The Courier 1202

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2K \HV &KXUFKLOO VSHDNV WR The Courier ahead of his GHEXW VWDJH DSSHDUDQFH LQ WKH 1HZFDVWOH SDQWRPLPH Culture, page 26

Issue 1202 Monday 7 December 2009 www.thecourieronline.co.uk

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University Chancellor slams ‘irresponsible’ club promoters

Walking the walk: Sir Liam Donaldson has urged the city’s bars and clubs to curb their drinks promotions as he takes the reigns at Newcastle University

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Intruder in the Robinson

The back of beyond

All things that glitter

Albums of the year

The boxing godfather

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Inside today >>>

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Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

The Union Society, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

Mrs Ali’s in allergy scandal

Comment Should we let Scotland go? Does Scotland have the right to independence? Page 11

Life & Style Importance of beauty sleep How insomnia can have a detrimental effect to your health Page 15

Culture About a boy Interview with acclaimed writer Nick Hornby Page 23

Sport Royals feeling blue Men’s hockey lodge complaint after controversial draw at Liverpool Page 39

NEDNED

Fill each row, column and 2x3 box with the numbers 1-6

Editorial Team: ‡ (GLWRU 'DYLG &RYHUGDOH ‡ 'HSXW\ (GLWRU )UDQ ,QIDQWH ‡ 1HZV (GLWRUV -HVVLFD 7XOO\ DQG 6LPRQ Murphy ‡ &RPPHQW (GLWRUV &DUROLQH $UJ\URSXOR 3DOPHU DQG 1LFKRODV )LGOHU ‡ /LIH 6W\OH (GLWRUV /DULVD %URZQ $OH[ )HOWRQ DQG $VKOH\ )U\HU ‡ &XOWXUH (GLWRU $OLFH 9LQFHQW ‡ $UWV (GLWRU 6WHSKDQLH )HUUDR ‡ )LOP (GLWRU )UDQFHV .URRQ ‡ 0XVLF (GLWRUV 0DUN &RUFRUDQ /HWWLFH DQG &KULV 0DQGOH ‡ 79 5DGLR (GLWRU $LPHH 3KLOLSVRQ ‡ 3X]]OHV (GLWRUV 6X]L 0RRUH DQG 1HG Walker ‡ 6SRUWV (GLWRUV 3DXO &KULVWLDQ -DPLH *DYLQ DQG 7RP -DPHV ‡ 'HVLJQ (GLWRU 9LFWRULD %HOO ‡ &XOWXUH 2QOLQH (GLWRUV *RUGRQ %UXFH DQG -HVVLFD 0RQVRQ ‡ 3URRI (GLWRUV 5XWK $OVDQFDN &ODLUH &KLOGV .DWK +DUPHU /XF\ +RXOGHQ $QQD .HQROW\ &KDUORWWH /RIWXV (PPD 3HDVJRRG DQG &ODLUH 5XVVHOO

The Courier is printed by: Harmsworth Printing Limited, Northcliffe House, Meadow Road, Derby, DE1 2DW. Tel: 01332 253013. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent Student Newspaper of the Union Society at the University of Newcastle-UponTyne. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge. The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Union Society or the University of Newcastleupon-Tyne.

> News, page 6 News Editors: Simon Murphy and Jessica Tully - courier.news@ncl.ac.uk

*UDGXDWH HVFDSHV KRUULÀ F DVVDXOW )RUPHU 1HZFDVWOH VWXGHQW WKUHDWHQHG ZLWK UDSH DIWHU QLJKW RXW ZLWK IULHQGV Fran Infante Deputy Editor A Newcastle graduate narrowly escaped a horrifying end to a night out last Saturday night after being followed home and threatened with rape. After leaving a city centre nightclub in the early hours, the former Newcastle student was stalked by a man believed to be in his 40s, posing DV D SROLFH RIÀ FHU ZKR WKUHDWHQHG WR sexually assault her as she walked home. \HDU ROG .DWH 0F&DQQ OHIW 'LJ ital nightclub in Times Square and was walking alone up Percy Street in order to meet her friends and boyfriend outside the Newcastle Students’ Union. $V VKH SDVVHG 7KH *RRVH VKH ZDV stopped by a man who stepped out of the doorway, obstructing her path. Standing directly in front of her, he WROG KHU KH ZDV D SROLFH RIÀ FHU DQG demanded to know her name and where she came from. -XGJLQJ E\ KLV LQWLPLGDWLQJ VWDQFH 0F&DQQ ZKR JUDGXDWHG LQ -XQH with a BA in Politics, did not at this stage believe that he was a genuine RIÀ FHU 6KH WROG KLP WKDW VKH GLG QRW wish to speak to him and continued on her way. The man, however, was not to be easily evaded and followed her closely down the street, shouting at KHU WR VWRS EHFDXVH KH ZDV DQ RIÀ FHU and wanted to know where she was going. )HDUIXO IRU KHU VDIHW\ DQG DODUPHG by his increasing aggression, Mc-

&DQQ DWWHPSWHG WR Ă DJ GRZQ D passing police car but it passed her. ,Q GHVSHUDWLRQ VKH FDOOHG RQ DQ other man who has been walking on the other side of the street and who thankfully came to her rescue. The man, known only as ‘Aaron’, recognised the frightening behaviour of the other man and agreed to ZDON WKH SDQLFNHG 0F&DQQ IXUWKHU up the street to the Union in an attempt to shield her from the barrage of abuse to which she was now being subjected. Even with this added protection, the would-be assailant continued to scream obscenities at the pair, describing in grim detail the vile sexual acts he wanted to perform on WKH WHUULĂ€ HG \RXQJ ZRPDQ 8SRQ DUULYDO 0F&DQQ ZDV UHXQLW ed with her friends and thanked her rescuer, while in the background the would-be attacker continued his perverted verbal abuse before eventually leaving the group and moving on in the direction of town. 2QH RI WKH IULHQGV ZKR PHW 0F &DQQ ZDV IRUPHU 8QLRQ 3UHVLGHQW Will Richens. He told The Courier “As Kate arrived at the Union he was following her about 10 to 15 yards behind. She ZDV TXLWH XSVHW EXW , GLGQ¡W UHDOLVH at the time how threatening he had been towards her. “He was about 6ft tall and was wearing a baseball cap; he was givLQJ D ORW RI Ă€ JKWLQJ WDON HVSHFLDOO\ towards Kate’s boyfriend who was obviously concerned for her safety, but nothing he said was sexually explicit and perverse. “He just seemed aggressive and

QRW YHU\ SOHDVDQW , MXVW DVVXPHG he was drunk. After a few minutes of shouting back and forth it must have become clear to him that he wasn’t going to get anywhere near Kate again and so he moved on.â€? 6KDNHQ E\ WKH HQFRXQWHU 0F&DQQ told The Courier ´,W ZDV D UHDOO\ IULJKWHQLQJ H[SHULHQFH DQG , IHHO stupid for walking home on my RZQ LQ WKH Ă€ UVW SODFH ´, KDYH OLYHG LQ 1HZFDVWOH IRU three years now and have never experienced anything like this but it just goes to show that it can and does happen, even in a city which is considered safe. “We should really be more careful about walking home alone, especially in the middle of the night; you just never know who will be waiting around the corner.â€? 0F&DQQ UHSRUWHG WKH LQFLGHQW WR Northumbria Police the following PRUQLQJ 7KH\ FRQĂ€ UPHG WKDW ´D woman reported to the police in Newcastle that she had been approached by a man outside The *RRVH SXEOLF KRXVH HDUO\ WKDW PRUQ ing. She reported that she felt threatened by his behaviour. Police are making enquiries but are not linking it to any other incidents at this time. 7KH SROLFH ZHUH DEOH WR ORFDWH &&79 footage, which chillingly shows the premeditated nature of the incident, as the attacker is shown lurking in DQ DOOH\ RXWVLGH 7KH *RRVH DQG WKHQ UXQQLQJ DIWHU 0F&DQQ DV KH VHHV KHU walk past on her own. He is described as tall and stocky, around 40-45 years old and with a distinctive Eastern European accent

and rather broken English. At the WLPH RI WKH HQFRXQWHU ZLWK 0F&DQQ KH ZDV ZHDULQJ D EODFN Ă HHFH NKDNL trousers, a black woolly hat and sunglasses, despite the fact that it was the middle of the night. More sinister is the fact that he did originally attempt to impersonate a SROLFH RIĂ€ FHU FDUU\LQJ ERWK D SROLFH badge and what appeared to be an ear piece. This incident coincides with another incident that occurred the same night in which an 18-year-old girl was lured into a car on Redheugh Bridge, driven to Wilson Street in *DWHVKHDG DQG VH[XDOO\ DVVDXOWHG The police do not believe that the attacks were in any way linked but the occurrence enforces the need for women to take seriously the risk they are putting themselves in by walking alone at night, even short and well known distances. 6WXGHQW 6XSSRUW 2IĂ€ FHU 3HWH 0HU cer told The Courier: “Newcastle is statistically one of the safest cities in the country but there are still people out there who would do harm if given the opportunity. “Walking alone at night should be avoided and students should not be naĂŻve to the danger. You can pick XS D VDIHW\ DODUP IURP P\ RIĂ€ FH LQ the Union. They may seem silly but they can give you vital seconds in an emergency. ‘Students should also be reminded that the Nightbus operates around the campus and halls 5 nights a week and costs just 70p; it’s a small price to pay for your personal safety, just don’t take the risk.â€?

6WXGHQWV Ă DVKGDQFH IRU FOLPDWH FKDQJH FDPSDLJQ Tarren Smarr Students dressed in blue, literally from head to toe, danced to the beat LQ D Ă DVK GDQFH ODVW 0RQGD\ WR SUR mote increased awareness of climate change and issues surrounding the controversial topic. Sponsored by the People and Planet Society, interested participants gathered at the Union building prior to the big showdown in order to OHDUQ D GDQFH WR WKH VRQJ *DOYDQL]H E\ 7KH &KHPLFDO %URWKHUV 2YHU VWXGHQWV WXUQHG XS donned in blue to show their support and dance for hopes of inFUHDVHG DZDUHQHVV 7KH Ă DVK PRE in dance form, was used to help attract potential support for the People and Planet Society as well as their events. “We were really happy to see so many people come out for the event. We were not expecting to have so many dancers and their enthusiasm LV DSSUHFLDWHG Âľ &DPLHOOH 6LPRQHW a postgraduate student in Law, told The Courier. “We hope that more people will become interested in supporting efforts to reduce climate change and help us to pressure Brittan to take a Ă€ UP VWDQFH LQ &RSHQKDJHQ Âľ 0DQ\ SDUWLFLSDQWV IURP WKH Ă DVK dance, as well as other supporters from Newcastle University, 30 in total, attended The Wave a few days later on Saturday the 5th in Lon-

don. Tens of thousands of people, inFOXGLQJ WKH Ă DVK GDQFHUV UHJLVWHUHG for the event, which involved parWLFLSDQWV SHUIRUPLQJ WKH VDPH Ă DVK dance that was seen by the Newcas-

tle students on Monday. ´,W LV JUHDW WR VHH \RXQJ XQLYHUVLW\ students take such an active role in world eventsâ€?, commented onlooker Marcus Short who was passing through when the students turned

the area outside the Union into an LPSURPSWX GDQFH Ă RRU “These students are the future for the world and if they are taking a VWDQFH , IHHO D ELW VDIHU OLYLQJ LQ LW Âľ T. SMARR

The time has come to galvanise: students gather outside the Union to dance to the Chemical Brothers and raise awareness for climate change

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

3

NEWS

Donaldson excited by new role David Coverdale Editor

Shear class: Newcastle United and England legend Alan Shearer will be awarded an honorary degree this afternoon as part of Sir Liam Donaldson’s inauguration as Newcastle University Chancellor

Shearer to receive honorary degree Caroline Argyropulo-Palmer Geordie sporting hero Alan Shearer is to become a Newcastle University graduate today. As part of the inauguration ceremony of the new Chancellor Sir Liam Donaldson, four honorary degrees will be handed out, with the ceremony available to watch live onOLQH IRU WKH À UVW WLPH LQ LWV KLVWRU\ Shearer will be awarded the title of Doctor of Civil Law (DCL), his second honorary degree. The former Newcastle United striker and BBC presenter received WKH À UVW RI KLV '&/V IURP 1RUWKXP

bria University in December 2006 at a ceremony in Newcastle City Hall. Shearer was also made a Freeman of Newcastle-Upon-Tyne in 2000 which allows him to graze cows on the Town Moor areas, including Castle Leazes. He maintains strong links with the city; earlier this year he was commissioned as a Deputy Lieutenant of Northumberland, and has raised money for many local charities. Karen Davis, president of The Commonwealth Fund, Lord Darzi of Denham KBE, a professor of surgery at Imperial College London and member of Her Majesty’s Most

Honourable Privy Council, and the BBC’s medical correspondent Fergus Walsh will also be presented with honorary degrees. Past recipients of honorary Newcastle University degrees include Sir Bob Geldof (2007), Prime Minister Gordon Brown (2007), Angel of the North Sculptor Anthony Gormley (2004), journalist and former undergraduate Katie Adie (1990) and Dame Catherine Cookson (1983). Sir Liam has himself received a Newcastle University accolade as he was made an honorary Professor of Applied Epidemiology in 1989. Honorary degree award ceremo-

nies take place annually, usually in April or May, as well as extra ceremonies if there are important occasions. At the time of their inauguration Chancellors are given the opportunity to make nominations of their choice, but on other occasions decisions have to pass several boards before acceptance. There are no set criteria for nominees, but they are usually people who have excelled in a particular À HOG HVSHFLDOO\ RQH RI LQWHUHVW WR the University, or someone with a VWURQJ DIÀ QLW\ ZLWK WKH 1RUWK (DVW

Disabled students miss out on support LQ VWXGHQW ORDQV ¿ DVFR Nile Amos More than 12,000 disabled students KDYH IDLOHG WR UHFHLYH WKH À QDQFLDO support needed to pay for specialist assistance and equipment whilst at University. The continued plight of the Student Loans Company (SLC) in administering loans and grants has already affected up to 70,000 students across the country. However, according to a Guardian report, the knock-on effect of mislaid documentation and constantly busy phone lines has left up to one LQ À YH VWXGHQWV ZLWK GLVDELOLWLHV lacking required resources. Despite the government allocating £90 million every year towards assisting disabled students, the fact

that the SLC has completely taken over the allocation of where and to whom the funding goes has meant that, given the backlog of applications, it could take up to 75 weeks for WKH PRQH\ WR Ă€ QDOO\ FRPH WKURXJK For Wes Streeting, President of the National Union of Students, the situation is dire enough to call for the chief executive of the SLC, Ralph Seymour-Jackson, to resign from his post. Streeting told The Guardian that this particular episode: “reveals just how big the problem is. Students can’t get by without that money. It’s disgraceful that so many disabled students are waiting for their allowances.â€? Students with disabilities can qualify for up to ÂŁ5,000 for equipment,

and around ÂŁ20,000 for personal assistance from a carer. However, part of the application service involves rigorous examination of the medical evidence which supports applications for a Disability Allowance. The SLC seems to have struggled with the demands of deciding who receives the funding, and as a result, only 3,294 out of 15,371 applications have been processed. All of this has become particularly embarrassing for the SLC, not helped by the revelation of its executives receiving up to ÂŁ2million in bonuses earlier this month. In relation to the North East, this is part of a wider context which has been highlighted in a report made by the national campaigners for suf-

ferers of Muscular Dystrophy, the Trailblazers. They found that: ‡ )RXU RXW RI À YH \RXQJ GLVDEOHG SHRSOH GR QRW IHHO FRQÀ GHQW WKDW they can pursue a leisure activity spontaneously. ‡ )RXU RXW RI À YH \RXQJ GLVDEOHG SHRSOH KDYH H[SHULHQFHG GLIÀ FXOWLHV using a leisure facility because they are a disabled person. ‡ )RXU RXW RI À YH WKRXJKW WKDW WKH accessibility of leisure facilities in their area was average, poor or very poor. ‡ )RXU RXW RI À YH \RXQJ GLVDEOHG people surveyed felt that most people who work for leisure pursuit organisations did not understand the issues disabled people face. Newcastle University was unavailable for comment.

Sir Liam Donaldson has outlined his vision for Newcastle University as he takes on the role of Chancellor following his inauguration today. 7KH &KLHI 0HGLFDO 2IĂ€ FHU KDV VHW his sights on a rise up the University league tables, and will look to exploit his regional, national and international contacts in order to achieve his goal. Speaking exclusively to The Courier, Sir Liam said: “I like to see any entity like this moving up the league tables so I think that would probably be the main aim and it’s already heading in the right direction. “I’ve got a lot of contacts internationally through the World Health Organisation and I think that will be of help to the University in expanding its operation internationally “It will be useful to some of the researchers in putting them in contact with people in other countries and hopefully it will help with fundraising as well.â€? The Chancellor is the ceremonial head of the University and plays a key advisory role as well as being a public representative and senior ambassador. Sir Liam, however, thinks the position “can be more than a ceremonial roleâ€? and is looking forward to taking a more hands-on approach in certain aspects of the job. “They’ve said to me, rather disarmingly, that I can do anything I want, so that’s quite a nice open invitation,â€? joked Sir Liam. “I’m going to think through what things I might do to help. Obviously representing the University at home and abroad will be an important part of the role, but I’d like to have a special interest. “When I look at the University, or look at universities in general, I see the role of research, teaching and playing a part in regional development. “But I don’t see such a strong role in developing young people who come into the university as students. “I’d like to perhaps contribute to a bit more thinking about how we can maybe formalise that and make the University an even more important part of people’s personal development. “I’d also like to do something on the health side. It would be great to think that we might become the healthiest student body in the country ´,W¡V GLIĂ€ FXOW ZKHQ WKHUH DUH DOO the temptations of the eating and the drinking and all of the other things that are quite an important part of student life. “But it would be very, very good if we could set the way forward for trying to make it a really healthy campus, and I’ve got some ideas on that front.â€? Sir Liam is no stranger to the North East, having been born in Middlesbrough and worked as Regional 0HGLFDO 2IĂ€ FHU DQG ODWHU &KLHI ([HFXWLYH 2IĂ€ FHU IRU WKH 1RUWKHUQ Regional Health Authority. He also has strong connections with the University after being made an honorary Professor of Applied Epidemiology in 1989. He added: “If there is any university in the country that I feel an identity with, it’s Newcastle, so when I got the invitation to be Chancellor, I was absolutely thrilled.â€?

4

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

NEWS P. BOOTH

Mystery intruder saga continues at Robinson Library Alex Felton The Robinson Library has an intruder who repeatedly enters the building and is having to be forcibly removed by both security and the police. Last Sunday, a number of students informed The Courier that police had entered Level 3 of the Robinson Library to look for an ‘undesirable’ who may have been in hiding. There had been sightings of him running up and down the staircases and causing a furore, whilst students tried to get on with their work with deadlines looming at this time of year. 3ROLFH RIĂ€FHUV WKHQ FRQGXFWHG D WKRURXJK VHDUFK DFURVV DOO Ă RRUV RI the building, looking for any suspicious packages or bags that had been tampered with or left behind. This follows a similar incident on Sunday 15 November where there were sightings of police escorting a young gentleman out of the Robinson Library, after he had been confronted by the librarians asking for his smart card. With reports of the same man being continually seen near University buildings, including both the Law and Walton libraries, security concerns have been raised across campus. An anonymous source told The Courier: “He has been seen running up and down the stairs, when the

Robinson Library staff ask him for his smart card. “It seems that this man has a compulsion to be on the computers and the University appears to be covering up these incidents to avoid negative publicity rather than dealing with them effectively.â€? Speaking about last Sunday’s incident, 3rd year Politics student Larisa Brown told The Courier: “I was sat in the main study area on Level 3 when two police men walked around. “When they had checked around the main area they looked in the inGLYLGXDO URRPV DQG RIĂ€FHV WR VHH LI anyone was hiding there. “When asking the police men why they were there, they said that the porters had alerted them that an undesirable had entered the buildLQJ DQG WKH\ ZHUH ZDQWLQJ WR Ă€QG him. They said there was nothing to worry about.â€? 3rd year Architecture student Simon Penrose was also in the Robinson Library at the time of the incident and spotted the man as he worked away on Level 3. “It was surreal really. I had just SRSSHG LQ WR Ă€QLVK RII VRPH QRWHV when this man was just wandering around the levels. “He must have passed me on several different occasions but, although bizarre, I thought nothing of it. “You need to have a smart card to get into the Robinson Library anyway. You just assume that people

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are there to work.� Both the Robinson Library and Northumbria Police would not comment on Sunday’s episode, but Northumbria Police did issue a statement to The Courier relating to the incident earlier in the month.

“At 6.42pm on Sunday, November 15, police received a report from a member of the library staff of an intruder at the Robinson Library, Newcastle University, Newcastle. “The library was open at the time and full of students. Police attended

and a member of the public was spoken to. “No offences were disclosed to RIĂ€FHUV DQG WKH SUHPLVHV UHYHDOHG nothing untoward. No crime was committed.â€?

Metro announce freeze on fares for new year Sophie McCoid Last year The Courier reported on the high increases in Metro fares, which meant bad news for people on lower incomes and for the students of Newcastle University. The high rise in price led to pressure from outside groups and members of the local council being placed upon Nexus who run the Metro. Their campaigning efforts have clearly paid off as Metro fare prices are being frozen for 2010 meaning that prices will be exactly the same as the current year. One such pressure group the KMP, otherwise known as Keep Metro Public comments: “This is very encouraging news; the metro should be accessible to everyone, freezing prices means that this can become a Zoe McNamee Commentary Transport is expensive. Every student guide on choosing houses tells us that we must balance the cheapness of living on the outskirts of town with the cost of commuting in and out every day. The journey to university and back again can add up to more than ÂŁ20 per week spent on fares alone. Nexus’s promise to freeze most Metro fares for the next twelve months is being held up as some great humanitarian measure to help crunch-hit families, but it is nothing like. Since when was doing nothing the best of all possible options? 2YHU WKH ODVW VL[ PRQWKV LQĂ D-

reality. Nexus are making a step in the right direction.â€? Nexus had wanted to increase the price of Daysaver tickets by 10p and of Metrosavers by 50p. This move was blocked however by the integrated transport authority, who DUJXHG WKDW VLQFH LQĂ DWLRQ KDGQ¡W fallen there should be no fare rise. Whilst this is good news for lower income families and students, Nexus now face a shortfall of ÂŁ75,000. Bernard Gardener, Director GenHUDO RI 1H[XV LV FRQĂ€GHQW KRZHYHU that the shortfall can be made up by increasing passenger numbers in the coming year: “We are hopeful that by marketing the excellent value of Metro we can make up the small budget shortfall by getting more people to travel with usâ€?. Singles, returns, child fares, trans-

fares, weekly, four-weekly, annual Metrosavers and most importantly student fares will all be frozen next year. This is fantastic news that is welcomed by many citizens of Newcastle. There is more good news for students as well, with the price of a four weekly metro student card being reduced from ÂŁ31 to ÂŁ30. Pamela Henry, Accounting student, and regular user of the Metro told The Courier: “This is really welcome news. As a student on a tight budget, the Metro is already a substantial drain on my resources so anything that will help to cut costs is greatly appreciated.â€? Henry’s sentiment is echoed throughout the student population with the general consensus being extremely positive about this news.

tion has fallen in the UK. When LQà DWLRQ ULVHV DV LW XVXDOO\ GRHV prices go up. They have to: there’s more money about. :KHQ LQà DWLRQ IDOOV FRPSDQLHV UDUHO\ ÀJKW WR EH WKH ÀUVW WR FXW prices. Nexus makes a huge song and dance about the price freeze, as though increasing fares would have been the natural thing to do. It would not have been natural. As Nexus is heavily funded by the taxpayer, it would have been theft. The natural thing - or at least the most honourable thing - for Nexus to do would have been to cut fares LQ OLQH ZLWK LQà DWLRQ 7KLV ZRXOG only have saved passengers a few pence per journey, but this is less important than what a price cut would have symbolised. A price cut would have reminded consumers that things don’t just

get more expensive or stay the same; they also get cheaper. As it is, the public is being brainwashed into accepting unacceptable prices for something that isn’t that great. Twenty minutes sat next to a drunk? I can get that for free at home. This price freeze was not even Nexus’s idea. Nexus took the Transport Authority’s idea and passed it off as its own. This seems a bit dishonest and does nothing to boost people’s faith in big business. If the transport companies want to be rid of their popular image as a soulless, unsympathetic bloodsucker, they need to change their ways. They need to stop playing us for fools.

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

5

NEWS

Research reveals the magic of mint tea works.â€? Graciela, who remembers being given the herb herself as child in Brazil, led a team that tested the treatment on mice and now needs to take the next steps in the research SURFHVV DQG Ă€QG RXW LI WKH GUXJ works on humans in the same way. In order to mimic the traditional pain relief treatment as accurately as possible, Graciela and the Newcastle team of scientists went to Brazil WR Ă€QG RXW KRZ WKH PHGLFLQH LV W\SLcally prepared and in what doses. The most common method involved boiling the dried leaves in water for 30 minutes and allowing the liquid to cool before drinking it as a tea. Dr Rocha presented her work last week to the 2nd International Symposium on Medicinal and Nutraceutical Plants in New Delhi, India, and it will appear in the society’s journal, Acta Horticulturae. 7KH Ă€QGLQJV JHQHUDWHG PXFK press coverage- on the BBC, in The Guardian and even on the NHS’s RIĂ€FLDO ZHEVLWH IXUWKHU EROVWHULQJ Newcastle’s reputation for excellent VFLHQWLĂ€F UHVHDUFK But those in pain should not expect a run on the herb just yet: a word of advice from Graciela: “The taste isn’t what most people here in the UK would recognize as a mint. “In fact it tastes more like sage which is another member of the mint family. Not that nice, really, but then medicine isn’t supposed to be nice, is it?â€?

James Brown They say that a cup of tea will solve anything. It seems that might include physical pain now too. A scientist from Newcastle University and her team have proven that an ancient herbal tea remedy is as effective at relieving pain as an aspirin-style drug. For thousands of years, Brazilian mint (Latin name Hyptis crenata) has been prescribed by traditional healers in Brazil to treat a range of illnesses from headaches and stomDFK SDLQ WR IHYHU DQG Ă X 1RZ IRU WKH Ă€UVW WLPH VFLHQWLVWV know why. Brazilian-born Newcastle scientist Graciela Rocha found when testing the ancient South American herb on mice, that when prepared as a ‘tea’ – the traditional way to administer the medicine – the mint was as effective as a synthetic aspirin-style drug Indometacin. Graciela explained: “Since huPDQV Ă€UVW ZDONHG WKH HDUWK ZH KDYH looked to plants to provide a cure for our ailments – in fact it is estimated more than 50,000 plants are used worldwide for medicinal purposes. “Besides traditional use, more than half of all prescription drugs are based on a molecule that occurs naturally in a plant. “What we have done is to take a plant that is widely used to safely WUHDW SDLQ DQG VFLHQWLĂ€FDOO\ SURYHQ that it works as well as some synthetic drugs. Now the next step is WR Ă€QG RXW KRZ DQG ZK\ WKH SODQW

No objections: Newcastle lawyers SRVH IRU QXGH FKDULW\ FDOHQGDU Laura Heads Newcastle University Law School has decided to strip naked for a new calendar, following in the footsteps of the famous ‘Calendar Girls’ and other university societies that have chosen to do the same in the past. The calendar, “Newcastle Law Students Bare All‌ 2010 Calendarâ€?, features 57 models, both male and female students and staff of the Law School, in all aspects of everyday law school dealings. Pictures of the three intramural sports teams (hockey, netball and football) feature as well as pictures of students and staff going about their daily business. All have one main theme in common - given away somewhat by the title - implied nudity. The pictures show strategically placed books, sporting kit and desks, all designed to cover and preserve the modesty of the models, yet give the illusion of nakedness. The proceeds from the colour, A4, calendar are set to go towards Cancer Research UK with none being taken away for administrative costs

thanks to the negotiation of Peter Dixon and the University’s Photographic Society, and Thomas Glen for the design and printing. They aim to raise ÂŁ2,000 for the charity, with the calendars being sold at ÂŁ5 each. Carly Moore-Martin, the projects coordinator, told The Courier: “I think all the lawyers will agree that creating the calendar was a lot of fun. Now we just want to raise as much money for Cancer Research UK as possible.â€? Cancer Research UK is the world’s leading independent organisation dedicated to cancer research and is almost entirely funded by public donations. It works to educate the public on how to reduce risks of cancer, understanding how cancer starts and develops, assisting and improving the lives of those who do have cancer, and researching into better ways of treatment with fewer side effects. It has taken two months to put the FDOHQGDU WRJHWKHU IURP VWDUW WR Ă€Qish, and it will be launching on 7 of December between 6pm and 8pm with the promise of wine and nib-

bles, courtesy of the Eldon Law Society, for those who come along to celebrate the launch. For those not able to attend, the calendar will be on sale throughout the Law school at various times and will also soon be available to purchase from the charity’s website. Newcastle Law School are looking to raise ÂŁ2,000 for Cancer Research UK from their calendar which includes both students and staff Head of the Law School, Mr Ashley Wilton, told The Courier: “I applaud the enterprise and organisation of those responsible for producing the calendar for a very worthy cause. “I appreciate the great care taken to avoid causing any offence through the images used. I wish the endeavour every success and hope that it will raise large funds for the charity.â€?

Racism at universities on the rise Chris Matthews A worrying increase in the number of university students experiencing racism across the UK has been reported by The Guardian. Although high numbers of antiracism campaigns, such as Love Music, Hate Racism, One Word Week and Kick It Out, take place in universities across Britain, many university unions only have small budgets and with staff numbers decreasing, some events no longer VHHP SURĂ€WDEOH At Warwick University, the student union have been successfully running the Rise Against Racism initiative for three years but the popular week-long event was abruptly FDQFHOOHG WKLV \HDU GXH WR VWDIĂ€QJ problems. Sami Wannell, the University’s :HOIDUH 2IĂ€FHU UHVSRQGHG WR WKH criticism, claiming the university are fully supportive of such campaigns. He told The Guardian: “Overt racism is not a problem on campus, but it can be a problem off campus. “I monitor hate crime here, but outside we’re reliant on the police. We did drop Rise Against Racism week due to staff problems, but instead we celebrated Black History Month, and next year we have plans

to celebrate One World Week and to hold a concert as part of the Love Music, Hate Racism campaign.� Not only are events such as this being cancelled, the report raises concerns that these are not addressing problems in the wider community. Around Warwick University in the West Midlands, it is becoming a major problem. The area also encompasses students from Coventry, Birmingham and Aston Universities, and the police have reported that there has been an increase by nearly a third in UDFH KDWH FULPHV LQ WKH ODVW ÀYH \HDUV in the area. These statistics are furthered by a rise in support for the BNP movement in parts of the West Midlands, leaving students of racially diverse backgrounds vulnerable to potential attacks. Newcastle University students commented on this and remarked that they believed the University could be more pro-active in it’s approach towards racism. The two second year students of Nigerian and Ghanaian backgrounds both believed the University should support campaigns such as One World Week and Kick It Out, but neither said they had experienced any racially instigated attacks.

1HZFDVWOH VWXG\ Ă€QGV PHQ DUH HVSHFLDOO\ DWWUDFWHG WR WKH IDFHV RI ZRPHQ LQ RYXODWLRQ Charlie Oven When meeting new people, we are RIWHQ WLHG WR WKH PRWWR WKDW Ă€UVW LPpressions can be misleading. However, according to new research, scientists have discovered that face and gaze visually signal mutual interest, good health and genetics. This has been supported by a recent study at Newcastle University, led by Craig Roberts, which found that men are especially attracted to the faces of women in ovulation. 6XFK Ă€QGLQJV E\ 5REHUWV¡ WHDP

were on the basis that men believed photographs of women‘s faces in their fertile phase to be more attractive than photos of the same woman taken in their non ovulating phase. Roberts says that the: “increase in the facial attractiveness of women from ovulating to non-ovulating is subtle.â€? These subtleties are judged by variations in lip colour and size, pupil dilation and skin colour and tone. He also suggests that raising a ZRPDQ¡V SURĂ€OH DW D WLPH LQ KHU F\cle when the probability of concep-

tion is highest will have a dramatic impact on reproductive success. If the face is a key reference point to human attraction, then the method in which to judge a face must be of importance. A team of Scottish and Japanese scientists recently showed that men and women are attracted to more feminine faces of the opposite sex. Photographs of men and women that had been manipulated to be more feminised - rounded with smaller jaws were seen by subjects to be more honest.

Feminised male faces seemed to convey to women a ‘good father’ signal. $ ZRPHQ¡V SURĂ€OH LV QRW QHFHVVDULly the only basis which may affect reproductive success. A woman may also reveal when she is ovulating by her smell. According to Michael Stoddart, a University of Tasmania zoologist, humans are among the most highly scented of the apes. To put this to the test, scientists asked women to wear a T - shirt for three consecutive nights during ovulation and another T – shirt for

three nights during the non ovulatLQJ SKDVH 7KH ÀQGLQJV FODLP WKDW men judged as more pleasant the odour of a woman’s shirt during the fertile phase. We are often arguably led to believe that attraction to the opposite sex is simply based on psychological impulses. However, examples RI WKH VFLHQWLÀF ÀQGLQJV UHODWLQJ WR sight and smell and their connection to fertility show that there are deeprooted biological processes with regards to attraction.

6

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

NEWS J. WHITTAKER

Universities call for increase in Engineer students Bethany Sissons Unless 600,000 engineers are recruited and trained over the next seven years, the British economy is going to suffer, according to a Government report released this week. The Government hopes that Britain will escape the recession by encouraging young people to enter the manufacturing and engineering sector. Forth year, Civil Engineering student, Charles Ashington-Pickett, told The Courier that more could be done in order to inform young people about studying engineering at university. He said; “the Government should go back to basics and reinvigorate science in schools, even as far back as GCSE level. “The chance to work abroad with engineering skills should also be stressed; you can get involved in big multinational projects and travel the world. Apprenticeship schemes and twinning schools with universities could encourage young people to pursue a career in engineering. “I think more should be done to connect engineering to local areas; there are projects going on to regenerate local places that could excite young people.� Engineering UK is an annual report carried out in order to provide evidence on the demand for and supply of engineers. The annual health check by the Engineering and Technology Board reveals that the state of the industrial labour market is dangerous and there is a potential skills shortage. The report states that the UK has “great potential to rebalance its economy by drawing on its strong manufacturing base�. However, the report also shows that there has been a 30% decrease in the number of lecturers teaching engineering, manufacturing and tech-

nology courses. There is growing concern that the decreasing number of further education lecturers means that engineering skills cannot be passed on. This could damage industries such as manufacturing, aerospace and construction. In addition, there has been a 17% decline this year in the number of students opting to study production and manufacturing at university. Newcastle University students can understand the debate about studying an engineering degree at university. Ross Toms, 1st year Chemical Engineering student, told The Courier: “Engineering is a good degree because it’s practical, useful and leads straight into a job. It’s not general, like an arts degree.â€? $QRWKHU Ă€UVW \HDU &LYLO (QJLQHHUing student, Freddie Forsyth, believes that engineering is less popular than arts degrees because “it’s boring. You can’t use your imagination and it’s all about rulesâ€?. The UK needs an extra 587,000 engineers between now and 2017 but most importantly they all need to have advanced skills. At present, there are approximately 40,000 new engineers entering the workforce each year, but unfortunately many of them have limited training. In order to compete with other developed economies, Britain’s engineers must be highly skilled. Furthermore, engineering in Britain is becoming increasingly domiQDWHG E\ KL WHFK Ă€UPV WKLV LV DQother reason why engineers must be trained to a high standard. The report states that by 2017, almost half of all manufacturing employees will QHHG WR EH TXDOLĂ€HG WR DGYDQFHG apprentice, graduate or even postgraduate standard. Engineering and manufacturing courses tend to have a male-domi-

nated image, and therefore many females choose not to study engineering at university. The report shows that the sector needs to break away from its male-dominated image if WKH 8. LV WR Ă€QG WKH QHZ HQgineers that it needs. However, Ross Toms points out the difference between international and English students. Ross told The Courier that although there is a sigQLĂ€FDQWO\ KLJKHU QXPEHU RI (QJOLVK boys studying engineering, there is a more even divide amongst international students; “with international students, the male/female split is 60/40 or lessâ€?. Maude Barrow, a forth year Environmental Engineer, expressed the IDFW WKDW WKHUH LV D VLJQLĂ€FDQW JHQGHU divide on her degree course.

“There are 11 girls on my course out of 67 students in total� she told The Courier. Barrow added that specialising in environmental engineering is perceived as more feminine; the male students often want to concentrate on the construction side of the course, which could perhaps be seen as more masculine. Maude also commented: “At past interviews I have sensed sexism in the work place; male interviewers seem to be concerned that female engineers will be a distraction. “During my work experience this summer I was jokingly called ‘the new secretary’ and on site girls have to deal with crude remarks from male builders. You feel undermined in front of your manager when this happens. In a professional situation,

it’s embarrassing.� Gordon Brown realises how important the manufacturing industry is to the economic state of Britain. He said last week at the CBI conference that technicians are crucial to the future economic health of the country. Peter Mandelson, the Business Secretary has also stressed the government’s value of the manufacturing industry and the improvement of industry in our country. Mandelson said earlier this year WKDW %ULWDLQ QHHGHG OHVV ÀQDQFLDO HQgineering and more real engineering. The future for young engineers looks bright. Newcastle’s engineering students could be the answer to the present economic crisis.

Popular restaurant hospitalises student Newcastle’s University’s Queen Jessica Tully News Editor A Newcastle University student has spoken out about the treatment he and his girlfriend received in popular student Indian restaurant Mrs Ali’s, which resulted in his girlfriend being rushed to hospital. Third year Zoology student, Jack Slater, had to take his girlfriend, Danielle Salmon, to hospital after she had an allergic reaction to a side dish that was served to them. The incident happened last Thursday night, whilst the couple were taking advantage of the cheap menu deals the restaurant offers in connection with an offer advertised in student Snapfaxes. Salmon, who has a severe nut allergy, ordered what she believed to be a nut-free starter, but she was allegedly served the wrong side dish and instantly had an allergic reaction, going into anaphylactic shock. Salmon told The Courier: “All of the other items on the menu indicated whether the dishes contained nuts or not, so as far as I was concerned I was genuinely happy that my meal would not contain nuts�. Luckily, Salmon carries an adrenaline pen with her and her boyfriend had been instructed on how to use it.

The couple told The Courier that the waiter showed “little concern� whilst Slater was trying to inject his girlfriend and as a taxi was called to take the pair to hospital they were repeatedly reminded that they had to pay for their meal. Slater commented: “I am absolutely disgusted at the way we were treated. I have never felt so much like a pound sign in my life. All they cared about was getting the money and showed no concern for the welfare of the customer they had just put in hospital. “Whilst I was trying to inject Danielle, the waiter badgered us about what we should and shouldn’t be paying for the meal. We ordered a taxi and left straight for the emergency room�. The couple returned to the restaurant on Saturday evening to talk to the manger about the incident. Slater told The Courier: “They questioned me on the incident stating that the smallest taste should not cause an allergic reaction. This was completely out of order considering we spent the night in hospital. “We were told we should have recognised the wrong food was presented to us and told them straight away; something that is not too easy to do when you don’t eat at Indian restaurants all that often, and in our

case, never in Mrs Ali’s before!� Later that evening, the couple received a phone call from restaurant manager, Mrs Ali herself, who shouted abuse at Slater, swearing at him and informed him that the couple were banned from the restaurant and the police had been informed. Slater commented: “I am completely shocked at the treatment me and Danielle received. It is a poorly run establishment that has no consideration for its customers. We paid for a service that was wrongly carried out and put Danielle in hospital. “Luckily she had an adrenaline pen with her, otherwise who knows how the night would have ended up. No one in their right mind would have paid for that meal.� The Courier contacted Mrs Ali’s and the owner, Mrs Ali, commented: “As far as I am concerned the staff dealt with the situation. “The customer did not inform us that she suffered from a nut allergy and we gave them compensation in the form of a taxi fare to take them to hospital that night. “I did speak to Mr Slater that night on the phone and informed him that he should not carry out this sort of behaviour to receive a free meal.� The restaurant refused to apologise any further to the couple.

of the frozen feast returns

Katy Covell After The Courier reported on her JDLQLQJ D SODFH LQ WKH Ă€QDO RI WKHLU ‘Do the World a Flavour’ challenge, we know those Phish Food fanatics DPRQJ \RX ZLOO EH DQ[LRXV WR Ă€QG out how 4th year music student, Cherie Vinter-Lindsay’s, fared in her foray into the world of Ben & Jerry’s fair-trade frolics. The culinary creative and UK representative joined 14 other inWHUQDWLRQDO Ă€QDOLVWV LQ Ă \LQJ RXW to the Dominican Republic at the beginning of November to meet with sorbet sultans Ben Cohen and -HUU\ *UHHQĂ€HOG DQG VSHQW WKH ZHHN learning about their fair-trade mission. Vinter-Lindsay told The Courier: “It was brilliant! Not only did I get to meet Ben and Jerry but I also got to see how they’re giving back to the farmers and their families. “We were given a tour of the cocoa plantations to see how they manage the crops, and then they let us have a go ourselves and try cocoa beans straight from the tree!â€? What with their emphasis on ecofriendly packaging and compassion for their workers, Ben and Jerry certainly impressed Vinter-Lindsay. She revealed: “When I shook their

hands I was like, “Your face is in my freezer!â€?. It wasn’t all leisure though; at the HQG RI WKH ZHHN WKH Ă€QDOLVWV HQWHUHG the kitchens and battled it out to see whose concoction would become WKH QHZ Ă DYRXU RI )DLU WUDGH DQG tub of tongue-tingling goodness. The going was tough; Vinter-Lindsay followed her rigorous training programme and skipped breakfast in anticipation of the avalanche of ice-cream she knew was coming her ZD\ EXW ZDV OHIW O\LQJ RQ WKH Ă RRU after devouring an awesome 15 scoops of punch-packing ice-cream. In the end Toni Gunnison of Wisconsin was crowned the winner with her ‘Almond Delight’; a tasty number that combines a caramel base with praline almonds and caramel swirls. Vinter-Lindsey remains positive about the whole experience. She said: “Coming to the Dominican Republic was a prize enough. I’ve met some great people. Just meeting all the farmers and visiting their plantations which have been in their families ,for generations, and seeing how their lives have been improved by the fairtrade mission‌it’s been very special.â€?

