5.2.2014 Vol. 4 No. 26
rawr ‘paint with all the colors of the wind’
summer movies
page 5
senior speakout friday fiction
page 7
page 10
cover art by cy whitling | rawr
horoscopes the argonaut
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your work in rawr illustration photography
Taurus 4/20-5/20 Do an anti-rain dance. Do it now.
5.2.14
kaitlyn krasselt | rawr
mixed media paintings sculptures short fiction poetry non-fiction rawr is an alternative weekly publication covering art, culture, campus life and entertainment. We are accepting all forms of art and creativity to be featured inside the publication, or on the cover. Email: arg-arts@uidaho.edu
Gemini 5/21-6/21 They’re renaming Dead Week in your honor. This treacherous week will forever more be known as Nap Week.
Cancer 6/22-7/22 We know you’re tired and ready for summer, but yes, you do still have to wear pants in public.
move to Tijuana. We all know your secret.
Scorpio 10/23-11/21
Pisces 2/19-3/20
Sagittarius 11/22-12/21
It’s your turn to start the fight song in a random downtown location. If you don’t know the words, spare yourself and drop out now. You should be ashamed.
You’re graduating and have no job? Well this is awkward …
Virgo 8/23-9/22
Capricorn 12/22-1/19
Moving back in with your parents after you graduate is nothing to be ashamed of … for now.
“If you were a parrot would your parrot sit on your right shoulder or your left shoulder?” Stop using this pick up line unless you truly believe you can pull it off … and even then … use it wisely.
Libra 9/23-10/22 It’s time to change your name and
mix-tape In the midst of cramming final term papers and stressing yourself out over studying for those cumulative tests, it is okay to feel sorry for yourself just a little bit. These things get everybody down and you need a chance to mope before you give yourself a slap in the face and get back on the horse. This is a great list of songs to set the mood for your mope fest.
“Cry” by Rihanna Just because you’re feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t mean you have to cry over it. That’s Rihanna’s message in this song accompanied by a great piano melody.
“Hallelujah” by Matthew Schuler
This beautiful song written by Leonard Cohen is always a emily “Airplanes” by B.o.B feat. winner when you need a buddy vaartstra to feel sorry for you. The best Hayley Williams rawr version of this song is done by While this song is on the John Cale but Matthew Schuler, lighter side of moping, Bobby Ray and a previous contestant on “The Voice,” Paramore’s Hayley Williams are singing does a knock-out performance worth the words we’re all thinking when it listening to. comes to finals week.
Easter is over. You can stop re-hiding and finding the eggs now.
You might be the biggest Grouplove fan on campus, but that doesn’t mean you get to return to the ‘90s with a boom box on you shoulder and parachute pants. You’re in the wrong era. Summer is near. Have no fear. Your pasty white skin is not a sin. There’s sunshine for that. Or at least a really good banana boat sunless tanner.
Leo 7/23-8/22
Aquarius 1/20-2/18
Bro tanks aren’t for everyone. By that I mean they’re not for you.
Aries 3/21-4/19
Just let me mope
“What’s Left of Me” by Nick Lachey Even without 98 Degrees to back him up, Nick Lachey’s vocals are a perfect serenade for any day you are feeling down.
“Say Something” by A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera This song is a good tear jerker. By the time it’s over, you’ll have cried out all the self-pity and will be back to dancing again in no time.
“Heavy in Your Arms” by Florence and the Machine No one but Florence can truly sing the depths of the emotions you are
feeling. This song will allow you to own the weight of your woes and wallow in them just a little bit longer.
“Human” by Christina Perri We’re only human. There is only so much craziness we can take at a time. While this song will make you feel better about your moping, the orchestra crescendo toward the end of the song will spark some revival to keep your head up.
