Equipping the Man in the Mirror April-May-June 2010 by Stephanie Lopez

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Table of Contents April/May/June 2010

Featured Articles

q A Prayer for Spiritual Revival and Awakening by Dr. Patrick Morley . . . . . . . . . 3 q Road Map to Spiritual Awakening by Dr. Patrick Morley. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 q Giants of the Faith on Revival . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 q What Leaders Say About Revival . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 q 2010 Annual Summit Revives and Renews by Brett Clemmer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

Resource Tools

q Equipping Your Men’s Small Group. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 q How to Use This Devotional. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 q Resource Catalog. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 q From the Web: disciplemen.com. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

Devotions

q April 2010 Devotions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 q May 2010 Devotions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 q June 2010 Devotions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

At the end of many of the devotionals you will find an abbreviation for a resource that expands on the devotional material. If you’d like to order the book, CD, or read more from that resource, please go to www.maninthemirror.org. MIMBS—Man in the Mirror Bible Study : MIMBS 1—The Meaning of the Cross : MIMBS 2—How Do I Get Back in Right Relationship with God? : MIMBS 3—Doing Business God’s Way-Purpose : MIMBS 4—A Man’s Guide to Inevitable Events: Expensive Decisions : MIMBS 5—Fed Up With Having to Perform : MIMBS 6—Call to Repentance : MIMBS 7—Call to Action

: MIMBS 8—Four Temptations Men Face by David Delk : MIMBS 9—Challenge Men to Imitate Paul’s Leadership : MIMBS 10—Communicate With Confidence : MIMBS 11—A Daily Dad : MIMBS 12—A Practical Education : MIMBS 13—To Love God With the Totality of Our Being

Equipping the Man in the Mirror: April/May/June 2010, Vol. 5, No. 2 Publisher: Man in the Mirror, Inc. • CEO: Patrick Morley • Executive Editors: David Delk and Brett Clemmer Publication Manager: Lucy Blair • Art Director: Cathleen Kwas • Contributing Editor: Stephanie Lopez Writers: Lucy Blair and Ruth Ford Office: 180 Wilshire Blvd., Casselberry, Florida 32707 Phone: 800-929-2536 • Fax: 407-331-7839 • Web site: www.maninthemirror.org

Copyright © 2010 by Patrick Morley and Man in the Mirror, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscription Information: One year—$25. Two years—$43. For reprint requests or bulk subscriptions call 407-472-2100 or send an email to EQMIM@maninthemirror.org and ask for reprint permissions. All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked nkjv are taken from the the New King James Version. Copyright ©1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked the message are taken from the The Message by Eugene H. Peterson, copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked nlt are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

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A Prayer for Spiritual Revival and Awakening

by Dr. Patrick Morley . Our walls are broken down. We groan under the weight of dozens of overwhelming problems like the economy, two wars, the breakdown of the family, fatherlessness, the virtual collapse of marriage, sexual sins of every persuasion, rampant greed, over 50 million abortions since 1973, poverty, unemployment, and unsustainable federal deficits. Most of us know the only solution is the supernatural intervention of our sovereign God. But how does that happen? The starting point is to cry out to God in humble repentant prayer. 2 Chronicles 7:14 says, “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will answer their prayer and will heal their land.” Notice that repentance precedes revival. Will you join me in prayer for national repentance and revival? Here is a prayer you can pray, or you can pray in your own words: Our Dearest Father, our walls are broken down. We have been doing what seems right in our own eyes. We have exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and the glory of God for idols. We have become worldly Christians. We have been seeking the God we want and not the God who is, and we are sorry. I am sorry. Lord, we groan beneath the weight of overwhelming problems—problems too big for human ingenuity—problems that are destroying us. We have sinned against You. We have sinned against each other. We are pierced and grieved by our transgressions. O God, we come to You in the spirit of 2 Chronicles 7:14. Have mercy upon us, O Lord. Hear our plea. We seek Your face. Forgive our sins. We turn from our wicked ways. Put a new heart in us. Heal our land. Deliver us from destruction. Send the fresh wind of Your Holy Spirit upon us. Bring glory to Yourself by reviving Your people, O Lord. Awaken those who do not yet belong to You, Sovereign Lord, by turning their hearts toward Jesus. Amen. What might God do if millions of us began to pour out our hearts to him in humble repentant prayer for deliverance? Let’s pass this prayer around. You might use this as a congregational prayer or copy and email this prayer to your list. For more resources on revival, select The Weekly Briefing in the Resource Center on www.maninthemirror.org. #341—How to Lead a Prayer Meeting for National Repentance and Revival #349—A Prayer for Spiritual Revival and Awakening #356—Exactly What Is a Spiritual Revival and Awakening? A Look in the Mirror: #178—America in Depression: A Call to National Repentance Check out the Facebook group: REVIVAL—Let’s see who on Facebook is/will pray for revival & awakening http://alturl.com/dvrq

A Road Map to Spiritual Revival and Awakening in America by Dr. Patrick Morley . In describing what happened in Jonathan Edward’s Northampton, Massachusetts church in 1734, observers said, “It pleased God…to display his free and sovereign mercy in the conversion of a great multitude of souls in a short space of time, turning them from a formal, cold, and careless profession of Christianity, to the lively exercise of every Christian grace, and the powerful practice of our holy religion.”1

TIMING

That’s about as clear a definition for revival and awakening as we’ll ever get! During a revival, God supernaturally transforms believers and non-believers in a church, locale, region, nation, or the world through sudden, intense enthusiasm for Christianity.2 People sense the presence of God powerfully; conviction, despair, contrition, repentance, and prayer come easily; people thirst for God’s word; many authentic conversions occur and backsliders are renewed. Revival and awakening are, generally, synonyms. The larger the geography a revival covers, the greater the tendency to call it an awakening.

America has a deep, rich history of revivals and awakenings.

Revivals in America: A Well Travelled Road The Great Awakening, 1734-43. In December, 1734, the first revival of historic significance broke out in Northampton, Massachusetts, where a young Jonathan Edwards was pastor. After months of fruitless labor, he reported five or six people converted—one a young woman. He wrote, “[She] had been one of the greatest company-keepers in the whole town.”3 He feared her conversion would douse the flame, but quite the opposite took place. Three hundred souls converted in six months—in a town of only 1,100 people!4 The news spread like wildfire, and similar revivals broke out in over 100 towns.5 Starting in Philadelphia in 1739, George Whitfield’s dramatic preaching was like striking a match to the already-under-way awakening. An estimated 80% of America’s 900,000 Colonists personally heard Whitfield preach.6 7 The Second Great Awakening, 1800-1840. In 1800, only one in 15 of America’s population of 5,300,000 belonged to an evangelical church.8 Presbyterian minister James McGready presided over strange spiritual manifestations in Logan County, Kentucky. The resulting camp meeting revivals drew thousands from as far away as Ohio.9 10 Rev. Gardiner Spring reported that for the next 25 years not a single month passed without news of a revival somewhere.11 In 1824, Charles Finney began a career that would eventually convert 500,000 to Christ. An unparalleled 100,000 were converted

PRAYER

4 4

in Rochester, New York, in 1831 alone—causing the revival to spread to 1,500 towns.12 By 1850 the nation’s population exploded fourfold to 23,000,000 people, but those connected to evangelical churches grew nearly tenfold from 7% to 13% of the population—from 350,000 to 3,000,000 church members!13

THE WORD

The Businessmen’s Revival of 1857-1858. In 1857, the North Dutch Church in New York City hired a businessman, Jeremiah Lanphier, to be a lay missionary. He prayed, “Lord, what would you have me do?” Concerned by the anxious faces of businessmen on the streets of New York City, Lanphier decided to open the church at noon so businessmen could pray. The first meeting was set for September 23—three weeks before the Bank Panic of 1857. Six attended the first week, 20 the next, then 40, then they switched to daily meetings. Before long all the space was taken, and other churches also began to open up for businessmen’s prayer meetings.14 Revivals broke out everywhere in 1857, spreading throughout the United States and world. Sometimes called The Great Prayer Meeting Revival, an estimated 1,000,000 people were added to America’s church rolls, and as many as 1,000,000 of the 4,000,000 existing church members also converted.15 The Civil War Revival, 1861-1865. The bitter dispute over slavery thrust our nation into the deadliest war we’ve ever experienced. By the end, 620,000 Americans lay dead—one out of every 50 of the 31,000,000 people counted in the 1860 census. At the start of the Civil War in 1861, it seemed as though the soldiers for both sides had left their Christianity at home and gone morally berserk. By 1862, the tide turned, first among the Confederate forces. An estimated 300,000 soldiers were converted, evenly divided between the Southern and Northern Armies. 16 17

THE HOLY SPIRIT

The Urban Revivals, 1875-1885. Young businessman Dwight L. Moody participated in the Great Revival of 1857 as it swept Chicago.18 Moody later conducted revivals throughout the British Isles where he spoke to more than 2,500,000 people. In 1875, Moody returned home and began revivals in America’s biggest cities. Hundreds of thousands were converted and millions were inspired by the greatest soul winner of his generation.19 At this time, the general worldview of Americans was shifting away from a Christian consensus. Darwinism and higher criticism were gaining traction, and Moody became the first evangelist to come under attack—accused of making religion the opiate of the masses.20 By the turn of the twentieth century, the mood of the country was changing. Outside the church, it was the era of radio, movies, and the “Jazz Age.” World War I led to a moral let down and the Roaring Twenties. When that era came to an abrupt end on October 29, 1929, followed by the Great Depression, there was surprisingly little interest in spiritual revival.21 Inside the church, a half-century long battle raged between evangelicalism and theological liberalism which had penetrated major denominations.22 The effect was that twentieth century revivals were more limited in scope, and lacked the broad impact on society of earlier awakenings.23 The Revivals of 1905-1906. Word of the Welsh Revival of 19041905 spread to Welsh-speaking settlers in Pennsylvania in late 1904 and revival broke out. By 1905, local revivals blazed in places like Brooklyn, Michigan, Denver, Schenectady, Nebraska, North and South Carolina, Georgia, Taylor University, Yale University, and Asbury College

CONVICTION

continued on page 6

continued from page 5 in Wilmore, Kentucky.24 Billy Sunday, who became a key figure about this time, preached to more than 100,000,000 people with an estimated 1,000,000 or more conversions.25 The Azusa Street Revival, 1906. In 1906, William J. Seymour, an African-American Holiness pastor blind in one eye, went to Los Angeles to candidate for a pastoral job. But after he preached, he was locked out of the second service! He began prayer meetings in a nearby home and the Spirit of God—which they called “the second blessing”—fell after many months of concerted prayer. Eventually, the interracial crowds became so large they acquired a dilapidated Methodist church at 312 Azusa Street where daily meetings continued for three years. The resulting Pentecostal Movement and the later Charismatic Movement which both exploded worldwide in the twentieth century both trace their roots to this revival.26 27 28

GLORY FOR GOD

The Post-World War II Awakening. After World War II, in 1947 and 1948, Pentecostals experienced two strands of an awakening, one the Latter Rain Revival and the other the Healing Revival. Large numbers of evangelicals also experienced revival resulting in many conversions. It was at this time that a great generation of Christian leaders emerged. Bill Bright began Campus Crusade for Christ. In 1949, Billy Graham’s distinguished career, which popularized evangelical Christianity for a new generation, exploded on the scene during his Los Angeles crusade sponsored by the Christian Businessmen’s Committee.29 30 An estimated 180,000,000 people attended his nearly 400 crusades, and millions more viewed on television.31 College Revivals started as early as 1946, but when the prayer-based Wheaton College Revival of 1950 achieved national publicity, it sparked other college revivals throughout America.32

REFORMATION AND RENEWAL

The Charismatic Renewal and Jesus Movement. During the late 1960s and early 1970s more revivals of national scope developed. The first strand was the Charismatic Renewal which spread far beyond Pentecostal and Holiness churches to college campuses, the Catholic Church, and mainline denominations.33 The second strand, the widely publicized Jesus Movement, emphasized turning from drugs, sex, and radical politics to taking the Bible at face value and finding Jesus Christ as personal Savior.34 Not surprisingly, this revival spread to college campuses, most notably the 1970 Asbury College Revival in Wilmore, Kentucky. Within a week the revival had spread throughout the entire country.35 In 1976 America elected a born again President, and evangelicalism has continued to prosper from then to now. The Mid-1990s Revivals. Despite the widespread secularization of society since the Cultural Revolution that began in the late 1960s, in the mid-1990s God once again brought a series of revivals, mostly to Charismatic and Pentecostal groups.

MANIFESTATIONS

In 1994 it was The Toronto Blessing, and 1995 ushered in The Melbourne Revival on Florida’s Space Coast, the continued on page 60

They Said It…Giants of the Faith on Revival

. If you do not long to see the conversion of your hearers. . .you are not likely to see much success. . . . But, let all who preach for Christ and men’s salvation be unsatisfied until they have the thing they preach for. —Richard Baxter, 1656

Revival is a renewed conviction of sin and repentance, followed by an intense desire to live in obedience to God. It is giving up one’s will to God in deep humility. —Charles Finney

Have you noticed how much praying for revival has been going on of late—and how little revival has resulted? I believe the problem is that we have been trying to substitute praying for obeying, and it simply will not work.

We cannot organize revival, but we can set our sails to catch the wind from Heaven when God chooses to blow upon His people once again. —G. Campbell Morgan

—A.W. Tozer We don’t understand revival; in fact, we don’t even have the slightest concept of what true revival is. For generations we have thought of revival in terms of a banner across the road or over a church entryway. We think revival means a silver-tongued preacher, some good music, and a few folks who decide they’re going to join the church. No! Real revival is when people are eating at a restaurant or walking through the mall when they suddenly begin to weep and turn to their friends and say, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I know I’ve got to get right with God. —Tommy Tenney, God Chasers

A lot of our activity often mistaken for revival is just the church turning over, but not waking up.

