Modern Toss Trade Catalogue 2019

Page 1

Modern Toss

Catalogue 2019

I’m worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects

Don’t panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn’t want it


BRITAIN’S PREMIER CULT CARTOONISTS SINCE 2004! generation arsehole

I normally home tutor for maths GCSE

interview

work

what’s all these photos of you naked? I see you took yesterday off for a ‘bullshittersrefresher course’

we just want you to train him not to piss all round the toilet seat

MT135 Generation Arsehole Maths GCSE

just letting you know what I’ve got if you need to do a company calendar yeah here’s my expenses

MT134 Interview Company Calendar

MT133 Work Bullshitters Refresher Course

work what makes you think your account has been hacked?

‘cos there’s some money in it?

MT132 Hacked Bank Account

Non-sweary

Top seller

Do you do a ‘Sign Up, Don’t Turn Up’ package?

I can’t come back to work this week, I’ve had to book myself back into the retox clinic

MT131 Work Retox Clinic

MT130 Sign Up Don’t Turn Up

Modern Toss greetings cards are printed on FSC board from responsible sources and all cello packaging is recyclable Greetings cards are 128 x 180mm printed card with colour envelope


ABOUT US Modern Toss are wellestablished cult cartoonists whose work is published regularly in the Guardian and Private Eye . Well known mavericks of the greetings card world, they also

produce their own highly collectible range of books, comics and gifts. Their massively popular and relatable cartoons depict hilarious scenes from the workplace and popular culture that expose the humour in everyday life. Modern Toss have a hugely loyal and active social media

customer services

following with over 250k engaged global fans who are eager to share Modern Toss’s unique brand of misanthropic humour and anarchic wit. The bold primary colours and smart satirical scrawlings of Modern Toss designs will stand out on any greetings cards shelf!

team player

hi sorry I’m late, I couldn’t be fucked to get here any quicker this drink I bought off you, made me piss myself

excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?

MT129 Monday Morning Wine

health & technology

how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?

yeah, I’ve found I’m getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog

MT126 Health Monitor

Non-sweary

MT128 Customer Services Piss Myself

work

work

last orders

I’m worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects very impressive reference

cheers, I wrote that

MT125 Work Impressive Reference

Top seller

MT127 Work Team Player

Don’t panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn’t want it

MT124 Work Robot

Modern Toss greetings cards are printed on FSC board from responsible sources and all cello packaging is recyclable Greetings cards are 128 x 180mm printed card with colour envelope


GREETINGS CARDS Punctuation Networking Event

Punctuation Networking Event

Punctuation Networking Event And what do you do?

People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can’t be fucked anymore.

Luck of the draw mate, I was long term unemployed until some bloke invented email.

PUNC01 Can’t Be Fucked

Punctuation Networking Event

Traditionally, I indicate an elaboration of something that went just before me, but since texting came along I've been doing a lot of work with the old end bracket here.

Punctuation Networking Event How’s the old apostrophe business?

Yeah we’ve been run off our feet lately, people can’t leave us alone.

PUNC02 What do you do?

Punctuation Networking Event

Yeah, bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural.

PUNC03 Apostrophe Business

Punctuation Networking Event

Not often we get the chance to chat without a load of speech getting in the way.

I love your hat.

Actually I’d better be off, got a last minute job indicating an omitted character in a word somewhere.

PUNC04 Speech Marks

Non-sweary

Thanks, I picked it up in Paris.

PUNC05 Paris Hat

Top seller

Better be careful where we stand, I don’t want any legal problems.

PUNC06 Legal Problems

Modern Toss greetings cards are printed on FSC board from responsible sources and all cello packaging is recyclable Greetings cards are 128 x 180mm printed card with colour envelope


GREETINGS CARDS Work

work

work

work

work

give us a hand putting this motivational poster up

right Steve, come on what are you bringing to the table?

these end of year figures are amazing

in an ideal world I’d tell you to stick this job up your arse

yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them ‘til they were bigger than last year’s sorry mate I’m due an electronic fag break

MT118 “these end of year figures are amazing” “yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them ‘til they were bigger than last year’s”

MT117 “give us a hand putting this motivational poster up” “sorry mate I’m due an electronic fag break”

I brought the biscuits?