“Bad Day” by Daniel Powter “Where is the passion when you need it the most? You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost.” Let the moping begin. Emily Vaartstra can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
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RAWR REVIEWS
A ‘Justified’ choice Goggins looks downright menA U.S. marshal walks into acing in a black sweater. a Florida bar to confront a Each episode of “Justified” gun thug. The marshal gives is a beautiful coalescence of the thug 24 hours to leave mystery, western and comedy. town or he will kill him. The miscreant refuses and attempts The majority of the time, Givens spends each episode to shoot the marshal, investigating peculiar who fortunately draws Marshal-related crimes quickly and shoots him that seem to plague first. This tense scene Harlan County — such is surprisingly resolved as the rocket launcher within minutes and related bank robberies. serves to set the tone The use of a marshal of the pilot episode of “Justified.” aleya ericson for a main character rawr differentiates “Justified” “Justified” follows from the overcrowded U.S. marshal, Raylan crime field that is littered with Givens (Timothy Olyphant), every “CSI: Crime Scene Investiwho is reassigned to his homegation” and “Law and Order” town in Kentucky, following variation imaginable. Simultathe shooting. Even though the neously, fans of both mystery shooting was ruled to be justishows will be enticed by a new fied — cue title drop — Givens is moved to avoid bad publicity spin on often overdone format. As the Western-style shootand due to his familiarity with out that opened season one Kentucky. demonstrated, Givens is fond Givens’ primary task upon of dispensing his own style of his arrival is investigating the justice. The show’s tense action activities of an old friend Boyd sequences are filled with WestCrowder (Walton Goggins). ern shootouts that serve to Crowder is a white supremamove the plot and add stakes cist who has taken to robbing to Givens’ actions. One cannot banks and blowing up buildhelp but wonder, though, how ings with a rocket launcher to the high body count at the end distract from the robbery. of each season hasn’t attracted The concept of using a national attention. cumbersome, heavy rocket Each season focuses on a launcher for any sort of realcentral opposing character istic criminal activity should whose actions serve to drive be absurd, but somehow, the show makes it work. The excel- the cascade of violent conflict lent writing and pacing of each that characterizes the Harlan area. The writing of “Justified” “Justified” episode serves to flexes its muscles in that the hypnotize the viewer into not actions of each character serve noticing the passage of time — to connect in a complicated much akin to critical darling plot arc that pays off in future “Breaking Bad.” seasons, which is something “Justified” stands out in that many shows cannot dea crowded TV playing field liver on. because it is weird in a unique Sadly, “Justified” is nearing way. The show appeals to a close with the sixth season those who enjoy sarcasm premiering in January 2015. with perfect comedic delivery Luckily, the early seasons — inby Olyphant and Goggins. If cluding season one — are availit were not for the excellent able for free for Amazon Prime acting, one would suspect that users. For those of you looking the actors were chosen for to fill the “Breaking Bad” sized their ability to rock certain hole in your heart, “Justified” is accessories. Olyphant is the worth a shot. only one that could possibly Aleya Ericson can be reached not look ridiculous in Givens’ at arg-arts@uidaho.edu trademark cowboy hat and
Cheese sticks nurainy darono rawr It was the time when I felt tired of the taste of cheese strings. I made a quick cheese sticks recipe that can satisfy my cheese appetite but still didn’t taste like regular cheese strings. To make this cheese sticks, it only took me a total of 10 minutes. It taste so delicious and make sure to eat them while hot, so you can pull that melted cheese with your fork. nurainy darono | crumbs
A Crumbs Recipe Card Cheese sticks Ingredients: • • • • • • •
6 cheese strings 1/2 cup Italian bread crumbs 1 egg, beaten 1/4 cup flour 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon black pepper 1/2 cup vegetable oil
Directions: 1. 2.
Cut cheese strings into half. In a bowl, mix salt and pepper with flour. 3. Once at a time, coat cheese string with flour mix. 4. Coat with egg and then with bread crumbs. Be careful here and coat each section thoroughly, so cheese won’t melt out of the surface when frying. 5. In a pan, heat oil in a high heat for a few minutes. 6. Fry cheese sticks each side for 30-45 seconds or until golden brown. 7. Drain on paper towels. 8. Serve hot with marinara sauce.
