2009-2010 GAAMC.org Pride Guide by GAAMC

GAAMC Presents

uide 2009 – 2010 G e d i r P

A Guid

e to GLBTI New Jersey www.gaamc.org

GAAMC: Serving New Jersey’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Intersexed Community since 1972

Does your relationship feel ●

Do you feel like you’re “walking on eggshells” in your relationship?

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Have you lost the person you once were?

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Do you spend most of your time trying to figure out what your partner needs, and not what you need?

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Is your partner overly jealous and possessive?

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Do you feel isolated from your friends and family?

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Does your partner get “too angry,” hitting walls, yelling loudly, or threatening you or others?

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Are you afraid no one would believe you?

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Never thought this could happen to someone like you?

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Don’t know where to turn to for help?

You are not alone. We understand and want to help.

Call to speak with a counselor. It is free and confidential. 24-Hour Helpline: 973-267-4763

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Pride Guide 2009 A Guide to GLBTI New Jersey Published in May 2009 by the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County, a 501(c)3 not-for-profit corporation. Serving New Jersey’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Intersexed Community Since 1972.

Table of Contents Information and Articles Message From the Editor by Sue Harris..............................................................................4 Circles NJ by Gordon Sauer.................................................................................................5 Message From the President by Andy Skurna......................................................................6 All About GAAMC .............................................................................................8, 9, 10, 11 Marriage Inequality Denies Love by Jill Q. Binn...............................................................12 Need to Contact Your Elected Representatives? by Len Resto.........................................13 Immutable Characteristics by Andy Skurna.......................................................................14 Famous Last Words by Janice Urbsaitis.............................................................................16 Pride—It’s a Matter of Self-Love! by Elias Scultori.............................................................19 ¡¡¡Inmigrante, Latino, Católico, Homosexual y Seropositivo!!! de Alfredo..............................22 Immigrant, Latino, Catholic, Homosexual, and HIV Positive!!! by Alfredo.............................24 Choosing a Therapist Who's Right for Me by Dahlia Mann, PhD....................................26 What is the Excessive Zone? by Lisa O’Connor, MD.......................................................28 Sexual Abuse of Males by Ken Singer ...............................................................................30 Sexual Assault Information by the Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault................32 Choosing the Right Health Care Provider Is Important by Tom Ziering, MD, FAAFP...33 Asexual Community Seeks Acceptance by David Jay........................................................34 The Eric Johnson House by Laurie Litt-Robbins, MSW, LCSW.....................................36 Blood Donation by Axel Torres Marrero..........................................................................40 10 Health Issues of Concern for Lesbians courtesy of GLMA..........................................42 10 Health Issues of Concern for Transgendered Persons courtesy of GLMA..................44 10 Health Issues of Concern for Gay Men courtesy of GLMA.........................................46 Sex Crimes & NJ Law courtesy of the Women's Health & Counseling Center.................48 Date Rape Drugs courtesy of the Women's Health & Counseling Center........................49 Adopting Progress by Melissa B. Brisman and Lauren Cuozzo.........................................50 GAAMC and Other Events................................................................................................54

Listings Pride Guide Notes..........55 Financial/Insurance.........63 Physical Health/Fitness...105 Accommodations............56 Help/Info Lines...............66 Print/Radio/Web...........109 Adoption.........................56 HIV/AIDS Support and Real Estate Services.......114 Animal Companions.......56 Services..........................67 Religion/Spirituality.......114 Arts/Photography............56 Legal Services..................74 Retail/Business..............119 Assisted Living.................57 Libraries..........................76 Social Services...............121 Computer/Technology Mental Health/Therapy...77 Sports/Recreation..........122 Services..........................57 Organizations..................87 Surrogacy.......................123 Entertainment/Events......57 Personal Services...........104 Youth.............................124 Pride Guide 2009 was printed by DJG Associates. See their ad on page 120.

Masthead continued on page 7.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Welcome To Pride Guide 2009 by Sue Harris Welcome to the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County’s Pride Guide 2009. We hope you will keep it handy and refer to it frequently. There are almost 300 listings in this edition. When you patronize businesses or service vendors listed or advertised in Pride Guide, please let them know how you found them. It helps them know their advertising is paying off! Five thousand copies of Pride Guide 2009 are being distributed free of charge throughout New Jersey to organizations, professionals, businesses, and at Pride and other events throughout the year. You’ll see herein several articles on issues important to our community, a list of community events and information, and listings and ads for businesses and organizations serving New Jersey’s GLBTI Community. If there’s anything wrong with this edition of Pride Guide (like spelling, punctuation, or layout), I guess I have to take full responsibility as editor. If you wanted to be included in this edition of Pride Guide and aren’t, then it’s your own darn fault. Each advertiser and each listing in last year’s Pride Guide was contacted by e-mail or by phone. Many responded with changes but some ignored requests for updates. If we couldn’t verify your contact info, we had to drop your listing. We asked you last year to submit updates to keep your info current. Please make sure you are included in next year’s Pride Guide edition by sending an email to prideguide@gaamc.org, or you can mail an update to us at GAAMC, Attn: Pride Guide, PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961-0137. See the form in the centerfold of this book. As with all volunteer projects, this one is a labor of love for us. My personal thanks to all who helped. I especially want to thank all the advertisers for advertising with us.

Pride Guide was laid out using OpenOffice.org & other Free Open Source Software (FOSS) on the GNU/Linux distribution Ark Linux. Special thanks to the Ark Linux Team, Bernhard “Bero” Rosenkränzer (Switzerland), David Tio (Singapore) & Dan Leinir Turthra Jensen (Denmark) for developing Ark Linux.

www.arklinux.org Publication of the name of any person, organization, or business in Pride Guide should not be construed as an indication of the sexual orientation of such person or organization.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

CIRCLES

Circles NJ by Gordon Sauer Men’s and women’s discussion groups are back at GAAMC! Based on a New York group that has existed for more than 20 years, CirclesNJ offers structured discussion meetings in a Safe Space. At each meeting, we choose one of the topics below and answer questions designed to promote discussion in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. So come on by to GAAMC and give Circles NJ a try! Circles meetings start at 7:00pm. Discussion topics include: Growing Up Identity Intimacy Women Family Work Being GLBTI Change

Homophobia Reaching Out Role Models Marriage Equality Sex & Sexuality Stages of Life Friendship Gay Prejudice

Parents & Parenting Heritage & Community Politics & Activism I’m Out, What’s Next? Sex Off the Beaten Path Love & Relationships Your own suggested topic

For further Circles info, contact Gordon at discussions@gaamc.org or just come to GAAMC on any Monday night.

Gordon Sauer is GAAMC's Discussion Group Chairperson.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

President’s Message: Our Community Needs Us and We Need You by Andy Skurna The Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County (GAAMC, pronounced gam-mick) has been serving the non-heterosexual community of northern and central New Jersey since 1972. I ask myself why or how we’ve managed to outlast every other Gay Activist Alliance organization in New Jersey and the best answers I can think of are our consistency and our flexibility. I’ve been a member for only a few years. I have been at GAAMC for every Monday meeting since my first, except for two: once for vacation, and one time due to illness. GAAMC is there every Monday, and everyone who knows me, knows where I will be on Monday evening. Over the past 100+ Mondays, I have seen dramatic changes and tremendous diversity. I guess I would say that who we are and what we do changes slightly every week, based on who walks through our doors. Sure, we have plans and goals, but nothing is etched in stone. If someone comes to us with a need, we try to fill it. If someone offers to lead a program on any topic, chances are their offer will not be turned down. With anyone who is willing to share his or her desires, knowledge, personal experiences, or their time, we are equally willing to share ours. The thing about GAAMC that I didn’t quite grasp when I first joined, was the enormous amount of work that is poured into projects that take place outside of our regular meetings. GAAMC is infinitely more than just the group of people who get together for 3 or 4 hours, once a week. We are a team, a family, a community service…an alliance. We have active folks who regularly communicate via our Yahoo! group. We have more than a hundred members of our Facebook group. We have a small but dedicated team who pump tremendous effort into producing Challenge , our monthly newsletter. Nearly a dozen people on our Speakers Bureau voluntarily visit schools and civic organizations to speak about life as a non-heterosexual, educating educators and their students, civic organizations, and public servants. Pride Guide takes nearly six months to produce, with the help of no fewer than two dozen volunteer writers, sales people, fact checkers, proofreaders, and distribution assistants. To put all this into perspective, please allow me to share a week in the life of GAAMC. We met this past Monday evening, as we always do. “Officially” it was a movie night, and about 20 people attended. But, beyond sharing a two-hour movie, also this week: our Activism co-chairs were busy organizing next week’s College Mixer to bring together students from NJ’s colleges and universities to network GSAs and discuss campus safety. One co-chair called upon a Congressman to schedule a meeting to discuss equal rights. Our Challenge editor was calling for articles and scouring the Internet for news items relative to our community. Our Pride Guide editor was following up on promised articles,

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

promised ads, and promised payments; distributing content to proofreaders; incorporating changes from proofreaders; recruiting new proofreaders; and getting estimates of cost from the printer. The Communications Director sent out meeting announcements to several publicity outlets. One Board member called on everyone he knows, trying to raise money for AIDS Walk NYC, which will funnel the funds he raises back to several New Jersey’s AIDS service organizations, including Hyacinth. The Secretary typed up the minutes from last month’s meeting, informed the Shakespeare Theater of NJ of the show we wish them to perform for us in August, updated the Board contact list, and made a personal donation to Paul’s AIDS Walk effort. The Speakers Bureau chair made some follow-up arrangements for our visit to Rutgers Newark later this month. The Assistant Treasurer paid some bills. The Archives Committee is making plans for the next committee meeting. Nearly a dozen cast members are rehearsing for an original musical comedy we’re producing later this month. Our Community Trustees are busy preparing reports for this week’s Board meeting. Later this week, our VP and I will spend 6+ hours at a college sharing information about GAAMC and GLBTI rights. Anyone can get involved with any of these efforts, at any level, simply by asking. To keep GAAMC active and relevant, we need your input. The very best way to feel you’re a part of any group is to invest a little bit of your time, your passion, and your talents. You will quickly reap rewards. Please visit us. When you do, please feel comfortable enough to express yourself. We operate in a Safe Space, so there is no need to feel shy or bashful. You are among friends. If we make you feel welcome, please come back. If we don’t, please let me know what we can do differently. It takes me a while but eventually I get it. This time it took me only 814 words to say this…

… GAAMC is dynamic. Andy Skurna is the President of GAAMC. Masthead continued from page 3. Entire contents are copyright © May 2009 Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County (GAAMC). All copyrights revert to the original authors upon publication. The Pride Guide and the Editors aim to publish accurate information and listings. Responsibility cannot be assumed by the Pride Guide, GAAMC, the editors, the contributors, or any board member in the event of a claim of loss, damage, or injury arising from any information in this Guide. Statements of contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect the policies or opinions of the Pride Guide or GAAMC.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

An Overview of GAAMC In 1972, when the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County (GAAMC) was founded, there were already “Gay Activist Alliances” in several other counties in New Jersey. GAAMC is the lone survivor of those early community-building groups and has become one of the oldest suburban-based GLBTI groups in the United States. While you don’t have to be a member to attend meetings, your membership helps GAAMC to grow, broadening our sphere of influence. Membership benefits include a subscription to our monthly newsletter, Challenge , a reduced door donation on Monday nights, and voting privileges. Our facilities are partially wheelchair-accessible. We can also provide sign language interpreters for the hearing-impaired. (Please send an e-mail request to info@gaamc.org.)

GAAMC’s Four Purposes Social: We always have time to talk with each other. Many of our meetings focus on fun, such as holiday barbecues, the annual Holiday Show, the Halloween Social, the annual Thanksgiving dinner, the $1.98 Beauty Pageant, movie nights, game nights, and our original plays in our Lively Arts Series. Olympia's Daughters, the Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey, and Mr. Scarlett O'Hara have entertained us recently. Many of the performances include talented GAAMC members. Educational: Many interesting topics are explored through panel or group discussions and guest speakers. Recent topics have included civil rights, financial planning, AIDS, long term care planning, Transgendered 101, and civil union updates. For over 20 years, March has been Sex Month at GAAMC. Political: GAAMC is committed to educating its members about political issues that affect the GLBTI Community on local, state, and national levels. We accomplish this through announcements and guest speakers, including a candidates forum just before election time. Activism: Through the Activism Committee, we strive to represent our members and to ensure their opinions are made known to their state and federal representatives.

Main Meetings The doors at 21 Normandy Heights Road, the Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, open each Monday night at 6:30. Volunteers set up the building for our meeting. As people arrive, they pay the modest suggested door donation (special rates for members, students, seniors, and others) at the Welcoming Table, receive a name tag so they can be greeted by friends and friends-to-be, and usually proceed to where snacks and beverages are available. In the Great Hall, they can pick up free literature and newspapers and chat with friends. At 7:00, people attend the discussion group of choice. At 8:00, the groups end and people are encouraged to listen to the community announcements. Then the main program of the evening takes place from about 8:00 to 9:30. Most evenings end by 10pm.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

GAAMC’s Discussion Groups Most Monday nights, usually between 7:00 and 8:00, a number of discussion groups meet. There are groups for men only, women only, and about once a month, a combined group for all. While all are encouraged to share their feelings and experiences, it is not necessary. Talking is not essential. Someone can receive support by listening to others in the group—as well as being listened to by them. The only essential thing is to respect the group as a Safe Space.

Publications Our newsletter, Challenge, contains items of current local, state, and national interest, announcements of events, and classified and business advertisements. We publish this annual Pride Guide that you have in your hand. It is a free guide to services for New Jersey’s GLBTI Community. We also post the information contained herein and much, much more on our website: www.gaamc.org.

Speakers Bureau Our Speakers Bureau carries information to other groups that are interested in learning about the GLBTI Community. We speak to churches, schools, civic groups, and businesses, and welcome speaking invitations from any organization.

Gay Pride Month: June In June, GAAMC presents programs focused on Gay Pride. We invite you to join us in marching behind our banner in the Asbury Park Pride Parade the first Sunday in June and the New York City Pride March the last Sunday in June.

GAAMC Membership Membership in GAAMC is open to people 18 years of age and older. Benefits of membership include a subscription to our newsletter, Challenge , one FREE classified ad per month in Challenge, a reduced door donation on Monday nights, voting privileges, and eligibility to serve as an officer or member of the Board of Trustees. The membership year extends from October 1st to September 30th, and dues are collected annually. See the application form in the center of this Guide.

Gay and Lesbian Youth in New Jersey® (GALY-NJ) When GALY-NJ started on April 1, 1989, there was a great need for a safer place for GLBTI and questioning youth to meet. Over the years, many other venues have emerged including Gay/Straight Alliances in high schools, Internet groups, and other social groups. Anti-bullying laws enacted by the New Jersey Legislature and enforced by New Jersey’s Division on Civil Rights are making schools safer places for all youth. More young people are coming out at an earlier age and there are many more “out” role models. As of May 2006, GALY-NJ has achieved its mission. We are proud of our GALY alums who are creating change here in New Jersey and around the world.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Directions to GAAMC’s Meeting Place 21 Normandy Heights Road, Morristown, NJ 07960 From the North: From I-80 or US 46, take I-287 south to exit 37 (Route 24 east). Proceed 1.8 miles to exit 2A (Morristown) and exit onto Route 510 west. Go through the light at Park Ave. At the next traffic light, turn right onto Normandy Heights Road. The Morristown Unitarian Fellowship is on the left at #21. From the South: Take I-287 north to exit 36A (Morris Avenue East). Proceed 0.4 miles to a fork and bear right onto Columbia Turnpike (Route 510 east). Continue an additional 0.5 mile to a traffic light and turn left onto Normandy Heights Road (the Morris Museum is on the left). Immediately bear right. The Morristown Unitarian Fellowship is on the right at #21. From the East: Take Route 24 west to exit 2A (Morristown) and exit onto Route 510 west, or take South Orange Ave west which becomes Columbia Turnpike (Route 510 west) crossing under route 24. Then go through the light at Park Ave. At the next traffic light, turn right onto Normandy Heights Road. The Morristown Unitarian Fellowship is on the left at #21. From the West: Drive to I-287, then follow the appropriate directions to come from the north or south. From the Parkway: Garden State Parkway North to I-78 West, to Route 24 West. Follow directions from the east. There is plenty of parking available. Also, train service is available to Morristown or Convent Station, and it’s a short taxi ride to 21 Normandy Heights Road.

How to Reach Us: Message Center: 973-285-1595 (leave a detailed message) Pay Phone on Monday nights: 973-455-9738 Mail: PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961-0137 E-mail: info@gaamc.org Visit Us Online: www.gaamc.org groups.yahoo.com/group/GAAMC www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=35972756832 Subscribe: news@gaamc.org

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

GAAMC Officers and Trustees President : Andy Skurna........................................................ president@gaamc.org Vice President for Community Services: Sherri Rase.................. info@gaamc.org Vice President for Operations: Open Secretary: Sue Harris............................................................. secretary@gaamc.org Treasurer: Open Assistant Treasurer: Len Resto............................................. treasurer@gaamc.org Community Trustees: Jen Dugan, Paul Greenberg, John Livoti, Charlie Murphy, Len Resto, Gordon Sauer, Robin G. Schneider, Mickey Suiter, and Mark Wydner

Committee Chairs and Project Leaders Activism: Jen Dugan and Len Resto....................................... activism@gaamc.org Archives: Mickey Suiter.......................................................... archives@gaamc.org Challenge : Allen Neuner....................................................... challenge@gaamc.org Communications Director: Kerry Dinkin Discussion Group Resources: Gordon Sauer................... discussions@gaamc.org Facebook Group: Jen Dugan Fundraising: Paul Greenberg............................................. fundraising@gaamc.org Information: Mitch Rubin................................................... freelibrary@gaamc.org Mailing List: Sue Harris and Allen Neuner ................ changeaddress@gaamc.org Membership Services: John Livoti and Allen Neuner NJ Lesbian and Gay Coalition/Personal Liberty Fund: Gordon Sauer Programming: Sherri Rase................................................... programs@gaamc.org Social: Varies by event............................................................... socials@gaamc.org Speakers Bureau: Christopher Selitto........................ speakersbureau@gaamc.org Special Events: John Livoti........................................................ tickets@gaamc.org Volunteerism: Sherri Rase.................................................... volunteer@gaamc.org Webmasters: Andy Skurna, Rob Arms.............................. webmaster@gaamc.org Yahoo! Group: Sue Harris, Eric Schwarz, and Sherri Rase

Pride Guide 2009: This was truly a collaborative effort. Thank you all. Editor-in-Chief & Layout: Sue Harris................................ prideguide@gaamc.org Contributors: Alfredo, Jill Q. Binn, Melissa B. Brisman, Lauren Cuozzo, Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, David Jay, Laurie Litt-Robbins, MSW, LCSW, Dahlia Mann, PhD, Axel Torres Marrero, Lisa O’Connor, MD, Len Resto, Gordon Sauer, Elias Scultori, Ken Singer, Andy Skurna, Janice Urbsaitis, Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault, and Tom Ziering, MD, FAAFP. Proofreaders: Ann Cutillo, Jackie DiLorenzo, Jill Q. Binn, Connie Gilbert, Nancy Harris, Susan Kelly, Sue Kurzawski, Allen Neuner, Lisa O’Connor, Sherri Rase, Mary Reynolds, Jenny Ruiz, Eric Schwarz, Andy Skurna, and Susan Steiner, Mickey Suiter. Data Validators: Jackie DiLorenzo, Jenny Ruiz. Thank you ladies!

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Spotted in The Daily Record—Sunday, June 8, 2008 GAY RIGHTS

Marriage inequality denies love To the Editor: Oh for Pete's sake! Why do people spend so much time and effort trying to deny the lesbian and gay community their human rights? Why can't people understand that we love our partners just as much as they love theirs? The gender may be different but the love is not. Why are they so incredibly threatened by us being able to marry? The most ironic thing is that I was legally married to a man in 1991 and the state of New Jersey did not blink an eye at my request to be married. I did not have to pass any special test for the privilege nor did I have to prove our love was worthy of a marriage. All I had to do was sign my name. This relationship ended in divorce. Now that I am in the most wonderful relationship of my life—one that I know will last forever—I am not permitted to be married. Why? Because people who have never even met me think it is their moral duty to determine the validity of my love for my partner. The whole thing peeves me to no end. Now that

my partner and I are engaged, we are holding out for the day when we can be legally married. I am confident that day will come. But when I see what people are trying to do in the aftermath of the decision in California, I feel temporarily defeated. Regardless of what the future holds, my partner and I are in it for the long haul. Although we wish to be legally married, we do not need the government to validate the love we have for each other. We know we are committed to one another. That is all that truly matters. That being said, the denial of marriage equality by our society/ government makes us second-class citizens. Many people seem to think we should feel satisfied with civil unions. What many people fail to realize is that this is no more than a Band-Aid. It does not create marriage equality.

Jill is the mother of two daughters and the love of my life [Ed].

JILL Q. BINN Morristown

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Need to Contact Your Elected Representatives? by Len Resto Members of the State Legislature (Assemblypersons and State Senators) work for us. You should feel free to contact them on issues of interest to you and to the GLBTI Community. For the state of New Jersey, you can find your representatives by visiting www.njleg.state.nj.us. The website has a “Legislator Locator” and it is very user friendly. When you need to find out who your Congressman or Congresswoman is, you should visit www.house.gov. Once there, the search engine is pretty powerful and can find your Representative with your having to enter very little information. While e-mail communication is always an option, your contact will have MUCH more impact when it is done via written or typed letter sent via snail mail. The rationale is that if someone took the time to compose a letter, put it in an envelope, put a stamp on the envelope, and then mail it, the issue is important to the writer. E-mails can get caught up in powerful spam filters and it may not get through. Proper etiquette requires that the salutation to any elected official be as follows:

Honorable John Doe 123 State House Trenton, NJ 08xxx Dear Assemblyman Doe: Such etiquette is a sign of respect for the position. Believe me, these things do get noticed. When writing to your representative, brevity is key. Always make sure you identify yourself as a constituent. For example, “As a constituent of Anytown, I am writing to you regarding the upcoming piece of legislation: A1234”. Be specific. Refer to the bill by number, and say why you are for it or against it. Remember, words matter, you matter, and elected officials do care about YOUR vote.

Len Resto is Co-chair of GAAMC’s Activism Committee.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Immutable Characteristics by Andy Skurna Truly equal rights will not be afforded to non-heterosexuals in the United States until the majority of the population learns that sexual orientation and sexual identity are immutable characteristics. The exact term “immutable characteristic” is vital. Each of us must learn all we can about it, and make it a part of every discussion possible. We need to teach it to our children, other family members, straight allies, employers, religious leaders and legislative officials. An immutable characteristic is defined as a trait that cannot be altered. It is the launching point of every debate on civil rights that has taken place over the past century, and seems to be the first test of whether a group can claim minority status, and seek protection. The most widely used examples of immutable characteristic are race and nationality. People do not choose their race. People do not choose where they are born. These traits people can easily comprehend. All the protections granted under the Civil Rights Act of 1964 were done so based on the idea that people should not be judged on characteristics over which they hold no control. The exception to this test was protection from discrimination based on religion/creed. The problem our community faces when trying to win equality comes down to one simple fact. The majority of the voting population still believes that sexual orientation and sexual identity are not immutable characteristics. They firmly believe (and cling to the notion) that the only legitimate term to describe non-heterosexuality is “sexual preference.” The importance of the selection of these words, over the more enlightened “sexual orientation,” cannot be overstated. “Preference” means that people have the freedom of choice. Once something is deemed a preference or a choice it becomes subject to judgment. Any behavioral choices people make that place them within a minority, open them to criticism. It gives those not in that group the sense that they are morally, ethically, or intellectually superior. Obesity is a good example of a characteristic that most people perceive to be mutable. The obese, it is widely held, choose to overeat and therefore, choose to become fat and ultimately choose (and some feel deserve) the ridicule and prejudice that results from their choice. An ever growing body of scientific evidence may prove this belief to be false but most people still believe that people are fat by choice. As of Election Day 2008, numerous polls showed that by a modest majority Caucasian Americans believed that sexual orientation was an immutable characteristic. However, most Americans of African descent, and most Latino Americans believed sexuality is chosen. We cannot overlook the fact that most of the citizens of these two groups are devoutly religious. The diverse group known as Caucasian is made of Jews, Catholics, Protestants, Mormons, Agnostics, and followers of virtually every known religious belief system. African Americans, in overwhelming numbers, identify as some form of non-Catholic Christian or Islamic. Latino Americans are mostly Roman Catholics.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

The leaders of these religious groups maintain control over their followers with the ultimate reward or punishment…eternity. These religious belief systems, I feel, are especially flawed by their rigid adherence to creeds built on fantastic stories of magical feats, by “laws” that were created by their leaders centuries or millennia ago and labeled as the unquestionable Word of God. This means that they are sealed off from intelligent debate, and claim the right to reject scientific fact. Such freedom to dictate right vs. wrong, good vs. evil, God’s laws vs. man’s will vs. Satan’s plot gives license within those social cultures to discriminate against their own kind. As a result we have the “down-low” and “machismo” cultures and the victims they create. I have heard Imams say that is it better for homosexuals to kill themselves than to bring the shame of homosexuality to their families. The protection of peoples' right to believe what they choose, regardless of the source or validity of their teachings, is key to our loss of protection from prejudice by these same groups. We grant them the right to believe and (more importantly) to teach superstition and continued ignorance, without question. Then, when we ask for protection of our rights as a minority, based on the immutable characteristic of sexual orientation, we are not granted protection because the majority feels as though our sexuality is solely our preference. In order for New Jersey’s GLBTI+A (see David Jay’s contribution on page 34 of this Pride Guide) community to gain equality, we must break through the fear and ignorance that plagues some of our state’s largest populations. We must somehow convince the followers of these faiths that they have the right to think for themselves, and to apply common sense and scientific fact to their belief systems. We must reeducate them that the role of most religions is to foster a closer connection between them and their God, and not to condemn or attack an entire class of people for trying to live the way God made them. This is an extraordinarily daunting task. Why? Because the very first step to comprehension requires the acknowledgment or at least the possibility, that the beliefs they clung to for so long were wrong. Once someone makes that connection, they may further investigate what they’ve been taught all their lives. And many, many people are afraid of what that may lead to, especially the dictatorial clergy of those religions. Even as you read this, all across America, and right here in New Jersey, closeminded belief systems are fostering the next generation of narrow-minded, hateful people who have been severely damaged by their fears. I was reminded of this yesterday when a young woman, with a toddler in tow, rang my doorbell and asked if she could come into our home to share a passage from her Bible. Had I been better composed, I would have invited her in to share some of my knowledge and personal experience. Unfortunately the shock of her presence at my threshold, and more significantly, witnessing the indoctrination of her child destroyed my composure resulting in my clear message that she was not welcome. Today, I regret the lost opportunity to show her something other than the hate she’s been force fed, and that she is now passing on to the next generation.

