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5.1.15 Vol. 5 No. 29
‘The most valuable antiques are just old friends’
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Live scenery Shakespeare
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Walking in someone elses feet? Busting myths Claire Whitley | Rawr
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horoscopes The Argonaut
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Your work in
Rawr illustration photography mixed media paintings sculptures short fiction poetry non-fiction Rawr is an alternative weekly publication covering art, culture, campus life and entertainment. We are accepting all forms of art and creativity to be featured inside the publication or on the cover. Email: arg-arts@uidaho.edu
5.1.15
Taurus 4/20-5/20 The good news is that when the asteroid hits, you will be safe and sound in a secret underground bunker stocked with a lifetime supply of Swedish Fish. The bad news is there will be no Netflix, so you will probably still die. Gemini 5/21-6/21 Everybody knows each Gemini has a twin. If you don’t believe me, feel free to ignore the little voice trying to communicate telepathically with you at 3:43 a.m. Sunday.
Cancer 6/22-7/22
You are stoked for the sunshine, and so are the wasps. It’s probably not a good idea to go anywhere near your car this weekend, because they chose your snazzy Volkswagen to plant a nest and throw a rager.
Leo 7/23-8/22 The world needs a hero like you. Strap on your flannel Power Rangers cape and stop that old lady from crashing her grocery cart into the cereal aisle.
Virgo 8/23-9/22 $10 says you are reading this right now. $100 says you are still reading this, and if you keep reading this
you’ll owe Scorpios $177.21 with 8 percent interest.
Libra 9/23-10/22
It’s probably been the longest wait of your life and it only came seven years late, but the persistent praying to the Wizard Gods has paid off. You are getting your Hogwarts letter this week. Jeez, you don’t have to scream so loud.
Scorpio 10/23-11/21
Congratulations. Thanks to all the Virgos reading their horoscope, you just earned $191.39. It’s a shame, though, because after reading this you have to donate all your winnings to Pisces. They had a really bad week.
Sagittarius 11/22-12/21 Time to start saving up your nickels. The only options you have left are stealing your roommate’s food or raiding the vending machines.
Emily Vaartstra | Rawr
Capricorn 12/22-1/19 You are going to have a dream that your nostrils fill up with excess skin and you can no longer smell. When you wake up, it will have actually happened. Fair warning.
Aquarius 1/20-2/18
I know you want to take a sledgehammer to your professor’s house, but having that on your record will just make your life more miserable than it already is.
Pisces 2/19-3/20 Your Netflix account got canceled, no thanks to your roommate. Take the $191.39 the Scorpios are being forced to give you.
Aries 3/21-4/19 Thank God you are friends with a Taurus. You joined them in the underground bunker and were smart enough to bring your portable 4G router to binge-watch “Supernatural.” Don’t tell Taurus you have it and you’ll outlive them for sure.
Beats to learn to without distracting you from the task It’s pretty much summer. Everyat hand. Just put them on shuffle and body’s breaking out their shorts and start stuffing your brain with flip-flops and getting ready for facts that you’ll quickly lose the beach. Unfortunately, fiafter finals. nals still lie between students and the sweet, sandy respite, so it seems only appropriate “The Family Sign” (Instruto drop a study mix-tape. Unmental) by Atmosphere fortunately, this is no ordinary All of Atmosphere’s music mix-tape, a short list of simiis worth a listen. Their lyrics lar songs — this is the random Cy Whitling are consistently interesting and mix-tape. It has songs, artists, Rawr thoughtful, so it’s hard for me to albums and maybe even a recommend an instrumental alvideo or two. bum when the normal version is so good. Odesza However, this album provides smooth Yeah, I know, it’s not a song or even consistent rhythms, perfect for reading or an album. It’s just an artist. That said, I writing. Need to crank out a final paper? think all of their songs make for pretty Just put on your headphones, turn on good study music. There is just enough “The Family Sign” and don’t emerge until going on to keep your brain stimulated the word count has been completed.
“A Tribute to Discomfort” by Cory Richards I told you this wasn’t a normal mixtape. This is not a song, it’s actually a video. Sometime, far past midnight, you will think you have hit the wall. You’ll be done, over it. Go Google, “A Tribute to Discomfort” and watch the video. Then think about how easy this school thing actually is. Then think about how much of a complainer you are being and stop it. Now that you are inspired, go kick school’s butt. Disclaimer, this video could also potentially inspire you to drop out of school and go climb mountains.
