February 12, 2014 by Pittsburgh City Paper

WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM | 02.12/02.19.2014

LIGHT-HEARTED: COMEDIAN EUGENE MIRMAN VISITS ON VALENTINE’S DAY 41

EVENTS 2.18 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: SAN FERMIN, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS, SON LUX Warhol theater Tickets $15/$12 Members & students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

2.22 – 2pm TEEN MEMBERS ONLY TOUR: SCHOLASTIC ART AND WRITING AWARDS Tickets Members FREE; to register call 412.622.3314

2.22 – 2pm FILM SCREENING: MADELYN ROEHRIG PRESENTS LOOKING UP FROM ANDY’S GRAVE (2013) AND FIGMENTS: CONVERSATIONS WITH ANDY, YEAR III (2011) Warhol theater Tickets FREE

YOU MAY NOT KNOW, ANDY HAD HIS MOTHER LIVE WITH HIM UNTIL HE WAS 42.

3.1 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: JACK QUARTET Warhol theater Co-presented with the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Tickets advance $15/$10 students; for tickets call 412.624.7529 or visit www.music.pitt.edu/tickets Tickets door $20/$15 students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

Learn this and more at the world’s most comprehensive single-artist museum.

3.5 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: CYRO BAPTISTA’S BANQUET OF THE SPIRITS Warhol entrance space Tickets $25/$20 Members & students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

4.1 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: TINARIWEN Warhol entrance space Tickets $25/$20 Members & students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District. image: Andy Warhol and his dog Lucy, ca. 1947-48

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EXPLORE THE LIFE THAT INSPIRED THE WORK.

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DIVORCE & FAMILY LAW

PROMOTIONAL PAID ADVER TI SEMENT

CELEBRATING:

Pittsburgh’S Finest 2014

ATTORNEY SCOTT L. LEVINE states that when it comes to the major life

We present 11 Pittsburgh professionals who demonstrate excellence in the ﬁelds of law, healthcare, education, technology, social services & business for 2014.

“TOTAL BODY LIFT” RELEASE World reknowned plastic surgeon DR. DENNIS J. HURWITZ of the HURWITZ CENTER FOR PLASTIC SURGERY and author of “Total Body Lift” introduces advanced VASER ultrasonic non and minimally invasive body contouring. Since 1977, Dr. Hurwitz has treated thousands of patients with facelift, blepharoplasty, rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, mastopexy, abdominoplasty and body contouring with liposuction following massive weight loss, pregnancy & aging. He is the only plastic surgeon in Western PA to be selected by Castle Connolly Guide of America’s Top Doctors for the past 13 consecutive years and is repeatedly listed in Best Doctors In America. Inquire about the Hurwitz Center for Rejuvenation that 3109 Forbes Ave offers specialized therapies to speed recovery after facelift & body surgery and #500, Pittsburgh non-invasive facial/body treatments such as Botox & Juvederm. Join Dr. Hurwitz (412)802-6100 & staff for a special event on VASERlipo & VASERshape to “give you a shape you can’t resist” Thursday, Feb. 13 at 5:00PM. Receive a copy of “Total Body Lift Surgery.” Free parking and refreshments will be served. Please RSVP. Visit: www.hurwitzcenter.com

GENTLE THOROUGH DENTISTRY With more than 25 years of experience, BETTY JO HIRSCHFIELD LOUIK, DMD and her staff are committed to promoting dental health and well-being for their patients, serving as a model in the community for comprehensive dental health care. Their warm, communicative approach involves a thorough consultation and examination, followed by a discussion of recommendations prior to the beginning of any treatment. Dr. Betty Jo provides up-to-date dental treatments to address your family’s dental requirements. State-of-the-art cosmetic dentistry including bonding, whitening & porcelain laminates, limited periodontics (gums), restorative work 733 Washington Rd on implants, sports dentistry, prosthetics (crowns, bridges & dentures) and full#310, Mt Lebanon service general dentistry are inclusive of the wide range of dentistry she provides (412)344-4050 to her patients. Semi-annual check-ups, digital x-rays, your own self-care efforts and regular cleanings are preventive measures emphasized in her practice. Providing effective dental care, she bridges the gap between modern dental technology and caring, gentle dentistry. Please join her group of very happy & pleased patients. Dr. Betty Jo’s motto: “Making the world beautiful one smile at a time.” Visit her website for a comprehensive overview of her many services: www.drbettyjo.com

SMART SOLUTIONS FOR THE OFFICE Like all businesses your size, you depend on your network to perform at its peak. JAMES BOYD ASSOCIATES has been doing business in western Pennsylvania for over 23 years with a focus on the small to medium sized marketplace. They provide a proactive and personalized Automatic Systems Administration Program (ASAP) service, a top-notch Backup and Disaster Recovery (BDR) service that is a cornerstone of any Business Continuity Plan and an affordable approach to Network Security. In their view you should not have to worry about whether your network is going to fail, network security or disaster recovery processes. Maybe it’s time to have a discussion with an IT professional that holds Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer (MCSE) and CompTIA Security+ designations. Visit: www.jamesboydassociates.com

37 McMurray Rd Bldg 1, #106 Upper St. Clair (412)833-0805

FINE ART, FURNITURE & ANTIQUES Are you looking for that special touch in your home or office? ASIAN INFLUENCES offers an incomparable collection of fine art, furniture and antiques. Located in a beautifully restored gallery space on Butler Street in Lawrenceville, you will find a wide range of home furnishings, including ceramics, lamps and objects d’art. Each piece has been carefully selected by the proprietor, Susan Fisher, to complement any home or office décor. Butler Street has become the “go-to” destination with its galleries, boutiques and growing number of cafes and restaurants. Each visit to Asian Influences offers 3513 Butler St you a chance to further explore the Eastern aesthetic -- with its classic forms, Pittsburgh excellent craftsmanship & rich detailing. The lamp may be from China, the vase (412)621-3530 from France or the desk from England, but each piece bears the imprint of the Orient. Browse their online galleries or stop by their showroom. Asian Influences makes finding that perfect piece a pleasure. Visit: www.asianinfluences.com

WHERE HAIR IS ART

2101 Greentree Rd Scott Towne Ctr, B#101 Pittsburgh (412)428-0121

When was the last time you were excited about your hair…really excited? Unique styling at SALON IAOMO is done with impeccable precision to keep your hair looking terrific for weeks to come. With many years of industry experience and ongoing education in innovative techniques, co-owners Roberta Kozel & Maureen Haley and their friendly, professional team are fully qualified, dedicated and ready to serve you & your beauty needs. Choose from a full selection of hair cuts for women & men, blow dry & hair style, hair relaxers & up-do’s to hair color, full color application, re-touch, highlights or lowlights (full/partial), toner & corrective color. Additional services include eyelash extensions, long hair extensions, hair loss solutions for women & men, blow dry bar, waxing spa & tanning services. The salon also offers a private wig boutique with more than 85 wigs to sample & purchase. Ask about their makeovers and bridal services. For truly outstanding hair and beauty care in a sophisticated and relaxed atmosphere, visit Salon Iaomo. Visit: www.saloniaomo.com

Shop Local and Support Small Businesses in Pittsburgh!

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

425 First Ave, 6th Fl Pittsburgh (412)303-9566

change of divorce, it is critical to seek answers early and become familiar with your legal rights and obligations. If you have questions about the divorce process, he states that you should talk to an attorney who is well versed in family law matters. Initially, Scott makes an effort to stabilize his clients’ financial situation. This may require obtaining court orders concerning child custody and spousal & child support. Many times, these issues can be resolved amicably and separation/ consent agreements can be negotiated. Recently, the American Society of Legal Advocates (ALSA) selected him as one of the Top 40 Under 40 Family Lawyers in the State of Pennsylvania for 2014. Scott has represented numerous individuals & families in and around Allegheny County in an assorted range of family law matters. He enjoys helping people by providing compassionate legal services. Visit: www.pghdivorce.com

INTERFAITH COUNSELING & PSYCHOTHERAPY Established in 1964, PITTSBURGH PASTORAL INSTITUTE (PPI) is the regions oldest and most theologically diverse counseling center where the resources of a client’s particular religious faith are incorporated into the counseling process as the client sees fit. Services include individual, couple, family & group counseling, as well as psychiatric consultation, coaching & spiritual direction. The counseling staff are licensed psychologists, social workers, professional counselors, marriage & family therapists, certified pastoral counselors, spiritual directors, trained coaches & consulting psychiatrists. Additional services include 6324 Marchand St career assessment, consultation for clergy & congregations, continuing education Pittsburgh for mental health professionals & clergy, and community education on topics (412)661-1239 related to mental and spiritual health. (877)661-9623 Executive Director Michelle Snyder, LSW, MDiv is pleased to report that PPI’s 37 licensed & credentialed therapists provide nearly 12,000 hours of counseling and consultation to some 1,400 clients annually. Their partnership with local congregations and primary healthcare centers in four counties (Allegheny, Westmoreland, Lawrence & Fayette) enables them to provide services through 25 convenient branch-offices. Visit: www.ppi-online.org

HOLISTIC DENTISTRY IN SHADYSIDE Tammy DeGregorio, DMD, NMD, IBDM of PURE∞DENT and her team is dedi-

cated to providing you & your family with state-of-the-art, mercury-safe, fluoridefree, restorative dentistry in a new high-tech facility designed for your comfort. Holistic dentistry is a philosophy that recognizes that the teeth and associated structures are a part of the whole body. Dr. DeGregorio takes a unique Whole Body approach to oral health care; combining sound dental science & technical experience with a deep concern for her patients’ emotional well-being and comfort. Many of you probably feel invigorated after a thunderstorm or during a stroll 5830 Ellsworth Ave Shadyside/Pittsburgh along the beach. If so, ozone may be at least partly responsible for your feelings of youthful energy. Ozone (O3) is an energized form of oxygen. Dr. DeGregorio is (412)631-8947 currently using this therapy to treat gum disease / infections, tooth decay, dental surgery, cavitations, cold sores & canker sores. She focuses on whole body dentistry; making biocompatible material choices when restoring damaged teeth. Visit: www.puredent.net

A LIFETIME OF LEARNING PITTSBURGH URBAN CHRISTIAN SCHOOL (PUCS) is an independent Christian school dedicated to helping students flourish by nurturing the whole child in grades K through 8. They provide a well-rounded education for a racially & economically diverse group of children. This is one of the ways PUCS equips students to engage the world for Christ. Classes are small so that children may be well known by their teachers. Emphasis is placed on strong instruction in all academic areas, as well as community & extra-curricular activities. Each year, their student body takes the Terra Nova Achievement Test, and PUCS students have 809 Center St consistently averaged in the 80th percentile. Pittsburgh Come and see for yourself excited students and a vibrant school. If you think (412)244-1779 PUCS might be the school for your children, please give them a call. The school will plan a visit for you and your child. They have been accepted as a full member of Schools That Can. PUCS is one of 55 schools nationally to join this rigorous network promoting high-performing schools in urban communities. Visit: www.pucs.org

USE YOUR POSITION TO HELP OTHERS As a successful business professional, you have the means and opportunity to help provide residential, early childhood education, employment, behavioral health rehabilitation and other human services to children and adults who have physical and intellectual disabilities. Since 1992, INVISION HUMAN SERVICES has been supporting individuals 12450 Perry Highway with complex and often multiple disabilities. They now support hundreds of children and adults throughout Pennsylvania. Please let your family and Wexford colleagues know about the important work provided at InVision Human Services. (724)933-5100 If you’re looking for an established charitable organization to support financially, please consider InVision. There is no gift too small… or too large. Visit their website and click “Make a Difference” at: www.invisionhs.org

SPANISH / PORTUGESE CUISINE If you’re in the mood for a special meal in special surroundings, visit MALLORCA RESTAURANT and let your appetite be courted. Just deciding what to eat

2228 E Carson St Pittsburgh (412)488-1818

will be an enjoyable experience. The menu, specializing in the finest Spanish Continental cuisine, is designed to stimulate the appetite, the dinners are prepared to satisfy. Mallorca Restaurant boasts the best Spanish dishes made from original recipes with an emphasis on seafood. Choose from a variety of dishes that include veal, chicken, broiled filet mignon and Spanish sausage. They provide diners a truly sensational Mediterranean ambiance and décor complete with authentic furnishings. Few things are more enjoyable than sharing a fine bottle of wine from Mallorca’s award-winning wine selection with someone dear to you. Suits and sport coats are always in style at this casual-to-upscale dining establishment. Visit: www.mallorcarestaurant.com

View the online version of this page @ TheProfileSeries.com/021214

02.12/02.19.2014 VOLUME 24 + ISSUE 07

{COVER ILLUSTRATION BY VINCE DORSE}

[MAIN FEATURE]

tend d to 16 actâ&#x20AC;&#x153;People like something thing

[NEWS]

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still doing 25 yearsâ&#x20AC;? for selling crack. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Most places you get that for murder. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ridiculous.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Angus Lowe of the Pennsylvania Institutional Law Project on the need to reform federal drug sentencing

[VIEWS] have guys putting their careers on 12 â&#x20AC;&#x153;We the line and breaking federal drug laws so they wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t become drug addicts.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Chris Potter on the drug war and marijuana use in the NFL

[TASTE] everything we tried tasted like the 20 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nearly perfect embodiment of the best of Thai.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Angelique Bamberg and Jason Roth review Thai Cottage

[MUSIC]

wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have awarded me any cool 26 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itpoints.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; San Ferminâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ellis Ludwig-Leone on keeping his early music education quiet

[SCREEN]

â&#x20AC;&#x153;The drip-drip-drip of revelation is delivered through dialogue and body language.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Al Hoff on Asghar Farhadiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new film The Past

[ARTS]

Director of Operations KEVIN SHEPHERD Production Director JULIE SKIDMORE Art Director LISA CUNNINGHAM Graphic Designers SHEILA LETSON, JEFF SCHRECKENGOST, JENNIFER TRIVELLI

{ADVERTISING} Director of Advertising JESSIE AUMAN-BROCK Senior Account Executives TOM FAULS, PAUL KLATZKIN, SANDI MARTIN, JEREMY WITHERELL Advertising Representatives DRA ANDERSON, MATT HAHN, JESSE HERRLE, SCOTT KLATZKIN, MELISSA LENIGAN, JUSTIN MATASE, RICK MINETTI, JEANNE MUMFORD, VALERIE PFERDEHIRT Classified Manager ANDREA JAMES Classified Advertising Representatives TERRANCE P. MARTIN, TARA PARKINSON Radio Sales Manager CHRIS KOHAN National Advertising Representative VMG ADVERTISING 1.888.278.9866 OR 1.212.475.2529

{MARKETING+PROMOTIONS}

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Marketing Director DEANNA KRYMOWSKI Marketing and Promotions Coordinator LINDSEY GUARD Advertising and Promotions Coordinator ASHLEY WALTER Radio Promotions Director VICKI CAPOCCIONI-WOLFE Radio Promotions Assistants ANDREW BILINSKY, NOAH FLEMING

THIS WEEKEND!

{ADMINISTRATION} Business Manager BEVERLY GRUNDLER Circulation Director JIM LAVRINC Office Administrator RODNEY REGAN Technical Director PAUL CARROLL Interactive Media Manager CARLO LEO

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{PUBLISHER} STEEL CITY MEDIA

you think Americans are too 41 â&#x20AC;&#x153;So incredulous about the American Dream?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Margaret Welsh interviews Russianborn comedian Eugene Mirman

[LAST PAGE]

Editor CHRIS POTTER News Editor CHARLIE DEITCH Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;DRISCOLL Music Editor ANDY MULKERIN Associate Editor AL HOFF Listings Editor MARGARET WELSH Assistant Listings Editor JESSICA BOGDAN Staff Writers REBECCA NUTTALL, ALEX ZIMMERMAN Staff Photographer HEATHER MULL Interns KAYLA COPES, ANGELA SUICO

{ART}

that happens online is less real and less damaging. But itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Mary Anne Franks of the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative on the need for legislation criminalizing revenge porn

{EDITORIAL}

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Everyone who is reading [this] story is discussing it over the dinner table, while eating animals that suffered a much worse death.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Law professor Gary Francione about what our response to the death of a police dog says about how we value animals

{REGULAR & SPECIAL FEATURES} NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPHERD 14 EVENTS LISTINGS 46 SAVAGE LOVE BY DAN SAVAGE 55 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY ROB BREZSNY 57 CROSSWORD PUZZLE BY BEN TAUSIG 59 NEWS

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GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2014 by Steel City Media. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. The opinions expressed in Pittsburgh City Paper are those of the author and not necessarily of Steel City Media. LETTER POLICY: Letters, faxes or e-mails must be signed and include town and daytime phone number for confirmation. We may edit for length and clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Pittsburgh City Paper is published weekly by Steel City Media and is available free of charge at select distribution locations. One copy per reader; copies of past issues may be purchased for $3.00 each, payable in advance to Pittsburgh City Paper. FIRST CLASS MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS: Available for $175 per year, $95 per half year. No refunds. PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 650 Smithfield Street, Suite 2200 Pittsburgh, PA 15222 412.316.3342 FAX: 412.316.3388 E-MAIL info@pghcitypaper.com www.pghcitypaper.com

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“THIS IS AN IMPORTANT STEP IN IMPROVING THE FAIRNESS OF OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM.”

INCOMING Letter to the Editor I read your article about R.A.R.E Nation [“A R.A.R.E Commitment,” Jan. 29], and I have to admit, it was a disheartening read. These guys don’t see the forest for the trees. Everyone here is still bowing down to Wiz Khalifa and Mac Miller as if they are rap legends. But they’re pop stars. If you smashed them together, you’d get Drake. I would go as far as to say that Pittsburgh has never had a true hip-hop “export.” This is a very conservative city that remains in a cultural stasis. The art scene is the same as it was many years ago. If hip hop had ever been a focus here, local rappers would have received attention a long time ago, when the genre reached its peak. So, let’s be honest with ourselves. The Pittsburgh audience wants Macklemore more than Jay-Z. They want someone that’s like whipped cream: light and fluffy. They want an “artist” that they can take their kids to see. That’s why Wiz and Mac Miller are so famous now. I had an “Ah ha!” moment when Jasiri X stated that he went to an art function once and failed to see any “people of color” in the mix. Being a “person of color” who’s lived here for 15 years and gone to countless cultural events around town, I’ve arrived at that eerie conclusion myself. Yet I realized that black people here are too poor to go anywhere. They are almost as poor as the people in Detroit. But that’s an entirely different subject, isn’t it? Here’s my advice to these guys. Stop repping Pittsburgh like it’s the end-all be-all. No one cares about what city you’re from. Your talent speaks for itself. Also, modern technology allows for anyone to be a star these days (just ask Rebecca Black). You don’t need some agent to discover you. Get on YouTube, Instagram or Soundcloud and do it yourself! If you continually produce quality material, people will notice and appreciate it. — Rodra Burruss, Mount Washington

“Folks following me bc they think I’m Olympic bobsledder Lauryn (with a Y, ppl!) Williams, welcome. Hope you enjoy tweets about Beyoncé.” — Feb. 8 tweet from Lauren Williams (@laurenwilliams) of Mother Jones magazine, about the Rochester, Pa., Olympian

Average sentence for crack cocaine possession in 2012

Average sentence for crack cocaine possession in 2004

Percentage of western Pennsylvanians sentenced to federal prison for drug offenses:

SOURCE: UNITED STATES SENTENCING COMMISSION

RIGHTING SENTENCES W

HEN THE defendant walked

into U.S. District Court Judge Maurice Cohill’s courtroom for sentencing early this month, he was facing a prison sentence that could last as long as 20 years. The crime: conspiracy to distribute, and possession with intent to distribute, more than 5 kilograms of cocaine. “I’d like to apologize for even being here in court,” said the defendant, whose own parents struggled with drug addiction. “I was trying to break the cycle, and now it’s like the cycle is going to keep going.” But Cohill took a step to prevent that cycle from spiraling downward any further than it had to. The accused had experience running his own (legal) business, he noted, and had brought a half-dozen supporters with him to

the hearing. “[Your history] adds up to someone who shouldn’t have been in legal trouble at all,” Cohill said. Taking that background and other factors into account, Cohill handed down a sentence of just eight years.

Changes on the horizon for nonviolent drug offenders facing long, mandatory prison terms {BY REBECCA NUTTALL} That kind of ﬂexibility has become more common since 2005, when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that once-ironclad federal sentencing guidelines are no longer mandatory, and should be considered advisory instead. And critics of the

criminal-justice system — especially its handling of drug cases — say progress is being made, though more needs to be done. For one thing, says Angus Lowe of the Pennsylvania Institutional Law Project, “We have a reasonable President who sees we can no longer afford to expand the prison system. And the best way to [ﬁx] that is to reduce the number of non-violent drug offenders in prison.” DRUG OFFENSES still clog courtrooms

in western Pennsylvania’s federal courts. According to the U.S. Sentencing Commission, drug trafﬁcking made up 35 percent of all cases tried here in 2012 — more than any other kind of offense. But the 2005 Supreme Court decision CONTINUES ON PG. 08

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

I’M BETTER WITH BLUE

3rd Annual

B*tches Ball

After seeing too many of her neighbors affected by stroke, Jerry Allen decided to make a difference. Today, her community stroke programs are doing just that thanks to Highmark, who supplies the resources she needs to educate people about stroke prevention and support stroke survivors. Proving what members like Jerry have known for years — when it comes to caring for communities, you’re better with Blue.

BEST LOCAL FUNDRAISER!

Cruze Bar

1600 Smallman St.

Drag Competition Crowning Miss B*tchburgh 2014

Tuesday, Feb. 25, 2014 6-10 pm (doors open at 5:30 pm)

Real Member Jerry Ann Allen

Tickets $30 ($40 at the door*) includes: s 1st Spay Breeze FREE! courtesy of White Diamond Vodka s Drink Specials s Hors d’oeuvres provided by Chef Tom Barnard s Raffles and Giveaways Order tickets online at animalrescue.org/b-ball-tickets Proceeds benefit: *Limited number of tickets available. Highmark Blue Cross Blue Shield is an independent licensee of the Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association. Subject to the terms of your benefit plan. 36 USC 220506

412 345 7300 412-345-7300 4 www.animalrescue.org

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780 Co Commerce Park k Dri D Drive ve Cranberry Twp, PA 16066 (724) 779-9393

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RIGHTING SENTENCES, CONTINUED FROM PG. 06

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United States vs. Booker allowed judges to hand down sentences below federal guidelines, and today they frequently do so: 45 percent of western Pennsylvania offenders that come before federal judges received sentences below the guideline range. But some critics say those numbers veil ongoing problems. Judges can depart from mandatory minimums — which set a base-level prison time — and other sentencing guidelines for a few reasons. Among them: cooperating with the government and pleading guilty. The latter is especially common. In western Pennsylvania, 96.9 percent of all offenders in federal court pled guilty in 2012, according to the U.S. Sentencing Commission. In just over 17 percent of cases, meanwhile, defendants received a lighter sentence by providing law-enforcement with help bringing down other suspects — a trade-off called a “substantial assistance departure.” Some skeptics say that while both rationales can knock years off a sentence, they may create injustices of their own. “If you can threaten a lot of time, you can pressure people to plead guilty,” says David Harris, a University of Pittsburgh law professor. “What they’re hearing is, ‘If you don’t plead guilty, you’re going to face 20 years … but we can reduce it if you do.’” Meanwhile, he says, the “substantial assistance” rule does little for footsoldiers in the drug trade, who may deserve punishment the least. “If I’m a low-level dealer, I might want to give information,” Harris says. “But there’s no way for me to reduce my sentence because I don’t know anything.” Magdeline Jensen, CEO of the YWCA of Greater Pittsburgh agrees. She worked with the U.S. Sentencing Commission when the guidelines were ﬁrst drafted. “Offenders who have major involvement have more information,” Jensen says. “The people who have a smaller role can get caught up despite the fact they may have no record.” U.S. Attorney David Hickton, who represents the Western District of Pennsylvania, declined comment. Ironically, perhaps, when the sentencing guidelines were established

by the Sentencing Reform Act of 1984, the goal was to make sentencing more equitable by reducing disparities from one judge to another. “The whole point was trying to bring some parity,” says Jensen. “The original idea is they get applied and if the court doesn’t sentence in the range, [a person] can appeal” rather than be subject to a judge’s whim. But sentencing disparities have remained. A 1994 study published in Federal Sentencing Reporter found that racial disparities in sentencing increased after the guidelines were adopted. A later 2001 analysis by David Mustard, a University of Georgia professor, found that AfricanAmericans received sentences 5.5 months longer than whites. Reformers say the guidelines aren’t solely to blame. “The racial disparities are present long before sentencing,” says Anna Hollis, president of Amachi Pittsburgh, an organization that works with children of incarcerated parents. “The racial disparities begin at the point of policing” — with minorities being arrested more often than whites. Currently, the momentum has shifted toward reducing penalties across the board for those convicted of drug crimes. On Jan. 30, the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee voted in favor of the Smarter Sentencing Act, which includes provisions for reducing prison sentences for non-violent drug offenses. The legislation would cut mandatory minimum sentences of 20, 10, and 5 years in half for drug crimes, provided they don’t result in death or serious bodily injury to others. It would also give judges more ﬂexibility to reduce sentences for offenders who have little or no previous criminal record. Should the measure come to a full vote, Pennsylvania Democrat Bob Casey says he’ll consider it. “I’m pleased the Senate Judiciary committee is reviewing mandatory minimum sentences and modifying sentencing guidelines for certain drug offenses, which could reduce dangerous overcrowding in federal prisons and save billions of dollars,” Casey said in a statement to City Paper. “This is an important step in improving the fairness and effectiveness of our justice system.”

“IF YOU CAN THREATEN A LOT OF TIME, YOU CAN PRESSURE PEOPLE TO PLEAD GUILTY.”

CONTINUES ON PG. 10

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

HISTORY UNCORKED 16TH ANNUAL

PITTSBURGH’S PREMIER PARTY FOR YOUNG PROFESSIONALS

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21 VIP 6:30 P.M. GENERAL ADMISSION 7 P.M.

Purchase tickets at www.heinzhistorycenter.org $57 ADVANCE TICKETS THROUGH FEBRUARY 20 $70 AT THE DOOR

Eat, drink and be merry with Paddy’s family at this authentic Irish-American wake, complete with dinner and lots of traditional Irish drinking songs.

Wednesday, March 12 2pm & 7pm | Tickets $37.50

1212 Smallman Street • Pittsburgh, PA 15222

Includes Lunch or Dinner career education

TRAIN FOR A

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Purchase tickets at RIVERSCASINO.SHOWCLIX.COM and Rivers Gift Shop.

