M O IS TH SU E E RH 20 O 18 OD
DONA JOHAN PLUS+ EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW:
MOTHERHOOD AND SELF-CARE:
How to make time for yourself!
for you and your baby
USD $3.99 GBP £3.49 BND $5.00
EDITION
HOW TO EAT RIGHT
ON THE CHALLENGES OF BALANCING THE JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD AND WORK
BRUNEI
Tackling the stress and anxiety of pregnancy and motherhood
+Content
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Motherhood Issue 2018
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+Life Inspired
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6 Motherhood — A secret and a degree in life! 16 AMANDA ABAS On How She Makes Time for Herself and Her Family 22 Dona Johan On the Challenges of Balancing the Joys of Motherhood and Work 28 HJH AZIAN HJ MOHAMMAD on Motherhood and Self-Care 38 The Strongest Women Alive 40 Mother and Daughter Day out with Suzuki Ignis
+Health 33 It All Starts In The Belly 36 Healthy eating before & during pregnancy — why it matters
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+Publisher Info
Dear readers, E
verybody knows that motherhood can be an extremely challenging and special time in a woman’s life. The nine months of pregnancy that precede the period of motherhood are of course different for every woman, and can be a time of great surprise, suspense, and deep growth.
As May is traditionally celebrated as a month for mothers, we are proud to present our readers with an issue dedicated entirely to mothers and motherhood. In this issue, we wanted to highlight the incredible strength that mothers have, and also wanted to give voice to some of the daily challenges they face both in carrying children and then raising them. Some topics we cover in this issue include work-life balance, self-care, personal relationships, and important strategies for overcoming stress and anxiety. We know that being a mother is hard, and we wanted to show all the women and mothers in our lives how much we value them!
In this issue, we feature a handful of stories and interviews with incredible women, who share their experiences and journeys of pregnancy and motherhood. We spoke directly with Dona Johan, Hjh Mordiah Bte Hj Jackia, Hjh Azian Hj Mohammad, and Amanda Abas. In this issue, we also feature several pieces on nutrition during pregnancy, tips for managing health, stress, and relationships during pregnancy and motherhood. We also paid special attention to the many experiences of pregnancy and motherhood, some of them difficult and unforgettable, and discussed a variety of strategies for living your best life while giving life to your little ones. Don’t forget, you can follow us on Facebook and Instagram at @PlusBrunei for the latest updates. See awesome behind the scenes pictures and sneak peeks of content we’re working on for our upcoming issues! All the best and happy reading, The Plus Team
+Graphic Designer Anna Thien Oleh Melnyk John M. Rey
+Featuring Dona Johan Amanda Abas Hjh Azian Hj Mohammad Anabela Marques Teresa Paciencia Sofia Rodriques Fizah Jamil May Qu Laura Garcia Fadila Mahmood Harriet Springbett Vania Magalhaes Verity Maud
+Photographer Qush Azree
+Delivery Nazlee
+Publisher Nexploit Services +Editor-At-Large Plus Team +Talent Editor Liyana Sidek Jason Rumpun Manisha Alexandra Silva
All rights reserved. Neither this publication nor any part of it may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form of by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the permission of Nexploit Services. Where option is expressed it is that of the author and does not necessarily reflect the editorial views of the publisher or Plus. All information in Plus is checked and verified to the best of the publisher’s ability, however the publisher cannot be held responsible for any mistake or omission enclosed in the publication.
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+Supported by: Ministry of Health (Brunei Darussalam) Ministry of Culture, Youth and Sports (Brunei Darussalam) Health Promotion Centre (Brunei Darussalam) Fitness Zone Royal Brunei Airlines Progresif Cellular Sdn Bhd
+Publisher information Nexploit Services Lot 4169, Kg Serambangun, Tutong TA 2541 Brunei Darussalam
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+For business inquiries and distribution Email it to plusbrunei@gmail.com
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+Life inspired
Name: Verity Maud Age: 44 Home Country: South Africa Mother since: 2013 Quote: “I wish I knew that motherhood is both harder and more amazing than you can ever imagine”
MOTHERHOOD — A SECRET AND A DEGREE IN LIFE! O
nce upon a time, motherhood appeared, bringing with it a secret and a degree in life — from this moment on, your life changed, forever!
other women, of different ages, cultures and nationalities. You will also find practical advice and simple exercises you can easily put into practice.
Motherhood is a secret, for any women it will be a completely unique experience, as much as it will be a day by day constant learning — there is no degree as complete as this one or any school to teach you!
Nevertheless, no matter what our age, culture or nationality, as a mother you always want to succeed; although your experience is matchless, you will find out that there is only one thing within you, onto which you have to become an expert, and that is LOVE.
In this article i will share a few real-life success stories in motherhood — my own experience, together with the experience of
Maybe you are wondering, who are these women? The answer is
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simple; they are women, mothers and professionals, sharing their own experience on motherhood. I had had the pleasure to meet them, during trips all over the world, some are my clients, others my friends, but all of them are brave, full of love and capable of everything for their children, as you will be. I’ve challenged these women to answer a question, in order to share their experience — in the following chart you will find out the sum up of their answer, together with their personal details:
Life inspired+
Name: Vania Magalhaes Age: 39 Home Country: Portugal Mother since: 2016 Quote: “I wish I have known that even when you try your best, you can’t control everything”
Name: Sofia Rodrigues Age: 37 Home Country: Brazil Mother since: 2011 Quote: “I wish I had known that I have more courage than I imagined”
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According to the answers, in a general way mothers have tendency to: ] ]be perfectionist; ] ]think they always can do more; ] ]worry too much; ] ]control everything; ] ]believe that they have superpowers; The love that grows, every day, inside of a mother’s heart cannot be described by words. This love will never stop growing, and alongside, fear will grow too. I wish I had known that! Balance between love and fear is the secret! Feeding love and only using fear as a counterweight seems the best way to guide our motherhood path. As Harriet Springbett, author of a lovely book “Tree Magic”, that I strongly advise you to read, well describes: “Looking Back, the thing I really wish I’d known is that everything will be fine. Having a baby is a huge responsibility, and I was scared of getting things wrong. But in the end, as long as you give your baby the love it needs, you can muddle through the rest. Don’t be perfectionist.”
