Issue 6 Volume 1 by On The Record

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

ON THE RECORD is a magazine by and for the youth of Louisville. In 2015, our publication transitioned its format from duPont Manual High School’s tabloid-size school newspaper, the Crimson Record, to a magazine that focuses on in-depth storytelling with Louisville-wide audience and distribution. Using our training as writers, photographers, and designers, our mission is to create quality local journalism for youth that includes the crucial but often overlooked youth perspective. Each issue’s content is determined and produced by youth.

BECOME AN ADVERTISER OR SPONSOR! On the Record is an educational and journalistic enterprise that does not accept school funding.

Finding Your Footsteps

How taking a look at the nature around us can turn our gaze inward.

Unconventionally Asian

We dive into the beauty standards facing Asian American women.

Because this magazine is entirely funded by donors and advertisers, we need long-term community partners in advertising, sponsorships and underwriting. To become an advertiser, sponsor, or supporter please see pages 52-53. WHERE TO FIND OTR OTR is distributed freely in youth-friendly businesses and via Louisville-area teachers who request copies.

Sense of Self

Take a look inside the Kentucky School for the Blind’s community.

Growing Up. Aging Out. Aging out of Kentucky’s foster care system.

To distribute OTR to your students or in your business, please contact us. Subscriptions require a sponsorship. Learn more about sponsoring on p. 53. Most stories may be found online at ontherecordmag.com. Additional social media content can be found on Instagram and Twitter: @ontherecordmag

OUR CREDENTIALS

Bridging the Gap

Shining a spotlight on one organization making a difference in students’ lives.

The HeART of Louisville

Meet the youth who are contributing to Louisville’s art scene.

On the Record is a member of the National Scholastic Press Association, the Columbia High School Press Association, and the Kentucky High School Journalism Association. Previous awards include NSPA Pacemakers and CSPA Gold Crowns. Individual stories have earned multiple NSPA Story of the Year placements, CSPA Gold Circles and the Brasler Prize. CONTACT US! On the Record is published by the students of the

Unharnessed

A personal look into bouldering and one unique climber’s story.

Journalism & Communication Magnet at duPont

For more stories, visit ontherecordmag.com

Manual High School, 120 W. Lee St., Louisville, KY 40208. Visit us at ontherecordmag.com, email at ontherecord@manualjc.com. You may also contact the faculty adviser, Liz Palmer, at liz.palmer@manualjc.com. Fall/Winter 2021

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Editor-In-Chief Justin Price

THE EDITORIAL BOARD

Creative Director Hannah Welch Associate Editor John Woodhouse Justin Price

Editor-in-Chief

Justin is a senior and the Editor-in-Chief of On the Record. He has previously written on “Painted Poison” and “The Price Isn’t Right.” He uses writing to advocate for social issues and make change in his community.

Whitney Nguyen Copy Editor

Whitney is a senior and the copy editor of On the Record. She has previously written “Family,” “New Times, New Minds,” and “Our City Uncovered”. She loves writing because it allows her to express herself and use her voice in order to elevate other people’s voices.

Lily Wobbe

Managing Editor

Lily is a senior and the managing editor of On the Record. She has previously written on “United We Stand” and “What 2020 Should Have Been”. She writes to tell stories that may otherwise go untold, using OTR as an outlet to showcase the unique aspects of our city’s culture.

Copy Editor Whitney Nguyen Design Editor Marjorie Mays Managing Editor Lily Wobbe Photo Editor Mya Cummins Web Editor Elizabeth Klein Marketing Director Amelia Frey

Hannah Welch

Creative Director

Hannah is a senior and the Creative Director of On the Record. She has previously written on “The Silent Cycle”. She is also a photographer and designer for the magazine. She has a passion for creative expression, telling every person’s story, and serving the community.

Marjorie Mays

Mya Cummins

Marjorie is a senior and the Design Editor for On the Record. She has previously designed “United We Stand,” “For Us Page,” “Split City,” and wrote and designed a Burger Boy Diner food review. She likes that she can use design to visually enhance On The Record’s diverse storytelling.

Mya is a senior and the Photo Editor of On the Record. She has previously designed “The Price Isn’t Right” and photographed for “Intermission.” She believes photojournalism captures moments that words can’t describe and brings a different aspect to storytelling.

Design Editor

Photo Editor

Assignment Editors Karlie J Brockman, Mia Leon, Bella Tilford, Sam Watkins Reporters Lily Cashman, Norah Crothers, Gretchen Cummings, Ari Eastman, Kendall Geller, Jaia Kattan, Lin Tran Designers Ella Dye, Ari Eastman, Amelia Jones, Silas Mays, Lin Tran Photographers Jackson Barnes, Erica Fields

John Woodhouse Associate Editor

John is a senior and the Associate Editor for On the Record. His previous writing includes “Digging Up Dirt” and “Getting FRYSCy”. He has also photographed for a Burger Boy food review for On the Record. He employs his writing as a medium for action and deeper thinking.

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

Amelia Frey

Elizabeth Klein

Amelia is a senior and the Marketing Director for On the Record. She enjoys communicating with local supporters and expanding the reach of OTR stories.

Liz Klein is a writer and the Web Editor for On the Record. She loves helping others push their creative boundaries and find the voice to tell their stories. She has a series about personal trials and growth called “Defining Me.”

Marketing Director

Web Editor

Videographers Emma Gonzalez, Ella Metzmeier, Arsh Tak-Khan Marketing Assistants Cameron Breier, Julia May, Keller Mobley Digital Writers Drew Baker, Emerson Jones, Daelen Ratterman Adviser Liz Palmer

in this issue we ask what it means to go it alone. In times that feel more isolating than ever, we felt the need to reflect on a word that has been at the forefront for many of us: alone. Over the past two years, it feels like our lives have been dictated by this feeling. Right now, we’re expected to navigate life at our age as if our circumstances are normal. We are supposed to show up to class each day as if our education system hasn’t been pummeled by a mishandled pandemic. We are tasked with preparing for futures that may not be promised. We are pushed to take on a sense of normalcy in a world that is anything but.

By combining our own experiences with those of our peers in the community, we have created an interwoven collection of stories. Each of these accounts connects back to one overarching theme — go it alone. We encourage you to read this issue from front to back, following along with our editorial board as we add insights into what it is about these stories that stood out to us. In the end, with the help of these accounts of resilience and community, introspection and exploration, we prompt you to ask yourself one question: what does it mean to truly “go it alone?”

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FROM THE EDITORIAL BOARD At face value, “Go it Alone” often has a negative and depressive connotation, especially after two years of living in and out of isolation because of the pandemic. We selected this story for the magazine because it offered a new perspective, one that illustrates the concept of being alone as a liberating experience. With so much weighing down on our minds, we found it intriguing to understand how some find their own sense of freedom through going it alone.

FINDIN FOO

NORAH CROTHERS Norah is a junior reporter on staff who has previously written “Split City.” She loves writing because it lets her express herself creatively while also helping to educate other people.

SAM WATKINS

Sam is a senior reporter and assignment editor for On the Record. He enjoys creating interesting content for readers that is backed by technical storytelling with a creative twist. JACKSON BARNES Jackson is a sophomore photographer in his first year on staff. He enjoys photography as a fun medium to work with that can present new perspectives. “It’s a really nice way to capture and portray the world around us.” ELLA DYE Ella is a senior designer in her first year on staff. She enjoys design because it gives her a creative way to express herself. “I’m a very visual person and love to see all my work come together.” 6

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

TAKE IT ALL IN – Norah Crothers, a 16-year-old student at duPont Manual High School and On the Record

writer, prepares to embark on the Natural Bridge Trail in Kentucky on Nov. 13. She takes a stop to look around before moving forward. Photo by Jackson Barnes.

PERSPECTIVE

NG YOUR OTSTEPS In a physically and mentally stressful world, time alone in nature is the solution.

writing by NORAH CROTHERS & SAM WATKINS • design by ELLA DYE his is a story about hiking. We could report on hiking locations, hiking equipment, and the history of hiking, but that’s not what this is about. No, this story is about us. Being a student, being a teenager, is overwhelming. We are still children, but expected to be adults. Eyes are on us everywhere: social media, parents, teachers. The pressure of constant supervision follows us like a shadow, never letting us catch our breath. Mental constraints weigh down our minds, and it becomes harder to lighten that weight in such a congested environment. Sprawling cities are filled with incessant noise and relentless motion. The city makes it hard to focus on anything other than the external: homework assignments, phone notifications, and the next deadline. We spend long hours confined in stuffy buildings, weaving our way through throngs of students switching classes,

and riding in unsteady buses, shoulders squeezed together. Outside, back at our homes, responsibilities are placed on our shoulders that prevent us from relaxing even in our supposed safe spaces. We need a breather. Nature is all around us. It skirts every city, pops up in the cracks of asphalt roads, and flows below creaking steel bridges. Despite its presence, it is easy to forget about completely. For some of us, nature can only be seen on the short walks from cars to classrooms and the screensavers of our phones. Preoccupied, we allow nature to fade into the background, shortlived moments of appreciation getting lost amidst our worries. But for many of us, nature is one of the few places where we can find peace of mind. Methods of relaxation like meditation and music provide an escape from the real world, but perhaps no activity allows Fall/Winter 2021

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OUTLOOK – Norah Crothers, aforementioned writer and duPont Manual student, takes a moment to stop while crossing the Natural Bridge on Nov. 13. The Natural Bridge and it’s associated trail both provide amazing views of the surrounding area. The high vantage points and deep valleys make for some amazing sights that never fail to draw in hikers. Photo by Jackson Barnes.

people to get in touch with themselves and nature as well as hiking. While it may be physically challenging at times, hiking lets us turn off our overexerted, work-focused minds. Falling into a rhythm, putting one foot in front of the other, we can turn our focus to the beauty both around and inside us. Packed into dense cities or sprawling neighborhoods, living our lives in stuffed classrooms and cafeterias, there is a whisper in the back of our minds, telling us to get away. At the very least, our brains often ask for a welldeserved break, attempting to hear the music of the forest beyond the noise of a busy street corner. Hiking lets us immerse ourselves in that music; lets us escape from the distractions. It is hard to form connections with others when all we can think about is our individual burdens, isolating ourselves. But hiking alone can allow for a different kind of isolation— one that heals our minds instead of hurting 8

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them. Among the birds, bugs, and branches, we can be alone without feeling lonely. Whether it be casually walking around or trekking through difficult terrain, hiking in natural spaces is the perfect way to get some formative alone time. Solo hiking is exactly that: walking through nature alone. Getting away from other people makes it possible to individually reflect without the influence of the endlessly busy world. In order to write about solo hiking, we had to break away from that influence and experience it for ourselves. But first, as writers, we had to acknowledge our different backgrounds. One of us — Norah — grew up hiking: camping trips as a toddler, week-long backpacking for summer camps as a teen, annual road trips across the northern United States and Canada. Hiking was an integral part of Norah’s development, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Meanwhile,

