Go Eazy December/January Edition

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GO EaZy CUBA TE AMO

FREE COPY Photo: Tim Hopwood

PUBLISHED INDEPENDENTLY FOR EZ SHUTTLE

DECEMBER – FEBRUARY 2019 / 2020


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MD letter Dear EZ Shuttle traveller, It’s hard to believe we’re already on the doorstep of the festive season. We launched this magazine more than 14 months ago and yet another year is almost over! The holidays are always a time of reflection and this year is no different. It has been a tumultuous year for our country, and indeed, the travel industry at large. South Africans went out in their droves to vote during our elections in May and one could feel the positive vibes on the streets thereafter as Ramaphoria swept across the nation. This was followed up by several commissions of enquiry into corruption which, while agonising to hear, are a very positive step forward in the fight to root out corruption from our public services. Just last month South Africa’s rugby heroes, led by Siya Kolisi, did us proud and won the Rugby World Cup held in Japan – what a day that was for all of us, and our country at large. The unifying power of sport has certainly proven to be very powerful and let's hope that the effects of this victory will be felt in 2020! We will need it after what can only be described as a tough year for all South African businesses. To all of our customers travelling at this time, we wish you all a wonderful festive season and hope that you enjoy this time with your loved ones as much as we will. We also thank you for supporting our business throughout the year – without you we would not be where we are today.

Heerden Guyck van

Now making transfers easy in SA and across the world 110 Countries | 750 Airports | Proudly South African

Book your next international transfer with us on www.ezshuttle. co.za or call our call centre on 0861 397 488 for great rates across the world.

GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020 3


CONTENTS Cuba 8

The Journey is the Destination 12 We are the Champions 16 Cover photo: Tim Hophood - Cuba

New Years Around the World 20 Lekkerwater - De Hoop 24 Chronicles of a Kook 26

REGULARS Fleet 6

/ News 7

Business & finance 30 Quiz 32 /Events 33 Back seat driver 34

A Message from the Go EaZy Team Here is our latest edition with some interesting articles for you to read while you sit back and relax during your journey with EZ Shuttle. In this edition we look at the photographic story of Cuba by Tim Hopwood. Justin Bonello takes us on a journey. We have a stunning competition - win two nights at Lekkerwater, De Hoop - go enter! Never be afraid to try new things, as Faith tells us and we show you how to celebrate New Years around the world! Enjoy the read, If you’d like to give us feedback, please email kirsten@macpublishing.co.za. We’d love to hear from you!

xx aZy Team The Go E

GO EZ MAG TEAM / PUBLISHER/EDITOR Lorna MacLeod / SUB-EDITOR Cindy Wilson-Trollip / ART DIRECTOR Alice Evans ADMINISTRATION Kirsten MacMillan / CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Tim Hopwood, Justin Bonello, Chris Jordan, Jeannine Orzechowski and Faith Hathorn. EZ SERVICES +27 (0)861 EZ SHUTTLE (397 488) Mac Publishing & Consulting on behalf of EZ Shuttle. For advertising enquiries lorna@macpublishing.co.za / +27 (0)71 208 4272 EZ quotes and bookings reservations@ezshuttle.co.za / www.ezshuttle.co.za / +27 (0)861 EZ SHUTTLE (397 488) Editorial Disclaimer. EZ Shuttle and its appointed agency, Mac Publishing and Consulting, subscribe to a code of responsible journalism. While we endeavour to use reliable sources and to verify information before publication, we provide no warranties for the accuracy or completeness of content contained herein. Copyright laws apply and we reserve all rights. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form without the prior written consent of the publisher, Mac Publishing and Consulting.


GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020 5


FOOTPRINT

MEET THE FLEET

EZ Shuttle now has a wider network than any other ground operator in South Africa, with operational capacity in 10 cities across South Africa. We also don’t subcontract (apart from limited coaching requirements when required). This means that you can expect the same level service when travelling to and from any of the following destinations: • • • • • • •

Gauteng Cape Town Durban Port Elizabeth East London George Nelspruit

• • •

Pietermaritzburg Polokwane Hoedpsruit

At EZ Shuttle we strive to provide you with exactly what you’re looking for and have a wide variety of vehicles in ur fleet to match your requirements. starting with out sedans which are all new or late model Toyota Corolla’s, then to our Multi Purpose Vehicles (MPV’s) with 7, 13 and 22 sear configurations.

FLEET

Our fleet are almost entirely replaced every 20 months, and all tracked in real time and monitored by a 24/7/365 operations team in our contact center.

DRIVERS

Our minimum age for a new driver is 26 and all must have 2 years of professional driving experience. Shift length is also closely monitored to avoid fatigue.

MAINTENANCE

Vehicles are checked daily for compliance to our standards and are always also maintained in line with the manufacturer specifications. In another country/industry first, EZ Shuttle now offers you an international transfer booking service to and from 750 airports in 110 countries globally. The service was launched in March of 2019 with great success so far. These bookings are available on all of our online and traditional booking channels and can also be booked against your corporate account.

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TRAINING

We conduct regular in-house and external training with our drivers.


NEWS LOGO – Version 2.0 EZ Shuttle has recently completed an update on its logos and some of the vehicle branding. You will start noticing these on the roads from early next year when our new fleet arrives. We haven’t done this in more than 13 years of service, and we hope that the fine-tuning, specifically done to bring our brand into the 2020s, will make us even more recognisable, while reflecting our continued commitment to innovation.

THE LAUNCH OF THE NEW EZ DRIVER APP IS IMMINENT, IMPROVING OUR DRIVERS’ SERVICE TO YOU

Bloemfontein closure Sadly, EZ Shuttle no longer offers a shuttle service in Bloemfontein as of 1 December 2019. After two years of positive growth in the area, we were denied the opportunity to renew our permits on the basis that we were not a “local” business. We can only surmise that this decision was politically motivated to protect local, connected interests. We tried our best to fight the decision by the local metro but were unsuccessful.

Driver APP launch The launch of the new EZ driver app is imminent, improving our drivers’ service to you significantly as of 1 January. The app will not only alert us to their exact location, but will also be used to dispatch our jobs, notify you of the driver’s arrival at your location and soon, a lot more. The app represents a significant step forward in our technology, enabling to us to fully automate our dispatch and ride scheduling and boosting our expertise in service delivery to our clients, in the very near future.

