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C O N T E N T S 16/17
06/08/09/10: The Big List: A what’s on guide to Plymouth’s best venues, bars and clubs, written by Andrew Girdler 11: With the help of new contributor James MacGregor, Naomi Girdler showcases the best places to eat in Plymouth whatever the occasion.
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12/14/15: We’ve spent all summer hitting up some of the best local and national festivals, check out our BIG FESTIVAL REVIEWS starting on page 12 16/17: Editor Naomi Girdler has a chat with local cheeky chaps
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Patrons about their music, influences and what they think of the Plymouth scene and its musical exports 18: Local boys Sam Ratcliffe and Dan Hamlyn have set up their own screenprinting company, Il Pleut. PS talks to them about what they’ve been up to, their DIY ethics, what it’s like to work for themselves.
22/23 20: Editor Naomi Girdler catches up with Sara Baker, the brains behind the super cool fashion brand Rough Designs. Find out what inspires her psychedelic designs on page 20! 22/23:
24/25
In collaboration with Peace Vintage, resident
photographer Zuleika Fray Linstead is inspired by the movie Almost Famous in her latest fashion piece. 24/25: Finally, our first proper sports article! Brand new contributor James MacGregor gives us the lowdown on the local sports that Plymouth has to offer.
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26: There’s no better way to get acquainted with Plymouth cuisine than with a pasty. Andrew Girdler gives us some great recipes for meat eaters and veggies alike! 28: Racket from the Pit is back and Darren Johns tells us all about the best gigs he’s been to this summer.
29 28: In this issue, game reviewer Matt Girdler tells us all about Inside, a creepy 2D puzzle platformer with no dialogue! 28: Seth Haney brings us his favourites including current, classic and local - with this issue featuring noise makers WYFOFBATH
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and their new EP Technique 29: Those naughty little Dust Piggies are at it again... 30: PHD student and resident agony aunt Ellie tackles serious issues amongst some silly ones this issue RE-READ ALL OF YOUR FAVOURIT E ART ICLES ON
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editor’s letter
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Contact PS: 01752 424133 hello@ps-zine.com www.ps-zine.com
Hello! Welcome Freshers of 2016!
Published by Vivid Collective
Corr, you can tell the students are back. Retail outlets in the mall are packed to the brim with new students buying posters for their new rooms, £5 kettles from Wilkos and saving their extra pennies for late night boozing on North Hill. It’s nice to see so many new faces in this city, it’s easy to forget how busy this place gets when you’re used to the quiet of the summer!
Many thanks to all who’ve supported and contributed to PS Issue 16. Editor, Designer & Writer Naomi Girdler naomi@ps-zine.com
We’ve got a super exciting issue for you this year, with lovely local lads Patrons on our front cover this issue. You can find their interview on pages 16 and 17, they really are lovely boys and the music they make is definitely worth a listen.
Designer & Writer Andrew Girdler andrew@ps-zine.com
Then we have some more lovely local lads in the form of Il Pleut Screenprinting company, run by Sam Ratcliffe and Dan Hamlyn. We talk to them about their DIY ethos and why they decided to take the plunge into self employment! You can find them on page 18!
Contributors Darren Johns, Chris Muirhead, Danny Brooks, Mark Hoynes, Olly Reed, James Corby, Sam Ratcliffe, Daniel Hamlyn, Sara Baker, Zuleika FrayLinstead, James MacGregor, Matt Girdler, Seth Haney, Ellie Ward, Mike Bromage and the Dust Piggies.
We also talk to Sara Baker, who for the last few years has been designing clothes under the brand name Rough Designs. Featuring psychedelic geometric patterns inspired by anything from tree branches to brutalist architecture, Sara puts Black Milk Clothing to shame with her far out ideas and garments. Check out her wares on page 20! Plus there’s reviews, our BIG LIST, our BIG FESTIVAL REVIEWS and more! We spoil you really! Anyway, welcome to Plymouth and we hope you have a swell time studying here!
Advertising If you are interested in advertising in PS, please contact us at debbie@ps-zine.com or call 07811 343335
Naomi Girdler Editor
Printed by Newsquest Weymouth The views expressed in PS are not necessarily those of the publishers. Every effort is taken to ensure the accuracy of all information contained in this publication. However, the publishers do not accept any liability for any advice or information included in this publication.
Find us on Facebook www.facebook.com/ plymouthstudentmagazine Find us on Twitter www.twitter.com/PSzine Find us on Instagram www.instagram.com/ plymouthstudent
Patrons Photography by Zuleika Fray Linstead W W W.V I V I D C O L L E C T I V E . C O . U K
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the big list
THE BIG LIST Listings by Andrew Girdler
Summer is over! Nooo! But I’m sure
Sean Lock
there’s a lot of you fresh faced newbies to Plymouth this winter who want to know how to make the most out of your new city. From live music, to theatre, to comedy, to city events and more, there’s always something to do in Britain’s Ocean City. Keep your Fresher’s Edition of Plymouth Student close to hand this term, and don’t miss a thing! Visit our website for THE BIG LIST online!
September And Then Come The Nightjars 20 - 24 Sep Theatre Royal - The Drum South Devon, 2001. Jeff is a dairy vet with a problem. Michael is a cattle farmer – he is a problem. The two men have a begrudging respect for one another, usually expressed through a nip of whisky and some boisterous banter. But when Foot and Mouth sweeps across the UK countryside their friendship – and indeed their whole way of life – is thrown into question. Box Office 01752 267222 Al Murray: Let’s Go Backwards Together 24 Sep Theatre Royal - The Lyric Watch the one man who will answer the call of destiny even though it’s an unlisted number. Watch the one man who will call time on tyranny even though he isn’t quite sure what it means. Watch the one man who isn’t afraid to say no to women ordering anything other than a glass of white wine (or fruit based drink). Box Office 01752 267222 Josh Widdicombe - What Do I Do Now... 24 Sep Plymouth Pavilions Josh Widdicombe, that guy from the TV comedy shows with the curly hair, is back on the road with a brand new tour. Since he’s been away from stand up Josh has been working hard on other things but don’t worry in his spare time he has found a lot of minor things to get annoyed about, and now he has a chance to talk about them on stage (in the form of jokes). If you have seen him before live or on TV and enjoyed yourself then this is the show for you. If you didn’t like him then it probably isn’t. Box Office 0845 146 1460
The Duke 27 Sep - 01 Oct Theatre Royal - The Drum Funny, poignant and playful, The Duke weaves together the tragi-comic fate of a family heirloom – a porcelain figure of The Duke of Wellington, the quandary of a scriptwriter stretching his integrity, and an unfolding disaster as thousands of children flee their homes. Blending fantasy and reality, the show gently challenges our priorities in a wold full of crisis. Box Office 01752 267222 Cafe Acoustica Sep 28, Oct 12, 26, & Nov 9 B-Bar at the Barbican Theatre B-Bars fortnightly showcase of unplugged talent, hosted by singersongwriter Jessie Mullen. Details 01752 242021 Riorok Sep 29 B-Bar at the Barbican Theatre Riorok is a brazilian acoustic duo, formed by Hector Mazzotti and Sofia Mazzotti. A special night for B-Bar, playing only Brazilian music, with the greatest MPB artists, such as Marisa Monte, Djavan, Gilberto Gil, Capital Inicial, and many others. Details 01752 242021 Mungo’s Hi Fi 29 Sep The Hub / dbs Live Mungo’s Hi Fi are now renowned sound system champions who pull off that rare trick of making reggae/dancehall that is original and of quality. Working with too many names in the business to list and preforming at just about every festival across Europe with stacks of dubplates and brand new releases you know that when Mungo’s are in town the dance hall gets ram! Also performing are Parly B, Jman, and Born on Road. Details 07966 626490
Lateral DnB Birthday Bash 30 Sep Factory Nightclub As Lateral DnB turns 2 years old, Factory are proud to present Dispatch’s very own Amoss @ Factory with a 90 minute set! With a new album on the horizon, expect plenty of fresh cuts in the run up to this event. They also welcome the DnB Kitchen & High Rollers crews to lay it down big style! Details 01752 662346 One Love 30 Sep The Hub / dbs Live One Love returns to the Hub this September, this time featuring TQD, DJ Darko, FK Panda and many more. Details 07966 626490 Metropolis Swing Quartet Sep 30 B-Bar at the Barbican Theatre MSQ play a wide range of jazz and swing from the 1930’s through to the 1950’s and even into the 1960’s from Benny Goodman to Horace Silver and from George Gershwin to Cole Porter. Classic songs, big band numbers, small group swing and much more. There’s something for everyone to enjoy and new music to discover. A favourite of dancers and listeners alike, MSQ will definitely surprise and delight you whether you’re young or old, a jazz fan or not! Details 01752 242021 Sean Lock - Keep It Light 30 Sep Plymouth Pavilions Every three years the comedian Sean Lock writes and tours a new stand-up show. Well he’s only gone and done it again! What’s he like? Come and see what he’s blithering on about this time. ‘He just lets the brilliance of his material dominate the room’ - The Guardian. Box Office 0845 146 1460
October Devlin 01 Oct The Hub / dbs Live Leaving behind the material ramblings of an archetypal MC, listening to Devlin, you’re more likely to hear tales of conspiracy theories, politics and Pavarotti. A lover of Bob Marley, The Supremes and Bruce Springsteen, Devlin isn’t your average grime artist. The enigmatic, Dagenham born Devlin set the bar for a new generation of Grime music in 2006 with his underground classic, Tales from the Crypt. Details 07966 626490 Dan TDM On Tour 01 Oct Plymouth Pavilions For the first time ever, DanTDM, one of the world’s most famous YouTubers is going on tour! This Summer and Autumn Dan will visit a limited number of venues across the UK including Plymouth Pavilions, letting visitors come and take part in an online DanTDM adventure… in the real world! Box Office 0845 146 1460 The B-Bar Comedy Night Oct 5 & Nov 2 B-Bar at the Barbican Theatre Some light relief with the best stand-ups on the UK circuit. Comedy Night. Box Office 01752 242021 Rhymewarp 6 Oct B-Bar at the Barbican Theatre Comedy word-nerdiness, crackpot crowd participation and a platform for aspiring performance poets. You can expect wordy larks from host MC Vegas, emerging poets & wordsmiths, & crowdsourced tongue-tomfoolery. Details 01752 242021
Wind In The Willows 08 - 22 Oct Theatre Royal - The Lyric Kenneth Grahame’s wild tale about the thrill-seeking, lovable menace Mr Toad comes to life in a brand new stage musical with a book by Oscar-winning screenwriter and Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes and Olivier Award-winning composer and lyricist team George Stiles and Anthony Drewe. Box Office 01752 267222 Plymouth 10K 09 Oct Princess Street, Royal Parade Join 3000 runners from across the South West at this year’s Plymouth 10k, which takes place on Sunday 9th October! Take part in this year’s 10k race, whether it’s to set a new personal goal, to raise money for charity or take on the Corporate Challenge, sponsored by Wessex Reserve Forces’ & Cadets’ Association for a chance to win £250 for a charity of your choice. We Are Scientists 14 Oct The Hub / dbs Live Three piece premier funk band We Are Scientists are stopping off at the Hub for a show, promoting their new album Helter Seltzer. Details 07966 626490 Hot Club Of Stonehouse 14 Oct B-Bar at the Barbican Theatre Hot Club of Stonehouse bring the gypsy jazz of 1930s Paris bals musettes to present day Blighty. Sultry, insouciant & swinging, their authentic Hot Club sound is uniquely anointed with the balmy and incomparable vocals of the divine Miss Becky Brine. Details 01752 242021
the big list
VISIT THE THEATRE ROYAL THIS WINT ER! Heads Will Roll – a savage folly based on the myth of El Dorado is on stage at The Drum from October 6 to 22. A golden man wades into a lake and disappears, searching for forgiveness; a BBC TV executive flushes money down the toilet in her desperate quest for soap opera ratings and a Spanish conquistador crashes through the South American jungle convinced he will find a city where rivers run with gold. This new show from the insatiably curious Told by an Idiot is a dark epic comedy about delusion, vanity, and the corruption of power. Inspired by the historic search for El Dorado - the mythical city where rivers ran with gold - Heads Will Roll explores the quests we carry throughout our lives, even if our goals are out of reach. With live music from one of Barcelona's most unique musicians and an international cast, Heads Will Roll continues Told by an Idiot’s journey of creating the unexpected since 1993. For tickets and information visit www.theatreroyal.com Paines Plough & Live Theatre present Broken Biscuits at The Drum Theatre from Oct 25 to 29. The point is: we’re losers. Nobodies. Carry on like this, we’re losers forever. And we don’t have to be. Fresh start, two months to completely one hundred per cent reinvent ourselves. And I know exactly how we can do that.” Megan, Holly and Ben are definitely not the cool kids. But Megan has a plan. One long summer holiday to change their lives. One sure path to coolness. One amazing transformation, through the power of song. Holed up in Megan’s garden shed, three old friends try to change their fortunes in a beautiful, heartwarming, laugh-out-loud coming-of-age story for our times. Rock on. For tickets and information visit www.theatreroyal.com
