September 2018

Page 1

SEPTEMBER 2018

Explore Norway by cruise ship! Battling sexism in 1968 The freedom of aging

FUTURE PAST 50 Marg Penn and Nancy Burke are helping Minnesotans find meaningful work at any age

GRANDPARENTING:

When to give advice, when to save it and how to care for grandkids, too.



LiV Li VeLife Crest View Senior Community at Blaine offers an exercise class every weekday. Many seniors find they’re getting more movement now than they did living in their own homes. Jackie exercises four days each week. Why? “Because it’s available, and it’s good for your brain and everything else,” Jackie says. Before moving to Crest View, Dorothy loved line dancing. Ardis was a member of a local gym for women. Others walked a lot. Today, they value the exercise options, as well as the other activities, offered at Crest View. Take a tour of Crest View Senior Communities in Blaine or Columbia Heights and see for yourself.

Columbia Heights Campus: Providing the full Spectrum of Care — Call 763-782-1601 Blaine Campus: independent, Assisted Living, Care Suites, Memory Care — Call 763-762-8430

Call for a tour of campuses in Blaine or Columbia Heights.

CrestViewCares.org




Contents

SEPTEMBER GOOD START FROM THE EDITOR

8 Forget age discrimination: Your next act is out there!

MY TURN

10 My goal at 78 is to grow older with grit and grace.

MEMORIES

12 Pilots utilize special skills and protocols to avoid panic.

MINNESOTA HISTORY

14 Female protesters in 1968 paved the way for women’s equality.

20

ARCTIC CHARM

Explore Norway’s western coast — plus Scotland and England — on Viking’s Into the Midnight Sun cruise.

⊳⊳ The interior of the Viking Sky cruise ship shines.

GOOD HEALTH WELLNESS

16 The new shingles vaccine is more than 90 percent effective.

CAREGIVING

18 Find resources for grandparents who are taking care of grandkids.

GOOD LIVING HOUSING

38

ON THE COVER

30

HOUSING LISTINGS

Career consultants Nancy Burke and Marg Penn help Minnesotans discover pathways to meaningful work — at any age. Photos by Tracy Walsh

28 Ask these questions to find a good memory care fit.

FINANCE

32 Statistics show that grandkids want advice from their elders.

46

CAN’T-MISS CALENDAR

6 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

48

BRAIN TEASERS

IN THE KITCHEN

34 Step up your salad game with a peach Caprese.



FROM THE EDITOR Volume 37 / Issue 9 PUBLISHER

Janis Hall jhall@mngoodage.com

CO-PUBLISHER AND SALES MANAGER

Terry Gahan tgahan@mngoodage.com

GENERAL MANAGER

Zoe Gahan zgahan@mngoodage.com

EDITOR

Sarah Jackson editor@mngoodage.com

CONTRIBUTORS

Megan Devine, Ed Dykhuizen, Skip Johnson Julie Kendrick, Laura Groenjes Mitchell Marysue Moses, Dave Nimmer Lauren Peck, Mary Rose Remington Carrie Luger Slayback, Linnea Tweed Carla Waldemar, Tracy Walsh, Carol Hall

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Valerie Moe

SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER Micah Edel

GRAPHIC DESIGNER Kaitlin Ungs

CLIENT SERVICES

Delaney Patterson 612-436-5070 dpatterson@mngoodage.com

CIRCULATION

Marlo Johnson distribution@mngoodage.com

40,000 copies of Minnesota Good Age are distributed to homes and businesses metro-wide. Minnesota Good Age (ISSN 2333-3197) is published monthly by Minnesota Premier Publications. Minnesota Good Age, 1115 Hennepin Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 © 2018 Minnesota Premier Publications, Inc. Subscriptions are $18 per year.

8 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

Finding a new path BY SARAH JACKSON

S

ometimes, I wish we still lived in a world where you could find a career path, study or train, then get a job and then, finally, stay the course in your field for 30 years or more, maybe even becoming an expert or perfecting your craft — all at a single organization (or two). OK, so maybe that mythical time never really existed quite the way I’m imagining it. And maybe it’s good for us to change jobs every three to five years — at least that’s what Forbes says Photo by Tracy Walsh • tracywalshphoto.com (tinyurl.com/why-change-jobs). But the speed of our world already demands so much change of all of us, it seems. It can be exhausting staying sharp and fresh, with innovation and new technologies swirling all around us in a constantly evolving business climate. And then, in the middle of it all, we must change jobs, voluntarily or not. Fortunately, there are at least two people in the Twin Cities who can help: Meet Nancy Burke and Marg Penn, this month’s Cover Stars and the rockstar founders of Burke&Penn, a Minneapolis-based career-consulting firm that caters to ages 50 and up. Burke and Penn have had long and successful careers. They’ve seen it all in the business world. (Peruse their dazzling work histories at futurepast50.com.) They know the speed of fast companies (and slow ones) and they know very well the grueling pace of corporate (and small business) America. Many of their clients have thrived in those environments. But they’ve also found themselves drained by them — especially when nearing middle age or retirement. “They’re saying, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore,’” Burke said. Burke and Penn, now in their early 70s, didn’t want to do it anymore either. AFFORDABLE RENTS… WAIT LIST OPEN So about five years ago they struck out on their own terms to meet the needs of older, RED ROCK MANOR • (651) 459-2786 career-minded adults. 1421 10th Avenue, Newport, MN 55055 “We’re working for ourselves,” Burke said. “We can do it at the pace we want to do it.” There’s a demand for this duo. Changing jobs — even when you leave on your own terms — is incredibly hard. Burke and Penn have personal experience with that, too. “It’s a loss of identity,” Penn said. Finding that new path — that new, perhaps more thoughtful sense of self — is where Burke&Penn come in with expert advice, positive energy and patience. They help clients brush up their resumes, use online tools more efficiently, expand their networking and even do a little soul searching. “We’re really good at helping people step back and see for themselves how much they truly have to offer,” Penn said. Burke added: “We tell people, ‘Don’t define yourself by your past, but by the future you want to create.’” Well, despite being happy in the job I have now, I sure like the sound of that!


Building Stable Homes, Strong Futures and Vibrant Communities Since 1971.

NORTHWEST SUBURBS

GREATER MINNESOTA

NORTHERN SUBURBS

ARBOR LAKES COMMONS Maple Grove • (763) 416-0369

DELANO COMMONS Delano • (763) 972-2930

CENTURY TRAILS Maplewood • (651) 288-9162

BASSETT CREEK COMMONS Plymouth • (763) 543-2457

GOLDENDALE HOMES Annandale • (320) 274-5871

CONCORDIA ARMS Maplewood • (651) 280-4680

BOULEVARD GARDENS Minnetonka • (952) 542-9338

ST. MICHAEL’S HOUSING New Ulm • (507) 794-9631

EAST SHORE PLACE Mahtomedi • (651) 770-7964

MAPLE TERRACE Maple Plain • (763) 479-1131

TOWNE CLUB SENIOR HOUSING Rochester • (507) 424-1671

GARDEN TERRACE Little Canada • (651) 481-9028

NORTH GABLES Blaine • (763) 786-0232

WELLSTONE COMMONS Northfield • (507) 645-4146

GARDEN TERRACE COMMONS Little Canada • (651) 481-9028

NORWOOD SQUARE Fridley • (763) 574-2187

MINNEAPOLIS

SILVER LAKE POINTE Mounds View • (763) 785-4771

PLEASANT PLACE Rogers • (763) 428-4494

BII DI GAIN DASH ANWEBI (612) 843-5391

SOUTHERN SUBURBS

ROBBINS WAY Robbinsdale • (763) 537-6868

THE COOPERAGE SENIOR HOUSING (651) 290-6228

FAIRFIELD TERRACE Lakeville • (952) 469-1414

WESTERN SUBURBS

RIVERVIEW APARTMENTS (612) 843-5885

MOUNT CARMEL MANOR West St. Paul • (651) 451-0030

SOUTH HAVEN Edina • (952) 831-3372

ST. ANNE’S (612) 588-4663

OAK RIDGE MANOR Hastings • (651) 437-1367

SOUTH SHORE PARK Excelsior • (952) 474-9036

SEWARD TOWER EAST (612) 339-1711

OAK TERRACE Oakdale • (651) 730-6440

SUMMIT POINT Edina • (952) 920-6113

SEWARD TOWER WEST (612) 333-7472

RED ROCK MANOR Newport • (651) 459-2786

WESTONKA ESTATES Mound • (952) 472-4952

SHINGLE CREEK COMMONS (612) 588-2303

SPRUCE PLACE Farmington • (651) 463-2511

INDEPENDENT SENIOR LIVING… WAIT LIST OPEN PLEASANT PLACE • (763) 428-4494 21001 John Milless Drive, Rogers, MN 55374

AFFORDABLE RENTS… WAIT LIST OPEN RED ROCK MANOR • (651) 459-2786 1421 10th Avenue, Newport, MN 55055

• Rent is 30% of Monthly Income for Qualified Households

• 62+, or disabled

• Controlled Access Entry

• On-Site Laundry

• Community Room

• Resident lounges on each floor

• 62+, or disabled

• Controlled Access Entry

• On-Site Laundry

• Community Room

• Smoke-free building

• Smoke-free building

CALL US AT: (651) 291-1750 OR VISIT US AT: WWW.COMMONBOND.ORG/FINDHOUSING


MY TURN

The man I want to be now BY DAVE NIMMER

T

his summer, for the first time — after passing my 78th birthday and reading a Minneapolis Star Tribune series about grown children who end up sacrificing their careers to care for ailing parents — I felt a jolt of anxiety and a touch of despair, as I face the reality of growing older. The truth is I can’t “power through” the physical and emotional consequences of aging by trying harder, working longer, walking farther or thinking smarter. Nope, I get shots in my eyes every eight weeks for macular degeneration, wear a wrist brace to compensate for arthritis and exercise every morning to keep sciatica at bay. And in the past 10 years, I’ve lost many fellow travelers, including old friends, a first boss, a valued mentor and an ex-wife.