Sam’s entire life in Louisville has been in a dense downtown, with opportunities to get away into nature coming few and far between — the short bouts of mindfulness that accompanied short-loop jogs were often interrupted by sporadic traffic. Because of this gap between us, we decided we needed to have a shared experience. Some of our trip would be undertaken together, working as a team with our photographer, Jackson, to gather the photos for our story, bolster our own hiking experience, and share our thoughts about the landscape aloud. After all, the story was a team effort. However, because we had discovered the benefits of solo hiking, we had to find time to break apart. We planned to dedicate time to going solo, to be accompanied by only our own thoughts. Plus, of course, the backdrop of the beautiful forest we would walk through. Red River Gorge is a nationally recognized natural landmark in Stanton, KY, but more than that, it is a bustling forest full of wildlife. It is a family destination for long-weekend hiking, a spot for friends to hang out away from their jobs and city life. From towering cliffs to low valleys, humans and animals trek through the woods to experience a calm that can be found nowhere else. As part of writing this story, our team of writers and our photographer

traveled out to the Natural Bridge, a particularly well-known site in Red River Gorge. From the top of the Natural Bridge, we saw a sea of red and orange trees turning color with the seasons. A slim line cut through the foliage— a distant highway. From hundreds of feet away, the cars looked like specks of dust, insignificant among the nature that surrounded them. And although other people had come to enjoy the beauty of the Natural Bridge, it was freeing. Our daily stresses could not reach us so high up. We took deep breaths of the crisp air, letting the calm of nature soak in. We returned home with refreshed minds and a new outlook on being alone. Solo hiking can create bonds that are only possible in a place of solitude. Not only with nature, but with ourselves— we can enjoy our own company. We are alone, but we can feel and think with more clarity, more freedom. Living in a society that is packed with skyscrapers and highways, we shut out nature and lock ourselves behind doors of responsibilities and stress. Solo hiking can open those doors. Jacob T. Rex, 24, an avid hiker who spent time solo hiking as a young adult, is no stranger to feeling isolated as he grew busy with school and work.

“Friendships are harder and harder to maintain because you work so much. And school is just overwhelming,” Rex said. He is the graduate assistant and coordinator of the Outdoor Recreation Activities Center (ORAC) at Western Kentucky University (WKU). He spoke fondly of the wilderness.

“

That’s where we get to just spend time—no distractions. - Jacob T. Rex, 24

“That’s where we get to just spend time— no distractions, no phones, no work stuff.” With nothing detracting from the experience, solo hiking is the perfect opportunity to ground ourselves. However, when thinking about ‘solo hiking,’ one might think: isn’t it dangerous? Tiring? But people choose to go solo despite that, motivated by their own unique reasons, pulled by nature. Sometimes, it is a physical goal— wanting to get healthier or stronger. Others want to complete some epic journey just to say they’ve

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”

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HIKING ESSENTIALS

done it; they are motivated by a bucket list. There are those who desire healing through the forest. Teenagers and young adults sign up for summer camps. Some are specialized hobbyists, like backpackers or birdwatchers. Every person on the trail lives a different life, but we all converge within the forest. We all find our own path, our own footsteps, out in nature. Of course, the dangers of solo hiking do not disappear because we are passionate about nature. But even with the possible risks, solo hiking is not only rewarding, but life changing. As a 14-year-old, Norah hiked along the Shenandoah stretch of the Appalachian Trail (AT) as part of a summer camp in Virginia and had the chance to appreciate nature in its truest form: tranquil and unrestrained. It was a sharp change from the rest of the world, allowing pause and reflection, not only about the wilderness, but about life. With our parents worrying about our safety and teachers hawking us for homework, it might be difficult for students, for children, to hike alone. But the opportunities of summer camps and other youth groups allow kids to break away from our worries during one of the most stressful periods of life. Many organizations, like the camp Norah went to, focus solely on kids getting the outdoor experiences they need. Rex works as a youth recreation leader at the Voyageur Outward Bound School, a nonprofit that offers teenagers the opportunity to go out in nature. They can go backpacking, rock climbing, and canoeing with instructors like Rex. He has taken groups of teens and young adults out to trails around the United States, and helps them not only with wilderness skills, but also to cultivate their personal growth through being in nature. During a backpacking trip to the Boundary Waters in northern Minnesota, Rex led seven teenagers— 16 to 19 years old— along a physical challenge and a mental journey. “I just got to keep asking these really intimate questions like ‘Who do you want to be? What do you want?’” Rex said. “These students would get really frustrated and angry with each other. They’d fight. They’d fight me— you know, as young people, they’re still developing and figuring these things out.” “I just saw myself in them,” Rex said. After all, he had experienced something very similar when hiking solo a few years ago, and asked himself the same questions. As young adults tend to do, Rex was wrestling with his identity and mental health. “I really just needed some space to think.” “I was struggling a lot with self image, body image— particularly my own social life, I had a lot of social anxiety.

Here are some of the hiking basics needed for any overnight hike.

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I was really scared of social situations, and just a lot of really negative thoughts,” Rex said. Having grown up in the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee, and hiking parts of the Appalachian Trail at 15, Rex is no stranger to the mountains. “Being in those spaces by myself gave me the confidence to really be who I wanted to be, to ask myself, ‘Who is that?’ I could literally look into a lake and be like, ‘Who is this man? What am I looking at? What do I want to be when I walk out of these woods?’” Rex is only one out of many who have experienced the same. Solo hikers hit the trails all over the country. From the Pacific Crest Trail along the west coast to the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina and Tennessee, they adventure through different states and unique environments. Going alone is different from day hikes or short visits with friends or family. Solo hikers can experience something entirely different and unique only because they are alone— they become

more immersed in nature, and more in tune with themselves. The Appalachian Trail is popular for day-hiking, but it holds deeper meaning for many individuals who have spent months traveling on the trail. Being alone for that long is often viewed as a negative: boring or sad. But solo hiking can be very much a positive, benefitting both mental and physical health. Our team reinforced the prior knowledge we had about the effects of nature during our trip to Red River Gorge. As Norah walked along the damp trail at Natural Bridge, she thought of homework, social media, and her long ride home. But as the noise fell away as she went further into the forest, her mind went quiet as well. She listened as the drone of the distant highway disappeared, replaced by the sounds of squirrels rustling and water bubbling. Once Sam slowed his pace and stopped to smell the natural wildlife, he was able

FORK IN THE ROAD - The sign that denotes the beginning of the Natural Bridge Trail, Nov 13. Natural Bridge alone draws in many hikers each year, with its astounding size and natural beauty. The sign is an important marker, the start of a short, but impactful journey for many. Photo by Jackson Barnes.

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BATTLESHIP ROCK – Taken from the Natural Bridge itself, Nov. 13, giving a good vantage point to see both the cliff face and the hikers on it. Photo by Jackson Barnes.

to absorb the magic of the outdoors. Any stressors from the city faded away as he focused on the stunning bright lines of trees and the sun scattering from their leaves. Only later did they realize this was a perfect example of the mindfulness we all need; a mental reset. Once we headed home to gather our thoughts and put pen to paper, we discovered that studies confirm the feelings we got to experience out in the wild. Researchers from the University of Chicago have found that natural environments help improve people’s memory, attentional-control, and cognitive flexibility. Stanford researchers additionally discovered that being outdoors is good for calming short-term anxiety and lowering risks of depression. Various studies have found that just being outside in nature, in any context, beneficially reduces one’s heart rate and blood pressure as well as the amount of stress hormones our bodies produce. Charissa Hipp, who works in the Visitor Center at Harpers Ferry— the honorary halfpoint along the Appalachian Trail— 12

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noted both these aspects when discussing the major benefits that rediscovering outdoor recreation had for her later in life. “I had what I would call a complete transformation. I lost a lot of weight. I didn’t have any more of the post-partum depression that I was dealing with. I just felt this complete sense of calm when I was out in nature.” Another component of mental well-being, especially for younger kids, is establishing a sense of community. Outdoor recreation and experiences are perhaps the purest tests of problem-solving and cooperative abilities, forcing students to work together to push through the tests of nature. As Rex explained his experience with college students, nature allowed the opportunity for vulnerability. “Some of them are getting ready to graduate, and they came out there for a fun time— they came out there literally just to go backpacking. But by the last night, they’re crying, holding each other in a circle, opening up to each other about trauma— about things they’re sensitive about.”

Because of his own experiences and the students he has worked with, Rex knows how much nature can change a person’s life. “When they came in, and I first met them in the van, I saw a couple of scared kids who were looking for something really important. They didn’t know what. When they left on that bus, I saw some people that were ready to make changes in their lives, and then the lives of the people around them,” Rex said. At first glance, Louisville seems far away from the beautiful forests of the Appalachian Trail and the stone formations of Red River Gorge. Our city is a crowded place. Highways criss-cross the open fields along Waterfront Park, suburbs continuously expand, and garbage lines the shore of the Ohio River. Prodigious skyscrapers crowd the downtown, casting deep shadows over the trimmed trees that dot the sidewalks. Even in Louisville’s green spaces, development and pavement poke at every corner. Louisville is home to more than just asphalt streets and

“ skyscrapers, however. Stepping out of the city is the doorway to the beauty that’s always been here: nature. Taking that first step into the wilderness may seem out of reach, but in reality, it only requires a few free hours. Our trip to the Natural Bridge was spontaneous— pitched for the first time to fully planned within a single week. Even with our busy lives, we were able to take that time to truly root ourselves to the world around us. Within the tranquil atmosphere of the forest, people can coexist without any barriers. Hipp spoke about taking her daughter out to the trails to help with maintenance. “Everyone was very welcoming, even though they all knew each other, and we were guests for the day,” Hipp described. At the end of the day, all of the people that we spoke with mirrored the sentiments from our own spontaneous trip. Solo hiking, in all of its forms, is a perfect way to decompress from the hustle and bustle of city life and practice the mindfulness and relaxation that we all need in our lives. And as we found out ourselves, planning a trip outdoors to a local or state park is as easy as checking the Internet for the closest trails. Regardless of whatever type of hiking trip and locale being researched, visitor centers across both Louisville and the U.S. have set up plenty of

resources online and inperson to streamline that process. So don’t be afraid to go alone on Kentucky’s gorgeous trails: it’s easier and more rewarding than one might think. As much as we’d love everyone to head out into nature immediately, it’s critical to understand the responsibilities that come with it. We cannot simply wander off into the forest and make it our own. The forest is a teeming community of wildlife; Red River Gorge boasts at least 1,000 different species of animals and plants. While we may not always see them, we must be aware of their presence and treat it just as we would another person. To respect the trails is to return the gift given to us by nature. The Appalachian Trail Conservancy often emphasizes the importance of “Leave No Trace.” Leave No Trace has become a necessary rule as more and more people go on hikes and leave items behind. This also applies to affecting what is already present on trails. After all, one of the many animals that call the forest their home might be living on those flowers or bushes. “Understanding and advocating for Leave No Trace practices is huge. I also think that one of the biggest threats that the trail is facing right now is overuse,” Hipp said. A hike, by definition, is to take a walk for pleasure or

It’s raw, there’s no rules to it.

