Praise and Coffee Magazine Winter 2012

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Starting Over!

Better, Stronger, Thinner More! Helping Women Escape the Sex Industry

COATS! When Desperate Feelings Swallow Us Praise and Coffee | Winter 2012


Praise and

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d Coffee

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Praise and Coffee Magazine A quarterly online publication. Founder and Editor

Sue Cramer Co-Editor

Denise Dykstra Submission Guidelines: 1. Anyone is welcome to submit articles or testimonies. 2. Submissions by women who have attended or hosted a Praise and Coffee event will be considered first 3. Testimonies can be personal or connected to your experience at a Praise and Coffee event. 4. Articles that will be considered are to be encouraging and inspiring. 5. Length of submission should be 400-1,000 words. This can be negotiated for feature articles. 6. Submissions will be read and considered among the Editor and coEditor. 7. We do not pay for articles, they are on a volunteer basis. 8. Submissions should be in “Times New Roman” #12 font. 9. Submissions need to be emailed as an attachment and include: Name Email Website (if applies) Short (100 words or less) bio 11. Email submissions to our Co-Editor:

6| Editor’s Note 8| One Word 365 ~ Alece Ronzina 10| Better, Stronger, Thinner ~ Lisa Velthouse 12| Actions Speak Louder Than Words ~Helping Women Escape the Sex Industry ~ Laura Lasky 18| Happy New Year from Praise and Coffee Nights Leaders ~ Melissa Mashburn 22| Taking Much Needed Girl Time ~ Denise Dykstra 24| When Desperate Feelings Swallow Us ~ Lisa Lehman 30| Mandy Young’s Story 35| Friendship Lessons from the Trenches ~ Mary Snyder 38| Fashion Café’ with Big Mama ~ Melanie Shankle 44| She Laughs ~ Holly Smith 46| Praise and Coffee Nights Unplugged ~ Ronel Sidney 48| Praise and Coffee Cooks: Chicken Tettrazini~ Sarah Short 52| Love Redeems Our Grief ~ Tracee Persiko 54| Interview: Heather Williams ~ Denise Dykstra 58| Encouragement for Today with Ronel 62| Digital Detox ~ Denise Dykstra 68| Lessons From Lauren

Denise@PraiseandCoffee.com For advertising info, contact Sue at: Sue@PraiseAndCoffee.com See website for submission schedule. 4

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Winter 2012 Volume 2~Issue 2

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Even though I cherish Christmas, I love the feeling when all the decorations are put back in their tubs and loaded up in the loft. The whole house feels clean and liberated, no longer strangled by boughs of holly. It’s a good feeling, like that of: A new coat of paint.

A new jar of peanut butter. Sorry, but I love it don’t you? There’s nothing like being the first one to dip a spoon...er…I mean run a knife through a freshly opened jar of peanut butter. We all love a fresh start don’t we? Sometimes the everyday stuff of life is like a walk through a barn full of animals.

A fresh snow. Clean sheets. An empty dishwasher.

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Messy and unpredictable. But then we peer over the stall door to see a mare just given birth to a foal. The stench and mess of the barn is forgotten for the moment as we witness the precious wobbly new life attempting its first try at vertical. It stumbles and falls and our hearts cheer as it stands on four legs for the very first time. I’ve seen it, it’s beautiful. It fills a heart with hope of new beginnings. There are no colts or fillies in this issue, but stories of real women facing real pain and how they let God bring new life into messy and unpredictable situations. I pray, along with the women in this issue, that you will find hope in these pages. That their stories would help you trust in God more deeply than before you read them. I have no desire to fix you…only to inspire you to reach out to the hand that’s extended in mercy towards you at this very moment.

Live. Laugh. Love… while drinking coffee of course! Sue Cramer Founder of Praise and Coffee Ministry Sue@PraiseandCoffee.com

Let His grace and forgiveness pour over you afresh today. With love,

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willing

T R U Sembrace T

redemptive joy

hope

WORD abide

COMMITTED

uncomfortable

A few years ago I came to grips with the fact

But as frightening as the word was, I was in awe

that I’m not a New Year’s resolutions girl.

at how much it truly impacted my year. It guid-

Oh, I tried hard to be. I really did. Historically, I set goals and wrote out my resolutions. But a few months later – or, let’s be honest, a few weeks later — when I couldn’t even remember

ed my decisions. Determined my steps. Helped me share my heart. It spurred me on. Challenged me. Inspired me. I loved it and I hated it, but I didn’t forget it.

what my resolutions were, I felt like a miserable

It was just one word. But it made a huge differ-

failure.

ence in my year and in my life.

So a few years back, I made peace with the fact

I blogged about it at the start of the year, and

that I don’t work that way, and I came up with

quite a few people decided to join me in the

my own personal non-resolution resolution.

One Word challenge. Together, we encouraged

I chose one word to focus on for the entire year. No list. No goals. No specifics. Just one word. And I committed to remain mindful of it all

and spurred one another on throughout the year. We all routinely blogged about our journeys and processed through what our word was teaching us.

year. In typical crazy-me fashion, I jumped in the deep end with my word choice. My One Word for that first year? Risk. Yeah, I know.

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abandonment

NEW

DO Focus

love

follow praise

peace

One Word again, and I was overwhelmed by the

Learn more about the One Word 365 community and link up your blog to participate in 2012

flood of people who decided to brave this jour-

at OneWord365.com.

At the start of this past year, I blogged about

ney with me. At last count, the community grew to over 300 people strong. It was incredible to follow along with the tweets and blog posts all year, watching everyone live everyday with great intentionality. And reading through their year-end wrap-up blog posts just leaves me amazed at the power one word can have in our lives. If we’ll let it. So... Will you let it? Choose just one word.

Alece Ronzino

One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live or what you want to achieve by the end of 2012. One word that you can focus on every day, all year long. It will take hard work, and will require intentionality and commitment. But if you let it, your word will shape you and your year. It will guide your decisions and help you grow.

Alece is in the middle of the biggest Plan B of her life, enduring infidelity, divorce, and the loss of her ministry in Africa. Now she's rediscovering what faith really is, trusting God to redeem the broken pieces of her life and make something beautiful out of her ashes. Alece blogs candidly about the grit and glory of her journey. Mostly grit. Alece’s blog: GritandGlory.com Tiwtter: @gritandglory

Discover the big impact one word can make. One word. 365 days. A life changed.

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PURSUE

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Better, Stronger, Thinner, More? Keeping Space for Grace in 2012 It’s a fickle thing that can happen, this shift from Christmas into a sparkling New Year. There are only six days between O Holy Night and Auld Lang Syne, yet it could be said that we who sing the songs are vastly changed from one melody to the other. 10

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We start at grace: God’s good gift of a savior. We celebrate this for weeks, with everything from blinking bulbs and tinsel strings to candlelight services and nativity sets. It is a whole season of mindfulness, remembering and rejoicing in the Gift. Of course we remember. Of course we rejoice. We are sinners in need of a savior. We were lost forever until he found us from his place in that dirty, shabby Bethlehem manger. He wore our rags from his first incarnate breaths. Oh night divine! But by the time our Christmas trees are detrimmed and hauled out to curbs, we might already be forgetting we are people with a great need who live under great grace. Without even thinking to consider what’s happening, we stow the Gift away somewhere with our ornament boxes, because the calendar is turning and now it’s time for resolutions. In January, we turn our focus to strength. We will improve on the past year. We will kick our bad habits and muscle beyond the things that stymied us before. We will lose the weight. We will clean out the garage. We will read our Bible every day. We are capable of this—we know we are. The only hitch up till this point is that we haven’t tried enough, haven’t stuck with the effort. There is nothing theologically wrong with resolving to change—that is, there’s nothing off track about it, necessarily. Christ is our strength, and in him we can become more than we would ever, without him, hope to be. But putting emphasis on our good efforts is a slippery winter slope that can slide us miles and miles away from the center of things. The good news is the center. We call the good news good because it is delivered into a pit of need. Each of us misses the ultimate mark ultimately; our own capabilities are never enough. “For all have sinned and fall short…” (Romans 3:23.) 11

What we need most and what we most long to be, we are on our own unable to reach. Oh, but we are people who prefer to think about effort, success, and accomplishments. We are goal-setters and overachievers. Optimists, when it comes to ourselves. We are good folks who make resolutions and who expect we’ll be capable of keeping them. So, with December gone, we risk losing sight of the basic truth of who we are and of what God has done. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish… ” (John 3:16.) Love has saved us from sin and from our sinful selves! Christ wore our filth so we could wear his righteousness! It is an all-year story. Have you resolved to start up a healthy exercise habit in 2012? Fantastic. Have you set your sights on deeper church involvement? Great. Are you going to work on cutting some carbs, reducing some debt, or making more phone calls home to Mom and Dad? Go for it. May God give you what you need to glorify him in keeping your word. But if you cannot also keep your eyes on God’s grace, nothing of lasting value will be gained by changes made in a year. This Gift, Jesus, is the point—any goodness we ourselves strive for can’t add anything to it. Our focus and our efforts must always be lit by the fact that God’s mercies are new every morning and needed every morning too. Lisa Velthouse is an author and speaker based in San Diego, California. Her latest book, a memoir, is Craving Grace: A Story

of Faith, Failure, and My Search for Sweetness (Tyndale House.)

