July 2012

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y o u r

c e n t r a l

v a l l e y

f a m i l y

r e s o u r c e

20 Y L JU

Safety

Be Smart About Fireworks

Positive Parenting

The Right Way to Communicate

Behavior

Does Birth Order Really Matter?

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EDITOR’S LETTER

Raising Kids?

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s the mother of two children and a stepmother to three, there have been many proud moments. Just the other day someone said the kindest words about my oldest daughter (26), and it brought happy tears to my eyes. It seems those proud mama feelings continue even into our children’s adult lives.

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But I won’t deny … along with the ups of parenthood, there have been downs. Every parent, if honest, has moments of wondering if they are really cut out for parenthood, and count the days until the “terrible twos”, “defiant threes”, and “disrespectful teens” are nothing but memories. The good news is the up moments certainly outweigh the down, and being a parent provides the most loving, longterm relationships we have on earth. Raising children has never been easy as each generation comes with new issues, new changes in cultures and risks – like cell phones and texting. I’m sure my grandmother thought the same thing about cordless telephones, as it wasn’t unusual to slip into the pantry for a private call. Now, just about every child over the age of 10 has a cell phone, providing both security and hazard. District Attorney Phil Cline talks about the more common than we realize habit of teens and sexting, the practice of sending risqué photos and messages by way of cell phone. Starting on page 5, read what he has to say about limiting the risks and teaching kids about making outright bad decisions. With 4th of July upon us, fireworks abound and can be extremely dangerous if not handled properly. Visalia Police Sergeant Amy Watkins walks us through some basic safety principles starting on page 17, so we all can enjoy celebrating Independence Day. Kids love to watch things grow, and there’s not a much better bonding experience than parent and child planting a garden. It’s one of the first experiences a child will have in the tender care and nurturing of a living thing. Although it’s still summer, fall will be here before we know it. Master Gardener Susan Schieferle gives tips on how to get a pumpkin patch started on page 12, just in time for JackO-Lanterns in October. With school officially out for the summer, chances are you’re looking for places to go and things to do. Raise is the Central Valley’s resource for the best in fun and educational experiences. Uncover these adventures and outings on pages 20 & 21. The staff at Raise has enjoyed working on this issue, and we wish everyone a Happy 4th of July. We’ll be back in August with more information and tips on raising kids in the Central Valley.

Karen Tellalian, EXECUTIVE EDITOR For more information or to submit a story idea, email Karen@dmiagency.com or call (559) 739-1747 or fax (559) 738-0909.

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0 Y 2 JUL

Positive Parenting

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PUBLISHED BY DMI Agency 801 W. Main St. Visalia, CA 93291

The Right Way to Communicate

EDITORIAL Executive Editor Karen Tellalian Assistant Editor TAYLOR VAUGHN Content Editor Kyndal Kennedy ART & PRODUCTION Art Director ROSS Yukawa

in this issue

Senior Graphic Designer CHRIS BLY BUSINESS MANAGEMENT Malkasian Accountancy LLP Gary Malkasian CPA JEFFREY Malkasian EA

5

Technology

11 Dental Health

Smart Phone, Stupid Choices: Sexting

18 Kids’ Adventures

6

Humor

20 Calendar

The Trial of the Trails

8 Nutrition

Make Fruit and Veggies Fun

10 Behavior

Does Birth Order Really Matter?

23 Resources

Operations Manager Maria Gaston ADVERTISING SALES Advertising Director Bridget Elmore SALES OFFICE 801 W. Main St. Visalia, CA 93291 559.739.1747 • Fax 559.738.0909

VIEW THE MAG ONLINE! issuu.com/dmiagency

12 Gardening

Pumpkins in July

16 Education

What is Educational Therapy?

17 Safety

Be Smart About Fireworks

22 Family Law

Stay Out of Court

Facebook.com/RaiseMagazine

Cover photo by Elly Jo Photography Raise Magazine is distributed in Visalia, Exeter, Woodlake and Tulare. If you would like copies available at your business, call 559.739.1747 Raise Magazine is published 12 times a year and distributed at hightraffic locations in the South Valley Area. For a list of locations, call the DMI Agency office. Views expressed in columns are those of the columnist and not necessarily those of DMI Agency or its advertisers. © 2012 DMI Agency

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TECHNOLOGY

Smart Phone, Stupid Choices:

SEXTING Text by Phil Cline, District Attorney

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hy did you buy your child a cell phone? My guess is you wanted him or her to be able to reach you in an emergency. Security and convenience of communication outweighed the risks associated with putting powerful technology in your child’s hands. I am certain you have had discussions with your children about the dangers and legal ramifications of texting or talking on a cell phone while driving, but have you discussed other more insidious risks associated with cell phone use, such as sexting and exchanging provocative photos? Sexting is a shorthand term for sending sexually risqué messages via cell phone. The act of typing and sending a graphic message or photo takes seconds. It doesn’t require paper, pen, an envelope, or a trip to the post office to purchase stamps. It’s the instant gratification communication that aligns itself perfectly with the risk-adverse teenage brain. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com conducted a survey of 653 teenagers to learn the extent of their sexually suggestive texts and messages. 22 percent of girls said they had posted or sent a revealing photo or video. Forty-eight percent of teenagers admitted to receiving suggestive texts. Thirty-seven percent of girls and 40 percent of boys say they have sent a suggestive message. Whether we are at home, at work, or at school, it appears as though whatever communication is being transmitted through an electronic message is far more interesting than what is happening among live human beings. We’ve grown accustomed to seeing the top of someone’s head as they are bent over their phone, furiously stamping out a message with their thumbs and we’re adapting to the concept of being “alone together.” This isolated environment can become problematic for teenagers. If the parent does not know about a situation, he or she cannot intervene, monitor, or advise the teenager. Do you remember the days of one landline telephone, attached to the wall in the kitchen? A parent had the ability to monitor at least half of a conversation, know who was calling at 1 a.m., and observe the impact of the conversation on the child. Now children can receive communications all hours of