Alexandra Silva, Article Author
Love is really the essential, every time you feel fear, especially when motherhood presents you with lessthan-pleasant moments, there’s nothing worse than a sick child for example, but even in that time if you just have the capacity to give the right attention to your love — increasing love, everything will be easier! Vania is the more recent mother among the group, and when she gave her answer to the question she wrote ”I wish I had known that even when you try your best, you can’t control everything, that dreams not always come true and that giving birth doesn’t depend only on you. You can desire a beautiful, natural, relaxed birth, but your baby, God, Nature, whoever decides something diverse.”
Name: Fizah Jamil Age: 23 Home Country: Brunei Mother since: 2011 Quote: “I wish i had recognized that moms always known what they’re talking about especially mine, but today i know”
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Vania was particularly brave, to share her early experience with motherhood, soon she found out the other side of motherhood. According to my own experience, I can easily relate to her. It is true, control is out of your limits. But there is one thing you can control, that may help you to
Life inspired+ manage motherhood problems — thoughts! If you control what you think, and keep doing this every day, you will feel better, when an unexpected situation come up.. Anabela, the most experienced woman within these ten, wrote” I wish I knew then, that I didn’t have to be a Perfect Mother, but instead, be more relaxed, playful, patient, kinder, loving, and live in the moment more often! I am that today, but it took me a few years to find that switch mode, and enjoy life in a better way! Today I am a better mother, a better Grand Mother and a better person! This is a good example, how motherhood motivates you to the necessity of self-development — a good way to find balance in life. An unborn child and its mother are connected both physically and emotionally, for sure you already heard the old saying “When mom is happy, everyone is happy”, so the opposite is true as well. So now is the time to fill your mind with thoughts of harmony, health, peace, and goodwill. To find balance, and start feeling like this, you need three things: ] ]Will; ] ]Time; ] ]Practice. The most important of all, you have to have an intense, sincere desire to start (Will), and then it will be easy to find some minutes (Time) every day to create a habit to do it (Practice). The following exercises are all good suggestions, which any women can try, especially during pregnancy. I strongly advise you to embrace it; after some days of practice, you will find balance. Please feel free to contact me alexandracpsilva@gmail.com if you have some questions about it.
Name: Fadila Mahmood Age: 34 Home Country: Dubai Mother since: 2011 Quote: “I wasn’t expecting a rebirth of myself, my soul”
Name: Harriet Springbett Age: 50 Home Country: England Mother since: 2000 Quote: “I really wish I’d known is that everything will be fine”
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+Life inspired
Name: Anabela Marques Age: 61 Home Country: Australia Mother since: 1982 Quote: “I wish I knew then, that I didn’t had to be a Perfect Mother”
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+Life inspired M I N D F U L N ESS E X ER C I SES EXERCISES BENEFITS Increase happiness, Boosts positive feelings, increases confidence and prevent emotional eating, improves sleeping quality and reduces stress, may prevent premature birth, and may promote healthy development.
EXERCISES METHOD Seat in a comfortable position, during 5m — early in the morning or before bed time, and especially every time you feel less well or with your heart tight, try it.
EXERCISES PRACTICE Exercise 1 — Affirmations How to do: Just seat confortable, and close your eyes, and breathe deeply 3 times, after in repetition just say to yourself: “I fell grateful for today — I feel happy, I feel joyful, I feel I have all the power within me — my true love” Exercise 2 — writing How to do: In a note book, write about any feeling you have in the present moment, and then write about the good emotions that you want to experience more from now one. Exercise 3 — Visualization How to do: close your eyes, put your hands in your belly and take 3 deep breaths, and imagine that you are seeing your baby very happy, very healthy inside of you — imagine that your baby is telling you — everything is all right!”
NOTES Each time put a Smile, while you are doing these exercises. Always try to feel good emotions within you in the very moment, if you can’t just breathe and try again. Never give up, even love needs practice!
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Name: May Qu Age: 32 Home Country: China Mother since: 2011 Quote: “I wish I had known that, protecting a child is a natural law of life”
Life inspired+ Name: Teresa Paciencia Age: 51 Home Country: Angola Mother since: 1991 Quote: “I wish I have known that a mother has superpowers”
Name: Laura Garcia Age: 35 Home Country: Colombia Mother since: 2012 Quote: “I would have liked to know that… sometimes everything crumbles around you”
IN MOTHERHOOD REMEMBER: There is no right or wrong, the best way is to keep it as simple as possible; If you feel you are not doing the right thing, just take some minutes for yourself, and focus in your super power — True Love; If you feel you are not a good mother, just look to your children and ask them: “what is a good mother?” You will be surprise with their simple answers. Share your concerns and solutions with other moms — you are not the only one. Do your homework — take some minutes per day to develop yourself emotionally; be aware of your breathing; say good things to yourself; think good and good follows. Love really can make miracles happen. Feel love, Feel grateful and welcome motherhood as such an amazing journey! Thanks to all mothers by the courage to share their experience. ARTICLE BY: Alexandra Silva
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BRUNEI’S DESTINATION FOR STRENGTHENING BODY, MIND AND COMMUNITY. Shine Cycle believes in the profound impact of positive energy, and every aspect of our studio design will brighten your life. Carved out of imagination and fused with the local culture, we created a space where you’ll stand out rather than fit in. From the friendly front desk staff to Brunei’s finest instructors, we are a community joined by a passion to make the world a happier, healthier, brighter place.
