HOLY DAD! A PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA DEVOTIONAL FOR FATHERS
The Seven Promises 1. A Promise Keeper is committed to honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and obedience to God’s Word in the power of the Spirit. 2. A Promise Keeper is committed to pursuing Christ-centred friendships with a few other men, connecting regularly, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises. 3. A Promise Keeper is committed to practicing biblical integrity: spiritually, morally, ethically, and sexually. 4. A Promise Keeper is committed to strengthening families and marriages through love, honour, protection, and biblical values. 5. A Promise Keeper is committed to supporting the mission of his church by honouring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources. 6. A Promise Keeper is committed to reaching beyond racial, social, economic, generational, and denominational barriers to demonstrate the power of biblical unity. 7. A Promise Keeper is committed to influencing the world by his fervent love for God while loving his neighbour, seeking justice for the poor and oppressed, and making disciples of Jesus Christ.
Contents Occasionally movies tap into the important role of dads and can strike an emotional chord. Part of their power is the truth they contain, however they fall short of the whole truth of what it means to be a truly complete dad. Together we will explore how a man’s character and faith prepare him to be a better dad. This four week devotional challenges fathers to be more than just good dads, but to strive to be a holy dad!
SECTION 1 GOD OUR FATHER by Peter Janssens God is our Heavenly Father; our role model and our source of wisdom, strength and love. Our relationship with God is foundational to being transformed from just good to godly dads.
3 Devotion 1 4 Devotion 2 5 Devotion 3 6 Devotion 4 8 Devotion 5 9 Devotion 6 10 Resources
Do-Overs Enough Filling the Void In It Together Learning to Walk Training
SECTION 2 BE HOLY by Andrew Gordon “But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’” (1 Peter 1:15–16) Together we will explore what it means to live up to these extremely challenging words
11 Devotion 7 The Life You Were Meant to Live 12 Devotion 8 Identity Determines Behavior 14 Devotion 9 How Then Shall We Live? 16 Devotion 10 Undone 17 Devotion 11 Virtue 18 Devotion 12 Encounter 19 Resources
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SECTION 3 LOVE THEIR MOTHER by Doug Fields As dads, we are role models for our children. They watch how we work, live out our faith, and how we treat others—especially their mother. How we treat their mother will be one of our most significant legacies.
20 Devotion 13 Desire for Greatness 21 Devotion 14 The Chase 22 Devotion 15 The Affair 23 Devotion 16 The Enemy 24 Devotion 17 Oneness 25 Devotion 18 Don’t Say Everything You Think 26 Resources SECTION 4 RAISING GODLY KIDS by Rick Johnson Building on the foundation laid over the previous weeks, we explore practical advice for raising kids to be godly men and women. May God bless us as we seek to be faithful to the high calling he has given us.
27 Devotion 19 28 Devotion 20 30 Devotion 21 32 Devotion 22 34 Devotion 23 36 Devotion 24 38 Resources
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A Man in the Making A Man’s Spirituality Overcoming Challenges The Mechanics of Faith A Praying Father A Godly Legacy
SECTION 1 GOD OUR FATHER
DEVOTION 1
by Peter Janssens
DO-OVERS Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” LUKE 23:34 NIV
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s a dad, I can think of plenty of times when I wish I could have a do-over. I’ve gotten more angry than necessary over little things like spilled milk and I’ve
missed opportunities for playing or talking because I wanted to watch TV instead.
Times when I’ve either blown it by adding more horsepower to a discipline situation, or when there is an opportunity to be with my kids and I choose my own selfish desires as priority. I’ve said “no” when I probably should have said “yes” and “yes” when I should have said “no”. If I could do everything over again, I’m sure I would do things differently. If you’re like me, you probably know what I’m talking about. The Good News is we have a Heavenly Father who offers second chances. When Jesus hung on the cross, he prayed that our Heavenly Father would forgive us, because we don’t know what we’re doing. Truer words were never spoken. Think of that word “forgive”. Forgiveness is about grace and grace is undeserved favour. Notice that the word is not “aft-give” as in “I will give you undeserved favour after you show me that you deserve it.” The word is forgive as in “I will give you undeserved favour before you show me that you deserve it.” This means that in every moment of every day, our Heavenly Father offers us a second chance before we prove that we deserve it. As dads we’re going to blow it. And maybe some of us have already blown it badly. But here is the good news: our Heavenly Father offers us forgiveness. He offers us a second chance before we even deserve it. That means that every day is an opportunity to demonstrate truth and grace to our kids the way that he offers truth and grace to us. What would it look like for you to live in God’s forgiveness today? Daily Reading: Romans 5:6–8
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DEVOTION 2
God Our Father SECTION 1
ENOUGH “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” MAT THEW 7:9–11 NIV
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ne of my greatest desires as a dad is to see my kids provided for. For example, I want to provide:
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A home where they can feel loved and accepted
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Environments where they can learn about life and be educated about the world we live in
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Opportunities for them to make friends and create great memories.