MT112 “right Steve, come on what are you bringing to the table?” “I brought the biscuits?”

interview

work

MT110 “In an ideal world I’d tell you to stick this job up your arse”

work

I see from your CV that you’re bilingual

we don’t have a dress code as such, but I would appreciate it if you could tone it down a bit

we’ve decided we’d like you to work from home, preferably for someone else

We don’t currently have a pension scheme, but you’re welcome to join in the office 7 horse accumulator

I don’t want to rush you but the first race is at 2.45

yeah English and Emoji

22/03/2017 11:28

MT102 “we don’t have a dress code as such, but I would appreciate it if you could tone it down a bit”

work

MT101 “We don’t currently have a pension scheme, but you’re welcome to join in the office 7 horse accumulator” “I don’t wanna rush you but the first race is at 2.45”

data analyst

MT100 “I see from your CV that you’re bilingual” “yeah, English and Emoji”

work

MT90 “we’ve decided we’d like you to work from home, preferably for someone else.”

key strategy meeting

so there you have it, any questions? can you come in at the weekend?

this spreadsheet of yours doesn’t appear to make any sense first item, Peter would like to apologise for his absence, says he couldn’t be fucked

yeah it’s bollocks innit

I’ll come in but I’m not fucking doing anything

run through that again will you, I had my headphones on

MT89 “so there you have it, any questions?” “run through that again will you, I had my headphones on.”

Non-sweary

Top seller

MT88 “this spreadsheet of yours doesn’t appear to make any sense” “yeah it’s bollocks innit.”

MT87 “Can you come in at the weekend?” “I’ll come in but I’m not fucking doing anything.”

MT86 “First item, Peter would like to apologise for his absence, says he couldn’t be fucked.”

Modern Toss greetings cards are printed on FSC board from responsible sources and all cello packaging is recyclable Greetings cards are 128 x 180mm printed card with colour envelope


GREETINGS CARDS Work

work

work

great to get all this feedback off our new customer forum

Here’s an idea, why don’t we just do stuff that’s going to be really massively successful?

if I shit meself can I go home?

yeah I had no idea we were such a shit company

MT83 “If I shit meself can I go home?”

MT75 “Great to get all this feedback off our new customer forum.” “Yeah I had no idea we were such a shit company.”

work

MT70 “Here’s an idea, why don’t we just do stuff that’s going to be really massively successful?”

MT69 “Congratulations you’ve got the job!” “I dunno if I can work here, I’m only getting one bar on me phone.”

health and I see here you went to Cambridge

I see from your afternoon tweet, that you’re “bored as fucking arseholes”

What illnesses would you recommend for getting 6 months or longer off work?

yeah I had to drop something off for someone, I was back by half six

yeah cheers, I didn’t know you were following me

MT66 “I’m thinking of taking early retirement.” “How early?” “About 2.30.”

MT65 “I see from your afternoon tweet, that you’re ‘bored as fucking arseholes’” “Yeah cheers, I didn’t know you were following me.”

work

work

Whoa hang on, so the deal as you see it is - I have to come in almost everyday at a specific time?

I see you’ve applied for time off during our busiest week

MT64 “What illnesses would you recommend for getting 6 months or longer off work?”

work

MT60 “And I see here you went to Cambridge.” “Yeah I had to drop something off for someone, I was back by half six.”

work what are you like at multi-tasking?

pretty good, I often read the paper while I’m having a shit

so if I keep not coming in, you’re going to start not paying me? yeah, hopefully you’ll have everything done by the time I get back

MT58 “Whoa hang on, so the deal as you see it is – I have to come in almost everyday at a specific time?”

Non-sweary

Top seller

MT57 “I see you’ve applied for time off during our busiest week.” “Yeah, hopefully you’ll have everything done by the time I get back.”

MT51 “So if I keep not coming in, you’re going to start not paying me?”

MT47 “What are you like at multitasking?” “Pretty good, I often read the paper while I’m having a shit.”

