Courier 1317

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www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 26 October 2015 Issue 1317 Free

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The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students

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Nobel Prize results p.37

Research tunnel moving to Blyth to make way for new social space Boiler House to become multipurpose student function space Emerson Cavitation Tunnel to relocate to new facilities on the coast PhDs to be put on hold during move

got permission to do anything yet, but our intentions are to create a student function space.” This space will be able The University is renovating the Boiler to be used for congregation ceremonies, House to create a new social space for open days and performances. The students. This will mean relocating the Students’ Union will also be able to use Emerson Cavitation Tunnel, a world- the building. The renovation will probably involve renowned experimental facility which is used by the School of Marine Science removing the top floor extension to restore the original castellations, and and Technology, to a new site in Blyth. The cavitation tunnel is the only one Professor Stevenson said that they were in operation in the UK, and is used not hoping to “bring back the splendour” to just by the University but also for global the building. He continued: “The design was done research projects and by commercial companies. Although the main function in-house by some of our architectural of the tunnel is to test propellers, it has assistants that came out of the architecture school, so also been used for research into other marine-related !"##$%&'$()*+',%-$ we’re using students who have been working on areas, such as the water turbines and even the best ,.))'/%#0$.-1/2$ placements and then got paint to use to coat ships’ %&'$%.//'#$31##$ jobs within our estates department.” hulls. Professor Andrew In March 2016 the &45'$%*$6'$ Willmott, Head of the tunnel will be shut down, -.-('/7'78 School of Marine Science disassembled, cleaned and Technology, said: and repaired and then reassembled in a new, purpose-built “The University is very keen to ensure facility in the port of Blyth, around that the quality of its estates is the 13 miles away from Newcastle. This highest possible because we’re in a process is expected to take around nine very competitive market for higher months, during which time the tunnel education. As part of that exercise the University is focussing particularly on will be out of operation. All the projects currently using the the region around the central square, tunnel will have to be suspended, where the Boiler House is, and has including research for a major EU planned to renovate that building project and three Newcastle PhD because it’s in such a prominent projects, although the University has position.” The University hopes to open the ensured that students will not lose out refurbished building in September 2017, as a result of this. The Boiler House, situated in between in time for the celebrations for the fiftieth the Armstrong Building and the anniversary of Martin Luther King Students’ Union, will then be extensively receiving an honorary doctorate from refurbished, transforming the building Newcastle University. Both Newcastle and Northumbria Universities, as well into a multi-purpose event space. Professor Tony Stevenson, Deputy as Newcastle City Council, are planning Vice-Chancellor, clarified: “The plans a series of events to commemorate the are still being developed, so we haven’t Continues on page 4

By Mark Sleightholm Current Affairs Editor

The Main Boiler House is set to be transformed into a student function space Image: Mark Sleightholm

Medics killed unlawfully, coroner rules By Sinead Corkett-Beirne News Editor

An inquest into the deaths of Aidan Brunger and Neil Dalton, two Newcastle University medical students, has led to the coroner ruling that they were both killed unlawfully. The pair, both aged 22, died following an unprovoked attack which occurred as they were making their way back after a night out in Kuching, Sarawak, on the island of Borneo. Brunger, from Kent, and Dalton, from Ambergate in Derbyshire, were stabbed in August 2014 – three days prior to completing a six-week hospital placement in Sarawak. Malaysia’s high court found Zulkipli

Abdullah, a 23 year-old local fishmonger, guilty of committing the fatal stabbings and sentenced him to death in March. The inquest into Brunger and Dalton’s deaths was delivered at Derby and South Derbyshire Coroners court where it has been reported that Coroner Dr Robert Hunter became visibly upset as the families of the two students delivered heart-breaking statements. He said: “There were great hopes for them as doctors. The light that they shine far outweighs the darkness that befell them on 8 August. I know you will miss them terribly.” The enquiry heard evidence from pathologist Michael Biggs who revealed that Brunger was stabbed in the left side

of his chest, while Dalton was found to have two stab wounds to the chest and back. The students’ families said in a joint statement they were satisfied with the conclusion. “The loss of a child is utterly horrific and we still find it hard to believe we will never see our sons again,” they added in their statement. “We will always miss Neil and Aidan terribly, and wonder what might have been if they were able to pursue their dream of being doctors and helping others. A memorial football match between the Newcastle Medics and Belper United took place on 25 October.

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The Courier

By Frank Williams The British Council, the organisation responsible for spreading ‘Brand Britain’ (things like the Monarchy and James Bond) around the world, is shortly to open applications for its 2016-17 Assistantship Programme. The British Council offers placements to teach English in schools across the globe, from Austria, France and Germany, to Canada, China and Latin America. Placements last between seven and nine months, usually beginning in September. Language Assistants spend a minimum of twelve hours in the classroom each week, supporting English teaching, planning lessons, and introducing UK culture through extracurricular activities. In return, the assistants receive a salary and occasionally free accommo-

dation. Katy Turner, one of this year’s British Council Ambassadors, told The Courier that her experience last year in France was ‘absolutely amazing’, and highly recommended the programme to other eager students. While Language Assistants have to fund their own travel to the placement, they receive remuneration for their work – around one thousand Euros per month, which covers their overall cost and, as Katy noted, “leave you with a profit.� An A-Level standard grasp of the destination country’s language is required for most destinations, though no prior knowledge of Mandarin is required for placements in China. No prior teaching experience is required, and it is not essential to be an aspiring teacher. The eligible student must, however, be a native English speaker, have passed

two years of a university course, and have attended secondary school in the United Kingdom. Ideally, students who want to take part should be second-year language students preparing to take a year abroad, students looking towards postgraduation or those thinking about taking a gap year. As placements only last a maximum of nine months, summer won’t be lost. Both the student and their CV will develop through cultural immersion and new friendships, in addition to helping people in a foreign country develop their language skills. Katy had plenty of time to travel around when not working, proving that there is enough time to be a tourist as well as an educator. Previous Language Assistants have started small businesses and appeared on Chinese television. The Programme is an opportunity to

boost one’s transferable skills. Cultural awareness, communication and presentation skills, creative thinking and problem solving, time management and teamwork are all abilities that can be developed whilst teaching English abroad. After the experience many Assistants become teachers, though the skills acquired are transferable to whichever career path they might be considering to choose. This is a unique opportunity to travel, meet new people, learn a new language and help improve someone else’s life. If you want to know more, the Ambassadors are holding an information briefing in the Herschel Building (Lecture Theatre 3) on Wednesday, 4 November from 4-5pm. Applications open online at www.britishcouncil.org on Sunday. The deadline for submission is early December.

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The Courier

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Monday 26 October 2015

The project participants developed a strategy to increase the use of open data in the North East Image: Ivan Lazarov

!"#$%&##'#(")&%(#'*+,-,(&',*&%').(.'"#./& By Maria-Magdalena Manolova Four Business School students at Newcastle University and three School of Management students at Xiamen University (China) got together with the mission to raise awareness of open data and its importance to local councils and new businesses. The students worked on a three weeks’ internship at the Federation of Small Businesses (FSB) which took place between 27th July and 14th August. In that period, they developed a marketing strategy whose aim is to increase the use of open data in the North East. Open data can serve as a channel between residents and a council through which citizens can report problems,and see what the council is currently improving. Open data could also be useful to start-up businesses as it provides them with new information and enables them to get a clearer idea of the market. James Barber, a Newcastle University student who was part of the team, explains: “Open data has so much potential and until all data is 100% open, then the full benefits will not be felt by society. Open data can increase efficiency of local councils, which should create cost savings, allowing resources to be spent in other areas of local government such as schools and hospitals.” James likes the fact he could make a real impact on change as the project was mainly focused on working with local councils and businesses. The internship also helped him develop his communication, organisational, research and presentational skills while also making new friends.

James Addy, Newcastle University Economics student, who was also part of the team, said: “The internship has been a great experience. I have learned a lot of important information about open data and we met many business people who taught us valuable skills. “My favourite thing about the internship was getting to know all of the other interns and getting to show the international students around the city and introduce them to British culture.” Yawen Guo, a Xiamen University student, said: “The FSB internship was a fantastic opportunity for me to gain some international experience because this was my first time abroad. Working with so many talented people helped me improve my interpersonal and business skills.” “After doing some research, I found that open data is quite useful, but people in China are not familiar with this concept, so I think this internship gave me lots of experience in this growing area,” Guo added. The students visited Emmaus North East – a charity based in Gateshead which helps people who have experienced social exclusion and homelessness. James Barber is going to work further with them in order to increase social media presence of the charity and its interaction with Newcastle University students. Simon Hanson, Project Supervisor and Development Manager at FSB North East, said: “We were delighted to work in partnership with Newcastle University Business School on our open data project and cannot praise the team highly enough. “The level of professionalism and

quality of support given by the international team of students in starting, supporting and completing our open data project was world class,” Hanson said. “The report that was produced has set the foundation shaping our campaign to help the North East lead the way in

how we use open data. Inevitably, this campaign will help continue the recovery of the regional economy and help us grow digital capability across the North East.” The internship at FSB is part of Newcastle University Business School’s

Global Experience Opportunity (GEO) programme, which encourages students to gain valuable experience, which will improve their future employability. Newcastle University Business School is in the top 1% of the world’s best business schools.

NUBS is in the top 1% of the world’s best business schools Image: Ivan Lazarov

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Monday 26 October 2015

The Courier

Princess embarks on royal trip to Newcastle riorating condition. The eleven year old is receiving treatment at the centre for Congenital Myasthenic Syndrome. Princess Eugenie returned to NewcasEllie’s mother, Tracey said: “It was tle University on 9th October 2015 to lovely to meet Her Royal Highness meet with Vice Chancellor Chris Brink Princess Eugenie. She was so nice to talk to discuss the work that he and other to and seemed really interested in Ellie leading academics are doing to help and her condition. It was a real honour patients suffering from Muscular Dys- to meet her and we shared a lovely aftrophy. ternoon tea.” The research was showcased at the In the UK alone, above 70,000 people John Walton Muscular Dystrohy Re- suffer from Muscular Dystrophy or a search Centre which is located in the condition related to it. It is an incurable Centre for Life in Newcastle city centre, genetic condition that causes the musThe Princess, who obtained a 2:1 degree cles to weaken over time as a result of in English and History in the muscle fibres !8)#$#91#00#'($ changes of Art, was introduced which restrict the muscle’s to the work by Lord /5&1(2.#.$2'$ function. The most common John Walton, who exin the UK is Duchenne :#%1&.(0#$ type plained the main areas Muscular Dystrophy. of development to her; genetics consult&5#$2;/5,62'<$ antClinical these include translaat Newcastle Hospitals (5#&(;#'($ tional research, global NHS Foundation Trust, networking, outstandProfessor Straub said: “The &15,..$()#$*+7 ing patient diagnosis team were delighted to have and care, and pioneering clinical tri- the opportunity to present examples of als. Experts such as Kate Bushby, Rita our current research to Her Royal HighHorvarth, Hanns Lochmuller and Volk- ness. We were able to explain how imer Straub were present. portant this work is for improving our Pro Vice-Chancellor of the Faculty of understanding about the causes of musMedical Sciences, Professor Chris Day cle disease and in developing new therasaid: “This visit gave us the opportunity pies for patients. We were also able to to highlight the world-class work car- highlight the issues facing our patients ried out by the team researching mus- and families who are living with muscle cular dystrophy. The excellent practises disease.” which are exemplified in Newcastle are Pro Vice-Chancellor of the Faculty of setting the standards in Europe and im- Medical Sciences, Professor Chris Day proving treatment across the UK.” said: “This visit gave us the opportunity During her visit, Princess Eugenie met to highlight the world-class work carpatients such as Ellie Cockburn who ried out by the team researching mushas first-hand experience with the dete- cular dystrophy.

By Olivia Wilson

Princess Eugenie with Vice-Chancellor Chris Brink Image: Newcastle University

How clean is your water?

pollution in cities to improve the lives of millions of people around the world”, Johnson continued. A Hub will be generated from the proNewcastle University have joined forces ject, including nine other water comwith Northumbrian Waters to launch a panies alongside Northumbrian Water, new research project which will ensure will use their supply chain and acathat the United Kingdom maintains demic research to promote shared idea a clean, sustainable water supply. The generation, strategic road-mapping, project, which cost inno!"#$%&'($()#$*+$(,$ networking, £3.9 million, is vation, stimulation, designed to tackle research lead-#$()#$-#.($/0&1#$2'$ and fundamental chalership. The project 345,/#$(,$2'',6&(#7 is designed to help lenges which include population, improve the quality growth, aging infrastructure, and cli- of drinking water, reduce leakage, and mate change. ensure a clean, sustainable water supply The Engineering and Physical Sci- for the future. ences Research Council is funding a £21 According to Chris Jones, Northummillion ‘Engineering Grand Challenges’, brian Water’s Research and Developwhich the project is a part of; it is named ment Manager, “We believe it is imporTWENTY 65 (Tailored Water to ensure tant to work with universities to develop sustainability beyond 2065). innovative solutions to challenges the According to Jo Johnson, the Univerwater industry sities and Science faces now and in !8)#$/5,=#1($2.$ Minister, “We want the future. We are the UK to be the already collaborat>#.2<'#>$(,$)#0/$ best place in Euing with Newcastle rope to innovate 2;/5,6#$()#$?4&02(@$,A$ University in many and this £21 mil- >52'B2'<$%&(#5C$5#>41#$ areas including lion investment research into low0#&B&<#$&'>$#'.45#$ carbon and energy will bring together the nation’s recient treatment &$10#&'C$.4.(&2'&-0#$ effi searchers to adprocesses and dress some of the processes that %&(#5$.4//0@7 most pressing engiwork better in low neering challenges we face.” temperatures; the recovery of valuable “From ground-breaking work with by-products from wastewater; gene serobotics to advanced air-flow simula- quencing to help improve bathing wators, this investment will help tackle ter quality and reducing flooding from our aging water infrastructure and air sewers.”

By Sinead Corkett-Beirne News Editor

The Courier

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Monday 26 October 2015

‘The University is committing a substantial investment’

The Emerson Cavitation Tunnel occupies the Boiler House Images: Mark Sleightholm

Continued from front page main options offered to students being the work that they’ve done so far… we to use another cavitation tunnel in would like to see them get something anniversary. The redevelopment of the Boiler Europe or to work as research assistants positive out of the move and that’s really House is part of a larger plan to in the School and then return to their what we want to support them to do.” Professor Willmott added: “The transform the centre of campus. King’s PhDs once the tunnel is back in use. Road has been extensively remodelled, Professor Willmott explained that the University is committing a substantial and the Armstrong Building is currently University had ensured “that there were investment into this project of relocating undergoing a major restoration. Part of appropriate alternative arrangements or the tunnel and putting up a new other ways that we could support them building for it.” The cost of the move is this restoration involves so that they were not estimated at around £1.5 million, and “turning the building !8(02&02&;4&-)$& going to be disadvantaged the new site will allow the department around”, so that the financially or to expand. After the move the School central quad becomes '(%&;011%2'& either ultimately in terms of will employ a full time technician to the main entrance. This 6()*1%&0*&'(%& their academic progress.” oversee the tunnel. will allow congregations He added: “They [the The Marine Science and Technology to flow from King’s Hall ',**%/<2&(02'#$47 students] were initially school is currently spread over five to the newly renovated a little disappointed that different sites: the Armstrong Building, Boiler House. Work cannot begin on the project they were going to be impacted by the the Ridley Building, the Boiler House, the until the cavitation tunnel, installed relocation of the tunnel, but we made it Dove Marine Laboratory in Cullercoats in the building in 1950, is removed. clear that the School and the University and a Marine Station at Blyth. The Although the University’s initial have a duty of care and responsibility Marine Station only opened a year ago, plan was to scrap the tunnel entirely, for these students.” Several staff and and is the new permanent home of the Professor Willmott persuaded them to students started a petition to “stop the Marine Science department’s research relocate it. He explained: “I developed a relocation of the Emerson Cavitation vessel. Relocating the cavitation tunnel case with the support of the faculty pro- Tunnel”, which has attracted 478 to Blyth will integrate it with these new facilities, while the rest of the school will vice chancellor to move the tunnel. In signatures from around the world. For international students to extend remain on the main campus. developing that project I had to ensure Professor Willmott continued: “I view that wherever it was going to move to, their PhDs, they will need to ensure this as a vote, an the potential downtime was going to be that they are still !=%5%$)/&2')--&)*3& endorsement of the compliant with minimised.” laws, but that the Blyth was chosen as the new home visa 2',3%*'2&2')$'%3&)& importance University University places for the tunnel because it had space for a the committed .%'0'0#*&'#&2'#.&'(%& on Marine Science building to be constructed in a relatively has Technology. short space of time, and because it is to supporting all $%/#6)'0#*&#-&'(%&',**%/>&and There aren’t many where the School’s research vessel and the students. Dr +(06(&()2&)''$)6'%3& UK universities that other research buildings are located. Bryn Jones, Dean Postgraduate work in this area The tunnel is expected to be back in of ?@A&201*)',$%27 Studies, said: “We’re and this University operation by January 2017. anticipating has a long and proud During the move the tunnel will be not cleaned, before being reassembled at the students to be out of pocket at all in any tradition of doing research and teaching in this area. new site. Although the tunnel has been way as a result of this move.” He continued: “Ideally we’ll use the “It is very pleasing to see that the modified several times, including major modernisation work in 1980, 2000 and time that the tunnel move takes to allow University recognises the importance 2006, this is by far the biggest change in them to get some other positive benefits of what I think you could term a major from their PhDs, whether that is time national facility... and is willing to put it the tunnel’s history. The University has spoken to the PhD as a research assistant... or by allowing into a building which is vastly superior students affected by the move, with the them extra time to publish papers from to the Boiler House.”

Postgrad loan age No registration, no limit angers Unis democracy, study warns

two out of the possible four-hundred and sixteen scholarships granted were awarded to students aged thirty and Several Russell Group universities have over. At one of the institutions, thirtyexpressed their discontent about the eight percent of scholarship holders Conservative government’s decision to were thirty or over. implement an age limit on postgraduA report carried out by the six univerate loans. sities reveals that students aged thirty As of next year, state-approved loans or over were more likely to have wider for students applying for a master’s pro- participation characteristics than ungramme will only be granted financial dergraduate students, which may have support on the condition that they are prevented them from progressing to under the age of thirty. The reason be- studying for a postgraduate sooner. hind this is that the Such characteristics government claims !8(%&$%.#$'&6#*6/,3%3& may include a disathat older people bility, a background tend to be in a bet- '()'&2',3%*'2&#5%$&'(%& in the care system, ter financial position caring responsi)1%&#-&9:&+%$%&*#'& or in comparison to bilities of their own. undergraduate stu- *%6%22)$0/4&0*&)&2'$#*1& The report also condents as they more that students À QDQFLDO SRVLWLRQµ cluded likely to secure alover the age of thirty ternative finances to were not necessarily support themselves. However, six lead- in a strong financial position. According universities – including Newcastle, ing to the report, ninety-two percent of Leeds, York, Manchester, Sheffield, and unsuccessful scholarship applicants of Warwick – have disputed the govern- all ages who did not pursue postgraduments claims and urged for the removal ate study claimed that a lack of financial of the age limit or consider exempting support was a significant obstacle. Acstudents from disadvantaged back- cording to a survey which questioned grounds at the very least. first degree graduates who studied at the Postgraduate scholarship schemes six institutions, graduates from poorer for students from under-represented backgrounds may be more susceptibackgrounds are currently offered at the ble to further borrowing than students institutions in an attempt to make fur- from wealthier backgrounds as they pay ther education more accessible. Statis- off their undergraduate fee debts. tics reveal that during 2014-15, eighty-

By Sinead Corkett-Beirne News Editor

By Sophie Chapman Research conducted during the general election has revealed that voter registration poses a larger threat to politics than electoral fraud. The investigation was carried out during the general election in May 2015 by Dr Toby James and Dr Alistair Clark, who both work in University of East Anglia’s School of Politics. Both claim that the main problem at polling stations was not electoral fraud but citizens being refused to vote as they were not on the electoral register, According to their research, more than two-thirds of polling stations turned away a potential voter during the general election. Possible solutions that they proposed to combat this was to carry out an investigation into election day registration, automatic registration, or allowing citizens to vote at other polling stations. James and Clark have warned that making registration and voting more difficult will create more problems than it actually will solve. The main problem is not fraud but voter registration. More than two out of three polling stations turned away a potential voter during the general election as they weren’t on the electoral register.

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Alternatives on how to improve voter registration have been suggested, such as same-day registration which is currently being trialled in America. Automatic registration and being able to vote at other polling stations have also been proposed, as they could be measured on a pilot scheme which determines the feasibility before being used across the country.

!"#$%&'()*&'+#& #,'&#-&'($%%&.#//0*1& 2')'0#*2&',$*%3&)+)4&)& .#'%*'0)/&5#'%$&3,$0*1& '(%&1%*%$)/&%/%6'0#*7 Dr Alistair Clark states, “While cases do exist, electoral fraud is not as widespread a problem as might be expected. Needless obstacles should not be put in the way of those eligible to vote who wish to do so. This means that new means of voting need to be considered, and these need to be properly resourced by government.” Introducing new obstacles such as voter ID or a reduction in postal voting could lower voter turnout, especially in local

and council elections. Rather than focusing on making voting more secure (or what some see as difficult), research suggests making vote registration easier and increasing turn out should be more of a priority. Many people think they are automatically registered to vote upon once they turn 18 years old or because they pay council tax. This is not the case and educating people who want to and are able to vote should be a priority over stopping what little fraudulent activity does take place. Alternative methods to reduce fraud without decreasing the accessibility of voting include assessing the financial needs of voting services and providing further resources to improve the ability of officials to investigate allegations of fraudulent activity. Similarly, training and equipping polling station staff to deal with investigating and tackling fraud at the polling station itself are also a “crucial issue” in eliminating this threat to democracy. If the review is fast-tracked the results may become apparent as soon as December 2015, which could lead to reduced turnout in elections taking place in 2016 as more people are turned away.

The Courier

!"#$%&

Monday 26 October 2015

!"#$%&'(")'&*+,()-.$/&"*"('0$-&+,(1**2 lamic Society has plans to have Henna artist come down for students interested in having a temporary tattoo. The Newcastle Islamic Society has plans Students with strong-arm strength to hold a series of fundraising activities can participate in an arm wrestling fight that will be held outside the Student or those with excellent finger speed can Union from dates 26 October to 1 No- compete in a Fifa competition. vember 2015. A Car Boot Sale selling decorated A project of Islamic relief, The Char- stationeries will be held outside King ity Week, is an annual event run by George Building and that will end the Islamic societies of universities world- weeklong Charity Week event, said Rowide in the United Kingdom, Ireland, bina. Canada, Switzerland and Qatar. Robina explained that this year’s The aim of this project is to support Charity Week is slightly different from orphans worldwide from the collections the previous years. made from the activities, “On the first day of which will be channelled !9.$"6*2$(" Charity Week, 26th Ocdirectly to the Islamic tober 2015, a survey will )1"-*)2-"'*" Relief Organization. be open and anyone who Last year, with mere donated can go onto the .$0%"+$7&-$$1" number of 12 volunCharity week.org website teers, The Newcastle Isand actually vote which )2":&+6,8 lamic Society managed projects they want their to raise a sum of £2,000 from activities money to go!” she said. such as the Daily Bake Stall, University “I attended a meeting last week and Challenge against Northumbria Univer- they hinted that one is going to help the sity, Football tournament, A Girls Night refugees in Burma and another giving Movie Session and a Pizza Dinner Night psychological support for children in out. war torn Syria.” This year, The Newcastle Islamic SoThe Newcastle Islamic Society opens ciety has decided to line up the Charity their invites to everyone from all differWeek with an awash of different activi- ent backgrounds to participate in this ties from the previous year. annual event. The society interviewed Robina, the Interested participants have to grab Project Manager of Newcastle Univer- the society’s T-Shirt from any commitsity Charity Week 2015 and also vol- tee who will be at the daily bake stall unteer of the Islamic Society, where she held outside the Student Union and revealed that daily baked goods and then would be able to get involved with homemade hot Chai and Arabic coffee any of the activities. will be available daily outside the StuPhotographs from the previous year dent Union. of Charity Week and more information Cupcake decorations and a chocolate of the Charity week Newcastle Islamic foundation have been planned as well. Society 2015 can be found on the sociRobina also mentioned that the Is- ety’s Facebook webpage.

By Yumi Nakajima

Islamic Society’s 2014 Charity Week included a bake sale Image: Islamic Society

!"#$%&'&()*+()($,-.* /%)'&'"'(*()'$01&).(2 year, encouraged historians, archaeologists and classicists to influence politicians, which ties into one of the goals of The Newcastle University Humani- the NUHRI. ties Research Institute (NUHRI) was Emma Tucker argued that the busilaunched last Thursday to promote in- ness model for newspapers and pubterdisciplinary research projects and act lishers of news has radically changed as an advocate for humanities research because of the technological change in in general. the recent decade. To launch the institute a debate was Tucker was optimistic about the role held at Newcastle Civic Centre on the of journalists. theme of ‘The Challenge of Change’ The Times deputy editor argued that featuring a number of guest speakers power will always need to be challenged related to the field of and journalists will humanities: continue to cam!!"#$!%&#'"#$%&'(" paign for the public Philippa Gregory, historical novelist $#)'*+",+-&$#"'.,'" good. who wrote The Other She used the exBoleyn Girl, Emma %*/$+"/)00",0/,(1" ample of war jourTucker, deputy editor nalists in the Crimeof The Times news- 2$$#"'*"3$"4.,00$2-$#" an War in the 1850’s paper, Harvard hisplayed a signifi,2#"5*&+2,0)1'1"/)00" who torian David Armitcant role in improvage, and poet Lemn 4*2')2&$"'*"4,6%,)-2" ing the conditions in Sissay. soldiers’ hospitals. 7*+"'.$"%&30)4"-**#8 The debate was The debate was focused on the everopen to some queschanging nature of our world as well tions from the public, who asked as on how societies can influence our whether and how we can make changes views on it. in our own lives who will benefit poorer Poet Lemn Sissay pointed out that people in different countries. poets and writers have always cataOne particularly inquisitive question logued change in society, especially targeted David Armitage asking ‘what from minority perspectives, which change has been as large historically as Philippa Gregory agreed with. we are seeing now?’. Gregory explained how researching Armitage replied by referring to the women in medieval and Tudor England first Portuguese and Spanish sailors has influenced her characters and what who sailed to the Pacific and the Ameriit can tell us about feminism today. cas in the 16th century and put the start David Armitage had a particular in- of the globalisation process, whilst emfluence in the debate as his latest book phasising that all changes seem to have The History Manifesto, published last a deep-rooted history.

By Scott Houghton

Monday 26 October 2015

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Happy 90th birthday NUSU

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The Courier

!"#$%&'( Lecturer’s wild rampage Bath

University of Bath lecturer Leah Wild has stepped down from her position after slapping a policewoman in the face. The Sociology lecturer was kicked off a Ryanair flight for being too drunk after she downed duty free bottles of Jack Daniels and brandy with a friend following a flight delay. The flight was delayed due to strikes by French air traffic controllers. The captain gave the pair ten minutes to calm down before having them removed from the plane but they failed to do so, instead shouting, swearing and listening to loud music. Neil Treharne, prosecutor, said: “They were waving their arms around, tossing their heads, swearing and were clearly drunk.â€? The pair were sentenced to four months in prison, suspended for 12 months and ordered to complete 80 hours of community service. Wild also paid ÂŁ500 compensation and was banned from Bristol Airport for a year.

Initiation annilhilation Cambridge

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S.H.A.G week returns

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Refugees gain bursuries Bristol

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A Cambridge University professor has warned students to stop bullying freshers into taking part in initiations. Professor Sir Alan Fersht has sent an email to students from Gonville and Caius College to stop the “sadistic� forfeits as he feared they would lead to newcomers leaving university as opposed to feeling welcomed. The email follows events that saw freshers being pressured into drinking ‘shots of liquor until they vomited’. He said drunk students were left ‘dumped’ on other students’ floors without any thought of the danger that they might choke on their own vomit. In a bold statement, he likened the yearly traditions of society initiations to ‘abuse’ which needed to be ‘nipped in the bud’ and insisted that students wrote letters of apology to their ‘victims’.

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The University of Bristol will offer five scholarships for Syrian refugees. The scholarships are part of a wider scheme by the city of Bristol and the university Student’s Union to welcome refugees into the community. However further pressure is being put on the university by students and the charity Fixers since the university still charges asylum seekers international tuition fees unless they have achieved full refugee status. Bristol Student Action For Refugees (STAR), a refugee charity, have teamed up with Fixers to create a film featuring the stories of several young people who have been forced to flee their homes in countries such as Syria, Sudan and Pakistan. The film was screened at the launch of the campaign on 7th October. According to the UK Council for International Student Affairs (UKCISA), the fees charged to ‘overseas’ students ‘can range from ÂŁ3,500 to about ÂŁ18,000 per year depending on the institution, the level of course and the type of course.’

Legal high use soars Edinburgh

University of Edinburgh has been branded the ‘legal high capital of the UK’ according to Scottish MSP Paul Wheelhouse. The city has a total of 15 ‘head shops’ selling New Psychotic Substances. According to an investigation conducted by BBC Scotland, the number of calls to ambulance services in the country has risen by more than 1386% in the past five years with an average of six legal high related calls per day. Edinburgh students cited poppers, synthetic marijuana, “research chemicals� and party drug substitutes as amongst the most common types of legal high. One student noted that a friend had been hospitalised as a result of an overdose on Methoxphenidine (MXP). MSP Graeme Pearson agreed that legal highs were “a scourge and a growing menace that affects our society.� Sophie Norris

The Courier

07

Monday 26 October 2015

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Do we need to legalise weed? 3&5!"#$!'*)6$(7)"8!#97!7%(9::$;!)"7!<$(&!"&+$(9*%$!7"9*%$!&*!;('=7>!9!/&($!+)?$(9+!9::(&9%#!"&! %9**9?)7!'7$!7$$/7!")/$+8,!@5&!5()"$(7!9(='$!5#8!5$!7#&'+;!9*;!7#&'+;*A"!#96$!#&:$!B&(!;&:$ !"#$% &"''()*+

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012

annabis legislation has been recently brought to the fore again after comments made by the Liberal Democrat Health Spokesman Norman Lamb. Possibly the most poignant of his comments asked why we put a potentially dangerous product into the hands of criminals (“who have no interest in your welfare at all”) rather than seeking to control it ourselves. Personally I feel that the health benefits alone justify cannabis legalisation. Not only has it been is shown to improve the conditions of sufferers of myriad diseases but it has also been clinically proven to slow progression of Glaucoma which often causes blindness. There has even been evidence which suggests that it can reverse the harmful effects of tobacco smoking by killing off cancerous cells, stopping them spreading as well as helping to relieve nausea and other side effects associated with chemotherapy. Cannabis can also be used to control the symptoms of epilepsy and slow the progression of Alzheimer’s disease—the research of which is currently having vast amounts of money pumped into it and relieves the pain caused by Multiple Sclerosis. People associate cannabis with paranoia yet in low doses it has been found to actually decrease anxiety. This list is not exhaustive and no doubt benefits to other diseases will be found. I would also mention that while cannabis use has been linked with low productivity it is also thought to improve creativity.

