GOODlife Magazine February 2017 - Gary Chapman

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IN THEATERS NOW



CONTENTS

Publisher

Kristen Bland

10 GARY CHAPMAN Lost in Translation: Is your love coming in clear?

Damien Parodi

6 NIGHT TO SHINE An unforgettable prom night experience, centered on God’s love, for people with special needs

13 GOODlife TRAVEL Enjoy an Atlanta staycation at the Ritz Carlton

8 EVENTS Mark your calendars for some around-town family fun

14 LOVE AND RESPECT Learn principles that will help you with the basics of marriage

12 RECOVERING GRACEFULLY Don’t let life’s failures keep you down

Managing Editor Gabriel Bland Editor

17 GOODlife RECIPES Buttery Garlic Shrimp with 6 Cheese Alfredo: A delicious homemade dish that tastes like you really worked hard

Autumn Burr Advertising

info@goodlifemagazine.org 770.656.4400 Creative Director Damien Parodi

Graphic Designer Matthew Button

Contributing Editor Krista Messic

facebook.com/goodlifemonthly @goodlifemonthly

COVER CREDIT GOODlife Magazine features Gary Chapman - New York Times Bestselling author and speaker For the full story, see page 10.

GOODlife Magazine is a monthly publication distributed throughout Atlanta and Metro Atlanta. Entire contents, including design elements and logos, are copyrighted and may not be reproduced in any media without the express written consent of the publisher. GOODlife Magazine, LLC reserves the right to edit or reject any editorial or advertising content. Advertisers assume liability for content of all advertisements. All information herein has been checked for accuracy to the best of our ability. Not responsible for deletions, omissions, errors and or inaccuracies. © 2016 GOODlife Magazine, LLC. All rights reserved.


& Jesus said whoever is the least is the greatest—whoever welcomes a child in my name welcomes me (Luke 9:46-48). What would happen if you decided to treat every person like he or she is made in the image of God? When we embrace children and adults with special needs, we welcome Jesus. We welcome the One who sent Him, not just for a few, but for everyone. NorthStar Church’s Imagine Special Needs Ministry is a home celebrating God’s image in every person. After launching one year ago, we have seen tremendous growth, which is an indication of how needed this type of program is in our community. With the addition of a sensory room, separate youth classroom, implementation of a buddy system, and our recently launched parent respite nights, this ministry focuses on embracing families, facilitating inclusion, and creating a home where families with special needs can find reprieve. NorthStar Church’s Imagine Special Needs Ministry is so proud to be hosting, in partnership with Chick-Fil-A, Night To Shine, a Tim Tebow Foundation event. Night to Shine is an unforgettable prom night experience, centered on God’s love, for people with special

DATE February 10, 2017 TIME 6PM – 9PM (Doors open at 5:45PM) Hosted by Senior Pastor Mike & Anne Linch

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needs ages 14 and older. On one night, February 10, 2017, churches from around the world will host Night to Shine for thousands of honored guests! With a red carpet entrance and a friendly paparazzi welcome, each Night to Shine guest is paired with his or her very own buddy, who serves as the individual’s host for the evening. Guests receive VIP treatment, including corsages and boutonnieres, hair, makeup, shoeshines, professional photography, food, dancing, games, and more! The guests also participate in a crowning ceremony, where they each receive a crown or tiara. In addition to being crowned a prom king or queen, each guest receives unique Night to Shine prom favors to take home. We are thrilled to be hosting this incredible event. A special thank you goes to Empress Elite Limos, Be Mine Conference, Three-13 Salon, Gabriel’s, Chick-Fil-A Acworth and Brookstone, Twisted Tulip, Metro Ambulance Service, Acworth Police, Serenity at Bentwater, Acworth Business Association, JRM Management, and many more for making this evening possible. To find out how you can be a part of this phenomenal event, go to www.nighttoshinekennesaw.com.

LOCATION Compass Theater NorthStar Church 3413 Blue Springs Rd. | Kennesaw, GA 30144 WEBSITE

www.nighttoshinekennesaw.com.


&

WHAT IS NIGHT TO SHINE?