Andy Skurna is a "recovering" Byzantine Rite Catholic, and the president of GAAMC.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Famous Last Words by Janice Urbsaitis April 4, 2009 There are many famous last words: “Have you ever driven a stick shift?” “Of course I can get down this slope!” And then there is the conversational gobstopper: “I’m gay.” One day my son asked me, “Would you rather be lied to or do you want the truth?” I had always been the mother of a gay son. I just didn’t know it. Growing up, he was smart, funny and caring and he is still all those things. We parents of lesbians and gays have many reasons to be proud of our children. Gay and lesbian children everywhere, I wonder if you know how much you mean to us. You teach us to be more courageous in the face of daily discrimination; to fight for what is right and important; and not to give up on our dreams. You are our quiet heroes, giving more than taking. Refusing to settle for injustice no matter how unfair the world can be. I cannot imagine what it is like for one young man to look at another and wonder if he will be beaten or killed if he expresses his interest. Matthew Shepard’s murder demands that we decrease fear and violence in this world. If each parent of a bisexual, gay, transgendered, or lesbian child can give an ordinary voice to their child’s life, would the “mystery and fear” of homophobia disappear? The next time you are with your family or friends and someone asks why your child isn’t married, simply say, “My daughter is a lesbian,” or “My son is gay. They aren’t allowed to.” Some family members and friends believe that to invite you to their table shows their acceptance. When people you love vote for officials who try to legislate hate into the Constitution, they are hurting you. It is time to tell them this whether they carry our last name or live next door. It is important for parents to defend our children. When it comes to family, we can do much to pave the way for acceptance. We teach our children to love our relatives. We can teach our relatives to love our sons and daughters. Discrimination is not a family value! Someone you know and love is gay. Your friend or family member may not have “come out” yet, or his or her news was not welcomed when he or she did but they are here just the same. Straight parents give birth to gay children. Under our skins, the same hearts beat—the same needs for safety, enough to eat, to be accepted by those we love and by society. Our sons and

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

daughters are struggling for equal rights in a country that espouses them but has not delivered on that promise. Many gay children do an amazing job of raising themselves while searching for a place in this world. But for others, the isolation and harassment endured especially in high school causes the highest rate of suicide for gay teens. Dan Zadra said, “If there must be a stereotype let it have nothing to do with race, creed, color, gender, sexuality, or advantage. Let it have everything to do with effort, energy, ideas, commitment, and capabilities.” I grew up in a family that made Archie Bunker look like Mother Theresa. My father was so bad when my son “came out” that I told him, “If you don’t shut up, you will never see me again!” Don’t waste time wondering, “What will everyone think?” Ask yourself, “How has my child carried the knowledge that he or she is different without our support?” When your child loves you enough to want you in his real life, and trusts you enough to share this important information, please do not withdraw college tuition or other opportunities for him or her to be safe and to develop the best skills he or she can to live a good life. If you don’t know what to say, a long hug will do. We have proven that women deserve the right to vote by giving it to them; by electing Barack Obama, we have proven that the color of your skin no longer decides who can be President. Marriage Equality will ensure that gay families can have the life they deserve. Civil Unions are poor substitutes from politicians who need your vote during elections but don’t want to lose their position once elected. They put Marriage Equality on the back burner. The idea that each state should decide on Marriage Equality is busy work and blatantly unfair. Marriage Equality is a Civil Rights Issue. Separate but equal has never worked: School busing didn’t provide educational equality for African-Americans. Men voting didn’t provide equality for women in the 1900s. Civil Unions do not provide 1300 benefits that married couples enjoy. People in Civil Unions have to pay tax on health insurance for their partners. You do not get a tax cut for being shortchanged. You pay the same taxes but you do not have the same rights. This is not equality for all. The struggle for equal rights is as old as time. Anne Frank is the universal symbol for tolerance in the present day and the danger of boundaries. Visitors to the Anne Frank house learn not just about the Holocaust but about human rights, discrimination, and racism. She forces people to reevaluate their values. A church across the street has a large triangle etched in cement in front of its steps to honor the gay community. Nearby is the Homomonument, a triangle-shaped pier jutting out into the canal

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

deliberately diverting the water to remind us that your lives are important; you do impact this world. Montel Williams said, “We are all born without hate and prejudices. It is our job to get back to that loving, trusting soul we were at birth.” There is no better time to instill tolerance in children than before high school. “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” has never worked. Classmates, television, music, and the Internet teach what parents try to avoid. Why not teach that when 9/11 happened, one of the four heroes on Flight 93 was Mark Bingham, a gay man who fought for all of those lives on that plane? Learning the accomplishments and heroism of gays goes a long way in creating respect, which increases acceptance. In many ways this is uncharted territory. It’s not enough to have a place at the straight table any more. Now it’s becoming important that straight people are coming to the gay table as well. Two days ago, Sweden became the seventh country to legalize Marriage Equality. Yesterday, Iowa approved Marriage Equality. Vermont passed Marriage Equality in the House and Senate. While their Governor has threatened to veto that bill, the wishes of the people are clear. [The

Vermont Legislature overrode the governor's veto on Tuesday, April 7, 2009. The law goes into effect September 1, 2009 —Ed.] Marriage Equality has been legal in South Africa since 2005. Full human rights were granted to all South Africans. Nelson Mandela had to rebuild an entire nation as well as deal with a depressed economy. There is no reason to waste time convincing state after state to do the right thing. Marriage Equality is a civil rights issue. Where is America’s true equality? President Obama should legalize Marriage Equality throughout the United States now. I want full equal protections under the law to extend to our gay brothers and sisters. It’s wrong to have millions of Americans living as second-class citizens in this nation. We have work to do.

Janice Urbsaitis is the mother of a gay son and a practicing activist/artist. Owner of Cadwell & Company, a design studio, she uses socially and politically driven graphics to inspire action and shift the way we think. A graduate of Syracuse University’s MFA Program, she has traveled throughout South Africa, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Botswana, India, and Japan focusing on the issues of our time: AIDS, global terrorism, Human Rights, Equality, and others. As the saying goes, “All great social change seems impossible until it is inevitable.” Janice can be reached at 732-364-4435 or cadco@optonline.net. Her video, Raising eQuality is on YouTube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReCfA4iFRp4

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Pride—It’s a Matter of Self-Love! by Elias Scultori “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.” —Eleanor Roosevelt I came across this quote while doing some research for a talk I was scheduled to give at a Pride Center during the month of June, when we celebrate gay pride all around the world. Of course, they asked me to talk about gay pride— with a life coaching twist. And since so much has been already said about this subject, I thought at first, I would inevitably end up being redundant. But as I continued to explore the subject, I began to think more and more about the correlation between the word pride and the meaning of self-love. Has anyone talked about this already? Since the Stonewall riots of 1969, every year during the month of June, millions of people who identify themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or intersexed (GLBTI) have inundated the avenues of major cities all around the world, waving their rainbow flags, and proclaiming their gay pride. Now, 40 years later, the community has won major battles against discrimination and today, in spite of all the political struggles, an increasing number of people recognize the importance of giving full legal rights and public acceptance to the millions of gay people living in this country. The irony is that even after years of parading down the streets and boldly celebrating all the diversity of our people, poor self-image continues to be a chronic issue for many individuals in our community. The alienation, discrimination, and abuse that in the past and even today continue to afflict young GLBTI individuals, have made a huge mark in our personal and communal experience. How can we wave our flags and demand equal rights when, at the same time, we're still struggling with how valuable we feel inside? I strongly believe that together with our fight for civil rights, we ought to pay close attention to our own struggles as individuals. For me, one cannot go without the other. Every day each one of us must work on improving and nurturing the love we feel for ourselves deep inside. And here are some of the steps I would propose as your personal life coach: Surround yourself with people who care about you We all know the importance of having a strong support system. Friends and family are the source of our energy and well being. Find and nurture relationships with people who truly love you. Make sure you have a group of cheerleaders who are there to lift you up, to respect you, to treat you well, and

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to remind you of the wonderful person you are. At the same time, remember to do the same for others. There is nothing better to boost our self-respect than when we see ourselves being good and fair to other people. Be your own best friend At this point, it is all about you. Even more important than having a group of cheerleaders, you have to be your No. 1 fan. Always treat yourself well. Be kind, be reasonable, be compassionate with who you are. Respect yourself and your own wishes. Look inside your heart and follow what you see there. Be true to your own values and ideals. Show yourself that you are a good human being by celebrating the beauty that resides inside of you. Pay attention to your actions and make note of the valuable things you do every dayâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;even if they may seem small and unimportant at the time. Give yourself credit for your gifts and especially for your intentions and your values. Invest in yourself What about all those dreams and ideas youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been hiding and avoiding for so long? It is time to bring them back to light and pursue them. It is time to take ownership of the talents and gifts you have and invest time, energy, and money on developing them. Set goals that are based on your desires and work to achieve them. If you need help, talk with a friend, a relative, a personal coach, a mentor. Bring yourself out and learn how to show to everyone the beautiful person you already are. I believe there is no better investment in the world. Spend time on things that you enjoy What are the top 3 things that you take pleasure in the most in your life? Name them and make the point of doing them regularly. If you have a hard time making this short list, look back at your past and remember the moments when you felt satisfied and fulfilled. They will give you a hint of the things that uplift you and make you happy. After you work hard and achieve a goal, reward yourself and indulge in something that is fun. Have a great time and appreciate how deserving you are of that moment. Take responsibility Improving your self-image does not come only by pampering and telling yourself how good you are. Strong and healthy self-respect is sustained by recognizing the solid person you are and the great values you bear. And these values are shown no better than when you take responsibility for your own choices and actions. Acknowledge that ultimately, you are the only one responsible for the life you are living today but that, by the same token, the

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

choices you made in the past were the best choices you could have made with the resources you had at that time. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Look forward and make a commitment from this point on to choose based only on your own beliefs and standards—nobody else’s. Stop the blame and take charge of your life today. Say YES to life Have you ever seen the movie “Life is Beautiful”? It is the story of a Jewish man and his son, living in a Nazi death camp during WWII. It is hard to imagine any worse situation but in the midst of such chaos, the character chooses to approach every moment with humor and love. Saying YES to life is a distinguishing part of the coaching process. In every situation and in every moment of our lives, we have a choice on how we are going to receive and react to what is happening to us. We can either choose pity, defeat, pain, resentment, guilt, fear, anger, and sickness, or instead choose peace, forgiveness, beauty, courage, freedom, and health. Unfortunate situations don’t happen only to you. They happen to all of us. That does not necessarily mean we are seriously damaged, scarred for life—a label we need to wear forever. The more negativity we carry, the more difficult it is for others to appreciate who we truly are, and most importantly for us, to love ourselves. For every moment, say YES to life and NO to procrastination, defeat, and self-doubt! Say YES to love, encouragement, friendship, understanding, strength, and dignity. Self-love and real pride are built through the interactions we have with our own hearts, with the people we relate to, and especially with how we react to the events that happen in our lives. It is the result of a network of situations, habits, and connections. And now, as adults, we are the only ones who have the power over these things. I feel so fortunate to have the opportunity to work and see such wonderful individuals committed to saying YES to life everyday in every moment. Together we work hard to live a better life, conquer the dreams we have and create opportunities to build a more solid and true self-love. And you can do it, too. You can join us in this journey. If we agree with the initial quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, improving the love and respect we have for ourselves is imperative in our path to equal rights. Let’s make sure we stand firm inside and make an even stronger presence everywhere we go. Respect will follow suit.

Elias Scultori is a professional life coach whose practice is primarily focused on supporting individuals who are committed to the possibility of saying YES to life in every moment. You can find out more about his work by going to www.lifecoaching-egs.com.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

¡¡¡Inmigrante, Latino, Católico, Homosexual y Seropositivo!!! No Es una Muy Buena Combinación. de Alfredo Hola, me llamo Alfredo y soy Mexicano. Tengo 39 años y quiero compartir brevemente lo que ha significado para mi el tener todos estos “regalos”. Puedo comenzar con decir que desde que tengo memoria me gustan las personas de mi mismo sexo y por presiones sociales hice lo que todos esperan de un “hombre”: Tener novia, tener relaciones sexuales con mujeres y… y Pues eso no era lo mío, así que tuve que armarme de valor y a pesar de sentir que era el único en el mundo, aceptarme a mi mismo y perdonarme… Si, perdonarme, porque es pecado que te gusten las personas del mismo sexo. ¡¡O sea, que te vas a ir al infierno!!… Me llevo un par de años superar esa etapa, ya que toda mi vida estudié en escuelas religiosas y no es fácil superar ese “estigma”. Justo cuando terminé la Universidad y apliqué para trabajar para una empresa Americana, al hacerme los estudios médicos requeridos, me enteran (ellos fueron los que me dijeron) que era Seropositivo. Tenía 21 años, terminaba el colegio y se suponía que debería de tener una vida por delante… Pero no, de acuerdo a lo que me estaban diciendo en esos momentos tenía que pensar que no iba a tener mas de dos años de vida, (era la época de los 90’s en donde tener ese diagnóstico era igual a tener una sentencia de muerte). Así que ahí vamos de nuevo, a armarse de valor y hablarlo con la familia. Mis padres estaban devastados, pero me dieron todo su apoyo, al igual que mi hermana y después, pues a educarse y sobre todo a tener mucha Fe. Eso fue lo que me sacó adelante y lo que me ha mantenido hasta el día de hoy (18 años después) gracias a Dios. En términos generales ese era mi perfil en México, sin olvidar que había que demostrarle a todo el mundo y a mi mismo que el hecho de ser gay, no significaba que tenía que verme como mujer, solo que me gustaban los hombres y que tenía otro tipo de gustos. Pero que podía ser igual o mejor que cualquier “Normal” o Heterosexual. Puedo decirles que siempre tuve muy buenas notas en la escuela y que siempre fui seleccionado para representarla en eventos importantes. Laboralmente, he tenido la oportunidad de pertenecer a varias empresas internacionales y tener puestos gerenciales en ellas, cosa que no es fácil, pero que con dedicación y esfuerzo he logrado, sin importar mis orientación sexual y aunque no es algo que ande divulgando, tampoco es algo que escondo. Pero es normal

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

pensar que un hombre de 39 años, soltero, sin hijos y sin novia… ¡¡¡Pues efectivamente!!! Es gay. Puedo decir que de las cosas más difíciles que me ha tocado superar ha sido la presión social y cultural, porque todos hemos sido educados como que ser “gay” es “anormal” y pervertido. Así que he tenido también que trabajar muy duro con muchas personas incluso dentro de la Iglesia Católica para que me acepten como

soy sin reprochar nada, ni intentar cambiarme. Pero gracias a Dios, lo he logrado, o por lo menos hasta el momento. Ahora viene otra etapa de mi vida que también fue muy difícil. El venirme a residir a los Estados Unidos, fue una oportunidad que me dieron en el trabajo y que no “podía, ni debía” rechazar, porque si lo hacía mi futuro profesional se vería seriamente afectado. Así, que sin tener familiares, ni amigos, me tuve que venir a residir a un país diferente y en el cual no conocía a nadie, pero con la esperanza de que en dos años regresaba a mi México querido. El primer año fue difícil, ya que hubo que comenzar todo de nuevo… amistades, conocidos, trabajo, tratamiento medico, etc. Pero después empecé a darme cuenta que las cosas no eran tan malas, que aunque no tenía familia estaba comenzando a hacer algunos buenos amigos y que el servicio médico y la calidad de vida era mucho mejor que la que tenía en mi país, así que tenía que hacer otra decisión. ¿Me regreso o me quedo? Una decisión muy dura, ya que no hubiera podido ser residente legal sin hacerme una prueba del VIH y como iba a salir positiva, pues me iban a negar la residencia. Nuevamente, la Fe y el apoyo de mi familia me impulsaron y tomé el riesgo. Hoy llevo 5 años de ser residente legal, mi familia en Estados Unidos son muchos de los inmigrantes homosexuales, indocumentados y seropositivos que he conocido y gracias a ellos no me siento solo. También he tenido la oportunidad de ayudar con la comunidad inmigrante de la Iglesia a la que pertenezco y tengo un trabajo solvente. Así que le doy gracias a Dios por todas esas bendiciones y por los “regalitos” que me dio para llegar hasta donde estoy, porque estoy seguro que si no los hubiera tenido no estaría aquí en estos momentos.

Alfredo es un contador y amigo de Wind of the Spirit, a el le gusta viajar, ama bailar, disfruta de los museos, las películas, y el teatro. Es voluntario de diferentes organizaciones en el condado de Morris donde también vive. Escribir a Alfredo aquí: Alfredo@gaamc.org.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009 Immigrant, Latino, Catholic, Homosexual, and HIV+!!! Not a Very Good Combination. by Alfredo

Hi, my name is Alfredo and I am originally from Mexico. I am 39 years old and want to briefly share with you the personal meaning of the “gifts” listed above. I can start by saying that as far back as I can remember I have been attracted to members of the same sex but that due to social pressures I did what everyone expects of a “man”: to marry a woman, to have sexual relations with women… This wasn’t for me but I had to gather all of my courage, and despite feeling completely alone, accept myself as I was and ask for forgiveness. Yes, forgiveness, because it is a sin to like people of the same sex as yourself. That is, you’ll go to Hell! It took a few years to overcome this part of my life. Having always attended religious schools, it was not easy to live with this stigma. When I had finished my university studies, I applied for a job at an international company. I underwent the required medical tests and it was at this time that I found out I was HIV positive. I was 21 years old, fresh out of college with my whole life ahead of me, or so I thought. This was not the case. According to what they told me, I had to rethink my future: I wouldn’t have more than 2 more years of life (in the 90s, being diagnosed with HIV was like receiving a death sentence). So once more, I gathered my courage and shared the news with my family. My parents were devastated but they gave me their full support, my sister did the same. I then had to educate myself and above all maintain my faith. It is this faith that has kept me going and that has kept me alive for 18 years, thank God. Generally speaking, this was my profile in Mexico, in addition to the need of showing to the world and to myself that being “gay” doesn’t mean that I must see myself as a woman, only that I like men and that I have different tastes. I was the same as any other “normal” or “heterosexual” person. I had always gotten good grades in school and was always chosen to represent it at important events. In the workplace, I have had the opportunity to belong to many international companies and to hold managerial positions, which haven’t been easy but which I have succeeded at with dedication and effort. Through all this, my sexual orientation has not mattered, although it is not information that I circulate, nor do I hide it either. But it is normal to think that a 39 year old man, single, without a wife or kids, is…gay, of course!

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

I can say that what has been most difficult for me to overcome has been the social and cultural pressure, because we have all been taught that being “gay” is “not normal” and “perverted.” I have even had to work hard with many people within the Catholic Church to be accepted as I am, without being reproached or changed. Thank God I have succeeded, or at least until now. I am now in a new chapter in my life, one that is as difficult as the others have been: coming to live in the United States. It was an opportunity that I was offered at work, and that I “couldn’t and shouldn’t” turn down without damaging my professional future. So, leaving family and friends behind, I came to live in a foreign country where I knew no one, with the hope that in 2 years I would be back in my beloved Mexico. The first year was tough since I had to start from scratch… friendships, acquaintances, work, medical treatment, etc. But after a while, I realized that things weren’t too bad. Despite not having any family with me, I was beginning to make some good friends and the quality of medical care and life in general was much better in the U.S. than in my native country. Now I had to make another decision. Should I stay or should I go back? This was a very difficult decision to make since I could not remain as a legal resident without undergoing an HIV exam, which I knew would come back positive and possibly deny my residency. Again, faith and the support of my family motivated me to take the risk. I have been a legal resident for 5 years, with an American family composed of homosexual immigrants, undocumented and HIV positive, that have made me feel less alone. I have also had the opportunity to help the immigrant community of the church of which I am a member, and have a reliable job. I give thanks to God for all of His blessings and those “gifts” that He has given me. I am sure that without them I would not be where I am today.

Alfredo is an accountant and a friend of Wind of the Spirit. He likes to travel. He loves to dance, enjoys museums, movies, and plays. He also volunteers with different organizations in Morris County where he lives. Write to him at Alfredo@gaamc.org.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Choosing a Therapist Who’s Right for Me by Dahlia Mann, PhD. If you ever find yourself seeking psychological counseling, you may find the process of choosing a therapist a bit daunting. The following guide is designed to help you through the process. Getting referrals. Consider local psychological associations and National Association of Social Workers (NASW) or The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). Each of these organizations requires a state license. Do not choose a relative, friend, supervisor, or colleague as your therapist. Start an online search with PsychologyToday.com, Psychology.com, www.socialworkers.org, and AAMFT.org to name just a few reliable sources. A therapist’s photo, personal statement, and specialties may start to give you a sense of who might be right for you. Degrees are an important baseline in your search but years of experience, internships, specialty training, and personal therapy can be equally important. Personal preferences and biases. Gender, age, ethnicity, relationship status, children, gay or straight, and spiritual affiliations are a few important considerations. Some of these preferences are more important depending on the issue you are presenting. For example, if you are sorting out differences with your partner around parenting, you may want to know if the therapist has raised children. Having a similar experience to you does not always mean they will be more effective but you may feel more comfortable. If you find they are reluctant to answer the more personal questions you may be asking them, they may be a more traditionally oriented therapist, who feels that these questions conflict with the therapeutic process. Gay or gay friendly? This is a challenging consideration. It may depend on your preference and comfort level. Here, the therapist's experience is critical. Feel free to ask their orientation and/or personal experience. Depending on your area of concern, ask how often they have worked with gay or lesbian couples, families, and “coming-out” issues. Listen for the subtle hints. For example, they respond with, “working with heterosexual couples’ issues or gay couples’ issues are basically the same.” Yes, there are similarities but where are the differences? Here the therapist has an opportunity to suggest that at times the presenting issue may be about differences in finance or neatness but the underlying difficulty that fuels the struggle may concern the degree to which one partner is “out” or not with their extended family or at work. This is where the therapist needs experience and awareness of the impact of homophobia, both societal and internalized.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

First telephone call. Make your call and request a time to ask some questions. Most therapists are willing to chat for 10 minutes. If they are unwilling, choose another therapist. If possible, plan on interviewing two therapists but allow a week between each meeting. If you feel comfortable with the first therapist, cancel the second one within an appropriate time. You never know if you might need to call the second therapist in the future. Ask all the practical questions such as: daytime or evening hours, fees, insurance, and availability if there is an emergency. If the questions mentioned above meet most of your criteria, schedule the consultation. Generally, you are expected to pay for the first session. Initial consultation. Trust your intuition but consider this checklist. The therapist should ask questions, actively listen, seek to understand your experience, and make some observations in an empathetic manner. Ask about the therapy process. Will the therapist be active and assist you with making changes and teach you new coping skills? Will they challenge you in a manner that allows you to feel safe, understood, and respected? Intuition counts. Trust your feelings. If you’re not feeling comfortable, consider mentioning it and listen to the response. If you’re unsure, don’t make another appointment. Think it over. See how the therapist handles it, which may give you another clue as to whether you can work together. The therapist needs to facilitate an atmosphere of acceptance, respect, and trust. If you’re unsure, then interview another therapist before you decide.

Dr. Dahlia Mann, is a licensed psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) with extensive experience working in the GLBT Community in NYC and NJ. She works with couples, families, and individuals. Her approach is solution focused, working together with the client to create positive change in their life and relationships. Dr. Mann has a private practice in the Millburn/Springfield area. See ad on page 79.

Lorraine Cannata Certified Clinical Electrologist

(Electrolysis is Forever)

Permanent Hair Removal Hours by Appointment

973-770-3552

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

What is the Excessive Zone? by Lisa O’Connor, MD Why a short article about being “excessive?” One would think an article about being “excessive” would be exceedingly long. Is it not a good thing to have/do more than others? That is almost the American ethos, the defining quality of the Great American Dream. To go from rags to riches implies going from not enough to too much. Dictionary.com defines excessive as “going beyond the usual, necessary, or proper limit or degree; characterized by excess.” How about epistemologically? We inherently know when something goes beyond the norm or is excessive. Sure, it is OK to occasionally over-eat, spend an entire day watching television, or go on a shopping spree. Nevertheless, when does a behavior become “a bad thing?” I believe the answer lies within each of us and our definition of “quality of life.” If one’s behavior takes away from one’s quality of life, it is excessive. For example, continued over-eating, glued to Internet pornography, 24/7 masturbation, etc. That, however, begs the question, “Who are you to determine my quality of life?” Philosophy aside, it is most pragmatic to discuss the merits of determining one’s quality of life. We all have different parameters we inherently use to determine the quality of our life. For some, the number one parameter may be money, for another sex, for yet another, power. In and of themselves, these parameters are neither good nor bad. They just…are. However, when acquisition of those parameters becomes blinders to the rest of the world, it is easy to see the excessive argument of going beyond the usual, necessary, or proper limit or degree. When acquisition of those parameters is so paramount, it limits our ability to do activities of daily living (eating, cleaning, etc); the “excessive argument” is moot. Degrees no longer matter. If your bills are piling up, if you haven’t bathed and forgotten where the shower is, if you have calluses on your calluses, you have entered the Excessive Zone. Long term exposure in the Excessive Zone is indicative of one wanting to escape responsibilities. It is not a healthy place to be. If we neglect ourselves, in toto, how can we attend to others? To propose a syllogism: If the amount of time and energy spent on any single behavior makes it impossible to attend to the needs of others, it is unhealthy. How can we be responsible workers/colleagues? How can we be

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

responsible parents? How can we be responsible partners? If we cannot help another, how can we help ourselves? Therein lies the heart of the definition of “excessive.” If we are indulging in any behavior, and that behavior limits our ability to help ourselves or others, that behavior is unhealthy; it is excessive. So, the next time you are engaging in your favorite responsibility-avoiding behavior, ask yourself these questions: 1) By doing this behavior, am I preventing myself from being able to help others and hence help myself? 2) Am I doing this behavior on a regular basis for the primary purpose of avoiding life’s responsibilities? If you answer, “Yes” to either of those two questions, the behavior is unhealthy; it is excessive, and you may want to consider getting help from family, friends, or a trusted health care provider.