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

7

NEWS

Formal complaints against University double Joshua Shrimpton Dean An investigation by The Courier has found that formal complaints made by students against Newcastle UniYHUVLW\ KDYH GRXEOHG LQ WKH ODVW Ă€YH years. 7KH Ă€JXUHV REWDLQHG GLUHFWO\ IURP the University using the Freedom of ,QIRUPDWLRQ $FW PLUURU D QDWLRQDO trend. 7KH 2IĂ€FH RI WKH ,QGHSHQGHQW $GMXGLFDWRU IRU +LJKHU (GXFDWLRQ which operates an independent VWXGHQW FRPSODLQWV VFKHPH KDV UHported that twice as many students are making complaints against universities than in 2005. Issues relating to academic provision and fees were disclosed as the most common causes for complaint against the University. It is thought that students are now taking a more consumerist approach as they become increasingly aware RI KRZ WKHLU PRQH\ LV EHLQJ VSHQW following the introduction of top-up fees in 2006. $ VQDSVKRW VXUYH\ RI VWXGHQWV carried out in recent weeks by The Courier VKRZV WKDW RQO\ EHOLHYH they are getting value for money in return for their fees. The number is only likely to fall as the debate surrounding the looming WXLWLRQ IHH LQFUHDVH LQWHQVLĂ€HV QG \HDU 0HGLD &RPPXQLFDWLRQ &XOWXUDO 6WXGLHV VWXGHQW +DQQDK <DWHV UHĂ HFWHG WKH PRRG DPRQJVW many undergraduates: ´3D\LQJ IHHV WKDW DUH RYHU Â… for six hours a week of teaching

VHHPV ULGLFXORXV DW WLPHV HVSHcially when people pay exactly the same for courses that have triple the teaching time. Although I do think the teaching RQ P\ FRXUVH LV JUHDW , GR RIWHQ wonder what my tuition fees are spent on; I’m normally lucky to receive a handout.â€? 6XFK YLHZV DUH QRW XQFRPPRQ DW a time when universities are lobbying to increase UK and EU undergraduate tuition fees from the curUHQW Â… WR DV PXFK DV Â… SHU year. The Government are avoiding committing to any unpopular change in policy until after the general election. But many students do believe that high fees are an inevitable and worthwhile part of receiving a university education. 7KLUG \HDU 3V\FKRORJ\ VWXGHQW 'DYH <RXQJ VDLG ´, WKLQN FRXUVH IHHV DUH KLJK +RZHYHU KLJKHU HGXcation is very valuable. ,Q WKH 8 . DQ\RQH ZLOOLQJ WR SXW the work in is given the opportunity to go to university and given provisions that should not be taken for granted. 7KHUHIRUH XQLYHUVLW\ LV QRW H[clusively for people who are lucky enough to afford to go; but exclusively for people who value it HQRXJK WR PDNH D VDFULĂ€FH Âľ Quality of teaching is a common cause for complaint amongst students throughout U.K. universities. +RZHYHU The Courier’s survey reĂ HFWV 1HZFDVWOH 8QLYHUVLW\¡V H[FHO-

London Metropolitan claim £36m of funding for thousands of fake students Elliot Bentley London Metropolitan University’s governors have been called to resign after a report exposed the University for claiming funding for thousands of non-existent students. The claims for £36m have been dePDQGHG EDFN LQ IXOO PDNLQJ LW OLNHO\ that hundreds of academic staff will be made redundant.

$FFRUGLQJ WR WKH UHSRUW /RQGRQ Metropolitan failed to keep accurate UHFRUGV RI VWXGHQWV RU HYHQ WR PDNH sure they turned up to exams. The general secretary of the UniYHUVLW\ DQG &ROOHJH 8QLRQ ZKLFK UHSUHVHQWV OHFWXUHUV VDLG ´1RERG\ ZLOO KDYH FRQĂ€GHQFH LQ WKH 8QLYHUsity until there has been a proper shake-up at the top.â€?

lent track-record; students rated the WHDFKLQJ DW RXW RI D SRVVLEOH 6RFLROLQJXLVWLFV VWXGHQW &pOLD Athanase said: “The teachers are very passionate; they want to transmit their knowledge and they try to have the students think about the subject. “I really enjoy going to my lecWXUHV ,Q DOO , DP YHU\ VDWLVĂ€HG ZLWK my experience at Newcastle.â€? The standard of support available to students was rated less favourably; the survey gave an average score of 3.5 out of a possible 5 for experiences including the accessibilLW\ RI SHUVRQDO WXWRUV WKH &DUHHUV 6HUYLFH DQG WKH 6WXGHQW :HOOEHLQJ 6HUYLFH “The generalisation about the nature of complaints is not necessarily helpful.â€? Professor Ella Ritchie, Pro-Vice-Chancellor for Teaching and Learning

'U -LP 6PLWK 0DQDJHU RI 6WXGHQW )LQDQFLDO 6XSSRUW DW 1HZFDVWOH 8QLYHUVLW\ WROG The Courier how the ongoing student loan crisis has led to LQFUHDVHG SUHVVXUH RQ WKH 6WXGHQW :HOOEHLQJ VHUYLFH +H VDLG ´:H FDQQRW LQĂ XHQFH WKH VSHHG RU ODFN RI LW ZLWK ZKLFK 6WXdent Finance England are dealing ZLWK RXWVWDQGLQJ VWXGHQW Ă€QDQFLDO awards this year.

“That is a source of disappointment WR XV DOO 6WXGHQWV GR DFFHSW ZH DUH trying to assist them however.â€? But claims that the majority of complaints relate to high fees are PLVOHDGLQJ VDLG 3UR 9LFH &KDQFHOORU IRU 7HDFKLQJ DQG /HDUQLQJ 3URfessor Ella Ritchie. “The reality is that a student will typically complain that something has gone wrong with their programme or they have not been fully VXSSRUWHG Âľ VKH VDLG “They will then go on to say that they should not have to pay full fees in the light of the issues. ´:H WDNH DOO FRPSODLQWV VHULRXVO\ and each one is looked at individually. The generalisation about the nature of complaints is not necessarily helpful and masks a vast array of individual circumstances.â€? Professor Ritchie also urged students to be prudent and address issues as they arise. ´&RPSODLQWV DUH D IRUP RI IHHGback and if students feel that there is DQ LVVXH WKH\ VKRXOG UDLVH LW “But I do encourage an early and informal approach to any isVXHV ZKHUHYHU SRVVLEOH SUHIHUDEO\ speaking directly to the person responsible for the issue. “Most University staff will respond positively to constructive feedback.â€? Other complaints raised against the University include issues with VWDII EHKDYLRXU Ă€WQHVV WR SUDFWLFH DVVHVVPHQW LUUHJXODULWLHV LQDGHquate advice and bullying.

Caroline Argyropulo-Palmer Commentary I have one semester left of my undergraduate degree, and am an English Literature student. I have therefore had plenty of time and, as one of the lowest contact hour courses, apparently plenty of reasons, to complain. However, I never have any complaints to make about the University. I don’t think it would be any different if I was paying more. I came to university because I wanted to further my study of a subject. Whether it’s value for money or not doesn’t cross my mind. I am currently in the process of applying for Masters courses. Some of these cost around £4,000. Some cost closer to £15,000. But I don’t expect more from the more expensive course, and I’m not more likely to complain if that’s where I go. Essentially, my point is that I don’t think that more complaints have anything to do with the standard of the University. And I’m not convinced it’s economic either. So why? Maybe its just that how to complain has been more advertised. Or that what is counted as a complaint has changed. And anyway, complaints, why ever made, should help the uni to improve and develop, not cause more criticism.

Student falls in front of train whilst running in high heels 0HJDQ 0RRUH VOLSSHG ZKLOVW waving goodbye to friends at AngPHULQJ 6WDWLRQ LQ :HVW 6XVVH[ 6KH KDG MXVW GLVHPEDUNHG WKH WUDLQ DQG ZDV UXQQLQJ DORQJVLGH WDSSLQJ on the window when she fell into

the gap between the platform and the train. 6KH ZDV SURQRXQFHG GHDG DW WKH VFHQH 6N\ 1HZV TXRWHG D IULHQG RI 0RRUH DV VD\LQJ ´6KH JRW RII WKH train and started running and then

she just suddenly slipped “At one point she was literally in front of me and then seconds later she was on the track.�

Thousands of students without loans as term comes to end $ ZHHN EHIRUH WKH &KULVWPDV KROLGD\V EHJLQ VWXGHQWV DUH VWLOO waiting on their student loans. Government statistics show that … P OHVV KDV EHHQ VSHQW E\ WKH 6WXGHQW /RDQV &RPSDQ\ FRPSDUHG WR WKH VDPH WLPH ODVW \HDU GHVSLWH D dramatic increase in applications. RI WKRVH VWLOO ZDLWLQJ DUH GLVDEOHG VWXGHQWV ZKR KDYH EHHQ OHIW without equipment or helpers. Despite an ongoing review into the situation by two senior government ÀJXUHV SUHFLRXV OLWWOH KDV EHHQ GRQH WR UHYHUVH WKH VLWXDWLRQ E\ WKH 6WX-

GHQW /RDQV &RPSDQ\ OHDGLQJ LW WR be branded “completely unacceptDEOHÂľ E\ *UHJ 6WRQH RI WKH /LEHUDO Democrats. 0HDQZKLOH D VWXGHQW VWLOO ZDLWLQJ RQ KHU ORDQ KDV WROG WKH %%& WKDW VKH has been forced to work as a stripper in order to pay her tuition fees and accommodation. “It is not the way I ZDQWHG WR VWDUW XQL EXW P\ UHQW LV GXH Âľ VKH WROG %%& 1HZV A new system for student tuition fees currently being proposed by WKH 186 KDV EHHQ FULWLFLVHG ZLWK DVVHUWLRQV WKDW XQGHU WKH QHZ VFKHPH

students will have to pay around Â… PRUH IRU D EDFKHORU¡V GHJUHH than at present. The new package would see students pay for their degrees through a contribution from their income afWHU JUDGXDWLQJ DQG DFFRUGLQJ WR WKH 186 LV ´IDLUHU PRUH SURJUHVVLYH and supports widening accessâ€?. +RZHYHU D VHQLRU 186 RIĂ€FLDO DGPLWWHG WR /RQGRQ 6WXGHQW WKDW the blueprint had been “designed to ‘compete’ in policy terms with fees LI WKH\ ZHUH UDLVHG WR Â… SD QRW fees at the present levelâ€?.

Leeds Uni launches sex worker research Coke smuggling An advertisement recently placed working conditions of those in the student pleads by Leeds University is for a position HURWLF LQGXVWU\ DV ZHOO DV ORRNLQJ researching “the rise and regulation at its current position as a “main- ignorance of lap dancing and the place of sex- VWUHDPÂľ HQWHUWDLQPHQW ZLWK D VSHual labour and consumption in the night time economyâ€?. 6XFFHVVIXO DSSOLFDQWV ZLOO EH SDLG Â… WR HPEDUN RQ D PRQWK project which includes interviewing 300 erotic dancers to examine the

The invisible students: London Met University is accused of keeping inaccurate records and claiming funding for students that don’t exist. Governers have been called to resign

Long distance learners graduate online Edinburgh University is to break new grounds with an ambitious ELearning course involving tutorials taught using Twitter and a “virtual graduation ceremony�. 7KH JUDGXDWLRQ FHUHPRQ\ DLPHG at those on the course too far to travel to Edinburgh to attend the

UHDO HTXLYDOHQW ZLOO WDNH SODFH LQ 6HFRQG /LIH WKH ' RQOLQH ZRUOG where users can interact using virtual avatars. Graduates will be able to download UREHV IRU WKHLU DYDWDUV WR ZHDU DQG gather at a virtual bar afterwards.

FLĂ€F IRFXV RQ ODS GDQFHUV The position is open only to those with “prior experience in conducting research in the female sex industryâ€?.

Students choose socialising over safety 6WXGHQWV ZRXOG UDWKHU VSHQG PRQH\ on a night out than carry out vehicle safety checks. Ever been tempted to spend the money put aside for a new tyre on a night on the town? You’re not alone: RQH LQ ÀYH VWXGHQWV ZRXOG UDWKHU drive an unsafe vehicle instead of VSHQGLQJ H[WUD PRQH\ RQ À[LQJ LW according to a survey carried out by

Kwik-Fit. 7KH Ă€JXUHV DOVR UHYHDOHG WKDW of students would rather spend ÂŁ50 on a night out than on car mainteQDQFH FKHFNV 'DYLG :KLWH FXVWRPHU VHUYLFH GLUHFWRU RI .ZLN )LW warned that students mustn’t live on a student budget “at the cost of road safetyâ€?.

Over one kilogram of cocaine was found in the stomach of a mature student as he passed through customs in Manchester Airport. )LGHOLV 2]RXOL ZKR LV RULJLQDOO\ IURP 1LJHULD EXW VWXGLHV LQ /RQGRQ ZDV IRXQG ZLWK SDFNDJHV RI FRFDLQH ZRUWK Â… DIWHU FXVWRPV RIĂ€FHUV QRWLFHG KH ORRNHG ´XQQDWXrally bloatedâ€?. +DG LW OHDNHG ZLWKLQ KLV VWRPDFK WKH SHU FHQW SXUH SDFNDJH ZRXOG have been potentially fatal. Despite pleading guilty and a senWHQFH RI WHQ \HDUV 0U 2]RXOL KDV stuck to his claim of ignorance reJDUGLQJ WKH FRQWHQWV RI WKH SDFNDJH saying: “I thought I was swallowing something else to take into Britain as a favour for a pal.â€?

8

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

NEWS

On the road IURP 6RĂ€D to Newcastle

Leeds academics set for job cuts Katy Covell Last month, lecturers from the University of Leeds gathered outside the Parkinson Building in the city centre to protest against the latest set of job cuts announced by the University’s vice-chancellor. The university currently employs 8,000 staff members but intends to make savings of up to ÂŁ35m a \HDU WKURXJK FXWWLQJ D VLJQLĂ€FDQW number of these jobs, with all faculties and services being asked to identify savings. The protest took place after the University and College Union (UCU) had already passed a motion RI QR FRQĂ€GHQFH LQ 9LFH &KDQFHOORU Michael Arthur – the 20th highest paid in the country. Protesters handed in a petition against the planned cuts, signed by thousands of staff and students, to the institution when they reached the Ziff building. The UCU stated to the BBC that strike action was looking “increasingly likelyâ€? after members voted in favour of action, and murmurs of a possible student-led occupation if a staff strike goes ahead will only add to the University’s headache. Speaking to the BBC, UCU Leeds branch president Malcolm Povey commented that: “The cuts would have an enormous impact on stu-

dents’ education here in Leeds and the institution’s reputation. Getting rid of hundreds of posts will leave staff with less time to attend to the individual needs of students.â€? At present, the University boasts a student-staff ratio of 15.8 students to each academic. However, the lecturers’ union claims that job cuts could result in the university plummeting to the bottom national league tables with 17.6 students to each tutor, and one in every ten academics being made redundant. Critics have drawn attention to incongruity of these proposed cuts with the university’s ÂŁ380m building programme that aims to establish the institute as one of the top 50 universities worldwide. Mr Arthur explained to the BBC that: “I believe that universities have a huge contribution to make in helping the UK out of the recession, but it is clear we will not be protected from the fallout from the downturn. We are taking action now to protect our university from cuts in public expenditure and from a turbulent economyâ€? Whilst the furore surrounding the University employment cuts continues in Leeds, no such similar job cuts have been proposed at Newcastle University.

Katy Covell

Leeds University’s Parkinson Building: the scene of the lecturers’ protest last month

Student guise for terrorists as immigration fears increase Thomas Whiteley Dozens of extremists could have arrived in the UK posing as students, counter-terrorism police and White +DOO RIÀFLDOV FODLPHG ODVW ZHHN The claim comes amid the recent discovery by detectives in Manchester that the leader of an alleged plot to blow up shopping centres in Manchester last Easter ran a visa advice service in Peshawar, Pakistan – a city that has been frequently targeted by militants in recent months. The leader is believed to have helped other accused members of his terrorist cell to arrive from Pakistan with student visas; with Police FRQÀUPLQJ WKDW DW OHDVW RQH PHPEHU

Vacancies ZZZ QFO DF XN FDUHHUV YDFVRQOLQH The Careers Service provides information and advice on developing your VNLOOV ÂżQGLQJ D SDUW WLPH MRE ZRUN H[perience, supporting business start-up DQG ZKHQ WKH WLPH FRPHV H[SORULQJ graduate opportunities. For more details about these and other YDFDQFLHV LQFOXGLQJ GHWDLOV RI KRZ WR DSSO\ YLVLW WKHLU ZHEVLWH DW ZZZ QFO ac.uk/careers. Vacancies brought to you by the Careers Service: Job Title: 6WXGHQW ,QWHUYLHZHUV [ positions Employer: High Fliers Research Ltd Business: Graduate/Student Market Research Company Closing date: 25/01/2010 Salary: ÂŁ6 - 10 per hour Basic job description: High Fliers are FXUUHQWO\ ZRUNLQJ RQ D SURMHFW IRU 7KH Times and need to recruit student interYLHZHUV WR KHOS FROOHFW WKH LQIRUPDWLRQ 7KH SURMHFW LV EDVHG RQ ÂżQDO \HDU VWXGHQWV DW WKH XQLYHUVLW\ DQG LQWHUYLHZHUV ZLOO EH DVNHG WR FRPSOHWH LQWHUYLHZV

of the group arrived to begin a “bogus collegeâ€? course that had already had its accreditation withdrawn. The Home Affairs Select Committee in July said there could be up to 2,200 colleges that were not legitimate but were accredited by the Government under a system operating until March this year, allowing “tens of thousandsâ€? of illegal immigrants into Britain on student visas. International students from nonEU countries are lucrative income for UK Universities. Fees for nonEU undergraduate students at Newcastle start at ÂŁ10,525 for an Arts or Social Science course, but can be as much as ÂŁ25,480 per year for clinical years of Medicine and Dentistry, RYHU D GD\ SHULRG (DFK LQWHUYLHZ WDNHV EHWZHHQ PLQXWHV 7KH LQWHUYLHZV ZLOO EH FDUULHG RXW EHWZHHQ Monday 8th February and Monday 15th )HEUXDU\ 6R LI \RX NQRZ \RX ZLOO EH EXV\ ZLWK ZRUN DW WKLV WLPH FRQVLGHU ZKHWKHU \RX FDQ UHDOO\ ÂżW LQ WKH LQWHUYLHZV <RX ZLOO EH SDLG Â… SHU KRXU DQG ZLOO UHFHLYH D ERQXV RI Â… IRU reaching your target. Additionally, this MRE ZLOO ORRN IDQWDVWLF RQ \RXU & 9 Person requirements: <RX PXVW EH RUJDQLVHG DEOH WR VSDUH KRXUV SHU GD\ IRU WKH LQWHUYLHZLQJ SHULRG GD\V and be responsible for reaching your WDUJHW 7KH LGHDO FDQGLGDWHV ZLOO EH ÂżQDO \HDU VWXGHQWV RU VWXGHQWV ZKR NQRZ RU DUH FRPIRUWDEOH DW ÂżQGLQJ DW OHDVW ÂżQDOLVWV ZKR WKH\ FDQ LQWHUYLHZ IRU WKH SURMHFW 7KH\ DUH ORRNLQJ IRU D GLYHUVH UDQJH RI VWXGHQWV ERWK WR LQWHUYLHZ DQG DFW DV LQWHUYLHZHUV LQ RUGHU WR JLYH a fair representation of students at the university. Location: 1HZFDVWOH 8SRQ 7\QH Job Title: Chinese Workshop Teachers Employer: Dragons in Europe Business: Education Closing date: None given Salary: ÂŁ10 per hour Basic job description: Dragons in Europe Limited currently have over 40 Chinese teachers that are teaching in VFKRROV QDWLRQZLGH $OO RXU WHDFKHUV

which Police say is adding to the issue: “Part of the problem seems to be that foreign students generate a huge amount of money and there is not a lot of incentive to do proper checks.â€? 7KLV ZRUU\ ZDV FRQĂ€UPHG LQ D UDLG in Southall, West London earlier this year, as Police found at least 90,000 documents including 980 student visa applications, false university FHUWLĂ€FDWHV DQG DFDGHPLF UHFRUGV resulting in at least 1,000 people illegally entering the country – around 150 from Pakistan. Figures released to Parliament dating seven months previous from May of this year reveal only 29 of 66,000 applicants from Pakistan VSHDN (QJOLVK Ă€XHQWO\ DQG KDYH DOO EHHQ (QKDQFHG &5% FKHFNHG EHIRUH going into the schools. They are polite, SUHVHQWDEOH HQJDJLQJ DQG FRPH ZLWK H[FHOOHQW UHIHUHQFHV We are currently looking for fun, outgoing part-time staff to help teach in 1HZFDVWOH EDVHG SULPDU\ DQG QXUVHU\ schools starting in January. The hours IRU WKLV SRVW DUH Ă€H[LEOH EXW \RX ZLOO EH UHTXLUHG WR ZRUN D PLQLPXP RI WKUHH KRXUV SHU ZHHN Person requirements: <RX PXVW KDYH D FDU DQG D &5% FKHFN DOUHDG\ LQ SODFH <RX GR QRW QHHG WR VSHDN &KLnese but you must be reliable and have HQHUJ\ ZRUNLQJ ZLWK FKLOGUHQ Location: 1HZFDVWOH 8SRQ 7\QH Job Title: PR Staff Employer: Idols Business: %DU DQG QLJKWFOXE Closing date: None given Salary: ÂŁ7.00 per hour Basic job description: <RX ZLOO EH UHTXLUHG WR SURPRWH WKLV FHQWUDO 1HZFDVWOH EDU DQG QLJKWFOXE 7KLV ZLOO LQYROYH KDQGLQJ RXW DQG GLVWULEXWLQJ Ă€\HUV DQG putting up posters. Shifts are typically EHWZHHQ SP DQG DP ZLWK D PLQLPXP RI DURXQG KRXUV SHU ZHHN Person requirements: They are lookLQJ IRU KLJKO\ PRWLYDWHG FRQÂżGHQW DQG HQHUJHWLF LQGLYLGXDOV ZKR FDQ SRVLWLYHO\ promote the business to the public and

were interviewed; and that in 20% of all cases there were, no documentation was checked. This has led to Chris Grayling, the Shadow Home Secretary announcing that the student visa system was in desperate need of an overhaul. He told The Guardian: “The average process time for each [student visa] application is only eleven minutes.â€? This announcement was strongly denied by the Border and Immigration Minister Phil Woolas who said “The UK’s borders are stronger than ever before.â€? The Courier previously reported on bogus student checks not being efĂ€FLHQW HQRXJK DQG DV VXFK WKH LVVXH seems to be an ongoing problem. WR RWKHU ORFDO EXVLQHVVHV ([SHULence is not essential but the position demands results. Location: 1HZFDVWOH &LW\ &HQWUH Job Title: Weekend Promotions Assistant Employer: Mi-Shake Business: Milkshake retailer Closing date: None given Salary: 10: GHSHQGLQJ RQ DJH

Basic job description: Mi-Shake based on Northumberland Street is currently looking for a Permanent :HHNHQG 3URPRWLRQV $VVLVWDQW <RX ZLOO EH GUHVVLQJ XS LQ D JLDQW PLONVKDNH costume to market the outlet. Duties LQFOXGH À\HULQJ VSHDNLQJ WR PHPEHUV of the public, having your picture taken ZLWK WKHP DQG HQFRXUDJLQJ WKHP WR buy a product. The hours of the post DUH ÀH[LEOH DQG \RX ZLOO EH UHTXLUHG WR ZRUN ZHHNHQGV VWDUWLQJ LPPHGLDWHO\ Person requirements: <RX PXVW KDYH DQ RXWJRLQJ SHUVRQDOLW\ ZLWK ORWV RI enthusiasm. Location: Northumberland Street, City Centre, NE1 7DE

,Q Ă€YH GD\V KH GURYH PLOHV and travelled across eight different countries; all for the opportunity to study at Newcastle University. It might seem a great effort just to bag a spot at uni, but for Bulgarian mega Toon fan Yuri Boyanin, there was only ever going to be one place that would cut it. 2ULJLQDOO\ IURP 6RĂ€D LQ %XOJDULD the 3rd year History student now lives in Gateshead. But he still rePHPEHUV YLYLGO\ WKH Ă€UVW WLPH KH saw the home of the Magpies. Installed next to his dad and driver (Yuri Senior.), Boyanin passed through Serbia, Croatia and Slovenia all in one day, before stopping for the night on the Slovenian-Austrian border. From here the intrepid pair negotiated winding roads through the Alps into Salzburg, and then drove on into Switzerland before a labyrinth of misleading road signs forced the duo to abandon their scenic route and hit the motorway. Boyanin commented on his arrival: “After two days of non-stop rain across Europe, the weather was perfect, everything was green and warm. ´7KDW LV P\ Ă€UVW LPSUHVVLRQ RI Britain or the second one I supSRVH ² WKH Ă€UVW EHLQJ GULYLQJ RQ WKH “wrongâ€? side of the road!â€?

He drove 1,750 miles and travelled across eight different countries; all for the opportunity to study at Newcastle University He explained: “I was a big Newcastle United fan - that’s perhaps what made my decision to come KHUH WR VWXG\ Ă€QDOÂľ But why Britain? The enthusiastic young historian credits his travel agent parents with his love of exploration and interest in all things British. This fondness for Britain, he explains, is born out three particular characteristics; our national sense of individualism and difference from Europe and the rest of the world; our fun-loving and friendly nature; and our driving on the left. For the North East, Boyanin has even more praise: “The natural landscape is simply stunning; I particularly love the small villages with their small stone pubs, brilliant!â€? Though it is the Quayside that has really captured the heart of the traveller, with his dream spot beLQJ D Ă DW MXVW RSSRVLWH 0LOOHQQLXP Bridge. In fact the only bad word Boyanin has to say against the city LV DERXW LWV ODFNLQJ LQ Ă€VK DQG FKLS shops. So what are the brilliant Bulgarian’s plans for the future? “Well, I’m planning to hopefully do some sort of Area Studies - African or Chinese perhaps,â€? he revealed. “I don’t see myself working in Britain, Bulgaria or Europe though - it’s just too small, while the wide world is so exciting and offers many WHUULĂ€F RSSRUWXQLWLHV Âľ Having already visited 39 countries, it seems increasingly likely that Boyanin will have run out of new places to visit by the time he hits 25, but The Courier is sure that the Barmy Army will always have room for mighty Yuri, the Toon Traveller.

10

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

Is a meat tax the answer? Comment Editors: Caroline Argyropulo-Palmer and Nicholas Fidler - courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk

> Comment, Page 12

Darwin and God: a match made in heaven Tarren Smarr With 2009 drawing to a close, it is also the end of the so called “Year of Darwin.” Call me surprised, but I half expected to see way more controversy from the year, especially coming from religious groups who don’t agree with the ideas that Charles Darwin became famous for. In 1859, Darwin furthered the idea of evolution with compelling arguments in his book, ‘On the Origin RI 6SHFLHV· +LV VFLHQWLÀ F WKHRU\ included the process of natural selection, which scientists still use today. Everyone has heard about Darwin’s infamous trip to the Galapagos Islands and how observation and study of the animal life on

these islands provided evidentiary support to his clams.

The battle between evolution and creationism is epic. Science and religion have a history of being at each other’s throats. Galileo was imprisoned for advancing science However, like everything in life, WKHUH LV D Á LS VLGH WR 'DUZLQ·V DUJX ment of evolution, Creationism. For those of you who may not be religiously inclined, I will spare you the lecture and give you the Cliffs

Notes version. Creationism is the belief that humanity, life on Earth, and Earth itself were created by a supernatural being, aka God. It seems as though the cries of objection to the Year of Darwin were at a minimum this year. I half expected the churchgoing folk to be hanging signs across Church gates in complete protest of even the idea of celebrating an ideal that most religious people are taught doesn’t exist. Don’t get me wrong, I’m down with religion. Hey, I come from a Catholic family. My mum is Catholic, her parents are Catholic, I can trace it back generations. I went to Catholic school and yeah, went to religion classes every day for years. I had creationism impounded into

my head for as long as I can remember. But, and this is a big but, I can be okay with the idea of evolution. Actually, I support it. I know, you can’t believe it either. After years of Catholic schools in the United States, I was funnelled into the public school system. How I ended up there, another story for another day, but I can tell you, where in Catholic school I was taught Creationism, in public school I was taught evolution. You might be asking yourself: “how did this happen to such an innocent girl? Public schools are the GHYLO µ <RX ZRXOGQ·W EH WKH À UVW But learning both sides of the argument broadens one’s horizons and lets people make a choice for them-

selves as to which side of the argument they will support. The battle between evolution and creationism is epic. Science and religion have a history of being at each other’s throats. Look at Galileo, the poor bloke was imprisoned in his own house IRU PDNLQJ D VFLHQWLÀ F DGYDQFH ment that at the time shocked the world, but now is seen as common knowledge. The Year of Darwin, and lack of public outcry, should teach us that maybe, in the distant future, there is a possibility for science and religion will perhaps get along. I consider myself to be a DietCatholic, I may not always agree, but I can appreciate the other side.

21 years on, progress is hampered by prejudice Graeme Hill As the 21st World AIDS Day past us last Tuesday, the reality of the disease remains peripheral to many World Leaders, let alone ordinary citizens. It was 10 years ago last month that former South African President 7KDER 0EHNL À UVW VKHG OLJKW RQ KLV archaic HIV/AIDS policy, denying the viral cause of AIDS, and suggesting impenitently that vital HIV antiretroviral drugs were a “danger to health”. South Africa has the highest HIV prevalence in the world, according to a 2009 World Health Organisation report – approximately 5.7 million people are HIV-positive in South Africa, with the number of people living with the virus increasing. The gradual increase in HIV prevalence is directly linked to the increase in access to treatment, as life expectancy heightens. Yet it remains a regrettable fact that 1.4 million people died in SubSaharan Africa last year of AIDSrelated illnesses, 756 000 in South

Africa alone. President Jacob Zuma – six months into his South African premiership – KDV À QDOO\ ULVHQ IURP WKH VKDGRZV of Mbeki’s “era of denialism”, to deliver a comprehensive backing for HIV treatment and prevention. Speaking in a national address, President Zuma advocated the need for all South Africans “to know their HIV status, and be informed of the treatment options available to them” – the need for greater knowledge and understanding of the virus is reliant upon the openness and acceptance of HIV as a reality. A major incentive for this, it has been suggested, would be for South African celebrities, politicians – President Zuma himself – to take an HIV test, something his predecessor refused to do. In the drive to de-stigmatise a condition whose incidence is more treatable the earlier it is discovered, HIV status need no longer be a hindrance. Yet more needs to be done to ensure that HIV is not only prevented, but the incidence of AIDS-related deaths is reduced, citing the need

for universal access to treatment and support. One key area in the prevention of AIDS-related mortality is during the antenatal stage of HIV. The WHO has indicated that 29% of women in South Africa accessing public health

Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni is attempting to pass antihomosexual legislation which would call for the death penalty to any gay man with HIV status services test positive for the virus. As paediatrician Dr. Detlev Rogahn told The Courier: “Prevention of perinatal treatment is crucial in preventing paediatric AIDS”. If incidents of HIV in prenatal babies are recorded they can consequently be treated; antiretroviral medication and support can be given from the early stages of pregnan-

cy, considerably lowering the AIDSrelated mortality rate in children. The early diagnosis and subsequent treatment of HIV in South Africa has been shown to reduce AIDS-related infant mortality by 76%, according to the epidemic report. A step in the right direction towards universal access to treatment came from pharmaceutical giant GlaxoSmithKline this week. 7KH GUXJV À UP ODLG RXW LWV SODQV WR reduce the cost of some antiretroviral medicines by up to two-thirds in emerging economies. This would allow greater access to treatment, as costs drop and dePDQG LQFUHDVHV SURÀ W PDUJLQV FRQ tinue to grow for GSK, despite the fall in price. Yet many drugs are still on-patent and therefore remain unaffordable. Furthermore, GSK’s plans are aimed at the emerging markets of China, Brazil, Mexico and Turkey, to name a few. Sub-Saharan Africa is not included. Following the message of Newcastle University’s Stop AIDS Society Speaker Evening three weeks ago,

it remains imperative that 2nd line drugs become affordable and available to the people who need them most. The World AIDS Day’s emphasis RQ ¶+,9 5HDOLW\· LQ LV D À WWLQJ theme for a year in which HIV and AIDS policy continues to persecute and forget in the places where greater understanding is most urgent. Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni is attempting to pass anti-homosexual legislation which would call for the death penalty to any gay man with HIV status, to the horror of human rights groups operating in Uganda. As Frank Mugisha, chairman of Sexual Minorities Uganda coalition group, told The Guardian: “The bill is haunting us. If this passes we will have to leave the country”. The level of ignorance and hatred incited in this legislation is indeed haunting. It highlights not only the continuing persecution of homosexuals, but also the perpetuation of misleading HIV policy. It is an extreme example, but it remains an HIV reality.

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

11

COMMENT

Should Scotland be independent? E. BENTLEY

YES Nicholas Fidler Comment Editor Freedom: so says William Wallace in AD 1305 immediately prior to having his head cut off. And frankly, I agree with him. I love Scotland, I really do. From its unadultered landscape to its resonant sense of national and cultural identity, it has always been a favourite, and living this far north, something I feel a stronger association with than the south. In our supposedly enlightened times, global society loves national self-determination yet Westminster still calls the shots in both Wales and Scotland. Let’s get real; forget devolution; it’s nothing more than token lip service. What really matters in politics is IRUHLJQ GHIHQFH HFRQRPLF DQG ÀVcal policy making, and that’s what’s being denied to Holyrood as we speak. Despite the economic hurdles that Scottish independence poses, there can be no moral argument for our continued political dominance of their lands. What right do we, the English, have to subjugate Scottish matters beneath our own? We only retain sovereignty out of antiquated tradition. Just because we ruthlessly raided and pillaged their lands for long enough to convince them to join with England, we do not have the right to UHWDLQ WKLV FRQWURO LQGHÀQLWHO\ 6LPply perpetuating a practice out of tradition is not a useable argument. The proposals on the table extend only as far as political sovereignty, and not the reconstruction of Hadrian’s Wall or some similar extreme. Given the economic interdepend-

ency of the European Union, I don’t see how this would be a bad move. Elizabeth would remain the monarch, freedom of travel and residency retained, the pound sterling would still be the common currency and passports would not be requisite in travelling between countries. It would be socio-economic business as usual with the only difference being Scotland’s status as a sovereign nation. As Alex Salmond has rightly pointed out, the Scottish political landscape is not aligned with a Conservative ideal, and given the imminent change of government in Westminster, we shall be left with a Scotland seriously misrepresented. The logical step is to promote independence that allows Scotland and England to coexist as equals, rather than as superior and inferior. This is especially true given the prolonged economic downturn with the current arrangement tying one of Scotland’s hands behind its back and preventing it from enacting any meaningful policies. If the Scots do indeed wish to remain at the behest of a parliament located 400 miles away from their capital, so be it. But there can be no moral argument preventing at least a referendum on this issue, as the SNP is proposing. This is being slammed by both the Scottish Labour and LibDem (despite some dissenters favouring a referendum) parties, but this is nothing more than shameful selfinterest. Both enjoy a strengthened platform from their ties to the Westminster government and more mainstream English politics, which forms their anti-independence rationale.It’s not the fourteenth century anymore; we’re not going to be invaded by thousands of stacked up tartan-clad warriors the moment we give them their deserved autonomy, and it’s time Westminster realised this.

NO James Brown Twelve years ago Labour were swept to power on the promise of, amongst other things, a referendum on the issue of devolution of powers to the regions, particularly Scotland. I welcome devolution and I have no qualms with a Scot running the ZKROH RI WKH FRXQWU\ RU LWV ÀQDQFes. But it is frustrating when Alex Salmond insists that Scotland is ignored, needs to go it alone, and needs more powers from Westminster. Is a parliament that is more representative (with its PR voting system) than Westminster and more public funds spent per head than England not enough? Like most good ideas, the Conservatives opposed devolution, arguing that the unity of the United Kingdom was under threat. They were not right then, they are now. Alex Salmond argues for a referendum in Scotland on independence when all the polls show falling support for it. Devolution was meant to settle the feeling of under-representation once and for all. I think it did. The Scottish parliament has substantial powers in the areas of education, transport, policing and justice, the NHS and healthcare in Scotland, local services, infrastructure and local economic strategy. This is already enough for the Scottish parliament to deal with. MSPs do a fantastic job in representing their communities at the parliament in Edinburgh, they know them best and they can and do make the best local decisions. Taxation however is something

that affects the whole of Britain. I hate little-Englandism, but I equally hate unfairness. If Holyrood was able to control taxes, within 10p in the pound as some have suggested, do we really think the SNP-controlled Scottish government would seek to tax Scots more? No, they would use the powers they have to secure votes, as they did with support for scrapping university fees and prescription charges north of the border. Tax receipts per head and tax spent per head vary across the border. England may soon tire of subsidising Scotland if it thinks devolution is just a waste of money. Taxation is complicated enough, and politicians ill-trusted enough, without adding another layer of bureaucracy and decision-making at Holyrood. No discussion of extra powers or independence for Scotland can ignore the economic, diplomatic and FXOWXUDO EHQHÀWV 6FRWODQG GUDZV from being in the UK. It works both ways, and in a globalised world where nations act even more in blocs and the threat of WHUURULVP DQG ÀQDQFLDO FULVHV 6FRWland going it alone would be a disaster for its security and prosperity. The special attention paid to Scotland by having a Secretary of State in the cabinet, backed up by a department, is right and fair. There are a disproportionately high number of Scottish MPs at Westminster relative to population. In addition Scots have three votes: for their local councils, their parliament and the UK parliament. If this is about fair representation, let’s talk about fairness for England ÀUVW Alex Salmond would love to tear our island apart with a referendum, I say it is high time we thought carefully before allowing him to do so.

Make way for the digital high street Elliot Bentley The recent demise of Borders is a little upsetting, if only for sentimental reasons, but it is certainly not unexpected with the recent advent of the internet. Online shopping has come a long way in the last decade. There is no longer any mistrust by consumers as they put their precious credit card details into a foreign website, with Amazon.co.uk and Play.com becoming household names. The invention of technologies such as PayPal allows safe transactions anywhere on the internet. That said, few would have predicted the popularity of online shopping and how quickly it has replaced the real deal. Ask yourself: when was the last time you bothered to walk into a Waterstones, HMV or WHSmith to buy a book, CD or movie? Albums can cost up to £15 on the high street, but never cost more than a tenner online, while books are usually at least half price online. With such extortionate prices, why would someone bother to pay so much more for the exact same product? It’s no surprise that all of these high street brands have launched their own snazzy websites and digital shops that are aggressively promoted in-store; they know that the physical products they’re currently peddling will soon be out of demand. Apple’s phenomenal success with iTunes has proved there’s a huge market for digital onGHPDQG PXVLF ÀOPV DQG 79 downloaded instantly from the comfort of your own home. Of course, the counterpoint that always comes up in such arguments is that when it comes to clothes, seeing a garment onscreen is no match for trying it on for size in a shop. But, as pointed out by Alice Vincent in an article in The Courier a few weeks ago, when shopping for, say, vintage clothes, the range online just can’t be beaten. The shops that simply can’t be replaced by online equivalents are those that supply our everyday goods - food, toiletries, stationary. A week-long wait is no good when the fridge is bare and dinner needs cooking, and my own experiments with Ocado and the like have ended fairly badly. It’s far too easy to accidentally overlook the size of, say, a jar of Marmite and end up with a massive tub of the stuff arriving on your doorstep. So, if all of the above is true, why haven’t the big chains thrown in the towel already? The truth is that many have; Woolworths was WKH ÀUVW ELJ YLFWLP DQG %RUGHUV LV the second. But there is still a market - for now - among older generations not yet familiar with the internet and children not yet old enough to own a credit or debit card. Maintaining a presence on the high street is good for public perception, too. Beyond the loss of jobs on the high street, the rise of internet shopping is nothing but good for the consumer, providing greater choice and lower prices. We should celebrate the demise of Borders accordingly, as a symbol of its rapid success.

12

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

COMMENT

She loves meat, yeah yeah yeah Joshua Shrimpton Dean Last week, Sir Paul McCartney took a day out of his European tour and Ă HZ WR %UXVVHOV WR DGGUHVV D VSHFLDO hearing of the European Parliament where he proposed that we all partake in ‘Meat-Free Monday’. The former Beatle is seeking the backing of EU politicians to put their weight behind a campaign to reduce the amount of meat we eat. Sir Paul’s trip comes at a time when the ever-present issue of climate change is brought to the forefront of public attention as the Copenhagen Climate Summit gets underway this week.

