www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 22 October 2012 Issue 1255 Free
WHEN MEN DO MAKEOVERS...
FEATURES P.14-15
Read up on the ‘filthy fresh’ misadventures of Louisa HarringtonSmythe Lifestyle, p.28
Local MP supports students against exploitative landlords “We want students and local residents to work •together against exploitative private landlords” “Students need access to greater information and guidance on the rental market to avoid rip off rents”
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By George Sandeman News Editor Chi Onwurah has called for an end to private landlords exploiting students by charging rent “above the market rate” whilst 4,000 private properties remain empty. The Newcastle Central MP’s campaign comes as part of a wider call on the Government to free up empty houses to address the nationwide housing issue, with 9,000 people in Newcastle waiting for homes. In a wide-ranging interview with The Courier, she said: “We want students and local residents to work together against exploitative private landlords.” “We want examples of when people have been exploited and do a name and shame campaign of bad landlords.” “I’m proud to be the MP for a city with two great universities, the number one city of choice for students. And I think it is part of my job to make sure they are not exploited by landlords. Certainly, the presence of 50,000 students in Jesmond, Fenham and Heaton has a big impact on the local housing market. “Housing associations tell me that landlords often prefer to leave their
houses empty in the hope of eventually attracting student tenants who will pay high rents for low standard accommodation. “Students need access to greater information and guidance on the rental market to help them avoid rip off rents, which drive prices up for everybody. If landlords continue to view students as a cash cow that will pay above the market rate, then they will be less likely to rent their homes to others.” The Shadow Business Minister also gave her thoughts on other topical matters. Speaking on the Andrew Mitchell debacle, in which the Tory Chief Whip allegedly called a policeman a ‘pleb’, she said: “Firstly, I find it really hard to imagine an environment in which you call anyone a pleb and particularly calling a policeman or woman a pleb when two had been recently killed in the line of duty (Nicola Hughes and Paula Bone). If he used that word as a term of insult then he should not be in [his position].” Mitchell resigned last Friday evening and continues to deny using such insulting terms despite the PC’s testimony. It was also the day Chancellor George Osborne was allegedly caught sitting in the First Class carriage of a train to Euston despite only having an
Economy Class ticket. She also spoke about the BBC apologising for their Security Correspondent Frank Gardner letting slip a private conversation about the Queen’s frustration at Britain’s recent inability at extraditing radical Islamic preacher Abu Hamza. “As Head of State, I think she’s perfectly entitled to communicate those concerns. As to whether the BBC should have apologised, it does show the opaqueness in the relationship between the Royal Family and the BBC, which has to be a cause of concern.” Addressing fellow Labour MP Stella Creasy’s suggestion that a ‘zero budget’, a review of every pound spent by Government, should be part of Labour’s next general election manifesto, Onwurah said: “We’re two and a half years away from an election and about a year and a half to two years away from writing the manifesto and what we need to be focusing on as a party is agreeing what it is we want to do, what we want to achieve, what our priorities are and how they reflect the priorities of the people. “Getting our priorities in tune with the British people and making that clear continued on page 8
Embarrassing Bodies to set up camp on campus By Susie May Beever News Editor Students get set to grin and bare all this week, as Newcastle University’s campus sees the flying visitation of BAFTAwinning TV show Embarrassing Bodies.
The Channel 4 documentary, which invites brave patients with (in some cases quite literally) burning issues to confess all to the show’s doctors, will be setting up base this Wednesday as part of the Students’ Union’s S.H.A.G Week, promoting safe sexual
health among the student population. The tent will be propped up outside the Union building from 11am until 6pm for any students wanting to talk to co-presenter Dr Dawn Harper about continued on page 4
Photograph: Mark Summers
All aboard the Miliband wagon
News p.5
News
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NEWS
DAVID MILIBAND
Questions with the Labour MP in the Curtis Auditorium
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GEORDIE GREENERY Plants prefer the Toon accent over other regional dialects
Monday 22 October 2012
News Editors: George Sandeman, Susie May Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor: Aine Stott courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News
Great success for feminist gathering By Lisa Bernhardt Last weekend saw host to the first North East Feminist Gathering, held at the CU house. The event was spread over two days and offered a range of workshops, panel discussions and music performances for the participants. Organised by a group of women from
Newcastle and the surrounding region, the gathering attracted around 60 to 100 women from all over the UK on both days. Roweena Russell, one of the event’s main organisers, said that she was “utterly delighted with how the event went”. Throughout the day, the participants signed up to a variety of workshops covering feminist activism and theory, but also creative approaches to wom-
en’s lives and experiences. The workshops were hosted by the organisers themselves, such as an introduction to wrestling by Northumbria University student Nina Gray, and external visitors that had been invited. In the evening, the audience was entertained by an ‘Open Mary’ (rather than ‘Open Mic’) night, Ms Russell’s personal highlight. Russell said that “it was amazing... Kate Bush dancing,
COMMENT
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YOUNG VOTERS Should 16 yearolds be given suffrage?
BREAKING BARRIERS Man defies speed of sound in record breaking free-fall
42 45
BROKEN TRUST Has the doping scandal ruined trust?
INTRA MURAL
This week’s Intra Mural football report
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GIRL POWER
The North East Feminist Gathering attracted women of all age groups and backgrounds Photography: Roweena Russell
singing midwife, Lizi Gray live standup comedy and so much more. It was wonderful”. Another highlight of the weekend was a speech by local Labour party member Vera Baird. She explained the detrimental effects that current Tory politics have on women in terms of issues such as rape cases and abortion rights and urged the attendants to make use of their vote in the upcoming elections. The initiative was founded by Newcastle University students Rhiannon Finn and Rhiannon Redpath in Spring 2012. After watching a film about a feminist summer school in London, they felt inspired to put on a similar event in the North East, according to the official website. Over the course of several months, they gathered a group of women around them who contributed their time, skills and knowledge towards organising the event, including members of Newcastle University’s Feminist Society and the Newcastle Women’s Collective. The organising team hopes that the first North East Feminist Gathering will kick off a range of other events around the region. “The plans for the future are to create more opportunities for women to meet, share experiences and organise together. “There was amazing motivation in the room for change and action... the NEFG will be working to structure this powerful outcome into something meaningful for women” said Roweena Russell.
Student software turns campus App-side down By Matthew Tate A Newcastle student, who came first in a recent student enterprise competition, has designed and built a Newcastle University app for Apple devices. Robert Cain, 27 from West Denton, developed the app to allow Newcastle students quick and easy access to the services they use on a daily basis. The app was designed particularly to assist first year students from Britain and abroad to settle in to the demands of university life. Students can access timetables, careers page, maps and the staff directory all from the same place. In the past they have only been available separately. You can also use the app to search for the nearest printer or computer, as well as reading latest University news. Speaking about his entry to the Newcastle University Appathon Competi-
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tion, Cain said: “There were two rounds to the competition. I came in at the start of the second round where you are either building something from round one, or taking it and making it better. I went for the one that I thought the University should be doing first, which is your essentials. The timetables, the events, news and things like that. I tried to cut it down to what I knew would be practical”. Robert identified that students are often faced with an unnecessarily complicated process when using the various services available, and that Newcastle had fallen behind in this area. “More recently most Universities are now doing it and ours is encouraged to support as many devices as possible. Going the native app route is not something they can do themselves at the moment. The app includes what I think is practical and important for students. The things they really need. I have never seen a time-
table system that has been particularly easy to use so I wanted to simplify it. That was definitely a focus for me.” When selecting ‘timetable’ from the Newcastle Uni app, after entering your log-in details you can scroll down the screen whilst it shows you a list of your lectures and seminars. After winning the competition, Cain was offered assistance in the development and implementation of his app, but chose to maintain sole control of the project. He said: “I know that if I started adding more people it wouldn’t necessarily have made it easier on me. I got all the say and it was about my design rather than having to oversee somebody else.” As is stands, the app is available only to Apple devices, the iPhone and iPod touch. Cain revealed that an iPad version is currently in preview stage, and could potentially see a release date in the coming months. As far as bring-
Editor Ben Travis News Editors George Sandeman, Susie Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor Aine Stott Comment Editors Georgie Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor Jennifer Evans Features Editor Tom Nicholson Listings Editor Sally Priddle Lifestyle Editors Lauren Stafford, Emily Rae and Catherin Davison Online Lifestyle Editor Victoria Mole Fashion Editors Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor Sally Greenwood Arts Editors Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Online Arts Editor Grace Harvey Film Editors Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor Chris Binding Music Editors Chris Haywood and Sam Summers Online Music Editor Sophie Coletta Sports Editors Ralph Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe Copy Editors Harriet Andrews, Helen Battrick, Georgina Grant, Rachel Horrocks, Maddie McNeill, Charley Monteith, Leanne Penning, Amy Preston, Tom Rhodes, Gemma Thompson, Jessica Timms
ing it to other popular mobile software platforms, Cain explained that it would “pretty much require a rewrite of the program” to enable this, but said that if the feedback is there and people want it, it may be something he considers in the future. The app has been available for a month now, timed to coincide with the International Student arrival week, and so far has been received well. There is scope though for improving what is already available, if students are vocal about wanting it. “Everyone seems happy so far and there has been lots of downloads and numerous five star ratings on the App Store. There are many things I’d change though. We may in the future be arranging more features, rather than just fixing it as it is.” The Newcastle University app is available to download for free from the Apple App Store
The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge. The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.
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news.3
Monday 22 October 2012
Zoologists scale new photographic heights with incredible iguana images
By Mark Summers For many students a cheque for a £3,000 trip to the Caribbean would be a chance for you to relax and work on your tan. However, this was not the case for four students from Newcastle University, who used the money as well as five weeks of their summer holiday to research green iguanas in the US Virgin Islands. When Rachel Blow, Donna Wintersgill, Sarah Wood and Jess Fisher heard of the ncl+ Vacation Scholarship scheme, they spent most of their second year at University creating an application for funding. They heard in April that they were going to receive the scholarship and so began to put plans in place for their trip, contacting scientists on the Virgin Islands for advice. Once everything was organised, the girls headed off for five weeks in June to investigate the habits of iguanas on St Thomas island. During their stay, the third-year Zoology students were able to meet scientists who are experts in their fields and saw many areas of research, including surveys of bat populations and snorkelling
with turtles. Fisher said of the experience “the trip gave us a great chance to plan an expedition, conduct field research and learn how to present our findings.” They put their experiences down to the ncl+ funding they received and are thankful for the advice they were given by locals.
ards ran as far as 30 metres away from them when approached. The other area of study was the rather unglamorous topic of roadkill, as research has shown that most iguanas killed on the roads in the Virgin Islands are pregnant, their extra weight meaning they are unable to run out of the way of approaching vehicles. The effect that
“The trip gave us a great chance to plan an expedition, conduct field research and learn how to present our findings”
Whilst on the island of St Thomas the students focused on two particular habits of the iguanas. Their first area of study was to look at the reactions of iguanas to human contact in different parts of the island. St Thomas’ has faced an influx of tourists in the last 30 years, causing some iguanas to move towards holiday-makers favourite sites and become dependent on scraps given to them by the visitors. In stark contrast, those iguanas who remained in areas untouched by tourism were terrified by human contact, with the students finding that these liz-
this will have on population numbers is still not known as there are no certain figures on the iguana population. However, the Newcastle students were able to help future research by mapping and surveying every dead iguana they found on the roads. The students will be presenting their findings at the Explore Conference, which is hosted by the Royal Geographic Society in mid-November. They will also speak alongside other winners of ncl+ Scholarships from 4pm on Wednesday 21st November in the Curtis Auditorium.
PLAY FIGHTING Iguanas captured in action by the zoology students on their travels Photography: Jessica Fisher
4.news
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
“Developing a community atmosphere is
News Editor George Sandeman sat down with the newlyappointed Director of the Business School to talk about vision, entrepreneurial spirit and silky smooth football
EXCLUSIVE In a bright, sunlit room overlooking the town and down to the river of the brand new £50 million Business School, John Wilson set out the details of his blueprint. “What we see the business school as doing is to raise its profile and become the number one centre for various aspects of the business research agenda. “We want to raise standards across the disciplines in the whole school so that when people think about these disciplines, they think about Newcastle, first and foremost. But it’s not simply for ‘Ivory Tower’ research, this is for a purpose. We are here to serve our stakeholders.” Outlining who the stakeholders were and how the 2,800 strong school could contribute, he explained: “Students, regional business community and public sector that can benefit from the research that my colleagues do and will be doing
in the future. We generate the knowledge but then we want to disseminate that. And then we want to implement that in organisations whether they be local, regional, national or multinational. We think we can make a difference to these businesses.” The Preston native placed particular emphasis on the need for the Business School to play a central role in the region: “Equally “The holing we out of the city importantly, must play a role centre is I think in the city. The one of the trav- school is by St James’ Park in the esties of the centre of the city 21st Century” and we want it to become a hub, so there is a social dimension to this. Developing a community atmosphere is an essential feature of what I stand for both as a person and as a Director of the Business School.” Professor Wilson will be officially taking up post on 12 November and
has already started settling in to his new surroundings. ”I’ve moved into an apartment down by the Ouseburn with a fabulous walk up in the mornings from the river.” Asked if the beauty of the city was part of his decision to take up his new post, he said: “It’s undoubtedly part of it. When I was visiting here for the interviews, I noticed how the city has got so much going for it.” “The region has a lot: the countryside, I greatly enjoy walking, and one of my favourite beaches in the world at Bamburgh Castle has got to be one of the most outstanding sights in the UK. The opportunity to live close by to such wonderful places is great and I was so impressed by the city and the way it has retained its traditional centre rather than a mish-mash of modern shopping centres and malls. And what they have done by the river is just spectacular.” Giving his thoughts on the much talked about ‘death of the High Street’, the former Liverpool University strategy lecturer opined: “The holing out of the city centre is I think one of the trav-
MAN WITH A PLAN
New Director John Wilson aims to make the Business School synonymous with high quality research and cutting edge practical skills
“Students won’t have to strip off or be embarrassed, just talk to Dawn about awareness of the sexual issue” continued from page 1 any worrying health issues. Any willing patients will receive the opportunity to have any questions answered as well as appearing on national television. Dawn Harper is a specialist in women’s health, appearing to advise any female students and hand out free tests for various conditions concerning sexual health. Esta Innes, the Students’ Union’s Welfare and Equality Officer, told The Courier: “This week is about general sexual health and looking after yourself, not just about STIs.” “S.H.A.G Week isn’t about telling people to go out and have sex, it’s about discussing sexual health and our attitudes towards it.” Last year S.H.A.G Week, standing for
Sexual Health and Guidance, was voted the Union’s number one campaign with 100% of students saying they wanted to see its return. Statistics show that 1 in 14 young people have Chlamydia, and the majority of people in the North East carrying sexually transmitted infections are under the age of 25. Esta added, “As Welfare Officer of the Students’ Union, I feel it would be irresponsible not to raise awareness of S.H.A.G Week and open discussion about sexual health.” Dr Dawn Harper is looking for female students willing to participate in Embarrassing Bodies and discuss a particular health issue. Esta Innes ensures “students won’t have to strip off or be embarrassed, just to talk to Dawn about awareness of the sexual issue and will be able to take a free test.”
Planned events for S.H.A.G Week include: 22 Mon:
C-Card sign-up, 11-3pm, Students’ Union Debate - ‘This House Regrets Allowing the Sexualisation of Modern Media’, 6.30pm, Students’ Union History Room
23 Tues:
Open mic night - Love-themed Homemade Jam, 8pm, MensBar
24 Weds:
Open Lecture - ‘The History of Sex and STDs’ by Dr. Mark Casey, 3.30pm, Students’ Union Venue
The Courier
news.5
Monday 22 October 2012
an essential feature of what I stand for” esties of the 21st Century. If you’ve lost the heart of the city then how and with what do you replace that? A centre is essential for the public infrastructure.” He explained that his current research, sponsored by The Co-operative Group, explored how shopping was “more than just the acquisition of goods, it’s a retail experience.” A trained historian, he outlined how retailing is a central function of the group. “Their strategy has been to develop convenience stores to serve customers in their locality rather than in hypermarkets, five miles away from civilisation.” Addressing how the Business School could produce the most employable graduates, he said: “We don’t just do academic research but teach the most up-to-date skills to the students to give them the best chance for employability.” Wilson sought to emphasise the importance of external advice in determining how best to prepare graduates. “The employers know what’s best and we should not have the arrogance to say we know what’s best, we know what’s best for you. And they will tell us what kind of skills they will need for their workforce and we have to be adaptive and be part of the business community. We’ll interact with the Chambers of Commerce, local business groups, entrepreneurs and an international advisory board who will all be advising us on how best to devel-
op our programmes.” He also took time to address the perceived lack of entrepreneurial spirit in the UK when compared to our American counterparts across the pond: “You could say that Britain has had a historic issue with entrepreneurship. The classic cliché is that the Brits are good at
School before undertaking his bachelors in History at the University of Manchester where he spent “21 very happy years from undergraduate to becoming a member of the faculty.” However, answers were relatively less straightforward when conversation turned to football allegiances: “I’m a
inventing but the Americans are good at innovation. There are a whole host of issues there but this is my strategy. In simple terms, let’s think of society composed of three circles: knowledge, business and the private sector. In my strategy, the closer we get those three circles to work together, the more harmonious and more conducive the environment. The greater the centripetal force, the greater the congruence and the greater the harmony with all of these working together.” During his time at Liverpool University he oversaw the trebling of postgraduate students within three years from 250 to more than 700. Newcastle will be the seventh university Wilson has studied and worked at. Born and bred in Lancashire, he attended a local Catholic High
Preston North End fan at heart but in 1969 we were drawn against Manchester United in the FA Cup and I watched the likes of Denis Law, George Best, Bobby Charlton and Pat Crerand playing football of quality I have never seen in my life, and I was bitten and pledged allegiance to the Reds from then on.” Asked what one bit of wisdom he could impart on students, he said: “It’s corny, but work hard and play hard because you generate the satisfaction from both sides. “You’re happy that you’ve worked hard and done a good piece of work but go out and celebrate it. I have a good social life and I enjoy that. I put in 60 hours a week working but I also have a nice social life and I think that is an important part of a balanced life.”
“Employers will tell us what skills they need for their workforce and we have to be adaptive and be part of their community”
Tremendous turnout for Miliband talk By Susie May Beever News Editor An impressive 300 students turned out for David Miliband’s talk last week, which was held on Friday afternoon in the Herschel building’s Curtis Auditorium. The Labour MP and former Foreign Secretary gave a crowd-pleasing speech that covered a wide range of current issues from the Eurozone crisis to the BBC programme The Thick Of It. The politician opened with a summative reflection on today’s economic climate before taking questions from the student audience in the Herschel building’s Curtis Auditorium.
is still not representative enough of the entire population. “Political parties still don’t have any ordinary working people, and still only 28% of Labour members are women.” “The whole point of these talks is to bridge the gap between government and politics, which is often seen as elitist and out of touch with the rest of the country.” One member of the audience added “there are more members of the Conservative party called ‘Dave’ than there are women.” A third-year politics students asked Mr. Miliband if BBC programme The Thick Of It was “representative of modern day politics”, to which he jokily replied: “with everything funny there is a
“You are better off with a degree than without. There is a throttling economy that we need to change, but this will benefit from more students with degrees entering the job sector” “We’ve got to reform the state and pay attention to its needs”, the South Shields MP commented. “The big state doesn’t win over the small state, although the smart state wins every time.” The politician discussed both foreign and domestic affairs with the student audience, although later claimed “the questions seem to be mainly concerned with issues in this country”. One student’s query gave cause for discussion about political representation in today’s government, asking the MP: “Should Oxbridge graduates dominate parliament?”, to which the politician replied “no they shouldn’t.” “It’s not where you come from, it’s where you’re going. It’s not who your dad is, it’s what you believe in.” Mr. Miliband then added that politics
grain of truth. But there is absolutely no truth in this whatsoever.” In a separate interview with The Courier, Miliband discussed the rise in tuition fees and how they will affect the students of today and tomorrow. “I don’t agree with the fees at all. University is the best investment and there is a big danger people will be put off from applying as a result. If you have the ability then you should come to university.” As for today’s undergraduates going out into the world of work, Miliband added “you are always better off with a degree than without. There is a throttling economy that we need to change, but this will benefit from more students with degrees entering the job sector.”
SMILES ALL ROUND
Former Foreign Secretary David Miliband caught up with The Courier about tuition fees. Photo: Mark Summers
6.news
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Plant and Dec: study shows plants prefer Geordie accents By Anna Templeton News Editor Are your horticultural skills failing? A new study has revealed that talking to your greenery in a Geordie accent will reap results. Chris Bonnett, the owner of a fouracre nursery in Chelmsford, divided plants up into ten experimental groups and played them a variety of regional dialects. Some plants were played soundtracks from reality TV programmes such as The Only Way is Essex and Geordie Shore, others were exposed to a broad Yorkshire experience through Emmerdale, Pulp and The Geordie the Kaiser Chiefs. and Welsh In all, eight UK groups visibly regional accents were tried, along thrived while with American the Scottish, and Australian Chelsea and ones. Mancunian However, it was plants were the Newcastle accent that tristunted umphed in Chris Bonnett’s study, with these plants growing almost 10 per cent more than some others. “It’s long been thought that plants thrive if you talk to them so we decided to find out once and for all which dialects they respond to best,” Bonnett said. “The Geordie and Welsh groups visibly thrived and displayed enhanced growth while the Scottish, Chelsea and Mancunian plants were stunted.” Mr Bonnet said the winning plants were played Cheryl Cole and Ant and
Dec’s PJ and Duncan albums, as well as DVDs of the reality television programme Geordie Shore. “We discovered an average of between nine and ten per cent more growth,” Bonnett said. He said they gave the plants the same amount of sunlight, water and nutrients but started seeing differences in plant growth rate after exposure to different ranges of dialect. Prince Charles, who in 1986 was widely ridiculed for telling how he liked to talk to his plants, should also perhaps garden in silence, the report said, after London dialects failed to deliver.
BONNETT’S LEAGUE TABLE GEORDIE: Cheryl Cole, Ant and Dec, Geordie Shore WELSH: Pobol y Cwm, Charlotte Church, Tom Jones ESSEX: The Only Way Is Essex, Blur, Depeche Mode SCOUSE: Brookside, Desperate Scousewives, The Beatles YORKSHIRE: Emmerdale, Pulp, The Kaiser Chiefs SCOTTISH: Susan Boyle, The Proclaimers CHELSEA: Made In Chelsea, Florence and the Machine MANCUNIAN: Coronation Street, Oasis, Stone Roses
WHYAYE GLADIOLI Plants reputedly respond best to the Toon’s regional dialect Image: Manic Street Preacher
The Courier
news.7
Monday 22 October 2012
Tickets, money, passport... library bag? By Vu Phan The library’s social media team has decided to prolong the competition “Have Library Bag...Will Travel” to 14 December. Although the winner should have been announced on Monday last week, judging dates were changed to final days of the first and second terms. The competition was made perpetual with two judging dates to allow more students to get involved and share their travelling experiences with the library bag.
sign in the Austrian Alps, crawling 498 steps up to the Asinelli Tower of Bologna, waiting for the Hogwarts Express on Platform 9¾, sunbathing on Whitley Bay’s grass and doing many other things across different locations. When asked about the aim of the competition, the assistant librarian of Robinson Library Karina Forrest commented: “It can be called informative fun”, adding that the library bag is representative of the University and the library in an especially memorable way. Newcastle University’s students can submit their pictures either through facebook, Twitter or Flickr. The library’s
The library bag has been featured in the Austrian Alps, the Asinelli Tower of Bologna, waiting at Platform 9¾, and sunbathing in Whitley Bay
HERE, THERE AND EVERYWHERE
The competition started this summer with pictures of the library bag taken in various locations around the world. The idea was mainly inspired by two projects: the promotional strategy of an American pizza bar in West Virginia and the collection of travelling pictures created by a community of librarians from Gateshead Libraries. Small American bar used a promotional strategy where free pizza was offered in exchange for a picture taken with its T-shirt against the backdrop of famous landmarks, while the Gateshead librarians posted pictures of world libraries that they have visited while travelling. So far, the library bag has been featured hanging on the edge of a warning
Newcastle University’s iconic library bag has been pictured all over the world Photography: @nulibrs
social media team will be choosing three final photographs, after which our students will be able to determine the finalist with the number of ‘likes’ received on facebook. Forrest added “we feel it is important for students to be able to participate in this event”. She also mentioned that a fabulous prize, yet to be revealed, is up for grabs, which has been specially designed for this competition.
For more information on “Have Library Bag...Will Travel” visit: www.facebook.com/NULibraries twitter.com/nulibrs
Student business triumphs in Young Enterprise competition By Leanne Penning For most students, summer is a period of relaxation. However, for five young entrepreneurs from Newcastle University’s Business School, summer was also a period of great success. Students on the Marketing and Management degree have been collecting awards galore, all stemming from an entrepreneurial module they took as part of their undergraduate degrees. The competition, run by Young Enterprise, aims to help undergraduates establish real businesses, providing invaluable experience for the future. The team, known as Escalate, have created an innovative waterproof golf towel, Dry-Ver. The product consists of double-sided cloth, with one side made of water resistant material, putting an end to endless soggy towels accumulating on the golf course. With inspiration from former professional golfer Richard, Dry-Ver is targeted at the four million plus golfers in the country, designed to clip onto a player’s golf bag and keep the cotton side dry. Elected as regional winners for the North East, Escalate competed in the national finals held at the Guildhall in London. They beat over 300 other student companies from across the UK, winning the coveted title of Start Up Company. Due to their national success, Escalate were entered into the European finals as the UK’s representatives. The finals were held in Macedonia this
July and had teams from 11 countries showcasing their businesses through a culmination of interviews, demonstrations and presentation After what must have been an anxious wait, the judges had made their decision. The candidates were gathered, the drums were rolling, and the winner was announced: Escalate! They outperformed 15,000 across the continent, winning the all-important trophy as well as €1000 to help fund their business. Faye Longridge, managing direcEscalate tor of Escalate, competed in said of the expethe national rience, “we never finals, beating dreamed of winover 300 other ning the national student com- competition, let alone the Europanies from pean one. I was across the UK, stunned when our Company name was read out. “The Young Enterprise Start Up Programme has been an amazing experience and we can’t wait to see what the future holds.” After numerous prototypes, Escalate have secured patent pending status for their product and are hoping to market their first batch of towels locally in the North East. Having international winners in their midst, there can only be positive consequences for the University’s Business School.
BRIGHT FUTURE
Marketing student business team ‘Escalate’ show off their achievement Photography: European Enterprise
8.news
Six years for rapist By George Sandeman News Editor An international student studying in the UK has been found guilty of raping and assaulting another international student in Newcastle. Judge John Milford sentenced him to six years in prison after the jury at Newcastle Crown Court found him with a 10-2 A 10-2 major- guilty majority verdict. ity verdict at The judge told Newcastle him: “I have absolutely no doubt Crown Court you planned, one saw Judge way or another, John Milford you were going to sentence the have sexual interstudent to six course with her. years in prison. “You refused to use contracepIt is believed tion, expressing he will be de- in effect the hope ported after his you would get her pregnant and sentence furthermore you took ... photographs. “Another aggravating feature of this case is you attempted to apply pressure upon her to change her evidence right up to the night before the case actually started.” It is believed the Home Office will deport him after he has served his sentence.
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
“How would you deal with Malcolm Tucker if you were in The Thick Of It?” continued from page 1 because otherwise we’re not going to win the next election and then we can figure out where each pound goes.” Onwurah is part of what is widely described as the ‘promising and talented’ 2010 intake of MPs. Speaking about the atmosphere amongst them she said: “We’ve got more in common with each other, partly because we weren’t around during the expenses scandal which to a greater or lesser extent has traumatised and impacted, rightly so, a lot of our predecessors and we weren’t part of that. We came in during an election during which politicians had arguably their lowest level of respect ever so I hope that has made us more humble and more determined to show what we believe in. Amongst our intake there, I can best describe it as a collegiate feeling.” Addressing the issue of tax avoidance and whether there was a moral responsibility involved, she said: “Absolutely and what I’ve found insulting and crass is the attitude that ‘if it’s not illegal, it’s fine. That you’re either a criminal or you’re okay.’ Tax is what we pay in order to have a society where the weak are protected, where you can walk safely down a street, where you can own property and where you can get an education. Absolutely there is a moral obligation to pay tax.” Asked if London Mayor Boris Johnson was cut out for the top job given his recent, almost iconic popularity and success during the London Olympics, she said with a laugh: “Absolutely not. I didn’t like the way he campaigned [during the Mayoral elections], I don’t think he takes responsibility for either his ac-
tions or responsibilities, he seems to see himself as the court jester who people will love into the King’s place. And if you read what he wrote as a journalist than his views are actually quite dangerous in many ways.” Asked who she felt more sorry for after Piers Morgan’s recent interview with Iran’s President Ahmadinejad, she joked: “I don’t think I feel sorry for either of them.” Naming her favourite places in the city she mentioned Town Moor, the Tyne Bridge market on Sun-
days and the newly renovated city library. Asked if and how she found time to relax from her job, she said: “I’ve been told by people I trust that if I don’t find time, I’ll go mad so I do try find time. I need countryside so I do like going to Hexham, Whitley Bay, Tynemouth, Holy Island and I’ve taken up the piano again.” Asked what her abiding memories were of growing up in Tyneside, she said: “The strength and warmth of the
local community and people, very cold weather and the beautiful centre of the city. I think I was very lucky to grow up in such an environment.” Asked how she would deal with Malcolm Tucker if she ever found herself in The Thick of It, she said: “I’ve dealt with a lot of bullies from the schoolyard to the male-dominated engineering industry, I hope I would deal with it by laughing at him because humour is always the best way to put people like him down, but we’ll see.”