Lisa O’Connor, MD, specializes in treating the medical and mental health care needs of GLBTI clients. To view her website, go to www.healthytransitions.md. See ad on page 106.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Sexual Abuse of Males by Ken Singer Chances are that you are acquainted with hundreds, if not thousands of people. Of all the men you know, how many of them do you think have a history of sexual abuse as a child? Research has identified that one in six men unfortunately have had this experience. But now think of how many men you know who actually have been sexually abused and have told you about it. It is likely that few, if any of them, have disclosed the abuse to you. Chances are that unless you have been in a male survivors’ group or retreat, you may know of just a handful of such survivors, or none at all. If one in six men had heart disease, colon cancer, or some other major illness, there would likely be a huge national crusade to address the problem. Although the sexual abuse of males is significant and affects a large number of people, little is said about it and there are no major public health education campaigns to inform survivors and the public about the problem. Prior to the late ’70s and early ’80s, most people assumed sexual abuse of children was a relatively uncommon phenomenon. Occasionally, the newspapers identified a child molester who had abused a child or two, or a serial pedophile or clergyperson with numerous victims who might make the headlines for a while. Incest was seen as a problem of the rural South, and television talk shows paid scant attention to the topic of sexual victimization. If prisoners were raped in jail, it was seen as a joke: “don’t bend over to pick up the soap in the shower” or “they got what they deserved”. We know now that sexual abuse, particularly of males, is much more prevalent than was believed 20 or 30 years ago. It is also a significant contributing factor in substance abuse, mental health problems, delinquency, and crime. Research is now showing that abuse (trauma) not only affects the way we function but also can change the physical structure of the brain. Male sexual abuse is not talked about much, nor is it the frequent subject of television documentaries. Therefore, male survivors generally do not know that the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors they experience may be very common among other men. This ignorance can bring on a sense of being different, as well as feelings of isolation or shame. It is very gratifying when survivors posting on the MaleSurvivor (www.malesurvivor.org) discussion board, or sharing stories in a healing retreat, hear the “Aha!” go off. They realize that others have had similar experiences or feelings and that they are not unique in their emotions, thoughts, or experiences. It is through the process of gaining knowledge that people can be empowered and overcome the effects of abuse. Knowledge gives you power. When a child is sexually abused, he experiences physical sensations and confusing thoughts and feelings. He usually cannot share them with anyone to help him figure out what is normal or what is not. That is to say, the child needs to explore the abuse with a trained therapist

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

who is experienced in this area. When the child is able to discuss his feelings, thoughts, and experiences with such a professional, he is better able to put the abuse in perspective and move through the healing process. So, for example, if the child enjoyed some of the physical sensations of the sexual abuse, he may tell himself (or the abuser says or implies) that he truly wanted it to happen, or if the abuser was male, that he must be gay for liking the physical feelings. When that child, now an adult, discovers that it is absolutely normal for a boy’s body to respond when his penis is stimulated, he can begin to shake off the belief that he must be gay or that he was in some way responsible for the abuse. And for the boy who is gay, the confusion of his own feelings may be exacerbated by the abuse, thus obstructing his normal sexual development as a healthy gay man. Although there is a misconception among many people that male-on-male sexual abuse will make a boy gay, the truth is, being abused by a male is not a cause of homosexuality. Likewise, those survivors who were abused by a female are not guaranteed to become heterosexual. The abuse is usually a significant disruption of the child’s normal sexual development and can create numerous issues for him at the time, and for years after the abuse ended. Sexual identity confusion is a common theme among survivors and can create uncertainty in many, regardless of their sexual orientation. Sexual abuse is insidious in its nature. It can cause problems with trust, intimacy, sexual thoughts/fantasies, sexual feelings, and behaviors. Many victims of childhood abuse suffer from relationship difficulties, low self-esteem, and self-defeating or selfdestructive behaviors. Many survivors frequently beat themselves up over what they could or should have done back then. Although the abuse may have ended many years earlier, they still replay the abuse in their minds and may resort to self-defeating behaviors such as substance abuse, over-eating, excessive use of pornography, masturbation, or acting out with others, cutting, or self-mutilation. Treating Abuse While there are many more therapists who work with females who have been abused, there are a small number of clinicians who have experience in treating male victims. The field is relatively new as the first book that addressed the issues of male victimization, Victims No Longer by Mike Lew, was published only 21 years ago. There are a number of books written since then and many are about the survivors’ own stories. There are a few that are written for professionals and some for the survivor, written by professionals. You can find these books at the MaleSurvivor.org bookstore, or do a search at Amazon.com or one of the big booksellers to get an idea of what is out there. For most people, a book about male sexual abuse can be a helpful addition to the healing process. A therapist experienced in male victimization can enable the survivor to address the often complex issues in a safe and supportive environment. There are also periodic healing weekends sponsored by MaleSurvivor or therapists like Mike Lew that are held around the country.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

The bottom line as I see it, from working with male survivors for nearly 30 years, is that of regaining control. The survivor lost control to the abuser when the abuse took place. Unfortunately, the residual effects of the abuse can carry on for many years and the problems the survivor encounters over and over again are usually attempts to regain the control that was lost. When the efforts he makes leave him feeling empowered, he is making good choices for himself, rather than making ones that leave him feeling shameful or guilty. This enables him to break the hold that the abuse and the abuser have had over him many years after the abuse ended.

Ken Singer, MSW, is a licensed clinical social worker in Lambertville (Hunterdon County) who has specialized in sexual abuse issues for 30 years. He may be contacted at 609-397-2760 or by e-mail: ken.singer@comcast.net.

Sexual Assault Information Sexual violence is any act (verbal and/or physical) which breaks a person’s trust and/or safety and is sexual in nature. The term “sexual violence” includes: rape, incest, child sexual assault, ritual abuse, date and acquaintance rape, marital or partner rape, sexual harassment, exposure, and voyeurism. Sexual assaults are acts of violence where sex is used as the weapon. Assaults are motivated primarily out of anger and/or a need to feel powerful by controlling, dominating, or humiliating the victim. Victims/survivors of sexual assaults are forced, coerced, and/or manipulated to participate in unwanted sexual activity. Victims/survivors do not cause their assaults and are not to blame. Offenders are responsible for the assaults.

From the Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault (WCASA). WCASA is a membership organization of sexual assault centers and other organizations and individuals throughout Wisconsin who are working to end sexual violence. For information on additional topics or for membership information, contact WCASA at 123 E. Main St., Madison, WI 53703, 608-257-1516. For more information about sexual assault, contact your local sexual assault program. This information may be reproduced.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Choosing the Right Health Care Provider Is Important by Tom Ziering, MD, FAAFP If you think about it, aside from your partner, closest friend, or perhaps your therapist, there are few people with whom you might share your deepest concerns or thoughts. Many of us spend hours obsessing about health concerns or emotional issues without “reaching out” to those who can best be of help. When I was in medical school, I developed a case of viral meningitis. Thinking I was being a “good patient,” I disclosed to the attending physician that I was, indeed, a gay man. Even though I knew as a second year medical student that I had a simple case of viral meningitis and was probably not at risk, I was immediately labeled as an AIDS patient with end-stage brain disease, put in strict isolation, and given a lifespan of 2 months. The doctors who cared for me did not want to hear about my medical history. Various specialists walked in and out without introduction or discussion of my health issues. The mere mention of being gay so swayed those entrusted with my care that they completely lost their medical objectivity in making a proper diagnosis. I even suffered the humiliation of being told by gastroenterologist during an endoscopy that “what I was doing” was wrong; my life and future were dismissed as lost and worthless. I remained “terminal” in the hospital for two weeks until the final innocuous diagnosis was made of viral meningitis. Twenty-four years later, I use that story to emphasize how essential it is to have a PCP (primary care provider) who you are comfortable with both from an intelligence standpoint and also from a communication standpoint. It is essential that you feel comfortable sharing your background with your physician without feeling “judged” or hindered. A full sexual history is part of the routine medical history of each and every new patient and may help dictate what specific medical and social issues need to be addressed before the exam. During the exam, additional tests or procedures may be recommended given your life experiences. If you are transgendered, it is essential that you find a physician who is comfortable dealing with the unique requirements of your body. Being honest about the social structure of your families of origin and of choice only helps to enforce your medical proxy rights in this era of marriage equality uncertainty. You want to know that your PCP is going to do the best for you and by you both as your trusted physician and as a concerned friend. We are fortunate in New Jersey that we have an excellent health care system. Finding a good doctor is relatively easy; finding a doctor that fits your personal health needs may be a little more difficult. Having an out GLBTI physician is not essential; having a GLBTI affirming physician is! Do your research: check with friends in the community, check the Internet (GLMA—the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association—has a website: www.glma.org) and interview your potential PCP to see if you feel comfortable with them. Good health care is a right, not a privilege!

Thomas S. Ziering, MD, FAAFP is a Board Certified Family Practitioner with a Private Practice located in Bernardsville, New Jersey. He is an Associate Clinical Professor in Family Medicine for both New Jersey Medical School and the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School. See ad on page 105.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Asexual Community Seeks Acceptance by David Jay Around the world, people have started using the term “asexual” with pride. For the past several years asexual people have been gathering online at www.asexuality.org to find support, build a community, and work for acceptance. An asexual person is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. That means that we do not have any intrinsic desire to make sex a part of our relationships. Asexuality works like any other sexual orientation; most of us were born this way, and we have no desire to change. For this reason, most asexual people see ourselves as a part of the GLBT Community. As the asexual community has grown we have sought to partner with GLBT organizations around the world. For most of us, myself included, realizing that we are asexual can be a frightening experience. We live in a society that puts a very strong emphasis on sex as a key part of everything from exploring our identities to falling in love. We are few stories in our culture of people living nonsexual lives which are happy and fulfilled, and that can be intimidating. As the asexual community grows, we are rapidly writing those stories. The stories are diverse. Many of us still experience strong romantic attraction. We often identify as gay-asexual, bi-asexual, or straight-asexual depending on who we are romantically attracted to. Some of us think that sex is icky, and others just find sex boring. Most of all, there is diversity in how we approach the complicated topic of nonsexual intimacy. There are a lot of ways to fall in love (or just have a fun evening) if sex isn’t an appealing part of the picture. Many asexual people are old-school romantics. We flirt, giggle, date, under communicate, work it out, and live happily ever after just like everyone else. It’s not uncommon for asexual people to hook up online, and a handful of couples from the community have already gotten married. Many asexual people also form romantic relationships with sexual people, and with clear communication and compromise on both sides these relationships also tend to work out. Others of us take a less traditional route. The nice thing about nonsexual intimacy is that it happens everywhere, not just with a partner. Rather than focusing on romantic relationships, some of us keep intimacy in our lives by building and maintaining close-knit communities. Nurturing communities is its own art form, and when we spend as much time thinking about it as most people spend thinking about sex it tends to come naturally and be deeply

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

fulfilling. This means that the word “single” rarely gets used in the asexual community; there is just a sliding scale between people who focus on finding intimacy from partners and those who focus on finding it in communities. As a relatively new community, we are eager to find allies and create awareness. Our goal is to build a completely open, completely honest public discussion about asexuality. So do us a favor, bring this article up in casual conversation. If you can casually chat with your friends about the fact that asexuality exists it will go a long way towards creating acceptance for our community, and in the end that acceptance will benefit us all.

David Jay is the founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (www.asexuality.org). He is currently studying sustainable business at the Presidio School of Management. He lives in the San Francisco bay area. David can be reached at davidgljay@gmail.com.

Morris County NOW Supporting Gay Rights & Same Sex Marriage JOIN MORRIS COUNTY NOW PO Box 394 Morristown, New Jersey 07960 973‐285‐1200 MorrisCountyNOW@hotmail.com

www.morriscountynow.org

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

The Eric Johnson Houseâ&#x20AC;Ś Responding Compassionately and Responsibly to the HIV/AIDS Crisis in New Jersey. by Laurie Litt-Robbins, MSW, LCSW Who We Are The AIDS Residence Coalition of Morris County, Inc. was incorporated in January 1992 for the purpose of developing and operating The Eric Johnson House. The corporation has since changed its name to The Eric Johnson House, Inc. Our original mission was to provide transitional housing with supportive services for people living with HIV/AIDS. With advances in the care of HIV/AIDS and the advent of new medications, The Eric Johnson House programs began to expand to meet the life-long needs of people living with HIV/AIDS. Recently, we realized that we had far exceeded our original mission and changed The Eric Johnson House mission statement to accurately reflect the range of services we were providing to the community. Our new mission is to respond compassionately and responsibly to the HIV/AIDS crisis by providing supportive services, housing opportunities, prevention strategies, and community education in New Jersey. Our work directly benefits the local community, through three core service areas: 1) Residential, 2) Community Case Management, and 3) Education and Prevention. The Eric Johnson House Transitional Housing Program opened its doors on October 19, 1994. Continued need for our services is undeniably evident. In the 14 years since the agency opened, over 900 requests for housing services have been received. Of these referrals, 172 unduplicated individuals received housing and supportive services. Currently, there are 10 residents living in the Transitional Housing Program of The Eric Johnson House. Follow up by our Case Management staff found that of the 162 individuals that have moved on from The Eric Johnson House, 81 (50%) are still currently housed, 35 (22%) are deceased, 12 (8%) are in other placements (e.g. jail, hospital, etc.) and the whereabouts of the remaining 32 (20%) are unknown. Of the 35 past residents that are deceased, 34 were housed prior to their deaths; increasing the total number of individuals housed to 115 (71%). When you consider the multitude of problems our clients must overcome, it is truly amazing to boast a 71% success rate.

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

How We Help The Transitional Housing Program is designed for persons with HIV/AIDS who are homeless due to their HIV status and has the capacity to house 10 people at a time. The Transitional Housing Program of The Eric Johnson House, located in the former rectory of the Church of the Redeemer in Morristown, provides housing, food, and supportive services to individuals from the State of New Jersey for up to a maximum of 24 months and assists in locating permanent housing. This Program provides a stable living environment and adequate nutritional needs, so individuals are free to focus on tending to their medical needs. Individuals who enter our Transitional Housing Program come primarily from living on the streets, places not meant for human habitation, or from emergency shelters. Without the proposed housing and intensive support provided by The Eric Johnson House, these individuals with HIV/AIDS would not be able to regain control of their lives, thus falling through the cracks, caught in a vicious cycle of chronic homelessness. Through our Permanent Housing Program for low-income HIV positive people, The Eric Johnson House administers housing assistance to help off-set the costs of independent living in Morris County. HIV positive persons may apply for and receive assistance through the following housing programs: Shelter + Care, State Rental Assistance Program (SRAP) and Housing Opportunities for Persons with AIDS (HOPWA). Most of the individuals and families enrolled in our Permanent Housing Program contribute approximately 30% of their income toward rental expenses. In order to ensure continued health and housing stability for program participants once they leave the Transitional Housing Program and enter permanent housing, they maintain involvement with The Eric Johnson House through our Community Case Management Program. This Program includes weekly phone contact and monthly home visits by the Case Management staff for a minimum of six months. All Community Case Management participants are offered a full range of services including Substance Abuse and Mental Health counseling. Additionally, all participants in the Program are invited back to The Eric Johnson House monthly for dinner, food basket distribution, and an HIV peer support group facilitated by the Case Management staff. In the past year, 49 clients have returned to The Eric Johnson House 1,457 times to receive case management services, substance abuse counseling, mental health counseling, food baskets, and general support.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Additionally, an average of 16 individuals attended the monthly HIV peer support group. The Eric Johnson House has established a Community Education and Prevention Program that aims to educate the community-at-large about the ongoing HIV/AIDS crisis in America and to provide up-to-date information on prevention strategies, community impact and involvement, and treatment options. The staff of The Eric Johnson House visit schools, religious institutions, community organizations, and corporations throughout the year to help educate youth and adult populations about HIV/AIDS. A comprehensive presentation is given detailing the modes of transmission, risky behaviors, and general HIV/AIDS facts. This is followed by an experiential presentation given by a client of The Eric Johnson House discussing their experiences living with HIV and what led them to The Eric Johnson House. While our clients are already infected with HIV, it is our aim to prevent future infections in others. The key to stopping the spread of HIV is to inform people of the risk factors, give them the tools to make healthier life choices, and prevent them from contracting the disease. Last year, we provided direct care to more than 50 individuals living with HIV/AIDS and community education and prevention services to over 550 people. A recent evaluation of a community presentation given at another local non-profit organization indicated that “it was the best training staff attended that was offered at our agency. All of the surveys were positive and all day afterward, people came up to me and complimented the wonderful job you did in explaining such a difficult topic.” There is still so much more that needs to be done. With half of the new HIV infections worldwide occurring in people under the age of 25, it is clear that our youth education and prevention program can help this vulnerable population make healthier life choices.

Get Involved—Make a Difference Without the involvement of numerous volunteers and donors who further our mission by donating their time, talent, and efforts, The Eric Johnson House programs and operations would not be possible. We understand that each volunteer comes with unique interests, skills, and passions. That is why The Eric Johnson House offers many levels of involvement designed to tap into those strengths and connect people to opportunities that fit their individual needs.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Types of Volunteer Opportunities Preparing Meals for Residents Friday/Saturday Evening Overnight House Coverage Transportation of Clients to Appointments Office Support / Data Entry Yard Work / Gardening Cleaning and Painting Projects Fundraising Projects Special Event Volunteer Participant in the New Jersey AIDS Walk Photographer at Events For more information on The Eric Johnson House or to GET INVOLVED please be sure to visit our website at www.theericjohnsonhouse.org.

Laurie Litt-Robbins has been the Executive Director of The Eric Johnson House since its inception in 1994. She received her Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from Boston University and her Masters Degree in Social Work from Yeshiva University. In addition, Laurie has completed post graduate course work in non-profit management and is licensed by the State of New Jersey as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). See ad on page 73.

Tibbie Reynolds Experienced Piano Instructor Lessons from Beginner to Advanced Intermediate

Excellent with Children

Morris County Area 973-539-7064

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Blood Donation by Axel Torres Marrero As a Latin gay man, I never thought I would ever see the day gay couples could get married in any state of our union. I quietly celebrate every victory obtained by our civil rights warriors by reminding my partner that one day we will argue over hyphenated last names. As a public health professional, I am dumbstruck that I will have the legal right to marry my partner but not to donate blood! Gay men remain banned for life from donating blood. The government has left in place a 1983 prohibition meant to prevent the spread of HIV through transfusions. The Food and Drug Administration remains committed to a long-standing policy more than three years after the Red Cross and other blood groups criticized the policy as medically and scientifically unwarranted. Before giving blood, all men are asked if they have had sex, even once, with another man since 1977. If I am not mistaken, that’s probably 90% of us. Those of us who say we have are permanently banned from donating. The FDA says that we are at an increased risk of infection by HIV that can be transmitted to others by blood transfusion. In March 2006, the Red Cross, the international blood association, AABB, and America’s Blood Centers proposed replacing the lifetime ban with a one-year deferral following male-to-male sexual contact. New and improved tests, which can detect HIV-positive donors within a few days makes the ban unnecessary. Additionally, all donated blood is tested for HIV, because the collection agency can’t rely on all donors to be truthful or even well-informed about their sexual activity. Hyacinth AIDS Foundation is in full support of the one-year deferral. It’s a step in the right direction. The FDA said HIV tests currently in use are highly accurate but still cannot detect the virus 100 percent of the time. The estimated HIV risk from a unit of blood is currently about one per 2 million in the United States, according to the agency. Hyacinth AIDS Foundation believes the exclusionary policy bars potential healthy donors, despite the increasing need for donated blood, and discriminates against gay men. The FDA recognized the policy defers many healthy donors but rejected the suggestion it’s discriminatory. Anyone who’s used intravenous drugs or has paid for sex is also barred from donating blood. I guess we still are all in the same category. Sound familiar?

Axel Torres Marrero is the Senior Director of Public Policy at Hyacinth AIDS Foundation. www.Hyacinth.org. He may be reached at amarrero@hyacinth.org.

See ad on page 72.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Additional Comments “Blood from GLBT donors is no more likely to be HIV positive than from that of the general population. That fact was drilled into me as a medical student in the late 1980s. The only things that have changed since then is improved testing to detect infected blood and a decreased incidence of HIV among the GLBT community. The inmates are running the asylum.” —Lisa O’Connor, MD

Healthy Transitions “It’s embarrassing. Medical policy is being dictated by extreme conservative paranoia at the expense of saving lives. Apparently they do not let facts get in the way of policy.” —Lisa O’Connor, MD

Healthy Transitions “The ban on gay blood donors is homophobic rather than based on facts. It blankets a whole grouping of people implying that all gay men carry HIV/AIDS. It’s a quiet prejudice that’s been going on too long. If a remark about Jews or Blacks were made saying ALL are the same there would be outcry. Because many people don’t know about this issue, it has not gotten the press and attention it deserves. Since HIV testing was made possible, gay men should be able to give blood like anyone else.”

—Debbie Williamson, RN Assistant Director Institute for Personal Growth

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Following are the health issues GLMA’s healthcare providers have identified as most commonly of concern for lesbians. While not all of these items apply to everyone, it’s wise to be aware of these issues. 1. Breast Cancer Lesbians have the richest concentration of risk factors for breast cancer than any subset of women in the world.* Combine this with the fact that many lesbians over 40 do not get routine mammograms, do breast self-exams, or have a clinical breast exam, and this cancer may elude early diagnosis, when it is most curable. 2. Depression/Anxiety Lesbians have been shown to experience chronic stress from homophobic discrimination. This stress is compounded by the need that some still have to hide their orientation from family and colleagues at work, and by the fact that many lesbians have lost the important emotional support most others get from their families due to alienation stemming from their sexual orientation. 3. Heart Health Smoking and obesity are the most prevalent risk factors for heart disease among lesbians; but all lesbians need to also get an annual clinical exam because this is when blood pressure is checked, cholesterol is measured, diabetes is diagnosed, and exercise is discussed. Preventing heart disease, which kills 45 percent of women, should be paramount to every clinical visit. 4. Gynecological Cancer Lesbians have higher risks for many of the gynecologic cancers. What they may not know is that having a yearly exam by a gynecologist can significantly facilitate early diagnosis and a better chance of recovery. 5. Fitness Research confirms that lesbians have higher body mass than heterosexual women. Obesity is associated with higher rates of heart disease, cancers, and premature death. What lesbians need is competent and supportive advice about healthy living and healthy eating, as well as healthy exercise. 6. Tobacco Research also indicates that lesbians may use tobacco and smoking products more often than heterosexual women use them. Whether smoking is used as a tension reducer or for social interactions, addiction frequently follows and is associated with higher rates of cancers, heart disease, and emphysema—the three major causes of death among all women.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

7. Alcohol Alcohol use and abuse may be higher among lesbians. While one drink daily may be good for the heart, more than that can be a risk factor for cancer or osteoporosis. 8. Substance Use Research indicates that lesbians may use illicit drugs more often than heterosexual women. This may be due to added stressors in lesbian lives from discrimination. Lesbians need support from each other and from health care providers to find healthy releases, quality recreation, stress reduction, and coping techniques. 9. Domestic Violence Domestic violence is reported to occur in approximately 11 percent of lesbian homes, about half the rate of 20 percent reported by heterosexual women. But the question is where do lesbians go when they are battered? Shelters need to welcome and include battered lesbians and offer counseling to the offending partners. 10. Osteoporosis The rates and risks of osteoporosis among lesbians have not been well characterized yet. Calcium and weight-bearing exercise as well as the avoidance of tobacco and alcohol are the mainstays of prevention. It is also important to get bone density tests every few years to see if medication is needed to prevent fracture.

Author: Katherine A. O’Hanlan, MD, Former President, GLMA, Co-Founder, Lesbian Health Fund, Gynecologist, Portola Valley, CA.

*Editor’s note (from www.acon.org.au): The most significant risk factors for developing breast cancer include: • Getting older • Having a strong family history of breast cancer • Having previously been diagnosed with breast cancer • Never having birthed a child • Obesity • Smoking • Alcohol use It’s important to note that being a lesbian or same-sex attracted woman in itself does not increase the risk of breast cancer. However, research indicates that lesbians are less likely to have children, more likely to smoke and more likely to engage in harmful alcohol consumption.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Following are the health issues GLMA’s healthcare providers have identified as most commonly of concern for transgendered persons. While not all of these items apply to everyone, it’s wise to be aware of these issues. 1. Access to Health Care transgendered persons are often reluctant to seek medical care through a traditional provider-patient relationship. Some are even turned away by providers. A doctor who refuses to treat a trans person may be acting out of fear and transphobia, or may have a religious bias against GLBT patients. It’s also possible that the doctor simply doesn’t have the knowledge or experience he needs. Furthermore, health care related to transgender issues is usually not covered by insurance, so it is more expensive. Whatever the reasons, transgendered people have sometimes become very ill because they were afraid to visit their providers. 2. Health History Trans persons may hide important details of their health history from their doctors. Perhaps they fear being denied care if their history is known. Even many years after surgery, they may omit the history of their transition when seeing a new provider. Patients should see their provider as an equal partner in their health care, not as a gatekeeper or an obstacle to be overcome. 3. Hormones Cross-gender hormone therapy gives desirable feminizing (or masculinizing) effects but carries its own unique risks. Estrogen has the potential to increase the risk of blood clotting, high blood pressure, elevated blood sugar, and water retention. Anti-androgens such as spironolactone can produce dehydration, low blood pressure, and electrolyte disturbances. Testosterone, especially when given orally or in high doses, carries the risk of liver damage. Hormone use should be appropriately monitored by the patient and provider. Some trans people tend to obtain hormones and other treatment through indirect means, bypassing the health care system. Taking hormones without supervision can result in doses too high or too low, with undesired results. 4. Cardiovascular Health Trans persons may be at increased risk for heart attack or stroke, not only from hormone use but from cigarette smoking, obesity, hypertension, and failure to monitor cardiovascular risks. Trans women may fear that a provider who finds them at risk for cardiovascular disease will instruct them to stop their hormones, and so they do not seek medical attention even when they have early warning signs of heart disease or stroke.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

5. Cancer Hormone-related cancer (breast in trans women, liver in women or men) is very rare but should be included in health screening. A greater worry is cancer of the reproductive organs. Trans men who have not had removal of the uterus, ovaries, or breasts are still at risk to develop cancer of these organs. Trans women remain at risk, although low, for cancer of the prostate. Furthermore, some providers are uncomfortable with treating such cancers in trans people. Some cases have been reported in which persons delay seeking treatment, or are refused treatment, until the cancer has spread. 6. STDs and Safe Sex Trans people, especially youth, may be rejected by their families and find themselves homeless. They may be forced into sex work to make a living, and therefore are at high risk for STDs, including HIV. Other trans people may practice unsafe sex when they are beginning to experience sexuality in their desired gender. Safe sex is still possible even in transgender relationships. 7. Alcohol and Tobacco Alcohol abuse is common in transgendered people who experience family and social rejection, as well as the depression which accompanies such rejection. Alcohol combined with sex hormone administration increases the risk of liver damage. Tobacco use is high among all trans persons, especially those who use tobacco to maintain weight loss. Risks of heart attack and stroke are increased in persons who smoke tobacco and take estrogen or testosterone. 8. Depression/Anxiety For many reasons, trans people are particularly prone to depression and anxiety. In addition to loss of family and friends, they face job stress and the risk of unemployment. Trans people who have not transitioned and remain in their birth gender are very prone to depression and anxiety. Suicide is a risk, both prior to transition and afterward. One of the most important aspects of the transgender therapy relationship is management of depression and/or anxiety. 9. Injectable Silicone Some trans women want physical feminization without having to wait for the effects of estrogen. They expect injectable silicone to give them “instant curves.” The silicone, often administered at “pumping parties” by non-medical persons, may migrate in the tissues and cause disfigurement years later. It is usually not medical grade, may contain many contaminants, and is often injected using a shared needle. Hepatitis or HIV may be spread through the use of such needles. 10. Fitness (Diet & Exercise) Many trans people are sedentary and overweight. Exercise is not a priority, and they may be working long hours to support their transitions. A healthy diet and a frequent exercise routine are just as important for trans persons as for the public. Exercise prior to sex reassignment surgery will reduce a person’s operative risk and promote faster recovery.