the day and night, what percentage of those missives is dangerous and how would you know? In this electronic age, we’ve come to expect fast answers. This type of pressure is heightened in teenage dating relationships. If a boy is cajoling, demanding, and pressuring a girl for a revealing photograph, she may feel she must instantly respond. This is due, in part, to the nature of just pressing the send button without thinking, but also due to the imbalance of power in the relationship. If she sends the photo and the boy then passes it along to his friends, there may be legal ramifications for the boy and the girl is irrevocably damaged. Part of growing up is both making and avoiding dumb decisions. As your District Attorney, I deal every day with the consequences of people’s behaviors. It is absolutely incumbent for all of us to engage young people in face-to-face conversations, to ask questions, dispense hard-won advice, and teach them patience, restraint, modesty, and common sense. Here are a few conversation starters for you and your family: • Do not assume any communication (photos or text) sent via a phone or computer is private. • Online or cell phone transactions can leave an electronic trail and history, meaning hitting the delete button may not permanently erase the matter. • Resist pressure to do something which makes you uncomfortable. • Although your teenager may be more tech savvy than you are, as the person who pays that cell phone bill, and as a parent, you have the authority to set boundaries. • Does your child need Internet access on their cell phone? If the goal of the cell phone was to communicate with you – why do they need the Internet as well? In our next conversation, I will be addressing the phenomena of “flash mobs” and how social media is used to create a “happening” in the community.

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HUMOR

The

Trials Trails of the

Text by Crystal R. R. Edwards

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love summer activities. Nothing trips my trigger like a good sweaty hike with a swim in a lake afterward. Setting up a tent and a logical camp site stretches part of my cramped and crabbed soul that nothing else can touch. Give me a fishing pole and I’ll consider us nearly engaged; throw some hand-crafted fly lures into the deal and I’ll be your slave for life, unless the bass and trout are biting. At that point you’re on your own for a while. I’ll be busy. I’ve been an outdoorsy tomboy my whole life. I learned early how to gear up and stay safe, but when Birdie Sue was born I suddenly stopped. I thought my days of adventuring were over. I was afraid for her safety because, let’s face it, there’s a lot of dangerous stuff out there and kids aren’t really the brightest creatures on the planet when it comes to things like “don’t eat poisonous plants” and “if it’s moving and shaking a tail rattle at you, it’s not a stick you can pick up.” I have since discovered that throwing kids into the mix just made it more entertaining for me. Over the years I’ve developed a list of safety tips and must-haves for outdoor activities with children. I offer my knowledge to you freely in hopes you and yours will have a glorious summer full of adventure. Print this list out and keep it handy. Assemble a First-Aid kit. There’s no such thing as overpacking when it comes to First-Aid. There is a cosmic law that the more you shove in that little red kit, the less you’ll need it. If you only pack five Band Aids, I can guarantee you’re going to need fifteen on the first day out. Load up on burn

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cream, antiseptic spray, and gauze. Forgot the tweezers? You’re just asking for a karmic smackdown. Nothing on Earth is so constant and penetrating as the whining of a three-year old child with a splinter. To get away from it, you’ll beg to be eaten by the first bear you meet on the trail. Pay attention to weather patterns. “Eyes on the skies so nobody dies” is the motto. (You may have to rephrase it a bit so as not to freak the kids out. Then again, fear is a great motivator.) Don’t set out on a long hike when dark clouds are gathering, and make sure your gear is stowed and battened down against high winds. If the kids are really small, you may need to tie them down, too, so they don’t go tumbling down the exit trail during a gust. Make sure to assign storm duties for tasks like stowage, powered flashlights, and whose turn it is to bungee the baby to a boulder. Use the buddy system. Whether you need an off-trail potty stop or you’re simply in search of a good marshmallow stick, bring along a walking partner. Through years of evolution we’ve lost our ability to sense danger in the natural world, so we often bumble right into the thick of a rattlesnake rodeo or off the edge of a cliff before we even realize we need to be worried. Your partner can then go back to the rest of the group and call dibbies on your extra pair of hiking socks. Oh, and also maybe send for help, unless of course your socks are the last dry pair in the camp. If they are, you’re a goner. Avoid dehydration. Always bring in more water than you think you’re going to need. Four quarts per adult per day is the rule, and to be safe three quarts per kid per day is recommended. Don’t fret about too much water making the kids have to squat in the weeds more often. You can deny them fluids for three weeks before your trip and they’ll end up with a full bladder anyway. No child can resist this charming aspect of camping and hiking. No child can aim well either, so you may need to bring extra shoes and socks. Just sayin’. Insects are not trivial. Ticks, mosquitoes, bees, fire ants and spiders are just some of the many-legged dangers your stalwart little trailpuppies will encounter. Treat each bug bite as a serious threat. Make sure to have Benedryl Gel or other antihistamine/analgesic in your First-Aid kit to reduce swelling, deaden the pain of the sting, and make it obvious to your screaming, panicking child that Something Is Being Done To Fix The Problem. The smellier the medicine the better, since it’s a proven fact that children cannot holler while inhaling the alcohol fumes from a topical bite treatment. They become so busy sniffing their wound that they lapse into complete silence. You’ll wonder if they’ve fallen off the trail. You may or may not choose to turn around and check that out, depending on if the kid has been a particular problem during the outing.


