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Heaven Help the Church Too Hot for the Pulpit Nine ways to Support your Pastor Wounded by the Church A Blueprint for Discipleship
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november – december, 2014
Heaven Help the Church Too Hot for the Pulpit Nine ways to Support your Pastor Wounded by the Church
ON THE COVER:
Heaven help the Church What is the Church’s role in this day and age? This issue of SEVEN re-examines the importance of gathering as a body of believers, knowing the imperfect and failures of the Church do not outweigh our need for community.
FEATURES: 12
A Blueprint for Discipleship
18
Too Hot for the Pulpit | Mark Hughes How are pastors supposed to speak boldly and Biblically on the hot topics of our day without being called intolerant? We cannot afford to abandon our role as the ‘social conscience’ of our culture, because if we won’t address these issues, nobody else will. Wounded by the Church | Rod Wilson We’ve all felt the familiar sting and seen the church abuse our friends and family. It hurts to see the Church reality fall short of our ideals, though if we are honest, we’ve also contributed to the pain of others in the context of the body of Christ. Yet, reconciliation is still possible.
22 Nine ways Every Man Needs to Support his Pastor | Phil Wagler Our pastors have a lot to answer to God for, so if you want to bless your pastor, make their work a joy. Entrust them with the task of shepherding you, then stand shoulder to shoulder with them. It’s a daunting task, and they need your trust. 26 Blueprint offers a Framework for Discipleship | Steven Sukkau So many men’s ministries start with passion but lack a framework for long lasting impact. Blueprint offers leaders a full tool kit to create the full package ministry built on good old fashion mentorship and long-term discipleship.
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PK Podium Church isn’t about you
one – A promise keeper is committed to honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and obedience to God’s Word in the power of the Spirit. two – A promise keeper is committed to pursuing Christ-centred friendships with a few other men, connecting regularly, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises. three – A promise keeper is committed to practicing biblical integrity: spiritually, morally, ethically and sexually. four – A promise keeper is committed to strengthening families and marriages through love, honour, protection, and biblical values. five – A promise keeper is committed to supporting the mission of his church by honouring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources.
seven – A promise keeper is committed to influencing the world by his fervent love for God while loving his neighbour, seeking justice for the poor and oppressed, and making disciples of Jesus Christ.
32 The Single Life Designed for a team 34 Sports Scene Recipe for Success
12
The name reflects the seven promises that form the basis of the Promise Keepers organization, which works with churches to minister to men across Canada.
six – A promise keeper is committed to reaching beyond racial, social, economic, generational, and denominational barriers to demonstrate that power of biblical unity.
COLUMNS: 5
SEVEN is a Christian magazine for Canadian men that exists to help men lead more fulfilling lives and leave enduring legacies.
DEPARTMENTS: 6
Music Review: Sing some new songs…
8 Pulse: Bits. Blips. Beats. Blurbs.
36
36 Power Play: Toys. Tools. Technology.
18 Publisher: Brian Koldyk Editorial Director: Jeff Stearns Managing Editor: Steven Sukkau Copyeditor: Kelly Rempel ADVERTISING Rick Verkerk rick@promisekeepers.ca 1.888.901.9700
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EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD MARC BRULE: WellSpring Community Church STEVEN SUKKAU: ChristianWeek KIRK GILES: Promise Keepers Canada JEFF STEARNS: Promise Keepers Canada MATT BREIMER: Promise Keepers Canada
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The PK Canada logo features a maple leaf, indicating our dedication to serve the men of Canada. An arrow breaks into the maple leaf symbolizing the impact we believe God wants to see Promise Keepers and men making in our nation. A special thank-you to all the pastors who continually encourage us to communicate God’s truth with grace and love.
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Do I have to go to Church? Ekklesia is not about you By Kirk Giles
Let’s be honest. There are many Sundays when men don’t want to go to church. Have you ever had a Sunday when the congregation is singing the latest worship song and you wonder to yourself, “Why am I here? I can’t sing in the key of this song. I don’t like the words or the tune. I am bored out of my mind. The politics here are crazy.” Have you ever wondered whether church is really a place for you as a man? If you are like most men, including me, you have had those moments. So, why bother? When we wrestle with whether or not we belong in church, we are starting in the wrong place - with the focus on ourselves. When Jesus described what He would start, He used a word that was common in the culture of the day “Ekklesia”, referring to a gathering of citizens who meet together to discuss the issues of their community. Jesus uses this word and says He would build His own Ekklesia. The gathering of followers of Jesus was His idea from the beginning. Church is not about you – it is first and foremost about Him and the gathering of His people for His glory. It is about a community of people who will work together to build His Kingdom. If you consider yourself a follower of Jesus, then church is for you. What does a man bring to the table by his participation in church?
1. Presence You have no idea the impact your simple presence has in the lives of others. When you are fully present as part of a church community, you communicate a message to your family that Jesus is more important than anything or anyone else. Young people are walking away from their faith in part because they do not see Jesus as being real to their dad. Your presence speaks volumes. 2. Strength There are moments in the community of believers when what is really needed is strength. It may be physical strength for a task, or spiritual strength for difficult decisions. Every day, men have the opportunity to reveal God’s strength in the life of a community of believers. 3. Modeling Humility Being part of a church calls you to submit to the leadership of others, and to participate in tasks that you would otherwise never do. When men serve in the Nursery, or usher, or set up chairs, you are showing the attitude of Jesus that you consider others to be more important than yourself. The local church should be important to every man because the local church is important to Jesus. It is sad that our busy lives are quickly crowding out our connection to the local church. As you read through this edition of Seven, consider your own attitudes towards church and ask if they reveal the same attitude that Jesus has. Kirk Giles is the president of Promise Keepers Canada. However, his most important roles as a man are husband to Shannon and father to Carter, Joshua, Sydney and Samuel.