BuBBles launderette 232 albert road, stoke tel: 563382 56 Wilton street, stoke tel: 562686
eight Eyez & Skinzmann 15 Oct Factory Nightclub Grime Scene #1 night at Factory, featuring Eyez, Skinzmann, Danka, Kreps, High Daniels, & more. Details 01752 662346 The Belle Adventure Oct 15 B-Bar at the Barbican Theatre The Belle Adventure tells a love story that weaves through Jazz, Blues, Country and Soul and visits songs from the 1930’s up to today. The style is elegant and playful, the sound both smooth and raucous. Featuring Si Holmes on guitar and vocals and the incredible vocal talent of Kate Somerset How, together they deliver a dynamic set that ranges from soulful to foot stomping and is guaranteed to get a room jumping. Box Office 01752 242021 Fred V & Grafix 15 Oct The Hub / dbs Live Unit 37 presents Fred V & Grafix with MC Carasel at The Hub. Also performing are DJ Darko, Emu, St Elmos Fire, & more. Details 07966 626490 Sixties Gold 15 Oct Plymouth Pavilions For lovers of Sixties music, this is the ultimate, and probably never to be repeated, line-up. Featuring from Liverpool, The Searchers’ first single also went to No. 1 and led to five more Top 5 hits and a total of 128 weeks in the charts. Brian Poole & The Tremeloes, the band that broke the Liverpool stranglehold and went on to have 21 hits that spent over 220 weeks in the UK charts. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Adam Hills 22 Oct Plymouth Pavilions Adam Hills has fast become one of the most popular comedians in the UK, with 15 solo shows that have toured internationally. His combination of positive, uplifting comedy and rampant spontaneity has seen him receive numerous awards, glowing reviews and a legion of fans around the world. Box Office 0845 146 1460
serVICe WasHes aVaIlaBle Monday to Friday 8.30am to 1pm selF serVICe WasHes 7 days per week 8.30am to 9pm last wash 8pm
BRB’s Shakespeare Triple Bill 25 - 26 Oct Theatre Royal - The Lyric Jessica Lang captures the poetry of the sonnets in Wink, a brand-new work for the Company. José Limón’s The Moor’s Pavane distils the passion and drama of Shakespeare’s Othello into a thrilling one-act tragedy, tightly focused on four characters and their jealousy. In The Dream, love gets out of hand for mortals and fairies alike in an elegant and witty distillation of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Box Office 01752 267222 BRB’s The Tempest 25 - 26 Oct Theatre Royal - The Lyric At once enchanting and elemental The Tempest is a powerful story of a man determined to right past wrongs by all means in his power. This creative collaboration with acclaimed composer Sally Beamish, and designer Rae Smith (The Prince of the Pagodas, War Horse) intertwines themes of love, loyalty, and loss, punctuated by a comic duo, more than one dastardly conspiracy and a spectacular danced masque featuring gods and spirits. Box Office 01752 267222 Jamie Lawson 27 Oct Plymouth Pavilions Currently mid-way through a sold out UK run of dates, Jamie Lawson has announced a huge 17 date autumn tour, including a date at London’s Brixton Academy on October 19th. The tour in October kicks off in Dublin on the 4th, and includes Glasgow’s Barrowlands on the 8th, Brixton Academy on the 19th and rounds off at Plymouth Pavilions on the 27th. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Queen Extravaganza 28 Oct Plymouth Pavilions Created and produced by Queen’s Roger Taylor, the Queen Extravaganza returns to the UK to play a special tour celebrating the 40th anniversary of Queen’s iconic album, ‘A Night At The Opera’. The 90-minute show, which kicks off in Plymouth on 28th October and tours the UK for dates across the country ending at London’s Eventim Apollo on 20th November, features Queen’s classic hits and some surprises for the true fans. Box Office 0845 146 1460
Bastille 29 Oct Plymouth Pavilions The London four-piece released their hugely anticipated second album, ‘Wild World’ on 9th September. The album follows the band’s global four million selling, multi-platinum debut, Bad Blood. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Counterparts 30 Nov The Underground Canadian band Counterparts stop at the Underground for their 2016 Europe Tour alongside Expire, Landscapes, & Knocked Loose. Details 07878 460500 Cornish Pro Wrestling Supershow 30 Oct Barbican Leisure Park Two top promotions in the South West, LEP Promotions Wrestling and Cornish Pro Wrestling, are coming together for the first time ever! Bringing you one of the greatest, and biggest nights of Professional Wrestling ever held in Plymouth. Eats Everything & Richy Ahmed 31 Oct Plymouth Pavilions Halloween beckons, and we have a night of scarily epic proportions to celebrate all that goes bump in the night! Featuring true Techno and House demons Eats Everything and Richy Ahmed, we’ll be rolling out a full night of spooky sounds, plus an incredible lights & decor show in the theme of the night - Carnival Of The Dead. Box Office 0845 146 1460
November The Lumineers 01 Nov Plymouth Pavilions Platinum selling Denver outfit, The Lumineers, announce their much anticipated UK and Ireland headline tour dates for October/November 2016. The Cleopatra World Tour continues in support of their number one selling sophomore album, ‘Cleopatra’. The tour announcement follows the band’s show stopping performance at Glastonbury Festival and their recent UK headline tour, which sold out in less than 24 hours. Box Office 0845 146 1460
Mobile 01 - 05 Nov Theatre Royal - The Drum Mobile is The Paper Birds’ second show in a trilogy about class in modern Britain. Made for audiences of up to 8 people at a time, this is an intimate 40 minute theatre show set in a caravan, based on interviews conducted in communities across the UK. Box Office 01752 267222 Tom Odell 05 Nov Plymouth Pavilions Tom Odell is coming to the Plymouth Pavilions for his No Bad Days Tour! Joining him here in Plymouth on Sat 5th November are Rag n Bone Man and Johnny Lloyd. Box Office 0845 146 1460 BIG: The Musical 05 - 12 Nov Theatre Royal - The Lyric Leading an all-star cast, Jay McGuiness (The Wanted singer and Strictly Come Dancing champion) is joined by West End stars Denise Van Outen, Diana Vickers, Gary Wilmot and Irwin Sparkes. Big is a joyous musical spectacular that will enchant audiences of all ages as it brilliantly brings to life the magic of one of the best-loved movies of all time. Box Office 01752 267222 Catfish And The Bottlemen 07 Nov Plymouth Pavilions Plymouth Pavilions are thrilled to announce that following a triumphant summer festival run at BBC Radio 1’s Big Weekend, Glastonbury, T in the Park, Boardmasters and countless others, Catfish and the Bottlemen will continue to thrill fans with an extra stop on their UK Tour - here at Plymouth Pavilions on Monday 7 November! Box Office 0845 146 1460 Romesh Ranganathan 08 Nov Plymouth Pavilions Romesh Ranganathan is back with a brand new show exploring the rationality of his worldview. ‘Irrational’ will see Romesh examine the issues close to his heart, and explains why everybody else is wrong about them. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Michael Ball & Alfie Boe 09 Nov Plymouth Pavilions Two of the greatest voices in the world, the nation’s leading musical theatre star, Michael Ball and the nation’s favourite tenor, Alfie Boe, today announce that they are joining forces for the first time, to record a brand new album as well as take to the stage for a unique UK headline Tour. Box Office 0845 146 1460 World Without Us 10 - 26 Nov Theatre Royal - The Drum Forming the final part to an epic trilogy that began with A History of Everything (2012) and Are we not drawn onward to new erA (2015), World Without Us returns to Plymouth following the 2016 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Box Office 01752 267222
drY CleanInG aGents all sIZe QuIlts WasHed Bastille
Remembrance Festival 2016 11 Nov Plymouth Pavilions The first Remembrance Day was
nine Brian Cox
conducted in 1919 throughout Britain and the Commonwealth. Originally called Armistice Day, it commemorated the end of hostilities the previous year. It came to symbolise the end of the war and provide an opportunity to remember those who had died. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Catherine Tate 15 Nov Plymouth Pavilions The critically acclaimed, award-winning comedian and actor Catherine Tate, will take ‘The Catherine Tate Show - Live’ across the country this autumn, with a 21 date UK tour starting on 1 November. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Brian Cox 17 Nov Plymouth Pavilions Brian Cox is perhaps the world’s foremost communicator of all things scientific. His innate ability to make highly complex matters enormously entertaining and easy to contemplate has made his science television shows ground breaking in their audience reach and accessibility. The show will take audiences on a dazzling journey through space and time, delving into ‘high science’ and freewheeling on the edges
of the known cosmos. A second date has been announced for May 10 2017. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Einaudi 18 Nov Plymouth Pavilions Ludovico Einaudi has quietly become one of the most successful musicians in the world. His hauntingly beautiful and evocative music tops the charts in the UK and Europe, and he was BAFTA-nominated for his score of This is England ‘86. Ludovico’s latest album Elements was released on Friday 16 October to critical acclaim. After his sellout spring concerts, Ludovico returns this November for a further leg of the UK tour. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Deacon Blue 19 Nov Plymouth Pavilions Following their triumphant comeback four years ago, Deacon Blue have gone from strength to strength, with sold out tours in 2012, 2013 and 2014. Alongside over six million album sales, twelve UK Top 40 singles and two UK Number One albums, Deacon Blue are also one of the most passionate live bands around. The tour announcement coincides with the 25th Anniversary of their platinum selling 1991 album ‘Fellow Hoodlums’ which includes Top 10 hit and live favourite ‘Twist & Shout’ and the beautiful ‘Your Swaying Arms’. Box Office 0845 146 1460 According to Arthur 19 Nov Barbican Theatre PaddleBoat Theatre Company invite you to bring your unbounded imagination as together we try to help Arthur find the
the big list moon again – and in doing so, we might just remind Arthur that an empty life can be filled again. Details 01752 242021 Passenger 22 Nov Plymouth Pavilions With his hit single “Let Her Go” reaching a staggering one billion YouTube views, UK based singer songwriter Mike Rosenberg (aka Passenger) is set to announce his eighth studio album in the coming weeks. For almost a decade this unique troubadour has been performing his much loved one man show across the globe. Box Office 0845 146 1460 May-We-Go-Round 25 Nov Barbican Theatre Multi-award winning show May-We-GoRound? is a collision of fiercely energetic dance and comedic theatre. Cristina and Chess jangle through the merrygo-round of romance, taking audiences along for the bitter-sweet ride. Details 01752 242021
Jess Glynne
Levellers 25 Nov Plymouth Pavilions Brighton folk punk band Levellers will play their classic album in full plus other hits on a mammoth UK tour supported by Ferocious Dog to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the release of their second full-length, and now classic album. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Jack Garratt 26 Nov Plymouth Pavilions Jack Garratt is very pleased to announce details of a UK tour for the Autumn, including a show at Plymouth Pavilions on Saturday 26 November. British artist-producer Jack Garratt could not have wished for a better start to 2016 - winning both the Brits Critics’ Choice Award, the BBC Sound of 2016 poll, selling out his Spring UK Tour and releasing his acclaimed debut album Phase. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Jess Glynne 28 Nov Plymouth Pavilions Chart-topping singer and MTV Crashes
Plymouth headliner Jess Glynne is bringing her 2016 live tour to the Plymouth Pavilions! Box Office 0845 146 1460 The Emperor’s New Clothes 29 Nov - 14 Jan Theatre Royal - The Drum Following sell out performances of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Stuff and Nonsense return to the Theatre Royal Plymouth with their latest production. Inspired by the Muppets, Danny Kaye and good old family movies, this romp through a classic, eccentric tale tells the story of an Emperor who loves clothes more than anything. Box Office 01752 267222 Gloria In The Mist 30 Nov - 23 Dec Theatre Royal - The Drum French actress and Animal Communicator Gloria Delaneuf returns this Christmas to share her life-changing experience with the gorillas of the Kungalunga Jungle. A hilarious new show, following on from the award winning Gloriator. Box Office 01752 267222
December Forbidden Nights - Male Variety Act 02 Dec Plymouth Pavilions Forbidden Nights – a classy new all male variety show with full theatre production and explosive choreography. Featuring a vocalist, aerial artist, pole performer and fire act all delivered with an element of naughtiness but not so naughty
the big list
that you can’t bring your Granny! The evening is suitable for ages 18 to 80. Box Office 0845 146 1460 BBC Big Band 03 Dec Theatre Royal - The Lyric Widely regarded as one of the world’s leading and most versatile orchestras, The BBC Big Band continues to delight audiences around the world through their broadcasts on BBC Radio and their live performances. Box Office 01752 267222 That’ll Be The Day: Christmas Show 04 Dec Theatre Royal - The Lyric Topped with lashings of Christmas spirit, get ready to party as That’ll Be The
Rizzle Kicks
