Courier 1318

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www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 2 November 2015 Issue 1318 Free

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Head of Arts and Cultures assigned top UNESCO role UNESCO establishes Chair in Cultural Property Protection and Peace Newcastle Professor Peter Stone officially appointed as Chairholder Role includes protecting cultural sites across the world

He also made the point that conflict takes not only a tragic loss of human life, but also “robs the world of its Newcastle University has been invited past” through the destruction and sale by UNESCO to establish the inaugural of historical artefacts. Cultural destrucChair in Cultural Property Protection tion disrupts the physical wellbeing and and Peace. The Chair will see the Uni- economic potential of affected commuversity leading the training and devel- nities. The post has been created in the face opment of new links and partnerships worldwide to help prevent the destruc- of “an almost unprecedented urgency tion of cultural property during conflict. to mitigate the destruction of cultural Professor Peter Stone, Head of the property,” Professor Stone said. Of the School of Arts and Cultures, will be ap- 1031 UNESCO World Heritage Sites pointed as Chairholder in January. As around the world, forty-eight are curpart of his work as UNESCO Chair- rently considered to be in danger. Sites holder, Professor Stone will work with at risk are not only in the Middle East governments and militaries interna- and Africa - Liverpool Maritime Mercantile City is curtionally, as well as the !"#$%&''$#()*$+&( rently considered to heritage sector and the be at risk owing to the public in order to “fosLiverpool ter a better understand- ,-'(,-.(&/*&+'01&( proposed Waters Project to renoing of the value of cul&/2&#0&+3&(0+( vate the docks of the tural property.” Professor Stone has 345*4#-5(2#$*&3*0$+( World Heritage Site into a new waterfront stressed that while con6$#5.60.&7 quarter. All projects, flict requires cultural regardless of location, property protection environmental disasters are also an on- are covered by the new Chair, Professor going problem. The Church of the Na- Stone. The role of the UNESCO Chair is tivity, the traditional location above the cave that marks the birthplace of Jesus, very relevant to peace. Professor Stone is under threat from water leaks, and the noted that while “we hope conflict Minaret of Jam in Afghanistan is under does not impact on Newcastle and the the continued perils of erosion, water UK,” the work of the Chair in promotinfiltration, floods and earthquakes, ing peace could involve working with such as the disaster that hit the Hindu World Heritage sites across the United Kush last week. The Chair’s work will Kingdom, notably the Frontiers of the continue the successes of projects such Roman Empire: Antonine and Hadas that at the Kyomizu Dera Temple of rian’s Wall. Part of the role of the Chair Kyoto in Japan, which has promoted is to promote the use of heritage sites to the transfer of traditional knowledge promote peace, and these sites are funof complex conservation procedures to damental to achieving this. Although it is unlikely that students protect the site.

By Francis Williams

Professor Peter Stone at Hadrian’s wall Image: Professor Peter Stone

will be able to get involved with the Chair’s activities this semester, as the project is still in development, it is anticipated that opportunities for interaction will increase in the New Year. For now, the establishment of the Chair will involve the development of training materials for the military. Professor Stone told The Courier that he “certainly hopes to be giving a Public Lecture, possibly in Semester 2 of this academic year.” University Vice-Chancellor, Professor Chris Brink, was keen to stress the “world-leading expertise” that Newcastle University has to offer in cultural property protection. He stated: “With the benefit of Professor Stone’s knowl-

edge and expert guidance, this UNESCO Chair will play a critical role in protecting the world’s cultural heritage for future generations.” Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport, Ed Vaizey, emphasised the need to protect cultural property as being hugely important. “I welcome Professor Stone and Newcastle University to the role of the first UNESCO Chair to protect cultural heritage at risk of destruction,” Vaizey said. Launched in 1992, the UNESCO Chairs Programme promotes international inter-university cooperation and collaboration, combining human and material tools with the abilities of uni-

versities and research institutions. Current Chairs, in over 700 institutions in 126 countries, have forged strong links between academia, civil societies and local communities. The new Chair at Newcastle adds to this with a primary focus on cultural protection in times of conflict and environmental disaster. Professor Stone has had extensive experience in cultural protection worldwide, working as a specialist advisor to the government over protecting heritage in Iraq, in addition to Chairing the UK Committee for the Blue Shield, an organisation that promotes the protection of cultural property against threats of all kinds.

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:ULWWHQ LQ WKH 67$5V QHZ VRFLHW\ ZHOFRPHV UHIXJHHV By Joe Herbert On Tuesday evening, students gathered in the Barbara Strang Teaching Centre for the first meeting of a brand new society starting up at Newcastle University – Student Action for Refugees (STAR). STAR is a national charity, comprised of student groups from universities all over the country, which campaigns to support refugees. This includes increasing public awareness of the experiences refugees go through, volunteering and working with refugees in the UK, and campaigning for their fair treatment and rights. The Newcastle branch is the latest addition to the network of some 41 groups, totalling up to around 13,000 students.

During the first meeting, STAR committee members at Newcastle gave a presentation introducing the charity, the issues that it seeks to address, and the important role students can play in supporting refugees. With the focus

President of the new STAR group, Khadija Badri explained her motivations for setting up the new society: “Watching the conditions refugees faced in Europe get increasingly worse, and the lack of humanitarian response

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from the UK and other countries made me feel like I had to do something to change the situation in whatever way possible.� The current humanitarian disaster in the form of the Syrian crisis has esca-

lated over the summer months, prompting more and more students to get involved and do their part to support the refugees. There are already a number of fellow societies at Newcastle addressing the crisis in their work, and ready to cooperate with STAR in order to highlight the severity of the situation. Khadija also outlined the main aims of STAR for the academic year ahead: “STAR want to make Newcastle University an equal access university for refugees and asylum seekers by providing scholarships to those eligible. We also want to tackle the misconceptions people have about refugees and asylum seekers by putting on educational workshops with guest speakers and film nights.�

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STAR is a national charity and has just opened its first Newcastle branch Images: Joe Herbert

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The Courier

Monday 2 November 2015

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By Isobel Thompson Last week Newcastle University’s Islamic Society took to the streets fundraising on campus, Northumberland Street and at Monument for Islamic Relief, a UK based charity. This annual event, which includes student groups, raised funds for orphans and children in need in Asia, Africa, Eastern Europe and the Middle East. Head of the student group running

projects they would like their money to go to. Interested participants only had to grab a society T-Shirt from any committee member at the daily bake stall held outside the Student Union and then they were able to get involved with any of the activities. “Many people do not know this but giving a proportion of our wealth to those in need is compulsory in Islam, and looking after the poor especially Orphan Children who have nobody is something, which is referred to

!"#$%&'()**($'+$(,-.'$#$/'0/$',$//&' 123$-'2(('*+$'4)55$%$/6$7'8+)-')-'09%' 6+2/6$'2-'&09/:';9-()1-'*0':$*'*0:$*+$%' 2/4'123$'2'%$2('4)55$%$/6$< Charity Week for Newcastle and Northumbria is third year student Robina Saeed. “We want Charity Week to be bigger and better,” Robina told The Courier. “Even if Islamic Relief is a Muslim charity, the money goes to many countries including those that are not Muslim so I don’t want people to be under the impression that only Muslims can be involved. I want everyone to get involved, people from all faiths or no faith, everyone just coming together for one cause.” Last year the Islamic Society’s Charity Week was a small event ran by seven volunteers. Despite this they successfully raised £2,000. This year there were 75 volunteers who ran bucket collection points, bake sales, henna stalls, arm

again and again in our Holy text the Quran and by the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh),” Robina said. “So this is our chance as young Muslims to get together and make a real difference.” All through the week, the volunteers involved with Charity Week 2015 have been at the stall, tirelessly working towards their cause. “We’ve been here rain and shine, when it was chucking it down yesterday, the day before, but we haven’t given up because we’re doing it for the orphans and all the other children in need from all over the world,”Robina told The Courier. “Already we’ve beaten the total that we made last year. Last year it was £2000 and we have three more days to go yet

!=$>#$'?$$/'+$%$'%2)/'2/4'-+)/$.'@+$/')*' @2-'6+963)/:')*'40@/'&$-*$%42&'2/4'*+$' 42&'?$50%$.'?9*'@$'+2#$/>*':)#$/'9,< wrestling contests, a photo booth, a Halal pub quiz, a pamper night as well as a FIFA night. There were high hopes that this year would top last year. “Every little helps, even one penny makes all the difference,” Robina pointed out. “I’m really happy and I hope that everyone will come together for this cause because it is children who suffer the most. It’s good to give back to others who have less than us.” 2015 is the 12th year of Charity Week with similar actions happening in Dubai, Qatar, Germany, Switzerland, Australia and the USA, to name a few. Last year money raised across the world was spent on Education projects in Mali, psycho-social support for displaced Syrian Children in Lebanon and prosethtic-orthopaedic assistance for disabled children in Chechnya. This year supporters can visit the Charity Week website to vote on which

until Sunday and already we’ve beaten that, so I’m really happy.” Photographs from this year’s Charity Week can be found on the Newcastle University Islamic Society Facebook page. This month, ISoc also joined in with Black History Month, organising an event about Islam & Black History, in conjunction with OneCommunity. Next on the Islamic Society’s calendar is their annual Discover Islam week in the big marquee outside the Union in February. “We’re really pleased with all the progress so far,” Robina added in her final remarks. “The banking deadline’s not until Friday 13th so we’re still going to be bucketing now and again on campus, but today’s the last day of the food and everything. Big thanks to everyone who donated cakes and everything, it’s been really good!”

Robina Saeed, organiser of Charity Week 2015 Images: Newcastle University Islamic Society

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Monday 2 November 2015

The Courier

China collaboration tackles city pollution

air quality but also reduce local traffic. Berkeley Earth’s scientific director, Richard Muller, says: “Breathing BeiNewcastle University, Imperial Col- jing’s air is the equivalent of smoking lege London, and Southeast University almost 40 cigarettes a day and calculates will work together on the ‘Low Carbon that air pollution causes 1.6 million Transitions of Fleet Operations in Met- deaths a year in China.” ropolitan Sites’ project. In its course, Phil Blythe, Professor of Intelligent Chinese experts will look at how trans- Transport Systems at Newcastle Uniport systems in the UK deal with envi- versity, said: “Lessons learned from the ronmental and social problems in the changes we are making to infrastruchope to reduce Greenhouse emissions. ture and encouragements to adopt low The aim is to look at hybrid and low car- carbon vehicles in cities like Newcastle bon transport. where electric vehicle charging points The project, along with three others, have been put in, could help combat the is a part of the Low Carbon Innovations problems of poor air quality and carbon research programme. One key area emissions in huge conurbations. of research focuses “We have all seen the imagon the weekly food !>*'1&5)(,*%5& es of smog-covered cities and shop. Researchers will the evident health risks that examine whether a ,#2-'1?&'1#)#&*+& brings need to be combatted move away from indi- 2&5)(,*%5&@#+*)#& but we need to recognise that viduals driving to the with growing wealth, there supermarket towards '(&(,%&2&.2)&+(& is a growing desire to own a encouraging superso new strategies to deal %#,&+')2'#5*#+& car market deliveries is a with that are needed. These more environmental- '(&@#2-&,*'1&'12'& problems are not unique to ly sustainable method and we have similar 2)#&%##@#@= China of shopping. challenges in de-carbonising As well as this, Newcastle will be vital transport and finding means to improve in the examination of whether cities en- air quality in cities – as a partnership we couraging electric car use, with enough can learn from best practice and local charging points in strategic locations, innovations, from each other.” reduce carbon emissions and are feaProfessor Phillip Nelson, Chief Exsible on a large scale. The investigation ecutive of the Engineering and Physiwill use UK transport systems, which cal Sciences Research Council, agreed: face similar problems to those of the “The aim of this UK-China research Chinese just on a smaller-scale, to com- collaboration will be to reduce worldpare and understand how changes in car wide CO2 production and ensure enuse and the use of low carbon vehicles ergy security and affordability.” can not only improve the climate and

By Scott Houghton and Sophie Chapman

The project aims to reduce air pollution problems in big cities Image: Christopher A. Dominic

School of English welcomes War Horse author By Sinead Corkett-Beirne News Editor

A project has been set up by Newcastle University and Seven Stories, The National Centre for Children’s Books, to celebrate the work produced by Michael Morpurgo. Custodianship of an archive of the authors work has been granted to Seven Stories, an archive and children’s museum which contains draft manuscripts, notebooks, photographs and other materials. The School of English Literature, Language and Linguistics (SELLL) have collaborated with Seven Stories to embark on a Knowledge Transfer Partnership (KTP), which is a Government-run programme designed to help businesses improve their competitiveness and level of productivity using the knowledge and skills within UK universities. The Arts & Humanities Research Council (AHRC) is funding the project which will result in an exhibition opening in Newcastle in July 2016, followed by a national tour. Morpurgo’s ability to craft stories will be explored in the exhibition, alongside

the profound effect that his literature has upon readers of a young age. From the School of English, Dr Jessica Sage, Dr Anne Whitehead and Dr Lucy Pearson will work with Seven Stories to provide an expert insight into the ways in which Morpurgo constructs his stories. According to Dr Sage, “There is already a strong connection between the University and Seven Stories which is illustrated by the annual David Almond Fellowship award and the fact that a number of SELLL graduates are now employed at Seven Stories. “This new KTP project will cement that relationship further by helping to build new and more diverse audiences for the exhibition, both academic and non-academic, for this exhibition and for Seven Stories’ public programmes.” Seven Stories will welcome Michael Morpurgo on 14 December for a performance of his Christmas story ‘On Angel’s Wings’. The evening is a fundraising event to raise money for the archives. Michael Morpurgo OBE is one of Britain’s best-loved writers for children.

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Monday 2 November 2015

Media mogul makes appearance at Hatton

Finally, she gave advice to audience members about how to strive in such a competitive field, saying that those who Anna Jones, CEO of Hearst Maga- are most successful are the ones with a zines, which contains Cosmopolitan, great attitude, who put their hands up, Elle, Men’s Health and Reveal, amongst ask questions and take every opportumany other household magazine nity they can. She said it is important to names, spoke at Newcastle University’s follow your passion, and what you need Hatton Gallery on Thursday night. is hard work and focus about what you The talk was run by the University’s want to do. Out of the 900 people she very own Entrepreneurial Society, in employs, she doesn’t know if they even association with RiseUp – the Career did a degree, or if they did, what mark Service’s entrepreneurial development they got – but she does know if they section. work hard to make the business strive. Jones, who is a former student at Jones also noted how it is extremely Newcastle University, covered many important to be authentic, as people can topics about the business strategies very easily sniff out a fake, and to make of the magazine company during her sure how you are respectful of people. speech. These included how to approach However, the CEO stressed that the the magazine industry in most important thing was an era that could be con- !;,&$%&(8,-()(13& to enjoy yourself, as posisidered ‘beyond print’, as is essential. Jones $)2*-,.+,&,*& tivity well as business events they also left plenty of time hold and the products they <(&.0,#(+,$/=& at the end for questions, produce. which many audience The CEO touched on .%&2(*21(&/.+& members took the opporhow Hearst Magazines em- 7(-3&(.%$13&%+$66& tunity of asking. These inploys experts in the fields cluded “what do you do to *0,&.&6.>(: turn being a woman in this they cover, such as fashion and beauty, food and drink heavily male-dominated and homes and interiors. In fact, she industry to your advantage?” to which noted how a quarter of articles released she replied to not try and ‘testosterone about these fields are covered by Hearst up’, and not change who you are – you Magazines. got there for a reason. Jones also spoke about the role of Finally, some of the students who women in the industry. According to worked for RiseUp ended the speech by her, very little has changed regarding advertising the NCL Apprentice, a comthe amount of women in the industry petition for entrepreneurial students since the 80s, and she believes that her that gives them the chance to work own daughter will have to face the same together to complete business-related problems that she had to. challenges for a prize of £500.

By Lauren Exell

Anna Jones met up with enthusiastic Rise Up entrepreneurs. Image: Lucy Moore

Investment Society starts up Officers head to London to protest against grant cuts

“The cut in maintenance grants will not only have an effect on future students at university but also those alA demonstration against cuts to mainte- ready at university,” said Ruairi Walker, nance grants will take place in London the President of Newcastle University’s on 4 November. Among the protesters Labour Students Society. will be representatives of Newcastle “With some people completing two University Students’ Union, including years of uni relying on grants only for Welfare Officer Luke Allison and Gen- their only support to be removed comder Equality Officer Lucy Morgan. ing into the final, most important year “I am attending this demonstration of their life is disgusting – making a year because free education, like everything which is hard in terms of stimulus hard else, is a feminist isphysically and mensue,” Lucy Morgan !"#$%&'()*+%,-.,$*+& tally. said. “Although stue only way /*01'&#(12&./,&.%&.& to “Th dents will not be givcounter policies en bigger or smaller /.,.13%,&,*&(+/*0-.4(& which are unfair and loans depending on unjust is for people 2(*21(&5#*&)$4#,& to come together their gender, the fact is that after graduactually try and 6((1&0+$7(-%$,3&$%& and ation, women are make a difference, ,**&(82(+%$7(9: more likely to accumake a point. This is mulate greater debts what this demonstraas they pay off their loans. As the loans tion is and this could help act as a catatake longer to pay off, they will also in- lyst to encourage people who might feel crease in interest making it even harder university is too expensive. If students for women to ensure financial stability. from as far as Newcastle are willing to “This has wider implications for go to London for the demonstration, it [Black, Asian and minority ethnic] might kick-start a bigger, more effective women who are more likely to be paid campaign.” less than white women and therefore The National Union of Students found bear the brunt of the fees and cuts even out that more than a third of students more.” would have been discouraged from purThe protest not only opposes the suing higher education if they were not scrapping of maintenance grants, it also entitled to a maintenance grant. supports free education. Newcastle StuThis demonstration might be a first dents Union will provide transport for taste of political activism for some, for £10 and there are fifty places available others it’s a part of an ongoing fight. to book online.

By Valentina Egorova

The committee of the newfound investment society. Image: Investment Society

By Mark Sleightholm Current Affairs Editor The new academic year has seen several new societies founded, including one aimed at students interested in investing. The Investment Society plans to spread knowledge about investment strategies and to debate current financial developments. Tom Cullen, President of the new society, spoke to The Courier about his motivations for starting the society. “When I started trading it was quite hard to know where to start; there’s a lot of information and things get complicated quickly,” he said. “I spent some time compiling information and I wished there was someone who would just give me it for free. “I also wanted to create a network of people who traded so we could share

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knowledge and progress together. Not many of my friends traded or wanted to invest and I thought it would be better doing it in a team and with other people so I could get other’s opinions.” Like several other Newcastle societies, the society owes its existence to alcohol. Cullen explained: “It was by chance I met – on a night out – somebody who also thought investment society was a good idea. Luckily he had several contacts who were also keen and thus we progressed with the society.” The Society held its first event, a welcome drinks evening at Livello, last Monday, giving people interested in investment a chance to learn more about what the society can offer them. The committee are keen for new members to have a say in how the society operates. Krishan Tanna, co-founder and Vice President, said: “This year represents a great opportunity for anyone looking

to get involved in a society which is just beginning. It’s a chance to really shape and mould something which can be greater than the sum of its parts.” “We’re new so we’re still open to ideas,” added Cullen. “We want it to appeal to everyone. Investing doesn’t have to be something you do every day – you can invest and leave it. We want people to have the knowledge to invest their own money in the future rather than relying on somebody else.” The Society has planned weekly Thursday meetings to attract new members, whether they are experienced traders or just have a casual interest in investing.” He continued: “We’re hoping for various talks, events and projects through the year. We want to provide a society that encompasses everything its members want.”

