METROSOURCE - DEC23/JAN24

IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY®

This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY® and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.

(bik-TAR-vee)

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including:  Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. Your healthcare provider will test you for HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking BIKTARVY. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months, and may give you HBV medicine.

BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including:  Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section.  Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that may have been hidden in your body. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking BIKTARVY.  Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY.  Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat.  Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain.  The most common side effects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (6%), and headache (5%).

These are not all the possible side effects of BIKTARVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with BIKTARVY.

ABOUT BIKTARVY BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults and children who weigh at least 55 pounds. It can either be used in people who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements.

BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS. Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains:  dofetilide  rifampin  any other medicines to treat HIV-1

BEFORE TAKING BIKTARVY Tell your healthcare provider if you:  Have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection.  Have any other health problems.  Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby.

Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking BIKTARVY.  Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed.

Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take:  Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-thecounter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.  BIKTARVY and other medicines may affect each other.

Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines.

HOW TO TAKE BIKTARVY Take BIKTARVY 1 time each day with or without food.

GET MORE INFORMATION  This is only a brief summary of important information

about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more.  Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5.  If you need help paying for your medicine, visit BIKTARVY.com for program information.

BIKTARVY, the BIKTARVY Logo, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, and KEEP BEING YOU are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. © 2023 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. US-BVYC-0250 04/23

#1 PRESCRIBED

HIV TREATMENT* *Source: IQVIA NPA Weekly, 04/19/2019 through 01/20/2023.

ELIAS SWITCHED TO BIKTARVY Listen to REAL STORIES being told by REAL VOICES.

No matter where life takes you,

Because HIV doesn’t change who you are.

BIKTARVY® is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in certain adults. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

Ask your healthcare provider if BIKTARVY is right for you.

Person featured takes BIKTARVY and is compensated by Gilead.

Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, including important warnings, on the previous page and at BIKTARVY.com.

BELLS ARE RINGING

VIEWS

EDITOR’S LETTER

– FOR FUN AND ADVOCACY! AS I’M SITTING TO WRITE MY HOLIDAY ISSUE

Our cover story features one such up-and-

MESSAGE TO YOU, I’M FILLED WITH THE

coming gay actor, comic, writer, podcaster and

SPIRIT OF THE SEASON. Thanks to my husband,

now recording artist Matt Rogers, recently

my house is festively decorated with bright

crowned “The Prince of Christmas,” who has

red poinsettias and holiday lights. The scent

just released a soon-to-be-classic holiday album

of a savory stew is wafting in the air and the

Have Your Heard of Christmas? We have the inside

sounds of Mariah Carey, at least in my book the

story of the rise of this artist in this issue.

undisputed Queen of Christmas, is playing in the background.

LGBTQ+ trailblazer Melissa Etheridge has just concluded a 9-week limited engagement on

Recently, I participated in one of the last

Broadway with her one-woman show Melissa

major Pride events of the year in Palm Springs,

Etheridge: My Window of storytelling and song

California. It was three days of fun, love, and

which the Washington Post noted that she“gave

camaraderie, showcasing our fabulous current

fans a piece of her heart.” Read more about this

and past Drag Queens to honor and celebrate

as well as her new no-holds-barred book Talk-

freedom of expression in all forms. The theme

ing to My Angels plus a peek at her upcoming

of this year’s Palm Springs Pride was Drag Now,

aspirations.

Drag Forever.

Oscar-winning writer Ron Nyswaner (Phila-

The year 2023 has been a record-breaker

delphia) is telling authentic and engaging stories

for anti-LGBTQ legislation across the US. The

in Showtime’s Fellow Travelers as a producer

Transgender community has come under fire,

of this steamy gay love story beginning in a

and according to Trans Legislation Tracker, 85

McCarthy-era backdrop where everything was

anti-trans bills have passed so far this year.

at risk. Nyswaner shares some insights on our

Many states have taken aim at restricting

community’s Hollywood representation in our

gender affirming care for minors, limiting sports

revealing interview.

participation, overriding a student’s preferred

Author Daryl McCollough tackles some

pronouns, banning books, banning drag shows,

sensitive and important topics in his books The

and the list goes on.

Story of Tree and Cloud and Chubby the Bear’s Big

On the bright side, level heads have prevailed

Choice. He divulges personal stories that lead to

in many cases and 125 anti-trans bills have failed

his unique perspectives on death, bullying and

so far in 2023. The mainstream media coverage

body positivity in our feature.

has been non-stop, and the national arguments

In addition to our annual Holiday Gift Guide,

are playing out on cable news. It’s heartening to

we’ve provided some top-notch lux spa “dayca-

see allies speaking up, but we need our whole

tion” options in our Los Angeles edition as well

community to get involved and speak with

as the latest Broadway happenings and nightlife

our local elected officials. Let them know you

events in our New York edition.

oppose any anti-trans legislation. I encourage

Each year, our team of writers, editors,

you to check out www.TransLegislation.com and

designers, and advertisers at Metrosource collec-

click on your home state to educate yourself on

tively give our sincere thanks to you, our readers.

pending bills that you can influence. Let’s be a

We’ve appreciated your support throughout

united voice.

2023, and look forward to 2024 together.

While we need to keep up the fight, we can also celebrate the acceptance and representation we’re now enjoying in mainstream entertainment.

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PUBLISHER Bent Share Entertainment, LLC EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Michael Westman COPY EDITOR James Delyea CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cesar A Reyes MARKETING DIRECTOR Christopher Jackson FEATURE WRITER Alexander Rodriguez CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Ben Rimalower

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Reproduction of any article, listing or advertisement without the written permission of the publisher is strictly prohibited. The people, businesses and organizations appearing in Metrosource are supportive of the gay community. Mention of any person, business or organization is not a reflection of their sexual orientation. ©2023 Bent Share Entertainment, LLC. Advertisers in Metrosource acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for same as advertised. Metrosource assumes no responsibility or liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers. The appearance of any person, model, business or organization in this publication, by name, advertisement or photograph is not an indication of sexual orientation.

Advertisers and their agencies assume all responsibility and legal liability for the content of their advertisements in Metrosource. Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials.

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Content may only be reproduced with written permission from Bent Share Entertainment, LLC. Metrosource assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserve the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.

Happy Holidays! @metrosource @MetrosourceMagazine @metrosourcemag

METROSOURCE.COM

December 2023 / January 2024 | VOLUME 34, NO. 6

CONTENTS

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THIS PAGE: MATT ROGERS PHOTO BY JEN ROSENSTEIN • PHOTO COURTESY OF DARYL MCCULLOUGH • RON NYSWANER PHOTO BY PETER YANG • MELISSA ETHERIDGE PHOTO BY LAUREN DUKOFF

16 40 10

S ENSITIVE SUBJECTS

DARYL MCCULLOUGH

16 MATT ROGERS THE PRINCE OF CHRISTMAS

34

F ELLOW TRAVELERS’

34 COVER: Matt Rogers Photography by: Jen Rosenstein

RON NYSWANER SMALLTOWN OUTSIDER TO TINSELTOWN INSIDER

40 MELISSA ETHERIDGE TALKING TO MY ANGELS METROSOURCE.COM

DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

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DEPARTMENTS

December 2023 / January 2024 | VOLUME 34, NO. 6

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46 CULTURE 7 THE SCOPE From the Art of Billy Porter’s

Black Mona Lisa to the Return of Canada’s Drag Race, and an Art Exhibit Featuring the Complications of Queer and Trans Domestic Life

HOLIDAYS 28 2023 HOLIDAY GIFT IDEAS

From the Luxurious to the Practical

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METROSOURCE.COM

TRAVEL 22 CATALONIA An Intersection of Cultures and Influences

46 Paradise Found on the

AMALFI COAST

VIEWS 4 EDITOR’S LETTER Bells are Ringing – for Fun and Advocacy!

THIS PAGE: PHOTO COURTESY PIECAKEN • CATALONIA COURTESY PHOTO • PHOTO COURESY OF ANANTARA CONVENTO DI AMALFI GRAND HOTEL

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CURATED BY MICHAEL WESTMAN

BILLY PORTER BLACK MONA LISA

THESCOPE

LISTEN

billyporter.lnk.to/BML

BILLY PORTER COMMENTS ON THE NEW ALBUM, “SO MANY OF THE SONGS ON MY ALBUM HAVE A VERY SIMILAR THEME - GETTING TO A PLACE OF RECOGNIZING YOUR OWN WORTH AND CELEBRATING

CULTURE

you are, and the world will try to decide if you matter. No outside force or entity gets to decide that. Black Mona Lisa, the song, is the pinnacle of everything on the album, hence also being the name of the album. We do not need your tolerance, but we do demand your respect.

Knowing your self-worth, your value, being able to stand firmly in your authentic self, those things are worth more than gold, and you will pay me as such.”

Black Mona Lisa the album boasts the title track“Black Mona Lisa”and features fan favorite singles “Baby Was A Dancer,”“Stranger Things,” “Fashion,”“Broke A Sweat,” and most recently released “Children (What Time It Is)” feat. Lady Blackbird.

“Billy is one of the great talents of our generation,” says Justin Tranter, executive producer of Black Mona Lisa. “Helping bring his story to life through music was a true honor. The second we wrote the song Black Mona Lisa I knew we stumbled on one of those magic moments that we live for as songwriters. I’m so excited the world finally gets to hear it.”

Earlier this year, Billy Porter wrapped the 25-city nationwide tour, THE BLACK MONA LISA TOUR: VOLUME 1. The show was hugely successful with both fans and critics alike. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel wrote: “Stunning” and “one-of-a-kind,” a “rare kind of performance” with “above all else, transcendent joy.”

A Grammy, Emmy, and two-time Tony Award winner, Porter began his music career in 1997 with the release of his self-titled (aka Untitled) debut album which spawned the Top 10“Bubbling Under”single,“Show Me,”and the monster ballad, “Love Is On The Way,” which also appeared at the pivotal moment in the film, First Wives Club. Porter scored his first #1 with “Love Yourself” in 2019 on the US Dance Club Songs Chart. He followed that up with his

THESCOPE

YOURSELF. The world will try to tell you who

2020 reimagining of the legendary Buffalo Springfield anthem, “For What It’s Worth,” and a fierce collab with The Shapeshifters on “Finally Ready.”

2021 saw Porter covering Juliet Roberts club classic “Caught in The Middle”for Red Hot + Free, which supports underserved communities afflicted with HIV/AIDS. He was also enlisted by multiplatinum

international superstar Jessie J for “I Want Love.”

And he delivered a magical turn on Earth, Wind, and Fire’s iconic “Shining Star” as Fab G, the Fairy Godmuva, in the 2021 remake of “Cinderella.”

Time Magazine named him one of the “100 Most Influential People” of 2020. Billy kicks off his next chapter in music with Black Mona Lisa.

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CANADA’S DRAG RACE SEASON 4 WATCH announced the 11 lovely queens competing for the crown on season 4 of Canada’s Drag Race and they are: Aimee Yonce Shennel, Aurora Matrix, Denim, Kiki Coe, Kitten Kaboodle, Luna DuBois, Melinda Verga, Nearah Nuff, Sisi Superstar, The Girlfriend Experience, and Venus. Watch Thursdays at 9pm EST on WOW Presents Plus.