Any tobacco or alcoholstyle tax could act as a deterrent to excessive meat consumption whilst providing funding to treat those who over-indulge ,V WKLV WKH ÀUVW VWHS WRZDUGV D PHDW tax? It certainly makes sense if you EHOLHYH WKH ÀJXUHV $ 81 )RRG DQG Agricultural Organisation report revealed that meat production is VLJQLÀFDQWO\ PRUH FRVWO\ DQG LQHIÀcient compared to crop farming. The report suggests that a staggering 20% of the world’s greenhouse gas emissions are thanks to the production of animal feed and methane emitted by livestock. To put this into perspective, the aviation industry accounts for just 1.6% of greenhouse gas emissions. Confusingly though, aviation tax continues to rise at an unacceptable rate. British Airways is rapidly heading towards the ground, shedding staff along the way, whilst the Government’s extortionate air taxes GHWHU HYHU PRUH SHRSOH IURP à \LQJ

Air travellers have become criminalised by the green lobby, shamed into keeping their feet on the ground. The reality is that one cow alone produces as much greenhouse gas LQ D \HDU DV D UHWXUQ Ă LJKW IURP /RQdon to New York. ,W LV GLIĂ€FXOW WR XQGHUVWDQG MXVW how meat has got away with it for so long. But Sir Paul’s trip to Brussels may just be the turning point at which a carnivorous diet ceases to be an animal rights debate and actually becomes socially unacceptable, fallLQJ Ă€UPO\ RQWR WKH HQYLURQPHQWDO agenda. Three things will happen. Firstly, meat-free food will be heavily marketed by supermarkets amongst a blaze of tired buzzwords including ‘carbon offsetting’, ‘sustainable sources’ and of course, the tiresome ‘green’. Secondly, once the supermarkets KDYH VXIĂ€FLHQWO\ VRIWHQHG SXEOLF opinion, the government will jump on the bandwagon and begin to impose heavy taxes. Lastly, meat eaters will become alienated. Diners gorging on a steak will receive disgusted looks not dissimilar to those directed at smokers in pub doorways in the wake of the smoking ban. 3URĂ€WV DW 0DFGRQDOG¡V ZLOO UDSLGly plummet as activist groups take over restaurants in the same way that Plane Stupid campaigners take over runways. But aside from any over-enthusiastic portrayals of fast-food meltdown, the call for a meat tax is a serious one. Even if you ignore the climate issues, it is not possible to dismiss the problem of obesity and heart disease. Any tobacco or alcohol-style tax could act as a deterrent to excessive meat consumption whilst providing

funding to treat those who overindulge. Surely though, this will just bring us back to the point where we are moaning about the interfering hand of the nanny state. The Government already tell us that we shall not binge-drink, we VKDOO QRW VPRNH ZH VKDOO QRW Ă \ DQG we shall not drive our cars. So is it really feasible to think that meat could possibly be treated the VDPH ZD\" *LYHQ WKH Ă€JXUHV LW seems long overdue. But in practice, it will be a daring government that tries to pull it off. Not just in the UK, but across Europe, we are truly a nation of meateaters. The UK consumes one million tonnes of beef each year. The consumption of meat is one of the most ancient and basic practices of the human race; imposing heavy taxation would seem to be a violation of this right that is a step to too far – and that comes from a vegetarian of eighteen years. However, we are a long way removed from the hunter-gatherers who took what they needed from the land. Today, 1kg of carbon dioxide is used to produce just one beef burger in a fast-food restaurant. Perhaps then, this an example of another ‘green’ campaign that may actually prove to be futile in the long-run; the global population of 6.8 billion is already suggested to be over 5 billion higher than the planet’s resources can reasonably sustain. World population is expected to reach 10 billion as most of us reading this near retirement. Sir Paul’s intentions are good, but he’s going to have to get a lot more people on board than middle-class Prius drivers and those with a fondness for a ‘bag for life’.

Commonwealth compensation Nile Amos In a move which some might see as developmental progress, and others might see as the puzzled results of SRVW FRORQLDOLVP 5ZDQGD ÀQDOO\ got its wish this week. Fifteen years after the worst genocide of postwar times, the Commonwealth has opened its arms in salute and a wink towards moving on, rejuvenation, and opportunity. Backed fully by Canada, Australia, India and Britain herself, Rwanda joins the club that still has the face of the Queen as their head honcho; the club that makes good out of what was once very, very bad. While the rosy cheeks of progress are all smiles and dimples, the nature of an accession such as this puts the Commonwealth in rather confusing position. There are many who hold reservations, and their reasons are extremely hard to ignore. So how GLG 5ZDQGD GHVSLWH ÀYH GHFDGHV of ethnic tension, become the 54th commonwealth nation? Rwanda has no historical ties to Britain, be it colonial or constitutional. Originally seized by Germany, the Belgians then occupied it, and gave rise to the subsequent HWKQLF WHQVLRQV WKDW KDYH LQà LFWHG D

tragically sinister mark upon modern history. In regarding the Tutsi ethnic tribe as superior over the Hutus, the Belgians instigated tribal struggle; fast forward half a century and all the agitation resulted in one of the swiftest episodes of ethnic cleansing after the Holocaust. Particular worries about letting Rwanda into the Commonwealth obviously surround its human rights record. The nature of the Rwandan genocide is something that carries particularly disturbing features; it wasn’t just military and government forces that carried out the killing. Ordinary people - civilians, neighbours - set upon their Tutsi co-habitants under the encouragement of malicious Hutu propaganda. The HIÀFLHQF\ RI WKH NLOOLQJ ZDV IULJKWening – 800,000 Tutsis and moderate Hutus in 100 days. The reason that Rwanda seeks acceptance from former British colonies is because relations with the Francophone countries broke down when Rwanda claimed that France and Belgium did not do enough to prevent the genocide and aid subsequent recovery from the shockwaves of it.

The Commonwealth is itself a rather strange organization. With no legislative constitution or charter, it has been dubbed as no more than a post-colonial members’ club. So why does it matter that Rwanda joins? Mainly because the Commonwealth strives to promote good governance, democracy, and human rights. Pointedly, Rwanda has continued the ethnic warfare with four invasions of the Democratic Republic of Congo since 1994 in retribution attacks. Reports detail a country in which democracy, freedom of speech, the press and human rights are undermined or violently abused, and in which courts fail to meet international standards. Rwandan Foreign Minister Rosemary Museminali wants the critics of the accession to remember that: “no country is 100 per cent perfect. Rwanda should be looked at in the context of where it’s come from.â€? The Commonwealth has taken the positive outlook, but has gambled on its own reputation with Rwanda. While there is plenty to be said towards helping Rwanda raise its proĂ€OH WKH &RPPRQZHDOWK PD\ ZHOO KDYH GHOLYHUHG LWV RZQ SURĂ€OH WR WKH human rights vultures.

In the gutter: presentations of the North East in the media are often unduly negative

It’s not so grim James Brown If any of you are brave enough to admit to watching the X Factor, (for some reason it seems to be a guilty pleasure; you can be intelligent and watch it, you know), you may have seen a fairly innocent-looking piece where the contestants go back to their respective homes, cameras and production teams in tow. This meant that local lad Joe, Cheryl’s “little northern star� as she is so fond of calling him, went home to South Shields. So far so good. So far so good until the camera shows him standing moodily in a terraced back alley strewn with broken washing machines and discarded mattresses a la Billy Elliot. Joe may well come from a street such as this, but is it not slightly unfair and offensive to continue to portray an image of the North East as a place blighted by poverty; hopeless,

where the only chance of escape is a singing competition, fame at any cost? Please. I am not only talking about X Factor here. Jeremy Clarkson recently said that Top Gear had been: “in Middlesbrough last week, and this week we are back in England.â€? The metro-centric media apparatus in London cannot claim any kind of legitimacy, still less to represent the whole nation, if it continues to offensively misrepresent the North East this way. Although I am not a North-Easterner, I have come to love this place in my four years here. , Ă€QG P\VHOI GHIHQGLQJ LW WR SHRple who make snide remarks, most of whom who have never even visited. People tell me that friends from home won’t even visit them, “because Newcastle is so far away from anything.â€? I have always found this

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

13

COMMENT C. HIGGINSON

Sky Sports Noose Paul Christian I bloody love Sky Sports News. Who’s with me? The airbrushed presenters, the razor sharp banter. Yep, Sky Sports News pushes my buttons. Yours? The bang-on depiction of fans, the spot on assumption that soccerball started in 1993. That’s right; SSN is the one for me. Jump on board you crazy funster. The quirky way I call it SSN, breaking news every breaking minute of every broken day. I tell ya, it hits the mark. I like it I do. And so do you. The end of the world theme music, the everlasting scandal, the everlasting application of the word ‘gate’ to the everlasting scandal. If only Gareth Southgate missed his penalty ten years later. That might be worthy. But SSN...great innit? Those presenters again. All Hollywood smiles and bronzed and lovely and full of facts we proudly tell our friends

then forget the next day. Rascals... the lot of them. Who’s your favourite? Mine’s the blonde one. Yeah, her. The head hurting headers, the mind-numbing footers, the thing up the side I don’t know the name of. Rainman would struggle to keep up. But it’s all relative and that’s what counts. Never forget that. We live in a self-serving bubble in which we’re not even aware we crave our next hit. From X Factor to ecstasy to SSN. 2XU EUDLQV DUH ÀGJHWLQJ H\HV squelching, loins tingling. We go to bed chewing the blanket. Then go on facebook and lick the screen. Hey...I wouldn’t have it any other way. Bloomin’ SSN. No one goes to watch Wigan. Seldom a soul at a County Cricket match. Plenty of room at the rugby Inn-ternationals (geddit...Chrimbo and all that). It’s because we’re all absorbed by the blonde one on SSN. Yeah, her. I, for one, think that’s swell.

Then that special day arrives. The be all and end all of life. The countdown to oblivion. And it comes twice a year like the Queen’s birthday. And it leaves twice a year like your ex after the pointless night when there was no one else. Transfer deadline day of course, silly. Those jokers on the desk start calling football managers piss-funny names like ‘Arry Houdini. The word ‘gate’ returns and is quickly applied to the latest saga, usually a player moving from one club to another. Shock horror that, during the transfer window. Then it ends, our lives feel empty, X Factor’s over, the internet’s broken, you’ve eaten your blanket. What next? You pass out, wake up, and Britain’s Got Talent is on. The next transfer window is only six months away. And the blonde presenter is angelically counting it down. Yeah, her. Sky Sports News is ace and I won’t hear otherwise.

Whose Christmas is it anyway? Fran Infante Deputy Editor Christmas isn’t about Jesus anymore is the common complaint, and, in a world where chocolate advent calendars and Coca Cola adverts signal the start of the festive season, they do have a point. But if Christ is no longer the cenWUDO Ă€JXUH RI KLV RZQ ELUWKGD\ SDUW\ who or more importantly what is? Can you celebrate Christmas without believing in Christ? Admittedly he’s a fairly major part of the title if nothing else. For some though it seems to make perfect sense, as the recently published handbook ‘An Atheist’s Guide to Christmas’ points out. Designed as comedic inspiration for those of a less deity driven persuasion at this most religiously rocky time of year, it offers advice from comedians, celebrities and writers on everything from sending cards to making your celebrations environmentally friendly, all while maintaining, obviously, that there is no God. If you take this as an indication, the movement of Atheism appears to be growing, if not in physical

numbers at least in it’s evangelical tract. Last year Ariane Sherine, who edited the guide, founded the Atheist Bus Campaign which then placed an advert on 800 UK buses saying ‘‘There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your lifeâ€? in an attempt to tear believers away from the torment of soul searching with which they are all apparently preoccupied. The book has received rave reviews across the world and is described as ‘uplifting’ and ‘heart-warming,’ but LV LW MXVW PH ZKR Ă€QGV WKH LGHD RI DQ ideological movement based on unbelieving a little bit hollow? Ok so you want to keep celebrating the 25th of December without any of that Goddy stuff. No Bethlehem, no EDE\ DQG GHĂ€QLWHO\ QR VHYHQ \HDU olds with tea towels on their heads. No problem. Let’s face it, the Christians are not the only ones to lay claims to some of winter’s most festive traditions. The Druids gave us trees that we drag indoors, with the resulting breakage of at least one stand and Dad wheeling out the handsaw to compel the unwilling ornament into its appropriate place in the sitting room. That surely is an age-old tra-

dition in itself. The Germans brought us Santa Klaus, to whom we write letters and leave out mince pies, and wehave the legend of Saint Nicholas to thank for our Christmas stockings. Even Rudolph has roots that have shockingly little to do with the biblical birth of Christ. So what is it that we are celebrating? Is it the festive amalgamation RI WKH EDE\ LQ WKH PDQJHU WKH Ă \LQJ reindeer, the big sock on the chimney breast and the Brussels sprout, as completely random as it seems? And if so, is it something from which we can cherry pick the elements that we like and don’t with an ‘oh I love carols, but mulled wine makes me feel a bit sick’ attitude? As with anything, the extent to which you celebrate Christmas and how is a question of extremes; there will always be one ridiculous house on the street decked out to the max with garish lights and waving snowmen, but maybe that is the beauty of the season, maybe it is that haphazard combination of elements, religious and non, that make it truly a universal holiday. Stop worrying and enjoy Christmas. R. MAIR

up North, like part of its appeal. While the South has swathes of beauty, they are expensive to visit and are increasingly being carparked over, not to mention the problem of overpopulation. Massive, unjust poverty also exists there too, partly because of the problems just mentioned. If anything, the North East is the real England: tolerant and traditional, where a real pint is still affordable, public transport still publiclyowned, countryside still unspoilt, where people are still polite and take time for each other. The North East has vast stunning countryside and a real distinction between town and country. It has a wonderful national parks, ancient castles and more unspoilt beaches than any other English region, World Heritage Sites, architecturally stunning cities that are well connected by plane and train to the

If anything the North East is the real England: tolerant and traditional, where a real pint is still affordable, public transport still publiclyowned rest of the country, not to mention world-class universities. Newcastle is the vibrant, historical and exciting heart of this region that has contributed so much to the nation. Local identity and culture is particularly strong here and the people widely renowned as the friendliest in the country. So let’s hear and see more about the positive side of the North East and avoid the lazy stereotypes that have blighted its image for so long.

14

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

COMMENT S. CHILDS

Morals, anyone? James Stubbs Columnist

Forget polars, what about us? Simon Childs “The grand myth of environmentalism is that it’s all about saving the Earth. It’s not. The Earth will be just Ă€ QH (QYLURQPHQWDOLVP LV DOO DERXW saving ourselves.â€? – James Cascio *HRUJH 0RQELRW The Guardian’s WUHH KXJJHU LQ FKLHI UHFHQWO\ ZURWH “there is no point in denying it: we’re losing. Climate change denial is spreading like a contagious disease.â€? And that was before the hacked emails from the Climate Research Unit at the University of East Anglia added more fuel to the cliPDWH FKDQJH GHQLHUV¡ Ă€ UH While climate change denial is ZRUU\LQJ HTXDOO\ SUREOHPDWLF LV the portrayal of climate change as DQ ÂśHQYLURQPHQWDO¡ LVVXH 2I FRXUVH climate change is an environmental LVVXH EXW SHRSOH IRUJHW WKDW WKH HQ vironment is what we live in. This is perfectly demonstrated by the latest video from anti aviation JURXS 3ODQH 6WXSLG 7KHLU QHZ YLG eo starts in silence in a city. As the sound of an aeroplane engine fades LQ SRODU EHDUV EHJLQ IDOOLQJ IURP WKH sky to their grizzly death as they are GDVKHG RQ WKH VN\VFUDSHUV FDUV DQG pavements. The video ends with the ZRUGV ´DQ DYHUDJH (XURSHDQ Ă LJKW produces over 400kg of greenhouse

gases per passenger...that’s the weight of an average polar bear.â€? :KLOH WKLV LV D SRZHUIXO LPDJH XV ing polar bears as your main arguPHQW IRU Ă€ JKWLQJ FOLPDWH FKDQJH KDV two main problems. )LUVWO\ LW¡V HDV\ IRU FOLPDWH FKDQJH sceptics to deny the fact that they’re G\LQJ RXW DW DOO EHFDXVH KRZ PDQ\ RI XV FDQ JR WR WKH $UFWLF DQG Ă€ QG out for ourselves? This is exactly what the Daily Mail’s reactionary QXWFDVH LQ FKLHI 0HODQLH 3KLOOLSV UHFHQWO\ GLG RQ 4XHVWLRQ 7LPH DV GLG WKH RQO\ VOLJKWO\ OHVV PDG 3HWHU Hitchens in his recent column for the same rag. 0RUH LPSRUWDQWO\ 3ODQH 6WXSLG¡V message will be blunted by the fact WKDW PDQ\ SHRSOH GRQ¡W JLYH D Ă \ LQJ DERXW SRODU EHDUV VR WKH\¡UH KDUGO\ OLNHO\ WR JLYH XS Ă \LQJ IRU them. 3RODU EHDUV KDYH EHFRPH WKH SRVW HU ER\V RU VKRXOG WKDW EH SRVWHU DQLPDOV IRU WKH Âś, GRQ¡W JLYH D GDPQ about climate change’ lobby. While climate change deniers are still a FRQFHUQ WKH\ DUH LQ WKH PLQRULW\ Most people have now been convinced that climate change is happening; the problem is that so many don’t see how it will affect them. Environmentalists rightly value biodiversity in and of itself. Most

Letters to the Editor Article failed to take parental concerns into account Dear Editor I recently read Alice Vincent’s article entitled ‘Cotton wool policies only protect adults’ in the 30/11/09 edition of The Courier. I was honestly quite shocked that someone at University level completely missed the point on some of the “bureaucracyâ€? issues on which she commented. 6LQFH WKH KRUULĂ€ F FDVH RI %DE\ 3 and the subsequent Safeguarding Children review there have been many changes which Miss Vincent may well consider “red-tapeâ€? and “suffocatingâ€? but at the end of the day they are there to protect our children. As a parent (which I can only assume Miss Vincent is not!) I am delighted that schools who offer bevHUDJHV WR $1< YLVLWRU ZLWKRXW Ă€ UVW obtaining I.D. are to be caught in the net of “bureaucracyâ€? and “red tape.â€? Miss Vincent refers to this issue as “petty.â€? The issue wasn’t about “a potential ofsted imposterâ€?; “who would want to be such a thing?â€? A paedophile or abductor maybe.

It was concerned with schools and care facilities being fully aware and responsible for anyone and everyone on their premises. Do paedophiles or abductors not drink tea or coffee? If a stranger was WR FDOO DW KHU KRPH ZRXOG VKH DVN them in and offer them a drink before asking who they were? I think not. Anymore than I would. Similarly I would not ever consider leaving my child alone in any establishment where walls were low enough for P\ FKLOG WR HVFDSH RU PRUH ZRUU\ ingly where just anyone could enter WKH SUHPLVHV XQGHWHFWHG As a parent you have a duty to educate your child and most of us choose to do so by sending them to school. I can tell you from experience it is one of the hardest decisions and most worrying times. <HV \RX ZDQW \RXU FKLOG WR DWWHQG a good achieving school so as he or she reaches their full potential butPRUH LPSRUWDQW WKDQ WKDW E\ IDU LV the fact that you choose somewhere ZKHUH WKH\ DUH VDIH KDSS\ DQG looked after. So given the choice between a top UDQNLQJ VFKRRO ZKLFK KDV ORZ ZDOOV an open door and fresh coffee brewing or an academically underachievLQJ ORFNHG KLJKO\ YLJLOHQW VFKRRO then I know which one I would pick.

people do not. They see polar bears dying and say “so what?â€? Worse VWLOO PDQ\ WKLQN WKDW ÂśJOREDO ZDUP ing’ will simply make things less chilly. If a few bears have to be sacULĂ€ FHG VR WKDW ZH GRQ¡W KDYH WR HQ dure runny noses and being able to VHH RXU EUHDWK VR EH LW The fact is that climate change will harm us humans just as much as cute Ă XII\ DQLPDOV ,W¡V SUREDEOH WKDW LW¡V already affecting us. Ask East Africans enduring a terrible drought right now. On the other end of the VFDOH DVN SHRSOH LQ &XPEULD ZKRVH KRPHV KDYH EHHQ UXLQHG E\ Ă RRGV “This doesn’t prove anything! 7KHUH KDYH DOZD\V EHHQ Ă RRGV There have always been droughts!â€? I hear the climate change sceptics cry. Of course I wouldn’t use a couple of extreme weather events to SURYH WKDW WKH FOLPDWH LV FKDQJLQJ even though so many sceptics seize upon one day of snow to rubbish the whole theory. %XW DV WKH FOLPDWH FKDQJHV WKHVH things are going to happen much PRUH IUHTXHQWO\ PDNLQJ SDUWV RI the globe uninhabitable and ruining livelihoods. $ PRUH LQĂ XHQWLDO ZLQJ RI FOLPDWH change I-don’t-give-a-damn-ism LV LQVWLWXWLRQV VXFK DV WKH ,0) WKH :RUOG %DQN DQG JOREDO FRUSRUDWLRQV

that have a vested interest in not caring about climate change. They are far more sinister than ordinary members of the public who are indifferent about global warming because of their (often wilful) igQRUDQFH ,0) DQG :RUOG %DQN NQRZ about the poverty and starvation that they are responsible for and say “so what?â€? A recent report by the World Development Movement and Jubilee Debt Campaign reveals how time after time these free-market fundamentalists have imposed conditions on loans to developing countries which devastate both humans and the environment. Exploitation of people and of the environment are two sides of the same coin for neoliberals- as long as WKH\¡UH PDNLQJ D WLG\ SURĂ€ W ERWK DUH Ă€ QH So while the outcomes of climate FKDQJH ZLOO GLUHFWO\ DIIHFW KXPDQV part of the cause of it is causing poverty right now. As world leaders meet in Copenhagen to smile for the cameras and ORRN OLNH WKH\¡UH GRLQJ VRPHWKLQJ it’s up to us who want to avoid the worst case scenario of runaway climate chaos to make sure that people know who the victims of climate change will be. Us.

Sending my child to school is one of the hardest things I do each day and it never gets any easier. I am relying completely on what are technically strangers who have good referHQFHV DQG FOHDU &5% FKHFNV ZKLFK lets face it simply means that they haven’t been caught doing anything untoward) to look after my most precious of things and return it to me at the end of the day unharmed in anyway. I am grateful for any “suffocating red tape� that keeps my child safe and may just one day put my mind at rest.

)XUWKHUPRUH , GRQ¡W IHHO WKH SHR ple selected so far have been a fair UHà HFWLRQ RI WKH WDOHQW RQ RIIHU DW this universty.

6$,5$ 52%(57621

Hottie of the Week allegedly photo shopped 'HDU (GLWRU I am writing to complain about the ‘Hottie of the Week’ section of The Courier. I have heard from an extremely credible source that you have photo shopped at least one of the ‘Hottie of the Week’. 7KLV KDV VXSULVHG PH D JUHDW GHDO as I feel there is enough attractive people at this University to warrant natural beauties to be included. %\ GRLQJ VR WKLV VHFWLRQ SDQGHUV WR the media’s false ideal of perfection.

ANON

Wait a minute Mr. Postman 'HDU (GLWRU I am writing to ask why Matthew Kilvington is constantly referred to as a postman in the Garnett Intra Mural football match reports. Is he actually a postman and if so ZRXOG LW EH SRVVLEOH WR À QG RXW where his round is because my mum sent me some cash last week and it still hasn’t arrived? Apparently he always delivers so he has my stamp of approval but any information he might be able to give me about the whereabouts of my missing money would be most welcome. I hope that he can deliver me some information just as well as he delivers quality crosses from the left wing. <RXUV 3 3$7

Emails in response to articles should be sent to the Editor at editor.union@ncl.ac.uk

We are all self-obsessed hideous monsters. $FFRUGLQJ WR 3KRHEH RII RI Friends anyway. Or was it Joey? For years I have enjoyed watching this sitcom for its simple FRPHG\ IRUPXOD VR VLPSOH LQ fact that after an episode you can safely forget everything you’ve seen in favour of not concentrating on watching the next one in WKH TXDGUXSOH ELOO WLWWHULQJ JXI fawing and grinning through to other mindless repeats on E4. I mention Friends because in all the time I’ve seen it the most interesting plot I can think RI FHUHEUDOO\ LV WKH RQH ZKHUH -RH\ 3KRHEH PDNHV WKH SRLQW that there is no act of human goodness that isn’t motivated by self-interest. The question he/she asks is a good one; think of the last nice thing you did for someone and WKHQ DVN \RXUVHOI KRZ LQYROYHG KRZHYHU VXEFRQVFLRXVO\ \RX yourself were in the decision to do it. It’s tough – one part of us will VD\ WKDW RI FRXUVH ZH MXVW GLG that little thing to make our IULHQGV KDSS\ WKRXJK DQRWKHU if you think harder will note that there is more to it than doing things for others just for the nicety of it. In my experience I am usually PRWLYDWHG WR GR VHOĂ HVV WKLQJV because it’s better than doing VHOĂ€ VK VWXII )RU H[DPSOH MXVW WKLV HYHQLQJ walking out of Tesco the man in front of me dropped his credit FDUG DQG LQ WKH VSLULW RI &KULVW mas I bent down and picked it up for him. He smiled at me and said thank you. What warmth! Well yes you cry but wouldn’t anyone have done that? Not so. I could very well have watched the poor fellow bend down then kicked it out of his hands before running off in to the night. Most would say that the former action is just a common courtesy. Yes it is but in doing so I made myself look like a good person. Was the warming feeling from his thanks simply from having GRQH D JRRG GHHG RU IURP IHHO ing some kind of pride in myself? A slightly different example: the other day I was casting about for some change in my pocket to JHW RQ WKH PHWUR DQG UDWKHU WKDQ buying something irrelevant from a corner shop to break my note I spotted a man selling The %LJ ,VVXH DQG DSSURDFKHG KLP instead. Two birds with one stone; not only did I now have change but I had done him a service by buying the magazine. I had something to read on WKH WUDLQ WRR WKDW¡V WKUHH ELUGV Amazing. An added bonus is that people can see you reading it or poking out of your bag. What a guy! I’m very aware that I sound like DQ LGLRW EXW , DP H[DJJHUDWLQJ slightly. Ironically I can’t remember the FRQFOXVLRQ RXU )ULHQGV DUULYH DW though what it boils down to I think is that there is very rarely DQ XQVHOĂ€ VK DFW EXW LQ WKH HQG doing something nice for someRQH HOVH RXWZHLJKV WKH VHOĂ€ VK ness in it. Aaah.

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

15

All I want for Christmas is you > Sex & Relationships, page 18 Life & Style Editors: Larisa Brown, Alex Felton and Ashley Fryer - courier.life@ncl.ac.uk

Health & Beauty

Having trouble sleeping? Megan Sadler 1. As deadlines loom and longer hours are spent in the library, dry shampoo is a must to refresh hair at the end of its cycle. 2. Green tea, a good way to detox and make your insides feel clean and once brewed place the teabags on your eyelids for maximum reOD[DWLRQ OHDYH WR FRRO 3. Lip balm must become a sixth À QJHU LQ WKH &KULVWPDV SHULRG QR ones likes chapped lips. 4. Vitamin E tablets taken daily ensure you stay well away from coughs and colds, also capsule tablets burst open, doubling up as a nourishing hand moisturizer. &DVSHU LV D JKRVW XVH D PRLVWXU izer with a hint to fake tan, keeps a healthy glow. It’s better to build snowman than look like one. Kat Bishop Insomnia is a growing problem in today’s high-pressured, fastpaced society. As exhaustion rapidly sweeps through the developed world, fatigue is fast becoming the KLGGHQ HSLGHPLF RI WKH WZHQW\ À UVW century. A catalyst for a life of destruction, insomnia is highly damaging. Increasingly, negative stigmas, such as abnormality, weakness and shame, can be associated with disturbed or limited sleep. Fear and exasperation are also inextricably linked to the condition. To admit you’re unable to sleep is frightenLQJ 6XUHO\ WKH À UVW VWHS WRZDUGV D cure is to admit you suffer from the condition? Not with insomnia. Denial is rife, rational thinking is compromised and fear can be instilled in the hardiest of sufferers. To tell someone you can’t sleep is initiating defeat. To admit insomnia is to prolong insomnia. Well, that’s how it feels to insomniacs. A common stereotype associated with insomnia is that sufferers are weak, emotionally unhinged, or women. These are incorrect assump-

tions. Insomnia can affect males and females of any age, at any time. Sleep deprivation is draining and emotionally challenging for anyone, regardless of gender or mental strength. It blurs our perceptions, suppresses our immune system, and affects our coping mechanisms. Tackling the problem of insomnia head on is far more productive than sinking into denial. The quicker we stop seeing insomnia as a sign of emotional weakness, the better. Identifying the causes of insomQLD LV WKH À UVW VWHS WRZDUGV D VROX tion. Most adults have experienced insomnia or sleeplessness at some time in their lives. An estimated 30%-50% of the general population are affected by poor sleep, a further 10% suffering from chronic insomnia. Hectic schedules, pressure, worry, guilt... the cause of insomnia varies from sufferer to sufferer. In the student population, a common cause of insomnia is stress. Stress and sleeplessness are part of the same vicious cycle. High stress levels cause the body to release the hormones adrenaline and cortisol,

which stimulate the parts of the EUDLQ PDNLQJ LW GLIĂ€ FXOW WR ÂśVZLWFK off’. ,Q 3DXO 0DUWLQ¡V ERRN Âś&RXQWLQJ Sheep: The Science and Pleasures of Sleep,’ we are told that one sleepless night depresses the number of white blood cells in our bodies by 28%. Losing sleep also reduces the body’s production of a substance called interleukin-2, a chemical messenger that keeps our immune system in shape. Think that’s bad? One night’s sleep loss can raise cortisol levels in the body by 45%, causing immunosuppression. Identifying the cause of your stress is a good starting point to improving your sleep. Lying in bed, unable to sleep, can be greatly distressing. Try not to worry about being unDEOH WR VOHHS &RXQWLQJ WKH PLQXWHV as you lie awake sends your blood pressure sky high. Turn this time into a positive experience by breathing deeply; meditate, imagine your perfect holiday on a beach with a warm sun beating down... just embrace the peace and quiet! &XWWLQJ GRZQ \RXU ZRUNLQJ KRXUV and increasing your leisure time, will help to combat poor sleep. Ex-

ercise is essential. A healthy body will help form a healthy mind. Just half an hour of hard exercise every day will physically tire you and help you to switch off at night. Stimulating your brain before bedtime is counter-productive. Removing distractions will reduce poor sleep. Try putting your clock out of reach and facing away from you. Removing your TV and switching off your mobile also helps. Reducing booze, caffeine and sugar intake will also alleviate restlessness. Drinking too much alcohol and getting too little sleep is a cocktail with a bitter aftertaste. Simple changes in your routine and diet are well within reach, and are an important step to combating limited sleep. Insomnia is not a problem that corrects itself. The best advice? Talk to someone. It doesn’t have to be a counsellor; it doesn’t have to be a doctor. It can be a friend, a member of your family, someone you trust. Removing debilitating stigmas will allow sufferers to openly approach the condition, without feeling like their pride is crushed, or their reputation is compromised.

+LJK EHDP WR JLYH \RXU VNLQ a natural glow, when the stress of Xmas shopping may have removed it. 7. To get rid of rough winter skin, a good body scrub and a scrub mit will help recover your skin. 8. When the cold wet weather puts you off exercise, do not attempt to go running in the cold, stay inside DQG GR <RJD RU 3LODWHV 9. Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream, a godsend to stop chapped skin in miserable winter conditions. 10. Winter walks are a good way to exercise, get some fresh air and walk off that extra mince pie.

Inside today >>>

Review of Theatre Royal’s Cinderella Culture, page 26

How to... make your very own homemade face mask Olivia-Maria Viveiros Winter is upon us, and the battle with troublesome skin has begun. Long gone are the days you were sat on the beach drinking cocktails with your sexy glowing skin, looking like a bronzed goddess! But not all hope is lost yet! Face masks can be a great solution to your skin problems. Not only are they cheap and effective, but why waste money on salon beauty treat-

ments that probably won’t work?! Homemade face masks work just as well as any on the high street. They are also made from 100% natural ingredients and are less likely to cause an allergic reaction for those of you who have sensitive skin. So here a few easy steps to make your very own face mask: Oily skin Ingredients: ‡ EDQDQD SUHIHUDEO\ ULSH

‡ WEVS KRQH\ ‡ $ VPDOO RUDQJH RU OHPRQ <RX may also use lemon juice) Preparation: Mash the banana and honey together into a smooth paste. Add a tsp of lemon/orange juice into the mixture. Apply to face for 15 minutes before rinsing with a cool or steaming warm washcloth. Dry skin Ingredients:

‡ WVS SRZGHUHG PLON ‡ WEVS UXQQ\ KRQH\ ‡ WVS DORH YHUD JHO ‡ GURSV HVVHQWLDO RLO Preparation: Put all ingredients into a bowl and PL[ LQWR D À QH SXOS $SSO\ WR IDFH and leave for 15 minutes then rinse with cold water. Combination skin Ingredients: ‡ 2SWLRQDO IUHVK URVH SHWDOV

‡ WEVSV URVHZDWHU ‡ WEVS QDWXUDO \RJXUW QRW ORZ IDW or fat-free) left at room temperature. ‡ WEVS UXQQ\ KRQH\ WR JHW KRQH\ runny, you can warm it in a microwave for a few seconds). Preparation: Soak rose petals, then crush them in a bowl. Add the rosewater, yogurt and honey. Mix well and apply to the skin. Leave on for 10 minutes. Rinse.

16

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

LIFE & STYLE

Fashion

Fashion Purple playsuit, £40, Topshop Necklace, stylist’s own

Gold sequin dress, £35, New Look

Squirrel riding a motorbike

What’s Hot...What’s Not...

David Leslie

Megan Sadler

Hot

Not hot

Warm, oversize chunky knits, fairisle and the Xmas jumper your granny knitted you last Xmas Feathers, fur, sequins and opulence - ‘Tis the season to sparkle

‘Tis the season to accessorize: mittens, earmuffs and the all-important snood Knee-high boots; think classic Dick Whittington, not Canal Street chic Barbour. Enough said

Two malcoordinated 18-year-old boys dressing the same. ‘Jedward’, a novelty on X-factor; must they tour the country turning on Xmas lights? Dressing for June. The cloakroom fare is not an excuse to wear next to nothing in arctic temperatures

Walking home in his clothes. Just because you are wearing his rugby shirt and sporting his Canterburys does not excuse the heels in your hand Christmas earrings. Pat Butcher, behave

Brat and Suzie is a new British label that features unique and quirky animal illustrations on T-shirts and vests. The team, comprising of designer Polly Vickery and illustrator Louise Boulter, looks to attract smart, funloving girls who have an eye for fashion and are looking for something unique. Their main collection of original animal print tops is eccentric, idiosyncratic and quintessentially British. To this date they have been featured in Topshop, ELLE, Time Out, The Metro, Drapers and The London Paper. The current women’s line comprises of 26 t-shirts and vests, each printed with an original animal design. There is also a line of men’s t-shirts and canvas bags. The illustrations are the USP of the company with the whimsical animal-related tales being the heart of the collection. The prints are detailed and edgy, giving the Brat and Suzie customer a chance to create a fresh and vibrant look. Their current best-seller is the ‘Malange Meerkat’; the beautifully illustrated character further proving the never-ending success of ‘Compare the Meerket’. Other best-sellers include the artistic ‘Monkey’ and the surreal ‘motor squirrel vest’. Brat and Suzie will be featuring at this year’s Clothes Show Live at the

NEC in Birmingham from the 4th-9th of December where they will be launching some brand new designs and offering great discounts for all visitors. As well as offering discounts at the clothes show, Brat and Suzie reward their viral followers with discounts on their Twitter page (Bratandsuzie). 2Q WKH KLJK VWUHHW \RX FDQ À QG them in Fenwick’s, Northumberland Street, or at a variety of other stockists UK-wide. For further information and their online store visit them at www.bratandsuzie.com.

COMPETITION You can win one of three fabulous Brat and Suzie t-shirts if you can answer this question: Who designs the t-shirts? Email answers to courier.life@ncl. ac.uk by Friday 11 December

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

17

Fashion

LIFE & STYLE

Festive glamour and glitz %DW ZLQJ GUHVV Â… 0RQVRRQ

%ODFN KDUHP SDQWV Â… + 0 6LOYHU VHTXLQ MDFNHW Â… + 0

3URP 'UHVV Â… + 0 )XU FROODU Â… + 0

Styling by Addy Pope, Claire Hall and Millicent Simon; Make- up by Fiona Brunt; Models - Grace Smedley, Marissa Mcgarry and Kate Short

)ORUHQFH DQG 3HDUO à RXULVKLQJ DQG IDEXORXV Katherine Bannon They say every cloud has a silver lining, but for Gabby Edlin, third year combined studies English Literature, Fine Art and History of Art student, it was more literally metallic than most. She’d planned to while away three weeks of her summer in Spain, but after having only experienced a week in Madrid she was forced to make a painfully premature departure from Benicassim festival. After all, there’s sticking your head down a hotel toilet and there’s throwing up in a portaloo. Driven by bitterness, and a severely depressed bank balance, she decided to opt for a more productive way to spend her time than watching Friends reruns – making jewellery. Always laying claim to an artistic à DLU VWULQJLQJ WRJHWKHU EHDGV ZDV something she’d indulged in at school, but it was this summer that it began to adopt a scale above and

beyond the friendship bracelet variety. To the exasperation of her mother, she quickly transformed her living room into a thriving workshop for an assortment of accessories. An incessant hoarder of the magpie mentality, she’d already begun to acquire a collection of charms and chains during her youth, making particular progress during her gap year in Israel. It was only when a friend of one of her younger sisters asked if she could buy a piece that she began to realise the potential this boredombusting heist had. Her collection soon began to feature on vilovintage.com, a vintage fashion website established by another friend of her sister’s, on which all her pieces have long been snapped up. 6KH FKULVWHQHG KHU Ă RXULVKLQJ trade ‘Florence & Pearl’, a tribute to her grandmother and her great auntie, both timelessly stylish ladies. ‘I shared a close relationship with my grandmother; she encour-

aged me to look smart and elegant when I was younger – less scruffy too!’ Meanwhile Florence’s tapestry making and painting abilities make the origin of Gabby’s creative streak no great mystery. Her motto is simple – cheap yet unique. Her adoration for the dainty, quirky, delicate pieces boasted by fashion chains such as Topshop DQG 8UEDQ 2XWĂ€WWHUV \HW QRW WKH anti-credit crunching prices, is her main focus of inspiration. Think miniature china teapots and matching cups, Carebears and aniPDO Ă€JXULQHV Charity shops are classic favourites for the discovery of quaint and unusual pieces, as well as one-off vintage boutiques. It’s all about the growth of the little people. Gabby’s Facebook page, ‘Florence and Pearl Jewellery,’ displays a range of her collection as well as information on her upcoming retailing endeavours. During this term she has held two jewellery parties at her student home in Heaton, deliv-

ering a shamelessly sweet blend of shiny, pretty ornaments, wine and adorable iced cup cakes, with attendance reaching the forties. Prices range from ten pounds for necklaces, two to six for earrings and up to D Ă€YHU IRU D KDLUEDQG <RX FDQ DOVR purchase what are fast becoming her statement pieces; silver and gold bangles with charm for a mere three SRXQGV D SRS RU WZR IRU D Ă€YHU %XW it’s not just for the ladies. Those of the male variety are welcome to embrace the gushingly girly exhibition, and have been found to purchase the more masculine mini bottle topped charmed bangles as well as gifts for girlfriends and sisters. Her fairytale pink and white Christmas gift boxes are already proving popular, whilst she is also receiving gift wrapping help from a 'LDQD .D\ Ă RULVW D QDPH \RX PLJKW recognise from Northumberland Street’s Fenwick’s. ‘The response I have found is totally unexpected,’ she said. Although her mum always seemed pretty im-

pressed (despite her seizure of the living room) she automatically assumed that was due to her unbreakable maternity contract. Since returning to Newcastle she has continued to extend her retailing horizons, featuring in the Robbie Anderson Cancer Trust Fashion Show hosted at Linekars, as well as the ‘Make and Mend’ fair at the Star and Shadow Cinema. News is even spreading across the English Channel, as her collection is currently under viewing from Laura Parks, owner of quirky British boutique ‘Precursor’ in Paris. However she still has more on her to-do list, ‘I’m planning to pursue a training course in silver so I’ll be able to make my own charms, and I’m also hoping to move on to more permanent pieces to make ideal gifts for special birthdays and occasions.’ With Christmas just around the corner this could be the perfect way to earn some serious brownie points. Not that you need another excuse to go on Facebook.

18

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

LIFE & STYLE

Sex & Relationships

Sex & Relationships Sex and the Univer-sity Vanessa Costello Columnist

, Ă€ QLVKHG RII P\ ODVW FROXPQ ZLWK two questions... How long do people take to get over someone? And how does this even happen? As I closely watched another Carrie and co. episode with my pen poised at the ready to note down KHU ZLVH ZRUGV , VXGGHQO\ UH membered those sorry questions. 6R WKDW ZDV P\ QH[W FROXPQ WRSLF GHFLGHG IRU PH DOO WKDW ZDV left to do was get onto the trusty female friends and housemates for their thoughts and opinions. How long do people take to get over VRPHRQH WUXO\ DQG GR ZH HYHU really get over them at all? Charlotte states that it takes half the amount of time you went out with someone to fully get over WKHP DQG , WKLQN WKDW DOO LQ DOO WKDW VRXQGV DERXW ULJKW +RZHYHU WKLV does not mean that you will be crying at every photo you see of you and him/her for a year and a half afterwards. It certainly does not mean that you should not venture into pasWXUHV QHZ EXW WR ORVH DOO IHHOLQJV of romantic love towards someone can take a long time and it is often not a simple process. Can you really hope to love someone new when (even if you might not want to admit it) you’re still in love with your ex? Miranda says that Carrie should just ‘get back in the game’ after breaking up with Big but is this really the best advice? It is easy to get into what is commonly called a ‘rebound’ relationship and whilst you PD\ WKLQN WKLV WKH SHUIHFW VROXWLRQ male attention and looks of hopeless jealousy from your ex won’t be as satisfying as you think. What’s really happening is not ÂśSHUIHFW¡ DW DOO \RX¡UH GHQ\LQJ yourself the necessity of taking the time to be single and getting to NQRZ ZKR \RX DUH DJDLQ RQ \RXU RZQ ZLWKRXW DQ ÂśRWKHU KDOI ¡ I’m not saying that the only way to get over an ex is the slow and painful way but crying and bitching to your friends (and replaying everything you hated about your ex in your head) can be extremely therapeutic. I guess the real answer is that everyone is different and every UHODWLRQVKLS GLIIHUV VR KRZ ORQJ it takes you to get over someone can simply depend on how intense your relationship was and just how truly in love you were with that person. How you get over them is up to \RX MXPSLQJ LQWR D QHZ UHODWLRQ ship straight away is not recommended but if that’s what works EHVW IRU \RX ZKR DP , WR MXGJH" 3HUVRQDOO\ , VXJJHVW SOHQW\ RI QLJKWV LQ ZLWK D JRRG Ă€ OP FKRFR late and your closest friends and plenty of nights out with a little bit RI DOFRKRO D QHZ RXWĂ€ W DQG D QHZ you. :K\ QRW JR RXW HPEUDFH EHLQJ single and just have fun? Forget about that annoying relationship HVVHQWLDO ÂśFRPSURPLVH¡ LW¡V DOO about you now and that can be just DV IXOĂ€ OOLQJ LI QRW PRUH VR

Baby it’s cold outside: singledom at Christmas Alex Felton Life & Style Editor Northumberland Street’s Christmas lights have signalled the beginning of the run up to the big day itself. The pressures and stresses that surround the period are now encircling us all: the roads are going to EH EXV\ GXH WR WKH KROLGD\ WUDIÀ F weather conditions will once again wreak havoc across the country and we will undoubtedly be inundated ZLWK SUH &KULVWPDV WHOHYLVLRQ LQ cluding that cheeky Coca-Cola Santa making an appearance. I am starting to prepare myself for the inevitable welcome home questions that always greet me on P\ UHWXUQ WKH VR FDOOHG ELJ WKUHH How’s University? Good. How are the friends? Good. Girlfriend? Cue tumbleweed. For some unknown reason Christ-

mas adds a pressure onto us all to couple up and throw the single title away and get hooked up. It’s just another date in the calHQGDU SHRSOH +HOO -DSDQ GRHVQ¡W even have the day off work. 3RSXODU FXOWXUH ZDQWV XV WR Ă€ QG a lover over Christmas and tells soFLHW\ WR JHW LQYROYHG DQG Ă€ QG RXU VHOYHV D <LQJ WR RXU <DQJ D -D\ = WR RXU %H\RQFH RU LQGHHG D 7LJHU :RRGV WR RXU Ă€ UH K\GUDQW &KULVWPDV Ă€ OPV DUH DOZD\V WKH Ă€ UVW WR UHPLQG XV WKDW WKH RWKHU VLGH of the bed is going to be empty and cold over the holiday season. Bloody Richard Curtis and his “feel-goodâ€? drivel like Love Actually tend to highlight the fact that no-one wants you. 8OWLPDWHO\ WKLV LV VLQJOHGRP QR matter how much you want to gloss it up and apply a veneer of fun and carefree living.