10 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

I can’t escape any of the maladies, nor can I resurrect the dead or escape the approaching end of my life. But I can live the rest of it with grit, gumption and, most important, grace. To that end, I’ve got at least the outline of a plan:

Keep on walking. For me, walking is more than exercise. It’s salve for the soul. It’s aerobic. It’s interactive. It’s as challenging as I want to make it. I can hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon — and clamor back up — or I can walk to the grocery store for a bottle of milk or a box of crackers. I can climb the stairs at church. I can hike to the post office to mail a letter. (I know that sounds hopelessly out of step in the time of technology, texting and Twitter.)

When I’m walking, I’m noticing what’s around me. I’m saving gas money. And I’m less likely to be the instigator for, or the target of, road rage.

Keep on listening. What I’m listening for is music, preferably live. Whether it’s the blues at Bunker’s Bar or Beethoven at Orchestra Hall, music can put a bounce in my step, a shiver along my spine or a smile on my face. I can be lifted up or blown away. I was at Orchestra Hall when they played Gustav Mahler’s Symphony No. 2. It was majestic. I was at The Dakota when Judy Collins sang Send in the Clowns. It was nostalgic. Whatever the music, when it’s good, it takes me to a place I can’t otherwise find — sometimes hopeful, often joyful and occasionally peaceful.


For me, walking is more than exercise. It’s salve for the soul. It’s aerobic. It’s interactive. It’s as challenging as I want to make it. Keep on serving. It’s simple enough: Indulging in self-pity is well nigh impossible when you’re helping someone worse off than you are. I’m no Mother Teresa, but I do take an old friend with no driver’s license to the grocery store. I visit a colleague in a nursing home. I write a blog for a nuns’ website. I read short stories at a seniors’ residence. And I do yard work for a few of those who can’t. It’s much easier to get out of a funk when you work up a sweat.

Keep on seeking. Since I believe this part of life is a spiritual journey, I’ve got to keep looking and learning how others are defining themselves. To that end, I’ve watched a pair of documentaries on the life and times of Fred Rogers and Pope Francis, both men with strength of character combined with a sweetness of spirit. It was the Pontiff who had an insight I hadn’t thought about in aging gracefully: “A sense of humor is a gift I ask for every day.” The takeaway from my collision with reality this summer is double-edged. First is that life is indeed more fragile now. However, I’m also freer and wiser now to be the man I always wanted to be. Dave Nimmer has had a long career as a reporter, editor and professor. Now retired, he has no business card, but plenty to do. Send comments or questions to dnimmer@mngoodage.com. Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 11


MEMORIES

Keeping cool in the cockpit

A

n airliner engine explodes at 30,000 feet. Shrapnel damages the fuselage and breaks a window. The situation is critical; it demands the pilots’ immediate attention.

CAROL: Ron Kenmir, speaking as a retired Northwest Airlines captain, how did you pilots even begin to deal with a totally unexpected emergency like this one, which recently occurred on a Southwest Airlines flight? RON: Step 1: Fly the airplane! Many accidents have happened because the crew concentrated on fixing the emergency and forgot to fly the airplane. Step 2: Silence the warning bells. As simplistic as this sounds, back in my day, we were yelling at each other over the ringing bell. Step 3: Read the emergency checklist. 12 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

CAROL: The emergency checklist sounds crucial. How important is it? RON: Very, very important. The Southwest 737 pilots heard a loud bang, their cockpit emergency alarms went off, the flight attendants phoned them saying a passenger was partially sucked out the broken window. Now what are they going to do? They’re suddenly faced with a complex emergency — a lost engine, a depressurized cabin and an injured passenger. The checklist helps assess the situation; it prioritizes their options. It’s one of two main advancements in airline crew training that greatly improve aircraft safety.

BY CAROL HALL

You have to keep your cool and look at the entire situation. We pilots all know that panic prevents you from doing this. Also, your own selfpreservation kicks in.

CAROL: What’s the second one? RON: It’s called Crew Resource Management or CRM. It means that pilots take a “real time” simulator “flight” each year in which several different emergency situations are thrown at you, just as if during an actual flight. CRM also teaches you to

utilize the many tools at your disposal to contain an emergency, including any you may have overlooked, such as using your cell phone when all communications in the cockpit are lost.


CAROL: OK. But while you’re handling an actual emergency, you’re undergoing a tremendous amount of stress. How do you stay calm and not panic? RON: You have to keep your cool and look at the entire situation. We pilots all know that panic prevents you from doing this. Also, your own self-preservation kicks in. CAROL: Doesn’t that stress catch up with you later?

Thursday, September 27 • 5:00–8:00 p.m.

CHILI BAKED POTATO EAST 7TH STORE • 740 EAST 7TH STREET, ST PAUL msmarket.coop/event Food availability while supplies last. Seating may be limited.

(ALWAYS)

RON: My dad, Willie Kenmir, who also was a Northwest Airlines captain, while flying a four-engine propeller airliner, once lost two thirds of his instruments — instruments needed to land the airplane in Anchorage. Even though Dad was able to correct the problem and landed safely, he woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat at the thought of the crash landing that could’ve happened. Although I never experienced this reaction myself, I believe it often occurs after dealing with an extremely grave, high-stress situation like my Dad’s. CAROL: Getting back to the emergency checklist, can it be utilized in other professions that require a cool head? RON: US Airways Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, of Miracle on the Hudson fame, is now retired from flying and running his own consulting firm, promoting just this very thing. The idea is to use a checklist — among other aids — to improve safety in highly sensitive professions. I believe surgery is one. Carol Hall lives in Woodbury. She’s a longtime freelance writer, a University of Minnesota graduate and a former Northwest Airlines stewardess. Send comments and questions to chall@mngoodage.com. Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 13


MINNESOTA HISTORY

Battling sexism in 1968 BY LAUREN PECK

T

he 1960s were a time of protest, and women’s liberation was one of the movements that had grown significantly by the end of the decade. On Sept. 7, 1968, feminist activists made headlines across the country by protesting the Miss America pageant in Atlantic City, charging the contest with oppressing women. Organized by New York Radical Women, the protesters marched on the boardwalk with slogans such as “Cattle parades are demeaning to human beings,” and “Can makeup cover the wounds of our oppression?” Some protesters even managed to sneak into the pageant itself, where they unfurled a “Women’s Liberation” banner. At the same time in Atlantic City, civil rights activists were having their own form of protest — naming the first Miss

Black America, highlighting Miss America’s lack of African-American contestants. One of the protest movement’s most iconic moments — which quickly became part of the country’s collective memory — was its “Freedom Trash Can,” into which women tossed items such as curlers, women’s magazines, girdles and bras to reject what they termed “instruments of female torture.” The initial goal was to burn the collection, but city officials objected. Nevertheless, the news coverage sparked the image of feminists burning bras, which still persists to this day. (Visitors to The 1968 Exhibit at the Minnesota History Center in St. Paul can see a replica of the trash can.)

Taking root in Minnesota While this 1968 protest happened on the East Coast, Minnesotans were making their voices heard on issues of women’s discrimination. A year later, in July 1969, about 10 women picketed the Queen of the Lakes coronation at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts, part of the city’s annual Aquatennial celebration. Signs read 14 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

“Beauty Contests Degrade All Women,” and “Women Are Not Commodities.” Minnesota women also joined Woman Power Day on Aug. 26, 1970, part of the national Women’s Strike for Equality organized by the National Organization for Women to mark the 50th anniversary of the passage of the 19th Amendment. Local workshops for women covered issues such as education, politics and economics. Meanwhile, protesters decorated the Foshay Tower (left) with a large banner reading “Women Unite!” About 30 women also visited Dayton’s Oak Grill for lunch, which had a history of refusing to serve women who weren’t accompanied by a male escort; the women were allowed to eat at the restaurant without incident. In the Minneapolis Tribune, a male writer wrote a dismissive column about the day’s


efforts, noting that at least the private Minneapolis Club still barred women from using the front door, saying: “It’s comforting there remains some sanctuaries for the male.” Little did he know that this local tradition of discrimination, dating back to 1908, would also fall by the wayside within a year.