Day returns with its Brand New 2016 Christmas Show! The UK’s most popular Rock ‘N’ Roll variety show celebrates the festive season with all your favourite Christmas classics from the 50s, 60s & 70s, plus plenty of hilarious comedy! Box Office 01752 267222 Kevin Bloody Wilson 06 Dec Plymouth Pavilions The Kevin Bloody Wilson show is not just a concert performance; for most, it’s a full on event and an opportunity to tick from your bucket-list, a chance to see Australia’s most unique international comedy legend. Box Office 0845 146 1460
Reeves & Mortimer 07 Dec Plymouth Pavilions Back by huge popular demand, comedy legends Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer will be taking their critically acclaimed live show – ‘25 Years of Reeves & Mortimer: The Poignant Moments’ – back on tour this Autumn. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Jools Holland 09 Dec Plymouth Pavilions Musical master of ceremonies Jools Holland and his much loved Rhythm & Blues Orchestra have announced the run of dates and special guests of their 2016 Autumn/Winter UK tour. Renowned as
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one of the UK’s most popular tours, now in it’s 21st year, these shows are not to be missed and will this year feature special guests The Selecter’s Pauline Black and Arthur ‘Gaps’ Hendrickson. Box Office 0845 146 1460 One Night Of Queen 10 Dec Plymouth Pavilions In 2000, Gary Mullen won ITV’s “Stars In Their Eyes” Live Grand Final, with the largest number of votes ever received in the shows history. Gary began touring on his own and in 2002 formed a band ‘The Works’, to pay tribute to rock legends Queen. One Night of Queen is a spectacular live concert, recreating the look, sound, pomp and showmanship of arguably the greatest rock band of all time. Box Office 0845 146 1460 The Human League 11 Dec Plymouth Pavilions Plymouth Pavilions are delighted that British Synth legends, The Human League will return this December. With special guests Blancmange and +Ekkoes. Box Office 0845 146 1460 The Jungle Book 13 Dec - 15 Jan Barbican Theatre Le Navet Bete return to the Barbican Theatre this Christmas with their fun and energetic take on The Jungle Book. Join us to see Mowgli, Bagheera, Baloo, Shere Khan, Kaa and probably an ape or two for an unforgettable fools’ retelling of the classic tale. A really accessible show, suitable for the whole family! Details 01752 242021
Rizzle Kicks 15 Dec Plymouth Pavilions SW1 Productions are delighted to announce Rizzle Kicks, one of the most popular, engaging, and singularly English, success stories of the last decade, will mark their very welcome return to the music world with a brand new tune named ‘Always Late’ will play the Plymouth Pavilions on Thursday 15 December. Box Office 0845 146 1460 Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs 16 Dec - 14 Jan Theatre Royal - The Lyric With star of stage and television Lesley Joseph and Blue pop sensation Duncan James leading a sensational cast, the Theatre Royal Plymouth’s pantomime will be the fairest pantomime of them all! Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs will be spectacularly brought to life with an abundance of comedy, sensational song and dance numbers, fabulous costumes and special effects. Box Office 01752 267222 The Bootleg Beatles 20 Dec Plymouth Pavilions Plymouth Pavilions are thrilled to announce that The Bootleg Beatles will return to the venue in December 2016! With over 4000 performances in over 40 countries, The Bootleg Beatles are the number 1 all British Beatle band! Box Office 0845 146 1460
If you would like to have your event involved in the next BIG LIST, email hello@ps-zine.com
T H E B I G E AT Words by Naomi Girdler and James MacGregor So you’re new to Plymouth, and you’ve not had time to do your research on local places to eat yet, what with all the binge drinking, partying with your new housemates and obviously attending all of your 9am lectures too! Here at Plymouth Student, we like to give you guys a helping hand into the student life Plymouth has to offer, and what better way to start than with what there is to eat. Plymouth has a great range of independent restaurants, takeaways and cafes catering for all tastes and dietary choices! We’ve tried to sum up some of the best places to eat (although, this list is merely the tip of the iceberg) whatever the occasion.
FOR THE DRUNKEN MUNCHIES JAKES 5 Regent Street, PL4 8BA • 01752 252323 Everyone in Plymouth has heard of Jakes, it’s easily the best pit stop in town for when you’ve had a few too many and you need some cheesy chips to soak up the spirits. Open until 5am, you can grab yourself a ‘Fat Bastard’ (a half pounder cheeseburger with bacon) or if you’re a real fat bastard, an ‘Even Fatter Bastard’ (a whopping three burgers, with cheese and bacon), as well as a number of different baguette melts such as the ‘Morning Glory’ (bacon, egg and sausage) or the ‘Angel Delight’ (a chicken burger and bacon). An absolute rite of passage as a student, so don’t forget to make a stop on your way home.
GOODBODYS CAFE 49 Mutley Plain, PL4 6JQ • 01752 206469 Mutley Plain can be a lonely stretch of high street in the wee hours of the morning. You’re feeling a bit blue, you’ve lost your friends and you know you shouldn’t drink any more (or really had those last shots, c’mon now), but you’re hungry and Goodbody’s is there for you. Offering 24 variations on the classic fry up, with such deviations as the Indian Breakfast, a fry up with added chicken curry, the Cornish Breakfast, a fry up with added pasty and the ‘All American’, where you can enjoy your classic Full English along with a buttermilk pancake complete with maple syrup, you can indulge your inner glutton. If you still have any room left, there’s the mega milkshakes or ‘pints of pud’ (you can get yourself a pint of jelly for just £1)
CIT Y CHARCOAL GRILL 12 Mutley Plain, PL4 6LA • 01752 663142 Situated a stone’s throw from The Junction, The Underground and a handful of other pubs, City Charcoal Grill is the place to go for a quick bite late at night on the Plain. A diamond amongst the rough, it can be an absolute life saver when the booze begins demanding a belly full of kebab meat. There isn’t often anything special about a kebab shop, but City Charcoal Grill’s lovely staff are what puts this takeaway on our list. Having to put up with Mutley Plain’s late night visitors is one thing, but to do it with a smile on your face is another. You can also order takeaway online through their website www.citycharcoalgrill. com or by ringing the number above.
FOR MUM & DAD CAFE KISS 7 North Street, PL4 0BW • 01752 267423 This excellent tucked away eatery is perfect for a more informal dining experience. Kiss offers a simple but beautifully prepared menu with daily daytime specials, coffee, cake and evening meals, all with a home cooked character. Aside from the food, the friendly and welcoming staff are what’s kept me coming back tot his place, well that and the backgammon. They even have a piano if you fancy entertaining the masses.
The Chancel 2 St Andrews Street, PL1 2AH • 01752 226264 For those who prefer the sophisticated surroundings of a continental bistro without the huge price tag, then here’s just the spot. This classy little restaurant is a good way of impressing the parents, boasting a range of more than 50 wines and a menu that will fit all tastes. These guys take pride in going the extra mile to locally and ethically source its produce whilst maintaining a very reasonable cost to you. Whether it is a light lunch, candlelit evening meal or just a glass of wine at the bar, you can’t go far wrong with the Chancel.
Royal Yard
William
Royal William Road, PL1 3RP 01752 659252 When in doubt, the Royal William Yard will be there to feed your folks and all within a student loan budget too. The Yard is found
in Storehouse just outside of the town centre, and is a growing hub of businesses within some of the most beautiful Grade 1 listed military buildings. With a range of trustworthy chain restaurants, such as Seco Lounge, Wildwood, Las Iguanas and Wagamamas, you can treat the family to a variety of cuisines from Japanese to French. Enjoy the seafront view from the outside seating, visit an arts and crafts market or catch a movie at the open-air cinema, there’s all sorts going on to keep the family entertained.
WHEN IT’S TAKEAWAY NIGHT Boon Tong Dha 186 Exeter Street, PL4 0NQ • 01752 221500 Nestled amongst antique shops and Oliver Colville’s office is Boon Tong Dha, a small Thai restaurant and takeaway offering some of the finest Asian cuisine in the city. With favourites such as pad thai and panang curry, with a variety of meat options as well as tofu, you can’t go wrong if thai food is what the housemates are after. As well as their competitive prices and late delivery hours, you can eat in at the restaurant itself. Book in advance to avoid disappointment though, Boon Tong Dha can only host up to 16 people at one time! It really is small!
Little India 44 Armada Street, PL4 8LZ • 01752 226666 Just off the beaten track of North Hill is Little India, one of the finest Indian takeaways that Plymouth has to offer. As the name suggests, the shop itself is tiny but that doesn’t reflect on the quality of the food. From spicy vindaloos to creamy kormas, Little India offers all the household favourites with no fuss. Little bit of advice though, avoid online services such as Just Eat and give these guys a call direct. This way they can offer you their student discount (make sure to mention it on the phone first) and your food will normally be made and delivered to you a lot faster.
Cantonese House 41 Regent Street, PL4 8BB • 01752 266848 Okay, let’s not beat around the bus, this is a Chinese takeaway, and a bloody good one at that. Serving all your favourites and providing an extensive selection of oriental cuisine right in the centre of studentville. If it’s collection, delivery or online, these guys have a Just Eat page and are open until 11:30pm at weekends. I recommend this one
purely based on my findings in an intrepid quest to find the perfect Chinese takeaway. This one comes in pretty high.
IF YOU’RE VEGGIE OR VEGAN S amphire Brasserie 111 Mayflower Street, PL1 1SD • 01752 263116 Being a vegan can be hard work sometimes, but thanks to Samphire Brasserie, eating out couldn’t be easier. Being 100% vegan, cruelty free and priding themselves on fresh local ingredients wherever possible, it boasts a contemporary menu with dishes such as ‘The Big Moc’ burger, the ‘Zeus was a Funghi’ mushroom burger and the ‘Kruelty Free’ soya chicken bucket. As well as evening meals, they also do a lunch and takeaway menu with a deli counter to boot, so don’t miss out on some of their fantastic vegan cheeses, bread and desserts too!
Veggie Perrins 97 Mayflower Street, PL1 1SD • 01752 252888 The sign says “I didn’t get where I am today by eating meat”, a clever reference to the late 70’s TV sitcom “The Rise and Fall of Reginald Perrin”. Now, for those in the know when it comes to vegetarian cuisine of the Indian variety, this place is definitely in the ‘rise’ category. Perrins take a strict stand on how all their ingredients are derived, no meat, fish or even eggs. The decor is simple, clean and unfussy, the staff are extremely courteous and personable making your evening a thoroughly enjoyable one. Word has it they will have a lunchtime menu available soon, you heard it here first.
Ethica 155 Armada Way, PL1 1HY • 01752 229897 Despite not being a restaurant or a takeaway, Ethica had to be mentioned in this category. Stocking some of the best essential products from vegan, gluten-free and organic food and drink, skincare products, cosmetics and household products, Ethica is proving to be a one stop shop for all things cruelty free. A unique, family run business, it brings together exciting new products as well as trusted favourites, from naughty vegan treats to wholesome eco friendly cupboard staples. Give these guys a visit and help support this local ethical outlet.
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the big festival review
THE BIG F E S T I VA L R E V I E W After a long summer of fun, Plymouth Student and its contributors give you the lowdown on the best picks for next year’s festival season
OCHC FEST #2 Words by Naomi Girdler Photography by Saskia Hopwood www.facebook.com/SaskiaHopwoodPhotography
June 18th The Junction & The Underground, Mutley Plain, Plymouth June 18th played host to OCHC Fest, a hardcore punk all dayer organised by Ocean City Hardcore, a local promotions company working hard to bring hardcore music to the tight knit community of fans in Plymouth and nearby. The festival was in aid of the Hardcore Help Foundation, a non profit organisation of hardcore fans from Germany who work on a number of projects to help those in need. From medical camps in Kenya to local housing and food banks, the charity works hard to break down the stereotype some may have of those in the scene whilst providing care for vulnerable people across the globe.
OCHC Fest
I loved seeing everyone working together, enjoying the music and absolutely not adhering to any shallow stereotype of violent thuggery. Seeing people slam into each other and throw their limbs around wildly may look aggressive, but if someone falls over or gets hurt, the action stops, people pick each other up off the floor and the show goes on. Alongside donation buckets, there was a raffle with prizes featuring hours worth of tattoo time donated by Equinox Tattoo, tickets to the upcoming Anchored to the Sound festival and even a huge cuddly banana. In the end over £1000 was raised for the Hardcore Help Foundation, with more donations coming in via Paypal. Next year’s festival has already been announced, with plans to expand to more venues, more bands and possibly growing to a whole weekend of music. A lot of respect to the guys who organised this, Andreas Martin and Elliot Philips, who’s passion for music and making money for charity keeps this event alive, and there’s clearly a demand for it. Here’s to OCHC Fest 3!
