My Child Magazine Issue 107 August 2020

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MAGAZINE.COM.AU

ISSUE 107 - AUGUST 2020

single parenting


EDITOR IN CHIEF

Bianca Medina ART DIRECTOR

Bianca Medina DEPUTY EDITOR

Caroline Meyer CONTRIBUTORS

Sheree Hoddinett Amy Adeney Lance Green Ketut Subiyanto Ksenia Chernaya Tatiana Syrikova Anna Shvets

CONTACT

My Child Magazine North Parramatta NSW Sydney Australia +614 11 572 877 editorial@mychildmagazine.com.au


Contents 6

40

74

Surviving As A Single Parent

Passive Smoking And Contact

Dad Read - Life Skills

12

Contamination

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46

Custody Laws In Australia

Get The Look Interiors

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56

Divorced Parenting

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What You Need To Know About

Financial Planning As A Single Parent

24 Book Reviews

28 Help And Support For Single Parents

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Poisoning

62 What You Need To Know About The Coronavirus

68 Toy Reviews

Fathers Day Gift Guide

86 Toxic Grandparents

92 Blogger -Small Minds In A Big World

96 Fashion

106 Fashion Feature - Bassike

118 Recipes

Labour Tips for First Time Mums

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MY CHILD DIRECTORY

DISCLAIMER: It My Child Magazine and mychildmagazine.com.au are wholly owned by My Child Magazine (ABN 79 167 787 662). No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in the company or in My Child or mychildmagazine.com.au. My Child contains general information only and does not purport to be a substitute for health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. Reproduction of any material without written permission by the publisher is strictly forbidden. We cannot accept responsibility for material lost or damaged in the post or for any unsolicited manuscripts and photographs. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.


Bianca Medina editor-in-chief

Editor’s Letter

Howdy Everyone, I hope you are all safe, well and health and sane! So this month is kind of the same as last, nothing has changed, yet everything is ever changing! Corona virus is still presenting us all with challenging times, that can sometimes result in making life a little difficult, but just keep reminding yourself to take away the lessons that the universe is trying to teach you! Never before have I valued each and every day the way I do now. The mornings seem a little brighter and as the weather warms up, I’m actually enjoying the simple pleasure of being outside in the sun. One thing that covid has really push home for me is the role I play as a mother. Life is busy, but these days I have nothing but time. Time at this point in time (excuse the pun), is truly my friend. Lately I am really enjoyed having little chats with my five year old and seeing the world through her eyes. Everything is either positive, hilarious just so innocent to the harsh realities of the world. This time we are stealing together, will further cement the bond we have. I thank the universe for making me slow down to enjoy and remember what’s really important, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kick 2020 to the kerb side in a heartbeat! Until Next Month

Bianca oxo


editor’s picks

Ellus & Krue EPI-gN™ Serum $248 ellusandkrue.com.au

Sausage Roll Maker $29 kmart.com.au

Dharma the Llama $10 kmart.com.au

Teeth Whitening Starter Kit $44.95 pearlywhites.com

Michael Kors $186 farfetch.com

Nike Premier League Skills Football Ball $19.99 rebelsport.com.au

Simone $199 oscarwylee.com.au

Otter Slipper $49.95 peteralexander.com.au

ETERNAL FLOWER BEE PIERCED EARRINGS $99 swarovski.com



surviving as a single parent written by: caroline meyer


Just because you are a single parent does not mean that your children need to fare more harshly in the world that those raised by two parental figures or more. Your child can do just as well in school and be stable mentally and emotionally. If you are a responsive parent that nurtures and supports you child will thrive. Yes, you will make mistakes, everyone does. Realise that you are not perfect and learn from your mistakes. Know how you want to raise your child and stick to the rules and regulations in your own home. Having firm boundaries make a child feel safer. Try and remain consistent and if the other parent has custody as well, try and get them to stick to the general family rules. Support from friends and family can also be great when you are raising one or more children without backup from a second parent. 8

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During a separation and divorce children may struggle to deal with emotions. The strong emotions coming from the parents may also exacerbate the problem. Sit your child down and explain to them that they are loved. They need to know the separation is not their fault and even though mum and dad can’t work things out it doesn’t mean that they are loved less. To build a positive relationship with your children you can find ways to nurture them and make them feel loved and secure. Makes sure to spend quality time with your child daily. Bedtime stories are great for this, but you could also play games or sing in the car, have your child use their imagination and tell you a story over dinner. Make the most of the time you have together. Make sure that you show interest in your child. Find out what books they like, what sports interest them or simple things such as their favourite colour or foods. If you have more than one child, make sure to have some one-on-one time together too and give individual attention. Try and keep the attention positive as much as possible. Laugh together. Give them a hug goodbye when you drop them and a smile when you pick them up from school or day-care. They need to know you are happy to see them. During stressful times, your children may act up and you may find it difficult to cope with the bad behaviour. If your usual boundary setting and discipline is not working to correct the problem, you may want to speak to your AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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doctor about recommending someone to help your child work through their emotions. You can also try encouraging your child to talk about how they feel instead of acting out. Acknowledge how they feel but do not condone unacceptable behaviour such as hitting, biting, screaming, swearing and so forth. Not every problem needs to be addressed as a crisis. As a single parent, disciplining may be exhausting after a full day of work. You may need to pick your battles. As long as there is no major violation of the house rules, you may be able to let some things slide a little. When you don’t sweat the small stuff, you have more energy to deal with bigger issues. If no one is getting hurt, you might want to take a breath, stay calm and save your energy for the mountains instead of spending it on the mole hills. Keeping a balance can be difficult. You don’t want to be too harsh and spend all your time screaming or punishing your children. You also don’t want to let things go that are important simply to keep the peace. It is very important to instil discipline and good behaviour in the home and out. You have to learn to react in a calm fashion but carry through on punishments where they are needed. This will save you tons of headaches later on. You are your child’s role model, so how you behave also lays a foundation for their future behaviour. While you might want to hide your emotions from your children when you are feeling angry, sad or 10

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stressed out, they are likely to see this sometimes. Your child needs to know that it is normal for everyone to feel emotions, both positive and negative. Let your child know that how you are feeling is not due to anything they have done. Reassure them and let them know how much they are loved. You can be a bit more honest as to how you are feeling and why when your children are older and better able to understand, but for little ones this can be frightening and difficult to take in. When you can express how you feel to the older child, it may also help them put how they feel into words instead of acting out. For the most part, until your children are in their late teens, avoid more adult conversations. Little ones won’t understand issues such as infidelity, financial problems and so forth and may feel high levels of anxiety trying to understand. Save these discussions for adult friends or trusted family members. If you do not have a good support network there are also parenting and support helplines you could contact or even a session or two with a therapist to get some of your emotions out in private. Remember though, as tough as it may seem sometimes, it is worth it to raise a happy, healthy child into a well-adjusted adult. Love and support go a long way to helping your children adjust to the changes in their life. You will probably find concentrating on your kids and enjoying all the love and cuddles will also go a long way to helping you heal. AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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CUSTODY LAWS IN AUSTRALIA Written By: Caroline Meyer



The laws in Australia are relatively straight-forward. Children have the right to have a meaningful relationship with both parents as well as to be protected from harm. The protection from harm side of things is taken into account above the rights to spend time with both parents. The child’s best interests come first. When a child is a minor (under 18 years old), the parental responsibility is 50:50 and both parents are equally responsible for the child’s needs. Both parents have the same responsibility when it comes to looking out for the child’s healthcare needs, religious observance, which school will be attended and other long-term decisions. That being said, this does not mean that the child will spend 50% of their time with either parent. This may be decided by the parents or the court. Usually the child will live with one parent and spend time with the other parent outside of the home. With an older child, this can be discussed and they make want to have some say in the matter. For the most part, unless the court determines otherwise, the parents discuss the needs of the child and make the decision on who has the child and when. These types of parenting agreements can be done through the court (consent orders) or by drawing up a written agreement between both parents without resorting to the courts. Even if there is some animosity between the separated or divorced parties, this should be put aside when it comes to deciding the best arrangement for the child or children. If you are unable to do so, you can also make use of a mediator to help you reach a compromise or a decision that seems relatively fair to all parties. When no resolution can be reached, you may then need to take it further. In a family law court, the judge will make the decision based on what he deems to be in the best interest of the child. The Family Law Act lays down the principles behind the decisions as to what the best interest of the child may be. 14

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Along with equal responsibility comes financial responsibility for the child. Even if the child spends more time with one parent, both parents are responsible for the costs involved in raising the child. Parents can agree on what is fair between them or they can apply for a child support assessment. This will help determine an equable split of costs between both parents.

“ Children have the right to have a meaningful relationship with both parents as well as to be protected from harm.”