HUMOR

File a trail plan with the park ranger or give a copy to a friend. Getting lost on a hike is always a possibility, so make sure authorities are aware your little tribe is wandering around out there somewhere. Schedule a check-in with friends back home as well. Make sure each backpack is supplied with a map with contact information included in case the group becomes separated. We did this the last time we went hiking and it was a life saver. When my three children met up back at the trail head and discovered I was gone they were able to alert a ranger. I was fine when the helicopter found me, but I had nearly emptied my flask of gin and tonic (malaria is a danger, but only to adults of legal drinking age). Left out there much longer, I’d have been in dire straits. It turns out there are no liquor stores in the middle of Daniel Boone National Park. Dire, dire straits indeed. Do not approach wild animals. Animals are cute but unpredictable. Disney has really done parents a disservice when it comes to this very important safety tip. Just try convincing a four-year old girl that the raccoon chirping and wobbling toward her is rabid instead of dancing and trying to sing to her and see how far you get. Don’t even get me started on the whole snake thing. The only instructive example I’ve found so far is The Jungle Book, and even that snake was funny and had a catchy song. If you find a bear, all bets are off. So there you have it, the tried-and-true safety system we implement on all our outings. Don’t let it frighten you. Children need to spend time roughing it. There is a lot they may learn from spending time out in the trees and on the trails. Some of it has to do with the whole circle of life blah-blah-blah, but mostly it’s about how to make a plan for the group’s safety and then fail to execute it on a grand scale.

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Happy camping!

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NUTRITION

Make Fruits and Veggies

FUN! Text by Justin and Rebecca Reynolds, Local Business Owners

S

ummertime is here, and with summer comes delicious fruits and veggies from our beautiful and bountiful Valley! Summer is a great time to enjoy healthy, inviting snacks for your little ones! It is possible to make fruits, veggies, lean protein and low-fat dairy products appealing to your kids, and when they taste great, it’s a win-win situation for mom and kids!

Fill up the fridge with containers of ready-made healthy snacks. Have three or four different easily accessable snack options available; giving your child choices makes them feel that they have control over what they are eating – let them be choosey! Instead of reaching for a bag of Doritos or a gummy snack (both full of sodium and sugar), grab a couple options from the fresh fruits and veggies you have resting in the fridge; sliced apples, orange slices, string cheese (great source of protein), melon, strawberries, cut-up carrots, sweet potatoes, and celery can become what your children desire if you present it to them in a positive way! Encouraging healthy eating can seem difficult, but it can be accomplished! Invite your children to help; keep them involved in the task of cutting up the snacks, creating kabobs with the fruit, or give them a plastic knife to help make ants-on-a-log (peanut butter and celery with raisins). They will enjoy watching a plate come to life with color, and they will probably snack along the way. If they are still struggling with the choices presented, entice their snack with a delicious dip; low-fat ranch dressing, nutritious hummus (another great form of protein) or a sweet, creamy dip like yogurt, or applesauce make for wonderful accompaniments to fruit and veggie spears. (Tip: cookie cutters are

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great for creating shapes in honeydew, cantaloupe, watermelon, cheese, pineapple, apples, and other fruits.) What are the benefits of fresh snacks? Have you ever heard, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away”? This idea can be used for many of the super-foods that come from our supermarket’s produce department. A diet rich in fruits and veggies can help ward off sicknesses, like colds and the flu, because of the immuneboosting antioxidants contained inside them. Antioxidants are vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients that protect and repair cells from damage caused by free radicals. Free radicals interfere with the immune system, so eating fruits and veggies helps keep the immune system strong! Some foods are higher in antioxidants than others. Betacarotene, Vitamin C and Vitamin E are the three major antioxidants found in colorful fruits and veggies. Beta-carotene rich foods include: apricots, broccoli, cantaloupe, carrots, corn, kale, mangoes, nectarines, peaches, squash, sweet potato, tomatoes and watermelon. Vitamin C rich foods include: berries, broccoli, cauliflower, honeydew, kiwi, nectarines, oranges, papaya, snow peas, strawberries, and tomatoes. Vitamin E rich foods include: broccoli, carrots, chard, mustard and turnip greens, nuts, papaya, pumpkin, red peppers, spinach and sunflower seeds. Make eating well an enjoyable habit. When your child screams, “Mommy, I’m hungry!” two hours before dinnertime, do not fear! You are armed and dangerous when it comes to instilling positive, healthy habits that everyone in your household will benefit from!


NUTRITION attention tulare county photographers

Raise Magazine is looking for cover photo submissions.

What kind of photos?

• Children (ages 5-15), or children with pet • Single children only; no group or family photos • Vertical format Please submit high-quality, electronic files only.

Email photos to Bridget@dmiagency.com (Photos are free to submit but submission does not guarantee placement.)

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BEHAVIOR

does birth order

Really Matter? Text by Barry Sommer, Licensed Educational Psychologist

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f you’re like most, you probably haven’t given much thought to birth order. But there is growing scientific evidence that birth order affects our personalities, our relationships, our world view and our behavior. Who among us hasn’t wondered how the kids we’ve raised almost identically to one another genetically could turn out so dramatically dissimilar in tastes, abilities, and personality. Along with temperament, biology, and life experiences, birth order clearly influences how children grow and the adults they become. Birth order has been studied for centuries. There are many people researching birth order effects. However, other factors, including culture and personality make it a difficult behavioral science to study. Most recently, of the over 6500 studies available, larger families have been carefully studied and we know that there are clear connections between birth order, personality and intelligence. Firstborns are often natural leaders, used to being the center of attention. They are found to be conservative, cautious, and conforming, believers in authority, eager to please adults, and strive for perfection. They are scholarly, have higher IQ’s and are more often college graduates. Almost all of our presidents were firstborn and all the astronauts in NASA’s space program who’ve traveled to space have been firstborns. Two thirds of the entrepreneurs in the United States are firstborn children. An only child is a firstborn in triplicate. They are even more responsible and even bigger perfectionists. They usually get along better with people older than themselves. Only children are often described as “super” firstborns. Parents can help their firstborns by teaching and modeling how to set limits and say no, and by helping them learn to cope successfully with frustration and failure. Firstborns benefit by developing their sense of humor, because they’re often serious and driven. Middle children are often “squeezed’ between an ambitious older sibling and a precocious younger one. Many times, middle children look for acceptance and recognition among peers instead of family.