You can find her blog and all her social media handles at: lisavelthouse.com.

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Actions Spea

Helping women escap 12

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ak Louder Than Words I

was 18 when I came to faith in

Christ. At the age of 20, I was in full time ministry. I married a pastor at 22 and at almost 29 was sitting across from him while he told he wanted a divorce. After years of verbal, emotional and spiritual abuse, my husband had decided to present me with a question which he knew would result in "no" for an answer;

“would I allow him to have a mistress and still remain married to me?� He was a porn addict and had long since left the ministry. His question was the catalyst of what the next 3 years of my life would look like. And while I wholly own my part in this, addiction, impulsive behavior and brokenness had ruled him while I allowed fear and building anger to rule mine. Together, we were the walking wounded.

pe the SEX industry 13

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After he left, I was faced with debts I had no knowledge of, no car, no home and a limited income. After 3 months of crying out to God for help, something in me snapped and anger, mixed with desperation helped me to make choices that only the Lord could redeem. At almost 29, I wrote God a letter apologizing for what I was about to do. I signed it, wept, sealed it in an envelope and then made a call to begin working as a phone sex operator and escort that night.

At the time there was nothing we knew of to help the sex worker community to transition out of this work or more so, to simply love us where we were, as we were. We longed for a safe place to talk, share and build relationships outside of my living room over coffee.

...and then made a call to begin working as a phone sex operator and escort that night.

Between clients I would read my bible (I also tithed and went to church). And while some may argue with this, I can say for myself, that in this season, I came to know my Savior and Lord in a way I had always wanted to but never thought I could. Even though I was a walking contradiction, I was finally being honest with God and myself for the first time in years. I was accurately aware of what I was doing, my motivation and of His presence. Almost immediately, I began to hear personal stories from the men and women I worked with. Many came from a Faith-based background and even more didn't. When people would express a desire to leave the industry, there was always hope, fear and hesitation.

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After a year and a half of seeing and hearing this and still living in a grey area, I made a promise to the Lord. I told Him that if I was ever able to leave this industry alive and sane, that I would do anything that He would allow me to for those who are sex workers. When I left 18 months later, He allowed me time to heal and rest from it all and then He called me on my deal...

In the summer of 2008, I was planning my wedding to my second (and last!) husband. I received an email and call asking to share my story about being a person of Faith who also happened to be a former sex worker. I said yes and then, shortly after our wedding, I worked for a season with an organization that would serve as my proving ground for this type of ministry. All the while, I was home in San Francisco, having countless divine appointments with men and women who work within the adult industry. Meeting and befriending these amazing men and women cultivated a desire to do something that would be built on not only our Faith, but on the belief that actions speak louder than words.

Praise and Coffee | Winter 2012


We visit and are welcomed at all strip Along with a group of friends on Hallowclubs in San Francisco, meet with dozeen night 2008, solaceSF was born. ens of escorts, film actors and others armed with old school orange plastic within the sex worker community and pumpkins filled with candy necklaces, offer them what I still recall wanting not ring pops, lip gloss and assorted so long ago. We are fortunate to have a 'treats', we visited every strip club in team of volunteers who partner with us town that would let us in...And every to offer our ladies and gents medical one we visited, welcomed us - even if care and resources, educational serthey were surprised or confused. We vices, emergency aid, counseling, tranbegan to visit them once a month, sitional services and more bringing in multiple locations them assortwhile still based in San ed gifts for I’m a former pastor's wife, Francisco. the ladies a former sex worker and a very and gents in the club and present recipient I’m a former pastor's built relationwife, a former sex workof a second chance. ships with er and a very present rethose who cipient of a second we met in chance. Our name, solace, means, "to the clubs. Our consistent visits led to comfort". We know who our Comforter trust and later, coffee and lunch meet is and I know that I’ve been entrusted ups and real friendships. Each of our lawith an opportunity to share my past dies and gents are people, not projects. and present life as it continues to unfold. In October of 2010, we launched solaceSF as a The person who led me to the not-for-profit, 501(c)3 Lord showed me who Jesus is that offers compassionlong before they ever told me ate care to the men and who He was; I experienced women working within Grace long before I ever knew the adult entertainment what it was. We exist to enindustry as well as surcourage, empower and envivors of human traflighten those we serve. I can't ficking. imagine ever doing anything else.

Laura Lasky is a wife, cupcake enthusiast, speaker and executive director of solaceSF [solaceSF.org]. Married to her best friend in the city she loves, she is passionate about grace, coffee and those that others may overlook. You can find her at her favorite coffee house in downtown San Francisco or at @solaceSF on twitter and http://facebook.com/solaceSF 15

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New POTSC Campaign “Labels Lie: Don’t Accept Them. Don’t Use Them.” The campaign’s focus is on being liberated from the prison of societies’ labels. We don’t have to live with the shame of what people have said about us. We don’t have to accept these statements as our true identity. When we judge, label, diminish and criticize each other, this becomes the fuel for shame and guilt to fester in our souls. A label says we are unworthy, flawed and unacceptable. Sadly we live in a society driven by stereotyping, gossiping, labeling and blame…and it is destroying us. Words like ugly, stupid, adulterer, addict, illegal, failure, ex-con, slut, fag and other dehumanizing labels are thrown around with no regard for how they damage. It is time to talk about shame and the toxic labels we believe about ourselves. It is time to be liberated from the lies of labels and experience the powerful truth of who we really are…Loved… Worthy…Beautiful…Accepted.

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To learn more about POTSC and this campaign: www.POTSC.com Twitter: @POTSC Facebook: People of the Second Chance 17

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Happy New Year!

Helping Anyone Start a Praise and Coffee Night! 18

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Happy New Year from the Praise & Coffee Nights Leadership Team! It's a brand NEW YEAR with lots of new beginnings coming your way! As we welcome in the New Year we want to look back and celebrate all God is doing and has done in our lives and in this ministry. What started out almost four years ago as a way to get a few girlfriends together has now blossomed into an international ministry with women meeting at different days, times, locations and sizes all over the globe. Never in a million years would any of us dare to dream what God had in store that day when He planted that idea in Sue Cramer's head, but boy are we sure glad that He did. We've seen more women connecting, caring, sharing and doing life together. Sharing their stories, their heart breaks & their victories with each other all while giving God all the glory. We've seen groups tall (2-8 ladies), grande (814) and venti (15+) sized and we've witnessed God working miracles in these women's lives. This is something that we don't take lightly...so before we move forward and see what He has in store for 2012, we wanted to just take one minute to stop and thank Him for where He has taken us from and where we are right now. You go girls...you are doing a good work and we are so thankful for each and every one of you. Your ideas, your excitement, your stories, your heart to "Connect, Encourage, Inspire" keeps us looking forward to see what new ideas God has in store for us next. Because you get the heart of what we do...you see the big picture, you know that we serve a Mighty God with perfect and amazing plans, we wanted you to be the first to know about an exciting new adventure we are releasing within the Praise and Coffee Nights ministry. 19

Every year we have tons of women emailing us about getting a PAC Night started in their neck of the woods. We get all the information to them, answer their questions, and stay connected with them, but for some reason only a small fraction of them actually get started. For months now we have been trying to see where the disconnect happens and what we can do to encourage women to step out in faith and get their PAC Night started. We've prayed about and when the leadership team got together this past October we spent an entire day dreaming, planning and praying to see what God wanted us to do to make this even easier for any women, any where at any time to do. Over the course of our time together we came up with something that we think you are going to love!

Do you want to know what it is?

If we could give you everything you need in one spot to get a Praise & Coffee Night started where you live, would you do it? What if we were to tell you that we are launching a new thing, for this new year, that would enable you, yes you, to start your own Praise & Coffee Night without having to do a lot of planning and preparation.

How much would you love that? Well, sweet friends...you are going to LOVE this...we are launching our first Praise & Coffee ebook, “How Anyone Can Start a Praise and Coffee Night�

Squeal!!!!! No seriously...do the happy clap dance with us for a minute. That's better!

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In it is everything you need to host up to six (6) Praise & Coffee Nights; which if you do them every other month is an entire year worth of PAC Nights. We've done all the work for you. Sue Cramer, Ronel Sidney and I have prepared everything you need...all you have to do is pick a location and invite a few of your girlfriends.

Our goal is to support you in whatever ways we can. We're planning on putting out new batches of the devotions/questions each year so that you can continue to "Connect, Encourage, & Inspire" the women in your community. God has so much in store for this ministry in 2012 and we can't wait to take each of you along with us on this journey. There's still more to come...make sure to look for more exciting news in the Spring issue this year.

Each PAC Night Box will have; - Six (6) PAC Night Events inside, which include; - To Get Things Brewing (Icebreakers) - Love In Action (Devotional Story/Message)

Buckle up girls...this is going to be one amazing adventure!

- Grace to Go (Follow Up Questions for Group Discussion) - An Extra Shot (Digging Deeper Questions for you to dig a little deeper on your own or with your group)

Seeking JOY on the Journey,

And, we will also be available to pop into your PAC Night, either via Skype, You Tube Video, or even possibly come and visit your group (with advance planning/notice).