Night to Shine is an unforgettable prom night experience, centered on God’s love, for people with special needs ages 14 and older. On one night, February 10, 2017, churches from around the world will host Night to Shine for thousands of honored guests and we want you to be a part of it! DATE February 10, 2017 TIME 6PM – 9PM (Doors open at 5:45PM) Hosted by Pastor Johnny & Mrs. Janet Hunt LOCATION Grand Foyer of Worship Center First Baptist Church Woodstock 11905 Hwy 92 | Woodstock, GA 30188 WEBSITE www.nighttoshineatlanta.com. february 2017

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JOHNNY HUNT’S MEN’S CONFERENCE February 3-4 Location: First Baptist Woodstock With this year’s theme of “Battle Ready,” thousands of men will suit up with the “whole armor of God” and prepare to face headon the spiritual warfare that rages within us and around us. Visit johnnyhuntmensconference.com for more information and to register. KSU SCHOOL OF MUSIC COLLAGE CONCERT February 4 Times: 3pm and 8pm Location: Bailey Performance Center, Kennesaw State University Admission: $15-$30 An exciting highlight each season, the School of Music is proud to present the 11th Annual Collage Concert. Collage, a major fundraising event for supporting scholarships for music students, is the signature production of the School of Music, featuring soloists, chamber groups, and ensembles totaling almost 300 student and faculty performers. BOOTS, BLUE JEANS, & CHILI COOK-OFF February 4 Time: 6pm – 9pm Location: Jim R. Miller Park, Marietta Contribution: $30 per person (price includes Williamson Bros. Bar-B-Q) Put on your finest pair of cowboy boots and come out for a night of music, dancing, chili cook-off, and other festivities! This event supports awareness and reduction of domestic violence and sexual assault in our community. Purchase tickets at ywcanwga. com/100Women2017. ACWORTH’S DADDY DAUGHTER DANCE February 11 Time: 7pm – 9pm Location: North Cobb High School old gym This year the theme is “Blacklight Ball!” This event is open to all girls 13 and under with their dad or adult male escort. A DJ will provide music for the duos to dance the night away, and light refreshments will be provided. A photographer will be set up for optional pictures. Admission for two is $25 for City of Acworth residents or $35 for non-city residents (additional daughters $10 each). Day-of registration will only be held if space is available, and increased rates will apply.

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VALENTINE’S DANCE PARTY: ENCHANTED FOREST February 11 Time: 6pm – 9pm Location: Ben Robertson Community Center Banquet Hall The banquet hall is transformed into a whimsical wonderland of woodland fairy-tales. The family-friendly event will feature an “all-you-care-to-eat” dinner and dessert bar, character entertainment, and plenty of memorable photo opportunities. All adults must be accompanied by a child, and all children must be accompanied by an adult. Tickets are only $15 per person. RESCUING HOPE – RUN FOR HOPE 5K February 11 Time: 8am Location: Five Points, Athens, GA Raising awareness and funds to help fight sex trafficking in America, this event includes prizes, as well as a motivational speech from the founder of Rescuing Hope, Susan Norris. Register at Activate.com. DADDY DAUGHTER DANCE MARIETTA February 12, 2017 Time: 2:30pm – 5pm Location: The Custer Park Sports and Fitness Center This year’s theme is “Fan”- tastic Tailgate Party. The event is open to girls ages 5 to 12 and their fathers or other special man in their life. The afternoon is filled with music, dancing, games and activities. Dress is semi-formal to formal. Admission is $30 per couple ($5 for each additional daughter). Registration is limited to the first 100 daughters. KARI JOBE IN CONCERT February 24 Time: 7pm, doors open 6 pm Location: First Baptist Church Woodstock Come worship with Kari and special guests Bryan and Katie Torwalt on The Garden Tour! Purchase tickets at KariJobe.com. 2017 SPECIAL OLYMPICS POLAR PLUNGE February 25 Times: Gates open at 11am, Plunge at 1pm Location: Acworth Beach at Cauble Park Hosted by the Law Enforcement Torch Run For Georgia, this event supports and spreads awareness for the 27,110 Special Olympics Georgia athletes. Visit www.2017polarplungega.org for more information and to register.