“Party in the U.S.A.” by Miley Cyrus OK, this one is not mandatory, but you do need some sort of victory
song for when you successfully complete your tests or projects. Maybe you jam out to something classier or mix it up with some Bieber, regardless, you need something to scream at the top of your lungs as you skip out of your classroom and into a summer of sand, sunscreen and surfing. Or maybe you just have an internship somewhere. Cy Whitling can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
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Rawr Review
‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ Delightful Netflix comedy is binge-worthy Bradley Burgess rawr
“Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” a Netflix original series from creator Tina Fey, was originally slated to premiere on NBC this spring. Ultimately, NBC passed on the show and gave it to Netflix, who immediately picked up the show for two seasons. After watching the show’s first 13 episodes, one gets the impression that NBC executives are kicking themselves right now. Ellie Kemper plays the title character, Kimmy Schmidt, who spent 15 years locked up in an underground bunker with three other women and a lunatic reverend who believes the end of
could be viewed as a doubledays is on the horizon. When the edged sword given that most women are rescued and the revof the show’s zanier lines could erend is arrested, Kimmy leaves fly over your head, but it also her past behind her by reinventmerits repeat viewings to catch ing herself in New York City. what you missed the She buys a new pair first time, which makes of sparkling shoes, gets the show even more a job as a babysitter for enjoyable. a wealthy couple and Several “30 Rock” moves in with a gay, asalumni return here, piring Broadway singer including Jane Kranamed Titus, played by kowski as Kimmy’s Tituss Burgess. Kimmy’s new boss, but the real complete lack of knowlBradley Burgess star of the show is edge about modern Rawr Kemper, best known culture, including an infor playing the equally explicable fear of Velcro, peppy Erin on “The Office.” may come off as naive, but of Kemper kills this part to course, Kimmy is unbreakable. the point that you forget her Tina Fey creates an instantly roles in larger-scale comedies likeable show that feels like the goofier, zanier cousin of her last like “Bridesmaids” and “21 Jump Street” and focus on show, “30 Rock.” The show’s the character she’s playing pace is lightning fast. Jokes now. Much of the comedy are dished out at an unstopcomes from Kimmy’s interacpable rate and all of them are tions with the world and the hilarious. The breakneck pace
people she encounters, as well as her brilliant perspective to things we take for granted. Case in point — upon seeing an iPhone, Kimmy squeals, “Is that a Macintosh?” Kemper’s undeniable energy is reflected throughout the rest of the show, right down to the episode titles, such as, “Kimmy Goes Outside!” or “Kimmy Goes to Court!” If anything, the other actors are keeping up with her, but they do it well. Burgess as Kimmy’s flamboyant roommate deserves a special mention and delivers much of the show’s physical comedy, mostly coming from what he wears each episode. Krakowski also entertains as what is basically an edgier version of Jenna from “30 Rock.” The situation Kimmy was put through opens up many possibilities for comedy, and the writers take advantage of every
single one. Various episodes put Kimmy in situations where she clearly doesn’t belong, such as a GED classroom, a plastic surgery clinic and an exercise class, and every single situation goes somewhere you wouldn’t expect. The show also clearly did its homework on what Kimmy would and would not know about culture, and it pays off, especially when she buys the “Rain Man” soundtrack on cassette tape from Amazon. “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” delivers fun, wacky comedy with a unique setup, a great cast and impeccable writing. It’s the full package for anyone who loves to laugh and should be on everyone’s binge-watch list. Until season two rolls around, troll the respawn, Jeremy. Bradley Burgess can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
A Crumbs recipe Fried chicken Ingredients n 2 chicken breasts n 1/2 cup of bacon grease n 1 egg, beaten n 1/2 cup of flour n 1/4 teaspoon paprika n 1/2 teaspoon chili powder n 1/4 teaspoon oregano n 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder n 1/2 teaspoon onion powder n 1 teaspoon cornstarch (optional)
Directions 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.
