A5_MIND_JOURNEYS1_Junior12_Summer04 24/02/2011 13:26 Page 1
WORDS By anonymous Sometimes words are insufficient They don’t even begin to come close. They only invite judgement On the life I have to lead. Words don’t describe the pain that eats They don’t even cover my loneliness They don’t grip others as my fear grips me Yet words dictate what they see.
mind
issUe 1
sPring 2011
enabling young people with mental health issues to work together to explore and recount their personal experiences.
journeys
At times my scars are a window They reveal what I cannot say. But in a language that you’ll never know, When translated, you’ll see ‘decay’. Yet I raise my glass in toast Knowing I understand better than most That some words are made to be written And never to be uttered. When we cry words escape us All that’s left is a groan. We can’t speak for the plug of emotion That renders us alone. So how then can words heal me? How can I talk it out? All I have is a wail of anguish And something to write about.
UsefUl ContaCts/DireCtory Calls are completely confidential. Speaking to someone about it can prove helpful, and is certainly a step in the right direction. If you want support here are some numbers:
saMaritans
sUPPort line
ChilDline
Offering confidential, non-judgemental support 24 hours a day.
Offering confidential emotional support to children, young adults and adults by post, telephone and email. We work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, strength, increased self esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life. We also keep details of counsellors, agencies and support groups in the UK.
Free 24 hour counselling service for children and young people up to and including 18 in the UK provided by The NSPCC.
08457 90 90 90 www.samaritans.org
oPen Door A counselling & psychotherapy service for young people aged 12-25 12 Middle Lane, N8
020 8348 5947
www.opendooronline.org
mind
journeys
01708 765 200
info@supportline.org.uk
0800 1111
www.childline.org.uk
“Expressing myself through art helped me overcome my mental health problems. It gave me a focus and allowed me to get out what was inside.” Vicky Opyrchal, 19
MinD Mental health charity working to create a better life for everyone with experience of mental distress.
0845 7660 163 www.mind.org.uk
this supplement is published by exposure organisation limited, registered in england no.3455480, registered charity no.1073922 and is funded by the Big lottery fund. the views expressed in the publication do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. (c) 2011. all rights reserved. Produced by Mirella issaias. Designed by luke Pantelidou
One in four people will be affected by mental ill health at some point in their lives. Many will experience prejudice, discrimination and isolation from society. This supplement aims to raise awareness, give hope, inform, educate and include the work of young people that have been brave enough to express their ‘mind journey’ to us. This supplement is also designed to promote mental wellbeing and to help fight discrimination against people with mental health problems. Mental illness doesn’t discriminate, it can affect anybody including those closest to us and maybe even you.
A5_MIND_JOURNEYS1_Junior12_Summer04 24/02/2011 13:26 Page 2
sammie’s Journey Sammie hatter, 18 deScribeS the challengeS of learning to cope with a mental health problem once doctorS tell you ‘there’S no cure’ Illustrated by Sammie Hatter My name is Sammie. I have mental health problems. This article is about my problems and how I want to move on to have a positive future. I’ve been in and out of hospital for almost two years suffering from a natural chemical imbalance in my brain. This causes a lot of anxiety. Doctors have different opinions over my diagnosis and about what my problem is. I thought there would be a cure for me but there isn’t one so I need to learn to cope with my problems. Many people believe that personal experiences can play a part in causing mental health problems. My parents split up when I was six which separated me from my brothers, who now live in America. I also lost contact with my grandpa’ and uncle. I’m only now becoming closer to them again.
makes me tired which reduces my anxiety. I also have blood tests every week to check all is good. Along with medication, I have Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which helps me think in a clearer way. I also have one-to-one Psychotherapy which is a talking session with a therapist discussing what’s bothering me and helping me to understand my thoughts better. Mindfulness is a great therapy which helps me to stay in the moment which means focussing on what’s in the room rather than what’s in my head.