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5.2.14
Dinner and a show A murder mystery production directed by Travis Gray will be held at the Moscow Moose Lodge alexia neal rawr The Moscow Moose Lodge is hosting a murder mystery dinner theater show with the University of Idaho on May 9-11. The show “Out of Sight...Out of Murder” is directed by Travis Gray, a -theater MFA student. “The show is free, but there is a suggested donation (in order) to eat,” Gray said. “All proceeds go to the Moose Heart — a Chicago-based orphanage.” The show is about an author, Peter, writing alone in a mansion in Vermont on a stormy night. Because of the storm, the characters he writes about in his book come to life and he is suddenly in a real life murder mystery. Peter is played by Clay Kirkwood, a junior at UI. “Peter is a very intense guy,” Kirkwood said. “All he really wants to do is have a drink and go to bed, but it seems life isn’t letting him get the kind of peace he feels he deserves.” Gray said the show embraces a lot of the murder mystery clichés. There are the two lovers, the old character, the butler and the maid — all instantly recognizable characters that make up a murder mystery. There are nine people in the cast and three designers for the show — costume, lighting and scenic designers. Gray said most of the designers in the department were busy designing for the Cherry Orchard. Rehearsals for the show were six days a week from 10 to midnight in order to accommodate the cast members and designers that were also rehearsing for “The Cherry Orchard.” Gray said employees at the Moose Lodge hope the dinner theater event becomes an
Parker Wilson | rawr
Students rehearse their lines and act out a few scenes during a rehearsal of the Murder Mystery Dinner Theater that took place Tuesday night at the Moose Lodge. The event will be held May 9-11 and is free to attend, but a donation to the Moose Heart Orphanage is suggested. annual event as a way to give back to the community and fundraise for Moose Heart. Gray was assigned a class project of producing a production off campus without the help of university resources. He said he happened to find out the Moose Lodge was looking for a dinner theater opportunity, as well. Finding a venue for the show wasn’t difficult, but Gray said one of the biggest challenges he faced as the director was finding a family-friendly
There is some scary music here and there but it’s mostly just meant to be funny.” Travis Gray
script. He really wanted the event to be appropriate for people of all ages. “There is some scary music here and there but it’s mostly just meant to be funny,” Gray
said. “At most, we have a thunder sound effect.” They are even figuring out a free daycare system at the Moose Lodge so people can bring even small children and not have to worry about finding daycare, according to Gray. “It’s just one weekend,” Kirkwood said. “The limited performances should give us a good group of people in the audience.” Alexia Neal can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
more information What: Murder Mystery dinner theater When: May 9-11, Where: Moscow Moose Lodge Cost: Free, donation suggested
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Your summer movie guide bradley burgess rawr
illustration by austin brown | rawr
When all of the studying is over and summer break begins, hardworking students will need things to do. The summer movie season is one of the most profitable in Hollywood and for good reason — some of the best movies come out then. Let’s breakdown the various epic adventures moviegoers can experience in the next few months. Kicking off the summer is “The Amazing Spider-Man 2,” where Spider-Man faces a horde of new villains in one of three comic book movies coming out this season. Rounding out the trifecta is “X-Men: Days of Future Past,” a time-travelling epic which is ranking highly on nerds’ todo lists and for good reason since it brings together the old and new X-Men casts in the same movie. “Guardians of the Galaxy” — a film which looks like perfection judging from the 2-minute trailer — will explore a rouge team of Marvel superheroes, with actors including “Parks and Recreation” Chris Pratt, Bradley Cooper as a talking raccoon with a mean streak and Zoe Saldana, who goes from blue in “Avatar” to green in this film. Also in the epic category is “Transformers: Age of Extinction,” which kicks off a new trilogy of “Transformers” films — not to mention adding Dinobots into the fray. “Godzilla” promises to be the best the giant lizard ever with wanton destruction and an all-star cast. The movie includes Elizabeth Olson and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, names you might be familiar with if you’ve been following the next “Avengers” movie. There’s also the sci-fi epic “Jupiter Ascending,” created by the Wachowskis, who also