The nine-episode season premiered November 16th and is serving more unforgettable runway looks, lip-sync slay offs, a killer snatch game, a sickening Rusical, and includes some new game-changing, competition twists that will have fans gooped and gagged. Queen of the North Brooke Lynn Hytes, celebrity stylist and TV personality Brad Goreski, and ETALK senior correspondent Traci Melchor return as resident judges, and are once again joined by guest judges and special guests throughout the season.

Competing for the title of Canada’s Next Drag Superstar, and a $100,000 grand prize, each episode tests the queens’ limits by having them compete in singing, dancing, acting, impersonation, design, and improvisation challenges. Competitors are eliminated until one queen is left standing with the crown, scepter, and coveted title. Throughout their journey to the crown, the queens showcase the importance of celebrating everyone’s “Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent”.

SANTA’S SECRET

CULTURE

THESCOPE

WHO WILL BE THE NEXT QUEEN OF THE NORTH, EH? World of Wonder

HUDSON YARDS PUBLIC SQUARE & GARDENS 250 11TH AVE, NYC

EXPERIENCE THE BEVERLY CENTER 8500 BEVERLY BLVD, LA THE NEWEST AND NAUGHTIEST IMMERSIVE HOLIDAY SPECTACLE HITS NYC AND LA.

Indulge in a sultry yuletide soirée filled with cocktails, live music, variety acts, and eight immersive installations leading to Santa’s secret speakeasy.

Santa’s Secret, heralded as the best elfin holiday experience this side of the North Pole, invites adults on a two-hour immersive journey of revelry and unexpected delights, with ticket prices starting at $58 on select nights.“Christmas isn’t just for kids,” says the show’s producer, Brandon Voss of Voss Events. “Santa’s Secret is a one-of-a-kind experience where adults can get a little naughty this holiday season. The show has been one of the most sought-after holiday tickets in New York over the past three years and we believe Angelenos will find it equally irresistible.”

Upon entering, visitors will journey down a winding path through eight immersive holiday installations, where they’ll encounter dancing Nutcrackers, sultry gingerbread ladies, rugged lumberjacks, life-sized Barbie and Ken, and a regal ice queen nestled within a life-sized snow globe. The journey culminates in the unveiling of Santa’s best-kept secret: a vintage speakeasy aglow with the sounds of a five-piece band and the flavors of divine holiday-themed libations. Here, guests will be entertained by an array of dazzling performances. From exquisite ballet to sultry burlesque, an avant-garde X-Mas Barbie extravaganza, and more, each unique act promises to unveil Santa’s wildest secrets, with the spectacular Drag queen superstar, Asia O’Hara from RuPaul’s Drag Race, presiding as host.

For additional details on Santa’s Secret and to stay up to date with the latest news, please visit www.santassecret.com.

photo courtesy of Santa’s Secret

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DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

METROSOURCE.COM

300,000 KISSES:

READ

TALES OF QUEER LOVE FROM THE ANCIENT WORLD

BY LUKE EDWARD HALL AND SEÁN HEWITT A LANDMARK ILLUSTRATED ANTHOLOGY OF QUEER GREEK AND ROMAN LOVE STORIES that reclaim and celebrate homosexual love and sensuality, from

artist Luke Edward Hall and award-winning poet Seán Hewitt.

For centuries, evidence of queer love in the ancient world has either been ignored or suppressed. Even today, only a few narratives are widely known: the wild romance of Achilles and Patroclus; the yearning love of Sappho’s lyrics; and the three genders introduced in Plato’s Symposium.Yet there is a rich literary tradition of queer Greek and Roman love that extends far beyond the prudish translations of these familiar handful of stories.

In 300,000 Kisses, award-winning poet Seán Hewitt and renowned designer Luke Edward Hall collect these stories--including some of the most beautiful and moving in the classical canon--and bring them to vivid life. Alongside celebrated works by Homer, Sappho, Ovid and Catullus, they include a wide range of rarely anthologized sources: raunchy poems, thoughtful dialogues, philosophical treatises, and even a graffiti text salvaged from the ruins of Pompeii.

Through Hewitt’s contemporary translations and Hall’s vibrant illustrations, we encounter relationships that are by turns heartfelt and nourishing, unrequited and lustful, toxic and crude, tender and fulfilling. A groundbreaking anthology that seeks to change the way we see the ancient world, 300,000 Kisses is a fascinating journey through love in all its forms.

LESLIE-LOHMAN MUSEUM OF ART 26 WOOSTER ST, NYC LESLIELOHMAN.ORG

VISIT

DREAMING OF HOME (NOW THROUGH JANUARY 7, 2024) DREAMING OF HOME BRINGS TOGETHER TWENTY CONTEMPORARY ARTISTS WHOSE WORK INVOKES THE COMFORTS AND COMPLICATIONS OF QUEER AND TRANS DOMESTIC LIFE ACROSS INTERNATIONAL AND INTERGENERATIONAL PERSPECTIVES. The exhibition springboards from Catherine Opie’s seminal

image Self-Portrait/Cutting (1993), which viscerally highlights the dissonances experienced by queer people, whose desire to live and thrive routinely faces brutal restrictions, and for whom society’s idealization of nuclear family is painfully, somatically borne. In the thirty years since Opie made this photograph, LGBTQIA+ people have experienced rapid and tumultuous legal and social shifts in the United States and globally, demonstrating that, in most geographic and cultural contexts, the questions posed by Opie’s work remain relevant and urgent. Where can we feel at home in our skin, in each other’s embrace, amongst our chosen families? Where are our queer and trans bodies safe, housed, and free to be themselves? Following in Opie’s footsteps, each artist centralizes the queer body in their work, carving space for themselves and their kin to live and thrive.

Participating artists: Shadi Al-Atallah, Leilah Babirye, Danielle Brathwaite-Shirley, Whiskey Chow, Zackary Drucker and Amos Mac, Nicole Eisenman, Sarah Francis, Jenna Gribbon, Kudzanai-Violet Hwami, Clifford Prince King, Rene Matić, Sola Olulode, Catherine Opie, Laurence Philomene, Charmaine Poh, Christina Quarles, Ro Roberston, Chiffon Thomas, and Cajsa von Zeipel.

photo by Zackary Drucker/Amos Mac

The exhibition is accompanied by a limited series podcast, Dreaming of Home. Prioritizing artist-centered dialogues, the series dives into the themes of queer home with featured artists in the group exhibition, including Catherine Opie, Jenna Gribbon, Christina Quarles, and Rene Matić, in conversation with Rolls-Bentley and Museum art workers.

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DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

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THIS PAGE : PHOTO BY HALDANE MORRIS

THE SPIRIT LIVES ON WHEN THE BODY LEAVES – IT HAS TO.”

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METROSOURCE.COM

SENSITIVE SUBJECTS

DARYL MCCULLOUGH

BY ALEXANDER RODRIGUEZ

GRIEF IS THE MOST TRAUMATIC, UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE OF ONE’S LIFETIME. Whether it is grief at the loss of a pet, a breakup, or the passing of a loved one, we will

experience it at some point in our lives. No matter what tribe we subscribe to or what beliefs we have, no one is free from it. And while grief is so ubiquitous, it is still a subject that is not easily talked about, and going through it can often be a lonely experience. No one really knows what to say to someone going through loss, and often, those going through grieving find it hard to put into words what they need. There is no right way to grieve, there is no timeline for when grieving becomes manageable. While universal, it is unique for everyone. While dealing with the recent loss of my mother, a chance meeting with a kind soul would prove that indeed, there is a kind of beauty that can be found in grief, and that positive things can come from going through it. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

The kind soul I met is an author by happenstance, Daryl McCullough, whose debut book, The Story of Tree and Cloud, is a metaphorical tale about nature, offering insight into the mysteries of life, chance, and death, and intended for young audiences. Beautifully and lovingly illustrated by Daryl’s aunt Maryanne Smith, it tells the tale of an old oak tree named Folie who befriends a puddle of water, aptly named Puddle. The two forces of nature forge a loving friendship. As the weather changes, it is clear that Puddle will someday be gone. The story goes on to explain the ways of nature, how things change, how life is a beautiful cycle, and that the idea of death is just saying goodbye to the form that we know and love. There is beauty in death, as it challenges us to appreciate the life and love we have known.

Folie says it best, “When someone we love leaves us, that person’s beautiful spirit lives on within us, alongside us, and in the atmosphere around us. We just have to look for signs and listen carefully, because that spirit is always with us.”

As with all powerful children’s books, the result is bittersweet. It is innocently presented, tearfully

understood, and beautifully put. Fate seemed to intervene in Daryl’s life to inspire him to write The Story of Tree and Cloud. Daryl’s mother had been very ill, fighting cancer twice, and dealing with multiple heart surgeries, and other debilitating auto-immune diseases. Extremely close, Daryl would travel back East from the West Coast, living there several months at a time, to be by his mother’s side. Though she lived well beyond what was expected, her passing was inevitable. Inevitable, too, was his book.

I was holding my mother’s hand when she drew her last breath. Dad was holding her head, singing to her. I could not shake those images for the longest time, but I later realized that was also a gift – one that my other siblings didn’t get to have. Mother passed with her loving husband of 62 years and her baby holding her hand. I knew that meant a peaceful rest despite all the pain and suffering she went through. Knowing her entire loving family surrounded her in her final days is comforting. After she died, I was upstairs in my childhood bedroom

going through my desk drawers, where my mother had left a stack of items and memorabilia. On top was a painted plaque that read, “Fear not, I am with thee.”And directly underneath that sign was a school assignment I had done in junior high. It was a hand-drawn picture storybook I had written for English class. The assignment was to write an extended metaphor or parable about something, and I chose death since I was grappling with my cousin’s death at the time.

I was very moved that my mother was so thoughtful to have saved that for 40+ years.

And she took the care – during her weakest times – to leave those mementos for me was quite a message. I knew then and there that I needed to do something about that story.

It took me five years to get it rewritten, illustrated by my wonderfully talented Aunt Maryanne, and published. But that Christmas, on the 5th anniversary of her death, I could give that book to family and friends.

It truly meant the world to me.

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Illustrations by Maryanne Smith

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When most junior high school kids were writing about superheroes or video games, Daryl was writing about loss.

I’ve said it was not merely an assignment; it became my self-soothing after losing my cousin Scott to suicide. I struggled to process my pain, and I was keenly aware of the pain my surviving cousins, aunt, and uncle were processing. It was a dark time; people were often ashamed to talk about suicide. Also, there were seemingly no real tools available to me then.

Luckily, that English class was there as an outlet.

What was it like for Daryl, returning to a story from his youth out of grief and reworking it while dealing with a new level of grief as an adult?

It was a catharsis for me. To be able to pivot from loss to the idea of creating something special was very helpful to my psyche. While working on the project, I told myself and Maryanne I don’t know how many books we will sell, but if it touches just one person and helps them, I will be happy. I know it has touched many more people so far. The messages and responses have been tremendously heartwarming.

The Story of Tree and Cloud is presented as a children’s book. I have read it multiple times (and continue to do so) while dealing with my own, intense grief. Where religion and selfhelp books try and over-explain death and the grieving process, this book is inspirational in its simplicity. There is a comfort in going back to story time. Daryl’s intent in writing the book was to make it universal, though realizing our youth are experiencing their own forms of grief.

I believe the story is not just for children but for anyone struggling with what can seem like an arbitrary and cruel circle of life. However, school-age kids today are growing up in an era of mass school shootings and the crisis that is social media; I believe they can and need to understand the notion of loss and subsequent grief.