“People associate cannabis with paranoia yet in low doses it has been found to actually decrease anxiety”

There are societal benefits too. Colorado is a perfect example for the benefits that progressive drug policies can have for communities. Taxes on cannabis in Colorado have brought in $40.9m since legalisation in 2012, allowing an extra $8m to be spent on youth prevention efforts and public health programs. In Portugal all drugs have been decriminalised since 2001, allowing possession of 10 days’ worth of drugs at any one time. Since then rates of drug addiction, drug-related new HIV cases, drug-related deaths and drug-related crime have

4"#$(!&:)*)&*7C I think marijuana can have quite a negative effect on health; even though people say it isn’t addictive, there are those who abuse it. Also it could potentially pave the way for decriminalisation of “harder” drugs, which definitely wouldn’t be a good thing. Richard Wardle I have no strong opinions on the legalisation of cannabis, but I do feel that the authorities have much more important things to chase up. If people really want to take it then I don’t see any problem with it at all, there’s a lot worse substances people can take! Jack Parker

all decreased; this coincidence. God forbid I ever agree with Russell Brand about anything but

is no

“Taxes on cannabis in Colorado have allowed an extra $8m to be spent on public health programs”

he has been one of the few remotely sensible voices (never thought I’d say that) on drug policy, rightly arguing for a long time that addicts should be treated as patients, not criminals. Given that our prisons are horrendously overcrowded and Police services stretched to breaking point as a result of cuts to frontline services I don’t see any point in persecuting people for possessing drugs when so many other crimes are so much more serious. Equally, the benefit of legalisation rather than decriminalisation would be the extra tax revenues that could be made available at least partly to our struggling NHS. My final point would be that so many other things that we consume regularly are so much worse. The common adage is to compare alcohol and tobacco to cannabis and about how much worse they are and for good reason; in 2012 there were 8,367 alcohol related deaths with alcohol abuse costing overall about £3.5bn. There are roughly 100,000 deaths a year attributed to smoking in the UK, although the cost of smoking to the NHS perversely is estimated to be lower, although still £2bn a year. In comparison, although the Daily Mail would have us believe that 30,000 people die from cannabis use a year the fact that the death of one woman attributed to cannabis poisoning made national news in 2014 would suggest that deaths are not actually commonplace. While you obviously can’t ignore the fact that cannabis can cause health problems too, realistically nothing nice is ever that good for you. In the face of all the benefits that cannabis legalisation is both postulated and in some cases proven to bring I find it hard to justify its continuing criminalisation.

A

nnouncements were made in last week’s edition of The Courier that the University has reviewed and altered their stance on drug policy in relation to accommodation contacts. Naturally this has been heralded as a tremendous success; a step towards a better, brighter and more sympathetic tomorrow. And as with all acts of reform, the inevitable followup is “what should change next?” Many within the University long for the legalisation of cannabis. The arguments for legalisation consist of the following themes: if alcohol and smoking are legal why isn’t cannabis? What about the benefits of cannabis manifest in music, art, literature and other forms of entertainment? The experience of smoking cannabis is enlightening. If cannabis was legal it would be safer due to regulation. Should cannabis become legal any distributer would be taxed raising money for the public. Admirable points you may argue. However, lets consider the opposition to these notions. After all, not all students pollute their brains with such nonsense. Firstly, if you believe that because alcohol is legal cannabis should also be legal, consider the immense harm that alcohol does to the body. Why legalise

34

additional hazards? Is it out of a peculiar sense of fairness that people want an array of harmful substances lining the shelves of our supermarkets? Is it for equality that we should legalise cannabis, so that cannabis does not feel left out of the Waitrose social gathering on aisle 9?

“Is it out of a peculiar sense of fairness why people want an array of harmful substances lining our supermarket shelves?”

What of the benefits cannabis offers to artists and musicians, because obviously their work was enhanced by drugs…The only response to that is to consider why they were not capable of producing such songs while in a sober state. Was cannabis or talent responsible for their work? It seems that too much emphasise has been placed on the beneficial effects of cannabis in the music industry, so much so that the genius of great rock and roll bands faces annihilation by the false legacy of drugs. What is more, should the audience expect musicians to damage their minds so that we can tap our feet rhythmically to their tunes? I move now to the idea that smoking cannabis gives you a pleasant feeling and you are in some way enlightened. I do not doubt that the smokers of cannabis feel happy afterwards. But once again ask yourself why you rely on a substance to do this for you. If you are unable to relax yourself, then is the answer really drugs? Probably not. Within this observation lies the great truth. The people who wish to see cannabis legalised do so for entirely selfish reasons— it makes their life easier. They are not bothered about the tremendous amount of harm drugs inflict on people or their fellow drug users. The motives for legalisation are utterly selfish and deceitful.

“The people who wish to see cannabis legalised do so for entirely selfish reasons - it makes their life easier”

We move now to the final two points of why cannabis should remain illegal. The arguments that cannabis will be safer and secure more taxes if legal are flawed. Firstly, what evidence do we have that other harmful substances which are legal, such as alcohol and cigarettes, are safe because of their legal status? None. I leave the most odious of the contentions till last: that ‘the taxes raised from legalised cannabis outweigh the consequences.’ Well so much for a society that is concerned about mental health, so much for a society that values principles over base materialism. Finally those of you who are for legalisation haven’t been watching the news—we do have a slight problem ensuring that big businesses pay taxes. I suppose you believe corporate drug dealers would be honest? Here ends the rant.

It may seem odd, but I believe that cannabis should be legalised mostly for mental health. Studies have shown links between the consumption of skunk and psychotic disorders. If there was standardised, regulated strains of weed available, we avoid a youth culture that cherishes destroying their psyche via buckets and lungs in parks after school and encourage a healthier form of cannabis consumption. Jamie Shepherd The prohibition of cannabis effectively and unnecessarily demonizes and criminalizes a substantial proportion of the population that have/do partake in the recreational, escapist or health usages of cannabis. Dan Robertson

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Monday 26 October 2015

The Courier

Suffragettes: feminist heroes or terrorists?

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!"#$%&''()%* This summer I volunteered in Honduras for two and a half months. Our goal was to build a library and promote women’s rights in a country where many women are murdered, have few rights, and have Dickensian workplace discrimination. I went because I wanted to make a difference, and, yes, to see some more of a new continent. I purposely tried to pick a charity where we would actually do something useful, rather than the tourist companies you see pretending they’re doing aid work (a friend of mine went to South Africa and fed lion cubs; I’m sure South Africa has plenty of zoo keepers). Yet after a few weeks I realised the realities of this kind of aid work. We were all students who didn’t know anything about building a library and only one of us spoke Spanish fluently. We very minimally promoted women’s rights and our library building turned into mostly painting a few walls and collecting a bit of furniture. Before doing any kind of air-work it’s best to ask yourself: do I just want a holiday? And am I skilled enough to really do this? I wish we all had. Scott Houghton

W

e take it for granted now that men and women have the vote, but it was only in 1928 that all women over the age of twenty-one were given suffrage. It was largely thanks to the actions of the Suffragettes that the issue was first bought to public attention, yet the history of the group is darker than our GCSE History classes let us believe. Their militant tactics extended beyond destruction of property and chaining themselves to railings, and into the more troubling arena of dishing out white flowers to WW1 pacifists, as well as the infamous plan to blow up the Dublin Theatre. The subject has been dragged back into the limelight recently with the release last week of the film Suffragette, starring Carey Mulligan and Helena Bonham-Carter. The film, which follows the Suffragette movement during its early days of fighting for the right to vote, made headlines after the premiere was interrupted by Sisters Uncut, a feminist group protesting over reductions in funding to domestic violence services. Their actions, self-described as being akin to those of the Suffragettes, included lying down on the red carpet, and setting off flares while chanting slogans such as

afterwards, including Bonham-Carter who said, “I think this is exactly what our film is about�.

“Many people at the time criticised the Suffragettes’ militant approach for actually hindering the cause of female suffrage�

It remains to be seen whether or not the actions of Sisters Uncut will indeed make a difference to the government’s cuts to domestic violence services, but the direct action of the group does, once again, raise the question of whether or not the actions of the Suffragettes in the early 20th Century were effective in changing the government’s stance on female suffrage. Many people at the time criticised the Suffragettes’ militant approach for actually hindering the cause of female suffrage. It is true that a number of prominent politicians and newspaper editors of the time were, indeed, in favour of extending the franchise to women. The then Guardian editor, and ad-

as to how to further the Suffragette’s cause. He did, however, warn that militant tactics would achieve nothing. The establishment was extremely wary of bowing down to the wishes of a group who were often portrayed as a terrorist organisation. So did the militancy of the Suffragettes hinder or accelerate female suffrage? The first official organisation dedicated to the cause formed in 1897, and property-owning women aged over 30 received the vote in 1918, with full enfranchisement coming in 1928. When compared to the non-violent Civil Rights movement in the US, which began in 1954 and ended with the Civil Rights Act in 1968, it could be argued that the non-violent movement was more successful, as its aims were achieved in a far shorter period of time. However, to do so would be an injustice to a great protest movement which achieved incredible things for a significant portion of the population. As to whether or not Suffragette violence could be considered morally justified, if it made female suffrage a major issue, one that was impossible for the establishment to ignore, and demonstrated that women could be a political force for change, who could argue?

&()+,-"(-.-.-.-%"/Halloween is nearly upon us. A wholesome night dedicated to the celebration of death and all things spooky. Everyone loves Halloween, right? No. Halloween is an irritating commercial import from across the pond. The only night of the year when children are encouraged to harass their neighbours and accept sweets from strangers dressed as murderers. This October 31 I’ll be hiding with the lights out while waiting for the little horrors to take the hint and sod off. If I do answer the door this Halloween, you’ll be presented with a questionable collection of Chomps and Curly Wurlies from Christmases past. Trick or treat. Halloween is a poor excuse to rob people on their own doorsteps and force the elderly and the faint hearted into hiding. It is most unBritish to leave a significant proportion of the population wondering if they can risk putting on a light, or if it is safer to pee in the dark to avoid having to de-egg their car in the morning. Louise Clark

0"1&2*(34-0"!'(&5 What I wish to describe here is a very particular set of symptoms experienced by the writer since beginning his English Literature MA last year. The cause: an empty bank account. First some background. It’s worth noting that, since the study of books is a scoundrely pastime, only super-geniuses are permitted to study for free. The rest of us must pay for the pleasure. Since kissing goodbye to my student loan in 2014 a number of maladies have set to work on me. The first, and most discernible to the casual observer, is a generally belligerent, cynical attitude. This takes the form of telling friends and acquaintances they don’t know how easy they’ve got it. Occasionally the subject will pepper seminars with sentiments like, ‘we’re wasting our time here, surely?’ This is actually more dangerous to those near the infected. Second is a recurring fantasy about stealing things. Nothing big you understand. Just thoughts creeping up such as, will I get away with paying for two stops on the bus then getting off five stops later? It’s hoped this outlining of the symptoms will prompt further research into vaccines (more grants) in the future. Adam Thompson

Feminist values damaged by ‘fame-inist’ celebs

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or the past couple of years feminism has become associated with a new form of celebrity branding. Stars such as Miley Cyrus and BeyoncĂŠ have made a point of coming out in the public eye as feminists, while many others have been keen to tie their colours to the mast. Most recently the celebrity cast of the film Suffragette were photographed wearing matching t-shirts with the Emmeline Pankhurst-derived slogan, ‘I’d rather be a rebel than a slave’ printed on. While these celebrities have given the feminist movement a significant increase in media attention, they have also raised a familiar question: is all publicity really good publicity? While raising awareness around feminist causes and improving gender equality must be considered a good thing, this ‘fame-inist’ group can also be seen as defeating the purpose of the movement by contradicting the very core of some major feminist values. Feminism in its most basic terms is the belief that men and women should have equal rights. Importantly, however, it also supports the idea that women should not be objectified or valued

for their outward appearance alone. It is plain then that trying to raise peoples’ awareness of a movement that has these values while simultaneously associating it with only attractive young female celebrities is both inappropriate and hypocritical. This is not an uncommon critique, as commentators such as Roxana Gay have suggested in recent articles that we seem to find the idea of equality so unappealing that our celebrity spokespeople must embody exactly the opposite standards.

“Too often women (even Beyonce et al) are put off being associated with feminism because it is seen an extremist group�

One argument to be made for this new branding movement is that it does go some way to deconstructing the ‘feminazi’, ‘man-hater’ stereotype feminists are frequently and falsely put into. However, this should be seen as pandering to the ignorant. Too often women (even Beyonce et al) are put off being associated with feminism because it is

seen as an extremist group with a shared hatred for men. Feminists do not hate men. They only believe that the sexes should share equal rights. Even though ‘fame-inists’ are softening the stereotypes, they are also undermining the feminist image by making young, beautiful women that dance about in their underwear it’s new face. The majority of these women do not embody the morals and values of feminism, but in some cases directly oppose it. Take Miley Cyrus who focuses on her body to increase her fame, swinging halfnaked on wrecking balls, and grinding on singers during performances who have made songs about raping women – I’m thinking Robin Thicke and his Blurred Lines. Therefore, while a raised awareness is good for any movement, ‘Feminism’ doesn’t need an image change. It shouldn’t need glamour, twerking or fancy underwear to make it more palatable. The key principles are self-evident, and we don’t need Beyonce or a Super Bowl ad to get the message across. The fact that celebrities are using their publicity to bring feminism into the spotlight, while good in its most fundamental sense, should be kept separate from the definition of feminism itself. The ‘fameinists’ are merely a sub-group who barely scratch the surface in the fight for gender equality.

The Courier

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Monday 26 October 2015

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Scottish government faces a lack of proper parliamentary scrutiny as SNP politicians have been banned from criticising the government, and SNPcontrolled parliamentary committees are suppressing any reports disapproving of government policy. All this is on top of the legions of ‘cyber-nats’ who vilify anyone who expresses a non-approved view on social media – an SNP candidate even equated such dissenters to ‘Nazi collaborators’. The most prominent myth of the SNP, though, is that their policy on university tuition has been an enlightening and emancipating change for students. However, why is it that access to university for poorer students is worse in Scotland than England (and the gap is widening)? Sturgeon seemed unable to say when challenged. Student borrowing among poorer students is actually higher in Scotland because of the lack of support for such students. The party’s record on school attainment and its cuts to further education colleges also deserve scrutiny.

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he Scottish National Party likes to see itself as the most progressive force in British politics. It would be easy to view it as a ragtag bunch of unreconciled Trotskyists and nuclear unilateralists: in reality, though, the SNP is a cultish nationalist movement for whom the goal of independence comes above all else. Ideology; policy success; progressive reform – all are subservient to the secessionist cause. This helps to explain the centralising and almost authoritarian tendency of SNP policy, as well as its failure to convert its progressive rhetoric into progressive policy outcomes. Students envious of Scotland’s free university tuition should take note. At the SNP’s recent conference in Aberdeen, Nicola Sturgeon, the party leader, invited us to judge the party ‘on its records’ in government since 2007. The general election campaign failed to carry out proper scrutiny of this – instead focusing on the SNP’s potential role in a coalition with Labour. The party is unabashedly anti-austerity – at least you would think so. The reality is quite different: despite more favourable per capita funding than England, health and education budgets have been proportionally cut far more than equivalent budgets in England. Council tax has been frozen in Scotland, starving local authorities of much needed funding for local services, while the SNP has not once increased taxes (even on the wealthy), despite having the power to do so.

“When inconvenient truths are brought up, the keyboard warriors are ready” The SNP likes to call itself the only real opposition to the Conservatives. Yet for years the SNP minority government worked with the Scottish Conservatives in the Holyrood Parliament. What all this shows is that the SNP is a movement motivated by secession, not puritanical socialism – and that cause is best advanced by pitting Scotland against the rest of the UK. When in doubt, blame ‘Westminster’ or the Tories for austerity – or demonstrate how much more enlightened the SNP is by abolishing tuition fees. And when inconvenient truths are brought up, the keyboard warriors are ready to label them ‘smears’ and then dispatch the inquisitor with a torrent of abuse. Just ask frequent target JK Rowling – how could they! Even the late Charles Kennedy was not spared. The unionist parties in Scotland should expose the SNP’s failings in the upcoming Scottish elections. The radical liberal ideas which emerged during the Scottish enlightenment of the 18th century must not be trampled on for the sake of the regressive cause of independence.

“What’s more, the SNP has demonstrated a scarily authoritarian side”

What’s more, the SNP has demonstrated a scarily authoritarian side. The overly centralised Police Scotland has been criticised for its routine use of armed officers and the fact that Scots are four times more likely to be stopped and searched than people in England. So-called ‘Named Person’ legislation sees a state-appointed guardian given the power to intervene in the family life of any child for a variety of vague reasons. Football fans have been threatened with 5-year prison sentences if their songs and chants are deemed ‘offensive’. The

It’s about time we talked about asex

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et me open with some misconceptions about asexuality. Being Asexual doesn’t give you the magical powers of being able to reproduce without sex and last time I checked, we aren’t germs or sponges with the capability of doing so. It’s asexuality, not asexual reproduction. What does asexuality mean, though?

“Current statistics suggest that about 1% of the population is asexual” Asexuality is defined as the lack of sexual attraction to anyone or low/absent interest in sexual activity. It’s a broad spectrum that falls from asexuality - ‘under no circumstances’ - to demisexuality - ‘with the right emotional connection, maybe’. Wherever one falls, it’s easy to agree that it isn’t well known and something that isn’t taken seriously enough in today’s world. This is majoritively down to the misconception that to be human is to have sexual desire – and it is just not true. Current statistics suggest that about 1% of the population is asexual, though many experts think that the number may be higher and with such little respect show towards this spectrum, I’d have

thought it would be much higher than people realize. What is upsetting is that as asexuality is a very much uneducated topic, there will be those who have to hide in the shadows, unhappy. Netflix released a documentary to make the public aware of the realities of living in our world as Asexual. ‘(A)sexual’ follows David Jay, the founder of AVEN – Asexuality Visibility and Education Network – and highlights his experiences, explaining what it means to be an asexual in our sex-obsessed world. It is emotionally draining and offensive to watch, mostly because the documentary captures the true everyday trials that asexuals go through and every waved-off attempt to explain it. Jay goes under scrutiny on television three times within the documentary about how he ‘hasn’t found the right girl’ and his virginity is made into a complete joke. Media representation is no better and persistently undervalues and undermines the legitimacy and realities of asexuality. The US hit show Sirens for example follows a character called Voodoo who identifies as asexual. Her asexuality is depicted and explored in the beginning, before the third season leads her and her boyfriend towards the consummation of their relationship. This arguably only fueled the misconception that she ‘hadn’t met the right person yet’ and discredited asexuality completely. In today’s society why is it so hard to believe that some may not desire sex? Take BBC’s Sherlock for example - think about it. One more ‘you just haven’t found the right person yet,’ and I

may snap. Asexuality is presented as a hurdle or as abnormal. It’s alienating to grow up in this quite frankly horny society where asexual identities are stripped down to mere ‘excuses’ or frigidity. This commentary from writers and society as a whole about asexuality is down-right insulting, in the same way most LGBT+ minorities are slapped with the conceptions that they are ‘going through a phase’. Part of the problem is that quite a few people believe we don’t have the ethical right to say no when it comes to sex, it’s a “norm” and it’s too easily abused.

“It’s alienating to grow up in this quite frankly horny society where asexual identies are stripped down to mere excuses or frigidity”

Asexuality is not as advanced in its visibility as other sexualities. It’s seen as abnormal, an excuse, or an insult to people who ‘can’t get laid.’ It is a real orientation with a real number of people discovering it. What we need to do is educate people in and outside of LGBT+ communities about asexuality and normalize the conceptions towards these matters.

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ou don’t need a brain to know that I’m gonna be America’s next top president. I mean, you all saw me smush those lightweights on the Fox the other night. Everyone knows I’m that a great American about to make American great again. So I figured I could do a little clean up job on the side while I wait for them to change to sheets at the White House, because there are a lot of garbage countries in this world that either need picking up or taking out. Most of them stink really bad you see, so boy was I glad to find you guys—a country that already had Great in its name. Anyhow if I’m gonna be the president of crummy England then I figured I gotta do this whole democracy thing first and get elected, so here’s a bunch of kick ass reasons to make me your new president.

“You don’t need a brain to know that I’m gonna be America’s next top president”

For starters I heard that you let all these jihadi types invade this place TalkTalk. That was a pretty stupid thing for you to do but I’m gonna set things right by sending them all straight back to Mexico. I mean first they take our jobs and now they think they can be our internet providers too? No way José, you cheeky little rapist. Aside from that though you done a pretty good job of keeping them off the streets (I couldn’t find any in the Mexican restaurants), but who’s gonna pay for that wall you built to keep em out? Bet your bottom sterling it wont be them. Seconds, if you want the world to take you seriously you gotta stop letting Mr and Mrs Chinese emperor walk all over your palaces and whatnot. Don’t you know those guys are big time commies? The only thing that company are useful for is making all my clothes and them TV screens what come right out at ya. When I run this country I’ll make sure every house has one of those things so then I can be right their in your rooms at night, keeping you all safe from home invasions and ISIS. Third course—get a mouthful of this—actually don’t cos it don’t taste too good: I’ll get rid of all this sugar tax crap. People gotta eat stuff right, so why can’t it taste good? Apparently that costs extra now. I tell you if I find out which lightweight president is ripping you off for this basic human right I’ll drag them to the top of Trump Tower and sleep with their wife. And I won’t even use protection. Unless she’s Mexican.

“I’ll drag them to the top of Trump Tower and sleep with their wife”

Now for desert, this is my game changer. I’d ship that doggy queen of yours down to Florida to drink coffee with Jeb and have that young foxy one on the golden chair instead. That way when she knights me and I’m down on my knees (hubba hubba) I can get myself a peek of upskirt or upcloak or whatever it is you sexy queenies wear. If you Englanders don’t vote me in then you’re even stupider than I thought. I’ll be seeing you all next May and by God if you don’t make me your president, expect one big ass wall to built over the

(Overheard by Jack Dempsey)

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Monday 26 October 2015

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The Courier

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Michael Slater, 4th Year Electrical Engineering meets Sophie Matthews, 3rd Year Geography

Sophie on Michael

Michael on Sophie Where did you go? Lane 7, and then we went to Revs after.

Where did you go? Lane 7 then to Revs, which was really cool because I’ve never been and it was nice to go somewhere a bit di different.

What were your thoughts when she first approached? That she looked very lost, so I knew it was definitely her.

What were your thoughts when Michael first approached? I was quite nervous, but he looked pretty chilled out. He looked quite presentable; he had black jeans and a nice shirt.

Did you have fun? We did, yeah, we were quite drunk. I pre drank a little bit before I went, then we had a few beers at Lane 7 then a few cocktails in Revs, not going to lie I was pretty hungover this morning.

We all appreciate a nice shirt. Yeah, everybody loves a nice shirt. Did you have fun? [Laughs] There’s only really one way to answer it, yeah, it was fun, he’s a nice guy and it’s always good to do something a bit different.

What were some notable conversation topics? We started talking about trips to A&E at one point, I haven’t been much but apparently she has.

Any notable conversation topics? Well we were both on Freshers Crew, so we talked about Sinners ruining everything. Sinners was the topic.

What was the weirdest thing that happened? Well when we got there one of my friends came over, so I said ‘hi’, and then it turned out her and all her friends were in the lane next to us for bowling as well, so we were just awkwardly not talking to each other.

What was the weirdest thing that happened? Oh god, this is so embarrassing! I thought I saw someone that I assumed was him when I came up the Metro escalator, sort of bounded over and introduced myself to this guy who looked really confused… then I realised that it was the wrong person. That kind of startled me before the date had begun.

“I think my parents would approve, she’s not crazy or anything”

How did the date end? I don’t know if I should say! [Laughs] We got a taxi and he walked me back to mine and yeah, said goodbye… had a little goodnight kiss.

Who won at bowling? She won the first game and then I caught up on the second. We were going to do best of 3 but we couldn’t be arsed [laughs]. I did drop a bowling ball but saved myself by getting a half strike straight after.

Who leaned in for the kiss?

“I accidentally bounded up to the wrong person thinking it was him!”

I think you mean a spare. Yeah, one of them.

Well obviously I’m going to say him, for sure! [Laughs]

So how did the date end? We went for the last metro, but then we missed it because Central Station was closed, so we got a taxi back. I walked her home, and then we kissed.

Would your parents approve? I hope so, I hope they would approve of anyone really… not that there was anything to disapprove of in regards to him, he’s nice.

Have you got any future dates planned? Yeah, I think so, we talked about going on another one. We’ll probably go somewhere less expensive this time because I think we both spent about £30, but she paid for the taxi home.

Do you think there will be any future dates? I wouldn’t say it’s o off the cards… maybe.... If Michael was an animal, what would he be? Something fun, but not weird… Something fluffy? Erm…like a happy cat?

Would you take her home to your parents? That’s a bit of a serious question, but yeah I think my parents would approve. She’s not crazy or anything.

On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate the date? 8.5

If Sophie was an animal, what animal would she be? I’d say a sheep, because you can’t say anything bad about a sheep.

“Well we were both on Freshers Crew, so we talked about Sinners ruining everything. Sinners was the topic”

On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate the date? I’d say an 8, it was really good fun. She was good company and easy to talk to.

Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

The Courier

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Monday 26 October 2015

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Uber Hyped?

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here’s no question that Newcastle’s nightlife runs on not only trebles, but also taxis. Winter is coming and that North Easterly wind is much better felt on the inside of your silver Skoda. UBER taxis appear to be one of the most convenient and safest ways to travel, but this does depend on a number of things. The average taxi fare in the North East is one of the cheapest across the country, so while UBER may be a cheaper option elsewhere, they are not necessarily in Newcastle.

“What Uber forgets to mention is that the base fare they offer increases at their busiest times � Despite priding themselves on offering cheaper transportation, what UBER forgets to mention is that the base fare they offer increases at their busiest times, so while your taxi journey at 1pm may knock a few pounds off your expectations, don’t get tricked into thinking your journey into town at 11pm on a Friday night will make you equally pleased. The concept of pre-inserting your credit or debit card details, which prevents you from having to faff about for change on arrival does make UBER seem more appealing than a normal taxi, particularly whilst under the influence, but BlueLine and Budget taxis can also do this. The GPS tracking system on the UBER app is something that not only makes it safer, but also more convenient. Rather than waiting around outside your house for the taxi to arrive, you are able to see exactly how far away the taxi is, meaning neither you nor the taxi drive has to wait for the other. The driver profile and rating system adds an element of safety that other taxi companies don’t have, maybe benefitting those who wish to travel alone at night, however if UBER wanted to perfect their safety they should allow someone else to track your taxi journey from elsewhere!

“The driver profile and rating system adds an element of safety that other taxi companies don’t have� As much as this tracking may benefit those alone, it does not necessarily make a difference to those travelling in larger groups, who may as well use a local taxi company instead. Similar to UBER local taxi companies tend to send you a text prior to their arrival telling you what their car looks like and their registration number, so essentially the only thing extra you get with UBER is a photograph. There is a greater sense of convenience and safety that comes with UBER taxis here in the north, but this comes with a marginally extra cost. Although you should always be aware of stranger danger, northerners are known for their friendliness, and especially in big groups you may as well save that couple of pounds!

1. One treble, two trebles, three trebles, floor. Newcastle has arguably (definitely) the

best nightlife in the UK and you simply can’t talk about a night on the toon without mentioning our beloved trebles. Whether you’re chilling with the Geordie Shore cast in Bijoux, taking on Sam Jack’s infamous rodeo bull or gracing Sinners’ classy cage, who doesn’t love juggling 3 trebles for a measly £5?

2. Get home safe, pet

As cheap as the chips found on Big Market at 3am, Newcastle’s taxis are a godsend. Forget all this dodgy and snobby Uber business, all you need is the trusty Blueline app to be picked up from your door before you’ve even had time to lace up your New Balances and I guarantee you’ll get to your destination for a third of the price. Not only are the toon’s taxis cheaper than anywhere else in the country, you can get anywhere pretty fast, and most importantly Geordies make for the friendliest taxi drivers in the world! It’s like being dropped off by a caring relative; always wishing you a good night but reminding you to make sure you get home safely. So cute!

“Francesca’s has banished the genuine dilemma of choosing between pizza and pasta� 3. The Quayside

The Quayside is iconic to Newcastle. Glossy pictures of the river and the countless number of bridges are what are smeared all over Newcastle Uni prospectuses, google image results for ‘Newcastle upon Tyne’ and in fact anything related to the North East. It’s the ultimate couples’ hotspot or parent zone, evidently depending on whether you’re a loved up duo or a groovy singleton. Basically it’s the place to take your visitors to show them Newcastle isn’t just about folks staggering around the city wearing not much more than bunny ears far too early on a Saturday afternoon. Take them round the Baltic to show off the city’s art culture, a lazy Sunday stroll around the market or enjoy dinner and drinks with a river view at Pitcher and Piano.

Feed Me!

4. Your dad works for my dad

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of healthy competition, right? With Northumbria and Newcastle within such close proximity of each other, the poly v posh rivalry was always going to be inevitable. Learn some horrendously rude but great chants at the Clash of the Titans rugby match or the Stan Calvert Cup. But whether we win or not don’t we all just love the smugness of knowing that we’re the smartest kids on the block.

5. Is NE2 the new SW3?

It has been heard on the grapevine that Jesmond is Newcastle’s very own mini Chelsea. Well, there are certainly enough southerners swanning between Waitrose and Jam Jar to lead you to believe that you are in Chelsea rather than Newcastle’s upmarket corner that is Jesmond. Breakfast at Arlo’s whips The Bluebird Chelsea out of the ball park any day of the week and Francesca’s has banished the genuine dilemma of choosing between pizza and pasta with their half and half menu. Their price to taste ratio is off the scale and the authenticity of the place leaves you feeling refreshed as if you’ve just landed off a mini European city break. We can’t mention Jesmond without slipping in the ever popular Osbourne Road bars. They are perfect for when you want to go out but not out out and still be in bed by a reasonable time now you’re a granny-turned second year, third year or dare I say fourth year. And of course Jesmond Dene is perfect for Sunday walk fun.

6. I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar

Gay or not, Newcastle’s gay scene is loads of fun. The city is increasingly attracting more and more people from across the country from the LGBT society. Newcastle’s vibrant gay scene is concentrated around the Life Centre with the likes of Rusty’s, Powerhouse, Switch and The Loft and is known as the Pink Triangle.

7. Cake all day every day

Who doesn’t love cake? Everybody loves cake. Chocolate cake, carrot cake, scones, brownies we all love cake no matter what tickles your fondant fancy. Something that we love almost as much as we love cake, is instagramming our coffee that we drink alongside, making us look cultured but not greedy (crucial in maintaining our cool Instagram image). Newcastle has a cracking cafÊ culture; by

>#/$?$@(11 Who doesn’t want a good dollop of military style discipline with their lunch? It may seem cheap until you realise you’ve just paid 99p for some bread covered in mayonnaise. Enjoy.

e g r u l p S

Katie Ackerley tells us where you can crush those lunchtime cravings, whatever your budget

this I mean a 100% instagrammable. Get yourself to Quilliam Brothers and you’ll know exactly what I mean. This quirky hideout opposite the Robbo has over 60 types of tea, delicious sweet treats, it’s very own cinema room and a selection of board games. Or devour your weekly calorie allowance in one of The Great British Cupcakery’s insane milkshakes, they’re totally worth it. If you’re one of those ‘die-alone-with-7-cats’ kind of people then get yourself down to one of Newcastle’s very own cat cafes e.g. Mog on the Tyne (the inventiveness of that name alone merits a visit.)

“Who doesn’t love cake? Everybody loves cake� 8. Oh I do like to be beside the seaside

Although I’m not advocating you taking a dip in the sea, as I don’t want to be responsible for any hypothermia incidents, it’s great to be able to escape to some beautiful coastlines when city life just gets a bit much. Newcastle boasts some of the most stunning coastal towns in the country with the likes of Bamburgh, Seahouses, Tynemouth and Cullercoats. Hats off to anyone who is brave enough to go surfing. However, for those who prefer to eat rather than exercise (that’s everyone) Tynemouth has hands down the best fish and chips and be sure to follow it up by Newcastle’s finest Mark Toney ice cream.