Lots of people who have mental health problems enjoy drawing and writing. It’s a way of expressing what’s going on inside, making things clearer and challenging the fear. Drawing makes me feel I’m unsure if my problem is Controlling my anxiety is good. Drawing a great because of my parents hard but i think it will picture is a great feeling. I improve slowly, as i separating, but I think it’s a was having Art Therapy develop emotionally. factor. I became dependent on which is about drawing how my mum and I was not thinking you feel. It does not have to for myself. My mum didn’t be a good drawing, it’s just about getting realise I needed to think for myself. Sometimes, feelings out and onto paper, and then talking when parents are anxious it can make kids about it with the art therapist. The art work anxious too. often speaks for itself and it’s a good way to express yourself when some things are too I changed schools a lot which may have also painful to say with spoken words. played a part. I made some friends but I often felt I did not fit in. I’m trying to find a positive future. I’ve started
“
Controlling my anxiety is hard but I think it will improve slowly, as I develop emotionally. My psychiatrist felt I did not develop properly mentally going into adulthood. Certain smells bring back memories which can trigger my anxiety. Speaking about my past and going to new places also make me feel anxious. Being in hospital taught me helpful strategies to help my anxiety. I’m on medication for my condition. I have been on many drugs but the current one is called Clozapine. It takes about six months to get into my system and work properly. It helps the confusion in my brain and
mind
2 journeys
”
college. I’m doing a course about people coming out of hospital and getting back into the community. I can meet other people who also have mental health problems and relate to them. Later on in life, I would like to take a course in interior design. Life can be horrible. We should all make the most of the good times which is what I try and do. Mental health problems cannot always be cured. Sometimes you need to learn to live and cope with it as best you can.
Everyone around me keeps telling me how great I’m doing but inside I feel anxious and as though I’m not improving. Sometimes I feel sad and angry. People don’t realise what’s happening inside. At times, I don’t feel alive in my head. It’s as though I am not functioning. Getting yourself better is the most important thing but it’s difficult. It’s not an easy road, you have to watch out for the obstacles along the way.
WHAT IS ANXIETY? Anxiety disorders are conditions where severe or long-lasting feelings of anxiety interfere with every day life. When you’re anxious, you may also have a range of physical symptoms. These happen because of your body’s so-called ‘fight or flight’ response, which is caused by the release of the stress hormone adrenaline. The symptoms can include: • dizziness • diarrhoea • dry mouth • shaking • shortness of breath • discomfort in your tummy • rapid heartbeat or palpitations • tightness or pain in your chest • needing to urinate very often • difficulty swallowing You can also get psychological symptoms, which can include: • feeling tired • feeling worried • sleeping difficulties (insomnia) • feeling uneasy all the time • being irritable • being quick to get angry • being unable to concentrate • a fear that you’re ‘going mad’ • feeling not in control of your actions, or detached from your surroundings (derealisation) These are only a few of the possible symptoms associated with what might become a nervous breakdown or psychotic break. If you or someone you know is experiencing some of these symptoms, seek medical help as soon as possible.
mind journeys 3
A5_MIND_JOURNEYS1_Junior12_Summer04 24/02/2011 13:26 Page 2
sammie’s Journey Sammie hatter, 18 deScribeS the challengeS of learning to cope with a mental health problem once doctorS tell you ‘there’S no cure’ Illustrated by Sammie Hatter My name is Sammie. I have mental health problems. This article is about my problems and how I want to move on to have a positive future. I’ve been in and out of hospital for almost two years suffering from a natural chemical imbalance in my brain. This causes a lot of anxiety. Doctors have different opinions over my diagnosis and about what my problem is. I thought there would be a cure for me but there isn’t one so I need to learn to cope with my problems. Many people believe that personal experiences can play a part in causing mental health problems. My parents split up when I was six which separated me from my brothers, who now live in America. I also lost contact with my grandpa’ and uncle. I’m only now becoming closer to them again.
makes me tired which reduces my anxiety. I also have blood tests every week to check all is good. Along with medication, I have Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which helps me think in a clearer way. I also have one-to-one Psychotherapy which is a talking session with a therapist discussing what’s bothering me and helping me to understand my thoughts better. Mindfulness is a great therapy which helps me to stay in the moment which means focussing on what’s in the room rather than what’s in my head.
