November 2021
the magazine of finchley progressive synagogue
Acts of Kindness
Acts of Kindness
Clockwise, from top left: KT-ers making challah; Margot & Beverley with Shavuot gifts for FPS members; Dora collecting foodbank donations; just some of the beautiful notes we get from members when they receive thoughtful gifts from the Care Team; thank you letter to the NHS; a gift bag for NHS workers made on Mitzvah Day
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From the Rabbi
rabbi rebecca birk
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hen I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.’ So wrote Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, a thinker I admire greatly. As I grow older, I agree with him. Acts and attitudes of kindness are what lingers after everything. My life is littered by gemilut chasadim, kind acts I have received, thoughtful and generous deeds that have exponentially helped and improved my life. I wonder whether that is a cornerstone of our community, full of members who want to be kind to each other and beyond. I’ve watched over these ten years, the phone calls to the isolated and bereaved, the invitations and offers of lifts, the challah baking and deliveries and, more recently, the care packages given to members to mark different festivals. We want FPS to be known for this. Shimon the Righteous was one of the last men of the great assembly. He used to say, quoted in Mishnah Avot 1:2, “The world stands upon three things: the Torah (learning), worship (once the Temple service and then synagogue prayer and service) and the practice of loving deeds”. I really do see these three pillars as holding up our congregation. I always try to hold them in mind. And I know that without the last one, the warmth and relationships within our congregation would be diminished. It’s empathy, understanding and acts of kindness I want our children to learn as being the backbone of their Jewish tradition, alongside the other two. I recall one moment with the late and beloved Morris Needleman. Morris attended every Friday evening service after his parents died, only missing if unwell or on his annual holiday. We were a home for him where everyone was kind. One couple, prospective
members Peggy and Alison, were visiting and told me later that it was the way Morris was loved and looked after that drew them into our synagogue membership (Peggy also recalls this in her article on page 5). I hope that appreciation of kindness is still here and obvious. This morning I listened to Desert Island Discs chosen by Baroness Patricia Scotland, former Attorney General for England and Wales, the first woman and BAME person to hold this office. Now sixth Secretary-General of the Commonwealth of Nations, she remarked she was never praised for her academic and extraordinary career achievements. Those, her parents said, were simply using her gifts. But her acts of kindness were always remarked upon and encouraged. They, Baroness Scotland recalled, were what mattered. And so they matter here.
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From Zoe This
month’s theme is acts of kindness. A story I’ve shared fairly widely is when I first moved from Scotland back down south, I was new to London, overwhelmed and lonely. One Shabbat morning, I came to FPS, a community I didn’t know at all. I surprised myself by weeping throughout the service. The surprise was that I felt comfortable enough to cry in this new environment. No-one was sitting either side of me. But seeing my tears, someone moved to sit next to me. Without making eye contact, or saying a word, she took my hand. This gesture said so clearly, “I’m here”. It said, “You just keep crying. It looks like you need it. But you’re not alone.” Years earlier, aged 15, I went to Zambia on a World Challenge trip which was horrible. For a month I was miserable, exhausted and bullied by others in a way only teenage girls know how. As a quiet child, the Harry Potter books were brilliant companions, the publication of each an occasion to be relished and enjoyed. The seventh and final novel had been published while I was in Zambia and, as the trip came to an end, I concocted a plan to save up my remaining travel money and buy a copy at Johannesburg Airport, getting my hands on it as soon as I possibly could. A fellow passenger in the check-in queue asked why I looked so excited and I told her
Shofar Cover: Rabbi Rebecca with Raphy, Isaac and Jonah
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zoe jacobs
