Praise and Coffee Spring Magazine by Praise and Coffee

Praise and Coffee Spring 2012

Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Talk Marriage with

Getting Your

The Generous Wife

Feet Sandal Ready

A Good Girls Guide to Great Sex!

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The Praise and C

www.PraiseAn 2

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Coffee Ministry

ndCoffee.com 3

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Praise and Coffee Magazine A quarterly online publication. Founder and Editor

Sue Cramer Co-Editor

Denise Dykstra Submission Guidelines: 1. Anyone is welcome to submit articles or testimonies. 2. Submissions by women who have attended or hosted a Praise and Coffee event will be considered first 3. Testimonies can be personal or connected to your experience at a Praise and Coffee event. 4. Articles that will be considered are to be encouraging and inspiring. 5. Length of submission should be 400-800 words. This can be negotiated for feature articles. 6. Submissions will be read and considered among the Editor and coEditor. 7. We do not pay for articles, they are on a volunteer basis. 8. Submissions should be in “Times New Roman” #12 font. 9. Submissions need to be emailed as an attachment and include: Name

Email Website (if applies) Short (100 words or less) bio 11. Email submissions to our Co-Editor: Denise@PraiseandCoffee.com For advertising info, contact Sue at: Sue@PraiseAndCoffee.com See website for submission schedule. 4

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Spring 2012 Volume 2~Issue 3

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Praise and Coffee Nights meet in coffee shops and at kitchen tables across the country. To learn more about them, check out our online ebook:

Praise and Coffee Nights!

Also, our first ever Praise and Coffee Night Online! April 12, 2012

Check out our website for more details: PraiseAndCoffee.com

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Across the Nation and World! For where 2 or 3 gather together because they are mine, I am there among them. Matthew 18:20

Buffalo, Minnesota

Plainwell, MI (the original!)

Ephrata, PA

Reno, NV Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Henderson, NV Saginaw, MI

Conneticut

Prescott, AZ

San Diego, CA Anthem, AZ

Lynden, WA

New Hampshire

We want pictures of your events!! Email them to us or post them into the albums on the Praise and Coffee Nights page on Facebook!

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Who else can calm a savage (hungry) beast, walk across fiery hot coals (i.e. Legos), wrestle a viper with her bare hands (i.e. untangle a metal slinky) and still have time to put on a carnival (i.e. buy a piñata) for a 7 year old’s birthday party. You don’t have to search the rainforests for her, no, she can be found right there collapsed outside a child’s bedroom door praising God for 8pm.

I see the sighs of tired moms across the room. I always encourage them about how important their role is and how God so perfectly ordained them to be the specific mother to the children that He’s placed in their families.

...that on their best days they’ve still probably lost their temper one too many times.

She’s a mom, a real mom. Not a Hollywood mom with nannies and handlers to comb out gum-filled pony tails. This mom is engaged in the daily tasks of motherhood; she’s in the battle and has the broken nails to prove it. She’s caffeinated and ready for anything from splinters to broken hearted teenagers. I love the many opportunities I have to speak at MOPS groups. I walk in to a mostly cheerful group of gals, many toting little ones in car seats, others with adorable baby bumps and a dull roar comes from a room down the hall filled with toddlers. I share about the struggles and challenges of mothering young ones and their shoulders soften. 8

Often teary eyes are blotted with Kleenex as I remind them that they are not alone, that God is with them at every moment and His love for them never changes. I feel like I beg them to gently surrender the backpack of guilt and shame that they carry as they compare themselves to other moms and know that on their best days they’ve still probably lost their temper one too many times. My heart goes out to these ladies. I remember when I was at home with 3 children under the age of five. It was exhausting and I spent many days beating myself up for not doing a good enough job.

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Moms, we are far too hard on ourselves. You are doing a much better job than you give yourself credit for doing. Motherhood is a serious calling. We have a huge job and thankfully we have a huge God that leads and guides us through it. The most important thing I can say to moms is that God is with you in it all, He loves those kiddos even more than you do. This season has purpose, it’s not just about surviving the days, it goes much deeper than that. You are sowing love and comfort and correction into your children and it will be reaped for years to come. So whether you are wiping body parts or cheering from the sidelines, your job matters. No one can replace you Mom. Even as your child grows and starts fumbling with those apron strings, your relationship in their life is still one of the most important on this planet. One thing they This issue we’re sharing stories and resources for moms of all stages. I hope you find encouragement on these pages and with the ministries we share.

never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is. Erma Bombeck

Live. Laugh. Love… while drinking coffee of course! Sue Cramer Founder of Praise and Coffee Ministry Sue@PraiseandCoffee.com

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Helping Moms… Because kids don’t come with instruction manuals

ave you ever wanted to

change the world? Have you ever wanted to just try? I have! As we look at our culture and we see so many moms struggling to do it all…to be it all, we’re faced with some cold, hard facts…. Currently, one out of every ten babies is born to a teenage mother and twenty-six percent of children under the age of 21 are being raised by single parents. In the United States alone, that translates into over 22 million children being raised by teenagers or single parents.

Mothers On a Mission to Mentor Other Mothers

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We are losing our children somewhere between our skewed view of the significance of a mother’s role and the struggles today’s busy mothers face. If the body of Christ does not become engaged and begin reaching out to these mothers in need, we may just lose the next generation.

And while many women dream of being the perfect mom who has all the right answers, never raises her voice, and never has to count to three, we all know it’s not always easy being a mom. Those sweet, little bundles of joy don’t come packaged with instruction manuals or warning labels and moms are often left to figure it out on their own. There is a beautiful and powerful resurgence of women who see Titus 2 as not only a viable option, but a compelling call. That’s where The M.O.M. Initiative comes in.

The M.O.M. Initiative is an acrostic for Mothers On a Mission to Mentor Other Mothers. It’s a ministry that exists as a group of moms and a package of resources to equip, enable, and support women as they not only experience Titus 2 in real life, but are also encouraged to take it to the streets. We want to change the world one mom at a time!

The M.O.M. Initiative website also offers a private chat room where a mom can connect with a virtual mentor and find help in times of need. The website offers help for the mentor as well as the mentee.

The website:

The articles on The M.O.M. Initiative website are provided by a wonderful group of moms who are passionate about ministering to the hearts of mothers. Some are writers, speakers, counselors, nurses, or experts in their fields, yet they all devote much time and effort to serving other mothers in whatever season of life they find themselves.

The M.O.M. Initiative website offers virtual

The workbook:

encouragement for real life moms. The website exists as safe place to grow as a mother, to gain a better understanding of what a mother is and what a mother does and to foster and support mentor/mentee relationships. Along with practical tips, helpful tools, godly wisdom and informative insight on current issues, 11

The M.O.M. Initiative workbook is being developed to serve as a tool in the hands of Christian moms to help foster mentoring relationships beyond the four walls of the church and take Titus 2 to the streets. It will be an eight week study containing five lessons per week. Cont...

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Contâ&#x20AC;Ś Each day the mentee will be presented with biblical truths as well as mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and developmental needs of a child. She will also gain insight through thought provoking questions encouraging her to implement proactive mothering techniques. The workbook will also provide a M.O.M. mentor guide and a missional planning guide in the back of the book.

Summed up, The M.O.M. Initiative is a missional mentoring package of resources that will give Christian mothers an easy, hands-on approach to passionately pursue mentor relationships with younger mothers and mothers-to-be, and ultimately impact the next generation for Christ.

The M.O.M. Initiative was birthed from my own story. At the age of nineteen, I was a single mom. Without Christ and without a mentor, I made a series of serious choices that affected my precious young son. After becoming a Christian five years later, I learned being a mom is much more than a three letter word and a handful of sacrifices. I also realized the significance of Titus 2:4-5.

If the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, then the church that mentors those hands will win it . 12

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What’s the Vision for The M.O.M. Initiative? Simply put… We want to change the world!

The M.O.M. Initiative is not just a book. It’s I honestly believe that if the hand that rocks the not just a website. IT’S A REVOLUTION! cradle rules the world, then the church that mentors those hands will win it. We are mothers on a mission to mentor other The primary vision for The M.O.M. Initiative is that it not only be limited to those who enter the four walls of the church, but that it also be used to facilitate mentor relationships in homes for unwed mothers, in low income housing projects, apartment complexes, homeless shelters, prisons, juvenile shelters, schools, hospitals, the mission field and anywhere young mothers can be found.

mothers and we really want to change the world one mom at a time! Won’t you join us? To learn more, you can visit our website at: www.TheMomInitiative.com The M.O.M. Initiative To join the revolution and find out more about becoming a M.O.M. Mentor,

(Planning guides for each of these venues will be available in the back of the book.)

Stephanie Shott is a popular, practical and passionate speaker who travels internationally to share hope for the hurting, peace for the weary and truth for all. She is also the author of Understanding What Matters Most (a Bible study on Ecclesiastes). You can contact Stephanie here: Website: www.stephanieshott.com or via email: stephanieshott@me.com You can find Stephanie here as well: Stephanie is a Speaker Chick: www.speakerchicks.com Stephanie writes for Scripture Dig: www.scripturedig.com

www.compassion.com 13

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Hurting Written by: Sue Cramer

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." ~Washington Irving

I Googled his symptoms and the page filled with one word “diabetes.” Before I knew it I was rushing to the emergency room with my 13 year old son while my husband was on the other side of the world walking the footsteps of Jesus along the dusty paths of Israel. I was a panicked mess. Josh was pale, lethargic and thin. And Josh was not a thin boy. I thought he was going through that normal stage of an awkward gangly teen but the truth was that he had lost 16 lbs in one month and was in the process of a diabetic meltdown. He was dangerously close to going into a coma. By the time we made it to the hospital his blood sugar was over 800 (normal is 80-120).

