BBC TopGear March 2023

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Getting some face time with any one of these industry giants is a huge opportunity, hard earned. Getting John Hennessey, Gordon Murray, Mate Rimac and Christian von Koenigsegg together at the same time, in the same place... yeah, good luck with that one, Jack! And yet, through dogged determination, the juicy carrot/potential deterrent of a night out with us at the TopGear.com awards and some sizable planet alignment, there we were, on the top floor of a pub next to TG HQ. Me, squeezed into my wedding suit, fumbling in the golden tombola of topics, perched opposite four of the world’s most influential men in shaping what the high performance car did, does and will do in the future. It was quite the scoop.

We wanted to subvert the usual interview dynamic. Not another alpha CEO holding court, dictating the agenda, dribbling out news nuggets for the journalist to snaffle. No, we wanted them to talk to each other, for the presence of the other three to diffuse egos and stimulate brain cells... to simply shoot the breeze on the world of cars. As chair, my intention was to lay seeds of conversation, then retreat as they took the bait and started pinging off the limiter. I was expecting clashes of opinion, chest beating, a little name calling at the very least... but the mood remained mystifyingly calm. The respect in the room was palpable. Each arrived with an open mind and genuine excitement to meet the others. Listening, it turns out, might be the key to success. And the dynamic was fascinating: Gordon the Elder sprinkling his rhetoric with wonderful tales from the F1 coalface, speaking with the calm assurance of someone with several lives of experience in the bag. John Hennessey, the tuner turned hypercar maker championing his own freewheeling route one philosophy, then citing Mario Andretti blasting past in a McLaren F1 30 years ago as one of his inspirations.

Mate Rimac, the depressingly young upstart grasping the potential of EVs in one hand and the importance of combustion engines in the other, then mapping out a bright future for both, and Christian von Koenigsegg, the frozen chicken salesman turned performance car deity, talking about his patented 33 per cent failure rate. If hearing these four extraordinary men talk openly isn’t enough to prove anything’s possible, I don’t know what is.

And to fans of Ken Block everywhere, but especially his friends and family, our thoughts are with you all. I hope Chris Harris’ tribute on p92 reminds you of how much he meant to so many. Slide in peace, Ken.

Enjoy the issue,

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“I WAS EXPECTING CHEST BEATING, A LITTLE NAME CALLING AT THE VERY LEAST”

JACK RIX EDITOR

HEAD OF CAR TESTING Oliver Marriage

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Tom Ford

CONSULTANT EDITOR Paul Horrell

EDITOR AT LARGE Jason Barlow

US CORRESPONDENT Pat Devereux

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EDITOR, TOPGEAR.COM Vijay Pattni

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ART TEAM

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Mike Channell, Chris Harris, Richard Holt, Sam Philip

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

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£49.99

Less metal. Same mettle.

When asked for feedback on the C60 Trident, our Forum said “…make one that still gets noticed, without feeling its presence as much on your wrist.” This new C60 Trident Pro 300 is the result. Same widths. Same lug-to-lugs. Yet an average 1.75mm lower profile across the range. By using a sapphire case back, it’s an average 14.67g lighter. too. This means its depth rating is now only as good as a Submariner. To compensate: we’ve added extra lume, a new bezel and an optional screwed-link bracelet. Plus actual compensation of £94 average saving. Less. And more, then? Do your research.

christopherward.com

BRITISH AUTOMOTIVE DESIGNED WATCHES

BY MATTHEW HUMPHRIES DESIGN

MHD Watches are designed in the UK by Automotive Designer Matthew Humphries, who at 21 was made the Chief designer at Morgan Motor Company Matthew is best known for designing cars such as the stunning Morgan Aeromax, Morgan Aero Supersports and the Morgan 3 wheeler Established in 2014, MHD Watches are an independent British watch micro brand who produce limited edition motoring inspired watches Starting from £345 including free worldwide shipping Visit www mhdwatches com for more details

CONTENTS

ISSUE 369 / MARCH 2023

052 PORSCHE 911 DAKAR

The 911 has proven its credentials on road time and time again, but what about when the going gets gnarly? The new Dakar is Stuttgart’s answer

068 BOSS LEVEL

What happens when you hand Christian von Koenigsegg, Gordon Murray, John Hennessey and Mate Rimac a drink and hit the record button? We eavesdrop

080 BMW M3 TOURING

At last BMW has given us an M3 Touring, and naturally there was really only one question we wanted answering: how many St Bernards can you fit in the boot?

092

KEN BLOCK

The motoring world was left reeling when Gymkhana star and all round driving legend Ken Block passed away earlier this year Chris Harris shares his memories

100 HONDA CIVIC TYPE R

068

092 052

BMW i VISION DEE · CORVETTE E-RAY

010

INEOS GRENADIER · AUDI R8 GT · JEEP AVENGER

We head to the Highlands in the new Ineos Grenadier, plus, Merc-AMG SL55 Jeep Avenger and McLaren 765LT Spyder 034

PORSCHE

CONCEPT

· RICCI’S GARAGE

Porsche’s Vision 357 pays homage to the 356, Mark attempts to explain h s latest purchase and Porsche 911 GT3s young and old 113

ASTRA · C5 X · MULTIVAN · CX-60 · JOGGER · DS 9

It’s hello to the Vauxha l Astra, Citroen C5 X, Vo kswagen Multivan and Mazda CX-60 and goodbye to the Dacia Jogger and DS 9 123

009 TOPGEAR.COM › MARCH 2023

EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT

DEE NEUE KLASSE

BMW’s i Vision Dee concept previews a fully digital future, but takes inspiration from the past

BMW has resurrected an old name for its new electric car. And this isn’t it. This isn’t BMW’s new, um, “Neue Klasse” – a reference describing its game-changing saloons from the Sixties that morphed into what we now know as the 5-Series – but the second in a triplet of concepts exploring various aspects of what the neue Neue Klasse will represent.

Where 2021’s BMW i Vision Circular concept explored notions of sustainability, this new BMW i Vision Dee concept instead goes far deeper, to the very future of the car itself. At least according to BMW. “Whoever excels at integrating the customer’s everyday digital worlds into the vehicle at all levels will succeed in mastering the future of car building,” said BMW’s development boss Frank Weber.

And so it is a look at how the digital aspects of BMW’s Neue Klasse will take shape. And speaking of shapes, you will have already noticed that this i Vision Dee takes the form of a classic BMW. A three-box saloon.

“That’s the core, that’s the heart of BMW,” BMW i design boss Kai Langer told TopGear. He spoke of transforming the ‘icons’ of BMW’s past; retooling the design flourishes the company has traded on for a new generation of consumers.

So this three-box, midsized i Vision Dee features the company’s most famous –and recently controversial – of flourishes, the kidney grille. Here it’s made both digital and interactive, incorporated with the headlights, so that the car can actually convey facial expressions via the rather excellent E Ink technology.

The Hofmeister kink is present and correct too. “We have to keep

INSIDE, THE i VISION DEE GOES FULL ON MATRIX”

our heritage,” Langer said, “but we have to innovate them, transform them into the new digital world and give them a meaning. But they’re still there.”

What’s also there is the ability to change the exterior of the i Vision Dee in up to 32 colours. The tech’s evolved substantially since it was first launched on the iX Flow; there’s an ‘ePaper’ film applied to the body, divided up into 240 E Ink segments each of which can be controlled individually with a choice of up to 32 colours.

Furthering this interactivity is an avatar of the driver projected onto the side window as you approach as a sort of ‘welcome scenario’, while sensors detect who’s approaching and open the doors. And once inside, it goes full on Matrix

The key focus here is what BMW calls its Mixed Reality Slider, which project five stages of information/interaction directly onto the windscreen as a super-advanced head-up display.

And should the outside world become a nuisance, you can dim the windows to “gradually fade out reality”. Back in the real world, BMW will roll out a production version of the i Vision Dee’s head-up display spanning the full width of the windscreen from 2025. Is there a danger of too much info, though? “You have to see the risks and benefits and balance it out,” Langer told TG. “You have to consider the whole driving experience. Overloading information is probably not

the right solution, you have to find the right balance.”

While there’s no technical info on the BMW i Vision Dee’s various sensors or self-driving tech – or indeed its powertrain, performance or range – be assured it’s been designed for a world in which it’s possible. Langer was keen to note, though, that despite all the tech, the driver would always be in control. “It’s not that technology controls you, but it could help you a lot.”

BMW Group design boss Adrian van Hooydonk takes it one step further. “Implemented the right way, technology will create worthwhile experiences, make you a better driver and simply bring humans and machines closer together.”

For all the talk of pared back proportions and onboard tech, the i Vision Dee is still a BMW. Resurrecting an old name for a class of car renowned for its handling smarts brings expectation. But never fear, says van Hooydonk: “We have been dynamic and we always will be.” Vijay Pattni

“ONCE

Dee (Digital Emotional Experience) is the also the name of the new, AI-powered voice assistant in the BMW concept

LOTUS EUROPA S

You could see where Lotus was coming from. Its featherweight, bare-bones Elise was famously great for whanging down a B-road, but terrible for whanging across a continent. So why not transform the Elise into a bit of a grand tourer?

As it turned out, plenty of good reasons why not. Trying to GT-ify an Elise proved rather like... trying to transform a whippet into an Arabian stallion. Can’t be done, at least not without violating several important laws of ethics and nature.

Not that Lotus didn’t give it a good shot, ditching the Elise’s nat-asp Toyota engine in favour of a Vauxhall-sourced turbo unit, treating it to a leatherier interior, raising the roofline, and improving NVH levels from the Elise’s baseline of ‘zero NVH’.

Problem was, what Lotus ended up with wasn’t an Arabian stallion, but something very obviously still a whippet, now wearing a fake bushy mane and tail, a small saddle, an ill-fitting set of horseshoes and a confused expression.

And the further problem was, the fake mane and tail and horseshoes not only failed to transform the whippet into an Arabian stallion, but also made it significantly worse at doing all its original whippet stuff. The Europa wasn’t a GT, it wasn’t a sports car, and no one wanted one.

The Great Pottery Throw Down, Channel 4

Throw that clay, drip that slip, fire that pot with the pinched lil lip. Teary eyed joy that pottery has returned for another series –ceramic brakes will not, I repeat, not feature

TWIST museum, London

Mind-altering immersive rooms at the home of illusions in Oxford Circus. This isn’t estate agent patter for a studio apartment in London, it’s actually an incredibly fun half day out

Not a fan of Roman numerals? Then this is the 57th Superbowl to you. Want to stay up and watch in the UK? Coverage starts at XXIII:XXX. Live from Arizona means Rihanna shouldn’t need her ‘Umbrella’ for the half-time show...

TopGear TV, BBC iPlayer

Don’t forget that ALL of TopGear telly is ready and waiting on iPlayer

SHOCK FACTOR

No factory Corvette has ever been this fast. Or this electrified. Marking 70 years of one of the world’s most famous car names comes a bit of a shock: the all-wheel-drive hybrid Chevrolet Corvette E-Ray.

Yes, it’s a play on Stingray, but there are no games to be had here, just pure pace and traction. There’s the familiar naturally aspirated 6.2-litre small block V8 onboard, mounted in the middle which was already a first for a Vette. That sends 495bhp to the rear wheels alone. There’s an eight-speed dual clutch box at work here too.

Then comes the electricity, in the form of a 160bhp electric motor sitting on the front axle powered by a 1.9kWh battery mounted

in between the seats. Altogether, this electrified Corvette – the first ever Vette to feature electric propulsion – kicks out 655bhp, sprints to 60mph in just 2.5secs and blitzes a quarter mile in 10.5secs.

It’s possible to hit up to 45mph using just the e-motor, while there are six selectable modes that determine the level of electric assistance, or allow you to maximise battery charge. It also features a 12V battery that supports start/stop, carbon ceramic brakes and Chevy’s fancy adaptive ‘magnetic ride control’ dampers.

It’ll go on sale later this year in the US, costing £84k for the coupe, and £90k for the convertible. America’s former blue collar hero just went green. Vijay Pattni

ROLLS ROYCE SPECTRE

RE

Leaving aside the taste implication of a threetonne EV Roller for a moment, be wary with the endless choices of paint split The two-tone effect with contrasting coachline is a recipe for some extremely suspect specifications

Chevy marks the Vette’s 70th birthday by filling it with electricity and traction

CAR CONTROL... WITH CATIE

#10 DRIVING IN THE WET

WIPEOUT

Full wet or drying? Damp? Somewhere in between? Slicks or wets? Driving in wet conditions is always a lottery, but there are basics that could save your skin. Before you even think about setting off to get in the flow behind the wheel, make sure the windscreen wipers are on! This mistake lost me a race last year, although it wasn’t raining, there was a lot of standing water – one mud puddle was all it took to put me at the back of the semi-final heat.

GENTLY DOES IT

Straighten corners as much as possible – the more you lean on the tyres the more risk you take, so think about driving lines and gentle steering inputs. You need to be able to feel what the car is doing, the quicker you can feel the start of oversteer, the quicker you can react. At that point, brakes are a no-no – straighten the steering, but don’t snatch an armful of opposite lock as overcorrection will snap you violently the opposite way.

STEER WITH YOUR FOOT

In the event of a slide... rear-wheel drive: lifting off the gas will allow the rear tyres to reconnect to the road, hopefully... Sometimes this can snap back the other way when they grip, so practice is key. Front-wheel drive: gentle acceleration pulls the car forward stopping the rear trying to go sideways. Four-wheel drive: keep the wheels pointing the way you want to go and acceleration pulls you out.

STAY ON TRACKS

In a race situation, ultimately you drive through the seat of your pants, get a feeling for the surface and keep your inputs sympathetic. In the real world, never underestimate standing water in the inside lane no matter how good your tyres are. If you do find yourself splashing through it, try to keep your tyres in the lines left by the vehicle in front –aquaplaning at speed is no fun at all.

Extreme E driver, TV presenter and British rallying star Catie Munnings shares some driving wisdom

WATCHES

METAL OF THE GODS

Titanium was once rarer than rare in the world of watches, but that’s no longer the case

Lightweight and strong, titanium has been used for everything from armour plating and alloy wheels, to replacement hips and Russian subs. But for more than a century after its discovery by a Cornish vicar, the metal was little more than a name on the periodic table with no real practical use. And its use in the watch industry has always been rare... until now.

Landed gent, clergyman and amateur chemist William Gregor first extracted titanium in 1791, while analysing black sand taken from the beach near his family estate in Cornwall. The metal was initially called gregorite after the good vicar, but a man in Germany discovered it independently a short while later, calling it titanium after the Greeks’ mythological Titans, and the name stuck. Titanium did not quite live up to its godly name at first. It is abundant, but not easy to extract from its ore, so wasn’t produced in any significant quantities until the mid-20th century. Among its earliest uses was as a paint additive, but it really took off in the Sixties with the launch of the largely titanium Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, the US air force’s record breaking superjet.

It was heat resistance that made titanium a favourite for the aerospace industry, but its corrosion resistance also means it is useful at sea, where it is fashioned into propeller shafts and marine pipelines. Titanium is also non-toxic, making it suitable for a whole range of medical purposes, from heart valves to hearing aids.

All of these qualities brought titanium to the attention of the Japanese watch firm Citizen, which was testing out innovative materials. In 1970 it launched the X-8 Chronometer, the first titanium watch. The company has continued to develop the material and has its own trademarked version, called Super Titanium.

Despite this, other watch companies were slow to get on the titanium bandwagon. As well as the costs of extraction, it is more difficult to process than other metals, as the prized hardness and heat resistance make it tougher to mould and polish. But the modern watch industry loves a challenge – with thousands of companies competing for wrist space, boldness is a must. It’s taken a while, but there are now loads of titanium timepieces from pricey to high street for anyone wanting an über tough watch. Richard Holt

BLOW THE BUDGET

SEIKO PROSPEX

Seiko sells entry level watches, but prices head steeply upwards, even before you get to the lux Grand Seiko super-brand. Anyone prepared to drop several thousand on a Seiko knows that the Japanese company prides itself on quality for your cash. As well as 300m water resistance from the 45mm titanium case, this watch, codenamed SNR031, is powered by the Spring Drive movement – a mega-smooth quartz-mechanical hybrid. £5,400; seikoboutique.co.uk

UNDER £2K

HERBELIN NEWPORT CARBON TITANE

France’s watch industry lost out long ago to the Swiss. Herbelin is one of a few names keeping the French in the game, but still relies on Switzerland for technical support. This watch has a 43mm case made from a DLC-treated carbon-titanium alloy. Swiss-made automatic movement. Water resistant to 200m. £1,799; herbelin.com

UNDER £1,500

VICTORINOX I.N.O.X. PROFESSIONAL DIVER

It doesn’t get much more Swiss than a watch from the company that makes the Swiss army knife. To make the point, this watch comes with its own matching pocket knife. The 3D dial pattern reflects the oxidised brass found in shipwrecks. Quartz movement. One of 1,200 individually numbered pieces. £1,295; victorinox.com

CITIZEN SUPER TITANIUM

As we mentioned on the left, Citizen has been pioneering ways of processing titanium since it first began using it over 50 years ago. Its current offering has a 43mm case made from a scratch resistant alloy called Super Titanium. Powered by Citizen’s Eco-Drive solar-powered movement and water resistant to 100m. £319; citizenwatch.co.uk

CIRCA £300

THE KNOWLEDGE

Need-to-know nuggets of automotive news

GAME OF THE MONTH

VENOM’S ADDED FANGS

If you thought your Hennessey Venom F5 was too much of a pussycat, the US firm is offering a track version called the Revolution. Same engine and gearbox, but bespoke aero, suspension tweaks and weight saved for max attack

Need for Speed: Unbound

Need for Speed: Unbound has to boast the series’ most baffling subtitle yet What exactly has been Unbound here? The rulebook, in the process of tearing it up? It doesn’t seem so because, for the most part, this is the familiar Need For Speed formula on your PC, PS5 or Xbox The only real change is the new stylised visuals, hastily scribbled speed lines and tyre smoke which look not unlike the drawings in the back of our Year 9 maths exercise book Ironically, given the title of the series, Need for Speed: Unbound is not for people in a hurry Progress can feel painfully slow, though the racing and police chases remain powerfully compelling What the game’s not interested in is a gritty portrayal of a street racing scene Every one of your stylised competitors is refreshingly wholesome It’s less Fast and Furious and more Fast and Friendly, though we’re not convinced that would have pulled quite the same numbers at the box office

Mike Channell

GEAR

RING CAR CAM

Chances are you’ll have heard the annoying little ditty made by someone’s Ring doorbell phone app in the office recently. If you have, you’ll know this notification is usually followed by a shouting match about where should be considered a ‘safe place’ for a parcel delivery. But Ring’s video doorbells do offer an extra layer of security for your home, and the Amazon-

owned company is now branching out into cars. The aptly titled Ring Car Cam will act as both a standard dashcam when you’re on the move and a motion-activated CCTV camera when your car is parked Time to catch those crims in the act then Or perhaps you’ll just catch your neighbour putting the bins out Still, can’t be too safe ring.com; $249.99

ROSSI’S BACK TO WORKS

Most celebrate retirement by signing up for swimfit and a book club, but Valentino Rossi has bagged himself a BMW M works drive. He’ll make race and testing appearances, so he should still have some time for golf

SELF-DIVING PRICES

Tesla has generously lopped Model 3 and Y prices by over 10 per cent, the cars now starting at £43k and £45k. The firm says it’s passing on inflation drops and build efficiencies – can’t hurt stalling sales either...

UNLIMITED ADDITION

Missed out on one of Bugatti’s limited run of 40 Bolides? No fear, there’s now a £45 Lego version you can build at home. With that thirsty little W16 in the back you might want to buy a Lego petrol station too

AHEAD OF THEIR TIME FLOPS

Electrobat

A modern metropolis with an entirely electric fleet of taxicabs is a utopian vision of tomorrow, right?

Actually, it was nearly New York in the 1890s The 1 5bhp Electrobat had a 25-mile range, but the company ran low on funds just as Henry Ford’s mass-production monster came on stream

Chrysler

The Airflow proved Chrysler was studying aerodynamics back in the Thirties – along with packaging The engine was slid forward to sit between the front wheels, improving cabin room Interest was high, but the American public baulked when it went on sale

Aston

A luxury saloon car complete with a digital dashboard and touch-sensitive buttons? Surely you’d have to wait until the 2010s to be annoyed by such tech? Not so Aston Martin was dabbling with miring you in electronic purgatory way back in 1976, but the digi-dash only lasted until 1980

Mired in scandal, vindicated in court, dogged by conspiracy theories of a Ford/GM/Chrysler takedown, the Tucker story is proper movie material The car was a safety obsessed streamliner with shatterproof glass, huge cabin space, and a rear-mounted helicopter engine.

From 1996–1999, General Motors had the lead in the electric car world Originally only leased in LA, GM’s trailblazer had a positive reaction, but bean counters got cold feet about supplying spares and warranty claims, and bought back the cars to crush all but a few survivors

While the slippery Insight didn’t beat the Toyota Prius to market in Japan, it was the first hybrid to go on sale in the US Claimed economy was a record-breaking 64mpg (EPA), but the expensive to make and weeny Insight departed the scene before hybrids became huge business stateside

Rover Streetwise

A normal family hatchback with slightly jacked up suspension and plastic wheelarches: think Ford Fiesta and Focus Active, the Kia XCeed and Rover way back in 2003, half a decade before the crossover boom began to take off. And Rover wasn’t alone in being early to tall hatchbacks

... because several months before the Nissan Qashqai changed the face of family cars in the UK, Dodge gave us the Caliber: a sort of seven-eighths scale Range Rover Sport. If only it hadn’t had weak yet thirsty engines and a scaled up Matchbox model interior.

Even before it went off sale last year, BMW admitted it got the i3 wrong, or rather, it went too radical for most of the public The looks were too weird, the pursuit of efficiency too fashion phobic. What a shame – a recycled carbon-cored EV should’ve been the car of today, not tomorrow

BMW i3

Tucker 48

Dodge Caliber

GM EV1

Honda Insight

Martin Lagonda

Airflow

5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE...

MAZDA MX-30 R-EV

Engine nerds rejoice - the rotary has returned... but not how you’d expect

2 4 5 1

BYE BYE RANGE ANXIETY

The fully electric version of the CX-30 has been heavily criticised for its poor real-world range of around 100 miles (WLTP is 124 miles) that makes it impractical for venturing beyond the city. The 73bhp motor and 50-litre fuel tank will net you a total range of over 400 miles to complement the battery’s 53-mile capacity.

3IT’S QUICKER THAN THE PURE EV

The 168bhp e-motor’s job is to always drive the front wheels, while the 73bhp 830cc rotary petrol engine acts as a generator. The standard EV makes do with a mere 143bhp, so R-EV is a bit quicker. Its 0–62mph time of 9.1 seconds in the range extender plays 9.7 seconds in the EV. Top speed in both is just 87mph, though.

IT’S JUST AS PRACTICAL TOO

Mazda says it went for the rotary engine because it’s more compact than an equivalent reciprocating engine, meaning there’s no noticeable impact on cabin space. You still get the funky RX-8-style rear-hinged doors, and Mazda’s interior designers are still at the top of the game.

YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY, ETC

Mazda’s rotary engine is back in action in the catchily named new MX-30 e-Skyactiv R-EV. Don’t get too excited though – it’s been popped in a new range-extender version of the MX-30 crossover to charge up a comparatively small 17.8kWh battery and isn’t connected to the wheels.

ORDERS ARE OPEN NOW

Mazda is celebrating the return of the rotary with a special ‘Edition R’ trim. Just 400 will come to the UK and all with Jet Black paint, Maroon Rouge side pillars and a black roof. That’ll cost £37,950, but the Prime-Line and Exclusive-Line entry trims will cost the same as the EV (£31,250 and £33,150).

Today a rotary range extender, tomorrow a successor to the 787B at Le Mans? Seems logical

TOPGEAR’S GUIDE TO THE FUTURE OF EVERYTHING

MYTH BUSTER

“PLUG WARS ARE OVER”

Yeah I know charging away from home is still absurdly hard, because too many charging networks insist on their their own payment cards or apps. But at least we have settled on a single connector for Europe: the CCS, which fits plugs that work for both AC (overnight) and DC (rapid) charging Even Tesla uses it here, and Nissan is moving that way too. So that’s settled

Not in the US though There is CCS there, but Tesla has something different.

Recently Tesla renamed its proprietary connector the North American Charging Standard (NACS).

Tesla claims that by opening its patent it’s generously moving to common ground. But other makers already have CCS. Huh? As background, you might be interested to know that the recent US Infrastructure Act provides subsidies for installing EV chargers, but only if those chargers can juice up more than one make of car. And now EV minnow Aptera has adopted

NACS. So Tesla can collect grants for Superchargers. Was this Tesla’s motivation for opening up NACS? Surely only a hardened cynic would say so. Tesla says its connector is technically superior. Well yes, it is marginally smaller than a CCS and can run slightly higher power. But EV drivers don’t care about a slightly better connector. They care about certainty that every charger can charge their car. Tesla is claiming to help with that, while actually not.

Paul Horrell

NOW LATER WHO KNOWS?

SURPRISE, SURPRISE

Woah! The Jeep Avenger has just won European Car of the Year... yes, you did read that right

FATAL ATTRACTION

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THIS MONTH:

FERRARI 296 GTB

STORAGE KING

MARQUES BROWNLEE

HARD DRIVE

We download YouTube’s #1 tech expert on whatever he’s been driving this month

ou m h t e p ct , bu

he 29 GT lso ig

r nt ru k th akes

ui e ac l a wo du f e g i here whe eas t e S 90

You might not expect it, but the 296 GTB also has a big front trunk that makes it quite practical You can fit two full size duffle bags in there whereas in the SF90 you’ll struggle to get a single b k k i

ou l s g e t e kpac

FLAIR STYLE

The rather imposing stripe down the car is part of the £25,000+ Assetto Fiorano package which also

adds some extra aero bits, lots of carbon fibre, fancy Multimatic dampers and a polycarbonate engine cover. That’s a whole lot of cash, though.

