JORNEY

Can you share the key methods or practices that helped you heal old childhood trauma and rediscover your true self?

I went back and looked at what I had been avoiding for most of my life –what we all avoid – and that is the pain of our childhood The unmet needs, the less-than-ideal circumstances, the broken hearts we pretend are ok, the trauma we minimize because “others have it so much worse…” I took a timeout from life to honour my path to that very point – how I got there and what it cost me along the way. In doing so I learned so much about myself – who I had become and WHY I became the way I was. This enabled me to see that much of my personality was formed as a result of something that happened –as a way to cope with whatever that was.

I started to understand that this was not really me but a way the human part of me learned to deal with a world that often caused her pain – the protection mechanism.

And if it was developed this way – I could certainly change it, if it no longer fit who I wanted to become – someone who’s free from the wounds of her past.

Understanding how a child develops and how a personality is formed was such a big key and a great starting point. The second was feeling all my unprocessed pain – it was stuck in my body, my energy, my nervous system and the way forward was to hold all of it with tenderness and compassion in order not to repress or resist it – but to allow it to simply dissolve. That’s what happens when we learn to sit in the discomfort of our pain – it simply loses its power over us. Somatic work –learning to experience what the young child had no tools to process was a process I relied on. It freed me from all the layers of pain and hurt I carried which prevented me from seeing the truth of who I was. Not the woman fighting for survival but a sacred, whole, tender soul having a human experience.

I spent a lot of time reconnecting with the body, realizing how much of my life was spent up in my head – thinking about life versus really living it. Breathwork, yoga, moving in a way that felt good and listening to my body and her needs – all new concepts to me that allowed me to finally take up residence in this sacred vessel I was placed in as a soul - my own human flesh and bones.

Caring for this body by nourishing it well, allowing it to rest, and being gentle with it – really I was learning not just self-care but self-love. I had spent so much of my life loving others so deeply but never loving myself. And from there, my heart simply kept opening more and more to the point that all I could feel was love everywhere – and that’s when I started to realize that this LOVE – this is who I am…

I am simplifying the journey, but it was both brutal and beautiful at the same time. Truly living for the first time…

How did moving to Paris at 39 years old become the freedom you sought, allowing you to continue your journey of self-discovery?

Paris awakened something within me that I had disconnected from – the feminine essence within me. Rather than rushing through the day, the French are so great at what they call “joie de vivre” – the joy of living. I slowed down and started to savor life, to thoroughly enjoy its experiences. Then, being surrounded by beauty all around the architecture, the clothes, the flowers, even how fruit is displayed in the market – was such a gateway for me. It noticed it everywhere to the point of being so moved by it that tears would come. I realized one day that this beauty all around me is just a reflection of my own beauty within – but I needed it as a reminder because for so long I just could not recognize my own.

Paris made me fall in love with life, with who I was in it. Something opened, softened and it was as if the external façade and my protective wall simply melted. It was this reconnection to myself, how I opened into allowing others to hold me and care for me while I struggled with my health, that also reconnected me to a community in a deep way.

Paris became the freedom I sought because finally, at last, I discovered that freedom within myself. This is why the work I now love doing most is holding my private one-to-one retreats in the City of Light. Something comes alive in women in this magical place – and I love witnessing and guiding the transformations that take place here during these life-changing retreats.

You are, and have always been, that which you are seeking.

The sooner you turn your gaze inward, and search for it within, the sooner you will find fulfillment in life. Until then you will place tremendous expectations on others, you will be disappointed by jobs, places and things - and you will wonder why. This is living life as a victim of your circumstances and all it takes is a shift for your life to transform - a shift in seeing.

All the power resides within you and taking radical responsibility for how incredible your life can be is how you get to create and live a life you love. Allow yourself to be so connected to who you are at your core – love, peace, abundance – that the external world simply reflects to you everything that you already are within. That is true manifesting.

That is living soul-led. And it is simply magical.

LMay Marta's story serve as a testament to the boundless capacity of the human spirit to navigate through adversity and emerge in the brilliance of self-discovery. Let her journey be a reminder that, in the tapestry of life, every thread, no matter how challenging, contributes to the beauty of the whole.

With heartfelt gratitude, we extend our sincere thanks to Marta for generously sharing the intricate chapters of her life. Your story is a beacon of inspiration, illuminating the path of self-discovery and resilience for all who encounter it.