I tried to keep myself strong in front of him but every time I was out of sight I braced myself to catch my breath and swallow hard the lump that kept building in my throat. How could this happen? No one, I mean no one in the family has had type 1 diabetes. I was scared and unsure about his future. My world, his world, had just been shattered into a million pieces. Suddenly our new normal included insulin, syringes and glucose meters. Mark wasn’t carrying a cell phone while climbing Mt. Carmel so I didn’t have an easy way to get a hold of him. Thankfully, the doctors assured me that Josh was out of immediate danger and that he would only continue to get better in the pediatric ICU over the next few days. I chose not to try and track Mark down but to wait until he called me.

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Meanwhile, I spent those days learning how to care for a child with diabetes. I felt like I was underwater without a mask. Not only was I overwhelmed and scared, I was also ashamed. I was certain that this was somehow my fault. If I’d been a better mother, fed him more vegetables and kept him from McDonald’s this never would have happened. I shouldn’t have given him Easter baskets or stockings of treats; I firmly believed that I had done this to him. The second day I was sitting with a nurse learning how to give an injection, she shared with me that her son was also diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at 13 years old. I was so happy to find someone who had already walked this road. I needed to talk to another mom about this. I nearly exploded with questions for her.

Blaming ourselves is not the answer. Our children are given to us by a God that sees and understands more than we could ever comprehend. He brings the children into our lives that He wants us to care for. You are the best mom for your child, and God has uniquely gifted you to raise your children. I did not want my son to have diabetes; I wished that I could be diabetic in his place. But since that is not possible I chose to love him and help him through it. That’s what Moms do. We nurture and love and comfort our kids. We can’t always deflect all the pain that they will go through, but we can pray for them and teach them that even when life hurts, God is faithful. And that is one of the most powerful lessons any of us can learn.

And then as I sat back, taking it all in, she looked at me and gently but directly told me, “This, is not your fault.” I melted into tears and just sobbed. She knew my thoughts, she understood my pain. She’d beaten herself up with the same accusations that I had. Moms, things happen in our children’s lives and often there’s nothing we can do about it. Children are born with conditions such as auto-immune deficiencies, autism, and physical disabilities.

Life happens and sadly sometimes our children suffer. Joshua and his girlfriend Charity.

Josh just celebrated his 22nd birthday and is doing great! 15

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Encouragement for Today with

Ronel Sidney

National Director of Praise and Coffee Nights ~ www.ChosenForMore.com

Stepping Out of Ministry And Into Community Watching my son struggle on the mat has to be the hardest thing I have had to deal with by far. His little face beat red and tired. I can tell he wants to give up but dad is yelling, "leave it all on the mat!" The sadness that sweeps his face when he loses breaks my heart. There is nothing you can do as a

According to Mother Goose boys are made of, "snips and snails, and puppy dog tails." Really snips? Snips are little pieces… and if you are a mom of a boy then you know that there are always little pieces of dirt, sand and other gross stuff all over your house. I find the sticky hands the most distracting of them all. Being a mom of a boy means you know how to play guns, Star Wars and you better know how to play catch. My 7yo loves to wrestle and on a regular basis he tries to take me down with a double leg take down. I NEVER in a million years would have thought I would know wrestling moves, but yes I do!

mom to make them feel better,

When Lucas began wrestling three years ago I thought it would be a fad that eventually he would grow tired of, yet I have come to realize there is something about taking another boy down and pinning him that makes my son excited and proud. I like winning just as much as the next person but I am not so sure about wrestling around on a sweaty mat.

After several minutes he makes his way to the stands and I give him a hug and tell him, “you can't win them all.” He wants to give up and go home. Oh how I understand this feeling of wanting to throw in the towel at work, in marriage and in life. Who hasn't thought about giving up and walking away?

I know this but I just want to run down on the mat and wrap him in my arms and tell him it will be alright. Instead I sit and prayerfully wait for him to get over his own disappointment.

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As I wrap him in my arms I tell him that giving up is NOT an option and that once he gets back out there he will feel better. The mommy in me wants to take him home and baby him yet I know in my heart this would just set him up for failure later on in life. As sports have become more prominent in our lives I have had to scale back things that I do in my off time, including ministry. This has been difficult for me but it has also opened doors to a different kind of ministry. Volunteering to be team mom means; sending out emails and communicating to other parents and vendors.

I can not tell you how many of them have clicked on my blog or the praise and coffee website and after they have done this they come up to me and share their own struggles and life. I think this is very affirming to me that we all need connection and despite busy seasons in life when we take time to participate we are making ourselves available to do God's work. Yes, we will have to deal with struggles yet I think it is a great opportunity to share God's grace and love with our community. I know for myself I NEVER was one for getting involved outside of the church yet I am learning we are the church and we are called to share His love to our community NOT just to our church family we see on Sunday... but our community (where God has placed us)! This could mean volunteering to be team mom, praying for our kids teams and coaches and it could also mean stepping out in faith to be apart of something outside of church. Watching Lucas wrestle, play baseball and soccer has taught me the importance of being a part of something larger than ourselves. This has been difficult because I have always had an organization backing me (ie. the military, church or ministry) and moving outside the four walls has been difficult because people can be mean, bitter and resentful yet if we take the time to connect and encourage those around us we just might be a part of the change He has called us to make. 17

Speaking of stepping out of ministry and into community, I’ve had the awesome opportunity to share tips and encouragement for Real Moms on STAR 105.7, a secular radio station here in West Michigan.

We talk about everything from bullying to tips for dealing with teenagers. If you’re not in West Michigan you can listen online at iHeart radio. Check out my webpage for more info, links to the segments we’ve recorded and ways to connect with Tommy and Brook! @TommyAndBrook

www.PraiseAndCoffee.com www.WestMichiganStar.com

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Interview with Kate Battistelli Mom of Francesca Battistelli and author of “Growing Great Kids” By: Melissa Mashburn Melissa@PraiseAndCoffee.com When the tweet came through on twitter one day from Kate I just about fell over. Would I like to read and review her book? You betcha! As a big Francesca Battistelli fan and mom to two kids knocking on the door to adulthood I was curious to see, what little golden nuggets were tucked away in Kate’s new book, Growing Great Kids. What I did not expect was that I would end up highlighting, underlining and writing notes all in the margins as much as I did. Growing Great Kids is straight from Kate’s heart. It is written from the pages of her real life of raising Francesca, a Grammy-nominated Christian artist. Kate & I had been trying to connect for a few weeks to chat about the book, her life and what’s going on in her world. When we finally got a chance to chat, it was like sitting with an old friend on the back porch enjoying a cuppa coffee. We talked for almost forty-five minutes about parenting, ministry, homeschooling and the heart of this book, which is helping parents uncover the treasure God planted in our kids. I could go on and on about how wonderful this woman of God is, but I will let her story be told through some of the questions I asked her…and believe me, I asked a lot of them. Kate was also a guest on my weekly series called, “Godly Gals ~ Real Women, Real Life, Real Faith” where she talked about “The Power of a Parent’s Words”. You can read her Godly Gals post here. www.MelissaMashburn.com 18

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Mel: What made you decide to write Growing Great Kids?

Preschool - There is so much you can teach them before they ever go to school. Help them discover the world and you will likely see hints of their gifts and calling begin to emerge. Be prepared to spend lots of time on the floor and playing make believe. Be willing to get your hands dirty!

I decided to write Growing Great Kids to detail the journey God took my husband Mike and I on as we raised our daughter. We believed God had a big God-sized dream for her, as He does Elementary - Homeschool if you can to set a for each of us, and we wanted to partner with strong academic foundation but if you can't, be Him to cultivate His purpose in her life and help as involved in their school as possible. Always her figure out why she was here and what was check homework, get them the help they need the path He planned for her. if there are areas they are struggling in, get to know the families of the children they play Mel: What is the message you with. Make what's important to them important are hoping families walk away to you.

with from reading GGK? Successful adults don't happen by accident! It takes wisdom and intentional effort to raise children with a strong sense of their destiny in God and a deep knowledge of their gifts and callings. It also takes blood, sweat and tears and, as I like to say, parenting isn't for wimps!

Mel: If you had one thing to tell yourself as a new mom, what would you say? You can do this! Don't be afraid to be the parent, love lavishly, discipline early and have the courage to set the bar high! At each age and stage of parenting what is one thing you know now that you did not know then?

Middle School - Time is the most important thing here. Spend time with them; let them talk when they are ready. This is a scary time for kids because everything is changing. It's also a dangerous time as it's when most boys typically view pornography for the first time. Be vigilant with TV, video games, movies, cell phones, computer usage, etc. Have firm standards already in place and be willing to communicate why they can't go to an R-rated movie with their friend's older brother, for example. Be aware of what's going on in the culture yourself. Read what they read, watch what they watch, listen to the music they are listening to. Don't try to be a friend, these are the tough years where they may not like the standards you set in place but what they need is a parent not a friend. Or as my pastor says, institute a "benevolent dictatorship"! Communicate honestly about the importance of purity and help them set boundaries.

Infant/Toddler - You are their world! They don't need much but love, attention and space to grow.