Death and dying are a natural part of life, and processing the feelings associated with loss can be complicated for a young child. But I hope this gentle metaphor of a friendly tree, puddle, and cloud is one of the kinder ways to help with that process. After the mass shooting last year, I sent about a dozen copies of the book to the Uvalde, Texas, public library. The METROSOURCE.COM

DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

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librarian called me to thank me, saying they got thousands of book donations literally, but as far as she knew, mine was the only written for the children dealing with grief.

Being by his mother’s side would change Daryl’s outlook on life. His experience and writing his debut book would shift his life focus.

My instincts to drop everything and be there were completely right. I am so glad I had the final days – as hard as they were – together with her. I didn’t have that same fortune with my dad, who died on Valentine’s Day last year. I know both Mother and Dad lived full lives with very few regrets. They raised a large, loving family and were pillars of their community. Mother’s illness and difficult final years showed me that we are not guaranteed anything in life. We must try to leave nothing on the table and leave no good deed undone. Several years ago, I explored my “personal brand” and landed on “Pay the power of family forward!” I may not have a large family like my parents, but I am

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blessed to have a big family on both sides of my marriage. We can and should choose to positively impact our loved ones and our community, even or especially those who haven’t been as fortunate.

In terms of life after death, I now have more peace with the concept as an adult. I grew up in a Christian family who attended church regularly, but religion did not consume our family. My husband is Jewish and would describe his upbringing similarly. We are spiritual, though, praying before meals and at bedtime. We believe wholeheartedly that the spirit lives on when the body leaves – it has to. Humanity is far more complex than just cellular physical beings.

The Story of Tree and Cloud is truly a family affair. Daryl’s aunt, his mother’s sister, Maryanne Smith has created the world of Daryl’s story in a beautiful and thought-provoking style. Her illustrations capture the essence of Daryl’s characters while allowing the reader to imagine and create the finite details of Folie and Puddle.

My aunt and I have been very close

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since childhood. She was a lifelong artist and painter; her home was a creative, safe space for me. I would spend hours on end as a child playing with my cousin and making crafts, fun houses, and more. We discussed this project only once before she agreed to do the illustrations. She painted nature in all its stunning glory, and we knew that we wanted these illustrations to be naturebased, not cartoons or caricatures. When I reworked the initial book, she took the manuscript and got to work – she painted several major pieces to help illustrate the story. Her illustrations are so beloved that we created a companion coloring book for kids and families, available to download for free on the book website www.thestoryoftreeandcloud.com. Readers love her style and creations.

With the joy and success of The Story of Tree and Cloud, the two have more stories to tell. Their latest book deals with body positivity as experienced by bears in the wild.

Maryanne and I have completed Chubby the Bear’s Big Choice (now available on Amazon). I grew up as a fat, gay kid and was teased regularly by bullies. I wanted to focus this next project on the issue of body shaming and other pain caused too often by bullies. Only recently have we as a culture started talking about these important issues – it is sad that we still find it novel and a bit awkward to discuss ideas like “size inclusivity” and “fat-shaming.” I hope this book can chip away at that and provide some entertaining story that inspires and teaches. If it helps just one child (or adult) feel better about themselves, embrace their body, and find their self-esteem, then it was worth it to us and our legacy.

The gentleness of his storytelling is a foil to the formidable presence he has made in the business world. With a Master of Arts in Communications Management from the University of Southern California, he has 30 years of experience in public relations and marketing communications and served as CEO for PR superhero Citizen Relationships. From the onset, he was a hard worker, and his star in the business world rose quickly. He has amassed quite a few awards and accolades.

I started working in PR as an undergrad at Albright College, where I was studying English and Communication Arts. My program required multiple PR internships. I first worked in PR for the American Cancer

PAGES 13-15 : PHOTOS COURTESY OF DARYL MCCULLOUGH

Society, later in advertising for the regional cable TV operator, and finally in-house at my college’s alums and PR office, where I was asked to fill a maternity leave. I had stumbled into that big job opportunity upon graduation without having any other real plans. But it worked. I stayed on to work for nearly five years as the director of alumni relations. It was a big job with lots of responsibility and growth.

My love of academia eventually led me to leave PA to start my graduate degree program in Communications Management at USC Annenberg. While completing my master’s degree, I started working in the PR agency world, first at a local, womanowned environmental and social issues PR firm (ahead of its time, really) and later as an account executive at Rogers & Cowen, a major entertainment PR agency. I was working on the Taco Bell account when I was approached by a new start-up agency inviting me to help open their LA office. It was the start of a 25+ year career at that fast-growing firm, which is now called Citizen Relations, where I would rise to president and later CEO and now global Chairman emeritus.

For Daryl, his two worlds of writing and running large corporations go hand in hand. Inspired by his early love of all things music and theater and an early career in acting, creativity is an essential tool in the office.

I think creativity is central to communications planning. I’ve been part of or led hundreds of brainstorming sessions for brands or businesses looking for the next big burst of publicity or viral marketing. I was in the room when our team developed the now famous “Taco Liberty Bell” idea, and I got to help a huge team of professionals see that massive PR stunt through to execution. That stunt – where we created an April Fool’s joke that Taco Bell bought the Liberty Bell and renamed it the Taco Liberty Bell – is so famous it has been an answer on Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, and Trivial Pursuit! And it’s been on nearly every “best/cleverest” PR Stunts of all-time list for decades.

Meeting Daryl in person is like meeting a reallife gentle giant. His imposing stature comes along with a sincere and affectionate handshake and a smile that makes you think you’ve been friends forever. His words of encouragement come from

a place of love; he truly is what his books teach.

He supports the arts fervently, and together with his husband George, can be seen at just about every musical, concert, or play, and they are just as at home hanging out in the bear community as they are at the opera. The two launched McGriffin Media, a social and digital marketing PR company, during the pandemic, and they can be seen as a real LGBTQ+ couple in a major brand commercial.

Can we say #couplegoals?

From that chubby kid in Pennsylvania to the young man afraid to come out until age 28, Daryl has certainly come into his own and enjoyed and worked hard for what life has to offer. And even with his continued success and optimistic outlook on life, he understands the power of grief and has made a way to draw light from it, not just for himself, but for the world around him.

His message to the LGBTQ community?

Be good, do your best, share your gifts (whatever they may be) with others, and pay whatever success or joy you’ve received forward. For me, it’s paying family forward, but we have our chosen families, too. And

by all means, please tell your stories. You never know who you might touch just by sharing your story.

Having gotten a sneak peek at his upcoming sophomore book Chubby the Bear’s Big Choice, he once again shows his mastery of blending the sweet innocence of youth with the struggles that we have all faced in life, beautifully showing hope and love in a story that is as captivating to children as it is as touching to adults. Hopefully, this is the storytelling of the future where diversity and inclusivity are celebrated and not just a tale.

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Follow Daryl on IG: @Daryl_Mc The Story of Tree and Cloud and Chubby the Bear’s Big Choice are available on Amazon.

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THE PRINCE OF CHRISTMAS

MATT

ROGERS

BY ALEXANDER RODRIGUEZ

MOVE OVER CHER, THERE’S A NEW HOLIDAY ALBUM ON THE SCENE. One of

THIS PAGE : PHOTO BY JEN ROSENSTEIN

our favorite breakout stars and sassy pants, Matt Rogers, dropped his debut album Have You Heard of Christmas? which has earned him the title “The Prince of Christmas.”With him being crowned Prince, does that make Cher Queen of Christmas with her new album? Matt was quick to correct.

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CHRISTMAS CAN BE ANYTHING. EVEN SLUTTY!”

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Let’s get it straight: Mariah is the Queen of Christmas. Cher is like a Christmas Auntie. She’s new to this. Mariah is true to this. With all due! I will say, I absolutely love Cher’s “DJ Play a Christmas Song,” and Leland [Matt’s producer] actually cowrote that as well! When we were doing my album, I got to hear that song early. And I was like, “If she ends up not wanting that song, I do.” But she wanted it.

Based on his critically acclaimed Showtime special by the same name, the album features additional mixes and guest appearances by his buddy BowenYang, MUNA,Vincint, and music impresario Leland. This is not your grandmother’s Christmas album. Though there is sincerity at its core and often an homage to the albums of yesteryear, it has a tongue-in-cheek delivery that is undeniably Matt with songs like “Lube for the Sleigh,” “Hottest Female Up in Whoville,” and “God’s Up

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to His Tricks!”There are dance tracks, ballads, and Mariah-type anthems, everything you’d want in a gay Christmas for the whole family.

I think what I love most is that it’s musically and comedically eclectic. It’s all Christmas, but it’s every genre. If you didn’t think, like, a dirty trap club song could be a Christmas record, I have news for you … listen to my song “RUM PUM PUM.” Christmas can be anything. Even slutty!

The decision to make a holiday album as his debut recording was an easy one.

Christmas is just so overwhelming in positive and negative ways! Of course, the energy of togetherness, giving, family, friendship and joy, are all wonderful themes. But it’s also a holiday and a whole season that is very much about money. And then there is a religious aspect that it seems like most of the world ignores. There’s also

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a whole cast of Christmas characters that really have nothing to do with that religious aspect. So, in that respect, there is just so much to say about it all. Or sing about it all, as it were. The concept of a Christmas album is, on the surface, so pure, but is actually so baldly capitalist and bottomline driven. I can’t help but think it’s all just funny. That made me want to do this.

In fact, Christmas is partly responsible for Matt’s sexual awakening.

One of the best memories I’ve ever had was the gift of receiving tickets to my first concert when I was 10. Funny enough, it was to Mariah Carey. I absolutely freaked out. I should have just come out as gay right there. No need to wait until I was 19. It was the Rainbow Tour at Madison Square Garden. It was incredible. She came out in a sailor outfit to perform “Honey” and she

THIS PAGE : PHOTO BY SCOTT GRIES/SHOWTIME

I JUST HAPPEN TO BE A PART OF A MOMENT WHERE WE’RE BEING RECOGNIZED.”

asked the crowd, “Do you like the ensemble?” I roared in approval. So iconic. She is the bar in all ways. So that was a joyous Christmas moment for me. Best and gayest gift ever. Thanks, mom and dad!

Have You Heard of Christmas? is released by Capitol Records, the iconic label responsible for some of the most memorable holiday albums in history by singers such as Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra. No pressure, huh?

It’s funny, I had this whole image in my head of going into the studio and there being all these buttons and switches and knobs in front of me. But the reality is we did the entire album at Leland’s home studio in Laurel Canyon. It was very relaxing in terms of the environment. I think the first day, and the first few days honestly, were really me just learning HOW to be a recording artist. How to use my voice on

the mic. It’s really a skill. Now, after doing this, I feel like being a singer and being a recording artist are really two vastly different things. If you’re lucky, you can do both and incorporate both.

Matt’s biggest challenges in completing the album?

For me, it was stamina and just staying on top of things vocally and health-wise, because we really didn’t have much time to record this and finish the whole product.

You do several takes to get it right, and a lot of my songs aren’t easy to sing. I made it difficult for myself! We did this whole album in a little over three weeks in June and July, so it was intense. A lot of singing over and over again. Three of the songs are new, so we had to develop and write and record those, as well as adapt all of my older songs from last year’s comedy special, which were always done with just a piano, into full pop songs.

What I learned about myself is how much I loved this process. Every day recording the album was fun for me. I even love doing my own backing vocals and harmonies. It’s so fun. I got into the recording artist thing!