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music review
Sing some new songs… Music Reviews by Aaron Epp
BURN BRIGHT Jon Neufeld Independent For 15 years, brothers Jon and Tim Neufeld pursued a music career with Starfield, the Christian rock/worship group they co-founded in Manitoba in the ‘90s. The group travelled the world, writing, recording and leading worship. Now, each Neufeld brother has launched a new project. In September, Tim released The Joy with his new band, Tim and the Glory Boys. Meanwhile, Jon released his first solo EP, Burn Bright, at the beginning of August. Burn Bright does not stray far from the rock/worship sound Starfield established over the course of seven albums, and when the songwriting and production are as strong as they are here, that’s a good thing. It’s a solid collection of five songs sure to encourage anyone looking to add new praise music to their collection. Standout tracks include “We’ve Got a Love,” the instantly catchy opening track that reminds listeners that “no height, no depth, can ever separate us” from God’s love; and the title track, which praises God’s radiant adoration and promises, “Tonight, we’re gonna sing ‘til our hearts burn bright.” “My prayer is that these songs lift up hearts in sorrow,” Neufeld said on his website, “and bring light to tired souls buried in the busyness of life.”
Aaron Epp is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer and aspiring music critic.
ANOMALY Lecrae Reach When American hip-hop artist Lecrae dropped his latest album in September, it wasn’t just the most popular album released that week by a Christian -- it was the most popular album released that week, period. With Anomaly, his seventh studio album, the Houston-born rapper became the first-ever artist to land an album at the top of both the Billboard 200 and the gospel charts simultaneously. Comprised of 15 songs, Anomaly is Lecrae’s strongest album yet. The music and production are top notch, as are Lecrae’s lyrics and vocal delivery. Highlights include “Messengers,” the hopeful final track which features a hook sung by pop duo For King & Country; and “Good, Bad, Ugly,” in which Lecrae rhymes candidly about being molested as a child, as well as being in his early 20s and driving his girlfriend to an abortion clinic to end the pregnancy neither of them were prepared for. It’s his unflinching desire for authenticity that makes Lecrae stand out. “Many times, that’s how people see Christian art, or Christians making art: They see the art as having an agenda,” Lecrae recently told The Atlantic. “Christians have really used and almost in some senses prostituted art in order to give answers instead of telling great stories and raising great questions.” The great stories and thoughtful questions raised on Anomaly are worth delving into.
PILGRIMAGE Steve Bell Signpost Music Seventeen solo albums, multiple awards and 1,500 concerts performed to more than a half-million people in some 15 countries -- if ever there was a career that deserved honouring with a multi-disc retrospective package, it’s that of acclaimed Winnipeg singer-songwriter Steve Bell. Released in September to mark the 25th anniversary of Bell’s first solo album, Pilgrimage chronicles Bell’s career over the course of four discs. “Pilgrimage” is an album of new songs written and recorded over the past year; “Unadorned” is a collection of some of Bell’s most beloved songs, re-recorded with just an acoustic guitar and single vocal; “Good Company” features covers of Bell’s songs performed by his friends and colleagues; and “Landscapes” is a collection of Bell’s previously released work, remixed without vocals. The package also includes a 150-page book featuring lyrics, photos and a biographical essay by theologian John Stackhouse. When it comes to these sorts of retrospectives, there’s a fine line between thoughtfully celebrating a body of work and navel-gazing. Thankfully, Pilgrimage never veers into the latter territory. It’s an embarrassment of riches proving that while Bell has accomplished much over the past quarter-century, he is still creating vital new work. Pilgrimage is well worth buying, whether you have been a long-time fan of Bell’s work or are just finding out about him now.
r eview
A guide to moving from boyhood to manhood By Cindy Janssens
KILLING LIONS: A GUIDE THROUGH THE TRIALS YOUNG MEN FACE By Eldredge, John and Sam. (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2014) John Eldredge is a best-selling author, a counselor, and teacher. He is also president of Ransomed Heart, a ministry devoted to helping people discover the heart of God and recover their own hearts in God’s love. John, and his wife Stasi, live in Colorado Springs and have three sons: Sam, Blaine and Luke. Sam Eldredge graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in English. He is currently living with his wife Susie in Minneapolis and developing an online magazine for young men. Born out of weekly phone calls between father and son, this compelling dialogue between John and Sam is not only paternal advice to a young man with questions burdening the minds of his peers today, but it is a manifesto for a rising generation seeking purpose, direction and authenticity. Sam initiates each conversation with stories from his college years, graduation, search for meaningful work, struggles with money, pursuit of love, and chasing of dreams. What follows are John’s timeless, authentic answers arising from his own journey and speaking into the deep places of a man’s soul. When Sam graduated from college he was suddenly faced with a host of questions and very few answers as he struggled to find direction in a world that assumes that the day you graduate from college you are a fully developed adult stepping into a wonderful, fully developed life. But one day Sam read an article about a Maasai tradition where a boy’s rite of passage to becoming a man occurs when he kills a lion, and this stirred up a longing in Sam to slay the lions of fear that threatened to overcome him and prevent him from becoming the man God created him to be. This is an outstanding guidebook of answers that young men are seeking, and young women are going to want to listen in on as they are assured that: “You’re going to be okay. You’re going to find your way. You are not alone.” John speaks truth and hope into today’s young adults who wrestle with questions and issues that are reminiscent of those that arose during the sixties era that many of their parents were born into: the search for meaning and purpose as they challenge the status quo. The unique, conversational style between John and Sam invites the reader into the living room of their raw, earthy dialogue and gives practical answers to the questions and challenges of the spiritual battle that is waging for the heart, soul and mind of young men today.
Everyone loves a great story. But, as John Eldredge points out, living in a great story is different than watching one unfold. This book is like a bird’s eye, roadmap view that will help today’s young man get his bearings as he explores questions that emerge through his travels along the uncharted territory of moving from boyhood to manhood, slaying whatever lions of fear and uncertainty that arise, and emerging to become sons of the Living One. Whether you are the son who needs to receive fathering, or the father who seeks to know what needs to be spoken, this book is a road map of direction and hope that God the Father offers to all. Cindy Janssens is assistant to the president of Promise Keepers Canada.