Modern Toss greetings cards are printed on FSC board from responsible sources and all cello packaging is recyclable Greetings cards are 128 x 180mm printed card with colour envelope


GREETINGS CARDS Work

interview

interview

appraisal

ideas meeting don’t think about it, just say it

yeah carry on talking mate, I just gotta bang out a couple of texts

ahh now I see from your CV you’ve got tap dancing down as a hobby

yeah that’s actually lap dancing, I can’t type for shit

we would like to point out to you that it’s highly unprofessional to refer to us as ‘the cunts upstairs’ when sending emails to our client database

fuck you

fair enough, rules are rules

MT46 “Yeah, carry on talking mate, I’ve just got to bang out a couple of texts.”

executive burnout

MT45 “Ahh now I see from your CV you’ve got tap dancing down as a hobby.” “Yeah that’s actually lap dancing, I can’t type for shit.”

water cooler moment

MT44 “We would like to point out to you that it’s highly unprofessional to refer to us as ‘the cunts upstairs’ when sending out emails to our client database.” “Fair enough, rules are rules.”

seasonal cutbacks

work

MT43 “Don’t think about it, just say it.” “Fuck you.”

work

several clients have complained about receiving emails from a ‘mistershits@pisscompany.com’ we thought we’d try something a bit different this year h ow are you g etting onwith you r new line manag er?

you can ’t brin g a dog in to work

g ood weekend?

yeah I’m still off my fu cking tits

h e’s a fu cking cu nt

er hello? he’s n ot actu ally workin g

yeah keep it quiet it’s a phone mast, should pay for this year’s holiday

is that a seagull?

yeah that’ll be me working from home after a few drinks

MT35 “Several clients have complained about receiving emails from a ‘mistershits@pisscompany. com’” “Yeah that’ll be me working from home after a few drinks.”

seasonal cutbacks

work

we thought we’d try something a bit different this year

MT31 “Good weekend?” “Yeah, I’m still off my fucking tits.”

MT29“You can’t bring a dog into work” “er hello? he’s not actually working”

MT18 “How are you getting on with your new line manager?” “He’s a fucking cunt.”

work I ca n’t come in toda y, so fuck off

I think I’ll go home, I’m a bit bored

yeah keep it quiet it’s a phone mast, should pay for this year’s holiday

is that a seagull?

MT04 “I think I’ll go home. I’m a bit bored.”

Non-sweary

MT02 “I’m can’t come in today, so fuck off.”

Top seller

Modern Toss greetings cards are printed on FSC board from responsible sources and all cello packaging is recyclable Greetings cards are 128 x 180mm printed card with colour envelope


GREETINGS CARDS Classics honest relationship

last orders

pro gamer

money saving expert

As you can see they’ve retained a few original features, like Pete who used to drink here when it was a pub does my stomach look big in this?

yeah

I only use it to save a few quid buying my groceries back in the 70’s

Where’s the crisps?

MT123 “does my stomach look big in this?” “yeah”

MT122 “As you can see they’ve retained a few original features, like Pete who used to drink here when it was a pub” “Where’s the crisps?”

I went outside earlier in the week, it’s like you literally have no control over anything?

MT121 “I went outside earlier in the week, it’s like you literally have no control over anything?”

chill out yeah

awkward cunt

do you want any cakes or pastries with that?

MT120 “I only use it to save a few quid buying my groceries back in the 70’s”

hello my name’s Peter and I’m a fucking arsehole how much is your meditation course?

it’s definitely Peter, I recognise the handwriting

80 quid

well that’s fucking wound me right up for a start

if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them

MT119 “do you want any cakes or pastries with that?” “if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them”

THE INVISIBLE ARSEHOLE

MT116 “hello my name’s Peter and I’m a fucking arsehole”

awkward cunt

MT115 “it’s definitely Peter, I recognise the handwriting”

MT113 “how much is your meditation course?” “80 quid” “well that’s fucking wound me right up for a start”

high st

can I help you sir?

when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?

I don’t fucking know, you tell me

excuse me, is there anywhere round here I can’t get a coffee?

MT111 “your glass of red wine sir” “I’m over here you cunt”

Non-sweary

Top seller

MT108 “can I help you sir?” “I don’t fucking know, you tell me”

MT103 “excuse me, is there anywhere round here I can’t get a coffee?”

MT99 “when the kids moved out we turned the spare room into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?”

Modern Toss greetings cards are printed on FSC board from responsible sources and all cello packaging is recyclable Greetings cards are 128 x 180mm printed card with colour envelope


GREETINGS CARDS Classics / Weekend / Cheese & Wine

motoring

fucking typical

I want a bank loan I’m going to have to take a few details down

leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side

I’m arresting you for speeding Speech bubble text 10pt

sorry mate me eyesight’s fucked, I thought that sign said ‘drive like a cunt’

tell you what mate fucking swivel on it, no wonder the country’s fucked

MT96 “I want a bank loan” “I’m going to have to take a few details down.” “tell you what mate fucking swivel on it, no wonder the country’s fucked.”