Fully realizing his title as a recording artist, Matt hits the road for a national tour for the album this December. Are you ready, US? Adding recording artist to his already impressive list of entertainment credits that include comedian, actor, TV host, writer, and podcaster, Matt has had quite the star jump in the last couple of years. Starting out as a staff writer for Comedy Central’s The Other Two and Netflix’s series Q Force, he and his bestie, SNL’s Bowen Yang, made a splash with their hit podcast Las

Culturistas, most recently winning iHeartRadio’s Podcast of the Year. Playing a villain of sorts in the hit gay film Fire Island, he went on to hold his own opposite Jenifer Lewis, Molly Shannon, and Vanessa Bayer in the hilarious, but short-lived, I Love That for You. He has popped up in guest spots on a myriad of shows (did you catch his Cell Block Tango in Glamorous?) and was included in Variety’s “10 Comics to Watch,”and yes, we are all watching his star quickly rise. He has gotten comfortable in the interview chair, being at home with Kelly Clarkson and Andy Cohen on their talk shows, as well as a multitude of other media outlets. The media can’t resist his charm, his down-to-earth attitude, and his snappy wit. His current success represents years of hard work, graduating from NYU, studying with the Upright Citizens Brigade, and taking whatever jobs came his way.

Five years ago, I was actually at one of my lowest points and I really wasn’t sure my career was going to go anywhere. I was deep in the throes of my “return to Saturn,” if you will, and I still hadn’t worked in the industry in a meaningful way. I’ve been really fortunate, but I will say if I could go back five years, I don’t even think I’d tell myself “Hey, don’t worry, it’s going to work out.” I think instead what I would say is, “Enjoy the fact that you have the time right now to create and figure out who you are as an artist and a comedian. Go out and be stupid and fail, because no one’s watching.”

Nowadays, it can sometimes be harder to create and try things because of who people are. I didn’t get it then, but that time of throwing things to the wall and watching them stick or NOT stick was really important. So, enjoy flopping! One day, you’ll be terrified too.

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THIS PAGE : PHOTO BY JEN ROSENSTEIN

I HOPEFULLY SET AN EXAMPLE OF JUST RADICALLY BEING YOURSELF.”

THIS PAGE : PHOTO BY JEN ROSENSTEIN

Matt is one of many from the LGBTQ community who is currently taking the spotlight in mainstream media. With the boom of openly LGBTQ actors and the increase in our community’s content and storytelling in all genres of entertainment, openly gay actors are no longer relegated to independent screenwork.

I don’t take it for granted that the generation before me didn’t have these opportunities. Maybe that’s why I say yes to so much and want to do so much. Because I’m no better than anyone who came before me, I just happen to be a part of a moment where we’re being recognized and the demand for people to see themselves and also see diversity and different kinds of people on screen and elsewhere is being answered to and catered to. I’m so inspired by everyone around me, I always have been.

I am unsurprised by the success of all my peers, and grateful for it. And if I had something to do with it, then I’m truly proud.

Now with being a GLAAD darling, talk show guest, and article-inspiring spokesperson for our community, does he feel the pressure to change his persona to best represent the gay community?

If I can give myself credit for one thing, it’s that I do a rather good job of being my authentic self and not sacrificing anything to be palatable to people who might be weirded out by the queer of it all. I hopefully set an example of just radically being yourself instead of playing someone else’s game. I tried that for a really long time and it didn’t fit me. Maybe I don’t say every little thing I think anymore, but everything else I’d like to think is pretty similar to how I’ve always been, and I’d like to think that the “10 years ago me” would be proud of me now. I know he would be, actually.

Matt has learned the definition of busy. Being pulled in a million different directions with so many new opportunities, he’s had to up his mental health game.

This was really the first year I ever really engaged with my mental health in a meaningful way. And it’s funny you mention the “busy” thing because I genuinely used to think that being busy and being successful would solve everything, or that achieving certain things and hitting certain milestones and benchmarks would lead to happiness.

It does, but it also doesn’t. I got on Lexapro this year for a reason. I went through a breakup that knocked me on my ass so badly that even months later I couldn’t get

out of bed. I tried to get through by being busy and it didn’t work. It actually made it worse. So, I asked for help and now that things are really picking up for me again, I’m not overwhelmed. I feel okay. I also love therapy. I wish I could do it every day. Life can be a lot. I love living in a time when therapy is normalized.

Even with his busy schedule, he still makes time for his ever-growing podcast. With the success that both Matt and Bowen have had, their guest list just gets more impressive, and their audience just gets that much bigger, but it still has that same sincerity and simplicity that first made it famous.

It’s not a hardship at all to make time to talk to my best friend. He happens to be my favorite person to talk to. And especially when people make clear to us just how much the podcast has meant to them over these years, it’s just so gratifying. I love everyone so much for listening, and I just want to hug them forever – but ... boundaries.

After his album tour is completed, he, in his

words, plans to do shit. Not even New Year’s Eve plans. He’s earned it after these couple of whirlwind years. His album has been greatly received, and he states that his next album will go in the complete opposite direction – maybe a heavy metal album?

As far as his New Year resolution, it’s very simple: I should probably be better with money.

Actually, I definitely should be better with money.

And his message to the community this holiday?

Hey boo, stream my album Have You Heard of Christmas? And - if you can’t love yourself how in the HELL you gonna love somebody else?

■ Stream Have You Heard of Christmas? anywhere you get music.

Hip Tip: It is also available on vinyl.

Get tickets for Matt’s tour at mattrogerscomedy.com.

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Sagrada Familia

CATALONIA AN INTERSECTION OF CULTURES AND INFLUENCES

BY MICHAEL WESTMAN OUR AEGEAN OYSSEY ON CELEBRITY REFLECTION, AS CHRONICLED IN THE LAST ISSUE OF METROSOURCE, WRAPPED UP IN ONE OF MY FAVORITE CITIES IN THE WORLD, BARCELONA, SPAIN. Barce-

lona, the capital of Catalonia, is one of Europe’s most visited cities and in terms of tolerance, openness, and live-and-let-live attitude, has surpassed Paris and Amsterdam as a center for gay living and gay culture. Gay marriage is legal and LGBTQ rights are fully protected in all of Spain. It’s a normal daily occurrence to see same sex couples walking through the city center holding hands… and no one turns to look. Now, include some of the world’s best beaches, great food and wine, and amazing sights, and you have a must-visit city.

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THIS PAGE : PHOTOS COURTESY OF ME BARCELONA

Barcelona is a melting pot of different cultures, ethnicities, and experiences from all over Europe. From the labyrinth of narrow stone streets in the historic gothic quarter, the beautiful boulevards of Las Ramblas and Passieg de Gracia, the planned areas of Eixample with its grid-like layout and courtyard gardens, the beaches of Barceloneta, and the museums and Olympic Stadium of Montjuic – this is a city that provides a feast for every sense, something to discover around every corner.

The main gay area is around Eixample or “Gay-xample”, as it is known locally. This is our first stop – at our hotel, ME Barcelona (by Melia).

This 5-star hotel is in a prime location alongside the Passieg de Gracia, and offers an authentic, personalized, and immersive experience that makes you feel like part of the city lifestyle. Each of the modern rooms and suites at ME Barcelona have their own very special personality.

Our studio suite had huge windows with a view toward Plaça Cataluña, in room jacuzzi tub, and ample comfortable space to relax. This urban oasis provided plenty of reasons to stay-in - an elegant rooftop pool, spa, fully equipped gym, garden, multiple dining and drinking options.

But venture out we must in this city waiting for exploration.

A few steps outside the front doors and you encounter the wonderful Catalan architectural gems by Antoni Gaudi, including Casa Milà and Casa Batlló. The best-known and most visited place to watch people go by, to stroll or simply relax, is ‘Las Ramblas’, a pedestrian street which leads from Plaça Cataluña down to the port. Here you will find dozens of outdoor cafes, flower stands, book and postcard kiosks and small market stalls. This is also where you will see the fascinating spectacle of jugglers, singers, dancers, puppeteers, sidewalk artists, living statues and assorted oddballs on parade.

Nearby is Plaça Reial, with plenty of bars and restaurants where the likes of Pablo Picasso and Salvador Dalí hung out.

Strolling up the narrow winding streets of the ‘Barrio Gotico,’ the medieval Gothic quarter, is full of interesting tapas bars and cafes. Check out ’Els Quatre Gats’, another of Picasso’s former hangouts and worth a look. Or head for the old Barceloneta section on the waterfront, now packed with paella restaurants (some floating ones too.) Or to the beach area, which runs from Barceloneta to the Olympic village.

Catalans are known for their independent spirit and their sense of humor. Salvador Dalí was a Catalan, and his bizarre sense of humor

ME Barcelona

ME Barcelona

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is just one example of the region’s endearing weirdness. For a day trip, travel to Figueres and step inside the surreal world of Salvador Dalí and find a museum like none other. Dalí wanted visitors to see his massive collection as a ‘whole’ work, and for this reason he wanted no catalogues and refused to have his works placed in chronological or subject order. Inside is a world of fantasy mixed with architecture mixed with paintings and sculptures. It’s a completely surrealistic experience.

Though truly steeped in history and conflict and fiercely protective of its Catalan language and identity, much of Barcelona is in fact a modern, post-1992 Olympic Games ideal. Even though it was over three decades ago, it is hard not to notice the effect the Olympic Games had on the city. This city is truly awash with color, energy, and openness.

After a dip in the pool and a drink at the ME Barcelona Rooftop Bar, we prepared for dinner out. Our destination is situated in the heart of Barcelona – Darvaza. While the name may seem a bit over the top (Darvaza is a crater in Turkmenistan that burns at 400°C known as “The Door to Hell”), it is aptly fitting for the ember grilling method used by the chefs here.

Darvaza truly captures the city’s vibrant gastronomic scene.

Darvaza’s menu showcases a fusion of Spanish cuisine with modern twists, tantalizing every tastebud, and its unique architecture elegantly combines modern and traditional design, exuding an irresistible cozy Spanish charm. Cue the live DJ for dinner music and the ambiance is complete. The staff is knowledgeable about the food and extensive wine list, courteous, and attentive. We chose a well-priced cava, ARS Collecta Gran Rosé from Catalonia to start, and paired it with starters of Delta del Ebro Sun grilled oysters, Countryside Style Buffalo Burrata with organic wood-fired roast pumpkin, caramel-coated pine nuts and basil, and the Red Prawn rice. Our main courses included the Grilled Duck breast smoked in holm oak wood, with hoisin sauce and green spring onion, and the Beef Sirloin, accompanied by a Viña Zaco Tempranillo from La Rioja. And, although you will be stuffed by the end, find room for dessert!

The Bonfire is a fun service of homemade tropical fruit marshmallows over an open flame, and a fun photo op.

Darvaza Barcelona will leave a lasting impression… It’s not just about the food, it’s an experience.

While in Barcelona, I suggest walking or

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photos courtesy Darvaza

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taking the double-decker Hop-On Hop-Off Bus. See all the sights at your leisure and decide where you want to stop and see more. Simply hop back on a bus when you’re ready to leave. It really is the easiest and safest way to get around in Barcelona. Plaça Cataluña is the main hub and an easy spot to get started, so that’s where we will begin the second day.

A few stops into the route is Sagrada Familia.

No visit to Barcelona is complete without visiting this famous basilica designed by Antoni Gaudí. Begun in 1882 and still unfinished, the Sagrada Familia is notable for its organic form. It is an unexpected sight in its urban setting, with its bold flying buttresses and twisted towers looming over the city. Work on the project has continued since Gaudí’s death in 1926. When completed it will be the tallest church building in the world.