This is what I, an imperfect dad, want to give my kids. And Jesus tells us that his Perfect Father has given us even more than what we want for our kids. For example, he gives us his Word, which tells us the story of how our world got messed up and how God plans to restore it. God provides people to come alongside of us, encourage us, help us carry our burdens, and to point us back to him when we’re losing hope. He sends us his Holy Spirit who comforts us, guides us, and empowers us when we are tired, confused, and discouraged. Ultimately he gives us his own son. Jesus, God’s son joins us in our suffering. Jesus forgives our sins. Above all, Jesus offers us a life, defined by grace, that that enables us to rise above our suffering. How are you making use of God’s provision for you today? Daily Reading: Romans 8
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SECTION 1 God Our Father
FILLING THE VOID A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. PSALM 68:5 NIV
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very day there are thousands and thousands of children who are growing up in homes without a dad.
For so many, dads represent strength, protection, provision, safety,
encouragement, and stability. Dads teach us right from wrong. They teach us the importance of hard work and commitment. Dads shape our identities and offer us friendship. When I was in the third grade I had a friend whose dad died of cancer, and I cried for him. I tried to imagine what it was like for him to grow up without a dad. I know that, for so many, not having a dad can be a huge disadvantage in life. This breaks God’s heart so much that he offers himself to fill that void. When the Psalmist tells us that God is a father to the fatherless, he’s telling us that God is everything that our earthly fathers are supposed to be for us . . . and more! One of the main reasons why Jesus came into this world was to bring us back into God’s family. The most tangible way we can experience God’s love and the importance of a strong and loving male influence in our lives is through the church. The church is the place where we can not only find men who can be that positive male role model and mentor in our lives, but it is also the place where we can be that father figure to those who are fatherless. Do you have a mature male in your life who represents God’s love to you? Are you coming along side the fatherless in your community to show God’s love to them? Daily Reading: Ephesians 1:1–14
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DEVOTION 4
IN IT TOGETHER “This, then, is how you should pray: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name . . .” MAT THEW 6:9 NIV
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he day my first child was born, I can remember how overjoyed I was. I also remember the twinge of fear inside of me. I had never been a dad before and
suddenly I was holding this little child for whom I would be responsible. Being a dad is a humbling job. It can often make us feel vulnerable, inadequate and alone. Children don’t come with owner’s manuals or instructions and, if you’re like me, when you don’t know what you’re doing, or when you make mistakes, you will either pull away or get louder. Neither of these options are helpful. There is a better option, though. When Jesus taught us to pray to our Heavenly Father, he began with the word “Our.” This word reminds us that in all aspects of life, including fathering our children, we are not alone. In our church families our Heavenly Father provides countless fathers, who we can learn from, confide in, and get support from. The Lord’s Prayer reminds us that as dads we are not a group of individuals.
Instead we are brothers who are connected by the love of our Heavenly Father. God knows how hard it is to be a dad. He understands the sting of rejection and the heartache of seeing his children wrestle through struggles. But God also has the wisdom to show us how to navigate these challenges. This means that we don’t need to feel alone in our desire to be great dads because not only is God with us, but we’ve also got a family around us.
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Who can you surround yourself with today? Who do you need in your life? Who can you encourage? Remember that, as dads, we don’t have to do it alone. We’re in it together. Daily Reading: Hebrews 10:19–25
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DEVOTION 5
God Our Father SECTION 1
LEARNING TO WALK “When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them.” HOSEA 11:1, 3 NIV
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ou probably don’t remember the day you learned to walk. However, if you have children, you’ll certainly remember teaching them how to walk. You’ll
remember their first wobbly steps as they clung to your fingers on both hands, then one hand and, finally, solo. Loving parents teach their children how to walk. God, as a loving Father, teaches his children to walk too. But what does it mean that our Heavenly Father teaches us how to walk? The Bible teaches that, whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did. (1
John 2:6 NIV). It also teaches that we are to keep in step with the Spirit. (Galatians 5:25). This means learning how to love as Jesus loved so that we can live as he lived. It means striving to become more like Jesus in his love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. As a dad, learning to love as Jesus loved is a huge learning curve. And, like children, we will all stumble and fall. However, the good news is that, when we fall, we have a Heavenly Father who willingly and lovingly picks us up again. He helps us take another step forward. If you are in a season of blessing as a dad, thank your Heavenly Father for his grace. If you are stumbling and feeling like a failure, reach up to our Heavenly Father. Let him love you and let him teach you how to take another step. Daily Reading: Isaiah 40:28–31
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DEVOTION 6
SECTION 1 God Our Father
TRAINING Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? HEBREWS 12:7 NIV
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here are two ways to think about discipline. One way is to think about it as punishment. For example: Johnny was grounded three weeks because his
parents were disciplining him. A second way to think about discipline is to think of
it as training. For example: an athlete is disciplined in repeating his drills so that on game day, he is ready. When the Bible talks about our Heavenly Father disciplining us as his sons, it is speaking more about training than it is about punishment. For example, as dads we often need to be patient, understanding, gentle, and forgiving with our kids. These qualities don’t often come naturally to us. Because of this, improving in these areas take discipline, training, and practice, which is often very hard. Jesus understood this. The Bible says: Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered. (Hebrews 5:8 NIV) Our hardships are often cues to come to our Heavenly Father and ask what we need to learn in order that we may become more like him. You see, like all great dads, our Heavenly Father wants us to be the best that we can be. In order to be the best that we can be, we must love as Jesus loved. However, this takes work. It takes practice. It also takes discipline. If you are in a challenging season right now as a dad, it may be an opportunity for you to reflect on your character. Where, in this season, do you need the most practice and training to become like Jesus? Bring these qualities before God and then lean in and ask him to train you. Daily Reading: Hebrews 12:1–12