MT93 “leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side.”

MT91 “I’m arresting you for speeding” “sorry mate me eyesight’s fucked, I thought that sign said ‘drive like a cunt’.”

weekend test pot

customer services

weekend

MT85 Before / After Internet.

weekend

look Grandad’s bought you a book

this book I bought off you, is fucking shit

let’s go to Ikea fuck Ikea

I fucking hate that colour

MT74 “This book I bought off you, is fucking shit.”

MT77 “I fucking hate that colour.”

cheese&wine

cheese&wine

how d’you turn it on?

MT72 “Look Grandad’s bought you a book.” “How d’you turn it on?”

cheese&wine

MT12 “Let’s go to Ikea.” “Fuck Ikea.”

Contact us us Contact tel: 689 599 tel:(01273) 01702 716643 sales@moderntoss.com info@brainboxcandy.com brainboxcandytrade.com www.moderntoss.com

have you tried this real ale from Stephen’s micro brewery?

bloody hell Gerry he was only trying to give you a hug What are you up to at the moment?

Minding my own fucking business

I thought he was coming at me so I decked him

smells like someone scooped it out of a fucking ditch

01/03/2016 10:24

MT107 “bloody hell Gerry he was only trying to give you a hug” “I thought he was coming at me so I decked him”

Non-sweary

Top seller

MT92 “have you tried this real ale from Stephen’s micro brewery?” “smells like someone scooped it out of a fucking ditch.”

MT56 “What are you up to at the moment?” “Minding my own fucking business”

Modern Toss greetings cards are printed on FSC board from responsible sources and all cello packaging is recyclable Greetings cards are 128 x 180mm printed card with colour envelope


GREETINGS CARDS Occasions / Bodywork new arrival

milestone birthday

get well soon

happy birthday

didn’t I give this to you for Christmas? yeah I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but if you like I can bang your symptoms out on twitter and see what we get back

do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?

heelloooo

isn’t it beautiful

yeah I didn’t like it, happy birthday

no I fucking don’t

where’s my fucking presents?

MT114 “do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?” “no I fucking don’t”

weddings

MT105 “heelloooo” “isn’t it beautiful” “where’s my fucking presents?”

happy birthday

MT98 “yeah I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but if you like I can bang your symptoms out on twitter and see what we get back.”

work

Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?

I see you’ve applied for a day off on your birthday Do you take this man... How about if I just keep the 20 quid?

MT95 “didn’t I give this to you for Christmas?” “yeah I didnt like it, happy birthday.”

Contact us tel: (01273) 689 599 tel: 01702 716643 sales@moderntoss.com info@brainboxcandy.com www.moderntoss.com brainboxcandytrade.com

Hang on mate, I’m just updating me relationship status

yeah imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday That works for me, happy birthday yeah!

MT76 “Do you take this man...” “Hang on mate, I’m just updating me relationship status.”

MT73 “Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?” “How about if I just keep the 20 quid?” “That works for me, happy birthday yeah!”

MT71 “This “I seebook you’ve applied off for you, a day I bought off on your birthday.” “Yeah imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday.”

I want to book myself in for some ‘me time’

I’ve lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym

I’ve got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I’m really interested

we only do ‘you time’ is that gonna be ok?

I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?

MT109 “I’ve lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym”

Non-sweary

Top seller

MT97 “I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?”

MT80 “I’ve got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I’m really interested?”

MT81 “I want to book myself in for some ‘me time’.” “We only do ‘you time’ is that gonna be ok?”

Modern Toss greetings cards are printed on FSC board from responsible sources and all cello packaging is recyclable Greetings cards are 128 x 180mm printed card with colour envelope


GREETINGS CARDS Coloured-In Cards THE WEEKEND

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

The opening of the fridge door alerts the dog to the presence of cheese.

MTC14 Weekend Dog Cheese

MTC13 Segway Bat

MTC12 Cup Cake Mallet

THE WEEKEND

THE WEEKEND

I’m too fucked to get the TV controls,

I am on a recommended National Trust

so I’m just going to have to sit through

public walk. I see someone has hung

this Sunday night costume drama.

a bag of dog shit from a tree.

