ocal L Issue 3 June 2010
Answer
Tel 01642 483304
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Page 2 The Local Answer
June 2010
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PROPERTY FOR SALE 2 bedroom detached bungalow in Easington
0 ,95
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The Local Answer
June 2010
Page 3
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Page 4 The Local Answer
June 2010
Forty uses for WD-40
Do you know what the main ingredient of WD-40 is?
I had a neighbour who had bought a new van. I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that some vandal had spray painted red all around the sides of this white van. I went over and told him the bad news. He was very upset and was trying to work out what to do, probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open. Another neighbour came out and told him to get some WD-40 and clean it off. It removed
the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm the paint that was on the van. I’m impressed! WD-40 - how did someone work out it would do that? ‘Water Displacement No.40’ The product began from a search for rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a ‘water displacement’ compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation,
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thus WD-40. The Convair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD40 that would hurt you. It’s the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower screen. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as on glass. It’s a miracle! Then try it on your cooker top .... Kazamm! It’s now shinier than it’s ever been. You’ll be amazed. Read more on page 6
Feta and Pomegranate Salad
With summer upon us and the weather suddenly becoming everything we’d hoped for try this lovely, healthy salad. It’s a feast for the eyes and the taste buds, with salty feta and sweet pomegranate. Serves 4 Ready in 45 minutes Per serving: 242kcals 18.8g fat (8.1g saturated) 9.2g protein 10.1g carbs 8g sugar 1.8g salt
Ingredients •2 pomegranates, halved •1 red onion, finely diced •3 tbsp olive oil •2 tbsp red wine vinegar •200g good feta (look for barrel-aged) •2 large chicory heads, 1 red and 1 white, large leaves roughly torn •Small bunch of fresh mint, leaves picked
Method: 1. Working over a bowl, knock out the seeds from each pomegranate half by smacking the skin quite decisively with the back of a wooden spoon. Pick out any strands of pith that escape. Mix the seeds with the onion, oil and vinegar and season to taste. Set aside for 30 minutes, as the maceration will create a dressing. 2. Slice or break the feta into bite-size pieces and add to the pomegranate. Add the chicory to the bowl along with most of the mint leaves, gently combine and transfer to a serving dish. Serve garnished with the remaining mint leaves. For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk
The Local Answer
S
June 2010
X
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Page 5
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Page 6 The Local Answer
June 2010
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Forty uses for WD-40 continued Continuing from the uses of WD-40 previously, here are the 39 other uses for WD-40:
1. Protects silver from tarnishing. 2. Removes road tar and grime from cars. 3. Cleans and lubricates guitar 20 strings. 4. Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making them slippery. 5. Keeps flies off cows. 6. Restores and cleans blackboards. 7. Removes lipstick stains. 8. Loosens stubborn zips. 9. Untangles jewellery chains. 10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks. 11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill. 12. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing. 13. Removes tomato stains from clothing. 14. Keeps glass shower screens free of water spots. 15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors. 16. Keeps scissors working smoothly. 17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes. 18. It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks. 19. Dead insects will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40! 20. Gives a children's playground gym slide a 20 shine for a super fast slide. 21. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close. 22. WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag. 23. Also, if you've discovered that your
teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash. Presto! The lipstick is gone! 24. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open. 25. Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers. 26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles. 27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans. 28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling. 29. Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly. 30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools. 31. Removes splattered grease on stove. 32. Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging. 33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs. 34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell). 35. Removes all traces of duct tape. 36. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain. 37. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some counties . 38. Use it for gnat bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch. 39. And for some reason............spray it on your arthritic knee joints etc and it will ease them. P. S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL.
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The Local Answer
June 2010
Page 7
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Page 8 The Local Answer
June 2010
The funny side of life
In a world where stress and tension have become an an accepted part of every day life there is one saving grace that we should all cling on to with affection. The human ability to laugh at the peculiarities of life is inherent in all of us and the most important thing that divides us from the rest of the animal world. So regardless of how bad the rest of your existence is here are a few examples of what makes the world go round. Harry Bloggs started work on a building site but was told he had to join the union. He refused flatly and said it was against his beliefs. The Union organiser was called and even the works manager, who didn’t want trouble with the union, tried to pursuade him, but to no avail. Later that day he was working on the scaffolding fifty yards above the street when Big Norm, the union delegate, turned up. ‘Im going to tell you this only once,’ said Big Norm, ‘either you join the union or I’m going to wrap this piece of timber round your neck and throw you down into the street. ‘Later, when they asked Harry why he’d joined the union he said ‘I’d never had the benefits
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explained so succinctly before.’