Another Gaudí treasure, and the next stop on the bus is Park Guëll. There is a lot to see here, at one of the world’s most unique parks, offering amazing views of the city. It’s a playground for the mind with visual jokes, like columns that simulate palm tree trunks, rubble-surfaced arches that grow out of the ground, and quilts of curving ceramic tiles. Gaudí’s imagination is on full display here. Gaudí lived on the property for the last 20 years of his life, and this residence is now a museum. Park Guëll is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, along with other Gaudí works.

So many more stops, but it’s getting late, and we opt for a drink at El Bosc de les Fades (The Forest of the Fairies). This fun whimsical bar is another unique Barcelona experience, located off a hidden little side street near the Wax Museum at the bottom of La Rambla. Open the doors and you literally walk into a magical forest lit by lanterns and candles, with seats built around the trees, and secrets around every corner. Grab a drink and go exploring! Hidden pathways cross over streams and past waterfalls. Every 20-30 minutes the bar goes dark as a thunderstorm passes through - complete with lightning flashes and claps of thunder. Food is available, but I prefer to sip a Sangria and wait for the storm to pass.

Located only 22 miles (35kms) south, and a short 25-minute train ride from Barcelona is the lovely seaside resort town of Sitges. With its beautiful beaches (clothed and clothing optional), non-stop nightlife, narrow pedestrian streets, and everything gay – bars, restaurants, hotels, cruising, saunas, shopping, you name it… Sitges is one of THE top spots for the gay traveler. And it is all within walking distance no METROSOURCE.COM

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photo courtesy Calipolis Hotel

matter where you are in town. The gay community is one with the straight community here, and all commingle and get along famously. So, there is no “Gay Ghetto” as in other towns or cities. Summer months of June through September are the season in Sitges, with July and August bearing the most travelers. In any of these months you will meet fun folk from all over the world and enjoy lots of sunshine with warm temperatures.

Our arrival in Sitges on day three, started at the Hotel Calipolis. Location, location, location. This 4-star hotel is located directly facing the Mediterranean Sea and the main gay beach (Playa De La Bossa Rodona), has a lovely pool, and is one of my favorite spots for a dip and a late lunch poolside after some sunning on the beach. We booked our evening dinner plans ahead of time, so after a quick siesta we were ready for a Sitges experience - the Queenz Dinner Show.

We were greeted with a glass of cava and escorted to our table. The restaurant is elegant and feels warm. The staff is delightfully friendly and attentive, with owners Dick and AJ usually in the house. Dinner is a 3-course menu of delicious options with a French/Mediterranean flair. Dinner is served at a leisurely pace with

Sitges

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time to enjoy the fresh fare and a bottle of Spanish wine. At the conclusion of dinner service, the show begins. And having recently undergone a complete renovation, the Queenz Restaurant is equipped with the latest lighting and sound systems for the show spectacular. And when I say spectacular, I mean it. No standard drag show here. The Queenz Dinner Show is a wonderful blend of drag, cabaret, theater, eye candy, and humor – with amazingly creative choreographed numbers and colorful costumes. You’ll laugh, you’ll smile, you’ll applaud, and you’ll want to come back again the next day! Reserve online at www.queenzdinnershow.com.

It’s midnight, but the night is young. A short walk toward the sea down to Carrer Bonaire and you will find Queenz Bar, a very popular stop on the Sitges bar crawl. Lively music, entertainment, and stiff drinks are on the menu here. Before you even get “inside” the bar, stop outside at Ruby’s Terrace Bar. If you are lucky, Ruby will be serving up the looks and the drinks. If you are even luckier, you will encounter Ben, one of the most affable blokes around. He always has a fun story and a great drink waiting for you! Queenz Bar is also where you will spot the first lady of Sitges, Lady Diamond. Her drag sing-along nights are legendary and bring in a packed house of international travelers – and everyone ends up singing together. Be sure to seek her out while in Sitges.

Spain produces some very notable wines and if you’re in the mood for some tasting, the wine region of Penedès, one of the best in Spain and the oldest in Catalonia, is just a short taxi ride away and a great day trip. A visit to the Torres Family winery is a sensory feast and a must for any wine lover. Vamos! Torres is one of the Spanish trailblazers of the modern Spanish industry and the largest wine producer in Spain. The Torres Family began producing wine in Penedès in 1870, with their winegrowing roots dating back to the 16th century. We tasted two of my favorite wines from the region - Mas La Plana, a consistently high ‘90s rated Cabernet Sauvignon, and the also highly rated Fransola Sauvignon Blanc. You can taste these and other wines during your visit to the Familia Torres Visitor Center. Book ahead for exclusive wine experiences and food pairings.

There is also a delightful family history museum on the property, displaying some old wine making equipment, winery awards, family historical items, and much more. Learn more about this and the other wine regions of Spain at www.torres.es.

Time for one last swim in “our” pool before heading back to Barcelona airport and the flight home, completing our Aegean Odyssey. Traveling

Queenz Dinner Show

Ben at Queenz Bar

Sitges

Torres Visitor Center

opens up new experiences, cultures, and landscapes, turning each journey into a unique adventure. Where’s your next adventure taking you?

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FR O M TO T THE L UXU CUR HE ATE P R AC T R I O U S DB YM ICA ICH L A EL W

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Dewar’s Double Double 37 - The Epitome of Luxury Whisky www.dewars.com $1799 Here’s a new luxe spirits gifting item for the season – the Dewar’s Double Double 37-YearOld Scotch Whisky and Baccarat crystal tumbler set. Priced at $1,799/bottle and aged four times for ultimate smoothness, Dewar’s Double Double 37 is the highest age expression released from the brand’s Double Double range. This limitededition release is the first of four in a special Collector’s Series celebrating Scotland’s most famous whisky regions. The landmark Double Double 37 whisky is finished in Oloroso sherry casks that held Aultmore single malt whisky, which honors the region of Speyside. Crafted by five-time Master Blender of the Year Stephanie Macleod, the blended malt is comprised of a collection of single malt whiskies, each aged independently for 37 years.

To make the Double Double 37 drinking experience even more special, Dewar’s Scotch Whisky has partnered with the iconic, luxury French crystal manufacturer, Baccarat, to release a limitededition set of Double Double 37 and cut crystal glassware as the ideal accouterment to enjoy the ultra-premium liquid in style. The glassware set and bottle is available on Dewars.com.

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Bushwick Kitchen Gourmet Condiments

Threes Knees Spicy Gift Set $49.99 The ultimate gift set for the spicy fan in your life. Three popular products (spicy honey, spicy maple, and gochujang sriracha) beautifully packaged with a BK dish towel. Use on roasted vegetables, spicy maple sage daiquiri, scrambled eggs, and more!

www.bushwickkitchen.com Here’s a sauce company serving up finger-licking, flavor-addicting sauces and condiments for every kitchen creative and foodie looking to elevate their meals or share a unique culinary gift to inspire friends and family.

Bushwick Kitchen offers a variety of gourmet condiments and ingredients for every dining occasion. Perfect for charcuterie boards and a variety of beverages and dishes (from breakfast to dessert), they offer culinary gift sets for all palates. Whether you have a spicy or sweet gift recipient, Bushwick Kitchen has you covered.

Here are some gift set ideas:

Bees Knees Honey Gift Set $54.99 The ultimate gift set for every honey fan! Three honey flavors (spicy, meyer lemon and salted) beautifully packaged with a BK dish towel. Use on biscuits, pizza, ice cream, cheese plate, fried chicken, and more!

Weak Knees Sriracha Gift Set $49.99 Three srirachas (gochujang, super spicy and curry) in one click. Beautifully packaged with a BK dish towel and a unique QR code linking you to a collection of recipes. Use on roasted cauliflower, chicken stew, sweet potato fries, meatballs, curry chicken drumsticks, hummus, buffalo wings, and more!

Other products are also available at Bushwickkitchen.com.

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PIECAKEN www.goldbelly.com $99.95 “Top Ten Pastry Chef in America” Zac Young wants it all–especially when it comes to sweets. In 2015, he created the instantly viral PieCaken, an epic 4-in-1 dessert composed of a pecan pie, pumpkin pie, spice cake, and apple pie all layered together with cinnamon buttercream. Instagram pastry fans to morning show hosts like Kelly Rippa went wild. The dessert wonder was such a hit that the city of New York had a pumpkin puree shortage due to production.

Much sweeter than a sweater, the PieCaken is the perfect gift for the dessert lover on your list. To ship to a loved one or bring to a holiday gathering, this showstopping holiday dessert is a welcome guest at any holiday table. NEW this holiday season is an updated version of the Christmas PieCaken: a sprinkle covered, festive mashup combining chocolate pecan pie, cherry swirl cheesecake and red velvet cake, layered with cream cheese buttercream and topped off with festive holiday sprinkles. PieCakens are available on Goldbelly.com for $99.95, which includes nationwide shipping. But like the most wonderful time of the year, the Christmas PieCaken only sticks around for the month of December, so get yours at goldbelly.com now.

Foton Pearled Candle www.fotoncandle.com From $34.99 Ignite your imagination and get creative for your holiday party with candles. The possibilities are endless with Foton Pearled Candles – you can create new looks again and again. While giving you the ultimate in creative freedom, Foton is safer than traditional candles as it self-extinguishes when tipped over or accidentally left burning overnight.

You’ll never toss another candle container away, as the natural and clean-burning Foton pearls allow you to refill and repurpose existing containers into candles to reduce waste. The pearls are made from highly purified and certified sustainably sourced plant-based wax.

Four simple steps: pour Foton pearls into a suitable container (4” minimum width); insert the wick, leaving 1/4” tip visible; light the wick and enjoy your candle; and then relight or replace the wick to refresh your candle.

Available in a multitude of colors and scents, including custom hues. Visit fontoncandle.com for more information.

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MÄNNKITCHEN Pepper Cannon www.mannkitchen.com $199 The Pepper Cannon produces extravagant quantities of fresh ground pepper. Decrease the coarseness and crank less if you like.

Up To 10 times faster than other pepper mills. Most mills can only grind pepper in the 12-28 mesh size range. The Pepper Cannon can grind from eight all the way past 60 - coarse enough for stocks and roast beef, and finer than the pre-ground pepper you’ve been forced to buy because your mill wasn’t up for the task. A doublebearing supported drive shaft that powers high-carbon stainless steel burrs ensure you get the best grind, every time.

Easily adjust the grind on the base, where dual spring-plungers and detents keep it in place so your setting will stay until you change it. A push-button enabled top is easily removed and replaced without messing with your grind setting or needing readjustment. Pre-grind up to cup of pepper into the base for easy one-hand seasoning. No need to wash your hands mid-seasoning after flipping your raw steak.

The Pepper Cannon is milled from a solid chunk of aerospace grade aluminum and then anodized black to make the surface durable, non-reactive and easy to clean. The burrs are hardened high-carbon stainless steel - the pepper never stood a chance.

To grab this, and other MÄNNKITCHEN products, visit mannkitchen.com.

FlyFrames www.flyframes.com $154 FlyFrames introduces a new concept in sunglasses. Inspired by the classic Pince-Nez design, these shades are earpiece-free, resting comfortably on your nose for a seamless fit. FlyFrames are crafted with feather-light premium nylon fiber frames and titanium components for durability. So, whether you’re exploring the city or strutting down the beach, FlyFrames have your back (or should we say, nose?) These innovative glasses are designed to sit securely on the bridge of your nose by gently pinching the two handles, making earpieces irrelevant.