We celebrate Phillip's 10 years! Phillip Mashigo, AKA Bra Phill, started working for EZ Shuttle in November 2009 and is celebrating his 10 years of service with the company. Bra Phill is known for always having a huge smile on his face and going the extra mile. It is for this reason that he is requested by name on so many occasions. As a reward for 10 years of loyal service to his clients and his company, Phillip and his wife Nkobi, will be flown from Johannesburg to Durban for a relaxing 3 day break in Umhlanga, all expenses paid. This is our small way of showing our appreciating to you and your wife, so thank you! Should you wish to experience Phillips hospitality, please ask for him by name the next time you make a reservation, I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.

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WE SLOWLY ADJUSTED TO THE PACE OF LIFE. NOBODY SEEMED LIKE THEY WERE IN MUCH OF A HURRY.

Photos and story by Tim Hopwood

CUBA PE based Tim Hopwood has over a 25 year period, accumulated a body of images which form a pungent and perceptive dossier of changing social and physical spaces. Also a songwriter, perhaps this review of Tim’s music by Rian Malan, encapsulates his ethos in both genres. In universal South African lexicon, “Tim Hopwood’s songs stink of veld and kak and jol and swak behaviour leading to babelaaas,” speaks to wherever Tim is in the world with his camera or his guitar.

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I’m not quite sure what I expected to find in Havana. I’d heard it was changing fast, and that I should get there soon. The part of the city known as Old Havana is indeed slowly being renovated, which is probably a good thing. I got the impression that some old buildings could collapse any minute. But one does really still feel that one has stepped back in time. My friend from France and I walked 15 to 20 km a day. We went to parts of the city that tourists clearly never go to, where the tourist currency wasn’t even accepted. We found ourselves drawn to the decay of the structures, especially the brutalist 18 story block of flats on the seafront, that stood on concrete legs whose steel re-enforcing was starting to rust and bulge. How much longer could it possibly stand? The structures built in the 60s have not aged well. We returned again and again to the crumbling stadium, and the adjacent swimming pool. The diving board had collapsed and was hanging by the threads of its steel re-enforcing. We slowly adjusted to the pace of life. Nobody seemed like they were in much of a hurry. The locals tended to leave us alone. Whereas in Cairo everyone is trying to sell you something, in Havana we were only approached once in ten days, by a guy selling cigars. In Old Havana, touts will try to get you to enter their restaurants, from which emanate the sounds of jazz bands doing cover songs from the Buena Vista Social Club, but we ignored those and managed to find, in the adjacent suburbs, little restaurants where the locals themselves eat.

WE FOUND OURSELVES DRAWN TO THE DECAY OF THE STRUCTURES


It’s not hard to get around. There is a tourist bus system that does a huge circular route of the city, and you can buy a day ticket and hop off at any point and hop back on when the next one comes an hour later. We did a whole circuit without getting off, taking notes of instances of whatever examples of monumental architectural decay caught our interest, before we began our 6 day exploration of the parts of the city outside of the tourist area. We tended to get off at stops where no other tourists got off. It is hard not to be overwhelmed by the otherworldliness and decay of Havana. At first, you want to photograph everything. Some people have said that, running through my work of the last 20 years, is the notion of mortality. No place I have ever visited encapsulates Susan Sontag’s words quite like this city: “All photographs are memento mori. To take a photograph is to participate in another person’s (or thing’s) mortality, vulnerability, mutability. Precisely by slicing out this moment and freezing it, all photographs testify to time’s relentless melt GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020 11


The Journey is the Destination The name of Dan Eldon’s book The Journey is the Destination, is for me a definitive title. The book was posthumously compiled by his mother after Eldon was killed by a Mogadishu mob in 1993. Dan was just 22 when his life was brutally ended. He was the youngest ever Reuters photojournalist and travel was his way of connecting to people. I am of the belief that his grieving mother found solace in remembering that he was the sum of all the parts of his life and as a result, the title of the book has always poignantly resonated with me.

It was time for a trip to the supermarket, hopeful to find the fruit of my memory, only to be sorely disappointed.

Too often, we are so caught up in reaching the destination that we forget about the journey; the journey that comprises the sum of our lives with the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s not the departure or destination points on a map that allow you to immerse yourself in the journey, but the places in-between. My father was a master of the journey. One of my earliest travel memories was an expedition to Clanwilliam Dam for a weekend of family R&R. The dam was our destination and the straight route in summer was along the blistering N7 towards Namibia, through the Piekenierskloof pass and into Clanwilliam. This road well-travelled wasn’t my dad’s style. We took the back road from Citrusdal, scampered down the banks of the Olifants River and swam with yellowfish. Forty years later I remember the sunburn, almost drowning and a place where Tolla van der Merwe was the king of the local hotel. The same was true of our first family great trek. My dad thought about buying a banana farm in Natal (now KwaZulu-Natal) and my sister and I were bundled into the canvas covered back of the Landcruiser pickup with sleeping bags and luggage. With Mom and Dad up front, we embarked on the diesel belching trip from Cape Town. It was no surprise to spend a freezing night in Grahamstown sleeping outside his alma mater. We were on a trip down his memory lane, part of his journey. From there, we made our way across the dirty brown Great Kei River reading comic books, carving rings from ivory fruit, trampolining our way through family resorts and eventually reaching Natal, home of the banana boys, a journey that would become a yearly pilgrimage to the Wild Coast. All I remember of the banana farm were rows

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of fruit laden trees steaming in the humidity. Of Durban, even less. I don’t remember the journey back to Cape Town, or arriving back home, sunburnt and exhausted as only a holiday can make you. But I do remember eating a sun ripened banana straight from one of those trees. That memory and the experience of the bananas I eat now, are at odds. The banana of my memory is soft, ripe and full of sugars. The ones I eat now are green. Not in appearance, but in taste and texture. Green. It was time for a trip to the supermarket, hopeful of finding the fruit of my memory, only to be sorely disappointed. And so the decision to find out why. The idiom ‘one bad apple spoils the barrel’ is based upon the effect of one apple ripening (or rotting) and emitting ethylene which accelerates the ripening and senescence (process of deterioration with age) of the apples stored with it. And the modern food industry has taken their cue from this. Strategies have been put in place to minimise exposure of a fruit to external sources of ethylene. Treatments for managing the internal ethylene concentration of a fruit are the key to the optimisation of the storage life and eating quality of many of the fruits we eat. Green for longer. There’s a whole bunch of stuff on the web about fruit being ‘gassed,’ and implying that the fruit has been rendered unnatural. One quote says, “the commercial use of ethylene for fruit ripening is at a low concentration and simply initiates the respiratory climacteric. … the ethylene used commercially has the same molecular structure. … by the time the ethylene-treated fruit reaches the consumer the climacteric may have started.” And so on, and on… It’s hard to make head or tail of what it all means and what’s true or not. I do know that on my then child’s and now cook’s tongue, the banana is not ripe, and I surmise it must be inferior. So again I go to Google: Is food less nutritious than it used to be? Turns out someone’s written