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Monday 2 November 2015

!"#"$"%"&'(()&*(+,-(.&/0.&,1/2+3 By Emily Keliher S.H.A.G. Week hit Newcastle University this week, a five-day long event aimed at increasing awareness of both mental and physical sexual health. From Monday 26 to Friday 30 October, a number of talks and workshops were held across campus, providing advice and guidance on sexual health. Luke Allison, Welfare and Equality Officer, said: “Whilst we look at the physical side to sexual health, like last year, we are also focusing greatly on the mental aspect. “We’re trying to open up the topic of sexuality, discussing orientation and expression, and how comfortable people are with it”. Events included a BDSM talk and workshop on Tuesday in the Students’ Union, which aimed to break down familiar terms and inform people on how to apply the Safe, Sane, Consensual code of ethics to sex. A women-only Anne Summers party was also held in the NUSU Venue Level 2 at 7pm, with a 15% discount on all orders placed on the night. Allison additionally sported a giant S.H.A.G. Week inflatable penis costume around campus, with people who took a picture with him given the chance to win a prize. The STI testing and Sexual Health Drop In Centre was open all week from 11am to 4pm in the NUSU Red Cube.

Students who took chlamydia tests had the chance to win free headphones and cinema tickets for Empire Cinema in The Gate. The club or society with the highest percentage of completed tests will win a prize of £250. The events last week aimed to emulate the ethos of Sexpression, a national student organization that empowers young people to make decisions about sex and relationships. The organization held two talks; a ‘Beyond the Birds and the Bees’ discussion on Wednesday 28th and an ‘I heart Consent’ talk held on Friday 30th, co-hosted by LucyNeely Morgan, VicePresident of FemSoc and Gender Equality Officer for the Union. Morgan said: “Promoting sexual health and increasing accessibility to sexual health services should always be a priority for the Union. “S.H.A.G. Week should focus on raising awareness of existing systems and access to contraception already available on campus.” Sexpression also hosted a national conference in the Newcastle Medical School last weekend where people could hear from influential speakers within the sexual health community about subjects such as living with HIV, as well as meeting others passionate about sex and relationship education. For more information on the work of Sexpression and to find out how to get involved, visit sexpression.org.uk.

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Education Officer Matt Price and Welfare Officer Luke Allison. The inflatable penis has been walking around campus all week with information materials. Image: Victoria Armstrong

Editor of The Courier Victoria Armstrong dressed as a penis Image: Luke Allison

!"#$%&'()'*$%+,$-".,/$,"0".,1-$&')/ By Robin Richards Researchers in the Newcastle University Medical School have received funding from the British Heart Foundation to undertake life-changing research. The funding comes with the hope that the Medical School can make a breakthrough into making heart transplants safer and longer-lasting. The team at Newcastle hope to narrow the margin of rejected transplants by investigating the role that certain proteins play in the process. By understanding the function of these proteins it is hoped it would be possible to de-

termine a patient’s chance of transplant rejection. This would allow for intervention and individualised therapy increasing the chances of the survival of the ! transplanted heart. The University has previously benefited from BHF’s initiative to sponsor research. Over the past ten years, the BHF has invested £5m into the University’s cardiovascular reasearch. The British Heart Foundation works

towards eradicating heart disease primarily through investment in multiple areas of research: from development of drugs through to the best methods of diagnosis. The money received from the BHF comes out of around £100 million that they invest in research each year - making it the nation’s largest independent funder of cardiovascular research. Professor Jeremy Pearson, Associate Medical Director of the British Heart

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Foundation, has emphasised just how important Newcastle remains in the battle against heart disease: “This research being undertaken at Newcastle University could increase our ability to prevent transplanted hearts from being rejected. Ultimately, allowing people who have undergone this procedure to live longer, healthier lives with a healthy donor heart.” The leading researcher, Professor Simi Ali, said: “By understanding more about the process by which organs are rejected we hope to develop blood tests to allow us to catch a transplanted heart in the early stages of rejection. The ultimate aim of our research is to reduce

the number of people suffering from organ rejection, and to prevent people from re-joining a growing transplant waiting list.” “The BHF exists to end the suffering caused by all forms of heart and circulatory disease and we’re committed to funding the very best researchers doing the highest quality research in order to achieve that goal,” Professor Jeremy Pearson said. “For people with severe heart failure, heart transplantation is often the only option.” According to their latest research strategy, the BHF has now committed to spending over half a billion pounds on research in the next five years.

Monday 2 November 2015

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2015 Charity Week

The Courier

!"#$%&'( Mother Nature calls Birmingham

Free sanitary products will be given to students at Birmingham University following a successful campaign launched by a sabbatical officer at the students union. The idea was proposed by Daisy Lindlar, guild representation and resources officer, in retaliation to the ‘tampon tax’ whereby sanitary products are subjected to a 5% tax as they are classed as a ‘non-essential luxury item’. The issue has been raised in Parliament as MP’s are currently debating the issue. Lindlar addresses the issue by saying, “I’m fortunate in that although the tampon tax angers me, I would never be actually priced out of a period. But there are many people who aren’t so lucky. These people have to resort to unhealthy measures to manage their periods, such as ‘backto-backing’ the Pill in order to avoid having a period in the first place, or creating unhygienic, homemade alternatives to traditional sanitary products.’

Consent at Cambridge Cambridge

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Compulsory sexual consent workshops have been introduced at Cambridge University for first-year students. The Students Union Women’s Campaign designed the workshops with the intention of educating students about issues such as rape and lad culture. According to Isabel Lowe-Zinola, the women’s officer at Newnham College, booklets are distributed during the session that contain ‘information about going out, drinking societies and how to stay safe in the prevalence of lad/rape culture’. She added: “First year students in particular need this kind of advice because for some of them university is the first time where they will start going out and being introduced to these kinds of dangers. The National Union of Students published research last year that found that two thirds of students surveyed have experienced unwanted sexual comments.

Pied Piper visits halls University College London

University College London has agreed to pay more than ÂŁ100,000 in compensation to students who lived in noisy accommodation that was infested by vermin. An internal complaints panel has decided to rebate 87 students who lived in Campell House West, located near Euston, with a terms rent which amounts to ÂŁ1,368. The seven month campaign included a rent strike which led to UCL’s complaints panel concluding that the living conditions were unacceptable. Students complained of disrupted sleep and an inability to study after demolition work began at Wates House, adjacent to the accommodation, between 2014-2015. According to Professor Anthony Smith, “UCL takes its responsibility towards its students extremely seriously and values highly its relationship with the student body. I am sorry that on this occasion the students’ experience did not match their or our expectations.â€?

Ethnicity research Durham

An academic at Durham University is investigating whether ethnicity influences the likelihood of admissions to university. Dr Vikki Bolivier’s study reveals that 55 percent of applications from white applicants who applied to Russell Group universities between 2010 and 2012 were offered a place. In comparison, 30 percent of applications by Black Caribbean applicants and 22 percent for Black African applicants received offers. The results are based on a sample of UK-domiciled applicants who pursued full-time undergraduate courses. Although admissions tutors do not see the ethnicity of applicants, Dr Bolivier argues they might infer their ethnicity based on an applicants name, address, school and personal statement. However, UCAS has disputed this claim saying there is no systematic bias against ethnic minorities. Sinead Corkett-Beirne News Editor

The Courier

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s a passionate, queer, working-class feminist who adamantly believes that feminism is no longer about just women’s rights, I was absolutely disgusted by the hate speech spewed by Germaine Greer on Newsnight. As a consequence of her hateful language about trans* people, the governing body of Cardiff University, where Greer was scheduled to give a talk on ‘Women and Power’, ultimately decided to ‘no platform’ her (or rather, they chose for her not to speak). As someone who has fought vehemently for the rights of women, Germaine Greer should be an icon to someone like me or any student feminist activist. But in my opinion, it’s hard to listen to any woman who claims that, “Just because you lop off your penis and then wear a dress, doesn’t make you a woman.” Upon hearing this, my snap response was to call her a dinosaur and burn my copy of the Female Eunuch. However, this brings up the complex issue of whether one comment can give proper cause for the dismissal of all the previous fights that Germaine Greer has fought for women all over the world. Of course it can’t, but Greer’s opinion on trans* women shows that she has failed to catch up with the progression feminism is making in society. She is stuck in the world of the second-wave, still being praised for those actions she took decades ago.

down. “It’s important to hold these views of Greer’s up to the light to show how unviable, outdated, and utterly unsympathetic they are.”

“Transphobic views will always be met with anger by the student community” It seems to me that the general consensus is that the university did the right thing in not allowing Greer to give her talk on ‘Women and Power’. Her biting views would have been harmful to vulnerable students at the university, and protecting their students should be any university’s top priority. Greer already has the privilege of having such a strong female voice in a society rooted in patriarchy – the decision to no platform her will barely tarnish her ability to express herself. It merely shows Greer that transphobic, hateful views will always be dismissed and met with anger and disappointment by the student community.

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he hallmark of any budding authoritarian and anti-intellectual movement is the restriction of debate and flow of information to suit its ideology. This is something expected of statist China and Putin’s Russia, but surely not in the democratic utopia of our Queen’s Great Britain? Well, sarcasm may be the lowest form of humour, but there’s nothing funny about the restriction of thought and speech into a narrow strait of ‘acceptability’. If the government’s wonderfully vague ban on “terrorism” defined as any movement even peacefully “opposed to British values” didn’t surprise you, then maybe a recent move to ban speech at Cardiff University by some of its student population will. Centre of the attention is acclaimed Australian feminist Germaine Greer, who has faced harsh criticism and a petition

“It’s hard to listen to any woman who claims that ‘Just because you lop off your penis... doesn’t make you a woman’” Trans* women are a vulnerable, marginalised group and deserve their own safe space in feminist politics. Should we have stifl fled our feelings and waited for her to start her talk before bombarding her with anti-Greer banners and glitterbombs? At least this way she would have seen the effect her ‘opinion’ had on the student body. Or was it right to instantly silence her before her views triggered panic and upset? I asked the Facebook community for their opinion on why silencing her was the right thing to do. One person said to me that because she makes regular TV appearances and has an immense platform to assert her views, it is ridiculous to think that the action of not welcoming her to the university is infringing her free speech. Instead it “stands up for trans* students across the country who shouldn’t have to have views like this officially endorsed by their places of study.” It’s an act of protection, it does not encourage ignorance around the issue of transphobia – it displays that these hateful comments have consequences, even for people such as Greer. ComSoc committee member Victoria asserted to me that “she’s not been silenced, it’s just been made clear to her that her views are not welcome in a place of learning and rational thought.” However, other Facebook users believed that the issue should have been dealt with in another way. An opposer of the no platforming told me how rather than shunning Greer, we should have allowed her to speak, so that students could knock her opinions

against her invitation to speak at the university after she made comments arguing that post op transgender women are not actually women and hence do not properly belong to the feminist movement: “I’m not saying that people should not be allowed to go through that [sex change] procedure. What I’m saying is that it doesn’t make them a woman. It happens to be an opinion. It’s not a prohibition.” Greer, however, sounds less reasonable considering her inflam- matory remarks that labelled Caityln (formerly Bruce) Jenner as attention-seeking. All the same, is this truly grounds for banning her from speaking? Petition leader Rachael Melhuish considers these “hateful views towards marginalised and vulnerable groups”, yet hate is simply an inaccurate word to use. At no point did Greer state a hatred of trans women, imply they are less than human, or incite violence against them. Therefore banning her on the basis of “hate speech” is unfounded, and the move against her is merely

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because she may have hurt some people’s feelings and because she fundamentally disagrees with the petition-signers. The right to free speech does not exist so we may talk about the weather; non-violent speech frequently causes offence and avoiding this is nigh on impossible.

“Banning her from speaking does absolutely nothing to fight transphobia” Even if her words were to motivate transphobic violence in others, banning her from speaking does absolutely nothing to fight transphobia, and merely lets the inhospitable status quo continue. The prohibition of ideas does not work, merely marginalising and radicalising those who hold them. It is by challenging and de-constructing Greer’s views in open, reasonable debate that they may be taken of their power and thrown to the side. At the very least it is better to talk openly about issues instead of to merely fuel redi ersentment between people with diff ent views, as that is precisely the cause of conflict, hate, and prejudice. This writer does not agree with Greer’s comments, and that is precisely why I wish le to to see them argued down instead of being left simmer and boil away civil discourse. Many trans women themselves oppose the petition, such as writer Emma Flowers: “Although the comments have caused me much distress personally, I do not believe she should be banned from airing her views… I am a huge advocate of free speech. It is far better to win through reasoned argument and medical fact, rather than fuel ignorance by giving up the moral high ground.” Banning speech is anti-intellectual and goes against all the moral principles of universities and

“The hallmark of any budding authoritarian movement is the restriction of debate and flow of information” learning. Throughout this, the major crux of the petition is that the claim Greer’s lecture gives a platform for transphobic views is very likely unfounded, as she claims her speech on ‘Women & Power: The Lessons of the 20th Century’ will have no reference to trans issues.

Illustration by Jasmine Newton

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Monday 2 November 2015

The Courier

NUS right to reject anti-extremism

!7KH 1DWLRQDO 8QLRQ RI 6WXGHQWV VKRXOG EH DSSODXGHG IRU ¿ UP SRVLWLRQ RQ 3UHYHQW challenge anyone who holds what is considered ernment’s heavy handed approach could only fuel views’, not just those threatening violence. resentment and create the very divides this fund()*+",%-.*/0)*$ ‘extreme The problem is, who decides what is ‘extreme’? This ing is supposed to dissolve in categorising anyone

SNAP-EXCESS We’ve all seen it happening and, to be honest, we’ve all at one point or another been guilty of filming mindless videos to confirm to everybody that you’re having a good time. I’m talking of course about Snapchat stories. It’s social laziness that, at best, is merely indirectly letting people know what you’re doing without you actually socially interacting at all. I simply cannot comprehend why people feel the need to have their happiness validated by others. If you’re having a good time enjoy it, experience it with those around you, forget attempting to justify your fun through the medium of a screen. It’s symbolic of the social media obsessed culture we live in. You view highlights of people’s lives through apps such as Snapchat and by doing so demean what you are currently doing. It’s pointless. If you want to speak to someone, make the effort, call them. If you want to enjoy yourself, that’s never going to happen through the medium of someone’s else’s blurry 10 second video captioned “Sik Nite #Toon”. Get out there yourself. Robin Richards

T

he National Union of Students (NUS) has turned down government funds to improve relations between ethnic and religious groups on campus. This is due to funding this year coming from a government unit alarmingly named Preventing Violent Extremism in Further and Higher Education, as part of the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills (BIS). Shelly Asquith, the NUS vice-president was right when she asked, “why would this department fund such a project? What is it about students of faith that necessarily relates to ‘violent extremism’, unless we are following a common narrative that assumes all Muslim students are suspects before proving themselves otherwise?” In another disconcerting move, the BIS refused to confirm that the funding for the grant was not in fact associated with David Cameron’s Prevent Strategy which was set up in 2011 with the aim of tackling UK extremism. The Prevent Strategy has been criticised as McCarthyist by some, as Cameron’s government has become increasingly convinced that to mitigate the risk of domestic terrorism, the state needs to

MOST THINGS! God, everything’s a bit annoying isn’t it? Like nothing really in particular, but just ...things. I think I’ve just become a grumpy old git who has nothing better to do than whinge on about any bloody thing. But I’m right, most things are a bit naff: airplane meals, coach trips, 9am seminars, slippery pizzas (I dropped one on my last night out), that reminds me...disappointing nights out - even EastEnders has been rubbish lately. Honestly, open your eyes realise that most things are so annoying - overexaggeration, I think not! Like, stop being so optimistic and get cynical, being all cheerful about something you know is going to go to pot. Honestly, things are so much better here on the sark side. If you really want my advice, I’d recommend lowering your expectations, just accept that your plans probably won’t go to plan, and aim for something much more manageable. That way, you’ll be much less likely to be disappointed, and therefore you won’t bemoan most things like your good friend Jack here so often does. Jack Parker

“The problem is, who decides

what is ‘extreme’? This is a direct threat to individual rights and freedom of speech” The big question now is can the NUS afford to turn down the cash? While their act of protest puts out a strong message, is it as effective as the funding would been in supporting the Campus Cohesion, Faith and Belief project they already run? The NUS has already described the project as vitally important for students’ unions to understand how to engage students of faith, build partnerships, and tackle issues such as hate crime and intolerance. On the other hand, funding coming from a unit named ‘Preventing Violent Extremism in Further and Higher Education’ clearly shows that the Government believes in a direct link between extremism and minority groups. This belief and the Gov-

different as a potential extremist. Having a different view does not make you extreme; it simply means you have a different opinion. Since early October the Prevent Strategy has legally bound schools, colleges and universities to monitor and report on students they deem may be at risk of becoming violent extremists. This includes monitoring students who appear ‘withdrawn’ or those who seek ‘political change’. This could effectively mean anyone having a hard time or expressing an opinion. With the focus on preventing what the government sees as Islamic extremism, the prospect of racial profiling and state-sponsored Islamophobia is a terrible thing to see. Black and Muslim students are bearing the brunt of this racist and reactionary agenda while freedom of speech across the board is threatened. The NUS is right to reject funding associated with repression and discrimination, and it should continue to stand uncompromisingly against the Prevent Strategy. The NUS is right to place the individual rights of the students it supports and defends above gaining extra funding. I should hope that placing morals over money will continue to take precedence and the NUS will continue campaigning to prevent the Prevent Strategy. Image: Celso Flores, Flickr

IN ROBBO WE TRUST It’s only now I’m at university that I understand how dire my local library is. It’s particularly scarce on German epic poems. You wouldn’t believe the bother I had trying to find the Nibelungelied the other day. The woman behind the desk had her mind blown when my query wasn’t about a bag of Wotsits stuck in the vending machine. “I’m looking for a book.” “Oh.” “Can you help me?” “Yes?” I’ve never been particularly comfortable in my own skin, so asking about a book Adolf Hitler quite liked was always going to make me wriggle. My neck flushed red. It got worse when she asked how to spell it: “N-I. No. N-IE. No. Have you got a pen and paper?” After telling her it was a translation, and therefore more likely to be in prose, she located it on the system. “Got it.” “Is it in stock?” “No.” “When is it due back?” We threw it out.” “Oh.” I found it in the Robinson Library and shared some banter with the librarian. “Light reading?” Those tuition fees are paying for themselves. Adam Thompson

is a direct threat to individual rights and freedom of speech, a human right Cameron himself has stressed the importance of following the Charlie Hebdo massacre.

“Our attitudes to things like Americanisms go deeper than just finding them annoying - they reflect our attitudes to society as a whole”

American vs English? Don’t have a cow, man!

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f there is anything that the fearless defenders of the English Language hate more than misplaced apostrophes, it’s Americanisms. We live in fear of an invasion, a sudden outpour of American culture that will undoubtedly swarm our lives and homes if, god forbid, we should on occasion let slip the term “trash”. We are, of course, morally obligated as Britons to try to the best of our abilities to waylay the usurping Americanisms, or all hell will inevitably break loose. Why though? Why are Americanisms such a problem? Prescriptivists – people who believe in a strict set of rules for language – argue that there is a right and a wrong for language, and that American English (AmE), falls into the category of wrong. But even so, is that enough incentive to justify getting quite as angry as some people do? This kind of attitude reeks of almost an apocalyptic fear of decline. The idea of language being linked inextricably with society as a whole has led to generations of intolerance towards even the slightest changes. If you were to approach somebody who held these kinds of views, however, and asked them why simple words like “sidewalk” bother them so much, they would have no better response than, “but it’s not right!” “It’s not English!” Oh? But it’s a vocabulary that is being used

by English people all the time. Does that not make it, by default, English? The origin of a word hasn’t always affected our attitudes towards it. Any vendettas the British may have towards the French is completely forgotten when borrowing terms like “Déjà vu,” and let’s not forget, plenty of our words stem from German, such as “doppelgänger” or even “angst.”