2000
TREES
Words by Darren Johns Photography by Gareth Bull & Cai Dixon
Frank Turner
former, despite their (deliberate) misunderstanding of the nasty fallout post-Brexit. Away from the big hitters, and away from the lure of Wide Awake Café’s insanely more-ish vegan nosh, and away from the lure of cheap whisky and stagnant pond-diving, we managed to savour the underground delights of Muncie Girls, The Smith Street Band, And So I Watch You From Afar, Terrible Love, Ben Marwood, Arcane Roots, Happy Accidents, Grumble Bee (fave moniker of the weekend), Creeper and Moose Blood. Unfortunately, we also stumbled upon the terminally disingenuous Frank Turner doing a solo stint and the terminally twatty Itch Fox fronting a resurrected King Blues, but the less said about those two egobots the better.
July 7th to 9th Upcote Farm, Cheltenham
2000 Trees
With a line up of hardcore giants such as Grove Street Families, Venom Prison and MindXControl, punters from across the country made the trip to Plymouth to attend the sold out all dayer. Also on the line up was local bands Boxkite, Quiet Man and Dusted, all of which are making their own dent on the hardcore scene, locally, nationally and further afield. Split across two venues, The Junction and The Underground on Mutley Plain, the festival ran from 11.30am until late into the evening, with headliners MindXControl taking the stage at the Junction just before midnight. The atmosphere was electric with fans shouting along to every word and stage diving, clearly elated to have one of their favourite bands in such an intimate setting.
OCHC Fest
Darren Johns performing with Crazy Arm
I remember when I was ten years old. It was the year I first started listening to the Sex Pistols and learning to play the guitar; and it was also the year that I shit the bed and wandered about sleepwalking with poop in my hand. Nearly 38 years later and I’m still doing two of those three things on a regular basis. And here we are (segue alert!) celebrating 2000 Trees festival’s tenth birthday and I’m here playing (twice) for the seventh year with Crazy Arm.
Ultimately, 5000 people on a picturesque site that sprawled no further than a square mile (including campsites and the wonderful enchanted forest stage) is something that guarantees an intimate and celebratory atmosphere, wherever you lay your musical hat, and whatever your chronological vs biological age. Same again next year. Have shit in hand, will party.
PO RT E LI OT Words by Naomi Girdler
But that’s enough about us. What’s important is that this eco-minded, non-corporate, socially egalitarian shindig is hosted by a gang of folk who have become good friends over the years, and who have carved out an enviously respectable niche in the festival circuit. For the first eight fests they showcased only homegrown talent, but you’d have to be mad to resist the lure of American hardcore bands like The Bronx and Refused, both of whom put in spirited, reckless and brilliant performances this weekend. Especially the
July 28th to 31st St Germans, Cornwall Port Eliot is a rather unique festival, with its majestic setting on the Eliot estate and its focus on arts, culture, literature, comedy and music. It’s never quite fit into a mould of any stereotypical festival, however that only adds to how truly incredible Port Eliot can be. With an abundance of
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the big festival review
Port Eliot Festival
KNEE
DEEP
Words by Naomi Girdler Photography by Dom Moore
August 26th & 27th Near Liskeard, Cornwall gorgeous food options, a host of free workshops to explore creative endeavours, a plethora of music, comedy and art that dazzles and inspires, and a natural location that allows a weekend of exploration, relaxation and indulgence, you’re spoilt for choice in St Germans. Hosted on the last weekend of July, Port Eliot promises a rich diversity of music and performance with this year featuring legends such as quirky artist Noel Fielding, Sonic Youth’s punk rock princess Kim Gordon, Plymouth born comedian Dawn French and children’s author Michael Morpurgo. I had visited this weekend with a few friends, two of whom have been featured in the magazine before; Mckinley and Paget. Local boys Jake and Dan were invited to the Hole and Corner workshop tent to show Port Eliot patrons how to make their own soy wax, naturally scented candles. Based on their unofficial Port Eliot scent, I made my own lemongrass and sage candle to take home with me. Their citronella and clove candles also came in handy when being attacked by midges and mosquitos; one of the only downsides to Port Eliot festival. Don’t forget the bug spray! You can wander from the main Park stage after listening to some live music or comedy, roam down to the Caught by the River stage where you can dance to DJs or enjoy the Estuary setting, and if you’re still looking for a party, you can find yourself in the Boogie Round until the early hours of the morning. You can also Noel Fielding’s artwork explore The House and view art exhibitions and check out the food competition winners, and if you’re still looking for an injection of art and culture, you can find yourself at the Bowling Green where any number of influential people are talking about their practices. Only a short car or train journey from Plymouth, Port Eliot is a fantastic local festival offering something different from all the rest. From candle making workshops to massages in the woods, from hammocks under the stars to busking by the river side, Port Eliot offers a unique experience for those of all ages. The atmosphere is fun and laid back, with little or no trouble amongst the festival goers. You won’t be disappointed if you find your way to Port Eliot festival next year and don’t be put off by bands or comedians or artists you’ve never heard of, it’s the perfect place to explore music, art and culture as well as the beautiful scenery that’s been shared by the Eliot family for you to enjoy for the weekend. Finally, this review wouldn’t be complete without saying thanks to the late Peregrine Eliot, the 10th Earl of St Germans and one of the founders of Port Eliot Lit Fest who died just days before the festival. We made sure to party hard in your honour, and make this year’s festivals one of the best yet. Rest in Candle making workshop peace, Perry.
with Mckinley& Paget
What a delight that this festival is back, to treat us once again with fantastic new underground music, an intimate and welcoming atmosphere and the excitement of being involved with easily the coolest festival the South West has to offer. Knee Deep invites you to a small family farm just outside of Liskeard to explore art and music with your pals. With a crowd of only a thousand people, you find yourself transported to a private party, where you can watch the main stage from your tent and you’ll never lose your friends.
Dream Wife
unique percussion instruments and producer/songwriter Kyle Molleson switching between a guitar, a bass, loop pedals and a laptop. The perfect way to start off your evening as you mean to end it; dancing! Admittedly, the night got slightly blurry after Makeness, but I do recall crawling into my tent early in the morning aching from dancing, having been quite spoilt by the DJs all night in the Jam Tent. My Saturday started later than planned as the hangover I thought I’d avoided in the morning began to creep in later in the day. It was about the same time that Sports Team opened the main stage in the afternoon with the indie band’s front man climbing off the stage, into the crowd and performing right in front of me. Following their set was Yonaka, a female fronted ‘dark pop’ band, with heavy riffs, melodic vocals and angsty undertones. I was blown away by the power of the voice in vocalist Theresa Jarvis, and enjoyed the heavy pop cross over that was before me. What I have to say is that Knee Deep absolutely nailed was the amount of women on stage all weekend. Notoriously, festivals tend to be a sausage fest so it was encouraging, not just as a woman, but also as a female musician, to be exposed to so many talented and hard working women in the industry.
Flamingods
After taking a hiatus in 2015, Knee Deep has returned with some favourite faces from before, as well as a line up of new bands that you know are on their way up to the big time. Previous acts that have played Knee Deep, such as Wolf Alice, Glass Animals and Patrick Wolf, have all gone on to play at much larger festivals such as Glastonbury, Bestival and Reading/Leeds. It’s definitely worth hitting up Knee Deep without much knowledge of the music, as you’ll definitely be pleasantly surprised by what you find. Keep an open mind and prepare to tell people in 18 months time ‘you saw them live before they were cool’. Myself and a few friends headed to the site as early as possible on the Friday afternoon, joining in hundreds of others keen to get their weekend started. The festival only runs for the Friday and Saturday night, so it’s worth getting there early to get all your partying in while it lasts! We set up our tents after a slightly lengthy wait in the queue, and the gin was flowing and the glitter sparkling before the sun went down.
Knee Deep Festival
The Friday night left me feeling inspired and invigorated, which was mainly down to watching the incredible Dream Wife. Fronted by Icelandic sweetheart Rakal, Dream Wife is three girls who met at university singing songs titled ‘Hey Heartbreaker’ and ‘Lolita’, juxtaposing their sickly sweet appearance with stark lyrics shouted and screamed. Easily one of the most punk rock bands I’d seen in a long time. Since the stages and location was so small, the bands were staggered between two outdoor stages. Following Dream Wife was Makeness at the top stage, an acid house trio that featured live drum beats,
Local lovelies Native Makers also spent their weekend at Knee Deep, playing host to the Arts and Crafts tent. From painting pots to making your own badges, with a small donation you could get crafty with creatives Emily Dymond and Rosie DrakeKnight. After making a ton of badges, it was all about enjoying the sunshine (especially since it was due to rain), eat lots of lovely food, indulge in some gin and glitter up for another night of partying hard. Familiar faces Flamingods came back to Knee Deep again this year, after their last appearance in 2014 went down such a storm. They didn’t fail to impress again this year as they headlined the main stage on the Saturday evening. Describing themselves as ‘exotic psychedelia’, they got your feet moving, your heart racing and your arms waving in the air. Easily the highlight of my Knee Deep experience, they got everyone warmed up and I almost felt sorry for the act following. Thankfully Loyle Carner felt none of those nerves as he smashed out his set shortly after. Loyle, who grew up in South London, has grown up with ADHD, something that comes through in his high energy performances as well as his charity work in a cooking school for kids dealing with the same issues. Loyle’s music is heartbreakingly honest, humble and poetic, with a lot of his lyrics coming from personal experience. Teamed with classic old school hip hop beats, the crowd couldn’t get enough of what was on offer. Followed by DJs and more acts at the Jam Tent, the night was full of people having a good time and making the most of what was left of the weekend that Knee Deep had rewarded us with. Another night of non-stop dancing left me with many aches and pains the next day, and faced with having to pack up my tent and go home, it was a sad moment to think this wouldn’t happen again for another whole year. However, I’m glad to say that I’ve been left with enough good memories to last the 12 months. Hurry up summer 2017, I want to go back to Knee Deep already.
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S E A CH ANG E Words by Chris Muirhead
August 26th & 27th Totnes, Devon The advantage of Sea Change is its location of Totnes; a fiercely independent town and home to the wildly impressive Drift Records, the owner of which set up the festival. I found the camping area in the beautiful Dartington Estate easily; a short walk through the woods and we emerged into the sunshine of Station Road half way through the Friday when the atmosphere was already giddy.
the big festival review
Finally, the stunning Bo Ningen - the sort of live act that leaves you feeling bewildered and dosed for hours afterwards. Overall this festival was delightful, and its curation felt personal, intriguing and the format could certainly work in years to come
END THE
OF R OA D
Words by Andrew Girdler Photography by Christopher Jesse Juare
September 1st to 4th Larmer Tree Gardens, Wiltshire
The largest of the active venues over the weekend was the Civic Hall; a piece of Brutalist architecture nestled in the corner of the market square. The Parrots brought optimistic Spanish garage rock, Ultimate Painting & Toy both delivered hugely entertaining psych rock inflected Indie, Luke Abbot tinkered weirdly and I was gutted to miss The Membranes. Just over the road was St Mary’s Church- easily the most striking venue; the original church was completed in 1450 on its site, its predecessor dedicated in 1259 and lovingly restored in the mid nineteenth century. The intricacies of the stone screen and the lofty ceilings formed a superb backdrop to the artists that had the opportunity to play such a unique space; highlights of which were Joan Shelley and her guitarist Nathan Salsburg, the heroic Death Shanties sax and drums jazz weirdness, the cerebral electronics of Howes, Lux Harmonium, and many others that I missed.
On the edge of Dorset is Larmer Tree Gardens, a sweet little wedding and events venue, and also host to one of the most exciting and memorable festivals the UK has to offer, End Of The Road. With it’s mixture of psych rock, folk, indie, garage, punk, and pop bands across four days and four stages, woods area with ponds and lights amongst the trees, art installations hidden around every corner, and some of the best festival food around, End Of The Road festival is one that gets better and more comfortable upon each return.
End of the Road Festival
Sea Change Festival
But for all of Friday’s intriguing acts, this festival came into its own on Saturday, the first of my personal highlights being Matthew & Me’s elegant yet powerful indie pop which belie the group’s youth and surely prefix their entrance into the national musical consciousness. The festival’s more alternative corner was South Devon Arts Centre and the Quietus stage; tucked away in an industrial estate and fronted by a huge peaked marquee; up some stairs is a balcony that wraps around the top floor giving you a perfect view of the stage. My other highlights for the weekend are undeniably what I witnessed there in lieu of the official weekenders British Sea Power. Teeth of the Sea was a mix of phenomenally confident industrial psychedelia and organic electronic soundscapes which genuinely astonished. Richard Dawson invited us generously into his intimate personal head space with the kind of command of traditional and alternative folk that cannot come along many times in a generation.