The custody laws are clear when it comes to responsibility for taking care of a child physically. One thing that separated or divorced parents need to take into account if the child’s mental well-being. While you may offer your child options as to where they live or who they spend time with when they are old enough, custody should never be used to pressure a child to make decisions where they feel the need to choose between parents. As far as possible, shared custody should be amicable. Do not speak badly of the other parent or encourage bad behaviour. Be open and honest with your child. They will be going through a lot of emotions during the first few months after a separation or divorce and will also need time to settle into the routine. Know your rights and those of your child when it comes to custody and support. There are many resources available that can assist with this. One thing you need to remember though is that the welfare of the child should always be paramount. Your child’s health and happiness are what you are aiming for, no matter what went wrong between you and the other parent of your child. AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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DIVORCED PARENTING written by: CAROLINE MEYER


Being a single parent can be very challenging and the transition from a married couple to two single parents after a divorce, can be difficult. Just because the relationship between the two of you has broken down doesn’t mean you also stop being parents. While you have the opportunity to find alternatives to create happiness for yourself, you also need to take into the account the needs of your children. Active co-parenting can make things better for your children and you can interact with your ex-partner in a positive way for the overall good of the children. During the legal process of a divorce there will be many legal matters that have to be addressed including division of combined property and custody of the children. If you are not able to handle this amicably, you may want to discuss matters through a mediator or hire a legal professional to help you come to a compromise. As far as possible, try and work things out between you to keep things pleasant and also help reduce legal costs. The main aim is to come to a compromise and ensure the well-being of the kids after all is said and done. Animosity between parents can have a detrimental effect on the children and even cause psychological scars that may require therapy down the line. It is important to keep your children in the forefront of your mind while going through the process. Do not discuss disputes between you and your partner with the children and do not bring them into any slanging matches. Maintain positive communication while in the company of the children to prevent a toxic environment in the home while you resolve things with your spouse. Discuss all parenting matters with your ex-partner as this should remain outside of any other considerations. Your children should be able to have a good relationship with both parents. Both you and your ex-partner can be supportive of your children and create a stable, healthy environment for them to grow up in, even if you are no longer together. If you co-operate with each other and ensure that you agree on the important things when it comes to raising your children, this is entirely possible. Not being in constant conflict in the home is more beneficial 18

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to the child than constant arguing and fighting between parents. Even if you are apart, you can offer a healthier environment than one that is full of tension and negative emotions. Once the split is complete, it is important to communicate with the other parent in a positive way when it comes to the upbringing of the children. The current divorce process calls for a minimum of 12 months of separation before the divorce can proceed. This does not mean that you have to live in a different home, but this is usually what happens. Once this divorce application goes in, this can take a further 3 months or more before the divorce is finalised. This gives you 15 months before you are fully single and, in that time, you can start to look at positive co-parenting for the sake of children in the relationship. During the 3-month period after application for divorce, custody, property and other matters are settled. This can often be a rough time in the process and much vitriol may be spewed. Keep this private or in the lawyer’s office and not in front of minors. If the divorce is one-sided, you will need to attend a divorce hearing at the Court to ensure that adequate arrangements have been made for the children after the divorce process is finalised. When it comes to settling matters with regards to the children, the best outcomes come from responsible decision making between both parents. While you are both still responsible for the children, you will need to decide on custody, financial responsibility and more. Decisions such as these have long term impact on your children, so it is important that a lot of thought goes into these decisions. No matter what went wrong between you and your partner (unless there was domestic abuse or similar involved), you should do your best to continue with a positive parenting experience for your children even when you and your partner are no longer together. Your children will be the ones who thrive or wilt in the years following a divorce if you are not able to co-parent with your ex-partner. Keep it civil and create an environment conducive to happy, healthy children. AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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financial planning as a single parent WRITEN BY: CAROLINE MEYER



Even people in long-term relationships may find financial planning and budgeting quite difficult. As a single parent, this concern can become even more pressing. In general people have 1 or 2 sources of income such as their own earnings and possibly child support payments. Some people also have access to government grants or help from family. Wherever your income comes from, you will need to ascertain what is coming in and what needs to be paid out. Once you know what your income is, you need to sit down and plan a monthly budget. Besides the bills, you need to plan for things such as school supplies, clothing, food, transport, entertainment and so forth. If you have not budgeted before, you may want to get someone you trust to sit with you and help you plan out your finances. You are the one that will ultimately be responsible for your finances, so while it is important to listen to advice, what you decide on at the end of the day is up to you. You get to determine your savings and long-term financial planning and if you want to pay off debts faster. You also get to decide where any excess funds be invested. For some single parents, things may be extremely tight and this makes budgeting even more crucial. It may result in a lot less spending on non-essentials. Track your spending to see exactly what you spend your money on to get a good overall view of where your money is going. This may also help you save some funds to put away for a rainy day. A combined bank account looks very different to a bank account with only your income coming in. You are responsible for what comes in and what comes out. You may also have some shocks along the way that you did not have to deal with before which could include car repairs, medical bills and other unplanned expenses. A leaky pipe can be devastating if you are living on a shoe-string budget. Your budget will also need to account for expenses 22

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that are not a necessity but may be important to you personally such as buying the children birthday and Christmas presents. A vacation with the kids can break the bank if you haven’t planned well and put enough aside to cover most eventualities. Make sure you monitor your bank accounts well for incorrect charges, fraud and unexplained charges. Make sure you do the same with your loan accounts, credit cards and not just your checking or savings accounts. Look at where you can save and also try and pay off loans with higher interest rates first. Knowing exactly what is owed, the interest rate and what it costs you to borrow money can go a long way to reducing these types of expenses as quickly as possible and freeing up funds for the household budget and savings accounts. Budget for the future. The day to day budget is important to keep the wolf from the door, but it is also important to look to the future. Investing in accounts for your child’s future is important too. Emergency funds in savings is important to tide you over in an emergency, but you also need to look at investing in financial products for your child’s education. Other financial products that are important to have include life insurance, especially those that have living benefits in the case of contracting a dread disease or being unable to work due to an accident. Shop around for a product that makes sense for you financially that offers as much as possible to protect your children’s future. Having a solid budget will allow you to cut down on bad spending habits and invest in securing a better future for yourself and your children. It will also reduce stress if you know you can pay the bills and then breathe a sigh of relief when the finds in your account belong to you and not your debtors. Even if you can only squeeze a little out of the budget every month to put aside, it will grow over time and give you a cushion when things get tough or there are unexpected expenses. AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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BOOK e

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s

by: Amy Adeney from Busy Bookworms

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F IS F O R FA SH I O N, DAR LIN G BY JAMES TYLER AND NAOM I W I LKI NSON F is for Fashion, Darling is an al p hab e t book parody for parents who k now t he i r Prada from their Pampers. Thi s b ook wi l l take you from A to Z throug h t he m ost iconic words and phrases f rom t he wor l d of f ashion. But the words and p hr ase s spoken on catwalks and in bout i q ue s t ak e on diff erent meanings for ne w p ar e nt s: Bold Prints are made by m uc k y hand s, Power Dressing involves a ma sk and c ap e , and Luxury is being able to sl e e p t hr ough the night...

Ba b ies a n d t od d lers will lov e e x p l o r i n g th e b righ t , p op p in g a rt works, a n d p a r en ts wi l l b e ju st a s en t ert a in ed b y t h e k n o wi n g n o d s t o t h e exp erien c e of b ein g a n ew p a r en t. Th is b ook wou ld ma ke a fab u l o u s b i r th gift for f a sh ion -lov in g p a ren t s , a n d wi l l b e en joy ed b y c h ild ren (a n d a d u l ts ! ) f o r b i r th on wa rd s.

MY SH ADOW IS PINK B Y S C O T T S T U A RT My Sh a d o w i s P in k is a b eau t ifu lly written st o r y t h a t t o u ch es o n t h e s u b jects of g e nde r i d e n ti ty, s elf a c c ep t an c e, e quality a nd d i v e r s i ty . In s p ir ed b y t h e a uthor’s o w n li tt l e b o y , t h e ma in c h a r a c t er likes prince s s e s , f a i r ies an d t h in g s ‘ not for bo ys’ . . . T h ou g h h e s o o n lear n s , t hrough the su p p o r t o f h is d ad , t h a t ever yone has a sha d ow th a t t h ey s o met im es feel they ne e d to h i d e , bu t t h at h e n eed s t o learn to lo v e a n d a c c ep t h is s h a d o w a s i t is. T h is is a n i m p o r tant book which can serv e as a s p r i n g b o ard for dis cus s ion a b ou t c o nc e p ts i n cl u d ing unconditional lov e, re sp e ct a n d p o s itive pare nting. A fa n t a st ic c ho ic e f o r ch i l d ren age d three to eigh t , wh o will lov e th e l i vely, e ngaging illus tra t ion s and rh y m i n g te xt.

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T H E B OY WH O B U R PED BY FELI CI TY MCVAY AND CAROL I N E SELTZ Meet Barnaby, a little boy fr om B ond i who loves to burp. Barnaby can b ur p on demand and even entertain his f r i e nd s b y burping the alphabet. But whe n B ar nab y tries to stop burping, he can’t ! B ar nab y tries everything f rom changing hi s d i e t to standing upside down and wal k i ng backwards.