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SECTION 2 BE HOLY
DEVOTION 7
by Andrew Gordon
THE LIFE YOU WERE MEANT TO LIVE “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” JOHN 10 : 10
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oliness . . . it’s a loaded word and not necessarily a positive one for a lot of us. It’s a spiritual word. While other virtues such as honesty, caring for others
or being a hard worker easily transfer into our everyday experience, holiness is
a concept that seems reserved for Sundays or for a select few who operate at a different level then most of us. Growing up I attended a church where we sang “Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty” every Sunday. As wonderful as that hymn is, the concept of holiness somehow got twisted into the image of an angry God who I could not relate to and who was disappointed in me. So we leave holiness in the category of something that we should be but not really something that is obtainable or desirable. But what if holiness was the key to the whole thing? If it really was the missing link, the key that turned the lock that opens the door to the life we all want? God calls us to be holy not because he is trying to rub our noses in own inadequacies or set an unobtainable standard that reminds us of our failures. Rather, the call to holiness is an invitation to experience life to the full, free from the entanglements of sin, released from the pit of guilt and the shackles of shame. Jesus has so many incredible attributes but at the core of his character is holiness. He was completely free from sin. Therefore he had uninterrupted connectivity with God the Father and was able to accomplish all that the Father willed for him to do. His holiness is what allowed him to become our substitute, our sacrifice, our saviour. Holiness is true freedom. It enables us to follow wholehearted. It is the way life was meant to be lived. Daily Reading: John 10:7–18
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DEVOTION 8
IDENTITY DETERMINES BEHAVIOR “Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.” 1 PETER 1: 13
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ften, as my teenage boys walk out the door to school, to sports, to being with their friends, I want to say, “Don’t forget who you are”
because I know that how they see themselves will directly influence their behaviour. As members of our family they represent our values and demonstrate our character. Likewise, understanding our identity in Christ is crucial to holiness. The first
half of 1 Peter chapter 1 is all about what God has done for us through Christ (heavenly privileges). The second half of the chapter is about how we can live in response to that gift (earthly responsibilities). The hinge word is “therefore” (vs. 13). Therefore, in light of all of this (because of who you are, in response to all that God has done for you) live differently. Google search the phrase “why are Christians so…” and the autocorrect will suggest — words like “hypocritical”, “mean”, “angry”, “greedy” — all negative. But imagine if we were to live so courageously, so differently that the auto correct became, “loving”, “good”, “caring” or even “so holy”. Pursuing holiness doesn’t mean that I try to be perfect in everything I do. Pursuing holiness means that I am trying to see things, including myself, from God’s perspective and then live accordingly. I am looking at my life, engaging in my activities, developing my character, and planning my future with God’s perspective at the forefront of my mind, asking, “What would Jesus do in this situation?”, “What does God want for me as his son?”, or “How does God view this?”. Peter continues, “prepare your minds for action”. In other words, put a filter over your mind and avoid sinful messages and situations that entice you to
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Be Holy SECTION 2
comprise. When selfishness, sinful or lustful thoughts come, ask God to remove them and replace with thoughts that emerge out of your true identity in Christ. Daily Reading: Leviticus 19:1–2
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DEVOTION 9
HOW THEN SHALL WE LIVE? ”As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do.” 1 PETER 1:14–15
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ursuing holiness begins with a decision of the mind but it also requires a choice of the will, deciding deep down inside—I choose to think and live
differently. I am dissatisfied with where I am at and I am committed to being who
God has called me to be. I am not going to engage in wilful sin anymore; I am going to live God’s way. 1 Peter chapter 1 verse 13 says, “set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.” We find hope, not in our discipline but in God’s grace. It’s about asking God to change us from the inside out and then allowing him to do it. The decision of our mind and choice of our will results in actions. 1 Peter 1:14 is where the rubber meets the road. If you are a Christian your character and lifestyle will be different. Integrity, love, wisdom, strength, peace, honesty, purity — that’s what people will see when they look at your life. God’s presence in your life will dramatically influence what you watch, what you consume, what comes out of your mouth, what your character is like. When it comes to holiness in our actions, Peter gives a pattern to follow that includes a prohibition and a pursuit. Resist evil and receive grace. It’s like breathing. When we exhale we release from our body carbon dioxide. When we inhale we breathe in life giving oxygen. Spiritually, we expel evil so that we can take in the things of God. As we do, we begin to heal and live as we should. Breath in,
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breath out. What sinful habits and struggles do you need to breathe out of your life? What Godly virtues do you need to breathe in? Daily Reading: Romans 12:1–2
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DEVOTION 10
Be Holy SECTION 2
UNDONE “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips . . . and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.” ISAIAH 6:5
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risis and change often bring people to times of self-examination and prayer. Isaiah went to the temple to pray because King Uzziah’s reign, which had
begun with such promise, had ended tragically. Any crisis, even a small one, can be