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We all have people in our lives that we love, people that we care about, and we all have people who love and care about us. Sadly, some of this love is not being received as it is intended to be. Many people go through life experiencing the feeling of a lack of love to varying degrees, whether it be from a spouse, a parent, or a friend. And it often is not just one-sided, but goes in both directions. In most cases, the “unloving” signals being given off are unintentional. In fact, there are people in your life that may be perceiving diminished love in their relationship with you. The good news is that there is a way to communicate your love to the significant people in your life in a way that will be received properly. In his book, “The 5 Love Languages,” Gary Chapman explains that there are five different ways, called a “love languages,” that individuals can express their love. These principles do not only 10

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apply to romantic relationships, but also to family, friends, and anyone else of significance. Gary explains that everyone’s default is communicating love through their own primary love language, and that issues arise when an individual communicates love to another person who does not have the same primary love language. With this year marking the 25th anniversary of “The 5 Love Languages,” Gary has reflected back to the testimonies from people whose relationships have been greatly impacted. During our conversation, he recalled a husband who said, “I never understood why my wife would say to me, ‘Do you really love me?’ I thought she knew I loved her. I do all kinds of things for her. I wash dishes, and I vacuum the floors. I do these things for her. Why does she keep asking if I really love her?” Does this sound familiar? It may not be a spouse, it could be a friend, or a family

member whom you just cannot connect with no matter how hard you try. The question is not, “Do I love them?” The question is “Do they feel loved?” Gary shares, “We know that love flows from the heart of God. We love Him because He first loved us. The same principle is true in human relationships. You don’t sit around waiting for the other person to love you. You reach out, following the model of God. And there is a good chance that they’re going to reciprocate.” And that’s the beautiful thing about learning about the different ways people communicate love. Once people understand the concept, they can then begin conveying love in a way that others, who are not like themselves, can receive it. The deepest emotional need we, as human beings, have is to feel loved by the significant people in our lives—in a marriage, in a family, or in friendships. “I think that a lot


of the struggles in marriage and family relationships come out of an unmet need for love. And that is what the book has helped people do, to express love in a way that helps meet that need,” explains Gary. The book has taught people how to do what they have been wanting and have been sincerely attempting to do, but in the past, they’ve missed each other because they were speaking the wrong language. That story of the husband whose wife didn’t feel loved didn’t end there. Gary went on to say that when the man understood the love language concept, he said, “I get it. I’ve been speaking acts of service all these years to show her that I loved her because that’s what I thought would make her feel loved. What she wanted was quality time, and when I realized how I was missing her, I didn’t stop doing the acts of service because she said she appreciated those things, but I

started sitting down and spending time with her each night, giving her that quality time. It revolutionized our relationship.” Understanding the love languages has helped countless individuals, by not only aiding them in communicating the love that they have for others, but also in recognizing love from people in their lives in situations where they previously felt love was deficient because the other individual expressed it in a way that did not resonate with them.

Gary, one consistent theme rose to the top, which he summed up in this: “If we want to impact another person’s life in a positive manner, there’s nothing more powerful than speaking that person’s primary love language on a regular basis.” Couple that truth with the fact that it is never too late to start that process, no matter where a relationship may stand, and that is the heart behind “The 5 Love Languages.”

Since the original release 25 years ago, “The 5 Love Languages” has continued to grow in sales and in its profound impact on relationships worldwide. And Gary’s passion for the ministry God has given him has done the same. Seeing the transformational power of love has left Gary and his wife with a desire to be faithful in their relationship with God and with one another more and more every passing year. Throughout my conversation with

GARY CHAPMAN As anyone who has attended one of his marriage conferences knows, Dr. Gary Chapman’s expertise in marriage begins with the success and failures he and his wife Karolyn have experienced in their marriage for more than 45 years. He is just the man to turn to for help on improving or healing our most important relationships. His own life experiences, plus over thirty-five years of pastoring and marriage counseling, led him to publish his first book in the Love Language series, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Many of the millions of readers credit this continual New York Times bestseller with saving their marriages by showing them simple and practical ways to communicate love. Since the success of his first book, Dr. Chapman has expanded his 5 Love Languages series with special editions that reach out specifically to singles, men, and parents of teens and young children.