”

- Jacob T. Rex, 24

exercise. But it is so much more than that. It can release stress, improve physical and mental health, and it can change lives. On the trail, we experienced this firsthand. With our dayto-day lifestyles being so demanding, hiking is, essentially, a psychological breather. The wilderness lessens the tedious nature of a life filled with schedules and deadlines, and confronts us with the simplicity of isolation, a true isolation instead of the false seclusion that our strenuous lives create. Our minds and bodies are in sync as we move forward, breathing in cooler, cleaner air. When we are out in the woods, we are unrestricted; hiking is open to every race, age, and gender. The trail is tamped down, turned soft under the hundreds of feet that have walked it before us. Being alone on a trail, we’re not as alone as we may seem. In truth, we’re freeing ourselves from the aspects of society that truly make us isolated. “There’s no other place in the world. You can’t really have that experience except in the outdoors. It’s raw, there’s no rules to it. And it forces you to ask yourself who you want to be,” Rex said. •

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FROM THE EDITORIAL BOARD Some aspects of our identity are not our choice, but something we’re born into. This story offered four individuals’ perspectives on the stereotypes they face, isolating them within their identities. While all of us were familiar with obstacles of adversity, there was an added layer to this story many of us weren’t as well-versed in: the tug of war between two sides of oneself.

U NC O NV E Four Asian-American teens describe the struggle of meeting two standards of beauty. writing and design by LIN TRAN

LIN TRAN Lin is a sophomore designer in her first year on staff. Through her designs, she looks to tell a story and show how she perceives the world. “Every design has a meaning behind it, you just have to look further to see it.” ERICA FIELDS Erica is a sophomore photographer in her first year on staff. She is passionate about photography as it is a productive way to fill her free time and is accessible to anyone who is willing to try. “I use my photos to help tell a story.”

DECKED OUT – Sarah Kim, a 17-year-old senior at Fern Creek High School, Lin Tran, a 15-year-old sophomore

at duPont Manual High School, Thalia Thach, a 17-year-old senior at North Oldham High School, and Emily (Mimi) Cowherd, a 16-year-old sophomore at Eastern High School, gather with items representative of their cultural background on Nov. 24 at Tom Sawyer Park. Kim showcases the traditional Korean hanbok, Tran has on her Áo dài, “long shirt”, Thach wears her traditional Khmer dress, and Cowherd in her qipao. Photo by Erica Fields.

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E N T IO N A L L Y AS IAN

MIMI COWHERD CHINESE-AMERICAN, 16

“In America, I feel like I can’t embrace my features because both sides— Asians and Asian Americans— want big eyes, slim noses, small faces, and double eyelids, but I just don’t fit into any of those… I despised looking in the mirror growing up. I tried to change my eye shape and make them bigger. I would try to make another fold in my eyelid. I tried to make my nose smaller, and my head slimmer.” When discussing K-Pop music and the genre’s place on the world stage, Mimi lit up with excitement. “Finally representation! Because of the fact that in the media, most of the Asians were always portrayed as nerdy — the “fresh off the boat” kind of thing — and these people were dancing and breaking records, I just thought it was so cool. I feel like that’s the point in my life where I finally did not want to fit into the white stereotype and I didnt want to “be white” anymore, I was glad I’m Asian.”

“

“你的眼睛真小。” (“Your eyes are so small.”)

I was glad I’m Asian.

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THALIA THACH

CAMBODIAN-AMERICAN, 17

“There are people who have come up to me in America and have been like, ‘Oh my God, you’re so tan. It’s so wonderful. I wish I was like you.’ Well, in Asia, the beauty standard is to be pale, so I’ve said, ‘No, I wish I was like you, because your skin is so good and ideal and nice. It’s fair. It’s not splotchy like mine.’” “Don’t let people control you, be who you are. Don’t let anyone control you. Because in the long run, you’re going to be better than them. You don’t need to stereotype, you don’t need to force yourself to be someone else.”

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“

You don’t need to force yourself to be someone else.

“

“សបករបសអនកងងតណស។” (“Your skin is so dark.”)

SARAH KIM KOREAN-AMERICAN, 17 (“You have elephant thighs.”) “As I was younger, I was told that I was beautiful. But then growing up to be on the bigger side, it felt really weird because all the Asians around me were always skinny, and somehow that translated to me that that’s how all Asians are supposed to be. ‘They’re always skinny, they’re thin, they’re good at math. Am I not Asian? I’m supposed to be Asian. Why am I not fitting into this mold?’” “In the end, just embrace who you are. Look at yourself for that ethnicity and don’t resent yourself and feel like it’s a burden to you.”

“

In the end, just embrace who you are.

“

“코끼리 다리”

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LIN TRAN VIETNAMESE-AMERICAN, 15

“

We all have our own individualistic beauty that makes us who we are.

“Vậy bạn là gì?” (“So what are you?”) In fourth grade, my answer was, “I don’t know what I am.” Believe me, I wasn’t stupid. It was never brought to my attention that I was “different” from my classmates; it was never brought to my attention that I was not white. The city of Louisville, although very diverse compared to other Kentucky cities, remains a predominantly white area. Growing up, I never saw any Asian representation, and being one of the few Asians in my school certainly did not help. I eventually began to realize I didn’t fit into white standards, nor the Asian beauty standards society has created for me. I felt lost: if I didn’t fit these standards, then who was I? What was I? 18

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To answer the question, I am a Vietnamese girl born in Louisville, Kentucky. I am a proud Vietnamese-American. White people tend to push these unrealistic standards on Asians— not from ill intent, but simply because they are uneducated. Neither side of me makes me less of the other, and just because I don’t fit into these unrealistic standards, doesn’t mean I’m neither Asian nor American. Not all Asians will look the same, and not all Asians will struggle with the same issues. From East and Southeast Asians to Central and Western Asians, we all have our own individualistic beauty that makes us who we are. We are unconventionally Asian. •

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FROM THE EDITORIAL BOARD This story was a long time coming for On the Record. After two years of cancelled magazines, we were ready to finally delve into this topic. Years of hearing about the school piqued our interest in what exists beyond its walls especially after a shift to online instruction. We now know KSB is so much more than just an educational institution, and we are excited to give readers a glimpse into the encouraging community within.

SENSE

WHITNEY NGUYEN

KENDALL GELLER

Kendall is a sophomore reporter in her first year on staff. She looks to writing as a method to inspire change within our community. “If my words can change one person’s mind, then I consider it a success.”

BELLA TILFORD Bella is a junior who works as an assignment editor on staff. She enjoys photography because it is a good way to represent information quickly and concisely. “It helps people truly visualize a story.”

ARI EASTMAN

Ari is a junior designer in their first year on staff. They like designing because it allows them to express their ideas and surroundings in a more balanced way. “It’s an art medium I feel like I am good at.” 20

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

writing by WHITNEY NGUYEN & KENDALL GELLER • design by ARI EASTMAN

The Kentucky School for the Blind empowers its students to become more independent.

BUILDING UNDERSTANDING – In Ms. Spies’ classroom on Nov. 3, Whitney Nguyen moves her hand

across braille Lego blocks in a demonstration of how they’re used. The raised tactile dots on the Legos spell out various braille letters to help teach the braille alphabet to students, teachers, and visitors at the Kentucky School for the Blind. Photo by Bella Tilford. Fall/Winter 2021

ON THE RECORD

“

’m a little more satisfied. I’m still not that good.” On Nov. 3, sixteen-year-old Hayden Ashley’s fingers fumbled as he attempted to quicken his typing, silence lingering in the air as the rest of the class sat with bated breath, waiting for Ashley to complete his task. The student to his right twirled a pencil between his fingers, the next page of the lesson lying blank on the table in front of him. Ashley bounced up and down in his seat, balancing delicately on the exercise ball. His hands skittered back and forth on the braille typewriter. Eyes fixed on the table, his fingers paused on the keys. He brought his hand up to scratch his head in confusion before putting it back down to create a new line of braille. After adjusting the placement of the paper, his hands fluttered around his body, tugging the collar and returning to his task. Unsteady

fingers skimmed the paper and scrambled for the keys, eventually gripping the paper, yanking it out of the typewriter, and tossing it onto the wooden table. Ashley is one of the many students to attend the Kentucky School for the Blind (KSB), learning ways to live with his visual impairment. Recognized as the third oldest school for the blind in the nation, KSB has been a hub for visually impaired students aged pre-K to 21 since 1842. That year marks the official start of KSB, but the school’s roots were solidified even before it became a state-approved building. Bryce Patten, the school’s founder, began teaching a class of six blind students in the summer of 1839. Driven by his desire to initiate a school for the blind, Patten, with the help of his brother Otis Patten, appeared before the Kentucky General

Assembly with a presentation of his students’ work. Despite this effort, funding was rejected. It wasn’t until the brothers met Dr. Samuel Gridley Howe of the Massachusetts Institute for the Blind that they were able to produce a convincing presentation for the Kentucky Legislature. Soon thereafter, with a $10,000 grant, KSB officially opened in May of 1842 on Sixth Street in downtown Louisville. One outgrown building and one burned-down building later, they wound up situated on Frankfort Avenue by 1855, which is where the school is located today. Contrary to public school systems like JCPS, KSB offers a specialized curriculum catered to the individual needs of their 62 students. “Teachers here have to make accommodations and think of how to teach in a different way and how to make things tactile so that the

A HELPING HAND – Hayden Ashley, age 16, sits with his braille teacher as she guides him through his English lesson at the

Kentucky School for Blind, on Nov. 4. Ashley receives his worksheets in braille and types his responses on a braille typewriter, but since he is still learning the language, his aid is a huge help. Photo by Bella Tilford. 22

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

kids can learn better,” said Christi Unker, the school’s librarian. Despite their small student population, the community is filled with diversity. From the Bluegrass region of Fayette County to the fertile farmlands of Tennessee, students arrive with different backgrounds and baggage, seeking a place to be seen. Some students arrive having borne the scars of gun violence, some having experienced their sight slowly diminish over time, while others simply attend in search of a community that other schools couldn’t provide for them. “They help a lot. They understand what I’m trying to say, because I’m really bad at—I’m really bad at giving myself out. But somehow they understand what I’m trying to say,” said 16-year-old Brandon Marini. This understanding is integral for the students, teachers, and staff at KSB. Along with a variety of backgrounds, the learning environment of each student is unique due to the different eye conditions they experience. KSB accommodates these differences by altering the physical environments of their classrooms. Adam Stockhausen is the high school science teacher at KSB. In his sophomore class, the lights were off. Only a pinch of light could be seen in the corner of the classroom, illuminating two hands gliding softly along a piece of paper. “Some of them are very light sensitive and so we have to have the lights off or the lights dimmer, or they have issues with glare,” Mr. Stockhausen said. “Other students need a lot more light so that they can actually see what’s in front of them.” One of the three students in his classroom has a condition called aniridia, which means they have no irises. When Mr.