Francesca and Kate Battistelli 19

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High School - By now, they may already have clear direction for their life. But, if they're a late bloomer (like I was) they might not have a clue! It's time to begin thinking about life after highschool. College, technical school, the military, beginning a trade are all options. They will need your help sorting it all out. If they are college bound, you need to begin helping them prepare for it way before senior year. Help them set goals and plan what classes they'll need to take, what colleges they might be thinking about, financial aid, scholarships, etc. Keep communication open! Know their friends, be the cool house everyone wants to come to. Always have lots of food!!! College - If they go away to school, pray, a lot! Depending on the school there will be lots of temptations they've never experienced. If they commute, just be that safe place where they can express their dreams, goals, frustrations, etc.

Mel: What can parents do, right now, to start seeing the â&#x20AC;&#x153;oak tree in the acornâ&#x20AC;? as you say in the book? As you begin to see gifts being expressed in your child, press in to prayer and let God plant a big dream in your heart for your child. When Franny was 16 and we watched the Grammy awards, I told her she would be up there one day. I don't know why except I believed it and God planted it in my heart! 8 years later, she was nominated for a Grammy! She didn't win but I'm still believing:)

As you begin to see gifts being expressed in your child, press in to prayer and let God plant a big dream in your heart for your child.

Mel: When you started to notice the unique gifts/talents in Francesca, what did you specifically do to cultivate those gifts/talents? Francesca first began expressing her gifts around the age of 4. She exhibited a real flair for the dramatic so we put her in ballet. She loved it and loved anything to do with music/ dance/dressing up. We began exposing her to cultural events in our area and also children's theatre and movie musicals. Small investments but they revealed a lot about what she liked and gravitated towards. 20

Mel: In your book, you talk a lot about the power of words, why do you think it is so important for us, as parents; to be aware of the words we say (good and bad)? Words are absolutely critical. What we say can create the future. The spoken word is the creative word-God said Let there be light and there was light! Life and death are in the power of the tongue. The best thing is that words are FREE! If you are short on the resources to give your child every opportunity, you can always encourage them, speak life over them and declare and call out their destiny. Beware of criticism. Strive to set a standard of Godly speech in your household. Have a no tolerance policy for mocking and putting each other down among siblings. Be careful how you talk to and about your spouse. Be very mindful of comparing your children to one another.

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Mel: Your faith is evident throughtout the book, how did you start planting the seeds of God’s love into Francesca’s heart? We talked about God all the time! We became Christians later in life so we viewed Christianity as very black and white. There was the world's way and there was God's way and having done it the world's way and found only heartache, we knew God's way was superior. We tried to model the love of Christ to her as much as we could. We were willing to admit when we were wrong and to ask forgiveness when we messed up. We wanted to be authentic and honest in our own struggles and let her see Christianity is not a set of do's and don'ts but a relationship with the one who created the universe. We emphasized the fact over and over that when you follow Christ; it is a very narrow path that leads to life. We are still learning what that means but we tried to be honest and let her know that it's hard to be a Christian, to do the right thing and walk the path of humility and integrity. It will mean death to your flesh and that is never easy.

Mel: Congratulations on your new grandbaby, Matthew Elijah. As a new grandma, what is one thing you hope and pray for in his life? For my grandson, and soon to be granddaughter, my prayer is that they can find the path God planned for them before the foundation of the world. God already knows their days and their destiny. I hope I can play a part in helping them find out what it is and encourage them to dream big and passionately pursue it!

Mel: What is one thing parents can do right now to start growing great kids? It does not matter if they are a baby or a high school student…what is onestep they can take today? The one thing parents can do right now is believe there is a future and a destiny for their children. Believe they are world-changers. Don't be afraid to dream a big, God-sized dream for them. And one other thing, speak life and destiny over them and pray without ceasing! Thanks so much Kate for sharing your heart with us today! You have given so much to think about when it comes to Growing Great Kids. I know that we talked a little bit about “what’s next?” for you and I loved how you laid it out there for me…you are simply going to follow His lead. What a great reminder for us all. Growing Great Kids is fantastic resource for moms who are looking to be intentional about partnering with God to cultivate His purpose in your child’s life. Kate Battistelli is a wife, speaker, author, former Broadway actress, and mom to one of Christian Music's most celebrated artists --Grammy-nominated, Christian Contemporary singer-songwriter Francesca Battistelli. Kate volunteers at Esther Single Mother's Outreach and writes about faith, family and food at www.KateBattistelli.com. She is thoroughly enjoying her new role as grandmother to Francesca's first child, Matthew Elijah. Kate's new book, Growing Great Kids ~ Partner with God to cultivate His purpose in your child's life is available here.

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Let’s Talk

MARRIAGE With Lori Byerly of “The Generous Wife”

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Baby Steps For Moms “One of the best things any of us can do for our children is to provide them with a strong marital model. Children need to know that their parents love not only them, but each other.” Dr Debbie L. Cherry I think most of us believe this, but for many of us the question is ~ how do we actually live this out for our kids? Life tends to happen at full tilt. Where do we find the time and energy? I’m a big fan of baby steps. Big changes tend to overwhelm. Little changes are more do-able and if you forget them for a couple of days, it’s not too hard to pick them back up again. So I have some thoughts about loving your spouse and some practical baby step ideas. Make time for your husband. Most of us have lives that lean toward crazy busy and it’s easy to put your mature spouse on the back burner and give your attention to all the squeaky children wheels. But, really, what you give your time to, shows what is important to you. When you spend time with your husband, you are letting people know that you are invested in this relationship. (The funny thing is that kids will often fight you over this. Maybe they just need for you to prove that you really do mean to stay together in love. In a culture of divorce our kids have readymade fears.) Baby steps: Put your kids to bed at a regular time (so that you and your husband can have couple time each evening). Use that time to connect. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just talk, share a dessert, play a game, or hold hands on the couch. Make your bedroom reflect your tastes and needs as a couple. Swap babysitting with another couple or two (so that you each have date nights and babysitting nights). Put sex on the calendar. Look for an interest that you can share. Play nice. You love each other, right? How are you expressing that? Are you polite to each other? Are you physically affectionate? Is your tone of voice kind and respectful? Make your marriage (and by extension your home) a place of warmth and safety. Baby steps: Say please and thank you. Kiss and hug. Take one attitude (like respect or generosity) and practice it for a month. Let the attitude color every thing you do or say. Pray about it. Let God teach you about it. Then pick another attitude and work on that for awhile. 23

Be a team. We are not born with team playing skills. We have to learn them. And, honestly, these are the some of the most important skills for our kids to learn. The scary part is that what we do, not what we say, is what they are likely to learn. How do you and your husband act under stress? Do you pull together and encourage each other or do you become adversaries? How easily do you own your own mistakes? How easily do you forgive? This stuff can be hard work! Baby steps: Remind each other that you are a team and that you’re working together. Work for win/win solutions to disagreements. Look around for a couple with a healthy marriage. Invite them to dinner, build a friendship, and learn from them. Read, read, read. There are books on just about every subject from parenting to date night ideas to growing your character (my husband says he is a character). Discuss these things (the books, not my husband). Do you agree? What have you learned? How can you practice what you’ve read? Learn to think in baby steps and work on only one or two baby steps at a time. Be patient with each other. The learning process is messy. Offer a bit of grace. Life is not perfect for us and it won’t be perfect for our kids. We can, however, offer them a sane model for living and loving.

Bio: Lori Byerly is married to The Generous Husband and lives in the beautiful Northwest US. She is the mom of two and has a lovely new granddaughter. She works for two nonprofit ministries, and ministers in the area of marriage and small group church expressions.

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I highly recommend this book!!!~Sue Cramer

the good girl’s guide

to great sex

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Before I was married, I was presented

Thankfully, my husband and I muddled

with a book about sex in a Christian marriage. I

through, and God convicted both of us that we

read it in the bathtub, and it made me so mad I

needed to change our attitudes and start loving

held it under the water until it drowned.

each other. Now, twenty years later, our sex life is

Why did I feel so homicidal towards a book? It was all about how to make your wed-

wonderful. Looking back, though, I’m glad I had

ding night work like clockwork, explaining what

those years where things were lousy, because I do

to do so that you'd both have fireworks your first

understand women who say, “I’m just too tired to

time together. It was so much pressure! I was

have sex”, or “is that all he ever thinks about?

young, inexperienced, and scared. I wanted

Why can’t he just love me for me, and not what I

some reassurance that sex was nothing to fear,

can do for him?”

and that I could relax and things would work out.

In The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, I try to help

Instead I felt like I was going to have to write a

women see everything that God made sex to

test afterwards to make sure I got everything

be—how it’s supposed to unite us physically, but

right.

also spiritually and emotionally. And perhaps if we By the way, the book didn't work. My

moms understood that more, we’d be more ea-

wedding night was lousy! And so were the first

ger to jump into bed! So what are the things that

few years of my marriage.

I’ve learned that might help moms enjoy making love more? 24

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

It’s All In Your Head

Men Need Sex—But Not the Way You Think

Have you heard it said that men are like microwaves and women are like slow cookers, because men heat up quicker than women? I’ve never liked that analogy because it implies that a woman will, eventually, heat up. The truth is there’s no guarantee. He can be doing exactly the same thing to you that had you in raptures

Sometimes I feel uncomfortable reading Christian marriage books, because they portray men almost like animals. Men have a biological urge for sex, and so we women have to satisfy it. But not all marriages all like this. In my research, I found that 25% of wives have the higher libidos than their husbands. They often feel like

two nights ago, but today you can be lying there

freaks, but they’re not, and I give

thinking, “hurry up and get it over with

strategies to try to right this imbal-

so I can get to sleep”.

ance.