Melissa Mashburn

Melissa Mashburn is the Co-Founder of the ministry of Praise and Coffee Nights Visit her website: Melissa Mashburn in Mel’s World www.MelissaMashburn.com

Watch our website for availability of the new ebook: “How Anyone Can Start a Praise and Coffee Night” Coming soon...

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March 15, 2012 Praise and Coffee Across the Nation! Schedule a Praise and Coffee Night (morning-noonnight) on this date. Invite a few friends to a coffee shop or your kitchen. Not sure what to do, we'll help you.

Webinar training for those interested (but not required) is on Jan. 26, watch the website for more details. RSVP on the event page: Praise and Coffee Nights on Facebook. Share life... connect, encourage and inspire each other!

And don't forget to take a pic of your group, we'll be sharing them in the spring Praise and Coffee Magazine.

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Sue came and sat with us and the four of us laughed to the funny stories Morg had for us. We connected with bits and news that we are always to busy to share when we are passing each other in church or just in sending a quick text. I sat there soaking it in, looking at these friends I love so dearly and thinking how different we all are and how we are Last week we had our Christmas Praise and Coffee Night in all brought together on this night. I thanked God for soakPlainwell, Michigan. ing me in His grace...in the gift of this moment. Sue Cramer was giving her testimony and I was nervous for We packed up all the pretty finery and left over cookies of a her. I know her story, but I know it here and there and I beautiful evening and headed for home. knew it would be hard for her to share it all in front of everyone in one story. Except, I didn't get home for a good long time. Standing out in the parking lot, I had a heart to heart with a But the day was rough on me. I may have at one point in friend. We hadn't planned on talking the night away, but in the day been on the phone crying to my husband. It was the moment of just us we laid out the things heavy on our just a bad day, a down day, a day I literally was crying as I hearts...sisters sharing a burden and knowing the trust we was baking cookies. had in each other. Just one of those days. I would have rather curled up in pj's and snuggled on the couch with a book or movie but I knew I had to be there. I dressed in my favorite clothes - my husband can say what he wants, clothes do make me feel better - and determined I was going to go and have fun and be happy. And then God just gave me this awesome gift and had it so my husband and I were going to pass each other on the road so we met in the bar parking lot just so we could get a kiss in. I love that man, and I love how God just timed that perfectly. Here I am kissing my husband in the parking lot with the Tavern sign glowing down on us. Oh, it was so romantic!

And isn't that what Praise and Coffee Nights are all about? Sharing with a friend and giving praise to God and growing in our relationships? Not a day has not gone by since that Praise and Coffee night that I haven't prayed for the friend I chatted the night away with. I am still giggling over the funny stories we shared at the table. I am still so proud of Sue for sharing her testimony. And I am blown away by this group of women God brought together. Our friendship makes no sense on paper, but in life it is the perfect blend.

Some women are afraid of starting up a Praise and Coffee Night...it's too big a task, they fear. But Praise and Coffee With my hands wrapped around a short triple breve with was held at a table with four women and in a parking lot on caramel, I listened to Sue pour out her heart with my friends an "official" PC night. It's girlfriends and sisters sharing the A and Morg at the table with me. moments of life they are in and being prayed for and looking to God for the answers. It's connecting. It's encouragEvery time Sue took a deep breath, I wanted to go give her ing. It's inspiring. No matter how big or a hug. small the gathering. And all that was flooded into my life on When her amazing testimony had people with tears in their a rough day that ended with a great eyes and her analogy of having God saturate our lives, eve- night. ryone began to break up in designated groups on specific topics. Morg, A and I...we didn't budge. It was like we By: Denise Dykstra ~ Co-Editor knew, we were not in a "group" mood. We were in a friend Denise@PraiseAndCoffee.com mood. 22

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Praise and Coffee Nights! For where 2 or 3 gather together because they are mine, I am there among them. Matthew 18:20

Buffalo, Minnesota

Plainwell, MI (the original!)

Ephrata, PA

Reno, NV Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Henderson, NV Saginaw, MI

Summerville, SC

Prescott, AZ

San Diego, CA Anthem, AZ

Lynden, WA

New Hampshire

We want pictures of your events!! Email them to us or post them into the albums on the Praise and Coffee Nights page on Facebook!

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Lisa Lehman is a wife, mom, metalsmith and most of all a woman after God’s heart. You can find her at: http://www.studiojewel.com/ on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/StudioJewel.thebeadgirl Twitter: @StudioJewel 24

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When Desperate Feelings Swallow Us… Lisa Lehman Depression. It is a strange and ugly beast. Well disguised, it chooses its victims carefully. Even victims too young to understand. The thoughtful child. The creative child. One always considered too sensitive. One who bears the weight of the world more heavily than another.

Distracted by sports and the 80’s my small bouts with depression went unnoticed, undiagnosed…written off as moodiness or teenage discontent. And even though it felt like so much more to me, I agreed with those older and wiser.

It can begin with the girl sitting at her desk…9 years old… wondering why her thighs seem so large. Even though they are not. Or why her face is not perfect like her friends. Even though it is.

Sometimes the weight I felt was almost unbearable. My mind would race. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I wanted to scream. I’d cry out to God and hear nothing. That’s when the first thoughts of suicide crossed my mind. Not so much as thoughts as, little scenes that would quickly, visibly, play out in my mind. Then they would disappear. I didn’t dwell there. The beast wasn’t ready. Not yet.

It makes thoughts wander and go places into deep recesses of the mind even most adults dare not travel. It seeks to gain a foothold. To find a place to fester, with a plan to create havoc later in life. No one is immune from its attack. Not even the girl from the stable home. Well loved. Lover of Jesus. Even she is no match for the attack of THIS beast. An invisible assailant seeking to destroy from within. That girl is me. From a very young age, I found myself very content to be alone. My creative mind would wander to mysterious places, dreaming fantastic dreams, and inventing countless gadgets. But that same creative mind full of color of beauty would often wander to places dark with fear. Places that made me hate myself and feel so very alone. 25

College. A fresh start. A new beginning. Maybe this is where I would find myself. Find others like me. Maybe here I would not feel so alone. But again. Feelings of inadequacy haunted my dreams. Shattered ideals of perfection fell all around me. I would never be as talented, never be as beautiful. Never be wanted. The beast stirred.

Praise and Coffee | Winter 2012


By now I had dismissed the God who loves me. Dismissed…not rejected. How could love a girl like me. It seemed as if even He had rejected me. He would not hear my silent cries. He would not answer my countless prayers. Where was He? I married. Against all better judgment. Against everything I knew in my heart. But I just did not want to be alone. This man loved me, or so I thought. I believed this might be the answer. Maybe now I would feel complete. I was wrong. And the beast began to laugh, knowing he was gaining momentum. But he was wrong for now. Alone again. I searched for answers. I searched for help. I searched for meaning. And Jesus was there. He was waiting for me. Waiting for me to see he had been there all along. Waiting for me to really give all of myself to him. To let him tell me how much I am worth. And I fell into his arms. It was beautiful. I married again. My soulmate, my best friend. HE loved me for me, imperfections and all. My new husband left the corporate world to pursue full time music ministry. I became a pastor’s wife and a new mom, so much change. Soon after we were blessed with a second child and then a third! After our Isabel was born, I just couldn’t seem to “get on top of life again”. Strangely enough my doctor recommended anti-depressants, “maybe you have a touch of post-partum”, he said. Frightened and confused I agreed to try them. They helped.

Another move. Back home to Michigan to plant a church. Here we faced a life altering, mind boggling disaster and the beast had his foothold. When you have given your life to full time ministry and receive such rejection from the very church you serve, the hurt runs very deep. After years of consuming anti depressants to numb the pain, they simply stopped working. The desperate feeling was swallowing me. My marriage was failing. I was failing as a mother. The walls began to crumble. I knew I needed to get help. But the beast fought back. Every forward step I took, he would use his onslaught of weaponry collected over the years against me. I was tormented in my dreams. I was tormented in my awake time. I was fighting for my life. And devil himself was fighting for my soul. The evil darkness was so real, so thick. I felt helpless and terrified. This was several years ago now. The journey was VERY long, and difficult and emotional. Not just for me, but for everyone around me. When I painfully look back I can hardly believe that WAS me. I felt absent from my body. I felt so very alone. I WAS determined to beat this very real thing that threatened to take over my life. Or worse...to take my life.

Daily thoughts of suicide consumed me.

We moved. Child number four was on the way. Working full time from home, raising our children, and trying to be the “perfect” wife. Too busy to see the signs that the beast was scheming, planning. Too overwhelmed to recognize them. Too scared to let anyone know that it even existed within me. I plugged on. What else could I do? I was strong. I was capable. I had no choice. 26

Daily thoughts of suicide consumed me. I planned everything. Then I would scream out to God to save me from myself...but I thought He wasn't listening. He was. He would give me glimmers of hope. Something to grasp onto and snap me back to reality.

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Slowly I began to realize He was holding me in the palm of His hand. I was not alone. He was fighting for me. I belonged to Him and He would not let me go. I needed a reminder. I wanted to be reassured. I did not want to do something foolish out of desperation; I would not let this beast rule me. So I gave myself a reminder. A permanent one. A tattoo, in Hebrew, on my wrist…. CHILD OF GOD. Because I AM a daughter of the King. He created me. He cares for me. Even if NO ONE else does. And EVERY time I see my tattoo I feel that reassurance.