+Life inspired
AMANDA ABAS ON HOW SHE MAKES TIME FOR HERSELF AND HER FAMILY
A
t work, Amanda Abas is the General Manager for the Legal Department at the Bank Islam Brunei Darussalam (BIBD). At home, she is super mom. She is the mother of three boys, aged 4, 11 and 13. Between work and juggling parenthood, Amanda enjoys baking, taking brisk walks and nothing makes her happier than spending quality time with family. Whether it is at the beach, at the movies or at the park to exercise, she is at her happiest with her family. Amanda shares with us her struggles of being a working mom, but also why she loves and cherishes it the most.
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Life inspired+
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+Life inspired How has work life balance changed since motherhood? I had my firstborn thirteen years ago. Since then I have had two more boys. You learn very quickly that it is less about you and more and everything else to do with the kids. Weekends are centered around the boys and activities we can do as a family. Whilst there is great emphasis on their studies, I do allow the boys a fair bit of time to indulge in their hobbies so that they strike the right balance between studying and enjoying the other non-academic things in life. What are the struggles you face when juggling work and being a mother? Juggling work and motherhood is not an easy task. Often you feel that you are not doing as good a job at managing both as you should due to your work commitments and lesser time at home. I am sure most working moms can relate to this. My line of work can be quite demanding. There are deadlines and meetings around the clock. During the day, I do not see as much of my boys as I would like to. It does feel that at times the days are too short and there is never enough time in a day to do everything you need to do but I am sure that this is every working mother’s dilemma. It is not easy to manage all three of my children’s expectations especially now that they are growing up so fast but as with most moms, I try to manage them the best I can. The lack of time spent with them during the week is hopefully compensated by spending quality time with them during the weekends. Typically, boys being boys, this would mean excursions to the park, the beaches or playgrounds. Every now and then, my youngest will ask me why unlike other moms, I cannot fetch him from school. I always tell him that because of my rigid working hours, I do not have the luxury of fetching him from school but I do make it a point to send him to school every morning.
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+Life inspired
Keeping tabs on their progress in school, their circle of friends, their whereabouts are all part and parcel of any mother’s “JD”. It is more challenging than an 8 a.m — 5 p.m job if you ask me. As much as possible, I try to be actively involved in their activities. My two older boys and even the youngest one now are mad about
football. My husband and I make it a point to go to all the matches they play in to show them our support and to spur them on because we know that our presence and support means a lot to them.
always works! I also make it a point to pamper myself once or twice weekly to some time at the spa or arrange meet-ups with friends over coffee or dinner.
With everything going on, how do you make time for yourself?
If you could send a message to our readers out there about motherhood, what would it be?
I try to squeeze in my “me time” whenever I can. Retail therapy
Whilst motherhood can be challenging, it can also be very
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Life inspired+ rewarding. Seeing your child’s face light up as you walk through the door after a long day at work never fails to warm your heart. The fatigue from being in meetings or at work the whole day is less felt the moment they put their arms around you. Very often us mothers are perceived as “Superwomen” because of our ability to multi-task and get
everything together seemingly effortlessly and singly. It does not matter whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, all mothers are fully deserving of such title. We dedicate almost all our time to raising our children with the hope that we do a good job of raising them. I may not be the most hands-on mother but I consider myself blessed and would not want it any other way.
FEATURING: Amanda Abas ARTICLE BY: Liyana Sidek PHOTOGRAPHY: Qush
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+Life inspired
DONA JOHAN ON THE CHALLENGES OF BALANCING THE JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD AND WORK
A
t 41 years old, Dona Johan is doing everything you can ever imagine! She is a loving wife and mother of two boys, 14 year old Azreal and 4 year old Aki Ryo. She absolutely adores her job as a Senior Manager of Group Marketing at DST. She loves feeling like everyone’s older sister instead of their superior. She makes everyone feel loved when she feeds them healthy and tasty meals. She even bought over a restaurant to pursue her love in cooking! This strong mom also loves her sports. She cycles, runs, jungle treks and does indoor sports. Dona never goes a day without doing even 5 minutes of sports. Just when you thought that’s all she does, there’s more! Dona is also the proud owner of a homey boutique that she opened 2 years ago. Her passion in designing clothes has driven her to explore her creativity and explore passion. This strong mom is going stronger than ever and she isn’t slowing down any time soon. How has work life balance changed since motherhood? I constantly remind myself to not get confused between having a career and having a life. I enjoy cycling because cycling reminds me of what life really is. It reminds me to keep balance and no matter what happens, I have no choice but to keep going. I have always been on the go, pre and post motherhood so my work life balance has not changed that much. I still get to do the things I love. In fact, even more now than when I was single! The only thing that has change is the timing. Pre-motherhood, I would go straight to workout right after work. Nowadays, I come home right after work to catch up with my kids before
bedtime at 7pm. I would prepare a light meal for dinner then I would workout, and sometimes even take a short drive to pay my small businesses a visit. I must say, I am more active now than I was pre-motherhood because I have learnt to be a lot wiser. I am thankful for where I am now and I will always keep fighting for where I want to be tomorrow. Yes, I am not stopping any time soon! What are the struggles you face when juggling work and being a mother? The main struggle is TIME and it is a REAL struggle! Luckily, I have trained myself to not see obstacles. Instead, I see opportunities. I always insist on school runs unless there are unforeseen circumstances. Sending the kids usually goes smoothly but fetching them gets challenging at times. Meetings and appointments are typical culprits and I always have to make the most difficult decision (in my 41 years of living!); to excuse myself from meetings to go on a school run, or just sulk in the meeting and get the driver to do the school run for me. Most of the time, however, I choose to excuse myself from meetings and reassure myself that it’s okay to choose family over work. Even CEOs are not expected to give away their family or personal life for a company after all! The struggle is real. You can do anything but not everything so my advice is to follow your instincts and you will be alright. Handling work, motherhood and “me-time” is not impossible for me because I chose to embrace what I’d like to call the “glorious mess” that I am. You have so much on your plate. From work and being a mother, how do you make time for yourself and exercise? I am always excited about the fact that I can design my own life. I want