An American business tycoon arrived at a London Hotel. “I am a man of few words,” he said to the porter. ‘If I beckon with my finger that means you have to come.’ “I’m a man of few words meself,” said the porter. “If I shakes me head it means I ain’t .’ The Australian census taker told the mayor of the little bush town that he was puzzled about the town’s population. For the five years he had been on the job the population was exactly the same - 1,503. “Don’t you have babies in this place?’ he asked. “we do,’ said the mayor, but every time we do some bloke has to leave town.’ A man approached an attractive lady at a bar and asked if she’d like to have dinner with him. “No,’ she said. “I never go out with perfect strangers.’ “In that case,’ said the man, ‘you’re in luck. I’m far from perfect!’
waiter, ‘and I’ll add that bill up again.’ ‘Have you anything to say for yourself?’ asked the judge after hearing the case. ‘Naff all’ muttered the defendant. ‘What did he say?’ asked the judge leaning forward to the clerk. ‘Naff all,’ my Lord,’ answered the clerk. ‘That’s funny,’ said the judge, ‘I could have sworn I saw his lips move.’ Customer in a French Restaurant… ‘Waiter, do you have frog’s legs.’ ‘Oui Monsieur.’ ‘Then hop across the road and get me some cigarettes.’
An old man had just turned a hundred and the reporter was pressing him for his secret. ‘How,’ he asked, ‘do you think you’ve managed to live so long?’ ‘Well,’ said the old man, ‘I put it down to two things.’ ‘And what are The waiter brought the they?’ asked the reporter. bill and the man counted ‘The first thing,’ he said, his money. ‘This is a little ‘is that I always drink embarrassing ,’ said the two glasses of whiskey man, ‘but I only have every day.’ ‘And what is exactly the right money. the second?’ asked the I’m afraid there’s nothing reporter. ‘Cancelling my left for a tip.’ ‘Give me voyage on the Titanic,’ a second, Sir,’ said the said the old man.
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The Local Answer
June 2010
Page 9
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Page 10 The Local Answer
June 2010
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There’s little wonder obesity is becoming a problem! My wife and I have just spent a long weekend in a lovely cottage in Eskdale in the Lake District with other members of the family. The weather was really very pleasant and the surrounding countryside sensational but for all that mattered to the younger members of our party we may as well have been in the middle of the desert! Over the years I’ve spent many happy hours wandering around the Lakes. As kids we spent at least two weeks of every summer at a campsite in Hawkshead and loved nothing better than roaming around Coniston with fishing nets and jam jars, catching as much as we could while keeping an eye out for the other forms of wildlife that were always easy to see if you knew where to look. We always had sandwiches and pop, of course, so we didn’t need to rush back for lunch or evening meal (or as we less sophisticated kids would call it Dinner and Tea!) Now I’m obviously aware that life has changed a lot since those carefree days and we have to take so much more notice of where our children are and who they are with but as I was very keen to re-live my youth I offered to accompany the four kids we had with us to the nearest lake (about a mile and a half across some lovely countryside) so they would also begin to experience the wonders that the countryside could offer. Imagine my surprise when I realised they were simply not interested and the only mystery the countryside held for them was why anyone would want to venture into it. The cottage, you see,
was very well equipped, particularly with a 42”plasma TV, a Nintendo Wii and numerous accompanying games. That was all they wanted to do. Undeterred, my wife and I marched out without them and I enjoyed the experience as much as I had all those years ago. On return – and indeed for the rest of the weekend – the kids were on the Wii. I understand that there are some games that extend one physically, but they were more intent on the less strenuous – and to one of my more mature years rather more bloodthirsty – type of game. There’s no wonder kids are getting fat!
