Apollonia Vanova Issue

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METANOIA June /July 2012 Edition

Apollonia Vanova

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“Lullabies”

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METANOIA EXECUTIVE AND STAFF

A NEW WAY OF THINKING

PUBLISHERS

SALME JOHANNES LEIS & ALLISON PATTON

COPY CHIEF

CALEB NG JR LEIS AND HEINO LEIS

EXECUTIVE DIRECTORS

DAL FLEISCHER

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF MARKETING

DAN DENIS

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

GALINA BOGATCH

PHOTO ARCHIVIST CONTRIBUTORS

Maureen Bader Alex Barberis Andy Belanger Donald J. Boudreaux Tim Brown Brian Croft Miki Dawson Cheryl Gauld Kulraj Gurm Marilyn Hurst Hank Leis Salme Leis Chris MacClure Seth Meltzer Caleb Ng Janice Oleandros Allison Patton Cara Roth Kaela Scott Pepe Serna Christina Reid

On The Cover: Apollonia Vanova, Photographer Benjamin James Ayres Inside (Grandy Chu Article): A very special thanks to Showcase Piano’s for providing the location, & Photographer Dan Denis METANOIA MAGAZINE is a publication of METANOIA CONCEPTS INC. For questions, comments, or advertising contact by Phone: 604 538 8837, Email: metanoiamagazine@gmail.com, Mail: 3566 King George Blvd, Surrey, BC, Canada, V4P 1B5 2 METANOIA


METANOIA CONTENTS

A NEW WAY OF THINKING

4 5 6 10 12 14 17 18 20 22 28 32 33

Executive Summary Metanoia Apollonia Vanova Meeting a World Class Economist

More & more to discover Who we are Lullabies By Seth Meltzer

The Gallery

Out & about with Metanoia

Grandy Chu

Benefit Concert for Scholarship

Dal Fleischer The Studio Peter Daniels Finding the little Girl Drago Adams Story of Perserverance Missives

Visits The Galapagos By Marilyn Hurst Artist, Actor and Survivor By Miki Dawson Former Rangers Hockey player, and businessman By Seth Meltzer From Donald J Boudreaux METANOIA 3


EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

Apollonia Vanova

We welcome back Apollonia Vanova to the fold. She was one of our first cover-people when Metanoia Magazine was in its infancy. Apollonia had just finished acting in the movie “The Watchmen”. Since then so much has changed with our magazine and with Apollonia.

Our man in the Galpagos Islands tells his story of visiting the place where Darwin formulated his thesis on evolution. Dal Fleischer is the constant traveller, and he is always bringing us stories from other parts of the world. We all envy his freedom to go wherever, whenever. Peter Daniels, an artist and actor from White Rock, BC has an unconventional story to tell. We are all ordinary until something happens when we no longer are.

Dal Fleischer visits the Galapgos

Grandy Chu shares with us her muscial experience and invites you to her benefit concert for scholarship. Seth Meltzer our contributor from Albany, NY has two stories to tell. One story is about Nick Pizza from Deltona, Florida and the other an interview of Donald J Boudreaux, the professor of economics from George Mason University, in Fairfax, Virginia. At last, professor Boudreaux who professes in his letters to the editor comes out with his own book, in bookstores (almost) everywhere. Our own Miki Dawson writes about finding “the little girl” in her journey through life. A must read. Of course there is more and we leave the magazine in your hands to search, and discover. Happy Metanoia!

Grandy Chu 4 METANOIA

Miki Dawson


METANOIA

METANOIA

By Hank Leis

March/April 2012 Edition

The Greek origins of the word Metanoia [met-uh-noiuh] convey the notion of an experience or a moment that is transformative. In fact the change itself would be so remarkable as to shift paradigms and these shifts actually would cause a change in behavior and ultimately the consequences of those behaviors. The articles in this magazine are intended to introduce a different way of thinking so that ideas and notions we take for granted can be reframed in such a way as to renew our life by making it more interesting, challenging and rewarding.

A

NEW WAY OF THINKING

METANOIA METANO METANOIAmagazine METANOIA METANOIA

Many of us have abandoned our intelligence, our ability to think, our various gifts for being able to create and instead joined the masses whose only goal is to perpetuate the species and dwell in a complacent and apathetic state amounting to nothing more than mere existence.

magazine

WILL JOHN CUMMINS BE ABLE TO CHANGE BC’S POLITICAL LANDSCAPE?

Thank you for 10 years

The Rant

Present

We at Metanoia believe we are all capable of more than that and more importantly are able to generate epiphanous moments for you. We hope that our plethora of deepthinking writers will be able to transform your life into something meaningful and wondrous. Every one of us, to a varying degree, has experienced these moments and most of us who have been so transformed are driven to rediscovering the process that first allowed us our enlightened clarity of mind.

Vancouver Is Burning

the December 7

Steve Nash Christmas Bash

DECEMBER 2011 SPECIAL EDITION

June 2011

CAND Health Fusion Issue

An Interview with

George P. Shultz

cont. METANOIA

METANOIA 778-788-0073/604-542-5213 jninkovich@stevenashsportsclub.com

magazine July 2011

TOUR DE WHITE ROCK

THE RANT

Events list & schedule

Betty Mobley

GEORGE SHULTZ PART 3 Interview with a Statesman

2011 METANOIA METANOIA Media Kit

In the last decade, scientific advancements have given insights into human phenomena that were previously thought science fiction, such as the viral theory as a contributing factor in the feeling of “love”. Anthropologists may have noticed nuances in human behavior early in our development, but these scientific discoveries now actually explain the physiology of “metanoic thinking”. Our own behaviors are being re-examined in light of these discoveries about brain function, and in particular that our usual way of thinking leads us to our usual results. Moreover mostly we do not think- but react- not unlike reptiles- and this process does not always serve us well.

Daughter of Texas

La lumiere d’une Chandelle

METANOIA 2011

WeThank You For 10 Years!

METANO Media Kit

magazine

Man is evolving, and more and more the primitive fears that govern our behaviors are being discovered to be limiting rather than opportunistic. What man is discovering about himself is what our revolution is all about; the beast within will soon be quelled and what will emerge is anybody’s guess.

Individually, the context of one man within a population of seven billion suggests his insignificance – let alone a lifetime in the span of eternity. And yet we still have this narcissistic sense that our existence is of tremendous relevance. And while there may be something to this belief, how do these enormous discrepancies in size and time fit together to explain the relevance of this epic story? Simplified, what is the relevance of man making a living to pay for food and shelter to the formula E=mc2. Our mission, certainly for Metanoia is to explore all those ideas, and to change ourselves and you in pursuit of this intelligence. To put it another way, we want your brain to be engaged in way it never has been before. Are you ready for the challenge?

2011 Media Kit

METANOIA magazine

The New Face of BC Politics President of the BC Conservatives White Rock-Surrey Constituency Association

Dr. Allison Patton, MBA

Naturopathic Medicine Week 2011 May 9-15

March 2011

METANOIA February/March 2012 Edition

2011 Media Ki magazine Special Fall 2011 Edition

Pepe Serna Actor, Artist & Motivational Speaker The Scarface Anniversary what it was like on set

2011 Media K METANOIA 5


Apollonia Vanova Interview by Salme Leis

When we first interviewed her we were Mountainview Messenger. It’s been 3 years and much has changed for both of us. When we first spoke, we got to talk about her birthplace of Communist Czechoslovakia, and how that experience lead to her creative aspirations. “Escaping communism was very scary for my parents, but for me as a child it was a fun experience. We were in Yugoslavia, living in a refugee camp and later we moved into a hotel, while we waited for immigration papers. We did all sorts of crazy things with other kids. We made costumes from the drapes and the bed sheets (the hotel management wasn’t impressed with this) and put on a fully staged production of Snow White in the lobby. We made posters and to our surprise we had a full audience.” We also talked about her other creative endeavors as a sculptor, and fitness model; a graduate from Emily Carr and placing 3rd in the Fame 2008 Bikini Model competition. Apollonia was an astonishing and exciting discovery for Metanoia. Not only an exotic beauty, but with a strange and dark insightful mind. Apollonia is the kind of person who leaves you with a perspective that is both inspiring and edgy. We are excited to open yet another chapter in Apollonia’s mysterious and majestical life and share it with our readers.