—Vance Havner

Oh! men and brethren, what would this heart feel if I could but believe that there were some among you who would go home and pray for a revival. Men whose faith is large enough, and their love fiery enough to lead them from this moment to exercise unceasing intercessions that God would appear among us and do wondrous things here, as in the times of former generations. —Charles Spurgeon

Study the history of revival. God has always sent revival in the darkest days. Oh, for a mighty, sweeping revival today!

—Adrian Rogers

We feel most happy, most alive, and most useful doing the work we were created to do. Does that describe the men you know?

W 0! NE 01

r2 fo

Men were created to work.

Learn how to experience the power of God in your work, to bring about social transformation through your work and how to make your work life count for the glory of God!

Patrick Morley, author of The Man in the Mirror, knows that men everywhere want their lives to count, to make a real difference. He has written a book for men in the workforce who want to integrate their faith and work. Whether a businessman, construction worker, salesman, lawyer, accountant, or plumber, men will be introduced to principles which provide a better understanding of themselves and how to be most effective and valuable in their chosen career.

Order this new book today! Go to www.maninthemirror.org or call 800-929-2536 and order one for yourself and several for your small group!

What Leaders Have to Say About Revival

Ask 10 people to define “revival” and you may get 10 different answers. We asked several leaders to share their thoughts and hopes about revival. Below are some of the responses we received. Participating were: Tom Cheshire, Businessmen in Christ (TC); Jim Angelakos, Man in the Mirror (JA); Jeff Kisiah, Harvest Community Church (JK); Bryan Davis, All-Pro Dads (BD); and Brian Doyle, Iron Sharpens Iron (BJD).

Q& A

How would you define “revival”? TC: A movement of Spirit-filled people seeking to advance the Kingdom with no regard to self-interest. JK: As the hymn writer does...”may each soul be REKINDLED with fire from above!” BD: A community recognizing God for who He is.

Q& A

What would revival mean to you personally? TC: Life [change] so radical that people either think you’re nuts or totally sold-out for Christ. JA: A deeper and more intimate relationship with the LORD JK: …more YIELDEDNESS to God

Q& A

What would revival mean to your church? BD: People would be captivated by the Word of God and could not stop living and talking about it. JA: Unashamed worship! JK: To become a church that is “PRESENCE-Driven,” allowing His thoughts to become our thoughts...

Q& A Q& A

What would revival mean to our country?

JK: To see repentance, humility and unity among God’s people that would foster a spiritual awakening JA: Wholesale repentance and brokenness. It will bring healing, at many levels. What does it take to experience a personal revival? JA: Brokenness, repentance and humility.

TC: Coming to the realization that without Christ you are helpless and lost forever, and crying out from our hearts for Christ to save us from ourselves.

BD: It is solely based on the grace of God, but He usually grants it by those who practice the spiritual disciplines.

continued on page 57

2010 Annual Summit Revives and Renews by Brett Clemmer . (re)introducing the church to men…and men to the church was the theme of our 2010 Annual Summit. Over 180 men’s leaders gathered in Orlando, Florida, on January 28-30 from 31 states and Canada to worship, learn and share. A complete review of the Summit is available at www.maninthemirrorsummit.org. Below are a few of the highlights: John Waller, singer/songwriter of While I’m Waiting from the movie Fireproof, shared his heart for Scripture and worship throughout the weekend as he sang his bestknown song, as well as some original and some well-known praise songs. Pat Morley and David Delk shared a brief history of the impact of Man in the Mirror since 1986, showing how the ministry has impacted over 10,000,000 people. Pat shared the new vision for Man in the Mirror: Helping Every Church Disciple Every Man; and our new BHAG (Big Holy Audacious Goal): 10,000,000 men leading powerful, transformed lives by 2020. David Delk unveiled the Journey to Biblical Manhood, our new men’s discipleship planning tool. This innovative new discipleship platform for churches takes men through ten modules (marriage, finances, fathering, work, etc.) to help them become Godly men. Keynote speaker Charles Cooper shared a powerful story of two men confronted with the gospel—one willing to submit his life to Christ, the other refusing. The ramifications of this decision were far-reaching in each man’s life. Coop reminded us that we must realize the impact of helping men follow Christ or risk being “stuck on stupid.”

of the 25 David Delk leads one ered. off ps ho different works

Attendees had 25 different workshops to choose from during sessions on Friday and Saturday. A special thank you to all the presenters. The fifth workshop session was turned into ad hoc round tables on topics requested by the attendees. Pat’s concluding presentation, A Road Map for Revival, spoke to men’s hearts. During the open sharing time, many attendees spoke of a renewed passion and rejuvenated spirit. We then had a powerful time as leaders gathered around pastors to pray for them. John Waller closed the event with the song that became the theme for the weekend, “Our God Reigns Here.” Save the date for next year—the Annual Summit returns on the last weekend in January!

10 10

Pastor Jeff “Coach K” Kisiah shares the impact Man in the Mi rror has had on the men of his church.

Equipping Your Men’s Small Group

Get all your men engaged in the regular study of God’s Word by using this magazine as a small group tool. At the end of each week’s devotions, you’ll see a box containing discussion questions and exercises. These can form the basis of your time together. These pages supplement those questions with additional steps.

If you

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this quarter you

will have:

ter Story imony and the Eas st te ur yo e ar sh ✔✔Committed to your life. is with someone in basis to see if God ily da a on es iti ior ✔✔Evaluated your pr life. number one in your live a life t it would mean to ha w t ou en tt ri w ✔✔Have lling . worthy of your ca u have been your life where yo of s ea ar e th ed ✔✔Recogniz d of God-reliant. self-reliant instea e and the between true lov ce en er ff di e th ✔✔Contemplated nce. Gospel of performa onicles 7:14. flected on 2 Chr re d an ed iz or em ✔✔M of revival on the tion of the impact rip sc de a en tt ri ✔✔W mmunity. lies, church and co lives of your fami guy about your ted with another ec nn co d an r fo ✔✔Prayed tation. key areas of temp pact they have leader for the im a to ion iat ec pr ap ✔✔Shown had on your life. spouse. unication with your mm co e iv ct fe ef ✔✔Discussed r proper discipline. t of guidelines fo lis a ed lop ve De ✔ ✔ n focused on with your childre e tim c ifi ec sp ✔✔Spent some . listening to them involved with sed ways to get us sc di d an ed st unity. ✔✔Li ur church or comm yo in ys bo g in or ment Continued on page 12

11 11

Small Group Guide continued from page 11

r 4/1–4/4: This week you read and reviewed the Easter Story and

the power it has had on your life. Suggested Application Step (SAS): Commit to sharing your story or testimony with someone in your life that needs to know the love that Jesus showed us through His death and resurrection.

r 4/5–4/11: These devotions focus on making our relation-

ship with God our first priority. SAS: This week, write down how much time you spend in prayer and devotions each day. Compare this to time spent working, reading, watching TV or surfing the Internet. Be prepared to share next week what this revealed about your priorities.

r 4/12–4/18: This week you will read about what it means to live a life worthy of your calling. SAS: Write down what it would mean for you to live a life worthy of your calling. Commit to reading what you wrote before you start each day this week. From last week: What did your time tracking reveal to you about your priorities?

r 4/19–4//25: Our devotional theme this week is about the differ-

ence between self-reliance and God-reliance. SAS: List areas of life that you have been able to rely on God and areas that you have been self-reliant. Pick one of those areas of self-reliance and begin praying for God to take control of that area of your life.

r 4/26–5/2: This week your men will consider the false concept of the

Gospel of performing in order to earn points with God. SAS: Think about what it would feel like if your children tried to “earn points” with you. How does that make you feel as their father? How would those actions change a true love relationship?

r 5/3–5/9: This week you’ll be contemplating the importance of repen-

tance and forgiveness. SAS: Memorize 2 Chronicles 7: 14. Meditate daily on the verses and ask God to search your heart for habits or sin in your life that you need to turn away from in true repentance.

r 5/10–5/16: These devotions focus on the power of true revival in the life

of an individual, church or community. SAS: Each man write a description of what revival would like in your family, church, community. Have everyone share one of their descriptions with the group. Spend time praying for revival in your families, church and community.

r 5/17–5/23: This week your men will look at four temptations that all

men face—idolatry, sexual temptation, controlling or testing God, and complaining. SAS: Have each man share which of these temptations they struggle with the most. Partner up and commit to praying for each other and connecting throughout the week to offer support.

r 5/24–5/30: This week you’ll learn more about biblical leadership and freedom In Christ. SAS: List the three most influential leaders in your life. Decide on a way to thank or show appreciation (a written note, phone call, a gift or some thoughtful word) for the impact that one of those leaders has had on your family, work or church.

r 5/31–6/6: These devotions focus on effective communication with

your spouse. SAS: This week ask your wife if you are a good listener. If the answer is yes, give thanks to God for the effective communication you and your wife are experiencing. If the answer is no, continue the conversation and be sure to “lead with your ears”.

r 6/7–6/13: This week you’ll be considering what it means to properly

discipline and nurture your children. SAS: Think back to a time of disciplining your children when you blew it and then a time when you might have done it right. Make a list for each time of what went wrong and what went right. As a group, make up a list of guidelines for proper discipline.

r 6/14–6/20: These devotions will help your group learn about listening

to and expressing love to your children. SAS: Set aside some specific time this week to spend with one of your children (whether a child or an adult) and make that time all about listening to them. When we meet next week, share one new thing you learned about that child during that time.

r 6/21–6/27: In the devotions this week, you’ll see the importance of mentoring. SAS: Make a list of opportunities for mentoring boys in our church and community. Discuss how we, as a group, could get involved in one of those opportunities. From last week: What one new thing did you learn about your child?

Use Equipping the Man in the Mirror for Your Small Group

•• Start with the group discussion questions at the end of each week of devotions. •• Use these two pages (12 and 13) to dig deeper with your small group. •• Looking for ideas for your small group? Check out the Books by the Box for men and women on page 32.

How to Use This Devotional

Included in every issue of Equipping the Man in the Mirror are devotionals for Mondays through Thursdays, and one for the weekends. To make the most of your reading we have dissected a devotional so you don’t miss any aspect of the magazine (see below).

Completion checkbox Source material

Correlating Scripture

One-year Bible daily reading

Discussion/ journal questions

Thursday—April 1 • A True Savior After supper he took another cup of wine and said, “This cup is the new covenant between God and his people—an agreement confirmed with my blood, which is poured out as a sacrifice for you. Luke 22:20 (nlt)

We’ve all seen it. A character in a book or TV show is captured, bound and tortured in an attempt to get him to tell his secrets. But the hero stands firm. He doesn’t reveal any clues that could cost others their lives. In the midst of possible death, he protects others by his silence. He is a type of savior. In the Old Testament animals were sacrificed to atone, or pay, for sins. Just as a crime deserves a penalty, so does sin. A lamb was killed to point out both the seriousness of sin and the need for a savior who would pay the penalty. That system still had a problem. Sacrificing animals did not have the long-term power to change people’s hearts. They kept on sinning. The true meaning of a Savior can only be found in Jesus Christ. God sent His Son to actually take the penalty in His own body that was meant for us—once and for all. Jesus was tortured and crucified to take our place and atone for our sins. He did it for you. He is the true Savior. MIMBS 1 Have you accepted the sacrifice Jesus made on your behalf? Does it mean much to you today that Jesus paid the penalty for your sins? Share your thoughts with another man. Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 18:1-20:20, Luke 9:28-50, Psalm 73:1-28, Proverbs 12:10

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—April 2, 3, 4 • He Took the Fall This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God. 1 John 4:9, 10 (The Message)

Suppose my friend Jim and I are walking to lunch and talking about what is going on in our lives. In the midst of our conversation, we step off the curb together and right in front of a delivery truck. Jim sees this; I do not. He pushes me over the curb into the grass, while he is hit by the oncoming truck and killed. Jim is obviously an amazing friend and that was a real sacrifice. I would probably consider Jim my savior. But there is more to the sacrifice that Jesus made on our behalf. As Jesus hung on that cross and died, He became the substitution for us. He took on our sins as His own. He was sinless and yet “became” our sin. This act separated Him from His Father. He was forsaken by God. Our sin would not allow Jesus to continue in His relationship with the Father in the same way. It’s not just that He felt forsaken; He really was momentarily forsaken-so that you and I would never have to be. Now that’s a Savior! Jesus’ sacrifice is also powerful because it means the difference between heaven and hell for us. We now have the opportunity to live forever with our loving God. The Bible describes hell with metaphors related to unquenchable fire, thirst and despair. Because of Jesus’ willingness to take our

place on the cross, we are promised a heavenly existence with no more crying or pain. Instead of an afterlife in agony we have been offered the glory of heaven! The worship song, Above All, by Michael W. Smith sums Jesus’ sacrifice up like this: Crucified, laid behind the stone. You lived to die, rejected and alone. Like a Rose trampled on the ground. You took the fall and thought of me. Above all. ©2001 Reunion

Can you think of someone you love for whom you would be willing to sacrifice your life? What kind of love does that take? Write a prayer of thanks to God for the love He has for you. Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 21:1-27:26, Luke 9:51-11:13, Psalm 74:1-76:12, Proverbs 12:11-17

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For April 1–4—Read Luke 22:26–46 aloud from an easy-to-understand translation of the Bible (ex. The Message, New Living Translation, or The Amplified version). •• What stands out to you in the story of Jesus’ crucifixion? •• What does it mean to you that Jesus was willing to go through torture and death to save you from your sin? Do you ever take it for granted? •• Is there someone you know who needs to hear the Easter story and what it means to you?