of my plan, whereupon she handed me her copy saying, “Have it. It’s a long flight. If you finish it, you can give it back to me. If not, it’s yours”. One of the other girls, the one who had led the bullying, snatched the book, turned to the last page and read aloud “all was well”: the last words of the novel. She said “Now you don’t have to read it!”. Momentarily stunned, I looked from the girl who had been so cruel to the retreating back of the stranger who had offered such kindness. I always wonder whether those women, both at FPS and Johannesburg Airport, remember the incidents and whether their spontaneous kindnesses made any mark on them in the way they did for me. Is a community a group of people who continually offer acts of kindness? Or a group of people who expect a higher moral standing from one another than from the wider world? In my work at FPS I see evidence of this and consider myself lucky to witness you offering your help, your time and your kindness throughout the year. At FPS are we all these two women? We should, I think, aim to be – because, unlike being a superhero, a nuclear scientist, or an Olympian, it costs us nothing to be kind and truly we can all do it. P.S. Your next chance to join the list of wonderful people is at Mitzvah Day (Saturday 20 November) where we’ll be gathering donations for Food Bank Aid, and visiting their new premises. Copy deadline is the 10th of each month. Please email all content to shofar@fps.org
FPS Acts of Kindness When we joined FPS about 7 years ago, I had no idea that we would become quite so involved in witnessing such acts of kindness from within the FPS community! As I’ve written in Shofar before, our path to FPS started the Friday night my beloved mother passed away. I wanted to say Kaddish and we came to FPS. We were so touched at the amazing acts of kindness shown that night, and always, to beloved member Maurice Needleman that we knew instantly FPS was the community for us. Fast forward a couple of years and we heard about the FPS Night Shelter. Opening a synagogue for 17 homeless folk to sleep, providing a hot evening meal and cooked breakfast before schlepping their sleeping gear on to the next venue? We were amazed and delighted. Before long we were involved and before too much longer I found myself doing the rota for volunteers who were cooking, sleeping over and schlepping! The kindness of FPS members in preparing amazing meals, sleeping on a hard floor to ensure the guests were safe and others getting up at early o’clock to make them a delicious breakfast was
peggy sherwood mbe
incredible. I had never seen anything like it in the synagogue I went to as a child. Perhaps if I had I wouldn’t have spent quite so many years in the wilderness! And then there was the Food Bank! We heard about Finchley Food Bank, approached Rabbi Rebecca to ask if FPS could be a drop-off point for members to deliver items for the Food Bank and were rewarded with a resounding ‘YES’. At the beginning of the pandemic, with Finchley Food Bank’s blessing, we changed to supporting Food Bank Aid which supports 18 Food Banks across North London, including Finchley Food Bank. FPS members have done street collections, given to two High Holy Day Appeals and generously brought food to the synagogue to be transported on to Food Bank Aid who in turn ensure it ends up at Food Banks. Did you know there are now more Food Banks in the UK than McDonalds? Well, nor did I and FPS members’ acts of kindness help to ensure that they are able to help people in need. Please keep doing your acts of kindness FPSers – it really is appreciated.
Left: the totals of our High Holy Day Appeals have come in. We’re proud and delighted to have raised this money for such impactful charities. Right: Challah made by KT
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Beit Tefillah
services at fps
Join us either at FPS or via Zoom, Facebook or FPS YouTube channel
services – june / sivan leading into tamuz
services- november / cheshvan-kislev Friday 5 November
6.30pm Kabbalat Shabbat Service linking to Eco Shabbat with other LJ communities.
Saturday 6 November
11.00am Shabbat B’Yachad Service
Friday 12 November
6.30pm Kabbalat Shabbat Service on Jewish Womens’ Aid Shabbat
Saturday 13 November
11.00am Shabbat Service celebrating the Bar Mitzvah of Aaron Pennisi-Glaser
Friday 19 November
6.30pm Shabbat Resouled
Saturday 20 November
11.00am Shabbat Service - Ajex Shabbat
Friday 26 November
6.30pm Kabbalat Shabbat Service
Saturday 27 November
11.00am Shabbat Service
join the 50/50 it’s a win-win!
There’s no actual guarantee that you’ll win, but your synagogue definitely will, and you’ll get ten chances to win too. £20 gets you one place in the club from November 2021 to August 2022. Half is a donation to FPS and the other half goes into the prize pool, hence 50/50. Each month from November to August there will be a draw and three people will win a share of the pot. Purchasing more than one place doubles your chances of winning! For a chance to win and to help your community, please contact FPS office and Pauline will ensure you are signed up without delay. You can pay by cash, cheque or bank transfer into our dedicated 50/50 bank account.
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Beit Knesset
community events, all welcome!