Heat bacon grease in a frying pan over medium high In a bowl, crack egg and beat with fork In a separate bowl, combine the remaining ingredients. If you use cornstarch, it will make the chicken a little crunchier Drop chicken in the egg and coat evenly, allowing excess to drain off Toss coated chicken in flour mixture to coat evenly To test if grease is hot enough you can spit in it or dribble water into it. If it sizzles and pops, it is ready Place in hot bacon grease. Be sure to place it in grease starting closest to you and moving away from your body Cook for three to five minutes on each side until golden brown and cooked through Serve with rice, potatoes, veggies or bacon from earlier Claire Whitley can be reached at crumbs@uidaho.edu or on Twitter @Cewhitley24
Claire Whitley | Crumbs
The Argonaut
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5.1.15
Seeking Shakespeare UI students modernize Shakespeare’s ‘Cymbeline’ Claire Whitley rawr
The posters are everywhere. Long hair draped over one shoulder, a cardboard crown and a smile hidden behind a finger mustache. Park Williams thinks it’s funny. Williams, a senior theater student at the University of Idaho, posed for the picture as her character Imogen from the Shakespeare play “Cymbeline.” “(Imogen) cross dresses to escape her pursuers,” Williams said. “We tried to represent that in the picture.” Matt Foss, theater professor and director for “Cymbeline,” said the story is kind of a fairy tale about star-crossed lovers, epic battles and has a “Princess Bride” feel to it. Foss said the plot isn’t changing in their contemporary rendition of the play, but he and his fellow directors have edited it down from three and a half hours to two hours, as well as streamlined some of the action. “It’s kind of all (Shakespeare’s) tricks in one play,” Williams said. The play takes place in Italy, Britain and part of Wales, but the directors have contemporized the time period. Williams said one of the characters, Philaria, is a club owner and wears a loose kimono-type shirt. Williams’ character, Imogen, will wear a collared dress, and while cross-dressing has a hoodie, beanie, cargo pants and boots. Another part of the play that will be different from the original is the stage design. Masters of fine arts student Courtney Smith will do live scenic design. The backdrop of the play is a big piece of fabric that the actors manipulate and move. The scenery is projected onto the
Nathan Romans | Rawr
Cast members of the University of Idaho Theatre Arts perform a dress rehersal of William Shakespeare’s “Cymbeline.” fabric. Smith said some of it is pre-drawn and he just shades it in or adds details live. “I am actively participating in creating the world,” Smith said. “We’re in this position that we can change if something doesn’t work.” Smith said he will be seated up on stage with the actors, but down stage and off to the side so as not to distract from the performance. Foss said the idea came from Smith wanting to try something new, and Smith became a sort of live world creator. “So much of Shakespeare is
asking the imaginations of the audience to fil out the world, and Courtney is trying to catalyze and collaborate with our audience’s imaginations for this production,” Foss said. While “Cymbeline” is one of Shakespeare’s lesser known plays, Williams and Smith are confident it is relevant and interesting for the audience. Williams said it is a really important story to tell because it reminds people of what is important in life and portrays all of the wonderful and awful things people deal with. “It’s a strong ensemble
We’ve put our hearts and all our energy into putting on this production. Courtney Smith
piece,” Foss said. “From the production, design and acting side of it, and I think the risks they are taking and what they have been learning is really
paying off.” Cymbeline will be performed in the Hartung Theatre at 7:30 p.m. May 1, 2, 7, 8, 9 and at 2 p.m. May 3 and 10. Tickets are $15 for general admission and free for UI students with their Vandal ID. “We’ve put our hearts and all our energy into putting on this production, and we hope that you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed doing it ourselves,” Smith said. Claire Whitley can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu or on Twitter @Cewhitley24
Rawr
A View and IPA Silas Whitley rawr
Beer Comparison
This week, I compared two India pale ales while sitting on a ledge next to a waterfall overlooking Dusty Lake, Washington. The IPA’s I tested were Caldera Brewing Company’s IPA out of Ashland, Oregon, and 21st Amendment Brewery’s “Brew Free or Die” from San Francisco, California. Admittedly, the beers were warm from sitting in my car and in my backpack on the hike in, so their flavor might have been different than if they were cold. Nevertheless, the 21st Amendment beer took the cake in alcohol content, with 7 percent alcohol by volume compared to the Caldera IPA at 6.1 percent. Both beers sadly had the warm beer feel to them and felt thicker than when cold, but the 21st Amendment IPA was heftier still. The Caldera hops were a brighter combination and were less earthy than the 21st Amendment hops. The only hops they each had in common is Centen-
Beer name Smoothness Taste ABV Cost
Caldera
21st Amendment
equal
equal
better
equal
higher equal
nial. Caldera uses Citra, Simcoe, Centennial and Amarillo, and 21st Amendment uses Columbus, Centennial and Cascade. Both cans were quite inspirational. The Caldera can recommended a bunch of activities to go and do, while the 21st Amendment can has a rocky Abe Lincoln smashing his way out of Mt. Rushmore.