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METANOIA 7


“The little girl represents me and every other child… the cub represents my love, my art and passion”

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ur receptionist let me know Apollonia had arrived at our office. As I approach her in the hall, I can see her looking at the past Metanoia covers on the wall. She stands at 5’9, but looks much taller because of her slender petite frame. Her sleek black bob is tucked under a cap and the leopard turtleneck and black pants she is wearing accentuate her tiny frame. She is a strange mix of fierceness and elegance, a cross between Betty Page and Audrey Hepburn. Her eyes are narrowing in on one particular cover of George Shultz, former Secretary of State to president Ronald Reagan) where he stands with a tiger on a leash in his office. She asks me about the photo and seems particularly interested in the tiger. This, being our third time meeting, she still contains herself in an aloof, exotic mystique. As we sit down in my office we start talking about how much life has changed. Her mood is calm and warm. She looks as if she is about to share something incredibly personal and delicate. She begins, “ It all began when I held my newborn niece in my embrace for the very first time. Not having any children of my own, I felt a bit awkward when she let out a cry, so I decided to sing a lullaby out of nervousness more than anything else. She stopped crying as I rocked her and sang to the skyline but once our eyes met, her vulnerability was the key that opened my soul. She didn’t seem to care what I was singing, or if I forgot the lyrics. Her eyes were fixed on mine, quietly absorbed in my presence and mesmerized by my sound. The walls of doubt, idealism and expectation came tumbling down as her innocence set me free. And in that moment, an openness swelled in my heart where I felt perfect with all the imperfections.” 8 METANOIA

The CD entitled “Lullabies” is a compilation of 13 lullabies from all over the world, written by classical and contemporary composers. It is an artistic lullaby album for infants and adults alike. The album began as an answer for her sister’s quest for lullaby songs that didn’t have the predictable “annoyingly tinny electronic sound of children’s instruments or the big orchestral sounds of classical CD’s.” And it became much more than that for Apollonia. The Lullaby CD was performed, financed and produced by Apollonia, a project that turned into her child. “At times it was very, very exhausting. I had to be the producer and the artist.” This was challenging because the approach for both is very different and a contrast. The ‘artist’ has a vision and wants it to be perfect while the ‘producer’ needs to be efficient, resourceful and wants to cut costs. Taking on all creative roles presented Apollonia with new challenges as a first time recording artist that she has never faced before. “The artist in me wanted to indulge and do as many takes as I could, but the other part (producer/financer) needed to be efficient, organized and stay within the budget.” The album was recorded with three instruments Viola, Harp and Piano and then of course Apollonia’s voice. Being trained as an opera singer, she found it difficult at first to find her voice within the lullaby. “It had to be soft and yet carry the same power as my operatic voice. It wasn’t easy because I practiced the songs using the big voice. Then in the studio, the big sound was not very lulling and I had to pull it back; but then I couldn’t sustain it because it was too soft, so I was cracking and wobbling all over the place. There were countless studio sessions where I didn’t like my voice. But, once I found my voice I discovered it was a much better place for me to sing. I think every singer should hear themselves


back. Having to go through the process of recording in a studio was one of my best learning experiences.” In search of her voice and being her own unscrupulous judge she came to the realization that striving for the perfect sound was not what she wanted. “I was searching for perfection, but then I thought of the first time I sang to my niece and came to the conclusion I didn’t want it to be perfect. I am not perfect - no one is. I want it to be human.” Much like everything Apollonia does nothing is without significance or introspection. On the album cover there is a picture of a little girl sleeping with a lion cub, photographed by John Drysdale. “The little girl represents me and every other child… the cub represents my love, my art and passion”, she says. When Apollonia was a teenager, she bought a lynx kitten from a fur farm and ended up moving to live in the woods so that she could live with him and take care of him. “He was my inspiration in life. I felt that if I provided him with what he needed as a lynx, we would have an amazing relationship and we did. We would hike through the wilderness, and sometimes I would let him go so that he could hunt. He got to do and got to live as a lynx.” Old age had left him with many tumors, which is very common for animals who exceeded their life expectancy and on March 2011, he died. “When the vet told me it was time to let him go, I knew that I had to be the one who put in the needle, I didn’t want anyone to take his life because he was my cat. I bottle fed him, I raised him and I was not going to abandon him in death. As he laid there, I sang him my lullaby like I would so many times before and it was very peaceful. I felt him go and it was just the two of us - so intimate. Then I buried him in the woods, in a special spot where he would often go and lay down.” Life and death played a big role during the creation of the lullaby CD, from the joyful birth of her niece to the

Apollonia and her lynx, Atlas.

death of her lynx, whom she often regarded as her child. A lot of the lullabies chosen for the CD have lyrics that speak of the imminent dangers of death and hardships of life, all while celebrating and protecting new life. “This lullaby CD was made during the most vulnerable time of my life. I understood unconditional love on a whole new level and wanting to protect it, was just so......so primal. ” For Apollonia art and life always seems to contain so much of who she is. “Vulnerability is what make us different, no?’ It’s a scary place, but it can make you stronger and you learn from it. As long as you go through it and you don’t stay there, its a re-birth”. From making her CD to losing one of her most loved allies she has learned a lot. “You have to be realistic about your self and your limitations. When I heard myself in play back, I didn’t always like what I heard because it didn’t match my ideal in my mind. And that was scary. But once I accepted the imperfections, my limitations and vulnerabilities, I was able to learn, work with it and find a different kind of beauty. Same thing with losing my lynx - I loved him so much and was afraid of what would happen but once I stopped fighting the inevitable death, and just accepted that as a reality, the process - although painful- had left me with a strange beauty and peaceful resolve.” Falling for Apollonia is quite easy. She always brings something unique and interesting to our conversations. For Metanoia Apollonia is a rarity, and we are pleased to announce the release of her Lullaby CD on July 2012, and share a link to her website www.apolloniavanova.com so we can follow her exciting journey wherever it takes her next. Album Cover Photo: By John Drysdale Lullabies is released July 2nd. Get your copy at www.apolloniavanova.com or www.cdbaby.com.

METANOIA 9


An hour with a world-class (but down-to-earth) economist By Seth Meltzer

Donald Boudreaux is a world-class professor of economics at George Mason University (which already has two Nobel Peace Prize winners among its faculty alumni). You may know him from his publications found all over the internet, or you’ve seen him as a frequent guest on the Fox News channel, or possibly you already receive his Daily Letters to the Editor that he’s been sending for over 20 years (some of which are featured in our Missives section of this magazine). One of the most interesting things I discovered is that his plan in the early days was to pursue a career in the shipyard industry. Living and working in southern Louisiana in the late 1970s he worked at the shipyard Tuesday and Thursday and took classes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It was during his first economics class that he discovered his love for the subject matter as well as began to discover himself as a supporter of the free market, today what we call a libertarian. Mentored early on by a free market professor at the school he studied about the fuel shortages of the ‘70s and learned how the government was preventing commodity pricing from rising to market clearing levels which in turn resulted in shortages. This was a current event that frustrated and perplexed him and he was overjoyed to learn the economics behind the inaccurate and sometimes misleading news coverage. He studied classic free market economics like Milton Friedman, Friedrich Hayek, and others. Mr. Boudreaux has always felt strongly about the importance of providing basic economic insights to the general population. He feels that economists have been very good at expanding the frontiers of our knowledge of how the economy works but generally pretty poor at explaining to the general public the basic aspects of the discipline that have been known for over 200 years. Motivated by his frustration at watching what he calls the “inexcusable lack of knowledge of basic economics of pundits, politicians, and the general public, many of whom write letters to the editor” he started writing letters to the editor himself in the mid 1980s. Many have been published in national newspapers and thousands more sent out to his large distribution list of friends and followers who appreciate his uncanny ability to cleverly and concisely point out the hypocrisies that we see play out daily in print and on TV. Many people today know of libertarianism’s most visible front-man Congressman Ron Paul of Texas, but don’t really understand what the movement is all about. Mr. Boudreaux explains that although libertarianism is not a political view, there are political aspects to it. At its heart it’s a philosophy about the relationship between citizens and the state and about how society should be organized. In general it’s about a very limited government role in the lives of its citizens. Oddly enough Mr. Boudreaux doesn’t like the term “libertarian,” he considers himself a “liberal” using the original meaning of the word meaning an abundance of freedoms both personally and economically. However he doesn’t use that description because in politics today “liberals” tend to want 10 METANOIA

to control more, they generally want more regulation and bigger government. He never considers himself a “conservative.” He says that those who believe in a “conservative” society feel they should revere the past because it’s the past, he says “you don’t want to throw it out because it’s old but also you don’t want to keep it just because it’s old.” There are many conservative issues he doesn’t support, for example he says marriage shouldn’t be limited to heterosexual couples, and it’s not necessarily because he supports the idea of homosexual couples marrying it’s because he doesn’t feel it’s the state’s business regardless. We discussed drug use. In spite of the United States spending countless billions going back to the early ‘70s Mr. Boudreaux feels that people should be free to ingest whatever they choose. He quotes Milton Friedman “government has no more reason to regulate what goes in your mouth as they do to regulate what comes out of your mouth.” As I mentioned he has a way of pointing out interesting ideas: he says that modern American liberals feel that here at home the government is trustworthy. Their instinct is to trust the government to redistribute wealth, regulate diets to make people eat better and therefore live healthier lives, provide health insurance but by and large when operating abroad the government is run by a corrupt military industrial complex that can’t be trusted. Conversely he points out that the typical American conservative believes that while acting abroad the government is noble and largely above corruption, very effective, trustworthy, however while dealing with domestic affairs it’s corruptible, subject to special interest groups, and wasteful. To that end Mr. Boudreaux asks rhetorically “So I can’t trust the government to regulate my diet but I can trust the government to rebuild a new government in Afghanistan?” We talked about his feelings about the future of the United States. He says that when traveling abroad people don’t talk about liberty like we do here in the states. In Europe they talk about equality, security, and many other values that we hold dear but in the United States the words “freedom” and “liberty” are in many more conversations. “It’s something in the air here, the fact that even left wing radicals feel obliged to use the word “liberty” says something very positive about our American society.” As always I finish with goals: “Do what I can to add to the stock of human kind’s explanation of basic economics.” Donald Boudreaux’s latest book Half Wits & Hypocrites available July 2012 online at www.amazon.com and at your local bookstore. Seth Meltzer is an entrepreneur based in Albany, NY. After a year of courting a very successful international businessman, known as Heino, in 2010 he thought he finally had an investor to fund his real estate projects. It wasn’t to be. The man offered teaching instead… and maybe money one day when the student is ready.