Hybrid supercars are happening, people. For decades we have been used to large engines and lightweight cars, but we are now entering an era of smaller displacement petrol burners that are supplemented by a little battery and an electric motor or two (or three in the case of the bonkers 986bhp Ferrari SF90).

This is the Ferrari 296 GTB – the SF90’s smaller, friendlier brother, which has a paltry 818bhp going to the rear wheels alone. There’s an all-new combustion engine at its heart too – a 3.0-litre twin-turbo V6 that makes 663bhp on its own.

The extra 165bhp of electric boost brings two major advantages. The first is the performance advantage, because the electric motor fills in any torque gaps left by the turbo’d V6. And it really does work – the 0-62mph time of 2.9 seconds proves that. The second advantage is that you get between 10 and 15 miles of all-electric range if you charge it up. So, if you’re pulling out of your driveway at 8am in a bright red Ferrari, you don’t have to be that annoying neighbour who wakes up the whole street with a cold start. Pull away in ‘eDrive’ mode and you can whisper out to the nearest good road or highway where you can transform into a proper combustion supercar once again.

TOUCHY SUBJECT

Can someone please tell Ferrari buttons are better than capacitive touch areas. There are way too many touch sensitive functions in the 296 GTB. It’s incredibly annoying.

DOPE TECH

MB’S FAVOURITE FEATURE

Has to be the passenger display. Why don’t more supercars do this? You can use it to control the tunes, but you’re probably not listening to music –best to use it to show off your performance

LOOK AT ME

It’s obviously subjective but I’d like it to look a little more dramatic. Especially when it has over 800bhp on tap I’m not a huge fan of any of the wheel designs either

SURROUND SOUND

It sounds fantastic, brilliant job. Ferrari nicknamed the V6 the ‘piccolo V12’ (little V12) because of its distinct sound It’s a fantastic drive too – the direct steering and short wheelbase make it feel so light and agile.

SELF-CENTRED

I love how everything is so driver-focused in the cabin. The display in front of you includes all you need to know and it all feels very purposeful.

VERDICT

I had reservations, but it blew me away. The performance is incredible. The brakes have so much bite and it doesn’t feel heavy. Drive it and you’ll understand why Ferrari took this direction.

THE DRIVE: THE TECH: THE WANT:

CONSUMER TECH COMPARISON...

Samsung X5 SSD hard drive. We have these in the studio. They’re hard to get, the fastest SSDs I’ve ever used and they’re also bright red and very expensive.

How many standard Bugatti Chirons were built? Not a question I ask myself beyond extended soaks in the bath when my mobile phone battery has died and my brain is close to shutdown, but one I find interesting nonetheless. The process of ‘uniquifying’ massively expensive production cars offers a fascinating window into a world where the words ‘bespoke’ and ‘narcissistic’ seem to be indistinguishable from each other.

It was the same with the Veyron. There was the Grand Sport and the Vitesse (wasn’t that a Rover?) and the orange and black one. And the one with porcelain bits. But how many were just bog standard Veyrons? Not many judging by the ones that come up for sale. I’m fairly sure the rarest Veyron is the base model because the company pandered to the billionaires and gave them special models to make them feel even more special.

If, like me, you’re a child of the Seventies and Eighties, you’ll find this special model business completely confusing because a special model of a car – and by that I mean a mostly cosmetic exercise and lick of paint – was a sure sign of one thing. That the car was soon to end production and the manufacturer desperately needed to flog a few more before it was euthanised to make way for the snazzy new one.

Ford was the master at this – base level Escorts would be burnished with some fancy wheel trims and an electric aerial for the cassette player, then a snazzy advertising campaign would lure in the punters. They were all at it – even BMW shunted 6-Series loaded with extra goodies and called them Highlines.

There was an honesty about this. To all involved, manufacturer and consumer, the process made sense. When something was new, it sold on merit, but as it became older and less competitive against its peers, it needed an extra streak of lip gloss and a shorter skirt. The way this process works now makes absolutely no sense to me.

Take Mercedes. In the Eighties, it never would have reduced itself to the special edition game, but now it actually launches AMGs with a special edition model. I find it baffling. Viewed through my Eighties goggles all this says is: “We’re struggling to sell this brand new car and we have so little confidence that people will buy it, we’re going to jazz it up and add some silly paint.” There couldn’t be a more negative marketing message.

Ask yourself this – of the great cars, how many have special editions? There were 36 Ferrari 250 GTOs made, and that’s that. There aren’t 14 painted some silly colour and called ‘Ravioli’ – there are just GTOs. I suppose this simply shows that the ultra rich were less insecure back then – they didn’t need to prove their GTO was a bit more special than the next man’s. Because that’s what this all comes down to: being able to tell people yours is better than theirs. Imagine being so lost in yourself that you’d need to have one over on someone else who could afford a £2m car?

Hopefully the last Chiron build will be a vanilla, boggo one. And if not, Bugatti could at least paint it flat blue and slap a ‘Bonus’ sticker on its arse.

Need more of the TopGear telly show in your life? All episodes are now free to stream on BBC iPlayer

“I’M FAIRLY SURE THAT THE RAREST BUGATTI VEYRON IS THE BASE MODEL”

Special editions are released thick and fast these days, but what message does that send, ponders Chris

DON’T MISS TOPGEAR

BACK ISSUES ALSO AVAILABLE

There’s an old Mini parked on the street in front of my house Mid-Seventies vintage, in a shade of yellow I believe British Leyland called ‘Citron’, and the rest of us would call ‘Berocca Alarm’. Hasn’t moved for the last week or so, quite possibly because it’s suffered terminal mechanical decline.

Spotting the Mini for the first time, tucked surreptitiously into a lineup of Qashqais and Kugas and X3s, I wish I could say my first thought was, “My goodness, what a stellar example of British engineering genius”. But it wasn’t. My first thought was, “Wow grandad, you look proper old”.

Unsurprising, I guess. The Mini’s wearing an old N-plate, which means it was registered in 1974, which means it’s nearly half a century old. In car years, that’s basically prehistoric.

And conceptually it’s older still. The Mini launched in 1959, and barely changed in its first 15 years. It’s a 64-year-old design. No wonder it’s looking a bit please-just-let-me-die-in-peace.

But, as the days wore on and the Mini sat there – small, stoic, yellowing, increasing patina of pigeon crap – more thoughts occurred. First: yup, definite terminal breakdown, only way that thing’s moving is on the back of a truck. But also: in the grand sweep of history, maybe it’s actually shaping up pretty well?

Because go backwards 64 years from 1959, and you end up in 1895. The big automotive launch of 1895 was something called the De La Vergne, a six-seat, 8bhp “motor drag”. If you can’t picture the De La Verge, fear not, nor can literally any other human alive. Suffice to say it didn’t look like anything recognisable today as a car. It looked like a horse-drawn cart that had lost its horse.

Point is, the leap from De La Vergne to Mini is far, far greater than the leap from Mini to, say, Qashqai. The Nissan might be eight times the volume, but in terms of layout, mechanical configuration, even general silhouette, Mini and Qash are basically twins. (Schwarzenegger and DeVito twins, admittedly.)

I guess you wouldn’t necessarily hold up a Qashqai as the epitome of cutting edge motoring circa 2023. So let’s take something a bit more avant-garde. Hyundai Ioniq 5? OK, different fuelstuff, powertrain at the opposite end of the car, but beyond that, fundamentally still Mini-esque, no? Two-box shape, couple of rows of seats, pedals, steering wheel, all present and correct. Show an alien an old Mini, then show her the De La Vergne, and the Ioniq 5, and ask which is also a car, she’ll go for the Hyundai.

It can feel, in these strange days, that the car landscape is shifting at impossible speed, old certainties sinking beneath the waves, strange new realities rising in their place. But cut through the noise, and the fundamentals remain unchanged. We’re not tooling around in autonomous hover-pods. Cars are still car-shaped, they’re still operated by arms and legs. Below the frantic surface, the tectonic plates shift slowly.

Need

more of the TopGear telly show in your life?

All episodes are now free to stream on BBC iPlayer

Sam Philip is the TopGear telly script editor, and a TG mag and website regular for 15 years. Once wrote a Vauxhall Corsa joke that Paddy McGuinness described as “not totally crap”

Yes, times are a-changing, but not so fast as we might all imagine, says TGTV’s Sam Philip

“IN TERMS OF LAYOUT, EVEN GENERAL SILHOUETTE, MINI AND QASH ARE BASICALLY TWINS”

Jaguar launched its 2023 Formula E effort recently. I went to the party. Well, I didn’t. I went to the press briefing beforehand and became so downcast I departed, no longer in a party mood. Having listened to the briefing and asked a few questions, I couldn’t see why Jaguar was bothering with Formula E at all. On the contrary, it might even be harmful to the brand’s future.

Why have a racing team when JLR is driving Jaguar into the ground? All the current range is on life support. No, that’s the wrong expression. These cars’ lives are not really being supported. All the combustion cars are getting older and the facelifts and updates are threadbare. That’s because they die soon: from 2025 Jaguar will be reinvented as a modern luxury electric-only brand.

Fortunately there is a modern luxury electric-only car, the I-Pace. But it too has been abandoned. Which is odd because it’s delightful. It came out in 2018, before the Audi e-tron. The e-tron has since been given a choice of two battery sizes, two body styles and three power outputs. And then it had a facelift and more capacity for both those batteries and even a new name, Q8 e-tron. The Jaguar meantime remains one model. And that’s it.

Jaguar steadfastly refuses to give us clues about the upcoming range of cars, apart from the label ‘modern luxury’, and expensive,

which means made in small numbers. We have no evidence Jaguar has the slightest idea how to do the part of ‘luxury’ that goes beyond the product, the edifice of ‘brand experience’ that makes customers feel special and strokes their egos.

I asked Jaguar’s executive director of product development Thomas Müller how many models Jaguar will build and what they’d be like, and however many times I rephrased the line of questioning he wouldn’t be specific. All he really said was an enigmatic, “You can’t compare the Jaguars with anything. They’ll be a copy of nothing. They won’t be stuck in the past.” But then he said how much he enjoys driving the E-type. Sorry, we all love it too but I really think leaning on that stuff will be Jaguar’s undoing. This company has spent too long remembering the rakish sports cars of old white men. It needs to move on.

There was lots of talk about Formula E being good for technology transfer. It teaches engineers to work fast, and it will give critical lessons about energy efficiency, battery software and thermal management, and high voltage electronics. Not component transfer to the road cars, but knowledge transfer.

But the team shouldn’t have been called Jaguar. If they won’t talk of the road cars, the racecars will be all the world knows of Jaguar. And therefore the world might naturally assume that Jaguar isn’t about “modern electric luxury”, but instead boneshaking carbon-fibre sports cars. Why not tell us a little about the new road cars – which despite the Formula E entry don’t even have ‘sporty’ in the new brand definition – so we don’t get the wrong end of the stick? It’s not like disclosure will harm sales of the current bunch. They’re moribund already.

TG’s eco-conscious megabrain, Paul Horrell, is one of the world’s most respected and experienced car writers. Has attended every significant car launch since the Model T

Jaguar joining the Formula E circus is for absolutely no good reason, says Paul Horrell

“JAGUAR STEADFASTLY REFUSES TO GIVE US CLUES ABOUT THE UPCOMING RANGE OF CARS”

RROCK’

cinch are the used-car experts who also saved Rockingham race circuit – and a great way to beat new car waiting lists

Tired of waiting for a new car? In a quiet corner of Northamptonshire, a large swathe of cinch’s 7,000-plus cars are being readied for delivery to drivers’ homes in as little as 72 hours.

It’s a simple, risk-free process thanks to cinch’s 14-day money-back guarantee..

Shopping via an online car supermarket may not immediately appear the enthusiast’s choice, but there’s plenty for the petrolhead to love about cinch’s approach – not least the fact it’s rejuvenated and refurbished Rockingham Motor Speedway, among Britain’s fastest circuits and one which prematurely stopped hosting races and trackdays in 2018. The circuit has therefore survived, and its surroundings are now helping host Britain’s largest selection of cars available to buy entirely online. Where racecars once prepared for battle on the

famous banking, your next car might be going through its thorough checks ready for the glamorous photoshoot that’ll see it hosted on the cinch website…

You can see three very eclectic examples of cinch’s typical stock taking on that very banking here. With most of its cars under five years old, it’s fair to say the cars are reflective of what the British buying public wants, meaning around a quarter are SUVs. Perhaps one of the most convincing small crossovers of recent years – a TopGear.com Award winner, no less – is the Volvo XC40. A car that places family values at its core, it’s an easy recommendation if you want something safe yet stylish to transport the kids around in. And yet you might be surprised by just how deftly it handles the tight twists of the Rockingham infield, the manual gearbox of this affordable T3 spec adding an extra dash of

involvement. More than half of the XC40s currently in stock on cinch are electrified, though; here’s a smart and sensible SUV that offers petrol, diesel, hybrid and fully electric options, meaning there’s one to suit every family and hopefully most budgets.

cinch isn’t all about sensible A-to-B transport, however. Should you feel desperate for some evidence us car-loving folk can be catered for by this kind of car buying, the naturally aspirated 4.7-litre engine of a Maserati GranTurismo is ready to shout it loudly. While the thought of a pre-owned Italian sports car might serve up a few nervous sweats, rest assured this particular example looks – and crucially smells – as good as new. As evocative as its exterior looks, the interior is where your heart rate will truly begin to spike, the long metallic gearshift paddles and suave blue

ROLL

PREP

TALK

Here’s how a regular used car becomes a cinch star

HUGE CHOICE

With thousands of cars currently in stock on cinch.co.uk – ten per cent of them fully electric – you’re almost certain to find something that matches your criteria. cinch also comes with an ‘Excellent’ Trustpilot rating from over 22,000 reviews

METICULOUS CHECKS

Eighty cars a day enjoy a thorough check, with cinch’s eagle-eyed staff perusing every panel, poking around underneath and poring over each nook and cranny inside to make sure your purchase is in tip-top condition.

SMART FIXES

instruments proving something special lies at your fingertips. It’s not only an able partner around Rockingham, but a truly intoxicating one, the bark of its all-time-great engine echoing around the banking as it pierces the cold wintry air. The idea of ordering something this exotic online, and receiving it your doorstep mere days later? It’s impossibly exciting.

Yet there’s a car that strikes a fine balance between today’s circuit-mates. The vibrant red paint of this BMW i3S is just the cherry on top of its utter charm. Few cars have achieved such cult status in recent decades, BMW’s first major foray into fully electric cars being a practical hatchback that puts supercar technology into daily use. Glimpsing the weave of its carbon shell would liven up any journey, as would the spritely performance of its instantly available 182bhp and the smooth, hushed tones with

which it’s delivered. Weighing just 1.3 tons and driving its rear wheels alone, it’s a dark horse around the track. Life-changing though the delivery of a Maserati would be, there’s arguably even more appeal in the unmistakable shape of BMW’s plug-in pioneer being disgorged from one of cinch’s eye-catching transporters and onto your driveway. There can be few more fun ways to beat the waiting list for a brand-new EV.

Not everything that rolls into Rockingham will be perfect. That’s why cinch has paint and body shops on site and the ability to order any part it needs to ensure each car meets its new owner with at least six months’ MoT under its belt.

IN-DEPTH ADS

Every car is subjected to a glamorous 360-degree shoot with its key features and any minor scratches tagged in the resulting images. All so you know precisely what to expect when it rolls up at your door.

An Italian exotic, a crossover with four fuelling options and a cult classic EV – a truly eclectic trio that proves the breadth of cinch’s stocklist

IV

Thebigtest:

IneosGrenadier

What to do when you dislike the new Land Rover Defender and you’re super rich? Why, create a whole new rugged 4x4 yourself, of course...

WORDS JASON BARLOW

VES

It’s been a while since any manufacturer in the globe-straddling SUV market segment used phrases like “nononsense”, “stripped back”, and “workhorse” in the same sentence. But Ineos is crystal clear about the Grenadier’s purpose. It’s an old school off-roader for people who run farms or drive across – and spend nights camped out on – African plains. No doubt plenty of them will end up parked outside Daylesford Organic in the Cotswolds, but that’s not the Grenadier’s natural habitat.

Ineos? You might have heard of it. One of the world’s largest chemical companies, with a growing presence in the energy sector, it’s also a massive mover and shaker in global sport. It owns a third of the Mercedes-AMG Formula One team, runs the Grenadiers cycling team, and is bankrolling Sir Ben Ainslie’s America’s Cup sailing campaign (F1 on the ocean, basically). It’s all backed by Ineos’s owner, Sir Jim Ratcliffe, one of the richest Brits with an estimated net worth of £13.3bn. We’re talking deep pockets here.

Ratcliffe is also a bona fide adventurer who has sunk £1.3bn into building a brand new off-roader because he simply didn’t like what was available. “Have I ever experienced fear? A few times, yes,” he tells TG over dinner. “I’ve done the Matterhorn and Mont Blanc. Some people get comfortable with that sort of thing, but it wasn’t my natural turf.” Tackling the North and South Poles and crossing the Northwest Passage were presumably a doddle. He also owns a fine car collection that includes a few Mercedes

G-Wagens, which Ratcliffe loves but says he would never consider adventuring in. Which brings us to the Grenadier.

Ratcliffe cites design as one of the key attributes, but dislikes the way Land Rover has reimagined the Defender. The Grenadier is unrepentantly boxy, primarily to maximise interior space, with a wheel at each corner to reduce overhangs and big wheelarches to make off-roading easier. The front wings are flat so you can rest a mug of tea or a laptop on them. Exterior wiring, with exit points to the roof at the front and rear, allows auxiliary lighting to be fitted. A utility rail with a universal fixing system on the doors is an option. The rear door is split 30:70; open both and there’s room for a euro pallet inside. A lockable storage box is an option.

“There’s a kindness about these sorts of vehicles, even if they’re working cars,” Ineos designer Toby Ecuyer tells us. “Words like ‘faithful’ and ‘dependable’ crop up a lot. It’s not about grace or elegance. The vehicle had to be uncomplicated visually and uncomplicated to use. They’re easy to read, these things, you can see how they work just by looking at them.”

Beneath sits an old school ladder frame chassis (supplied by Gestamp in Germany), coilover suspension, and beam axles (from Italian specialist Carraro, which supplies the likes of John Deere). The chassis has been fully e-coated for maximum corrosion protection, and has reinforced steel sections in the key places. There are front and rear skid plates and protection for the 90-litre fuel tank.

The Grenadier’s 800mm wading depth is all very well, but the photographer’s wearing flippers and a snorkel

“THE GRENADIER IS UNREPENTANTLY BOXY, PRIMARILY TO MAXIMISE INTERIOR SPACE, WITH A WHEEL AT EACH CORNER TO REDUCE OVERHANGS”

“WE’RE CURRENTLY ABOUT AS FAR NORTH IN SCOTLAND AS YOU CAN GET BEFORE FALLING INTO THE NORTH SEA”

Opposite loch means something quite different in the wilds of the Scottish Highlands

Two powertrains are available, both sourced from BMW; the 3.0-litre turbo petrol is good for 282bhp and 332lb ft, the common rail direct injection turbodiesel 248bhp and 405lb ft. Ineos designed the manually adjustable two-speed transfer case, but it’s made by Tremec. In addition to its centre diff, two electronically actuated diff locks, supplied by Eaton, are also available. The eight-speed ZF automatic is the one widely used in the car industry, but recalibrated here and fitted with a heavy duty torque converter. Ineos’s engineering partner on the Grenadier, Magna Steyr, honed everything across a 1.1m mile development programme. Including the infamous Schöckl mountain pass in Austria, a particular favourite of Sir Jim’s.

We wonder whether it’s been more or less difficult getting the Grenadier done than he’d anticipated. “Oh, it’s been much more difficult,” he instantly replies. “Would we make the same decisions today, knowing what we know now compared with 2016? I’m not sure we would, really. There were various stage gates along the way where you think, ‘Shall we continue?’ But we never got close to canning the whole thing, although we finished up spending a bit more money.”

An expedition has been organised. We’re currently about as far north in mainland Scotland

as you can get before falling into the North Sea. This is home to the North Coast 500, a sweeping, fabulously scenic road that would be all sorts of awesome in, say, an Alpine A110 but may be less suited to a 2.7-tonne off-roader that accelerates to 62mph in 8.6 seconds (petrol) or 9.9 (diesel) and has some interesting roll angles. Not that we’ll be on road all that much. The plan is to traverse chunks of Scotland rarely seen unless you’re an eagle or deer.

Road first. The Grenadier driver is not the sort to dally with terms like ‘steering feel’, ‘linearity’ or ‘handling’. You turn the wheel and soon it changes direction. The Grenadier uses a recirculating ball set-up, a heavier and more ponderous solution than its rack and pinion equivalent but also much more robust and shockproof. It needs 3.85 turns lock to lock. The wheel itself is an attractive looking, chunky multifunction item, with a prominent red ‘Toot’ button to alert cyclists and horse riders. The doors feel as solid as girders.

It rides extremely well, its suspension using a five-link set-up front and rear, with progressive rate coil springs (from Eibach). It sits on 17in steel wheels as standard, with 18in steelies and 17in and 18in alloys as options, all of them using a six-stud pattern. You can choose between standard bespoke Bridgestone or optional BF

1. Differentials front and rear make this a breeze –they are part of the £1,765 Rough pack 2. BF Goodrich KO2 tyres also part of said pack 3. Built in France, proudly British, with a German flag on the badge

4. Split rear door is ideal for wonderfully thin people

The Grenadier’s off-road chops might look like overkill now, but are the potholes near you getting any smaller lately?

Goodrich all-terrain T/A KO2 rubber. It looks grand on the smaller steel wheels, but you can’t help wondering what a saturnine, LA-spec car might look like.

Despite its barn door aerodynamics and body on frame chassis, it’s also impressively refined. Eight special mounts help isolate the body from the chassis, reducing vibrations. The BMW petrol engine is a noticeably more enjoyable companion here than the diesel, more alert and characterful, but also much smoother. We noticed some buzzy vibrations in the diesel in fourth and fifth gear at around 2,000rpm, which were mildly annoying. It stops well, too, courtesy of beefy Brembo brakes.

As you’d expect, it’s hugely capable off-road, whether it’s rock crawling, wading (up to a depth of 800mm), or crossing undulating terrain. Once in off-road mode, the seatbelt reminders, parking sensors and the engine stop/start are all disabled. There’s a Downhill Assist and an Uphill Assist function, and approach, breakover and departure angles are all comparable with a coil-sprung Defender’s. It feels impregnable, post-apocalyptic

even. That said, one of the cars in our convoy did fail to proceed in a particularly muddy section. An errant rear diff was the culprit, a glitch that TG’s car suffered from the next day. Turns out that the solenoid in the diff sometimes needs a moment to get its shizzle together. Basically, we turned it off and on again.

There are other odd quirks. The wipers don’t reach far enough, leaving a patch on the screen which conspires with the hefty A-pillars to create an annoying blind spot. There’s also a significant footwell intrusion on right-hand drive cars, due to the routing of the exhaust, which means the pedals are slightly offset. Rear kneeroom is tight with a tall driver in front, and rear visibility is hampered by the split door and spare wheel.

It’s also not hugely economical, as you’d imagine: we saw an average of around 19mpg in the petrol car, and 24.5mpg in the diesel, roughly what Ineos claims. CO2 emissions are between 299 and 346g/km depending on spec.

The Grenadier’s largely analogue philosophy really comes to the fore inside. This is a car that

“THE GRENADIER IS INDIVISIBLE FROM THE MAN WHO OWNS THE GIANT COMPANY THAT MAKES IT”

INEOS GRENADIER

1 Big, chunky

glories in well spaced, chunky physical buttons rather than burying the functionality in a touchscreen. Climate control is done by big rotary knobs, and the hazard warning button sits slap bang in the middle of the console on a striped bezel with little metal hoops either side.

That doesn’t mean Ineos has done away with a touchscreen. The 12.3in Central Control System sits on top of the centre console, itself an impressively monolithic presence in the cabin, and its displays include speed, revs, gear, fuel level and tyre pressures. There’s Android Auto and Apple CarPlay connectivity, plus a display for bearing, steering angle, and vehicle attitude. There’s no binnacle ahead of the driver, so the view ahead is unimpeded. Access to the main screen is done via buttons on the wheel, menu buttons on a lower interface and a rotary controller, or on the touchscreen. An integrated compass with altimeter is an option, and Ineos has designed its own three-mode Pathfinder navigation system. Lane Assist is nowhere to be seen. Hallelujah.

If the Grenadier allows itself one moment of design showboating it’s probably in the overhead control panel housing the off-road switchgear, including the buttons for the axle differential locks and the prewired auxiliary switches for winches or light bars. Elsewhere, the gear selector is from BMW, and feels a little lightweight alongside the chunky lever that operates the transfer box. The Recaro seats and driving position are fantastic. They’re manually adjustable only. The standard trim is made of a cloth and vinyl material that’s stain, dirt and water resistant. Safari windows above the driver and passenger are standard on the Fieldmaster edition, optional on others. Parking sensors are standard at the rear and optional at the front; a rearview camera is also available.

Perhaps the door bins could be a bit bigger, and the space at the base of the console is the only place to put your phone if the cupholders are... holding cups. There are six of those, six interior grab handles, a USB-A and C port, and a 12V front socket. You can add more. The rear

bench splits 60:40 and has a dry underseat stowage compartment. There’s 1,152 litres of loadspace and with the rear bench folded flat, that rises to 2,035 litres.