MTC10 Weekend TV Controls

THE WEEKEND

One of our parents is trying to call us on the landline

MTC09 Weekend National Trust Walk

MTC08 Weekend Parents on Landline

THE WORKING DAY

THE WORKING DAY

THE WORKING DAY

As I get nearer to my place of work I totally clear my mind

I follow the train operator on Twitter and am able to directly call them arseholes

I look permanently busy if I walk around

until there’s fuck all in it

when my service is disrupted

MTC06 Working Day Clear My Mind

Non-sweary

Top seller

MTC05 Working Day Train Twitter

holding a pen and a bit of paper

MTC04 Working Day Walking Around

MTC11 Jetty Zen Kick

THE WEEKEND

It is still slightly too early for a drink

MTC07 Weekend Too Early

THE WORKING DAY

Morning catch up meeting. I’ll listen in for a bit – once I know what they’re talking about I’ll try and say something.

MTC03 Working Day Meeting

Modern Toss greetings cards are printed on FSC board from responsible sources and all cello packaging is recyclable Greetings cards are 128 x 180mm printed card with colour envelope


GREETINGS CARDS Coloured-In Cards / Stroller THE WORKING DAY

THE WORKING DAY

It’ Yo r S e a Da

Happy Birthday Go For It Yeah

Do

Before lunch I leave my jacket on my chair, so if I decide not to come back people think I’m still around somewhere.

MTC02 Working Day Jacket

th It Yeah

When I get in from work, I like

STR16 It’s Your Special Day

STR15 Happy Birthday Go For It Yeah

Visualize Your Goal

On Your Special Day

STR13 Beer in Bed

STR14 Stroller Moody Cunt

a t

to have a drink and a lie down.

MTC01 Working Day Lie Down

Happy Birthday

hat Yo F

STR11 You Play To Win

STR05 Visualise Your Goal

For A Special Lady

Contact us Contact us tel: 689 599 tel:(01273) 01702 716643 sales@moderntoss.com info@brainboxcandy.com www.moderntoss.com brainboxcandytrade.com

STR04 On Your Special Day

Non-sweary

STR02 Sorry You’re Leaving

Top seller

STR01 Special Lady

Modern Toss greetings cards are printed on FSC board from responsible sources and all cello packaging is recyclable Greetings cards are 128 x 180mm printed card with colour envelope


BOOKS

TOSSARY – Tossary of Terms The first in an illustrated dictionary series. This book identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.

TOSS10 Modern Toss Comic 10

DECADE - A Decade in the Shithouse 560 pages of classic cartoons, rarities, one-off exhibitions, unpublished artwork, interviews and out-of-print cartoons.

BESTWORK – Best of Work Eighty pages of the very best from the Modern Toss Work cartoon collection.


BOOKS

XMTBOOK - CHRISTMAS MOOD COLLECTION Eighty pages of top grade seasonal cartoon excellence!

TOSS08 Modern Toss Comic 8 Route One Bollocks

TOSS07 Modern Toss Comic 7

TOSS06 Modern Toss Comic 6 Work C’est La Merde

TOSS05 Modern Toss Comic 5 Buy More Shit or We’re All Fucked


SHIT-NAKS Stationery

MTCOL01 - The Working Day Colouring Book

MTCOL02 - Mindless Violence Colouring Book

MTCOL03 - The Weekend Colouring Book

MTCOL04 - Mindlessness Colouring Book

PENCIL01 12 double ender rainbow shit scribbler pencils

WORK NOTEBOOKS Ideas book (pack of 3) Size 150mm x 215mm

2019 Calendar

When the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?

2019 Calendar

Do you do a ‘Sign Up, Don’t Turn Up’ package?