an opportunity for a fresh vision of God. Isaiah saw God and it was a time for reverence. He had placed so much confidence in a visible king that he felt little need to reach out to the invisible king. In his vision he saw God in majesty — “high and exalted”. He saw God in power — “The train of his robe filled the temple.” He saw God in His holiness — The seraphs, cover themselves in humility. When they sing, they begin with, “Holy, holy, holy.” Isaiah saw his sin and it was a time of repentance. This is a natural reaction to the holiness of God. When we capture a vision of God, we must see ourselves as we really are, even if it grieves us. It is a refreshing thing to see that Isaiah mentioned his own sin before he mentioned the sin of his neighbours. Isaiah saw his cleansing and it was a time of restoration. God did not deny Isaiah’s sinfulness, but he did provide an escape. A seraph took a coal from the altar, where the sacrifice for sin was made, and seared Isaiah’s lips, sterilizing them. There was no reason for Isaiah to continue to feel unworthy. He had been made pure. Isaiah saw his mission and it was a time of recognition. Moving out on mission is not just the result of holiness but one of the means by which we obtain it. Faith and good works are tied together. God says, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” and Isaiah responds, “Here am I. Send me!” There may be change and chaos in the world, but God is still on the throne. Just look around. He might be closer than you think. Daily Reading: Isaiah 6:1–9
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DEVOTION 11
VIRTUE “I will be careful to lead a blameless life . . . I will walk in my house with a blameless heart. PSALM 101:1–3
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irtue, like holiness, is an old-fashioned word that we don’t hear much. Yet virtue and holiness are foundational to what it means to live as a follower of
Jesus. N.T. Wright says that virtue is, “not so much doing the right things but the forming of habits and hence moral character through the work of the Holy Spirit.” We are saved by God’s grace alone, through faith in the person and work of Jesus, with no merit of our own (Eph. 2:8–9). The result of our salvation is that we
are now changed (Eph. 2:10). Before we knew Christ we were trapped by sin, but now by God’s grace we have been released and empowered to live in the manner we were created for holiness. Holiness and virtue become the outward practical expression of a Spirit transformed heart and life. As we pursue them we make the gospel visible to those around us through our character, attitude and actions. Read chapters 1-3 in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians and you will see that God has created us, in Christ, to be his “masterpieces” (Eph. 2:10). Then in chapters 4-6 the focus shifts to how we now can live in response to that new reality. These chapters are a handbook, a how-to guide for everyday living! Chapter 4 begins with the invitation to “live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” This call is not about checking off a list of spiritual do’s and don’ts but rather it is about living a life where the Spirit of God influences our responses, shapes our desires and motivates our behaviour. Daily Reading: Ephesians 4:1–2, 17–32
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DEVOTION 12
Be Holy SECTION 2
ENCOUNTER The thing David had done displeased the LORD. The LORD sent Nathan to David. Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” 2 SAMUEL 11:27; 12:1, 13
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henever we encounter God we are changed. So how do prepare to meet God? In 2 Samuel chapter 11 King David stops acting like the king. David allows
temptation to lead him downward into to lying, deceiving, manipulating, sexual sin
and ultimately committing murder in an effort to cover his tracks. The chapter ends, “the things David had done displeased the Lord.” (27) As chapter 12 begins, God sends Nathan and David welcomes him. Obviously they have spoken before. Nathan routinely would speak to the king and give him God’s message. Like David we need to have a godly routine. We need to regularly allow God to speak in to our lives—by being in places where we will hear from God and with people who can speak for God. Second, we need a teachable spirit. David allows God’s words penetrate his mind and his heart. He knew that what Nathan was saying was true. How good are you at listening, really listening, to God in an attentive teachable way? David needed to wait until Nathan the prophet showed up to hear specifically from God, but we have God’s word right in in our hands in the Bible. We need to read it with open hearts and say, “Lord speak, I am listening.” Third, we need a responsive heart. David was ready for action; he was ready to institute harsh and severe justice. Then Nathan rebuked David. He told David of the consequences that his sin would bring and how God was displeased with his sin. Now David had a decision to make; he could reject God’s word outright, he could rationalize his sin. Instead David chooses wisely; he responds to God’s word, even when it is a hard word of judgment. In verse 13 David responds with the acknowledgement, “I have sinned against the Lord.” If we are going to have an encounter with the Almighty we need to develop godly routines, a teachable spirit and a responsive heart. A godly encounter will change us, transform us and make us more like Jesus. Daily Reading: Psalm 51
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DEVOTION 13
LOVE THEIR MOTHER SECTION 3
by Doug Fields
DESIRE FOR GREATNESS “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 CORINTHIANS 12 : 9
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hen I was little, like most boys, I wanted to be a superhero. Specifically, I wanted to be Batman. He had cool gadgets and was a great fighter. When I
became a hormone-filled preteen, I switched to wanting to be Invisible Man . . . for
obvious reasons. As I hit late adolescence, my athletic dream began to fade. I discovered that to become a professional athlete required that I actually had to be good at something. Even if I had been blessed with above-average athletic ability, I heard that there was something involved in sports called practice. Just thinking about having to practice made me uncomfortable, triggering a love for Twinkies—which I became very proficient at consuming. So needless to say, I let go of that dream of being SI’s Athlete of the Year. But the dream of greatness never left. I still wanted it though I was not sure what path to greatness I wanted to chase. Man inherently possess a desire for greatness. I am guessing when you were a boy, you never said, “I’m going to strive for mediocrity with the hope of never achieving anything.” Yet somewhere along the way your dreams for greatness crossed the intersection of reality, and life that you broadside. It’s not that you give up the hope for greatness; it’s just that life got in the way: responsibilities, pain, disappointment, careers, relationships that required work—or didn’t work at all—unreasonable and unmet expectations, marriage, children, you name it. Here’s the sad truth: when our dreams fizzle, we simply learn to settle for lesser dreams. In fact, many of us settle for the crap that the culture has sold to us about what men are supposed to be like: we are supposed to chase things, and we took the bait, hook, line, and sinker. Daily Reading: Psalm 8