made “The Matrix.” One look at the trailer and you know this new film — in which Mila Kunis discovers she’s intergalactic royalty — will be as original and mind blowing as the classic film. But summer isn’t just a time for epic thrills. It’s also a time for epic laughs. In the comedy section, we have Melissa McCarthy in “Tammy,” a road trip movie that McCarthy wrote along with her husband, who direcs the movie. There’s also “Let’s Be Cops,” a buddy cop movie without the cops, which promises to be a R-rated laugh fest. Seth McFarlane follows up “Ted” with “A Million Ways To Die In The West,” a period comedy that has the potential to go south very fast. We also get a double dose of Channing Tatum after “Jupiter Ascending” in “22 Jump Street,” which takes Tatum and Jonah Hill to college. And for tearjerker fans, we have a few dramas in the mix. “Begin Again” takes Mark Ruffalo to the street music scene with Kiera Knightley and Maroon 5’s Adam Levine. “The Fault In Our Stars” takes on the touchy subject of cancer from a teenager’s point of view — think a tween version of “50/50” without Seth Rogen. And as an added bonus, this teenager is played by Shailene Woodley, who has proven in “The Descendants” and “Divergent” that she can carry a film. And that’s just scratching the surface of the summer. There’s also “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” “Rise of the Planet of the Apes,” “Maleficent,” “The Expendables 3,” “Edge of Tomorrow,” “How to Train Your Dragon 2” and a sequel to “The Purge” — wait, what? Oh well, at least everything else will be epic. Bradley Burgess can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
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5.2.14
Graduating seniors speak out nurainy darono rawr
Finally, a four-year (or more) journey of University of Idaho seniors has led them to the finish line. With graduation commencement is in two weeks, some of UI seniors shared their thoughts and thank you’s to their meritorious professors and advisors.
Sammi Gunning (English – Creative Writing) “I would like to thank Colleen Quinn, the Director of Student Involvement and Katie Dahlinger, the Associate Director of Student Involvement for pushing me to pursue what would become my passion. After graduation, I will sammi gunning be pursuing a career in event planning and getting married to rawr the love of my life, Theo White, who is also a graduating senior.”
Lauren Naughton (Finance and Marketing)
lauren naughton rawr
alex booth rawr
Michael Egland (Pre-veterinary)
michael egland rawr
“I would like to say thank you to my animal science professors and my advisor Dr. Hunt for being great professors, making the information interesting, having fair classes and for providing me with the tools to succeed in veterinary school. My plans for graduating consist of moving to Boise, looking for a job at a veterinary clinic and reapply to vet school in October.”
Clay Cravea (Architecture)
Alex Booth (Advertising)
“Professor Grieb (Finance) and Professor Mishra (Marketing) have been really great instructors that have helped me throughout my college career. I’m very thankful that I have a job when I graduate working for Nestle USA.”
“The entire Journalism and Mass Media (JAMM) department, professors, faculty and students, come together to make a great educational experience for anyone. I have truly enjoyed being exposed to the media world by real professionals. Special shout out to Mark Secrist for enhancing my interest in advertising. After graduating, I plan to relocate to Seattle, Washington, and pursue a profession in an advertising agency.”
“I would have to say thanks to Rob Church for inspiring me to push my limits and open my eyes to new ideas. I plan on coming back to UI for my Masters in Architecture.”
clay cravea rawr
Kellie Koester (History and International Studies, Spanish minor)
Jamil Sepulveda (Business Management – Human Resources, International Studies and Spanish)
jamil sepulveda rawr
“In general, I believe most of my professors provided me with a wonderful collection of rich learning experiences that have changed my world view and made me more aware and critical of the world around me. I really enjoyed professors who were truly dedicated to teach and reached out to their students in other ways such as mentoring them, helping them with their resumes or offering them advice outside the classroom.”
kellie koester rawr
“There are a thousand thank you’s that I could give out but specifically I’d like to say thank you to Dr. Quinlan in the history department for sharing his interest in the history of science and medicine, and to Dr. Campbell in the Honors Program for caring less about my grades and more about who I am as a person.”