$OWKRXJK WKLV VHHPV D OLWWOH EOHDN we all get a funny feeling in the month of December. There is a sense of excitement that pushes through the consumerism of the holiday and romance seems to develop out of the most unlikely sources. The month itself is pretty horrible ZHDWKHU ZLVH EXW WKH SDUW\ VHDVRQ adds fuel to the renewed sense of general horniness. Couples will always remain toJHWKHU IRU WKH KROLGD\ SHULRG ODUJH O\ IRU NHHSLQJ XS DSSHDUDQFHV DQG then the New Year has the largest LQFUHDVH LQ WKH GLYRUFH UDWH DFFRUG ing to the UK National Statistics. Why is it always the same each year? A combination of those twinkling lights and scenes with Kate Winslet on the box heightens our sense of longing and realisation that we don’t want to be alone.

1RW RQO\ LQ WKH ZRUOG RI À OP EXW television jumps on the bandwagon at this time of year as well. Every Christmas special on the box has to have a romantic twist: Dawn DQG 7LP LQ 7KH 2IÀ FH 9LFDU RI 'L EOH\ :HGGLQJV VFULSW ZULWHUV MXVW can’t get enough of imposing faux romance on this holiday. No-one cares about the other vaFDWLRQV 7U\ DQG À QG VRPHRQH ZKR will get excited about Easter or inGHHG $XJXVW %DQN +ROLGD\ <HS QRW VR PXFK 6R JHW LQYROYHG WKLV Christmas and embrace society telling us all to get together. -XVW UHPHPEHU -DQXDU\ LV DOZD\V pretty bleak so jump on the sleigh DQG À QG D VSHFLDO VRPHRQH All the reindeers come in pairs (with the exception of Rudolph who has always been a bit of a black sheep) and so it looks like we will all have to as well.

Urban myth: does size really matter? Jessica Gibson 7KH FRPPRQ TXHVWLRQ RU LV LW WKH common conundrum – does penis size really matter? Let’s start with the average male penis size. A non-erect penis usually measures between three and four inches from tip to base. Surprised? It’s most probably pornography or cocky banter which has led you to believe otherwise. 9LUWXDOO\ HYHU\ PDQ IRUJHWV WKDW it doesn't matter how long or how

VKRUW \RXU SHQLV LV WKH YDJLQD ZLOO accommodate itself to any length. The vagina of a woman is three inches long when she's not aroused. (YHQ ZKHQ DURXVHG D ZRPDQ V YD gina usually extends only to a length of about four inches. This means almost any man's peQLV ZLOO À OO KHU YDJLQD FRPSOHWHO\ You're probably now wondering how the average man with an erection of six inches manages to insert his penis into the vagina at all. A larger penis may score serious

ODG SRLQWV RU KHOS LQ WKH SXOOLQJ GH SDUWPHQW EXW ZKHQ LW FRPHV GRZQ WR WKH EXPS DQG JULQG D ELJJHU model can often be a setback. ,OO Ă€ WWLQJ FRQGRPV DQG SDLQIXO sex come with the territory of being ‘well hung’. The mechanics of sex itself have proven that penises with girth (i.e. with a thicker shaft) are more pleasurable over penises with length. Girth causes more stretching of the vaginal walls near the entrance to the vagina.

This area is home to most of the nerve-endings that need to be stimulated to produce sexual pleasure. A thicker penis is able to stimulate PRUH RI WKHVH QHUYH HQGLQJV DQG VR is an advantage during sex. :KDW¡V PRUH SHQLV VL]H LV LUUHOH vant when it comes to bringing a girl WR RUJDVP DV DOPRVW DOO RI ZRPHQ¡V orgasms are through stimulation of the clitoris. So there you have it. It’s not the VL]H WKDW PDWWHUV LW¡V KRZ \RX XVH it!

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

19

Sex & Relationships

LIFE & STYLE

L. BROWN

Ask SeĂąora Rosa SeĂąora 5RVD LV EDFN IURP KHU JROĂ€ QJ ZHHN LQ )ORULGD WR OHQG DQ HDU WR DOO \RXU concerns. )LQG KHU RQ )DFHERRN RU HPDLO KHU DW courier.life@ncl.ac.uk SeĂąora,

SeĂąora,

SeĂąora,

SeĂąora,

SeĂąora,

I’m really concerned about my breasts and my general chest area. I have recently developed a concentrated amount of hair surrounding my nipples. I don’t like to be naked in front of my boyfriend anymore as I’m worried he will think there is something wrong with me. Can I get them waxed or will this just PDNH WKLQJV ZRUVH"

Me and my boyfriend decided to VSLFH XS RXU VH[ OLIH E\ À OPLQJ XV having sex. Unfortunately, since then, we have lost the tape! As it was his parents’ video camera, we are assuming that they have it! Should we ask for it back in the hope that they haven’t watched it or should we forget about it forHYHU"

What about a good old-fashioned pair of tweezers? Unless there’s an Amazonian forest sitting on your chest, this should be the most painfree, least embarrassing mode of removal. I’m not sure waxing salons even offer waxing of the nipplage variety. To be honest though, this really is a pretty minor problem, and if your boyfriend loves you for who you are, he won’t think anything of it. He’ll probably love it – your boobs will become his ‘furry little pets,’ and will get far more attention than before! Think of all the hours of grooming and caressing you two can have together! If you’re still feeling self-conscious though, then why not invest in some nipple tasVHOV" 7KLV ZD\ \RX ZRQ¡W KDYH WR bear your bush to your man, and you’ll probably get some kinky light relief in return! Now everyone’s a winner.

Neither! If you try to forget about it, the knowledge that ‘that tape’ is out there will haunt you forever. And what if it eventually resurfaces? In later years it could slip out during someone’s speech at your 21st‌ maybe during your wedding‌your NLGV FRXOG Ă€ QG LW DQG FXULRXVO\ wonder why Mummy and Daddy are behaving like their pet bunnies‌ okay, maybe a little far, but the principal remains the same. What I propose is for you two to come up with an elaborate rescue mission. Seeing as your relationship needs a bit of excitement, why not think of yourselves as James Bond and his Bond Girl on a top secret mission – Operation Find That Tape! If needs be, inject some authenticity into it and dress for the parts – having his own real-life Bond Girl will undoubtedly drive your boyfriend wild‌ Good luck!

I am getting really frustrated with my love life. I have been single for three whole years now, with barely a blip of interest on my radar. I consider myself to be a moderately attractive girl and a pretty decent SHUVRQ VR ZK\ WKH GURXJKW" I just don’t understand how it is possible for me to have stayed single for my whole time at uni! And it’s not like I have been sleeping around either - my love life just seems to be literally dead. Help!

My girlfriend and I were discussing the Carling Cup, and she knew that it wasn’t possible for each tie to JR WR D UHSOD\ LQ WKH )$ &XS WKH\ do). I didn’t know this and I think as a common man who knows a considerable amount about football, it is an assault on my masculinity and my credibility amongst fellow gents that she should have access to this kind of knowledge. At the risk of sounding very patronising and chauvinistic, I’d be far more at ease if she were out with her friends trying on shoes. P.S. I am all for women’s rights!

I met an attractive Estonian girl in Holland last year and I haven’t been able to erase her from my PLQG $W Ă€ UVW P\ PRGHVW DGYDQFHV achieved notable success; we sung a beautiful duet of ‘My Heart Will Go On’ on the ferry. However, I became concerned that her interest was more due to her desire to obtain a British passport rather than the love of a good man. My heart was crushed by the thought that she wanted my nationality, not my love. SeĂąora Rosa, how do I apSURDFK WKLV Ă€ QH IRUHLJQ EHDXW\"

My child, what is your rush? You are what, 20? 21? You have all the WLPH LQ WKH ZRUOG WR À QG D GHFHQW man to settle down with. There really is no hurry - you are better off WDNLQJ \RXU WLPH DQG À QGLQJ WKH right man than dating a bunch of losers who aren’t right for you. On the other hand, this is clearly affecting your self esteem. In this case, I would say the old female mantra: you do not need a man to complete you. And I mean it, you really don’t. Now is the time to have fun - go out with your girlfriends, ask boys out if you like them - just take things lightly and with a pinch of salt. And if you are feeling lonely, invest in a body pillow - you can snuggle up to one at night and you won’t feel nearly so alone!

This is the most ridiculous ‘problem’ ever! Most blokes I know would think they’d won the lottery if their lady turned out to know more about football than they did!! Why shouldn’t she have ‘access to this kind of knowledge?’ Just because she doesn’t have a penis, it doesn’t mean she’s not allowed to take an interest in football - this is perfectly as valid an interest for her as shopping! The only problem that I think we have here is your unstable masculinity – you’re clearly not comfortable with yourself if you see your own girlfriend as a threat. I think that you should grow up and show your girl some respect and enjoy this common ground that you obviously share.

Do not ask her directly – her intentions could be perfectly innocent and thus a direct accusation would be hugely offensive. Your mysterious beauty is from a different culture whose customs vary from our own. However, if you are having such serious doubts this early into the relationship, it probably isn’t the best idea to pin your heart on it. MoreoYHU FRQVLGHU DOO RI WKH GLIÀ FXOWLHV such as the language barrier and the long distance factor. Would it really ever work? Try to forget about her and go and act like a normal bloke - go back to your mates, brag about how you’ve bagged an exotic hottie DQG WKHQ JR À QG \RXUVHOI VRPH QLFH Sharon down the road to snuggle up to instead.

Taboo or not taboo: New Year Eve Rodgers The countdown to the New Year... superstition has nothing to do with relationships. Yet, how many of us were sitting on the edges of our seats when Ryan sprinted to the top of the Four Seasons in order to kiss his beloved Marissa? And how many of us actually feared that in Ryan’s absence Marissa would kiss the conniving Oliver? Do we need to be with our partners this New Year’s Eve; does this really secure our relationship for the year to come? You may scoff at this clichÊ but come the New Year’s Eve countdown, surrounded by love-infested couples, boozing singletons and the atmospheric mood (in the case of Ryan and Marissa, with a little help from Finley Quaye), it is only natural to want companionship! The problem is that this mood has become an excuse for what can only be described as a desperate snogfest. You know what I’m talking about: pulling someone in the near vicinity to ensure you are lip-locked when Big Ben strikes midnight. What does this mean for couples though, because we can’t always ensure that the New Year celebrations will be spent together? ,V LW D UHà HFWLRQ RQ WKH UHODWLRQ ship if a couple cannot be together and will the relationship be cursed

Camilla Summerskill 3rd year History Email courier.life@ncl.ac.uk to nominate your friend

as a result? Worse still, could a person justify cheating with the “mood� of the New Year celebrations!? In my view, no! New Year is a time to celebrate, to be with the people (not just partners) that we love.

If you really value your relationship and you care for your partner then no silly New Year’s hype will affect you. My advice: be merry but don’t get carried away, because, let’s IDFH LW 5\DQ LV PRVW GHÀ QLWHO\ ZRUWK waiting for.

20

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

LIFE & STYLE

Life

Life Champion a charity Larisa Brown Life & Style Editor

At Home 7\QHVLGH &\UHQLDQV ZRUNV ZLWK the vulnerable, disadvantaged and KRPHOHVV WR WDNH WKHP RQ D MRXUQH\ from crisis situations onwards to a pathway of stabilisation and progression. Their support ranges from emergency intervention to training and employment. ,I \RX ZRXOG OLNH WR JHW LQYROYHG you can apply on their website, www.thecyrenians.org.

Abroad

Street trade not street aid Larisa Brown Life & Style Editor Considering the plethora of welleducated and informed students at Newcastle University, it seems surprising that some of us are apparently ignorant to the plight of sellers of the Big Issue magazine and the impact this magazine has on the lives of those much less fortunate than ourselves. We who are fortunate welcome WKH 1HZ <HDU LQ ZLWK ÀUHZRUNV DQG laughter but, for some, another year represents no more than a continued struggle against all the odds. Whilst many of us will be spending this Christmas in the comfort of our own homes, surrounded by friends and family, thousands of people across the UK will be out in the cold trying to survive. What the Big Issue magazine does is give those people who haven’t had a fair chance at life - whose upbringings have not even come close to anything we have ever imagined - a chance to reinvent themselves. By giving homeless people a job WKDW UHTXLUHV UHVROYH VRFLDO VNLOOV DQG HOHPHQWV RI PDUNHWLQJ DQG salesmanship, the magazine offers D VNLOOV DQG MRE H[SHULHQFH SODWIRUP from which the sellers can hope to progress. Buying the Big Issue is not the same as giving to charity; in fact it is quite the opposite. You are preventing

the need for charity by investing in a business, a business that changes the lives of the people that it employs. Without the magazine, and without its buyers, the future prospects of those living on the streets would EH VLJQLÀFDQWO\ UHGXFHG Selling the Big Issue successfully requires commitment, strength of character and a great deal of talent. The rewards are negligible if people don’t support the magazine by buying it. One Big Issue vendor in Newcastle spent from 9am - 5pm on the street, only to sell just two copies PDNLQJ D WRWDO SURÀW RI … If people don’t buy the magazine, the sellers have little option other than to resort to begging or stealing or another form of crime to get shelter for the night in a police cell. StuGHQWV OLNH XV FDQ PDNH D GLIIHUHQFH 7KH PDJD]LQH FRVWV … 6RPHthing most of us could spare every once in a while. A common and grossly unjust misconception amongst the population is that Big Issue sellers spend their money on drugs and alcohol. ThereIRUH PDQ\ DVN ZK\ VKRXOG ZH IXHO their addiction by giving them the means to afford it? Firstly, the majority of sellers spend their money on basic survival - such as food, shelter and clothing. After chatting to several sellers, it is clear that comments such as those DERYH DUH IHOW WR EH H[WUHPHO\ LQ-

sulting and ill-founded. Secondly, even if this was the case, how can ZH KDYH WKH DXGDFLW\ WR PDNH MXGJments on what other people spend their wages on? By buying the magazine you are contributing to a well-earned wage DQG WKH SURĂ€WHHU KDV HYHU\ ULJKW WR spend their money as they so wish. (YHU ZDONHG SDVW D Big Issue seller and thought, what is their story? Every person has a different story, and each story is just as sad as the QH[W RQH Steven Johnson, the infectiously IULHQGO\ VHOOHU ZKR ZRUNV DW WKH WRS of Northumberland Street, has been ZRUNLQJ IRU WKH Big Issue for two years now and currently holds the title of best seller in the area. Steven had a bad upbringing and subsequently ended up with QR VFKRROLQJ DQG OLWWOH H[SHULHQFH PDNLQJ KLP XQDWWUDFWLYH WR PRVW employers. The Big Issue gave Steve a chance which no one else did, and, as Steve said himself, “if it wasn’t for the Big Issue I wouldn’t be where I DP QRZ ,Q IDFW , GRQ¡W NQRZ ZKHUH I would be.â€? :KHQ DVNHG ZK\ SHRSOH VKRXOG buy the Big Issue, Steve said: “Because the sellers are showing that they are willing and wanting to better themselves. The only way they can better themselves is if people buy the magazine. Without it, they DUH FRQVWDQWO\ VWXFN LQ D UXW Âľ Now that you you’ve heard Steve’s

story, please don’t complain that Big Issue sellers are a nuisance or that WKH\ PDNH \RX IHHO JXLOW\ ZKHQ \RX ZDON SDVW $SSUHFLDWH KRZ GLIÀFXOW LW LV WR ÀQG the willpower to stand for hours to PDNH WKH RGG VDOH DW S SURÀW Most of us obtain money easily, whether it’s from our parents or as a student loan, but Big Issuers stand outside, in all weathers, for longer than most of us would ever consider ZRUNLQJ WR HDUQ D OHVV WKDQ PLQLmum wage. 7KH OXFN\ RQHV ÀQLVK D GD\ RI KDUG graft by going home to a temporary hostel, in circumstances far removed from any we have ever encountered, while others face a night on the streets subject to abuse and violence from yobs. So, when you’re out in town, perhaps buying this year’s Christmas presents, or maybe purchasing new clothes for a party, please spare a thought for those that didn’t and QHYHU ZLOO JHW WKH EUHDNV WKDW \RX DQG , WDNH IRU JUDQWHG 'R LW EX\ D Big Issue. The Big Issue was launched in 1991 as an alternative to begging. This quality magazine engages readers with issues that affect their lives but are overlooked by other media. The Big Issue gives the homeless or vulnerably housed training and advice so they can take responsibility for themselves, stabilise their lifestyles and move on.

,I \RX DUH ORRNLQJ IRU D ZD\ WR HQKDQFH \RXU &9 WR PDNH WKH PRVW RI \RXU \HDU DEURDG RU VLPSO\ ORRNLQJ IRU DQ RSSRUWXQLW\ WR PDNH D UHDO difference to those who need it, then YROXQWHHULQJ IRU WKH 'DYLG 0DWKHU Foundation is for you. The charity was set up in memory RI 'DYLG ZKR ZDV MXVW ZKHQ KH ZDV NLOOHG LQ D SDUDJOLGLQJ DFFLGHQW in Argentina and is now committed to supporting young people in Salta, North West Argentina. 7KH )RXQGDWLRQ IRFXVHV LWV ZRUN RQ \RXQJ SHRSOH DJHG ZKR are attending school and already achieving academic success, whilst at the same time struggling with GLIÀFXOW VRFLDO FLUFXPVWDQFHV SRRU living conditions, and many of them ZRUNLQJ XS WR KRXUV D ZHHN WR help contribute to the family income. 7KH )RXQGDWLRQ ZLOO ZRUN ZLWK the young people until they graduate from university - matching them with mentors from the local university and local businesses, funding additional tutoring, travel and study equipment, and giving them vocational training so that the hours WKH\ KDYH WR ZRUN RXWVLGH VFKRRO can be more productive and less time-consuming. The aim is that these young people will be able to realise their aspirations of attending and then successfully completing university, receive JRRG TXDOLÀFDWLRQV DQG JHW RQH VWHS closer to lifting themselves and their families out of a cycle of poverty. ,I \RX IHHO OLNH WDNLQJ RQ D FKDOOHQJH DQG KDYH FRQÀGHQFH DQG HQthusiasm, then they’d love to hear from you. Ways to get involved include teaching English, basic IT or vocaWLRQDO VNLOOV LQ 6DOWD $UJHQWLQD IRU D length of time to suit you (Spanish VSHDNHUV ZLOO EH DW DQ DGYDQWDJH DV well as placements or ad-hoc volunWHHULQJ LQ WKH 8. WR KHOS ZLWK WDVNV such as website development and WKH GHVLJQ RI EURFKXUHV DQG OHDà HWV to share with UK schools and businesses. 8QOLNH PDQ\ FKDULWLHV ZRUNLQJ abroad, volunteering is completely free of charge and therefore you ZRXOG RQO\ QHHG WR SD\ IRU à LJKWV and vaccinations with accommodation provided free depending on availability, as well as meals and transport to and from the necessary locations. &KHFN RXW WKH ZHEVLWH www.davidmatherfoundation.org, for more information, or contact one of the trustees Lydia at Lydia@davidmatherfoundation.org.

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

21

Going out

LIFE & STYLE

L. BROWN

Going out

Winter Wonderland in the Toon

View Askew

M. CASIMIR

Kathy Jackman Columnist

Millicent Simon The arctic temperatures may not be 1HZFDVWOH·V ÀUVW VHOOLQJ SRLQW IRU us students but with a little investigation it seems the winter months bring with them a wealth of opporWXQLW\ DOO UHDG\ IRU \RX WR HQMR\ )LUVW XS LQ 'HFHPEHU LV WKH &KULVWPDV 0DUNHW WK WK 'HF WKDW brings hand-crafted unique gifts DQG GHOLFLRXV GHOLFDFLHV WR VWRFN XS on before heading home for ChristPDV

,I \RX·UH ORRNLQJ IRU PRUH RI DQ H[SHULHQFH KHDG WR 6DOWZDOO 3DUN in Gateshead for their annual ‘EnFKDQWHG 3DUNV· ZKLFK VHHV WKH DUHD transformed with atmospheric inVWDOODWLRQV DQG SHUIRUPDQFHV H[SORULQJ WKH GD\V RI &KULVWPDV This year features an enormous PXVLF ER[ WDONLQJ )UHQFK KHQV DQG HYHQ D 9LFWRULDQ SDUORXU 7KH SDUN LV RSHQ IURP WK WK 'HFHPEHU FDOO WR UHVHUYH \RXU IUHH WLFNHWV )RU PRUH IURVW\ IXQ JHW \RXU VNDWHV

on and head to Times Square outside the Life Science centre to enjoy their RSHQ DLU LFH ULQN ,W LV DOUHDG\ RSHQ DQG UHPDLQV VR XQWLO VW )HEUXDU\ VR WKHUH·V SOHQW\ RI WLPH WR YLVLW FDOO RU YLVLW ZZZ OLIH RUJ XN The very childish amongst us may DOVR DSSUHFLDWH EUHDNIDVW ZLWK 6DQWD QG 1RY WK 'HF LQ WKH 7HUUDFH UHVWDXUDQW LQ )HQZLFN HQMR\ D DP EUHDNIDVW JLIW DQG 6DQWD YLVLW DOO IRU Â… )LQDOO\ IRU DQ\ RI XV SODQQLQJ RQ

EHLQJ XS QRUWK IRU 1HZ <HDU·V (YH LW·V ZRUWK ZDWFKLQJ WKH ZLQWHU FDUnival as the Newcastle Ice Queen and her colourful procession of steel drummers, musicians and performers storm the streets of Newcastle IURP SP ÀQLVKLQJ ZLWK ÀUHZRUNV )RU PRUH LQIRUPDWLRQ RQ DOO WKHVH HYHQWV YLVLW ZZZ QHZFDVWOHJDWHVKHDG FRP DQG GRZQORDG WKHLU ZLQWHU IHVWLYDO JXLGH

Christmas Market returns to Newcastle Kathryn Hicks Venture down the already busy shopping streets of Newcastle around Christmas time and you will ÀQG WKHLU PDUNHWV At this point, Newcastle is home to WKH ¶&RQWLQHQWDO 0DUNHW· DQG WKRVH ZLVKLQJ WR VHH WKH &KULVWPDV PDUNHW will have to wait until December 9th, but even those not selling Christmas goodies just yet clad themselves in tinsel and lights but sell their norPDO VWRFN RI VFDUYHV DQG KDQGPDGH WULQNHWV :DONLQJ DURXQG WKH PDUNHW LQ WKH Newcastle winter brings warmth as \RX ZDQGHU SDVW WKH EXVNHUV RQ WKH street and the stalls with their own international music adding to the FRQWLQHQWDO DWPRVSKHUH 6LWXDWHG DW *UH\·V 0RQXPHQW LW means you are surrounded by NewFDVWOH·V FHQWUH DQG KLVWRULFDO EHDXW\ The mood is a lively one with eveU\RQH WDNLQJ WKHLU WLPH WR ORRN DW the handmade Peruvian gifts or the %RQVDL WUHHV ZKLFK DUH IRU VDOH 7KH aroma of the German hot dog stand FDQ EH VPHOW ULJKW XS XQWLO LW LV WDNHQ

over by the hog roast standing in the PLGGOH RI WKH PDUNHW An array of sausages spread out over a huge wood burner is a treat for the eyes as they turn an alluring bronze colour before being served in a huge bread bun smothered in PD\R PXVWDUG RU NHWFKXS DV \RX ZLVK IRU Â… Not particularly wonderful for those vegetarians among us, as you ZDON SDVW DQ HQWLUH SLJ EHLQJ WXUQHG around in its plastic casing before being offered to passersby with apSOH VDXFH RU VWXIÀQJ EXW ZLWK WKH tantalising sweet stall and the mini 'XWFK SDQFDNHV IRU VDOH WKHUH LV VRPHWKLQJ IRU HYHU\RQH The confectionery stand at the cinema was always a highlight of mine when I was younger, but as they say ¶\RX DLQ·W VHHQ QRWKLQJ \HW· ZLWK LWV PDUVKPDOORZ NHEDEV SOHWKRUD of fudge and marzipan choices and SLFN DQG PL[ \RX ZRXOG EH VDWLVÀHG EXW WKH\ DUH LQVLJQLÀFDQW LQ comparison to the huge chocolate PXIÀQV FRYHUHG LQ PHOWHG FKRFRODWH ZLWK FKRFRODWHV WKHPVHOYHV VWXFN RQ top and the heavily laden chocolate

DSSOHV ,I WKLV LVQ·W \RXU WKLQJ WKRXJK VDvoury options are widely available from the dried fruit stand, and free tasters are constantly being offered at the cheese stall by the lovely Irish vendors or at the caramelised nut VHFWLRQ DW WKH FRUQHU RI WKH PDUNHW Every country is represented in some way here, whether it be the produce of the Spanish Paella, the 0DOWHVH FKLFNHQ ZUDSV WKH )UHQFK SDQFDNHV DQG PDFDURRQV RU WKH &KLQHVH QRRGOHV RU EH LW LQ WKH VWDOO owners themselves in the Egyptian ZRRGFDUYHU RU WKH &RFNQH\ VFDUI VDOHVZRPDQ :KHQ , VSRNH WR KHU VKH VDLG KDYing been all over the world she still ORYHG 1HZFDVWOH WKH SHRSOH DQG WKH city made her always want to come EDFN GHVSLWH KDYLQJ EHHQ DV IDU DV ,WDO\ VHOOLQJ %HLQJ DW WKH PDUNHW IRU ÀYH RXW RI its seven years as a seller made her able to comment that it is ‘pretty much of the same high standard as DOZD\V WKLV \HDU · 7KH RQO\ WKLQJ ODFNLQJ LW VHHPHG LQ WKH SHWLWH PDUNHW ZDV WKH VHOOLQJ

RI GULQNV 7KHUH DUH QRQH IRU VDOH DQG LW PD\ KDYH EHQHÀWHG IURP D VSODVK of mulled wine or chai tea being on RIIHU EXW ZLWK 6WDUEXFNV QH[W WR WKH VWDOOV \RX FDQ DOZD\V KDYH D EUHDN from the cold and sample their new 'DUN &KHUU\ 0RFKD DV ZH GLG 7KH PDUNHW LWVHOI PD\ EH VPDOOHU WKDQ VRPH PLJKW H[SHFW PH EHLQJ LQFOXGHG 'HVSLWH WKH FLW\ EHLQJ ODUJer than some such as Leeds, it possesses a smaller selection of stalls, so ZKDW PDNHV SHRSOH JR EDFN" The fact is the locals are the people ZKR ZLOO DOZD\V EULQJ EXVLQHVV LI \RX ZDQW D ELJ PDUNHW WKHQ WUDYHO LV QHFHVVDU\ LI \RX ZDQW D IXOO GD\ RXW but as students we may not have WKDW OX[XU\ VR IRU QRZ 1HZFDVWOH LV RXUV :KHQ DVNHG WKUHH ORFDO *HRUdies noted that it was a friendly DWPRVSKHUH ZLWK D ¶JRRG IHHO· WR LW and was a different way to spend D PRUQLQJ ZLWK \RXU IULHQGV 7KH XQLTXH TXDOLW\ RI WKH PDUNHW LV ORVW on some however, as I heard a passing man state that instead of having a hog roast dinner, he would ‘rather JR WR 0DFF\ '·V ·

The time has come for some VKDPHOHVV LGRO ZRUVKLS ,·YH been resisting it as much as is humanly possible, I swear, but , FDQ·W KROG EDFN DQ\ ORQJHU %HLQJ D VHOI FRQIHVVHG JHHN ZKRVH interests lie mainly in the realms RI ERRNV FRPLFV DQG PRYLHV my list of heroes is so long even , VRPHWLPHV ORVH WUDFN RI ZKR ,·P PHDQW WR EH VODYLVKO\ DGPLULQJ 5HJDUGOHVV ,·YH EHHQ WKLQNing about whom I would put in my top three ultimate idols, and WKLV LV ZKDW ,·YH FRPH XS ZLWK 1HLO *DLPDQ , PHQWLRQHG WKLV JX\ ZD\ EDFN LQ P\ ÀUVW FROXPQ DK PHPRULHV DQG , bring him up again because he is simply one of the best writers I have ever come across in my OLIH DV D UHDGHU +H·V IXQQ\ HORTXHQW DQG H[FHSWLRQDOO\ EL]DUUH DQG KH·V ZULWWHQ LQ GDPQ QHDU every genre and for every meGLXP WKHUH LV 7KH PDQ NQRZV QR ERXQGV *XLOOHUPR 'HO 7RUR *RRG *RG WKLV PDQ NQRZV KRZ WR GLUHFW $QG ZULWH $QG GUDZ +RQHVWO\ LI , GLGQ·W ORYH KLP VR PXFK WKHQ ,·G SUREDEO\ KDWH him for being so accursedly talHQWHG 1RW RQO\ GLG KH PDNH RQH RI P\ IDYRXULWH ÀOPV RI DOO WLPH WKH ZRQGHUIXO 3DQ·V /DE\ULQWK EXW KH·V EHHQ SXW LQ FKDUJH RI GLUHFWLQJ WKH XSFRPLQJ +REELW PRYLHV 7KLV WR PH LV WKH KRO\ JUDLO RI WKH FLQHPD ZRUOG $FWXDOO\ , WKLQN P\ UHDFWLRQ WR WKH news was something along the OLQHV RI JLUOLVKO\ VKULHNLQJ ´2K P\ *2' WKLV LV OLWHUDOO\ WKH EHVW WKLQJ HYHU µ EHIRUH GRLQJ DQ embarrassing little dance across WKH URRP %ULQJ LW RQ , VD\ 'RXJ -RQHV 1RW PDQ\ SHRSOH NQRZ ZKR ROG -RQHV\ LV DQG ZLWK JRRG UHDVRQ +H·V DQ actor who specialises in playing PRQVWHUV DQG RWKHU VXFK VSRRN\ things, which consequently requires that he be covered in PXFKR SURVWKHWLFV In a world where movies are far too dominated by unnatuUDOO\ SROLVKHG &*, LW·V UHDOO\ very refreshing to see someone so dedicated to maintaining a certain level of realism, no matter how much pain he KDV WR JR WKURXJK WR GR LW )XQQLO\ HQRXJK KH·V EHVW NQRZ IRU ZRUNLQJ ZLWK *XLOOHUPR 'HO 7RUR SOD\LQJ ÀVK PDQ $EH 6DSLHQ LQ +HOOER\ QRW WR PHQWLRQ WKH )DXQ DQG WKH QLJKWPDUH LQGXFLQJ 3DOH 0DQ LQ 3DQ·V /DE\ULQWK 'LGQ·W KH IUHDN \RX RXW" , VWLOO JHW WKH VKXGGHUV WKLQNLQJ DERXW LW 6R WKDW·V LW D ZULWHU D GLUHFtor and an actor who to me UHSUHVHQW WKH GHÀQLWLRQ RI SXUH DZHVRPHQHVV 7KH\ DOO DSSHDO WR GLIIHUHQW SDUWV RI PH P\ creativity, my love of literature and my fascination with the VXSHUQDWXUDO 6KRXOG \RX HYHU get into conversation with me, \RX·G SUREDEO\ GR EHVW QRW WR PHQWLRQ WKHP , GRQ·W ZDQW WR WDON \RXU HDUV RII

22

LIFE & STYLE

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

Travel

The Penny Pincher

SOUT H AFR ICA

Rowan Taylor Columnist

Why you should volunteer abroad Aine Molloy What are you doing this summer? Here’s an idea - volunteer! There is no possible way to sum up in words the amazing summer I have just experienced. In mid–July I departed for sunny South Africa (even though it was winter time there!) and came back eight weeks later with a different outlook on life. Spending a summer volunteering was without doubt the most rewarding, challenging and worthwhile thing I ever done. Though the 6.00am starts were not the most appealing (your body clock soon readjusts), teaching English and working in an orphanage gave you the will to go on every day! I had often heard the stories about Africa, ‘Once you go there, you will fall in love with it and never want to come back.’ Believe me, I’ve caught the fever. The people have such a relaxed attitude. I now run on ‘African time’ (code word for always late!). Not only did I see spectacular places (Swaziland, Kruger National Park

and Mozambique, to name a few), I made friends for life and have an unforgettable summer to look back on! Tenteleni is an entirely volunteerrun charity that supports UK university students to travel to placements in Kenya, Malawi, South Africa, Swaziland and Zanzibar. Volunteers work alongside staff in schools, children’s homes and nongovernmental organisations to offer support, enthusiasm and friendship. Both the local communities and the YROXQWHHUV WKHPVHOYHV EHQHĂ€ W IURP engaging in the sharing of skills and ideas. Tenteleni was founded in 1998 when the founder, Sarah Copas, visited Tenteleni Primary School in the township of KaNyamzane, near to the provincial capital Nelspruit in the Mpumalanga Province, South Africa. Upon her return from South Africa, Sarah researched the possibility of setting up “Tenteleniâ€? and the following year returned to South $IULFD ZLWK Ă€ YH IULHQGV Tenteleni continued to grow, and expanded into four other countries:

Kenya, Swaziland, Zanzibar and Malawi – as well as new projects within South Africa. The charity has continued to expand to include eight projects in À YH FRXQWULHV UXQQLQJ IRU weeks over the UK university summer break, involving over 100 volunteers. Within the placements the volunteers take on a number of roles, but the basic aim for any Tenteleni volunteer is to bring enthusiasm and energy to placements, engage in cultural exchange and support the educational opportunities of the children and young people in schools, children’s homes and non-formal placements. Tenteleni volunteers are Tenteleni; their hard work, passion, ideas and the links they make within the community keep the charity relevant, growing and achieving aims and objectives. Tenteleni volunteers aim to get involved with the community, through organising events or working with local governmental and non-governmental organisations. Within schools volunteers act as

Teaching Assistants (TAs), assisting especially with English, sharing ideas with educators and supporting them within the classroom WR EXLOG FRQÀ GHQFH DQG HVWDEOLVK a solid working relationship and create a more sustainable impact. Volunteers are also asked on some projects to support the discussion of Youth Issues, ranging from careers, self-esteem, bullying and HIV. Outside of the classroom volunteers support extra-curricular activities, also setting up new ones – from sports to debating, drama to library clubs. Many volunteers also spend time in children’s homes and centres for young people, getting involved with the daily lives of children and young people, forming friendships, playing and helping with homework. 7KLV LV GHÀ QLWHO\ D WZR ZD\ H[SH rience, with the volunteers learning massive amounts about themselves and wonderfully different cultures and languages. For more information visit: www. tenteleni.org.uk or email: info@tenteleni.org.uk.

Photo of the Week Alexandra Reid - 3rd year History “I took this photo when I travelled to Ecuador two years ago. It is of the Policia at a football match in Riobamba, central Ecuador.â€? Send your travel pictures to courier.life@ncl.ac.uk and you could win ÂŁ10 worth of photo prints as well as your photo printed and framed.

Lesson 9: Mobile Phones It’s worth doing your research here, because you will have to sign a contract for 12, 18 or even 24 months, so the wrong decision could stick with you for a while. Every network now provides several SIM-only tariffs. Like a contract, you pay per month and receive free call time, but you pay less and can usually cancel any time. You won’t get a new phone, so this is good for the traditionalists who just want ‘a phone to be a phone’, who already have a functioning phone. That doesn’t help the iPhone envy though. The better deals are nearly always for new customers rather than upgrades, as the networks take advantage of their customer’s laziness in staying put. Don’t forget the power of negotiation. Ring up a month before the end of your contract, put your brave and serious face on, then threaten to leave, demanding the very best deal. It gets quite fun when you pit the networks against each other – you’re in control. Now of course, you can’t negotiate with the internet, but the deals tend to be cheap to start with. Phone tariffs are heavily represented on cashback websites like Quidco.com, with Vodafone offering up to ÂŁ120 and O2 up to ÂŁ100 in free cash for each sign-up. Vodafone SIM-only 12 months at ÂŁ15 a month, with 600 anytime minutes and unlimited texts, with ÂŁ70 Quidco.com cashback, makes it effectively ÂŁ9.16 a month. Most companies are slowly but VXUHO\ KLGLQJ WKHLU RIĂ€ FHV EHKLQG DQ Ă DYRXUHG PLVW 7KHVH are costly to call from mobiles, at up to 40p a minute. If you’re embarking on a lengthy dispute, with your bank or utilities provider perhaps, Saynoto0870.com has a database of equivalent landline numbers. One of the most annoying cons with contract phones is that freephone numbers, aside from not being free, won’t even be covered by free minutes. You can work around these charges with 0800 Buster. Call 01226 81 0800, using free minutes, and this service re-navigates your call.

Deals of the Week: 1. Christmas dinner for six: ÂŁ11 at Asda Get all your housemates toJHWKHU IRU RQH Ă€ QDO HQG RI WHUP meal. The full package consists of turkey, potatoes, carrots, graY\ FUDQEHUU\ VDXFH DQG VWXIĂ€ QJ Christmas pudding and mince SLHV IRU DW D SULFH RI Â… D head. 2. M&S ‘Cotton Collection’ bath VHWV IRU Â… These are the kind of sets loved by mothers, aunts and grandmas at Christmas, or at least that’s what the male gender thinks. These were ÂŁ5 each, but until 24th December are half price DQG IRU

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

23

Jamie Archer reveals all in X Factor Chat > TV & Radio, page 37 Culture Editor: Alice Vincent - courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk

with 1LFN +RUQE\ > Culture Editor $OLFH 9LQFHQW caught up with the literary hero to GLVFXVV Ă€ FWLRQ Ă€ OP DQG Ă€ GHOLW\ Every year major literary celebrities honour the University with their presence in the name of the Fickling lecture - discussing Children’s DQG <RXQJ $GXOW Ă€ FWLRQ LQ WRGD\¡V society. For 2009, Nick Hornby came and spoke in the Herschel Building, giving a perceptive and witty view on WKH UROH RI <RXQJ $GXOW Ă€ FWLRQ DQG maybe slating Andrew Motion a little bit in the process; something here at Culture we always appreciate. It’s rare enough that students get the opportunity to hear from such successful authors, even rarer that they get to meet them. Hornby was incredibly down-to-earth, amusing, and happy to tell us the secrets of his success. :K\ GR \RX WKLQN \RXQJ DGXOW Ă€ F tion is so important? It was all something of a revelation to me when I started my own young DGXOW Ă€ FWLRQ Slam. Not that I read to KHOS PH ZULWH EXW Ă€ UVW RI DOO , ZDV interested in the ghettoisation of it. I always thought that if people were really good I would have already heard of them. But then I realised that they were brilliant and I hadn’t heard of them. They were proper writers, they have a big constituency and they write in a way that I think should be a model for a ORW RI Ă€ FWLRQ /RWV RI XV UHDG \RXU Ă€ FWLRQ DV Young Adults, yet that originally wasn’t your intention. No, and it’s been interesting to me. About A Boy had the youngest readership, and it’s very clear what kind of readership you’re going to get from what books. About a Boy had a kid in it, and a lot of kids read it and a lot saw the Ă€ OP High Fidelity typically seems to be read by people in their late teens early twenties and continues to be read by people that age. That book has survived generations. Obviously the book is a lot about popular culture and that helps. 'R \RX Ă€ QG \RXUVHOI UHVHDUFKLQJ \RXU VXEMHFW PDWWHU D ORW" I do some, but it’s a work of imagination. In Slam, Sam’s story is not a complicated one. He’s a 16 year old lad who is about to become a father. I think that’s the sort of thing where research doesn’t help you a great deal, because the job is convincing people this kid is who he says he is. I don’t think any of the books have huge amounts of research. Do you think someone like Sam would read your books? I hope so, yeah. I mean, he’s not a

stupid kid and books would be reasonably important to him. I’m quite evangelical, I try to include people more in the process of reading; not just young adults but adults as well. 7KHUH DUH D ORW RI FRPSHWLQJ HQWHU tainment forms now, do you think kids do read? I think this is a subject that people of my generation don’t understand. I read an awful lot as a kid but simply because there was no choice – if I didn’t want to be bored, I read. There was an hour of children’s TV on three channels. No opportunity to watch things for a second time on video, nothing. It’s easy to be smug – of course we always had our heads in a book, what else was there to do? It was head in a book or head down the toilet. I think that’s something writers have to take on board – they’re really competing for attention in that way. An Education made big noise this year – what did you think when \RX Ă€ UVW UHDG /\QQ %DUEHU¡V HVVD\ that started it all off? , WKRXJKW LW ZDV D Ă€ OP , WKRXJKW LW was very rich material, I thought it had something to say to people now as well as people who grew up at the time. I thought it was funny and complicated in an interesting way. With writing you’re looking for people at their moment of crisis, WKDW¡V ZKDW Ă€ FWLRQ LV , VXSSRVH , keep being drawn to young people EHFDXVH \RX¡UH PRUH OLNHO\ WR Ă€ QG your moment of crisis. 'R \RX Ă€ QG LW HDV\ WR ZULWH DERXW now you’re out of that generation? My teenage years feel quite close to me. I think there’s a particular intensity of experience when you’re a teenager – you’re doing a lot of WKLQJV IRU WKH Ă€ UVW WLPH VH[ GUXJV drink, music, discovery, falling in love. 7KH Ă€ UVW WLPH \RX GR DQ\WKLQJ LV likely to make an impression on you, so it doesn’t feel a million miles away, it doesn’t feel like I’ve forgotten. I had a teenage sister I was very close to, and An Education was produced by women, so I had a safety net. +RZ GLG WKH VFUHHQZULWLQJ SURFHVV differ from writing? My wife produced it, so I felt very LQYROYHG IURP WKH Ă€ OP IURP WKH very beginning, a) because it was my idea to do it, and b) because any creative or business decision made came home. 7KLV WRRN Ă€ YH \HDUV WR PDNH EXW LW was always at the house or in N.Y. every step of the way. Books are a very different and much more straightforward process. 7KLV ZDV D YHU\ ORZ EXGJHW Ă€ OP DQG LW VWLOO FRVW Ă€ YH PLOOLRQ TXLG :HOO Ă€ YH PLOOLRQ TXLG LV VWLOO D IRUWXQH <RX¡YH JRW WR Ă€ QG VRPHRQH ZKR¡V going to give you it.