Author: Rebecca A. Allison, MD, Board of Directors, Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, American Medical Association, Advisory Committee on GLBT Issues Interventional Cardiologist, Phoenix, Arizona.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Following are the health issues GLMA’s healthcare providers have identified as most commonly of concern for gay men. While not all of these items apply to everyone, it’s wise to be aware of these issues. 1. HIV/AIDS, Safe Sex That men who have sex with men are at an increased risk of HIV infection is well known but the effectiveness of safe sex in reducing the rate of HIV infection is one of the gay community’s great success stories. However, the last few years have seen the return of many unsafe sex practices. While effective HIV treatments may be on the horizon, there is no substitute for preventing infection. Safe sex is proven to reduce the risk of receiving or transmitting HIV. All health care professionals should be aware of how to counsel and support maintenance of safe sex practices. 2. Substance Use Gay men use substances at a higher rate than the general population, and not just in larger communities such as New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. These include a number of substances ranging from amyl nitrate (“poppers”), to marijuana, Ecstasy, and amphetamines. The long-term effects of many of these substances are unknown; however current wisdom suggests potentially serious consequences as we age. 3. Depression/Anxiety Depression and anxiety appear to affect gay men at a higher rate than in the general population. The likelihood of depression or anxiety may be greater, and the problem may be more severe for those men who remain in the closet or who do not have adequate social supports. Adolescents and young adults may be at particularly high risk of suicide because of these concerns. Culturally sensitive mental health services targeted specifically at gay men may be more effective in the prevention, early detection, and treatment of these conditions. 4. Hepatitis Immunization Men who have sex with men are at an increased risk of sexually transmitted infection with the viruses that cause the serious condition of the liver known as hepatitis. These infections can be potentially fatal, and can lead to very serious long-term issues such as cirrhosis and liver cancer. Fortunately, immunizations are available to prevent two of the three most serious viruses. Universal immunization for Hepatitis A Virus and Hepatitis B Virus is recommended for all men who have sex with men. Safe sex is effective at reducing the risk of viral hepatitis, and is currently the only means of prevention for the very serious Hepatitis C Virus. 5. STDs Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) occur in sexually active gay men at a high rate. This includes STD infections for which effective treatment is available (syphilis, gonorrhea,

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

chlamydia, pubic lice, and others), and for which no cure is available (HIV, Hepatitis A, B, or C virus, human papilloma virus, etc.). There is absolutely no doubt that safe sex reduces the risk of sexually transmitted diseases, and prevention of these infections through safe sex is key. 6. Prostate, Testicular, and Colon Cancer Gay men may be at risk for death by prostate, testicular, or colon cancer. Screening for these cancers occurs at different times across the life cycle, and access to screening services may be negatively impacted because of issues and challenges in receiving culturally sensitive care for gay men. All gay men should undergo these screenings routinely as recommended for the general population. 7. Alcohol Although more recent studies have improved our understanding of alcohol use in the gay community, it is still thought that gay men have higher rates of alcohol dependence and abuse than straight men. One drink daily may not adversely affect health, however alcoholrelated illnesses can occur with low levels of consumption. Culturally sensitive services targeted to gay men are important in successful prevention and treatment programs. 8. Tobacco Recent studies seem to support the notion that gay men use tobacco at much higher rates than straight men, reaching nearly 50 percent in several studies. Tobacco-related health problems include lung disease and lung cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure, and a whole host of other serious problems. All gay men should be screened for and offered culturally sensitive prevention and cessation programs for tobacco use. 9. Fitness (Diet and Exercise) Problems with body image are more common among gay men than their straight counterparts, and gay men are much more likely to experience an eating disorder such as bulimia or anorexia nervosa. While regular exercise is very good for cardiovascular health and in other areas, too much of a good thing can be harmful. The use of substances such as anabolic steroids and certain supplements can adversely affect health. At the opposite end of the spectrum, overweight and obesity are problems that also affect a large subset of the gay community. This can cause a number of health problems, including diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease. 10. Anal Papilloma Of all the sexually transmitted infections gay men are at risk for, human papilloma virus— which cause anal and genital warts—is often thought to be little more than an unsightly inconvenience. However, these infections may play a role in the increased rates of anal cancers in gay men. Some health professionals now recommend routine screening with anal Pap smears, similar to the test done for women to detect early cancers. Safe sex should be emphasized. Treatments for HPV do exist but recurrences of the warts are very common, and the rate at which the infection can be spread between partners is very high.

Author: Vincent M. B. Silenzio, MD, MPH, Former Member Board of Directors, GLMA and Former Co-Editor, Journal of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Sex Crimes & New Jersey Law Aggravated Sexual Assault (1st Degree Felony—10 to 20 years in prison) 1. 2.

Victim is less than 13 Victim is at least 13 but less than 16 if: a. Actor is related by blood b. Actor has supervisory power over victim c. Actor is guardian Act is committed during commission of another crime (ex. robbery). Actor is armed with a weapon or object that will lead victim to believe it is a weapon and threatens to use it by word or gesture. Drugs and alcohol are considered weapons in sexual assault, making their use equal to Aggravated Sexual Assault. Actor is aided or abetted by 1 or more persons. a. Actor uses physical force b. Victim is physically or mentally handicapped Severe personal injury to victim

3. 4. 5. 6.

Sexual Assault (2nd Degree Felony—5 to 10 years in prison) 1. 2. 3.

Actor uses physical force/coercion but victim does not sustain severe personal injury. Actor should have known that victim was physically/mentally handicapped. Victim is on probation or in an institution and/or mentally defective and actor has supervisory power. Victim is at least 16, but less than 18, and actor is member of victim’s household in a supervisory position. Victim is at least 13, but less than 16, and actor is at least 4 years older than the victim.

4. 5.

Aggravated Criminal Sexual Contact

(3rd Degree Felony—3 to 5 years in

prison): Actor commits act of sexual contact with victim under any circumstances set forth under Aggravated Sexual Assault points (2) through (6).

Criminal Sexual Contact

(4th Degree Felony—up to 18 months in prison):

Occurs when an actor commits an act of sexual contact with the victim under any circumstances set under Sexual Assault points (1) through (5).

Definitions Used in Defining Sexual Assault: “Actor”—a person accused of an offense proscribed under this act of SA. “Victim”—a person alleging to have been subjected to offenses proscribed under this act of Sexual Assault. “Sexual Penetration”—vaginal/anal intercourse, oral sex, or insertion of object or body part into vagina/anus by the actor or upon the actor’s instruction. “Sexual Contact”—intentional touching (actor to victim or vice versa) either directly or through clothing, of the victim’s or actor’s intimate parts for the purpose of degrading/humiliating the victim or sexually arousing/gratifying the actor. “Intimate Parts”—the following body parts: sexual organs, genital area, anal area, inner thigh, groin, buttock, or breast of a person.

Sexual Assault Support Services 71 Fourth Street Somerville, NJ 08876 Phone 908-526-2335 x 130

Hotline 908-526-7444

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

DATE RAPE DRUGS BE AWARE Never leave drinks unattended Never accept drinks in open containers Drinks from waiters and bartenders are not always safe Never “bum” or accept cigarettes from others

IF YOU FEEL… Disproportionately intoxicated Extremely nauseous or dizzy Suddenly confused or ill

...IMMEDIATELY GET HELP—YOUR TIME TO ACT IS LIMITED. Tell more than one person that you need medical attention Do not go to a restroom or isolate yourself Do not tell only your date or only one stranger Do not put all of your trust in one good Samaritan

IF YOU BELIEVE SOMEONE HAS BEEN DRUGGED Get him or her immediate medical attention Do NOT leave him or her for any reason Keep his or her beverage for drug testing

Sexual Assault Support Services 71 Fourth Street Somerville, NJ 08876 Phone 908-526-2335 x 130

Hotline 908-526-7444

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Adopting Progress by Melissa B. Brisman and Lauren Cuozzo Nine years ago, I founded a reproductive law firm dedicated to assisting individuals and couples who are unable to conceive and bear a child without the assistance of a third party—an ovum or sperm donor, a gestational carrier, and sometimes a combination of two or all three. We refer to these individuals and couples as “intended parents.” My firm provides a variety of services for these intended parents, including matching intended parents with gestational carriers, drafting contracts between intended parents and their gestational carriers and/or donors, and filing court actions on behalf of intended parents seeking legal declarations of maternity and paternity or orders of adoption. Naturally, a portion of my client base has always been gay and lesbian individuals and couples who need the services of donors and gestational carriers. During the past nine years, I have witnessed tremendous legal strides made in the recognition and treatment of same-sex couples in the area of reproductive law. Back in 2005, I represented a same-sex male couple who were having a child through a gestational carrier. I filed an action in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania seeking a declaration of paternity for both men so that they would both be recognized as legal parents of their child to be born. It was important to the men that they be recognized as the legal parents of their child from the moment of birth so that, in the event there were complications, they would have the authority to make medical decisions for the child together. In the absence of a declaration of paternity, they would not be authorized to make those medical decisions together and one or both of the men would have to adopt their own child. At that time, succeeding in this type of action was an uphill battle, which thankfully, we won. Happily, times have changed. Now, in contrast to my experience in 2005, a number of courts in Pennsylvania are willing to recognize the legal parentage of same-sex male couples. Similarly, in Massachusetts, courts are far more willing to recognize the legal parentage of a same-sex male couple, especially if they are legally married. Furthermore, in Massachusetts, two women legally married to each other are both automatically recognized as the parents on the birth certificate of a child that is born to them within their marriage. New Jersey and Massachusetts are equally favorable in this area. If you are a same-sex female couple in New Jersey, and you are either in a civil union or otherwise legally married, you are both automatically placed on the birth certificate of a child born to you within the marriage. However, in both states, it is always a good idea to complete an adoption as well. Other states with less favorable laws are more likely to be compelled to recognize and honor valid adoptions and the legal parent-child relationship that they create. Massachusetts and New Jersey have clearly become open to legal recognition of “alternative” families. It is my belief that New York is also trending in this

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

direction. In May of 2008, New York Governor David Paterson issued an order and memorandum to New York state agencies directing those agencies to give full faith and credit to legal same-sex marriages. The memorandum advised those agencies to review their policy statements and regulations ‘to ensure that terms such as ‘spouse,’ ‘husband,’ and ‘wife’ are construed in a manner that encompasses legal same-sex marriages.” Six months later, a female couple came to my office. They were residents of New York who were married in Canada and they were nearly nine months pregnant. While one partner had supplied the eggs and was the biological mother of the child, the other partner carried the pregnancy and was to be the birth mother. With Governor Paterson’s order in place, I sought a legal declaration of maternity for both women and a court order that both women’s names should appear on their child’s original birth certificate. As a result of this action, the New York State Department of Health published a new policy stating that married, female same-sex couples shall be named as parents on the birth certificates of their children. This was a substantial step forward for New York State. It remains to be seen what will develop in this area in Connecticut following the court decision in October of 2008 legalizing same-sex marriage. That decision may be a springboard for reproductive attorneys like myself to make inroads in the state. Progress is progress—whether it is made in a week, a year, or eleven years. Progress is made possible by couples who are willing to step up to the plate and share the details of their lives with a court of law and ask that court of law to make a decision that challenges the status quo. It is by no means an easy thing to do but to many couples, the potential reward is well worth the risk.

Melissa B. Brisman practices exclusively in the field of reproductive law. Her practice is located in Park Ridge, NJ, offering a full range of services, including matching carriers with intended parents. Melissa Brisman can be reached at info@reproductivelawyer.com and www.reproductivelawyer.com. See ad on page 124. Lauren Cuozzo is an attorney licensed to practice in New York and New Jersey. She is an associate at the firm, Melissa B. Brisman, Esq., LLC, and focuses her practice solely on transactional and litigation work associated with reproductive law. Ms. Cuozzo can be reached at laurenc@reproductivelawyer.com.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

E N T E R T A I N M E N T /E V E N T S

Save the Date

Gay Pride Rockland

Sunday, June 14, 2009 Visit our website at www.gaypriderockland.org  Check out Gay Pride Rockland events held throughout the year!  Post your GLBT* friendly event to the free Community Events Calendar  View the Directory of GLBT* Friendly Businesses, Services, and Community Organizations  Become an online Directory advertiser

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

E N T E R T A I N M E N T /E V E N T S

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

GAAMC and Other Events 2009: Monday, May 25, 7:30pm. GAAMC annual Memorial Day BBQ Social. Monday, June 1, 7:30pm. GAAMC program. Storytelling Workshop with Tim Tyler. Friday, June 5. Jersey’s Pride Weekend starts in Asbury Park. www.jerseypride.org. Sunday, June 7, 11:00-7:00pm. NJ’s 18th Annual GLBTI Pride Celebration in Asbury park. March behind the GAAMC banner in the Parade! Come visit our table at the Festival! See ad on page 53. Monday, June 8, 7:30pm. GAAMC Film Festival: When Beliefs Are Questioned. Sunday, June 14. Gay Pride Rockland. See ad on page 52. Monday, June 15, 7:30pm. GAAMC Lively Arts Series “Flip” — Original play/talk-back. Sun-Sun, June 21-28. New York City Pride Week 2009, including Rally, March, Festival, and two Dances on the Pier. It's the 40th Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. www.nycpride.org. Monday, June 22, 8:30pm. GAAMC program. Hudson Pride Connections comes to visit. Sunday, June 28, Noon. The 40th Annual GLBT Pride March. Kickoff at 5th Ave and 52nd St. down 5th Ave, ending at Christopher and Greenwich Streets. Come march with GAAMC! Monday, July 6, 7:00pm. GAAMC annual Independence Day Ice Cream Social. Monday, August 3, 8:30pm. GAAMC special program. Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey performs The Taming of the Shrew. Saturday, August 29, Noon-8:00pm. Downtown Jersey City. JCLGO’s ninth Annual Pride Festival. “Change = Possibility” Jersey City Lesbian and Gay Outreach. www.jclgo.org. See ad on page 29. Monday, August 31, 7:30pm. GAAMC Film Festival: Hello Dolly! Sing-a-long. Monday, September 7, 7:00pm. GAAMC annual Labor Day Social. Monday, September 14, 7:30pm. GAAMC’s 37th Anniversary. Monday, September 21, 8:30pm. GAAMC special program. Our 25th Annual $1.98 Beauty Pageant. You don’t want to miss this spectacular extravaganza! Contestants compete in three categories: Casual Wear, Talent/No Talent, and Formal Wear. See back cover. Monday, September 28, 7:00pm. GAAMC special program, “Gay 101...for Parents” will include presentations by several panelists, followed by a town hall meeting format question and answered period. Adults only, please. Wednesday, September 30. All GAAMC memberships expire. Renew early. See centerfold. Sunday, October 11. National Coming Out Day (NCOD). Come Out! Come Out ! Where ever you are! Monday, October 12, 7:30pm. GAAMC program. Vote Your Issues: Candidates Forum. Monday, October 26, 7:00pm. GAAMC annual Halloween Social. Monday, November 2, 7:30pm. GAAMC Film Festival. Transgender documentary. Friday, November 20. Transgender Day of Remembrance. Find NJ’s DoR events for the whole weekend listed at www.graanj.org. Monday, November 23, 7:00pm. Café GAAMC Gives Thanks. GAAMC annual Pot Luck Thanksgiving Social. All are welcome. Bring the family.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

Tuesday, December 1. World AIDS Day. Wear a Red Ribbon. See page 67. Monday, December 7, 7:30pm. GAAMC Winter Concert + Elections. Monday, December 14, 7:00pm. GAAMC special program. Annual Holiday Show. Monday, December 21, 7:00pm. GAAMC Holiday Social. Monday, December 28, 7:30pm. GAAMC Film Festival: The Nightmare Before

Christmas. Thursday, December 31. Pride Guide 2010 Early Bird Deadline. See centerfold.

2010: Monday, February 15, 7:30pm. GAAMC annual Valentine’s Day Social. Monday, March 1. Regular deadline for Pride Guide 2010. See centerfold. March is Sex Month at GAAMC! Monday, May 31, 7:30pm. GAAMC annual Memorial Day Social. Friday, June 4. Jersey’s Pride Weekend starts in Asbury Park. www.jerseypride.org. Sunday, June 6, 11:00-7:00pm. NJ’s 19th Annual GLBTI Pride Celebration. March behind the GAAMC banner in the Parade! Come visit our table at the Festival! Monday, July 5, 7:00pm. GAAMC annual Independence Day Ice Cream Social. Monday, August 2, 8:30pm. GAAMC special program. Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey.

This calendar was as accurate as possible at press time. Of course, check with the venue to make sure the schedule hasn’t changed. Not available at press time are the specific dates of some Film Festival showings and Combined Rap Groups, which are each usually once a month. GAAMC’s program listings are updated at www.gaamc.org/programs.html.

Pride Guide Editor’s Notes by Sue Harris Welcome to the Pride Guide 2009: A Guide to GLBTI New Jersey. This Guide, published in May 2009, is GAAMC’s 27th edition. Here are some notes to help you use the Guide more effectively: ➢Listings are in this order: Personal and/or business name; Address, City, State, ZIP; Phone; Fax; e-mail; web page; Description; Page reference to display ad. Not all listings will have all elements. ➢If there is no designation before a phone number, it’s a voice line. ➢Academic organizations are listed under the name of the college or university where they are located, even if they are not official groups. ➢If a URL begins with the common “www”, that’s how it will be listed. For addresses requiring entry of a URL not beginning with “www,” the full URL (including “http://”) will be listed. ➢If you find an incorrect listing, please let us know. I’m sure it was accurate at press time but you know how e-mail addresses and URLs come and go so quickly around here. ➢Member organizations of the New Jersey Lesbian and Gay Coalition available at press time are identified with an asterisk ( * ). www.njlgc.org.

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

ADOPTION + + + See also Surrogacy + + + Families Like Ours; PO Box 2311, Seattle, WA 98111; 877-230-3055; www.familieslikeours.org; Devoted to the needs and support of non-traditional adoptive families. See ad below. Independent Adoption Center (IAC); adoptionhelp.org; IAC is the preeminent open adoption agency in the U.S. IAC is a counseling-based, licensed, nonprofit agency founded in 1982.

Thinking About Adoption? 877-230-3055 â&#x2014;? www.FamiliesLikeOurs.org A National Community Resource Devoted to the Needs & Support of Gay and Lesbian Adoptive Families

ANIMAL COMPANIONS Golden Re-Triever Rescue, Inc; 973-208-7414; info@grrinj.org; www.grrinj.org; An all-volunteer non-profit organization dedicated to rescuing and placing Golden Retrievers throughout New Jersey. Mt. Pleasant Animal Shelter; 194 Route 10 West, (behind PetSmart), East Hanover, NJ 07936; 973-386-0590; Fax: 973-503-9697; info@njshelter.org; www.njshelter.org; Open for dog and cat adoptions Tuesday through Sunday. Please visit us online to see our adoptable animals! Seer Farms; Jackson, NJ 732-928-1804; info@seerfarms.org; www.seerfarms.org; A People-Centered Animal Sanctuary... keeping families together and animals safe.

A R T S /P H O T O G R A P H Y Art Space of New Jersey; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Life Drawing Group, focused on a nude model in various poses. All artists, as well as models, are welcome. All skill levels are welcome to attend. Cost is $13, which includes a $10 fee for the model. Meets at PCNJ every Monday, 7:00-9:30pm.

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

ASSISTED LIVING Horizon Manor; 73 Overlook Rd, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-746-9047; Fax: 973-746-7085; kjh2020988@verizon.net; www.assistancewithliving.com; Gay senior assisted living.

C O M P U T E R /T E C H N O L O G Y Ark Linux Project; info@arklinux.org; www.arklinux.org; The Premier KDE Centric, GNU Linux Distro is a free Linux distribution for everyone! Designed to be easy to install & learn. See ad below. Janet Penn Consulting, LLC; 101 East Main St, Building 13, Little Falls, NJ 07424; 973-890-9191; Fax: 973-890-9197; president@janetpennconsulting.com; www.janetpennconsulting.com; We provide Internet marketing, online advertising, and website design. With more than 25 years experience, we are skilled in all media. Our aim is to make your business more profitable! See ad on page 58.

Ark Linux The Premier KDE Centric, GNU Linux Distro

is a Linux distribution for everyone! Designed to be easy to install & learn, even for users without prior Linux (or computer) experience, yet powerful enough for advanced users.

Give Ark Linux Live a try, a complete operating system on a CD.

With Ark Linux Live, you can surf the Web, chat online, watch DVDs, listen to music, do desktop publishing, graphics work & more.

Questions?

E N T E R T A I N M E N T /E V E N T S Capital Rainbowfest; PO Box 299, Trenton, NJ 08602; 609-396-9788 x7; info@capitalrainbowfest.org; www.capitalrainbowfest.org; The New Jersey Fall GLBTI Pride event in Mill Hill Park, at S. Broad St. and E. Front St. in downtown Trenton. Check website for date.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

C O M P U T E R /T E C H N O L O G Y

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

E N T E R T A I N M E N T /E V E N T S Equality Forum; 1420 Locust St, Suite 300, Philadelphia, PA 19102-4202; 215-732-3378; Fax: 215-732-7376; info@equalityforum.com; www.equalityforum.com; The annual Equality Forum in Philadelphia is the largest annual and premier national and international GLBT civil rights forum. The weeklong event, ending the first Sunday in May, features over 50 programs, parties, and special events, including SundayOUT!, the area’s largest GLBT street festival. FOREPLAY 2009; www.NJForeplay.com; Leather, Bear, Kink Block Party— Sat, June 6, 2009, Asbury Park, NJ—A Block Party Created by Our Community, for Our Community! * GAAMC: $1.98 Beauty Pageant; info@gaamc.org; gaamc.org; Monday, September 21, 2009. 8:00pm. Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, 21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960. See ad on back cover. Gay Pride Rockland, An Event for Everyone; Volunteer Counseling Service of Rockland County Inc; 77 S Main St, New City, NY 10956; 845-634-5729 x306; Fax: 845-634-7839; info@gaypriderockland.org; www.gaypriderockland.org; Sunday, June 14, 2009, Riverspace, 119 Main St, Nyack, NY. FREE and open to the public. See ad on page 52. Heritage of Pride, Inc; 154 Christopher St, Suite 1D, New York, NY 10014; 212-80-PRIDE (212-807-7433); Fax: 212-807-7436; www.nycpride.org; Heritage of Pride organizes Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride events in New York City to commemorate and celebrate the Stonewall Riots. Pride Week 2009: June 20-28. This year is the 40th anniversary of Stonewall.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

E N T E R T A I N M E N T /E V E N T S * Jersey City Lesbian + Gay Outreach, Inc (JCLGO); 32 Jones St, Suite 303, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201-333-5725; info@jclgo.org; www.jclgo.org; A not-forprofit, all-volunteer organization dedicated to being a vital voice in Jersey City that brings the GLBTI Community together. Produces Jersey City's Annual GLBTI Pride Festival in August. Jersey City Pride 2009 will be held Saturday, August 29. See ad on page 29. * Jersey Pride, Inc; PO Box 10796, New Brunswick, NJ 08906; 732-21 GAY NJ (732-214-2965); info@jerseypride.org; www.jerseypride.org; The all-volunteer organization that produces NJ’s Annual Statewide Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Intersex Pride Celebration the 1st weekend in June in Asbury Park (Saturday and Sunday, June 6 & 7, 2009). JPI is committed to increasing the visibility of, and promoting the well being of NJ’s GLBTI Community through annual pride events, year-round fundraising efforts, and production of the critically acclaimed magazine, The Jersey Gaze. See ad on page 53. New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus; PO Box 21, Princeton, NJ 08542; 609396-7774; info@njgmc.org; www.njgmc.org; The New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus is a volunteer TTBB chorus drawing from communities in Central NJ and Eastern PA. The chorus has been thrilling audiences for 18 years with a repertoire as diverse as the passionate and talented men and women who comprise our singing and non-singing members. We celebrate diversity through music, which unites us all in purpose and spirit. Rehearsals on Monday nights from 7:30 to 10:00 at the Nassau Presbyterian Church in Princeton. Rehearsals run from September through early June. See ad on page 61. New Jersey Leather Weekend; DragonslairProd@aol.com; www.LeatherNJOnline.com; Mr. and Ms. New Jersey Leather Contest produced by Dragonslair Productions, Inc, will be held on Saturday, October 17th, 2009, at Paradise in Asbury Park, NJ. New Jersey Ride Against AIDS; PO Box 127, Bradley Beach, NJ 07720; 732988-6593; www.njrideagainstaids.org; The New Jersey Ride Against AIDS is a threeday bicycling event that benefits New Jersey AIDS charities. The next ride is set for September 25-27, 2009. The ride begins at High Point State Park in beautiful northwest New Jersey and concludes in the charming, Victorian town of Cape May at the southernmost point of the state. The length of the ride is approximately 250 miles. Out of the Box!; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; outoftheboxinfo@optonline.net; www.pridecenter.org; Share your original music, poetry, or stories with warm, friendly, and a very diverse audience. Everyone is welcome—listeners and sharers alike. 3rd Friday, 8pm at THE CAVE, 19-21 South 2nd Ave, Highland Park, NJ. For information outoftheboxinfo@optonline.net. Directions: www.pandorascooter.com/news.html.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

E N T E R T A I N M E N T /E V E N T S

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

E N T E R T A I N M E N T /E V E N T S The SCOTS GUARDS & RAMPANT LION BANDS of NEW JERSEY

Rampant Lion Pipe Band Arms

Scots Guards of New Jersey flag

The Scots Guards and Rampant Lion Bands were formed in 2007 to perpetuate the best traditions of British and European military style wind band and bagpipe music within the Central and Northern New Jersey communities. Membership is open to amateur musicians and we are currently recruiting brass, woodwind and percussion players. Beginners on Highland bagpipes and drums will be taught in group lessons. The bands will wear traditional British military uniforms and will perform in conjunction and separately. Rehearsals will be one evening per week in the Auditorium on the campus of the Veterans Administration facility in Basking Ridge, New Jersey. Get out your old musical instruments and make them heard again. Please contact Director of Bands, David Palladino for more information.