Most start-ups are electric or dreamers making low volume, often pointless sports cars. The Ineos Grenadier is indivisible from the man who owns the giant company that makes it, a pioneer who thinks big and whose track record speaks for itself. This automatically makes it fascinating, even if the end result isn’t exactly groundbreaking.

Fitness for purpose is a key precept here, and the Grenadier does exactly what it sets out to do: go places most cars can’t without falling apart, while employing imagination and a dose of British idiosyncrasy. It’s also more accomplished on-road than its rivals, and almost as good overall as the Mercedes G-Class, a vehicle made by the company that invented the car in the first place. It’s also a fair bit cheaper, although a smartly specced Grenadier SW will cost you upwards of £80k. Still, job done, as they say.

buttons designed to work if you’re wearing gloves 2 The 12 3in touchscreen Central Control System was designed by Ineos, and displays speed, gear, fuel level, steering angle, multimedia 3 There’s noticeable footwell intrusion, so the pedals are slightly offset 4 Two-spoke wheel can be trimmed in nappa or saddle leather 5 Rear bench seat is rather upright, folds 60:40 Station Wagon version has 2,035 litres of loadspace with seats folded

Weight ofplay

£85,300

FOR Improved range sorts our main gripe with the old version

AGAINST Mega pricey if you go crazy on the configurator

Audi called its first EV the e-tron because it sounds all futuristic and spacy, but then it called all its electric cars e-trons and to avoid confusion the e-tron has been given a titchy little facelift and been renamed the Q8 e-tron. Which, wait, is already the name of an existing, different, combustion powered model. Oh well. Audi says the illogic will come out in the wash. The exterior has been mildly jazzed up with some fancy grille and bumper options,

the interior mostly looks the same and there’s been some token effort at weight saving. An Audi engineer waved a stick of celery in the e-tron’s general direction, or something.

Range increases come courtesy of a combination of ditching the entry battery (the 50-spec car now starts off with 89kWh for up to 290 miles), adding a beefy 106kWh option (the 55 Sportback manages up to 343 miles) and having a play with the battery chemistry to get more juice from the same package.

The Q8 e-tron is certainly specced like an electric flagship – even the £68,595 base trim is so well equipped you can hardly imagine how Audi might be able to ram more stuff in and up the price (spoiler: it succeeds). You get 20in wheels, adaptive air suspension, LED headlights, an electric opening boot, electrically adjustable front heated seats, all the touchscreens you could want and 360° parking sensors.

The weird digital door mirrors don’t come as standard until top spec Vorsprung trim

– they’re an acquired taste, like olives or leaving the house in a British winter. You might like them, but we don’t really.

There’s decent room in the back, it doesn’t feel like the floor has been compromised by tonnes of batteries being crammed under there. Even in the swoopy Sportback version there’s a decent amount of headroom for rear passengers. Three adults on the rear bench might be a bit of a chore with the diminished legroom in the middle from the centre console, but kids would be fine.

Sure, the Q8 e-tron is expensive, but it hits all the right notes for a large premium SUV and you’ll hardly notice you’re going electric. The Tesla Model X is a bit of a 10-gallon hat next to the Q8 e-tron’s German pinstripe suit and the Jaguar I-Pace is starting to show its age. The Q8 e-tron feels like a normal Audi, it doesn’t have to pretend it’s a spaceship to grab your attention. As a refined, imposing family SUV it makes a solid case for itself over its electric rivals.

Sam Burnett

Loudof theRings

£200,000 (est)

FOR Digital drift assist and faster gearshifts mean best V10 R8 yet

AGAINST Could it have been even sharper?

Whatever replaces the R8 as Audi Sport’s speed merchant flagship will, like the car opposite, wear an e-tron badge, with a heap of battery cells and electricity beneath. A mere 16 years after the original V8 R8 became Audi’s first mid-engined road car, you’re now looking at the last one. No, you can’t buy it. Each of the 333 examples has been sold.

The limited edition R8 GT isn’t really an ‘aero’ car. Audi says that the sticky up bits

together with the extended splitter and taller diffuser generate 300kg of downforce. Sounds like loads, until you delve into the small print and discover that impressive aero load is only achieved at the 199mph vmax.

As standard, there’s a carbon-fibre front anti-roll bar. This, together with forged wheels, saves 20kg. You get standard carbon-ceramic brakes, plus plenty of R8 GT badges on the back, the side sills, the floor mats, the seats...

In fact, let’s latch onto the seats. The regular R8 GT’s chairs are not very special. You can have more purposeful bucket seats, but they are an optional extra. So is the 18-way adjustable coilover suspension with a 10mm ride height drop. As is a fixed ratio steering rack, instead of Audi’s ‘dynamic’ speed-sensitive set-up.

So the R8 GT is a confusing car. It’s a runout hardcore YOLO Edition. But Audi has rowed back from making it as focused as it could have. Apparently the priority wasn’t to send the R8 off to retirement by making it fast, but turning up the fun. Which is why we have a new knob to play with. Steady on.

Nestled in the nether regions of the steering wheel is a chequered flag switch. This engages the R8 GT’s Torque Rear mode, a seven-stage traction control system allowing you to choose how sideways the car gets before the computers attempt a rescue mission.

Now Audi’s decision to make this GT rear-wheel drive makes sense. It’s a hooligan. 612bhp to the back tyres, and seven levels of

assistance to butt up against while you find out if you’re as handy as you think you are.

It’s ultimately not as clever a gadget as Ferrari’s freakish Side Slip Angle Control. In a Ferrari, the interventions are invisible, so it feels like the crowd pleasing powerslide you’ve just executed was all ‘you’. You never sense the guardian angel of electronics cupping your ego.

In the R8 GT, you feel your binary fairy godmother trimming the rough edges off your lack of talent through the seat of your pants, and smell the overworked rear brakes when you stagger out after a few laps. Yes, laps. Of course this is for track use only. You wouldn’t dream of using it on the road, would you?

Ollie Kew

JEEP AVENGER

Avenger Assembles

£36,500

FOR City friendly but countryside capable

AGAINST You can’t get a bigger battery or 4WD

The Avenger needs presence, because it’s small – smaller than any Jeep since the original Willys. So it’s a blocky looking thing. But it’s blessedly free of pointless aggression. At least in all respects beside the name; like too many SUVs, it sounds like some shoot ’em up computer game. We won’t mention a Seventies Hillman.

The design progressively riffs on current and past Jeep cues. Its lamps and painted sheetmetal are inset from the plastic all

round the perimeter, so those cheap plastic parts have a sacrificial role against gentle scrapes, in both green lane and bus lane. By the same token, short overhangs and decent ground clearance mean strong off-road creds but also a particularly nonchalant attitude to city speed bumps. Compared with its Vauxhall Mokka and DS 3 platform mates, big money has been spent on shortening the overhangs and extending wheel travel. Again, good for the rough, and for town potholes and kerbs.

So, who’d’ve thunk it? Jeep has built an excellent city car. Like any decent EV the powertrain is silent, smooth and locally emissions free. It qualifies for various cheap parking and congestion zone incentives. Prices start at £32k.

Jeep grabbed a new generation of Stellantis group electrical hardware – all-new 156bhp permanent-magnet motor, new battery cells, new inverter. Those bits will be cascaded to the other Stellantis cars soonish. The WLTP range lies between 241 and 255 miles

depending on wheel size, so you’ll probably get 200 real world in summer. Quick enough rapid charging makes its long distance compass reasonably tolerable. So it’s got the electrical gumption to propel you beyond the ring road.

And the Avenger copes. There are modes of course, some of which alter the traction systems for off-roading, and the others are for the road. ‘Eco’ really does staunch the motor so I used ‘Sport’. It’s quick enough. The Avenger is actually fairly chuckable in corners, even bumpy ones. Thank the small size and long travel suspension. It’s pleasant to steer, and quiet too. Overall it feels mature and well damped in its motions, like a bigger vehicle.

It’s surprisingly roomy for a little car too, especially in the back seat where the battery is carved away to leave foot room. Cabin and bootspace are decent. Where decent is more than stingy but less than superabundant. For a small car this is a cheery, well made and imaginative enough cabin.

Paul Horrell

Niche lustre

£32,175

FOR An individual choice, stylish but also plush and roomy

There’s a lot that the 408 isnÕt. It’s not your normal upright crossover, even though you sit slightly high. It’s not an estate, despite its long wheelbase and big boot. It’s not quite a fastback, yet the hatch tapers down elegantly. Peugeot already makes one of each of those – the 3008, 308 SW and 508 – so there’d be little point in replicating them. So maybe the 408 is pointless. Or maybe, as Pug hopes, you’ll just like it because you like it.

It’s the design, see. And boy there is a whole lot of design going on here: plastic cladding, creases, vents, dips and bumps and flicks and flaps. Fortunately the proportions are good, so the 408 doesn’t quite collapse under the weight of all these visual flirtations. If you do like it, you won’t hit usability snags. The silhouette is less bluff than a crossover so it slips through the air more economically. And thanks to the long wheelbase, it’s notably leggy in the back seat and boot.

The 308-alike dash and infotainment are stylish too and work well, even if the latter takes a bit of learning. Same for the driving position: to see the dials – over the top of the rim – you’re obliged to sit a little upright with the wheel set a little low. That’s how I drive all cars, so I’m happy.

That small wheel makes the steering feel sharp, but the suspension rolls a bit, perhaps because of the raised body. So at first you can overdo the steering, especially in the heavier PHEV version, and have the car lolling around. Use smaller, more gradual inputs and it’s actually engaging and fluent. The ride is actually pretty taut. If you want pure comfort, get a Citroen C5 X (see p124), a car of similar format.

More driver adjustment is needed for the PHEV powertrain. In petrol-electric hybrid mode it’s reasonably brisk, yet smooth and quiet if you use the throttle progressively. But jab it, as between sharp bends or out of a roundabout, and it’ll bang down through the

gears and make a fuss. And the override paddles are ineffective as the system wrests back control after a couple of seconds. Real world it does 45mpg after the 20 or so EV miles are exhausted, so unless you plug in diligently on cheap night electricity, economy isn’t that great. But if BIK at just eight per cent is your concern, have at it.

Otherwise I’d get the 1.2-litre pure petrol version. It’s a thumping 300kg lighter, so can pretty well keep up. And though that absent mass means the ride is a little more jittery, it steers more naturally. There. Saved you at least £7,000, or about £100 a month. You’re welcome.

Paul Horrell

MERCEDES-AMG SL55 4MATIC+

Soft-top dollar

£147,475

FOR Precision, practicality and ability make SL55 huge fun

AGAINST Porsche 911 still just edges it, interior not 10/10

There’s been a lot going on in the Haus of SL, and this isn’t a gentle aesthetic renovation so much as a complete foundation-up rebuild: the all-new aluminium platform shares elements with the upcoming AMG GT replacement – four-wheel drive and rear-steer, back seats (hello Porsche 911), and a lighter fabric roof to name but a few. The range consists of SL63, SL55 (both V8s with AWD) and a lower powered, RWD SL43 V6 which is yet to be sampled. In the 55’s case,

that means a familiar 4.0 twin-turbo V8 with 469bhp and 516lb ft of torque – respectable, if not desperately impressive for a sports car costing just shy of £150k.

It’s nicer on the inside than ever before, deceptively spacious – though those back seats are similar to the 911’s in that they are (very) occasional – and of good quality. It’s not perfect, some bits are a little lacking in tactility and the tiltable, sun-dodging 11.9in portrait touchscreen had a tiny wobble built in. However, it’s all also easy to understand and use, slightly more so than the S-Class system on which it’s based. Weird.

The electric fabric hood drops/raises in moments, a pleasing mechanical ballet, with the promise of excitement. Mainly because the centrepiece of the SL55 experience is the V8 engine and accompanying exhaust note(s). Choose from various modes for the active systems – suspension, throttle, exhaust –and you can make the SL55 everything from raucous to refined. And that engine is a peach,

bellowing on command, crackling on the downshift without feeling synthesised.

Yes, the the ride quality suffers on a pockmarked UK B-road, but there’s a broad spread of ability here. And when you do go fast, you won’t be overly surprised that the SL55 feels very much like the current GT – nimble, aggressive turn-in and direction change, and a sharp transition to oversteer. Despite AWD, the SL still feels like you can rotate it from the rear if you’re being a hooligan. The nine-speed dual-shift gearbox is as seamless as ever, although you never know what gear you’re in unless you’re capable of mathematical multitasking, and with a 0–62mph time under 4.0secs and brawny torque, it’s no slouch.

Bluntly, the SL55 is a belter. Not as intimidating as a 63 under power, with a CV that covers both comfy touring and some edge on a tempting road. It’s not perfect, but the compromises are well judged for a proper sporting roadster. The SL is back.

Tom Ford

PAPER LOVES TREES

European forests, which provide wood for making paper, paper packaging and many other products, have been growing by 1,500 football pitches every day!

Source: Food and Agriculture Organisation of the United Nations (FAO), 2005 - 2020 European Forests: EU27 + Norway, Switzerland and the UK

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MUST TRY HARDER

YOU’D THINK THAT AN 831BHP, 1,084LB FT four-seat GT with a scarcely believable 0–62mph time of 2.9 seconds would be right up TG’s street. It’s got a 630bhp twin-turbo V8 and Merc’s modular, plug ’n’ play 201bhp motor and battery system. It has 4Matic all-wheel drive and a fast discharge electrical system that’s supposed to offer performance enhancement rather than specific electric-only running – although it can manage a few miles in stealth EV mode. And yet... the GT63 S E just doesn’t hit the spot. It’s more nimble than it has a right to be, but feels like it’s constantly disguising weight with clever electronics. The handover between the electric motor and ICE is clumsy and although the power is ludicrous and enthralling, somehow it never quite clicks on the road. Never has over 800bhp ended up being quite so ‘meh’. Now obviously there’s a lot to be said for subtlety, too, but for the kind of uplift you’re looking at over a standard GT63, tweaked front and rear bumpers and a couple of E Performance badges don’t quite make it feel special enough. And there’s the rub for this car: the Mercedes AMG GT63 S. Non-E. With 637-odd bhp, the same 4Matic and 9spd box and a 0–62mph time of 3.2 seconds, it’s a better car to drive without the hybrid. At £156,175, it’s still not beans, but still £17.5k-ish cheaper than the S E’s £173,655. It’s a no from us. Tom Ford

Wincy spider

£310,500

FOR Sublime steering and chassis, friendlier road manners

AGAINST Vast cost, the 720S exists and is marvellous

The 765LT came out over two years ago now, and when we first drove it we weren’t entirely convinced by it. Sure, it was ultra-fast and had the wonderful communication skills McLarens have built their reputation on. But it was also a little spiky in its manners. A bit too hectic. And that was in warm summer conditions. Now we’ve driven it in winter. Surely that’s not going to improve matters?

But somehow, it’s different. Better different. On winter tyres it felt friendlier and less snatchy than it had on Pirelli’s hardcore Trofeo tyres. Still had wonderful steering and chassis feel, but felt less frenetic. So I spoke to McLaren, convinced some other changes must have been made, maybe to the engine software to reduce the turbos’ sudden impact – from our previous experience that seemed to be the biggest underlying issue. But no, no changes that might account for that.

However, McLaren did point out that the winter tyres have a wider operating band (read sweet spot) than the Trofeos. Getting heat into the latter, even in summer, isn’t easy. The winters don’t have the same problem. Plus in winter you’re naturally more circumspect, aware of the compromises you have to make. But we’re also used to a certain amount of squidge and vagueness creeping in to softer compound tyres equipped with lots of channels and sipes. Not really noticeable here. No slop, squidge or anything other than enthralling, communicative handling.

Sure, you could only use full throttle at low revs, knowing just how hard 590lb ft hits in a car weighing less than 1,400kg. Circumspection is required. That applies to any modern supercar at any time of year to be honest. There’s quite a bit of road noise bouncing around the carbon cockpit, and the ride is firm. Reminds me what a great all-rounder the regular 720S is. But if you’re set on spending 300 large and care more about steering, chassis and the sensations of driving rather than the versatility of hybrid, consider this instead of a Ferrari 296 GTS. Ollie

Marriage

Theoverrun

Small but perfectly formed reviews. The best of the rest from this month’s drives

£37,285

FOR Stylish looks, sensible infotainment set-up

AGAINST The PHEV isn’t really the best version to go for

I’ve realised I’d recommend the Astra over the current VW Golf to anyone looking for a family hatch and frankly I’m shook. It’s not perfect – the ride’s a bit fussy with the PHEV’s 12.4kWh of battery, and it’s not a swish interior despite Vauxhall’s best efforts. But it all works quite well. Apart from the voice assistant, that’s fairly useless. Usual caveat – only go for the PHEV if you can charge at home, those 42 miles of claimed range run out quickly. SB

FOR Manual gearlever stubbier than usual... it makes a difference AGAINST A GT3 for the masses? Hmmm, this is still a £98,500 car

The 911 for those who don’t want anything as hardcore as a GT3, but that still offers some driver focus and lightweight goodies. Total weight is 1,470kg, 35kg lighter than the basic 911 Carrera –thanks to a standard 7spd manual, no rear seat and lightweight glass. You get the same engine as the base Carrera so pants will not be set on fire but, how fast do you need to go? On 95 per cent of public roads, it’s all the Porsche you need. JR

£40,910

FOR Sensible family transport for seven (as long as two are small)

AGAINST It’s starting to lag behind in a few places

The Kodiaq is getting on a bit in car years (it launched way back in 2016), but only seems to improve with age. It’s the perfect sensible family all-rounder, and while it might not yet come with a plug (Kia’s Sorento is a nice seven seater PHEV if you feel like you need one) the diesels are worth checking out if you can handle the school run social stigma. This petrol is impressively economical, though, and feels smaller than it looks on the move, too. SB

FOR Solid, dependable, and it’s not German AGAINST Its PHEV range is still quite small, needs BEV option

Volvo’s XC60 fulfils the ‘estate car on stilts’ brief of a road-biased crossover SUV perfectly, and still remains fresh after nearly six years on sale thanks to a judiciously updated infotainment set-up and this company car-tastic PHEV option that comes with a 14.7kWh battery and 47 miles of official range. Better than most rivals, but the new Merc GLC does over 80. The XC60 is infused with pleasant, no fuss Swedishness, which is why we still quite like it. SB

£98,500

VAUXHALL ASTRA HYBRID GS LINE

PORSCHE 911 CARRERA T

SKODA KODIAQ SPORTLINE

VOLVO XC60 RECHARGE PLUS

£60,555

Off-road supercars are for show not go, right?

We put Porsche’s ‘tough’ new 911 Dakar through the wringer on two continents to find out

WORDS JACK RIX PHOTOGRAPHY OLGUN KORDAL & JOHN WYCHERLEY

I fully expected to encounter a selection of snakes, scorpions and flubber-lipped camels in Errachidia – a dusty outcrop where sand meets lush oasis, sandwiched between the Atlas Mountains and the Algerian border. What I wasn’t expecting was bumping into a two-time world rally champion called Walter, a man who is quite open about Morocco being his least favourite driving destination. “Rallying here in Morocco, in the dunes, it’s Russian roulette. I didn’t like it. I want a smooth road where the fastest man wins, not the luckiest one,” Mr Röhrl tells me over a thimble of mint tea. “Me, going fast here? You must be crazy.”

He’s got a point; the landscape Porsche has parachuted us into is fairly... unforgiving. We’re staying in a bivouac-style camp at the foot of the dunes – heaps of pillowy candy floss as the pinkish first light drips down them, but venture in and they rise and fall like a storm surge, a rolling mass of deep powder intent on burying you, sprinkled with shrubs that seem innocuous, but are hard as granite beneath... desert landmines lying in wait. Fair play to Porsche for green-lighting this location – if you’re going to launch a new rough and tumble 911, lean on your rally heritage and name it after the most gruelling race in the world – best to prove it can do what it says on the bootlid. So we’re here to test the new 911 Dakar in a place no 911 has any right to play in. Later we’ll take it to another, equally inhospitable environment, just to be sure. But this is a Porsche, it still needs to do the meaty bit in the middle – to be tactile to drive, rudely rapid and take care of the daily stuff. Not everyone has dunes on their doorstep.

Back to Walter: “I remember in 1996 I drove the 996 GT3 at the Nürburgring, the first production car under eight minutes – 7mins 56secs. You can do the same with this car, on this tyre.” That’s just extraordinary, because the tyres he refers to are the bespoke to the Dakar, standard fit Pirelli Scorpions with their Lego brick block tread and high sidewalls. They’re a key part of why the Dakar looks so damn good, why it can pull grip from soft, sugary sand and why the top speed is limited to 149mph to avoid the rubber ripping

“WE’RE HERE TO TEST THE NEW 911 DAKAR IN A PLACE NO 911 HAS ANY RIGHT TO PLAY IN”

“RALLYING HERE IN MOROCCO, IN THE DUNES, IT’S RUSSIAN ROULETTE. I DIDN’T LIKE IT”

Jack’s got his bucket and spade in the front but didn’t need it in the end

before you’ve taken a brave/stupid pill and played with the paint, added the roof rack with spotlights imbedded in the leading edge, and the official roof tent. Word of caution, those last two accessories look wonderful out here in the desert... probably a bit much around Brentford.

The headlines, then. The Dakar’s basis is the 911 Carrera 4 GTS, which means a 3.0 twin-turbo flat-six with 475bhp, an 8spd PDK gearbox and 0–62mph in 3.4 seconds on a dry flat surface, although a new Rallye launch mode lets you live out your WRC fantasies in low grip conditions by allowing 20 per cent more slip. You get rear wheel steering and two new driving modes: Rallye, which sends 80 per cent of the power to the back wheels (and where we shall spend most of our time) and Offroad, which prioritises a more even torque split for maximum traction and a fully jacked ride height. While the lift kit, tyres and rear steering add weight over a GTS, the deletion of any active aero, GT3 engine mounts and bonnet, carbon bucket seats, no rear seats, thinner glass and a lithiumion battery all trim things down to a respectable 1,605kg –just 10kg more than a GTS. Long story short, this isn’t a Friday afternoon job, Porsche has put the work in to justify the price. Only 2,500 will be built costing £173k before options.

itself apart... a fact that makes Röhrl’s speed claim all the more bewildering. Walter’s bought one too, in dark green, mainly because it’s more comfortable and easier to get in and out of than any other 911. To be fair, he is 75.

Before we get to what the 911 Dakar can do, let’s deal with the why. There was a time when Porsche bossed the Dakar rally – first conquering it in 1984 with the 953 and then in 1986 with the 959 supercar, and up until this point it hasn’t properly leveraged that success. Now it’s bleeding it for all its worth, hence our £18.5k Rallye Design package with its two-tone paintjob and go faster stripes that pay tribute to the Dakar winning Rothmans 953... although no fag adverts are allowed these days, so it says Roughroads instead. Right. There are other, more affordable retro wraps too, including a swirly Martini tribute – a nod to a livery used in the East African Safari Rally in 1978... yours for a smidge over £4k. Block colours are also available – Farrow and Ball fans, you’re going to love Shade Green. Porsche’s message is clear; customers are growing tired of aimless extra horsepower, brutal downforce and speed you can’t use in 99 per cent of situations. What we want is versatility, plain and simple fun and stories we can connect to. Amen to that. And it looks fantastic, no? There’s been plenty of chatter about Porsche not going far enough, that it’s merely a 911 given the Audi Allroad treatment, and to that I say... balls. With its arch extensions, towing eyes, those tyres, stainless steel underbody cladding, unique carbon spoiler, the GT3’s nostriled carbon bonnet, suspension raised 50mm over a standard 911 on sports suspension (plus a lift system that can raise it another 30mm for “ambitious off-roading” up to speeds of 105mph) it looks subtly spectacular. And that’s

We collect cars at the airport and travel in convoy through strict speed limits, endless police checkpoints and villages full of cheering kids and nonplussed donkeys. It’s an exercise in willpower, but fascinating too because already it feels every inch a 911. I was concerned it might float and wobble, but despite spring rates slackened by 50 per cent there’s still a tautness to the body control, underpinned by an unfamiliar suppleness. The steering still chatters, the tyres are no noisier than winters, the exhaust seems a little raspier – that could just be in my head. If you already rate non-GT 911s as comfortable conveyances this is, predictably, even better.

First stop: The Playground. A vast dusty plain sitting in the shadow of the dunes – photography and hooning heaven, and the perfect place to start uncorking potential. Rallye mode, everything off, raise the suspension and go nuts. We pick a cluster of bushes to give us something to aim for and live out every rally/Dakar/drift fantasy I’ve ever had.

Sideways has never been so easy, simply pick an arbitrary point and keep your foot in to keep sliding. Back it in with a bit of speed and four wheel drift your way around, kicking up great rooster tails of dirt, the engine pinballing off the limiter in second, then third. Would sir like more angle? Take a tighter radius, give it a flick and you can hold it on the lock stops to your heart’s content. It’s pure video game stuff – silly, pointless but utterly joyous and addictive. Once the deeper

“THIS FRANKENSTEIN SPORTS CAR ISN’T JUST ABSORBING PUNISHMENT, BUT REVELLING IN IT”

PORSCHE 911 DAKAR

Price: £173,000 (+£18,434 for the Rallye Design package)

Engine: 2981cc twin-turbo

flat-six, 475bhp, 420lb ft

Transmission: 8spd PDK, 4WD

Performance: 0–62mph

in 3.4secs, 149mph

Economy: 25mpg, 256g/km CO2

Weight: 1,605kg

sections start to cut up and the ruts get bigger, you’re slamming into them sideways, wheels bouncing into the air, but we keep going, keep lobbing, keep abusing this magnificent Frankenstein-fettled sports car that isn’t just absorbing the punishment, but revelling in it. At first it feels all sorts of wrong, but several hours later I’ve made peace – there’s nothing I can do to break it.