Lots of people who have mental health problems enjoy drawing and writing. It’s a way of expressing what’s going on inside, making things clearer and challenging the fear. Drawing makes me feel I’m unsure if my problem is Controlling my anxiety is good. Drawing a great because of my parents hard but i think it will picture is a great feeling. I improve slowly, as i separating, but I think it’s a was having Art Therapy develop emotionally. factor. I became dependent on which is about drawing how my mum and I was not thinking you feel. It does not have to for myself. My mum didn’t be a good drawing, it’s just about getting realise I needed to think for myself. Sometimes, feelings out and onto paper, and then talking when parents are anxious it can make kids about it with the art therapist. The art work anxious too. often speaks for itself and it’s a good way to express yourself when some things are too I changed schools a lot which may have also painful to say with spoken words. played a part. I made some friends but I often felt I did not fit in. I’m trying to find a positive future. I’ve started
“
Controlling my anxiety is hard but I think it will improve slowly, as I develop emotionally. My psychiatrist felt I did not develop properly mentally going into adulthood. Certain smells bring back memories which can trigger my anxiety. Speaking about my past and going to new places also make me feel anxious. Being in hospital taught me helpful strategies to help my anxiety. I’m on medication for my condition. I have been on many drugs but the current one is called Clozapine. It takes about six months to get into my system and work properly. It helps the confusion in my brain and
mind
2 journeys
”
college. I’m doing a course about people coming out of hospital and getting back into the community. I can meet other people who also have mental health problems and relate to them. Later on in life, I would like to take a course in interior design. Life can be horrible. We should all make the most of the good times which is what I try and do. Mental health problems cannot always be cured. Sometimes you need to learn to live and cope with it as best you can.
Everyone around me keeps telling me how great I’m doing but inside I feel anxious and as though I’m not improving. Sometimes I feel sad and angry. People don’t realise what’s happening inside. At times, I don’t feel alive in my head. It’s as though I am not functioning. Getting yourself better is the most important thing but it’s difficult. It’s not an easy road, you have to watch out for the obstacles along the way.
WHAT IS ANXIETY? Anxiety disorders are conditions where severe or long-lasting feelings of anxiety interfere with every day life. When you’re anxious, you may also have a range of physical symptoms. These happen because of your body’s so-called ‘fight or flight’ response, which is caused by the release of the stress hormone adrenaline. The symptoms can include: • dizziness • diarrhoea • dry mouth • shaking • shortness of breath • discomfort in your tummy • rapid heartbeat or palpitations • tightness or pain in your chest • needing to urinate very often • difficulty swallowing You can also get psychological symptoms, which can include: • feeling tired • feeling worried • sleeping difficulties (insomnia) • feeling uneasy all the time • being irritable • being quick to get angry • being unable to concentrate • a fear that you’re ‘going mad’ • feeling not in control of your actions, or detached from your surroundings (derealisation) These are only a few of the possible symptoms associated with what might become a nervous breakdown or psychotic break. If you or someone you know is experiencing some of these symptoms, seek medical help as soon as possible.
mind journeys 3
A5_MIND_JOURNEYS1_Junior12_Summer04 24/02/2011 13:26 Page 3
ogochukwu’s Journey ogochukwu okey-udah cutS through the mythS Surrounding Self-harm. Illustrated by Liam McCarthy
gabriel’s Journey gabriel calderwood, 15 deScribeS hiS experienceS of living with pSychoSiS Illustrated by Vicky Opyrchal Before psychosis everything seemed calm and bright. I could think clearly. I felt good about myself and most things. I went out with my friends a lot and had good times. I felt like I fitted in. Then everything started to go hazy. Nothing looked like it was real. I thought people were talking about me. Everything felt like it was spinning around in my head. I tried a lot of substances to make me feel better. Nothing really worked long term. I felt like I was losing my friends. The strange feelings and hallucinations became more forceful. The haze thickened around me, nothing seemed to help. I stopped going to school and slept increasingly. I could not spend time with my friends as I felt paranoid around them. I was constantly hallucinating. The haze was always there, clouding my thinking and seeing. I had panic attacks all the time that made me feel that I was going to be killed. I was sitting in the park hallucinating and trying to write things on walls to gain i think i am a different person now. Morphed by control. After this I don’t what’s happened. the remember many details journey carries on though, anymore. That was probably my it never goes away. breaking point. “I understand, I don’t comprehend.”