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jacob groupman | courtesy
Musical Renaissance Art, music, dance, fire and fertility rights claire whitley rawr The Renaissance era was one of a series of intellectual movements in the Middle Ages that brought life to art, music, food and the way people think. Ellen Kittell, University of Idaho history professor, said prior to the Renaissance everything was focused on God. Kittell said in the 14th century, people began to question why the focus was on heaven when God made the Earth for the human race. This revolutionary thought changed much of the culture of the world and the way art and music were viewed, she said. The Moscow community embraces the expression of
beauty in its own Renaissance Fair. This year marks the 56th anniversary of the Renaissance Fair, which is held at East City Park. The fair lasts May 2 and May 3, with a craft fair, a royalty parade, international food, live music performances and two Maypole dances — one on each day. Live performances are on the stage all day long and some artists include local bands, bands from the Northwest and one award-winning bluegrass band, Front Country, from San Francisco. The music is everything from yodeling and bluegrass to Americana and South African beats. The fair music director Mark Lesko said he enjoys getting a variety of artists from all areas. One of the first acts on May 2 is a Sub-Saharan marimba ensemble made up of local artists including Diane Walker, professor emeritus of
dance at UI. Walker said rhythm is the heart of the music and it is hard to sit still when listening to the marimba ensemble. The ensemble plays energetic music that is easy to dance to. “We want people to feel free to dance in any way they want,” Walker said. “As the African saying goes: ‘if you can walk, you can dance. If you can talk, you can sing.’” The band Front Country will also perform Saturday. This bluegrass band comes from San Francisco where all six members met. One member, Jacob Groopman, said that after they won the RockyGrass band competition last summer they decided to become a real band. “We are a progressive bluegrass band, playing bluegrass, Americana, folk stuff and some covers,” Groopman said. “It’s a pretty eclectic group of songs.”
Groopman had heard that Moscow was a pretty cool area and Lesko offered them a great opportunity in getting the Californian band here. “We’re excited to come up there and put on a whole performance,” Groopman said. The final act on Saturday night will be a fire dance put on by the Spectrum dance studio. According to Shelly Werner, Spectrum Dance Studio teacher, the fire dance is actually poi spinning. The art originated within the Maori tribes of New Zealand, said experienced poi spinner Dane Mills. The Maori used poi, which is both a ball on a cord or chain, to develop flexible wrists among warriors, Mills said. Fire was not introduced into poi prior to the 20th century, when a MaoriAmerican,Freddie Letuli, decided to set his spinning knives
on fire before a performance, Mills said. “Fire dancing became a big hit in Hawaii at luaus for tourists,” Mills said. “There are now hundreds of troupes all over America specializing in different forms.” Not only will there be live fire, but one of the parts of this fire set will use something called glow poi. Werner said the glow poi will be performed by her contemporary dance class and will be choreographed to a French song. The Moscow Renaissance Fair may not be traditional, but it is a celebration of spring, art and food. All events are free to attend. “The Renaissance fair is good, because it brings people together for food, dance and fun,” Kittell said. Claire Whitley can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
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the argonaut
Finals countdown
The bristle-cone pine, which grows in the deserts of Nevada and California, is the oldest living species in the United States. Some are believed to be 4600 years old and can live to be 5500 years old. A two-mile thick dome of glacial ice covers most of Greenland. The weight of the ice is so great that if it suddenly melted the bedrock of the island would rise 2500 feet. A lightning bolt is five times hotter than the sun.