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a piece. And there’s lots of he said she said, and scientists with different opinions - fruit and vegetables are being gradually stripped of natural goodness; that the apples and greens of today are nowhere near as good for us as those eaten 50 years ago; that the food we are eating is simply not as nutritious as it was pre-World War II. It turns out this is not restricted to the fruit and vegetable realm. In the past, it took a steer (a young neutered male bull, i.e. not good for breeding but good for eating) more than six years to reach a body weight of 500kg; now, it takes an unnatural 20 months. A modern dairy cow produces 9000kg of milk per year compared with 2000kg in 1956. A 2kg broiler chicken is now produced in six or seven weeks instead of 14. The list continues, and as I delve deeper down the wormhole and start pulling together the parts of a broken food system, I realise they are parts of the sum of my journey. This system that does not have our best interests at heart and the ethyleneengineered travelling fruits are some of the places in-between my departure point and my destination. It seems, like my master of the journey old man, I cannot resist the detour either. I have a long way to go before I reach my destination, but am reminded by Dan Eldon’s mother, that the journey is the destination. One thing I know, is that to have the banana of my dad’s dream and my memory, I’ll have to grow my own.

One thing I know, is that to have the banana of my dad’s dream and my memory, I’ll have to grow my own.

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July 1993, a UN aerial attack on a house where warlord Mohamed Farrah Aidid was believed to be staying took place and purportedly more than 70 innocent Somalis were killed. Survivors of the attack invited journalists Dan Eldon, along with Hos Maina, Anthony Macharia and Hansi Krauss, to cover the aftermath of the attack on July 12, 1993. When Dan and his colleagues arrived, the very people they were trying to help turned on them. They were beaten and stoned to death by a Mogadishu mob.


HERB CRUSTED SIRLOIN One of my favourite cuts of meat to do on the fire has to be by far the sirloin for that strip of fat that runs down the side – that carries the flavour of the meat gloriously around your mouth – plus, it’s almost idiot proof to braai/barbecue so it’s a great place to start honing your skills on the fire. INGREDIENTS: As many 1 to 1 ½ inch (2.5-4 cm thick) sirloins as you have mates coming round… For the herb rub per sirloin Teaspoon of garlic flakes Teaspoon of fresh or dried rosemary Zest of about ½ a lemon Teaspoon of black pepper Teaspoon of coriander seeds Teaspoon of mustard seeds ½ a teaspoon of sea salt ½ a teaspoon of smoked paprika (optional) HOW to Do it? 1.

2.

3.

4.

5. 6. 7. 8.

Before you even start cooking, make sure the meat is at room temperature. This will prevent charring and inconsistent cooking (just think of an ice block melting and how the inner core is the last bit to melt – well, the same is true of meat – if it’s not at room temp, when you cook the meat rare – the core of your steak won’t be cooked, and to boot, will be ice cold…) Light a hot fire. First, pat the meat dry, then, bash together in a mortar and pestle all the spices except the salt until you have a rustic herb rub, where the seeds are broken apart but not turned into a powder, then add the salt and lemon zest and mix them around. Sprinkle the rub over the meat on both sides, don’t rub the spices into the meat – but rather using your fingertips, press the spices into the meat. It’s called a rub, but don’t rub the spices into the meat. Stand the sirloin upright and rub salt into the fat – this will help to render the fat and make it nice and crispy. On gentle coals, stand the meat upright, like soldiers, fat side down on the grid and cook for 4-5 minutes to render the fat and make it nice and crispy. Lie the meat on its side on a hotspot and braai for 4 minutes Turn the meat, and cook for a further 4 minutes then take the meat off the grid, and let the meat rest for 5 minutes Carve up into slices and serve with a hot English Mustard or Chimichurri Please, the meat is already dead – so anything more than rare, medium rare is ruining the meat, and you might as well eat cardboard… GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020 15


WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS

When the boks come to town after a major tournament win and you don’t know what to wear, and it turns out it doesn’t matter because you can’t outshine Faf or the fans. Gus Silber feels the love at the Jozi bokbefok parade.

there were cloudbursts of song, murmurs rolling into swells into full-throated choruses, Shoshaloza rolling into Nkosi Sikelel' into Hier Kommie Bokke.

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The only Springbok garment I was able to find in my cupboard, at short notice, was a vintage model from the 2011 Rugby World Cup, the one the All Blacks narrowly won on home turf. Still, it was green and it was gold, and there was the Bok pronking on the front, and the FafSpeedo flag in pride of place on the bicep. So I slipped the tee-shirt on — it fitted, loosely, I think because the whole range is tactfully designed to accommodate boeps of all shapes and sizes — and I ordered myself an Uber. Muderwa in a Corolla arrived within three minutes, and when he saw my shirt, he said, above the music, that the Boks would have won even if they had lost, because they had played with such blood and heart. He tapped his fist against his chest as he said this, the way the Boks do when they line up to sing the anthem. "Blood and heart," he said. "That's what makes them strong." I got out on Juta Street, in the heart of artisanalhipster Braamfontein, with Wits just up the road, and the Nelson Mandela Bridge, with its stately masts and riggings, leading the way into town. In the chromium heat of a highveld summer day, the kind that holds the hope of lightning and rain in its circuitry, I could smell boerewors sizzling on the braai. I followed my nose to Bertha Street, and there I saw three okes, standing around a double-cab Hilux, the wors gushing in a pool of fat on the Cadac. They were wearing tee-shirts just like mine, and were sipping Windhoeks and Castles from the bottle. The spiral horns of a kudu bull were affixed to the front of the bakkie, which itself was festooned with flags, so I surmised that they must have travelled a long route overland to get here. But when I asked one of the okes where they had come from, he shrugged his beer and said "Ag, Parkhurst", which is, like, 10 minutes up the road. He folded a stuk of wors into a Portuguese roll, and looking around, he saw a stern-faced gogo wearing a Hands Off Venezuela tee-shirt, with the hammer and sickle of the South African Communist Party rampant. "Would you like one?" he said, offering her the boerie roll, and the gogo nodded and took it and sat regally on a canvas camping chair to wait for the parade. Further up Jan Smuts, the crowd was spilling from the pavement onto the street, and the best efforts of the SAPs and the Metro Cops and the private security — Bad Boyz, complete with twirlywired earpieces, like agents of the Secret Service — could not keep them at bay. The street was getting narrower and narrower, and every car and truck and bus and minibus