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They may experience feelings of neglect from their parents because their siblings’ strong personalities demand attention. They often feel life is unfair, possessing neither the rights of oldest nor privileges of youngest. They may strive to compete with number one and become discouraged. Yet middle children are adaptable and often independent. They are frequently excellent negotiators and peacemakers. Middle kids never received the full, undivided attention of their parents. They always competed with an older, more developed and competent sibling. On the other hand, parents may be more experienced and have more realistic expectations. Middle children tend to avoid sharing how they really feel. Although it’s important to set aside time to talk to all of your children, it’s particularly important to make this happen with the middle children because they are least likely to insist on their fair share of time. Empower your middle child and make them feel special by giving them choices such as who gets to bowl first or what the family will eat for dessert. This will help alleviate feelings of always being overshadowed by older and younger siblings. The youngest child is often fun-loving, outgoing, sociable, and a great entertainer. They are affectionate, caring, charming and manipulative, self-centered and sometimes a bit absent-minded, and knowing no boundaries. They enjoy the position as the “baby” and the center of attention. They can be fearless. Helping the last born learn to accept responsibility and think about others is a loving gift. Helping them show appreciation for others and moving towards independence frees them from their tendency towards dependence and builds responsibility. Statistics show the lastborn is least likely to be disciplined and the least likely to have to toe the mark the way the older children did. There are clear limits to birth order studies. Witness the case of twins, or the impact of gender, culture, and large gaps in age between some siblings. Independent of how well these characteristics fit in your family, all children need to be treated differently based on their strengths and needs.


DENTAL HEALTH

Periodontal (Gum) Disease and Implications Text by Mariya Grigoryan, D.M.D.

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eriodontal disease involves inflammation and infection that destroys the supporting structures of teeth; effects of the disease are on the bone, ligaments, and gum tissue. Early disease symptoms are often mild, and many people are not aware of their condition until it becomes more serious. Plaque is a sticky substance made of bacteria, mucus and food. Over time, plaque can harden (calculus) and become attached at the base of the tooth. It can lead to inflamed and infected gums known as Gingivitis (a form of periodontal disease). Left untreated, the disease may progress into deep pockets and bone reabsorbtion. Over time, the bone, gums and tissue are destroyed. Swollen, red, bleeding gums, bad breath, tender or painful gums, gaps, loose teeth, and teeth alignment changes are all symptoms of periodontal disease. Periodontal disease is associated with preterm birth, underweight babies, heart disease, and stroke. Periodontal disease-causing bacteria releases toxins into the woman’s blood-stream that reach the placenta and interfere with fetal development. In addition, the infection stimulates the woman’s body to produce inflammatory chemicals that

can cause preterm birth. At the same time, these bacteria can effect the heart by contributing clot formations in the hearts blood vessels. Clots can lead to heart disease and stroke. Treatment of the disease in men and pregnant women will decrease the chances of these complications. Treatment is safe and effective. SRP (deep cleanings), antibiotic treatments, and laser treatments can be used to treat the disease process. SRP is the common first step in addressing a periodontal problem; it mechanically removes debris from tooth surfaces. Prevention is the key for long-term success. Good oral hygiene is the best prevention against the plaque formation that induces the disease. Teeth should be brushed at least twice a day for two minutes, and flossed gently at least once. Regular professional teeth cleaning is important to remove plaque or calculus that may have developed. Many dentists recommend having the teeth professionally cleaned at least every six months.

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GARDENING

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GARDENING

PUMPKINS in July! Text by Susan Schieferle, Master Gardener, University of California Cooperative Extension

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umpkin seeds are planted in June or early July for October harvest. Can you think of anything more fun than your children harvesting their very own pumpkins? Pumpkin seeds LOVE hot climates like we have in Tulare County. Here is what to do:

What to Plant (three popular varieties): 1. Jack-Be-Little: Pumpkins are 3 x 2” at harvest. The vines are

only 10-15 feet long, not as long as other pumpkin varieties. Maturity, or harvest, occurs in about 95 days. Plan on 6-12 mini pumpkins per plant. 2. Small Sugar: Pumpkins are 5-8 pounds each, with longer vines. Harvest occurs at 100-105 days. Plan on 2-3 pumpkins per plant. 3. Jack O’ Lantern: Pumpkins are quite large at 18-24 pounds, a perfect carving size. Harvest occurs at 110 days. Plan on 1-2 pumpkins per plant. Where to Plant:

Most pumpkin plants need an incredible amount of space for their vines to grow in. A suggested growing area is 20 square feet for each plant. Pumpkin vines can be twined alongside a fence, beside a driveway, across the back of a flower bed, or even twined around the outside of a basketball court (watch out for the bouncing balls!). You will be able to gently guide the vines anyway you would like.

How to Plant:

1. In the one-square-foot area you have designated, plant seeds

directly into native soil or use a vegetable planting soil from your local nursery. You also could use a 5-10 gallon plastic container with drainage holes. 2. Make a mound of soil for planting the seeds. In the mound, plant three pumpkin seeds about one inch deep and one inch apart to assure germination (growth) of at least one seed. If two or three seeds germinate, choose the healthiest looking seedling and pull out the others to insure one strong pumpkin plant. 3. Watering two times per day, morning and afternoon, will help your young seedling grow. As plant vines start to cover the soil surface, it is time to switch to deep watering every 5-7 days, letting the soil surface dry near the plant base between waterings. 4. If planting more than one pumpkin plant, space them 2-3 feet apart. 5. Fertilize monthly, with one tablespoon recommended vegetable fertilizer, raked into soil. If growing pumpkins in a container, dilute the fertilizer in two gallons of water and apply. 6. Bees visit the flowers and move the pollen from male flowers to female flowers, then pumpkins will start to form. Now the waiting comes! To make time pass quicker, have your child measure the growth of the vines weekly on a chart, which you could also transfer to a graph for some math practice. You could even make calendars and have your child (children) mark off each day closer to harvest. Have fun! July gardening tip: Keep insects off your vegetable plants. Use insecticidal soap to spray on the plants which is safe for our plants and environment.