Occupational Therapy Assistant* Electrical Technician

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The ofﬁce of Republican Senator Pat Toomey did not respond to questions about his position on the legislation. While the legislation has support from Democrats and Republicans, as well as U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, it is being criticized by the National Association of Assistant United States Attorneys. “We need to preserve the current mandatory minimum framework,” NAAUSA said in a statement. “Mandatory minimums correspond to the most serious crimes committed by the most dangerous criminals, provide prosecutors the leverage to seek cooperation, establish uniform sentences, and most importantly protect our citizens.”

legislation affected only future prosecutions, a provision in the Smarter Sentencing Act would make the new sentences retroactive, shortening sentences for current federal inmates. Lowe, of the Pennsylvania Institutional Law Project, lauds such changes. One of his clients is serving time on a sentence handed down under the old rules. “He’s still doing 25 years” for selling crack, Lowe says. “Most places you get that for murder. That’s ridiculous.” T h e r e h ave b e e n changes at the state level too. In 2012, Gov. Tom Corbett — the state’s former attorney general — passed the Criminal Justice Reform Act, which expanded alternative-sentencing opportunities, like electronic monitoring, for nonviolent drug offenders whose crimes were motivated by addiction. Lowe sees such developments as a sign the nation’s war on drugs might be coming to an end. “The drug war in itself has been a failure,” Lowe says. “Drugs are no less available then they were before. People are being locked up, and money is being spent for no gain. It doesn’t stop the trade. It just locks a lot of people up.”

“IT DOESN’T STOP THE TRADE. IT JUST LOCKS A LOT OF PEOPLE UP.”

DESPITE SUCH critics, supporters say the legislation is indicative of shifting attitudes around drug offenses. In December, President Barack Obama commuted the sentences of eight crack-cocaine offenders. He’d previously signed the Fair Sentencing Act of 2010, which made the punishments for possessing or distributing crack cocaine more consistent with offenses involving powder cocaine. (Previously, sentences for crack were harsher.) While the 2010

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PENNSYLVANIA’S state legislature is debating a “medical marijuana” bill for children living with condition called Dravet syndrome. Such kids can suffer hundreds of seizures a day, including some so severe as to stop breathing for minutes at a time. Among the few drugs that seem to help is cannabidiol, which can be extracted from marijuana. And a bipartisan group of legislators is supporting a measure, Senate Bill 1182, to ensure those children get it. Which would be great. But let’s face it: When it comes to grabbing headlines, seizure-afﬂicted children struggling against terrific odds can’t compare to a story affecting the Steelers secondary. Last week, outspoken Steelers safety Ryan Clark dove into the medical-marijuana debate like a [insert turnover-related football metaphor here]. Both of this year’s Super Bowl contenders, the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos, represent states that have legalized the recreational use of pot. And NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell indicated that the league might someday cease testing for use of the drug — a drug that might help mitigate brain damage from concussions. “I know guys on my team who smoke,” Clark told ESPN. And while the NFL boasts of a rigorous drug-testing regimen, Clark scoffed that “guys understand the ways to get around failing a drug test.” Some of the resultant commentary was as stupid as you’d expect. (Which Steelers smoke? Could Clark’s disclosure hurt the team in third-and-long situations?) But what he said is too important to remain on the sports page. According to Clark, some of his teammates justify their pot use this way: “If I can do this, it keeps me away from maybe Vicodin, it keeps me away from pain prescription drugs and things that guys get addicted to.” This is how fucked-up our “war on drugs” has become. We have guys putting their careers on the line and breaking federal drug laws … so they won’t become drug addicts. Clark wasn’t just making some ﬂimsy excuse. The Centers for Disease Control found that between 1990 and 2008, the number of people dying from drug overdoses rose threefold — and that most of

those deaths involved prescription drugs. And football players face special risks. In a 2010 survey of retired football players by researchers at Washington University, more than half of retirees said they used prescription pain meds while playing … and nearly three-quarters of those said they misused the drug. Players who admitted prior abuse were three times more likely to be misusing painkillers today, the study found. But while athletes suffer no shortage of public attention, they’re obviously less sympathetic than sick kids. One reason is that, as Clark admitted, they use it not to treat seizures, but rather stress and pain. In other words, they use pot because it makes you feel good … the very attribute that politicians backing medical-marijuana bills like SB 1182 strive to downplay. (Because the treatment allowed under the bill contains no psychoactive ingredients, “We can’t even get you high,” insisted one cosponsor last month.) On some level, we all know how stupid the war on drugs is. We all know that, in a sane world, we’d debate not just whether marijuana is a gateway to heroin, but whether aspirin is a gateway to Oxycontin. It’s almost a boring case to argue in Pittsburgh, whose new mayor once issued a proclamation honoring pot-promoting hip-hopper Wiz Khalifa. But the insanity continues even here. Last year, the American Civil Liberties Union issued a report ﬁnding that while pot use is fairly consistent across racial groups, black Pittsburghers accounted for two-thirds of the city’s pot arrests — even though they make up less than one-third of the population. Prescription-drug abuse, meanwhile, targets a broader population: Middle-aged and rural Americans are far more likely to OD on painkillers than people in urban areas. A rational drug policy wouldn’t just help Clark’s fellow Steelers, but the whole Steelers Nation. Football players, of course, are subjected to a level of physical abuse that few of us will ever undergo. But they aren’t the only ones at risk from repeated head traumas. Just look at how we’re doing after 40 years of the war on drugs … and four decades’ worth of banging our head against the wall.

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“IF PEOPLE UNDERSTOOD HOW MUCH DAMAGE THIS CAN DO TO SOMEONE’S LIFE, I THINK WE’D BE ABLE TO GET MUCH STRONGER PROTECTIONS.”

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL AND CHRIS GOODMAN}

— REVENGE-PORN VICTIM AND ACTIVIST HOLLY JACOBS

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

PAINFUL SITE

“Revenge porn” may be a larger problem than a proposed state law can solve {BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

ENNIFER WASN’T sure what to expect when she clicked the link emailed to her by the ex-boyfriend she’d dated for four years. He’d harassed her online in the past, she says, and had shown up at her job “trying to get me ﬁred.” “He did everything he could to make my life miserable,” she says. And as the Web page loaded, he ﬁnally succeeded. On the screen before her, Jennifer saw a half-dozen nude and sexually explicit photos she’d taken of herself with, and for, him.

sites. But a lawyer she spoke with said that suing the site’s owner would cost thousands of dollars — money Jennifer didn’t have. She came up empty at the state-police barracks as well. “I talked to a female trooper,” Jennifer says. “But the trooper said, ‘Sorry, there’s no law against that.’” “It just doesn’t make sense to me: How can this not be illegal?” State Sen. Judy Schwank began asking the same question last year. “As I looked into this, I realized there was

misdemeanor — doesn’t go far enough. They cite an unlikely combination of hurdles: law-enforcement ofﬁcials who can seem lessthan-sympathetic to victims, and free-speech advocates whose sympathy is tempered by concerns for the First Amendment. The American Civil Liberties Union has fought revenge-porn measures elsewhere, though it is neutral on Schwank’s bill. “Free speech is a fundamental American value, and we don’t want to toss it aside when we are upset and angry over an action that someone has taken,” says Andy Hoover, the legislative director for the ACLU’s Pennsylvania chapter. “We want to make sure victims are protected while free speech is maintained, and I think it is possible to have both.” “REVENGE PORN” really entered the cultural lexicon in 2010, with the launch of the website IsAnyoneUp.com. Its owner, Hunter Moore, became what Rolling Stone called “the most hated man on the Internet,” partly because the site encouraged users not only to upload nude and explicit imagery, but to provide personal information, like Facebook and

“IT’S NOT RIGHT THAT SOMEONE WHO TOOK SOME PHOTOS AND SHARED THEM WITH A PARTNER IS NOW INADVERTENTLY A PORN STAR ON THE INTERNET.” — STATE SEN. JUDY SCHWANK “It took everything I had not to vomit,” recalls the Fayette County resident, whose real name, when Googled, yields a link to the photos within the ﬁrst two pages of search results. According to a counter on the page, the photos have been viewed nearly 9,000 times so far. Jennifer says she believes the ex-boyfriend who sent her the link was also responsible for putting the photos online. He was the only person she’d sent them to, she says, and another of his ex-girlfriends told Jennifer that her own photos had also been posted. They were just two of a growing legion of “revenge-porn” victims — those who’ve had intimate, and frequently explicit, photos and videos published online without permission. It’s hard to gauge the number of victims precisely. But Holly Jacobs, a revenge-porn victim and founder of the organization End Revenge Porn, says there are more than 2,000 websites dedicated to posting such photos. And once the images are posted, they can spread even further, ending up on regular porn websites. Victims have few options to prevent that fate. Jennifer had read a magazine article advising women to get copyrights for their pictures, and send takedown notices to the web-

nothing to protect women from this,” says the Berks County Democrat. “I could not believe that you could do this to another person and get away with it. It’s not right that someone who took some photos and shared them with a partner is now inadvertently a porn star on the Internet.” In December, Schwank unveiled Senate Bill 1167, the Intimate Partner Harassment Act. The measure criminalizes the posting of nude or sexually explicit imagery “for no legitimate purpose and with the intent to harass, annoy or alarm the person depicted.” SB1167 unanimously passed the Senate last month; it’s currently in the House Judiciary Committee. If it passes, Pennsylvania will be one of just four states with revenge-porn statutes on the books. But anti-revenge-porn advocates say the measure — which originally made revenge porn a felony offense, but now treats it as a

Twitter accounts, as well. IsAnyoneUp was later sold to a buyer who shut it down: The URL now links to an antibullying site. But Moore’s legacy lives on in a plethora of websites — including MyEx.com, where Jennifer’s photos are posted. Mary Anne Franks, a University of Miami law professor and vice president of the board of directors of the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative, says MyEx.com is currently “one of the worst offenders out there when it comes to revenge porn.” The site is among the few that still gets a front page hit on Google with the right search terms. Finding some form of recourse once your photos have been posted, however, is much harder. There are no federal statutes against simply hosting a site on which revenge porn is posted. In fact, federal law offers protection to websites that host content posted by someone else: The Communications CONTINUES ON PG. 18

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Decency Act largely shields websites from legal consequences stemming from material placed there by third parties. (Moore himself was indicted by a federal grand jury in January — but for allegedly conspiring with a third party to hack computers for nude images, rather than for posting images posted by others.) Franks says those provisions of the Decency Act are often misapplied: “Many people, including police ofﬁcers and judges, overestimate how much immunity websites have against criminal charges,” she says. But law enforcement often lacks “technological expertise and resources” to chase down those responsible for a site. MyEx.com includes a link to what appears to be a third-party website — a so-called “reputation site” that offered to remove the photos for $500. But Jennifer sees little reason to pay. “There’s no guarantee that [the photos will] come down,” she says. When City Paper sent questions to MyEx.com, it got a response from a correspondent identifying himself as “Adam,” who said he was not the site’s owner but worked in “customer support.” “No one knows who the owner is, only communicates through email,” he said. “We are just a third-party website. We don’t judge posters or the posted,” Adam said. “We have removed over 200 posts of alleged pictures of minors that have been requested to be removed by law agency [sic] around world.”

nately in some ways, it is being used as a model in other states.” Franks points to two weaknesses: First, the law doesn’t cover “selfies” that a victim sends to someone else — only to images actually taken by the person who posts them. Secondly, the photos must be posted “with the intent to cause serious emotional distress,” with the result that the “depicted person suffers serious emotional distress.” To date, Franks says there have been no arrests under the law. And she doubts there ever will be. “The current version has many loopholes and classifies the conduct as a misdemeanor,” she says. “Investigating this conduct almost inevitably requires seizing and searching personal devices such as computers and cell phones, and it’s very difficult for law enforcement to obtain warrants to do this when the crime alleged is so minor.” Franks says the bill Schwank has proposed in Pennsylvania is a step up from the California law, because it includes selfies on the list of images that cannot be shared online. But as in California, Schwank’s bill regards the crime as a misdemeanor, and requires proving an “intent to harass, annoy or alarm the person depicted.” That requirement, Franks says, “is a major problem.” “You have to prove that at the time these photos were posted that the person meant to hurt someone else,” Franks says. “The purveyors of revenge porn

“FREE SPEECH IS A FUNDAMENTAL AMERICAN VALUE, AND WE DON’T WANT TO TOSS IT ASIDE WHEN WE ARE UPSET AND ANGRY OVER AN ACTION THAT SOMEONE HAS TAKEN.” — ANDY HOOVER, ACLU OF PA What about the reputation site’s promises to remove the images? Adam maintained that MyEx.com didn’t own it, or any other reputation site. “The one that is on their [sic] now is just smarter then [sic] other ones. They pay us an advertising fee to have their link on site.” He did not answer a follow-up question, however, about whether paying the site’s $500 fee would guarantee the removal of the photo from MyEx.com. Even if the photos were taken down, Franks says, it wouldn’t necessarily be the end of Jennifer’s problems. “What guarantee do you have that [the imagery] won’t pop up somewhere else?” she asks. “Besides, the way things are now, what incentive does any website have to ever take these pictures down?” FRANKS AND other advocates say the best way to combat revenge porn is to go after the people who post it, rather than the websites that host it. But prosecutions are difﬁcult even in states that do have antirevenge-porn laws. Perhaps the best-known is California’s October 2013 law, which is similar to Schwank’s measure. “California’s law highlighted the need for antirevenge-porn laws,” says Franks. “But there are major problems with California’s law, and unfortu-

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

often say, ‘We’re not trying to hurt anybody, we’re just trying to make a buck.’ If the person’s intention is to make some money or brag about their sexual conquests, then they’re off the hook.” But whatever the motive, “the posting of this material causes the same damage to the victim,” Franks says. “I have to keep reminding people that this is sexual abuse. We don’t ask a perpetrator whether they thought the victim would enjoy it. The issue is: ‘Did I have consent?’” The bill also would not block other information often seen on these sites: Facebook proﬁles, Twitter accounts, street addresses, email addresses, places of business and phone numbers. Some websites — including the one where Jennifer’s photos are displayed — include submissions that offer no nude or sexual content at all: just photos, identifying information and a slew of insults. (One purported Western Pennsylvania woman, for example, appears on a revenge site fully clothed — alongside the poster’s complaint that the woman wouldn’t have sex with him or “help me out with nudes.”) Schwank says she is aware of such concerns: “I know the bill is not perfect,” she says, “but we are taking steps to address this problem and craft a law that can be effective to protect Pennsylvanians.”

And the law can’t be effective if it gets tossed out in court. In other states, the American Civil Liberties Union has taken issue with revenge-porn statutes out of a concern they overly limit speech. The ACLU’s Pennsylvania chapter initially had similar misgivings here. But it has taken a neutral position on Schwank’s bill — and the “intent” clause is a big reason, says Andy Hoover, ACLU-PA’s legislative director. “Generally, images are expressions of free speech, and if they are going to be criminalized, then it has to be done in a very narrow way,” Hoover explains. “I think Sen. Schwank’s bill does that. The images in question have to be sent with the intention that they are to remain private and the person who distributes the image has to have the intent to harm the person.” But Hoover says that “without the intent language, this bill would have serious First Amendment issues and would likely go down in court, and no one wants that.” “What about my rights not to be harassed?” counters Jennifer. “I’m 33 years old. I have intimate relationships like a lot of adults do. But because I took the pictures, or if a woman allows the pictures to be taken, there is a tendency to blame the victim for allowing any of this to happen.” THAT COMES as no news to Sherry, of Allentown, Pa. Her daughter was 14 when she took nude photos of herself and sent them to her high school boyfriend. The pictures were passed around by cell phone; Sherry says her daughter endured two years of bullying as a result. But she never told her mother about it until the photos were posted on the Internet after she turned 18. When her parents went to the authorities, “It was made abundantly clear to us that our daughter could be prosecuted for the initial dissemination of the photos,” Sherry says. “That is how we addressed sexting at the time — by threatening to prosecute a child for sending child porn.” No charges were filed against Sherry’s daughter … or anyone else. Though Sherry says her daughter was just 14 at the time they were taken, they are still visible on the Internet. Police have investigated, she says, but came up empty. More than five years after her daughter first took the photos, Sherry continues to call investigators about the case, but doubts anything will come of it. “I understand that with the laws the way they were written, that the police and D.A. had their hands tied,” Sherry says. “But there is just this automatic response to tell these victims that they brought it upon themselves.” Especially for teens whose “hormones have fully developed and their frontal lobes have not,” Sherry says, “There’s a difference between the initial action of sharing these intimate photos and then the posting of these images on the Internet. They are two distinct actions, and unfortunately they get collapsed into one.” Katie Kressler, another Lehigh Valley native, knows that all too well. Four years ago, when she was 17, she sent nude photos to a boyfriend. The two later had an ugly break-up — Kressler would eventually obtain a three-year protection-from-abuse order against him — and the photos surfaced last June.

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WHEN IT COMES to sexting, at least, the ACLU’s free-speech position aligns with that of revenge-porn foes: Neither supports prosecuting kids who take or send pictures of themselves. The ACLU has, in fact, fought attempts by legislators and local lawenforcement to criminalize children’s behavior in such cases. But anti-revenge-porn activists say that a larger cultural shift is needed. “I was told many times, ‘Well, you shared the pictures, maybe you shouldn’t be taking pictures like this,’” says Holly Jacobs, of End Revenge Porn. “It really opened my eyes to the victim-blaming mentality that exists out

there. And in addition to ﬁghting for legislation, we’re deﬁnitely trying to bring attention to the way we are treating victims. “If people understood how much damage this can do to someone’s life — the personal damage, professional damage and the damage to someone’s psychological stability — I think we’d be able to get much stronger protections.” In fact, Franks says, there are already stronger protections on the books. Demanding payment to remove photos amounts to extortion, she says, and some photos on revenge-porn sites constitute child pornography. Sometimes, revenge-porn operators are charged under those laws. In California, Kevin Bollaert has been indicted for allegedly operating both a revenue site and a site that promised to remove photos for a fee — usually several hundred dollars. But Franks says those cases are comparatively rare. “I think we’d hear a different response if these sites featured extremely young girls, but the fact that many of the girls are 15 to 17 years old seems to provoke little outrage or concern,” she says. “Our society, including law enforcement, has a very high tolerance for sexrelated misconduct. … [T]he fact that offering up female bodies for entertainment is so routine, and so lucrative, makes it easy to ignore the darker issues of how such material is produced or created.” On top of that, she says, “People tend to act like something that happens online is less real and less damaging. But it’s not.” Kressler, for one, checks almost every day to see if her photos have been removed. She says she informed the website that she was underage when the photos were taken, because the site claims that child pornography will not be tolerated. But as of this printing, she says the photos are still posted online — where they’ve received about 14,000 page views. She hopes that speaking out about what happened to her will help someone else. That’s why she insisted on using her real name in this story. “I don’t deserve to have child pornography of me up on the Internet,” Kressler says. “Nobody deserves to be up there like that. But I’m not going to hide because of it. “I hope the pictures come down, and I hope the person that posted them can be punished. But the way things are looking right now, I’m shit out of luck.”

Kressler went to state police. Because her protection order was still in effect, and she was underage when the photos were taken, she figured having the photos removed would be a straightforward process. Instead, she says, “I was interrogated by state police and asked to recount all of the intimate details of my relationship.” And when state police forwarded her complaint to the office of Lehigh County District Attorney Jim Martin, Kressler got back a letter saying no charges would be filed. There was “no police involvement to substantiate allegations” the letter said, adding that “a parent is required to file a private criminal complaint on behalf of a minor.” “It makes no sense,” Kressler says. “I’m 21 years old.” When contacted by City Paper, Martin says that while he signed the letter, the review was done by a deputy D.A. And he says his office’s investigation should have been more thorough. “I’ve asked a childabuse investigator to reach out to her,” Martin says. “That definitely should have been done. I can’t guarantee that the case will be prosecuted, but it will be investigated.” Still, Martin says, these cases are tough to prosecute. Martin says that the photos have to be sexually explicit to warrant prosecution: “If it’s just a photograph of breasts, it probably won’t be prosecuted at all.” “I’m not saying that she deserved to have the pictures posted on the Internet, but to an extent, she brought this about herself,” he adds. “We have a sexting program where we go into the schools and tell [girls] the ramifications of their conduct are that they may have to live with boys being boys.” And since Kressler originally sent the photos, he says, “This girl herself could be subject to prosecution.”

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NEARLY EVERYTHING WE TRIED TASTED LIKE THE PERFECT EMBODIMENT OF THAI STANDARDS

STOCK IN TRADE {BY ANDY MULKERIN} For an idea that came to Patricia French in the middle of the night, Soup Sega has been quite a success. French, a longtime member of West Homestead’s Bulgarian-Macedonian National Educational and Cultural Center, had been looking for ways to raise money for the organization. “My husband died 25 years ago, but he always ate two bowls of soup each day,” she recalls. “And he never ate canned soup — I made it all. One night, I woke up in the middle of the night and it came to me: soup! I swear I could hear his voice.” She took the idea of the Sega (a Bulgarian word meaning “now”) to the BMNECC board. “All of the men laughed at me,” she says. But after the weekly sale made $10,000 in its first year, 1999, “They stopped laughing.” The Sega has returned every year since, with a menu that’s expanded to include specialties like stuffed peppers and strudels. It’s all overseen by BMNECC board member Angel Roy, who’s been in charge of cooking for Soup Sega for most of its run. Soup — some frozen, some freshcooked — is sold at the Center Saturdays from 9 a.m. to noon, from September through May. Quarts and half-quarts of the low-salt, low-fat soups are available, and include vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free options. “We make sure they’re healthy,” French says. “I think that’s one reason it’s been so successful.” AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

449 W. Eighth Ave., West Homestead. Full menu: www.bnmecc.org/soup-sega/

the

FEED

Box x of chocolates. s. A good bottle ottle of wine. Pink cupcakes. cakes. Pancakes cooked in the shape of a heart.. A pint of Ben n and Jerry’s. Jerry’s Dinner reservations (pro tip: go Thursday). Friday is Valentine’s Day, and a good excuse for couples and singletons to indulge.

THAI TREAT {PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

ITH OUR routine of weekly dining out, we’ve been to lots of restaurants, and we usually ﬁnd something to like no matter where we go. Transcendent food is, of course, marvelous to experience, but sometimes it’s the service, the decor or an idiosyncratic spin to the menu that grabs us. All are integral to the dining experience, and excellence in one area can help to compensate for shortcomings in others. And sometimes an ordinary-seeming restaurant puts it all together: decor, atmosphere, service and, of course, ingredients and preparation, adding up to a dining experience of extraordinary pleasure. Here’s how Thai Cottage in Regent Square won our hearts. Thai Cottage is, in fact, a storefront, but its recent interior renovation combines rustic and sophisticated elements to create an intimately textured ambience. Leaving behind the usual temptation toward saturated spice tones, the owners have opted instead for an understated, ﬂax-

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

Choo chee tuna

and-black color scheme that uniﬁes the interior and creates a feeling of urbanity. Rattan mats cushion wooden banquettes, and candles in cut-metal holders create complex shadows on the walls, adding to the feeling of intimacy and contrast. The menu presents a manageable variety of appetizers, rice and noodle dishes, curries and “Cottage Specialties.”

THAI COTTAGE

1109 S. Braddock Ave., Regent Square. 412-241-8424 HOURS: Sun.-Thu. 11:30 A.M.-9:30 P.M.; Fri.-Sat. 11:30 A.M.-10 P.M. PRICES: Appetizers, soups and salad $3.50-9.50; entrees $10.50-16.50 LIQUOR: BYOB

CP APPROVED If you’ve gone out for Thai food before, there’s very little here to challenge your notions of what this cuisine is, or could be. Yet nearly everything we tried tasted like the perfect embodiment of the best of Thai: complexly textured, with ﬂavors

balanced gloriously among sweet, salty and brightly tangy notes. The grilled-eggplant salad was a case in point. Pliant sliced eggplant, fresh from the grill, was hot against cold, crisp greens, and set off by a scoop of browned, ground chicken and whole shrimp, more tender than meaty-ﬁrm. Tomatoes — surprisingly palatable for the dead of winter — added countering astringency to this equation; red onion and scallion brought different levels of pungency and zing; cilantro provided aromatic top notes; and an utterly addictive chili-lime dressing brightened every bite. A “Cottage combo” of crispy spring rolls, chicken satay and pork dumpling showcased the kitchen’s prowess with these most stereotypical of Asian-restaurant appetizers. The spring rolls were ultracrispy outside with savory chicken ﬁlling, accentuated by crunchy julienned vegetables within; the chicken in the satay was exceptionally tender; and the shumai style dumplings were plump, juicy and studded

with crunchy water chestnuts. We also got an order of fresh rolls, tightly packed cylinders of vermicelli, vegetables, herbs and shrimp. Sliced sushi-style, these were well-balanced and delicious, although we felt that heavier emphasis on the herbs would have created a more lasting impression. A cup of spicy-sour tom yum soup was exceptional, with plenty of whole ingredients left in the broth for unusual substance. We also ordered an entrée sized bowl of tom kha soup; its coconut-milk base made it mild and creamy, while generous portions of minced pork, bok choy, aromatic herbs and noodles made it a meal. A stir-fried noodle dish, see ew, featured a well-balanced combination of broccoli, scrambled egg and meat (we chose chicken) in a sweet black-soy sauce.

Thai Cottage partners Susan Namsai, Rungnapa Kahnchalee and Jeremy Schillinger

Undecided about which curry to order, Angelique took our server’s advice and went with the pumpkin. It was good advice: The thick curry, packed with layers of flavor, was ladled over tender-firm chunks of Asian pumpkin, slices of white chicken meat and accentuated by peppery basil. Crab fried rice, a Cottage specialty, was touted on the sandwich board out front, so we were a bit surprised it appeared pretty much a standard stir-fry with peas, carrots and onions. But the depth of flavor was far from standard. It was also spicier than a typical stir-fry, and the plenteous lumps of crab improved every bite. Only a wedge of lime would have vastly improved this wonderful dish. Our experience of such delightful food was made even lovelier by the friendly, even service. Our server, the only one on duty, was as attentive at the end of our meal, when the restaurant was almost full, as she was at the beginning, when ours was her only table. Plates were brought and removed with a smile and impeccable timing. While the menu consists of dishes available at almost any Thai establishment, Thai Cottage distinguishes itself with its appealing ambience, excellent service and superb renditions of classic Thai cuisine. INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

NEWS

On the RoCKs

{BY HAL B. KLEIN}

SLO GIN … AND WHISKEY … AND WINE “Special Liquor Order” system expands state-store offerings It’s easy to gripe about the state’s monopoly on wine and spirits. Maybe even too easy, at least where the selection is concerned. “The biggest misconception people have [of the system] is that when they go to the state store, they think that’s all that’s available in the state of Pennsylvania,” says Rob McCaughey, of Dreadnought Wines in the Strip. In fact, McCaughey says, “There is so much available in this state.” You just have to know how to ask for it. That’s where the state’s Special Liquor Order, or SLO, comes in. SLO products are not found in state stores; instead, they’re listed on the finewine andgoodspirits.com site and shipped directly by the state’s 65-plus distributors, including Dreadnought Wines. Once you’ve verified the wine or spirit is available, says Dreadnought co-owner Deb Mortillaro, “You place the order [in person at a state store or by calling 800-332-7522], you put a deposit down, the product comes, you pay the rest, and then you take it home.” Orders can be delivered in as little as a few days, though sometimes they can take over a month. Because distributors can’t add the cost of shipping to the listed price per bottle, they often require minimum purchases — ranging from a single bottle up to a full case, depending on the label — for SLO shipments. There are other catches, too. The PLCB’s website isn’t very intuitive; misspell a desired bottle by even a letter and you’ll have no results. “It would be nice if it were more user-friendly,” says Mortillaro. One way to improve the system, she says, would be to let customers know it exists. Instead of airing ads “telling you that you can come get booze for your Super Bowl party,” Mortillaro says, “they should advertise the expanded products that were available.” Even so, SLO gives you a chance to make your own choices. Sometimes it’s OK to ignore what the “Chairman” selects for you.