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SECTION 3 Love Their Mother
THE CHASE “But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it is also meaningless—like chasing the wind” ECCLESIASTES 2 : 11 NLT
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e are surrounded by this stereotypical, culturally correct man. He loves the chase, he works hard, he is strong, he has his pride, he conquers, he
advances, he gets his way, he does what he wants, and when he drinks beer, he drinks Dos Equis. Our culture paints the picture of a man’s man who is driven by thoughts of, I’ve
got to close another deal. I’ve got to sign another contract. I’ve got to buy more property. I’ve got to re-fi another loan. I’ve got to land another bid. I’ve got to get ahead of him. I’ve got to get that promotion. I want what he has. I’ve got to say yes to more. I’ve got to say yes to the chase. It appears that a man’s drive for the chase goes back thousands of years. The Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes was written by one of the most successful and prosperous men to ever live, the wisest of them all, King Solomon. Solomon appeared to have it all. In his forty-year reign over Israel, he spearheaded massive building projects, including the first temple in Jerusalem. He collected thousands of horses and chariots. He amassed great wealth and treasure. He was very much into the ladies, having seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. Seriously? He needed a thousand different women? I would hate to see his Visa bill after Hanukkah. Solomon was a master of the chase. Yet, reflecting upon all he had accomplished, he wrote: “But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it is also meaningless—like chasing the wind” (Eccl. 2 : 11 NLT). Sadly, we have bought into the cultural construct of manhood. We are addicted to the chase. We are busy, and our busyness validates our sense of importance. Yet we, like Solomon before us, are chasing the wind. We are too busy to notice that the chase is killing our souls, wounding our wives, and destroying our marriages. Daily Reading: Ecclesiastes 2
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Love Their Mother SECTION 3
THE AFFAIR “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” MATTHEW 6:21
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ome of you reading these pages are having an affair. Maybe not with a woman, but with the chase. Your work is the object of your affection. Your phone is your
mistress, and your laptop is your lover. The wind is getting your best efforts. When
your wife carefully raises a caution flag about your busyness and lack of margin in life, you become defensive and blame her with a clever sentence like, “I’ve got to do all this so that you can live the life that you want to live.” Really? Your wife may appreciate the lifestyle your chase can provide. But she really would give it up in a heartbeat to have more of you in her life. She does not want your presents; she wants your presence. Guys, you are driven to provide for the needs of your family. This is the grainof-truth, the God-given wiring, and the sacred cog of the chase. But many of us have managed to bury the truth under layers of self-interest and self-fulfillment until the truth has been lost. The point of the chase has become the chase itself. Daily Reading: Matthew 6: 19–34
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SECTION 3 Love Their Mother
THE ENEMY “The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.” 1 JOHN 2:17
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he busyness of experience in pursuit of the chase is an archenemy of being your woman’s hero. The chase robs you of the depth in your relationships, particularly
your relationship but the most important human being in your life: your wife. When you are addicted to the chase, you have no time for building or maintaining depth in your marriage. You lose focus on what really matters, and the people you love become all too familiar. As Max Lucado, one of my favorite authors, wrote: He’s an expert in robbing the sparkle and replacing it with the drab . . . And his strategy is deceptive ... Nor will he steal your home from you; he’ll do something far worse. He’ll paint it with a familiar coat of drabness. He’ll replace evening gowns with bathrobes, nights on the town with evenings in the recliner, and romance with routine. He’ll scatter the dust of yesterday over the wedding pictures in the hallway until they become a memory of another couple in another time ... Hence, books will go unread, games will go unplayed, hearts will go unnurtured, and opportunities will go ignored. All because the poison of the ordinary has deadened your senses to the magic of the moment. (Max Lucado, God Came Near, Thomas Nelson, 2010)
The chase causes you to be overcommitted and under-connected. Something has to change for your marriage will suffer the consequences. Daily Reading: Ephesians 5:25–33
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Love Their Mother SECTION 3
ONENESS “and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” MARK 10: 8–9
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nd here is a bit of biblical truth to drive the nail home: There is only one thing on earth the Bible talks about being one with. It’s not your job,
your kids, your ministry, your hobbies, your golf game, or your fantasy football team(s). It is your wife. And if you are chasing anything else at the expense of oneness with your wife, you are chasing the wind. A hero is not created when a man chases the wind. A hero is created when a man recognizes he has been chasing the wrong things and realizes that his wife should be the object of his chase. Husbands, remember the early days of romance with your wife? Remember when you chased after her, flirted with her, try to win her attention, her thoughts and her affection? Return to those days. Start chasing your wife again! Your relationship with her is far more meaningful than any money
you will ever earn and far more important to your happiness than any work achievement you will ever attain. Be her hero! Chase her. Don’t stop chasing her. Ever. This is a chase worthy of addiction. It is one that will pay off with a healthy, vibrant, and growing marriage. Daily Reading: Genesis 2: 4–25 These pages contain excerpts from Doug’s book, 7 Ways To Be Her Hero, by Thomas Nelson Publishing
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DEVOTION 18
SECTION 3 Love Their Mother
DON’T SAY EVERYTHING YOU THINK “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.” JAMES 3 : 9
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he first action that will help you improve as a husband is extremely simple and logical to understand, but it is quite difficult to put into practice in marriage: Don’t say everything you think.