QUESTION TYNE Chi gives her thoughts on ‘pleb-gate’, tax avoidance and the next general election Photo: Tony Bone
The Courier
nationalstudentnews.9
Monday 22 October 2012
‘Levelling up’ on job prospects By Joe Wood Three Newcastle University students have secured permanent work contracts at the video-game developer Reflections, based in Newcastle. Reflections have been involved in a range of games including editions of the Just Dance series, as well as the highly acclaimed Driver games. They are also currently working on titles including Just Dance 4 and the first-person shooter Far Cry 3. The three students (Jack Taylor, 22, Jordan Wise, 22 and Sam Collier, 23) all studied the same MSc course in Video Game Engineering here at Newcastle, and graduated in Summer 2012. They were all offered full-time employment at the studio after they took
Job Title: Front of House Staff Employer: Homemade Burger Co. Closing date: 07.11.2012 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: Front of House staff are required to work on a zero hours contract at the restaurant in the Metrocentre. You will be interacting with customers, cash handling, and all other general duties as directed. Person requirements: You will be enthusiastic and confident with faultless customer service skills. You must be able to work well within our team and have good communication skills. Location: Gateshead. Job Title: Exam Invigilators Employer: Northumberland County Council Closing date: 07.11.2012 Salary: £8.15 per hour Basic job description: Exam Invigilators are required to work various part-time hours at Astley Community High School in Seaton Delaval. You will work as part of a pool of invigilators ensuring that exams are carried out in accordance with the rules set out by the exam boards. Person requirements: You will be expected to approach the job in a serious and professional manner with emphasis being attached to punctuality and reliability. Experience of working in a school environment would be an advantage although training will be provided. Location: Seaton Deleval. Job Title: Tutor Employer: TutorAid Closing date: 31.10.12 Salary: £12 - £22 per hour Basic job description: Tutoraid is a vibrant new tutoring agency. Tutors are closely matched with their students to make sure that they can reach their full potential. The role involves home tutoring students of all ages and abilities in the subjects that you feel comfortable with. Candidates will help students improve their grades and draw up individual strategies for future success. Person requirements: Candidates need to be currently studying for or have a degree. They also need to have or be willing to submit to a full Enhanced Criminal Record Bureau check. These can be processed at cost price upon request. Location: North East England.
part in work experience as part of their studies. They impressed the studio so much that at the end of the internship they were offered permanent contracts, starting 93 per cent this month. of Newcastle from a press release graduates are In Jordan explained in full-time how he “would recommend a employment placement in industry to anyone who is considering it. It just makes everything you learn come together clearly.” This opportunity for Jack, Jordan and Sam of a work placement, provided by Newcastle University, highlights how, despite decreasing job-opportunities in the work place, there are still prospects for students.
Job Title: Sales Assistant Employer: Laura Ashley Closing date: 30.10.12 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: A Sales Assistant is required to work 16 hours per week at the store in the Metrocentre, Gateshead. Duties will include liaising with customers to create sales, stock replenishment, cash handling and other general store duties. Candidates must be fully flexible Mon-Sun (including Boxing Day and other Bank Holidays) as days/shifts will vary. Person requirements: Candidates should have excellent customer service, communication & numeracy skills, be presentable, enthusiastic and committed. Location: Gateshead. Job Title: Personal Assistant Employer: Disability North Closing date: 26.10.12 Salary: £8.00 per hour Basic job description: A Personal Assistant is required to work 10 hours per week for a 32 year old female who is in a period of recovery from mental health problems. The purpose of the personal assistant job is to encourage and accompany the lady in social settings and to take part in therapeutic activities. Person requirements: The position is subject to the satisfactory result of an Enhanced Criminal Records Bureau search and references being sought. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience - Marketing Executive Employer: CPD Health and Fitness Closing date: 28.10.12 Salary: £600 bursary upon completion of placement. Basic job description: CPD provide accredited online workshops on a range of skills and knowledge to support those working in health and fitness. We require some much needed support and guidance with marketing our products. This will include devising a marketing strategy, industry research, use of social media, search engine optimisation and guidance on other forms of advertising our products. Person requirements: You should be able to work independently where necessary and possess excellent communication skills. Strong IT skills are highly desired with some
The Director of Technology at Reflections, Michael Troughton, said, ‘They have brought a lot of fresh ideas to the company and it’s great to see, that is why we decided to hire them full-time.’ Mr Troughton’s praise of the students indicates a positive attitude among some businesses to taking on recent graduates in their workplace, who can provide new innovative approaches to their work. This news comes at a time when the most recent government statistics show that 93 per cent of Newcastle University students are in full-time employment or further education six months after completing their course. These statistics along with such examples as this, where students are entering their ideal career path, provide promising optimism for all at Newcastle University.
experience updating websites; our website uses Joomla and Moodle. The ability and confidence to use social media tools is essential. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience - Chromatography Device, Design and Evaluation Employer: Biotoolomics Ltd Closing date: 28.10.12 Salary: £600 bursary upon completion of placement Basic job description: We are currently developing a serial of filter devices for the purification of bio-pharmaceutical drugs. Each device is made of plastics for disposable applications. Absorptive particles are filled inside each device under pressure. The device is operated at a pressure of up to 4 bars. The aim of this project is to design and evaluate such devices in all areas, to ensure it meets the required specifications. Person requirements: A student from a mechanical engineering background with solid knowledge and understanding of mechanics and material sciences is desired. Hands-on experience with plastic materials will also be helpful. Location: Durham. Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience - Laboratory Operations Technician Employer: Geneius Closing date: 28.10.12 Salary: £600 bursary upon completion of placement Basic job description: We are seeking an individual to focus on the introduction of a new three-tier waste management system across the business. An analysis of the costs saved resulting from this venture will also be required. You will lead on this discrete project aimed at the splitting of yellow clinical waste into true clinical waste, discovering which can be disposed of by alternative and much cheaper means. You will work under the direction of the Operations Manager with input from Geneius’ Health and Safety Consultant. Person requirements: You must be personable with an interest in waste and sustainable business solutions. This placement would be suitable for those with a science background and prior experience in biological, medical or clinical subjects. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.
Exeter student jailed for role in London riots
Bristol law students win case for man, innocent
Exeter University
University of Bristol
A student at Exeter University has been given a two year sentence for taking part in last year’s London riots. Laura Johnson, originally from Orpington in south-east London, was charged with robbery and handling stolen goods from a nearby Currys store. Johnson, who studies English and Italian at Exeter, originally denied the charges, which h e r lawyer disputed as “c o m pletely out of character”. Judge Patricia Lees however declared the student played a “pivotal role” in the looting, adding to the “overall lawlessness” which resulted in last summer’s riots.
Students at Bristol University’s law school are jubilant after succeeding in a bid to prove a defendant’s innocence. Postgraduate students Mark Allum and Ryan Jendoubi helped in 50 year-old William Beck’s appeal for innocence, after he was wrongly accused of armed robbery. The crime, which took place over thirty years ago in Livingstone, Edinburgh, w a s eventually dismissed after the students’ proof of Beck’s alibi, 40 miles away from the scene of the crime. Beck said of the students “I cannot thank them enough for their hard work, I will forever be in their debt.”
Oxford students shocked by anti-drinking campaign Oxford University A campaign poster designed to spread awareness of the issue of student drinking has been promptly ousted as a result of its ‘shock’ factor. The posters, which alarm female students of the link between binge drinking and susceptibility to sexual attacks, were removed from some O x ford colleges d u e to the shocking content and message that they promoted. The campaign was accused by feminists of endorsing rape as a direct consequence of drinking rather than an unprovoked criminal offence. Photography: shawncampbell / zoonabar (Flickr)
Leeds Uni confess to student tweet tracking Leeds University
Leeds University admitted last week to monitoring students on public social networking sites. The revelations follow the claims that several students were blocked from the portal service last year after tweeting negative comments about the university, despite having deleted them from the site shortly after. Tweets included comments describing a lecturer as ‘boring’, among other remarks. A spokesperson f o r Leeds University replied saying, “we can conf irm that the ISS accounts of a small number of students were temporarily blocked after they made negative comments about lecturers during university hours.” Susie May Beever News Editor
10.comment
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Too much dirty talk? T
his week sees S.H.A.G (Sexual Health Advice and Guidance Week) return to Newcastle. It claims to provide an open and friendly environment where you can “generally talk... about sex and sexual health”, in an “informative and entertaining way”, yet is there too much emphasis on sex at Uni? During the week, free condoms will be issued in aid to promote sex safe. The thesis behind it is of course to protect students’ wellbeing and health, but surely the whole exercise just promotes sex in general. The 21st Century seems to have given way to an era in which people are encouraged to talk about their personal lives, and many do so willingly. Times have definitely changed and sex is now much more publicised than ever before. Universities are aiming to adapt to this by using S.H.A.G Week. Last year 100% of students questioned voted for the return of S.H.A.G Week and the feedback received was, on a whole, incredibly positive. The same level of success is hoped for again this year. Among those questioned, 85% believed they were now more aware of issues relating to sexual health. This undoubtedly shows the event was a major success but still, in the back of my mind, I ask, “how has it come to this? From the Victorian period that daren’t say ‘table leg’ in fear of it being deemed too promiscuous, to a stall in front of our SU offering free Chlamydia tests and handing out flyers about sex.” Has the need for advice on sexual
health been taken out of proportion, to extreme levels? Is it really necessary to shout and dance about sex? Perhaps S.H.A.G Week is the only way to draw the attention to the focus of sexual health and engage the target group; University students.
“The need for advice on sexual health been taken out of proportion”
I’m trying to imagine a similar event but placed elsewhere, in front of a library or law courts. The whole situation would surely then be criticised as entirely inappropriate. However, as we’re University students, it seems S.H.A.G Week automatically stereotypes us and we’re placed in a bubble, a class of our own, in which it allows broadcasting the ins and outs of sex as socially acceptable. The idea of making students aware of sexual health issues and providing a comfortable environment to do so in is commendable, yet I question whether it should be publicly advertised. Kate Dewey
S.H.A.G Week: not as rude as it may sound
Further harmful exposure to sex, or a rightful campaign to increase awareness of sexual issues?
ESTA INNES WELFARE OFFICER
S
.H.A.G (Sexual Health Advice and Guidance Week) is back on campus this week by popular demand. In the survey conducted by the Students’ Union at the end of the last academic year, students voted this as the number one campaign they wanted to see; because it affects them! Sex, relationships and body hang-ups are important issues for all our students in some shape or form. Yes, we give out free contraception and offer students the chance to take free Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea tests. But, this is the Union responsibly reacting to real issues that affect a vast
majority of students. Some of the campaigns critics may say this equates to promoting sex and promiscuity but whether we like it or not 1 in 14 people under the age of 25 will get Chlamydia and this summer there was a huge breakout of Gonorrhoea in the North East. During our Freshers’ Week this September, over 500 students took a Chlamydia and Gonorrheoa test, clearly showing our students care about these issues too. S.H.A.G Week encompasses a diverse range of activities around the topic of sex and sexual attitudes, including a debate on Monday night about sexualisation in the media and a public lecture on the history of sex.
SAFE SEX
Do we put too much focus on sex at Uni? Image: Digo Souza/ Writing on Mall (Flickr)
To respond to this week’s articles visit
thecourieronline. co.uk/comment
S.H.A.G week is not just for the sexually active either - it’s also for students with opinions on culture, those who want to prepare themselves for when they are ready to have sex and those who want to learn about personal health more generally.
“This summer there was a huge breakout of Gonorrhoea in the North East” Sex is something everyone is going to experience at some point in their lives. Putting the subject in a deep dark corner out of reach and out of sight will only increase unwanted pregnancies and STDs. It could also make people think they have something to be ashamed or embarrassed about as a taboo topic, instead of seeking advice and support. So don’t shy away... let’s talk about sex!
Want advice on sex and other issues? Head to the Student Advice Centre in the Students’ Union, or visit them online: www.nusu.co.uk/SAC
The dark side to the ‘light alternative’ HARRIET SALE
L
adies, ladies, the time has come for Cadbury to launch their new chocolate indulgence: the Crispello, ‘a little treat’ for women. Wait, Cadbury are launching a gender-specific chocolate bar? Haven’t Nestle already exhausted that with their Yorkie bars that are “not for girls”? Anyway, following a decrease in recent sales, Kraft, the parent company of Cadbury, are bringing out their first new chocolate bar for over a decade and, as it is believed that health-conscious women are responsible for this dip, they are once again delving into the gender-based marketing tool kit. So, the Crispello, (doesn’t sound that yummy) is only 165 calories, a light crisp-based chocolate bar in three resealable sections, apparently a format women are particularly attracted to. Who, may I ask, saves half a chocolate bar? Please. Indeed the new bar will be over 100 calories less than a Mars bar, but only 10 calories less than a Flake, and it wasn’t so long ago that Flakes were advertised as a lighter alternative. The whole sections thing sounds rather familiar of the overly optimistic thought that by splitting king sized
bars into two, people wouldn’t eat them both... Food for weight-loss is permanently being targeted at women; just think of Special K and the red dress. All these layers of advertising, but when it comes to it, it’s only too easy to forget that just because it is ‘reduced fat’ does not mean it’s ‘fat free’.
“Genderspecified food is taking it a bit too far” Gender-based marketing seems to be very popular right now with Victoria Pendleton bringing out a new range of bikes for women and Lego’s new Pink Ghetto. Gender-specific marketing obviously can and does work; by no means can everything be unisex but maybe gender-specified food is taking it a bit too far? I don’t think men and women think differently about food. If anything, the fact that Yorkies are “not for girls” and branded with the chunky man just makes girls want to have one more. You may be a man and want a lighter chocolate alternative, but will you be seen eating a Crispello?
The Courier
.11
Monday 22 October 2012
Comment
Comment Editors: Georgina Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor: Jennifer Evans thecourieronline.co.uk/comment courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment
Should 16 yearolds have the vote? JAKE UNSWORTH
YES A
s you will have heard, Alex Salmond, the leader of the Scottish National Party, wants Scotland to be an independent nation. That was his election manifesto headline when he won a majority in 2011. He has agreed with David Cameron that there will be a referendum on Scottish independence in 2014. Part of that agreement is that 16 and 17 year-olds will be able to vote in this referendum. 16 year olds should not, in a perfect world, have the vote. A lot of them aren’t ready for the responsibility. You would be forgiven for thinking this an odd way to begin an article arguing the reverse position. The problem is that we do not live in a perfect world; there is one solid, and further (less solid), reasons why 16 year-olds must be allowed to express their opinion on, in this case, a matter of national sovereignty. The first regards taxation, in particular income tax. 16 and 17 year-olds are subject to this tax; 25% of 16 and 17 year olds have left education and entered the complex world of employment and
income tax. There is a famous political philosophical notion as old as the English Civil Wars, it was the slogan of the American Revolution of the Eighteenth Century and is as pertinent today; “No taxation without representation”. You can’t take money off someone, without giving them a say in how it is spent. It’s too simple for me to write more words about it. There are at least two ways that we could overcome this problem and not give 16 year-olds the right to vote, and by extension, take them out of the income tax system. The first is to force them to stay on in education of some form. However, it is hardly a ‘perfect world’ if the government is forcing you to do something when you’re arguably capable of making up your own mind. On the other hand, it could simply be that 16 and 17 year olds are allowed to keep all their income, and not have the taxman get his grubby mitts on it. Of course there are problems with this too, not only does the taxman need to get his grubby hands on all he can get at the minute, but it’s hardly progressive to take people out of tax – denying them a stake in the society that tax money builds. However there is another reason, not as old as the Civil Wars, but equally relevant. It is the degree of expectation that modern society is placing on our young people. The UK’s population is getting older, we’re also getting accustomed to greater luxury and working less productively towards paying for it. That’s why as a nation we owe a lot of money. The problem is that we’re going to be
asking our 16 and 17 year olds (and a lot younger and a little older) to pay for it. They’re the ones who will work for at least 50 years of their life, pay a great deal in tax towards the lifestyles of the baby-boomers, and get far less of the state-controlled luxuries which past generations enjoyed. They should vote because we need them to grow up fast, and giving them responsibility (possibly before they’re ready for it) might just help.
SABINE KUCHER
NO T
he recent deal over the Scottish referendum will lower the voting age – at least for the referendum – to 16, and if the public’s growing sympathy is anything to go by, politicians will soon have no other choice than to establish it for all elections. This would be unwise. It would not achieve any of the goals set out by its proponents: The opinions at the ballot boxes will not be radically diversified and I doubt there will be an increase in
voter turnout. While increasing turnout is an admirable aim to work towards, it was far lower than average for those aged 18-24 in the 2010 general election– only 44%. All this measure would really do is increase the pool of non voters disproportionately.
“16 year-olds are more likely to punish parties at the ballot boxes” What about no taxation without representation then? 16 year-olds can pay taxes and they are affected by the policies passed at Westminster, true, but so are children when they spend money – by VAT. If it is about income tax, what about low-income earners or stay-athome mums? But the most important question is: Do we really think 16 year-olds are mature enough to vote? We don’t trust them to drink responsibly or to not start smoking. They can’t get married before the age of 18 without parental consent or sign a legally binding contract. Under-18s also need parental consent to join the armed forces and even then minors will not be deployed.
TOO YOUNG? Scottish Referendum sparks new debate to drop voting age. Image: Alex Lee (Flickr)
We do trust 16 year-olds with some choices (the age of consent is 16, they are criminally responsible earlier than that), but these rights are granted to allow minors to gain more rights progressively so they can grow into the responsibilities that come with these. However, as a society, we do not and should not trust people at that age to make life-changing choices with a longterm effect. Their maturity levels do vary concerning their ability to understand the consequences of their actions, but for most their teenage years are formative ones. It is then that they learn to question authority and will be exposed to new ideas. They will develop a different, more informed view of the world, which is important in forming a political opinion. Evidence from countries with a lower voting age suggests that 16 and 17 yearolds tend to vote for smaller and more radical parties. The parties on the radical right tend to do particularly well with that age group. Their populist messages are simple demands that often don’t recognise real-world obstacles. 16 year -lds are also more likely to punish parties at the ballot boxes for recent gaffes rather than look at the long-term consequences of policies. Voting is the most precious right and most serious matter in a democracy. I don’t believe 16 year-olds are old enough, some 18 year-olds won’t be either. Sadly the law doesn’t take individual characteristics into account – one size fits all. If we need an arbitrary line, I’d rather it be 18 than 16.
12.comment
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Caffeine high ADAM THOMPSON
O
n 14 October 2012 Felix Baumgartner jumped from a stratospheric balloon teetering 24 miles above Earth. He plummeted for 4 minutes 22 seconds, reaching speeds of 833.9 miles an hour, before opening his parachute and landing safely in New Mexico. His body hurtled through the atmosphere faster than the speed of sound: for a few brief moments a falling star, fixing his eyes on whatever ocean or mountain range, desert or rainforest he saw fit. What a boon to be Felix Baumgartner on 14 October 2012. With this in mind, it is unfortunate to note that Felix and those that watched have Red Bull energy drinks to thank for this most inspiring feat of human capability. It’s a case of one small step for man, one giant leap for rusty water that gives
you stomach cramps. It is even more depressing to consider the collective shrug that greeted the news. Is it not distressing to know we are now so jaded, so blasé, that the only reason we have for seeking the sublime is to pin an advert to it? Man has mapped the world and cured disease in recent centuries; he has grown wings and sprouted fins, yet it is apparent the appetite for exploration and advancement is diminishing – unless it bears fruit to a new app, of course.
“We should celebrate what the human race has achieved in the past” We should celebrate what the human race has achieved in the past and take
every opportunity to progress even further. Science and investigation has broadened our knowledge and, perhaps as importantly, continued to humble us. We once thought the Earth was flat, that the stars revolved around us and that plagues were a punishment from God. Now we know better. Now we understand the Earth is more like a weirdly squashed egg and that we are just another spot on the night sky, huddled in a mercifully pleasant and agreeable fragment of the universe. We need moments like this to congratulate ourselves on what we are capable of and to nudge ourselves to continue groping in the dark for more. The recent discovery of the Higgs Boson was, shamefully, met with a similarly perplexed groan. Shortly after falling to Earth at the speed of a bullet, Baumgartner had these words for the journalists that greeted him: “Sometimes you have to go up really high to understand how small you are.” Quite right.
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FREE FALL Felix Baumgartner was the first skydiver ever to break the sound barrier. Image: NASA (Wikimedia)
Marines should face up to murder charge In the wake of the arrest of Marines accused of murder, Chris Middleton discusses whether their trial is just CHRIS MIDDLETON
F
ive Royal Marines have been charged with murder over a death in Afghanistan last year. Officials have said the incident involved an “engagement with an insurgent” and that no civilians were involved. It is reported that a video was discovered on a laptop belonging to one of the Marines after he had been arrested for an unrelated charge. The video allegedly shows Royal Marines standing around an unarmed and injured ‘insurgent’ while discussing whether to give him first aid. The video is said to cut out before anything happens. However it has been confirmed that the man died. If charged, the Marines could face trial in a civilian court. But is it right to charge these Marines with murder? Soldiers kill everyday, it’s their job to kill. They aren’t usually labelled as murderers though. It is not considered murder for a soldier to kill an enemy combatant because it is understood that they are at war. But being at war doesn’t give soldiers the freedom to kill anyone. The Geneva convention laid down rules for war and the humanitarian treatment of victims of war, which the UK signed and abides by. The fourth convention prohibits ‘total war’, in
which there is no difference between civilian and combatant. This means troops in Afghanistan are prohibited from shooting unarmed insurgents. Killing a civilian whilst at war should have the same consequences as killing a civilian in England regardless of military training.
“Killing innocent people would undermine the entire operation”
This is especially true when you take into consideration the fact that the reason the government gives for being at war with Afghanistan is to liberate it’s people and to secure it’s borders. If this is the goal it becomes even more important to not kill innocent people as this would undermine the entire operation. It is also important to note that this isn’t the first time British troops have been accused of misconduct. During the Iraq war there were many complaints of troops using torture and humiliation tactics on prisoners. These incidents must be addressed as they would in society and soldiers must become responsible for their actions otherwise they become the very tyranny they fight against.
The Courier
comment.13
Monday 22 October 2012
Savilegate: Can the BBC ‘Fix it’?
LYDIA CARROLL
ON THE BLOG
#2 - Abortion: The choice is yours
SAVILE SAGA Allegations continue to surface against both Savile and the BBC Image: JMB (Wikimedia)
SIMON HARWOOD
U
nless you’ve spent the last three weeks in quarantine, someone will have asked you for your opinion on Jimmy Savile, the late presenter and DJ, who the police believe may have sexually abused up to 60 people since 1959. Questions have been raised regarding whether the BBC, where he spent the majority of his career, were aware of any suspicious behaviour and investigated any claims made against him, and thus if they are vicariously liable for his actions. The episode as a whole has given us a glimpse into the darker side of the nation’s psyche. Retrospectively vilifying a prominent figure is now, it seems, a cultural pillar of British society along with Downton Abbey and Sunday roasts. We are yet again going through the gruesome motions of publicly humiliating someone unfortunate enough to have their sexual habits aired in public, in this case a disturbing “predilection”
for young girls, according to The Independent. Those who try to defend Savile, if only his family, are drowned out by those who want to see his corpse dug up, dragged through London by his rotting heels and slapped in front of a jury. Predictably, a feeding frenzy has ensued, as is usually the case when the kind of people for whom Heat is a serious read discover their favourite celebrities aren’t saints behind closed doors.
“This kind of behaviour in an organisation of the BBC’s scale is startling” It seems no one in the media is safe: Dave Lee Travis has had to deny ‘groping’ allegations against him, and similarly the BBC are considering John Peel’s legacy after claims he made a 15 year old pregnant. It is important we see through the hot
air and come to terms with the fact that what we now call sexual abuse might have been endemic not just within the BBC, but throughout Britain in the 1960s and ‘70s. By today’s standards, however, the allegations raise serious questions about the morality of those in control of the BBC at the time. But part of the reason this case is so intriguing (not to mention difficult) is that we are, essentially, looking at it in historical terms. Decades have passed since Savile was in alleged champion child-molesting form. Why did it take a television show for those allegedly abused to come forward? And is the emotional reaction we are seeing the kind of response the abused wish for, or would they prefer a careful, methodical, and respectful approach? In no way am I suggesting we accept his actions and move on. This kind of behaviour in an organisation of the BBC’s scale is startling, and if they (among other organisations Savile was associated with) were aware of it, we should use this as a lesson against the sometimes-zealous faith we put in public figures. It’s not hard to imagine why the BBC would try and keep it under wraps if they knew. Savile was a big draw for them, presenting Jim’ll Fix It and Top of the Pops. His exposure would have crippled two of the corporation’s
flagship shows. Secondly, had others been involved in similar behaviour, they would not have wanted to draw attention to the culture and practices at the BBC in an era when guilt-free sex clashed with the hierarchical and maleoriented mores of previous decades. The BBC now finds itself nailed to a cross being pelted by its past. Having (rightly and inevitably) called for two enquiries, the station’s reputation can only be undermined by the actions and decisions of previous employees. Many see the shelving of a planned Newsnight investigation of Savile as evidence of guilt, despite the BBC claiming this was done for “editorial” reasons. Did the institutional structures of the BBC allow Savile to prey on young women? Did he use his charitable reputation to cover his tracks? The wider implications of the story will develop over the coming months, maybe years. But you can bet more than a round of trebles that every media personality from Nick Grimshaw to Noel Edmonds nearly choked on their latte when the news broke, before promptly wiping their browsing history and locking their closets. Maybe this is just the morbid reminder Britain needs, that the cult of celebrity we so actively foster can also shield those personalities from the standards of regular public life.
As we sit – you in the Students’ Union, waiting for your study group; me at home, writing this and drinking £3.59 ‘Tesco House Soave’ wine out of a mug – there is a rebate in this country discussing the possibilities of a reduction in the abortion limit. No doubt you were aware of this already, especially if you read last week’s Courier piece debating the issue. Ultimately, the abortion debate and all controversies arising from it stem from whether the individual champions the civil rights of the pregnant woman, or those of the speck of life gestating inside her. In the abortion debate, the rights of the foetus are inextricable from women’s reproductive rights. This means the rights of at least one or the other must become infringed. The current 24-week limit serves as the best possible compromise between the two. I have no issue with people holding views of a pro-life stance. I disagree with them. I can argue against them. But I believe in their right to hold that view, and have control over their own reproductive systems. It is the extreme methods of the minority of pro-life supporters - to try to forcibly impose their choice onto someone else’s body, the consequences of which they would not have to deal with - which have repelled me. I’m talking about the aggressive methods of protest, which focus on pressuring women through guilt, or intimidation. So many pro-life arguments find it easier to think of women in terms of disembodied wombs, purely some kind of baby-hosting petri-dish, when discussing the issue. This is to forget that foetuses inconveniently have a person wrapped around them; and that the rights of this already fully grown person could take priority to that of the potential person. In debates of abortion, women’s bodies become the battleground. All this leaves a distinctly shit-tastic taste in my mouth. But then that could be the wine, by this point. Nonetheless, you’ve probably discerned that my view is pro-choice. To emphasise; prochoice. That means I respect the choices made by someone else about what to do. The options for abortion must be open to them. When you tell other people whether they can have abortions, we are getting dangerously close to the territory of telling women what to do with their vaginas. And no-one should spend their lives telling you what to do with your vagina, with the exceptions of maybe, say, Jeremy Kyle, or your mum. Of all people, I will leave it to US Vice President Joe Biden to play us out: “With regard to abortion, I accept my church’s position on abortion. I accept it in my personal life. But I refuse to impose it on equally devout Christians and Muslims and Jews. I do not believe that we have a right to tell women they can’t control their body. It’s a decision between them and their doctor.” J. Biddy! There’s my boy! A man whose middle name is Robinette has only gone and made one of the sanest pro-choice statements I’ve ever heard! Bit of a hard-hitting column this week? Well, if you’re a fan of public humiliation and being patronised by confectionary, why not join me next week, when I will be eating ten of Cadbury’s less intimidating ‘female friendly’ chocolate bars, and seeing what happens. Sigh.