Th is d eb u t p ic t u re b ook b y Sy dn ey -b a s ed a u t h or Felic it y M c Va y will b e a d el i g h tf u l a d d it ion t o a c h ild ’s b ooksh elf . R ea d er s will la u gh ou t lou d a s t h ey rea d t h e r h y m i n g t ext a n d t ra v el a lon g wit h Ba rn a b y , wh o i s b ea u t if u lly illu st ra t ed b y Fren c h i l l u s tr a to r C a rolin e Selt z . Ba rn a b y will su rel y b ec o me a p re-b ed t ime fa v ou rit e wit h c h i l d r en a g ed t wo a n d u p .

PINK! BY M A RG A R E T RO S S E L L

WIL D

AND

J UDI TH

P ink is a s m a l l d in o s au r wh o s t a nds out am o ng s t th e r e s t o f t h e b r o wn an d green and b l u e d i n o s au r s in h er fo r es t . Hideand- se e k i s h e r fa vo u r it e g a m e, but her co lo ur m e a n s s h e’ s alwa ys t h e first one to be f o u n d . S h e d o es n ’ t wa n t t o be pink anymo r e . . . u n t i l h er d iffer en c e h el ps her fr ie nd s f i n d t h eir w ay h o m e ag a in .

Aw a rd- w i n n i n g author Margaret Wild de liv e r s y e t a n other adorable ne w pic t u re bo o k a b o u t a ccepting yours elf and f in d in g yo ur s t r e n g th s , with s tunning illus tr a t ion s fr o m a w a r d - w inning illus trator Ju d it h Ro sse ll . A b e a u tiful choice for readers a ged th re e a n d u p .

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HELP AND SUPPORT F


FOR SINGLE PARENTS WRITTEN BY: CAROLINE MEYER


Single parents may need a little extra help from friends and family. Some of the ways that people can help is with emotional support, to be an ear to listen and perhaps offer practical advice where possible. Another way that people can help single parents who are struggling is to offer to help them reduce their workload. This can take the form of a lift club, offering a meal or anything else you can think of that they will welcome. Social support is also generally welcome as it allows for adult company and even situations such as play dates which free parents up to do other things. Simply going for a haircut can be difficult with an infant and having a parent that can look after your child when you need to do so can be a blessing. It can be very difficult to ask for help and single parents may feel that they need to be able to handle everything on their own. They may also feel that they are taking advantage of others by making use of their assistance and support. The truth is, most people enjoy being able to help out and would do so with pleasure if asked. As a single parent you can offer quid pro quo. Offer to take care of their kids in exchange 30

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for them taking care of yours at different times. Often a single parent will feel less uncomfortable asking for help when they can offer something in return. It may also be difficult as a single parent to know who to turn to. Some suggestions of people that can offer support include friends and family. Family will often be ready with open arms to help. If you feel there is too much complications to ask your family, you can also try asking friends. This is usually a lot less complicated and possible less emotionally charged. You can also look for assistance from people that you get to know through your child’s school, childcare centre, clubs, support groups or religious groups. People that you work with or have got to know through other means may also be prepared to help out, even if it is just to listen when you need to vent. If you are looking for advice, you can also speak to your doctor or people at the local clinic. If you find the need to have someone listen to your issues without emotional involvement, you may want to book an appointment with a counsellor. Online counselling may also prove useful especially if it is difficult for you to be outside AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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of your home or if you are unable to find a sitter and desperately need some advice. Look around in your community for services and connections that may be able to assist you when needed. Playgroups, toy libraries, reading groups, community houses and other places in your community may be able to offer valuable support. Look online, at the library, at your child’s school or aftercare or ask other parents if they know of any groups in your area. This could prove invaluable to you. You will come into contact with other parents at child care, school, sporting events, clubs and so forth. Making friends with other parents may offer you extra resources. They may also be able to offer advise and emotional support if you get to know them. They have probably faced many challenges as well and can offer you some insights. Try joining clubs such as sports, crafts or book clubs and meet people through these groups. Many of them will be parents as well and may be supportive. Parenting is not easy and you don’t have to feel you have to go it alone. Reach out to other people for support. You may have 32

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a massive network or only a small group of people you feel you can rely on, but you will need other people for the betterment of your own emotional well-being. Having other positive role models around can also help your children. Make sure to avoid negative people though as they won’t be of benefit to you or your children emotionally. You may find you lose some friends when you are a single parent, simply because you have different priorities. This is also why it is important to make new friends as well. Sometimes reaching out to old friends that you lost touch with can also help you build up a good support network again. This is especially true if you lost touch with friends through your divorce. It may be easy to reconnect and discover the old familiarity. If you find yourself at your wits end and no support is readily available, you could look at taking some time out by taking your children to the park or a child friendly restaurant where they can play safely while you enjoy a cup of coffee. Invite a friend with kids and you can socialise while the kids play. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to do it all alone. AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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Labour Tips for First Time Mums Written by Caroline Meyer


You have probably heard tales of the per fec t bir ths that you feel you could never live up to. You will probably have heard some horror stories where ever y thing went wrong. When it comes to labour and deliver y, especially the f irst time around it can seem quite scar y and you may become quite anxious. Knowing what to expec t and reducing the unknowns as much as possible can make you feel calmer and less stressed when preparing for the big day. We answer a few common questions to help you on the way. How likely is it that you would need a Caesarean sec tion? First time mums that are not carr ying multiple babies and who go into spontaneous labour on have around a 15% risk of needing a C-sec tion. The risk is higher for multiples, premature babies or when labour is induced. This can be as high as a 1 in 3 chance of needing a C-sec tion under these circumstances on average. If you have a doula, your chances of a C-sec tion are reduced by 40%. Doulas are able to help you change positions, of fer back massages for the pain and generally suppor t you throughout the deliver y. They will be there through the entire bir th and this seems to improve the chances of a natural vaginal bir th. They are experienced and can advocate for you from a position of knowledge. You can ac tually hire a doula to assist throughout your pregnanc y, which helps when it comes to the bir th as you will feel comfor table with the person. If you doc tor wants to schedule a Caesarean, you are within your rights to ask if it is possible to tr y for a normal labour and deliver y f irst as long as there is no increased risk of harm to you or your baby. Even during deliver y, when a C-sec tion is of fered, there may be other alternatives to tr y such as changing position or allowing the labour to continue a lit tle longer before a C-sec tion becomes the only alternative. If a C-sec tion becomes necessar y during labour, a consent form can be signed and the 36

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procedure can be done almost immediately and be over within an hour or so. How painful is it going to be? A lot depends on your pain threshold, but yes, labour does hur t. There are medications that can be of fered to make it less painful but even if you choose not to use these, the worst par t is over quickly and you have the reward of your new lit tle addition to the family. Labour pain is not for nothing. It helps us move and change position in order to progress the bir th. Most women handle the early stages of deliver y fairly easily and pain is akin to backache or period pains and is for the most par t bearable. The transition period usually lasts from 1 to 3 hours and this is when the going can get a lit tle rough. This is followed by ac tively pushing, which is usually over quite quick. Then there is the euphoria af ter wards when your baby is in the world and the pain is already fading from your mind. If you have major concerns about handling the pain, you can speak to your doc tor about a pain management plan during labour that can include medications such as an epidural to help you through it. There are also alternatives such as using a TENS unit for pain. It has also been found that prac tising Yoga during your pregnanc y helps reduce pain through breathing exercises, relaxation techniques and being able to move your body to reduce some of the discomfor t. You can at tend bir thing classes during the last trimester as well as a way to gain knowledge and prepare you for labour and bir th. They also teach breathing techniques, position changes and other ways of reducing the pain or being able to tolerate it bet ter. What if the baby gets stuck? How big baby is or if you have wide hips doesn’t seem to have as much of an impac t on the progression of labour as you would think. Quite of ten, its baby lying in an awk ward position or the head being titled in a strange way. If AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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this happens and baby is passing through the bir th canal the way he should, a C-sec tion will be done. There are ways to reduce the risk of baby being in an awk ward position and not moving down the canal properly. Stay upright and mobile as much as possible during the labour. If you have a bir thing ball, you can tr y swivelling on the ball or use it to make back and for th and side-to-side rocking motions. You can also rotate your pelvis while standing (have your par tner there to suppor t you while you do this) and prac tise hip circles similar to a belly-dancer move. Swaying side to side and rotating your body helps make more room for the baby to move into position and down the bir th canal. If your deliver y is not progressing the way it should and baby is close to crowning, your doc tor may use alternate methods such as vacuum ex trac tion or forceps to help bring baby out. If baby is fur ther up and these methods are not possible, a Caesarean will be recommended. If you are concerned, speak to your doc tor before deliver y so you are aware of what these procedures entail. What if I have to be cut or I tear during deliver y? Episiotomy (a cut in the perineum) is usually done to prevent serious tearing and is done in around 12% of natural bir ths. Smaller tears may happen during the bir th. You doc tor will put in stitches af ter the bir th. These heal naturally in a few weeks af ter bir th. To avoid tearing, you can tr y perineum stretching exercises during pregnanc y. During labour you can tr y upright positions or lying on your side when giving bir th to reduce the risk of tears. Some places will have squat bars that can be used during bir th so that you can remain upright. Even if you have had an epidural it is possible to use these. You can ask for a warm compress to be placed on the perineum before bir th to help the area become more elastic and able to stretch bet ter without tearing. Af ter a tear in this