Stockhausen said this, the student remained unaffected, raising two fists in the air and proudly claiming them as “black holes!” The student in the corner of the classroom had a lamp perched beside him, the yellow glow spotlighting the braille-imprinted paper below his hands. He had a pair of red-lensed glasses on and was inching closer and closer to the paper with every line he traced. “I only have one eye,” he grumbled. “You’re still a full person despite only having one eye,” Mr. Stockhausen reassured him. There are also students with detached retinas, optic nerve atrophy, full or partial colorblindness, and even degenerative diseases like retinitis pigmentosa— which means their vision is slowly narrowing—just to name a few. Some may assume that all of the students at KSB are fully blind, but this isn’t the case. Most of the students actually have visual impairments, with only a select few being partially or fully blind. But what’s the difference? Visual impairments are characterized by a severe loss in vision that cannot be fixed by methods such as contacts or glasses, as opposed to being fully blind. Because of this, KSB spares no expense in assisting each and every student with their variety of needs. “They try and make everyone feel included, honestly. There’s nothing we have that others don’t,” said 18-year-old student Mickie Foard. If anything, they have more. Vincent Reese stood in front of the SMART Board, dark lines of text contrasting against the bright white background. But none of the students were looking at the screen. Each person was looking down at their own device.

UNIFIED ENGLISH BRAILLE CHART 1 a

2 b

3 c

4 d

5 e

6 f

7 g

8 h

9 i

0 j

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Occupying the attention of each student were BrailleNote Touches (a device similar to an iPad that has a refreshable braille display), braille typewriters, and laptops. They were all using different mediums to follow along with Mr. Reese’s lesson on presidential succession. “Hilary Clinton was campaigning since…” “2016!” one student eagerly said. “Yes, 2016,” Mr. Reese affirmed. When the lesson switched to Air Force trips, a student jokingly poked fun at Mr. Reese. “It could be your retirement trip!” The variety of devices wasn’t the only difference about KSB’s high school classes. The students usually jump in on class discussion at any time, transforming what could be a lecture into a conversation. In Sondra Miller’s freshman math classroom, a variety of unfamiliar tools and gadgets were packed inside office-like shelves. There were talking calculators, graphing boards with scratchy paper that produced puffed-up shapes, and even Braille Legos. In the corner of the classroom was what appeared to be a printer, but was in fact a machine called a Braille embosser, which creates raised designs on paper and prints braille. The three students in her classroom, like the ones in Mr. Reese’s, were all using different devices to solve their math problems. They worked independently, with Ms. Miller occasionally offering a guiding hand. Many students go to KSB through the Short Course Program (can also be referred

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

to as the short term program), a nationally acknowledged outreach program that offers students the chance to receive direct instruction specialized for their visual impairments. The Short Course program offers up to 12 weeks in a school year, focusing on the Expanded Core Curriculum (ECC), which combines average education standards with additional skill sets to help visually impaired students navigate the world around them. The Short Course Program is an opportunity for kids from various districts to stay in the KSB dorms and gain additional skills such as learning braille, dealing with daily living responsibilities, and social and technological abilities. Principal Peggy SinclairMorris described a feeling she witnessed in students that participated in the Short Course program: nostalgia. “They definitely build this networking community,” she said. This community flourishes among the students each and every day. Struggles and daily frustrations are common occurrences at KSB, but the students help each other overcome them, their shared experiences making those bonds even stronger. Mr. Stockhausen has personally witnessed instances of students offering help to one another. He said they know when to ask: “‘Hey buddy, do you need assistance with this? Do you want me to guide you over here? Here, let me help you work with this! Do you want to take a turn doing this thing?’ They step up to that and they actively are trying to include everyone together,” he said. Such interactions are part of what makes KSB so remarkable. Instead of being isolated for their differences, students are connected because of them.

“This is a special place just because the kiddos— they’re very kind to one another, they’re all in the same boat.” - Christi Unker, Librarian “This is a special place just because the kiddos—they’re very kind to one another, they’re all in the same boat,” Ms. Unker said. Community isn’t built solely on the backs of the students and their interactions with one another. Mr. Stockhausen and some of his colleagues recalled times when the students aided not only their peers, but teachers and staff as well. High school English teacher Becky Spies described some of the difficulties she faced when she started at KSB and how the students aided her along the way. “It was like, you jump in the fire and you do the best you can,” Ms. Spies said. A few of Ms. Spies’ students admitted to knowing she was clueless, but did their best to guide and teach her by telling her what they needed in order to be successful. For many of the teachers at KSB, who formerly taught at traditional public schools, the transition to a blind school wasn’t simple. Mr. Stockhausen, Ms. Spies, and Ms. Miller had previously taught at Oldham County High School, with no prior experience teaching visually impaired students. In order to teach at KSB, all three were required to complete a two-year master’s program with the University of Kentucky. However, they didn’t

HIT THE LIGHTS – Eric Holden, age 15, a student at the Kentucky School for the Blind, works on his egg drop science project under lamplight, in Mr.

Stockhausen’s science classroom on Nov. 4. One of the other students in the class has a condition called aniridia, the partial or full absence of one or both of one’s irises. This makes her extremely sensitive to light and requires the light to be off or dimmed in her classes. Photo by Bella Tilford.

start this program until after a couple of months teaching at KSB. This introduced challenges for the teachers as they had no choice but to navigate new positions without any prior knowledge. This forced them to confront some of their assumptions and misconceptions about what kind of world they were stepping into. “I thought that at a blind school, all the kids were blind and that was totally wrong. I thought all of them had no vision and that’s almost the opposite,” Ms. Spies said. Ms. Miller admitted to the same assumption. “I was in that same category of not understanding all of the eye conditions and considering low vision and other things being part of a blind school,” she said. Not only did they clarify some of their own misconceptions, they also emphasized on KSB’s goal.

“Even if they don’t have content necessarily mastered, the main goal is: Can they figure out how to be people out in the real world?” Mr. Stockhausen said. Unfortunately, people tend to take advantage of these youth once they enter the real world. Their impairments are viewed as aspects of their being that make them vulnerable, but KSB does its best to prepare the students for instances in which this occurs. “There have been a couple times that someone tried to short change me at a gas station and I counted it up and I told ‘em, ‘That’s not right,’” said 15-year-old Eric Holden. Holden has attended KSB since he was in kindergarten. When he was a toddler, he fell in his grandparent’s yard and detached the retina in his right eye, which caused him to lose vision. A few months later, his

younger sister accidentally broke his glasses, causing glass to cut the cornea in the same eye. Various surgeries later, his doctors decided it would be best to remove the eye. Now, Holden has only his left eye, where less than half of his vision remains. “Just don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Don’t just assume somebody is gonna have trouble doing something just because they’re blind or they have trouble seeing or they have a cane. They can still do pretty much just anything you can,” Holden said. These assumptions can run through the students’ families as well. “I love both my parents, but sometimes they can be a bit too much,” Foard admitted. Even though Foard is an adult, her parents are still vigilant with her. She understands the reasoning, but wishes she had Fall/Winter 2021

ON THE RECORD

more freedom to do simple things like book her own doctor’s appointments. It’s not possible to always keep her sheltered from the uglier parts of the world. “But sometimes people will take it a little bit too far and wave their hand at my face and be like, ‘How many fingers am I holding up?’ I can’t see your fingers. I can see your hand but not your fingers,” she said. While there are people who approach her with bad intentions, there are also people who simply don’t understand. “I mean, it’s great that they ask about it, but sometimes — sometimes they say stuff that hurts. Like maybe not intentionally, but it’s still there.” It’s important to utilize proper etiquette when communicating with people that are visually impaired or blind. Certain interactions may seem helpful, but wind up being offensive or unnecessary. It is essential to communicate boundaries and keep from

taunting people who are visually impaired or blind in ways similar to the one Foard described. Some of Foard’s concerns are more practical, too. “I’m also concerned about getting a job because sometimes people are a bit anxious about hiring blind people. They’re like, ‘What if they can’t do this? What if they can’t do that?’ You know how people are, they wouldn’t know how to help. They get closed off. They push people away,” she said. Luckily, KSB offers many programs focused on addressing these concerns. One of them being the Work Program, where students are given an opportunity to work at various jobs and get paid through the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR). Foard spends her afternoons at the Kentucky School for the Blind Charitable Foundation, a nonprofit whose primary purpose is to fund KSB’s outreach services, writing articles and drawing Christmas cards around the

TURNING THE PAGE – Christi Unker, the librarian at the Kentucky School for the Blind, stands in the children’s aisle of the school library on Nov. 4. Unker has worked at schools in a variety of regions, including Oldham and Henry County, and has been a librarian for a total of 19 years. Photo by Bella Tilford.

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

holidays. Students can also work at restaurants like J. Gumbo’s and establishments like the American Printing House, which neighbors KSB. The Work Program is free and students participate in it during their school days. In Foard’s case, she has work during her third and fourth period and then returns to her English class. At the end of the day, Foard heads back to her dorm, where she lives for free on campus. Independent living is another program that KSB offers in which students live by themselves in the campus dorms. They learn how to buy groceries, budget, cook, and clean up after themselves. This prepares students for their adult life living by themselves, as well as for college and living in dorms alongside their peers. Included in the ECC are Orientation and Mobility (O&M) skills, which help students navigate the real world alongside sighted people. This includes things like how to cross the street, ride the bus, request assistance, and use white canes to help them navigate their surroundings. The school also offers other classes focused on career preparation and basic daily skills, such as cooking or unclogging a toilet. Some students even have the opportunity to split their time between classes at Central High School and KSB. One of these students is 14-year-old Landon Smith. He wears glasses to aid his color blindness and light sensitivity by blocking out light. He usually spends about two or three periods at Central High School before riding the bus to KSB and finishing up the rest of his day. “Everybody at Central likes me quite a bit,” Smith said, with a shy smile on his face. While switching between a public school and a blind school

STAYING VISUALLY INFORMED Trachoma

A disease that affects the eye and is caused by infection. These infections are contagious and, if left untreated, can cause irreversible blindness.

Aniridia

The lack of or partial absence of the iris (this is the colored part of the eye). Aniridia causes increased light sensitivity and a reduction in visual acuity.

Glaucoma

A group of eye diseases that result in damage to the optic nerve and cause vision loss.

Amblyopia

Amblyopia is reduced vision that is caused by abnormal eye development during childhood. It causes one eye to be “favored” by the brain, resulting in the weaker eye to continue to decrease in strength (the weaker eye can often be seen wandering inward or outward).