THERE ARE A LOT OF CHOICES AVAILABLE — IF YOU KNOW HOW TO ASK.

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Dreadnought Wines. 2013 Penn Ave., Strip District. 800-565-2816 or www.dreadnoughtwines.com

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THE FOLLOWING DINING LISTINGS ARE RESTAURANTS RECOMMENDED BY CITY PAPER FOOD CRITICS

DINING LISTINGS KEY

J = Cheap K = Night Out L = Splurge E = Alcohol Served F = BYOB

savor authentic flavors from oaxaca & mexico city at the mexican underground In the strip

Famo us , s BBQ R i b & Br i s k e t a n ri Ve ge t a ie s! t Sp e c i a l

ERS E B T F A R 40 C N TAP! O NS CREE S V T G I B 8 S FOR SPORT

24th & E. Carson Street “In The South Side”

412.390.1111 2031 PENN AVE | @CASAREYNAMEX OPEN TUES-SUN | HAPPY HOUR 4-6 PM DAILY WE CATER! CALL FOR INQUIRIES: 412.904.1242

100 Adams Shoppes “Cranberry/Mars”

724-553-5212 doublewidegrill.com

----- HAPPY HOUR -----

HALF OFF DRAFT BEER, SNACKS & DOMESTIC CANS Mon- Fri 4:30 – 6:30pm -----------------------------------------900 Western Ave. NORTH SIDE Open Daily at 11 am 412-224-2163

BenjaminsPgh.com 22

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ALL INDIA. 315 N. Craig St., Oakland. 412-681-6600. With more than 200 items, All India’s menu is both epic and exciting, including novel choices such as Goan coconut shrimp and green jackfruit curry alongside the old denizens, chicken curry and the tandoor. Here, a thali, or combination platter, is a great option for the culinary explorer who wants the experience of multiple tastes. KF AVENUE B. 5501 Centre Ave., Shadyside. 412-683-3663. This intimate corner restaurant has only a brief, seasonal menu, but its offerings are all tantalizing, each combining several pedigreed ingredients. Such selections have included piquillo-pepper lasagna with a different filling in each layer; green-bean and sweet-potato tempura; and fresh pasta topped with beef short ribs, chard and crisped cipollini onions. LF

Reyna Restaurante Mexicano {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} classic Continental cuisine with contemporary inflections. LE

HABITAT. 510 Market St., Downtown. 412-773-8800. Located in the handsome Fairmont Hotel, this restaurant — with a marvelously open kitchen — utilizes local and seasonal ingredients. The emphasis is on the kitchen’s ability to adapt and update traditional dishes from around the world, such www. per pa as tandoori chicken pghcitym .co tacos and rare-tuna-andavocado spring rolls. LE

BAR MARCO. 2216 Penn Ave., Strip District. 412-471-1900. At this former firehouseturned-restaurant, a small but well-curated menu makes a perfect complement to this venue’s wine and cocktail list. The tapas-inspired roster ranges from charcuterie plates and classics, like patatas bravas, to smoked-pork tamales and grilled radicchio and endive salad. KE

FULL LIST ONLINE

BURMA-TOKYO RESTAURANT. 320 Atwood St., Oakland. 412-802-6163. This tiny restaurant run by two siblings offers sushi as well as a selection of cooked dishes from their native Burma and several neighboring countries. Among the intriguing selections: The Burmese shan tribe noodles, with a distinctive, intensely flavored sauce and varied vegetables; and the Kyae oae soup, with rice vermicelli, mustard greens, a variety of meatballs and tofu. JF THE CARLTON. 500 Grant St., Downtown. 412-391-4152. A mainstay of Downtown dining for two decades, The Carlton delivers the hallmarks of fine dining in an atmosphere refreshingly free of attitude or affectation. The menu is neither stodgy nor cutting-edge; while dishes may verge on the decadent — risotto with lobster and brie? — the flavor and ingredient combinations offer a

KAYA. 2000 Smallman St., Strip District. 412-261-6565. Kaya is a local culinary mainstay, offering inventive Caribbean-inspired contemporary cuisine. The menu, much of which is vegetarian, changes frequently. But it remains divided into tropas — tropical tapas — and entrees. KE

Tan Lac Vien {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} KALEIDOSCOPE CAFÉ. 108 43rd St., Lawrenceville. 412683-4004. This intriguing menu refracts contemporary trends in sophisticated casual dining while still offering an atmosphere of

off-the-beaten-path funkiness. While some dishes emphasize unusual juxtapositions of ingredients, such as a lobsterand-white-bean purée alongside fish, or fig in a “rustic marsala sauce,” other dishes are of the moment, with pistachio dust atop duck cannoli or deepfried gnocchi. KF KOUS KOUS CAFÉ. 665 Washington Road, Mount Lebanon. 412-563-5687. This small Moroccan restaurant mostly eschews clichés like kebab and falafel, instead offering sophisticated preparations such as lamb osso bucco and salmon in sharmoula. Worthy starters include harira (meat and lentil soup), eggplant zaalouk (similar to ratatouille) and grilled sardines. KF OLIVES AND PEPPERS. 6052 William Flynn Highway (Route 8), Bakerstown. 724-444-7499. This casual Italian spot that offers pizza, pasta and sandwiches as well as more refined entrees. The meat-and-cheese sandwiches are a forte, with ciabatta “panini” and hoagies options. The lasagna is enormous, its homemade noodles laden with a creamy five-cheese mix and a savory Bolognese sauce with meatballlike chunks of beef. KE PENN AVENUE FISH COMPANY. 2208 Penn Ave., Strip District (412-434-7200) and 308 Forbes Ave., Downtown (412-562-1710). These two ﬁsh restaurants ﬁll the gap between humble lunch counter and snooty steakhouse — modern, funky and moderately priced. Much of the restaurant’s menu is casual fare such as sandwiches, sushi and tacos, with a rotating selection of higherend dishes, particularly at the Downtown location. KF CONTINUES ON PG. 24

Grandma Rose’s CATERING & PASTRY

• Over 50 wines by the glass • Seasonal Cocktails

Happy Hour

M-F 4:30 – 6:30p.m.

412-325-2227

ibizatapaspgh.com

TAPAS & WINE BAR

Valentine’s Weekend

Award Winning Cuisine PRIVATE ROOMS AND GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE

2311 Babcock Blvd, Pittsburgh, PA 15237 412-415-0017

FEBRUARY 14, 15 & 16

Each guest chooses a: Appetizer Soup or Salad Selected Entrées

grandmarosespastryshop.com

WARNING!

LET OUR GOODIES PLEASURE YOU!

412-488-1818

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Adult Adu Ad dADULTCAKERY.COM ult C Cakes akes by Jessica

Make Reservations Soon!

$20.14 MENU

4428 LIBERTY AVE • BLOOMFIELD FREE PARKING across the street in ShurSave lot

412-683-1448 • delsrest.com

2224 E Carson St SOUTHSIDE (at Birmingham Bridge)

$ 5RPDQWLFDO 3UL[ )L[H 0HQX

$YDLODEOH )ULGD\ 6DWXUGD\ (YHQ :LWKRXW 5HVHUYDWLRQV *XDUDQWHHG WR JHW \D VRPH

Pear Salad or Wedding Soup, with Anderson Valley Boont Amber, Founder’s All Day IPA, Seaglass Riesling, or 9 Walks Sauvignon Blanc Bacon-wrapped Filet Mignon, Crab-stuffed Jumbo Shrimp, or Eggplant Lasagne, with Flying Dog Pearl Necklace Oyster Stout, Duvel Belgian Ale, Anderra Cabernet Sauvignon, or Six Degrees Chardonnay A Chocolate Raspberry Pie Southern Tier Choklat, or Shooting Star Red Zinfandel Perrier Jouet Grand Brut champagne available by the bottle.

Shiloh Grill .

123 Shloh Street Mt Washington 412.431.4000

theShilohGrill.com

Don’t worry, for $36pp++ we’ll provide bacon roses and pretend you planned this weeks and weeks in advance and we’ll say, “Right this way, Mr Big,” and make like you’re all over this love thing. NEWS

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Every Day is Valentine’s Day at Cain’s Saloon!

W S u p p oer t L o c al ! Monday 9am-3pm Tuesday-Thursday 9am-6pm Friday 9am-8pm Don’t forget Saturday Brunch 9am-2pm CLOSED SUNDAYS Dine-In or Take-Out

We also cater office parties! Let us do the work... Call us 24 hours in advance@

412-415-0338

538 California Ave. Pittsburgh Pa 15202 Check out www.skinnypetes.com

Events Crab Cake Dinner - $14.99 with Sriracha Remoulade, served with side salad, choice of potato & fresh vegetable of the day.

hAPPen here

Lobster Stuffed Saffron Ravioli - $18.99 9 ravioli served with langostino cream sauce with side salad and garlic bread.

Filet & Crab Cake - $20.99 6oz. ﬁlet mignon and 4oz. crab cake served with side salad, choice of potato and fresh vegetable of the day.

Surf-N-Turf - $21.99 6oz. ﬁlet mignon and lobster tail served with side salad, choice of potato and fresh vegetable of the day.

Twin Lobster Tails - $21.99 two 4oz. lobster tails served with side salad, choice of potato and fresh vegetable of the day.

For directions, hours & more visit us online.

DOWNLOAD THE FREE CP HAPPS APP NOW! OR TEXT “EVENTS” TO 77948

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3239 West Liberty Ave. • Pittsburgh, PA 15216 • 412.561.7444

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

{BY JESSICA SERVER}

BEE MINE Local apiary offers aphrodisiacal honey for Valentine’s Day

SEVICHE. 930 Penn Ave., Downtown. 412-697-3120. This upscale Latin American-style tapas restaurant specializes in citrus-cured fish, while also offering a small selection of Latin-inspired tapas and finger sandwiches. And what better to wash down an empanada or mini taco than a refreshing capirinha cocktail? KE SIX PENN. 146 Sixth Ave., Downtown. 412-566-7366. Open late for the Downtown theater crowd, this cheery restaurant satisfies theater buffs, families and young professionals alike. The seasonal menu offers lively updates on comfort food from lobster mac-n-cheese to braised short ribs. Gourmet burgers and pizzas make for quick meals. Linger for homemade desserts, or stop by after the show. KE TAN LAC VIEN. 2114 Murray Ave., Squirrel Hill. 412-521-8888. This Vietnamese restaurant offers the popular pho and bun entrees, but also less-common dishes. The menu has a section of com tam (“broken rice”) dishes, including some topped with a fried egg; there is also a jellyfish salad with pickled carrot and daikon. Another worthy entrée was banh xeo, savory crepes filled with shrimp, sautéed pork and vegetables, or try the make-yourown summer roll option. FK WINTZELL’S OYSTER HOUSE. 530 E. Bruceton Road, West Mifflin. 412-650-9090. An Alabama seafood chain claims a welcome northern outpost in the Pittsburgh suburbs. The menu is dominated by seafood, with a few steak, burger, and chicken options, prepared in a Southern style — mostly fried, and accompanied by grits, gumbo, hushpuppies and okra. And oysters, naturally, served in a variety of ways. EK YO RITA. 1120 E. Carson St., South Side. 412-904-3557. This venue offers Mexican-inspired cuisine, through a variety of tacos. Inventive fillings might include: beans-and-greens, artichokes or mushrooms, as well as more traditional meats (fish, pork, beef). Combine with a starter, like grits or potatoes, and a craft beer for a full meal. JE

Damiana Rose elixir and chocolate {PHOTO COURTESY OF APOIDEA APIARY}

Make your reservation s now for Valentines Dinner and take advantage of our BYOB!

offMenu

REYNA RESTAURANTE MEXICANO. 2031 Penn Ave., Strip District. 412-904-1242. The city’s oldest Mexican grocery brings a serious, sit-down exploration of moles, rellenos and other mainstays of Mexico’s regional cuisines. There are tacos (albeit Mexican-style), but the more adventurous should check out more fare such as tamal Oaxaqueno (lime-soaked corn dough filled with chicken in Oaxaca mole sauce, wrapped in a banana leaf) or a relleno made with ancho chiles. EK

FOR MANY, Valentine’s Day signifies chocolates, flowers or candlelit dinners. But for Christina Joy Neumann, the holiday inspired an “elixir of aphrodisiac herbs from plants that provide sustenance to a variety of bee species.” A horticulturist, botanical illustrator, architect and beekeeper, Neumann owns and operates apoidea apiary, which takes its name from the Latin name for the bee superfamily. Having recently returned to Pittsburgh to transform her family’s historic Shaler home, she says, “It seemed like a really appropriate place to have a small apiary.” Don’t let the word “small” fool you; apoidea’s hives produced approximately 1,500 pounds of raw honey in the first year. It celebrates its one-year anniversary this Valentine’s Day with an elixir inspired by Central American aphrodisiacs. The Damiana Rose elixir includes black-locust honey infused with damiana leaf, rose, vanilla and chili: Neumann recommends drizzling it on dark chocolate or adding it to cocoa. Apoidea processes small batches of raw, herbalinfused and chili-kissed honeys. Carefully crafted mixes join seasonal fusions: Halloween’s “Hellbroth,” based on the witch’s brew in Macbeth; summery, BBQready “Chipotle Citrus Chili”; and Christmas’ fiery “Santa Spank,” a dark honey mixed with gingerbread spices and chili. The infusion process requires delicacy: Honeys have “vintages,” Neumann explains, and even those similar in color from the same location can vary greatly in flavor. Neumann’s hives thrive, she says, thanks to her organic approach. Her yard, where several hives are kept, is enriched with a black-raspberry bush, fruit trees, a wildlife pond and a native plant garden. Rather than just “churning out honey,” her interest is “in a deeper understanding of what is happening ecologically.” Bees nationwide have fallen prey to mysterious large-scale die-offs called “colony collapses,” which some blame on pesticides. In the face of that threat, Neumann hopes to educate customers about “the necessity of protecting and cultivating healthy sustainable habitats” for bees and other pollinators. From biodegradable gift packaging to reusable bottles, apoidea’s products show careful attention. A Valentine’s Day anniversary seems apt for this small, sweet venture — in which, Neumann says, “There’s just so much love involved.” I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

239 Parker St., Shaler. apoidea-apiary.com

Attention Hockey Fans! FREE EVENT PARKING

*WITH MINIMUM PURCHASE

Park in the U.S. Steel Tower on event nights and have your parking validated by making a minimum purchase! It’s like eating or parking for FREE!

Happy Hour Specials 5-7pm Live Music Every Friday 5pm 600 Grant Street

Downtown Pittsburgh

412-434-0800

www.pghgrille.com

Book your Valentine’s Day reservations today!

Open Fri & Sat at 5PM To review our menu, please visit our website: TheColonyRestaurant.com

For your Dining & Dancing Pleasure: Open Fri & sat nights at 5PM with Live Music starting at 8PM. Visit our website for our entertainment schedule and Happy Hour specials.

Available 7 Days/Week for parties, business meetings, fund raisers. For Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner Contact us at 412.668.0903 for more information on private functions

1928 Cochran Road • Scott Twp, PA 15220

• 412.668.0903 •

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“STUDYING CLASSICAL MUSIC OPENS YOUR MIND ON HOW TO WRITE MUSIC.”

BEAT

{BY SETH PFANNENSCHMIDT}

HARMONY IN THE ’BURB There are plenty of reasons for musicians to know of Steubenville, Ohio, just a 35-minute drive west of Pittsburgh: Dean Martin hailed from there; it’s where the RZA spent youthful summers; and back in the day, Steubenville offered an alternative to Pittsburgh if a musician found himself or herself in the area on a Sunday. (Pennsylvania’s blue laws forbade Sunday alcohol sales). Unfortunately, the ‘Burb of the ‘Burgh has come upon a certain negative notoriety as well. The decline of the steel industry has decimated the local economy, and gang violence has plagued the downtown area, leaving little incentive for local business or real estate to take root. The much-publicized “Steubenville rape case” is yet another harbinger of the decline of what was once a proud, economically and culturally vibrant, blue-collar town. Despite all that bad press, a group of students from the Franciscan University has decided to open a venue for live music in that same cultural void that is downtown Steubenville. “Music does amazing things for people,” says Patrick Walters, one of a handful of students who are spearheading The Harmonium Project, the venue opening on Steubenville’s historic North Fourth Street. Walters seems aware of the potential for the project being viewed as just another move toward gentrification. “We’re not just looking to move the university into downtown; we also want to attract the local population for our shows — to give them an alternative.” The Harmonium Project is still in the legal stage of things setting itself up as a nonprofit, but it will soon be offering shows that appeal to a broad range of audiences, from singer/songwriter nights, to hip hop, dance and rock. The project is also reaching out to national acts who are touring through the area. When asked exactly what the clientele might look like, Walters chuckles and admits that no one really knows — or cares. “We’re interested in truth and goodness,” he says. “Anyone else interested in those things is welcome.”

“MUSIC DOES AMAZING THINGS FOR PEOPLE.”

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

www.facebook.com/theharmoniumproject

Behind the music: San Fermin’s Ellis Ludwig-Leone

{BY NICK KEPPLER}

LEADER OF THE BAND I

F YOU CAUGHT San Fermin at Brillo-

box last October, you might not have noticed Ellis Ludwig-Leone: He stays behind the keyboards. But Ludwig-Leone, 24, is the mastermind of San Fermin. Shortly after graduating from Yale, he recruited several friends to create the musically and emotionally multi-layered baroque pop album that became the quasi-band’s debut, one that made a slew of best-of-2013 lists. A geek blossoming into a rock star, LudwigLeone chatted with City Paper before his return to Pittsburgh to play The Warhol. WHAT SET YOU ON THE PATH TO PURSUE MUSIC? We always had a lot of Beatles albums lying around when I was a kid. I remember being really impressed by Abbey Road, about how all the songs on the second side seemed to fold into and out of each other. … Paul Simon’s Graceland was another for-

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

mative record. He seemed to be saying big things in these bite-sized songs. I was always more focused on basketball in high school. My parents also took me to learn classical piano at this university in Newport, R.I. They were both [visual] art professors, and I was steeped in that tradition that if you are going to

SAN FERMIN WITH SON LUX

8 p.m. Tue., Feb. 18. The Andy Warhol Museum, 117 Sandusky St., North Side. $15. 412-237-8300 or www.warhol.org

learn something, you should know the history of it and learn it in a classical way. I sort of kept that secret from my friends. I didn’t think about it seriously until the end of high school, when I went to a summer camp at the [Berklee College of

Music] where I met Allen [Tate], who is currently our lead singer. He was also a basketball player and we really got along. It was a very formative relationship because it helped me indulge this thing I kept secret. WHY KEEP IT A SECRET? Well, it wasn’t so much of a secret as something I never talked about. It was never the thing when I was in high school. It was this procedure every Thursday. We would drive an hour away and I would learn these long Russian pieces. It wouldn’t have awarded me any cool points. WHAT WAS IT LIKE STUDYING MUSIC AT YALE? They had a really good program. I had my own classical ensemble when I was there. I wrote the music and we would perform the pieces, about 10 or 12 of us. That was CONTINUES ON PG. 28

LEADER OF THE BAND, CONTINUED FROM PG. 26

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the prototype for this band in some ways. … Studying classical music and that great repertoire opens your mind on how to write music, about how something grand can be built from these tiny cells, and the music builds up as the cells grow and change. THIS IS A CONCEPT ALBUM WHERE THE MALE- AND FEMALE-SUNG SONGS ARE RESPONDING TO EACH OTHER. WHY THAT APPROACH? As someone who doesn’t sing, I knew I would be writing for Allen. As I was writing, I wanted a voice to push back against what this guy is saying. It was super-liberating to be writing for characters, because they could say anything. Neither was me or had to express what I was feeling. I could just push one to an extreme and the other would come back as an elastic response. In that song “Renaissance,” the male character is so melodramatic. He’s almost suicidal, and on the next song the female character says something like “Your melodrama is embarrassing for me.” I love to build these things up and then cut them off at the knee.

“TOURING HAS TURNED THIS FROM A SOLO PROJECT WITH SOME GUESTS INTO A REAL BAND.”

YOU ALSO HAVE A BIG, MULTILAYERED SOUND. HOW DO RECREATE THAT LIVE? HOW BIG IS YOUR TOURING BAND NOW? We have eight people n ow. To u r in g has turned this from a solo project with some guests into a real band. It’s more about the performances than the songs now. … Eight performers on stage is a lot — fewer than the 22 who were on the record, but still a lot of lushness comes through. YOUR RECORD CAME OUT OF NOWHERE IN SEPTEMBER AND THEN IT WAS ON ALL OF THESE YEAR-END BEST-OF LISTS. DOES IT FEEL LIKE YOUR LIFE IS CHANGING? I go back and forth on that. I just get up, get in the van and drive for 10 hours and play the show, and that keeps you grounded. When we were in L.A. and did a show at the Museum of Natural History with an orchestra — that felt big. … We just had a show at the Music Hall of Williamsburg. New York is where I live and where all my friends are, and I didn’t even have to ask them to get tickets. By the time they were looking, they were all sold out, so that was cool. INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

NEW RELEASES {BY ANDY MULKERIN}

THE ROCK-RUN RETREAT THE ROCK-RUN RETREAT (SELF-RELEASED)

For a local band to release a vinyl album is generally a pretty big deal. For a local band to release a gatefold double-LP is a drop-the-mic-and-walk-away moment. The Rock-Run Retreat presents 18 tracks of Americana country-rock here, often recalling The Band: steel guitars, highand-low vocal harmonies, catchy tunes. Worth a listen. THE ROCK-RUN RETREAT LP RELEASE with MISS TESS. 9 p.m. Sat., Feb. 15. Howlers Coyote Café, 4509 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $10. 412-682-0320

SON OF BITCH VENUS AND THE CAT (SELF-RELEASED)

A bit of bluegrass, a bit of goth-country, a bit of psychobilly, wrapped up in a 14-track album from this local five-piece. Some of these tunes at times sound like they’re straight out of the Alan Lomax archives, which I suspect is the goal. Group vocals and accordions and the like make this one simultaneously fun and creepy — nice work. SON OF BITCH. Part of LODOSIS BEHAVIOR: REFLECTIONS ON LOVE, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS. 9 p.m. Fri., Feb. 14. Hambone’s, 4207 Butler St., Lawrenceville. $5. 412-681-4318

TASTES LIKE CHICKEN STROKE THE COCK (SELF-RELEASED)

A bunch of well-produced, nearly universally dirty jokes set to music in this Freudian mess. Does the world need another joke band? Should you ever put two tracks that start with toiletflush samples in direct succession on an album? How many dick-related double-entendres can one man come up with, and is he obligated to share them with the world once he has? There’s no accounting for taste. AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

An Evening of Music FEBRUARY 22

Charlie & The Fox Trots w/Wolf Critton MARCH 7

Bronsen Euard w/Heidi Jacobs

CARNEGIE MELLON SCHOOL OF MUSIC 2013 –14 CONCERT SERIES

CMU Philharmonic & Choirs Andrés Cárdenes, Artistic Director Gerard Schwarz, guest conductor

MARCH 22

Paul Luc

Getting along: Weeknight

POST-PUNK PAIR {BY IAN THOMAS} “PRODUCTION DUO” has become one of

those terms in the music press that is meant to imply everything but, in most cases, gets at nothing at all. For every Daft Punk or Air that the term hints at, it can describe a hundred pairs of beat-makers who collaborate when it suits them, but may have never even met in person. As a descriptor for artists, collaborating on art, “production duo” is non-committal, businesslike. Weeknight, the New York act that stakes its claim at the intersection of electronic dance music and post-punk, may bill itself as a “production duo,” but the pair is much more. Like the best solo artist, the two possess a singularity of vision. And they can match the creative heft of a band of any number. And the members of Weeknight, who go by their first names only — Holly and Andy — are also a couple. The risk in their collaboration is not merely professional, but emotional. It’s a collaboration that yields results that are chilling in their intimacy, as on Weeknight’s years-in-the-making debut, Post-Everything. Prone to keys that shimmer and guitars that ring out just in time to release the tension built by a thick percussive foundation, the strength of Weeknight is in its disciplined deliberation. It’s a sound in which everything arrives just in time. Holly and Andy bring the same deliberation to every move they make as Weeknight, such as deciding when they were ready to gig. “We had spent so much time fleshing out exactly how we were going to do this,” Andy says, “before we played our first live show, we were very polished.”

The couple quickly learned to trust in the division of labor that presented itself early in the collaboration. “Natural orders just popped up,” Andy says. “In the very beginning, I was writing a lot of songs on an acoustic guitar.” As the collaboration progressed, “Holly emerged pretty quickly as being able to arrange very well, and I got pretty good at making the beats.” In keeping with this staid approach, Holly and Andy intuited that patience, reevaluation and aggressive editing would go a long way toward producing the polished results they were after. “It was always important, since we started the writing process, that we had time to step away from the music for a little bit,” says Holly. “So that when we came back to it, it would be fresh and new in our ears and we could decide whether it was something we would keep doing.”