I promise—you don’t have to. I realize this call to action may disorient the male brain. I know you think you have to say everything that comes into your mind, but you don’t. Really! If you can learn to master this, you will become heroic. Although it is a lot easier said than done. A good starting point for most guys is to make a simple admission that mastering this action is going to be difficult . . . make that very difficult. Go ahead and confess it right now. If you don’t want to say it aloud because you’re reading this on the plane or in a crowded Taco Bell, I understand, but at least admit—to yourself, silently—how tough this is going to be. Making hurtful and mean spirited comments is too easy, especially when you are, like me at times, simply stupid. How smart was I several years ago when I was pondering whether to tell my pregnant wife, “Honey, it looks like you’ve picked up some weight over the holidays”? And, truth be told, how smart can it be to even be having a serious internal dialogue with yourself that is even asking this question? See, I’m not always so intelligent. To truly be her hero, you don’t say everything you think when you think it. Daily Reading: James 3
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ADDITIONAL READING RESOURCES from Doug Fields
7 Ways To Be Her Hero In 7 Ways to Be Her Hero Fields gives, quite candidly, seven very doable actions to transform any marital relationship, guaranteed. It also includes a bonus chapter for guys to read with their wives. So if you want to understand some simple ways to invest in your marriage and be your wife’s hero (again), this is the plan! For these titles and other resources for men visit
PromiseKeepers.ca 26  Holy Dad!
DEVOTION 19
SECTION 4 RAISING GODLY KIDS
by Rick Johnson
A MAN IN THE MAKING “You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings . . .” PSALM 8:5
I
know from experience that the average guy who is not involved in full-time ministry is seldom aware of the spiritual warfare taking place around him. It
seems intensified the more you are being used by the Lord and the more reliant
you become upon him. Most of us spend so much time just trying to get by that we are not aware of the spirit world around us. Only when we start becoming used by God do the spiritual attacks intensify to the point where the normal day-to-day distractions are not covering our eyes like scales. The only other time we are aware of the spiritual realm is during a crisis in our lives. And yet that battle takes place around all men. The evil one hates marriage and families. He will attack you every way possible. Being created in the image of God brings special challenges and battles attached to it. Being created in that image comes with the capacity to impact the world. Jesus Christ came to earth as a man and he is still impacting the world 2,000 years later—as a model for us. As men we have the potential to change the world so much more than most of us ever realize. Men (especially as fathers) have been given a tremendous power to influence the lives of other people. People we will never meet are being impacted by what we do or don’t do right now. Future generations are being directed by our actions or inactions today. Our wife and children are looking to us to provide leadership in their lives that they cannot get anywhere else but from us. We have more influence in the lives of our families than any other person walking the face of this earth. Do we take that responsibility seriously? Many men do and the lives of people around them are blessed mightily. But those who do not recognize the power they hold in their hands waste that gift and let those under their influence shrivel and die spiritually and sometimes emotionally and physically as well. Do you recognize your power and understand the battle that is taking place around you? Daily Reading: Psalm 8
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DEVOTION 20
A MAN’S SPIRITUALITY They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” ACTS 16:31
I
f we want to raise children with a strong spiritual faith then we must be men of strong faith. There’s just no way around it. The only way we can create a Godly
legacy is to live one ourselves. Fathers are an extremely important factor in transmitting faith to their children. A child’s perspective of their earthly father heavily influences their perception of their heavenly Father. Your children will be influenced by their father’s faith—or lack thereof. A father who does not believe
in anything will have children who will fall for anything. But it’s difficult to share something if we don’t understand it ourselves. I’m convinced so many men (even Christian men) not only don’t understand what they truly believe in their hearts, but don’t understand how that confusion impacts the day-to-day decisions they make. When we are lukewarm, tepid, passive, or complacent in our faith, it teaches our children that there are no truths in life and that there is nothing worth getting passionate about in life. It also leaves them without a moral foundation from which to face life. Here are a few tips to help you grow and understand your own faith so you can begin to pass it along to your children: 1 Share the story of your testimony with your children—often. Talk about the challenges you had before coming to Christ and the challenges you’ve faced since. Tell your children what you believe (know) to be true and why.