Works in Progress
On Tap: Strawberry Blonde Ale, Red Ale Bottles: Red Ale, Pecan Red Ale, Stout Primary ferment: Nothing Secondary ferment: Nothing Queue-to-Brew: IPA, Pilsner
A Crumbs recipe Directions
n 9 pounds pale ale malt (82 percent) n 1 pound Crystal 40L malt (9 percent) n 1 pound Crystal 15L malt (9 percent)
1.Mash at 152 degrees Fahrenheit with three and 1/2 gallons of 162 degree water 2. Sparge with four gallons of water at 170 degrees Fahrenheit 3. Boil 60 minutes 4. Add one ounce of Chinook hops with 60 minutes of the boil
Events
Remember, Saturday is Brewfest at Moscow Ale house, and May 6 is Odell tap takeover at the Garden. See you there.
Homebrewing Recipe: IPA Cool either recipe as quickly as possible. Do not cover when cooling. Ferment either recipe for no more than 10 days using an ale yeast, then decant off of the sediment into another sanitary fermenter and let sit for at least another 10 days. Dry hop this recipe with two ounces Cascade hops during secondary fermentation. I recommend at least 10 days, but 14 days is better still. For dry hopping, use either pellets or whole hops and put them in the secondary fermenter. Decant directly onto the hops, there is no need for a hop bag. Remember, dry hopping is OK, and don’t worry about infecting the beer. After secondary fermentation, carbonate it either in bottles or a keg. Silas Whitley can be reached at crumbs@uidaho.edu
A Crumbs recipe
All grain IPA Ingredients
5
Extract IPA remaining 5. Add one ounce of Cascade with 30 minutes of the boil remaining 6. Add one ounce of Centennial hops with five minutes of the boil remaining 7. Two ounces Cascade hops for dry hopping
Ingredients
Directions
n 6 pounds light dried malt extract n 1 pound Crystal 75L malt n 1 pound Crystal 40L malt
1. Steep grains at 160 degrees Fahrenheit for 30 minutes with three gallons of water 2. Remove grain, add malt extract, then boil for 60 minutes 3. Add one ounce of Chinook hops with 60 minutes of the boil remaining 4. Add one ounce
of Cascade with 30 minutes of the boil remaining 5. Add one ounce of Centennial hops with five minutes of the boil remaining 6. Two ounces Cascade hops for dry hopping 7. Add around three gallons cold water after boil to reach fivegallon end volume and to cool wort
The Argonaut
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Shoeless Micah Lyndsie Kiebert rawr
Micah Millheim has heard the same question hundreds of times and is no less surprised each time he hears it. “The first personal question someone will ask me is why I don’t wear shoes,” Millheim said. “(They) ask me if it’s a religious or a philosophical thing, but it’s really just the most comfortable way for me to get around. I don’t see it as a special thing.” Growing up on 40 acres of forest in Potlatch, Idaho, Millheim developed a practical love for being barefoot at an early age. “My brothers and I would go out and play in the creeks, but when you’re wearing shoes you can’t really go wading, and then when you take your shoes off you can’t put them back on because your feet are wet,” Millheim said. “I just started wearing sandals, but later I decided it was easier — because I didn’t like keeping track of things — to just go barefoot all the time.” Millheim, a music performance major who is graduating this May, said although he began going barefoot at an early age, it wasn’t until college when he embraced the idea as a way of living. Due to his abnormally wide feet, shoes can be extremely painful, Millheim said. He said a pair of work boots once caused his toes to go numb for an entire month. This biological circumstance is the main reason Millheim has chosen the barefoot life. “Not only does it feel like you’re getting pinched on your toes all the time, but when you have actual added height to your heal, it’s bad for your back,” Millheim said. Millheim also has a history with depression, and said going without shoes may be an inadvertent treatment. “It’s not a conscious part of (treating my depression), but I think it would be a lot worse if I had to wear shoes,” Millheim said. “It’s practical, I guess.” Millheim said another appeal to being barefoot is the sensory aspect. He said feeling the world beneath your feet is worthwhile. “It’s not a deeper understanding or anything, it’s just that you experience something in a slightly different way and somehow that becomes a big deal,” Millheim said.