“
”
I was admitted into a hospital, got medication and things felt better. I felt safe in hospital for the first time in ages. I stopped hallucinating and panicking as much as I had been. Things seemed calmer. The mist lifted. I wanted to get back to my normal life as soon as possible. I think I am a different person now. Morphed by what’s happened. The journey carries on though, it never goes away. It definitely hasn’t been happy colours everywhere. I don’t know if it will get better. I am learning how to keep my psychosis at bay. I want to find a way to use it to my advantage. My psychosis does not tighten around me and I now understand what is happening. To view Gabriel’s film, ‘Takeo’s Journey’ which describes his experiences through his narrative film, go to www.youtube.com/exposureuk
mind
4 journeys
WHAT IS PSYCHOSIS? Psychosis is a loss of contact with reality, typically including delusions (false ideas about what is taking place or who one is), hallucinations (seeing or hearing things which aren’t there), and disorganised thinking. Psychosis is associated with the manic phase of bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and schizoaffective disorder. Other conditions where psychosis may be present include postpartum psychosis, dementia, depressive episodes, Parkinson’s disease and multiple sclerosis. The use of certain illegal drugs, including methamphetamine, can bring on psychotic episodes.
It was one of those days. Mum had shouted at me before school for losing my jumper; my teacher told me she was expecting me to do well in the science exam we had coming up, my best friend was avoiding me saying I was boring and that she’d found better people to hang with. Everyone and everything seemed to be working against me. I felt like I was going to explode under the pressure and the stress of it all. So I grabbed a razor blade and sliced my skin. Relief. Watching the blood roll out was like ecstasy, everything going on around me seemed bearable, and I was in control. According to teachernet.gov.uk, one in ten teenagers in the United Kingdom self-harm, and more than 24,000 teenagers are admitted to hospital each year after deliberately hurting themselves. Self-harming is misunderstood. When people hurt themselves on if someone you know purpose, it’s nothing like when cuts themselves, it’s you do it by accident. When not helpful to assume someone cuts themselves the they are attention brain releases endorphins, which seeking or mental. make you feel good, to help deal with the pain. You can become One of the worst things you can do is ignore hooked on the feeling and find yourself unable someone who self harms. This can make them (and sometimes unwilling) to stop. feel like no one cares about them. Stay with Quitting isn’t just as simple as waking up one them, listen to what they have to say, and be morning and saying, “Oh, I’m done with this positive. Sometimes lending an ear and a hug now... let’s move on.” You become so addicted, can be more helpful than you know. it feels impossible to stop, like any addiction.
“
Most teens that self-harm, don’t do it because they are suicidal, but because they want to survive, and feel it helps them get through the day. Just because someone self-harms, it doesn’t mean they are an Emo or Goth. And if someone you know cuts themselves, it’s not helpful to assume they are attention seeking or mental. This simply isn’t true. Calling them names such as ‘freak’ and isolating them from the group is likely to make things worse for them. You cannot understand what they are going through. And don’t be scared of them, they could be quite lovely if you actually got to know them.