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pu l s e
Bits + Blips. Beats + Blurbs. By Steven Sukkau, PULSE Editor
BLIP
FINDING THE HUMOUR IN THE BIBLE A Christian comic is mining the quirky side of the Bible for comedy gold. Pastor by day, comic by night, Dan Taylor of Edmonton, Alberta is making waves in the Canadian comedy scene now that he’s found the “funny side” of the Bible according to a story in the National Post. Taylor explains his stand-up started as a hobby, and preaching and standing in front of people telling humorous stories and anecdotes actually has a lot in common with being a pastor. “…it’s the same skills in terms of actually talking to people,” Taylor says in the article. “You still have to make connections with other humans, read the room, see where people are at.” He says his church gives him plenty of room to pursue his hobby, and it has led to the honour of being named Edmonton’s top comic by the Sirius XM satellite radio network. It’s also nabbed him the opportunity to open for comic Russell Peters in Edmonton, after which Taylor travels to Toronto to compete for the national prize. And that Deuteronomy bit? Deuteronomy 25 states that if two men are involved in a conflict and the wife of one tries to help her husband by seizing the other man by the testicles, show her no mercy: cut off her hand. “Which is a very odd law, but in the ancient world, that was going on so often that they have to make a law about it,” Taylor says. (National Post)
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pulse
STUDY FINDS ONE IN FOUR PASTORS STRUGGLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH
BLURB
Mental illness is an issue more churches need to address
There are plenty of taboo topics rarely addressed from the pulpit, but mental health may be one pastors themselves need to talk about more often than they realize. According to a study by LifeWay Research and commissioned by Focus on the Family, one in four pastors have struggled with mental illness at one time or another. Yet, they also found most pastors, 66 per cent, speak on mental health once a year, rarely, or never. However, in light of the suicide of children of prominent pastors in the U.S. including Joel Hunter’s son Isaac and Rick Warren’s son Matthew, the subject of mental health among the clergy is receiving more attention. The report suggests people with mental illness must deal with shame and social stigmas, and so the need for more regular, honest conversations is needed. More than the courage to face up to the issue, churches just simply aren’t equipped to approach mental illness. The report found only a quarter of churches (27 per cent) have a plan to assist families affected by mental illness and even fewer (14 per cent) have a councillor trained in recognizing mental illness. Pastors themselves know first hand the struggle, as one in four (23 per cent) acknowledged in the study they’ve experienced mental illness, and 12 per cent said they’ve received a diagnosis. However, pastors struggling with depression or anxiety often don’t share that information with the congregation. Chuck Hannaford, a clinical psychologist and president of HeartLife Professional Soul-Care in Germantown, Tennessee told LifeWay pastors don’t necessarily need to share every detail of their diagnosis, but simply acknowledging their struggle could go a long way. “You know it’s a shame that we can’t be more open about it,” he told researchers. “But what I’m talking about is just an openness from the pulpit that people struggle with these issues and it’s not an easy answer.” “Churches talk openly about cancer, diabetes, heart attacks and other health conditions—they should do the same for mental illness, in order to reduce the sense of stigma,” Stetzer said. (Lifeway Research/Christianity Today)
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BLIP
pu l s e
PHOTOGRAPHY MINISTRY GIVES MEN A CHANCE TO SERVE Foothills Alliance gets men involved by honing in on their passion for great photos. A Calgary church is taking a more creative bent in men’s ministry to reach guys through photography. “I realized it was a connecting point for guys,” pastor Brad Kehler explains, after congregation member Dave Anderson broached the idea for a men’s photography club ministry as a way to spend time together and develop relationships. Christians and non-Christians gather every month to explore the city and countryside taking photos. The club began in January 2014, and attracts everyone from professionals to amateurs. They take photos on everything from DSLRs to iPhones. Guest speakers lead workshops, and the participants are given photo assignments that connect with a Scripture or theme. This past spring, the men were tasked with taking photos around the theme of the cross and Easter. Kehler says he was blown away when men kept coming back with powerful images that creatively expressed the meaning of Easter in a new light. “Photography is photography,” Kehler says. “But they are weaving their faith into their work.” And while some men wouldn’t come out for a banquet or a hiking event, they are showing up for photography. “It’s been very well received,” Kehler says, with more than 20 guys showing up. He says it continues to grow and gain momentum as they see more new faces. Best of all, it continues to be a non-threatening environment for men to gather around a common interest and go deeper in relationships. The photography club is also taking a larger role in church by documenting a recent baptism service, with club members catching the action from every angle. “It’s getting them involved in church ministry in a practical way,” Kehler says. “Giving them a chance to serve in a unique way that was not there before.” And it all starts with a little creativity. “We’re constantly looking for ways to get guys connected,” Kehler says. “The sky’s the limit.”
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f ea t u r es
Too Hot for the Pulpit Can pastors speak boldly and biblically on controversial topics
https://www.flickr.com/photos/stevenritzer/8558259610
without being called intolerant?
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fea t u res
By Mark Hughes
When late night comedian Jimmy Kimmel managed to book embattled Toronto mayor Rob Ford on his show, his producer promised, “No topic will be off limits.” The statement was symbolic of the fact that pop culture has thrown off restraint. There is no topic that producers, songwriters, comedians and others will not explore… sexuality, masturbation, rape, obesity, racism, suicide, religion, you name it. The Church on the other hand has quietly slid into the shadows on the dicier topics, ignoring some subjects altogether. We are slowly abandoning our role of being the ‘social conscience’ of our culture. We cannot afford to let this continue, because if we won’t address these issues, nobody else will. Throughout the centuries the pulpit has served as the bastion of morality. Fearless preachers like Martin Luther, John Wesley and Charles Spurgeon raised a standard of righteousness to their generations, sometimes at a great personal cost. History has forgotten their critics, but their names are remembered as those who ushered in spiritual and moral revival. Conversely, there have been other dark times of moral bankruptcy when the pulpit became eerily quiet. Nazi Germany comes to mind. Pastors either bought into Hitler’s lies of biological superiority or, for fear of reprisal, remained silent. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was one of the very few that dared speak against the atrocities of the Third Reich. At first Bonhoeffer was merely forbidden to speak publically or publish anything regarding Hitler and his regime. When he refused to refrain he was arrested and imprisoned. While in prison he still would not curtail his message and was sentenced to death for leading his fellow prisoners in a church service. On April 8,1945, just 23 days before the Nazis surrendered, Bonhoeffer was executed.
