Life Is Tough (But So Are You) Journal

Hello, dear reader

If you’ve picked up this journal because something really crappy is happening in your life right now, I’m so sorry.

Perhaps you’ve just lost someone and you can’t imagine life without them. Maybe you’re dealing with a bruising heartbreak or are suffering from the pain of a miscarriage. A health crisis might have just rudely entered your life or maybe you’ve lost your job. Perhaps you’re feeling burnt out, anxious or overwhelmed or feel like the universe is basically just being a jerk right now. Whatever is going on I want you to know that it’s not fair, you don’t deserve it and it’s totally shite that you have to go through this.

When I was diagnosed with cancer at 31 it was by far the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I thought cancer only happened to people in the movies, like the hot Irish guy from P.S. I Love You. Then bang, suddenly I was the lead character in a film I didn’t want to be in and it didn’t even come with the cheesy love story – rude!

I’m super grateful to have gotten through to the other side, and when I did I ended up putting all the lessons and tools I’d learned along the way into a book called Life Is Tough (But So Are You). It’s the book I wish I’d had at the start of my curveball and shares all the most helpful gems and ideas that got me through that challenging time. Since the book went out into the world I have been so touched by the messages I’ve received from so many beautiful readers who have found these ideas to be helpful in the most difficult days of their lives. Receiving these messages has without a doubt been the greatest privilege of my life so far.

With this journal, I wanted to take it one step further. To create a safe place for you to work through the ideas on your mind, process what the hell is going on and give you clarity on what you want and need to get through this. You can use it to accompany my book (especially those lovely readers who said they didn’t want to scribble on their copy because it was too pretty. Love you guys)

or on its own. You have my full permission to do whatever you like to this journal – this is a fully-fledged scribble zone up ahead so please knock yourself out.

See, journalling was my saviour through chemo and treatment. It was the tool that calmed the farm and helped me steady the ship through the rough waters. It became a daily ritual and something I became quite addicted to. I didn’t realise it at the time, but journalling can be particularly helpful during challenging times. Research shows that not only does it give a big boost to your memory and your ability to be mindful, but it also strengthens the immune system, improves sleep, boosts confidence, makes you smarter and it may even help wounds heal faster!

How, you might ask? Well in a nutshell, writing is an organisational process. It helps you make sense of trauma and process events. This improves your working memory and frees up your beautiful brain to get on with the million other tasks it has to deal with.

Whatever you are going through, this journal is here to hold your hand and guide you through each step of this next chapter. Then when you’re ready, it will help you think about the next chapter of your beautiful life.

Even if you don’t believe it at this moment, I want you to remember – right here, right now – that you can do this. You’ve got the strength, you’ve got what it takes and this journal is going to be here to step you through for the next little bit. I hope it can be a friend and a comfort, and will remind you that no matter how challenging this chapter of your life is, if you take it page by page, you can and will get through this seriously rubbish time.

I’m sending you all my love (I hope you can feel it exuding from these pages). And always remember that, yes, sometimes life may be tough . . . but so are you.

Love Briony B xx (Your cheerleader)

Some crap things you might be experiencing right now

(SHITTIEST LIST IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD)

How to use this journal

It’s your journal, do whatever you darn well please with it. Scribble, scrawl, glue things in, pull pages out that are helpful and stick them on your wall, whatever helps you get through this patch. Below are a few suggestions of how to get the most out of it.

Do it daily

You’ll find guided sections you can work through in your own time, with activities and prompts. After each section there are also blank pages to journal on daily. I cannot encourage you enough to try to journal every day (even when you don’t feel like it), ideally first thing in the morning. This will help clear your thoughts by getting them down on paper, and help you process and make sense of what is going on in this weird old time.

Do it your way

There is no right or wrong way to journal, and there is nothing that is out of bounds. The point is just to get whatever thoughts are in your head out onto paper. Remember, these are just thoughts; they don’t define you or reflect back on who you are. They are just temporary passing thoughts.