Could you use more power? Of course, but you don’t need it. Speed out here is momentum, linking your slides, keeping it clean and out of trouble and, crucially, having confidence in your car. It’s encouraging me to throw new and interesting shapes. This is entertainment in its purest form, you’re not rewarded for accuracy and smoothness, the more liberties you take, the more the car responds. It’s my kind of driving: fast, loose and driving talent is a nice to have, not a prerequisite.

The next morning we emerge from our tents (reader, this is not camping as we know it. Tents with flushing ensuite toilets? Where does it all go?) and watch as the sun reaches its fiery fingers across the sky and empties the honey pot over everything. Sheesh, this is beautiful. I look at our photographer Olgun and he’s vibrating with excitement. We grab our unwashed car and head out for an explore and a play. Driving in the dunes versus The Playground is a different ballgame entirely. The key is not to turn too sharply, keep your momentum up and, ideally, don’t stop. If you do, don’t do so on an upslope and don’t brake too hard or sand will build up in front of the tyres. Follow all the above and there’s a chance you won’t get beached. But you probably will.

I take back what I said yesterday, this is driving nirvana. Because the adrenalin is cranked up, because the topography makes it so much more extreme, there’s increased satisfaction in getting it right. Offroad mode, everything off and four-fifths aggression is your friend here, you want to surf the surface, not burrow into it, and carve out languid arcs. How can a Porsche 911, the same car capable of morphing into the downforce obsessed, track hugging GT3 RS, be capable of this? The breadth of its abilities are just mad. It’s genuinely

Driving the wheels off a car is usually just a saying, but for Jack it’s more of a mantra

“ IT’S PURE VIDEO GAME STUFF; SILLY, POINTLESS BUT UTTERLY JOYOUS AND ADDICTIVE”

unstoppable... until we pop a tyre off the rim, and limp to a flat area with a horrible banging noise from the right rear. Well, that’s what you get with tyres deflated down to 1.2 bar for grip when you’re smashing around with all the sympathy of an Alcatraz prison guard. Fortunately, it’s no biggie: bit of air, quick jiggle, and it pings backs on.

Clearly, there are cars that are tougher and can go further in the dunes (hat tip to the Land Cruisers picking stricken journalists out like buried Hot Wheels models in a sandpit), but are any of them more fun? Not sure they are. Definitely a stage win for the 911 Dakar in Morocco, then, but before we give it the TG seal of approval, and in the interests of thorough product testing, we need to make sure it works everywhere. What we need now is somewhere extremely cold, and some normal roads...

CUT TO PORSCHE’S ZUFFENHAUSEN FACTORY, A FEW DAYS LATER, AND WE HAVE OURSELVES A NEW 911 DAKAR IDENTICAL IN EVERY WAY TO THE CAR WE DROVE IN MOROCCO (I’D LIKE TO SAY this was meticulous planning rather than blind luck, but clearly it was the latter), except for winter tyres instead of Pirelli Scorpions (a legal requirement in Germany this time of year), I’ve had a haircut and we’re on the hunt for snow not sand. Found it! On the grass, next to a bin in the car park. Yeah, it wasn’t supposed to be quite that easy, a lack of precipitation and high temps in Europe have closed a swathe of ski resorts recently and caused the GP Ice Race in Zell am See, Austria, to be canned. So we’re taking no chances and pointing ourselves towards one of the highest passes in Germany –the Rossfeld Panoramastrasse. But first... some normality.

Oh well, you just have to muddle through with a 149mph top speed on the 911 Dakar

ROOF TENT

It’s £4,400 for the privilege of sleeping on top of your car. Hot water bottle and teddy not included

Well, normal for Germans, Neverland for the rest of us. Maxing out on the autobahn, how original, I hear you yawn. But wait! There’s science afoot. I shall call this a demonstration of the fact being limited to 149mph isn’t a serious handicap. We clock 154mph indicated before bumping into the limiter, while it’s snowing lightly, and nobody overtook us. Don’t say TopGear doesn’t do consumer advice. And while we’re here, a moment to appreciate these seats that are not just lightweight, but lock you in place when you’re pinging around off-road and are relentlessly comfortable. I settle in, stick a podcast on and arrive at the hotel several hours later as fresh as the foot-deep powder that’s piled up

STEP AWAY FROM THE CONFIGURATOR

Yours for £4,679... doesn’t include water canisters and holders (£171 each), sand boards (£233), spade and holder (£262) or a carbon roof (£2,517) COLOURS

Black, white or silver metallic at no extra cost.

Shade Green/Shark

Ice Grey all £1,919 extra, or go the whole hog with ‘Roughroads’ paintjob for £18,434, or one of three retro wraps (below) –£4,209 for the Martini one, £2,946 for the others

WHEELS

One wheel design – silver as standard, can be painted white or ‘silky’ black for an extra £5,475. Don’t let us sway you, but white for the win

ROOF RACK

Blue/

Lairy slide, or careful three-point turn out of a snow bank? You decide...

“WE APPROACH THE PANORAMASTRASSE, PAY €7, AND ENTER OUR OWN WINTER WONDERLAND”

around us. More pro planning/blind luck as Europe’s snow drought comes to an end precisely when we need it to.

Up before sunrise and the snow’s sheeting down as we approach the Panoramastrasse barrier, pay the €7, and enter our own winter wonderland. Not sure how much panorama we’re going to see today with thick clouds engulfing the mountain, but the strasse is good. Coiling its way up the mountain through dense trees, a mix of well-sighted straights and hairpins, then wide open at the top. The Dakar’s all over it, slithering the entire way up, tiptoeing on the way down, the winter tyres performing tiny miracles at each turn.

Grip is this car’s enemy... sliding is its friend. Once again I’m in Rallye mode, everything switched off, and because there’s far less traction here than in the sand, I’m getting similar sensations but in slow motion. And because the speeds are lower, the stakes are reduced, and the lower the risks the more outrageous the angles. Must be honest, on reviewing the pictures I didn’t realise I was quite so close to kissing the barrier with the rear bumper, but this car eggs you on to push yourself a little harder and then responds to whatever you ask of it with crisp, predictable moves. Could I be doing this in a standard Carrera 4 GTS on winters? Probably. Ground clearance and rampover angle (19°, compared with 20-ish in a Cayenne) aren’t as important here as in the desert, but it still offers some welcome leeway and squidge, and in the Dakar, this behaviour just feels right. This is what it was born for.

The joy of gliding about in the snow is that – for any European buyers at least – it’s an attainable target. Shipping your car to the nearest desert might be financially ruinous, but pointing it towards some altitude and ice isn’t. But then again, there’s fun to be had in the mud, on gravel and I’ve got a suspicion it’ll be hilarious on a wet racetrack, too. It’s a car that actively seeks out terrible conditions and turns them into opportunities. It encourages you to go places, to use your purchase properly, and even if you don’t you’re left with a hipster-spec Porsche that’s a joy to use every day.

You might recall in 2020 Porsche released a coffee table book Unseen that showcased a series of projects and ideas that never made it through boot camp to production. In 2012 it built a ‘Safari’ version of the 991, but it fell on deaf ears in the boardroom. Quite why it’s taken until now to realise this is a slam dunk of an idea is beyond me, because besides a £50k hike over the Carrera 4 GTS it’s based on, it’s a 911 without downsides. If you want to smash lap records then sure, a GT3 RS is going to fit that bill better, but for everything else, the Dakar’s got you covered, including unlocking the sort of fun formerly reserved for tricked out trucks, SUVs and desert racers. It’s also the perfect car for 75-year-old retired rallying legends. Just ask Walter.

Cabin is comfortable on the whole, but bring a friend for the toll booths...

Subs desk rarely gets to enjoy a sentence with something wrong in every word

BOSS

Put four great performance car minds in the same room, toss in some random topics and you have yourself a conversation for the history books

WORDS JACK RIX PHOTOGRAPHY TOM BARNES & HUCKLEBERRY MOUNTAIN

Gordon arrives first, a little early, catches us off guard. Not that he cares, he’s casual and confident, happy to strike up a chat with whoever’s nearest – hands in pockets, loose-fitting blazer over colourful untucked shirt. His punctuality makes sense, the other three have a combined 6,761 miles of travel to get here, Surrey based Gordon has 28. Mr Hennessey barrels in next – big smiles, even bigger handshakes, thick Texas charm. He and Gordon gravitate towards each other, I flap about trying to find them both a glass of sparkling water –bit too early for a cocktail.

Things are going well. Two of our four star guests have arrived, brawling between rival factions of the performance car elite has yet to materialise, and despite Masterchef final levels of stress there’s hope we might pull this off.

Christian von Koenigsegg rocks up with a small TV crew in tow. They’re filming a documentary on the great hypercar entrepreneur for Swedish TV and thought this might be interesting to include. We shall see. More handshakes, nods, introductions, another sparkling water. A lock-in is looking unlikely.

So it’s Mate Rimac bringing up the rear – not a power move from the 34-year-old whippersnapper, his PR assures us, but sticky traffic on the A40. In he comes, suit, no tie, trainers and orders... a pint of IPA. He’ll go far this Rimac chap.

So that’s it, a full complement, four of the biggest and most influential names in the car industry, in one place. Later tonight we have the TopGear.com Awards ceremony to attend, but for now the rules are simple: there are no rules. We want an open debate, four great minds swapping ideas and opinions on various subjects, chosen at random from the golden tombola of topics. Release the balls...

“You know, I originally thought your cars went so fast because they were powered by French brandy...”

Can an EV ever be more exciting to drive than a combustion engined car? And if so, how do we get there?

John Hennessey: In a straight line, yeah. But with weight, battery technology and fast charging there’s still a lot left to come. You’re going to drill everybody in a drag race, but if we go to the Nordschleife, it might be a different story.

Gordon Murray: At the moment, the answer is categorically an electric car can’t give you all the emotional stuff. For somebody my age or even down to 30- or 25-year-olds, it’ll never give you the emotional experience of a lightweight dynamic motor car with the noise and the rest of it. However, there will be a time when people of a certain age are not here anymore, and the people left won’t remember that stuff. Electric cars will become the norm. And then companies will build sporty ones that handle properly, it’s just a timeline. You can’t just draw a line now and say that’s it. It’ll change.

Christian von Koenigsegg: I don’t think we’re looking at combustion engines being replaced by electric motors. Imagine if you could run on a CO2 negative fuel, there would be no environmental detriment, in fact the more you drive,

“I’m MATE RIMAC, founder of Rimac Automobili and CEO of Bugatti Rimac. I’m still in my first job, and sitting among many of my heroes today, so thanks a lot for the invitation. Oh, and I’m 34. Sorry, Gordon.”

“THE COMBUSTION ENGINE WILL REMAIN IN THE FUTURE”

the less CO2 there is there because you pay an environmental tax when you produce the fuel. Having said all of that, most likely, an electric car will be lighter than a combustion in around 10 years. But will it be more fun and more emotional? We will see.

Mate Rimac: So in the future all normal cars should be electric, and there will be exciting cars on the road that are electric, but the combustion engine will remain for enthusiasts – future Bugattis will still have a combustion engine. You don’t want to hear a diesel Golf on the street, you want that to be silent. But to hear a V12 is something entirely different, I hope that still happens for decades to come.

I think there’s space for both combustion and electric. Maybe also a bit of encouragement for the enthusiasts here – I don’t see any legislation that will stop us from making combustion engine supercars or hypercars in limited volumes beyond 2035.

What is the future of top speed and performance figures? Does anyone really want or need to go faster than 300 miles per hour?

MR: Well, nobody needs to go 300mph and nobody needs a hypercar, but life is not only about problems we need to solve to survive. If you apply that to everything, nobody should have any pleasure in life. You should have one pair of shoes, one pair of pants. You shouldn’t watch TV. You shouldn’t do anything that’s beyond survival.

When a rally with 50 hypercars comes into a city, the city stops. There are tens of thousands of people on the roads, little kids touching these cars, taking photos, sitting in the car, being inspired by it. Which other product in the world can do that? What else can you put in front of people to cause that fascination? I always say cars are the accumulation of human ingenuity and knowledge. You have everything there, material sciences, fluid dynamics, simulations, electronics, software.

Now go and watch the video on topgear.com

“LIFE IS NOT ONLY ABOUT PROBLEMS WE NEED TO SOLVE TO SURVIVE”

Plus, it’s a piece of art. With performance, we are lifting the bar higher and higher, and showing what’s possible. And it’s an interesting competition that has been going on, well, since Gordon’s McLaren F1. We are now at a point, close to 500kph, where both Koenigsegg and Bugatti have said they will never do a car that’s faster than the current ones.

CvK: I think you’re onto something. What is the biggest contribution Koenigsegg is giving to society? We’re supplying very few expensive cars to the wealthy car enthusiast, but we invent and create interesting technology that can trickle down. We show you can live your dream, show that stuff out of the ordinary is possible, we lift spirits and make people believe.

JH: I think we’re all living our dream, to some degree. I hear it on a regular basis, the inspiration that we give to others, primarily young people, and 30 years ago it was me standing on the side of a test track watching Mario Andretti in a McLaren F1 go by at 220+mph in West Texas, and that’s one of my inspirations. There’s definitely more to it for me, my family and our business than just selling cars and growing. I feel like we touch lives in a certain way.

Back to your original question, I think performance validation is always important. People always look at the numbers, but ultimately, when our clients are driving a car, the feedback I get is about the sensation, the experience. Having said that, I always want to climb a higher mountain.

CvK: There is a price to pay for top speed, though, because everything else in the car has to cope. You have to bleed off your downforce, you have to have certain tyre technology, suspension technology, gear ratios... it all adds weight. So given what the road system looks like, it doesn’t make sense to go any faster. If you want to go faster, you can go out into the salt lakes with a rocket car.

GM: I agree with these guys, particularly what you said Mate... you need to be inspirational if you’re in this business. We need

“So a doctor, a vicar and an engineer were playing a round of golf...”

to do these things to push people, to make them look up and be excited. Having said that, I can honestly put my hand on my heart and say when I did the McLaren F1, I had no performance targets in mind, it just happened to go fast. The only reason I calculated the top speed was to choose the gear ratios, it just happened to do 240mph. It’s absolutely valid to have targets like lap times, top speeds or 0–100mph because it’s inspirational, but in our particular company, we don’t focus on that at all. We focus on just the driving. If anybody thinks a 1,000kg car with 650bhp isn’t going to feel fast... well, you don’t have to measure it. It’s going to feel quick.

How important is failure?

GM: I think it’s fantastically important, and I’ve had plenty – you learn so much more from your mistakes than you do from doing things correctly. My biggest mistake in F1? It was the Swedish GP in ’78 and we had just got the fan on the BT46 not to explode with five days to go by casting the blades in magnesium. We’d finished two fan cars and we had a third monocoque and all the parts, but the car wasn’t assembled. So I said to the guys, just chuck it in the back in case we have an accident and we can build up a third car. We won the race and they came and sealed the car, it was legal, but the other manufacturers talked Bernie into withdrawing it. I agreed because it was for the good of F1, but I was so upset, we could have won every race by half a minute. About a week later the mechanics came to me and said, “We’ve got this third car in the corner of the workshop and it’s taking up space. What are we going to do with it?” I said, “Take it outside and chop it up.”

CvK: Life is full of mistakes and I have a very simple philosophy. If you managed to get two out of three right, you have a chance to move forward. So I’d say I’m wrong 33 per cent of the time.

JH: I could talk all night about failure. I got a PhD in failure. Failure is not final. The only real failure would be to give up. There have been many points where I’m like, “Man, is this really a good idea? Should I really keep going?” We kept on going. So failure’s not final, failure’s an opportunity to learn.

MR: There’s so many things coming into my head from very public things like when Richard Hammond crashed the car and we were on the brink of bankruptcy anyway, we should have gone under at that time and then that happened. One thing I’d do differently: if you are too public about your plan and then you don’t do exactly what you said, there’s public scrutiny. So I now don’t want to show what we are doing too early, in the future I will be more careful about communicating plans that are not a hundred per cent bulletproof.

TG: Apart from with us, you can just tell us all your plans.

“I THINK WE’RE ALL LIVING OUR DREAM”

“I’m JOHN HENNESSEY, founder and CEO, Hennessey Performance from Houston, Texas. We make fast cars and trucks go faster. We also build the Venom F5. Hope is my wife, I’ve got five kids all in the business, and I’m just glad to be here with you guys.”

“I’m CHRISTIAN VON KOENIGSEGG from Sweden, founder and CEO of Koenigsegg Automotive. I’ve dreamt about building cars ever since I can remember. When I was 19 I started my first company – buying something for X, selling it for Y – it ended up being plastic bags, pens, frozen chickens, whatever. Three years later I said to myself, “What was it I wanted to do again?” It took me a lot of blood, sweat and tears to deliver the first car to a customer in 2002 and I’ve just kept on going ever since.”

“WE SHOW THAT STUFF OUT OF THE ORDINARY IS POSSIBLE”

QUICK FIRE ROUND

GORDON MURRAY

Scores out of 10 from the TG team are final, no arguments

CHRISTIAN VON KOENIGSEGG

My Miata from when I was 19, a Tesla, a Koenigsegg or a Lotus Excel from 1988

A

WHAT DO YOU DRIVE?

WHAT CAR DID YOU WANT TO OWN AS A KID?

382kph (237mph)

WHAT’S THE FASTEST YOU’VE EVER DRIVEN?

WHAT’S THE BEST SOUNDING CAR EVER?

WHAT’S THE BEST ROADTRIP SNACK?

RWD for steering precision and fun

AWD OR RWD?

BEST CAR COLOUR?

If you can burn your tyres, you have more than enough

I can, but I wouldn’t say I’m an expert

WHAT’S THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF BHP?

CAN YOU DRIFT?

HAVE YOU BEEN CAUGHT SPEEDING?

WHAT’S THE LAST CAR THAT MADE YOU SMILE?

IF YOU COULD ONLY DRIVE ONE CAR FOR THE REST OF TIME? ONE OTHER CAR COMPANY YOU REALLY ADMIRE?

Everything, I’m a car guy. I don’t just drive Rimacs or Bugattis

An E30 M3, a Carrera GT and a McLaren SLR... I just bought all three

Pretty good, yes

ARE YOU A GOOD PASSENGER?

Nothing. You don’t want to make your car dirty

RWD, every day

There’s no right amount, it can never be enough

Close to 400kph (249mhp) Absolutely

do that *looks guilty*

Every car I drive – most cars have something special

Something with a lot of horsepower and rear wheel drive – a BMW probably

I admire lots, I draw inspiration from all sides

No, good drivers are never good passengers... I hope I’m a good driver

A Lotus Elan

My Mazda Miata

Lotus Esprit

Jesko

“I’m GORDON MURRAY, chairman of the Gordon Murray Group and I’ve been in racing and performance cars for 55 years. I’ve only had three jobs: 17 years running and designing Brabhams in F1, three years at McLaren in F1 and then I started McLaren Automotive. Fifteen years ago, we started our own business at Gordon Murray Group. I’m still enjoying it just as much now as I did way back in the Sixties.”

“ELON MUSK IS PROBABLY THE MOST DRIVEN GUY I’VE EVER MET”

GM: I think 20 years in F1 teaches you a lot about failure, too. Because you’re there, you cannot miss a Grand Prix because you’re out of the season. So you’re fundamentally at war every two weeks and you’re back at base for six or seven days to make 30, 40 changes to the car and it’s just relentless. Whether you like it or not, you are measured every two weeks.

JH: In front of the whole world.

GM: The famous year in ’88 where the MP4/4 won 15 out of 16 races... I used to go down every morning and talk to the entire shop floor. And after that race in Monza that we lost, people were totally shell shocked. It was just... they had got so used to success.

CvK: It was time to lose.

Elon Musk, what are your thoughts on the man? Is he a good or a bad thing for the car industry?

CvK: I mean, he’s otherworldly in many ways. What that man has managed to achieve... if you made it up as a story, no one would believe it. If anyone has proved you can do anything and multiple things simultaneously, it’s Elon, right? Of course he’s a character, but what he did to the car industry, he just shook it up completely. A few years ago, people said the electric car is never going to happen. Now, it’s the only thing, and without Elon and Tesla that would never have happened. I think that’s a good thing for the planet and for the automotive industry. And it’s pretty cool that one day we can go to Mars as well.

GM: I’ve met him a couple of times, one of the meetings was about potentially working together a few years back, and he is incredibly driven... he’s probably the most driven guy I think I’ve ever met and that’s saying something because I’m a bit single minded at times. The brave thing for me was there weren’t start-ups in those days in high volume car manufacturing, to be a start-up with a brand new powertrain, I mean... you have to admire the man.

MR: I also met Elon a couple of times and we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. I was following it from day one, when Tesla stocks were $20 flat for a long time. He gets lots of criticism, saying he’s just an investor, that other people are doing all the work, but the one thing that’s different with Tesla to everybody else is Elon, just Elon; the way he runs the business, his bold visions and then the execution. He has this big global picture, a drive to make life multiplanetary, but can also drill into the details like few others. Five, six years ago, Tesla was being ridiculed – it had bad panel gaps, it doesn’t make good cars...

JH: They still have bad panel gaps.

MR: Yeah, but now everyone is chasing it. He’s a human, he makes mistakes. He might have announced things that didn’t happen or happened too late, and made early promises about self-driving cars, but he has accomplished lots of things and changed the industry completely.

JH: The more he fails, the more he succeeds. I love his courage and I’m proud that he’s a fellow Texan now – he lives up the road in Austin. Whether it’s Tesla, SpaceX, now Twitter, I love that he’s a free speech libertarian kind of guy. Again, he’s human and he fails like we all fail. And when he fails, it’s in the public eye, but just think of the value, the jobs and the technology that he’s created. As an entrepreneur, I have huge admiration for this guy, he’s the king of the double down. You’d have to literally bury him in a hole to stop him from doing whatever he’s trying to do.

MR: He’s also worth billions and billions, like hundreds of billions. So it’s admirable that while he could do anything

he wants, he is committing his life and working day and night to push the world forward.

TG: I think this is probably the right moment for me to introduce our special guest... please welcome Elon Musk! Actually, sorry, he was washing his hair today. Couldn’t make it.

You’ve got one last tank of fuel (or one full charge of electricity), what car are you putting it in and where are you going to drive it?

GM: Series 3 Lotus Elan and the Highlands of Scotland.

TG: Probably the quickest answer all day. You’ve thought about that one before, haven’t you?

GM: Well it’s still, in my opinion, probably the best handling sports car that’s ever been made.

CvK: I’d have the modern version of that... my Mazda Miata from when I was 19 around Iceland. I drove a Koenigsegg there once, it was pretty cool. It looks like you’re on Mars, there are no other cars and fun roads.

MR: For me, probably an E30 M3. It was always my dream car and I got lucky enough to buy one a couple of years ago. I would drive it towards my hometown of Livno in Bosnia where you have this amazing road which is still undiscovered, until now.

I think it’s the best driver’s road in the world, it has wild horses running around you, it’s incredible.

JH: So I just turned 60 a few weeks ago. My wife and kids bought me a better version of my first car, which was a 1969 Oldsmobile Cutlass 442 convertible, an old school muscle car. I’d drive it on the Pacific Coast Highway somewhere between Carmel and Big Sur. Yeah, that’d be one good tank of gas.

Behold! The golden tombola of topics, filled with the ping pong balls of destiny

THE DOG’S

At last, an M3 estate. We put its touring and dog carrying abilities to the test with a 1,500-mile roadtrip... to Barryland

WORDS OLLIE KEW PHOTOGRAPHY RICHARD PARDON

REGULAR TOPGEAR READERS AND SEMIPRO CAR NERDS: TALK AMONG YOURSELVES FOR A MINUTE.

Excuse me while I welcome the sometime car appreciator. Perhaps you plucked out this fine title to kill time while waiting for a train, or it’s now 2026 and this was the least dog-eared title in the dentist’s. How are the self-driving cars and Mars-based timeshares working out for you? Ah. Thought not.

For you, the Perfectly Normal Person non-fluent in engine codes and model year updates, the fact BMW’s sped up 3-Series is now available as an estate car is unlikely to register on your potential highlights of 2023-ometer. Volkswagen made a Golf R estate last year. You didn’t catch us taking that on a 1,500-mile European adventure.

What you must get your head around is the sense of destiny in waiting here. In the 37 years the BMW M3 has existed – steadily morphing from spartan homologation racer to deluxe tech-infested turbobrute – BMW has never offered it in a Touring body style. Two-door coupes, yes, and four-door saloons. Floppy, overweight cabrios were deemed a worthy extension of the brand, but the humble wagon? Nein. And in fairness to BMW, you can see why.

The two previous occasions upon which M has ordained to give us a super-tourer: the early Nineties E34 M5 and 2007–2010’s V10 E61 M5 (sorry, keep your model codes glossary handy) flopped harder than Matt Hancock’s literary career. “If you want M Power mit a ginormous boot, we’ll sell

you a tidy line in bolshy SUVs,” was the party line. Meanwhile, Audi and AMG gleefully vacuumed up the modest sales (but inestimable cool factor) of rocket-propelled estate cars.

There’s an irony in BMW finally offering nerds the car we’ve yearned for attached to a face that seems to satirise the worst stereotypes of BMW drivers. I don’t know about you but the Halloween beaver mask hasn’t grown on me. The rear works though: swollen haunches, a subtle 3D-printed roof spoiler, and the usual quad-tunnel exhausts which are (unusually, these days) genuine pipes rather than imitations.

Ironically the noise a turbocharged direct-injection emission controlled straight-six spits out is underwhelming, so the noise is faked inside, not all that convincingly. It’s a more barrel chested soundtrack than the new hybrid 4cyl AMG C63 at least.