14.
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Make-up challenge: What happens when a male novice takes over It is no secret that boys are often the first to criticise when they see a girl wearing too much or too little make-up, commenting that they either look like drag queens or a total mess. So what happens when you let a boy decide on what your face should look like? In this case, it is certainly not pretty. With the help of TCTV and a photographer to document the trauma, we have captured amateur Tom Nicholson’s attempt to give Beauty Editor Annie Morgan a suitable look for a night-out in Sinners. Here, she shares her distressing experience.
Step one: Applying your base
Step two: Applying lipstick 1
The correct way:
Apply foundation evenly onto your skin, making sure to blend it in with your neck in order to achieve a natural-looking base. You can either use a foundation, a tinted moisturizer, or a BB cream to do this. You then want to use a bronzer, blusher and/or highlighter to create a healthy looking complexion, and define your features.
Tom’s way:
Seemingly terrified, Tom started it all off by applying foundation all over my face, but concentrating especially on my jaw line to give my skin a mask-like appearance. If you are following Tom’s method, you do not want your facial skin tone to match the rest of your body. To brighten up my complexion, Tom added a bit of orange blusher on my forehead and on my left eyelid. Next, he smothered BB cream (a substitute for foundation) on top of all the foundation and blusher that he had already applied, and he did this using a blusher brush.
2
The correct way:
If you don’t have a particularly steady hand or are too scared you will go overboard, use a lip liner first to ensure you have a clear idea of where the lipstick should be going and also to stop your lipstick from bleeding. Then use a lip brush to ensure you are applying the lipstick in layers, and so you get a more controlled result.
Tom’s way:
Tom applied a dark purple lipstick on my lips, being careful to extend the lipstick onto my skin as well, for a nice smudged-lipstick ‘Robert Smith-from-The Cure’ look.
Be sure to check out the video on The Courier website: www.thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty
The Courier
.15
Monday 22 October 2012
Step four: Filling your ey ebrows
Step three: w o d a h s e y e g Applyin 3
4
The corr
Ideally you doect way : solid blocks of not want to fill in your ral brow colo colour. You want to use brows to the point where ur, and imitat a e the hairs by pencil or shadow similar they look like to gradually filli Tom’s way: ng in any gapsyour natu. Tom filled in my eyebrows was right. with a black eyeliner penc il. Nothing ab out that
the statement
n pposed to be ay: ere already sua more neutral eye. This ca e The cstoagre,reitcwtaswclear my lipsldwha pl r fo ve gone creating a sim
ou or by At this and so Tom sh d eyeshadows part of my lookther by using earth-tone be achieved eier look. winged eyelin purple eyeen some brightbold enough th d an : s, y lid a y ’t w to m weren Tom’st a bronze eyeshadow onde der eye bags well. In Tom’s world, as deci d my un Tom pu e es H ey . y at m th r of de p shadow on to bit of purple eyeshadow un so I needed a ags are definitely a thing. statement eyeb
Before
Step five: Applying eyeliner and mascara 5
After
The correct way:
You want to keep your liner as close to your lash as possible, and if you wan create a winged effect, extend the eyeli t to mascara to your upper and lower lashener past your upper lash line. Then apply s (not your eyebrows).
Tom’s way:
Tom started to feel inspired and told eyes”, so he lined my upper and lowe me he was going to give me “Cleopatra but he didn’t succeed in staying very r lashes with some black liquid eyeliner, close to my lash lines. He then finished it off with a bit of blac k mascara, on my eyebrows of course.
Photography by Yordanka Georgieva
Tom actually exceeded my expectations in that he did not give me turquoise cheeks or put blusher on my lips and eyeliner on my chin. From a distance I think that this make-up could possibly pass, and particularly so in the dingy darkness of, say, Sinners. Although I am not sure I will be replicating this look anytime soon although, it could be a good one for Halloween. Make-up is supposed to be used to accentuate pretty features, conceal any flaws and overall improve one’s appearance and I think it is fair to say that although I may not be a pretty sight with no make-up on, I did look considerably worse after Tom’s attempts to beautify my face. We had already discussed the probability of me looking like a clown but it did not cross my mind that with a bit of dark make-up I could look like such a menacing clown. Although he could probably have made me look a whole lot worse, I do not suspect I will be letting Tom do my make-up again anytime soon.
16.features
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
“We only want number ones”: the sweet life of Palma Violets
Before their headline gig at The Cluny, Online Music Editor Sophie Coletta sat down with next-big-thing NME cover stars Palma Violets for a chat about childhood sweets, French cults and how their debut album is going to sound like a greatest hits set It’s the nightmare scenario when you’re conducting an interview. Twenty minutes of easy conversation, playful questions and writerfriendly quotes... and the recording device has failed. In most cases, it’s cause to scrap the entire piece. Or, if you’re Palma Violets, you agree to do the whole interview all over again with the same questions, and aim to fabricate as much as possible for the record
S
“
o Palma Violets, do you like Parma Violets?” There’s a giggle, before exaggerated groans of “I love Parma Violets; they’re so fucking good”, and “they’re unreal man!” This is the second time I’ve asked this question tonight. I’m sat on a wooden bench outside The Cluny with three members of the psych-garage band Palma Violets, who have already answered all my questions and are currently
being forced to reenact the interview due to technicalities and a disobedient iPhone. Tonight is their eighth gig in October, part of their frantic headline tour that boasts twenty four dates over the course of thirtyone days. There is no evidence of burning out yet; later they play with a blinding, infectious enthusiasm, Will Doyle thrashing away violently on his drum kit, Pete Mayhew thumping the keyboard which is emitting heavilyreverbed organ chords, Sam Fryer standing majestically atop the drum kit, whilst bassist Chilli Jesson bounces in and out of the crowd like an overexcited Jack Russell, screaming in the faces of unsuspecting front row crowdmembers. I tell them that I’m not so keen on the purple confectionery, that they’re too perfumey for my learned taste buds and the conversation descends into a frenzied discussion on the best childhood sweets, each one of us calling out names: Refreshers, Dip Dabs (“they were too much
effort”), and those two-tone lollies that gave your tongue “all those bobbly bits”. After several minutes of bickering, Sam Fryer, vocalist, guitarist and sweet mediator, democratically declares: “I think it’s a collective thing, if you love Parma Violets you love that there will always be Parma Violets left in the bag at the end of the party.” The shelf life of new guitar bands these days tends to be pretty short. Bands often enjoy a brief and fickle spell as the ‘next big thing’, before being spurned by scathing hipsters and disappearing into a pre-mainstream abyss, neither commercial enough for the everyman, nor unknown enough to be cool, never to be seen again. I ask them what it’s like to be on the cover of NME, without even having released a single, the glaring ‘best new band in Britain’ epithet emblazoned across their faces. A look of confusion creeps across their faces. “We were on the cover of NME?” they ask incredulously. “Our manager doesn’t like us to feel too much pressure, so he doesn’t tell us stuff like that. I’m gonna give him a bell and ask what all the fuss is about,” Sam huffs. Of course it’s all an act, one that they keep up for several minutes before their faces crack into wide, beaming grins. “It’s great that they’re putting new bands on the cover like they used to,” Will states. “It kind of is in their title you know. New. Musical. Express.” He spells it out as if it’s obvious, and it is. “I actually tried to get a free copy in WH Smiths,” he claims, “but they wouldn’t let me, I pointed to my face and everything but they weren’t having any of it.” Talk turns to the inevitable with up-andcoming bands - their getting together. First interview round, Sam and bassist Chilli met when Sam was playing guitar round a campfire at Reading Festival. “I’m going to manage
you!,” he shouted at Fryer, and the pair got together with mutual friends and began jamming at initial studio sessions.
egram machine,” he elaborates, running his hand through his long fringe, pushing it over the back of his head. “It could have gone to
“We were on the cover of NME?” they ask incredulously. Of course it’s all an act, one that they keep up for several minutes before their faces crack into grins When I ask them again, the legend changes entirely. I tell them they can make it up, and they launch into an extravagant concoction that involves Chilli being kidnapped by a French cult. “I sent out a telegram, because we had a tel-
anyone in the world but Sam-” Sam cuts in: “No, no, it was my cousin Guion who received it,” he points at Chilli, “and this bugger called Paul was trying to contact me, and so basically I tried to get back to him and realised the situation he was in, and
The Courier
features.17
Monday 22 October 2012
he was in quite a dangerous cult, you know, the ones with the suicide and things...” he tails off and Chilli shouts “Chateau d’oeuf” like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “And so I went out to France and I saved him, and christened him Chilli Jesson, because he needed a new name so they couldn’t track him down,” Fryer concludes. I tell them this is going down in print as solid fact and
they nod enthusiastically in agreement. We discuss their debut album, which they’re hoping to have out early next year on Rough Tr a d e , the label they were signed to allegedly after hearing only one song. “It’s going to be a greatest hits album. It’s going to be full of number ones, only number ones, we only want num-
“[Our debut is] going to be a greatest hits album. It’s going to be full of number ones we only want number , ones”
ber ones,” Sam reiterates. It sounds cocky in print but in reality it’s wry, blithe almost. Whether it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy is another matter, but right now, they don’t seem to care. “We don’t want to do anything too experimental now, but in the future, definitely. When we’re old enough to grow beards and when we learn how to actually play the guitar, once we actually have a bloody clue, then yeah. I think we’re gonna end up making classical pieces, like Muse did, with violins and piano.” Their frantic October tour is making them pretty well-travelled, with dates all across the country. “We loved Edinburgh; it looked like something out of Lord of the Rings, and we’re excited to play in Hull because it sold out, and apparently there’s some nice looking ladies there.” Whilst playing in Liverpool, supporting
Savages earlier this year, they had an altercation with the police after breaking into an antique helter skelter in the city centre. “It got totally blown out of proportion,” Sam insists. “Anyone would have thought there was armed police waiting for us the way Matt Wilkinson (NME) described it.” They don’t seem keen to talk about it. “Frankie Goes to Hollywood is a knob, that’s all you need to say,” Chilli interjects; referring to Holly Johnson’s subsequent disgusted tweet on the matter. I tell them that we sadly don’t have a helter skelter in Newcastle and talk turns to our surroundings outside The Cluny. “There’s chickens in Newcastle!” Will exclaims, pointing down the street towards a farm. “There’s a confused pigeon who lives down there, amongst the chickens and the rooster, and there’s a pig that lives opposite the tea rooms, and also a rat.” When I tell them Byker Grove was filmed
just down the road there’s an eruption of faux-Geordie accents: ‘BIYKA GROOVE, BIYKA GROOVE’ they shout. ‘That’s the show that spawned Ant and Dick,’ Chilli emphatically points out. So what does the future hold for Palma Violets? “We don’t know what the fuck we’ll be doing in five years time. We don’t even know where we’re playing tomorrow,” Sam laughs. The interview is coming to a close, and the band want to go and watch support band Childhood. I ask them if there’s anything else they want to say. Will looks at me and in a heavily-put on Sheffield accent drawls, “don’t believe the hype.” “Don’t believe the hype, don’t believe the hype,” they chant, before Chilli bellows with fervent resemblance to Alex Turner, “someone call 999, Richard Hawley’s been robbed.”
18.features
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Divine and conquer Ever wanted to know what your future holds? Features Editor Tom Nicholson takes his destiny into his own hands and finds out how Bigg Market’s prophet makes a profit I’ve been thinking about the future more and more recently. I’m sure I’m not alone in getting the Third Year Fear: the encroaching, horrifying realisation that in less than a year’s time there will be no more loan day and I might have to – gulp – get a job. The future looks more than a bit scary from where I’m sat, so any pointers as to what the road ahead will look like – whether it’ll be a primrose path or the dodgy alleyway behind Sinners, complete with urinating vagrants – are of immense interest to me. Fortunately, there is a ready solution to this uncertainty camped in Bigg Market three days a week.
Pre-gypsy prep: Who is this future-head? Angeline Lee’s gaily painted caravan has visited Newcastle since 2001 and enjoys a steady stream of visitors every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Most patrons are, like me, just idly curious as to what lay behind the rippling curtain at the entrance of her caravan, and in the half hour or so I hung around Bigg Market about six or seven different groups of people went through the same motions upon seeing the caravan: first, glancing at the caravan; then, looking intently at the signs; then
laughing with their friends about the idea of fortune-telling; then, finally, pulling a ‘what the heck, carpe diem’ expression and creeping on in. This is exactly what I did too. The board outside proclaims that she is “a real Welsh gypsy”, and gets her gift of foresight from her grandmother. Further research informs me that Angeline lives in Durham, and commutes in from there with her caravan in tow. However, there was a time about five years ago when her charming caravan/office had to be repainted, and for a week or so was replaced by the kind of white plastic monstrosity normally seen clogging up motorways and Devonshire country lanes of a bank holiday weekend. Fortunately, the caravan in which Angeline’s parents and grandparents once lived has been restored to its former glory, and it was into this abode which I stepped
to find out my future. The interior of the caravan is very cosy indeed, with a roaring stove by the door, a child at Angeline’s knee doodling intently on a pad of paper and three Chihuahuas tumbling about on a bunk bed behind her head. Before I’d even sat down, Angeline had fixed me with a riveting stare and starting rattling through my options at two hundred miles an hour in her clipped Welsh accent. I decide to settle for a single-palm reading rather than a “full-body reading”, mainly because I didn’t think the bunk bed would be able to take it. Then, as I started to realise that there was a fair chance the stove at my shins might set me on fire, Angeline said, “Open your left palm, and I’ll see what I can See for you”, and we delved into my future...
The fog is lifted: What Angeline told me “You like music and entertainment.” This was astute, though maybe aided by my I <3 MUSIC t-shirt and ENTERTAINMENTS 4 LYF woolly hat. “You’re optimistic. You worry too much about little things before they happen.” The temptation to do my best Alan Partridge impression and claim that “I used to be indecisive, but was no longer so sure” was almost too great to bear. “You don’t need drugs to make you happy...” At this point I decided it might be tactful to not ask if I could start racking up lines of coke on her stove. “…but a little drink, it won’t hurt you.” This pulled me round to thinking Angeline might be onto something, I must say. “You’ve got a bad habit you need to quit.”
I do bake a lot of bagels. Sometimes it feels like I live on a gluten-only diet. I also eat a heck of a lot of cheese. The cheese shop in Grainger Market are probably going to send in the bailiffs fairly soon if I don’t clear my tab.
only way I’m going to be able to find out which of these women is a cheating get is by shouting, “ARE YOU A CHEATING GET? ARE YOU? ARE YOU?” at any and all potential suitors.
“There’s a man called Kevin you mustn’t trust, also a man called Tony.”
“You’re going to be a lawyer. Go for it, you won’t regret it. You’re going to be a great lawyer.”
I bloody knew there was something dodgy about Kevin Costner, not least the fact that in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves he and Morgan Freeman manage to whizz from Dover to Hadrian’s Wall and then back down to Sherwood Forest. Why, Kevin? IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE, KEVIN. I lent Tony Robinson my Die Hard boxset the other day too. Never going to see that again.
This is a bit of a surprise. I’ve never considered going into law in any capacity, though I’ve watched enough Ally McBeal to know the basics. The only way my lawyerly instincts are going to be called into action is if I end up having to defend myself in court though at least I’ll manage to get myself acquitted, which is a relief.
“…but you’re afraid of commitment.”
“You’ll have a trip to London, you’ll also go to America.”
Happily, this isn’t true.
“Two women are in love with you, you don’t mind me saying that…” Not at all Ange, that’s cracking news. At this point I began to revise my previously anti-fortune telling stance. “…but one of them, she’s a cheating get. You’re better off staying away from her.” Oh. Thanks for the heads-up. The
My older brother has just moved to Greenwich, so a trip to London is most certainly on the cards (if you’ll excuse the pun) and I’ve wanted to go to New York for ages. In print, the America prediction does look a bit more threatening than it was perhaps intended. I can’t help thinking I’m going to be extradited. Although, of course, being a super-lawyer I’ll spring myself out almost immediately
and probably get some sort of medal as an apology for wasting my time. “Someone has got strong feelings for you…” I think this must be about the lollipop man outside West Jesmond primary school. He resents the fact I use his services despite being 21.
Ladies and gentleman, I present to you: MEN. “You’re very close to one of your parents, but the other one you don’t really get along with.”
“You won’t turn out gay.” I think this was an oblique prediction that I’ll never meet Ryan Gosling. Alas. “You’ll settle down and be married between the ages of 21 and 26 and you’ll have three kids.” Rather earlier than I was hoping for, but beggars can’t be choosers.
“March will be a very lucky month for you.” Eighty lottery tickets a week it is, then. “You’ll drive a black sports car.” Seeing as the last time I drove a car I ended up getting shunted and my Mum got lumped with a £1700 bill, this prediction might not come true until Aston Martin start making dodgems.
The Courier
features.19
Monday 22 October 2012
Looking back at the future...
So, there it is; my future in a nutshell. I don’t mean for this article to be an attack on Angeline Lee’s abilities, or otherwise a mean-spirited exposé of a charlatan who makes a living ripping off gullible members of the public. Having your palm read by a very pleasant and courteous Welshwoman is just a bit of fun, and Angeline is undoubtedly a very gifted cold reader. I’ll admit that at the time I was a little piqued at having to pay £5 for her to tell me that I enjoy entertainment. However, on reflection I’ve realised that I would happily pay anyone upwards of fifty quid to tell me that two women are in love with me, if only for the sake of my ego. In fact, I’ll probably go back, bung Angeline another fiver and see if she can spirit up their phone numbers and a brief biography for each. In the meantime, I’m going to go and hang around outside Newcastle Crown Court handing out business cards. I think the most apposite ending to this experience is to repeat what Angeline called after me as I walked away from her caravan: “There’s no magic. Life’s what you make it, yeah?” I realise that it sounds like a cliché I’ve lifted from the end of a sub-standard ‘80s teen movie, but it is true. Looks like I’ll have to sit my exams after all.
Angeline called after me as I walked away from her caravan: “There’s no magic. Life’s what you make it, yeah?”
Modelling! Spain! Washing dishes! Three more writers share their experiences with the mysterious Angeline Lee It was a cold Thursday aft and after almost a week of ernoon, horribly early starts I decided that it was to find out what was in store time future: would I ever be ‘too for my Sinners? Clearly the sensible old’ for would be to grow up and find option out, but instead I decided to take matters my own hands and let a “rea into gypsy” whose caravan was l Welsh parked in the Bigg Market tell me wha in store. I was invited up the t was steps of the caravan rather unceremoni and invited to pull across the ously Angeline Lee took my left hancurtain. my five quid) with hardly any d (and tion and immediately startedhesitaing into my future. Speaking delvshe informed me, amongs quickly t other
things, that I was a traditio who knows right from wronal girl wouldn’t become a lesbian ng and sex before marriage (no comor have I’ll get through two husbands ment). lifetime and will travel, end in my days in a Spanish villa (score).ing my she said was mostly genericWhat could apply to anyone, but with and said I know of people who go that week without fail and seem to every the readings. I’d recommend enjoy along for a laugh with your going but not to expect anything friends too life changing to be revealed. How if in thirty years I’m re-read ever, ing this article in my Spanish villa then I take that back. Amy Macauley
current “I will be getting engaged soon but only if mydsome” boyfriend is not a drug addict and if he is han that appararre revelation was self-proclaimed biztly I am going to leave my current the see to p tri My yed friend. She in her peculiar en “real Welsh gypsy’ arre and frankly boyfriend for a blue-eadict herself by biz ntr s co wa to n went on place of work g engaged soon off by telling me the baffling. She started full of joy, I will saying I will be gettin nt boyfriend is be rre to cu ing my go if is ly life on t my if he is handthat I am too bu be wealthy but also ever fall in love. not a drug addict andwill have two I to d tly use e. Apparen proud and foc never falling in som pool, two sons Straight off the whole e. She also said houses, a swimming s of pets. She love scenario is too lat cessful model and a daughter and lotmove to Spain that I would be a sucI shouldn’t cut recommended I only king good and and actress, but that cause I should if the weather is loo in the foremy hair any shorter beI think becom- no natural disasters arethe things she be proud of my hair. of twenty-one cast. Although some of in my future ing a model at the agepretty unlikely, predicted to take placeam not sure I when I am 5’6 short ist take that as a seemed appealing, I inced. Howbut I guess I will jus recommended was particularly convnd popping in compliment. She alsoth low-cut tops ever, I would recomme owns three of I wear long skirts wi tching jewel- to see her because sheihuahuas I have most adorable Ch and pale coloured ma ite understood the lery. I can’t say I qu to start look- ever seen. why she wanted med I am afraid I Annie Morgan ing a certain way an to change my ing go am I don’t think chat. The most appearance after our
yourself after. So I would say have a go, dishes properly, but other than that it at the very least you can have a laugh ctexpe ’t wasn I lie; to going not I’m was all pretty nice stuff. I’m not going ing to find out my entire life’s future to criticise what she does or complain about it all. be To ng. readi in a five minute palm if these things come true because they Emma Hill honest, I don’t really know what I was were all good, but I’m not going to surantly pleas was I but , cting expe start doing things differently because prised. It was more like an intensive of it. I can’t imagine going again, partly a than r rathe isal complimentary appra because I don’t want her to change her paranormal experience. So I left feel- mind about my future and partly being rather cheery after being told I’m a cause she was fairly descriptive up unstrong-minded individual, I have good til I’m 22, so I’m pretty much set for a friends and family and I’m going to few more years yet. It does no harm if travel well. The occasional odd com- you don’t take it seriously and it could ment mixed things up a bit about how even make you feel pretty good about to style my hair and how to wash the
An Alternative Geordie Palm-Reading Newcastle has more lay-lines than fake tan lines, FYI...
The prominent fame line (5) augers that the subject will recover from their myocardial infarction and become a local hero by taming the wild cows of Leazes Park and giving almighty high fives aided by his massive middle finger (6).
1 As we can see, this person has a shorter than average index finger (1), suggesting that they have a habit of being late for Metros and frequently gets their hand trapped in the door while diving, desperately, across platform one at Haymarket.
6
5
3
The life line (2) and head line (3) both look truncated, which tells me that the subject will become addicted to Greggs steak bakes within twenty-four cycles of the moon, and end up bankrupted by their obsession.
2
4 Horrendously overweight and temporarily crackers, they will suffer a heart attack (indicated by the lackadaisical heart line (4)) while attempting to clamber into Sinners’ cage, under the impression that it is the only place to hide from Metro ticket inspectors.
20.fashion
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Fashion Editors: Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor: Sally Greenwood
What I wore this week By teaming my intricately embellished new Zara necklace with a classic black ensemble I was able to dip into the Baroque trend by adding a touch of decadence. I also took inspiration from the A/W12 catwalks of Lanvin and the Italian powerhouse, Dolce & Gabbana, where elegant clothing teamed with superornate jeweled pieces gave that dark avant-garde feel.
This outfit was pretty much chosen because of the miserable weather. My jumper may look oversized but that’s because it’s not actually mine, it’s borrowed. I’m ashamed to say I cheated on the Creepers and bought a pair of fakes from eBay, but for £15 I really can’t complain. My new favourite item of clothing is the woollen cape that I’m holding; I bought it from Attica vintage shop on George Street.
Holly Douglas
Hannah Walsh
Hannah Walsh and Holly Douglas tell us how they styled their favourite outfit of the week.
Jumper: H&M, £29.99 Vintage shorts (under jumper): £20, Affleck’s Palace, Manchester Creeper-style shoes: £15, eBay Woollen cape: £18, Attica Satchel: £19, Henry Holland sale
T-Shirt: Topshop, £16 Wax coated trousers: Zara, £59.99 Leather biker boots: Aldo Jacket with leather lapels: Zara, £79.99 Glass beaded necklace: Zara, £29.99 Alexander Wang ‘Rocco’ bag
Charity shopping - rags or riches?
Should we all give charity shops a shot? Claire McNiffe and Rosie Devonshire help us decide
YES
NO
A
re you tired of trawling through the disorganised rails of Primark? Reluctant to pay lofty high street prices for poor quality products? Thank goodness there is an alternative to all this pricey chaos to be found in the form of charity shops. If the mere phrase ‘charity shops’ makes you wince, then fear not, you are probably suffering from a common and easily treatable case of stereotyping. Typically, when people think of charity shops, images spring to mind of cluttered shelves and moth-bitten clothes. Dispel this image from your mind immediately; most charity shops are well organised and selective with the items they choose to sell in their stores. Once you have overcome your initial prejudices, you can open your mind to the wondrous world of charity shopping. Did you know that charity shops are the most common shops on British high streets? Yet despite this they are inexpensive and generally queue-less, making them perfect for the savvy student shopper! However, the bonuses of charity shopping don’t stop there. As the name suggests, charity shops plough their proceeds into worthwhile causes, allowing you to treat yourself whilst
giving to charity - that definitely beats helping to fund Phillip Green’s holiday to the Caribbean! On top of all that, arguably the best bit about charity shopping is the reassurance that you come away with something unique. Due to the vast diversity in donations, charity shops encompass different styles, sizes and even decades, so you’re sure to find something that suits you. So next time you are skint but feel like a spot of retail therapy don’t despair, go for a look in your local charity store where, for once, you can feel damn good about spending money. Claire McNiffe
I
know it’s for a good cause, and I know it saves lives, but the idea of charity shopping makes me die a little bit inside. I’m not against the idea; it’s great, go for it, recycle and stuff. But, charity shops, if you could, please separate the things that look like they could be bought in Topshop from the old wedding suits and Primark vest tops with stained armpits. Or if you could just display the clothes in any form of organised criteria that doesn’t end in the word chaos, I’d be grateful. I have an ‘80s mohair jumper courtesy of my mum and I own jewellery that my great grandma wore during both wars, so I’m not against vintage. However, the idea of having to actually find these
things for myself is more daunting than trying to fight my way into the reduced food section in Tesco at ten past five on a week night. Then there’s the idea that someone else once wore these clothes. I have problems sharing clothes with my own sister (she likes to borrow my knickers, which is not acceptable sibling behaviour), so the thought that someone might have died in the new dress I’m planning on wearing to Sinners just creeps me out. All in all, I don’t think buying clothes from charity shops is the future. I can’t imagine anything worse than fighting my way through teapots, copies of Coronation Street Christmas specials on VHS and Jeremy Clarkson autobiographies in order to get that vintage bargain. So, I think I’ll stick to buying my oversized knitwear from Topshop and just remember to put the change from my McFlurry in the charity box next to the till in order to make me feel like I’m doing my bit.
Rosie Devonshire
The Courier
fashion.21
Monday 22 October 2012
Warming up for winter
thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Fashion
With the chill beginning to set in, Frances Stephenson takes two summer dresses and styles them to fit a winter wardrobe
This grey, metallic sweater creates a nice colour contrast with the bright coral dress and instantly smartens your look whilst keeping you toasty. But be careful not to get swamped by your clothes when layering; no more than three extra items or the clothes will be wearing you! Cross over to the dark side with a statement black leather jacket that will instantly toughen up a girly summer sun dress. Zipped up, it will also create a cinched-in waistline, which is an important silhouette this season. When it comes to the leather trend, less is more, so think more Bella Swan and less Sandy from Grease... These ankle boots with silver detailing make a great transition from ballet pumps to something more substantial. They would look great with bare legs and ankle socks in the evening or with tights for a day at Uni.
Coral dress: £13, Primark Metallic knit jumper: £12, Primark Leather jacket: £35, Internacionale Buckled boots: £18, Matalan
Fashion Blog of the Week
www.londons-closet.com
Shope and Shore are a pair of 17 year old twins who collectively write the blog London’s Closet. They both have an equally amazing sense of style, which is beautifully showcased on their blog through their creative photography. If you love high street fashion but are in need of some inspiration, then definitely check out London’s Closet. Follow Shope and Shore on Twitter: @shopedelano @shoredelano Elissa Hudson
Online Shop of the Week www.galibardy.com
Oversized coats are big for Autumn. They’re easy to throw on in the morning and add a bit of ‘something’ even to the plainest of outfits. This one is made of boucle tweed and has on-trend leather panelling around the collar that will make you feel all Downton Abbey and Sherlock rolled into one. A top tip for this season is to invest in an oversized necklace; the bigger the better. A statement necklace will really jazz up your old summer dresses and bring them right up to date for A/W12. The geometric balls on this Accessorize necklace really remind me of baubles on a Christmas tree... who says it’s too early? Finally, where would we be without a solid pair of brogues? Androgynous and practical, these black brogues have a nostalgic ‘back to school’ feel whilst incorporating one of this season’s biggest trends: studding. Pricey, but well worth investing in!