MOVING ALONG TOGETHER Bereavement Support Group
If you or someone you know has suffered the loss of a friend or loved one we are here to help, for we know exactly how you feel having gone through this excruciating and painful experience ourselves. We meet every Wednesday Morning from 10am till 12 noon at: Robert Atkinson Centre, Thorntree Road, Thornaby (The number 15 Bus from Stockton Town Centre Stops outside the building)
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The Local Answer
June 2010
Frame Design Don’t spoil a good painting or picture with the wrong frame & mount
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Page 11
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Page 12 The Local Answer
June 2010
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Selected health tips of the tea and banana variety! It always amazes me that the world isn’t completely full of slim, healthy, beautiful people because it’s impossible to open a magazine these days without having hundreds of health and beauty tips forced upon you. Having found one such nugget on a page of a magazine my wife had left open next to the fridge (it caught my eye as I opened my third can!) I decided to see if there were any more of these little gems that had been produced with the intention of making you women fit, healthy and more desirable to us fellas. These are just some of the tips I found. Enjoy! Drink tea - Japanese researchers claim to have recently discovered that compounds in tea known as tea catechins can help prevent influenza infection. That’s me alright then! Keep on working - According to US research it’s apparently good for your well being to continue to do part time work in an area related to your previous job after retirement. It could, they say, reduce your risk of various diseases and boost your mental health. Wouldn’t help the long term unemployed much, though, would it? Take up Yoga - Again it’s a US finding, but If you’re conscious of developing a ‘dowager’s hump’ then taking up yoga for six months can helps to reduce age related curvature of the spine by five percent, as well as improving flexibility. Cut food cravings with Vitamin D tablets - If you can’t get enough
of creamy, fattening foods try a calcium and Vitamin D supplement. Scientists found that women who took a supplement ate fewer fatty foods and lost four times more weight than those who didn’t. The researchers believe that if you’re deficient in calcium you’ll crave the foods packed with it. Got to be worth a try! Eat Bananas – they’re nature’s perfect snack food as they combine carbohydrates and fibre, giving you energy as well as making you feel full. A medium banana contains around 200 calories and no fat or salt, so they’re great as part of a diet, and because of their high potassium content eating a couple each day can also help control blood pressure. Don’t skip Breakfast – definitely the most important meal of the day because as a result of your overnight fasting your body metabolism slows down to conserve energy. By eating breakfast you kick start your metabolism into burning calories and you also provide yourself with the energy you need to get you through the day. Smile a lot – now this one I agree with. According to one magazine a smile uses many more face muscles than a frown and so helps keep the skin more supple and young looking. Don’t know about that but in my humble opinion everyone in the world looks better when they smile!
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The Local Answer
June 2010
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Page 13
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Page 14 The Local Answer
Zanshin Martial Arts & Self Defence
June 2010
Advertisers Announcement: This month I’d like to talk about
something which as a self-defence instructor has been a worry to me for some time now. For the last few year’s, there has been a proliferation of self-defence/fitness systems such as Tai-bo, Boxercise and others. It seems that in every health club and leisure centre you go to, these classes are there and doing very good business indeed. They are targeted predominantly at women and appear to offer the perfect way to get fit while learning self-defence at the same time.
Sounds great doesn’t it? But these systems have one major flaw that as far as selfdefence is concerned anyway-THEY DON’T WORK!! Self-defence training is about your safety and possibly your very survival and as such is far too important to be taught as a supplementary activity to what is basically just aerobics. For a start, punches and kicks only work if you know your about to be attacked, i.e. the attacker is standing in front of you making threat’s or offering you out and they will only work if you’ve learned them properly and not copied them parrottfashion from a lycra clad aerobics instructor. If by some fluke you manage to land a punch on your attacker, you’ll
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probably just anger or even arouse them and make them more likely to seriously hurt or even kill you. At best you’ll come away with broken fingers from the punch. Remember, you won’t be wearing nice padded boxing gloves when you are attacked! Attacks on women especially are almost always ambushes i.e. the attacker jumps out and grab’s you, or are at knife point and may well be sexually motivated, in which case the attacker will attempt to take you to the ground. A real self-defence system will show you techniques to escape from grab’s, choke’s and strangles, how to deal with knife attack’s as well as teaching you to fight on the ground. Perhaps most importantly, a good self-defence instructor will teach you way’s to minimise your chances of being attacked in the first place,
through situational awareness training and conflict de-escalation techniques. A real self-defence instructor won’t try to tell you that you’ll lose stones in weight or learn to fight like Lara Croft or Steven Seagal; they will simply give you a fighting chance if the worst should happen and ideas to prevent it happening in the first place and that really is the best selfdefence. I mean to say; I don’t go round teaching aerobics. I’d look terrible in lycra anyway! Stay safe.
Contact me Mark Paterson on 01287 280860 or 07795460889 www.zanshinmartialarts.co.uk
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The Local Answer
June 2010
Page 15
SELF-DEFENCE PRIVATE SELF-DEFENCE TUITION Mark Paterson has 30 years experience in self-defence and martial arts, is an 8th dan Master Instructor and is fully CRB checked. Over the years Mark has learned what will and won’t work in the heat of a real attack and has developed a system which does NOT require a high level of fitness and so can be used by anyone regardless of age, gender or physical ability.
As ed featur V CT on BB io 4 & Rad
Sessions can be held in our fully equipped training facility, or in your home, or venue of your choice. Training can be tailored to meet the needs of the individual student and group sessions are also available. Your first 1hour session is free! For more details contact Mark Paterson on:
01287 280860 or 07795 460889 Email: mark.paterson900@ntlworld.com
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Page 16 The Local Answer
June 2010
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Alternative approach to common ailments When we trudge off to our GP for some help with some common ailment, we go with full expectation that we are going to be given something that will cure it. If that doesn’t work we go back for something different or stronger, and if that also doesn’t work we are referred to a specialist etc. We know this system works because it has been proven to save lives.
