USELESSISM Hitting the utilitarian middle ground since 2016 MAEVE LAURENCE | MAY 2016
LID-ON Ever feel caught up in the unacknowledged hurdles of the office routine? The age old process of putting pen to paper has assisted creativity throughout history. Whilst technological advancements have sought to move this procedure forward, we firmly believe that technology should not wipe out the indispensable pen entirely. It seems that the wide acceptance of technology has caused a halt in other stationary improvements. Our aim was to transform the tedious, mundane, and sickeningly familiar process of reuniting the cap and pen, into an effortless operation. The use of steel will add a traditional air to any workspace, and the streamlined design will compliment any desk. The user simply rests the pen body into the shoot and its companion into the opposing tube - this can be done anytime prior to the actual capping motion. When ready for fastening, the large steel ball is simply turned until the pen is sealed. The user can then take the pen home with them, free of the burdening concern of an exposed tip given free reign over vital paperwork.
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THE TEABAG-IN MACHINE Take the tea-making strain out of your hands and into the cup with our latest invention! This machine is designed to slot right in to your breakfast routine, and lift your spirits for the day. Afternoon tea is also catered for with a built in scone rack and fetching design. The device is operated by a simple weight-and-rope mechanism that will both dip your teabag in, and retrieve the bag from the given cup. Manual control leaves room for personal tea strength preferences. The pyramid design makes for a sturdy base that will protect your cuppa from the kitchen-counter morning chaos. The apparatus is compatible with any sized cup and is not limited to solely the teabag either; biscuits, cakes, and other treats can also be dipped into your tea.
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THE DRAWING MACHINE Ever tried to draw? Well stop. Although this machine may not have thought itself it certainly seems like it with this degree of expression. This simple set up involves a mesh cage, wooden stand, and an array of fans. An assortment of mark-making items can be attached, allowing you to maintain your artistic license. Alternatively, the invention could have a more ecological source if placed in a windy environment. Simply imprison the desired amount and size of paper onto the pegs in the cage, ensuring they are generously spaced, (with high speed fans you may also leave the paper to roam free along the cagebed), close the lid and power up the fans. Now simply sit back and let the machine do the rest!
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WWW.APPLE.COM/IWORK
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TAP-THAT-ASH Brush that ash off of your lap and into your stride with this cigarette-ashing machine. This device replicates quite the gesture, previously thought to be exclusive to the human hand - the flick. This utensil will make the centerpiece to any smoking area, and the perfect companion to any smoker. To operate the device, the user simply inserts the cigarette of focus into the given tube, and turns the handle situated on the side of the machine until the cigarette is adequately ashed.
WWW.APPLE.COM/IWORK
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