Boucle dress: £20, Primark Grey tweet coat: £75, River Island Studded brogues: £75, Dune Necklace: £16, Accessorize
With statement jewellery being so on trend this autumn, the place to start pursuing the perfect piece is Galibardy, an online boutique founded by Lisa Galibardy in 2008 specialising in the quirky and unique. From beautiful lace necklaces to detailed skeletal bracelets, Galibardy doesn’t disappoint when it comes to creating an impact with your jewellery. Affordable and like nothing else you will find on the high street, Galiabrdy’s jewels have come into the possession of fashion icons such as Rita Ora and Fearne Cotton, meaning this online store is definitely worth checking out. Follow Galibardy on Twitter: @GALIBARDY Amy O’Rourke
22.beauty
Monday 22 October
Beauty Editor: Annie Morgan Online Beauty Editor: Amy Macauley
The Courier
thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty courier.beauty@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Beauty
Tip of the How to: Contour and highlight week Get luscious locks with Moroccanoil
Moroccanoil is a treatment for all hair types that conditions your hair, adds shine and even reduces drying time, without leaving residue. A hair care favourite used by notable Hollywood celebrities, this lightweight formula contains a blend of Argan oil, omega-3 and antioxidants to hydrate and protect your hair. Pump a small amount of Moroccanoil, no larger than a ten pence piece, onto the palm of your hand. With your fingers work the product through damp hair, starting from the ends and up to the middle sections of your hair. Avoid rubbing oil directly into the root area. Continue to dry and style your hair as normal. Not washed your hair? Not a problem. Moroccanoil can also be used on dry hair. Again, take a very small amount through the ends of your hair to restore shine and create a glossy finished look. The effects of Moroccanoil are instantaneous, leaving your hair looking and feeling healthy and silky smooth to the touch!
Contouring is a technique used to define the face by using light and shade to create an illusion of chiselled features. If done right, it can slim down the face and change the appearance of your facial structure giving you high, prominent cheekbones and a defined jawline. The trick is to use dark colours to hollow
the areas you want to hide and lighter colours to accentuate and emphasize, giving you the perfect, sculpted look. In this step-by-step tutorial, Safiya Ahmed demonstrates how to emphasize all the right parts of your face.
Step 1:
Step 2:
After applying your foundation, take a matte blush, powder or bronzer one or two shades darker than your normal skin tone (try to avoid using any product with shimmer as it will draw attention to the area) and using an angled brush shade in the area below your cheekbones. Suck in your cheeks to find the hollow and starting from the middle of your ear, blend down to just below the apple of the cheek. Start it off lighthandedly and then build up the colour. The key is to blend!
Next take the same brush and sweep the colour along your hairline and across the temples. This will create an overall slimming effect on the face. Then apply to the jawline and under the chin to create a more defined looking face shape.
Step 3:
Step 4:
Now it’s time to highlight the areas you want to emphasise. Using a shimmery highlighter, sweep along the cheekbones directly above the contour, right up to the temples. This will reflect the light and draw attention to the cheekbone, apply a slight amount under the darker area to give make your cheekbones really stand out. You can also apply highlighter on the bridge of your nose and under your brows to bring out the rest of your features.
And finally, to ensure a natural fresh look, make sure everything is blended in correctly, avoiding any harsh lines. Add a bit of blush for a flush of colour and you should have a perfectly contoured face to rival Kim Kardashian!
Price Tag? Approximately £30 per 100ml. Where can you get it? www.feelunique.com, www. amazon.com, the Boiler House (Jesmond) and other participating hairdressers. Heather Ratcliffe
Kiehl’s: Sample Reviews Five writers put Kiehl’s skin-care products to the test - use the voucher below to pick up your own set ofsamples from their Fenwick stall Kiehl’s are mostly known as a brand for their philanthropic deeds, their distinct brand-image, but also for their effective marketing skills. One thing that really makes Kiehl’s stand out as a brand is most of their self-promotion is done through free product sampling, thereby allowing their products to speak for themselves. Founded in 1851, the Kiehl’s interest in producing natural, no-nonsense products is very much in tune with modern day concerns about what ingredients we put onto our skin and what kind of company we are endorsing. When the Kiehl’s counter in Fenwick offered us the opportunity to try out some of their products, we thought we would put them to the test and see which of their products stood out to us. Everyone has a different skin and hair type to the next person, so we used an array of people in order to get a more wellrounded view. Açaí Damage-Repairing Serum: Annie: As this product is of 100% natural origin as well as having organic ingredients, I had high hopes, but the serum immediately met my expectations. You only need a tiny amount to help smooth out your skin and give you a radiant complexion. I will have to consider purchasing this one.
Amy: After initial doubts about the brown colour of this serum I was actually very impressed. As with the other samples it went on smoothly and dried without the stickiness that can sometimes be found with serums. It smelt really nice too. Rice & Wheat Volumising Shampoo: Hannah: This smelt fantastic and made my hair feel tons healthier after blow drying! Creme de Corps Body Moisturiser: Amy: I was impressed with this moisturiser as it wasn’t too runny or sticky. The application was smooth and it left my skin feeling moisturised until the morning, as I put it on before bed. I also used the residue on my hands and they definitely felt a lot softer afterwards. Facial Fuel: Chris: A great post-shave moisturiser, perfect for a morning pick me up leaving your face all tingly. Not too light, yet not too thick, Facial Fuel doesn’t fall into the trap of many moisturisers that leave a greasy layer. Making your skin feel more awake than your brain in the morning, it’s a must-have. Cucumber Herbal Alcohol-Free Toner: Annie: When I first had a look at the samples I
was immediately drawn to this as although it is for all skin types, it is particularly for dry or sensitive skin which is exactly what I have. I found that unlike a lot of toners, this was refreshing and pore tightening without the dry sensation I usually get after using a toner. It also smells really fresh and herby. Moisturising Hand Cream: Tom: Very effective in softening my hands, since it’s designed for people in need of heavy-duty moisturising. However I did use a whole sachet in one go and couldn’t touch anything for half an hour until it had sunk in. Hannah: Overall I can say that I absolutely loved the brand. All of the products are packed with natural enriching ingredients and smell fantastic. Price points are fairly high so I wouldn’t repurchase any of the hair products as they didn’t suit me particularly well, but I have a feeling I might be visiting Fenwick very shortly to grab a bottle of the Crème de Corps! Annie Morgan, Amy Macauley, Hannah Walsh, Chris Taylor, Tom Nicholson
24.listings22-28October
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Listings Editor: Sally Priddle
Monday Massage Sessions 12-4pm Newcastle Students’ Union
Feeling stressed? Realised that despite the great nights out in Newcastle, University does actually involve some work? Well, here is your chance to ease your midterm aches and pains, choose from reflexology, Indian head or all over [clothed] massage. Email: giag.union@ncl.ac.uk with Massage 1 in the subject line for your space!
Newcastle Jobs Fair 10.30-3pm St. James’ Park
We know that ignorance is bliss when it comes to the job market. But with looming unemployment, this is your chance to meet employers from a wide range of sectors offering work placement opportunities and graduate vacancies commencing Summer/Autumn 2013. Organisations with further study and professional training opportunities will also be in attendance. The fair is open to penultimate, final year students and graduates from any university and all degree disciplines.
Lesbilicious
8pm The Stand Comedy Club
A night of witty, sarcastic and crude comedy from lesbian and bisexual women and their friends. The night will be compered by Maureen Younger, feature local act Nat Wicks, Scottish legend Susie McCabe and headlined by the utterly irresistible Angela Barnes, who offers a fresh take on life’s absurdities. Tickets from £10
Tuesday MADventurer Information Evening 6.30pm Bedson Teaching Centre, Room B32
This year, RAG has teamed up with Madventurer to provide students with the opportunity to volunteer abroad. We have a number of exciting trips planned for students: including trips to Ghana, Thailand and Peru. RAG and Madventurer are providing students with an information evening on these projects and how to get involved. Start your Madventure here.
Love Themed Homemade Jam 8pm Men’s Bar
In aid of S.H.A.G. week, this week’s Homemade Jam will celebrate love’s unmeasurable influence on songwriters.
Wednesday An Evening With Allan Ahlberg
6.30pm Seven Stories, Ouseburn Valley
A blast from the past, Allan Ahlberg is the children’s author best known for the Jolly Postman books, which were a staple of many of our childhoods. Tickets £10
Thursday
Young and Warm and Wild and Free
25-27 October, 7.45pm Theatre Royal
Max, Andi, Leigh, Fil and Jo like football, comic books, video games and hanging out. Evie, Candice, Daisy, Lily and Summer like fashion, perfume and going shopping. Both groups hate each other. But one night after a party, everything changes... Tickets £5
Nicki Minaj: The ‘Pink Friday Reloaded’ Tour S.H.A.G Week Playground Special 11pm-3am Students’ Union
Expect the usual Playground antics with a special touch of S.H.A.G Week magic, with condom fairies partying the night away with you and a one off rodeo experience that will truly offer you the ride of life. A night out not to be missed. Free entry before 12 for sports teams/£4 guest list
25 and 28 October, 7.30pm Metro Radio Arena
Nicki Minaj is the unavoidable pop/rap sensation who has taken the charts by storm with her unique sound and look. Supported by The X Factor’s Misha B, this tour is sure to be like nothing you have ever seen before.
The Courier
22-28Octoberlistings.25
Monday 22 October 2012
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Friday
Jazz Night in The Brasserie 8pm-10pm, every Friday, October-December The Sage, Gateshead
With the best view in Newcastle, live Jazz and beautiful food this is a special night out that is definitely worth a go. Their resident Jazz musician Paul Taylor gives your evening a fantastic atmosphere and the Soprano menu price at £12 for two courses and £15 for three course is some of the best food (especially for the price) to be found in Newcastle. For further details and to book a table contact The Brasserie on 0191 443 4654
Something for the weekend Alan Davies: Life is Pain 27 October, 8pm Newcastle City Hall
After more than a decade since his last stand-up show, Alan Davies, the muchloved star of iconic television series such as Jonathan Creek and QI, is here and ready to make you laugh with lots of “smucky stuff about sex toys”. Tickets from £21
Not in Newcastle...
With the Metro going to Sunderland, trains to Durham only £5 return with a Railcard and special weekend deals on trains and buses to Scotland there really is no excuse for your weekend or evening activities to be limited to the Toon. Expand your horizons and find out what the whole of the North East and beyond has to offer.
Durham Book Festival
Tynemouth Beach
The North East’s biggest book festival returns with events across Durham that suit all tastes. This year’s Durham Book Festival programme is big on stories – from the world premiere of a reinterpretation of a classic fairytale by Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy to gripping historical fiction from Pat Barker and Kate Mosse. Best-selling crime writers PD James and Ian Rankin will talk about the books that have made them household names, while stories from the past loom large in literary biographies and criminal investigations from the 19th century. Book by phone on 01913324041 or at www. galadurham.co.uk (where a full programme is available)
Tynemouth is your local seaside town, and I know the weather might not be what you traditionally associate with going to the beach, but wrap up warm and go and experience the beautiful seaside town. Offering fantastic regular weekend markets in the Metro station, a wide range of water sports including surfing, sailing, wind surfing, jet-ski, sub-aqua, swimming and canoeing. If that doesn’t persuade you Marshall’s fish and chips are the ultimate hangover cure and possibly the best fish and chips you will ever have.
13-30 October
Fun all year round and only a metro ride away
Radio show of the week: Sound Judgement
Labrinth
28 October, 7pm O2 Academy
Pop sensation known for his Top 10 hits ‘Let the Sun Shine’ and ‘Earthquake’. Tickets £15
Your weekly dose of new and exciting music on a Wednesday evening. Whether you’re sat working late in the Robbo or slapping on something fine for a night out, tune in and they promise to entertain. From weekly features of Innuendo Bingo, YouTube phenomenon’s and a Rasta reggae remix along with some fantastic up and coming new music, this show is sure to blast away those midweek blues.
When do you tune in? Wednesdays at 7pm
Something free: Queen Elizabeth II by Cecil Beaton
10am-5pm Laing Gallery
GoApe with Give It A Go
To celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, this show presents highlights from the V&A’s collection of Beaton’s Royal photography, and depicts the Queen in her roles as princess, monarch and mother. It includes more than sixty photographs, as well as film clips and excerpts from Beaton’s private diaries and letters.
28 October, 10.45am Meet outside the Students’ Union
Offering you a chance to do something exciting with your weekend (other than going out of course). Go Ape is a high ropes course that lets you go flying through the Northumberland forests in an exhilarating and thrilling afternoon out! Tickets £20 Price includes transportation, all equipment and entry, book soon as places are limited. Email: giag.union@ncl.ac.uk with ‘Go Ape’ in the subject line for your space.
Something to look forward to: Halloween Tour of Newcastle 31 October Newcastle Quayside
Did you know that the Bishop of Durham was murdered in Gateshead, or that Charles I was arrested here by the Scots, or that the Council of the North met in the Holy Jesus Hospital? This is your chance to find out things about gruesome truth about Newcastle, with ghastly stories and medieval settings for hangings and hauntings, get ready to experience another to the city Tickets £4 To book your place email: Chris Wright at jinglin.geordie @gmail.com
@CourierListings
26.lifestyle
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Lifestyle Editors: Lauren Stafford, Emily Rae, and Catherine Davison Online Editor: Victoria Mole
Out on the Count Dipika Rangasami
Find out how many units and calories you’re really consuming when you hit the Toon...
Wine
Wine is the drink of choice for a variety of occasions from dinner parties to predrinks. Tastes and varieties range wide and calorie counts vary depending on the type, quantity, and quality.
units
White wine with 13% ABV (alcohol by volume) per glass: 119 calories, 1.6 units Red wine with 13% ABV per glass: 119 calories, 2.3
Let’s get physical
Post-Freshers’ beer belly? Work off your wine weight with some on-campus fun fitness Katie Smith takes a Zumba class
Jess Belton takes on NUSSC Looking for a way to get fit AND have fun? Sign up to the Newcastle University Ski & Snowboard club. The club has something to offer for everyone. There is no experience necessary to attend the training sessions at Silksworth Ski Slope in Sunderland, held every Tuesday 7-9pm. However, if you’re a keen skier/boarder there is plenty to get involved in, with competitors trips to the Alps in the New Year, a trip to the BUSC main event in Easter plus competitions for ski and board, race and freestyle. Skiing and snowboarding are great ways to get fit as they are equivalent to an all-over body work out, toning your arms, legs, bum and tum whilst burning on average 350 calories per hour! Not only is it a fantastic way to get fit on campus, NUSSC has loads of ‘après-ski’ activities to enjoy. This includes a Christmas trip for everyone in NUSSC, socials, plus an end of year ball!
Eleanor Moore tries Pole Dancing
Freddie Caldwell compares Intra Mural sport
The Newcastle University Pole Dancing Society (NUPD) is the ultimate, unconventional way to keep fit on campus. The society mixes flexibility and strength to provide a strong workout - whilst feeling pretty sexy at the same time! Although pole dancing is not as easy as it looks, it is more entertaining. I used muscles I didn’t know I had, to music that I wish I didn’t know (hello, ‘Gangnam Style’). Within an hour, I had a routine of spins, poses and lifts – definitely something to show off in Sinners. Whether you’re a better dancer than Beyoncé or like me, about as graceful as a cabbage, NUPD provides an entertaining way to get fit on campus – and most importantly, have fun!
Sex on the beach
A perfect boozy blend of vodka, peach schnapps, orange and cranberry juice served with ice; there is a reason this magic mix of a cocktail is so sought after. Cocktail: 190 calories
Beer An invaluable accompaniment to any form of sporting event or social gathering, Beer can easily be credited as the fuel that drives conversations. Universally acknowledged as being best enjoyed cold and in the company of good friends.
Vox pop:
1.
Isobel Fielder questions on campus
Step up
Taking the stairs instead of the lift is simple yet effective. Just 10 minutes of step exercises burns around 100 calories – so by the time you finally make it to the sixth floor of the Herschel Building you’ll feel perfectly justified in eating that extra chocolate bar.
2.
If beer is credited as the alcoholic accompaniment to social situations, then Diet Coke plays the non-alcoholic and health conscious role to the fullest. The famous sugar free Coke alter ego was introduced by The Coca Cola company in 1982 for people who “Love it Light”.
3.
Be your own Personal Trainer
Diet Coke can: approx 1 calorie
4.
Get your Beyonce on
Diet Coke
Tea
The most British of hot beverages, tea has always been the most preferred alternative to its arch rival, coffee. Cuppa Tea: 2 calories
Hot Chocolate
I know it is appealing, but get yourself a bike (preferably one of the cute ones with a basket) or walk to University and you are immediately doing your 30 minutes a day.
If Davina and Jade Goody can do it, so can you. Get a bunch of friends over, clear a space on your floor, and prepare for lots of laughter, falling over, AND toned muscles.
Practising your moves in Sinners’ infamous cage is actually a lot better for you (although maybe not any less embarrassing in the morning) than you might think, burning 350 calories an hour at your most energetic (read: when drunk).
5.
What can be better than chocolate? How about chocolate steaming hot and swirled to perfection; perfect on a cold winters day in the Toon. Starbucks Hot Chocolate, with no whipped cream (340 g): 204 calories
Are you one of the many who feels that falling over whilst attempting the upsidedown cat in Yoga class or being criticised by the other more rhythmically gifted individuals for your Zumba technique may not be your cup of tea? If the answer is yes then your choice is clear: get involved in some proper competitive sport in the Intra Mural leagues. You have the option of competing in football, rugby, netball or mixed hockey so there really is something for everyone. Intra Mural football now includes four leagues with teams ranging from the allconquering Barca-Law-Na to new outfit Sub Standard Liege; there is also a 7-a-side league for those who favour the smaller form of the beautiful game. What is more, you can follow your team’s progress with match reports and league tables in The Courier.
Five free ways to get fit
Resist the Metro’s magic
Standard Lager large Bottle/Can 5% ABV (500 ml) : 215 calories, 2.5 units
I’m not what you would call a ‘gym-goer.’ Case in point - I do not actually own a pair of trainers; always a good start. But as I slowly drop into my overdraft I feel that I might as well use it and drop a few pounds too. Isn’t that why most Freshers join? Fear of gaining the ‘Freshman 15’? The alcohol consumption and late night pizzas have to go somewhere - and I don’t want it be to my thighs. So I decided it was time to check out the worldwide phenomenon that is Zumba. How do I explain Zumba? The workout is similar to when I put the Arctic Monkeys’ ‘I Bet That You Look Good On The Dancefloor’ on at full blast and jump around in the privacy of my own room. Except, instead of lasting four minutes you are shaking your thing for an hour. And instead of imagining yourself at a gig you are feeling the Latin flavour of Carnival. So go with your friends to have some fun, because even if you don’t enjoy the gym, you will probably enjoy Zumba.
Illustrations: Daisy Billowes
Sexercise
Good for your heart and burning calories at an average of 150 per half hour, the best form of exercise shouldn’t be too much of a hardship.
Catherine Davison
Do students know how much they’re really drinking on a night out? Katie Entwisle Stage 2 Linguistics with French How much do you drink per week? It varies because sometimes I go out a few times a week but sometimes only once. Do you know how many units you drink on an average night out? I’m not even sure how many units are in the things I drink. I usually pre drink before going out though, and then go to a trebles bar before a club. I do drink quite a lot when I go out, definitely above the recommended allowance! Do you worry about the effects on your body? I am concerned about my weight but when I’m drunk the amount of calories in alcohol doesn’t really concern me.
Emma Lingard Stage 1 Business with French How much do you drink per week? I go out a few times a week and always drink before going out. I generally drink things like vodka, cider and wine and then go to a trebles bar before going to a club. Do you know how many units you drink on an average night out? I have no idea! Do you worry about the effects on your body? I don’t really know the effects to be honest, and it doesn’t really concern me. I just find it fun to drink so I don’t get put off.
The Courier
sex&relationshipslifestyle.27
Monday 22 October 2012
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Blind Date Katie Smith, 1st year History, meets Kalvin Sahota, 2nd year Biomedical Science
Katie on Kalvin
Kalvin on Katie
First impressions? My first thought was ‘I know you’. I’m a Fresher this year and he was one of the Fresher’s Reps. During Freshers’, we both went to a Revolving Restaurant and for some reason he put some bits of paper in my handbag. I can’t really remember why but apparently I got angry. Also I remember us discussing the fact we’re both from the Midlands. Any striking conversation topics? We talked about a variety of things really; ranging from halls, courses and societies. He asked me whether I was a cat or a dog person. I then asked him whether he was a Mars bar or a Snickers person. Any awkward moments? Yes and no. I think we both made jokes about having a list of stereotypical First Date subjects to talk about; which we actually pretty much covered. If you were to get married and have babies, what would you want your baby to inherit from your date? He’s really chatty which is a good thing and he seemed completely comfortable in the situation. He’s also smart yet seems like he can party hard too. Did you open the ex-file? No, nothing like that came up in conversation. At any point did you understand why they were single? No not at all, he seemed like a normal nice guy! Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss? No, Mensbar is not really the place. If you were to take them home do you think your parents would approve? Yeah I’m sure they would, he’s a nice guy. Marks out of 10? 7/10 Would you meet up again? Yeah I would meet up again as friends. If we ran into each other on the street I think we’d definitely stop and chat.
Lavinia Eastwood
First impressions? I recognised her straight away which was weird. I came to the Blind Date with no expectations which is probably the best thing to do. Any striking conversation topics? We talked about our worst Freshers’ moments. We also talked about how we lived in rival cities that are pretty close together. She’s lived in quite a few different countries which is cool. Any awkward moments? No, not really. Apart from the fact her date from the other night was sat kind of near to us so she wanted to move places. In general, the conversation flowed well and there weren’t any awkward pauses. If you were to get married and have babies, what would you want your baby to inherit from your date? I don’t like my nose so let’s say her nose. Also her hair is better than mine. Did you open the ex-file? No I purposefully avoided that subject on the date. At any point did you understand why they were single? No I guess not really, bit confused why she’s single in fact. She’s attractive and we had a good laugh on the date. She’s got good banter. Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss? No of course not. I’m polite, a true gentleman in fact. If you were to take them home do you think your parents would approve? Um that’s difficult to say. Sounds funny but they’d probably say “So you’ve brought another white girl home?”. Marks out of 10? 7/10 Would you meet up again? Yeah, I don’t see why not.
Unlucky in love? The Courier is here to help! Send your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk and you could feature in our next Blind Date
Diary of a Party Girl #1 - Deluge at Legends
Deluge at Legends on a Wednesday has become something of a rite of passage for the students of Newcastle. It is a haven of shamelessness, where straightarm drinking is classed as normal, and congratulations are in order if you’ve left without one or both of your shoes getting stuck to the floor and disappearing forever. There’s no doubt about the fact that you will have a lot of fun here, but there are a few things worth bearing in mind if you want to wake up not completely smelling of vodka and shame. 1. Bonding with a total stranger over the simple fact that you both (vaguely) know the words to The Jackson 5 - ‘I Want You Back’ is not the basis of eternal friendship. This will end only in awkward attempts at avoiding eye contact for the rest of the year, as you both pretend you didn’t once hold each other whilst wailing “All I neeeeeeeeeed!” in high-pitched voices. Once all evidence of double-handed VK sprays have been removed from your clothing, you will find yourself wishing you could disappear into the black abyss that appears to have stolen your footwear. 2. You have enough friends. Barry the doorman does not need, nor does he want, to be your new BFF. Taking pictures with him/trying to sneak drinks into the smoking area/generally being your usual witty and charming self, is more than likely going to result in a massive SHF (sense of humour failure). He’s tired, will you let him be? Odds are, you’ll find someone else to make up a secret handshake with you. 3. You may well be led to believe that you are tearing up the dance floor and that Sean Paul is singing about you and you alone. However, you are not Beyonce - the woman has had years of professional dance training. Please try to remember this when ‘Crazy in Love’ comes on, as there are cameras everywhere... 4. You might not remember, but PullCam definitely will. This twisted invention is kind to no-one, makes for hours of entertainment and is best avoided at all costs. I can guarantee you nobody has ever seen themselves in one of these albums and thought, “Hey, I actually look really great and pretty sexy in this picture, I should go for pure unadulterated passion in every photo taken of me, it’s really working for me here.” That being said, if you do get caught on the Stride of Pride leading your lucky lady/ man-friend up the stairs, there’s little left to do but embrace the situation; attempting to hide your face or cover the camera is totally pointless, you cheeky minx, and who do you think you are anyway, Brangelina?
28.lifestyle
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_life
What are yee taakin aboot man?
Naked Bakin’ Saucy Sticky Toffee Pudding I hope that everyone’s attempts at my ultimate cookies from last week’s paper were both pleasurable and rewarding. I thought this week we would take it up a notch with sticky toffee pudding, the ultimate indulgence and family favourite. For our house it’s an extremely practiced recipe because no matter what problem your heart has it can be solved with a generous piece of sticky goodness.
Eh? What? Pardon? If you’ve just landed in Newcastle, it’s likely that you’ll be asking taxi drivers to repeat themselves for some time. The Geordie accent may be friendly but it can also be difficult to decipher. To help you avoid those awkward moments of miscommunication, resident Geordie and Lifestyle Editor Lauren Stafford has devised a short guide to some choice phrases. Divn’t fret pet.
For the sauce 300ml double cream 150g/5.3oz light brown sugar 50g/1.8oz butter Let’s talk equipment! Mixing bowl Whisk (if you are lacking one of these then the mighty fork will suffice) A cake tin-around 20cm (you can buy a cheap one from Wilkos for £2) 1. Preheat the oven to 180c/160c fan/gas mark 4. 2. For ease, wrap the tin in foil.
An expression of incredulity or disbelief. Translation: You must be joking sir. You are not speaking the truth.
Should be said with some gusto. Translation: Yes, that is most wonderful.
Divn’t cowp yer kreels!
This isn’t a pudding for the faint hearted! It’s intense, creamy and calorific. If you’re like me, you’ll understand that this adds up to a great dessert and a great time. Apart from soothing the soul, sticky toffee pudding is a sure fire way to win anyone over. There’s something utterly irresistible about anything hot, gooey and sticky. So let’s get started... Ingrediants For the sponge 150g/5.3oz butter 100g/3.6oz light brown sugar 4 eggs 2 teaspoon vanilla essence 280g/9.9oz self raising flour 1 tablespoon golden syrup
Hadaway man. Ye taakin shite
Aye, that’s champion
My take on the classic recipe makes the task easier but it will still be just as tasty and removing the raisins or dates means you are saving yourself unnecessary faff. Let’s face it, most of us pick them out anyway. This recipe also doubles the amount of sauce you’d normally find because it’s the best bit. The wetter the better is my motto! Making the sauce is obviously my favourite part of the process as it’s a sin not to taste it every 5 seconds and making a sticky mess is intrinsic to the method.
Restaurant Review The Stand Bistro
Opening times:
Pre-show from 4pm-7pm 0191 232 1410
Aye, she’s a reet canny lass hor like In agreement. Translation: Indeed. She is an extremely affable lady.
Especially handy if you’ve got a weak bladder. Translation: Where is the lavatory? Lauren Stafford
Located on Highbridge Street opposite Theatre Royale, The Stand Bistro is trendy and cosy. It is above and part of the The Stand Comedy Club Newcastle, already providing you with a potential laugh to end the night of delicious dining. On entering the Bistro, before you are greeted by friendly staff and offered a drink at the bar, you notice the doorman, whose purpose seems to be to complete the VIP feel of the decor. Candle-lit with fresh flower-filled vases on tables, modern art on the walls and with pleasing background
Sally Priddle
“Trendy and cosy”
31 High Bridge, Newcastle upon Tyne
Useful if you’ve got a particularly clumsy or ungainly friend. Translation: Do not fall over in a spectacular fashion!
Weors the nettie?