If we ask “Why have I got this ----?”, we may well be told that there is a lot of it about, it’s just one of those things, it’s stress, a virus or even your age! In fact we are told everything except why we have it! Just try asking your doctor “Why don’t you have it then?” The fact is that there is always a cause or reason why we are poorly. Nothing happens for no reason. Here’s where we start looking for something else to blame, so we start accusing viruses, bacteria, fungi, foods, pollens or even the weather! If it were these things, everyone would be affected by them. These things can trigger things off, but they don’t necessarily cause. Let’s try to understand that health is not the absence of disease, but rather the ability to withstand disease. Even viruses, bacteria and fungi are opportunists. They only manifest themselves in someone whose health is physically, mentally, spiritually or environmentally compromised. How is it that we can see this in the case of a pot plant, but not within ourselves? If the plant is struggling in some way, it could be because of its water, the pot, the food, the light, other gases or even accompanying plants. We find out which of those it is, make the appropriate changes, and lo and behold the plant starts to thrive again and become more resistance to disease, and funnily enough we haven’t used any drugs on it!. We are also a living thing and have similar needs. The problem is that unlike the pot plant, we don’t like changes, but sometimes a change is all that is needed. Not drugs. A symptom is a result of the manner in which the body is trying to sort the problem out for itself. Most drugs are given to combat those symptoms, but they still leave us with the reason why we got it. A physician’s true purpose is to observe the manner in which the body is trying to help itself, and to help it if needed. This is why we refer to mainstream as allopathy, because it is doing the opposite to that of the body. As Holopathic Practitioners, we are concerned with finding out the reason for disease in each individual and to advise what appropriate changes are needed, and to give appropriate stimulus to the body’s own healing mechanism to enable it to get better. By Prof. Steve Russell For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk
The Local Answer
June 2010
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Page 18 The Local Answer
June 2010
Website www.local-answer.co.uk
Dylan rewrites the record And now to the reason for this apparent nostalgia Bob Dylan has books. once again stormed the British and One of my earliest recollections of stupendous live music dates back to 1964 and seeing Bob Dylan at Newcastle’s City Hall. Favourite venues at that time were Newcastle’s ‘Club a Go Go’ - resident band The Alan Price Combo, later to become ‘The Animals,’ and the fabulous ‘Kirk’ where John McCoy’s ‘Craw daddies’ were the regular feature. Dylan tickets were to go on sale at 9am on Saturday at Thomas Cook in Newcastle so we left the Go Go and queued from around 2 am, fully anticipating mile long crowds for a man who was rapidly becoming the cult figure in popular music. By nine am only ten people were present for the grand ticket sale and we were able to purchase front row seats. The concert was eventually a sell-out, of course, and Dylan appeared on stage with acoustic guitar, harmonica and all the talent in the world. He was fantastic! I saw him again in the mid nineteen eighties in a concert at St James’ Park where he starred and was backed by Santana. A total change of style had obviously taken place over the previous twenty years because Dylan has frequently re-invented himself during the course of his career. His ‘Bringing it all back home’ album was one of the main early turning points, with acoustic tracks like Mr Tambourine Man’ and ‘Gates of Eden’ being followed on the flip side by an all-electric style that introduced the ‘Maggies Farm,’ Subterranean Blues’ era of his music. Later it was a more wistful style with albums like ‘Slow Train Coming’ and ‘Desire’ showing he had lost none of his song writing talent or his ability to produce haunting melody behind the sometimes acidic lyrics.
American charts with his latest album ‘Together through life’ hitting number one on both sides of the Atlantic. It is a mixture of many things but essentially it has all the qualities and attributes that have kept Dylan at the forefront of popular music for over forty years. Sorrow, humour, acidity and intelligent lyrics are all present in abundance, yet his style remains as fresh and vibrant as it always was. The voice has changed over the years - particularly after his near death motorcycle crash - but unlike many of the sixties icons still appearing from time to time - and I number Paul McCartney among them - there is no weakness in the voice, nor has it lost any of its power or depth. He still reaches the high notes with comparative ease and brings out the type of strong melody that after only two or three listens has you humming it subconsciously. The sound is different too, because it strongly involves the work of David Hidalgo - accordion player ‘for ‘Los Lobos’ and Mike Campbell, guitarist with ‘Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers.’ It is, without doubt, a terrific album by one of the few genuine greats still living up to his legend. With luck - and some justice - it could well be in line for the best album of 2009.