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HALFWITS

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Without swearing allegiance to any party or ideology, Boudreaux takes aim at pundits and politicos on the left, right, and everywhere in between. He tackles issues ranging from “lookism” in the office and the futility of border walls to naïve faith in alternative energy and the all-too-common tendency to trust a fallible and ever-expanding government.

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best letters, provides intelligent, witty rejoinders to questions like these:

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METANOIA 11


The Gallery Metanoia out & about

with Laureen Harper

JR Leis with Laureen Harper Pepe Serna

Allison Patton, Wade Davis & Salme Leis

with Patrick Moore

with Linda Bellamy and Stockwell Day 12 METANOIA

with Pamela Wallin

Pepe Serna at 2012 National Latino Film Showcase Awards along with Martin Sheen; 2011 presidential Medal of Freedom recipient, Delores Huerta; and Edward James Olmos.


Chemosensitivity Testing An Individualized Approach in the Treatment of Cancer By Dr Caleb Ng, ND Cancer is a diagnosis that is often overwhelming. To many, the information or advice that is suddenly available whether it is given by a doctor or sought out on the internet can be voluminous and confusing. One estimate has stated that the amount of medical information doubles every five years. Even with professional guidance and the amount of research that exists how does one know “What’s good for me?” There is a new diagnostic tool that I have recently incorporated into my practice to assist patients in determining which treatments may offer more benefit over others in the management or treatment of cancer. In research it is called Cell Culture Drug Resistance Testing (CCDRT), but many know it as Chemosensitivity testing. As the name suggests, chemosensitivity testing shows the response of cancer cells isolated from a patient’s own tissue or blood sample to identify which chemotherapy drugs are more or less likely to work. Although this may not be an identical to what occurs inside an individual it may provide some direction in the selection of drugs without exposure to the person. This type of testing is also available to natural supplements and therapies allowing a more targeted approach. Excluding external and environmental factors such as smoking or excessive sun-exposure, we have discovered that there are various internal genetic factors that affect the development and growth of cancer cells. This information should not be discouraging, but rather encouraging in the fact that this also provides various opportunities for combating and managing this disease. To add another dimension, there is also information that can be derived from chemosensitivity testing that can measure a person’s own cancer-fighting immune responses to different medicines. The reason why this diagnostic test has become an important part of my practice is because there are numerous vitamins, minerals, plant-based medicines, and novel compounds touting their benefits in the treatment of cancer: some showing anecdotal evidence

and some even showing published research data. Even with a constant review of the literature and complete medical history of a patient customization can be an issue. Chemosensitivity testing has been around for two decades, yet remains relatively unknown to the public. In Canada, we do not have any laboratories that provide this service and must rely on American or European labs. Although this type of testing is considered controversial, the trend appears to be that more labs are providing this service and more integrative oncology clinics and centers are utilizing chemosensitivity testing. As we are always striving to find the “cure for cancer” knowing that there are numerous types of cancers with different characteristics, the solution may not be in a single drug or procedure, but in a comprehensive strategy that addresses the individual. Chemosensitivity testing may not be helpful in all cases of cancer, but it does provide a tool in tailoring treatment in many of them and more importantly it can be empowering in a situation where many have felt that their options were limited. Dr. Ng is a naturopathic physician with a practice focus in integrative oncology. He provides lectures and advice for members of the Surrey Prostate Cancer Canada Network at Surrey Memorial Hospital. Dr. Ng is also a member of the North American Oncology Association of Naturopathic Physicians and provides consulting and Cell Culture and Drug Resistance Testing (Chemosensitvity Testing) for his patients. To book an appointment with Dr. Ng call the Mountainview Wellness Centre at 604.538.8837.

METANOIA 13


Young Pianists Present Benefit Concert For Scholarship It is early July, one of the hottest days of the year. The sun baked down on the streets, sending the little animals squirreling away to the nearest shades. Onto the quiet street, poured the elegant sounds of Bach’s English Suite from the Chu household. “I practiced all summer long,” recalled Grandy Chu, a young, local pianist. “While my friends and siblings were out enjoying their summer break, I was putting in my five hours a day, perfecting my art.” Sitting at a 6’4” polished white Fazioli grand piano, Chu remembers the time when she, then still a high school student, prepared for her ARCT Piano Performance Diploma. “No doubt it was a big challenge, especially at a young age, and one of my proudest achievements... What do you know, hard work pays off,” she chuckled. Hard work, indeed, is imperative for achievement in the performing arts discipline. In Canada, under the Royal Conservatory of Music system, students conclude every level of their studies with a practical exam, which provides feedback for whether he has fully mastered the level’s techniques and musical ideas. After the completion of grade 10 qualification, a candidate may then pursue the same route as Chu and complete their ARCT; however, many at this junction decide against it. The reasons are not hard to see. “It’s tough! Sure, getting your grade 10 is an impressive feat; But after spending years to achieve such a high level, you’re on the door step of this ARCT, which is a universally recognised achievement of professionalism and excellence”, Chu explained, “As both a student and a teacher, I want to encourage others making this decision to take on this challenge”. That is why Chu has joined talents with five other young pianists to present a benefit concert, that would raise funds for a $2,000 annual scholarship, helping students overcome the second big challenge of continued music studies: the finances. The ARCT exam alone has a price tag exceeding $600, let alone the lessons and written theory requirements that accompanies the list of requisites to complete the diploma. “Many local festivals offer small cash prizes of $30$100, which often barely pays the entry fee. This sizable scholarship would help send our message, that we understand the true burden of this commitment, and we would make serious efforts to help others realize their goals”, Chu added. The concert will be held on Sunday, June 24th, 7:00 PM, at the Evergreen Cultural Centre in Coquitlam. Presented alongside Moscow Conservatory Doctor of Music Anna Levy, the program features a diverse collection, from Baroque all the way up to 20th century music. Online tickets and more information about the event can be found at www.YariloMusic.com.


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Presented alongside Moscow Conservatory Doctor of Music, Anna Levy, this concert promises to be a rare and exciting spectacle, covering diverse musical genres, from the delicate Baroque of J.S. Bach, to the romantic harmonies of Chopin, to the bold beauty of Rachmaninoff. The evening will be completed with delicious Thai style hors d’oeuvres from our sponsor caterer. ca

This event is generously sponsored by:

METANOIA 15


ATTENTION REAL ESTATE INVESTORS:

OPPORTUNITY

IS EVERYWHERE WHEN YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT! LEARN TO MAXIMIZE OPPORTUNITIES IN A DOWN REAL ESTATE MARKET WITH A GROUP OF LIKE MINDED INVESTORS. WHAT IS ACTION INVESTOR NETWORK ALL ABOUT? t Monthly meetings to facilitate real estate transactions between members, as well as real estate networking/mentoring t Guest speakers at the meetings that help you learn and grow your business t Vendors that educate us and provide group discounts t Legal, financial, and contractor assistance available to members at meetings t Making contact with like-minded people that may become your business partners... and friends for life!

Meetings Held in Albany, NY

For More Information Log On To:

16 METANOIA

www.AlbanyInAction.org


The Galapagos Islands

By Dal Fleischer

You can see what Charles Darwin saw and understand his theories of evolution. This chain of remote volcanic islands, is in the Pacific, 1,000 kilometres off the coast of Ecuador. One end of the chain emerged from the sea about 8 million years ago the other end is still being formed. The middle islands are a million years old. The islands are far enough apart to make interbreeding of land-based species almost impossible. The terrain and flora of the islands vary considerably as determined by their age. The older islands are covered in varied flora including trees, bush and grasses. The youngest islands are rugged sharp volcanic formations with little or no flora. The middle islands are predominantly covered with cactus and weathered volcanic rock. The evolution of species, in order to thrive despite the environment, is easy to see in many plants and animals. There are giant tortoise, sea lions, marine and land iguanas, sharks, equatorial penguins, turtles, and countless species of colourful birds and fish. Darwin studied the birds (finches), I like the iguanas. On the treed islands the iguanas have learned to climb trees in order to eat foliage. On the cactus covered islands the iguanas wait patiently for the cactus fruit to fall. On the barren islands, the iguanas have learned to swim and survive in a tropical ocean in order to eat seaweed. The adaptations required to climb trees, thrive in a desert and dive in a salty equatorial sea are diverse and fun to discover. I hope you have an opportunity to visit this fascinating destination and that you enjoy it as much as I did. Dal

METANOIA 17


THE STUDIO By Marilyn Hurst

the art before it had even been shown to the public, but of course without this direct support the artist couldn’t continue the work. As an aside, just as one could not judge an artist’s life by a piece or two shown in a gallery, the accumulated years of work in the studio will provide a platform explore the breadth, expansion and direction the artist is working towards. The studio also is the heartbeat in an artists’ life. Worldly affairs are left outside while the current of creative energy is allowed to flow unimpeded to express what and where it will, either in creating, discussing or exploring aspects of art. As this energy is common to all, even though not always expressed, this would be one of the main reasons why art is such an important aspect of life. When you find a piece of work which speaks to you, this resonance connects you with your own creative energy flow and a “romance” of sorts is born. This is why it is so important to fill your home with art---it does wonders to mitigate the manufactured/decorated effect and gives a personal feeling to your home.