“If there is anything that the

fearless defenders of the English Language hate more than misplaced apostrophes, it’s Americanisms” My favourite part, however, of debating with linguistic purists about Americanisms is this: have you ever used the term “battery” or “radio”? How about “talented” or “reliable”? All Americanisms which, though you or I may now accept them as a perfectly normal part of our vocabulary, were once detested just as “elevator” and “rookie” are now. Similarly, words that we may consider abhorrently foreign now, “candy,” “diaper” or using the term “fall” to describe autumn, were all originally Britishisms: words that once invaded America, and that we Britons abandoned and never reclaimed. My point here is that language and attitudes towards it are constantly changing, and to say that

English Language was once at a peak of perfection, and has been declining ever since, is to have a shockingly narrow and self-centred view of the world. Between feverishly correcting apostrophes, reprimanding people for their spelling and grammar, we forget that the use of apostrophes in plurals, which prescriptivists so detest now, was once the standard, and printed in the dictionary. The Apostrophe Protection Society (yes, it’s a real thing) devotes its work towards “saving” the apostrophe from decline, and their website (which is well worth a visit, if only for a good laugh) makes a point of detailing the ‘correct’ use of “less” vs. “fewer”, or “who” vs. “whom.” Grammar nuances like these however, are in most senses, completely obsolete. If I were to tell somebody that there are “less (as opposed to fewer) English speaking people living in England than there are in America” regardless of whether my misuse of the word “less” rattled them, they would still understand my meaning. So what’s the problem? It’s clear here that our attitudes to things like Americanisms go deeper than just finding them annoying - they reflect our attitudes to society as a whole. Language is a beautiful thing, constantly changing and contradicting itself, not just over our lifetime, but over centuries. To suggest that the English Language as we know it is right, and that every other variation - from Chaucer to American English, to different kinds of patois - is both wrong and incredibly arrogant.

The Courier

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Monday 2 November 2015

We need tax-free tampons. Period

!"#$%#$&%'&()*&%#+"*&#,"&-%#).%/&"01%'+21$#%)1)"0-#3%!"#$%&#'(#$)%'),12&-%#$)#% 4&%-$+2*5%/&%#,&)#"01%6&,"+5-%*"7&%4&%#,&)#%#$&%8+0-2(6#"+0%+'%9)'')%:)7&-%; a woman at least £3.75. Turn that into the av- was rejected by 305 to 287 votes. In response to the !"#$%&#'(#$)% costs erage 39 years of periods women go through, the proposal’s rejection, the financial secretary to the

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love a Jaffa Cake. I love a whole packet of them even more. Give me a pitta bread and a pot of hummus and I am in heaven. Any other day of the year if you told me that pitta breads and Jaffa cakes are zero-taxed items, I’d take it as a valid reason to buy as many Jaffa cakes as I can carry home and spend the evening eating myself into a carbcoma. Last week however, MPs voted on whether or not to scrap the current 5% VAT on women’s sanitary products. Women are currently taxed the luxury VAT rate for tampons. This means, under the UKs current Finance Bill, we are taxed more to have a period than we are for buying biscuits (we will discuss whether Jaffa cakes are really a biscuit or a cake another time).

“We are taxed more to have a period than we are for buying biscuits”

Ask anyone who has ever had a period and I guarantee you, unless they are violently allergic to Jaffa cakes, they will consider eating a Jaffa cake to be a far more luxurious experience than spending the average of one week of every month for the majority of their life having periods. And having that many periods is pricey without the added ‘luxury’ VAT. Based on the average number of sanitary towels a woman would need per period, each period

average woman would be spending a minimum of £1,755 on tampons or towels throughout her life. Over one and a half grand is A LOT of money for women to be spending on a necessity product. And yet, we are made to pay for tampons and towels as luxury items. Now. When was the last time you thought, ‘Holy shit?! I forgot to get in a sewer cleaning service! I really need that right now.’ Or how about the last time you were going about your daily business and it suddenly dawned on you that ‘Crap?! I totally need some exotic meat in my life right now’. Chances are it’s never been necessary to your wellbeing or your hygiene that you have access to these things. But guess what? There is absolutely zero tax on either. Nor is there tax attached to flapjacks, herbal tea or bingo. So right now, having a period is taxed more highly than buying an ostrich burger. A woman cannot switch off her uterus. She cannot stop having periods to save money. Periods are a necessary evil that women have no choice but to live with. They are not a luxury. I can choose to buy Jaffa cakes whenever I please. That is a luxury, because having choice is a luxury. So today when MPs were given the opportunity to force negotiations with the EU to reduce the 5% VAT rate on sanitary products (the VAT rate is the lowest allowed under EU law), what happened? Did our MPs decide that women’s sanitary products are as much of a necessity as an evening of bingo? Were they compelled to make tampons as essential as the pitta bread in your Saturday night kebab? HA. The proposed amendment to the Finance Bill

Treasurer said that the tampon tax would be raised as an issue with the European Commissioner. So the issue of tampons being taxed as a luxury is going to be raised to the EU. A step in the right direction? Yes. However, the proposed scrapping of luxury VAT on women’s sanitary products was still opposed by a majority of the MPs who voted. And some of them were women. YEP. Some women with the power to change the luxury tax actually opposed scrapping it. I don’t get it either.

“A woman cannot switch off her uterus. She cannot stop having periods to save money. Periods are a necessary evil that women have no choice but to live with”

No woman has ever said to herself, ‘hmm, I’ll treat myself to a cheeky pack of sanitary towels’ or, ‘hey, you know what? Those tampons are a really cute colour. Oh what the hell, I’ll have them!’ Buying them is not a choice. It’s time to stop charging us as though it is and it’s time to start treating periods like Jaffa cakes.

“It’s time to start treating periods like Jaffa cakes”

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he Prime Minister’s speech at the Conservative Party conference really did change the tone. It indeed had a centrist, catch-all feel to it, with Cameron emphasising just as much, if not more, on social justice and equality as on their “long term economic plan”. You could even say it was almost comforting as he tried with all his might to rally the entire country behind the Tories. And quite a clever move too, after the election of Corbyn to Labour leader, the centre ground seems a little bare (when was the last time you heard something about the Lib Dems?). However as we all know, actions speak louder than words—to properly judge a party means to look at what it’s actually doing, not to fall blindly in love with its rhetoric. This is a party whose policies comprise of strangling public services and continuously selling off large parts of the State to the highest bidder, taking away financial aid for those at the bottom and cutting tax rates to those at the top. No matter your political affiliation, these anti-interventionist and

individualist policies are firmly grounded in rightwing territory. Coming across as the country’s main common-sense centrist party is a way of establishing their ideology of austerity and privatisation as a universal norm, but we can’t let ourselves be hypnotised into thinking that this is the only single path towards a better future. And that’s what we need to realise. Despite how

“Quite a clever move too, after the election Corbyn to Labour leader, centre ground seems a little bare (when was the last time you heard of the Lib Dems?)”

unifying Cameron’s conference speech may have come across as, the Conservatives remain a party ever edging to the right. They’re no more centrist, in reality, than Corbyn’s Labour is. The sort of so-

cial equality Cameron talks about in his speech— equality of opportunity regarding ethnicity, sexuality, gender or disability—cannot be taken as a criterion for establishing a political party’s stance in today’s politics, because across the board, we all agree more or less that discriminating upon one of these criteria is absolutely ludicrous. So if we strip it all back, what are we left with? Exactly the same thing as we’ve had for the last five years: unrelenting frontbenchers implementing unpopular policies in the drive towards their ideological goal, a reduction in the size of the State and the role it plays in everyday life. It’s for this reason that Cameron and friends aren’t going to make an effort to move into the centre ground that New Labour’s absence has left behind, but instead they’re simply going to tell us that their way is moderate, that their way is the only way, and that they’re the only people who can deliver to us a prosperous future. But we know better than to believe politicians, right? In essence, the idea that the Conservatives have embraced some new-found radical centralism is so wrong its quite literally right(wing)!

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e are live and we have some BREAKING NEWS; we have just received reports from several traumatised citizens who have claimed that they have spotted a young woman wearing what can only be described as far from appropriate clothing in Newcastle city centre. Of course we have our man-on-the-ground reporting the case and from what we can tell from our witnesses so far – who are understandably still incredibly shaken – the claims appears to be (regrettably) true!

“I am here right where today’s horror happened and well, it is a city in SHOCK!”

This comes not so long after a marginally attractive girl of around twenty years old was seen parading around in public spaces with both her lower thighs and her midriff on show last week. [Video link to the key witness in the investigation] “I saw it with my own eyes, it’s just not something that you’d expect to happen near you. Quite frankly I’m shocked!” Reports still indicate that no children were exposed to last weeks display, and for that, I’m sure all of us can have some peace of mind! *Shuffles paper* Today, the question has been raised to local authorities and the University +≠on how these anonymous offenders have managed to steer towards such an inappropriate course of action – was there more they could have done or were these girls not in sane mind? The poor decisions of these girls in particular have been linked to at least three reported car-crashes in the local area, around a dozen local businesses shutting down due to distracted staff, and several drunk men in bars going home alone and unsatisfied. Where will it end?! For answers, we will now be going live to our man on the ground: for those of a sensitive disposition, the following may contain possible bellybutton piercings and exposed calves! “Thank you, Steve. I am here right where today’s horror happened and well, it is a city in SHOCK! As you can see, the street and local vicinity has been cordoned off and the press are pulling together to talk to as many witnesses as possible. To our knowledge, the offender is still at large but we are of course on high alert. Most worrying of all, early reports suggest that the offender showed no sign of shame and appeared to be genuinely convinced that her short skirt and ‘crop-top’ were really acceptable forms of outdoor clothing. Well, this community begs to differ quite clearly. Back to the studio.”

“How would a man feel about this? ” Shocking. Our resident psychologist is here as always to shed some light on these recent damning events; Bro – what gives? “Well, today’s events can only but highlight today’s questionable moral climate where women under the delusion that decisions regarding their own bodies are to be made by them and them alone, but this way of thinking can be extremely damaging. It is of course, important for women to stop and think before they act, and ask themselves the question: how would a man feel about this? Research in the past decade have revealed how even an exposed collarbone can make a man in a workplace environment too aroused to concentrate on his very important job”. Deeply concerning, indeed! Today’s events have left a city grinding to a halt. How much more can the public take? It would seem that the rip-jean-effect-short-shorts that will break the camels back is fast approaching, and it smells like gender equality. (Brought to you by Leanne Egan)

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Jade Holroyd, 3rd Year History meets Hugh Vermont, 3rd Year Geography

Hugh on Jade

Jade on Hugh So where did you decide to meet? We went to Fat Buddah, the restaurant. Who decided? He suggested somewhere but I didn’t really like the sound of it, so I thought I’d suggest there. What were your thoughts when he first approached? Well I don’t know why but I was a bit nervous, because I didn’t know what he was going to think of me. I didn’t really know what to say. What about appearance-wise? I thought he was a nice looking boy, I don’t really remember what he was wearing though. So what did you order to eat and drink? We took ages to order because we were talking, and the waiter kept coming over to ask what our orders were but I hadn’t had chance to look at the menu yet. I had a nice cocktail and he had a beer, and we had pad thai. It was a bit awkward because I wanted to be adventurous but then we both got pad thai. I wanted duck, but he got duck, so I had to get chicken. And then I didn’t really want to choose noodles because I thought “how am I going to eat these?”, so I had to decide whether to eat with chopsticks or a fork. He started eating with chopsticks, but I got a fork, and then asked for a spoon… but it was a really big spoon and I couldn’t put it in my mouth, so I was just twiddling my noodles for ages before I actually put them in my mouth. It sounds like you were talking a lot, what were some notable conversation topics? Thailand. We’ve both been, although he went for three months and I went for three weeks, so, bit of a difference. He’s very Southern and I’m very Northern.

Where did you go on your date? We went to fat Buddha, it was her suggestion and I thought it sounded like a good idea. What were your first impressions? Pretty good, we were both on time so that always helps. I would use the word stunning as my first impression of her. What did you think of her accent? Yeah she has quite a broad Hudders Huddersfield accent. Posh Essex boy and Hudders Huddersfield girl could be a nice juxtaposition. What was the first thing you said to her to break the ice/ awkwardness? There wasn’t really any awkwardness I don’t think, just straight into conversation really. Because it was an Asian restaurant with Thai food I was talking about how much I loved Thai food and then she mentioned she went to Thailand and I went to Thailand too… in my gap yah.

“Posh Essex boy and Huddersfield girl could be a nice juxtaposition” Was there any sexual chemistry between the two of you? I’m not sure, she was very hard to read. Almost cryptic. Obviously the conversation flowed very well and there were smiles and laughs but I didn’t get anything immediately from her or anything like that. With the Thai food and noodles, was there any difficulty eating them in front of your date? I persevered with chopsticks for about 5 minutes thinking I was going to prove to her that I could do it, but I wasn’t getting enough food on my chopsticks to satisfy my hunger cravings so I then switched to a very Western fork. Would you introduce her to your parents? Yeah quite happily, I think they’d approve 100%. She does History which is one of those traditional subjects that they’d love. They’d approve of that. Would you do it again? Yeah I would, although I couldn’t really read her so not sure if she would.

“I asked for a spoon but it was a really big spoon and I couldnt fit it in my mouth”

What did he make of your [very strong] Yorkshire accent? Well he asked where I was from and I thought, “is it not a bit obvious?”, so I said Leeds and he said, “yeah, I thought so.” What’s the weirdest thing that happened? I dunno, it was pretty standard. It was just a lot of conversation, overlapping conversation. So what happened when the date finished? We got the bill, and then went home. We hugged goodbye. Were you tempted to kiss him? No, absolutely not. Well, if you did kiss him, do you think your parents would approve of him? Well, I already showed my mum him on Facebook and she said “Ooooh no, he’s not your type!”, but it’s because I like boys with blonde hair. Did you get the metro or a taxi home? Well, he got the metro, I got a taxi because I live in Sandyford and he lives in Jesmond. He did try to get me a free taxi by giving me his Uber code, but it didn’t work because I’d used all my data up. If he were an animal, what animal would he be? I wanna say panda, because pandas are friendly, and he’s friendly. If you could rate your date, what would you give it? On a conversation level, I’d give it a strong 8. But in terms of romance, 5.

“If she was an animal I’d say she’s a fox because she’s a foxy lady” How did your date end? With a friendly hug and separate ways. If she was an animal, what would she be? (much deliberation) I could be really cringey and say a fox because she’s a foxy lady. How would you rate your date? A solid 7.5.

Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

The Courier

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Monday 2 November 2015

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’d never heard of Lola Jeans before going there for a friend’s birthday last week. It’s on a road just off of Grey Street and so would be easy to miss, but this would be a grave mistake, believe me. It’s very easy to get to; free parking is available on the next street along and it’s also a one minute walk (if that) from Monument metro station. This little gem impressed us from the moment we walked through the door. The dim lighting added to the vintage charm cast by the velvet armchairs, the tasselled lampshades and the grandfather clocks. It was 1920s yet modern, fancy yet homely, classy yet comfy. We were immediately made to feel as relaxed as if we were sat in a (very stylish) friend’s living room. Lola Jeans is able to accommodate many large groups at a time, whilst sitting each group far enough apart so that it does not feel like everyone is on top of each other. We felt like we were the only people there as we had our own private corner of the restaurant. Equally it provides an intimate and cosy atmosphere that is perfect for couples. The flattering dim lighting ensures you are able to enjoy your burger in peace, without the fear that your partner has noticed that you have sauce all around your mouth. Everyone wins. In terms of dress-code, you wouldn’t look out of place if you turned up dressed to the nines in heels and a black dress/crisp shirt and chinos. At the same time they welcomed us in our mum-jeans and wavy jumpers, fresh off the streets of Jesmond.

“The dim lighting ensures you are able to enjoy your burger without the fear of sauce around your mouth�

We ordered cocktails and mine was brought in a porcelain cup and saucer. Rosebuds were sprinkled on top and I could smell them every time I took a sip. I felt like I was in heaven or on some sort of exquisite pamper day! The waitresses accidently brought us one-too-many cocktails but didn’t make a fuss and were happy to give us the extra one for free. Onto the food‌ The menu was a meat-eaters dream, though there were veggie options as well. The menu is described as ‘BBQ American’ and is made up of burgers, platters and sandwiches (but the kind which are stuffed with steak and smothered in gravy). They sign off the menu with ‘love LJ xx’, which I thought was a nice touch. I went for the Lola burger, made up of a thick scrumptious beef patty with a generous portion of crispy bacon, fresh lettuce and fried onions all sandwiched together in a brioche bun and overflowing with molten cheese. I savoured every mouthful, of which there were many as the portions were ginormous! The burgers and sandwiches came with thick triple-cooked homemade chips, which were fluffy on the inside with a crispy coating.

“It was a fantastic experience (for those of us who weren’t counting calories!)�

It was the kind of place where everyone really struggled to pick one thing on the menu as everything looked so appetising, but at the same time no-one was disappointed with what they chose. It was a fantastic experience (for those of us who weren’t counting calories!). The waitresses were attentive and the food was second-to-none. However, what set this place apart was the vintage decoration and comfortable atmosphere. Foody Foddy thoroughly recommends. 1-3 Market Street, NE1 6JE

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ave you ever found yourself out one night in a strange place wondering why you’re the only one not wearing a white t-shirt and jeans? Or why you’re the only one not sporting that haircut? Newcastle’s nightlife is nationally recognised as one of the best but with so much choice how do you know where you fit in? Don’t sweat it, here’s the breakdown of how to find your tribe. 1. For the Hipsters looking to find the ‘real’ music you pine after when listening to the main stream noise on a night out, the best clubs to be in are either Think Tank on a Rebel Thursday or The Cut on Wednesdays or Fridays. They’re the only place where your vintage-inspired wide frame glasses will steam up on impact of entrance and no one will be able to take their eyes off your t-shirt and tie combination, for all the right reasons. You can wear your Grandad’s clothes, and feel incredible because everybody else will be dressed in their charity shop classics too, (or the faux retro from Topshop at the very least, darling). Be prepared for lots of air kissing and too-cool-for-school head bobbing. You won’t even feel like you’ve left your flat as you trip over beer bottles whilst dancing audaciously to generations of indie classics.

“No one will be able to take their eyes off your t-shirt and tie combination for all the right reasons�

2. For those on the pull the classic spot is of course Tiger Tiger with 3 floors and 5 rooms you can scout out the hottest specimen then pounce and following rejection move shamelessly into the next room to try again. Tiger Wednesdays are prime time to watch the desperate ‘moves’ of grinding clubgoers, attempting to pull the generic assortment of

zoo animals/members of girl bands/unidentifiable fancy dressed individuals that populate the club. Moreover it’s not too far from most university accommodation so if you do get lucky they probably won’t have sobered up and had to reconsider that they might have to do the walk of shame dressed fancy dress and all by the time you get home.

the easily shocked. 4. For the extras from Made in Chelsea I know it’s sad that there wasn’t a spot for you on the show but that doesn’t mean you can’t still don your classy tight dress and high heels and drink cocktails from a plastic cup in Tup Tup Palace. It does sound ever so glamorous, though I sure hope that isn’t high street apparel I can see. Dust off the fake Kurt Geigers and gussy up to come here. Maybe you’ll even see a few ‘famous’ faces from Geordie Shore lurking in the VIP area. On second thoughts maybe it’s a good thing the camera crew aren’t here!

“Flares is the place to go if you want to dance under the beautiful fractured light of a disco ball... reliving your school disco fantasies �

3. For the hard core partyer after a good Sunday catch up on sleep and the latest Netflix series it’s time to hit Digi hard on a Monday, for a night that you will definitely regret the next morning in lectures- that is if you make it in, you might still be out on the streets searching for your house key or desperately calling the bank in the hope that they will understand you having blown the whole student loan on trebles. Or else, give yourself the weekend to recover and hit up an event at Cosmic Ballroom or World Head Quarters for a long night of sweaty, grimy music and a disregard for personal space. Never boring and always an exhilarating buzz of a rave, these venues aren’t for the faint-hearted or for

5. For those who don’t want to grow up remember the good old year 7 disco days listening to music your parents approved with the occasional Shakira track for good measure. Flares is the place to go if you want to dance under the beautiful fractured light of a silver disco ball, getting drunk off the atmosphere and your favourite flavour of WKD (erm the blue one, just saying) and reliving your 11 year old school disco fantasies. Here you don’t even have to pretend that you don’t know all the words to One Direction’s first album. You can crack out the synchronised 90s girl band dancing without fear of reproach or intimidation. And if you know all the words to Rick Asteley’s Never Going to Give You Up you’re a hero, a legend amongst humankind as opposed to a loser. After all you’re out past your bed time drinking alcohol so you must be cool.