“Enough” I am a metal smith. I make jewelry. I now design pieces for others to help them fight the beast. Visible reminders that they are a “child of God” and that they are, in fact, Enough. That is my passion, that is my ministry. Maybe you need a reminder that you belong to someone greater than the world. The only one who will be there when the rest of the world turns its back. Your life is precious.

Hebrew for “Child Of God”

Sacred. Do you know whose you are?

My story does not end there; in fact it is just the beginning. I am so much stronger now. The beast is still there. And every so often it will raise its ugly head. I can feel it. Taunting me. Dragging me down in my thoughts. Telling me I’m not enough. But it’s a lie. Lisa Lehman info@studiojewel,com 27

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Modern. Trendy. Beautiful. Contemporary handcrafted sterling silver jewelry for today's modern woman! I use recycled silver, copper, gold and gemstones to create wearable pieces of art jewelry.

Featured in Grand Rapids Women’s LifeStyle

www.StudioJewel.com 28

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Has food become more about frustration than fulfillment? The New York Times Best Selling book Made to Crave is the missing link between a woman’s desire to be healthy and the spiritual empowerment necessary to make that happen. Author Lysa TerKeurst personally understands the battle that women face. In Made to Crave, she will help you: 

Break the cycle of “I’ll start again on Monday,” and feel good about yourself today.

Stop agonizing over numbers on the scale and make peace with your body.

Replace rationalization that leads to diet failure with wisdom that leads to victory.

Reach your healthy goals and grow closer to God through the process.

NEW 2012!!! Trying to get healthy can seem overwhelming and complicated. Eat carbs… don’t eat carbs. Eat fish… don’t eat fish. Pay attention to calories… don’t pay attention to calories. All this conflicting information can be daunting and confusing. That’s why we’ve made it simple in the Made to Crave Action Plan. Based on the extensive research of Dr. Ski Chilton we’ve identified the 5 best nutrition choices you can make. A follow-up to the New York Times bestselling Made to Crave book and group study, this sixsession video-based study will help you put realistic everyday healthy choices into practice and will encourage you on your journey to healthy living.

AND...Based on the New York Times bestseller, Made to Crave, this companion book expands on the original, providing 60 new inspirational devotionals to encourage you in your weight-loss journey. The Made to Crave Devotional contains the best nuggets of wisdom from Made to Crave, plus new material not included in the original..

All available at: www.MadeToCrave.org

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“What happened to your leg?” is a question I’m asked weekly, if not daily. I became an amputee two weeks before my 9th birthday and even after 21 years of being asked this question, it’s still a hard one for me to answer. Not because I am struggling with what happened, but because the questioner wants a short answer like cancer, a car wreck or I was just born that way. However, my story is so much more than just me losing my leg. I was born a healthy baby, with two arms, two legs, ten fingers and ten toes. Soon after that is when my life became about doctors, hospitals and illness. By the age of 4 I had already battled spinal meningitis three times, a stroke, seizures, scarlet fever, tubes put in my ears 11 times, had my mastoid bone removed, had an abscess the size of a softball in the lymph nodes of my stomach and that’s just to name a few. My body continued to develop these horrible, life threatening infections and no one could figure out why. We traveled the country looking for a doctor or hospital, but we kept being turned away. We were told repeatedly that my body was further advanced than medicine. A couple of years went by, the infections seemed to be coming less, and it started to appear that I was somewhat healthy. Two weeks before my 9th birthday I found myself back in the hospital fighting for my life once again. Doctors told my parents that I had two massive and rare infections (gas gangrene and clostridium septicemia) that were spreading throughout my body. This is when my parents were forced to make a decision. Either they could let me die or doctors could try to amputate the leg but still only giving me less than a 3% chance to live. 31

This was the ninth time that my parents had been told I would not live through the next hour. For my parents, there was no decision; the surgeon amputated my left leg and hip in an effort to try to stop the spreading infection. After two very intense weeks of ICU, I finally woke up out of my coma. I had survived! During my 2 months of being hospitalized, our search for finding a doctor became our top priority. There had to be someone, somewhere willing to try to figure out why I continued to get these life threatening infections. Finally, a doctor at the hospital told us about a research hospital in Bethesda, MD called the National Institutes of Health. The NIH’s goal is to acquire new knowledge to help prevent, detect, diagnose and treat disease and disability from the rarest genetic disorders to the common cold; according to Wikipedia. So of course this sounded like our dreams were coming true, a hospital that would try to help me. However, there was a problem, they had never really studied undefined diseases before, but at their request, and we sent my information. After what seemed like an eternity, a Dr. John Gallin decided he would take a chance on my rare case. My family traveled back and fourth to Maryland for 14 years to see Dr. Gallin and his team. During those years, I underwent hundreds of medical tests. Things like having my body pumped with toxins to see how my system would react. Then there was the blister study where my forearm was hooked to a machine that would form blisters, and then the skin covering the blister was cut to expose raw skin. Then on top of each blister, virus cells were injected to see how my body would react. Those are just two of my favorites (if you can have favorites) and that doesn’t even include the gallons of research blood that I have had

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drawn. Over the span of those 14 years, it didn’t seem like we were getting any closer to a diagnosis; until one day, the phone rang. It was Dr. Gallin and he said, “We know the basis of Amanda’s problem”. My family then traveled to meet with Dr.Gallin and his team. IRAK 4…is my genetic mutation. We had been waiting 22 years for this diagnosis. Think about that. It wasn’t a few days, a week, or even a few weeks. We waited 22 years! Basically, we discovered is when my body is exposed to an infection, my white blood cells don’t receive the signal to fight it off. And because I don’t show normal symptoms to illness, like running a fever, by the time, my body does recognize the illness, I can already be critically ill. It is caused by a gene defect (actually two separate defects) that each of my parents carry. You might be wondering, what are the chances of this happening? Well my doctors say that I have won the medical lottery! Especially since, I’m the only person in the world with my exact genetic mutation. Pretty crazy huh?? The odds of my parents, who have these defective genes meeting, marrying and having children, were one in a million. The odds of me having the IRAK-4 gene mutation were astronomical.

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After reading a little about my life you might understand two things; 1. My diagnosis is pretty fitting, since my whole life is kinda crazy! 2. Why it’s so hard for me to simply answer the “what happened to your leg?” question. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares

the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11

This is my life verse. The verse that helps my life make sense. Only God knew what life lay before me. He knew His plans for me. He made me and knew I could endure whatever obstacle he put before me and He knew He would only give me what I could handle. Never in my life have I ever thought that God was trying to harm me or do what was wrong for me. I always trusted and knew whatever He had me going through was going to make me a stronger person. Not until recently did I figure out it wasn’t only making me stronger it was also bringing me closer and making me more faithful to Him. I can’t do anything without Him but as Philippians 4:13 says, I can do all things with him! He

chose ME! He has given me a huge job to handle for Him.

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Therefore, to repay Him I live for Him, telling others the story, He has given me to tell and even though I’m a sinner, I try my best to live like the greatest example He ever gave us, Jesus. My medical journey is not over. It has now been 21 years since I became a part of the NIH family. There is no treatment or cure for IRAK 4, so I’m still being studied.

Plus from what they are learning from my research, they are learning more about other diseases like lupus, heart disease, arthritis and certain types of cancer. So just because of my research, other diseases that millions of others suffer from are being better understood, and I’m so blessed to be a part of it. So I will continue to donate my living body to science. This body is just a vessel for this vapor life and we are supposed to help our brothers. I will continue to live the life God has planned for me and even though it gets tough sometimes, I remind myself my life isn’t about me, it’s about Him and what HE has planned for me. And as long as I’m where He wants me to be then I can’t go wrong.

www.MandyYoung.com Mandy’s story has been featured in countless newspaper articles like USA Today, in Good Housekeeping Magazine and on T.V. shows like Extra, Montel Williams, NBC Nightly News and international programming like CNN’s Medical Mysteries. She has been honored to be the spokesperson for several organizations and the "Face of Hope" for the new Undiagnosed Diseases Program at the National Institutes of Health. She's a southern social butterfly; who loves her family, friends, sweet tea, the color pink and most of all the Lord! She believes she's one of the cheesiest people you'll know and that the simple things in life are the best. And long ago she realized her life was too complicated to handle on her own, but with Him everything got easier. "Sometimes I have to remind myself of three things. God will only give you what you can handle, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and when you start to doubt that's when God gives you more to prove that you can get through it." says Mandy. And she does it all with a smile on her face. While sitting at a Christian Women's Conference she realized "God gave you a story, a personality that has never met a stranger and a mouth that never stops talking...Mandy THIS is what you're supposed to be doing!! And giving Him the glory for it all!!" So, with her contagious spirit, warm smile and Jesus loving heart, she began sharing her testimony in hopes of helping others overcome obstacles they may be facing.