9. For the intrepid explorers

For all those incessant adventurers who can’t help but spend their weekends exploring and bettering themselves with culture and art and history, Newcastle is great for being not far from Durham. You have access to all the benefits of the quaint city centre without boring yourself and promoting premature ageing by actually having to live there.

10. UNAAYY

And finally you can have this buzzing social life in a crazy city with the confidence that you are actually going to a decent Russel Group university. So when the time finally comes for you to settle down and face responsibilities you can feel rest assured that you won’t be working for a Northumbrian.

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%#E#/"1/# If you’re feeling a whole fiver’s worth of fancy then head down to Zapatista for the most food you can reasonably be expected to eat without cutlery.

The boots meal deal is a staple of 21st century society. It’s also the only time I can afford kettle chips AND an innocent smoothie. Life is good.

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or me, Halloween is in the same bracket as the Superbowl. Firstly, I don’t give a shit about it. Secondly, I don’t give a shit about whether you give a shit about it. I have no interest in it or affiliation to it, so stop going on about it. Halloween enthusiasts are like vegans; they can’t get through a conversation without bringing it up. ‘What are you doing for Halloween?’ ‘Are you dressing up for the Halloween night out?’ ‘Meat is murder!’ I despair. Do they even know what Halloween is? No, of course they don’t. Allow me to elaborate.

“Showing any more than a passing interest suggests a morbidity that goes beyond a splashing of fake blood and a perchance for wearing false gnashers”

Halloween, or ‘All Hallows’ Eve’, signals the start of the three-day observance of ‘Allhallowtide’, the time in the liturgical calendar dedicated to remembering the dead. Seriously. That’s it. If you think about it, showing anything more than a passing interest (yes I’m talking to you, ‘favourite holiday of the year’ people) suggests a morbidity that goes beyond a splashing of fake blood and a perchance for wearing false gnashers. It means nothing. Any reasonable person cannot possibly care that much about a night that is a completely redundant use of the word ‘celebration’. It is surely a night that actually holds little significance to anyone. Well, anybody apart from the businesses whose profits are practically doubled thanks to panicked social climbers scampering around at the last minute and spending £50 on a Mario and Luigi costume, a pathetic attempt at the latest craze of ‘twinning’ with your best friend. Everyone thinks that the girls have it a little easier, that they can play their customary Halloween role witho ut spending a penny for the privilege. Just draw on some fake whiskers and they’re good to go. However, for a girl to try and find a costume either online or in store that doesn’t have the word ‘sexy’ or ‘naughty’ in front of it is nigh on impossible. I had no idea that cats were heralded as such erotic creatures. Personally, I’ve never really understood the sexualisation of felines as far as females and fancy dress is concerned. I’m no prude, but as far

“As appealing as ‘Janine’s Spooky Halloween’ Pres sounds, I won’t be making an appearance” as I’m concerned, nobody wants to shag a cat. Of course, the constant Instagram posts of poorly carved pumpkins drive me nuts, but it’s not just the student hype and blatant desire for any occasion to cling onto socially, however tenuous, that frustrates me. What really gets me is that nonparticipation in Halloween is impossible. I can’t go into Sainsbury’s without being met with a face full of hanging, paper spiders or orange bunting. I can’t even pick up a standard Mr Kipling Apple Pie. Everything instore has been given a shameless, Halloween spin. The ‘Fiendish Fancies’ and ‘Chocolate Slime Slices’ sound positively bile-inducing. It wouldn’t surprise me to see a pumpkin flavoured condom hit the shelves this year, not that our friends Mario and Luigi would have any cause to use them. I honestly couldn’t care less if you love Halloween. By all means, go and have a great night. Just leave me, and every other ‘Halloskeptic’, out of it. As appealing as ‘Janine’s Spooky Halloween Pres’ sounds, I won’t be making an appearance. Happy Halloween!

Monday 26th October 2015

The Courier

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s I made the four-and-a-half-hour long journey to Newcastle I was excited to start my first year at university. With my hands full of luggage, I made my way up all 3 flights of stairs, anticipating meeting my new flatmates for the first time. I was not nervous, but there is always that thought in the back of one’s head wondering if the people I was going to be living with for the next year were going to be flatmates from hell. A thought that I imagine crosses most people’s minds.

“The majority of flats have the odd Frankenstein in residence”

Having asked around, I have discovered that the majority of flats have the odd Frankenstein in residence. One thing I cannot bear, along with many others, is food thieves. These Hobnob stealing Hobgoblins have got their art down to a T. When you leave something in the fridge and even write

you name on it, it mysteriously goes missing. The person who takes it is deluded enough to think you wouldn’t mind if they ate your food, even if you are friends. It is not okay. You know it isn’t your food, so why do you take it? Buy your own food or ask.

“The amount of hair from God knows where that accumulates in the plughole makes me question if I am living with a pack of werewolves”

I think most of us can think of a culprit who ‘borrows’ you plates or cutlery, and you, being the angel that you are, lets them. These demons eat and leave your dirty dishes by the side of the sink without washing up expecting someone else to wash them, and as a few OCD prone people who like clean dishes will wash them themselves, therefore

leaving the devil to get away with it. Pull your own weight. A definite don’t while sharing a flat is to cook foul smelling foods such as fish frequently without putting on the fan or opening the window, therefore stinking out the whole flat, making you think someone has died. Hygiene is also a big deal when living together. Especially in communal areas. The amount of hair from God knows where that accumulates in the plughole makes me question if I am living with a pack of werewolves.

“He constantly has a number of middle-aged people in his room leading the others to come to the conclusion that he is in a cult”

Moreover, when some cannot handle their drink and find the humour of urinating in the kitchen sink amusing, despite having an ensuite is just wicked. But it isn’t only boys who do disgusting things; when a woman has her own week from hell, and leaves used tampon applicators at the side of the toilet, instead of doing the humane thing of taking them and putting them in the bin, is revolting. Where is your common decency woman? Golden Rules of being the best flatmate ever: 1) Wash your dirty dishes- especially if you have had porridge this morning. No one knows the horror of day-old oats and milk like the seething flatmate that gets stuck with your washing up. 2) Buying toilet roll- our Whatsapp group chat generally only consisted of ordering people to deliver toilet roll in a number two emergency. 3)Buying milk- the uni crime scene looks something like this: A mug of black tea. Once the milk is gone there is anarchy in the kitchen in the morning. Be the real MVP and be the provider of the house once in a while.

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ig Names on Campus. Love them or hate them, you know them through their tactical ways of persuasion, flirtation or pure godly genetics. You probably haven’t met them, or seen them, but from what you hear, they have a lifestyle of ease, elegance and eminence. They don’t spend money on nights out - rounds

“You know them through their tactical ways of persuasion or pure godly genetics” are presented on the hour and bouncers slip them a quick handshake with a nod to the lucky date. Education is something on the side; university is a haven for social status and sports teams. And as for friends? There’s a squad, or disciples who follow in the footsteps of their leader, but all completely irrelevant. A BNOC can pick and drop whomever they want and no offence will ever be taken. If you’re reading this thinking challenge accepted – follow these simple steps. Although, it probably won’t get you anywhere, as a real BNOC will never reveal their secret. 1. Run for SU president. And win. If SU president

fails, run for any society president to make the SU president know you. 2. Join a sports team. And we’re not talking virtual football team here. If you have the stamina of Mo Farah or the attitude of Serena Williams, it’s a guaranteed honour to all teammates who serve you. 3. Become a borderline alcoholic. Yes, this means going out 6 nights a week with Sunday as a day to eat and other godly things. 4. Look like a celebrity. If you don’t look like at

“If you don’t look like at least one half of Brangelina on a good day on a good day, how do you expect people to know you?”

least one half of Brangelina on a good day, how do you expect people to notice you? 5. Throw a project X party and make sure everyone knows it’s your project X party. If it doesn’t get shut down by the police, it was a waste of your time and money. 6. Learn how to mould tracks into 1 with a DJ

set. Chicks dig the DJ’s and you’re automatically invited to most house parties that matter. 7. If all else fails, sleep with everyone. May be you’re famous for the wrong reasons, but we do know you. However, actually if you have any sense, a BNOC has very little perks, and it’s more than likely that although people want to be you, they actually kind of despise you in every way possible. But, for those who want to give it a go, I hope this makes everyone wear army pants and flip flops, just because you wore army pants and flip flops.

The Courier

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Monday 26th October 2015

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ancy throwing a Halloween party that will be talked about for months afterwards? Follow this step-by-step guide to wreak some Halloween havoc! Destination: Firstly you need to think about where you want to host your party. Having a house party is always good fun but it does come with consequences. Firstly, the mess, and secondly, if you don’t have locks on your doors there is always the possibility of guests wandering in and out of your room (or crawling/passed out depending on the stage of the night). Alternatively a large barn would be a good location or a nightclub with an alternative ambiance; anywhere that would suit the Halloween mood. Guest List: Who do you want at your party? It might be fun to create some spooky invitations to give to your guests as a pre-cursor of the horrors which will await them at your party. Decoration: Once you’ve chosen your location, you need to start thinking how to dress up the place. If you know the right places to look you can find some really groovy Halloween decorations, or alternatively you can make them yourselves. Some ideas for decorations could be: t"WPJEJOH VTJOH OPSNBM MJHIUJOH HP GPS SFE BOE green light bulbs/ lanterns or candle lights to create a spooky effect t$BSWJOH TPNF TDBSZ GBDFT PO QVNQLJOT BOE scattering them everywhere; putting candle lights in these and using them as your only source of light draws attention to the macabre faces and creates the perfect scary effect t$SFBUJOH B HSBWFZBSE PVUTJEF XJUI GBLF HSBWF stones and bones or limbs stretching out of the ground to make them look like dead bodies. t%SBQJOH DPCXFCT XJUI QMBTUJD TQJEFST PS SFBM spiders if you’re mean enough) from the walls to entangle your guests t&WFSZ )BMMPXFFO QBSUZ OFFET B EFBE CPEZ PS two; get yourself some fake skeletons to dress up in scary attire and hide them throughout the room(s)

to give your guests a fright. Definitely not one for the faint of heart, but hilarious all the same. t#VZ PS NBLF TPNF QBQFS CBOOFST JO UIF TIBQFT of Halloween figures, for example bats or pumpkins to give every room a Halloween feel. They could also be used for a game of limbo, should you be drunk enough, which of course you will be. $PTUVNF 4P JU T :063 QBSUZ ZPV OFFE UP MPPL the best. Try to be as creative as possible when choosing what you want to dress up as. Some people like to go for the scary look whereas others adopt the American tradition where you can dress up as anything, for example angels or animals. For the girls, you don’t have to be dressed up in a frumpy witch costume that banishes all your curves, shops such as Ann Summers do some sexy Halloween costumes, as well as interesting accessories, ladies. Music: Your choice of music needs to create a spooky feel that will give your guests goose bumps. :PV MM ĕ OE MPUT PG $% T UP QMBZ PO )BMMPXFFO PO websites such as Amazon, but you could also use some more modern music which gives an alternative scary feel, for example the song ‘Waking the Witch’ by Kate Bush. And let’s not forget classics like ‘Thriller’ by MJ, always guaranteed a good reception. Drink: The drinks which you choose to have at your party are crucial, because ultimately you want everyone to be bordering on paralytic. Whether you choose to make your drinks or buy them, choose drinks that are colours relating to Halloween; red, green, black or blue. Also, drop some plastic eyeballs into large fishbowls of alcohol and stick fake blood to the outside of the bowls to continue the Halloween feel, whilst getting some scary drinking cups for your guests to use. Now you know exactly what to do in order to create the ultimate Halloween party, you can prepare to give you and your guests a hair-raising Halloween! Good luck and give ‘em hell!

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The Biscuit Factory

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he Biscuit Factory is located in a former warehouse, which has since been turned into a restaurant and arts and crafts gallery (the largest in the UK, in fact!) The restaurant is kept separate from the gallery but is still very arty, with quirky mirrors and a spacious modern design. As a student I’d say this restaurant is perhaps more appropriate for a special occasion, seeing as it’s leaning towards the slightly-more-pricey end of the spectrum. However, the price is justified by the quality and the quantity of the food (plus students get 10% off ). If you were to have the roast alone you would pay £11.95. I have paid this price for a roast dinner at many restaurants in Newcastle, but I have to say this is the best one I’ve had. My boyfriend and I both went for the roast beef. We were given thick slices and it was melt-in-the-mouth. The carrots were roasted and slightly caramelised, we were given loads of roast potatoes and, most importantly, it was topped off by a massive Yorkshire pudding. If you’re tempted by desert you’d be looking at paying £15.95 for two courses. My boyfriend and I shared the sticky toffee pudding, which is making my mouth water now just thinking about it. It came drenched in hot toffee sauce with a generous scoop of vanilla ice-cream. I have to say the starters didn’t grab me as they sounded too darn fancy (what is quince jam!?) and might be for the more adventurous, but it would cost £18.95 for the three courses.

“We shared the sticky toffee pudding, which is making my mouth water now just thinking about it�

I would give the service 15/10; the staff were very attentive, approachable and friendly. They were happy for us to sit outside with a drink until our food was ready, at which point they came to fetch us to take us to our table. Nothing seemed like too much hassle for them and we felt very welcome and extremely well looked after. The Biscuit Factory’s roast has been rated to be among the top 25 roasts in the country. I’d agree with this as it would be hard to beat it! If, like me, you miss your mum’s roast on a Sunday, I’d give it a try. It’s a comforting home-from-home.

Byron Burger

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rand new and opposite monument, Byron Burger is the perfect place for a quick shopping lunch. Welcoming staff and the pleasant atmosphere made for a great first impression. The interior is very 90s diner, with booths situated next to the window- perfect for people watching. Some of the tables are slightly too close together, though the restaurant is very large and you are unlikely to be seated next to someone. The food came promptly, and when it did, it did not disappoint. The B-Rex burger was large, although £10.50 may have been a bit steep compared to competitors. they were sparse on the sauce, but the streaky bacon could not have been better. The 6oz burger was still pink in the middle, just how i had requested it. As the burger was very heavy i recommend having a side to mix it up otherwise the burger’s taste becomes to empowering. If you would like something different and unique to Byron burger, there is the courgette fries. The Sweet potato fries, were large enough to share between two-unless you are very hungry/or a lad. Mayonnaise is provided on request. There are vegetarian alternatives of 4 sal-

ads, and 2 burgers (mushroom and bean), providing a variety. Drinks are double the price of what they should be, with a glass of coke standing at ÂŁ2.40, but a pleasant collection of beer and pale ales. Tap water comes iced with lemon in a large sharing jug.

“The interior is very 90s diner, with booths situated next to the window - perfect for people watching� The food was nice, but overpriced so if you’re on a budget be aware that the burger with all the addons may become pricey, maybe take your parents there next time they come to visit so they can foot the bill. Alternatively, sign up to their mailing list and receive updates about offers. Last Tuesday they were offering 25p burgers in order to promote their new charity push ‘One feeds two’, with every special hamburger bought, Byron buys a 25p school meal for a child living in some of the poorest places in the world, in order to boost school attendance.

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The Courier

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emale friendships have a habit of developing a telepathic, sixth sense connection over time. As girlfriends, we know whether to order the other an extra glass of wine or not (always the former), exactly when to exmploy our wingwoman duties, and synchronise those death stares perfectly – so is it any surprise that our style begins to do the same? A habit we would have once kicked sees the unintentional convergence of dressing, presenting itself amongst a new crop of lady friends. It isn’t about a Single White Female total conversion into recreating your girl’s physical identity, nor a Pink Ladies group praxis; but simply ‘twinning’ in a subconscious synchronization. Where complementary colour palettes and congruent patterns immerse on a shopping trip or lunch date, begin to create an almost editorial-looking fashion fluke. A once frowned upon idea of dressing the same as your best friend, would have led to several cringe worthy moments and frantic changes, is now an it-girl motion headlining all friendship goals. This vogue of comparable aesthetics is spreading rapidly through a handful of bloggers and A list duos, who are combining looks to create an effortless girl band chic. Fashion blogger Zanita Whittington was snapped on numerous occasions at Australian Fashion Week dressed in parallels to her BFFL Jessica Stein. Whittington was quoted saying, ‘The more time we spent together, the more our styles blended’. Celebs from across the industry have further portrayed this idea, with music-making duo Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss pictured at a basketball game wearing matching black and denim colour schemes, as well as catwalk-storming Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss both attendding a red carpet event shining in silver flapper-style frocks and finally, triple-threat Cara Delevingne, Rihanna and Georgia May Jagger, flaunting their friendship in matching primary brights and show off stripes.

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‘‘As the saying goes, keep your best friends close; in this case make sure to keep your best dressed ones closer’ The Olsen twins’ consistent colour blending and boho vibes could lead you to believe they are prewired for analogous dressing; but this double imaging has us looking twice at their recognizable statement exterior, which is always Instagram ready. This exhibition of matchymatchy is recieving a trendy makeover, producing significant statements that have the power to take on fashion weeks - I guess anything is possible with your best friend at your side! This sartorial osmosis is far from new to the fashion world, it’s simply a current craze that I believe should have caught on a long time ago… The likes of mega girl groups such as Destiny’s Child, Girls Aloud and the Spice Girls have been enforcing this movement for the past decade. Much like the significance behind friendship bracelets, connecting your style with your friends amplifies your identities, demonstrating strength and rigor to any passerby and indicating that you are a force to be reckoned with. This truly is a girl power movement in the making, an identi-fashion to take on pop culture. As the saying goes, keep your best friends close; in this case make sure to keep your best dressed ones closer.

Instagram: @ peaceloveshea

Instagram: @kimkardashian Instagram: @young.and.fandom et to your panic stations everybody, Hal- even try passing of the ever intensifying heat rash loween is nearly upon us. The race has be- crawling down your arm as ‘part of the look’. Nogun to clamor for that last pair of Claire’s body’s falling for it. When November 1st arrives, a cat ears and the knives are out (for pumpkin mere pinch and punch are the least of your worries, carving… nobody is that desperate for cat ears). your backcombed hair has mattified overnight and But why is it that year upon year we don some hide- that cheap fake blood has left a permanent stain on ous polyester costume and sweat it out on Tup Tup’s your neck. And that’s before your bank statement dance floor? Is it time to lay down our plastic props arrives, along with the realisation that for the cost and put Halloween where Father Christmas and of one night out you could’ve got yourself a couple the Tooth Fairy disappeared to long ago? of month’s gym membership, or, more realistically, The culmination of months of prep and papier ten subways. From what you remember of the maché all seems worth it when you’re parading night it was too cold in the queue and too hot in your pumpkin costume down Northumberland the club, in fact that greasy pizza in the cab on the Street, but two trebles in and the novelty’s worn off. way home was probably the highlight. Realistically, you’re stood at the bar, with a circumSo is this the beginning of the end for Halloween ference of 2 meters of bright orange around you; antics? Kate Hudson certainly doesn’t think so; no the chances of getting close to that hot guy who’s doubt she’ll be planning her annual party with as giving you the eye are running slim…you are liter- much fervor as every other year. Her A list guests ally forced to stand a meter away from him at all last October included Katy Perry and Jessica Alba, times. who, lets be real, probably had personal stylists And even if you’re externally keeping your cool, pick out their thousand dollar costumes. inside you will undoubtedly be burning up. Don’t But then again, if we were living it up in LA, we’d

Instagram: @s4tb probably be able to feign more enthusiasm too, the sticky floors of Sinners just don’t compare. And that’s just the problem. As hard as you try and as original as your costume is, when you’re in the middle of the club surrounded by LA wannabe girls in LBDs and ‘scary’ red lipstick, a sinking feeling starts to descend on your stomach.

“Is it time to lay down our plastic props and put Halloween where Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy disappeared to long ago?” To quote the wise film Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging: “you looked soo funny in that Olive costume!” So maybe its time to let it go and drag out your trusty trainers and jeans - I mean what’s more scary than a student that doesn’t feel the need to follow the crowd?!

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dvertisements are the mediums which have the ability to influence all of us, and our daily fashion choices. It is also fair to say that these mediums shape the world’s fashion industry. A major observation of the fashion world is the fact that western models are frequently favoured, and as such, our ideal standard of beauty is framed around ambassadors like Cara Delevingne, Miranda Kerr, Jourdan Dunn and Naomi Campbell. Recently however, more and more Orient faces can be identified within the image driven industry that is fashion - on the runway, in ad campaigns and in fashion shows for major designer and highstreet brands like Louis Vuitton, H&M and Victoria’s Secret. Sadly, it is unlikely the names of these models would first spring to mind when considering which women form the forefront of high fashion in 2015. I unashamedly love fashion and appreciate that the fashion world can bring so much for everyone, yet it is continually the case that western models dominate the fashion industry whilst other ethnic backgrounds take a step back. Indeed, being an ethnic minority model can make it very hard to progress in today’s mainstream fashion industry. This can be seen as part of a larger problem, where western mass media perpetually promotes unequal representation through the discourse of the ‘token Asian’, in order to bypass accusations of discrimi-

nation. This can be witnessed through the percentage of Orient models at events such as this year’s New York fashion week, which was lower than 10%. Even worse, it wasn’t until September 2011 that Vogue China actually featured Chinese models on their front page, which has held its space on China’s newsstands since 2005. The fashion industry, like any industry, must persistently be criticised: it can always do more for minorities. From fashion editors, designers and casting directors for the shows, this industry has the power to shape the discourse of image obsession and the fetishisation of western beauty vs race.

“Discrimination is a symptom of ignorance, and the marginalization of any group within society is unforgivable”

As a member of such an underrepresented group of people I feel frustrated when both my passion for fashion and appreciation of equality seem so difficult to catch under the same umbrella. Seemingly, this feeling of mine is not isolated. Many other members of different ethnic minorities repeatedly voice the same frustration. Stepping into the fashion world and being highly exposed to the intensive media spotlight which surrounds them, ethnic minority models persis-

tently receive criticism and suffer many disadvantages. It is clear that this model of exclusion vs inclusion doesn’t deter ambitious Orient models, as thousands still aspire to become high fashion models. This is crucial in working towards change. With regards to racial equality, I clearly am all for inclusion. Discrimination is a symptom of ignorance, and the marginalization of any group within a society is unforgivable, whether pre-meditated or not. At the end of the day, fashion businesses want to appeal to a bigger and increasingly global market, and if you’re marketing a world multinational brand why not start by reflecting the world’s diversity? I think fashion designers should strive to create fashion for everyone as their basic job requirement is to be creative. This should act as a challenge to the world’s biggest designers to explore the beauty of diversity and make the fashion world more inclusive.

Instagram: @mingxi11

@hesui923

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Monday 26 October 2015

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“Women supporting women was a central theme”

“I see that focused vision being more about nourishment, sisterhood/motherhood and regeneration,” Owens’ said, noting that “women supporting women,” was a

Instagram: @luxuryisthenewflyy

central theme. He went on to say that “Straps can be about restraint, but here they are all about support and cradling, straps here become loving ribbons.” Questions have been raised however as to whether this Zoolander-esque display was an artistic performance with an inherent feminist message or whether the fashion world has gone too far; and the focus is no longer on collections but on designers trying to ‘oneup’ each other in controversial displays. Removing the true essence of the show: the clothing. The media furore has however made Owens one of the most talked about designers of the season and has won the praise of many fashion industry peers. Owens’ apocalyptic, industrial style is now not only receiving attention from the fashion world but his shocking shows have allowed him to branch into the mainstream media boosting the attention he is receiving for his extraordinary concept. With the dust still settling from Owens’ controversial hurricane, the wait begins to see which designer will push even further to out-do his outlandish spectacle. Instagram: @dynamichorror

Instagram: @rickowensonline

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he backpack has quickly become a must have item popular both on the high street and on the catwalk. Many designers have formed their own take on the accessory, adding a personal touch; Givenchy added their recognisable graphics, Calvin Klein stayed minimal and structured. But, not one to be outshone, Rick Owens’ take on the classic has caused quite stir in the fashion world after he showcased his own line of ‘backpacks’ during Paris fashion week. The famously controversial haute-couture designer sent his models onto the runway in a true to style asymmetrical sheer dress while also sporting a human backpack. Models carried one another down the runway harnessed onto each other’s shoulders and waist using thick straps and harnesses. Owens’ only casted gymnasts for the display as they have the necessary strength to literally carry off this season’s apparent must-have accessory. Owens’ is no stranger to causing controversy with his eccentric and often seemingly absurd style, and this certainly isn’t the first time that the human anatomy has played a prominent part in his shows. He famously applied a strict ‘no underwear’ policy to his male models during a show earlier this year in which the models wore sheer tunics with the hem finishing at the hip, leaving nothing to the imagination. The idea of the human backpack was meant to reflect a ‘singular focus of a mythical creature from a female perspective’.

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ontroversy has emerged surrounding the media and the way female public figures are being ‘shamed’ for the shape of their bodies, with notorious public figures of the fashion world such as Cheryl Fernandez-Versini, Alexa Chung and Gigi Hadid all being slammed by twitter trolls and social media for not ‘conforming’ to social expectations. I ask myself however, in a time of celebrating femininity, with the likes of Emma Watson speaking up for gender equality on behalf of the UN and campaigns like Nike’s ‘This Girl Can’, how the world still finds it acceptable to label someone according to the size of their waist? Surely we live in a day and age in which the female body, or any body – no matter what shape or size should be celebrated? This bitchiness and the public degradation of women needs to be long abandoned and replaced with a celebration for who they are, not dependent on whether they are a size 6,16 or 24. Cheryl Fernandez-Versini recently spoke out against the recent body shaming which affected her personally.The singer and X factor judge recently responded with a new instagram bio reading;“If you’re a negative person, swerve. You have no place on my page.” Cheryl argued that defining someone by their body shape or calling them out for being too ‘fat’ or ‘skinny’ should be a criminal offence. Despite her suggestion’s lack of realistic application, I am inclined to agree. After all, it is a criminal offence to discriminate against a person depending on their skin colour, sexuality or gender- so why is it still acceptable to put someone in a box and characterise someone for the shape of their bod?

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What sort of image do we present to the next generation of young girls, if the only thing we can pinpoint when we watch Cheryl on a Saturday night, or see Alexa on the front row at London Fashion Week is their aesthetic features, rather than their multitude of talents? Chung and Hadid also recently addressed the issue of body shaming in media giant Vogue, speaking out against those who labelled them as too ‘scrawny’ or, juxtaposing that, too ‘voluptuous’ for major fashion houses.

‘‘Surely we live in a day and age in which the female body, or any body – no matter what shape or size - should be celebrated?’’

Gabrielė Regesaitė

Callum O’Connell

Course: Combined Honours Stage: 1 Hometown: Klaipeda “Today I’m wearing a black suede skirt, which was hand made by my sister. My boots are from Vagabond and both my bag and jumper are from Zara. I choose whatever makes me feel the most comfortable really: jeans, shirts and sweaters make up most of my wardrobe. I do like skirts a lot though, however the key for me is to ultimately dress functionally and make sure I keep myself warm.”

Course: Marine Biology Stage: 3 Hometown: South Essex “I literally wear whatever isn’t dirty, so I’ll just throw on whatever that I find in my cupboard. I just stick it altogether and see what it looks like to be honest. My outfit is mostly from charity shops; the shirt was only £2 from the British Heart Foundation and the jacket is from St Oswald’s Hospice, I got it for about £7. I borrowed the bag off my mate. My boots were a bit pricier though because they’re Timberland.”

Got Spotted: Student’s Union

Got Spotted: Student’s Union

Nikki Osborne

Regen Gregg

Course: Biomedical Science Stage: 3 Hometown: Northern Ireland “I’d say I get my style inspiration from Cara Delevigne, Alexa Chung and the Olsen twins. I’m really interested in Alexa’s make-up and I completely love her sense of style and her clothes. My jeans are just from Topshop and my trainers are from Reebok. I bought my bag when I visited New York, and my jumper is an old classic from Urban Outfitters. I usually go casual and comfortable, and stick to muted colours. ”

Course: Architecture Stage: 2 Hometown: Huddersfield “I prefer to make up my own style depending on what I’m feeling that day. I don’t really follow fashion advice on Instagram or anything, I prefer to go it alone. My shoes are from H&M, my jacket is from Vintage Dunn & Co, I think the jumper is ASOS and underneath my top is from Zara Man. My jeans are classics from Levi. The hair look I’ve gone for today is hangover hair, just blow dry it up and put some wax on it!”

Got Spotted: Outside the Gym

Got Spotted: Old Library Lane

The models defended themselves - arguing that they are proud of who they are and what they look like, whilst still emphasising that they don’t want to place themselves on a pedestal for young people to idealise them, based solely on their appearance. They are who they are, and have chosen to embrace it. Influential female figures like Florence Nightingale and Maya Angelou all achieved great feats and are recognised for their significance, regardless of their body image. Why then, should the successful, unique, women we come across in every day life be subjected to such scrutiny? It is time that women adopt an attitude of sisterhood, and stop trying to create an ideal in which women feel obliged to adapt to fit in to a certain box. Whether it’s being ‘thin-shamed’ like Cheryl or ‘fat-shamed’ like Serena Williams (one of the 21st centuries most iconic sportswomen) perhaps what it will take for this confidence crushing bitchiness to stop now is for the Government to enforce some sort of legal sanction against this slander. Failing this, maybe it’s time the media took a stand and adopted a more positive stance when addressing physical appearance, be it male or female, in order to promote a more body positive message, and stop this vile past time once and for all.

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The Courier

Clothing by Topshop Eldon Square Photography: Fiona Leishman & Fay Jiang Make-up: Mayowa Akeredolu Models: Amr Alkhaznadar, Ellie Trent, Max Fosh & Rebecca Jackson

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The Courier

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rom bloggers to celebs, beauty Instagram accounts are often great sources of makeup inspirations and are always worth following if you’re after some beauty goodness. They may be selfie-central but it’s also a fab way to nab yourself some useful makeup tips for free. For those beauty junkies who are looking for a bold yet natural look for the upcoming winter, Zendaya’s stupidly gorgeous look is really worth stealing beauty tips from. The 19-year-old Disney star played an assassin called ‘Cut Throat’ in Taylor Swift’s ‘Bad Blood’ video and is a unique beauty and always looks illuminatingly radiant, even with minimal makeup and styling. Recently, she has instagramed her most glam makeup look and she’s definitely killing it.

“It’s the metallic bronze that gives this edgy classic an instant and glowy update” I am more than a little bit obsessed with her incredible post—featuring the slightly shimmery eyes and matte mauve lips made for a perfect makeup combo, deeply contoured cheekbones and her amazing bold brows completed the look. Her hair was pulled up into an elegant bun and paired with perfect skin, which would have absolutely slayed the red carpet.

Instagram: @kiehlsnyc

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he secret to long-lasting makeup is a good base. Exfoliated and well-moisturized skin not only allows make up to go on smoothly but also lessens the chances of it separating or caking throughout the day. Kielh’s Ultra Facial moisturiser is lightweight and like most foundations nowadays is water based so it’s likely to hold whatever you layer over it well.