Our libidos are largely in our

Yet even if the husband does have

heads. When we throw ourselves into

the higher libido, is the typical mes-

it, our bodies usually follow. But if we

sage that “you need to satisfy him”

have negative attitudes about sex,

really the best way to motivate

nothing he can do can turn the tide.

women? That doesn’t sound very

We control our own switch.

inviting. Even worse, it makes men

I know many women have

seem awfully shallow.

deep issues from past abuse, or from

Men don’t want to be pla-

rejection, or from betrayal. They may even feel ashamed or embarrassed about sex. All of these things can impede our ability to just “jump in”. That’s okay. But if we can tell ourselves the truth— that sex was designed to be beautiful—then our sex lives will be much better. If we instead declare, “I guess sex will never work for me,” then it never will. What we think about sex tends to be what happens with sex. So we need to fill our

cated; they want to be wanted. They yearn to know that their wives desire them. Most men sincerely want to give their wives pleasure. So don’t be afraid to teach your husband what feels good! And if you don’t know, spend some time just touching to figure it out. Passion, feeling as if you both are enjoying it, is a truly intimate experience. And it’s that intimacy that both men and women actually crave.

heads with the truth from God. 25

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Cont….

Cont…

Not just that, but sex binds you together. When

Sex Has Benefits When you have kids hanging off of you all

day, it’s easy to just say at night, “I don’t want anything else—or anyone else—on my to-do list.” In the research for my book, I found that exhaustion

you make love, he feels invigorated and energized. He feels more lovey-dovey. And isn’t that what we want? When we don’t make love, he often gets grumpy, and we withdraw because we feel guilty. It’s a circle. The circle can drive

was the number one reason women said no to sex. And they’re saying no in large numbers. While

you apart—as you each get more ticked at each other for not meeting needs—or it can bring you

Christian married women are the most likely to enjoy sex, we’re still not doing it very often. About

together. It’s your choice. You can wish your husband were a different person, but you can’t

40% of moms with kids at home make love less

change him. What you can change is how you

than once a week. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate. When you make love, you sleep better! You fall asleep faster and your sleep is more productive. So spending fifteen minutes in the evening being more active with your husband will help you feel more rested.

act. And maybe, by viewing sex more positively, and deciding to “jump in”, you’ll find that you create a different dynamic in your marriage because you both feel more loved. And that, after all, is part of what sex was created for.

Sheila Wray Gregoire is a speaker, writer, and columnist who loves talking about marriage! She's launching a new speaking tour this year with Girl Talk: Straight Talk about Sexual Intimacy, coming to a church new you. You can usually find her at her Belleville, Ontario home homeschooling her two daughters, or at her blog: http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com, which she updates daily.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

RESTORED Written by: Denise Dykstra

On a sunny day that found the sick bugs banished from both our homes for the moment, Brigitte and I had a few moments to chat on the phone. Well, that was the plan. Just chat about a few questions for an article but we chatted for nearly 45 minutes! Sometimes you are just blessed to find that person who is down to earth, real and with a fire that you cannot help but be impressed with. It also helps if you start talking about Pogs, but that’s another story. Brigitte is a new Christian artist in Michigan. She has been on stage with Skillet, Jeremy Camp, Group 1 Crew, Family Force, Addison Road, Jamie Grace, Everyday Sunday and Jessa Anderson. Summer starts her busy season, traveling to fairs and festivals. I asked her how she did all that and balance her life as a wife and mom.

Brigitte’s husband of seven years, Jonathon, is an electrician by trade and travels with her. More often than not, their young son Isaiah travels with them as well. “You have to learn how to prioritize family but I am blessed to have the ministry tie in with my family.” The feeling that you get the most when speaking to Brigitte is just how real her faith in God is. She is not someone out there just spouting words; she is living and breathing her love of her Heavenly Father. The favorite song she has recorded on her album is “Bloodstained Tears”. “I really didn’t write it,” she tells me, “God did. I just woke up with it and within five minutes I had it written. The song is completely not me, but God is taking it and ministering with it. We think of the cross as pretty but we don’t think how broken and painful it was. It is a dynamic concept. Dying...He sees us. He saw me.” Brigitte can be found on Facebook and twitter. You can purchase her cd right from her website, just ten dollars will get it in your hands.

www.BrigitteDonoho.com

“It’s always a challenge,” she admits first off, “It’s a season in life and I rely on the Lord to lead and direct in every aspect of life.” She also admitted she is helpless without God and is quick to add it is amazing what can happen with the Lord on your side. 29

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Some of our Pinterest faves! Click on pictures to follow links.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Andy also has weekly style tips on Star 105.7 in West Michigan! With her international best selling book, STYLE ON A SHOESTRING and more than 100 "fabulously frugal" makeovers on over 200 episodes of television airing in 14 countries, Andy Paige has earned the title "The Budget Bombshell" honestly. Andy’s extensive work on NBC’s Starting Over, TLC’s Ten Years Younger, STYLE Network’s How Do I Look, SOAP NET’s Soap Talk, and countless local network style segments have all made Andy the charming and sassy go-to gal for "thrifty-chic" fashion fixes and budget beauty help. You can also see Andy exercise her “Cents of Style” muscles every week on NBC’s Celebrity Apprentice, where she oversees hair, makeup and wardrobe for Donald Trump’s cast of celebrity characters. Andy inspires thousands of radio listeners all over the country each week with playful and entertaining bargain beauty and style tips on KJOY 98.3 in New York, STAR 105.7 in Michigan and the syndicated Kim Iverson Show. You can also find Andy's advice on economic beautification in the pages of Soap Opera Digest, The National Inquirer, Woman’s Day, First for Women, Cutting Edge, on countless websites, and on her own wildly popular website, centsofstyle.com. A celebrated, funny, interactive speaker, Andy recently completed a 50-city speaking tour reaching over 30,000 women, helping frugal girls "find their foxy" from coast to coast. Her dynamic message is clear and feeds the hungry ears of fashionistas worldwide, "You do NOT have to spend a fortune to look like a million!"

www.AndyPaige.com

Appreciating that most gals live on a budget and still want to turn heads and drop jaws, Andy created her own line of affordable, allnatural-hair ANDY PAIGE COSMETIC BRUSHES™and launched CENTS OF STYLE® ACCESSORY SUITES™ – thrifty-chic accessories bundled together for an immediate style boost – to help make looking spectacular fun and easy! Both Andy’s cosmetic brushes and her Accessory Suites™ have been incredibly successful, selling out within hours of their launch and gathering fans and happy customers across the globe. Much of Andy’s gumption and know -how comes from her years as a Ford and Wilhelmina Model, a professional fit model working with more than 40 designers, a trained makeup artist, and her broad education, including a master’s degree from the historic New School University. Andy simply knows what it takes for every woman – no matter their size, shape, shade or salary – to look and feel gorgeous. Andy’s passion for her work shines. She is undoubtedly a sweet force of originality, leading the way and waving her fashion flag that reads, "Enjoy Being Thrifty!"

Turn the page for Andy’s advice for our feet this Spring! 31

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Hey sole-sister, it's that time. The sun is speaking to your feet! The change in the weather is begging your tootsies to come out for some sandal prancing. Your itch for spring has you pining for your favorite opentoed shoes. Are your feet ready? Before you let your winter feet loose in some strappies, let's talk about some pretty feet and sandal rules that are a must for lady-like sandal sporting. Repeat after me, I pledge to the "Faux-Pas Sisterhood" that I will keep my feet in "pretty" condition if I am going to bare them to the world, no matter the effort involved! This means you pledge to: 

shave the hair on your big toes



file the dead skin off your heels before it turns hard and yellow



go polish-free rather than sport chipped, raggedy-looking polish 

address corns immediately

keep your toenails trimmed to a length that doesn't scrape the sidewalk with every step! 

I will happily honor my pledge and hope you will too. :-)

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And while we are on the subject of feet faux-pas, let's talk about sandal etiquette. I see you...you're curling your toes right now at the thought of more "fashion rules", but there are a couple of things to keep in mind when strapping on or sliding into your favorite spring/summer shoes. Toes should not hang over the front or spill over the sides. Heels should not hang over the back. Straps should not be so tight that feet and/or toes bulge out between the straps like bound Vienna sausages. Too big is equally bad...heels and toes should come within 1/2" or a pinky nail from the front and a pinky nail from the back of shoes. If we can see our toes...we should not see any sign of hose!

Upgrade your casual look with a thong sandal that has a little more style and finish. The ease of flipflops is wonderful, but the style is a choice that reflects your moxy and fashionable spirit. Choose something fabulous and a little nicer than you had last year. It will make a world of difference in how you feel about everything you wear with them. You and your pretty feet are worth it! ** The trick to getting a great fitting shoe, especially when considering the strappy variety, is to shop and try shoes on at the end of the day when your feet are at their largest. My last tip to nailing your spring pedi is to choose a fabulous new color polish. Some thing you've never tried before. The hot colors of the season are electric brights and fun cool tones like blue, green and purple. Toenails don't have to be pink or red any more and the new colors look fresh and fun...they even make your feet and shoes look cuter. So push yourself into something different. IT'S JUST POLISH! You can do it.