Review from June: How is your milk jug pepper plant growing? Time to fertilize NOW! Use a fertilizer recommended for vegetables at your local nursery. One teaspoon around “the bowl” of the plant is recommended once monthly. Rake the fertilizer into the soil with a plastic fork, then water.

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POSITIVE PARENTING

the Right Way to

communicate Text by Children’s Services Network of Tulare County

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ommunicating with your child can be one of the most difficult parts of being a parent. There are times when it seems like you and your children are speaking totally different languages, and you wish that you could just read their minds to make communicating an easier process. Since that is not an option, here are a few strategies to help improve communication between you and your children: Keep it simple. Often, there can be a communication gap between children and parents for no other reason than the child doesn’t fully understand what the parent is saying or requesting. Use words and expressions that are age-appropriate. For example, a five-year-old should be spoken to using more simple language than you might use with a 13-year-old. Another thing to be aware of is that children, especially young ones, have short attention spans, and it can be difficult for them to stay focused on conversations for long periods of time. Try to keep requests and questions brief, and be as direct as possible. Set an example. One of the most effective ways to influence your child’s behavior is to set an example. Children observe and absorb your behavior, meaning they are likely to do what you do. If they see you communicating with other people respectfully, they will be more inclined to do the same. Maintaining eye contact with your child to show that you’re focused on him or her and not raising your voice are two simple things you can do to demonstrate how you would like your child to behave. Explain. When you tell your child to do something and the reason for doing it might not be obvious, take time to explain. For example, if you want your children to stop running in the house, explain that the reason for not running is to avoid tripping or running into something (or someone) and possibly hurting themselves. Michelle G. Winner, MA, a leader in the field of Social Skills, emphasizes that children will absorb information and respond better when they understand the reason why they must do things in a particular way. As a parent, you build credibility with your child when you support your requests with logical reasoning. Listen. Although listening may seem like a simple and obvious thing to do, all too often we find ourselves interrupting a child’s narration to interject our opinions, or even to give a lecture. Even though it’s unintentional, when this happens you stop listening to your child. Interrupting your children or not giving them your full attention may make them feel as if what they are saying is unimportant, and they may lose their desire to tell you about what’s going on in their lives. Make a conscious effort to let your child speak without interruption, and ask questions during natural breaks in the conversation, as you would when conversing with anyone else. This lets your child know that you were really listening to what was being said. Good communication is a vital part of building and maintaining healthy relationships, and is an important parenting skill. Take time to reflect on the ways you communicate with your child, and if you see room for improvement, take advantage of these tips to increase your communication skills. Most importantly, make the effort to spend quality time with your child. As a parent educator at the Woodlake Family Resource Center states: “Parent-child communication goes beyond words. We have to be good role models, good listeners, but most of all we have to be available.” For additional resources on positive parenting, please visit our website at TCCSN.org.

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POSITIVE PARENTING

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EDUCATION

Educational Therapy Text by Jeri Burzin, Board Certified Educational Therapist

What is Educational Therapy? ducational therapy offers a range of services designed to remediate learning challenges for both children and adults. It demystifies learning problems and stimulates a clients’ awareness of their strengths so they can use them to compensate for their difficulties. Educational therapists provide assessment, evaluation, and treatment, using information from many sources that may include the client’s social, emotional, psycho-educational, and neurological context. In addition, educational therapists serve as case managers to promote collaboration and help determine the need for other specialists. They will make appropriate referrals as necessary to other specialists, and work with parents to help them develop advocacy skills. A variety of challenges may be addressed, including learning disabilities, dyslexia, nonverbal learning disorders, reading, writing, math, study skills, and time management difficulties.

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Does your child need Educational Therapy? There are many scenarios that qualify for educational therapy. You may have had early indicators when your child was very young that included difficulty maintaining attention, staying on task, problems remembering, or delay in learning language. Or your adolescent may come home from school and say “I’m stupid” or “I hate school”. He or she may resist going to school and may take an extreme amount of time and support to complete homework. You may see poor achievement, discouragement, withdrawal, or behavior problems as well. Your child or adolescent may already have been identified as a struggling learner by school personnel; however, he or she may need additional individualized interventions beyond those now received. Or you may need assistance in interpreting reports and recommendations from various specialists who work with your child. If you are an adult, you may have difficulties with learning tasks in the workplace, and a need to compensate or camouflage struggles with reading and writing. Or you may have problems organizing tasks and managing time efficiently. It is not necessary to qualify as ‘learning disabled’; any and all of the above symptoms may indicate the need for evaluation, intervention, and additional support.


SAFETY

be smart about

Fireworks Text by Sergeant Amy Watkins, Visalia Police Department

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he Deceleration of Independence was signed by Congress on July 4, 1776, officially declaring the United States’ Independence from Great Britain. This day is celebrated every year in cities and towns across America. Associated with Independence Day are barbecues, family reunions, parades, carnivals, and everyone’s favorite…fireworks. People of all ages gather together in front yards and parks to demonstrate their amateur pyrotechnic skills in the name of patriotism. Fireworks provide breathtaking displays of glittering light, color, and sound. Fireworks are also extremely dangerous if not handled properly. Unfortunately, thousands of people end up in emergency rooms every

year for injuries, sometimes severe, caused by careless use of fireworks. The Fourth of July is also the busiest day for fire personnel as a result of fireworks igniting structures and vehicles. Young people are the most susceptible to common firework injuries. Injuries to hands, fingers, eyes, head, and face are the most common firework related injuries. “The natural predisposition for kids is to make the biggest bang in the most cleverly engineered ways possible,” said Dr. Tim Stout, an ophthalmologist with Oregon Health & Science University Hospital in Portland. “They try to set up big explosions, and those are the kinds that can cause serious injury.”