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This *NEW* book is designed to challenge and inspire women to go deeper in their relationship with God and to challenge them to make a stronger impact on the world around them. Each week the devotionals focus on one word or theme and you will hear from seven different authors who share different perspectives on that theme. Some of the themes that are covered in this year's devotional book are: Fear, Communication, Vision, Goals, Talents, and many more! Each of these devotions are designed to not only be something that you read but also something that you do as each one ends with a daily challenge for you to complete. Women who commit to the LeadHer challenge will find themselves led on a journey of faith, purpose, and application this year! For more info about LeadHer and the new devotional: www.LeadHer.org

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riendship lessons from the My closest friendships have happened when I least expected. While I was busy working, serving, parenting, and just doing life God placed some amazing people in my path. Some became lifelong friends, others were only around for a season, but each one had a purpose – some made me laugh at myself, others pushed me to go beyond my small dreams, a few were never supposed to be friends, and some were meant to travel with me for a time. These bonds didn’t happen by mistake -- they were God sent. Throughout scripture God uses people to show us His message and Jesus’ earthly relationships are the foundation for our lives and relationships. It’s in Christ we find the wisdom to walk through the blessings and the messiness of friendships. I’m learning to embrace friendships for the season God intends – and I’m learning to let go when the time is right or the relationship is wrong. It’s a lesson learned in the trenches and through much heartache and tears.

By: Mary Snyder – the person who just rubs you wrong is in your life for a reason. Look closer, what is God trying to teach you through this relationship? – both are needed to keep your relationships healthy. Friends have a precious place in my life, but they do not take the place of my Savior or my spouse. When you make time for friends, but not for Jesus or your husband, it’s time to reevaluate. any healthy relationship requires work and friendships are no different. I have to be willing and able to invest time. If I don’t have the time then maybe it’s just not the right time for the friendship. I want to honor God in my friendships. I want to encourage, laugh, share, and challenge my friends to be all they can be in Christ. And I need friends who want to

Truths I’ve learned: do the same for me. I remember dear friends from my early parenting years. We traveled from bottles and diapers to homework and softball. We share some sweet memories, but our lives have gone in different directions. and that’s okay. It’s not possible to be great friends with everyone in your circle – you’ll wear yourself out trying. 35

Mary R Snyder, who describes herself as a slightly frazzled, but seriously blessed is a wife, mom, speaker and the author of God, Grace & Girlfriends. (see next page for more about Mary…)

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Mary Snyder’s busy blog, www.maryrsnyder.com, is one of multiple ways crowds of women connect with this leader’s message of hope, joy, and adventure in Jesus Christ. As Premier Christian Cruises Girl’s Get-a-way group coordinator, contest director, and girlfriend leader, Mary has a following that’s near, far, and across cultures because she carries God’s Holy truth in her messages with God’s love, humor, and vivid detail. Snyder testifies that life’s path is a walk of faith, including “litter, potholes, and missteps,” as she mentors and teaches “fellow travelers” in small groups, writes books and online articles, and speaks to audiences—on sea and land. Snyder uses that less-than-perfect life as the vehicle to share her passion for women to grow in deep relationship with the Lord, know His Holy Word, and enjoy serving Him at home and afar. When she’s not cruisin’ and connecting on the ocean or a Route 66, Mary makes the Birmingham, Alabama, area home.

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Check out Mary’s new book...

Have you ever wanted a REAL girlfriend? Someone who just gets you? A friend who challenges you to reach beyond the average and grab the extraordinary? A friend who is willing to take that LEAP of faith and grab onto the adventure in life? I was looking for friends like that, too. I looked high and low. I prayed for them. I asked God to send me some REAL girlfriends — girlfriends I could trust and who would walk through the good and the bad with me. God is so good and He sent those friends (but there is more to that story) — and they are my blessing. But there is so much MORE to the story — it’s about the wonderful parts of friendships and the not-so-wonderful parts. And it’s about ADVENTURES! Over 100 adventure ideas! From the simple girls’ night out to the two week long road trip — and most everything in -between! Available at: www.Amazon.com

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f

ashion cafĂŠ with

big mama

Over the last few weeks I have spent a lot of time looking for the perfect winter coat. Even though I live so far south that I'll only need one about three or four days this year. But, still, I love a good coat. However, I haven't bought one in several years because I have a hard time justifying its existence in my closet, which is why I'm committed to finding a great coat for a decent price. And while I still haven't determined the winner, I thought I'd share a few of my finalists. I think it's obvious that the lapel is the star of this coat. I love that it's different than the norm and adds some serious flair to an otherwise conservative coat. But I'm not sure how I feel about the navy. In theory, it's great. In reality, I'm torn. www.anthropologie.com 38

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Now this? I love. It's a more casual look, but the stripes are adorable and I love the charcoal gray tones. This is the perfect coat to throw on with jeans and boots all winter long. www.oldnavy.com

There was a time in 1991 when I was obsessed with a Ralph Lauren wrap skirt made out of this same material. And here I am twenty years later still in love with the whole Santa Fe thing. Actually I think I broke up with Santa Fe for several years, but all good things come back around right? This would be such a great addition to a closet belonging to someone who can justify owning more than one practical winter coat. Unfortunately that's not me. www.piperlime.com

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This falls in the same category as the previous coat. I adore it. I adore the removable fur collar, I adore the pattern, I adore the three quarter sleeves. But it's not a great coat for someone who only wears a coat three times a year. It's more along the lines of a superfluous coat. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm in love with it. It's got a whole vintage thing going on that totally appeals to me. www.anthropologie.com

I think the cape trend is probably going to be pretty short-lived, but I still really like the look of a cape for the time being. It's a little bit dramatic in a Sherlock Holmes kind of way. www.piperlime.com

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This is my favorite shade of green and I think it's a great choice for a coat because it can kind of work as a neutral. Okay, so maybe it's a flamboyant neutral. www.francescascollections.com

I realize many of you live in a climate where a sweater coat really just serves as something you layer under a winter coat. But in Texas a sweater coat can totally be the winter coat. And this one is on sale at a great price and comes in a variety of colors. www.anthropologie.com

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This is a great coat. I love the black. Love the faux fur. The whole thing just works. www.nordstrom.com

About two months ago I saw this coat on The Today Show and I really liked it. And it kind of felt like a sign because I never watch The Today Show so what are the odds I'd watch it on a day when they featured a coat I really liked? But I couldn't commit to the burnt orange. It felt wrong in light of the fact that I went to Texas A&M. www.lulus.com

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Most days it seems like you just need a good all-purpose coat that can keep you warm whether you're running errands or taking the kids to the park or going outside to get the newspaper. This is the perfect coat for all those things. www.forever21.com

Now we're at the end and I'm no closer to a decision. But maybe you've found something you like and that makes my heart happy. And you know what they say, warm heart, cold hands. Or something like that. I really have no idea. So I'll just wish you a happy winter full of beautiful coats and sweaters.

M

elanie Shankle is a native Texan who resides in San Antonio. She began blogging in July 2006 when she started her blog, Big Mama. She spends her days hoping something interesting will happen so she’ll have something to write about. 43

And because that doesn’t always work out, she began writing posts about fashion every Friday. This enables her to spend her free time looking at clothes on the internet which is one of her favorite hobbies. www.thebigmamablog.com

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She

Laughs The past three years I have been learning to work with yarn—both knitting and crocheting. Lately I have been learning to change colors mid-stream. Not being an expert, I often struggle with transitioning—ending and weaving in one color and beginning another. And it shows! So it is in life. The end of one journey is a sure sign of the beginning of another. No matter how hard or even wonderful the ending may be, the beginning holds out hope like a torch. In our races, we grasp the torch and press on, running ahead. However the transition again can create potential for stumbling, especially if we focus on anything other that the giver of the torch. We struggle with transitioning—all of us. The enemy often targets those times with loss and lies and attaches liabilities to us. He hopes we will stumble. He intends to take our joy, and above all, he wants us to limp hopelessly into the next race. It is his purpose. But God has a purpose for our lives, too. He means for us to stand in strength, take with courage, walk in victory and run with joyful and passionate purpose. He wants us to laugh. Laugh, you ask? Yes, laugh! In utter abandon of trust and perfect peace, He tells us it is quite appropriate to laugh. 44

By: Holly Smith

Lately my family has faced some hard challenges, stumbling stones and great disappointments. We know that one color is ending and an unknown color is beginning—we find ourselves in transition. So as I was cooking supper one day, I distinctly heard the still small voice of God whisper over me, “She laughs at the day to come.” I paused and thought, “Me? How Lord? How can I laugh? Lately, I have cried a lot—wailed even—over these losses. Goodness, I cannot even keep up with all that needs to be done! Lord, how did she arrive at laughter? For I believe that is the key for me right now.” Step by step, I the Lord began unfolding these truths to me: 1) She did not laugh because of all that she had done in preparation for her family; she laughed because she had firmly planted her feet on the immovable Rock, which is God. She laughed because she fully trusted in Him, not the work of her own hands-a sure stumbling stone of the enemy. 2) She laughed because the same God, who had clothed her in strength and dignity, was her confidence. This in particular was the root of my own disappointment. I had clothed myself in the confidence of a circumstance and the dignity with which that place would bring. It was all a façade—a set-up for sinking-sand disappointment.

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3) She continued using the resources she had; and with an intentional watchfulness for other resources God would send her way, she faithfully stewarded what God provided. Not only did she steward it for her own family, she multiplied it to others. She laughed at the days to come because she focused not on herself or her wants, she listened and trusted in the voice of God and faithfully did what He said. She did not stumble taking the torch, for her eyes focused solely on the Faithful One handing it to her—the One who prepared her for the journey.