Kevin Morby
The setting isn’t like any other festival, the lush greenery, ponds, peacocks wandering, and strips of lights leading you through the woods, it’s quite the place to spend a weekend. Throw yoga classes, paper mache sculptures, recording studios, and your choice of punk, psychedelia, folk, and pop into the mix, and you’ve got something really quite special. This carefully curated weekend isn’t just for your typical festival-goer, they’ve catered for all ages, with workshops aimed specifically at under 16s for the many children attending with their parents, and it’s sure out to disprove anyone that has ever deemed someone “too old” for festivals. The lineup is also just as varied as ever, with loud 16-minute psychedelic jams from Aussie band King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard, to indie-folk from Kevin Morby, all the way to ethereal harp playing from Joanna Newsom. There was no waiting around for the music to start either, with Baywaves kicking off the weekend early evening Thursday, with some help from The Shins and London psych band Yak, who left a lasting impression on the Tipi Tent with their fuzz-laden set of screeching jams and improvisations. Not to mention the secret set from Ezra Furman later that night. Friday was a strong day for music too, with the relaxed Amber Arcades, Mothers, and Whitney and more across several stages, balanced out by the more intense Savages, Beak>, and headliners Animal Collective, the latter of which delivered a hypnotising sunset show. Blending psychedelia, electronic, and tribal sounds, alongside an incredible light show and seamlessly transitioning back catalogue, Animal Collective’s stellar set was a memorable one.
Saturday was decidedly weaker for music (for me, anyway) but that didn’t stop gems like twin-brother two-piece punk band The Garden from shining through, playing a set of drum & bass, jungle, and post-punk, while sporting some clown faces and Karate Kid-esque dance moves all in the space of 45 minutes. It wasn’t like anything else I’d ever seen, take that how you’d like, but I can’t deny it was extremely entertaining and I would take the opportunity to catch them again if a chance arises. Early Saturday night and things started to get rainy, but none are better suited for lifting spirits than masked Swedish psych outfit Goat, as they had everyone attempting to chant along to their near indecipherable lyrics, it was as if everyone had forgotten the weather. Goat are very nearly the best festival bands I have ever seen, and their presence there was very welcomed. They were the last band that interested me for the day but hey, if you ever find yourself with no bands to watch, there’s always the disco floor and the secret sets right? The weekend was coming to an end but they sure saved the best for last. Sunday was a huge day on the music front, with Kevin Morby playing a spectacular set on the Garden stage, alongside the brilliant Bill Ryder-Jones & Thurston Moore, and Flamingods playing a strong midday set at the Big Top tent. Australian psych/garage seven-piece King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard played a remarkable show at the Big Top, with flute solos, 15 minute jams, and a set that barely stopped three times the whole time. They also did a pre-show signing at the pop-up Rough Trade shop for the queue of fans. Following them, was Californian garage rock band Thee Oh Sees, who played a monstrous show to the crowd in mosh-pits, with lead singer and guitarist John Dwyer throwing himself around the stage, before finishing off with a classic which they had doubled in length. It had started to rain, and the final act of the night (if you’re not counting the surprise shows) was Joanna Newsom. It was certainly a strange contrast between her and Thee Oh Sees, but the harp, her voice, and the orchestral accompaniments were impressive to listen to, and offered a nice way to sign off the weekend. Whilst this years headliners might not have been quite as strong as last years Tame Impala, Sufjan Stevens, and The War On Drugs, End Of The Road still delivered, with an atmosphere strong enough to compete with any festival of a much larger size. It’s unforgettable personality and attention to detail make it more than worth the ticket price.
Thee Oh Sees
patrons
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PAT R O N S Words by Naomi Girdler / Photography by Zuleika Fray Linstead PS: Who are Patrons? D: I'm Danny, I play guitar and sing. J: I'm James and I play the drums and pretend to sing. O: I'm Olly, I play bass and I sing. M: I'm Mark and I play guitar. O: He's not allowed to sing, he's too good. J: He'd outshine us. O: He brings the average up too much. D: Mark can do three part harmonies just by himself. PS: How long has Patrons been going? O: In its current format, probably early 2014. We've been friends since school, we've all been in little projects together and other bands and things. M: 2014, that's when it kicked off. D: We've been playing music together for like 10 years? Over 10 years! M: A whole decade. PS: Which school did you guys go to? O: We all went to a lovely Catholic school called St Boniface.
J: Ironically now, we're all atheists. O: We just thought, he can't possibly be real.
J: There must have been like 300, so making four people agree on one of them is near on impossible.
PS: To people who have never heard you guys, how would you guys describe your music to the new Freshers of Plymouth? M: I heard the Beatles thrown around once or twice. O: The album the Beatles never made. J: For good reason. D: The album the Beatles threw away. But yeah! I think we play loud quiet rock. Dynamic with a K. J: I prefer "dynamique" personally.
PS: What were some of the other names on the list? O: I quite liked Tamar, but obviously because of the connotations of the river, we thought against it. And there's already a band called Tamar. D: Tamar Impala. M: Damn it, Dan. Why do you always come up with these things so much later than when we need them? O: There was loads. At the time, me especially, Patrons definitely stood out as the best band name out of all of them. Then we realised, no-one could say it haha. We wanted the name to be something easy to remember and say. People still call us Pat-Rons, but that's fine. D: There have been quite a few people who've called us PatRons.
PS: If you had to describe your music based on local influences, who would you mention? O: Brunel. Bit of Moriarty. Black Foxxes, gotta name them. M: Bit of Woahnows. Bedroom Project. D: We rip off everybody. O: Steve Strong. M: We're just listing bands we like. D: I think that's what happens though isn't it? You go watch a load of bands that you love to watch and they inspire you to do things. M: That's definitely it. It all seems to seep through. J: We definitely sound like loads of bands, and you end up sounding like bands that you love. O: Nobody can actually quite put their finger on what it sounds like. PS: That's good though, you don't want to be like 'this band sounds exactly like this band, but a bit different'. M: That's the thing about Plymouth. We're really quite lucky to have such a great load of bands down here. J: Yeah it comes in waves. PS: What's the story behind the name? O: Trying to use something that someone hadn't used before? D: Finding a word that isn't taken. M: It's got a lot to do with Postman Pat and Ron Weasley too. D: Pat Butcher and the Two Ronnies were a big influence on us as well. O: Patrick Stewart and Ronnie Wood. You name them. J: All of the Pats and Rons. D: Pat Sharpe and Ron Howard. O: There's no one influence there. It was just the first name that we all really liked. M: Better than some of the other names we came up with as well.
PS: What are your thoughts on the local music scene? O: It's really good. We've been playing music for 10 years in the Plymouth music scene and there are definitely waves of bands that should be on a international scale, and then it quietens down a bit then comes back again. It's a really friendly, accepting place. D: It's constantly changing, but really it's always been the same. It's always had a good strength to it, a good underground that just keeps pulsing. It never really goes away. J: It reminds me of the Seattle scene, because it's so detached from so many parts of the country so they just kinda decide to crack on and do their own thing. I think that's what makes it amazing. You see the same faces, but in loads of different projects. Like Chris Muirhead and Imperfect Orchestra, Drexl, Caracals, he gets around! O: That's just Muirs! D: You see the same face in lots of bands, and that's just Muirs. M: Yeah! I saw him playing with Steve Strong a few weeks ago! I think the common theme though is that it seems to be consistently underrated. J: When you go to Bristol, Brighton or London, there'll be a college of music, so professional musicians can be fantastic in bands, which is awesome. And they are fantastic. But in Plymouth, because we don't really have that, we just group together and make things that probably shouldn't work but they do. D: It's got real soul as well.
fifteen O: There are loads of types of music here as well, like jazz. D: Great blues scene too and nobody knows about it as well! Unless you're really involved with it. O: Even hip hop and drum and bass, Bassfunk, for years, was so good. They brought that here. Again, that's just a collection of people that decided, it's not happening here, so let's make it happen. M: There's a whole underground jungle scene going on at the moment as well. It's awesome, it's great. It's inspiring too, isn't it? If you want to come full circle, it really is. O: It makes you wanna be a better band, when you're surrounded by bands that are fantastic. PS: You've got a few gigs coming up, where are you headed next? O: Well, at the end of the month we're headed to Bridgwater and then we're playing a festival in Plymouth. Turbulence Festival, put on by Jamie Symons. Some decent out of town bands coming down for that one. We're looking at November next really, getting some shows booked then. We'll have an album out at some point too! PS: Tell me about the album! O: We've just about finished it. M: Getting it mixed and mastered, the artwork's ready. J: First video's been shot. Just waiting and waiting and waiting. O: I reckon we'll start sharing some snippets over the next few months. M: Definitely this side of Christmas though. O: Keep an eye on our Facebook really, we've not released any music since last Christmas, and then the EP in March so we have taken our time with it, which is just how we wanted to do things. I think though, as soon as it kinda drops, it's gonna be all go. We probably won't be able to make new music for
a long time while we handle all that. We're just trying to get ourselves in order really. PS: What does the future hold for Patrons? What are your plans? O: Britain's Got Talent next year. M: We'll do Big Brother. D: Then the year after we can do Celebrity Big Brother. M: Depends how well we get on in the original. O: Maybe Celebrity Masterchef after that? We're going to be the Christopher Biggins of the music scene. Without the racism though. Not that bit. But seriously, I think we all just wanna do this as much as we can really. It's great being in a band with your best mates because it means you can go out of your home town with your mates, and you don't even have to book a holiday. You're doing it with your friends already. D: It does get frustrating though, because you just wanna be
patrons able to go and play 300 shows a year and come home for a couple of months, do another album and then go out and do it all again. We're all set up to do that as well, that's ultimately what we've all endeavoured to do for a very long time. So at the moment, we are trying to get the record in the hands of people who might be able to push it to a wider audience. It's great playing to your mates, and making music for your friends and yourself, but it's nice when other people get to hear it too, even if they don't like it! Which happens a lot, seriously haha. O: And once we've got the prize money from Britain's Got Talent... we could meet the Queen too! M: I'm not ready for that. O: I think we just love playing live. D: Play as many shows as physically possible. J: I think that's where we kind of thrive as well. People seem to get it more, if that makes any sense. You can't fake it live. You can do all the edits you want on record and photos and videos and things, but if you're rubbish live, people are gonna know. That's why we love playing live. M: All our favourite bands are great live bands. J: It's where we cut our teeth as well. I don't think any of us have made a record of any description before we played our first show and stuff, you cut your teeth live and you realise the importance of being tight. M: There's no hiding. O: You can be the most talented band in the world, but that doesn't make you a good live band. I've certainly seen bands that are technically so much better than us, but sometimes it's not about how technical it is. PS: How can we find you guys online? You can find us on Instagram, Twitter as @wearepatrons and on Facebook as PATRONS.
eighteen
il pleut screenprinting
IL PLEUT Words by Naomi Girdler / Photography by Zuleika Fray Linstead PS: What is Il Pleut and what are you all about? H: Il Pleut is a small independent screen printing company, trying our hardest to be as environmentally conscious as possible, producing high quality affordable garments for the common man. We support the underdogs and there’s no job too small! We like to protect the innocent from the mass market. S: We’ve been doing this for around two years now, as we’re about to file our second tax return. That’s normally how I remember. PS: Who’s behind Il Pleut and how did you guys get into screen printing? H: Il Pleut is run by myself, Dan Hamlyn and my pal here, Sam Ratcliffe. I personally started doing it as a hobby when I was a young man, almost 10 years ago now! After that though, I worked in a screen printing factory for a while but I wasn’t really digging the large manufacturing aspect of it. I was more interested in doing screen printing creatively rather than on a bulk business scale. After I stopped working there, I started thinking about running my own business and hit up Sam! ‘Yo Sam, do you wanna help me set up my own business?’ and Sam was all ‘Yeah man! I’ll help you set that up!’. Sam is the brains, as I have a bad case of sieve mind. S: I don’t personally have a lot of experience with screen printing. I did it once or twice in college, that old chestnut, but that’s about it to be honest. I basically got involved because Dan was enthusiastic about it and I didn’t like my job at the time. I was working at Currys, and not enjoying it one bit. I quit that, so between Il Pluet and working as a sound engineer at local venues, it all just lined up. In the same week that I quit Currys, Dan left his job at the factory, and it basically fell into place. H: We decided to go ahead with everything and the super nice people at Last Shop Standing Record Store let us use their back room while we got set up. We were there for about 6 months or so. S: Yeah, I’d say about 6 months, because we were well into the place we are now when we did our first tax return... see, that’s how I remember. When we started, we really didn’t have any money to put into starting this. We both put in like £100 each, as that was about all we had at the time. H: Every order we got, we would give Last Shop Standing a bit of money from the order towards the rent of the back room. We’d print their merchandise t-shirts for free too. There was a real community vibe there, so it was good to contribute to that when we could. S: When that place closed down, we moved into the fancy studio that was Dan’s bedroom. H: Yeah, we were printing in my bedroom, shooting screens in my shower and reclaiming old screens in Sam’s back garden. S: Yep! We would walk old screens from Baring Street in Greenbank, all the way to Laira for about a month. We eventually got fed up of doing that, as you can imagine, and we had a space lined up with the guys at Dust N Bones Tattoo so as soon as we could get in there, we did. We’ve been there for well over a year now. H: We’re definitely happy there. It also puts us in the eye of that culture, which is never bad for business. We do get a bit of work from the tattoo world, it’s good to have returning customers from that industry. S: We also got a lot of help starting up from Mikee, the man behind VinoSangre, another screen printing company based in Cornwall. He took us under his wing in a manner of speaking. He’s our friend anyway, so he helped us at any opportunity. He gave us advice and helped us get equipment cheaper. H: He got the same help from a gentleman called Dan, who’s the guy behind
Pressure and Ink Screenprinting, based in Cologne, Germany. We got introduced to him by Mikee, so he gives us a helping hand too, which is cool. When I’m in Germany, I’ll go help him out too. PS: So what’s the story behind the name? H: It’s French for ‘it is raining’. I had it written down in a notebook as something I wanted to use for a band name idea or something. I had a Facebook and a Tumblr set up under that name and it was mainly somewhere for me to post pictures of printing I’d done for friends or their bands etc. At the time, I was only using water based inks so I guess that’s why I thought the name really fit the project. Eventually, we took it on with the business, but now we do printing with all types of inks, as and when necessary. It’s also fitting to our location, here in Plymouth, it always rains here so that’s another reason why. S: Cut to shot of the table of us all looking wistfully out of the window at the horrible rainy day we’re experiencing today haha!