Monday—April 5 • Pure and Faultless Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

What does a right relationship with God look like? The verse above tells us that living out our Christianity in a way that is pleasing to God means serving others and keeping ourselves from being polluted by the world. It’s about seeking His kingdom and His righteousness, and loving Him with every ounce of our being. It’s about communing with God and sharing Him with the world. I remember an excursion a couple of years ago with my literary agent. We toured an exhibit of Monet paintings together. Because we didn’t have much time we ran through the exhibit like a couple of school boys. And as we were leaving I said, “I just

never want to lose what it feels like to be a kid.” A couple of weeks later, I had lost that feeling, and I wanted to get it back. If we’re honest, sometimes we don’t really care about orphans or widows; sometimes we allow the world to start creeping in and tainting our views. That’s when we need to pray and ask God to bring back that childlike faith we started with. MIMBS 2 How often does your love for God overflow into service? In what ways do you allow the world to pollute your child-like faith? Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 28:1-68, Luke 11:14-36, Psalm 77:1-20, Proverbs 12:18

Tuesday—April 6 • Doing the “Right Things”

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:1, 3 Whenever I’m feeling distant from God, my first inclination is to try and justify myself. “I’m reading my Bible, praying, tithing,” I say to myself. “Why don’t I feel more connected?” Then I rush to my email to check my Inbox. It’s as if I am relying on the success of my work projects—the majority of which I work out via email—to determine if I’m happy. You may have experienced the same thing—a nagging feeling that somehow you’re slipping away from God. You’re doing “the right things,” fulfilling your spiritual disciplines, but you don’t feel

like you’re getting through. I’ve been there! Then I ran across James 4. In The Message, Eugene Peterson paraphrases: “You’re spoiled children, each wanting your own way. You’re cheating on God. . . . flirting with the world . . . And do you suppose that God doesn’t care? The proverb has it that ‘he’s a fiercely jealous lover’” (James 4:3–6). That grabbed my attention. You see, when we feel ourselves slipping away from God, we often try to correct our course by increasing our righteous deeds. But God is a jealous lover who wants our time and attention. MIMBS 2 How do you try to correct your course when you feel yourself growing distant from God? Explain your answer to a few other men. Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 29:1-30:20, Luke 11:37-12:7, Psalm 78:1-31, Proverbs 12:19-20

Wednesday—April 7 • Relational Turbulence with God Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. . . . Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:7–8, 10

In a time of emotional pressure, I compiled a list of my stresses. Financial issues topped the list. I felt like Michelangelo, who once said, “Finding that the times are contrary to my art, I do not know if I have any further hope of salary.” My prospects for income had decreased greatly, and I was scrambling to sort that out. I also was dealing with scheduling issues. In short, I was too busy. I felt like I had been soaring with God, and then suddenly I hit major turbulence. When I compiled my list, I found I was holding onto God with one hand, while the other clasped a big duffel bag that was filled with all of my goals. I didn’t want to let go of God, but I didn’t want to let go of

my baggage either. James describes that as being “double-minded.” We can pack lots of stuff into our baggage—ambition or desire, reputation, control, health, money. Beware of anything that becomes such a priority that you can’t keep both hands on God. MIMBS 2 What does this mean to you: “Beware of anything that becomes such a priority that you can’t keep both hands on God?” Are you holding on to something with one hand and God with the other? Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 31:1-32:27, Luke 12:8-34, Psalm 78:32-55, Proverbs 12:21-23

Thursday—April 8 • “Break Me” . . . purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:8–9

As I’ve shared in previous devotionals, I needed to let go of things that were competing with God for my attention. I craved restoration in my relationship with God— not to get what I wanted, though I still wanted those things, but just to enjoy Him. I remember I wrote two words in my journal: “Break me.” I didn’t know what I needed to be broken from, but I knew I was stuck. Then I went and watched a program on TV that concluded with a song with just one word—Hallelujah. I went online to find the song, and I ended up finding eight of them. I played them over and over, and I heard a lyric written by Jeff Buckley in 1994. It was so haunting that I began to weep. It said,

“You used to speak to me, but now you don’t anymore.” I knew that was what I was missing. I fell on my knees, grieving and mourning, like it says in the passage above. And when I humbled myself before God, He lifted me up. MIMBS 2 When was the last time you were willing to allow God to break you? What might He need to do in your life today? Share your thoughts with members of your group. Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 32:28-52, Luke 12:35-59, Psalm 78:56-64, Proverbs 12:24

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—April 9, 10, 11 • Be Patient Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:7–8

We don’t go through the process of defining what is competing with God for our attention, then releasing it, simply to manipulate God to give us back the things we’ve let go. James warns, “You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures” (James 4:2–3). As I struggled with meeting some financial and time demands, I turned my attention away from God. When I released those things so I could cling to Him, my circumstances didn’t change immediately, but my attitude did. When you let go of something, you don’t always know how it’s going to turn out. You have to trust that God is good, and that whatever happens in your situation, He will make sure it works for your ultimate good. What do you do in the meantime? You wait patiently. The passage above describes a farmer who plants seed,

and then he waits for the crop to mature. Stay steady and wait expectantly on God. Perhaps you will want to pray this prayer with me: Dearest Father, I know that when something competes for the time and attention that You deserve, I need to let it go. No matter how valuable that thing is, Lord, it simply isn’t worth losing communion with You. Today I choose You. And I will wait, knowing that You’ve promised to renew and restore me, according to Your will. Thank You for the promise of Isaiah 40:31, that those who wait on You will renew their strength. I trust that I will soar on wings like eagles. I trust that I will run and not be weary. I will walk and not faint, all because of You. Amen. MIMBS 2 Where are you in this process? Is it time to pray the prayer above? Are you waiting for God to restore you? Or are you celebrating because you’ve already been restored? Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 33:1-Joshua 4:24, Luke 13:1-14:35, Psalm 78:65-80:19, Proverbs 12:25-28

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For April 5–11—Have someone read aloud the devotion for Tuesday, April 6 “What Is Blocking My Relationship with God?” •• What does it look like when we try to correct a distant relationship with God by “increasing our righteous deeds”? •• Have you ever tried that? Why doesn’t that work? •• When we feel a distance in our relationship with God, what should we do?

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Looking for a great resource for your small group? Order the book and DVD of A Man’s Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines for your men to study. Page 31

Monday—April 12 • All Creation Groans For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of children of God. Romans 8:20–21

I left my family when I was 18, and we did not reconnect until I was in my 30s. Then I began taking my father to lunch every year on his birthday. About five years into this, as we were leaving the restaurant, he headed toward his pickup and I toward my car. We happened to be parked side-by-side. I said, “Dad, I want to give you a hug.” As I hugged him, and he hugged me, he let out this primordial groan, “UhhhhnHHHNNNnnnhhnnn!” I had no idea what was going on, but by the time he stopped, I was bawling, and he was too. Through my tears I said, “I love you, Dad.” He replied, “I love you, too.” It seemed like my dad released decades

of frustration and separation in that one moment. Do you know what it’s like to carry a burden that makes you groan? Romans 8:22, the verse that follows the passage above, says that all of creation groans under a burden of futility, given by God as a tool to bring about liberation. MIMBS 3 Are there burdens you’ve been carrying for a long time? Are you willing to turn those burdens over to God and ask Him to set you free? Daily Reading: Joshua 5:1-7:15, Luke 15:1-32, Psalm 81:1-16, Proverbs 13:1

Tuesday—April 13 • God Cares About Your Work Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. Colossians 3:23–24

God sends us into our jobs because He wants us to liberate people from the difficulty and “groaning” that accompany living in a fallen world. In a book co-written with Bill Hendricks called Your Work Matters to God, Doug Sherman refers to a friend who owns a pallet company. Making pallets might not seem like an important job, but all kinds of goods are stacked on pallets for transportation purposes. This company supports the work of other people, including farmers, truck drivers and other transportation workers, grocery store employees, and consumers. “All of these people are doing something that’s extremely important,” the book explains—they’re meeting the needs of

my family and yours. “And by the way,” the book continues, “where are my friend’s pallets in all of this? Well, they’re underneath the boxes of citrus; underneath the cereal boxes; and underneath the dairy products. So my friend is integrally involved in making my world a better place.” Why does God call some men to be farmers and manufacturers, and others to make pallets? To help make this world a better place. To help take care of His children. MIMBS 3 How does your work make the world a better place for someone else? Daily Reading: Joshua 7:16-9:2, Luke 16:1-18, Psalm 82:1-8, Proverbs 13:2-3

Wednesday—April 14 • Worthy of Your Calling

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Ephesians 4:1 Whether you are a businessman or a minister, your basic calling from God is to live out the grace you have received, sharing it in the context of the people around you. And so, wherever you work, you are the representation of God’s character in that community. The 1998 movie Saving Private Ryan takes place during the Normandy invasion in World War II. This movie shows the tremendous sacrifice made by nine soldiers to save one man named James Ryan. Only two of the nine men survived. The last one to die,

named Miller, uttered these final words: “James, earn this. Earn it.” At the end of that film, many years later, Ryan stands with his wife at Miller’s gravesite, asking her to confirm that he’s led a good life, thus demonstrating that he was worthy of the sacrifice. This is what Paul is saying when he calls us to live a worthy life. Jesus died in order to save you. You can never “earn” what Jesus did for you. But, in gratitude, you can endeavor to live a life worthy of the calling made possible through Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf. MIMBS 3 Describe someone you know who has lived a life worthy of his calling from the Lord. Daily Reading: Joshua 9:3-10:43, Luke 16:1917:10, Psalm 83:1-18, Proverbs 13:4

Thursday—April 15 • “You’re In Charge Till I Get Back” Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. Matthew 25:14

This verse opens Jesus’ parable about a wealthy man who prepared for a trip by entrusting various amounts of property to three servants, according to their ability. He basically told them, “You’re in charge till I get back.” When he returned, he checked with the servants to determine how well they had managed his assets. Only one brought no profit, because he took no risks. In many ways, this reflects God’s expectation of His servants. He wants us to be responsible for His creation. He gives each of us different responsibilities, based on different levels of ability. Based on this parable, I think He’s asked us to take some risk. Tony Compolo’s book Who Switched the Price Tags? relates a sociological study featuring 50 people aged 95 and older. They

were asked, “If you could live your life again, what would you do differently?” A few answers dominated the results. One was “I would risk more,” and another was “I would do more things that would live on after I am dead.” Are you playing it safe with the gifts God has entrusted to you? What risks might be necessary for you to enhance your contribution to the Kingdom? MIMBS 3 Where have you been “playing it safe” in your Christian experience, or in your workplace? Is that an area where God wants you to allow for some risk? How will you go about that? Daily Reading: Joshua 11:1-12:24, Luke 17:1137, Psalm 84:1-12, Proverbs 13:5-6

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—April 16, 17, 18 Be Comfortable With Your Specific Calling Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. 1 Corinthians 7:17

Not everyone in the marketplace will own a business or be a CEO. We all need to find the niche that God has planned for us. For instance, Michael Novak’s book Business as a Calling notes that middle managers aren’t usually on a fast track up the corporate ladder. He explains that “realistically most middle managers expect some advancement over a lifetime, higher salaries and bonuses, and most of all, the everhigher respect of their peers.” But most will stay middle managers till they retire. Novak explains, “Middle management, many know early, is their calling; they want to be super good at it.” Responding to God’s call in the marketplace doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be the top guy. Discover your specific calling and get comfortable with it, unless God indicates you should move on. God calls many people to stay right where they are. That’s what He did with my friend Norm Miller, who went to work at Interstate Batteries almost 50 years ago, when he was just 24. He received Jesus as

his Lord and Savior about eight years later, and he said, “God, I will do anything you want me to do.” When I talked to him about that decision he said, “I didn’t know anything but batteries, so I just decided to stay there.” He did begin to rise in the company. In 1976, his company sold a million batteries for the first time. Thirty years later, they sold 14 million batteries in a single year. When I ran the math on that increase, I found an annual growth rate of 8.5 percent. That’s steady plodding over the long haul. You don’t have to be a superstar. You just have to stay focused and strive to be worthy of your calling. MIMBS 3 What is your calling? How do you know that? And are you comfortable with it? Share your thoughts with the men in your group. Daily Reading: Joshua 13:118:28, Luke 18:1-19:27, Psalm 85:1-87:7, Proverbs 13:7-11

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For April 12–18—On a large piece of paper or white board make a list of the various callings that the members of your group have. •• Did you have trouble determining your calling? •• Have you been able to pursue your calling? Why or why not? •• How is your work a part of your calling?

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Pat’s new book, A Man’s Guide to Work, will give you and your guys more insight into your calling. Check it out on page 30.

Monday—April 19 • Decisions Have Consequences There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. Proverbs 14:12

Life requires us to make choices, and every choice has a consequence—even refusing to make a decision. In effect, you are choosing for things to stay the same. Some decisions lead to gain, and others to loss. Sometimes the consequences are minor, and sometimes they are expensive. We think of that most often in terms of finances, but cost can be figured in many different ways. I remember a man who came to one of our Bible studies. He attended college at a military-style school. After graduation, his roommate Phil went to Vietnam, and four months later he was killed. Phil’s father was an executive in a big corporation. At the funeral, he came to my friend. “Are you who I think you are?” he asked. “Yes sir. I was

your son’s college roommate.” With tears rolling down his face, the executive replied, “Could you tell me about him? I never really knew him.” A lifetime of decisions by this father led him to a successful career and a fat wallet. But in the end, those decisions cost him the opportunity to know his son. May God give us wisdom to see the ramifications of our choices. MIMBS 4 Describe one of your decisions that ended up having consequences. Were they positive or negative? Daily Reading: Joshua 19:1-20:9, Luke 19:2848, Psalm 88:1-18, Proverbs 13:12-14

Tuesday—April 20 • Widespread Consequences

. . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . . But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15 Decisions have consequences in the lives has ever been divorced will tell you it’s not of individuals. But if you have enough indireally over—it’s just a different kind of bad viduals making the same bad decisions, the relationship. And it’s just too costly—for entire culture can suffer the consequences. you, for your wife, and for your children. For example, did you know that 40 perMIMBS 4 cent of U.S. children under the age of 18 do not live with their biological father? What consequences have you seen in our As a result, a 25-year study tracking chilculture as a result of many people making poor dren who grew up in broken homes found choices? that 40 percent of those children will never Daily Reading: Joshua 21:1marry. That’s compared to only 16 per22:20, Luke 20:1-26, Psalm cent of children from intact homes. 89:1-13, Proverbs 13:15-16 When you hear statistics, you know there’s a lot of pain and suffering just below the surface. If you’re thinking about divorce, don’t do that to your children. If your wife forces it upon you, you may not be able to avoid it. But if at all possible, please don’t go down that road. Anyone who

Wednesday—April 21 • Actions Have Consequences In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit. Judges 21:25

Judges 19 and 20 offer a mind-boggling story about poor decisions and the ensuing consequences. A Levite was traveling with his concubine. They stopped in a town called Gibeah, within the area where the tribe of Benjamin lived, accepting hospitality from a man who invited them to his home. The vile men of this city asked the man to send out the Levite, so they could have sex with him. Instead, the host sent his own daughter and the concubine, and the evil men raped them all night long. In the morning, the Levite found his concubine was dead. He took her body home, cut it up and sent parts to all 12 tribes of Israel, seeking help in bringing vengeance against the men of Gibeah. A total

of 400,000 men were mustered for battle, and about 65,000 of them died in the days of fighting. It is easy to forget the impact that one man’s decisions can have. Our own decisions may not result in 400,000 men going to war or 65,000 men dying, but they can have far greater consequences than we expect. MIMBS 4 What recent news story shows an individual or a group suffering because of someone else’s poor decisions? What similarities do you see to the story recorded above? Talk about this with a few other men. Daily Reading: Joshua 22:21-23:16, Luke 20:27-47, Psalm 89:14-37, Proverbs 13:17-19

Thursday—April 22 • Self-reliance vs. God-reliance The Israelites went up to Bethel and inquired of God. They said, “Who of us shall go first to fight against the Benjamites?” Judges 20:18

In the story including the verse above, the Israelites asked God about their plan. Good, right? They prayed before they went into battle. But notice—they didn’t ask if they should go, but instead, they asked who should go first. They didn’t ask God what they should do. Instead, they chose their course of action and then asked Him how they should accomplish it. This is why I get so terrified about making major decisions. It’s so easy to make this mistake. Here’s the big idea of this story: Never decide anything without first inquiring of the Lord. Sadly, most of us don’t do that, and I think I know why. We think we’re able to work things out pretty well without His help. We become self-reliant rather than God-reliant.