Presented By abkmusic.com/coh-events thecenterofharmony.com/

Holst’s The Planets Brahms’ Schicksalslied Ginastera’s Harp Concerto Thursday, February 20, 8pm Carnegie Music Hall, Oakland

events/upcoming/

$5 general admission

Buy presale and save $$$ 253 Mercer St., Harmony, PA 16037

music.cmu.edu

724-400-6044

WEEKNIGHT

WITH NIC LAWLESS, ARCADE HIGH

9 p.m. Sun., Feb. 16. Brillobox, 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomﬁeld. $8. 412-621-4900 or www.brillobox.net

Creatively and otherwise, Weeknight works because of the pair’s ability to communicate effectively and keep the dueling aspects of the relationship in proper context. “You have to focus your time, otherwise I don’t think the relationship aspect would ever work,” Andy says. “There has to be time set aside to say, ‘Let’s go out in the daylight now and we’re not going to talk about music at all.’ People get tense when they work.” “If [Holly] managed to take personally everything that I said, or if I got stressed out about some song we were working on, this would totally never work.” I N F O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

NEWS

M A I N F E AT U R E

TA S T E

MUSIC

SCREEN

ARTS

EVENTS

CLASSIFIEDS

F R I D AY

- F E B R U A RY 21

TOAST GREAT

UNITE FOR THE 32

1311 17th Street Café 8th Avenue Pub 941 Saloon 99 Bottles Al’s Cafe Albert’s Lounge All Star Sports Bar Altman’s Tavern Angelia’s Pizza Apple Inn Archie’s August Henry’s Ava Lounge Avi’s Tavern B&J Coney Island B&S Saloon Back Door Tavern Backstage Bar at Theater Square Badges Bar and Grill Bado’s Pizza Grill and Ale House Bar 48 & Grille Bar Louie - Station Square Bar Louie - Waterfront The Barking Shark Saloon Barney’s Bar and Grille The Beer Market Beer Nutz Bottle Shoppe Beermuda Bella Luna Trattoria Bella Notte Belmont II Bigham Tavern Billy’s Roadhouse Birmingham Bridge Tavern The Black Horse Trail Pub and Grille The Black & Gold Grill Blair’s Tavern Blind Pig Saloon Bloomfield Bridge Tavern Blue Blue Dust Blue Line Grille Blue Moon Boomerang’s Bar & Grill Bootleggers The Boston Waterfront Boulevard II Boulevard Pub & Kitchen - Southpointe Boulevard Restaurant and Bar - Shaler Boulevard Restaurant of Delmont Boulevard Restaurant of Greensburg Braddock’s Bar @ Renaissance Hotel Brady’s Run Grille The Branding Iron Breakers Lounge Brewski’s Brewstone Beer Co. BRGR - Cranberry BRGR - East Liberty The Brick House Bronze Hood Brothers Grimm The Brown Hotel Bud Murphy’s Bulldog Pub BW3 - Monroeville

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

BW3 - Route 8 BW3 - Cranberry BW3 - Greensburg BW3 - Robinson BW3 - West Mifflin BZ’s Bar and Grill Cadillac Ranch Cafe Milano Cafe Supreme Cain’s Saloon Cal’s Cantina Caliente Pizza & Draft House Callaghan’s Cappy’s Cafe Carl’s Tavern Carmella’s Plates & Pints Carnivores Carson City Saloon Casey’s Draft House Castle Tavern Castle Tavern South Cattivo CC’s Café Cenci’s Chalkboard Café Chelsea Grille Churchill Haus Cioppino Claddagh Irish Pub Clark Bar & Grill The Clubhouse Coach’s Bottleshop Cole’s Pub The Coney Corner Café Cornerstone Restaurant The Country Inn Courthouse Tavern The Crane Room Cupkas Café 2 D’s Loft Dad’s Pub & Grub Del’s Bar & Restaurant Diamond Market DiMarco’s Bistro & Cantina Dingbats Do Drop Inn Domenico’s Dorido’s Restaurant Double D’s Saloon Doubleday’s Double Wide Grill - Cranberry Double Wide Grill - South Side Downey’s House Drinks Bar Duke’s Upper Deck Café - Homestead Duke’s Station - Bethel Park Dunning’s Grill E-Town Bar & Grille Eagles - Indiana Eagles - Latrobe Easy Street Edward’s Restaurant & Lounge Eleven Fan Club Fanattics Fat Tommy’s Pizzeria The Fieldhouse

Finn McCool’s Flinn’s Pub Fox and Hound Fox Chapel Yacht Club Fred’s Divot Front Door Tavern Garage Door Saloon Gateway Grill Gators Grille Gene’s Place Geo’s Lounge Getaway Cafe Gil’s Cafe Ginger Hill Tavern Gooski’s Gorman’s Pub The Grand Valley Inn Grandview Saloon The Grange at Cactus Jacks Grille 51 The Grille on Seventh The Grotto Bar & Grille Ground Round Gunny’s Lounge H.B. Culpeppers Hambone’s Hard Rock Café Harks Place Harvey Wilner’s The Headkeeper Hemingway’s Cafe The Highland Bar Hillview Tavern Hoffstot’s Cafe Monaco The Hop House - Crafton The Hop House - Ross Hough’s Houlihan’s - Station Square Houlihan’s - Cranberry Houlihans - Mt. Lebanon Howler’s Coyote Cafe The Hula Bar Hutch’s Tap Room Hyde Park Images Industry Public House The Inn Ironwood Grill Italian Village Pizza - Fox Chapel J.Clark’s Jack’s Bar Jackson’s Southpointe Jailhouse Saloon Jamison’s J. Cole’s Inn Jerome Bettis Grille 36 Johnny’s Wife’s Place Johnny’s Wife’s Place II J. Paul’s Kelly’s Bar & Lounge Kelly’s Irish Pub Kendrew’s Lounge The Korner Pub Lagerheads Lanigan’s Irish Pub Latitude 40 Le Mardi Gras Legacy Lanes Lenape Golf Resort Leo’s Pub & Grille Level 20 Lounge Ligonier Country Inn The Ligonier Tavern

Local Bar + Kitchen Log Cabin Inn Lot 17 Luccia Shea’s Luciano’s - Cranberry Luke Wholey’s Wild Alaskan Grill Luma Restaurant Lyndora Hotel Mahoney’s Restaurant and Lounge The Main Event Sports Bar & Grill Main St. Brew House Mama Rosa’s The Map Room Mario’s East Side Saloon Mario’s South Side Saloon Marriot - City Center Max & Erma’s - Cranberry Max & Erma’s - Gibsonia Max & Erma’s - Greentree Max & Erma’s - McMurray Max & Erma’s - Washington Max & Erma’s - Fox Chapel Max & Erma’s - Monroeville Max & Erma’s - Robinson McArdle’s Pub McFadden’s Restaurant and Saloon McGrogan’s Taproom McMinn’s Pub & Grille Mel’s Pizzeria Middle Road Inn The Mighty Oak Barrel Mike & Tony’s Gyros South Side Mitchell’s Tavern Mitchell’s Fish Market The Modern Cafe Mogie’s Irish Pub Mohan’s Restaurant Monroe hotel Monte Cello’s - Cranberry Monte Cello’s - Ross Monte Cello’s - Wexford Moondog’s Moonlite Café Mr. Big’s Sports Grill & Tap Room Mr. Mike’s Sports Pub & Pizza Mr. Toads Mullaney’s Harp & Fiddle Mullen’s Bar & Grill Mulligan’s Sports Bar Murph’s Pub Murphy’s Taproom Nemacolin Resort - The Tavern Bar Nino’s Restaurant Nite Courts NOLA on the Square North Park Lounge and Bamboo Bar NPL Original Oakmont Tavern Olive or Twist Omni William Penn On Deck Bar & Grill Original Fish Market Paci’s Lounge Pals Club Panther Hollow Inn

Paradise Pub Park Place Pub The Parkwood Inn Patrick’s Pub The Penn Monroe Pennsbury Pub & Grille Pepperwood Grille Perrytowne Drafthouse Peter’s Pub The Pine Restaurant Piper’s Pub Pittsburgh Bottleshop Cafe Pittsburgh Steak Co. Pizza Daddy’s Pizza Roma - Sewickley Playmakers Sports Bar Pleasure Bar The Point Grill Pope’s Place Poppy’s Bistro & Pub Porky’s Plain Old Bar The Pour House Primanti’s - Cranberry Primanti’s - Mt. Lebanon Primanti’s - South Side The Pub at Tonidale Pub in the Park Pugliano’s Italian Grill Quaker Steak & Lube - Cranberry Quaker Steak & Lube - Robinson Quaker Steak & Lube - Pleasant Hills Rachel’s Roadhouse Ramada Hotel - Greensburg Redbeard’s on Sixth Redd Dawgs Remedy The Rialto Cafe Rick’s Sports Bar & Grill Riley’s Pour House Rivers Casino The Rivers Club Road Runners Lounge Rochester Inn Rock-A-Fellas Sports Grille Rock Ann Haven Rockefeller’s Grille Roland’s Seafood Grill Roman Bistro Rook’s Eastside Saloon Round Corner Cantina Rumerz Sports Bar & Grill Runway Sports Bar The Rusty Dory Pub Ryan’s Pub St. James Place Tavern The Saloon of Mt. Lebanon Sal’s Ristorante & Bar Salt of the Earth Saltino’s River House Cafe Sam’s Tavern in the Wall Sammy’s Famous Corned Beef - Liberty Avenue Sammy’s Famous Corned Beef - Forbes Avenue Scarpaci’s Saloon Sciulli’s Pizza Señor Frogs Shady Grove Shakespeare’s Restaurant

Shale’s Cafe Sharky’s Cafe Sharp Edge - Crafton Sharp Edge - Downtown Sharp Edge - Friendship Sharp Edge - McMurray Sharp Edge - Sewickley Shenanigan’s Bar & Grille Shootin’ Bull Tavern Sidelines Bar & Grille - Millvale Sidelines Beer House - Sewickley Sieb’s Pub Silky’s Crows Nest Silky’s Pub - Bloomfield Silky’s Pub - Squirrel Hill Smartie Arties @ Fat Zachel’s The Smiling Moose Smokin’ Joes SoHo Soldiers & Sailors Someone Else’s Bar Somma Pizza South Aiken Bar and Grill South Park Club House Spaghetti Warehouse The Sports Grille - Cranberry Squirrel Hill Sports Bar Stack’d Stack’d 2 Starwood Rib & Steakhouse Steel City Steakhouse Stinky’s Bar and Grill Sunny Jim’s Tavern Talerico’s Bar and Grill Tavern 245 Ten Penny Tessaro’s Three Rivers Bar & Grill Thunderbird Cafe Tilted Kilt - North Shore Tilted Kilt - Robinson Tinitique Cafe & Tavern TJ’s Sports Lounge TJ’s Hideaway Todds by the Bridge Tolerico’s Tonic Bar & Grill The Touchdown Club The Tower Lounge Trio Lounge The Tuscan Tavern Twisted Jimmy’s Ugly Dog Saloon The Union Grill Villa Southside The Village Idiot Village Tavern & Trattoria Viola’s Walker’s Bar & Grill Walnut Grill - Fox Chapel Walnut Grill - Wexford Walnut Grill - Collier Walnut Grill - Mt. Lebanon The Washington Furnace Inn Water Works Pub Wexford Ale House White Eagle White Hawk Cafe The Wicked Googly William Penn Tavern Wolfendales Woodpeckers Pub & Grub Wooly Bully’s Wyndham Grand Wyndham Hotel - Oakland Zooky’s Sports Tavern

NEWS

M A I N F E AT U R E

TA S T E

MUSIC

SCREEN

ARTS

EVENTS

CLASSIFIEDS

SUMMER SPECIALS AT HEINZ HALL ON SALE NOW!

s d l o f n e b WITH THE

CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 31

SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. Elite Show Band. Washington. SMILING MOOSE. Camp Element. South Side. 412-431-4668. THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Beagle Brothers, Elliott Sussman, Black Hand Night. Rock & Romance IV. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

SUN 16

BRILLOBOX. Weeknight, Nic Lawless, Arcade High. Bloomﬁeld. 412-621-4900. CLUB CAFE. Great Ancient Trees, Fingers, Southside American. South Side. 412-431-4950. JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. The Jaggerz. CD release party. Warrendale. 724-799-8333. NOLA ON THE SQUARE. Slipped Disc. Downtown. 412-471-9100.

MON 17

ALTAR BAR. The Pretty Reckless. Strip District. 412-263-2877. GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Junior Astronomers, It Looks Sad, William Forrest Jr., Ferdinand The Bull. Garﬁeld. 412-361-2262.

.M. P 0 3 : 7 e 17, n u J , y Tuesda

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side. 412-381-1330.

SAT 15

DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side. 412-431-8800. THE NEW AMSTERDAM. Tracksploitation. Lawrenceville. 412-904-2915. PUB I.G. Love & Light. w/ Spankalicious. Streetwise Saturdays. w/ Ro & Bamboo. Oakland. 707-480-8208. REMEDY. Push It! DJ Huck Finn, DJ Kelly Fasterchild. Lawrenceville. 412-781-6771. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. South Side. 412-431-2825. S BAR. Pete Butta. South Side. 412-481-7227.

SUN 16

PUB I.G. Uncle Ray’s All Star Game. Oakland. 707-480-8208. SMILING MOOSE. Electric Sundays. w/ ServersDown & Electric Type. South Side. 412-431-4668.

TUE 18

CARHOPS’ SUB SHOP. Train Wreck Tuesdays. Open decks for new DJs. Strip District. 707-480-8208. ANDY WARHOL PUB I.G. Two-step ww. r w MUSEUM. San Fermin, Tuesdays. UK Garage. pape pghcitym Son Lux. North Side. Oakland. 707-480-8208. .co 412-237-8300. SMILING MOOSE. CLUB CAFE. American EDMOOSE, 5x5. Electronic Babies, The Good Seed, Willis Tree. dance music. South Side. South Side. 412-431-4950. 412-431-4668. REX THEATER. Paper Diamond, LOUDPVK, Branchez. South Side. 412-381-6811. THE NEW AMSTERDAM. DJ SMI. SMILING MOOSE. Cumulus Dave Lawrenceville. 412-904-2915. Hause. South Side. 412-431-4668. SPOON. Spoon Fed. Hump day chill. House music. aDesusParty. East Liberty. 412-362-6001. BRILLOBOX. Those Darlins, Diarrhea Planet, Dumplings. Bloomﬁeld. 412-621-4900. BYHAM THEATER. All You ELSIE H. HILLMAN Need Is Love: A Beatles Tribute. AUDITORIUM. J’Aira Pryor, Leslie Downtown. 412-456-6666. “Ezra” Smith, Calvin Stemley, CLUB CAFE. Nick Waterhouse. Hakim Rasheed. R&B tribute South Side. 412-431-4950. hosted by Deidre Lesesne. THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Tropidelic, Hill District. 412-371-3412. Stationery Pebbles. Lawrenceville. 412-381-6811.

TUE 18

FULL LIST ONLINE

WED 19

W DV E PR ESENTS THE

WED 19

HIP HOP/R&B

per for ming windbor ne’s

THU 13

DJS THU 13

BELVEDERE’S. Neon w/ DJ hatesyou. 80s Night. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. CLUB TABOO. DJ Matt & Gangsta Shak. Homewood. 412-969-0260. PARK HOUSE. Jx4. North Side. 412-224-2273. PUB I.G. Study Break. House, break, techno, more. Oakland. 707-480-8208.

FRI 14 MEDIA SPONSORS

June 24, 7:30 P.M.

412.392.4900 or pittsburghsymphony.org 34

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat Friday’s Reggae w/ VYBZ Machine. East Liberty. 412-362-1250. ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582. PUB I.G. Bass Mint Fridays. w/ Get Nasty. Oakland. 707-480-8208. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. South Side. 412-431-2825.

FRI 14

HARD ROCK CAFE. Lyndsey Smith & Soul Distribution, Jess Sides Lady M & the New Direction Band, Romeo Harp. Sweet Note Entertainment Heart & Soul V-Day Showcase. Station Square. 412-223-7634.

BLUES THU 13

SLOPPY JOE’S. Wil E. Tri & the Bluescasters. Mt. Washington. 412-381-4300.

FRI 14

LARGE HOTEL. Bobby Hawkins Back Alley Blues. Clairton. 724-384-9950. MOONDOG’S. Miss Freddye. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. THE R BAR. The Randall Troy Band. Dormont. 412-942-0882. SPEAL’S TAVERN. Blues Open Mic w/ Tom Bielak. 724-433-1322.

SAT 15

ELWOOD’S PUB. Ms. Freddye’s Home Cookin’. 724-265-1181. PUZZLER’S. Bobby Hawkins Back Alley Blues. McKeesport. WHEELHOUSE AT THE RIVERS CASINO. The Jimmy Adler Band. North Side. 412-231-7777.

JAZZ THU 13

ANDYS. Joe Negri. Downtown. 412-773-8884. CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY. The Boilermaker Jazz Band. Rangos Ballroom. Oakland. 412-268-2000. CJ’S. Roger Humphries & The RH Factor. Strip District. 412-642-2377. LITTLE E’S. Jessica Lee & Friends. Entrepreneurial Thursdays. Downtown. 412-392-2217. THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Ethnic Heritage Ensemble. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

FRI 14

ANDYS. Dane Vannatter. Downtown. 412-773-8884. BAR ANTONIO. Eric Johnson, Dan Wasson. Canonsburg. 724-743-5900. CHRISTINE FRECHARD GALLERY. Hill Jordan & Slide Worldwide. Squirrel Hill. 412-758-7235. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Maureen Budway, Kathy Connor, Carolyn Perteete, Spanky Wilson, The Steve Rudolph Trio. North Side. 412-904-3335. LITTLE E’S. Freddie Pugh & Friends. Downtown. 412-392-2217. NOLA ON THE SQUARE. The Neon Swing X-Perience. Downtown. 412-471-9100.

SAT 15

ANDYS. Tania Grubbs. Downtown. 412-773-8884. CHRISTINE FRECHARD GALLERY. Hill Jordan & Slide Worldwide. Squirrel Hill. 412-758-7235. CJ’S. Hubb’s Groove The Tony Campbell Saturday Jazz Jam Session. Strip District. 412-642-2377. CLUB COLONY. Judi Figel. Scott. 412-668-0903. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. James Street’s Valentine All-Stars. North Side. 412-904-3335. LITTLE E’S. The Eddie Brookshire Quartet. Downtown. 412-392-2217. MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. Anat Cohen, Karrin Allyson, Randy Brecker, Mark Whitﬁeld, Larry Grenadier, Clarence Penn & Bruce Barth. Newport Jazz Festival: NOW 60. North Side. 412-322-1773. NOLA ON THE SQUARE. Dan Bubien. Downtown. 412-471-9100. SPEAL’S TAVERN. Vince Agwada. 724-433-1322.

SUN 16 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Marty Ashby Quintet. North Side. 412-904-3335. OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Frank Cunimondo. Downtown. 412-553-5235.

EARLY WARNINGS {PHOTO COURTESY OF DANNY CLINCH}

Bruce Springsteen

CIGARETTES

FRI 14 INDIAN COMMUNITY CENTER. Kavita Iyengar, Abhijeet Joshi. Carnegie. 412-278-5058.

SAT 15

DOBRA TEA. Tom Moran & Friends. Squirrel Hill. 412-449-9833.

TUE 18 MOUNT LEBANON PUBLIC LIBRARY. Klezlectic. Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

COUNTRY SAT 15

MOONDOG’S. Boot Davis. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. ROCHESTER INN HARDWOOD GRILLE. Steeltown. Ross. 412-364-8166.

WED 19 {FRI., APRIL 18}

William Fitzsimmons Rex Theater, South Side

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Abby Abbondanza. Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

CLASSICAL

{TUE., APRIL 22}

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

THU 13

Consol Energy Center, Uptown

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. East Liberty Presbyterian Church, East Liberty. 412-441-3800 x 11.

{SUN., MAY 25}

FRI 14

Ingrid Michaelson Stage AE, North Side SONOMA GRILLE. Eric Susoeff. Downtown. 412-697-1336.

MON 17 JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Balcony Big Band. Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

TUE 18

ANDYS. Ken Karsh. Downtown. 412-773-8884. BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Kenia. Downtown. 412-456-6666. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Jazz Jam Session. North Side. 412-904-3335. TENDER BAR + KITCHEN. Tom Roberts. Lawrenceville. 412-402-9522. THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Space Exchange Series w/ Chris Parker 3. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

WED 19

ANDYS. Lisa Hindmarsh. Downtown. 412-773-8884. WILLIAM PITT UNION. Vladimir Mollov, John Marcinizyn, Susanne Ortner-Roberts. Oakland. 412-648-7814.

ACOUSTIC THU 13

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Marino Erwin. Robinson. 412-489-5631. MOONDOG’S. Cherylann Hawk & The Live to Love Band. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. SEVICHE. Jason Kendall & Jim Graff. Downtown. 412-697-3120.

NEWS

SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. Tony Janﬂone Jr. Washington.

BACH CHOIR OF PITTSBURGH. A Mass Affair – French Kiss First Presbyterian Church, Downtown. 1-888-718-4253.

SAT 15

ELWOOD’S PUB. Martin The Troubadour. 724-265-1181. RIPEPI WINERY & VINEYARD. Scott & Rosanna. 724-292-8351. THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Blue Moon Soup. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

INGRID MATTHEWS & BYRON SCHENKMAN. The Bach Standard. Synod Hall, Oakland. 412-361-2048. LOVE IS IN THE AIR: A VALENTINE’S POPS CELEBRATION W/ THE PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY. Scottish Rite Cathedral, New Castle. 412-392-4900.

SAT 15

SUN 16

FRI 14

BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Tim Menees, Peter King. Downtown. 412-325-6766. OLIVE OR TWIST. The Vagrants. Downtown. 412-255-0525.

SUN 16 FRIENDSHIP HOUSE CONCERTS. Harpeth Rising. Email friendshiphouseconcerts@ gmail.com for an invitation & location information. Friendship. 530-848-3871.

FRI 14

ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Wednesdays. North Side. 412-321-1834. PARK HOUSE. Bluegrass Jam w/ The Shelf Life String Band. North Side. 412-224-2273.

SAT 15

THU 13 HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Standing Wave, Moran/Masudi. Bloomﬁeld. 412-682-0320.

M A I N F E AT U R E

visit www.sfntc.com

OTHER MUSIC

WED 19

WORLD

For more information on our organic growing programs,

BACH CHOIR OF PITTSBURGH. A Mass Affair – French Kiss First Presbyterian Church, Downtown. 1-888-718-4253. BEETHOVEN ON THE BLUFF IV: VIOLIN/CELLO II. PNC Recital Hall, Duquesne Univ., Uptown. 412-396-6080. JOHN SCOTT, ORGANIST. St. Paul Cathedral, Oakland. 412-242-2787.

CLUB COLONY. The Soiree Band. Scott. 412-668-0903. SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. Sputzy & Soul Providers. Washington. TJ’S HIDEAWAY. The Earth Quakers. 724-789-7858.

SUN 16

HEINZ CHAPEL. University of Pittsburgh Handbell Ensemble. Oakland. 412-624-4157.

TA S T E

MUSIC

SCREEN

ARTS

EVENTS

CLASSIFIEDS

What to do

IN PITTSBURGH

February 12 - 18 Teddy Geiger

HARD ROCK CAFE Station Square. 412-481-ROCK. Limited all ages. Tickets: ticketfly. com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

moe.

Lisa Landry IMPROV Waterfront. Over 18 show. Tickets: pittsburgh. improv.com or 412-462-5233. Through Feb. 16.

Les Racquet with Memphis Hill

STAGE AE North Side. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE Lawrenceville. 412-6820177. Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 9p.m.

THURSDAY 13

Hollis Brown

The Skivvies

LESTER HAMBURG STUDIO, CITY THEATRE. 412-431-2489. Tickets: citytheatrecompany. org. Through Feb. 15.

PHOTO CREDIT: STEVE MCNICHOLAS

WEDNESDAY 12

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CLUB CAFE South Side. 412431-4950. With special guest River Daughters & more. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opusone. 8p.m.

Robert Randolph and the Family Band

FRIDAY 14

ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-263-2877. With special guests Big Gypsy. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

THE PALACE THEATRE Greensburg. 724-836-8000. Tickets: thepalacetheatre.org. Through Feb. 15.

Stomp

STOMP FRDAY, FEBRUARY 14 THE PALACE THEATRE

3 Doors Down Acoustic CARNEGIE MUSIC HALL OF OAKLAND Oakland. With special guests Mercury. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly. com or 1-800-745-3000. 8p.m.

Eugene Mirman REX THEATER South Side. 412-381-6811. Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 8p.m.

Monster Jam CONSOL ENERGY CENTER

Downtown. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 800-7453000.Through Feb. 16.

SATURDAY 15

Reggie and the Full Effect ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-263-2877. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7:30p.m.

Brooke Annibale CLUB CAFE South Side. 412431-4950. With special guest Morgan Erina. Over 21 show.

newbalancepittsburgh.com 263-2877. With special guests RDGLDGRN & New Beat. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly. com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

The Trews HARD ROCK CAFE Station Square. 412-481-ROCK. With special guests Shadows Of Eve & more. Limited all ages. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

TUESDAY 18

Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 8p.m.

Cumulus

SMILING MOOSE South Side. 412-431-4668. With special guests Sea Rights. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:30p.m.

Cults MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447. With special guests Moon Rings. All ages show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opusone or 866-468-3401. 8p.m.

American Babies

SUNDAY 16

AER

ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-

CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-431-4950. With special guest The Good Seed & Willis Tree. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opusone. 8p.m.

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LATER IN LIFE {BY AL HOFF}

THE DRIP-DRIP-DRIP OF REVELATION IS DELIVERED THROUGH DIALOGUE AND BODY LANGUAGE

The eponymous protagonist of Gloria is a middle-aged woman, long divorced and getting by OK in her somewhat lonely life. Gloria (Paulina Garcia) has a job and a decent apartment in Santiago, Chile: In the evenings, she gets dressed up and goes dancing. One night at the nightclub, she meets Rodolfo (Sergio Hernandez), also middle-aged, divorced and lonely. The two strike up a relationship. Perhaps there can be a second chance at love?

Let the music play: Gloria (Paulina Garcia)

CP APPROVED

Gloria, who struggles to connect with grown children who no longer need her mothering, throws herself wholeheartedly into the affair — she even goes bungee-jumping at Rodolfo’s adventure park. But Rodolfo can’t break away from his dependent ex-wife and grown daughters, and the new relationship begins to fracture. A middle-aged woman with a passion for life, muddling through after no longer fitting into the culturally prescribed roles of “wife” and “mother” … it’s a common situation in real life, but rarely depicted in films. Sebastián Lelio’s low-key drama does a fine job of telling one woman’s story, though Gloria leans more toward naturalistic than dramatic. Some may find the slower pace and lack of melodrama challenging. Gloria’s real asset is actress Garcia, who delivers a deceptively quiet performance that nonetheless showcases Gloria’s longing, loneliness and resilience. In Spanish, with subtitles. Starts Fri., Feb. 14. Manor AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

A Binge-Fest on Netflix Worthy of Oscar. Four of the five films nominated for

Best Documentary

at the 2014 Academy Awards are currently streaming on Netflix: The Act of Killing, Dirty Wars, The Square and Cutie and the Boxer. (The last two never came to Pittsburgh.) Ironically Missing From Netflix: the fifth nominee, Twenty Feet From Stardom, about overlooked back-up Cutie and the Boxer singers.

{BY AL HOFF}

MONG THE hurdles faced by the characters in Asghar Farhadi’s drama The Past is the inability to communicate clearly. The trouble starts in the opening scene, when a woman meets a man at the airport gate. They wave but, divided by a wall of security glass, neither can hear what the other is saying. The man is Ahmad (Ali Mosaffa), an Iranian who has returned to France after a four-year absence to ﬁnalize his divorce from the woman, Marie (Bérénice Bejo, of The Artist). But what initially seems like a simple procedure between amicable former partners grows complicated, their relationship-in-limbo challenged by the unresolved past and an uncertain future. The untidy nature of domestic relationships is familiar turf for Iranian writer-director Farhadi, who made About Elly and A Separation, which won the 2012 Oscar for Foreign Film. Early on, Ahmad discovers Marie has a new man, Samir (Tahar Rahim), who is sharing her under-renovation (ahem)

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

No longer together: Marie (Bérénice Bejo) and Ahmad (Ali Mosaffa)

home. Samir has brought his young son, Fouad (Elyes Aguis), to join Marie’s two daughters from another relationship. Marie tells Ahmad that the eldest, teenage Lucie (Pauline Burlet), is troubled, and asks him ﬁnd out what’s wrong.