“Aim to keep makeup light and fresh throughout the day. Not only will this save you time later by already giving you a fresh canvas to work with in the evening, but it also lets your skin breathe before a night out”

Whilst I don’t think primers are essential, they do generally provide makeup with greater staying power. They can also double up as a moisturizer too so in the long run can save you a bit of money! Laura Mercier has an excellent range of primers for

Instagram: @beneficosmetics

Instagram: @revlon

all skin types that are really light on the skin. Aim to keep makeup light and fresh throughout the day. Not only will this save you time later by already giving you a fresh canvas to work with in the evening, but it also lets your skin breathe before a night out. When it comes to foundation, there are now heaps out there promising 24-hour wear. Revlon Colorstay is both long-lasting and buildable so can be easily reapplied throughout the day if needed. I also really recommend Dior Star- it’s a bit more on the pricy side at £32 but really brightens the skin and is designed for long wear. Sadly sometimes a solid primer and foundation combination isn’t enough to withstand the cycle through the exhibition park or power walk to the next lecture. This is where blotting sheets are excellent. If your skin tends to get a little shiny throughout the day, rather than swirling on a heap of powder, a simple pat across the t-zone with a blotting sheet can quickly remove any excess oil. If you are on the lookout for a good powder though I really recommend benefit’s Hello Flawless, which you can layer to get as much coverage as you want. I’ve found lip stains and pencils to hold better throughout the day than glosses or sticks- the colour pay off is often better and most really do last

all day. Benefit’s Benetint is highly popular with beauty bloggers and for good reason, its rosy shade manages to suit all skin tones and it can also be used on the cheeks. A good waterproof mascara is also worth investing in, yes they can be a bit of a pain to remove but at least it means there’s no chance of them smudging throughout the day!

livers on its promises to create full, plush lashes. Yet, while it looked beautiful after the initial ap-

plication in the morning, it faded and transferred under my eyes after few hours, your blue eyelashes go back to a normal shade.

“If your skin tends to get a little shiny, rather than swirling on a heap of powder, a simple pat across the t-zone with a blotting sheet can quickly remove any excess oil”

Maybelline’s Colossal Mascara is perfect for a student budget and lasts all day without clumping. Makeup can also tend to look a little on the dull side by the afternoon. Face mists are really good at giving the skin a quick pick-me-up and help set make up in place if you’re reapplying throughout the day. The Body Shop’s Vitamin E Face Mist not only smells gorgeous, its also great for if your skin gets a little dry during winter.

10#4"$%8-)'49",%:-)6%;0&&% !#&&$%74%#"-1/!%&2)*5'4!%&,(.4(&")1&3")&-*)1&3).+(!&!("/&&51#.+(! Instagram: @zendaya It’s the metallic bronze that gives this edgy classic an instant and glowy update. A beautiful bronze look makes her eyes pop and a neutral lip colour that would compliment every look.

“No one ever said a smoky eye could only be created with a dark, charcoal shadow” Zendaya finished the look with a slightly mauve lip shade, which I think is a great neutral alternative to the traditional rich nude lip that can wash you out if you’re not careful. No one ever said a smoky eye could only be created with a dark, charcoal shadow. In fact, her trick is to give black matte products a break by using lighter neutrals like bronze instead to enhance the gold flecks in her eyes. This will render this look even more wearable in the daytime and less prone to the smudging that can occur on winter days, since it’s more soft and subtle than black and gray– based shadows. This is a gorgeous twist on the classic smoky eye and will look great with a tan. If like me, you think she really rocked the look, then feel free to recreate her flawless bronze smoky eyes and rock super sexy mauve lips for yourselves.

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his volumising shampoo from L’Occitane, ‘a silicone-free shampoo to give body, bounce and vitality to fine hair lacking volume’ as it reads on the bottle. Since moving to England, I have suffered a great deal of hair loss, and to my disappointment this shampoo has heightened my frustration. Despite being heralded as the best natural shampoo out there it still did nothing to aid the recovery of my hair, only made it fall further after several uses. It is promised to recover the hair, and make it more bouncy and full of volume! Sadly, it did absolutely nothing to add volume but functions like a normal shampoo as it cleans my hair very well.

“Despite being heralded as the best natural shampoo out there it still did nothing to aid the recovery of my hair” I can’t deny this shampoo smells great and cleaned my hair well but it definitely is not a good shampoo for my hair as it caused yet even more damage. When asked about which makeup item disappointed me most, the Diorshow mascara should be the unquestioned winner. The famous favourite ‘Dior’s runway waterproof mascara with “lash-extension” volume in an electric blue colour’. Indeed, this de-

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Monday 26 October 2015

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t must be said (and has been, multiple times, especially when the Christmas decorations start appearing before October even begins) that Halloween is one of my personal favourite times of year. It always has been, ever since I was a kid; spooky ghost stories, decorations, films and, most importantly, costumes all culminate into this grand but still silly and fun festival of the strange, unusual and downright terrifying. For me, all that gets taken away by dressing sexy and not scary for Halloween. I just can’t be afraid of the Wicked Witch of the West when I see her in fishnet stockings and a leather push-up bra. Zombies just aren’t the shambling, grotesque reflections of a duller, more animalistic humanity when they’re in platform boots and miniskirts only lightly drizzled with blood. There just isn’t any fun or creativity in picking up a sexy schoolgirl costume from the shop and wearing it to a dull, overly long Halloween party which is just the same as any other party except now there are pumpkins and the creepers can see even more of

all of your friends at midnight and spend the ride home convincing each other that Freddy Kruger is after you. Take the time to write a scary ghost story, something imaginative and weird and fun, and tell it in a dark room by candlelight. Everyone can dress up sexily to a party at any time of year. Why waste the opportunity to do something different? Does growing up mean turning every fun holiday into yet another party that you could have at any other time of year? But there is an actual issue here. There is pressure on women to dress in a certain way, to be

sexually appealing, to wear make-up and be thin and, of course, to dress sexy for Halloween. I’m not going to tell women that they aren’t independent feminists if they wear a sexy watermelon costume this year but I do have some pretty serious advice: make sure you actually enjoy it. Who chose that costume? Are you wearing that because it’s just the thing you think you’re supposed to do or because you genuinely have fun dressing that way and going to that party? Did your friends say you’d look stupid in a scary outfit so you went for something sexy? Or is it just fun for you to spend a day as a sexy werewolf?

“Are you wearing that because it’s just the thing you think you’re supposed to do or because you genuinely have fun dressing that way and going to that party?”

“Halloween is an opportunity to do something you wouldn’t be able to do for the rest of the year”

No matter what your preference, have fun this Halloween and don’t be scared to look unattractive. For some reason, people dress sexy for Halloween. Personally, I’d rather terrify.

your flesh. Halloween is a time of childish fun. Like Christmas, birthdays and any other holiday you remember spending all year looking forward to as a kid, every Halloween is an opportunity to do something you wouldn’t be able to do for the rest of the year. Dress up as something ridiculous, terrifying, even funny, and go around people’s houses asking for sweets. Go out to a scary movie with

Melanie Squires

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irls, forget thinking you need to dress yourself in a frumpy Halloween witch costume with the ugliest make up on to match. Use the following make up tips to give yourself the ultimate sexy look for Halloween! Body Paint: Ladies, when do you ever see a zombie or a witch with a tan? Make sure ALL of your fake tan, should you wear any, is off and replace it with white body paint to give your appearance a ghostly hue. Use this instead of your normal foundation. Pay special attention to the neck; depending on the character you are dressing up as, draw marks with red paint to give the look of bites, or should we say, love bites. You might not think it looks too appealing covering yourself in white body paint compared to your normal bronzed selves, but get yourself some shimmer bronzer (MAC makeup is an excellent place to look for this), which can also be used for everyday make-up, and highlight the contours of your face/ muscles to show off your bone structure. Highlighting your cheekbones will make you look extra desirable to any observing male zombie.

Drawing on winged eyeliner and smoky eye make-up is also a nice effect for Halloween, and will contrast nicely with your pale body paint.

“For those of you who aren’t so gifted, lots of shops sell fake nails which are perfect for Halloween”

Lips: So you’ve got sexy make-up on, ladies you want to be kissed, right? Before applying your lipstick exfoliate your lips with a flannel (this tip was made famous by the supermodel Georgia May Jagger) to make your lips look more voluptuous, and, quite frankly, kissable. Choose your lipstick colour; black is popular for Halloween, or choosing a pink colour then putting red over the top gives a nice effect. Then get yourself some fake blood and create the effect that it is dripping from your mouth; this will make you look bloodthirsty and desirable to any male vampire. Hair: Yes, backcombing your hair for Halloween might have been a nice idea when you were eight years old but understandably, now it may not appeal to all of you to go out with your hair

Eyes: Applying fake eyelashes is always a good bet for Halloween; they give your exaggerated make-up that extra something. Wearing fake eyelashes can perfect the sexy make-up look; they enhance your facial features, draw attention to your eyes, and ultimately give you a beautiful sideprofile. They also give the chance for you ladies to flutter your eyelashes that bit more. eyelashes

Illustration credit: Anton Brand like that. If you want to keep your hair relatively natural in order to draw more attention to your dramatic make-up, try teasing your hair instead to give body to your hair without going completely crackers. There are many teasing instructions online which give you a step-by-step processes, but in short teasing your hair is a tamed version of the backcombing process. Also, if you want to be a bit radical, spraying your hair a certain colour, such as black, might compliment your costume (but make sure it washes out, yes, some are permanent).

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ou don’t have to be looking at makeup tutorials for too long before the infamous Naked palette begins to crop up. However, it’s a large price to pay for an eye shadow palette that is meant to look like different shades of skin. So I did a lot of research with a lot of trial and error -ironically eventually spending probably more than the Naked palette itself- and the W7 palette is by far the best. Its shades are virtually the same, and the coverage is amazing. You could even double some of the shades up for eyebrow powders if you fancied being extra frugal. But I have a solution to your eyebrow woes later on…

Mac Ruby Roo lipstick, £15.50 Dupe: Seventeen Date Night, £4.49 This lipstick has developed somewhat of a cult following, no thanks to the huge explosion of red lips seen on runways, but partly because of its timeless look. However, once again, restocking such a lipstick is a costly business. Cue Seventeen. Their ‘Stay Pout’ range has two amazing reds in the collection. I’ll go out on a whim and assume you line your lips first because, along with lip liner, this lipstick has an impressive staying time. The package is very sleek looking and definitely doesn’t look like a Miss Sporty tinted lip balm. The two shades ‘make an entrance’ and ‘date night’ differ slightly, with the latter being a tad darker, but they are both still brilliant “true” reds that give Ruby Woo a run for its money.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz, £15.50 Makeup Revolution Brow Dual Arch And Shape, £3.50 Anyone who is as obsessed with eyebrows as me knows that Anastasia Soare is the go-to woman for amazing brows. On the other hand, when I’ve spent all of my money on vodka lemonades, I want to know that- if nothing else- I can still make my eyebrows look like they’re loved. Makeup Revolution’s variant on the eyebrow pencil is slightly better in my opinion. Yes, there are fewer shades, and yes there is no brush. However, you do get the pencil and the pen. Let me tell you, that humble marker pen will change your eyebrows lives. As long as you don’t use it like a Sharpie. It comes in three shades, which is quite extensive, because most people fall into the darker two anyway. But just in case you’re fair like me, you don’t have to walk around with black eyebrows, which is always a plus.

Instagram: @stylestudiola Flickr: @Fantasia Nail varnish: Make sure your nails are painted a colour associated with Halloween, such as black, green or red. If you have a particular flair for painting groovy nails you could decorate them with spooky characters; ghosts could be a good idea, for example, as their white colour would stand out against the nail colour. For those of you who aren’t so gifted, lots of shops sell fake nails which are perfect for Halloween. So, ladies, why just look scary when you can look sexy too? Start having some fun using these tips and give your observers a hair-raising Halloween! Ellie Trent

%HDXW\ WLS RI WKH ZHHN There is nothing quite like, and no style that is as staple as the classic and dramatic cat eye. What’s different when it comes to Halloween beauty? This year we have seen it worn more dramatic than ever and Halloween is the perfect time to embrace this. Create an intimidating look with bigger flicks and glossy graphic lines. Try tones of plums and purples to further amp up the drama of a basic smoky eye. Enhance these tones by using it as your lip colour too; keeping it bold, dark and matte for a style you can rework and re wear through the A/W season. Lauren Williamson

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Monday 26 October 2015

The Courier

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rey Street - our historical jewel in the British crown has been voted the best street in Britain by BBC Radio 4’s Today Programme! As I stand by the beloved Earl Grey monument (‘The Monument’) on a clear, cold October evening I have no doubts as to why this would be the case.

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o I decided to enrich myself artistically when I chose to go and visit The Gallery at Tyneside Cinema for the first time and write this review. Squeezing the trip in an hour break between lectures, I found myself surprised when, after climbing to the third floor of the cinema and opening the heavy door of the exhibition room, expectation misaligned with reality. One: it was a solo exhibition. Two: it was fucking dark. But don’t worry, there’s no need to cue Regina Spektor’s ‘Hero’ from 500 Days of Summer.

“The Gallery space had transformed into a sort of mini-cinema” The Gallery space had transformed into a sort of mini-cinema, and, after confirming that I was in fact the only person in the room following a frantic neck workout, I settled down and watched the exhibition. ‘Cinesexual’ it was called, by the artist Ursula Mayer, and it was a double projection of two films on opposite sides of a screen. Both films documented the same series of movements as actors, JD Samson and transgender Dutch model, Valentijn de Hingh, change positions with each other, but from two cameramen’s perspectives as they face and film each other. It was very calming, a nice little place to be with one’s thoughts, and as I moved between the front and back of screen, not only did I think about my impending death by dissertation, but I also started to get a feel of what Mayer was trying to get at. It is about transcending boundaries: the viewer is in complete darkness like a cinema, but is not bound to a seat and is able to move around unlike the normal static experience of watching from a restricted viewpoint.

“Conventional markers of femininity and masculinity are taken away”

Conventional markers of femininity and masculinity are taken away by starring a tall transwoman and a shorter man both wearing nude colours. This, combined with the act of constantly switching positions, challenges the so-called confines of gender and our limits of vision. These concepts are played with as the performers move on- and off-screen, sending out that ‘there’s-more-to-what-meets-theeye’ message. The name ‘Cinesexual’ perpetuates this theme, as it is a combination of ‘cinema’, derived from the word for ‘movement’ in Greek, and ‘sexual’, relating to the two distinct sexes. But then again, I might be reading into things too much, I am an English Literature student after all.

“Once you were absorbed in it, you lost all sense of time ” So, as bizarre as the whole experience was, I found it very interesting how something so simple could extend to all these complexities. Also, how once you were absorbed in it, you lost all sense of time – plus it was for free, which is always good. What’s more, there’s the Tyneside Bar Café conveniently underneath it. The ambience is great and what’s cooler than a bar/café that has a mural of the word ‘DIALOGUE’ that is made up of actual dialogues from movie café scenes?!

Classical ridges mixed with 19th century stonework combined with floral ironwork cascading down the sides of buildings, and erected in the form of streetlights, transports me to a world of Georgian grandeur. On rare cloudless mornings and evenings it gains a glittering, incandescent haze exhibiting a surreal beauty. Be sure to take a second glance on a peaceful autumn evening when the sun just so happens to create a warm glow on the west side of the street. It produces a powerful image. Built in 1830 by Newcastle-born Richard Grainger, Grey Street displays a historical sensitivity, re-enacting a small centre of commerce. While modern day chain cafes and restaurants now occupy Grey Street, the classical building blocks of late 18th century and early 19th century architecture still remain. Having wandered down the infamous Northumberland Street experiencing the hustle and bustle to reach the head of Grey Street, the stark contrast between the two blocks is staggering. At the head of the street is Earl Grey’s monument, which is considered the most obvious meeting place among many. Commemorating The Great Refor m Act 1834 the statue subtly hints towards the city’s radi-

cal political history. The street descends from here down to the Tyne River. With respect to the sinuosity of the street no one puts it more beautifully than Sir John Betjeman who notes: “As for the curve of Grey Street, I shall never forget seeing it to perfection, traffic-less on a misty Sunday morning. Not even Regent Street, even old Regent Street London,

“The centre for what happens to be the greatest city in England”

can compare with that descending subtle curve.” With the ability to see all the way across the Tyne to Gateshead, I am reminded why this is the city I adore. Not only is Newcastle a part of the Northern powerhouse and has been for centuries, it is steeped in local history, which is embraced and celebrated. Unlike many industrial cities, where buildings have been destroyed and manufactured into modern townscapes, Newcastle has remained rooted to its traditional architecture. Year upon year, decade upon decade, local councils have so often considered 18th and 19th century buildings to have drained monetary pots, only for them to be demolished and for concrete jungles to be erected in their place.

“Classical ridges mixed with 19th century stonework combined with floral ironwork”

With the Rugby World Cup 2015 attracting thousands of visitors from across the globe to the heart of our city centre, I have often heard visitor’s amazement at the rich magnificence that Grey Street has to offer. As a history student I am optimistic that Grey Street will continue to attract tourists from across the world, host fairy-light filled Christmas festivities and continue to be the centre for what happens to be the greatest city in England.

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he first volume in the Special Collections small selection of Medieval Manuscripts is entitled Saints Lives. I would love to give an overview of this manuscript however my skills in Medieval Latin are somewhat lacking. I was presented with a book backed in wonderful red velvet now worn at the edges. I then immediately proceeded to have heart palpations when I opened the book and the cover fell away from the spine. Not to worry, this just explained why the volume had been tied shut with a length of string. It felt incredible just to turn the old pages. A few seemed to be made of a thick hide, many pages were precariously brittle and objected to being turned, while others had grown soft and fuzzy with age. The first thing I noticed was the writing. Impossibly neat black handwriting filled every page in two columns. Each word was made so precisely and from what I could tell there were no mistakes or crossings-out, not a letter was out of place. I challenge any of us to accomplish this. I soon realised that in the background of all the pages was a faint grid featuring rows of guidelines. This was how the writer had achieved such uniformity in his work.

“Impossibly neat black handwriting filled every page in two columns”

The first letter of each paragraph was emboldened by the use of either red or blue ink. The letter

flowed into the margin and each one was accentuated with thin lines that looped around the letter and up and down in the margin. If the letter was

“I was struck by just how much the writer must have cared”

red then the decorative lines were made in blue and vice versa. I could almost sense the writer’s frustration when a new paragraph fell into the second column on the page and he was left with a much smaller margin that constricted his repetitive, yet elegant, drawings. Perhaps at the beginning of a new chapter (again I apologise for my lack of Latin) the first letter was transformed into something marvellous. The letter was at least twice in length as the others and considerably thicker. The blue and red ink had been placed side-by-side. In one instance red was used to create the foundation of the letter ‘P’ then the blue was used to build the surrounds to the letter. It was then I realised that the two inks never touched and not just in this design but throughout the entire manuscript. The inside of the letter ‘P’ was completely filled with blue ink to contrast the surrounding red. The

symmetrical design featured four curving lines spinning out from a central point. Each curve ended in the same frilly half-circles that were also used to decorate the first paragraph letter. These bigger letters all had variations of this internal design. Throughout my examination of this text I was struck by just how much the writer must have cared about this perfectly crafted manuscript and how much time and love had been put into creating it.

The Courier

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Monday 26 October 2015

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piece is the result of a collaboration between Auden and his friend, and fellow artist, Benjamin Britten. Auden wrote the poem, which Britten then set to choral music and was completed in 1942. As mentioned above, ‘Notes from Underground’ is also set to choral music, following the pattern set by Britten and Auden’s collaboration.

“The story starts of with the unknown the ‘monster crouched inside the stone’”

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he song-cycle ‘Notes from Underground’, Thursday 15th October, Gala Theatre, was just one of the many events in this year’s Durham Book Festival calendar. This event was aimed at exploring the work of W.H. Auden, one of the greatest and most famous poets of the 20th Century. Commissioned by New Writing North, ‘Notes from Underground’ is a song-cycle collaboration between two Newcastle professors, Sean O’Brien and Agustín Fernández. It brings Auden’s poetry to life by setting it to music, which includes a chamber choir (Voices of Hope) and a baritone soloist (Benjamin Appl), as well as the Royal Northern Sinfonia providing the chamber ensemble. Auden was born in York in 1907, and then moved

Solihull with his family in 1908, making him a local of the North East. He was always fascinated by the Northern Pennines and the lead-mining industry in the area, which later inspired his poetry. Auden’s work also deals with ideas of politics,

“The music was a brilliant mix that highlighted the danger and temptation”

morals, love and religion, which are reflected in the poems selected for ‘Notes from Underground’. This is seen specifically through the poem, Now When I Was A Curious Boy, where he writes ‘All was there to serve my pleasure / The miners and their high-born masters’. ‘Notes from Underground’ opened with Voices for Hope’s rendition of Hymn to St. Cecilia. This

This arrangement by O’Brien and Fernández works perfectly with Auden’s poetry. At times dark and foreboding and at others more light and playful, the music was a brilliant mix that highlighted the danger and temptation presented in the poetry. The descent made in the poetry is used to present the songcycle as a dream descent into the underworld, where the man stands trial before being sent back above, ‘I dreamed I went to hell to learn’. The story starts off with fear of the unknown, the ‘monster crouched inside the stone’ and moves towards desperation to be back, ‘Carry me up to the light / And leave me to stand on my own two feet’. The evening finished with three songs from Mahler’s Das Lied von der Erde. These songs are similar to the ideas expressed through Auden’s work in that they speak of the land and nature as a means of expressing themselves. I do have to say that this evening was different to what I had expected. Only knowing a little of Auden’s poetry, I was slightly worried that I would not be able to understand the context and the meaning of the poetry. However, the music score that accompanied the poetry allowed the audience to connect. I came away feeling like I could understand the emotions inspired by the poetry.

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ur dependence on material possessions has caught us up in many an unfavourable situation. Inanimate objects and our relation with them has served to further the existence on mankind over centuries. Sarah Daglish’s exhibition, titled ‘Ichor’ harks back to the first of mankind’s civilizations- Ancient Greece and how the narratives rooted within mythologies are still applicable in the modern age. With a remarkable postmodern take on ancient Greek mythology, Daglish has managed to juxtapose the transience of mankind, with the permanence of the inanimate. The theme of materiality forms the backbone of this evocative presentation. Materiality in this context, involves a change of form, shape and function. The installations present in the exhibit, unfurl the poetics of materiality, as the objects seem to possess the ability to convey symbolism and meaning. Moreover their representations as living elements, serves only to exemplify their role as material representations of human kind. While consisting of only five installations, Daglish’s work manages to evoke a range of emotions within the viewer, forcing the onlooker to consider the inanimate works

“Daglish’s work manages to evoke a range of emotions”

of art of a conscious representation of life. One particular work represents three stanzas from the Keats poem, ‘From Endymion’ imprinted on sheets of copper, exemplifying the aim of the author. The use of copper, as the artist explained, was to show the lack of control man has over even the most common metal. The story of Endymion,

the Greek shepherd who fell in love with the moon is an emotion of fantasy and a longing for a reconnect with nature. Such poetic outpouring is starkly imprinted on the sheets of metal signifying both, the lack of control the man has towards the object of his affection, and the lack of control he has over a common copper.

“Ichor represents the ultimate pursuit of man immortality.”

‘Ichor’ or the ethereal fluid that is god’s blood, is the theme that ties all works of art together. In one respect, Ichor represents the ultimate pursuit of man- immortality. On another, deeper level however, it’s unattainability reflects man’s ardent pursuit of the impossible. Described by the artist as being ‘lethally toxic to humans’ Ichor represents the instability of forms, liquids and materials, and their volatility in the hands of man. The central three installations tie the entire exhibit together, with the theme of ‘Ichor’ The first, a charred set of sticks, encased in a metal frame, representing the charred house of the Greek Goddess of Envy. The second, a simple metal trough of red liquid and the final, a set of charred sticks standing by themselves, but in a pool of leaking black liquid. With each piece lending itself to the other, the artist forces us to focus on the changing states of matter and the basic inherent features of substances. Much like changing states of matter, man’s own unpredictability and potential to overspill, weaved within the narrative of Greek mythology, forces us to consider every little thing a living entity.

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Broken Chords He plucks the strings of her harpa broken chord; mysterious, unfamiliar, vulnerable. He was not delicate; his touch graceless. From faultless to fault only takes a moment. And now? The melody lingers on the stroke of the past, whilst the next note takes its turnmistakes manifest. Unable to comprehend the future, an unfinished harmony, an imperfect cadencewhat next? The ensuing note is slumped... Waitingovercome by passion, the strings are plucked so hard they breakinto a chromatic mess.

Olivia Wilson

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hen you talk to most people about northern dialects, more often than not they’ll mention Geordie or Yorkshire, but few know about the Cumbrian dialect. The Cumbrian dialect is a mix of mainly Celtic and Norse which if you heard someone speaking completely in Cumbrian you probably wouldn’t even believe it is a form of English, never mind understanding it. For example words such as ‘bubblyjock’ (turkey), ‘lug’ (ear), ‘cuddy’ (donkey), ‘bairn’ (child) originate from Scandinavian languages. While, ‘fettle’ (health) and ‘tatie’ (potato) originate from German, yam (home) and lowp (jump) are Norse, and scran (food) is Icelandic. The mixture of languages as settlers moved in and out of the area makes for some funny place names, such as, Torpenhow (pronounced Truh-pen-uh by locals). It is constructed of the Old English ‘Tor’, Old Welsh ‘Pen’, and Norse ‘How’, when translated this means: ‘hill hill hill’. There’s also Cockermouth, but that is funny for a different reason...

“Scandinavian, ... Norse, ... German, .... Icelandic...”

Our pronunciation of places often lead to confusion with tourists particularly Aspatria which is pronounced ‘Spatrie’ or ‘Spyatrie’ and Workington which is pronounced ‘Wukinton’. The dialect doesn’t just affect the way we speak but also the way we write, even influencing graffiti, for example the welcome sign into Wigton had the caption ‘A barrie la’l spot’ added in marker pen. The phrase simply reads: ‘A nice little place’, the words used are very common across Cumbria. A lot of dialect words are centred around everyday life, such as the weather and - since Cumbria is very rural and agricultural - the outdoors and farming. We even have our own numerical system for counting sheep (yows): yan (one), tan (two), tethera (three), methera (four), pip (five), sethera (six), lethera (seven), hovera (eight), dovera (nine), dick (ten). For eleven and twelve etc it works like other languages where you simply mush one and ten together: ‘yandick’ etc. Then it changes to ‘bumfit’ for fifteen and ‘yanbumfit’ for sixteen, and finally giggot for twenty. Weird but interesting, right?

“ When people hear me speaking Cumbrian they often give me funny looks” There are plenty of words and phrases that my University friends can’t guess the meaning of, like ‘marra’ (mate), ‘jeukal’ (dog), and ‘jinnyspin’ (daddy long legs). If you feel overwhelmed by all these different words being thrown at you, don’t worry, I’ll give you a short lesson in how to understand a little everyday Cumbrian. A common Cumbrian greeting is ‘Ah reet’, meaning ‘All right’. You will often hear the phrases ‘Owz it gaan?’ (How’s it going?) and ‘Ow’s fettle?’ (How are you?) and the answers ‘Reet’ ([All]Right), ‘Barrie’ (Good), ‘Nae sa barrie’ (Not so good), and ‘Gammy’ or ‘Bad fettle’ (Not well). When people hear me speaking Cumbrian they often give me funny looks, not understanding what I’m saying, even people from Cumbria themselves, as the dialect and accent varies across the county. Cumbria didn’t become an administrative county until 1974 and is made out of three different old counties: Cumberland, Westmorland, and Lancashire. However, I am proud to have a Cumbrian accent and dialect, especially as the dialect is being used less and less as younger generations are taught to speak and write in Standard English.

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Monday 26 October 2015

The Courier

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hile it’s easy to be sucked into Ouseburn and the joys of Think Tank it is unfair to forget the rest of the North East. While Newcastle has a lot to offer musically it’s definitely worth lacing up your docs and hopping on a metro to explore some of the other treats that the region has to offer.

Surf Cafe - Tynemouth

Newcastle has the privileged position of being a fine city a mere hop away from the coast. If Brighton is the bohemian coastal getaway to London, then Tynemouth is the seaside shangri-la to Newcastle and the Surf Cafe is the perfect venue to catch Tyne and Wear’s top talent. With friendly Aussie bar staff (of course there would be in a Surf bar) and a decent food menu, this is the perfect venue to escape the city and catch some of the regions top musical talent in a relaxed and friendly venue.

Independent/Holmeside Coffee -

Being from Sunderland myself, I’ve spent many an hour drinking, dancing and catching bands and DJs at this versatile venue. On the weekend the greater club Independent has hosted bands such as The Subways and recently had Thomas Turgoose of This Is England fame DJing their Saturday nightclub event. During the day a small section of it’s open as a coffee shop, owned and ran by the lads from Lilliput, where you can sample artisan coffee and a divine peanut butter hot chocolate. On a weeknight it hosts monthly film clubs, a reading circle and a writers group which provides a fertile creative space in a city that is always living in the shadow of their black and white neighbours. FUCK THE MAGS.

Sound It Out Records - Stockton Upon Tees It’s not often you hear about a record shop having a documentary made about them, no less in Teesside, but Sound It Out Records was the subject of Jeanie Finlay’s 2011 film profiling the last independent vinyl-selling store in the region. Surprisingly, this documentary even got airspace at South By South West Festival that year, which is pretty damn surprising considering Teesside’s greatest export is the chicken parmo. The shop itself is a treasure trove of goods where you can get classic punk LPs alongside recently pressed vinyl by artists such as Mercury Rev. Also stocking clothes and vintage editions of the NME this store is worth catching the rickety train from Central Station across the region. If you’re pressed for time or a bit too hungover for the trek, than it’s also worthwhile to check out Sound It Out’s online store, which lists most of the stock, they also have in the shop front.

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n today’s society, death tends to immortalise musicians. But why does our obsession with an artist grow exponentially once they’ve kicked the bucket? Why do we put them on a pedestal bigger than any stage they played when they were alive? All I know is mortality boosts record sales, that’s for sure. Last week it was announced that the soundtrack from the recent film ‘Amy’ is to be released later this month. It will feature a collection of live versions and ‘rarities’ including a downtempo edition of ‘Some Unholy War’. The only thing is, with the click of a button a lot of these songs can be accessed on Spotify, Soundcloud or Youtube. From the industry’s viewpoint I suppose its cash that’s the driving force. But, surely profit is not a viable justification to revive the dead through their music. Winehouse’s album ‘Lioness: Hidden Treasures’, was released four months after she died and it ended up being the highest selling album of 2011, it’s just a shame she’ll never know. When a statue of Amy Winehouse was revealed in London, people flocked from all over the world to attend the unveiling. There’s no denying she was an astonishingly talented artist; but we’ve suddenly transformed her into an object of worship instead of appreciating the music she produced. In 2012, Coachella decided to one-up this by making the most of technological advancements to glorify the late Tupac by producing a hologram of the rapper. That’s where I finally draw the line; trying to recreate a performance of a dead man is slightly disturbing and morally sketchy. We need to let the dead rest in peace instead of exploiting them for our own benefit. Michael Jackson, John Lennon, Johnny Cash - the list is endless. There’s even a 27 Club of talented musicians, adding to the mystery surrounding death which as a society we

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“She was an astonishingly talented artist; but we’ve suddenly transformed her into an object of worship instead of appreciating the music she produced”

I fully put my hands and admit that I often join in with obsessing over artists who’ve passed away - to some extent. After Amy Winehouse died, I played her music far more frequently than I had done before. Perhaps for the listeners it’s just innocent musical martyrdom and a way to cherish the music. Maybe for the industry it simply comes down to money.

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While I do believe this video was intended to be a campy sci-fi spoof, it ended up being a truly terrifying experience and I was traumatised for years after watching it the first time. Something about the giant purple cuddle towel and the dude’s flower crown ensured that I had trouble sleeping. So while it may not be the conventional stuff of nightmares, it will keep you awake at night (even if it is just in amazement that a video like that exists).

Girls want to have a lot of things, but we certainly don’t want whatever she is having. This video is just vaguely traumatising, as in you spend the majority of the video shaking your head, occasionally muttering to yourself wondering just how exactly you ended up watching this and why no one on that production team thought to maybe not make that video. As it is, you’ll watch that video once, realize you never want to have that particular brand of fun and then spend the rest of your life never talking about it ever again. Also, that mullet. Yikes.