3. Cream the butter and sugar together in a bowl. 4. Gradually add the eggs and use your mighty fork to combine them together. 5. Then add the flour and fold in until the mixture is a smooth but thick consistency 6. Finally add the vanilla essence and golden syrup and mix them in. 7. Put the mixture in the tin and put in the oven for 25 - 20 minutes (best way to test that your cake is cooked, stick a knife into the cake and if it comes out clean then you’re done!) 8. Whilst the cake is in the oven, it’s sauce time! In a pan, melt the butter and add the sugar and cream and combine until the sauce is a lovely toffee colour. It will take about 3 to 5 minutes for the sauce to thicken. 9. You can either pour the sauce over the whole cake or cut it into individual slices 10. Serve with ice cream for the ultimate indulgence.
music, you can’t help feel a warm glow, because your expectation of a satisfied stomach is going to be complemented by satisfying surroundings. When deciding what to have, the menu is interesting. It isn’t extensive but that does not mean to say it is lacking in variety. With a fusion of Asian cuisines and a touch of Mediterranean there is something for anyone who is willing to try something different. Despite the fact that it sits above a stand-up comedy club it trades your average ‘burger, chip and a pint’ deal for an open
wasabi and yuzu beef burger, Togarashi mayonnaise, pickled ginger and fresh cut chips. In terms of taste, The Stand Bistro provides a treat. The combination of ingredients is inventive but not completely unheard of. My hazelnut and chocolate torte was accompanied by cream and strawberry jam – typical for scones but amazing with the torte. The quality does outbalance the quantity, but the quality is high, the presentation impeccable and the quantity not too far behind. When eating three courses, this is most preferable. These advantages do come at a cost though, and for the average student dinner at The Stand Bistro should probably be reserved for a special occasion. Lunch, however, is a bargain, with three courses costing only £10 and the pre-show ‘early bird’ menu is also a reasonably good deal. Scones are available throughout the morning if you fancy high tea and coffee is served all day long. For the evening there is a good wine list, a range of liqueurs, whiskies and craft beers but as the website warns, they don’t do alcopops and they have no trebles for a quid – The Bistro isn’t your average pre-drinking bar, it’s much fancier! The pleasant experience is heightened by the fact that the staff are eager to please. The customer service was brisk and as well as the standard mid-meal ‘is everything alright for you?’, we were presented with two complimentary tickets to catch the final acts of the comedy gig. The broad range of stand-up is not to be missed, as well as the upcoming winter menu, which, as of 5 November, I shall be happily trying. As the weather warms up again, you can even enjoy your food in The Stand’s pretty outdoor courtyard which is perfect for intimate parties and chilling to the beats of a live DJ. Katie Smith and Nicole Stevenson
The Courier
lifestyle.29
Monday 22 October 2012
Lifestyle Editors: Lauren Stafford, Em Rae and Catherine Davison Online Editor: Victoria Mole
Penny Pincher
Top 5 budget gyms
If you’ve managed to sum up the motivation to go to the gym you may feel slightly overwhelmed with all the different deals available. Here are our top picks in the Toon:
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Impulse Fitness
This is the big one. Newcastle, this sch Run by Active choice of the city’s eme gives you a huge including five poolsfitness facilities, and over 100 week , ten leisure centres to mention extras ly exercise classes, not inductions and diesuch as sauna use, gym tary advice. Student memberships are £2 making it the best 0 a month, probably value-for-money fi deal around. tness
y t e i c o S Swap I
t’s fair to say that contemporary dance isn’t something that comes naturally to the average ice hockey player, especially those suffering from the wonderful beverages supplied by Basement the evening before. Nonetheless, three brave members of the Ice Hockey team embraced the intoxicating fumes provided by the Venue in the Students’ Union in preparation for the humiliation that lay ahead.
Free trial hoppingbs will give a small free
head gyms and fitness clu Many of the city’s tential members. Living Well in Gatesils, po y tra us Da 1 e fre er off trial for curio re includes ss in Eldon Squa and Impulse Fitne Gosforth offers a 2 Day Pass, which e 3 Day fre in a h ers alt off He n Heato Nuffield ile Fitness First in nt Beans exercise classes, wh ess consultation) through the Stude full tn eir fi th g r coy about Pass (includin ese places are rathe in person website. Many of thon the internet, so shopping around it well, an sts Pl co s. ip ice pr rsh e th membe way of checking all rest of is probably the onlyost do a free weekly workout for the anyway. deals alm as tm ris Ch stand you could Po ones they start their the semester, whenthe best ways of getting into the fancy of e on o als This is with free toiletries.
Best monthly deals
The Gym, located in the city centre, is currently offering an introductory £10.99 month deal, Body Zone, also located a city centre, advertises £15.99 a monthin the DW Fitness in Byker have a student and deal for £19.95, though they all vary in facil locations, and what extras get includedities, deal. Most of them include fitness class in the don’t require a permanent contract. es, and Living Well in Gateshead offers free members through October, and a student disco hips all you start paying, while David Lloyd, unt once in South Gosforth, are also giving a free month’s bership if you sign up before October mem31st.
Poverty
If you know you won’t make full use of a gym membership, signing up for individual fitness classes or pool passes may be a lower cost way of getting fit. Alternatively, there’s always the option of going for a jog round the park, which won’t cost you a penny.
17 Oct Just SO great to be back in Jesmond. Literally just got back from Henry’s who’s still absolutely buzzing from Malaysia; I definitely would have gone but I’d already promised Izzle that I’d save turtles with her in El Salvador. I was telling Henry all about how inspiring those little things were. Absolutely despo to buy one but the reservation was being super arsey about it. The nightlife was insane, met some sick people, added them all on facebook, gonna stay in touch. They didn’t have wifi in El Salv so couldn’t check my email all summer (turns out the system is buggered anyway so it won’t sync to my iPad). Abs mare. I would have gone to the Apple Store for help but there isn’t one in Jesmond so I bought another one online. 19 Oct
Rebecca Price
This week, the Ice Hockey Club travel en masse to the Union to try their hand at contemporary dance The Dance Society, being a mostly female group, were running a ‘bring a guy’ session in order to promote dance for boys. Thus our visions of being surrounded by many a female dancer were quickly diminished when a sizable number of rugby players turned up. We all spaced out around the diesel covered dance floor to begin the ‘warm up’ designed to limber us up, though mostly it tired us out and proved how inflexible we were. We covered several ‘basic’ routines in groups of three or four, before performing them in front of the rest of the group, under feelings of great embarrassment. However it soon became clear to us that we were not the only ones struggling to master this new experience. Remembering every step of the routines proved to be quite a challenge, as did making sure everything was performed in sync with the rest of the dancers. To finish off we did one final routine consisting of floor slide manoeuvres, backwards somersaults and some partner work. Sadly we had to resort to sharing a dancer between us who looked fairly nervous at the thought of throwing herself at us in the hope that we would catch her. We were broken down into three groups so that we could perform under the watchful eye of the rest of the members. The first group went without a hitch with several pairs dancing magically together, finishing with some adventurous throws and catches. The second group featured the Ice Hockey President who used all of his balance and elegance to wow his beautiful dance partner. Last to go was one of the club’s few remaining goalies, whose grace was matched only by his inability to catch and keep hold of his dance partner. The year ahead for Ice
With Louisa HarringtonSmythe
Hockey is looking hopeful. All things aside we had an enjoyable time and will be sure to utilise the dances we’ve learned, both on the ice and in the cage at Sinners. So a big thank you to the Dance Society for putting us at ease and showing us that not all dance is lame we hope to see you on the ice soon.
Fancy trying something new and promoting your own society in the process? Get involved with Society Swap! Email us at c2.lifestyle@ newcastle.ac.uk or tweet us @Courier_Life. Jack Williamson and Tom Sproule
Nipped to Waitrose with Frederica to get some essentials. Soda water, multivits, swordfish and fabric softener for my new Laura Ashley towels. Thought I could wash my Barbour in the machine that’s in our kitchen but Mummy says you have to take it in to a special launderette where they use their hands. 20 Oct Massive night tonight, heading to George’s for pre-lash before hitting up Cosmic. Henry says his friend from hockey knows the owner’s nephew so he can get us free entry before eleven and a bottle of Moet. The underground scene is just filthy fresh at the moment. Social Butterfly is so 2011. Everyone tries too hard there. I’m just gonna shove up my hair in a high top knot, throw on some high-waisters which actually look great with my brother’s old T-shirt he got when he was skiing in Andora. I’m trying this new thing where I wear clothes that have already been used? It’s so cas in Cosmic anyway, don’t wanna give off the wrong impresh. I saw a girl in there the other day who was practically wearing a ball gown. Massively awkward. I was thinking of giving Henry a bottle of daddy’s wine but not sure whether to go for the Tuscany or South of France vineyard. Both have such a good vintage. Might save the other for when we go to World Head Quarters – there’s this new drum and bass night on, it’s sick. If tonight’s anything like last time, I won’t even make it to the club. Got absolutely squiffy on Grey Goose at Olive’s 21st. Woke up on her chaiselongue the next day and was like ‘where even am I?!’. Such an epic night! I can’t remember a thing. One glass of Don Perrinon and I’m gone. Anyway, gonna go do lunch. I won’t be ordering anything though because I’m on this new diet where I don’t eat. Food wreaks havoc with my thighs. Ellie Cropper, Ellyn Bramley and Frances Allenby Illustrations: Daisy Billowes
30.arts
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Arts Editors: Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Onlinr Arts Editors: Grace Harvey
Print Versus Popcorn
Meet the new chaos kid of comedy Sally Priddle chatted to the Scottish comedy youngster Daniel Sloss in the run-up of his visit to the Toon about family affairs, robot wars and Pippa Middleton’s famous backside
D This week, our new columnist Shaun Thomas compares The Perks of Being a Wallflower on paper and on screen
S
tephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower debuted in cinemas last week, receiving good reviews from both critics, and viewers, alike. Rolling Stone’s Peter Travers led the praise, explaining that: ‘Perks deserves points for going beyond the typical coming-ofage drivel aimed at teens.’ The novel, released under the same name, and written by the director himself, also received standout reviews. However, with the film’s recent release it’s easily assumed that there’s no point in reading the novel at all. In fact, the two have some crucial differences, making for two unique experiences. Perks follows Charlie, a misunderstood, quiet teen and aspiring writer played by Logan Lerman, as he faces his first year of high school. He shortly meets Sam, played by Harry Potter’s Emma Watson, and her stepbrother, Patrick, played by Ezra Miller (We Need to Talk About Kevin) who welcome Charlie to their “island of misfit toys” as they set off to find their place in the world. The undisputed stars of both the film and book are the characters Sam and Patrick. Miller handles Patrick’s larger than life persona effortlessly, avoiding the “gay best friend” stereotype and evoking genuine sympathy from the audience. This is where the Patrick of the film and the Patrick of the book come together; in both you experience his every emotion. However, the novel gives just that much more as Chbosky explores the characters’ issues in a depth, which just isn’t possible in a film. This is one of the main differences between the novel and the film, and a definite advantage of the former. Some of Charlie’s domestic and friendship issues, which are explored poignantly in the novel, are not even included in the film. Although major issues, such as child abuse and homosexuality, were addressed in the adaptation, and done so successfully, the novel probes deeper to provoke questions surrounding Charlie’s loved ones and the world in general. Sam (Watson) is the subject of Charlie’s affections from the onset and consequently, is one of the focal points in both the novel and the film. However, as a character Sam is presented very differently in both: in the novel Sam is described through Charlie, resulting in a romanticised view which shrouds her in mystery, but in the film we are the ones judging Sam and creating our own impressions, resulting in a fuller more rounded perception. The film is, by far, one of the best movies of its genre and the characters were done a great justice by the actors, with some of the best performances going to Miller and Paul Rudd, who plays Charlie’s English teacher. However, if you liked the movie I couldn’t recommend the book enough. Although the issues raised deal with Charlie specifically, they are hugely insightful and will leave you questioning your own world. What do you think? Join the discussion at www. thecourieronline.co.uk/arts
aniel Sloss is a young and cynically crude comedian who is quickly becoming one the UK’s biggest names, but this hasn’t gone to his head just yet. Whilst I chat to Daniel he is attempting to cook a disastrous dinner for himself whilst swearing profusely and providing me with the best hangover entertainment I have ever had.
Daniel started comedy at the tender age of 16, but, as he puts it: “unlike some older comedians, I had a middle class home and a middle class upbringing, my parents never hit me or beat me but I still find a reason to moan. Well, we do live in Britain.” As we continue to discuss Daniel’s untraditional route into comedy, I ask if he always knew he was going to go into comedy, after he still hadn’t found anything he wanted to commit to following his half-arsed attempt at A-levels. Daniel explains: “If I don’t enjoy something I am not
going to commit myself to it, because basically I’m a wanker, I can see that totally isn’t how the world should work but meh, I’m a spoilt brat.” Despite getting a place at University it was actually his mum who told him to take a gap year and give stand up comedy a go. “I think they were just excited that I was doing something, and that something wasn’t drugs- but obviously now, when I’m on tour, I smoke weed all the time, so that sort of backfired on them.” With such an early start, it seems necessary to ask whether comedy was a natural thing for Daniel or whether he has had to cope with the occasional on-stage death. “Oh no, I’m an attention-seeking piece of shit and arrogant as fuck.” Despite this being a rather cocky description, he does go on to explain that as a comedian you have to be like this but at the same time you have to hate yourself. “I go up there thinking I’m good at this, it’s my job, but I’m also thinking ‘Please don’t hate me, no matter how flawed I am’.” Daniel is famed for his love of both his Xbox
and Robots Wars, which he went on with his dad as a child, so obviously our discussions turn to this exciting topic. “[Geordie comedian] Chris Ramsey and I have vowed that if we become really famous we are going to try and bring it back. I don’t know why they cancelled it. It was ‘my dad is better than your dad’ with robots - the modern Colosseum. Everyone was always like ‘It’s great ‘because no-one gets hurt’, but each robot cost like £3000 to make and then some prick with a better one would come along and burn your money in front of you.”
I’m an attention-seeking piece of shit and arrogant as fuck I’m now completely convinced that a comedian-presented Robot Wars is the best TV idea I have ever heard. Now that we have reached the intellectual peak of our conversation, I ask Daniel what game show he would take part in if he had to. “I think I would go on Total Wipeout. I would destroy it and I wouldn’t even be gracious about it, I would say to the other contestants ‘you have no idea what is going to fucking hit you, just get on a plane and go home now’.” I don’t think I can come up with any more questions that will deserve such an enthusiastic response, but I try anyway by ending by asking the standard - Pippa or Kate Middleton? Of course his answer doesn’t disappoint. “I’m an arse man, tits do nothing for me, well, not nothing, I think they are wonderful but for the arse reason I would say Pippa. But she does seem a bit sour-faced whereas Kate is always smiling which is amazing, particularly when you look at who she is married to.” A legend in the making, I have fallen madly in love with the crude and frank comedy that flows effortlessly from Daniel Sloss. See Daniel on 4th November at The Stand and from 19th November on DVD: Daniel Sloss Live.
A sense of time and place
James Ricketts finds out there’s more to Newcastle than trebles as he visits the Laing Art Gallery’s new exhibition
F
UTURELAND NOW contains some of the finest photographic artwork to have been shown in Newcastle this year. Not only can one be mesmerized by the sublime aesthetics of the photographs, but also captivated by the serious undertone addressing the political and economic uncertainty of the times. Created by the artists John Kippin and Chris Wainwright, the exhibition is showing at the Laing Art Gallery until the 20th January 2013. On the 17th of November, Chris Wainwright will be holding a conference at the Laing Art Gallery to which the general public is invited as well. He told The Courier about the ideas behind the exhibition: “John Kippin and I first made Futureland in 1989, also shown at the Laing Art Gallery. It was an exhibition that we both felt captured the mood of the Thatcherite policies of the time and the effects they were having on the North East. It also was timed to coincide with the 150 anniversary of the birth of photography. We were looking for new ways to use photography and also to represent the North East. FUTURELAND NOW takes similar themes and we have returned to make images that put the current issues facing the region into a wider national and international context. We both are still looking to use photography in an unconventional way. Little has changed in the 23 years since the first show. There has been some changes to the look of the cities with some significant high profile buildings, The Sage, Baltic, Angel of the North etc, but they are working very much on the surface and not addressing the core issues of lack of employment opportunity and a wealth of social and economic problems.
The visible signs of the heritage of the region are slowly being overwritten and consigned to a romantic notion of the past.” The majority of the photographs have been taken just outside of Newcastle, but others concern the distant lands of Asia. The subject matter is the various landscapes of now departed industries and industry, effectively comparing North East and East Asia. The vast industrial expansion that China, Taiwan and Thailand have experienced over the last few decades seems destined to hauntingly follow the same rise and fall story of the North East’s economy. You can be forgiven if you visit FUTURELAND
NOW merely to appreciate the photographs’ beauty, without acknowledging the political messages and there are several ways to enjoy the abundance of visual stimulus; it is up to the viewer to contextualise the message behind the pieces or merely to enjoy their visual richness. The exhibition manages to take the studentviewer out of the Jesmond lifestyle and the boisterous nightlife of the city centre and instead confronts them with the gritty post-industrial realism of the North East. These photographs encapsulate the hard times that the population of the surrounding areas often fall on when economic recession rears its ugly head.
The Courier
arts.31
Monday 22 October 2012
thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_arts
Editors’ Pick Top 5 Arts Blogs & Websites In order to see and explore great art, you don’t need to go to a gallery. In fact, you don’t even have to leave the house. In the ever-expanding blogosphere, arts blogs have established themselves and offer something for everyone, from sculptures made out of books to gigantic pencil paintings. So whether you’ve only recently discovered your interest in all things artsy or spend your free time hanging out in the Tate, read our guide to the wonderful world wide web for a bit of inspiration.
We Make Art Not Money Despite the misleading name, ‘We Make Money Not Art’ is a hub of unusual and unique creativity. With its extensive category list, including ‘green’ and ‘sex’, there’s not much this blog doesn’t have to offer. Amongst the chaotic mass of photographs and colour, there are some great interviews and obscure book reviews to read as well as articles on foreign art. Admittedly, the overwhelming sprawl of endless content can be a little daunting, but is well worth the effort. Move over facebook, we’ve found somewhere else to waste our time. www.we-make-money-not-art.com
Booooooom!
You won’t find an instruction on how to build a bomb on this website, but an exciting collection creative work, including Film!, Design! And Photo! (yes, there are exclamation marks behind each category because each one of them is a statement!!!). This indie-style blog was founded only 4 years ago, but has become a popular place for artists of all trades to exhibit their work. That’s one of the great thing about Booooooom! - it’s more of a community than an exclusive space for the established arts elite. So why not give it a go and send in your work? www.booooooom.com
The Flaneur
previews
Vampires Rock
W
Sunderland Empire 24 October
ould you lose your soul to Rock and Roll? This month Sunderland Empire welcomes a show to die for. Literally. After its premiere in 2004 Vampires Rock is becoming somewhat of a sensation. With comparisons to the hugely successful ‘We Will Rock You’ and ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ it isn’t surprising the musical is attracting a fast growing fan base. Set in the year 2030, New York is inhabited by the undead. Baron Von Rockula, an immortal vampire played by Steve Steinman, is searching for a Rock Chic with whom he will spend eternity. It promises to be funny, raunchy and unashamedly cheesy. With rock anthems made famous by Guns ‘N’ Roses, Bon Jovi, ACDC and Alice Cooper to name a few, the audience will definitely be channeling their inner rock star as they belt out these killer tunes. The visual spectacle is also set to be quite breath taking, with the pyrotechnics of an arena tour and the ghoulish make-up perfect for the build up to Halloween. And lets not forget the PVC clad backing dancers: now this is a musical I can really sink my teeth into! Kate Errington
reviews
Radikal Words
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Northern Stage 24 October
or aspiring poets, musicians and fans alike, Radikal Words promises to be an excellent night of spoken word and music. Headlining is the renowned poet, musician and author Zena Edwards. She uniquely blends sensual poetry with a smooth jazz beat to create a finished piece, which is as vibrant as it is unusual. Edwards never fails to captivate an audience and is a must see for any aspiring poets or musicians. David Johnston, founder of poetry partnership Paralalia and accomplished slam poet also returns to the Northern Stage. Johnston combines an eclectic take on the modern world, with progressive attitudes and quick wit to present a funny, interesting and exciting routine. Anyone familiar with the slam poetry scene will surely have come across Johnston before, and his act is for enthusiasts and newcomers alike. Also on the bill is some of the North East’s local poetic talent in the shape of Jeff Price, Bob Beagrie and Mike Edwards. Radikal Words is set to showcase some of the finest established figures and up and coming talent on the spoken word scene and shouldn’t be missed. James Ross
Time and the Conways
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People’s Theatre 30 October - 3 November
he People’s Theatre production of Time and the Conways does exactly what it says on the tin - it plays with time. The story transports you back to 1919, forward to 1937 to catch a glimpse of the family’s looming future, before returning to 1919 to see the future beginning to unravel. The play begins with a night of celebration; the war has ended and there’s a birthday in the Conway household. In the midst of these festivities, the birthday girl, Kay, has a vision of their lives eighteen years on from the current time, revealing how everyone’s lives have erupted into chaos. The no longer wealthy Conway family is rife with problems, which have grown and developed over the preceding eighteen years. Act three, then returns to the starting point, throwing the audience back into the partying, however, now signs of the foreboding future are ever more apparent. The clever structure, has firmly established Time and the Conways as one of JB Priestly’s best ‘Time Plays’ and this latest production is set to be a fascinating watch. It promises to be captivating and thoughtful insight on the domestic tensions of family life. Olivia Petie
Written by poets, artists and the city stroller, The Flaneur, or ‘an illustrated journal of global culture’ is perhaps one of the most inspiring and insightful arts and culture blogs on the internet. Encompassing everything from art and literature, to travel and food, the site is an international phenomenon full of features, reviews and creative submissions. Unlike most other blogs, The Flaneur is truly unique in its content and design and makes the site a central hub of brilliance and inspiration. www.flaneur.me.uk
Colossal
If you follow the utterly adorable Neil Patrick Harris religiously on Twitter, you’ve certainly come across this page. He posts links to the hilarious/impressive/crazy artwork on Colossal all the time. The only problem with it: you will turn into an addict. It’s the artsy equivalent of stumbleupon or Reddit, so once you’re hooked you won’t be able to stop browsing all of their articles to find the artwork that makes you go ‘wow!’ the most. So thank you, Neil, for sharing your love for awesome things with us! www.thisiscolossal.com
Alliterati Magazine Born out of Newcastle University and still based in the NorthEast, Alliterati is a unique online platform guaranteed to provoke and inspire. Featuring submissions from almost every continent, they publish the pinnacle of traditional and alternative arts, as well as submissions from the finest creative-writers across not only the North-East but throughout the world. Published every quarter, Alliterati has amassed over 2000 hits per issue since becoming an online exclusive in 2010 and has established itself as an international publication of pure artistic brilliance and innovation. www.alliteratimagazine.com
Lisa Bernhardt, Grace Harvey, and Millie Walton
FAR
Comedy in the Dark
nspired by Roy Porter’s book Flesh in the Age of Reason, FAR endeavours to explore the connections between mind and body. As a dancer myself, I was thoroughly thrilled at the opportunity to review Wayne McGregor’s production. Unfortunately, my years of classical ballet training could not prepare me for this edgy and unorthodox production. Full of daring and experimental choreography, FAR exudes emotion and drama whilst remaining utterly simplistic. With plain costumes and an empty stage, the main set feature is a glorious lighting board that complements the dancers, without distracting the audience. The production begins brilliantly with an emotional duet surrounded by flaming torches. The music is classical and operatic at the start but becomes more electronically obscure throughout. Contrast is a key feature of FAR as the mood is volatile, varying from intense passion to sudden scenes of violence. Without a tangible storyline to follow, the hour-long production is just long enough to engage and intrigue the audience without getting too confused by the seemingly distorted scenes and lack of direction. Ultimately, FAR was sensual, violent, animalistic and yet absolutely beautiful. Inna Iljina
omedy in the Dark is a pretty unusual stand-up comedy show. For starters it’s all a little intimidating to sit for an hour surrounded by strangers in pitch black, listening to four comedians. However, once you’ve become accustomed to the darkness it becomes a very liberating experience. First on stage was Tom Allen. His act worked largely on audience participation, using their responses to create the humour. The dark acted as a welcome cover for many audience members who found the confidence to really get involved, making it one of the funniest parts of the show. Next up was Tony Jameson, a homegrown Geordie, who targeted the rowdier part of the audience by mocking the Northern way of life. Following Tony, was the talented, Vikki Stone who sang comically about her dating experiences. A skill made all the more impressive by the dark! Last on stage was Paul Foot, who told a story of love and sex, which, despite the comic potential, lacked the skill of the previous acts and was rather disappointing in light of the overall standard. Overall, the show was highly amusing and unique. The dark dissolved the boundaries between the audience and comedians to create a relaxed and free atmosphere. Monika Varzinskaite
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Northern Stage 11 - 12 October
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Live Theatre 13 October
32.musicreviews
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Music Editors: Chris Haywood and Sam Summers Online Music Editor: Sophie Coletta
How To Buy...
Local Business
80s Synthpop
Titus Andronicus
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Men in make-up, dodgy undercuts, alien sounds... It’s synthpop, the brilliantly bizarre British genre that dominated the ‘80s. Here’s where any wannabe New Waver should start:
For Beginners:
The Human League Dare! After achieving little success with two late 70s albums, Sheffield’s Human League split up; there was no hope for artsy circuit-based music in a rock ‘n’ roll world. Frontman Phillip Oakey, however, was determined. After recruiting teenage schoolgirls Susan Sulley and Joanne Catherall in a local nightclub, the reformed three-piece released Dare! in 1980. The album’s combination of experimental synthesisers and a sleek pop-sound made it a massive hit worldwide. It’s a genre-defining piece, bringing pioneering electronic sounds to the masses, and it continues to influence the digital beat-driven hits of today. It’s a pure classic 80s album, from the foot-stomping synth-punk of ‘The Sound Of The Crowd’ to the everybody-knows-it favourite ‘Don’t You Want Me’.
wo years ago, Titus Andronicus released fantastic American Civil War-influenced The Monitor, which managed to be ambitious in its themes (songs recall battles during the war, while the record’s title itself is named after an ironclad warship), while never becoming overly pretentious. Today they return with Local Business, whose problem from the outset is that it’s not The Monitor. But that’s not to take away from Local Business. It’s sort of like Kelly Rowland having to follow Beyonce; it’s good but it’s not quite the same level. Yet what Local Business does, it does well; above all else it shows Titus Andronicus to be the same smorgasbord of influences as before, mixing Shakespeare, Springsteen, and even Pulp to an extent. Patrick Stickles’ ‘talk-singing’ vocals, popularised by Springsteen and somewhat brought into the present day by The Hold Steady, are perfectly gravely and gruff and the raw guitars are back with a force. ‘Titus Andronicus vs The Absurd Universe (3rd Round KO)’ is the perfect example of the rough and ready Titus Andronicus we’ve grown to know and love (also possessing the best song title this side of a Future of the Left record). ‘Tried To Quit Smoking’ is a definite album highlight; plonked right at the end of the album, it’s one big crescendo leading up to a huge bang with which to end the album. ‘Electric Man’ though feels a little out of place, sounding more like a T-
Rex B-Side than anything else, yet that is one bum note in an album full of solid rock tunes. In the end, the problem with Local Business is not so much with the album itself, more that it’s living in the shadow of The Monitor. Local Business feels fun, which is never really a bad thing, but after two
‘Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend!
Company
The problem with Local Business is not so much with the album itself, more that it’s living in the shadow of The Monitor albums of raw emotion, it seems a bit jarring to suddenly see this side of Titus Andronicus. This is an album then that you need to listen to while pushing the rest of their discography to the back of your mind. A great album marred by the whole “album after the critically acclaimed album” problem.
If you like this, try... Recommended download: ‘Tried To Quit Smoking’
The Hold Steady - Stay Positive Japandroids - Celebration Rock
Chris Taylor
Jake Bugg
Andy Burrows
Jake Bugg
Godspeed You! Black Emperor
For Experts:
OMD Architecture & Morality Unlike pop starlets The Human League, Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark had no intention to produce hits - especially with a name like that. Inspired by the gloomy experimental soundscapes of German Krautrock veterans Kraftwerk, OMD released their third album in 1981. Although the album spawned three hits and sold three million copies, Architecture and Morality is often overlooked as a classic synthpop album, but the otherworldly melancholic beauty of tracks like ‘Sealand’ and ‘The Beginning And The End’, mixed with the catchy, offbeat mainstream vibes of singles ‘Souvenir’ and ‘Maid Of New Orleans’ make this album an understated classic. A valuable addition for any fan of the genre.