THE PAST

DIRECTED BY: Asghar Farhadi STARRING: Bérénice Bejo, Ali Mosaffa, Tahar Rahim In French, with subtitles Starts Fri., Feb. 14. Regent Square

CP APPROVED Thus, Ahmad functions as our guide, as he tries to sort out the new family dynamics. To say more would spoil the ﬁlm’s drip-drip-drip of revelation, nearly all delivered through casual dialogue and body language. Subtly, the focus shifts from one character to another: Ahmad to Marie to Lucie to Fouad and ﬁnally to Samir. One thread leads to another, and

what is eventually laid bare is a group of interconnected people struggling to function in the wake of a devastating event. This past matters — a lot — particularly in how individuals interpret or process it. Farhadi is fond of literalizing that dynamic: This ﬁlm about mishandled emotional baggage also features actual mishandled baggage, and in one scene, Marie reverses her car but almost has a collision because her vision out the rear window is partially obscured. Set in unglamorous Paris, the family drama may move too slowly for some viewers, despite a few tantrums. The material, though emotionally catastrophic, is set on simmer, and there is no tidy resolution. But beyond the mechanics of the plot, The Past is an exploration of perceived truths, the judgments based on them and the collateral damage that occurs. Life is a mess, in part because of what has come before. There’s no escaping it, only the hope of muddling onward with a modicum of understanding. A HOF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW ABOUT LAST NIGHT. Kevin Hart leads an ensemble cast in this remake of the 1986 relationship comedy (itself an adaptation of David Mamet’s play Sexual Perversity in Chicago). Steve Pink directs. Starts Fri., Feb. 14. ENDLESS LOVE. A teenage couple fall in love and their parents try to keep them apart. Shana Feste directs this remake of the 1981 melodrama, now starring Gabriella Wilde and Alex Pettyfer. Starts Fri., Feb. 14. THE LEGO MOVIE. “Everything Is Awesome” — that’s the theme song of Phil Lord and Christopher Miller’s computeranimated movie about a world made of Legos. It’s also the catchy, upbeat number played over loudspeakers throughout the Lego world to brainwash occupants into following the instruction manuals. People like builder Emmet Bricowski (voiced by Chris Pratt), the most generic Lego character ever. Largely about the importance of imagination, The Lego Movie matches the evil, follow-the-rules overlord of the kingdom, President Business (voiced perfectly by Will Ferrell), against a group of creative outsiders. Emmett reluctantly joins this group after being mistaken for “the brilliant chosen one,” who will save the world from monotony. The film ramps up the fun with each trip to a new Lego “set” (hello, film-related merchandise tie-ins!) and cameos from well-known real-life Lego characters. (Batman is the first fun surprise, but not the last.) Comparisons to Toy Story are inevitable, and like that classic, The Lego Movie is kid-centered but with lots of moments for adults, too. From the unveiling of President Business’ evil freezeray “Kragle” to the visual spectacle of the Lego blocks themselves (even flowing water is made out of tiny blocks), everything in the movie is — sing it with me — “awesome.” In 3-D, in select theaters. (Lisa Cunningham)

The Lego Movie WINTER’S TALE. A burglar with a gift for reincarnation tries to revive his now-deceased beloved. Colin Farrell and Jessica Brown Findlay star; Akiva Goldsman (A Beautiful Mind) directs. Starts Fri., Feb. 14. Starring: Anna May Live Music by: Tom Roberts

REPERTORY OSCAR-NOMINATED LIVE-ACTION AND ANIMATED SHORTS. Here’s your last chance to catch these two programs of short films up for a 2014 Academy Award. The live-action program offers a comedy from Finland, a chat with “God,” a fantastical afterlife called Helium, child soldiers in Africa and domestic-abuse drama. The animated program features: a lyrical feral child, a kind-hearted witch, a befuddled samurai, a lonely steampunk man, and Mickey Mouse. Programs screen separately. Through Thu., Feb. 13, at Regent Square; starts Fri., Feb. 14, at Harris (Al Hoff)

Wong & AppalAsia

H O L LY W O O D T H E AT E R 1 4 4 9 P o t o m a c Av e n u e , D o r m o n t 412.563.0368

Turn your images into gallery-quality mounted prints of any dimension

CASABLANCA. For Valentine’s Day week, settle into this classic 1942 romance from Michael Curtiz, in which two lovers — Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman — are torn apart by World War II, only to reunite in Morocco under complicated circumstances. Shot in luminous black-and-white,

CONTINUES ON PG. 40

Art by FotoFriend artist Carolyn Frischling makemyfotofoam.com/carolyn

Sisters of the Lattice present Link - 2/12 @ 8pm A mesmerizing documentary and interactive meditation featuring 10 personal steam saunas!

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Adult World (2013) - 2/13 @ 7:30pm - A recent

college graduate winds up working for an adult book store. Starring John Cusack and Emma Roberts

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Blue is the Warmest Color (2013) - 2/14 @ 7&10pm

NO BORDER

WHITE BORDER

CLEAR BORDER

Based on Julie Maroh’s graphic novel. Winner of the Palm d’Or. Tickets at ticketﬂy.com

Robocop ROBOCOP. In the year 2028, a private corporation decides to test its part-man-partrobot law-enforcement officer on the streets of Detroit. José Padilha directs this remake of Paul Verhoeven’s 1987 dystopian classic; Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton star.

NEWS

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GRRRINDHAHS 2: Pittsburgh’s Exploitation Celebration 2/15 @10:30am - Presented by Horror Realm. 9 movies, 14+ hours of non-stop kicks!

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My Fair Lady (1964) - 2/16 @ 11am, 3pm, & 7pm

1449 Potomac Avenue, Dormont 412.563.0368 www.thehollywooddormont.org

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Special discount code: artforpittsburgh gives 10% off on any order. Valid through Valentines Day (Feb 14, 2014)

CLASSIFIEDS

[ART REVIEW]

“I LIKE THAT A REAL STORY FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY WOULD GIVE ME A SENSE OF THE ABSURD.”

CIVIC’S LESSON {BY ROBERT RACZKA}

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

ARENA: REMEMBERING THE IGLOO continues through March 2. 707 Penn Gallery, 707 Penn Ave., Downtown. 412-325-7017 or www.trustarts.org NEWS

[COMEDY]

THE

PURSUIT OF

A photo from David Aschkenas’ Arena: Remembering the Igloo {IMAGE COURTESY OF THE ARTIST}

Though I don’t dispute that the Civic Arena deserves a memorial, Arena: Remembering the Igloo makes for a curious tribute, to say the least: mostly photographs depicting the demolition of the Arena. David Aschkenas was the only photographer licensed by the Sports & Exhibition Authority to record the destruction. By the time Aschkenas embarked on this project, what many considered a masterpiece of modern architecture appears to have already been doomed by a combination of backroom deals, unholy alliances and corporate welfare. (Much of the parking revenue and subsequent development profits from the land under and around the Arena were given to the Pittsburgh Penguins, a franchise owned by Lemieux Group, LP.) While the photographs capture the scale of the structure and the huge effort required to tear it down, as seen here the Arena is inseparable from the Penguins, who were however merely the final major tenant of a multi-use arena that was built for the Civic Light Opera and hosted many concerts and a great variety of sports events. A fitting memorial would feature the building in a diversity of uses and perhaps some acknowledgement of the lost potential for repurposing. That would be a very different exhibition, drawing from multiple photographers working over an extended period of time. Of the 10,000 photographs Aschkenas shot, this 707 Penn Gallery exhibit presents about three dozen beautifully composed, technically accomplished photographs of the demolition in progress. While Aschkenas’ skill is considerable, based on the photographs it’s unclear what effect he meant to have on the viewer. The techniques and strategies he employs are conventional — which is not to say easy — and highly dramatizing, including ultrawide-angle views, close-up items that pop against deep space, and rubble contrasting with glittering skyscrapers. Lots of bad stuff makes for interesting photographs, including the worn surfaces and disorder of poverty, natural and human-made disasters, even war. Here we get a stunning visual record of one of Pittsburgh’s iconic structures being downcycled into a parking lot — and someday, if we aren’t too unlucky, an inoffensive development. A somewhat more effective memorial is the accompanying small book, which at least includes fond reminiscences of the Arena. Meanwhile, I prefer to regard the exhibit as a memorial to a political process that, hopefully, is behind us.

COMEDY {BY MARGARET WELSH}

HESE DAYS, being a comedian demands engagement with all varieties of media; success as a standup usually involves a podcast, a book deal and a TV pilot. Few, however, navigate the wide world of comedy as easily as Eugene Mirman. Mirman lives and breathes his comedy, from his roles on Delocated and Bob’s Burgers and his surreal homemade videos to the full-page ad he took out to complain about his personal experience waiting around for Time Warner Cable, As Mirman puts, it, “I love doing a huge variety of things.” He recently spoke with CP by phone.

YOU’LL BE IN PITTSBURGH ON VALENTINE’S DAY. DO YOU HAVE ANY STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT THAT HOLIDAY? It’s funny, I don’t. That’s not to say that I haven’t celebrated Valentine’s Day in the past, but it’s neither a time where I had something particularly great or terrible happen. On the other hand, Arbor Day: Have I got stories.

Eugene Mirman: He’s got stories

So I went there and created the major of comedy, which was actually a sort of amazing experience. WHAT DID THAT INVOLVE? I did a lot of different projects, taking writing and acting and history and sociology classes and ﬁlm classes. I also did independent studies on, you know, physiology

DID YOU ALWAYS WANT TO PURSUE COMEDY? As a kid I really loved standup, and at some point I think it occurred to me that that was something you could potentially do as a job. Then I found Hampshire College, where you could design your own major.

of laughter. For my ﬁnal project, I wrote, produced and performed a one-hour standup act that I also promoted, and essentially a lot of the stuff that went into that that would be considered extracurricular in other places. I wrote a weekly column for our newspaper, I hosted a radio show, stuff like that. DID ALL THAT GIVE YOU AN ACADEMIC APPROACH TO COMEDY IN PRACTICE? It just gave me a lot of experiences. It’s not like when I go and do comedy, all my jokes are about the incongruity of what you expect [laughs]. In a sense it was very academic, but it was also very practical.

EUGENE MIRMAN WITH DERRICK BROWN AND TIM SEDWICK

7 p.m. Fri., Feb. 14. Rex Theater, 1602 E. Carson St., South Side. $15-17. 412-381-6811 or rex.greyareaprod.com

CONTINUES ON PG. 42

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THE PURSUIT OF COMEDY, CONTINUED FROM PG. 41

YOUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;RE PROBABLY BEST KNOWN FOR PLAYING GENE ON BOBâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BURGERS. DID DEVELOPING THAT ADOLESCENT CHARACTER INVOLVE TAPPING INTO YOUR 11-YEAR-OLD SELF? Frequently, my character references things that are more from my childhood than someone who would be 11 today. In the second episode, I make an [improvised] joke about Salman Rushdie. [Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s] me arguing with my dad, Bob, that Salman Rushdie wrote The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. But it is the sort of thing that a precocious 11-year-old could overhear and insist. â&#x20AC;Ś A lot of it is that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all friends in real life and we record all together, which is not common for cartoons. And as a result, we get to play off each other a lot.

."3$) t #&/&%6. $&/5&3 BOX OFFICE AT THEATER SQUARE 53645"354 03( t (30614 5*$,&54 Â&#x203A; 8::<JJ@9C< J<IM@:<J 8M8@C89C< Â&#x203A;

YOUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;VE TOLD STORIES ABOUT YOUR PARENTSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; EXPERIENCES IN COLD WAR-ERA RUSSIA, INCLUDING ONE ABOUT YOUR MOTHER FINISHING A PHONE CONVERSATION AND THEN HEARING A RECORDING OF THE CONVERSATION PLAYED BACK. DID THEIR STORIES GIVE YOU A SENSE OF THE ABSURD? I like [the idea] that a real story from another country would give me a sense of

the absurd [laughs]. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been here since I was 4 years old, so I know a lot of the stories that my parents have, [but] I think a lot of my comedy comes from being more personally an outsider-slash-notcompletely-an-outsider in America. I grew up Russian during the Cold War, but at the same time I was pretty much American. On the other hand, I do speak Russian to my parents â&#x20AC;&#x201D; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not part of that culture. I think [what] beneďŹ ted me greatly was the idea that we came to America, and you could, you know, become what you want. That was always very much at the forefront of my thinking in terms of studying comedy. This idea that you could have a goal and work towards it and accomplish it, that came partially from leaving Russia and coming to America. It very much seemed like anything was possible. Which [is a concept] I think a lot of Americans donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t engage as much as immigrants do. SO YOU THINK AMERICANS ARE TOO INCREDULOUS ABOUT THE AMERICAN DREAM? I do. I think that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something that people are cynical about and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a full appreciation for. M W E L S H@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

Playing It (Too) Safe: Play, Playgrounds, and the Value of Risk Keynote and Community Conversation Thursday, February 13, 6:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 p.m. Carnegie Music Hall Free; Reception follows

Photo: Josh Franzos

Risk promotes creativity, but is it too dangerous? Join Carnegie Museum of Art and the Pittsburgh Association for the Education of Young Children (PAEYC) for an engaging discussion about the state of American playgrounds and the importance of risk and adventure. To save your space, visit carnegieinternational.org

HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE ART? TOURS DAILY.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

Histoire du Soldat February 23, 26, 27 & March 1 7:30 p.m. The George R. White Studio at Pittsburgh Opera 2425 Liberty Avenue Reservations Required $35 Suggested Donation www.attacktheatre.com/hds 1.888.71.TICKETS (1.888.718.4253)

An Attack Theatre Community Performance Featuring

{PHOTO COURTESY OF CRAIG THOMPSON STUDIO}

www.attacktheatre.com Made possible in part by:

Randy Kovitz in Underneath the Lintel, at 12 Peers Image: Rob Henning Design

[PLAY REVIEWS]

GOING DEEP

But ultimately, the mystery might not matter. The story, in fact, doesn’t really {BY TED HOOVER} matter. On reflection, I don’t think you can call Lintel (2000) a play; it’s more a meditaBILLED AS AN “existential detective story,” tion on the random chaos of the universe, Glen Berger’s Underneath the Lintel (pre- the utter absence of any God and the dearth sented by 12 Peers Theater) is surely one of meaning — or rather, “Meaning.” of the oddest plays you’re going to see this Berger has couched these ruminations year. I’ve been pondering how to describe in the confines of a plot, but that decepthe experience and I’m not having much tion is just the vehicle he uses to advance luck. It might be easier to just give you a his thoughts. précis of the plot. Let me rush to say that I didn’t care one bit that it’s not a play. Berger’s writing is so impeccable and precise, his language UNDERNEATH alive and insightful, and his ideas mindTHE LINTEL bendingly huge yet intricately personal, continues through March 1. 12 Peers that there’s not a second of this 80-minute at Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre, 937 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $15. intermissionless play that you’re not swept www.12peerstheater.org up in the journey. And that trek is given depth and imThen again, maybe not. There’s a mediacy by Randy Kovitz’s exquisite turn mystery at the center, so even relating the as the Librarian. With direction by Kovitz story is a bit tricky. An unnamed Dutch and Cameron Knight, not a single false note librarian — whom the word “mousy” is sounded, and Kovitz’s relentless refusal doesn’t even begin to describe — discovers to overplay and/or over-explain is what a hundred-year-overdue book. Unable to gives this Pittsburgh-premiere evening its let it go, he becomes obsessed with tracing powerful punch. the borrower, which sets him off on global You’ve never be quite sure what you’ve adventure in search of … just seen, but you’ll be grateful for having … and that’s where I need to stop. The seen it. Librarian finds himself chasing a mythical I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM figure who, he comes to believe, is fact, not fiction. He relates his quest at a sparsely attended public gathering in England (we are {BY MICHELLE PILECKI} the audience for the lecture) after having travelled an enormous distance: physically, BRAVE. emotionally and spiritually. In the “telegram speak” of German

EXPRESSED

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

{BY ALAN W. PETRUCELLI}

discolored, Shrek the Wreck ﬁts better. When William Steig’s kids’ book Shrek! was published, in 1990, the story of a fat, green, bald, ugly ogre, who lives in a swamp and eats squirrel guts, worked because of one word: imagination. The story sprung off the pages simply and sweetly. Steven Spielberg bought the book’s rights the following year; Dreamworks made the hit animated ﬁlm. Then came the Broadway musical, by composer Jeanine Tesori and lyricist and librettist David Lindsay-Abaire. The story is basic: If Shrek rescues Princess Fiona from her tower prison and delivers her to Lord Farquaad, then the ogre and his storybook pals get to reclaim the swamp as home.

SHREK THE MUSICAL

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continues through Sun., Feb. 16. Byham Theater, 101 Sixth St., Downtown. $12.2544.75. 412-456-6666 or wwww.trustarts.org

What the audience faces is a pareddown black box of a stage with dim lighting, long silences punctuated by staccato dialogues, and extreme emotions. Is there a plot? The relationship between the two unnamed (lead?) characters (gamely played by Tyler Jennings and Christina Gregory) seems to have hit a rift that is more than metaphorical. (Props to stage manager Rachael Fanale and her assistants, Taylor Brink on lights, Molly Hamelin on sound and, most likely, Lane himself for the special effects.) A mob of not-readily-discernible individuals threatens. Nature unleashes catastrophe, but salvation is possible. Yeah, it can be hard slogging, but it’s only 38 minutes long. Awakening was a big inﬂuence on the Expressionists and those who followed. Check out an important bit of theater history.

AWAKENING

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SHREK THE MUSICAL? Everything is so

Was everything else in this stage version added merely to flesh out the plot? Pittsburgh Musical Theater’s production of Shrek the Musical lumbers along for close to three hours, with unmemorable tunes and parades of familiar fairy-tale people, including a Puss in Boots who could easily appear in an adult mag, and a falsetto Pinocchio with a nose that, as it erects, looks a bit too familiar. There’s so little opportunity for anyone to do anything good since the material is so bland. I was hoping for some goofy charm . . . and I did at least find someone charmingly goofy: Accomplished actor and storyteller Tim Hartman, who portrays the meanie, maimed Lord Farquaad. Hartman is a delight; droll and dizzy, sometimes a real butch number, but often, with a flip of his jet-black ’do, as campy as Paul Lynde. To play the diminutive Farquaad, Hartman must walk on his knees, tiny fake legs dangling before him — an initially funny sight gag that he controls so masterfully it never drags. A suggestion: If Hartman slices 120 minutes of the show, tosses the three blind mice and most fairies, and tames the Donkey’s ass, the show’s moral about inner beauty and self-esteem and how we are all alike would surface faster than a moment of being scared shrekless. One more thought: Fiona wears a Granny Smith-colored gown, a Fiona Apple at least. Am I the only one who eats that up?

continues through Sat., Feb. 15. Peter Mills Theater, Rockwell Hall, Duquesne University, Uptown. $5-10. www.redmasquers.blogspot.com

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FAIRY TAILINGS

Expressionism, that would be a good description of the Red Masquers’ production of Awakening. Another word that leaps to mind would be “why,” but reviving long-obscure turning points in theater evolution is fully in the job description of academia. Director John E. Lane Jr., Duquesne University’s director of theater arts, also adapted Awakening after J.M. Ritchie’s translation of the original (Die Haidebraut, c. 1912). The playwright, August Stramm, is better known as a poet whose life and career was ended by World War I. Indeed, the play seems prescient of the turmoil of World War I and its aftermath in Germany, but the likelihood that it was written before the war indicates just how upset the Expressionists were with life. Germany as a nation was still young and on a fast track from agrarian culture to world-class industrial society. Much of Europe was in various stages of this change, and many artists reacted with an emphasis on the subjective rather than the realistic. (Think of Edvard Munch’s 1893 painting “The Scream.”) Lane has written that Expressionistic theater strove “to eliminate all realistic detail to concentrate on only the essential actions and emotions. They eliminated speciﬁc locations, reduced characters to archetypes, … concentrated on sharp contrasts in sets, lights and actions ... [and] condensed language down to its essential words.”

FEB21-MAR2/2014

Ronald Allan-Lindblom artistic director • Earl Hughes producing director

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Murph Dogg • ‘Stone Drone’ • 2014 Image on paper +

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Valentines’ Day

February 13, 8pm $5 Fireball cocktails / shots Prizes and Burlesque Show

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

former Andy Warhol Museum director Tom Sokolowski, every Thursday and Pittsburgh City Paper editor Chris Potter, every Friday

Give Your Heart Away February 13, 9pm-2am Bring in any gift from your Ex to be donated to Goodwill. $4 Fireball shots

Feb. 14 10pm-Midnight $3 Fireball Shots Prize + Giveaways 46

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

Cirque Zuma Zuma

+ THU., FEB. 13 {FESTIVAL}

It’s year seven for Pittsburgh’s answer to Burning Man. We mean of course Frostburn, the annual multi-day winter campout and chill-defying, snow-embracing celebration of music, art, fire, food and community. The long list of events comprising the five-day fest located at Brookville’s rural Camp Kevin (near I-80, east of Clarion) and starting tonight includes dance parties, a polar-bear beach party, the Miss Frostburn contest, a midnight happy-hour Lou Reed tribute and the inevitable snowman-effigy burn. Note: As attendance has risen into the hundreds, prices have climbed a bit. The snowballs are still free. Bill O’Driscoll Continues through Mon., Feb. 17. Brookville, Pa. $100. www.frostburn.org

his one-man multimedia show We Are Not Troubled Guests. This “journey through belief, pain and ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’” incorporates live painting, video, spoken word and audience karaoke. “This whole thing is about when you stop believing in a certain thing, is there a place where you feel like you still

belong,” Erickson tells CP. The first of three free performances is tonight. BO 8 p.m. Also 10:30 p.m. Fri., Feb. 14, and Sat., Feb. 15. 601 Wood St., Downtown. Free. www.scottericksonart.com

{STAGE}

barebones productions had a hit last year with The Motherfucker With the Hat, a relatively big production for the troupe, with revolving stage and cast of six. To conclude its 10th season, Patrick Jordan’s troupe revisits its namesake roots with a twohander. Keith Huff’s A Steady Rain follows Joey and Denny, Chicago cops and life-long best friends whose relationship is tested when a domesticdisturbance call gone wrong sends them into a moral shadowland. The Broadway cast featured Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig; this Pittsburgh-premiere production, at the New Hazlett Theater, stars Jordan and David Whalen, directed by Melissa Martin. BO 8 p.m. Show continues through March 2. 6 Allegheny Square East, North Side. $30-35. www. barebonesproductions.com barebon

+ SSAT., FEB. 14 {SCREEN} {SC

FEB. 18 Renée Fleming

{STAGE}

Scott Erickson is known for his live painting at concerts and other events. Now the Portland-based artist has another story to tell. In town for Jubilee (an annual spiritually themed conference), Erickson visits Wood Street Galleries with {PHOTO COURTESY OF ANDREW ECCLES}

Wh most discussions of While Occupy Wall Street have Occ focused on the protesters’ focu unrest and anger, Occupy unre Love ttakes the opposite approach. Director Velcrow appro Ripper argues that Ripp movements like Occupy mov based on protesters’ love are base the earth, for fellow — for th protesters and for humanity protest whole. Come see a as a w different take on political differ action when the University actio Pittsburgh Sociology of Pi Grad Student Organization hosts its first film screening host tonight, at The Big Idea ton Bookstore. A discussion Bo follows. Angela Suico fo 5 p.m. 4812 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. A Free. 412-687-4323 or www.thebigideapgh. wordpress.com

sp otlight

A romantic evening under the stars is just what Cupid ordered, so bundle up and bring your loved one to Schenley Park Skating Rink for Valentines on Ice. The event features ice-skating and free roses and chocolate for the first 300 couples. The festivities are presented by Citiparks and 100.7 Star. Additional

Performing Arts Series. AS 7:30 p.m. 423 Fox Chapel Road, Fox Chapel. $10-25. 412-9683040 or www.thehillman.org

and a monologue. Tonight’s first-ever midnight show is a Best of Blue Light Special, featuring off-color humor by six comics including Alex Stypula, Molly Sharrow and Derek Minto. Other weekend guests include Gene Collier and Spinster Comedy; the Sunday-night show features all six of Arcade’s in-house improv troupes. BO 8 p.m.,

{STAGE}

James de Jongh’s play Do Lord Remember Me tells the story of slavery, based on firsthand accounts collected by the Federal Writers’ Project in 1935. The play’s characters describe the hardships of working in the cotton fields and being physically abused by their masters. But there’s humor, too, with comic bits about slave rituals and tricks played on slave-holders. Presented by New Horizon Theater and directed by Eileen Morris, the show opens tonight. AS 7:30 p.m. Continues through March 2. Union Project, 801 N. Negley Ave., Highland Park. $20 ($15 for students and seniors). 412-431-0773 or www.newhorizontheater.org

FEB. 13

{FASHION}

Scott Erickson motive: The rink closes for the season in March. AS 7 p.m. Overlook Drive, Oakland. $4 per couple ($3 per student couple). 412-422-6523 or www.pittsburghpa.gov

{COMEDY}

Diversity is the watchword for Arcade Comedy Theater. The motto has served the Downtown-based company well: In its first full year, it suffered not a single dark weekend. Aptly, Arcade marks its anniversary with an eclectic three-night, six-show lineup of improv, standup, sketches, music and magic. Tonight’s three separate shows include short-form improv by Player One; long-form improv (with storyteller Joe Wos); music;

NEWS

Every year, a group of Carnegie Mellon students take a break from writing papers to present Lunar Gala. Held in honor of Chinese New Year, this fashion show features clothes created and modeled by students, with flashy motion graphics created by student artists. This year’s show is titled Hypnose; press materials say it will “invite Pittsburgh to become lost in the fluctuation between simplicity and intricacy, clarity and ambiguity.” Sounds a lot more fun than getting lost in real life. AS 8 p.m. Weigand Gymnasium, 5000 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $20 ($30 VIP). 412-628-8451 or www. cmulunargala.com

10 p.m. and midnight. Continues through Sun., Feb. 16. $5-15 (BYOB). www. arcadecomedytheater.com

+ SAT., FEB. 15 {CIRCUS}

Cirque Zuma Zuma calls itself “African-style Cirque du Soleil.” The troupe brings together 120 African artists representing 16 nations. The production involves drumming, dancing, tumbling and incredible displays of upper-body strength. See performers balance atop each other and contort their bodies in ways that will inspire you to finally take that yoga class. The show is the latest in the Hillman

M A I N F E AT U R E

+ SUN., FEB. 16 {SPORT}

They’re rolling again: The

TA S T E

MUSIC

FEB. 14 Occupy Love

ladies of Steel City Roller Derby are playing bouts, and Sunday’s no day of rest. The SCRD (part of the international Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) has both regionally touring teams and intra-league home teams.

wheels? In March, look for the Steel Hurtin’ squad’s travel-season opener. BO 6 p.m. 1661 E. Sutter Road, Glenshaw. $10-15 (free for kids under 10). www.steelcityrollerderby.org

Tonight at Romp N’ Roll, in Glenshaw, watch two of the latter — the Mon Monsters and the Penn Bruisers — face off. Game 2 is the annual Valentine’s Day scrimmage. Because what says Valentine’s Day better than hell on

+ TUE., FEB. 18 {MUSIC}

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JOSH SNIDER PHOTOGRAPHY}

{OUTDOORS}

{IMAGE COURTESY OF TOM RADENZ}

It’s been said that if you get stage fright, just imagine the audience in their underwear. New York City-based performers Lauren Molina and Nick Cearly turn that advice on its head with their group The Skivvies. The duo performs original songs and mashups of pop and Broadway tunes wearing only … well, their skivvies. The idea formed when the two planned to film a YouTube cover of Rihanna’s “We Found Love” in Molina’s apartment. Standing in her underwear, Molina couldn’t decide on an outfit, so Cearly suggested she just play as she was, and — voilà! — The Skivvies were born. According to Molina, the band’s MO is taking “pop songs that have absurd or trite lyrics, and [exposing] them … in a brand-new way. To hear me playing the cello and singing in a soprano style a dirty rap song is a comedic twist.” As for whether audience members strip to their skivvies, she has yet to encounter a semi-naked fan. But “we are now selling merch that includes underwear, so I feel like we should offer a discount for somebody who’s wearing our underwear [when] they show up.” The Skivvies perform four shows this weekend at City Theatre. Angela Suico 8 p.m. Thu., Feb. 13; 8 p.m. Fri. Feb. 14; and 8 and 10:30 p.m. Sat., Feb. 15. 1300 Bingham St., South Side. $25 ($15 by phone for ages under 30). 412-431-2489 or www.citytheatrecompany.org

Given Renée Fleming’s track record and her knockout national anthem at the Super Bowl, it’s rather remarkable that at press time, tickets still remained for the famed soprano’s recital tonight, at Carnegie Music Hall. Here’s your chance to hear the internationally known National Medal of Arts winner — and Indiana, Pa., native — sing works by Mozart, Wagner, Weill, Schoenberg, Rodgers & Hammerstein and more. She’ll be accompanied by Gerald Martin Moore on piano. BO 8 p.m. 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $40-150 (postperformance VIP reception: add $100). 412-281-0912 or www.pittsburghopera.org

FEB. 16 Steell Ci Cit City it Roller Derby

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on the classic Hitchcock ﬁlm Feb. 14-15, 8 p.m. and Sun., Feb. 16, 2 p.m. Greensburg Civic Theatre, Greensburg. 724-836-8000. AMELIA: THE MUSICAL. Quirky romance about Amelia Earhart. Presented by the Fancy Romancers. thefancyromancers. wordpress.com Fri., Feb. 14, 7 p.m. and Sun., Feb. 16, 3 p.m. Three Rivers Village School, Morningside. (ANOTHER) EVENING OF ONE-ACTS. Presented by Stage Right. Thu-Sat, 8 p.m. Thru Feb. 15. Boyd Community Center, O’Hara. 412-228-0566. COMPANY. As yet unable to make a commitment of his own, Robert supports his married friends & hears about the ups & downs of their relationships. Presented by the Pittsburgh Public Theater. Wed-Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 & 8 p.m., Sun, 2 & 7 p.m. and Tue, 7 p.m. Thru Feb. 18. O’Reilly Theater, Downtown. 412-316-1600.