She laughed. She ran. She walked. She took. She trusted--and so can I...so can we. For the Author and Finisher of our faith, Jesus, is our strong tower and immovable Rock. What He does and what He purposes is good. He knows how to tie in the sloppy endings. He knows the new colors being woven in. In this transition, He makes the way smooth. We need only trust Him and keep our focus upon Him. And it shall be said of us, “She laughs.” And a holy laughter it is.

Holly loves her job as wife to Chris and mom to Noah, Kylie, Tabor and Sydney. God has gifted Holly with a love of all things creative ~ from painting and wall papering to scrapbooking and design work. In addition to co-founding and managing A Martha Heart (http://www.amarthaheart.com), she designs web pages (www.crownlaiddowndesigns.com) and marketing pieces. She also authored a devotional blog, now closed, called Crown Laid Down. Holly and her family make their home within site of year 'round snowcapped mountains in Colorado. She can be reached by emailing Holly (AT) a martha heart (DOT) com or connect with her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HollyGorinSmith

www.compassion.com

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Praise and Coffee Nights

Praise and Coffee Nights San Diego has changed location several times and its size has varied from tall to vente. At times I have felt disconnected in the larger group. In a larger group I am unable to sit and get to know all the ladies in attendance. Recently, I began tooling with the idea of "unplugging" from the larger group and meeting for a smaller more intimate gathering.

Ronel lives in California and is the National Director of Praise and Coffee Nights You can find Ronel online at: www.chosenformore.com 46

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This past month I met at Starbucks with a smaller group of woman and we unplugged from the busyness of life. We used the Praise and Coffee ebook which included icebreakers, a small devotional and questions to unpack what we had just read and learned about one another through the devotional.

I am excited to see where this journey takes us next and I can not wait to hear what each of your experiences are across the globe. Praise and Coffee Nights in a box is a great way to start a group in your local area!

Through this experience I realized so much time is spent in ministry planning and doing and far too often we forget to sit and just be with each other and God. With the Praise and Coffee ebook all I had to do was pick a location, event details (date and time) and promote online (and via text). Once I put the idea out in the world I began to pray and God did the rest!

Watch the website for more details on the coming ebook.

At the end of the night a smaller group of us decided to start a Praise and Coffee small group in order to grow and be more accountable for our current struggles in this season of life. I never thought Praise and Coffee would branch out into so many opportunities for my own growth within a group of amazing ladies from different churches and backgrounds. Since this night I have started a group page on Facebook for the San Diego girls; to keep us connected and in touch throughout our week. Twice I posted last minute that I was heading to Starbucks for a few hours and if anyone wanted to join me they were more than welcome. One night one lady joined me and another night two ladies joined me. We chatted, prayed together and most importantly just listened and shared time together. I am not sure about you but I so NEED this time to step away from life and connect with other woman. 47

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Praise and Coffee Cooks with

Sarah is a freelance corporate photographer and recipe developer who started her blog, www.ShortStopblog.com, in May 2007. She chronicles her life as a frazzled mother, shares her favorite recipe creations, and marvels at God's amazing work of grace in her life. When not blogging, racing to basketball practice, or sitting in the Starbucks drive-thru line, you'll find her curled up with her family cheering on the Baltimore Ravens. Sarah lives in Raleigh, N.C. with her husband, Jason, and four boys Jack, Max, Lincoln, and Whitman.

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We've eaten (most of) the cookies. We've taken down the tree, vacuumed the needles off of the carpet, and climbed up the ladder to remove the last string of lights from the house. "Mom, what's for dinner?" Wait! Dinner? You mean I can't take a month-long vacation from the kitchen? But, I've been living in there for a month!

Freezer cooking really helps keep me out of that post-holiday rut. If I make a dish that can serve as tonight's dinner, but can freeze one, two, or three more pans of the same dish to have on other nights, I'm in the kitchen less, we eat out less when I'm not in the mood to cook, and I really get to rest and rejuvenate after the busy holiday season. This recipe for Chicken Tetrazzini is the #1, most favorite, most popular, and most requested freezer recipe on my blog. It is a favorite in my family, among my friends, and it is the meal I most frequently take to new Mommas. I haven't yet met someone who made it and didn't really love it, too.

If you're anything like me, you've just spent the last couple of months baking cookies. And, pies. And, turkey and stuffing and corn pudding and every other tried-and-true recipe that you wait all year to make - just for the holidays. So when January arrives, you're cooked out, baked out, kitchened-out! My January sanity-saver: it's time to make some freezer meals. Meaning: Cook once. Eat twice. Or three times. Or even better - four! It's easy to fall into a rut this time of year. We've made our favorites. We've gained a few pounds from all the holiday gorge-fests and we just want a break from the kitchen. I love food. I love to cook and bake. But, this time of year, I'd like to just not think about food and the kitchen and the cleanup so much.

The first time I had this dish, I was sitting around the family table at my would-be in-law's house. I took one bite, looked at my sweetheart, and resolved that if for no other reason, I would marry him for his Momma's cookin'. His hunky smile had me the first time he met me for lunch at the Student Union in college.

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But, the combination of that smile and the goodness that drips down his chin every time he eats this glorious pasta dish - well, I am putty in his hands. Forever. And ever. And ever. This dish - made totally from scratch (no cream of this or that soup) - is about the only casserole my husband will eat. It's actually a baked pasta dish. But, you bake it in a big ol' pan which I suppose then classifies it as a casserole. But, this is anything but your typical potluck casserole. After you finish making the sauce, you douse it with sherry.

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The sherry. It's all about the sherry. It is as easy to make a quadruple batch of this recipe as it is to make one batch. I keep foil pans in my pantry so that I can immediately freeze however many pans I'm making. This also saves me from cleanup the night I pull one out of the freezer. No cooking? No cleanup? Yes, please. If you want a break early this year, try making a double batch of Chicken Tetrazzini or some of your other favorite freezer meals. Enjoy some nights off from the kitchen and put your feet up. We've cooked, baked, decorated, shopped, wrapped, stuffed, loved on, and served up another holiday season. We've earned a little break, haven't we?

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Ingredients: 1/2 pound linguine 2 lbs (about 8) boneless, skinless chicken breasts 1 onion, chopped 2 carrots, cut into strips 1 rib celery, chopped 4 cups chicken broth 1 cup water 1 tablespoon dried parsley 1 bay leaf

1/2 teaspoon marjoram 1/2 teaspoon thyme 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon pepper 1/2 cup flour 1 stick butter 2 egg yolks 1 cup whipping cream or half and half 1/2 cup sherry 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, grated 2 tablespoons butter

Cook linguine according to package directions until al dente, approximately 8-10 minutes. Meanwhile, place chicken breast, onion, carrot, celery, chicken broth, water, parsley, bay leaf, marjoram, thyme, salt, and pepper into large stock pot. Boil, uncovered, for 20 minutes, or until chicken is cooked and vegetables are tender. Remove chicken with tongs or slotted spoon and set aside. Strain the stock and vegetables in colander over a large bowl - saving the vegetables and the stock. Remove bay leaf from vegetables and discard. In a small bowl, beat the egg yolks and cream together until well blended. Set aside. Place a stick of butter into the stock pot and melt over medium heat. Stir in flour and whisk constantly for 3 minutes. Add four cups of the stock into the pot and whisk until smooth and thick. Add one cup of the butter/chicken stock mixture to the cream/egg mixture - stirring to combine. (This will help the egg to mix evenly into the sauce without starting to cook). After adding in some of the hot mixture, add the cream/egg mixture into stock pot and whisk until almost boiling. Remove from heat. Chop cooled chicken into bite sized pieces. Add chicken and vegetables into pot. Add sherry. To assemble, butter a 9 x 13 casserole dish and add the cooked linguine. Pour chicken mixture on top. Using a fork, mix lightly so that the sauce falls down and in between the noodles. Sprinkle top with Parmesan cheese. Cut 2 tablespoons of butter into tiny pieces, and sprinkle over the top. This will give it a golden brown top. Bake at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until bubbly. Turn oven to broil. Broil for 3- 5 minutes, or until top is golden brown. For cooking in advance: *If refrigerating, follow all steps, except for adding the Parmesan and butter. Cover with plastic wrap until ready to bake. When ready to bake, sprinkle dish with Parmesan and butter, and bake as directed, adding an additional 20 minutes to cooking time. *If freezing, follow all steps, except for adding the Parmesan and butter. Cover dish with plastic wrap AND foil. Freeze. Thaw completely before adding Parmesan and butter, and bake as directed, adding an additional 20 minutes to cooking time. 51

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Love Redeems Our Grief 52

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No one really anticipates when life takes a turn for the “forever different.” No one necessarily sees it coming.

What does a new beginning look like in the midst of grief and pain?

No one intentionally invites pain and the wounds that take a lifetime of grief to process through.

In the midst of it all, I heard whispers of a new voice.

No one.

A few months before my world shattered, I gave my life to Christ at a Young Life camp. It was just a few months prior to that night that I realized my life was empty and in need of God’s forgiveness. However, I never knew that forgiveness would become so real in such a short time.