Cataract

Cataracts are when an eye's vision becomes blurry and unfocused as a result of the clouding of the lens of the eye. Generally, it worsens over time and can lead to eventual blindness.

Anopthalmia

A condition where one is born without one or both eyes.

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works for Smith, it doesn’t necessarily work for others. “I went to Central for the first part of the year. I don’t really like it very much, but I did get some of that public school experience,” Holden said. Holden also participates in the ECC, where he has learned many foundational skills such as O&M skills to help navigate the real world.

“

enjoying burgers, when a Lyft pulled up to the curb. The door of the car swung open and a white cane could be seen skimming along the pavement. Then, out stepped a former KSB student and his girlfriend. Another customer shouted out, alerting the pair of an open seat. Ms. Unker recognized the student and his girlfriend, who are both completely blind. She

“But my brother was like ‘watching the ocean is boring!’ I’m like, ‘at least you can see the waves. I can’t see the waves.’ It makes me sad,” she said. Other times, acceptance comes in the form of gratitude. “And sometimes I’m grateful for it because sometimes just the world can be cruel and I’m afraid of seeing what that’s like,” she said, her voice lowering as she admitted her fears.

“It’s helped me realize that I’m not alone in the world, that there are other people, maybe not like me, but like me if that makes sense.” - Mickie Foard, 18 “Different ways we’re being more independent and selfadvocating are one of the things they really emphasize,” Holden said. Self-advocating plays a major role in how KSB prepares its students for life outside of school. Teachers and staff promote it as much as possible, encouraging students to ask for help when it is necessary. “I don’t do a lot of handholding,” Ms. Spies said. Self-advocating is necessary for the students in order to have their needs met later in life, when they aren’t in an environment that is catered towards their condition or filled with people that know what they need. In many cases, KSB has been successful. “It brought out more of my advocacy. Like if I have to have something I ask for it. Sometimes when I remember when I was younger, I would not ask for anything,” Foard said. This success has also been seen in graduates of KSB. In the summer of 2018, Ms. Unker and her daughter were seated outside of Five Guys,

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

waited until they were seated to walk up to them, engaging in a conversation in which she discovered that the two had just returned from a trip to Europe. “And I was like, ‘Yes! A trip to Europe! And you just took a Lyft and came here to eat independently and confidently.’ And that’s what it’s all about. That made me just be like, yes. You know, I had a tiny part of that,” Ms. Unker said. It’s small moments like those that leave the biggest impact on the staff. It’s exactly what KSB wants their students to experience when they graduate: Empowerment. Independence. Freedom. “I just wish people would include more people via color blindness, any disability, any culture differences. Just be more accepting,” Foard said. For much of the youth at KSB, acceptance was a long journey. Even now, there are days where acceptance is hard to grasp. Foard discussed a trip she and her family took to the beach where the waves were too rough to get in the water.

While Foard has accepted her visual impairment through gratitude, Marini has accepted his through perseverance. “How did I accept it? It’s because everyone’s different. Everyone is different. Life will get hard, but life will get better in the long run if you accept all the pain that has happened,” Marini said. Acceptance has made progress in improving the students’ confidence and how they address ignorance. “Blindness is a spectrum,” Foard said. It isn’t just black and white. KSB has built a community that accepts all blind and visuallyimpaired students in every way they exist. “It’s helped me realize that I’m not alone in the world, that there are other people, maybe not like me, but like me if that makes sense,” she said. This is the community that KSB has always aimed to create and nurture. “You know, ultimately I just wanna make sure that we’re doing the right thing for the kids here,” Dr. Sinclair-Morris said.

HANDS-ON – In Mr. Stockhausen’s science classroom at the Kentucky School for the Blind on Nov. 4, a print out poster of the periodic table of elements sits on a table along with three tactile representations of various elements. Mr. Stockhausen came up with the idea for the tactile representations himself, to help his students more easily remember the elements. To make the learning tool, he wrote out various elements on paper and then pasted household items on each that associated with the written element, such as pool noodles to represent chlorine or batteries to represent lithium. Photo by Bella Tilford.

KSB’s entire vision statement is centered around empowerment and independence. Empowering Students who are Blind and Visually Impaired to Command their Future. With the many obstacles and challenges that blind and visually impaired youth go through, KSB curates an environment that uplifts their students, while equipping them with the tools in order to succeed in life. The reality is that blind and visually impaired students will have to pave their own paths because not every building that they walk into will be accommodating to their needs. Not every person will be

as open-minded or as conscious as the staff at KSB. Not every door they open will provide them opportunities. In this way, KSB acts as a guiding hand, steering the wheel until their students can steer it themselves. Until their students can walk into the real world and navigate it themselves. Until their students can form relationships themselves. Until their students can open doors for themselves. Their goal is to help students get to that place of independence. A hand covered Hayden Ashley’s, aiding him in finding the line of braille.

“I promise you. You are improving so much. I’m so proud of you,” said Pam Cox, his braille teacher. She spoke close to his ear, voice hushed as her lips lifted, smiling through her words. She removed her hand from where it had been resting on top of his, leaving Ashley to complete the line by himself. Ashley paused, his head lowering as his hands flattened on the typewriter. One, two, three seconds passed before Ms. Cox urged him to complete the next line. He lifted his head, resolved, as he finished the last line. On his own.• Fall/Winter 2021

ON THE RECORD

FROM THE EDITORIAL BOARD Approaching adulthood is daunting, no matter how you spin it. While it offers new freedoms and independence, it can also feel incredibly isolating. Becoming legally independent brings responsibilities, expectations, and a world of unknowns. For high school students on the brink of adulthood, we know these thoughts and worries well. But for the subjects of this story, turning eighteen doesn’t just mean entering a new chapter — it means leaving behind the support of the system they’ve depended on.

Growing up.

LILY WOBBE Lily is a senior and the managing editor of OTR. She has previously written on “United We Stand” and “What 2020 Should Have Been”. She writes to tell stories that may otherwise go untold, using OTR as an outlet to showcase the unique aspects of our city’s culture. JAIA KATTAN Jaia is a sophomore reporter in her first year on staff. She likes writing due to its ability to express both her voice and the voices of those who can’t speak up for themselves. “I feel as if I’m making at least a little bit of impact in the world.” ERICA FIELDS Erica is a sophomore photographer in her first year on staff. She is passionate about photography as it is a productive way to fill her free time and is accessible to anyone who is willing to try. “I use my photos to help tell a story.” MIA LEON Mia is a junior who works as an assignment editor on staff. She loves design as it gives her the chance to create visual representations to compliment the strong messages the writers are sending to the readers. “Everyone loves pictures.” 30

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

Aging out.

At eighteen, those in Kentucky’s foster care system face a challenge completely on their own. writing by LILY WOBBE & JAIA KATTAN • design by MIA LEON

eonte Green’s alarm goes off every morning at 5:00 AM, marking the start of his morning routine — take a shower, walk the dog, get ready for school, catch the bus at 7:08. After two classes, he leaves school at 11:40, works a shift at Penn Station, goes home, walks the dog, and does his evening chores. By all accounts, Green is a normal senior in high school, excitedly approaching graduation and ready to start his future as an independent adult. Typically, the months following graduation will be a time of learning and experiencing the world apart from the families students have grown up with. But for Green, this won’t be his first time on his own without familial guidance. What isn’t obvious at first glance is that Green grew up in foster care and has essentially been on his own since he was a toddler. Not only is he approaching graduation, but after recently aging out of the foster care system at 18, he’s faced with much bigger obstacles than his peers could imagine. For older youth in the foster care system, “aging

out,” or turning 18 while still in foster care, comes with mixed emotions, some excited, most anxious. Aging out signifies the period in which youth in foster care leave the system without an adoptive family. Green has been moved from foster home to foster home, trying to find the right fit, but the older he got, the fewer families there were willing to take him in. Soon enough, Green was approaching his 18th birthday. “I was anxious, like do I wanna stay in my home or do I wanna live on my own?” Green said. Green eventually decided to leave the residential foster care facility where he currently lived and get an apartment. “When I aged out, I was nervous at first because I didn’t know what to expect. They told me that when you age out you get a lot of benefits like free college,” Green explained. While foster youth have resources available to them, including college scholarships and career training, they are often left in the dark to learn basic tasks, unprepared for the everyday challenges that they’ll face as adults. “I don’t know how to cook. I don’t know how to drive. I didn’t

know how to do things a normal 18-year-old should know how to do,” Green expressed the anxiety that is undoubtedly felt by many foster youth in his situation. Though his everyday life looks like any other, the struggles of his past and uncertainties of his future are vastly different from the typical teen.

The reality is that Green is far from alone in his experience. In Kentucky, there are more than 9,000 children in foster care, and as these children get older, their chances of being adopted decrease. As they approach age 18, they are each forced to face the challenges ahead of them, this time without many of the supports they grew up with. Mylantha Williams was one of the many foster care children on the brink of aging out. Without an adoptive family to support her, she faced entering the real world with few connections or aspirations for the future. “I wasn’t going to college right out of high school. Back then, it was for smart kids. They didn’t push it like they do now,” she said. Without knowledge of the opportunities for higher Fall/Winter 2021

ON THE RECORD

A SECOND CHANCE – The Home of the Innocents, photographed on Nov. 30, services children who can no longer safely reside with their birth families, provides foster youth with the opportunity to become successful after turning 18 with the Pathways HOME program. Photo by Erica Fields.

education, Williams had never planned on going to college. After she aged out, she got a sustainable job at a factory that paid her rent. One day, she decided to go back to her old high school to visit and ran into her friend’s mom. They started catching up, and when Williams mentioned she never went to college and instead went straight to working without a degree, her friend’s mom was perplexed. “She was like, ‘Well why didn’t you go to college?’ and I was like, ‘What am I going to college for?’” Williams said. Her friend’s mom continued to push Williams into at least considering college, mentioning all the opportunities available for her out there. “If you don’t have folks building you up and letting you know that you’re okay, that you’re worthy, that you can do these things, it’s really hard to accept someone saying that you can do this,” Williams said. 32