DATING CAN BE MURDER. Interactive murder mystery dinner theater. Thru Feb. 15, 7 p.m. Gaetano’s Restaurant, Dormont. 412-343-6640. DO LORD REMEMBER ME. A collage of song, movement & storytelling, presented by New Horizon Theater. Thu-Sat, 7:30 p.m. and Sun, 3 p.m. Thru March 2. Union Project, Highland Park. 412-431-0773. DUELING VALENTINES. Readings of love & hate poems, sonnets & odes performed by all female cast Presented by Prime Stage Theatre. Fri., Feb. 14, 7 p.m. Max’s Allegheny Tavern, North Side. 412-231-1899. HEADS. Story of four hostages in a war zone & how they each respond to their ordeal by making difﬁcult choices to survive. Presented by The REP. Thu, Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 & 8 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru Feb. 16. Pittsburgh Playhouse, Oakland. 412-392-8000. JUDGE JACKIE JUSTICE - A NEW MUSICAL COMEDY. The courtroom of Judge Jackie Justice is now in session w/ “real” cases

{BY ERIC LIDJI}

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involving zombies, spaceships, THE MYSTERY OF IRMA VEP. Satire of several theatrical, literary furries, more. Wed-Fri, 7:30 p.m. & ﬁlm genres by Charles Ludlam. and Sat, Sun, 2 p.m. Thru April 27. Thu-Sat, 8 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Cabaret at Theater Square, Thru March 2. The Theatre Factory. Downtown. 412-456-6666. 412-374-9200. MADAGASCAR. A haunting SHREK THE MUSICAL. Presented story about three Americans who by Pittsburgh Musical Theater. ﬁnd themselves alone in the same Fri, Sat, 7:30 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. hotel room overlooking Rome’s Thru Feb. 16. Byham Theater, Spanish Steps at three different Downtown. 412-456-6666. periods in time. Presented A STEADY RAIN. When by Quantum Theatre. a domestic disturbance Wed-Sat, 8 p.m., Sun, call takes a turn for the 7 p.m. and Thru worse, the friendship Feb. 22, 8 p.m. The of two Chicago cops Carlyle, Downtown. www. per is put on the line. 412-362-1713. pa pghcitym Presented by barebones .co MAMMA MIA! Thru productions. Thu-Sat, Feb. 13, 7:30 p.m., Fri., 8 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru Feb. 14, 8 p.m., Sat., Feb. 15, March 2. New Hazlett Theater, 2 & 8 p.m. and Sun., Feb. 16, 1 & North Side. 1-888-718-4253. 6:30 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. UNDERNEATH THE LINTEL. 412-392-4900. Glen Berger’s “existential detective A MEMORY, A MONOLOGUE, story.” Presented by 12 Peers A RANT, & A PRAYER. Theater. Thru Feb. 15, 8 p.m., Thru Presented by the Gay-Straight Feb. 18, 8 p.m. and Thru Feb. 26, Alliance at the University of 8 p.m. Pittsburgh Playwrights Pittsburgh at Greensburg. Thu., Theatre, Downtown. Feb. 13, 7:30 p.m. University of THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES. Pittsburgh at Greensburg. Presented by the Gay-Straight Alliance at the University of Pittsburgh at Greensburg. Fri., Feb. 14, 7:30 p.m. University of Pittsburgh at Greensburg. THE WOMEN. A commentary on the pampered lives & power struggles of various wealthy Manhattan socialites and the gossip that propels & damages their relationships. Fri, Sat, 7:30 p.m. Thru Feb. 22. Comtra Theatre, Cranberry. 724-591-8727. YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU. Madcap comedy about a family of eccentrics. Presented by the Indiana Players. Fri, Sat, 7:30 p.m. and Sun, 2:30 p.m. Thru Feb. 16. Philadelphia Street Playhouse. 724-464-0725.

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THEATER THE 39 STEPS. A comedic take

COMEDY THU 13 COMEDY OPEN MIC W/ DEREK MINTO. Thu, 9 p.m. Thru Feb. 27 Hambone’s, Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. PITTSBURGH IMPROV JAM. Thu, 10 p.m. Cabaret at Theater Square, Downtown. 412-325-6769.

THU 13 - SAT 15

THE SKIVVIES. NYC’s undie-rock, comedy-pop duo. Feb. 13-14, 8 p.m. and Sat., Feb. 15, 8 & 10:30 p.m. City Theatre, South Side. 412-431-2489.

THU 13 - SUN 16

LISA LANDRY. 8 p.m., Fri., Feb. 14, 8 & 10:15 p.m., Sat., Feb. 15, 7 & 9:15 p.m. and Sun., CONTINUES ON PG. 50

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ONGOING 707 PENN GALLERY. Arena: Remembering the Igloo. Photographs by David Aschkenas. Downtown. 412-325-7017. 709 PENN GALLERY. Neverlands. Mixed media drawings by Terry Boyd. Downtown. 412-471-6070. ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Art. Right. Now: Scholastic Art Awards 2013-2014. Feat. 130 art & literary works from grade 6-12 students around the country. I Just Want to Watch: Warhol’s Film, Video and Television. Long-term exhibition of Warhol’s ﬁlm & video work. Permanent collection. Artwork and artifacts by the famed Pop Artist. North Side. 412-237-8300. BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. WAVES: Perceptions of Light & Sound. Acrylic & mixed media paintings by Kara Ruth Snyder. Downtown. 412-325-6769. BE GALLERIES. Arcadia. Work by Atticus Adams. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2606. BLUE OLIVE GALLERIES. Pittsburgh Panoramas/Metals. Tarentum. 724-275-7001. BOULEVARD GALLERY. Pittsburgh at Night. Photographs by John Craig. Verona. 412-828-1031. BOXHEART GALLERY. 13th Annual Art Inter/National. Invitational group show exploring the resilient &

ephemeral nature of the human experience. Bloomﬁeld. 412-687-8858. BRYANT STREET LIMITED. Nostalgic Pastel Creations. Work by Linda Barnicott. Highland Park. 412-362-2200. CARNEGIE LIBRARY, OAKLAND. Inside Out: The Art of the Students of GPLC. Feat. artwork of students from around the city & the globe. Oakland. 412-393-7600. CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. 2013 Carnegie International. Exhibition of new international art in the United States. Curated by Daniel Baumann, Dan Byers, & Tina Kukielski. Oakland. 412-622-3131. CHATHAM UNIVERSITY. Culture in Context. African Art from the Olkes Collection. Shadyside. 412-365-1232. CITY-COUNTY BUILDING. Beyond the Funny Pages: The works of art & life captured in comics. Black History Month exhibit of work by Orrin C. Evans, Jackie Ormes & Clarence Matthew Baker. Downtown. CRAZY MOCHA COFFEE COMPANY. Blithering Landscapes & Other Ideas. Pen, ink & colored pencil by Eric Hauser. Bloomﬁeld. 412-681-5225. EAST OF EASTSIDE GALLERY. East of Eastside Gallery Grand Opening. Work by Adrienne Heinrich, Jane Ogren, Mark Panza, Sue Pollins, Kurt Shaw, more. Forest Hills. 412-465-0140.

ECLECTIC ART & OBJECTS GALLERY. 19th century American & European paintings combined with some of the world’s most talented contemporary artists & their artwork. The Hidden Collection. Watercolors by Robert N. Blair (1912- 2003). Hiromi Traditional Japanese Oil Paintings The Lost Artists of the 1893 Chicago Exhibition. Collectors Showcase. Emsworth. 412-734-2099. FILMMAKERS GALLERIES. Pittsburgh je t’aime. A collection of iPhone photos by Hilary Robinson. Closing reception Feb 17, 5:30-8 p.m. Oakland. 412-681-5449. FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Permanent collection of European Art. Point Breeze. 412-371-0600. FUTURE TENANT. Fabrications. Group show, highlighting work by Carnegie Mellon University’s College of Fine Arts students. Curated by Bonnie Gloris. Downtown. 412-325-7037. GALLERIE CHIZ. Primitive Chic. Work by Daniel Belardinelli, Charlie Green, Jeffrey Hovis, Teresa Martuccio & Cheryl Towers. Shadyside. 412-441-6005. GLENN GREENE STAINED GLASS STUDIO INC. Original Glass Art by Glenn Greene. Exhibition of new work, recent work & older work. Regent Square. 412-243-2772. IRMA FREEMAN CENTER FOR IMAGINATION. Make Moves.

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ARCADE ANNIVERSARY SHOW W/ PLAYER ONE. 8 p.m. Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown. 412-339-0608. ARCADE ANNIVERSARY SHOW W/ TOM MUSIAL, JEFF KONKLE, ED BAILEY, DERRICK KNOPSNYDER. 10 p.m. Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown. 412-339-0608. BEST OF BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL. Show begins at midnight. Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown. 412-339-0608. BILL BENDEN. 7 p.m. Lower Burrell Moose Lodge 53. 724-335-4131. THE DATING GAME. 9:30 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695. EUGENE MIRMAN, DERRICK BROWN. 8 p.m. Rex Theater, South Side. 412-381-6811. SCIT IMPROV COMEDY HOUSE TEAMS. Fri, 8 p.m. Thru April 11 Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695. SCIT SOCIAL IMPROV JAM. Fri, 10:30 p.m. Thru Feb. 28 Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695.

SAT 15 ARCADE ANNIVERSARY SHOW W/ GENE COLLIER. 8 p.m. Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown. 412-339-0608. ARCADE ANNIVERSARY SHOW W/ LEE TERBOSIC. 10 p.m. Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown. 412-339-0608. BUDDY FLIP, DOC DIXON, JOSH WOMACK. 7 p.m. Rostraver Ice Garden. 412-920-5653. DAVID KAYE, AUGGIE COOK, DAN BROWN. Highlands Hockey Association Funny Fundraiser. 6:30 p.m. Natrona Heights VFW Post 894, Natrona Heights. 412-920-5653. GEEKZDANZ PRESENTS MODERN DANCE MAD LIBS. 8 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695. THE LUPONES: MADE UP MUSICALS. 9:30 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695. A NIGHT OF STAND UP COMEDY W/ MATT LIGHT W/ COLLIN CHAMBERLIN, TIM ROSS & DERRICK KNOPSNYDER (LATE). Hosted by Ed Bailey. 10:30 p.m. Club Cafe, South Side. 412-431-4950. TONY MONTELEONE, SHANNON NORMAN, TRAVIS WALLING, CASON MALE, MOLLY SHARROW. Pittsburgh’s Finest Comedy Showcase. 9 p.m. Hot Rod Cafe, Mt. Washington. 412-592-7869.

SUN 16

BONUS STAGE. Feat. 6 in-house improv troupes. 7 p.m. Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown. 412-339-0608.

VISUAL ART

CONTINUED FROM PG. 49

Assemblage work, drawings, video & more by Bill Shannon. Garfield. 412-924-0634. JAMES GALLERY. Aspect & Perception. Paintings by Micheal Madigan. West End. 412-922-9800. LA PRIMA ESPRESSO. Paintings/Prints of Italy. Prints of Vince Ornato’s oil paintings of Italy. Strip District. 412-281-1922. LAKEVUE ATHLETIC CLUB. Pop-Up Gallery. Work by a variety of artists. 724-316-9326. MALL AT ROBINSON. City by the Bay. Photography by PTI students. Robinson. MATTRESS FACTORY. DETROIT: Artists in Residence. Work by Design 99, Jessica Frelinghuysen, Scott Hocking, Nicola Kuperus & Adam Lee Miller, Russ Orlando, Frank Pahl. Janine Antoni: Within. Chiharu Shiota: Trace of Memory. Site-specific installation focusing on the body w/ relation to place & space. Ongoing Installations. Works by Turrell, Lutz, Kusama, Anastasi, Highstein, Wexler & Woodrow. North Side. 412-231-3169. MILLER GALLERY AT CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY. Alien She. Work by Ginger Brooks Takahashi, Tammy Rae Carland, Miranda July, Faythe Levine, Allyson Mitchell, L.J. Roberts, & Stephanie Syjuco. Oakland. 412-268-3618. MODERNFORMATIONS GALLERY. Almagamations. Paintings by Brad Heiple & Sophia McGuire. Garfield. 412-362-0274. MORGAN CONTEMPORARY GLASS GALLERY. pgc@mgg. Group show feat. featuring artists who either work or teach at the Pittsburgh Glass Center. Shadyside. 412-441-5200.

WED 19

COMEDY OPEN MIC. Hosted by Ronald Renwick. Wed, 9:30 p.m. Scarpaci’s Place, Mt. Washington. 412-431-9908. RACE TO THE COFFIN COMEDY TOUR. 9 p.m. Smiling Moose, South Side. 412-431-4668. STAND-UP COMEDY OPEN MIC. Wed, 8 p.m. The BeerHive, Strip District. 412-904-4502.

EXHIBITS ALLEGHENY-KISKI VALLEY HERITAGE MUSEUM. Military artifacts and exhibits on the Allegheny Valley’s industrial heritage. Tarentum. 724-224-7666. AUGUST WILSON CENTER FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN CULTURE. Pittsburgh: Reclaim, Renew, Remix. Feat. imagery, ﬁlm & oral history narratives to explore communities, cultures,

THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Pixel Punks DIY Pop-Up Arcade. A showcase of deranged independent games. Bloomﬁeld. PANZA GALLERY. Figures In February. An Exhibit showcasing local Pittsburgh Artists who attend drawing sessions at the gallery. Opening reception Feb. 15, 6-9 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-0959. PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. Photography of the Great Gatsby Era. See what cameras were popular in the Roaring 20’s including Kodak Vest Pocket Cameras & Vanity Cameras, beautifully housed in Art Deco styled cases. Some even came complete with a mirror and lipstick for those ﬂappers on the go! North Side. 412-231-7881. PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Robert Qualters: A Life. A retrospective curated by Vicky A. Clark. Shadyside. 412-361-0455. PITTSBURGH GLASS CENTER. Halfway to Somewhere. Work by Granite Calimpong & Brent Rogers. Friendship. 412-365-2145. POINT PARK UNIVERSITY. DANCE. Work by Joyce Werwie Perry. The Lawrence Hall Gallery. Downtown. 412-391-4100. SENATOR JOHN HEINZ HISTORY CENTER. Poptastic! The Art of Burton Morris. Retrospective feat. nearly 50 works. Strip District. 412-454-6000. SILVER EYE CENTER FOR PHOTOGRAPHY. Fellowship 14: Projects by Donna J. Wan & Aaron MacLachlan. South Side. 412-431-1810. SLAUGHTERHOUSE GALLERY. Cemeon Larivonovoff: The Russian Icon Painter. Lawrenceville. 412-782-6474.

& innovations. Downtown. 412-258-2700. BAYERNHOF MUSEUM. Large collection of automatic roll-played musical instruments and music boxes in a mansion setting. Call for appointment. O’Hara. 412-782-4231. BOST BUILDING. Collectors. Preserved materials reﬂecting the industrial heritage of Southwestern PA. Homestead. 412-464-4020. CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER. Ongoing: Buhl Digital Dome (planetarium), Miniature Railroad and Village, USS Requin submarine, and more. North Side. 412-237-3400. CARRIE FURNACE. Built in 1907, Carrie Furnaces 6 & 7 are extremely rare examples of pre World War II iron-making technology. Rankin. 412-464-4020 x.21. CONNEY M. KIMBO GALLERY. University of Pittsburgh Jazz

SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT SATELLITE GALLERY. Kevin O’Toole: Recent Works. Wood sculptures. Downtown. 412-261-7003 x 29. THE SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT. ENOUGH Violence: Artists Speak Out. Feat. over 40 works by US & European contemporary artists. Strip District. 412-261-7003. SWEETWATER CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Pop Explosion: The Artist & Popular Culture. Group show juried by Nicholas Chambers. Sewickley. 412-741-4405. THE TOONSEUM. Color Me Happy. Feat. 1950s coloring book illustrations as modern memes. 412-232-0199. Wonder Women: On Page & Off. Feat. 70+ pieces of original art representing over 50 women artists, historical timeline tracing the history of women in comics & landmark events in women’s quest for equality from 1896 to present, more. Downtown. 412-232-0199. TUGBOAT PRINT SHOP. Tugboat Printshop. Open studio. Lawrenceville. 412-621-0663. UNDERCROFT GALLERY, FIRST UNITARIAN CHURCH. Nina Sowiski. Photographs. Closing reception: Feb. 26, 1-3 p.m. Shadyside. 412-621-8008. WESTMORELAND MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART. Pop-Up Exhibition: Sam Thorp & Brian Gonnella. Double Feature. New artwork by Brian Gonnella & Sam Thorp. Born of Fire: The Valley Work. Greensburg. 724-837-1500. WOOD STREET GALLERIES. Structures of Time & Space. Light installation by Erwin Redl. Downtown. 412-471-5605.

Exhibit: Memorabilia & Awards from the International Hall of Fame. Oakland. 412-648-7446. DEPRECIATION LANDS MUSEUM. Small living history museum celebrating the settlement and history of the Depreciation Lands. Allison Park. 412-486-0563. FALLINGWATER. Tour the famed Frank Lloyd Wright house. 724-329-8501. FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Tours of 13 Tiffany stained-glass windows. Downtown. 412-471-3436. FORT PITT MUSEUM. Unconquered: History Meets Hollywood at Fort Pitt. Original movie props, photographs, & costumes alongside 18th century artifacts & documents, comparing & contrasting historical events w/ Hollywood depictions. Reconstructed fort houses

museum of Pittsburgh history circa French & Indian War and American Revolution. Downtown. 412-281-9285. FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Ongoing: tours of Clayton, the Frick estate, with classes, car & carriage museum. Point Breeze. 412-371-0600. KENTUCK KNOB. Tour the other Frank Lloyd Wright house. 724-329-8501. KERR MEMORIAL MUSEUM. Tours of a restored 19th-century, middle-class home. Oakmont. 412-826-9295. MCGINLEY HOUSE & MCCULLY LOG HOUSE. Historic homes open for tours, lectures and more. Monroeville. 412-373-7794. NATIONAL AVIARY. Home to more than 600 birds from over 200 species. With classes, lectures, demos and more. North Side. 412-323-7235. NATIONALITY ROOMS. 26 rooms helping to tell the story of Pittsburgh’s immigrant past. University of Pittsburgh. Oakland. 412-624-6000. OLD ST. LUKE’S. Pioneer church features 1823 pipe organ, Revolutionary War graves. Scott. 412-851-9212. OLIVER MILLER HOMESTEAD. This pioneer/Whiskey Rebellion site features log house, blacksmith shop & gardens. South Park. 412-835-1554. PENNSYLVANIA TROLLEY MUSEUM. Trolley rides and exhibits. Includes displays, walking tours, gift shop, picnic area and Trolley Theatre. Washington. 724-228-9256. PHIPPS CONSERVATORY & BOTANICAL GARDEN. Orchid & Tropical Bonsai Show. 14 indoor rooms & 3 outdoor gardens feature exotic plants and ﬂoral displays from around the world. Garden Railroad. Dinosaur-themed train display. Oakland. 412-622-6914. PITTSBURGH ZOO & PPG AQUARIUM. Home to 4,000 animals, including many endangered species. Highland Park. 412-665-3639. RACHEL CARSON HOMESTEAD. A Reverence for Life. Photos and artifacts of her life & work. Springdale. 724-274-5459. RIVERS OF STEEL NATIONAL HERITAGE AREA. Exhibits on the Homestead Mill. Steel industry and community artifacts from 18811986. Homestead. 412-464-4020. SENATOR JOHN HEINZ HISTORY CENTER. From Slavery to Freedom. Highlight’s Pittsburgh’s role in the anti-slavery movement. Ongoing: Western PA Sports Museum, Clash of Empires, and exhibits on local history, more. Strip District. 412-454-6000. SEWICKLEY HEIGHTS HISTORY CENTER. Museum commemorates Pittsburgh industrialists, local history. Sewickley. 412-741-4487. SOLDIERS & SAILORS MEMORIAL HALL. Military museum dedicated to honoring military service members since

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC EVENT: Dan Wilcox’s

Onward to Mars at

New Hazlett Theater, North Side

CRITIC: Susan Swarthout, “over 21,” an artist from Lawrenceville WHEN: Sat.,

Feb. 08

DANCE. GLBTQ dance beneﬁting the Garden of Peace Project. 8 p.m. Cruze Bar, Strip District. 412-471-1400.

SAT 15

THURS, FEB • 13

CUPID’S UNDIE RUN. Benefits the Children’s Tumor Foundation. 2 p.m. Buckhead Saloon, Station Square. 724-205-1115. HARMONIEFEST. Dinner, building preservation awards, live music, more. Benefits Historic Harmony & Harmony Museum. 6 p.m. Harmony Museum, Harmony. 724-452-7341. VALENTINE’S DAY RACE. 5K, 10K & 15K. Benefits the RSG1 Foundation. 9 a.m. North Park, Allison Park. 724-272-8797.

[The show was] a multimedia, one-man performance with a science-fiction theme that was used to explore man’s yearnings for challenge, his fears [and] his loneliness. I liked when they inflated the space capsule, because you didn’t really know what it was coming to be, and it drew your attention. And I liked when he went inside of it and illuminated it with his presence. [But] I’m not sure [the show] totally held together. From the beginning, with the press conference, we had a feeling of who he was and what he was trying to accomplish. But when he got into the actual mission, I think we lost some of that. We lost the feeling of why he was there and what he was feeling. He wanted to incorporate music into it, but I’m not sure that the music fit as well with the other elements of it.

SUN 16

B Y ANGE L A SU IC O

THU 13

the Civil War through artifacts & personal mementos. Oakland. 412-621-4253. WEST OVERTON MUSEUMS. Learn about distilling and coke-making in this pre-Civil War industrial village. 724-887-7910.

company from Exhalations Dance Theatre. Feb. 14-15, 8 p.m. Kelly-Strayhorn Theater, East Liberty. 412-377-1333. STOMP. 8 p.m. and Sat., Feb. 15, 2 & 8 p.m. Palace Theatre, Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

HOLIDAY

WED 19

RED IS DEAD ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY PARTY. Performances by the Express Girls burlesque dancers, prizes, more. Free drink if you shred a picture of your ex at the “shred your ex” station. 8 p.m. Olive Or Twist, Downtown. 412-255-0525.

FUNDRAISERS THU 13

3RD ANNUAL VALENTINES PARTY: HAVE A HEART FOR ANIMALS. Silent A SWEET GESTURE: . w ww per auction, scavenger A NIGHT IN a p ty ci h pg hunt, live music, face VENICE. Food, drinks, .com painting, kissing & entertainment, more. petting booth w/ Pickles the Benefits the Children’s Dog, more. Donations accepted Hospital of Pittsburgh to benefit the Butler County Foundation Family Life Auxiliary. Humane Society. 6-9 p.m. 7-11 p.m. Inventionland, Blawnox. Bottlebrush Gallery & Shop, 412-692-3921. Harmony. 724-452-0539. TRAVIS: A SOLDIER’S STORY. Documentary screening about a US soldier in Afghanistan who was BACK TO BASICS BURLESQUE: hit by an IED & lost portions of GET YOUR HEART ON. both arms & legs. All contributions benefit Travis Mills Foundation. 7 p.m. Cattivo, Lawrenceville. 7:30 p.m. Carmike 10, Bethel Park. 412-687-2157. 412-835-7074.

FRI 14

FULL LIST ONLINE

DANCE FRI 14

FRI 14 - SAT 15

FRI 14

THE CHOREOGRAPHY PROJECT 2014. Feat. the senior dance

9PM ROCK SHOW

LES RACQUET WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

MEMPHIS HILL SMOKE FREE (ENTIRE VENUE)

FRI, FEB 14 • 9PM FOLK/BLUEGRASS/JAM

BLUE MOON SOUP SMOKE FREE (ENTIRE VENUE)

SAT, FEB 15 • 9PM ROCK AND ROMANCE IV WITH

BEAGLE BROTHERS, ELLIOT SUSSMAN & BLACK HAND NIGHT SMOKE FREE (ENTIRE VENUE)

BOOK ‘EM BOOKS TO PRISONERS WORK PARTY. Read & code letters, pick books, pack ‘em or database ‘em! Sundays 4-7 p.m. or by appt. Thomas Merton Center, Garﬁeld. 412-361-3022. YFAP VALENTINE’S PARTY. Live music, Filipino desserts, games, more. Beneﬁts the Filipino American Association of Pittsburgh. 6-10 p.m. Gaetano’s Restaurant, Dormont. 412-759-1317.

MON, FEB 17 • 9PM OPEN STAGE WITH SGD

TUES, FEB 18 • 9PM JAZZ SPACE EXCHANGE SERIES WITH CHRIS PARKER 3

WED, FEB 19 • 8PM REGGAE/FUNK

TROPIDELIC WITH STATIONERY PEBBLES SMOKE FREE (ENTIRE VENUE)

4023 BU TLER ST LAWREN CEVILLE 412.682.017 7

POLITICS GERTRUDE STEIN POLITICAL CLUB OF GREATER PITTSBURGH. Meetings of group devoted to LGBT issues in electoral politics. Second Thu of every month, 7 p.m. United Cerebral Palsy of Pittsburgh, Oakland. 412-521-2504.