area, it may tingle and itch a bit while it heals and the area could feel a bit tight. Oestrogen cream may be prescribed to help the area heal faster. You can sit in a bath daily to help make it feel less tight and itchy. By 6 weeks the wound should be completely healed. If you have any concerns during the healing process you need to speak to your doc tor especially if it is ex tremely painful, inf lamed or not healing normally. What if I don’t get to the hospital on time? In general, especially in f irst labours, it takes quite some time from the star t of contrac tions to the ac tual labour. Most moms get to the hospital long before they need to and may even be sent home. Generally, the rule of thumb is to call your doc tor or midwife when your water breaks or the contrac tions are around 5 minutes apar t. Being at the hospital is more stressful than home and can ac tually cause the labour to take a lot longer. If you go through at the 5 -minute contrac tion mark you are unlikely to give bir th in the car. If due to unforeseen circumstances you can’t get there on time and baby is born somewhere outside of the hospital, cut the cord, swaddle baby in something warm and clean the mouth and nostrils for ease of breathing. Make your way to the hospital as quick as you can. Baby is more than likely to be just f ine. What if my labour lasts for days? Early labour can last for days but contrac tions are ver y mild, widely spaced and the discomfor t level is quite low. Ac tive labour, when the cer vix begins to dilate and the contrac tions are closer together and more intense does not usually last for more than 8 hours. Once your water breaks your doc tor is unlikely to allow your labour to continue for more than 24 hours without inter vention. Stay ac tive and relax as much as you can during early labour. The intense par t will go quicker and be over before you know it.


PASSIVE SMOKIN CONTAMINATION


NG AND CONTACT N Written by Caroline Meyer


We know that smoking is bad during pregnancy and smoking around children is bad, but what is second and third hands smoke and what is its effect on our children? Second-hand smoke is a combination of the smoke that is breathed out by the smoker and the smoke that comes from the burning cigarette itself. The most common way for children to come into contact with secondhand smoke is when family, parents and family friends are smoking. When a person breathes in second-hand smoke, it is also called passive smoking. When someone smokes in an area, smoking residue lands on almost all surfaces, this is known as third-hand smoke. Surfaces include hair, clothing, skin, flooring and furniture. This means that even after adults have finished their cigarette, babies and children will still be exposed to these harmful toxins. Third-hand smoke cannot be removed by opening windows, airing out rooms, using air conditioners and fans or even by limiting the areas in a home where smoking is allowed. The risks associated with second-hand and third-hand smoke exposure are much higher for babies and children. The reason for this is that children’s airways are in the process of developing and are much smaller than those 42

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of an adult. Another reason is that an adult’s immune system is more mature than those of children and infants. Babies and children are also more susceptible to toxin exposure due to them generally being close to or on the floor. They also put their toys and hands, and therefore the toxins accumulated on the floor, into their mouths. When children are exposed to second-hand smoke, the risk of diseases and early death are increased. An example is how inhalation of second-hand smoke can cause a baby’s breathing and heart rate to be impaired, thus the babies’ risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is increased. This also applies when the unborn baby is exposed to secondhand smoke through the mother. The risk of SIDS increases with the increase of secondhand smoke exposure. Swelling and irritation of their airways can also be caused from being exposed to second-hand smoke. Children who are exposed to second-hand smoke are at a higher risk of developing respiratory and other health problems in comparison to those who aren’t. Some examples of these issues include: • Asthma • Bronchiolitis • Bronchitis • Childhood cancers, such as leukemia • Croup AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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• Ear infections • Meningococcal disease (including meningitis and septicaemia) • Pneumonia • Tonsillitis The brain is highly sensitive to even a small amount of toxins; therefore, the developing brain is likely to be affected when exposed to second-hand and third-hand smoke. The risks associated with exposure are even higher when the child has existing lung or health disorders. Children living with one or more smokers tend to visit the doctor more often than other children, and the chance that they will pick up the habit doubles increasing their risks of respiratory related diseases and cancers later in life. The first, and best, way to protect your child from the dangers of second-hand and thirdhand smoke exposure, is to quit smoking and encourage other adults who come into contact with your child to also quit. This option not only reduces your child’s exposure to the toxins from cigarettes, but also gives them role models who do not smoke. However, if other people in your household smoke or you are not willing to quit, there are other options that will ensure some reduction in your child’s exposure to smoke. • Firstly, it is important to make sure that the 44

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environment your child is in is smoke-free. This means people are not smoking near your child, in your house or car. It also means that you should ensure that even when your child is not at home, they are not being exposed to smoke, such as at a friend’s house or babysitter. You and other smokers will have to smoke a distance away from your child, never in an enclosed area. Simply blowing smoke away from the child will not stop the harmful effects. Smoke outside of the home and away from the children to reduce exposure to the smoke. • You should never allow smoking in a car where children are carried. Opening a window does not stop your child from being exposed to the smoke. Do not smoke in your own car and do not allow your child to travel in a car where the other occupants smoke. • The best thing to do is to keep the child’s environment smoke-free by insisting that no one smokes in your house, car or around your child. It is also up to you to reduce your child’s exposure from other people outside your home. Your child’s health and safety are extremely important and reducing the risk of disease should be high priority. Avoiding exposure to smoking as well as second and third hand smoke can go a long way to removing a potential problem that can cause life-long damage. AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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INTERIORS

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nursery Photo: The Fine Cotton Company


Sleigh Royale Cot Bed $1699.95 boori.com

Micky Complete Table Lamp $99 templeandwebster.com.au

Baby Toothpick Mouse Plush $36.99 tinyfox.com.au 50

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Bedside Cabinet Solid Fir Wood $190 vidaxl.com.au

Zermatt Shag Rug $179 aurugs.com

Seville Organic 600TC Sateen Cot Duvet Cover $90 thefinecottoncompany.com

Sheridan Baby Darcee Pram Blanket $44.95 sheridan.com.au

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k i d s Photo: Norsu Interiors


French Linen Quilt Cover $220 ilovelinen.com.au

Middle of Nowhere Cactus Resort Print $288 norsu.com.au

Cloud Lamp $34.90 thedecorhouse.com.au

Wooden Bedside Table with White Drawer $99 au.tommyswiss.com

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Cabin Single Bed $269 fantasticfurniture.com.au

Florida Round Cushion $59.95 pillowtalk.com.au

Crochet Giraffe $55 pailrabbit.com

Cloud wall lamp, oiled oak $103.00 finnishdesignshop.com AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT POISONING Written By: Caroline Meyer



Accidents involving poison are not an uncommon occurrence around the house. They occur all the time, with about 50 Australian children admitted to hospital weekly due to poisoning. These accidents are usually unexpected, your child could open bottles or cupboards without you realizing, thus it is important to plan ahead and be aware of the new skills your child is developing in order to prevent accidents. A child should not be left unsupervised around household poisons. The adult should always be alert and undistracted so that they can step in if need be. Many substances that are meant for daily usage can actually be poisonous. Most of them are only poisonous when they are used incorrectly, for example if dishwashing powder is ingested or comes into contact with your eyes it can be harmful. Medicines can also be poison, they happen to be the biggest cause of poisoning in children, being the reason for 70% of cases when it comes to child poisoning. Majority of medicines can become poisonous if the dosage is too large, this also applies to vitamins and herbal medication. Once you become aware of which substances pose a threat to your child’s safety, it will be easier to protect them from coming int to contact with them. If you suspect that your child has ingested a poisonous substance, take immediate action. Have your child 58