For The Bin:
Gary Numan Dance
Gary Numan is often hailed as the Godfather of synthpop. His iconic 1979 album Replicas is regarded as one of the first synthpop albums, pioneering the genre and influencing artists like The Human League and countless others with his Bowie-esque quirky charm. However, Dance goes to show that even geniuses make mistakes. The opener ‘Slow Car to China’ is nine minutes of artless fusion-jazz, and the album continues in that pretentious vein for 57 laborious minutes. According to Numan, the album’s title is ironic: the songs aren’t really danceable. Hilarious. Well, it seems audiences didn’t get the joke - or the single ‘Stormtrooper In Drag’, which missed the Top 40 - and so began a decline in popularity from which Numan has never recovered. Alex Bell
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our exclamation marks! In the band name! And the title! This must be the most overexcitable album ever! Of course it’s not. Godspeed are the droning sound of doom. They’re among the notable pioneers of post-rock, often making music that sounds like Sigur Ros’ darkest nightmares. There are four tracks here (‘songs’ is the wrong word), two of which are around 20 minutes long, the other two a mere six-and-a-half. This makes them the snappiest in Godspeed’s entire (17 track) back catalogue. Musically, it wanders through structures and themes, like a film soundtrack minus the film. There is something unidentifiable every few minutes, in a sort of ‘what are they doing to that poor bagpipe? Is that even a bagpipe?’ way. There are many moments recalling angry wasps, ambulance sirens and the breaks being pulled on a bullet train. But through the dizziness and distortion come moments of surprise, and even beauty. Middle Eastern melodies, guitars that sound like bird calls, a Chinese New Year cymbal parade. There are even riffs and hummable bits, though they’re often rammed through howls of feedback. The whole hour straight may be a challenge, but there are so many little features on this album that make it so damn interesting to listen to.
here’s a common assumption that drummers are just drummers: unintelligent and unable to do much apart from the basic action of hitting things with sticks in time to music. With his new record, Company, Andy Burrows rejects this stereotype and creates something quite beautiful and melancholy. This isn’t really a surprise though; in Razorlight, it became quite obvious that Andy had at least some songwriting skill, as exemplified in his involvement in the writing of the band’s big hits ‘America’, and ‘Before I Fall To Pieces.’ Company, however, takes a sharp turn away from the angular nature of Razorlight; instead, this record is endowed with a somewhat dreamy and airy feel. Although much of it owes itself to a somewhat folksy sound, this record is otherwise sonically diverse as evidenced in the chugging, driving feel of ‘Keep On Moving On’, to the sombre title track whose harmonies are complemented by Burrows’ soft, pleading vocals which fortify the hopeless portrayal of the decay of a relationship. Company is a hugely ambitious album, rife with creativity; it ultimately reinforces Burrows’ skill as not that of a mere drummer, but a good songwriter as well.
efore the release of this, his debut record, Bugg had already sold out shows up and down the country, supported the Stone Roses and Noel Gallagher, and had gained overwhelming attention from Radio One. And all of this came to Bugg from a simple selection of chords and an acoustic guitar. The album contains the singles ‘Taste It’ and ‘Lightening Bolt’; simple acoustic-pop songs with a surprising, underlying amount of power behind them. What is quite unexpected, then, is that alongside this is a great amount of dark poetic folk songs, something that hints we may have a reincarnation of Bob Dylan in the works, but one who can amp it up. Indeed on tracks like ‘Fire’, the calm acoustic track that closes the album, the warm vinyl crackle of an analogue-recorded track fits perfectly with the vintage edge of the album as a whole. However, whilst some tracks do sit in the background without particularly standing out, they are perfect if you’re feeling like a cosy night in or a nice bubble of peace on the Metro. There are also plenty of songs perfect for night-on-the-town preparation. This man is simply oozing talent and when this album is released it’s safe to say Bugg will become bigger.
Recommended download: ‘We Drift Like Worried Fire’
Recommended download: ‘Keep On Moving On’
Recommended download: ‘Taste It’
Becca Price
For tonnes of web-exclusive playlists and live reviews, check out The Courier music section online.
Charlie Dearnley
Tom Payne
Follow The Courier music section on Twitter - @TheCourierMusic
Gig announcements, updates on the Newcastle music scene, track recommendations and exclusive articles. Oh, and plenty of #hashtags!
The Courier
localmusic.33
Monday 22 October 2012
thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music
SceNE: Introducing ... James Joys
Delving into the region’s exploding music scene, Kris Holland brings you a sample of what the North East can offer you... If you like music, then James Joys could be for you. If you like art, James Joys could be for you. If you like plaques with QR codes which, when scanned give you a track to download and you want to then remix said tracks to upload to Soundcloud, then James Joys is your man. The music lecturer at Newcastle, and member of local group The Guessmen who are currently in hibernation, has released his new EP, Glyphic Bloom in a way that he says also makes the piece an art installation, because you have to find the 12 plaques in order to listen to the full album (so don’t cheat and go on Soundcloud). ‘Investigating and interrogating the landscape’ is how he envisions the EP, and that, due to the amount of field recordings that are within the tracks it, ‘draws a lot on the theory of situations and the realism that goes with a city’. Listening to the album can be quite a difficult task, but that’s missing the point. What Joys is trying to do is much more than that – his combining of medias and art forms across the city is really quite groundbreaking, and can lead to learning more about the city for those who are ready to take the plunge and visit the eerie locations in which the plaques are situated. Joys takes his inspiration from the progressive Jazz pioneers of
the 60’s: he quotes Sun Ra and Max Roach as among those who make him ‘hungry’ to go out and make music, and it is these ‘radical beatmakers’ that Joys compares himself to, as opposed to any of the current artists today. So perhaps One Direction fans could give James Joys a swerve. When it comes to live shows, Joys was a little more reserved. There is a plan for one coming up, at Bar Loco, but it seems as though converting techno-cum-post-dubstepcum-contra-pop is going to be difficult, and he says that he would like to incorporate some visuals to make a truly spectacular live show. When asked where his ideal location for a gig would be, he said the ballroom above the Crow’s Nest, or the ballroom above the Co-op. So there it is, James Joys might sound a bit mental, because it is. However, it’s mental in a way that is thought provoking, and who knows, “beatmaking on the threshold of dance and experimentation” must be less weird than Sam and the Womp. It’s worth looking into this intriguing project, and going down to Bar Loco to dance/listen/create. I’m not 100% sure but, either way it’s sure to be a very interesting experience.
Confessions of a Failed Rock Star
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even years ago, I was 15. The world was my oyster, my headphones were constantly playing whatever NME told them to and I was happy. I was also studying GCSE music, and it was in that classroom that I was forced to sing a bit with a mate of mine who played guitar. Under normal circumstances, our cover of ‘If You’ve Got The Money’ would have been just that, – an idle song thrown by the wayside as millions of others have been - but we felt a click. A click that Lennon felt with McCartney, that Cash felt with Carter, that Vicious felt with heroin and Daphne felt with Celeste. Right then, we knew we were going to start something, and it was going to be something pretty fucking incredible and we were most likely going to change the world of music as we know it.
We felt a click. A click that Vicious felt with heroin and Daphne felt with Celeste.
Kris Holland
Oh, What A Night Two Special Nights. Two Clubs.
90s HipHop House Party World Headquarters
90s Hip Hop House Party is a fun, laid back kind of night. The casual fashion was a refreshing change: retro sportswear, nice trainers and cool leggings with surprisingly less snapbacks than I had forecast. Hip hop is the perfect music for this chilled out atmosphere, as is the venue, World Headquarters. It’s hard to take yourself too seriously when you’re dancing to ‘Up in Here’ by DMX. The emphasis was on classic hip hop with danceable soul/funk grooves and fun tracks to sing-along to. The top floor stayed shut for the first hour and a half or so, which allowed downstairs to fill up quickly and meant that even at midnight there was already a slightly busy, exciting buzz. The top floor filled up as soon as it opened half an hour later, and that is where the majority of people stayed for the rest the night. As a consequence the bottom floor became fairly empty and there were groups of people using the space to breakdance. It wasn’t as busy as the House Parties last year, but it was definitely a lovely atmosphere. The next party could potentially be busier if word spreads, and I personally would recommend coming down for something unique. Future dates of both events can be found on their respective Facebook pages at www.facebook. com/90shiphophouseparty and www.facebook.com/ CreamNewcastle.
Cream
Newcastle University Students’ Union Venue
With a list of ingredients consisting of fluorescent neon paint, trebles and a teasing list of jaw-dropping DJ’s, this well-anticipated event was a hot ticket in the Tyne. Humorous advertisements depicting Prince Harry, Lana Del Ray and even Boris Johnson in attendance heightened expectation of this event, as did the line up of DJs such as Homespun, Lee Ellis and Andy Mac. Yet with anticipations all well and set, the immediate impression was somewhat different to any expectations. With a bass-pumping, electro-techno charged electricity pulsing throughout the Students’ Union, and a relatively small crowd of attendees in sight, disappointment set in. The same monotonous bass hummed throughout the Union for what seemed like hours, with still no introduction to the DJ. Nevertheless, with every thump of bass, our line up of irreplaceable DJs got closer, and it was these saviours with their remixes, which helped bring the evening alive. Whether you’ve heard of these disc-spinners before or not, the evening was for anyone who was interested in letting their hair down. A newer, hotter recipe to your usual packed Union night dominated by chart toppers, Cream transformed the Union for the night with DJ sets full of classic crowd-pleasing beats. Tesni Fellows
This was for a number of reasons. Firstly, no-one from Yorkshire had ever started a famous guitar band; because of this, we knew we had a niche. Also, we’d been reading that very week that Tokyo Police Club - who were only 17 themselves were being tipped to be the ‘Best New Band in the World’, so our tender years wouldn’t stop us either. If I’d kept a diary at the time, I would have probably spoken about how I woke up the day after our first meeting to find that the grass was greener, and music was no longer something for me to just enjoy; it was inspiration. We inevitably began to plan our future. Demon Days by Gorillaz had just come out; we agreed that this could potentially influence our second album, after we’d established our fan base and then decided to push our own boundaries more. Obviously before that there would have been the celebrity girlfriends, and the tasty glue addiction. That was then though.
Since that time, that shit Jamie T cover has probably cost me about 5 grand, 3 years of my life, caused untold grief and really messed up my hearing. What you might know as a pleasant indie ditty mercilessly chewed me up before spitting me out here. In Uni. Writing a column. Not sniffing glue out of a bag with Johnny Borrell, not playing to packed out arenas or even seeing famous boobs. Just sitting in the library trying to write about all the stuff I did when I sort-of-nearly-but-neveractually got close to making it as a singer in a band. I hope you get some sort of enjoyment out of it. Sicko. Kris Holland
34.musicfeatures
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
The Girls Are Back In Town
This month saw the announcement that one of the most important groups in modern music history was reforming, so who is it? Oasis? Led Zeppelin? No, it’s the five-piece featuring ‘Wor Chezza’ herself, Girls Aloud!
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hrough their original seven year run, Girls Aloud undoubtedly changed British pop music and influenced many of the newer artists today...
Girls Aloud were the first artists to prove that the TV talent show formula could be successful. Formed in 2002 on Popstars: The Rivals, winners Cheryl, Nicola, Nadine, Kimberly and Sarah released the punchy and rocky ‘Sound of the Underground’ to compete with rivals One True Voice for Christmas number one. It was the first Girls Aloud song produced by Xenomania - the team that would go on to write all of their hits - and spent four weeks at the top spot. Their debut album went platinum and produced two more hits; ‘No Good
Advice’ reached number two and ‘Life Got Cold’ reached number three. The group returned in 2004 with the follow up What Will The Neighbours Say. The following year, the group released their third album, Chemistry, boasting the massive single ‘Biology’. The song was described by The Guardian as “the best pop single of the last decade”, and was praised for not conforming to the standard verse/chorus pop song structure. 2006 saw the release of their first greatest hits compilation, The Sound Of Girls Aloud, followed in 2007 by their third number one, a collaboration with Sugababes, covering Aerosmith’s ‘Walk This Way’ for Comic Relief. The group’s next release, Tangled Up, was another commercial success, giving us ‘Sexy! No No No…’, ‘Call the Shots’ and ‘Can’t Speak French’, all
of which continued to chart in the Top 10. 2008 saw the group’s final and most successful release to date, the Double Platinum Out of Control. Lead single ‘The Promise’ was their fourth number one, selling 77,000 in its first week and follow-up hit ‘The Loving Kind’ was a writing collaboration between Xenomania and the Pet Shop Boys. The album’s third and final release ‘Untouchable’ became the first Girls Aloud track not to enter in the Top 10, and shortly after, the group went on a ‘one year hiatus’, but never reformed. Cheryl’s success as a solo artist and as a judge on The X Factor meant that much of the limelight was on her, with Nadine’s solo effort failing dramatically, Nicola’s alternative album finding critical acclaim but little commercial success, and Sarah’s attempts at acting and personal problems gaining media attention.
The importance of Girls Aloud in British music can’t be overlooked. The group broke the mould of their pop band predecessors, S Club 7 and Steps, who appealed exclusively to 11 year-old girls. Girls Aloud’s audience was altogether wider and more mature; women and men, young and old. They proved that TV talent shows can work; yes, you get your Steve Brooksteins and Leon Jacksons, but once every so often you get something special. Bands like The Saturdays and Little Mix owe their image and success to Girls Aloud, and no doubt their reunion will provide stiff competition. Whether or not it’s a success, the group’s comeback will be welcomed by their many fans. They are, after all, the group that everyone hates to love. Tim Sewell
Whole Lotta History
In the wake of comeback single ‘Something New’ released at the end of last week, Chris Taylor takes a look back at just a few of the Girls’ masterpieces, and looks at whether the new track stands up in comparison 2002
Sound of the Underground
Straight off the back of Popstars: The Rivals, Girls Aloud come out with perhaps the greatest pop tune of the noughties, full of Dick Dale style American surf rock guitars and harsh electronic beats.
2003
2004
2006
This was a culmination of everything that came before it in one song. After a couple of ballads to take the fun out of Girls Aloud, ‘Something Kinda Ooooh’ is a meshing together of all the previous experiments which brought it right back.
Love Machine
Let’s be honest, it doesn’t really make any coherent sense, but boy is it a great pop tune. Leading on from the jump of ‘Jump’ into the buoyant pop world, ‘Love Machine’ was the best example of the new, bouncier Girls.
Jump
One year in and the Girls have reached the point where they’re making songs for films. It’s sort of like a rite of passage for pop groups, like doing the Tesco advert for comedians.
2005
2012
Something Kinda Ooooh
Biology
‘Biology’ brought Girls Aloud back to the infectious pop we know and love. Bits of Neneh Cherry here, bits of cabaret there, it was one of those pop singles that people who ‘don’t like pop’ absolutely loved!
2007
Something New After a long, long wait the Girls finally return this year with ‘Something New’, a gorgeous pop banger which appropriates the club sound Xenomania have used with The Saturdays and blends it with some of Girls Aloud’s more mental idiosyncrasies.
Walk This Way
There’s not much to say about this except it brought together both Girls Aloud and Sugababes to do a cover of the Aerosmith/Run DMC classic. What more do you need?
36.tvlistings
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
TV Editor: Chris Taylor Online TV Editor: Ben Parkin
Troopers of Telly
Matt Tate looks at the Girls heroes and heroines of the box. This week, it’s everyone’s Sky Atlantic, Monday 10pm favourite anthropomorphised aardvark, Arthur
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rthur is possibly the most inspirational aardvark the television world is yet to come across. As well as being impeccably dressed and astoundingly articulate for an eight year-old, typically nocturnal mammal, Arthur, teaches us all a valuable lesson. He’s been shaming us with his superior moral teachings since 1996, and is still doing his friends and family proud to the present day. Arthur doesn’t take revenge on the bully. He befriends him. He doesn’t resent his little sister, despite her irritating manner and insistence on tricking him into awkwardly falling out of the credits sequence every week. No, he loves her unconditionally. He would never ridicule a peer for reading a book; instead he would query as to what it was about. He even sits in class taking orders from a rat, and he does it with a smile on his face. And that’s because Arthur possesses a quality sadly lacking in so many of today’s youth. That is respect. Respect for your elders, your family, and even your common vermin schoolteacher. Sometimes you’ll watch Arthur and nothing much will happen, a cheeky prank with Buster perhaps, or a play-date with Francine. But, more often than not, you’ll leave the sofa having learned a valuable lesson about how to treat others. Considering just how nice a bloke Arthur is at such a usually impressionable age, I almost wish the show would document his life until university, just to see if he can possibly become any more upstanding. Alongside fellow children’s entertainers like Sponge-Bob Square Pants and Scooby-Doo, Arthur has to be commended for his ability to teach the value of normality. He may not solve crime in a colourful van, or live in a pineapple under the sea, but Arthur doesn’t need any of that to be cool. He doesn’t need to fill your head with silly mysteries or underwater mischief. He has a friend called Muffy yes, but why should that be funny? He’s a sensible, down-to-earth aardvark always up for a good time, but very conscious of the fact that homework needs to be done on time. His title song instructs us to believe in ourselves, and I think we should all believe in Arthur - he’s one of the good guys. A real trooper of telly.
he hit HBO show based around a group of 20-something girls living in Brooklyn is ready to hit UK shores courtesy of Sky Atlantic. Created by “mumblecore” indie darling Lena Dunham in collaboration with Judd Apatow (creator of some of the more realistic modern comedies), Girls is set to slot right in between Gossip Girl and Sex and the City. The former is based around
late teens/early 20 year-olds and the latter focused on women getting ready to settle down, but there is nothing in between for those trying to figure out their lives. Dunham has said that the characters in Girls have all been drawn to New York by Sex and the City and were now trying to fit into the adult lives in which they have been thrust. From working terrible temp jobs to dealing with a relationship that is gradually getting stale and another purely based on sex, the characters in Girls slowly work their way through these scenarios with equal mix of drama and humour, with a bit of added pretention to let you know they are trustfund, 20-somethings in Brooklyn. It’s interesting to watch the characters develop as the season goes on, particularly Hannah (played by Dunham herself). While we might think that Hannah is just thrust
into these situations as she starts to realise the way things actually are, particularly with her lover Adam, so does the viewer as the focus widens and we see the bigger picture, not just what Hannah wants us to see. It feels a lot more accessible to men than its most obvious comparison Sex and the City which is perhaps a result of carefully crafted storylines and relatable characters. It feels like a real slow burner but it probably works in its advantage. Spending most of the season loathing Adam, his progression led to me find him one of the best characters on the show by the end. A Sex and the City for the facebook and Instagram generation.
Made in Chelsea
Merlin
Fresh Meat
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BBC1, Saturday 8:25pm
E4, Monday 10pm
veryone with a TV has probably witnessed the Made in Chelsea hype, a bunch of rich people gallivanting around in an overly dramatic fashion. In typical Made in Chelsea style, the new series launched with an advert in slow motion, depicting the cast looking incredibly joyous while, in this case, going around a classic carousel. Of course you can already guess the ‘storylines’ from the lingering looks between certain members of cast: Spencer looking forlorn as Louise eyes up two new boys, Rosie looking very serious as though she wasn’t invited to go on the carousel ride, and Jamie being his usual ‘little boy’ self. This series also has a few new faces, the first of which is Jamie’s friend Andy. He looks a bit like Spencer, and describes himself as “optimistic, risky and ambitious,” whatever that means. Next up is Spencer’s friend Stevie, who is a bit like a less awkward Francis and fancies Binky. Last but not least, it’s Sam who is excited to meet all the pretty ladies. By the looks of it, Richard has a new lady – let’s hope Binky and Cheska like her! Hopefully this series will answer some burning questions from the last. For example: With Ollie’s new hair, will he finally be able to get a boyfriend? Has Jamie been able to get over Louise? Will Cheska ever stop harassing Richard’s girlfriends? All we know is it’s going to be another series of laughing at privileged 20-somethings.
Rosanna Hutchings
Chris Taylor
Channel 4, Tuesday 10pm
F
s Merlin returns for a fifth series, three years have passed and a great deal has changed. The series began with an eventful two-parter which saw the return of Mordred and a prophecy claiming that King Arthur will die at his sword. If the producers are to follow Arthurian legend, then this could well be the case. However, rumour has it that the show is not going to go in the direction the viewer will expect, and with Mordred having saving Arthur’s life already, it shows that anything is possible. With Merlin fearing Arthur’s death more than ever, he will have to rely on his magic to ensure his safety. Therefore this series could finally see Arthur discovering the secret of Merlin’s powers which would spell disaster for their relationship which provides many humorous moments for the audience. Morgana may not be the only powerful woman this series as Guinevere emerges as Queen of Camelot. It is almost inevitable that the two will come to blows at some point in upcoming episodes. Whatever series five does have in store, it looks set to be a good one with better special effects (minus the questionable appearance of what can only be described as a modern E.T.), new mythical creatures, and the return of a much-loved character.
resh Meat explores the dizzying awkwardness of ‘studentdom’ with great aplomb and it returns to Channel 4 this month, along with its cast of reassuringly dysfunctional characters. The premise? A motley bunch are thrown together in residential housing after they fail to get into student halls. Their turbulent first term featured (amongst other things) one man’s quest to lose his virginity, a backpack filled with stolen Chinese food and a Scot with a penchant for blow-drying chickens with no pants on. Undoubtedly we’re going to see the introduction of some new faces including Josie’s (Kimberley Nixon) coursemate Heather (Sophie Wu) who is a self-confessed ‘mental dental’ and undisputed hottie. She’s certainly caught the eye of the boys in the house and it looks like she’s going to be key in shaking up the group dynamics. Kingsley (Joe Thomas) has grown a token amount of facial hair and adopted a laissez-faire attitude to causal sex. Elsewhere, JP (Jack Whitehall) is back in all his obnoxious, public school glory and Vod (Zawe Ashton) continues to cling onto her university career whilst raking up some serious debt. Oregon’s (Charlotte Ritchie) affair with her English Literature professor has crumbled and she’s now platonically pursuing his wife in an attempt to improve her C.V. Oh, and Howard (Greg McHugh) is moonlighting in an abattoir. The foundations for a surreal second series are well and truly set.
Joanna Whitty
Lauren Stafford
The Courier
featurestv.37
Monday 22 October 2012
thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv
The X Factor: We’re taking it to deadlock
As doubts are continuously being cast at X Factor and it’s legitimacy, is it still worthy Saturday evening viewing? Helen Daly sticks up for it as a weekly spectacle, while Grace Harvey argues it really is just scraping the barrel
YES
British media throw them back into a mundane existence, which is in fact far more enjoyable than The X Factor would care to admit. This season’s premier certainly set the standard for the X Factor spectacle. During the live sing-off and judge’s decision, numerous dark figures, later confirmed as the shows producers, were seen casually whispering to the seemingly impressionable Louis Walsh whilst the ostentatious Rylan competed against distinctly average country singer Carolynne. After what was an outrageous display of poorly-acted deliberations, Louis controversially, although not unsurprisingly, decided to take the vote to deadlock, despite the better singer staring him in the face. My faith in humanity was then quashed as the British public apparently voted to save Rylan Clarke who would then go on to bastardise a mash up of classic songs (and ‘Gangnam Style’) in less than two minutes. And then to top all this off, an embarrassed Gary Barlow ‘stormed’ off-stage in protest of this ridiculous decision. All in all, this ran like a crappy soap opera; tragic acting, a piss-poor attempt at creating a dramatic story line and bland music in the background.
I
t’s Saturday night, you’re looking for something entertaining. Of course, you’ll probably more often than not, end up watching The X Factor. How could you not? Appearing all over Twitter and facebook, you’ll hear people doing their best/worst impressions of Peter Dickson (the voice-over artist) and most likely, someone will send you a message having a go at your love of MKOne. The X Factor is a truly global phenomenon which has been exported all over the world, most popularly in America, and has spawned new generations of entertainment/talent shows. The talent show format has been popular for years; since Opportunity Knocks, hopefuls have been piling on to our screens to impress and get their sought-after 15 minutes of fame. Whilst Popstars or Fame Academy may not have stood the test of time, The X Factor has always been there like a hug that blasts contemporary pop tunes in your ears every weekend. The show would not exist were it not for the contestants. Good or bad, we’ve laughed, cried and sung along with many of them. The audition shows at the beginning of the series have become almost legendary for producing some of the best ‘rubbish’ acts. Can anyone really say that they have not genuinely laughed at some of the ‘unlucky’ acts that stumble, shout and dance their way to the exit? The X Factor has produced some of the biggest pop stars of the last ten years - Leona Lewis, JLS and of course, the global triumph, One Direction. No one can doubt the influence that the show has had over the careers of these acts, and how they have been given a platform to continue to achieve genuine success. These acts have gone on to enjoy chart success with their debut albums and singles which shows just how influential The X Factor can be on the music industry. It is one of the most popular shows on TV which is proven by the massive viewing figures that it receives week after week,
which is no doubt helped by the masses of publicity it attracts every week. This keeps me, and the rest of the nation gripped - what will happen next week? Who will be voted out? Who will the judges upset? Love it, or hate it, The X Factor remains at the top of the pile, the cream of the crop… Let the fun continue!
NO
W
hat was once an honest singing competition has become a cheapened attempt to hold on to what few viewers it can still cling on to. Their desperate attempts to boost their ratings are beyond ludicrous, and
more often than not leaves this sham of a TV programme looking like a poor attempt at a parody. Between showcasing their ‘talent’ on morning news broadcast, and the romantic tales of various contestants being sloshed across various national glossy magazines, I passed disinterested a long time ago yet my weekend evenings are still plagued with this institution. Not even the great Houdini could escape the tragedy that is Rylan Clarke! Fair enough, the show has always insisted it is more than just a singing show priding itself on the creation of global superstars, but as it moves into its ninth series it struggles to be more than circus. Truth be told, it’s pretty difficult to trust a talentshow that dresses up Louis Walsh as a bond villain or one that marvels in watching people queue for their fifteen minutes of fame before having the
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‘The World’s Most Documentary-Obsessed Twenty-Something’
Narrated by Robert Webb, Tom Nicholson dissects the creepy and exploitative world of the BBC Three documentary. Find the most ridiculous title, the most z-list celebrity and controversial subject and you could potentially get your crazy documentary greenlit
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38.filmfeatures
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Film Editors: Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor: Chris Binding
Top
5
Bonding with Bond
With the release of latest instalment Skyfall just a few tantalising weeks away, Luke Hearfield takes a look back at the history of the iconic British action spy franchise
Bond Girls
5 Vesper Lynd She is perhaps the first Bond girl that 007 not just regards as just another female he met in one way or another, but that actually touched something inside of him. After all, he still (spoiler alert!) mourns her death in Quantum of Solace following Vesper sacrificing herself for him in the previous instalment of the franchise.
4 Pussy Galore Out of all the sexually suggestive Bond girl names, this is possibly the most hilariously obvious (apart from Octopussy maybe). Despite surviving the events in Goldfinger (probably due to being a savvy judoka), she is often mistaken for Jill Masterson, another of Bond‘s conquest who is killed by being covered in gold paint and whose dead body covered many a poster for the film.
3
“The name’s Bond… James Bond.” Don’t pretend the theme tune isn’t rattling around in your head right now. After half a century, six men have had the pleasure of playing the iconic role. Generations of young boys have grown up dreaming of joining Her Majesty’s Secret Service, toting a licence to kill and becoming the epitome of suave masculinity. Now that Bond has been on our screens for fifty years, totalling an impressive twenty-three films, its time to look back and indulge in the nostalgia of what James Bond has become and how Ian Fleming’s sophisticated spy creation has influenced today’s modern action man. What pops into your head when you hear ‘Bond’? While new postmodern Bonds have emerged like Bourne and any number of Jason Statham lunkheads that seem to circulate the box office, Bond has always remained the most sophisticated and the most popular. His presence is felt on an international scale; ever since he donned the black tuxedo and muttered the immortal pleasantry in 1952’s Dr No, James Bond became a household name. Sean Connery dazzled with sulphurous presence which left audiences shaken and not stirred. As Bond took on more adventures in the likes of From Russia with Love and Goldfinger, the villains became more menacing, and the Bond theme tunes became classier with the likes of Shirley Bassey and Tom Jones lending their talent to the franchise. Women at the time were nothing more than indispensable and interchangeable objects with ridiculously subtle names (Pussy Galore). The Roger Moore era (1973-1985) was when
Bond became camper (or more ‘fun’ for those who enjoy Moore’s performances). While the role was played with gleeful wit by Moore, films such as Octopussy and A View to a Kill lacked the integrity which the previous instalments possessed. Producers took the aura of what made Bond awesome (the gadgets and the charm) and exaggerated them to the point of discontentment (try not to cringe during the Gondola hovercraft scene from Moonraker - I dare you). As sociological factors developed so did Bond. During the Dalton/Brosnan years, women became more than just eye candy - with Halle Berry and Famke Janssen showed an alterna-
tive side to the typical female cliché. Judi Dench also forever immortalized the role of the stern M. But it was Daniel Craig who brought the role into the 21st Century, by delivering a grittier and certainly more human Bond than previously seen. In 23 outings the man has bedded 52 women, driven a catalogue of vehicles from A-Z and tallied a death chart of more than 352 people. Ladies love him and men want to be him. He’s the idealistic notion of every man’s inner child and you can see how he celebrates his Golden Jubilee with Skyfall, supposedly the best Bond in decades: coming to cinemas 26 October 26.
Spy speed date
With Bond under constant reinvention, Richard Jones looks at the pros and cons of the men behind the man, and questions which Bond is the best to date
Dr Christmas Jones Unlike most Bond girls from the previous films, nuclear physicist Dr. Christmas Jones, played by Denise Richards, was not merely introduced to the film to look pretty, but could also kick some serious butt. She is one of only three Bond girls so far that hold an academic title, proving that 007‘s female allies aren‘t just eye candy.