taxi that squeezed into the gap was greeted with whistles and whoops and cardboard signs of welcome and swirls of flag, as if in rehearsal for the real thing. In turn, they hooted, but everyone hoots in Joburg, so it was hard to tell if they were Bok supporters or just Joburg drivers. A guy was wandering through the crowd, bearing a pad of green-ink and a bok-shaped stamp, and people instinctively shook their heads when he approached them, the Joburg sign for sorry, I haven't got anything on me. But all he wanted to do, for free and mahala, was anoint them with the Sign of the Bok, on their arms or their hands or the side of their face. I strolled back down to Bertha, anointed, and out of nowhere, four young guys, wearing flags as capes and flags as underpants — Springbroekies, I believe they're called — dashed whoopingly across the road, beneath a banner that read #BokBefok. There were rumours that the bus was on its way, but they were like the rumours of the rain: it didn't, and instead there were cloudbursts of song, murmurs rolling into swells into fullthroated choruses, Shoshaloza rolling into Nkosi Sikelel' into Hier Kommie Bokke. And then you couldn't hear a word of song, because everyone was pointing, waving, jumping, surging forward to meet the bus. In the squinting distance of the cross-street, it looked to me like a big green warship, making

He tapped his fist against his chest as he said this, the way the Boks do when they line up to sing the anthem

GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020 17


its way home from the Odyssey, the warriors silhouetted against the silvery clouds, the sun carving a beam of light from the golden chalice. I looked up when the bus was right next to me — I could taste the choke of its diesel, the waves of heat shimmering off the chassis — and I saw the takkies of the Boks, dangling over the edge. And then Siya Kolisi, the Captain, acknowledging the cheers of the crowd, put his fist to his chest and held out his arm, and I understood that gesture for the first time: I am of you, it means; we are blood. Someone down below, holding a rugby ball, caught his eye, and Siya beckoned: "Throw". The ball arced up to the top of the double-decker, and Siya caught it and signed and passed it around. The school blazers flew, the school ties, the teeshirts, like gifts to the gods, and the gods threw them back, inscribed.

It was a sense of wonder, an exultation of the spirit, just a heartbeat away from love.

I followed the bus, jostled like flotsam by the throng, across the Nelson Mandela Bridge, into town, stopping at FNB Bank City, past the City Hall and onto Simmonds, at the edge of the freeway to Soweto, and everywhere I saw a certain look on the faces in the crowd. They were lost in the moment, unblinking, a light shining in their eyes, and I saw that look, finally, as something beyond joy, beyond pride, beyond, even, hope. It was a sense of wonder, an exultation of the spirit, just a heartbeat away from love. And even though I didn't take a selfie, I had the feeling that I was wearing that look too, on the day the Springboks, the 2019 Rugby World Cup champions, came to town.



New Year traditions around the world

On 1 January 2020 at the stroke of midnight, millions of people will welcome the new year in countless ways reflecting the unique traditions of their cultures. Some will eat grapes while others don polka dots; somewhere, some folk will be clutching money in their hands or singing Auld Lang Syne. But the one thing all of them will do is celebrate, as they see out the old year and usher in the new. Around the world, New Year is a time of great hope and excitement, an opportunity to leave past worries behind and start a new chapter. Celebrations around the world New Year celebrations share a number of traditions across the globe. In most countries it’s customary to party until the early hours of New Year’s Day, to launch fireworks and resolutely make promises for a better self in the new year. All around the world, parties are attended by multitudes of people, from New York’s Times Square where a million revellers wait for the crystal LED ball to drop, to Sydney, Australia, where the iconic Harbour Bridge lights up with

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one of the world’s most spectacular fireworks displays. With more than 24 different time zones in the world, the switch over does not happen all at once. New Year celebrations start their roll out on the small islands of Tonga, Samoa and Kiribati. Followed by New Zealand, Australia, Japan and South Korea, the festivities continue across the planet with the outlying US islands, Bakers and Howland Island, at last. For some nations New Year does not fall on 1 January. These cultures follow solar, lunar, and other calendars to identify special holidays. Chinese New Year is celebrated sometime between the end of January and into February, depending on the new moon of the first month of the lunar calendar. Rosh Hashanah is celebrated in the seventh month of the Hebrew calendar. The Islamic New Year is on the first day of Muharram, the first month in the lunar Islamic calendar. Across India, Diwali is celebrated as New Year’s Day in the Hindu calendar, falling in either October or November each year, depending on the cycle of the moon. It's observed on the 15th day of Kartik, the holiest month in the Hindu lunar calendar. For the folk in the Swiss town of Urnäsch, once is not enough, and New Year is celebrated on 31 December (Gregorian calendar) and then again on 13 January (Julian calendar). Warding off bad and ushering in good luck Most, and probably all New Year traditions aim to bring good luck in the coming months and ward off bad luck and evil spirits. Bonfires and fireworks


SWITCH PLAYGROUND End this year on a high with a unique SWITCH workout experience that combines aspects of functional and plyometric training, boxing, core stability and power-flow yoga. A live DJ fuels the energy, coupled with lighting and special effects. It’s the only group training class of its kind; where the workout changes daily and multiple trainers provide personal attention and motivation in a group environment.