Finally, I know you love them, but rubber flip-flops are really for the beach.

And send me a pic of your sweet feet on Facebook!

www.AndyPaige.com 33

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Remembering Moms

A Time of Embracing and Releasing Bridget Haymond

This Mother’s Day will be a unique one for me because it'll be the first without my mother. She passed away in November, ten years after being positively diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I'm of the classic “sandwich generation”, still raising my own children while overseeing the care for an aging parent. It’s been an interesting journey and one that has brought about the need for me to embrace new things while releasing others. Releasing to a new family. Moving mom into a homecare facility was the hardest thing my dad and I had ever done and I felt a lot of guilt, but I knew it was best and safest for her. Seeing your parent live with other people is strange, but eventually you see how they bond and become like their second family. By the grace of God, I found a good homecare facility less than 10 minutes from my home and it’s a good thing because 6 months after she moved in, my dad passed away unexpectedly. 34

Embracing new responsibilities. As an only child, I became legally responsible for mom after my dad passed. Even though I was not the day-to-day caregiver, I was very involved in decisions related to managing her healthcare and medication, dealing with insurance issues, acting as her representative with various organizations as well as handling all financial affairs. Releasing expectations. My children were 2 and 5 years old when mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and my greatest sorrow is that they have no memories of her prior to being under the influence of this disease and the odd behavior that ensued. It's required lots of explaining in order for my children to learn to not take things personal and understand it was the disease talking and not Grandma.

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Embracing in a new way. Sometimes she knew me, most times she didn’t. I couldn’t control my mom’s Alzheimer’s, but I could control how I responded to her while she was under its influence. It was always my desire to serve my mom and honor her by making sure that she was treated with dignity. This meant always being honest, kind and gentle with her even when she was confused, fearful, agitated or hallucinating. Releasing changing stages. No longer able to go to the salon to get her hair done every week, I began to cut and color her hair, which was a new experience for us as mother and daughter. However as she further declined, I had to stop coloring her hair, but continued cutting it. I watched my mom go from needing help with her shower to needing diapers, then from assistance drinking to full feeding support with blended foods and thickened liquids, then finally from wheel chair to Geri-Chair. I had to remain flexible, going with the flow of the changing stages of Alzheimer’s. Embracing new lessons. Because of my mother’s disease my children have learned how to be gracious and kind to older people who are excited to see young kids. They’ve seen that sometimes a oneway conversation is okay because somewhere deep down that person you used to know is still in there and they can hear you. I’ve learned and laughed a lot through the various changes my mom has endured – including the adventure of going out in public, never knowing what she might do to surprise me. I learned that even though someone is confused, they can still have a good sense of humor and it’s good to joke and have fun with them. Releasing to the Lord. I released mom to Him years before when it became evident that He was the only one who could reach her in her confused state. God was faithful to guide me in: overseeing all her needs, 35

finding good places for her to live and in managing her healthcare. Usually Alzheimer’s patients loose ability to alternate between breathing and swallowing causing them to aspirate, and get pneumonia. This is what happened to my mom and by the time we realized she had pneumonia, it was too late to save her. I recognized this was God’s way of releasing her from her suffering so it was easy for me to honor her wishes and not send her to the hospital, but admit her to hospice and allow her pass. It’s what she would have wanted and I knew it. Remembering mom. This Mother’s Day I will be remembering our experiences, laughter and lessons learned. She was the vessel the Lord used to give me life, nourish me, nurture me and instruct me. No longer frail and confused, this Mother’s Day I’ll be rejoicing that she is at home with her Savior peacefully resting in His loving arms.

Bridget Haymond lives in beautiful North Carolina with her husband, teen and tween daughters, and Fiona the cat. She is a Certified Leadership Coach and Human Behavior Consultant. By incorporating her biblical and theological training, Bridget coaches women who are ready to renew their passion, refresh their mission and refocus their life so they can experience true significance as they live out their God-given calling. She’s also a book reviewer, writer, coffee lover and humor enthusiast! You can visit her website at BridgetHaymond.com or connect with her on facebook at Bridget Haymond - Christian Life Coach or on twitter

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Modern. Trendy. Beautiful. Contemporary handcrafted sterling silver jewelry for today's modern woman! I use recycled silver, copper, gold and gemstones to create wearable pieces of art jewelry.

Featured in Grand Rapids Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s LifeStyle

www.StudioJewel.com 36

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It’s not just for New Years anymore... The New York Times Best Selling book Made to Crave is the missing link between a woman’s desire to be healthy and the spiritual empowerment necessary to make that happen. Author Lysa TerKeurst personally understands the battle that women face. In Made to Crave, she will help you: 

Break the cycle of “I’ll start again on Monday,” and feel good about yourself today.



Stop agonizing over numbers on the scale and make peace with your body.



Replace rationalization that leads to diet failure with wisdom that leads to victory.



Reach your healthy goals and grow closer to God through the process.

We don’t need January to tell us when to start over, we can do it today! Trying to get healthy can seem overwhelming and complicated. Eat carbs… don’t eat carbs. Eat fish… don’t eat fish. Pay attention to calories… don’t pay attention to calories. All this conflicting information can be daunting and confusing. That’s why we’ve made it simple in the Made to Crave Action Plan. Based on the extensive research of Dr. Ski Chilton we’ve identified the 5 best nutrition choices you can make. A follow-up to the New York Times bestselling Made to Crave book and group study, this sixsession video-based study will help you put realistic everyday healthy choices into practice and will encourage you on your journey to healthy living.

AND...Based on the New York Times bestseller, Made to Crave, this companion book expands on the original, providing 60 new inspirational devotionals to encourage you in your weight-loss journey. The Made to Crave Devotional contains the best nuggets of wisdom from Made to Crave, plus new material not included in the original..

All available at: www.MadeToCrave.org 37

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MY HUSBAND IS AN ACCUSED SEX OFFENDER...

where can I go for help?

“A SOUL WITH SKIN”

can’t help her.

She did that. She’s just too far gone. Her situation is way too messy. I simply refuse to condone that behavior. I’m broken myself. What positive voice do I have to give someone? These are reasons why some hold themselves back from cheering on people who are in a rock bottom moment. And the statements above are usually voiced from experiencing the same reactions from something in their own past. I truly believe we are the ones to end the cycle of walking past brokenness. Cheering people on isn’t condoning actions. Cheering people on isn’t enabling. Cheering people on is choosing to see an individual’s worth. To see them as a unique human being who matters. Who has an important now that is just as important as their future.

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We can no longer allow behaviors to dictate how we treat another soul who has skin. If it wasn’t for people cheering me on when I was in my rock bottom moment of being the wife of an accused sex offender, I would not be here. I would probably still be in the ditch resolved to live in the ditch I found myself in. But I had a cheer team. And still do. People who did and currently are investing truths into this soul’s heart. That’s why there is not one human I couldn’t stand in the corner with. Because I now view an individual beyond the behavior and look straight at their humanness. I believe in you. Let’s link virtual arms together and cheer others on. One human at a time. For more visit: www.TheOffendersWife.org

THE OFFENDER’S WIFE Restoring dignity. Cultivating courage. Awakening hope.

Karen Hammons has a tenacious passion for people to seize ownership of their imperfect now and not hit the pause button until the perfect future decides to play. Building tangible relationships and community in real life and online is an art she creates each day through her personal blog (karenhammons.org), non-profit platform, The Offender’s Wife (theoffenderswife.org) and as a Community Leader for the movement, People of the Second Chance (www.potsc.com). She is madly entangled to Danny and wannabe rockstar Mom to Avery and Alex. Follow her and her pinkish-red faux-hawk at @karenhammons (twitter.com/karenhammons) so she can cheer you on!

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

New POTSC Campaign “Labels Lie: Don’t Accept Them. Don’t Use Them.” The campaign’s focus is on being liberated from the prison of societies’ labels. We don’t have to live with the shame of what people have said about us. We don’t have to accept these statements as our true identity. When we judge, label, diminish and criticize each other, this becomes the fuel for shame and guilt to fester in our souls. A label says we are unworthy, flawed and unacceptable. Sadly we live in a society driven by stereotyping, gossiping, labeling and blame…and it is destroying us. Words like ugly, stupid, adulterer, addict, illegal, failure, ex-con, slut, fag and other dehumanizing labels are thrown around with no regard for how they damage. It is time to talk about shame and the toxic labels we believe about ourselves. It is time to be liberated from the lies of labels and experience the powerful truth of who we really are…Loved… Worthy…Beautiful…Accepted.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

To learn more about POTSC and this campaign: www.POTSC.com Twitter: @POTSC Facebook: People of the Second Chance 41

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This book is designed to challenge and inspire women to go deeper in their relationship with God and to challenge them to make a stronger impact on the world around them. Each week the devotionals focus on one word or theme and you will hear from seven different authors who share different perspectives on that theme. Some of the themes that are covered in this year's devotional book are: Fear, Communication, Vision, Goals, Talents, and many more! Each of these devotions are designed to not only be something that you read but also something that you do as each one ends with a daily challenge for you to complete. Women who commit to the LeadHer challenge will find themselves led on a journey of faith, purpose, and application this year! For more info about LeadHer and the new devotional: www.LeadHer.org

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Praise and Coffee RUNS!

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve partnered with Run With Endurance to encourage women to connect with each other and start a RWE chapter in their community!