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f ea t u r es
Too Hot for the Pulpit
I have become gravely concerned that the pulpit has once again become too quiet in the face of our own moral decay. Fewer pastors are willing to wade in on the hot button issues of our day like abortion, divorce and especially homosexuality. There are several reasons. Firstly, our pews are no longer occupied by people who share common values. Our audiences hold highly diverse views politically, ethically and even morally. On any given Sunday we may have a huge percentage of divorcees sitting in the pew. One word misspoken on the subject might send them packing. Our younger generation in particular no longer regards the issue of same-sex attraction as a problem. They have been raised in a culture that celebrates diverse sexual orientations and many have come to accept it or even embrace it. Secondly, some of these subjects have now become off limits. Speaking on the subject of homosexuality can actually be considered hate speech if it is not approached in a very careful manner. Many pastors would rather avoid the subject altogether than risk stepping into the minefield that it has become. Finally, there are certain things that pastors are now explicitly forbidden to address. Few people realize that the Canada Revenue Agency has quietly rewritten the rules of engagement for charities. Clergymen are no longer permitted to publicly oppose the positions of political candidates or parties. It is part of a CRA campaign to separate Church and state (http://www. cra-arc.gc.ca/chrts-gvng/chrts/plcy/cps/ cps-022-eng.html#N10230) but I think it is a thinly veiled attempt to silence the Church. Most contemporary issues are both political and religious. By denying us the opportunity to educate the public and our congregations on the moral positions of politicians, we have been denied our fundamental rights of freedom of speech and of religion. In May of this year Justin Trudeau announced that his party would not allow any pro-life candidates to run in the next federal election. The obvious question seven – issue thirty-nine november – december, 2014 page 14
fea t u res
was, by disallowing pro-life candidates isn’t it unconstitutional in that it would restrict one’s rights of freedom of thought, freedom of expression, freedom of religion and the democratic right to hold political office? If memory serves, it was Justin Trudeau’s father Pierre, when he was Prime Minister of Canada, who entrenched those very rights in his Charter of Rights and Freedoms in 1982. Hard to miss the irony! Shortly after the announcement, Cardinal Thomas Collins, Toronto’s Roman Catholic archbishop, wrote an open letter to Trudeau urging him to reverse his position. He argued that, “Political authority is not limitless: it does not extend to matters of conscience and religious faith. It does not govern all aspects of life.” He further challenged the Liberal leader, “Political leaders in our day should not exclude such people of integrity, no matter how challenging they find their views… I urge you to reconsider your position.” Trudeau didn’t blink. What caught my attention most with this story was that the Cardinal took a great risk in calling Trudeau out. Fortunately the CRA was smarter than to take on the Catholic Church as their first test case of their new regulations, but don’t think for a moment that their passivity will remain indefinitely. Irrespective of the risks, we cannot exit from the dialogue and then be surprised when we lose yet another moral battle. We can still speak to the hot button issues of our culture, but the day of hellfire and condemnation is long over. We need a more gracious approach. Recently I ran into an old school friend that had been living in Winnipeg’s homosexual community for years. He knew I was a pastor and made this statement, “I guess your church would never welcome someone like me?” I answered, “Of course we would, your homosexual sin is no worse than my heterosexual sin. The day you are not welcome, is the day no one is welcome.” He was a bit confused but what I did was remove the hierarchy of sin that is so unhelpful, and instead identified with him seven – issue thirty-nine november – december, 2014 page 15
f ea t u r es
Too Hot for the Pulpit
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fea t u res
as a fellow broken human being. The moment we become ‘more holy than thou’ is the moment we have already lost the debate. With the advent of social media and digital dialogue, the debates still continue. However, it often takes place in a vitriolic way that just further polarizes people. We don’t want end up as a chorus of anonymous idiots that argue endlessly online, convincing no one. As clergy we still have some vestiges of influence. We need to speak boldly and publicly. I believe part of my calling is to educate my audience on issues that have no effective moral counterpoint in our culture. I have been voicing my opposition to the current political agenda to legalize marijuana. I cannot see how another legalized recreational drug is a good thing for our already conflicted young people. I have been getting more flak from Christians than non-Christians. It seems there are more pot-smoking friends of Jesus than one might think. So how do we speak to the hot topics of our day? Carefully, thoughtfully and respectfully! One of the amazing things about Jesus was that he never soft-soaped the gospel or held back on moral issues. He addressed adultery, sexual immorality, divorce, and even made a reference to the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah. Yet, for some reason, sinners flocked to hear Him. Why? Because He always spoke in love! Although Jesus never compromised God’s standard of truth, He accepted broken and sinful people unconditionally and in fact non-judgmentally. It should not, however, escape our notice that regardless of His successful approach…they did still crucify him. This might be yet another reason why we remain silent.