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A few months ago my family was at a wedding for one of our friends and my little girl was dancing around the table when she suddenly slipped and fell. She was very embarrassed so I quickly helped her up and comforted her by telling her that “its not a big deal, everybody falls, what really matters is how you get up.” I told her that every great gymnast falls, thats why they have mats on the ground, but they don’t stay there. The truth is that we all stumble and fall at some point in life, but what really matters is how we recover from the fall. So many people retreat from life after a failure because they see themselves as a failure. They choose to condemn and punish themselves rather than pickup and move on. The Bible says in Romans 8:1 "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus…” This passage tells us that to live in Christ is to live free from condemnation. Nothing good comes from condemning yourself. Feelings of condemnation come from a prideful focus on self. Do we make mistakes? Yes. Should we learn from those mistake? Of course. But the the conclusion we walk away with should not be that we are a failure. As I wiped the tears from my daughters eyes, I reminded her of watching the Rio Olympics, and how we saw some of the world’s greatest gymnasts fall from the balance beam. In fact some of them fell multiple times, but they always got back up. Then I asked her to show me how they ended their routines. She put both arms in the air and put her head back standing tall to strike the traditional gymnastic ending pose. I told her that next time she falls, not to sit down and feel bad about herself. But to jump up and strike her ending pose like that was part of her routine. I understood that in that moment I needed to help her develop the right mindset about how to recover from a fall. I wanted her to understand that she can’t expect to go through life without falling down. But what really matters is how she recovers. And the same is true for us. We can’t expect to go through life without falling, but our failures don’t define us. Lets come through our failures like an Olympian, with a graceful recovery. Get back up and finish strong!

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Craig and Janna Jones are the senior pastors of Abiding Church located in Kennesaw, GA. Learn more at www.abiding.church


Located at 181 Peachtree St. in the heart of downtown, The Ritz-Carlton, Atlanta represents the ideal destination to work, stay and explore in the city. The premier hotel’s proximity to popular attractions and dining destinations creates a luxurious, convenient epicenter for a wide variety of Atlanta adventures. “Today’s travelers, whether for business or pleasure, are searching for a more immersive, cultural experience in the cities they visit,” said general manager Manuel Deisen. “Being in the center of downtown puts The Ritz-Carlton, Atlanta in a special place to show guests the heart of the city while providing a taste of luxury and southern hospitality.” Ensuring that each guest feels welcomed and involved, The RitzCarlton, Atlanta provides detailed city guides and points of interest for guests who wish to maximize their stay. Guests may choose from step-by-step, two-day itineraries including “48 Hours of Family Fun,” for those traveling with children; “Atlanta Bucket List,” which overviews noteworthy restaurants, retail, landmarks and more; and “Active in Atlanta,” designed especially for travelers with the desire to explore their surroundings while maintaining their fitness goals.

nearby attractions, providing easy access to the city’s most talkedabout sights and events.

The hotel’s Atlanta guides include destinations and activities that lay just a short walk or drive beyond the lobby doors. Concerts and sporting events at Philips Arena and the forthcoming MercedesBenz Stadium; a one-of-a-kind view on the Sky View Ferris Wheel; aquatic entertainment at the Georgia Aquarium; and touchdown celebrations at the College Football Hall of Fame are among the

Families traveling together will be delighted to partake in the Ritz Kids® program while staying at The Ritz-Carlton, Atlanta, where younger guests are welcomed with a coloring book, crayons and a self-guided scavenger hunt around the hotel. Those looking for a carefree travel experience will enjoy family focused overnight packages, which include exclusive ticket packages to local attractions, pre-set dining reservations and more. Adding to the sights and sounds of the city, the flourishing Atlanta dining scene allows guests to experience an assortment of culinary adventures, beginning with the newly reimagined AG restaurant. Overlooking historic Peachtree Street, the modern steakhouse focuses on seasonal and locally-sourced ingredients, bringing the taste of the south to the second floor. At AG, guests will enjoy a robust menu, show stopping tableside presentations and an artfully presented cocktail program after a long day of exploring the city or before a night on the town. For more information or to make reservations, please call 404-659-0400 or visit www.ritzcarlton.com/atlanta. february 2017