Following these easy safety tips will ensure your Independence Day celebration is independent of emergency rooms and emergency personnel. 1. Use fireworks outdoors only. 2. Obey local laws. If fireworks are not legal where you live, do not use them. 3. Always have water handy (a hose or bucket). 4. Only use fireworks as intended. Don’t try to alter them or combine them. 5. Never relight a “dud” firework. Wait 20 minutes and then soak it in a bucket of water. 6. Use common sense. Spectators should keep a safe distance from the shooter and the shooter should wear safety glasses. 7. Alcohol and fireworks do not mix. Have a “designated shooter.” 8. Only persons over the age of 12 should be allowed to handle sparklers of any type. 9. Do not ever use homemade fireworks of illegal explosives – they can kill you! Report illegal explosives to the fire or police department in your community.

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ADVENTURES

KidS’ Adventures Bicycling

Bring out the old beach cruiser, rode bike or mountain bike, and go for a ride with the family! There are many bike paths throughout Visalia to explore. In fact, Visalia Parks and Recreation has created a Bicycle Map indicating where each path is located. The map also designates the paths with different demarcations such as “bike paths”, “bike routes”, “shared use paths”, “shared use sidewalks”, and “bike rider recommended” routes. Each one of these has the capability of taking the rider to the very north, south, east, and west of the city. Many of these also take the rider through the numerous parks in town. Stop at one of the parks with a sack lunch and perhaps a baseball and glove to make for a fun and entertaining day! Simply fill up a backpack, grab a helmet, and hit the road. Remember to wear a helmet at all times while on your bike and mind the rules of the road. www.ci.visalia.ca.us/depts/parks_n_recreation waterways_n_trails_/

Museums

In these hot summer months another kind of adventure can take place in a climate controlled environment. The Tulare Historical Museum and Tulare County Museum are ripe with opportunities to discover the adventures of the people and events that make Tulare County what it is today. For just a few dollars, roam the galleries

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and rotating art exhibits with a trained docent who will share extraordinary stories about the history of Tulare. Uncover the lives of the Yokut Indians who first settled the land; the pioneer families who settled here on their move west; the “heroes” who brought fame and honor to our area; and the photographs, uniforms and artifacts of soldiers who defended their hometown throughout the rest of the country and abroad. Just a few miles south you can continue this historical adventure at the Tulare County Museum, located at Mooney Grove Park. This park encompasses the history of Tulare County, indoors and out. In existence since 1948, the museum features similar artifacts to the Tulare Historical Museum, including Yokut Indian artifacts and a pioneer collection, but also hosts exhibits focusing on the history of Visalia and history of the Union Pacific Railroad system. Although rafting down a river and scaling mountain sides is definitely a thrilling adventure, touring the museums in our home towns allows for an adventure of the mind and imagination – all the while keeping out of the summer heat. Tulare Historical Museum 444 W. Tulare Ave., Tulare 559-686-2074 www.tularehistoricalmuseum.org Tulare County Museum 27000 S. Mooney Blvd., Visalia 559-733-6616 www.tularecountyhistoricalsociety.org


ADVENTURES

Peña Planetarium

Sun, moon, earth, stars, planets, enchanted reefs, black holes; all are destinations for anyone looking for an adventure that truly is out of this world! Visalia’s very own Peña Planetarium at the Impact Center takes audience members to places you’d have to see to believe. And for only a few dollars a show, you can see visit them all. Although primarily a learning facility for students in Tulare County, the Planetarium is also opened up to the public a couple nights a month for “public shows.” These shows include themes ranging from the “Dawn of the Space Age,” to, “The Enchanted Reef,” and of course the, “Earth, Moon, and Sun,” in addition to many more exciting adventures. The Planetarium seats 70, so there is plenty of room to get groups together, big and small. Every show is appropriate and fun for both young and old members. Instead of a movie date with your kids, why not think outside of the box ... and universe ... and take in an even bigger screen at Pena Planetarium. 2500 W. Burrel Ave., Visalia 559-733-6433 http://www.tcoe.org/impactcenter/Planetarium.shtm

McDermont Field House

Lindsay, CA, is home to one of the most unique experiences around the Central Valley. The McDermont Field House is a renovated sports facility that was previously an abandoned orange packinghouse called McDermont Fruit Co. Growers and Shippers. The entire facility houses around 172,000 sq ft., offering attractions such as an indoor skate park, hippo water-slide, Flow-rider surf pool, rock climbing wall, laser tag arena, arcade, Lightspace dance floor, bounce houses, courts, a regulation sized indoor soccer field, and so much more! What’s more, it’s inexpensive to visit for a day! Children and adults have reign over many fun and exciting activities all in one place. McDermont is also home to sports and league play including wrestling, youth soccer, adult flag football, dodgeball, youth basketball, baseball, softball, cheer and many others. When you and your family have a free day to be active, have fun at the McDermont Field House – truly a one-stop shop destination for a great family-friendly time! 365 N. Sweet Brier Ave., Lindsay 559-562-3326 www.mcdermontfieldhouse.com

Horse Corral Pack Station

The Horse Corral Pack Station (HCPS), located within Sequoia National Park, just east of the Big Meadows campground, marks the starting point for a riding adventure up steep, dusty trails, splashing through streams, and rambling through wide-open meadows – all while taking in the majestic views from five feet above your normal vantage point. The adventure offered by HCPS is a great way for the entire family to experience the peacefulness of the great outdoors. The Extended Pack Trip provides horses, mules, and a guide; riders are to furnish their own food, cooking gear, and do the cooking. If you want a carefree, deluxe way of seeing the high-country, HCPS offers an all-inclusive trip that provides everything (even a personal chef) except personal items and sleeping bags. If your family is looking for a shorter trip through the woods, try the by-the-hour option – a great choice for those who want to connect with nature, without devoting an extended amount of time atop the furry four-legged transport. Children as old as seven are welcome on the rides. Owner Charley Mills calls it a “Family Fun Adventure!” Sequoia National Park 559-565-3404 www.highsierracpackers.org