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Life inspired+
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+Life inspired
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+Life inspired to be successful in my career but at the same time I want to be the best mother and wife to my husband and boys. I also want to do things that I am passionate about like sports, cooking and fashion. I have chosen to embrace all of these so I should also try my best to manage it. During the weekdays, I get updates and catch up with my boys during school runs and when I come home from work. Lunchtime is always catch up session with my handsome husband. I also get quality time with him when we are with the kids after work and when we workout together when the kids are asleep. The husband is the luckiest of them all because he gets the biggest piece of the pie! Weekends are reserved for family time. It is when we go out, the kinds get to enjoy my presence, the husband gets to enjoy my cooking and I get to enjoy cooking in a more relaxed environment. My husband and I would go cycling or jungle trekking as early as 6am and we would finish just in time before the kids realize our absence. We mostly spend our weekend at home and Sunday is typically a lazy day. For me, life is pretty much beautiful. We hear you own a boutique too! How did that start? Two years ago, I opened up a cute homey boutique with the vision to produce a clothing brand which is proudly Bruneian. I want to reassure all women out there that they are equally beautiful when they embrace fashion. I adore beautiful clothes and the beautiful women adorning them. I am passionate about embedding confidence among women. I want everyone to see that fashion is about happiness, it is fun with no rules attached. I am proudly an unqualified fashion designer! I let my passion drive me. If you could send a message to our readers out there about motherhood, what would it be? Take excellent care of yourself spiritually and physically because taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your kids. Being successful as a working mother means having a balance of success stories across many areas of your life. Explore different things and when you find things you love, just do it. Do it big, do it right and do it in style! Mothers are the most beautiful souls, embrace your beauty!
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Life inspired+
FEATURING: Dona Johan ARTICLE BY: Liyana Sidek STYLED BY: DDees Butik PHOTOGRAPHY: Qush
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+Life inspired
HJH AZIAN HJ MOHAMMAD ON MOTHERHOOD AND SELF-CARE
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Life inspired+
M
others are known to be excellent multitaskers. We think Azian could be the very definition of that. Azian is currently the Senior Manager of Counter Services at one of the leading Telecommunications company in Brunei Darussalam, studying her MBA (Masters in Business Administration) in Universiti Brunei Darussalam and she is a mother of 8 beautiful children! Aside from being a loving mom to her kids, she still finds time for her long-time hobby, reading! We told you there’s nothing this supermom can’t do! Azian shares with us her experiences in 18 years of motherhood and her simple joys in life.
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+Life inspired
Family Time
How has work life balance changed since motherhood? I am a very active kind of person! I like to do sports and I love adventure! Honestly, when I was a new mother, I found it difficult to balance everything. As a working mother, I know I couldn’t have it all. I had to prioritize and sacrifice a lot of the activities I enjoyed doing to focus on motherhood. But as time went by, advices from friends and family and my own experiences helped me a lot and work life balance became much easier to manage. I have no regrets because motherhood is a true gift from God and all mothers can agree that we are truly blessed. What are the struggles you face when juggling work, doing masters and being a mother? I personally wouldn’t call it a struggle but I also wouldn’t lie and say
that juggling everything is easy! It depends on how you balance things. I have adapted to a certain routine now so everything is going good for me. Working and studying part time during the day gives me the flexibility and gives me the chance to be creative in planning my day. Time management is of course crucial to find balance. There is also the sacrifices that have to be made like sacrificing family time to do assignments and to study for my exams. Having an understanding husband and children always helps me push myself to do my very best. With everything goes on, how do you make time for yourself? As I said, time management is very important. I make sure to manage my time properly between school, work and the kids’ activities. I prioritize certain activities first. For example, I have to get my assignments
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done as soon as possible so I wouldn’t have to worry about cramming everything towards the end of the semester. I also get more time to spend time with my kids and myself. I also find time to go to the salon or the spa to pamper myself. The easiest way is of course to sit down, put my feet up and read a novel! Have your priorities or struggles changed over time since your firstborn? Or has it stayed the same? As time goes by, things get easier because it becomes a routine for my family and I. Seeing me study also encourages my children to do their very best. I always tell them, “If mummy can do it, so can all of you”. They get to see me go to university and it has made them determined to study at the same ‘school’ as me. The things I do now has motivated them to study harder and always do their best.
Life inspired+
Study
If you could send a message to our readers out there about motherhood, what would it be?
At Work
The women I respect today are those who are able to juggle motherhood, employment and education at the same time. I know many young mothers who have to work to help pay for food and other expenses. My advice to new mothers is, do not miss the chance to enjoy and experience every moment in life with your children because they grow up way too fast. If you feel like you are struggling, talk to experienced mothers and do not worry because every mother has her own experience in taking care of her kids. You don’t have to be ‘supermom’ and it is okay to fail and make mistakes sometimes. The important thing is, make sure you learn from those mistakes so you can be a better mother in the future.