‘Help Wanted’ ads Throughout 1970, local feminists also took on the issue of newspapers’ separate male and female Help Wanted sections. The listings offered starkly different career prospects — with the men’s section offering many professional, higher-paying jobs while the women’s section offered primarily nursing or receptionist positions. Activist groups such as Women Against Male Supremacy (WAMS) picketed outside the Minneapolis Star and Minneapolis Tribune and at events, including a downtown Minneapolis fashion show, which the newspapers sponsored. In the local Female Liberation Newsletter (above left), a story appeared about a little girl who asked the protesters what they were doing. The protesters handed the girl a sign to join them, but her mother joked, “Don’t do it! Her father will kill her! He’s Jim Klobuchar!” It turns out the curious girl was Amy Klobuchar, who grew up to become Minnesota’s first female U.S. senator. WAMS and the National Organization for Women went on to file complaints against 25 defense contractors with the U.S. Office of Federal Compliance, noting discrimination in their sex-segregated Help Wanted ads in local newspapers. Finally in November 1970, the Star and Tribune Company announced it would eliminate separate Help Wanted sections on Dec. 1.

Distinctive Senior Living! Welcome to Our Community of Neighbors Summer, Fall, Winter and Spring, living at Gramercy is a wonderful thing!

• Great location in the heart of Richfield within walking distance to everything you need. • Conveniently located across the street from beautiful Wood Lake Nature Center. • 1, 2 & 3 bedroom spacious homes with washer/dryer. Pet friendly. • Many social activities & amenities • Carefree lifestyle

Contact us

6711 Lake Shore Drive, Richfield, MN 55423 gramercylakeshore.com • 612.861.1378 Gramercy Park at Lake Shore Dr GA 0916 H4.indd 1

8/16/16 10:26 AM

Lauren Peck is a media relations and social media associate for the Minnesota Historical Society. Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 15


WELLNESS

The new shingles vaccine BY CARRIE LUGER SLAYBACK

S

tanding in a hotel room a year ago, my husband dropped his pajama pants to expose a rash on his hip. Looking over his shoulder accusingly, he said, “Get rid of your ‘water saving’ note telling the maids not to change the sheets! This place has bed bugs.” Turned out he had shingles. “How could that happen?” he asked his doctor when we returned home. “I had the vaccination.” “The vaccine wears off in about five years,” his doctor told him. Yesterday I went for my yearly physical. “Get the new shingles vaccine,” my doctor ordered, adding that the new vaccine — Shingrix — prevents more than 90 percent of shingles cases, even at older ages; the former vaccination, Zostavax, helped only half his patients over age 60 and even fewer of his older patients. The doctor continued: “Get the booster shot — two to six months after the first. We think it may give you up to 10 years’ immunity. Nothing boosts seniors’ immunity like this. Check your insurance. If it’s not covered, it’s around $280.”

What is shingles? You bet I’ll get vaccinated. Shingles is a virus that originates with childhood chicken pox and stays in the body for life, lingering in the nerve cells that run parallel to the spine. According to the National Foundation for Infectious Diseases, shingles is associated with normal aging and anything 16 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

that weakens the immune system such as certain medications, cancers or infections. But it can also occur in healthy children and younger persons. Shingles is not passed from person to person. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says our immune systems normally keep the virus in check. But by age 55, 30 to 40 percent of people have lost immunity, and the virus can awaken. By age 85, 50 percent of the population will develop shingles. Generally, the virus travels to one side of the waist, half encircling it, but it can spread along a nerve leading to the eye, causing blindness. The CDC lists other rare complications such as pneumonia, hearing problems, brain inflammation (encephalitis) or death.

Shingrix prevents more than 90 percent of shingles cases, even at older ages. However, shingles’ main medical symptom is pain, which can be intense and debilitating. While the pain usually subsides after three to four weeks, it can turn into a chronic pain syndrome called post-herpetic neuralgia, which you shouldn’t wish on your worst enemy.


Zostavax to Shingrix Surprisingly, the usually slow-moving CDC immunization advisory committee issued a statement recommending the new drug, Shingrix, over the former established Zostavax. I’ve never before advocated a drug, but here’s what the research to date shows: • Zostavax, the former standard of care, cut shingles outbreaks by 51 percent, but people lost protection in about five years. It was less effective with people over age 70, and couldn’t be administered to people undergoing chemotherapy or with compromised immune systems. • The new vaccine, Shingrix, is more than 90 percent effective against the virus, seems to work for people over 70, and can be used by people on chemo or with compromised immune systems. Professor Tony Cunningham, writing in the Journal of Infectious Diseases, said Shingrix offers protection for up to four years, but he believes it will last longer. “The second dose of the vaccine is important to ensure long-term protection — even for those over 70 years of age,” Cunningham said. “This is quite remarkable because there are no other vaccines that perform nearly as well for people in their 70s and their 80s. We are seeing results comparable to those of childhood vaccinations.” As for my husband, his doctor said his shingles would’ve been worse if he hadn’t been vaccinated. (He swears that Listerine swabs helped his rash subside.) He’s going with me to get the new vaccine. You can come down with shingles twice! Carrie Luger Slayback, an awardwinning teacher and champion marathoner, shares personal experience and careful research. Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 17


CAREGIVING

Celebrate grandparents this month! BY LINNEA TWEED

S

eptember is Intergenerational Month and Sept. 9 is National Grandparents Day! Some of us grew up with a grandparent down the street or at least close enough to visit frequently. And of those elders, some may have even served as a role models or as active participants in our lives. Today, families exist in many different forms and a variety of intergenerational environments. An estimated 3 percent of children nationwide live apart from their parents, and two-thirds of those are being actively raised by their grandparents. In Minnesota, there are nearly 25,000 grandparents caring for grandchildren who live with them. While this kind of caregiving — often 18 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

called kinship caregiving — may cause stress for the grandparents, many such caregivers also experience unexpected benefits, including a renewed sense of purpose, a chance to nurture family relationships and the joy of giving (and receiving) love. For children, grandparents can provide a powerful source of unconditional love and familial support.

Gather and learn ■ East Side Neighborhood Services in Northeast Minneapolis is committed to building an intergenerational community that values and respects everyone; develops confidence through education and engagement; and nourishes health and well-being.

While this kind of caregiving — often called kinship caregiving — may cause stress for the grandparents, many such caregivers also experience unexpected benefits.


At East Side, our vision is, “Every person thrives. Every voice matters.” East Side is hosting several events in September to celebrate Intergenerational Month and Grandparents Day. (Check our website at esns.org for details.) ■ Volunteers of America’s Culturally Responsive Caregiver Support + Dementia Services welcomes caregivers of all ages to its monthly Caregiver Breakfast to thank them for their “labor of love.” Join them from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. Sept. 25 at the Center for Families, 3333 N. Fourth St., Minneapolis. For more information and to RSVP, call 952-945-4034. ■ Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota’s Kinship Family Support Services offers locations throughout the state. To learn more about kinship caregiver activities in your community, call 877-917-4640 and/or go to lssmn.org/kinshipcaregivers.

Discover ideas, resources We encourage you to create your own celebration and/or consider joining us for one of ours, whatever your age! You’ll find many ideas online for intergenerational activities as well as ways to celebrate Grandparents Day. See legacyproject.org for some examples. If you’re a caregiver for a loved one, you’ll find a calendar of support programs on the Metropolitan Caregiver Services Collaborative website (caregivercollaborative.org/events). There are public-benefits programs for relatives caring for children that can help with income, food, health care, home energy, telephone and other needs for those who are eligible. To learn more, go to aarp.org/quicklink. Linnea Tweed leads the Empowering Vital Aging programs at East Side Neighborhood Services in Northeast Minneapolis. Learn more at esns.org. Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 19


TRAVEL TRAVEL

Geiranger Fjord, Norway Photos courtesy Viking Cruises and Mary Quincy

20 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age


NORDIC SPLENDOR A new ship sails to the top of Norway, back through Scotland and, finally, into London

A

by Carla Waldemar

T LAST, MY TRUE IDENTITY WAS REVEALED.

I’d long suspected that I’d been meant to be a princess. Clearly my ocean-cruising vessel, the new, nine-deck Viking Sky, had straightened out the story, so I was pampered like royalty. The cabin steward folded my flung pajamas, kept the room’s espresso machine stocked, replenished luxe products and furry towels in the bathrooms (with heated flooring) and even delivered breakfast at 4 a.m. on the day of (sob!) our flight home. The dining rooms’ crews had been alerted, too. My glass was never empty of the complimentary wine, my four-course meals (foie gras, lobster in the shell, Angus beef and local specialties such as Norwegian salmon) were served at tables with panoramic views. Towels awaited at the heated swimming pool. High tea arrived in the Wintergarden lounge. And the spa welcomed us with a sauna, plunge pool and even snow room (really!).