Interested? For more information contact: Alison@switchplayground.com 083 962 5443 www.switchplaygroundsa.com | @switchplaygroundsa


The Danish hope that by throwing a plate on their neighbour’s doorstep on New Year’s Day, they will be assured of many friends in the year ahead.

flash and burn in many a New Year night sky to scare off demons and bad omens. New Year’s Eve is the only time when fireworks are legal in Finland without having to apply for permission, while in Stonehaven near Aberdeen in Scotland a time-honoured tradition sees locals make their own giant fireballs from chicken wire, paper and rags, set them on fire and swing them around as they march down the High Street. In Panama, people make bonfires to burn effigies of popular celebrities and political figures called muñecos. Burning them is believed to bring a fresh start for the year. Some traditions don’t involve fireworks or burning at all. In Denmark, residents look for the highest point they can jump from as the New Year starts, symbolically leaving behind the bad spirits and bad luck of the previous year to jump into a New Year full of promise and new beginnings. In a number of towns and villages in the Netherlands, revellers celebrate New Year by diving into the ice-cold waters of the North Sea, lakes or canals. The Danish hope that by throwing a plate on their neighbour’s doorstep on New Year’s Day, they will be assured of many friends in the year ahead. Columbians carry an empty suitcase around the block, bringing in a year filled with travel, while in Japan, Toshigami-sama, the New Year deity which comes to each family with promises of abundance and health, is welcomed with an event called O-Shogatsu. In Greece residents hang onions on their doors on New Year’s Eve. This kremmida is a symbol of rebirth and is used to wake children up before church the next day, with a tap on the head. Traditionally, to promote prosperity and good luck, Greeks also break pomegranates on their doorsteps before entering their homes on New Year’s Day. For the Scottish, the custom of first-footing is an important part of the celebration of Hogmanay, or New Year’s Eve. According to tradition, the first foot to cross a threshold after midnight will predict the next year’s fortune. The “first footers” thought to bring the best luck are new brides, new mothers, or tall, dark-haired males. They come bearing gifts such as a coin which represents financial prosperity, bread (food), salt (flavour), coal (warmth), an evergreen plant (long life), and a drink, usually whisky, for good cheer. Eating for good luck Certain foods bring good luck to different cultures. In Japan, one must eat toshikoshi soba noodles just before midnight on New Year’s Eve for longevity. These long noodles must not be broken while being eaten for fear of bad luck, so they are slurped. In the southern part of the US, Americans consume black-eyed peas for good luck. The tradition goes back to the American Civil War, when Vicksburg, Mississippi was under siege and ran out of provisions. The problem was resolved with the discovery of a store of black-eyed peas and the legume is still considered to be lucky. In Spain and other Spanish-speaking countries like Columbia, residents eat 12 grapes,

22 GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020

swallowing one with each strike of the clock or peal of the church bells, often gathering in a town square to celebrate this tradition communally. Panamanians make a wish with each grape they eat and believe that you should count the grape seeds to work out your lucky lottery numbers! The grape-eating tradition has been adopted and modified by the Portuguese who swallow 12 raisins at midnight and make a wish with each one. The Filipinos display 12 circular fruits symbolising coins or money on their New Year’s Eve table to attract prosperity and good fortune. In the Netherlands there is a long tradition of eating greasy foods such as oliebollen and appelflappen. According to legend, the preChristian Germanic goddess Perchta would fly across the sky with evil spirits in the darkest part of winter and try to cut open the stomach of anybody she met. Only those who had eaten greasy food would escape certain death. Spring cleaning A good house clean at New Year is traditionally done on Hogmanay in Scotland, and is a widespread practice in Ireland, North America and Japan, where the house cleaning is called Osoji. At this time the home is freshly decorated with pine and bamboo ornaments and plum trees. Dressing up In Romania, the traditional ritual of dressing up in a bear costume and going from house to house wards off evil spirits, and up north in the country, hundreds of people attend a festival of ceremonial dances performed by people dressed in bear furs. Remaining true to the circular motif of their new year foods, Filipinos wear clothing with circular designs or polka dots representing coins which signify wealth and prosperity. In South American countries - Brazil, Ecuador, Bolivia and Venezuela - wearing colourful underwear is an established and well honoured tradition, with red and yellow being the most popular choice. Red will bring love and yellow, money. "An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves," wrote American author and columnist William E Vaughn. Whatever your reason for celebrating, and however you choose to do so this year, here’s hoping that 2020 is a year full of good health and happiness.


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COMPETITION

LEKKERWATER - DE HOOP

In 1939 Bill Green walked or rode on the back of a horse (or a donkey depending who in his family is telling the story) following the coastline all the way from Hermanus to Mossel Bay searching for the most beautiful place to build his beach holiday home. He selected Lekkerwater as the most beautiful and built his family’s holiday home right here. Their home was upgraded over the years until his farm was expropriated in the mid-1980s to make way for the missile testing range which ultimately morphed into De Hoop Nature Reserve. Because of its beauty and isolation, Lekkerwater was then selected as the “Camp David” residence for the ex-President FW De Klerk whilst he was State President during those transition years from 1990 to 1994. Lekkerwater became his personal retreat far from the prying eyes of the press and the public. The Green family’s old house was knocked down and a new house was built here for FW. Besides being the one place he could be guaranteed to relax and think, FW used Lekkerwater to host private discussions and debates about the new South Africa, Mandela and the Constitution. After 1994, FW relinquished his rights and the residence was ceded back to Cape Nature who rented it out by the night to De Hoop visitors. This continued until the 14th September 2015 when a lightening induced veld fire caused the thatch on the main building to ignite and burn down. 24 GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020

Natural Selection was offered the rights to lease the Lekkerwater site and jumped at the opportunity – its perfect setting; the miles of pristine beach; its vibrant inter-tidal zone; the opportunity to contribute to the sustainability of De Hoop Reserve and the Marine Protected Area offshore – and certainly because of its prime place in history. That starts with the FW De Klerk era but goes right back in times to Vasco da Gama and Bartholomew Diaz explorations of the 1400s – and even further back to when the earliest ancestors of each and every person on the planet used to hunt & gather along this coastline. The latest scientific discoveries are uncovering that this stretch of the Southern Cape coastline is the ancestral home of every human being. It is indeed no surprise that each and every Lekkerwater guest has a sense of arriving back home when they step through Lekkerwater’s doors, not only in the homely, welcoming way Lekkerwater is run and managed – but through our deepest sense of ancestral connection to this place! Welcome home! For more info, please look at www.naturalselection.travel/ camps/lekkerwater-beach-lodge-at-de-hoop/ Or contact Natural Selection at reservation@naturalselection.travel, phone 021 001 1574


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WIN WIN WIN! WIN an all inclusive two night stay at Lekkerwater for two people. To enter, simply answer the following question: Which South Africa President chose this site to be his 'Camp David' retreat? Email your answer to kirsten@macpublishing.co.za. Winners to be announced in the March edtion. Valid until 1 September 2020. T&Cs apply.

GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020 25


Chronicles of a Kook

The ocean and I have always had what felt like a semi-abusive relationship. She would dunk me, slap me around and at worst take my jewellery right off me. It’s unsurprising that I’ve grown up with an almost unhealthy respect for the sea. I remember taking my cousin to surf school in Muizenberg as a youngster, and spending the entire lesson doing the newspaper sudoku in a restaurant with my aunt. Not once did it occur to me that I could be doing the same, or that I should take inspiration from my undaunted cousin. I simply was not that person. I’ve never been someone you would describe as athletic, especially when it comes to water sports. My boyfriend Max, on the other hand, seems to merge seamlessly with the water when he glides in. He’s grown up on the Plett shores and waves are a significant part of his life. Whether he’s body surfing or doing the real thing, he becomes immersed in the water, and will often only make his way out when I’m ranting about a desperate need for snacks, having guarded our goods on the beach for interminable hours. And so it’s predictable that Max has always been keen to get me on a board. I’ve always loved the idea of putting on a wetsuit and paddling out, and I love watching surfing, but as soon as he actually began suggesting getting out there, a wave of

Photo by Travelbug Rose 26 GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020

mild nausea would sink into my stomach and pathetic excuses would unconsciously hurtle out of my mouth. In January of this year, my excuses seemed to have run dry when Max initiated a surf lesson. Completely unaware of the nature of the beast, I was taken for this lesson at high tide on his little fiberglass board. A recipe for disaster. Max had worked at surf school for a few Decembers, and keeping this in mind helped to moderate my nausea. We did the land training and headed in. What followed was a series of unfortunate events. I spent most of the time panicking because of other people in the water, and when I wasn’t panicking I was lying flat and facing a succession of impressive wipeouts. We stayed in for about twenty minutes until Max finally conceded that high tide might not have been the best of learning conditions for my first day. I left the water feeling vaguely disappointed that I’d done more bodyboarding than surfing, but encouraged that I came out uninjured. My excitement evidently dwindled for the rest of the year as my second lesson only came around in September. We’d just celebrated Emma’s twenty-first on Saturday night, and for some strange reason we woke up on the Sunday and


decided to push our bodies (and hangovers) to even greater limits by going for lesson number two. As we rented the gear at Muizenberg, my anxiety seemed to only get worse with each limb that went into the suit. Emma, who had just partied her way into twenty one, was looking markedly more calm than I was. Max and Emma’s boyfriend went in for a surf and told us they would come back to fetch us for a lesson. As the two of us sat on the beach, people-watching the swarm of wetsuits juxtaposed against the lurid colours of their boards, I was hoping the boys would get too caught up in the water to bother about coming back for us. Much to my dismay, half an hour later there was Max, leash in hand and summonsing me for land training. As I hit the surface of the water and started to paddle (which involved Max pulling my board along), my heart rate picked up and

my breathing quickened. Every time we went through a wave, like a headless chicken, I would squawk out an unidentifiable gurgling noise while simultaneously whimpering about how massive the waves were. In reality, the water wasn’t higher than my belly button (and I’m 5ft 3). Despite Max’s patience, and soothing encouragement, I just could not seem to stand. My body kept going knees first onto the board and head first into the water, and my hangover only exacerbated the fact that I’d already admitted defeat before I’d even stepped foot into the sea. A few Sundays later, Max and I were lazing about after a big family lunch when he suggested another lesson. We headed back to Muizenberg and I felt an unexpected excitement to get into the water. We rented a board and set out into the cold. Once again, Max pushed me out onto a wave yelling out a string of loud and excited “paddles”, but I just couldn’t get onto my feet. My brain seemed only to reach as far as my knees. We GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020 27


Much of the learning process is mental. If you are repeatedly telling yourself that you’re unable to accomplish a task, you’ll struggle to complete it.

tried different techniques to no avail. Eventually, between heavy exhalations, I muttered something about not having enough core strength to stand, to which Max immediately silenced me and sent me on another wave. Roughly an hour later, my arms felt like lead, my nose was running and I was getting abused by wave after wave. All around me were people who elevated themselves with such ease, gracefully carving their way through a wall. From tiny ankle-biters to silver-haired figures, the entire population of Muizenberg seemed able to get vertical while I, like the less fortunate little sibling, remained stubbornly horizontal on my board. It wasn’t until Max casually mentioned that he might have seen an unfriendly fin further out that we decided to head in. While panic started to wash over me with the familiarity of a childhood friend, Max, whose heart-rate definitely hadn’t risen in the slightest, told me to catch the next wave to shore. Through what was probably a combination of adrenaline and sheer alarm, I managed to make my way onto the foamy¬– and deserted my horizontal grip to the board. My stubbornness had finally surrendered and I travelled to the beach in a stance which was far too upright for surfing, but upright nonetheless. As I tumbled off the board, I immediately looked back to see the reaction of my coach, like a

28 GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020

kid who has just ridden on two wheels for the first time. Behind me was that familiar mop of curls, shouting for me with a fist making its way through the air. Much of the learning process is mental. If you are repeatedly telling yourself that you’re unable to accomplish a task, you’ll struggle to complete it. For so long I had thoughts running through my head that said I would never be able to even attempt surfing because I’m a weak swimmer, I’m imbalanced, scared of the waves, and so the list continues. The list of disparaging thoughts only worsened when I actually got into the water. This is where Max’s role was so fundamental to the learning process. With a gentle determination, he refused to let these cynical thoughts creep their way into our lessons. He began replacing every ‘can’t’ with ‘you can’, and gradually this mindset began to sink in. With a bit more confidence under my belt we ventured into Plett low tide, where standing up became easier, and discouraging thoughts dwindled. For those of you who don’t see yourselves as surfers, know that there’s always space in the water for you.