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+Life inspired
With Newborn Muhammad Azeem Hazwan bin Johan
FEATURING: Hjh Azian Hj Mohammad ARTICLE BY: Liyana Sidek STYLED BY: DDees Butik PHOTOGRAPHER: Qush
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Life inspired+
IT ALL STARTS IN THE BELLY
I
n the moment a baby starts its journey in the mother’s womb, it starts eating, not actively eating on its own, but through the umbilical cord, consequently all its nourishment goes directly into its belly. The path to the powerful emotional connections with food starts there and then. The consequences of the mother’s food choices and behaviours during pregnancy are dramatic. They affect not only her health, but also the growth and development of another human being — not just for today, but for a lifetime. Then, more than ever, good eating habits are essential!
PREGNANCY Because of the huge changes in their body, mind and environment, some women perceive pregnancy as an excuse to indulge in unhealthy food without restraint or caution, using this food to make them feel
better, eating to satisfy emotional urges, rather than to satisfy physical hunger.
4. When you are extremely happy or excited, do you feel hungry or do you eat to celebrate?
As several researchers already found, an in-utero diet high in fat and sugar leads to the child growing up obese and furthermore may have impact in the risk of developing mental-health disorders, impaired social behaviours, lower cognitive abilities and increased response to stress.
5. When you feel sad, do you feel hungry or eat to comfort you?
In order to help you to do your best, below you will find a survey and several suggestions: Emotional food survey — answer yes or no to the following questions 1. Do you eat when you are hungry and stop when you satiated? 2. Do you often eat more, once satiated? 3. Do you feel you lose control around food?
6. Every time you have a daily stress, do you immediately feel hungry? 7. When you feel hungry you can’t postpone this hunger because it is very intense and with specific cravings, and then feel guilty afterwards? 8. Every time you feel hungry, you have the will to eat unhealthy comfort food such as fast food, ice cream, pizza, burger, etc.? 9. About your family behaviour around food, in your opinion do they often use food to soothe their feelings? If you answered (no) to the first question and (yes) too at least three of the other questions, then it’s possible that you are eating more then you need for yourself and your baby. However, it is never too late to improve to a healthy condition, as the Chinese old saying well refer “Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still”. The following suggestions will help you to find your balance. But, you need to be aware of what causes your unbalance as food serves many purposes in life, it doesn’t only fuel the body! Therefore, pay attention to the connection between food and your feelings. Change habits, and your balance will appear, so please try these incredibly powerful recommendations: ] ] Write about what you feel emotionally when you feel hungry or you are craving for a specific food; ] ] Eat only when you are seated; ] ] Eat when you are hungry, stop when you feel satiated;
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+Life inspired ] ]Eat away from electronic devices; ] ]Don’t eat the next meal until you’ve digested the previous one; ] ]Don’t eat the next bite until you’ve chewed and swallowed the previous one; ] ]Eat as slowly as possible, chewing really well. ] ]Take 3 deep breathes (at least) before you start eating, and feel thankful for your meal. ] ]Cook your own snacks and meals, or choose healthy restaurant when you go out; in Brunei you can find healthy options at Energy Kitchen restaurant. ] ]Find alternative activities to overcome cravings; you can read, write or do physical activities outdoors and indoors — you can find support and specific advice for your condition with the specialized staff of Fitness Zone Gym, in Brunei. The connection between food and emotions, starts early in life and it isn’t easy to unlearn but it is possible. There are moments in life when everyone eats emotionally, the problem appears when you lose the awareness and keep eating only to solve emotions.
BABIES, TODDLERS AND CHILDREN What you did in the past regarding food habits you cannot change, but the past is gone and you must move on, believing that you can change your food habits and educate your children — your seeds, in a healthy way, providing them with good examples to follow. In order to help you in this process and ensure you prevent your child from eating emotionally in the future, I leave you some tips: 1. Breastfeed your baby, if you can, be as serene as possible and eat wholesome food, to initiate your child into good food habits; 2. Provide nutritious snacks to your infant — Toddlers have small stomachs, small meals are preferable to big ones; 3. Don’t use dessert as a reward or punishment for a child’s
behaviour — they may grow up using food as a link with comfort and discomfort situations; 4. Use your creativity — create nice songs or stories for babies and toddlers, using vegetables as characters in song lyrics and as stories heroes; later you can involve kids in cooking activities as well. 5. Have good eating habits — Never use negative language related to food, chew well, eat slowly and peacefully, be a good example, children are imitators. 6. Teach your children to be thankful and grateful for food — Gratitude heals and prevents anything. Because we seek perfection, it is sometimes hard to realize that up to now, we made bad choices, yet it is never too late to change habits and improve your health and of those around you. Easy and Healthy Snacks that may help with your cravings — adequate for pregnancy, babies and toddlers
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(Please adapt the recipes according to babies’ age and the food they have tried before)
COCONUT, CARROT AND DATES BALLS Ingredients: -- 1 cup desiccated coconut -- 13 medjool dates, seeds removed -- 1 cup of crushed cashews, almonds or walnuts -- ½ a cup boiled carrots (+/2 carrots — you can boiled the carrots in coconut water and put less dates if you wish) -- Coconut flakes to decorate Instructions: Boil the carrots with water or coconut water during 20mn, then thoroughly drain the carrots and let them cool off. Blend all ingredients together. Use your hands to press and shape the mixture into bite-sized balls. Roll in coconut flakes if desired.