908-285-1503

Basking Ridge NJ E-mail: www.SGRLBANDS.org david_palladino@yahoo.com

RLPB

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

E N T E R T A I N M E N T /E V E N T S Scots Guards & Rampant Lion Bands of New Jersey; 202 Jamestown Rd, Basking Ridge, NJ 07920; 908-285-1503; david_palladino@yahoo.com; www.sgrlbands.org; See ad on page 62. Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey; 36 Madison Ave, Madison, NJ 07940; 973-408-5600; BoxOffice@ShakespeareNJ.org; www.shakespearenj.org; The Shakespeare Theater is one of the leading Shakespeare theaters in the nation and New Jersey’s only professional theater company dedicated to Shakespeare’s canon and other classic masterworks. Through its productions and education programs, the company strives to illuminate the universal and lasting relevance of the classics for contemporary audiences. See ad on page 59. The Theater Project; Union County College, 1033 Springfield Ave, Cranford, NJ 07016; 908-659-5189; TheaterProject@aol.com; www.TheTheaterProject.org; Union County College’s Professional Theater Company.

F I N A N C I A L /I N S U R A N C E Anne Freid-Lefton, EA, “The Tax Gal”; PO Box 231, Parlin, NJ 08859; 732257-0431; Fax: 732-257-7574; anne@thetaxgal.com; www.thetaxgal.com; Financial planning and electronic filing. Enrolled to practice before the IRS. See ad on page 64. NJ CPA Help Center; 425 Eagle Rock Ave, Suite 100, Roseland, NJ 070681723; 973-226-4494; www.moneymattersnj.com; Did you, a friend, or family member recently lose a home to a fire, suffer domestic abuse, or endure some other personal crisis? Do you have a spouse who is overseas serving in the military? Through the New Jersey Society of CPAs Help Center, Garden State residents can successfully manage their financial situation in the aftermath of a tragedy, with the help of an experienced NJ CPA volunteer. Primerica; Gary Wyssling; 101 Round Hill Dr, Rockaway, NJ 07866; 973-627-3630; Fax: 973-983-1949; We are looking for people to work part time or full time in a Financial Services company helping people save money. See ad on page 65. Steven W. Schmitt, CFP®, Associate Vice President—Investment Officer; Wachovia Securities, 51 JFK Parkway, 4th Floor, Short Hills, NJ 07078; 973-564-6997; steven.schmitt@wachoviasec.com; See ad on page 65. Eileen M. Shrem, Independent Insurance Planner; 215 McCabe Ave, Suite C1, Bradley Beach, NJ 07720; 732-988-7256; Fax: 732-988-3009; emshrem@yourfriend-in-insurance.com; Receive a discount on Auto Insurance. Take the online NJ State approved safety course. Go to www.your-friend-in-insurance.com. Truly your friend in the insurance business. See ad on page 64.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

F I N A N C I A L /I N S U R A N C E Free Consultation Individuals • Business

Financial Planning Electronic Filing

THETAXGAL.COM PO Box 231 Parlin, NJ 08859 732-257-0431 Fax 732-257-7574

ANNE FREID-LEFTON, EA Enrolled To Practice Before the IRS E-mail: anne@thetaxgal.com

KEVIN P. SUSZKO, CPA, PC

Certified Public Accountant Tax Planning & Preparation Accounting Services Financial Planning Day & Evening Appointments PO Box 701, Short Hills, NJ 07078 973-376-4121 kpscpa@comcast.net

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

F I N A N C I A L /I N S U R A N C E Life Doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Come With Directions Primerica Can Help You Write Your Own Put your financial goals and dreams into view with a FREE Financial Needs Analysis (FNA) from Primerica. Constructed just for you, your FNA will help you develop your personal financial goals for accomplishing life goals such as:

~ Retirement Savings

~ Debt Management

~ Education Fund

~ Income Protection

~ Emergency Fund

~ Additional Income

Call your local Primerica Representative Gary

Wyssling 973-627-3630

to schedule your personalized FNA home appointment today! Representing Primerica Life Insurance Company Executive Offices: Duluth, GA

PFS Investments Inc. Member of FINRA A Registered Representative of PFS Investments Inc. 3120 Breckinridge Blvd. Duluth, GA 30099-0001 770-381-1000

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

F I N A N C I A L /I N S U R A N C E Kevin P. Suszko; PO Box 701, Short Hills, NJ 07078; 973-376-4121; Fax: 973-9210061; KPSCPA@Comcast.net; Certified public accountant. See ad on page 64. Kyle D. Young, Financial Advisor; Wachovia Securities, 51 JFK Parkway, 4th Floor, Short Hills, NJ 07078; 973-564-6983; kyle.young@wachoviasec.com; See ad on page 65.

H E L P /I N F O R M A T I O N L I N E S GLBT National Hotline; a program of the GLBT National Help Center; 2261 Market St, PMB #296, San Francisco, CA 94114; 888-THE-GLNH (888-843-4564); info@GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org; www.GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org; Offering free and confidential information, local resources and peer-counseling. GLBT National Youth Talkline; a program of the GLBT National Help Center; 2261 Market St, PMB #296, San Francisco, CA 94114; 800-246-PRIDE (800246-7743); Youth@GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org; www.YouthTalkline.org; Offering free and confidential information, local resources and peer-counseling to those ages 25 and younger. New Jersey Self-Help Clearinghouse; 375 E. McFarlan St, Dover, NJ 078013638; 800-FOR-MASH (800-367-6274); www.njgroups.org; Helps persons find or form all types of self-help groups for abuse, addiction, bereavement, disability, health, mental health, family, caregivers, and more. New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project Hotline; 240 West 35th St, Suite 200, New York, NY 10001; 212-714-1141; Fax: 212-714-2627; www.avp.org; GLBT hotline for reporting sexual assault, domestic violence, bias crimes, or other crises. PFLAG-Jersey Shore; 1681 Ridgeway Rd. (Route 571), Toms River, NJ 08757; 908-814-2155; www.jerseyshorepflag.org; Founded in 2004, the group meets at 7:00pm the 2nd Wednesday at the United Church of Christ of Toms River. Not affiliated with any religion. See www.tomsriverucc.org for directions. Trevor Project; 9056 Santa Monica Blvd, Suite 208, West Hollywood, CA 90069; 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386); info@thetrevorproject.org, www.thetrevorproject.org; around-the-clock national toll-free suicide hotline for gay and questioning youth.

Want to be a GAAMC Member? The Membership Form is in the Centerfold!

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES World AIDS Day: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 World AIDS Day is the international day of action on HIV and AIDS which takes place every year on December 1st. The overall purpose of the World AIDS Campaign from 2005 to 2010 has been to ensure that leaders and decision makers deliver on their promises on AIDS, including the provision of Universal Access to Treatment, Care, Support, and Prevention services by 2010. on December 1st! Go to www.worldaidscampaign.org for more i f ti

* AIDS Memorial Quilt—NAMES Project Foundation, Central New Jersey Chapter; 118 International Ave, Piscataway, NJ 08854; 732-991-3479; info@aidsquiltnj.org; www.aidsquilt-nj.org; The AIDS Memorial Quilt is now a National Treasure. It is displayed in various venues by request as an educational tool to help bring AIDS/HIV awareness to the public, young and old. The Chapter helps to make individual Panels for The Quilt to help promote healing, to commemorate those who passed away and to keep their NAMES Alive. A panel making workshop can, by request, be scheduled at your location. Our primary service areas are Middlesex, Somerset, Hunterdon, Mercer, Monmouth, Ocean, and Union counties, and secondary service areas are Atlantic, Burlington, Camden, Cape May, Cumberland, Salem, and Gloucester counties. All honoraria support the local chapter. Offerings that accompany Panels are forwarded to Foundation with Panel to support sewing costs to attach the Panel to the Quilt Block and initial care once completed. See ad on page 70. AIDS Memorial Quilt—NAMES Project Foundation, Northern New Jersey Chapter; PO Box 85, Paramus, NJ 07653; 201-265-0600; Fax: 732-352-7920; info@namesnnj.org; www.namesnnj.org; A supporting organization of the National Foundation of the NAMES Project, promoting awareness of HIV/AIDS; serving as a local AIDS service organization; building alliances with other local AIDS service organizations; and helping people remember and grieve for those who have died from AIDS related diseases. Serving Bergen, Essex, Hudson, Morris, Passaic, Sussex, and Warren counties.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES Broadway House for Continuing Care; 298 Broadway, Newark, NJ 07104; 973-268-9797; bhouseinfo@umdnj.edu; www.broadwayhouse.org; A special care, residential 24-hour nursing facility providing services exclusively to people with HIV/AIDS. See ad on page 74. Buddies of New Jersey, Inc; 149 Hudson St, Hackensack, NJ 07601; 201489-2900; HelpLine: 800-508-7577; njbuddies@aol.com; www.njbuddies.org; Mission: to provide support, education, and services for people infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. Services include: Case Management, both medical and community, substance abuse treatment and counseling, housing assistance, support groups, transportation, food pantry, and HIV/AIDS education. See ad on page 71. The Eric Johnson House, Inc; 44 South St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973326-9636; Fax: 973-539-4725; info@theericjohnsonhouse.org; www.theericjohnsonhouse.org; Responding compassionately and responsibly to the HIV/AIDS crisis by providing supportive services, housing opportunities, prevention strategies and community education in New Jersey. See article on page 36 and ad on page 73. God’s Love We Deliver; 212-294-8102 or 800-747-2023; Fax: 212-294-8198; clientservices@glwd.org; www.godslovewedeliver.org; A nonprofit, non-sectarian organization that provides home-delivered meals and nutritional counseling for people who are living with HIV/AIDS and other serious illnesses who, because of their illness, are unable to provide or prepare meals for themselves throughout NYC and Hudson County, NJ. Client Services: M-F, 8am-5pm. Hope House; 19-21 Belmont Ave, Dover, NJ 07801; 973-361-5555 or 800-213-4967; Fax: 973-361-5290; information@hopehousenj.org; www.hopehouse.com; When hope seems like a word with no meaning...come to Hope House where lives are forever changed. See ad on page 74. * Hyacinth AIDS Foundation; 317 George St, Suite 203, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; 800-433-0254 in NJ, 732-246-0204 outside NJ; info@hyacinth.org; www.hyacinth.org; Hyacinth is the first and largest AIDS service organization in New Jersey. Hyacinth’s mission is to help people live with HIV, work to slow the spread of the pandemic, and serve as a critical voice in the public debate surrounding AIDS in New Jersey. Check our website to find the location nearest you. See article on page 40 and ad on page 72. New Jersey AIDS/STD Hotline; UMDNJ, 65 Bergen St, Fourth Floor, Newark, NJ 07107; 800-624-2377; Call the hotline 24 hours a day, every day, to find a local test site, or ask questions concerning HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES New Jersey Ride Against AIDS; PO Box 127, Bradley Beach, NJ 07720; 732988-6593; www.njrideagainstaids.org; The New Jersey Ride Against AIDS is a three-day bicycling event that benefits New Jersey AIDS charities. The next ride is set for September 25-27, 2009. The ride begins at High Point State Park in beautiful northwest New Jersey and concludes in the charming, Victorian town of Cape May at the southernmost point of the state. The length of the ride is approximately 250 miles. New Jersey Women & AIDS Network (NJWAN); 103 Bayard St, 3rd Fl, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; and 7 Glenwood St, Ste. 401, East Orange, NJ 07017; Warmline: 800-747-1108, NB: 732-846-4462, EO: 973-395-0060; Faxes: NB: 732-846-2674, EO: 973-395-0550; office@njwan.org; www.njwan.org; NJWAN was founded in May 1988 out of the recognition that an independent voice was needed to express the needs of women in the HIV/AIDS pandemic. North Jersey Community Research Initiative; 393 Central Ave, 3rd Floor, Newark, NJ 07103; 973-483-3444; Fax: 973-485-7080; njcri@njcri.org; www.njcri.org; Education; prevention programs for youth, HIV positives, and substance users; HIV Counseling/Testing/Referral; STD testing; clinical trials on HPV and HIV medications; syringe exchange; care/treatment/support services: primary care, psychiatry, substance abuse, nutrition, adherence, case management, food pantry, transportation, referrals, and support groups; technical assistance for minority-based HIV organizations; behavioral surveillance/research; pre- and postdischarge correction services; Greater Newark multi-agency outreach; and collaborative project with other disease group organizations. Ryan White Mental Health Program; Christ Hospital-CRC, 179 Palisade Ave, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201-418-7037; Fax: 201-418-4070; hgolden@christhospital.org; Bilingual counseling for HIV+ Hudson County residents at Christ Hospital. Harlene Golden, LCSW. South Jersey AIDS Alliance; 19 Gordonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Alley, Atlantic City, NJ 08401; 609-347-1085, Hotline: 800-281-AIDS (2437); Fax: 609-348-8775; info@sjaids.org; www.southjerseyaidsalliance.org; Founded in 1985, offering AIDS and HIV support, info, and services. Covering Atlantic, Cape May, and Cumberland counties, the alliance operates regional support centers to assist clients and their families. All services are free and confidential. Visiting Nurse Association of Central Jersey; HIV/AIDS Resource Center; 176 Riverside Ave, Red Bank, NJ 07701; 800-947-0020; www.vnacj.org/community/hivaids.html; This referral phone line is a service of Monmouth-Ocean HIV Care Consortium and community organizations in Monmouth and Ocean counties. Assistance is offered daily from 8:30am-4:30pm. After-hours messages will be returned on the next business day. All calls are confidential.

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES

Time To Remember Make A Memorial Panel The NAMES Project New Jersey has developed a Panel Profile that will help you compile facts or memories of the person who was lost to AIDS complications. The questions, when answered, will tell a story about the person. Don't let the lack of some information stop you from completing as much of the Panel Profile as possible. The information gathered, however much, will help you compose the Memorial Panel. Go to www.AIDSQuilt-NJ.org <Panelmaking Instructions>, then <Panel Profile>. Download the Panel Profile in WORD format. Your Panel can be as simple as you like or as intricate as skills allow. Please download the Panel Profile and Panel Making Instructions to begin your Panel Making experience. Please call us if you have any questions. I thank you for helping to remember their names and assuring that they will never be forgotten. If you are not able to, I will make the Panel. Please complete the Profile and mail it to me and I will make a Panel for you. Please Remember Their NAMES. Yours Respectfully, Maria N. Betters Chapter Chair

The NAMES Project New Jersey 118 International Ave, Piscataway, New Jersey 08854 Cell: 732-991-3479 E-mail: info@aidsquilt-nj.org Website: www.aidsquilt-nj.org

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES Buddies of New Jersey, Inc. Help Line: 800-508-7577 Office: 201-489-2900 Fax: 201-489-2133 E-mail: njbuddies@aol.com Webpage: www.njbuddies.org

Serving the Community since 1985 Our Mission: “to provide support, education, and services for people infected with and affected by HIV/AIDS” Join us for….

S.E.L.F.

(Support, Education, Learning, Friendship)

Gay Men’s HIV Support Group Supporting members through the exchange of ideas, shared resources, educational services, and camaraderie. Monday Evenings—7:00-8:30pm At the Franklin A. Smith Resource Center 149 Hudson Street, Hackensack, NJ 07601

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES

New Jerseyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first and largest AIDS service organization Six offices in NJ: Paterson, Newark, Jersey City, Plainfield, New Brunswick and Trenton

Guided by our mission to help people live with HIV, slow the pandemic, and serve as a critical voice in the public debate on HIV/AIDS, Hyacinth reached 20,000 New Jerseyans last year. Hyacinth AIDS Foundation is the only organization in New Jersey dedicated to preserve the hard won rights and benefits of people living with HIV/AIDS. AIDS does not discriminate but some lawmakers do. Hyacinth is your voice in Trenton and Washington. There is no vaccine. There is no cure. There were over 2,000 new infections in New Jersey last year; more than half were among young people under 25 years of age.

Join the Fight Against AIDS! 317 George Street New Brunswick, NJ 08901 732-246-0204 Fax: 732-246-4137 HIV/STD Hotline: 800-433-0254 info@hyacinth.org www.hyacinth.org

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES JOIN US GET INVOLVED MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Responding compassionately and responsibly to the HIV/AIDS crisis in NJ

Did you know... • • •

We are in the 27th year of the AIDS pandemic and there is still no cure! AIDS is now the 7th leading cause of death among 1- to 4-year-olds; 6th among 15- to 24-year-olds; and 2nd among 25- to 44-year-olds. Half of the new infections worldwide are occurring in youth under the age of 25.

WE NEED YOUR HELP! VOLUNTEER! •Help

with House Coverage & Supervision •Transport People to Medical Appointments •Prepare Meals for HIV Positive People •Become a HIV/AIDS Mentor & Buddy •Volunteer/Walk in the NJ AIDS Walk •Help with Painting Projects

The Eric Johnson House 44 South Street, Morristown, NJ 07960 Tel: 973-326-9636 Fax: 973-539-4725 www.TheEricJohnsonHouse.org

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES New Jersey’s Only Special Care Facility for People Living with AIDS As New Jersey’s only specialized HIV/AIDS nursing care facility designed to meet the post-acute needs of people living with AIDS, the mission of Broadway House for Continuing Care is to provide first class residential health care and rehabilitative services to people living with HIV/AIDS. We do this with compassion, commitment, and pride. Our primary objective is to assure that every resident realizes his/her greatest potential in an environment that fosters dignity and respect.

For more information on becoming a resident of Broadway House please contact the

Admissions Department 298 Broadway, Newark, NJ 07104 Phone: 973-268-9797 • Fax: 973-268-2828

LEGAL SERVICES Leslie A. Farber, LLC; 460 Bloomfield Ave, Suite 400, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-233-1113; Fax: 973-233-1139; Leslie.Farber@verizon.net; www.LFarberLaw.com; Attorney At Law. See ad on page 75. Francine A. Gargano, Esq; 20 Shawnee Dr, Suite B, Watchung, NJ 07069; 908-753-2079; Fax: 908-755-3586; garganof@msn.com; Attorney At Law. William S. Singer, Esq; Singer & Fedun, LLC; 2230 Route 206, PO Box 134, Belle Mead, NJ 08502; 908-359-7873; Fax: 908-359-0128; wsinger@singerfedun.com; We specialize in the issues that shape your life, including estate and life planning, adoption, and beyond. See ad on page 75.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

LEGAL SERVICES Robin T. Wernik; 34 Village Court, Hazlet, NJ 07730-1534; 732-888-3338; rtwernik@hotmail.com; www.lawyers.com/wernik; Concentrating on the legal needs of the gay and lesbian community. See ad on page 76.

LESLIE A. FARBER Attorney at Law

GLBTI Community Needs

• Civil Unions Personal Injury • • •

Auto Accidents Fall Downs Workers Comp.

• Estate Planning

Municipal Court • •

Traffic tickets Drunk driving

Real Estate Closings Employment Law

460 Bloomfield Avenue, Suite 400 • Montclair, New Jersey 07042 E-mail: Leslie.Farber@verizon.net • www.LFarberLaw.com

973-233-1113

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

LEGAL SERVICES

ROBIN T. WERNIK ATTORNEY AT LAW The Law Offices of Robin T. Wernik 34 Village Court Hazlet, NJ 07730 732-888-3338

LIBRARIES Morris County Library; 30 East Hanover Ave, Whippany, NJ 07981; 973285-6930; mocolib1@gti.net; www.mclib.info; See ad below. Ocean County Library; Toms River Branch, 101 Washington St, Toms River, NJ 08753; 732-349-6200; www.oceancounty.lib.nj.us/Branches/TR/tr.htm. Hours: Monday-Thursday 9-9, Friday & Saturday 9-5, Sunday 1-5 (Sunday Hours: September through May).

Morris County Library 30 East Hanover Avenue Whippany, NJ 07981

www.mclib.info mocolib1@gti.net 973-285-6930

Books...Music/Media...Children’s...Online Resources...Reference * Over 261,000 books & media * 800 magazines and newspapers (& more online) * 69 stations & wireless for Internet access * Career seminars and Internet classes * Several genealogy databases

* 7 meeting rooms * Exhibits * Online catalog * Reference by e-mail * Books by mail

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

MENTAL HEALTH Mental Health/Therapists The best way to determine what a professional title means is to ask the prospective clinician to describe his or her title and what was required to earn it. Here’s a basic guideline. Professional Titles APN: Advanced Practice Nurse ACSW: Academy of Certified Social Workers BCD: Board Certified Diplomate CAC: Certified Alcohol Counselor CAS: Certified Addiction Specialist CADC: Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor CCMHC: Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor CFT: Counselor Family Therapist CNS: Clinical Nurse Specialist CSW: Certified Social Worker (bachelor’s level) DFC: Diplomat in Forensic Counseling DPM: Diplomat in Pain Management LCADC: Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor LCSW: Licensed Clinical Social Worker (master’s level) LMFT: Licensed Marriage Family Therapist LPC: Licensed Professional Counselor NCC: National Certified Counselor NCPsyA: Nationally Certified Psychoanalyst PsyA: Psychoanalyst RN: Registered Nurse The Division of Consumer Affairs (www.state.nj.us/lps/ca), through its various professional boards, licenses and regulates the practice of mental health professionals in New Jersey. The Division is located at 124 Halsey St, Newark, NJ 07102. Phone: 973-504-6470. Consumers are advised to check for a valid license when using such services. Online resources include: The American Psychological Association’s FAQs on Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality at www.apa.org/pubinfo/answers.html. “Choosing a Therapist: Advice for Seeking a Professional’s Help,” from the Personal Liberty Fund’s Educators’ Resource Guide for Serving GLBTQ Youth, at www.njlgc.org/publications/youth_guide/index.html. Educational Titles BA: Bachelor of Arts BD: Bachelor of Divinity BS: Bachelor of Science EdD: Doctor of Education MA: Master of Arts MD: Medical Doctor MDIV: Master of Divinity MEd: Master of Education MS: Master of Science MSS: Master of Social Science MSW: Master of Social Work PhD: Doctor of Philosophy PsyD: Doctorate of Psychology

Annmarie Agosta, LCSW; East Brunswick, NJ 08816; 732-873-8738; AagostaLCSW@aol.com; www.realtherapist.com; Psychotherapy for individuals, couples, and families, integrating body, mind, and spirit. NJ Lic. 44SC05192900. See ad on page 80. Allen Wells Center; Allen Wells, BA, BD, Director; 102 Ogden Pl, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-539-0301; Specializing in whole person, contemplative psychotherapy of mind/body/heart/spirit. Alternative Approach Psychotherapy Assoc; Marilyn Heimowitz, LCSW; 50 Church St, Suite 104, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-736-8785; Life is a journey. We all need help along the way. Let us help! Individual, couple, family, addictions, abuse. See ad on page 83.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

MENTAL HEALTH Diana Lunt, LCSW Certified Psychoanalyst Licensed Clinical Social Worker 296 Amboy Avenue Metuchen, New Jersey 08840 732-548-4145

Ann Cutillo, LCSW 51 Upper Montclair Plaza Upper Montclair, NJ 07043 973-509-9440 GLBTI Support Group• PTSD Certified Imago Couples Therapist Trauma • Abuse • Addiction Communication • Intimacy • Self-Esteem Insurance accepted and sliding scale available.