He is often seen on campus and around Moscow without shoes, which has given him quite a reputation. This is something he finds funny. “It’s strange, getting a reputation for something you just do because it’s the easiest thing,” he said. “The other night, I was walking past a party on Greek row and they started chanting, ‘No shoes guy! No shoes guy!’ It was a really interesting experience.” These interesting moments vary from humorous to heartfelt. Millheim has had professors refer to him as a hippie, a title he does identify with due to lack of political reasoning behind his shoeless choice. Once on a trip to Nepal with his church group, Millheim found himself having an epiphany while barefoot in the Himalayas. “I was like, ‘This is really, really cool. I’m on the other side of the world … and I’m not wearing shoes,’” Millheim said. Millheim said his bare feet have encouraged conversations with people he would have otherwise probably never met, such as when two Islamic students approached him in the Idaho Commons to ask him if he was barefoot for religious reasons. “I told them I was Christian, but that it wasn’t the reason I didn’t wear shoes,” Millheim said. “We got into a very friendly discussion of our beliefs. It got really deep really quickly, and it was cool to see such a profound interaction happen just because I was barefoot.” Millheim said you can tell a lot about a person by how they react to his lack of shoes. One winter he had a woman offer him $30 to purchase new shoes, and when he attempted to explain that his shoeless-ness was a personal choice she said she wouldn’t take ‘No’ for an answer. “She was so insistent that I ended up taking the cash because it was the least awkward option,” he said. “I felt so bad about it. I eventually went to Starbucks and told them to put the money towards the next few people’s orders.” Another concern people often have for Millheim is whether he has ever been injured while going barefoot. He said Moscow is among one of the safest cities he’s found based on what can be found on the ground. He also said after going barefoot for a while, your feet get “tough.”
5.1.15
Consistently barefoot student shares stories, perspective
Lyndsie Kiebert | Rawr
University of Idaho Senior Micah Millheim walks through the world without shoes. “I’ve stepped on broken glass and not noticed,” Millheim said. “Everybody is so worried about (not wearing shoes), like you’re gonna hurt yourself, but I just don’t think about it.” Millheim said music is undoubtedly his greatest passion. He is able to play several instruments, including piano, electric bass and double bass. He said the complexity of music is what draws him to be a performer, especially learning about the ways people interpret music. “You can view (music) culturally, you can view it analytically, you can view it
emotionally, you can view it spiritually, there are so many ways,” Millheim said. Millheim will perform at 7:30 p.m. Friday at the Lionel Hampton School of Music. He’ll be playing classical double bass pieces, but he said if people don’t like classical music and just want to see a guy with a beard do something cool, they should come. Unfortunately, he will be wearing shoes. Lyndsie Kiebert can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
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‘Living the art’ A little commitment goes a long way for one UI couple Whitney Hilliard rawr
Two graduate students at the University of Idaho have not only committed themselves to the fine arts, but also to each other. James and Lindsay Mammone met through a mutual friend one month before graduating from the Ringling College of Art and Design in Sarasota, Florida. The two came to UI last fall to pursue masters of fine arts degrees. They are enrolled as full-time students taking graduate level courses, and they each take on the task of instructing a couple of art classes each semester. “We have to have different supervisors, because we are married,” Lindsay Mammone said. The couple said they consult each other for help, but they haven’t collaborated on any projects as of now. They also said they weren’t sure if they ever would, since they have different focuses. James Mammone said his focus is large-scale paintings. His current project is theoretical physics-based and imaginative, taking natural elements and combining them with technological elements. Lindsay Mammone said she delves into numerous art mediums and is currently working on expanding in media. The two artists agreed art is, and has been, a huge part of their lives. Lindsay Mammone’s grandfather taught her to draw when she was young. She said at 13 years old she made the decision to fully commit to art on a serious level. She grew up in Marlton, New Jersey, and attended a large high school, where she took advanced placement art courses and college level art workshops. Lindsay Mammone said she
loves the experience of creating a new piece, especially being able to get into the zone. “When an artist is really focused and they’re creating something, it’s almost like pieces of their soul come out,” she said. James Mammone grew up in Clinton, Massachusetts, and began drawing at a young age. He said he abandoned it until he was about 23 years old. “I think I just stayed up through the night one night, did a drawing and realized it was what I wanted to do the rest of my life,” he said. James Mammone said he loves the freedom and independence of the arts, and it fits him perfectly. He often spends hours in the studio and said he appreciates the fact that Lindsay shares his passion for art, so she understands what it is like to reach that level of focus. Lindsay Mammone said it helps that they are both artists, so they have a mutual understanding and can provide motivation for each other. “If we are stuck on a piece, we can go to the other person and talk about our frustrations and work through it, emotionally, mentally and formally,” she said. “That’s huge, to be able to talk to your spouse about the formal issues of the art.” The couple was full of laughter and smiles while talking about what makes their relationship work, and they were so in sync they could even finish each other’s sentences. They said they allow each other to be themselves and have an unconditional love for each other and don’t have any expectations for one another. The two also said they are comfortable in their own skin. Lindsay Mammone said being able to work together helps them be completely open and understanding of what’s going on in the other person’s life. “We are 100 percent living the art,” she said. Whitney Hilliard can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
Jackson Flynn | Rawr
Graduate Student James Mammone has two massive acrylic paintings displayed in the Reflections Gallery in the Idaho Commons. His work will be up until the end of the semester.