H: We just wanna do things for the people, by the people! How many 90’s activist t-shirt slogans can I get into this interview? Haha PS: What local companies do you work with? S: We work with all the artists at Dust N Bones, they’re a good bunch. H: We also work a lot with Max K Designs, he’s a Cornish dude based in Bristol. We also did some t-shirts recently for local festival Knee Deep Festival on their collaboration with Crawlers. We also work with The Junction and The Underground venues on Mutley Plain, they’ll send work our way if they can. The managers and all the people that work there definitely help facilitate the independent music scene in Plymouth. S: They are just generally helpful people aren’t they? H: I don’t wanna name all the bands we’ve worked with since I’ll end up forgetting someone and that’s not fair, but there’s a fair few local ones in there. We also do some work with record labels, such as the Last Shop Standing Records and Black Sail Records, which are both local companies. PS: You also do a ‘Featured Artists’ series, can you tell me more about that? H: We’ve done a couple so far, with artists such as Lize Meddings, Max Kemp, who we mentioned before and tattoo artist Grace Neutral. We’re currently doing one with a gentleman who goes by the name of Black Cloud Design. He’s based in Germany and he’s designed t-shirts for Touche Amore and Cruel Hand who are big in the hardcore game. We do the series about once a month, and although we may have done a couple in the series with designers who are established, the idea is to help new designers get their artwork out there without financial risk. We pay for the printing costs and sell it through our website for them. S: It’s basically just some free publicity. It’s good to get our work and theirs out there to a different network of people. It’s fun. H: We’ve got some more series’ coming up with artists such as Weaselface and Fastplant as well as Jon Daily and Neil Pengilley from Dust N Bones. S: That’s the advantage of being around loads of artists, and in the tattoo studio!
PS: What made you guys decide to go freelance? H: I’m personally in love with the idea of punk rock and anarchism. I want to live on my own terms, and not for someone else. I don’t want to achieve someone else’s goals. I like the idea of community and we do items at cost for charities for example. We also do lots of trades, if we want a design, we’ll swap it for a small line of t-shirts or something. If I want a tattoo, I’ll swap it for some t-shirts. I want to live in that world, so I’m going to make my own small version of it around myself. S: Being into the kind of things that we are, DIY, playing in bands and punk rock, it’s almost a natural progression to be working for yourself. You can take time off to go and do things like go on tour, rather than get permission from someone else. You realise you’ve been living off practically no money for ages anyway, so you might as well just try it and give it a go. H: We also have the luxury of having friends doing the same things in different cities, so if we do have orders, we can send the work somewhere else.
PS: Where do we find your stuff online? H: You can find us on Instagram @ilpleutscreenprint, we’re on Facebook if you search Il Pleut Screenprinting, you can find our website at ilpleutscreenprinting. com or email us at info@ilpleutscreenprinting.com. If anyone wants to give us money for a job, has any questions, needs advice, fancies a chat or wants to be a featured artist, just drop us a line! Build community, make stuff, stay hydrated, stick it to the man!
twenty
rough designs
ROUGH DESIGNS PS: Who and what is Rough Designs? SB: My name is Sara Baker and I’m a Plymouth based surface pattern designer; I love designing prints and patterns and at the moment am focusing on designing for fashion. Rough Designs is my company that’s really grown and developed into what it is now, which is a very unique fashion brand. PS: When did you realise you were interested in fashion and print making? SB: Fashion has always been important to me, not necessarily in a conventional way though. I don’t think I’ve ever intentionally followed trends, but even when I was a child I was very aware of what I wanted to wear and how I wanted to wear it. As a teenager I struggled to find clothes that fitted me properly, I think that’s what created my desire to just do it myself. I would rip and cut, then stitch clothes back together to try and make what was in my head, but it was all very ‘make do.’ Luckily I had a very ‘90’s grunge’ look going on so it kind of worked. It wasn’t until I went to college that I realised just how much there is to fashion with all the different paths you can take and then I discovered surface design! I was so taken with the concept of mark making and not actually having to be typically good at drawing to be able to create beautiful and interesting images. Then after discovering processes such as linocut and screen-printing I was able to develop ideas further. It all really blew me away and I found myself drawn more and more towards surface design then the actual garment construction. PS: You did a BA in Fashion at Plymouth College of Art, how did you find your experience there? SB: Well I’m still doing it now! 5 years, a marriage and 2 children later I’m still part way through my degree, but have taken another break to have my now 3 month old daughter. In all honesty when I started at the college I was clueless. My ideas were flat and unoriginal, I had no concept of how to design something innovative. All I had going for me was a desire to learn and achieve. I completed a foundation course that just really opened me up and helped my design process become more fluid. Rather then being given a brief and instantly visualising my end result I began to allow my research to take me in different directions. Since being on the fashion degree I’ve started to think more like an industry professional and have really pushed my skills further. It helped being around other students, bouncing ideas off each other and having tutors like Becky Dodman who have their own experiences and input. It helps you step outside your comfort zone when you take on board other people’s views. I’ve actually decided to move onto the Printed Textile Design and Surface Pattern BA when I go back. I want to specialise in that one area and put everything I have
into it. I’m ridiculously excited to go back! I think each time I’ve had a break, it’s actually helped let it all sink in and let me take on board what the tutors have been saying. I feel like I’ve come so far and yet I have so much more to learn, it’s like I’m just starting still.
shoot locations! I do follow designers from all kinds of creative practices online as well. It’s really interesting to see particularly how different surface pattern designers work and then sometimes I see something and I’m like ‘ah that’s the same technique I used!’
PS: What made you decide to start Rough Designs? SB: It’s always been my intention to work for myself and to run my own business, but it was the first time I took a break, to have my son Logan, that I booked myself in for a craft fayre under the name Rough Designs. I think I was so panicked that I wouldn’t carry on and I would just get left behind so I wanted to keep creating during my time away. What I was doing with the company then was entirely different; I didn’t have the skills I have now so it took a very eclectic, up cycled, craft direction. It wasn’t until May this year that I launched my first clothing line and re branded as a fashion focused surface design brand and since then things have been going really well. I feel like I’m actually doing what I want with my life and taking the company in the right direction.
PS: Some of your patterns are really psychedelic and geometric, what’s the process behind creating these? SB: I often have a set of designs that all originate from the same pattern, I really love to push and develop a design as far as I can to get the most from it. I also love to combine various processes and technologies like photography, screen printing and Photoshop. I think the further I go with one design the more intricate it becomes and that’s what gives it a kind of trippy look. Going forward I really want focus on specific collections of designs that all have the same starting point, but each collection is going to be very different. Part of what I’m trying to achieve is to create a brand that is quite bold and unique, but that everyone who appreciates it can wear. I want to have a broad range of styles so people can find something that they are drawn to and identify with.
Sara Baker
PS: Who or what inspires your designs? SB: Absolutely everything! Patterns, textures, colours and shapes, sometimes things that may seem completely insignificant. Some of my prints have derived from Brutalist architecture and others from tree branches. Wherever we go I’m always pointing things out to my husband, who’s a bit of photographer, asking him to take pictures for me to use as inspiration later. I do it so much that he’s started to pre-empt it. It doesn’t matter if I’m picking my son up from nursery or if we’re having a family day out, my brains always in design mode… or scouting for photo
PS: What does the future hold for Rough Designs? SB: Quite a lot! I’ve got two very exciting photo shoots planned for next month that are going to be a lot of fun and one of which is going to be particularly creative. I’m really fortunate to be surrounded by some very talented and creative people who I’ve been able to collaborate with on things like this. Alongside that I’m releasing a new line of designs that are purely digital based which is a first for me! I normally like to get my hands at least a little bit dirty when designing! More long term, I’ve got plans to bring more of the production in house by investing in sublimation and direct to garment printing equipment as well as expanding the product lines to include menswear and more accessories. I’m also hoping that this will allow me to provide paid jobs for Plymouth fashion students. I know that a part of studying fashion involves having an internship, which is often unpaid, and a lot of the time outside of Plymouth. This isn’t easy for a lot of students to do so as Rough Designs grows I really want to be able to offer them flexible work that can be done around their deadlines. PS: How can we purchase your work? SB: You can buy online at www.roughdesigns.co.uk and of course follow the brand’s progress by checking out Rough Designs on Facebook… sometimes I release new designs there before putting them on the website. I do let people return items online, but if you’re local to Plymouth I’m always happy to have customers pop over to try things on first and see the items in person.
twenty two
fashion
ALMOST Take a wild trip back to an era of rock and roll, groupies that were as cool as the icons they worshiped and a hedonistic daze of freedom and living out your wildest fantasies! Thanks to local Vintage Boutique Peace Vintage for supplying us with these beyond cool pieces! All clothing items are available online at www.peacevintage.co.uk
Vintage 1970s pink lurex studio 54 style maxi dress, £50 Wild Honey’ vintage 70s peasant blouse £27 Vintage 70s leather & silver belt, £15 Vintage 1970s chainmail pewter tone necklace, £25
twenty three
fashion
FAMOUS Vintage 1970s Lurex halterneck dress, £35 (Worn under coat ) Vintage suede afghan purple jacket, £30 Rose tinted aviator sunglasses £10 Vintage Cowboy boots throughout: £20, various sizes and style available
Credits: Photography and words : Zuleika Fray Linstead Styling and wardrobe: Cassandra Snow & Peace Vintage
Zuleika Fray Linstead www.daretoberare.wordpress.com www.instagram.com/zuleika_fray Peace Vintage www.peacevintage.co.uk www.instagram.com/peacevintage
twenty four
sports
F A C T
Plymouth Life Centre
Plymouth Argyle FC is the most south westerly league club in England. They have the 47th biggest stadium in the country but sadly are the largest city in England to have never hosted top-flight football. That doesn’t mean they don’t have some of the best supporters in the country. Fixtures and ticketing information can be found at www.pafc.co.uk Plymouth Argyle’s Home Park Stadium
PLYMOUTH: Words by James MacGregor
Firstly if you are new to Plymouth and are about to undertake study here, welcome!