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Scripture teaches us that Christians should honor or respect all men (1 Peter 2:17). Every human being bears the image of God, and so, of course, we are called on to respect and honor that. And of course, scripture also teaches us to love our neighbor (Leviticus 19:18). And Jesus, in his famous story, makes the point that our neighbor is whatever person God has placed right in front of us (Luke 10:29–37). So all Christians are to love everyone, and all Christians should honor everyone. That is the baseline. But when we come down to the particular relationship of husbands to wives, and wives to husbands, scripture gives us an important, additional emphasis. Husbands are told specifically to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Wives are told specifically to respect their husbands as the church does Christ (Ephesians 5:33). There are three things that we can take away from this. The lessons are not limited to three, but we should make a point of grasping at least these three things. 1. We are called to love and respect. First, the commands are directed to our respective and relative weaknesses. We are told to do things that we might not do unless we were told. For example, children are told to obey their parents because it is easy for children not to do so (Ephesians 6:1). In the same way, husbands are told to love their wives because it is easy for husbands not to do so. Wives are told to honor their husbands because it is easy for wives not to do so. We are called to do things that might not occur to us. If we were all doing these things naturally, why bring it up?

“Men tend to think of love as not giving trouble to others, but women think of love as taking trouble for others.”

Women are better at loving than men are. Men do well at respecting. C.S. Lewis once observed that women think of love as taking trouble for others — which is much closer to a scriptural agape love than what men naturally do. Men tend to think of love as not giving trouble to others.

So men must be called to sacrifice for their wives, to take trouble for them, as Christ gave himself for the church. Women must be urged to respect their husbands. A woman can naturally love a man she does not honor or respect very much, and this is something that Paul would identify as a trouble. How many times have we heard a terrible story about a girl returning to her abusive boyfriend because she “loves him,” even though he treats her like dirt? But if we asked her if she respects him, she would reply, “Are you kidding? Him?” And men must be called to give themselves away for their wives. This is what a wedding means.

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2. Men run on respect, women on love. Second, the command reveals something about the needs of the recipient. In other words, if the Bible said that shepherds should feed the sheep, a reasonable inference would be that sheep need food. When husbands are told to love their wives, we can infer from this that wives need to be loved. When wives are told to respect their husbands, we can infer from this that husbands need to be respected. Think of it as two kinds of car that run on different kinds of fuel — diesel and regular, say. Men run on respect, and wives run on love. In saying this, remember that we are talking about emphasis. On a basic level, everyone needs to be loved and everyone needs to be respected. But when scripture singles out husbands and wives living together, the men are told to love, and the women are told to respect. Flip this around, and you see that men should remember that their wives need to be loved, and their wives should remember that their husbands need to be respected.

“Fill your spouse’s tank. Men run on respect. Women live on love.”

Remembering this keeps us from giving what we would like to be getting. George Bernard Shaw once observed that we should not do unto others as we would have them do unto us — their tastes may not be the same as ours. I once knew a husband who got his wife a nice shotgun for Christmas. She was a shrewd Christian woman, and so the following Christmas, she got him a nice string of pearls. And as she told my wife, “they were very nice pearls.” Often when a marriage is in a tough spot, both spouses tend to give what they feel they need — love and respect, respectively. Wives reach out to their husbands with love, when respect is what would really help. Husbands can back away, thinking of this as a form of respect, “giving space,” when what they need to do is close in with love. 3. Both are powerful to produce change. But third — here is where it gets glorious — love and respect are both potent. The Bible teaches that this kind of love is efficacious. This kind of respect is powerful. This sort of love bestows loveliness. This kind of respect bestows respectability.

“A woman loved by her husband will grow in loveliness. A man respected by his wife will become more respectable.”

Husbands cannot duplicate the love of Christ, which efficaciously made his bride lovely. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). But while we cannot duplicate this kind of love, husbands are told to imitate it. And in imitating it, we see some of the comparable effects. A woman who is loved by her husband is a woman who will grow in loveliness. He washes her with the water of the word (Ephesians 5:26). The entire passage assumes that this kind of love bestows loveliness. And the same kind of potency can be found in a godly woman’s respect. Peter tells us that reverent and chaste behavior can break down a man’s disobedient spirit (1 Peter 3:1–2). So then, men and women should love and respect each other. They should do so with all their hearts. But when they are concentrating on their marriages, the men should lean into love. The women should lean into respect. The results can be astonishing.