For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk
The Local Answer
June 2010
Page 19
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Page 20 The Local Answer
June 2010
Website www.local-answer.co.uk
Top 10 Movies Of All Time 1. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid... I love Westerns, anyway, but this had everything. Humour, pathos, great storyline and characters galore. A great film!
2. The Sound of Music... Sorry, but this was a wonderful film at the time. I remember seeing it with my whole family and even my father – who had little understanding of the word ‘romance’ – absolutely loved it. 3. The Quiet Man... A wonderful piece of whimsy set in a beautiful little Irish village and featuring the wonderful John Wayne and Maureen O Hara partnership. One of John Ford’s best productions. 4. The Jungle Book... Still, in my opinion, the best Disney cartoon ever with a cast that included the very smooth George Sanders as the tiger Shere Kahn, Phil Harris giving a great performance as the voice of Baloo the Bear and Louis Prima in sublime jazz voice as King Louie of the Apes. 5. It’s a Wonderful Life... It might include an angel but I still defy anybody to watch this without developing at least a small lump in the throat. Sheer escapism. 6. Twelve Angry Men... Henry Fonda as the juror who stands up against the other eleven and eventually changes their minds from guilty to not guilty. Enthralling stuff and far better than the remake many years later that starred Jack Lemon in the Fonda role. 7. Forrest Gump... Wonderfully worked story of a slightly slow boy who - as he grows - inadvertently affects many people’s lives. He tells his own story to a constantly changing audience on a park bench. 8. The Scent of a Woman... Fascinating tale of Charlie, a prep school student who agrees to “babysit” a blind man for the weekend. The job is more than he anticipated because his charge -retired military officer Col. Frank Slade -has plans that include travel, women, food & wine, a chauffeured limousine and a loaded forty-five. A fabulous monologue from the Colonel at the end saves Charlie’s college career. 9. The Life of Brian... The Monty Python crowd in a hilarious parallel of the life of Christ. It was banned by many outlets at the time, yet it is really very funny and should, in no way, offend any but the most fanatical. 10. The Full Monty... Beautifully scripted comment on the problems of working class life after redundancy. Very funny and the finale is incredibly heart warming as a bunch of perceived losers make good. There is little doubt that many of you will totally disagree with most of my personal choices but that’s the nice thing about opinion! For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk
The Local Answer
June 2010
Page 21
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Page 22 The Local Answer
June 2010
Website www.local-answer.co.uk
The Truth behind the Barbie! Since elsewhere in this edition we have developed a new set of rules for women we thought it only fair to even things up a bit and point out the many examples of imbalance currently being played out around the country now that we are into the barbecue season. To do that it is important to understand just how this barbecue thing actually works! From the moment the barbecue has been decided upon the following chain of events will take place. The lady of the house either buys – or has bought - the food. She then prepares the salad, vegetables, nibbles and dessert. She also makes sure the meat is ready for cooking, usually after marinading it overnight. She then places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces ready for the grill. In the meantime her husband has put a match to the gas barbecue, opened his first can of beer and prepares to receive the meat. His wife brings it to him then steps outside of the compulsory three metre exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman. Here comes the important part… The husband places the meat on the grill. His wife, meanwhile, goes back indoors to organise the plates and cutlery before coming back out to tell her husband that the meat is looking great. He puffs out his chest and asks if she will bring another beer while he continues to flip the meat. Eventually, after a couple more cans and a few more turns of the meat, he summonses his wife and as she holds out the tray he deposits the now
cooked meats onto it. She then brings the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and meat to the table. She also ensures that everyone has enough to drink and caters for their every demand while the food is consumed. She then clears the table and washes the dishes. And, most important of all…. Everyone praises the husband and thanks him for his sterling efforts. He in turn asks his wife if she has enjoyed her day off from the drudgery of having to cook for all these people. Upon seeing her annoyed reaction, he concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women and opens another can.