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Beit Midrash
people welcome to new members
Nicola Kurtz with Nina & Samuel Amanda & Rupert D’Oyly with Saskia & Theo mazal tov to
The Glaser family celebrating Aaron’s Bar Mitzvah; Margot & Aaron Katz on the Bar Mitzvah of their grandson Yoni Katz, son of Adam & Orly ; Manon Ouimet on her Belfast exhibition - we look forward to hosting it at FPS; Lisa Barry & Alan Melcher celebrating their marriage at FPS; Maeve Silver in her first term at Swansea University studying History condolences to
Jane Mellins on the death of her mother Sylvia Mendoza & David Leibowitz on the death of his mother Doris Leibowitz
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coming up at fps
stone setting
The stone setting for Alan Freeman will be officiated by Rabbi Rebecca Birk at Edgwarebury Cemetery at 10.15am on Sunday 7 November happy birthday
to the following members who celebrate milestone birthdays in November: Alexandra Gellnick, Brian Landes, Dalia Lyons, Carmen Menegazzi, Samantha Paterson, Phillip Raphael, Margot Katz, Berthe Manning, Lesley Willner thank you
Darren Beach, stepping down from the Shofar team. We thank him for his ideas, his creativity and his articles, always so interesting. A note about Family Announcements. Please let the office know when you have good news to share, grandchildren born, joy to mark. We want to capture them all, so help us not to miss your life cycle moments. pauline@fps.org
Reducing Food Waste Vast amounts of food are wasted every year. Reasons for reducing food waste include: • Food waste going to landfill breaks down to produce greenhouse gas. • Water and energy used to grow the food has gone to waste • Cost of food waste to the individual Here are some tips for reducing waste I have picked up along the way: • Buy less, but more often • Buy loose fruit and vegetables, as you are more likely to buy the amount you need and don’t just buy perfect looking produce • Avoid ‘buy one get one free’ offers • Look at what sort of food you are wasting and focus on those items. I always use up tomatoes and cucumbers but often waste aubergines and red peppers. Why? The reason will be different for everyone • Cook and freeze vegetables and fruit • Make soup out of vegetables and freeze the soup • When bananas are past their best and you no longer want to eat them, cut them up into slices and freeze them (they make nice frozen snacks) • Make banana bread out of over-ripe bananas • Use older apples to make apple crumble
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ann andrews
Plan what meals you are going to eat and buy accordingly Ensure you know what is in your fridge before going shopping and keep the fridge clutter free Compost vegetable and fruit waste Use a grocer, such as Tony’s in East Finchley, who provide lots of loose fruit and vegetables. They don’t have any waste themselves, as they know how much to buy and, if there is any excess, it goes to staff or to a local Food Bank Get vegetable boxes delivered, so you’re getting what there is a surplus of, reducing central fruit and vegetable waste Use a recipe provider that gives just the ingredients you need such as HelloFresh or Mindful Chef (the downside environmentally is the little plastic packages and freezer packs) Store fruit and vegetables correctly, avoiding putting ethylene-sensitive fruit and vegetables such as broccoli and cauliflowers near ethylene-producing ones such as apples and bananas.
I will try some of these and more and report back! Please share your own tips by emailing me at fps30@annandrews.com
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FPS As a Caring Community a very personal view...
The pandemic changed everything. Personal circumstances had led me into a 10 year wilderness in my journey as a Jew. Already isolated spiritually, lockdown meant social isolation too. Work as an NHS pathologist became the entire focus as we geared up to fight the unknown and unpredictable ravages that Covid 19 was to bring. But as Rosh Hashanah 2020 approached, and especially with the stress and anxiety of things, it became increasingly hard to ignore my Jewish connection. My friend Adrian Lister mentioned that it was possible to join services remotely via Zoom and kindly shared the login details. The result was a total joy! The ability to join, and even participate, in a synagogue service. The innovative approach, led by Rabbi Rebecca, was a revelation! Those High Holiday services were warm, enjoyable and moving. Almost immediately, there was something to look forward to and I found myself eagerly anticipating the next service, and the one after that. The music was beautiful. The sense of a warm, caring community was something I could not experience in the daily world. It wasn’t just
fps members