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2 Discuss with your wife how spiritual warfare may be a factor in some of the challenges your family faces today or has faced in the past. 3 Let your children observe you doing the “mechanics” of faith building: reading the Bible daily, praying daily, praying with your wife, attending church weekly, etc. This teaches them that, just like any other endeavor in life, practice makes perfect. Daily Reading: Acts 16: 25–34
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DEVOTION 21
OVERCOMING CHALLENGES Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus 2 TIMOTHY 2:3
A
young man I had been mentoring was asking me about some significant challenges I’ve had in life. He asked how it had affected me as a man when
my earning power (which had been quite high) had dropped so low when I first
started my ministry. Most men derive a large amount of their self-esteem from their ability to provide adequately for their family, and I’m no different. After thinking about it, I told him that while it had impacted me, I almost did not feel responsible. I explained that the physical laws of the universe dictate that effort and energy expended properly (intelligently) creates a product—a result. I had been working as hard and as smart as I was capable of and nothing of substance was being produced. That was illogical and violated the laws of physics unless something supernatural intervened. That supernatural intervention could come from only one of two sources—God or the evil one. Either way, God would use it for his purposes and my goal was to learn what I could from that lesson. So where does all this leave a father when it comes to leading his family spiritually? If you are like me and most other guys I know, your wife is probably more spiritually devout (or at least spiritually mature) than you are. My wife was a Christian long before I became a believer and seems to intuitively be more open to God and religion in general. Even though I operate a ministry and feel like I am pretty close to God most of the time, my wife spends more time in dedicated Bible study than I do, reads the Bible more often than I do, and possibly even prays more than I do. She can probably quote Scripture passages more fluently than I can, and she appears to be more deeply moved during worship service than I often am. I don’t know if this means she is more holy than me, but it sure makes me question who should be leading who spiritually in our family. That said, I must have faith that God will bless my efforts of leading my family spiritually.
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Raising Godly Kids SECTION 4
A thought struck me the other day. I feed the cat and dog the same food every day. They would likely starve to death if I did not provide for them daily. I’m like the “big manna cart in the sky.” Yet, they never get tired of the same food day after day. Unlike the Israelites in Exodus they never get tired of the same manna given to them daily by a superior being. They continue to be grateful (at least the dog does) for the food I give them regardless of the sameness or nasty odor of it. If only I was as grateful to God as my dog is to me for the blessings I am given on a daily basis, I would probably be a much better spiritual leader in my home. Daily Reading: Psalm 100
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DEVOTION 22
THE MECHANICS OF FAITH Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 1 CORINTHIANS 9:24
A
young man who is a friend of mine sat with me to discuss the challenges of maintaining a man’s faith and what that looks like. He was a bit discouraged
on what God would have him do next with his life. One of the things I told him that I have to do is to have the self-discipline to continue doing the small things that matter even if I do not see them producing any spiritual fruit in my life. For
instance, I must continue to pray to God every day, read the Bible every day, attend church every week, and pray with and for my wife every day, even (especially) when I don’t feel like doing all these things. Even though sometimes this feels mechanical or unanswered, I need to continue to do these small things as part of being faithful and training myself to be prepared for when God does use me.
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A good analogy is the world of sports. Athletes are required to practice a variety of small drills and skills over and over again. They often complain that there is no reason to keep doing something they already know how to do. But invariably that practice allows them to react instantly in game-time situations. The muscle memory they develop kicks in unconsciously when they need it most. They are rewarded during the game by their faithfulness to practice the small things—the game is won during practice. The harder and more precise your practice is, the better you will perform during the game. I believe God rewards our faithfulness in the small areas of worship and discipleship in the same way. When the game of life is on the line, our faithfulness pays off big time. Daily Reading: Philippians 3: 12–21
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DEVOTION 23
A PRAYING FATHER The prayer of a righteous man [father] is powerful and effective. JAMES 5 : 16
P
rayer is one of the best things you can do as a father of your children. It is also one of the best virtues you can teach your kids. A father’s prayers for his
children may carry weight with the Lord as it speaks to his Heavenly-Father heart
(James 5:16). When your children see you intimately praying, it instills in them the belief that Dad does not think he is God. They are more likely to take your instruction and advice with more credibility because they recognize that you are accountable to someone important—the Creator of the universe. Here’s one dad who understands how to instill and develop spirituality in his children: I have also created a small tradition with my children when I tuck them into bed in the evening. After we say our prayers together, I look at them and I put my hand on their heart. I tell them, “God has very big plans for you.” I know they don’t understand quite yet what this means, but I am trying to instill in them that their life is of great importance and they should feel as if God has great expectations for their lives. My three-year-old daughter now responds with, “I am little, Daddy, God has little plans for me.” I tell her, “No, Liza, God has big plans for you.” The other night she asked me, “How am I going to carry those big plans?” I told her I would carry them for her until she grew big enough to carry them herself. She agreed. Teaching your children to pray is easy. First, Dads, just model it for them. Pray out loud at meals and pray over your kids at bedtime (a very powerful experience). Kids need to learn to pray because the belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God can assuage many of life’s fears for a child, especially during scary times.