Tuesday is the delivery job: get the M3 to Switzerland. Besides a minor detour to the ghostly Reims grandstands and more fuel stops than ideal (a 59-litre tank simply isn’t enough when average economy is sub-25 to the gallon), the M3’s progress is uninterrupted, come rain, snow or more rain. I suspect the winter tyres have added a dollop of extra plushness to the ride, and photographer Richard and I express amazement at the lack of backache from the skeletal fixed-back chairs.

But I’m unconvinced. Having to explain the carbon groin mound muscling its way between your legs to a Normal Non-Car Person is going to make friendly lifts awkward. The illuminated

BMW

‘Alpin5’ winter tyres smooth the edge off the M3’s taut ride, but barely dent its epic handling

Would have scraped the snow off the roof, but always good to have a reserve for the next snowball fight Now

M3 legends in said ‘lightweight’ chairs are risibly gauche, and why exactly would you equip a utilitarian estate car with gloss carbonfibre backrests? Hardly screams “load me up with a mountain bike/ fresh lumber/rubbish for the tip”, does it?

Mind you, neither does an as-tested price of £103,000. An M3 Touring starts life as an £80,000 machine, but this car’s £22,500 of optional extras – including the carbon seats and £8k of ceramic brakes – take it into the realm of exotica.

We arrive in Martigny after dark, a typically tidy but architecturally anonymous Swiss city nestling in the Rhone valley.

The M3’s matte paintwork is encrusted with salt. Stubborn icicles cling to the diffuser. I think it looks tremendous. Richard agrees once I reassure him we’re not going to clean it for each photo. Cars get dirty. Fast cars look cooler dirty. And 700 miles of grime covers the worst of BMW’s crimes against styling.

We’re up at dawn, and so are the snowploughs: when you get up to 400mm of snow a year, you need to invest in the equipment to keep life moving. This isn’t Heathrow airport, you know. Every other vehicle on the road at half past seven in the morning is a plough, scuttling about creating neat piles of roadside powder. Heading south toward Mont Vélan and the Italian border, we’ve finally arrived on roads where the M3 can show off more than its solid grand touring credentials.

Sorry if this is an anticlimax, but you simply can’t tell it’s the Touring. On paper, there are sacrifices: this version weighs 85kg more than an M3 saloon with four-wheel drive: 25kg of that is invested in stiffening gussets to counteract the lengthy roof and gaping hole in the rear, plus there are the usual caveats of extra glass and a taller centre of gravity. No carbon roof here either, because BMW couldn’t find a supplier that’d stamp a big enough panel without it adding another zero to the price.

But on the road – specifically the glassy smooth E27 that snakes its way up through the Alps towards the Great St Bernard pass –this just feels like an M3. Mighty. Limitless torque, outrageous pace, and the occasional fumble from the eight-speed gearbox, which never quite delivers the urgency and impact of the old twin-clutch, but is admittedly more polite when merely mooching. The steering’s weighty and has an oily, reassuring sturdiness – this isn’t super light, super fast modern car steering with the associated video game connotations. Metal and rubber are being manhandled, and it feels good. Steering wheel’s still too thick – why does M insist its drivers yearn to grip something girthy? One wonders.

If you’re The Stig, or you’re driving without any sense of self-preservation back-to-back with an M3 saloon, you might detect where the wagon loses a percent or two. But in isolation, in the real world, nope. This is a monstrously capable wagon. And therein lies a trait it absolutely shares with the two- and four-door versions of the current M3: that even once you’ve locked down your ideal engine, gearbox, steering, exhaust, brake and traction control settings, you only really unlock the depths of reserve in this chassis once you’re way beyond socially acceptable speeds.

Today’s M3 is a phenomenal piece of automotive engineering, but requires massive restraint on the driver’s part. Somehow that seems more appropriate in an estate. This is an unselfish car. The mega-wagon’s image is less thrusting than an M4’s. It says you may have other priorities. Further interests beyond powaahhh. If an M4 CSL is one of those ludicrous trussed-up show poodles, the Touring is a police-issue German shepherd. Obedient and useful, but disrespect it and it’ll dislocate your shoulder. Or put you in prison.

The Great St Bernard pass is shut. To spare you the false jeopardy, we knew it would be: it’s routinely closed until April, despite a record-breakingly mild Alpine winter, with several Swiss ski resorts hastily rebranding themselves as mountain bike trails. This corner of Switzerland got its first meaningful white stuff 48 hours before the M3 deposited us here.

Only the first quarter of a mile is cleared, and provides a handy dead-end playground for testing the M3’s rear-wheel-drive wild

“DISRESPECT THE TOURING AND IT’LL PUT YOU IN PRISON”

BMW M3 TOURING

Price: £80,550 (£103,155 as tested) Engine: 3.0-litre twin-turbo straight-six, 503bhp, 470lb ft

Transmission: 8spd auto, AWD

Performance: 0–62mph in 3.6secs, 174mph Economy: 27.4mpg, 231g/km CO2

Weight: 1,865kg

Yep, you can fit a St Bernard in the boot. Closing the door with it still in there is the tricky part

Missing, presumed buried: photographer. Last seen crouching behind BMW M3

BMW M3 TOURING

side. Frankly, the rear-biased default setting is so well balanced, I’d question the need to ever pension off 50 per cent of your traction. It gives the handling depth, if that’s not too hopelessly pretentious: there are levels to explore. And you’d never say that of an Audi RS4. BMW took its damn time giving us the car to end all cars, but waiting for this generation – with a world class AWD system and freakish duality of character – is probably the optimum time to green-light a Touring. Especially as it’ll have to be electric within a decade, and the C63’s already amid a hybrid identity crisis.

The light’s beautiful now but the photographer whinges something about needing to feel his fingers or he’s contacting the union, so we drop back down towards Martigny. Half an hour north, right at Aigne and you’re onto the Col du Pillon, which doesn’t close for winter. It’s no well kept secret – there are trucks, tourists and demonically committed locals defending the honour of quattrodrive Audis at every switchback.

In the tighter, meltwater-drenched hairpins the M3 could’ve felt cumbersome. Instead, it churns through technical stuff with a staunch refusal to understeer, and the ceramic brakes offer sensational feel even when your toes have gone black with frostbite. I should note too that this whole time, the 505-litre boot is teeming with camera cases, squashy overnight bags and snacks. Most photoshoots you’ve ever seen in TopGear magazine – whether you’re a veteran reader or a newbie – have required a support car to cart around the kit. The Touring swallows the lot with a shrug.

For the first time with the current M3, I’m experiencing a strange and disarming pang: desirability. Despite the hideous bodywork, the needlessly complex new touchscreen interface, the naff digital instruments, and that eye-watering price that makes a £60k M340i Touring (secretly the best car BMW makes) look a total steal, the combination of right car, right shape in the right place has the M3 gelling at last. It’s not all the car you could ever want. It’s more car than you’d ever need.

We descend towards base camp one more time. The M3 is fast, comfortable, entertaining, commodious, technologically overqualified and feels solidly built from improved materials. But we couldn’t bring it all this way and not subject it to trial by dog. There’s this strange fetishisation of fast estate cars as hellbound

mutt wagons, even though you’d never countenance driving even remotely swiftly with a four-legged pal in the boot. Or anything back there, frankly. Except someone else’s cameras.

So our final stop is Barryland. The official breeding facility, visitor centre and museum of the St Bernard dog. The underwhelming name comes courtesy of the most celebrated mountain rescue pooch of them all, a male named Barry credited with tens – perhaps hundreds – of rescues in the 19th century. St Bernards were originally kept for this noble purpose by the monks in an eponymous hospice atop the St Bernard pass, ready to aid stranded travellers attempting to cross the border.

The dogs haven’t done any rescuing since the Fifties – a helicopter is more versatile these days it turns out – and like me you’ll be dismayed to learn they never in fact carried a barrel of brandy around their collar on duty. That factoid comes from an 1820 painting.

But since these gentle giants are as Swiss as Toblerone, holey cheese and secretive banking, the descendants of the rescuers get their own petting zoo, museum and gift shop. Tearing ourselves away from the puppies getting their first literal taste of snow, I invite seven-year-olds Barry (obviously) and Janga to board. The quantity of hair and slobber deposited means this particular M3 is no longer worth a hundred grand, but two of the world’s largest dogs in one M car is an important parameter to benchmark this four-wheel Swiss army knife. Casual reader, thanks for sticking around. Only TopGear brings you tests this thorough.

Wait, did Ollie go to Switzerland at all or has the whole thing been green screened for budget reasons?

“THERE’S A STRANGE FETISHISATION OF FAST DOG WAGONS”

E T R A VA L U E WHEELS

Fancy some go-faster practicality for the cost of the optional extras on our Swissbound M3 Touring? With a £22,500 budget, we hit the classifieds

Audi RS4 Avant

WHAT TO PAY £18K–£24K

In the mid-Noughties, fast Audis found a purple patch. The RS6 hit on the bi-turbo V8 AWD recipe now favoured by all the big super-saloons, the R8 rewrote the entry level supercar rulebook, and we were treated to possibly the finest driving four-door Audi ever: the second RS4. Its rare late Nineties predecessor used turbocharged V6 power, but the B7 RS4 employed a naturally aspirated 4.2-litre V8, sending 414bhp to all four wheels. Naturally. No S-tronic paddles here, only an absolute peach of a manual. As a package of handling, speed, noise and quality, this is one of the all time great wagons.

WHAT TO WATCH OUT FOR Thieves. RS4s are rare, desirable and pondlife will even try to swipe their handsome alloys or Recaro bucket seats. Insurance might be hefty, so make sure that dog you’re transporting is a faithful sentry.

Alpina B3/D3 Touring

WHAT TO PAY £8K–18K

The E9x-series B3 (petrol) and D3 (diesel) twins were fabulously subtle sped-up expresses which offered a more thoughtful turbocharged alternative to the contemporary high-revving M3 V8. Unfortunately, they’re exceedingly rare.

WHAT TO WATCH OUT FOR Usual BMW N54 engine woes, coked-up engines from urbandwelling cars, and Alpina’s trademark intricately spoked wheels are susceptible to buckling if subjected to pothole abuse.

Seat Leon Cupra ST 300

WHAT TO PAY £18K–£26K

Fast Seats really found their stride with this supermarket own brand Golf R – the spec list held few surprises: 2.0-litre turbo four-cylinder engine good for just shy of 300bhp, a rapid fire DSG and 4WD. But in that strange ghost in the machine way that certain cars just gel into more than the sum of their parts, the Cupra was an unusually peppy bit of kit – lither than the more po-faced Golf, and capable of giant killing pace with the Abt tuning pack added on. Available as a three- or five-door hatchback too, the estate has a certain undercover motorway response unit appeal.

WHAT TO WATCH OUT FOR Beware any hint of DSG clutch slip – a previous owner may have dabbled with the heavy handed launch control. Ask if the water pump has been replaced too – some Cupras have suffered with blockages from anti-corrosion sealant particles.

Mercedes CLS63 AMG Shooting Brake

WHAT TO PAY £22K–£37K

This was one of the final death throes against the inexorable onset of SUV-kind: Mercedes taking the E-Class’s more seductive (and less spacious) CLS cousin, and grafting on an estate rear end. Although a proper five-door (not a strict shooting brake) the result was effortlessly more elegant than an A6 Avant or 5-Series Touring. Plus, because Mercedes couldn’t resist AMG-ing everything (R63 anyone?) it was also treated to two V8s: first the 6.2-litre nat-asp monster, and later the 5.5-litre bi-turbo treatment.

WHAT TO WATCH OUT FOR The engines are bulletproof so long as they’ve not been overtuned, but be vigilant for clunking gearboxes or tired valvetrains on high mileage cars.

The motoring world has lost one of its true greats in Gymkhana pioneer, professional rally driver and all-round hero Ken Block. Chris Harris shares his memories

1967 – 2023

WORDS CHRIS HARRIS ILLUSTRATION THE RED DRESS PHOTOGRAPHY HOONICORN ARCHIVE

A doting dog father, Block was often pictured with his Siberian huskies Yuki and Bentley

“Ken was a visionary,a pioneerandan icon.And most importantly, a father and husband. He will beincredibly missed”

HOONIGAN INDUSTRIES

“What an incredibleperson tolearnfrom, battle with and to admire over the last two decades. Ken’s influence on the automotive world cannot bequantified. In addition to pioneeringa roadmapfor the rest of us to follow in the marketingof motorsport— KenBlockwas, aboveallelse, a devoted familyman”

TANNER FOUST

“Igrewup watchingKen Block,heand theHoonigans shapedmy personalityand interests in cars. The automotive community and world of motorsports arehurting”

KEN BLOCK SUCCEEDED WHERE THE MAJORITY FAILED.

He transformed a trade and reinvented it in his own vision. The evidence is all around us and cemented by the immutable fact that his name and his Gymkhana franchise have become a generic term for any film that eviscerates tyres. Or as he called them, tires.

To most of us Ken just appeared out of nowhere in 2008 sliding a Subaru, but his life was already remarkable. He’d founded DC Shoes with two partners in 1994, sold it to Quiksilver in 2004 and was looking for ways to enjoy himself when he happened across motor cars. A huge rally fan, it quickly transpired that Ken had exceptional car control and so his journey began. But like everything he did, he boxed clever.

Rather than throw money at trying to become the next Loeb, he and some buddies shot a video with his Subaru rally car, adopting the gymkhana name from Japanese autotesting. It exploded on the internet with most established car video makers, myself included, thinking – why the hell didn’t I think of that? Perhaps without realising it Ken and his small team had forever altered the relationship between content, sponsorship and brand advocacy. And like all the most profound changes to established practices, it happened accidentally – with a healthy dose of direction and skill. Next came the follow-up, the cleverly named Gymkhana Two. For many this was the real gamechanger. Remember seeing that Scooby scrunch through the flourescent tubes in slo-mo? Surely that’s the moment when many marketing budgeteers said “I don’t care about print advertising any more, spend what we have being a part of this madness”. And they did.

What most people didn’t know is that Ken won his first North American Rally in 2006 and was known to be very handy behind the wheel. The car control we saw in those first two films made sense to those who knew him,

RYAN VARGAS

but the majority wanted to know how good he really was. It was around this time that I first met Ken –when he was at M Sport to test his new Focus WRC car that he would use for selected rounds of the championship. He was nothing like I’d expected –calmly spoken, modest and a listener. He was also very clear about what he wanted to achieve in a top level rally car – he basically wanted to have fun. He was there with his wingman Brian Scotto, the creative force behind the Gymkhana franchise, and the man often charged with saying things when Ken would rather not. They went on to become a fearsome commercial and artistic partnership.

What he did was turn the sport on its head. There were many negative voices around his involvement in the WRC. Some didn’t like the way he’d bought into a team (that’s the way most motorsport works, it’s for rich people) and the emerging keyboard warrior community said he wasn’t that good behind the wheel. They were of course wrong on the latter, but none of them, including shamefully the FIA, spotted that Ken’s was the most photographed and publicised car on every event. Despite this the Rally Commission never seemed keen to hear his thoughts on how rallying –a sport that was already in trouble back then – might appeal to a younger audience. So Ken competed for a few years, grabbed a notable seventh place finish in Mexico 2013 and then called it a day in 2014.

It’s at this point I should mention the Ford vs Subaru online war, but I can barely bring myself to. Suffice to say, Ken’s switch from Scooby to Ford –where he was deployed as a full-fat brand ambassador – had the partisan car community muttering about him being a Judas. Much of it was unpleasant. The only person who seemed quite unperturbed was Ken. He just let the viewing figures roll in.

By now he was already a star. An appearance on TopGear terrifying James May in 2009 pushed him into the mainstream and the numbers kept increasing.

“I will forever cherish the almost 20yearsof friendshipandfun all over the world wesharedenjoying ourpassions.I will forever be gratefulforthe constantinspiration, opportunitiesand advicethatyou offered.Thank youforwhat youbroughttothe world that created somanysmilesand inspiredmasses”

“Such a talent that did so much foroursport.He wasatruevisionary withhisownunique styleandinfectious smile.Oursportlost one of the best but moreimportantly agreatman”

“I’m devastated tohearofKen Block’spassing. Hewassuch anamazing person,always livedlifeto thefullest. Iremember ourfirst timeworking togetherand howpositivehe was.Somuch talentbehind thewheel.Years agowehadan amazingtime heliskiingand snowboarding inCanada.We heldsomuch respectfor oneanother. Hewilltrulybe missedandmy thoughtsand prayersgoto hisbeautiful family.Gonetoo soon.Restin

VAUGHN GITTIN JR

JENSON BUTTON

peaceKen”

LEWIS HAMILTON

Block appeared in multiple episodes of TG, including scaring the wits out of James May in California

There’s precision driving, there’s millimetre perfect... and then there’s

There was something magnetic about the way Brian and Ken did things. I can’t define or describe exactly what it was, but the effect it had on me was to just want to be there when they filmed. I can remember driving to a disused racetrack south of Paris to see them shoot Gymkhana Three – it might have generated a little story in some magazine, but I just wanted to see it all happen. I became quite protective of people’s criticism of the driving too – knowing what I did about sliding a car, Ken was taking on some very technical challenges and the way he could execute them with very little practice made me realise he was working on a higher level to most of us.

Now the Gymkhana brand was flying, Ken and Brian turned their attention to launching Hoonigan –an apparel movement aimed at the auto community but suffused with some grungy SoCal anarchy. It took a while, but once they found the right voice and content output Hoonigan flew and, again, Ken had another huge commercial success on his hands. More than anyone I’ve met in the world of cars, he seemed to have the Midas touch – everything turned to gold.

On a personal note, he showed me great kindness when I was in a pickle. In 2014 my YouTube funded channel DRIVE was dropped and it left me low and rudderless. He and Brian got in contact and asked me to come over and watch the filming of Gymkhana Seven in Los Angeles, and they’d pay me to make a short film about the new Mustang he’d be driving. They didn’t need me, and they didn’t need to pay me, but it was a shot in the arm that I’ll be forever grateful for. The Hoonicorn went on to become Ken’s most recognisable tyre destruction machine, and in twin-turbo guise flung Matt LeBlanc around London in that amazing TopGear film from 2016.

I think very few people really knew Ken, me included. He was a private man who was completely devoted to his family. A friend of mine who worked with him recently described him as “a real gentleman, but above all he must have been the greatest dad of all time”. And that’s what makes this loss so awful – the car community is in mourning, but all of our thoughts are with his wife Lucy and their children. Ken’s life was lived larger than most and, accordingly, his legacy will endure, much like his hero Colin McRae.

“Ken

“Kenwasa trailblazerin theautomotive industry.When hereleased Gymkhanain 2008hehadthe entireTopGear officewideeyed inamazement.We hadthepleasureto workwithKenon severaloccasions overtheyearsand hiscontributions werealwaysso memorableand excitingforour audience.Wewere honouredtohave hadthechanceto workwithhimand learnfromhim”

ALEX RENTON, EXECUTIVE PRODUCER TOPGEAR

was a visionary, so passionate and inspiring. He knew like no other how to combine motorsport and abigshow.He lived his life to the fullest and I’ll neverforgethis smileandlaugh”

SÉBASTIEN OGIER

THANKS TO RON ZARAS AT HOONIGAN FOR SUPPLYING EXTRA IMAGERY

KEN’S TOP 5 WILDEST BUILDS

As well as a tyre-shredding supremo, Block was a master of the monster build, as the following examples illustrate

GYMKHANA THREE FIESTA

If you’re not as old as us, there’s a fair chance that a Fiesta, not a WRX was the first machine you saw flung about the place as if physics was taking flexi time. In fact, statistically speaking, this is the car you’re most likely to have seen – six appearances in the Gymkhana series, and five where it was the lead, rather than part of an ensemble cast.

HOONICORN

You’ll remember it as the carbon-bodied Mustang that gave Matt LeBlanc a smoky taxi ride around London. In fact, this 845bhp version was just taster of things to come, with a V2 arriving later that Block called “the most frightening thing I’ve even driven.” Yeah, a pair of turbos, methanol injection and 1,400bhp will do that.

HOONITRON

Block joined Audi with the brand on something of an electric kick, with the Hoonitron featuring a twin-motor AWD set-up and a sound eerily reminiscent of the Tamiya cars we had as kids. And probably the same instant-on acceleration. It was proof that how wheels are spun means much less than the fact that wheels are spinning.

HOONITRUCK

The Hoonitruck featured Ford’s 3.5-litre twin turbo, as per the Le Mans-winning Ford GT, making more than 900bhp and 700lb ft. Installed in your average 1977 F-150, this would usually result in a game of Which Bit Will Break First, but the Hoonitruck sidestepped that issue by running a custom 4WD set-up complete with 6spd box.

HOONIPIGASUS

A proper silhouette racecar, based on an old 912, with a livery reminiscent of Porsche’s 917/20 ‘Pink Pig’. But while the Porsche that Block took to Pikes Peak didn’t feature in a Gymkhana video, the specs feel up to par – a mid-mounted flat-six from Porsche’s GT3 R racer, twin-turbocharged to 1,400bhp and powering both axles.

WORDS CRAIG JAMIESON ILLUSTRATION PETER GREENWOOD

U P R I S I N G

The new Honda Civic Type R won our Car of the Year crown last December – barely three months on, it’s already time to defend it

WORDS PAUL HORRELL PHOTOGRAPHY JONNY FLEETWOOD

Just lovely isn’t it? Winter sun caressing Snowdonia hillsides, a soft relief of highlights easing into shadow. Veils of mist in the valleys. Higher up, a crunchy dusting of snow, the foliage wearing a cutting iridescence of hoar frost. In short a perfect day to set off up a footpath, clear the mind and lift the spirits. Not so great for trying to tease out the dynamic differences between five brilliant cars whose abundant power meets slippy roads through the inadequate mediation of wide summer tyres. So for this morning we’ll enjoy the scenery and let the photography happen. The proper driving is for this afternoon and tomorrow, at lower altitudes. I can barely wait to squeeze open the throttles.

Reports of the hot hatch’s death have been exaggerated. The departure of Ford and Renault could easily have struck the species a mortal blow, but the new Civic Type R absolutely sticks to the genre’s rules: front-drive, manual, four-cylinder turbo. You always know that Honda’s Type R badge means a lot more than just a hatch given the once-over with little more than extra power and harder suspension. (Oh and red seatbelts, which we all know are worth a second a mile.)

To list completely the depth and detail of engineering changes in an R versus a standard Civic would take until we’d all grown old. Let’s just call it honourably obsessive.

So any Type R arrives to near-bursting anticipation. Whereas when Hyundai said it was working on a hot hatch version of the i30, most of

us smiled patronisingly, turned away and muttered “yeah right”. There was no history. Yet it was just bang on, first time out. Again, it had gone through its basic hatch’s engineering end to end, and was so confident that it even gave it a five-year warranty that covers track driving. Now it’s facelifted, and adds a performance biased eight-speed DCT option, fitted here, plus usefully more torque, and some extremely light forged wheels. Oh and it’s a Hunnnn-day now, if you please.

The other cars lined up in our Welsh convoy don’t quite fit the hot hatch template. VW will still sell you a 245bhp Golf GTI, but the 329bhp Honda costs a slightly scary £47,000. So we stepped up to four-wheel-driven Golf R. This is a special low-numbers 20th anniversary limited edition, which lifts power to 333bhp, and adds real carbon fibre on the dash as if to emphasise how fake the carbon fibre is elsewhere in the cabin. The 20th edition has the Performance Pack too. That derestricts top speed to 168mph, and adds drift mode software to the torque-vectoring rear halfshaft clutches. Mind you we once had a Golf R with the pack as a long-term test car, at the same time as a Cupra Leon 4Drive estate (longer wheelbase, no vectoring) and I have to say that back to back on the road, the difference was mighty hard to discern.

The GR Yaris, cheapest car here, is even more special than the Honda. For that reason its £36k looks a bargain, once you can look past the dash and back seat – low rent even for a supermini. The GR attracted a cult reputation, and you soon see why. It’s a Yaris only in name and dashboard. The bodyshell is basically bespoke: lightweight metals, carbon-fibre roof, muscly arches and aerodynamically hunched silhouette. The engine, a rather exotically specified ultra-lightweight 1.6 three-cylinder turbo, is wholly unique. Even the platform isn’t what it seems. The GR is about as much Yaris as a Cosworth was Escort.

What’s it doing beside a sophisticated six-cylinder BMW coupe? Most people would be staggered that the M240i xDrive’s base price is £3,000 less than a Civic’s. Even as tested – with a grippier wheelset, adaptive dampers, HUD, full driver assist, high-end sound and more – it still scrapes under the big five-oh. Beyond the Civic Type R it bestows you another litre of engine, two more cylinders and two more driven wheels. But it’s a not-hatch, and lacks that do-it-all basket of talents that have made hot hatches a thing for knocking on 50 years.

Still if you don’t need to put a wardrobe in the boot, it’s an amazingly refined quick car. Especially if you’ve got out of the Toyota.

“REPORTS OF THE HOT HATCH’S DEATH HAVE BEEN EXAGGERATED”

It’s a shortened 440, not an overheated Yaris. You feel its engineering in the thud of the closing door, the leathery soft wrapping of the steely firm interior, the brilliant infotainment.

Start the six-cylinder and it hums like a Welsh male voice choir warming up in the distance. Give it the goading and its note hardens as it sings and zings. It’s a gorgeous mechanism, and its performance figures beat the rest. You’re never caught out because the strength is so evenly spread across the rev range and the auto box so attentive. But because the torque is seldom absent, you feel its presence the less. The performance is ridiculously easy to come by, yet strangely uninvolving. Should I be saying this? It’s not it, it’s me.