Books aren’t like that. Books you can set anywhere, have as many people as you want and it doesn’t cost any more. At this stage in my career I can write a book and it’ll get published, whereas, there’s no such thing as an established screen writer. It’s a lot more complicated as a world. With An Education I feel vindicated because people have liked it and it has a life, and we had a hard job getting it made, so of course, we had a great sense of satisfaction. <RX SURGXFH VR PXFK VR IDVW what’s the next thing and how do you do it? This year there’s been the book and WKH À OP 7KH À OP , ZDV ZULWLQJ RQ DQG RII IRU À YH \HDUV and the book on and off for a year. It really doesn’t feel as though you’re frantic. A screenplay’s not very long. You can do a decent draft in eight weeks. With books, I always say to younger writers, you write 500 words in a day, you’ve written a book in 160 working days. Now, no-one’s publishing two books a year, nobody’s publishing a book a year. None of my peers, and certainly not me, so I still feel it’s more a question of

“what do I do with the rest of my time,�rather than how much work I have to pack in. I really enjoy the variety of work. I always want another medium. I’ve been working on this album with Ben Folds that’s coming out next spring. That’s been fantastic fun. He’s amazing, and I’m on this crash course in songwriting with him as a teacher. I think I understand the mindset of a songwriter better as a result. He’s recording at the moment, so when the email clocks up in the morning I know it’s an MP3 from Ben. What did you read growing up? Nothing very good. I think I was happiest when I read a book and I could see on the inside cover that there were thirty of them exactly the same. I think Just William was a big thing for me. Some cowboy series. A lot of comics. I was a bit comics fan. And as a \RXQJ SHU son? I read a lot of thrillers that my Dad had lying around. A-Levels was a big

thing in my starting to read. Forster, some French literature, went RQ D ELW RI D Ă€ W IURP WKDW SRLQW RQ I’d say pre-16 was thrillers and comics, really. I did read all my life I just didn’t read what people regard as literature. I still feel as though I’m teaching myself. I did a literature degree but I didn’t do very much work, and I read what I wanted to read. There are still huge gaps, but I’ve come to terms with the fact I can only read what I want to read. I don’t feel dutiful about reading, I don’t feel obliged, I don’t feel I ought to be reading anything. I am a serious reader, but there are some things I know I will never read, and I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t think anyone will be able to persuade me I have to read them – like, what harm will come to you if you don’t read these books? No harm at all. I don’t think they’ll do you much good either. Unless you’re going to enjoy the act of reading them then don’t bother. What if you heard someone saying “oh, you have to read About a Boyâ€?, or one of your other novels? Well, I’d tell them I’d written it! No I love people’s enthusiasm. I think the trouble with telling people you’d love something is that you have to know them properly. I hate people I’ve just met telling me I’d love something – how do you know? It’s a stupid thing to say. If I get repeated recommendations from close friends then I’ll check it out. But I love that conversation, I love that enthusiasm. There’s usually something in it. But in the end books sell for a reason and last for a reason.

Readers, we think you know us well enough by now to know that it is UDUH WKDW RXU QLJKWV RXW DUH SDUWLFX larly classy affairs. That’s not to say WKDW ZH DUH QRW FODVV\ JLUOV ZKDW HYHU SHRSOH PD\ VD\ ZH PRVW FHU tainly are! +RZHYHU RXU QLJKWV PRUH RIWHQ than not consist of lots of gin, mess, sweat and mayhem, not the elegant QLJKWV ZH HQYLVDJH ZKHQ EX\ ing beautiful high heels and pretty dresses. 7KLV ZHHN KRZHYHU JDYH XV D EULO liant opportunity to don the things we usually keep in our cupboards: the 21st birthday of one of our most ladylike friends. The theme was black and white; we knew there ZRXOG EH YHU\ VPDUW ORRNLQJ ER\V LQ VXLWV VR RXU Ă€ QH GUHVVHV Ă€ QDOO\ had the chance of an outing. (YHQ 0DXGLH ZKR SUHWW\ PXFK GHVSLVHV KHHOV VWUDQJH JLYHQ WKH\ PDNH KHU WKH VDPH KHLJKW DV HYHU\ RQH LQ Ă DWV PDQDJHG WR WRWWHU DERXW DOO HYHQLQJ 0HJDQ UHSUHVHQWHG LQ D JRUJHRXV YHOYHW EODFN GUHVV DQG 0DXGLH DYRLGHG FRORXUIXO GULQNV DOO QLJKW LQ Ă RZLQJ ZKLWH ,W¡V EHHQ VRPH WLPH EXW ZH DFWXDO ly enjoyed the ritual of getting ready IRU WKH HYHQLQJ WLJKWV ZHQW RQ ZLWK the knowledge they would not be taken off full of ladders and hair ZDV FDUHIXOO\ SLQQHG DQG VSUD\HG we didn’t plan on doing too much mental boogying and messing it up too early on in the night. 7KLV ZKROH HYHQLQJ ZDV GLIIHUHQW from the normal drunken stupor that most people tend to celebrate their birthdays in, when our friend LQVWHDG FKRVH WR UHQW RXW WKH WHU race bar at ‘As You Like It,’ sipping cocktails and eating all the chocolate FRYHUHG VWUDZEHUULHV ZDV D ORYHO\ DOWHUQDWLYH ZD\ WR VSHQG D 7XHVGD\ night. Thursday night, as not many of you English may know, was 7KDQNVJLYLQJ ZKLFK FRXOG RQO\ mean one thing through the eyes of an American...food. And lots of it! So while Thursday meant a lot of slicing and dicing it was well worth the effort to sit around and enjoy a ‘family’ dinner with good friends. (YHQ WKRXJK WKH ZLQH ZDV KDSSLO\ Ă RZLQJ E\ WKH HQG RI WKUHH FRXUVHV you could not get us to budge as ZH ZHUH WRR IXOO WR OLIW D Ă€ QJHU ZH left the washing up and watched a &KULVWPDV Ă€ OP )RRG ZLQH DQG FKHHV\ Ă€ OPV WKH perfect night at home in our books. By the time Friday rolled around though, we felt that we needed to get some gin in our systems at some point this week, and decided WR GLVFRYHU D QHZ QLJKW DW 1DQF\¡V Bordellos. 7KLV SODFH DGYHUWLVHV LWVHOI DV D ÂśZRUOG PXVLF EDU¡ KRZHYHU RQ D )UL day though it becomes the ‘Latino 8QGHUJURXQG¡ 1RW KDYLQJ D ELW RI Latino rhythm in us did not stop us trying to dance like we knew how. It started off quiet, meaning that ZH KDG IXOO UHLJQ RI WKH GDQFH Ă RRU QHYHU D JRRG WKLQJ DV ZH DWWHPSW ed to tango, swing, spin and dip to a IHZ GLVDSSURYLQJ VWDUHV 7KLV KDG WR be kept under control as the dance Ă RRU VWDUWHG WR Ă€ OO XS EXW WKH PX sic was a good mix of songs and we ended the night feeling surprisingly cultured for a Friday night. An interesting kind of week to say WKH OHDVW :KHQ \RX WU\ RXW VRPH thing different from the usual club QLJKWV WKDW OLWWHU 1HZFDVWOH \RX UHDOLVH LW¡V ZRUWK WKH H[WUD ELW RI HI fort to either appreciate time with IULHQGV RU MXVW Ă€ QG VRPHZKHUH QHZ and original.

Megan Sclater & Maudie Oppenheim Columnists

3am Girls

CULTURE

24

25

CULTURE

The tent highlight of the day was the %%&¡V Âś%DQJ *RHV WKH 7KHRU\¡ H[KLEL tion, where the big kid in me learnt ZLWK D EDOORRQ DQG DQ DLU PDFKLQH how aeroplanes stay up in the air and WKH VWDOO KLJKOLJKW ZDV ² , NQRZ ,¡YH JRQH RQ DERXW LW EXW ² WKH DPD]LQJ curries, samosas and bhajis for sale. The stage was the main feature of the IHVWLYDO VWDUULQJ $VLDQ VLQJHUV VXFK DV Faraz “The Entertainerâ€? Chohan and %KDQJUD VXSHUVWDU + 'KDPL DQG though we didn’t know the songs, the atmosphere was buzzing and we were soon dancing along. 2YHUDOO LW ZDV D 6XQGD\ DIWHUQRRQ VSHQW GRLQJ VRPHWKLQJ D ELW OHVV RUGL nary and a little piece of home!

GRHVQ¡W FRPH FORVH WR &ODVVLF 1RLU DV D JHQXLQHO\ SRZHUIXO UHĂ HFWLRQ of social emotions, attitudes and of course propaganda. 2QH RI P\ IDYRXULWH )LOP 1RLUV LV Carol Reed’s Night Train To Munich. 0DGH LQ LW UHHNV RI DQWL *HU man propaganda and crude British patriotism. But within this, its high drama and HPRWLRQ LV UHĂ HFWLYH RI WKH IDFW WKDW FLYLOLDQV ZHUH OLYLQJ WKURXJK D ZDU ZKLFK IRU WKH Ă€ UVW WLPH WKUHDWHQHG WKHLU OLYHV RQ D GDLO\ EDVLV

My cultural moment of 2009 has to be the death of Michael Jackson. The QHZV WKDW WKH VLQJHU KDG VXIIHUHG FDU diac arrest, aged 50, due to a cocktail RI VHGDWLYHV VKRFNHG WKH ZRUOG EDFN in June and the media’s reaction was as you’d expect if any great singer was to die. :KDW¡V PRVW SRLJQDQW VDG HYHQ DERXW -DFNR¡V GHDWK LV HYHU\RQH¡V VXG GHQ FROOHFWLYH UHDOLVDWLRQ DQG FHOHEUD tion of his extraordinary talent, which ZDV LQ UHFHQW \HDUV RYHUVKDGRZHG E\ WKH SXEOLF¡V IDVFLQDWLRQ ZLWK -DFN son’s increasingly bizarre appearance and questionable relationship with children. 3HUKDSV WKH RQH SRVLWLYH DVSHFW WR Jackson’s death is the fact that many RI WKRVH TXLFN WR GDPQ KLP KDYH since changed their minds about the SRS VWDU ,Q IDFW DVLGH IURP WKH KDUG FRUH -DFNR IDQV ZKR FDQ RQO\ EH GH scribed as mental, it is astounding just KRZ PDQ\ SHRSOH ZHUH LQĂ XHQFHG and inspired by Michael Jackson. $V DQ\RQH ZKR WXQHG LQ WR WKH IX neral will know, the respect for him amongst the entertainers of today DQG LQGHHG PDQ\ SROLWLFLDQV DQG FLYLO ULJKWV OHDGHUV LV XQULYDOOHG 3HUKDSV WKH PRVW HQGHDULQJ DVSHFW

Daniel Kielty I can remember watching the TV growing up; changing the channel ZKHQHYHU RQH RI WKRVH ERULQJ ROG ‘black and whites’ ruined the good mood The Simpsons had just put me in. %XW WKLV \HDU , Ă€ QDOO\ EHFDPH HQ tranced by the horrors of Hitchcock and the beautiful melodrama of the Second World War period. :LWK DOO RI WKH WHFKQRORJLFDO ZL] ardry of modern cinema, it just

Film Noir

Frances Kroon

RI WKLV ZDV WKHLU VKDUHG YLVLRQ RI Michael as a shy, young man, who saw the world through a child’s eyes. Whether Michael was this charming, 3HWHU 3DQ W\SH Ă€ JXUH RU WKH ÂśZDFNR Jacko’ splashed across the tabloids, KLV LQĂ XHQFH RQ WKH PXVLFDO ODQG scape of today is paramount; from the HPRWLRQDO ZHLJKW KH JDYH VRQJV VXFK DV :KR¡V /RYLQJ <RX ZKHQ KH ZDV VWLOO MXVW D FKLOG WR WKH UHFRUG EUHDN ing Thriller album and of course the JURXQGEUHDNLQJ PXVLF YLGHRV WKDW came with it, Michael has since been hailed as the greatest entertainer of all time. For me, I will admit I actually shed a tear at the funeral. Despite missing RXW RQ KLV JORU\ \HDUV , KDYH DOZD\V ORYHG 0LFKDHO -DFNVRQ KLV LQFUHGLEOH PXVLF KLV GDQFLQJ WKH JORYH DQG KLV FKDUPLQJ DOPRVW QDLYH RSWLPLVP IRU life. , JHQXLQHO\ EHOLHYH KH LV SRVVLEO\ WKH PRVW PLVXQGHUVWRRG SXEOLF Ă€ JXUH LQ UHFHQW SRSXODU FXOWXUH WKRXJK SHU KDSV WKLV LV Ă€ WWLQJ DQG OLNH DOO JUHDW artists he has become far greater in death then he was in life. 6R KHUH¡V WR WKH .LQJ RI 3RS WKH ODVW great music legend. Those sparkly VRFNV DUH FHUWDLQO\ ELJ RQHV WR Ă€ OO VR NXGRV WR DQ\ EUDYH VRXO ZKR GDUHV WR try.

The death of Michael Jackson

My cultural highlight of this year has WR EH 1HZFDVWOH 0HOD +DYLQJ JURZQ XS LQ WKH PXOWLFXOWXUDO FLW\ RI %UDG ford, the Mela was a chance to feel ULJKW EDFN DW KRPH DQG WR JHW P\ hands on some quality curry! , GUDJJHG P\ KRXVHPDWHV DORQJ UH galing them with stories of Bradford’s $VLDQ IHVWLYDOV DQG HQWKXVLQJ DERXW the numerous stalls and samosas that were going to be on offer. I was slightly disappointed when ZH Ă€ UVW DUULYHG LQ ([KLELWLRQ 3DUN DV LW ZDVQ¡W TXLWH WKH VSUDZOLQJ IHVWLYDO I’d been expecting; but there were stalls, tents and spicy food so I soon JRW RYHU LW

Aimee Philipson

Newcastle Mela

> In a year which saw the loss of cultural greats Jackson and Swayze; the rise of Gaga, Florence and La Roux in what was arguably women’s twelve months in music; Damien Hirst’s and Ian McKellen’s arrival in the North East and Jedward and Subo’s domination of reality TV, Culture’s writers and editors look back over 2009 and think about what made the year for them

7KH XWWHU VHQWLPHQWDOLVP RI 1RLU RIWHQ SURYLGHG D SRZHUIXO QRVWDOJLF comfort both to soldiers at the front DQG WKHLU ZLYHV EDFN KRPH 7KH GL luted, commercialised stodge that most of Hollywood produces today MXVW GRHVQ¡W FRPH FORVH WR 1RLU LQ LWV ability to genuinely touch peoples OLYHV WKURXJK D WLPH RI VHULRXV VRFLDO dislocation. This unique quality that only Film 1RLU KROGV LV MXVW DV SRZHUIXO IRU PH today.

We enjoyed a couple of a la carte Quicken the Heart cocktails courtesy of the cinema’s bar before Maximo 3DUN DUULYHG RQ VWDJH VWUDLJKW IURP their album signing at HMV on 1RUWKXPEHUODQG 6W Despite being a fan of the band, this ZDV WKH Ă€ UVW WLPH ,¡G DFWXDOO\ VHHQ WKHP OLYH DQG ,¡OO KDSSLO\ DGPLW WKDW LW ZDV WKH YHQXH LWVHOI WKDW PDGH WKH experience so amazing. As a bit of a shorty, getting a good YLHZ LQ JLJV FDQ EH WULFN\ DW WKH EHVW RI WLPHV EXW WKH RGG FDSDFLW\ RI the room meant that I was pressed

Maximo Park’s album launch Stephanie Ferrao (DUOLHU WKLV \HDU 1RUWK (DVW EDQG 0D[LPR 3DUN VKXQQHG WKH SURGLJLRXV 0HWUR 5DGLR $UHQD KRVW RI WKHLU VHOO RXW KRPHFRPLQJ JLJ WR ODXQFK their third album Quicken the Heart at the Ouseburn Valley’s Star & Shadow Cinema. Queuing down High Bridge Street at 7am was made entirely worthwhile by getting my hands on tickets for ZKDW SURPLVHG WR EH D ORZ NH\ EXW highly anticipated intimate gig at one RI 1HZFDVWOH¡V PRVW XQOLNHO\ YHQXHV

ULJKW DJDLQVW WKH VWDJH ZLWKLQ EUHDWK ing distance of the band. 7KH DWPRVSKHUH ZDV OLYHO\ ZLWKRXW EHLQJ SXVK\ ZLWK WKH FURZG HQJDJ ing a fair dose of repartee with lead VLQJHU 3DXO 6PLWK 6DIHJXDUGLQJ LQGH SHQGHQW DQG YHUVDWLOH YHQXHV VXFK DV WKH 6WDU 6KDGRZ LV NH\ WR SUHVHUY LQJ 1HZFDVWOH¡V DOWHUQDWLYH FXOWXUDO identity, so when Field Music play at WKH $UW:RUNV *DOOHU\ RU 6PRRYH Turrell are on at the Cluny, you know I’m all ears.

spotlight, making his intelligent, yet GRZQ WR HDUWK OLYH SHUIRUPDQFHV DOO the more special. We Are Gathered Here found Kitson wrestling with life and death, the meaning of life, and, of FRXUVH KLV HYHU SUHVHQW VWDPPHU :KLOVW D VKRZ EDVHG DURXQG DQ H[LV tential crisis caused by the death of a GLVDEOHG UHODWLYH PLJKW QRW VRXQG OLNH a barrel of laughs, Kitson managed to tap into the humour experienced in WKH PRVW GHVSHUDWH RI VLWXDWLRQV $I ter describing in agonising detail his

YHQWLYH LOOXVWUDWLRQV OLIWLQJ WKH JUH\ RI the city, to the colour and mishmash RI UDJJOH WDJJOH ELNHV ZDUHKRXVHV FUDPPHG WR EULP ZLWK YLQWDJH DQG WLQ\ FRIIHH KRXVHV DQG EDUV DOO GHFR UDWHG LQ ORYLQJO\ GLIIHUHQW ZD\V %HU lin was one big picture for me, which , QHYHU ZDQWHG WR VWRS ORRNLQJ DW 3HUIRUPDQFH DUW FDPH DW \RX LQ nightclubs in mirrorball suits to an unlikely English pop rock soundtrack, and whole streets of deserted houses KRVWHG DUW RSHQLQJV :LWKRXW HYHQ VWHSSLQJ LQWR DQ RIÀ FLDO JDOOHU\ WKH sharp lines of landscaping in public parks showed Berlin’s architectural KHULWDJH 3DUDGHV DQG IHVWLYDOV LQ WKH

liam’s The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus" .HHS LW REYLRXV DQG EODEEHU RQ about how Thom Yorke’s solo set at WKH /DWLWXGH IHVWLYDO DOPRVW UHGXFHG me to tears? :HOO VRG DOO WKRVH 0\ FXOWXUDO PR ment of the year was seeing one of the JUHDW OLYLQJ FRPHGLDQV 6WHZDUW /HH RQ KLV UHWXUQ WR 1HZFDVWOH ODVW PRQWK on the tour for his current show If You Prefer A Milder Comedian, Please Ask For One 'LVVHFWLQJ HYHU\WKLQJ IURP

and stood in line behind a family with VPDOO FKLOGUHQ REYLRXVO\ SDUHQWV DUH far more liberal these days; and a FRXSOH ZKR ZHUH KDYLQJ D URPDQWLF ZHHNHQG DZD\ QRW P\ À UVW SRUW RI call on a mini break but each to their own. The experience was terrifying. :KHQ WKH GXQJHRQ YLVLW À QLVKHG , walked straight out and straight into the nearest pub for a couple of strong ZKLVNH\V WR VWHDG\ P\ QHUYHV The dungeon spectacular lasted an KRXU DQG D KDOI (YHU\ WHQ VHFRQGV of which some freaky looking person with a strange skin disease or missing limb or weird oozing wound would jump out and scream in your face.

Talking Heads formed in 1974 and VSOLW LQ 6R WKH\ ZHUH D ELW EH IRUH P\ WLPH %XW RYHU WKHLU FDUHHU WKH\ PDGH VRPH RI WKH PRVW LQĂ XHQ tial albums, but more importantly, they made probably the best onstage PXVLF Ă€ OP HYHU Âś6WRS 0DNLQJ 6HQVH¡ It was more than a stage set; it was a work of art. 6R ZKHQ IURQW PDQ 'DYLG %\UQH

Christopher Scott

toured this year, promoting his and %ULDQ (QR¡V DOEXP Âś(YHU\WKLQJ 7KDW Happens Will Happen Today’, my Dad got tickets as soon as he could. I wasn’t too bothered about going initially to be honest, but it turned RXW WR EH RQH RI WKH EHVW JLJV ,¡YH HYHU been to. The echoes of Talking Heads remained present in Byrne’s solo work, something I’m glad he didn’t try to shake off completely. 7KDW NLQG RI PXVLF VRXQGHG DPD]

Rediscovering Talking Heads

Without a doubt, my cultural moment RI WKH \HDU ZDV ZLWQHVVLQJ 'DQLHO .LW VRQ¡V KLODULRXV DQG WRXFKLQJ VWDQG XS comedy tour, We Are Gathered Here. .LWVRQ LV VRPHWKLQJ RI D RQH RII LQ FRPHG\ EHLQJ ERWK DQ DZDUG ZLQ QLQJ KLJKO\ UHYHUHG FXOW Ă€ JXUH DQG a genuinely nice, cuddly bloke. With WKH H[FHSWLRQ RI DQ LQVSLUHG SHUIRUP ance as Spenser in Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights, Kitson shuns the media

Joe Barton

Daniel Kitson

OK, so technically I’m cheating, but my cultural moment of 2009 spans a IHZ GD\V %DFN LQ $SULO , ZHQW WR YLVLW a friend in Berlin, and was incredibly UHOXFWDQW WR OHDYH 6R UHOXFWDQW LQ IDFW WKDW , QHDUO\ PLVVHG P\ Ă LJKW KRPH For me, Berlin was the epitome of ZKDW D FLW\ RI FXOWXUH VKRXOG EH (Q tangled with a grizzly historical past, WKH FLWL]HQV RI RQH RI *HUPDQ\¡V SRRU HVW DQG \HW PRVW YLEUDQW FLWLHV KDYH PDGH WKHLU VWDWHPHQWV LQ D YDULHW\ RI ZD\V )URP WKH LQFUHGLEOH JLDQW VL]H JUDIĂ€ WL ZKLFK VSDQV DQ HQWLUH VLGH RI D ERPEHG EXLOGLQJ EHDXWLIXO DQG LQ

Alice Vincent

*UDIĂ€ WL LQ %HUOLQ

5LJKW VR WKH LGHD LV WKDW ZH¡UH WR FRQ dense an entire year of experience and knowledge into one fragmentary PRPHQW IRU WKH EHQHĂ€ W RI \RX WKH reader. 1DUURZLQJ LW GRZQ LVQ¡W HDV\ ² GR , go all highbrow, and talk about how JUHDW WKH $ 'XFN )RU 0U 'DUZLQ H[ hibition at the Baltic was? Maybe the FLQHPDWLF PDUYHO WKDW ZDV 7HUU\ *LO

Mark Corcoran-Lettice

Stewart Lee

An exciting cultural moment for me GXULQJ WKH \HDU ZDV À QDOO\ YLVLW LQJ WKH /RQGRQ 'XQJHRQ KDYLQJ QRW been allowed to go when I was little, because according to my mother, I ZRXOG KDYH EHHQ OHIW ZLWK VHULRXV psychological scars. , À QDOO\ KDG WKH SHUIHFW H[FXVH WR JR DQG PDNH XS IRU P\ GHSULYHG FKLOG hood. A friend was coming to stay DQG ZDQWHG WKH XOWLPDWH /RQGRQ H[ perience... I’d like to think that, being mature at the age of 22, I can laugh in the face of fear. $ODV , ZDV ZURQJ :H DUULYHG WKHUH

Cordelia Rosa

London Dungeons

ing 20 years ago, and still sounded good today. It’s a timeless kind of music, hard to put into a genre. His QHZ ZRUN LV PRUH DPELHQW DQG HOHF tronic, showcasing Byrne’s ability to PRYH ZLWK WKH WLPHV DQG H[SHULPHQW with different areas of music. But the songs are still catchy and the O\ULFV UHPDLQ LQVLJKWIXO DV HYHU +H EHFDPH D À JXUHKHDG LQ P\ H\HV DV D cultural icon.

GLVWUHVV DW ZDWFKLQJ D EHORYHG IDPLO\ PHPEHU VOLS DZD\ .LWVRQ UHYHDOHG KRZ WKH Ă€ UVW WKRXJKW WKDW SRSSHG into his head was “Fuck it; I’m gonna KDYH D %XUJHU .LQJÂľ ,Q WU\LQJ WR EH rebellious, comedy is often so full of F\QLFLVP WKDW LW VLPSO\ EHFRPHV ERU ing. Instead, Daniel Kitson chose to GR VRPHWKLQJ OLIH DIĂ€ UPLQJ DQG WKH result was the most radical comedy JLJ ,¡YH HYHU VHHQ

street brought music and colour from KXJHO\ UDQJLQJ JHQUHV DQG VHYHUH haircuts punctuated the landscape with shape and asymmetry. 7KLV LV HYHQ EHIRUH WKH (DVW 6LGH *DOOHU\ RQ WKH UHPDLQV RI WKH %HUOLQ :DOO :RUGV KDYH ORQJ EHHQ UHFRJ QLVHG DV QHYHU EHLQJ DEOH WR HYRNH D picture or a moment as well as music RU DUW +RZHYHU LI , KDG WR UHPHPEHU one moment it would be riding the RYHU JURXQG PHWUR DFURVV WKH RQFH GLYLVLYH ULYHU 6SUHH DW DP EDFN IURP a night out; sun just beginning to rise, DQG KLWWLQJ DOO WKDW DPD]LQJ DIRUH PHQWLRQHG JUDĂ€ WWL LQ WKH RQH WLPH WKH city is quiet.

DGYHUWLVLQJ VORJDQV 7RS *HDU DQG HYHQ KLV QRW VR IHOORZ VWDQG XSV ZLWK KLV XQLTXH EOHQG RI LQFLVLYH IXU\ surrealist digressions and sarcastic ZLW DQ HYHQLQJ ZLWK 6WHZDUW /HH LV little less than a display of how pure and perfect an art form comedy can be, and yet another demonstration of just how far ahead of the pack he is. Really, nothing else could compare to that.

7KH -DFN WKH 5LSSHU VHFWLRQ JDYH PH D FRQVWDQW VKLYHU UXQQLQJ XS DQG GRZQ P\ VSLQH DV GLG WKH ORYHO\ WLPH VSHQW in the barber’s chair of Sweeney Todd in Fleet Street; not to mention being lost in a maze of mirrors. While I was FRZHULQJ LQ WKH FRUQHU WKH \RXQJ FKLO GUHQ ORYHG LW HVSHFLDOO\ WKH ELW ZKHQ blood started spurting out of some poor innocent man who had died of the plague and was being used for SRVW PRUWHP I am most grateful to my mother for QRW JLYLQJ LQ WR P\ DZDUG ZLQQLQJ tantrum and instead compromising ZLWK D PXFK PRUH FLYLOLVHG YLVLW WR Madame Tussauds.

What was your ultimate cultural moment of 2009?

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

26

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

CULTURE

Arts

Arts Arts Editor: Stephanie Ferrao - courier.culture-arts@ncl.ac.uk

Churchill to star in Toon panto? Ohhhh yes he is! David Coverdale Editor After a 13 year advertising-only career, Churchill the nodding dog KDV À QDOO\ PDGH WKH PRYH IURP WKH small screen to the stage. The icon of the insurance industry can be found at Newcastle Theatre Royal this Christmas as he makes a special guest appearance in the starstudded production of Cinderella. Churchill was kind enough to break from rehearsals to speak exclusively to The Courier about his pantomime debut, his love life and his thoughts on the proposed increase of tuition fees. Good to meet you Churchill, do you like it up here in Newcastle? Oh yes Are you excited to be making your stage debut? Oh yes Glad to hear it. Does this mean the end of your insurance ad career though? Oh no, no It must be a bit nerve-wracking for you to perform in front of such a big crowd. Are you worried that you might get stage fright during the pantomime? Oh yes And there are obviously some good looking girls in the cast. Do you have the hots for Cinderella? Ohhhh yes Right then Churchy, readers of The Courier have submitted me some questions that they would like to know the answers to if that’s OK? Oh yes *UHDW )LUVWO\ WKHQ ZKHQ À OPLQJ WKH insurance ads, do the crew leave a little gap in the car door window so

that you don’t overheat? Oh yes ,I \RX KDG D Ă€ JKW ZLWK WKH 'LUHFW Line phone, do you think you would win? Oh yes Life isn’t always in black and white. Do you not think sometimes you should sit on the fence? Oh noooo Do you have a problem with the fur trade? Oh yes Do you know Pablo the Drug Mule or Alexander the Meerkat? Oh noooo Do you have 99 problems but a bitch isn’t one? [Churchill looks bemused] Have you considered settling down with a nice lady dog? [Churchill refuses to answer] Are you a bit of a player? Oh no, no, no Did anything happen between you and Melanie Sykes in Paris? Oh no Come on Churcy, you can tell The Courier can’t you? Oh no :KLFK RI WKH IROORZLQJ Ă€ OPV GR \RX like: Dogma? Oh no Cats & Dogs? Oh no 101 Dalmatians? Oh yes Does the Baha Men’s anthem ‘Who Let the Dogs Out?’ offend you as it is derogatory towards women and also implies that dogs don’t look good? Oh yes Very interesting. Right Churchill, I’ve got a few questions for you to do with subjects that are very topical at the moment at our University.

Above, Dandini takes a break from rehearsals with Churchill to have a read of The Courier ZKLOH EHORZ &KXUFKLOO Âż QGV D GLIIHUHQW XVH IRU WKH QHZVSDSHU

Firstly, do you think the cap on tuition fees should rise? Oh no Do you feel for the students who haven’t got their loans yet? Oh yes Do you think students should be kicked out of Jesmond? Oh no Would you like to live in Jesmond yourself? Oh yes Do you think Newcastle will win the Stan Calvert Cup for a record third year? Oh yes Finally, I’d just like to know, do you ever get sick of just saying oh yes and oh no? [Churchill rolls his eyes but does not comment] Well thanks very much Churchill. It’s been a pleasure speaking to you and best of luck with the rest of the pantomime. See Lucy Hadley’s review of the Theatre Royal’s production of Cinderella below

A timeless tale with performances to match the production Lucy Hadley If you fancy a bit of Christmas sparkle to brighten up the last chilly week before we all return home, head down to the Theatre Royal to catch the North East’s record-breaking pantomime, Cinderella. $ VWDU VWXGGHG VXUSULVH À OOHG DQG fairy-dust covered production, it is a spectacular display of the best that Panto has to offer; a hot air balORRQ IDOOLQJ VQRZ D à \LQJ KRUVH and an animatronic horse ensured it certainly wasn’t short of Christmas magic. Britain’s No. 1 pantomime director Michael Harrison presents Cinderella DV KLV À IWK UHFRUG EUHDNLQJ pantomime at the Theatre Royal. The show has already broken box RIÀ FH UHFRUGV WDNHQ RYHU RQH PLO lion pounds, and is a major hit in the North East - so panto fans better get their hands on tickets fast. Aside from the extensive production, it is the cast who are drawing in the audiences this December – including soap-stars, Geordie favour-

ites and big West End names. Roxanne Pallett took the title role as Cinderella; best known as Jo Sudgen in ITV Emmerdale, she received nominations for Best Actress, Sexiest Actress and Best Storyline. Recently, she has also delighted audiences with her vocal and dancing talent in reality shows such as Soapstar Superstar, Celebrity Stars in their Eyes and Dancing on Ice. Pallett said that it’s “every little girls dream, and I can’t wait to step into Cinderella’s slippers.â€? She certainly looked the part, but the fact that she collapsed into hysterical laughter when she was meant to be in hysterical tears, wasn’t really indicative of acting ability. 5HWXUQLQJ IRU WKHLU Ă€ IWK VHDVRQ DW the Theatre Royal, are Clive Webb and Danny Adams – the enormously popular father-and-son act that are dubbed the “Superstars of Slapstick.â€? Playing the Baron and Buttons respectively, they were funny, engaging and clearly adored by the Newcastle audience. The duo were jointly awarded the

CFA Best Comedy Act in 2007, and have performed extensively around the UK in many different theatre and cabaret venues, Butlins and Haven holidays parks and even with Zippo’s Circus. However, they have declared to be happiest when at the returning to the Theatre Royal and the North East, where they have reigned suSUHPH IRU Ă€ YH \HDUV Other Geordie favourites included Newcastle’s pantomime dame, Chris Hayward as Baroness Rita and North East actor Phil Corbett as one of the Ugly Sisters. Each of the talented Hayward’s extravagant costumes were designed by himself ² WKH Ă€ QDO KHDGGUHVV HYHQ LQFOXGHG a gold Angel of the North. Matt Rawle brought some West End credentials to the role as Prince Charming – having performed in Aspects of Love, Evita and Zorro, he is an established musical theatre star who was a panto natural. It was something of a pleasant and FRPLFDO VXUSULVH WR Ă€ QG WKDW 79¡V favourite canine Churchill the nod-

ding dog made his theatrical debut in the production as a cabaret host, giving some useful advice to other characters through his trademark ‘ohhh yes’s and ‘ohhh no’s! Packed full of household names and audience favourites, Cinderella is a show in which the performances matched the production. Cinderella is a timeless tale – the VWRU\ RI D JLUO OLYLQJ LQ GLIĂ€ FXOW FLU cumstances, suddenly transported to great fortune via some Ugly Sisters, a Fairy Godmother and a certain Prince Charming. Plenty of Geordie-related jokes made the pantomime relevant and enjoyable for all ages in the audience. In these cold credit-crunch times, we all need a bit of magic to remind us that soap stars will always go into panto, children will always be enchanted by “he’s behind youâ€? cheers, and pantomime still makes Christmas. Cinderella is on at the Theatre Royal until 16 January. To book tickets call the %R[ 2IĂ€ FH RQ

Candlelit Christmas Concert With the huge commercial drive towards Christmas, it’s easy to forget about the more traditional festive activities that hold a little more seasonal charm than getting winded by aggressive shoppers on Northumberland Street. Thankfully Newcastle University’s Student Orchestra and Choir have combined to organise a Candlelit Christmas Concert that will make any Grinch or Scrooge optimistic. The evening promises performances of yuletide-inspired classical music including pieces from Brahms, Britten and Shostakovich, as well as all your favourite Christmas carols. So wrap up warm and head down to All Saint’s Church on the Quayside and embrace the spirit of Christmas. Candlelit Christmas Concert is on 7KXUVGD\ WK 'HFHPEHU DW $OO Saints Church on the Quayside. Tickets are £5 for adults and £3 for students.

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

27

Arts

CULTURE

Flying without wings at the Northern Stage Ayse Djahit With the vast range of pantomimes on offer this Christmas, you really are spoilt for choice. However, this production of Peter Pan is an excellent way to start the festive period with a twist! This December, Northern Stage presents J. M. Barrie’s classic children’s tale Peter Pan as its annual pantomime. 2010 marks the 150th anniversary of Barrie’s birth, as well as the Northern Stage’s 40th anniversary, so there’s really no better panto to bridge the gap between the old and new decades! For anyone who never read the book or tragically never got to see the Disney version, Peter Pan is the classic tale of the boy who never grows up and seeks adventure in

the mystical Neverland. Here, along with the Darling famLO\ KH VHHNV WR ÀQDOO\ EHDW &DSWDLQ Hook and be reunited with the Lost Boys. Snubbing the traditional form of wacky tacky pantos, Peter Pan has been given a unique twist this Christmas, and Northern Stage’s production of it holds no possibility of disappointment. Stage One will be painstakingly transformed specially for the production, enlarging the capacity of the audience as well as allowing the viewers to be closer and to feel part of the story. This year, the audience will completely surround the stage and will be immersed in the live action as Peter Pan takes on the swashbuckling Captain Hook and his pirate henchmen.

Taking the lead role is actor Louis 5REHUWV IUHVK IURP KDYLQJ ÀQLVKHG playing a ventriloquist’s dummy in Chico at the Quayside’s Live Theatre and the lead in Northern Stage’s gritty drama Apples due to tour the area next year. Louis is joined by Christian Bradley who plays the malevolent Captain Hook, Tilly Gaunt playing the sensible and motherly Wendy, Mark Conway - a Spotlight 2009 nominee - makes his professional debut at Northern Stage as John Darling and Faye Marsay returns from touring South Africa to play the mischievous Tinkerbell. Northern Stage also showcases some home grown talent too, in the form of actors Christopher Foley and Micky Cochrane as Michael Darling and Hook’s sidekick Smee, as well as a supporting chorus of students

from Newcastle College’s Performing Arts course. Peter Pan re-unites some familiar names at Northern Stage, with Chief Executive Erica Whyman returning to direct this festive bonanza written by Stephen Sharkey. Neil Murray returns from working on the world premiere of the RSC’s A Tender Thing to design the set, and Liv Lorent, (of BalletLORENT) is choreographing the production, bringing with her some of the BalletLORENT company who incorporating masterful dance into this classic masterpiece. For students who prefer bucketloads of action and drama to men in drag prancing across a stage, Peter Pan is the show to see before you head home.

7RS &KULVWPDV JLIW ERRNV WR ÀOO \RXU VWRFNLQJ Advice on Courtship and Marriage

Private Eye Dumb Britain 2

Karlology by Karl Pilkington

The Wit and Wisdom of the North

The Magna Fartlet: Viz Roger’s Profanisaurus

Summersdale ÂŁ4.99

Private Eye ÂŁ4.99

Dorling Kindersley ÂŁ12.99

Ebury Press ÂŁ12.99

Dennis Publishing ÂŁ4.99

Technically, this looks like something my mum would “hilariouslyâ€? throw into my stocking; the perfect joshing reminder that you’re horribly single on Christmas morning, much like the “grow your own perfect manâ€? kit I received last year. However, it would seem that this would be a genuinely funny gift for a singleton, not least in the sense of the relief you’d feel for not being a Victorian. The book is a reprint of a genuine guide to getting some way back when from some bored tart in the mid nineteenth century, and is complete with all the advice regarding the choosing, wooing and marrying of the right young man. Antiquated values run rife as you too can understand the value of the chaperone, the appropriateness of your bonnet and what couples really got up to when sex before marriage was forbidden. For blokes, maybe this is a guarantee to success with that lady you found to kiss at midnight on New Years’, or at least suggest an alternative means of seduction to trebles and Tiger Tiger. *LYHQ WKDW LW¡V XQGHU D Ă€YHU ZLOO probably make your bathroom look more educated and will undoubtedly conjure up some laughs during the Queen’s speech, there are far worse pieces of trashy literature out there. If nothing else, it will convince all singletons that they’re probably better off that way.

Ah, good old Private Eye. One of the great bastions of the British qualities of satire, severity and scorn, the magazine’s trademark mix of quality investigative journalism, wonderfully irreverent rumour-spreading and downright ridiculous humour has kept it going for over four (often tumultuous) decades – it’s not for nothing that current editor Ian Hislop is the most sued man in Britain. As brilliant as its scoops are though, it’s the more broad piss-taking in which it trades so well that’s made it so beloved an institution, which the release of their second Dumb Britain feature makes evident. Taking aim at the seemingly endless examples of mass stupidity that the game show offers up, this second compilation is full of jaw-dropping ignorance that’s as hilarious as it is occasionally shocking. For example, take this gem from The Weakest Link: Anne Robinson, when asking one hapless contestant which hot drink’s name is an anagram of ‘eat’, is given the answer ‘Hot chocolate’. A guaranteed delight for the pedant in your life, Dumb Britain 2 does exactly as it suggests; it offers up only the funniest, choicest examples of idiocy for your perpetual delectation. 1RZ LI WKDW GRHVQ¡W Ă€OO \RX XS ZLWK Christmassy warmth and a love for your fellow man, then frankly I don’t know what will.

Described by Ricky Gervais as “a great book to wipe your arse withâ€?, Karlology is the result of Pilkington’s now jobless life, consisting of visits to museums, galleries, and the insanely hilarious realms of his own head. 3LONLQJWRQ¡V Ă€UVW IRUD\ LQWR WKH printed word was in The World of Karl Pilkington; transcripts from the XFM radio shows, where his surreal observations failed to translate onto paper. However, as Karlology is written by Pilkington himself, his sweet natured yet terrifyingly mental theories are delivered with all the same comedic monotony. Take a sample paragraph: “I have a theory that the brain might have come from another planet where brains ruled [...] Then, somehow, they came to planet Earth but found they were useless because WKH\ FRXOGQ W PRYH DERXW E\ Ă RDWing any more. So one of the brainier ones got into a monkey's head [...] and the rest is history. Like I say, it's just a theory.â€? Pilkington either unintentionally reduces people to tears of laughter, or leaves them dazed and confused. If you are one of the former, then Karlology is a vital addition to anyone’s collection of philosophy books. If you’re one of the latter, then, as Gervais says, it makes pretty good toilet paper too.

Why not tuck a little Northern gem in your Christmas stocking this year? The Wit and Wisdom of the North is a perfect idea for a giggle this Christmas. Be it poking fun at the miserable weather or quips on Rugby League, this book certainly offers Northernisms aplenty! Living in England’s most Northern city, it can’t be ignored that this is a wonderful compendium of all things from ‘oop North, as well as a hilarious Christmas gift. We all know that the North, like anywhere else, has stereotypes galore and these are exploited and mocked in this book of comedy gold. Rosemarie Jarski – a North East lass - pulls together a witty analysis of all the typical Northern traits. The book even houses a foreword from BBC Radio 2 presenter, Stuart Maconie, author of the bestselling book Pies and Prejudice. Whether you’re from the North or not, this book promises to offer something refreshingly amusing for anyone as its comic genius and relevant discussions are so apt to the region we know and love! So why not grab yourself a copy before you head for home this Christmas? You certainly won’t regret it!