Standing in front of Van Gogh’s painting of his studio in the National Gallery in London; I’m struck by power of color more than the image itself. The stark contrast of subject matter, blinding color and the raw emotion of his pallet overwhelm me. Behind me, someone says “don’t know what the big deal is, he wasn’t very good was he? I mean look, you can even see the canvas underneath the painting!” Rather than turning to confront him, it suddenly occurred to me that this was what Van Gogh and all the others of his time, well for all time actually, were up against as artists. The creative spirit is a much maligned and misunderstood entity. This movement of energy in the heart and soul is meant to be expressed or intense suffering results. Like a river, the energy flows and winds its way through the nooks and crannies of our being and as we are creative beings, expressing this energy is as unique as a finger print and our own personal expression is our gift to our personal world. Unfortunately, we have not been taught to understand or honor this creativity and instead we buy into commonly held belief systems taught for centuries that we have to “earn a living by the sweat of our brow”, do meaningless tasks, chores and jobs that push creativity away or dam it up in order to “do” something else more “practical” with our time. And, as often as not, this energy is used not for enhancing our lives, but for more destructive purposes. We don’t have to look far to see where this has taken us. Regrettably, art is much misunderstood and therefore considered out of reach by most people. This assumption is not helped by “art critics” who drone on in terms unintelligible to the average person or the media which only spotlights the extreme expressions of “art or culture”. Art collecting is thought to be the exclusive domain of the rich and famous and a normal person who likes art is intimidated often by snooty galleries or so-called art experts. For centuries the artists’ studio has been the one place where collectors, art appreciators and dealers could go to discuss the work in person. Often collectors snapped up

18 METANOIA

My partner, artist Chris MacClure and I opened a working studio in Cabo San Lucas, Baja, back in 1997 and amazingly over the next 13 years it morphed into the premier gallery in Los Cabos, with over 16 world class artists in our stable. Working in a third world country took its toll on our creativity and we moved back home to White Rock full time in 2010. Casting around for a place to hang our hat, we decided White Rock was the best place to be. We have some history here, we love the city and we found the perfect location across from the iconic whaling wall at 15177 Russell St. Named after our gallery in Cabo, THE GOLDEN CACTUS STUDIO, is the quintessential working studio. We feature our own work as well as a 3D glass/multi media artist Trish Pollock. We’ll offer classes, talks and the coffee is always on for art lovers wanting to feel something of the studio life and of course art galore at studio prices!


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Peter Daniels By Hank Leis

Peter Daniels is in all appearances a sweet and friendly guy. He does not appear to be the kind of individual who would find himself at the centre of one of British Columbia’s most violent prison riots and the object of threats to his life by notorious criminals. Peter found himself trapped in the macabre world that exists between crime and punishment, having to choose between doing the right thing and being killed or the wrong thing and being himself incarcerated by the system. A year after teaching at St. Michael’s University School in Victoria B.C. he began to teach art at Matsqui Institution, (a correctional institute) in Abbotsford British Columbia. He enjoyed his rapport with the prisoners, became accustomed to what once for him had been a surreal setting to work in, and soon found himself friends with the many inmates he taught. But in 1981, this gentle young man, awoke one night with a premonition of a prison disturbance outside his workshop in the institution. He mentioned it to his mentor,(an elderly Christian Mystic), and her reply was that “Christ doesn’t work by foretelling the future. That a dream is only a real vision when it happens!” With that Peter pushed the experience from his mind, not realizing the lunacy that surrounded him. Suddenly he was exposed to violence and destruction that his innocent and naïve mind could not have imagined. He was at the epicenter of the hurricane, witnessing events that kept him awake at night for many years. His students now on a rampage committed the kinds of atrocities on their fellow inmates that he could never have imagined. The horror and disappointment of failure surrounded him as he watched the melee of fire and violence. Police and Guards from the Army were brought in from outside the institution to quell the riots that spread from a kitchen food fight demonstration to a full blow-in get down and dirty prison riot with torching of rooms, toilets, sinks and beds being thrown off roof tops and helicopters rescuing prison staff from roofs, moltov cocktails exploding, and gun fire! At the end, 20 million dollars worth of damage was caused in eight hours and an inquiry into the disturbance was initiated. Peter was the Crown Witness. As if his troubles were not already enough, new ones emerged immediately. The inmates had associates on the outside of the prison, and they were not sensitive to the situation of our artist/ teacher. They informed Peter that if he were to testify, he would soon be found lifeless or extremely hurt. The cons 20 METANOIA

inside invited him to view a cell that was being repaired to Prison standards after the riot, where they showed a map of where his house was located with a floor plan of his home and the whereabouts of items that their associates had stolen from him while they broke and entered his home, (this was a threat for him not to testify against an inmate). Peter was a lover, not a fighter and found himself terrified and suspicious of those around him. At this point, Peter’s journey took a turn, the Christian Mystic by the name of Olga Park that he had aligned himself with illustrated to him how to keep himself out of harms way, by practicing prayer/meditation. This encounter would have implications as how he would live for the rest of his life. Olga Park who had traveled mystically back in time over 2000 years ago, into Giza the Great Pyramid of Egypt, was a writer who practiced automatic writing. Her epiphany was assisted by a seer from the beyond of ancient times, to translate “A Tapestry of the Fragments of the Life of Christ”. The recorded spoken word of the Master Jesus. Peter himself became part of the Society of the Mystical Communion of Christ, learning about John of Patmos, who wrote Revelations, and sharing with other students the metaphysical awareness of Christ (listening to the within, the intuition, the actually speaking of Christ). The practical side of the metaphysical helped calm his fears as he often visited Olga Park’s cottage on Burrard Inlet. Peter took on a spiritual countenance that remains with him to this day. The matter of having to make a choice between death or prison no longer worried him. The shift in awareness brought him peace, and his understanding of cause and effect enlightened him to be able to make better choices of not having to participate in the crass worlds of choices where one ugly thing had to be traded off for another. He was not prosecuted by the law, nor were there any further attempts on his life. He began now marching to a different beat of the drummer at the age of thirty-one. Peter Daniels today remains an artist, he also became an actor. He has met some of Hollywood’s most influential prolific actors and actresses over time, including Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Biel, Halle Berry, Beau Bridges, Pierce Brosnan, Penelope Cruz, Danny DeVito, Leslie Nielson, Al Pacino, Will Smith, Woody Harrelson, Robert Redford, and Renee Zellweger. Peter has performed some stunts, stand-in, voice over, background and principal work. He managed to interview Leslie Nielson, who gave him a half hour interview about his life as a Canadian who became an International actor. Along with Leslie, Peter worked close with Beau Bridges who commended him on his acting skills, as Al Pacino found him entertaining as a Seattle Policeman in 88 Minutes. He was seated next to Penelope Cruz for an evening on the film set, and found her to be rather attractive, as Jennifer Aniston proved to be a great business gal, and Rene Zellweger a determined special actress. Pierce Brosnan being a British actor (Irish Dream Works), was the most down to earth chap one could wish to work with. He shared his time off camera abundantly. Peter has captured the likeness of these individuals in watercolor and acrylic paints and his life is devoted to finding beauty and the love of the earth around him. 15585 Pacific Ave, White Rock Ph: 604-535-1004 whoa.peterdanielsfineart@telus.net www.peterdanielsfineart.com


METANOIA 21


FINDING THE LITTLE GIRL MY JOURNEY Written by Miki Dawson When I came to the Chatham Kent Women’s Centre ten years ago with my son, Kalyb, I was provided with shelter and enough tools to get me started on rebuilding my life. Several chapters of healing followed. When my son was six years old, I wanted to share my journey with him through a story he could understand. “The Butterfly Castle,” is my first self-published children`s book, relevant to all ages. As a gesture of gratitude, I have been sharing my book and making donations to places that made a difference to me. My heart’s mission returned me to Chatham Kent Women`s Centre in Ontario. I was invited to share my story through a presentation with the hopes of inspiring the volunteers and staff at this year’s Volunteer Appreciation 2012 Event. The following is my speech. When I was a little girl, I was painfully shy. I remember not wanting any adult or stranger to talk to me, give me anything, I didn’t want gifts or candies, because I knew my mom would make me say something dreadful like, “Hi” or “Thank you.” Now I stand; speaking in front of a large crowd of people for the very first time, instead of hiding behind my mom’s leg. My son, has also been very shy. Lucky for him, I understand how he feels, but like my mom, I encourage him to open himself up to others. It’s been beautiful to watch him grow. Four years ago, I wrote a children’s story for my son. I knew it was special and I considered having it published. The pages had spaces for pictures, but it took another year before I did the illustrations. I made a few photocopies and then they stood on our bookshelf at home for another two years. Finally I decided the day had come. So at the beginning of last summer, 2011, I took my little manuscript to the local printer and a few days later I proudly held what was only an idea a few years prior. One day, a couple of weeks after I printed my story, a local resident who was buying produce at a market in White Rock, noticed my book and contacted me. It turns out that he also puts together an online newspaper for White Rock and he asked me if he could meet with me. That story lead to a larger publication within White Rock and the surrounding area in a little paper called, The Source. I was on the front page. After that article was printed, a local newspaper called, The Peace Arch News, with an even larger distribution, contacted me and asked me for an interview. Each time, I would excitedly share the news with my mom and dad and send them their own personal copies to read. Since all of the local publicity, there are now ten places that sell my book. Instead of trying to find a proper publisher, I have been curious to see what would happen if I let my story take on its own life; with me humbly, lovingly, and patiently giving it space to grow. So that is what I have done. My education in writing is not impressive or newsworthy. I don’t use fancy or sophisticated language when I write or when I speak. My strength is simply knowing myself very well and speaking from my heart and personal experience, as a result of much solitude and introspection. 22 METANOIA

During my teens, the poetry I wrote was my way of working my problems out on paper with words. The same way I might solve a complicated math equation; until there was an answer, until it made sense. I would share this poetry with a few trusted friends. I still remember sitting in my girlfriend’s car and having her tell me with conviction that I was a Writer. At the time, I didn’t believe her, more importantly I didn’t believe in myself. This past Christmas, 2011, I wrote an article in a local magazine called, “Metanoia,” about my life and what inspired me to write my book. It was during a meeting with one of the magazine contributors that I was asked what my formal education and experiences were with regards to writing. He thought I had a unique and powerful style of expressing myself. I took his affirmation as a sign and nudge to pursue something that had only been an unfulfilled dream up until that point. During the month of my birthday, February, 2012, after the magazine article was published, I started putting together packages of books that I wanted to donate along with a copy of the magazine. I also wrote a letter explaining briefly, who I was, what the book was about, and why I chose that particular place to contact. I went beyond the boundaries of White Rock and back to my roots in Ontario. As a result, I was invited to share with the staff and volunteers of the Chatham Kent Women’s Centre, which was truly an honour for me. I was touring the Women’s Centre between some of the same walls that I had passed through about ten years ago, in much different circumstances. The centre has changed profoundly. All these improvements are important, as it is scary and intimidating enough to walk through those hallways for the first time. Yet it is through my experiences that without the people, the Women’s Centre would only be a building with secure doors, an institution. It is so much more than that. From the moment I passed through these new walls; I could see and feel all the positive details when approaching each and every woman and child holistically. Not only had the physical appearance transformed into something more beautiful and inviting, but the programs and services offered have evolved and grown to meet the different needs of each individual. It is a transformative labour of love, compassion and understanding. It’s sometimes challenging to know where the beginning


of a story is. As background, my parents had four children of their own and then they adopted four more from different families. Over the years when I tell people this, they seem really impressed with my parents. They say things like, “They must be very special people”. And they are. But I was raised on a farm and I used to joke around that they had so many kids so we could help with all the manual labour. When I was a year old, I was legally abandoned at an orphanage. From there I was moved into a foster home. I have two pictures of myself with my foster mom. They are the only two photographs that I have from Korea and the only evidence of life before Canada. Two months before turning three, I was taken from my foster mom to a place where everything was foreign, my world flipped upside down. When my son was little, I couldn’t imagine him going through what I had. It broke my heart to consider it and for the first time I had a better appreciation and compassion for myself at a time when no one could explain what was happening. It was then I realized the challenges of dealing with feelings I had no words for, except “Um-ma” which means, “Mom” in Korean. It’s the only word I repeated when I was escorted off the plane. Most of the memories my brothers and sisters have of me when I first came to their home involve crying; crying off the flight that delivered me, crying in the long car ride to the farm in a snowstorm, crying for weeks afterwards, and lots of crying uphill in both directions. I’m sure my siblings were questioning my parents’ decision to bring me into their lives. On the other hand, my mom thought crying was a healthy response taking into account all the changes in my life. It only took a few months for me to start speaking English. My mom shares stories with me where I seem to be figuring out my situation. I basically equated my, “Um-ma” with death which my mom thought could’ve been my foster mom. I recall asking my mom when I was four years old, if she knew anything about my birth mom. She didn’t. I remember looking away and pushing away my tears for it seemed too painful to cry in front of her. In my mind, I promised to move on and be the best daughter I could be to the only parents I knew. My son, Kalyb, is the only blood relative I know. It’s not better or worse, just different. I know when my oldest brother was killed in a car accident (he was my parents’ first son) I didn’t feel I had the same right to mourn his death. I kept that to myself and I felt I should keep my sadness away from the ‘real’ family members. It took a while, but I have learned that anybody or anything can be considered family and that my brothers and sisters eventually got over all my crying. I had become part of the Dawson zoo. I deeply love and appreciate the family who adopted me. It has had its dysfunction but I think abnormal is the new normal. Plus, it is generally understood that anything that happens in childhood gives people their sense of humour and keeps

therapists employed. I love my family, flaws and all. Since I was the only Asian-looking family member, I always knew I was adopted. Although I look a certain way, Korean, I feel like me, Miki, proudly Canadian and very much my own person. My connection is with people not continents. People will refer to me as being Asian or Korean and it has never registered with me. In fact, my gut rejects these labels. For as long as I can recall I wanted to be deserving of my new family. I didn’t want them to send me back. They were responsible for rescuing me from being an orphan. I never wanted them to regret their decision so I went out of my way to earn my place in the family, mostly achieved by doing chores without complaining or being asked and excelling in school. No one told me to do this and I never felt pressure from anyone else other than myself. Don’t get me wrong my childhood wasn’t just about school, housework or manual labour, although I truly enjoyed all three. I have many beautiful memories as a little girl in the country. My mom probably never knew what to expect when I’d walk back into the house after playing outside, oftentimes blood, bruises, burs, bites, rashes, sand and mud. Usually I was greeted with a smile and her sweet voice I still love so much, maybe her raised eyebrows; oftentimes gently stripped of my dirty clothes as she returned to pies and potatoes. She was always working. My mom has always been the rock in my family, steady and calm. Some of the best things I love about myself are because of her. After having a child of my own, I realize how difficult her decisions have been over the years with eight to raise. She is an incredible lady, strong and sweet. To this day, I confide in her through weekly phone calls and Canada Post. She knows me better than anybody else. My dad is the genius and comedian in my family. When I was a little girl and men used to scare me when I first came to Canada, it didn’t take long to realize my dad had a big heart which went along with his very big personality. Some say people can’t change, but I’ve witnessed my dad transform over the years and I am very proud of him. Whenever I want to make people laugh, I pull out one of several stories about my dad. He can also fix anything, usually utilizing unorthodox methods. Because of my dad, I always have duct tape and WD40 on hand. He swears by both and so do I. My dad has always been comfortable being the centre of attention with his jokes and booming laughs, even his sneezes turn heads. At these times my mom often handles her embarrassment with grace. With my mom around to guide him, my dad is well-dressed, colour coordinated, and relatively well-behaved on most occasions. In other words, METANOIA 23


despite their differences, my parents compliment each other. I have always known that I was brave and wise beyond my years and I’ll tell you why I say this. I have two older brothers who are close to me in age. When we were kids, I would play with them once in a while, although I preferred not to. One afternoon we were walking towards the beach through an area of the farm surrounded by tall grass, heavily populated with snakes, grasshoppers, and crickets. The three of us approached a snake that was sunning itself in our pathway. I was a few steps behind and I knew this would be a life-altering moment for me. I did not like snakes. I had a fear of anything without legs and anything with too many. I had no intention of letting my brothers know this. I saw how my one brother would torment my older sister who had a phobia of spiders, with any 8-legged creature he could find. It all flashed before my eyes, snakes waiting for me in bed, snakes being thrown at me, being tortured with anything that slithered. What did I do? I announced, “Ooooh a snake!” as I walked up to that snake and picked it up by its tail, holding it up for my brothers to see. I faced them with a smile. They were surprised to say the least. Victory for the youngest sister! Despite snakes and things with too many legs, my favourite times were spent outdoors on our beloved farm, surrounded by open spaces, water, and many forms of nature. Every square inch of the farm where I grew up holds memories of adventure, solitude, and discovery. I really loved and appreciated myself. My perspective about the world around me was full of wisdom and clarity. I saw life in a magical way. I was a very small old soul in bows and bare feet. Alas, this existence of innocence is fragile. Before my tenth birthday, life got very complicated, as it often does. I spent the next several chapters of my life trying to find that place I knew so well as a little girl. Part of my way of coping was becoming a perfectionist. I have come to realize that perfectionism is an addiction and not much fun. It is a tool used in order to avoid what seems too uncomfortable and too scary to face. It’s a way to control what seems manageable when other life events seem uncontrollable. Addiction creates a space. One way this manifested was through two different eating disorders; anorexia, I didn’t eat enough and bulimia, I ate too much. It took me the desire to heal from this to realize it had nothing to do with food. Every time I thought some situation, conflict, confrontation, loss, boredom, disappointment, and heartbreak was too much for me to handle, I would turn to something I could control. Traditionally people associate addiction with substances, particularly drugs and alcohol, but it’s been my discovery that a person can be addicted to anything including a Twinkie. An eating disorder threatened my sanity, my health and my life, but it has also given me a heavy dose of perspective and gratitude. I feel as though I have been released from a cage of my own creation. I understand now that in some

ways it helped me get through times that seemed too painful and overwhelming. Since then I have found better ways of coping so that I don’t threaten or sabotage myself in the process. Part of the journey of finding freedom from this addiction was forgiveness, releasing shame and regret so I could truly move onto nourishing and loving myself. Also, similar to an addiction, I must remain aware, acknowledge myself, stay as connected as possible, and let go of the original belief that I was unworthy, unloving, someone who could be easily abandoned, and something to be ashamed of. One result of my eating disorder and the issues it was masking was depression. When I was eighteen years old I took an overdose. I felt as though I was trapped in a charade and I was tired of it. I felt very alone. I tell you this story because in some ways I feel I have borrowed time from this moment in my life. In a delayed sense of regret, I decided to tell my mom what I had done to myself. Just like those times when I walked in from outside with blood running down my leg or a rash on my arms, she softly and efficiently took care of me. There was no judgement or anger, just a steady unconditional love. When I was in the hospital, I was in and out of consciousness. At one point, I saw my mom’s worried face looking back at me. I was so deeply sorry. I wanted to do anything I could to be better, to get better. I wanted to change the deep lines on my mom’s face. I was the little girl wanting to please her again. After a few more times of feeling suicidal, I was labelled as having chronic depression, which just sounds depressing. Because I was a perfectionist, I got it into my head that if I expressed my less than perfect emotions like anger or sadness, that somehow I would be less loveable and more likely to be rejected and abandoned as I so deeply feared as a little girl. Thankfully, during my teen years, I had the wonderful experience of working at Kenesserie Camp. This is honestly one of the most monumental and positive times in my life, when I cracked through a shell of shyness and insecurity. Being a part of Kenesserie Camp gave me direction when it would have been easy to feel derailed and alone. I realized that many people, and many youth, felt the same way I felt. Even at that time, the personal challenges I had faced as a child were beneficial to me, and it helped me in relating to others and picking up on the nuances of behaviour in the campers. I had one week to connect with these beautiful little people and I did my best to make a difference in their lives and love them. I will always be thankful for my time at Kenesserie Camp, where most of my closest friends and I met one another. A couple of years later, I had an experience that really catapulted my growth from being naive and insecure


to becoming more aware and assertive. It was my first marriage lasting three years. I was a twenty year old in love with my first husband. I will never regret marrying him. While my other friends were still in University, I was all about life experience and more accurately running away. I felt bad for him in some ways. As I mentioned, I struggled with depression and I didn’t know how to deal with the dark feelings, so I found myself in a hospital after another attempted suicide only a couple of years into our marriage. I was enrolled into a voluntary day program for ten weeks at an outpatient facility. It was an amazing and humbling experience and it was the first time I learned about boundaries and being assertive. I found out that my depression was valid and not just some uncontrollable defect. I started to learn about empowerment. I met people who expressed openly and honestly about what brought them pain. The program gave me tools that have helped me since. One day at a time, one step at a time, I started to move away from the heartbreak of my broken marriage and the stress of moving, I was doing everything in my power to just keep my heart and mind together. In many ways I felt very alone and beaten down only to overcome two other very significant obstacles; a serious health issue and my oldest brother’s death. My brother was young, the father of four children when he was killed. I do badly with remembering numbers, but I remember the number thirty-six and January 20th, his age and the day of his accident but I can never recall the year. I can still remember the phone call from my mom. I heard the words, each one felt like a blow. “Your brother, Dale, has been in an accident. He was killed.” It didn’t seem real or possible. I vividly remember walking into my parents’ house that morning. Stepping into the living room, I saw my dad curled up on the couch at the end of the room like a child, unravelled and crying. It was scary to see my dad this way. He was always so strong and I didn’t like him in fetal position. Everything seemed hazy for a while until one night. I had a dream about my brother. I was up in my bedroom getting ready for the day when my mom came to my room to announce that Dale was downstairs visiting. Of course we both knew he had passed away already, so this was strange. Dale was sitting at the end of our dining room table with my two nephews from his first marriage awkwardly sitting on his lap, awkwardly because they were older and too big to be sitting there. He looked a little fake. His hair was too starchy, but his eyes and face were kind and handsome as I remember him. I started asking him a series of questions, those big ones about life. He answered all of them during the dream, but when I woke up I wasn’t allowed to remember any of them. The only last bit of conversation I remember having was when he announced to me that he was coming back as a dog in the following week. I knew he only meant it as a metaphor. But he was trying to express to me that we can take on any form. My parents always seemed like pillars in the family and to watch them crumble after the news of my brother, it made me feel scared. But moment by moment, day by day, I watched my parents in admiration and respect as they remained more present than ever before. Instead of quitting and retreating into grief (which I would have understood), their emotions, time, energy, and hearts were available to everyone in our family and our community. The way they have lived since

my brother’s death is even more inspirational to me after giving birth to Kalyb, for the thought of losing a child seems unbearable. It makes me love them even more and what I’ve learned about the capacity for love over the years is that there are no limits. Mom and dad, I love you and I have so much respect for you. Thank you for not sending me back to Korea. I’m non-refundable anyway. A few years after my brother’s accident, I met my son’s dad while I was in school. I realized he too was working out some serious issues. We were both struggling with our relationship to power. He found his by taking it from others and I found mine through an escalated eating disorder. I was abusing myself and allowing him to treat me the same way. Then we had Kalyb. It was one of the most amazing times and also one of the most terrifying times for me. But the birth of our son, gave me more motivation to start living a healthier more authentic life. Every step I needed to take seemed impossible at first. Leaving Kalyb’s dad was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. It has honestly taken a process of losing my mind to find something better since. When I came to the Chatham Kent Women’s Centre ten years ago, I was temporarily homeless. I felt destroyed. The Women’s Centre provided shelter, a place to shake off the debris of abuse and enough tools to get me started on rebuilding my life. I didn’t like being there. The in between places are not meant to feel like home. I felt so vulnerable, exposed by the need for help. I had no idea how I was going to be strong enough for my son. Ironically, the very act of surrendering began to unearth a wealth of strength and courage. When I came to the Centre, I was given a counsellor and the opportunity to join a support group for women who had been abused. I knew in my broken heart that I needed to begin healing from a deeper place. I wanted to learn how to thrive and give something valuable to my little boy. My counsellor reached out to me, sharing a glimpse of her own personal story, enough so that I felt connected. I was not alone. I didn’t simply feel like a client or a victim. I saw through someone else`s eyes that I was worthy of kindness and understanding. It was my first time in a support group. The women I met needed a safe place to share their voice, their story. I did not know my feelings had a name or a shape that made a pattern. Within the boundaries of this group, I found friendships, hope, and something in common. There were tears and surprisingly there were also episodes of laughter. I needed both. My son and I slept in five different places in five months before we found a place to call home. The Women’s Centre had been the second to last. It broke my heart some moments, but I realized as I looked at my son that he seemed ok. I can honestly say, that had the Women’s Centre been then what it


Miki Dawson at the Chatham Kent Women’s Centre 2012 Volunteer Appreciation Event as the keynote speaker.

has become today, I would have felt differently about staying there. Now, it feels like a home. Instead of receiving a few tools, women are given a full toolbox and taught in several different ways, how to apply and use them. The Centre is helping to build women and children who are whole and able to contribute to their community. The construction of one’s self affects all of us. After I left the Centre with my son, we moved into our own place and I was still connected to other services and charities for a few months; supplies from the Food Bank, a chicken dinner through United Way, being adopted anonymously by a family the first Christmas on our own. I didn’t need these services for long, but as I was rebuilding, they offered relief when times were tight. I experienced first hand the benefits of donations made, time invested, kindness and generosity of spirit. All these hearts and hands helped me feel human again. Leaving the Women’s Centre was only the beginning. I was able to play house in what seemed to be a fresh start to a new life. But what took years to break down was going to take more time than my optimistic heart could imagine or a furnished townhouse could provide. Just for a little perspective, I had moved from London where my son was born, back to Chatham Kent where I grew up, where much of my family resided. My husband followed me only to persistently push and pull at me to give him another chance. Finally, after about fifteen months of being separated, we moved in together again. Soon after he asked me about moving out of the province, to somewhere new. For my own peace of mind, I needed to give our family one more chance. So within a month we were moving across Canada to Calgary, where jobs were plentiful, despite pleas from a few of my close friends to reconsider. I know they were worried about me and I was worried too, but I knew I had to let the relationship play itself out, before I could truly move on. Part of me imagined the possibility of falling back in love with my husband. Without any outside influences, we would be on our own to figure things out. So we headed west. My husband and I were together for about two years, six months of that time as new residents of B.C. before we finally went our separate ways permanently. We both made an honest

effort but my heart was definitely not into our marriage. For so long I believed if you loved someone, you did what you could to stay together and make it work and somehow adding a child to the equation kept you in a contract. Sometimes though when you love someone and you start to love yourself, you must leave. I would look at Kalyb and wonder how I could ever teach him to love and listen to himself if I was a fraud. When we moved to B.C., our first excursion after getting settled into our new home was a drive to White Rock, ten minutes from our place. As we were walking down the hill to the water and I watched in awe as the sky and ocean opened up in front of me, I knew I wanted to live there, with or without my husband. Half a year later I moved here without him. This time was different. I had no friends, no family, and no support. I did, however, move with a determination to make it on my own, to continue forward. Still, no happily ever after. My husband was not happy with my decision to leave him, so he made it as difficult as possible, mentally and emotionally for me. To be quite honest, I wasn’t that strong and every time I would feel beaten without fists. I got into more and more debt, living in a place I couldn’t afford, in a relationship with myself that I couldn’t afford. I was losing my faith in being a good parent to our son as far as being able to provide for him. My insecurities and fears seemed to give my husband fuel. He seemed to be the stronger one financially and mentally. Although we weren’t living together and we were separated, I was still very invested in his moods towards me. I took an emotional nosedive after four months on my own and hit my rock bottom, I had a breakdown. Kalyb spent a couple of months in Ontario with my family, which was motivation to get better. In the time Kalyb was gone, I got a new job and six months later I moved into a place I could afford. In the meantime, I didn’t feel I could support Kalyb financially and I hadn’t accessed any resources to help me. My best was not strong enough to take charge. When Kalyb was to start Kindergarten, his dad agreed to move closer to White Rock so we could share the parenting. Instead, the month before school started, he announced he


was going to move to Vancouver. Without a vehicle of my own and with the forty-five minute to an hour commute I could only see an arrangement of one of us having our son during the week and the other for the weekends. I let Kalyb’s dad choose.

both. I have learned to be a much better parent to my son when I’m taking care of myself, my whole self. Exercising, eating consciously, sleep, adult friendships and solitude seem optional and unconnected to successful parenting, but they’re deeply woven.

For about 2 years, during the week I worked and socialized and every weekend was spent with Kalyb. I lived close to the beach so we would often walk down and have little adventures. Still, I found myself depressed and tired.

My life looks and feels much different than the day I stepped into the Women’s Centre. My son and I have travelled far to reach this place that is Today. I am proud of both of us. Now you can see that writing, “The Butterfly Castle,” was my way of sharing my journey of love and transformation with my son. With great pride I financed the publishing of my project. With even greater pride, I see how my son looks at me. I know he feels loved and secure. He loves himself and that is one of my happiest accomplishments.

My office job looked good on paper but I needed a change. I took a leap of faith and started an alternative health therapy business at home. I gradually built up a loyal clientele. But I had not escaped the feeling that there was more change in store. So something hit me, more specifically a friend who wanted me to pay back a loan. I cared about my friendship and I realized how I dealt with the situation was going to be a turning point. Through some soul searching I could see that the relationship I was having with myself was also directly affecting my finances and everything else. I can see why some people don’t want to take full responsibility for their own lives. Initially I didn’t like to see the person I had become. I paid back my friend with a cheque and then devised a plan to pay off more than ten thousand dollars of debt. During the week I had myself on a budget of ten dollars or less. I had meals of hot pepper rings, pickles dipped in mayonnaise, a head of lettuce with any seasoning I could find, and of course the leftover groceries from the weekend with Kalyb. Once I made a flour, sugar, and water concoction that I thought might be like a pancake. It was more like a cement discus but I ate it, slowly, with lots of water. The culinary sacrifice may sound strange, but I managed to pay off all my debt in less than a year. I had promised to get a will and start an investment, which I did and have continued to do. It took me about five years after I left my marriage to start to live in a way that I felt proud of. When Kalyb’s dad announced he was going to move to another province and he wanted to take Kalyb with him, I was already pretty strong. So when I offered to keep Kalyb full-time instead, I was ready to rearrange my life for him in a big way. So that’s what I did. Kalyb was seven years old and I had no idea what to expect. My main goal was to build up Kalyb’s selfesteem and confidence. Kalyb’s dad moved and I had Kalyb every day. It was a challenge but worth it. It has taken me another few years to find peace with Kalyb’s dad. I have done my best to have the healthiest relationship possible above and beyond the circumstances. I see how it affects Kalyb and I would rather have him comfortable with both of us than left to feel he should choose sides. I try to be as open and honest with him as possible without burdening him. It is a fine balancing act.

I used to be scared of those dark places in my emotions. I remember feeling great fear that I was crazy and doomed for depression. I realize now that it would be like denying nighttime as part of a whole day. When I accept and understand that the light and shadows are cast upon the same space, I have more compassion that both need to exist for the other to be appreciated. We would not see the stars if there was no darkness. The world of the relative is a dear friend to me and a guide to gratitude. I have been given the gift of confinement, abandonment, victimization, adversity, and loss in order to fully experience freedom, love, independence, appreciation, honour, and empowerment. I’m so thankful that I can see the gift of a moment no matter what happens. There is a time for everything. On this occasion, it is a time for appreciation, celebration, gratitude, honour, love, and community. For every individual with a vision and a commitment to improving the quality of lives for others, for every volunteer who gives their personal time and energy, for every man who walks a mile in her shoes, for all the people who raise and donate money and items, for every person who helps support the rebuilding and healing of a life, thank you. I want to thank all of you for sharing the best part of yourself to make a difference for others. And finally, thank you for letting me share my story.

In the time I’ve had Kalyb full time, my thoughts have changed regarding relationships, the most important one with myself. I have made a new commitment and vow to love, honour, and cherish Me. I have found that little girl I loved from a time that seems to be lifetimes ago. I am creating a woman I love so much today. Oftentimes people believe that if you have children, you must love them more than yourself. You must put their needs above your own. I have come to understand that it is

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Vancouver and my dad registered me for hockey. Being from Europe, soccer was my dad’s number one sport and he didn’t know much about hockey, but our love for the sport caught fire quickly. I played both soccer and hockey together and was a goalie in both sports, this made for some interesting techniques as I often used soccer style while playing hockey and vice versa. So it would be fair to say that my dad’s love of soccer was responsible for me ending up a hockey goalie! Can you talk about the process of becoming an NHL goalie? Answer - Early on in my playing career I knew I wanted to play in the NHL, I would say as early as twelve that’s what I made my goal. There are two main ways to make By Hank Leis it to the NHL. One is through Junior hockey and the other is to go the schlorship route through an Amercian or Drago Adam, a former goalie with the New York Canadian University. I choose the Junior route because Rangers, acquired his skills first as a goal tender in I felt the schedule and experience were what resembled soccer. With his father’s encouragement and his own the NHL and would give me the greater opportunity to dedication and desire, Drago moved up the ladder achieve my goal. I played my first year of junior hockey of success into the ranks of the NHL. Today he is a in Saskatchewan, for the North Battleford North Stars. family man and, in business, uses his e-magazine, the We did not have the greatest team but I played a lot and “Monday Morning Motivator” which reaches some got a lot of shots against me. I won awards for MVP 80,000 readers in the Vancouver area and markets and Most Popular Player. The following year I played the products of his many clients. He is a dedicated my first year of major junior hockey for the Lethbridge family man and raises money for the Juvenile Diabetes Bronco’s, I was eligible for the NHL entry draft that Research Foundation. season and despite having a good rookie season and being ranked in the top twenty category for goal tenders Tell me how your dad’s interest in soccer influenced I was not drafted. The following year I was traded back your career in hockey. to Vancouver and played for the New Westminster Bruins. We were not a very strong club and gave up a Answer - My dad was a professional soccer player in lot of shots against which I guess opened up the eyes Croatia and he was very good in his own right. What of NHL scouts because after that season I received an was impressive about my dad was that he was a goal invitation to the New York Rangers training camp. So I keeper and he only had one good eye due to some attended my first training camp as a free agent and I had medical issues at birth so to be able to play at that high a very good camp, New York wasn’t quite ready to offer level with only one good eye shows the level of athletic me a contract yet, so I came back to New Westminster ability my father had. I guess some of his athletic genes and played my last year of junior hockey. We were a were transferred over to me. My father was a very big team that was young and inexperienced and we finished influence in my sporting career, he taught me how to in last place, but for me personally it was a great year, I play soccer when I was 3 and by the time I was 5, I was selected to play in the WHL All Star Game and was was playing with 8 year olds. I didn’t try hockey till selected MVP of the game. I was also a first team all I was 6, we were living in Edmonton and friend of star at the end of the season and won Molson Player of mine and his father were going ice skating and they the Year, all while playing on a last place hockey club. asked us to come along. As the story goes my friend After that season New York offered me a contract and was 8 and he had already been playing hockey for three that was my path to the NHL. years, I borrowed a pair of his skates which were way too big for me, but apparently as soon as I hit the ice Tell me about your hockey career and how this I was a natural. My friends father told my dad that he experience helped you with your career? can’t believe that this was my first time on skates and that I was a better skater than his son and that my dad Answer - My career was not the easiest path to the should put me into hockey. A year later we moved to NHL, I really had to work hard and prove myself at every level. When you play hockey, you have to prove 28 METANOIA

DRAGO ADAM


yourself every game that you are worthy to be in the line up, because if you don’t there is somebody wanting to take your place. So you learn early on that you have a responsibility to yourself and more importantly to your teammates to be prepared to play. Nothing feels better to be part of a team and contributing to the success of your team. The things you learn in high level sports are, discipline, sacrifice, comittment, work ethic, goal setting and a team first attitude. If you are lacking in any of these areas you will stand out quickly in not a positive way. I have found these skills that I have learned from sports totally transferable to the business world. If you don’t show up everyday and provide value for your customers they will leave. It takes discipline, comittment, sacrifice to achieve anything in life and even more so to have a successful business career. In my marketing company when we take on a client, I feel like we become part of their team and its our goal at the Adam Ad Group to be of value. We may not be playing for championships anymore, but the stakes are just as high. When someone is paying you for knowledge and expertise, you better deliver because if you can’t, they will find someone who can. I always strove to better each year as a hockey player and I strive to do this in my business life because this is what makes you invaluable to customers and I am proud that most of our clients have been with us for five, seven, ten years. Talk about your business, how it evolved and what the future holds for you. Answer - The Adam Ad Group is an integrated advertising and marketing firm offering a full range of services including: marketing strategy, search engine marketing, web design and development, video production and media buying. We blur the lines between old-school full-service advertising agency and progressive online marketing firm to help businesses connect with their customers and clients—wherever they are. Marketing has evolved radically with the growth of the internet, technology and social media. The days of being able to spend your way success are long gone. Companies with big ad budgets are losing market share to savy marketers. There is still a place for mass media but we see something that we like to call the internet/outernet convergence, where online and offline meet to form a powerful marketing alliance that is trackable and quantifiable for our customers. Google has changed the world in how we consume information and research products that we are interested in. This is a very exciting time to be in business, technology and the internet are the great equalizers for entrepreneurs to compete against established brands or companies. We see this especially with the automotive industry, car dealers are realizing that the days of spending boat