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et’s be honest, when it comes to topics like how to battle homesickness, you would really prefer the writer to be experiencing it at the present moment, as he or she is writing this article. Not a second year or third year senior who writes from the perspective of ‘what I can remember when I was a homesick first year’. Secondly, I am a fresher, an international student from Singapore so yes; homesickness is still a very fresh and a sore reminder. Now, if I have your attention, here’s some tips to battle homesickness: 1. Study Yes, it’s nerdy and makes you look like you don’t have a social life. These things happen when your friends have different seminar times from you, others may be from an entirely different degree major! This is the hard truth! Breathe in that aromatic coffee smell and get started on that assignment early or make notes for an upcoming exam this semester. Trust me, by the time you finish researching for materials or finally figure out what genetics is really about, a good part of the afternoon would have rolled by. 2. Make plans for the upcoming holidays

Bottom’s up!

Who is happy that Christmas is coming? I know I am! I’m going home! Therefore, much time is spent on researching which Coach or Rail Company is more value for money so that I can reach London in the quickest time possible. But for those who are going to enjoy a white Christmas in Newcastle, you can visit the Christmas markets, catch a pantomime or plan a trip to London to join in the festivities.

“Chatting over the kitchen table with a lemon drizzle cake and a bag of crisps gives a homely vibe �

3. Engage in some recreational activities Watching Korean dramas is my personal favourite whenever I feel weepy. For you, it could be snuggling up on your sofa with a good book. If you are the outdoorsy type, you could always take a walking tour around Newcastle, pop into a cafĂŠ and people-watch. 4. Gather a few friends over to your flat

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Normally only a quick loo stop when

Fiona Callow one gets caught short between one bar and the club. The decor is what one tells us the best would describe as ‘dingy chic’ or just ‘a bit shit’ but the drinks are cheap, bars to suit it’s worth getting a shot for the road. your budget (however limited it may be)

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You probably wouldn’t know many people yet, unless you are the extremely outgoing type who gets invited to flat parties every night. Having a few new friends over is the beginning of a blossoming friendship, chatting over the kitchen table with a lemon drizzle cake and a bag of crisps gives off a very homely vibe. 5. Reach out to family and friends back home Don’t forget your support system back at home; keep in contact regularly, but not 24/7, of course! You need your space to grow and adapt to the new surroundings. Being overly clingy could backfire drastically; you might end up flying home immediately. Instead send loads of photos to make them envious! However, there is nothing wrong with chatting with a friend in Swansea until the early hours of the morning. There is no secret formula to erase or cure homesickness; it sneaks up on you and lingers for days so all you can do is learn to cope with it. Nobody ever said that it was easy and it’s a case of letting nature take its course when it comes to adapting, so take as much time as you need. Give thanks for every happy moment and remember: you are not alone.

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If you’re looking for the wow factor (perhaps you’re trying to woo a poor unsuspecting individual) look no further. But perhaps don’t look at the prices, just grit your teeth :;*$=&5&2,.5 and splash out for that martini. Shaken not stirred. The Botanist instantly gets the stamp of approval for incorporating shrubbery into their decor, and a string of fairy lights can go a long way. The cocktails are so fruity, you can almost convince yourself they’re good for you.

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!"#$%&'()*$' Rant of the Week How to spot a ‘Rah’ !",&01(23()45&#(1&*&'($ %)&#($+/$&#("+&06&"%$+,!+$ )"&=)($>-((#$/0$*+)#("+ In general the common or garden variety of ‘rahs’ do not orignate from Newcastle or even the top half of the country. Rahs originate mainly from the South or London, and at a push if the rahs do stray from the South, Scotland is the place to be. Anything north of London may as well be equivelent to Beyond The Wall on Game of Thrones with all Northern folk therefore being gruff John Snows’ who indeed know nothing. To spot this aspect of the rah, look for those who struggle with the Geordie slang and the ‘arctic conditions’. In Newcastle the home of the Rah seems to be Castle Leazes halls. 1) The clothes The modern rah is less about the sparkle of the signet ring, deck shoes and pearls. No Alice band on neatly curled hair, the look these days is Gap Yah crop tops mixed with ripped jeans and Nike Air Max shoes. The main style appears to be homelessness, as a recent Yik Yak wrote ‘Castle Leazes, where the people who look homeless are the ones with the richest parents’. So look out for ill fitted baggy clothing and definitely styled, but not brushed hair. For the male rah’s spot the travelling piercings, which of course ‘Mummy’ does not approve of, and the backwards cap.

“The look these days is gap yah crop tops mixed with ripped jeans and Nike Air Max shoes. The main style appears to be homelessness”

2) The clique All rahs flock together to uni together already in a clique, including their school friends, mutual friends and travelling friends (met of course during self-exploration in South East Asia). To make your way in join the rugby or lacrosse teams. Or to find one of these elusive groups head to Castle Leazes and look out for a cluster of small, blonde, smoking girls with two French plaits or lads hanging out with half an eyebrow shaved off. 3) The attitude Obviously on the whole rahs are lovely people and do not judge a rah, for simply being a rah! There can be the tendency however for certain cliques to judge others, even of similar rah background, and look down their noses at anyone else not in their group. If this has happened to you, do not worry and do not fret! It is probably not intended to be rude, simply the rah in question is just busy scanning the room, trying to find someone to be seen to be seen with. A way to spot this rah behaviour: two air kisses and the line ‘how lovely to see you darling’, before moving on to the next person they ‘know’.

“On the first night of Freshers a rah exclaimed to me ‘Eugh Greggs what a hole, who goes there?’ which says it all really.” 4) The chat It is not only the voice that will set alarm bells ringing and help to single out a rah, listen to the conversation. They either will be discussing nights out, who knows who and how much money Daddy gives you a month. If anyone asks you to say their name on the guest list for a club and try to ply you with a free bottle of vodka, you can be sure that they are probably are a rah. On the first night of Fresher’s a rah exclaimed to me ‘eugh Gregg’s what a hole, who goes in there?’, which says it all really, a comment such as this is sure to help you suss out the obvious.

Monday 2 November 2015

The Courier

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kay, admit it, we’ve all been there (or at least heard about someone who’s been there). You wake up, roll over and the memories of the night before come flooding back faster than you can stop the room spinning. In the ideal situation, this person will be flawless, and you’ll gaze at them glowing angelically in the aftermath of what was an amazing night after which you’ll spend the day making pancakes and watching films. But, let’s be honest, it’s not usually totally like that. You may be wondering how you ever found them attractive, they may be snoring louder than the heavy metal your neighbour plays at 3am, or worse, you may have ‘forgotten’ about your significant other who will no doubt be ringing you any minute. But what do you do? How do you get rid of the one night stand? You may be fortunate enough to have ended up in their house, in which case, grab your clothes and run (don’t leave anything behind or you’ve got an excuse for a stalker), but we’re not always that lucky. You’ll have heard the typical excuses, get a friend to call with some pretend emergency scenario, wake them up while crashing around loudly so

as not to be late for your ‘appointment’. But we wanted something more, we wanted to know the real innovative excuses some of the BNOCs had used after their expeditions in order to pass them to you less experienced competitors in the hope that people might actually believe them, and here’s what we came up with. NB: If you want to see this person again or have more than a few mutual friends, do not follow these options. Make them coffee and take their number, these aren’t for those with a fragile reputation.

“They may be snoring louder than the heavy metal your neighbour plays at 3am.”

Option 1: Phone the nanny. Tell them you’re really sorry you slept in but you’re on the way to collect baby Jordy now, didn’t they know university catered for young parents too? Boys – change nanny to the ex. Option 2: Get the cup out. Most STI clinics have

endless free chlamydia home testing kits just waiting for you to pick up and have ready for when your conquest wakes up and you need to know if they’re clean or not. Yes, we know you used protection but you’ve heard what’s going around campus and you need to be safe. Option 3: Embarrass yourself. You may not want to but if this person’s someone you really don’t want to see again, go all out. Tell them you want to get married, how you’ve never met anyone like them. If they’re not out the door quicker than we can say mistake then you’ve got yourself a fiancé! (Sorry) Whichever one you decide to use next time your morning doesn’t go quite to plan, we wish you the best of luck. And once you’ve perfected the art of pulling and you become a regular onenighter you can even start playing the game the night before: the subtle hints about that 9am lecture that meant you really shouldn’t be out tonight, the tactical garlic sauce you had with the pizza on the way home. Once you really get into it, the possibilities are endless. Be original, and most of all enjoy your lazy mornings, alone!

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Sandyford

You just can’t beat Sandyford. It’s cheaper than Jesmond and closer to Uni than Heaton, so you can have a longer lie-in than some of your friends and have more money to spend on trebles (or books) than the others. Take a stroll down the main street – Starbeck Avenue – and you’re surrounded by sandwich shops, takeaways, and the Italian Café Sapori. A quaint Victorian terraced house on a street lined with cherry trees awaits your arrival, along with a parking spot for that inevitable housemate who brought their car: invaluable for an emergency trip to nearby Asda. Newcastle’s home of wacky cocktails, Mr Lynch, is only a five minute walk away. For some time to relax or when you fancy a weekend run, there’s the

soothing Jesmond Dene. Alternatively, turn up to Heaton Park on a Saturday and you can have a go at tightroping. Getting into toon isn’t a problem, either. A taxi takes less than five minutes, but Sinners is easily walkable for when you need a weekday vodka fix. Overall, you can’t go wrong with Sandyford: it’s accessible, affordable, and accommodating. Jesmond seems to get a lot of stick, with students

Jesmond complaining they’re already poor and don’t want to pay the extra cost (which isn’t even much more than Sandyford), but living in Newcastle’s most popular student suberb is definitely worth the price. With countless bars lining Ozzy road, as well as a plethora of restaurants serving anything you could ask

for – at a budget price in the case of Francesca’s or Avanti – what else would you want as a student? But it gets better. Unlike your counterparts in Sandyford and therefore have to walk for at least 15 minutes to get to pre-drinks, chances are you’ll only have to walk to the next street. You also get those Sandyford-ites complaining it’s too far from uni - not really, 30 minute walk at the most, and it’s quite nice to get some fresh air on the way to your Thursday morning 9am lecture. If you’re one of those that’s feeling a bit lazy though and would prefer to metro it, the station is right on your doorstep. And people can hardly complain about the extra cost of getting the metro, £26 a month for a student is an absolute steal. If you’re sociable and like having fun, there are 0 reasons why you wouldn’t live in Jesmond.

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FemSoc

alking into the FemSoc’s first discussion I was filled with a mix of excitement and nerves. On the one hand I was looking forward to debating and learning about an essential issue in today’s politics. However, I was also feeling dubious as to what the society would actually be like. But FemSoc is a group made up of cool and laid back people all interested in the same issue. It is a ‘safe space’ where anything can be discussed and no discrimination is present. ‘Feminism 101’ turned out to be a meeting to get to grips with the details and definitions of feminism and all connected issues. Safiya and the other committee members made everyone feel welcome and engaged us all with their obvious friendship and interest. We also discussed pop culture and the media. We thought about our reaction to Emma Watson’s ‘HeForShe’ campaign and whether it was a strike of brilliance or stupidity. The recent Sisters Uncut storm of the London premiere of ‘Suffragette’ was focused on in great detail. The thing is Feminism is wildly topical! Anything from my English set text

of Jane Eyre or the pop Queen Beyoncé rave about it! The society has so many different aspects which are available to all. There are socials every other week for example an upcoming event is the ‘FemSoc Halloween Pyjama Party’. The feminist society also has a great emphasis on self-care and body positivity. The FemSoc society is fun, wacky and all encompassing. It is a place where you can go and really talk and learn without any scruples or judgement.

20 minutes

What’s not appealing about the 20 Minute Society? If you’re into spontaneity, but don’t feel you can handle commitment every single night, this

society is the one for you. With socials at least once a month, members that are all up for having a laugh and an extremely discounted holiday every year, the £6 membership fee for the entire year just makes the 20 Minute Society that much better. The only catch is you only have 20 minutes to get to the social! Past socials have included ice skating, battlezone lazer, ghost tours and bar crawls, and with over 500 students being part of the society, there’s always a great turnout. The society will email you within the week of the social letting you know which day it’s going to be on (so at least you have some idea of when to keep free in your diary), and then simply send a text out on the day of the social letting you know what is it and where to be. The total surprise about what you’re going to be doing is all part of the fun. Furthermore, past 20 Minute holiday destinations have included Dublin, Barcelona, Bruges and Cologne, and all the prices are heavily discounted by the society (at least 50% of the total holiday price, if not more!). The society doesn’t tell you where your holiday destination is going to be until you get to the airport either, keeping you in suspense that much longer! So, if you’re up for a bit of fun, this is definitely the society to join.

The Courier

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Monday 2 November 2015

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ooking through glossy university brochures as an eighteen year old sixth form student makes university appear fun and exciting. However, there are a few facts you need to know that the brochures don’t tell you. 1) It’s ok to be clueless When arriving at university, many new students expect to make an instant connection with flatmates and go on to have an amazing time in an exciting new city. In reality, as fun as it can be, many discover that nobody actually knows what they are doing.

“As exciting as the new city you are in may be, you will undoubtedly feel like a foreigner” While your flatmates are perfectly nice, you have only known them for approximately four hours. Whilst you may be ousting your darkest secrets in a boozy ‘Never Have I Ever,’ friendships aren’t made in an instant. It is normal for a night out with them to feel surreal; and as exciting as the new city you are in may be, you will undoubtedly feel like a foreigner. 2) North Vs South If you’re from the South and going to a university up North be prepared to be compared to the following people: the Queen, a variation of characters from Downton Abbey, the Queen, anyone from Made in Chelsea, the Queen…. And people will assume you have a butler. Similarly from the North you are all descendent from coal miners and have added spectaular and unnecessary words to the English language.The divide is very much real. Embrace it. 3)Naps and takeaways are key to survival

As you get further into Freshers’ week, the ability to stay awake during the day will come as a struggle and you will find yourself scheduling regular naps into your day. However, the desperation to make friends can overtake the urge to sleep as you will find yourself participating in activities that you simply do not want to do. You will feel obliged to go to someone’s halls for a coffee, in case said friend goes off the radar and you end up alone and miserable for the rest of the year. Consequently, cooking dinner is out of the question as you have used up a year’s supply of energy in the space of a week. Being a Fresher IS exhausting, and people wonder why we sleep all the time. With our focus on friends, food takes a backseat and takeaways become a regular occurrence throughout the year, making the ‘Freshers’ Fifteen’ all too real. 4)All nighters are a thing You may have worked hard during your A levels, and vowed to continue this work ethic as you’re at a prestigious university doing important work. This won’t last long as the nights out are too tempting and, inevitably, you will start writing important essays the night before…frequently. Drunken seminar reading anyone?

vault filled to the ceiling with gold. Topped with an overdraft you will feel like Alan Sugar before spending it all on trebles in a week and living off pot noodle and pasta until the next student loan instalment. Incidentally, anything free – no matter how useless or impractical – must be taken. 6)Responsibilities Reality will hit you like a cold smack in the face. With mum gone, you will have to face doing the washing and cleaning yourself - and that includes being able to use the appliances and buying the equipment to do so. Precious money will be spent on mundane items such as washing up liquid, laundry tablets and toilet roll. You even have to pay to use the halls’ washing machine! As a result, you will hoard an absurdly large pile of dirty clothes before shoving it all into one washing machine. Although university seems like a series of mistakes and life lessons, you will meet some amazing people and it will be the best years of your life. Honest.

“Cooking dinner is out of the question as you have used up a year’s supply of energy in the space of a week”

5)Budgeting? Every year you will give yourself a budget and every year you will fail to stick to it. Receiving a student loan is the equivalent of Harry Potter entering Gringotts Wizarding Bank and opening his

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“Tea with vodka will keep you nice and warm on your way to Tiger” 2. Layer up Your house isn’t a catwalk and your housemates will surely understand why you’re looking like yeti. The more layers, the better. Two jumpers is for a walk to uni, three plus a dressing robe is a home standard. Wool is your new best friend, especially nice, thick socks. Wear a beanie at all times- mum was telling you the truth, most of the heat really escapes through your head. 3. Make a fort It doesn’t take an architecture student, it’s fun

and it’s always easier to warm up a small space. Team up with a friend, build a megafort and have a film marathon inside. If you don’t feel like making an elaborate construction, just pile up all blankets and pillows into a nice nest on your bed. Add a laptop with Netflix, a huge mug of tea and snacks, and you are justified to stay there forever.

“Team up with a friend, build a megafort and have a film marathon inside” 4. Eat spicy food. If it doesn’t heat you up, it’s not spicy enough. However tempting it wouldn’t be, don’t order takeaway every night- the whole thing is about saving money! Buy chilli spice and add it to everything you cook (within reason, though chilli chocolate-chip pancakes might be interesting). My personal favourite is rice with veggies and a good pinch of chilli flakes. Cheap, easy and filling! 5. Exercise Cold makes us lazier, but get your muscles working! Have a Twister or yoga house night, spend some one-to-one time with your other half or just do ten jumping jacks after waking up. Define it however you want, but make it physical. There is a lot of sport taster sessions happening at NUSU, so it might be a good excuse to try salsa or karate. 6. Get out of the house Just face it – possibly anywhere is warmer than your house. Join societies. Go visit your friends, maybe they have better insulation. Become a pet- or babysitter and get paid to sit in a nicely heated flat. As a last resort, Robbo is open 24/7 and unless it’s exam period no one will mind you sitting on a top floor and Facebook-stalking (there is a film library there, too!).

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feel nervous, I’m in Mensbar, stood around with a bunch of strangers. Joining new societies is fun, but not so fun when you don’t know anyone. Hey, even social butterflies get shy from time to time, and anyway, strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet, right? Anyway, I’m in the right society for me, the Cocktail Society, or CockSoc, as they so delightfully put it. Right, let’s get down to Revs and consume copious amounts of cheap cocktails. Down at Revs I scout out the free shots, and gladly take one, hope this isn’t disgusting. Shit. I’ve only gone and downed the chilli one, this is doing nothing for my sore throat! My gums are burning, my mouth is reminiscent of the fires of hell right now, someone better call 999, summon the fire brigade and tell them to point their hose in the direction of my gob, and quick. I successfully take on two Long Island Ice Teas and win, despite their sheer alcohol content, I seem to feel fine.

“The night takes a turn for the worst as we head to Bijoux, I’m here for the £1 Jaegerbomb, nothing else”

4**1.'5#"-*#-*%"6#&"78*'"#&"/1* et’s be honest- there’s so much better stuff to spend your money on than gas bills. Unfortunately, we don’t live in California and if you think you are cold now, just wait- it’s only the beginning. Last year I had a pleasure in living a truly amazing piece of British architecture and on the rare occasion when the thermostat hit 15 degrees it was a reason for a Hawaii-themed party. Fortunately, there are some ways to make it better. 1. Drink warm beverages Drink tea, coffee and hot chocolate none stop. Buy a huge mug to make your trips to kitchen rarer. Just don’t hold your phone over it, I discovered first-hand that smartphones aren’t waterproof. Drink warm water with lemon juice and honey the first thing in the morning – it wakes you up and boosts your immune system. For pre-drinks, try mixing your alcohol of choice with a warm drink. Tea with vodka will keep you nice and warm on your way to Tiger and it doesn’t taste like alcohol, which is always a plus.

Diary of a Double Denim Drama Queen

You students know nothing about the cold. Try being killed multiple times and having sex in an ice cave...

From Revs, the night takes a turn for the worse as we bop across the road to Bijoux, I’m only here for the £1 Jaegerbomb, nothing else. I last darkened Bijoux’s doors in first year, it was a barren place, serving cheap ‘vodka’ drinks, with chart bangers blasting out. It’s almost as though they don’t want you to drink there, have you seen when they show the cast of Geordie Shore having a night out in Bijoux? I say my goodbyes and slink on up to Sinners, I’d organised a social for The Courier, TCTV and NSR, and as their Social Sec and all-round good times guy, I figured I should probably show my face at my own social. I enter Sinners, knowing that it’s full of people I know, and make an entry only I could make, I burst through the door- assume the crouching starfish position and shout ‘IT’S ME BITCHES’. One does love to make an entrance, immediately, I have people coming up to me saying my name - don’t they know that I’ve already learnt what I’m called? I look across the dance floor, and bloody hell, it’s only Sophie Bloody Ahmed! I scream her name and run up to her, tonight, I’m making a new star, and make a beeline with the rest of my friends to the Sinners cage, every Newcastle student’s spiritual home. By god, we rocked that cage, all with the help of some Sinners trebles. Inhibitions LOST.