The Argonaut
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5.1.15
Gotta read it to believe it Emily Vaartstra Rawr
Bees, magic, explosions and the potty dance, myths busted
Ever wondered if a wasp can still sting if it’s dead or if the potty dance can help keep pee in? Rest easy, because here are four myths that have been answered.
Don’t step on the dead
The best victory dance after killing a menacing wasp is a good old-fashioned stomp to squish out its guts and claim dominance over its venomous stinger. But is the battle against the stinger over once the wasp is dead? According to one of New Zealand’s Crown Research Institutes, Landcare Research, the safest bet is to keep bare feet far away from dead wasps. The greater concern, however, is probably why anyone would try to step on a wasp with bare feet anyway. The sac that carries the wasp’s venom still pulses for a short period of time after the wasp dies. There is still a chance the stinger won’t inject the venom post-mortem, but that’s a bet not many are willing to take. While wasps might be the most annoying, good-for-nothing pests on the planet, there’s no use getting stung due to extreme anger toward a dead wasp.
Genie Tran | Rawr
And voila! Table’s cleared The trick to swiping a tablecloth without actually clearing the table is a simple physics lesson from Sir Isaac Newton himself. By pulling straight down on the tablecloth — key word down, not out — inertia and friction comes into play. Newton’s First Law of Motion — an object at rest will remain at rest and an object in motion will remain in motion unless disturbed by an outside force — explains why the items on the table remain at rest, but how does the outside force, aka the moving tablecloth, not disturb the resting objects? The answer is friction. When rapidly pulling the cloth straight down, friction acts on the objects, but the force is small since the tablecloth is slick, which allows the cloth to slip under the objects. The force is small enough that the inertia of the object is only slightly disturbed. It isn’t magic — just a bit of science.
Doin’ the potty dance
Cell phone = gas station inferno?
The potty dance has been saving underwear since, well, since whoever cared enough to call awkward fidgeting with a full bladder the potty dance. But does the potty dance actually help hold the urine in? A test from the hit show “Myth Busters” claims the results can vary from person to person, but generally, it is actually a relaxed state that allows the bladder to hold urine in for a longer period of time. Moving around can tense up the pelvis and abdominal muscles, which puts extra pressure on the bladder.
When a gas company like Exxon posts warnings that using a mobile device at a gas station could cause an explosion, it wouldn’t seem smart to test this theory. The idea is that cell phones can cause sparks to set off and, obviously, sparks and gasoline don’t mix too well. But since the origins of this myth, it has yet to be proven plausible. The Petroleum Equipment Institute has gone on record saying static electricity can ignite gas vapors, but every gas pump nozzle has a wire that grounds the nozzle to prevent safety hazards.
There is actually a greater chance of setting off a spark by getting in and out of the car while it is filling up with gas than there ever would be by answering a cell phone while refueling. The incident can occur if the driver gets back in the car while refueling and then exits the car without discharging the static electricity and then touches metal on the nozzle, which causes a spark to ignite the gas vapor. So no, using a cell phone at a gas station doesn’t cause a fire — it’s just you. Emily Vaartstra can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
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Aly Soto | Rawr
The best crazy car chases “The Matrix Reloaded” Whether or not you agree with the Wachowski’s upgrade of their sci-fi classic, everyone was bowled over by their intense freeway chase scene that ate up 15 minutes of screen time. Reality was bent, the laws of physics were broken and jaws dropped.
road, and the results couldn’t be crazier. Lasting five minutes longer than the “Reloaded” car chase, this scene may not be death proof, but it’s near impossible not to have fun watching it.