Twisted Lip - Middlesborough While Empire is the main draw for bands and DJs to Middlesbrough, it is Twisted Lip that offers a more laid back and relaxed venue to listen to good music and drink tasty beers. On Saturday night’s they host Funkbox, unsurprisingly a funk and disco night, that’s free in and invites you to “Come to dance and bring a smile”. As well as club night’s, they frequently host acoustic nights showcasing local talent, but also they’ve recently had more established artists such as Paul Heaton of Beautiful South and Housemartins fame. The management deliberately set themselves apart from the rest of the bars in Boro by decorating it with reclaimed furniture from an abandoned church giving the bar a truly unique ambience in the heart of smoggy land.

have always been fascinated by. Next month, Kurt Cobain’s rendition of the Beatles’ And I Love Her / Sappy (early demo) is set to be released as a 7 inch vinyl that can be bought for £10. It’s bit steep for a single which is once again available on the internet. You could even splash out and get the Montage of Heck Home Recordings Deluxe Edition for a modest £100. I’m left wondering, if Cobain were alive today would these extra records be released and would they be so expensive? Perhaps our infatuation with Nirvana’s frontman stems from the conspiracy surrounding his death - I suppose that is most likely true in my case. I’m not necessarily a massive fan of the music, I like a handful of their songs yet I’ve watched numerous documentaries and interviews with them.

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Where to even start with this one. I mean unrequited love, laying yourself bare, it’s a tale as old as time and we’ve all heard it. But watching some dude randomly start stripping? Slightly traumatising. Ignoring the general basis of the song – being seeing a beautiful woman on the train with another man and falling madly in love with her – the cold rain, too up-closeand-personal face shots, and then the weird emptying out of the pockets? Yeah, thanks but no thanks. She’ll just stick with the guy you saw her with on that train. At least he kept his clothes on at appropriate times.

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I’m sure the intention behind this was a stormy and moody, soul-searching sort of meaningful video to go along with a lovely love ballad. What we got should honestly be considered a crime. Who would’ve thought the melding of beautiful faces was this nightmare-worthy? Needless to say, the boys probably should have shied away from this tactic. And here I thought we all learned the valuable lesson from Frankenstein: that stitching people together and trying to make life out of something that shouldn’t exist just isn’t cute.

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Absolutely tragic. Nothing about this video is good. The clothes are horrendous, the dancing is even worse, and the production is abysmal. Is it wrong to expect more from two of the largest icons in music and film in history? No, I don’t think so. You let the whole world down, Bowie and Jagger. And none of us were ever the same after bearing witness to this video.

The Courier

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Monday 26 October 2015

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efore I started listening to the album, I’ll admit that I had some preconceptions. All I really knew of Selena Gomez was that she was a bit poppy and used to date Justin Beiber. She seemed to be the perfect, Disney princess style of pop star. However, Revival marks Gomez’s fifth album and, despite only being 23, she’s certainly no stranger to the industry. This is plainly evident throughout the album as Revival shows Gomez heading in a more mature direction.

side to Gomez’s voice. ‘Same Old Love’ comes across almost nineties in its approach with jaunty keyboards and finger clicking providing the beat. The chorus could easily have come straight out of Charli XCX’s back catalogue, mixing the tone of voice and sing-a-long, teenage-anthem chorus which are both resonant with Charli’s style. ‘Same Old Love’ is followed by ‘Sober’, which immediately reminded me of ‘Boom Clap’, another Charli XCX song. She must be a fan then.

The lead single off the album, ‘Good For You’ sets out the agenda. The slow, sultry electro beat perfectly compliments Gomez’s husky voice. The track certainly marks a difference from 2013’s ‘Come and Get It’. ‘Good For You’ not only showcases what a mesmerising voice Gomez actually owns, but also marks a change in Gomez’s production style. She has revealed her huge creative input into this album and it really shows. ‘Me & The Rhythm’ takes on the role of the disco track that appears to be on just about every album, but Gomez’s husky voice transforms the song from ‘generic disco track’ to a decent take on the style. Likewise, ‘Survivors’ is another stand-out, and is actually one of the best from Revival. The slightly Diplo-esque, grungy house track would not sound out of place in the coolest of clubs. Still, Gomez’s pop roots are never far behind. ‘Camouflage’ ticks off the ‘emotive ballad’, essential to any pop record. Still, the lyrics are mature and it’s a generally sound track, displaying a stronger

The album is by no means perfect. Funky dance track, ‘Body Heat’ can be easily forgotten on an album which does well, putting new spins on the stereotypical pop record tracks. ‘Me and My Girls’ is the biggest disappointment on Revival. The track seemed dated compared to the rest of the album. There are many attempts at reviving the stereotypical pop record. Tracks such as ‘Good For You’ and ‘Survivors’ show that pop music does have a place in the adult domain. It’s a shame therefore when half of the album is really pushing boundaries and doing something innovative, that the other half of Revival doesn’t quite meet the same standard. It’s definitely a bold move, however, making the transformation from ‘Pop Princess’ to someone who doesn’t follow the rulebook, and one which is welcomed, especially during those moments of genius. Revival is a good start though and it will be interesting to see if Gomez’s next album will further continue the innovation. Just maybe leave ‘Me and My Girls’ next time. Helen Daly

“Pop music does have a place in the adult domain”

Still Got That Hunger The Zombies

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hey’ve Still Got That Hunger, but do we still have the stomach for it 40 years on? The Zombies are back with their sixth studio album (their second in 4 years), after originally calling it quits in the 1960s. As a crowdfunded release, it begs the question if they really do still have that hunger, or if they’re just being greedy. Opening with ‘Moving On’, the album doesn’t scream that excitement and drive that the title suggests. The overall feel of the track is just very samey; nothing really progresses or catches your attention, it’s just there. It does have the right kind of jazzed-up rhythm to get the hoovering done quickly, but the excess of jazz-piano interludes hyped up with guitar riffs is just too reminiscent of Homeland’s Carrie Mathison to be taken seriously. In keeping with the crowd-pleasing nature of this crowdfunded project, the album features ‘I Want You Back Again’, a re-released track from album Odessey and Oracle. The track is so polished you can see your own reflection in it – but you just can’t see what was originally there. All the character and gritty vocals of the 1965 version are wiped clean, replaced by a faceless series of sounds that just don’t quite cut it. The album artwork from Odessey, however, was something that was definitely worth re-releasing, so kudos for that. Similarly, ‘Chasing the Past’ does exactly what it says on the tin, coming three decades too late and sounding seriously outdated. The Zombies have produced an album that is indistinguishable from the previous five, which may have been what the fans who contributed on Pledge Music wanted. Why bother when they probably have all five of those previous albums on vinyl, tape, CD and mp3? Ellie McLaren

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“She has revealed her huge creative input into this album and it really shows”

!"#$%&'()%&'*+ Charli XCX - Sucker Despite being released in December of last year, Sucker was a fantastically poppy way to bring 2014 to a close. Despite Selena having the longest running career out of the two, Charli XCX’s music is imbued with a British wit that broke airwaves on both sides of the Atlantic. Ryan Adams - 1989 We can’t deny that Taylor’s album was an exemplary illustration of contemporary pop music, but Ryan Adams’ take on Swift’s album absorbs the pop production value and makes it his own. Some have been outraged by Adams’, version of Swift’s massively successful album, but isn’t it well known that great artists steal?

Real Life

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ate night walks home discussing philosophical nothingness, teenage nights out reliant on “getting that one mate with the bumfluff tache to chance his arm in the offy” and waking up on sofas surrounded by cans of Red Stripe and stale takeaways – Real Life speaks the truth to many twenty-somethings in cities up and down the country who are living in ‘the decade with no name’. ‘You are the straight-through crew, not the time out crowd / I love my friends more dearly than I’m allowed to say aloud’ is repeated in dance opener ‘Blackmarket Blues’, confessing the importance of those friends that manage to stick around for the long term. Admittedly the last song written for the album, it channels the rhetoric of midnight in the city, much like The Streets ‘Original Pirate Material’ of 2002 did. Yet, the clubs of those days are now closing and people are finding new ways to party. The poetic crescendo that is ‘North Circular’ talks of those evening/morning journeys staring out of the window whilst ‘the same rain melts the same lights’. 90’s house vibe ‘World Peace’ contains speedy-synths that lead to one of the best choruses of the album. ‘Gospel’ has to be a highlight, with a light club-beat underlying a rolling prose, supposedly about “…being part of a generation of sad, young men who can only express their emotions by retweeting Harold Pinter quotes”. Real Lies have managed to create an album that is simultaneously nostalgic and modern. An album for the post-university city dwellers. The ones sharing miniscule flats, travelling to jobs they hate in the early morning light and going for late night pints to discuss the relics of their youth - yearning for lost time. Tom Ardon

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ou could argue Deafheaven are deliberately releasing an album for each season: spring 2011’s Roads to Judah, summer 2013’s Sunbather, and now autumn 2015’s New Bermuda. And where Sunbather’s music felt like a sonic expression of the long, indistinguishable days of summer, New Bermuda feels like it contains more of a transformation, a decline in the approach to winter. That’s not to say the band isn’t working with the same raw materials as ever here – the loud-quiet dynamics typical of any post-rock/black metal crossover album – but they’re arranging them in a newly evocative way. ‘Brought to the Water’, is an ambient intro (complete with church bells), that bursts into full black metal fury with more energy than they’ve ever given before. This then transitions to a majestic guitar solo, which leads into a softer acoustic section that could be excerpted from any Explosions in the Sky album. Finally, a climactic heavy passage retaining the theme from the quiet mid-section fades out into a little piano coda. Deafheaven seem keen to cover the whole emotional range in similar fashion on each of the five tracks. ‘Baby Blue’ moves from long post-rock intro, through soaring classic rock guitar solo, into Pallbearer-esque doom metal dirge. ‘Come Back’ ends on an extended tranquil section that represents the best non-metal music they’ve ever made. What’s apparent throughout is the sheer level of care that’s gone into this album. Deafheaven are not interested in minimalism, or lo-fi, or any of the things black metal enthusiasts find lacking in their work. With the stylistic variance of this album, it’s doubtful they want to be considered a black metal band at all. Instead they’ve crafted a supremely polished gem for rock and metal fans of all stripes. Jack Caulfield

After a year of living in Newcastle I’ve come to call it home and bigging it up to my friends at home has become a regular pastime. I can’t have one of these conversations without dropping in the city’s proudest achievement – that Digital is ranked at no. 35 of DJ Mag’s Top 100 nightclubs in the whole wide world. Reflecting on a summer of gallivanting around the globe, I have a clearer sense of how accurate this accolade actually is. My first adventure took place in Dublin and as we limited ourselves to Temple Bar, that trip just consisted of Guinness and lots of hairy Irishmen playing James Bay’s ‘Hold Back the River’, over, and over, and over again. Therefore, I can’t really comment on Ireland’s club culture. As for the rest of Europe; Dekmantel in Amsterdam helped those who didn’t have a gap year find themselves, and with Autechre and Four Tet on the bill I’m hardly surprised. Summertime sees everyone jump on the inter-rail wagon looking for a party time, but these snap-back clad revellers will have limited chance of crossing the threshold of Berlin’s Berghain, which is DJ Mag’s number 11. Surely Digital is better because it opens its doors to anyone? The highlight of my summer was going to LA, where I experienced an 18+ club night called Low End Theory. I applauded resident The Gaslamp Killer who told the crowd to ‘use their eyes not their motherfuckin’ iPhones.’ Obviously the world stage is bigger than the one they have at Digital, but it’s our humble stage has been walked all over by the likes of Seth Troxler and Fatboy Slim, so I think it’s up there with the best.

Preview: Amy Becker @ Cosmic Ballroom, 27th October

Recently graduated Amy Becker is the one-towatch for a student like myself: balancing a degree and booming career as a new member of NU:DJ. Her debut compilation for label Reload mixes the best elements of grime, garage and house, so this multi-genre genius will be reeling in an eclectic crowd at this week’s Ill Behaviour. Having played Digital before beside Hannah Wants and My Nu Leng, you’d think that Cosmic would be a walk in the park. But, at any rate, the air pressure will be heavier once Amy gets behind the decks of Newcastle’s more intimate dance venue. Her experience as a 1Xtra residency-holder and far-travelled festival favourite will be of value to our very own residents. I can’t wait for the Ballroom to be transformed into a construction site of thumping bass and hammering percussion. Listen to: Amy Becker - FABRICLIVE Promo Mix

You Need To Hear: Fatima Yamaha

As the title of this column suggests, ‘electronic music’ isn’t just something to shake your booty to. ‘Electronic’ of course, is a multi-purpose blanket term, which doesn’t just constitute EDM. It can also be the beat-match made in heaven for lazy Sunday’s in bed and essay-writing stress. A recent understanding of this concept is perhaps why Fatima Yamaha’s slow-burner ‘What’s A Girl To Do’ was unexpectedly reissued in June on a Dekmantel 12”. The track was welcomed with little success when it was originally released back in 2004 by Dutch producer Bas Bron who works under a female pseudonym on this particular project. After a subtly energising Boiler Room set at Dekmantel festival in August which incorporated live synths, Bas Bron has helped revolutionise techno despite the fact that many of the tracks played were dated. Fans can only hope that the hype surrounding this comeback will lead to compulsion on Bas Bron’s part to make more music. But regardless of this, take the time to bask in this newly-confirmed Classic’s revival. Listen to: Fatima Yamaha – ‘What’s A Girl To Do’

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The Courier

Monday 26 October 2015

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!"#$%&'&(%)$"&*)'#+,-&)./)$&)01.,&2*$&3%)(,&'%$&('04&#1+%).5&#*$&67&8)#*&#*$)%&.$8&'9(+:&!"#$%&&$'($)*+,-#+.$'/+*0$12*,"#$!"#$%$&'()!*+,$ ,'#&/18.&8)#*&;<'.&='%:'.-&5+)#'%),#&#1&#'94&'(1+#&#*$)%&%$#+%.&#1&#*$)%&%11#,-&7+%#&31(').>,&*')%&'./&/%$,,).5&+?&',&7),,&"1%&@'9918$$.A Hi mate, how are you doing? Ah I’m all right like, I’m just really jet lagged. I used to not really get jet lag, I would be fine but like, now it’s taking me longer and longer to get over it. Which I don’t really understand why because I live in America, I’m back and forth all the time. Apart from that, I’m fine. I’m just kinda’ cold. I’m always cold. So how does it feel to be back on tour? Em, I’m glad to be back on tour in the UK, because it feels like this record we’ve spent most of the time either doing festivals or on tour in America, which is cool. I mean, I love touring out there but its like, you drive for like three days at a time. So its not like you have like gigs night, after night, after night because it’s physically impossible. So this is like the first major UK tour we’ve done on this album, so I’m happy to finally be getting on with it. Obviously you have been on loads on tours now, you’re a veteran of the road, but do you have any rituals or special items that you take with you when you tour? We don’t really have any rituals, we’ve always made a point of not having that because...that would make it feel like work for me. I like every day to feel like its different, otherwise, I mean we’ve been on tour for such a long time if it felt like a job I wouldn’t be doing it now. I would have totally quit...One of the only ‘rituals’ we have really is that from the minute we get to the venue- we always get here early afternoon- we never leave. We don’t go out and see friends or see the city, which is kind of a missed opportunity... I think we’re just convinced that if we leave the venue something will go wrong. So we’ll always just be in the dressing room. As far as bringing stuff on tour, I’m a really light traveller. I bring as little as possible. It stops you like loosing shit. I just bring the stuff that I have to bring.

“We were on tour and we had a gig on Halloween night and we dressed as KISS, it was really fun” Socks and pants and that’s it. Yeah, I guess so. But also like, well I’m asthmatic so I need to bring my inhalers and shit. So you’re touring the album For All My Sisters, and you mentioned playing festivals. How did the new material go down this summer? It’s been really good! I feel like, especially the singles that we put out off this record like, the fans have taken to them really quickly and I think its because it sounds like typical Cribs stuff. We haven’t veered that far off, it was almost like a return to an older Cribs sound. We’ve been playing a lot of new stuff. I mean obviously from being around for such a long time, its difficult to go play a 40 minute set at a festival and you’ve gotta’ play all these singles that you’re totally sick of playing. So we’ve been trying to put in as much new stuff as we can and its been going down well. Tonight, we’re trying loads of stuff we never play. Like a lot of new bonus tracks and a lot of album tracks that we’ve never played. So its kinda’ a bit stressful actually, when we finished sound checking all the songs were stuff we’ve never played live before, which I mean, it makes stuff exciting for us because its nice to be able to change the set...Its like, ‘shit, I’ve got to play something I don’t know’, we’re not that well rehearsed on it. But you know, the threat of something going wrong kind of keeps you on your toes. There’s been a lot of talk of ‘For All My Sisters’ being a part 1 of two albums, one pop, one punk – is there any truth to this, can you tell us a bit more about it? It kind of bugs me a little bit, I think that we mentioned that and then someone reported it and then everyone else like built on top. What we were saying was, we had started making that record ages

ago, very much a striped back punk record with Steve Albini, that was back in like 2010 or 2011. We only got about half way through and then we got more excited about this one [For All My Sisters]. What happened was that after we made Brazen Bull, it was a really dark period and it made sense to make a darker record. Because I kind of think that we thought that we might not make another record, so we wanted to get that out of our system. So we had all these tracks left over that we kind of didn’t even think about putting out. And then, when things changed in our personal lives and everyone was relatively healthy and happy again we started to make a record that we kind of wanted to be a the sequel to Men’s Needs. Because after we put out Men’s Needs Johnny [Marr] joined so we had to make a different record, and after he left we wanted to make something completely different to the record we made with him. So I feel like we never we never made a proper follow up to Men’s Needs. So we had all these tracks left over and when people asked about the record we were like ‘Oh, well we do have these other songs that we’re going to finish one day’…But now everyone thinks we’re doing two records and I’m like well, we never actually said that, it was just taken as verbatim. I think we will finish them and we will put it out, but now because people ask about it…I kinda’ just cant be bothered.

“I have a lock of Kurt’s hair, that’s like my prize possession” Just prove everyone wrong. Because even the most recent articles about you guys are still stating that as fact. I know! And I mean, I’m glad that people want to know what your doing next. But basically, its still just half-finished and it will be half finished until we get a break where we can actually write songs. There are some really great singles on the new album, but apart from those, are there any songs on the album that you’re really excited to play? Um, we’re playing a bonus track called ‘Cow Lily’, which sounds really good, we’ve never played it live because we didn’t think it worked. But now we worked it out and it sounds really good. We’re playing a song called ‘Pacific Time’, which is on the album – that sounds good. A B-side called ‘I Wish I New You In The Nineties’, that’s like our newest song. So we’ve rehearsed loads of stuff. I’m definitely more excited about playing stuff we haven’t played live before, because some songs we’ve played like for nearly 15 years. We’ve actually dropped some of the old stuff as well, songs like ‘Another number’, that we played at every single gig. I don’t think we’re going to pay that tonight. Which might be kind of weird because I feel like every time that we’ve tried to drop that song people have kind of been pissed off about it so then we end up doing it anyway. Its just sometimes when you’ve been playing for such a long time it’s difficult to play’em with the same amount of passion and not feel like, when you see it on the set list like, ‘Oh, yeah….that one…’. Just before For All My Sisters you had quite a long break as a band, why was that and do you feel like you’ve learnt anything from that time? I think that like, were just trying to enjoy stuff again. You know, it’s easy to take stuff for granted when you’ve been doing the same thing for ages and because there was a long gap were we put the ‘Best Of ’ record out and it felt like some kind of…. it almost felt like the end in some ways. And a lot of that was just because of personal issues you know, and it’s so stupid. Well, it’s not stupid but I feel like outside of the band because we were so busy...I like wasn’t taking care of myself. You know like when I’d come off the road, I’d not have anywhere to live, so obviously things get really like fucked up at that point. I think that once we had time to sort that stuff out and realised that I wasn’t just like a com-

plete fatalist. Once I realised kind of how much I enjoyed doing it and I like the fact that people care about the band. So now that we’re on tour, I just try to kind of see it for what it is, it’s like a cool thing to do- I should enjoy it. There was definitely a period when I like wasn’t enjoying it as much, and I’ve tried to like reassess that now. I’m just more positive now.

“We’ve been playing a lot of new stuff. I mean obviously from being around for such a long time, its difficult to go play a 40 minute set at a festival and you’ve gotta’ play all these singles that you’re totally sick of playing” That seems like a great way to come back, feeling revitalised. Yeah, that’s why it was good to have a break as well because we hadn’t had any kind of a break for so long. You mentioned Johnny Marr before, he actually played at our SU last week, I was just wondering doing you ever miss having Johnny in the band or around generally? Yeah I miss the relationship that we had, we’re both musicians and when he was on the road with us, we were like really close, we were like best friends. But you know for a fact when he isn’t in the band anymore it’s going to be really rare that you see him because your both going to be in different cities or in different countries...But at the same time it feels really normal to be just my brothers, and me; it feels really comfortable. So when we parted ways it almost felt exciting that we were going back to a three piece. But I definitely miss having him around. I used to enjoy me and him sitting down and writing together because we were the two guitar players and I miss stuff like that, because in general I haven’t really collaborated with that many musicians at all...He’s still like a good friend, we still stay in touch but its generally like phone calls and emails and stuff. Last time I saw him he was doing a gig in Wakefield, bizarrely and we were back home in Wakefield, so we hung out with him that day. That was in August. We like to get ‘hot tips’ from musicians on new bands, got anything new your listening to right now? Erm, there’s a band that’s coming on tour with us – they’re not playing tonight- they’re called Esper Scout. They’re from Leeds, they’re signed to Kill Rock Stars. That’s how I heard of them and then

it just turned out that we had mutual friends and stuff. I really like those guys; they’re like one of my favourite new bands at the moment. Okay, so we’ve got some Halloween related questions for you, since ‘tis the season and all that! Will you be dressing up? We usually do! Last Halloween we did, we were on tour and we had a gig on Halloween night and we dressed as KISS, it was really fun. Oh wow! Did you go all out, full make up, spandex, fire? We went for it full on like. We didn’t have fire, that’s the only thing we were missing I guess! Got to up your game this year then! I’ll be back home in New York on Halloween, I might go out...I generally like Halloween, I just like this time of year you know. I like autumn. I haven’t actually had one [Halloween] out there yet, but definitely the build up to it...they make a big deal out of it. You and Gary are twins, obviously. But do you ever have any spooky Freaky Friday type moments? Not exactly, I feel like its changed a little bit now because we’re living separately but when we lived together we were very much like you know, in tune with each other. It would almost be like telepathic how similar we were and how much we knew what each other was thinking and stuff. If you could bring any musician back from the dead and play a show with them who would it be? Well, I think if I could bring any musician back I think, well, I always really loved Kurt Cobain you know, like he was my favorite. But I wouldn’t get him to play because I don’t think he’d want to play anymore or maybe he would do but you couldn’t bring him straight back from the dead and put him straight on stage. You’d have the be like you know ‘When you’re ready…’ I used to be a major Kurt obsessive, I had a full wall hanging of him; my mum was so pleased when I moved out to take it down. I was always obsessed with Nirvana growing up as a kid; they were totally my favorite band. I have a lock of Kurt’s hair, that’s like my prize possession. How does a person get a lock of Kurt’s hair? Courtney gave me it one day because whenever I was in L.A I used to stay with Courtney, it was just after I was in an accident and she was like showing me his stuff and his hair and saying like ‘this is why you don’t die young’...She was trying to teach me some kind of a lesson and then she gave me some of his hair. It was totally cool.

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The Courier

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t’s Halloween, so let’s take a look at what is widely regarded as the scariest film ever made; Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. Adapted from the Stephen King novel of the same name (but not the same story, apparently), it’s got its mega fans and it’s got its giant cynics. This week, Harry Musson and George Naylor battle it out over whether all work and no play really does make Jack a dull boy...

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Usually, I dislike horror films; I’d much rather wet my pants laughing than from genuine fear. However, The Shining is one of those rare exceptions. It’s chilling, disturbing, terrifying and directed brilliantly by one of the greats, Stanley Kubrick. The thing that strikes you is the pace of the movie. As opposed to most horror flicks, which pummel the viewer at a million miles an hour, this masterpiece slowly unwinds. The majority of the film feels almost hypnotic. We follow Danny on his tricycle down endless hotel corridors. Or listen to Jack hammering away at his typewriter. We know something isn’t quite right but it’s only in the last 30 minutes that our worst fears are realised. Kubrick gradually ups the tension and the suspense until (like the characters) it all goes a bit mental. The acting is captivating from the three leads, but it’s Jack Nicholson who steals the show and delivers an unforgettable performance. Essential viewing. Harry Musson

8.$;<<2.=2 The Shining is well-directed and has interesting psychological elements. That’s it. Had it not had Stanley Kubrick’s name on it, it would not be remembered as the horror classic it is regarded as today. Shelley Duvall’s performance is terrible; the delivery of her (sometimes equally terrible) lines is so bad, it’s sometimes off-putting. As for Nicholson, yes, he’s obviously a great actor, but he’s a bit crazy anyway. Especially since he was mentally unstable in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest only five years before, his descent into madness isn’t that shocking or sympathetic. I even used to like The Shining not long ago, so I don’t ‘need to mature more to get it’. And another thing; at 144 minutes, it’s way too long. And I can handle long films; I love The Godfather Part II and that’s 200 minutes. I wanted to like it, but it could have been so much better. George Naylor

n modern day cinema an illness spreads like a virus, infecting Hollywood, this epidemic is called “Originitis�. You know it well; we have all fallen victim to its power. We are hooked in to an origins movie by the memories of that film which has vague connections to it; we are disappointed, realising that those connections are in fact extremely tenuous. The worst case of “Originitis� can be found in the three Hobbit films. Firstly, how anyone managed to make the 300 page book into three, two and a half/three hour films is a modern marvel. Moreover, the fact that the plot was edited substantially to connect it to The Lord of the Rings is irritating to any true Tolkein fan. Peter Jackson plunges poetic license to new depths when attempting to make the tale of how Bilbo came across the ring, link with the unquestionably successful Lord of the Rings trilogy. He gives the audience a ring-side seat (get it?) to hours upon hours of New Zealand landscapes and lost plot. Furthermore, don’t get me started on the awful origins story of Legolas carefully woven into The Hobbit (in the second and third films!) It’s like an origin story within an origin story - it’s “originception�!

“Apparently, Hook, Finding Neverland, and 2003’s dreadful Peter Pan weren’t enough�

An origin story sitting between good and bad is X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The hunky Hugh Jackman could motivate me to watch anything, but aside from that, the storyline is plausible for a tale about mutants. It fills in some gaps in the X-Men mythol-

into the once quintessentially catchpenny story, of a man who saves Gotham from baddies, whilst dressed as an oversized bat. The subsequent Dark Knight and Dark Knight Rises portray a believable modern day capitalist society in chaos, threatened by collapse at the hands of evil. With a sinister spectrum of blacks, greys and blues, the comic book story is comical no more.

ogy from the successful X-Men films that precede it, but as is the case with “Originitis�, it stretches a story too far and there were times during Wolverine that contradicted the original X-Men films, causing frustration and posing questions like: “Why, just why?� and “Was the X-Men franchise such a great idea in the first place?� Nevertheless, some origin stories work. A prime example is The Dark Knight trilogy. Despite a stream of Batman films hitting our screens throughout the decades, in 2005, Christopher Nolan treated us to his take on the infamous comic hero and it didn’t disappoint. Batman Begins was exhilarating and breathed a new sense of reality

“The film industry needs to work quickly on a cure, or cinema may never be the same again�

The latest origin story is Pan, yet another take on the children story Peter Pan by J.M Barrie. Apparently, Hook, Finding Neverland Neverland, and 2003’s dreadful Peter Pan weren’t enough, Warner Bros Pictures thought we needed another slice of Peter Pan. The truth is that despite starring the aforementioned “Hunky Hugh,� the film does not deliver . It is budget-over-plot and style-over-substance because the origin story was completely invented. From nowhere, Peter is kidnapped by pirates and taken to Neverland and Hook isn’t actually a bad guy but some chap called Blackbeard is the new enemy. All in all, another crippling case of “Originitis�. The film industry needs to work quickly on a cure, or cinema may never be the same again. Audiences may even be struck down by the plague (or, at least, their wallets will be).

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he time was upon me, the Tyneside Cinema Cult Film All-Nighter. I was full of cold, but I decided to give it a go, which in hindsight was probably an awful idea. The first film on the list was Blade Runner at 11pm. I had never seen this film and the night was still young so I was very excited to see this. I was certainly in better shape than the guy next to me who asked me if I was excited for the film, then did not even know which screening we were in. I made it through the film and would give Blade Runner 8/10.

As if the fact that I’m an absolute madman wasn’t already clear, I embarked on the Tyneside Cinema’s Cult Classic All-Nighter, with a healthy dose of adrenaline-boosting films to get through the long night ahead. It all began with Blade Runner, a film I have a tricky relationship with anyway (my opinion on it over the years has fluctuated more than I can say), and it’s still a tumultuous affair. With two moments I outright hate, and with a chronic disinterest in Harrison Ford’s detective/assassin Deckard, I “I was full of cold, but de- moody have problems with stretches, but it’s cided to give it a go, which hard not to love the intense attention to in creating 2019 Los Angeles. It’s in hindsight was probably an detail also as good an existential film about AI as Ex Machina in places, which goes awful idea� a long way. From a 4 to a 9 to an 8/10. The next film was Pink Flamingos at 1:10am. Like I said, a tricky relationship. Feeling a little sleepy at 1 in the The adrenaline was really pumping now and I could not even wait for the next screening. But morning, it seems I needed the sight I think I could’ve waited for this one. Including of a twitching sphincter to wake me up, scenes of people eating dog poo (like they really and that’s exactly what I got in John Wadid) this was certainly an acquired taste. I could ter’s shockingly bad-taste Pink Flaminhave used this time to tactically nap, but I just gos.. Cult legend Divine comes up against couldn’t tear my eyes away from the actual fellatio some competition for the filthiest person alive, so does everything to earn back that taking place on the screen. 3/10. The third film was The Guest at 3:40am. I was title. Way too long, but utterly compelling, super hype for this because I have already seen it it’s an oddity that I may or may never watch and I love it. However, I was forced to chew on again. A genuine non-applicable/10. A lot of belly-laughs, bullets and bloodsome indigestion medication before this film as my body was seriously starting to hate, a lot. shed next in the form of The Guest, or what I like to call the most entertaining film But Dan Stevens soon healed me. 10/10. The fourth film was supposed to be Comman- of this new decade. Actually my do, but I claimed defeat and fell into bed at seventh viewing of the film, it was wonderful to see others 6:30am. What a weakling. gasp and chortle at this black comedy thriller for the first time. A Completion: 3/4 films - a decent pass resounding 10/10. Emma Allsopp Totally bottled Commando, regrettably. The sight of

Arnie petting a deer would’ve been a good way to round off the intense night. Completion: 3/4 films - another decent pass Simon Ramshaw

“A lot of belly-laughs, bullets and bloodshed in the form of The Guest�

The Courier

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Sicario (15)

‘My family’s always been in meat.’ - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

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hough I may not understand Spanish, Sicario is a film that can speak for itself. Translating to ‘hitman’, Denis Villeneuve’s latest thriller is a masterfully crafted examination of America’s War on Drugs that, as the title suggests, never misses its target from beginning to end. Following the aftermath of a kidnapping raid gone wrong, FBI agent Kate Macer (Emily Blunt) is assigned to aid the Department of Defense in tracking down the drug lord responsible across the Mexican border. However not all is as it seems, as Macer slowly begins to question the unorthodox methods of her CIA team leader Matt Graver (Josh Brolin), and the recruitment of the illusive Alejandro (Benecio Del Toro), whose murky past might be key to unravelling the mystery surrounding the cartel they pursue. Much like the bomb that sets the film’s events in motion, Sicario is a series of unexpected action setpieces that’ll blow you away with little remorse, leaving you no time to recollect your thoughts as you’re dragged head on into one of the most realistic depictions of modern warfare in recent cinema history. Your eyes are constantly transfixed by the screen, with each scene building a uniquely unprecedented form of tension – occasionally it’s the haunting lack of music, sometimes it’s the actors’ incredibly nuanced performances, and other times it’s the heart-pounding chase sequences, the most notable being an outstanding shoot-out taking place

It’s this never-ending aura of moral ambiguity that surrounds the entirety of Sicario, whereby both Macer and the audience are left in the dark for the majority of it’s running time. Although this can lead to pacing issues, Villeneuve (who’s no stranger to examining the grey areas of human decency in the likes of Prisoners and last year’s Enemy) expertly weaves a tale of deceit that never leaves you bored.