Then I realized that all 900 passengers onboard for the 15-day all-inclusive trip received the same royal treatment. A quick confession: I’ve enjoyed many an intimate river cruise, but fretted that a bigger oceangoing ship would mean hordes in line at the breakfast buffet (eggs Benedict, smoked salmon) or before the departures for daily complimentary land tours. But no. The team clearly had been drilled to forestall waits in line. I’d also assumed it would be difficult to encounter the same folks twice — never mind making lasting friendships — among hundreds of passengers. But no again. Chance conversations often led to dinner dates. We chose the voyage called Into the Midnight Sun, celebrating both our state’s Norwegian heritage and the near-24-hour daylight Norway boasts in summer. (Our error: Sunlight doesn’t always deliver warmth. Pack woolies.)

The Viking Sky ship interior, and inifinity pool (right)

Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 21


By dawn we’d arrived at the stunning Orkney Islands for a jaw-dropping exploration of this Scottish outpost’s Stone Age.

The Orkney Islands, Scotland

Our July expedition then took us to the northern Scottish isles, followed by the more urban ports of Edinburgh and London.

Setting out We began Norway in Bergen, where we anchored in its beyond-beautiful Old Town harbor, site of UNESCO-cited wooden guild halls, now serving as boutiques, museums and cafes, and its iconic open-air fish market, where we found whale sausage, seal oil, shrimp and even moose and reindeer burgers. Shops bloomed with Norwegian knitwear. Walking inland, we circled the town’s manmade Lille Lungegardsvann lake with a string of art museums hugging the shoreline, hosting paintings by Norway’s Impressionists as well as local hero Edvard Munch, with his angst-fueled portraits. There’s an entire contemporary building, too, where a cement mixer spews red poppies. 22 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

Next, from our private balcony, we watched as our ship set sail and silently slunk along the fjord to the open sea. By 5 a.m. we were sliding into Geiranger, perhaps Norway’s most breathtaking fjord. Its 27-mile path flows between steep, rocky walls pleated with the silver threads of waterfalls and tufts of snow (yes even in July). Camera overload! We then clambered aboard buses to maneuver the corkscrew turns up the mountainside, past goats munching in picket patches of green to Geiranger’s fjord museum, which recaps the area’s wild and scenic history.

Arctic bound From there we set off on an Inside Passage cruise to picturesque Molde, nestled amid an archipelago of tiny islands. Its modern cathedral — raised after Nazis virtually destroyed the town — is a

mirage of white brick and modern glass in jewel colors. The town museum, too, is another modern showstopper of blond wood peaks/triangles. Inside, the story of fishing, hunting and lumbering plays out. Close by stretches an open-air museum of historic buildings — grass-roofed cottages, a schoolhouse, church and bakery — gathered on the site, where peppy costumed children sing and dance for visitors. After a day at sea (one of three), we glided north through the inside passage to Tromso with its stunning snow-white Arctic Cathedral rising from the waterfront. On the shore, the Polar Museum documents the challenging life of Arctic whalers and seal hunters with a Husky dog providing a soundtrack. Norway’s heroic explorer, Roald Amundson, discovered the illusive Northwest Passage; his challenging feats (and follies) play out here, too.


Molde, Norway

Rugged beauty Soon we set sail yet again — even farther into the Arctic — where we were surrounded solely by windswept boulders, populated by reindeer herds. Our icy destination was the rugged North Cape, a pinnacle of barren tundra — the virtual top of Norway and all of Scandinavia — chillier than a January Minnesota day, earning even us Minnesotans new bragging rights. After turning south, we meandered through the Lofoten Islands with their craggy peaks to anchor at Leknes, a

fishing village where cod is God. (Skiffs lined the shore and V-shaped drying racks served as lawn art.) As we traveled, the landscape segued from gray back to green, and the houses wore the hues of Easter eggs. Zany sheep scattered mindlessly on our approach to Leknes’ white-sand — but ice-cold — beach along the Lofoten “Riviera,” dotted with boulders big as Buicks.

Scotland, ho! And with that, we said goodbye to Norway and headed southward still.

Tix available at the John and Betty Adamich Box Office, charge-by-phone 1-800-982-2787 or online at ticketmaster.com Group rates starting at 10+ 612-322-5767

Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 23

Rileys Travel GA 0918 V3.indd 1

8/9/18 1:46 PM


Scotland was calling, so we anchored at one of the Shetland Islands, in a subarctic archipelago, where the homes are built of slate-gray stone. Wandering the main street, we browsed shops selling works of yarn transformed into high art, as in Norway, but this time in the traditional Fair Isle pattern. We gossiped with vendors of these handmade knits as we headed toward a museum celebrating Shetland’s wild history, starting with arrival of the Picts in 297 A.D. Our island tour took us through the rolling, heather-clad hills, including a stop at Carol’s Ponies, where Carol, a third-generation owner, introduced her herd of Shetland’s famous miniature horses, strong enough to pull twice their own weight. Past salmon cages and ropes where mussels clung, we returned to the ship for dinner — this time in its Italian restaurant. Another night, we reserved a space at the chef ’s table to explore a tasting

Bergen, Norway

menu. But it was hard to beat the main restaurant with its menu changing nightly — and the servers greeting us by name as they start the wine flowing. By dawn we’d arrived at the stunning Orkney Islands for a jaw-dropping exploration of this Scottish outpost’s Stone Age. We made our way past grasscovered burial mounds to Skara Brae, a prehistoric excavated village. We passed the Ring of Brodgar — older than the pyramids — where 27 man-high stones stand upright to form a giant circle, their origin still cloaked in mystery. Back in town, we gazed with wonder at the

majestic Romanesque power of the St. Magnus Cathedral of 1137.

Urban endings From there, we headed to elegant Edinburgh, where we kept an eye out for Queen Elizabeth, who was reportedly spending the night at Holyrood Palace. No luck. But the consolation prize was pretty special — encountering a lively marching band heading her direction, garbed in jaunty red jackets, kilts and mile-high bearskin hats as they played their drums and tubas.

Chaise seating near the main pool 24 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age


We’re here for one reason. You.

Opening Fall 2019

Opening early 2020


London was the grand finale. Our full-day optional tour of the city included its iconic Tower, where we gasped at the crown jewels (including a diamond big as a lemon), the armor of Henry VIII and scary prison cells. We hit all the high points — Parliament, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square (blanketed with pigeons, just as promised) and a lunch of fish and chips in Covent Garden. It couldn’t get better, right? Well, it did. As we packed for our next day’s flight home — from our balconies on the Thames River — we watched fireworks explode in a brilliant climax. “Ladies and gentlemen,” said our Norwegian captain, “we hope you’ve enjoyed your cruise.” Carla Waldemar is an award-winning food/travel/arts writer. She edits the annual Zagat Survey of Twin Cities restaurants and writes food and travel articles for publications around the world. She lives in Uptown.

26 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age Senior Companion and Foster Grandparent GA 0918 V6.indd 7/25/18 1 12:11 PM

LEARN MORE

Explore Viking’s oceangoing ships, itineraries and prices (starting at $6,999, plus airfare) at vikingcruises.com/oceans.


$1,595.00 (prepaid)

$4,995.00 (prepaid)

$ ,995.00 (prepaid)

GreenGravesUSA.com


HOUSING

What to look for in memory care housing BY MARYSUE MOSES

F

ew processes are more stressful than deciding on the best place to move a loved one when it’s determined that a move to memory care is the best option. Keep in mind that when this decision needs to be made, it’s often critically important, not only for the well-being of the person with dementia, but also to maintain the health of that person’s care partners. If you’re in the process of making this potentially agonizing decision, here are some questions to ask yourself, and others, as you tour and consider various possibilities:

The environment Is the atmosphere cozy and homelike with comfortable temperatures and pleasant smells? ■ Are there items of interest on the wall to attract attention and engage the residents? ■ Is the TV on, with no one really engaged? ■ Is there soothing music playing or a scheduled activity going on? ■ Do you see residents out and about, chatting together? ■ Do you see staff interacting warmly with residents? ■ Do residents seem calm and content overall?

The staff ■ Are staff warm and friendly toward visitors? ■ How much training does the front-line 28 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

■ ■

staff get upon hire (and yearly) on different dementia topics? Are staff trained in dementia care solely on a computer or do they also get in-person instruction? How much training does the front-line staff get upon hire (and yearly) on different dementia topics? Do staff seem to take their time around residents or are they rushing? If you have the opportunity, away from residents, ask a staff member, “What do you like about working with people with dementia?” Ask how staff are trained to deal with challenging situations, such as a resident pounding on the door and wanting to leave? (Encouraging answers might include “We’re trained to validate the need behind whatever the resident is feeling, to comfort, to reassure and to redirect the resident to something we know is meaningful or pleasurable for him or her,” or “When possible, we take someone who wants to leave this part of the building for a short walk in another part of the building or (weather permitting) even outside.” What is the ratio of staff to residents? Is memory care currently full now? How many memory care residents will there be when it’s full? (Does this sound like too big of a crowd for your loved one to manage?)

■ Observe the relationship between front-line staff and memory care residents very closely. (The quality of life of your loved one will be dependent on the quality of the relationships she or he has with the staff who interact with them the most.) ■ Ask how consistent the staffing patterns are. Will your loved one have the same person helping them for a certain number of days in a row? (Consistent staffing patterns are a very good sign, as are caregivers who have worked at the site or in memory care for many years.)