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I have found that the older I get, the less naive I become. The more I travel, watch media and more, the less I am surprised by something new. It has become harder to get that utterly amazed joy that I had when I was a child. Nearly a year ago, my now almost two-year-old learned a new phrase. “Oh Wow!” That was his favorite phrase for a very long time and he still says it. Now, you need to know that when he says it, both his eyes and his mouth open as wide as humanly possible. As if it is the greatest thing he has ever seen, he exclaims, “Oh Wow!” The biggest look of amazement and joy spreads across his face.

A few weeks back, my grandmother from my Dad’s side visited us from Wisconsin. She brought with her a little train with a remote control that could be used for steering. As soon as my son heard the noise and saw it move, he went into his expression. We have seen this response initiated by even some of the simplest things of life.

Watching his reaction has made me wonder if, in our world of information, we have lost that sense of wonder, amazement, and joy that we each had as a child. I know I have.

Every now and then something happens that can trigger that same expression for me, but it is quite rare compared to when I was his age.

Here are a few lessons I have learned from my incredible son and his sense of wonder that you and I can apply to our own lives:

1 Forget about yourself. My son gets so wrapped up in what is before him, he forgets about himself and his own reactions to each situation. So often we refrain ourselves because we are worried about how we look. 2 Forget about everything else that was going on during the day or that needs to be done. My son gets so singularly focused that he is able to be wrapped up in that moment. How often do we get so wrapped up in the affairs of life that when something special happens, we fail to catch the joy in the moment? 3 Share it with others. When my son is in this moment, he immediately looks up and finds someone around him to share in his joy. When you experience moments of joy, do you have someone to share that with you?

How do you discover joy in your world? How do you find it? And who do you seek to share it with? The next time something special or unexpected happens in your day, allow yourself to be like a young child and truly enjoy the moment.

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Valentine’s Day is coming up and what better way to treat your special someone (or someones, since this will feed four!) than with a delicious and rich homemade dish that tastes like you really worked hard? A couple of quick notes before we get started. I am always about making things easy, but with this dish, you will need to use fresh cheese and grate it yourself. I tried using the cheese that comes grated in the bag or the tub, but it doesn’t melt the same way, and it produces a different flavor (must be the moisture content). Speaking of cheese, you may eliminate any of the grated cheeses I list below (except the Parmesan), but if you do, you will need to increase one or more of the others so that you get a total of 1 ½ cups of grated cheese (I recommend you increase your Parmesan). OK, that’s it. I hope you enjoy. INGREDIENTS 1 lb. Shrimp (peeled – you can leave the tails on or remove them, your preference) 1½ stick butter 2 ½ c. heavy cream 4 cloves garlic (minced) 4 oz. cream cheese ¼ tsp. white pepper 2 tsp. Italian seasoning 1 tsp. garlic powder 1 c. Parmesan Reggiano Cheese (freshly grated) ¼ c. each Asiago, Fontina, Mozzarella, Smoked Provolone (all freshly grated) Lowry’s garlic salt Pasta of your choice Fresh Italian parsley, chopped Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. In a 9x13” glass casserole dish, place the shrimp in a single layer. Melt ½ stick of butter and pour evenly over the shrimp. Sprinkle entire pan with Lowry’s garlic salt to taste. Bake for 16 minutes. (This is really important—make sure it stays in 16 minutes only.) While the shrimp is baking, melt the remaining butter in a sauce pan. Add minced garlic, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning to the butter and cook for about a minute to allow the garlic flavor to permeate the butter. Add heavy cream and cream cheese. Cook over medium heat until the cream cheese is melted; whisk until smooth. Bring to a low boil, then reduce heat to medium-low and simmer for 4 minutes. Remove from heat and slowly add the Parmesan, Asiago, Fontina, Mozzarella, and Provolone. Return to the stove and cook on low for 2-3 minutes, stirring constantly. Serve the Alfredo sauce over your favorite pasta, topped with shrimp and lightly sprinkled with chopped parsley. february 2017

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