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The Local Answer
June 2010
Page 23
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Page 24 The Local Answer
June 2010
Website www.local-answer.co.uk
Great sporting “quotations” That Britain is infatuated with sport is pretty much taken for granted by everybody but the journalists and interviewers whose job it is to find new slants on old subjects. Trying to get competitors and sporting administrators to come out with a statement that is truly newsworthy involves numerous hours of recording cliché after cliché. Not only that, but Interviewing sports people is fraught with danger because year after year we discover just how stupid some of them can be with a microphone under their nose. Every now and again, however, there are statements uttered that – while perhaps not constituting earth shattering news - will nevertheless live on as true sporting gems. Here are a selection: George Best on finally admitting he had a drinks problem: “I might go to alcoholics anonymous, but I think it would be difficult for me to remain anonymous.” Jim Watt – Scottish heavyweight boxing star whose world title bout was due to start at 3am: “Of course I don’t mind fighting at three in the morning. Everybody in Glasgow fights at three in the morning.” Jack Lemmon, Actor, on the social aspects of golf: “If you find it hard to meet new people just try picking up the wrong ball on a golf course.” Tommy Docherty’s opinion of the sporting press: “I’ve always said there’s a place in football for the press. They just haven’t dug it yet!” Frankie Dettori on the quality of TV racing pundits: “It seems to me the only ability you need to be a TV racing
pundit is to be able to tell viewers what is going to happen in a race before it starts and why it didn’t afterwards.” Brian Clough’s gives his views on the state of football at the time: “Football hooligans? Well there are the ninety two club chairmen for a start.” Golfer Nick job after reading a book on the power of positive thinking: “I quite enjoyed it until I found out the author committed suicide.” Gordie Howe – American ice hockey player: “No, I never broke my nose playing the game – but eleven other guys did!” Jean Pierre Rives, former French rugby union captain: “If you want to interest Frenchman in a game you tell them it’s war. If you want to interest the British in a war you tell them it’s a game.” Dick Tracey – then Minister for Sport: “Some local education authorities actually think competitive sport is bad for children. They’ll be telling us water is bad for goldfish next.” This is a reported conversation between Mohammed Ali and an air stewardess. Stewardess: “Mr Ali, please fasten your seat belt. “ Ali: “Superman don’t need no seat belt.” Stewardess: “Superman don’t need no plane either!”
For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk
The Local Answer
June 2010
Page 25
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Page 26 The Local Answer
June 2010
Website www.local-answer.co.uk
A few things the movies have taught us. As an avid cinemagoer, my friend was discussing some of the more important lessons he had learned from watching films all his life. As we talked it became apparent that they were lessons we had all subconsciously learned and that perhaps we should list them. See how many you agree with. In the movies..... 1. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off. 2. Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincing accent will do. 3. All apartments in Paris overlook the Eiffel tower. 4. Most lap top computers are powerful enough to override a bank security system or the communication system of an invading alien civilisation. 5. Every single person in a martial arts film has a black belt in karate. 6. When staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 7. 1 man shooting at 20 men has more chance of hitting them than 20 men shooting at 1 man if he is the hero.
8. During a police investigation it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once. 9. Large studio-type apartments in big cities are affordable by single people with a low wage. 10. The entire British population lives in London. 11. It doesn’t matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight; your enemies will attack you one at a time while the others dance around you menacingly. 12. In musicals’ everyone you meet in the street will know all the words to the songs and the steps to the dances. 13. When captured by an evil international terrorist, guns are not necessary to defeat them, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons. 14. The best way to get shooting practice in a western is to circle your wagons, hide behind them and then shoot at the Indians who will ride round and round without actually attacking you.
For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk
The Local Answer
June 2010
Page 27
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Page 28 The Local Answer
June 2010
Website www.local-answer.co.uk
The World Cup beckons
but are we too dependent on one man?
Having just spent an enthralling two weeks watching the T20 Cricket World Cup with the fantastic England win over the arch enemies at the end of it, everybody’s mouth must now be watering at the prospect of World Cup football from South Africa. It was a brilliant performance from the England cricket team with some fairly unlikely stars being discovered in the process. That the two main batting successes – Kieswetter and Pietersen – are actually South African by birth demonstrates the huge pull England still has on the sporting world. The real World Cup, however, is now just around the corner and after the huge disappointment of missing out under Sven Góran Eriksson in 2006 there is a real feeling of anticipation among England fans that we actually have a chance. The usual favourites are obviously being touted. Spain is a fantastic outfit and Brazil – as always – are well fancied. You can never rule out the German efficiency and African hopes are being pinned on The Ivory Coast. But there’s certainly a quiet confidence among England fans that this might once again be the year, with the obvious proviso that Rooney stays fit. And that is where the doubters enter the discussion. Many people are questioning whether we are, in fact, a one man team and believe that no other country is so reliant on the talents of just one player. Yet when you look at some of the other fantastic players around there is no reason to think that other countries aren’t feeling exactly the same. The loss of Lionel Messi, Didier Drogba, Lukas Podolski, Cristiano Ronaldo and Fernando Torres would certainly be a major blow to Argentina, Ivory Coast, Germany, Portugal and Spain respectively so why should their fans not be just as fearful as us every time one of them kicks a ball?