If you don’t know where to start, just write the very first thought that springs into your mind. You can have a big old whinge, share your fears or just use it as time to write down a to-do list and brain dump everything out of your mind. You can write, scribble, make lists, draw pictures in amongst your words – whatever flows and whatever feels good. (If you want to use coloured pens, highlighters or paints, do it!)

If you find yourself stuck in a loop . . .

If you find yourself stuck in a negative loop, writing about the same thing over and over, day after day for weeks on end, this can sometimes start to exacerbate the problem. It might be worth trying to force yourself to write about something else for a time, or take a small break from journalling. It’s a fine line and only you can know if you’re starting to cross it. Just something to keep an eye out for.

Try the priority and gratitude prompts

At the top of every pair of blank pages is a place to write the three things you’re focusing on right now. They can be big or little things. This is designed to stop overwhelm and instead focus you in on what is manageable. There is also space to write down anything that has gone well, or which you’re feeling grateful for that day. This doesn’t have to be a mind-blowing achievement, it could be as simple as getting some fresh air or something kind someone did for you, or that you had a nice cup of tea.

TOP 3 THINGS I’M FOCUSING ON RIGHT NOW: 1 2 3

ORDER GROCERIES EMAIL LAWYER MOVE MY BODY TODAY

THINGS THAT ARE GOING WELL OR THAT I’M GRATEFUL FOR:

WENT FOR A SMALL WALK

SAW SOME BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS IN THE GARDEN MY SISTER CHECKED IN ON ME

CONTENTS

SECTION 1

THIS WASN’T ON MY VISION BOARD. WHERE DO I BEGIN?

The beginning of any crisis can be a bit of a blur. Here are a few activities, mindset tools and prompts to help you navigate the start of this tricky time.

SECTION 2

PLOT TWIST: NOW WHAT?

Let’s get clear on what you want and need right now, including a kick-arse support team.

3

WELCOME TO THE SHIT SHOW, YOU’VE GOT FRONT-ROW SEATS!

It’s showtime. Here are some things to help when you’re right in the thick of it and not 100 per cent yourself.

90

SECTION 5

THE NEXT AWESOME CHAPTER OF YOUR LIFE

Right now this time may feel all-consuming, but it’s just one chapter in your beautiful life. And there is another one around the corner.

164

SECTION 4

THERE’S LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

When you go through a tough time, healing takes time and that’s fine. Here are a few things to consider as you catch your breath.

also find blank pages forjournalling at the end of each section.)

The beginning of any crisis can be a bit of a blur. Here are a few activities, mindset tools and prompts to help you navigate the start of this tricky time.

Day by day, breath by breath, step by step

At the moment everything might feel foggy and overwhelming and a bit too hard. That is okay and completely normal. Know that you don’t have to do all the things immediately. Instead, we’re just going to focus on the next few steps.

Get your pen and brain dump everything that is on your mind, from the big enormous overwhelming things to the fact that you need to buy dry shampoo and hair ties this week. Then choose the three most urgent or important and list them below. Just focus on those. Everything else is going to wait its turn.

TOP 3 THINGS I’M FOCUSING ON RIGHT NOW:

YOU DON’T HAVE TOSOLVERIGHTEVERYTHING NOW .

You might have forgotten how awesome you are

When you’ve been through the wringer it’s easy to lose sight of the things you’re really good at, your value and what you bring to the world. (Reminder: you’re bloody awesome, even if you have forgotten that right now.) Therefore I’m going to set you a challenge of writing down all the things you are good at. No matter how teeny or big, jot them down. These might be professional or practical skills in your job or the fact that you’re a really good parent to your fur baby. You might surprise yourself.

I’m good at listening.

I’m good at making coffee.

I’m good at Excel.

I’m good at being a thoughtful and caring friend.

I’m good at making my bed each day.

I’m good at singing.

I’m good at managing people.

I’m good at accents.

Here are a few thought starters.

THINGS THAT ARE GOING WELL OR THAT I’M GRATEFUL FOR: