MARCH 2020
Shekhinah
OWNING THE SPOTLIGHT
THE RISE OF THE HYBRID JOB
THE
DISRUPTORS ISSUE featuring Karabo Poppy, Darkie Fiction, Stiff Pap, RSA R40.00 INCL VAT Other countries R34.78
Zulaikha Patel, Diskotekah, Tamara Moeng
Contents MARCH 2020
LOOK 12 Accessories The wristwatch makes a comeback
16 Your space, your rules The SA creatives who own their look 26 Bare minimum Clean lines and minimal jewellery are all you need this season 34 Get the look The classics, updated with a pop of colour and interesting details 36 Goth, Emo or grunge? ’90s fashion trends, reinvented 42 Pan-African fashion Featuring Ade Ashaye
FE EL 46 Rock steady The beauty must-haves that have stood the test of time 49 What’s on our beauty radar? 50 Why are pubes still a feminist issue? Time to show your downstairs love 54 Just asking Featuring Karabo Poppy 56 Beyond the trace Luscious lashes and a perfect pout 68 Pan-African beauty Featuring Gabriella Slotow
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L IV E 72 Shekhinah All hail the moststreamed female artist in SA
78 Recharge
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Sleep secrets of women in pursuit of dreams 88 Bring sex toys into the bedroom A sex educator’s four top tips 90 Women on top We’re the ones securing the bag now. Get used to it! 92 Peace of mind Disconnect at these wellness retreats 94 How wellness got whitewashed Yoga just isn’t legit anymore. Here’s why you should care.
THI NK
PHOTOGRAPHY: Dan Drury/Condé Nast Digital Studio, Supplied
102 Joined at the hip What’s your attachment style 106 “I chose my sanity!” Prioritising mental health over a paycheck 112 Are you ready for the 4IR? How to be indispensable in the digital age. 114 Spots 115 Books 116 Culinary journey With Gåte at Quoin Rock’s head chef Nicole Loubser 119 Stockists 120 The women who made me By Mahlogonolo Manchester Mahapa
34 PHOTOGRAPHY: Aart Verrips STYLING BY: Mira Leibowitz HAIR: Saadique Ryklief MAKEUP: Caroline Greeff
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Editor-In-Chief
NONTANDO MPOSO Fashion Group Fashion Director Jason Alexander Basson Fashion Editor Mira Leibowitz Fashion Assistant Tania Durand
Editorial Group Managing and Syndication Editor Lesley Mathys Managing and Syndication Editor Walter Hayward Earrings POR Nanis at Elegance Jewellers
Copy Senior Copy Editor Lisa Abdellah Senior Copy Editor Buntu Ngcuka
Art Art Director Ziyaad Bassier Freelance Art Director Kirsten King Graphic Designer Keenan Jeppe Graphic Designer Nosipho Ngqula
Beauty Content Producer Jesé-Ché Lillienfeldt
Features Senior Content Producer Shannon Manuel Content Producer Thobeka Phanyeko
Online Online Editor Molife Kumona Social Media Officer Arthur Mukhari Senior Graphic Designer Viné Lucas Online Content Producers Gugulethu Mkhabela, Amy Saunders, Luthando Vikilahle GlamourSouthAfrica
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CONDÉ NAST INDEPENDENT MAGAZINES (PTY) LTD CEO Mbuso Khoza Head of Finance Paul Myburgh Production Manager Jean Jacobs Production Co-ordinator Charné Phillips Circulations Manager Frederick Smit Circulations Co-ordinator Bertina Ellis Personal Assistant and Office Manager Karen Shields
Advertising Account Managers (JHB) Lorraine Bradley, Jacqui Erasmus, Wendy Robinson, Millicent Mahlangu Account Manager (CT) Charlotte Nutman Advertising Liaison Manager Natasha O’Connor
Sales Representative Italy Angelo Careddu (Oberon Media)
Brand Properties Brand Properties Manager Desiree Kriel Brand Properties Assistant Ntokozo Masinga
Events Events Manager Thobile Sithole Events Co-ordinator Lindiswa Putuma
Directors Chairman Dr Iqbal Survé, Takudzwa Hove CAPE TOWN HEAD OFFICE Condé Nast Independent Magazines (Pty) Ltd, 10th floor, Heerengracht Street, Convention Tower, Foreshore, Cape Town, 8001 postal address PO Box 16414, Vlaeberg, 8018 tel 021 344 0500 JOHANNESBURG OFFICE Condé Nast Independent Magazines (Pty) Ltd, Vunani House, Block C, Vunani Office Park, 151 Katherine Street, Sandton, Johannesburg, 2196 tel 011 263 9560 SUBSCRIPTION ENQUIRIES tel 080 020 4711, 031 308 2022 email kznsubs@inl.co.za REPRODUCTION Studio Repro PRINTING Novus Print Montague Gardens DISTRIBUTION Allied Publishing (Pty) Ltd, 32 Wepener Street, Booysens, Johannesburg, 2016; Product Manager Soraya Pretorius tel 011 248 2418 ©2019 Condé Nast Independent Magazines (Pty) Ltd. Copyright subsists in all work published in this magazine. Any reproduction or adaptation, in whole or in part, without the written permission of the publishers is strictly prohibited and is an act of copyright infringement which may, in certain circumstances, constitute a criminal offence. ISSNs 1728 8770
EDITOR’S LETTER
“We’re disrupting the norm in music, fashion, beauty and design, as well as in media” When Miss Universe Zozibini Tunzi said during her crowning speech, “We should be teaching young girls to take up space. Nothing is as important as taking up space in society and cementing yourself”, it resonated with many women around the world. We’re disrupting the norm in music, fashion, beauty and design, as well as in media. Take our cover star, award-winning singer Shekhinah, who arrived on the music scene as a contestant on SA Idols in 2012. Since then, she’s built herself up to become an incredible force on the music scene. From being Apple Music’s most-streamed female artist in SA to pioneering an all-women music festival, Rose Fest, she’s unstoppable! This issue features inspiring creatives and artists who’re living their lives on their own terms. They’re young, talented, and motivated to succeed and leave a mark in their chosen fields, regardless of their circumstances. My journey as Glamour SA’s new Editor-in-Chief began at the tail-
end of this issue. I’m excited to be part of this talented and experienced team of creatives. Our journey together will include elevating the brand to new heights, while continuing to cement Glamour as the number-one women’s magazine in Africa. Our role is to empower, inspire and educate, as well as to bring to your attention Pan-African personalities, influencers, creators and visionaries who’re doing remarkable things. From fashion to beauty, photography, and everything else in between, Africa is a melting pot of talented individuals. All eyes are on the continent for what’s next, and we’ll to be the first to identify, and set the agenda for, the trends you should follow and the brands that are worth your money. We’ll introduce you to all the cool people on the continent and the lifestyle events you won’t want to miss. I’d like to hear your thoughts and feedback on what you’d like to see more of from us. Connect with me on social media. ’Til next month!
Nontando
Nontando Mposo, Editor-in-Chief @nontando58 @nontando58
PHOTOGRAPHY: Sebastian Voigt
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This Month On
We love PUBES!
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Bushy, bald, long, short, curly or straight – just do you.
FROM ME TO YOU
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All you need to know about the second-hand clothing trend.
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PHOTOGRAPHY: Diana Ruseva/Unsplash.com, Polygraphus/Gallo Images/Getty Images, Aart Verrips, Maarten de Boer/NBC Universal/Getty Images
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A FASHION FOCUS
PRODUCTION, CREATIVE DIRECTION & WARDROBE: Jason Alexander Basson STYLING: the creatives in collaboration with Jason Alexander Basson STYLE ASSISTANT: Palesa Matlebyane (@palesa_thestylist) PHOTOGRAPHY: Aart Verrips at Red Hot Ops PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT: Thato Mabaso HAIR & MAKEUP: Lesley Whitby at Lampost MODELS: Tamara Moeng, Yoza Mnyanda of Darkie Fiction LOCATION: African Penthouses. Yoza wears; dress-coat Shujaa R6 186, Tamara wears; dress Kihalme R4 677.12, earrings Lovisa POR
This timepiece’s lustrous shine makes it perfect for a special occasion.
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A moment in time The simple, refined elegance of the watch accessory makes a comeback this season. Words by TANIA DURAND
LOOK
PHOTOGRAPHY: Gallo Images/Getty Images, Vincent Wulveryck at Cartier, Supplied
Combining beauty and function, this watch has a diamond-like cut that catches the light.
Nixon from R3 800
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LOOK
Cartier R162 000
A refined investment piece guaranteed to leave you breathless and onlookers envious.
Daniel Wellington R2 190
This clean, classically designed watch elevates your outfit, mood and spirit.
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YOUR SPACE,
DISRUPTING, RECLAIMING AND REINVENTING CREATIVE SPACES IS A CONSCIOUS ACT THAT STARTS WITH YOU.
Photography by AART VERRIPS Creative Direction JASON ALEXANDER BASSON
Jacket R1 599 and jeans R1 299 both Coke Threds x Rich Mnisi; beret R1 150 Crystal Birch; earrings POR Lovisa
Denim jacket R2 499 and jeans R2 499 both Levi’s; white T-shirt R399 Levi’s; gold chain Model’s Own
“START WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, EVEN IF IT’S NOT A LOT. IF YOU’RE A MUSICIAN AND YOU HAVE ONLY THREE SONGS, START PERFORMING. IF YOU’RE A PHOTOGRAPHER AND YOU HAVE ONLY TEN PHOTOGRAPHS, FIND A SPACE AND EXHIBIT THERE” Sam Turpin, musician @iamsamturpin
YOUR RULES
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LOOK “ONCE YOU KNOW YOURSELF, THINGS START TO FALL INTO PLACE FROM THERE. DON’T WAIT FOR VALIDATION. BE YOUR OWN BIGGEST FAN” Jakinda Boya of ‘Stiff Pap’, musician @jakinda_ / @stiffpap
THIS PAGE T-shirt R479 adidas; jeans R4 000 Afrikanswiss; hat POR Crystal Birch; necklace Model’s Own
OPPOSITE PAGE Light summer sweater R999 Coke Threds x Sgod; jeans POR Levi’s; sneakers R1 599 adidas; yellow beanie R299 Levi’s; sunglasses R1 490 Arnett at Sunglass Hut
“STAY IN YOUR LANE AND MAKE THE BEST OF YOUR MEANS. MAKE IT A PERSONAL JOURNEY. STICK TO WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN, EVEN IF THAT MAKES YOU AN OUTCAST”
Kuthulakwe-Nkosi Siboto of ‘Darkie Fiction’, musician @darkiefiction
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Jacket R2 999 Levi’s; athletic bikini top R450 Coke Threds x Maylee; pants R699 Coke Threds; sneakers R1 599 adidas; earrings POR Lovisa
“I’VE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT CHANGE WILL BE DELIVERED BY YOUNG PEOPLE. EACH TIME THE WORLD SAYS ‘NO’ WE MUST FIRMLY RESPOND WITH A ‘YES’, ACCOMPANIED BY WHAT WE HAVE TO OFFER. THE FUTURE IS OURS TO INHERIT, SO WE MUST FIGHT TO MAKE IT A GOOD ONE” . Zulaikha Patel, activist, public speaker, writer @unapologetically.zulaikha
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LOOK
“EXPERIMENT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. DO WHAT YOU LOVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. DON’T BE AFRAID OF MAKING MISTAKES. YOU STILL HAVE TIME” Lenzo Mangonyane, brand strategist, DJ, art director and stylist @lenzomangonyane
Jacket POR Burberry; jeans POR Levi’s; sneakers R1 599 adidas; beret POR Crystal Birch; sunglasses Model’s Own
THIS PAGE Cape R3 843 Zawadi
OPPOSITE PAGE Shirt POR Versace; striped trousers R2 299 Scotch & Soda; hat R2 999 Crystal Birch x Rich Mnisi
“TRUST YOUR GUT. BELIEVE THAT YOUR DREAMS AND IDEAS WILL TAKE YOU EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANT TO GO. THE MORE YOU BELIEVE IT, THE SOONER IT’LL BECOME A REALITY” Yoza Mnyanda of ‘Darkie Fiction’, musician @darkiefiction glamour.co.za
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“CREATE AND BUILD YOUR OWN. THERE AREN’T ANY SET POSITIONS IN THE INDUSTRY, SO DO YOU, UNAPOLOGETICALLY. AND IF THERE’S NO PLACE FOR YOU AND WHAT YOU DO, THEN CREATE THAT PLACE. PIONEER THAT POSITION”
Tamara Moeng, creative @tamaramoeng
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Denim jacket POR (original price R1 499) Levi’s customised by Haus of Strauss Africa; red T-shirt R379 adidas; jeans R999 Levi’s; sneakers R1 599 adidas
STYLING: the creatives in collaboration with Jason Alexander Basson STYLE ASSISTANT: Palesa Matlebyane (@palesa_thestylist) PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT: Thato Mabaso HAIR & MAKEUP: Lesley Whitby at Lampost MODELS: Lenzo Mangonyane, Tamara Moeng, Kuthulakwe Nkosi Siboto (Katt Daddy) and Yoza Mnyanda of Darkie Fiction, Jakinda Boya and Ayema Qampi of Stiff Pap, Sam Turpin, Zulaikha Patel LOCATION: African Penthouses.
LOOK
THIS PAGE Wool coat Mango; dress Lanvin; red pumps Marni; earrings Bijou Brigitte; gloves Acne Studios
OPPOSITE PAGE Double-breasted suit with long sleeves Fracomina; oversized vest Semicouture; platform boots Stella McCartney
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LOOK
When it comes to style, often the simplest concepts are the most groundbreaking. As we move into a decade of considered, streamlined fashion, let’s look at some of the best ideas, and how to wear them.
Fashion editor LUCA SMORGON Photography by MATTIAS BJÖRKLUND
LOOK
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THIS PAGE Dress Semicouture; skirt Marni; sneakers Sportmax
OPPOSITE PAGE Two-tone dress Clips
THIS PAGE Cotton jacket Silvian Heach; dress with split Acne Studios; drop earrings Bijou Brigitte
OPPOSITE PAGE Coat and faux-leather bag both H&M
LOOK
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HAIR: Capelli Giuseppe Lorusso at Close Up Milano using L’OrÊal Professionnel MAKE UP: Trucco Erica Vellini at Green Apple using Urban Decay Naked Cherry Palette MODELS: Sandra e Yejoo at Wave Management, Magdalena Martynowicz at Brave. In collaboration with Benedetta de Fazio
LOOK
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THIS PAGE Satin blazer PennyBlack; dress Marni; boots Fendi; earrings H&M
OPPOSITE PAGE Check poncho Etro; dress Sisley; leather boots Semicouture; faux-leather bag Carla Ferroni
LOOK
get the
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Classic pieces paired with pops of colour, prints or interesting details will elevate your look instantly.
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Fashion designer Cindy Mfabe has been on our radar since she won the SA Fashion Week (SAFW) New Talent Search in 2018.
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What inspires you? Local artists, my upbringing, and the brand Delpozo, whose aesthetic and pattern engineering is out of this world.
Your brand’s aesthetic? 12 11
Feminine and masculine nuances, paired with colour and fun. Cindy Mfabe is a ready-to-wear, contemporary womenswear brand. The utmost attention to detail is given to each
WORDS BY: Tania Durand PHOTOGRAPHY: Mattias Björklund, Supplied
piece.
Your favourite items from your collection? The red-ruffle coat dress, block-ruffle coat and colour-block jacket.
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(1) Jumpsuit Next.co.za R380 (2) Earrings ByCara R115 (3) Jacket Country Road R1 699 (4) Skirt Country Road R1 099 (5) Pearl earrings H&M R189 (6) Belt Mango R599 (7) Boots Zara R1 799 (8) Gloves Mango R599 (9) Blazer H&M R725 (10) Dress Zara R799 (11) Bag Project Dyad R1 760 (12) Dress Studio W R899 (13) Boots Gucci at Mytheresa R24 220 (14) Sneakers Yeezy R3 299
How has your life changed since you won the SAFW New Talent Search 2018? Working with The Fashion Agent (a retail space in Joburg that stocks local designer pieces) has taught me about the business of fashion. What’s next? We’re currently working on a few exciting projects. And work. Work, work, work. glamour.co.za
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LOOK
COME AS YOU ARE In the debaucherous early ’90s, listening to Nirvana was as rebellious as Marc Jacobs’ ’93 collection for Perry Ellis. Pairing a floral dress with the chunkiest boots you can find creates an iconic, effortless and grungy look.
@MARCJACOBS Clockwise, from left: brown maxi dress H&M R805; white leather biker boots Zara R1 799; black floral dress Marc Jacobs at Mytheresa R6 688; pink slip dress Forever New R1 299; red floral dress The Lot R599; platform boots Dr Martens at That Shoe Lady R3 164; embellished ankle boots Gucci at Mytheresa R11 957
LOOK
EMO OR E-GIRL? The 2000s Emo trend has returned in the guise of the E-girl. Born in the age of the internet and driven by Gen Z, it has the same underlying context of familiar subcultures like grunge, punk and Emo, remixed and filtered on social media.
Clockwise, from left: T-shirt Sol-Sol at OSCS R450; beanie Converse R189; leather jacket Mango R2 999; studded leather belt Prada at Mytheresa R10 294; wallet chain Cotton On R119; trousers Zara R399; sneakers Vans R899; bag Zara R759; bracelet Gucci at Mytheresa R4 730; sunglasses Dior at Net-a-Porter R7 300
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LOOK
WHY NOT GO GOTH?
Clockwise, from left: choker Swarovski R3 990; hair clips H&M R116; leather choker Balenciaga at Net-a-porter R14 791; chain ByCara R124; earrings Jill Sanders at Mytheresa R6 264; necklace Swarovski R11 900; link necklace Mango R699; rings The Lot R299; earrings Prada at Mytheresa R6 2 64; chain top The Lot R299
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WORDS BY: Mira Leibowitz PHOTOGRAPHY: Marc Jacobs/Instagram, Christian Viering/Gallo Images/Getty Images, Estrop/Gallo Images/Getty Images, Steve Jennings/Gallo Images/Getty Images, Peter White/Gallo Images/Getty Images, Archive Photos, Catwalking/Gallo Images/Getty Images, IMAXtree.com
It’s the dawn of a new decade, and Goth is all grown up. Mixing metals, layering delicate, kinky pieces and choosing jewels that speak to your darker side is liberating.
@peggygou_
PEGGY GOU Our all-time favourite girl-crush, world-famous DJ and producer, Peggy Gou not only drops the best beats, but she’s also a great fashion designer. Her brand, Kirin – which speaks to her fun and relatable yet aspirational style – is gaining traction, and we stan.
LOOK AFRICAN FASHION INTERNATIONAL (AFI) FASHION WEEK WILL TAKE PLACE IN CAPE TOWN, FROM 12 TO 14 MARCH. @afi_sa
LOCAL IS LEKKER High-end brands are collaborating with locals to create bags that are more collectable pieces of art than they are functional fashion items. Louis Vuitton connected with Nicholas Hlobo earlier this year, while Dior partnered with Athi-Patra Ruga.
FASHION RADAR? Make a statement by wearing a digital tee, the hottest heels or attending a head-to-toe tonal soiree. Here’s what’s disrupting our radar this March.
PANTONE SUNDAYS From the creators of The WKND Social, this is Nandi Dlepu’s newest addition to the social calendar: Pantone Sundays. Taking place in both Joburg and Cape Town, this colour-themed party is as visually pleasing as it is an all-round good time.
@mamakashaka
WORDS BY: Mira Leibowitz PHOTOGRAPHY: Simon Deiner/SDR Photo/ Group of Creatives, Supplied
what’s on our
We’ve been obsessing over Amina Muaddi’s shoe designs since the young European designer, of the same name, started her brand. Join us as we dream of owning a pair of these beauties.
Heels Amina Muaddi R11 540
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LOOK
How
FASHION got the
GAMING bug Supermodel avatars, VR wardrobes, digital boutiques… Mobile games are getting a high-fashion makeover, says Ellie Pithers.
N
igel Milles isn’t particularly famous. A former chartered accountant with the haircut to match, he’s a member of parliament in Derbyshire, a county in England. He hit the headlines, however, in 2014, when he was captured on camera, over twoand-a-half hours, matching up sweetshaped icons on his tablet. The rub? Nigel was playing Candy Crush Saga in a government committee meeting about the future of pensions.
Step on any train, plane or bus, and chances are that you’ll spot a passenger playing a game on their phone. Gaming has gone from arcades to basements to handheld devices quicker than you can say ‘Fortnite’. By 2021, the global games market is projected to exceed R2 368-trillion, according to research firm Newzoo. But the biggest surprise? In 2019, 63% of mobile game consumers were women. As the industry adapts to this extraordinary demographic shift – after all, female mobile gamers are 79% more likely to make an in-app purchase – brands are hoping to cash in. Moreover, with Gen Z seeing little distinction between their on- and offline lives, businesses are rushing to apply gamification to their commercial strategies. Research by investment bank and financial services company Goldman Sachs estimates that virtual and augmented reality technology will be worth more than R1 054-trillion by 2025. The fashion industry – never missing a chance to connect with younger, female customers – wants a slice of the gaming pie. Two new apps, launched last year, are aimed squarely at women who love trying on and buying clothes. Drest is a new app from Lucy Yeomans, a former magazine editor and Net-aPorter.com alumnus, which allows the user to dress up an avatar using ingame currency and complete a series of style challenges. Once you’ve styled up a supermodel in, say, something from Valentino’s Spring/Summer collection, zhuzhed up her hair, given her a smoky eye and put in her in a picture-perfect Clifton beach setting, you release your ‘look’ into the community to be rated by other users. You can then buy the Valentino clothes IRL via Farfetch.com, with which Lucy has struck an affiliate deal.
PHOTOGRAPHY: Instagram/Lilmiquela, Tetsuya Nomura & VW Of Square Enix, Drest, The Sims
LEFT TO RIGHT: Instagram avatar and influencer Lil Miquela, Final Fantasy avatar Lightning for Louis Vuitton, Bella Hadid and Lil Miquela for Calvin Klein, the Drest app, Moschino looks designed exclusively for The Sims
Similarly, there’s Ada, an app named after Ada Lovelace and co-founded by the fashion insiders Alexia Niedzielski and Elizabeth von Guttam. It lets you pick from a series of 3D luxury interiors – an apartment boasting a spiral staircase and filled with designer furniture, for example – where you can dress up your chosen avatar in Prada, then take a series of shots to share on your social media or in-message with friends. Users are invited to purchase these clothes directly from the 20 highend brands currently signed up. The duo has joined forces with Sina, the Chinese internet company that owns microblogging site Weibo, and will launch the app in China first, because, as Alexia points out, “by 2025, 50 % of the world’s luxury demographic will be Chinese.” Both Lucy and Alexia argue that gaming is the final piece of the puzzle in making luxury fashion more democratic. “Social media made luxury fashion accessible,” says Alexia. “Luxury fashion still isn’t affordable, but the game does make it available for all.” Lucy supports this theory. “I wanted to give people access to the things that I had as a magazine editor: clothes,
models, hair and makeup. There’s something lovely about the fact that anyone can become an amazing stylist.” They can also become amazing shoppers. Surprisingly, for someone who has worked in fashion for more than 20 years, Lucy insists she doesn’t like shopping and finds it “a difficult experience”. But since starting Drest, she’s found a renewed sense of confidence. “I bought a pair of Clergerie woven sandals because I kept using them in all my style challenges and realised they were so cute,” she laughs. This information can also be fed back to brands for product interest stats, though Lucy is quick to insist it complies with data protection laws. The increasing blurred line between real and virtual experience has also led to the rise of avatars as celebrities. In 2016, Louis Vuitton signed up the pink-haired protagonist Lightning, a digital avatar from the cult game Final Fantasy, as a campaign star. “Lightning is the perfect avatar for a global, heroic woman in a world where social networks and communication are now seamlessly woven into our life,” creative director Nicolas Ghesquière said at the time. Numerous brands have developed their own games that play on house
codes and branding. Last July, the Gucci Arcade, a new section dedicated to games inspired by ’80s arcades, was added to the fashion house’s app. Hermès, Uniqlo and Fendi have all experimented with games too, plus there’s Moschino’s lucrative partnership with The Sims. Perhaps the final frontier for those who want luxury fashion but find it beyond their means is virtual acquisition. “With the in-game currency, if you really want to buy the R10 000 Gucci dress, you can, for a fraction of the real-life price,” says Lucy. “You can be Julia Roberts, but without having to sleep with Richard Gere.” Alexia refers me to ‘Striking Vipers’, the episode of Black Mirror in which two male best friends enjoy virtual sex, then wonder if they’ve been cheating on their wives. “Virtual experience does trigger this real excitement and desire that can’t be fulfilled – so the virtual experience becomes heightened,” she says. Have you had your eye on a R153 000 cashmere coat from The Row for while? Well, your dream wardrobe is just a download away.
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PAN-AFRICAN CREATIVES
Up-cycling the City Ade Ashaye is on a mission to change your perception of Joburg’s CBD by reclaiming and redesigning disused spaces, one luxury renovation at a time. Words by TANIA DURAND
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lamour: Tell us about African Penthouses and its services. Ade Ashaye: Guests can live it up a little by staying at our short-term rental, penthouse apartments, in the most beautiful part of downtown Joburg. Our two- and three-bedroom, penthouse apartments are for groups of up to eight people on short breaks and ‘stay’-cations. Most apartments have amazing roof terraces, fabulous views and private Jacuzzis. And they’re affordable. Glamour: How and when did you start the business? AA: The first time we opened the doors of the main penthouse to guests was in September 2015. We’d noticed a worldwide trend: former downtrodden areas were becoming more desirable. This area has always had amazing architecture and is close to the rest of Joburg, so I knew the same thing would eventually happen here. I found a company that was selling units in this amazing building. In 2007, I bought and renovated my first unit for myself, then bought another. I didn’t want a long-term tenant in the apartment so, in September 2015, I put it on Airbnb. The apartment was so popular because people wanted to stay in beautiful but affordable spaces. They also loved the uniqueness of the architecture in the area and wanted to have easy access to the emerging hot spots around town, such as Maboneng, Braamfontein and Fox Street. So I bought another penthouse shell.
LOOK
Glamour: On your Instagram page, you say you’re ‘re-writing Joburg’s story’. Why’s that important to you – and why Joburg? AA: Firstly, it’s a great spot. The full quote reads, ‘re-writing Joburg’s story, one guest at a time’. Outside of South Africa, Joburg has a pretty terrible reputation. I remember meeting South Africans in London, and they’d try to talk you out of spending time in Joburg. Then I moved here and realised that so much of what they were saying was false. Many of those South Africans had never even been to Joburg. If I hadn’t experienced it myself, I’d never have believed it. Once tourists had a great experience there, they became ambassadors for the city and would encourage their friends and family to visit. That’s what I was referring to in my post. Visitors are changing the common narrative about Joburg.
PHOTOGRAPHY: Gavin Berry, Supplied
Glamour: What challenges did you face? AA: We’ve learned how to get the banks to support us and counter the issue that so many potential guests see the word ‘penthouse’ and think, ‘party’, and about the difficulties of building so high up and the challenges we’re all facing with load shedding. Glamour: What inspires and motivates you? AA: I love seeing guests’ reactions when they walk in and see the space for the first time. I’m enjoying that each
renovation allows us to take risks. But ultimately, I want to build a legacy based on doing something unique and game-changing. Glamour: Joburg CBD is known as a crime- and drugriddled community with derelict buildings. What was it about this space that appealed to you? AA: It’s made up of many different neighbourhoods, each one different from the rest. CBD West, where we are, can’t be compared to the fashion district, diamond district, Jeppestown, Maboneng or Hillbrow. What attracted me to this particular area was its amazing buildings. We have possibly the most beautiful view of urban Joburg. As this area is also protected by the National Heritage Resources Act, these façades will be maintained.
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PRODUCTION, CREATIVE DIRECTION & WARDROBE: Jason Alexander Basson STYLING: the creatives in collaboration with Jason Alexander Basson STYLE ASSISTANT: Palesa Matlebyane (@palesa_thestylist) PHOTOGRAPHY: Aart Verrips at Red Hot Ops PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT: Thato Mabaso HAIR & MAKEUP: Lesley Whitby at Lampost MODEL: Tamara Moeng LOCATION: African Penthouses. Tamara wears; trucker custom Levi’s at Haus of Strauss POR, red T-shirt adidas R379, earrings Lovisa POR
FEEL
rock
Words by COTTON CODINHA, JESÉ-CHÉ LILLIENFELDT Photography by WILL ANDERSON
STEADY
SK-II Facial Treatment Essence R5 905 Birth year: 1980 A good idea can get you in the game, but it’s the results that help you win it. The scientists behind SK-II Facial Treatment Essence got their inspiration from a sake factory, where they noticed workers’ smooth hands belied their years. All credit was due to Pitera, a by-product of yeast fermentation, and it became the active ingredient in this spot-fading, line-minimising (not to mention makeup-priming) liquid.
ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY: Dan Drury
Do you know what’s even better than the thrill of the new? The thrill of something that has proven itself a superstar time and time again. Take, for example, these nine powerhouses. With each passing year, our love for them grows stronger.
“A good idea can get you in the game, but it’s the results that help you win it”
Vaseline R44.99 Birth year: 1870 This petrolatum goop has been saving our derrieres since we were babies (it’s a nappyrash miracle) and has seen us through the chapped lips, rough elbows and minor dustups of adulthood with aplomb.
Maybelline New York Expert Wear Twin Brow & Eye Wood Pencil R49.50 Birth year: 1920s These red-wood pencils come in packs of two (one for eyes, one for brows). Their earliest fans used them to create their preferred delicately rounded, downward-sloping brow shape and heavily rimmed eyes. Today, they create tight lines that won’t budge and – with short, feathery strokes – help brows reach maximum 2020 fullness.
Chanel No. 5 R1 720 Birth year: 1921 The first scent dreamed up by Coco Chanel and her perfumer Ernest Beaux. Its timeless, woody and floral scent has notes of sweet ylang-ylang, lightened by touches of jasmine, vanilla and rose. The aldehydes are an integral part of what makes it feel modern and quintessential – even a century later.
Batiste Dry Shampoo R83 Birth year: 1975 The London-born, rice-starchbased formula perfected the fullbodied blowout by keeping hair lifted and grease-free. Today, just a few well-aimed spritzes from its still-groovy, psychedelic bottle keeps beachy waves going well into their third day.
Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturising Lotion R570 Birth year: 1968 If you consider hyaluronic-rich and fragrance-free as standard in facial creams, it’s because of what’s inside this yellow bottle. This game-changer continues to hydrate – no hype necessary.
Biologique Recherche Lotion P50 R1 074 Birth year: 1970
Dove Beauty Bar R12.99 Birth year: 1957 This moisturising cleanser has never strayed from its frills-free, do-no-harm MO. And consistency sells – to the tune of 60 bars every second of every day.
L’Oréal Paris Elnett Satin Hairspray Extra Strength R89 Birth year: 1960 This legendary hairspray is the gold standard for all red carpet events. Used by iconic stylists around the world, it has always been at the heart of the finest hairstyles. The ultra-fine mist, which comes in a chic, gold spray bottle, is formulated specially to create sleek waves, volume, shine, a satin-like finish and a firm hold.
This toner has been a beauty status symbol since Biologique Recherche’s founder, French biologist Yvan Allouche, whipped up his first batch of phenol, vinegar, and lactic and salicylic acids, to create the ultimate exfoliant. The incredibly effective, glowinducing potion was an instant hit, despite its now-infamous stink (blame the oil-absorbing sulfur and vinegar).
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FEEL BODY GLOW Mawena (which stands for ‘I am seen as I am’) is a 100%-natural, French skincare brand that’s well known for its anti-inflammatory and soothing properties. We love the way this oil feels, without leaving an oily residue. Marula oil protects the skin from dehydration, nourishes it and keeps it supple. It’s just what your skin needs as you head into the dry season. Mawena Rose Marula Oil Serum Hydration Protection Éclat R1 864.
REBOOT
WORDS BY: Jesé-Ché Lillienfeldt PHOTOGRAPHY: Yellow Images, Supernitram via Gallo Images/Getty Images, Supplied
what’s on our
BEAUTY RADAR?
We know the drip craze has been around for a while, but we’ve finally caught up and are here to tell you we’ve found the answer for a rejuvenated body. What it does is provide you with a direct infusion of the vitamins and minerals you need, such as high doses of vitamin C (which is essential when the seasons change) and magnesium. The advantage of taking the IV route is that nutrients bypass your digestive system, which means they work more efficiently. Vitamin IV Drip from R999.
Want to prep your hair and body for the cooler season? These health boosters and floral scents will have you looking and feeling good in no time.
‘SPRITZ’-FUL This multilayered perfume embodies all the colours of the rainbow, and its scent reminds us of diamonds. It’s soft and well-balanced and, if you’re into sweet, modern violet, then this floral scent will elevate your mood during autumn. Cartier Carat EDP R1 015.
Most of us are used to keeping our curls looking good with hairspray that you have to wash out the next day, but we’re pleased to let you know that we’ve spritzed on some of this liquid magic (yes, magic), which leaves your hair feeling soft, while keeping your style intact. So, no matter what the weather’s doing, your hair won’t be affected, natural or curly. Jane Seymour range from R51.99.
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Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli, 1485
Love them, loathe them, wax them, laser them – for most of us, pubes are something we spend a lot of time and energy getting rid of. Grace Campbell argues it’s time we showed our downstairs hair a little love.
Why are
PUBES still a
feminist issue?
FEEL
“I’d been tending to my pubes like they were somebody else’s garden I was asked to look after” – Grace Campbell, 25, comedian and actress
W
hen I first sat down to write this article, I’d just finished a very unsatisfying internet search. I’d procrastinated for an hour, looking for a salon that offers the type of wax I wanted. It shouldn’t be so hard to find, right? But as the search went on, I began to wonder if this wax is not yet advertised on the internet… because I’ve invented it? This wax, which I call (through no stretch of the imagination) ‘The Grace’, consists of a full bikini wax and snail trail, a wax halfway down the inner thighs (because let’s just all admit that our pubes don’t stop at our bikini line), plus the removal of all the hair surrounding the bum crack. This, I’ve finally realised, at 25 years old, is my perfect wax. But, let me tell you getting to this point was no easy journey. Throughout the last decade, I’ve been in a tumultuous love-hate relationship with my pubic hair. Before my pubes arrived aged 13, I can’t say I’d given much thought to them. My mind was too busy consuming itself with daydreams of ponies, Zac Efron, and how I could one day become Hannah Montana. But pubes were no stranger to me. When I was growing up, bushy muffs were worn with pride in the female changing rooms at the local swimming pool. Like most other feminists her age, my mom always had her pubes grown out. Back then, I assumed having a bush was the norm. I thought that one day, when my day came, I would have one too. But this all changed when I was 12. My mom and I were in the swimming
pool changing rooms one day, when a group of loud, confident girls who were a bit older than me walked in. As they were getting changed they caught a glimpse of my mom’s hair. They were shocked into hysterical laughter, loudly mocking her bush. No one else in the room seemed to mind. But I did. I was offended. I was offended that they’d attacked my mom. But more importantly, I was offended that I wasn’t in on their joke. I realised that if I wanted to keep being cool, I also had to hate my mum’s pubes. Not long after this, I was in a conversation at school. I was part of a group of cool, Just-Do-It-bag-wearing, cigarette-smoking girls, and we were talking about sex. None of us had ever done it, but we knew all about it nonetheless. When pubes came into the conversation one girl shut the topic down with the line: “Girls, categorically, can’t have sex if they have pubic hair.” When my own finally started appearing, I was torn on how to greet them. Part of me wanted to welcome them in as the symbol of puberty that they are, while another voice told me to send them packing before they got too comfy down there. But sex wasn’t even nearly on the horizon at this point. So, instead of addressing my pube problem, I just avoided all eye contact with anything down there. I cleaned it clinically, like it was Tupperware. Even when I masturbated I’d only touch it from afar, without ever making eye contact with it. I feared that if I if looked it in the eye, I’d feel so uncomfortable that I’d want to get the whole thing removed.
This is an experience not unique to just me. I’ve met so many women who had this same hatred for their vaginas in their adolescent years. And it’s not a surprise. From the moment we become aware of puberty, the media, and society more generally, make us hate our bodies in more ways than one. Our weight is put under scrutiny. Our skin is terrorised. Our faces are given dedicated flaws that we must spend loads of money on altering and covering up. And our innocent little body hair is put to shame before it even gets a chance to grow. Teenage girls are fighting off body standards like mosquitoes in the summer, and sometimes, as I have learnt, it’s impossible not to get stung. When I was 15 years old, I started liking boys. By then it was common knowledge that if you had pubes, boys would know it, with some supernatural power that they had, and they’d never want to get with you. So, reluctantly, I began a journey into the world of hair removal. I started this voyage with the lowest of lows. Something I will always regret. I shaved my pubes. Shaving your pubes is something I would never recommend to a friend. It’s a bit like using washing powder to clean your face with (I actually have a friend who once did this and it made her face look like it’d just been beaten up by a razor). In my opinion, pubic hairs are too thick for a razor, while the skin is not made for it. As soon as I looked down at the raw, bleeding, itchy mess, I knew I’d made a terrible mistake. Nearly as bad as the time I shaved one of my eyebrows off in grade 6. After my pubic hair had all grown back a few months later, I tried the whole hair-removal cream thing. This wasn’t for me because, as a hypochondriac, every time I got an ingrown hair I went to the doctor convinced I had terminal cancer. But I was a teenager who still needed to have a hairless vagina to be vaildated by my friends – and boys. So I started spending my hard-earned babysitting money on waxes. By 16, I was getting everything waxed off. My vagina looked like a battery-farmed chicken, poor thing. É
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FEEL
When sex finally came, it was below average. Having masturbated for years, sex felt like a cheap charity shop version of the real thing. But one thing I knew for sure was that I’d been conned into thinking that some pubes could have any effect on your sex life. I realised how little some hair on the skin would prevent some bump and grind from happening. Also, boys were far too preoccupied with their favourite porn fantasies – they didn’t seem to notice what I was doing much. I was lucky to have an experience early on in my sex life when a boy told me he thought hair was great, if that was what I preferred. Boys like him cared far less about pubes than we were made to believe. Sure, there were some guys who really resented pubes. Like my friend’s (now ex-) boyfriend, who once transferred her money for a wax when she couldn’t afford one because he, “didn’t want to have sex with her unless she was hairless”. But overall, I realised that this ‘hair equalling no sex’ thing was a lie women had been fed by the media, porn, and other people in their lives, and which we were also guilty of perpetuating. By this point I’d also found my new friend feminism, which taught me that patriarchy has been known to make women feel they should do things to their own bodies to impress men. It was then that I realised I’d been tending to my pubes like they were somebody else’s garden I was asked to look after. I spent too long worrying about how some hairs on my precious parts would affect other people. I wanted to make my pubes my own again. I became impassioned about pubes. I stopped stressing about waxing. I stopped waxing for a while, out of anger. I started drunkenly making preachy speeches at parties where I’d tell girls that, “if a boy doesn’t want to sleep with you because of your pubes then they’re not worth a single second with your precious parts”. However, in a bit of a plot twist, I realised after some time soul-searching that as much as I like having some hair down there, I do
also enjoy getting a wax once in a while. This is the difference, I think, between my generation of feminists and that of my mom’s. For feminists my age, it is believed that you should be able to do whatever you like to your body, as long as it’s your choice. For my mom’s generation this isn’t quite the case. I learnt this one night a few years ago, when I was having dinner with some of my mom’s friends. I mentioned to the table of second-wave feminists that I was planning on getting a wax before my upcoming holiday. But the cries of outrage at my comment made me feel like I’d admitted to murdering Gloria Steinem. I knew then that I disagreed with those women, older and wiser than me, on this pube issue. I believe in myself even more strongly now. I can be a feminist even if I like getting my bum hole waxed every now and then. Pubic hair is just another part of our bodies that women are conditioned to hate from a young age. And as I’ve grown older I’ve found this more and more ridiculous. Why do we direct so much hatred towards some innocent hairs that evolution gave us to protect ourselves from bacteria and unwanted pathogens, when we could be directing that hatred and anger towards men like Donald Trump and Boris Johnson? I want to leave you with one final thing. Whatever you do to your pubes; whether you cut them, wax them, shave them (please don’t) or pluck them, please remember to give them some damn respect. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do with them. Don’t let anyone shame you for having them. Your pubes are only here to protect you, so show them respect for that.
“Keeping my pubes felt empowering” – Akhera Williams, 18, student
P
uberty gatecrashed my childhood. I was eight when I first saw small hairs peeping from my swimsuit. I didn’t hate them when they arrived, but nobody likes unexpected guests. I went through a period of smuggling razors from the bathroom cupboard because I didn’t want anyone to know I was shaving, and it wasn’t until I was told the process makes the hairs grow back thicker that I stopped. For a while, I coasted in the knowledge that down there had hair and didn’t think about the political weight it carried. But I’ll never forget when I got underarm hair mixed up with pubes and asked some boys at school: what are your opinions on female pubic hair? Their faces crumpled like discarded notes, and they shook their heads in condemnation. I realised then that hairless females were the status quo. In protest, aged 16, I tried to disrupt the system, spending a year unshaven. Growing up as a black female, always conscious of her body size, meant keeping my hairs felt like a finger up to a system that made me feel out of place, no matter what I did. It was empowering, and the only comments I got were from my mom who supported my self-reform. But now, at 18, I’m fine hibernating for half the year and trimming during the other half, because I’ve realised it’s not about making a statement, but about finding a sense of balance.
Venus of Urbino by Titian, 1538
PHOTOGRAPHY: Franco Origlia/Gallo Images/Getty Images
“I’m a ‘wax it all off’ kind of girl” – Kiké Adetunji, 30, senior project manager
45% of you feel SEXIER when you’re FULLY GROOMED
Y
ou might say that I won the lottery when it comes to my hair. It’s thick, curly and quite long (thanks, mom), and while I enjoy rocking the au naturel look with the hair on my head, for my private parts that just simply isn’t my vibe. When it comes to pubes, I’m a ‘wax it all off, please’ kind of girl. I’ve been removing my hair for the best part of 14 years; shaving, epilators, hair-removal creams, I’ve tried it all and experienced many a wonky landing strip for my efforts. My hair-removal journey started when I was 16 years old. I was petrified that
the guy I was seeing wouldn’t only be repulsed by my bush, but that he would tell all his friends and I’d be the talk of the town. These days, older and hopefully a little wiser, I really don’t give a shit what any guy thinks of my pubic hair status. It’s not their vagina, so – let’s be honest – they have no say or influence on how I choose to groom it. Although I still opt for a monthly wax, my reasons for doing so now are based on how it makes me feel, which is clean, comfortable and, more importantly, confident. I don’t think my decision to wax is at all anti-feminist. Isn’t feminism about supporting and empowering women in the personal choices they make? If removing my hair is something that helps me feel happier with my own body, then surely that’s the only thing that matters.
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FEEL JUST ASKING…
with Karabo Poppy SA’s iconic illustrator and street artist has partnered with heritage skincare brand Ponds to design one of her signature patterns as a limited-edition gift bag for the brand’s Pimple Clear range. Words by JESÉ-CHÉ LILLIENFELDT
five job. It took me a long time to conquer it.
Glamour: What would we find in your bathroom?
Glamour: Your favourite
KP: Ponds Pimple Clear Face Micellar R69.95, GLAMGLOW
Glamour: What have you learnt
body part? KP: My face reminds me of my mom
Youthmud Glow Stimulating Treatment R835 and Kiehl’s Ultra
about achieving goals?
because I look just like her. I’m lucky
Facial Cleanser R350.
Karabo Poppy: I learnt patience, endurance and humility. I became a globally recognised, black,
to resemble this amazing woman.
female illustrator and street artist, back when people like me were underrepresented. It involved waiting for the right moment or project, then consistently producing challenging and unique work. Realising the amount of work it would take to achieve my goals was humbling.
your shopping list? KP: Fenty Beauty Full Frontal Mascara.
Glamour: What did you overcome to get where you are today? KP: I faced a number of fears. One of the most challenging was the lack of security – the idea of losing the guaranteed salary and security that comes with working a nine-to-
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Glamour: What makes you feel free? KP: The process of imagining visual and accessible art, and then creating it, makes me feel that way, especially if it’s large-scale street art. Glamour: The beauty advice every woman should follow? KP: Make sure you’re getting enough sleep at night. Getting regular shuteye has improved my health.
“Learn to love all that makes you unique, especially the unconventional ways you see the world”
moisturised face. Glamour: What would you say to your 18-year-old-self, knowing what you know now? KP: Learn to love all that makes you unique, especially the unconventional ways you see the world. Honouring your narrative honestly and visually could end up helping you pay your bills and travel the world.
PHOTOGRAPHY: Themba Mbuyisa
Glamour: The one thing you won’t compromise on? KP: I’m a better version of myself when I listen to my body, taking regular days throughout the month to rest and spend time alone. I never used to do this because I thought it would make me less productive. But it was limiting my creative ability.
Glamour: The best new makeup on
Glamour: Your go-to look? KP: A clean, toned and well-
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Oceania Gaze If a solid stroke of a neon liner isn’t enough, add a dot to the centre of your lower lash line for dramatic effect.
Beyond the
TRACE
The most sensitive areas on your face need special attention. Be sure to give them all they deserve this season, with these bold pops of colour. Words by JESÉ-CHÉ LILLIENFELDT Photography by KOUROSH SOTOODEH
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Luscious Tinge Let your colourful lashes do all the talking by pairing your dewy beat with a natural-looking, filled-in brow. Pow! É
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Green Light With a steady hand, create a precise cat’s eye by applying a double stroke of liner: one above, and one below, each lash line. Ready, steady, go!
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Purple Haze The only thing that’s meant to stand out is your sultry eye beat, which can be created by drawing a traditional cat’s eye, only dragging your line up toward your eyebrow bone, and then halfway toward the centre of your eyelid, instead of extending it outwards. Blend in the corners to create a sense of illusion. É
FEEL
Pink Happiness
MAKEUP: Liz Olivier MODEL: Michelle Van Bijnen at Women Management RETOUCHER: VISH Retouch LOCATION: Studio Baza, New York City
To achieve the perfect pout, stain your lips pink and blend a graphic line, starting at the inner corner of your eye. To take it up a flirty notch, add pink mascara to your top and lower lashes.
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FEEL
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FEEL
the
s k i n c a conundrum re We’ve been thinking about our skin all wrong. If you really want to change the way it looks and feels, it’s time to think outside of those old skin-type boxes. Words by ELIZABETH SIEGEL
Y
ou’ve been told that your skin is either oily, dry, sensitive, combination or, most curious of all, normal. “It frustrates me,” says associate clinical professor Mona Gohara. “People get thrown into these buckets, and it doesn’t make sense.” We’ve taken for granted that these classifications define us and our epidermis, but almost nobody fits neatly into one. “People like categories, but in reality, everyone has combination skin – no one is just dry or oily, and you have wrinkles on some parts of your face and not others,” says dermatologist Amy Wechsler. On top of all that, the old categories don’t account for all of the ways we’re learning how the skin works. “Our skin’s biology is more nuanced than we ever thought,” says Mona. And as we understand it better, a new approach to skincare is taking shape. More brands are creating customised formulas for your dry cheeks and brown spots – and yours alone. And that’s just the beginning of a more personalised approach. “We’re learning that everyone’s skin has a unique fingerprint – the bacteria living on your skin and even epigenetics affect how your skin looks,” says dermatologist Whitney Bowe. The technology for figuring out your skin’s DNA is beginning to explode. It’s all going to change the way we approach skincare.
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Soon there will be a litmus test for skin At this year’s consumer electronics show (CES) in Las Vegas, La Roche-Posay debuted a prototype of a wearable sensor that measures skin’s acidity, called My SkinTrack pH. “It’s a small patch that reads your skin’s pH level and uses that data to make skincare recommendations,” says executive editor at CNET Sharon Profis. (The patch’s launch date has yet to be determined.) “They’re [suggesting that] alkalinity and acidity may be more important than traditional skincare categories.” And it makes sense: the younger your skin is, the more acidic it is. “As skin matures, it becomes more basic, and that shift turns on enzymes that break down collagen,” says Whitney. Your genetics and external triggers, like skincare, makeup, even sweat all throw your skin’s pH further out of balance. But if you know that your skin is becoming basic, “you can adjust your routine to normalise pH, turn off these collagen-destroying enzymes, and help prevent wrinkles and sagging,” Whitney continues. That might mean giving up moisturisers with fragrance and scaling back on exfoliating to just once or twice a week.
Your roots are at the root of it “We should appreciate how ethnicity contributes to the uniqueness of skin’s biology, and that can help us look at – and treat – skin in new ways,” says Mona. Researchers are now looking at how your skin’s characteristics are connected to the colour of your skin, even your ethnic background. And brands devoted to treating specific skin tones are popping up. The problem is we don’t yet know all the ins and outs of how skin tone and ethnicity shape our skin. “Brown skin especially has been neglected in research for so long,” she adds. “We have a lot of catching up to do to become a more inclusive world.” Mona imagines a future where beauty counters will offer colour wheels organised by both skin tone and ethnicity: “I could see that my children’s North É
There are already ways to promote healthy bacteria counts and enzyme levels on your skin. Sleep more, swap harsh scrubs for gentle chemical exfoliators, use creamy cleansers with moisturising ingredients, like hyaluronic acid or glycerin, and eat more dark, leafy greens (the bacteria in your gut influence the ones on your skin). And chill out or meditate for 10 minutes daily. “Harvard researchers suggest focusing on deep breathing and mindfulness every day can stop stress from translating into physical inflammation,” Whitney says. “Even if that just means taking a break from multitasking.” Soon enough, labs might be mixing nextgeneration probiotic and prebiotic skincare to foster healthy bacteria growth for your skin’s unique ecosystem. And pharmaceutical companies could feasibly develop medicalgrade skincare ingredients to regulate gene expression. (In this case, that would be the frequency with which your genes turn collagen-depleting enzymes on or off.) “I imagine a future where you’d spit into a tube, swab your skin, and send that off to a lab for an analysis of your skin’s bacteria counts and gene expressions. The results would be combined with lifestyle factors and fed into an algorithm that would make skincare recommendations for you,” says Whitney. “You could take control of your skin’s future.”
“Brown skin especially has been neglected in research for so long” African and Southeast Asian roots converge on this point on the wheel, learn where their skin is biologically, and take that into account,” she says. “Brands offer foundations for more skin tones now, and I want to see that approach expand to skincare.”
There are zillions of bugs on your face Instead of classifying skin as a mix of oily and dry, it would be more accurate (though harder to spell) to describe skin by noting the presence of bacteria like propionibacterium and staphylococcus. “There’s a whole ecosystem of bacteria and enzymes on your skin, and we can measure them more easily than we could just a few years ago,” says Whitney, who studies the skin’s microbial ecosystem and wrote a book on it, Dirty Looks: The Secret to Beautiful Skin (R308, Exclusive Books). “It’s possible to manipulate your skin’s ecosystem to turn certain genes on or off, which can block the release of enzymes that break down collagen to prevent wrinkles and sagging.”
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In the meantime, there are options Until you can base your skincare routine on genetic testing, you can sleuth it out: “One reason the old skincare categories don’t cut it is that people misdiagnose themselves all the time,” says dermatologist Jeanine Downie. One of the most common mistakes is thinking you’re oily when you’re actually dry with breakouts. (If you wash your face at 8am and it’s not shiny by 3pm, it’s a good indication you’re not oily.) “Salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide will dry you out, so you can’t use a lot of over-the-counter options for breakouts.” Your dermatologist can prescribe a benzoyl peroxide with a hydrating base to dab on spots, or prescription medication along with retinol and hyaluronic acid to use overnight once a week to balance skin out. Pay attention to how your skin changes throughout the month. “If it gets oily when you’re stressed or during your period, use a salicylic or glycolic acid cleanser,” says Jeanine, explaining that that evens out stress levels. Of course, it’s a lot easier to figure out why your skin is acting the way it is with the help of a dermatologist. “Your skin may react differently than my skin, which is where customisable formulas can help,” says Mona. “But everything you’re experiencing is just one part of your skin’s bigger picture. What’s really going on is much more complex than ticking an oily- or dry-skin box.”
PHOTOGRAPHY: Birgitte Sporrer/Gallo Images/Getty Images, Peathegee/Gallo Images/Getty Images
FEEL
FEEL
SCENT
R E FR ES H Words by JESÉ-CHÉ LILLIENFELDT
Cooler days call for fresh yet warm and sensual scents, and while it’s not exactly mandatory to change your fragrance with the seasons, these perfumes will give you seven reasons to do exactly that. COACH DREAMS EDP R1 505
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This light, fresh, daytime scent has the tartness of grapefruit without being too citrusy. Rose makes it sweet yet powdery and aromatic. With litchi, magnolia, musk and cedar, it’s the perfect scent as we head into the balmy season.
PHOTOGRAPHY: Supplied
C H L O É L’ E A U E D T R 1 0 0 5
Inspired by freedom, adventure and endless possibilities, this playful and light-hearted scent celebrates every dreamer’s carefree spirit. Opening notes of fresh fruit finished with lasting woody notes, will ignite your desire to make memories, and take you on a journey, from beginning to end. You’ll be smitten from the first spritz.
BERDOUES GUARIA MORADA R1 595 If you’re looking for a floral, sweet, fruity and delicate scent to accompany you through the next few years and leave you with a lasting memory, this is it. With aromatic orange, Amyris and patchouli, combined with Guaria Morada – which is Costa Rica’s unique and iconic flower and is a symbol of good luck – it’ll fast become your autumn staple.
D I P T YQ U E E AU D E MINTHÉ EDP R2 200 Inspired by ancient Greece, this perfume
MON GUERLAIN EDP INTENSE R2 655
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Vanilla lovers, this one’s for you. It’s lowkey fabulous, as you’ll catch whiffs of Shalimar, rose, patchouli and mandarinorange, to name but a few. You won’t want
exudes the green,
to stop smelling your wrists. It’s feminine
aromatic scent of mint, accentuated by nutmeg. It’s a modern Fougère
without being over-powering, and yet each layer is multifaceted. You’ll catch many different nuances, and it’ll
(fern, in French) that has classic, herbaceous notes, such as geranium and patchouli, which adds depth to its composition. With a shot of refreshing mint instead of lavender, which is typical of Fougère perfumes, it’s the ideal accompaniment to any occasion.
continue to change the longer you wear this lovely, gentle scent that has phenomenal longevity.
PEPE JEANS C E L E B R AT E R 7 9 5
BYREDO GYP SY WAT E R E D P R 2 7 2 0
One of the best neutral-smelling, ever-so-light-perfect-for-almost-any-occasion fragrances you’ll smell. It’s bound to give you an instant pick-me-up.
Wear this if you don’t want to smell like the rest of ’em. Its name alone will send your mind to a dreamy location, and its simple and calm scent, with notes of sandalwood, lemon, vanilla and juniper, will seal the deal. You can even wear it straight out of the shower when you’re about to go to bed as it sits on your skin beautifully and doesn’t leave a trail of scent. But the fragrance other people will experience is captivating. This soft, long-lasting scent also works well layered.
FEEL Her beauty mantra is to keep things natural, and the most rewarding part of her job is restoring peoples’ self-confidence. Meet Gabriella Slotow, owner and founder of Holly’s Hair Growth.
What inspired your business idea? I suffered from thinning hair and hair loss, and I discovered women (not just men) suffer from this problem too. There weren’t many effective solutions out there, apart from extremely expensive procedures, such as hair transplants. How did you start? After many hours of researching the causes and origins of hair loss, I realised that, unfortunately, there isn’t one blanket cure. I spent a lot of time working closely with natural healers and cosmetic chemists, who helped me to perfect my formulation.
PAN AFRICAN BEAUTY
Holly’s Hair Growth Words by JESÉ-CHÉ LILLIENFELDT
What challenges did you experience? Starting any business from scratch with limited capital is a huge challenge. You have to be a jack-ofall-trades: marketing, accounting, dispatch, website design, and even driving. I spent many nights teaching myself all I needed to know while working a full-time job and studying towards a degree. What goals have you set for your business?
hollys_hairgrowth
I want to help women and men, everywhere, to be healthier, by using healthy products, and to educate them about going natural. I also want to let people know you can beat baldness. You don’t have to suffer in silence because we have the solution. We plan to expand our range of products to offer all-natural alternatives to everyday products, such as toothpaste, face masks and shaving creams. What makes Holly’s Hair Growth different from its competitors? I’m a big believer in the benefits of all-natural products. At Holly’s, the ingredients used to make our products don’t have harmful chemicals in them.
PHOTOGRAPHY: Supplied
Who uses your products? Men and women, of all ages, who’re suffering from hair loss or want to use a healthy, all-natural, organic product. What role does marketing play in your success? It’s everything when it comes to building a brand because having an amazing product that nobody knows about is pointless. Our
“...you can beat baldness. You don’t have to suffer in silence because we have the solution” most effective form of marketing
Anything is possible. If you can
is definitely by word-of-mouth. Our clients are encouraged to enter our yearly competition to become the face of Holly’s Hair Growth. Each entrant submits photos and a write-up of their natural-hair-growth journey. This helps customers who’re new to the product to engage with and seek advice from people with first-hand experience of our products and how effective they are.
dream it, you can make it – all you have to do is just go and do it!
What inspires you to be successful? Our wonderful clients, and seeing our brand grow daily. Having come from struggling to sell five bottles of shampoo per week to where we are now has been extremely motivating and inspiring. What advice would you give to your 18-year-old self, knowing what you know now?
Your favourite moment? It was when I realised my perseverance and patience was worth it. I saw the full result of my product for the first time, and it was an amazing feeling. What’s on your shopping list? Holly’s Hair Growth Original Silk Shampoo and Holly’s Activated Charcoal Whitening Toothpaste (both launching soon). I love designing new products, so almost everything I use is a formulation I’ve made, and continued to perfect, before I’ve given it to other women to try.
For more information, visit hollyshairgrowth.co.za
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THIS IS THE FUN PART
PRODUCTION, CREATIVE DIRECTION & WARDROBE: Jason Alexander Basson STYLING: the creatives in collaboration with Jason Alexander Basson STYLE ASSISTANT: Palesa Matlebyane (@palesa_thestylist) PHOTOGRAPHY: Aart Verrips at Red Hot Ops PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT: Thato Mabaso HAIR & MAKEUP: Lesley Whitby at Lampost MODEL: Tamara Moeng LOCATION: African Penthouses. Tamara wears; T-shirt Woolworths (Stylist’s Own), utility vest Leaf Apparel (Stylist’s Own), earrings Lovisa POR
Ambassador for adidas Originals, championing the launch of the adidas x IVY PARK collab, and the country’s moststreamed female artist of 2019, Shekhinah is creating a space for self-empowerment and disrupting the entertainment industry.
Words by SHANNON MANUEL Styling by MIRA LEIBOWITZ Photography by AART VERRIPS Top POR Cindy Mfabe; earrings R1 650 Pichulik
OPPOSITE PAGE Dress R799 and heels R1 599 both Zara; hat R1 650 Crystal Birch; sunglasses R2 290 Emporio Armani; necklace R125 ByCara
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Shirt dress POR ALYSU; earrings R170 and pearl necklaces R195 each both ByCara
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HAIR: Saadique Ryklief with Balmain MAKEUP: Caroline Greeff
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Coinciding with National Women’s Day, Shekhinah invited us to Rose Fest, a festival filled with fantasy that simultaneously celebrated the power of women in the South African music industry – each act personally chosen by her – and her awardwinning debut album, Rose Gold. “I’ve wanted to own property in the music industry since I started working on my album a few years ago, and to host a festival that celebrates talented women in the SA music industry,” she says. “It took two years, which was longer than I expected, because I had to work out all the logistics, but last year, we were finally ready to host Rose Fest in Joburg and Durban – and it really was something monumental for our country. “The realisation I’d never been booked for anything that celebrated women on Women’s Day was a big thing for me. Women are celebrated every August, yet bookings-wise it’s always my quietest time of year. I find that strange. That’s why I knew August would be the perfect time. Every show or festival I’ve performed at has been created by men – the fact a woman has never owned these is a big deal. We support all these men who put on their shows, but why aren’t more women on the same platform? Of my staff, 90% are women, I own the company and I’m a woman. I felt it was necessary to support other women, and it was also the right time.” It was important to Shekhinah to show that you can support more than one female artist, without comparing them to each other, singling out their differences and drawing empty conclusions about who’s better – a trend that she’s fed up of. “I don’t want to pick one to support: I choose them all!” she says. The misconception that women can’t headline and carry a show is another patriarchal system that, in Shekhinah’s opinion, needs to undergo a shift. “It’s the norm for popular line-ups to feature multiple male artists but only one woman, which is unfair. In one line-up there might be Casper, AKA and Nasty C, who’re three very expensive male artists, but you won’t see three very expensive female artists alongside them. It’s as though they’re obliged to feature one of us, and not because we don’t want to be involved. I want to change that, and even if I don’t, I want to make a difference. People are becoming more aware of the obvious sidelining of women, and they’re not accepting it.
“What people don’t realise is that [patriarchy] limits women’s belief in what we’re capable of, and it also dictates the way we think. We end up seeing it like, okay, we have to be friends with certain males to get certain things, or we have to know this person or we doubt we can build something on our own. There’s always a sense that you need to find someone or something [to help]; that you’re not good enough on your own. For me, it’s important not to fall into that way of thinking. I don’t have to tie my identity to men in the industry or be a part of a clique. I don’t feel that pressure, and I don’t want other women to either. Since my career began, that’s always been the mentality. I’m tired of it. It needs to stop. I want women to be known for who they are, and they should be free to construct their identities – independent of men and valued equally.” Shekhinah hopes that the industry will offer support structures for women and create platforms that will level the playing field for all artists. While support from fans was phenomenal, the road to Rose Fest wasn’t easy, and it required lots of determination, hard work and mental strength. “Honestly, I wanted to give up so many times, especially leading up to the Durban performance. I think I only started marketing the show about two weeks beforehand because I was dealing with my demons about doing the show again without the finances or support, and then deciding to do it anyway because I didn’t want people to think I couldn’t. I didn’t want people to say women can’t do two events. It was important for me to fight myself, all the way from putting it on the shelf to somehow giving myself the courage to say, okay, let’s do it again, regardless of what the outcomes are. The cause is much bigger than anything else and, honestly, if I hadn’t done it, I would’ve been in a worse state today, having had to overcome all the nos and doors closing in my face – [avoiding that] motivated me to keep going.” She’s described as a disruptor by many people. When asked if she views herself as one, she replies, “Absolutely. I feel like there are so many ways to describe a disruptor. I don’t know how to explain it without being some type of way or coming across as arrogant, but I do consider myself a disruptor. I’m a leading woman in my industry, I own my music, and I É
“The misconception that women can’t headline and carry a show is another patriarchal system that needs to undergo a shift”
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“If I follow trends, it’s usually to see what not to do”
don’t have a manager or coordinator. I am who I am. I get to decide who I want to be every single day. I think that in itself is disruptive,” she says. “I love challenging practices or ideologies that need to change and making people think and feel differently. One of my favourite things is being in [traditionally] male spaces and trying to make men feel uncomfortable by not being subservient to them. I like doing things people don’t expect me to because I think that’s an exciting way to live.” And Shekhinah’s definition of being your authentic self is simply “being okay with not feeling the same way as everyone else, unapologetically”. When asked about the legacy she hopes to leave with her music, she says it must stand the test of time and be meaningful. For her, it’s not about consistently releasing music every month of the year, or following trends – something she struggles with. “If I follow trends, it’s usually to see what not to do,” she laughs. “The fact Rose Gold was released two years ago, but I’m still the number-one female artist in the country, is empowering. Yes, I’ve released lots of other tracks that aren’t on that album, so I’ve actually been releasing music for five or six years, but I need to do something that has a lasting impact. People are still talking about Lauryn’s album [The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill]. Her themes and lyrics still resonate with people 22 years later, and people get excited when they hear her name or watch her perform. They still want more from her. “I think that’s why I take my time with my music. I’m doing that with my second project because I want it to have a similar effect on people. I want it to have longevity and be something that people will enjoy, relate to or feel in years to come. I want to be like Lauryn. I don’t want to be a trend that phases out. I also want to help people navigate different phases in their lives with my music. A good example is Adele and her albums 19, 21 and 25 – we can all relate to these different stages in our own lives.” Giving us insight into her creative process, Shekhinah explains that it’s a combination of audience expectation and the stories she wants to tell. “I’m intrigued by other peoples’ stories and what everyone else is going through – especially
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women – because, in my opinion, there are universal problems that we all go through, albeit on different scales. I’m trying to address these issues by looking at myself as a human being and speaking from that perspective.” And on the subject of being human, she reveals she still feels nervous before she performs. “I don’t want to let people down with a bad performance. It’s important to me that people get the best version of me.” Last year, Shekhinah was Apple Music’s most-streamed female artist in SA, and she has nothing but overwhelming gratitude for her fans. “It’s great to have evidence that people are listening because I don’t always feel like I’m the best or greatest. The music industry is notorious for being tough to be in and stay in, but small gems like that inspire me to continue on my path,” she says. Also in 2019, was the release of Scarlet Hill Beauty, the first-ever beauty brand by Mr Price, featuring Shekhinah and Lungile Thabethe, as the brand ambassador and head makeup artist respectively. “Mr Price means so much to me, and working with the brand is a childhood dream come true. I think, for any South African child, Mr Price has always been ‘the place where mommy got my clothes from’, and it was where you wanted to buy your clothes from when you were growing up. And I love the beauty industry! I love makeup so much that I wear it to every occasion, so it was such a wonderful opportunity for me. Makeup helps me find my identity as an artist and get into character, so I’m excited about the collaboration.” Shekhinah’s goals for 2020 include releasing new music, which has been taking up most of her time. While she doesn’t want to give too much away, she says that by making her new album, she’s embarked on a journey with her fans, of growing up and entering the next chapter. “Rose Gold was just the beginning; the foundation upon which I’ve built [my career]. A significant amount of time has passed [since it was released], and my new experiences and growth have influenced my latest album. I’m excited about completing it, and its release will be a big moment for me.” Shekhinah remains hopeful Rose Fest will happen again this year and plans to invest more in her industry. “I want to change the way women work in the entertainment industry. I want more of them to understand that they have the power to be their own boss, in every capacity, no matter what it takes.” Blazer R2 599, track pants R1 499 and sneakers R999 all adidas; diamante cape (under blazer) POR Warrick Gautier; sunglasses R4 100 Miu Miu
QUICK-FIRE Q’S
Who’s on your radar this year? Definitely Koffee from Jamaica and Ami Faku from SA. Besides in music, where else do your passions lie? In children and their overall well-being, as well as female empowerment. What songs by women empower you? Whitney Houston’s ‘I’m Every Woman’, Summer Walker’s ‘Girls Need Love Too’ and Jessi J’s ‘Do It Like a Dude’. What’s your best beauty shortcut? Tinted brows, individual lashes and healthy skin! Your current beauty obsession? Definitely a feathered brow and festival glitter under the eye. What or who are you obsessed with in general? Summer Walker! I love her second album. A beauty look you’re dying to try? Short waves that look like Yoliswa Mqoco or Betty Boo’s, except in my natural hair. Must-haves from Scarlet Hill Beauty? The setting spray and the Contour and Glow Palette. Your most memorable interaction with a fan? Wow, it’s always on stage in our feels, singing together and making eye contact. Your most memorable performance and why? ‘Let You Know’ in 2015 at The MAMAs. It was the first time I realised who I was. I hadn’t really known until then. The artists you dream about working with? Oh my gosh, lots of them! SZA is obviously a big dream (but I’m also okay with it just being a dream), Nigerian singer and rapper Rema and Koffee.
RECHARGE! A 2013 study looked at how long we sleep compared to the past decades – we were a full hour down from 1942. Now we diligently make sure our phones get ample bed rest while we get 6.8 hours. So here’s your wake-up call: it’s time to go to sleep.
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OP UFDI
Working from a survey of 778 randy respondents, researchers from Central Queensland University in Australia published a study last March that showed there are no major gender differences in perceived sleep quality and sleep latency (how long it takes you to fall asleep) after an orgasm. The majority of men and women surveyed felt that orgasms with a partner led to better sleep quality and latency, and half felt that orgasms from masturbation led to better sleep quality. But anecdotally, that’s not been the experience of many women. “It’s like running 10km right before bed,� one woman said. “Of course, I can’t sleep afterwards.� Nicole Prause, the founder of the sex-research lab Liberos, knows why: she described a cocktail of hormones that get released during an orgasm. Some of those appear to be tied to sleepiness – Nicole has high hopes for the hormone vasopressin in particular. But: “Women appear to call ‘orgasm’ lots of responses that physiologists would not,� she warns. “Women may not be having the high sexual arousal that is associated with vasopressin release, even if they think they are.� Nicole also suggests that a disturbance in routine might be to blame for postcoital can’t-sleep-ness. Consistency is one of the main pillars of sleep-hygiene best practices: doctors recommend deploying a relaxing pre-bed routine at the same time every night, meaning all variables (including lighting and bedding) should be kept within a thin margin. When you have an orgasm might also influence sleep quality. Nicole hasn’t determined yet whether it’s best to have sex or masturbate when you’re in bed and ready to fall asleep or, say, 30 minutes before you’re ready to go to bed. It might take some experimentation to find a pre-sleep sex routine that’s right for you. The way we experience sleep is as individual and mysterious as the way we experience sex. There are people who fall into a deep slumber immediately after sex, just as there are women who have orgasms from penetration alone. If that’s not you, don’t let it keep you up at night.
COME TO BED
SEXSOMNIA O TFLTsTÆNsOİsVI
A SLEEPING DISORDER IN WHICH A PERSON HAS SEX WITH NO COGNISANCE OR MEMORY OF IT ONCE AWAKE. It’s easiest to think of sexsomnia as a form of sleepwalking, explains Michael Grandner, the director of the Sleep and Health Research Program at the University of Arizona. Michael describes it as an unemotional state – less passion, more programmed, with a high incidence of errors. There are relatively few cases of reported sexsomnia, probably because a partner initiating sex in the middle of the night, however trancelike and clumsy they appear, wouldn’t automatically indicate a sleep disorder. Why would an ear, nose and throat examination (ENT) be a useful source for information regarding nocturnal unconscious-sex-having? In some cases, sleep disorders can begin in the throat: sleep apnea is caused when tissue in the throat collapses and obstructs the airway, hindering breathing and interrupting sleep, which can lead to excessive daytime fatigue that could trigger sexsomnia as well, and it might be easier to spot. Sleep apnea’s calling card is
OP UFDI
THE BUMBLEBEE METHOD
exhaustion and snoring, but any kind of sleep disorder can have physical indicators. “Sleep deprivation from anything causes mental issues: lack of
For those tired of counting sheep – or those who’ve never actually
concentration, poor memory, and
counted sheep in their entire life but think it’s kind of a quaint idea: Alison
decreased focus,� says Michael. The
‘Anandi’ Francis, the sleep guru at the One&Only Reethi Rah resort in the
best course of treatment is to visit a
Maldives, has a better idea.
doctor for a sleep study, which can
For 10 to 15 minutes each night, as you lie in bed, inhale normally, and
lead to medication when needed, and
while you exhale, hum like a bumblebee with your mouth closed.
perhaps better sleep hygiene (seven
(Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.) What’s happening is you’re lengthening the
to nine hours, and no gadgets or
exhale, which research suggests sends parasympathetic nerve signals
alcohol).
that slow your heart rate and increase relaxation.
– COTTON CODINHA É
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IN PURSUIT OF DREAMS For centuries, humans slept peacefully: in caves, then in mud huts, then in plush Victorian canopy beds (the lucky ones, anyway), and then in Joburg and Durban and bedrooms all over the world. Then, around 2007, our iPhones started keeping us up at night. Experts – and pretty much everyone else – agree: keep your smartphone out of the bedroom and your sleep will get better. But what about going totally analogue? Author Maggie Lange turns back the alarm clock. ‘Once I was a fool. I quietly lamented my restless-sleep situation by looking at online recipes for calming juices and thought I’d solve my problems with a bird-chirp alarm clock that imitated the sun rising in my bedroom. I could both buy and program this machine with my phone. Perhaps this was the thought that stopped me from hitting the ‘confirm purchase’ button. Maybe my techno comforts were the problem. ‘My phone had become the bookend of the sleep equation. My alarm clock was also my bedtime relaxant – filled with an endless scroll of photographs of plants that lived in beautiful apartments. I love that, but clearly, the digital connection was impinging on my sleep from both sides. And what is sleep if not going off the grid? I bought a battery-operated radio alarm clock, a bunch of lavender and a set of linen sheets. We’re going analogue, baby.
‘I love to sleep. It’s a time that’s free from decision-making and the expense of being alive. When I told the person selling me lavender about my ambition to sleep perfectly with no technological aids, she said: “Yes, I love to dream.” What I didn’t tell her is that dreaming is irrelevant to me, but I do want to reduce my midsleep tussling, and I want to wake up brightly. I think that about 80% of sleeping well is waking up well. When the dog paws the bed for food or attention at the morning time of his choosing, I want to have slept so well that I have zero grog. I feel like I’m announcing a fantastic new policy with no plan of how to implement it, but that’s never stopped anyone before me! ‘The first night I committed to using an alarm clock, I placed my phone on a stack of notebooks on my desk, like I was tucking it in bed. I lit a candle – a subtle, salty smell that was perfect for a 10pm mood – and applied some intoxicating wellness oil to my pressure points. I wore a dressing gown, slippers and a silky eye mask. I stayed up until 1:45am making a playlist, like a teenager. ‘I asked my partner to pick out something dense for me to read. The choice was: Simone de Beauvoir’s The Ethics of Ambiguity. What are the ethics of ambiguity? I probed without grasping: it was both very interesting and couldn’t be read for longer than two minutes if lying down. I went mad with pillow sprays too. The one I have, a ginfresh herb party, says on the box: ‘My skin is only ever as good as my last night’s sleep’. It’s a spray I can never live up to, the way I think passing out in the ’60s must’ve felt like.
“I bought a battery-operated radio alarm clock, a bunch of lavender and linen sheets. We’re going analogue, baby” 80 glamour.co.za
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Average NUMBER OF HOURS PEOPLE SLEPT PER NIGHT CFGPSF 5IPNBT &EJTPO JOWFOUFE UIF MJHIU CVMC JO ‘It took me three alarm clocks to find my soul mate. The radio clock was a huge mess. In waking hours, unreliability is the charm of the radio. In the vulnerable state of returning to the world, I risked either blaring car commercials or the news, which had no good news for me. “Definitely don’t do that!” the anchor told me. It felt fitting to be mad at an alarm clock, an indifferent machine with a fascist position on waking me up. ‘The second alarm beeped at an increased volume and a rapid pace. I woke up saying, “I don’t like how this works; I don’t like how this works.” When I found my perfect alarm clock, a travel one, it was instant friendship. It’s simple, but I can choose a beeping song called ‘Jasmine’. While ‘Jasmine’ does have a video-game relationship to melody, it’s breezy, peaceful, and not chipper. ‘I still suddenly wonder about the temperature the next day. But it’s much easier to resist checking if you have to walk to the kitchen.’
PHOTOGRAPHY: Sylvie Tittel/Unsplash.com, Artem Everest/Unsplash.com
MPX UFDI
THE BEST SLEEPERS IN T H E WO R L D LIVE IN NEW ZEALAND That’s according to Sleep Cycle, a snooze-tracking app with millions of global users. What it doesn’t tell us is why, so we asked Vanessa Andrews, who isn’t a scientist or sleep expert of any sort but is a Kiwi – and as South Africans, we trust her. Here’s why. There’s a conscious thought process in terms of what lifestyle we want, as opposed to ‘I need more money’, or ‘I need a bigger house’. Instead it’s more, ‘How do I want to live?’ Like New Zealanders, people have more balance in South Africa. We’re choosing hiking and family time. Whereas in the UK or US... People work bloody hard, all hours. Accountants living there could be checking emails until nine at night, which is not good. People tend to exercise more in South Africa because getting outdoors is easier. Any words of sleep wisdom? Get off the treadmill. And get out and enjoy some of your beautiful country.
6.8
Average OVNCFS PG HOURS PEOPLE SLEEP A CENTURYPLUS LATER
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So You Want to Try Intuitive Eating, but If You’re Being Honest, You Still Want to Watch Your Weight. What to Do? Words by JESSICA JONES
I’m a registered dietician who’s come around to intuitive eating. Here’s why. Intuitive eating is a hot topic right now. It’s discussed in a New York Times article titled ‘Smash the Wellness Industry’ (If you haven’t read it yet, READ. IT. NOW.) The author talks about how she was sick of seeing powerful, smart, feminist-identifying women – including herself – fall for pseudoscientific ‘wellness’ claims that are, ultimately, the author argues, really just about weight loss. She talks about her own journey with dieting and wellness culture while deconstructing the problematic diet industry and ultimately concluding by talking about her discovery of intuitive eating, which she credits with changing her life for the better. For those not familiar with this concept, intuitive eating is an evidenced-based approach to eating that was originally designed to help chronic dieters get back in tune with their body’s unique needs, rather than rely on external food rules to determine what, when and how much they eat. If you’ve ever dieted, you probably know that getting some of those rules out of your head is tough, even when you’re no longer actively trying to lose weight. If we’re using an intuitive-eating framework, then the ultimate goal is to use your internal wisdom to decide what, when and how much to eat, not external rules like no eating after 8pm or no refined carbs allowed. When you first learn about intuitive eating, it can sound like it’s solely about eating when you’re hungry and not eating when you’re not, but it’s a lot more nuanced than that. For example, maybe it’s 11am and you aren’t hungry for lunch yet, but you know that this is your only opportunity to eat a meal before 5pm. Should you listen to your lack of hunger and skip that opportunity to eat? The intuitive eating argument would probably be no. Similarly, maybe it’s 9pm, and even though you’ve had more than your ‘estimated kilojoule needs’ for the day, you’re still hungry. Do you just go to bed and ignore
your body’s hunger signals? I would say no, as would the intuitive-eating approach. In other words, intuitive eating is definitely about listening to your body’s hunger and fullness cues, but it’s not only about that. It’s also about the practicality of eating when you’re not hungry because you might not have a chance to eat for several more hours. And it’s also about satisfaction – that is, having a thing you really want to eat simply because it’ll satisfy you to do so. For example, society tells you that chips are unhealthy, but for you, they are a good, satisfying snack, and you may feel deprived if you don’t get to have them. With intuitive eating, you can choose to have the chips and not feel guilty about it, even though diet culture says that we should. The idea here is that by paying attention to what your body and mind are asking you for, you’ll feel satisfied, not deprived, hungry, hangry, or craving foods that you aren’t ‘allowed’ to eat because of a diet you’re following. If you’re like so many people, including clients I work with daily, you’re thinking, ‘This sounds great; I’d give anything to have a less fraught relationship with food, but I also want to control my weight, and for that, I do have to follow rules about what I eat?’ It’s a dilemma I hear a lot: is it possible to practise intuitive eating and have a healthier relationship with food, while also wanting to lose or maintain your weight? É
“You can choose to have the chips and not feel guilty about it, even though diet culture says that we should”
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The short answer: not really, to be honest. Now let me explain how I got there. When I first heard about intuitive eating, I was working as a registered dietician in an outpatient community clinic, focusing on chronic disease management. Yes, I still took an individualised, patient-centred approach to care, but my primary intervention for my clients in larger bodies was weight loss. So when I first learned about intuitive eating, I was resistant. Part of this was due to what I learnt in school: ‘the more weight you lose, the more you can manage your symptoms’. Another part of my resistance had to do with many doctors’ orders. Almost every patient referred to me had an ‘overweight’ or ‘obese’ diagnosis that the medical provider wanted me to address via diet. Another part had to do with the patient themselves. Because we live in a diet-focused culture, patients, like so many of us, often hold the belief that thinner equals better and healthier. So, sure, intuitive eating sounded great, but how could I square its principles and goals with my work in the clinic? It was my social worker colleague who gave me my first copy of Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works, written by registered dieticians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. After reading the book, doing more research, and taking Ebelyn’s intuitive-eating course for health professionals, everything clicked. I realised exactly what intuitive eating was, what it wasn’t, and why body respect was paramount when adopting this philosophy around food. Still, whenever I take on a new client, I do a consultation call with them to make sure that my weight-inclusive approach is a good fit for what they need and want. Almost inevitably, clients say they want to take an intuitive-eating approach to their well-being but are also not 100% happy with their body, and they hope that working with me will help them address that. Here’s the thing: one of the core principles of intuitive eating is to respect your body or, at the very least, learn to be more neutral about it. Proponents of intuitive eating would argue that intentional weight loss is contradictory to body respect because if you unconditionally respect your body, you wouldn’t go to so much trouble to make it smaller. I’ve heard Evelyn give the example of shoe size when explaining this concept. We wouldn’t try to squeeze a size-10 foot into a
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size-6 shoe, right? For the most part, we accept our shoe size as something neutral and move on. Why, then, do we expect anything different from our bodies? We’re sold that idea that a size 6 is somehow better than a size 10, a size 10 is better than a size 12, a size 12 is better than a size 24 – and so on. Diet culture also sells us the idea that smaller isn’t just better; it’s healthier. The reality is that, even when it comes to health, a size-10 person isn’t inherently healthier than a size-12 person. Weight is one marker of health, but it’s far from the only one. The main reason that the dual pursuit of intentional weight loss and intuitive eating is tricky is this: when my clients start to focus on losing weight, at some point, they have to make a food or fitness decision that overrides their body’s natural cues. In other words, the very act of pursuing weight loss means that there’ll probably be a restriction of some kind. This contradicts multiple core principles of intuitive eating, including ‘reject the diet mentality’ and ‘make peace with food’. According to the intuitive-eating website, making peace with food involves giving ‘yourself unconditional permission to eat. [Because] if you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing’. I’ve seen this happen time and time again with clients. When we’re trying to lose weight, we often have to micromanage our food intake, which is essentially the opposite of intuitive eating. So my answer to the question is: no, intuitive eating and weight loss aren’t really compatible. This is because intuitive eating and weight loss aren’t answers to the same question. They’re, in and of themselves, their own distinct goals. Can you work toward two different goals at the same? Often, yes. But when one goal requires behaviour changes that the other goal requires you to forgo, the answer’s no. The truth is intuitive eating is its own journey, and it takes a lot of work to get to a place where you can really let go of the diet mentality. But before getting there, you have to make a huge emotional leap along with a massive behavioural change, which is to let go of the desire to control your weight. Most of my clients find it helpful to just talk about these concepts and explore their eating and dieting history. Some questions I may ask include: has the pursuit of weight loss worked long-term? What did you have to give up to get to a lower body weight? Did it take an emotional toll? Did you feel good physically? There’s no one-size-fits-all approach here, but digging deeper and helping clients connect some of the dots for themselves is usually a good place to start. If a client is really struggling, I always recommend working with a licensed therapist who’s well versed in the concepts of health at every size, intuitive eating, and body respect (I’ve worked with a lot of amazing psychologists who’ve helped my patients tremendously).
PHOTOGRAPHY: Vgajic/Gallo Images/Getty Images, Luis Alvarez/Gallo Images/Getty Images
“...intuitive eating and weight loss aren’t answers to the same question”
LIVE Of course, making the argument for forging a neutral and respectful relationship with our bodies is easy for someone living with thin privilege, as many dietician-proponents of intuitive eating are. I consider myself curvy, but I still have an incredible amount of thin privilege. Because of weight discrimination (which I assure you is real), I’m treated better in this society than someone in a larger body would be. This means that I don’t have to worry about being harassed by ignorant people on planes or scolded about my weight by my doctor during a Pap smear. So even though research supports the idea that we can pursue health at every size and that most weight-loss diets fail, we still live in a reality in which people with thin bodies are privileged over those who don’t. Not to mention it’s hard to scroll through Instagram and be bombarded with thin women in bikinis getting all the love. Or to witness women being publicly shamed for gaining too much weight during pregnancy only to be praised for their ‘snap-back’ when they lose it quickly. Going against that grain can be exhausting. Which is why, if you’ve done your research, and decided that the pursuit of intentional weight loss makes sense for you, then that’s your prerogative. At the end of the day, your body is your business. I’m a big advocate of bodily
autonomy, which means that you have the right to decide what’s best for your own body. My point is to say that intuitive eating is not something you’d do to pursue a specific body-related goal. In fact, the only goals it’s meant to serve are (a) having a less fraught relationship with food (which some studies suggest may lead to improvements in health) and (b) improved mental health. If you’re someone who’s looking for expert-led, evidencebased advice for losing weight for a health-related reason, I would say that intuitive eating may not be the best approach for you at this time, though there are parts of it that you might still adopt. If you, like many of my clients, feel like weight loss will solve all of your problems, my challenge to you is this: consider shifting your perspective from wanting to change your body to change how you feel about your body. It takes time, but it’s worth it. Jessica Jones is a registered dietician and nutritionist who helps people improve their health while healing their relationship with food. She’s also the co-founder of Food Heaven, an online resource for delicious and nutricious living.
THINK
The ultimate guide to survive
mercury retrograde Everything you need to know to get through Mercury’s backwards-spin this year.
Words by SOPHIE SAINT THOMAS
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OK, so what exactly is Mercury retrograde? Mercury — named after the Roman deity who served as a messenger to the gods — is the quick-moving planet that governs communication, travel and technology. It helps us transmit messages by controlling both what we say and how we process what we hear from others. Three or four times per year, Mercury appears to go backwards in the sky. While other planets also go retrograde, this particular retrograde has the potential to mess up all things related to communication and transmission. Shakeups aside, when Mercury rests, it gives us time to take a breath. This time is the planetary reflection of ‘measure twice, cut once’, and offers three chances to make sure our work is perfect. The first occurs when Mercury initially crosses a degree in the sky during a time known as its pre-retrograde shadow. The second happens when Mercury is retrograde and reverses over this degree, which is when mistakes may be reviewed and corrected. Our final chance to move forwards is when Mercury makes its final crossing over the degree, during what’s known as a post-retrograde shadow. Basically, the effects of Mercury retrograde start to kick in about two weeks before the planet begins to appear to move backwards from the earth, and the clean up continues for up to two weeks after the retrograde ends. During a Mercury retrograde, we must be extremely careful with our language. Triple-check every text, email and DM, and take the time to carefully explain your intentions. Spelling errors and Freudian slips are bound to happen.
PHOTOGRAPHY: Dmitry Ageev/Gallo Images/Getty Images
If you suffered from a bad case of saying the wrong thing at the worst time earlier this year, there’s an explanation in the stars, and its name is Mercury retrograde. Here’s everything you need to know about this cosmic event. On Sunday 16 February, Mercury (the planet of communication) went reverse in watery Pisces, entering its first retrograde of 2020. This was the same day that Mars, the planet of action and desire, entered careeroriented Capricorn. When the swift-moving Mercury cruised backwards, you may have experienced frustrating miscommunications, technology meltdowns and travel mishaps. Thankfully, with the warrior planet Mars in hardworking Capricorn, we got a motivational boost to help us survive Mercury’s infamous retrograde. Mercury moonwalked through Pisces, traversing the sensitive astrological sign associated with dreams, spirituality, and creativity until Wednesday 4 March, when it changed gears and entered eccentric Aquarius. An air sign, Aquarius is rational and intellectual. The planet was happy in this sign, where it stayed until Monday 9 March. However, that wasn’t the only Mercury retrograde of the year, and you’ll need to know a bit more about this cosmic event so you can buckle up and make the most of it. So what’s the deal with Mercury retrograde anyway, and what’re the best ways to combat (or at least survive) it? Read on for what you need to know to sail out of this cosmic facepalm intact.
“Remember to proofread everything, choose your words carefully, avoid signing contracts...” Mercury retrogrades also muddle our decision-making, so avoid signing any major contracts during this time (although, if you must, be sure to thoroughly read the fine print). When it comes to technology, Mercury retrograde is to blame for massive electronic meltdowns, so it’s advisable not to buy any new gadgets for the next three weeks, and if you do, make sure they come with a warranty. Travel can be extra-frustrating during Mercury retrograde, too, so prepare for delays, cancellations and lots of headaches. Last, but certainly not least, we can always expect people from the past – including old flames – to re-emerge during Mercury retrograde. In many cases, it’s best to kindly decline unexpected coffee invites and ‘innocent’ proposals to grab drinks.
When is Mercury retrograde in 2020? There’re three Mercury retrograde cycles in 2020. They are: 16 FEBRUARY – 9 MARCH: The pre-retrograde shadow began on 2 February, and the postretrograde shadow ended on 29 March. 18 JUNE – 12 JULY: The pre-retrograde shadow begins on 2 June, and the postretrograde shadow ends on 26 July. 13 OCTOBER – 3 NOVEMBER: The pre-retrograde shadow begins on 23 September, and the post-retrograde shadow ends on 19 November.
How can I survive Mercury retrograde? Is there anything good about it? Surviving Mercury retrograde is pretty simple: remember to proofread everything, choose your words carefully, avoid signing contracts (or review them extra-carefully), back up your data and plan for travel mishaps. The truth, cosmic warrior, is that Mercury retrograde isn’t all bad; in fact, it can serve as your quarterly self-assessment. How prepared are you for inconveniences? How zen are you feeling these days? Although Mercury retrograde isn’t a great time to make huge changes, it’s ideal for reflection. A central theme surrounding the first Mercury retrograde of the year, which started on 16 February, is getting lost, as directions are a little more challenging to follow. This retrograde was fuelled by the spirit of Pisces’ traditional planetary ruler, ambitious and expansive Jupiter, so our general direction would’ve been right, and our intuition
spot on, but without Mercury’s typical tact for following instructions, we’d have had no choice but to enjoy the journey. When the planet entered logical Aquarius on 4 March, life got a little easier. Mercury was happy in the intellectual air sign. Aquarius is the humanitarian of the zodiac and turns our communication to look at those around us and in our neighbourhoods. This detached, logical energy helped us keep our emotions in check during the retrograde, which is notorious for turning us into emotional and indecisive messes. Optimisim is advisable during this time: enjoying the extra space Mercury has cleared, taking a moment to read or enjoy a podcast. This winter’s Mercury retrograde moves backwards through Cancer, starting on Sunday 7 July, asking us to reconsider our attitudes and offering the space to organise our thoughts and emotions. While Cancer gets a wholesome reputation, the sign does side-step like a crab and can be indecisive. Use this Mercury retrograde, which ends in Cancer on Sunday 12 July, to get in touch with difficult emotions and make a plan. You don’t have to take action during the retrograde, but be sure to use the time for healthy introspection. When Mercury spins backwards in Scorpio on Tuesday, 13 October, we may become increasingly nostalgic and sentimental. Especially during the last week of Mercury retrograde, allow yourself to revisit old journals and photo albums. How has your life changed over the years? Are you happy with your current direction, or do you need to switch gears? Find inspiration from past lessons and experiences and use this time to strategise about how to best achieve your goals moving forward. Scorpio can be obsessive, so be careful of getting caught in unhealthy thought patterns. Self-awareness will help you turn this time into a fruitful moment of reflection that precedes renewal. The retrograde enters Libra, the sign of relationships, on Tuesday 27 October. Beware of old flames contacting you during Mercury retrograde in Libra, and watch out for becoming the ex who texts in the middle of the night yourself. Yes, Libra craves romantic attention and loves to flirt, but don’t let the retrograde trick you into old unhealthy territory. Communication is a huge part of our daily lives, so when the messenger planet goes reverse, major issues are to be expected. But it’s important to remember that while retrogrades are extremely annoying, they’re not the end of the world. Swift-moving Mercury goes retrograde three or four times per year: you’ve been through it before, and you can get through this retrograde, too. Relax, take deep breaths, and remember that if shit does hit the fan over the next few months, you can always blame Mercury. glamour.co.za
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HOW TO...
Bring sex toys into the bedroom...
Y
ou have your trusty vibrator, the one that always gets the job done when you’re on the self-love train. Have you considered introducing your favourite toy to your partner? For most women, external clitoral stimulation is needed to have an orgasm, and that’s not always a given during sex. Sex toys are designed to bridge the gap between what we get from sex and what we want from sex but aren’t getting. They’re the helping hand you need. (In addition to, you know, your hand.) It seems like they would be the natural addition to your sex life. But it can be hard to introduce sex toys into the bedroom for the first time. You’re not the only one nervous about taking your sex toys across the border from Solotown to the Land of Let’s Get It On. Sex toys are, in many ways, the final bedroom taboo. As a sex educator and coach, I can confirm that people are still intimidated by them, however much we tout the dogma of the sacred vibrator. If you (or your partner) is a little (or a lot) nervous about getting started with sex toys, try these four tips I use with concerned and curious clients. You’ll get there! All it takes is empathy, communication, and a lot of encouragement.
...without it being awkward A sex educator’s four top tips.
LIVE
1
TBH, THIS MIGHT BE A SUPER-AWKWARD THING TO DISCUSS, SO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE AWKWARDNESS.
Real talk: your partner may be really threatened or offended when you bring up using vibrators in the bedroom. There’s some deep-rooted insecurity around sex toys that, while outdated and unfortunate, still exists. It’s like if you want to bring a vibrator into the bedroom, somehow you’re telling your partner they aren’t good enough. Not true! Don’t focus only on yourself and your sexual needs. This could alienate your partner and make them defensive. Make the conversation about both of you. Approach the topic with empathy and be prepared to deal with a contentious reaction. Have an open, honest conversation about why this turns you on. Tell your partner that it’s new, a little kinky, and fun. It’s something for you to try together to expand your sexual repertoire. Remember, vibrators aren’t only good for you and you alone. They offer immense pleasure when applied to the tip of the penis, the perineum and the ball sack. If your partner has a vulva and hasn’t used a vibrator before, sex toys will blow their mind, too!
WORDS BY: Gigi Engle ILLUSTRATION: Gallo Images/Getty Images
2
OFFER TO GO SHOPPING TOGETHER, BUT BE READY TO GO ALONE.
You may have a sprawling collection of sex toys (good for you!) or not, but if your partner is feeling peevish about using a sex toy, it’s best to buy something new. There can be all sorts of loaded feelings about a toy that has been used before, especially with other partners. You want this to be for both of you, something special that you can share. Offer to bring your partner along to the store or to shop online with you. It might relax them to see that there are so many options for sex toys, as well as not-at-all scary places to shop for them. For a fabulous customer experience, visit Olivia Grey, Matilda’s or Adult World’s online stores. Be prepared to get shot down while browsing. It might just be too much. And that’s OK! Looking at sex toys for the first time can be a bit scary. If you are on your own, embrace the experience. Choose something that you and your partner will love. Speaking of which...
“Don’t focus only on yourself and your sexual needs. Make the conversation about both of you”
4
3
DON’T PICK SOME ENORMOUS, PHALLIC MONSTER DILDO.
The last thing you want to bring home to a nervous partner is some scary, veiny, Rabbit vibrator with a million spinning beads and a realistic penis-head. Nope. Nothing says, ‘I’m replacing your dick with this vibrator’ or ‘I need a penis over your vulva to be happy’ like bringing home a vibrator shaped like a larger-than-life penis. Choose something non-threatening to start with. You want to keep it playful and exciting, not terrifying. When in doubt, choose a sex toy that doesn’t even look like a sex toy. The quieter the toy, the better. You want something in a non-fleshy colour that’s more ‘cute’ than explicitly sexual. Explore the Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator range by Happy Rabbit – each one looks like a bunny. What could be scary about that? For those squeamish around sex toys, Lelo has the perfect toys for beginner couples. From rotating vibrators to remote-controlled ones you can wear during penetrative sex, you’ll both be amazed by how easy it is to get you off. You’re welcome in advance.
FOCUS ON PLEASURABLE EXPLORATION.
Got the gear? Great. When you bring the sex toy into bed, keep the play about you and your partner. Verbal encouragement (read: dirty talk) will be your best friend. Tell your partner how good they are making you feel and how turned on you are. You want the toy to be a part of the experience, not the entire focus of it. Be sure to remind your partner how sexy they are and how much you love their penis/vulva/body. If possible, don’t mention the toy. You can guide your partner’s hand to your hot spots, or simply use the toy on yourself. They want to make you feel good. If they see how much you’re enjoying yourself, they’ll probably be open to including sex toys as part of the usual routine.
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Women on top As more women climb the corporate ladder and achieve new milestones in the workplace, society will have to embrace the new normal – women as primary earners. Words by SHANNON MANUEL
W
ithin the past few decades, around the world, there’s been a steady increase in the number of women who’re the primary earners in their families, and who’re financing their partners, in many cases leading to anxiety and tension within relationships. When there’s a considerable difference between your and your partner’s income, the inequality can erode your bond, unless you address it head-on. Unfortunately, we don’t like to acknowledge that money influences our intimate relationships – it’s like a hidden operating system that has the potential to influence everything. This is particularly true within straight relationships as, while we’d like to believe that a woman earning more than her male partner isn’t a big deal these days, it does flip traditional gender dynamics on their head. The idea that men should take the lead in breadwinning and women in caring for children and the home still affects general society today, and a violation of this norm could make some couples uncomfortable with their arrangement. It’s been found that when wives earn more than their husbands both spouses misreport their actual income in surveys. Women
ILLUSTRATION: Jamie Grill/Gallo Images/Getty Images
THINK
under-report their income and men overreport it. While expectations of wives’ homemaking may have eroded, the assumption that men should be the lead financers still has a stronghold on our society. That’s not surprising, because if you look at the past, straight marriages have been characteristically transactional throughout human history. Women often chose or were forced to marry whoever had the best financial prospects, at which point they became the literal property of their husbands. This was, of course, wildly unfair and sexist. It also placed pressure on men to be providers, and largely reduced their social worth to their financial success. There’s an unfortunate cultural trope left over from bygone eras of traditional gender roles: if a woman is successful and ambitious within a relationship, then she must ‘wear the pants’. The fact is that there is room for more than one driven personality within a relationship. But longstanding cultural attitudes die hard, and often even well-meaning and open-minded men can’t help but feel a little bit emasculated by the success of their female partners. One way to help keep these feelings at bay is to remember that they’re partly down to good old-fashioned human insecurity, which is a completely normal impulse. Regardless of your gender, it’s always difficult to remain completely calm and collected when
you feel as though a peer is outstripping you in a personal, economic or social sense. These feelings are going to persist – or even be exacerbated – when the person doing the outstripping is your most intimate partner. Simply recognising that insecurity (and perhaps even jealousy) is rearing its ugly head can help you keep these feelings from burgeoning out of control.
If you’ve taken on the role of lead financer, there’re dilemmas that you may face, such as:
1
Your health may be affected for the worse.
Since the responsibility of earning for your household falls upon you, you may feel intense pressure to work longer hours than necessary. Those with less
WHAT SHOULD COUPLES DO INSTEAD?
of a financial cushion may even
Communicate openly and honestly. It’s time to rethink what it means to contribute to a relationship and the value of it outside finances, redefine success and ‘manliness’, and learn different ways to rely on each other. At the same time, set financial goals together and create a budget that works for both of you. Discuss your views before combing your finances.
second job, leading to fatigue,
feel the need to take up a exhaustion, stress and anxiety.
2
You’ll be expected to pay for everything.
If you’re the sole income earner, this makes sense. However, if your partner has a salary of his or her own, this expectation makes it easy to feel slightly taken advantage of.
WHAT SHOULD YOU NOT DO IF YOUR PARTNER IS JEALOUS OF YOUR SUCCESS? The worst thing you can do to soothe your partner’s jealousy is to make yourself look smaller by refusing further opportunities. This is only a short-term solution and it won’t stop your partner’s jealousy permanently. It’ll only make you feel guilt and remorse for having sabotaged your own career.
3
You might feel like a parent towards your partner.
No one wants to feel like a babysitter to their partner in an adult relationship.
4
You may feel entitled to more control over your
household finances. The question of whether you should or shouldn’t have more control over your household finances is a contentious point. Some people believe that the breadwinner should get
“There’s an unfortunate cultural trope left over from the bygone era of traditional gender roles: if a woman is successful and ambitious within a relationship, then she must ‘wear the pants’”
more say; others disagree and suggest maintaining an equal partnership in spite of who earns what.
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LIVE
PEACE of MIND Regain your focus as you prepare to tackle the second quarter of the year. We’ve rounded up some of the best wellness retreats to help you disconnect from the stresses of everyday life.
The Houghton Hotel
Joburg
The Houghton Hotel Nestled in the heart of an opulent suburb in Joburg, this is where sophistication meets leisure. Relax in style when you book into any of the suites, including executive-king and presidential. Alternatively, settle right into the rock star, luxury penthouse, which has an integrated kitchen, pool and Jacuzzi. To get Fairlawns Boutique Hotel & Spa
the most out of your revitalising experience, head to Amani Spa and Wellness, which promotes holistic health, and choose from
Fairlawns Boutique Hotel & Spa
a selection of treatments from hydro-body
Make a conscious decision to unplug at this urban oasis in Joburg.
to yoga, and from meditation to essential
Choose from a variety of suites, and enjoy luxury and comfort fit for
grooming. If working out is part of your
a queen. The opulent space allows guests to trade the hustle and
self-care routine, then you’ll benefit from
bustle of city life for an invigorating, five-star experience. Enjoy a
FitBar Gym, which offers state-of-the-art
range of therapies and signature Asian-inspired treatments at the
equipment and technology, as well as a
Balinese-style spa, perfectly located in beautiful, bamboo-forest
comprehensive list of services, including a
gardens, bringing you closer to nature. Your body’s in for a treat as this
personal trainer.
unforgettable experience will give you that Zen feeling.
For more information, visit
For more information, visit fairlawns.co.za
thehoughtonhotel.com
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Cape Town Babylonstoren You’ll be spoilt for choice at this gem, which is easily nature’s best-kept secret. Settle in and feel right at home in a sanctuary that caters to your needs, whether you prefer a hotel, garden or fynbos cottage, or a manor house. The breathtaking garden is
Santé Wellness Retreat & Spa
at the heart of the farm, set within
WORDS: Shannon Manuel, Thobeka Phanyeko PHOTOGRAPHY: Chantell Flores, Supplied
three hectares of cultivated fruit and
Santé Wellness Retreat & Spa
vegetables. If you want to know more
Step into this wellness haven and choose from a chic-retreat, spa or
about the garden, you can schedule a
deluxe-retreat suite. The tranquil space has a holistic approach to wellness,
tour with an experienced gardener. The
so immerse yourself in a rejuvenating experience and enjoy a selection of
selection of spa treatments will leave
treatments at the world-class Santé Spa facility. The Santé Health Optimising
you feeling relaxed and rejuvenated, as
Royal Retreat is the first of its kind, and you could be one of the first to
you soak in the best of nature at the
experience its soothing benefits. You’ll also love the fully-equipped fitness
pavilion, which features a chill room
centre, which has high-tech cardio machines, free weights and Pilates
and gym, and is located within a
reformers. The yoga studio, with amazing views of the mountains, is just what
bamboo forest.
your chakras ordered to get into alignment.
For more information, visit
For more information, visit santeretreat.co.za
babylonstoren.com
The Waterfront Hotel & Spa
The Buddhist Retreat Centre
This heritage monument in Durban
Perched on a ridge at the head of a
comes complete with lavish,
valley on the banks of the Umkomazi
modern-day facilities, such as luxury
River, this retreat looks out onto
accommodation, conference venues, a
indigenous valleys, forests and rolling
spa and fine-dining restaurant, offering
hills. For more than twenty years, people
guests a world-class experience.
from all walks of life, religions and
Located a stone’s throw away from
cultures have come here for peace and
Durban’s central business district and
tranquillity. The labyrinth, Zen gardens,
the Golden Mile beaches, the award-
deer park and Buddha Boma invite you
winning spa opens up a world of
in for reflection and contemplation.
relaxation and gives you an excuse to
Follow the pine-scented path to the
leave your day-to-day stresses at the
dam; walk past ancient cycads to the
door and unwind. The Aqua Spa offers
tracks of early Voortrekker wagons;
exquisite massage treatments and
discover an assegai-sharpening stone
pampering therapies in a tranquil and
on a hillside; or point your feet towards
luxurious atmosphere, where you can
the rocky outcrop to ponder the
slip into a blissful state of relaxation.
valley below.
For more information, visit mistyblue.
For more information, visit
co.za/the-waterfront-hotel/
brcixopo.co.za
Durban The Buddhist Retreat Centre
“I like your ‘namaste’ mug – but can you tell me about the ancient history behind it?” Anita Bhagwandas delves into the murky world of cultural appropriation in wellness.
FEEL
I
s your house filled with the soothing scent of incense? Perhaps you dabble in acupuncture or reiki. You might even enjoy the clink of a few crystals in your bra (so their healing properties are closer to your skin, obvs). These are just some of the ways we’re finding moments of calm, away from all of life’s BS. But what if I told you that all of the above are practices that have been appropriated from their origins by the West? And the bigger shocker is that you – somebody who might even describe themselves as woke – could have been culturally appropriating, without even realising it. Even though we’re all aware that appropriating cornrows, feathered headdresses and bindis is objectively wrong, when appropriation veers into the wellness sphere, we just seem to care less. But I, a British-born Indian and Hindu, care a lot. And, honestly, I’m fed up with seeing my culture’s practices appropriated daily. The girl next to me in the coffee shop ordering a turmeric latte; a sacred ‘Om’ symbol on a water bottle; the press releases telling me oil pulling is the new ‘thing’ (thanks for that, I’m well versed in Ayurvedic health practices) – it doesn’t feel like there’s much respect there at all. Perhaps because we’re all thinking deeply about so many global and eco issues, adding self-care to that list doesn’t seem like another cause we can take on. But it does matter, it’s time to start caring about where our wellness practices come from – and what appropriating them means.
MONEY OVER MORALS? I always eye-roll when anyone tells me they, like, love yoga. Because how many of the two billion worldwide actually know that it dates back to around 2 700
BC? And though you don’t have to be Hindu to practice it (yoga came with Hinduism, technically, though both are now linked) having a mind/body/ higher source connection is crucial. Yet, this higher purpose may have been muddied along the way. The global wellness industry is now worth an insane R68 trillion. The Headspace app (started by a former Buddhist monk) has 30 million users, and SoulCycle – where mindfulness meets spin – has been valued at more than R2.6 trillion. The promise of a wellness fortune is proving hard to resist, with people leaving their corporate jobs in droves to train as reiki masters, yoga teachers and healers. But has the true message of these ancient wellness practices become lost? Will Williams, the founder of Beeja Meditation Centre in London, thinks it’s a fine line. “It’s not a bad thing that people are trying to help others and share knowledge, but when money is prioritised over the wellbeing, integrity or history of a practice, there has to be a dedication to that culture.” Ravi Dixit, an Indian yoga teacher, agrees. “You can find yoga training led by teachers who’ve never been to India or don’t really understand the basics, like the Sutras of Patanjali or the Eight Limbs of Yoga. There are online courses to become a yoga teacher in three weeks. It takes years of study to master it all – how is that possible in three weeks?”
THE NEW ELITE Shaman Durek, a spiritual guide and gifted healer, whose devoted fans include Gwyneth Paltrow (more on that later), was very clear about the issue: “Every person in wellness is taking from the culture of indigenous people, whether it’s India, Africa or Indonesia. But the Western world takes
these practices and glorifies them into a narcissistic version. You don’t see the Indian, African, Asian or LatinX person represented at all.” And sadly, most spokespeople fit the ‘wellness white girl’ stereotype, too – we rarely see people who look like Shaman Durek; a loin-clothed Indian yogi; the fifthgeneration Chinese acupuncturist; or a real Buddhist monk, giving us timehonoured advice. Instead, they’re embodied by women such as Gwyneth, founder of lifestyle brand Goop and, more recently, the target of online ire for her claim to have popularised yoga. In a recent interview, she said: “I went to do a yoga class and the 22-year-old girl behind the counter was like, ‘Have you done yoga before?’ and I was like, ‘You have this job because I’ve done yoga before.’” For me, that’s one of the biggest issues with commodifying wellness – who it’s been taken from, and who it’s being marketed to. Looking at the way yoga, in particular, is packaged and sold, you’d easily think it was primarily for Caucasian, able-bodied, thin, rich women able to do headstands in designer Lycra – the exact opposite of the ‘oneness’ true yoga seeks to bring. While yoga doesn’t belong to Gwyneth, wellness is becoming elitist because of the people it shuts out. Shaman says: “it’s made to seem like wellness comes from the upper classes and that you have to be rich to live this lifestyle, but you don’t – if you look at ancient yogic traditions or the West African shamanism that I practise. It doesn’t come from wealth. But now it’s become based on whether you’re rich enough to be part of this club.”
WELLNESS HIJACKERS There’s also a little-known historical element here that really É
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FEEL from if you’re turning it into a gimmick to make money.” Ravi tells me: “When I first moved to the UK, I was shocked to see a Ganesha statue by the door of the studio, where people put their shoes, and a Buddha statue in the toilet. In our culture, that’s considered very disrespectful.”
2, 4, 6, 8. DO WE CULTURALLY APPROPRIATE? So, the burning question: is there a way to appropriate another culture’s wellness practice, without appropriating it? I’d argue that, if you’re not going to do it authentically and with respect for the culture by researching it, you don’t deserve to be doing it at all. I’m happy for a non-Indian person to use Sanskrit in yoga, as long as they know what it means, pronounce it properly and believe it. But, for me, the bottom line is: if you can’t just accept and embrace another spiritual practice without having to embellish or alter it, you need to consider taking up something that’s more functional, such as Pilates (created by a German in the ’20s, FYI) instead. People are wary of going into a yoga studio for a number of reasons or preconceptions, and we want to break that down because we believe yoga is for everyone.” I’m not saying that being ‘wellness woke’ is easy – it involves research to have your eyes fully open. And, perhaps controversially, I encourage continuing with the things you love, but led by people who are from those cultures, where possible. Shaman Durek argues:
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“If you’re not from that culture, you’re never going to have the generations of ancestral energy from centuries of lineage that’s tied to that bloodline – and it’s powerful, you can feel it.” So, the next time you go to a health retreat or class that uses another culture’s practices, ask if they give back to those countries. If you’re thinking about doing a traditional Chinese medicine course, how are you going to pay homage to its heritage culturally – and financially, as you’ll be taking business from temporary medical care practitioners in the area? When you go to a class, look around – is everyone white, what are they promoting and to whom? When people from different cultural backgrounds are excluded, it’s a sign that something is probably off. If you’ve circled back to thinking, ‘I just want to do my fricking yoga in peace,’ think of this research as an extra dose of good karma with your turmeric latte. All it takes is a quick Google and a couple of questions to honour an ancient cultural wellness practice without appropriating it. Don’t be that basic wellness bitch – you should care.
PHOTOGRAPHY: Kenrick Mills/Unsplash.com, Mark Zamora/Unsplash.com, Gallo Images/Getty Images
matters and needs to be talked about. In the US, Sephora was called out for selling a Witch Kit with spells and ‘cleansing’ sage, which appropriated both Wiccan and Native American Indian cultures for profit. White sage is a sacred (and now in decline) plant used in indigenous medical and spiritual practices, but at points in history, indigenous people were even banned from these practices themselves. Similarly, the British attempted to wipe out Ayuverda in India during colonial rule. “Officers would chop off three fingers on Ayurvedic doctors, so they couldn’t do pulse diagnoses and, after the British left India, Ayurveda was nearly wiped out,” claims Will. That history looms so closely for anyone of Indian origin – and it’s why it feels so deeply offensive to me to have anything Indian appropriated in other countries. This colonisation of wellness also extends to the removal of anything secular or ‘offensive’ to the Western sensibility. “I know an Indian yoga teacher who teaches at a studio where they’re not allowed to use Sanskrit or chant ‘Om’ in their classes,” says Ravi. “If you’re a studio owner and you feel like this about yoga, you should just call it an exercise class and run a fitness studio instead.” Shaman Durek agrees, railing specifically against what he describes as ‘hybrid wellness’ and the rise in these so-called practices: “You can’t mix traditions as you wish. Shamanism is its own thing. It’s not shamanic reiki, shamanic meditation or shamanic dog walking. You’re not observing the devotion of where that practice comes
LIVE
Hey, it’s OK… … To always prioritise your mental health. … To lose your composure sometimes. Life can get a bit overwhelming. … To cut off people who disturb your peace. … To be single even though everyone you know is loved up. … To take a social media detox and focus on you.
… To change your mind. … Not to have it all figured out by a certain age.
... To say no if you don’t feel up to something. ... To splurge on a good book.
… To miss home because it’s the only place where things make sense. … To stay in your PJs on Saturday, eat a whole pizza to yourself and binge-watch your favourite series.
... To drive with no destination in mind if it heals your soul.
… To travel alone and explore the world on your terms.
… To wing it sometimes. There’s no manual for life anyway!
... If your definition of self-care is doing absolutely nothing for the day. 98 glamour.co.za
WORDS BY: Thobeka Phanyeko PHOTOGRAPHY: Supplied
… To unplug from the world so you can hear your voice.
E L E VAT I N G T H E C O N V E R S AT I O N
PRODUCTION, CREATIVE DIRECTION & WARDROBE: Jason Alexander Basson STYLING: the creatives in collaboration with Jason Alexander Basson STYLE ASSISTANT: Palesa Matlebyane (@palesa_thestylist) PHOTOGRAPHY: Aart Verrips at Red Hot Ops PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT: Thato Mabaso HAIR & MAKEUP: Lesley Whitby at Lampost MODELS: Zulaikha Patel LOCATION: African Penthouses. Zulaikha wears; head-to-toe custom Levi’s at Haus of Strauss POR; earrings (Stylist’s oOwn)
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Attachment theory is one of the best ways to understand your relationships. Established by Psychoanalyst John Bowlby in the ’50s, its key idea is that your attachment style is determined by the early bonds you form as a baby and young child with your caregivers. Once they’re transferred from your caretaker to you, they become a blueprint for your future relationships. The theory explains why people don’t always respond in the same way to emotional intimacy, conflict, communication, needs, emotions and expectations in relationships – both their own and their partner’s. The way people approach intimate relationships, marriage and parenting can vary. The number of ways in which this theory can be applied or used to explain behaviour is magnified by the fact that relationships take two (or more) people; any attachment behaviours that you display will impact and be influenced by the attachment behaviours of other people. Given the many different types of behaviour, it isn’t surprising conflict and confusion exists in relationships. These four behavioural styles could explain why you fall into certain patterns in your relationships.
1
SECURE
If this is you, you’re generally more likely to see others as supportive and helpful, and yourself as competent and worthy of respect. You relate positively to others, are resilient, and are more successful in the workplace and your interactions with your colleagues. You’re also better at considering things from another person’s point of view and tend to trust others. You’re more likely to be satisfied with your relationships, and feel secure and connected to your partner without needing to be with them all the time. You’re honest, supportive, independent and share a deep emotional connection with your partner.
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2
AVOIDANT
Do you find it hard to manage stressful situations? Perhaps you’re withdrawn or resistant to seeking help? Both of which can inhibit you from forming satisfying relationships with others. You show more aggression and antisocial behaviours, such as lying and bullying, and you tend to distance yourself from others to reduce emotional stress. You may feel that you don’t need to connect with other people to survive or thrive, and insist on being independent of others. You shut down emotionally when a potentially hurtful scenario arises, such as a serious argument with your partner or a threat to the continuance of your relationship.
3
ANXIOUS OR INSECURE
You’re on the opposite end of the spectrum to those who’re anxious-avoidant. When you were a child, you probably lacked self-confidence and stayed close to your primary caregivers. You may display exaggerated emotional reactions and keep your distance from your peers, leading to social isolation. Having formed a less-than-secure bond with your partner, you may feel desperate for love or affection, and that your partner must complete you and fix your problems. While you long for safety and security in your romantic relationships, you may also be acting in ways that push your partner away rather than invite them in. This can manifest as clinginess, jealousy and getting upset about trivial issues.
4
DISORGANISED
If this is your attachment style, you tend to avoid your feelings in case they overwhelm you. Your moods may be unpredictable or abrupt, and you may fear being hurt by your romantic partner. You’re drawn to a potential partner, but you’re also afraid of getting too close. It’s no surprise that this makes it difficult for you to form and maintain meaningful and healthy relationships with others because you come off as ambivalent. É
JOINED
at the
HIP
Do you often find yourself at loggerheads with your partner or repeating similar patterns of behaviour with close friends or family members? It could be because of your attachment style. Words by SHANNON MANUEL
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BEHAVIOUR, NOT PERSONALITY These styles are on a continuum of attachment behaviours, which means they don’t define a specific type of person. If your attachment style is usually secure, you may, on occasion, display behaviours more suited to other peoples’, but if it’s avoidant, you may cling to a particular person. With this in mind, attachment styles are a way to understand your behaviour, as opposed to describing your exact personality.
“If your attachment style in your romantic relationships isn’t secure, rest assured that things can change”
Once you understand these behaviour patterns, it should be obvious which style is yours. Think about how you respond when your partner goes away on a work trip. Do you become clingy or hostile towards them? Or are you relieved when they return, so you can get on with your life? It’s helpful to think about your behavioural patterns in more than one relationship – with a parent, romantic partner or close friend. The first step toward overcoming your attachment issues is becoming aware of them. All of us should aim to be as secure in our relationships as possible. If you fall into one of the non-secure attachment styles, it can lead you into a negative cycle. For example, if you grow up believing that people are going to leave you, you behave in ways that push people away. If you don’t understand why this is, you automatically think it’s your fault, when it’s really the cycle in operation that’s to blame. Once you understand the theory and reasoning behind the way you’re feeling, you can take steps to heal.
The best way to get there? Enter into a relationship with someone who’s already secure. Think of it as like having a built-in relationship coach. If your style is anxious, but your partner’s is secure, and they offer you lots of love and reassurance, you’re less likely to be preoccupied with where you stand in your relationship. If your style is avoidant but your partner’s is secure and they give you space and independence, you probably won’t feel the need to push them away. And know that none of the relationships in your life, be it with your mom, dad, varsity boyfriend or most recent girlfriend, is the sole influence on your present attachment style. Other people (besides your caregivers) can influence you. We’re all malleable, highly sociable creatures. If you experience something contrary to your beliefs for long enough, you’ll change.
NOT SECURE? THAT’S NOT YOUR FAULT CHANGE IS POSSIBLE If your attachment style in your romantic relationships isn’t secure, but you’d like it to be, rest assured that things can change. Attachment styles aren’t static, which means they can change as you get older. Plus, you can exhibit different iterations of your attachment style within different relationships. People can have varying degrees of attachment styles at any one time, and these can appear in contrasting ways depending on who they’re talking to.
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The attachment style you learned or developed in childhood, and throughout your experiences growing up, was the best way to cope or manage with your circumstances at the time. If you align with an attachment style associated with insecurity, it’s not because you did something wrong. It’s merely the one your caregiver passed on to you. As humans, we have built-in survival instincts. You formed your attachment style as your best means of self-protection. It’s how you balanced out the insecure caregiving provided to you. Now you can begin your journey of self-compassion, healing, and moving towards a more secure attachment style – which will ultimately lead to healthier, more rewarding relationships.
PHOTOGRAPHY: Laree Barney/EyeEm/Gallo Images/ Getty Images
IDENTIFY AND OVERCOME
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ARE YOU AT RISK? Pregnant women have higher requirements for iron, and therefore have a higher risk of developing iron deficiency. Iron-deficient mothers are more likely to have premature births or babies with low birth weight. Infants born to iron-deficient mothers are at greater risk of developing ID or IDA later in life, and this may have a negative effect, in the long term, on brain development and behaviour.
HOW ID/IDA AFFECTS YOUR CHILD: s Impaired immune function s Growth retardation s Impaired cognitive development s Poorer motor function s Lower socio-emotional development s Impaired school performance s Decreased energy and physical endurance s Increased childhood morbidity When these impairments occur at an early age, they may be irreversible. Young children and adolescents (aged 0-15 years) experience rapid growth that can consume iron stores which, in turn, leads to an absolute deficiency. Poor dietary and health factors can also increase the risk of ID/IDA in all paediatric populations.
TREATING IRON DEFICIENCY: Suitable treatment methods can be discussed once a doctor has tested and confirmed whether you’re iron deficient. Options include adjusting your diet to include more iron-rich foods or taking an appropriate iron treatment such as Ferrimed. ID and IDA occur in stages, so your doctor will have to examine you for both iron deficiency and anaemia.
THE BENEFITS OF FERRIMED: Ferrimed has been clinically proven to be effective in correcting iron levels, with less gastrointestinal side effects than other iron supplements that contain ferrous salts. The most common side effects are nausea, constipation, vomiting and diarrhoea. Ferrimed is absorbed by the body in a controlled manner, can be taken with or without food and doesn’t interact with other commonly used medications. For more info, visit ferrimed.co.za.
S1 Ferrimed® Capsules / H840 (Act 101 of 1965) / Each capsule contains 50 mg elemental iron as iron (III)-hydroxide polymaltose complex and 150 μg folic acid. S1 Ferrimed® D.S. Chewable Tablets / L/8.3/201 / Each tablet contains 100 mg elemental iron as iron (III)-hydroxide polymaltose complex. S1 Ferrimed® Syrup / H842 (Act 101 of 1965) / Each 5 ml contains 50 mg elemental iron as iron (III)-hydroxide polymaltose complex. References available on request.
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Ziyaad Bassier “My dream job turned into a nightmare”
The number of millennials who’re prioritising their mental health over a paycheck is on the rise. Here, five readers share how they resigned without a plan B.
After years in the magazine industry, working my way up from a shy intern to an art director, I finally landed the job of my dreams at a leading fashion publication. After I received the confirmation from Dubai (which is where the magazine is based), I felt nervous and excited. Within a month, I had quit my job, packed up my flat and had many a farewell party before I set off on my new adventure to the Middle East. Once I arrived, the excitement soon turned to dread. ‘Crap!’ I thought. ‘Have I just made the biggest mistake of my career and my life?’ After only a few weeks at my new job, and in a new home, it hit me that this wasn’t where I belonged. The office culture played out like scenes from The Devil Wears Prada. The editor at this fashion magazine literally quoted Miranda Priestly numerous times, creating an environment that thrived on insecurity and intimidation. To keep myself sane, I got on with my work, even though it felt like my soul was being crushed. There would be days when I wouldn’t speak to a single person! Being alone in a foreign city came with its own set of challenges, the stress of the job aside. Again, there would be days when I didn’t speak to anyone else, and at the weekend I would hole up in my empty flat with a takeaway (I also gained close to 20kg during that year) and Netflix, attempting to recover from the workweek. After six months, I still didn’t feel settled – Dubai felt like another planet compared to Cape Town. The people weren’t welcoming, and the weather during summer was unbearable. As the end of my first year drew near, I decided to leave the dream job I’d always wanted and head back home. I had no job, plan or money, but it was the easiest and best choice I ever made. It wasn’t easy coming back and having to explain my decision to other people. Most of them wondered if I was crazy to walk away from such a life-changing experience. But I would rather face their questions and confusion than force myself to stay in an environment that didn’t serve me. Fast forward to two years later, and I’ve found a job outside of the magazine world that I enjoy – and a new flat. (I’m even 8kg lighter.) I look back on my year in Dubai with pride because I know it hasn’t defeated me. I was tested, but I survived. É
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Nobuhle Mokitlane “I decided to focus on motherhood, even though I had no plan B”
Nonku Hlophe “The day I left my job, I was offered a new one” For me, the year 2017 started rocky. Mentally, I couldn’t take my job anymore and wanted to leave, but I’d been deliberating over it for a year, holding on because, you know, a girl’s got bills to pay. So, I stuck it out for as long as I could. But my mind was cluttered because I was so unhappy, which affected my wellbeing. I was always at the office, and it was obvious something was wrong. I’m also not good at hiding things – how I look mirrors how I feel. I was constantly battling with my small team of four, who were always gossiping about me, treating me unfairly and offering me no guidance when it came to managing my workload. I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes. It was a junior position, and I was eager and willing to learn, only my enthusiasm wasn’t reciprocated. Finally, at the end of February, I decided to resign – with immediate effect and without a plan B. I must mention that before this, I’d been going to interviews, but at the time I resigned I hadn’t received an offer yet. I realise I took a big risk – it meant having to dip into my savings until I found something new. It wasn’t the ideal situation, but my mental well-being was on the line. By God’s grace, I received a call that same day, from a company that offered me a new job. My advice is that leaving a job is never an easy decision when you have bills to pay and a family to take care of, but you learn from it. It made me realise how seriously I take my mental health. I knew I had bills to pay, but I was willing to sacrifice my savings to get me through. Every decision you make should involve putting yourself first. Mental health is important, because if it declines, it affects your well-being and who you are as a person. Take it seriously. If you feel you can wait it out until you find something new, do it, but don’t comprise your wellness.
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In 2013, I decided to resign from a highpressured job because I wasn’t coping. The decision was cemented in my mind shortly after I gave birth prematurely. I had to dedicate a great deal of time to driving from home to the neonatal intensive care unit for feeds and cuddles, and this was my reality for about three months. Working long hours wasn’t feasible because my baby needed lots of attention. I left my job to focus on motherhood, even though I didn’t have a backup plan. I did the odd freelancing job, but the bulk of my support came from my husband and family. As a mom, my priorities have changed. My job has to fit in with my baby’s schedule. It’s been six years, and I’m currently freelancing. Looking back, I have no regrets. I gave birth to my second child earlier this year, having experienced an easy pregnancy.
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K-Ci Henry “I said no to being underestimated” Fresh out of high school, I was working for a company that I occasionally miss but could never go back to. I’m friendly, talkative and make friends with almost everyone I work with. I became friends with a guy from another department, and we would spend our lunch breaks together, which sparked rumours. I didn’t take kindly to this, especially because it was coming from the managers. Aren’t managers supposed to be mature? The more we went for lunch together, the more they teased, to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I snapped so badly at one of the managers that she took an instant dislike to me. All of a sudden, my hours were cut, which was strange because I was the only permanent employee in the department, and everyone else was new. My salary was cut, but I was still doing all the work when I returned to the office. To top it off, the managers continued to gossip about our lunch dates. I requested a meeting with the store manager after one of my colleagues had overheard her discussing me. I couldn’t make sense of her issue with me. In the meeting, I asked her what she’d said about me, but she only denied it, which made me extremely mad. I snapped back first. I might be friendly, understanding, and I was new to the business world, but I didn’t appreciate being underestimated. In the end, she came clean about what she’d said. But it didn’t end there. She was screaming at me. I was like, “No! I won’t put up this!” I resigned, with immediate effect. I was jobless, but knowing that I still had the rest of my life ahead of me was comforting. I was proud of myself for not allowing her to undermine me.
“I was jobless, but knowing that I still had the rest of my life ahead of me was comforting”
PHOTOGRAPHY: Supplied by Participants
Farrell Johnson “Freedom isn’t free” A day in my life as a creative project manager: nine to five, Monday to Friday, a daily meal voucher on the company, pop music playing in the background, deadlines, WiFi and decent coffee. Yet, I want out. Honestly, I have to drag myself here. Why am I so unhappy? Despite my stellar reputation, I can’t resist the urge to jump ship. In five years, I’ve seen just under 200 employees leave this place, which is the equivalent of three agencies worth of staff. Many of them are young, ambitious creatives. I’m envious and troubled. Opportunities seem so accessible to other people. When will it be my turn? I’m so tired. “Tired of what?” you may be asking. Tired of suffocation, hypocrisy, lack of leadership and accountability, racial inequality and prejudice. I’m tired of not having a voice. I can’t help but wonder whether it’s because of the texture of my hair or the curves to my silhouette. Yes, I see colour and I love its diversity and authenticity. Yet no one knows any of this about me, and frankly, no one seems to care much for the underdog. I feel drained and, sadly, my daughter and husband bear the brunt of it. Two months after I draft my resignation, HR requests that I stay on and freelance. It turns out I’m hard to replace. I’m happier. But freedom isn’t free. I put the extra money towards an exciting new side hustle.
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TRENDING
The RISE of
HYBRID JOBS These days, employers are no longer satisfied with hiring workers who’re only good at one thing. Words by SHANNON MANUEL
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ore and more companies are looking for professionals who have specialised skills in more than one area to fill so-called hybrid jobs. Some of these jobs are new, some are new versions of existing ones, but all of them pose different challenges for workers, students, employers and educators. The advantage of hiring a hybrid workforce is that they can adapt to new work environments; however, business and HR leaders are facing some important questions concerning the impact that a hybrid workforce will have on workplace culture and collaboration, and diversity and inclusion. The organisations that will thrive will be those that identify, recruit and retain the skills they need to compete, and develop learning cultures that ensure their teams have the agility and speed to adapt.
PHOTOGRAPHY: Carl David Jones
WHAT’S THE DRIVING FORCE BEHIND HYBRID JOBS? More than any other factor, advances in technology – from the increasing reliance by companies on big data to the emergence of the internet of things – are helping fuel the demand for hybrid jobs. As business and technology become increasingly intertwined, there’ll be a need for professionals in almost any type of job to apply technology in ways that create new value and insights for businesses. The real drivers of hybridisation are certain ‘disruptive’ skills that can be applied across multiple fields. Coding is a good example: graphic designers are increasingly required to create content in HTML code. Marketers and salespeople need basic SQL skills to
“A strong desire to learn and willingness to embrace change are traits that will serve you well when expanding your skill set”
operate databases. Entire new categories of jobs are being created, such as UI/UX designers, who work on creating technological interfaces that people can effectively use. Disruptive skills aren’t necessarily new ones, and while technical skills are needed for previously non-technical jobs, there has also been an increase in the demand for business skills in jobs that were once purely technical. Management skills, in particular, are becoming crucial in the informationtechnology field. The biggest challenge the hybrid job economy poses, for employers, workers and educators alike, is that few of these roles are actually entry-level positions. By their nature, these jobs tend to be more specialised, and more likely to ask for higher-order thinking. On the positive side, the gap between a hybrid and non-hybrid job may only be a few training sessions, and a new skill or two, away.
HOW DO YOU GET A HYBRID JOB? As hybrid jobs emerge, businesses often turn to current employees first to fill these positions. A strong desire to learn and willingness to embrace change are traits that will serve you well when looking to expand your skillset. The internet has also made it easy to learn new skills for the workplace – online courses can help without you having to take a major career detour.
Another way to build skills for hybrid jobs (especially if you’re an experienced professional with in-demand expertise) is through project and consulting work. Exposure to new projects at different companies pushes you to grow. Even if your current position doesn’t call for a combined set of skills, chances are that it will in the future. Embracing the idea of becoming a multifaceted specialist early on in your career, and committing to continually improving your abilities, can help you succeed in the world of hybrid jobs.
ARE COMPANIES RESKILLING OR UPSKILLING? Currently, most learning and development programmes within companies follow vertical structures. This means that employees from a specific discipline are only provided access to programmes for that specific field. To prepare the workforce for hybrid jobs, companies will have to relook at, and make drastic changes to, their existing offering. While it’s difficult to predict the exact combination of skills necessary to fill all jobs in the future, creating a culture of learning – one in which workers view learning as part of their personal and professional growth – will be critical for companies who want to adapt their workforce’s skills to the dynamic changes emerging technologies bring to the working world.
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Are you ready for the
4IR?
Are you still trying to wrap your head around the Fourth Industrial Revolution (4IR) and the idea of technology disrupting the workplace? Executive life coach Jason Bernic offers some perspective. Words by THOBEKA PHANYEKO
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f you’re feeling anxious about navigating life in the digital era, executive life coach Jason Bernic reassures this is an exciting time. “Just think about all it has offered us in the last 20 years,” he says. “Cell phones, flat-screen TVs, high-speed internet and online shopping, to name but a few. It can’t be avoided – we’re in it – so we need to keep up with it.” Jason suggests replacing worry, which is toxic, with concern. “It’s less about sitting around, waiting for the world to swallow you up, and more about doing what you need to do to ensure your future is secure, at the same time having fun,” he continues. And if you find you spend a lot of time on social media while you’re sitting at your desk worrying about becoming obsolete, consider reshuffling your priorities so you can focus on remaining relevant instead. Here, Jason shares nuggets to help you feel less anxious and more excited about the 4IR.
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OVERCOME FEAR BY BEING PROACTIVE The 4IR isn’t going to take us by surprise – it’s already happening. It’s neither too early nor too late to take action, but you need to do something. In almost all cases, that doesn’t mean studying a doctorate part-time while working two jobs and providing for a family, but your survival in the digital age does depend on how hard you’re willing to work to be considered valuable. Adaptation is a loose, subjective word, applicable to different people, in different ways, in different industries. One person may have to learn a new skill; another may have to start showing up on time (for advice, see the expert tips below).
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET You can either choose to survive or flourish. Your attitude, goals and determination will get you a lot further than the digital age will hold you back. Prepare yourself mentally by having a vision of the role you
want to play in this changing world. Who do you want to be? What do you want to do? Set some goals and go for them! Build a support network, which can include your managers, mentors, elders, family, friends and even a life coach.
TAKE PRACTICAL STEPS TO FUTURE-PROOF YOURSELF Firstly, work with what you have. Be the best damn person doing your job. Be friendly, helpful, committed, determined, and then do more than you’re asked. It’s less about working longer hours and more about making a valuable contribution. If you can get this right, you’ll increase your chances of being promoted, receiving a salary increase or being put on a leadership or training course.
IF YOU’RE CONSIDERING TAKING ANY OF THE STEPS BELOW, JASON OFFERS HIS INSIGHTS Upskilling Have a conversation with your employer. No one knows better than the person who hired you what you need to do to gain a promotion. It’s generally a combination of skills, experience and attitude. Pursuing a new career You must accumulate enough money to sustain your lifestyle for at least 12 months, and even then,
For more info, read The Fourth Industrial Revolution by Klaus Schwab (R328, Exclusive Books)
expect to live a simpler life. The whole notion of competing with graduates propaganda. It’s a defensive mindset that holds people
“Prepare yourself mentally by having a vision of the role you want to play in this changing world”
back instead of looking for something that excites them and going for it. Yes, there’s a digital gap and, yes, some people have degrees and others don’t, but there are thousands of success stories about people who’ve achieved the impossible. Who
1 Be the best at what you currently do.
are you? What do you want?
2 Do more than you need to.
EXPERT TIPS
PHOTOGRAPHY: Caleb Gregory/Unsplash.com, Gallo Images/Getty Images
who’re digitally savvy is
3 Smile, be friendly, network and make friends.
Entrepreneurship
4 Keep up with technology. You should, at least, have a
Entrepreneurs are, by nature,
basic understanding of it all. 5 Learn new skills. Massachusetts Institute of Technology
risk-takers – they didn’t study it, or aim to have it on
(MIT) offers advanced, free online courses on anything
their business cards; it’s in
and everything you ever wanted to know – note that
their blood.
you only receive a certificate if you pay for it.
THINK
Harvest Café & Deli
Durban
102 Wale Street, Schotsche Kloof
Old Town Italy
021 422 1199
39 Meridian Drive, Umhlanga
Delicious, light meals served at
031 566 5008
this adorable café include oyster-
This buzzing restaurant serves
mushroom ragout, with coconut,
unbeatable pizzas – we had
Joburg
garlic, poached eggs, lemon zest, fresh
prosciutto e rucola (R135). It’s worth
Jackson’s Real Food Market
chilli and toasted sourdough (R82),
visiting the market opposite the
300 Bryanston Drive, Riverside
and a harissa chicken wrap, with
restaurant, which sells traditional
Junction, Bryanston
beetroot hummus, avo, rocket
Italian produce and treats.
011 463 1598
and halloumi (R78).
Jackson’s Real Food Market
Jack Salmon Fish House
to learn about, and taste, the cleanest,
Mykonos Taverna
Shop 15, Glenore Centre, 1 Aubrey
most natural food South Africa has
343 Main Road, Sea Point
Drive, Glen Ashley, Durban
to offer. A highlight on the Jackson’s
021 439 2106
031 572 3664
Eatery menu is the Grass-fed Grazer:
This pick-up-and-go spot’s signature
With a name like Jack Salmon, you’d
a beef patty topped with salad,
dish is slow-roasted lamb shank in
expect decent seafood from this
cheddar cheese and a dash of mayo.
lemon sauce (R190). And you can’t go
restaurant. That’s what you get: wafts
Greek without ordering baklava (R55)!
of garlic, lemon and butter, and a
Fusionista Spa and Restaurant
view of the Indian Ocean. The salmon
14 Rabie Street, Randburg
Raw and Roxy
Waikiki poke bowl (R99) is fresh and
011 793 4796
38 Hout Street, Cape Town
well-balanced. There’s also a generous
Do you love to savour eastern
079 599 6277
portion of tiger prawns on the menu;
delicacies prepared with a slight
This restaurant offers vegan and
butterflied, grilled to perfection and
fusion twist? At this exotic restaurant,
vegetarian food at its best. The
topped with Napoli chilli sauce (R199).
we recommend sashimi salad, made with salmon, avo, wasabi, ginger,
Rocket Fuel smoothie contains over 200 different superfoods (R55).
The Grill Room
Japanese mayo and sushi rice
Order ‘Lasagne’ from the Raw menu:
The Oyster Box Hotel, 2 Lighthouse
(R172.95), and mini chocolate-mousse
courgette layered with raw cashew-
Road, Umhlanga Rocks, Durban
cake, with chocolate sauce and mixed
nut cheese, green pesto and tomato
031 514 5000
berries (R64.95).
relish (R90).
This fine-dining restaurant, at
Cape Town Raw and Roxy
the stunning Oyster Box Hotel, is
Quills Restaurant
renowned for its impeccable class
OR Tambo International Airport, OR
and exquisite cuisine. Its beautiful
Tambo Airport Road, Kempton Park
décor and refined finishes ooze
011 961 5400
sophistication and style, which makes
Our favourites from Chef Yoshan
it an immaculate space to enjoy a
Naidu’s menu are pea-infused risotto,
meal. Share these two starters with a
with pickled green tomatoes, mint
partner: cipollini and parsley prawns
gremolata and goat’s cheese (R150),
(R220) and butter-poached crayfish
and mango and coconut panna
(R250). And for your main course, a
cotta, with pistachio praline and
dyad of lamb (R290) and lemongrass
fresh mango salsa (R120). The wine
kingklip (R290) prepared to perfection.
selection is exceptional.
WORDS BY: Jessamy Vosper, Lesley Mathys, Siya Galela PHOTOGRAPHY: Ruth du Toit, David Harrison
This is a haven for foodies who want
THINK
Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano (Dial Press; R529) The main character, 12-year-old Edward Adler, is the sole survivor of a cross-country plane crash that took the lives of 191 people, including his parents and older brother. He finds himself a folk hero, left to make sense of a trove of letters from strangers
life-affirming tale, the downright
The New Black Vanguard: Photography Between Art and Fashion by Tyler Mitchell (R977)
unbearable blossoms into
‘Curator and critic, Antwaun Sargent,
a testament to the power of love
takes us on a journey, celebrating
and grace.
photographers like Tyler Mitchell, who
affected by the tragedy and contend with his coming of age. In this
was the first African-American photographer to have his image (of Beyoncé) featured on the cover of Vogue. It shines a light on the fashion and art industry, which tends to shun
American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins (Flatiron Books; R548)
black artists. The coffee-table book
Jeanine Cummins’ heart-aching novel
of Campbell Addy, Micaiah Carter and
follows a mother and her son as they
Quil Lemons. Its message is clear:
flee the violent Mexican city of
black creatives will feature in
Acapulco – once a glamourous
mainstream art and fashion in the
destination whose golden beaches
future.’ – Lauren Mechling
also features photographs by the likes
TEXT: Lauren Mechling PHOTOGRAPHY: Courtesy of Google
attracted the ’60s jet-set, it’s now a cesspool of chaos and gang warfare. Having survived the massacre of their entire family, Lydia, the widow of an investigative journalist, and Luca, her
Uncanny Valley by Anna Wiener
bookish and obedient eight-year-old
(MCD; R529)
son, must engineer their
If we must live in a surveillance state, it
disappearance in a surveillance state.
might as well be under the attentive
Running on instinct and adrenaline,
eye of Anna Wiener, whose memoir is
the newly minted refugees head for
equal parts enchanting and subversive.
the American border, hiding from
The New York native graduated into a
corrupt authorities and vicious
recession and found a job at a literary
henchmen on the floors of missionary
agency that paid mostly in prestige.
vans and roofs of moving freight
Seduced by tech’s lucre and ostensible
trains. A novel as of the zeitgeist as
utopianism, Wiener moved west, where
any, it’s also an account of love on the
life proved eerily comfortable for a
run that will never lose steam.
hard-driving millennial.
glamour.co.za 115
THINK
CULINARY
METHOD
Borscht
> Fry beetroot in a pot with olive oil, until the oil changes colour. > Add vegetable stock and water. > In a pan, fry chopped onions, leeks, celery, mushrooms, tomatoes and carrots, until golden brown. Stir in tomato sauce. > Add potatoes to beetroot mixture. Then, add golden vegetables to the pot. > Simmer for 25 minutes. > Blend in a food processor, pass though a chinoix and add beetroot juice, until desired colour. > Season as desired, and finish off with Fynbos vinegar.
CHEESECAKE Serves 1
JOURNEY Travel the world through taste and scent, from Ukraine to Namibia, with Gåte at Quoin Rock’s head chef Nicole Loubser.
INGREDIENTS r
H DSFBN DIFFTF
r
H TVHBS
r
NM NJML
r
H DSÍNF GSBÏDIF
r
FHHT
r
FHH ZPMLT
METHOD > Cream cream cheese, crème fraîche, sugar and milk together in a
BORSCHT
r
Serves 1
$VQT WFHFUBCMF
r
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mixing bowl..
TUPDL BOE $VQT
r
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> Once smooth, add eggs
TBDIFU UPNBUP QBTUF
and yolks, then blend.
XBUFS INGREDIENTS
r
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r
POJPO
> Pour into half-moon
r
CFFUSPPUT QFFMFE
r
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r
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moulds and bake at
r
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100ºC for 55 minutes.
116 glamour.co.za
MANGO GEL
r
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Serves 1
r
NM HMVDPTF
r
NM GSFF[F ESJFE
INGREDIENTS
SBTQCFSSJFT
H NBOHP QVSÊF
r
H TVHBS TZSVQ
METHOD
r
H BHBS
> Dissolve isomalt in water, until it forms a ball.
@nicoleloubser
r
METHOD
> Place on a sheet of
> Heat mango purée, then
baking paper, spread
ABOUT HEAD CHEF NICOLE LOUBSER
stir in sugar syrup.
thinly, and add another
Nicole Loubser delineates the brilliance of top-level
> Once sugar has
sheet on top..
dining at GÃ¥te at Quoin Rock. She honed her artistry
dissolved, bring mixture to
> Whisk egg whites in a
at Jan Hendrik’s restaurant in Nice and at Ikarus in
the boil and add agar.
metal bowl over a pot of
Salzburg, both of which are Michelin-starred. Using local
> Boil, about two minutes.
hot water on a stovetop.
ingredients, she focusses on molecular gastronomy, but
> Add sugar slowly.
also on fine dining, which plays on diners’ senses.
RASPBERRY FLUFF, CANDY FLOSS AND ISOMALT CHARDS
> Add glucose.
add crushed, freeze-
INGREDIENTS
METHOD
Serves 1
dried raspberries.
r
LH CMVFCFSSZ QVSÊF
> Heat water to 45ºC.
r
MJUSFT XBUFS
> Add sugar, dextrose and
r
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stabiliser. Heat to 85ºC.
r
H EFYUSPTF
> Add rest of ingredients.
r
H TUBCJMTFS
> Let stand for 24 hours,
r
NM MJRVPSJDF
then freeze.
> Heat pot to 51ºC. > Whisk, then
r
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r
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BLUEBERRY AND LIQUORICE SORBET
r
H FHH XIJUFT
Serves 1
INGREDIENTS
PHOTOGRAPHY: Supplied by Quoin Rock
Raspberry Fluff, Candy Floss and Isomalt Chards
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119
THINK Julia Mahapa My mother, my first home. She’s love personified and keeps me grounded. I get my wit from her – she’s so funny and dramatic. She’s poured so much love and patience into me and taught me how to be kind by example. She’s the woman I aspire to be.
1
The artist of my life. I’m in awe of her resilience and excellence during a time of such oppression. Her sound shaped how I approach my creativity, and at the same time, it gives me hope. It’s the soundtrack I’d want for my life. I wish the world had been kinder to her.
2
Mama Winnie MadikizelaMandela What a woman! Mama Winnie is a constant reminder to keep using my voice. Her life and struggle have taught me to always stand for something, to amplify the voices that are drowned out and to always be intentional and intersectional.
3 THE WOMEN WHO MADE ME
Mahlogonolo Manchester Mahapa The producer, writer and creative director for SAFTAs 13 talks about the five women who’ve been influential in her life. 120 glamour.co.za
Prof Jyoti Mistry The best teacher does, indeed, send you back to yourself. I’ve been privileged to have been taught by incredible teachers who believed, challenged and inspired me to constantly learn and refine my craft. I have great respect for my former lecturer Prof Jyoti, who helped mould the way I navigate my role as a storyteller.
4
Shonda Rhimes
5
As a young girl who wanted to write for TV and develop my own shows, the first woman who made it seem possible was this powerhouse showrunner. She set the bar for the development of female-driven stories and drew me to the world of makebelieve with characters I care for.
WORDS: Thobeka Phanyeko PHOTOGRAPHY: Lesole Snap, Lauren Mulligan, Michael Ochs/Gallo Images/Getty Images, Supplied
Nina Simone