The BMW’s steering is autobahn-proof, responding quite slowly around the straight ahead. Then it ramps up its action some degrees off centre. You soon calibrate yourself, but against the perma-sharper action of some of the hatches, it slightly muffles the excitement. The steering is heavily damped too, masking your feel for the front tyres. Which isn’t what I wanted when pushing it into the salty corners. Sport mode sends extra torque to the rear tyres, and if you’re too soon on the throttle out of a greasy bend they’ll spike outward. In that same setting, the traction control sits back and lets it happen, so you’re kept

busy with the steering. This is xDrive pretending it’s RWD. On these greasy roads most of us thought the Sport mode was for advanced students only, and dialled that switch back.

The Golf is another piece of sensible German engineering. VW’s two-litre sends it to 62mph like the clappers, taking advantage of all-wheel traction and the uninterrupted shifts of its DSG auto transmission. The Honda, which has similar power, feels faster beyond say 40mph, but from rest and out of slow corners the VW fusslessly scoots ahead. The Golf shows no torque steer, and until you yobbishly lob it around a tight bend while Drift mode is engaged, its attitude is neutral. The engine note is a little ordinary, unless it’s in the sporty modes, in which case it’s augmented – though not too cartoonishly. Some of our testers called the Golf boring. I’m not so sure; the more I drove it the more it opened up to me its subtle lines of communication. Managing to do that, while being so resistant to other unruliness, is quite a feat, and it makes this a rather wonderful bad weather machine. It’s also, as you’d predict, the car for the long trip home, with its comfy seats and subdued road noise and fabulous headlights. That wellbeing lasts precisely until you accidentally brush your hand against those confounding steering wheel touch sensors. (Don’t tell me to get used

“THE M240i IS A GORGEOUS MECHANISM, AND ITS PERFORMANCE FIGURES BEAT THE REST”

to them: I’ve just finished big mileage in a long-term test ID.4 so equipped and they still drive me bloody bananas.)

So to the very opposite among four-wheel-drive hatches, the Yaris. Let’s get its drawbacks out there shall we. A cramped rear seat, hilariously tiny boot, too small fuel tank, hard plastic trim, loud in all things except the tinny stereo. Still, what a thing. It absolutely bursts with fitness for purpose, which purpose being to rattle down tricky tight roads like a hungry ferret. It changes direction as soon as you think it, and as determinedly as you can imagine. The grip and traction it finds, even in the wet and mud, is amazing. These are the benefits of its lightness – notably less than the 2WD Hyundai and Honda, and 400kg under the BMW. The thrummy, chattery engine is a bit meek til the turbo wakes up at 3,000-odd, and then the noise and the shove slam you like the seventh wave. The ride’s mighty firm at low speed, though once you get moving it breathes a bit, like rally cars do.

Even so, it’s short and you sit high, so there’s lots of sensation of pitch and rock. You’re manically working the gears to keep the engine on song. But despite all the noise and frantic action, it’s faithful. There’s none of the front-drivers’ torque steer, and the brakes are fantastic. Stick it in Sport mode and it has more of a rear torque bias, so you can send

We hardly saw any cars coming the other way all day. Funny that

the back out, but it does it more gracefully than the BMW. Mostly though, it just grips. This car is all about a rocket thrust exit to bends. The Honda is a different proposition, even in the first few yards. At last a Civic’s cabin has a properly orderly set of instruments and infotainment, and a decent air of quality. It’s roomy too. You’re sitting down low, the seats locking you into the heart of the machine. As soon as you move your fingertips the sharpness of its steering strikes you, yet without pointless nervousness at big speed. Compared with the Yaris, on bucking back roads the Civic’s wide track, long wheelbase and low seat give you a surprisingly calm platform to work from. And on any kind of smooth road you can aim it just-so. Through open bends the chassis is just peachy, moving progressively beneath as you guide it around. That said, there’s only so much even the bespoke front suspension linkages can do with all that power via the front wheels. When you’re tracing cambers, longitudinal ridges and uneven grip it does fight you more than the 4WD cars, even when you soften off the adaptive damper setting. So you might have to ease the throttle coming out of those bends.

Anyway, throttle control is another high point. This is a Honda don’t forget. You get strong surge right around the dial, from a prompt pick-up in the twos so you’re never stranded, to a caffeinated rush to seven with a sound pitched to match. The short-throw gearshift is a legend, and the brakes endlessly solid and exact. It makes the Civic a joy whether you’re just stroking it along briskly or have the space, a track likely, to really go for it.

At £10k cheaper even with the DCT, the Hyundai would need a miracle to be anything other than a pale imitation of the Honda. While it doesn’t quite walk on water, it gets close. It’s definitely scrappier when the surface is bumpy, fighting the torque left and right. There’s a little more squidge in its steering and brakes, and a little less acceleration. A little. Honestly if you value correct this car, it’s a standout, because it still has character. It has a more rough hewn bumptious character than the Honda, but it’s still a life affirming driving tool. On day two it was the i30N that was under me as we curled southward on the big wide roads that run southward from Dolgellau across the heart of Wales. The

“THE CIVIC’S SHORTTHROW GEARSHIFT IS A LEGEND, AND THE BRAKES ENDLESSLY SOLID AND EXACT”

Honda has best driving position with its low, well bolstered seats

Yaris somewhat cheap feeling, but fantastically legible analogue dials

BMW oozes German build quality, iDrive control system a touch above

VW plenty comfortable, let down by infotainment and steering controls

Hyundai nails the tech and hardware balance. Common sense galore

All calm on the surface, but underneath a frenzy of aircon controls and touchscreens

BMW gets a taste of its own medicine. Still, only a fool breaks the two-second rule

Massive rear wing detracts drama from the real star item – a rear wiper

This is actually a detuned lawnmower engine, but no one has noticed so far

eloquence and reassurance coming up from its front tyres on those and reassurance up from its front tyres on those damp salted surfaces was just the business salted surfaces was just the business.

Point proved We have a magical group of cars here, but the Point proved. We have a group of cars but the Hyundai cruelly has to fall first because it’s the only one that does has to fall first because it’s the one that does what another does, just not quite as well The rest are unique what another does, just not quite as well. The rest are unique.

The Yaris is mad and wonderful but it’s effectively a two-seater, The Yaris is mad and wonderful but it’s a two-seater, and a noisy tiring one It’s a car for Sunday mornings (even wintry and a noisy tiring one. It’s a car for mornings (even wintry ones), not the all-rounder that the hot hatch rules dictate not the all-rounder that the hot hatch rules dictate.

Even so, I was all set to give the Yaris my win until I abandoned the

Some people, on finding they can afford the BMW instead of a Some on can afford the BMW instead of a hot hatch, are going to be over the moon. The rest of the hot hatch hot hatch, are going to be over the moon. The rest of the hot hatch brigade will find the M240i xDrive a bit too subtle and aloof BMW will find the M240i xDrive a bit too subtle and aloof. BMW has underbaked the frisky engagement It feels too much like the has underbaked the engagement. It feels too much like the bigger BMWs Want an 8-Series at 40 per cent off? This’ll delight you BMWs. Want an 8-Series at 40 per cent off? This’ll you. But if it were me I’d just get a very lightly preloved M340i xDrive

Even so, I was all set to the Yaris my win until I abandoned the rest of the crew in a windswept lay-by with nothing but a few packets of rest of the crew in a with but a few of crisps and went for a last strop down the same road in the Civic I’d been and went for a last strop down the same road in the Civic. I’d been unsure of whether it could be as exhilarating as the Yaris. It could. unsure of whether it could be as as the Yaris. It could.

But if it were me I’d get a very preloved M340i xDrive

Touring and really have a car for all the days. and have a car for all the

If the M240i’s problem is BMW’s dearer cars, the Golf R’s is VW’s

If the M240i’s is BMW’s dearer cars, the Golf R’s is VW’s cheaper one: the GTI Yet even the MkVIII GTI, with the same annoying one: the GTI. Yet even the MkVIII GTI, with the same interface you see here in the R, is proof that we reached peak Golf with interface you see here in the R, is that we reached Golf with the last-gen GTI It was more involving, had more satisfying controls and the GTI. It was more had more controls and was absolutely adorable Today’s generation of R is faster but less lovable was adorable. of R is faster but less lovable.

But also hanging was the question whether this FL5 had quite the But also was the whether this FL5 had the engagement of the old FK8 It’s more refined, and it’s a massive step engagement of the old FK8. It’s more refined, and it’s a massive step ahead in its cabin design But have the edges been rounded off a little? ahead in its cabin design. But have the been rounded off a little? Not when you show it the right road they haven’t The magic is all Not when you show it the right road haven’t. The magic is all there. Most of all, the change is there on the outside. The old one there. Most of all, the is there on the outside. The old one didn’t actually need to look so aggressive; many of the vents were didn’t need to look so many of the vents were false The new one is just as aero-effective but I’m not embarrassed false. The new one is as aero-effective but I’m not embarrassed driving it. The FK8 looked frankly juvenile and made me think I was it. The FK8 looked and made me think I was too old for hot hatches Not the FL5 The hot hatch is alive, and so’s too old for hot hatches. Not the FL5. The hot hatch is and so’s my relationship with it my with it.

WIN

“I WAS ALL SET TO GIVE THE YARIS THE

UNTIL A LAST STROP IN THE CIVIC”

HOT HATCHES

SOURCE CODE

This is the Vision 357, a GT4 RS-based retake on the 356... and Porsche’s 75th birthday present to itself

“THE 2018 RENNDIENST CONCEPT – IT IDEA OF A PORSCHE PEOPLE CARRIER.

Porsche must have registered the number 357 but has never used it. Until now. This is the Vision 357, the latest in a long line of Porsche concepts, this one powerfully invoking the memory of the 356/1 Roadster. That, fact fans, was the first production car to bear the Porsche name, the model that kick-started the whole adventure on 8 June 1948, 75 years ago.

So what is it? It’s primarily Porsche’s birthday present to itself as this important year gets under way. Vision 357 is a mercifully compact, beautifully proportioned little coupe that swerves the retro thing by taking modish design tropes like reductionism and stirring in some emotive historic references. Kind of old and new at the same time and yet neither. Or, as Porsche says, “It’s a look back at the conceptual journey to the future.” Huh?

If you’ve seen the book Porsche Unseen, you’ll already know that the company’s design team are also knowledgeable historians. Design head (and new VW

Group design boss) Michael Mauer is clear about how this works in Weissach. “Would it be better to have a clean sheet and not have any restrictions? No. History gives us orientation... I’d compare it to a compass. It also gives you a brand that stands for certain values. It would be stupid not to build on this, but you have to find the right balance between tradition and innovation, otherwise you won’t be successful in the future.”

There are a few other important things to note here. Peel away that impressively disciplined body and you’ll find the chassis and powertrain of the 718 Cayman GT4 RS, including its magnificent 4.0-litre, 493bhp, six-cylinder engine. Given that Porsche made 77 units of its 911 GT2 RS-based 935 Moby Dick homage back in 2019, we don’t think it’s lunacy to suggest that this one could be headed in the same direction. Porsche has also reissued images of the 2018 Renndienst concept – it means ‘race support’ –which you may remember played with the idea of a Porsche people carrier and the ‘spatial experience’. It had a central

driving seat. Now it’s presented here towing the Vision 357. Stop toying with us and just build them.

“It’s not even really a concept,” Mauer continues. “We were thinking about the 75 years, what the first car was, and then we thought, let’s do something where you could see the connection to the 356 without being too retro. Then we decided to do it on the combustion platform. We had a lot of freedom but the proportions are very close to reality. When we do concepts they have a pretty realistic base, we don’t do them simply for the sake of doing something. So yes, it would be possible.”

Mauer says another part of the Vision 357 creative process was to envisage the sort of car Ferry Porsche might have liked. They’ve been here before. In 1989, the company created an 80th birthday present for Ferry based on the 964-era 911, called the Panamericana. It was engineered by future Aston Martin boss Ulrich Bez, its design overseen by Harm Lagaay, and still looks pretty way out today. There were twin air vents on the engine cover that nodded to the

Headlight perforations echo round lamps on the 356, also double as a cheese grater

MEANS ‘RACE SUPPORT’ – PLAYED WITH THE STOP TOYING WITH US AND JUST BUILD IT”

The 1951 356 SL: one of the super light coupes designed for racing – 45bhp, but 635kg

Leather straps on 356, quick release catches here / No mod cons in 356, just the smell of leather and danger

Confirmation the 357 runs on dino juice / Big downforce at the front, less so at the rear

“THE VISION 357 IS AS WELL INFORMED A REIMAGINING AS YOU’D EXPECT”

356, but as the Panamericana name implied, this thing was a quasi dune buggy. The link now is much more explicit.

Ferry, of course, was the man behind the original 356, and is credited with activating Porsche as we’ve come to know it. Not that the main movers and shakers had been slack before that. His father, Ferdinand Porsche Sr, is one of the greatest automotive engineers of all time. In fact, he was instrumental in a handful of the most significant cars ever made, including the first petrolelectric hybrid, 1901’s Lohner-Porsche, the Mercedes SSK, the epic Auto Union racing cars, and of course the KdF-Wagen that became the Volkswagen Beetle. That’s a whole other, vast story, with the murkiest of roots, but let’s just say it fell to Ferry Porsche to pick up the pieces postwar. Initially, the company fixed cars and made water pumps and lathes. Then Ferry did a deal with former Juventus footballer turned racing driver and entrepreneur

Piero Dusio to build the Porsche Type 360 Cisitalia single seater. Gorgeous and advanced, that was the first car to wear the Porsche badge, but the project stalled.

Still barred from returning to Stuttgart, Ferry set up in Gmünd, Austria and got to work on what would become the 356. That was previewed by the 356/1, considered by some to be an outlier because its air-cooled, flat-four 1.1-litre is mid- rather than rear-engined, as the 356 would soon be. But the shape is there, this most recognisable of design typologies set by long-term Porsche associate, Erwin Komenda, who had joined Ferdinand Sr’s newly established design office in 1931. Komenda was the man who designed the Beetle, and had been formulating the 356 since 1946.

“I saw that if you had enough power in a small car, it is nicer to drive than if you have a big car which is also overpowered,” Ferry Porsche said in a 1972 interview. It took two years to sell 50 cars, but by 1965, when the 356 ceased production, more than 76,000 had been made.

The Vision 357 is as well informed a reimagining as you’d expect. The passenger compartment is narrow and sits inboard, while the windscreen – split on early examples of the original – wraps around the A-pillars so that the glass area resembles a visor. The shoulders are broad, the car less over-bodied than the slightly cuddly 356. There are no door handles; a patterned array of light points by the side windows conceal openers. The original’s engine cooling vents are referenced in the grille pattern in the rear, which run the full length of the car, and the tail-lights are almost invisible until lit.

At the front is a discreet four-point light similar to the motif used by Porsche in its production cars. The 20in wheels are made of magnesium, and use aero efficient carbon-fibre hubcaps with central locks. Racing inspiration is manifest in the jointless bonnet which uses quick-release mechanisms, with threaded rods for the front spoiler. The sills are made of natural fibre reinforced plastic (NFRP), as previously used on the Mission R concept, which partly consists of flax. The exhaust has bluish toned titanium trim but the pipe itself is ceramic. Cameras replace traditional door mirrors. As on the Cayman GT4 RS, there

are air intakes behind the side windows, with ‘air’ decals fixed to them. Porsche nerds will know the company’s rich history in graphics – ever looked at a 908 Bergspyder from above? – and as well as the ‘75’ decals, there’s an ‘e-fuel’ one on the fuel filler flap, and dinosaur decals on the air intakes in front of the rear wheels.

“There was an option to do an EV but we thought combustion was cooler,” Mauer says. “And as this might be the last combustion engine we do, one of the designers did a dinosaur sketch which we turned into a decal.”

Mauer admits that the Vision 357 happened quickly, coming together in barely a year. By going to the source rather than, say, another famous Porsche still in production, they’ve also avoided prompting speculation about what an all-new 911 might look like. Although stand by for another birthday present later in 2023.

“Compared to other companies, we have a more open mindset and a CEO who gives us budget and doesn’t know what he’s going to get at the end of the year,” Mauer says. “Everything is possible. We’re given the freedom without constraints to think about new concepts, to explore ways we might develop our design language. On this car I would refer to the headlights and tail-lights. We always want to integrate elements, and new technology might enable something like this.”

Like we said, just build it...

Ceramic exhausts, titanium finisher, unobtainium concept car?

CONCEPTS THAT TIME FORGOT

VW ECORACER, 2005

It s quite funny to look back at concept cars from, say, the Fifties and snigger at the sort of advanced tech they were hawking “Nuclearpowered family cars,” you guffaw “Not a chance!” And yet even as recently as 2005 the clean diesel engine was the ghost of Christmas future It’s easy to forget that until Volkswagen spiked the punch the low-emission party was fuelled by the stuff from the black pump Parsimonious diesels were all the rage at the time in the Volkswagen Group – Audi had its futuristic A2 hatch and Volkswagen itself had popped the Lupo 3L diesel city car on sale in Germany, so called because of its incredibly impressive three litres per 100km fuel consumption (94mpg) But neither of these was particularly sexy, so it was the job of the EcoRacer concept to titivate the car buying masses with its sharp lines, fancy CFRP bodywork and techy weight reductions

The EcoRacer’s 1 5-litre 4cyl diesel was almost nostalgic for VW – it had engines of that layout in the first-gen Golf and Passat back in the mid-Seventies, while the modern 1 5 teased in the 2005 concept saw action in the MkV Polo and is still around today in a number of models for developing countries Its 1 6-litre replacement, codenamed EA189, would later become famous for some of its sneakier technological innovations

TOP FIVE FRIENDLY LOOKING CARS

Designed to meet kei car regs in Japan, the first-gen Copen arrived complete with a folding hard-top roof and a cartoon smile

Affectionately known as the ‘frogeye’, the MkI Sprite, built between 1958 and 1961, has one of the most recognisable faces ever

The EcoRacer’s 134bhp and 184lb ft of torque might seem like fairly meagre outputs for something with sporting pretensions, but it all makes a bit more sense when you consider that the concept car weighed in at 850kg The 0–62mph run would take 6 2secs and its top speed was 143mph, all while managing an impressive consumption (in the more sedate official lab tests, of course) of 83mpg Now there’s a future we could get behind

The roof provided the real headlinegrabbing hijinks, though – the EcoRacer was a real three-in-one special like a petrol station torch You had your normal coupe as standard, with a breadvan-style roof extension for added aerodynamics That could be removed, if you wanted to put a luggage rack over the bootlid The main roof section was removable to create a roadster, while the windscreen could also be jettisoned in order to create a speedster for the full flies-in-your-teeth experience

The EcoRacer was shuffled off to the great warehouse in the sky and Volkswagen’s tease of a fun to drive, eco-oriented mass production car has never been realised Its XL1 of 2013 was a 0 8-litre diesel-powered PHEV, but at £120,000 that wagen was only for the rich volk Another useful life lesson from concept cars of history – the future might occasionally look bright, but it doesn’t always last for long Sam Burnett

Look at its chubby cheeks! It’s impossible to get road rage with a Panda driver, which is lucky given how they’re often driven in Italy

With its pop-up headlights and soft surfaces, the original NA MX-5 was another bit of friendly Japanese design

We really do need a return to the age of non-aggressive small cars, don’t we? Imagine how happy a city full of MkI Twingos would be...

DAIHATSU COPEN

AUSTIN-HEALEY SPRITE

FIAT PANDA

MAZDA MX-5

RENAULT TWINGO MkI

ICCI’S GARAGE

Ihave a theory that my border collie is powered by an Eighties Atari games console. And not in a way which requires forceps and an emergency vet; but rather he appears to have no memory or save function.

Because despite going out every morning for the past 11 years, at 6:45am a master reset is performed wiping all his previous memory. And, while rebooting, woof.exe is then executed continually until we finally leave the house.

Putting him in the car and driving somewhere new doesn’t fix the error either. However, the rumble of my E63 at 2,100rpm does at least cause him to lay down for a bit, and that allows me to go hunting for dog-spec 4x4s being used out in the wild. The best spot so far being a MkI Mitsubishi Pajero.

Having had no prior experience of any Japanese 4x4, I thought this Pajero was the best thing I’d ever clapped eyes on and immediately vowed to own one. So, for the duration of Christmas, my search history revolved around this or an 80 series Land Cruiser. And as much as I’d love a 60 or 70 series, it appears hipsters have ruined values on the 60s and global conflict the 70s.

There’s something uniquely cool about this era of JDM 4x4. But it’s also a very fine line to tread. For example, a three-door Pajero – unless an Evolution – looks like the kind of car a youth worker converts into a Zombie Apocalypse Vehicle despite living in the middle of Bedford. As for the five-door Wagon, well if that happens

to be a Shogun made after 1995, you’re either very enthusiastic about selling caravans or you ram-raid cash machines at the weekend.

What about something German or closer to home? I haven’t started a towing business since the weight limits changed so a VW Touareg is out the question. And my cholesterol is far too stable to own an early Range Rover currently.

No, it has to be Japanese. It has to be from the Eighties and it has to have a load of badly

translated stickers down the side of it. Bonus points awarded for a spare tyre cover with an 8-bit drawing of some rocky terrain too.

A few days ago, the perfect solution turned up. But this wasn’t a Pajero or Land Cruiser. It was a six-cylinder Nissan, just not an Arabspec Patrol being driven on two wheels. It is two-wheel drive however, and it’s from the Eighties. Yup, I’ve bought the famous offroading Nissan Z31 300ZX.

I had every intention of starting 2023 different from other years, mainly because I now own 10 cars and only three actually work. But this is the danger of forced time off over Christmas, once the festivities are over it is bloody boring. And with my internet cookies firmly set to JDM, project and cheap it was only a matter of time until the inevitable happened.

I have no idea what I’m going to do with this Z31 either, other than use it as a velour-covered soft play for my daughter. I can’t even pretend it was a planned purchase. It can’t even be driven because it lacks a clutch master cylinder.

More annoying than that is the fact I still really want a MkI Pajero Wagon. So, if anyone reading this happens to own one – and has always dreamt of a Z31 project with no clutch – it’s a niche request but please get in contact. I beg of you.

Mark Riccioni

Mark’s new off-road 300ZX not quite so off-roady as he was hoping it would be

Internationally renowned photographer Mark has been working with TG for many, many years. When not taking photos he’s buying inappropriate cars. Here he shares his addiction with the world

31 Mark’s search for a dog-friendly 4x4 has led to... the complete opposite

“I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M GOING TO DO WITH THIS Z31, OTHER THAN USE IT AS SOFT PLAY FOR MY DAUGHTER”

PORSCHE GT3 RS vs PORSCHE GT3 RS

TWO 911s WITH BIG WINGS AND STICKERS. THAT’S PROGRESS?

Don’t judge a car by its decal package. Admittedly, the 2010 997.2 Generation GT3 RS possesses a 3.8-litre flat-six with 444bhp that revs to 8,500rpm while the 2022 equivalent, the 992 GT3 RS, has a 4.0-litre nat-asp flat-six revving to 9,000rpm and produces 518bhp. The newer car is also nearly 100kg heavier. So, not much progress you’d think. But you’d be wrong. In the 12-year gap between these two, Porsche has managed to carve 44secs out of its ’Ring time.

POINT TAKEN. BUT HOW’S IT GOT SO MUCH FASTER?

Well, they both stick steadfastly to Porsche’s GT division’s rulebook of using motorsport as the guiding light for hardcore road cars; with RSes being harder and faster versions of the already hard and fast GT3s. The 992 has just been refined, honed and made a lot more complicated. Especially when it comes to the aero department. You might have noticed the wing but there are also countless flicks and underfloor tunnels to gift the 992 860kg of downforce at 177mph. The 997.2 develops half that at 186mph.

THAT ALL SOUNDS A BIT SERIOUS

A car with DRS and track suspension normally is. Which makes the 997 refreshing. It’s remarkably approachable when put next to the 992. Yes, it’s serious, but simpler. A lot simpler. The steering wheel is clutter free, allowing you to relax as you waggle the

stubby little six-speed gearlever and admire the roll cage filling the rearview mirror. Meanwhile, in the 992, you’re confronted with a high, wide, complicated dash you have to peer over like a dog looking for scraps at a dinner table. There’s no gearstick to waggle either, just PDK shift paddles that snap satisfyingly.

PEOPLE SAY THE 997.2 GT3 RS WAS PEAK RS. IS IT?

Forums argue that the 4.0 may be the pinnacle, but the 3.8-litre is 98 per cent there and far more attainable in the pricey world of Porsche attainability. It’s paired perfectly with a hefty, meaty clutch, graunchy but self-assured gearbox and telepathic steering. You can then use the roll and supple, well damped suspension to lean on the wide, thick, sticky Michelin rubber to maximise the weight and traction over the back axle to throw yourself out a corner and at the horizon to the sound of 8,500rpm.

HANG ON, SO IS THE 992 THE RIGHT KIND OF PROGRESS?

Depends what you’re looking for. If you live for the stopwatch and are a track day fan, hell yes. But it isn’t as usable, having lost its frunk in favour of a racecar radiator, and having had its spring rates wound up, it won’t favour a B-road. The 997 is a joy on the road and where it once was a wide car now it’s suitably slender and narrow compared to the squat prop-like 992. Either way, both cars are going to go down in Porsche history as legends.

The new GT3 RS is the most extreme 911 ever. Time to see if its great grandfather has gone soft

DROP-TOP BMWS

BMW Z3 (1998)

Price now £1,995

Harris says Yes, you really can get a drop-top Ultimate Driving Machine for a four-figure price that starts with a one OK, it’ll have to be a ratty Z3 with the 1 9-litre four-cylinder engine, but who cares?