Life inspired+ KALE CHIPS Ingredients: -- 1 Bunch Kale -- 1 Tablespoon olive oil or coconut oil -- 1 pinch of sea salt (for babies don’t use salt) Instructions: Preheat an oven to 180ºc. Line a non-insulated cookie sheet with parchment paper. With a knife or kitchen shears carefully remove the leaves from the thick stems and tear into bite-size pieces. Wash, and thoroughly dry kale with salad spinner, drizzle kale with oil and sprinkle with salt. Bake until the edges are brown but not burnt, 10 to 15mn.
PUMPKIN JELLY Ingredients: -- 450g Pumpkin -- 7 Dates (if the pumpkin is not that sweet maybe you’ll need more) -- 1 tbsp agar agar powder Instructions: Clean and cut pumpkin into wedges, and boil together with water — should cover the pumpkin, dates and agar agar, during 15mn. Once done, blend all together, and pour pumpkin mixture into desired mold and chill for at least 2 hours before serving.
OTHER SNACK IDEAS: Keep it simple and for example place an almond in a date and eat, or enjoy drinking fresh coconut water. Important Tips: Dates are highly recommended during the last weeks of pregnancy to help labour, but remember that in excess even healthy food may harm you. Adjust the recipe to your own taste and be open to taste different flavours; your taste buds can be taught to enjoy different flavours — if you have the desire and patience to keep trying. Wholesome food is so much more delicious! Be thankful a miracle happens inside your womb, make sure you nourish your baby with the best food, thoughts and emotions, it is a lifetime investment.
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Motherhood Issue 2018
+Health
HEALTHY EATING BEFORE & DURING PREGNANCY — WHY IT MATTERS
PLUS+ GETS IN TOUCH WITH MADAM HAJAH ROSEYATI DATO PADUKA HAJI YAAKUB, A SENIOR DIETITION FROM THE HEALTH PROMOTION CENTRE, MINISTRY OF HEALTH (MOH), BRUNEI DARUSSALAM, TO DISCUSS ISSUES PERTAINING TO NUTRITION A WOMAN NEEDS THROUGHOUT HER PREGNANCY LIFE CYCLE.
W
hile healthy eating is important at all times, we give special attention to nutrition before and during pregnancy in this issue. Pregnancy is often regarded as one of the most sensitive stages that a woman goes through, as she has to not only see her own requirements, but also provide for and supply sufficient nutrients and calories to the foetus growing inside of her. Long story short: a healthy balanced diet throughout a pregnant woman’s lifecycle, starting from before conception, is an important
determinant for healthy foetal growth and development. A mother’s nutritional state is an important determinant of fetal growth and development. Amongst the many advantages of quality nutrition includes: ]] Healthy placenta
Ensure that you: ]] Have a healthy BMI (body mass index); ]] Practice healthy eating habits (low fat, low sugar, low salt, adequate protein, plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables);
]] Building up breast tissues to prepare for breastfeeding
]] Take Folic Acid supplements prior to conception;
So how do you know that you’re maintaining adequate pre-pregnancy nutrition?
]] Have taken all standard laboratory tests prior to conception to check on your vital stats
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Health+ WHY IS FOLIC ACID IMPORTANT? Protects against Neural Tube Defects (NTD). A healthy neural tube develops into the spine and NTD’s occur when the brain and skull and/or the spinal cord and its protective spinal column do not develop properly in the first 4 weeks after conception. Recommendations:
According to Madam Roseyati from MOH, “if all women of child-bearing age were to eat a varied and adequate diet, this would help to correct any nutritional imbalances and would help ensure that the fetus has the best nutritional environment to develop.”
]] Plenty of starchy carbohydrates, fruits and vegetables ]] Moderate amounts of dairy food and protein-containing food (e.g. lean meat, fish, eggs, and pulses) ]] Limited amounts of high-fat and high-sugar food
WHY IS IRON IMPORTANT?
DIETARY ADVICE FOR A WOMAN PLANNING FOR PREGNANCY
]] Eat foods naturally high in folate
Aside from regular dietary advice such as follow a healthy, varied, and balanced diet and maintain adequate intake of energy and nutrients, a woman preparing to become pregnant should also give emphasis to the following:
]] (e.g green vegetables, orange)
]] Eat plenty of iron-and folaterich foods
]] Take foods fortified with folic acid e.g. non-sugarcoated breakfast cereals; some types of bread
]] Take folic acid supplements 400ug/day ]] Avoid alcohol
The increased demand for iron supply during pregnancy puts many women at a greater risk of anemia (iron deficiency) than women in any other stage of the life cycle. Healthy amounts of Iron help to supply nutrients to the growing fetus and placenta. Not enough iron may result in the mother having Iron Deficiency Anaemia — however this phenomenon rarely affects the unborn baby unless the baby is born premature and has not had enough time to accumulate healthy iron levels.
]] Women who realise they are pregnant but not yet on folic acid should start taking it immediately, plus continue until the 12th week
]] Limit caffeine intakes
Recommendations:
]] Avoid taking vitamin A supplements
]] Eat plenty iron-rich foods — lean red meat, pulses, darkgreen vegetables, fortified, non-sugar-coated breakfast cereals ]] Take vitamin C-rich foods/ drinks with meals to enhance iron absorption ]] Take animal meat with dark-green leafy vegetables during a meal ]] Poor iron status should be addressed prior to conception ]] Iron supplements for mums with inadequate Iron stores at the start of pregnancy ]] Receive dietary advice to increase Iron intake
]] All women of childbearing age who may become pregnant should take 400 ug folic acid per day until 12th week of pregnancy
It is recommended that women planning to become pregnant should attempt to reach healthy body weight (BMI 20–3 5) before conception. Being overweight or even underweight prior to conception is often associated with high risks of obstetric complications. A low BMI can pose a higher risk for the following: ]] Miscarriages ]] Low birth weight ]] Deliveries of SGA (small for gestational age) infants ]] Morbidity and mortality in newborn babies ]] Degenerative disorders later in infant’s later life (foetal origins hypothesis) On the other hand, a BMI that classifies as overweight may increase the risk of abnormal labour which may increase likelihood for an emergency caesarean operation.