The City
more. Thanks to a partnership between Plymouth University, Plymouth City Council and Everyone Active, Plymouth University students are entitled to attend certain sessions
Now Plymouth can feel a bit detached from the rest of the
Plymouth has a long sporting history and a growing future,
each week free of charge. Please go to the Everyone Active
world sometimes. It’s a big city on a peninsula, however
which has seen the city produce a wealth of talent in
website for more information.
this can create a strong local following for its sport and
various different disciplines, particularly since the turn of
music, and maintains its own identity in doing so.
the millennium. We do have our claims to fame, good and bad, but Plymouth is a city that recently has had a bit more
Geographically the longest journey for any two sides
to shout about, namely the £46.5 million investment in the
to travel in the Football League is Carlisle United and
Plymouth Life Centre. Plymouth University is home to over 50 sports clubs, and
Plymouth Argyle. A whopping 779 mile round journey for teams and fans alike, making midweek games for the fans incredibly difficult to get to, but true to form this doesn’t stop them. As a fanatical sports fan and long term Plymouth resident I wanted to take the time to write something for people new to the area, about what the city offers in this field. Take
The Teams
The city council funded Life Centre houses an Olympic
over a hundred more societies featuring all your standard
standard swimming and diving facility which has become
fare in Football, Rugby, Athletics, Cricket and Swimming.
a training base for world class medallists from Canada,
However for the more intrepid and curious of you there is
Lithuania, Ghana and of course our own Tom Daley, a
Cheerleading, Clay Pigeon Shooting, Skateboarding, Lacrosse
Plymouth native. No doubt the success of the 2012 London
and even an Ultimate Frisbee club. Again all this information
Olympic Games, and more recently in Rio, has given younger
is on the University webpage. Personally I think being part
athletes a chance to try out the facilities and become perhaps part of the next generation of Olympians.
this as an introduction and brief overview of spectator sports, amateur and professional games in Plymouth, and
The Life Centre has a fun pool open to all, indoor climbing
the ways in which you can get involved.
walls, badminton, football, bowls, roller-skating and much
of a team is an excellent way of feeling part of something greater than one’s self, there’s a last gang in town mentality, like being in a band or political movement, and is of course an excellent way to meet like minded folk.
twenty five
sports Plymouth Raiders Photo by Jake Lewis jakelewisphotography.blogspot.com
SPORTS CITY FAC T
F A C T
Plymouth Raiders have an academy programme offering young players the opportunity to train with the squad and even the possibility for two inductees to progress to the first team. Information can be found at www.raidersacademy.com
Although Plymouth Albion RFC was established in 1920 it’s roots go back much further. Albion started as the merging of two Plymouth based teams, Plymouth RFC and Devonport Albion RFC, both originally founded in 1876. Fixtures and ticket information available at www.plymouthalbion.com
Beyond campus, the city is home to League Two’s “greatest”,
is only a short walk from the city centre. Give it a try (again,
Plymouth Argyle FC. The “Greens” play their home games at
sorry no pun intended).
Home Park, situated in Central Park, a stone’s throw from the centre of town, an all-seater stadium that can hold 17,800 at
The city also has a wealth of amateur teams which are always
capacity.
looking for new recruits. Plymouth Blitz is an American Football team set up by Plymouth University that compete
Plymouth Pavilions is home to Plymouth Raiders Basketball
nationally.
team. The Raiders, (or Plymouth University Raiders, due
The Spirit Sport is a thriving aspect of local culture the whole word over. It can transcend race, religion, gender and language, Plymouth is no exception.
to their involvement and sponsorship of the side) are a
The Plymouth Mariners are and adult Baseball club that
professional team that play in the British Basketball League.
play as part of the newly formed independent South West
Us sports fans and can get a bad name sometimes. The
Now anyone that hasn’t been to a basketball game is really
Baseball League, which they have dominated in previous
“hooligan”, the “jock”, the “know all”, but this kind of
missing out, it’s a great atmosphere with a real essence of
seasons. They play at Central Park diamond (right next to
negativity is completely shunned by the huge majority of
the stateside showmanship you see in the major leagues.
Home Park).
spectators and supporters I see. Loyalty, friendship, unity and a healthy dose of blind faith are prevalent. Hope to see
Lightshow, furry mascot, cheerleaders, music, the whole nine yards. Give them a shot, no pun intended.
Several amateur field hockey teams also operate in the city, the
you at a game. GREEN ARMY!
largest and most successful being the based at UCP Marjon. For a detailed look at sport in the local area go to
Now I’m not going to pretend I’m a Rugby connoisseur, I never was much of a player, however The Brickfields is home to
For further reading on finding your local pitch, court, green,
www.southwestsportsnews.com, and follow them on Twitter
National League One side Plymouth Albion RFC. They have
swimming pool or skate park go to the Sport & Recreation
@swsportsnews for the most up to date coverage.
an 8,500 capacity stadium, which has been their home since
section on the plymouth.gov.uk website. This also gives
moving from Beacon Park back in 2003. The Brickfields also
detailed information on sports development in the city as
has it’s own athletics stadium adjacent to Albion. Again this
well as extended information on how to get involved.
twenty six
food
P E R F E C T PA ST I E S Recipe by ANDREW GIRDLER
B E E F PA ST Y For the pastry 125g chilled and diced butter 125g lard 500g plain flour, plus extra 1 egg, beaten
L EEK , C H EESE & P O T A T O P A S T Y
For the filling 350g beef skirt or chuck steak, finely chopped 1 large onion, finely chopped 2 medium potatoes, peeled, thinly sliced 175g swede, peeled, finely diced 1 tbsp freshly ground black pepper
2 small potato (about 300g/11oz), cut into 1cm cubes knob of butter 2 small leek, tough outer leaves removed, split in half lengthways and finely sliced 3 thyme sprigs, leaves chopped 1 tbsp Dijon mustard
2 tbsp cream flour, for dusting 500g block shortcrust pastry 140g/ 5oz Welsh Caerphilly cheese, strong cheddar or vegetarian alternative, cut into small chunks 1 egg, beaten
M ethod
M ethod
Prep: 30 mins • Cook: 55 mins • Serves 4
Prep: 30 mins • Cook: 45 mins • Serves 6
1. Rub the butter and lard into the flour with a pinch of salt using your fingertips or a food processor, then blend in 6 tbsp cold water to make a firm dough. Cut equally into 4, then chill for 20 mins. 2. Heat oven to 220C/fan 200C/gas 7. Mix together the filling ingredients with 1 tsp salt. Roll out each piece of dough on a lightly floured surface until large enough to make a round about 23cm across – use a plate to trim it to shape. Firmly pack a quarter of the filling along the centre of each round, leaving a margin at each end. Brush the pastry all the way round the edge with beaten egg, carefully draw up both sides so that they meet at the top, then pinch them together to seal. Lift onto a non-stick baking tray and brush with the remaining egg to glaze. 3. Bake for 10 mins, then lower oven to 180C/fan 160C/gas 4 and cook for 45 mins more until golden. Great served warm.
1. Cook the potatoes in boiling, salted water for 5-8 mins until tender, but still holding
TRY OUR “FISH OF THE DAY” IT’S LOCAL - IT’S FRESH IT’S FROM THE MARKET DAILY
Senior Citizens Fish and Chips and a nice cup of tea for just
£4.20
Lunchtimes & Evenings (or take it away for £3.80)
OPENING TIMES Lunch: Mon-Sat 11.30am-1.50pm Evenings: Mon-Sat 5pm-9.30pm Sunday 5pm-8.30pm How Fish and Chips have been since 1913
20% Student discount
take away menu chips chips with dip cod haddock local cod local hake local pollack plaice lemon sole scampi fish cake
1.90 2.40 3.70 4.00 4.40 4.50 4.00 4.00 4.20
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their shape. Meanwhile, melt the butter in a large saucepan. Add the leeks and thyme and soften for 10-12 mins. Drain potatoes and add to the leeks with the mustard and plenty of seasoning. Stir in the cream and leave to cool a little. 2. Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. On a floured surface, roll out the pastry to the thickness of a £1 coin. Use a side plate or a bowl as a template to cut out 6 x 15cm circles. Mix the cheese with the leek mixture and pile a mound of the mix onto the centre of each pastry circle. Brush around edges with a little egg, then bring edges together and crimp with your fingers to seal. 3. Place pasties on a baking tray lined with baking parchment, brush with the remaining egg and bake for 40-45 mins until golden brown. Serve warm or leave to cool.
RACKET FROM THE PIT
twenty eight
racket from the pit / game review
by Darren Johns, lead singer of Crazy Arm & photography by Greenbeanz Photography
Femcore bands are on the warpath and it’s a joy to behold, especially when they’re as incendiary and intense as Baltimore’s WAR AGAINST WOMEN (Junction, 2nd Aug). Apart from one unfortunate moment of mob-rule misadventure, it’s bands like this who ensure that hardcore doesn’t become the machismo-sodden boys club it repeatedly descends into. Decidedly un-macho men, WALNUT FALCONS, played their last ever show and it was a beaut (Nowhere juke joint, 25th Aug). The Plymouth band’s command of country and bluegrass took on a celebratory hue as they harmonised and honky-tonked to perfection, honouring the legacy of Willie, Johnny and Hank along the way. Canada multi-faith indie-rockers, MEWITHOUTYOU, were a revelation; gracefully seesawing between euphoric highs and tearful lows (Junction, 27th Aug).
Game review
by Matthew Girdler, computing graduate from Plymouth University
XBOX ONE/PS4/PC INSIDE
/ developed BY PLAYDEAD
Andrew Stanton, Oscar-winning director of Finding Nemo and WALL-E, describes storytelling without dialogue as “the purest form of cinematic storytelling”. It’s a powerful technique which is used to great effect in Pixar films, perhaps none more so than the heartbreaking intro to Up. Unfortunately, most games instead opt for exposition-filled cutscenes and audio logs to tell their stories. Now imagine if Pixar turned their talents to creating a bleak, speechless world filled with mindcontrol devices, science experiments and gruesome death. Picture that and you’ve got something close to Inside, a 2D puzzleplatformer from Playdead, makers of 2010’s critically-acclaimed Limbo. The game opens in a gloomy forest with the protagonist, an unnamed boy, being hunted by gunmen and vicious dogs. No explanations are given about the boy’s
Openers, YNDI HALDA, stretched pensive post-rock soundscapes to breaking point and ended their set with a truly sublime, hand-held bell-ringing finale that, for a few minutes, felt like God herself was nibbling our ears with her pearly whites. My band of merry men, CRAZY ARM, played our first hometown show in forever (Junction, 28th Aug). I’ll hand you over to Dan Shelby, who proffered this succinct review of us: “Fockin class.” Thanks. Steampunkin’ slaughterhouseblues duo, THE WATTINGERS, wrestled with technical gremlins as they spun their brilliantly oddball redneck yarns with a nod to Ministry, splatter-movies and Tom Waits; KING COLOBUS delightfully darkened the mood with their two-parts Queens of the Stone Age, one-part gothic melodrama; and openers, local boys, TRIPPER, frolicked at will between the rhythmic nous of Fugazi and the heaviosity of Torche. An outstanding debut.
(Junction, 31st Aug) on a webzine recently. It was a hatchet job that wilfully mistook the band’s aggressive self-defence for misandry, and also failed to mention that Petrol Girls rocked hard. Needless to say, the band’s hardline feminist stance was inspirational, and they rocked so fucking hard it hurt. PERKIE’s gently melancholic piano balladry was the perfect foil to PG’s animus; while Cornish grungeniks, HONEY, spat out succulent Cobain-inspired riffs like a malfunctioning tennis ball machine.
Miserable Wretch
Petrol Girls
There was a particularly scathing review of PETROL GIRLS’ Plymouth performance
It may be the 40th anniversary of Punk™ but Plymouth Punx Picnic celebrated its 20th year in true DIY fashion. I missed the first night (soz) but arrived at the Junction (9th Sept) in time to catch SPLINK ploughing a decent enough furrow in almost-2 Tone nearly-ska. Punking things up a notch or five were ANGRY ITCH with a solid bruising noise, but it was MISERABLE WRETCH who stole the show, combining nu-grrrl politics with disjointed, no-wave sonics. Enduring anarchos, VIRUS, topped things off with a decent mid-tempo slice of aural insurgency.
I missed Saturday night (double soz) and resumed on the Sunday (Thistle, 11th Sept) where Bristol politico-punks, SPANNER, were doling out simplistic shoutalong anthems to a zealous throng. They had me up until they dissed Peaky Blinders. Someone clearly forgot to tell them that you don’t fuck with the Peaky Blinders. Local loons, POPULATION PODS, have been around for a while and their comedy thrash was as juvenile and jocular as ever. But where would punx picnix be without the perennial 2 SICK MONKEYS and their deranged prodding of NoMeansNo with Stiff Little Fingers? And if singer/bassist, Pete Butler’s lovingly ferocious, gravel-voiced banter doesn’t win you over, nothing will. The last band of the weekend were old-skoolies, THE CLEANERS, whose array of classic punk rock covers (with a smidgen of originals) included at least five Clash songs. Being tipsy and an unashamed Clashite meant that I spent more time onstage than off, which I can only apologise for. But shan’t. See-ya bye.