LESS THAN £2K

#47

RIDGE RACER

ARCADE/PLAYSTATION, 1993

BMW 328i (1999)

Price now £4,500

Harris says This isn’t just any E36 convertible It’s a six-cylinder 328i finished in BMW’s glorious Individual Velvet Blue paint. And yes, we know it’s actually purple, but we’ll forgive BMW here

LESS THAN £5K

BMW M3 (2004)

Price now £9,990

Harris says The cheapest route into M3 ownership in the UK is currently via an E46 convertible, which can be picked up for less than £10k This one is a post-facelift example with 125,000 miles on the clock

LESS THAN £10K

REMEMBERING

RETRO GAMING THE CLASSICS

Careening into arcades in 1993, Ridge Racer had everything: brightly coloured 3D polygons, silky smooth motion and at least one bona fide ridge on which to race. Usually found parked cheek by jowl with Sega’s Daytona USA machine, these two spectacular racing games vied for your precious pocket money throughout the Nineties.

Of the two, Ridge Racer was arguably the more shallow experience, with a more simplistic handling model and, at least in this first incarnation, no multiplayer. If you were a 10-year-old who could barely reach the pedals in the arcade cabinet though, this meant it was far easier to pick up and play. A mere stab of the brake pedal and yank of the wheel would initiate an enormous, tyre-torturing slide. The only bigger drift is continental drift.

While there was only a single circuit to master in this first game, with a couple of layouts, the track was a highly compressed roadtrip that took in a densely packed metropolis, a dramatic canyon suspension bridge and an idyllic beachside resort.

Two years later, the PlayStation release of the game was a respectable conversion, earning Ridge a whole new legion of fans. It probably helped that the notoriously awful Sega Saturn version of Daytona, which arrived around the same time, was about as faithful as a Love Island contestant.

Neither of these were the ideal way to play Ridge Racer, though. That honour went to the vanishingly rare Ridge Racer Full Scale arcade machine, which allowed you to play the game on an enormous 10-foot screen from behind the wheel of a full-sized Mazda MX-5, complete with working ignition key and gauges. Apparently one of those set-ups would have cost you around £150,000 back in 1993, close to twice that in today’s money. And then you’d have to work out how to fit it through the front door...

Mike Channell

TOPGEAR ’S LONG-TERM CARS. TESTED & VERIFIED

CitroenC5XHybrid

HELLO

£40,155 OTR/£42,985 as tested/£705pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Has the world finally come round to a non-sporty large French car?

DRIVER

Jason Barlow

THE C5 X MAY BE CHANNELLING ELEMENTS OF THE CX, XM AND THE late, almost entirely unlamented C6, but it’s also trying something different. It’s not an estate, a crossover or an SUV, but has shoved all three in a giant, car-sized blender. However, this sort of cross-pollination can be problematic: none of the BMW 5-Series GT, Vauxhall Signum or Audi A6 Allroad set the charts aflame, and the Volvo V90 Cross Country remains a minority player.

The C5 X goes further. Its difference extends to a rejection of any overt sportiness: design, comfort, and onboard wellbeing are its key characteristics. This probably isn’t as nuts as it sounds, for while these might not be particularly disruptive, they’re also resonant in 2023. I no longer drive everywhere on the doorhandles, and most of us spend most of the time ensnared in traffic or wondering if we need to take out a mortgage to pay for a tank of fuel. I go to the gym and theoretically have a lifestyle, but my back also hurts. A large, softly sprung Citroen that isn’t an SUV sounds very tempting.

A hybrid one, too. The C5 X is available powered by the group’s familiar 128bhp, 1.2-litre Puretech three-cylinder or the 178bhp 1.6-litre four. TG’s is the 225 e-EAT8 PHEV, which adds a 109bhp electric motor to that engine for a total power output of 222bhp. There’s a 12.4kWh battery pack in the boot which charges in about 90 minutes on a domestic 7.4kW wallbox. Citroen claims an electric range of 37 miles fully charged, more than enough to handle

the average driver’s daily mileage (but adds 304kg to the base car’s weight). Fuel economy, emissions and BiK are all obviously optimised in this configuration, but we’ll see how it goes in reality. As ever.

Ours is the top spec Shine Plus. In contrast to recent German lifers, there are only a few options: I could live without the black bi-tone roof (£350) and panoramic roof (£1,300), but reckon the memory foam massage seats (£800) are worth the outlay. Set the controls for maximum waft.

SPECIFICATION

1598cc 4cyl hybrid, FWD, 222bhp, 184lb ft

186mpg, 30g/km CO2

0–62mph in 7.9secs, 145mph

1,826kg

MILEAGE: 5,780 OUR MPG: 40.3

GOOD STUFF

Unusual design, comfortable ride and interior.

BAD STUFF

The jury’s out on how useful the hybrid tech really is, HMI is imperfect.

Mazda CX-60

HELLO

£49,520 OTR/£53,270 as tested/£649pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Can Mazda join the large/luxe SUV party?

DRIVER

Andy Franklin

SO HERE IS MAZDA’S FIRST PLUG-IN HYBRID. AN ODD SENTENCE TO write in 2023 given how popular electrification is across the car industry. Is the Japanese carmaker dragging its heels or just waiting to get it right?

There’s one area where there’s no messing around, and that’s targeting BMW. The CX-60 clearly has its eye on taking some of the market away from the BMW X3. If it was based just on looks alone, Mazda would be winning. I hope the driving experience lives up to the same level.

Under the bonnet there’s a four-pot naturally aspirated 2.5-litre engine, 173bhp e-motor and a 17.8kWh battery that give a combined power output of 323bhp and manage 0–62mph in 5.8secs and and a claimed 39 miles of battery range. There’s three trim levels to choose from: Exclusive-Line, Homura and Takumi. We’ve opted for the latter in stylish Platinum Quartz. Takumi means ‘artisan’ in Japanese, fitting for TG’s creative director. It’s almost Bentley and Range Rover like inside. Prices start at £42,990 but this one is £49,520 on the road, with 20in black metallic alloys and a 12-speaker Bose surround sound set-up. With the added extras on our car, which includes the fancy paint (£650), convenience pack (£1k), driver assistance pack (£1k) and panoramic sunroof (£1k), the total is £53,270.

We’ll aim to try the Exclusive-Line at some point to see if it was really worth going for the range-topper. And we’ll throw in a BMW for fun too.

Inside the Seventies-style beige, maple and chrome interior are plenty of buttons, which we’re happy about. I’m interested to see how the light interior copes when it has three kids thrown at it.

I’ve got high hopes for this car now I’ve seen it in the flesh – the pics don’t do it justice. It’s massive, stylish and certainly more premium than previous Mazdas. But... and it’s a big but, something isn’t right so it’s having to go back to Mazda. Oh dear. More on that next month.

SPECIFICATION GOOD STUFF

The exterior design is very sleek and the dashboard has actual buttons on it.

BAD STUFF

MILEAGE: 3,411 OUR MPG: 33.2

The engine is quite noisy and screams too much.

188.3mpg, 33g/km CO2

2488cc 4cyl plug-in hybrid, AWD, 323bhp, 369lb ft

2,146kg

0–62mph in 5.8secs, 124mph

DaciaJogger

GOODBYE

£18,745 OTR/£19,640 as tested/£313 pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Can the cheapest MPV cut the TopGear mustard?

DRIVER

Sam Philip

SEVEN MONTHS INTO JOGGER CUSTODIANSHIP, AND I’VE BARELY discussed the way it drives. Because it’s anonymously dull and acceptable, right? In fact, no. To drive, the Jogger is actually rather better than that. Might seem an insane thing to say about a seven-seat boxy MPV, but it’s bordering on... fun?

Genuinely. Despite its small-shipping-container dimensions, when the Jogger’s presented with a decent stretch of road, and an absence of bilious children in the back seat, it squirrels along with surprising enthusiasm, at least by people carrier standards.

It’s just another thing I’ll miss about the big brown beast, as its time on the TG fleet has come to an end. I am genuinely bereft. I love a 600 horsepower German ur-estate as much as the next Mantafahrer, but I’d quite happily have bimbled around in this Jogger for the next decade or so. In fact, I asked Dacia if I could buy it off them rather than hand it back, but annoyingly the residuals were so solid that the asking price was just a little strong for me.

Frankly I’m gutted. If you can see past the low Euro NCAP figure – and as I’ve explained elsewhere, there are plenty of reasons to, at the very least, dig a little deeper than the headline one-star score –this is a huge amount of honest, useful car for the cash.

So, as it leaves us, here’s my grand departing thought: the Jogger might be the best car I’ve driven in a decade. Not the fastest, obviously. Not the most exciting. Not even the most practical and comfortable for a family and all their kit. But in terms of utterly nailing its brief –to offer an absolute mass of unpretentious space and practicality for very sensible money – I can’t think of a better brief-nailer, as it were. Top car. Top work, Dacia.

SPECIFICATION

GOOD STUFF

3cyl turbo, FWD, 109bhp, 148lb ft

ALPINEA110S REPORT 6

£60,645/£71,689/£749

WHY IT’S HERE

Does the concept of a lightweight dissolve on contact with Real Life?

DRIVER

Ollie Marriage

IT’S ALWAYS FUN TO UNPICK little stories with cars. This one concerns the £552 Focal hi-fi.

Speaker cones (the part that vibrates to make the noise) are normally made of plastic, paper, aluminium or manmade Aramid fibres (often used in body armour). A few years ago Focal started using flax. Flax is made from the stalks of linseed (treated another way it’s what we know as linen).

There are several advantages with this, some environmental, some technical: rigidity and damping. Both are crucial to accurate sound reproduction as you need to minimise unwanted vibrations. Flax excels in this. Yes, Focal sandwiches it with skinny layers of fibreglass, but the result is as well damped as Kevlar or aluminium and half the weight of full fibreglass. And less weight means less energy to make them move, and less inertia to make them stop moving.

In other words, they accelerate and brake well and they’re efficient – a nice parallel with the car itself.

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

This month: weatherunproofed tech

Ollie Kew

Ah, a quattro-drive

Audi. The ultimate, unflappable winter weapon, surely? Well, not if you’d like any driver assistance technology, it seems. Certain cars’ tech seems to suffer more than others when it gets grimy: Teslas are hopeless despite all the ‘drives itself’ schtick, and the VW Group is also pretty susceptible. Every journey in the S3 at the moment is begun with multiple bongs warning me the parking sensors, radar cruise control, matrix beam headlights and anti-collision auto braking are all out of action due to grotty sensors. Has cold weather testing really not nipped this in the bud yet? That’s thousands of pounds worth of optional tech rendered obsolete by some dirty salt. Self-driving cars this decade? Don’t bet on it.

Vauxhall Astra

HELLO

£28,710 OTR/£29,310 as tested/£409 pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Does the sharp-suited new Astra prove you don’t need that SUV?

DRIVER

Sam Philip

REALISED SOMETHING THE OTHER DAY. IN TWO DECADES OF DRIVING and owning cars of varying decrepitude/sensibleness, I’ve never genuinely considered purchasing a Vauxhall. Maybe it’s me rather than the cars, but I’ve never found Vauxhalls have nailed the sensible-yet-interesting conundrum with the same regularity as, say, Ford.

But with Ford apparently scarpering out of the regular hatchback segment as fast as its spangly new crossovers will carry it, that leaves a neat space for Vauxhall – with its recently rediscovered sense of style – to fill.

And on the face of it, the new Astra looks just the ticket. For starters, it is a proper, trad hatchback: no pretensions at crossoveriness or sportful utility here, just a classic, regular-roofline five-door. This is a good thing.

It also looks, to these eyes at least, pretty tidy. I’m not sure the ‘Vulcan Grey’ paint of our test car (£600) shows off the Astra’s sharp lines to quite the same effect as the lovely ‘Electric Yellow’ signature colour (£700), but does lend it a faintly DeLorean design vibe from some angles.

Which, again, is a good thing. We’re hardly in a golden era for hatch design right now – the Focus and Leon have gone frumpier than they once were, the Golf looks like... a Golf – so it’s good to see Vauxhall (and sister brand Peugeot) flying the flag for a bit of styling vim in the segment.

Without putting too much weight on the Astra’s smartly creased shoulders, it feels this car (not BP22 EXJ specifically) has a responsibility greater than merely elbowing Vauxhall towards the top of the C-segment hatchback class. Instead, in the face of an SUV/crossover onslaught, it feels like something of a referendum on the future of the humble hatchback itself. TG likes a humble hatchback. Don’t let us down, Astra...

SPECIFICATION GOOD STUFF

50.4mpg, 127g/km CO2

0–62mph in 9.7secs, 130mph

1199cc 3cyl turbo, FWD, 128bhp, 169lb ft 1,296g

Arrived with a couple of thousand miles on the clock, so no need to run it in.

BAD STUFF

Vulcan Grey paint shows up all the mucky wintery road salt. Gonna be tough to keep clean. MILEAGE: 2,550 OUR MPG: 42.3

WHAT ELSE WE’RE RUNNING

RENAULTMEGANEE-TECH

My first proper range test, that cold night of the EnglandFrance World Cup game, was 140 miles, or 2 7mpkWh That was a mixed route of urban, motorway and country lanes Now the weather’s back to 6–8°C, I’m getting about 180 miles, even on a regular trip that’s nearly three-quarters open motorway Renault’s engineers predict that’ll improve by at least another 20 miles in warmer temps PH

CUPRABORN

The Born still has a little way to go before it gets the TG seal of approval as a sporty hatchback EV There’s a lot to like (as explained in further detail on topgear com), and it’s 10 times more satisfying than the VW ID 3, but it needs some more depth to the experience Interestingly, the Renault Megane E-Tech feels more hot hatchy even though it’s FWD, simply because it’s a good deal lighter and more nimble TF

HondaCivic REPORT 3

WHY IT’S HERE

Maybe the best family hatch – just as everyone stops buying hatches

THE HONDA CIVIC eHEV IS ANNOYING. AROUND 90 MILES INTO A 250mile journey up to the Lake District, it begins to rain. Barring the odd maniac who uses the grubby weather as an excuse to deploy more of their excessively powered car’s excessive power (yes, don’t say it, we know), the rest of the motorway instinctively slows down.

Grubby’s the right word. It’s the sort of rain that smears rather than runs, and we slow increasingly in the Honda because the wipers are having a hard time clearing the sludge from the windscreen. It gets harder to see. Fortuitously, a service station beckons, so we make a quick pitstop to a) refresh the dire state of our sweet inventory and b) top up the washer fluid.

We pull up to an empty space. The bonnet is popped. Anticipation builds. And then... I am entirely flummoxed. I think I know my way round an engine bay (having buried myself in many old ones attempting to fix various mechanical ailments over the years), but for the life of me I cannot find the washer fluid reservoir.

A full five minutes passes, which is longer than it sounds when you have a) increasingly darkening skies above and b) an increasingly whiny golden retriever who now needs to be let out for another investigation of the car park.

Finally, something catches my eye. There’s a small blue cap poking surreptitiously from the (also blue) front wing. Relief swells, we reinsert the retriever, buy more sweets just in case, and are off again. So why annoying, then? Because on a 250-mile drive, that’s the only complaint, and when the only complaint is “I’m too stupid to find the washer fluid reservoir”, it’s amplified.

Cost of living crisis, eh? Carmakers aren’t immune Word is Audi’s mulling a shift away from volume sales and eyeing fatter profits That means killing small, thin-margin cars like the A1 and Q2, with the A3 becoming the entry level Audi But does the A3 still feel sufficiently premium inside? I’m convinced the current cabin is a downgrade from the old model. Head over to TG.com for a deeper dive... OK

SPECIFICATION GOOD STUFF

£32,995 OTR/£33,820 as tested/£410 pcm

Vijay Pattni

1993cc 4cyl turbo hybrid, FWD, 181bhp, 232lb ft

VolkswagenMultivan

HELLO

£59,545 OTR/£65,521 as tested/£665pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Is this the SUV antidote you never knew you needed?

DRIVER

Peter Rawlins

THE VW MULTIVAN’S ARRIVAL TO THE TOPGEARGARAGE COULDN’T have been better timed for me, the day before I was due to head to Cornwall for a Christmas getaway – mum, brothers, partners, dog and all our luggage in tow. Hardly the gentlest of introductions, then.

Despite its name, the Multivan is actually not a van, instead sharing the same platform as its VW car counterparts. Ours is the plug-in hybrid and mates a 1.4-litre petrol engine with 114bhp e-motor and 13kWh battery, for a combined total of 215bhp and up to 31 miles of e-range.

First up was the 276-mile journey there. It’s an easy thing to drive thanks to light steering and well weighted pedals, although there is a fair amount of road noise at higher speeds. Not enough to deter my not-quitefinished-for-Christmas-yet passengers from making conference calls along the way, mind. “It’s like a spaceship,” they agreed, praising the armchair-like seating, individual climate controls, USB ports on every row and height adjustable centre console complete with cupholders and fold out tables. It feels far better thought out than the ID.Buzz.

Over the next five days, we did a further 300 miles travelling around Cornwall, where it quickly became apparent just how popular VW vans are round these parts. Caddys, Californias, Caravelles – they’re everywhere, which meant the Multivan got plenty of attention. But

spend a week with one and it isn’t hard to see why, with the Multivan simply taking the hassle out of every journey. Particularly so heading home, when the five-hour journey predictably ended up taking seven.

For a trip like this, it’s hard to argue against the Multivan. It proved the perfect companion over the course of nearly 850 miles, as easy to drive as anything else out there while also impressively comfortable, spacious and practical. Now let’s see how it copes with day to day life.

VolvoXC40Recharge

REPORT 2

£45,750 OTR/£48,085 as tested/£761pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Is this electrified crossover as good as a bespoke EV from Polestar? DRIVER Jack Rix

WHEN IT CAME TO DIVVYING UP THE M8 AND XC40 FOR CHRISTMAS it was inevitable that papa here was going to end up with the sensible, beige Volvo, while Rowan – being young and child-free – was destined to zing about in the Beemer. And I’m OK with that; for haulage of family and sacks of presents, plus round trips to my parents and the in-laws it was just as a Volvo should be – rock solid, quietly capable and every journey, except for two screaming over-sugared children, was stress free.

This could have been so different, because if I’m honest the range of the XC40 is way off the pace. I saw a 160-mile estimated range from a full charge one averagely chilly morning – over 100 miles down on the WLTP figure. For a premium, near-£50k SUV, that’s not enough.

Volvo knows this because as I type an updated XC40 Recharge has been announced. The big news is the single motor version is now rear- not front-drive like ours. And despite the battery staying at 67kWh, improved efficiency means WLTP range jumps to 286 miles, which is a bit more like it. More interesting than that is a new long range, single motor version with a more powerful 248bhp motor and a bigger 82kWh battery for a claimed range of 320 miles, which finally feels like the numbers this car deserves.

Because range aside the driving experience is really nicely judged – well damped suspension and steering, armchair comfortable seats, a cocoon

from the outside world. At first I recoiled from the overly aggressive regen mode, but now I’m a big fan – you can feather out some of the ferocity by not lifting off completely, but it brings you to a complete stop when you need to. Proper one-pedal driving. But there are signs all over that this is an ageing car, and an EV retrofit on a combustion engine platform. The lack of a flat floor across the front, the lack of a front trunk, that range, the absence of wireless CarPlay.

SPECIFICATION

GOOD STUFF

The

BAD STUFF

looks and feels nice

BMWM8

REPORT 3

£129,750 OTR/£150,050 as tested/£3,272pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Can the most powerful M car be a proper luxury car? DRIVER

Rowan Horncastle

See, being a big, long barge, the folks at M have worked hard to make the car as agile as possible. So they’ve stiffened it up to make it sporty. But to do so they’ve added a few metallic corsets to make sure its 1,975kg muffin top doesn’t fall out. Compared to a standard 8-Series, there’s M-specific forged links, improved rigidity in the anti-roll bars, the front end has increased torsional strength courtesy of a tower-to-bulkhead strut and an exceptionally rigid shear panel. More than that, there’s a full-on steel X-brace and an aluminium transverse strut. Long story short: it’s stiff.

But having just returned from two weeks driving on African washboard roads with only archaic leaf springs (laminated sheets of steel stapled together and damped with half an old pogo stick as a shock absorber) to ease the ride, the 8-Series feels softer than ever thanks to some airy suspension sophistication. Yes, it’s still jiggly but boy it’s better than cart springs that Buckaroo you over a speed bump. It also looks better than ever (I’m really starting to dig the design) and feels more luxurious.

SPECIFICATION GOOD STUFF

153g/km CO2

MILEAGE: 3,900 OUR MPG: 21.0 0–62mph

The M8’s menacing looks and sporty luxo charm are slowly winning us over.

BAD STUFF

in 4.2secs, 155mph

EVER SINCE THE M8 COMPETITION ARRIVED IN THE TGG THREE MONTHS ago, everyone who has driven it has struggled to work out if it’s more of a performance car or luxury car because it’s trying to do both. At the same time. And three months in... we still can’t work out which one it’s better at.

DS 9

GOODBYE

£46,100 OTR/£50,415 as tested/£686 pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Can a luxury French car cut it against its established rivals?

DRIVER

Esther Neve

TALKING TO STRANGERS IN SUPERMARKET CAR PARKS HAS BECOME pretty standard for me since I began working at TG. [Oo-er! ed] New motors attract car people as surely as moths are drawn to a flame. My most recent encounter was with a father and son interested in whether the DS would be a good replacement for the dad’s company Mercedes. They both loved the way the DS looked, the uniqueness of the offering and the fact the 9 remains pleasingly rare. They were in no doubt at all that the DS was more than equal to the Mercedes they had just jumped out of – a resounding endorsement that answers our question above.

I share their joy regarding the DS 9. And if you’re choosing it as a company car, then happily you’re not even remotely worried about the elephant in the room regards large luxury French saloons... depreciation. Frighteningly, CAP says the DS 9 can expect to retain approximately 30–40 per cent of its original value after two and a half to three years (and that’s only if you’re covering 10,000 or under miles per annum)... one to lease rather than buy, we would suggest.

Presuming you’re still keen, let’s celebrate the DS’s many successes during its time in our care. Point one: its amazingly smooth and wafty ride. The road reading technology that talks to the suspension is pure gold. Point two: ease of use. Everything is easily to hand and usable.

Yes, there’s a touchscreen, but also actual buttons for shortcuts, hurrah. Point three: practicality. Yes, really. OK, so a huge box will not fit in the boot, but the space available is massive if your load is the right shape. Point four: coolness. No one had a bad word to say regards the DS’s looks or interior design. Enough said.

However, whether buying one with your money is a wise move is debatable. Lease one happily, buy one with caution.

SPECIFICATION

GOOD STUFF

Comfortable and luxurious, great, wafty ride and very relaxing to drive.

BAD STUFF

Bootspace slightly compromised due to saloon shape, depreciation.

176.0mpg, 35g/km CO2

1598cc 4cyl turbo + e-motor, FWD, 222bhp, 266lb ft 1,839kg

0–62mph in 8.3secs, 149mph

EXHAUST

BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO LAND ROVER

From greatest hits to lowest moments, everything you ever wanted to know... and a fair bit you didn’t

WORDS SAM BURNETT, OLLIE MARRIAGE, GREG POTTS

What is Land Rover and when did it start making cars?

Soon after WW2, two brothers who worked at Rover identified the need for a rugged vehicle for agricultural use. Luckily they were in a position to make this happen, since Maurice Wilks was chief designer at the firm and his brother Spencer was managing director.

Influenced by the Willys jeep, they built a prototype in 1947 (which itself used Willys underpinnings) at Maurice’s farm on Anglesey

in North Wales, and launched the first Land Rover in 1948. Those first cars came in any colour you wanted, as long it was a fetching army surplus green.

Land Rover was purely a model name for the next 30 years, and it wasn’t until the 1958 Series II that the Series I was retrofitted with a proper name. Surprisingly it was 1978 before the profitable Land Rover became a separate

company in its own right, although it still sat under the voluminous British Leyland umbrella.

When that company was broken up and privatised in 1988 LR remained with the Rover Group, which was sold to BMW in 1994. The Germans split the company off further, selling Land Rover to Ford in 2001. Jaguar and Land Rover were then parcelled off together to Indian manufacturer Tata Motors in 2008.

Land Rover’s greatest hits

Land Rover Series I

What else could kick off this list? The very first Land Rover arrived in 1948 as a utilitarian 4x4 for postwar Britain

In production for 10 years, the Series I originally used the 1 6-litre 50bhp petrol engine and gearbox from a Rover P3 and the roof was an optional extra

Centre Steer

Before the first production Land Rover came the Centre Steer. This was Maurice Wilks’ first prototype as he developed his idea for a Willys-style agricultural workhorse

The centrally mounted wheel was inspired by the humble farmyard tractor

Land Rover Defender Works V8

Despite having already announced the end of classic Defender production, Land Rover returned to its icon in 2018, celebrating the car’s 70th birthday by fitting 150 examples with a 400bhp 5 0-litre V8 and an 8spd ZF automatic gearbox Chaos ensued

Range Rover Classic

The original Range Rover was launched in 1970 and arguably invented the SUV segment as we know it today Conceived as a larger and more liveable Land Rover, it was developed under the secret codename ‘Velar’ It was only available with three doors until 1981

Land Rover Discovery 3

When the Discovery 3 first broke cover in April 2004 it was immediately clear that the Disco nameplate was about to take a major step forward. A hugely versatile car, the 3 was practical, mega off-road and good-looking too, while families liked the improved quality

New Land Rover Defender

It may have been unveiled back in 2019, but this will always be the ‘new’ Land Rover Defender to us What a thing it is, though, faced with huge expectation. With modern-yet-classic styling and huge off-road ability, the revamped Defender won our prestigious Car of the Year gong in 2020

Range Rover L460

The L460 has essentially completed the Range Rover’s transition to full luxury car Unveiled in 2021, it features sleek surfaces, big touchscreens and even bigger price tags

The entry level SE trim now starts at £99,375, but the LWB SV model slips easily past £170k

Land Rover City Cab

The 1995 film Judge Dredd may have a truly dreadful Rotten Tomatoes rating of just 22 per cent, but it did give us the Land Rover City Cab – a futuristic taxi for a dystopian future where Land Rover is the only carmaker left on Earth Nice to know that LR is still going strong in 2139

SAS ‘Pink Panther’ Series 2A

In the Sixties, the SAS commissioned 72 Land Rover Series 2As to replace their WW2-era American jeeps They were converted to full military spec by Marshalls of Cambridge, before being painted baby pink for behindenemy-lines operations in the deserts of Oman

Land

The Land Rover brand has moved itself inexorably upmarket in recent years to try and lift itself above the fray, but you can get yourself into one for less than you might think. The Evoque range starts at £34,010 for the base model, which comes with LED headlights, a 10in infotainment touchscreen, heated front seats and smartphone integration. Likewise, the cheapest Discovery Sport is a mere £400 more than that.