The lightweight nature of titanium grants the ability to avoid compromising on weight while delivering exceptional durability and strength.

The lenses have the added benefit of blocking UV rays.

Check out the patented Flyer technology that’s breathing new life into sunglasses innovation at flyframes.com.

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Armitron Stainless Steel Charles www.armitron.com $105 The new men’s Armitron watch releases are shiny, weighted like luxury, and don’t break the bank when selecting from their exquisite colors or strong and brilliant designs. The Stainless-Steel Charles presents a timeless design. The gunmetal version is sleek and sophisticated, with the black dial adding a bold, yet classic look, while allowing you to tell time with ivory hands. The stainless-steel bezel provides multifunctional capabilities, and the silvertone/ blue version adds a colorful, contemporary look.

The analog movement is complemented by three traditional sub-dials, offering you the convenience of tracking military time, the day of the week, and the month, all in one elegant watch.

Visit armitron.com to make a stylish statement wherever you go.

Ironhorse Vineyards Holiday Gift Subscription www.ironhorsevineyards.com $399 In honor of being named “Best Sparkling Wine Subscription” by Forbes Vetted, Iron Horse Vineyards was inspired to create a special, short-term subscription for the holidays. Spoil your lucky recipient with three different deliveries of Iron Horse bubbles, spanning December, January, and February. The delicious journey begins with a Magnum of Classic Vintage Brut in a gift box and a personalized gift message from you in time for the December Holidays. In January and February, the excitement continues with the Winemaker’s Choice “Sparkling Only” Club selections, curated by winemaker David Munksgard. This is a pre-paid subscription and recipients will receive an email confirmation before each of the three deliveries. Cheers to the endless gratitude and appreciation for being such a wonderful and thoughtful gift giver! The lucky giftees will be covered for everything from New Year’s Eve to Valentine’s Day. Shipping is included.

Iron Horse is one of Sonoma County’s most beautiful, small, independent, estate, family-owned wineries. Iron Horse is renowned for its Sparkling Wines, which have been served at the White House for six consecutive presidential administrations. The estate was named after a railroad stop which crossed the property in the 1890s. Winemaker Rodney Strong rediscovered it as a vineyard site in 1970, planting the original 55 acres of Chardonnay and 55 acres of Pinot Noir.

To purchase and get more information, visit ironhorsevineyards.com.

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Hault Men’s Skincare Bundle www.haultmen.com $157.50 Hault Men’s Skincare has harnessed the healing and spiritual power of the desert to improve your mental and skin health. Hault’s Desert Collection celebrates resilient desert plants, rich in antioxidants, antiinflammatories, and anti-aging Phyto actives, such as prickly pear cactus, to protect your present and future skin. These hardy plants thrive in the barren desert by producing oils to retain moisture and protect themselves from the sun. Hault uses these protective oils to shield skin from modern-day aggressors like stress and pollution before they cause inflammation - healthy, hydrated skin is good at protecting itself.

We can’t avoid stress, but a simple 5-minute skincare routine forces you to slow down and gain perspective – it’s a vital part of your self-care routine and will stop you from feeling overwhelmed. Your Hault morning routine helps you cope with whatever the day brings; your evening routine helps calm you down and reset for a good night’s sleep: • Rilito Face Wash: gently cleanse for one minute to thoroughly remove all pollution.

• Mirage Eye Repair: dab gently along orbital bone with ring finger.

• Oasis Facial Hydration: massage in, then lightly tap all over the face to bring blood to the surface and aid penetration.

• Close your eyes. Breathe in through the nose for a count of four, then let out a big sigh right down to your belly.

Skincare is self-care – a moment of reset after a busy day. Our mind needs calming, and so does our skin. So, in this busy holiday season take some time to de-stress and nourish your skin. The Hault Bundle comes with a free Dopp Kit and makes a great gift! Visit haultmen.com for purchase and product information.

Newton’s Tower www.museumstore.sfmoma.org $125 Explore the beauty and brilliance of Newton’s Tower, where ingenuity meets the rainbow! Comprising 63 translucent pieces across the rainbow colors, this dazzling tumbling tower allows light to dance through, creating a kaleidoscope of mesmerizing effects.

The individual pieces, nine of each hue, can be arranged to blend and reveal captivating new colors. Engage in an enthralling game of skill.

Newton’s Tower is more than just a game; it’s an artistic experience that invites you to explore a universe of color and wonder. Whether displayed as a radiant piece of decor or enjoyed interactively, it’s a vibrant adventure that awaits your discovery!

From the SFMOMA Museum Store, visit museumstore.sfmoma.org to purchase and for more holiday offerings.

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THIS PAGE : PHOTO BY PETER YANG

I LIKE BEING A LITTLE BIT OF AN OUTSIDER.”

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FROM OUTSIDER TO TINSELTOWN INSIDER FELLOW TRAVELERS’

RON NYSWANER

BY ALEXANDER RODRIGUEZ THIS SEASON, SHOWTIME PREMIERED THE SERIES FELLOW TRAVELERS, an ambitious, beautifully wo-

ven multi-era-spanning love story between two men as they fight the odds of societal norms, family pressure, and personal demons. Starring Matt Bomer and Jonathan Bailey in undeniably career-topping performances, the series is based on the novel by Thomas Mallon and brought to television by Academy, Emmy, and Golden Globe-nominated writer and director, Rony Nyswaner. No stranger to telling our stories, Ron has been infiltrating Hollywood with subjects that include homosexuality, AIDS, homophobia, and LGBTQ activism, in works that include Philadelphia with Tom Hanks, Showtime’s Soldier’s Girl, and The Policeman with Harry Styles. His craft captures characters in a gripping and visceral way, something that was inspired by dealing with his sexuality in his youth.

I feel that I have been an outsider my whole life, and I have come to really enjoy it. I grew up with very loving parents - simple working-class incredibly honest people who taught me to be kind to other people and to

think about others besides yourself. I grew up being early identified as a sissy kid, terrible at sports, couldn’t throw the ball, and ran funny. It becomes that whole thing where once you’re identified like that, everything you do is held up to ridicule and question by certain people. So, the way I talked, the way I walked, the way I held my books, which was a big one - girls held their books in front of them, and boys held their books under their arm on the side, was looked at. And if you made a mistake, the entire day you were treated in a brutal way.

With a combination of that sort of thing, there was some violence. It sent me into my head and into watching Betty Davis and Joan Crawford movies in the afternoon on our black and white TV. I learned to love melodrama, I learned to love women, and I learned to love story-making and storytelling. Then I transitioned into movies like The Way We Were. I was just so impressed at how you could make this love story about two people who aren’t destined to

be together, and it could just break your heart. I think that has been an influence and made me want to tell stories that would move people emotionally as it did.

And tell stories, Ron has. He sold his first script while in graduate school, and he’s never looked back. As an openly gay writer in the ‘80s, his presence in the industry was a rarity at a time when most Hollywood writers stayed in the closet for fear of being black-listed.

I’ve been out there. It’s just who I am. I like being different. I’m quite comfortable being one or one of two gay people in the room. I don’t seek it out, but I don’t mind it at all. I like being a little bit of an outsider.

In film school, I remember I wrote a scene with a gay character in it. I was told by somebody at the film school that I should leave the screenwriting program and be a critic instead. And I certainly should not write characters like that anymore. This goes way back to 1978. That didn’t stop me.

Ever since, I’ve been trying to write LGBTQ characters when I could.

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The first major splash Nyswaner made in Hollywood was in 1993 with Philadelphia.

Sweeping the award nominations for that year, the film details the trail of an attorney suing his employers for firing him after they found out he was a gay man with AIDS. Given the climate towards AIDS and homosexuality at that time, the film was surprisingly easy to greenlight.

People are so disappointed when they hear that. In some ways, they want to hear we had to battle the suits. The suits opened their arms. Mark Platt, who is still such a dominant force in our business, was the head of Orion Pictures. When we, Jonathan Demme and I, went to him and pitched the idea he said, “There are 10 scripts in development now in Hollywood about AIDS. All of them have heterosexual main characters - that’s immoral.

We’re going to make the movie about AIDS that should be made.” So that’s how easy it was - the doors just opened for us.

Ron was the instant talk of Hollywood.

His success would prove to be a double-edged sword as he spiraled downward with addiction to drugs, alcohol, and sex, marring the day he received his Oscar nomination.

I had been up for two days doing cocaine because I was in the throes of my drug addiction, which very nearly killed me. And the phone was ringing repeatedly, and I pulled it out of the wall because I couldn’t talk to anybody in that state. That specific memory is very much in my mind.

Ron recounted his relationship with addiction in his memoir Blue Days, Black Nights: A Memoir.

I had a tragic event in my life. Somebody I was with died while we were vacationing together. You would think that the next day I’d rush to rehab. But I drank and drugged for the next two years because I hated myself so much for the part I had played in that person’s death.

It’s somebody I really loved. I thought I didn’t deserve to live.

I don’t think I had a terrible childhood. But I do think those things that you’re told when you’re growing up gay: you’re ugly, you’re disgusting, the way you walk is stupid, the way you talk is wrong, that everything about you is wrong finally caught up to me. I’m not blaming my addiction on that. I believe addiction is a disease but that’s self-hatred. Even though I had been out in Hollywood, and I

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THIS PAGE : PHOTOS BY BEN MARK HOLZBERG SHOWTIME (BELOW)

EVERY SEX SCENE IS AN EXCHANGE OF POWER”

had some success and I felt very comfortable taking my boyfriends to events and all that kind of stuff, the self-hatred was still there. It all got wound up together, and then I had my own suicide attempt.

Then there was just a day when I couldn’t take it anymore. I went and I found help.

It had been another three nights that I’d been up and just hated myself so much. I either had to die or I had to get help. And so, I got help.

Love has played a tricky part in Ron’s life.

From being inspired by movies like The Way We Were to the novel Fellow Travelers; he finds the beauty in love that just doesn’t seem destined to be. The two main characters in Fellow Travelers are both in the political arena during the McCarthy Era when witch hunts for sexual deviants ran rampant. If that weren’t enough, the two characters couldn’t be more different than the other, one finding love in illicit one-night stands, the other battling his love of God with the love of another man.

When I read Fellow Travelers, I just loved it. I loved the relationship at the center of it - the love story of two people who just don’t see the world the same way.

They’re opposites in many ways yet, they can’t stay away from each other. And I love that that was set in a time of politics in Washington DC when love really was dangerous when being found out, being exposed, could mean the end of your career, the end of your life, or being cut off from your family, et cetera.

I find a lot of love stories are written like soap operas and people sitting around talking about their feelings and that kind of stuff. That kind of love story bores me.

I believe that love is actually a terrifying thing because if you love something you might lose it. And you can lose it in different ways. People walk out of our lives.

People don’t love us as much as we love them, or something tragic happens. This has happened to me. People we love die. I don’t like grief, so I’m afraid of love. I’m afraid of being rejected like we all are.

But that’s a great adventure to have, that I keep trying to force myself to have.

The sex scenes in Fellow Travelers are graphic but beautifully done. The intensity of the sex is not to shock, but rather to show the visceral connection that two characters have. Where there are no words to convey the love or rage, they have towards each other, there is body contact.

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epidemic, something Ron intimately lived through. What does he want younger generations to understand most about that time?