Mark Hughes is the founding pastor of Church of the Rock in Winnipeg, Manitoba. He, and his wife Kathy, and their three children call the city home. seven – issue thirty-nine november – december, 2014 page 17
f ea t u r es
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fea t u res
Wounded by the Church
F our common ways people are hurt by the Church and how to find reconciliation
By Rod Wilson
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f ea t u r es
Wounded by the church
Wounded by the church? Pain inflicted by the bride of Christ? Suffering coming from the people of God? Brothers and sisters abusing their own spiritual siblings? Church is supposed to be holy, loving, accepting, affirming, and life giving. Out there in the world, with all those people who do not love Jesus and are not enlivened by the Holy Spirit, we expect pain, suffering, and abuse but surely not in the church. Many of us have experienced this dichotomy between church ideals and reality, we have observed church abuse in the lives of our friends and family, and if we are honest, we have also contributed to the pain of others in the context of the body of Christ. Like most people, however, I would prefer to dwell on my experience of church wounding and tell you a myriad of stories so you can feel my pain, rather than focus on how to help those I have observed on the receiving end of church suffering, and completely avoid any culpability regarding my contribution to the pain of others. Why does church wounding occur? There are as many answers to this question as there are churches but let me suggest four—pain, power, personality, and paradox. Pain In our late 20s and into our 30s, my wife and I found church to be incredibly painful because we were battling infertility and it seemed like everyone in our church was pregnant. Mother’s Days and Father’s Days were celebrated with great enthusiasm with no acknowledgement that some of us, were not parents but desperately wanted to be so. We now attend a church where these two days are practiced in an inclusive way and all who impact children are valued. Many churches add to the pain members of the congregation are experiencing and in so doing drive them away. Pastors can easily preach, lead, and care in a way that either addresses, ignores, or intensifies the pain that is present in the lives of others. Power Many of us have been in churches where the abuse of power is exerted through age, gender, socio-economic status, longevity in the church, or a position of authority. In the presence of this kind of power we feel like our voice is not heard, our convictions are not acknowledged and we experience a progressive marginalization. Sometimes the only way to cope with this inequity and inequality, after failed attempts to address the power imbalance personally, is to go to a church where there is shared submission and where Christ is seen as the true Lord of the church. Personality Church is filled with a colourful array of personalities, a testimony to God’s creativity but often the source of significant conflict. When the Building Committee is made up of four different personalities that value people, ideas, consistency, and job completion, conflict is inevitable. One enjoys meeting, seven – issue thirty-nine november – december, 2014 page 20
another wants deeper discussion, the third is glad there is a committee, and the fourth wonders when the job will be complete. Rather than each person pushing toward ‘my personality style is the best,’ it makes most sense to value difference rather than make it the source of conflict. Paradox In my experience the greatest wound exerted by the church of Jesus Christ is the contradiction between public proclamation and relational experience. While pastors preach grace, forgiveness, healing, and the gentleness of Jesus, so many experience the opposite in community. Paradoxes of this nature are debilitating for so many people, particularly in a culture where ‘what I experience’ is a higher value than ‘what I am told.’ All of us need to recognize that we invite others into an irresolvable paradox if our statements about truth and the gospel are not lived out incarnationally in the body. How do we respond to church wounding? We need to affirm the big picture, engage in systemic thinking, practice forgiveness, and embrace forbearance. Paradox is not just confined to the experience of the contemporary church. When Paul wrote to the Corinthian church, a church mired in moral decay, power struggles, and abuse of the Lord’s Supper, he addressed them as saints. Saints? How do we put this lofty word together with the reality on the ground? But that is the big picture. Bride of Christ, people of God, saints, holy, are among the words that affirm the reality of the church as God sees it and that is with the presence of woundedness not with its absence. As we struggle with our local church scuffles, we need to affirm the big picture and see the church as it really is, at least in God’s eyes. When people talk about their church as ‘them/others/ leadership’ etc. as if they have no role to play in the system. Like removed journalists, they report on the pain, wounding, and suffering being exerted by the church but they fail to take into account their role in the process. Blaming is easy because it allows for dichotomous right/wrong reasoning and it is usually the other who is wrong. Systemic thinking, which is more consistent with the way bodies of any sort function, focuses more on what I am doing, what you are doing, and how the interaction of the two of us plays a role in the whole system. Social science thinking has influenced the contemporary culture in such a way that we now prefer ‘broken’ to ‘sin’ and ‘wounded’ to ‘evil.’ While there is a lot of brokenness and woundedness in the church, sin and evil are also present and that requires the infusion of forgiveness. Forgiveness is often cheapened by a push to have the victim forgive shortly after the sin has been committed and no severe mercy is experienced. Ideally the person who has been sinned against will be able to communicate the hurt they have experienced to the perpetrator and that person will be able to give an in-depth confession that is rooted in the damage they have caused so forgiveness will be meaningful. Frequently this is needed between individual
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leaders and members, but there are times when the church leadership needs to engage in confession as a group. Many of us know forgiveness is key to our life together in the body but in the process we may have forgotten that the New Testament also posits forbearance. Sin is addressed by forgiveness while difference is addressed by forbearance. Building Committee members do not need to engage in a process of confession and forgiveness. Because I am into people and you want to get the task completed, we need to avoid competing or converting and engage in forbearance where we ‘bear with’ our differences, learn to prize them, and in the process recognize that differences do not need to be threatening. While pain, power, personality, and paradox have their own inherent challenges, I wonder if many of us, both in leadership and in followership, would experience less wounding if the body of Christ valued uniqueness and forbearance was practiced by all of us. Over 20 years ago, when struggling with a number of dynamics around life on the ground and the wonder of the body of Christ,
I wrote the poem, ‘We.’ Superficially it may seem that this poem has nothing to do with wounding by the church, but a careful read will invite you to a ‘back to the future’ perspective on Christ’s bride. One night I dreamed a dream: I was walking through dense woods. At times I appeared to be walking alone; it seemed that no one was around. No one cared or expressed interest. But when I looked more closely, they were there. Some hid behind the trees, thinking they too were alone. Others were further ahead, leading the way. Still others were behind, following my trail. A small group was right beside me with outstretched arms and welcoming smiles, at times visible, at others, hidden from view. And behind them all, and in them all, and through them allthose that hid, those that led, those that followed, and those close at hand– God. And then I saw a city. It was majestic and exquisite, like a new bride, radiant and perfect. A city teeming with people beyond number. Those that used to hide, those that led, those that followed, and those that expressed care– they were all there. And I was among them. And then I heard a loud voice, “The home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them as their God; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them.” I wept. But then He wiped every tear from my eye. Amen. (Wilson, R. Counselling and Community. Baker Books. 1995, 225) Rod Wilson is president of Regent College in Vancouver, where he also serves as professor of Counselling and Psychology. He is the author of How Do I Help a Hurting Friend: Practical Help for Leaders and Laypeople (BakerBooks, 2006).