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

Through support from her friends and foster family, Williams pushed herself to pursue higher education and a more fulfilling career. A 2011 study done by Chapin Hall, a policy research institution at the University of Chicago, showed that only three to four percent of youth who age out of foster care will earn a college degree, and Williams defied that statistic. Now, she is an elementary school mental health counselor, working with foster care children that need someone to push them just as much as Williams needed her friend’s mom to push her. “I’ve talked to folks getting ready to age out before, and the biggest thing is finding your family and your mentorship,” Williams said. “Those people always have your back.” While Williams was eventually able to find success beyond her factory job, the reality is different for the majority of

youth who age out of foster care. According to the U.S. National Library of Health, because of their lack of support after aging out, two in five adults who leave the system will become homeless, and according to the National Foster Youth Institute, only half will be employed by age 24. Because of a lack of access to healthcare and contraceptives, 55% of women who age out had been pregnant by 19. These statistics make it clear that when youth age out of the foster care system, they are in need of support as much as any other kid is. However, finding support for them is, like many other things, much harder. Anissa Lanier, a JCPS foster care liaison and social worker, has dedicated her career to providing support to these youth and setting them up for better futures before they even age out. While Lanier doesn’t work one-on-one with foster care

youth, the important work she does impacts the community in many ways and creates more positive outcomes for the kids themselves. “Since I don’t have a direct connection with the student, I feel like I’m fighting for this person who I don’t know, but I know that it’s worth it because I hear the other side of the story,” she said. On any given day, Lanier helps support foster care youth in many critical ways, including helping youth experiencing

and they are required to provide transportation. The same thing goes for kids in foster care,” Williams said. The McKinney-Vento Act is the first and only major federal legislative response to homelessness, and its extension to youth in foster care provides them with more successful futures. Youth in foster care have the ability and potential to be just as successful as someone who grew up with guaranteed support. However, in most cases,

”

“I didn’t know how to do things a

normal eighteen-year-old should know how to do.” - Deonte Green, 18 housing instability and advocating for the foster care community as a whole. “Sometimes my voice is very small, like a whisper. I feel like when I’m joining with my partners and other people in the community, it makes my whisper more of a yell,” Lanier said. Perhaps most importantly, Lanier ensures that children stay in their school of origin despite their lack of a stable home. “After they age out of foster care, students talk about how hard it was to be successful because maybe they changed schools five times a year. It makes them even more vulnerable because they’re being taken away from their families,” Lanier explained. “They don’t stay at a school long enough to develop healthy or stable relationships with people.” Along with the support from people like Lanier and Williams, kids in foster care are also protected under the McKinney-Vento Act. “That’s for students who are experiencing homelessness in some way. They get to be bused to their school

people who grow up in foster care are deemed unsuccessful due to the lack of knowledge surrounding opportunities that are available for them within the system. Luckily, there are many organizations in Louisville that focus on kids in foster care and the paths that are available for their future, one of which being the Home of the Innocents. The Home of the Innocents provides residential care for children who have been abused, neglected, or abandoned. This includes kids in foster care. Home of the Innocents stands out especially because of their program that specifically focuses on adults, including those who have aged out, called Pathways HOME. “They are basically an aftercare program. So they help, not necessarily just foster youth, but adults, ages 18 to 21, find housing, employment, and education stuff. So, they really do kind of HELPING HANDS – Mylantha Williams, a former foster child photographed on wraparound services Dec. 5, works as an elementary school mental health practitioner. Her career centers on helping children in the same predicament she once found herself in. like that,” explained Photo by Erica Fields. Jennifer Knapmeyer, Fall/Winter 2021

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the director of the Therapeutic Loving foster Care (TLC), and the adoption program that Home of the Innocents also provides. Home of the Innocents, along with their Pathways HOME program, assists Kentucky’s thousands of youth in foster care to find a support system and helps those who have recently aged out. “We have some really good kids that come through, and they get a little stigmatized because of their age, and the fact that they’re in foster care,” Knapmeyer said, emphasizing the pattern she noticed of kids receiving judgment solely on how they are viewed on paper. Knapmeyer made a point to highlight how important it is to meet the kids that are in foster care and to truly get to know them before one comes to a conclusion with the child. Regardless, many

THE HEART OF OUR CITY – The Home of

the Innocents, photographed on Nov. 30, was founded in 1880 and notably serves more than 10,000 children and families in the Therapeutic Loving Foster Care (TLC) and adoption services. Photo by Erica Fields.

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kids in foster care, particularly teens, go unnoticed and end up on the path to age out after spending their whole lives isolated and without any constants.

As if approaching the edge of a cliff, Green approached his 18th birthday, still uncertain about what exactly his future holds, but undoubtedly determined to fulfill his ambitious goals. “It’s the first time I’ve had really good grades,” Green said. “I’m in a stable home now, so I’m not acting out for attention.” He plans to attend college for at least four years, studying either pharmacy or physical therapy. Green radiates optimism and genuine hope for other youth experiencing very similar situations. He emphasized all the ups and downs in life, especially his, and while it is extremely

difficult, he has his sights set for graduation in May and beyond. “Just keep trying and know that it’s all going to work out, and then you have a good story to tell,” Green said as a smile spread across his face. Green gladly shared his story as he sat at a wooden coffee table, gazing out of the window, sun illuminating the side of his face. That day, he woke up at 5:00 AM sharp, did his chores, went to school, and worked. As his head hit the pillow after his evening chores, he now knows his story is out there, helping others who are in his same exact shoes. So, what advice would Green give to his peers who are nearing their own cliffside? “I don’t want to say corny stuff, like it gets better, because sometimes no one wants to hear that, but it is the honest to God truth.” •

FROM THE EDITORIAL BOARD This story was a learning process. When first pitched, we looked to make sense of the stark disparity between student success in our district and even within our own school. While it became easy to look for someone to blame, we soon learned that we were facing a behemoth. What we ended up with was a story exploring the complexities of education inequity within JCPS, while highlighting one teacher making a difference for the future of his students.

The disparity in Louisville’s public education system is apparent; one organization aims to change that. writing by KARLIE BROCKMAN & GRETCHEN CUMMINGS • design by AMELIA JONES

KARLIE J. BROCKMAN Karlie is a senior reporter and assignment editor in her second year on staff. She has previously written “Getting FRYSCy” and “A History Lesson”. She uses writing to better understand the world around her. GRETCHEN CUMMINGS Gretchen is a junior reporter on staff. She uses writing as a form of self-expression and to bring her peace in the times when she needs it most. “When I write I am allowed to be the version of myself that the restrictions of everyday life keep me from being.” AMELIA JONES Amelia is a sophomore designer in her first year on staff. She uses design to express her creativity in exciting, new ways. “I love the fact that I can create anything from a self portrait to a magazine spread on something as simple as my laptop.” MIA LEON Mia is a junior who works as an assignment editor on staff. She loves design as it gives her the chance to create visual representations to compliment the strong messages the writers are sending to the readers. “Everyone loves pictures.”

SUCCESS – Fern Creek High School senior, Kim

Doan, 17, has been a part of Ivy Plus Academy, a program that provides mentoring and resources to minority students like Doan, since her freshman year. Doan has received several early acceptance letters to her dream colleges as a result of the preparation and guidance offered by the Ivy Plus program. She stands in Tom Sawyer Park on Dec. 19 proudly displaying her acceptance letters. Photo by Mia Leon.

Fall/Winter 2021

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unlight filtered through the trees as Kim Doan, 17, stopped with her fellow classmates, surrounded by the sound of swaying leaves. Looking up, Doan could see peeks of blue sky through the gaps between tree branches. Their hike at Cedar Ridge Camp had culminated in this stop. Arriving at the camp with Doan were other Fern Creek High School freshmen. They were all new members of Ivy Plus Academy, a program that provides mentoring and resources to low-income, first-generation, and/or minority students throughout and beyond highschool based within Fern Creek. They all knew few people and had brewing doubts about the academy’s expectations. Doan had hoped to be accepted to another high school but was denied. Her last-minute entry into Fern Creek felt like a last resort. During the retreat though, surrounded by nature and welcoming advisors, she relaxed, laughed with new friends, and even started to feel excited for the new year. The students were split into groups of five and presented with a large wooden plank. They were told each member of the group had to fit their feet on the board. Any technique could be used to fit their team members. Anyone who fell off the board lost. Each round, the teams were presented with a smaller board. As laughter and shouts rang in the air, students locking

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

hands and shooting out arms across gaps of space to steady a teetering teammate, a seed was being planted in Kim and her peers’ minds: supporting each other creates a community where everyone is stronger.

Ivy Plus:

Ivy Plus Academy’s focus and mission is to create an equitable community that meets underrepresented student needs and opens up opportunities to gain acceptance to elite colleges all over the United States. The freshman leadership retreat is one of many annual bonding kick-offs for each new cohort. The retreat starts to build a community of support between students, one they will need through the rigorous curriculum and extracurricular activities of the next four years. A nearly full wall of college pennants greeted us when stepping into Beau Baker’s classroom for the first time on Nov. 18. Flashes of blue, red, and purple were plastered all around. Baker is the founder and dean of Ivy Plus Academy. He told us the placement of the pennants was intentional. Whenever students’ eyes stray from the projector screen or a lecturing teacher at the front of the room, their daydreams will include these colleges. Every single pennant was placed and signed by a previous student of the academy who got into the college displayed.

Now a current senior, Doan is looking to add her name to the list of Ivy Plus alumni and their wall of pennants. Her time at Ivy Plus made her realize her doubts about Fern Creek were unfounded. “Fern Creek is the type of school most students are usually ashamed to be in because of the past,” Doan said. “However, I love it here and I am proud.” Baker shares this pride. After he left the Navy in 2004 as a Surface Warfare Officer, Baker had no clue what he’d do next, and although he received a

master’s degree in English, teaching was the last thing on his radar. Many who leave the Naval Academy so soon in their career usually end up working for defense contractors. “I had some interviews and job offers and I was just like, I would really hate doing any of this by being a part of that nonsense. And so I kind of just fell into this job,” he continued. Baker was enrolled as a teacher at Fern Creek High School knowing nothing about how to connect with students.

He explained to us that it was difficult navigating the ways of a teenager’s world despite once being one. Not long into his career, he began to notice a trend within his senior classes. Every January he would ask them the same question: “Hey guys, where are we? Have any of you applied anywhere yet?” and he always received the same answers, “No, don’t the colleges come here?” This sparked a revelation in Baker’s mind. He realized the knowledge provided to students about their futures was very limited, leaving them with only assumptions to guide themselves through the college process. From this point on, Baker started working one-on-one with students and their families to educate them about the college process. “I just started working with my juniors in class and their families and said, ‘Guys, let’s talk about this on the front end. How can this work?’” Baker said, concerned. This continued for about ten years, until the former principal of Fern Creek, Dr. Nathan Meyer, offered as much help as possible to kickstart the Ivy Plus Academy. With no financial support from JCPS, Ivy Plus Academy relies on money for resources through private donations and student fundraising. The academy is centered around classes that will prepare students for their upcoming years in college. Students apply

freshman year and, if accepted, begin taking higher-level courses to build a resume that is appealing to colleges all over the U.S. Along with this, Baker dedicates his time to developing an understanding of the struggles of minority and first-gen students in the college process. Although the college process typically begins senior year, Baker preps his junior cohort students during after school meetings throughout the year. During his December meeting, Baker handed out a timeline mapping what the rest of each student’s junior year should look like. Along with the timeline, he included a paper that displayed a long list of distinguished colleges. As the students looked down the list, their faces filled with worry. Their fingers skimmed the pages faster than they could process the words. The brief moment of silence came to an end when a student from the back row raised his hand. “What does this mean?” he said.