Kayaking

When you make the drive to the coast this summer, be sure to make it a trip you and your family will never forget. Spend the day lounging on the beach, building sand castles, shopping, and take a ride on the adventurous side and slip into a small man-powered watercraft just inches above the oceans surface. Go kayaking! Kayak Horizons is one of the top kayaking experiences offered in Morro Bay. The employees and guides of this family-owned shop will have you completely outfitted and exploring the 15 miles of protected waters in the beautiful Morro Bay Estuary/Bird Sanctuary. Kayak Horizons offers several different options for new and experienced kayakers, individuals and groups. Kayak Horizons is capable of accommodating groups up to 60 persons so there is no reason not to make a kayaking trip part of your group’s plan. If you will be kayaking with 14 others or more, be sure to make your reservation early to book your spot on the water. 551 Embarcadero, Morro Bay 805-772-6444 www.kayakhorizons.com

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CALENDAR

july 2012 calendar of events 4 Exeter Fourth of July in the Park

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13 Dawn of the Space Age

Secret of the Cardboard Rocket

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14 Ronald McDonald House Charities Fun Run

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Summer Night Lights

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iCAN TRI

dates to remember

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Summer Night Lights

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CALENDAR Summer Children’s Art Classes 11 Secret of the Cardboard Rocket TCOE Theatre Company at Arts Visalia Climb aboard a magical cardboard rocket Presents Big River: The Arts Visalia is pleased to announce the with two young adventurers and experience Adventures of Huckleberry Finn return of their summer children’s art a breathtaking, up-close look at each of our Based on Mark Twain’s classic 1884 novel, program, with six weeks of classes offered Solar System’s planets with guidance from Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, it features in June and July. Subjects will range from their astronomy book. music in the bluegrass and country styles in basic drawing and painting to ceramics, When: Jul. 11, 2p & 3p keeping with the setting of the novel. papier mache and more. Where: Peña Planetarium, When: Jul 20 & 21, 26 – 28; When: Jun. 11 – Jul. 27. Full details on the 2500 W. Burrel Ave., Visalia Evenings at 7:30p, Matinees at 2p program and enrollment forms are available Contact: 737-6334 Where: L.J. Williams Theatre, on our website at www.artsvisalia.org. 1001 W. Main St., Visalia Exeter Movies in the Park Where: Arts Visalia, 214 E. Oak Ave.,Visalia Contact: Brian Roberts, brianr@tcoe.org or The Optimist Club of Exeter shows family Contact: 739-0905 651-1482 films at dusk every Wednesday in July at To Kill A Mockingbird Exeter City Park. Bring a blanket or chair 22 iCAN TRI Christopher Sergel’s adaptation of Harper and enjoy the night’s fun, family film. The 1st Annual iCAN TRI Youth Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird is a sensitive When: Jul. 11, 18, 25 Triathlon Event for youth ages 6 to 17. yet direct examination of racial and class Finisher medals will be given to each Where: Exeter City Park, distinctions in the South during The Great participant crossing the finish line. Chestnut and D Streets, Exeter Depression. Directed by Nancy Holley. Individual awards will be presented to the Contact: 592-2711 When: June 22–24, 29–30; Jul. 1, 6–8 top five finishers in each one-year age from Dawn of the Space Age 6 to 17 years as well as overall male and 13 Where: The Ice House Theatre, From the launch of the first artificial female finishers of each division. $40 by 410 E. Race Ave., Visalia satellite Sputnik to the magnificent lunar July 14; $50 after July 14 Contact: 734-3900 landings and privately-operated space When: Jul. 22, 7:30a 3 Kiwanis of Woodlake’s flights, you’ll be captivated by this most Where: Clovis North Educational Center, July 3rd Blast accurate historic reconstruction of Man’s 2770 E. International Ave. Fresno Celebrate Independence Day with games, first steps into space. Contact: www.iCANtri.org entertainment, food and drink, and a When: Jul. 13, 7p mobile blood drive. Kids events include Young At Art 2012 Where: Peña Planetarium, pony rides, flush tank, All Aboard Train Arts Visalia features artworks created by 2500 W. Burrel Ave., Visalia rides, and more! And of course a firework each and every student who participates Contact: 737-6334 show to end the night! $10 per car load. in its summer program. The Young At Art 14 Ronald McDonald House exhibit is one of the year’s most enjoyable When: Jul. 3, 6p Charities Fun Run exhibitions. Students, along with their Where: Twilight Park, Come support Ronald McDonald House families and friends, have the opportunity 1099 W. Ropes Ave., Woodlake Charities and get some exercise in too! You to see their artistic creations presented in a Contact: Laura, 679-4647 will get a quick breakfast, Ronald will get professional gallery setting. you warmed up, and sent on your way! Exeter Fourth of July in the Park 4 When: Aug. 1 – 31; Reception: Aug. 3, 6-8p There will be a post run celebration with Arts and crafts and food booths, live Where: Arts Visalia, 214 E. Oak Ave., Visalia concert, awards, and other festivities. entertainment and 10k run and 2mile walk. Contact: 739-0905 Fireworks display presented by the Lion’s When: Jul. 14, 7:30a registration; 8:15a 5K Club at Lions Stadium. run; 8:45 2K family walk Summer Night Lights A safe environment for youth of all ages, When: Jul. 4 Where: Mooney Grove Park, while aiming to curb violence and other 27000 S. Mooney Blvd., Visalia Where: Exeter City Park, negative activity. E Chestnut St. and S E St., Exeter Contact: 447-6793 or email Contact: www.stepuptc.com info@ronald-mcdonaldhouse.com Contact: 592-2919