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and the container of the substance near you when you phone the Poisons Information Centre. Here you can receive medical advice any time, wherever you are in Australia. For more serious cases where the child needs urgent attention call an ambulance or get your child to hospital as soon as possible. All potentially harmful substances such as medicines, cleaners and chemicals, should be stored out of the reach of children in high, secured cupboards. A sufficient height of the chosen cupboard should be 1.5 meters or higher and there should be child resistant locks on the doors. Some other precautionary measures you can take to prevent poisoning includes: • Making sure all potentially dangerous items are not accessible, before your child starts climbing and moving around. • Locking away any chemicals, medicines and cleaners in a safe storage place and put them away straight after use • Ensuring that all cupboards and containers are child resistant. This means that they will not be able to access any of your medicines, cleaners and chemicals. • Keep any potentially harmful products in their original packaging. Do not decant, mix or store dangerous substances into containers that are used for food or drink. Do not put liquid chemicals such AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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as weed killers, paint thinners or detergents into bottles that can be mistaken as a soft drink. • Regularly cleaning cupboards that hold chemicals. Disposing of any unwanted detergents and chemicals is necessary. Always clean out the empty containers with before disposal. When normal household routines are disrupted, the chances of your child being poisoned increase. This means that if you are on holiday, at a friend’s house or have recently moved, it is important to be super aware and take extra care to make sure your child is safe. It is possible that curious children will get into cupboards that are locked or into the high chemical cupboards, that is why it is important to teach them to stay away from them and to make them aware of the dangers as soon as they are old enough to understand. When medicating your children or other family members, there are some things that you need to do in order to reduce the chances of overdosing or accidental poisoning: • Always read the directions for use and dosage carefully when administering medication to your child. You should double check all the details before giving them the medicine. Contact a doctor or pharmacist if you are unsure of the dosage or period 60

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of time that it needs to be used for. • Avoid getting distracted while giving your child medicine. It is best to create a routine that accommodates taking medicine on a daily basis and always supervise your child when they are taking their medication to prevent accidents. • Create a system where you and the other adults in the home check with each other before giving medication to avoid doubling up on doses. • If medicine bottles do not have child-resistant caps on, ask your pharmacist to put one on. Always ensure that the lid is on properly after use. • The medicine cupboard should be cleaned out on a regular basis. All unwanted and outdated medication or poisons should be disposed of safely. The best option is to return it to your pharmacist who can dispose of it according to safety protocols. • All empty medicine containers should be rinsed out before you throw them away. When visitors are at the house, ensure their handbags or anything else they carry with them are not accessible to small children as there could be medication or other harmful substances in them. Keep planning ahead because as your child gets older, they develop new skills and it will increase the chances of accidental poisoning. Your vigilance will help prevent accidental poisoning in your home and when you are out. AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS Written By: Caroline Meyer



The current coronavirus, also known as COVID-19 can cause mild to severe symptoms. Initial symptoms present as cold or flu-like symptoms. The virus is spread through coming into contact with the virus from someone coughing, sneezing, breathing, touching or talking when they have the virus in their system. The virus can also live on surfaces for a period of time. If someone has touched the surface after touching their nose or mouth or the virus is present on their hands, the virus can be transferred to the surface. If they cough or sneeze, the virus can also be transferred to nearby surfaces. Touching the surface and then touching your face can transfer the virus to your system. Coronaviruses are not new, but COVID-19 is a new form of the virus. Coronaviruses in the past have been responsible for illnesses similar to the common cold as well as more severe illnesses such as SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome). Due to the COVID-19 virus being quite newly discovered, research is still in its infancy and more is being learned about it on a daily basis. At this point in time, the COVID-19 virus appears to be a lot more severe in the elderly, immune-compromised and those with underlying conditions and less severe in children. Symptoms of COVID-19 include fever, cold and flulike symptoms (coughing, sneezing, runny nose, painful muscles, aches, sore throat etc), fatigue, trouble breathing, loss of appetite as well as an altered sense of taste and smell or a loss of these senses. Symptoms can occur quite rapidly and in 64

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milder cases lasts for around 2 to 5 days. Some of the symptoms such as fatigue may linger for up to a month depending on the severity of the illness. Symptoms in children generally appear quite mild, with some infected children showing no symptoms whatsoever. Infections can take up to 14 days after infection before any symptoms are experienced. This long incubation period means that many people carry the virus for a period of time before symptoms occur and can infect others in this time period as well. If you or your child shows symptoms that you believe may be related to COVD-19, you should call one of the services available that can offer you advice. These helplines will ask you for information such as the symptoms being experienced, if you have travelled overseas or possibly come into contact with someone that may be carrying the disease. They will advise you on what to do. In most cases, this will most likely include self-quarantining the family at home and possibly being screened for the virus. You may be advised to go to a clinic or your GP or local hospital. You will be advised to the precautionary measures that need to be taken. Make sure you follow instructions to prevent further spread of the virus. If the symptoms escalate and become more severe you may need to call emergency services. Symptoms such as difficulty breathing needs immediate emergency treatment. You should also seek help AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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from your GP if your child runs a fever for 5 or more days. If there is swelling in the hands or feet, if the glands in the neck appear swollen, cracked lips, skin rashes, red eyes or changes in the tongue requires a GP consult as quickly as possible. If your child becomes unresponsive or the skin becomes blue or pale or they appear very drowsy seek emergency medical attention. Treatment will be symptomatic as there is currently no cure for the COVID-19 virus. For milder cases, treatment will include paracetamol, bed rest and lots of fluids, similar to the treatment of a cold. You will also need to restrict the child from contact with others outside the home to prevent spreading the virus. This usually means isolating the child at home without outside contact for up to 2 weeks or until there are no further symptoms. It is very important that your child not attend school or childcare during this time period. They should also be kept isolated from elderly people or those with immune systems that are weakened in any way. Isolating at home with minimal contact with outside persons while there are any symptoms of the virus is the best way to help reduce the spread and the risk of infecting someone that may succumb to COVID-19. Teach your children handwashing techniques to help prevent contracting and spreading the virus. Wet hands, rub soap onto hands then rub hands together for 20 seconds. Make sure the whole hand is washed including between fingers, both sides of the hands (not just the palms) and under the fingernails. You can use a soap crayon for the first few times to 66

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demonstrate washing the whole hand. Rinse all the soap off under running water. Use a paper towel to dry hands or just let them air dry. When soap and water is not readily available, show them how to use hand sanitiser instead. Make sure you always have some with you and use regularly when out and when water and soap is hard to come by. Hands should be washed before preparing of meals and eating food. They should also be taught to wash hands thoroughly after using the toilet. Hands should be washed or sanitised after coughing, sneezing or nose blowing. Make sure to use tissues as far as possible and dispose of them in a bin or toilet after use. Show them how to cough or sneeze into their elbow when not wearing a mask. Hands should also be thoroughly cleaned after being in public spaces especially public transport. Make sure you follow the same protocols and allow your child to learn from a good example. Carry a self-sealing back for times when no bin is available to store used tissues. Dispose of it was soon as possible. Try and discourage the habit of face-touching as much as possible. Wear face masks as directed by your local authorities. Make sure you spend time talking to your child about the current pandemic. Help them understand without fear or anxiety. Answer all their questions honestly in an age appropriate manner. Many of the habits learned during the pandemic are likely to reduce spread of some other viruses in future as people practise better hygiene and more awareness. AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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T O Y r e v i e w s

by: SHEREE HODDINETT


VTECH TUMMY TIME DISCOVERY PILLOW $39.95

4/5 G e t co m f y w h i le h a vin g fu n wit h t he Tummy Time Discovery Pillow. This sof t f r i e nd l y g ira f f e s h a p e d p illo w p r o vid es c o mf ortable support f or your baby with thr e e way s t o pla y. T h e c r e s cen t -s h ap ed p illo w provides support during tummy time p l ay as y our child b e g i n s st re ng t h e n i n g t h eir n ec k m u s c les; it also supports them when they’re l e ar ni ng t o sit o n th e i r ow n ; an d a s yo u r c h il d grows, you just pop the removable t oy s i n y our na ppy b a g f or o n -t h e-g o en t er t ainment. The pillow has multiple textur e s, p at t e r ns a nd c ol ou r s f or vis u a l a n d t ac t ile stimulation, plus removable baby- saf e m i r r or , ra t t le, a n d p i a n o . Lig h t -u p keys on the piano introduce numbers, colo ur s, shap e s, a nd a n i m a l s , a nd p lay s in g -alo n g nursery rhymes, music, and short tunes.

