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KEEPING IT REAL
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BY MELANIE ROBITAILLE SR. STAFF WRITER & GRAPHIC DESIGNER
Why is it that no matter how great things are, we can still get sidetracked by negativity? There’s not a single one of us who can claim we’re happy 100% of the time, so honestly, why is it easier for us to believe the self-doubts, to get caught up in the gossiping, or to hang onto past hurts?
Do we all have some penchant for the shadowy side of life, or is there something else at work here? Psychologists call this phenomenon the negativity bias, which traces back to our most primal instincts. Keeping an eye out for the bad kept you alive evolutionarily speaking, but studies over the last few years are just starting to show how these responses change our very DNA and then subsequently pass through the generations. Research also shows that bad events elicit greater neurological activity responses in our brains as opposed to their good-vibing counterparts.
THE HARD TRUTH
The body’s most powerful computer, the brain, controls decision-making, reasoning, and judgement. Once biased, we start to see people differently, expect poorer outcomes, and eventually because we assume the worst, we can talk ourselves out of even taking the risk. A 2011 National Library of Medicine report linked negative biases with depression, add a global pandemic and it’s no wonder The World Health Organization reports that, “globally, more than 264 million people of all ages suffer from depression [which] at its worst can lead to suicide.” Over the past year help lines have been ringing off the hook across North America, and the Boston University School of Public Health ran a first-ever study that found “27.8% of U.S. adults had depression symptoms as of mid-April [2020], compared to 8.5% before the COVID-19 pandemic.”
OPENING UP THE DIALOGUE
Larry Gardner, a charismatic EXIT associate who’s known for his strong attitude of gratitude admits that even he’s had a hard time feeling the “love” over the last year saying, “In this social media reality and world of constant need to portray confidence no matter what’s truly going on, is it okay to keep it real and let people know that things are a little funky?” he questioned, “Having the best year of my career in full transparency, I’ve been depressed…since September. On a conscious level I’ve felt melancholy, and just haven’t been motivated. I’m starved for so many things I realize now that I took for granted. There’s a real need for us all not to be afraid to reach out, because we are all worth it, we are all loved, and we are all amazing! Keep showing up for yourself no matter what.”
TURNING THE TABLES
No stranger to mental illness and a recovering alcoholic for 36 years, Larry keeps making the positive come backs by doing what he just did…talking about it. Awareness is the first step. Small moves like focusing on lessons learned from past mistakes instead of the mistakes themselves or re-framing negative thoughts in the moment help, as do affirmation apps like Prompter!™. Negativity also has a kryptonite, and we come by it naturally. Make endorphin-producing activities like exercise, laughter, or musical inspiration part of your plan to help shake off the blues.
NEXT STEPS
Looking to lead by example at the brokerage level? According to Realtor.org’s Dealing with Mental Illness in the Workplace article, offering mental health coverage to your staff and educating them on those offerings, in addition to aligning with and supporting local mental health organizations are excellent ways to teach staff and reduce the stigma surrounding depression and other mental illnesses. As an option, see if some programming can be extended to clients because, as many know, not all real estate transactions are a dream come true.
When the time is right, and you’re ready to set some SMART goals and put some good intentions in motion, Larry challenges you to join him in a practice he’s been doing for years, writing a letter to yourself. Each year, he writes a congratulatory letter to himself for all the things he accomplished in his life that year, and the content runs the gamut of personal and professional goals. Using the buddy system, he invites you to mail your letter to him (along with a self-addressed and stamped envelope) so when the year mark rolls around, he can mail it back to you and you can witness the power of manifesting and cultivating your very own positivity. Keeping it real means acknowledging the good AND the bad, not joy-washing everything until something or someone (namely you) falls apart. It’s okay to not be okay, just as long as you always know and remember you’re never alone.
Send Your Letters To: EXIT Realty All Pro c/o Larry Love 269 West Main St. Bayshore, NY 11706