LITERARY

SAME LOVE VALENTINE’S DAY

THE 3 POEMS BY . . Poetry discussion group feat. work by William Stafford. 7:30-9 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. ENGLISH LEARNERS’ BOOK CLUB. For advanced ESL students. Presented in cooperation w/ the Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council. Thu, 1 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR WRITER’S WORKSHOP. Young writers & recent graduates looking for additional feedback on their work. thehourafterhappyhour.wordpress. com Thu, 7-9 p.m. The Big Idea Bookstore & Cafe, Bloomﬁeld. 412-687-4323. SPANISH CONVERSATION CLUB. Second and Fourth Thu of every month, 6-7 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

M A I N F E AT U R E

TA S T E

MUSIC

“Single & Sexy

on the Southside”

VALENTINE’S D AY P ARTY VALENTINE’S DAY PARTY FRIDAY FEB 14TH

$5 Sexy Cocktails

$3 Chocolate Covered Cherry Shots

Love is in the air...

FRI 14

CONVERSATION SALON. Second Fri of every month, 2 p.m. and Fourth Wed of every month, 1 p.m. Northland Public Library, McCandless. 412-366-8100. CONTINUES ON PG. 52

NEWS

www.thunderbirdcafe.net

THU 13

SHEN YUN PERFORMING ARTS. Classical Chinese dance & music performance. Feb. 19-20, 7:30 p.m. Benedum Center, Downtown. 412-456-6666.

THU 13

JAZZ-6PM EARLY SHOW

ETHNIC HERITAGE ENSEMBLE

SCREEN

Cheers! Carm and Mike! 1908 Carson Street l Southside l 412-918-1215 LIKE US ON FACEBO OK

ARTS

EVENTS

CLASSIFIEDS

BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 51

LET’S READ ENGLISH. Book club for non-native English speakers. Second Fri of every month, 2 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

SAT 15 ITALIAN CONVERSATION. Third and First Sat of every month, 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. PENNWRITERS SPRINGDALE WRITERS GROUP. Third Sat of every month Springdale Free Public Library, Springdale. 724-274-9729.

SUN 16 POETIC STRINGS: THE THRILL IS NEVER GONE: MUSIC THAT SHAPED US. Poetry reading by members of the Squirrel Hill Writers’ Studio. Part of the Black History Month Celebration. 2 p.m. Carnegie Library, Squirrel Hill. 412-422-9650.

MON 17 COMICS DECODED BOOK CLUB. Third Mon of every month, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. OUT OF THE GUTTER: GRAPHIC NOVEL DISCUSSION GROUP. Third Mon of every month, 6:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

TUE 18 JAPANESE CONVERSATION CLUB. First and Third Tue of every month, 6-7 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice conversational English. Tue, 6 p.m. Carnegie Library, Squirrel Hill. 412-422-9650. PITTSBURGH CONTINENTAL PHILOSOPHY READING GROUP. Tue, 6 p.m. East End Book Exchange, Bloomﬁeld. 412-224-2847.

WED 19 CARNEGIE KNITS & READS. Informal knitting session. First and Third Wed of every month, 4:30-5:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

KIDSTUFF THU 13 - WED 19

BACKYARD EXHIBIT. Musical swing set, sandbox, solar-powered instruments, more. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. BALL. 500 beach balls, larger inﬂatable balls, a disco ball & music. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. PRINTMAKING. Thru Feb. 27, 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. TOUGH ART. Interactive artworks by Chris Beauregard, Katie Ford, Scott Garner, Isla Hansen & Luke Loefﬂer. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

FRI 14 EVENING ED-VENTURES: CONSERVATION INVESTIGATION. Come solve a conservation mystery & re-purpose an old product to make something new. Ages 6-9. 6:30-9:30 p.m. Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland. 412-441-4442 x 3925.

SAT 15 MARTY’S MARKET KIDS’ CORNER. Ages 5-11. Sat, 3-5 p.m. Marty’s Market, Strip District. 412-586-7177.

SAT 15 - SUN 16

WII WEDNESDAYS. Ages 10+. Wed, 3:30 p.m. Thru April 30 Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

OUTSIDE TUE 18

SURVIVAL BASICS. Tue, 3-4:30 p.m. Schenley Park, Oakland. 412-477-4677.

WED 19 WEDNESDAY MORNING WALK. Naturalist-led, rain or shine. Wed Beechwood Farms, Fox Chapel. 412-963-6100.

OTHER STUFF

STUDIO: LOVE LETTERS. Use traditional letter writing materials including postcards, stamps, BLACK HISTORY MONTH: even a manual typewriter, to GETTING STARTED IN AFRICAN craft a message to someone or AMERICAN GENEALOGY something you love. Feb. 15-16, RESEARCH. 12:15 p.m. Carnegie 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Children’s Library, Downtown. 412-281-7141. Museum of Pittsburgh, CHINESE CONVERSATION North Side. 412-322-5058. CLUB. Second Thu of THE ZANY UMBRELLA every month, 6-7 p.m. CIRCUS: THE GIFT. and Fourth Thu Theatrical performance of every month, based loosely on O. . 6-7 p.m. Carnegie www per Henry’s The Gift of a p ty ci Library, Oakland. pgh m the Magi. Sat, Sun, .co 412-622-3151. 1 & 3 p.m. Thru March 2 CONVERSATIONAL Children’s Museum of CHINESE & CHINESE Pittsburgh, North Side. CULTURE. Thu, 7 p.m. Thru 412-322-5058. Feb. 27 Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. XOXO: AN EXHIBIT ABOUT LOVE 412-531-1912. THE DEN: A SPECIAL & FORGIVENESS. Explore love & PROGRAMMING SERIES FOR forgiveness through interactive NEW ADULTS. Video games, experiences. Ongoing Children’s board games, easy drop-in art Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. projects, book discussions, more. 412-322-5058. Second and Fourth Thu of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. TEACHER FROM THE BLACK GAME NITE AT THE ARCADE. LAGOON. Musical revue based Interactive games, hosted by on the books Teacher from the Mike Buzzelli. Second Thu Black Lagoon, Dogzilla, I Want of every month, 8 p.m. Arcade My Hat Back, Love, & Splat. Comedy Theater, Downtown. Ages 3-10. Presented by the 412-339-0608. Pittsburgh International Children’s HOMO-AEROBICS. Presented Theater. 2 p.m. Seneca Valley by Rhinestone Steel Queer Intermediate School, Harmony. Pittsburgh. Thu, 7-8 p.m. Thru 412-456-6666. March 6 Irma Freeman Center for Imagination, Garﬁeld. 724-699-2613. TUESDAY CRAFTERNOON. For INTERMEDIATE ITALIAN. Thu, students in grades 1-3. Tue, 4 p.m. 6:45-8:15 p.m. Thru March 27 Thru Feb. 25 Mount Lebanon Wilkins School Community Center, Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. Swissvale. 412-478-2681. 412-531-1912. INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S ASSOCIATION OF PITTSBURGH. Social, cultural club of American/ BOOT CAMP WORKOUT. Ages international women. Thu First 8-18. Wed, 6-7 p.m. Thru April Baptist Church, Oakland. iwap. 30 Brookline Community Center, pittsburgh@gmail.com. Brookline. 412-571-3222. MEDITATION & WHOLE LIFE EZ MATH WORKSHOP. For TRANSFORMATION. Supreme students in grades 3-6. Wed, Meditation & the Science of 6 p.m. Thru Feb. 26 Mount Transformation w/ Acharya Lebanon Public Library, Kedar. Free public program. Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. Doors open at 7:15, seating ends TEACHER FROM THE BLACK at 8 p.m. 7:15 p.m. Winchester LAGOON. Musical revue based Thurston, Upper School, Shadyside. on the books Teacher from the 724-420-5826. Black Lagoon, Dogzilla, I Want MEET ‘N MAKE. Open crafting My Hat Back, Love, & Splat. Ages night. Second Thu of every 3-10. Presented by the Pittsburgh International Children’s Theater. month, 6-8 p.m. Pittsburgh 7 p.m. Penn Hills High School, Center for Creative Reuse, Penn Hills. 412-456-6666. Homewood. 412-473-0100.

THU 13

FULL LIST ONLINE

SAT 15 - WED 19

SUN 16

TUE 18

WED 19

OPEN STUDIO NIGHT. Ages 21+. Second Thu of every month, 6-8 p.m. Pittsburgh Center for Creative Reuse, Homewood. 412-473-0100. OPEN STUDIO NIGHT: RAILING TO SCARF PARTY. Convert black railing covers from the Knit the Bridge installation into scarves for the East End Cooperative Ministry shelters. 6-8 p.m. Pittsburgh Center for Creative Reuse, Homewood. 412-473-0100. PFLAG BUTLER. Support, education & advocacy for the LGBTQ community, family & friends. Second Thu of every month, 7 p.m. Covenant Presbyterian Church, Butler. 412-518-1515. PLAYING IT (TOO) SAFE: PLAY, PLAYGROUNDS, AND THE VALUE OF RISK. Short presentations & community conversation about the importance of risk & adventure in well-designed playgrounds, transforming & stewarding neighborhood parks, more. Part of the 2013 Carnegie International. 6:30-8 p.m. Carnegie Museum of Art, Oakland. 412-622-3131. RENAISSANCE DANCE GUILD. Learn a variety of dances from the 15-17th centuries. Porter Hall, Room A18A. Thu, 8 p.m. Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland. 412-567-7512. WEST COAST SWING. Swing dance lessons for all levels. Thu, 7 p.m. Pittsburgh Dance Center, Bloomﬁeld. 412-681-0111. WINTER VERMICOMPOSTING WORKSHOP. Presented by the PA Resources Council. 7-8:30 p.m. Phipps Garden Center, Shadyside. 412-488-7490 x 226.

THU 13 - SUN 16 ALLEGHENY SPORTS, TRAVEL, & OUTDOOR SHOW. Thru Feb. 16 Monroeville Convention Center, Monroeville. 216-529-1300.

FRI 14 AFRICAN DANCE CLASS. Second and Third Fri of every month and Fourth and Last Fri of every month Irma Freeman Center for Imagination, Garﬁeld. 412-924-0634. BUSHY RUN BATTLEFIELD HERITAGE SOCIETY LECTURE. Talk by Emily Weaver, curator of the Fort Pitt Block House. 1 p.m. Bushy Run Battleﬁeld, Jeannette. 724-527-5584 x.102. CRAFTS & DRAFTS: SECRET MESSAGES. Beginner-friendly Valentine’s Day-themed metal stamping project. Beer provided by Church Brew Works. 6-9 p.m. The Society for Contemporary Craft, Strip District. 412-261-7003. JUBILEE PROFESSIONAL. 1-day conference to learn from practitioners, professionals & Christian thought leaders on how to apply biblical truth to work & professional life. 1 p.m. Westin Convention Center Hotel, Downtown. 412-281-3752 x223.

[LITERARY]

“In the final stages of his disease, he would gaze up at me as if he were my baby — make cooing sounds, smile crookedly, and grasp at my nose, lips, ears, and breasts and he’d giggle and I’d giggle too and make my best mommy noises back, stretching the flesh on my face into silly expressions. Maybe his eyes had gone too, the way of his atrophied brain and all he could see was a blur of color and motion — but I saw him seeing something that I couldn’t see, which made him coo for hours on end — new galaxies being born, or maybe some kind of vision reserved for the dying.” — EXCERPT FROM SOMETIMES SLOWLY BY ELISE D’HAENE

Elise D’Haene reads with Heather McNaugher

and Carolyne Whelan as part of the Versify series at East End Book Exchange. 7 p.m. Sat., Feb. 15. 4754 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. 412-224-2847 or www.eastendbookexchange.com

LEBO NERDFIGHTERS. Open discussion of all things nerdy. For high school & college students. 3:15 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. ONE BILLION BEEN RISING. Rally to end gender-based violence. 12 p.m. Market Square, Downtown. 412-450-0290.

Thru Feb. 15 Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. DAVID JOSELIT. Carnegie Mellon School of Art’s Lecture Series. 5 p.m. Kresge Theater, CMU, Oakland. 412-279-2970. DIVORCE 101 WORKSHOP. 8:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Legend Financial Advisors, Ross. 412-837-1773. DOMINIC LOUIS FASHION PRESENTATION. Archive collection presentation by designer Louis Mairone. 7 p.m. Artisan, Garfield. DOOR PANEL REPLACEMENT WORKSHOP. 10-11:30 a.m. Landmarks Housing Resource Center, Wilkinsburg. 412-471-5808 x 527. EMPATHY FIRST. A compassionate communication & conflict transformation study group based on the work of peace activist, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. First and Third Sat of every month, 2 p.m. 412-271-7660. KOREAN FOR BEGINNERS. Sat, 1-2:30 p.m. Thru April 26 Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. KOREAN II. For those who already have a basic understanding of Korean & are interested in increasing proficiency. Sat, 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Thru April 26 Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

FRI 14 - SUN 16 ADVANCE AUTO PARTS MONSTER JAM. Feb. 14-16 Consol Energy Center, Uptown. 412-642-1800.

SAT 15 ARTS & DRAFTS: AN ARTIST NETWORKING ROUNDTABLE. An evening of networking & resource building w/ local legal, marketing, & grant writing experts. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Future Tenant, Downtown. 412-567-8861. BALKAN DANCE PARTY. Folk dance lessons, live music, more. Third Sat of every month, 7:30 p.m. Thru June 21 BulgarianMacedonian National Education and Cultural Center, West Homestead. 412-461-6188. THE CIVIL WAR ERA: A GEOGRAPHIC FOCUS. Discussion w/ Rodger Duffy. Third Mon of every month, 10 a.m. and Third Sat of every month, 10:30 a.m.

LUNAR GALA FASHION SHOW: HYPNOSE. Student-led event spanning many majors in celebration of the Chinese New Year. www.cmulunargala.com 7 p.m. Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland. 412-268-2000. PRO WRESTLING EXPRESS. 7:30 p.m. Wrestleplex, McKeesport. 412-651-2138. SATURDAY NIGHT SALSA CRAZE. Free lessons, followed by dancing. Sat, 10 p.m. La Cucina Flegrea, Downtown. 412-708-8844. SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed. Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington. 412-683-5670. SPANISH CONVERSATION GROUP. Friendly, informal. At the Starbucks inside Target. Sat, 3:30-5:30 p.m. Target, East Liberty. 412-362-6108. SWING CITY. Learn & practice swing dancing skills. Sat, 8 p.m. Wightman School, Squirrel Hill. 412-759-1569.

Real hook ups, real fast.

Free

TRY FOR

SAT 15 - SUN 16

FLAMINGOFEST. Flamingo facts, flamingo stories, flamingo crafts, & a uniquely choreographed dance performed by our flamingos. Feb. 15-17, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. National Aviary, North Side. 412-323-7235.

Try it Free!

412.566.1861 Local Numbers: 1.800.926.6000 Ahora en Español 18+

SUN 16 AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS CAFE. Weekly letter writing event. Sun, 4-6 p.m. Panera Bread, Oakland. 412-683-3727. ARABIC FOR BEGINNERS. Second Sun of every month, 2-3 p.m. and Third Sun of every month, 2-3 p.m. Thru April 20 Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. ARGENTINE TANGO CLASSES. Sun, 5-6 p.m. Thru Feb. 16 Wilkins School Community Center, Swissvale. 412-661-2480. CHINESE II. First Sun of every month, 2-3 p.m. and Third Sun of every month, 2-3 p.m. Thru April 20 Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. THE ILLUSION OF “TRUTH”. w/ Tom Nehrer. Theosophical Society of Pittsburgh. 1:30-3 p.m. Chatham University, Shadyside. 412-462-4200. MILITARY MINIATURES DAY. Display of hand-painted toy soldiers & war-gaming dioramas feat. late 18th & early 19th century armies of North America & Europe. 12-5 p.m. Woodville Plantation, Bridgeville. 412-221-0348. PFLAG GREENSBURG. Support, education & advocacy for the LGBTQ community, family & friends. Third Sun of every month, 2 p.m. Trinity United Church of Christ, Greensburg. 412-518-1515. STEEL CITY ROLLER DERBY HOME GAME & VALENTINE’S DAY SCRIMMAGE. 5 p.m. Romp & Roll Skating Rink, Glenshaw. 412-486-4117.

www.livelinks.com

PITTSBURGH’S PREMIER GENTLEMEN’S CLUB 1635 West Carson St.

OPEN LATE Thursday 7pm-2am Friday-Saturday 7pm-4am

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MON 17

Where the Magazine Comes to Life!

THE CIVIL WAR ERA: A GEOGRAPHIC FOCUS. Discussion w/ Rodger Duffy. Third Mon of every month, 10 a.m. and Third Sat of every month, 10:30 a.m. Thru Feb. 15 Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. MORNING SPANISH LITERATURE & CONVERSATION. Mon, 10 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. MT. LEBANON GENEALOGY SOCIETY. Family history research video screening & Q&A. 1 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. OVERCOMING THE STUMBLING BLOCKS OF GENEALOGY RESEARCH. 1-3 p.m. Westmoreland County Historical Society, Greensburg. 724-532-1935 x210. RUSSIAN FOR BEGINNERS. First Mon of every month, 6:30-7:30 p.m. and Third Mon of every month, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Thru April 21 Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed. Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington. 412-683-5670. SPELLING BEE WITH DAVE AND KUMAR. Mon Lava Lounge, South Side. 412-431-5282.

TUE 18

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

of average singing ability, with or without vocal training is welcome. www.soundsofpgh.org Mon, 7 p.m. 412-279-6062. THE THEATRE FACTORY KIDWORKS. Auditions for Charlotte’s Web. Feb. 16-17. Males/females age 6+, cold readings from the script. tfauditions@gmail.com The Theatre Factory. 724-454-7193.

[VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY]

ASSEMBLE

Like other spaces in the Bloomfield-Garfield “arts corridor,” Assemble hosts performances and displays visual art. But this volunteer-run organization is also home to a host of hands-on workshops and resources, including Saturday Crafternoons, M3 (Materials, Media & Me) and Make It! New folks are needed to help with various programs. Volunteers will receive program-specific training and are asked to commit to a semester of their program. For information, email Louise Larson at louise@assemblepgh.org. SPANISH II. Geared toward those who already have a basic understanding of Spanish & are interested in increasing proﬁciency. First and Third Wed of every month, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. WEST COAST SWING WEDNESDAYS. Swing dance lessons. Wed, 9 p.m. The Library, South Side. 916-287-1373.

BEGINNER ITALIAN. Tue, 6:45-8:15 p.m. Thru March 25 ABC’S EXTREME WEIGHT LOSS. Wilkins School Community Weight-loss show casting call. Center, Swissvale. 412-478-2681. Feb. 22, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Visit www. READER’S THEATER GENERAL extremeweighlosscasting.com MEETING. This group rehearses for information. Rock Bottom, pieces & then performs for senior Waterfront. 412-462-2739. living facilities in the South Hills. LINCOLN PARK PERFORMING Third Tue of every month, 2 p.m. ARTS CENTER PROFESSIONAL Thru Feb. 18 Mount Lebanon COMPANY. Auditions for Jesus Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. Christ Superstar in Concert. 412-531-1912. March 22-23. Seeking VALUES IN ACTION: Principal Singing Roles, YOUTH POWER Male & Female Dancer/ CREATES CHANGE. Singers Ensemble, Presented by Charlene & the Superstar www. per Carruthers, MSW. a p Choir. www. pghcitym Kresge Theater. www. .co centerauditions.org/ facebook.com/byp100 index.php/professional4-6 p.m. Carlow University, company/jesus-christ-superstar Oakland. 412-578-8749. Lincoln Park Performing Arts Center. 724-259-6443. MCCAFFERY MYSTERIES. BEATING THE SUGAR BLUES. Ongoing auditions for actors ages The holistic health coaches of 18+ for murder mystery shows Sweat & Butter explain the common causes of sugar cravings & performed in the Pittsburgh area. 412-833-5056. offer practical tools & methods for RHYTHM HOUSE MUSIC dealing with them. Call to reserve GROUP. Auditions for the a spot. 6:30 p.m. East End Food Summer Music Fest at Co-op, Point Breeze. 412-242-3598. Monogahela Aquatorium. ENGLISH CONVERSATION March 8. Open to singers (ESL). Wed, 10 a.m. Mount & performers of all genres. Lebanon Public Library, www.eventbrite.com/e/openMt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. auditions-calling-all-genresLET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice tickets-10350461509?aff=efbevent conversational English. Wed, Paradise Bar. 724-305-0669. 5-6 p.m. Carnegie Library, SWEET ADELINES Oakland. 412-622-3151. INTERNATIONAL. Seeking women PITTSBURGH CAREER FAIR. of all ages who enjoy singing for Hosted by United Career Fairs. the Sounds of Pittsburgh Chorus 6 p.m. DoubleTree Monroeville, Global Open House. Any woman Monroeville. 847-428-1118.

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WED 19

412.904.3191

THE PITTSBURGH SHOW OFFS. A meeting of jugglers & spinners. All levels welcome. Wed, 7:30 p.m. Union Project, Highland Park. 412-363-4550. SOFT IN THE HEAD FILM SCREENING. Q&A w/ ﬁlmmaker Nathan Silver to follow. Presented by J Film. 7 p.m. Pittsburgh Filmmakers, Oakland. 412-992-5203.

THROUGHLINE THEATRE COMPANY. Auditions for 2014 season. Feb. 15-16. Men/women, 1-2 min. monologue & cold readings. www.throughline theatre.org The Grey Box Theatre, Lawrenceville. 412-586-7744.

SUBMISSIONS ACTING OUT! PITTSBURGH PRIDE THEATER FESTIVAL. Accepting submissions for showcase of locally written lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender-theme 1-act plays. Manuscript details at facebook. com/events/519459561475242/ 412-256-8109. BLAST FURNACE. Seeking poems with the theme of the mysterious and the magical in the everyday for Blast Furnace Volume 4, issue 1. Submit no more than 3 of your best poems. Visit blastfurnace.submittable.com/ Submit for submission guidelines. Deadline: March 15. FRESH HEIRLOOMS MARKETPLACE. Seeking local & regional artisans & crafters for spring indoor marketplace. freshheirlooms. com/2014/01/call-for-artists-inour-new-marketplace/ THE GALLERY 4. Seeking submissions for Salon Show 2014. Send image files of up to 5 finished pieces to thegallery4@gmail. com. Include title, dimensions, & medium(s) & write SALON APPLICANT 2014 in the subject line. Deadline: March 22. Call or email for info. Shadyside. 412-363-5050. THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR REVIEW. Seeking submissions in all genres for fledgling literary magazine curated by members of the Hour After Happy Hour Writing Workshop. afterhappyhourreview.com. WASHINGTON PA FILM FESTIVAL. Seeking films 90 min. or less. Complete rules & entry form at www.highland ridgecdc.org. 724-678-4225.

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I am an 18-year-old pansexual girl. I’m in a relationship with a guy who is a bit younger. We get along great, our friends like us together, yada yada yada. He wants to do the waiting-until-marriage thing for sex. I’m cool with that. He wants to do this for religious reasons, which I mostly agree with: We met in youth group, after all. I lost the big V about a year ago. He knows about that, isn’t happy about it (’cause he hasn’t), but is willing to date me anyway. What hasn’t come up is the subject of porn and masturbation. He doesn’t do either (or won’t fess up) and doesn’t approve. I do both. The porn I am willing to forgo, but I don’t want to give up pleasuring myself. This guy knows nothing. He has talked about how we ought to “keep ourselves pure.” (My thoughts on purity: I’ve already screwed that up!) Is there a good way to communicate that I’m not going to give up masturbating? It took long enough just to show him I wasn’t the spawn of Satan because I like girls as much as I like guys. Should I try giving up masturbation? Or not tell him about what I do in my own bedroom? MISMATCHED ON SEX

I’m wondering if you have any advice. UNATTRACTIVE GUY LONGINGLY YEARNS

Did you see Louis C.K.’s most recent comedy special? He does this bit about shlumpy guys — guys like him — who don’t have much luck with women when they’re young. “I like getting older,” he says. “My sex life? Way better at 45 … I’d like to make one of those ‘It Gets Better’ ads for dumpy young guys. We could use a little help.” Louis C.K.’s advice for you: “Stay relatively employed and washed; you’re going to be amazing in your 40s. You’re going to be the branch that she can grab before she hits the ground. It’s going to be so great. It just takes time for her circumstances to match your looks. When real shit matters, you’re going to be the sexiest motherfucker in the world.” My advice: Keep working on your depression, throw yourself into nonsexual pursuits that you enjoy, build a career, locate and patronize (and overtip) an independent sex worker (which can help you learn to interact with women), and don’t allow bitterness to ruin you for your 40s.

THE BEST WAY TO COMMUNICATE TO THIS BOY THAT YOU AREN’T GONNA GIVE UP MASTURBATION IS TO BREAK UP WITH HIM.

The best way to communicate to this boy that you aren’t gonna give up masturbation is to break the fuck up with him. Your boyfriend is essentially forcing you to pick between him or masturbation, and the choice is obvious: Masturbation is a pleasurable friend that doesn’t judge or shame you, and your boyfriend is a sexnegative, controlling, judgmental scold. After you’ve enjoyed a few dozen guiltfree orgasms, ask yourself why you wasted even two minutes of your time on a guy with whom you’re clearly not sexually compatible. You’re pansexual! Somewhat sexually experienced! You masturbate! You enjoy porn! I could understand dating a guy who was a virgin and wanted to remain sexually inactive for now, but dating someone you had to talk out of seeing you as the spawn of Satan? Someone you have to lie to about something as common and healthy as masturbation? Not worth it. You want to be with someone who likes you and wants to be with you, and this boy doesn’t. Finally: I hope that parenthetical in your second paragraph was meant sarcastically. But just in case: Being sexually active does not make you “impure.” I think you know that, but I want you to get out of this relationship while you still believe it. I’m a 24-year-old straight male and I’m unattractive. Physically I’m not bad, but I’ve suffered from extreme depression all my life. I’ve gotten help, and it’s made me a little better. But low self-esteem and lethargy aren’t exactly the best things for attracting the opposite sex. I’ve never felt romantic chemistry with a woman, and I’m losing faith that it will ever happen. I’ve always tried to respect women, but my inability to attract them sometimes leaves me feeling resentful. I don’t want to become a bitter men’s-rights activist, so

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

The first hit is free. Actually, so are all the others.