Our V e r d i ct – A lot of babies are n ’t t h e b iggest f a n s of t u mmy t ime, I r ememb er m y girls d e f i n i t e l y didn’ t lik e it and I k new a ll a b ou t it ! I t h in k somet imes a ll y o u n eed i s a n e asy wa y t o e n te rtain your little one or some kin d of in c en t iv e t o keep t h em g o i n g wh i l e t he y h a n g a r o u nd on their tummy a n d t h is p illow c ert a in ly h a s it s p erks. I t’ s s o f t a n d su ppo r t i v e . C o l ourful and bright. Plu s t h e a d d ed b on u s of t oy s f or en t ert a i n men t. L et’ s f ac e it , k i d s a r e all about the bright, c olou rf u l a n d n oisy t oy s! To ma ke it ev e n b etter , y o u c a n t a k e t h e s e b its off and us e the m elsewh ere (wh ile t h ey ’re in a h igh c h a ir, p r a m , i n th e c a r) or o n t h e g o while you’ re out an d a b ou t ! Wh a t rea lly gra b b ed my a t t enti o n wi th th e t um m y t i m e p i l l ow is its multi-us e. It serv es it s p u rp ose for t u mmy t ime, b u t o n c e y o u r b ub is s ta r t i n g to s it up, you can also u se t h e gira ffe p illow t o su p p ort t h em i n a s ea ted p o sit i o n a s th e y play, s o you’ ll ge t qu it e a n ext en d ed u se ou t of it . Th ere’s a l s o l o a d s o f d if f e re n t te x t u r e s to fe el and watch ou t for t h e sq u ea ky t a il! Ava i l abl e fro m: Ta rget a n d good toy stor es and online r etailer s. w w w . v t e ch . co m . a u 70

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VTECH PAW PATROL MIGHTY PUPS TOUCH & TEACH WORD BOOK $39.95

4/5 He lp th e M i g h t y P u p s s ave t h e d ay in the PAW Patrol Mighty Pups Touch & T e ac h W or d B o o k b y V T e c h ! A m et eo r c r a s h ed in Adventure Bay and now the Kitty C at ast r op he Cr e w h a s s u p e rp o w er s an d is u p to no good. Join Chase and Ryder on t he i r m i ssi on a s yo u r e a d a l on g t o t h e “ W h en Super Kitties Attack” story in this inter ac t i v e b ook . Te n t o u c h -s e n s it ive p ag es b r in g the story to lif e with music, sound ef f e c t s and t he vo ice s of R y d e r a n d Ch a s e. K id s c an engage with the story through three p l ay m od e s: S t o r yt i m e , E x p lo r a t io n an d Mu s ic .

Our v e r d i ct – B u ttons , s ounds , bright ligh t s a n d p u p p ies sa v in g t h e d a y , wh a t m o r e c o u l d yo u a s k f o r r e a l ly? ! Paw Patrol’ s biggest lit t le f a n s will lov e t h e op p ort u n it y to b e a p a r t o f t h e a d v e n tu r e in the inte ractive book. For t h ose lit t le on es st ill get t in g u se d to d i f f er en t wo rds , th i s i s a gre at le arning tool, esp ec ia lly list en in g t o a n d workin g ou t wh a t l etter s e ac h w o r d s t a r t with in Phonics or d isc ov erin g d ifferen t sou n d s ef f ec t s a n d awes o m e Pa w Pa t ro l t r i v i a i n W ords mode . The y also h a v e t h e op p ort u n it y t o list en t o t u n es a n d s o u n d e f f e c t s b y t o u ch ing the s tory s enten c es a n d p ic t u res in Mu sic mod e. If y ou w a n t to g et i n o n t h e a ct i o n , i t’ s a great te aching t ool t h a t ’s ea sy for y ou t o u se t h a t ’s p a c k ed wi th f u n and an e n t e r t a i ning s tory. A s w ith ev ery P a w P a t rol t a le, t h ere’s loa d s of exc i temen t a n d yo u r l i ttl e o n e w ill be drawn into the ma gic , flip p in g p a ges t o fin d ou t wh a t h a p p en s n ex t. B i g W a n d g o o d to y stores a n d o nline r etailer s. w w w . v t e ch . co m . a u 72

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LIFE SKILLS

WRITTEN BY LANCE GREEN


Your child is like a sponge, constantly soaking up information from the time they are born. As they get older, they start learning from television, school, books, friends and family. But you, as their parent, are the most important teacher. From the beginning you are there for encouragement and support and therefore the most significant person for them to learn from Teaching these five skills to your child will help make a positive impact on their life. Money skills: Teaching your child about money will help them develop a life skill that will come in handy in the future. Firstly, you can help them explore money, show them different coins and explain the value of money by talking about the price of different items and explaining how money is made. At the same time, you can teach them the importance of saving money and how we can’t always buy the things we want. Take advantage of trips to the supermarket where you can encourage your children to read and compare prices of products so that they can see how the price varies among similar products. If you give your child pocket money, use it as a way to educate them on saving a portion of it or help them choose something they want to buy and explain how they can save up for it. At a later stage you can give them pocket money for doing their chores or offer them extra money when they do more housework. Doing this will help them gain knowledge and responsibility about money and its worth.

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Cooking: Teaching them basic cooking skills from a young age will ensure that they grow up comfortable in a kitchen. Eventually they will learn basic recipes which they can use to cook themselves food or even for the family. Explain to them how to use a recipe in terms of reading the ingredients list and following the instructions. When you are cooking a meal, you can get your child to help you. Start off by letting them measure out ingredients. You can also let them mix the ingredients as well tearing and chopping if it is safe for them. It is also a good idea to let them cook with foods they don’t really like; this may encourage your child to taste them. Some easy meals to prepare together: pizzas, gingerbread biscuits, fairy cakes or even a simple fruit salad. IT skills: As the role technology plays on our daily life increases, so does the speed that children are learning IT skills. Take advantage of this by giving them educational games to play so that they can learn both IT skills and other things at the same time. When your child gets older, you may want to show them how to perform basic tasks on a computer. While showing them how to use the mouse, keyboard, internet, etc. it is also important to discuss online safety. Once they begin using the internet independently, you can consider using parental controls or keeping the computer in an area where you can supervise their searches.

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Management of conflict: Facing conflict is something that happens daily. The best way to teach your kids how to handle arguments is to be a good example. This means that you should practice negotiation, talking, explaining and listening rather that screaming and shouting. Whether it be with your children or other adults, you should use these methods so that they learn how to manage conflict correctly. Public speaking: At many schools, children are given the task to do show-and-tells or some sort of public speaking activities. You can assist in building your child’s confidence so that not only do they excel at school, but also learn an important life skill. Some important tips to help them learn to be comfortable with public speaking include: Encouraging them to do fun performances such as acting, dancing or singing a song. Let them dress up and put make up on so that the experience is enjoyable. This simply helps them grow accustomed to being in the spotlight. Expand their audience so that they can perform in front of friends and family too, even if it is just telling a story about school. Give them a chance to write or draw what is on their mind and give them props to use, this can help with their memory and planning skills. Teach them how to get their point across by looking up while talking and speaking slowly and clearly. Always put in time and effort in order to support your child when they have a speaking task for school, helping them practice is a great way to build their confidence. Giving your child the foundational life skills at an early age can go a long way to helping them develop and grow the skills as they get older. This can be important simply in learning to cope on their own or even towards their future life goals or career choice. 78

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Father’s Day

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Guide


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Suunto 7 $799 suunto.com

Mens Bred Scuffs $60 uggexpress.com.au

Little Acre Gourmet Mushrooms Grow Kit $35.95 biome.com.au

Cricut Maker $599 spotlightstores.com

Name of the Game Gift Set $47.95 evohair.com

Alcatel 3L $199 Vodafone.com.au

AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107


WAW Bodysurfing Handplane The BadFish $89.95 biome.com.au

Naim Mu-So Qb 2nd Generation Speaker $1,475 www.instylehifi.com.au

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Amber Room by Thameen $290 luckyscent.com

PRADA $476 sunglasshut.com`

Acer Spin 5 $2,162 online.acer.com.au

Essence Collection - Day $95 yora.com.au

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Parker 76R Butterfly Safety Razor - Black $46.95 biome.com.au

AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107


elkin BOOSTUP™ Wireless Charging Dock: Wireless Charging Pad + Apple Watch Dock $249.95 belkin.com/au

Still White Mens Underwear Trunks $19.95 funkytrunks.com AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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TOXIC GRANDPARENTS written by: Caroline Meyer


It can be lovely having grandparent involved in raising their grandchildren. They can also offer a lot of support to their own children when it comes to taking some of the work off their hands, even if it is only babysitting on occasion so you can have a date night. Many grandparents take on the role of carers during the day while parents go to work. This can strengthen a family bond and offer the child security as well as peace of mind for the parents to know their little ones are in good hands. Most grandparents love to get involved and bond with the grandkids. Single parents will also often need to rely on a parent to help out with raising their children so they can take care of other duties sometimes. This can be an amazing experience for parents, children and grandparents and can work very well in most cases. For most families, this is part of a happy, healthy upbringing. While this is true for most, it is not the case for everyone. Sometimes the relationship can be toxic and can lead to a breakdown of the family bond. This can be devastating but sometimes breaking away from parents that are not a good example for the grandkids can be a much healthier option emotionally and mentally. The toxic relationship can be due to actual abuse but could even be due to something such as the grandparents trying to undermine the parents when it comes to disciplining and raising the children. Here are some examples of toxic grandparents that may be more harmful than supportive. While many grandparents are loving and enjoy improving the lives of their kids and grandkids, this is also not true all the time. We would hope that grandparents can be non-judgemental and supportive of their children and grandchildren, but not everyone has wonderful grandparents. Some grandparents can be very difficult and can make things unpleasant for you and your offspring. 88