Check out Run With Endurance at: www.RunWithEndurance.net or click here for a direct link: Run With Endurance

Casie Dussia is a small business owner and a personal trainer that ministers to womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s soul, mind and body and is the founder of RWE~Run with Endurance. She lives in Southwest Michigan and enjoys life with her husband John and son. Casie is a team partner to the Praise and Coffee Night ministry in Plainwell, MI. 43

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Encouragement for Today with

Ronel Sidney

When Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Time To Move On

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

I will never forget the feeling I felt holding my

sweet four month old baby boy. I can still remember asking my husband if he was ready for another baby. We laughed because through the entire pregnancy everyone warned us that we wouldn't want another baby because of the struggles with sleepless nights and infancy. Yet here we were looking at each other and saying lets try and see what happens. The love we felt for our son and each other was so great we were certain it would be amazing to add to our family. Through the first two years of our sons’ life I rushed everything from taking the binky away to potty training in anticipation of adding another to our lives. I thought as long as I had Lucas moving along things would be easier when baby #2 joined our family. We bought a bigger SUV and began making plans to store all our baby stuff to save money. As the months turned into years I began to think it was not time. I eventually gave all our baby stuff to a young family in need. It was about this time that seeds of doubt began to sink deep inside me. I thought that I was not a good enough wife and mom to be blessed with another baby. The sadness of infertility was heart breaking and defeating. I had essentially put my life on hold for the “what if this is the month we finally get a positive test result.” I put off college, losing weight and getting into shape in longing anticipation. Eventually I had to start taking steps forward. Sadly it did NOT matter what I accomplished, the longing for another baby did not go away. Whether I threw myself into work, school or my son's activities there was still a hole in my heart. Anger began to surface as my confidence in ‘whose I was’ began faltering based on the lack of blessings of another baby. I began questioning everything in my life. Was it my own fault or was it my husbands fault? What did I do to cause God to be so angry at me? Why is He blessing everyone else while leaving me here agonizing over the emptiness in my heart and home? 45

Trying to think positively I began to say, “Well at least God blessed me with Lucas because many women are never able to have a baby.” The more I tried to convince myself of this truth the more I realized I was lying to myself. The frustration was just being masked by fake joy. God began showing me that I had an idol in my life... this wanting and desire in my heart was taking over space that God is supposed to be occupying in my life. If I would just let go and trust in Him He would fill the loneliness and hunger for a baby deep inside my soul. When we are obsessing over something (for me a baby) we are NOT fully living for God. For some women, trusting in God would mean planning for a miracle, but for me I think it means letting it go and moving on with my life. I have held onto my food issues for so many extra years because I kept telling myself after the next baby I would get back into shape, but what I NEED to do is live in His truth now. Letting go and walking in faith means making healthier choices for today NOT for tomorrow. Walking in the truth means I need to let go of control of my life, marriage and parenting to God. Sadly, I have held on too long to this dream, hope and desire... its time for me to put it to rest and walk in His truth. God loves me and He wants to occupy my whole heart. If we are living for what could be or what we think should be then we are NOT fully living today. We have no clue what tomorrow holds, we NEED to embrace life fully and intentionally, today. What are you holding onto? A want? A desire? An idol? May I encourage you to let go and walk in faith, fully living an intentional life. A life that is filled with laughter, joy and peace!! Let the dishes lie and laundry build up so you can go outside and enjoy all He has blessed you with in this life. Ronel Sidney is the National Director for Praise and Coffee Nights. Check out her blog: www.ChosenForMore.com

Contact her: Ronel@PraiseAndCoffee.com

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Looking at the world through

Back in the fall of 2010, the idea came to me to launch a website for moms called “Mom Colored Glasses”. Yes, it was a play on the phrase “rose colored glasses”, but not because motherhood conjures up an “unduly cheerful, optimistic, or favorable view of things”. Instead, it reminded me of the moment when my first child was placed in my arms. She was so small, so vulnerable, so beautiful, and I knew that I would never look at the world the same again. As I interacted with other moms, I found that this feeling was not unique. No matter what path they took to motherhood, whether through adoption, childbirth, a second marriage, foster care, or any other situation, their lens on life was also permanently transformed. We look at everything from world events to the produce section at the grocery store differently - through mom colored glasses. This transformation creates a common ground, and also a starting point for moms to develop knowledge and experience on what is important to their families. Having a child with special 46

needs, for example, requires very specific skills such as writing an effective IEP. Making the commitment to “green living” takes dedication to learn the ropes, from vinegar to clotheslines. Armed with these beliefs, three writers, and a couple dozen visitors, we set off to create a place where moms could come to get ideas, inspiration, and information on the topics that were important to them. We also created places where moms could write guest posts on their journey through motherhood and share their hard earned advice. It seemed like a great little idea, but I would have never thought that a year and a half later we would have jumped to a writing staff of 13, posted over 450+ articles, and expanded our reach to moms from almost every state and many countries. It is exhilarating, humbling, and terrifying all at the same time. There are many things I love about what we have become. I thrive through being part of a team of smart, talented moms who have endless expertise and unique perspectives to share. Just thinking about the synergy gives me goose bumps.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

We want to provide ideas, inspiration, and information for moms everywhere as we look at the world around us through MomColoredGlasses... I am constantly floored by the vulnerability and passion that our guest contributors bring to their posts as they write about infertility, single parenting, and everything in between. I also adore being a part of a larger community of bloggers who inspire and challenge me to be a better manager, writer, and parent. But the thing I love the most about being a part of Mom Colored Glasses is being able to visibly see the impact from what we post. Our monthly contributors write tirelessly about topics that fire them up, like the recent post where Sara, our Charitable Sense contributor, wrote about donating her hair to Pantene Beautiful Lengths. One of the comments stated, “I’m thinking now of growing it [my hair] out so I can donate it. Thanks for sharing your story!” Our mom guest contributors, who share either “Savvy Advice” or their “Mom Perspective”, have also had a tremendous impact. Several months ago, we posted one mom’s story called “Birth Moms – My Favorite Super Heroes”, which hit a chord with our readers. It was read hundreds of times, pinned relentlessly on Pinterest, and shared on dozens of Facebook pages, but the most amazing part was reading comments like, “Reading this made me feel so much better about my decision [to choose adoption], and feel a little less alone.” It is in those moments where my heart squeezes tight in my chest, and I realize that this is much more than a little mom website. It is in those moments 47

where I think back to the very beginning and recognize that God led us every step of the way, from connecting us with such an amazing mix of contributors to giving us opportunities to connect with moms online and in person. I can’t begin to guess what is in store for us in the future, but what I do know is that we will continue to look for ways to expand our reach as we provide a safe place for moms to share their perspectives through “Mom Colored Glasses”. Rachel Hammond began her personal blog, Circle of Quiet, in 2007, after realizing the power of connecting with other moms. In 2010, she partnered with Renae Wortz and Maggie Terryn to launch MomColoredGlasses, an online magazine dedicated to real, relevant and applicable information about what it means to be a mom. Rachel writes app & book reviews, career advice for moms and ideas about family life for MomColoredGlasses, and perspectives on life and motherhood for Circle of Quiet. More from Rachel on the next page...

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

inning My Worth on the Eternal Elaborate clothespin chore charts, beautiful cupcakes with glittering rainbows, and carefully sewn sleepover bags stare out at me from my laptop. I look at my Pinterest boards, littered with the evidence of my inadequacies as a mom, and sigh. Why can’t I be motivated to learn how to sew? Why do my cupcakes always come from a box? Why do my attempts at job charts always fail desperately and miserably?

“Why do I seem to never measure up?” The words slip out into the air between my nose and the screen, like an uninvited invasion of spiders. I watch them weave a web of guilt around my mind, invisible strands, but strong as steel. Caught in a trap of my own making, my mind starts to tell me that my kids are missing out because I should be able to do more, make more, be more… Rescue comes in the shape of a five-year-old boy. My knight in shining armor, decked in green shorts and a blue shark t-shirt, he brushes aside my guilt ridden cobwebs with one fell swoop. Climbing on my lap for a hug and a kiss, he leans into my ear and whispers, “You are the very best mommy”. I squeeze him close, breathing in the smell of his strawberry shampoo before he dashes away, and suddenly, I can see clearly once more. But what happens next time I am pulled towards inadequacy and my knight in green shorts isn’t around to save me? How do I keep myself untangled from the guilt that threatens to stifle me? I need backup. I need resources. 48

By: Rachel Hammond

The first thing I am reminded of is a quote that I heard recently that essentially says, “Be the best at being you”. I love this idea, both for being a mom and for living life. With my writing, I don’t want to be the best “Ann Voskamp,” because that job is already filled. Instead, I want to be the best “Rachel Hammond” I can possibly be. Same goes for motherhood, which means every time I start to think about how terrible it is that I can’t even sew on a button, I need to focus on being the best at what makes me the best mom for my kids. Things like… 

I am great at reading stories.



I play a mean game of freeze tag.



I love having the kids help me out in the kitchen.



I am great at playing make believe, especially restaurant.



I make awesome improvised trail mix.



I don’t mind bringing out the paint, glitter, and play-dough…all at the same time.

There are so many things that make me a good mom, and just like I want my kids to celebrate what makes them special, I need to do the same thing. If they see me being excited about the time we spend together playing Don’t Break the Ice instead of grumbling about why I didn’t construct my own game out of popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners, then they will too.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

The other reminder I have is my status as a child of God. In Luke 12:6-7, Jesus doesn’t mince words when he says, “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

You asked for it... Praise and Coffee Magazine is now available in print through MagCloud. Magazines can be ordered individually but not by print subscription. Yet.