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I think we often get too hung up on using fancy, stilted wording when praying. Sometimes prayers are mechanical, repetitive, and filled with obscure language. But that’s not how I pray inside my head when I’m talking to God. Teach your kids to talk with God just like they would carry on a conversation with anyone else. God wants to hear what is on your child’s heart and He wants to hear what is on your heart as well. Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 6:6–7
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DEVOTION 24
A GODLY LEGACY Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. DEUTERONOMY 11:19
F
athers are one of the most important factors in how children develop their spirituality. Think you don’t matter, Dad? Think again. Fathers are the biggest
key to whether or not children develop faith. A large study conducted by the Swiss government revealed some startling facts regarding generational transmission of faith and religious values: 1 If both father and mother attend church regularly, 33 percent of their children will end up as regular churchgoers, and 41 percent will end up attending irregularly. 2 If the father is irregular and mother regular, only 3 percent of the children will subsequently become regulars themselves, while a further 59 percent will become irregulars. 3 If the father is non-practicing and mother regular, only 2 percent of children will become regular worshipers, and 37 percent will attend irregularly. 4 If the father attends regularly and mom irregularly or not at all, between 38 to 44 percent of children became regular attendees. Whether you want the job or not, whether you feel qualified or not—Dad, you
are the theology professor in your home. You set the spiritual tone and foundation in your home and likely the belief system your children adopt—at least until they are old enough to develop their own, which they will have to eventually. Every day you are teaching your kids about God, faith, truth, and the Bible through your
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Raising Godly Kids SECTION 4
actions and words. Didn’t think you were signing up for that when you decided to become a father, did you? And unfortunately for you, once you are in this position, you can’t resign. Because even your resignation will teach your kids something about faith. And being passive or apathetic about your spiritual walk teaches them even more. The majority of dads feel that leading their family spiritually is one of the most challenging tasks they face. When I came to Christ at forty years of age, I definitely felt that being the spiritual leader in our home was going to be a challenge. My kids were eight and ten years old at that time. So how can we best go about being the spiritual leader that our children need and that God has called us to be? We have to start by refining our own spirituality so that we can pass it along to others. This begins by healing our own spiritual wounds. Daily Reading: 2 Timothy 3:14-15 These pages contain excerpts from Rick’s newest book, 10 Things Great Dads Do: Strategies for Raising Great Kids, by Revell Publishing. This book is due for release January 2016. Rick Johnson is the bestselling author of 11 books on marriage, parenting, and masculinity and founder of Better Dads Ministries. He is a sought after speaker at large conferences around the US and Canada. Rick’s work with men and fathers was recognized when he was invited to the White House as part of the “Champions of Change” ceremony in 2012.
A Promise Keepers Canada Devotional for Fathers 37
ADDITIONAL READING RESOURCES from Rick Johnson
10 Things Great Dads Do Great dads raise great kids who tend to be happier, healthier, and more successful in life. But men sometimes struggle with how to go about being that great dad, especially if their own fathers were not positive role models. Fathering expert Rick Johnson offers men ten practical strategies to become the dads they want to be. For these titles and other resources for men visit
PromiseKeepers.ca
PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE FOLLOWING AUTHORS FOR THEIR CONTRIBUTION TO ENCOURAGE FATHERS ACROSS THIS COUNTRY THROUGH THIS DEVOTIONAL.
DOUG FIELDS >> Doug has been a leader in youth ministry for over 30 years. In addition to being a youth pastor at two churches for 11 and 20 years, Doug is the founder of Simply Youth Ministry, the co-founder of Downloadyouthministry.com, the author of more than 50 books, and is currently working with Youth Specialties & Azusa Pacific University (HomeWord’s Center for Youth/Family). More information about Doug is available at www.dougfields.com.
ANDREW GORDON >> Andrew Gordon and his wife Amy have four sons and live in Orangeville, ON where he serves as Lead Pastor at Compass Community Church. In 2012, Andrew faced a life threatening health challenge that both shook and solidified his faith. He loves making new friends, coaches sports in the community and desires to help others walk in a deepening relationship with God.
PETER JANSSENS >> Peter Janssens has been a pastor for 19 years. His vision for himself and others is to love as Jesus loves in order to live as Jesus lives. Peter has been married to his wife Cindy for 23 years and they have three children. As a husband and a father, Peter’s desire is to model the love of his heavenly Father to his family.
RICK JOHNSON >> Rick is a bestselling author of That’s My Son; That’s My Teenage Son; That’s My Girl; Better Dads, Stronger Sons; and Becoming Your Spouse’s Better Half. He is the founder of Better Dads and is a sought-after speaker at many large parenting and marriage conferences across the United States and Canada. Rick, his wife, Suzanne, and their grown children live in Oregon. To find out more about Rick Johnson, visit www.betterdads.net.
A Promise Keepers Canada Devotional for Fathers 39
NOTES
40 Holy Dad!
PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA
HOLY DAD! A PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA DEVOTIONAL FOR FATHERS
Occasionally movies tap into the important role of dads and can strike an emotional chord. Part of their power is the truth they contain, however they fall short of the whole truth of what it means to be a truly complete dad. Together we will explore how a man’s character and faith prepare him to be a better dad. This four week devotional challenges fathers to be more than just good dads, but to strive to be a‌
HOLY DAD!
www.PromiseKeepers.ca