loads of money on newspaper ads just doesn’t work anymore. They are learning to engage customers online when people are doing their research. Wwe call this “Content Creation Marketing” and it’s paying huge rewards for our clients in sales and profits. The future for us is very exiting, we know that the way people consume and share information are going to be keys to our clients success and we know that google will be a very big part of that, we are already seeing that with the analytical data we study, many of our clients are already seeing 40 to 50 percent of their visitors to their websites are arriving via smart phones and tablets and this is growing monthly. The fact that Google is leading the way in this area in no coincidence. You have a son, Caleb, who has Type 1 diabetes. Can you talk about the daily challenges that you and your family face and how this impacts your life? Answer - My 12 yr old son Caleb has Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes. He was diagnosed at age 4 and this came as quite a shock to our family as there is no history of diabetes on either side of the family. You don’t want your children to have any health issues but we do feel blessed that diabetes is very manageable, and for the most part Caleb lives a very normal and active lifestyle. He plays hockey and Daniel Sedin is his favorite player! He carries an insulin pump which has given him much more freedom. He doesn’t have to have 5 needles a day like he did previously. Now at meal times Caleb programs how much carbs and proteins he is having at a meal and the pump automatically delivers the insulin into his body. There still are challenges. We constantly have to monitor his blood sugar levels, as highs and lows affect him adversely and if he gets too low he is prone to a diabetic seizure which is never easy to watch. This has happened about 6 times since he was diagnosed and it has caused our daughter some anxious moments when she witnesses a seizure. Diabetes has just become a part of our lives. You have to be more prepared and put more thought into your daily activities. Other than that it doesn’t slow us down at all and I am extremely proud of the way Caleb has handled his diabetes. Caleb has been very active in fund raising for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation and over the last three years he has raised over $22,000, so I would say he hasn’t let diabetes get the better of him and we are very hopeful that there will be a cure during his lifetime.

METANOIA 29


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Story of Perseverance Nick Pizza’s wild ride serving the auto industry By Seth Meltzer

We have all heard a lot about the United States auto industry over the past couple of years. Stories about union battles, bloated budgets, and bailouts have accounted for many headlines so I thought it would be interesting to sit down with someone who’s livelihood depends on its success. Have you recently received a flyer in the mail from your local car dealer advertising a special sale on a new car? Or a discount on your next oil change? If you live in the US it’s very likely that it was prepared and sent by Nick Pizza Inc. of Deltona, Florida. Nick Pizza started his direct mail firm Nick Pizza Inc (NPI) 1997 to offer direct mail for the auto industry and has since sent out over 30 million pieces of mail in that time frame. Like many businesses he has been hit hard by the recession, but even more so because 95% of his revenue comes from the auto industry which has been down over 40% during this recession. NPI revenues peaked at $3.7m before the downturn, then dropped 30% almost overnight. In the early days of NPI there was an up and coming manufacturer who Nick had a lot of respect for called Saturn Corporation, a subsidiary of General Motors. Through a personal connection he landed a direct marketing deal with a couple of Saturn dealers. The people responsible for the marketing budgets at Saturn were not very fond of direct mail so Nick knew he would need to impress them. He thought long and hard about creating a mailer that would sell more cars than ever before. He ended up sending out an audio tape mailer based on the Mission Impossible theme which became one of the most successful direct mail campaigns ever. The dealers were overjoyed with the success and that was how he became known for his creativity. Instantly Nick became known by the individual Saturn dealerships across the country, they were his new raving fans. The orders started rolling in and NPI grew quickly, and before long 70% of Nick’s ballooning revenues were from this one manufacturer. Saturn was best known for their unwillingness to negotiate on the price of a car—the price was the price – which was very appealing to a public who in general didn’t care much 32 METANOIA

for the car sales experience, however this wasn’t enough to save them. In 2009 after a sale of the company fell through General Motors discontinued the Saturn brand. So there he was, a staff of six full-time employees and many years spent building relationships within the Saturn organization and overnight it was gone. This may seem like a short story on why not to put all of your eggs in one basket, and if Nick threw in the towel at this point (which many people would have done) that would be true. But this is really a story about perseverance. Frustrated with the decision to scrap the brand, a decision he still feels was a mistake, Nick devoted his efforts to saving his business. He knew one thing that didn’t die with the brand was the relationships he had built over the years as well as his excellent reputation and in the end it appears that’s what saved him. Nick worked hard to stick with the Saturn dealership owners as they recovered from the news and slowly transitioned to selling for other manufacturers. These days NPI is growing steadily, although at a more measured and diversified pace. Revenues haven’t quite reached their pre-recession peak but he’s getting closer every day. I couldn’t help but ask Nick if he is concerned that direct mail may one day be a thing of the past? He feels it may kill newspapers and magazines but he tells me that electronic communication does not earn a new customer— it may maintain customers but won’t earn a new one so he’s not worried about it. Nick feels that what’s required these days to survive is to be the most creative guy in the marketplace. When the economy was doing well almost anything worked, now a business needs to earn every dollar of revenue. Nick’s short-term goal is to build a company based on honest advertising, his long term goals include getting back to setting record revenues. I’m sure it goes without saying but another key goal is to make sure his revenues are diversified between manufacturers as well as between service and sales departments…. in other words he doesn’t want to have to persevere like this again!


MISSIVES FROM DONALD J BOUDREAUX H.L. Mencken, “The Combat Joins,” (originally published on July 6, 1936), in Mencken, On Politics: A Carnival of Buncombe (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1996 [1956]), p. 318.

Mencken on the ‘forgotten man’ It’s a shame that claims, such as the one made below by Mencken, are today considered to be in poor taste.

Schumer-Casey and Saverin Literally, I’d prefer to have rats at my dinner table than the likes of Casey and Schumer. (At least the rats, unlike Messrs. Casey & Schumer, wouldn’t try to lecture me on how their filthy thieving and aggression are justified.)

Don http://www.cafehayek.com/ .................. 10 May 2012 Editor, Washington Post 1150 15th St., NW Washington, DC 20071

Don http://www.cafehayek.com/ ........................................

Dear Editor:

17 May 2012 Sen. Robert Casey (D-PA) Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY) Capitol Hill Dear Sen. Casey and Sen. Schumer: Irked that Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin has renounced his U.S. citizenship, you propose, with your “ExPatriot Act,” to punitively tax and to permanently bar from ever again entering America men and women who, to reduce their tax liabilities, renounce their citizenship in the U.S. The very fact that sitting U.S. senators issue such a proposal the sick reality that representatives of an allegedly free people act as if individuals are serfs bound to a master in the form of the state - the noxious yet proudly paraded assumption by American government officials that a peaceful man’s or woman’s freedom of movement can properly be restricted by a government jealous that it misses the opportunity to seize a huge chunk of what that man or woman earns – does nothing other than to confirm the wisdom and justice of Mr. Saverin’s decision. Sincerely, Donald J. Boudreaux Professor of Economics George Mason University Fairfax, VA 22030

George Will explains that Obamacare’s enormous tax hike on producers of medical equipment will discourage the production of such equipment in America (“Taxing jobs out of existence,” May 10). That members of the Obama administration and Congress apparently failed to see what should be obvious is evidence that the atmosphere stirred up by politics - and further fanned by the power to spend other people’s money - is blinding. Sadly, it’s always been so. H.L. Mencken observed 76 years ago that “Everybody has been thought of by the young pedagogues save the poor fellow who, in the long run, will have to pay the bills. Every sort of misfit and lazybones has been taken care of, but not the man who takes care of himself.” Sincerely, Donald J. Boudreaux Professor of Economics George Mason University Fairfax, VA 22030

METANOIA 33


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Vaccines and your Child Seminar and Open House

with Dr Allison Patton, N.D.

Mountainview Thursday April 12, 2012 at 7pm

WELLNESS CENTRE

Tickets are $ 10; space is limited call Mountainview Wellness Centre Providing Excellence in Naturopathic Medicine538-8837 since 2001 or visit to reserve tickets (604) mountainviewwellnesscentre.ca

Open House Partners you will be meeting at the event:

Miki Dawson Author and Artist

Sarah Stevens Physiotherapist/ Osteopath

Kasia Rachfall Author, Speaker, Parenting Expert

Kaela Scott Registered Clinical Counsellor

April Lacheur Artist

Alison Legge Aromatherapist

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Join us at the oďŹƒce on Sundays from 2-4 PM for a casual conversation and some light snacks where we can get to know each other and express our opinion about current events that concern and aect the people in British Columbia. Weekly Topics for JULY July 8 July 15 July 22 July 29

Education: A new paradigm for learning How is our current system adequately preparing our young people to be able to look after themselves in the future? Leadership: What do we look for in a leader? Crime: How do we define a criminal? Healthcare: How do we fix a broken system?

Mountainview WELLNESS CENTRE 3566 King George Boulevard, South Surrey

For more information call 604.538.8837 or visit www.mountainviewwellnesscentre.ca


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