“I burst through the door, assume the crouching starfish position and shout ‘IT’S ME BITCHES” Sinners was great, but now we have to get on down to MSA, to dance to some delicious disco beats. I love MSA, I was made for this, though I just can’t remember dancing that much, we just sort of mooched about, soaking the atmosphere up. At about two, me and my friend leave, and decide to walk around town for a bit ‘because people watching at this time of day is fascinating’, apparently. We wind up in a shady Bigg Market chippy, with cheesy chips in hand. My friend certainly looks worse for wear, the poor bugger. What a fabulously greasy and end to a wonderfully debauched night out. I can’t wait to do it all again tomorrow night, well, one must- one’s public can’t be kept waiting!

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Ricky Road

Marris House

The Courier

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If you can’t settle between luxury of an en suite and the party atmosphere of halls resembling prison blocks, then Marris House is for you. Okay, so the en suite takes the form of a scummy sink in the corner of your Richardson-Road-sized bedroom. But having your own personal plumbing to brush your teeth in, shave your legs over and occassionally stumble and vomit into does have its perks. The layout of Marris House flats are pretty awesome too; 3 girls sharing a bathroom one side and 3 boys the other. No toilet seat issues or mangy shower issues that would happen in Ricky or Leazes where everyone is piled in on top of each other. Not to mention the boy and girl division made for room to breathe and rant when housemates clash. On the website when I applied, one of the tag lines for Marris House was that there were a lot of gap year students here. Seems random, but actually this is just an indication of how popular these halls are. Gap year students tend to get unconditional offers since they already have their grades and so are put first in line for accommodation. In the future, where the gap yah travels, you should follow. Being right next to Ricky, you can be at the good pres and parties whilst also being able to fall blissfully asleep later on without blaring music constantly annoying you. It shares the main perks of Ricky; being one of the closest halls to the uni, right next to the sports centre and with the medic library just down the road which will be a blessing before exams when the Robinson library is chock-a-block full of seething Second and Third year students. Aside from having your own sink and sharing your bathroom with three rather than six people, the main way of setting Marris apart from Richardson Road is the communal area. The kitchen/ dining room / TV area (yes we have television too) is huge- great for pres and film nights, sometimes simultaneously. Marris has the best of both worlds. If you’re not too bothered about spotless bathrooms and having a kingsize double bed, it does offer you a less severe introduction to student life than Ricky does and yet you feel like you’re getting the same experience anyway.

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Where else can you casually bump into the infamous Debbie Dumpling? Richardson Road is the only halls where everything goes. From breaking the fire safety locks in the showers for the purpose to write in some fellow student bathroom ‘the chamber of secrets has been opened’, to finding a pigs head on top of the bins (watch out David Cameron), it is full of pranks. Ricky is renowned for being the most social halls, and I believe it deserves this reputation. After getting to know your whole block within months, due to the nightly pre-drinks it will make your first year memorable. Its location is prime, and within a several minutes walk you can be practically anywhere on campus. Proving you can rock up to lectures from just rolling out of bed, whilst the Fell cluster becomes a haven for the dreaded essays you’ve left too late. Being one of the cheapest halls and including a cleaner for you communal areas, with only a 38 weeks contract it helps fresher’s learn how to budget and live independently. Although when you receive your accommodation offer for half a shared bedroom, you must be rethinking the options. The walls are a little bit too thin, causing you and your flatmate to be a bit too close for comfort. However, the constant heating is a privilege that will only exist in first year; fresher’s make the most of it while you can. Once the original impression of a prison cell is overcome, and you re-move all your furniture again in the hexagonal room to make more space for ‘activities’ (from experience, no there is no practical way to layout your room), you will love Ricky for what she is. A social hub. Disclaimer: the events have already happened, please be original and not reuse ideas.

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Castle Leazes

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Castle Leazes is easily the most hit and miss halls in Newcastle. The proximity to campus and the city centre attracts many but only a lucky few get to stay in the newly upgraded flats of Havelock Hall aka Rah Country. For those who didn’t take a ‘gap yah’ however, the lowly jail cells of self-catered Eustace Percy await. Don’t fret though, despite the lack of communal space, your flat will bond over the freezing cold weather, mould and grumpy cleaning staff who insist on waking you up at 7am the morning after a night out because you haven’t tidied up after pres yet. The kitchens in the self-catered sections, usually shared by 10 to 15 people, contain 4 hobs, of which maybe half will work, and two fridge freezers. Really, it’s lovely of them to give you such a useless kitchen as it’s another catalyst for breaking the ice with your flat mates. In a room that’s approximately a metre wide, you get to know people pretty fast. If cramped cooking isn’t your style then opt for the catering plan which includes two school dinner style meals a day so you don’t even need to feel like you’ve moved on in life at all. The bar also serves a limited range of “food” along with fairly cheap pints if you ever fancy socialising outside of your usual circles (would not recommend). In short, there’s something for everyone at Leazes. It may not be the nicest of places but , student accommodation shouldn’t be a palace. Starting at the bottom means the only way is up.

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The Courier

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Central Link

Rated as the fifth best Newcastle accommodation in the StudentCrowd Hall Rankings, Central Link is a popular choice amongst students who are looking for spacious, modern and city-central flats. Located on Wellington Street, Central Link is in the heart of Newcastle City centre, across the road from the infamous St. James Park and just a short distance from the high street and Newcastle’s most popular student nightclubs. Plus, with a mere 15-minute walk to Newcastle University’s main campus, those hangover walks to your 9am lectures are short and just about bearable! Central Link provides spacious rooms with en suite bathrooms, meaning there’s no risk of having to share your bathroom with someone who is likely to leave dirty underwear and who knows what else lying around! Open living areas are great communal spaces, ideal for socialising with your flatmates, and for hosting predrinks and small gatherings. When you decide not to head out to the clubs, reliable and speedy Wi-Fi connection ensures that listening to your Spotify playlists, watching Netflix (and completing all of your uni work of course) has never been easier. Plus, with a large flat screen TV in every living room with Freeview, entertaining yourselves on a night in shouldn’t be a problem. With such a large amount of people occupying Central Link, and a courtyard connecting the three main blocks, it’s impossible not to socialise with your neighbours. Whilst Ricky Road often takes the lead in sociability and ‘partying’ Fresher’s Week in Central Link always see’s the converging of flats and the making of new friendships.

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Windsor Terrace

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The recently refurbished residence of Windsor Terrace is one of the closest accommodations to Newcastle University. With a 3-5 minute walk to campus, and the city centre just beyond it, you cannot get much closer to sleeping in the centre of the campus (unless you have an impromptu nap in the Robinson library). But even that wouldn’t be much closer than Windsor terrace, as the Robinson is right on your back door! The layout of the building has a very communal feel, having a huge central kitchen / dining area per flat (with a TV included!) The rooms are situated both sides of this large open plan area, each side having 3 rooms, a toilet and shower. The room allocations are determined by gender as each of the 3-room areas will have same sex occupants. The rooms either come as standard with a washbasin or can be ensuite. At a price of £96.88 per week (standard), this is a great middle ground between the likes of Richardson Road and The View, and is a happy medium between the traits of the two.

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The facilities are extremely useful, with a 24 hour laundry, a reception open five days a week, and a café, all across the road! One of the best things about living in Windsor terrace is the location. In those pesky hour gaps between lectures, where your course mates who live in the likes of St Mary’s will have time spent in limbo, you can go home and rest up or make some food. This is also a great way of making friends, as who would say no to a cup of tea inbetween lectures? But be warned: your daily walk past the library can be more of a guilt trip more than anything on your days off !

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St. Mary’s

To open on a blunt point, there’s really not that much special about St. Mary’s. It’s not the furthest accommodation from the city, and it’s far from the closest; it’s not the cheapest, nor the priciest; it’s not the most social, but nor is it boring. Situated in the less than beautiful suburban district of Fenham, St. Mary’s College is about as typical as halls can get. Straddling a comfortable middle ground between unaffordable mod-cons and unliveable squalor, its modest collection of flats will do nothing to blow the mind, but also won’t give you any diseases. The facilities are generally in decent keep, the staff are helpful and amenable and the grounds are well-kept. All solid points, but they don’t give the place a great sense of personality. There’s none of Castle Leazes’ prison-like aesthetic, or Ricky Road’s shameless grime. The only thing especially unique about it is the crumbling statue of Mazzer herself in the front. And it’s a fucking walk and a half, too. The more tight-fisted St. Mary’s residents will be reluctant to pay for the bus every day, and so it’s a jolly two-mile walk to uni. Shuttle buses at half eight in the morning and six in the afternoon take the pressure off a little, but if you only have a couple of lectures in the middle of the day they’re no good to you. So all in all, come to St Mary’s, even if the best I can say about it is this: it’s not the worst. Hell, it’s not even bad. And it’s a dynamite workout for your calves.

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Monday 2 November 2015

The Courier

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Kristina Bazan

@susiebubble

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Susie Lau

instagram @jekkahdotcom

ekkah: an unusual name for a brand, based on the Wolof meaning “to be beautiful or elegant” and “to be well-dressed.” It’s fair to say Jekkah clothing certainly lives up to its name. Founded in 2013 in Gambia, Jekkah offers a whole new twist on streetwear. With their flagship store in Camden, the brand couldn’t be further from Gambia - where all of its products are designed and produced - yet it fits in like it was born to influence UK style. Inspired by classic African prints, Jekkah brings bold and bright prints to daily wear and combines them in unusual and interesting ways. The originality of their pieces provides a new take on the ‘ethnic’ trend and their use of amazing vibrant colours brings real West African patterns to the rest of the world in the form of a modern clothing with contemporary cuts. The fabrics they use keep the essence of African culture, with all items made from 100% cotton African wax print materials, whilst still managing to incorporate a modern fashion twist. The brand aims to be accessible to people from all walks of life, and I think they’ve managed this beautifully. From bold, bright crop tops to elegant, subtle pencil skirts, they have really provided colourful clothing for every occasion, body type and age group. Their range isn’t only unique in its fabric design, but also in its well-structured nature which flatters all sizes and gives a very feminine shape to all its womenswear collection. The clothing also caters to every season with layer-friendly pieces that gives an exciting vibe to even the dullest winter day.

“From bold, bright crop tops to elegant, subtle pencil skirts, they have really provided colourful clothing for every occasion, body type and age group”

The company’s beautiful clothing doesn’t just end at womenswear however, as their menswear also conjures up quite a stir. It features bright shirts, shorts, trousers and jackets - a nice change to the many companies who skimp on menswear with dull fabrics and duller designs. The brand doesn’t just provide lively patterns, but a livelihood for all involved in the company. Jekkah creates jobs and sustainable incomes for its African producers, by using only skilled, local Gambian tailors. They not only pride themselves on making high quality garments, but also on giving back to the base of their brand; giving £1 out of every £25 of online sales to the ERASE foundation, a charity aiming to help impoverished children living in the rural areas of Africa. The company’s goal is to help put Gambia on the map and to be known glob- ally as a staple brand in African casual wear, and from what I can tell they are already very far into achieving this. You can wear any of their products with confidence that you will stand out and look fabulous. Every piece is limited edition, as only a small quantity is made in each design, so you can be assured you won’t be wearing the same thing as anyone else! Jekkah are well deserving of their endorsements by many big names such as Fuse ODG, Paloma Faith, Natty, MNEK and I’m sure we’d all love to add our names to the ever growing list!

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he glamourous instagrammer Kristina Bazan is my latest style obsession. Her Instagram posts of fashion filled escapades over the globe were made to inspire, and it seems like almost every fashion capital has been marked with her steps. From New York to Paris, this fashionista knows how to pull off street style with little effort. If you fancy the ‘It’ girl look for yourself, then you need look no further than Kristina’s Instagram - the pieces she wears will definitely make it into your closet wish list. The Swiss beauty has a Northern European elegance and luxurious style. Should you wish to emulate her style, look to independent boutiques for a bit of inspo, or Net A Porter if you’re feeling flush. The combination of impressive editorial-quality posts with her style results in the perfect place to mix the fashion game up.

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his young California fashion Instagrammer must have some kind of magical power, with a whopping 2.8m followers, she’s a big hitter across the pond. Almost every photo she posts makes it to the “popular” page, and her photos gather as many as 36,000 likes, not mentioning hundreds and hundreds of comments. The demure dresser’s posts are usually full-body outfits with accessory details and a mix of different styles, with an undertone of Californian chic. This sassy chick is usually found sporting various high end brands; from Louis Vuitton, Zara and Yves Saint Laurent to Dior, Alexander Wang, and Givenchy. Her Instagram provides a healthy dose of escapism for sunstarved Brits, and more practical inspiration with regards to mix-and-match dressing for her fellow Americans. The incredible range of her photos will no doubt continue to fascinate most of us, so keep your eyes out for her bold and striking looks for a daily dose of fashion inspiration.

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usie Bubble’s heavy and glossy black fringe has become her most recognisable feature, but her amazing wardrobe full of vintage, high street and designer fashion should really be the star of the show. As one of thousands of loyal fans on her Instagram, I have been strongly inspired by her self-made and unique ‘more-ismore’ stylings. Also, you can seek out fresh fashion inspiration when Susie heads off travelling to different cities, or great vintage places if you’re after more creative styles. Other faithful followers even include the famous fashion designers Christopher Kane and Nanette Lepore – the dream for any budding fashionista. However, to most people’s eyes, her personal taste comes across as a bit different, and perhaps even ‘ugly.’ Her looks are a mad cacophony of colour, chaotic print and texture. This London fashion maximalist who champions ‘wayward’ young designers has risen and grown to become one of the most influential fashion players on the planet.

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he Durham Book Festival took a multifaceted approach to its speakers this year. The most important talk for the fashion conscious ones was one from Lauren Laverne and Laura Craik, co-founders of The Pool (a fast paced website where you choose the amount of time you have to read what interests you) on ‘YSL: Style is Eternal’ in the Durham Town Hall. With this fascinating concept already at play, their take on YSL and his quote ‘Style is eternal’ was surely going to be interesting. For both speakers, the most incredible di difference between the existing world of haute couture and the Dior and YSL power houses then were that they were both led by a young Yves, only 21 when he became the head of Dior. A couple of years later and he created his own fashion house, led on by the Dior ‘New Look’ and his own more advanced ideas of the modern, stylish woman. According to both journalists, Yves Saint Laurent was the first designer to free women from their gender speci specific clothing, liberating the first of many generations. The exhibition at the Bowes Museum displayed more masculine, tailored styles than dresses, and the dresses that were exhibited were not particularly feminine. The Mondrian collection and the Schiaparelli inspirations both give rise to a more daring form of creative expression with clothing. Aft fter all, YSL’s Rive Gauche in Paris was made

even before Biba became the Topshop of today. The style aesthetic and clothing ideas that YSL became known for are some of the most popular in the world- masculine inspirations, beatnik fashions, blazers, tight trousers and pea coats.

‘‘It is not just the creation of clothes that made Yves stand out-his approach to women, and how they were portrayed was also very different’’

However, it is not just the creation of clothes that made Yves stand out- his approach to women, and how they were portrayed was also very di different. Models became muses, and they were not limited to just being purely aristocratic and white either. Dark skinned models like Iman jumped to fame with YSL- tall, slim, interesting women began to give rise to a kind of seductive advertising. With YSL came the banned Opium advertisement that shocked the fashion-conscious to the core. Of course, now that there are designers who visibly display all body parts- from tailbones at McQueen in the early 00’s to the more recent ‘ahem’s’ at Rick Owens, things are perhaps a little bit more desensitised.

Then again, this shock factor, according to Lauren and Laura, is why we look back on designers like YSL with such veneration. If anyone had created a collection like YSL now, they would be out of business- the advertisers are the ones who run the merry-go-round nowadays, as Laura reminded those in the room. The popularity of big Parisian fashion houses now is due to their freedom- unrestrained by money; they are able to create catwalks and collections that make their viewers tremble, especially at the haute couture level. Nowadays, the role of the woman in fashion has changed- at the time of YSL, nearly all of the heads of the famous fashion houses were men. With changing times, the emergence of women at the forefront of fashion became more normal- with Miuccia Prada, Pheobe Philo, Stella McCartney, Isabel Marant, Mary Kantrantzou… The list goes on. Does this change what fashion looks like? High street fashion is coming away from the careful tailoring that we associate with YSL, and for many, this exposition heralds the end of an era- the end of the YSL name and the end of high fashion tailoring, as Li Edelkoort told us earlier this year. Lauren and Laura both proposed that if we all revert back to YSL’s masculine staples then we might save the end of classic fashion for a little while longer.

The Courier

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Monday 2 November 2015

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“This two-piece is perfect for going out, and with a t-shirt that you were probably going to throw out anyway, you can’t go far wrong”

* Threads

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t-shirts: Topshop

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hinking of throwing out old clothes you have lying around but can’t bear to waste them? Here’s a way to recycle clothing into something new! I created this outfit with a big old t-shirt from H&M. The top I made was inspired by the popular Alexander Wang bralette; and there was just enough fabric on the shirt to make a high waisted skirt to complete the outfit. Instructions for bralette: - Print out a pattern online, or trace over a bralette you already have. Make sure you are tracing all the individual pieces that make up the bralette. - Draw a 1cm border outline around each of the tracings. Cut the pieces of paper out at the border. If your fabric is very flimsy, you may purchase some interface (Fenwick/Grainger market will have it) and iron it onto the inside of the fabric to achieve sturdiness. - Attach the tracing shapes you made onto the fabric with pins (or tape). Cut the shapes out. - Fold in 1cm of the sides of each fabric piece and iron the folds. - Sew together the sides of the

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Minna Higson

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Georgina Shu

Course: Philosophy Stage: 2

Course: English and Philosophy Stage: 1

Course: Business Management Stage: 2

Course: Combined Honours Stage: 2

“My sheepskin jacket is from America, it’s perfect for winter! My bobble hat is from ASOS.”

“I’m wearing a denim jacket from the Tynemouth fair, Denim dungarees from vintage fair in Frome, and a red checked top from Urban Outfitters.”

“I’m wearing an Adidas puffa jacket, a t-shirt from Stussy, and green Adidas superstar shoes.”

“My coat is from Zara and my top is from an online brand called Monki. Both my jeans and bag are from Urban Outfitters.”

hen did the ‘It’ girls and boys become younger than us? Photographed in this season’s must haves, it seems the offspring of the famous are becoming the fashion idols of our future despite their fame seemingly being fuelled by their parents’ stardom rather than their own talent in the fashion industry. A year ago, only die hard Johnny Depp fans would know of his daughter Lily Rose Depp; the latest teen that we are obsessing over. Dress someone with famous connections in designer clothes and it seems we all fall at their feet. Lily Rose Depp has 988k Instagram followers; a ludicrous amount if you consider her acting career currently consists of one film, ‘Tusk,’ in which her official role was “Girl Clerk 2.” However, Chanel provided the platform for her modelling debut - quite a big break for a 16 year old girl to get. What credentials does she have for her status in the fashion world? In my opinion, it’s difficult to think of any. With no previous experience in the industry, we can only assume her fraternising with those in high fashion circles is elicited by her father’s high profile. Style queen North West, one of the more recent of the Kardashian spawn, sat front row at various fashion weeks before she could even walk. She makes the paparazzi snapped fashion pages as much as her mother, Kim Kardashian, so is there any shame in taking fashion tips from a toddler? When they wear custom made Alexander Wang, probably not.

‘‘It is because their parents are celeb royalty, we’re expected to look up to them as fashion icons.’