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Nine Ways Men Need to Support their Pastor How to bless your spiritual leaders and yourself in the process By Phil Wagler
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Nine Ways Men Need to Support their Pastor
After two decades of pastoral ministry I feel I may have some helpful perspective for those non-pastor-types who are seeking to lend their shepherd some support. As I step from pastoral ministry into a new role of serving missionaries, I feel I may be at the point in my life where I am best equipped to write these words. First, the disclaimer: the five churches I have served have blessed my family immensely. So, the following nine points are not in any way an indication of any failure on the part of the five churches I have been blessed to serve. Pastors know, or should know, that both congregation and leader are growing, learning, and being transformed by the Holy Spirit. Some churches support shepherds amazingly well, others not so much, but we’re all sheep with a Great Shepherd. So, from where I now stand I would want the men of my church to know this about what I need:
see the first point above before sending anything. Monday, however, is different. We’re ready and need to hear what the Spirit is up to and, yes, that includes your concerns. 6. D on’t assume we have lots of friends and are immune to your kind of “fun” We’re human and while we deal with many people, we can actually be quite lonely because many people see us as a service provider rather than a fellow servant. We need friends and, while we can’t be everyone’s best buddy, we are open to more than you imagine.
1. Pray I can’t say this strongly enough. One of the most important ways to make sure we survive the frontlines is to pray consistently for our spiritual, familial, physical, stewardship, and moral health. Pray for our growth as a disciple. Don’t assume this stuff, pray it for us.
7. Do what Jesus says Sounds obvious, but if you want to support us find your cross, and follow Jesus with us. We’re tired of preaching and leading without discipleship. There’s nothing we want more than for you to respond to His call, so don’t say you like us as your pastor without responding to the One we point to. We are tired of spiritual games and trying to help your church be the next-great-flash-in-the-pan, we just want you to know and obey Jesus. So, get honest, we’ve heard it all. Then get busy with Jesus, the risen Lord, who calls you on the radical adventure of being his disciple.
2. Don’t turn us into a celebrity Pride is an insidious killer. Please, treat me like a brother and servant of the Lord. Treating us like a celebrity inadvertently dehumanizes us and creates a distance between us that should not exist in God’s Kingdom. And, you make us believe unbiblical press clippings and this actually undermines the unique call of Christian leadership.
8. Do commit to the bride Dig in, serve, disciple, give, be present, and love the Church. Don’t threaten to leave for that “other” church that’s finally got it all figured out. Don’t just slip away into the world of busyness, but make the Church—the bride of Christ—your pride and joy. If you love the Church with her beauty, warts, and conflicts you demonstrate you love us too.
3. Be careful how you talk about the last pastor If you bash the last leader, guess what we start to believe? Being told we’re the next great hope can be a veiled threat because we’re pretty sure that’s what you told the last pastor too.
9. Do yourself a favour: trust us Hebrews 13:17 says, “Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.” We have a lot to answer to God for so for the love you have for us, make our work a joy. Entrust us with the task before us and then stand shoulder to shoulder with us. Sure, call our bluff if we walk in pride, but if you know our character then do yourself a favour and come along with us. We know many of you are incredibly gifted leaders and in many ways more skilled than we are, but for some reason we have been given the task of shepherding the flock of God. That’s pretty daunting and we simply need you to trust us sometimes. It may just be for your own good.
4. Don’t dismiss us when we’re young Many biblical leaders were young. If God has called us to serve and we’re a little green don’t look down on us (1 Timothy 4:12), after all, we’re feeling pretty inadequate for this task to begin with. Please don’t be quick to “lay on hands” (1 Timothy 5:22), but once the church has discerned we’re fit, become our champion in the same way you’re pretty thrilled about that number one draft pick. 5. Don’t send a note of “concern” on Sunday night, but do send us a note on Monday Sunday nights tend to suck, to be honest. Weary from the Sunday outpouring, we need to recover. Your evening “concern” about the church messes with us and keeps us awake. We’re already under attack because of the truth proclaimed, so please
Phil Wagler has pastored churches in Ontario, Alberta, and British Columbia where he currently lives. He is now Training and Team Health Team Leader for MB Mission.
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Blueprint Offers a Framework for Discipleship Cutting through ministry fads to find the foundation of discipleship
By Steven Sukkau
Veteran men’s ministry leader Kirk Giles is hoping a new resource will change the way churches approach ministering to the men in their congregations. One year ago, Giles and the staff at Promise Keepers Canada recognized a pattern: a church will often rely on a great volunteer with a heart for men’s ministry, but the group has little direction. Giles sees these ministries like a 1,000 piece puzzle with no picture. “That’s what we’ve been doing,” Giles says. He began to consider what it would look like if these leaders were given a full toolkit of resources and an overview of how the resources connect to create a fully-packaged ministry. The answer was to create Blueprint. It’s not a program, but a framework that gives a leader the things he needs, and “the freedom to make it your own ministry,” says Giles.