2 Sick Monkeys
whereabouts, why he’s there, where he’s heading or why he’s being hunted. The player is left to make their own mind up using the limited information presented to them. Even after completing the game, finding all collectibles and unlocking the secret ending, I still have unanswered questions about the world of Inside. To leave things so ambiguous was clearly a deliberate decision by the developers, and one which will divide players, but I found this added to the game’s mysterious appeal. Inside has a monochromatic visual style similar to the one seen in Limbo, but it’s executed far more beautifully here. Although the gameplay is limited to two dimensions, the environments are 3D and detailed. Playdead are masters at using cinematic techniques in games: they expertly utilise lighting, sound design, animation and framing to convey information and emotion to the player. For example, an early sequence in the game sees the boy floating in a lake. A huge dam looms in the background and on top, several men shining their on the water below. This tells the player everything they need to know - stay below the water to avoid being shot to pieces - and it does so without saying a word. There are more subtle examples, such as the boy’s muted gasp at the sight of something horrible, or the way he presses his hands up to the glass when he’s looking through a window. It adds up to a really immersive and believable world. Initially, the boy has a limited moveset
of running, jumping and grabbing, but as you progress new, clever mechanics are introduced which add some variety to the gameplay. It’s easy to imagine other developers including dozens of puzzles around each of these mechanics, but there’s a sense that Playdead did the same and threw out everything but the best. Obviously I don’t know if this true, but either way the result is a collection of puzzles that strike the perfect balance of being challenging without being frustrating. Anyone who played Limbo will remember the frequent, graphic deaths of its young protagonist - Inside is no different. Many times death is unavoidable, and the disturbing sight of the boy being killed is something you never really get used to. This all may sound unnecessary and even a bit sadistic, but death actually plays a vital part in the gameplay. With every death, you learn something new about your surroundings,
and the unsettling feeling you get ensures you’ll take extra steps to avoid repeating the same mistake next time. Inside is a short-lived experience: the story took me roughly four hours to complete, and that includes getting all the collectibles. Given the game’s length and similarity to Limbo, you’d be forgiven for asking why it took six years to create. But that time was well-spent: you can tell that every second of the game was tweaked and improved over time to end up that way. In the six years since Limbo’s release, Playdead have certainly honed their craft. Although Inside lacks the surprise and impact of its predecessor, they’ve improved on the formula in practically every way. I just hope we don’t have to wait another six years for the next chapter from this increasingly exciting studio.
MUSIC REVIEWS by Seth Haney
CURRENT FEMEJISM / DEAP VALLEY NEVADO RECORDS
What’s the best way to avoid the cliche, lame-o questions of being women in a band? Name your album in a way that’s going to cause confrontation from the start, challenge that bullshit patriarchal thinking and make a record that jumps out of speakers as if it’s ready to burn down the whole fucking world. Until now, Deap Vally have mined the rock duo seam in a methodical, workperson way. A few good songs but never blowing minds. On Femejism, they break free of major label shackles and get themselves into a position where they can make an independent statement. It works. Gonnawanna plays like a red hot manifesto, kicking ass down to the
twenty nine challenged social issues in late-eighties America.
fade out. Post Funk gets into a tight little groove, filling out every corner with greasy guitars. Teenage Queen has enough swagger to floor ISIS in one fell swoop. This is a serious artistic statement that packs enough surprises and songwriting succulence for most bands to feel ashamed at their own lacklustre attempts. Make no mistake, Femejism pulls no punches. Buy it.
CLASSIC RHY THM NAT ION 1814 / JANET JACKSON A & M RECORDS
By 1989, Janet Jackson had already shown up her brother by releasing Control in 1986 and providing the true follow-up to Thriller. Something that Michael really agonised over the rest of that decade. After MJ had dicked around with making Bad, his sister knocked out Rhythm Nation in half the time with a concept album that
Rhythm Nation pulses with the samples, synth basslines and plenty of new jack swing thanks to the producing talents of Jam & Lewis. There’s a glimpse into what the 90s would bring for R&B, this is the blueprint right here. It’s a real legacy record.
music reviews / dust piggies control and attempt to decipher the cryptic lyrics within.
Eyetest opens at the farthest point from this dimension, crawling out of a wormhole, tendrils sticky wet as it prepares to invade your listening space. Sinister synth sounds are augmented by guitar and glorious lo-fi drums and you are sucked into a stereophonic repetition that takes you into the dark recesses of your own subconscious.
It suffers a little from a lack of editing. No album ever needs to be longer than 45 minutes, right? And in parts, it sounds as dated as 1989 can sound. But still, Janet’s talent and credibility was in ascension just as her brother started a very slow decline. Plenty of talent in that Jackson family, this record is part of that gold standard.
LOCAL
TECHNIQUE / WYFOFBATH
WYFOFBATH pick up where Damerels left off, eyeing distant stars as their psych rocket plows further into the deepest regions of ink black space. While they’re a band that need to be seen live, due to their immense sound, it’s fun to be in charge of the volume
These boys aren’t fucking around. It takes you further into the void and the creepy synths scream like tormented banshees, giving their edge to the music that no analogue instrument could. There’s a real sense of macabre and malaise in these songs that stick with you for hours, days, weeks after hearing them. WYFOFBATH stir up the mud in your mind and you never quite feel the same after experiencing them for the first time. I think they take quite a lot joy from that. Those magnificent, sonic bastards.
w w w.dustpiggie s.com
thirty
agony aunt ellie
AGONY AUNT ELLIE Ellie likes tea, cats and tie-dye. She doesn’t like snakes and when her friends are sad. We thought that was the best criteria for an agony aunt we’d ever heard. If you would like Ellie to help with your problems, you can email us at hello@ps-zine.com Dear Ellie, I’m a bit worried about a friend of mine. He’s recently jumped into a relationship with a new partner, and I don’t think it’s very healthy. They moved in together after 3 weeks, and over the past few months I’ve not really seen him at all. His boyfriend is nice enough, but my friend seems really on edge around him. A while back, he told me that he thought his partner was controlling and could be a bit heavy handed, but he’s now saying that he was wrong to say those things and that everything is fine. I’ve looked online at the signs of an abusive relationship, and I’m worried he might be in one. Is there anything I can do to help? This is tricky. For one, your friend says they are ok, so any help you do try to offer might be construed as interference rather than friendly concern. Nobody likes a shit stirrer, particularly where their relationship is perceived to be under attack. I don’t doubt that you are seeking my help with anything but the kindest of intentions, but I would advise you to tread carefully when it comes to matters such as this. One thing I will point out before I wax lyrical about the wrongs and rights of relationships, is the danger of the google; specifically SELF DIAGNOSIS. I probably self diagnose some form of cancer on a weekly basis. Possibly more often than that. To the extent that I’ve ended up in hospital being prodded and poked in….well…places. I do NOT have a life threatening disease, but a few simple online questionnaires had me planning my own funeral. My point is: before you start suggesting that your friend, or anybody, is in an abusive relationship, check first that they’re not just dehydrated… Ok, so to break the rest down…unless you’ve consented to the heavier end of the sexy spectrum, being heavy handed is not cool. Ergo, if there isn’t a safety word, you shouldn’t be hitting your lover. Hearing that your friend has reported such things happening in their relationship does give cause for concern, so it might be worth keeping an eye on him. Sadly, it’s difficult to monitor physical signs of abuse when someone is wearing clothes, but if you do notice anything, perhaps tactfully ask how he got hurt. Similarly, be aware of any behavioural changes – social isolation, changes in drinking/drug habits, anxiety etc… Do not, however, actively seek to find these things. As humans we have a nasty habit of seeing what we want to see when actually there is nothing there at all. Seeing your friend less frequently than you did pre-relationship is normal – he might just fancy a nice, romantic bang, and I’m assuming this doesn’t fall within your remit… As for your friend being ‘on edge’ around his partner, have you considered that perhaps he might just be embarrassed? I doubt he has forgotten about ranting to you about his ‘controlling and heavy handed’ boyfriend, and it’s plausible that he deeply regrets painting him in such a negative light. This isn’t to negate the possibility that at the time your friend did believe he was being mistreated, but as with any such accusations (and also to play devil’s advocate) I think it would be sensible to consider that your friend may have just exaggerated what could have been nothing more than a nasty argument. Of course, on the other end of the spectrum, there is a chance that your friend has been pressured into retracting his previous comments, and is indeed being gaslighted by his partner – abuse takes many forms, and emotional abuse can be difficult to detect, particularly when the victim denies any wrongdoing. If you have real cause to be worried, and are not merely speculating, the best course of action would be to contact the police and let them take care of it. If his partner is violent, you
are as much at risk of harm as your friend is, and you need to protect yourself. I’m sorry I can’t offer more useful advice. Clearly you care about your friend, but in general I would advise you to be cautious about delving into others’ relationships. I am not for a second suggesting that an abusive relationship is something to be ignored, and, at a moral level at least, we do have a duty of care to your friend. Unless you feel your friend is at immediate risk of harm, for now let your friend know that you are there for them should they need you, stay alert to any physical or behavioural changes, and try not to pry too much. He has come to your before, and hopefully he will come to you again if he needs you.
Dear Ellie, I’m about to go into my final year at university, and I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life when I finish. If I’m honest, I’ve spent most of the past two years messing around. I’ve hardly been to any lectures, and although I’ve had a really good time with my friends, I don’t really feel like I’ve learnt anything yet. I’m averaging a 2:2 at the moment, and my parents will go mental at me if I don’t finish with a First. I feel pretty embarrassed…is there anything you can suggest to help me through my last year of uni?! Sorry to burst your bubble, pal, but if you think I can offer you an overnight remedy to get you from slacker to high achiever without some SERIOUSLY hard work, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Most degree programmes are structured such that your final 2nd year grade contributes around 30% of your overall grade, which in turn determines your degree classification. Generally speaking, in order to achieve a 1st, you’ll have to score 70%; if you’re bumbling along at a 2:2 you’ll need to aim to average around 78% on all remaining submissions in order to scrape the higher degree classification. This is not impossible, but it does mean you’re going to have to work pretty bloody hard for the next few months. (Nagging over). (Soz). I’m not about to outline any study tips for you. These are easily googled, although one might hope that after 2 years at university you are capable of reading and writing and so on… What I will say, is that too much pressure from your folks could be damaging to your overall success, and perhaps this is something that needs to be confronted before you slip into dissertation hell and forget how to human for the next little while (This will definitely happen. You will also probably end up smelling pretty bad for a bit. Showering can wait, deadlines can’t). Of course your parents want the best for you, and of course they want you to achieve the highest possible award for your efforts, but a gentle reminder to them, and yourself, that university is as much about personal growth and social engagement as it is academia, might help to soften the blow should you not get the golden grade at the end of the year. As for not knowing what to do with your life…welcome to adulthood! It’s taken me 30 years to figure out what I want to do. I have friends in their 40s who still don’t know. I don’t think any of us really know where our lives are going as we near the end of a degree (why do you think so many people do a Masters?!). Most people just fall into career paths as and when suitable opportunities present themselves. And they will present themselves, just like that relationship that always comes along when you’re ‘so happy being single’. Ugh. Most important is to find something that you enjoy, or at the very least doesn’t drive you to spending your Sunday nights pondering interesting ways to end your life so as to not have to go in to work on a Monday morning. For now settle in to the final
stretch of your academic hell race; the future will take care of itself. It’s time to take control and to make a few sacrifices. You’ve partied the last two years away, so put your social commitments on the back burner and hit the books. Your friends will understand – frankly they’ll probably be doing the same thing! Consider the library your new home, and your lecturers your new best friends. If you haven’t understood something, TELL THEM. They won’t bite, and you’ll stand a better chance of finishing on a high. Stay focused, sleep when you can, and stock up on coffee. You’ve got this. Good luck! Dear Ellie, I’m having an affair. Well, I’m not, but the person I am involved with has a boyfriend. It’s been going on for a while now, and for the most part I’m ok with the sneaking around. The problem is, we keep talking about getting together properly – she says she’ll dump her boyfriend and we can be a couple –but then a few days later I get the silent treatment, only to discover that they’re back on track leaving me on my own wondering what the hell is going on. I know she’s taken, and I shouldn’t have got involved, but I’m in love with her, and I’m pretty sure she loves me too. It’s got me feeling really depressed, and I want to know if there is any point holding on. What should I do? I’ll keep this short and sweet, because the chances are that everything I am going to say has gone through your head a million and one times. She. Doesn’t. Love. You. I’m sorry. If she did, she would be with you. No amount of sneaking around and empty promises will change the fact that you are being used. You are a toy, only to be played with when the boyfriend is busy, or boring, or pissing her off. Why on earth would you wait around for this long for something that will never EVER amount to anything more than your own heart ache? Tell me, when was the last time this girl did something spontaneous or romantic for you? When was the last time you spent the night together? Christ, when was the last time you were allowed to kiss her in public or even hold her hand? You are a secret, and there is a reason for that. To her, you are not worth the risk of going public. To her, you are second best. And you always will be. I get it. The unavailable ones are always the most appealing. Hell knows I’ve chased after enough guys with girlfriends in the past. And you know who ended up looking like a dickhead? Me….every. fucking. time. Kudos to you for having the balls to stick around and wait for the result you’re looking for, but I say enough is enough. Get out while your heart is still intact, before you crack under the pressure and turn to stone from the inside out. You’re already feeling depressed. She isn’t. She’s laughing at you while you lap up every excuse she dishes out to you about why she can’t leave her bloke. Poor guy… Give up the secret life bullshit, and find someone who doesn’t want to keep you hidden from the world. Tinder it the fuck up, and get back in the saddle. Bollocks to the greedy girlfriend. You deserve better, and it’s about time she realised that. Fin. Dear Ellie, Will a boy ever be born who can swim as fast as a shark? Not really my area of expertise, but theoretically I suppose a severely disabled/ finless shark might be beaten by a boy in a race. Does Michael Phelps have a son..? It’s a resounding ‘maybe’. That’s all I’ve got.
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