Romeo Beckham landed the lead role in last year’s Burberry Christmas ad, putting him in competition with his forever stylish little sister, Harper, who has even been spotted next to Anna Wintour at a New York fashion week show. Their older brother, Brooklyn, is also making waves in the fashion world, gracing the covers of magazine giants such as Teen Vogue. Teenage girls everywhere swooned when he wore black skinny jeans and a white T beside Chloe Moretz last year whilst they were rumoured to be dating- because there just aren’t enough semi-fashionable teenage boys to Instagram stalk and hashtag about on Tumblr. The thing all these child fashionistas have in common is that whilst we crave their clothes and see them as fashion gurus, most of the time they aren’t the ones actually making the decisions about what they wear. They are being spoon fed fashion behind the scenes and sent what to wear, and because their parents are celeb royalty, we’re expected to look up to them as fashion icons. This is fuelled further by our obsession with social media, which makes stumbling upon an unseen photo of a celeb mini-me so enticing. Then there are celeb stars who seem to have no clue about fashion, (basically referring to Jayden Smith here.) One quick google and you can scroll through galleries of his ‘style,’ consisting of ill-fitting clothes in odd layering combinations. At least the Beckham kids are doing it right. Are these individuals the future of the fashion? Probably, yes. It’s easy to criticise their access to coveted clothes, and suggest that their right to tickets to the best events is granted due to their parents celebrity, but ultimately are these kids the only ‘celebrities’ who seem to be fashion famous without any fame credentials? instagram @lilyrose_depp

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Monday 2 November 2015

The Courier

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7DPDUD 'XI¿ HOG EULQJV XV WKH EDWWOH RI WKH EDVHV *2#3+2 Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer £25.00 Sometimes the original really is the best. Smashbox’s serving of primer was the first real HD primer to hit the market, and it’s been raved about ever since. It’s an oil-free, silicone primer, meaning it smoothes everything out and makes you look as flawless and poreless as humanly possible. Plus you won’t get spots from it, so that’s always nice! It makes your skin look so good, you can just get away with just wearing the primer, but if you do want to add a foundation layer you’re best to stick with other silicone-based foundations. If you get that part right, your foundation lasts all night and looks better than a Dominos does after a night out.

7LQWHG 0RLVWXULVHU NARS Pure Radiant Tinted Moisturiser £29.00 This stuff is like a bit of magic in a bottle. I suppose there is the argument that tinted moisturisers and bb creams are the same, but they’re not. Tinted moisturisers are slightly lighter in their consistency. So, if you’ve woke up and your skin is having a good day, this will make it look even better. It’s also meant to help lighten blemish marks, but even if it didn’t it wouldn’t matter. This stuff makes your skin look amazing, and as if you’re not even wearing anything. It’s also oil-free, so you won’t look like an oil slick by the end of the day. Then you can tell your friends that your skin does really look that good without foundation, if you’re that sort of person. I know I am.

44%52+63 Garnier Skin Perfector Daily All-In-One AntiAgeing B.B. Blemish Balm Cream £6.66 The beauty of a beauty balm (see what I did there?) is that it’s perfect for lazy girls like me. Sometimes you’ve had far too many tequila shots the night before and your hands aren’t steady enough to apply foundation like a pro. So, you just want to slap something on that does all of the hard work for you. Enter Garnier’s BB Cream a.k.a. the lifesaver. It conceals the majority of blemishes, evens out your skin and gives you a nice, dewy glow. All essentials for the 5-minute-got-up-late-rush. It’s also good if you’re not an extert at the whole beauty routine thing. Sometimes the extra ten minutes in bed is crucial, so anything that helps you get your beauty sleep has got to be purchased.

)RXQGDWLRQ Charlotte Tilbury Magic Foundation £29.50 This foundation’s been 10 years in the making, so you would hope it’d be half decent! Believe me, it really is. I have the most sensitive, pale, infuriating skin ever so I was a little bit skeptical. However, this foundation goes on like a dream. I usually need to powder my t-zone after I apply foundation, but I didn’t have to powder at all in the day. Its staying power is probably the best I’ve encountered (and I’ve spent £££ on foundations) and the shade range is amazing. Let’s just say, nine times out of ten there will not be a foundation pale enough. In this foundation, I am shade 2, which is unheard of for me. It immediately disappears when you put it on your skin, and you’re just le left with amazing looking skin with no sign of foundation. The coverage is medium, so it does a lot of concealing work for you. If you spend your money on any makeup product, this is definitely the on to go for. I can promise you.

)LYH NH\ EHDXW\ SURGXFWV *'"+,+%-"#%.#/%01%JLYHV XV KHU WLSV RQ KRZ WR JHW UHDG\ ZLWK RQO\ ¿ YH PDNH XS LWHPV ??'?,"#8 Moisture, serum, sunscreen, primer, foundation, concealer… makeup routine used be a long, laboring process. But CC Cream, big sister of BB Cream, has combined all these features and becomes a one stop solution to flawless looking skin. CC Cream (Colour Correcting Cream) is less oily than BB Cream and has additional anti-ageing benefits. It can even out skin tone meaning it offers higher coverage as well. It can be worn alone or as a primer, either way it is long lasting and can illuminate your skin. For extra hydration, go for Clinique Moisture Surge CC Cream SPF 30 (£28); for highest SPF protection, try Chanel CC Cream complete correction SPF 50 (£44)

G#-=#,# There is no doubt that dark, curled lashes equals brighter, bigger eyes. With only one magic wand, we can easily create false lashes effect with just one or two coats. Apply the mascara as close to your lash line as possible to create amazing definition. To further glam up your look, dust some loose powder on top of your lashes between the first and second coats of mascara. For a non-smudging formula, try Benefit They’re Real Mascara (£19.5); or go for the Lancôme Hypnôse Waterproof Custom Volume Mascara (£22.5).

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(&"2,+;'H+;)", We may not all be blessed with perfect eyebrows like Cara Delevingne’s, but thankfully we can fake it with a little help. There are many products you could use: brow pencil, powder, gel or markers. I am opting for brow powder today, not only because it creates a softer look than using pencil so it will not overpower the red lips, but also because we could use it as eyeliner too - same trick we used with the lipsticks. Dampen angled eyeliner brush a bit and apply starting from inner corner of your eyes. Try Smashbox Brow tech trio (£17.5) or Brow Kit from Bobbi Brown (£36).

- check out more products until you find the shade that really suits you! Lipstick can also be used on cheeks in place of blush and save you a few bucks. Look for something sheer and not too matt. Simply apply a bit on your cheek and spread them with your fingers. Use the same colour you are wearing on your lips to create a chic look. Go for the nourishing Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick in Fire & Ice (£7.99) with added vitamin E and avocado oil; or try Taylor Swift’s favorite M.A.C. lipstick in Ruby Woo (£15.5).

Instagram: Narsissist

I")'J*<-%*=> As simple as that, all you need to look sexy and glam is a red lipstick. When it comes to colour, trust your instincts instead of following the trend

Forget about contouring (you can easily end up looking like you have dirt on your skin).The latest trend in the fashion world is ‘strobing’, which means highlighting essentially. Choose a highlighter shade that matches your skin tone and apply light strokes on areas where light would naturally hit your face: the bridge of nose, below and above lips, over cheeks and then simply blend it in. Strobing does not only make your complexion look fresh and radiant, it is also much simpler than contouring. Go for NARS Illuminating Multiple in Violet Atom (£29).

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ast month saw the release of the highly anticipated new MACnificent Me collection from MAC. Inspired by everyday MAC wearer, the collection was designed by a group of lucky competition winners to emulate MAC’s motto ‘All Ages, All Races, All Sexes’. The winners had all experienced confidence issues and then written to MAC about what made them MACnificent. Unfortunately, much like the majority of MAC’s other limited edition collections, certain products (like the contour and highlight duo) sold out immediately. With an autumn release date, it is no surprise that the collection is full of autumnal reds, browns and purples – all colours that are bang on trend this season. Having never tried a MAC paint pot before and not being a big fan of cream shadows in the past, I was skeptical about trying the Stroke My Ego Pro Longwear Paint Pot. However, much to the disappointment of my bank balance, I have been completely converted. I will justify the £16 price tag to myself by saying that this one product a) acts as a primer for other eye makeup - it does not budge throughout the whole day, b) looks amazing by itself for if you don’t have time for a full face in a morning, c) it incorporates the strobing trend perfectly, and d) it suits all eye colours. The Amber Times Nine eye shadow palette used here over the top of the paint pot provides a selection of heavily pigmented nudes that are perfect for make-up amateurs and professionals alike. One of the few products that will be available into the New Year, this palette is perfect for creating an everyday eye look, but also for making a smokier eye. At £30

it may seem a bit extortionate for a student but in terms of MAC eye shadows, which are renowned for their excellent quality, this is great value for money considering that an individual full-sized one is £13. Here you get 9 for just over double that price – plus, who ever finishes an eye shadow anyway? I would have to admit that my least favourite part of the collection is the blushers. Although wonder-

fully pigmented with great stay in power, I would say that for my whiter-than-white skin tone, they’re just a little bit too dark. Obviously, you can shake off the excess on the brush to only use a light dusting but personally, I want to just sweep on a bit of colour at the end of my routine and be done with it. Similar to the matching individual eye shadows, I feel these would be much more suited to people

The Courier

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Monday 2 November 2015

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ccording to legend, the holy grail has special powers, and is designed to provide happiness and eternal youth in infinite abundance.

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colour. If you’ve found yourself in this position after an amazing summer soaking up the rays, join me in swapping my Herbal Essences once a week for the Touch of Silver shampoo. Don’t be too spooked by the fact that it is actually purple, because the purple neutralises the yellow tones of your hair, leaving it a more ash toned blonde. Given that it also injects life and shine back into your highlights, and smells like you’ve been to the hair salon, what’s not to love?!

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YSL price tags? On a student loan? You must think I’m mad. I’m not, but I do know a good product when I see one and, in this case, you’re paying for the best; dewy, but not shiny, long lasting but not cakey: the cream of the foundation crop. The caked, ‘made up’ look is not one I wear well, but a foundation that covers a multitude of sins, yet still feels weightless, was something I thought existed only in dreams – until I found this. It was recommended to me by a friend who had witnessed me painfully struggle my way through the Boots make up counters, and yes, although the ÂŁ31.50 price tag hit me hard, I have had the same bottle for almost three months. As I’m yet to display an offensive amount of shine, break out or even feel it on my skin at all, I’d call that a bargain!

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The key to a flawless face is a kick ass skin regime, and this does not have to be expensive – it does however require you to kick your facial wash, or bar of soap and water (God forbid), into the long grass. Facial washes work for some, but for most of us, being stripped of all of our natural oils results in red, bumpy skin and actually leads to an oilier complexion as the skin has to produce more oil to compensate! Cleansing lotion, however, enables you to wipe away makeup with a cotton pad. I find it works best when you dampen the cotton pad so as not to drag the skin. And why do I choose Simple? Quite simply because it is an excellent product. It’s cheap and it works.

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The sun, sea and sand can leave highlighted or bleached hair very dry, but also a bit brassy/yellow in

Instagram: Yslbeauty

Summer in a compact; this product gives you a healthy sunkissed glow all year round. However, less is definitely more. Unless you’re of the same colouring as the Kardashian’s, brushing this product all over your face could leave you looking rather odd. But as long as you DO NOT apply while drunk or hungover, and do apply (sparingly!) in natural lighting this product could be your, like it is mine, holy grail. Apply under the cheekbones, near the hair line and across the jawline, for the infamous ‘contoured look’, or just a dusting across the cheeks for that ‘I’ve just stepped off the plane from the South of France’ vibe.

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ou don’t have to be caked in make-up every day to look fabulous; every model when they’re not attending photo shoots will adopt a natural look which will enhance their natural beauty. Below are some tips to achieving this effortless look, and when applying your make-up be sure to do it in natural light. D$!,%4%$%",03H".0B3$+S#%43+ Looking after your skin is important if you want to avoid getting spots, and wearing foundation every day can unfortunately contribute.It’s a good idea to use an exfoliating cleanser at night, multiple times a week to unblock any pores in your skin; this will stop you from getting acne. A good substitute for foundation during the day is some tinted moisturizer, serum or BB cream; all of these lightly cover any blemishes you have on your skin whilst giving a slight glow. A favourite choice for many models is the Laura Mercier ‘Illuminating Tinted Moisturiser’ in Golden Glow. U$S"0<4G, Even when you’re not wearing lipstick or lipgloss it’s still nice to make your lips look naturally voluptuous. Use a nude lip pencil to draw a line around your lips, going slightly over the line on your bottom lip to create a plumper look. Then fill the lips in with the same lip pencil; this will create the look that you naturally have buxom lips. :.$,;"S0$G0!.38, Grab an eyebrow brush and brush your eyebrows upwards to draw more attention to them.

Doing this rather than filling them in creates a more natural look and their undone feel will give the perception that you have effortlessly achieved this image

Y."&02;""T!3+"0;4-;<4-;%4+This is a beauty trick used by many professional MUA’s which is unknown to most women who apply their make-up. You can create the look of having prominent and protruding cheekbones by lightly brushing some grey eye shadow along their contours, creating a shadow which enhances your natural facial structure. U#%$.#<0;#4. Don’t create the impression that you have spent hours toiling over your hair with some straighteners or curlers; after washing your hair, leave it to dry naturally so your natural waves can be seen and create a middle parting to draw attention to your facial bones.

Instagram: caradelevigne D/$S-"S0"&"<4+". Highlighting the eyes just slightly by smudging some eyeliner on your eyelids will emphasise your eye colour. Kohl eyeliner works best for this rather than liquid. Use a cotton bud to smudge the eyeliner after you have drawn a line on both the top and bottom lid and then use some concealer to touch up any unwanted smudges, should you have any. You can also dab a little bit of concealer to brighten up any dark circles you have under your eyes.

&RQÂż GHQFH Many girls feel that without applying lots of heavy make-up they look unattractive, when the truth is that every girl should embrace their natural skin.

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efore the days when every girl on YouTube who owned Mac’s Ruby Woo declared themselves as a beauty guru, actual makeup artist sisters Sam and Nic Chapman launched their channel Pixiwoo. Since the end of 2008 they have uploaded over 500 videos and acquired more than a whopping 1,800,000 subscribers. Having both worked as professionals in the industry for more than a decade since completing a two year college course straight out of school, there are no two people better qualified to teach you the basics in makeup techniques, carry out honest product reviews or interview Kim Kardashian about her beauty regime. The best feature on this channel is arguably the alphabetised playlists of celebrity tutorials which are recreated to amazing precision. With most looks being relatively simple, at the click of a button you can learn how to transform yourself into your favourite supermodel, actress or pop star. They have covered everyone from Alexa, Cara and Kendall to more niche looks from the likes of Courtney Love and Helena Bonham Carter. You really would be hard pushed not to find at least one tutorial to suit your personal style. For those who are a bit more serious about their craft (or serious about their Halloween costume!), the Creative playlist contains videos which need a certain amount of technique and tools to recreate. From crystal beaded eyelashes to ‘face lace’ and eyeliner which may require an architecture degree, these tutorials are sure to get your creative juices flowing. Similarly if you are a big fan of fancy dress in general, you have fifty looks to choose from in the Costume playlist alongside era-based tutorials ranging from the 1920s to 1990s. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Pixiwoo also create content for makeup beginners. Although this includes the standard ‘how to’ videos as you would expect, it’s the tutorials which take into account different face shapes, eye shapes and colouring that really make this channel stand out from the YouTube crowd. Videos such as ‘Perfect Eyeliner for Everyone’ and ‘Easy Bronze/Gold Eyes for Darker Skin’ allow viewers to personalise looks to suit themselves, which a lot of beauty channels fail to deliver. If you are more interested in general beauty or life advice and chit-chat rather than spending your time working out which of your brushes is for the lid or the crease, Pixiwoo have got you covered. They launched a new series of videos on the channel last year called #TuesdayChats which features the sisters and a special guest discussing a particular topic. From skincare with A Model Recommends to more serious advice about domestic abuse with their own mum, Sam and Nic’s easy presence make these videos enjoyable to watch – and don’t require as much concentration! Pixiwoo’s growing empire now includes running a successful makeup school and continuing to develop their Real Techniques makeup brush range - which have been tried and tested and are both amazing and affordable. The Pixiwoo brand is booming and looks set to continue for many years ahead. These two women are likeable and engaging and most importantly, they really know their stuff. And just as a warning, side effects of viewing the Pixiwoo channel include falling into a bingewatching abyss and staring intently into mirrors trying to figure out your face shape.

“Every girl should embrace their natural skin, learn to love yourself �

Learn to love yourself! There is a common perception that to be ‘attractive’ as a girl you must be stick thin, but as long as you eat relatively healthy trying to balance out eating from each of the food groups, you’ll maintain a nice figure without starving yourself which unfortunately, most teenage girls tend to do through the perception of models

Instagram: Pixiwoos

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Monday 2 November 2015

The Courier

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rey Street - our historical jewel in the British crown has been voted the best street in Britain by BBC Radio 4’s Today Programme! As I stand by the beloved Earl Grey monument (‘The Monument’) on a clear, cold October evening I have no doubts as to why this would be the case.

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o I decided to enrich myself artistically when I chose to go and visit The Gallery at Tyneside Cinema for the first time and write this review. Squeezing the trip in an hour break between lectures, I found myself surprised when, after climbing to the third floor of the cinema and opening the heavy door of the exhibition room, expectation misaligned with reality. One: it was a solo exhibition. Two: it was fucking dark. But don’t worry, there’s no need to cue Regina Spektor’s ‘Hero’ from 500 Days of Summer.

“The Gallery space had transformed into a sort of mini-cinema” The Gallery space had transformed into a sort of mini-cinema, and, after confirming that I was in fact the only person in the room following a frantic neck workout, I settled down and watched the exhibition. ‘Cinesexual’ it was called, by the artist Ursula Mayer, and it was a double projection of two films on opposite sides of a screen. Both films documented the same series of movements as actors, JD Samson and transgender Dutch model, Valentijn de Hingh, change positions with each other, but from two cameramen’s perspectives as they face and film each other. It was very calming, a nice little place to be with one’s thoughts, and as I moved between the front and back of screen, not only did I think about my impending death by dissertation, but I also started to get a feel of what Mayer was trying to get at. It is about transcending boundaries: the viewer is in complete darkness like a cinema, but is not bound to a seat and is able to move around unlike the normal static experience of watching from a restricted viewpoint.

“Conventional markers of femininity and masculinity are taken away”

Conventional markers of femininity and masculinity are taken away by starring a tall transwoman and a shorter man both wearing nude colours. This, combined with the act of constantly switching positions, challenges the so-called confines of gender and our limits of vision. These concepts are played with as the performers move on- and off-screen, sending out that ‘there’s-more-to-what-meets-theeye’ message. The name ‘Cinesexual’ perpetuates this theme, as it is a combination of ‘cinema’, derived from the word for ‘movement’ in Greek, and ‘sexual’, relating to the two distinct sexes. But then again, I might be reading into things too much, I am an English Literature student after all.

“Once you were absorbed in it, you lost all sense of time ” So, as bizarre as the whole experience was, I found it very interesting how something so simple could extend to all these complexities. Also, how once you were absorbed in it, you lost all sense of time – plus it was for free, which is always good. What’s more, there’s the Tyneside Bar Café conveniently underneath it. The ambience is great and what’s cooler than a bar/café that has a mural of the word ‘DIALOGUE’ that is made up of actual dialogues from movie café scenes?!

Classical ridges mixed with 19th century stonework combined with floral ironwork cascading down the sides of buildings, and erected in the form of streetlights, transports me to a world of Georgian grandeur. On rare cloudless mornings and evenings it gains a glittering, incandescent haze exhibiting a surreal beauty. Be sure to take a second glance on a peaceful autumn evening when the sun just so happens to create a warm glow on the west side of the street. It produces a powerful image. Built in 1830 by Newcastleborn Richard Grainger, Grey Street displays a historical sensitivity, re-enacting a small centre of commerce. While modern day chain cafes and restaurants now occupy Grey Street, the classical building blocks of late 18th century and early 19th century architecture still remain. Having wandered down the infamous Northumberland Street experiencing the hustle and bustle to reach the head of Grey Street, the stark contrast between the two blocks is staggering. At the head of the street is Earl Grey’s monument, which is considered the most obvious meeting place among many. Commemorating The Great Reform Act 1834 the statue subtly hints towards the city’s radi-

cal political history. The street descends from here down to the Tyne River. With respect to the sinuosity of the street no one puts it more beautifully than Sir John Betjeman who notes: “As for the curve of Grey Street, I shall never forget seeing it to perfection, traffic-less on a misty Sunday morning. Not even Regent Street, even old Regent Street London, can compare with that descending subtle curve.”