Activities and engagement ■ Is there an activity staff person specifically assigned to the memory care community? ■ Are activities ever scheduled after supper? How about on the weekend? If you get an activities schedule, look to see if the weekend schedule is as full as the weekday schedule. ■ Ask to observe an activity. Note the level of engagement of the participants. Is the activity being done for the residents, or is there interaction and participation because the activity is being done with the residents? ■ How often do staff engage residents during the down time they have on their shifts? ■ How much is music a regular part of the life of the community?


■ Do assisted living residents and memory care residents ever interact? ■ Are there any service projects being done? ■ How would my loved one be made to feel useful in this community?

Family support ■ Is there a care partner support group that meets on site or nearby? ■ How often are educational presentations offered to family members about dementia or related issues? ■ How often will I be invited to attend a care conference concerning my loved one? ■ Has this site had experience with different types of dementia (such as Lewy body, frontotemporal or vascular)? (Even if your loved one has an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, the most common type of dementia, it’s good to know if the site has experience working with different types of dementia.)

And more! This is by no mean a complete list of what you’ll want to ask, but it’s a start. If you’re trying to differentiate between two similar communities, you might ask something like: “What are you most excited about currently in terms of what’s going in in your memory care community?” Finally, think about your loved one, their personality, their habits, their interests and accomplishments — and ask specific questions to determine how all of that might be catered to at whatever sites you’re considering. Good luck in your search! Marysue Moses is the Dimensions Coordinator for Ebenezer, Minnesota’s largest senior living operator and part of the Fairview Health System. Dimensions is Ebenezer’s seven-component personcentered dementia care program. Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 29


HOUSING RESOURCES •MEMORY CARE •ASSISTED LIVING •INDEPENDENT HOUSING •LONG TERM CARE •NEW CONSTRUCTION AUGUSTANA CARE OF MINNEAPOLIS ••••

Our full continuum of care offers everything from independent living to skilled nursing, all on one campus! We offer in-home care, restaurant-style dining, a bank, pharmacy, grocery store, coffee shop, beauty shop, medical clinic, fitness center, and more! Minneapolis • 612-238-5555 minneapoliscampus.org

COMMONBOND COMMUNITIES ••

NOKOMIS SQUARE COOPERATIVE •

LYNGBLOMSTEN •••

SALVATION ARMY BOOTH MANOR •

CommonBond builds stable homes, strong futures, and vibrant communities. As the largest nonprofit provider of affordable homes in the Upper Midwest, CommonBond has been building and sustaining homes with services to families, seniors, and individuals with disabilities since 1971. St. Paul • 651-291-1750 commonbond.org/findhousing

CITY OF SOUTH ST. PAUL, HOUSING DIVISION •

Lyngblomsten is a Christian nonprofit organization serving older adults and their families. A continuum of care offers: independent housing with assisted living services, full range of 24-hour skilled nursing options including short and long-term care, and community services and resources. St. Paul • 651-646-2941 lyngblomsten.org

The City of South St. Paul operates 296 one bedroom public housing apartments for residents aged 50+. Rent is based on 30% of tenant’s income. All utilities paid, on-site caretaker, security, after-hours answering service, community room, resident activities, laundry facilities. Call today for an appointment. South St. Paul • 651-554-3270 mostrow@sspmn.org

Conveniently located across from Loring Park, this 21-story high rise, with 154 onebedroom apartments is designed for seniors 62 years of age or better, offering many services and amenities. It also combines the convenience of being near downtown with the serenity of the great outdoors. Minneapolis • 612-338-6313 salvationarmynorth.org/community/ booth-manor

ONLY P3

South St. Paul HRA

8131 4th St N

50+ Community Income Based Rent

Mark your calendars for our famous bake & craft sale!

All Utilities Paid

62+ Independent Living 5015 35th Avenue South, Minneapolis www.NokomisSquare.com

We’re ideally located in a comfortable Minneapolis neighborhood.

Newly Remodeled

Friday,

Elevators

3-8 PM

Controlled Entries

Nov 30th CONTACT KIM

Nokomis Square Cooperative is a member owned and operated housing and lifestyle choice for individuals 62 plus. We’re situated between Lake Nokomis and Minnehaha Park in South Minneapolis. Concrete and steel construction and experienced maintenance staff provide a carefree, well-kept environment. Minneapolis • 612-721-5077 nokomissquare.com

On Site Caretaker 651-578-0676 www.oak-meadows.org

Call for an appointment 651-554-3270

Call to schedule your tour today!

612.721.5077 Equal Housing Opportunity

30 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age South St Paul HRA GA 0918 12.indd 3

7/24/18 Nokomis 2:31 PM Square GA 0214 12.indd 1

1/15/14 4:37 PM


Booth Manor Residence ADVERTISER LISTINGS

ST. BENEDICT’S SENIOR COMMUNITY •••

Convenience, independence and lifestyle are important aspects when choosing a senior community. Whether it's simplifying your life to make more time for activities, or needing assistance with everyday tasks, our campuses in St. Cloud, Monticello, and Sartell offer choices for vital aging. Sartell • 320-654-2352 St. Cloud • 320-203-2747 Monticello • 763-295-4051 centracare.com/sbscmont

For Seniors 62+ • 1 Bedrooms • Based on Income • Utilities Included • Service Coordinator • Resident Activities & Programs • Community Room • Smoke-Free Building

1421 Yale Place, Mpls

612-338-6313

WILLS, ESTATE PLANNING

JAMES G. ROBAN Attorney at Law

261 Ruth Street North St. Paul (651) 738-2102 Will: $40 PoWer of Attorney: $30 HeAltH CAre DireCtive: $70

Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 31


FINANCE

Share your wisdom, grandparents! BY SKIP JOHNSON

G

randparents can play a special role in the lives of their grandchildren by offering their time, love, advice and emotional — as well as financial — support. Another way grandparents can make a lasting positive difference, of course, is to help guide grandkids in their personal financial education with simple, practical tips as well as continued conversations around money, thriftiness and even investing. If you give a check or gift of money to your grandkids for every birthday or for major holidays, you already have a starting point for personal finance discussions. You’re also in the convenient position of outranking their parents in years of financial experience. And they might be more likely to listen to you than their primary caregivers. Indeed, statistics show that your intergenerational insights will likely be welcome. According to a 2014 study released by the financial services company TIAA-CREF, 85 percent of 1,000 young adults surveyed said they’d be open to discussing finances with their grandparents. It’s worth noting, however, that only 8 percent of the 1,000 grandparents surveyed reported talking with their grandchildren about money. Helping your grandkids learn how to be smart and responsible about money can give them knowledge that may benefit them over their entire lifetimes. 32 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

If you have wisdom to share, you might consider some of these avenues for passing on your personal finance legacy:

Take them to the bank. Think of this as a financial field trip that addresses the basics of cash banking. Explain the difference between checking and savings. They’ll want to know what a bank is for, how an ATM works and where the money comes from. Encourage your grandkids to open checking accounts with money from gifts, small jobs or allowances. You could also open a savings account for your grandchild to illustrate the concepts of interest and compounding.

Talk about money. Sharing your financial values on a regular basis is a wonderful way to pass on your good habits to your grandkids. How do you handle credit cards? What’s your savings plan? Why do you have investments? When you think a grandchild is old enough to understand, bring up these subjects and share how you think about money and how you make it work for you. Be prepared for loads of questions.

Encourage earning. A part-time job or a summer job can be a big learning experience for a kid when it comes to both spending and saving. Those first paychecks provide perfect


opportunities to talk about tax withholding. Help them decide how they want to spend some earnings — and how to save some, too.

Teach investing basics. Teenagers might be curious about how to invest in companies they interact with daily, such as Facebook/Instagram, Google or Twitter. This is the perfect time to explain why it’s important to diversify a portfolio. While discussing individual stocks, you can also talk about the benefits of mutual funds. Discuss the uncertainties of any investing and how to think about market volatility.

Inspire charitable giving. Sound money habits also can include donating to meaningful causes. Discuss the charities you support with your time and money. Ask your grandchildren which organizations they might like to support — such as a food bank, animal shelter or church. Help them realize that financial responsibility means making the best use of money for themselves and others. If they want to give, show them how to contribute a portion of their savings.

THE KENWOOD RETIREMENT COMMUNITY

Life-Enriching Senior Apartments in the Heart of Minneapolis THE

KENWOOD

Voted 2018 top rated senior facilities in Minnesota

No other senior living community can match THE KENWOOD’s outstanding value, convenience and vibrant lifestyle. Independent, Assisted & Short-Term Senior Rentals www.thekenwood.net | 612-294-1683 | 825 Summit Ave

Grandparents are uniquely positioned to give love and support in many ways to grandkids. Teaching your grandchildren practical money skills can be a very useful life skill and can lead to a happy and successful life as they grow up, which is the best gift of all. Skip Johnson is an advisor and partner at Great Waters Financial, a financial-planning firm and insurance agency with locations in Minneapolis, Richfield, Minnetonka, White Bear Lake and Duluth. Johnson appears regularly on Fox 9’s morning show. Learn more at greatwatersfinancial.com. Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 33


IN THE KITCHEN

Peachy keen by Megan Devine

Caprese salad is a go-to side this time of year when tomatoes and basil are in season. But what about substituting peaches for a pop of orange — and a touch of sweetness — plus the subtle tang of white balsamic vinegar?