The Book of Judges repeatedly notes that Israel had no official leader, and the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes (see Judges 18:1, 19:1, 21:25). The people weren’t seeking God’s will or His wisdom. They weren’t asking Him for guidance— just His approval. The consequences of this approach were devastating. MIMBS 4 On a scale of 1–10, with 1 being “totally selfreliant” and 10 being “totally God-reliant,” what number would you assign to yourself? Explain your answer. Daily Reading: Joshua 24:1-33, Luke 21:1-28, Psalm 89:38-52, Proverbs 13:20-23

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—April 23, 24, 25 • Heart Check? Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

I’ve always been interested in the process of decision-making. You know, it’s not just non-believers who make costly decisions. Believers do it, too. In fact, I’ve made my own share of them. I once spent seven years working to get out of a financial debt I accrued through faulty assumptions that led to poor choices. So now, when I’m trying to make a decision, I start with a heart check. I check my motivations. I ask myself a series of questions, like these: •• How do I make decisions? •• Do I normally choose a course of action, and then ask God to bless it? •• If that is my habit, how can I tell if I’ve truly heard from God regarding this course of action? •• Who is my King in this situation—is it me, or is it Jesus? Proverbs 4:23 describes the priority we should place on keeping our hearts pure. “Above all else,” the wise Solomon wrote, “guard your heart.” Why? Because that priority sets the agenda for all of life, including our decisions—both the large and the small ones.

I believe that priority will require you to develop the habit of making prayer the first disposition of your heart in every situation. Scripture warns us repeatedly not to rely on our own wisdom. Cultivate a habit of seeking God’s desire in every circumstance. I can’t say I’ve achieved that yet, but it’s my goal, and I’m doing better than I used to. It takes a long time to move toward the point where prayer is your natural reaction. We also need to seek God’s wisdom by knowing His Word. Proverbs 29:18 tells us, “Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint.” Christianity is based on God’s revelation of Himself, and Scripture is our primary source for that revelation. Don’t make up your mind before you read the Word. It’s interesting—God’s Word sounds a lot different when you read it with an open mind and use it to “guard your heart,” rather than trying to make it fit your predetermined desires. MIMBS 4 Explain the importance of guarding your heart when it comes to making wise decisions. How will you achieve that? Daily Reading: Judges 1:1- 5:31, Luke 21:2922:53, Psalm 90:1-94:23, Proverbs 13:24-14:4

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For April 19–25—Read aloud the four questions from the devotional on this page. •• What are the biggest influences on your decision making? •• Do you ask God to direct you in your budgeting, purchasing large items, what to do with your free time, vacation options, etc? Why or why not? •• Are there areas of your life that you are reluctant to ask His direction in? Why is that?

Monday—April 26 • Seek Godly Counsel Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22

When it comes to making wise decisions, I’ve found it’s always helpful to seek guidance and counsel from godly and knowledgeable men. Throughout your Christian life, you will come across men who have made expensive decisions. Sometimes you’ll even find men who’ve made the same decisions you’re considering, and they can tell you about the results—good and bad. You’ll also find men who are strong prayer warriors, and men who have thoroughly studied God’s Word. And you’ll find men who have

expertise and knowledge related to the areas that are not specifically addressed in Scripture. The Proverbs frequently point out the wisdom available through an abundance of counselors. Don’t ignore this valuable resource in the process of making decisions. Wise counselors can help you avoid costly mistakes. Please pray with me: Father, I pray if I am on a road that’s leading to an expensive lesson, please stop me. As I commit to pray, to read Your Word, and to seek godly counsel, please speak clearly about the way I should go. In Jesus’ name, Amen. MIMBS 4 In your circle of acquaintances, list the people you would consider to be wise advisers. Daily Reading: Judges 6:1-40, Luke 22:5423:12, Psalm 95:1-96:13, Proverbs 14:5-6

q Tuesday—April 27 • What Are the “Rules” to Being a Christian? For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8–9 When a man becomes a Christian, it’s natural for him to want to know, “What do I need to do to please God? What are the rules in this new adventure?” Generally speaking, Christian men want those answers because they want to be successful. They really do want to please God. But the desire also plays into a separate issue, because men in our culture come from a performance system. They think, “If I can just figure out how I’m supposed to behave, what to do, what not to say, then I’ll be okay.” My dad joined a church with every intention of being a good Christian. He followed the rules. And when the church leadership found my dad was a hard worker, they put him to work. Dad very quickly became the

top layman in that congregation. No matter what he accomplished, the leadership always found something else to be done. In a church that emphasized pleasing God through performance, Dad burned out by the age of 40. Here are the rules of being a good Christian summarized by Jesus: Love God with everything you’ve got. Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself. It’s not about doing. It’s about being. MIMBS 5 Examine your heart. Do you believe God expects a certain level of performance or work from you before He fully accepts you? Share your thoughts with a few other men. Daily Reading: Judges 7:1-8:17, Luke 23:13-43, Psalm 97:1-98:9, Proverbs 14:7-8

Wednesday—April 28 • Traditions The Pharisees and some of the teachers of the law . . . gathered around Jesus and saw some of his disciples eating food with hands that were “unclean,” that is, unwashed. (The Pharisees and all the Jews do not eat unless they give their hands a ceremonial washing, holding to the tradition of the elders.) Mark 7:1–3

In Biblical times, Pharisees were among the most religious people of the day. These people really wanted to please God. In fact, they wanted so badly to obey the right rules, they created vast sets of traditions to explain and protect the commandments. They went so far as to develop the Babylonian Talmud, containing 33 books of commentary and regulations to surround God’s book. They basically developed a bureaucracy to help people please God— kind of like our government creating the IRS to “help” us pay our taxes. This is the group that challenged Jesus’ followers for not washing their hands before they ate. The Pharisees were trying to micromanage people’s lives, “helping”

the less learned among them to insure their obedience. Jesus called them hypocrites. “You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men,” He warned (Mark 7:8). The Pharisees were more concerned with the outward appearance of worship than with the inward evidence of true submission to God. God cares more about what’s in your heart than what someone thinks about what’s on your hands. MIMBS 5 What does this mean to you: “God cares more about what’s in your heart than what someone thinks about what’s on your hands”? Daily Reading: Judges 8:18-9:21, Luke 23:4424:12, Psalm 99:1-9, Proverbs 14:9-10

Thursday—April 29 • Deceptive Requirements See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. Colossians 2:8

When I was a young Christian, I heard that if I really loved God, I would get rid of all my rock music. Patsy and I talked about it, and we followed that advice. I gave up rock music for all of the 1970s and 80s, even halfway into the 1990s. I thought that would make God happy and would be a sign that I was a good Christian. Then one day I heard some music that my daughter was playing—it was a song by a rock musician of her generation. I liked it. After 25 years of self-denial, I got wrapped up in a muddled mess of regret. I started making the rounds, listening to and appreciating current performers and groups.

I figured out something important. Scripture includes a few major commandments. Outside of that, no one else can tell you God’s will for your life in any issue that is not specifically addressed in the Bible. A lot of us have been trying to live up to a list of regulations that didn’t come from God. All that will result in is a muddled mass of regret! MIMBS 5 Name one rule you’ve been trying to obey, because you thought it would be a sign that you are a good Christian. Is that a scriptural mandate, or is it man made? Daily Reading: Judges 9:22-10:18, Luke 24:1353, Psalm 100:1-5, Proverbs 14:11-12

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—April 30, May 1, 2 Trying to Earn Points? But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. Titus 3:4–5

Early in my Christian walk I absorbed the idea that, if I wanted to be a good Christian, I needed to obey rules, and I needed to work hard— work, work, work, work. If I did that, I thought, I would earn merit. No one ever expressed it exactly that way, but I definitely had the impression that if I wanted to be a “good boy,” I would perform. At the 14-year mark in my spiritual pilgrimage, I was in the middle of a terrible business crisis. I was writing a psalm—kind of a letter to God. Here’s what it said: “God, you know my heart. You know how I desire to love You with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I’m trying to be faithful with the money you’ve entrusted to me. I’m trying to be a good father to my children, and spend the right amount of time with them. You know all of the things I’m doing for the employees of our company. So, Lord, I’m asking for some help here.” Do you see what’s wrapped up in that thought process? It carries the idea that I have performed, and now God owes me something. That’s the Gospel of work. That’s the Gospel that says you earn points

and then trade them in for benefits. Thank God, He doesn’t think like I do. Instead of spanking me that morning, He said something very special to me. “Nothing you do will ever make you good enough for Me to love you. I love you because I made you.” Why not pray this prayer today? Father, please release me from any hint of a Gospel of performance. I don’t want to build my life and my relationship with You on the traditions of men. Help me understand and obey Your commands, through the power that You provide. But help me understand that my work does not lead to grace. Forgive me where I’ve been led astray, or where I’ve led others astray. And help me to understand deeply in my heart that nothing I do will ever make me good enough for You to love me. You love me because You made me. Amen. MIMBS 5 Have you been trying to earn points with God, so you can trade them for benefits? Explain your answer. Daily Reading: Judges 11:1-16:31, John 1:12:25, Psalm 101:1-103:22, Proverbs 14:13-19

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For April 26–May 2—Have your group discuss some of the things that they learned about the “Gospel of performance” from this week’s devotions. •• Have you been caught in the trap of trying to perform in order to earn points from God? •• Where did you learn this falsehood? (For example, human relationships, from the church, or some other source.) •• Why is trying to perform for God’s acceptance or approval so dangerous?

Monday—May 3 • True Heart Changes—True Life Changes Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record. Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in your laundry. Psalm 51:1, 2 (The Message)

In 1857 a recession began in America. A bank in New York City failed, railroads went bankrupt, land speculators lost all their money, and unemployment numbers spiked. Just four years later, the Civil War broke out, and by the time the war was over 620,000 Americans were dead. One might expect big changes to occur in the midst of crisis, and that can happen. But looking back at our country’s short history, crisis does not necessarily bring real change. Today our country is facing another difficult financial time with businesses going bankrupt, homes being foreclosed upon, double digit unemployment, etc. So, will change happen this time?

When God is ready to do something He puts that thought into the hearts and minds of His children. He challenges our thoughts, lifestyles and habits to open us up to seek His heart. He works in the lives of individuals to make changes in our hearts. True life changes are always the result of true heart changes. MIMBS 6 Has God touched your heart about areas that need His attention? What would it look like if you allowed God to make a change in that area? How would your life change? Daily Reading: Judges 17:1-18:31, John 3:1-21, Psalm 104:1-24, Proverbs 14:20-21

Tuesday—May 4 • An Authentic Life You’re the One I’ve violated, and you’ve seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil. You have all the facts before you; whatever you decide about me is fair. I’ve been out of step with you for a long time, in the wrong since before I was born. What you’re after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life. Psalm 51:4–6 (The Message)

King David was a man after God’s own heart. God would use him mightily in His kingdom and his lineage would produce the King of kings, Jesus Christ. David was also a man who sinned greatly in a very visible way. In Psalm 51, David gives great insight into his own status as a sinner—a sinner who was seeking a clean heart, a restored life and a deeper relationship with God. David recognized that sin separated him from God, that he could hide no sin from God, and that God was the only One that could truly change him. David knew that God was seeking truth—both inside and out.

