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ethos is the impression you create through your communication – for example whether you show care, consideration and commitment. An often-quoted speech that demonstrates ethical appeal is Barack Obama’s presidential candidate’s address at the Democratic National CLASSIC Convention in Denver on 28 August 2008. It exudes authority and conviction: “I will end this war in Iraq responsibly, and finish the fight against al Qaeda and the Taliban in Afghanistan. I will rebuild our military to meet future conflicts. But I will also renew the tough, direct diplomacy that can SALES

SPEAK prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons and curb Russian aggression. I will build new partnerships to defeat the threats of the 21st century: terrorism and nuclear proliferation; poverty and genocide; climate change and disease. And I will restore our moral standing, so that America is once again that last, best hope for all who bit deeper, we find extrinsic and intrinsic ethos. are called to the cause of freedom, who long for lives of

SARAH HINCHLIFFE explores how peace, and who yearn for a better future.” the ancient art of public oratory can help It is easily possible to create an impression you build more compelling proposals through text. Think of the different styles of, say, Jeffrey Archer and John Steinbeck, or newspapers The Sun and The Times.

Aristotle created his seminal work, On Rhetoric, over 2,300 years ago. It included his theory of the three persuasive appeals – ethos (credibility), pathos (emotion), and logos (logic). This Here are some simple steps to improve the ethical appeal of your business writing: l Use authoritative language: take responsibility by using “will” not “would”; use the active voice; be clear and concise, avoiding fluffy wording l Write objectively: show your customers you are fair and unbiased – you are seeking to work is still regarded as the bible of solve their problems not just sell for public speaking, but the three PROPOSAL the sake of it appeals can be applied to any form GRAPHICS TO l Include evidence of your of communication. SUPPORT ETHOS expertise or pedigree: use case

While we often talk about l Customer testimonials studies, customer testimonials and emotion being the keystone of l Mini case studies third party reports. Make these the early stages of the business l Third party reports relevant and quantified, find the development lifecycle, and logic being the keystone of the proposal l Recognised publications closest matches, explain what you did, how you did it and the result phase, all three appeals apply equally l Ensure your spelling and grammar to proposals – they play to the are accurate: this shows care and emotional and logical aspects of buying attention to detail – and serve as an and the need to provide proof to be convincing. example of the excellence of your deliverables. So, let’s explore each of the three appeals and If you are tempted to think that long, complex how we can bring them to life on the page. words and sentences make you seem more ETHOS psychologist Daniel Oppenheimer of Princeton Although ethos is the Greek word for University has proved that people who write “character”, we typically associate it with ethics simply are thought to be smarter and more and think of trust. Indeed, by ethical appeal, trustworthy. Perhaps George Orwell worked that Aristotle means convincing our audience we are out years ago when he said: “Never use a foreign believable, reliable and trustworthy by showing word, a scientific word or a jargon word if you that we are of good character. If we dig a little can think of an everyday English equivalent.” intelligent, think again. Fascinating research by Extrinsic ethos is your undisputable experience PATHOS and authority. It is also your reputation, created Pathos, the Greek word for both “suffering” and by what others think and say about you. Intrinsic “experience”, is all about emotion. Think about

empathy – seeing things from the other person’s point of view. We want our audiences to convert to our way of thinking, but we also want to show that we understand their way of thinking. We need to cleverly create a meeting of emotions so there is mutual empathy.

Take Winston Churchill’s stirring speech preparing the nation for the Battle of Britain, delivered on 18 June 1940:

“What General Weygand has called the Battle of France is over; the Battle of Britain is about to begin. Upon this battle depends the survival of Christian

civilisation. Upon it depends our own British life, and the long continuity of our institutions and our Empire. The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us. Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be freed and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we

fail, then the whole world, including the United States, “Mention the customer first and at least as much as you including all that we have known and cared for, will sink mention yourself. I am constantly amazed at how many into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and proposals never mention the customer at all” perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duty and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its “To take just one example, free healthcare had been Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still knocking around as an idea in Sierra Leone for decades. say: This was their finest hour.” And there were even donor resources available to support

Churchill needed the British people behind But until the government lined up the political will – a him as the war continued, so he painted pictures clear lead from President Koroma – and the basic systems of the future that roused the emotional response to manage the reform, nothing happened. Once those of wanting to remain independent and be things were in place the reform happened at speed. With champions for the world. Ways to move your great results: since free healthcare for mothers and young proposals toward such an impact include: children was introduced, almost three times as many l Acknowledging that the customer exists: under-fives were treated in government health facilities mention them first and at least as much than during the previous 12 months, leading to an 80% as you mention yourself. I am reduction in child deaths in hospital from malaria, thereby constantly amazed at how many PROPOSAL saving thousands of lives.” proposals never mention the GRAPHICS TO customer at all SUPPORT PATHOS Some of you may now be thinking that this l Appealing to your customer’s l Photos with people appeal is easy – it’s just a question of listing out self-interest and identity: show l Co-created solutions all your features. Unfortunately, this is often how you understand their objectives l Successful demos proposals end up. For a better end result, try: and needs (both project and l Before and l Linking features to benefits: translate what the personal); paint a picture of a after shots feature will do for the customer – what outcome journey to a better place together; or result will it deliver? And quantify this think how to alleviate their negative wherever you can in terms of money, time or emotions of frustration, fear or anxiety other relevant measure. That is the true value l Expressing (appropriate) feeling: try an you are bringing emotional tone; use vivid and sensory language; l Constructing balanced arguments: include examples, stories or analogies that are PROPOSAL cite parallel cases or analogies; likely to evoke emotion l Mirroring your customer: structure your GRAPHICS TO SUPPORT LOGOS “ghost” (disadvantage) your competition by setting out different proposal in accordance with their instructions; l Graphs and tables designs or approaches with the capture their style; use the same language, words l Flows and charts pros and cons of each and spellings; write to the same level of l Photos of solutions l Support features and benefits sophistication – avoid being clever (remember l Technical diagrams with evidence: use past examples those simplicity points). and statistics to provide proof. Use

A word of warning: although starting your these throughout your proposal as an document with “We would like to thank you for integral part of your narrative. this opportunity” or “We are delighted to present the reform. Including very generous backing from DfID. our proposal” may sound like stellar examples of FINAL CHECKS AND BALANCES pathos, such phrases can sound sycophantic and If you follow this advice, you should get a good self-centred, so avoid them at all costs. Focus on balance of the three appeals throughout your your customer and not yourself – re-read the proposal; balance of both quantity and position. Churchill speech and you’ll see he doesn’t once It’s fine either to weave all three together or to mention himself, but he gets what he wants. focus on one for effect, like some of my example speeches. To check your balance, one tip is to LOGOS highlight the appeals in different colours. There Logos is the Greek word for “word” or “reason”. will be some overlap – in particular, evidence can We automatically associate it with “logic”, which support all three – and clear writing is a must. is all about how we make sense of things. Hence, If you’re short of time, focus on your executive Aristotle’s logical appeal is about convincing an SARAH HINCHLIFFE is a summary, key opening and concluding passages, audience by use of reasoning. Tony Blair’s Rethinking Leadership for director of i4 Consultancy and Design, which focuses on helping companies achieve sales and bid and strategic or high-scoring sections. Finally, try reading your proposal aloud. Put Development speech on 19 October 2011 is a excellence. i4 is a Shipley Ltd your best “world leader” hat on and see if you straightforward delivery of facts and figures that Associate. Email sarah@ i4salesperformance.co.uk or visit can impress your colleagues with your succeeds in its aim of making a powerful point: www.i4salesperformance.co.uk compelling oratory in the Aristotle style.