6WXFN ZLWK LGHDV IRU VWRFNLQJ Ă€OOHUV this Christmas? :DQW WR Ă€QG VRPHWKLQJ WKDW LV D little more interesting than a pair of M&S socks or a satsuma? Look no further, for The Magna Farlet: Viz Roger’s Profanisaurus could well just be the perfect answer; well certainly for the male members of the family. Popular in the North-East during the 80s and 90s, TV personality Roger Mellie created this satirical comic Ă€OOHG ZLWK UDXFRXV VNHWFKHV ZRUGV and phrases unique to particular regions after his suspension over an ‘open mike’ incident, that involved a comment about Germaine Greer's potential need for more regular interaction with the male member. Very rude, crude and funny, it could be described as the perfect pocket sized comic dictionary to give the son, brother, mad uncle, father or even grandfather for Christmas. While academic in its tone, I feel that the Profanisaurus still makes an excellent reference for the educated layman. Regular study will undoubtedly lead to an increased vocabulary, which could prevent those awkward moments when you need to describe something outlandish and vulgar resulting in hilarious laughter. The Profanisaurus is guaranteed to be laugh out loud funny, and would also serve as great reading material for the downstairs loo.

Alice Vincent

Mark Corcoran-Lettice

Joe Barton

Laura Armitage

Daisy Wallis

28

CULTURE

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

Arts

Celebrating the bazaar Natalie Crick We were recently invited to celebrate the 5th birthday of Design Event 09, an astounding showcase of fashion illustration, graphic art and architecture. Revelling in the theme of ‘Politics and Play’, the festival honours imagination and originality in artists across the North East of England, with the desire of creating a supportive society of design and publicising our region as a goldmine of talent. This unusual motif of ‘Politics and Play’ unites a programme of miscellaneous events, which embrace all domains of design including installations, exhibitions, selling opportunities and a number of exciting design consultations. We enjoyed such North Eastern talent at assorted locations across three city regions, Middlesbrough, Sunderland and Newcastle upon Tyne, over ten thrilling days. The spectacle of the festival was Think Tank, an exploratory propaganda for our future society, now showing at the Northern Gallery for Contemporary Art. The exhibition is the fruition of participation between Britain’s prevailing policy think-tanks and top designers. Each artist has devised a piece to envisage and advertise one concept which could enrich our lives. Of the exhibition, Alain de Botton, the founder of the enigmatic Think Tank demos, says: “2009 will be the year when the question of how society should be arranged will cease to be an idle, abstract topic and will enter the mainstream with a vengeance. Everyone will become a political philosopher. � The exhibition asks us to think about our shared future and envisage how we could, together, create a

Credit Crunch Conspiracy

better society. You may have already missed out on one of the greatest attractions of Design Event 09; Design Event MART. A curated selling retrospective of artwork, displayed at the Baltic Centre for Contemporary Art, was exposed for our delight from 16th to 18th October 2009. Presenting thirteen of the region’s most prominent talent in design, the MART was a unique blend of recognized local designers and design JUDGXDWHV IURP 8QLYHUVLW\ ÀQDO GHgree shows. Still on hand to admire, highlights of Think Tank include Andrew Hutchinson’s Dalmatian Creations, a collection of handmade wooden items of furniture, devotedly constructed to tempt the old and the young. Airside, an award-winning design agency who have transformed the identity of digital graphics, are ready to showcase their work for our applause, while Ben Branagan, a London-based graphic designer whose work has illuminated galleries and the pages of Creative Review, collaborates with artists and charities such as the Cluster Munition Coalition. Youthful product designer Amy Levinson makes a fresh emergence at New Designers this year. Levinson proposes to enhance and advance the relationship between consumer and purchase, by creating a range of beautiful clocks, which employ product attachment as a form of sustainability, an important thesis of the festival. Think Tank is at the Northern Gallery for Contemporary Art, so take the time to be involved in imaginings of a better nation. Think Thank exhibits at the Northern Gallery for Contemporary Art from 17 October - 23 January 2010

Stephanie Ferrao Arts Editor Culture speaks to Newcastle graduate Dominic Varadi, whose new book The Credit Crunch Conspiracy has been hailed the Geordie Da Vinci Code. Let’s start with the background story! I went to university in Newcastle during the mid-eighties and have stayed in the North East for most of my life since then. My main career ZDV LQ SXEOLF Ă€QDQFH ² LQWR WKH FLYLO service and got an accounting qualiĂ€FDWLRQ JRW D MRE ZLWK WKH SXEOLF spending watchdog meaning that I have worked all over the country with various organisations. Given that you graduated with an Economics degree, how did you end up writing a book? I’ve always enjoyed writing and I actually wrote for the sports section of The Courier while I was at university. I did a lot of articles for the cross country and athletics club ² , ZDV SUDFWLFDOO\ WKHLU SUHVV RIĂ€FHU , DOVR ZURWH D QRYHO EHIRUH , went to university, but I never got it published because it wasn’t actually that good. As well as that, after I graduated I did a bit of journalism EHIRUH PRYLQJ LQWR Ă€QDQFH Your book deals with the blendLQJ RI IDFW DQG Ă€FWLRQ VXUURXQGLQJ the credit crunch – do you have any personal theories yourself?

<RXÂśUH VR 9DQH 5HĂ€HFWLRQV E\ *RK ,GHWD DW WKH 9DQH *DOOHU\

Head for the sticks for creative Christmas gifts Eleanor Wilson Award-winning local artist Mary Ann Rogers takes her inspiration from the nature that surrounds her studio to create her works, especially at this time of year - her favourite time to paint. She is thankful of a better autumn this year than last, as the colours in the hills, plants and moors have had their chance to develop properly, which obviously adds to her artwork. Her landscapes will be on show at her open days, forming part of the network artists’ Christmas Art Tour exhibition this winter.

A warm and festive welcome is promised to visitors, with mulled wine and mince pies and plenty of gift inspiration. There’s something for everyone; along with paintings and limited edition prints of landscapes, animals and birds (both native and exotic), Mary Ann also has Christmas cards and a range of quality gift items for sale featuring her paintings, includLQJ DSURQV FKLQD PXJV GXIà H EDJV and calico shopping bags. A 2010 calendar is also available with a seasonal painting for each month. It’s not all about the artist herself at the Christmas Open Studios as she has

guests bringing along their goodies too. Jeanette’s Chocolates will be in attendance, bringing along a large selection of luxury Dutch chocolates of all shapes and kinds, from rich fondant centres to chunky bars and luxury drinking chocolate. Jeannette’s husband Gerard van der Veen of Slate & Nature is bringing beautifully designed bird tables, feeders and baths (recycled IURP VHFRQG KDQG URRÀQJ VODWHV ideal to please parents as well as our feathered friends over the winter months! Jewellery by Linden Craven will also be available at Christmas Open

Studios, including her popular new range of pearl designs. Christmas Open Studios is located in Mary Ann’s purpose built gallery attached to her home just outside the village of West Woodburn, right on the edge of the stunning Northumberland National Park. The studios were built overlooking the river Rede, and across from the Roman fort Habitancum, with nearby Hadrian’s Wall adding to the historic feel of the area. Don’t miss this one! For more details about Mary Ann, her work and forthcoming exhibitions, visit www.marogers.com or telephone 01434 270216.

5HĂ€HFWLRQV SXWV QHZ DQJOH RQ LQVWDOODWLRQ DUW Natalie Crick Goh Ideta invites us into his world of illuminations. Prepared to be dazzled as we are engulfed by a sparNOLQJ ZDVK RI UHĂ HFWLRQV LQ ,GHWD¡V interactive light installation. Japanese artist Goh Ideta’s new exhibition 5HĂ HFWLRQV, staged at Vane Gallery, commands the participant’s DWWHQWLRQ DQG LQYROYHPHQW WR IXOĂ€O expectations of “intrigue and wonderâ€?. Inside this Aladdin’s cave, cushLRQHG Ă RRULQJ LV VZDWKHG ZLWK D glass web of mirrored tiling. As we are allured by the glittering ambience of the space, even the most delicate movement fashions dancing contours of luminosity. Goh Ideta is an artist originating

from Hokkaido, Japan. His work investigates human perceptions of illumination and space. Mischievous and interactive, Ideta calls for our presence, as visitors to his domain, to galvanize or consummate each exhibition. Ideta himself says that: “Human perception is the basis of everything. All of our information input reaches us through our sensors. Without these salient points we are nothing - no feelings, no action - nothing. Space is the dimension we live in, whereas light mediates the ability to perceive and register it. Two-thirds of our brain activity is interrelated with visual perception. %HFDXVH RI WKLV PHQWDO PRGLĂ€FDtion of information input, there is

always a gap between what we perceive and what is really there, and this often causes misunderstandings. It is an unstable balance.â€? Mirroring the brilliance of 5HĂ HFtions, Ideta’s previous shows are certainly enchanting. Following an exalted exposition at the Rijksakademie, Amsterdam, Ideta has exhibited internationally, including at the Novena Bienal de La Habana, Cuba in 2007, the 7th Werkleitz Biennale, Germany in 2006. Ideta was even honoured with ‘New Artist Picks’ at Yokohama Museum of Art, Japan in 2007. Ideta offered 5HĂ HFWLRQV as an ingredient of the Wunderbar Festival. 7KLV YLEUDQW Ă€HVWD RI YLVXDO DUW contemporary recital and bizarre

endeavours graced the North East for barely a week, embracing each spectator into the spirit of the event. $ORQJVLGH 5Hà HFWLRQV VHYHUDO RWKer exciting concepts triggered our senses. Tours of People’s Homes allowed us inside eleven charming dwellings in Newcastle, Gateshead and afar, on a themed sightsee by the proprietors themselves. Ideta’s intention in 5Hà HFWLRQV is to explore the curiosity inside of us, amidst a panorama founded in rariWLHV &RPH DQG ÀQG RXW ZKLOH WKH exhibition is still showing! Goh Ideta is showing at the Vane Gallery, from 6–28 November 2009 Opening hours are Wed-Sat 12-5pm

There’s been a lot made of the way in which the credit crunch has come about, and I’ve tried to explain in the book in much more everyday language how the events actually unfolded over a generation and how the boom was inevitably going to lead to a bust sometime, and we just weren’t really prepared for that. It’s amazing that some of the big decisions in the early years of the millennium actually made things worse and you do wonder whether there could have been anything going on beneath the surface. Did you have to undertake any Newcastle-based research for the book? I wanted to set the book in Newcastle because it’s the city I fell in love ZLWK ² , OLYHG WKHUH IRU DERXW WHQ years after university. My kids were born there and most of my friends are still around Newcastle and the wider North East. My understanding of the general economic climatehelps with explaining how the novel moves between the boardrooms and bars and landmarks of Tyneside. You seem to draw a lot on pub culture - what’s your favourite pub in Newcastle? The Crown Posada which is on the way down to the Quayside. It’s a traditional pub with a good range of ales! Do you have plans to write anything else? I have a lot of ideas in mind, but before I embark on other projects, I’d like to gauge how successful this Ă€UVW ERRN LV 7KHUH¡V DOVR WKH PDWWHU RI Ă€QGLQJ WLPH WR ZULWH WKLQJV it’s only recently that I’ve had time on my hands to write anything. I’ve enjoyed the experience, it was a lot of hard work and getting a book SXEOLVKHG DV D Ă€UVW WLPH DXWKRU LV D ORW PRUH GLIĂ€FXOW WKDQ \RX PLJKW imagine.

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

29

Film

CULTURE

Film )LOP (GLWRU )UDQFHV .URRQ FRXULHU FXOWXUH Âż OP#QFO DF XN

Don’t let an Orange ad ruin your movie > Is there too much advertising at the cinema? Camila Tessler An evening out at the cinema is an image that holds pretty strongly in our generation. You pay ridiculous prices for you seat, and then some more ridiculous prices for your bucket of popcorn. By the time you get your seat, with your snacks and drinks in tow, \RX¡UH RXW DERXW Ă€ IWHHQ WR WZHQW\ quid if you’re really going all out. But then that’s the price for seeing a movie on the big screen, and there isn’t really an experience that matches that, these days. Last week I went to the cinema to take my mind off my course and to blow off a little steam, and as usual, I arrived a few minutes early – habit for someone used to movie theatres where there’s no assigned seating. I anticipated the commercials before the trailers, as usual, but for some reason, on this particular day the commercials seemed longer than usual, and when I checked my watch I realised that it was a full Ă€ IWHHQ PLQXWHV DIWHU WKH VFKHGXOHG VWDUW WLPH RI WKH Ă€ OP When did advertisements suddenly take over cinema? Maybe this is my age showing, but I remember that as a kid, going to the movies

Dr Strangelove (1964) Grace Harvey So this week’s ‘Cult Classic’ again features one of Stanley Kubrick’s Ă€ QHVW EXW RQH ,¡P SUHWW\ VXUH LW¡V not the one you’re anticipating. When we think of cult-master Kubrick, it’s usually A Clockwork Orange (covered last week) or The Shining EXW WKHVH Ă€ OPV DUH WR EH IUDQN too clichĂŠ and really don’t get to the

Jingle All the Way (1996) Adam Williams Most movies starring Arnold Schwarzenegger tend to be pretty empty affairs. But Jingle All the :D\ GHĂ€ QLWHO\ VWDQGV RXW DORQJVLGH Kindergarten Cop, as one of his best Ă€ OPV WKDW LV VR EDG LW¡V JRRG We’ve all put our parents through the hell of getting us that “must haveâ€? toy for Christmas and this

meant three trailers and then the main attraction. 1RZ LW¡V D IXOO Ă€ IWHHQ PLQXWHV RI DGV DQG WKHQ DQRWKHU Ă€ IWHHQ RI WUDLO ers. That alone puts a usual movie to two and a half hours, and causes a sweeping epic to feel like you’ve just lived a whole lifetime in the cin-

ema. And while some of them are pretty clever and not all that torturous to sit through, like the Orange two-forone Wednesday ads, some of them you just want to sleep through. May I draw your attention to any ad that heavily features a car?

heart of Kubrick’s genius. This is where Dr Strangelove Ă LHV LQ 7KRXJK WKLV Ă€ OP UHPDLQV IDLUO\ unknown to most, it’s certainly been one of his better received, winning numerous Oscars and BAFTAs. The story follows a US general PDNLQJ D Ă€ UVW VWULNH DWWDFN RQ WKH Soviet Union and the attempt to recall the bombers to prevent nuclear warfare. It features cinematic legend Peter Sellers playing three very different and distinct roles including the title character of Dr. Strangelove, a somewhat ‘unconventional’ wheelbound German scientist. Satirising the nuclear scare and the Cold War, Dr Strangelove destroys boundaries with such memorable KXPRXU ´<RX FDQ¡W Ă€ JKW LQ KHUH This is the war room!â€? has to be one the greatest quotes in cinematic history.

,Q XVXDO .XEULFN IDVKLRQ WKH À OP is full of sexual images and humour; the iconic, orgasmic atomic bomb that Kong rides between his legs is ample proof of this. But it isn’t actually surprising that we aren’t really familiar with Dr Strangelove. 0RVW À OPV WKDW VHOO RXW DW WKH ER[ RIÀ FH DUH IXOO RI &*, animation and crude and inane humour, so it’s hardly shocking that a black and white, cold war satire doesn’t particularly appeal to the average cinema goer. 7KLV VDLG WKLV À OP KDV LQVSLUHG D generation of cultural innovators and iconoclasts. It’s the wittiest of witty, the blackest of black comedies, and one of the most piercing and disturbing SROLWLFDO VDWLUHV LQ À OP KLVWRU\ DQG these reasons are precisely why you should watch it.

À OP FHQWUHV RQ WKDW IDPLOLDU VLWXD tion. After missing his son’s karate tournament, Howard Langston (Schwarzenegger) tries to make amends by promising to buy his son the much sought after Turbo-Man DFWLRQ À JXUH IRU &KULVWPDV Naturally, Howard forgets to buy the toy, and since it’s now Christmas Eve, it’s sold out at every store in town. 7KH À OP UHYROYHV DURXQG KLV PLV VLRQ WR WUDFN GRZQ DQ DFWLRQ À JXUH in order to save his family’s Christmas, as well as his marriage which is threatened when a charming divorcee moves in next door. He is joined in his chase by Myron Larabee (Sinbad) who is looking for a toy for his own son and the pair face off in a series of increasingly elaborate situations which culmi-

nates in them both gate crashing a Christmas parade, all the while still WU\LQJ WR Ă€ QG WKH WR\ IRU WKHLU NLG 7KH Ă€ OP¡V GLUHFWRU %ULDQ /HYDQW was nominated for a ‘Worst DirecWRU¡ DZDUG IRU WKLV Ă€ OP DQG LW ZDV universally panned at the time of its release. However, despite all its failings, there’s a certain charm in the overexaggerated acting and appalling special effects. It’s sickeningly materialistic, continually glorifying the commercialism of Christmas, but always with a knowing nod towards the audience. As for Schwarzenegger, he’s more plastic that the toys themselves but that doesn’t matter - it’s a total cheese-fest that is perfect for this time of year.

Who really would be swayed by an ad for an automobile in a movie theatre? I’m sure it’s not just myself I’m speaking for, when I say that I just get impatient, and worse, bored. Are cinemas really in that much trouble that ad-space has suddenly become a commodity that they’re

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) Jonathan David Lim What else can be said about this clasVLF À OP" $V IDU DV P\ IDPLO\ LV FRQ cerned, Christmas hasn’t started yet until we’ve had our annual viewing of It’s a Wonderful Life. )RU RYHU VL[W\ \HDUV WKH À OP has established itself as a perennial Christmas masterpiece, and for good reasons. Stewart’s performance as the suicidal George Bailey is top-notch, and Donna Reed is equally perfect as wife Mary Hatch Bailey. :KLOH ORQJ WKH À OP ERDVWV D UXQW ime of 130 minutes), the pacing is excellent, jumping from the present

willing to sell at the expense of the audience’s time? Or is this a sign of WKH GLIĂ€ FXOW HFRQRPLF WLPHV ZH¡UH LQ with the added pressures of blatant internet piracy combined with people preferring to save a few pounds by waiting for movies to be released on DVD? The fact is that audiences already pay a high price to enjoy a night out at the cinemas. I don’t begrudge the studio trailers; even in this internet age it is doubtful that a majority of audiences are fastened to watching trailers on YouTube and it is the priPDU\ ZD\ WKDW VWXGLRV JHW QHZ Ă€ OPV into the public arena. +RZHYHU ZK\ DP , SD\LQJ IRU Ă€ I teen to twenty minutes of commercials every time I want to go out and watch a new blockbuster? Shouldn’t the price of my ticket cover the privilege of going ad-free, or at least adlight? Maybe if ticket and snack prices weren’t so high, people would take trips to the cinema more often and MXVW DV D JRRG ZD\ WR Ă€ OO DQ HPSW\ weekend or evening. But price is something that isn’t likely to change anytime soon, and it is more a sign of complacency now on the audience’s behalf that they expect to pay a high price and sit through endless big budget ads for 5 chewing gum. I suppose then all there’s left to say is pass the popcorn; Mazda’s latest commercial is on.

to the past, and into the alternate past sans George. 7KH Ă€ OP LV D VWXQQLQJ SLHFH RQ WKH importance of family, friendship, and being true to oneself. Of course, it wasn’t always thought of this way. Coming just under Miracle on 34th Street in terms of ticket sales on its opening weekend, the Ă€ OP ZDV FRQVLGHUHG QDwYH DQG RYHU ly simple. Film critic Bosley Crowther of The New York Times said it had an “illusory concept of life.â€? A bit harsh, FRQVLGHULQJ WKH Ă€ OP LV LQ HVVHQFH D work of fantasy. Nevertheless, thanks to repeated television viewings since the 1970s, It’s a Wonderful Life has become a staple of Christmas cinema. It has since graced top ten counts on Channel 4 and the American Film Institute, and has been parodied on dozens of television series. Make sure you catch It’s a Wonderful Life at the Tyneside Cinema, from Friday 11th December.

30

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

CULTURE

Reviews

phobias; the fear of the dark, the unNQRZQ DQG PRVW LPSRUWDQWO\ ZKDW may be occurring in your bedroom ZKLOH \RX DUH VOHHSLQJ DQG DW \RXU PRVW YXOQHUDEOH

The story is fairly simple - a young FRXSOH EHOLHYH WKDW WKH\¡UH EHLQJ haunted by a supernatural force and VHW D YLGHR FDPHUD RYHUORRNLQJ WKHLU bedroom to capture this paranormal

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business is to try and get the head of WKH JDQJ OLIH LQ MDLO DQG 'DUE\ WKH JDQJ PHPEHU ZKR GLG DOO WKH GLUW\ ZRUN JHW \HDUV &O\GH DJUHHV WR WKLV KRZHYHU ZKHQ KH ODWHU VHHV 1LFN VKDNLQJ 'DUE\¡V KDQG DIWHU WKH KHDULQJ RI WKH VHQWHQFH KH VXVSHFWV IRXO SOD\ This sets the scene for the rest of the PRYLH ZKLFK FRQWLQXHV WHQ \HDUV ODWHU ,Q WKLV WLPH 1LFN DQG KLV ZLIH KDYH KDG D FKLOG DQG 1LFN KDV FRQWLQXHG WR VXFFHVVIXOO\ SXW DZD\ WKH FULPLQDOV RI 3KLODGHOSKLD $OO LV ZHOO RU VR LW VHHPV :KHQ 'DUE\ LV UHOHDVHG IURP SULVon, he is not a free man for long after

being brutally murdered not long afWHU KLV UHOHDVH $V WKH Ă€OP SURJUHVVHV RQH E\ RQH DOO WKRVH LQYROYHG LQ the case of Clyde Shelton and his family coincidentally get killed and LW LV XS WR 1LFN DQG RWKHU LQYHVWLJDWLQJ RIĂ€FHUV WR Ă€QG WKH NLOOHU 7KLV Ă€OP LV RQH WKDW WHVWV KRZ IDU D PDQ FDQ JR WR VHHN UHYHQJH ZKHQ he feels the justice system has failed KLP D ÂśODZ DELGLQJ FLWL]HQ ¡ The performances of both Foxx DQG %XWOHU DUH Ă€UVW FODVV ZLWK %XWOHU in particular really excelling in his UROH +LV SRUWUD\DO RI &O\GH 6KHOWRQ is second to none as he captures the YHU\ HVVHQFH RI D GHVSHUDWH PDQ ZKLOVW DYRLGLQJ WKH FOLFKpV RI WKH

ZLWK WKDW SRVW FLQHPD IHHOLQJ RI HOHYDWLRQ GHVSLWH WKH NLG NLFNLQJ PH LQ the back of the seat for the entirety RI WKH Ă€OP Nativity focuses on the life of priPDU\ VFKRRO WHDFKHU 0U 0DGGHQ¡V )UHHPDQ ZKR LV JLYHQ WKH MRE RI RUJDQLVLQJ WKH VFKRRO QDWLYLW\ 7KH Ă€OP ZRUNV RQ WKH SUHPLVH WKDW 0U 0DGGHQ LV D 6FURRJH W\SH Ă€JXUH ZKRVH JLUOIULHQG -HQQLIHU $VKley Jensen) left him one Christmas to SXUVXH D FDUHHU LQ +ROO\ZRRG DQG QRZ KH UHIXVHV WR FHOHEUDWH WKH IHVWLYLWLHV RI WKH VHDVRQ +H IXQ DQG IUROLFV VWDUW ZKHQ 0U 3RSS\ LV DVVLJQHG WR 0U 0DGGHQ¡V DV D FODVVURRP DVVLVWDQW 0U 3RSS\ EHLQJ VRPHZKDW RI D child himself (or at least a remedial DGXOW LV HQDPRXUHG ZLWK WKH SURVSHFW RI GLUHFWLQJ WKH QDWLYLW\ DQG

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Planet 51

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Dir: F Gary Gray Cast: Jamie Foxx, Gerard Butler Runtime: 109 mins

Nativity! Dir: Debbie Isitt Cast: Martin Freeman, Ashley Jensen, Pam Ferris, Marc Wootton Runtime: 105 mins Anyone listening to Radio 1’s James .LQJ UHYLHZ RI 1DWLYLW\ ODVW ZHHN ZLOO KDYH QRWHG KLV LPPHGLDWH PLVWUXVW DW DQ\ ÀOP IHDWXULQJ DQ H[FODPDWLRQ PDUN LQ LWV WLWOH This is a feeling I generally share; the exclamation sign being a sign of DQ\ ÀOP WKDW VFUHDPV œORRN DW PH I’m zany’, in the manner of an E4 SUHVHQWHU +RZHYHU DOWKRXJK , ZHQW WR WKH cinema not expecting a lot, I left feeling not just presently surprised, but

Dir: Jorge Blanco and Javier Abad Cast: Dwayne “The Rockâ€? Johnson, Justin Long, Jessica Biel, Gary Oldman Runtime: 91 minutes I’ll admit, freely, that I’m a sucker IRU DQLPDWHG Ă€OPV , ORYH KRZ DQLPDWLRQ FDQ EULQJ WR OLIH ZRUOGV WKDW FDQ¡W SRVVLEO\ H[LVW HYHQ WUDQVFHQGing the limitations of actors and imDJLQDWLRQ Planet 51 does just that by taking the audience to a planet inhabited by D UDFH RI JUHHQ SHRSOH ZLWK DQWHQQD RQ WKHLU KHDGV ZKR GLIIHU IURP KXmans by only their appearance and DERXW VL[W\ \HDUV RI VRFLDO JURZWK +RZHYHU WKLQJV DUH TXLFNO\ WXUQHG XSVLGH GRZQ ZKHQ D KXPDQ

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Frances Kroon

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Camila Tessler

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

31

Film

Previews

CULTURE

7RS &KULVWPDV ÀOPV Jonathan David Lim With The Courier and its readers heading home for the holidays, I have (out of the goodness of my KHDUW JLYHQ \RX ÀOPLHV D VKRUW FRPSHQGLXP RI &KULVWPDV ÀOPV WR NHHS you going until next semester.

1. Home Alone I & II (1990) <RX NQRZ WKH VWRU\ 0DFDXOD\ &XONLQ JHWV OHIW EHKLQG IHQGV RII D SDLU RI ZRXOG EH UREEHUV DQG KDV D EODVW GRLQJ LW $ PRGHUQ FODVVLF LQ HYHU\ ZD\ 'RQ·W IRUJHW WKH VHTXHO ZLWK 7LP &XUU\ DV D EXPEOLQJ KRWHO manager.

Avatar Dir: James Cameron Cast: Zoe Saldana, Sam Worthington, Michelle Rodriguez ,Q D FHUWDLQ ÀOP FDOOHG Titanic ZDV UHOHDVHG LW ZHQW RQ WR EUHDN DOO ER[ RIÀFH UHFRUGV WKDW \HDU ZLQ $FDGHP\ $ZDUGV DQG -DPHV &DPHURQ WKH ÀOP·V GLUHFWRU TXLWH ULJKWO\ SURFODLPHG KLPVHOI NLQJ RI WKH ZRUOG ,Q &DPHURQ LV EDFN DQG UHDG\ WR SURYH WKDW·V VWLOO WKH FDVH KLV QHZ ÀOP $YDWDU LV VXSSRVHG WR EH D JDPH FKDQJHU D ÀOP RI VXFK PDJQLWXGH DQG WHFKQLFDO LPSRUWDQFH WKDW LW ZLOO FKDQJH WKH ZD\ ÀOPV DUH PDGH DQG ZDWFKHG IRUHYHU EXW KRZ FDQ DQ\ RQH ÀOP OLYH XS WR VXFK KXJH K\SH Avatar VWDUV 6DP :RUWKLQJWRQ DV -DNH 6XOO\ D FULSSOHG H[ PDULQH ZKR

Where The Wild Things Are Dir: Spike Jonze Cast: Max Records, Pepita Emmerichs ,W·V &KULVWPDV 7KHUH·V WKHUHIRUH DQ REOLJDWRU\ FKLOGUHQ·V ÀOP WR FRPH DQG VWHDO WKH VWDUOLJKW DW WKH ER[ RIÀFH %XW VLFN RI WKH QHZ 6KUHN RQH ² ZH·UH ERUHG RI KLV XJO\ IDFH DOUHDG\ ² DQG WKDW WKLQJ ZLWK WKH GRJ WKLV \HDU ,·P JRLQJ WR EH UHOLVKLQJ LQ :KHUH 7KH :LOG 7KLQJV $UH 2N VR LW·V MXVWLÀHG QRZ EXW ,·YH WHFKQLFDOO\ EHHQ ZDLWLQJ IRU WKLV UHOHDVH VLQFH $SULO ZKHQ , ÀUVW KHDUG DERXW LW )RU WKRVH RI \RX ZKRVH FKLOGKRRG OLYHV ZHUHQ·W LPSURYHG E\ 0DXULFH 6HQGDN·V ZHLUG NLGV· ERRNV WKHQ

Nowhere Boy Dir: Sam – Taylor Wood Cast: Aaron Johnson, Thomas Sangster, Anne–Marie Duff 7KH PXVLF ELRSLF DV RI ODWH KDV FHPHQWHG LWVHOI DV D SRSXODU JHQUH LQWURGXFLQJ LFRQLF PXVLFLDQV WR younger generations. ,Q GLUHFWRU 6DP 7D\ORU :RRGV· ÀOP GHEXW Nowhere Boy VKRZFDVHV WKH WXUEXOHQW WHHQDJH \HDUV RI -RKQ /HQQRQ LQ V /LYHUSRRO :ULWWHQ E\ 0DWW *UHHQKDOJK DXWKRU RI ,DQ &XUWLV·V ELRSLF &RQWURO WKH ÀOP LV VHW WR IROORZ D VLPLODU VW\OH IRFXVLQJ RQ WKH LQWLPDWH GUDPD DQG UHODWLRQVKLSV WKDW PDGH /HQQRQ WKH LFRQ KH ZDV 1HZFRPHU $DURQ -RKQVRQ ZKR SOD\V /HQQRQ GHSLFWV KLP DV EHLQJ

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WR WKH HTXDWLRQ HDUO\ %HDWOHV JLJV LFRQLF /HQQRQ VRQJV DQG WXUEXOHQW LQQHU FRQÁLFW \RX KDYH D ÀOP WKDW LV QRW VWULFWO\ IRU %HDWOHV IDQV EXW IRU everyone. 7KH ÀOP ZLOO SUREDEO\ QRW UHDFK WKH PRQROLWKLF KHLJKWV RI RWKHU &KULVWPDV EORFNEXVWHUV EXW LWV IXOO VXSSRUW IURP WKH 8. ÀOP FRPPXQLW\ :LWK IXQGLQJ IURP )LOP DQG WKH 8. )LOP &RXQFLO LW KDV DOUHDG\ SURYHG WR EH D QHFHVVDU\ WULEXWH WR DQ %ULWLVK LFRQ 5HJDUGOHVV RI ZKHWKHU \RX OLNH WKH %HDWOHV· PXVLF WKH ÀOP ZLOO EH D VKRZFDVH RI ERWK %ULWLVK GLUHFWRULDO DQG GUDPDWLF WDOHQW DQG D HVFDSLVW GHOYH LQWR WKH PXVLF DQG VSLULW RI WKH V

Pete Duggan

Chris Binding

6WRS PRWLRQ DQLPDWLRQ DW LWV EHVW 7KLV VHUYHV DV D GRXEOH KROLGD\ ÀOP &KULVWPDV DQG +DOORZHHQ *RRG VSRRN\ IXQ WKDW VKRZV ZKDW LW PHDQV WR EH \RXUVHOI

7. How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966) &ORFNLQJ LQ DW WZHQW\ VL[ PLQXWHV WKH EULOOLDQWO\ DQLPDWHG VKRUW VWDUULQJ %RULV .DUORII LV D IDU PRUH IDYRXUDEOH DGDSWDWLRQ WR WKH 'U 6HXVV FODVVLF WKDQ WKH OLYH DFWLRQ UHPDNH

8. Miracle on 34th Street (1947/1994) 2. A Christmas Carol (1951) :KDW·V &KULVWPDV ZLWKRXW 'LFNHQV" 7KH RULJLQDO FODVVLF DGDSWDWLRQ LV ZLGHO\ UHJDUGHG DV RQH RI WKH EHVW EXW OHW·V QRW IRUJHW Scrooged (1988) or The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992).

Alice Vincent

6. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

3. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) (YHU\RQH·V PXP·V IDYH &KULVWPDV ÀOP DQG -LPP\ 6WHZDUW DW KLV EHVW (see full feature on page 29).

4. A Christmas Story (1983)

:KR NQHZ WKDW D GHSDUWPHQW VWRUH 6DQWD ZRXOG EH WKH UHDO )DWKHU &KULVWPDV" 7KH RULJLQDO LV PRUH XSEHDW WKDQ WKH UHPDNH EXW ERWK WHOO WKH VDPH VWRU\ ,Q RWKHU ZRUGV QRZ LQ FRORXU

9. Jingle All the Way (1996) 3HUKDSV WKH ZRUVW &KULVWPDV ÀOP RI DOO WLPH LW JUDQWV LQFOXVLRQ VLPSO\ IRU EHLQJ GUHDGIXO 6FKZDU]HQHJJHU KXQWV IRU D 7XUER 0DQ GROO ZRUGV KH FDQ·W HYHQ VD\ 6HULRXVO\ LV LW ¶7ZHUUER 0DQJ"· ¶7DLUER 0HQ"· *UHDW IXQ LI \RX·UH LQ ZLWK \RXU mates and have plenty of mulled ZLQH

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5. The Snowman (1982) 8S WKHUH ZLWK E.T as one of the sadGHVW ÀOPV HYHU PDGH WKLV &KULVWPDV FODVVLF WHOOV WKH WDOH RI D \RXQJ ER\ ZKR EHIULHQGV KLV VQRZPDQ %HDXWLIXO DQLPDWLRQ EHDXWLIXO VRXQGWUDFN DQG ZKDW D EHDXWLIXO ÀOP

10. The Santa Clause (1994) 7LP $OOHQ·V NLOOHG 6DQWD &ODXV DQG PXVW QRZ GRQ WKH UHG FORDN DQG FDS JURZ D ELJ ZKLWH EHDUG DQG SXW RQ ZHLJKW WR ÀOO WKH PLVVLQJ UROH RI )DWKHU &KULVWPDV $ NLG·V FRPHG\ WKDW KDV VLQFH VSDZQHG WZR VHTXHOV 7KHUH \RX JR D ZKROH OLEUDU\ RI '9'V DW \RXU GLVSRVDO 6R VLS \RXU KRW FKRFRODWH FKHZ GRZQ \RXU PLQFH SLHV VLW EDFN DQG HQMR\ WKH VKRZ 0HUU\ &KULVWPDV

32

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

CULTURE

Music

Music Music Editors: Mark Corcoran-Lettice and Chris Mandle - courier.culture-music@ncl.ac.uk

The Courier Albums Of The Year Collective 1) Animal Merriweather Post Pavillion

xx 2) The XX

Coming out at the start of the year to critical acclaim, Merriweather Post Pavillion’s mixture of experimental electronic textures and pristine pop song writing has seen Animal Collective reach a new audience: it’s a formidable achievement indeed and one of our writers has decided to crown it the best album of 2009. Enjoy the holidays lads: after an album as good as this, you’ve certainly deserved it.

Yeah Yeahs 3) Yeah It’s Blitz!

Without a doubt, The xx produced one of the most distinctive, memorable and unexpected debut albums of the year. Combining disquieting minimalism with heart-wrenching harmonies, songs like ‘Crystalised’ and ‘Basic Space’ have led to a metoric rise for the band - and if they can keep this year’s remarkable momentum going in 2010, there’s no limit to what they could go on to achieve.

Beasts 4) Wild Two Dancers Can Karen O and co. do no wrong? Our writers certainly seem to agree, placing the Brooklyn trio’s third full-length album It’s Blitz! to the giddy heights of our top ten. Adding synth glitz to their sound this time out, It’s Blitz! is the alEXP WKDW FRQĂ€ UPV WKHP DV QRW MXVW D Ă DVK LQ WKH SDQ EXW D EDQG WKDW¡V built to last.

Last year’s vaudeville debut Limbo, Panto may have had its share of admirers, but few could have predicted the leap forward that Wild Beasts made with Two Dancers: streamlining their sound while simultaneously digging deeper into LQà XHQFHV UDQJLQJ IURP WKH SRVW rock of Talk Talk to Kate Bush. Quite unlike anything else out there.

Runners-Up: 11) Dananananaykroyd Hey Everyone! 12) Micachu - Jewellery 13) Bat For Lashes - Two Suns 14) Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest 15) Muse - The Resistance 16) Fight Like Apes Fight Like Apes and the Mystery of the Golden Medallion 17) Biffy Clyro - Only Revoltuions 18) White Lies - To Lose My Life 19) Future Of The Left - Travels With Myself and Another 20) The Flaming Lips Embryonic

EDITOR’S TOP TENS

Horrors 5) The Primary Colours

Pains Of Being Pure At Heart 6) The The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart Talk about a turn-around. Changing from much-mocked pseudoGoth rockers to Mercury Prize contenders in just under a year is quite something, but it’s nothing compared to the expanse of The Horrors’ second album Primary Colours. Shifting from post-punk fury and Krautrock rhythms to shoegaze beauty, Primary Colours is the sound of band reborn.

New 7) Brand Daisy

In just ten tracks and thirty-four minutes, The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart became the favourite new band of every lovelorn indie kid around the planet. Filled to the brim with fuzzy hooks and undeniable melodies, few bands arrive this fully formed: when the songs are this good, who needs the next big sound?

8) Kasabian West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum They’ve been favourites of the more discerning emo listener for some time, but with fourth album Daisy, Brand New made a leap to a new level of stardom and acclaim. Perhaps their most cohesive album to date, it’s a record some of our writers have truly taken to heart, and one whose qualities are hard to ignore.

Street Preachers 9) Manic Journal for Plague Lovers When they announced their intention to record an album of unused Richey Edwards lyrics, many Manic Street Preachers fans feared the worst. But from the instantly iconic Jenny Saville artwork onwards, Journal for Plague Lovers saw the Manics on their best form this decade, and doing their lost friend justice in the process.

:KHQ WKH\¡YH QRW EHHQ Ă€ OOLQJ RXW the arenas of the country with ease, Kasabian have also spent the year shifting copies of their new album West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum by the truck-load. Full of inescapeable anthems like ‘Fire’, it’s been one of the year’s biggest releases, and unsurprisingly it’s now found a home in our list.

& The Machine 10) Florence Lungs Florence Welch has been one of 2009’s most notable success stories, and the release of her debut album Lungs cemented this. Hit singles like ‘Dog Days Are Over’ and ‘Drumming Song’ made it ever-present over the airwaves, and more than a few of our writers seem to have taken her to their (rabbit) hearts.