He realized he couldn’t clean up his outside appearance and then fool God. What God wanted was for David to have an authentic life. Have you tried to fool people about your sin? I have. Like me, you’ve probably even had thoughts of fooling God about your sin. But as David reminds us, God knows the full extent of our evil and He has all the facts about us. Because of this, He can conceive in you and me “a new, true life.” MIMBS 6 How have you tried to fool people and God about your sin? Are you willing to surrender that sin to God today? Talk with a few other men about what this would look like. Daily Reading: Judges 19:1-20:48, John 3:224:3, Psalm 104:25-35, Proverbs 14:22-24

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Wednesday—May 5 • Listen, Forgive and Reward “When your people Israel are beaten by an enemy because they’ve sinned against you, but then turn to you and acknowledge your rule in prayers desperate and devout in this Temple, Listen from your home in heaven; forgive the sin of your people Israel, return them to the land you gave to them and their ancestors.” 2 Chronicles 6:24, 25 (The Message)

King Solomon opens this prayer to God in 2 Chronicles with the word “when.” He didn’t pray to God and say if Your people ever sin and turn against You. He knew that it was inevitable that God’s chosen people would sin and turn their backs on God. Sin is a part of every human’s life and every nation’s existence. Solomon made a request of God: “Listen from your home in heaven, forgive and reward us: reward each life and circumstance, For you know each life from the inside, (you’re the only one with such inside knowledge!), So they’ll live before you in lifelong reverence and believing obedience on this land you gave our ancestors” (2 Chronicles 6:30–31, The Message). In his wisdom, Solomon took for granted that people sin. He knew that God would admonish them—in this case, through a

military defeat. He asked God to listen, forgive and reward, if the people would repent. Let’s pray for the church, our nation, and ourselves that it will not take such a drastic measure to turn our hearts towards Him. MIMBS 6 When you failed or sinned as a child, what reaction did your parents have? Is that the same reaction you expect from God? How does Solomon’s prayer change your thinking about God’s reaction to your sin? Daily Reading: Judges 21:1Ruth 1:22, John 4:4-42, Psalm 105:1-15, Proverbs 14:25

Thursday—May 6 • Satisfaction Guaranteed So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:31-33 (nlt)

Just as Solomon knew that the nation of Israel would sin, parents know that kids are going to sin. Suppose your children play a video game that they know they are not allowed to play. They get caught and you take that video game away. They apologize and then ask to play the game again. Did they get the big picture? We can do the same thing with our sin. We get caught in our sin and we turn it over to God and ask for His forgiveness. He forgives us and then we go back to our sin. Do we get the big picture? No! God says humble yourself and turn from

your wicked ways and I will forgive you and heal your land. God wants us to be satisfied with nothing but Him. If you are seeking Him and are truly repentant, you will be happy and satisfied with Him. Your desire for your sin will gradually go away. Repentance involves a healing that can only come from Him. MIMBS 6 Have you experienced healing from your sin? What did that healing look like and how did your life change? Daily Reading: Ruth 2:1-4:22, John 4:43-54, Psalm 105:16-36, Proverbs 14:26-27

q Friday, Saturday, Sunday—May 7, 8, 9 • Revival Starts With One Man If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place. 2 Chronicles 7:14, 15 In 1857, when other churches were moving out of New York City, the North Dutch Church decided to remain. New York was in shambles and mobs of people had immigrated to the city. There were riots, gangs, weapons of every sort, crime on every corner, and the city was on the brink of catastrophe. The church hired Jeremiah Lanphier to be an urban missionary. He would call on people and pass out Bibles and tracts, hoping to have some impact or change on the environment around them. Jeremiah became very discouraged. Even though the city was in crisis, there was very little spiritual interest. In his discouragement he called out to God and pleaded, “What would you have me do?” He sensed that God was leading him to have a prayer meeting at noon at the church. On September 23, 1857, he held the first meeting and six people showed up to pray. They cried out to God in a 2 Chronicles 7:14 style. They prayed, sought God and repented and turned from their sinful ways. The next week they had another prayer meeting and 20 people showed up, and then 40 people. They were so encouraged they decided to have daily

prayer meetings. Soon groups were praying throughout the city. Businesses began shutting down to give people the opportunity to go and pray. At the height of this revival 50,000 people a week were coming to Christ. Over a million people came to Jesus Christ during this revival. A million people in 1857 would be like 10 million Americans coming to Christ in one year. It all happened because one man said, “Lord, what would you have me do?” The answer was 2 Chronicles 7:14. Revival occurred in New York because one man was open and willing to do what God wanted him to do. He was discouraged and needed revival in his own soul. God restored his soul and thousands of others were changed in the process. MIMBS 6 Are you willing to pray and seek God so that He would restore your soul? Spend some time in prayer, asking God to show you what He would have you do. In your small group, spend some time in prayer asking Him to show you how He would like to use your group in your church or community for His glory. Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 1:1-7:17, John 5:16:21, Psalm 105:37-106:31, Proverbs 14:28-33

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For May 3–9—From the devotion for May 7, 8, and 9, have someone share the story of Jeremiah Lanphier. •• What would you have been tempted to do if you were in Mr. Lanphier’s shoes? •• What have you done during times of discouragement with your family, job, church or country? •• What would change during those times if you were willing to ask the question, “Lord, what would you have me do?”

Monday—May 10 • A Real Solution for a Real Problem “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (nlt)

In my early twenties I had a Chevy Impala that started leaking water. After asking several people what to do, I took it to the dealer and had a new water pump installed. When I picked up the car, it still leaked water. I was irate. So I went back to the dealer and asked them why they didn’t fix the water pump. They said they had replaced the water pump, only to find out that the water pump was not the problem. Haven’t we have seen this same situation in our country recently? We spend money to “fix” banks, the auto industry, and to boost the economy. Government leaders are addressing healthcare, the environment, and Wall Street. But these efforts have

Tuesday—May 11 •

focused on solving the surface issues. The real problem is something much deeper. The outward signs of crisis really boil down to heart issues. When our happiness is based on Him alone—not, for example, on the size of our home, our status at work or the accomplishments of our kids—then He will use us in His plan for our communities and our nation. MIMBS 7 Do you believe that God has a plan for you? Have you been able to trust His plan during the struggles of life? Why or why not? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 8:1-9:27, John 6:2242, Psalm 106:32-48, Proverbs 14:34-35

Change Begins with Me

So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. 2 Corinthians 4:16a (The Message) Change in any relationship can only happen by our willingness to change ourselves. Although we might like to change our spouse, our coworker or our neighbor, we just don’t have that capability. No matter how much we hint or tell others of their need for change, nothing will happen unless they desire that change. In the midst of crisis, it’s easy to look for someone to blame, but none of that blame results in change. In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, what impacted that region the most were those who asked themselves, “What can I do to help?” These were people who didn’t wait for the government or relief organizations to act, but gathered the resources of

their families, churches and communities and made their way to Louisiana to help feed and clothe those in need. Frankly, it was a shining moment for the church. Our country faces many struggles that need solutions. Our only real option is to ask God what we can do and how He would like to work in our hearts. Are you willing to ask God this question, “What do You want to do in my life?” MIMBS 7 Are you afraid to ask God, “What do You want to do in my life?” Pray with some brothers that God would reveal how to use you to impact your community for His sake. Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 10:1-11:15, John 6:43-71, Psalm 107:1-43, Proverbs 15:1-3

Wednesday—May 12 •

What Is Wrong with the World?

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 (nlt) A long time ago, a newspaper article asked the question: “What is wrong with the world?” A great thinker, G. K. Chesterton, wrote this profound response:

Dea r Sirs, I am.

Sin cerely Yours,

G. K. Ches terton

We are so quick to blame television, politics, and the Internet for the state of our society. We love to read about the lives of celebrities, the immorality of elected officials or the collapse of banks. Those headlines are so mesmerizing because they

Thursday—May 13 •

allow us to focus on anything but our own lives, our own problems and our own sin. Instead of placing blame for our struggles on something or someone, we need to spend time with the Lord and allow Him to search our hearts and make the changes He needs to make. Are there problems in our society? Of course. But if things are to change, the change must start with me. MIMBS 7 When you think about what’s happening in our country, who do you tend to blame? How can you shift your thinking to allow God to examine your heart for needed changes? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 12:1-13:23, John 7:130, Psalm 108:1-13, Proverbs 15:4

Right Relationships

So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:18 (nlt) I believe that any crisis—economic, health or personal—gives God the opportunity to bring us into right relationship with Him and right relationship with each other. When dealing with a crisis, you might start by asking yourself these two questions: 1) Am I in right relationship with God? We are to bring ourselves into the presence of the living God and humble ourselves before Him in prayer. If we are able to do this, He will meet us there. He will forgive and heal us. 2) Am I in right relationship with others? We need to humbly address our relationships with our spouse, children, family and coworkers. We must open our hearts to repair fractured or painful issues with those we love.

Be faithful and humble in asking God to meet us with the answers to these two questions. When we realize that God is using a particular situation to speak into these two areas of our lives, we can better see the purpose of a struggle. As men, when we know why we are going though something, it helps us trust God to bring us through it. MIMBS 7 Find a brother or group to go through these two questions with. Spend some time in prayer for the struggles you have shared in your answers. Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 14:1-52, John 7:3153, Psalm 109:1-31, Proverbs 15:5-7

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—May 14, 15, 16 In the Name of Christ, STOP! Speak up for the people who have no voice, for the rights of all the down-andouters. Speak out for justice! Stand up for the poor and destitute! Proverbs 31:8 (The Message)

The ancient historian Theodoret tells the story of a monk named Telemachus who lived in 5th century Asia. He felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit to go to Rome. He tried to go about his daily chores and tasks but he could ignore the prompting no longer. He packed his things and went to Rome. He arrived in the middle of the Roman Circus and there was excitement over the gladiators fighting at the Coliseum. Telemachus had never heard of gladiator fights but felt he was supposed to join the throngs of people in the Coliseum. As this spectacle unfolded and the fighting began, Telemachus stood up and said, “In the name of Christ, STOP!” Only a few people heard him and they laughed and ridiculed him. He worked his way down to the floor of the Coliseum and as two gladiators were coming at each other he ran between them and said, “In the name of Christ, STOP!” They jeered and taunted the gladiators to run him through. He said it again, “In the name of Christ, STOP!” One of the gladiators took his sword and killed

the monk in front of all the people. A few people at the top of the Coliseum got up and left, then more, and a few more. The Coliseum emptied that day and that was the last time a gladiator fight was conducted in the Roman Coliseum. All because one man answered the call. Telemachus didn’t know what the outcome of his trip to Rome would be. He didn’t know he would die or that the gladiator fights in the coliseum would cease. He heard the prompting of the Holy Spirit and just knew he had to be faithful to do it. You can’t know what the outcome will be when God asks you to do something; you only know that you are called to be faithful. MIMBS 7 Why does a story like Telemachus’ stir a man’s heart? Can you think of a time in your life when you wish you would have had the boldness of Telemachus? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 15:1-19:24, John 8:159, Psalm 110:1-112:10, Proverbs 15:8-14

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For May 10–16—Share these definitions with the group: Repentance—turning from sin with the intention to worship God alone; Revival—an awakening in a church or community. •• Have you experienced either one of these descriptions? •• If you experienced repentance or revival, how did you recognize that? What were the outward signs of those experiences? •• Is repentance or revival a one-time event? Why or why not?

Monday—May 17 • No Idols Before God God spoke to Moses, “Go! Get down there! Your people whom you brought up from the land of Egypt have fallen to pieces. In no time at all they’ve turned away from the way I commanded them: They made a molten calf and worshiped it. Exodus 32:7 (The Message)

In the Old Testament the Israelites were impatient for their leader, Moses, to return from Mount Sinai. They felt the “need” for a god or idol to lead them. So they built a golden calf and had a time of worship that emulated a pagan ceremony. When Moses returned from the mountain, he was angry with the people because they did not trust in the one, true God, and he destroyed the golden calf. Sometimes we scoff at the people of Israel. We cannot imagine ourselves participating in that kind of activity. But idolatry can be

very subtle. Idolatry begins when we set our heart, desire and affection on something other than Christ. It is that thing we believe we need—this reputation or that experience, this achievement or that possession. Anytime that something becomes more important than Christ, that’s when we enter into idolatry. God does not want a golden calf, a great job, fame or anything else to stand between you and Him. There shall be no other gods before Him. MIMBS 8 Has there been a time where you relied on something other than God to make you happy? What was it? Are there any idols standing between you and God today? Share your thoughts with a few other men. Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 20:1-21:15, John 9:141, Psalm 113:1-114:8, Proverbs 15:15-17

Tuesday—May 18 • God Can’t Be Controlled Nor should we put Christ to the test, as some of them did and then died from snakebites. 1 Corinthians 10:9 (nlt)

If you have read or seen The Chronicles of Narnia, you may remember this quote describing the lion, Aslan, “Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.” We are tempted to believe that God is safe. We try to control or test Him. We might say to God, “I’m going to live my life the right way. I am going to obey Your rules. I’m going to be a good family man. I am going to go to church. Now, I need You to deliver on Your end of the bargain.” We presume that God is going to treat us a certain way because we’ve earned it or deserve it. What we have done is made God our servant rather than us being His servant. We get the whole thing turned upside down.

The reality is that God doesn’t behave the way we want Him to. We cannot predict when someone will live through an illness or die in a car accident, if someone will have a miraculous healing or God will take them to heaven. God is good and we have to trust Him. He’s the King. MIMBS 8 Can you think of a time when you thought you knew how God would work something out and it didn’t go your way? How did that change your view of God? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 22:1-23:29, John 10:1-21, Psalm 115:1-18, Proverbs 15:18-19

Wednesday—May 19 • The Temptation of Sexual Immorality As the Scriptures say, “The people celebrated with feasting and drinking, and they indulged in pagan revelry. And we must not engage in sexual immorality as some of them did, causing 23,000 of them to die in one day.” 1 Corinthians 10:7b, 8 (nlt)

We live in a sex-saturated culture where you can access magazines, Internet sites or TV shows to feed any desire. We all know people who struggle with pornography or have been involved in adultery. This is not a new problem. Men have struggled with sexual immorality for generations because it is an issue that starts in the heart. We think we can hide it. But we regularly see pastors, politicians, even our friends’ lives fall apart because their “secret” is exposed. There is a set of consequences that inevitably comes to the surface if you are ensnared in something like pornography.