“The Dark Knight”
“Terminator 2: Judgment Day” Arnold Schwarzenegger’s classic action movie featured a vehicular duel between two robots — one driving a tanker, the other a motorbike. As if this weren’t enough, the chase takes place in a drainpipe. One of the most memorable car chases in film history, this one is still cool to this day.
Bradley Burgess
“Death Proof” Kurt Russell battles a group of hot chicks on the
a busy street, all bets are off. Over 15 cars are obliterated over the course of this chase, and it couldn’t be crazier or more fun.
“The Bourne Ultimatum”
How do you spice up a car chase? Add a Batmobile. With cop cars getting blown up, trucks flipping over and, of course, Batman, this is a killer scene.
The Jason Bourne trilogy comes to an epic crescendo with a car chase that upends several vehicles, even grinding one on a guardrail. One of the best spy thrillers of all time has to deliver one of the best car chases of all time.
“The Island”
“Captain America: The Winter Soldier”
Michael Bay improves on his own idea by Rawr replacing cars with train wheels and flipping Hummers, armored trucks and adding a flying bike in for good measure. If anyone can blow stuff up with style, it’s Bay.
“Fast Five” When two cars tow a 3,000-pound vault through
The previous car chases involved Batman, Jason Bourne and Terminators. Why not Samuel L. Jackson? A fun, breakneck chase ending with a shocking reveal of the title character, this should be a must for any car chase fan. Bradley Burgess can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
The Argonaut
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5.1.15
Friday Fiction
Shoot the tail of a platypus Kelly P. Vickers rawr
Stacks of jeans crumple to the floor and mannequins wobble on their stands as he races through the aisles of the mall department store. He can see a dim light ahead coming from the store entrance. It must be the clouded daylight creeping through the skylight, which means the food court is next door — which also means he’s still stuck on the second floor. Behind him, Jack can hear the moaning get closer. Whoever said zombies were slow and stupid was completely wrong. These zombies are fast and have damn good stamina. He makes a sharp turn toward the indoor entrance, narrowly avoiding a collision with a clearance rack. Coming toward him from the far side of the linoleum floor path is a group of five sprinting zombies, most of them missing some kind of limb or facial feature. The brain of the pack’s leader is literally bouncing up and down, threatening to fall out with each step. His right hand man’s eyeballs are swinging out of their sockets back and forth. Jack slips his machete out of the makeshift protector he had created with a leather purse. With the five in front of him and however many behind him, he needs to find a short cut. The lingerie section seems like a pretty good bet. He cuts into an aisle filled with lacy black outfits he could now only dream of ever seeing a girl wearing. He reaches out for the top of a nearby rack and knocks it down behind him. A loud noise followed by growling tells him he knocked one of the suckers down, but he doesn’t have time to look back and confirm. He continues to zig-zag through the undergarments until he
reaches the linoleum path leading to the theft detectors at the entrance. But one of the devils was already waiting for him. Smart cookie must have figured out Jack’s plan and broke away from the group to cut him off. The lone zombie begins to charge at Jack. Jack ducks his head down and mimics his foe’s actions. Twenty feet. Fifteen. Ten. At five feet, Jack slides feet first toward the half faceless monster and swings his machete at the rotted shins of the freak. With a clean swipe, its feet go flying while the body faceplants. Unfortunately, the move narrowed the gap between him the freaks behind him. Jack picks up one of the severed limbs and chucks it at a lever he can only hope is the one that brings down the security gate to the entrance. The lever budges only slightly. The metal gate creaks down slowly from the ceiling. Still sprinting, Jack jumps and reaches for the gate, but only manages to slap it with the machete. Luckily, the vibration causes the gate to wiggle down a bit more before the lever releases and the gate crashes to the ground. He on one side, the undead mutilated freaks on the other. The victorious moment is short-lived. Slinking their way out from under the tables are the Hybrids. That’s what everyone calls them, because it’s easier than saying “Run! It’s the half-wolf, half-platypus, acid-spitting monsters!” While the Hybrids are probably the most lethal little punks, they are also blind as a bat and just plain stupid. Jack watches as two of them smash into each other, snarl, then spit neon blue acid at each other. They explode in a little cloud of blue smoke. The key is to kill them from long distance. Jack pulls out his 9mm from the belt loop of his cargo pants. Kill shot equals