34 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age


PEACH CAPRESE 1�2 cup white balsamic vinegar 1�4 cup extra virgin olive oil 2 white peaches, chilled 2 yellow peaches, chilled 2 4-ounce fresh mozzarella balls, preferably water-packed 10 fresh basil leaves, torn 1 teaspoon flaky salt 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

⊲ Combine the vinegar and oil in an 8-ounce screw-top jar and shake well. ⊲ Refrigerate until well chilled. (Dressing can be made ahead and stored in the fridge for up to a week.) ⊲ Remove the pits from the peaches and cut them into half-inch-thick slices or wedges. Drain the mozzarella (if water packed) and pat it dry. Use a sharp knife to cut the cheese into ¼-inch slices. ⊲ Arrange the peaches and mozzarella on a serving platter. ⊲ Scatter the basil leaves on top, drizzle over the dressing and sprinkle the flaky salt and pepper on top. ⊲ Serve immediately.

APPOINTMENTS NOW AVAILABLE IN EDINA BE SEEN IN 1 WEEK OR LESS! We offer colonoscopy & all other GI procedures new technology non-invasive Erin Keech, PA

6600 France Ave S, Ste 660 952.368.3800 bhattigi.com

Ahsan Bhatti MD, FACP

Historic Cave Tours

As seen on the History Channel “Secret Passages” Hear, see, and explore stories of the sandstone caves. Hear the legends of mining, mobster massacres, and ghostly lore in a truly unique setting.

45 Minute Walking Tour • No Reservations Needed Tour Times Year ‘Round:

$8.00 Per Person

Thursdays 5 pm • Saturdays 11 am • Sundays 11 am Home of the St. Paul Gangster Tour

Wabasha Street Caves • 651-292-1220

215 Wabasha St. S., St. Paul, MN • WabashaStreetCaves.com

Adapted from Magnolia Table: A Collection of Recipes for Gathering by Joanna Gaines. Copyright 2018. Reprinted with permission from William Morrow, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 35


NANA & MAMA

The slippery slope of advice BY MARY ROSE REMINGTON AND LAURA GROENJES MITCHELL

middle of dealing with them. I want to be able to listen and understand your advice. Can we be sure to discuss those things when the kids aren’t around?”

Share your rationale.

MAMA:

By the time I became a parent in 2016, the Internet had already become a wealth of information on child development, health and parenting. But even in the era of Google, my family and friends — and strangers alike — were more than happy to share their wisdom and stories with us, welcome or not. For my parnter and me, the most challenging advice to receive was from our parents/in-laws. We knew our parents were coming from a place of genuine care, a desire to support us and be actively involved in their grandchild’s life, but we weren’t always on the same page. While many fundamentals of parenting remain constant across time, some things have changed significantly due to generational differences and advances in science/research over the past 30-plus years, such as putting babies to sleep on their backs and car seat installation methods. There were also occasions in which differences in parenting styles resulted in us choosing alternative approaches to those our own parents used when we were children. 36 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

I’ve found the following strategies helpful to ensure our parents know how to make their advice-giving as helpful and supportive as possible:

Set clear boundaries. Explain issues in which you’re open to advice — and specify when you’re not: ■ “I’m struggling with ___ and would love to know your thoughts. How did you handle this when I was younger?” ■ “My partner and I have talked it over, and have decided we’re handling ___ in this way. We’re not looking for advice on this issue.”

Be open and honest. Say up front how and when you prefer to receive advice. ■ “I prefer that you ask if I’m open to advice on ___ before sharing your thoughts, stories or making comments.” ■ “I’ve noticed I’m more defensive when you bring up issues while I’m in the

Show that you’ve put thought into your decisions by explaining why you’re doing things a certain way. ■ “Our pediatrician says ___” ■ “Recent research recommends ___” ■ “___ aligns best with our style of parenting.” ■ If all of the above doesn't work, or if you know it’s best to avoid these conversations entirely, you may choose not to engage and to change the subject if it comes up. (If you don’t want advice on an issue, don’t bring the issue up with your parents at all or you’ll be sending mixed messages.)

NANA:

While attending a recent baby shower, I heard a new mom describe the challenge she was having with her mother, specifically around having no toys or blankets in the baby’s crib. Although she’d described the latest research and recommendations from her pediatrician to her mother, her mom’s discounting reply was, “Well, we put toys and blankets in the crib with you, and you turned out OK.” It sounded like Grandma’s advice was to ignore the latest research and just do what she did: Use a blanket and put toys in the crib. Unfortunately the crib — and


what went in it — had become a battleground for the mother and daughter. So here’s the deal, fellow grandparents: We’ve had our turn and raised our kids to the best of our abilities with the knowledge we had at the time. Now it’s our kids’ turn. They and their partners get to call the shots with their kids, taking in the latest research and guidelines about child rearing. Our smart, capable children are learning — sometimes by trial and error — just like we did. Mistakes will be made, consults and confessions with close friends who are also parents will be shared and numerous child-rearing problems will be solved, with and without our input. It’s all part of the parenting journey. Yes, we grandparents care deeply about our grandchildren and yes, we know a few things about kids and parenting. Yet the safest, most respectful strategy is to assume that unless our kids ask, they probably don’t want our advice. And when there’s a strategy or parenting tip we’re dying to share, can inquire: “Are you open to my advice on xyz?” If they say no, we zip it. If they say yes, we can share, knowing they may take, tweak or totally reject our suggestion. Giving parenting advice to our adult kids is a slippery slope. Keep the peace by respecting and honoring their parenting choices. And trust that they’ll ask for advice when they need and want it. It just might not be us they ask.

SANDBERG

FUNERAL & CREMATION SERVICES

Our Family Serving Yours Since 1942 Luncheon Options

Remodeled and Spacious (chapel seating 200) 2593 E. 7th Ave., North St. Paul, MN 55109

651-777-2600

sandbergfuneralhome.com

Mary Rose Remington, a baby boomer and new grandmother, lives in Minneapolis. Her daughter, Laura Groenjes Mitchell — a millennial firsttime mom — lives in Denver. They are documenting their generational differences with this occasional series in both Good Age and its sister publication, Minnesota Parent. Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 37


Burke&Penn

CAREER CONSULTANTS NANCY BURKE AND MARG PENN HELP MINNESOTANS FIND MEANINGFUL WORK — AT ANY AGE

by Julie Kendrick 38 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age


Nancy Burke and Marg Penn founded their consulting firm, Burke&Penn about five years ago to meet the career needs of people age 50 and older. Photos by Tracy Walsh

EVERYONE KNOWS THAT ONCE YOU’RE OVER 50, YOU CAN PUT ALL YOUR CAREER DREAMS ASIDE.

In an era of rampant age discrimination — those darn millennials — there’s just no point in hoping for a “dream job,” right? Wrong. Nancy Burke, 73, and Marg Penn, 72, the careerconsulting duo behind the firm Burke&Penn, are here to tell you that’s outdated thinking.

If you really want to find new work, more meaningful work or an “encore career” that starts post-retirement, then you’ll need to start by realizing just how marketable your skills and experience really are. First things first, though: Stop all that talk about age discrimination. Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 39


discussed how they might use their skills

We’re really good at helping people step back and see for themselves how much they truly have to offer. — Marg Penn of Burke&Penn

to help people over 50, who they both saw as underserved in the areas of career coaching and life planning. Penn earned her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Minnesota, where she studied with Sunny Sundal Hansen, who is renowned in the field of career development. Burke holds a master’s in adult development from the University of Minnesota. Her thesis was on career development for people transitioning mid-career following a job loss.

Never too late “Of course it exists to some degree, but 80 percent of the problem is how people are thinking about it,” Burke said. “You need to start by believing in yourself.” Belief is great, of course, but self-reflection and strategic packaging are also important. Burke and Penn help people assess their skills, build networks and pull together polished support tools such as resumes and LinkedIn profiles. They work with people who have been laid off, those looking to re-enter the workforce after an absence and those who want a sense of purpose and additional income after retirement. Their goal, they say, is to build the confidence, courage and clarity needed for a bold second half. They’re not a placement firm, and employers don’t approach them looking for candidates. Instead, they do a “deep dive” by working with clients until they find the positions they’re looking for — often over a period of months. “We’re really good at helping people step back and see for themselves how much they truly have to offer,” Penn said. Burke added: “We tell people, ‘Don’t define yourself by your past, but by the future you want to create.’” 40 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

A new path Burke and Penn’s business partnership, which started five years ago, began when they were both approaching retirement from their own incredibly varied and successful professional careers. “We had known each other through various professional organizations, and — as luck would have it — we had a mutual client who asked both of us to join her book group,” Penn said. Over a couple glasses of wine, they

Burke and Penn — who call themselves “your guides to finding your future past 50” — have worked with people in their late 40s. Their oldest client to date was 67. A typical story for their practice goes like this, Burke said: “A 59-year-old woman had worked for a medium-sized company for many years. She was underpaid and underappreciated, and she’d been looking for a new job for 18 months, but she had been unsuccessful.”