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GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020 29


2020 – A New Beginning In Chinese numerology the number twenty is a significant number. Zero is considered the beginning of all things and as such is considered a “good” number, while two is generally though to represent companionship, cooperation and partnership. Putting the numbers together to form 20 therefore represents a new beginning, characterised by cooperation and partnership. Looking back to the 1920’s, the positive aura associated with the number 20 seems to have been present for most of the decade. It was a period of great wealth and prosperity in the USA and a period of great innovation. Inventions like the telephone, radio and the phonogram transformed the entertainment industry. The promulgation of the Volstead Act of 1919 resulted in the banning of the manufacture and sale of alcoholic beverages, which merely served to increase its illicit consumption in entertainment venues like jazz bars, and the 1920’s became known as the “Roaring Twenties”. It was also an era in which authors like John Steinbeck, T.S. Elliott and F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote of moral degeneration, corruption and decadence. 2020 seems to have many of the same characteristics. One of the main causes of World War 1 was Imperialism, or the desire of nations to increase their economic leverage by increasing the number of territories under their control and increasing their access to raw materials. Modern wars are fought on different battlegrounds, and at the heart of the USA/China trade war seems to be the battle for leadership in the field of 5G, which promises download speeds of 10 – 100 times faster than 4G. 5G is extremely important because it is needed to support the next generation of infrastructure including the billions of connected internet devices that will drive artificial intelligence systems, and it will determine whether the USA will maintain its technological edge. Huawei is currently viewed as the technological leader, and China sees technological dominance as their way to become the world super power. Mark Weisbrot, writing in the Market Watch (5 October 2019), suggests that Trump needs to resolve the trade war to increase his chance of re-election in 2020 because history shows that 30 GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020

the incumbent president is generally held responsible for the state of the economy. Any negative impact from the trade war with China may affect his chance of re-election, and a resolution to the trade war should be positive for global markets. The USA/China trade war has had an impact on the global economy, with some commentators suggesting that a global recession is imminent. In a recessionary environment more defensive companies that pay higher dividends are generally sought after. In the 2007 – 2009 financial crisis the best performing shares in the USA were Consolidated Edison, a utility company that supplies electricity to the Greater New York area (+10.5%), and Becton, Dickinson & Co., a company that sells medical devices and instrument systems (+17.5).

BUSINESS & FINANCE By: Chris Jordan, Business Development Manager. Sasfin Wealth pharmaceutical sector because of the high costs associated with research and development, and the extensive testing and approval processes that are required. A company that does seem to have benefited from the changing legislation is Scott Miracle-Gro (SMG), a company that manufactures pesticides. SMG is listed on the New York Stock Exchange, and it is the 7th largest holding in the Horizons Marijuana Life Sciences Index ETF. The SMG share price has moved from $ 72.42 to $ 103.43 over the last 12 months (+41%). The top six holdings in the ETF had losses varying between -20% and -87% over the last year, reflecting the difficulties often experienced in turning a good idea into a profitable business.

As opposed to the banning of alcohol in the USA that preceded the 1920’s, we

The decade beginning in 2020 is also the period in which predictions about the future will increasingly become reality, due largely to the impact of increasing computing power. The “rise of the robots” is probably the most feared advancement because of its potential impact on the future of transaction based jobs such as inventory management, basic accounting and even radiography. These same fears

are now witnessing the legalisation of cannabis for recreational and medicinal use. The term 420 is often used to refer to cannabis, so it is appropriate that 2020 should be a landmark year in the legalisation process. This should also result in new opportunities for investors, although new business startups often take some time to generate profits. This is particularly evident in the

were expressed during the industrial revolution in the early 1800’s, but rather than eliminating jobs it actually created more meaningful work. Volatility and change bring a certain amount of trepidation, but for astute investors they also bring great opportunities. Be aware of the changing environment and adjust your investment strategies accordingly.


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1. What note do orchestras typically tune up to? 2. By what name are Conninellids better known? 3. Which song did Ed Sheeran release a version of at the end of 2017 in which he duetted with megastar Beyoncé? 4. What is the 2nd tallest building in the world? 5. Complete the following quote by Albert Einstein: “There are only two things that are infinite, the universe and .... ,and I’m not sure about the former.” 6. Betz cells are found in which part of the body? 7. Which is the only letter in Scrabble to have a value of five points? 8. Who was the first ever winner of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’? 9. What is the name of the character played by Tom Cruise in the ‘Mission Impossible’ films? 10. Which traditional children's rhyme was about the plague? 11. What was Marilyn Monroe's natural hair colour? 12. Who invented the bikini? 13. What is an irrational fear of trees called? 14. What’s the Hungarian word for pepper?

15. How much does a litre of water weigh? 16. What disability connects Telly Savalas, Buster Keaton, Daryl Hannah, & Frodo Baggins? 17. Whose voice was used as Shrek in the movie Shrek? 18. What name is given to a male swan? 19. What is the second largest mineral after diamond? 20. Where in the human body is the pineal gland? 21. In Australian slang, what is a ‘thunder box’? 22. What do frogs have in their mouths that toads don’t? 23. What is the old name for a Snickers bar? 24. What word when written in capital letters is the same forwards, backwards and upside down? 25. Illustrated on its logo, Marmite is named after what? 26. What important feature of a person’s body is missing from the painting The Mona Lisa? 27. Which fictional venue is located at 112½ Beacon Street? 28. What make and model of car when first launched was said by experts to be more aerodynamic going backwards than forwards?

29. At which location will you find the only digital Rolex watch in the world? 30. What colour is the History wedge in Trivial Pursuit? 31. Who had children named Dweezil, Moon Unit, Ahmet, Rodin and Diva? 32. The Gravindex Test is used to detect what? 33. How many times does the letter P appear in The Peter Piper tongue twister? 34. If a person has just sternutated, what would they have just done? 35. What animal's name is also the term given to three strikes in a row in ten-pin bowling? 36. Translated into English, this drink would be called Aunt Mary, how is it better known? 37. True or false, a rat can survive longer without water than a camel? 38. How many numbers are there on a Roulette wheel? 39. What colour is Homer Simpson's car? 40. In Poker what is a hand containing two black 8s and two black Aces called?