one bullet to the tail. Jack aims at a cluster of six Hybrids and pulls the trigger. He hits the fat platypus tails of five of them. The noise alerts the remaining seven of the origin of the threat. They scuttle aimlessly in his direction, several of them crashing into each other and spitting acid everywhere. The clouds of blue smoke blur Jack’s vision. He shoots blindly into the blue. When the smoke clears, only the corpses of the unexploded Hybrids remain. Downstairs. He needs to get downstairs. Jack moves swiftly toward the immobile escalators and slides down the railing to first floor. He takes a quick breather before heading down a long hallway. He passes a ransacked candy store, a bookstore with a floor swimming in books, a jewelry store — oddly untouched — and a specialty clothing store called Onesies Are For Everyone. As he approaches an intersection, he stops. Three dark figures emerge. Literally just dark figures. The warlocks look like a human void of pure blackness, which is why everyone just calls them the Voids. The only hint of them being actual, living creatures is the human outline and their pair of yellow eyes. No one, absolutely no one, can defeat the Voids. The only person who was ever rumored to survive the wrath of these warlocks is… “Jack! Get out of the way!” Matt Damon? What are the chances that the Void slayer himself would come to save Jack? Jack races to meet Matt Damon behind the smart phone accessory kiosk. “Alright Jack, here’s the plan. I’m going to shoot this bazooka at those sons of bitches and you’re gonna take this tricycle and pedal as fast as you can toward the exit. Comprende?” Jack looks at the hot pink “Dragon Tales” tricycle with a
Aly Soto |Rawr
big orange horn on the front. “But Matt, I want to help! There are three of them, man! You’ll die trying to take down all of them!” “I am the chosen one, Jack. It is my destiny. Go Jack.” Jack hops on the tricycle — his knees almost touching his chest. “Oh and Jack, don’t forget to hit the turbo boost.” Jack looks down at the bright green button labeled “Super Kick-Ass Turbo Boost to Escape Voids.” Matt Damon’s signature is inscribed on the bottom. Jack looks back and sees that the warlocks are closing
in on the kiosk. Matt Damon positions the bazooka on top of the counter and pulls the trigger. Jack begins to pedal. He presses the turbo boost. The mall evaporates into a chamber of wires and monitors. A monotone female voice fills the room. “Simulation 478 complete. Status: success. Time: 43 minutes and 57 seconds. New simulation record. Commence simulation 479.” Stacks of jeans crumple to the floor and mannequins wobble on their stands as he races through the aisles of the mall department store.
Rawr
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Sniper bullets can travel so far that the rotation of Earth will move the target, and shooters have to adjust their aim accordingly. Rats who were trained to press a lever for food stopped pressing the lever once they saw that it also caused another rat to receive an electric shock. A hyena laugh can be heard from up to three miles away.
There are so many varieties of apples that if you tried a new one everyday it would take you almost 20 years to try them all.
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Gauche (Gohsh)
Lacking social polish; tactless Ants cannot be seriously injured from impact with the ground after being dropped from any height because they don’t have enough mass. Fake art can be detected because of nuclear bombs. Isotopes that didn’t exist in nature before the nuclear explosions can be found in forgeries of art that is supposed to date before 1945.
Example:
With finals around the corner, the gauche student angered many friends.
D R WOof the K From wtffunfacts.com
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The Colossally Amazing Adventures of Norbert (and Friends) by Samantha Brownell Agh! Dead week, finals ... bleh. Sammy, it’s time to go to East City Park!
Wait, what?
Renaissance Fair? Saturday and Sunday?
Ah! I forgot! One second!
Remember to take a break from studying now and then and have some fun!
Rawr
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5.1.15
Study tips to help you survive finals: 1. Start by studying the most important information. 2. Take short breaks frequently. 3. Listen to relaxing music, such as classical or jazz. 4. Get regular sleep. 5. Find a comfortable or quiet place to study (like the Cedar Grove room in the Idaho Commons!)
Good luck! Idaho Commons: 885 . 2667 info@uidaho.edu
Bruce Pitman Center: 885 . 4636 www.sub.uidaho.edu