MTCALDESK Work Desktop Calendar 2019

TNCALENDAR TeNeues Calendar 2019 Size: 300x300mm

TNMINICAL TeNeues Mini Calendar 2019 Size: 175x175mm


SHIT-NAKS Bags / Socks / Mugs

MTBMSBAG Buy More Shit 10th Anniversary Bag

MUG09 Working at the Weekend Mug MUG08 Ideas Meeting Mug MUG07 Work Fuck Off Mug

SOCK02 Work Socks

MUG10 Can’t Be Fucked Mug MUG11 Apostrophe Business Mug


P AP RA WR IT W H E ES TIV TIV FES FES P P P P RA RA RA RA IT W IT W IT W IT W H H H H ES ES ES ES TIV TIV TIV TIV FES FES FES FES AP AP AP AP AP AP WR WR WR WR WR WR T T T T T T I I I I I I H H H H H H ES ES ES ES ES ES TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV FES FES FES FES FES FES AP AP AP AP AP AP WR WR WR WR WR WR T I H HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT S S S S S S E E E E E E TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV FES FES FES FES FES FES AP AP AP AP AP AP WR WR WR WR WR WR HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT S S S S S S E E E E E E TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV FES FES FES FES FES FES P P P P P P RA RA RA RA RA RA IT W IT W IT W IT W IT W IT W H H H H H H ES ES ES ES ES ES TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV FES FES FES FES FES FES P P P P P P RA RA RA RA RA RA IT W IT W IT W IT W IT W IT W H H H H H H ES ES ES ES ES ES TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV FES FES FES FES FES FES P P P P P P RA RA RA RA RA RA IT W IT W IT W IT W IT W IT W H H H H H H ES ES ES ES ES ES TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV FES FES FES FES FES FES AP AP AP AP AP AP WR WR WR WR WR WR T T T T T T I I I I I I H H H H H H ES ES ES ES ES ES TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV S S S E E E FES FES FES F F F P P P P AP AP RA RA RA RA W W W WR W WR HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT S S S S S S E E E E E E TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV TIV FES FES FES FES FES FES P P P P RA RA RA RA

SHIT-NAKS

IT SH

Wrapping Paper / Coasters

WRAP01 Work Wrapping Paper

WRAP03 Festive Shit Wrapping Paper

COASTER02 “I can’t come in today so fuck off.”

COASTER03 “Good weekend?” “Yeah, I’m still off my fucking tits.”

COASTER04 “let’s go to Ikea” “fuck Ikea”

COASTER08 “Here’s an idea, why don’t we just do stuff that’s going to be massively successful?”

COASTER11 “How are you getting on with your new line manager? “He’s a fucking cunt.”

COASTER12 COASTER13 “You can’t bring a dog into work.” “I see from your afternoon tweet that “Er hello? He’s not actually working.” you’re ‘bored as fucking arseholes.

COASTER14 “I fucking hate that colour”

COASTER15 “we’ve decided we’d like you to work from home, preferably for someone else”

COASTER16 “this spreadsheet of yours doesn’t appear to make any sense” “yeah it’s bollocks innit”

All coasters are 100mm x 100mm

COASTER07 “Don’t think about it, just say it.” “Fuck you.”

COASTER17 “right Steve, come on what are you bringing to the table?” “I brought the biscuits?”


SHITNAKS Magnets / Wallets / Postcards

MAG09 “Here’s an idea, why don’t we just do stuff that’s going to be massively successful?”

TRAVEL09 “I can’t come in today so fuck off”

MAG08 “Don’t think about it, just say it.” “Fuck you.”

TRAVEL07 “Here’s an idea, why don’t we just do stuff that’s going to be massively successful?”

MAG07 “Good weekend?” Yeah, I’m still off my fucking tits.”

TRAVEL06 “Good weekend?” “Yeah, I’m still off my fucking tits.”

MAG06 “I can’t come in today so fuck off”

TRAVEL04 “Don’t think about it, just say it.” “Fuck you.”

Contact us Contact us tel: 689 599 tel:(01273) 01702 716643 sales@moderntoss.com info@brainboxcandy.com www.moderntoss.com brainboxcandytrade.com

MTPOST01 Work Postcards

MTPOST02 Drive-By Abuser Postcards

MTPOST03 Stroller Postcards


SHITNAKS The Periodic Table of Swearing Collection The Periodic Table of Swearing is an acknowledged 21st century design classic, featuring over 100 chemical swear elements and is available on a range of top quality products for creative swearing at home or at the office.

SOCK01 - Periodic Table of Swearing Socks

SWRCLOTH - Periodic Table of Swearing Tea Towel

MTP05 - Periodic Table of Swearing Poster Comes ready tubed up and labelled

MUG05 - Periodic Table of Swearing Mug

MAG04 - Periodic Table of Swearing Magnet Set


AVAILABLE TO ORDER NOW!!

“No one captures the frustrations of modern British life more acutely, or scurrilously, than Modern Toss” The Independent

the stink of excellence in a world gone tits up info@brainboxcandy.com | 01702 716643 | www.brainboxcandytrade.com


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