To avoid the temptation of sexual immorality, we must guard our hearts and minds. Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:8 (The Message), “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.” MIMBS 8 With your small group or a friend, make a list of things that meet the Philippians 4 criteria. Why is sex so often an area where men get off track? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 24:1-25:44, John 10:22-42, Psalm 116:1-19, Proverbs 15:20-21

Thursday—May 20 • Stop Your Complaining Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Philippians 2:14 (The Message)

Have you ever shared an office space or perhaps a college dorm room with a grumbler or complainer? No matter what comes up, they have nothing good to say. If it’s a beautiful, sunny day, it is too bright or too hot for them. The Israelites in the wilderness definitely had this problem. No matter what God did for them, it wasn’t good enough. Sometimes we think, “How could they be that dumb”? But, then we look at our own hearts, and we get it because we do the same thing. As soon as God lets us down or something doesn’t go our way, then the complaining and grumbling begin. It begins in our heart. It starts when we say, “God, I know better than You how my life should

be. I know better than You what’s going to make me happy. I know better than You.” Are you a complainer? Sometimes we fall into a bad habit when we take God for granted. Trusting God is a daily choice you must make. And once you’ve made it, you will likely find your perspective, and your attitude, will improve dramatically. MIMBS 8 Take note this week to see how much you complain about situations. How do your complaints relate to trusting God for the outcome? Daily Reading:1 Samuel 26:1-28:25, John 11:154, Psalm 117:1-2, Proverbs 15:22-23

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—May 21, 22, 23 Low Pressure of the Heart I’m thanking you, God, from a full heart, I’m writing the book on your wonders. I’m whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy; I’m singing your song, High God. Psalm 9:1 (The Message)

If you live in Florida for any length of time, you will experience a hurricane. One of the reasons a hurricane starts is because a low pressure area develops with thunderstorms that are able to rise vertically without being blown away. Then all of a sudden wind starts rushing into that low pressure. Because of the motion of the earth and the cyclonic effect, that wind starts to spin and eventually a hurricane develops. If the low pressure was not present the wind would not come rushing in toward the center. So, for a hurricane, the lower the pressure in the center, the stronger the winds. Our heart is like a low pressure area. It is constantly looking for something to come rushing in and fill it.

All of the temptations we have discussed in this week’s devotions reveal the low pressure of our hearts and the longing to fill that low pressure. Idolatry, sexual immorality, testing or controlling God, and even complaining can reveal the void in our hearts. Every day our hearts reach out and things start rushing in. But you know what? None of these things can really satisfy. Our hearts constantly ache for something that will help life make sense. But we can only find a whole heart, a healed heart, through Jesus Christ. A love for God, a desire for His glory, and a desire to join Him in what He is doing—that’s how we deal with these temptations that we face and the low pressure of the heart. Why? Because our hearts were created to be filled with Him. MIMBS 8 How have you tried to fill the low pressure of your heart? Discuss with your group the ways you have all tried to fill the void. How might God meet the needs of your heart on a daily basis? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 29:1-3:39, John 11:5513:30, Psalm 118:1-119:16, Proverbs 15:24-30

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For May 17–23—From the devotionals this week, what are four temptations that men face? •• Are you able to relate to any or all of those temptations? •• Which of these seems to be the easiest for you to fall into? •• What have you learned about these temptations from your reading this week?

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Monday—May 24 • It Takes All Types Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith. Hebrews 13:7 (nlt)

I grew up in a family that was not very verbal. I don’t recall getting encouragement or discouragement about becoming a man or a leader. Even though I always had a desire to do things that leaders do, I never felt comfortable having people refer to me as a leader until I was well into my 40s. By contrast, when my son filled out his college application, he was asked to describe himself. For his answer to that question, he wrote the words, “quiet leader.” I was pretty impressed with that and asked him, “Where did you get this from?” He said, “I just made it up.” God uses natural leaders and reluctant leaders to accomplish His work and change peoples’ lives. Whether you are a teenager or a forty-year-old, you should

know that God wants you to be a leader. He needs leaders of all types to lead all types of people. Are you willing to be the leader God wants you to be? MIMBS 9 Do you consider yourself a leader? Why or why not? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 4:1-6:23, John 13:3114:14, Psalm 119:17-32, Proverbs 15:31-32

Tuesday—May 25 • Me, a Leader? Moses answered God, “But why me? What makes you think that I could ever go to Pharaoh and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt? Exodus 3:11 (The Message)

You may be thinking, “I am not a leader.” Any man who wants to be a leader can be. Leaders are those who influence others. Leaders inspire people to work together. Moses thought he couldn’t be a leader to the people of Israel. He was not an eloquent speaker and felt he was inadequate. But God was not interested in Moses’ abilities; He was only interested in his heart. If you have a family, then you have a leadership role. Perhaps you are a manager and you have a few people who report to you. If you teach a Sunday school class or coach a soccer team, you are a leader. Not only do you need to manage those people, but you

need to be able to lead those people. God will use some of us to lead large groups of people or churches. He will call others to govern states, corporations or countries. Most of us will not be charged with such massive responsibilities, but we all have the responsibility to lead. So repeat after me, “I am a leader.” MIMBS 9 List the areas of your life where you are a leader. In each area, give your leadership a letter grade. What area could use the most improvement? In what way? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 7:1-8:18, John 14:1531, Psalm 119:33-48, Proverbs 15:33

Wednesday—May 26 • God’s Priorities for Your Life Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Matthew 28:19 (nlt)

When I was a young businessman I wanted to do something great for God. I didn’t know what that was and I was looking for direction. I heard a great man of God say these words, “I try to prioritize everything I do in life according to the great commission.” I felt a bolt of lightning go right through my body. I was riveted by his words. I said to myself, “That’s it! It’s all about the greater good of the gospel; that’s how I will prioritize my life. I will make my decisions and I will choose my way on the basis of what’s going to constitute the greater good of the gospel.”

Think about your daily schedule—wake up, exercise, eat breakfast, work, eat lunch, work, go to your son’s soccer game, eat dinner, do the dishes, help with your kids’ homework, watch a little TV, go to bed. Your schedule, attitude and decisions might change if they were all weighed against the greater good of the gospel. Many of us think we have to go to Africa to serve Him. But He wants to use you in your everyday life to spread the gospel and share His love. Make His priorities your priorities! MIMBS 9 With your small group, discuss ways that you can prioritize your lives for the gospel’s great commission and how you can help each other in that pursuit. Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 9:1-11:27, John 15:127, Psalm 119:49-64, Proverbs 16:1-3

Thursday—May 27 • Freedom You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. Galatians 5:13

“Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!” That is the final line of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech. The words spoke volumes in the midst of the Civil Rights Movement. In Christ, we have real, true freedom. We don’t live under the curse of the law. But this freedom should be used for good. The apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:21, “To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law.” We see a man who voluntarily gives up his rights and surrenders his

freedom for the greater good of the gospel. The reason that he could give up his freedom and his rights is because he had received a calling from God to do something to advance Christ’s kingdom. We have all received a calling to advance the gospel of Jesus, to advance the kingdom, to work for the greater good of the gospel in everything. MIMBS 9 What does it take to have complete freedom and give it up for the good of another person or belief? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 12:1-31, John 16:1-33, Psalm 119:65-80, Proverbs 16:4-5

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—May 28, 29, 30 • To Live Is Christ

Alive, I’m Christ’s messenger; dead, I’m his bounty. Life versus even more life! I can’t lose. Philippians 1:21 (The Message) The other night I was watching the 1990 movie, Navy SEALS. It is an action-packed movie showcasing the skills of the highly trained naval attack unit. In one scene, a helicopter had been downed, and the survivors were taken prisoner and transported to a foreign country. The Navy SEALS were called in to rescue them. After a blazing gun-battle and the appropriate number of deaths and body parts, the rescued group was finally on the transport plane heading back to the United States. One of the downed helicopter pilots says to the SEALS leader, “Thank you, Lieutenant, for saving our lives. Thank you!” The Lieutenant looks at him and says, “There is no need to thank us because we don’t exist. This never happened. You never saw us.” The SEALS’ assignment had nothing to do with their glory. They had been trained to execute a mission for the greater good of someone or something other than themselves. We are given the same opportunity as those Navy SEALS. We are called to share God’s salvation with all men and it has nothing to do with us. We, as messengers of the gospel, deliver the good news to those in need of God’s grace and mercy. The goal

of our message is to introduce them to our Lord and Savior and to shine the spotlight on all He has done for us. It is not for our glory, it is all about the glory of God. Paul reminds us of this goal in Philippians 1:21 (nlt), “For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better.” Living for Christ means that we have accepted His love and allowed it to penetrate our lives so much that we cannot resist loving Him and sharing His love with others. And we are willing to prioritize our lives for the greater good of sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. MIMBS 9 Who shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with you? What was it about their story or testimony that spoke to you about the love of God? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 13:1-16:23, John 17:119:22, Psalm 119:81-128, Proverbs 16:6-11

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For May 24–30—Make a list on a large piece of paper or whiteboard of all of the leaders your group can name. •• What do these people have in common? How are they different? •• What one characteristic stands out most to you about this group of leaders? •• Which leaders have impacted your life? In what ways?

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Monday—May 31 • Effective Communication

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45 In business, if you want to compliment a man, you say he gets things done. How does he do that? Well, he works hard, and usually he’s articulate. He listens, and he responds clearly in conversation. He’s an effective communicator, even in situations that require conflict resolution. But even people who don’t think they are good communicators find they can talk about something that is interesting to them. I have three brothers. The youngest, named Bill, is very quiet. His personality does not drive him to compete for attention. But several years ago he developed an interest in aviation. He bought a small plane and flew to California and back. Suddenly he began

talking a lot about his new area of interest. Even the quietest person can become an effective communicator, if he focuses on the things that interest him. The scripture above applies that principle to all types of communication—good and bad. What’s in our hearts, the Scripture says, will eventually come bubbling out of our mouths. MIMBS 10 Think about your conversations in the last 24 hours. How have they reflected what is in your heart? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 17:1-29, John 19:2342, Psalm 119:129-152, Proverbs 16:12-13

Tuesday—June 1 • Exploring Other People’s Interests

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:19–20 Let’s say you go to a business appointment, and you’re trying to build a relationship. So you say, “What do you do in your spare time?” And the guy sitting across the table from you says, “Well, I love the ballet.” You’re probably thinking, “What?” But you say, “That’s fascinating. Tell me more.” If this man really is interested in ballet, you probably are going to get an explanation of the intricacies of ballet. You might be doing everything possible to keep your eyelids from closing, and yet for a business appointment, you will invest time in building a relationship by allowing that man to communicate about the thing that holds his interest. The Book of James notes, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” We readily act

on that in a business setting, when we are trying to build a relationship for the purpose of making a deal. Are you as willing to invest time listening in the other areas of your life as you are in your work? In the process of building and maintaining relationships—with our families, neighbors and brothers—time spent listening will yield great rewards. MIMBS 10 Think about your last true conversation. Was it related to business, or was it personal? How much time did you spend? And what percentage of that time did you invest in listening? Ask a few other men their honest opinion of you as a listener. Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 18:1-19:10, John 20:131, Psalm 119:153-176, Proverbs 16:14-15

Wednesday—June 2 • Consider Your Wife’s Interests Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3–4

These verses describe actions of humility. In context, they refer to choices that benefit others and not just ourselves. In the business world, we often build relationships by paying attention to other people’s chosen activities. We may be less likely to do that at home. If you really want to build your relationship with your wife, don’t dismiss her interests as unimportant. Give her the respect of listening to her. This has been a big area of struggle for me. My love language is quality time. I want to spend every moment possible with Patsy. The problem is we don’t like the same things. I’ve had to intentionally choose not to put unrealistic demands on her, requiring her to be interested in my hobbies. And

I’ve had to learn to explore her interests. If you want to communicate confidently with your wife, and you want to have a better relationship, I challenge you to discover and participate in the things that are important to her. MIMBS 10 What are the three activities that your wife most enjoys? When is the last time you participated in one of those activities with her? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 19:11-20:13, John 21:1-25, Psalm 120:1-7, Proverbs 16:16-17

q Thursday—June 3 • Men and Women Communicate Differently Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7 Several years ago, at a Man in the Mirror faculty conference, we decided to use bumper cars as a team-building activity. Even the most mild-mannered men attacked me with the cunning of coyotes. I ended up with huge bruises on my hips and shins. When someone shattered the lens on my pocket PC, six men took credit. Now, a couple of weeks previously, I went to check this place out. The only people there were a couple of high school girls. I kept bumping them. I wanted them to speed up or get out of the way! Instead of bumping me back, they simply motioned for me to go ahead of them. Looking back, I realize our communication styles were somewhat different.

Generally speaking, men transfer information, while women express feelings. If you want to grow your relationship with your wife, don’t shut down her opportunity to unburden her heart through communication. Try this. Ask your wife to tell you about her day. When she stops just say, “Go on.” And then, keep listening. MIMBS 10 Describe a recent situation that shows how you and your wife communicate differently. If you could relive that situation, would you respond in the same way, or would you change your response? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 20:14-21:22, Acts 1:126, Psalm 121:1-8, Proverbs 16:18

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—June 4, 5, 6 Be a Consoler, Rather than a Consultant

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Romans 12:15–16a Everyone has burdens, and frankly, we all need people with whom we can share those burdens. When someone comes to talk to you about a burden, set your mind to listen without giving advice. The verse above says we should rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn. It doesn’t say we should advise those at either end of the spectrum. People shut down when they hear unwanted advice. And when they hear it repeatedly, they simply quit sharing. That’s true for your wife and every other person. With regard to burdens, try to listen without dispensing your opinion. Remember, communication isn’t all verbal. You may think it’s a small thing, but your body language can express unconditional love and acceptance. It can communicate that you want to be with this person, and you intend to walk with them through their burdens, rather than simply advising and leaving. Sometimes, even with the best communication skills we may still run into conflict. There are two dysfunctional responses to conflict: anger and withdrawal.

Neither brings resolution because both interfere with effective communication. Certainly, you may need to delay communication until tempers cool. But Paul Tournier reminds us that a lack of complete frankness is the greatest problem in communication. Over a period of years, he explains, certain areas of your life will become “off limits” for discussion, because you and/or your wife anticipate a negative response. So whole areas of your relationship will become dysfunctional, because your relationship lacks openness and honesty. Proverbs 16:13 notes, “Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth.” If husbands and wives are wise, they also will take pleasure in honest lips, as long as those lips speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). MIMBS 10 How can you find the balance between being a consoler rather than a consultant, and “speaking the truth in love” in times of conflict? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 22:11 Kings 1:53, Acts 2:1-4:37, Psalm 122:1-124:8, Proverbs 16:19-24

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For May 31–June 6—Read aloud this verse to the group: “Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear” James 1:19 (The Message). •• What does it mean to “lead with your ears”? Have you mastered that skill? •• Is there a time when you have led with your tongue or anger, instead of your ears? •• When you are angry, are you able to let it “straggle along in the rear”? Why is it so difficult to accomplish that?