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One example is the grandparent that does not respect your decisions when it comes to raising your children. They will go against your rules and methods of discipline. They may go overboard in spoiling your children, which may seem harmless, but can cause chaos. It can undermine normal routines and even cause health issues especially if many sugary treats are given during the day. It can be a little annoying when your child has a sugar rush now and then or is overtired due to not sleeping during the day, but you could probably still see past this. Grandparents that wilfully do the opposite of what you have decided for your children, who try and enforce their version of parenting on your kids and even argue with you in front of the kids may be doing more harm than good. Some of this may come from cultural or religious beliefs that you may not agree with. If the grandparents are not prepared to raise your children according to your beliefs, you may want to remove them from spending long periods of time with the grandparents to avoid confusion and conflict. Another issue which is similar to the undermining grandparent is the controlling grandparent. This is when the grandparent assumes control of the parenting decisions and believes they have the rights to make decisions for the children without your input or despite your input. They see the parent as being their child and the grandchildren as being an extension of this relationship. The grandparents try to parent both you and your kids. This can be a very toxic relationship and may or may not be able to be repaired. Grandparents that are too controlling often will not be prepared to change and the best option is to have your children spend less time with them or remove them from the care of the grandparents for any length of time. It is okay for your parents to disagree with your parenting choices, but it is not okay for them to override you in front of your children. You are the parent and raising your children is your responsibility. AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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You have the final say in this. Sometimes these types of grandparents may also use financial support as a way to control you. They may offer financial support but threaten to withdraw it if you do not do things their way. This can even be more difficult if you are living with your parents due to financial difficulties. Get out of this situation as soon as possible. Another toxic habit of a few grandparents is when they prefer one grandchild over another. While it is understood that connections are made on a closer basis with someone than with others, when it comes to the grandchildren, it is not okay to play favourites. Grandparents may be closer with some of the grandchildren simply due to the amount of time they spend together and that is understandable. What is not acceptable is comparing one grandchild with another or running down a grandchild in a hurtful way or only praising and supporting some of the grandchildren while not offering the same support for the others. This can be damaging and hurtful to the children and have a long-term negative effect on their self-esteem. You may also come into contact with grandparents that can be overbearing and demanding. They may insist on spending time with the grandkids more often than is practical. They may make unplanned visits and disrupt the household routine. They may also get annoyed if you don’t follow their advice or make decisions that they have no involvement in. They may also insist on taking care of the kid when the parent is unable to even if the parent has made other arrangements or is not comfortable with leaving the kids with them for long periods. These types of grandparents do not respect boundaries and their demands can cause a lot of conflict and mental stress. Then there is the dissatisfied grandparent. They have extremely high expectations for their grandkids but do 90

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not show much support for the parents. They demand that the grandkids excel and have nothing but the best. This may sound great but it can place quite a strain on the parent to give the child everything their parent expects as well as for the grandkids to live up to unreasonably high expectations. You may be able to get these types of grandparents to back off and explain how you are raising your child. The grandparent that throws on the guilt. These grandparents will lay on guilt based on their own health, emotional or mental wellbeing. They use this guilt to try and control you as a parent as well as the grandchildren so they get their own way. This can be very stressful when you love the person who is playing the victim. They will make you out to be selfish when the truth is that they are displaying extremely self-centred behaviour. This can be harmful to you and your children’s mental health. When you are made to feel uncomfortable mentally, emotionally or physically by your parent or your children are suffering as a result of extended contact with their grandparents you might want to look at taking a step back and distancing yourself from their toxic behaviours. Everyone wants their parents to offer a positive impact if they are involved in their grandchildren’s lives. When grandparents have a negative impact or undermine how you want to raise your children, it can be painful to break ties with them until they can change their behaviours, but it may be necessary for your health and that of your kids. You can try and resolve the issues and conflicts but at the end of the day, you are the parent of your children and you decide how you want them raised. Walking away may be better than years of mental and emotional abuse.

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SMAL L MIN D S IN A B IG WO RL D WRITTEN BY: SHEREE HODDINETT



A look of wonder and amazement crosses her face as the bubbles float towards her. The magic lasts a split second before my energetic toddler starts yelling “pop, pop, pop.... more bubbles mummy” all while giggling hysterically. It’s a moment I’ve now etched into my memory bank, watching my beautiful little girl enjoying a carefree moment, a sight that is almost too rare these days. Never underestimate the power of bubbles. Especially when it comes to children.

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Mind you I do have a bit of fun myself. It’s easy to see how the little humans in our lives view everything in the simplest of ways. The bigger picture means nothing to them just yet. As I watch her run rampant after bubbles her focus changes quickly when she spots the moon (attention span of a goldfish!). Without hesitation she says “look it’s the moon mummy.... but we need a space rocket to get there”. Dumbfounded by my toddler’s moment of brilliance (and somehow remembering our previous chat about the moon) I could only manage a nod in reply. As always, she laughs at me before running off, apparently, I’m always “funny mummy”. We have days where everything is “too hard mummy” but this kid remembers me telling her about the best way to travel to the moon. It’s in this moment that I almost want to be a kid again. I don’t want to relive the fun of growing up again or the hell of being a teenager but just the carefree life of not having to worry about anything. To know that your clothes will be washed, your food presented (I feel like a waiter most days) or to know that each day involves playing and reading, who wouldn’t want that??! Honestly who has never had a day where they have thought “I don’t want to mum today. I’m thinking it might be a bit hard”. Geez I think I am starting to sound

like my toddler! But I do have days where I think it would be easier to pull the doona over my head and stay in bed. Although it would probably only take a split second for the kids to find me or even my husband for that matter. There’s no such thing as even a trip to the toilet in peace these days (thank you door locks!). Our kids really are like sponges, taking in every detail.... usually not always what you want them to mind you.... but they see the world in a different light. I can say the same thing ten times over, think “no, don’t touch that” or “please pick up the toys you just threw” but that doesn’t sink in. No, but the minute I go to treat myself and open a chocolate wrapper (okay so maybe more than one), and I have a best friend instantly asking, “can I have some too mummy?” with an added head tilt or even eyelash flutter. Honestly where did my innocent baby go?! Or more like how many of my bad habits has she witnessed without me realising?! It’s knowing that I’m responsible for two little people that sometimes I have to take a step back and realise what motherhood is about. It’s more than just sneaky wine and chocolate and driving mummy crazy. It’s just one chapter in a very huge book. It’s more than you’ll ever be fully prepared for and one job there is no manual for……ever! You can’t skip the bad, too hard crazy moments and just soak

up the good.... although wouldn’t that be amazing?! Kids really are creatures of habit too. We have the same little ritual every night at bedtime and don’t I get told if I miss a step! I’m always amazed at their capacity to learn but it’s funny how their willingness doesn’t always engulf them when it’s all too hard. But choose your battles, especially when it comes to the stubbornness of a toddler or so I’ve found! There have been quite a few moments lately where my trying toddler has pushed me to the brink of insanity and sent me almost bald from tearing my hair out thanks to her lovely attitude, but things could always be worse right?! I know one day too soon it’ll all change again, and it already makes me a little sad at the thought of my babies growing up (not really sure I ever want hormonal teenagers, but no doubt they will give me plenty to write about). Knowing that everything they learn is mostly because of me is a bit scary but I can only hope they take some good with the bad. And as hard as some days are (haha!), I think as parents it’s best to remember that you will always love your children, but you don’t always have to like them. Drop by my website shereeechlin.com for a few more tales of life as a “funny mummy”. AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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fashion AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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girls FASHION


UNDER $20 bigw.com.au

BABY Dymples Baby Striped Dress - Linen $15.00 Dymples Baby Mary Jane Shoes - White $15.00

UNDER $20 bigw.com.au

GIRLS K-D Girls Broderie Frill Pinafore Dusty Pink $15.00 K-D Girls Butterfly Sandals - Gold Tone $12.00

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UNDER $20 cottonon.com BABY Milly Short Sleeve Dress $19.99 Mini Amalfi Jelly Sandal $16.99

UNDER $35 cottonon.com GIRL Beattie Short Sleeve Dress $34.99 Luella Sandal $24.99

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SPLURGE melijoe.com/au

BABY Bonpoint Liberty Print Dress $270.00 Tartine Et Chocolat Sequined Leather Babies $89.00

SPLURGE melijoe.com/au

GIRLS Charabia Devoré Voile Dress $269.00 Pom D’api Leather Sandals Plagette Art $148.00

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boys FASHION


UNDER $20 bigw.com.au

BABY Dymples Baby Dungaree Set - Sage $18.00 Dymples Baby Casual Shoes - Tan $10.00

UNDER $20 bigw.com.au

BOY Brilliant Basics Boys Brooklyn Print Tee - White $2.50 Brilliant Basics Boys Chino Short Red $10.00 K-D Boys Eyelet Shoes - Black $6.00

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UNDER $20 cottonon.com BABY The Short Sleeve Romper $16.99 Mini Classic Trainer $19.99

UNDER $30 cottonon.com

BOYS Max Short Sleeve Tee $14.99 Bermuda Denim Short $29.99 Street Trainer $15.00

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BABY Mayoral Pack of 2 T-Shirts and Shorts $57.00 Tommy Hilfiger Newborn Baby Trainers $74.00

SPLURGE melijoe.com/au BOYS Molo Graphic Organic Cotton T-Shirt $72.00 Scotch & Soda Sportswear Bermudas $123.00 Golden Goose Suede Leather Trainers Superstar Old School $324.00

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branded pop over $320


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original t.shirt with tail $95


layering t.shirt $95


lo slung drill pant $320


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canvas cap $80


puffer jacket $795


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recipes sourced from: healthier.qld.gov.au AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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Delicious

Rainbow Fruit Wraps

prep time: 5 mins serves: 2

INSTRUCTIONS

INGREDIENTS wholegrain wraps 2 (20cm) 1 cup strawberries, sliced 1 cup oranges, sliced 1 cup kiwifruit, sliced 1 cup blueberries reduced-fat cream 2 tbsp cheese or ricotta cheese pinch of ground cinnamon

1

lay the wrap bread slices on a flat working surface. spread 1 tablespoon cream cheese on each wrap, leaving a 1cm border.