Friday Factoids
5.2.14
Mad libs for the average college student
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Global pasta
Pick your pasta Preferred pastas based on a survey from the National Pasta Association
25% Other 40% Spaghetti
3% Elbow 3% Linguine
6% Mac& Cheese
2% Angel hair 3% Pasta salad e
People eat pasta all across the globe. The origins of pasta is murky and varies in different cultures. According to the National Pasta Association, the Italian merchant traveler Marco Polo introduced pasta to Italy when he found it in the late 13th century in far Eastern countries. However, the Etruscan tombs showed people making food that looked like pasta in 4th century B.C. and the Chinese were making a similar food around 3,000 B.C. Part of the art in cooking with pasta involves the different shapes and flavors blended with a particular kind of sauce and additional ingredients, according to chef Geoge Skandalos of Maialina Pizzaeria Napoletara. “For me, what I tried to do is basically when I get ingredients — now I have a bunch of spinach so we’re making
spinach pasta with it — I just take whatever ingredient is that I have and try to present it in the way that it’s going to be able to speak for itself,” the Maialina Pizzeria Napoletana Skandolos said. Pasta is popular around the world, due to its varieties of flavors and shapes. Skandolos said the restaurant changes the flavors of pasta regularly. The National Pasta Association has listed the different pasta flavors, shapes and the most popular pasta dishes. Skandolos said there is always biases on the taste, so he doesn’t necessarily take into account of what people in Moscow are after. “I just think if I do my job correctly, I take the ingredients and I season it properly, season it well, I think that’s going to appeal to most people here,” Skandolos said. Chin-Lun Hsu can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
Fe 6% ttu cc in
chin-lun hsu rawr
Pasta comes in all varieties from different countries, ingredients and chefs
12% lasagna
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5.2.14
The quest for drinking water aleya ericson rawr
When it isn’t contaminated with chlorine, the metallic aftertaste of the tap water in Moscow makes you wonder if it is the secret to becoming a mutant ninja turtle. However, before you leap into the steam tunnels after dawning an eye mask and colorful katanas, attempt these 25 simple steps to obtain a perfect glass of water. 1. Attempt to drink the water on the University of Idaho campus. After all, it can’t be that bad. It must be something that students blow way out of proportion to have an excuse to whine about, much like eating at Bob’s. Right? 2. Well, the water is pink and makes a purring noise coming out of the water fountain. Better have a friend drink from the fountain first, just to be safe. 3. Now your friend is a neon pink ninja turtle and you are still thirsty. On the plus side, your friend, Donatella, will make an awesome traveling companion. It’s Adventure Time! 4. Better go to the store and buy bottled water. Oh no … it cannot be … you only left your car for two minutes.
5. SIDEQUEST: You versus UI Parking and Transportation Services
6. Despite abandoning your car for an infinitesimally small amount of time, you have accrued a parking ticket. Curse your luck, scream to the heavens and vow eternal vengeance against those invisible elves employed by UI who managed to slip in so quickly and bless you with a parking ticket. 7. The only option is to cast the ticket into the fire from whence it came. Gather your turtle and the guy dressed as a wizard from across the hall and set off to Mount Doom … err the PTS building. 8. After a grueling 15-minute journey that resulted in lust, wondering why you visited the student rec center so few times and cannibalism — wizards
continue on.
18. QUEST COMPLETE: Curiously, the attempted worm mauling was just as the old gypsy woman foretold. 19. You are almost there. The glorious Fountain of Water, located directly across from the Fountain of Youth and two clicks from the Fountain of Doritos, promises to be directly over the next hillside. As you stop to ponder the glorious sunrise from Moscow Mountain, you hear a low roar emanating from a cave near the peak. Oh crap …
20. BOSS BATTLE: You versus Daug illustration by shane wellner | rawr
are surprisingly tasty — you arrive. Fearless of the impending shame and glares of your comrades, you kick in the front door like Neo — except better since you have a 6-foot-2 pink turtle instead of Trinity. 9. As you storm towards the front desk in your sweet knee-high black boots, you overhear someone say, “I’m sure glad you can pay parking tickets online.” Wait, that’s a thing?
10. SIDEQUEST COMPLETE: Fortunately, you own a computer.
11. Alright, you made it to WinCo. Time to get your drink on. Wait, why is the bottled water pink? If you listen close, you can hear the contented purring of a cat. Surely, the expensive water made from the tears of unicorns isn’t really just bottled UI tap water? Wow, that must be easy to make. 12. All options for water may seem gone now, but fret not. Most bottled water has pictures of cartoon mountains, magical springs and forests — so it stands to reason that the peak of Moscow Mountain has a vast, untapped supply of water. Time to grab a pickaxe and rope and get on your best
yodeling voice. 13. It’s been a full 30 minutes and you are exhausted. If only instead of finishing that last season of “Game of Thrones,” you had bothered to learn anything about mountain climbing. However, the fact that you are bravely yodeling Katy Perry’s “Dark Horse” at the top of your lungs will deter potential evildoers. Unfortunately, it turns out that not everyone appreciates a good yodel. 14. Suddenly, a tiny rumble comes from beneath your feet. Much to your horror, a group of small monstrosities lie in front of you.