Pan (PG)

Suffragette (12A)

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in a traffic jam that’ll undoubtedly make you turn around next time you hit rush hour. More frighteningly, the film follows no ethical code, with our supposed ‘heroes’ of the front line using waterboarding amongst other lethal tactics against the enemy to progress the plot, all the while being contrasted to the humble everyday lives of the criminal underlings they’re out to capture.

“Sicario is a series of unexpected action setpieces that’ll blow you away with little remorse�

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If anything, you’ll be craving to see more after the film’s brutally honest (and equally petrifying) final act, in which Del Toro secures his place as a deadlock for the awards season come New Year; his character perfectly encompassing the sympathetic yet terrifying portrayal of this dog-eat-dog world as a man with nothing left to lose but a handful of bullets. Almost topping his performance is the work of 12-time Oscar-nominee Roger Deakins, who may finally earn that golden statue for the film’s breathtaking cinematography, depicting the vast Mexican landscape as an unforgiving wasteland of dashed dreams and theatrical gang warfare. With a spectacular cast and meticulous direction, Sicario is as thought provoking as it is beautifully barbarous; a contemporary war thriller that is neither right or wrong – rather, it’s outstanding. More like this: Traffic (2000) ZoÍ Godden

Crimson Peak (15)

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irector Joe Wright’s attempt to reinvigorate Peter Pan flourishes at points, but ultimately flops. Peter (Levi Miller) is inappropriately given a south London accent that drops every ‘T’, when J.M. Barrie surely intended him to have a perfectly posh persona. The film inexplicably leads you to empathise with villain Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman), yet at other times mandates that you feel the complete opposite. He promises to reward children with ‘confectionary’, but moments later forces them to walk the plank. Peter’s roommates, having been usurped from Lambert Boys’ Home by pirates on a giant floating ship, arrive in a pixie dust mine in Neverland. As the ship enters the children are afforded a pirate rendition of ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’, a song that is hard to tie into film’s wartime setting, though perhaps Wright inadvisably intended this as some kind of magical nirvana. ‘Is this Canada!?’, Peter questioned. The film is saved by several creative forces. John Powell’s soundtrack, stunning visual effects, Garrett Hedlund’s American rough-guy portrayal of James Hook and the breath-taking costumes of the natives, especially Princess Tiger Lily (Rooney Mara), counterbalance the film’s abrasiveness. Peter’s self-determination grows throughout the film, until at just the right moment, he is able to fly and rescue himself, Hook and Tiger Lily, not to mention the Fairy Kingdom. His journey to find his mother (Amanda Seyfried) is an emotional one, yet ends with a cringey scene where a tearful Peter proclaims that he ‘thinks about [his mother] every day’, to a look of maternal shock: ‘Really!?’. We didn’t really need a prequel to Peter Pan, but even if we did then Wright’s attempt at creating one is farfetched and unrelatable. A surprisingly dramatic soundtrack and visual effects make-up for a film otherwise devoid of that magical touch.

’m sorry if this sounds like a feminist rant to some of you, but I don’t think that you can watch this film without getting angry for these women. Suffragette is an amazing film that explores the suffrage movement from the view of the workingclass women who took part, and who had typically more to lose than their upper-class counterparts. These women were the foot-soldiers of the fight and it’s brilliant that a film has finally been made about them. This film tells the story of how joining the suffrage movement affected the lives of Maud Watts (Carey Mulligan) and Violet Miller (Ann-Marie Duff ). Through their characters, we see the struggle that these women suffered daily through a lack of legal rights – domestic abuse, no financial independence, no rights over their own children (by law, children belonged to their father) and even sexual abuse in the workplace. Nothing much was done to help these women from men taking advantage of their vulnerability. While some scenes are quite uncomfortable and harrowing to watch, this only highlights the importance of the struggle to get the vote for women and how far they were willing to go to make this happen. Women had demonstrated peacefully for years but no-one listened, and after watching this film, I completely understand why they went so far. Suffragette is powerful and doesn’t sugar-coat the treatment of the eponymous heroines, you see what happened to them, the conditions they were forced to suffer, and while at times this was hard to watch, it’s actually one of the best things about the film. It might sound a bit clichÊ, but this film is a must-see, for understanding a vital part of our history, and the struggle that is still going on in the world today.

uillermo del Toro is back with a new film, this time it is a gothic romance, but in his true style there is more gothic than romance. Just in time for Halloween, we are gifted with a complex ghost story. It follows Edith Cushing (Mia Wasikowska), a budding writer who also has the ability to see the dead, as she falls for and marries the mysterious Sir Thomas Sharpe (Tom Hiddleston). She moves to dilapidated mansion in Cumberland, England which he also shared with his rather morbid sister, Lady Lucille Sharpe (Jessica Chastain). Chastain mesmerises as the dark and complicated Lucille. This role sees her enter a dark and morose psyche which has you at some points feeling suspicious of her and at others feeling intense empathy. Wasikowska and Hiddleston portray the leads with great success. Their whirlwind romance has you gripped to the screen for the full two hour running time. A major strong point on this film is its use of melodrama. The gothic romance is inherently melodramatic, but del Toro executes it perfectly so that it is not overdone, rather it leaves you wanting more. Another highlight of this film is its liberal use of practical effects. All of the sets were handcrafted and there is not an overreliance on CGI. This juxtaposes against the fantastical elements of the story with great success. One of the extremely few flaws in this film is that it could be slightly predictable in parts if you are well versed in the folklore on which it is based, but even then it is still a wonderful piece of cinema that keeps you in the dark for much of its running time. Crimson Peak is a feat of cinema once again from the ridiculously talented Guillermo del Toro. With a move back to the style of his Spanish language films such as Pan’s Labyrinth, this surely does not disappoint.

More like this: Hook (1991)

More like this: Hunger (2008)

More like this: The Devil’s Backbone (2001)

Francis Williams

Katie Read

Emma Allsopp

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e have the genre-dodging, brain-bending cult classic, Donnie Darko. From then debutant filmmaker Richard Kelly, it stars a young Jake Gyllenhaal as the titular character, a paranoid schizophrenic yet brilliant high-school teenager. After being saved from death by a falling jet engine by his imaginary friend, a man in a giant demented rabbit costume called Frank, Donnie is alerted to a doomsday prophecy set to unfold on Halloween night. Donnie’s visions of Frank cause him to upset the equilibrium of his quaint Virginia town, revealing that there is more to the colourful cast of characters than meets the eye.

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e honour the efforts of 9 sequels to the great John Carpenter’s classic, Halloween. That’s Halloween: II, III, 4, 5, The Curse of Mike Myers, H20 (wtf right?), Resurrection, and then reboots of the first two films. This franchise has been vomited onto screens worldwide for the past 25 years, without ever recapturing the terror and trend-setting thrills of the original, quintessential Halloween horror movie. The best that can be said about the sequels is that they’ve hosted some great actors over the years, featuring turns from Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasance, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and‌Busta Rhymes? Luckily, this year it was announced that the franchise will continue with a new instalment. Like Myers himself, they just won’t die.

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or this I’ve chosen 2014’s The Guest, starring a hunkified Dan Stevens (the onceplump teddy bear from Downton Abbey). What begins as a mystery, when Stevens’ character inexplicably enters the life of a typical American family who’ve suffered a great loss, sharply turns into a thriller-cum-horror. The film’s climax takes place in a Halloween fun house set up for a school dance, complete with hall of mirrors (Scaramanga not included). To plainly say why this film deserves the title of ‘ugly’ may be flying too close to a spoiler-y sun, but rest assured, not even diners are safe. William Leng

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’m afraid to tell you that this has been bubbling for a good few years now and I think it’s time to just let it out: I’m literally so done with The X Factor. It’s taken me a while to get to the point of admittance. The X Factor is one of those shows you just can’t avoid; everyone and their neighbour seems to have an opinion on it and you can’t even touch the internet around each episode. ‘You wouldn’t believe this guy…’ I see on a regular basis. Well, actually I would, because I saw someone basically identical to him on last year’s series. You see, this is the major problem with The X Factor Factor: no longer is it about contestants, but it’s more about

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Take your inspiration from The Office and rip off any one of Jim Halpert’s notoriously terrible Halloween costumes. A white shirt, a tie, and an eyeliner pencil are all you need to pull off the classic ‘Bookface’ costume of Series 6. Accessorise with a floppy haircut, then pick a girl at the party to stare at wistfully for the entire night. If you find true love this way, write into The Courier and let us know. Please don’t contact us if she thinks you’re stalking her and has you arrested; there are better uses for your one phone call.

<)(39 If you’re forcing your friends to participate in a group costume, you have to go all out. Cartoon characters are always a favourite, and offer a valuable opportunity to ruin a few childhoods on October 31st – nothing like seeing a PowerPuff Girl grinding with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle to obliterate any happy memories of simpler times. Otherwise, break out your orange/beige pyjamas and go for Orange is the New Black.. Draw lots to decide which loser has to be Piper.

$72=()2'1 Who among us doesn’t want to dress up as Daenerys Targaryen and her three dragon backing-singers for Halloween? Some people, and I’m not sure who they are or where they find this sort of dedication when I can’t even bring myself to get out of my pyjamas before 2pm, actually plan costumes more than a week in advance. If you’re one of these people, you don’t need my help. You’ve probably already ordered your custom-made blonde wig and real, flapping dragon wings from an obscure Etsy shop.

>?0377@#A344@ Would it make your grandad chuckle? That’s the key question to be asking, when it comes to crappy pun costumes. Grab some devil horns and a frying pan: Hell’s Kitchen. Wear a red t-shirt, staple a ‘Netflix’ symbol somewhere on your body, and grab a woolly hat and parka. BAM: Netflix and chill. You’re welcome. Even better, you get to laugh at all the people running round town in freezing temperatures dressed as ‘Sexy Spongebob’.

62*'#B&43'1 The Walking Dead. Rip up your clothes, dab on a little designer dirt and douse yourself liberally in fake blood and greenish face paint. Even better if you can find a more organised friend to throw on a cowboy hat, a beige shirt and a sheriff ’s star and play the Rick Grimes to your shuffling solider of the undead army. Shuffle around the party with a vacant expression, groaning softly every now and then. Works even better if you’re still hungover from the night before.

The Courier

characters. Each year, without fail, you’re going to get such clichés like, ‘the slightly-more-inclinedto-rock guy’, ‘the “you-don’t-know-how-goodyou-really-are” girl’ and of course, ‘the sob story’. Yes, I will admit that the infamous ‘sob story’

“By dedicating a full fifteen minute segment to a sob story on the first audition, you just know that this one is going to end up in the final, crying about how they could never have expected to get that far given the impact that *insert tragedy* has had on their lives.” appears on just about every talent show, but The X Factor has really perfected it. By dedicating a full fifteen minute segment to a sob story on the first audition, you just know that this one is going to end up in the final, crying about how they could never have expected to get that far given the impact that *insert tragedy* has had on their lives. The X Factor is really that predictable. There hasn’t been a real shock since Calvin Harris burst on stage with a pineapple on his head whilst Jedward performed (words I never thought I’d type). Even with every change of panel, I fail to find any excitement. The latest, Nick Grimshaw, Rita Ora, Cheryl Fernandez-Versini and Simon Cowell, doesn’t seem to be making much of an impact. To put it plainly using wor Cheryl’s hit, ‘I Don’t Care’. Watching The X Factor these days is like a

chore: from the live auditions to bootcamp to judges’ houses, I couldn’t care less who got through because in the end, it’s not up to the judges who go through; it all merely depends on who fits the correct role. To add insult to all of this injury, Dermot and Peter ‘RACHEL ADADEJI’ Dickson left the show this year. Now, when two staples like that jump ship, the writing is on the wall. Many have come and gone over the years: Nicole Scherzinger, Tulisa and even the man himself, Gary Barlow, but all have failed to give the show any real longevity. The problem is not with the presenters or the judges, but it’s with the extremely dated format. Now, don’t be too sad, X Factor; just like relationships, hairstyles and that dubious packet of

“There hasn’t been a real shock since Calvin Harris burst on stage with a pineapple on his head whilst Jedward performed (words I never thought I’d type)” ham at the back of the fridge, everything eventually gets outdated. Look at Deal or No Deal or Hole in the Wall: ace shows that got very old, very quickly. It’s just the way that TV works. Sorry X Factor, but you just don’t have that certain ‘x factor’ any more. Just head out of those double doors behind you, Dermot will be there with a very damp shoulder and a big strong hug. It’s a no from me.

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ho wouldn’t miss childhood? Laying down on the lounge carpet, you’d peer your pudgy little face at your father, reclined in his armchair with the question of the cost of TV and other ‘fun stuffs’. He’d smile with a twinkle in his eye and say ‘in time’ before settling back to his paper. You thought no more of it. But the time has now come: you get sucked into the abyss of adulthood and it dawns that the prophesied time your father spoke of is now. And it’s shit. ‘Fun stuffs’ cost money and to glance upon a telly broadcasting live shows sets you back a whopper of £145.50 a year. So it sets in that not only does the fate of your student maintenance depend on avoiding paying this out-dated, extortionate fee but the sake of nostalgia also as you desperately cling onto the warmth and security of ‘freeness’. It appears everything is encouraging you on this path, getting out of coughing up is even quoted as the “ultimate life hack” by MoneySavingExpert so it really does pay not to pay for this.

“A key feature that no one seems to bring up is the fact it’s a flat rate, non-income adjusted fee, for anyone who wants to use a telly the way it was originally intended. Get on your bike mate.”

The legislation is pretty clear on whether you should pay; if you watch live telly (TV as it’s being broadcast) or record live telly to watch later (on a Sky+ or a TiVo box) on any device then non-payment of your television licence results in a criminal offence and a hefty fine. But here’s your saving grace – if you watch live shows on a catch-up service after they’re broadcast – be it an hour afterwards or a week afterwards – then old Auntie Beeb doesn’t see a single dime of your money as the legislation only counts on any direct interaction with

live telly. Bangin’. This throwback to childhood is easy to avoid so long as you’re watertight with your convictions as the fine of £1000 and a criminal offence probably aren’t the best playmates to your degree. Although the additional money saving incentive is extremely appealing for someone with a penchant for expensive gin, it’s hard for me to be in complete support of scrapping a licensing fee altogether for although I can actively support the advert-free quality of entertainment produced by the Beeb over the whole of my childhood, I can’t really dispute just how out-dated it has become. When it was first introduced, there was one sum to pay, finito. Now with extras such as Sky, Netflix and Amazon Prime, that cost suddenly skyrocketed it’s no wonder that people are starting to grumble. Additionally a key feature that no one seems to bring up is the fact it’s a flat rate, non-income adjusted fee, for anyone who wants to use a telly the way it was originally intended. Get on your bike mate. With the exception of modern classic series such as The Great British Bake Off, Doctor Who

and The Apprentice, does anything really command the same hype as slick Netflix shows such as Orange is the New Black and House of Cards which you can binge watch at the touch of a button? Or if paying for things as great as telly still brings a tear to your eye as the thought of your father and his paper, treat yourself to the luxury of watching things just minutes after they’re broadcast.

The Courier

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A The Affair

Sky Atlantic, Wednesday, 9pm

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f you haven’t seen it, The Affair chronicles the growing relationship between two people and the troubles that arise within and between their families. The setup is fairly familiar – struggling writer Noah (played by Dominic West) and troubled waitress Alison (played by Ruth Wilson) find themselves drawn to each other but cause a hefty amount of destruction in coming together. What makes The Affair different from other shows is the fact it uses unconventional narrative techniques – the titular affair is recounted through flashbacks in a police interview, as the primary characters were related to a death in some manner. Furthermore, these flashbacks are affected by memory bias, so seeing different versions of certain events is quite common. Sometimes, these narratives can be astoundingly divergent from each other, which leads the audi-

ence to question what they’re supposed to believe. The technique is certainly interesting, although it means an objective version of events is hard to ascertain. In some cases, where the events are virtually the same but there are some slight differences, it’s a strong asset of the show. The uncertainty of events and questionable nature of the characters adds spice to the drama, we have to work to ascertain the truth. However, when versions of the same event are too drastically different the show begins to feel as though it has two parallel narratives, as opposed to two perspectives of the same story. It could very much complicate season two and any subsequent seasons of the show also. Think of the butterfly effect – changing the past slightly can forge a very different future. Season two will, however, feature the story from the perspective of the spouses of Noah and Alison Helen (played by Maura Tierney) and Cole (played by Joshua Jackson) respectively. This is a risky gambit from the show runners as adding another two perspectives could allow for four significantly different versions of the same story with little overlap,

Scream Queens

The Middle

E4, Monday, 10pm

Comedy Central, Tuesday, 9pm

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rom the creators of hit shows Glee and American Horror Story it is inevitable that certain hype surrounds the latest show to come to E4. Scream Queens is set in the Kappa Kappa Tau sorority house of Wallace University and boasts an all-star cast including Lea Michelle, Emma Roberts and Jaime Lee Curtis. The show mixes teen cliques with murder for what Jaime Lee Curtis has described as ‘A social statement about who we are as a society right now and what are priorities are or aren’t’. If you have ever wanted to see what would happen if Regina George went to university, watch this show. Chanel (played by Emma Roberts) comes out with the most ferocious and controversial lines imaginable, in typical Regina style, which makes the show hilarious from start to finish. They are almost as shocking as the horror scenes, which intersperse the plot. She plays a brilliant anti-hero and the acting is actually very convincing and the level of talent from the cast animates the script. The horror is tongue in cheek but it’s also funny and unpredictable. This show doesn’t have the same depth as its older sister, American Horror Story, but it is equally as captivating and arguably will appeal to a wider audience as it has a less serious edge and the comedy subdues the horror scenes to make it slightly more accessible for the faint hearted. Perfect for a whole flat watch because there really is something for everyone. Take a shot for every scream, drink for every camera zoom in of eyes glaring and down your drink if you are the last to spot the red devil. This show won’t let you down. Meg Long

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he Middle is back, premiering its 7th series. The Hecks are your typical everyday working-class family living in the Midwestern state of Indiana. The show follows Frankie Heck, portrayed by Everybody Loves Raymond star, Patricia Heaton and Mike Heck, played by Neil Flynn who is best known for his role as the Janitor on TV sitcom, Scrubs. Together with their three kids, lazy and cynical Axl (Charlie McDermott), adorkable teenager Sue (Eden Sher) and intelligent, although quirky Brick (Atticus Shaffer), they deal with the day to day struggles of family life. Last series was ‘The year of Sue’ as we followed Sue through her final year of high school, attempting to reach that all familiar goal of a lasting high school legacy, as well as balancing a part-time job in order to save up enough money to go to college. Meanwhile, both Axl and Brick found themselves in romantic relationships. Axl gets serious with girlfriend, Devin (Gia Mantegna), Brick tries to survive his last year of Middle school and Sue is off to college. On the biggest day of socially awkard Sue Heck’s life- what could possibly go wrong? Emmy nominated and winner of Gracie Award in 2011 for Outstanding Comedy series, The Middle is truly an undiscovered gem. If you like Modern Family, then you are bound to enjoy The Middle, a more representative portrayal of the average family. It is one of the best and most realistic family comedies around, dealing with the common hardships of financial troubles, college life and teenage relationships. Lena El-sheikh

which would be quite confusing. Though, more perspectives should mean that the objective truth should be easier to determine in regards to the central events. With more perspectives involved, details should come up in multiple versions, increasing the chances of that being what we should believe has happened. If nothing else, we should also get more exploration of the psychology of the central characters and the world in which they live. Narrative techniques aside, The Affair is a pretty solid show, the acting is strong. With the addition of Helen and Cole’s perspectives, we should get to see Tierney and Jackson do more with their characters and we’ll also probably get to see slightly different versions of Noah and Alison as the characters change. The drama builds well, as does the mystery, with the identity of the murderer being the biggest hook for season two. All in all, I recommend a fling with The Affair. Maybe you’ll become infatuated after a few episodes, then remain a faithful audience member for as long as it lasts. Dominic Corrigan

How to Get Away With Murder Universal, Wednesday, 10pm

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othing irks the collective student consciousness more than the wait for a new season of a show. Shonda Rhimes is no stranger to challenging our patience. On Grey’s Anatomy, she killed off more main characters than George R.R Martin and still kept going. Her newest tour de force, How to Get Away With Murder has proved that she’s not afraid to dwell in the dark psyche of the human mind, captivating her show’s audience with a slew of strong performances and a gripping story line. Murder’s first season gave us an insight to the college internship from hell, led by the awe-inspiring Emmy-Award winning performance of Viola Davis. The entire series focused on the development of the relation between Annalise Keating (Davis) and her five handpicked interns. Murder warped the minds of her flock, ending in a chilling twist of a climax. With season 2, Katie Findlay will return to play the character Rebecca Sutter, who was killed in the first season finale. Tom Verica will also appear in the season as the deceased Sam Keating, and will appear in flashbacks. It was also announced that Kendrick Sampson, from The Vampire Diaries will join the cast in the second season’s premiere. The season will follow the case of two adult adopted siblings, accused of killing their wealthy parents. Things will be as far from straightforward as they were last season, with each of the interns facing their own personal demons, as well as a fracturing relation with Annalise. The show’s new instalment is unlikely to suffer from ‘second season syndrome’ as Rhimes herself promises more twists turn and obviously, murder. Ritwik Sakar

h, Gotham. Season One of the show was just like the eponymous city: full of promise and potential, but on the edge of becoming something terrible, a complete cesspool. Some elements were really strong – Robin Lord Taylor’s Penguin was delightful. However, the Batman prequel tried to be too much. A police procedural, a mafia thriller, a superhero prequel, a psychological tale (and the list goes on) – the threads didn’t tie together properly, they were too different tonally and left fans completely baffled. To add to the confusion, Gotham juggled two different portrayals of the Batman mythos – the gritty, moralistic tone of Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy and the camper, more comical tone of the Batman films that preceded it. Season One wasn’t proof that this juxtaposition worked, in fact, it was quite the opposite. Now, I’m not saying that it was completely terrible; some episodes and plot-lines were actually really good, but overall the show didn’t seem to know how it felt about itself – and that being the case, what are we as the audience meant to make of it?

“When these characters commit their atrocities, it has an effect on the whole city. There are ripples through each story thread, so it feels like everyone’s a fish in the same pond” When I started Season Two, I expected the season to be weaker than it turned out to be, because of the reluctance that the show had to commit to one style. However, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Gotham seemed to have learned from its previous mistakes and reached a happy medium between the two styles I mentioned earlier. Kudos TV directors: comical, over-the-top villains doing brutal, horrible things – intensely camp characters (while their actions are anything but). And it’s the best decision that’s been made in regards to the show’s tone. It fits characters like The Penguin, The Riddler and Victor Zsasz perfectly, and these are the strongest villains, the strongest assets, that the show has. And of course, it sets the mood perfectly for Batman’s most vibrant, deadly and iconic enemy – The Joker. More than ever, Gotham is engaging and intense, wheeling out great episodes one after another. Season Two has been electrifying so far, with shock twists and interesting plot-lines. Cameron Monaghan’s excellent performance as Jerome (a possible Joker) has helped to set up this new atmosphere, and James Frain’s Theo Galavan makes an interesting big baddy – he’s ruthless, intelligent and playing a long game. In a way, he’s reminiscent of The Penguin last series, but that’s no bad thing. Villains are the core of Gotham, and this series, they’ve upped the ante.

“Gotham juggled two different portrayals of the Batman mythos the gritty, moralistic tone of Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy and the camper, more comical tone of the Batman films that preceded it” When these characters commit their atrocities, it has an effect on the whole city. There are ripples through each story thread, so it feels like everyone’s a fish in the same pond. The show knows what it is now, it makes jokes at its own expense (watch for Zaardon, then you’ll know what I mean). Whether or not Gotham will revert to its old habits remains to be seen, but now halfway through the second season, I remain hopeful that it’s a better show. Whether or not it made the changes we deserved, it’s made the changes it needed. Or to take a quote from the show itself – it’s a new day.

Dominic Corrigan

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7KH ¿ YH JRULHVW 0HPRU\ FDUG 8$&(9"6:+23+;()"1(%3<(=/3 ZHDSRQV LQ YLGHR $OLFH 5HGVKDZ!!/)30#0(#$41/05-20)%6$2&/$"$%&&'$"($"$-)5)/"(0&57+06)$8!0%6!&&6$2"3&9/0() JDPHV -DUHG /LDP 0RRUH!!"#$"$ %&&'$"($(!)$*)#($+",#$-".)#$ /01$%0.*$2/&.$%0.* 21'345'67")5-'+8'94"+-':!+)'+8';",< Many of our beloved gaming protagonists come equipped with a blade. From Link’s Master Sword to Ezio’s famous Hidden Blade, we’ve played them all. But none of them stand a chance in terms of gore and brutality when compared to Kratos’ Blades of Chaos. Forged by Ares, the God of War himself, these two razor-sharp blades slice through flesh and bone like a knife through butter. If gore at close proximity isn’t enough to justify their place on this list, the blades themselves are chained and seared into the flesh of Kratos, allowing for ranged combat.

=1'(>5?@*$+%'A$77-':B"*,5)< Now, I know what you’re thinking here, and you’re right: “execution kills” is not the name of a weapon. But, I figured an exception could be made here due to the nature of Hatred and its already controversial reception in the media. For those of you who don’t know, Hatred is an isometric third-person shooter that actively encourages you to murder innocent people as you run around dressed up as an Ozzy Osbourne tribute act. The execution kills aren’t just gory, they’re also uncomfortable to watch. Whether you disagree or agree with the content in Hatred, I don’t think anyone in their right mind has ever played through an execution kill and thought, “that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside”. So for that reason, execution kills

/1'345'6++#-*$?A':C5")'D$-$%&'0< If two plus two equals four, then it only makes sense that pitchfork plus shotgun equals Boomstick. Dead Rising 2 allows players to create some quite interesting special weapons, and the Boomstick is one of our favourites. What’s ultimately gratifying about the Boomstick is that you no longer have to make the decision between stab or shoot. Using the Pitchfork, you can spear zombies and hoist them into the air. Then, when you’re happy to put them out of their misery, the shotgun is there to finish off the job.

01'345'E"%?5,':!5",-'+8';",< The lancer quite easily justifies its place on this list when it comes to gore. When we think of weapon attachments, a few things come to mind: extended magazines or ACOG sights, for example. The lancer however utilises a far more brutal attachment - the chainsaw. Perfect for those situations where you find yourself in close combat, the chainsaw function makes cutting through an army of Locusts ever so slightly more gore-ious... (I’ll see myself out).

F1'G@%&'E"+H-',"I+,J,$##5)'B"* :K+,*"7'G+#L"*< When we think of gore in gaming we think of Mortal Kombat. The two simply go hand in hand. With so many different fatalities and weapons to choose from, MK could arguably have taken up this whole list. However, Lao’s Razor Rimmed Hat is perfect for a multitude of reasons, whether your needs require decapitation or just to slice your foe from head to toe, it’ll get the job done. So for that reason, we take our hat off to Kung Lao, and hope he doesn’t return the sentiment.

Image; Sasha Watt on Flickr

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oday I’ll be talking about a game fondly remembered from my childhood - The Simpson’s: Hit and Run. A favourite for children of all ages (adults included) this game allowed you to enter the world of The Simpsons. Playing as characters from the show, the player is given the opportunity to explore strange incidents going on in the city of Springfield, which are later revealed to be a small part of a larger alien conspiracy. The Simpsons: Hit and Run is good for people of all ages and I myself have spent many hours with my brother and friends playing single and multiplayer and learning how awful I really was at video games. Cars are unlocked at different levels and get more imaginative as the game goes along. It is hard to believe that so much can go on in a small suburban area, but this game is jam-packed with things to do. Rather than play the actual levels themselves, I used to enjoy em-

“It is hard to believe that so much can go on in a small suburban area, but this game is jam-packed with things to do.” bracing my inner road rage on the virtual screen by destroying other cars and running people over, none of which I would ever do in real life. There just seems something oddly satisfying about not really knowing what to do on this game, even after completing it numerous times. It can be picked up on a whim, and is a very easy way to pass a few hours and creates a vivid childhood memory. Set on seven levels, you can play as several different characters, although Homer does get a par-

ticular focus. The strange occurrences of this game are both enjoyable and fascinating. The Halloween-styled level is set at night-time and offers users the chance to view the game in the dark and adds a bit of a scare factor to this otherwise family-friendly hit. Available on Xbox and other game consoles, I remember this being loved by near enough all of my friends when it first came out and was just easy to turn to for fun. I was never much of a big game player, or even that much of a Simpson’s lover, but The Simpson’s Hit and Run was just so versatile and well-worth the buy. Overall, for a generation that was not consumed by technology as much as today, The Simpsons Hit and Run provided children with an escape from the world around them. If you’re a lover of easy games and enjoy playing multiplayer, this game is a true gem.

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first started playing Xenoblade 3D when it came out back in April, but for some reason I didn’t get much further than the opening segments. Now that its sort-of-but-not-exactly sequel Xenoblade Chronicles X is edging towards release, though, I’ve picked it up again in a bid to rush through its epic saga before the Wii U follow-up arrives. Having invested a few more hours into it, I’m not entirely sure how I wasn’t hooked the first time round. For those who don’t know, Xenoblade Chronicles is an action-RPG originally released on the Wii to critical acclaim. It follows the tale of Shulk, a young man whose home town is attacked by the robotic Mechon. Handily, he’s in possession of the Monado, a sword which is the only reliable way of harming the Mechon and which grants him visions of the future, so naturally he sets off on a quest for revenge which gradually spirals into a much grander saga. “Grand” is actually a pretty apt description for most things in Xenoblade. Everything from its sweeping soundtrack, the huge, majestic creatures you encounter and the world’s setting on the corpse of a long-dead, titanic god seems built to show off the game’s sheer size and spectacle. The smaller screen of the 3DS both helps and hinders this compared to the Wii original - whilst the cramped screen doesn’t give quite the same sense of scale in places, others areas look even more impressive with the 3D turned all the way up; Gaur Plains’ huge rocky outcrops stretching out from the distance or the hovering islands of Eryth Sea, for

instance. The main draw of Xenoblade, though, is its combat, which blends together action and real-time RPG mechanics extremely cleverly. You control a single member of the party, with two others lending automated assistance, and must use a combination of auto-attacks, “Arts” (your special moves) and a special “Talent Art” whose gauge is filled up by auto-attacking to dispose of your enemies. Arts can have a number of effects on enemies and often require co-ordination with your teammates to maximise their effects, meaning it’s important to keep an eye on what your allies are doing. Movement is also essential; some Arts deal more damage or additional effects when used from a certain angle, so it’s important to manoeuvre into the most effective position.

really ups the intensity of the already fast-paced battles as you rush to avert a sticky end. On top of all this, there are a myriad of other systems at play which heap more and more intricacy into proceedings, so much so that 500 words isn’t anywhere near enough to cover them properly. Suffice it to say, though, Xenoblade Chronicles really lives up to its reputation as one of the best RPGs of recent times - go out and get it today As Shulk would say, I’m really feeling it!