EMDR Trained • Certified LCSW Supervisor NJ State Licensed Clinical Social Worker

RAY CICETTI, LCSW Licensed Clinical Social Worker 44 Elm Street, Morristown, NJ 07960 973-984-6343 Specializing in the treatment of: ▪ Relationship Issues ▪ Co-dependency/Addiction Recovery ▪ Stress Management ▪ Depression and Anxiety ▪ Issues of Grief/Loss ▪ Communication Problems

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

MENTAL HEALTH DAHLIA MANN, PhD Psychologist MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPIST INDIVIDUAL, COUPLE, CHILD & FAMILY Maplewood/Millburn & Springfield Area 973-868-2431 vango811@mac.com

NJ License 355100380300

KARL L. TRAPPE, PhD Psychologist

601 Jefferson Road Suite 107 Parsippany, NJ 07054

Tel: 973-428-8812 Fax: 973-515-8686 E-Mail: KTRAPPE@AOL.COM

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

MENTAL HEALTH Center for Identity Development; 31 Trinity Pl, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973744-6386; www.centeridentity.qpg.com; Individual, group, family and couples therapy, plus other services. James Mahon, LCSW, ACSW, NJ Lic. SC00984. Robert Reese, PsyD, NJ Lic. 2925. See ad on page 84. Joseph A. Chan, MSW, LCSW; 303 Claremont Ave, Montclair, NJ 07042; 116 Millburn Ave, Suite 110, Millburn, NJ 07041; 973-202-1421; Affirming psychotherapy for adolescents and adults. Strict confidentiality. NJ Lic. 44SC05184400. Raymond Cicetti, LCSW; 44 Elm St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-984-6343; Utilizing a solution based approach to healing with individuals, couples and families. Specializing in: Stress reduction, anxiety/depression and communication problems. NJ Lic. 44SC00530700. See ad on page 78. Ann Cutillo, LCSW; 51 Upper Montclair Plaza, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-509-9440; Solution-based counseling utilizing an active, reality-based approach and treatment plan. NJ Lic. 44SC00172700. See ad on page 78. Brenda G. Forte, LCSW, CAS; 44 Elm St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-538-2818; bfortelcsw@verizon.net; www,BrendaFortePsychotherapy.com; Affirming therapy and counseling for individuals and couples. Specialties include: anxiety, depression, trauma. NJ Lic. SC776. See ad on page 87. Russell W. Healy, LCSW; 87 West End Ave, Somerville, NJ 08876; 2999 Princeton Pike, Suite 5, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648; 908-526-5784; Consultation and psychotherapy for sexual identity and gender identity issues, sexual behavior problems, depression, and relationship concerns. NJ Lic.44SC-000394. Institute for Personal Growth; Margaret Nichols, PhD; 8 South Third Ave, Highland Park, NJ 08904; 800-379-9220 or 732-246-8439; Fax: 732-246-8081; www.ipgcounseling.com; Serving gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and others on the sexual vanguard. NJ Lic. 34SI00184700. See ad on page 85.

Empowering Our Community One Person, One Couple, And One Family at a Time Therapy for adults, children, & adolescents Annmarie Agosta, LCSW 732-873-8738 Lic # 44SC05192900 www.RealTherapist.com Office in East Brunswick, centrally located within minutes of Routes 1 9 18 27 and the NJ Turnpike

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

MENTAL HEALTH Rosemarie Kopacsi, PhD, LCSW; 460 Bloomfield Ave, Suite 209, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-509-0574; Individual, couples, and family therapy. NJ Lic. 02029. Branka Kurta, LCSW; 209 Cooper Ave, Suite 9B, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 201-214-3623; brankakurta@yahoo.com; Adolescents and adults. Trauma, relational issues, GLBT issues, general mental health, women’s issues. NJ Lic. 44SC04792700. Lisa LaBrunda, LCSW; 170 Changebridge Rd, Bldg. B3-4, Montville, NJ 07045; 973-951-0297; Fax: 862-209-4311; llabrunda@yahoo.com; therapist.psychologytoday.com/48227; NJ Lic. 44SC05329200. Lesbians With Cancer Support Group; c/o The Cancer Institute of NJ, 195 Little Albany St, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; 732-235-6792; www.cinj.org; Support group for Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered women with cancer and their partners. The goal of the group is to improve education, promote mutual problem solving and facilitate sharing. Open discussion meetings 3rd Monday from 7:008:30pm. Contact Rose Slirzewski, LCSW, for more information. Strict confidentiality will be respected. Diana Lunt, LCSW; 296 Amboy Ave, Metuchen, NJ 08840; 732-548-4145; Fax: 732-548-4145; Licensed, caring, experienced psychotherapist specializing in depression, relationship issues, and sexual abuse issues. In-network provider for many insurances. NJ Lic. SC01741. See ad on page 78.

Dr. Catherine Roland, LPC Licensed Professional Counselor—New Jersey

Individual, Partner, and Family Counseling GLBT Developmental Issues Transition Life Coaching—TLC © 51 Upper Montclair Plaza, Suite 21 Upper Montclair, NJ 07043 973-655-7184 • 973-943-1273 nj_buff@yahoo.com

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

MENTAL HEALTH Dahlia Mann, PhD, Clinical Psychologist; Maplewood/Millburn & Springfield Area; 973-868-2431; www.therapists.psychologytoday.com/32067; www.psychology.com/therapist/extended.php?aid=2475; Practical solutions for dealing with: parenting/families, relationships, grief/loss, anxiety/depression. NJ Lic. 35SI00380300. See article on page 26 and ad on page 79. Cheryl Ann Notari, PhD; Licensed Psychologist; 332 Springfield Ave, Suite 204, Summit, NJ 07901; 908-608-1114; Providing psychotherapy to children, adolescents, and adults in a supportive environment. NJ Lic. 355100426900. Ridgewood Psychotherapy Associates; Susan Donnelly, LCSW; 112 Prospect St, Ridgewood, NJ 07450; 201-447-5565; Fax: 201-445-2354; suedonnelly@optonline.net; www.ridgewoodtherapy.com; Trauma, spirituality, families, cultural awareness. NJ Lic. 44SC00206800. Dr. Catherine Roland, LPC; 51 Upper Montclair Plaza, Suite 21, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-655-7184; nj_buff@yahoo.com; Relationship counseling for GLBT couples and families, sexual identity issues, Life Coaching, Licensed therapist with 24 years experience. Saturday and weekday hours, womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s groups. See ad on page 81. Marsha N. Shapiro, LCSW, BCD, LLC; 1626 Route 130 N, Suite K, North Brunswick, NJ 08902; and 554 East Commons Way, Toms River NJ 08755; 732422-9400; Fax: 732-274-0023; mashkalah@aol.com; Affirmative therapy in a relaxed, comfortable environment. Specialize in coming out, being gay and in a straight relationship, transgendered individuals and their families, couples' issues, parenting, family of origin issues, eating disorders, addictions, PTSD, adult survivors of childhood abuse, depression, anxiety, phobias. Trained in the use of EMDR and hypnosis. NJ Lic. SL-00046. See ad on page 86. Ken Singer, LCSW; 83 Douglas St, Lambertville, NJ 08530; 609-397-2760; Fax: 609-397-1869; ken.singer@comcast.net; Male survivors of sexual abuse, sexual addictions, sexual acting out. NJ Lic. SC00274. See article on page 30. Deborah S. Smith, MS, LCADC; 47 Maple St, L-21, Summit, NJ 07901; 908277-9599; Affirming, confidential counseling for individuals and couples. Over 30 years experience in GLBT issues and addictions. NJ Lic. 37LC00099200. See ad on page 86. Spectrum Counseling Solutions, LLC, Lisa Leidecker, LPC, LCADC, NCC; 51 Upper Montclair Plaza, Suite 21, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; and 248 Broad St, Suite B, Red Bank, NJ 07701; 973-568-1166; Depression/anxiety, relationship issues, career transition, identity issues, addictions, abuse. NJ Lic. 37PC00020000. See ad on page 79. Karl L. Trappe, PhD; 601 Jefferson Rd, Suite 107, Parsippany, NJ 07054; 973428-8812 #2; ktrappe@aol.com; Psychologist. NJ Lic. 3551002502000. See ad on page 79.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

MENTAL HEALTH

WE CAN HELP! Caring and Helpful Support that Recognizes the Strength and Complexity of the Lesbian and Gay Experience       

Individual, Couple, Family Depression, Anxiety, Grief Couples Communication, Intimacy, Isolation Parenting / Co-parenting Addiction: Sex, Love, Alcohol, Spending ACOA; Codependency, Eating Disorders Incest, Partners of Survivors

ALTERNATIVE APPROACH

Counseling and Psychotherapy Associates

CALL TODAY! GET ACQUAINTED.

973-736-8785 50 Church St, Montclair, NJ 07042 Convenient offices also located in Millburn, NJ Most Insurance Accepted. Affordable Rates.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

MENTAL HEALTH Since 1980, a clinic especially for the Gay/Lesbian Community…

CID CENTER FOR IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT

Offering the following services:

• Individual Psychotherapy & Counseling • Group Therapy • Family Therapy • Alcoholism Counseling • Couple Counseling • Information & Referral • Psychological Testing -•CENTER DIRECTOR

JAMES V. MAHON, LCSW, ACSW BY APPOINTMENT

973-744-6386 ROBERT J. REESE, PsyD Clinical Psychologist

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

MENTAL HEALTH

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

MENTAL HEALTH NOT FEELING SO GAY...? CONFUSED? ANXIOUS? LONELY? ANGRY? RELATIONSHIP OR FAMILY PROBLEMS? HOMOPHOBIC? HETEROPHOBIC? ADDICTED TO SOMETHING — OR SOMEONE? DO YOUR FRIENDS WISH YOU'D GET HELP? F o r s k i l l e d , su p p o r t i v e , p r o f e s s i o n a l a s s i s t a n c e . . .

DEBORAH S. SMITH MS, LCADC & GAY/LESBIAN/BISEXUAL/TRANSGENDER SPECIALIST & LICENSED CLINICAL ALCOHOL & DRUG COUNSELOR

CLARITY COUNSELING & CONSULTATION

47 Maple Street, L-21 Summit, NJ 07901

Marsha N. Shapiro, LCSW, BCD, LLC Licensed Clinical Social Worker Board Certified Diplomate individual • couple • family • group therapy community education • staff training Offices in North Brunswick and Toms River

732-422-9400

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

MENTAL HEALTH

Brenda G. Forte, LCSW, CAS #SC00776

Intimacy / Relationship Issues 44 Elm Street, 2nd floor Addictions / Codependency Morristown, NJ 07960 Anxiety / Depression Trauma / Abuse 973-538-2818 Stress Reduction / Spirituality bfortelcsw@verizon.net Couples Counseling Mind / Body Psychotherapy www.BrendaFortePsychotherapy.com EMDR Certified / Certified Addiction Specialist

ORGANIZATIONS Alternate Thursdays; First Lutheran Church of Montclair, 153 Park St, Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-325-6809; kjdinkin@comcast.net; Social group for women. A great place to make new friends, find support, or meet someone special. We offer a comfortable, safe, and friendly atmosphere for you to discuss a variety of topics with like-minded women. We meet the 2nd Thursday of every month from 7:30 to 9pm. Any questions? Contact Kerry. * American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey; PO Box 32159, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-642-2084; info@aclu-nj.org; www.aclu-nj.org; A non-profit, nonpartisan organization working to fight civil liberties violations and to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to all people in this country by the Constitution and laws of the United States. The Argonauts; PO Box 1564, Asbury Park, NJ 07712; Argonauts_NJ@yahoo.com; www.ArgonautsNJ.org; A fraternal organization of Gay Leather Men in New Jersey and the surrounding areas. Based in Asbury Park, NJ, we come together with the spirit of leather brotherhood & friendship, both socially and in service to our community, striving to achieve growth as individuals and as part of the community-at-large.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS Asexual Visibility and Education Network; 314-210-7659; info@asexuality.org; www.asexuality.org; AVEN is a supportive community of asexual people and our allies. We seek to create open, honest public dialogue about asexuality. See article on page 34. BEAR CAFE New York Inc; PO Box 20043, West Village Station, New York, NY 10014; info@bearcafe.org; www.bearcafe.org; The alcohol-free coffeehouse for ALL men of all ages, races, types or interests held at the GLBT Community Center in Manhattan. Bloomfield College Gay/Non-Gay Alliance; 467 Franklin St, Bloomfield, NJ 07003; 973-748-9000; GNG_Alliance@bloomfield.edu; http://users.bloomfield.edu/clubs/gaynongayalliance; Established in 1998, the Alliance has taken on the mission of positively addressing issues affecting the effective communication and relationship between gay and non-gay persons. Bodies Like Ours; www.bodieslikeours.org/forums; Bodies Like Ours is an intersex advocacy organization focused on using information and peer support to end the shame and secrecy of being intersexed. Capital Rainbowfest Inc; PO Box 299, Trenton, NJ 08602; 609-396-9788 x7; info@capitalrainbowfest.org; www.capitalrainbowfest.org; Capital Rainbowfest Inc. produces the New Jersey Fall GLBTI Pride event in Mill Hill Park, at S. Broad St. and E. Front St. in downtown Trenton every September. Capital Rainbowfest is a charitable organization dedicated to bringing the diversity of the GLBTI Community and the diversity of the state of New Jersey together in our state capital. Call for meeting times. Central Jersey Lesbian Alliance; centraljerseyla@aol.com; groups.yahoo.com/group/CJLA; The mission of the Central Jersey Lesbian Alliance is to enrich the lives of our members and exhibit a positive lesbian community example. We accomplish this through arranging supportive and comfortable venues to socialize, providing information and resources regarding lesbian events and issues, participating in community volunteer activities, encouraging communication with other lesbian organizations and keeping abreast of political issues that affect the lesbian community. Central New Jersey Gay Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Opera Club; New Brunswick Area; 732-2499034; hagol@msn.com; We meet the 1st Sunday at 6:00pm in Somerset, NJ, to share favorite opera recordings and videos, and to socialize. Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE); c/o RFNJ, PO Box 1385, Maplewood, NJ 07040; 973-763-8511; info@rainbowfamiliesnj.org; The NJ Chapter of COLAGE meets 6-10 times per year and holds fun events for Children of Lesbian and Gay Families in NJ, ages 9 and over. COLAGE usually meets during the scheduled events of Rainbow Families of NJ, as well as at separate events. For more information on future events please e-mail us.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS The College of New Jersey: PRISM; 2000 Pennington Rd, The College of New Jersey, Ewing, NJ 08628; 609-771-2390; prism@tcnj.edu; www.tcnj.edu/~prism; TCNJ’s only group for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered people, and heterosexuals who support the movement for equality for all, regardless of sexuality. Meetings are at 3:30pm every Wednesday in Room 16 of the Student Center. Come Out and Play (COP); PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; cop@PrideCenter.org; www.pridecenter.org/cop; A social networking group for 20- and 30-somethings, offering a variety of social events, helpful workshops, and volunteering opportunities. Social group meets at PCNJ the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays, 7-9:30pm. Other events throughout the month. Visit COP website for more information. County College of Morris Pride Coalition; County College of Morris, Center Grove Rd, Randolph, NJ 07869; GLBTI student organization.

Here are just some of the movies we’ve shown in 9 years: Hairspray · D.E.B.S. · Kissing Jessica Stein · Aimee and Jaguar · Beautiful Thing · Y Tu Mama Tambien · Billy Elliot · Chicken Tikka Masala · The Twilight of the Golds · Gods and Monsters · Adam & Steve · Kinsey · Trick · Alexander · La Cage aux Folles · Twist · The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert · Bear Cub · Philadelphia · Cowboys and Angels · But I’m a Cheerleader · Love! Valour! Compassion! For more information, write to: gayfilms@bigfoot.com or visit www.groups.yahoo.com/group/NJGFSandPDC/

A Car Club for Gays and Lesbians in the NY Metro Area Contact Sandy Lea 908-392-1336 or LCCBaron@aol.com for more information. National website: www.lambdacarclub.com

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS Cuddle Party; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; A structured, safe workshop on boundaries, communication, intimacy, and affection. Meets at PCNJ 2nd Friday, 7:30pm sharp! Do not come late. $20 facilitator fee. Drew University: Alliance; 36 Madison Ave, Madison, NJ 07940; alliance@drew.edu; www.groups.drew.edu/alliance; The Drew University Alliance is a student-run organization that works toward unifying the GLBTQ Community with off-campus communities through education and awareness. Feminine Connection; PO Box 855, Oakland, NJ 07436; 201-337-6943; feminineconnect@aol.com; www.feminineconnect.org; Social group for women. Ford Gay Lesbian or Bisexual Employees (GLOBE); PMB #187, 26300 Ford Rd, Dearborn Heights, MI 48127; info@FordGLOBE.org; www.FordGLOBE.org; Ford GLOBE is an ever-expanding grassroots network of employees, retirees, and contractors at Ford Motor Company, its subsidiaries, and affiliates. We welcome new members. * GABLES of Cape May County; PO Box 641, Cape May Court House, NJ 08210; 609-861-1848; gables00@email.com; www.gablescapemay.com; Social and outreach organization whose purpose is to promote, secure, enhance, and protect the human dignity, integrity, and legal and political rights of lesbians, gays, and bisexual persons. Meets 3rd Monday at 7pm at the Church of the Advent, Cape May. See ad on page 124. Garden State Bears; groups.yahoo.com/group/gardenstatebears; We are a statewide social club for Bears, Chubs, Chasers, and Admirers. Garden State Equality; 500 Bloomfield Ave, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-GSE-LGBT (474-5428); Contact@GardenStateEquality.org; www.gardenstateequality.org; Statewide organization for GLBTI civil rights, with an advocacy arm that works to pass pro-LGBTI legislation and to fight for those facing discrimination, and a political arm that works to elect pro-LGBTI candidates. Garden State Equality has four offices: Its headquarters is in Montclair and it has regional offices in Asbury Park, Collingswood, and Trenton. Gay & Lesbian Political Action & Support Groups; PO Box 11406, New Brunswick, NJ 08906-1406; 732-744-1370; email@gaypasg.org; www.gaypasg.org; Supporting basic Civil Right, Same-Sex Civil Marriage and Safe Schools as major projects. * Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County; PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961-0137; Pay phone on Monday nights: 973-455-9738; Voice mail: 973-285-1595; info@gaamc.org; www.gaamc.org; Office and meeting place: Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, 21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960. Meetings on Monday evenings. Doors open at 6:30. Building is wheelchair accessible to first floor only. Read about us on pages 8-11.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS Gay and Lesbian Medical Association; 459 Fulton St, Suite 107, San Francisco, CA 94102; 415-255-4547; info@glma.org; www.glma.org; Are you gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered and looking for a healthcare provider you can trust? GLMA’s online provider directory can help. Search for primary care providers, specialists, therapists, dentists, and other healthcare providers in your area. Get the care you need and deserve. This service is free and you do not need to register. The Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA) is the world’s largest and oldest association of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered (GLBT) health care professionals. GLMA’s mission is to ensure equality in health care for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals and health care providers. See articles on pages 42, 44, and 46. Gay Dads Coming Out/Support; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Monthly meeting focusing on parent/child issues for gay dads. Meets at PCNJ 1st Wednesday, 7:30-9pm. Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) Chapters; www.glsen.org; GLSEN is the leading national education organization focused on ensuring safe schools for all students. GLSEN envisions a world in which every child learns to respect and accept all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. GLSEN seeks to develop school climates where difference is valued for the positive contribution it makes to creating a more vibrant and diverse community. Join your local GLSEN chapter to ensure that these issues receive local attention and help to make a difference in K-12 schools. GLSEN—Central New Jersey; PO Box 261, Hightstown, NJ 08520; 609-448-8243; cnj@njglsen.org; http://chapters.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/centralnj/home.html; GLSEN Central NJ is an accredited chapter of the national Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network working to make schools safer for all students, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. GLSEN—Northern New Jersey; 32 Jones St, Suite 302, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201-963-4779; glsen_nnj@yahoo.com; www.glsen.org/northernnj. Gay Men’s Guild; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; tenicola@optonline.net; www.pridecenter.org; The Gay Men’s Guild was established to make a positive difference in the lives of gay men by providing a nurturing environment of understanding and respect for gay men of New Jersey. The Guild is dedicated and committed to developing and maintaining a gay men’s community. For more information and meetings, e-mail Tom Nicola.

Want to be listed next year? See the Ad Request Form in the Centerfold!

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS Gay Pride Business Network; PO Box 255; Cranford, NJ 07016; carol@gpbn.org; GPBN is a business networking community dedicated to educating and motivating you to help you build relationships to grow your business. We connect to build business. All business people are welcome to join and network. We meet at Moonstruck Restaurant in Asbury Park (2nd and 4th Wednesdays) and at Catherine Lombardi's Restaurant in New Brunswick (1st Tuesdays). See ad on page 97. Gays Watch TV; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; A social group that watches TV for an hour. Meets at PCNJ every Monday at 9pm. Get there at 8 to order delivery. * Gender Rights Advocacy Association of New Jersey (GRAANJ); c/o 119 Manor Dr, Red Bank, NJ 07701; 732-603-0514; njgender@aol.com; A statewide membership organization committed to securing full civil rights for transgendered and intersexed people, and individuals of non-stereotypical gender identity and expression, without regard to race, religion, or sexual orientation. Call or e-mail for further information. See ad on page 97. Heritage of Pride Inc; 154 Christopher St, Suite 1D, New York, NY 10014; 212-80-PRIDE (212-807-7433); Fax: 212-807-7436; www.nycpride.org; Heritage of Pride organizes Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Pride events in New York City to commemorate and celebrate the Stonewall Riots. Pride Week 2009: June 20-28. 40th anniversary of Stonewall this year. Hudson Diversity Action Council; 32 Jones St, Suite 301, Jersey City, NJ 07306; www.hudsondiversity.org; Hudson Diversity Action Council advances the issues of underserved populations through political action, voter mobilization, and community education. Our mission is to represent a unified voting bloc and raise both awareness and funding for electoral candidates who will foster progress on the issues that are important to our community. * Human Rights Campaign; Greater NY/NJ Steering Committee; www.hrc.org/contactus; http://greaterny.hrc.org; The Human Rights Campaign lobbies and provides support for fair-minded candidates and educates the public on topics affecting GLBT Americans. * Jersey City Lesbian + Gay Outreach, Inc (JCLGO); 32 Jones St, Suite 303, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201-333-5725; info@jclgo.org; www.jclgo.org; A not-forprofit, all-volunteer organization dedicated to being a vital voice in Jersey City that brings the GLBTI Community together. Produces Jersey Cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Annual GLBTI Pride Festival in August. Jersey City Pride 2009 will be held Saturday, August 29. See ad on page 29.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS * Jersey Pride, Inc; PO Box 10796, New Brunswick, NJ 08906; 732-21 GAY NJ (732-214-2965); info@jerseypride.org; www.jerseypride.org; The all-volunteer organization that produces NJ’s Annual Statewide GLBTI Pride Celebration the 1st weekend in June in Asbury Park (Saturday and Sunday, June 6 & 7, 2009). JPI is committed to increasing the visibility of, and promoting the well being of NJ’s GLBTI Community through annual pride events, year-round fundraising efforts, and production of the critically acclaimed magazine, The Jersey Gaze. See ad on page 53. Jersey Shore Q-Spot; Jersey Shore Community Center Project, PO Box 855, Belmar, NJ 07719; info@jsqspot.org; www.jsqspot.org; Offers specific programs and services to the GLBTI Community in Monmouth and Ocean Counties, which include 4 initiatives focused on Health, Seniors, Family, and Youth. Meetings held on Monday nights in Asbury Park and a once-a-month Quesday program with speakers and other events. Kean University: P.R.I.D.E. (Peers, Respect, Interaction, Diversity, Equality) (Formerly BiHG-TALK); Office of Student Life and Leadership Development, 1000 Morris Ave, Union, NJ 07083; 908-737-5170; KeanPRIDE@gmail.com; www.kean.edu/resident_clubs.html#2; PRIDE’s goal is to come together with new and improved ideas as they set out to protect and respect the pride of the gay, lesbian, transgender, transsexual, intersexual, bisexual, questioning, and ally community. Regular meetings during academic calendar year, scheduled at the beginning of each semester. Lambda Car Club; 908-392-1336; LCCBaron@aol.com; www.lambdacarclub.com; A car club for gays and lesbians in the NY Metro area. See ad on page 91. Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM); 208 West 13th St, New York, NY 10011; LSMNYC@hotmail.com; www.lesbiansexmafia.org; Founded in 1981, we are one of the oldest women’s BDSM support and education groups in the country. Our membership is primarily in the tri-state area of NY, NJ, and CT. LSM is a support and information group for all women 18 years of age or older, including transsexual and intersexed women who live their daily lives as women and all female-born transgendered people who feel they have a connection with and respect for the women’s community. Our principles are few but basic: confidentiality, consensuality, safety, and the right of women to explore their sexuality as they choose. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Center of NYC; 208 West 13th St, New York, NY 10011-7702; 212-620-7310; Fax: 212-924-2657; www.gaycenter.org; New York City’s gay community center. Via subway: Take 1, 2, 3, A, C, F, V trains to 14th St.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS Lesbians & Gay Men of New Brunswick; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; njrj@aol.com; www.pridecenter.org; Social, educational, rap, potlucks, for everyone. Meets at PCNJ 2nd & 4th Tuesdays at 8:30pm. * Log Cabin Republicans of NJ; 1901 Pennsylvania Ave, NW, Suite 902, Washington, DC 20006; 973-635-5373; membership@logcabin.org; coffeelen@att.net; www.logcabin.org; Log Cabin Republicans courageously stand on the front lines of today’s most important battleground for gay and lesbian civil rights. We are the nation’s leading voice for fairness, inclusion, and tolerance in the GOP. The nation’s largest gay and lesbian Republican organization, with local chapters at the state level. Long Yang Club—New Jersey; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; For gay Asians and Pacific Islanders and their friends. E-mail for more information. Magnus Hirschfeld Center for Human Rights; Crosswicks House, PO Box 1974, Bloomfield, NJ 07003; 862-823-1767; wacourson@hotmail.com; www.geocities.com/mhc_humanrights/index3.html; A non-governmental, nonprofit organization engaged in the promotion of GLBT human rights and civil liberties under international law. Bill Courson, executive director. Men Living Out; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Support discussion about gay men Living Out of the Closet.. Afterward, men go to a diner to socialize. Meets at PCNJ every Wednesday at 7:30pm. Men’s Coming Out Group; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; njwarrior@aol.com; www.pridecenter.org; A moderated discussion group for issues related to coming out as gay or bisexual men. Meets at PCNJ every Wednesday at 7:30pm. Men’s Games Night and Dessert; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Monthly games night for men. Opportunity for guys to meet, play board games, and get to socialize. Meets at PCNJ 4th Saturday, 7pm. Montclair State University: Gay & Lesbian Faculty & Staff Association; Montclair State University, 1 Normal Ave, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-6554168; GLFSA@mail.montclair.edu; We represent the diverse community of GLBT faculty and staff of Montclair State University.

Want to be a GAAMC Member? The Membership Form is in the Centerfold!

GAAMCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS

Catherine Lombardi

Moonstruck

3 Livingston Ave New Brunswick, NJ

512 Lake Ave Asbury Park, NJ

1st Tuesday of Month

2nd & 4th Wednesdays of Month

www.gpbn.org

e-mail: info@gpbn.org

GRAANJ The Gender Rights Advocacy Association of New Jersey applauds Governor Jon S. Corzine and NJ Motor Vehicle Commission Chief Administrator Sharon A. Harrington for their new common sense and responsible policy to enable transgendered and intersexed people to change the gender status on their New Jersey Driver License to reflect their actual gender. We anticipate the NJ policy to set a standard for other states. We strongly encourage the NJ Legislature to pass true marriage equality law, Separate is not equal! Gender Rights Advocacy Association of New Jersey njgender@aol.com â&#x20AC;&#x201D; 732-603-0514 119 Manor Dr, Red Bank, NJ 07701

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS Sexuality, Pride, EduCation, Truth, Respect and Unity @ Montclair State (SPECTRUMS); c/o Student Government Association, Montclair State University, 1 Normal Ave, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-655-3417; spectrums.msu@gmail.com; www.geocities.com/SPECTRUMS_MSU; A student organization dedicated to educating the community about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender issues. Movie Social; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Gay feature shown on state-ofthe-art DVD projector. Popcorn, drinks, and refreshments included. Meets at PCNJ 2nd Saturday, 7pm. NARAL Pro-Choice New Jersey Foundation; PO Box 23312, Trenton, NJ 08607; 609-439-4516; Fax: 609-392-0244; prochoicenj@prochoicenj.org; www.prochoicenj.org; We provide materials and programs regarding the issue of reproductive and personal freedom, privacy, access to services for all people, and protection of New Jersey as a progressive haven. Services include: Fact sheets, speakers and issue-related materials, high school and college programs, participation in statewide coalitions, and creation of legislation which protects reproductive rights. All our services are provided free of charge. * National Association of Social Workers—NJ Chapter; NJ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Issues SIG; 200 Metroplex Dr, Suite 404, Edison, NJ 08817; 732-248-1590; www.naswnj.org; Serving social workers concerned with GLBT issues. Maintains list of sympathetic therapists. National Organization for Lesbians of SizE (NOLOSE); PO Box 5475, Oakland, CA 94805; 888-831-2139; info@nolose.org; www.nolose.org; A support, social, and networking group for fat or fat-positive lesbians, bi-women, trans folks and our allies. National Organization for Women—Morris County; PO Box 394, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-285-1200; MorrisCountyNOW@hotmail.com; www.morriscountynow.org; Play a part in creating positive change for women and families. Make your voice heard. Meetings 1st Tuesday of the month, 7:30pm, at the Morris Plains Community Center, Jim Fear Drive. See ad on page 35. National Organization for Women—NJ; 110 W State St, Trenton, NJ 08608; 609-393-0156; NOW-NJ@nownj.org; www.nownj.org; Since its founding in 1966, NOW’s goal has been to take action to bring about equality for all women. NOW works to eliminate discrimination and harassment in the workplace, schools, the justice system, and all other sectors of society; secure abortion, birth control, and reproductive rights for all women; end all forms of violence against women; eradicate racism, sexism, and homophobia; and promote equality and justice in our society.

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2009

ORGANIZATIONS New Jersey Bares; PO Box 389, Sparta, NJ 07871; njbares@hotmail.com; A male gay nudist group. Meets for socializing and making new friends. New Jersey Furs; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; ShyMatsi@gmail.com; www.pridecenter.org; Social group focused on members of the NJ gay community who are fans of anthropomorphic animals. Also known as Furries, we have local meets, plan events and conventions, and have fun. E-mail Shy for info. New Jersey Gay Film Society and Potluck Dinner Club; gayfilms@earthlink.net; To RSVP: RSVPgayfilms@earthlink.net; www.home.earthlink.net/~gayfilms/; www.groups.yahoo.com/group/NJGFSandPDC; Our group offers a GLBTI-themed movie/social event—including a friendly potluck dinner—the third Saturday of every month at 7:00pm at a different host’s home in northern or central NJ. We show mostly recent GLBTI movies—from comedy to drama. Admission is free but you must bring a favorite entrée, side dish, dessert, and/or beverage to share. See ad on page 91. New Jersey Lesbian & Gay Coalition/Personal Liberty Fund; PO Box 11335, Wayne, NJ 08906-1335; 732-828-6772; Fax: 732-249-5002; mail@njlgc.org; www.njlgc.org; Statewide organization representing the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and intersex communities in NJ. See ad on page 88. New Jersey Rainbow Alliance of the Deaf; plt311@comcast.net; www.njrad.org; NJRAD a non-profit organization for Deaf GLBTIQ in NJ and its vicinities. * New Jersey Stonewall Democrats; PO Box 8221, New Market Station, Piscataway, NJ 08855; 732-603-0514; www.njstonewalldemocrats.org; Founded in January 2000 to bring together Democrats: gay; lesbian; bisexual; transgender; intersexed, and straight, to influence the leaders of New Jersey’s Democratic Party to understand and support equal rights for our community. From within the party itself, we maintain an ongoing dialog with leaders, helping them fight for the ideals of the Democratic Party, while embracing equality for all Americans: in our party; our state; and our country. Join us now! * New Jersey Support Group; 206-600-7860; www.njsg.org; New Jersey Support Group provides a cultural medium for all identifying as transgender, transsexual, or crossdresser in NJ & East PA through which we can give & receive support by sharing our diverse life experiences as gifted individuals. We provide a relaxed, noncompetitive, informal, & safe atmosphere for all members of the transgender community regardless of their age, race, religious affiliation, or sexual orientation. New York boys of Leather; newyorkboysofleather@gmail.com; www.NYbol.org; A leather social organization whose mission is to provide leatherboys with a forum to have fun, learn, educate, socialize, and support each other and the NYC and national leather communities.

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ORGANIZATIONS Onyx New York; PO Box 67, New York, NY 10013; onyxnymc@onyxny.org; www.onyxny.org; An organization formed and operated by People of Color who enjoy the leather and fetish lifestyles. Onyx NY sets as its goals: 1) to provide an informational and social organization, which addresses issues specific to People of Color, who choose to project the positive aspects of the leather & fetish lifestyles in a culturally competent manner, and 2) to support our community and economic initiatives as well as to support spirituality, safety, and saneness in social and sexual settings. ONYX-Pearls Northeast; ONYXPearlsNE@gmail.com; ONYXPearlsNEsubscribe@yahoogroups.com; A non-profit BDSM organization for Women of Color and their admirers. Our goal is to provide an informational/social organization to address issues specific to Women of Color (of African, Aboriginal, Asian, or Hispanic ancestry) who choose to discuss/participate in the Leather/SM/Fetish lifestyle. Support, education, developing friendships, empowering the sisterhood, and safety for women, without discrimination, is key to achieving our goal. We welcome all women 21+ years of age, with an interest in the Leather/SM/Fetish lifestyle. Not a Woman of Color? You’re still welcome to join as an Associate Member so feel free to contact us. Orthodykes; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Helping women who are traditional Jews and lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered live at peace with those two aspects of identity. Meets at PCNJ 3rd Sunday, 7:30-9:00pm. Overeater’s Anonymous; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; markdoa@gmail.com; www.pridecenter.org; A program of recovery for compulsive overeaters using the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop eating compulsively. There will be a GLBT special focus. Meets at PCNJ on Mondays, 7:30pm. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays—PFLAG Chapters; info@pflag.org; www.community.pflag.org; Find a PFLAG Chapter near you. PFLAG was founded in 1981 by 25 parents concerned with society’s attitude toward their gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered children. Today, PFLAG represents more than 65,000 families and friends in the United States and speaks for the thousands of others who cannot. We are dedicated to providing support, education, and advocacy to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people, their families and their friends. * PFLAG-Bergen County; PO Box 1330, Ridgewood, NJ 07450; 201-287-0318; info@BergenPFLAG.org; www.pflag-bergennj.org; This chapter of PFLAG works to “promote the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons through support to cope with an adverse society; education to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights.” Meets at Temple Beth-Or, 56 Ridgewood Rd, Washington Township, on the 3rd Tuesday, 8-9:30pm; Newcomers, 7:30pm.

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ORGANIZATIONS PFLAG-Jersey Shore; 1681 Ridgeway Rd. (Route 571), Toms River, NJ 08757; 908-814-2155; jerseyshorepflag@yahoo.com; www.jerseyshorepflag.org; Founded in 2004, the group meets at 7:00pm the 2nd Wednesday at the United Church of Christ of Toms River. See www.tomsriverucc.org for directions. PFLAG-Morris County; PO Box 490, Brookside, NJ 07926; 973-543-7229; craig.bcc@verizon.net; Meets at 7:30pm on the 2nd Monday at Brookside Community Church, 8 E. Main St, Brookside. Directions at www.brooksidechurch.org. * PFLAG-North Jersey; PO Box 4585, Wayne, NJ 07470; 973-267-8414; pflagwaver@aol.com; www.pflagnorthjersey.org; Meets the 2nd Sunday (except 3rd Sunday in May) at the First Presbyterian & Trinity Church, 111 Irvington Ave, South Orange. Newcomer’s meeting is at 1:30 and our regular meeting is from 2:30 to 4:15. Wheelchair accessible; call a few days ahead. PFLAG-Princeton; c/o HiTOPS Inc, 21 Wiggins St, Princeton, NJ 08540; 609683-5155 x217; Fax: 609-683-9507; corrine@hitops.org; www.pflagprinceton.org; Meets the 2nd Monday at Trinity Church, 33 Mercer St, Princeton, in the George Thomas Room at 7:30pm. Plainfield Area Equality; joan.hervey@plainfieldareaequality.com; Newsletter and calendar of events in and around Plainfield, NJ. Pocono Warriors; PO Box 338, Rahway, NJ 07065; CNJBrownBear@aol.com; www.poconowarriors.org; A Levi/Leather men’s club. We meet several times a year, mostly in New York City and Philadelphia. We are involved in helping the leather community through sponsoring and participating in charitable fund raising events, including hosting our own annual “100 Men in the Woods”. * Pride Center of New Jersey; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; Mail: PO Box 5130, New Brunswick, NJ; 732-846-2232; info@pridecenter.org; www.pridecenter.org; A fast-growing community center, The Pride Center provides a Safe Space for the GLBTIQ community: a place to learn about our community from a vast array of resources, a place to socialize and meet new friends, and a place to gain acceptance and understanding of your gender and sexual identity in a comfortable setting. The Pride Center offers a warm and welcoming atmosphere and a knowledgeable and helpful staff. Whether New Jersey’s GLBTIQ community is new or familiar to you, The Pride Center is a place to call home and return to again and again. Open weeknights 7-10pm and some weekend evenings. See ad on page 89. Princeton University Pride Alliance; The GLBT Center, 246 Frist Campus Center, Princeton, NJ 08544; pride@princeton.edu; www.princeton.edu/~pride; Founded in 1972, the Princeton Pride Alliance represents the interests of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and questioning members of the community at Princeton University in all matters which affect and are relevant to it.

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ORGANIZATIONS Queer Montclair: Out in Essex; PO Box 1974, Bloomfield, NJ 07003; 862823-1767; Montclair’s virtual GLBTIQ community and serving the Essex County area. * Rainbow Families of New Jersey; PO Box 1385, Maplewood, NJ 07040; 973763-8511; info@rainbowfamiliesnj.org; www.rainbowfamiliesnj.org; Provides a means for GLBT parents in New Jersey to form a community, supports other GLBT individuals in their efforts to become parents, fosters awareness of and respect for GLBT-headed households to the general public, and advocates for the issues and concerns that face GLBT families. Ramapo College of New Jersey—Gay Peer Services; 505 Ramapo Valley Rd, Mahwah, NJ 07430; 201-684-6209; Fax: 201-825-0276; GPS@ramapo.edu; www.queer-ramapo.org; Gay Peer Services attempts to establish a more diverse, safe environment for students, faculty and staff at the college. Meets Mondays at 1pm in the Women’s Center, C-220. Raritan Valley Community College’s GSA, the Alliance; 118 Lamington Rd, Branchburg, NJ 08876; Meets 1st Tuesday. Rowan University Gay-Straight Alliance; 201 Mullica Hill Rd, Glassboro, NJ 08028; 856-256-4500, x3127; gsa_rowan@yahoo.com; www.rowan.edu/mars/clubs/gsa/index.html; An organization supporting unity between GLBT and straight students. Rutgers University—Newark Campus: (RU Pride) Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Straight Alliance; Office: 101 Warren St, Smith Hall Room 341, Newark, NJ 07102; rupride@pegasus.rutgers.edu; RU Pride was founded in 2008 as a driving force for achieving resources, awareness and acceptance for the Rutgers GLBT campus community and greater Newark area. Meetings every Wednesday at 2:30pm in Hill Hall Room 204. Rutgers University: Bisexual/Gay/Lesbian Alliance at Rutgers University (BiGLARU); Rutgers College Student Activities Center, SAC Box 91, 13 George St, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; biglaru_biglaru@yahoo.com; www.scils.rutgers.edu/~biglaru; Serves the GLBT community in its mission to strive for universal acceptance and equality. Founded in 1969 as the Rutgers Homophile League, the second ever collegiate GLBT organization in the United States. Murray Hall Room 213 Thursdays at 9:30pm. South Asian Lesbian and Gay Association (SALGA!); PO Box 524, Rahway, NJ 07065; 908-342-1625; cusp1221@gmail.com; SALGA-NJ is a social, political and support group for GLBT people who trace their descent from South Asian countries. Meets at PCNJ on the 3rd Saturday from 4:30 to 6:30pm, starting up again in September 2009.

Want to be a GAAMC Member? The Membership Form is in the Centerfold!

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ORGANIZATIONS * South Jersey NOW—Alice Paul Chapter; PO Box 2801, Cherry Hill, NJ 08034; 856-778-8320; www.southjerseynow.org; This chapter of NOW is involved in so many different activities that there is usually something for everyone. Whether your key issue is equal pay for equal work, ending violence against women, reproductive rights, child care, divorce law, women in politics, or ending racism, this chapter is doing something about it. Two free chapter newsletters sent on request (leave message on our answering machine or e-mail request). Stonewall Democrats; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; The New Jersey Stonewall Democrats (NJSD) is the state organization of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and intersexed Democrats and their allies and friends. NJSD is committed to its mission of improving the responsiveness of the Democratic Party and Democratic officeholders to our communities’ issues and to educating voters on the vast difference between the two major parties that exists on issues of importance to our communities. We are an affiliate of National Stonewall Democrats. Meets at PCNJ 4th Tuesday, 7-9pm. Trenton Area NOW; TrentonAreaNOW@yahoo.com. * Trenton Gay and Lesbian Civic Association; PO Box 33209, 986 South Broad St, Trenton, NJ 08629-0209; 609-396-9788; www.tglca.com; Fosters greater participation of Trenton’s gays and lesbians in civic life, promotes the positive aspects of Trenton to gays and lesbians from other communities, and acts as a liaison between the gay and lesbian community and government. Meets every 3rd Wednesday of the month at 7:00pm at the Mill Hill Saloon, 300 S. Broad St. at Market St, Trenton. Tuesday Night Lesbian Connection (TLC); 409 Mountain Ave, (at the corner of Union Ave. Rt. 28), Bound Brook, NJ 08805; info4tnlc@yahoo.com; groups.yahoo.com/group/info4tnlc; We’re a friendly lesbian social group that gathers every Tuesday night around 7:30 at the Bound Brook Presbyterian Church to socialize. Send an e-mail to get on our e-mail list for a current schedule. Women’s Coffee House; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Women’s Coffee house featuring musical entertainment, comedy, ice breakers, fun, and networking! From September to May (Summer hiatus). Meets at PCNJ 1st Saturday, 7pm. Writers Group; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904; 732-846-2232; njwriter2006@hotmail.com; www.pridecenter.org; Writers and would-be writers meet to read and discuss works in progress in a supportive atmosphere, and more! Any genre is welcome. Meets at PCNJ Thursdays at 7pm.

Want to be listed next year? See the Ad Request Form in the Centerfold!

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PERSONAL SERVICES Lorraine Cannata, Certified Clinical Electrologist; Morris County Area; 973770-3552; Permanent hair removal. Hours by appointment. See ad on page 27. Sue Harris, Private Tutor; Morris County Area; 908-581-0098; sueharris59@yahoo.com; 32 years of tutoring experience. Specializing in Math and Computers. All grades and levels from Addition to Vectors. Plus science, English, and social studies. See ad below. Joanna’s Moving LLC; Joanna Hopkinson; 236 Harrison Ave, Jersey City, NJ 07304; 201-434-5309 or 888-942-7812; Fax: 201-435-8332; joannasmoving@comcast.net. See ad below. Tibbie Reynolds, Piano instructor; Morris County area; 973-539-7064. See ad on page 39. Elias Scultori; Personal/Professional Coaching; 732-419-2566; elias@lifecoaching-egs.com; www.lifecoaching-egs.com; Tired of vicious cycles? Ready to embrace life? Let’s together build the path that will lead you to reaching your most important life goals and dreams. Yes, you can! See article on page 19.

JOANNA’S M OVING LLC Residential Specialists - pianos, art & antiques a specialty - local and long distance moves - gay owned and operated - packing experts - free estimates

201-434-5309 888-942-7812 Lic. pm000086200 www.joannasmoving.com

Tutoring By Sue! Specialties: Math & Computers. Elementary through Graduate School. All Topics: From Addition to Vectors, plus Science, English, & Social Studies.

Sue Harris: 908-581-0098 32 years of experience

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PHYSICAL HEALTH

FIT WELL

AND

FITNESS

37 Mountain Avenue Springfield, New Jersey

973-379-6366

Personal Training •

Individualized Exercise Programs

•

One-to-One Supervision

•

Certified Personal Trainers

•

Certified Massage Therapists

Christopher Selitto, Owner & Certified Trainer

Serving the GLBTI Community Since 1992

Wouldn’t You Rather Have a Doctor Who Specializes in You? FAMILY PRACTICE ASSOCIATES, PC, BERNARDSVILLE Thomas S. Ziering, MD, FAAFP Michelle L. Iacaruso, DO Alex Wieselman, EdS • • • • • •

Routine and Sick Pediatric, Adolescent & Adult Medicine Family Centered or Individual Medical Care Adult, Child, Camp, Work Physicals and Health Assessments Women and Adolescent Routine Gynecology Emergency Wound Care & Minor Surgery Dermatology: Skin Rejuvenation with Botox, Restylin, and Obaji Acne and Scar Removal with Blu Light and Gentle Chemical Peels • Mood Disorders: Depression and Anxiety • Family Focused Medicine • Individual, Couples, and Family Counseling

Healthcare for the GLBT Community in a Safe, Affirming, and Supportive Environment

Daily, Evening, and Saturday appointments available 39 Olcott Square, Bernardsville, NJ • Phone 908-221-1919 • Fax 908-221-1005

Please call our office to schedule a Complimentary “Meet & Greet” with our Doctors & Staff

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dian fitzpatrick, MA, MS

Honor Your Body Yoga 908‐625‐9229

E‐mail: feministd@msn.com Private and semi‐private yoga sessions specializing in round bodies, physically challenged bodies, and those with age related limitations.

Yoga is a healthful way to live. Healthy Transitions, LLC is a practice developed by members of the GLBTI/Kink Community for members of the GLBTI/Kink Community and their families. We strive to create a confidential, safe, and caring environment to provide quality medical and mental health services in one location. Dr. Lisa O’Connor specializes in:

Lisa O’Connor, M.D. [xtÄà{ç gÜtÇá|à|ÉÇá? __V Stirling, NJ www.healthytransitions.md Tel: 908-647-1688

 Medical Management: medication management, supervised hormone replacement therapy  Mental Health Counseling  Primary Health Care  Free MtF Transgender Support Group  Public Speaking, Education, Seminars

Committed to Providing Accessible and Quality Care to All Children WARREN OFFICE 76 Stirling Road, Ste 201 908 755 KIDS (5437)

FANWOOD OFFICE 346 South Ave Ste 3 908 889 TOTS (8687)

WALK IN SICK VISITS: Mon-Fri: 8am-11am; 2pm-5pm

* Newly Renovated Office * Same day sick appointments

www.watchungpediatrics.com

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Fit-Well Personal Training, LLC; Christopher Selitto, Owner & Certified Trainer; 37 Mountain Ave, Springfield, NJ 07081; 973-379-6366; fit-well@comcast.net; www.fitwelltraining.com; Personal trainers, fitness consultants, and certified massage therapists. See ad on page 105. Healthy Transitions; located near the border of Somerset and Morris Counties, NJ; 908-647-1688; Fax: 908-647-5180; www.healthytransitions.md; Our services include discreet medical care and counseling for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, intersexed, and transgendered client, as well as their families and friends. Free support group for MtF transgendered clients meets the 2nd Saturday at 2:30pm at the Stirling Office. See article on page 28 and ad on page 106. Heartful Touch; Dennis Sprick; 366 A Shore Dr, Montague, NJ 07827; 973901-2306; theheartfultouch@yahoo.com; www.heartfultouch.com; Swedish massage, reflexology, and CranioSacral Therapy. In or outcalls, Gift Certificates available. Serving the GLBTI Community since 1998. Call Dennis for an appointment. Honor Your Body Yoga; dian fitzpatrick, MA, MS; 908-625-9229; feministd@msn.com; Private and semi-private yoga sessions specializing in round bodies, physically challenged bodies, and those with age related limitations. Yoga is a healthful way to live. See ad on page 106. Samuel L. Jacobs, MD; Cooper Center for Reproductive Hormonal Disorders, 8002 E Greentree Commons, Marlton, NJ 08053; 859-751-5575; Fax: 856-751-7289; question@ccivf.com; www.ccivf.com; Gynecology; Reproductive endocrinology and infertility.

Blending the art and science of dentistry Our mission is to treat the individual needs of patients with comprehensive care. We combine our knowledge of dentistry and advanced technology to create beautiful, natural smiles. Whatever your concerns, we will develop a custom plan that meets your needs and gives you the healthy, stunning smile you deserve. We offer sophisticated dental care, including general dentistry, cosmetic makeovers, porcelain veneers and crowns, sedation, implants, and Invisalign all in one convenient location.

120 Park Avenue, Madison, NJ 07940

973-377-7088

www.MadisonDentalGroup.com

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Stacy Kaplan, DO, FACS; Godiva Plastic & Reconstructive Surgery P.C.; 601 Ewing St, Suite B17, Princeton, NJ 08540; 609-688-8800; Fax: 609-688-8801; SKaplanDO@aol.com; www.DrStacyKaplan.com; Plastic and reconstructive surgery. Dr. Richard Levine, MD; Tatem-Brown Family Practice Center, 2225 Evesham Rd, Suite 101, Voorhees, NJ 08043; 856-795-4330; Fax: 856-325-3704; rlevine@virtua.org; Family Medicine. NJ Lic. 62913. Madison Dental Group; 120 Park Ave, Madison, NJ 07940; 973-377-7088; andrea@madisondentalgroup.com; www.madisondentalgroup.com; See ad on page 107. NJ Center for the Healing Arts; 623 River Rd, Fair Haven, NJ 07704; 732747-2944; www.njcha.org. Planned Parenthood Affiliates of New Jersey; PO Box 512, Trenton, NJ 086039985; 800-230-PLAN (7526) for your closest health center or 609-278-5863 for the public affairs office; info.ppanj@ppfa.org; www.plannedparenthoodnj.org; Planned Parenthood Affiliates of New Jersey is the statewide public affairs office that represents the 5 Planned Parenthood affiliates throughout the Garden State. Its role is to enhance our ability to protect reproductive freedom, and to ensure access to reproductive health care to all New Jerseyans, regardless of individual circumstance. Collectively, Planned Parenthood operates 29 health centers around the state that provide highquality, affordable medical care to approximately 85,500 patients each year. Jonathan Taylor; 11 Pine St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-539-3444; jmtaylor123@gmail.com; Chiropractor. Union Family Medicine; Dr. David Rizzo; 2300 Vauxhall Rd, Union, NJ 07083; 908-688-4424; Fax: 908-688-4832; info@UnionFamilyMedicine.com; www.UnionFamilyMedicine.com; NJ Lic. MB070080. Visiting Nurse Association of Central Jersey; 176 Riverside Ave, Red Bank, NJ 07701; 800-862-3330; www.vnacj.org; Compassionate, caring, patient-centered. Healthcare delivered to you by people who take the time to know you, not just your medical history. We bring advanced care to where you’re most comfortable and can heal the fastest—your home. Watchung Pediatrics; 76 Stirling Rd, Suite 201, Warren, NJ 07059; 908755-5437; and 346 South Ave, Suite 3, Fanwood, NJ 07023; 908-889-8687; www.WatchungPediatrics.com; Committed to providing accessible and quality care to all children! See ad on page 106. Women’s Health and Counseling Center; Sexual Assault Support Services, 71 Fourth St, Somerville, NJ 08876; 908-526-2335 x 130; Hotline: 908-5267444; See articles on pages 48 and 49. Thomas S. Ziering, MD, FAAFP; 39 Olcott Square, Bernardsville, NJ 07924; 908-221-1919; Fax: 908-221-1005; Family Practice. GLBT Health. Still accepting new patients. Hours are by appointment. NJ Lic. MA52170. See article on page 33 and on page 105.

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P R I N T /R A D I O /W E B Are You Entertained; Posterity, Ink—Publisher, 21 Southside Ave, Somerville, NJ 08876; bearealman@gmail.com; www.myspace.com/bearealman; An antidote to corporate crap. A cure for the commonplace. A program which uncovers overlooked issues, stories, and perspectives in news, politics, society,, and under-appreciated pop cultures which deserve greater appreciation. Don’t forget to laugh. A radio program in search of a good home: Listen. It’s coming back. Produced, and hosted by Bill Stella. Challenge ; PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961; ChallengeNews@gaamc.org; www.gaamc.org; The Best Damn Newsletter in New ® Jersey . A benefit of GAAMC membership, or available by subscription ($25/year). See ad below. GAAMC—Yahoo Group; groups.yahoo.com/group/GAAMC; This group provides a forum for GAAMC members and non-members to exchange ideas and make announcements pertinent to our community. The Gate; TheGateNews@Yahoogroups.com; Join e-mail list: thegatenewssubscribe@yahoogroups.com; Your Gateway to BDSM & Alternative Lifestyles: The Gate’s Mailing List—The Gate helps educate and promotes all events up and down the East Coast and then some. Gayellow Pages; PO Box 533-GAA, Village Station, New York, NY 10014; 646-213-0263; gypages@gmail.com; www.gayellowpages.com; The ORIGINAL Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender yellow pages: since 1973. See ad on page 112. Generation Q; 732-932-7800 x913; Studio (during show times only): 732-9328800; www.wrsu.edu; Queer Radio from New Brunswick with Pedro Serrano. Tuesdays 12-2pm on WRSU-FM 88.7.