”
WHAT IS SELF-HARM? There are different forms of self-harm. The most obvious one is cutting. Others include scratching, skin picking, pinching, hair pulling, burning and overdosing on pills. There are many reasons why people selfharm: to punish themselves, to relieve stress or anger, to calm themselves, to gain control or just to feel something real and physical. They believe injuring themselves puts an end to emotional pain, giving them something to think about other than the feelings inside them. Because of this, self-harm can very quickly become a way of coping.
mind journeys 5
A5_MIND_JOURNEYS1_Junior12_Summer04 24/02/2011 13:26 Page 3
ogochukwu’s Journey ogochukwu okey-udah cutS through the mythS Surrounding Self-harm. Illustrated by Liam McCarthy
gabriel’s Journey gabriel calderwood, 15 deScribeS hiS experienceS of living with pSychoSiS Illustrated by Vicky Opyrchal Before psychosis everything seemed calm and bright. I could think clearly. I felt good about myself and most things. I went out with my friends a lot and had good times. I felt like I fitted in. Then everything started to go hazy. Nothing looked like it was real. I thought people were talking about me. Everything felt like it was spinning around in my head. I tried a lot of substances to make me feel better. Nothing really worked long term. I felt like I was losing my friends. The strange feelings and hallucinations became more forceful. The haze thickened around me, nothing seemed to help. I stopped going to school and slept increasingly. I could not spend time with my friends as I felt paranoid around them. I was constantly hallucinating. The haze was always there, clouding my thinking and seeing. I had panic attacks all the time that made me feel that I was going to be killed. I was sitting in the park hallucinating and trying to write things on walls to gain i think i am a different person now. Morphed by control. After this I don’t what’s happened. the remember many details journey carries on though, anymore. That was probably my it never goes away. breaking point. “I understand, I don’t comprehend.”
“
”
I was admitted into a hospital, got medication and things felt better. I felt safe in hospital for the first time in ages. I stopped hallucinating and panicking as much as I had been. Things seemed calmer. The mist lifted. I wanted to get back to my normal life as soon as possible. I think I am a different person now. Morphed by what’s happened. The journey carries on though, it never goes away. It definitely hasn’t been happy colours everywhere. I don’t know if it will get better. I am learning how to keep my psychosis at bay. I want to find a way to use it to my advantage. My psychosis does not tighten around me and I now understand what is happening. To view Gabriel’s film, ‘Takeo’s Journey’ which describes his experiences through his narrative film, go to www.youtube.com/exposureuk
mind
4 journeys
WHAT IS PSYCHOSIS? Psychosis is a loss of contact with reality, typically including delusions (false ideas about what is taking place or who one is), hallucinations (seeing or hearing things which aren’t there), and disorganised thinking. Psychosis is associated with the manic phase of bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and schizoaffective disorder. Other conditions where psychosis may be present include postpartum psychosis, dementia, depressive episodes, Parkinson’s disease and multiple sclerosis. The use of certain illegal drugs, including methamphetamine, can bring on psychotic episodes.
It was one of those days. Mum had shouted at me before school for losing my jumper; my teacher told me she was expecting me to do well in the science exam we had coming up, my best friend was avoiding me saying I was boring and that she’d found better people to hang with. Everyone and everything seemed to be working against me. I felt like I was going to explode under the pressure and the stress of it all. So I grabbed a razor blade and sliced my skin. Relief. Watching the blood roll out was like ecstasy, everything going on around me seemed bearable, and I was in control. According to teachernet.gov.uk, one in ten teenagers in the United Kingdom self-harm, and more than 24,000 teenagers are admitted to hospital each year after deliberately hurting themselves. Self-harming is misunderstood. When people hurt themselves on if someone you know purpose, it’s nothing like when cuts themselves, it’s you do it by accident. When not helpful to assume someone cuts themselves the they are attention brain releases endorphins, which seeking or mental. make you feel good, to help deal with the pain. You can become One of the worst things you can do is ignore hooked on the feeling and find yourself unable someone who self harms. This can make them (and sometimes unwilling) to stop. feel like no one cares about them. Stay with Quitting isn’t just as simple as waking up one them, listen to what they have to say, and be morning and saying, “Oh, I’m done with this positive. Sometimes lending an ear and a hug now... let’s move on.” You become so addicted, can be more helpful than you know. it feels impossible to stop, like any addiction.
“
Most teens that self-harm, don’t do it because they are suicidal, but because they want to survive, and feel it helps them get through the day. Just because someone self-harms, it doesn’t mean they are an Emo or Goth. And if someone you know cuts themselves, it’s not helpful to assume they are attention seeking or mental. This simply isn’t true. Calling them names such as ‘freak’ and isolating them from the group is likely to make things worse for them. You cannot understand what they are going through. And don’t be scared of them, they could be quite lovely if you actually got to know them.