the services. Café Ivriah discussions and other meetings during the week provided a welcome and much-needed break from the unfolding epidemic. These too provided a sense of warmth and friendship; discussions were stimulating and thought-provoking. The interest shown by FPS towards the outside community was quite amazing and demonstrated how it views itself as playing a part in and contributing to the wellbeing of the outside world. By the time we reached Chanukah, I was hooked. A decision to join the FPS community formally was met with encouragement, warmth and friendship. Rabbi Rebecca’s explanations have guided my appreciation of the true meaning of services and their prayers and have also underlined the significance of Torah. Friday evening with Kabbalat Shabbat has become a highlight of the week and Shabbat itself is now a special day. Now that there has been an opportunity to come into the Synagogue, it’s been lovely to meet people in person and to start to feel a real part of things. FPS is definitely not just a building. Paul Richman
challah travels well
I had been a member of FPS for just a few months when I was discharged from hospital following a hip replacement operation. A ring at the doorbell. Who would be calling at such an hour? No Amazon delivery due. I manage to get to the intercom: ‘Hello’ I say. I see that there are two ladies at the front door to the block. ‘We have something for you from FPS’. Well, I thought, what on earth is this about? So, in they came, and on arrival at our front 12
door they presented me with a challah made by the FPS Kabbalat Torah Group with a note for my speedy recovery. I could not contain my surprise at such a kind gesture. These ladies had travelled all the way from East Finchley up to Cockfosters to make the delivery. I was blown away. But over two years later I have come to realise that kindness and thoughtfulness is a part of FPS’s DNA. You are never alone at FPS. Gordon Greenfield
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nottingham trip
We took our second year Kabbalat Torah class to Nottingham (not quite the Amsterdam visit we promised, but hopefully this is just postponed until the spring) as part of the Harry Jacobi Memorial Project. From the train journey up, activities and a sleepover in Nottingham Liberal Synagogue, to the visit to Beth Shalom Holocaust Museum and finally a quick visit to Go Ape, we had a very busy, very thoughtful, 24 hours! Although the social highlight might have been the joy of Go Ape, the group were incredibly impacted by the opportunity to meet a survivor of the Holocaust, Janine Webber. Hear from our KT students themselves: What was the best bit? – Spending time with everyone and having a lot of laughs – Meeting the survivor and being with friends What could we have changed? – Nothing (I promise I didn’t pay them to say that!) One student summed it up: I had so much fun, it was the perfect weekend.
Clockwise from top: the KT group at Nottingham Liberal Synagogue; with new friends from Nottingham at Go Ape; exploring what we can learn from diaries written during the Holocaust
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aaron pennisi-glaser bar mitzvah
I’m Aaron and my bar mitzvah will be on 13th November. Thanks to the pandemic it’s third time lucky as it was postponed from January and then May! It’s the first bar mitzvah in my mum’s immediate family for several generations and the first one in my dad’s family ‘full stop’ as he was born and raised a Catholic. So I’m feeling the pressure, but luckily, I have the fantastic John to guide me all the way and I know he’ll get me there! My mum makes me practise my
parasha and the prayers I’ll be saying almost every evening. My parasha is Bechukotai which means ‘my laws’. I love reading Manga which are Japanese graphic novels and me and my friends at JCoSS are really into them.
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Contacts
fps website: www.fps.org
finchley progressive synagogue
President: Paul Silver-Myer, paulsm@fps.org
54 Hutton Grove N12 8DR 020 8446 4063 www.fps.org facebook.com/finchleyprog
Life Presidents: Sheila King Lassman, Alan Banes Vice Presidents: Cathy Burnstone, Renzo Fantoni, Josie Kinchin, Alex KinchinSmith, Laura Lassman, Lionel King Lassman, John Lewis, Andrea Rappoport, Joan Shopper
Rabbi Rebecca Birk – rabbi@fps.org Emeritus Rabbi: Dr Frank Hellner Community Development Manager: Zoe Jacobs – zoe@fps.org
contacts
Musicians in Residence: Franklyn Gellnick, Dean Staker Synagogue Manager: Pauline Gusack pauline@fps.org Chair: Tamara Joseph, chair@fps.org Vice Chair: Ann Pelham, apelham@fps.org Treasurer: Roy Balint-Kurti, treasurer@fps.org Honorary Secretary: Paula Kinchin-Smith honsec@fps.org Gordon Greenfield, gordon@fps.org Beverley Kafka, beverley@fps.org Sam King, sam@fps.org Mike Rocks, mike@fps.org
Beit Midrash (Adult Education): Adrian Lister adrian@fps.org Beit Tefillah (Rites & Practices): Valerie Joseph valerie@fps.org
executive 2021
board members
Board of Deputies Reps: Janet Tresman, Stanley Volk
Community Support Coordinator: Beverley Kafka, beverley@fps.org Website Editor: Philip Karstadt fpswebsite@fps.org Shofar Team: Deb Hermer, Wika Dorosz and FPS Staff; shofar@fps.org The Finchley Progressive Synagogue is a company limited by guarantee (Company No 9365956) and a registered charity (Charity No 1167285) whose registered office is 54 Hutton Grove, Finchley, London N12 8DR
ashley page insurance brokers Commerce House 2a Litchfield Grove London N3 2TN Tel. 020 8349 5100
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