In fact, the real problem with England is that the highly acclaimed spine of the team so vital in getting us to the finals has been decimated over the past twelve months until there are now question marks over every section of it. Controversy continues to rage over who should actually be considered our number one keeper and unlike previous world cups that is not because they are all so good but because there are doubts over certain parts of each of their games. Similarly, the central defensive partnership of Terry and Ferdinand has developed severe doubts through lack of consistent fitness on one side and a potential lack of form and concentration on the other. In midfield the form of Gerrard throughout the season has been questionable; there are fitness doubts about Gareth Barry; the most consistent player of the season has been the rarely used Scott Parker and the likes of Carrick, Cole, Lennon and Wright Phillips have never consistently performed at this level. Perhaps the biggest worry is the lack of a genuine ‘goal machine’ that makes us so reliant on Rooney. Defoe, Crouch, Bent and Heskey make up the striking options but none of them has proved to be prolific at international level so we once again revert to the ‘what if’ question over Rooney. Despite all that, you can still physically feel the excitement and optimism of the best tournament in the world and the anticipation of a glorious four weeks – or – let’s be honest – however long England last. And since it would be totally unfair to cast all the above aspersions without actually making some sort of forecast, here goes. I honestly believe – not sure whether it’s with my heart of my head – that we could do very well indeed, and to prove I’m happy to put my money where my mouth is I have already placed a comparatively substantial each-way bet on England at a not particularly generous 6-1. Let’s all hope they go the distance!
For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk
The Local Answer
June 2010
Page 29
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Aerials (TV) MWC Services . . . . . . . Page 17 Animal Hutches/Kennels Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Appliance Repair Eaglescliffe Domestic . . Page 5 Bathrooms Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 31 Bedrooms Combi-uk . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 23 Slingbys Interiors . . . . . . Page 25 Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 31 Blinds Priory Blinds . . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Building Services A & B Cook . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Business Opportunity Local Answer . . . . . . . . . Page 27 Butchers Mr Moos . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 3 Cafe Joannas Kitchen . . . . . . Page 3 Car Body Repairs Sprayworx . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5 Revive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 27 Caravan Lets Caravan-to-let . . . . . . . . Page 2 Carpet & Upholstery Cleaning Rise & Shine . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Cladding MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 23 Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Classified Vauxhall Corsa . . . . . . . Page 7 Clubs & Societies Offroadnortheast . . . . . . Page 25 Conservatories A & B Cook . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Discount Windows . . . . Page 17 Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 13 Curtain Making Sarah Elizabeth SF . . . .Page 3 Decorating Service Gell Property . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Rievaulx Decor . . . . . . . Page 17 D.I.Y Stores MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 23 Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Domestic Cleaning Kleen4you . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Double Glazing A & B Cook . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Discount Windows . . . . Page 17
Double Glazing (cont) Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 13 Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Owen Smith . . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Window Wizard . . . . . . . Page 7 Driveways/Patios Creative Landscapes . . Page 1 Designer Driveways . . . Page 17 Electrical Services Apec Electrical . . . . . . . . Page 7 Walkers Electrical . . . . . Page 25 Estate Agent Cook & Forth . . . . . . . . . Page 2 Fascias & Soffits MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 23 New Plas Roofline . . . . Page 1 Fencing Creative Landscapes . . Page 1 Gell Property . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Fires & Fireplaces Combi-uk . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 19 Fires & Fireplaces . . . . . Page 27 Garage Construction Lidget Concrete Ltd . . . Page 11 Garage Doors Powerdor . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Garden Nurseries Diamond . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Sir Plants Alot . . . . . . . . Page 3 Garden Services Creative Landscapes . . Page 1 Guttering MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 23 New Plas Roofline . . . . Page 1 Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Hair Dressing Supplies HairOrder . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 2 Heating Combi-uk . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 19 Fires & Fireplaces . . . . . Page 27 Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . Page 21 Home Maintenance Diamond . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Gell Property . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Rievaulx Decor . . . . . . . Page 17 Window Wizard . . . . . . . Page 7 Joinery Cleveland Joinery . . . . . Page 13 Kitchens Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 31 Landscaping Creative Landscapes . . Page 1 Leaflet Design & Print Media Solutions . . . . . . . Page 22
Limousine Hire Lakes Limos . . . . . . . . . Page 25 Martial Arts Zanshin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 15 Mobile Car Body Repairs Revive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 27 Sprayworx . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5 Mobility Aids MV Mobility . . . . . . . . . . Page 11 Oven Cleaning Hobsnobs . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 13 Painting & Decor Rievaulx Decor . . . . . . . Page 17 Petcare PetPals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5 Pluves Pets . . . . . . . . . . Page 2 Picture Framing Frame Design . . . . . . . . Page 11 Plumbing & Plumbers DMAC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Roofing Services A & B Cook . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 New Plas Roofline . . . . Page 1 Satellite TV Installation MWC Services . . . . . . . Page 17 Self Defence Zanshin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 15 Sheds Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Soft Furnishings Sarah Elizabeth . . . . . . . Page 3 Solicitors Williamson Hill . . . . . . . . Page 5 Support Group Moving On . . . . . . . . . . . Page 10 Tiling DMAC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 9 TV Aerials MWC Services . . . . . . . Page 17 Web Design Media Solutions . . . . . . . Page 19 Window Cleaning Kleen4you . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Window Repairs A & B Cook . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Discount Windows . . . . Page 17 Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 13 Owen Smith . . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Window Wizard . . . . . . . Page 7 To Advertise Call 01642 483304 www.local-answer.co.uk
Friendly note to our customers: The index is a free service and the publishers cannot accept responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions. Multiple insertions depend on available space.