”
WHAT IS SELF-HARM? There are different forms of self-harm. The most obvious one is cutting. Others include scratching, skin picking, pinching, hair pulling, burning and overdosing on pills. There are many reasons why people selfharm: to punish themselves, to relieve stress or anger, to calm themselves, to gain control or just to feel something real and physical. They believe injuring themselves puts an end to emotional pain, giving them something to think about other than the feelings inside them. Because of this, self-harm can very quickly become a way of coping.
mind journeys 5
A5_MIND_JOURNEYS1_Junior12_Summer04 24/02/2011 13:26 Page 4
lambros’ Journey lambroS, 22 deScribeS the four foundationS that guided him through hiS breakdown
1
FAITh
It’s a spiritual feeling that I am always being looked after.
2
POSITIVITY
I need to be positive so I can defeat any negativity with my success and maximise my potential.
3
COURAGE Faith, positivity, courage and determination. These are the four foundations that guided me through my breakdown and helped me rebuild my life. I felt lost but somehow I knew that I had to pull through. After I finished studying at college, I was diagnosed with severe mental health conditions. This didn’t stop me achieving qualifications and to this day, I still cannot believe how I obtained what I have. After my breakdown, I became involved with various volunteering jobs. It helped me to keep busy and do constructive things with my time. Then I got involved with Exposure and found a place to escape from my problems. I found a way to talk about my experiences and produced a film called ‘The Mechanical One’ which used metaphorical images to describe my trauma.
I need to have courage to go in to certain situations to talk about the experience I have suffered.
4
DETERMINATION I need to be determined to do what I set out to do in my daily life and to think about my future.
liam’s Journey WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS/SIGNS OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN? • Hearing voices • Inability to cope • Feeling negative • Disinterest in family life • Exhibiting strong or violent anger • Disinterest in social life or alienation from previously close friends and family • Sleep disruption or much longer periods of sleep • Significant changes in appetite, such as eating too little or too much • Paranoid thoughts, such as thoughts that people are trying to harm you • Thoughts of grandeur or invincibility • Feelings of persistent anxiety or panic attacks • Seeing people who are not actually there • Thoughts of dying, wishing to die or suicidal thoughts • Having flashbacks to a prior traumatic event • Increasing dependence on alcohol or drugs • Inability to pursue a normal life, normal activities or normal relationships These are only a few of the possible symptoms associated with what might become a nervous breakdown or psychotic break. If you or someone you know is experiencing some of these symptoms, seek medical help as soon as possible.
I want to work with people with mental health issues in the future because I feel I want to contribute to the community. I am starting a course about health and social care next year. To view Lambros’ film, ‘The Mechanical One’ which describes his experiences through his narrative film, go to www.youtube.com/exposureuk
mind
6 journeys
liam mccarthy, 17 talkS about the difficultieS of not fitting in and affecting one’S mental health Illustrated by Liam McCarthy I suffer with depression. I was 13 when I first realised there was something wrong. My family noticed I was constantly moaning, upset and generally unhappy. I went through a stage of smoking and drinking but it didn’t help. I also have dyslexia and ADHD. At first a lot of people thought my depression was because of my ADHD, so they gave me medication. Now I’m a lot calmer which isn’t such a good thing to me because I liked being hyper.
When something major happens, it transports me back to my depression. For example, last year Jimmy, The Rev died. He was an amazing drummer and a huge inspiration to me. It took me a long time to get over it. Even remembering my ex-girlfriend’s birthday can trigger off a sad time, where I feel a dark cloud hanging over me.
One of the main causes of my it’s either music or depression is the fact drawing that i turn that my dad doesn’t to when i need a accept me. He would release. have liked me to be into football, into male activities, clean cut and work in the same industry as him. Instead I’m an Emo, I love having long hair and I don’t like watching football. Not feeling accepted by him is heartbreaking. I can’t be someone I’m not.