]] Avoid liver and liver products ]] Include fish + oil-rich fish in your diet
DIETARY ADVICE FOR A WOMAN DURING PREGNANCY Contrary to popular belief, pregnant women are not required to “eat for two”. A pregnant woman’s balance meal should include:
Having said all this, every woman has her own experience pre- and during pregnancy. Consult a doctor if you are feeling conditions such as nausea, constipation, gestational diabetes, and hypersensitive disorders and get expert opinions on how to have a safe pregnancy and a healthy delivery of your baby. ARTICLE BY: Ministry of Health
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Motherhood Issue 2018
+Life inspired
THE STRONGEST WOMEN ALIVE MAY, THE MONTH WE CELEBRATE OUR MOTHERS The month of May has traditionally been the month to celebrate mothers, as Mothers day falls on the 2nd Sunday of May. Magazines, TV, the Internet, and other forms of media are guilty of emphasizing and capitalizing on this for the whole month,
and very so often, images of the happy mother surrounded by her kids and her husband giving thanks to the hard work she does in and outside the home is blasted all over in the form of print ads, the radio, social media and everywhere in between. While all that is well and good, we all know that these reflections in the media isn’t always applicable. Even
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in conservative Brunei, we all know one or more women who deserve to celebrate mother’s day, but do not exactly reflect the perfect images portrayed in the media. Nobody is perfect but yet the media, including ourselves, always neglect to highlight the strongest women out there but does not fit into the traditional happy pictures blasted all over our faces, the single mothers.
Life inspired+ SINGLE MOTHERS WORK MORE THAN TWICE AS HARD, BUT SOCIETY DOESN’T GIVE THEM HALF THE CREDIT OR RESPECT THEY DESERVE Why does society still paint these women in a negative light however? Single mothers deserve to celebrate not only Mothers day but also Fathers day. The media plays a key role in changing the stigma of these women who have to play the role of the breadwinner, disciplinarian all while still showing tenderness and empathy all at once. I am sure that these women didn’t choose this path on their own, but sometimes life isn’t fair and we have to make the best out of the situation we are dealt with, for the sake of the children. In some cases, the women got to where they are because their husbands were not filial, or perhaps were abusive but our society paints them negatively, and even label them with derogative terms such as “janda”. In actual fact, these women, have to suffer not only the perceptions of society, but also raise their children on their own, and also acknowledge that in our conservative mindset, they may not be readily accepted by other man or his family in the future. When considering the average life expectancy of a woman is well into her 70s that is a very long period of time to possibly face alone.
HELP IS OUT THERE, IF YOU LOOK FOR IT While researching for this article in a Brunei context, I realized that help isn’t as easily available as I thought it should be. Naturally my instinct led me to Mr Google first, as it is probably the first port of call for any woman who suddenly found themselves in such a situation. However, my searches only led me to the Women’s Business Council, and its vice president, Hjh Mordiah Bte Hj Jackia. I got in touch with Hjh Mordiah, who was quite familiar with the work of various government support groups. Hjh Mordiah is in the midst of setting up an organization for single mothers, whether they are
widowed or divorced, where each member can share their life experience as well as business ideas, which can further help develop and setup the members to be financially independent for themselves. Hjh Mordiah also brought up to the efforts of the government under JAPEM, Bantuan Kebajikan Bulanan (BKB) or monthly social welfare. As with any welfare assistance, there are criterias to be met before qualifying for it. One of the key criterias looked at, is the presence of school-going children under the care of the mother. There are allowances given per child, and this has been an ongoing welfare given by the government for a number of years. Similarly, if the women are not working, or have a very nominal salary, they may also qualify for welfare, but will also need to meet the minimum requirements as determined by the government. As for the Women’s Business Council themselves, they support all types of women who are in business, and sometimes there will be women who are single mothers, but are in business, and the WBC can help them connect to other businesses within their network, which can possibly help promote their business to a newer level. One of the more interesting discoveries I made for this article, is the Instagram account @singlemamaspeaks.bn, who describe themselves as a space to inspire, and to give strength and support to single mothers in Brunei. Speaking to Sarina, who runs the account, she describes herself as a single mother to 3 beautiful kids, and knows the struggles of having to go through a divorce, and the depressing periods after where help was not widely available. There were moments where she cried herself to sleep and felt alone, but have come out on the other side better, stronger and independent. After an open mic session held over the first weekend of May discussing the status of being a single mother, she received plenty of support from women in similar positions, or are currently facing the situation she described previously, whether it be a divorce, or having problems in their marriage. Sarina is not alone in singlemamaspeaks. bn, as she has 5 other single mothers
who are her bedrock of support that also contribute and have big plans in making the account a fully fledged support group. The future plans from these 6 strong women include being the centre for single mothers support, especially in the areas of emotional and social support. Financial support will come in the form of helping the women to be more independent and financial planning, using their income to gain more income elsewhere. The aforementioned open mic session was organized by another instagram account @win.brunei. Established in 2017, they had collaborated with @singlemamaspeaks.bn to create a video, and shared a report from JAPEM, about cases of domestic violence, family disputes, and abandonment of familial responsibilities, and accompanied it with a reenactment video of the struggles of a single mother. In addition to that, the account also celebrates other women, women in power positions, successful women, and conducts regular open mic talks, which is usually shared via their instagram account. More information is available as and when they post it.
