Raphael Semeria on making room for growth

In August 2019, an insecure, extremely reserved and overall disorganized version of myself stepped for the first time onto Gunn’s campus as a high schooler. Now, four years later, an entirely different person will be stepping away it.

As a freshman, overwhelmed by everything high school-related, I wanted to have the time of my life and enjoy everything offered by the new environment. How I would achieve that, I believed, was by being like everyone else. All I wanted to do was fit the home, away from stressors, allowed for time devoted to reflection and growth. I spent time focusing only on myself and reflecting on what I wanted to accomplish. I tried new hobbies, experimented with fashion and tuned into my creative side. Despite all these changes, it would still be untrue to say that all of my insecurities magically disappeared. However, by being more confident, more genuine and more myself, I was able to build stronger relationships and support structures that I didn’t have to question. In the end, coming to terms with who I am allowed me to truly embrace myself and come closer to accomplishing the goals I set for my freshman self. I became more confident, outgoing and spent less time being someone I wasn’t.

After a year and a half at home, I returned to campus my junior year as a much different person. Confidence and comfort built over the pandemic allowed me to spend time enjoying life and the memories I would make during high school. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, got involved in the community and built stronger relationships with those around me. Dressing up for homecoming and attending all of its events junior year marked the first time I was truly excited to display school spirit and be proud of my role in the community. Cheering on the sidelines and wearing the most outlandish outfits possible, I was able to experience all of the highlights of high school.

Despite still getting nervous when talking in a public setting or to people I’m not the closest with, looking back, I can see the momentous growth and development I have experienced. I don’t know what the future holds but I hope to continue living on my own terms and growing in my own way long after my time at Gunn.

Something I hope everyone walking into high school should know, including my freshman self, is that changing one’s self to be like those around them will never be the solution. Once individuals embrace their individuality without regrets and can be confident while doing so, life becomes more genuine and memorable.