The Local Answer
June 2010
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Welham Kitchens • Bedrooms • Bathrooms
N EORNDITIO T U DC
3D
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Exclusive Designs And Custom Built Units, Project Management Service, Tiling, Karndean Flooring, Plastering, all carried out by experienced professional fitters.
Welham Kitchens • Bedrooms • Bathrooms For more information call
01642 491257
or visit www.welhamkitchens.co.uk
BA TH R
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Transform Your Home With A Bespoke Room
CENTRAL HEATING SERVICE Boiler Serviced From £45 plus parts +vat We Supply & Fit All Makes of Boilers. We are located just off the A174 between Redcar & Marske. Look for the Welhams’ roundabout
Visit our Showroom: Zetland Buildings, LongbeckTrading Estate, Marske by the sea. TS11 6HB
P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.
POWERTOOLS - HANDTOOLS - SCREWS - BOLTS - NAILS - PLUMBING - ELECTRICAL - SINKS - TAPS - WALL CLADDING - SAND/CEMENT - DECORATING - BLINDS
FRONT DOOR
BACK DOOR
BACK BED
1000
1200
1200
*
4MTR GUTTER £5 INC VAT
1000
*
*
1800
1800
KITCHEN
FRONT ROOM
GUTTERING
1400 *
BACK BED 1400
1600
BATH
Practical and simple to install Compatible with most other plastic systems Ideal Replacement for cast iron Integral lubricated seals
1200
*
1000
FRONT ROOM
1000
1200
QUALITY DOUBLE GLAZING
600
ALL THESE DOORS/WINDOWS FITTED BY OUR OWN FITTERS FOR ONLY £2500 WITH FENSA CERTIFICATED AND INSURANCE GUARANTEE. *ALL SIDE OPENING WINDOWS ARE FIRE ESCAPES. 28MM GLAZING, SHOOT BOLT LOCKING FOR WINDOWS, 3 HOOK 4 ROLLER LOCK, 3 FLAG HINGES (4 IF REQUIRED ON DOORS)
Telephone Your Order and have it dropped off FREE
NORMALLY FITTED WITHIN 10 DAYS FROM ORDER. CALL IN FOR A QUOTE WITH YOUR SIZES.
DOUBLE GLAZING REPAIRS OUR FITTERS WILL BE HAPPY TO HELP GIVE US A CALL
C
G
TESTING
VERTICAL/HORIZONAL BLINDS AT TRADE PRICES UNBEATABLE PRICES FOR D.I.Y CUSTOMERS
SEE OUR SHEDS AT OUR REDCAR BRANCH
Garages
Sheds
Kennels
Animal Hutches
ALL OUR SHEDS ARE COMPLETE WITH GLASS, HARDWARE AND MADE FROM WOOD “NOT” CHIPBOARD. EVERYTHING IS MADE TO MEASURE TO YOUR DESIGN AND SPECIFICATION.
STOCKTON BRANCH
01642 677778
Tel: 1 Portrack Court, Portrack Lane, Stockton, TS18 2HP OPEN: MON-FRI 7:30 - 5:30 • SAT 7:30 - 2pm • SUN 9:30 - 1pm
CRACKING DEALS ON FASCIAS/ SOFFITS & TRIMS. YOU ORDER WE DELIVER. FREE DELIVER FREE PARKING
www.screwsnthings.co.uk YOU CAN ORDER ONLINE AND COLLECT SAVING MORE MONEY Friendly note to our customers: The index is a free service and the publishers cannot accept responsibility or liability for any errors The Local Answer is produced by Solutions NE insertions Ltd (01642) 483304 Printedspace. by Acorn Web Offset (01924) 220633 orMedia omissions. Multiple depend onand available