Don’t define yourself by your past, but by the future you want to create. — Nancy Burke of Burke&Penn



She was sure it was because of age discrimination. But when Burke and Penn asked her how she was looking, she said it was though online applications, which isn’t the way most people find a job. “We convinced her to begin networking, tapping into the power of what we call ‘the invisible job market,’” Burke said. “After just six weeks — the week she turned 60, by the way — she started new job with a pay increase of 25 percent.” Think it’s too late to make a change? Not so, say Burke and Penn, who can share many examples of major career changes among the over-50 set. One of Burke’s favorite stories dates back to a client she had before Burke&Penn. He lost his job at age 59: “He had been in a director-level position at a large global organization,” Burke said. “He was blown away and really grieving." It took several months — and following many of their recommendations on suggested reading — before he got back on his feet. Slowly, however, he began to blossom, and discovered he was ready for a huge life change, Burke said. He got divorced, connected with his college sweetheart, moved to Napa Valley and started taking wine classes.

Burke and Penn at OffiCenters' North Loop location

He recently celebrated his 18th anniversary of working in the tasting room at Silverado Vineyards. Burke said he jokingly told her: “They love me here. I don’t need supervision, and I clean up after myself.”

Post-retirement purpose Tracy Anderson of Minneapolis — a 56-year-old vice president of insurance and annuities for Ameriprise Financial — is

working with Burke&Penn on a multiphase plan for his transition to retirement. Anderson enjoys having two different perspectives, plus the added impetus to take action. “I always leave our meetings feeling motivated and in control of my future,” he said. “I’m excited to take on a role that will give me a true sense of purpose while providing the flexibility to participate in leisure activities that I enjoy,

FUTURE PAST 50 Looking for work or wondering about new opportunities after retirement? Here are some suggestions from Nancy Burke and Marg Penn of Burke&Penn in Minneapolis.

• Refine your look: “A nice haircut and modern glasses can make a difference in presenting the image of someone who is engaged, healthy and ready to work,” Penn said.

• Freshen up your attitude: "Walk with a spring in your step and put out some good energy,” Burke said. Penn said: “I can’t emphasize enough the importance of an upbeat manner.”

• Start networking: “Many people have a negative view of networking, and equate it to ‘selling’ yourself, but it’s really a way to ask questions and learn new things,” Burke said.

• Craft an elevator speech: “When someone says, ‘Tell me about yourself,’ you need to offer something positive, sincere and interesting,” Penn said. “Keep your description pithy and clear.”

Burke and Penn recommend their clients read The 20-Minute

• Get with the times: “You should be aware of and up-to-date with technology. If you don’t know what Snapchat is, find out,” said Penn. (Hint: Ask your kid or grandkid!) 42 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

Networking Meeting: How Little Meetings Can Lead to Your Next Big Job by local author Marcia Ballinger. Penn said: “The book is practical and down-to-earth, and it includes a step-by-step process on how to have a successful networking meeting.” LEARN MORE AT FUTUREPAST50.COM.



such as travel, hiking and woodworking.” Burke and Penn did not disclose the pricing for their service packages, but said it’s “on a par with other professional services.” Penn added: “Our service is unique as we do all our work together with every client — and we stay with people until they achieve the goals they initially set. Timeframes can be anywhere from two months to over a year.”

When they’re not working As much as they excel at helping people find meaningful work, Burke and Penn — who take meetings at a variety of locations in the metro area through OffiCenters — also understand the need for balance, including in their own lives. Penn loves escaping to her lakefront home in Lino Lakes when she isn’t enjoying the Guthrie Theater, the Minnesota Orchestra and her season

⊳ In 2017, Marg Penn and Nancy Burke won a 50 Over 50 award from AARP Minnesota and Pollen, which highlights “50 of the most inspiring and accomplished leaders from across Minnesota.”

tickets to see the Minnesota Twins. (Her first name — Marg — incidentally is pronounced like the Marg in margarita.) Burke lives in southwest Minneapolis, but noted: “I grew up in St. Paul, so I’m bilingual.” Burke serves on local boards, volunteers, tutors and spends time with her three grandchildren. She’s also a published author. In 2016, she and career coach Richard Dodson co-authored Power Your Career: The Art of Tactful Self-Promotion at Work, which won five national awards as the best career book of 2016/2017.

OLDER ADULTS WITH

MILD COGNITIVE IMPAIRMENT NEEDED FOR AN EXERCISE AND COGNITIVE TRAINING STUDY

If you have mild cognitive impairment and are 65 years of age or older, you might qualify for an exercise and cognitive training study. A specialist will guide your exercise and/or cognitive training sessions for 6 months, so you can continue on your own for 12 months. You will receive compensation and gym membership reimbursement (location-dependent).

For more information, please call (612) 626-9490 Sponsored by the National Institute On Aging

44 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age Dr Fang Yu GA 0918 V6.indd 1

6/18/18 3:57 PM

Burke and her husband, Jim, will celebrate their 50th anniversary this fall. Burke and Penn urge everyone — job seekers or not — to keep their minds open to new possibilities. “We only have one life, so we need to make the most of it,” Penn said. “There are plenty of opportunities, so don’t get stuck.” Julie Kendrick is a contributing writer for many local and national publications. She lives in Minneapolis. Follow her on Twitter @KendrickWorks.

Celebrating 30 Years!


Cremation Society of Minnesota

ABOUT CREMATION Q. How does the Cremation Society of Minnesota work? A. The Cremation Society is notified immediately

at the time of death. The member’s body is taken to the Society’s crematory. It is held until proper medical authorization and a cremation permit is secured. It is then cremated.

Q. What happens to the ashes after cremation? A. The member’s remains are handled according to their written instructions. They may be picked up by survivors or delivered for a fee.

Q. What is the cost for cremation? A. “Our current cost for our basic direct cremation

service is $1,795.00.” It includes removal of the body from the place of death, cremation, filing of necessary papers, and a cardboard container suitable for burial. The charge for non-members, who we also serve, is more.

Q. How do I become a member? A. Fill out the registration form and mail it to our

near-est location. Enclose a one-time membership fee of $15.00 per person. The fee covers setting up and maintaining records. It is not refundable nor an offset to final service costs. We will register you and send you a wallet-sized membership card, and a certificate of registration.

Q. What are the benefits of prepaying for services? A. Prepayment provides two benefits – it removes a

stress from survivors and guarantees that services will be performed at today’s cost.

Q. Where can I learn more? A. You may call or visit any one of our locations, or

visit us at cremationsocietyofmn.com or email us at info@csmcremation.com.

REGISTRATION FORM

Name Address Telephone (

)

INFORMATION REQUIRED ON THE DEATH CERTIFICATE Date of Birth

(will remain confidential)

Place of Birth

Sex ❏ M ❏ F

Race

Hispanic ❏ Yes ❏ No

Father’s Name

Social Security #

Mother’s Name

Marital Status ❏ Married ❏ Never Married ❏ Widowed ❏ Divorced If married, spouse’s full legal name, including maiden Are you a Veteran? ❏ Yes ❏ No

If Yes, enclose a copy of your discharge paper.

AUTHORIZATION FOR CREMATION I, the undersigned, authorize and request the Cremation Society of Minnesota or its assigns to cremate the remains of , and further authorize and request that the following disposition of the cremated remains be made: . I will indemnify and hold harmless the Cremation Society of Minnesota and the crematory from any claims to the contrary including all liability and claims related to the shipment and storage of the cremated remains. Signature

Date

Witness Signature

Date

Address Telephone (

)

Email address

NEXT OF KIN – Please list at least one. Name

Relationship

Address Telephone (

)

PAYMENT PLAN – You are not a member until this form is on file and your registration fee is received. “Our current cost for our basic direct cremation service is $1,795.00.” ❏ I wish to preregister with the Cremation Society of Minnesota

Registration Fee:

❏ I wish to prepay for my Basic Cremation, I understand my pre-payment will be placed in an insurance policy to be used at time of death ❏ I wish to register at this time but not prepay

$15.00 $

Total Paid: $ GA 09/18

PLEASE MAIL FORM TO THE NEAREST CHAPEL LISTED BELOW

Complete Cremation Services PROFESSIONAL · DIGNIFIED · ECONOMICAL

CremationSocietyOfMN.com


CAN’T-MISS CALENDAR SEPTEMBER

PARTY IN THE PRAIRIE

→ Enjoy fun outdoor activities, local flavors and live music, including folk-rock, Americana and bluegrass performances, all in a beautiful setting.

When: Sept. 22 Where: Richardson Nature Center, Bloomington Cost: Advance tickets are required and cost $9 — or $7 at North Face stores in Edina, Minneapolis and St. Paul (cash only). Info: threeriversparks.org/ partyintheprairie

SPECIAL GRANDPARENTS EDITION! AUG. 31

SEPT. 5–9

→ Join a community sing-along, followed by prizes for the best costume and then, at dusk, sing along to a screening of the famous film.