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Blueprint Offers a Framework
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Just as individual houses are furnished to meet the needs of the owners, Blueprint gives leaders a basic framework for the discipleship of men to create a ministry that is effective for their congregation. “What often happens in men’s ministry is it goes in a cycle,” Giles explains. A volunteer comes into a ministry passionate about a certain aspect, for example, hosting a men’s breakfast every week. “But that’s the entire ministry,” Giles says. After the volunteer moves on, the men’s breakfast stops, and another volunteer with a different passion comes in and takes over, focusing on their preferred resource, whether an event or an accountability group or some other aspect. Those working on developing Blueprint hope the resource help leaders take a step back, and to go beyond personal ministry preferences. “Jesus didn’t call us to create a club, but to make disciples… it really is as simple as that,” Giles says. “To be able to see men where they are at and help them, to give them what they need.” This means engaging with all men, not just those interested in one specific aspect or event. To do that, Promise Keepers Canada has brought together a number of resources from their own work and beyond, including nine conversations around topics including “What was God’s dream for men, before sin came?”, “Where do we find our identity?”, and “What was I created for?” The entire Blueprint package is founded on Jesus’ example of discipleship. “Jesus took 12 disciples into his life,” Giles explains. “How did He interact with them?” The Church exists because of Jesus’ investment into those men, Giles says, and it all goes back to His example of the way He lived and ministered. Ultimately men were created to be sons of God, conformed to the image of Jesus. “Repetition is what it takes to shape a disciple,” Giles says. “Jesus, who is much more perfect than us, took three years to invest in these men. From day one, He was very clear,
‘I’m calling you to go make fishers of men, you are called to a higher purpose,’ and He began preparing them for the day He would be gone.” Blueprint isn’t looking to be the next fad in ministry, the magic bullet or secret principle that will make men’s ministry effortless. Instead Giles says it’s about being comfortable with repetition. Jesus is “shaping us to become more like Him,” Giles says. But what does that mean for men, today? “It means depositing your life into other people,” Giles says. “So they will do the same.” Discipleship is not a sprint, but a marathon, Giles explains. That concept is a hard thing for the world to accept because people are constantly looking for that easy fix and instant results. “Matters of the heart take time,” Giles says. “It’s messy, it’s people… it’s ministry.” For pastors and men’s ministry leaders or those simply interested in the discipleship of men through the local church, learn more about the Blueprint leadership training by visiting promisekeepers.ca/blueprint. Blueprint is: • A framework for discipleship of men • Focused on the local church • Principles, not programs • Resources to customize for your church • Not a single event but an ongoing discipleship of men • Men trained to disciple other men • Building men who will intentionally live the Great Commandment and the Great Commission
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single life
Designed for a Team Building intentional community is integral to growing our faith
By Paul H. Boge
Taking time to connect with people can have a profound impact on us. Whether it’s a deep conversation with someone, watching the game with the guys, or serving together with others, being in community helps us grow in our faith. So what is community? Community from a Christian perspective involves meeting with other believers in a variety of ways with the ultimate purpose of furthering God’s Kingdom. Think of the 12 disciples. Paul and Silas. Paul and Barnabas. The early Church. These biblical examples of community illustrate the need to meet regularly to be encouraged by Christ in our faith. As singles we need to be intentional about community because community is not likely to happen on its own. Without a spouse and, depending on the nature of the singleness, possibly without children as well, there may not be people within arm’s reach with whom to build community. With the busyness of life and the challenges of finding the right group, the temptation can be to leave community out. But the writer of Hebrews encourages us: “Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead encourage each other, especially as you see the day drawing near,” (Hebrews 10:25). In Acts 2:42 we read about the importance of building community around a body of believers to whom we are accountable:
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“And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.” In addition to building community around a home church, it also helps to build community around siblings, parents, nieces, nephews and specific interests like men’s groups, Bible Study groups, and outreach groups in social, worship and outreach settings. The point of community is to avoid being a Lone Ranger Christian. As much of a challenge as it may be to find a group, the benefits for everyone involved far outweigh the time commitments. We all need people to speak into our lives. In Proverbs 27:7 it says: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Where would we be without friends? Countless times I have had friends provide wisdom and encouragement. They see things I don’t see. They have perspectives I don’t have. We all need teammates. I was watching a hockey practice and it reminded me how a player can practice by themselves as much as they want, but they won’t reach game level skills unless they have regular time with the team. Hockey players need their teammates, and their teammates need them. In the same way, we need community to develop in our walk with Christ. The greatest aspect of community is that it lets us share and receive the love of Jesus Christ. When a friend has good news we can share the love of Christ by rejoicing with him, the way Jesus celebrated at the wedding of Cana. When
a friend is going through a challenging circumstance we can be there to bear his burdens. What if God is calling you to be that listening ear for someone who is struggling with an illness, or for the person who is having a tough time picking up the pieces after life didn’t go the way they expected? On the other hand, what if God wants to show you His love through another person, someone who will take an interest in your gifts and abilities and provide insight into your life? God wants to use community to speak to us. Have you ever been in church and felt like the sermon was custom-designed just for you? Have you ever heard a song and thought for sure that was exactly what you needed in that moment? Or had a friend give you a timely word? That’s God. That’s God working through community. In community we give. We receive. We serve. In community we become who we were designed to be.
Paul H. Boge is the author of Father to the Fatherless: The Charles Mulli Story. He’s an engineer who works in project management. He’s single and lives in Winnipeg. paulb@boge-boge.com
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Recipe for Success Hall of Fame quarterback Roger Staubach builds his life on faith, loyalty and commitment
By Scott Taylor
Loyalty is an important character trait. Being loyal to your family, your friends, your team, it all goes without saying. But being committed still trumps loyalty. Sure, people argue, sometimes leave. Teams trade you away. That’s life. And that’s why, commitment is much more important than mere loyalty. It’s also best way to describe Football Hall of Fame quarterback, Roger Staubach. Staubach is 72 now, but you’d hardly know it, unless, of course, you were keeping track. He’s still the executive chairman of an investment management firm, Jones Lang LaSalle, and is a minority owner of a NASCAR Sprint Cup team. Known far and wide as one of the greatest football players in the history of the NFL, he is less known for his various business successes. He even funds his multi-million dollar charitable foundation out of his own pocket. But more than anything else, Roger Staubach has been committed. It is this commitment to family, friends, work, the immediate task at hand and Jesus Christ that has made him so successful. Staubach came out of a small Catholic high school in Cincinnati, Ohio, to become one of the greatest players in the game’s history. For Staubach, it was always about “team.” In fact, he only had one losing season in his lifetime. He started playing at Cincinnati’s Purcell High School, spent a year at the New Mexico Military Institute, and then played for the Naval Academy.
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He went on to spend 11 years with the NFL’s Dallas Cowboys—after a tour in Vietnam—and his only losing season came in his injury-demolished senior year at Navy. His winning percentage with the Cowboys, a team he took to the Super Bowl four times, was a remarkable .746. He was the quarterback on the All-Decade team of the 1970s. He won two Super Bowl championships and was the MVP in 1971-72 (the Cowboys beat Miami 24-3). He played in six Pro Bowls, back when the Pro Bowl kind of mattered. He was so elusive in the pocket he was nicknamed “Roger the Dodger.” He won so many games with fourth-quarter comebacks that the Dallas press called him “Captain Comeback.” But that’s simply how he made his name. His deep, committed faith is how he made his life. Roger and his wife, Marianne, have been married for almost as long as the Super Bowl has been played—49 years. “We’ve stayed together by enjoying each other in a love that is both physical and spiritual and that takes in respect and loyalty,” says Roger. “Your faith can help make things work out. But it’s more than that. You have to enjoy each other. You have to be able to communicate and understand. Marriage isn’t a piece of cake—it takes work. But at the same time, you can’t ever lose love.” Roger and Marianne have a son, four daughters, 15 grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. According to Roger, the heart of successful childrearing is simple:
“Trying to get them to understand that in life there is permanence through their faith. How we need to build up their faith in life is a big ingredient.” “They’re going to have challenges,” he said during an interview. “Yet on the significant issues they’re going to make better decisions because they’ve seen us make difficult decisions while keeping our priorities in line—living our faith as well as trying to convey things to them.” Staubach says that one of his favorite Scripture passages is 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9. “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” “Learning the Christian faith formed the answers for me,” he writes in his book, Roger Staubach: Time Enough to Win. “It’s not like having a crutch, because the concept is sound. It’s a proven plan, not something made up. God put it together in His infinite wisdom by sending His Son here. I believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God who died for our sins and came back from the dead on Sunday to give us our salvation. That’s what it’s all about.” Faithful, committed, loyal. For all of us, not just professional athletes, it’s a perfect recipe for success.