Assessment. Evaluation. Instruction. 2924 West Main Street Visalia, CA 93291 559.967.8635 JERI BURZIN, MED, BCET Bd Certified Educational Therapist

jeriburzin@clearwire.net

www.jblearningtools.com

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FAMILY LAW

Stay Outof Court

Text by Joan A. Watters, Esq. Family Law Attorney

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f disputes arise in a divorce, or post judgment, that can not be resolved by simple negotiation, or with the help of a lawyer trained to assist in negotiations, options are available that empower you and allow you to avoid court. These dispute resolution options include private mediation, (as opposed to court mediation in a contested hearing), arbitration, and collaborative law. Last month private mediation was addressed as an alternate dispute resolution option for parents who need to resolve family law issues such as child custody, visitation and support, and who prefer to stay out of court. This month the focus is on a hybrid option called “med/arb.� While private mediation provides parties with a forum to negotiate settlement with a trained professional assisting them in resolution, arbitration provides the parties an opportunity to, essentially, choose their own private judge. Arbitration is a more formal proceeding as opposed to mediation. The arbitrator is selected to hear the matter, receive evidence, and decide a dispute. The ruling becomes binding on the parties. In a med/arb situation, the parties agree to begin with mediation, where every aspect of the proceeding is confidential and free of the restrictions imposed in court proceedings, and, in the event an issue can not be resolved by ultimate agreement,

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then the parties move to a more formal proceeding where the professional is authorized, by contract, to provide them with a binding ruling after they have presented their evidence. Some parties choose to begin in mediation mode and, if necessary, move on to binding arbitration with the same professional. Others choose to hire a separate professional for the arbitration phase if mediation fails and they have agreed to submit their issues to binding arbitration. The benefits of alternate dispute resolution, often successful, cannot be overstated. The parties remain in control of their case, in control of how their case will be handled, they select the individual mediator and/or arbitrator for their case and they schedule dates and times convenient for all. The parties are fully heard in a private forum they control, not limited to a 20-minute court hearing where sensitive issues are exposed in a crowded public courtroom. The whole process is completed in a comfortable setting. Upon resolution, the agreement and/or ruling will be lodged with the court for a judge’s review and approval. Once approved the parties have obtained a court order without ever stepping into a courtroom.


RESOURCES

important numbers at a glance: Fire & Police • Tulare County Fire Department, (559) 747-8233 • Visalia Fire Department, (559) 713-4266 • Tulare Fire Department, (559) 684-4300 • Exeter Fire Department, (559) 592-3714 • Woodlake Fire Department, (559) 564-2181 • Tulare County Sheriff’s Department, (559) 636-4625; (559) 733-6218 • Visalia Police Department (Non-Emergency), (559) 734-8116 • Visalia Police Department, Gang Suppression and Narcotics Unit, (anonymous tip hotline) 559-713-4737 • Tulare County - End Gang Hotline, (888) 363-4264 • Tulare Police Department, (559) 684-4238; (559) 686-3454 • Exeter Police Department, (559) 592-3103 • Woodlake Police Department, (559) 564-3325 • Kings & Tulare County California Highway Patrol, (559) 4415400

Medical • Kaweah Delta Medical Center, (559) 624-2000 Emergency Room, (559) 624-2213 • Visalia Walk-In Medical Clinic, (559) 627-5555 • Tulare Regional Medical Center, (559) 688-0821 • Tulare County Health and Human Services Agency, (559) 624-8000

Education • Tulare County Library, (559) 713-2700; www.tularecountylibrary.org • Tulare County Office of Education, (559) 733-6300; www.tcoe.org/index.shtm • Visalia Unified School District, (559) 730-7300; www.vusd.org • Tulare City School District, (559) 685-7200; www.tcsdk8.org • Exeter Union School District, (559) 592-9421; www.exeter.k12.ca.us • Woodlake Public Schools, (559) 564-8081; www.woodlakepublicschools.org

Add your numbers below

City Information • Tulare County website www.co.tulare.ca.us/default.asp • City of Visalia website www.ci.visalia.ca.us/default.asp • City of Tulare website www.ci.tulare.ca.us/ • City of Exeter website www.cityofexeter.com • City of Woodlake website www.cityofwoodlake.com • Visalia Parks & Recreation, (559) 713-4365

Other Important Numbers County & City • Tulare County Services - United Way, Dial 2-1-1, www.211ca.org • Delta Vector Control District, (559) 732-8606 www.deltavcd.com • Tulare & Kings Counties Suicide Prevention Task Force (Non-crisis), (559) 624-7471; www.sptf.org • Child Abuse Prevention Council, (559) 735-0456; www.tularecountycapc.org • Domestic Violence/ Shelters, (559) 732-5941; (559) 685-9515 www.fstc.net • Sexual Assault 24-hr Confidential Hotline, (559) 732-7273; www.fstc.net • Alcohol/ Drug Programs, (559) 733-6123 • Parenting Network, (559) 625-0384; www.parentingnetwork.org • Tulare-Kings Right To Life, (559) 732-5000; www.tkrl.org • The IRMA Network, (559) 732-5000; www.theirmanetwork.org • Latinos4Life, (559) 732-5000; www.latinos4life.org • Tulare County Animal Control, (559) 713-4957 • Visalia Animal Control, (559) 564-3346

Nationwide • American Association of Poison Control Centers, (800) 222-1222; www.aapcc.org • Center for Disease Control and Prevention, (800) 232-4636; www.cdc.gov • California Poison Control, (800) 222-1222; www.calpoison.org • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, (800) 273-8255; www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org • The Trevor Project (LGBTQ), (866) 488-7386; www.thetrevorproject.com • Child Abuse 24-hr Hotline, (800) 331-1585 • Missing Child Hotline, (800) 843-5678 • Road Conditions, (800) 427-7623

REMEMBER, WHEN IN DOUBT, DIAL

9-1-1

Add your numbers below

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BEING A KID IS AN IMPORTANT JOB. Right now, painting pictures is something he does for fun. Tomorrow, it might just be a hobby. But someday, it will be the thing he’s known for. And Children’s Hospital Central California wants him to get there. That’s why we have the best doctors and nurses trained to work specifically with kids, using the best equipment designed just for kids.

He may never need to go to the hospital. But if he does… Children’s stands ready to return him to the business of being a kid.

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ChildrensCentralCal.org


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