I suppose you could modernize it and say, “You are worth more than many Pinterest boards.” That resonates with me, as I look away from the skills and abilities that I think define me and look towards the Truth that says I don’t have to do a single thing to prove my worth to God. He loves me whether I ever learn to sew or not. Don’t get me wrong; I love finding new ideas to try with my kids. I even write for a website that does that very thing. However, if I had my way, they would come with a warning label that reads, “Warning: These activities and ideas are not intended to define your worth. Completing them will not make you a better mom. Please proceed with caution. You are enough.” Rachel began her personal blog, Circle of Quiet, in 2007, after realizing the power of connecting with other moms. In 2010, she partnered with Renae Wortz and Maggie Terryn to launch MomColoredGlasses, an online magazine dedicated to real, relevant and applicable information about what it means to be a mom. Rachel writes app & book reviews, career advice for moms and ideas about family life for MomColoredGlasses, and perspectives on life and motherhood for Circle of Quiet.

The print magazines cost about $13-$15 each.

To order a copy in print, go to our website: PraiseAndCoffee.com and click on the magazine link.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Don’t Blink

from Chicka-Chicka-Boom-Boom Just yesterday, my boys were sitting on my lap reading chicka-chicka-boomboom and now today a box arrived with graduation announcements for my oldest. How did that happen? When did that happen? Blink. The parenting adventure has been the most exciting, exhausting, exhillerating and emotional journey I have ever been on in my life. From the moment, the stick had a plus sign on it until today has gone by in what seems to be the blink of an eye. Yes, I know, there are moms right now in the boundless bottles of life with babies, the temper tantrums of toddlerhood, or the excitement of elementary school and you are reading this with a face that says I just want to go to the bathroom by myself. I am coming to you in the midst of your world begging you to savor every day as the gift that it is.

By: Melissa M Blink. Oh do I remember well those older moms that would come up to me at the grocery store when my boys were little and say “enjoy it, they grow quickly” and I would look at them with a face of exhaustion and say “um, thanks” and nod my head. What do you say when older moms do that? In the midst of your world, you just want to be able to take a shower, and maybe...just maybe, fix your hair today. Fast forward to life in my world right now—my oldest boy is graduating in less than two months and my youngest boy just got his license. They are getting ready to leave the nest in the next few years and the clock is ticking for this mama to teach her boys a few more things before they leave.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

and Miss It

m to Graduation Announcements

Mashburn Blink. I am not sure exactly when it happened, I think it was around middle school when the light bulb came on for me. It might sound a little strange, but at that time it clicked for me and I realized that the clock was now ticking backwards for me. What I mean is that soon they would be leaving and there was less and less time for me to teach them the things I felt I needed to teach them before they go out into this great big world on their own. As their parents, we would always be there, of course, but the shift in thinking allowed me to start to get intentional about life lessons that they needed to know. I always knew that I wanted them to be Godfearing men who loved the Lord, were men of character who will lead their families well. It was time to start putting all those pieces together to make sure I did my part as their mom in teaching and training them. Blink. They were not babies anymore. They did not need me in the same ways that they did as toddlers, elementary or even middle schoolers. They were growing up…and so was I. As they started to grow into godly young men, I had to adjust too. They needed me, of course, but they also needed me to see that they were growing up. Can I just say that has not been easy at all? 51

It has taken a whole lot of prayer, many open discussions with the boys and with my husband, but thankfully we see the fruit of the years of building a godly legacy with the kids. I am not ready for them to go…not yet. The time is coming, sooner for one than the other, but until then each day is a gift. A gift to get to know the kids better, to encourage them, love on them, teach them, train them and also to prepare them to be the godly men I know they are. They may not be able to sit in my lap and read the adventures of Chicka-ChickaBoom-Boom any longer, but they still need their mama to talk to about the adventure of life…and this mama is not going to miss a minute of it. Sweet sisters, do not blink and miss it. I almost did. Your babies need you. At every stage, they need you. Stay involved. Stay plugged in. Keep praying for your kids and know that before you know it you too will get those graduation announcements in your mailbox. When you do, say a little prayer and thank God that you did not blink and miss it. Melissa is a woman who is passionately pursing God every day by taking her everyday, ordinary life and placing it as her offering to Him. With a heart to "keep it real" her life and ministry is all about "Real Women, Real Life, Real Faith" in action. She is an author, speaker, Pastor's Wife, ministry leader and more importantly mom to two incredible teenage sons. Melissa has been married to her best friend Matt for almost 19 years where they live and enjoy ministry in Sunny South Florida. You can find Melissa in her world, Mel’s World, at www.MelissaMashburn.com, on twitter @Mels_World, Facebook, and even on Pinterest (far too often).

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Dinner Time Why Is It So Important? By: Denise Dykstra

In the morning, when I drop my boys off at school, I give them a hug and with that hug I let them know what we will be having for dinner that night. I am certain that my boys fear I will forget to feed them if I do not tell them what it is we will be eating.

Families that eat together have better communication.

This tradition started innocently enough. The boys would ask me on the way to school what was for dinner. I would think, “Sheesh, we JUST finished breakfast, how can they be hungry all ready?” Most of the time I had no idea what was for dinner. But they kept asking and I began to plan so I would have an answer for them.

Oprah Winfrey conducted a "Family Dinner Experiment" in 1993 (13,14). Five families volunteered to accept the challenge to eat dinner together every night for a month, staying at the table for a half-hour each time. As part of the experiment, all family members kept journals to record their feelings about the experience. At first, sharing meals was a chore for many families and the minutes at the table dragged on. But, by the end of the month, the families were happy and planned to continue dining together most evenings if not every night.

It didn’t take me long to start planning the entire week’s worth of dinners. Going to the store meant one big trip to purchase all the week’s ingredients and maybe a run or two for milk during the week. I soon loved our new system. It made life much less stressful.

When the families appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show at the end of the experiment, the greatest surprise to the parents was how much their children treasured the dependable time with their parents at the table. (HTTP://NUTRITION.WSU.EDU/EBET/BACKGROUND.HTML )

Our boys cannot fathom life any other way than to have dinner at the table, seven days a week. On the weekends they look forward to a big breakfast in the morning and something planned for lunch (even if it’s canned ravioli). I don’t always have it figured out. There are some days my best laid plans don’t work out and there are some days I just wing it. That’s life.

Families that eat together find that their children have better school performance.

Lately there has been more and more “chatter” about getting back to the dinner table. Having grown up in a family that always had dinner at the table every night, I know nothing different. But the facts I discovered have 52

Children are better adjusted when they have family diners together. And while children in the studies always seem to reap the benefit, I found this interesting in Time magazine… “In fact, it’s the experts in adolescent development who wax most emphatic about the value of family meals, for it’s in the teenage years that this daily investment pays some of it’s biggest dividends. Studies show that the more often families eat together, the less likely kids are

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

...to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders and consider suicide, and the more likely they are to do well in school, delay having sex, eat their vegetables, learn big words and know which fork to use.

grocery list. She orders her basic groceries at a large store, such as Sam’s Club, and has them packaged and all ready so that she can just pick up them up.

“If it were just about food, we would squirt it into their mouths with a tube,” says Robin Fox, an anthropologist who teaches at Rugers University in New Jersey, about the mysterious way that family dinner engraves our souls. “A meal is about civilizing children. It’s about teaching them to be a member of the culture.” (HTTP://WWW.TIME.COM/TIME/MAGAZINE/ ARTICLE/0,9171,1200760,00.HTML )

Imagine just driving to the store and they have all your groceries ready to go for you. I love this image.

Families that eat together, eat better. While that may scare some of you non cooks out there, you can just browse the grocery store to see you can get about any meal premade (my brother and sister-in-law really love the ready to go crock pot meals). Unfortunately, I know that on the nights it’s a free for all, I will end up with tortilla chips, cheese and salsa and I look the other way when my boys devour cans of ravioli. I read an article recently by a mom who had worked with her husband to completely redo their home. I loved what Terry Serena said, “Like many families, the Serena’s gravitate to the kitchen. The butcher block island is the hangout area,” Terry says, “The kids (Dylan, 14; Greg, 13; Jason, 9) do their homework here or have a snack – they seem to eat 24 hours a day! But we make it a ritual to have our meals at the dinner table every night and talk about the day’s events. I think it’s important; it’s a staple of family life that is disappearing.” HTTP://WWW.COUNTRYWOMANMAGAZINE.COM/VICTORIA N-HOUSE/ One of the best meal planners I know is my friend Karen Weger. A homeschool mom who has her husband traveling for WEEKS at a time, she grocery shops once a month. Yup, you read that right. Once a month. I asked her for advice on this subject. What she shared took her nearly ten years to figure out and is not yet perfected…but she shared her plan with all of us. The plan came about out of necessity. Her husband travels so much, her kids are home schooled, and their payday was being switched to just once a month. She knew she had to get creative to make the month’s check stretch. First, Karen wrote down all her favorite family’s favorite meals. Then she categorized them according to ingredients. When she had a list of ingredients, she made up a 53