Mark Corcoran-Lettice 1) Wild Beasts - Two Dancers 2) Animal Collective Merriweather Post Pavillion 3) Manic Street Preachers - Journal for Plague Lovers 4) Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest 5) St. Vincent - Actor 6) The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart 7) Micachu - Jewellery 8) Mos Def - The Ecstatic 9) The Twilight Sad - Forget The Night Ahead 10) Fever Ray - Fever Ray Chris Mandle 1) The Big Pink - A Brief History of Love 2) Jamie T - Kings & Queens 3) Miike Snow - Animal 4) White Lies - To Lose My Life 5) The Maccabees - Wall Of Arms 6) Marmaduke Duke Duke Pandamonium 7) Empire Of The Sun Empire Of The Sun 8) Passion Pit - Manners 9) Wild Beasts - Two Dancers 10) Kasabian - West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

33

Music

CULTURE

2009: the verdict Mark Corcoran-Lettice Music Editor ,·OO EH WKH À UVW WR DGPLW WU\LQJ WR FRPSLOH \RXU IDYRXULWH DOEXPV OLNH WU\LQJ WR FRPSLOH DQ\WKLQJ LQWR D OLVW LV D VRPHZKDW DUELWUDU\ WDVN <HW ZKHQ LW FDPH IRU PH WR W\SH XS P\ OLVW , MXVW FRXOGQ·W GHFLGH 7KLQJ LV ² DQG IHHO IUHH WR GLVDJUHH VKRXOG \RX VR FKRRVH ² , UHFNRQ WKLV PLJKW EH RQH RI WKH EHVW \HDUV LQ PXVLF WKLV GHFDGH ,Q Two Dancers DQG Merriweather Post Pavilion ZH KDYH WZR DOEXPV EXLOW WR VWDQG WKH WHVWV RI WLPH ,Q Jewellery DQG The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart ZH KDYH WZR UHPDUNDEOH GHEXWV %XW WKLV \HDU KDV EHHQ WUXO\ LQ FUHGLEOH ,·G OLNH WR JLYH D QRG RI WKH FDS WR D IHZ JUHDW UHFRUGV WKDW GLGQ·W PDNH LW WR P\ WRS WHQ WR WKH HYHU URZG\ )XWXUH RI WKH /HIW·V Travels With Myself And Another WR WKH IHURFLRXV HOHFWURQLFV RI )XFN %XWWRQV· Tarot Sport WKH QXPHURXV JUHDW KLS KRS FRPHEDFNV WKH \HDU KDV VHHQ ZLWK PRUH WKDQ ZHOFRPH UHWXUQV E\ '220 5DHNZRQ DQG WKH $QWL 3RS &ROOHFWLYH DOO VWDQG LQJ XS WR WKHLU IRUPLGDEOH EDFN FDWDORJXHV WKH HYHU WRXFKLQJ 7KH 0RXQWDLQ *RDWV WKH HQGOHVVO\ HQ

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We have basked in a glorious year of music... and there’s plenty to look Chris Mandle forward to in the next Music Editor decade 'HVSLWH IROORZLQJ 1RYHPEHU DQG SUHFHGLQJ -DQXDU\ DV SHU XVXDO ,·P VWLOO UHHOLQJ IURP WKH VKRFN WKDW LW LV 'HFHPEHU RQFH DJDLQ :KLOH WKH PRQWKV VHHP WR KDYH VSHG E\ DQG OHIW XV HIIRUWOHVVO\ VRPHKRZ ZKHQ ORRNLQJ EDFN RQ WKH \HDU LQ PXVLF D TXLFN MRXUQH\ FDQ DFWXDOO\ VHHP OLNH D ORQJ DQG H[SDQVLYH WUHN :H·YH KDG PLFURSKRQH ZLHOGLQJ IHPPH IDWDOHV VWULGH SRZHUIXOO\ LQWR WKH \HDU WKH GHDWK RI 0LFKDHO -DFNVRQ KDV SODJXHG IDQV OLNH DQ DOO WRR WUXH JDPH RI Cluedo DQG 2DVLV KDYH GRQH ZKDW WKH\ VKRXOG KDYH GRQH VRPH WLPH DJR DQG VSOLW XS 0\ KDV EHHQ DZDVK ZLWK JXLOW\ SOHDVXUHV /LWWOH %RRWV /D

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Best Video Lady Gaga

Best Singles Dananananaykroyd, Wild Beasts and Animal Collective

Best Festival V Festival 2009

Best Album Art The xx, Jay-Z and Animal Collective

Best Celebrity Kanye West

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Tom Richards

Daniel Kielty

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Elliot Bentley

Olivia Mason

Alice Vincent - Culture Editor

34

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

CULTURE

Music

Year by year 2000 As the new millennium began, so too did the downwards spiral of the music industry, as Napster brought illegal downloading to the masses, preceding a decade of Limewire and

2001 Linkin Park and P.O.D. dominated the airwaves, Slipknot emblazoned countless hoodies across the land, DQG WKH À UVW VLJQV WKDW )UHG 'LUVW was (and is) a complete bell-end became all too apparent. Whilst a few albums from the period seem to have stood the test of time –SOAD’s Toxicity, Tool’s Lateralus, and Muse’s Origin of Symmetry - much of it has become our generation’s version of prog rock‌ well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

2002 After the American takeover of the previous year, 2002 saw an emergence of a new UK scene in music. At the forefront of this movement, it’s hard to deny the impact that The Libertines and their debut Up

2003 2003 saw the rise and fall of the likes of Busted, Avril Lavigne and The 'DUNQHVV GHVSLWH WKH OHDWKHU Ă DUHV It was also the year that many of us

2004 2004 was a big year. A really big year. Some of today’s biggest artists released their debut albums: see The Killers, Kasabian, Franz Ferdinand, Kanye West and more – oh

2005 Some evil genius animated Crazy Frog, put his incredibly annoying voice to the tune of ‘Beverly Hills’ cop and beat Coldplay to number one. Kanye West had critical ac-

2006 2006 was a year of makes and breaks, most notably with Take That reforming, and to this day producing songs we all say we hate, but

2007 2007’s greatest legacy was in laying the ground for dubstep to go over ground: while more introverted

2008 2008 saw releases from some of the biggest players in music, underwhelming or otherwise, whilst PRUH UHFHQW EDQGV À UPO\ HVWDE lished themselves as such. Metallica, AC/DC, Coldplay, Guns N Roses et al.’s latest releases all demonstrated themselves as true institutions, whilst The Killers and

2009 2009 can be characterised as the year of the female artist. In the UK we’ve had La Roux, Florence and the Machine and Little Boots, while international Queen BeyoncÊ and the wonderfully weird Lady Gaga have reigned supreme. This year has seen Spotify transform the face of the music industry,

Bittorrent. ‘90s girl and boy bands began to fade into the distance, as big commercial R&B and hip-hop acts grew in popularity; such as Eminemwhose The Marshall Mathers LP became the fastest selling hip-hop al-

2000-2009: A bum of all time as well as launching Dido into the stratosphere. Meanwhile, Radiohead, one of the biggest Brit-rock acts of the nineties, shocked the world with the electronic nu-jazz of Kid A, while Coldplay scooped up disenfranchised

Radiohead fans with their debut Parachutes. The biggest-selling single of the year was also the Christmas number one: ‘Can We Fix It’, as sung by Bob The Builder. Beating Robbie Williams, Madonna and Westlife to the

top, it also set an early low for the decade in terms of novelty pop music. (Elliot Bentley)

the Bracket had on the sound that has developed since. Released in the latter half of the year, after months of hype from the NME et al, there were high expectations not only for the content of the record, but the image and fervour it could produce in a home grown acts. Its effects were

of little disappointment, with the band becoming a journalist’s dream RI URFN FOLFKpV DQG GHÀ QLQJ D VHQVL bility of what music wanted to do at that time. At the other end of the musical spectrum, Girls Aloud was being manufactured by the nation. TV

talent shows have had varying degrees of success over the years, but this group is surely their greatest export. Just making it into 2002 with the Christmas number one ‘Sound of the Underground’, their surprisingly refreshing sound meant their

sustainability of a pop act was in no way surprising. From one end of music to the other, there’s no debating that the sound of 2002 was distinctly British. (Polly Randall)

were introduced to the idea of girls kissing each other, through the all too graphic music video of tATu. 2003 was a big year also for Beyonce, who hit single ‘Crazy in Love’, has now (somewhat surpris-

ingly) been named as NME’s track of the decade. Also in 2003, the Red Hot Chili Peppers cemented their long term success with a greatest hits album. Jack White took step towards legendary

status with the fourth album by The White Stripes, Elephant. Dizzee Rascal burst out of the shackles of Channel U and into nationwide acclaim by winning the Mercury Music Prize. Incidentally, 2003 saw Mr

Rascal involved in a dispute with Rap Group So Solid Crew - Dizzee was stabbed six times while performing in Cyprus, but it was never proved that there was a connection to the feud. (Henry Jones)

yes, James Blunt release his debut this year as well. Hmm. In the singles charts there were some absolute corkers, as Snoop Dogg released ‘Drop It Like It’s Hot’ and the decade’s best pop song came courtesy of AndrĂŠ 3000

with ‘Hey Ya!’ But, for me, 2004 truly belongs to two bands and their debuts. The Futureheads was packed full of boundless energy, joyous harmonies, songs about robots and the occasional Kate Bush cover, embodying

everything that was brilliant about the UK scene. Arcade Fire’s Funeral took an entirely different route, changing what seemed acceptable for a whole new generation of indie artists. Positively orchestral instrumentation, heart-ache crescendos

DQG D OLIH DIĂ€ UPLQJ PHVVDJH DOO combined to make an album that has since burrowed its way into the psyche of almost every music fan I know, and that alone makes 2004 one of the best years for music this decade has produced. (Joe Skrebels)

claim with Late Registration and hadn’t knocked the teeth out of any Newcastle photographers yet. Madonna brutally strapped herself into spandex and sampled ABBA for “Hung Up�. Live 8 happened – and everybody still forgot that

Midge Ure was involved as well. However, I do remember one exceptional musical event of 2005- the Mercury awards. Without doubt, 2005 saw the most formidable Mercury line-up this decade, and I was introduced to music that has stayed

with me throughout the past four years. In one evening I was introduced to the globe-trotting rap of MIA, the astounding art-pop of Maximo Park, the punk fuelled jazz of Polar Bear and the hauntingly beautiful

Antony and the Johnsons, who rightfully won the prize. So despite QRWKLQJ SDUWLFXODUO\ GHĂ€ QLQJ it was a champion for new music to impressionable people like myself.

deep down, secretly love. In terms of classic albums, 2006 certainly wasn’t a bad one. We saw the Arctic Monkeys release their debut album Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not, which

was one the main highlights of the year, and one which set the stage for greater thing to come. Lest we forget though, Paris Hilton released her one and, thankfully, only album, Paris.

The Carling Weekend’s line-up was an impressive one though, with Pearl Jam, Muse and Franz Ferdinand headlining the main stage whilst Newcastle’s Maximo Park, on their way to higher ground at

the time, headlined the NME stage. (Christopher Scott)

than his peers, when Burial released his phenomenal second album Untrue near the end of the year, the critical and commercial success led to an interest in the scene as a

whole. He may have lost out at the Mercuries, but with Four Tet collaborations and Thom Yorke remixes now under his belt, one suspects he’s not too upset.

The afore-mentioned Mr. Yorke had a good year as well. The headline-grabbing release method of In Rainbows saw the band beat the labels at the own game - that it was

RQH RI WKHLU À QHVW ZRUNV WR GDWH just made it all the greater. The worth of art? It’s up to you. No, really, it’s up to you.

Kings of Leon established themselves as true juggernauts. It was away from the dominant sounds where the true names of 2008 were to be found, however. 7KH K\SH IXHOOHG EXW MXVWLĂ€ HG ULVH of MGMT made an impression early on, with multiple festival appearances only cementing the reputation. Similarly, Bon Iver released For Emma, Forever Ago, with Fleet

Foxes’ rise amongst the U.S folk scene, before their surprising success amongst the mainstream over the Atlantic in Europe happening simultaneously. The most memorable moment though came on the live scene, when Jay-Z’s controversial headline performance at Glastonbury (pictured) turned into an unexpected triumph. (Stuart Edwards)

while downloading has accelerated even further. Numerous bands reunited, with Blur owning the festival season and the Pixies touring again. Indie boys the world over cheered with joy as Pavement reformed, and Iggy and the Stooges followed suit by announcing several gigs. Oasis declared their long-overdue separation as the ‘wibbling rivalry’ be-

WZHHQ 1RHO DQG /LDP À QDOO\ ERLOHG over, with Kasabian stepping up to take their place. Despite all this, 2009 will ultimately be remembered as the year of Michael Jackson’s unexpected death, although sadly it is more likely that he will be remembered for the controversy that surrounded him and not the great pop star that he was. (Linsey Teggert)

Elsewhere, the pop charts saw the RGG Ă DVK RI JHQLXV LQ 0LVV\ (OOLRW¡V ‘Get Ur Freak On’ and the Gorillaz’ ‘Clint Eastwood’. Perhaps the most VLJQLĂ€ FDQW HYHQWV RI WKH \HDU KRZ ever, were the demise of Napster and the rise of the iPod, as the InWHUQHW EHJDQ LWV LQHYLWDEOH LQĂ XHQFH over the way we engage with music. Oh yes, and a certain band called The Strokes (pictured) released their debut... you might have heard of them? (Joe Barton)

(Gordon Bruce - Culture Online Editor)

(Mark Corcoran-Lettice- Music Editor)

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

35

Music

decade in music

CULTURE

Writers’ recollections

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Kid A: a seminal album of the decade

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Pete Doherty: musical icon of a generatrion?

Simon Cowell: the ‘musical Anti-Christ’

36

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

CULTURE

TV & Radio

TV & Radio TV & Radio Editor: Aimee Philipson - courier.culture-tv@ncl.ac.uk

Christmas TV Highlights BBC

Top of the Pops Christmas Special, BBC1, Christmas Day

Cranford BBC1, date TBC

Doctor Who: The End of Time, BBC1, date TBC

Expect GaGa, Black Eyed Peas, and the all important Christmas number one (X Factor winner by any chance?), the Top of the Pops Christmas Special will almost cerWDLQO\ GHOLYHU WKH JRRGV Join Fearne Cotton and Reggie Yates as they count down the songs that GHÀ QHG $QG LI \RX FDQ VWDQG another hour of Fearne, there’s always the New Year’s Eve Special‌ Helen Atkinson

This Christmas, Cranford is returning for a two part special which sees us return to the village two years since Miss Matty Jenkyns lost her VLVWHU 'HERUDK Since then, she has seen the birth of her maid’s daughter, Tilly, and the arrival of Mr Buxton, a former CranIRUG GZHOOHU ZLWK KLV VRQ DQG QLHFH Over the two part special we see the effects a new comer has on the village dynamics and how Cranford ZLOO QHYHU EH WKH VDPH DJDLQ Ayse Djahit

'DYLG 7HQQDQW PDNHV KLV À QDO DS pearances as the Doctor this Christmas in the two-part special The End 2I 7LPH ,Q WKH À UVW HSLVRGH WKH Doctor discovers his nemesis, the Master, has returned from the dead while a shadow falls across the universe spelling trouble for the entire KXPDQ UDFH Adam Williams

Royal Variety Performance 2009, ITV1, 16th December BBC

$ZDUG ZLQQLQJ FRPHGLDQ 3HWHU Kay hosts this year’s Royal Variety Performance, coming from %ODFNSRRO IRU WKH À UVW WLPH LQ RYHU \HDUV $ ZKROH KRVW RI VWDUV DUH scheduled to appear including Lady Gaga, Michael BublÊ and Jason Manford so the programme should KDYH VRPHWKLQJ IRU HYHU\RQH Adam Williams

Catherine Tate: Nan’s Christmas Carol, BBC1, date TBC

BBC

Nan, one of Catherine Tate’s most famous creations, returns to our screens this holiday in her own take on the Dickens’s Christmas classic Âś$ &KULVWPDV &DURO¡ In this special, Nan is visited by the three ghosts of Christmas past, present and future including an unexpected visit from her dead husEDQG $OVR VWDUULQJ LV *DYLQ DQG Stacey star Matthew Horne and a FDPHR IURP 5RJHU /OR\G 3DFN Ayse Djahit

The Royal Family: The Golden Eggcup, BBC1, date TBC 0DQFKHVWHU¡V Ă€ QHVW WKH 5R\OH IDP ily return this Christmas in The *ROGHQ (JJFXS -LP DQG %DUEDUD have money, but can’t agree on how to spend it- Barbara wants to go abroad whereas Jim wants to VSOXUJH RQ D +' ER[ ([SHFW DUJX ments and a load of adults sitting URXQG D WHOO\ &ODVVLF 5R\OH )DPLO\ , IRU RQH FDQ¡W ZDLW Helen Atkinson

Russell Brand: Skinned Channel 4, 8th December Call yourself a fan of Russell? If so make sure you watch this in depth documentary as Frank Skinner provides an in-depth interview and behind the scenes coverage of the man KLPVHOI +LJKOLJKWV LQFOXGH XQVHHQ footage of early gigs, his new tour DQG D ELW DERXW KLV ULVH WR IDPH Elizabeth Davies

Sports Personality of the Year, BBC1, 13 December Sue Barker, Gary Lineker and Jake Humphrey return to host this years Sports Personality Of The Year cerePRQ\ OLYH IURP WKH 6KHIĂ€ HOG $UHQD Recognised as the most prestigious awards in British sport, Jenson Button is currently clear favourite to win the top prize but it all comes down WR WKH YLHZHU YRWH RQ WKH QLJKW Adam Williams

Victoria Wood’s Mid-Life Christmas, BBC1, date TBC I can’t name one person I know who doesn’t love Victoria Wood, and this IHVWLYH RIIHULQJ VKRZV PH ZK\ The comic veteran is returning this Christmas for a one off special packed full of sketches including a unique take on those all too familiar personal injury claims adverts, a big dance number and a mix of Lark 5LVH WR &DQGOHIRUG DQG &UDQIRUG This is the perfect excuse to sit back, relax and eat your own body ZHLJKW LQ PLQFH SLHV Ayse Djahit

BBC

Small Island BBC1, 6th December Set in post war London, this intelligent drama focuses on the hardships faced by Jamaican immigrants on their arrival in the ‘mother’ counWU\ Beautifully visualised and supported by a very talented cast, Small Island tackles the themes of prejudice, love and war with exceptional FDUH DQG GHOLYHUV D WUHDW Imran Javed

ITV

British Comedy Awards 2009, ITV1, 12th December I love a good awards show, and the WK DQQLYHUVDU\ RI WKH %ULWLVK &RP HG\ $ZDUGV LV QRW WR EH PLVVHG $Q unpredictable event with the best in the business including Michael 0F,QW\UH DQG $ODQ &DUU XS IRU %HVW Comedy Entertainment Personality it’s going to be a good one! Elizabeth Davies

CHANNEL 4

A Child’s Christmases in Wales, BBC1, 17th December ,I , ZDV JURZLQJ XS LQ WKH ¡V LQ a terraced house in South Wales, I could condense my festive cheer into one of them Haiku poems the (8 SUHVLGHQW LV VR IRQG RI 6RPH thing like ‘the Swansea wind bristles, there is no meat just gristle, the sleigh bells don’t whistle, in this SDUW RI WRZQ¡ *RG ,¡P JRRG +RZHYHU FRPHGLDQ Mark Watson has written a delightful hour long comedy special on the subject based on the works of Dylan 7KRPDV Joe Mellor

Turkey loving with celebrity cookery specials Hairy Bikers: The Twelve Days of Christmas BBC2, 16th December

Jamie’s Family Christmas, C4, 15th December

The best bromance to ever come RXW RI 1HZFDVWOH QR QRW $QW DQG Dec), the Hairy Bikers are giving us the low down of the culinary delights to be had over the festive VHDVRQ The programme incorporates the much loved and over-sang ChristPDV MLJ ² 7KH 'D\V RI &KULVWPDV DQG PRXWK ZDWHULQJ GHOLJKWV So, for all you food perverts, tune in on Wednesday the 16th DecemEHU %%& DW SP DQG JHW SUHSDUHG WR LQGXOJH LQ JRRG IRRG DQG +DLU\ Bikers! Jessica Bean

Following the success of last year’s ‘Jamie Cooks Christmas’, Jamie Oliver is back with a new Ă€ YH SDUW VHULHV ZKHUH KH VKDUHV his secrets for a relaxed family &KULVWPDV Featuring special guest appearances, and recipes for the ultimate Christmas dinner and festive party food, this is a mustVHH IRU IRRGLHV HYHU\ZKHUH Shalini Nayee

CHANNEL 4

Kirstie’s Homemade Christmas, C4, 8th December

Heston’s Christmas Feast, C4, 18th December

When Cheryl Cole looks like she’s never eaten a mince pie in her life, it’s refreshing to know that a fabulously curvy lady is coming to make RXU &KULVWPDVHV FRPSOHWH 3OXPP\ JRGGHVV .LUVW\ $OOVRS LV bringing thrift to the festive season ZLWK D WKUHH GD\ VSHFLDO ,QGLYLGXDO ly dedicated to creating decorations, FDNH DQG À QGLQJ WKH SHUIHFW WUHH Ok, so it might be ambitious for the average student - however, the mere image of Kirstie blundering around in a forest, caressing various types RI SLQH LV HQRXJK WR À OO P\ VWRFNLQJ WKLV \HDU Alice Vincent

There’s not a turkey in sight at Heston Blumenthal’s Christmas EDQTXHW .QRZQ IRU KLV XVH RI unusual ingredients and unique combinations, you are unlikely to replicate many of these reciSHV DW KRPH 6R VLW EDFN UHOD[ and watch Heston serve delicacies such as whale vomit and dormouse to his unsuspecting FHOHEULW\ GLQHUV Shalini Nayee

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

37

TV & Radio

CULTURE

with Jamie Archer Tom Delamere & Emma Chandler This week, The Courier met with X Factor’s Jamie Archer at Powerhouse. After an energetic performance and KDYLQJ SKRWRJUDSKV ZLWK PDQ\ Ă€ UHG XS IDQV WKH DIUR EHDULQJ URFNHU UHĂ HFWHG RQ where he felt the show went wrong, reYHDOHG WKH VLJQLĂ€ FDQFH EHKLQG KLV XELT uitous scarf and referred to Friends for dating inspiration... It’s so different seeing you live to seeing you on TV. Why’s that? I don’t know, you really connect with the audience live. It’s so different. Yeah it’s a whole different thing, that’s why I went out of the show because I wasn’t able to do what you saw (in Powerhouse) on the show. I like to hear that because obviously I want a career after the X Factor. Yes it’s different seeing you as soon as you walk out with your shades on, you can’t really convey that through a camera. Yeah, do you know what they used to say to me? That I can’t perform to sixteen million people the way you would to a crowd there (in Powerhouse). I should have forgotten about the camera. Honestly, the stuff I say between songs, I don’t SODQ WKH VWXII , MXVW JR ZLWK WKH Ă RZ and see how it goes. But I’ve been given a platform to be myself. That’s the good thing about X Factor, even if you don’t win the show, you get that platform and you get the recognition. 'HĂ€ QLWHO\ :KHQ SHRSOH VD\ ´RK are you pissed with Simon CowHOOÂľ ,¡P OLNH ´1R , ORYH WKH PDQ Âľ He has given me all this, you know, and he gave me a chance when others wouldn’t. So what have you been up to since the X Factor? Well since X Factor, I’ve been basically touring all over the country, after the show you go on tour and it’s been manic. There have been a lot of on road stories which are unrepeatable and there have been a lot of on road stories that are quite fun. Before your night of elimination, you hadn’t been in the bottom two before, and when it went to deadlock it was the public vote that meant you lost your place. Do you think you had reached your peak in the show?

What I thought was, if I was going to keep being given the songs I was given and portrayed sort of the way I was in the show there was nowhere for me to go. If I was able to do my own thing then I hadn’t even started really, there was so many more places that I wanted to go but what I wanted to do and what the show wanted to do were basically two different things and that’s where the problem was. You’ve got a very rock and roll style voice. Do you think anyone like that could ever win such a mainstream show like X Factor?

Did the X Factor stylists ever try to tame the ‘fro? Yeah, we don’t talk about that... there was talk about it being cut off. One of the producers said to me – , WKLQN LW ZDV D MRNH ² ´,I ZH VDLG you have to cut your hair off for the show, would you do it?â€? That seems to be something after an act has been in the bottom two: Lloyd was in the bottom two then he had a haircut, Danyl was in the bottom and he had a haircut. That was Dan’s idea. Trying to reinvent himself?

I do if they let the artist be themselves but if they are going to try and make them into a sort of easily digestible version then it can’t work. It’s Saturday night television; when I went into the show I realised what I was getting myself into. I hoped that I could sort of change the mould a bit and all the rest of it but ultimately the show is what it is – it’s not a singing show it’s an entertainment show and it didn’t really work. If next year a sort of a rock guy was to come in and they were sort of like ´ULJKW ZH WUXVW \RXU MXGJHPHQW JR with it the way you want to do itâ€? then yeah, they could win it. Yeah, I suppose there is always that battle between the artist and it being a business and a show. They have to put something on that they know will be good for the cameras. Because I wanted to take chances with the song choices each week, I wanted to do songs that people didn’t know so much, songs like ´+XUWÂľ DQG ´6H[ RQ )LUH Âľ ZKLFK were my favourite moments from the whole experience. They were chancey, and they worked. I was more up for that but obviously the show is a Saturday night audience, you’ve got to play more mainstream things. You picked up the name “Jamie Afroâ€? on the X Factor. Do you reckon if the afro went you would be a different kind of artist? No not really I just think it would be me without an afro! Do you use any special products on the hair to get it so big? I use an afro comb which actually a fan sent me when I was still in the show. I had an afro comb but it was UHDOO\ KDUG VR , ZDV OLNH ´RZ RZ owâ€? but this one they sent me was bendy!

Yeah, pretty much. Who did you get on best with in the X Factor house? Dan and Olly. We shared a room; people think that we live in some sort of palatial surroundings with like three million rooms, we all have a room and a bathroom, and it wasn’t like that. We lived in a great, great house but myself, Olly and Dan when we come back from a show, everyone screaming and crazy, we just go into the same room together, same bathroom and shower, we went to bed together – well not together, in the same room. We always had this little joke, every time we turned the nights out we would VD\ ´1LJKW 2OO\ ER\ Âľ ´QLJKW 'DQ Q\ ER\ Âľ ´QLJKW -DPLH ER\Âľ HYHU\ night to each other! Yeah, I miss my boys! We spoke to Rachel and she said the twins had nicked some of her cereal; it does in some ways sound like a student house. Yeah, that’s a good way of putting it actually because the kitchen was always in a mess, always in a mess! We FRXOGQ¡W Ă€ JXUH RXW ZKR LW ZDV EXW someone was doing something and wasn’t cleaning up. We had cleaners and everything but it was always in a state, I don’t know why! There have been rumours of a possible link with Bon Jovi. Is there any truth in this? The thing is I didn’t personally get told that but I got told that they wanted me to go on tour and I was OLNH ´2K UHDOO\" 7KDW VRXQGV JRRG Âľ But obviously my loyalties are to WKH ; )DFWRU 3HRSOH DUH OLNH ´$UH you bitter? Are you this? Are you that?â€? How can I be bitter about a show that has given me all of this? Maybe after the X Factor tour, I’ll JHW WR JR RQ WRXU ZLWK %RQ -RYL %XW , mean, I’m part of a number 1 single

at the moment and I’m just so happy about everything that has come out of the show, I’m just elated, just looking forward to seeing everyone LQ WKH À QDO DV ZHOO

ter the watershed? Superpower... HUUP WR Ă \ , WKLQN

Would you ever buy a record by Jedward?

$ OLRQ EHFDXVH ,¡P D /HR

I might you know! Do you remember WKDW VRQJ 3- DQG 'XQFDQ GLG FDOOHG ´/HW¡V JHW UHDG\ WR UXPEOH"¾ (YHQ LI \RX ZHUH OLNH ´LW¡V UXEELVK¾ \RX ZHUH OLNH ´LW¡V VR FDWFK\¾ WKRXJK Who do you think has the best chance of winning in the show and who do you want to win?

If you could be an animal what would you be and why?

Where would you like to be taken RQ D À UVW GDWH" Where would I like to be taken on D À UVW GDWH" 'R \RX NQRZ ZKDW somewhere surprising, somewhere not obvious. Finally then, other than your mentor, who was your favourite judge?

I want Olly to win.

(UUP WKH JLUOV HTXDOO\

Do you think he will win?

So just not Louis?

I think it’s between him, Stacey and -RH WR EH KRQHVW %XW WKHQ DJDLQ HDFK night when I’m playing, I ask the crowd who they like and who they DUH LQWR DQG , KDYH WR VD\ 'DQ -RKQ son gets an incredible response.

No, like I said to you earlier on, I UHDOO\ DFWXDOO\ OLNH /RXLV :DOVK , think he’s crazy but he’s a really fun guy and the show is the show. People need to realise that. He was really nice to me back stage. But the girls were just wonderful. Speaking to them is always a bit breathtaking. On the Sunday show we are all waiting backstage waiting to go on then they turn up and we are gasping because they are just so gorgeous.

7RP 6R ZKDW¡V WKH VLJQLĂ€ FDQFH RI your scarf? 2K ZHOO Ă€ UVW DQG IRUHPRVW LW¡V D luck thing; I’ve always worn a scarf. People think I did it for the X Factor but well before the X Factor I always wore a scarf on my side. Also, a friend of the family passed away and left a pile of scarves to me so I wear it as a tribute to them as well. Just a few sort of student questions WR Ă€ QLVK RII ZLWK ZKDW LV \RXU ID YRXULWH Ă DYRXU RI FULVSV" (UUP UHDG\ VDOWHG If you could have a super power, what would it be? (UUP LV WKLV JRLQJ RXW EHIRUH RU DI

Do you get much interaction with the other mentors or did you mainly just speak to Simon? Yeah because on the Friday we do a rehearsal and the judges come to see their acts and make sure everything is alright. They are very personable, \RX ZDON XS DQG VD\ ´RK KL &KHU\OÂľ and she’s lovely and so is Danni. X Factor’s Lloyd Daniels will be performing at Powerhouse this Friday, 11th December.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas at NSRLive Christian Allen NSR Station Manager Firstly, Happy Christmas from Newcastle Student Radio! It’s been D JUHDW À UVW VHPHVWHU IRU WKH VWDWLRQ with old presenters coming back better than ever and many new shows impressing! We’ve tried to extend our scope this year by providing more news,

sports and entertainment, both local and national, to cater for the broad range of students in Newcastle. Why not take a minute out of your day to check out our website where you can listen live, download our podcasts and browse through this year’s interviews and live sets. Furthermore, linked to this website \RX FDQ À QG RXU PXVLF HQWHUWDLQ ment and news blogs featuring the

latest reviews and news that each of our teams has reported on this year. Indeed this will continue to be updated throughout the Christmas period for those of you wanting your VWXGHQW MRXUQDOLVP À [ As for this week, alongside the latest chart releases and presenters choices you can expect to hear some of your favourite Christmas hits. For one week only it seems nsr-

live will become strictly dedicated to Christmas as the majority of our shows look to present their various Yuletide specials. For those of you who can’t think of anything worse than Wizzard and Slade back to back then many shows will be presenting their ‘best of the year’ or even ‘best of the decade’ playlists for you lucky listeners. So all in all a bit of a novelty week

here at NSR but plenty of good music and seasonal cheer for us students before we head off air for a month!

38

CULTURE

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

TV & Radio

Tuning In to Christmas specials Robbie Williams’ Line of Enquiry BBC Radio 2, Christmas Eve, 8pm He’s a national treasure, loved by young and old alike - yes readers, Robbie Williams is back. Robbie will be opening up to Kate Thornton, in what promises to be a candid and honest interview from the former Take That tearaway.

Answering questions from listeners and Radio 2 DJs alike, Robbie will be discussing the rollercoaster that is his life. From his Take That days, to his songwriting partnership with Guy &KDPEHUV WR Ă€ QGLQJ ÂśWKH RQH¡ QR

stone will be left unturned. I’m sure \RX¡OO KDYH ÂśQR UHJUHWV¡ KDG WR EH done!) about tuning in to this festive treat. Helen Atkinson

Radio 1’s Festive Festival BBC Radio 1, 21st December, 7-11pm

Huw Stephens’ Wierd and Wonderful Christmas, BBC Radio 1, Christmas Eve, 4-6am

$ODQ &DUU¡V 2IĂ€ FH 3DUW\, BBC Radio 2, Christmas Eve, 12-2pm

Christmas radio has had a bit of a revamp this year. Scrap the Christmas carols and Cliff Richards dominating the season and tune in to Radio one’s Festive Festival with Nick Grimshaw. Live from the legendary Maida Vale studios, home of the Live Lounge, some hotly-tipped acts include Simian Mobile Disco, Mumford and Sons, the XX Teens and Marina and the Diamonds. If this hasn’t sold it to you then a few funky party mixes from Kissy Sell Out and Toddla T are sure to do the trick and prepare your ears for the party season!

Huw Stephens has always had a penchant for under-the-radar music, so he applied his knowledge to the genre that could see his Weird and Wonderful Christmas show become a dodgy musical experiment. &RQWULEXWLRQV IURP /HH Âś6FUDWFK¡ Perry and the locals of the PantPDZU 3XE KH LV VWDXQFKO\ :HOVK RI course) should ensure that some festive oddities get some airtime. Stephens also teams up with Steve Lamacq for Radio 1’s Alternative &KULVWPDV 3DUW\ 'HFHPEHU 7-10pm) featuring special performances from Glasvegas, Florence and the Machine, Friendly Fires, Chase & Status, Chipmunk and Golden Silvers.

What could make a Christmas Eve any more special than listening to Alan Carr? For this one special occasion his Saturday night Going Out show has been moved to weekday BBC Radio 2 to really get us in the party spirit. Struggling with some last minute Christmas presents, Alan Carr and his co-host Gabby Roslin will bring you the solution and help you see the brighter side with some Christmas tunes and his favourite dance DQG SRS WXQHV LW¡V GHĂ€ QLWHO\ JRLQJ to be worth a listen for the countdown to the biggest day of the year.

Elizabeth Davies

Nile Amos

Elizabeth Davies

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

39

Puzzles Editors: Suzi Moore and Ned Walker - courier.puzzles@ncl.ac.uk

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Solution to last week’s Crossword

Which is the real santa amongst the fakes?

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THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

41

End of term Intra Mural rugby round-up > Sport, page 45 Sports Editors: Paul Christian, Jamie Gavin and Tom James - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

Warren: British boxing? It’s huge > Sports Editor Tom James VSHDNV WR ER[LQJ SURPRWHU )UDQN :DUUHQ DQG 6N\ 6SRUWV FRPPHQWDWRU ,DQ 'DUNH DERXW ZKHWKHU 3DFTXLDR Y 0D\ZHDWKHU ZLOO KDSSHQ $PLU .KDQ·V UHVXUJHQFH DQG D VXFFHVVIXO \HDU IRU %ULWLVK ER[LQJ Frank, you’ve been around for a while and you’re regarded as the Godfather of British boxing.

Could you describe what you do as a promoter? FW: I guide and look after a number RI À JKWHUV 0\ MRE LV WR À QG WKH À JKWV IRU WKHP DQG WKHQ VHOO WKRVH À JKWV WR WHOHYLVLRQ VSRQVRUV DQG WR WKH IDQV Do you think Mayweather v Pacquiao will happen? ): , WKLQN LW ZLOO ,·G ORYH WR SUR PRWH LW DQG ,·G OLNH WR EH DEOH WR ZDWFK LW DV ZHOO ,W·V JRLQJ WR EH D KXJH HYHQW D PHJD HYHQW DQG , WKLQN LW·V JRLQJ WR EUHDN ER[ RIÀ FH UHFRUGV LQ $PHULFD 3DFTXLDR·V ODVW À JKW LQ $PHULFD VROG PLOOLRQ EX\HUV DW GRO ODUV D SRS 0D\ZHDWKHU ZDV MXVW RYHU D PLOOLRQ $GG WKHP WRJHWKHU DQG \RX·YH JRW DOPRVW PLOOLRQ EX\HUV %LJ PRQH\ 3KHQRPHQDO PRQH\ IRU WKH À JKWHUV ,' 7KH DPRXQW RI PRQH\ KDQJLQJ DURXQG WKDW À JKW LV VR KXJH WKDW LW MXVW KDV WR KDSSHQ ,W SUREDEO\ ZRQ·W EH QH[W 0D\ DQG LV PRUH OLNHO\ WR EH LQ 6HSWHPEHU :KDW GR \RX WKLQN RI WKH WZR À JKW HUV ZRXOG WKH À JKW OLYH XS WR H[ pectations?

Are you looking forward to 2012 and the new batch of boxers coming through? ): ,W·V DOZD\V JRRG WR VHH \RXQJ À JKWHUV FRPLQJ WKURXJK +RSH IXOO\ ZH·OO VHH VRPH ER[HUV FRPLQJ WKURXJK DQG HPXODWH WKH JX\V ZKR FDPH WKURXJK DIWHU WKH ODVW 2O\P SLFV ,·P ORRNLQJ DIWHU -DPHV 'H*DOH )UDQNLH *DYLQ DQG %LOO\ -RH 6DXQ GHUV ZKR IRXJKW LQ %HLMLQJ DQG WKH\·UH DOO TXDOLW\ ER[HUV 7KH\ ZHUH TXDOLW\ DPDWHXUV DQG KDYH GRQH HYHU\WKLQJ L·YH DVNHG RI WKHP $V SURV WKH\·UH FRPLQJ DORQJ UHDO O\ ZHOO DQG KRSHIXOO\ E\ WKHVH JX\V ZLOO EH ZRUOG FKDPSLRQV %R[ LQJ LV RQ D UHDO KLJK DW WKH PRPHQW How good for boxing is it that we have a heavyweight campion in David Haye? ,' ,W·V IDQWDVWLF ,W·V H[DFWO\ ZKDW \RX ZDQW ,I \RX ZDQW WR SXW ER[LQJ RQ WKH PDS DQG RQ WKH EDFN SDJHV LQ %ULWDLQ WKHQ WKDW LV H[DFWO\ ZKDW \RX ZDQW D KHDY\ZHLJKW FKDPSLRQ +H·V D ORYHO\ SOHDVDQW FKDULVPDWLF JX\ DV ZHOO DQG KH KDV UHDFKHG RXW DFURVV WKH ERUGHUV RI ER[LQJ

Men’s Fencing

Newcastle 1sts Lancaster 1sts

132 114

Edward Bailey

FW: More like the grandfather (laughs)

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King Khan: Amir Khan is just one of the boxers Frank Warren looks after

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Newcastle football ¿ UVW WHDP VFUDSH through in cup Sport, page 44

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Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

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%ULWDLQ¡V Ă€QHVW RQ WKH %XWWRQ LQ Jonathan Taylor Christmas certainly wouldn’t be Christmas without the BBC Sports Personality of the Year. Nothing beats the annual sensation of sitting in front of the Christmas tree with the family, eating copious amounts of mince pies, whilst watching Sue Barker and Gary Lineker take us back through the year’s sports success stories. The top 10 shortlist for this year’s prestigious trophy was released last week, with all the nominees looking to emulate last year’s winner - the three-time gold medal cycling champion in Beijing, Sir Chris Hoy. This year’s nominees are Formula 1 champion Jenson Button, cyclist Mark Cavendish, 15 year old diver Tom Daley, heptathlon champion Jessica Ennis, Manchester United’s Welsh wizard Ryan Giggs, heavyweight champion David Haye, triple-jump champion Phillips Idowu, Ashes winning captain Andrew Strauss, gymnastics champion Beth Tweddle, and Britain’s number one tennis star Andy Murray. The bookies have installed Jenson Button as the early favourite, ahead

of Jessica Ennis and David Haye respectively. However with the event scheduled for Sunday 13th December, it would be foolish to rule out either Andrew Strauss or Ryan Giggs. It is no surprise that Formula 1 champion Jenson Button is the early favourite for the top prize. It has been quite a year for the 29 year old as he won the F1 championship in Brawn’s inaugral season. With 2008 FIA Champion Lewis +DPLOWRQ Ă€QLVKLQJ VHFRQG LQ ODVW year’s Sports Personality of the Year, Button has been tipped to go one further to win this year’s prize, and EH WKH Ă€UVW PRWRU UDFLQJ FKDPSLRQ to do so since Damon Hill in 1996. Heptathlete Jessica Ennis has also been heavily backed by all quarters for this year’s prize, after her remarkable gold-medal winning performance at the World Athletics Championship in Berlin earlier this year. Her combined total of 6731 points placed her as the second best British heptathlete of all time, at the age of only 23. Ennis, who has also won the European Junior Championship and bronze in the Commonwealth Games during her young career, may well add the Sports Personality of the Year to her long list of awards, and despite missing out in Beijing due to injury, will certainly be the one to watch at London 2012. Heavyweight champion of the world, and conqueror of Goliath, David Haye was perhaps the most unsurprising nominee for this year’s award. After a sensational display against Nikolai Valuev in Nuremberg in November this year, +D\H GHĂ€HG WKH FULWLFV DQG D EURken hand - to bring home the title to England. Valuev, dubbed ‘Goliath’ before the bout, weighed in at 147 kg - a colossal 48kg more than Haye, and was defeated by a unanimous decision to the delight of the British following. Boasting an arm reach of over 88 inches, the fact that Haye avoided being caught by even one punch RI VLJQLĂ€FDQFH E\ 9DOXHY KLJKOLJKWV the sheer magnitude of his feat, and his consequent nomination for this year’s Sports Personality of the Year is just reward for a true champion. Andrew Strauss is, in my opinion, the real dark horse in this year’s competition. Seen as an outsider

by the bookies, England’s Ashes winning captain, and player of the series, has been a cricketing role model throughout 2009. Strauss came out of the 2009 Ashes series with Australia with 474 runs to his name - an incredible Ashes average of 52. To add, his unforgettable innings at Lords where he scored 161 runs was not only the highest innings of the series, but also saw him surpass 5000 Test runs. Strauss was the mastermind behind the English Ashes success last summer, which saw a similar spread of Ashes fever across the country to the 2005 success. The scene of Graeme Swann trapping Michael Hussey at short-leg to win the series will live long in the memory of sports fans throughout the country, and certainly makes Strauss a creditable candidate for this year’s gong. Ryan Giggs is perhaps the surprise nomination for this year’s Sports Personality of the Year, being the ÀUVW IRRWEDOOHU WR EH VKRUWOLVWHG VLQFH Steven Gerrard in 2005. However few would argue about his nomination, with the 36 year old winger surprising the entire world with his ever-lasting commitment, talent and leadership. Giggs, who won PFA Player of the Year award earlier this year, has been outstanding this year, and was crucial to Manchester United’s second consecutive Champions League ÀQDO DSSHDUDQFH DV ZHOO DV WKHLU third straight Premier League title last May. By devoting 19 years to the club, he KDV ÀUPO\ SODFHG KLPVHOI DORQJVLGH United legends George Best and Sir Bobby Charlton, and if picked as this year’s Sports Personality of the Year, Giggs will retire from the game with an unrivalled silverware cabinet. It is important to credit all of the 10 nominees for their unquestionable commitment and talent in their reVSHFWLYH ÀHOGV DQG DOO GHVHUYH WKHLU place in the Sports Personality hall of fame. Although Jenson Button appears ÀUP IDYRXULWH WR ZLQ WKH DFFODLPHG trophy, I would not be surprised if either David Haye or Andrew Strauss pipped him to the top gong, and consequently cemented their names amongst the sporting elite.