But it happens. This night was just like any other. Routines were in place, so by 11:00 Mom was watching TV in bed and Dad was reading the paper on the couch. Of course I had last minute homework I didn’t want to do, and my procrastination was running rampant. So I took a break and hopped in the shower. When I got out, I opened the bathroom door to a drastic change in scenery. My mom was out of bed and lights were on. My father was nowhere to be found. Sobs were coming from downstairs as my mom was talking to my brother on the phone. “You need to come home,” is all she could get out. I quickly threw my clothes on and rushed downstairs. “What happened!?” I demanded of my mom. Tears rushed down her face. “Your father left. He is not coming back.” Words of a confessed affair came in slow motion as the nuclear mushroom cloud of my life went up. Life-altering words of adultery that I knew down deep were coming, but what 16-year old wants to believe that about her own father? I never knew life to be the same after that night. My heart had turned into ground zero of a disaster I never wanted. Pain is what my following years were filled with. Not a life change I was anticipating. Definitely not a forever different I was wanting. The questions in my soul were overwhelming. “Now what?” People’s apologies were not going to raise me into a secure woman who knew she was worth it. Delivered meals didn’t come with a life manual.

Grief is not a linear process. Grief has no warning or timeline. It only has a healer. That night was half my lifetime ago. I still struggle with deep-rooted issues of trust and anxiety of being abandoned. Close relationships catch my breath in risked fear. Patterns of learned self -sufficiency still dictate my choices. However, God has always been faithful and full of grace. Grief still plays out in my everyday story. God is, and has always been, truth. He is the only consistency we have. He is truly faithful, and he has raised me, wounds and all. God is the God of redemption. He is making life out of our brokenness. He matches the depth of our pain with the depth of his unconditional love. This gives me hope to keep working at the process of surrendering my heart’s conditions to him. He truly makes all things new. Tracee Persiko is a speaker and writer with a master’s in Professional Counseling. She cares deeply about the heart and story of other people. When it comes to areas of passion, Tracee enjoys speaking on topics including: leadership development, cultivating character, second mile living, identity in Christ, and carrying the weight of your influence well. Her heart is all about empowering others to believe different and live different. web: http://traceepersiko.com twitter: @traceepersiko

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Heather Williams

THIS TIME AROUND By: Denise Dykstra On an afternoon with six kids between the two of us, Heather Williams and I had a brief moment to chat on the phone about her freshman album, This Time Around. http:// www.amazon.com/This-Time-Around-HeatherWilliams/dp/B005V59U6O/ref=sr_1_2? ie=UTF8&qid=1322784520&sr=8-2 Perhaps you have heard her acclaimed song “Hallelujah” on the radio. Written as a conversation she was having with God about the sudden death of her infant son, Caedmon, the song has touched so many with her heartfelt cry to the God she trusts her heart to. We found Heather home in Florida watching her two children, aged 7 and 6, running around the back yard playing with a broom – we have no idea why – but they were having a good time. I asked Heather what was a little of the back story of her new album (she had an album out that landed her the record deal, so this is her official first cd). “Writing is in my blood”, she said, “I’ve always been writing things down on scraps of paper. But it was a little intimidating to go into a room with talented songwriters and co-write a song. I needed to learn vulnerability.” Having written Hallelujah in an open-heart dialogue with God, it was a struggle to reach deep to write more songs. She wanted to be certain the songs were that same sort of realness. As for the title track, This Time Around, she wanted to have a song that said, “What love is. 54

Love is awesome but it’s going to fade, it’s a feeling but love with God is so much better than anything else we can find on this planet. We took that idea and ran with it. And it turned into a really cool song.” I asked her what did she know now that she didn’t know when she started her career. “I was surprised at the response to my music. I received a warm welcome in the music industry by other artist and songwriters. I look at this as a ministry we are doing together – like being in a church ministry together.” Heather says the greatest source of satisfaction in what she does is being “blessed to tangibly get to see God work in music.” She is humbled and touched by all the stories she hears, the stories of how her music has touched someone else’s life – and knowing it is all God’s doing. Her favorite verse – she pauses to stress she doesn’t have a life verse per say, reminding that all of God’s word is living life verses – is Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “I know that a lot of people say this is their favorite verse, but I really believe this, I’ve seen it.” She also is finding herself turning to 1 John 3:18 “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” “1 John is a good reminder to me that we should not just talk, we need to walk it out.” Heather resides with her husband of sixteen years, Tim, in Florida.

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She says he is her biggest cheerleader and he has been a great support system over this crazy year. “Everyone told me to be prepared for how crazy life would get when I got the record deal, and it did. But Tim has been so supportive, he prays for me and encourages me.” Her gratitude to him and love of him are obvious in her tone. Heather’s cd, This Time Around, has ten tracks including Hallelujah, God is Still God and Beautiful Thing. 55

The review on Amazon sums it up well, “The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all. Heather Williams' story is one of both tragedy and triumph, a desert journey that led to an oasis of finding faith. This Time Around is a series of conversations with God telling the story of a life that overcame abuse, homelessness, poverty, the loss of a child, and the discovery of redemption in the process. (continued…)

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Heather Williams cont… Her powerful vocals and the sonic melodies drive the passion of her story as it unfolds in her debut release.” Heather was just as fun and sweet as I thought she would be. Her website (http:// heatherwilliamsmusic.com/Home) has a lot of interviews that are definitely worth your time to check out with the back-story of her songs.

(The first verse of her song “Beautiful Thing” was written when her son was crying after being chased by her daughter and she was just thinking up a melody with words to help calm him down at the piano – the one thing that always calmed his tears. Great story for a great song.) Follow her on twitter (@HWmusictweets) for some fun conversations or like her on facebook at Heather Williams Music. https://www.facebook.com/ heatherwilliamsmusic

Written by: Denise Dykstra (Co-Editor) Denise@PraiseAndCoffee.com 56

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Encouragement for Today with

Ronel Sidney

Just as I completed my first race and began hiking with my family I found myself stuck on the couch with my broken ankle elevated. I was dependent on my husband to cook meals and clean the house. I was dependant on a friend to drive me to and from work. I was stuck in the midst of wanting to give up all together and I was only four weeks into my journey. Once my doctor cleared me to continue on my training path I began with a short two mile race for my son's school. This race proved to be the first of many miles I would accomplish after healing from a broken bone and spirit. Just as I was peaking in my strength and stamina I completed a 15K race in July. I felt excited and more determined to complete my half marathon in the fall yet my weight was not shifting in the right direction.

In January of last year I began my running journey which was the sure fire way for me to get to my goal weight and peak physical health. I knew my struggle with weight and food was one that was taking a toll on my spiritual growth. After getting my hands on Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst and devouring it in less than a week I began fresh and new with a new plan and out look on the year.

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As I began to hit an emotional wall in my life I began eating more and working out less. Instead of running three to four times a week I was lucky to get out once a week. My state of mind was shot and I felt lost in this battle once again. Yes, I had lost that loving feeling and I was ready to give up and be happy right where I was in life. I was certain God was okay with me being "good enough" and to be honest I was certainly fine with the progress I had made in my journey. My half marathon was still looming in the background and I felt obligated to compete it because I had spoken so much about this accomplishment in the past eleven month. I could NOT let myself or God down so despite my lack of training and motivation I set out to run 13.1 miles on November 13th.

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The first three miles felt great! It was not until I hit mile eight... I hit a physical and spiritual wall. I began to pray for God to show up! The muscles in my legs were aching. My mind was only thinking about quitting and just giving up. Just before mile nine I called my husbands phone and asked my son to pray for me. He began praying and then he told me I could do it and I just needed to press forward. Easy advice for a seven year old to give, right? Either way I knew I had to find a way to make it across the finish line. At this point it was just one foot in front of the other. Right around the ten mile mark I began to think about the pain and pressing forward. So often in life when things get tough I just want to walk away and give up. Early in my marriage I was certain I could do it better on my own and I contemplated divorce. I quickly realized I wanted my husband more than I wanted to be alone and my feelings were driven by emotion and not logic. The truth of the matter was this journey I was taking was NOT the first time I had tried to get healthy and lose weight since my son was born seven years ago. Sadly, I had started and stopped at least five other plans to get to my goal.

No, I did not have the best race time of my life. Yes, I completed the race despite the pain, struggles and set backs. Yes, I crossed the finish line and lived to tell the story. You see it is not about finishing the race it is about the journey and not giving up no matter what adversity life may throw at you. Broken bones, emotional ups and down, mental block and discouraging words did NOT stop me from lacing my running shoes up despite my weak training or lack of emotional strength. As we start a new year let’s set a goal but not in stone let’s leave room for God to weave His own journey for our lives and as life takes twists and turns lets vow to press on despite stumbling blocks or weakness. "We'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in (Hebrews 12:1 Message)."

So often in life when things get tough I just want to walk away and give up.

So, what is the difference this time? As I finally crossed the finish line three hours after starting my final race of the year I knew I had done something different this year. No, I did not get to my goal weight.

Ronel Sidney is a National Director for Praise and Coffee and Run with Endurance Chapter Leader based in San Diego, California. You can find her blog and all her social media handles at www.ChosenforMore.com. For more information on Run with Endurance check out the website at: www.RunwithEndurance.net.

