THOUGHTS MATTER

thing similar during my childhood/ adulthood that is causing this similar reaction?”, “do my parents/friends react similarly?”, “have I experienced a similar situation before? How did I respond then?”. These questions can help you build self-awareness on your response type, but also help you reflect on how that situation played out based on your previous experiences.

You can also supplement the practice of acceptance is by redirecting your attention from content to context. For example, I would often experience the emotion of loneliness with the situation with my friend. Instead of having the thought of “I am lonely”, I would change the thought to “I am experiencing the emotion of loneliness”. Phrasing your experiences like this removes the label we create for ourselves and leads to detachment of these emotions. Saying “I am this” creates more intense emotions, whereas “I am experiencing this” creates the opportunity to look at those emotions more objectively, increasing the opportunity to challenge your thinking.

Finally, getting in the consistent habit of practicing gratitude can also help with acceptance. Your brain tends to brush off the good things in your life, but will remember the bad things. Being deliberate and searching for the good parts of situations, or what we are grateful for in this situation, can create and strengthen neural connections in your brain to where you now might be less likely to brush off those good things. For example, with my situation, it is thinking about how grateful I am for everything my friend has taught me and helped me with to be a better person and professional. This person has spent hours upon hours helping me develop, to get to the levels of performance where I am now, and I cannot thank this person enough for putting in that extra time with me. Focusing on what I am grateful for does not change the situation, but may make it more manageable and can lead to long-term benefits of increased life satisfaction, well-being, and overall better health.

Change is not easy, whether that be accepting situations placed before us or changing the way we think about the situation, but it can be done. It may be a difficult process, there may be ebbs and flows along the way, but practicing on a consistent basis and continuing to challenge your thinking is going to pay off in the long run. Be the best version of yourself and learn the art of acceptance.