“

“However, I love it here and I am proud.” - Kim Doan, 17

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“

Baker explained that these colleges were options. This list was only to provide insight into the realism of each student’s choice. He wanted his students to look at this list and think about what they want, nothing else, so their family and Ivy Plus can figure out the rest. The academy strives to prioritize the student’s aspirations while taking into account their family’s limitations. To do this, Baker hosts an annual one-on-one meeting similar to the ones he did before Ivy Plus was created. During the meeting, Baker guides each family through a conversation about yearly income, the FAFSA, and other considerations that could affect the student’s decision and acceptance.

If you set the bar and you scaffold, and you help kids, they will reach the bar.

- Dr. William Bunton, JCPS’s Diversity, Equity, and Poverty Division.

They work together to pick apart these factors and find ways to overcome them, making the possibility of college tangible.

A Historical Standpoint:

In addition to helping seniors get into college, Ivy Plus Academy is fighting a bigger issue in the U.S.: academic inequality. The concept of academic equality was introduced in 1966, when the Equality of Educational Opportunity, also known as 38

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the Coleman Report, was released. The U.S. government commissioned sociologist Dr. Coleman to determine the impartiality of public schools across the nation. Contrary to previous models, Coleman surveyed the equality of outcome rather than the equality of input. In other words, just giving schools identical, new textbooks does not mean a district is equitable. For instance, one of those schools may have a large population of students who are behind their grade level in reading. This school would require more resources, such as more experienced teachers, to get their students to an equal playing field. Ideally, all students would have the same opportunities in school regardless of income, race, or gender. But in the U.S., academic achievement is heavily correlated with household income. A classic example is the relationship between SAT scores and income. As median family income increases, so do individual subject tests and overall SAT scores. The trend is seen in the ACT as well. Students who come from a family of high income can often afford tutoring or test preparation books. Time is also a valuable privilege. Working a part-time job or watching a sibling while a parent is at work cuts into study time. The effects of this correlation hurts students in the application process. Universities have tried to combat it by using a holistic admissions process, reviewing course rigor, GPA, extracurriculars, honors, essays, and test scores equally. But these standardized tests still hold weight with prestigious universities and scholarship consideration. So although test scores do not immediately get you in, they get your foot in the door.

A basic understanding of the college process is critical as well. Iosef Casas Gutierrez, a 22-year-old Ivy Plus Academy alum, felt the impact of this when he emigrated from Peru with his family. Both his parents received post-secondary education in Peru, but in the U.S. their degrees were not recognized. As the oldest of his extended family, Casas was the first to enter the college process in a new country. Like Doan, Casas also did not know much about Ivy Plus. “My first impression was simply that Ivy Plus would help me get into a good college,” Casas said. “Whatever that meant.” Ivy Plus introduced and guided Casas through this extensive process. The academy assisted him in finding extracurricular opportunities, studying for the ACT, and writing applications. Most of all, Casas was given a chance to believe in the abilities he had all along. “Ivy Plus pushed me to take a risk to apply to schools that by scores alone, I fell below average,” Casas said. In order to understand how academic inequality starts, we spoke to Dr. William Bunton and Dr. Stephanie White from JCPS’s Diversity, Equity, and Poverty Division. White, the diversity hiring specialist for JCPS, explained the gap of academic achievement can start before a child is born. “I would take it all the way back to birth, because when we talk about children, and childhood development, and language acquisition, it goes really back to prenatal care,” White said. The conditions a mother is in, such as her access to preventative care and healthy foods, affects the cognition of her child. Furthermore, the household environment a child grows up in will affect their preparation for

IVY PLUS FOUNDER – Beau Baker is a teacher at Fern Creek High School and head of the Ivy Plus program. He stands in his classroom on Dec. 9 after Ivy Plus students shuffle out the door. Photo by Mia Leon.

school. For instance, having a parent around to read and talk makes a difference in a child’s vocabulary. If the student has an unstable homelife, their ability to come to school and learn is often hindered. “You have some kids that start off with everything they ideally would need, ready to roll, and some kids that have minimal things that they need. So, of course, those who have less, tend to not be as prepared to start school,” White said. Although seniors in the college process may be fighting years of developing inequity, supporting students with necessary resources can bridge this gap. Bunton, the executive administrator for the division, recommends avoiding a deficit mindset, which focuses on problems over potential. “A lot of times that’s what people come with: ‘You don’t have

the ability to’ and ‘You can’t.’ Some of our teachers unfortunately have that mindset as well,” Bunton said. White also spoke on the benefits of students being exposed to a constant college culture. This culture can include parents taking their children to college events such as football games or encouraging students to think ahead to their future goals. The pennant wall is one way Ivy Plus promotes this culture at Fern Creek. Students are able to envision themselves achieving this goal, even if they are in the minority, the first in their family, or previously thought they could not achieve it. “If you set the bar and you scaffold, and you help kids, they will reach the bar.” Bunton added.

A School’s Responsibility: As student journalists, we had

to ask ourselves: why are these programs needed in the first place? But there was an even more challenging question at the foundation of it all: how much responsibility do public schools hold in ensuring student success in all areas of their life? Historically, schools only provided a place for education. Starting in the 1960s, schools started implementing social programs to combat poverty. In an interview with On the Record, Marty Polio, JCPS superintendent, discussed the tug of war for schools. Between nurturing students and being responsible for larger societal issues like food insecurity, homelessness, and mental health needs, the district is torn. “I am a firm believer that these are societal issues that the entire community should be wrestling with,” Pollio said. Fall/Winter 2021

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MEETING UP FOR A MISSION – Ivy Plus students

gather for a monthly meeting in Fern Creek High School on Thursday, Dec. 9. The students in the program mirror a family and meetings are filled with smiles and laughs as they discuss preparations for college and the future. Photo by Mia Leon.

CONGRATULATIONS! – Fern Creek senior Kim Doan spreads her

acceptance letters out on the Tom Sawyer Park table on Dec. 19. The early admission acceptance letters are a clear indication of the success that is to come for Doan. Photo by Mia Leon.

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WALL OF FAME – College banners signed by graduated Ivy Plus alumni hang in Mr. Baker’s room in Fern Creek High School on Dec. 9 for current students of the program to use as inspiration. Photo by Mia Leon.

This is where the real question of responsibility comes in. The administration is working to provide support to their students while abiding by the funding limitations set by the state government. “The Kentucky Constitution and the statutes that guide our finances are extremely strict. Probably more strict than almost any other entity, and you can only use funds that directly impact students that are enrolled in JCPS at that time that affect the learning,” Pollio said. He explained using a small example. When driving past JCPS schools in the morning or evening, crossing guards can be seen directing traffic for student safety. In 2019, Metro Council ceased funding for guards due to budget cuts, putting the responsibility on JCPS. “The attorney general has ruled several times that JCPS is not allowed to pay for crossing guards, because it doesn’t impact immediately what goes on inside of a school,” Pollio said. In a large school district like JCPS, public schools often have to prioritize some issues over others. This means the immediate needs of kids in school come before post-graduate plans. From a student’s perspective, although we know college isn’t a determining factor in success, we were conditioned to believe otherwise. Ivy Plus Academy empowers students with a choice, one they might not have been afforded before. Students choose to apply to the program, which colleges to apply to, and which path they would like to take. They are supported to open up new doors of opportunity. “Why am I going to limit my kid’s threshold for a future?” Baker said with a stern voice and

“

We owe them the ability to maximize their potential and future. - Beau Baker, Ivy Plus Founder

sharp eyes. “These kids don’t owe us a damn thing. We owe them the ability to maximize their potential and future.” Before they enter that future though, Ivy Plus seniors experience the culminating moment of their four years of hard work. The start of college acceptance announcements, a time seniors both dread and anticipate, had Iosef Casas more anxious than his classmates. While most of his peers had been able to celebrate their acceptances, Casas was still awaiting the release of the Ivies’ first-year decision admissions. He started with Yale’s email. Denied. Casas moved on to Cornell. Denied. Next up was UPenn. Denied. Disappointment starting to sink in, Casas remembered the last unread email: Dartmouth. Taking a breath, he loaded the application portal. Accepted. Sitting, shocked and elated, Casas did not celebrate alone long. The weight of his accomplishment fully sank in when he showed Baker, seconds before being pulled in for a hug. •

“

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FROM THE EDITORIAL BOARD The artists featured in this story are true testaments to the concept of creative freedom. Through their different mediums, these four young creators exemplify personal expression — each reflecting their own stories in their work. As youth writers, designers, and photographers, this story was incredibly close to our heart. Creative expression and artistic identity are what drive our magazine forward; it only makes sense to spotlight others doing the same thing.

ARI EASTMAN Ari is a junior designer in their first year on staff. They like designing because it allows them to express their ideas and surroundings in a more balanced way. “It’s an art medium I feel like I am good at.”

JACKSON BARNES

Jackson is a sophomore photographer in his first year on staff. He enjoys photography as a fun medium to work with that can present new perspectives. “It’s a really nice way to capture and portray the world around us.”

E H T

H e a r t Of Louisvill

Young artists navigate Louisville’s creative world while exploring their own craft. writing and design by ARI EASTMAN

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

LANIA ROBERTS ARTIST

LINEUP - LaNia Roberts, 25, poses for the camera in front of a variety of her self-portraits, Dec 1. She does work in different mediums, though the works displayed are water and acrylic. Photo by Jackson Barnes.

aNia Roberts (she/her) is a Louisville-based painter whose work is centered around her personal experiences and the people in her life. Roberts takes inspiration from her subjects, focusing particularly on shared personhood. “I feel like people who I see versions of myself inspire me the most in terms of who I want to spend 40 hours looking at and painting and really putting in time for,” she said. Roberts highlighted it was through painting that she developed self discovery; art intertwined with the idea of self importance has been and is still at the core of why she loves being an artist. Self portraits are an important part of her body of work. Roberts makes use of this style to add representation that is often lacking in local art. “No one understood or comprehended the experience of going into a museum and never seeing anyone that looked like me and if I saw someone that looked like me, it was a skinny Black woman, you know?” Roberts is adamant about keeping her focus on empowerment. She wants others to be proud of themselves no matter who they are or what they look like and she wants them to do it without needing approval from anyone else. “Never stop believing in yourself. Please make the effort in your lifetime to become your number one fan because you deserve it.” Fall/Winter 2021

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DOUG CAMPBELL

oug Campbell (he/him) is a local musician who performs under the name “The Sleeping Bag.” He primarily works in noise music and performance. Self-taught on many different instruments, Campbell began enjoying music at a young age. His dad was instrumental in expanding his repertoire by sharing his musical tastes from the 80’s and 90’s. During his teenage years, he continued to develop his musical palette by listening to other genres and attending punk rock shows. This diverse musical background has shaped his creative process. “It’s kind of like a collage… there’s a couple of my favorite artists who do similar things, like a lot of electronic musicians. Squarepusher works like that and my favorite album of all time is Summer Teeth by Wilco and that’s how they made that album.” Being a musician keeps Doug busy, but he’s also a college student. He knows that the music industry can be volatile so he’s making plenty of backup plans for the future. “To do it as a career is almost never an option. But I’m trying to do that. And the advice I would give is to go to college,” Campbell said. In addition to an album release out now, Campbell is continuing to develop new music and composition for the coming year. His next plans are to experiment with a unique style that he has yet to use. “Making music through programming — typing codes — is something that I really want to explore within the next two years, besides putting out a new album that is coming out next year called Until They Shut Us Down,” he said. Campbell’s newest album release is called “Can’t Wait To Become Frozen.”