Newcastle fans plotting Tyneside revolution Christopher Hay Revolution is brewing on Tyneside. After shelling out small fortunes, year in year out, to watch their famous club ignominiously fall from the heights of the Champions League into the second tier of English football, Newcastle United’s proud fans KDYH Ă€QDOO\ KDG HQRXJK “There’s nobody riding over the horizon on a white horse to save us, so we can’t afford to wait for that to happen. It’s up to us to initiate something,â€? says Newcastle United Supporters Trust (NUST) spokesman Mark Jensen. The ‘Yes We Can!’ campaign – named in response to club chairman Derek Llambias’s claim that the fans could never buy the club – seeks to reclaim the club for the city. “I don’t think there’s anywhere in the country with more civic pride in their football team than Newcastle. It’s something that the city should be feeding off, but recently it’s been a burden,â€? Jensen explains. He describes Newcastle United as “the region’s clubâ€?, and while he ac-

cepts the campaign is ambitious, he believes that the size of its fan-base is an “inherent advantageâ€? that makes a supporters’ buy-out feasible. “We’re constantly told by people outside the region, non-Newcastle fans, that if this could happen anywhere, it’s Newcastle. “We’ve got more fans coming in through the gates than Liverpool and Chelsea, and look at the position we’re in. “With the potential of a club like Newcastle, and the money it can generate with such a massive fanbase, why can’t we be the ultimate model for other clubs to follow in this country?â€? A minimum stake of ÂŁ1,500 would EX\ RQH IDQ WKH ULJKW WR RIĂ€FLDOO\ vote in all matters concerning the running of the club. While inevitably reliant on big business for much of the funds, the Trust is still keen to make sure the fans have a controlling interest. “Nothing could be done at the club without their consent,’ Jensen FRQĂ€UPV “It’s all about having thousands

and thousands of people owning a little piece of Newcastle United and collectively deciding who runs the club on their behalf.â€? As always on Tyneside, expectations are high. “At the moment we’ve got somebody [Derek Llambias] whose only experience is running a casino and he got the job because he’s Mike Ashley’s mate. “But why shouldn’t we have a big hitter like David Dein or Peter Kenyon here, with experience of running massive clubs?’ A six-week awareness campaign is currently underway, and has been met enthusiastically. It is rumoured that ÂŁ20 million has already been pledged by fans alone. Volunteers distributed 10,000 ‘Yes :H &DQ ¡ Ă \HUV LQ SXEV DFURVV WKH city before the home match against Swansea last weekend. “The response has been overwhelming, the website (www.nust. org.uk) even crashed several times with the amount of hits it was getting. “It’s a very exciting and revolutionary idea – certainly in England – for

a club to be bought out by the fans DQG LW¡V GHĂ€QLWHO\ FDSWXUHG SHRSOH¡V imaginations.â€? Barcelona is the shining light of a club successfully owned by its fans, while in the German Bundesliga supporters must by law own the majority of each club. Jensen holds these examples up as sensible alterQDWLYHV WR WKH ´à DZHG PRGHOVÂľ RI private billionaire ownership in the Premiership. “People have been sold the idea that English football clubs can only be run by a very rich person, but look at Abramovich at Chelsea – if anything happened to him, what would happen to Chelsea? “If suddenly there wasn’t someone paying the wage bill, the club couldn’t satisfy it on its own.â€? The NUST’s campaign is in line with UEFA president Michel Platini’s vision for more democratic, self-sustaining ownership whereby a club “lives within its meansâ€?. -HQVHQ KLJKOLJKWV /LYHUSRRO¡V Ă€nancial disarray under Hicks and Gillett as a potential “horror storyâ€?: “They’re out of the Champions

League, they’re looking unlikely to qualify for it this year, they had to UHĂ€QDQFH DJDLQ DW WKH VWDUW RI WKLV season. “How is that a good way of running a football club? A lot of clubs will be in a lot of trouble, because they’re spending money that they haven’t got.â€? It would be easy to dismiss this bid as a fanciful dream of stereotypically deluded Newcastle fans. But for a club rightfully ridiculed for its kneejerk reactions, short-term trophy VLJQLQJV DQG ODXJKDEOH Ă€QDQFLDO management, this campaign might just make sense. It is well-organised and has the long-term interests of the club at heart, phrases not often uttered in the sportsdirect.com@St James’ Park Stadium boardroom under Mike Ashley’s tenure. Jensen rates its chances of success as 50-50, and it seems nothing will deter the Trust. “We’re all in this together, and the bigger the numbers, the stronger we’ll be. It is morally our club, and maybe one day it will EH Ă€QDQFLDOO\ DV ZHOO Âľ

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

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SPORT

Royals await BUCS ruling after umpire farce in Liverpool Men’s Hockey

Liverpool 1sts Newcastle 1sts

2 2

Charley Wright A cold, dull day at Liverpool University Sports Centre was the host of a controversial game of hockey in ZKLFK QHLWKHU XPSLUH ZDV TXDOLĂ€HG WR RIĂ€FLDWH LQ ZKDW ZDV DQ H[WUHPHO\ important match. )URP WKH Ă€UVW ZKLVWOH 1HZFDVWOH dominated all of the play, keeping possession of the ball solidly for 15 minutes. The Royals’ defence pushed up as high as possible leaving the rest of the side to camp alPRVW H[FOXVLYHO\ LQ WKH RSSRVLWLRQ¡V 25 metre area. Liverpool were clearly feeling the pressure, conceding several penalty corners, one of which was so nearly converted by Mike Sedcole, sendLQJ KLV GUDJ Ă LFN PLOOLPHWUHV ZLGH of the post at pace. Forwards Paul Hardiman and Ollie Fraser, who had VFRUHG KLV WK JRDO IRU 180+& DW the weekend, were also denied, by goalkeeper and last ditch defenders respectively. $IWHU D IXUWKHU Ă€YH PLQXWHV RI FRQWLQXDO SUHVVXUH 1HZFDVWOH Ă€QDOO\ JRW WKHLU Ă€UVW JRDO $ ZHOO WKRXJKW RXW VKRUW FRUQHU VDZ 6HGFROH Ă€QG Captain Ian Rossiter wide open, with Rossiter slotting the ball home calmly for the lead. Soon after, another penalty corner should have brought about a penalW\ VWURNH ZKHQ D 6HGFROH Ă LFN IRXQG the foot of the defender on the line. 7KH XQTXDOLĂ€HG XPSLUHV IURP /LYHUSRRO VKRZHG WKHLU LQH[SHULHQFH and incompetence; being wrongly positioned for the corner, they incorrectly awarded a second penalty corner. 1HZFDVWOH UHVSRQGHG WR WKLV LQjustice by converting their second WKURXJK Ă€UVW \HDU GHIHQGHU .LHUDQ Borrett on his reverse stick. After picking the ball up in the ‘D’ all the fresher had to do was beat the

He scores goals: Mike Sedcole battles for possession during the Royals’ controversial 2-2 draw

‘keeper, which he did comfortably to make it 2-0. Half-time stopped the Royals’ momentum in its tracks and allowed the home side to re-group. The second period was to be the arena for a host of contentious decisions from the umpires who were severely out of their depth. The start of the second half startHG PXFK WKH VDPH DV WKH Ă€UVW ZLWK 1HZFDVWOH KROGLQJ WKH EDOO KLJK XS the pitch and making chances, and Hardiman once again failing to convert after a brilliant Rossiter reverse stick through ball. However, soon after the away side sat back, seemingly happy with their two goal lead and apparently not learning the lessons from ShefĂ€HOG WKUHH ZHHNV DJR 7KHUH ZDV OLWtle urgency from the Royals, which invited Liverpool to have a go, and they did. With 15 minutes to go the home side clawed a goal back after a forward’s skills in the ‘D’ made space and time to pick out the bottom corner of Ed Cracknell’s goal, halving the Royals’ lead. Minutes later the home side scored a highly illegal equaliser which owed a great deal to the ineptitude of the RIĂ€FLDOV $IWHU PDNLQJ D VROLG WDFNOH onto the foot of a Liverpool player, Sedcole was left aghast when that player followed the ball to where he kicked it (20 metres in front of him), placed it on the sideline and played the killer ball to his forward, who once again beat Cracknell clinically. The Royals were furious with the RIĂ€FLDOV EXW WKHLU DSSHDOV IHOO RQ deaf ears. 6RRQ DIWHU WKH Ă€QDO ZKLVWOH EOHZ signalling a point for the Royals in a game they should have put to bed in WKH Ă€UVW SHULRG Luckily, as the away side played ‘under protest’ at the umpiring situation they may be awarded the FKDQFH WR UHSOD\ WKH JDPH QH[W \HDU Even so, three points against Leeds Met at home are a necessity.

South Africans set to take on... South Africa William Robinson As England look set to face the number one ranked test side in the world, it is the South African naWLYHV LQ WKH VLGH .HYLQ 3LHWHUVHQ and Jonathon Trott, who may prove, ironically, to be a pivotal part in England’s success on the tour. Andrew Strauss, who was recently nominated for the BBC Sports Personality of the Year after his leadership of a victorious Ashes side in the summer, is hoping that his team of English (and South African) players will stand up to the challenge, and get one step closer to the number one spot in the rankings - one of Strauss’s main ambitions as captain. .HYLQ 3LHWHUVHQ ERUQ DQG UDLVHG LQ .ZD=XOX 1DWDO FRPHV EDFN IURP D four month absence, four years after the tour to his home country, where he was constantly booed whenever and wherever he took the crease. The most memorable dig at Pietersen’s nationality was when he took to the crease in Bloemfontein, greeted with a message on the giant VFRUHERDUG ´:HOFRPH KRPH .HYLQ Pietersen, have a nice day.â€? He went on to score a century that day, a nice day indeed, and erupted

onto the international scene as the QH[W ZRUOG FODVV EDWVPDQ ZLWK WKUHH FHQWXULHV LQ KLV VL[ RQH GD\ LQQLQJV and an average of 151. The early one day matches have QRW VHHQ .3 LQ WKH EHVW RI IRUP RQO\ scraping 52 runs from three innings. However, director Andy Flower has asked fans to be patient as he is conĂ€GHQW KLV EHVW EDWVPHQ ZLOO KLW IRUP and could not have just walked back onto the international stage and dominate from ball one. Even though most had wished he would do just that. England fans are now hoping he can pull some form together going into a test series against the world’s in form side in his own back yard. On the other hand, the Cape Town born Jonathon Trott, who in the summer became the 18th English batsmen to score a century on test debut for England, has showed some promise leading into the tests. On the back of 87 in the second ODI and 52 in the fourth, he may now have the responsibility of scoring vital middle order runs, or indeed WKH PDMRULW\ RI (QJODQG¡V UXQV LI .3 FDQQRW Ă€QG WKDW SURPLVHG IRUP His part in England’s victory in WKH GHFLGLQJ Ă€IWK WHVW PDWFK LQ WKH

Ashes has meant he has very much a favourite of the English fans, but will he be able to pull through in his native country and will he get the VDPH UHVSHFW RU ODFN RI DV .3 GLG WKH Ă€UVW WLPH KH UHWXUQHG ÂśKRPH¡" 7KH Ă€QDO 6RXWK $IULFDQ ZKR ZLOO have more than an integral part in the series is the ‘under the radar’ team director Andy Flower, who, HYHQ WKRXJK D IRUPHU =LPEDEZH international, was born and raised, like Trott, in Cape Town. Flower who, after his full time appointment in April 2009, replacing Duncan Fletcher, brought the Ashes back onto English soil after its brief absence since the 2006-7 5-0 white wash down under. His quietness and persona of calmness and collectiveness has proved very affective - thus far as he looks to continually project his side to the top of the test rankings. England’s appearance in the Champions Trophy Semi-Final in September showing his potential to take England further in the international tournaments which are now coming thick and fast, with the new 20/20 World Cup becoming an annual event. England’s performances in the

current one day series has merited them a great deal of respect, despite 6RXWK $IULFD¡V YHU\ PL[HG VXFFHVV of late in the one day arena. James Anderson - who will lead the attack in the test matches - will look to build on his demolishing of the South African batsmen during the fourth ODI in Port Elizabeth where he took 5-23. However it is the batsmen, who need to step up to the plate against the likes of Dale Steyn, who will be fresh for the start of the test series afWHU EHLQJ UHVWHG IRU WKH Ă€QDOH RI WKH one day series. Also threatening England will be Wayne Parnell, Morne Morkel and the ever effective veteran Jacques .DOOLV ZKR KDV EHHQ LQFOXGHG GHspite doubts over whether he will recover in time from a fractured rib. England fans will now wait on whether the recruitment of former (QJODQG FDSWDLQ DQG (VVH[ KHDG coach Graham Gooch as batting coach will inspire the top order to some much needed runs during the series. The likes of Alistair Cook and Ian Bell, who are fresh off the back of half centuries for the England Performance Programme, look to ce-

ment their place in the line up as an opener and number three respectively. The EPP are also touring South Africa this winter, as the likes of Stephen Moore, Mark Davies and another South African native Craig .LHVZHWWHU ORRN WR JHW DQ RSSRUWXQLty in the full side in the near future. To throw a spanner in the works, LW KDV EHHQ FRQĂ€UPHG WKDW (QJODQG and South Africa will be using the new decision review system, which received its debut during the PakiVWDQ Y 1HZ =HDODQG VHULHV This has been received with scepticism after the controversy of the referral system used during England’s tour of the West Indies earlier this year, and the lack of willingness from South Africa to fund the technology. All in all it just adds to what has the potential to be a dramatic and ÂśVRDS RSHUD¡ OLNH VHULHV DV D FRQĂ€dent, Ashes-winning England come against the worlds best test side. Even though it is a series between two countries, it could be the South Africans who are ultimately battling it out amongst themselves when the VLGHV PHHW IRU WKH Ă€UVW WHVW LQ &HQWXrion on December 16th.

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Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

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Powerful Scots beat Newcastle in BUCS opener Water Polo

Newcastle Edinburgh

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Rachel Milligan & Elizabeth Wright On a chilly Wednesday, NewcasWOH ODGLHV IHOO WR DQ (GLQEXUJK team comprised of both Scottish and American international players, a GB Junior and an almost faultless ,WDOLDQ JRDOLH LQ WKHLU Ă€UVW %8&6 :Dter Polo game of the season. Having lost a few experienced players last June and more through injury, it was always going to be a struggle, which resulted in a Spartan-like battle; Edinburgh being the Spartans and Newcastle void of armour. Though Edinburgh got off to a 2 – 0 start, Newcastle soon got it back to 2 -1 when Captain Jones put back a nifty penalty, one of two penalties awarded to Newcastle during the game, thanks to Tomlinson’s defending. 'XULQJ WKH VHFRQG TXDUWHU 1HZcastle battled hard with several attempts on goal and some more top FODVV GHIHQGLQJ E\ -RQHV 'HVSLWH Newcastle’s tenacity and two fantastic attempts at goal by Miss Mega Menheneott, Edinburgh’s reactions ZHUH MXVW WRR TXLFN DOORZLQJ WKHP :LWK D SDGGOH 1HZFDVWOHÂśV FDQRHUV ÂżJKW KDUG DJDLQVW WKH ZDYHV WR FROOHFW DQ LPSUHVVLYH IRXU PHGDOV DW :DVKEXUQ 5LYHU RQ WKH RXWVNLUWV RI +DUURJDWH WR VFRUH PDQ\ PRUH JRDOV DV WKH Ă€QDO UHVXOW ODPHQWDEO\ UHĂ HFWV Numerous kick-outs gave Newcastle the opportunity to use their ‘man up’ but unfortunately they were unable to convert these chances into goals, much to the credit of the Edinburgh goalkeeper. Newcastle continued to battle WOH Ă€QLVKLQJ QG RYHUDOO FROOHFWLQJ D The girls also did us proud with WKURXJK WR WKH Ă€QDO ZKLVWOH VKRZ- Chris Beckett highly respectable 54 BUCS points /LQGD 6SHLJKW Ă€QLVKLQJ WK (PLO\ ing no surrender to the Scottish side, & Linda Speight IRU WKH XQLYHUVLW\ $ VLJQLĂ€FDQW Monk 11th and Sarah McGarrity with more great saves from Thorn- Braving the rain, mud and freezing achievement as we were only beaten 15th. WRQ IUHVK LQ JRDO IRU KHU Ă€UVW HYHU temperatures as most people were by Loughborough, who had several The last races on the Saturday were BUCS game. avoiding the torrential Yorkshire GB team paddlers racing for them the Mixed Team and once again our Regrettably, the score line re- rain, Newcastle Canoe Club headed (we have none). JLUOV GLG XV SURXG Ă€QLVKLQJ WK mained unchanged for Newcastle down to the annual BUCS white waPaddling out of their comfort After our success on Saturday, until Jones got the better of two ter race held on the Washburn River zones, using single bladed canoes, we all arrived in high spirits to the Ă€HUFH (GLQEXUJK GHIHQGHUV ZKHQ near Harrogate. Ralph Baker, Steve Hickey, Tom Kel- river’s edge on Sunday despite the she managed to double NewcasJoining 27 other universities from sey and Gregory Entwistle reigned driving rain, and we had a right WOH¡V VFRUH OHDYLQJ LW ² DW VSODVK across the UK, we took part in the LQ VRPH EULOOLDQW SRLQW VFRULQJ Ă€Q- to do so. Ralph Baker once again down. biggest event of its kind in Britain. ishing in the top ten for both single showed all the universities except Newcastle can hold their heads Newcastle have traditionally done and double person canoe events. /RXJKERURXJK KRZ WR VSULQW Ă€Qhigh as their base performance well at white water racing but with The rest of team also performed ishing 2nd. For the girls sprint event, VWRSSHG WKH 6FRWV IURP WDNLQJ D most of last year’s team having beyond our highest expectations, Linda Speight achieved 7th place. goal win, and despite the goal dif- graduated, the pressure was on the ZLWK 5DOSK %DNHU Ă€QLVKLQJ UG LQ Tom Kelsey and Ralph Baker also ference, Newcastle can march into new members to keep up the high the single kayak event and 4th in went one better in the sprint and the next BUCS game with a valuable standards. the double canoe event with Tom DFKLHYHG UG SODFH FODLPLQJ WKDW learning experience. A great team effort saw Newcas- Kelsey. elusive medal position. The men’s

Canoe club making waves

Taekwondo trio share the spoils Fran Infante /DVW 6XQGD\ ÀIWHHQ PHPEHUV RI WKH 1HZFDVWOH 7DHNZRQGR VTXDG FRPpeted at a regional competition in 'RQFDVWHU ZKHUH WKH\ IDFHG RSSRnents not only from the North East, but all over the UK and Europe. The team, led by President Rob McKeon, used the event as preparation for the side that will be defending their position as National Champions of Sport Taekwondo in January. The same contest last year saw WKH VTXDG ZLQ VHYHQ JROG PHGDOV and many more bronze and silver, as well as gaining an overall points lead which crowned them the best ÀJKW WHDP LQ WKH 8. With that in mind, it was important that they made the most of the experience that the North East regionals provided them. McKeon, who had never fought before starting with the club as a fresher, lead the way and fought well but was denied victory by a

much larger opponent. This was the a blow to the team given that the fourth year Mechanical Engineering student is one of the club’s strongest and most advanced competitors. Hopes were revived however with Adam Beardmore’s decisive win over his challenger, another bigger ÀJKWHU ZKR KH DWWDFNHG ZLWK LQFUHGible aggression to the delight of his team-mates. 7KLUG \HDU %LRORJ\ VWXGHQW 'DQ Coleman put in a valiant performance, recovering remarkably from a head kick that would have felled many a fellow contender. He was however sadly bettered by the extreme skill and experience of his adversary. The other win of the day came from WKH RQO\ HOLWH FRPEDWDQW ÀHOGHG E\ WKH FOXE )LJKW &DSWDLQ -RVK 0DTsood who dominated his opponent ZLQQLQJ The female contingents of the club were well represented by Emily Hutchison and Emma Neal.

teams continued to perform well on WKH 6XQGD\ DFKLHYLQJ WK DQG WK place, missing out on a medal by only four seconds. An overall fantastic effort from everyone involved, collecting one silver and three bronze medals, a massive 54 BUCS points and an overall second place. 6LJQLÀFDQWO\ WKH WHDP EHDW VWURQJ RXWÀWV IURP 'XUKDP DQG 1RWWLQJham Universities. Continuing to prove that success lies in the team effort, everyone can be proud to be part of one of the best canoe clubs in the country. The next BUCS event for the team is the canoe slalom in February where they will hope to emulate Saturday’s success. J. MAQSOOD

Hutchison was narrowly beaten but 2006 National Champion Neal put in a decisive win. The team’s new coach Kyle Thomkins was thrilled with the group’s performance. ‘Bring on January,’ he told The Courier. The team that competed represented a practically complete range of ability from novice to elite. New members are always welcome regardless of skill level or previous experience. 0DTVRRG WROG The Courier ‘obviously if you have done it before that LV DQ DGYDQWDJH EXW LW¡V GHĂ€QLWHO\ QRW UHTXLUHG ² 5RE LV D SHUIHFW H[ample of that. ‘If people don’t want to take on IXOO FRQWDFW Ă€JKWLQJ WKDW LV RND\ DV ZHOO ZH KDYH TXLWH D ORW RI PHPEHUV ZKR GRQ¡W Ă€JKW EXW FRPH IRU WKH Ă€Wness. It’s pretty intense but it’s a lot of fun.’ Taekwondo train at the Sports Centre; Mondays 8.30-10pm, Thursdays 6.308pm and Saturdays 11-1pm. 7KH ÂżUVW UXOH RI )LJKW &OXE LV WR SRVH IRU WKH FDPHUD 7DHNZRQGR WHDP JHW UHDG\ IRU DFWLRQ

THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

45

SPORT A.WILSON

IM Football: the season so far Paul Christian Sports Editor The hum and hue of Wednesday football caresses the senses. The sight of Steve Catchpole. The trek to Close House. The smell of soiled socks for six straight weeks. It doesn’t get much better than this. You’re here, then you’re gone. Make the most of it. Intra - Mural, the league that’s harder to spell than play in, has reached half-time. And what betWHU ZD\ WR ÀOO WKH YRLG RI DQRWKHU washed-out week than a quick update. Who’s top scorer? Who’s playing ringers? Who is that scamp Mclovin? All these questions probably won’t be answered; keep reading anyway for a mention of your team. Let’s start at the bottom. Intro Mural newcomers Happy Feet and Roman Villa can’t sink much lower. Between them, they’ve conceded more goals than the rest of Division Four put together. With no points to date for either team, expect a crunch match when WKH\ ÀQDOO\ PHHW 1DLOHG RQ VFRUHless draw. At the other end, Ar-U Shavin A Laugh are giggling their way to the WLWOH ZLWK ÀYH ZLQV IURP ÀYH Irony isn’t lost on Breast Rummage Albion (abbreviation BRA) but promotion will be if a run of results fails to transpire. They lie patiently behind Tub Boys, Freemans and Molesok in the race for second place. It all sounds so wrong. Division Three is tighter than a camel’s arse in a sandstorm. Three teams are battling for the title. Politic Thistle, conquerors of Gar-

nett in the cup, sit top by a point from Olympic Mayonnaise and origLQDO FOHDYDJH RXWĂ€W )& %DSSDJH Last year’s Division Four champions Inter City have struggled with WKH ULVH LQ VWDQGDUG DQG DUH Ă€IWK behind the beautifully named Aftermath. Inter City Captain David Dunn believes their recent victory in the cup a la penalties will see a change in fortune for his side. He also claims he plants his head on ‘anything in my territory.’ Inter Mural veterans Pink Panthers are sprawled at the foot of the table with one point, whilst AFC Hydro have their work cut out to catch Dunn and his head-the-balls, whom they trail by three. Division Two then. One team breaking most Intramural records this year are the Sex Panthers. Played Ă€YH FRQFHGHG 3OD\HG Ă€YH ZRQ QRQH 3OD\HG Ă€YH VFRUHG Ă€YH Oh how we’ve revelled in the headlines. They’ve been mauled, pummelled, crushed and...mauled. Top scorer is their keeper with two RZQ JRDOV 7KH GHĂ€DQW TXHVWLRQ UHPDLQV KRZ KDYH WKH\ VFRUHG Ă€YH" Better suited to a game of touch cup, the Panthers offer a reprieve to the discomfort of competitiveness. They are living, spewing proof of Inter - Mural’s soul. But they’re still awful. And we still FDQ¡W GHWDFK RXU DIĂ€QLW\ 3OD\ RQ Panthers. Elsewhere in the table, Ecosoccer are on course for a third straight SURPRWLRQ 0XVW EH WKH Ă€QDQFHV Arf. Hot on their heels is practically everyone else bar Sex Panthers. Stalwarts Henderson Hall and Real Mechanical lurk alongside Gashletico,

Crayola and Borussia Forsythe with one point separating the bunch. 0\ Ă€QJHUV VKLYHU ZLWK H[FLWHPHQW just typing it. And what of the First Division? The cream? The sell-outs? The Prima Donnas? The usual suspects have dominated proceedings thus far with Dyslexic and Garnett slugging it out like non-contact boxers. Politique, a strong, physical side are two points adrift on 10 and not out of contention. Hurricanes typically waft in the realms of relegation. Leazes and Lokomotiv boast proOLĂ€FDF\ LQ WKH IRUPV RI Âś&URXFK\¡ Mellor and Stee Mclovin. Doubts remain whether either team has the ambition or ability to surpass mediocrity. Arguably the hottest case in Intra Mural though is that of Barca-Law1D Champions only three years ago, the Lawmen are without a point and sinking faster than Luton Town. It may be undeserved, it may be bad luck, but a bit of resolve is required post-Christmas to save the stature of an IM giant. Moral high JURXQG PXVW EH GLVSODFHG D Ă€JKWing spirit must be instilled. Let’s see what happens. And so it goes on this thing of ours. As always with Intra Mural (correct spelling: learn it) nothing is set in stone. The second half of the season is very much the business end, with more games and better conditions; so a lot can change. Will Sex Panthers win? Will Barca go down? Do you care? Probably not. Me neither. Have a good Christmas.

Shocker Saturday as Barca and Medics crash out of cup Tom James Sports Editor In a day of shocks in the Saturday Intra Mural Cup Boca Seniors knocked out reigning cup champions Barca/DZ 1D WR VHW XS D PRXWK ZDWHULQJ WLH ZLWK 1HZFDVWOH 8QLYHUVLW\ PHQ¡V VHFRQG WHDP LQ WKH TXDUWHU Ă€QDOV A Seb Bance strike on the hour was enough to give Boca the biggest win in their history, as they deservedly held on for a hard fought win. 3OD\LQJ RQ WKH * %RFD ZHUH DEOH to play the samba football which has been missing at times this season as Bance and Lloyd from X-Factor look-a-like Ed Gray controlled midĂ€HOG ZLWK ZDWHU FDUULHU Âś3DVWD¡ 0F1HLOO VLWWLQJ MXVW EHKLQG &DSWDLQ %ULGJHV LQ Ă€QH IRUP DIWHU a hat-trick in his last game, came into his own as the lone striker, taking up positions in the channel on numerous occasions and causing the Barca defence constant problems with his pace as Adam Sutherland watched on with great admiration. %DUFD Ă€UVW GLYLVLRQ UHJXODUV LQ both the Wednesday and Saturday leagues, had a game on their hands but appeared to lack creativity, and early on it was clear that a cupset was on the cards as Boca looked the more likely. The goal eventually came just after half time as Bance clinically took his chance to send the crowd into a state of euphoria not seen since George Davenhill danced in Sinners. With the all important goal behind them, Boca sat back and defended OLNH KHURHV ZLWK WKH EDFN Ă€YH DOO SXWWLQJ LQ Ă€QH SHUIRUPDQFHV

A Barca free kick two minutes from time rattled the bar but it was Boca’s day and it is the Samba boys who progress to the next round. Elsewhere in the cup, Boca’s next opponents made hard work of their game against the Medics 2nds, the University’s second team eventually winning 7-5 in what resembles more of a rugby score. The Men’s third team also progressed at the expense of Modern Languages Society thanks to a comIRUWDEOH ZLQ The thirds will meet Dyslexic in the next round, who had to rely on penalties to see them through against Dynamo Giro. With the scores level at 1-1 after ninety minutes, it was Adam ‘SmĂŠagol’ Forster who scored the decisive penalty to put his side through after Josh Crawford had saved two Giro spot kicks. Third Division side Tony and the Yeboah’s pulled off the other shock of the day by knocking out First DiYLVLRQ FKDPSLRQV 1HZFDVWOH 0HGLFV 1st at Longbenton. The Medics began brightly and should have opened the scoring with a close range header that was well blocked by Shane “The Catâ€? Parkin in the Yeboah goal. The Yeboah’s found themselves being pressed back for long periods by their more illustrious opponents, but it was they who almost took the lead when Josh Cockroft rose highest from a corner only to see his header Ă DVK QDUURZO\ RYHU WKH FURVVEDU The Yeboah’s stout defence was almost breached towards the end of WKH Ă€UVW KDOI ZLWK 3DUNLQ GLYLQJ IXOO

stretch to his right to keep out a bullet header from a Medic’s set piece. The Medic’s dominated proceedings in the second half. Good work down the left hand side saw the ball superbly cut back to Craig, but he couldn’t keep his thunderous volley down. The game looked to have been settled 20 minutes from time as the Medic’s took the lead. A corner was only half cleared by the Yeboah’s and a superb delivery by Theo Adjetey was bundled home at the far post after sloppy marking IURP 1LDOO %DQFURIW Hopes of a Yeboah equaliser were looking slim, but the unthinkable happened just three minutes from time. A hopeful ball over the top from ELJ 1DWKDQ 'HHPLQJ FDXVHG D UDUH moment of panic in the Medic’s defence. Simon Julian did brilliantly to keep the ball in play and Jack “Super Subâ€? Gray managed to prod home KLV Ă€UVW JRDO RI WKH VHDVRQ IURP DQ acute angle to send the Yeboah players into raptures. The Yeboah’s hung on to send the game into the dreaded lottery of penalty kicks and it was the Third Division side who maintained their unbeaten record this season as the Medics contrived to miss three penalties in a row. The Yeboah’s celebrated as if the cup was already won, in what is surely the biggest result in their short history, and they now go cartwheeling into the next round.

Eye on the ball: Agrics in action against the Southern Fairies earlier this season

Cheeky Ladies in top spot at half-way stage Colin Henrys The newly formatted Intra Mural rugby union competition has played KRVW WR DQ HYHQWIXO VWDUW WR WKH 10 season. Few would have anticipated defending-champions Engines being rooted to the bottom of the table without a single victory in seven matches, while Agrics 2’s solitary victory has made the current side amongst the most successful in their history. At the top of the table last season’s cup winners Cheeky Ladies have started strongest, opening up a seven-point lead albeit having played a game extra. Only six points currently separate the next six teams and they’ll have it all to play for when they return after Christmas. The biggest shock of the season so far came just three weeks into the season at Redhall Drive. After conFHGLQJ SRLQWV LQ WKHLU ÀUVW WZR matches, Engines entered the third match of the season in desperate need of a win. James Stark’s Agrics 2’s had other ideas; Richard Padley amongst the try-scorers to record a famous victory. Meanwhile, their remarkable victory against Engines aside, it has been business as usual for Agrics 2. Having conceded over 250 points already, their position in the dizzy heights of eighth place looks very fragile. Some very physical displays from Armstrong have seen them rack up three wins in their opening six matches. Consistency has been an issue though and an opening-day defeat of Larrikins is the only victory to come over a team ranked above them. Titans are currently level on points with Agrics 1. Strong defence saw the Agrics begin the season with back-to-back successes, but a lead-

ing performance from Medics captain Jack Mercer proved enough to halt their run three matches in. Defeat to Medics was followed by two further defeats at the hands of Cheeky Ladies and Southern Fairies respectively, leaving Agrics 1 stuck exactly mid-table. In the top-half, impressive displays from winger Tim Ward has propelled Larrikins into fourth place after a slow start to the season, while Jack Mercer’s Medics side were left to rue a trio of missed penalties as WKH\ QDUURZO\ ZHQW GRZQ LQ their top-of-the-table clash against Cheeky Ladies. They were to be left disappointed the following week too, after a dismally low-scoring draw against Larrikins means they have now gone a month without scoring a try. There have been no such problems for Southern Fairies however, as impressive performances from the outstanding Dave Smith, and several tries by Charlie Sain-Ley-Berry-Gray leave the Fairies in second place. The disparity in the number of games played is due to a horrendous injury to Fairies’ Jack Campbell, whose broken ankle caused the abandonment of their game against Medics at Close House. Away from such drama, the standout performers so far this season are Cheeky Ladies. Having narrowly missed out on the league title last year, they have launched this campaign in spectacular fashion. Their seven-point lead at the top of the table is largely thanks to an LPSHQHWUDEOH GHIHQFH ZLWK MXVW points being registered against the Ladies so far this season. The re-formatted competition means that there are still many JDPHV WR SOD\ LQ WKH 1HZ <HDU *LYen how tight much of the table is, a few more shock results could blow the race for the league title wide open.

46

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

SPORT

H. NEUENDORF

Royals no match for undefeated Loughborough Men’s Rugby

Newcastle 1sts Loughborough 1sts

10 35

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Table toppers: Newcastle took the lead through an Adam Armstrong penalty, only for Loughborough to run out clear winners after a one-sided game

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6SLULWHG ÀUVW WHDP GHIHDWHG E\ VWURQJ /HHGV 0HW Netball Round-up Kathryn Jones Netball Correspondent

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THE COURIER Monday 7 December 2009

47

SPORT

Hallam humbled in style H. NEUENDORF

Women’s Rugby

Newcastle 1sts 6KHIĂ€HOG +DOODP VWV

25 0

Ellie Robinson at Cochrane Park :KHQ 1:5 IDFHG 6KHIĂ€HOG +DOODP LQ WKH Ă€UVW PDWFK RI WKH VHDVRQ LW took sheer grit and determination to come away with a 25-0 victory: the VFRUH OLQH QRW UHĂ HFWLQJ WKH QDWXUH of what was a hard fought game. This time, Newcastle took to the Ă€HOG GHWHUPLQHG WR SURYH ZH KDG DGGHG VNLOO DQG Ă DLU WR RXU UHSHUtoire of bosh, and more bosh. From the kick off, every Newcastle player stepped up to the mark, and beyond. Rarely being forced back IXUWKHU WKDQ 6KHIĂ€HOG¡V 1HZcastle held their own against a large and physical team. Despite scrums being hindered by a pitch that could only be described as ‘swampy’ underfoot, not to mention a considerable weight margin, Number 8 Araba Chintoh was able to pick the ball, and a strong arcing run found her between the posts for RXU Ă€UVW WU\ Pedantic would be a generous adjective for the referee, who seemed to be uttering the words ‘back ten’ with irritating frequency. However, Newcastle kept discipline, and continued to make yards forwards, as well as backwards. Full back Gwen Tibbles ran an inside to absolute perfection to reFHLYH DQ RIĂ RDG OHDYLQJ WKH +DOODP defence static for try No.2. Running appeared to be the name of the game, as hooker George Mangan RXWSDFHG 6KHIĂ€HOG IURP WKH KDOIZD\ to consolidate on our lead. Fitness was a major factor, and afWHU KDOI WLPH WKH 6KHIĂ€HOG JLUOV ZHUH beginning to struggle to handle the fast pace of the game. Two succes-

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sive trys from wingers Charlotte Kitchen and Sophie Bale exploited this, as both freshers ran circles around an experienced opposition. With everyone enjoying the freedom of a good lead, white line fever appeared to strike the team. Flanker

Sophie Rogers found the muddiest DUHD RQ WKH Ă€HOG WR PDNH KHU FKDUJH over the line, only to be held up, with Sam Ireland also denied a try for a ‘knock on’. Although it has been a relatively strong start to the season for New-

castle, this was a true team performDQFH RQH WR EH SURXG RI &RQÀGHQFH ZLOO EH VN\ KLJK JRLQJ LQWR WKH ÀQDO JDPH EHIRUH &KULVWPDV DJDLQVW /LYerpool.

Raiders rule to take spoils on derby day American Football

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-DPHV 0F1DXJKWRQ On a miserable Sunday morning Newcastle Raiders travelled to Teesside to test their mettle against their oldest and bitterest of rivals. Newcastle came out of the block Ă€ULQJ .LFN RII DQG HIĂ€FLHQW GHIHQFH UHVXOWHG LQ JRRG Ă€HOG SRVLWLRQ WKDW the offense was quick to take advantage of; a couple of good runs from Miller culminated in a touchdown by quarterback Tate after some good blocking by Ford Wilding. Another great drive followed, with the elusive running fans are now accustomed to from Dryden producing large gains on the ground. The drive was eventually halted after a great catch from tight-end Andy Broadhead on 4th down was stopped just short of the marker. The defence closed the quarter in businesslike fashion. A defensive line that has started the season well forced a fumble and Newcastle recovered the ball. Penalties negated stronger running from Tate and Dryden and the ball was handed to Miller to do what he does best, relentlessly pounding it between the tackles and marching WKH RIIHQFH XS WKH Ă€HOG ,Q Ă€OWK\ ZHDWKHU 1HZFDVWOH¡V ZLGH receivers were proving they weren’t just there to look good. Hard down

ÀHOG EORFNV HQDEOHG 7DWH WR WDNH DGvantage of some cunning play-calling and run in for his second score of the day. The Raiders’ defence was again running hot, giving Teesside’s run-

ning game few options. Good pass coverage forced their QB to scramble wide only to be smashed out of ERXQGV WR ÀQLVK WKH GULYH $ ÀQDO GULYH EHIRUH WKH KDOI ZDV ultimately stopped by the Cougar

defence on 4th and goal, leaving the score 16-0 at half-time. The second half saw Tate strugJOLQJ WR ÀQG KLV UHFHLYHUV ZLWK 7HHVside getting close to sacking him; though thanks to several smart peel back blocks from linemen Carney and Kemsley, the Raiders’ line remained impenetrable. 7DWH ÀQLVKHG RII ZLWK DQ LPSURvised 30 yard scrambling touchdown, taking advantage of Wilding’s typically brutal blocking GRZQÀHOG DQG SXVKLQJ WKH JDPH from Teesside’s reach. Much improved punting allowed plenty of aggressive play-calling on Teeside’s defence, prompting several handling errors. Firth eventually capitalised, emerging from a pile of bodies with the ball. In the fourth quarter, Newcastle switched to their infamous change up offence in an attempt to close out the game before frostbite set in. $OO VWDU RIIHQVLYH WDFNOHU /HH 'DYLHV displayed his athleticism with some eye opening plays at fullback, even breaking free on a long run. With the league’s sole female player left to beat, the big man was astonishingly felled; a gut busting effort he will surely not forget in a hurry. Matt Hall saved any blushes running in a 10 yard touchdown untouched off the backside of Davies to end the game 28 – 0. Newcastle with four victories now prepare for the mouth watering away test at 6KHIÀHOG 6DEUHV EHIRUH WKH -DQXDU\ break.

Continued from back page But a momentary lapse in concentration allowed an away striker through on goal moments later. He looked to have equalised with a delicate lob over Kilshaw, but the Royals ‘keeper produced a sublime save, tipping the ball over his crossbar at full stretch to save his side. From the resulting corner Newcastle broke at speed, and winger Martin Hill controlled a long ball well, before beating his man and laying the ball on to Swainston. The fresher made no mistake, and lifted the ball cutely over the ‘keeper LQWR WKH IDU FRUQHU ZLWK D Ă€QH Ă€QLVK to extend his side’s lead. At 3-1 the game looked to be all over as the second period of extra WLPH EHJDQ EXW +XGGHUVĂ€HOG ZHUH not done, and the visitors’ captain sent an impressive 20 yard strike over Kilshaw and into the net to set XS D WHQVH Ă€QDOH With 12 minutes remaining after the goal, the Royals found themselves dropping deeper and deeper as they looked to close out the game. 7KLV OHG WR D +XGGHUVĂ€HOG PLGĂ€HOGHU UHFHLYLQJ WKH EDOO LQ VSDFH yards from goal, and he advanced before unleashing a curling effort which Kilshaw was again on hand to save well, as the ball looked to be heading for the top corner. And the win was sealed as Musonda completed his hat-trick in spectacular style. After a fraught +XGGHUVĂ€HOG DWWDFN WKH EDOO ZDV played up to Hammet, who held off his man before playing a delicate ball to Musonda. 6XFK LV WKH VWULNHU¡V FRQĂ€GHQFH WKDW he barely needed to look up, before audaciously chipping the ‘keeper from 18 yards to seal the victory. But in truth the game should have been over in normal time. A dominant if not inspiring disSOD\ IURP WKH 5R\DOV RQ D Ă€QH /RQJbenton 3G surface did not yield the goals it warranted. 3DUWLFXODUO\ LQ WKH Ă€UVW KDOI 1HZFDVWOH SOD\HG VRPH Ă RZLQJ IRRWEDOO EXW D EUDYH +XGGHUVĂ€HOG GLVSOD\ meant the hosts had to work extremely hard, and clear cut chances were few and far between. Their best two chances in the openLQJ PLQXWHV IHOO WR WKH PLGĂ€HOG pairing of George Coyle and Mikey Forrest respectively. A block tackle from Coyle created an opening for the Newcastle skipper, and as the ball bounced kindly into his path, a delicate lob struck the upright. It was Forrest who perhaps had WKH EHWWHU FKDQFH Ă€QGLQJ KLPVHOI LQ space on the edge of the area. But his strike sailed high over the cross bar and a frustrated Royals headed into the break at 0-0. Hill was always a threat down the right hand side in an intense battle with the away left back, and his through-ball to Swainston set up Newcastle’s best chance of the second period, with the strikers thunderous drive just missing the top corner with the ‘keeper beaten. Controversy then ensued with two dubious offside decisions. The home side believed they had a legitimate goal ruled out after Swainston, in the clear, squared the ball to Ed Tizzard. But as Tizzard stroked the ball into an empty net, the referees whistle sounded - Tizzard adjudged to have been just in front of Swainston as he played the ball, and it was ruled out for offside. And the Royals’ luck looked to have deserted them, as a pre-Christmas cup exit looked on the cards ZKHQ +XGGHUVĂ€HOG WRRN WKH OHDG minutes later. However, their never-say-die attitude, as well as a third consecutive hat-trick from their star man, means WKH\ IDFH 6KHIĂ€HOG +DOODP QGV LQ D third-round tie this Wednesday.

48

Monday 7 December 2009 THE COURIER

Interview with boxing promoter Frank Warren > Sport, page 41 Sports Editors: Paul Christian, Jamie Gavin and Tom James - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

Lough luck: Newcastle made to suffer at Cochrane Park

Match report, page 46 H. NEUENDORF

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4 2

(aet; 1-1 after 90 minutes) Jamie Gavin Sports Editor at Longbenton Yet another hat-trick from Chris Musonda sent Newcastle through to the next round of the BUCS Cup in dramatic fashion. But it was anything but plain sailing for the Royals against lowerleague opposition, and they needed H[WUD WLPH WR VHH RII +XGGHUVÀ HOG after a last-second goal from Musonda saved the home side’s blushes in normal time.

Musonda equalised with the very last kick of the game, and his third consecutive hat-trick was sealed with two goals in the extra 30 minutes, including a penalty and a magQLÀ FHQW ORE WR SXW WKH JDPH EH\RQG doubt. $ UHOLHYHG 1HZFDVWOH À UVW WHDP now head into round three, where they join the seconds and thirds who secured their spots last month. Despite dominating the game, Newcastle found themselves behind with just ten minutes remaining, as the visitors looked to have stolen all three points when a controversial goal broke the deadlock late on. A long diagonal ball put a HudGHUVÀ HOG VWULNHU LQ WKH FOHDU EXW DV WKH OLQHVPDQ UDLVHG KLV à DJ IRU RII

side, the away front-man stopped and allowed a winger to overlap and burst through on goal. Apparently onside, he had enough Chris Musonda’s late equaliser saved the Royals from cup exit time to compose himself and slot the ball underneath keeper Andy Kilshaw for 1-0. This left the Royals with little time to save themselves, and they desperately threw on another forward in the shape of Luke Hammett, who replaced left-back Mark Levine to form a four-man strike force. But as they pumped the ball for-

ZDUG +XGGHUVÀ HOG FRQVWDQWO\ cleared their lines and the hosts looked to be heading out. With seconds on the clock, they won a free-kick which was pumped forward into the area. The ball broke free, and as substitute Hammett shaped to hit home, he was pulled down. The Royals had their life-line as the referee pointed to the spot. %XW PLGÀ HOGHU 0LNH )RUUHVW ZDV GHQLHG E\ D À QH VDYH IURP WKH keeper, only for the alert Musonda to follow up and poke the ball into the net. 7KH À QDO ZKLVWOH VRXQGHG DV WKH home side celebrated the equaliser KHDUWEUHDN IRU D +XGGHUVÀ HOG ZKR were within touching distance of a cup exit.

The game was extended into extraWLPH DQG WKH à RRGOLJKWV ZHUH YHU\ much needed on a chilly evening at Longbenton. But the Royals, buoyed by the late goal, began the sharper team. They were awarded another penalty after striker James Swainston reacted quicker to a pull-back from the byline. He got to the ball just ahead of his marker and was up-ended, giving the referee no option but to give another spot-kick. This time Musonda stepped up, DQG WKH LQ IRUP VWULNHU À QLVKHG ORZ to the keeper’s left to complete the turnaround and put the home side in front. Continued on page 47

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