→ Celebrate the courage of a town that defied the James-Younger Gang (and won!) with authentic bank raid re-enactments (featuring horses and lots of shooting). Other festivities include a professional rodeo, a fine art festival, car shows, parades, live music and food.

WIZARD OF OZ SING-ALONG

When: Aug. 31 Where: Lake Harriet Bandshell, Minneapolis Cost: FREE Info: vocalessence.org

SEPT. 5–8

DEFEAT OF JESSE JAMES DAYS

When: Sept. 5–9 Where: Northfield Cost: FREE Info: djjd.org

BURNSVILLE FIRE MUSTER

SEPT. 8

→ Over a four-day stretch, this community celebration features entertainment, fireworks, carnival rides, kids activities, demonstrations, food and beverages from local restaurants, and, of course, the fire truck and community parade that started it all.

→ Honor the iconic butterfly’s amazing 2,300-mile migration from Minnesota to the mountains of Mexico with live music, a parade, dance performances, art activities and games conducted in Spanish and English, plus Minnesotan and Latin food.

When: Sept. 5–8 Where: Burnsville Cost: FREE Info: burnsvillefiremuster.org 46 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

MONARCH FESTIVAL

When: Sept. 8 Where: Lake Nokomis, Minneapolis Cost: FREE Info: monarchfestival.org

SEPT. 15

LANTERN LIGHTING CELEBRATION → This family-friendly event offers an opportunity for people to celebrate the lives of deceased loved ones by decorating a floating lantern in their memory. At dusk, attendees gather to release their candlelit lanterns onto Lakewood’s 8-acre lake, while the names of loved ones are read aloud. Throughout the event, guests can enjoy live music, food and refreshments and take self-guided tours of the cemetery via Lakewood’s mobile app. When: Sept. 15 Where: Lakewood Cemetery Cost: $5, which covers the use of one lantern and the art supplies to decorate it. Info: lakewoodcemetery.org

WILD RICE FESTIVAL → Celebrate wild rice and Native American culture at this annual gathering, featuring activities, educational presentations, engaging exhibits and food trucks.


When: Sept. 15 Where: Harriet Alexander Nature Center, Roseville Cost: FREE Info: wildricefestival.org

MODEL RAILROAD SHOW →→View a variety of miniature railroads, including the Twin City Model Railroad Museum’s traveling Thomas the Tank Engine layout, which can be operated by little engineers of all ages. When: Sept. 15 Where: Education Building, Minnesota State Fairgrounds, St. Paul Cost: $6 for adults and free for ages 7 and younger Info: tcmrm.org

SEPT. 16–17

HOMES BY ARCHITECTS TOUR →→This self-guided AIA Minnesota event showcases 16 newly constructed and remodeled residences in the Twin Cities metro area. When: Sept. 16–17 Where: Twin Cities Cost: $15–$20 Info: homesbyarchitects.org

SEPT. 22

MUSEUM DAY LIVE! →→Smithsonian magazine’s annual event includes free admission to many museums nationwide, including 11 Minnesota destinations, such as The Works in Bloomington and the Minnesota History Center in St. Paul. When: Sept. 22 Where: Minnesota Cost: FREE. Downloadable tickets, good for two people each, are required. Info: smithsonianmag.com/museumday

MORE ONLINE! Find more events on the Minnesota Good Age website at mngoodage.com.

Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / 47


Brain teasers SUDOKU

WORD SEARCH 50 YEARS AGO

AFROCENTRISM BEATLES BONANZA BREZHNEV BULLITT CZECHOSLOVAKIA FEMINISM

CRYPTOGRAM Break the code to reveal a quote from a famous person. Each letter represents another letter.

B R

B E

R S T K

R A S R

Clue: R = T

Y C R

F A S R

R A K H

S F S H

X U C V

H C J

L C J Y R E

, ,

B R

O

N

A

S

S

I

S

P

T

A

J

N

P

U

I

M

S

I

R

T

N

E

C

O

R

F

A

D

F

R

C

G

K

E

N

N

E

D

Y

W

K

M

D

B

O

C

N

A

B

U

L

L

I

T

T

F

S

A

O

L

A

I

V

R

S

R

N

Q

R

L

J

I

T

M

H

R

K

O

E

F

E

O

N

O

X

I

N

K

V

X

T

I

L

T

I

U

S

W U

A

Q

I

A

V

U

H

V

S

V

Q

V

N

E

B

V

L

M

Z

A

S

Y

V

O

D

V

E

H

K

L

L

O

E

N

D

P

T

V

H

R

P

N

O

D

E

T

P

F

A

F

B

U

I

C

P

I

H

J

B

S

L

A

A

N

C

P

I

E

E

Y

R

Z

R

X

I

N

O

E

O

Q

I

G

T

Z

Q

L

E

V

A

N

D

E

R

B

C

F

S

N

C

Y

W

R

A

E

L

C

U

N

Q

B

O

N

A

D

A

P

B

A

M

Y

J

P

J

V

L

E

H

M

C

P

C W

A

L

L

A

C

E

R

R

T

WORD SCRAMBLE Complete the following words using each given letter once.

E

E G

H C J

O C

F A S R

H C J

A S W K

O N

G M

IG W

O

Y T

PO K

L A

L

F B R A

P K X R

48 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

TRIVIA 1. Martin Luther King Jr. 2. Planet of the Apes 3. Dayton’s Oak Grill

F A S R

NUCLEAR ONASSIS STEPPENWOLF TROUBLES VIETNAM VIKINGS WALLACE

ANSWERS

Source: Hubert Humphrey

GARFUNKEL JOHNSON KENNEDY KILLEBREW LEVANDER MCCARTHY NIXON


TRIVIA 1968 1. Who was assassinated by James Earl Ray on April 4, 1968? 2. What 1968 sci-fi film inspired sequels with titles that began “Beneath the,” “Escape from the,” “Conquest of the,” and “Battle for the”? 3. What Minneapolis restaurant was the site of a 1968 protest in which two dozen women believed they would be refused service because they weren’t accompanied by men? Sources: history.com, imdb.com, mnhs.org

SUDOKU WORD SCRAMBLE Mekong, Twiggy, Apollo CROSSWORD

ANSWERS Science Museum of MN GA 0918 2-3.indd 1

8/13/18 2:09 Minnesota Good Age / September 2018 / PM 49

CRYTPOGRAM It is not what they take away from you that counts. It’s what you do with what you have left.


Crossword

64 Stuns in an arrest 65 Legend 66 Hawaiian root

DOWN

ACROSS

1 Chowder bit 5 Conversation 9 Chopped cabbage sides 14 Tree with needles 15 Mine, in Metz 16 Bounce off the wall 17 Online site for making a will 19 Wagner work 20 Not kidding 21 Wards (off) 22 System of connected PCs 23 Ironic exclamation before an unsurprising announcement 26 __-di-dah: pretentious 28 Suffix with violin 30 “__ a Sin”: Pet Shop Boys hit 31 Fashion’s Versace 50 / September 2018 / Minnesota Good Age

33 __-pitch 34 Coif for the prom 38 Fills (someone) in about the latest developments 41 Flat to change, in Chelsea 42 Attempt 43 Profited 44 Some fridges 45 Coop layer 46 Online chats, briefly 47 All people, with “the” 52 Airer of old quiz show reruns, for short 54 San Antonio mission 55 Placate 58 Doodle on the guitar 59 Hollywood pre-award speculation 61 Get up 62 Summer weather word 63 Muffin spread

1 NCO below sgt. 2 False statements 3 Thin spaghetti 4 Anne who teamed with Stiller 5 Starbucks tea brand 6 Total up (to) 7 Running free 8 “Lil’” rapper 9 Pooh-poohs, with “at” 10 Boutonniere site 11 Sports stadium 12 Lexicographer’s love 13 Huge hit 18 Every cloud’s silver feature? 24 Go limp 25 Moe or Curly, e.g. 26 Rainbow flag letters 27 Well-ventilated 29 Anne Brontë, to Emily 32 Opposite of SSW 33 One of many in TV’s “The Americans” 34 AP competitor 35 Florida, mostly 36 Consider to be 37 Pre-Kentucky Derby postings 39 Heavenly bear 40 Birth control activist Margaret 44 Pointy-hatted garden figures 45 Jazz music fan 47 Attacks 48 Michelob diet beer 49 He broke Ruth’s home run record 50 Get a guffaw from 51 “... mighty __ has struck out” 53 Wooden shoe 56 Way in the woods 57 Weizman of Israel 59 Unit of resistance 60 Animal house


Get vaccinated today Get vaccinated today Flu, shingles and pneumonia have serious Flu, shingles and have serious consequences, but pneumonia getting vaccinated can help consequences, but getting vaccinated are can help keep you healthy. Most immunizations keep youwithout healthy.aMost immunizations are available prescription. available without a prescription.

Talk to your pharmacist today. Talk to your pharmacist today. Vaccines subject to availability. State-, age- and health-related restrictions may apply. Vaccines subject to availability. State-, age- and health-related restrictions may apply.



Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.