She still does runs throughout the month for milk, fruit, spoil worthy things…but as a general rule she knows what days she will make what meal and has the ingredients in her home to make them. She suggested buying things during sales to keep a pantry full because a stocked pantry is such a help in keeping a family fed. She suggested starting small. Start with one weeks worth of meals and just buy all those ingredients. If you want to plan for a month but the idea of making a meal every day wears you out, just do the same meal on that day of the week. For instance, every Monday have chicken for dinner. Then buy accordingly and you will have your food in your home for that month of meals…and no stress over what day you will make what meal. Try it!! I noticed that even when reading in the Bible, meal times is a common theme: 

Breakfast with Jesus on the beach, John 21



Manna and quail



The wedding in Cana



The loaves and fishes



Mary and Martha

Family meals are an important key to strong families. If you aren’t having meals together, start! Start small…but just start. It may seem awkward at first, but you all just may be surprised how much that meal time becomes memory time. Denise Dykstra, co-editor of Praise and Coffee the Magazine. Denise is heavily caffeinated and joyfully married to her truck driving, farming husband. They reside in Michigan raising their four boys (ages 12 to 6) on a hobby farm that keeps them hopping busy. She updates friends on her sons’ latest escapades and caught snakes on her blog “Life With Four Boys...Coffee Please!” Denise@PraiseandCoffee.com

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Praise and Coffee Cooks with

Sarah is a freelance corporate photographer and recipe developer who started her blog, www.ShortStopblog.com, in May 2007. She chronicles her life as a frazzled mother, shares her favorite recipe creations, and marvels at God's amazing work of grace in her life. When not blogging, racing to basketball practice, or sitting in the Starbucks drive-thru line, you'll find her curled up with her family cheering on the Baltimore Ravens. Sarah lives in Raleigh, N.C. with her husband, Jason, and four boys Jack, Max, Lincoln, and Whitman.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

I've never liked carrot cake. For three reasons: 1. I'd find things like raisins, crushed pineapple, and coconut in the cake. And, sit there with my fork and attempt to pick them out. And, nuts. Always nuts. I like nuts in general, but I don't like them in carrot cake. 2. I don't like spice cakes. Allspice, cloves, nutmeg - too much of that makes me feel all itchy in the mouth. I just have an aversion to too much of those kinds of spices. 3. Long, stringy carrots. I don't know, I just never warmed up to the idea of an inch long piece of carrot in a cake. So, I came up with a recipe that is - well - simple. No nuts, no raisins, no pineapple. No overpowering spices. And, no long, stringy carrots hangin' off the fork. Oh, how I love this frosting. Specks of cinnamon are swimmin' in it. They're living the life I was meant to live.

Just a simple, delicious, moist carrot cake. This cake makes me wanna take a running leap right into it and swim in the frosting.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

This cake is made extra moist and rich by the addition of buttermilk - into the cake and in the frosting! And, I pulse the livin' daylights out of the carrots with a food processor, resulting in little bits of carrot, instead of stringy strings. I couldn't wait for the cake to cool to frost it and dig in. So, I grabbed my favorite plate and cut a piece. That's warm frosting dripping down the side. And, on my favorite plate. Heaven, help me.

I thought I'd snap a photo after I took a bite. Oh, how I suffer in the name of photography. Isn't this plate just a perfect shade of green? But, that's not why it's my favorite. You'll see why in a minute.

Nah, maybe one more bite and I'll have the shot I want.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Nope. Not it. Surely one more bite and I'll have the perfect shot.

Umm. That's not the look I was going for. Somebody stop me.

I could never leave my plate lookin' like this.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Never. Ever. Finger swiped up every last delicious bit of that frosting. That little guy in the middle stole my heart the minute I saw him on a Pottery Barn shelf - just sittin' on a beautiful, milky green plate. I bought six of them. I love them. Grab your favorite plate and make this carrot cake this Spring. For Mother's Day. For Dad. For your favorite graduate. You'll be finger swipin' the icing, too. Promise.

Carrot Cake with Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting Ingredients:

In a large bowl, combine flour, cinnamon, baking soda and salt and mix well with a fork. Set aside.

2 cups flour 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon

In a mixing bowl, combine sugar, brown sugar, vegetable oil, and buttermilk. Beat with electric mixer until combined. Add eggs and mix thoroughly. Fold in chopped carrots.

2 teaspoons baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup sugar 1 cup brown sugar

Slowly add flour mixture, mixing only until flour disappears. Pour batter into pan and bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes, or until center bounces back when lightly pressed.

3/4 cup vegetable oil 3/4 cup buttermilk 4 eggs, beaten 6 medium carrots, peeled and finely chopped

Cool cake before frosting. (Unless you can't wait, in which I perfectly understand.)

Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting: 1 (8-ounce) block cream cheese, softened 1/4 cup butter, softened 1 (16 ounce) box confectioner's sugar 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1 tablespoon buttermilk

For the frosting, combine cream cheese and butter in a mixing bowl and beat until fluffy - approximately 2 minutes. Add the confectioner's sugar and vanilla and beat on low speed until combined. Add buttermilk, milk, and cinnamon and beat until frosting is light and fluffy. Add more milk, if needed to get to desired consistency.

1 tablespoon milk 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Frost. Serve. Eat. Lick clean. Repeat as often as you like.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 x 13 baking pan.

You are, after all, eating vegetables.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Connect with Praise and Coffee online!

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

The warm weather makes my boys go crazy. I know that for as long as people were knee high to a grasshopper, they have been talking about â&#x20AC;&#x153;spring feverâ&#x20AC;?. I firmly believe in spring fever. My boys suddenly go outside and cover themselves with freezing cold mud, come in covered in dirt and grass stains, dig out wild onions to eat, gather earth worms, run towards snakes, stain the tub with mud, etc etc etc. Any New Years Resolutions to have a clean home are GONE come spring.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

As my boys get taller, I seem to get smaller. Our oldest is turning thirteen this summer (I will require great amounts of therapy when this happens) and I have informed him that on that day he will have to buy his mother a gift… high heels. He is as tall as me now…how did this happen? Spring always has me looking for new dresses and fun heels to wear. I hide my jeans for frilly skirts and fun dresses as often as I can. So when I was asked this by my husband, I was rather shocked. Fifteen years of marriage and he didn’t know? Let me set it up for you… After viewing his sixteen year old niece’s short dress for some school dance, he again was thankful that we do not have daughters and pretty much plans on grounding the boys to our hobby farm so they never can go out and meet girls until they are thirty. “I told her that skirt was too short,” he said, “And that’s when she told me it was a dress. I know a too short skirt.”

I doubled over in laughter. “Really? You really don’t know?” I asked. My husband realized he must be wrong, especially after I had to put that question up on Facebook and Twitter, so he asked our boys. They had no idea either. Our oldest finally thought about it long and hard and on the way to church he said, “A dress covers all of you and a skirt you wear with a shirt, right?” “Right,” I smiled at him. I also asked my husband to buy me a new dress AND a new skirt so he would know…but that hasn’t happened. So, in this spring and summer season, when you pull out your favorite dressy outfit, run it by your husband, just for giggles. “Is this a dress or a skirt?” Let me know what he says.

“It was a dress,” I replied simply as I got ready for church that morning. “Really?” Silence. Then the question. “What’s the difference between a skirt and a dress?” I just looked at him a bit. “A skirt is short and a dress is long, right?” he asked me.

Denise Dykstra, co-editor of Praise and Coffee the Magazine. Denise is heavily caffeinated and joyfully married to her truck driving, farming husband. They reside in Michigan raising their four boys (ages 12 to 6) on a hobby farm that keeps them hopping busy. She updates friends on her sons’ latest escapades and caught snakes on her blog “Life With Four Boys...Coffee Please!” 61

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Help for wom

www.mercyministries.org

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

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1.800.799.SAFE or 1.800.787.3224 Anonymous & Confidential Help

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Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

The lessons I learn from

Lauren Written by: Sue Cramer Sue@PraiseAndCoffee.com

She is

Mine... I

’ll never forget the first time I held her.

The Cramer Family December 2011

The two year old daughter I hadn’t met was reaching back to me as I opened my longing arms and begged with my eyes for her acceptance. I pulled her into myself and held her tight as if I’d just rescued her from an angry river.

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

This love can’t be earned, only received and hopefully reciprocated. It’s a picture of that grace that God offers us in Ephesians 2:8-9:

She looked up at me with those deep brown almond-shaped eyes as if to question why I was so enamored. She had no idea that I’d been captivated with her since I saw a tiny picture of her precious little face on a waiting child list nine months before.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God -not by works, so that no one can boast.”

She couldn’t comprehend that I’d redecorated a bedroom for her and filled it with the most beautiful dresses I could find. She didn’t understand that I’d been dreaming about this moment so many nights that I physically ached to have her in my arms.

And with an even greater depth of love, the Father longs to hold us in His arms and say, “I love her, she is mine.”

I looked at the tear-swollen eyes of my husband and said, “I love her, she is mine.” It was how I’d hoped I’d feel, but deep inside I feared that I could never love another child like the three I’d given birth to so many years before. I was wrong. This love was deeper and stronger than my heart thought possible. It’s the awesome, surprising love of adoption. It is a gift, it is grace. 65

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012

Let’s all hang out together on our computers!

April 12, 2012 7pm EST & 7pm PST Marriage, Moms & Mentoring

You don’t have to be the pastor’s wife or a leader in your church...just a woman with a heart to connect, encourage & inspire other women. Read our ebook online: PraiseandCoffee.com

Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012 Pic from Dreamstime