2

layer each colour of fruit in a row to make a “rainbow”.

3

roll up the wrap, cut in half and serve immediately.

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Quick & Easy

Sweet Potato & Cheese Muffins

prep and cooking time: 35 mins serves: 12

INSTRUCTIONS

INGREDIENTS 1 1/2 cup self-raising flour wholemeal self-raising 1 1/2 cup flour ½ cup grated sweet 1/2 cup potato, skin peeled 2 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese red capsicum, finely 1/2 diced spring onions, ends 3 trimmed, chopped (include green tops)

1

preheat oven to 200ºc (180ºc fan forced).

2

lightly spray muffin tins with oil or line with paper cases.

3

sift flours into a medium sized bowl, returning husk remaining in the sieve to the bowl.

4

mix in sweet potato, cheese, capsicum, spring onion and pepper.

5

in a bowl, whisk milk and eggs together.

6

add to dry ingredients and mix through until just combined. too much mixing will make the muffins tough.

7

spoon into prepared muffin pan.

8

bake for 25 minutes until muffins are firm and a knife inserted into the centre comes out clean.

9

1 cup low-fat milk 2 eggs freshly ground or cracked black pepper, to taste olive or canola oil spray

allow to cool in the tin for a few minutes then turn onto a wire rack. AUGUST 2020 | My Child Magazine Issue #107

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Creamy Cauliflower Soup prep & cook time: 35 mins serves: 6

INSTRUCTIONS 1

roughly chop cauliflower, including stalk into 1 cm pieces.

2

in a large pot add cauliflower, potato, onion, garlic and stock. cook on high heat until boiling then reduce heat to simmer, covered, for 20 minutes until potato and cauliflower stalk is tender.

3

remove from heat, add the milk and puree with stick blender or in small batches in food processor. add more milk if required and stir through to desired consistency.

4

ladle soup into bowls, season with freshly ground black pepper, sprinkle with chives and serve with a dinner roll.

INGREDIENTS head cauliflower, roughly 1 chopped including the stem potato, peeled and 3 med chopped 1 lrg onion, chopped 2 cloves garlic, chopped reduced-salt vegetable or 6 cups chicken stock* 2 cups reduced-fat milk freshly ground pepper fresh chives, finely 1 tbsp chopped wholemeal or multigrain 6 bread rolls

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Zucchini & Squash Carpaccio prep & cook time: 20 mins serves: 4

INSTRUCTIONS 1

place the sliced zucchini and squash in a bowl.

2

combine the oil, lemon juice, lemon zest, mustard and pepper in a small bowl. mix well to make the dressing.

3

toss the dressing gently through the zucchini and squash, ensuring it coats all the slices. leave to marinate for 10 minutes.

4

when ready to serve, spread the zucchini and squash slices and their dressing across a platter. scatter with almonds, mint and freshly ground pepper.

5

serve immediately.

INGREDIENTS green baby zucchini, sliced into thin 500g rounds (cutting on the diagonal) 500g yellow squash, sliced 3 tbsp olive oil lemons, zested and 2 juiced 1 tbsp wholegrain mustard freshly ground or cracked black pepper flaked almonds, 100g lightly toasted bunch fresh mint, 1 torn

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Very Veggie Fritters INSTRUCTIONS 1

place potato, carrot and zucchini in a colander, pressing to remove excess moisture.

2

add to a medium sized bowl, with corn, flour, parsley and egg yolks, stirring to combine.

3

place egg whites in a second bowl, beat until stiff peaks form, add to vegetable mixture.

4

heat a large non-stick frypan, brushed with olive oil, over medium heat, add 1/3 cup of mixture and cook for 5 minutes, cooking a few at a time. turn and cook for a further 5-8 minutes.

5

repeat until all of mixture is cooked.

6

serve with green salad.

7

drain and add Âź cup milk and mash with a potato masher until smooth. add more milk if required for desired consistency.

8

divide sweet potato mash and chicken between serving plates, sprinkle with basil.

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prep time: 15 mins cook time:15 mins serves: 4 INGREDIENTS 2 lrg potatoes, peeled and grated 1 med carrot, peeled and grated 2 med medium zucchinis, grated 125g can sweetcorn, drained 1 sml onion, chopped 1/2 cup self-raising flour 1/4 cup chopped parsley 3 eggs, separated 1 tbsp olive oil basil leaves, extra to serve


Easy Risotto INSTRUCTIONS 1

dice the onion and chop fresh vegetables, if using.

2

heat oil in a medium sized saucepan, add vegetables and gently stir for a few minutes.

3

add the rice and mix over a gentle heat for a few minutes or until the rice grains look white in colour.

4

add the stock and a few shakes of pepper. bring the rice to the boil, stirring once or twice.

5

cover with a lid and turn the heat down as low as possible.

6

allow to simmer very gently for 15 – 20 minutes. (rice should still have a slight nuttiness in the centre). do not remove the lid during the cooking time.

prep time: 10 mins cook time: 25 mins serves: 4 INGREDIENTS 1 sml onion, diced 1 tbsp olive oil 1 1/2 cup arborio rice 3 cups stock - beef, chicken or vegetable 2 cups vegetables (500 g selection of fresh seasonal vegetables eg; 1 2 cups carrot, diced, 1 cup broccoli, ½ cup sweet corn kernels) or 500g frozen mixed vegetables. 60g 60g grated parmesan cheese black pepper, season to taste freshly torn basil or chopped parsley leaves or dried herbs

toss gently with a fork, season to taste with pepper. top with parmesan cheese and sprinkle with freshly torn basil or chopped parsley leaves or dried herbs. serve immediately.

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Pear & Date Pouches with Orange Ricotta Cream prep time: 15 mins cook time: 25 mins serves: 4 INSTRUCTIONS 1

preheat oven to 200ºc (180°c fan forced) and line baking tray with paper.

2

place pears, dates, cinnamon, 1 teaspoon orange rind and 60ml orange juice into a large saucepan over a moderate heat. cook, stirring occasionally, for 10 minutes until pears have softened. alternatively, fruit can be cooked, covered, in a heat-proof microwave-safe dish on high (100%) for 12-15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

3

place a sheet of filo pastry flat on a clean surface. spray with oil then place another filo sheet on top of it and spray with oil, repeat with one more filo sheet. cut the stack in half to form 2 squares of layered filo sheets and set aside. repeat with the remaining 3 sheets of filo to create 4 squares of filo stacked 3 high.

4

put ¼ pear mixture into the centre of each filo square. bring up corners and gently pinch filo above fruit mix to shape into a pouch. lightly spray with oil.

5

place on a tray and bake for 12-15 minutes until crisp and golden.

INGREDIENTS pears, peeled, cored 4 lrg and thinly sliced 1/3 cup chopped 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon 2 tsp grated orange rind freshly squeezed 100ml orange juice filo pastry, at room 6 temperature olive or canola oil spray reduced-fat smooth 250g ricotta cheese 1 tsp honey

use a stick mixer or electric beaters to blend ricotta with honey, remaining orange juice and rind in a medium bowl until smooth. serve parcels immediately with ricotta cream mix on the side.

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Tutti Fruity Watermelons Popsicles prep time: 240 mins cook time: 0 mins serves: 4

INSTRUCTIONS 1

place all ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth

2

pour into 4 disposable plastic cups.

3

secure lids on moulds or insert popsicle sticks and freeze for 4-6 hours or overnight until solid.

4

stand at room temperature for a few minutes before removing from mould.

INGREDIENTS 200g watermelon flesh 200g natural yoghurt 8 mint leaves * You will need ice block moulds or plastic cups and popsicle sticks for this recipe

HINT - For stripes of colour half fill moulds with one fruit, freeze for 4 hours or overnight then fill with a different flavour or colour of fruit or fruit yoghurt before freezing.

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