ANSWERS 1 A, 2 Ladybirds, 3 Perfect, 4 Shanghai Tower, 5 Human stupidity, 6 Brain, 7 K, 8 Paul Potts, 9 Ethan Hunt, 10 Ring O’Roses, 11 Ginger, 12 Louis Reard, 13 Dendrophobia, 14 Paprika, 15 1kg, 16 All missing a finger, 17 Mike Myers, 18 Cob, 19 Corundum, 20 In the forehead, 21 A toilet, 22 Teeth, 23 Marathon, 24 NOON, 25 A French cooking pot, 26 Eyebrows, 27 Cheers, 28 Volkswagen Beetle, 29 Wimbledon (centre court), 30 Yellow, 31 Frank Zappa, 32 Pregnancy, 33 9, 34 Sneezed, 35 A Turkey, 36 Tia Maria, 37 True, 38 37 (0-36), 39 Pink, 40 A Dead Man’s Hand

32 GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020


do stuff... CAPE TOWN 1 December Zevenwacht Wine Estate SUMMERSAULT FESTIVAL www.summersault.co.za 5-7 December Goodhope Castle PLAYTOPIA MGA www.playtopia.co.za 6 December -12 January Artscape Opera House THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW www.artscape.co.za 7 December Cape Town Ostrich Ranch GET REAL FT CHEMICAL SURF & GROOVE DELIGHT www.howler.co.za 8 December Killarney International Raceway KILLARNEY MOTOR SHOW www.tickets.computicket.com 14 December Atlantic Beach Link BUBBLY & GIN SUMMER FESTIVAL www.webtickets.co.za 3-6 January PPC Newlands CRICKET: 2ND TEST SA VS ENGLAND www.cricket.co.za 15 January - 2 February Artscape Theatre Centre PETER PAN ON ICE www.artscape.co.za 1 February Shimmy Beach Club GIORGIA ANGIULI - LIVE SA TOUR www.shimmybeachclub.com 7 February Cape Town Stadium FEDERER V NADAL www.match-in-africa.com

14 February Green Point Track A-HA - HUNTING HIGH AND LOW LIVE www.howler.co.za

JOHANNESBURG 3-8 December Cornwall Hill College KAMERS/MAKERS www.kamersvol.com 6 December - 11 January Montecasino PETER PAN ON ICE www.tsogosun.com 26-30 December SuperSport Park CRICKET: 1ST TEST SA VS ENGLAND www.cricket.co.za 30-31 December Constitutional Hill AFROPUNK JOBURG FESTIVAL www.afropunk.com January 24-28 January Bidvest Wanderers CRICKET: 4TH TEST SA VS ENGLAND www.cricket.co.za 24 January - 9 February Sun Arena MARVEL UNIVERSE LIVE www.marveluniverselive.com 1 February The Station THE COTTON FESTIVAL www.webtickets.co.za 9 February Bidvest Wanderers 3rd ODI SA VS ENGLAND www.cricket.co.za 15 February Marks Park A-HA SA TOUR www.howler.co.za

PORT ELIZABTH 14-15 December Victoria Nature Park LOVEMORE STANCE www.lovemorestance.co.za 13 December Baywest Mall BAYWEST MALL ROAD RUN www.entrytickets.net

21 December Moses Mabhida Peoples Park THE DOEK ON FLEEK LIFESTYLE SA Find this event on Facebook 31 December Fact Durban Rocks FACT DURBAN ROCKS #FACT 18 www.webticket.co.za

22 December Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium BAY SUMMER FEST Find this event on Facebook

28 February The Pearls of Umhlanga THE FIRST ANNUAL OYSTER & BUBBLY FESTIVAL www.quicket.co.za

31 January MR GAY WORLD SA Venue to be confirmed www.mrgwsa.com

EAST LONDON

6-9 February Kurland Polo Fields PRUDENTIAL PE PLETT www.peplett.co.za

BLOEMFONTEIN 16 December Kroonpark Holiday Resort FREE STATE BEACH PARTY www.freestatebeachparty.co.za 29 February Brandkop Conservancy COLOUR DASH 2020 www.colourdash.co.za

DURBAN

6 December Elliott’s Dairy Farm CAROLS WITH THE COWS Find this event on Facebook

HOEDSPRUIT 1-2 February Haenertsburg BERRY FESTIVAL www.berryfestival.co.za

GEORGE 14 December Unity Park GEORGE LIGHTS FESTIVAL Find this event on Facebook

7 December KAIZER CHIEFS VS BLOEMFONTEIN CELTIC www.tickets.computicket.com 15 December The Hay Store SCHWEPPES DURBAN GIN FESTIVAL www.howler.co.za

GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020 33


BACK SEAT DRIVER

IN SEARCH OF THE WORLD’S BEST…RUCK? The 2007 Rugby World Cup in France will be a tournament that will be remembered fondly by South Africans for obvious reasons – they won it. But for the teams with great expectations that fall short of their targets, there are invariably inquests about what went wrong. For Graham Henry and his All Black side, that enquiry started straight after their defeat to France in the quarter final.

not your brother and is not your sister?” Richie thought and thought and couldn’t come up with the answer. “Can I think about it a bit more, Coach?—I’ll give you an answer tomorrow.” “Of course,” said Henry, “you’ve got 24 hours. But it is very important that you come up with the answer.” Richie went away, thinking as hard as he could, and then he called in his team-mates. Mils Muliana thought it might be his grandpa but wasn’t sure. Aaron Mauger was certain that it couldn’t be anyone. Ali Williams refused to answer in case he was sacked for not knowing. In the bar after the game Graham Henry (Kiwi Coach) approached Bernard Laporte (French Coach) and asked; “Bernie, I thought that I had this world cup in the bag, how did you beat me?” “Pretty simple,” replied Laporte, “I picked my players for their intelligence and asked them just one question.” “That simple?” said Henry. “Yep,”replied Laporte, “pick one of my squad and see how he does.”

Joe Rococoko thought it would be an uncle in Fiji who had been adopted as a child. The rest of the team wouldn’t even hazard a guess. Twenty hours later, Richie was very worried that he still had no answer with only four hours to go. Eventually McCaw thought, “I know, I’ll ring Andrew Mehrtens—he’s bloody smart, he’ll know the answer.” He phoned Mehrtens. “Merts, tell me—who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”

Henry thought for a while then nominated Freddie Michalak. Laporte called him over and asked him, “Who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?” “Ah simple, Bernie,” says Freddie, “it’s me.”

“Very simple,” said Mehrtens, “It’s me.”

“Well done, Freddie,” said Laporte, and Henry was very impressed. He returned to the hotel and wondered about the intelligence of his team. He called in Richie McCaw and asked him, “Who is the child of your father and of your mother who is

“No, you idiot,” said Henry, “It’s Freddie Michalak.”

34 GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020

“Of course,” said Richie and rang Henry. “Coach, I’ve got the answer—it’s Mehrtens!”


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36 GO EZ / December – February 2019 / 2020


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