NO MAN OR WOMAN IS STRONGER THAN A SINGLE MOTHER At the end of it all, a single mother is the strongest woman anyone could ever be. The strength required to work and ensure the best for her children, while facing the harsh realities of the world we live in is no easy task. Fortunately, our society has been quick to acknowledge and accept them, and with the initiatives of support groups both through the government and through private sectors help break down the stigma constantly faced by them. We should all be celebrating the single mother like we do with any mother in a happy home, and if anything, we should be doing more to appreciate the work and effort they go through, because only they know what it’s like to go through it all. ARTICLE BY: Jason Rumpun
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Motherhood Issue 2018
+Life inspired
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Life inspired+
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER DAY OUT WITH SUZUKI IGNIS PLUS 41
Motherhood Issue 2018
+Life inspired
HIGHER GROUND CLEARANCE AND SEAT HEIGHT An impressive ground clearance of 180mm and generous approach and departure angles means you can take it on any adventure on the road. It’s perfect for city traffic, too, as you’ll sit up higher for improved vision and awareness while the bold front headlights give the Ignis a distinctive look.
M
eet Evonne, an independent 31 year old mother with two active daughters. Evonne always tries to take time out of her busy schedule to enjoy the day with her daughters. Mother daughter day outs have become a routine to them — whether it’s shopping, meal dates or learning craft together!
shop entrance. Think of all the things they’d have to lug around if they parked too far! A good parking is difficult to find but with their car’s compactness and good visibility they’re able to squeeze in smaller spaces
space in the car. They can load up all their new stuff in the car and still have space for Evonne’s shoe collection that she stores in the car for mother daughter dates. Speaking of shoes, their next destination calls for
For this mother daughter team, day outs mean serious business and nothing at all should get in their way of a good day of fun! Today, Evonne is out with her 3 year old daughter Heidi who loves listening and dancing to music! Their adventure begins as soon as they hop into their Suzuki Ignis to begin their day of fun. As soon as Heidi is strapped in safely, Evonne switches on the smart navigation to find their first destination while Heidi starts her mini dance fest to the songs connected to the car. All that happens while Evonne focuses on the road, only to glance briefly on the navigation from time to time thanks to the easy visibility! First destination for the mother daughter duo is, of course, the shops! A serious shopping spree calls for a good parking spot close to the
MULTI TOUCH AUDIO a shoes change from heels to comsafely and most importantly, closer SYSTEM walking shoes for a walk to the start of their shopping spree! The 7inch Multi Touch Audio System isfortable positioned independently from in the park!System is integrated with the instrument panel. The Multi-Touch Audio After they’ve shopped till they reversestoring cameratheir and good phonefinds accessibility allowing you to make dropped, is A walk under the hot calls, sun is not access your music, get directions all by tapping on the screen. no problem with a spacious storage complete without one or two cold
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Life inspired+
and thirst quenching drinks. They definitely had no problems in getting two drinks for each of them
with the bottle holders at the front and rear consoles, as well as front and rear doors. Forget about
just two drinks! Evonne and Heidi could go out and get some more! Nothing feels better than cooling down sipping your drinks, having the air conditioner blast on your face with good company. This looks like a good day so far for Evonne and Heidi! A day is not complete without grabbing a good meal, so the last destination is to the restaurant! With all these destinations in just a day, Evonne is always so thankful for the excellent fuel efficiency with low emission that contributes to a lower maintenance cost in the long run. Perfect for these long day outs with her favourite girls!
CARGO SPACE Ignis may be compact but it also comes with a generous storage capacity that allows cargo to be configured in a variety of different ways. In fact, by folding the rear seats down, a total luggage space volume of over 500L is achievable.
After a long day, the lightweight K12m engine along with CVT gearbox makes a peaceful drive for Evonne and a quiet ride for Heidi while she takes a much needed nap safely buckled in the passenger’s seat. It also doesn’t hurt that the car has a stylish exterior design, giving it a distinct personality and appeal. That wraps up the day for this mother and daughter team! A funfilled day with each other and the Suzuki Ignis. FEATURING: Evonne & Heidi ARTICLE BY: Liyana Sidek CAR: Suzuki Ignis PHOTOGRAPHER: Qush
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Motherhood Issue 2018
FITNESS ZONE
MARKS ITS 15TH YEAR IN BRUNEI’S FITNESS INDUSTRY
I
t is very known to the public of Brunei when we hear of Fitness Zone. Good and challenging times have shaped its fitness community and it is all for the better, well lived and balanced of Bruneians and its citizens. Fitness Zone was founded by Serial Entrepreneur and International Celebrity, Wu Chun and has been established since 2003, humbly started at The Mall and to date has changed more than 17,000 lives for the better. Month of March this year, the health club celebrated it’s 15th year milestone anniversary. With Wu Chun’s vision to expand horizons, he said to himself, Bruneians deserve a better, bigger place to improve the quality of their lives, is when Kiulap branch, the main branch was built in 2007.” “It has ever been one of my visions to have a place for Bruneians to go be
healthy and fit, have fun while achieving their best selves. Chronic health problems are very vicious and it is decreasing the quality of one’s life. For the past fifteen years; FZ strives to promote quality healthy lifestyle to Bruneians and it prides us that we have contributed a great impact of Fitness Revolution in Brunei. Through out the years, Fitness Zone makes dreams really do come true.”—Wu Chun The club endeavors to always strive to raise the bar for Bruneians and it includes to be comparable to health clubs in foreign countries such as Australia and US, which is 7 out of 10 of the population count is in terms of health club membership, engaged themselves in fitness, improving the quality of life.
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