The fancy pants new Range Rover is the most expensive car the company sells, with the SV model starting at £171,575. For that you get a bespoke bodykit, 22in wheels, posh seats, air suspension and 13.1in rear seat entertainment screens to keep whoever is in the back amused. If you’re still not happy, Land Rover’s Special Vehicle Operations division will help you realise your Range Rover dream in return for much cash.

FACTOID

The first pre-prod Range Rovers built for testing the new car out were actually badged Velars. The team putting everything together needed to throw the spy snappers hiding in the bushes off the scent, but they could only choose from the selection of letters that make up Alvis and Rover. The Spanish verb velar means to mask or veil, and the subterfuge even went so far as registering a company in London to throw people off the scent.

What is Land Rover’s fastest car?

Speed is not really a key attribute. But then in 2015 along came the Range Rover Sport SVR, powered by a supercharged 5.0-litre V8 with 542bhp (recently enhanced to develop 567bhp). It’s capable of 174mph and

makes a sound that can be heard across entire mountainsides. Particularly those around the Nürburgring, where the car lapped in 8mins 14secs.

That model is no longer on sale, though, so the fastest

Land Rover currently is the new Range Rover Sport Autobiography PHEV, which does 0–62mph in 5.4secs and on to 150mph.

There’s another way of looking at speed though –competition. Rallying’s

toughest event is the Paris-Dakar race, which first ran back in 1979. And what was the car that won it? That’s right, a Range Rover. Having said that, we’ll ignore the fact it was driven and run by a French team.

What’s the cheapest car that

Rover builds... and what’s the most expensive?

h t’s t e chea e t

NOTABLE PEOPLE

Where are Land Rovers built and how many are sold a year?

Land Rover’s spiritual home is in Solihull, West Midlands, birthplace of Jasper Carrott and Richard Hammond. The firm still builds the Range Rover, RR Sport and Velar at its original factory location, while the Discovery Sport and Evoque are put together at Halewood in Merseyside at a Ford-owned facility. Those last two are also manufactured at plants in Brazil, India and China. The Discovery and new Defender are made at a plant in Slovakia that opened in 2018. Land Rover sold 269,120 cars in 2022, down a whopping 19.6 per cent on the previous year and well below the firm’s 2016 high of 435,000 sales. The Defender was the only model to increase its year-on-year sales, overtaking the Evoque as most popular model.

What’s the best concept that Land Rover has made?

The only reasonable answer here is the Range Stormer concept, which was shown at the 2004 Detroit motor show. It previewed the Range Rover Sport, which launched a year later, but also heralded the beginning of Land Rover’s expansion into new territory. The rakish three-door SUV was powered by a 370bhp

V8 and designed to tackle the Porsche Cayenne. There was no doubt it would make production in some guise, nor that it would fundamentally give Land Rover a new, more dynamic avenue of attack. The finished article didn’t have three doors and it wasn’t quite as sporty, but the marker had been set.

Ratan Tata Indian billionaire has provided the stability and cash that LR has needed

Spencer Wilks Rover MD (and Maurice’s brother) signed off on the Land Rover marque in 1947

Spen King Brains behind Range Rover was Rover’s chief engineer of new vehicle projects

Maurice Wilks Rover’s chief engineer inspired by Willys jeep to create the Land Rover

Gerry McGovern Current chief designer has defined company’s modern era with new money appeal

What was Land Rover’s best moment?

It’s rare that a carmaker can get involved with an event it becomes so intrinsically linked with that it might as well have come up with the idea in the first place. But the Camel Trophy, an exploration event that started in 1980, began using Jeeps but switched to Land Rovers after a year and stuck with them until the camels called it a day in 2000 after 20 years.

The extreme test saw cars driving through the jungles of Borneo, surviving in Siberia or the Australian outback, or tackling the Amazon rainforest. A competition at heart, as a marketing tool for Land Rover it did more than anything else to establish the firm’s reputation for ruggedness.

After the Camel Trophy had run its course, Land Rover set up a similar contest, called the G4 Challenge, which ran for the next decade. The 2003 winner, a Belgian fighter pilot called Rudi Thoelen, rejected the first prize of a brand new Range Rover and got two Defenders.

What was Land Rover’s worst moment?

We don’t want to be too on the nose here, but Land Rover has actually had a rough ride in recent years. Sales have slumped amid the perfect storm of Brexit uncertainty, a downturn in demand in China (that companies like Jaguar Land Rover and McLaren had really started to rely on) and the slump in diesel sales. Throw in the need for a nimble pivot to electric propulsion and the lack of spare cash for R&D and the writing is on the wall. Or at least it’s being written.

In 2018 JLR cut 1,500 jobs, in early 2019 a further 5,000 from its UK workforce and in 2021 announced thousands more. Even worse, CEO Thierry Bolloré – a big hire from Renault – quit at the end of 2022 after just two years in the job. It’s telling that the interim CEO is the company accountant, but where next? Seems like the best thing would be for Tata to sell up... hey, Stellantis hasn’t bought anything this week.

1948

Land Rover was just a model name until someone realised it was actually making money

What was Land Rover’s biggest surprise?

We all know that Land Rover invented the premium SUV as we know it when it came up with the fancy new Range Rover in 1969... but it might come as a surprise to find out that parent company Rover almost invented the SUV a full 20 years earlier.

Rover engineer Gordon Bashford came up with all sorts of crazy ideas over the years – he worked on the original Series I, Rover SD1 and Range Rover, but around 1951 he came up with an idea for a Land Rover-based rear-drive family wagon that looks to our modern eyes like an SUV.

The Road Rover was sleeker and less utilitarian than the 4x4, but the company had greater priorities for research and development time (like gas turbine engines). The project was almost given a green light in 1958, but was canned at the last minute. Fortunately the whole idea was kept on the back burner long enough to turn into the Range Rover by the mid-Sixties.

1968

“Just put the words ‘Land’ and ‘Rover’ in a shape and put it on a badge. Don’t call me again”

1978

Scandal in the late Seventies as the LR badge went green to match owners’ wellies

1986

The latest logo has been around so long that the chrome effect is fashionable again

What’s the most Land Rover car in the back catalogue?

Land Rover 90/110 / 1983–1990

Like a British television show, the original Land Rover could only manage three series before it bowed out gracefully to be replaced by a reboot with fresher switchgear that would polarise the hardcore fans. You know, the same people who confuse poor build quality with character.

The new Defender might make people even more furious, but it’s the logical extrusion of the car’s story that started post-WW2 in extreme utility and has gradually added comfort and convenience to cater for the softer demands of modern buyers. There’s no desire to drive a car that’s been to war, but if it can get you to the shops when it snows then that’s marvellous.

The new 90 and 110 models of Land Rover – so called because of the length of their

wheelbases in inches, but not renamed 229 and 279 for the metric markets – were launched a year apart. The 110 made its debut at the 1983 Geneva Motor Show, and marked the first time that Land Rovers started to be marketed as a lifestyle-oriented family vehicle. In fact marketing the car at all was a bit of a novelty. Jaunty colours were added to the paint selection and you could spec your Land Rover with air conditioning and a radio cassette.

Those things, bad as they were, weren’t what made the faithful furious, however. Among the heresies visited upon the off-roading world in 1983 were the introduction of a single-pane windscreen, optional power steering, front disc brakes, a five-speed syncromesh gearbox,

Rust in piece

These are notoriously poor at staying together – a good seller will talk through what’s been done and what’s next

coil sprung suspension that replaced the Series III’s agricultural leaf spring set-up, a full-width plastic grille and – gasp – wheelarches.

The Land Rover’s off-road prowess was improved by these new-fangled inclusions, however – the lockable centre diff provided permanent four-wheel-drive capability along with high and low ratio gearboxes, the coil suspension allowed for improved wheel travel and greater ground clearance too. The interior might have been made comfortable (by the standards of the previous car, let’s not go crazy), but it could still be rinsed out with a hose after a particularly lairy wilderness sesh.

The older 2.25-litre petrol and diesel engines were given a makeover too, with capacity

increased to 2.5 litres to improve power output. There was still the option of Rover’s thirsty 3.5-litre V8 too, if you were so inclined. There was intense competition from the likes of Toyota’s Land Cruiser at this point, too, so Land Rover ended up bolting a turbocharger onto its diesel motor along with some other modifications by 1986 – initial reliability was a disaster though, so the upgrades kept coming.

Eyes wide open

First-time Land Roverer?

Make sure you know what you’re getting in to – this isn’t like other cars... to drive or own

It wasn’t until 1989 and the Land Rover Discovery’s arrival that the company bigwigs thought they ought to come up with a proper name for the 90/110, at which point it became the Defender. But to own an original 90 or 110 is to have got onboard before the Defender became famous – it’s the hipster choice. Next month:

Seat

HATCHBACKS SUPERMINIS CITY CARS

These small cars are perfect for urban life, but the trade-off is a much lower range

You drive mostly around town, with occasional need for longer distances? Try these for size

A good electric hatch needs decent range without compromising interior space

PRICE: £36,920–£38,120 RANGE: Up to 136 miles

This TG favourite has retro styling and a brilliant interior, but it’s a smidge expensive and the range isn’t great. Somehow we can’t help but love it...

PRICE: £30,195–£34,345 RANGE: Up to 232 miles

The e-208 is competent and stylish, but ultimately you’ll fall into one of two camps: outraged about the tiny steering wheel or you don’t understand the fuss.

PRICE: £35,995–£39,995 RANGE: Up to 292 miles

Renault hopes to bring a bit of va va voom (French for increased car sales) to its electric line-up with this larger electric Megane. Early signs are promising.

PRICE: £30,645–£36,645 RANGE: Up to 199 miles

The latest version of the 500 offers sharper looks, good value and decent range – and a parcel shelf full of soft toys shouldn’t hurt the battery too much.

PRICE: £31,000–£35,050 RANGE: Up to 145 miles

The electric version of the home-grown favourite squeezes the BMW i3’s powertrain into a familiar package. Range not massive, but the car’s still fun.

PRICE: £25,995–£31,495 RANGE: Up to 281 miles

Oh, MG – what’s this delightful looking new electric hatch? The company’s previous EVs have been very sensible buys, now we know that it means business.

PRICE: £7,695–£8,695 RANGE: 47 miles

Say hello to your little French friend. The pared back Ami is the perfect car for the city streets, as long as you don’t have ambitions to go further than that.

PRICE: £29,995–£31,995 RANGE: Up to 239 miles

They grow up so fast, don’t they? The Zoe’s not long turned eight, but a recent refresh has given the car a boost. Make sure you get one with rapid charging.

PRICE: £41,650–£56,095 RANGE: Up to 315 miles

Hyundai’s futuristic hatch is much bigger than it looks in pics, but comes with solid range, loads of space and a host of life-enhancing touches inside.

PRICE: £22,225–£25,795 RANGE: 80 miles

Yes, range is terrible, but as city cars go the Fortwo remains a brilliant package and works well in the city. It’s just not quite as cool as Citroen’s effort...

PRICE: £31,000–£33,735 RANGE: Up to 209 miles

A Peugeot e-208 in a Vauxhall suit – now the EV’s gone fully mainstream. The one to buy if you don’t want anyone to notice you’ve taken the plunge.

PRICE: £36,475–£43,735 RANGE: Up to 343 miles

The Born offers a sporty flavour of VW’s small EV hatch set-up (see also Enyaq). Check out our current long-termer in the Garage section of the magazine.

3. HYUNDAI IONIQ 5

1. PEUGEOT e-208

1. HONDA e

2. MINI ELECTRIC

2. FIAT 500

1. RENAULT MEGANE E-TECH

3. RENAULT ZOE

3. CITROEN AMI

4. VAUXHALL CORSA ELECTRIC

4. SMART EQ FORTWO

2. MG4

4. CUPRA BORN

READY TO MAKE THE SWITCH? WE SEPARATE WHAT’S HOT FROM WHAT’S NOT LARGE CROSSOVERS COMPACT CROSSOVERS FAMILY CARS

Small, but perfectly formed. These cars are a perfect second motor or teeny family wagon

Slightly larger electric cars that are designed to cope with everything you can throw at them

These cars need to meet tough demands –plenty of space, a solid image and low costs

PRICE: £43,150–£49,550 RANGE: Up to 341 miles

Undercover Volvo offers Scandinavian attention to detail paired with a level of build quality that would shame a number of much more expensive cars.

PRICE: £38,970–£51,765 RANGE: Up to 336 miles

As usual, Skoda offers a down-to-earth and slightly cheaper alternative to whatever Volkswagen is pumping out. To great effect, as it turns out...

PRICE: £57,115–£61,915 RANGE: Up to 258 miles

Our electric car of the year comes with an imposing heritage, but it’s a solid family wagon that shows off a different side to Volkswagen’s electric platform.

PRICE: £36,745–£43,145 RANGE: Up to 285 miles

The old Niro was already a decent buy, but the new version improves everywhere and is alright to look at too. Great family entry point into electric motoring.

PRICE: £51,990–£67,990 RANGE: Up to 331 miles

A Model 3 with more headroom and a seven-seat option. Latest Tesla gets usual blend of innovative disruption and occasionally iffy build quality.

PRICE: £69,905–£116,905 RANGE: Up to 369 miles

A lovely cabin and it’s not too bad to drive – which is great, because inside the BMW iX is one of the few places where you don’t have to look at the outside.

PRICE: £33,700–£37,650 RANGE: Up to 212 miles

Wait, when did Peugeots become so desirable again? The e-2008 is surprisingly fun to drive and offers a chic interior with lots of nifty touches.

PRICE: £45,245–£57,145 RANGE: Up to 328 miles

The EV6 is based on the same Hyundai Group platform as the Ioniq 5, but they’re very different propositions. The EV6 is stylish and fun, we like it.

PRICE: £62,865–£65,865 RANGE: Up to 285 miles

Slightly stealthier than some of BMW’s more, er, aesthetically challenging EVs, this car is essentially an electric translation of the bestselling X3 SUV.

PRICE: £30,450–£37,900 RANGE: Up to 300 miles

The Kona is highly specced, offers a solid slug of range and looks pretty sharp too. Good value, good range and good looking. What’s not to like?

PRICE: £50,830–£74,540 RANGE: Up to 372 miles

The Mach-E isn’t really a Mustang at all, or a men’s razor, but it looks pretty good. It’s definitely a Ford though, so relentless competence is guaranteed.

PRICE: £67,080–£114,500 RANGE: Up to 343 miles

Audi’s flagship e-SUV wears its electricness lightly, it’s a great option if you’re new to EVs. Just have a look at those digital mirrors to see if you like them...

1. SKODA ENYAQ

2. BMW iX

1. VOLKSWAGEN ID.BUZZ

2. KIA NIRO

3. PEUGEOT e-2008

4. HYUNDAI KONA ELECTRIC

4. AUDI Q8 E-TRON

2. TESLA MODEL Y

3. BMW iX3

1. POLESTAR 2

4. FORD MUSTANG MACH-E

3. KIA EV6

SPECIAL MENTIONS PERFORMANCE EVs

For when money’s no object and the sky’s the limit on car performance

“I’VE BOUGHT ONE! WHAT NOW?”

PRICE: £1.7m RANGE: 340 miles

Brain-scrambling performance from the Croatian entry, and £1.7m might be a lot, but it’s a bargain next to the Pininfarina Battista that nicked its underpinnings.

PRICE: £73,650–£140,080 RANGE: Up to 306 miles

The Sport Turismo version of the Taycan takes nothing away in terms of the car’s impressive performance, adds sleek rear that looks great.

BEST FOR BIG FAMILIES

You have a home charge point. Don’t you? Well, get one. There’s a grant, so it’ll cost you less than £500. If you don’t have a driveway, to get an overnight or allday recharge check zapmap.com for posts near home or work that give between 5kW and 7kW. Always make sure that you know in advance the supplier for the post you want to use, and register on its app or get its dedicated RFID card.

Rapid (DC) chargers, at a slightly higher price, are best used for long trips, like you’d stop for fuel. They take roughly as long as filling with petrol and having a full English.

PRICE: £61,490 RANGE: 352 miles

Ignore all of the Tesla hype and what you’re left with is a solid car with impressive performance. Tesla’s charge network means it isn’t just for early adopters.

BEST FOR CATCHING CRIMINALS

In winter, keep plugged in until you drive away, as pre-warming the battery and cabin increases range. When possible, choose heated/cooled seats over cabin heating and aircon. Try to drop your motorway speed by 10mph: it’ll hugely increase range, getting you there far more quickly if it avoids a recharging stop.

BEST FOR MOVING SOFT DRINKS

PRICE: £65,795 RANGE: 315 miles

In case you were worried that BMW’s M division was going to drop the ball in our glorious new electric future, along comes a brilliant i4 to calm our fears.

Porsche’s Taycan is still the rapid charging daddy with a 270kW charging capacity. There aren’t many plugs around that are capable of providing that, although Gridserve has one in Essex that’ll manage 360kW.

Good news for big families – the new Ford e-Tourneo Custom is an eight-seater EV with 230 miles of range from its 74kWh battery. Even better, if you’re a big family with a caravan, it’ll tow up to 2,000kg behind it.

Gives a new meaning to police charges, but sadly the fuzz won’t be chasing down car crims in this AC Schnitzer-kitted BMW i4 – it’s a one-off for a German government campaign to promote safe tuning.

Well, who would have thought it, eh? The Tesla Semi finally on the road in the USA a mere three years after it was promised. The first models off the line have been given to sugary pop behemoth PepsiCo.

The EVs that have caught our eye, for all the right reasons. Who said they aren’t cool?

4. BMW i4 M50

1. RIMAC NEVERA

2. PORSCHE TAYCAN SPORT TURISMO

3. TESLA MODEL 3 PERFORMANCE

BEST FOR FAST CHARGING

EV

BAFFLED BY ELECTRIC CAR JARGON?

YOUR GUIDE TO DECODING THE FUTURE IS HERE

Let’s start with a simple one. EV means electric vehicle, as opposed to one powered by petrol, diesel, used chip oil, Chanel No 5 or magic.

BEV

People in the car industry like to use this one. It stands for battery electric vehicle, as opposed to, say, an FCEV (fuel cell electric vehicle) that’s powered by hydrogen. We just call them EVs.

ICE

The internal combustion engine. Confusingly, ICE can also stand for in-car entertainment (ie the stereo, touchscreen and so on).

PHEV

Plug-in hybrid electric vehicle, or a hybrid with a bigger battery that you can plug in to charge, giving you a short, say 20-mile, electriconly range. Amazing taxdodging mpg figures in the official tests, not so amazing in real life... unless you plug in every night and use the car exclusively for short trips.

MHEV

The mild hybrid EV, or MHEV, the very bottom rung of the electrified vehicle ladder. A small electric motor assists the engine, but doesn’t have enough gumption to push the car on its own. MHEVs usually manage a fuel saving of about 10 per cent compared with a pure petrol car.

REX

Refers to range extenders, or small internal combustion engines used as generators to recharge EV batteries on the move. The engine can be run at its most efficient rpm, converting fuel to electricity, which is fed to the motors that supply the motive force.

Volts, amps and watts

We’re going to go full science teacher on you and use an analogy. Imagine a river: the volts are how fast the river flows, the amps are how much water is flowing, and the watts are how easily it’ll carry you downstream.

kW

Logical, metric countries use kilowatt to measure power from petrol and diesel engines. For the rest of us a kilowatt is 1,000 watts, and is the most common measure of power in an EV. A kilowatt is equal to about 1.34bhp.

kWh Stands for kilowatt hours and can cut two ways – how much power you’ve used (which a utilities bill does), or how much capacity there is in a battery. For instance, a Tesla Model S has 100kWh of capacity, of which you’ll be able to use about 90, because fully depleting a battery is a great way to ruin it forever.

AC and DC

AC stands for alternating current, and DC stands for Batman comics... er, wait... direct current. AC’s better for long-distance transmission, because it can easily be transformed (to higher voltage, lower current, so fewer heat losses). Transforming DC power is a faff but, because DC charging stations can be as big as they need to be, they can employ high-voltage power, giant transformers and rectifiers and get huge power – up to 350kW.

Slow, fast and rapid charging

Slow or level 1 charging is when you use a regular wall

plug. Fast or level 2 refers to street chargers and the boxes you can install in your house or office, which go up to 7.4kW on normal 240V single phase AC, or 22kW on industrial three phase. Rapid or level 3 is the high power DC supply, the sort you’ll find at motorway services and dedicated charging areas, from 50kW up to 360kW.

CHAdeMO

CHAdeMO is not the result of a cat walking across a keyboard. It’s basically the fast charging standard Japan came up with. Competing standards include CCS and Tesla Superchargers, which all look reaaaaally similar.

CCS

The DC charger you’ll most likely use across the UK and Europe. Works in everything from a Tesla to a VW.

Supercharging

If it looks like a CCS charger and works like a CCS charger, it could very well be a Tesla Supercharger. But you can’t use it unless you’re in a Tesla.

mpkWh

Not content with the unholy union of litres of petrol and pints of milk, the UK’s uneasy blend of metric and ReesMogg leaves us measuring EV economy in miles per kilowatt hour. So, if you have 50 usable kWh, and run at 4.0mpkWh, you’ll do 200 miles before you’re stranded.

WLTP

Stands for Worldwide

Harmonised Light Vehicle Test Procedure. A way to test new cars to see how much fuel, or energy, they use, how much greenhouse gas they expel, and how far they get on one tank/charge. More

accurate than the old NEDC standard, but still optimistic.

Regen

Shorthand for ‘regenerative braking’. Electric motors work by using electricity and magnets to spin a shaft. So, if you were to spin it manually, say, by coasting, you will then generate electricity, because generators are basically motors operating the opposite way.

Range

How far you’ll get in your car from the amount of energy you put into it. So, it’s been fuel from a tank for most of your life, now it’s a battery.

Range anxiety

The fear of being very far from home, on a dark and cold night, without enough power to make it to a charging station. In the short term, the solution is more rapid charge stations, in the long term, better energy density and more efficient cars should ease our furrowed brows.

Li-ion

A contraction of lithium-ion, which refers to the chemical make-up of a typical battery pack. The 12V brick used to start your petrol powered car is a lead-acid battery, but lithium-ion is now the global norm for powering new EVs.

Solid-state battery

The next big step in battery tech – holds more energy than an equivalent-sized li-ion battery, or the same amount of energy but in a smaller and lighter pack. They’re easier to cool, too, which means you can charge them quicker before they get too hot. At least five years until any come to market.

Supercapacitor

Supercapacitors can charge and discharge more quickly than regular batteries – good for bursts of speed – and can tolerate more charge and discharge cycles, but they’re still not as energy dense as batteries, so you’re unlikely to see them as direct battery replacements. More likely to supplement a petrol engine’s performance. See the Lamborghini Sián.

CCZ

The congestion charge zone that covers central London. From 7am to 6pm on weekdays, or 12pm-6pm at weekends and on bank holidays it’ll cost you £15 to drive in this zone. But, with a zero emission car you can fill out a form and pay a oneoff £10 for an exemption that lasts a year.

ULEZ

The CCZ is there to ease traffic; London’s Ultra Low Emissons Zone is to ease pollution. The ULEZ is in effect every hour of every day, and will rain down with great vengeance and furious application of a £12.50 charge if you drive into the zone in a petrol car that doesn’t meet Euro 4 standards or a diesel car that doesn’t meet Euro 6 standards. The good news is that full EVs are exempt.

FCEV

Fuel cell electric vehicles, like the Toyota Mirai. Separating hydrogen and oxygen takes a lot of energy, but reuniting them in just the right way releases energy. You can burn hydrogen, but in a hydrogen fuel cell you generate electricity to drive an electric motor. It’s also easier to move H2 over long distances than electricity.

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WHAT: ELLIOTT’S BALLS WHERE: LONDON, UK

As a part-time bingo caller, there’s nothing TG art editor Elliott Webb likes more than refreshing his work necessaries

WHO: OLLIE KEW

WHERE: MARTIGNY, SWITZERLAND

They say you should never meet your heroes, but in fairness the dog managed to stay very cool while OK was hanging around

WHAT: FUEL FILLER WHERE: MONTREUX, SWITZERLAND

Everyone knows not to use their mobile phone when they’re standing in a petrol station, but this is taking your life into your own hands

WH0: BLUEY WHERE: LONDON, UK

Editor Jack Rix has a new pair of eyes casting an appraising gaze over his work. Bluey has very high standards and breath like tuna

BEHIND THE SCENES

WHO: JOHN WYCHERLEY

WHERE: STUTTGART, GERMANY

We’re not saying the 911 Dakar is uncomfortable, but when given the option of where to shelter from the snow, JW chose this

MAKING IT HAPPEN

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