What is the lesbian synonym for twink? CAN’T ASK LESBIAN FRIENDS

I tossed your question to the wolves who follow me on Twitter, and got a few suggestions: twyke, dykelet, and Bieber. But the term of art is “baby dyke.” I expected more from your response to the manager who was attempting to advise a “Mexican” employee having romantic problems. Unless the word Mexican was used to describe a loyal, honest, eager worker, I’m not sure how it was germane. I was surprised you didn’t address this with ERR. It seems to underlie, and subliminally support, some people’s predisposed — OK, prejudicial — views. Here’s a fun exercise: Replace the word Mexican with the word “black” in ERR’s question. Now try Jew. Now try Russian … French … Italian … Thousand Islands? (Kidding, but this is a restaurant we’re talking about.) See how the descriptor can change the feel of the story, without being part of it? TIM IN TORONTO

A lot of immigrants from Mexico — documented and undocumented — work in restaurants in the United States. Having worked in restaurants myself, and having worked with a lot of Mexican immigrants, I thought the detail was germane for this reason: N ew or relatively new residents are often bafﬂed by our strange sexual mores, which can include married ladies sleeping with restaurant workers who aren’t their husbands. (This never happens in Mexico, of course, because Mexican wives are loyal and honest and eager.) During my years in the restaurant industry, I witnessed many decent restaurant managers help their Mexican employees navigate the unfamiliar social, political and sexual mores and expectations they were encountering. So the detail struck me as relevant and benign. On the Lovecast, why divorce rates are so high among religious conservatives: savagelovecast.com.

SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE

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FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

02.12-02.19

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Do you feel oppressed by Valentine’s Day? Maybe you’re single and reject the cultural bias that says being in an intimate relationship is the healthy norm. Or maybe you’re part of a couple but are allergic to the cartoonish caricatures of romance that bombard you during the Valentine marketing assault. If you’d rather consecrate love and intimacy in your own unique way, untainted by the stereotypes ﬂying around, I invite you to rebel. Make this the year you overthrow the old ways and start a new tradition: Valentine’s Day 2.0. Mock sappy, sentimental expressions of romance even as you carry out futuristic experiments in radically slaphappy love.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

“I have come to be fascinated with the messiness of desire,” writes novelist Ashley Warlick, “with the ways people ﬁt themselves together, take themselves apart for each other, for want of each other, for want of some parts of each other.” Your assignment, Pisces, is to celebrate the messiness of desire; to not just grudgingly accept it as an inconvenience you’ve got to tolerate, but rather to marvel at it, be amused by it, and appreciate it for all the lessons it provides. Your motto this Valentine season could be, “I bless the messy largesse of my longing.”

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

In her TED talk, science writer Mary Roach made it clear that human beings don’t need genital stimulation to experience orgasms. She spoke of a woman who routinely reaches ecstatic climax by having her eyebrows caressed, and another woman who reaches the big O simply by brushing her teeth. Then there’s the woman who can simply think herself into coming, no physical touch necessary. I can’t guarantee that a similar aptitude will suddenly turn on in you, Aries, but the coming days could bring you as close as you have ever been. Right now you’re a connoisseur of deep pleasure — a blessed bliss master.

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20):

“The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself,” writes blogger Sahaj Kohli. N othing else rescues you from that quest, either, I would add. Sooner or later, whether it’s now or 20 years in the future, you will have to master this fine art. It’s not enough to merely feel affection for yourself; not enough to seek pleasure and avoid pain. You’ve got to make extensive investigations to discover what it means to love yourself; you have to develop rigorous plans for how to accomplish it; and you must fire up a deep commitment as you actually carry out those plans. By the way, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to work on mastering this fine art.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

“Drunk with my madness, I shouted at him furiously, ‘Make life beautiful! Make life beautiful!’” So says a character in a prose poem by Charles Baudelaire. And now, even though I am neither drunk nor furious nor consumed with madness, I am whispering the same command to you. I hope you will respond by embarking on a heroic effort to make life beautiful everywhere you go. The astrological omens suggest that if you do, you will be inundated with practical blessings that are as valuable as money. This will also be an excellent way to drum up the kind of love you crave.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

Here’s what I wish for you during the Valentine season: to be happily in love with an intimate partner who loves you back. If that’s not feasible, here’s what I hope: that you are learning provocative lessons about yourself through your growthinducing relationship with a close ally. And if you’re not blessed with either of those experiences, here’s a third alternative: that you cherish your fathomless longing for its own sake, feeling wonder and reverence for its wild power even if it’s unfulﬁlled.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

Making eye contact is essential for building potent links with people you care about. It bypasses rational thought, stimulating chemical reactions in your bodies that enhance empathy and intimacy. In practicing the art of love, it’s one of the most potent moves you can make. This Valentine season would be an excellent time for you Leos to explore the frontiers of what’s possible through prolonged eye contact. Start here: Cultivate a sincere desire to know what’s simmering inside the souls of your dearest allies. With that as your driving force, your gaze won’t be clouded by shyness or self-consciousness.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

“I prefer an ecstatic orgasm to a lot of angst,” says Filipino artist David Medalla. I hope you consider making that your battle cry during this Valentine season. It would be in rapt harmony with the current cosmic omens. There really is no need for you to get sidelined by anxiety or distracted by stress when the natural remedy is so easily available. In every way you can imagine, Virgo, ﬁght off sourness and dourness by engaging in acts of joy and pleasure.

weekends, what you read, who you know, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.” Are you in love, Scorpio? With either a person, a beloved animal, a certain patch of land, your creative work or life itself? If not, there’s no excuse! Astrologically speaking, it’s an excellent time for you to be stupendously in love with someone or something — anything! If you are already in this state, trust your intuition to make it even smarter and ﬁner.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

Borrowing the words of Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks), I’ve prepared a love note for you to use as your own. Give it to a person whose destiny needs to be woven more closely together with yours: “You are the sky my spirit circles in, the love inside love, the resurrection-place.” Would you like even more inspirational words to deliver to your chosen one? I hope so. Be greedy for lyrical bonding. Lust for springy intimacy. Feed your churning yearning. Try saying this, lifted from the book The Last Unicorn: “We are two sides of the same magic.” And be sure to say this, paraphrased

from Buddhist teacher Thich N hat Hanh: “I love you in a way that will always make you feel free.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

“People think a soul mate is your perfect ﬁt,” says author Elizabeth Gilbert. “But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back … They tear down your walls and smack you awake … shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you … transform your life.” Does that sound like the kind of person you want in your life, Capricorn? Or do you prefer someone who likes what you like, appreciates you just as you are, and makes your life more secure and comfortable? This Valentine season is a good time to make or renew your commitment to one choice or the other. Whatever you decide, you’re likely to experience it on a richer, deeper level during the next 12 months. Write yourself a nice long love letter. Send a copy to me if you like: FreeWillAstrology.com.

get your yoga on!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

In her poem “Implications of One Plus One,” Marge Piercy marvels at the way she and her long-term partner keep finding new nuances in their love-making. “Ten years of fitting our bodies together / and still they sing wild songs in new keys,” she writes. What’s their secret? It’s “timing, chemistry, magic and will and luck.” What I wish for you this Valentine season, Libra, is that you will have access to all five of those ingredients as you reinvigorate your relationship to love. More importantly — based on the current cosmic omens — I predict you will have access to them.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

Jesuit priest Pedro Arrupe touted the practical value of being totally in love. “What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything,” he said. “It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, how you spend your

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

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WORK 58 + STUDIES 59 + WELLNESS 60 + LIVE 62 + SERVICES 62

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Help Wanted! make extra money in our free ever popular homemailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www. easywork-fromhome. com (AAN CAN)

$1,000 WEEKLY!! MAILING BROCHURES From Home. Helping home workers since 2001. Genuine Opportunity. No Experience required. Start Immediately www. mailingmembers.com (AAN CAN)

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HELP WANTED

VOLUNTEERS

SHEET METAL WORKER’S LOCAL UNION #12 JOB OPPORTUNITIES Longwall Coal Miners: New Mining Complex in Southern Illinois. Submit resumes to: resumes@vikingmining.com

WANTED! 36 PEOPLE to Lose Weight. 30-day money back guarantee. Herbal Program. Also opportunity to earn up to $1,000 monthly. 1-800-492-4437

www.healthnutrition pittsburgh.com

Become a volunteer tutor and help an adult learn to read. Contact Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council at 412.393.7600 or gplc.org Open up a Life We have a waiting list of 200 adults who need your help.

Training Center 1200 Gulf Lab Road, Pittsburgh, PA 15238-1304 Applications for testing are accepted year-round and can be made in person at our Training Center, Monday-Friday from 8:00am to 4:00pm or online at www.smlocal12. org. The Apprentice test will be given on Saturday March 15th 2014 at 10:00am at the University of Pittsburgh. Payment is to be made no later than March 10th 2014.

QUALIFICATIONS: High School Diploma (by July 1, 2014) or GED, valid PA drivers license and reliable transportation. There is a non-refundable testing fee of $25.00 that must be paid at the time the application is made. Cash, money order, or certiﬁed check are the only acceptable terms of payment, no personal checks will be accepted.

ECM Transport is NOW HIRING Regional Road & Local Drivers (10) Local Driver Positions at $19 per hour (20) Regional Road Positions at .50CPM

For directions or additional information, please call (412) 828-1386 or visit our website at www.smlocal12.org

Excellent Home Time, Benefits, 401k

Sheet Metal Workers Local Union #12 is an equal opportunity employer

Apply online at ecmtransport.com or call us at 800-548-7379, ext. 7506

JOB OPPORTUNITIES

Longwall Coal Miners New Mining Complex in Southern Illinois We are seeking candidates with experience in longwall mining to ﬁll the positions on our Longwall Crew at our new coal mining complex in Illinois. A rapidly growing world-class coal producer with more than 28 million tpy of productive capacity and more than 3 billion tons of reserves in the Illinois Basin. Currently operating four of the most productive underground coal mines in the United States.

Longwall Foreman Longwall Electrician Longwall Shift Maintenance Foreman QUALIFICATIONS: Longwall mining experience is required. SKILLS AND ABILITIES: Demonstrates by example a commitment to working safely. High level of energy with ability to work independently and with limited direction.

APPLY TODAY: Qualiﬁed Applicants please submit resumes to: resumes@vikingmining.com

DISCLAIMER: ALTHOUGH MOST ADVERTISING IN PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER ARE LEGITIMATE BUSINESSES, PRIOR TO INVESTING MONEY OR USING A SERVICE LOCATED WITHIN ANY SECTION OF THE CLASSIFIEDS WE SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURE: ASK FOR REFERENCES & BUSINESS LICENSE NUMBER, OR CALL/WRITE: THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU AT 412-456-2700 / 300 SIXTH AVE., STE 100-UL / PITTSBURGH, PA 15222. REMEMBER: IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT USUALLY IS! 58

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

Ink Well

STUDIES

OUTSOURCING

{BY BEN TAUSIG}

CLINICAL STUDIES

CLINICAL STUDIES Place your Classified advertisment in City Paper. Call 412.316.3342

Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

Looking to ﬁll an open position? Advertise in City Paper’s “WORK” section and reach over 250,000 people who read CP classiﬁeds!

ENDOMETRIOSIS? CALL TODAY!

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BUY and SELL your HOME all in the Same Place! Advertise here in the “LIVE” section of the City Paper

CONSTIPATION? CALL TODAY!

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DIABETES? Call Preferred Primary Care Physicians at

ACROSS

412-650-6155

1. With “job,” what a 56-Across might do 5. With “job,” what a 37-Across might do 9. With “job,” what a 25-Across might do 13. “Sun Sign Horoscope” columnist Sydney 15. Maria Callas performance 16. Mitt Romney’s ﬁrm 17. See 66-Across 19. Inner: Preﬁx 20. “Likewise” 21. Skywalker’s father 22. Pitcher’s faux pas 25. See 9-Across 29. Some old-school hip-hop dancers 31. Place for corrections 32. Dugout, perhaps 33. Letters before an intended recipient’s name 34. Insemination alternative: Abbr. 37. See 5-Across 40. Tail 41. Spanish liqueur 42. Like some stressfree environments? 44. Academic discipline 45. Words from one asking for a smack? 46. See 55-Across 51. Be overrun 52. “The Terminator” soldier 53. Singer with the 2012 hit “Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)” 55. With “job,” what a 46-Across might do

56. See 1-Across 62. James Weldon Johnson’s “The Autobiography ___ Ex-Colored Man” 63. Succulent in some trendy bottled beverages 64. Savory taste 65. They may be placed in a pool 66. With “job,” what a 17-Across might do 67. Hoop alternative

DOWN

1. Sub’s opposite, in a dungeon 2. MTV musical honors show held in the Netherlands in 2013 3. ___ Jose Sharks 4. “Jump” group 5. More expensive on eBay, perhaps 6. Geller who beefed with the Amazing Randi 7. Bro’s counterpart 8. Sartorial accent for Justin Timberlake 9. I-shaped building piece, when turned on its side 10. Label owned by Universal Music 11. One quoted in an article, say 12. Soup mix brand 14. Label owned by Sony Music 18. Rain delay callers 21. Bruce/Batman portrayer, in the mid-90s 22. Channel for the original “The Ofﬁce”

NEWS

23. Insect-eating lizard 24. ___ and Charlie Browns (“Arrested Development” euphemism) 26. Widely televised ‘90s courtroom spectacle 27. Animals that say “miau” 28. Zest source 30. Floral necklace 33. Certain source of nighttime arousal 34. Causes of slippery road conditions 35. One might lead in to a bridge 36. Edith Wharton’s “Ethan ___” 38. Nurse’s provision 39. Israeli gun since the 1950s 43. Wonderful person, as it were

M A I N F E AT U R E

44. Major home security corp. 45. Creative spelling for some hip-hop collectives 46. Bill W.’s partner in founding AA 47. Pocahontas’s husband 48. “Das Boot” setting 49. Graduation outﬁts 50. Ran a ﬁnal episode 54. Time’s 2006 “person of the year” 56. Doubled, a psychedelic guitar effect 57. Brazilian greeting 58. Ending for bass or ball 59. Dennings who’s one of the girls on “2 Broke Girls” 60. Big, three-toed bird 61. Unburdened {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

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WELLNESS MIND & BODY

MIND & BODY

Xie LiHong’s WELLNESS CENTER

Downtown Massage

Chinese Bodyworks

412-401-4110

Walk-Ins Welcome 412-561-1104

$40/hr 322 Fourth Ave. (1st Floor)

3225 W. Liberty Ave. • Dormont

Open 24 hours/7 days a week

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE FOR MEN

Sports, Swedish, Shiatsu. $50/Hour Northside Location Near Heinz Field Call Rick: 412-512-6716 www.pittsburghbodyworks.com

MIND & BODY

Aming’s Massage Therapy TWO LOCATIONS 1190 Washington Pike, Bridgeville (across from Eat n’ Park)

China Massage $60/hr FREE Table Shower 1788 Golden Mile Hwy Monroeville, PA 15146 (Next to PNC Bank) Call for more information

412-319-7530 4972 Library Road, Bethel Park

(in Hillcrest Shopping Center)

412-595-8077

724-519-7896

MIND & BODY

Therapeutic Massage Therapy Relief is just a call away. Our licensed professional staff can assist with Fibromyalgia, Circulation, Low Back Pain, Muscle Spasms. Shadyside Location

YOUR AD COULD BE IN

THIS SPACE! call 412.316.3342

Superior Chinese Massage

Free Table Shower w/60min 1310 E. Carson St. 412-488-3951

Xin Sui Bodyworks

massage Therapy

BAD BACK OR NECK PAIN?

Trigger point Deep tissue Swedish Reﬂexology BLOOMFIELD 412.683.2328

Grand Opening

Forever Relaxation Chinese Bodywork

$45/hour 7621 Saltsburg Rd Plum Boro, PA 15239

412-798-1700 Bring this ad in and get a discount

Caring Help for Opiate Addiction

• Experienced, caring therapy and medical staff. • Private, professional setting. • Downtown office near public transportation and parking. Now open in Monroeville! • Medication by prescription coverage or self-pay.

Immediate openings including pregnant opiate-dependent women. We accept most major insurances, Fayette & Westmoreland County Medicaid (VBH) and self paying clients.

412.246.8965, ext. 9

412-441-1185

Grand Opening

STAR

SUBOXONE TREATMENT

Positive Recovery Solutions Dedicated to improving the lives of those with addiction issues by utilizing modern advancements in medical, clinical and pharmacological modalities. ~ Suboxone© ~ Zubsolv© ~ Vivitrol©

$49.99/ hour Free Vichy Shower with 1HR or more body work (Body shower and Body Scrub) Essential Oil used at no extra charge

NOW TAKING PATIENTS Call Today Toll Free 855-344-7501 Located at 730 Brookline Blvd. Pittsburgh, PA. 15226

2539 Monroeville Blvd Ste 200 Monroeville, Pa 15146 Next to Twin Fountain Plaza 412-335-6111

Recovery Without Judgement™

Judy’s Oriental Massage

Specializing in hand blown water and glass pipes and incense.

NOW IN SQUIRREL HILL!

GRAND OPENING!

FULL BODY MASSAGE $40/hr

$10 Coupon with this ad

4125 William Penn Hwy, Murrysville, PA 15668 Across the street from Howard Hanna’s

724-519-2950

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

J&S GLASS

Water Pipes And Glass W lass For All Your Smoking Needs Pittsburgh’s Premier Smoke Shop 1918 Murray Ave 412-422-6361 or 561-665-0592 Student Discount w/valid ID Public Parking Located behind bldg FOR TOBACCO USE ONLY

Weight Loss Center of Pittsburgh

JADE Wellness Center

SUBOXONE TREATMENT

Premiere Outpatient Drug and Alcohol Treatment

Squirrel Hill Office

Family Owned and Operated Treating: Alcohol, Opiates, Heroin and More

1900 Murray Ave, Ste. 301 Pittsburgh, PA 15217

WE SPECIALIZE IN

• SUBOXONE • VIVITROL

Cranberry Office

Painkiller and Heroin Addiction Treatment

Now Open!

- a new once a month injection for alcohol and opiate dependency

Please Call: 412-465-1050

• Group and Individualized Therapy • New Partial Hospitalization Program

Low Self Pay Rate

New Leaf Recovery Services

NO WAIT LIST Accepts all major insurances and medical assistance

412-380-0100 www.myjadewellness.com

IMMEDIATE APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE

Let Us Help You Today!

Most insurances Accepted Including Access Card

MONROEVILLE, PA

Start Today! Lose 25 pounds by Valentine’s Day! Only $99 per month!

newleafrecoveryservices@gmail.com

Call Erin at:

412-434-4798

Health Services

Problem with Opiates? Prescription Medication or Heroin?

Help is Available!

SUBOXONE • INSURANCES ACCEPTED • DAY & EVENING APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE

Methadone - 412-255-8717 Suboxone - 412-281-1521 info@summitmedical.biz Methadone - 724-857-9640 Suboxone - 724-448-9116 info@ptsa.biz

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LOCATIONS IN:

CLOSE TO SOUTH HILLS, WASHINGTON, CANONSBURG, CARNEGIE, AND BRIDGEVILLE

Pittsburgh

Beaver County

We treat: ~ Opiate Addiction ~ Heroin Addiction ~ And Other Drug

Downtown Pgh, PA Bridgeville, PA ~ Butler, PA

IMMEDIATE OPENINGS

Next Day Appointments Available

412-221-1091 info@freedomtreatment.com +

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412.434.6700

www.ThereToHelp.org We Accept: - UPMC for You - United Health And Many Others

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SERVICES ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE WANTED! Steel City Media is seeking F/T A.E. FOR WRRK and WLTJ radio. 2 yrs min. sales experience, possess excellent verbal skills & a self-starter. Requires own vehicle and auto insurance. Submit resume or email: Steel City Media, Attn: Chris Kohan, 650 Smithfield Street, Suite # 2200. PGH., PA 15222 or c.kohan@steelcitymedia.com No phone calls please. EOE.

AUTO SERVICES

HEALTH SERVICES

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

Get Clean Today. Free 24/7 Helpline for Addiction Treatment. Alcohol Abuse. Drug Addiction. Prescription Abuse. Call Now 855-577-0234 Rehab Placement Service.

Find a new place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month. Now that’s SERVICE!

FINANCIAL PROBLEMS with the IRS or State Taxes? Settle for a fraction of what you owe! Free face to face consultations with ofﬁces in your area. Call 888608-3016 Our readers look for an overall feeling of well being on a daily basis and they are looking for businesses like yours! Advertise in City Papers “Wellness” section.

CLASSES AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get trained as FAA certiﬁed Aviation Technician. Housing and Financial aid for qualiﬁed students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN) Call 412.316.3342 to advertise in City Paper.

OFFICIAL ADVERTISEMENT THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH

CLASSES

LIVE

REHEARSAL

Fiction Workshops Looking for feedback on your writing? Want to write short stories or a novel? Announcing new ﬁction workshops. Weekly meetings. Supportive environment, all ﬁction writers welcome. Visit www.BeckyTuch. com or email Becky. Tuch@gmail.com for information. Get the most for your money in CP Classifieds. We get great results. Call 412.316.3342

Screenwriting Lessons Learn the art & science of outlining, writing and rewriting motion picture screenplays.

Rehearsal Space starting @ $150/mo Many sizes available, no sec deposit, play @ the original and largest practice facility, 24/7 access, 412-403-6069

REAL ESTATE SERVICES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

Find a new place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

ADOPTION PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/ Indiana (AAN CAN)

Place your Classified advertisment in City Paper. Call 412.316.3342

Your ad could be here

Morningside- Newly remod. sm. 4BR house, 2 full baths, off st prkg, no pets. 412-628-6154 Looking for your next tenant? Advertise in City Paper’s “LIVE” section and reach over 250,000 people who read CP classiﬁeds! Call 412316-3342 TODAY!

STORAGE ABC SELF STORAGE25 x 60 storage or workspace $500 plus taxes, 12.5x40 $250 plus taxes. (2) locations Mckees Rocks & South Side. 412-403-6069

Guardian Storage

ADOPTION

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE

Adoring Couple, Financially Secure, Sports, Travel, Art, Music Awaits 1st Baby.

writeyourscript@ live.com

1-800-562-8287

Clean and Secure Units 5x5 to 10x30 available

3 Locations

Expenses Paid Nicole

EAST FOR RENT

Shadyside • Oakland • Strip District

412.316.3342

412-208-4625 GuardianStorage.com

NOW HIRING FOR

Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the, Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on March 11, 2014, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for: • PITTSBURGH BEECHWOOD PRE K-5 Elevator Addition General, Plumbing, Mechanical and Electrical Primes And the following on March 18, 2014, until 2:00 P. M., local prevailing time for: • PITTSBURGH BRASHEAR H. S. Upgrade existing heat recovery unit Mechanical Prime

• VARIOUS SCHOOLS PPS Phase 4 Security Projects – Groups 1, 2 and 3 Electrical Primes

• PITTSBURGH PERRY H. S. New AC unit in principal’s office General, Mechanical and Electrical Primes A pre-bid conference for Various Schools is scheduled for February 19, 2014 at 10:00 a. m. at the Facilities Division located at 1305 Muriel Street, Pittsburgh, Pa. This conference is NOT mandatory but recommended. Project Manual and Drawings will be available for purchase on February 10, 2014 for Beechwood and February 17, 2014 for all other projects listed at Modern Reproductions (412-4887700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual. We are an equal rights and opportunity school district. l Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 l www.pps.k12.pa.us

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.12/02.19.2014

Display Sales Representative Sell ads, web, radio and more. Be a multi-media salesperson. If you have what it takes to sell, send your resume to Jessie Brock: jbrock@steelcitymedia.com NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE! EOE

NATURAL LAW

Ethicists debate the moral dilemmas posed by the death of a police dog {BY ALEX ZIMMERMAN} ON JAN. 28, John Rush, a 21-year-old man with a criminal record and a reported history of mental illness, fatally stabbed a police dog named Rocco while police were attempting to serve him with warrants for his arrest. In the wake of Rocco’s death, Mayor Bill Peduto ordered flags to be flown at half-staff, while the media went into overdrive, and politicians called for harsher penalties for those who seriously harm police animals. But if it’s wrong to kill a dog, is it wrong to eat a chicken? Or to put the dog in harm’s way in the first place? City Paper asked several prominent animal-rights advocates what they made of the debate. Their responses have been edited for space.

Peter Singer, bioethicist and author of Animal Liberation _________________________________________ It’s good that people in Pittsburgh are talking about animals and what’s wrong with the killing of an animal. Even if it’s certain iconic species like whales or dogs, that’s better than saying, “They’re only whales, let’s let them die.” I can imagine that if police dogs are properly trained, they enjoy their line of work. Obviously we put them at risk, but if we’re looking after their interests as well as we can, that may be justifiable. We should give the same consideration to the interests of an animal as we would give to similar interests of our own. But I do think that our greater ability to reflect on our lives … makes a difference to our interest in avoiding death. I don’t think a dog has as great an interest in avoiding death as we do.

Will Kymlicka, professor of philosophy, Queen’s University _________________________________________ Most people know, at the back of their minds, that our society exploits huge numbers of animals on a daily basis, in ways that animal-rights activists describe as cruel, torture, violence and enslavement. And we know that we are complicit in this. Yet people do not want to think of themselves as the kind of person who participates in or supports the abuse of animals. Cases like Rocco provide an opportunity for average citizens to reaffirm their sense of goodness, of being humane. It’s essential to our self-identity to find ways of shifting the mistreatment of animals onto others, like the mentally ill person in this case. The more that animalrights advocates make people aware of systematic abuse of animals, the more citizens will focus on individual [acts of] abuse as a way of deflecting the issue.

Kenneth Shapiro, president of the board of the Animals and Society Institute _________________________________________ One can argue that the police dog and the police person have a co-project. They work together, train together. … You [could] accept the dog implicitly agreed to that life, and got the benefits in terms of attention and training. I don’t have a problem with that, provided the animal is treated well. We use dogs because they have skills we don’t have. I’m OK with [harsher penalties for harming police dogs] because you could argue that both canines and humans have decided to put

themselves at risk. In an instance where a dog is sent in where a human wouldn’t be — I disagree with that. We shouldn’t put the animal more at risk than a human being. By and large, the media response is a way of suggesting animals are valuable. But when it Disneyfies and Bambifies, it undercuts its own argument. We need to present [the dog] as the animal as it is, not the animal we’ve constructed. [T]he chicken we’re eating is also a sophisticated animal.

Gary Francione, law professor, Rutgers School of Law-Newark _________________________________________ Everyone who is reading [this] story is discussing it over the dinner table, while eating animals that suffered a much worse death. I’m not in favor of using police dogs or bomb-sniffing dogs — I’m not comfortable using guide dogs [for blind people]. I think there’s a problem with domestication as a moral matter: We bring animals into existence that are dependent on us. We control everything about their lives. It encourages our thinking of these animals as commodities, as resources.

“IT’S GOOD THAT PEOPLE IN PITTSBURGH ARE TALKING ABOUT ANIMALS AND WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE KILLING OF AN ANIMAL.” I do not think that laws [raising penalties for those who attack police dogs] do anything to increase [the dog’s] moral value; they’re just legislative responses to public emotion. The reason people are upset about this is there is something much deeper going on that makes us uncomfortable. Eating animals is the 64-million-pound elephant in the room.

Jason Hribal, animal historian _________________________________________ You can say they’re heroic, but what are the [police] dogs getting out of it? If the dog really sacrificed his life, other dogs should be compensated. They [should] have a representative within the union that could take on these issues. There should be some money set aside so [dogs] get retirement. People are looking at Rocco through the relationships they have with their own dogs. These are familial relations. Police and service dogs, however, are workers, and different questions need to be asked. The penalties [for harming police officers] should be the same regardless of whether they’re human or not. If they’re a police officer, they’re a police officer. AZ IMME R M A N @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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