Monday—June 7 • Don’t Get Personal with Criticism Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37

In any relationship, if you are going to pursue honest communication, you may have to discuss uncomfortable things. The attitude with which you approach those topics will have incredible bearing on the result of your discussion. I encourage men not to make “you” statements, because they always appear to be criticisms. Don’t say to your wife, “You don’t keep a very clean house.” Or, “You drive too fast.” That kind of statement is accusatory. If you’re hoping for an honest discussion that leads to resolution, that’s probably not a good place to start. Instead, to initiate conversation about something that’s bothering you, consider saying, “When the house is messy, I feel depressed and uncomfortable.” Or, “When

I think I see you driving too fast, it makes me concerned for your safety.” That kind of statement can open communication and bring resolution, where criticism will shut everything down. God has given each of us the ability to communicate. But we need to train ourselves to use that gift to its greatest potential. MIMBS 10 Think of a recent confrontation that resulted from a conversation you initiated. Give an honest analysis of your goal in bringing up that topic. Did you achieve your goal? And if not, how would you restate your opening statement to better insure achieving your goal? Daily Reading: 1 Kings 2:1-3:2, Acts 5:1-42, Psalm 125:1-5, Proverbs 16:25

Tuesday—June 8 • Respond Thoughtfully to Conflict Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. Ephesians 6:25-27 (The Message)

If you allow room for authentic, honest communication in your relationships, you undoubtedly will find situations that require you to listen carefully and respond humbly and thoughtfully to someone else’s concern. I work with a man who was giving long hours to his business. He told me he called home one night and said, “Honey, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to be out of town for three nights. I’m coming home to pack a bag, and then I’m going to have to leave.” She responded, “Oh, that’s okay. It’s really easier when you’re gone. At least I don’t have to worry about what time you’re coming home.” She said this matter-of-factly and without

rancor. But it was his wake-up call. He had a choice as to how to respond. Instead of getting angry or withdrawing, he chose to schedule time for an honest discussion with his wife. Based on that conversation, he rearranged his schedule and his priorities. Today he would say that conversation saved his marriage. I encourage you—after God, make your wife your top priority. And learn how to communicate that to her. MIMBS 10 What is your top priority after God? How have you communicated that? Daily Reading: 1 Kings 3:3-4:34, Acts 6:1-15, Psalm 126:1-6, Proverbs 16:26-27

Wednesday—June 9 • Insuring Your Child’s Future

My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. . . . For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life. Proverbs 6:20, 23 Many years ago, I saw a news story that compared the most difficult problems in American schools in 1940 and in 1980. In 1940, teachers noted problems like talking out of turn, chewing gum, and littering. Forty years later, the list was very different: drug and alcohol abuse, pregnancy, suicide, rape, robbery and assault. Thirty years later, most of us would agree that our culture has degraded even more. I recently showed my wife a USA Today article about a new suggestive dancing craze that some called “standing sex.” She simply said, “Our kids would never do that.” And frankly, I hadn’t even considered the possibility.

I was so convinced they wouldn’t, because we were so involved in their lives. You see, if you want your kids to make good choices, you have to invest time in daily discipline and teaching. I am convinced that the solution to many problems kids are facing today would be parents simply spending more time with them. MIMBS 11 How important is it to you to insure that your child, or a child you care about, will love and honor God? How is that priority revealed in your daily life? Daily Reading: 1 Kings 5:1-6:38, Acts 7:1-29, Psalm 127:1-5, Proverbs 16:28-30

q Thursday—June 10 • Setting Boundaries, Shaping Character, and Nurturing The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. Proverbs 29:15 This verse describes what happens to a child that is “left to himself.” Essentially, in the original language, this phrase means to be set off or put away. It can even refer to a divorce. It literally means there is a separation between father and child. This verse also refers to “the rod of correction.” In the original language, this refers to some sort of check in behavior that comes through discipline. Proper discipline does at least three things for a child: •• It sets positive boundaries. •• It shapes character. •• It nurtures a child, preparing him for a positive future. If you’ve ever tried to grow a bougainvillea vine, you’ve seen these principles in action. With this vine, you create a

structure—maybe a trellis—that supports the plant and trains it to grow properly. That’s like setting boundaries. You also trim the wayward shoots and excess growth from the vine. That’s like shaping character. And then you provide water and fertilizer. That’s like nurturing. All three steps are necessary for growing bougainvilleas, and all three are necessary for raising strong children. MIMBS 11 How have you seen these three characteristics of positive discipline—boundaries, character and nurturing—either in how you were raised, or in how you are raising your own children? Talk about this with some other men. Daily Reading: 1 Kings 7:1-51, Acts 7:30-50, Psalm 128:1-6, Proverbs 16:31-33

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—June 11, 12, 13 Practical Ways to Nurture Your Children So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12

Most of us would like to believe we live according to the “Golden Rule”: Treat others as you’d like to be treated. The verse above even says that kind of attitude and behavior summarizes the requirements of Scripture. Jesus basically said, “Everything I’m teaching you is encapsulated in this one statement.” As adults, we generally try to apply this, at least with our peers. We try to treat other adults in a positive manner. We know that’s what is expected in our culture. But on a regular basis, I see parents violating this principle with their children. I’m sure you know what I mean. Just review a recent visit to a grocery store. Parents talk to their children with a tone of derision and disgust, in a way that would cause embarrassment if they used the same words and tone with another adult. You can count on one thing—at least in that instance, those adults have withered the soul of their children rather than nurturing it. I remember one acquaintance who latched onto this “Golden Rule” so strongly, he applied it to himself in a unique way. He was, by his own admission, a pessimistic

man. After a seminar several years ago, he came to me and said, “You know, I have six kids. When I walk into a room, within ten minutes, they all leave. I’m such a negative person.” We’ve all been around this kind of “black hole” person. Perhaps you know that a black hole is a place in the universe where gravity is so strong, even light can’t escape from the pull. When a “black hole” person walks into a room, he sucks everything positive out of the environment. This father admitted to being that kind of person, and he also saw the results in his children. In order to truly follow the Golden Rule with his children, he recognized his need to alter his attitude. As fathers, we should make sure that we apply the Golden Rule with our kids as much (or more) as we apply it to other adults. MIMBS 11 What needs to change in your life, so you can truly say you are following the Golden Rule with your children, or with children who are important to you? Daily Reading: 1 Kings 8:1-12:19, Acts 7:519:25, Psalm 129:1-131:3, Proverbs 17:1-5

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For June 7–13—Ask someone to read aloud the devotion, “Setting Boundaries, Shaping Character, and Nurturing” from Thursday, June 10. •• What three things can proper discipline do for a child? •• Were you given proper discipline as a child? Did you or do you give proper discipline to your children? •• Let’s spend some time in prayer for our children. If your children still live at home, pray for healthy ways to discipline them.

Monday—June 14 • Nurturing through Listening He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame. Proverbs 18:13

Several years ago, when my son was getting married, I heard him say to my wife, “You know, Mom, you’ve always been my number-one fan.” I was a little taken aback, because if you had known my wife and me, and you had heard our conversations, I believe you would have concluded that she and I are equal in our love and appreciation for this fine young man. So why did he characterize his mother as his number-one fan? In his words, “She’s the one who listens to me.” One of the biggest areas I’ve had to address in my desire to nurture my children is my habit of giving advice. I’m a teacher. I have answers. In fact, in my own natural state,

usually I don’t just know the answers, but I also anticipate the questions. When I follow that natural pattern with children, I know they’ve felt demeaned. I’ve had to learn the skills of listening. Listening without interrupting to give advice communicates respect and honor, regardless of whether the other person is five or fifty. MIMBS 11 Describe a time when someone didn’t listen to you before they gave advice. How did you feel? Ask a few other men about their experience. Daily Reading: 1 Kings 12:2013:34, Acts 9:26-43, Psalm 132:1-18, Proverbs 17:6

Tuesday—June 15 • Expressing That You Care

People were bringing their little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Mark 10:13–15 Can you imagine what it would have been like to be one of Jesus’ disciples on this day? They thought they were doing the right thing, prioritizing Jesus’ time for Him. But Jesus wasn’t pleased. In fact, this passage says He was indignant. He honored all children everywhere when He demonstrated how much He cared for them. Most of us live out our weeks in uncaring environments. In our jobs, the care we receive is normally limited by the extent of the commercial possibilities inherent in the relationship. When we encounter someone who truly cares about who we are, and not just about what we do, we are taken by surprise.

When I was growing up, I knew I could call my mom and dad anytime, but I also knew they would never call me. I believe they thought they were doing the right thing—that they were giving me space. But the message I received was that they didn’t really care. Don’t give your kids so much space that they think you don’t care. MIMBS 11 List three things you can do today to communicate to your kids that you care about them. Daily Reading: 1 Kings 14:1-15:24, Acts 10:123, Psalm 133:1-3, Proverbs 17:7-8

Wednesday—June 16 • Be Available

So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. Luke 15:20 Jesus told a story about a “lost son”—a boy who left home and lived a lavish lifestyle. He basically disgraced his father, yet when he returned home, his father welcomed him. His dad made himself available. Of course, this parable is designed to illustrate something about God’s incredible love and compassion for us as His children. But it also has something to teach us about being an earthly father. I believe a good father makes a habit of being available to his children. Perhaps you’ve had the experience of calling someone repeatedly, even leaving messages, but never receiving a return

call. Eventually you probably gave up, because you knew the person wasn’t interested enough in you to make themselves available. We cannot afford to allow our kids to think we don’t care about them. You can’t wind your kids up, turn them loose, and just expect them to keep spinning in the right way. You have to be available. A nurturing dad is a daily dad. MIMBS 11 How would you know if your kids really understand that you are available to them? Daily Reading: 1 Kings 15:25-17:24, Acts 10:2448, Psalm 134:1-3, Proverbs 17:9-11

Thursday—June 17 • Responding to Adult Children My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you . . . then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. . . . Thus you will walk in the ways of good men and keep to the paths of the righteous. Proverbs 2:1, 5, 20

When my son was getting married, I sent him an e-mail explaining, “I know there will be a lot of errands, like deposits that you need to have dropped off, phone calls made, etc. I’d like to volunteer to be your ‘gofer’ here in Orlando.” Within ten minutes, I got an e-mail back. “Gosh, Dad. I would really appreciate that. I was wondering how I was going to get all these things done.” A nurturing dad is a daily dad, even to adult children. You may think you’ve missed your chance. You need to forgive yourself and get on with doing the things you can to be a nurturing father or grandfather. Or perhaps you didn’t have a nurturing father. You need to forgive him, perhaps even tell him so, and get on with your life. Be wise and nurture today where you can. Show your

children and grandchildren that you love and respect them. Have a positive attitude about them. Listen to them without interrupting. Find a way to show them, on an on-going basis, how much you care about them. MIMBS 11 How do you wish your father would respond to you, now that you are an adult? How can you respond to your children that way today?? Daily Reading: 1 Kings 18:1-46, Acts 11:1-30, Psalm 135:1-21, Proverbs 17:12-13

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—June 18, 19, 20 • Clueless Kids When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things. Mark 6:34

This verse describes a time when Jesus was traveling by boat in an effort to get away from the crowds and spend some quality time with His close followers. But when the boat landed, the crowds were already there. And this verse describes them as “sheep without a shepherd.” If you want to see what that looks like, just take a trip to your local mall. Watch the young men and women who hang out there. You know, I remember hanging out at the mall when I was a teenager and young adult. And I remember feeling like a sheep without a shepherd. I felt like I was totally clueless about everything. My parents tried a number of avenues to help me. They thought music lessons might be an answer. I tried piano lessons, but I only lasted about a week. I thought maybe the accordion was for me, so I convinced them to buy one. I used it for about three weeks, and then pushed it to the back of the closet. My parents finally sold the accordion. I went out for the seventh grade basketball team. When I got cut from the team, I found I was clueless about that, too. And then, when I got a little older, I loved the idea of having a fast car. I found a kid who had some headers—they made the engine louder and faster. I tried installing

them myself on my car, but I left a oneinch gap between the header and the engine block. I discovered I was mechanically clueless when fire shot from under the hood of my car. Those are just a few examples that show how clueless I really was—just like a lot of kids in our contemporary culture. Sometimes we’d like to blame them for their foibles. But that doesn’t reflect Jesus’ attitude at all. Instead of blaming the people in the crowd, Jesus taught them. People in our culture are clueless for a reason. Generally, there’s only one way that a person gets an inkling about what life is really about. It only happens when a “shepherd” finds them and invests time and energy to teach them. MIMBS 12 Describe a time when you came to understand you were clueless. Who “shepherded” you through that time? Ask another man about his experience. Daily Reading: 1 Kings 19:1-22:53, Acts 12:113:41, Psalm 136:1-138:8, Proverbs 17:14-18

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For June 14–20—Have each man write down the different characteristics for these two titles “good listening” and “bad listening.” •• Take a few minutes to discuss the characteristics with each other. •• Which title best describes your listening skills with your children? Your wife? •• How can you improve those skills? How would that change your relationship with your family?

Monday—June 21 • Practical Education Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men. Proverbs 22:29

This verse summarizes every dad’s dream for his kids. He wants them to become skilled in their work and find their place in the world. But dreaming won’t make it happen. We need to be intentional about providing our kids with a practical education. Let’s take apart that phrase to see what it really means. According to the thesaurus in my word processing program, “practical” means sensible, realistic, useful, functional, and workable. This word carries a sense of application. In other words, it’s not entirely theoretical. And “education” simply means being taught. In this context, an educated person is a skilled person, like the man described in the verse above.