“Newcastle has remained rooted to its traditional architecture”

With the ability to see all the way across the Tyne to Gateshead, I am reminded why this is the city I adore. Not only is Newcastle a part of the Northern powerhouse and has been for centuries, it is steeped in local history, which is embraced and celebrated. Unlike many industrial cities, where buildings have been destroyed and manufactured into modern townscapes, Newcastle has remained rooted to its traditional architecture. Year upon year, decade upon decade, local councils have so often considered 18th and 19th century buildings to have drained monetary pots, only for them to be demolished and for concrete jungles to be erected in their place.

“I am optimistic that Grey Street will continue to attract tourists from across the world ” With the Rugby World Cup 2015 attracting thousands of visitors from across the globe to the heart of our city centre, I have often heard visitor’s amazement at the rich magnificence that Grey Street has to offer. As a history student I am optimistic that Grey Street will continue to attract tourists from across the world, host fairy-light filled Christmas festivities and continue to be the centre for what happens to be the greatest city in England.

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he first volume in the Special Collections small selection of Medieval Manuscripts is entitled Saints Lives. I would love to give an overview of this manuscript however my skills in Medieval Latin are somewhat lacking. I was presented with a book backed in wonderful red velvet now worn at the edges. I then immediately proceeded to have heart palpations when I opened the book and the cover fell away from the spine. Not to worry, this just explained why the volume had been tied shut with a length of string. It felt incredible just to turn the old pages. A few seemed to be made of a thick hide, many pages were precariously brittle and objected to being turned, while others had grown soft and fuzzy with age. The first thing I noticed was the writing. Impossibly neat black handwriting filled every page in two columns. Each word was made so precisely and from what I could tell there were no mistakes or crossings-out, not a letter was out of place. I challenge any of us to accomplish this. I soon realised that in the background of all the pages was a faint grid featuring rows of guidelines. This was how the writer had achieved such uniformity in his work.

“Impossibly neat black handwriting filled every page in two columns”

The first letter of each paragraph was emboldened by the use of either red or blue ink. The letter flowed into the margin and each one was accentuated with

thin lines that looped around the letter and up and down in the margin. If the letter was red then the decorative lines were made in blue and vice versa.

“I was struck by just how much the writer must have cared”

I could almost sense the writer’s frustration when a new paragraph fell into the second column on the page and he was left with a much smaller margin that constricted his repetitive, yet elegant, drawings. Perhaps at the beginning of a new chapter (again I apologise for my lack of Latin) the first letter was transformed into something marvellous. The letter was at least twice in length as the others and considerably thicker. The blue and red ink had been placed side-by-side. In one instance red was used to create the foundation of the letter ‘P’ then the blue was used to build the surrounds to the letter. It was then I realised that the two inks never touched and not just in this design but throughout the entire manuscript. The inside of the letter ‘P’ was completely filled with blue ink to contrast the surrounding red. The symmetrical design featured four curving

lines spinning out from a central point. Each curve ended in the same frilly half-circles that were also used to decorate the first paragraph letter. These bigger letters all had variations of this internal design. Throughout my examination of this text I was struck by just how much the writer must have cared about this perfectly crafted manuscript and how much time and love had been put into creating it.

The Courier

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ire has been marked by many as humanities greatest ever invention. From the rubbing of two stones to the invention of napalm, man has always used fire as an expression of the most carnal sense of power- one untamed by restrictions of form or function. It’s no surprise then, that man found fire as an expression of the highest sense of achievement. The birth of fireworks, in 7th century China, as a means of artistic expression, have evolved exponentially and yet changed very little. Technology has inspired man to make pyrotechnics a full-blown spectacle, and at the same point, eliciting the same emotions of awestruck wonder. In India, widely known for their overblown style of celebrations, fireworks are closely linked with one of the nations biggest festivals- Diwali. As a sig of the incoming winter, Diwali fills all whom celebrate it with a sense of warmth and hope in a period largely defined by harsh cold. Deeply rooted in family, Diwali is for all intents and purposes, the Indian Christmas. Much like Christmas all over the world, two things- Presents and fireworks typify it, the latter being more prominent.

alike, come together as one familial unit and celebrate each other’s company. The fireworks, in all their pomp, are just an extension of this.

“The act of lighting fireworks within one’s own home has a deeper significance”

The fireworks bought are as varied as the pantheon of Hindu gods. There are chakras (fire wheels), phool jadis (sparklers), anaars (flower-pots), and the most sought after, the rocket. Operated by nothing less than a matchstick and a wicked sense of timing, the firecrackers bring with them a pulsating sense of uncertainty followed by a gratifying cheer of celebration. The myriad of fireworks proves more than just a spectacle of flashy lights and often-blaring sound.

They let every family member revisit days of their childhood, basking in the celebration of yesteryear while seeing their own children and grandchildren experiencing it for the first time. The contrast is sharpened by a widening generation gap, something that is healed only by the union of family and the sense that the innocence of childhood is not yet lost. Colours wider than the palette can contrive and sounds larger than life itself, eclipse the doom and gloom associated with the oncoming winter. Instead, the display of fireworks and the festival that it accompanies it acts as a celebration of the year gone by. In a world which is getting impersonal and complicated, the untamed grandeur of fireworks, in whatever part of the world, reminds us of a tradition that essentially brings us all together. A tradition, that transcends the divisions of culture and religion, celebrating what it is, that makes us human.

Fireworks, or ‘crackers’ as is the colloquialism, are bought by every family. Easy to use and fun to watch, the act of lighting fireworks within one’s own home has a deeper significance. The core ideal of Diwali, in the present day, has been about family and the celebration of togetherness. While large processions are common, a majority of those who celebrate it, young and old

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n my opinion there are two types of people in this world. There are those who will happily spend their days wearing heels and re-applying make up, whilst there are others who will opt for the more practical backpack and comfortable trainers look. As much as I deny it to friends, I fall into the second category of caring more about practicality than fashion. Yes, that is right, my ‘going out look’ consists of running trainers and leggings. The type of fashion, if one may call it so, that will send the Courier fashion writers running for the hills. So, I was ecstatic when I learnt that I would no longer have to endure a six hour coach trip down to London and pay eighty pounds (the cheapest seats in any major theatre in London) for a terrible view where one has to pay extra for binoculars to see the stage. National Theatre Live brings the biggest hits from London’s West End to beautiful venues such as Tyneside Cinema, which is conveniently located right at the heart of Newcastle and only a fifteen-minute walk from my house. It was at Tyneside Cinema where I went to see the encore recording of Hamlet, starring Benedict Cumberbatch. I was instantly blown away by the set of this particular production. In the opening of the play the stage resembles a luxury, bourgeois dining room fit with high ceilings, a great staircase, a chandelier and a long dining table at the centre of the stage. In the second half of the play, the luxury setting is destroyed by a bomb planted by Laertes (played by Kobna Holdbrook-Smith) and his soldiers. Dirt and rubble cover the floor, the chandelier hangs at an awkward angle and the actors have to climb a hill of soil to exit the stage. The audience are able to sense the havoc and chaos, by the setting alone. Overall the production is clever in capturing the great themes that run throughout Hamlet ,a play that was wrote over four hundred years ago, and does exceptionally well in bringing Shakespeare’s greatest play to modern audiences.

Looking for an easy original way to decorate your house for a party without spending a ton of money on decorations? You’re looking in the right place! I created this lampshade with materials easily obtainable at any local crafts store (i.e, Wilko). 1. Cut out strips of card, place one piece in the mixing bowl and start gluing other strips of card onto it to form the round shape of the bowl. Wait for the glue to dry and harden. 2. Remove the bowl shaped card from the mixing bowl and paint the inside with PVA glue. Stick pieces of tissue paper all over until covered. Paint over it with glue afterwards. Repeat the process around the outside when dry. (You can choose to use a hairdryer to speed up the drying process.) 3. Add superglue to the side of the lamp shade frame and glue it to the rim of your paper mache lampshade. 4. Layer tissue over the bottom bar of the round frame and repeat the PVA glue process making sure the frame is securely and firmly attached to your lampshade. 5. When dry, paint the top of the lampshade an orange and fade it to a yellow for added spookiness. 6. After it dries, wrap the yarn around the lampshade and the sides of the bottom to create a spider web look. Tape the first part of the string and last part of the string to the inside of the lampshade. 7. Cut the pipe cleaner into 4 pieces approximately 1 ½ inches long. Twist one around the other making a cross shape. Now twist the other two pieces around that so it looks like a snowflake crystal. Then, bend half of each leg down to make it look like a spider. Attach it to the lampshade by twisting one of the legs around the wrapped yarn. Use superglue to stick googly eyes onto the spider. Now repeat with as many spiders as you want to make. Check out www.thecourieronline.com for the list of materials! Christina Lau

Emily Burns

S

ometimes at uni it may feel like you need a passport to reach Gateshead. The journey to James Joyce & Sons, previously a bookbinding factory, will require a good map, a couple of phone calls, at least three modes of transport and perhaps a compass. However, on arrival at this beautifully raw and industrial space, you will be transported to Navarino Island at the southern-most tip of Chile and suddenly your perception of distance shrinks. Mario Pfeifer began his four-month research project of the Yaghan people (notably, the planet’s most ancient and remote indigenous people) not as an artist but in a search for a role to play in this small community. It is unclear whether he settles as an anthropologist, photographer, global activist, or simply a participator in living. The answer is left to the viewer, who is dynamically entered into a conversation with the exhibition.

“Pfeifer explores the relationship between local and industrial production”

“The myriad of fireworks proves more than just a spectacle of flashy lights”

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(8*9.'8:'14;' 188:3 ‘You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.’ - To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee All eyes on him, it’s time for his great performance; expectations are high. He knows what he’s doing. His music reads con anima but his eyes they do not match his posture - poised, - assertive - proud. His eyes oozing innocence, like a child disillusioned by the world, overwhelmed by the possibilities of loss. Con anima. He’s done this before, a musician of his time, too much to offer. As his fervor smorzandos - fades, so does his music, so does his soul, then silence. Con anima. He lost all purpose, - all meaning. He started questioning, perfecting, and it all went wrong. Con anima. The curtains have closed. The performance is done. What’s next lost boy? You held the stage, - the centre piece. I turned to you. We all did. Con anima. Olivia Wilson

With replica artefacts, sculptures of collected industrial items, and a centrepiece of a three-channel video, Pfeifer submerges the audience into Chilean society with simplicity. Pfeifer explores the relationship between local and industrial production, questioning how international trade encourages communication between distant parts of the world. This ambiguous inquest into human existence is on going through the exhibition. Constant juxtaposition, of the digital and the ancient; the central and the remote, raises concerns of our cultural existence.

“Minimal electronic bass melodies resonate the factory space like a dance”

We are not invaded with images of tribal paint, curious expressions, and foreign speech in the film as is popular with similar investigations into ancient, indigenous communities. Instead, Pfeifer’s filming is sensitive and polite. We see hand gestures, comfortable movements of factory workers and the slow pace of home life. This is set quite jarringly against conveyer belts in crab factories, fishing boats and indications of a greater industrial network. Contrasting the 10 000 year past of these people with contemporary technologies really adds depth to the concept of durability.

“Its presence in Newcastle plays aptly with the heavy character of industry” Pleasingly, tribal aesthetics are not totally lost. Ancient chants are laid over 1923 field recordings, percussion, and minimal electronic bass melodies that resonate the factory space like a dance. This contribution of New York-based musician Kamran Sadeghi confuses perceptions of archives and modernity. Approximation in the digital age to a humanity condemned to disappear has visited Berlin, Brussels, New York, South Korea, Brazil, as well as returning to Chile. Its presence in Newcastle plays aptly with the heavy character of industry; the proximity to a dominion of fishing hints that the experiences of these aquatic nomads are not as far from our lives as we consider.

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The Courier

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ately, Newcastle has been at the heart of a punk revival. From pop-punk to old-school punk-rock, the city is hit up by bands as varied as State Champs, Sum 41 and Anti-Flag on tour. The UK is home to a sea of home-grown talent. Bands like Neck Deep, Gnarwolves, and Apologies, I Have None are drumming up a passionate following, both in the UK and abroad. Punk is certainly not dead – it’s alive and kicking. The local scene is awash with bands that embody the punk ethos, and a community that wholeheartedly supports them. Newcastle’s most intimate venues are hotspots for local bands to showcase their talent – there’s an underground punk scene here in Newcastle and it’s worth being a part of. Skull Puppies are self-professed nerdcore punks, whose brand of punk rock revolves around D&D, self-deprecating jokes and a short but sweet residency at Nerd Hutch, a tiny gig venue located under the Newcastle branch of Travelling Man. Bares are a three-piece grungy rock band making their name with support shows across the city, and their own intimate headline shows at venues like Little Buildings Rehearsal Rooms.

“Over a year on from the first Stay Gold, the night has become a staple of the alternative clubbing scene in Newcastle”

Sabretooth Mountain Sharks are a ballsy trio of punk-rockers based in Bishop Auckland. Their sets are raucous and rowdy, their music tipping the hat to punk rock legends like Anti-Flag and Bad Religion. Mountains At Sea are an alternative melodic rock band making waves in Newcastle. In the vein of British heavyweights like Funeral For A Friend and Lonely The Brave, the five-piece play songs with huge riffs, bigger choruses, and a DIY punkas-hell outlook. Death To Indie are about as a punk-rock a band as it is possible to be. With support slots for bands like Reel Big Fish under their belts, they’re a staple of the local punk scene, and an electrifying live act. Somewhere at the epicentre of the punk-driven earthquake of musical talent, is a pop-punk clubnight that brings together bands, students and local punk fans alike. Stay Gold is a resident clubnight at the Head of Steam; on the last Friday of every month, DJs Phill Richardson and Richard Thompson spin the punk tunes their punters want to hear, from The Offspring to Yellowcard to Gwen Stefani (if you ask nicely enough). Sitting down with the DJs for a chat about their

“The local scene is awash with bands that embody the punk ethos, and a community that wholeheartedly supports them” venture turned into a hangout, with discussions on and swapping of bands, and plenty of geeking out about punk. Because these guys are fans, first and foremost. “We’d built a crowd after a few months, but the first time we did it on a Friday, we saw so many people that we knew – friends, people we DJ with, people you see at shows, local bands, people we knew from club-nights. And that was great,” related Phill. In term of supporting the local scene as well, the DJs are keen to get the word out there. “ We try and make as much noise as possible – we give tickets away to gigs at Think Tank and Riverside and the O2, and link bands on the facebook page,” said Richard. What started as an idea born of nostalgic musings after several drinks, turned into something special. Over a year on from the first Stay Gold, the night has become a staple of the alternative clubbing scene in Newcastle and that’s not just because they occasionally give out free pizza.

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arpaint’s Theresa Wayman is joining Hot Chip drummer Sarah Jones and All We Are bassist Guro Gikling to form BOSS, a supergroup that has just released their first two tracks: ‘I’m Down With That’ and a remix called ‘Mr Dan’s I’m Dub With That’. Supergroups have usually been a boy’s club of mainstream rock. The kind of all-star combinations that you’d think up as a kid, like Nirvana drummer and Foo Fighter Dave Grohl, with Josh Homme and John Paul Jones to make Them Crooked Vultures. These kinds of bands are looking increasingly outdated when you see the heightened flexibility in terms of creative direction and collaboration that BOSS is indicative of, which is emerging as the norm in the music industry. As an all-female supergroup, BOSS did not form with the aim of creating a band to deliberately counteract the patriarchal in-crowd of the rock scene. Rather, they formed because it was natural, through a sincerity that goes above the typical exercise-in-hype that makes the older forms of supergroups, like Them Crooked Vultures, old fashioned. I remember being obsessed by the Foo Fighters in my early teens and being excited when I heard that they were mixing together two of the best contemporary rock bands with one of the greatest classic ones. The hype was incredible, but I remember even in my young and musically impoverished state finding them wanting. Yeah they had joined up, and yeah they were making new music, but it was mediocre, they had done nothing new. BOSS does not suffer from this. There are influences from each of the members’ other bands, the dreamy riff that makes up the backbone of ‘I’m Down With That’ is reminiscent of All We Are, with a gritty Warpaint-esque bassline and Hot Chip future sounds. All the sounds belong and fit. This is because they are just fresher musically than a lot of other supergroups, they are from a generation that collaborates a lot more freely and

originally – not trying to maintain their previous styles from previous projects. FFS has twenty six studio albums from full-time projects between them, Atoms For Peace has twenty nine. These groups each have members who have established sounds and places within music and as such, just can’t match the creative agility of this younger generation. BOSS’ members are fluid in their collaboration, two of Warpaint’s members are engaged in side projects and their second album was made primarily through jamming and experimentation, Sarah Jones is fluttering between projects (she is actually currently on loan to Hot Chip from New Young Pony Club) and Gikling’s All We Are only released their self-titled debut album at the beginning of this year, now she is in a supergroup with two of the best current mu-

“As an all-female supergroup, BOSS did not form with the aim of creating a band to deliberately counteract the patriarchal in-crowd of the rock scene”

sicians in the world. Their ability to move from one project to another and their unwillingness to commit solely to one project, an MO that is becoming increasingly common, shows that they are doing this project not for the sake of hype and mutual fame that most of the previous, allmale incarnations of supergroups have, but for the sake of making good music.

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potify: a commercial music streaming service which polarises both listeners and artists. It’s the fat cat of the industry, with more than 15 million paying users and over 60 million subscribers. Those who have been unable to warm to the likes of Soundcloud, Apple Music and Tidal usually fall into the welcoming playlists of Spotify. The main debate surrounding Spotify is how little money artists make from it. Supposedly, each time a song is streamed, the musician will receive between $0.006 and $0.0084. Many artists have flat-out refused to have their records uploaded to the service; The Beatles, Taylor Swift, Radiohead are some of many who are unable to be tracked down on the site. Recently, indie folk player Joanna Newsom, called Spotify a ‘villainous’ service which ‘robs their artists’. Upon initial thought, I would agree with her – it seems incredibly unjustifiable on the artists’ behalf. But, what I didn’t realise is that there are countless misconceptions about Spotify which Newsom probably should have researched so that she didn’t come across so misinformed.

“Big artists in particular make so much money already from gigs, advertising, TV appearances and merchandise so what I can’t understand is why they’re complaining” Spotify responded to Newsom’s accusations by clarifying that in fact, they pay out approximately 70% of their revenue in royalties. This percentage is then split across the rights holders, in other words - owners of the music, depending on its popularity which I suppose is only fair. What’s more, Spotify is much more than just a music listening service; it’s a way to stumble across new music which inevitably helps out musicians as they get their sound put on such a popular platform. What I find slightly ironic is that it’s the well-known names which are

more likely to object to having their music on Spotify even though they earn more money from it. In 2013, a global hit record would produce $425,000 in monthly royalties whilst in comparison a niche indie album would produce a mere $3,300. Big artists in particular make so much money already from gigs, advertising, TV appearances and merchandise so what I can’t understand is why they’re complaining. Maybe this just reflects society’s drive for more and more money, which is a real shame.

“what’s more, Spotify is much more than just a music listening service; it’s a way to stumble across new music which inevitably helps out musicians as they get their sound put on such a popular plat-

In terms of the industry in general, it’s changed remarkably and rapidly; the musical era that we’re in now is almost unrecognisable compared to how it was for our parents’ generation. Society is becoming increasingly driven by the internet and smartphones which makes digital downloads second nature to us. Sadly, it’s just a fact that streaming generates little profit for musicians but Spotify is actively trying to change that. Plus, surely it’s better to encourage the use of legitimate streaming sites to dissuade listeners from piracy which is even more detrimental to artists. Since the introduction of Spotify it’s clear that piracy has reduced. I for one switched in a heartbeat from YouTube converter to legal streaming. If more musicians got on board with the service it could grow even bigger and make even more money which in turn will benefit the artists themselves. Spotify has so much more potential, it just needs a bit of backing.