“The main draw of Xenoblade, though is its combat, which blends together action and real-time mechanics extremely cleverly.”

Shulk’s aforementioned visions also feed into the combat system. Occasionally, he may receive one mid-battle that tells you an enemy is about to pull off a particularly devastating attack. You’re then given about ten seconds to try and change the future by drawing the enemy’s attention to a more defensive character, incapacitating it or protecting your ally with an Art. It’s an ingenious system that

Image; carlexe on Flickr

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ilent Hill was a literal game-changer; its release in 1999 signalled a renaissance in the horror game genre and gamers everywhere discovered that they could be scared in ways they never had been before. This title and its sequels are psychological horror survival games with a third person view. The first four instalments of the series were beautifully executed by Team Silent within the Konami company. The following five were outsourced to other companies however and the drop in quality is painfully obvious.

“Pyramid Head gave me nightmares for weeks - I had just never expected a game to create anything as freaky looking as that�

For the sake of brevity I will talk about some of my favourite moments from the series - I remember the first time I played the original Silent Hill and I couldn’t believe how dark and foggy the atmosphere was due to the convincing 3D real time environments. The main character Harry Mason had only a flash light with limited illumination so half the time you would be walking around completely unaware of something incredibly creepy about to happen. Furthermore, during one of my first play sessions, the scene was set: I was home alone and had been playing for about half an hour, had just entered the Hospital and suddenly, there was a power cut in my house - all my lights went off but my TV and Playstation stayed on with Silent Hill blaring out. I was completely terrified but utterly enthralled at the same time. Thankfully the power cut ended pretty swiftly.

One of my personal favourite pieces of gameplay is in the second game, a new protagonist, James is searching for his wife Mary, whilst looking for a secret place he thinks she has alluded to in a letter Thus, he passes through an apartment complex and there encounters Pyramid Head - a humanoid monster whose head is basically a huge metal, pyramid-shaped helmet. Pyramid Head gave me nightmares for weeks - I had just never expected a game to create anything as freaky looking as that. It showed a progression in horror from games that used B-movie stylistic techniques to get in cheap jump-scares. Silent Hill respects your intellect as a player, and uses it to psyche you out. This is a unique blood-curdling kind of fear and is not to be underestimated. Believe me, you’re never quite as in control as you think you are. The latest taste of Silent Hill came in the form of a teaser trailer for what was going to be the next game, Silent Hills, through the demo title P.T. Silent Hills was going to be the first game in the canon to be in first person perspective. P.T.. was tantalisingly tense because the first person gameplay allowed you to feel more actively involved in the horror. As you walk down a corridor in a suitably deformed house, various supernatural and eerie events occur alarmingly and spontaneously and there are puzzles for you solve along the way. Sadly, Konami decided to pull the plug on Silent Hills (which had Guillermo Del Toro onboard no less!) less! and P.T became unavailable in the PS4 game store which is a total travesty. If Konami teamed the phenomenal horror from the first four games with a first person perspective, a beautifully frightening masterpiece might be born.

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Image; Scott Vandehey on Flickr

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0 Days is a PC port of a text-heavy steampunk adventure game loosely based on the Jules Verne novel, previously released on iOS and Android. Frankly, that sounds pretty bad. But I’m here to convince you, sincerely, that it’s one of the best adventure games I’ve ever played. Here goes. You are Passepartout, helping your master Fogg on his wager to get around the world in eighty days. You trade possessions, plan onward journeys and generally help your master navigate the world in typical adventure game fashion. As adventure game ‘gameplay’ goes, it’s pretty compelling, and the interface employed is fairly elegant and eyecatching. But games like this live or die on their writing, and scriptwriter Meg Jayanth’s work here is exceptional. This is where ‘steampunk’ comes in. This is an alternate history; everywhere you go you encounter miraculous anachronous technologies. What’s really impressive is not only that this isn’t jarring, but that Jayanth uses this shi shift to give voice and character to the regions you pass through. Instead of a homogenous empire you encounter all the cultures, climates, traditions and resistances of the colonial world dramatized with vivid intensity. It’s this that elevates 80 Days from the twee, insubstantial game it could have been, into the exemplary adventure game it is.

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Image; Reverb Labs on Flickr Image; aworldwithoutlogos on Flickr

At its heart, Fallout and its marginally more popular sequel Fallout 2 are your basic 90’s CRPGs mapped onto a beautifully idiosyncratic atompunk setting. Here, the sandblasted ruins of metropoles crane into the sky, paint-peeled American Foursquares crumbling quietly on the outskirts; there, Raiders dressed in scraps of prewar clothing held together by Mad Max leather bondage gear pick off hapless wanderers like yourself. When you see Fallout, you know it’s Fallout – hell, when you read Fallout you know it. Interplay’s legacy is well and truly secured, both in the gaming scene and the realm of science fiction as a whole. Arguably, the first games don’t hold up so well under the test of time. Things we take for granted now are entirely ab-

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("))*+,-5HWURVSHFWLYH8.9"#.:)!#'2*37.;#3'1 8.9"#.:)!#'2*37.;#3'1 ome things never change. War, as Ron Perlman has confidently asserted so many times, is one of them. But you wouldn’t know it for looking at Fallout, which as a series is unrecognisably different from its roots in its modern incarnations. But the spirit is still there: you, a lonesome and precocious nobody, must travel across the post-nuclear hellscape of a world torn asunder by war meeting (and murdering) all kinds of strange and exotic creatures and characters, and shaping the destiny of the places you visit for years to come. It’s a concept which, by now, we’re used to, but at the time of Fallout’s release in 1997 it was incredibly unique. Well, except for Wasteland (1988) but we’ll follow in Interplay’s footsteps and forget about that.

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sent, such as an uncluttered HUD and a vaguely comprehensible inventory system, and the pacing feels ludicrously slow compared to its later, more action-oriented incarnations. But for nostalgia factor alone, or even for newer die-hard fans of the series, Interplay’s Fallout games are worth a look. You’ll get shivers during the opening cinematic, because there’s nobody who wouldn’t

“When you see Fallout, you know it - hell, when you read Fallout you know it. Interplay’s legacy is well and truly secured�

be shaken to the core as the camera backs out of a crackling TV set cycling through decades-old news reports and adverts to reveal a barren, silent city utterly devoid of life as The Ink Spots’ brilliant ‘Maybe’ plays soulfully over the top. What Fallout does best, and perhaps better than any other series, is communicate apocalyptic scale with genuine subtlety and meaning; the exquisite combination of deadpan black comedy, unrelenting body horror and terror, and the kind of muted melancholy that wastelands intrinsically offer is a cocktail that is never cloying, and never gets in its own way despite the huge disparity of its components. Fallout 1 and 2 are much more than the progenitors to Bethesda and Obsidian’s later takes on the series, which we’ll be looking at in the next couple of weeks (and completely ignoring Brotherhood of Steel and Tactics, naturally); they are genre-defining classics in their own right. It’s what drew people to them in their heyday, it’s what will keep drawing fans back to them for years to come, and most of all it’s what makes them S.P.E.C.I.A.L. Yeah, I’m starting and ending on the same pun. Sue me.

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ICE’s beta of the reboot for Star Wars: Battlefront hosted more than 9 million people, in its fleeting existence. Over 10 years aft a er the childhood-defining original, EA’s team and their undeniably glamorous Frostbite 3 engine had a lot to repent if their biggest beta release ever was to bomb. The E3 showcased Hoth-based Walker Assault was the spotlighted feature of the beta. It is the glittering snow in the trenches, the sharp audio and the strategically crafted terrain of Hoth’s map, the scrupulous attention to detail, that makes it the talking point. Complaints have been made saying the Empire are gifted with an advantage because of the juggernaut AT-ATs. Yet, it is easy enough to tow cable your way to victory in one of the X-wings or A-wings, if the opportunity arises. Pick-ups pop up sporadically, including the most wanted Hero pick-up, which transforms the player in to either Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader. It is easy to rack up kills as Vader in tighter confines of the map and corridors of the Rebel base, but in the larger expanse of the mountains it can be quite difficult. The Gears of War style active reload/cooldown is a nice touch, making timing imperative in the intensity of shootouts and hindering any runand-gun strategists. Other than the Walker Assault there is a Survival mode, which is a 5 wave onslaught, set on Tatooine (the full game will be 15 waves and a map set on every planet) and another Headquarters style game. These seem a little bit filler for what was meant to be the main feature of the beta. With only one month left to wait, the verdict of Battlefront is resoundingly positive. Even though it is only a slither of the available game that has been showcased, it seemed that DICE gave away so much and left punters begging for more.

Image; Star Wars Battlefront

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Monday 26 October 2015

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7$4$8"98$/ Obviously, humans cannot literally transform into a wolf whenever a full moon rises but there are two well documented medical conditions that could convince people otherwise. The first is hypertrichosis, which is characterised by excessive hair growth. The patient’s entire body can be covered in a thick layer of hair, affecting women as often as men. The condition has a genetic cause but can also be acquired later in life as a symptom of other conditions including cancer and anorexia. The hair of a person with hypertrichosis is thicker than on a gorilla, which makes the scientists believe that the gene that causes it is at least 25 million years old. In addition, an individual may acquire a delusional disorder known as clinical lycanthropy in which they truly believe they can transform into an animal. They have vivid hallucinations or false memories of the event and they may engage in animal-like behaviours such as growling, howling, walking on all fours and changing their diet. It’s a pretty unlikely combination but it’s entirely possible that a person could live quite happily into their adult life and then begin to grow hair all over their body, followed by episodes of disturbingwolf-like behaviour.

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A 1998 paper by neurologist Dr Juan Gómez-Alonso managed to link numerous aspects of the vampire legend to sufferers of rabies. Firstly, one sure fire way to catch the condition is to have a run in with an infected bat or wolf. Once the disease sets in, it begins to affect your brain in various ways, sometimes causing you to seek lots of sexual activity (much like the hypnotic vampires of 1970s cinema) or simply bite people who get in your way. Rabies can also make you hypersensitive to a number of stimuli including direct sunlight and strong odours like that of garlic, meaning you’re probably going to be sleeping during the day and avoiding escargots at all costs. If vampires exist, they are definitely not human. Human organism doesn’t tolerate drinking blood due to high does of iron. Therefore, self-identified vampires risk haemochromatosis (iron overdose), which may lead to a number of diseases.

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The modern zombie is a lot more versatile than the image that was first popularised in 20th century film and literature. Nowadays a zombie might be the victim of an infection or chemical weapon but the shambling corpses of old school horror movies stem from the black magic of Haitian and West African folklore. A theory proposed in the 1980s by American botanist Wade Davis offered a frightening suggestion of how a person could indeed seemingly die and come back to life. A carefully measured amount of tetrodotoxin (pufferfish venom) can induce a deathlike state that could fool any skilled doctor. The heart rate and breathing slow down to an undetectable level and so the victim is pronounced dead and subsequently buried. The zombie’s master can then exhume the body in secret a few days later and administer a poison from flowers known as Datura or angel’s trumpets, which permanently damages brain function resulting in delirium and suggestibility. The victim is now a mindless, shambling slave.

In 2004, toxicologist Albert Donnay wrote of Mr and Mrs H who moved into their house in 1912 and soon began hearing footsteps, slamming of doors and pots and pans crashing in the kitchen. There were cold patches in the air and they felt as though they were being watched. Mrs H sometimes saw a woman in black in her mirror and once awoke paralysed with two eerie figures sitting at the foot of the bed. Even her young son woke up one night screaming “Don’t let that big fat man touch me”. Interestingly though, many of the family’s potted plants began to die, Mrs H complained of headaches and the children were “pale and listless”. A thorough inspection of the house revealed that their furnace was leaking the odourless gas, carbon monoxide, which binds with red blood cells much more readily than oxygen does. The subsequent oxygen deprivation leads to fatigue, headaches, delirium and auditory a n d visual hallucinations. Donnay believes that this is why ghost sightings were particularly frequent in the Victorian era, when the use of gas lamps was widespread.

“One sure fire way to catch the condition is to have a run in with an infected bat or wolf ”

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.K. Rowling may have you believe that invisibility cloaks are only for boy wizards and Ford Anglia cars, but how far away is science from granting us mere muggles access to the restricted section of the Robinson Library? Well, one team of researchers at the University of California, Berkeley seem to be well on there way to developing an unseeable fabric. An ultra-thin material they have developed can not only make a 3D object seem like a flat surface to the human eye, but can also change the appearance of the contours of the object to create a different shape all together. This magic is due to the thousands of nano-dots woven into the material. When optical light falls on the dots, the waves are reflected in specific directions, making the object appear flat. Of course, this is not true invisibility. While the cloak can make an object appear flat or a different shape, it can’t make the subject seem to fully disappear (it’s also less than a millimetre in length!).

“This magic is due to the thousands of nano-dots woven into the material. When optical light falls on the dots, the waves are reflected in specific directions, making the object appear flat.” Not to be disheartened, however, one beautifully languid application has already been suggested by its creator, Xiang Zhang. He said: “One application might be in cosmetics. You can imagine if someone has a fat belly, like me, and he wants to look nice, he could put this layer on and it will look like a six pack.” Zhang and his team aren’t the only scientists

trying to sneak down to Hagrid’s hut after hours. Across the other side of the wizarding world, at the Zhejiang University in Hangzhou, China, a research team recently made another significant step on the path to invisibility.

“The cloak channelled the radiation waves from the heated toy mouse, around itself, and then bent them back into straight lines for a thermal imaging camera, so the rays appear to travel through the ‘mouse’ – making it invisible.” Using the element Germanium, the scientists created a cloak to shield a toy mouse from infrared radiation. Although invisible itself to the human eye, all animals emit infrared radiation as heat, which can be detected by thermal imaging cameras and certain animals - such as snakes. The cloak channelled the radiation waves from the heated toy mouse, around itself, and then bent them back into straight lines for a thermal imaging camera, so the rays appear to travel through the ‘mouse’ – making it invisible. While this cloak could come in handy when fighting a basilisk, practical applications could include more covert operations, such as hiding soldiers and tanks from infrared detection. Of course, all these technologies are years away from real world use, never mind supermarket shelves. So in the meantime, if the need to bypass a three-headed dog arises, a harp may be a more practical option.

Illustration by Petra Szeman

The Courier

Monday 26 October 2015

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echnology has always fascinated the arts, permeating the imaginaries of artists throughout the centuries and culminating in the creation of an entire genre of work which seeks to examine what technology has already achieved, speculate upon what it could possibly achieve in the future, and largely express anxieties surrounding the possible ramifications of humankind’s steps into the unknown. Science fiction: a fundamental component of late 19th century literature, which has in the post-millennial moment transmogrified into a capitalist wet dream, an industry of dreams, fears and aspirations. Sci-Fi’s matriarch, Mary Shelley, and her ‘hideous progeny’, Frankenstein, of course provide a stellar example of the genre; a cautionary tale written partly at a holiday retreat using the relatively innovative science of electricity to construct a story of monstrous proportions (geddit?). However, had Shelley’s magnum opus been written in the 60s, 70s or even 80s it is more than likely to have been concerned with a nuclear creature, rather than an electric one? Comic books follow suit: heroes introduced in the nuclear age often had powers of radiation, and indeed Spiderman’s powers have been given to him by many different breeds of genetically modified or radioactive arachnids. Further still the TMNT bunch have gone from being doused in suspicious purple ooze to be engineered by biochemists in order to become walking, talking, quipping bio-ninjas. It’s a staple of any good book based on science, that the imaginative aspect always gravitates towards newer, less understood technologies, giving the author greater artistic license to envision what could happen. Of course there is always tension between the innovative and the ancient; Frankenstein for instance is hailed ‘The New Prometheus’. So named after the Titan who gave fire to us lowly

humans, both unfortunate protagonists granted the world ‘technological advancement’. Sadly, both were rather harshly punished and if you listen really closely you can hear the shrieks of the fictitious proto-communist having his liver pecked out by crows every single day (apparently).

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These stories, however radically new they may tend to feel (I’m looking at you Ex Machina) are always underpinned by a nagging sense of worry, of imminent collapse or global catastrophe.

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t’s already this time of the year when Tesco sells two pumpkins for £3, you can buy tacky devil horns everywhere and yet another Paranormal Activity came out. To celebrate it, I decided to pursue the petrifying truth behind the horror flicks and why we enjoy them. Even if you hate horrors and the creepiest thing you’ll encounter this Halloween will be a half-dressed angel shimmying in the cage in Sinners, you might still want to check if some of this science is at work. What constitutes the horrors’ allure? The truth is that... we don’t know. We don’t know how our brains work and scientific explanations are often contradictory. When you watch horrors, your heartbeat rises by up to fifteen beats per minute, blood pressure spikes, muscles tense, palms sweat and skin temperature drops. That is because our brains have not adapted to the new technology. Even though we know that the image is not real, the brain reacts as if it was you being chased by a maniac with a mechanic saw. And that’s the horror paradox- why do we find this fear enjoyable? One explanation says that it is in male nature to try to master dangerous situations. It was terrifying rituals in the primal tribes and enduring a particularly gore film now- but not only guys enjoy horrors. Other studies explained that watching gore films might be a way of dealing with actual fears and violence- but how many of us have woken up in a cubic cell filled with booby traps? There are more disturbing theories out there but I decided to go with the simplest and least

Which brings us to our next SciFi tenet: a cautionary element to the tale. These stories, however radically new they may tend to feel (I’m looking at you Ex Machina) they are always underpinned by a nagging sense of worry, of imminent collapse or global catastrophe. From Shelley’s original masterpiece to diluted reincarnations of overdone superheroes, technological advancement in the arts does usually come with a warning – a what if? With that in mind, can we now begin to conceive of a productive relationship between the arts and science, or the consideration that it takes a creative mind to drive technological innovation? If this perhaps takes it too far, what it definitely does allow for is hypothetical questioning of what should, would and could happen if, and what is increasingly likely, when the technologies in question come to fruition. Science fiction then becomes a sort of collective cultural contemplation which allows us to question: do we really want people powered by negative energy, time paradoxes, or – best of all – superpowers?

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hen the end of term approaches and our student bank account figures dwindle, it is common for many of us to crave mum’s home cooked meals. This is due to the fact that tea time often consists of a pack of noodles, or toast with a bowl of cereal once in a while, to provide some variation in the otherwise repetitive menu. However, the majority of students wouldn’t crave eating hair, faeces, or cigarette butts as a replacement for their mundane student meals. Objects such as those mentioned above are daily choices for consumption by those with Pica. Pica is the continuous eating of non-nutritional items over a period of at least a month. The term for this eating habit anomaly originated from the Latin word for magpie, possibly named after the bird’s unusual eating habits. Pica is more common amongst young children in comparison to adults, as between 10% and 32% of children ages 1 to 6 have these behaviours, according to the U.S National Library of Medicine. The causes of this unusual disorder can vary: from individuals who yearn for the textures and flavours of inedible items, to the effects of other conditions such as schizophrenia. However, pica is most often the result of iron deficiency, anaemia. As a result of these causes, people with pica frequently eat soil, sponges and ice to name a few and some have even claimed to have eaten light bulbs, needles and bricks. Treatment plans for pica generally

involve providing a supplement for mineral deficiencies and addressing any psychological issues through therapy, as well as medical tests such as x-rays which may lead to surgery. Having said all this, it may come as a surprise to you that in some cultures, the consumption of pica substances is acceptable. In some rural areas of India ladies eat clay, ash and charcoal in response to pregnancy cravings and some ethnic groups in Tanzania relate the eating of soil to fertility, although I wouldn’t recommend it.

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4-.51-6137&14&&,81 9:;2<=>?@=A<= Experiencing a surge of delight in the event of another’s misfortune, misery or failure is a rather malicious emotion epitomised by the German word ‘Schadenfreude’. Finding amusement in another’s adversity can give us a strange sense of euphoria, which scientists have attempted to understand through various studies. The social comparison theory is the notion that when people around us experience bad luck, we look better in contrast. In a slightly more technical experiment, it was found that the ventral striatum and other brain reward centres were activated when the subject was informed that a person they envied had suffered a misfortune of some form. Another study linked the feeling with the hormone oxytocin which was inhaled through the nose, enhancing feelings of schadenfreude, upon the failure of an opponent. So the next time you experience that wicked rush of joy at someone’s misery, remember it’s just science. Louise Bingham

alarming one. Horrors are popular because they make our hearts race. Our nervous system is like a muscle that needs some exercise, for example jumping out of your seat when the serial killer appears behind the protagonist’s back. Young people tend to crave strong emotions more, which explains the demographic of the horror flicks. However, it might apply to anyone living a relatively uneventful life. Film is often described as an “ultimate artistic medium� that engages us completely- like dreaming. And the pleasure is a catharsis, the relief because we know it’s not real. You have probably noticed that horrors are getting more and more extreme, up to the point that the phrase torture porn was coined to refer to series like Saw. That is because exposure to violence in media desensitises you- if you were shocked by something in the past, you need something even more gore to be shocked again. However, all brains work differently. Some people crave more excitement, on others horrors might have a lingering effect. There are plenty of cases when people experience nightmares and anxieties years after watching a horror flick, especially if it happened when they were under the age of fourteen. That’s because sometimes memories of horror films are stored in amygdala- the part of brain responsible for emotions. They are treated like any other trauma and might be as hard to cope with. Therefore, if you feel that horrors might not be your thing, think twice about going to this cinema date. Spending Halloween night eating pumpkin pie or dancing the night away in Tiger might just be more likely to make you happy.

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The Courier

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Monday 26 October 2015

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he Nobel Prizes are arguably the world’s most prestigious set of awards, recognising the most influential advances in science, culture and academia. Alfred Noble established the prize in his will in 1895 and the accolade was first awarded in 1901. Committees from both Sweden and Norway are task with the difficult decision of allocating the awards to individuals or teams in the fields of literature, medicine, physics, chemistry, peace and economics. Every recipient, or Laureate, receives a gold medal, diploma, and a cash prize of approximately £600,000, as well as bragging rights for a lifetime. Many of the world’s inspiring historical figures have been recipients of the award including Albert Einstein receiving the Physics award in 1921, Sir Alexander Fleming for Physiology and Medicine in 1945 and, possibly the most impressive winner in Noble history, Marie Curie for Physics in 1903 and Chemistry in 1911. Curie remains one of only two people to have won two Noble Prizes, a fact that has contributed to her status as one of sciences greats. Can any of this years recipients create such a legacy?

?&'$()*'+$(1,&%@A3B Nobel-prize-winning scientists work hard, but if the stories are to be believed, they play even harder. The Nobel NightCap is the unofficial after party, hosted by one of four student unions each year. The Student Association at the Stockholm School of Economics, the Medical Students’ Association, Stockholm University Student Union and Tekniska Högskolans Studentkår take turns to host the soirée which this year took place at Frescati, in Stockholm Universities main campus, after the main Nobel banquet.

The event offers prize-winners, students, academics and special guests alike to let there hair down and embrace the theme of the event, or so we’re told. In order to let the geniuses of our generation party in peace, it is strictly a media and photography free zone with only an official photographer at the door to commemorate the occasion. This secret shindig is the place to be for budding researchers in any field to gain both academic and social inspiration and truly epitomises the old phrase: work hard, play hard.

Since 1901, 49 women were honoured with a Nobel Prize. 37% of them won a Nobel Prize for Physics, Chemistry or Physiology and Medicine. Marie Curie was the first woman to receive a Nobel Prize and she remains the only one who was rewarded twice: once for her contribution to Physics, and once for Chemistry.

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The Nobel Prize for physics was awarded to Takaaki Kajita from Japan and Arthur B. McDonald from Canada. They have jointly contributed to the monumental discovery that neutrinos have mass, a discovery which has changed our understanding of the way the universe works. Neutrinos are very small particles that are created in the sun, supernovas, nuclear reactors, and atomic bombs. They are particles that are very inert and normally pass straight through matter without interacting. It was widely accepted by scientists that they only interacted when they passed very closely to other particles. However, Kajita’s and McDonald’s finding that neutrinos have mass has brought up the possibility that they may interact in a way similar to radio waves or x-rays as well. The discovery was based on their observations of neutrinos spinning in one direction and then another. Massless particles cannot simple switch direction in this fashion, indicating that neutrinos must have mass. It also means that previous speculation that neutrinos could travel faster than light was incorrect, because particles with mass cannot do this. These findings have even further implications on the way we had previously understood the universe to work. The Standard Model of how matter and its role within the universe works had withstood experimental challenge for over two decades, but adding the fact that neutrinos have mass into the equation and the theory can no longer be complete. Their discovery will revolutionise our fundamental understanding of how the universe works. Matt Byrne

The Nobel Prize for Physiology and Medicine was awarded in two halves: to the duo of William C. Campbell & Satoshi Omura and to Youyou Tu, for their work in eradicating parasitic diseases. Diseases such as malaria are so widespread that the World Health Organisation estimates 3.2 billion people are at risk- that’s almost half of the world’s population. Malaria is caused by a parasitic species Plasmodium and is spread by the female mosquito. Professor Youyou Tu, a pharmaceuticals graduate from Beijing Medical University, turned to traditional herbal medicine and has found that an extract from the plant Artemisia annua, later renamed as Artemisinin, was highly effective at killing the parasite. This has the potential to, when used in combination therapy, reduce mortality rate by 20% in adults and by 30% in children: this could mean 100,000 lives saved in Africa alone. Youyou Tu is only the twelfth woman and first Chinese laureate of Nobel Prize for Physiology and Medicine. Sally Mu William C. Campbell and Satoshi Omura received the award for their work in the discovery of a new drug, Ivermectin, which has multiple applications. The drug has already proven to drastically lower the incidence of River Blindness and Lymphatic Filoriasis. River Blindness is caused by the parasitic worm Onchocerca volvulus and is spread by the bites of black flies which breed in fast flowing streams and rivers. Like Tu, Satoshi Omura, a Japanese microbiologist, focused on exploring naturally occurring microbes found in soil. Campbell took up Omura’s work and successfully isolated anti-microbial properties: one of which has been found to eradicate parasitic infections in animals and humans. It is thought that the drug will be effective against many more parasitic worms, reducing mortality rate dramatically worldwide. Jane Dalton

They say that the results of nature and nurture make us who we are, and so it is vital that we preserve our genetic integrity to give people something to nurture! This year’s Nobel Prize in Chemistry was awarded to three biologists whose work increased our understanding of DNA maintenance. Up until the 1970s, scientists had assumed DNA to be a relatively stable molecule, not too wild given its ubiquity. That was until Swedish-born Tomas Lindahl came along to demonstrate that DNA naturally decays at such a rate that life on Earth should be completely impossible! This work led him to discover the mechanism behind base excision repair, which acts to fix damaged bases in the genetic sequence and counter the DNA breakdown. Everyone knows that UV light can be extremely hazardous in large quantities, so much so that our bodies have a specific mechanism for fixing the problems it causes. As the effects of the radiation can lead to formation of adducts (sections of DNA covalently bonded to a carcinogenic material), nucleotide excision repair activates to remove the problematic sequence and replace it with standard bases. Aziz Sancar has received Nobel recognition for his work in mapping this entire sequence in exquisite detail. When DNA is synthesised, more often than not the daughter strand (derived from the parental template) will contain errors that need to be fixed. Paul Modrich successfully determined how cells go about mismatch repair, which reduces the number of incorrect base pairs by approximately a thousand. Ollie Burton

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8'3/' The Nobel Peace Prize 2015 was awarded to the National Dialogue Quartet, a lesser known competitor for the award, yet a group of incredibly well deserving recipients. The National Dialogue Quartet was formed in 2013 out of four organizations with the mutual aim to build democracy in Tunisia after the 2011 Jasmine Revolution. The Jasmin Revolution involved a full scale campaign of civil resistance resulting in the ousting of the dictator Zine El Abidine Ben Ali. The revolution left Tunisia unstable, with high levels of unemployment and food inflation. After 2 years of social instability and the assassination of Tunisian politician Mohamed Brahmi, the group united and took their first steps in forcing negotiations for the sake of their country. The group drafted an arrangement between the political parties, steering Tunisia away from corrupt governments while it was on the brink of civil war and into an established democracy in only a few years, guaranteeing basic human rights to the entire population. Ciara Ritson-Courtney

>1%'63%46' The Nobel Prize for Literature went to Svetlana Alexievich, a Belarusian reporter, “for her polyphonic writings, a monument to suffering and courage in our time”. Alexievich is the 1st reporter and the 14th woman to be awarded Nobel Literature Prize. Her writings, though non-fictional, are very emotional and explore Soviet and post-Soviet individuals through thousands of interviews. She writes about big historic events like the Chernobyl disaster or the Afghan War from the perspective of ordinary people- workers, mothers, widows, soldiers. Instead of exploring the big picture, her writing focuses on details of everyday life- love, childhood, music and dance. Her most famous work is “Voices from Chernobyl.” Alexievich says that the £775,000 worth of prize will buy her freedom to write. Anna Jastrzembska

9/)"):1/$;/1'"/' The Sveriges Riksbank Prize in Economic Sciences 2015 was awarded to Professor Angus Deaton for his research into the effects of individual and societal consumption alongside the issues of poverty, health, and inequality. Professor Deaton has spent many years analysing welfare and poverty, working out what people spend their money on, and society’s spending and saving habits in order to understand the gap between rich and poor. Professor Deaton used a novel approach to data collection- he analysed results of household surveys instead of using aggregate data, in order to better understand each individual’s choices. The insightful results of the surveys exposed major flaws in previous models and helped governments to understand the wider economic impact of these choices. As part of a broad spectrum of research, Professor Deaton set out to discover whether increased income leads to lower rates of malnutrition in a bid to explore the link between health, poverty and inequality. His extensive work and recommendations in developing countries have led to changes in the economic policy of India. Professor Deaton recognises that there is still progress to be made in this area, which is particularly relevant with the current refugee crisis in the media spotlight. Louise Clark

The Courier

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1 Surname of famous caveman cartoon family (10) 2 Opposite of aerobic, ‘without air’ (9) 3 Sibling’s daughter (5) 4 To cook using dry heat (5) 6 See 1 down 7 Senegalese-American rapper (4) 11 An inexperienced person (4) 12 Additional (5) 15 One of Jupiter’s moons(2) 17 Dodge (5) 18 Anglican priest (5) 19 Zodiac constellation and star sign between Cancer and Virgo (3) 20 To hold or fasten (5) 21 _ _ _ Wasikowska, Australian actress (3) 22 Nephew of Abraham, wife turned into a pillar of salt (3)

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Monday 26 October 2015

The Courier

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Gabriel Pennington

Harry Musson

Lewis Bedford

James Sproston

Calum Wilson

Golf isn’t traditionally a sport recognised for its exhibition of fashion. The strict dress code at many clubs prevents any bold soul from venturing much further than a collared shirt and trousers. But Ian Poulter bucks that trend. Throughout his career, he has donned some of the ghastliest creations in modern sport, from his shimmering gold and brown combo in 2008, to the Union-Jack emblazoned vest at the 2009 Open Championship at Turnberry. The Englishman remains more famous on the course for his out-there attire and his design company than his golfing achievements. In spite of his Ryder Cup heroics, Poulter may leave a legacy of tartantrousers rather than sporting success.

Let’s be honest, darts isn’t exactly synonymous with style. When it comes to aiming a metal arrow from eight feet away into an area the size of a pen lid, I doubt that Phil Taylor wonders “does my beer belly look big in this?” However one man not only sneers in the face of fashion, he takes his tungstentipped darts to the designer rulebook.