15. SIDEQUEST: You versus the giant Palouse earthworm
16. For something that is endangered, difficult for scientists to locate and has the word giant in its name, you expected the worm to be much larger and menacing. But alas, one of the worms is only a foot long and smells like lilies. 17. Using a stick, push the pool of worms gently out of your path. Grab one to use in your dorm as the world’s grossest air freshener and ponder how you managed to act as a pied piper to worms by yodeling. Continue on young adventurer,
21. You watched “The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug” and learned why Smaug the dragon was feared by the dwarves. But you were never expected that Smaug’s hipster cousin, Daug, lived in Moscow Mountain. As you run away from the incoming wall of fire, consider the absurdity of a flame-breathing dragon with a mustache and glasses. 22. Hipster dragons may be unexpected, but fortunately hours of Internet use has prepared you for this exact moment. As you run, mock the dragon using a barrage of memes and uninspired jokes. 23. The dragon slinks back to his cave in embarrassment
24. VICTORY: You shamed the dragon!
25. You are free to continue to the peak of the mountain and quench your thirst. But alas, as you turn the corner, there is no fountain. It turns out that the Fountain of Water is just an urban legend told to Vandal Friday attendees to convince them to attend UI. 26. Fortunately, there is snow on the mountaintop. Gather the snow and return to Moscow. As it melts, you finally have clean drinking water. Look forward to doing this everyday as long as you live in Moscow. Aleya Ericson can be reached at arg-arts@uidaho.edu
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event calendar Friday, May 2 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. – “American Hustle” presented by Vandal Entertainment in the SUB Borah Theater 7 p.m. – Natalie Diaz reading at BookPeople of Moscow 7:30 p.m. – Megan Hubbell on the piano at the Haddock Performance Hall 7:30 p.m. – “The Cherry Orchard” by Anton Chekhov at the Hartung Theater 7:30 p.m. – Moscow Community Theatre presents “Arsenic and Old Lace” at the Kenworthy
Saturday, May 3 1 p.m. – Shoko Nelson on the piano at the Haddock Performance Hall 4 p.m. – Jeff Samson on percussion at the Haddock Performance Hall 7:30 p.m. – Moscow Community Theatre presents “Arsenic and Old Lace” at the Kenworthy 7:30 p.m. – “The Cherry Orchard” by Anton Chekhov at the Hartung Theater 8 p.m. - “American Hustle” presented by Vandal Entertainment in the SUB Borah Theater
Sunday, May 4 2 p.m. – “The Cherry Orchard” by Anton Chekhov at the Hartung Theater 2 p.m. – Moscow Community Theatre presents
“Arsenic and Old Lace” at the Kenworthy 3 p.m. – “American Hustle” presented by Vandal Entertainment in the SUB Borah Theater
Monday, May 5 7 p.m. – Moscow Food Coop presents “Trashed” at the Kenworthy
Tuesday, May 6 5 p.m. – Nerd Tuesdays at Safari Pearl Comics on 3rd Street in Downtown Moscow 7 p.m. – Palouse Clearwater Environmental Institute presents “Project Wild Thing” at the Kenworthy 7:30 p.m. – University Orchestra at the Administration Auditorium
Wednesday, May 7 12:30 p.m. – Daytime Distractions at the Idaho Commons Food Court 4 p.m. – Intramural Championship Social at the Student Recreation Center 7:30 p.m. – Student Composers Concert at the Haddock Performance Hall 9 p.m. - Women’s climbing night at the Student Recreation Center
Thursday, May 8 12:30 p.m.- Lavender Lunch in TLC 229 7 p.m. – Finals Fest 2014: Grouplove at the UI Kibbie Dome
“mawkish” RtDhe O W of EK
WE
illustration by jesse keener | rawr
adjective: nauseating; having a nauseating or disgusting taste or smell; tasting sickly or insipid
My breakfast before taking a final test is always mawkish because my nerves are out of control.
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SOAK UP THE SUN! STUDY OUTSIDE OF THE COMMONS Idaho Commons: 885 . 2667 info@uidaho.edu
Student Union: 885 . 4636 www.sub.uidaho.edu