That it was the activism and the brilliance of gay activists, like those in Act Up, who solved, as much as it was solved, the AIDS crisis in the sense of coming up with the AIDS cocktail. And they did it by at one point taking over the CDC, breaking into it, climbing onto the roof, and raising banners. And then eventually they sat side by side with people like Dr. Fauci to understand the science. Our community became empowered by what we were experiencing.

That’s the thing that an LGBTQ audience should take away.

As much as Fellow Travelers takes place in the past, Ron believes it is speaking to our current struggles as an LGBTQ community.

There’s joy in the struggle. Don’t despair. This isn’t the worst time in gay history. It’s been worse. There’ve been other dark times. It’s the fact that we survive and that we thrive. We make culture. We laugh, we have sex, we dance, and we change. And we get to become politicians and we change the world. So that’s the message of Fellow

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Travelers. It’s not a visit to a sad time - I hope it’s an empowering thing.

Ron has seen, and been part of, the evolution of LGBTQ stories in Hollywood. What is his take on the current way Hollywood is telling our stories?

I don’t think of Hollywood as this monolithic thing that has a single brain that does anything. Hollywood is a place where we get money to do things we want to do, and we must convince them to let us.

So sometimes we get to make things like Fellow Travelers. I’m totally supported in that journey. But I’ll tell you something that I have been talking about, and I feel that we have succeeded with Fellow Travelers. In this story, our characters are flawed, like Don Draper or Walter White or Tony Soprano. That is where we need to be and what we embrace with gay characters, that they can have their full range of humanity.

They can be morally ambiguous. We had a rule - no noble victims. We’re not going to embrace the victimhood of our characters.

They survived and they’re flawed. This is the place we need to be now. And we are, I’m not alone in doing this. If you watch

THIS PAGE : PHOTO BY BEN MARK HOLZBERG SHOWTIME

This was extremely important to Ron to include in the series.

When I finally, at the ripe old age of 21 came out of the closet in 1977, the sexual connection with other men was so powerful, to have that passion and that freedom.

It brought me such joy. Then we rolled right into the AIDS crisis and that beautiful sexuality that I’d experienced was being blamed. We were being blamed. We were being told that we deserved to die because of it, which was so unjust and wrong. And I just wanted to reassert the joy of sexuality.

In our show, we are incredibly careful to be honest about what sex is. Oscar Wilde says sex is about power. That was the rule in Fellow Travelers that every sex scene is an exchange of power. Somebody wants the other person more at that moment, or they get something from the other person. It’s not totally consciously manipulative, but it is about power. And that really gave the actors and the directors something to really work with. The sex scenes are about who actually wins, and who’s getting something from the other person.

The series conclusion ends during the AIDS

THIS PAGE : PHOTO COURTESY OF SHOWTIME

IN THIS STORY, OUR CHARACTERS ARE FLAWED” all the characters in Succession, they’re fascinating. None of them are LGBTQ. I think that would’ve been great, but would the LGBTQ one have to be the nice one because we’re afraid that we’re offending a minority? To me, that would be offensive. Like, oh, I don’t get to be bad. I want to be everything that all the straight people get to be.

Through his storytelling, Ron has a message for the LGBTQ community: Be energized by the fight. But don’t hate, because if you return hate with hate, we are not empowered there. Tom Stoddard, who was one of the founders of the early gay rights activists (who was a consultant on Philadelphia), said, “Because we’re a civil rights movement based on the right to love, we must love even those who don’t love us. There’s a radical kind of love that we can have that is an acceptance that’s not forgiveness.”

Find joy in the struggle, keep struggling, and don’t despair.

■ Fellow Travelers is now streaming on Showtime.

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THIS PAGE : PHOTO BY PAUL CASTRO

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MELISSA

ETHERIDGE TALKS TO ANGELS

BY STEVE GOTTFRIED

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TO THE CASUAL OBSERVER, MELISSA ETHERIDGE PROJECTS THIS IMAGE OF A HARD-DRIVING, BAD-ASS, rock

diva with gritty, turbo-charged hits like “Come to my Window,”“I’m the Only One” and “Bring Me Some Water” but peel back the layers and you’ll find a deeply spiritual individual, a seeker. With a career spanning 3-plus decades, Etheridge is riding high, literally and figuratively, garnering rave reviews for her one-woman Broadway show and sharing in her new autobiography how a cannabis-induced high led to a mind-altering spiritual awakening. It all happened back in 2003 when her then-partner Tammy was baking chocolate chip cookies and, at Melissa’s suggestion, decided to enhance the cookies with some cannabis they’d received as a gift from a friend. Etheridge attributes the intense high to what she calls a “heroic” dose that went into the batch of cookies. Etheridge’s quest for spiritual enlightenment didn’t end there.

Far from it. She is a committed devotee of all things spiritual from tarot readings and astrological charts to past life regressions and shaman-guided ayahuasca ceremonies.

Your new memoir Talking to My Angels is not your typical celebrity tell-all. You had this revelation that you wanted to share with the world. Tell me about that.

Well, it’s funny, because the more I’ve lived this, the more I realize everybody has their own path. This is not something I feel the need to preach to the world, or save anybody. This is just my experience.

And the best thing I can do is to be a good example of it. You know, saying, hey, this really helped me. Finding your own inner peace is where I’m at with that.

The“heroic”dose of cannabis-laced chocolate chip cookies that led to this intense high - have you tried to replicate that?

I have never gotten that close on cannabis. But with ayahuasca or a good dose of psilocybin or something, we’ll get to that place. As for that first experience, I describe in the book, I don’t think I’ll ever get there again. But that’s okay. The point is not to live in this non-physical realm. That’s where I will be when I’m not here. The point is to know it’s there, and try to bring some of that into this physical space so it helps you deal with life’s difficulties.

It sounded like the ayahuasca journey amplified the messages that you got from that initial cannabis breakthrough.

Yeah, I was able to bring more back if that makes sense. You can have your mind blown in that sort of situation but not fully

KANSAS IS SO SUPPORTIVE OF A BIG, GAY, POT-SMOKING ROCK STAR.” comprehend what it all means. But if you can bring some of it back and understand that we’re all made up of the same stuff, then you start to realize how much more control you have over your own personal choices. And that can really help you move through tricky situations.

The first 30 years of Etheridge’s life were spent chasing the dream of being a rock star. With uncompromising drive and tenacity, she kept her eyes on the prize and hit the bull’s-eye in her late twenties, releasing her first album and earning her first Grammy nomination. She would go on to become a platinum-selling recording artist with a staggering list of accolades including 15 Grammy nominations, two wins and an Oscar for Best Song for the documentary An Inconvenient Truth on the perils of climate change. As she writes in her memoir: “Thirty years ago, I was living life at full speed. I was riding my fame and music career like a dirt bike at high speed, taking all the bumps, the hills, the narrow trails, looking only forward as I carved my dreams into reality, worked my ass off and made a name for myself.”

You seemed to have a very clear vision of what you wanted from an early age.

Well, yeah. The music in the ‘60s and ‘70s was so incredible. If you were a child or teenager during that era, rock and roll music was a huge part of it. You had the radio and records. It thrilled me to listen to the music. When I started learning guitar and I realized I could actually make the music, that’s where that dream came in. It was like, oh my god, do you think I could do this every day. And I’ve just been building that dream ever since.

There are so many memorable moments in the book from your childhood like when your

dad came home with this great guitar and gives it to your older sister. And it’s this soul-crushing moment. Then she didn’t want it, so you got it by default. You had to convince him to let you take guitar lessons even though the teacher said you were too young and that your fingers would bleed.

But you were insistent and determined.

Like I said, it was so in the culture. I loved watching the Archies [the cartoon, pre-Riverdale] as a child and was fascinated by the guitars they were playing. I was like, oh, what is that? I want to know how to do that. I used to just sit and look through the JC Penney catalog and look at all the guitars and dream of them. Then to have a guitar come into my home .... Finally, when I started learning how to play, it’s such a bigger mountain than you think. It’s much harder. But that’s when it got interesting.

My teacher was so good - Don Raymond.

He taught me how to read guitar music, which is difficult. He was a very disciplined guitar teacher, and I’m incredibly grateful for him.

In Talking to My Angels, Etheridge takes us back to her early childhood as a tomboy growing up in Leavenworth, Kansas which was known more for the ubiquity of prisons than churning out rock stars. Missy, as she was known, was tormented as a child by an older sister who sexually abused her in secret and scarred by a mother who was emotionally distant. Her saving grace was music and a father who was able to provide the love and encouragement she needed to thrive.

Etheridge dated a couple guys during high school, but she started becoming aware that something wasn’t clicking. It wasn’t until her 17th birthday that she experienced her first same-sex kiss with a fellow classmate which brought clarity to her

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of childhood trauma and relationships gone awry.

Though the intense cannabis high (which Etheridge describes in her book as a really long orgasm) occurred two decades ago in 2003, it enhanced her connection to Spirit and sent her on a quest to learn as much as she could from a wide range of sources across many disciplines from Maya Angelou to Eckhart Tolle and Don Miguel Ruiz. Seeing how one’s perception governs one’s experiences gave her a completely new sense of agency and control. These authors and fellow seekers gave her the tools to make sense of the trauma of her past and transcend it. As Etheridge says:“It taught me how to practice love and live a life of Spirit.”

Etheridge explains that for much of her life she had compartmentalized the good from the bad.

This new insight taught her to understand that human experience is such that the two opposing forces – good and evil, light and dark, joy and trauma – coexist and that the best way to process the negative is to shed light on it and acknowledge it. I asked her to elaborate on this dichotomy.

Well, from what I understand, we exist in a dualistic reality. It consists of light and dark, good and bad. What makes reality so amazing is that we can choose. There’s a place of understanding that peace can’t exist without war and war can’t exist

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without peace. It’s just understanding that I’m going to do what I can to raise the awareness and the vibration of peace.

Etheridge has also been on a journey processing the death of her son Beckett who died at the age of 21 of a drug overdose in 2020. In her book, she talks about processing that loss and releasing the guilt and shame that are often associated with the loss of a loved one to addiction. There’s a school of thought that painful things happen to us for a reason so we can learn from it. What was the lesson that Beckett taught you?

Beckett is the biggest teacher in my life. Even when he was alive. Because his choices would be so different from what I would choose. I learned to allow and not feel like I had to jump in the fire with him to save him. Because that makes me ill. I could not get sick enough to make him well.

It doesn’t work that way. I worked the last few years of his life supporting him and seeing him in the best light I could. And staying in the best shape I could to give him an example of choices he could make for himself. So, Beckett really taught me, and continues to teach me, how to love myself.

Because it would be quite easy to fall into a hole of guilt and shame when your child

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sexual identification as a lesbian. But her romantic relationships were fraught with complicated baggage that would take years to sort out.

You recently went back to your hometown and participated in a tour, riding with a bus full of your fans and pointing out your old stomping grounds, greeting kids at your former high school and sharing your memories of growing up in Leavenworth.

That must have been pretty cool.

Yes. I love bringing attention to my hometown, because so many towns in the Midwest are just not thought of. My experience growing up in Leavenworth, Kansas was foundational. But for the rest of the world, Leavenworth is a small town, you know, it’s tiny. The people there were so supportive. I was able to grow up there and learn and have a childhood there. It was so solid. So to go away from there, and then have the city embrace me as a celebrity for the past 30 or 40 years is so meaningful.

They’ve been very supportive. It’s not easy in these days of such division, especially politically, that Kansas is so supportive of a big, gay, pot-smoking rock star. But they are, and I so appreciate that.