2
Sean Connery
George Lazenby
Roger Moore
The Good:
The Good:
The Good:
The iconic Bond for many people, Connery mixes ruggedness with smoothness in equal measures to be both a deadly spy and a womaniser.
Not much in my eyes although I guess he perfected the one-liner.
The Bad:
I disliked how comical the character became due to Moore’s camp line delivery and, by the end; he was looking too old to handle a fight believably.
The Bad:
The Bad:
Timothy Dalton
Pierce Brosnan
Daniel Craig
The Good:
The Good:
The Good:
The Bad:
The Bad:
The Bad:
It’s initially hard to believe Connery’s thick Scottish Accent as what goes on to be a typically English character!
Wai Lin
Lazenby definitely looks the part of a cool, ‘60s agent and he did pretty well with some exciting fight scenes in the one film he appeared in (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service). Nevertheless, he proves to be the least memorable, not really coming off as charismatic enough for James Bond.
Another tough lady who isn‘t just part of the film for the eye candy factors and doesn‘t (immediately) fall for James Bond‘s charm and his skilled use of guns (pun intended). She has been praised by several film critics as one of the best female characters in the series.
1 Honey Ryder Rightfully called the ‘original Bond girl’ and leading many Bond Girl Top Ten lists, Ursula Andress set the bar for any females following in her footsteps as 007‘s romantic interest. The scene of her walking out of the ocean in a bikini has become a cinematic icon, often copied, including Halle Berry in Die Another Day, but never reached. Lisa Bernhardt
Dalton brought a seriousness to Bond that was ahead of its time and the dark tone was that of a hardened spy. Due to the more serious tone presented, Dalton doesn’t exactly excel with Bond’s classic quips.
Brosnan, like Connery, is believable as both a womaniser and a spy, bringing a good level of sophistication to the role. He suffers slightly from having been in a few of the more outlandish Bond films (Die Another Day, anyone?) and possibly looks a little too old by the end of his reign.
Craig brings a level of physicality and brutality to the role that makes him a believable choice as a globe-trotting super spy. He doesn’t necessarily look as suave as we’ve come to expect of Bond and can sometimes seem a bit cold and distant.
The Courier
reviewsfilm.39
Monday 22 October 2012
thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Film
On The Road (15) Based on the famous 1957 novel by Jack Kerouac, On The Road follows the life of aspiring writer Sal Paradise (Sam Riley) and the enigmatic and charismatic ex-con Dean Moriarty (Garrett Hedlund). Both quickly form a close bond, which seems to develop into what I can only describe as a ‘bromance’, with Sal following Dean and his 16 year old wife Marylou (Kristen Stewart) across America, to begin his travels all over the country with a host of eccentric travellers and intellectuals. On The Road promises an insight into the complexities of these lost intellectuals, with the plot focusing on the character’s escapades with drugs, booze and a host of sexually-liberated men and women. It attempts to relate the free-spirited nature of the travellers, the tough life on the road, of hitchhiking, dirty hotels, and the bare landscape of America. The first half of the film does this to great effect. The jazz music of the 1940s provides a very atmospheric sound track, with Riley’s gravelly and very convincing American accent providing a great narration. Furthermore, the film is perfectly cast. The characters came across like they were intended to in the novel, with lost intellectuals, lost men, lost
Hotel Transylvania (U)
As is to be expected in October, this is the time of the year when cinema-goers like to indulge in the horror genre. While the majority of students will flock to see the likes of Paranormal Activity 4 or Sinister, those who prefer a fluffy-warm message rather than jolts and screams may want to check out Hotel Transylvania. Obviously, as it’s intended for the youngsters, the horror takes a back seat and lets the comedy do the driving. Well I say comedy - more of an occasional snigger. Count Dracula (Adam Sandler) runs the world’s most renowned getaway resort exclusively for monsters, and has invited all of the Scooby Doo villains you can think of to celebrate his daughter’s 118th birthday. What he didn’t count on was an unexpected crasher in the form of human backpacker Jonathan (SNL star Andy Samberg). What follows are the feeble frolics of Dracula trying to prevent his guests from discovering a human being has crossed the threshold, while also averting his daughter Mavis (tween star Selena Gomez) from falling for Jonathan. With the concept of monsters being terrified of humans already previously explored in Pixar’s Monsters Inc, it becomes difficult to relish any of the mayhem on screen. The plot almost seems lazy in its developments, which opt for ignorance rather than intelligence. Even with a cast swarming with comedians there are very few laughs that both kids and adults can share. VERDICT: While this would be a perfect seasonal film to take a niece or nephew to, Hotel Transylvania can’t compete with the likes of Shrek or Up. While there are moments which warrant a giggle, they are sparse and far between. But if you have an immature sense of humour and a tolerance for Adam Sandler then this might be up your alley. Luke Hearfield
girls, travelling to ‘find themselves’. Kristen Stewart was surprisingly tolerable. Her portrayal of Dean’s seductive and sexually liberated Marylou didn’t make me want to gouge my eyes out (which is as nice as I can get about K-Stew), and there are some surprising A list cameos from Hollywood’s cream of the crop. Kirsten Dunst, Viggo Mortensen, Amy Adams (what is she not in these days!) and Steve Buscemi (I don’t think I’ll ever look at him in the same way after a very graphic sex scene) to name a few. Unfortunately, this is where I run out of nice things to say. Although well acted, Sal seemed like a stereotypical ‘lost intellectual’, which is the same for nearly every other male character in the film. Tom Sturridge’s Carlo Marx, who brings an interesting theme of gay romance (with Carlo unable to deal with his hidden relationship with Dean) seems to come out of the two-dimensional pattern of the characters, yet disappears half way through the film never to resurface. Camille (Kirsten Dunst) - Dean’s second wife who is left abandoned by cheating husband - would have been heartbreakingly sad if only she had featured for more than five minutes.
Walter Salles, the director, also responsible for 2004’s brilliant The Motorcycle Diaries, seems to focus too much on delivering the aimless nature of the travellers than the plot itself. He aims for episodic moments, however, his approach falls short at rambling. Moreover, at over two hours long, On The Road seems to just go on and on and on.
VERDICT: A film that starts off promisingly, with some good acting, and great soundtrack, but never really amounts to anything impressive, lacking any excitement to keep the action going, and with one too many uncomfortable sex scenes. Definitely not one for a first date.
Liberal Arts (12A)
Ruby Sparks (15)
Tabu (15)
Older guy meets younger woman - this literary/ cinematic topic is older than the number one sugar daddy Hugh Hefner himself and has been used in countless films. The formula probably works so well as it is usually infused with a somewhat forbidden sexual tension, and Liberal Arts is no exception to this rule. However, this film puts a refreshing intellectual twist to the story, fitting in with Radnor’s most famous role as the loveable Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother. Thirty-something Jesse Fisher (Radnor), a bored English graduate and literature enthusiast from New York, returns to his alma mater in Ohio for his favourite professor’s retirement party. Back at college, he meets the professor’s daughter Zibby (Elizabeth Olsen) who shares his love for the written word and the arts. They become pen pals, and a tender romance begins to blossom. But as things start to become more serious, Jesse starts to question his own immaturity and the age gap of 16 years between them. Films involving literary references are usually a win and a sequence of the protagonists’ correspondence underlaid with classical music is one of the most beautifully-arranged moments of recent film history. Yet a world free of the troubles of the mundane everyday life as it is portrayed in Liberal Arts makes the plot seem weirdly distant and unrealistic, despite relatable characters. But then again, Zac Efron plays a hilarious supporting role wearing a bobble hat. And who’d want to miss that?
From the directing duo behind Little Miss Sunshine, Ruby Sparks follows the story of Calvin Weir-Fields (Paul Dano), a struggling novelist who writes about his dream girl Ruby Sparks. When he discovers his imaginary creation has come to life, Calvin enjoys the soaring highs of his fledging romance whilst coming to terms with the harsh realities of a modern-day relationship. Taking an original spin on the rom-com, the film is a refreshing change from the predictable cheesefests churned out by Hollywood. Written by Zoe Kazan, who also plays the film’s titular character, it succeeds with the right blend of drama, comedy and romance. There’s also a bit of fantasy thrown in to satisfy an audience that enjoys a film with a difference. Compared to (500)Days of Summer for its quirky style and visuals, Ruby Sparks operates on a much deeper level. The strongly character-driven plot examines the protagonist battling his inner demons with a true sense of tragedy. It tugs at the heartstrings as much of the film’s strength comes from the fantastically raw performances of Dano and Kazan. However, Antonio Banderas, Annette Benning and Steve Coogan’s more recognised talents are disappointingly underused. The film also struggles with pacing at times, with some scenes having a tendency to drag, but the conclusion is satisfying when the story comes full circle.
Miguel Gomes’s Portuguese tale of life and love is broken into two parts. the first is set in modern day Lisbon (A Lost Paradise) and the second a flashback to 1970’s Mozambique (Paradise). Unfortunately, due to its limited release, it is a film that would be quite easy to overlook. To overlook this film however, would be a terrible mistake for it highlights cinematography at its finest and most elegant. The story’s first part focuses on the heart-breaking character of Aurora, an eccentric elderly gambling addict (played flawlessly and with wit by Laura Soveral). It maps her last days as she is desolately taken over by dementia. Whilst the second part transports us to Aurora’s time, living in 1970s Mozambique: growing, marrying and ultimately falling in love. Nothing of the story is lost through the lack of dialogue in the second part; in fact the narration by Aurora’s lost love, the elderly Ventura (Henrique Espírito Santo), works to add yet more of a magical fairy-tale like quality to this already mythical tale. Just as Gomes’ decision to have the entirety of the film shot in black and white only heightens our connection with, and understanding of, the incredible waste of true and lasting love. Throughout the film, moments of sweet and mischievous comedy lie in antithesis with dark, deeply sad elements that highlight the most abominable of human capabilities and failures.
VERDICT: The feel-good movie for all arts students who have ever doubted their degree: Literature, music and long philosophical debates are important - they make life beautiful and (sometimes) more bearable. Screw anyone who thinks differently.
VERDICT: It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but there is a real heart to Ruby Sparks and is recommended for movie-goers looking for something a bit more inspiring than the average popcorn flick.
VERDICT: Simple, romantic, poetic and beautiful: I implore those with half a heart or even a single sentimental bone in their body to see this stunning film, you will not regret it!
Lisa Bernhardt
Helen Jamison
Laura Hemy
Jennifer Leighton
40.sportfeatures
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Sporting mismatches: It’s not always This week, The Courier looks at some of the most NATASHA ZVEREVA vs STEFFI GRAF memorable examples of one-sided sporting affairs Most fans will tell you that sport is a pleasure best enjoyed when the contest is closely fought, however this is not always the case. Earlier this month England played San Marino in a World Cup qualification game; it was a matchup that, on paper, appeared to be over before it had begun; England have recently reached the heady heights of third in the FIFA rankings whereas their opponents are joint bottom in 207th.
Despite England being kept at bay for the first 34 minutes, the result was never really in doubt and the 5-0 final scoreline reflected the gulf in class. It seems counter-intuitive that a sporting event can take place without the element of realistic competition, but this game was a clear example of that. The sport of boxing witnessed a similar non-contest recently when David Price knocked out Audley Harrison after one minute and 22 seconds.
Although it was an impressive performance from Price, it was an embarrassing end to Harrison’s career after he was booed from the ring after the fight; this demonstrated that fans do not usually relish such one-sided affairs. However, there are some sporting mismatches that do live long in the memory as this article demonstrates. Freddie Caldwell
BRITISH FENCING AT 2012 OLYMPICS When Natalia Sheppard won the European Qualifiers for the London Olympics, it meant Great Britain qualified with two fencers by right for the games. This, combined with the eight host nation places available, meant more fencers could be entered in the team competition, therefore increasing the chances of a medal for the hosts. In the round of 16, Britain dispatched Egypt, setting up a match against the Number One seeds, Italy. Having captured all the medals in the
individual event and with world rankings of 1, 2 and 4 compared to 35, 83 and 112 of the British Team, the hopes of an upset were slim as the teams headed to the piste. As the match progressed, the gulf in class showed with the Italians rapidly taking the lead. Some excellent tactical moments did lead to the gap closing in the early stages, but the eventual gold medal winners increased their effort and put the result beyond doubt early. In other sports, the match may have been stopped early under an outclass
rule, but instead the teams battled on – Great Britain trying to minimise scoring opportunities for their opponents, rather than create their own. Eventually, the match finished with the one-sided score of 44-14, showing that while the British Foilists had given great effort and determination to get to the top table of this sport, there is still much to be done before we are truly on a par with the great Fencing nations
Natasha Zvereva had beaten the likes of second seed Martina Navratilova and sixth seed Helena Sukova on the way to the 1988 French Open women’s singles final, and she looked to be playing like a champion. However, in the final, she was matched up against one of the finest women tennis players ever in Germany’s Steffi Graf, who was in the form of her life. The 17 year old crumbled on the court; Graf went on to take the match 6-0, 6-0 in a match that lasted only 34 minutes, and set a record for the shortest Grand Slam final ever. Disappointment was probably not just reserved for Zvereva, but for the thousands of paying spectators as well who turned up to watch this mismatch play out. The Belarusian even went on to say af-
ter the match: “I wanted to do well, but Graf was so awesome that after the first set I began to think about what I would have to eat for dinner later.” In her defence, Natasha Zvereva was predominately a fantastic doubles player with little singles experience, who later went on to be inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame, playing a person in the purple patch of their career. Steffi Graf went on that year to win all four grand slams and Olympic gold, commonly known now as “The Golden Slam,” and is still the only tennis player ever to do so. This went a long way to cementing her place as one of the world’s greatest ever female tennis players. Miles Reah
James Docherty
Natasha Zvereva- Hall of Fame for all the wrong reasons Photography: PfisziM
Laurence Halsted (left) fencing for Team GB Photography: Steve Fair
Back of the net Video of the week
Spot the ball A
Testing times 1)What number signifies a perfect passer rating for a QB? 2)What team did San Marino’s one and only win come against? 3)How many seconds did it take David Price to knock out Audley Harrison? 4)Which club has the most expensive season ticket in the top four divisions of English football? 5)Which club has the cheapest season ticket in the top four divisions of English football? 1.) 158.3; 2.)Liechenstein; 3.) 82 seconds; 4.) Arsenal; 5.) Bradford City
Golazo de Neymar vs Atlético Mineiro 17-10-2012 Santos 2-0 Atlético Mineiro
ht t p : / / w w w. y o u t u b e . c o m / w at c h ? v = Xp LpWSf_28&feature=youtu.be An outstanding goal by Neymar, yet if he made his much anticipated move to Europe would he be able to recreate this?
- Samuel Ameobi- @Sammy_Ameobi “Fun night, had a dance but now it’s bed time kids!’”
This week in sport
Monday 23rd October 2006 - All Intra Mural matches were cancelled by sports centre staff and Recreational Service Manager Denis Murphy due to a row over players avoiding registration fees. Saturday 21st October 2006- Newcastle Women’s Football 1sts lose 12-3 to Sunderland.
Wednesday 25th October 2000- Both of Newcastle’s volleyball teams got off to a winning start to their BUSA cam(14 Oct) Some sound, family friendly advice from our favour- paigns with the men’s team winning 3 sets to 1 over Durite Newcastle player. He clearly needs to hang out more with ham and the women’s side winning in straight sets. Mario Balotelli and Andy Carroll.
1 2 3 4 5 6
B
C
D
E
F
The Courier
featuressport.41
Monday 22 October 2012
David and Goliath
MIKE TYSON vs PETER MCNEELEY
USA BASKETBALL ‘DREAM TEAM’ AT BARCA 1992 OLYMPICS The 1992 incarnation of the United States’ ‘dream team’ is feted as perhaps the greatest accumulation of individual talents ever seen in any one sport. The US predominance over Olympic basketball is such that many see the rest of the world as competing for a silver medal. This assumption, regurgitated once again in Barcelona, was proved entirely justified. In truth, every opponent which had the misfortune to come into the sights of the American basketball juggernaut were swept aside with a contemptuous ease. However, never was the discrepancy in ability more conspicuous than during their first engagement of the tournament against Angola. The ‘dream team’ line-up featured the incomparable Michael Jordan and the sublime Magic Johnson as its headline acts. They were more than well supplemented by the likes of Charles Barkley, Larry Bird, Patrick Ewing and Karl Malone. The Angolan coach Victorino Cunha claimed in the preliminaries: “We know we are going to lose……. we are playing the best team since basketball was invented in 1891. Our goal is not to lose by more than 45 points.” Unfortunately, even this proved beyond the capabilities of his team, with the ten million strong nation in the midst of a bloody civil war. The aforementioned Jordan and Johnson spearheaded the systematic dismantling of the Angolans, weaving spellbinding patterns at lightning pace that the West Africans could not live with. The 116-48 score line seems slightly embarrassing, especially as through one passage of play during the first half the Americans scored 46 to a
In 1991, Mike Tyson was rebuilding his career after a shock defeat by Buster Douglas in which he lost his undisputed World Heavyweight Crown. Having had a tantalising fight with Evander Holyfield on the cards, Tyson was instead sentenced to six years in prison for rape. In 1995, after three years, Tyson was released and ready to start his climb back up the boxing ranks. The opponent, Peter McNeeley, came with good pedigree, ranked 7th by the WBA and with only one loss prior to the match. However, most matches were against journeyman opponents and had artificially inflated his record and rank. The fight started quickly with McNeeley trying to take the match to Tyson; leading to McNeeley ending up on the canvas within 12 seconds of the first round bell. The fight continued with McNeeley trying to aggressively take down Tyson until another thundering combination of punches led to him hitting the canvas for a second time, and his corner throwing in the towel within
90 seconds. The match was a financial success, earning over $96 million for television rights, but was derided by many as an overly easy opponent to guarantee Tyson a first win. These were claims his promoter Don King vehemently denied. Several of Tyson’s comeback opponents were outclassed by the power and speed of the New York born fighter, allowing him to quickly gain world title shots, thus further lining Don King’s pockets. Many would argue that King handpicked these opponents for financial gain rather than entertainment value. Indeed, when Tyson fought other greats on his comeback, such as Lennox Lewis and Evander Holyfield, the results were different – with Tyson on the receiving end of career-ending losses. However, in all cases the main winner was Tyson’s promoter. James Docherty
David Robinson takes a free throw for the ‘Dream Team’ Photography: Ken Hackman, US Air Force
solitary Angolan point. However, with the knowledge the ‘Dream Team’ then went on to beat Croatia by 33, Germany by 43, Brazil by 44, Spain by 41, Puerto Rico by 38, Lithuania by 51, and Croatia (a second time) by 32 for the gold, that initial
embarrassment was somewhat diluted. Not one team proved to be a challenging match with USA winning by an average 43.8 points per game throughout the Games. Ciaran McKenna
KENYAN CRICKET TEAM AT 2007 WORLD CUP A dull, one-sided affair in a Cricket World Cup group match would rarely catch the headlines. They happen all the time; the spirited, yet limited, associate nations are bowled over by the sheer quality of the major cricketing powers. However, Kenya’s performance in 2007 was so dire that it not only made headlines, but broke records. Despite being comprehensively beaten by Scotland in qualifying, the Kenyan team arrived in South Africa for the tournament with hopes of causing a shock, having amazingly reached the semi-finals of the 2003 50-over World Cup. Unfortunately, the fairytale run was not to be repeated. The African side began the tournament by being cleaned up for 73 by New Zealand, which was then a record low score in international
Twenty20 cricket. The opening 4 batsmen, including the experienced Steve Tikolo, all departed without troubling the scorers, as Mark Gillespie ripped through the Kenyan line up. The misery was compounded just 7.4 overs later, as New Zealand romped to a 9 wicket win. Surely, they would improve two days later against Sri Lanka. Batting first had not worked in Kenya’s favour, so, when Captain Tikolo won the toss, his decision to bowl appeared wise. As you may have guessed, it certainly did not pay off. Firstly, Sri Lanka amassed 260/6, a record score for all professional Twenty20 cricket, with Sanath Jayasuriya making 88 (44) and Mahela Jayawardene 65 (27) before Jehan Mubarak whacked 46 not out from 13 balls! Yet the Kenyans pain was not over yet. Kenya
were duly skittled for 88 with Alex Obanda making their highest score of the entire competition with 21 to hand the Sri Lankans the win by 172 runs, the largest ever margin of victory in all professional twenty20 cricket. Due to the historic popularity of the sport in nations such as India and Australia, associate nations will find it almost impossible to truly match the these titans of the game. The gulf in class between the test playing nations and the rest is often far too great, which is seen as one of the most negative aspects of the game. However, many underdogs have tried to eclipse the 2003 Kenyans yet few have failed as badly as their 2007 counterparts. Joseph Barton
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Mike Tyson Mismatch in the name of publicity Photography: BrianBirzer
42.sportfeatures
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Armstrong scandal dopes the cycling world with a dose of reality Can we trust our cyclists? Jack McKenzie and Peter Deeley approach the debate from two different angles The last few months have seen the unfolding of one of the largest scandals in sporting history with the allegations made against Lance Armstrong that his career was fuelled by illegal doping. This is a man whose achievements include winning the Tour de France seven consecutive times and appearing in the film DodgeBall, so the ramifications of such accusations are widely felt. The story has come to a head in the last month with the United States AntiDoping Agency (USADA) publishing a report which labels Armstrong a “serial” cheat; this is clearly a serious statement and the fact that this official body feels secure in making it shows the weight of evidence which has been gathered
against him. For many years Armstrong has been the archetypal sporting hero; not just for his exploits on the bike, but also for his fight against cancer which was so inspirational to so many. Although the work that he has done to fight cancer will always be remembered, his heroic image has now been comprehensively shattered. Cycling is a sport which has enjoyed a huge leap in popularity in the UK over the last few years thanks to the exploits of Mark Cavendish and Bradley Wiggins amongst others. However, this story will cause many people to question the integrity of others involved in the sport which has the
potential to harm those individuals and cycling as a whole. Sport tends to lend itself to fine margins, and in this case it seems that the margin is very fine between legitimate sport science and illegitimate doping. Cyclists have to make sure that they stay the right side of this line and do not allow their desire to win to overtake their morality. Most importantly they must earn back the trust of the fans, otherwise they will find that their livelihoods are likely to disappear faster than you can say Erythropoietin. Freddie Caldwell
JACK MacKENZIE
NO
The recent revelations over endemic drug use in professional tour cycling have placed question marks on the achievements of a generation of athletes, brought the sport in to disrepute and sent shockwaves through the wider sporting world. These stories show a culture where performance-enhancing drug use was widespread, tolerated and often encouraged. A US-led report has resulted in the American rider, Lance Armstrong, being stripped of his 7 Tour de France victories, leaving his reputation in tatters. It’s difficult to discuss the situation without briefly focusing on Armstrong: many things about him must be commended - his drive, charity work and incredible comeback from cancer in the late ‘90s. However, from the USADA investigation, it appears that Armstrong in fact helped develop the doping culture, encouraging teammates to take performance-enhancing substances. Although he is yet to confirm the allegations, even the staunchest of Armstrong fans must surely now question his professional character. Many in the cycling world, including Christian Prudhomme (the director of the Tour de France), want there to be no winners for the seven Tours won by Armstrong. 20 of the 21 riders who reached the podium during these Tours have since been implicated in some way by the US Anti-Doping Agency’s report. This goes some way towards highlighting the extent of the doping culture that existed. As more and more is revealed, it is increasingly difficult to rule out drug use in the current pro tour. Only this summer the Spaniard Alberto Contador was stripped of, amongst others, his 2010 Tour de France. As detection methods develop, so do the drugs (many of which are readily available) and methods of taking them. I believe Bradley Wiggins and the rest of the UK cycling contingent are clean, but they are now competing in a sport that has been left tainted by the recent
revelations. It is important that this spectre does not overshadow their successes. The recent findings have shocked the sporting world, showing how far some are willing to go in order to win. The case is on-going and it will be some time before it is wrapped up and cycling’s reputation is able to recover. Ironically, cycling can now be seen as an example to the wider sporting world, at least from an anti-doping point of view. They have pioneered and continue to develop many of the doping tests used across sport.
“I believe Bradley Wiggins and the rest of the UK cycling contingent are clean, but they are now competing in a sport that has been left tainted by the recent revelations” Despite such widespread accusations of doping, it must not go unnoticed that there are some who refused to partake and, until now, were a bunch of also-rans. By not taking performanceenhancing substances they were often given smaller contracts; for example the French rider Christophe Bassons turned down a 300,000Fr per month contract because he wanted to remain clean. He was instead given one worth 30,000Fr and bullied by fellow riders after questioning how many of those in the tour were clean. Before long he left the sport following a six-month period of depression. There are, and always will be the ‘good guys’ in sordid affairs such as this, but they will always be overshadowed by those who fall from grace.
The Courier
featuressport.43
Monday 22 October 2012
Let’s get fact up This week in Jack MacKenzie’s sports statistics blog, the FedExpress rumbles on, another 50 year old NFL record is broken, San Marino’s woes continue and Roman Grosjean has a quiet week, for
T
his week the FedExpress rumbles on, another 50 year old NFL record is broken, San Marino’s woes continue and Roman Grosjean has a quiet week, for once.
Lance Armstrong - a fallen hero Photography: de:Benutzer:Hase
PETER DEELEY
YES
The revelations of the extent to which Lance Armstrong and his US Postal Service team doped throughout his seven Tour de France wins is not only a damning indictment on the individual; it has condemned an entire era of cycling. Although Armstrong was the principal culprit, the extent to which doping was present in the sport as a whole meant that if you weren’t on drugs, you stood absolutely no chance of winning. However, this doesn’t mean the scandal shows that all cyclists remain cheats; in fact it highlights the opposite. The sport is clearly doing as much as possible to stamp out the use of banned substances, and the fact that the scandal has made heroes out of little-known cyclists such as Scott Mercier - men who were forced out of the sport because of their refusal to dope, shows that fair play is now highly valued in the sport and that its culture has changed. The degree to which Armstrong’s actions were concealed shows just how far the sport was rife with corruption. The fact that these allegations have been revealed to such a great extent highlights just how those involved in cycling are determined to clean up its image. By throwing its former favourite son under the bus, the authorities have shown they are prepared to go to any length to restore the sport’s reputation. Eleven former team mates testified against Armstrong, openly admitting their own complicity with the doping programme and besmirching their own reputations. The most prevalent of these is Tyler Hamilton who used his book, The Secret Race, to outline in huge detail the doping regime he and Armstrong undertook. His account outlines the woefully inadequate testing schemes that were designed to prevent doping. This has been completely overhauled in recent years, with much more stringent testing in and out of competition. Samples are re-tested as new technologies become available and this case proves that the authorities will catch up with dopers. The sheer number of riders who took banned substances may mean
that there is always a question mark over the sport, but the increased anti-doping measures installed by the authorities mean they are doing all they can to ensure that cheats are caught. Team GB rider, and former doper, David Millar argues that “cycling has pushed through the most advanced anti-doping testing and we were the first sport to introduce blood tests”. The culture of the peloton is arguably the key to the state of doping in the sport, during Armstrong’s heyday it was that doping was widespread and necessary in order to win. Now it seems to have shifted to one where being clean is the most important thing above all, whereas for cyclists during the previous era, it was about winning at any cost. The leading team in cycling are Great Britain’s Team Sky, who have always been at the forefront of the campaign to clean up cycling. Boss Dave Brailsford says that the culture has changed and that “everybody has recalibrated and several teams like ourselves are hellbent on doing it the right way and doing it clean”. Sir Chris Hoy has also stated that “Team Sky’s involvement in the Tour de France, from the first moment, has been about having a zero tolerance to this. To have icons like Bradley Wiggins winning the Tour clean, that has to be the inspiration for the next generation”. Despite the negative press and the inevitable smearing of cycling’s reputation that a scandal on this scale brings, this incident proves that despite its chequered past, the sport is trying to move on. In the midst of the scandal it is important to remember the huge response to Wiggins’ success in the Tour de France and the Olympics, as well as that of the rest of Team Sky, and that the sport does have positive examples to draw on. It is on role models such as these that the sport is hoping to build a new, clean future. The huge effort that is now put into testing both past and present riders shows that the authorities are doing everything possible to have a clean sport and ensure that cheaters are caught. Mark Cavendish has suggested that “if you put the time, effort and money into catching the cheats then you will”. This scandal shows that cycling is doing exactly that, and is prepared to expose anyone, even the great Lance Armstrong.