Practical education begins with Scripture. The Bible prohibits some things and requires others. A wise person follows those injunctions without question. But between those extremes, most of our daily decisions aren’t really about right and wrong. They’re about prioritizing the gray areas, so we can choose the better of two things that are both okay. The Book of Proverbs is a great place to find help in establishing those priorities. MIMBS 12 Describe how Proverbs 22:29 summarizes your desire for your own kids, or for a child who is important to you. Daily Reading: 2 Kings 1:1-2:25, Acts 13:4214:7, Psalm 139:1-24, Proverbs 17:19-21

Tuesday—June 22 • A Place for Observed Truth Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. 1 Thessalonians 4:11–12

Scripture gives life a theoretical framework, and it also provides useful instruction for daily living. In this verse, for instance, the apostle Paul gave very practical advice to a specific group of believers. In a general way, you can see how that advice applies to all believers. But how can you teach your child to apply that to his own life? A practical education must be based on the idea that all Scripture is true. But it also must allow for “general revelation”—truth that can be learned outside of Scripture, through observing the world. And then there is a level of cultural convention—things to help your child navigate the culture in which he lives. For instance, your child has a better chance of success if he learns to say “please” and “thank you.” That’s

not a scriptural mandate, but it doesn’t violate Scripture. That is the test for wisdom that doesn’t come specifically from the Bible. Within life’s “gray areas,” teach your children to pursue scriptural principles, and never to violate or contradict obvious biblical teaching. MIMBS 12 What is one thing you need to teach your child which doesn’t come directly from Scripture, but it does follow scriptural principles, or at least it does not contradict them? Daily Reading: 2 Kings 3:1-4:17, Acts 14:8-28, Psalm 140:1-13, Proverbs 17:22

q Wednesday—June 23 • Educating Your Child by Your Own Example Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore I urge you to imitate me. 1 Corinthians 4:15–16 The apostle Paul was a spiritual father to the Christians in Corinth. Because of that special relationship, when he wrote to them, he said, “I urge you to imitate me.” A similar thing can happen with your own children, or with children who are in your circle of influence. When my son was about five or six, he very naturally mimicked my daily habits. I remember standing side-by-side with him after taking a shower. I watched him wrap a towel around his waist and tuck in the corner, just like I did it. After I combed my wet hair straight back, he did exactly the same thing. We teach a lot of life lessons through our example. But I’ve

found that learning is most effective when we mentor intentionally. You see, a lot of mentoring happens when kids watch our behavior in specific situations. Rather than simply responding to circumstances with your children, I encourage you to develop a written list of the skills you want to teach them. Then create situations where you can achieve that goal through mentoring. MIMBS 12 Describe a situation in which you were mentored by your father or by another important man in your life. How can you pass on that lesson to another person? Daily Reading: 2 Kings 4:18-5:27, Acts 15:1-35, Psalm 141:1-10, Proverbs 17:23

Thursday—June 24 • What Is Your Child Good At? And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them. Psalm 78:72

A father or a mentor can prepare a child by helping him discover what he’s good at. In the 1980s, a Harvard professor named Dr. Howard Gardner noted that traditional IQ tests don’t account for different areas where people can excel. He noticed that some people have “linguistic intelligence”— they’re good with words. Others succeed in “logical/mathematical intelligence”— numbers and reasoning. Gardner proposed eight different “intelligences,” including spatial (good with pictures and seeing how things fit together), bodily/kinesthetic (good with movement), musical, interpersonal (understanding people), intrapersonal (understanding self ), and naturalist (interpreting nature). You see a lot of that variety reflected in

biblical characters. Solomon collected and classified proverbs, showing that he had linguistic intelligence. The men who built elements of worship for the tabernacle and temple were spatially gifted. Asaph is described as musically gifted. David coupled great interpersonal skills with integrity to become a great leader. God worked through these men by giving them tasks within their areas of special ability. You can increase a child’s opportunity for success if you help him find and focus on his strengths. MIMBS 12 How can you help a child you’re mentoring to discover and concentrate on his strengths? Daily Reading: 2 Kings 6:1-7:20, Acts 15:3616:15, Psalm 142:1-7, Proverbs 17:24-25

q Friday, Saturday, Sunday—June 25, 26, 27 • Create Special Times O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. . . . what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord. Psalm 78:1, 3–4a The process of mentorthe girls ride away. And then ing can be greatly helped by came deathly silence. The boys scheduling specific times for didn’t know Mike was standing character building. I rememjust about four feet away, but they ber a man whose son-in-law heard his foot rustle in the leaves. was basically an “AWOL “What was that? I think there’s an dad,” uninvolved in the animal out here,” one of them said. grandkids’ lives. Instead of hounding the Mike took pity on them. “Take off your son-in-law, he became proactive. He began blindfolds,” he said. And when they did, taking his grandsons to lunch on a regular they saw several men, all of whom had basis. “What will you talk about?” I asked. invested time in mentoring them, seated “Everything,” he replied. around a fire pit and facing them. Mike In that context, keep in mind the imporproceeded to lead this group through a spetance of creating special occasions to teach cially designed ceremony. Each man had special lessons. I knew a man named Mike the opportunity to give spiritual advice and whose son, Adam, was graduating from practical advice, and to pray for the boys. high school. Adam had grown up with two You know what struck me when Mike special friends. They were all Christians, relayed the story? A lot of men have good they had participated in sports together, ideas like this, but they never do anything and they all had girlfriends. So Mike about them. Set aside time, so you can enlisted the girlfriends’ help. He had them be intentional about positively mentorset up a group “date” with the three boys for ing the children in your circle of influence. an evening near the end of the school year. MIMBS 12 The girlfriends blindfolded Adam and his friends and drove until the boys were thorWhat steps are you taking (or will you take) to oughly confused. They got the boys out set aside time for intentionally mentoring the of the vehicle, walked them across a footchildren in your circle of influence? Ask some bridge to an island in the middle of a river. other men to help you actually follow through. They sat the boys down on three chairs. Daily Reading: 2 Kings 8:1-12:21, Acts 16:16Then they left. 18:22, Psalm 143:1-145:21, Proverbs 17:26The boys heard the car doors slam and 18:1

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For June 21–27—Share this definition with your group: “mentor—a wise and trusted counselor or teacher; an influential senior or supporter.” •• Have you had the opportunity to be mentored by someone or to mentor someone? •• Is mentoring the same as parenting, coaching or bossing? In what ways? •• How can a mentor change the life of a boy or young man?

Monday—June 28 • Love Him Wholly Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30

What does it mean to love God like the Bible tells us to do? Kind of overwhelming, isn’t it? God is calling us to love Him with the totality of our being; with every ounce of our energy; and with the sum of our strength. We’re to bring every fiber within us and put it toward loving God. We’re to follow the example of men in the Bible who did just that. Abraham was willing to abandon his family and obey God. Moses was willing to suffer mistreatment rather than enjoy the pleasures of being the son of the Pharaoh, in order to answer God’s call on his life and be the leader of His people. Daniel risked his life because, as

a servant of God, he would not bow down to the golden idol of Nebuchadnezzar. What would it look like for you to love God with all your heart, mind and soul? Loving God, as the biblical examples loved Him, may be asking more of you than ever before. MIMBS 13 What is the closest you have come to loving someone or something with all your heart, soul and mind? Does that describe your love for God? Daily Reading: 2 Kings 13:1-14:29, Acts 18:2319:12, Psalm 146:1-10, Proverbs 18:2-3

Tuesday—June 29 • Our Response to His Love This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:10

I had the privilege of knowing Bill Bright (cofounder of Campus Crusade) and he was a wonderful example of loving God. Bill may have been the only person I’ve known who came close to loving God with all his heart, mind and soul. I don’t know anybody who’s ever done this. Is it possible to love God like this? The answer is no. We can’t do this. To love God really means to be first loved by God. In Ephesians 2:7–8 (The Message) we are told, “Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next

to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish!” Salvation is a gift and God’s love is a gift. We cannot love God on our own. Loving God with all our heart, soul and mind is only a response to knowing and accepting His love for us. When we finally grasp God loving us, we cannot resist loving Him. MIMBS 13 Is it a new thought that we cannot make ourselves love God? Or that loving Him is only a result of knowing and accepting His love? Do these concepts change your view of God’s love and loving Him? Daily Reading: 2 Kings 15:1-16:20, Acts 19:1341, Psalm 147:1-20, Proverbs 18:4-5

Wednesday—June 30 • No Greater Love

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. Romans 8:38 (nlt) I had a car that I was trying to sell, and I was experiencing a great deal of anxiety about it. Would it sell for the right amount of money? Would it sell when I needed it to? Finally, I got an offer, and I could sell it for as much as I had in it. Ah, relief! Why did that transaction make me worry so much? Because I was new to the car game and I had very little experience with buying and selling them. I am still learning about car sales, but I don’t feel that same anxiety anymore. That’s what happens in our relationship with God, especially in the early days of knowing Him. We doubt that He could love us and we don’t understand the magnitude

and depth of His love. God’s love is so unique and human love simply doesn’t compare. It can’t be measured and it can’t be earned. Once we begin to experience the love of God, it keeps drawing us in and eventually we cannot resist that love or resist Him. There is no greater love and He never stops lavishing that love on us. MIMBS 13 What three words come to mind when you think of God’s love? Share your words with a friend and ask him for his.

Q A Daily Reading: 2 Kings 17:1-18:12, Acts 20:138, Psalm 148:1-14, Proverbs 18:6-7

continued from page 9

Q& A Q& A

What Scripture speaks most to you about revival?

TC: “He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30

JA: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10; and “Revive me with your word!” Psalm 119:25

BJD: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” Deuteronomy 6:4 (also vv 5-7) Have you ever experienced revival?

BJD: The transition to becoming a parent had a powerful influence on my spiritual life. I would describe this as a “revival.”

JK: The early days of Promise Keepers would be described as a spiritual awakening among men, and in my life. . . it was a thrill to see men “drawn to the fire.”

BD: Yes. Many times. It is the state of being where you are completely satisfied in all God is for you.

It’s news I’m most proud to proclaim, this extraordinary Message of God’s powerful plan to rescue everyone who trusts him, starting with Jews and then right on to everyone else! God’s way of putting people right shows up in the acts of faith, confirming what Scripture has said all along: “The person in right standing before God by trusting him really lives.” —Romans 1:16,17 (The Message)

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continued from page 6 Modesto Revival, and the Brownsville Revival in Pensacola, Florida, which recorded 100,000 conversions in two years.36 College Revivals swept across America, starting at Howard Payne University in Brownwood, Texas, under the preaching of Henry Blackaby, a Southern Baptist.37 The Promise Keepers Revival, the most publicized of the Mid-1990s Revivals, began in 1991 when 4,200 men descended on the University of Colorado to be challenged to live up to their faith. In 1993, 50,000 men assembled from every state and 16 nations. In the following years, stadium events were conducted in cities throughout the United States. A spirit of revival and transformation swept across America as millions of men attended. The revival reached it’s zenith on October 4, 1997, as 1,000,000 or more men gathered on the National Mall in Washington, D. C. By the close of 2000, Promise Keepers reported 5,000,000 had attended 100 conferences. An additional 1,000,000 men have been impacted since.38

MESSY

Is America Ripe for Revival Today?

CYCLICAL

A majority of Americans believe our country is going downhill. Yet church attendance as a percent of population has held steady since 1990, and probably since 1940.39 America added 50,000 new churches in the last 20 years of the 20th century to total 350,000.40 The number of born again Christians has grown steadily to 46% of adults today.41 Given the state of moral and spiritual decay, how is that possible? The answer is simple. Today, Christianity is prevalent but not powerful. The solution is spiritual revival and awakening. We’ve not had an awakening in America of historic proportion for a long time. With such a great tradition of revival and awakening, a great base from which to start, and a great need to counteract the increasing moral and spiritual decline, our nation appears ripe for a fresh outpouring of God’s Spirit. But history tells us that national revivals and awakenings cannot be manufactured. They are sovereign acts of mercy and grace by God Himself, when He supernaturally achieves in a short span what seems otherwise impossible. However, God loves to respond to the prayers of His people (e.g., 2 Chronicles 7:14). While the decision belongs to God alone, He gives us the privilege of hastening the day through humble repentant prayer. Let us pray that God will have mercy on us all.

• DR. PATRICK MORLEY

After building one of Florida’s 100 largest privately held companies, in 1991 Dr. Patrick Morley founded Man in the Mirror, a non-profit organization to help men find meaning and purpose in life. Dr. Morley is the bestselling author of 13 books including The Man in the Mirror, No Man Left Behind, Pastoring Men, and A Man’s Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines.

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For the text of this ALM and the Ten Characteristics of Revivals (on page 61) including endnote references, please go to www.maninthemirror.org/alm.

Ten Characteristics of Revivals

Common Themes of Awakening . Each revival or awakening leaves its own heat signature—in 1740 youth led the way, in 1857 businessmen and prayer took center stage, and the 1906 Azusa Street revival was decidedly interracial. Yet all share common themes. What are the most frequently mentioned characteristics of revivals and awakenings in literature?

TIMING

TIMING: Revivals emerge during times of spiritual and moral decline, which leads to intense prayer.42

PRAYER

PRAYER: God puts a longing into the hearts of many to pray for revival.43

THE

WORD

THE WORD: The preaching or reading of God’s Word brings deep conviction and desire for Christ.44

THE HOLY SPIRIT

CONVICTION

GLORY FOR GOD

REFORMATION AND RENEWAL

MANIFESTATIONS

MESSY

CYCLICAL

4. THE HOLY SPIRIT : The Holy Spirit takes people to a spiritual depth they could not achieve on their own.45 5. CONVICTION : Affected sinners are inconsolable except in Christ. 6. GLORY FOR GOD : God receives praise, honor, and glory for bringing revival. 7. REFORMATION AND RENEWAL : Revival produces lasting fruit. New ministries are founded and society experiences a reform of morals as more and more people convert.46 47 48 8. MANIFESTATIONS : Manifestations like fainting, groaning prayer, and miracles vary by culture and denomination.49 9. MESSY : Revivals are messy—controversies swirl about miracles, abuses, excesses, suspicions, and theological disputes (to name but a few).50 10.

CYCLICAL: Revivals inevitably crest and decline.51 52 61

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