With cycling there are a lot of advantages to wearing lycra: you’re more aerodynamic, you don’t get piss-wet through, it’s comfortable and you’ll slide right over Ronnie Pickering’s bonnet no problem. But that doesn’t mean it’s open season. There are unwritten rules that even the pros seem to forget. It was only last year when the Colombian women’s pro team unveiled their flesh-coloured spandex to the world. Coupled with some unfortunate (albeit necessary) crotch padding, the team and kit will forever be remembered as ‘that camel-toe lot’. It was even dubbed ‘unacceptable’ by the International Cycling Union (awkward). Unfortunately, the men are no better. Time and time again we see white shorts in the peloton. For those that aren’t familiar with the world of cycling, white shorts are essentially cycling’s answer to a seedy wet shirt competition in some sticky bar in Magaluf. Peter Sagan, taking the world champions jersey has just recently committed such a crime; we’re probably going to see more from him this year than we would want.

For no apparent reason, kit manufactures have always taken artistic license when it comes to goalkeeper kits. On the 26th of June 1996 the nation was in tears. Not because England had just been knocked out of their own tournament on penalties by Germany, but because their eyes could no longer bear David Seaman’s woeful “refresher” jersey. And I honestly can’t blame them. But Seaman wasn’t to blame for what Umbro forced him to wear, and I’m frankly surprised it didn’t distract any of the German penalty takers. One man who is entirely to blame for the abominations he wore is Jorge Campos. Known more for his multicoloured playing attire than any actual football, Campos’ kits were all self-designed and more often than not included sleeves that could’ve passed as wings. This eccentric style of clothing was representative of his unconventional, acrobatic style of goalkeeping, and probably of his personality too. Much like Rüştü Reçberof, the war-paint wearing Turk who made opposition strikers shit bricks.

It’s fair to say that cauliflower ears and battered noses can sometimes make rugby players look a little like they’ve been hit with the ugly stick. But, the tight fitting kits they pull over their perfectly moulded bodies are often in keeping with the latest fashion. The same

“I doubt that Phil Taylor wonders ‘Does my belly look big in this?’” His name? Peter ‘Snakebite’ Wright. This fort-five year old sporting behemoth, who derives his nickname from his favourite tipple, has received both praise and criticism for his vibrant outfits. The mohawk, which takes his wife two hours to style, changes colour every game he plays. As does the snake painted on the side of his head! And to top it off, some of the trousers he wears would put Mr Poulter to shame.

“distract the opposition with a bit of flower power” can’t be said for Stade Français however, whose kit manufacturers are always tested to the full with their weird, wacky and downright outrageous colour schemes. Usually based around the colour pink, the shirts often include unique patterns or even floral cartoons. It’s certainly a far cry from the plain allblack kit worn by New Zealand, but perhaps the idea is to distract the opposition with a bit of flower power.

Oh brother, look at some of those kits Collage: Lewis Bedford Images: Yann Caradec and Blake Hall, Flickr

The Courier

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Monday 26 October 2015

!"#$"%"&'(&)*+&),-&.///*!01(&*!(23-$.% The catastrophic has happened. After a mere 30 days there is no longer a single British or Irish team left in our own World Cup. Despite England’s outstandingly early exit we’ve been treated to real drama from the rest of the host nations. I imagine there were very few Brits who didn’t celebrate Mark Bennett’s late try against Australia before feeling sympathy for the Scottish team when Craig Joubert awarded the Aussies a late penalty. This sentiment has even carried over into the realms of football, with the majority of people celebrating the phenomenal success of the majority of the home nations in qualifying for Euro 2016. Until the emergence of this latest Welsh team - who stunned many by getting through the largest (and therefore easiest) Euro qualifying stages in history - English football has been untouchable compared to the other home nations. The support we’d given them in recent years had been little more than patronising encouragement to teams we viewed as beneath us. And yet now, Wales in particular with the force of Gareth Bale in their ranks, seemingly have as good a chance as any at progressing in a major tournament. Just as the other home nations would hate us (England) to win another piece of silverware, must we now begin to take them seriously on the football pitch in case of serious embarrassment? At this point people will, no doubt, be screaming that our nationality is British and therefore we share a bond! So what? The sporting stage is set not on the level of our sovereign state but rather on a national one and last time I checked proximity was a factor in increasing rivalry, not aiding support. Would it be reasonable for the peo-

ple of Southampton to claim they were wishing Portsmouth FC well in their struggles at the foot of the Football League? No. Do Bradford Bulls and Leeds Rhinos want each other to succeed? No, nor should they ever. This claim of a “right to support” is the sort of logic that leads to the very worst kind of person: Home Counties born-andbred Manchester United fans and their ilk. It is simply support of convenience with little regard for the fact that it is the differences between us that define us and therefore the competition we are in. The sooner we get out of ridiculous mindset of supporting multiple nations at a tournament the sooner we will realise what makes sport so great: rivalries. If you enjoy watching rugby or football, watch the tournament and appreciate the quality. You shouldn’t need three or four teams to support to enjoy such an event. People will point to the reference I made earlier to feeling deflated over the Scottish defeat. Yes, yes I did, and I’ll admit there was a small patronising part of me that did want the underdog to win. However, more important than that was the fact that I simply dislike Australia more. There it is, the driving motivation behind why so many of us watch sport: to watch rivals lose and for us to gain. Of course many will disagree, and that’s fine, keep your lukewarm, fake smile and cheer for a nation you have no real reason to support. I will be perfectly happy with the vindictive, sweet pleasure of watching a rival lose and when the next tournament rolls around I’ll know that I’ve got one chance of glory, not four. God save the Queen. Words by Robin Richards

!"#$"%"&'(&)*70$'3"$&* 8$",-&.///*9-:"%*;"-$< Words by Alex Hendley Despite the Irish rugby boys recently exiting the 2015 Rugby World Cup at the hands of the Argentinians, their performance at the tournament was considerably more impressive than England’s. With comprehensive victories over Canada, Romania, Italy and France, there were no embarrassing stumbles for the men in green. For Northern Irish born Newcastle rugby player James Leary, it’s all about the Celtic union. “I primarily cheer on Ireland, but enjoy seeing Scotland, our Celtic brothers do well too” – proving relations within Britain are viable. If the Northern Irish – Scottish bond is a common one, there’ll have been plenty of moans across Belfast when the Scots crashed out to the Australians last weekend. The Northern Ireland footballers, including ex-Burnley and current Norwich hero Kyle Lafferty have qualified for their first ever Euros, a campaign including tough matches against Hungary and 2004 champions Greece. Our Northern Irish representative James Leary told us, “we had a quality qualifying campaign and have looked good for the first time in years. Last Thursday was the first time I’ve been to Windsor Park and seen us score three goals since we beat Spain! I have every confidence and hope we outperform England”. Despite this desire to shadow the English at next summer’s tournament, Leary suggested that he didn’t cheer against England for every sport. “Mainly just rugby. I’m actually a half English so I don’t mind them doing well in other sports such as cricket”. From this evidence it’s fair to say that

the English – Northern Irish sporting rivalry isn’t quite as intense as perhaps widely expected.

!"#$"%"&'(&)*4-,"%///*5-'*+6-&% Words by Calum Wilson

England endured an embarrassing early exit from RWC 2015 Image: Richard Allport, Flickr Wales’ footballers celebrate qualifying for Euro 2016 Image: Jon Candy, Flickr

The river Severn does more than separate two nations; in sporting terms it keeps apart the English roses and the Welsh daffodils. Yet, for Welsh-born Newcastle cricketer, Mat Evans, this divide must be put aside in the world of cricket. “It’s the England and Wales Cricket Board, so it’s our team too”, states Evans, “even if we haven’t had a player in the team for a while, Simon Jones 2005 Ashes anyone?” Despite this, Evans explains that when it comes to any other sport he simply can’t bring himself to cheer on the boys or girls in white. The Welshman echoes the general consensus felt right across the valleys, “as long as we beat the English right?” Wales recently broke English hearts by helping to knock out the hosts of their own Rugby World Cup, but Evans admits that he doesn’t hold the same level of hostility for all the home nation rugby teams. “I’m part Irish on my mum’s side so I’ve always had a soft spot for them in the rugby.” Led by the talismanic Gareth Bale, the Welsh football team have qualified for their first major tournament since 1958 and there’s no questioning who Evans will be cheering on. “In the football its 100% Wales, couldn’t bring myself to support anyone else.” Whether or not Wales manage to progress beyond the group stage next summer remains to be seen, but their rise through the FIFA world rankings suggests that they are a force to be reckoned with. For Evans, the jury is still out on whether Wales can do well on the big stage, “it’s going to be tough, ask me again closer to kick off ”.

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Northern Ireland enjoyed a 3-1 win in the Faroe Islands Image: EileenSanda

Scottish fans are famously patriotic Image: Joanne_Matt, Flickr

The 2015 Rugby World Cup saw England become the first host nation in the competitions history to not qualify from the pool stages of the competition. Following a narrow defeat to Wales in the closing minutes, 25-28, the men in white needed to overcome the Aussies in order to qualify for the knock out stages. However, Australia proved too strong of a unit, and defeated the hosts 33-13, sending England out of the competition. The first of the British teams was out. All other British teams qualified out of the pools, leaving many English fans slightly bitter. The Scottish/English rivalry has always been fiery and tense, but as the Scottish team managed to qualify out of the pools, should English fans have put aside their egos and supported their fellow British nation? The support in England during previous Scotland games had been substantial, with the Scots playing two of their pool games at England’s very own St. James’ Park. The RWC provided a fanzone area behind the stadium for those who could not get their hands on tickets. Having watched the Scotland v Samoa match in the fanzone, it was clear to see that the majority of us Brits are dual supporters of our sporting nations. A mix of nationalities turned out in support, the atmosphere was electric! Scotland’s victory earned them a place in the knock out stages, and I’m sure secured the support of a vast amount of downhearted England fans.

Scotland faced their biggest challenge of the competition so far, as they lined up to play the Aussies, who had been the competition villains knocking out the Englishmen. Scotland is renowned for being the “weakest” sporting nation of the British Isles, yet as they began the match, they were the last standing home nation. The support for the Scots should have been unanimous across Great Britain, for the English fans the prospect of beating Australia should have been enough to fuel the support. For Wales and Ireland, a Scotland victory could have pulled on the British heartstrings. After the narrow defeat in the dying minutes to a controversial penalty, the feeling amongst the majority of Rugby fans was pure disappointment that the last of the British teams had been dumped from the competition. So, with the 2016 Euro’s coming up, and the Scots being the only home nation not to make it to the finals, should they support their fellow Brits? There is arguably a different temperament between Rugby and Football that determines whether Scotland can support England and vice versa. The upper class etiquette of rugby allows room for supporters to be mixed whereas in football, all hell would break loose if supporters were all mixed in with each other! Words by Lynsey Brownlie

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Monday 26 October 2015

The Courier

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Intramural Football 7’s Giroud Boiz

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Hung Like a Bony

3

By James Sproston at Longbenton Written By Alex Hendley This weeks Club of the Week, chosen by our very own AU Officer Angus Taylor is Newcastle University’s Squash Club. Winning five out of five BUCS fixtures on Wednesday, three of which were away from home, the squash players had a scintillating week of university sport. The club enjoyed wins against Bangor, York, Hull and Sheffield but it was the Mens 1sts away match against Leeds Beckett that drew the attention of club president Ryan Doran, who sent the Courier this report. First on court was new recruit for the year George Swyer. Sadly Swyer hadn’t travelled well, and his opponent took advantage of this and finished the game 3-0 before the visitor could really get started.

Wednesday’s featured Intra Mural 7s football match was contested between heavyweights Giroud Boiz and Hung Like A Bony. It wasn’t the first time the two sides had faced each other this season, with Giroud Boiz coming out on top in a 1-0 win in the 5-a-side tournament last Friday, so the game was well poised. But as we all know, 7-a-side is a whole different ball game. Having said that, there was certainly no complacency within the Giroud Boiz team. James Todd delivered an unorthodox Taylor-Swift-inspired team talk, providing both motivation and bewilderment in equal measure to those in attendance. Referee Mr Catchpool got the game underway, and Giroud Boiz’s direct

ble for the self-titled ‘Penalty Saving’ Moose. The subsequent 10 minutes were a brilliantly contested end-to-end encounter. Both keepers pulled off some decent saves, and a beautifully-weighted through ball from Hung Like a Bony’s Joey Barton (no relation) was cut out at the back by the Boiz’s defence. But, seconds after coming on as a substitute, Alex Caldwell teed up Andy Christie to bury home to put HLAB 1-0 up. Striker Ewan Smith doubled the lead

“Giroud Boiz pushed for a goal but were mostly limited to shots from distance”

minutes later following a delicious onetwo with Christie, atoning for his previous effort on goal when he should’ve picked out a teammate instead. With half-time fast approaching, Giroud Boiz pushed for a goal but were mostly limited to Ben Tyas shots from distance due to some robust defending. In the case of Clarke it was slightly too robust for Mr Catchpool’s liking, send-

“Collins faced a tough opponent, but the ever the class act that his, he powered past his opponent”

In what would be the longest match of the afternoon, next on court was newly elected club president, Ryan Doran. Doran started slowly and lost the first game, but after a rousing team talk he came back in the second to level the scores. With the momentum still with him, Doran continued to put his opponent under pressure in the third, and took this game 11-8. By this point, the home crowd was getting behind Doran’s opponent, and Doran lost the fourth game. Now over an hour into the match, both opponents returned to the courts to take part in the deciding game which, after some scintillating squash, Doran eventually won, levelling the match scores. Dave Daly, one of the most promising fresher talents that the squash club has, took to the court to play against a top draw player. Sadly, the Beckett man proved just too good for Daly, beating him 3-0, to tip the fixture in favour of the home side. Jack Hunter, 1st team captain took to the court fourth in what was a must win tie for Newcastle. Finding it difficult to find a purchase, he lost the first two games, leaving the team one game away from losing the fixture. After an inspirational team talk from Doran, however, he returned to the court to grind out a 3-2 win in what was a tightly fought war of attrition. Last up for Newcastle, in the deciding match of the day was Mikey Collins. Collins faced a tough opponent, but ever the class act that he is, he powered past his opponent, never faltering and remaining composed throughout to win 3-0, even leaving his opponent without a single point in the second game. They can’t play squash, nor can they spell ‘Metropolitan’. The result put the Mens 1sts top of the Northern 1A league.

he got the game back under way. Understandably the dynamic of the match had somewhat changed, with Hung Like A Bony seemingly willing to allow wave after wave of Giroud Boiz attack. Much like the first half, the Boiz struggled to penetrate the sturdy HLAB defence of Clarke and James Whitehead but Todd down the left wing always looked dangerous. Half-time Boiz substitutes Sam Boot and Jim Stacey struggled to make an impact and were often second-best in the 50/50 challenges. HLAB remained a threat on the break, epitomised through a Caldwell long ball, flicked on by a

When the final whistle blew, on the balance of play the best team probably won. The winning side’s debrief was rather short and sweet. When prompted, Captain Sarberry modestly stated that “we surprised ourselves”. However the not-so-modest James Clarke claimed that his team’s display was a “masterclass in counter-attacking football”. On the other side of the pitch, the post-match analysis wasn’t so positive. Having beaten the very same opposition a week earlier, Giroud Boiz didn’t do themselves justice and the performance left something to be desired. An

“The striker superbly used the bounce to majestically lob the ball over the onrushing Ed Stanislaw in net, effectively ending the match as a contest”

Giroud Boiz’ arsenal wasn’t big enough to beat the Bony Image: James Sproston approach was evident in the first few minutes. Likewise, Hung Like A Bony immediately demonstrated their own style. Under the direction of Jürgen Sarberry, the team implemented a highintensity pressing tactic, embodied by defender James Clarke. Within 56 seconds the big man had chopped down the on-rushing Todd, but the resulting free-kick was no trou-

Hung Like a Bony cantered to a comfortable victory Image: James Sproston

ing him to the sin bin for a “foul too far”. The interval allowed both teams to tactically readjust for the second half. Unsurprisingly the HLAB team talk was simply to keep up the good work and keep defensively tight, whilst the Giroud Boiz player-coach Jim Stacey called for more intense pressing and swifter attacking when they received possession. Once the horticultural patter of Mr Catchpool had come to a welcome end,

Christie overhead kick, finding Smith who hit the bar. At the other end, Tyas hit the post and several corners were well-defended. Shortly after, another long ball, this time from Barton, picked out Smith on the edge of the box. The striker superbly used the bounce to majestically lob the ball over the onrushing Ed Stanislaw in net, effectively ending the match as a contest.

injury to Pedram Panahi could have been a contributing factor to the defeat, but being too slow in possession and not pressing enough were the overarching issues. In the same vein as his pre-match team talk, James Todd believed that “at the end of the day I don’t think we managed to shake it hard enough”. That must’ve been it.

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Badminton M1 v Manchester 1sts M2 v Hull 2nds W1 v Leeds Beckett 1sts W2 v Teeside 1sts

2-6 6-2 5-3 8-0

Basketball M1 v Northumbria 2nds M2 v Sheffield 2nds M3 v York 2nds W1 v Sheffield Hallam 1sts W2 v Sunderland 1sts

86-64 57-49 54-61 63-84 52-27

Fencing M1 v Edinburgh 1sts M2 v M3 W1 v Edinburgh 1sts W2 v Keele 1sts W3 v Durham 2nds

103-130 135-68 110-129 135-56 124-121

Football M1 v Leeds Beckett 1sts M2 v Northumbria 3rds W1 v Durham 2nds W2 v Leeds 3rds

3-0 1-0 3-0 2-0

Golf 1 v Durham 3rds

5-1

Hockey M1 v Manchester 1sts M2 v York 1sts M3 v Hull 1sts M4 v Teeside 1sts W1 v Sheff ’ Hallam 1sts W2 v Durham 4ths W3 v Sheffield 3rds W4 v Leeds 4ths

4-1 2-1 2-2 4-3 4-2 5-0 1-3 3-2

Lacrosse M1 v York 1sts M2 v Northumbria 2nds W1 v Durham 1sts W2 v York 1sts W3 v Durham 5ths

21-3 8-3 2-18 6-23 6-28

Netball 1 v Northumbria 1sts 2 v Liverpool John Moore 3 v Leeds Beckett 4ths 4 v Sheffield 2nds

17-45 36-68 44-39 33-47

Rugby Union M1 v Nottingham 1sts M2 v York 1sts M3 v Leeds 2nds M4 v Leeds Beckett 3rds M5 v Sheffield Hallam 3rds W1 v Leeds Beckett 1sts

21-19 32-32 17-43 17-29 W/O 22-33

Rugby League 1 v Hull 1sts 2 v Huddersfield 1sts

8-54 4-50

Squash M1 v Leeds Becket 1sts M2 v York 1sts M3 v Hull 2nds W1 v Bangor 1sts W2 v Sheffield 2nds

3-2 4-1 3-0 4-0 3-1

Table Tennis M1 v Northumbria 1sts

8-8

Tennis M1 v Durham 4ths M2 v Teeside 1sts W1 v Stirling 1sts W2 v Leeds 2nds

2-10 12-0 0-12 10-2

Volleyball M v York 1sts W v Heriot-Watt 1sts

1-3 3-1

Waterpolo M1 v Manchester Met 1sts

12-14

The Courier

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Monday 26 October 2015

!"!#$%&'()*$+,-%'-./$0'--'-1$(.Netball By Abi Dodwell NUNC 1sts 17-45 Northumbria 1sts After a narrow defeat at the weekend in the regional league, Northumbria were ready to give it their all in the North east derby. Newcastle began well with fluid play in centre court as Hattie Grant and Hannah Dearden worked hard to move the ball up into the attack. But Northumbria fought back and forced Newcastle to make errors which cost them valuable goals. By half time the poly were leading 7-25 but Newcastle’s fighting spirit spurred them on in the third quarter and allowed them to keep pushing against the poly. With defenders Emily Hollingworth and Annie Bolle-Jones applying pressure to Northumbria’s towering attack Newcastle were able to keep Northumbria’s lead down. Going into the last quarter, Northumbria held a firm lead but Newcastle still didn’t let their heads drop, they maintained a clean and high quality performance not sinking to the bad sportsmanship of the poly. It is fair to say that the score didn’t reflect Newcastle’s excellent performance. NUNC 2nds 36-68 L’Pool John Moores

Another tough match for the 2nd team this week as they faced one of their hardest competitors. But Newcastle held together as a team with the defence making a strong start in the game as Caroline Glenn and Jess Pickering made lots of tips and applied pressure

to their attack. Despite this excellent play Liverpool managed to take the lead going into the second quarter but Newcastle fought hard to keep close at their heels. With the shooters Olivia Gordon and Steph Garfield working incredibly well together in the D they gave Liverpool’s defence a hard game. But by half time Liverpool had taken a strong lead thanks to their enormous goal attack that didn’t missed a single shot. However, Newcastle continued to work well as a team with Captain Laura Brady getting steals all down the court and communicating well. Although it was not a victory, the 2nds played a great game and are still positive about the season ahead. NUNC 3rds 44-39 Leeds Beckett 4ths A great week for the 3rd team as they take yet another victory. They hit the ground running with accurate shooting from Katie Isbister who also fought hard to gain rebounds and pick up loose balls. Newcastle managed to secure their lead in the second quarter as

“It was a very promising performance that shows they should achieve a lot this season” the defence adapted well to Leeds tough shooters and Olivia Dale managed to gain crucial turnovers. By half time the score was still close but Newcastle were

The 2’s on the attack against Liverpool John Moores Image: NUNC

dominating on court. Player of the match Chloe Marshall, kept the team going with her strong drives in centre court that created a fluid and controlled movement within the team. The thirds kept their spirits high going into the final quarter as they continued to motivate each other and make that final push to secure the victory. Another successful game for the 3rd team leaving them undefeated so far this season.

NUNC 4ths 33-47 Sheffield 2nds After a trying start due to late umpires, the team managed to utilise their adrenaline and keep the score close. Forceful drives from Poppy Doorbar meant that the ball moved swiftly down the court and easily into attack. Newcastle were only two goals down going into the second quarter and they managed to hold this goal difference thanks to great play from the defence Ella

Peartree and Sally Williams who made numerous interceptions and secured rebounds. In the second half there was great play from Jess Tracey who was well deservedly voted player of the match, but despite her accurate shooting, Sheffield managed to pull away making the final score 33-47. Although Newcastle didn’t manage to maintain the close score, it was a very promising performance that shows they should achieve a lot this season.

!23$45%%6/$4(57/68$ !"#$%&'()*+',-.*/,,*(,,"*#$*/).*+,,0 4.%$9566$%,$://)*$)/9/5% Women’s Waterpolo

Women’s Rugby Leeds Beckett 1sts

33

Newcastle 1sts

22

By Hannah Anthony at Centre of the Track There were eight freshers on the team list with five starting; many were playing only their second match ever. After letting Loughborough intimidate them last week, Newcastle were ready to show Leeds Beckett their new-look side’s determination and team work. It was a strong start to the match with an early try from Charlie Woodman on the wing, though Beckett came back strong with two tries in the first half. Newcastle’s girls then played hard for 15 minutes in Leeds’ half but couldn’t find a way to break through, almost losing the ball, but after some more hard work the girls managed to turn the ball over and score to equalise. A really competitive first half, with both teams putting in strong performances, drew to a close with the scores level. Newcastle’s play was characterised by some strong performances from the forwards in their set pieces with scrums improving immensely from the game against Loughborough the previous week. The girls kept strong with Charlotte Lentz and Beth Robinson setting a high standard while Tash Robson’s helped their strong scrumming. Robson also had some amazing carries, smashing through defensive line, leading to an impressive try by Elle Bloor, and a cool

conversion by Robson. Outside of the set pieces all the forwards had a strong game with big hits and good carries. Robinson’s hard hits and impressive runs led to a try by Robson in the second half while the whole team was putting effort on improving communication and work rate, meaning drift defence off scrums and line outs improved a lot. The backs’ handling and set moves had also improved since the Loughborough match, along with their confidence. With some big hits from Jess Hepburn and quick thinking on penalties by Philippa Serebriakoff, Newcastle earned a second try for winger Woodman. Despite the gargantuan effort, with 5 minutes to go Newcastle trailed 26-22. Both teams were working hard but with tiredness setting in, a few mistakes appeared from Newcastle. Beckett broke their line scoring a try in the last few minutes. It was an amazing debut for rugby fresher Imogen Leigh, earning her forward of the match award while Hepburn’s strong passing and tackles earned her back of the match. The star of the show Robson’s strong carries, try and break throughs earned her player of the match for the second week running. A word from the captain: “The best game I have been involved in, but with the most frustrating result. The girls gave it their all for the full 80 minutes. We were all gutted but we are looking forward to stealing back the win in two weeks time.” Next week’s game is away to Durham, and we’re hoping for a big result.

Newcastle 1sts

7

Edinburgh 1sts

13

By Lucy Brogden at Northumbria Pool Newcastle Women’s firsts started their season with a disappointing 13-7 defeat to a strong Edinburgh side. It was destined to be a tough match from the off, with Edinburgh having beaten last year’s BUCS champions, Sheffield Hallam, the week before. The first team line-up was drastically altered, with Eloise Churchill, Sophie Sowerby, and Sarah Poyntz all making their debuts for the Uni. Newcastle got off to a promising start in the first quarter, with Quayle winning the swim off, giving her side possession. Unfortunately, they failed to capitalise on this, with Edinburgh’s keeper saving

all of their shots. Newcastle’s determination was eventually rewarded with a goal by newcomer Sowerby, briefly giving them the lead, before Edinburgh quickly countered with a lucky lob from their centre forward which drifted into the net. Two successive goals from Edinburgh followed as they took advantage of being a man-up, due to an infraction committed by Newcastle, bringing the score to 3-1 in Edinburgh’s favour by the end of the first quarter. Savage defensive work by Edinburgh continued in the second quarter, making life difficult for the home side. This was especially felt by centre forward Churchill, who was outnumbered in the pit, but more than held her own. An impressive turnover by captain Emma Little gave Newcastle another opportunity to score, as they formed an arc at Edinburgh’s end, but the shot grazed the crossbar. That failure to convert was duly punished by the visitors, as they mounted a series of attacks. Uni keeper Jess Newman was called upon on a number of

Uni’s waterpolo girls were unable to pull it back in the pool Image: Katie Miller

occasions to keep the score at 6-1 by half time. Following a disappointing second quarter, Newcastle re-formed and attacked with vigour, opting for a fullpitch press under the instruction of head coach Andy Little. This put Edinburgh under pressure and made for a high-octane third quarter. After losing the swim off and conceding two goals Newcastle fought back, using a man-up to pass the ball around the arc, resulting in a goal from Poyntz. More goals followed soon after, with Charlotte Blyth scoring from the wing and Sowerby adding a second goal to her tally. This was a marked improvement for Newcastle following their slow start and it seemed like they were back in with a chance. Both sides fought strongly for the duration of the third quarter, with more goals from both teams bringing the score to 11-6. A re-invigorated Newcastle side started the fourth quarter strongly, with Sowerby completing her hat trick. Two goals from Edinburgh in the closing minutes made the final score 13-7, a somewhat unfair reflection of Newcastle’s efforts, a thought seconded by captain Emma Little, who said that despite the final score, “it was a good first match”. Coach Andy Little, who commended the “good work of all the girls, despite a slow start”, echoed such sentiments. All in all, it was a promising start for Newcastle, who showed real potential. Given the time to properly bond, they could be real contenders in the northern league this year. Newcastle will face both Loughborough and Durham next weekend, where they hope to build on last week’s performance.

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www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 26 October 2015 Issue 1317 Free

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!"#$%&'#$%(")*+,%-&.%/0'/1%2-#,% '-(%3'2%4#"%"#%5'2(6%78,(%9*2:;% Men’s Table Tennis Newcastle 1sts

8

Northumbria 1sts

8

By Liam Carson at Sports Centre Time can be a cruel mistress and it was the Newcastle University Table Tennis team that found this out in the hardest way imaginable against their bitter rivals, Northumbria. Going in to the final game of the day the sides were level with eight games won apiece, but as the venue’s time allocation ran out, so did Newcastle’s hope of stealing a derby win. The home side started the better of the two teams, taking a 2-0 lead almost immediately. Team captain, Chun Yin Yu kicked off the match by comprehensively beating Northumbria’s Jimmy Mayne in straight sets with some truly outstanding offensive shots. The performance of Chun was then quickly followed by another straight sets victory for Newcastle as Matthew Stephens swept away Jonny Giles to extend the lead. Despite a positive early start from Newcastle, Northumbria soon found their way back to level terms. George Falcus was unlucky to lose 3-1 against Anth Barella after storming away in a great first set and Howran Wang also lost 3-1 in a close match with Sam Hitchen. The first round of games showed just how high the level of concentration has to be to compete in the sport. The games were very fast and one poor move could see a point or even a set slip away. After quick break, the second round of games began with the script following a very similar pattern. Newcastle once again created a two game advantage before Northumbria closed up the gap in the next two games. Chun Yin Yu won his second game of the match with a strong 3-1 win over Jonny Giles before Matt Stephens followed suit, gaining his second win of the match, with a 3-1 victory over Jimmy Mayne. The Northumbrian team fought back strongly with two straight sets victories to level up the scores once again. Sam Hitchens brought it back to 4-3, defeating George Falcus before Anth Barella mopped up a quick win over Howran Wang. The matches were unbelievably competitive with both sides showing a lot of skill and a lot of fight on the table. You could feel the tension in the room with just how tight the match was and mistakes were a rarity. As the match

Ping Pong Poly: The thrilling derby ended in stalemate Photography by Liam Carson entered its second-half, you could sense that both teams had stepped up their attempts to get ahead in the game. Yet it appeared that the level pegging was to continue for the longevity of the afternoon. Chun Yin Yu took on Anth Barella in the ninth game and with both players already having two wins under their belts, it was set up to be a very interesting game. It was Newcastle again that stormed into the lead with a quick 2-0 lead established by Chun, but as the match had already shown, Northumbria were always going to draw back level. So with a straight sets victory in sight, Anth Barella fought back and levelled the game at 2-2, which set up a tense final game. With both players fighting for a superb victory, the extensive rallies made for a supreme spectacle. Yet it was Chun who finally overcame Barella

in emphatic style, to really spur on his side. Scores were once again level as Sam Hitchens picked up his third game win for Northumbria, defeating the equally impressive Matthew Stephens. George Falcus then restored Newcastle’s lead with a straight sets victory over Jimmy Mayne to gain his first victory of the match. Though as the previous script would have suggested, Northumbria were set to get level and so they did. Jonny Giles repeated Falcus’ feat and secured a straight sets victory over Howran Wang to level the scores at 6-6, before the final round of games. Team Newcastle were constantly taking the lead but struggled to maintain it as Northumbria were showing such stubborn persistence to keep tabs on their rivals. Round four began with what surely seemed the crunch match - Chun Yin

Yu versus Sam Hitchens. Both players went in to the game undefeated and with only 5 sets dropped across the match between them. It started brightly again for Chun who performed extremely well against an equally matched opponent, as he opened a 2-0 lead. This was cut though and then levelled by Hitchens, who showed some superb smash shots in the 3rd set. But it was to be Chun’s day; the Newcastle’s captain kept his unbeaten record and pulled out an impressive clean sweep. Anth Barella was close behind however to level the scores for Northumbria, as he secured a straight sets victory over Matthew Stephens. Barella had been impressing throughout the match and made up for his loss against Chun to win his third game out of four. With two games left to play and the clock running down, the tension was on

a knife’sW edge. Newcastle once again took the lead making it 8-7 in the penultimate game. George Falcus once again recorded an impressive result with a straight sets victory over Jonny Giles. Northumbria however had not given up and nor had Jimmy Mayne who thrashed out a 3-1 victory, his first of the match, over Howran Wang, to level the scores at 8-8. With all games played and the scores level, the game would have been decided on doubles, however there was not the time to play the match so the game ended in a tie. After the game, Newcastle’s Matthew Stephens said: “It was very even. We’ve got one good player; they’ve got a couple, even teams really. As a team we played well, it was always 50-50. Matthew was playing really well, we normally rely on him to be fair, but as a team we’ve done really well.”

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