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MUSICIAN

Some of The Sleeping Bag’s album covers.

BUNNY MORRIS unny Morris (they/him) is a Louisville writer who

WRITER

primarily focuses on poetry,

using their art as an outlet for personal expression. “It offers a means of piecing together your own thoughts, feelings, memories, and experiences … especially if you’re a marginalized person, or somebody who deals with mental illness or PTSD,” they said. Morris has a range of muses, taking inspiration from sources like community, art, and experimental

Cover of “A Performance of My Ecstasy”, written by Bunny Morris

video games. One significant influence found in their work is that of autotheory, a concept they describe as a feminist process of art making. “You’re making feminist autobiographical art and sort of placing yourself into a broader scope of feminism by just speaking to your thoughts, feelings, and stories,” they said. Classically trained in writing and composition, they still follow many of the things learned from college. Often, this formal training inspires them to push their own creative bounds. “I try to do this thing called ten by tens. Ten lines and ten syllables in each line. It’s really fun to do because you are so limited that you have to think outside of the box and try to force yourself to work inside those limitations and it makes it really interesting. I think understanding form is integral to breaking form.” Morris also holds a strong belief in community — collaboration being a driving force in their writing. Rather than being the “writer who is sitting alone at their desks at midnight spending hours and hours and hours writing,” Bunny believes that workshopping is an important step on the way to community action. “It’s impossible to create art that is important and impactful to broader communities unless you are actually doing actions outside of just pen and paper.” • Fall/Winter 2021

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FROM THE EDITORIAL BOARD For the last few years, we’ve made it a goal for our magazine to put an emphasis on “first-person reporting,” which includes more of the writer’s voice and personal outlooks on the pressing issues we cover. While sports are traditionally regarded as team endeavors, this story is a first person look at two athletes who go it alone, enduring personal struggles on their climb to the top.

UNHAR

LILY CASHMAN Lily is a sophomore reporter in her first year on staff. She enjoys writing because it provides her a space to share others’ voices through her own creativity.

SILAS MAYS Silas is a sophomore designer in his first year on staff. “Design gives me the opportunity to put my own style on my work.”

Lily Cashman, 15. Photo by Bella Tilford. 46

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PERSPECTIVE

RNESSED Without any restraints, bouldering unlocks a new sense of freedom. writing by LILY CASHMAN • design by SILAS MAYS

right orange with caution. My white dusted hand extends up, reaching as far as my arm can stretch. A single finger grips on to the obscure and grainy object with all its might, struggling to stay on. I adjust, continuing to pull my weight up. To my left somebody slips, falling to the crash mats below. I keep my eyes locked in—they reflect my goals, my challenges, my climb. I think of rock climbing as a story through life. I try to plan out the route as best as possible before I begin, but I will never truly know what it’s like until I’m on the wall. I must push myself past that fear of the unknown, past the fear of the risk that awaits. I must be capable of pushing the boundaries. Balance is the key. With every choice, I learn to trust in myself and my abilities. I allow my body to take control of my movements, engulfing myself in the present. I flow from hold to hold, moving deliberately and with a powerful delicacy. I feel a sense of safety within myself on the wall and though I go up solo, I never feel alone. Each hold is a hand reaching out to guide me, a

stepping stone to rise up on. I climb freely up the wall, no ropes or harnesses there to hold me. This is called bouldering, a specific form of rock climbing that usually involves shorter walls with more intricate holds. In the rock climbing world, boulder climbs are called “problems,” which is fitting because they bring about a lot of struggles. When I first walk up to the wall, I try to envision my moves before starting. The first try almost never works out; there is always some surprise hidden within the depths of the holds. It’s frustrating to try and try again, but that’s also part of the process. I am hyper-aware of my body while bouldering, the words “scared,” “high,” “misstep” echoing through my brain. I have to switch them off to find comfort. Maybe the risk is too high, but I yearn to reach the top. I let go of the fear, turning my problems into momentum. I climb to feel confidence in myself, to know that I am capable of looking past fear. I am free on the wall, relying purely on myself. A young man, barely older than myself, sits on the chalk covered mats of Climb NuLu, a bouldering facility in Louisville. He stares at the wall towering above him, making a mental note of the route. He views climbing

as a puzzle, each colored hold a different piece to try and fit together. A seemingly normal task of distributing his body weight is much harder for himself than other climbers, yet he knows there is always a way. Standing up from the mats, he hops over to the wall, only one leg there to support him. His name is Grayson Hume, a 17-year-old climber, skier, and student. Adopted from Ukraine when he was a baby, he grew up in Louisville spending much of his childhood exploring the outdoors and attending local summer camps. Like any other kid, he took interest in climbing trees— finding paths up uneven and swaying limbs. Hume stood a little taller at the tops of trees, away from all the rude comments and stares of other kids his age. Born with Proximal Femoral Focal Deficiency, a rare condition also known as PFFD, Hume had his right leg amputated at the age of two. PFFD affects about one in every 200,000 children around the world and Hume was born with the most severe stage: stage four. Learning to walk without a femur bone imposed many issues, leaving his parents to make the tough decision of amputating his leg. Hume explained how he always felt out of place, like he had a sixth sense that could Fall/Winter 2021

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KEEP PUSHING – Lily Cashman, 15, grabs a handhold with two hands and leans back,

preparing to climb higher up the wall at Climb Nulu on Dec. 3. Climb Nulu has a variety of walls. This wall faces the door and is the first thing most people see when they walk in. Photo by Bella Tilford. 48

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

detect people glancing at him. His leg was always the first thing people saw and the last subject they would bring up in fear of making him uncomfortable. When he was younger this especially affected him because he didn’t want to be seen as different, but he had grown to see his missing leg as part of his identity. To Hume, it was the sole factor that defined him and had detrimental effects on his body image. When Hume first walked into Climb NuLu four years ago, he instantly fell in love with it. “They don’t look at me like I’m handicapped,” Hume said. The gym is his safe place because everyone there is connected through a shared passion for climbing. When someone falls, others are there to help motivate them. They celebrate successes and work around their defeats. Walking into the gym, Hume clears his mind of everything else in his life, focusing solely on what is in front of him. In doing so, he can climb for the beauty of letting go. Hume recalled a fellow climber helping him with a route one day. They talked for a while, giving each other tips and guidance. This happens quite often at the gym — meeting someone new and working on a problem together. At one point the climber informed Hume that a company called Evolv makes prosthetics specifically for climbing. Hume’s regular prosthetic leg doesn’t work for bouldering, so he is forced to go without it. He has learned to move up the wall in his own way, something that now comes naturally to him. Instead of moving one hand then the opposite foot, he moves one hand then the other followed by hopping his left foot up. Hume is now getting a climbing foot made and looks forward to seeing how

far he can progress with the new attachment. “What the climbing community understands is that everybody goes through stuff,” Hume said. “People talk different, people look different, but no matter what we are all connected through climbing and that’s what we’re there to do.”

The shorts exposed his prosthetic and limp along with it. “Cripple,” called out a group of teenage boys from inside their car. The hot summer air made Hume’s shift at Chick-fil-A hard enough; he didn’t need disrespectful comments added to the mix. Hume has learned to handle these situations well, but they

really stuck with me,” Hume said. Hume has learned to seek his true identity, one separate from how he looks on the outside. For a long time he took the namecalling to heart, allowing the comments to bury inside him. “There was a point when it bothered me a lot because of the stares, the doubts,” Hume

“They celebrate successes and work around their defeats.” - Lily Cashman, 15 Outside of Climb NuLu, not everyone is as accepting. In the summer of 2020, Hume stood in his khaki shorts and red polo, walking from car to car taking drive-thru orders at Chick-fil-A.

still hurt to hear. He told the boys it’s not fair to make assumptions about his abilities before asking about his story. “It was more of that disappointment in society that

said. “When I walked into a building I had to prove myself to everybody else.” Hume said the jokes don’t offend him anymore because they aren’t attacking his character. He

CHALK TALK – Grayson Hume, 17, and Lily Cashman, 15, talk through the best climbing path for the advanced wall at Climb NuLu on Dec. 3. In the climbing community this is referred to as “solving a problem.” Photo by Bella Tilford.

Fall/Winter 2021

ON THE RECORD

GETTING A NEW ANGLE – Grayson Hume, 17, sticks his leg out onto one of the nearby walls, allowing him to get a better grip on his handhold at Climb Nulu on Dec. 3. Hume had his leg amputated at age 2 and has learned how to climb without it. Photo by Bella Tilford.

“I was purposely designed.” - Grayson Hume, 17

understands that people are going to be mean, but that it is out of his control. “I’m never uncomfortable talking about my story because it’s a story that I am proud of because it’s a part of me, but it doesn’t define me,” Hume said. His climb is towards self acceptance, a journey that is ever-evolving. The moment Hume stepped through the doors of Climb NuLu, he had taken off his harness. “There, I don’t really feel out of place ever because number 50

ON THE RECORD Fall/Winter 2021

one they don’t look at me any different and they don’t look at me like I’m handicapped,” Hume said. “They give me the tools to do rock climbing, they want to encourage me, and help out in any way they can.” He didn’t allow for others to hold him back or tell him that he wasn’t qualified to climb. He is as much of a climber as the person next to him, as capable of achieving his goals, and as willing as ever to try. Hume climbs to prove to himself he is more than just a person without a leg, that he is no different than anyone else, because he isn’t. “I was purposely designed,” Hume said. We both begin with the same goal in mind. From an outside perspective, the same destination.

Though our physical differences change the appearance of our climb we have both found our place on the wall. The fear has subsided as I have settled into my climb. I continue onward, moving up the wall with my new found confidence. The final orange hold is in sight, all I have to do is grasp on. But, I am still cautious, the added height of the final reach makes it that much more difficult. One-two- and by three I am pushing off my right foot and extending up. A deep exhale followed by a fulfilled grin emerges. I jump down from the top, no harness there to slow my fall. No harness needed, for I have learned to place my struggles on small footholds and to trust they will hold me there. •

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