But the rock star dream ultimately left a void in terms of life’s deeper questions and making sense

WHAT MAKES REALITY SO AMAZING IS THAT WE CAN CHOOSE.”

dies. He taught me not to do that.

Her Broadway solo show Melissa Etheridge: My Window just completed its nine-week limited engagement at Circle in the Square Theatre.

Through storytelling and song, she walked audiences through her life, from her childhood, through messy marriages, her battle with cancer to her spiritually peaceful present. She accompanied herself on guitar, piano, drums, and looping machine.

What prompted you to tackle Broadway?

That’s been a dream for a long time.

When I was growing up in Kansas, along with all the rock and roll, I loved Broadway musicals. I had the London Symphony Orchestra’s recording of Pete Townsend’s Tommy. That’s the one where Rod Stewart is singing “Pinball Wizard” and it’s got Roger Daltry and Richie Havens. It’s an incredible recording. The classical take on rock and roll was so cool. That’s also when I was exposed to shows like Godspell and Jesus Christ Superstar and Hair.

To take rock and roll and make it theatrical, to make it something you can watch on a stage, really fired me up. I was a big fan of Andrew Lloyd Webber and Steven Schwartz and even Sondheim. My wife

[Linda Wallem] and I, even before we were a couple - we had a love of Broadway. So, we always wanted to do a project together.

Then during the pandemic, after Beckett died, it became about telling my story.

When I started drafting the book, I finally got an offer to come do the show. After Bruce Springsteen showed that a rocker could make the transition to Broadway, I said, okay, I think I can do this. I didn’t want to do it like Bruce did. I wanted to do it closer to the musicals that I love. It’s kind of an amalgamation of both.

You seem to really seek out challenges.

Etheridge’s eyes light up and she responds with an emphatic “Yes.” Is there something on the horizon that you’re looking toward?

Oh, always, always. I have so many dreams. I’ve lived long enough and done this long enough to know that there’s no final destination like “I’ve reached the mountaintop, it’s over.” I don’t want that. I always want to put something out in front of me. I always want to have a challenge.

That’s the juice. I’ve never really tackled anything in television. And I think that’s a great medium now that it reaches so many

more people with streaming services. Creating something for TV, that’s the kind of thing that I look forward to.

Since Etheridge’s wife Linda Wallem (who cowrote her Broadway show) is a TV writer who has worked on a string of hit shows like Nurse Jackie and That 70s Show, that seems like a natural progression.

You’ve channeled your music into activism as well.

You wrote the song “Pulse” to honor the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting and you wrote the song “I Need to Wake Up” for Al Gore’s documentary on climate change An Inconvenient Truth. How do you decide to take on certain social issues?

It has to be something where I feel the call, where I feel like it’s something that that I can lend a voice to that will have a greater impact than a news report would. With Pulse, I knew that my community - gay and lesbian - was just devastated and frayed. To provide that relief, that’s where I feel I can do the most good.

I’m not going out looking for things. But if something really touches me, I let that instinct guide me.

Your book is divided into two parts: “before” and “after” to distinguish between your state of mind before and after your spiritual awakening. It feels like there was an evolution in your songwriting with albums like Awakening and The Medicine Show and a shift in the kind of subject matter and themes you’re exploring.

Yeah, I shifted as a person. I had those experiences, and my biggest worry was no longer about waking up wondering if my girlfriend was being faithful. That’s gone, thank goodness. My view of this life and everything has changed. So that is what I write about.

I realize that a lot of people aren’t there, so they’re not going to relate to that music. But I’ve got to write the music that comes from a genuine place. But I love it when people go back and discover the other music that comes from a deeper place. I like that a lot.

■ Talking to My Angels is available at Amazon.com.

Pro tip: the audio version of this book includes many of her songs throughout.

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View from terrace atop Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel (photo by Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel)

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PARADISE FOUND ON THE

AMALFI COAST

BY MARK A THOMPSON

ON MY FIRST MORNING AT ANANTARA CONVENTO DI AMALFI GRAND HOTEL, I woke to

the sound of birdsong, the curtains drifting lazily as I stepped onto the terrace and into a breathtaking panorama of pale pink and mauve, the air fragrant with citrus, and the lavender sea as still as glass. No words, no photograph, could possibly do justice to a sight so marvelous, which is how the French novelist Andre Gide must’ve felt in writing that it was “so beautiful that I had no desire to see anything more beautiful in the world.”

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Somewhere on the spectrum between dreams and reality exists those mythological lands like Xanadu, Shangri-La, and Oz. Destinations of such extraordinary beauty like the Amalfi Coast that poets and writers, philosophers and monks struggle to find the words. There must be something mesmerizing in the lemon-scented breezes, something hypnotic like the sirens who called to Odysseus from Le Sirenuse, the archipelago of small isles just off the Amalfi Coast.

Surrounded by the Lattari Mountains with their terraced vineyards and cliffside staircases, the Amalfi Coast Drive is notable for hairpin turns and vertiginous vistas from peaks that tumble more than 1,000 feet into the cerulean sea. On a tortuous road that was originally carved by the Romans out of the coastal cliffs, it’s best to keep your seat belt fastened and leave the driving to professionals.

With foundations that date to the 13th century, Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel is built into a mountain overlooking the Tyrrhenian Sea. Medieval Christian ascetics first claimed a cliffside cave for contemplation, whereafter the site became an abbey, and then a nautical institute, followed by a grand hotel throughout the 19th century. In years past, guests were carried on armchairs mounted on poles which rested on the shoulders of local men who climbed the steep steps to the hotel high above.

As appealing as that might sound to some people, arrival at Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel is far more gracious. Following a private transfer via Mercedes S-Class sedan, guests are whisked upward from Amalfi Drive into a glass elevator that brings them to a cliffside terrace with its ancient mulattiera bell once used to alert monks of visitors. A profusion of pink bougainvillea and olive trees dot the hillside and yet it’s the brilliance of the blue sea that captivates the eye. How can water be so crystal blue, so persuasive in its appeal? A waiter arrives with a cool face cloth and the hotel’s signature limoncello cocktail.

Amidst such otherworldly splendor, there’s nothing to do but raise a toast to the beauty of Amalfi.

Given the relatively steep southern shoreline of the Sorrentine Peninsula, the Amalfi Coast has little area for agriculture - yet the local lemon, known as sfusato Amalfitano in Italian, has proven a boon to the economy with the production of limoncello liqueur.

From February through October, the air is perfumed by the lemon groves grown in terraced gardens throughout the thirteen municipalities that comprise the Amalfi Coast.

In honor of its cloistered past, Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel retains the services of its resident Franciscan friar. Fra Marcus serves as a beneficent guide to the hidden secrets of the convent’s 13th-century chapel and its adjacent cloisters with its Norman-Arab loggia. Born in Germany and

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Original church at Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel (photo by Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel)

Cloisters courtyard at Anantara Convento Di Amalfi Grand Hotel (photo by Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel)

schooled in Italy, Fra Marcus has spent four decades on the Amalfi Coast, primarily in Ravello where he leads guests through a tour of the medieval cliffside town and its Baroque church built in 1222 by Saint Francis of Assisi. Blessed with a memory for historical detail offered with a sly sense of humor, Fra Marcus is beloved throughout the town, and a walk beside him includes a healthy dose of local gossip served with several scoops of gelato.

My fascination with Ravello has always been associated with the writer Gore Vidal who first arrived in 1948 alongside Tennessee Williams before settling there in 1972 in his cliffside villa La Rondinaia (or the Swallow’s Nest). Vidal quickly became Ravello’s most famous citizen, as celebrated for his charitable works and his writing as he was for his prodigious sex life, the rumors of which were fueled in part by Vidal himself. One has only to witness the ongoing parade of pulchritude during high season in Ravello to recognize Vidal’s good fortune in settling amongst so many beautiful people.

Vidal’s choice of Ravello as his home was in keeping with the town’s reputation as a cultural haven for artists such as D.H. Lawrence, Virginia Woolf, Richard Wagner, E.M. Forster, Henry Moore, and T.S. Eliot and the guest list at Vidal’s La Rondinaia includes everyone from Princess Margaret to Nureyev, Mick Jagger, Andy Warhol, and Hillary Clinton, as well as numerous nameless beautiful youths.

According to Fra Marcus, Vidal was a frequent guest at the bar Al San Domingo on Piazza Duomo where a photograph shows him contentedly sipping coffee while reading a newspaper. Back at Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel, I took a page from Vidal’s book and adopted the same position on the terrace of my suite, which included two chaises longues, a dining table for four, and a private jacuzzi overlooking the panoramic vistas of the Amalfi Coast.

Furnished in the clean lines of Italian Mediterranean style, the rooms and suites at Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel feature terra cotta tile floors, vaulted ceilings, lime-washed walls, and wooden closets. The expansive marble bathrooms include soaking tubs and an abundance of Acqua di Parma toiletries. Italian espresso machines make it easy to follow Vidal’s lead and sit in mesmerized silence while the sirens call from the nearby archipelago of Le Sirenuse.

At the hotel’s restaurant Dei Cappuccini, Chef Lanuto offers a five-course tasting menu with wine pairing that is available in the sumptuous dining room or by candlelight on the terrace overlooking the glittering lights of Amalfi. Fragranced with lemons and oranges, the balmy evening air and a glass of rosé Champagne proves a seductive complement to Lanuto’s culinary mastery. Amberjack tartare, followed by Main corridor at Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel (photo by Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel)

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spaghettone with lemon and smoked buffalo butter, each successive course a lesson in the pleasures of Italian cuisine. For dessert, the chef sent out a three-course finale of tiramisu, vanilla baba, and his signature lemon Bavarian made with the local sfusato Amalfitano, accompanied by limoncello.

Fortunately, the hotel’s cliffside steps into the town of Amalfi provide a perfect fifteenminute regimen for walking off gastronomic indulgences. For years, mules carried supplies to and from the convent via the steps into Amalfi which number in excess of two hundred. Bear in mind, there’s no question that it’s easier going down than climbing back to the hotel, yet much of the pleasure of the walk derives from the glimpses of local life along the narrow stairs, followed by the arrival into the hustle and bustle of Amalfi’s central square.

After the serenity and calm at Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel, it’s somewhat surprising to see so many people in the many shops and cafes and gelaterias. Apart from limoncello, and lemon gelato, one of the best local products is charta bambagina, also known as Amalfi paper, a lovely type of paper produced in Amalfi since the Middle Ages and used for private correspondence and legal documents. Purchase some to write your holiday thank-you notes.

Once the high season has passed on the Amalfi Coast, it has been tradition for the majority of hotels to close from November through March. Fortunately, due to a special dispensation from the municipality, Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel remains open throughout the holidays, all the way through mid-January.

During the festive season, the hotel hosts numerous holiday events and experiences, including a Christmas Market in the Cloisters, a Master Class on Amaro with Fra Marcus, a visit from Santa and the Christmas tree lighting, and a New Year’s Eve Gala, followed by various regenerative wellness treatments at Anantara Spa. Who needs Times Square when you can have the entire Amalfi Coast twinkling through the night?

On my last night at Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel, I stood in silent wonder on my terrace, as mesmerized as Odysseus might have been. Something as beautiful as the Amalfi Coast feels like the closest that many of us will ever get to an earthly paradise.

■

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Driving along the Amalfi Coast (photo by Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel)

Dell Eremita Suite with terrace and Jacuzzi at Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel (photo by Anantara Convento di Amalfi Grand Hotel)

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