CHALLENGE

The newsletter of GAAMC, The Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County

“The best damn newsletter in New Jersey” 1 year (10 issues) for $25

GAAMC, PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961

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P R I N T /R A D I O /W E B Highest Common Denominator; 21 Southside Ave, Somerville, NJ 08876; bearealman@gmail.com; www.myspace.com/bearealman; Great music doesn’t end with the commercial. Fresh new music passionately presented with clever segues, musician contacts, and context. GLBT artists played prominently. Conscious music for conscious folks. Produced and hosted by Bill Stella. Please send music for airplay & concert announcements. A Live web radio program in search of a good home: Listen. It’s coming back.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Directory of Services and Resources ; New York City Office of the Comptroller, 1 Centre St, New York, NY 10007-2341; 212-669-2697; action@comptroller.nyc.gov; www.comptroller.nyc.gov/bureaus/cac/faq.shtm#seven; The directory includes information from New York City and the metropolitan area, including New Jersey. The directory also is available online in PDF. New Jersey Leather; Info@NewJerseyLeather.com; groups.yahoo.com/group/NewJerseyLeather; www.NewJerseyLeather.com; A resource and forum created to serve as a clearing house for information relating to the Leather, Bear, BDSM/Kink related events, information and resources that are important to the members of our community in New Jersey, NYC, Philly, and the surrounding areas. The KidDictionary: A Book of Words Parents Need But Don’t Have; Eric Ruhalter; www.TheKidDictionary.com; If you have kids, know kids, know someone who has kids, or ever were a kid, then this humorous yet insightful book is for you. The KidDictionary provides a working lingo for people saddled with the chore of describing the many and varied complexities of living in the company of children. Which is challenging enough, even without a language barrier.

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P R I N T /R A D I O /W E B New Jersey Southern Shores Rainbow Directory; PO Box 812, Cape May, NJ 08204; 609-861-1848, ext 5; rainbowdirectory@gmail.com; www.njrainbowdirectory.com; Published by GABLES of Cape May County, Inc. An annual directory of businesses and organizations that proudly serve the GLBTQI Community of New Jersey. Winner of the NJ Governor’s Award for Excellence in Tourism. See ad below. NJGayLife.com; Bonnie Kantor, c/o Pressing Issues, PO Box 224, Metuchen, NJ 08840; 732-549-9054; Fax: 732-549-9056; www.njgaylife.com; The original, the official, and still the best website for the GLBTI Community in New Jersey since 1997. See ad on page 110. OutAndAboutInNJ—Yahoo Group; groups.yahoo.com/group/OutAndAboutInNJ; A place for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and intersexed people (and friends) from all over the United States (but primarily NJ) to post messages of interest, meet one another, and get and give support to one another. All are welcome! * Out IN Jersey magazine; 743 Hamilton Ave, Trenton, NJ 08629; 609-213-9310; Fax: 609-599-2304; peterfrycki@outinjersey.net; www.outinjersey.net; New Jersey’s free and independent source for GLBTI news and views. See ad on page 113.

New Jersey Southern Shores Rainbow Directory New Jersey’s Largest Gay Tourism Publication

PO Box 812, Cape May, NJ 08204-0812

609-861-1848 rainbowdirectory@gmail.com www.njrainbowdirectory.com One Ad—One Time—One Price Published by GABLES of Cape May County, Inc. An annual directory of organizations and businesses that proudly serve the GLBTIQ Community of New Jersey. Winner of the NJ Governor’s Award for Excellence in Tourism

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REAL ESTATE SERVICES Robert Kohl; Re/Max Renown Realty, 770 Route 10, Randolph, NJ 07869; 973-361-8400; Res: 908-852-7234; bob5211@aol.com; www.bobkohl.com; Serving our community since 1989. Robert Ort, Weichert Realtors; 64 Main St, Chatham, NJ 07928; 973-635-5000; Cell: 973-476-5505; Fax: 973-635-5086; chathambobort@aol.com, www.bobort.com; See ad below.

Robert Ort Sales Associate Chatham Office 64 Main Street Chatham, NJ 07928 Office: 973-635-5000 Cell: 973-476-5505 (Best Contact #) E-mail: chathambobort@aol.com “As a full time real estate professional, I take great pride in the level of service I provide to my clients. I work with them every step of the way toward a successful conclusion of the buying or selling process.” * Specializing in the communities and surrounding towns served by New Jersey Transit's "Mid-town Direct" train line. * Multi-Million Dollar Producer. * Skilled negotiator, good listener, and patient.

R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y Bound Brook Presbyterian Church; 409 Mountain Ave, Bound Brook, NJ 08805; 732-356-3575; www.bbpc.org; People of all sexual orientations will find a safe and affirming place here. Services Sat. at 5pm and Sun. at 9 & 11am. Father’s Day through Labor Day—one Sun. service at 9:30am. Central Unitarian Church of Bergen County; 156 Forest Ave, Paramus, NJ 07652; 201-262-6300; Fax: 201-262-6369; www.cucparamus.org; We are a church without creed or dogma. Our faith emphasizes personal religious integrity, moral commitment, and a free and responsible search for truth and meaning. We welcome all people of good faith and, as a Welcoming Congregation, make a special effort to be inclusive of GLBTI people. Sunday services are at 10:30am.

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R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y Christ Episcopal Church; 393 Washington Ave, Belleville, NJ 07109; 973751-0616; www.christchurchbelleville.org; An inclusive church, making a difference in the community! Services in English and Spanish, see website for schedule. Christ Episcopal Church; 74 Park Ave, Glen Ridge, NJ 07028; 973-743-5911; Fax: 973-743-0216; ccinbgnj@verizon.net; www.christchurchepiscopal.org; Christ Church is a diverse, inclusive Episcopal parish in the Diocese of Newark. We welcome all of God’s people with open arms. Our building is wheelchairaccessible. GLBTI group meets the second Saturday, 6:30pm for a folk mass followed by a discussion group over dinner, plus a variety of different events: movies, theater shows. Church of the Redeemer; 36 South St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-539-0703; redeemer11@verizon.net; www.redeemermorristown.org; A Christian Liberation Community in the Episcopal Tradition. We Are One Family. Dignity Metropolitan New Jersey; c/o St George’s Episcopal Church, 550 Ridgewood Rd, Maplewood, NJ 07040; 973-857-4040; dignitymetronj@msn.com; Support group for Northern NJ GLBT Catholics. Services 1st and 3rd Sundays at 4pm. Dignity New Brunswick; PO Box 10781, New Brunswick, NJ 08906; 732968-9263; dignitynb@earthlink.net; www.home.earthlink.net/~dignitynb; For GLBT Catholics and friends, we meet at the New Brunswick Quaker Meeting House twice monthly for liturgies and social events. Emanuel Evangelical Lutheran Church; New & Kirkpatrick Streets, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; 732-545-2673; Fax: 732-545-0356; emanuelnb@worldnet.att.net; www.emanuelnb.org; Emanuel is a warm, friendly, gay welcoming church. Regular services are Sunday mornings at 10:30, summer services (June-August) are at 9:30. Large gay/lesbian membership. The pastor is Jeffrey Eaton.

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R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y First Presbyterian & Trinity Church; 111 Irvington Ave, South Orange, NJ 07079; 973-762-7879; http://members.bellatlantic.net/~ftrinity; Sunday worship 10:30am. A More Light Church, welcoming GLBTI people. First Presbyterian, Passaic; 112 Washington Pl, Passaic, NJ 07055; 973-6506761; info@passaicpresbyterian.org; www.passaicpresbyterian.org; See ad on page 118. Liberation in Truth Unity Fellowship Church; 608 Broad St at Trinity & St. Philips Cathedral, Newark, NJ 07102; and 47 & 49 New St and 11 Halsey St; 973424-9555; JanyceLJ@aol.com; www.litufc.org; LITUFC is a member of the Unity Fellowship Movement. Our Social Justice Ministry proclaims the sacredness of all life and focuses on empowering those who have been oppressed. We believe that God’s Love is for Everyone regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation. Founded in 1995 to provide a safe and spiritual worship space for the GLBTI Community. Service held Sundays at 608 Broad St, Newark, NJ, 1:30pm. Metropolitan Community Church of Christ the Liberator; PO Box 7422, North Brunswick, NJ 08902; 732-846-8227; info@mccctl.com; www.mccctl.com; MCC-CTL—Helping All People Believe that God Believes in Them! Morristown Unitarian Fellowship; 21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-540-1177; amiller@muuf.org; www.muuf.org; Unitarian Universalism has a long-standing commitment to the full inclusion and affirmation of all persons, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. See ad below.

MUF is a Welcoming Congregation You are welcome to join us: Regular Sunday services are at 9:00 am and at 11:00 am. During the Summer and on “special” Sundays, we have only one 10:00 am Service. 21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960 Partially wheelchair accessible www.muuf.org 973-540-1177

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R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y * New Jersey’s Lesbian and Gay Havurah; PO Box 2576, Edison, NJ 088182576; 732-650-1010; info@njhav.org; www.njhav.org; A circle of friends celebrating our Jewish heritage. NJLGH is a state-wide organization serving the needs of the GLBTI Jewish community since 1991 by providing social, religious, cultural, and education activities every month. See ad below. The OASIS in the Episcopal Diocese of New Jersey; 732-591-9210 (Trinity Church, Matawan); 973-783-9533 (St. John’s Church, Elizabeth); oasisnj@comcast.net; http://oasisnj.home.comcast.net; Ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of New Jersey with gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, intersexed, and straight people. The OASIS in the Episcopal Diocese of Newark; 31 Mulberry St, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-430-9909; chair@oasisnewark.org; www.theoasis.dioceseofnewark.org; Ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of Newark with gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and straight people. Skylands Unitarian Universalist Fellowship; 1811 Route 57, Hackettstown, NJ 07840; 908-684-4040; www.skylandsuu.org; We celebrate the inherent worth and dignity of every person and welcome GLBTI people into all aspects of congregational life. Sunday service, 10:15 to 11:30am. For more information, contact Joyce Morrissey at 908-875-8839. Temple Beth Ahm Yisrael; 60 Temple Drive, Springfield, NJ 07081; 973376-0539; Fax: 973-376-5478; execdirector@templebethahmyisrael.com; www.templebethahmyisrael.com; A Conservative Egalitarian synagogue in Union County. We are an inclusive congregation, welcoming the broader community of mature couples, singles, “traditional” Jewish families, interfaith families, and gay, lesbian, and transgendered Jews. We are dedicated to enriching the lives of our congregational family by providing an inviting environment for spiritual, educational, and social interaction and growth. Our Jewish Gay and Lesbian Education and Outreach Committee sponsors meetings and events throughout the year.

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R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y Unitarian Church in Summit; 4 Waldron Ave, Summit, NJ 07901; 908273-3245; Fax: 908-273-5190; uucs@ucsummit.org; www.ucsummit.org; Like other Unitarian-Universalist congregations, we embrace a set of guiding principles but do not have a creed, or fixed set of beliefs, that members are expected to adopt. We are a Welcoming Congregation. Unitarian Society of Ridgewood; 113 Cottage Pl, Ridgewood, NJ 07450; 201-444-6225; Fax: 201-444-9818; usr.minister@verizon.net; www.uuridgewood.org; A place where you will find inspiration in the richness of diverse beliefs and the power of community. Services during the school year are held at 9:15 and 11:00. Summer services are held at 10:00. We welcome and affirm GLBTQ people. We have a “Living the Welcoming Committee GLBTI.” Join us! Unitarian Universalist Church at Washington Crossing; 268 Washington Crossing-Pennington Rd, Titusville, NJ 08560; 609-737-0515; uucwc@uucwc.org; www.uucwc.org; Unanimously affirms the right of same gender couples to be married. Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Somerset Hills; Office: 45 North Gaston Ave, Suite 1D, Somerville, NJ 08876; 908-927-0601; Fax: 908-927-0604; uucsh@uucsh.org; www.uucsh.org; Sunday Services: 10:00am. See our website or call the office for service location. We welcome all, regardless of race, creed, or sexual orientation. See ad on page 115.

If it were safe… What would you say to God? A Safe Place…

First Presbyterian Church, Passaic 112 Washington Place, Passaic, NJ 07055 973-473-4107 www.passaicpresbyterian.org

Please join us: 11:00am Sunday Worship North Jersey Neighbors (GLBT Social Group) 3:00-6:00pm Second Sundays

Offering union services, music, baptisms, food programs, Bible study, prayer, community service opportunities

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R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y Unitarian Universalist Ocean County Congregation; PO Box 5184, Toms River, NJ 08754; 732-244-3455; uuocc_nj@yahoo.com; www.uuocc.org; A Welcoming Congregation. Services are on Sundays at 2:00pm at UCC of Toms River, 1681 Ridgeway Rd, (Route 571). See www.tomsriverucc.org for directions. United Church of Christ of Toms River; 1681 Ridgeway Rd. (Route 571), Toms River, NJ 08757; 732-244-4014; Pastor_Linda@tomsriverucc.org; www.tomsriverucc.org; No matter who you are or where you are on life’s journey, you are welcome here. Regular Services are Sundays at 11am. Call for wheelchair access information.

RETAIL

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OTHER BUSINESSES

Braunschweiger Jewelers; 33 South St, Morristown, NJ 07960; and New Providence & Warren, NJ; 973-538-2189; www.braunschweiger.com; Providing jewelry, watches, and gifts for all of life’s special occasions for nearly 50 years in Morristown. See ad inside back cover. Daily Plan It; 150-152 Speedwell Ave, Morristown, NJ 07960; and 707 Alexander Rd, Suite 208, Princeton, NJ 08540; 973-971-0082 and 609-5149494; www.dailyplanit.org; Providing great solutions for your business.

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DJG Associates; 18 Passaic Ave, Unit 6, Fairfield, NJ 07004; 973-276-7901; Fax: 973-276-7902; www.djgonline.com; Proud printer of GAAMC’s Pride Guide for the sixth year! See ad on page 120. Drama Bad; 1323 Fourth Ave, Asbury Park, NJ 07712; 732-502-9198; DramaBad@optonline.net; www.DramaBad.com; Organic products with a message: T-shirts, mugs, bumper stickers. See ad below. Daniel Herzog; PO Box 545, Vauxhall, NJ 07088; Postcard dealer, buyer, and seller. Any NJ or PA checks written to me for material will be subject to that state’s tax, unless a resale purchase. Mister Sparky, Domenick Caserta; 961 Rt 10, Unit #1D, Randolph, NJ 07869; 973-895-5342; Fax: 973-895-5357; service@MisterSparkyRNJ.com; www.MisterSparkyRNJ.com; We’re on time, you’ll see, or the repair is free! Providing outstanding residential and commercial electrical service. See ad on page 119.

SOCIAL SERVICES Epiphany House of Asbury Park; 1110 Grand Ave, Asbury Park, NJ 07712; 732-775-0720; maria@epiphanyhouse.org; www.epiphanyhouse.org; Epiphany House is committed to promoting recovery for chemically dependent women with children who are homeless or at risk of homelessness. We provides a continuum of health care & social services. Each resident is assisted to become firmly established in sobriety & to define for herself who she is, where & how she will live, & what she will do to create & maintain a self affirming life.

Want to be listed next year? See the Ad Request Form in the Centerfold!

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SOCIAL SERVICES J.B.W.S.; PO Box 1437, Morristown, NJ 07962; Office: 973-267-7520; 24hour Helpline: 973-267-4763; Fax: 973-605-5898; info@jbws.org; www.jbws.org; Based in Morris County, New Jersey, JBWS is a full service agency for addressing intimate partner violence. The services include a 24-hour helpline; counseling; safe house; transitional living; children’s services; life skills education; vocational counseling; batterer’s intervention; legal assistance; teen dating abuse services; and professional training, education, and prevention programs. See ad inside front cover.

S P O R T S /R E C R E A T I O N Central New Jersey Pride Bowlers League (CNJPBL); Bowling at Stelton Lanes, 1665 Stelton Rd, Piscataway, NJ 08854; cnjpbl@yahoo.com; www.cnjpbl.com; Fabulous fun times Tuesday nights at 9:15pm. Season runs from September to the end of April. Please see our website for summer socials. East Coast Women’s Baseball League; 629 Campgaw Rd, Mahwah, NJ 07430; 201-825-1534; ajadler03@hotmail.com; www.scorebook.com/womensbaseball; A baseball league for women and girls of all ages and skill levels. Players hail from NJ, NY, CT, and PA. Garden State Gay Bowling Organization (GSGBO); info@GSGBO.com; www.gsgbo.com; A fun social, mixed bowling league open to all bowlers, regardless of sex, race, religion or sexual orientation, meeting at Nationwide Hudson Lanes (1 Garfield Ave, Jersey City, NJ) Tuesday nights at 9pm. Season runs from September to May. Just Cruising Womyn’s Motorcycle Club; JustCruising143@aol.com; www.hometown.aol.com/dschnorbus/JustCruising.html; We ride almost every weekend weather permitting. Why don’t you join us for a casual ride through the beautiful NJ countryside? Metro Wrestling Club; PO Box 1913, Radio City Station, NY, NY; Gay Community Center, 208 W 13th St, New York, NY 10011; 917-547-2656; mgwa@metrowrestling.org; www.Metrowrestling.org; The only adult freestyle wrestling club in New York City, we have practice on Saturdays 5-7pm at Fighthouse 122 West 27th St. 2nd Floor, Manhattan. 917-547-2656, $12 Admission. Practice Sunday afternoons 2-5pm, at The LGBT Community Center, 208 West 13th St. $10 Admission. Beginners’ practice every first Sunday of the month 2-5pm, at The GLBT Community Center, 208 W. 13th St, Room 412. Metro Wrestling teaches an introductory class in freestyle wrestling for beginners on the first Sunday of every month. Please bring gym shorts, a T-shirt, and sneakers to the practice.

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S P O R T S /R E C R E A T I O N Nature Center of Cape May—New Jersey Audubon Society; 1600 Delaware Ave, Cape May, NJ 08204; 609-898-8848; Fax: 609-898-8512; nccm@njaudubon.org; www.njaudubon.org/centers/nccm; Founded in 1992, with the twin goals of creating a responsible stewardship program for open space surrounding Cape May Harbor and providing environmental education for all. New Jersey Eagles Motorcycle Club; Asbury Park, NJ 07712; dave@njeagles.com; www.njeagles.com; New Jersey’s largest and oldest gay men’s motorcycle club. The Eagles MC focuses exclusively on riding, and the bonds and brotherhood that riding together brings. We serve the entire tri-state area, with members primarily from New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania. North Jersey Gay and Lesbian Bowlers (NJGLB); 66 Bergen Blvd, West Paterson, NJ 07424; 973-256-5936; 201-247-2427; Fax: 732-325-7920; www.njglb.org; A Rock ’n’ Bowl league meeting on Tuesday nights at 9:10pm (September to May) at Brunswick Olympic Bowl, 679 Washington Ave, Belleville. Outbike NJ; OutbikeNJ@yahoo.com; www.outbikenewjersey.org; GLBT Bicycle club located in Northern NJ. Beginner to advanced. Road and off-road rides. Queen City Rollers Mixed Bowling League; qcrollers@aol.com; hometown.aol.com/qcrollers; rachelrak1@aol.com; A fun, social bowling league for the GLBT Community and all their friends. Seasons run from September to May, and the league meets Mondays at 8pm at Strike ’N’ Spare Lanes, 380 Route 22 in Green Brook, NJ. TEAMNJ; New Jersey’s GLBTI Sports and Recreational Organization; 908-234-1481; www.teamnj.org; www.groups.yahoo.com/group/TEAMNJ/; We give New Jersey’s athletes and recreationalists an organization that promotes a stronger community through various activities. TEAMNJ is a resource for athletes, spectators, and other sports organizations and makes all the preparations for NJ’s athletes attending the Gay Games.

SURROGACY Melissa B. Brisman, Esq, LLC; 77 Market St, Park Ridge, NJ 07656; 201505-0078; info@reproductivelawyer.com; www.reproductivelawyer.com; Surrogacy Specialists and Reproductive Law Experts. Let us help you build your family! See article on page 50 and ad on page 124.

Want to be a GAAMC Member? The Membership Form is in the Centerfold!

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SURROGACY Reproductive Law & Surrogacy Services    

Our experienced staff will help you:

Select a Gestational Carrier from our large database Coordinate your arrangement including medical and psychological screening Draft and finalize Gestational Carrier, Ovum Donor, Sperm Donor, and Embryo Donor Contracts Complete Co-Parent or Step-Parent Adoptions and Pre-Birth Orders Melissa B. Brisman, Esq., LLC 77 Market Street, Second Floor Park Ridge, NJ 201-505-0078 info@reproductivelawyer.com www.reproductivelawyer.com * Member of the New Jersey, New York, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania Bar

ORGANIZATIONS

GABLES PO Box 641, Cape May C.H., NJ 08210

An l/g/b/t/q social & outreach organization. gables00@email.com 609-861-1848 www.gablescapemay.com

Serving Atlantic, Cape May, Cumberland, and Salem Counties Monthly Meeting: 3rd Monday, 7pm, Church of the Advent, Cape May

Publisher of the

New Jersey Southern Shores Rainbow Directory New Jersey’s Largest Gay Tourism Publication Winner: New Jersey Governor’s Award for Excellence in Tourism

International Program:

Gay Straight Alliance Network International www.GSANI.com Uniting Youth Around the World

GABLES—The Gay group doing good things for the entire community.

YOUTH * African American Office of Gay Concerns; 877 Broad St, Suite 211, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-639-0700; Fax: 973-639-9722; Brother@aaogc.org, www.aaogc.org; The AAOGC serves as a resource for the GLBTI Community, focusing on HIV prevention, particularly for young men of color, as well as transgendered and questioning youth. Located in downtown Newark, all people are welcome, regardless of race or gender affiliation.

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YOUTH GLBT National Youth Talkline; a program of the GLBT National Help Center; 2261 Market St, PMB #296, San Francisco, CA 94114; 800-246-PRIDE (800-246-7743); Youth@GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org, www.YouthTalkline.org; Offers free and confidential peer-counseling and local information for callers ages 25 and younger. GSANI—Gay-Straight Alliance Network International; (An initiative of GABLES); www.gsani.org; A web based initiative to unite GLBT youth around the world: for youth by youth. Network GSA’s, youth groups, and individuals around the world—creating a dynamic, productive, and concerned network of GLBT youth. See ad on page 124. HiTops Inc: Health Interested Teens’ Own Program on Sexuality; 21 Wiggins St, Princeton, NJ 08540; 609-683-5155 x217; Fax: 609-683-9507; corrine@hitops.org, www.hitops.org; Comprehensive community services for GLBTQ youth. League Foundation; One AT&T Way, Rm 4B214J, Bedminster, NJ 07921; 703-691-5734; info@leaguefoundation.org, www.leaguefoundation.org; Established in 1996, the organization has grown into a national scholarship fund reaching all 50 states with support from corporations, individuals, and other GLBT organizations. The Pride Connections Center of New Jersey; (operated by Hudson Pride Connections); 32 Jones St, Jersey City, NJ 07306-3103; 201-963-4779; Fax: 201-963-7983; HPC@prideconnections.org, www.PrideConnections.org; A community center serving the entire Northern NJ region with outreach, education and training, links to services, advocacy, support for the GLBT and questioning communities and all people living with HIV positive individuals, and ongoing community events. Features support groups & services for the GLBT community and all people living with HIV. YouthConnect—a Safe Space for GLBTQ teens to speak weekly—with locations in Hudson and Essex counties and more locations coming soon. Trevor Project; 9056 Santa Monica Blvd, Suite 208, West Hollywood, CA 90069; 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386); info@thetrevorproject.org, www.thetrevorproject.org; Round-the-clock national toll-free suicide hotline for gay and questioning youth. Youth Drop-In; PCNJ, 321 Raritan Ave, Second Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904; 732-846-2232; info@pridecenter.org; www.pridecenter.org; This is a safe, friendly, fun, caring, social space open to GLBTIQQ youth and their allies for youth 17 and under. Meets at PCNJ on the 2nd and 4th Saturdays from 1-4pm.

Want to be listed next year? See the Ad Request Form in the Centerfold!

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PRIDE GUIDE PERSONALS Hey there! I am an attractive woman looking for a lover and a friend. I am the 2009 NJ Watermelon Seed Spitting Champion. I play tennis, soccer, rugby, and the cello. I love swimming and prime numbers. I take my boat out on weekends and like to just hang out.

Versatile and Vibrant 37 y.o. Wants to Meet You; Conceived by four parents in 1972, I’ve always been a rare breed. I am looking to make new friends in Central and Northern NJ, and hopefully a long-term relationship. I am very social and enjoy partying (I host an average of a party a month). But, I also love to cuddle in front of the fireplace or dim the lights and watch a great flick. Live theater is another passion. I never miss The Shakespeare Theater of NJ, or the $1.98 Beauty Pageant. More than just an empty-headed sex machine, I also enjoy a good read. My favorites are Challenge and Pride Guide. If you want to meet me, and I hope you do, look me up at my usual haunt (it’s a Safe Space to hang out and meet new people). I am at MUF every Monday evening from about 7:00 until 9:30. Directions can be found at www.gaamc.org. Feminine gal looking for semi-permanent relationship. I am 34, caring, and romantic. Just a simple gal who enjoys simple things in life, like going to GAAMC’s film festivals and cuddle parties. I am a strong healthy male in the medical profession who likes to have fun riding bikes, going to the beach, making dinner for friends, traveling, working out, laughing, and watching movies. I am a hard working man who isn’t afraid to ask for what he needs and isn’t afraid to go after what he wants. I live alone by the beach and enjoy kissing with the right guy for starters. Looking for someone of similar profile but not exact. A great looking guy who takes care of himself, likes making his partner happy and is open to sharing ideas, love, life, family, friends, and dogs. I am 53 but look and feel much, much younger. Love watching movies and eating popcorn. Do You Like to Get Your Hands Dirty? Wouldn’t you like to plunge in and grab a fistful of life? Then you should go back and reread Versatile and Vibrant. We weren’t kidding. Drop in and ask how you can get intimate with a group of dedicated individuals making a difference and having fun “doing it.” E-mail us at info@gaamc.org.

$1.98 Beauty Pageant Monday, September 21, 2009 at 8pm Join us at GAAMC for a fun evening of great performances by local talent to rival those of American Idol. All are welcome to attend and participate in