I draw a lot and when I do, it makes me feel loved. I know my drawings won’t leave me unlike men and women, that let me down. Drawing helps me express myself. I visualise drawings and take different elements to put the piece together.
“
”
Music is my passion and my escape. It’s either music or drawing that I turn to when I need a release. I love my instruments. I play the drums and bass. Most of my family are into music. My mum’s really cool ‘cause she’s a musician herself and I can talk to her about music. I feel my mum is the only person that actually loves me and understands me.
When my family annoy me or I feel misunderstood, it triggers off something bad in me. I sometimes feel like I just want to end it all just to shut them up. I go to weekly music classes to help me with my depression. It helps me focus on my music and not my depression.
WHAT IS DEPRESSION? The general definition of depression is a psychological disorder that affects a person’s mood changes, physical functions and social interactions. WHAT IS ADHD? Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) refers to a range of problem behaviours associated with poor attention span. WHAT IS DYSLEXIA? Dyslexia is a learning disability characterised by difficulties with accurate and/or fluent word recognition and by poor spelling and decoding abilities.
mind journeys 7
A5_MIND_JOURNEYS1_Junior12_Summer04 24/02/2011 13:26 Page 4
lambros’ Journey lambroS, 22 deScribeS the four foundationS that guided him through hiS breakdown
1
FAITh
It’s a spiritual feeling that I am always being looked after.
2
POSITIVITY
I need to be positive so I can defeat any negativity with my success and maximise my potential.
3
COURAGE Faith, positivity, courage and determination. These are the four foundations that guided me through my breakdown and helped me rebuild my life. I felt lost but somehow I knew that I had to pull through. After I finished studying at college, I was diagnosed with severe mental health conditions. This didn’t stop me achieving qualifications and to this day, I still cannot believe how I obtained what I have. After my breakdown, I became involved with various volunteering jobs. It helped me to keep busy and do constructive things with my time. Then I got involved with Exposure and found a place to escape from my problems. I found a way to talk about my experiences and produced a film called ‘The Mechanical One’ which used metaphorical images to describe my trauma.
I need to have courage to go in to certain situations to talk about the experience I have suffered.
4
DETERMINATION I need to be determined to do what I set out to do in my daily life and to think about my future.
liam’s Journey WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS/SIGNS OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN? • Hearing voices • Inability to cope • Feeling negative • Disinterest in family life • Exhibiting strong or violent anger • Disinterest in social life or alienation from previously close friends and family • Sleep disruption or much longer periods of sleep • Significant changes in appetite, such as eating too little or too much • Paranoid thoughts, such as thoughts that people are trying to harm you • Thoughts of grandeur or invincibility • Feelings of persistent anxiety or panic attacks • Seeing people who are not actually there • Thoughts of dying, wishing to die or suicidal thoughts • Having flashbacks to a prior traumatic event • Increasing dependence on alcohol or drugs • Inability to pursue a normal life, normal activities or normal relationships These are only a few of the possible symptoms associated with what might become a nervous breakdown or psychotic break. If you or someone you know is experiencing some of these symptoms, seek medical help as soon as possible.
I want to work with people with mental health issues in the future because I feel I want to contribute to the community. I am starting a course about health and social care next year. To view Lambros’ film, ‘The Mechanical One’ which describes his experiences through his narrative film, go to www.youtube.com/exposureuk
mind
6 journeys
liam mccarthy, 17 talkS about the difficultieS of not fitting in and affecting one’S mental health Illustrated by Liam McCarthy I suffer with depression. I was 13 when I first realised there was something wrong. My family noticed I was constantly moaning, upset and generally unhappy. I went through a stage of smoking and drinking but it didn’t help. I also have dyslexia and ADHD. At first a lot of people thought my depression was because of my ADHD, so they gave me medication. Now I’m a lot calmer which isn’t such a good thing to me because I liked being hyper.
When something major happens, it transports me back to my depression. For example, last year Jimmy, The Rev died. He was an amazing drummer and a huge inspiration to me. It took me a long time to get over it. Even remembering my ex-girlfriend’s birthday can trigger off a sad time, where I feel a dark cloud hanging over me.