Scott Taylor is a Winnipeg-based sportswriter and broadcaster.
sports scene
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pow er p l ay
Great games. Great toys. Great gadgets. Reviews by Sandy McMurray
BULLETPROOF SUIT
garrisonbespoke.com When does James Bond wear a bulletproof vest? Whenever he wears his bulletproof jacket and trousers, of course! Toronto’s Garrison Bespoke tailors took that idea and ran with it, developing a bulletproof suit made of carbon nanotubes. The fabric may look and feel
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like cotton thread but it really is designed to stop bullets. The protective fabric has three layers: the first layer prevents penetration, the second disperses kinetic energy, and the third reduces body trauma. Who needs a bulletproof suit? Garrison says the suit is selling to executives to travel frequently to unfamiliar and unsafe
parts of the world. Oil, mining, and bank executives seem to be particularly interested. Better safe than sorry. The bulletproof suit sells for about $20,000. Find out more at garrisonbespoke.com
GOPRO FETCH DOG HARNESS
gopro.com GoPro portable cameras are world famous for capturing high definition video from unusual points of view. YouTube is full of amazing video footage shot from GoPro cameras strapped to surfers and skiers, cliff divers and base jumpers, weather balloons, motorcycles, and more. The Fetch dog harness for GoPro cameras provides a new point of view requested by pet owners. What does the world look like when you’re chasing a stick or jumping to catch a frisbee? Now we can find out. Mud, snow, water and woods are no problem for Fetch—the water-friendly mount holds up to the elements and can be machine or hand-washed to keep it clean. The camera tether ensures that the GoPro stays attached, no matter what the dog is doing. Fetch adjusts to fit small, medium and large breed dogs from 15 to 120 lbs (7 to 54 kg). To learn more about the Fetch dog harness and see the mount in action, check out GoPro.com.
THE JIMMY
ifixit.com When you need to get inside a cell phone or pry open a TV remote control, your trusty slot screwdriver may not be right for the job. The Jimmy is a nifty new tool designed to get inside delicate electronic gadgets. Jimmy’s steel blade easily slips between the tightest gaps in the toughest devices. The ergonomic handle and flexible steel blade make it easy to “jimmy” devices open and get inside. Many tech problems can be fixed with a simple restart or a straightened paper clip. For everything else, there’s Jimmy.
ARCADE ART
lovehulten.com The R-Kaid-R (Arcader) is a portable game machine wrapped in a beautiful wooden cabinet that evokes the arcade machines of the 1980s. A simple computer inside the box is loaded with an emulator that supports a range of classic video games, from PS1 and Game Boy to Nintendo and Sega. You control the R-Kaid-R and its games with an analog joystick and simple push buttons. The 8-inch LCD screen supports 800 x 600 resolution. A built-in mono speaker provides the sound. Games can be loaded via an SD Card slot hidden in the cabinet. In some ways, the R-Kaid-R is more furniture and art object than a game machine. It comes in a limited, numbered edition of 50 handmade units per colour option and sells for about $3,200.
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ELECTRIC FOOT WARMERS
canadiantire.ca Sometimes it’s not enough to put on two pairs of thick wool socks. For those cold days there’s ThermaCELL rechargeable foot warmers. Lithium ion polymer batteries embedded in the foot warmer insoles provide the heat. High tech wireless thermal technology means no wires, extension cords, or batteries strapped to your ankle. ThermaCELL insoles are adjustable to three temperature settings and are rated to survive at least 500 charges.
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Great games. Great toys. Great gadgets.
TRAC-GRABBER tracgrabber.com
Truck stuck? Get out the Trac-Grabbers.
Trac-Grabbers are designed to install easily on vehicles that are already stuck. They take up less space in your trunk than mats or boards, and they stay on your tires until you get back to stable terrain. Trac-Grabbers work in mud, sand, ice, or snow. At the first sign of getting stuck, fasten one Trac-Grabber on each of the drive wheels of your vehicle, then slowly drive to safety. The extra chuck on each wheel gives you the extra traction needed to get free. Trac-Grabbers sell for about $50 each. See tracgrabber.com for details.
LEGO BATMAN TUMBLER
shop.lego.com Your mission: build a super-cool armoured vehicle for Batman. Your tools: 1,869 pieces of plastic and an instruction booklet. You have one weekend. Go! The Tumbler is a LEGO model of the iconic vehicle from the recent trilogy of Batman movies. The kit features an armoured exterior, adjustable top wings, detailed interior and huge rubber-tread racing tires. The Tumbler measures over 5” (15cm) high, 15” (40cm) long and 9” (24cm) wide and comes with two new mini-figures based on Batman and The Joker. Don’t forget the lessons from the recent LEGO movie: these pieces do not have to stay together when you’re done. Those big tires and adjustable wings would look pretty cool on a spaceship too.
WILL IT WAFFLE?
amazon.ca Can you use a waffle iron to make more than just waffles? The answer, provided over and over by author Daniel Shumski, is YES! Start with a hearty breakfast of waffled bacon and French Toast, then try something more challenging. Main course recipes include steak, pizza, quesadillas, and turkey waffles with stuffing. Follow this with waffled s’mores and chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Waffle Cookery may seem silly, but it’s fun. You can’t say Waffle Falafel without smiling. Sandy McMurray writes about games, toys, and gadgets at funspot.ca
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