At the Shanghai Masters, Roger Federer’s victory over fellow Swiss Stanilas Wawrinka was anything but the routine win it would suggest at first glance, as by beating his compatriot, Federer ensured he reached an astonishing 300 weeks as the best tennis player in the world, leaving him 12 weeks short of reaching 6 years in the position. Five years ago Federer looked virtually unbeatable and the record seemed destined to fall, but the emergence of Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic and Andy Murray challenged Federer’s dominance of the sport. Nadal ended Federer’s record spell of 237 consecutive weeks as no. 1 after he beat the Swiss Maestro to the 2008 Wimbledon title in one of the best matches of all time, the Spaniard triumphing 9-7 in an epic deciding set. Two years later, Federer’s surprising loss to Tomas Berdych in the Wimbledon 2010 quarter-final saw him fall to no. 3 and it looked as if ‘FedEx’ may fall just one week short of Pete Sampras’ record of 286 weeks at the top of the rankings. However, the maestro returned to form and in winning this year’s Wimbledon, Federer surpassed the American’s record and his consistency since then has
seen him reach a triple century. For the second week running the NFL saw a 52-year old record beaten, as the New England Patriots became the first team in 52 years to lose three of their opening six games by 2 points or fewer. Their latest agonising defeat came at the hands of the emerging Seattle Seahawks, whose young defence managed to stifle four-time Superbowl winning quarterback Tom Brady. However, the most significant stat of the game proved to come from Seattle’s offence and Brady’s opposite number, Russell Wilson. His game winning touchdown bomb to Sidney Rice meant the rookie finished the game with a 91.4 ‘passer rating’, the highest for a Seahawks QB since 2008. The ‘passer rating’ stat is a complicated formula that uses completions, touchdowns, interceptions and yards per attempt to quantify a quarterback’s performance, with a ‘perfect’ rating being a nice round 158.3! In an enthralling Formula One season that saw the first 7 races won by 7 different drivers, one of the key storylines of the year has revolved around Lotus driver Romain Grosjean. Going into the Korean Grand Prix, the Frenchman had crashed into an opponent on seven out of 15 opening laps, as well as a further 2nd lap crash, prompting Mark Webber to call him a ‘first-lap nutcase’. The Lotus man was even given a onerace ban after a crash at Spa. On Sunday Grosjean managed to stay out of trouble and even maintained 7th place
off the grid, defying his season average of losing 2.58 places on the first lap, the worst record on the grid. His mantle as ‘first-lap nutcase’ was taken up by Komui Kobayashi, who drove into both Jenson Button and Nico Rosberg. Last Friday night saw England defeat minnows San Marino 5-0 at Wembley. The defeat meant that San Marino have now conceded 133 goals in 23 away matches since they last scored on their travels - against Liechtenstein in August 2003 – at an average of 5.78 goals a game. Whether UEFA will introduce a pre-qualifying tournament for the lowest ranked teams (San Marino are 207th and equal last) is anybody’s guess. Useless stat of the week comes from @ESPNStatsInfo, tweeting “Netherlands with 2 goals in first 15 minutes vs Andorra, matching goal total from all 3 games of EURO 2012”. Quite what comparing a game against a country ranked 201st and games at one of football’s most prestigious tournaments achieves is unclear. *Passer Rating Formula: A= ((Comp % × 100) – 30) ÷ 20 B= (TD % × 100) ÷ 5 C= 9.5 (Int % × 100) ÷ 4 D= (YPA – 3) ÷ 4 These values have to be between 0 and 2.375. QB Rating = (A + B + C+ D) ÷ 0.06
To read this blog every week, check it out on http://thecourieronline.co.uk/sport/
What a sign for sore eyes The restoration of the St James’ Park name to replace that of Sports Direct Arena is the one shining light of Newcastle United’s new controversial sponsorship deal with Wonga. The re-establishment of the historic name has surely managed to temper some of the major reservations about going into business with the morallyquestionable loan company.
It has not even been a year since the name changed to Sports Direct Arena, but the gesture to reverse this wholly unwelcome move will have made some progress in appeasing a fragment of the disgruntled fans with concern to the new deal. In a recent survey carried out by Newcastle United’s Supporter’s Trust, only 4% of fans surveyed are ‘very happy’
with the Wonga deal, whereas 21% responded they were ‘very unhappy’. Mike Ashley and company will be hoping the return of the traditional namesake will sugarcoat the agreement and keep things sweet for now. Lucy Williams
St James’ Park sign rightfully returned Photography: Sally Priddle
The Courier
intramuralsport.45
Monday 22 October 2012
Hall-ellujah! Lifeless Medics beaten by in-form Hendo Intra Mural Mens Football Henderson Hall
3
Medics 1st team
1
interval. However, late goals from forward Liam McAllister and substitute Aled Hopkins would eventually seal all three points for the Hall on the Longbenton 3G. The result has sent shockwaves through the Intra Mural football world. Notoriously the league’s perennial underachievers, Henderson Hall FC’s strong start to the a season has made a number of clubs sit up and take notice of the ‘Oranje’ outfit. It would certainly appear as if they have a succeeded in assembling a squad that has a real chance of challenging for domestic honours over the coming year. The match commenced with Hendo starting by far the brighter. The first chance of the game fell to Fresher Robbie Sweet, who was unlucky to see his dipping long-range effort come back off the bar.
By Nick Gabriel Sports Editor Last Wednesday, Henderson Hall FC continued their winning start to the season with an impressive 3-1 victory over the Newcastle Medics 1st team. Winger James McChrystal gave Henderson the lead on the stroke of half time, before Medics’ midfielder Dave Edwards levelled things just after the
They came close again moments later, once more via the right-foot of the impressive Sweet. On this occasion, the playmaker drilled his effort against the post with the Medics’ goalkeeper, Dale Anderson, beaten all ends up. The half was almost 25 minutes old when the Medics eventually managed to fashion an opening. Following a neat passing move down the left, the ball fell at the feet of Josh Davison inside the area who instantly struck the ball goalwards, only to be denied by a smart save from reserve Henderson Hall goalkeeper, Chris Pudner, low and to his right. Henderson Hall were eventually rewarded for their first half dominance, when they were gifted the lead on the stroke of the interval by Medic Robbie Crooks. The centre-half committed the cardinal footballing sin of passing the ball
blindly across his own goal. The retreating McChrystal seemingly couldn’t quite believe his luck as the ball rolled invitingly into his path. He proceeded to advance towards goal before holding his nerve to slide the ball past the onrushing Anderson into the corner of the net. The second half began in similar vein to the first, with Henderson Hall dominating possession and seemingly in total control. However, within 10 minutes of the restart, the Medics inexplicably found themselves level. The tireless Davison originally saw his flicked header cannon off the bar from an inswinging corner from the right. However fortunately for the future doctors, midfielder Dave Edwards was on hand to scramble home the rebound from no more than a yard out to cancel out McChrystal’s opener.
From then on, one could be forgiven for expecting the, prior to kick-off, heavily fancied Medics to up the tempo and begin to take the game to Henderson Hall FC. But to Hendo’s credit, they did not let the goal get to them in the slightest, and continued to play their patient, passing game, aided by the overnight rain which had produced a crisp and zippy surface on the 3G. Indeed, only a superb last-ditch challenge from Medics right-back and captain Ben Emmerson denied McAllister the opportunity a chance of regaining the lead for the Hall following the equaliser, after he had been played through by combative midfielder Armani Zafar. However, the industrious centre forward didn’t have to wait much longer for his opening. A neat bit of link-up play down the left resulted in a dangerous ball being whipped into the box. On this occasion, McAllister was on hand to pounce on a spot of defensive uncertainty to nip in and smash the ball into the roof of the net. With so little time left, the Medics had no option but to throw bodies forward in search of an elusive equaliser. However, they were to be caught out late on as, following a corner, Henderson counter attacked with ruthless precision. The ever-present Sweet was able to feed a through ball into the path of substitute Aled Hopkins, who did well to roll the ball neatly home, thus ending any chance of a Medics revival.
Pudmer
Jones
Kaznowski
Taylor
Mulhall
Sweet
Zafar
Welch
Riddell
McChrystal
McAllister
Menacing: Henderson Hall’s Armani Zafar looks to build another attack Photography: Ralph Blackburn
Campbell Davison Watson
Anderson Parkinson
Edwards
Durken Crooks
Fretwell
Emmerson
Anderson
League Tables
Wednesday 11-a-side Football
Division 1 1
Division 31
Division 2
Team
Pld
W
D
L
F
A
Pts
Henderson Hall F.C.
2
2
0
0
7
2
6
1
Team
Pld
W
D
L
F
A
Pts
Lokomotiv
2
1
0
1
8
5
3
1
Division 41
Team
Pld
W
D
L
F
A
Pts
Newhist FC
1
1
0
0
4
0
3
Team Team 1 1 Thundercats Barca Law Na
Pld Pld WW
DD
LL
FF
1 12
01
02
9 50 0 15 328
19
AA
Pts Pts
2
Newcastle Medics 2nds
1
1
0
0
10
0
3
2
Ecosoccer
1
1
0
0
4
2
3
2
Politic Thistle FC
1
1
0
0
3
2
3
2 2 Sub-Standard Newcastle Medics Liege 1sts
1 12
18
02
02
5 36 0 20 326
3
Newcastle Medics 1st
2
1
0
1
9
4
3
3
The Hurricanes
1
1
0
0
2
1
3
3
Jesmondino FC
1
0
1
0
2
2
1
3 3 The Henderson Establishment Hall
1 12
17
01
04
4 41 1 29 322 0 32 0 26 019
4
Barca-Law-Na
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
4
Roman Villa FC
2
1
0
1
7
8
3
4
Newcastle Dynamos
1
0
1
0
2
2
1
4 4 FCDyslexic Bayern Untied Toonich
0 12
06
01
05
5
Dyslexic Untied
1
0
0
1
1
4
0
5
Aftermath FC
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
5
Brown Magic FC
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
1 12 1 12
05 03
00 00
17 19
1 12
01
01
6
Crayola
1
0
0
1
1
8
0
6
Castle Leazes
1
0
0
1
1
2
0
6
Multiple Scoregasms
1
0
0
1
2
3
0
Crayola FC 5 5 Geomatics Aftermath 6 (R) Trigger Happy
7
Borussia Forsyth
1
0
0
1
1
10
0
7
Boca Seniors
1
0
0
1
2
6
0
7
Bio Neverlosen
1
0
0
1
0
4
4
CastlePhallus Leazes 7 (R) Crystal
Top Goalscorers 2: Armani Zafar, Liam McAlliser (both Henderson)
1: Dave Edwards (Medic 1’s), James McChrystal, Aled Hopkins (both Henderson Hall)
Top Goalscorers 2: Adam Duckworth (Hurricanes) 1: Ben Hunter, Adam Bisby
Top Goalscorers
(both Roman Villa), Will Finelli, Tom Bond, Zack Goddard, Joey 2: Hugh Grosvenor Jesmond (all Ecosoccer), (Scoregasms), Aaron Green (Castle Leazes)
1 18 4 22 015 0 14 5 47 0 9 1 10 0 12 9 42 0 4
Top Goalscorers Ollie Thornton (Politic Thistle) 1: Ben Hughes (Politic Thistle)
3: Jake Wimhurst (SubStandard Liege)
2: Sam Goldsworthy (SubStandard Liege)
Intra Mural Round-Up Results Henderson Hall 3-1 Newcastle Medics 1st
Results Lokomotiv 6-1 Roman Villa
Results -
Results -
Fixtures (to be played 24/10/12) Dyslexic Untied vs. Borussia Forsyth Barca-Law-Na vs. Henderson Hall FC Newcastle Medics 1st vs. Newcastle Medics 2nds
Fixtures (to be played 24/10/12) Ecosoccer vs. Castle Leazes Aftermath FC vs. Lokomotiv The Hurricanes vs. Roman Villa FC
Fixtures (to be played 24/10/12) Politic Thistle FC vs. Jesmondino FC Multiple Scoregasms vs. Newhist FC Brown Magic FC vs. Newcastle Dynamos
Fixtures (to be played 24/10/12) The Establishment vs. Sub-Standard Liege FC Bayern Toonich vs. Trigger Happy Crystal Phallus vs. Geomatics FC
46.sportbucs
Monday 22 October 2012
The Courier
Rampant Royals hit Liverpool for four Hockey Mens
Newcastle 1sts Liverpool JM 1sts
The Royals in red start up another attack Photography: Ralph Blackburn
By Harry Kempe and Charlie Russell-Jones
Rugby League Mens
Leeds Met 1sts Newcastle 1sts
4 1
4 19
By Chris Griffiths in Leeds On a wet and rainy day in Newcastle, NURL boarded Keith’s coach to play Leeds Met, along with a well-spoken and polite Mens Rugby Union 4th team. Just half an hour into the journey the teams quite literally saw a ray of sunshine over the rolling hills of the Yorkshire dales. The dry weather, suiting NURL’s expansive and flamboyant way of playing, added further confidence into the 17 man strong squad who were resolute on getting the Leeds Met away loss hoodoo off their back. After a short detour in which the driver ended up at a local dairy farm NURL arrived at the destination, only
to be told they would be playing on a 3G surface. Awkward half back Dave Knox, stuck in his old fashioned ways was reluctant to play on such a surface and faked a ‘neck’ injury just five minutes into the game. Little impact from Dave this week, maybe next week though. Fellow Irishman Andrew Beanz began at prop alongside Spanish exchange student El Dan Capaross, both putting in flawless displays against a good technical Leeds Met pack. Behind them was Andreas the Greek and Harry Rigby, both putting in 80 minutes for the Owls. Andreas got the accolades he deserved by picking up man of the match as selected by his team mates. The deadlock was broken after a clever worked move allowing NURL’s second most handsome George to go over in the corner. Griffiths added the extras. Dan Shortman then crashed over from short range to put the Owls 10 in front at half time. In the second half Leeds Met managed to fluke a try from a short range last
tackle kick, as ever Andreas was near the action and very close to putting the ball dead to save a no-where to be seen George Matthew, but his legs proved too stumpy and a Leeds met hand got their first. With ill-discipline from Leeds Met, Griffiths took full advantage on a couple of occasions adding the extras to chip away at time and the scoreboard much to the disgruntled Micky Ward. A drop goal was also added to put further salt into the wounds. Finally there was time for Myles ‘im so handsome’ Hudson to weave his way over the whitewash and a capacity Leeds Met crowd began to walk early. 2 wins from 2 for the AU’s most beloved putting them firmly at the top of the table, a position this team are all too familiar with.
The Owls currently sit top of the table, having only lost once in their last seven games.
Newcastle Captain the ‘Honeyman’ in action. Photography: Ralph Blackburn
Not all of this week’s Varsity games were postponed. Newcastle Mens Squash 1sts stung Northumbria with a sweet-tasting victory 4-1 over the local rivals at the Newcastle Squash Courts.
Last Wednesday, the Mens Hockey 1st team were looking to get off to a good start in the BUCS league following on from the success of last season. A positive start was vital and a game at home to Liverpool John Moores seemingly would provide a good opportunity to pick up a comfortable three points, and send out a message to the rest of the league. The Royals were focused and ready on game day and after an intense warm up, the team came out of the blocks fast, most notably with the energetic Rob ‘Ramborgini’ Ramsden revving his engine at the prospect of getting stuck into the opposition. The first 15 minutes saw some brilliant hockey being played by the Blues, demonstrating intelligent movement and quick passing that caused huge problems for the away defence. The opening goal was inevitable, and it came as following a superb ball from veteran John Colville up to forward Ben Underwood. The baby faced assassin proceeded to skip past two defenders, showing nifty footwork in doing so, before keeping his head to calmly slot the ball past the opposing keeper. The Blues, who were inspired by Joe Cooper’s return to the side following a spell on the sidelines, continued to dominate up until half-time and were unfortunate not to be leading by more.
Fresh from a feisty team talk from captain Ben Gowing, the Blues continued to play with a high intensity, carving out numerous chances before Underwood Jnr., once more, was on hand to double the Royals’ advantage with a measured finish. However, the visitors were handed a lifeline as, following a momentary lapse in defensive concentration, the opposition were able to reduce the deficit with a soft goal from a short corner. The rejuvenated opposition followed the goal up with a period of sustained pressure, in search of an elusive equaliser. Fortunately however, they found themselves up against an inspired Charlie Russell-Jones. The goalkeeper put his body on the line on more than one occasion, and stirred new life into the hearts of the team. As a result, the Royals were able to regain momentum. Harry Kempe left three defenders in his wake in a sweeping run, which resulted in the winning of a crucial short corner. The stage was set for Max Underwood to take centre stage. The Ipswich native made no mistake from the well-executed set piece, slamming the ball past the flailing goalkeeper to put the home side back in the driving seat. The third goal had a crushing effect on the opposition, and Newcastle were able to take full advantage of the dropping heads soon after. This time it was Gowing’s turn to get in on the act, pouncing on a loose ball in the D before cooly slotting the ball into the corner of the net. A strong start to the season, the result will provide the Royals with some much-needed momentum, heading into the grudge match against Durham next week.
Netball Roundup The 1sts lost 67-24 away against Leeds Metropolitan. Against the champions of the Premiership last year, Newcastle faced a real baptism of fire in their first game of the season. In the first quarter Leeds Met started strongly, but were well matched and Newcastle were in the game for a while. Unfortunately the physicality of their opponents allowed Leeds Met to take control of the game and they started to dominate as the match progressed. Clare Roche had a strong game in WD getting in some crucial interceptions. The third quarter saw Leeds attack hard again and it took a lot for GK Helen Jones to keep the 6”3 GS from getting her shots in. Newcastle’s attack was working well with the shooting of Hannah Swainson keeping them in the game, however the stubbornness of the Leeds defence was too great which resulted in a tough, and ultimately fruitless day in Yorkshire for the 1sts. The 2nds won 39-26 away at the University of Hull. The 2nds managed to open their account for the season with a convincing performance against Hull. They started strongly and took control from the start putting Hull immediately on the back foot. With confident holding from Louisa Sorensen and accurate feeds from Tesni Fellows the goals began to mount up. Even though Hull had a very competent attack, the obstinacy and tenacity of player of the match Lauren Barnett and GK Katie Marron kept them out of the circle, which allowed Newcastle to maintain a lead throughout the game. Hull then began to change their combinations but Newcastle were able to adapt, hold them off, and secure a welcome victory.
The 3rds won 44-42 against Sheffield Hallam, at home in Newcastle. The 3rds were involved in an extremely tight game against Sheffield Hallam. Even though Newcastle took the lead, Sheffield kept up the pace and managed to pull level by the end of the first quarter. The second quarter saw much of the same but solid defence from Freya Cromarty kept their GS and GA on their toes. Up the other end of the court the goals were steadily building up, with great feeding in to the circle from player of the match Lauren Parker. The game stayed tight throughout and even though Newcastle were leading by up to 6 goals at times, Sheffield were still able to stay in the game. Complacency started to sneak into Newcastle’s play by the 4th quarter which meant Sheffield narrowed it to only a 2-goal difference but eventually Newcastle were able to secure a deserved victory to get their season underway. The 4ths won 46-27 away at Teeside University. The 4ths started tentatively in their opening game of the season against Teeside University, but were able to pull out a narrow lead in the first quarter. During the second quarter Newcastle began to pull away with solid center court play from player of the match Joanna Pilkington who was aided by Grace Brumhill, feeding into the circle beautifully. Newcastle continued to dominate throughout the second half and Teeside didn’t have an answer for their superiority. Teeside struggled to get the goals in; as rebound after rebound was collected and their centre passes were turned over and worked up the court smoothly. This all led to a thoroughly convincing victory for their first BUCS match of the season. Sophie Haslam
The Courier
bucssport.47
Monday 22 October 2012
Ragged Royals outclassed by clinical Chester Football Mens
Newcastle 1sts Chester 1sts
1 4
Donaldson chipping the ‘keeper for Chester’s 4th goal Photography: Ralph Blackburn
By Joey Barton at Longbenton Who needs a roof in Poland when you’ve got a 3G pitch in Longbenton? After the farce and outrage of Tuesday night following events in Poland and Serbia respectively it was refreshing to see that despite heavy overnight rain in the North East, Newcastle were able to get their BUCS football season underway on Wednesday. However it was not the start that the team will have been looking for, as they fell to a 4-1 defeat at home to the University of Chester. Newcastle entered the contest as favourites having finished second in the division last year, while their opponents Chester were relatively inexperienced having only gained promotion in March. However the home team were second best throughout the contest and will need to improve considerably if they are to match or improve on last year’s impressive finish. By contrast Chester showed why they stormed to the Division 2A title in 2011/2012, finishing an enormous ten points clear of their nearest rivals. Kicking off in bright sunshine, the game was less than two minutes old when a long punt from the Chester goalkeeper Nick Ashley evaded the entire Newcastle defence giving the opposition skipper Lee Constantine the chance to poke home under the onrushing goalkeeper, Connor Grant. This set the tone as the Northwest outfit ruthlessly punished any mistakes made by the home side. Constantine was a thorn in the Royals throughout. The number ten showed why he’d been given the esteemed shirt, consistently finding pockets of space in front of the Newcastle back four. The celebrations of the Chester players indicated that despite their curtailed warm up due to their late arrival, they were fired up for the game and fancied their chances of competing at this new higher level. Early on, the defending from both sides proved to be as indecisive as the weather. As the sun gave way to a further heavy shower, Chester’s Danny Higgins gifted Tom Stapleton the chance to level, only for the striker to blaze over when through on goal. This sparked a good spell for the home side in which Henry Scutt and Kurran Duggha linked up particularly well down the right to fashion some half chances; while first year Ben Wheeler made some bright runs down the left. The defining moment of the game arrived midway through the first half when a good initial save by Grant was followed by a goalmouth scramble which culminated in Constantine bagging his second goal of the afternoon after his effort took a fortunate deflection. Newcastle then had Grant to thank for keeping them in the game when he pulled off a great double save to deny the ever-lively Kieran Smith and Glen Donaldson in quick succession. Newcastle really needed a goal before half time and their big chance came after some strong hold up play by Stapleton, Kevin Davies like in nature, created a great opportunity for Wheeler, only for the left winger to lack composure and fire well over the bar. As the second half began Newcastle struggled to live with the Lampard-
esque runs of man of the match Constantine, who linked up superbly from start to finish with Chester’s lone frontman Glen Donaldson. Having seen Chester have an extremely strong penalty appeal waved away, Newcastle did improve around the hour mark and it was only well organised Chester defending that thwarted a prolonged period of pressure from the home team. In addition, Chester constantly harassed and hurried the Newcastle midfielders giving them no time on the ball and rushing them into mistakes. The home team looked most dangerous when playing on the break and after a good team move down the right hand side Wheeler was unlucky to blaze over when stretching to reach a low cross from Stapleton. Chester were finally out of sight with seven minutes remaining when the tireless Donaldson latched on to an innocuous looking header over the top of the Newcastle defence to clinically finish on the half volley giving Grant no chance between the sticks. This third goal actually came against the run of play and Newcastle got the consolation goal they deserved just three minutes later when a good cross from Jake Salisbury was met by a superb thumping header from Stapleton into the top corner of the goal. The Newcastle back four roared their forwards on from the kick off. However Chester’s ruthless streak continued, and they once again put the match to bed, and silenced the home fans. The game had by this stage developed into a frantic end-to-end encounter with chances aplenty and it was therefore no surprise when Rhys Millington had enough time and space to thread an excellent through ball into Donaldson’s path before the striker chipped cutely
over Grant, to give himself a brace, and to secure Chester an emphatic away win. Newcastle will hope that the defeat simply came as a result of some earlyseason rustiness, as despite Chester’s excellent display, sterner tests may well lie ahead. Leeds Metropolitan are second behing Chester in the table, and were good value for their win against Newcastle’s next opponents Liverpoool. The Men’s first XI travel to Merseyside this Wednesday, a fixture that should bring back fond memories, after Newcastle did the double over their Scouse counterparts last year. Man of the Match: Lee Constantine
Grant
Duggha
Auld (C)
Sexton Scutt
Norman Southgate
Randalls
Spencer Wheeler
Stapleton
Shaw
Millington
Nolan
Ashley
Lamburn
Smith Higgins
Suddaby
Fencing Mens
Newcastle 2nds Bradford 1sts
135 95
By Alex Walchester Newcastle slaughtered a beleaguered Bradford away from home to kick off their season. The visitors had a slow start, first losing the toss for weapon order and then falling behind in the first few bouts. Ollie ‘Dandy’ Doe took to the piste for his first match for the University, and wielding his foil with the artful grace of Monet, he stole the lead. Stand in skipper, Alex ‘Badger’ Walchester solidified
Kevan
the advantage before Newcastle again stumbled. ‘Dandy’ got the blades back on track, and Badger and Nick ‘Super Mario’ Favero wrapped up the last bouts to win foil 45-36. Newcastle then powered through Epee. Despite an initial setback, Super Mario, Badger and Anton ‘Cut-throat’ Chan crushed the opposition 45-25, giving the blades a convincing lead into the final weapon; sabre. A squad consisting of novice sabreurs ; Dandy and Cut-throat with veteran Paul McGenity, sliced through a substantial adversary. The Blades, showing all the mercy of Darth Vader with a Sinner’s hangover in the final bouts, snuffed out any hope Bradford had of taking the weapon, winning 45-34. A bold victory for Newcastle seconds to set the stage for an intriguing season.
Poly foil valiant Blades Fencing Womens
Donaldson
Constantine (C)
Brutal Blades batter bloody Bradford
Newcastle 2nds Northumbria 2nds
102 135
Starting with foil, the Womens 2nds put up a valiant effort scoring 39 - 45 points. Next up was epee, and with a team of strong epeeists the Blades managed to accumulate a total of 44 - 45 points. The last weapon was sabre and despite
our lack of sabre experience, the ladies managed to steal 19 out of a possible 45 points. Considering the team was made up of 2 epeeists, 1 foilist and a sabrer with a player down, the match was a considerable learning curve and good experience for future matches. Sam Lecky was the man of the match, due to her excellent performance in the foil. Fiona Cooke
Sport
www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 22 October 2012 Issue 1255 Free
thecourieronline.co.uk/sport
Sports Editors: Ralph Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors: Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport
It’s a wash-out!
Late-afternoon sunshine is too little too late to stop League, Union, Golf, Football, and Lacrosse games being called off
Photograph: Ralph Blackburn
Polished Posh play Poly off the park SUPERMAC! Ladies Hockey
Newcastle 1sts Northumbria 1sts
2 0
By Camilla Powers at Longbenton It was a late start for the Royals’ opening BUCS game of the season. With nerves running high, Newcastle prepared for another ferocious meeting with our close rivals from across the city, Northumbria. Having played the Poly two weeks previously, winning comfortably 4-2, the pressure was on to make sure we retained the bragging rights. Newcastle started well with high intensity and the team began to settle quickly. With six Freshers in the team this season, the Royals were still adapting to playing together, after only a few games. Despite this, in the opening ten minutes, Newcastle passed the ball about like they had been playing together for
years. The Royals were on top, with attacks coming thick and fast and had plenty of opportunities, with Fresher Rachel Fackey winning a number of short corners. The Newcastle defence looked solid and coped well with anything that the Poly threw at them. Fresher Jess Kidd, in particular, looking solid as the Poly began to pile on the pressure.
and was neatly put away to make it 1-0 to the Royals. After a small and subdued celebration, Newcastle were back behind the line, to push for a second goal. The momentum was definitely in the Royals favour, and they continued to press the Poly hard as their defence was unable to cope with the continuous Newcastle attack. It was easy to see Northumbria were tiring, and tensions were running high
“The Poly will have to be markedly improved if they are going to stand a chance come Stan Calvert” Newcastle still looked to be in control after fifteen minutes, when Rachel Fackey won another short corner. The ball went out to the top for a strike from veteran Erika Coakley. This drew a good save from the keeper, the ball flew up in the air and was anyone’s game. It came to Milly Powers on the post
in the rivals’ camp. Nevertheless Newcastle maintained their control, with consistent performer and Fresher Ailish Hendry putting in excellent defensive work in midfield. After a several close chances, the ball was passed wide quickly from Hattie Cunningham to the veteran Coakly
where the field completely opened up. She had time and space and delivered a brilliant ball into the Poly D, with Liz Shedden sneaking in a superb deflection to make in 2-0. As the half time whistle blew, Newcastle definitely had the upper hand, and spirits were high. In the second half the Royals continued to show their strength all over the field, with goalie Rachel Wilson making a number of vital saves and Liv O’Malley numerous important tackles. Newcastle had a number of chances but failed to put the game to bed. The girls were careful not to squander the lead so put in some strong defensive work. The Poly came close a number of times however could not break down the blue wall. It was a good performance from the Newcastle team, and celebrations were in order after a convincing win. Bragging rights across the Toon remain with the Posh, the Poly will have to be markedly improved if they are going to stand a chance come Stan Calvert.
McChrystal and McCallister fire Hendo top, with Medics needing sugery to keep in title hunt P45