One of the main causes of my it’s either music or depression is the fact drawing that i turn that my dad doesn’t to when i need a accept me. He would release. have liked me to be into football, into male activities, clean cut and work in the same industry as him. Instead I’m an Emo, I love having long hair and I don’t like watching football. Not feeling accepted by him is heartbreaking. I can’t be someone I’m not.
I draw a lot and when I do, it makes me feel loved. I know my drawings won’t leave me unlike men and women, that let me down. Drawing helps me express myself. I visualise drawings and take different elements to put the piece together.
“
”
Music is my passion and my escape. It’s either music or drawing that I turn to when I need a release. I love my instruments. I play the drums and bass. Most of my family are into music. My mum’s really cool ‘cause she’s a musician herself and I can talk to her about music. I feel my mum is the only person that actually loves me and understands me.
When my family annoy me or I feel misunderstood, it triggers off something bad in me. I sometimes feel like I just want to end it all just to shut them up. I go to weekly music classes to help me with my depression. It helps me focus on my music and not my depression.
WHAT IS DEPRESSION? The general definition of depression is a psychological disorder that affects a person’s mood changes, physical functions and social interactions. WHAT IS ADHD? Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) refers to a range of problem behaviours associated with poor attention span. WHAT IS DYSLEXIA? Dyslexia is a learning disability characterised by difficulties with accurate and/or fluent word recognition and by poor spelling and decoding abilities.
mind journeys 7
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WORDS By anonymous Sometimes words are insufficient They don’t even begin to come close. They only invite judgement On the life I have to lead. Words don’t describe the pain that eats They don’t even cover my loneliness They don’t grip others as my fear grips me Yet words dictate what they see.
mind
issUe 1
sPring 2011
enabling young people with mental health issues to work together to explore and recount their personal experiences.
journeys
At times my scars are a window They reveal what I cannot say. But in a language that you’ll never know, When translated, you’ll see ‘decay’. Yet I raise my glass in toast Knowing I understand better than most That some words are made to be written And never to be uttered. When we cry words escape us All that’s left is a groan. We can’t speak for the plug of emotion That renders us alone. So how then can words heal me? How can I talk it out? All I have is a wail of anguish And something to write about.
UsefUl ContaCts/DireCtory Calls are completely confidential. Speaking to someone about it can prove helpful, and is certainly a step in the right direction. If you want support here are some numbers:
saMaritans
sUPPort line
ChilDline
Offering confidential, non-judgemental support 24 hours a day.
Offering confidential emotional support to children, young adults and adults by post, telephone and email. We work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, strength, increased self esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life. We also keep details of counsellors, agencies and support groups in the UK.
Free 24 hour counselling service for children and young people up to and including 18 in the UK provided by The NSPCC.
08457 90 90 90 www.samaritans.org
oPen Door A counselling & psychotherapy service for young people aged 12-25 12 Middle Lane, N8
020 8348 5947
www.opendooronline.org
mind
journeys
01708 765 200
info@supportline.org.uk
0800 1111
www.childline.org.uk
“Expressing myself through art helped me overcome my mental health problems. It gave me a focus and allowed me to get out what was inside.” Vicky Opyrchal, 19
MinD Mental health charity working to create a better life for everyone with experience of mental distress.
0845 7660 163 www.mind.org.uk
this supplement is published by exposure organisation limited, registered in england no.3455480, registered charity no.1073922 and is funded by the Big lottery fund. the views expressed in the publication do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. (c) 2011. all rights reserved. Produced by Mirella issaias. Designed by luke Pantelidou
One in four people will be affected by mental ill health at some point in their lives. Many will experience prejudice, discrimination and isolation from society. This supplement aims to raise awareness, give hope, inform, educate and include the work of young people that have been brave enough to express their ‘mind journey’ to us. This supplement is also designed to promote mental wellbeing and to help fight discrimination against people with mental health problems. Mental illness doesn’t discriminate, it can affect anybody including those closest to us and maybe even you.