Ronel lives in California and is the National Director of Praise and Coffee Nights You can find Ronel online at: www.chosenformore.com 59

Praise and Coffee | Winter 2012


Help for wom

www.mercyministries.org

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Praise and Coffee | Winter 2012


men in crisis...

1.800.799.SAFE or 1.800.787.3224 Anonymous & Confidential Help

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Denise Dykstra, co-editor of Praise and Coffee the Magazine. Denise is heavily caffeinated and joyfully married to her truck driving, farming husband. They reside in Michigan raising their four boys (ages 12 to 5) on a hobby farm that keeps them hopping busy. She updates friends on her sons’ latest escapades and caught snakes on her blog “Life With Four Boys...Coffee Please!” Denise@PraiseandCoffee.com

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An entire weekend – Friday to Monday – with no technology. No computer, no radio, no television, no cell phone, no video games…could we do it? That’s what they asked our family to do. I have to admit, for a moment I nearly didn’t. No blog? No texting? No Facebook? No twitter? But it was our news channel. The ones that made me morning mom, gave me my computer, was as sweet to us as could be, and they needed to know how a family would do on a digital detox weekend. Would we do it? How could we not? The boys were afraid that “digital detox” meant that we would loose electricity to the fridge and stove and they were afraid they might starve. I noticed, in that moment, that there was no concern about bathing. But when they found out that I would be recording them all weekend and later they would be on the news, and still have all their food and the stove for their mom to cook it on, they were all for it. My husband may have laughed at me. He may have thought I would be curled up in a corner, suffering from being unconnected. The nights were hard. Here it gets dark so early and the boys would look to my husband and I for things to do. You can only teach them so many new card games. And my husband and I, used to cuddling on the couch for a movie at night, had no cuddle time. For that weekend, my husband was giddy to see all the work we could get done. He and the boys cut wood and I canned pears (Those jars say “detox wknd pears”. I am sure it will make them taste sweeter.). We fell exhausted into bed every night at early times. But oddly enough, we didn’t get as much done as he thought we would. 63

We did, however, realize that work is so much more enjoyable with a sound track. Riding around getting groceries or headed to church, the silence in the vehicle caused us to sing and tell each other “remember when” stories. In the mornings, with no tv to watch as they slowly woke up, the boys all crawled in bed with us. The news paper, something we don’t often read, became the happiest delivery of our day.

It was harder than we thought it would be. All of us are used to working outdoors and that didn’t bother us as much, it did bother us when the darkness closed in. It was an odd feeling to meet someone and not be able to immediately put their information in my contacts. When I needed to share a recipe, I had to do it the old fashioned way…writing it down and delivering it. By Sunday we felt we were living in a bubble. It also wasn’t as painful as it had been on Friday. That said, my blue notebook I was walking around with was getting pretty filled up with little notes, Facebook posts and tweets. Monday brought the news crew out and they did a quick interview with us on how we survived. We handed over the flip cam that had nearly two hours of footage on it – it had become our family’s journal.

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I had kept the boys home from school for the event, so they were more than happy to plug the TV in and get some veg time. I sent out a happy text that I was back and then began to blog while it was all fresh in my memory. A short time later, the technology noise was deafening and the boys went outside to play. When I took them to school the next day, we happily turned the radio on – but had it nearly all the way down so we could hear ourselves as we chatted. The following weekend, when the boys woke up, they didn’t crawl in bed with my husband and I, they just turned the tv on. I realized that was the part I had enjoyed the most. All in all, we were glad to have done the weekend detox. The experience of it is something that – months later – the boys are still talking about. They don’t remember a time when we didn’t have a cell phone to quick send pictures to Daddy or a computer to quick look something up. We fully plan to do a detox again, for a night or a day. It was most surprising to us how much we used the television for a babysitter or a “date” night. We always knew we were news junkies, but it became really obvious when we were disconnected…waiting for the paper to arrive to find out who won the World Series was just plain weird. But it also made us feel closer together. The more time we were separated from all other distractions, the more closer we became. I don’t ever recall a time I thought in my head, “I am so glad my husband is on his phone playing Angry Birds instead of spending time with me.” But technology is a way of daily life with us. And it’s a good thing…but still worth taking a break from.

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Praise and Coffee RUNS!

We’ve partnered with Run With Endurance to encourage women to connect with each other and start a RWE chapter in their community!

Check out Run With Endurance at: www.RunWithEndurance.net or click here for a direct link: Run With Endurance Casie Dussia is a small business owner and a personal trainer that ministers to women’s soul, mind and body and is the founder of RWE~Run with Endurance. She lives in Southwest Michigan and enjoys life with her husband John and son. Casie is a team partner to the Praise and Coffee Night ministry in Plainwell, MI. 65

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Connect with us online! We’re all a Twitter!

@praiseandcoffee

Praise and Coffee Nights on Facebook You asked for it... Praise and Coffee Magazine is now available in print through MagCloud. Magazines can be ordered individually but not by subscription. Yet.

Praise and Coffee Magazine on Facebook

The magazines cost about $13-$15 each.

To order a copy in print, go to our website:

PraiseAndCoffee.com and click on the magazine link. 66

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The lessons I learn from

Lauren Written by: Sue Cramer Sue@PraiseAndCoffee.com

Tis the season! Christmas at Lauren’s school includes the annual skating party. I spent the 70’s on roller skates, but it was Lauren’s first time circling the disco ball. A couple times around the rink, clinging to me for dear life, she was ready to quit. But since she didn’t know how to stop rolling, I just kept going. She was embarrassed, she looked up at me with fear in her eyes more than once, she fell more than she rolled. Feet flying in opposite directions, I’m sure her left arm is a couple inches longer from being yanked up by it for 2 hours straight. The older kids at her school were so sweet and slowed down to check on her and cheer her on. But she wasn’t fooled by the “you’re doing great” pep talks, she knew that she looked like a train wreck and she didn’t like that feeling.

These are from our trip to China in 2006 to bring Lauren home. She spent the first 2 years of her life in an orphanage. We were crazy about her from the first time we saw her little picture. She’s seven years old today.

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Ten minutes after we started, she was frustrated that she couldn’t glide around the rink like the older kids. “I want to skate like that!” she complained, while pointing at her experienced friends who didn’t need help from their moms. “Why can’t I skate like they do?” she cried. I explained to her that every one of those kids had started out just like her, with wobbly legs and waving arms. She wasn’t convinced but kept at it, and by the end of the 2 hours she was making it around the rink without me. She was slow and resembled someone flagging in a plane, but she was doing it on her own.

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When she looked at me and said, “I want to skate like that!” I saw my own insecurity beaming at me and I haven’t been able to forget it. I want to look like everyone else. I want to write like they do and speak like they do and have great stories to tell. How is it fair that they seem to come by it so naturally and I have to work at it? And I hate myself for feeling this way, but it’s the hard honest truth.

It also causes me to pull back the curtain on my own heart and see the areas that I haven’t allowed the Father to love and heal. Lauren was able to put her doubts and fears behind her because I was there to encourage and lift her after each fall. There was another little boy there for the first time too that didn’t do as well. He took his skates off after 5 minutes. The difference was, his mommy wasn’t there. He didn’t have a cheerleader and comfort giver to keep him going when it was embarrassing and painful. Others tried, but he was done, off to play video games-something he was good at, no risk of humiliation there. Comparing,

I think of how ridiculous it was for her to want to look like the experienced skaters on her first time around the rink. Doesn’t she understand that they spent just as much time on their bum the first time they put skates on? I reminded her about the first few times she rode her motorcycle, the whole family (except me, don’t analyzing the judge-someone had to get the video) ran alongside her because she would topple right accomplishments over if they hadn’t been there. And she started of others only slow, very slow. Now she whips around the to use them track, over the whoops and tabletop like a pro. as proof Well, maybe not a pro, but a tiny version of a of our own pro in the making. I reminded her that most of the kids on that rink would not be able to ride a incompetence. motorcycle today, but she could because she’s been on one so many times. The words fly right back in my face. Insecurity is a bitter friend. It targets the core of our being. Complaining and whining that we are not enough. Comparing, analyzing the accomplishments of others only to use them as proof of our own incompetence. I battle these things just like Lauren does. The difference is, she dares speak them out loud. She doesn’t know how selfish she sounds, she hasn’t learned to keep such thoughts to herself. And I’m so thankful, because it gives me a window to her heart.

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Lauren let me comfort her and received my encouragement because she knows how much I love her, we have a relationship. When we face fears and insecurity, the Father wants us to be comforted by His love for us. He wants a relationship with us that is honest and sincere, not forced or coerced. If I had been embarrassed by Lauren’s lack of skating ability and scorned her for not being good enough, you would think I’m a horrible mother. But that’s the way we look at God sometimes. As if we have to be good enough for Him to love and accept us. The Father loves you right now. Exactly the way you are. Do you believe it? Do you know that He longs to hear the sound of your voice speaking to Him? He’s waiting for the opportunity to pull you back on your feet and wrap His love around you. Will you let Him?

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Psalm 29:11

God makes his people strong. God gives his people peace.

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Praise and Coffee | Winter 2012 Pic from Dreamstime


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