The Courier

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eerhunter, although having been around for well over a decade, are a band I only really discovered last summer. I obviously knew who they were but they’d never really registered with me. That is until my mate Isaac played me ‘Nothing Ever Happened’ from their 2008 release Microcastle whilst getting ready in our apartment in Barcelona to travel to the Primavera site. I was hooked on Bradford Cox’s world-weary and lackadaisical vocal style combined with that fucking awesome neo-krautrock outro. I decided from that moment on that I had to spend sometime investing in this band and it seems that this discovery coincided quite well with the release of their new LP Fading Frontier. Opener ‘All the Same’ is misleading as it lulls you into thinking that the album shares the same kooky eccentricities that the effortlessly queer and fantastical Bradford Cox injected into his previous releases. The reality of the rest of the album is that it is possibly the most accessible LP in the whole of Deerhunter’s seven album back catalogue. ‘Living my Life’ is a poppy dream pop song, a little bit like something from the Cocteau Twins later releases. If we didn’t know Cox to be the morbid weirdo that he is we might mistake this track for some cloyingly twee song, created to make you vomit up a dainty little sound puddle of jangly guitars and a catchy refrain.

“If we didn’t know Cox to be the morbid weirdo that he is we might mistake this track for some cloyingly twee song” Morbidity is evident in ‘Duplex Planet’ when Cox sings of “going back again to the old folk’s home” and when he croons “after the body’s gone the scent remains”. It’s good to see that he hasn’t

Confident Demi Lovato

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stopped obsessing about death and decay, even though the instrumentation suggests otherwise. The eerie use of synths on ‘Take Care’ and ‘Leather and Wood’ are very reminiscent of Pornography era Cure as they haunt the listener with an abject soundscape, that is as obtuse as it is enrapturing. The main selling point of the album has to be ‘Snakeskin’, the first single released from this LP. On first listen it appears to be standard Indie guitar rock fodder but when we listen to the lyrics it is insidiously sinister. With images of crucifixion and references to tormented mental health, the track simpers with perverted malice that is understated by its musical backing.

“Possibly the most accessible LP in the whole of Deerhunter’s seven album back catalogue”

Penultimate track ‘Ad Astra’ is a shoegaze masterpiece that references everything from Blonde Redhead to Slowdive in its cosmic construction of aural beauty. It reminds us Deerhunter fans just where Deerhunter are coming from, as it is an oddball track that perfectly compliments the oddball persona of Cox and his troupe of melody makers. In the final track ‘Carrion’ Cox pleads “What’s wrong with me?” in the desperate tones of a dejected and shunned misfit. The song ends Fading Frontier with the dramatic urgency of Bowie’s ‘Rock and Roll Suicide’ from Ziggy, which is quite possibly the best final track of an album. While the album is not indicative of the rest of Deerhunter’s back catalogue it is a delightful treat to listen to and re-listen to some more. It is the sort of album that sets Deerhunter apart from the rest and if it poaches Cox and co. a new generation of listeners, that surely can’t be a bad thing. Jamie Shepherd

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Cocteau Twins - Heaven or Las Vegas Elizabeth Fraser’s vocals from haunted the 1980s with their impenetrable beauty. It was not until their 1990 release Heaven or Las Vegas that the band truly became accessable and entered the big time. Though definitely euphoric in comparison to Fading Frontier this album is evidence of when a slightly “out there” band makes the grade and makes it big. Tame Impala - Currents I wouldn’t go as far as to say that Tame Impala and Deerhunter are massively comparable, but both bands owe a lot to psychedelic rock from by-gone eras. Tame Impala are possibly the biggest avant-garde band there is right now and for fans of them who want to be challenged more, it’s about time you discover Deerhunter.

Thank Your Lucky Stars Beach House

Behind the Devil’s Back Fightstar

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emi Lovato returns to the fore with her latest album, Confident, and like most former Disney stars, she is keen to prove that she is more than a plastic TV character made for tea time viewing. The album gets off to a promising start, opening with the eponymous title track, a triumphant opener that sets the scene. It heralds the arrival of a new, more confident Lovato. ‘Confident’ is oozing with attitude; with catchy hooks that make the song sound scarily like a Britney Spears pop banger. Next up is what has been one of this summer’s biggest songs ‘Cool for the Summer’, again another catchy hit that exudes confidence, there’s a bit of a theme beginning to emerge. The ambiguous, overtly sexual lyrics delivered by Lovato have been perfectly put together to ensure that ‘Cool for the Summer’ remains one of the biggest songs of the year. It’s a welcome departure from some of Lovato’s earlier, well known works like ‘Skyscraper’, which had a certain vulnerability and fragility to them. It is refreshing to see Lovato coming back so strong. It’s just a pity that nearly every act is doing this sort of thing at the moment (ever heard of Charli XCX, Demi?). The problems start after the first two songs, every other song on the record could just merge into one, there’s no up-tempo poppi-ness to them, and they all sound incredibly downtrodden. It seems that she’s put her bangers away. In fact, I wouldn’t recommend buying the album at all. Save your money and buy the two amazing tracks that open this most disappointing of records. It seems like Demi Lovato got off to a good start and then she just lost her confidence.

n first impression Beach House’s Thank Your Lucky Stars seems like Depression Cherry’s afterthought. Recorded at the same time as their August hit album, Stars is an unexpected release to fans, so soon after Depression Cherry. Depression Cherry felt like a natural progression stylistically from Bloom- embodying that hallmark synth-laden moody pop sound we know so well, yet in Stars, they sound crisper, toned down. Victoria Legrand’s vocal power doesn’t seem to just be a “pleasant addition” to tracks like ‘Myth’, where her voice seems to only add another element as that of an extra guitar, for example. It totally captivates. She sits at the head of the table and she tells us her story. In ‘Elegy to the Void’ there is hymn-like wisdom and beauty, and it’s Legrad’s exceptional lyrics and haunting tone which helms the ballad, with help from off-key electric guitar stabs juxtaposed with lumbering organ. A chill is created and it’s not the sort of Cali surf-pop “dude, that’s so chill’- no, it’s one of those bone trembling chills. The band stated that they were driven by the lyrics and the narrative, rather than a creating an overall “vibe” they seem to focus more on lyrics and form. It’s political and it’s bold and most of all it feels honest. For me, the opening track on the album on Stars is a total red herring, it leads us to think this album will be Depression Cherry’s prettier and thinner sister, however the album is just the opposite. This album is one of serious thought, of talent and progression. And, to compare Stars directly to Depression Cherry would be foolish, it is a standalone success.

Jack Parker

Grace Herring

fter a four-year hiatus, Fightstar have had a busy 2015. From an impromptu tour to celebrate their 10 years anniversary, to headlining the third stage at this year’s Download Festival, Fightstar are well and truly back with a follow up to 2009’s Be Human. Their fourth full-length, Behind The Devil’s Back is a welcome addition to my record collection. Listening to Fightstar over the years is like catching up with an old friend – it feels like picking up right where we last left off. This is the first Fightstar record to feature significant song-writing input from every member of the band, and it makes for an intriguing listen. Whilst marked with Fightstar’s unmistakable sonic stamp, it’s something decidedly different. Soaring melodies greet the ears on opening track ‘Sharp Tongue’, juxtaposed with lead vocalist Charlie Simpson’s post-hardcore scream vocals. The fusion of fragile melodies and metal grooves are what make Fightstar so damn good. Charlie Simpson and Alex Westaway’s vocals blend well, but Westaway is given a rare chance to shine on standout track ‘More Human Than Human’. The jarring grooves and atmospheric build of the title track are classic Fightstar and a nod to older, heavier sounds. True to Fightstar formula, there are also some lyrics that walk the thin line between evocative and emo - ‘I could be your escape when you’re too afraid to ever notice there’s a light above us’ sings Simpson on track ‘The Blackest of Birds’. The quartet seem to have experimented with electronic elements – notably on closing track ‘Dive’ – hinting at a subtle change in future tracks. Whether transient or a permanent fixture – it works. Welcome to the new era of Fightstar – it promises to be an exciting one. Iqra Choudhry

The other day at precisely 4.55pm I logged onto Resident Advisor on a mission. A mission in which many participated, and few succeeded – to buy Hannah Wants tickets. Since achieving thid, I’ve had chance to come to terms with my actions and I’ve realised I don’t really know anything about Hannah Wants. I now ask myself why, at the time, did it feel like these tickets were the missing piece to my musical puzzle? And why, oh why did I fork out 15 quid for *that* one song, ‘Rhymes’. FYI Hannah, ‘touch it’ doesn’t rhyme with ‘watch it’. Putting my book of grammar rules back on the shelf before I get carried away, I’m gonna ask you upright – is Hannah Wants worthy of the hype, or utter tripe? (That’s how it’s done). During the process of purchasing, it seems a false hype was created by the rapid rate at which the golden tickets for Module’s 17th event disappeared. With phase 1 of 4 suspiciously selling out at 5.00pm on the dot, it felt as though few tickets had been allocated to this first phase to create the illusion that they were moving quickly. In Hannah’s defence, the whole event did sell out within a day which is impressive. But, is she just the ‘in’ DJ at the moment or does she really provide banging tunes? When I started watching her Creamfields set on Youtube the desire to cringe at the fist-pumping fools in UV paint was overwhelming. But, my heart skipped a beat as Gala’s 90s jam ‘Freed From Desire’ infiltrated the mix and from this I’ll admit she chooses her music well. Luckily, I don’t need to draw a conclusion on this matter as a friend already did it for me. ‘Hannah Wants is a good selector, just not a very good DJ’.

Preview: DJ EZ @ World Headquarters, 3rd November

This event has also been the cause of stress and excitement, with the remaining 50 paper tickets recently being scrambled over by students at Worldies’ box office. But EZ’s case, this is fully justified. If you’re one of the lucky ones who managed to cop a ticket, need I say more beyond the fact that you’ll be witnessing a complete and utter legend in the flesh? Having selected the biggest UK garage compilation to date in 2000, Pure Garage, this is set to be one of Pirate Material’s best ever sets following the likes of Preditah and Flava D. During his live events, EZ mixes up UK garage and bass music cuts with a few classics thrown in for good measure, and thus we have a DJ with a sound understanding of crowd-pleasers as well as faultless technical ability. It’s true that things were better in the old days so be grateful that EZ has endured almost 20 years on the scene. Listen to: ‘DJ EZ Essential Mix April 2015’ on BBC1

You Need To Hear: Urulu

Don’t let this leave you disheartened, as my chosen producer of the week is a pro at both. Urulu, also known as Taylor Freels, is of Californian heritage but abandoned the chilled glitz of LA life for the grimy authenticity of Berlin’s techno scene. Having played at Newcastle’s best-kept-secret warehouse SR44 at the end of October complete with live sax player, the city is now aware of the talent behind Urulu’s own melodic, bass-y house tracks like 2013’s ‘Things I Didn’t Mean’ which prides itself on a mind-numbingly percussive drop. As does year older ‘1991’, the hi-hat sound in this one conjuring up the sensation of floating away. Urulu’s recently-released podcast ‘Thump Mexico x Vicario ltd Mix’ couldn’t create more different vibes to this intense house, with its tasty bass guitar hooks and sultry synth-y Soul & funk. Here we have a producer who attracts the masses for the right reason, versatility, and not because it’s fashionable to like him. Listen to: Uluru – ‘Across the Sky’

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Monday 2 November 2015

The Courier

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ince it’s nearly time to remember, remember the 5th of November, gunpowder, treason and plot, it’s time for our mega fans and giant cynics to fight it out over James McTeigue’s adaptation of Alan Moore’s iconic graphic novel, V For Vendetta. Imogen Scott-Chambers and Ritwik Sarkar take a politically-charged look at what is perhaps the most anarchist film Hollywood ever funded...

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V for Vendetta is a relentlessly visceral piece of cinema. A dramatic dystopian diatribe from start to finish, it exhausts every emotion and leaves with Tchaikovsky’s Overture 1812 endlessly resonating in your ears. The film follows an initially weak Evey (Natalie Portman) on a journey to revolution after a chance meeting with a masked and cloaked vigilante, aptly named V (Hugo Weaving). Evey’s transformation is reminiscent of ‘bildungsroman’; she is pushed to the edge by her saviour and the orchestrator of the opposition to totalitarian tyranny: V. Under his unorthodox methods of tutelage, she evolves from a cowardly caterpillar into a strong, fearless and beautiful butterfly, prepared to carry out his dark and dastardly plans. The film makes use of a spectrum of bleak colours, emphasising the rainbow of repression caused by despotic rule. It is only at the cathartic ending that we witness bright colours signalling change. James McTeigue presents the audience with a crisp and classy tour-de-force of a film that cruelly haunts the memory and holds up a mirror to the western world. Imogen Scott-Chambers

=.$9>>2.?2 The gunpowder, treason and plot acts as more of a smokescreen that covers the shortcomings of this supposed cult classic. While you might not be able to kill an idea, you can strangle its interpretation with an over-nuanced and somewhat misplaced sense of idealism. Natalie Portman’s tour-de-force performance gets somewhat lost in the anti-establishment agenda of the film’s titular character, V. Though enigmatic in portrayal, Hugo Weaving’s V serves as the film’s biggest strength and weakness. The ideals he portrays are intended to overthrow the prevalent authoritarian regime. However, he fails to come up with a practical plan for the future to follow. Needless violence and the uncertain end of many supporting characters have many feeling more lost than inspired. The revolution that V intends is not the replacement of one system with a better one, but of cleansing with fire from where the uncertain tomorrow might come. Ritwik Sarkar

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f you can really stretch your depths of belief, I’m about to tell you something shocking. Bond is back! You already knew this? Of course you did; ever since we heard the first few snippets of information, everyone’s favourite agent has been everywhere. From posters on bus stops to trailers every five seconds, Bond has even appeared on the national news. 007 therefore, is not just big news, but big money. With Skyfall earning over $77 million in the opening weekend, it seems that the world just can’t get enough of that suave and sophisticated facechanger.

“Aside from being a sophisticated man, Connery’s Bond was also more effective than Cillit Bang at removing dirt�

Sean epitomised everything that is cool and, let’s face it, sexy about Bond. Pretty much always seen strutting around in a suit and bow tie, if the man was any more suave, the world would implode or something. Despite being in lots of scrapes, Connery would rarely have any dirt on him, let alone show any signs of injury. So aside from being the most sophisticated man on the planet, Connery’s Bond was also more effective than Cillit Bang at removing dirt. You just have to merely whisper ‘James Bond’ and someone will mention the legendary Sir Roger Moore. The king of one liners, Moore’s Bond was always cracking the best, and at times, worst jokes, all with a cheeky smile. His dodgy jokes are almost always matched in their ridiculousness with absolutely insane stunts. During Moore’s time as 007, he successfully used a horse to catch up with a plane, drove a speedboat straight through an on-

land wedding and completed a 360 degree flip over a river in a family car. Moore made Bond fun, a trait that was maybe lost among the seriousness of Pierce Brosnan. The best thing about Roger Moore is that you can see hints of him in Daniel Craig’s most recent incarnation. Landing the role in 2005, Craig’s Bond has followed Moore’s in always being involved in ridiculously complex stunts. This Bond is certainly not afraid to get his hands dirty, regularly showing his battle scars, whilst still demonstrating that charm made famous by his predecessors. Now, the debates about which Bond is best could go on for days; you’d be hard pushed to find someone who doesn’t have a preferred 007, and really there is no right answer. Regardless of who it is, our favourite agent will go on protecting the country. So, regardless of your face, you keep doing you, Bond, because it seems to be working well.

‘Face-changer’ is one description you would not normally associate with James Bond, but it really is the key to the franchise’s success. Like Doctor Who, the only way it could be possible for Bond to last over fifty years is to change the actor; James just wouldn’t have the same appeal if he was an eighty year old man trying his best to fight some crimes. Bond is supposed to be fun and exciting, which is exactly what you get when each different actor brings something new to the party. Of course, this leads to epic pub debates about which Bond is best, so let’s delve a little into that pool, with three of the most memorable actors. There’s one name that transcends the ‘James Bond Hall of Fame’. With that in mind, we’ll begin with the man, the myth, Sean Connery. Our

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don’t know about the rest of you, but one of my favourite things about going to the cinema is watching the trailers for all the upcoming films, whether it’s yet another cheesy romcom, or something a bit more meaty. However, trailers themselves are now having their own release dates and almost as much importance is given to them as to the film itself. So, why is this happening?

Well, at the core, it’s just trying to appeal to an audience to go and watch their film. You need to put as much of the storyline in the trailer to get the audience interested without actually giving the whole thing away – something, which, actually, many trailers fail to do, pretty much becoming their own mini-film. Take Never Let Me Go, for example. Brilliant film, but the trailer does spoil the plot, instead of keeping it more mysterious. And then on the other side, there are some ‘comedy’ films, where all the good stuff is in the trailer and there is little to no point of watching the film at the cinema. Films need the hype to get an audience into the cinema, especially that all important first weekend of release, where the box office takings usually predicts the success of the film overall – if it’s a flop on the opening weekend, who really wants to go and watch it? Movie posters used to be plastered just about everywhere in cities and towns to promote new films, all brightly coloured with the latest stars to pull in their audiences. But trailers have now far overtaken them in terms of importance. Trailers are far more accessible to today’s audience who, let’s face it, are constantly on their phones, tablets or laptops, always connected to the internet. It’s then a lot simpler to upload a trailer on YouTube and wait and watch for people to share it. But the negative side of internet promotion is that many people are really keen to leak trailers, photos from the shooting of the film, or even just spoilers, especially from big blockbuster films. For

example, at Comic-Con in July, the trailer for the film Suicide Squad was screened, something which the production team meant to be a surprise for the people attending. However, as things like this usually are, people then filmed and leaked the trailer online. This then forced the studio to release the official trailer, months before planned.

“Star Wars in the US, it also announced early ticket sales, and as a result, broke the Internet faster than Kim Kardashian’s derriere�

But then there are films that are able to make the most of their trailers to really boost hype from the audience – the new Star Wars film is one really good example of this. Only three days after its release, it had nearly hit 45 million views on YouTube. In comparison, the last Harry Potter film had just over 20 million for two trailers. On the release of the Star Wars in the US, it also announced early ticket sales, and as a result, broke the Internet faster than Kim Kardashian’s derriere.

“So, really, isn’t it us as the audience who are making trailers so important in the build-up to the film release?�

So, really, isn’t it us as the audience who are making trailers so important in the build-up to the film release? There’s a lot of hype around some films, like Suicide Squad, that unfortunately means that trailers and spoilers are leaked. Here, we’re our own worst enemies in actually ruining the filmgoing experience for ourselves, but also the ones bigging up the role of trailers in the film industry.

The Courier

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Monday 2 November 2015

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The Program (15)

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onning the yellow jacket and portraying Lance Armstrong on the silver screen could be strong material for an Oscar win or the gravest career error. Luckily for Ben Foster (and somewhat unsurprisingly), the former is more applicable. Portraying the man who evangelised the sport of cycling with almost messianic zeal, while defrauding it quite literally from the inside was no easy task. Foster, however, embodied every damaged red blood cell of the cyclist to eerie near-perfection. To those who were expecting a dramatic fall from grace were largely disappointed with the film’s direction. What they are treated to instead is a gradual, measured and captivating portrayal of the seven-time winner, which highlights the extent of his achievements as much as it does his sociopathic persona. Shaking off the two documentaries that preceded this film, Frears’ work is a more fictionalised interpretation of the story. Not one to shy away from raw emotions, the director’s intent in this movie has been made very clear – to show how damaged the sport really is, with Armstrong as the primary reason. Where the film really succeeds is making the smallest moments feel like lynchpins, while the grander moments take a back seat. Such a situation really allows all characters, major and minor, to take centre stage. Breaking Bad’s Jesse Plemons as Armstrong’s

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (15)

teammate Floyd Landis, a devout Mennonite coaxed into joining what amounted to the USPS team’s doping support staff, is the kind of performance that launches a career. Frears and screenwriter John Hodge go commendably deeper with this character, the first to be caught for a practice that the whole Armstrong unit had been getting away with for years. Plemons makes him bristle with his inner demons, presenting his character as the only one with a modicum of repentance for his actions. With similar success, Chris O’Dowd (The IT Crowd) brings David Walsh to life, as both Armstrong’s most important supporter as well as his fiercest critic. Walsh’s suspicion of Armstrong, and the dogged denial of his publishers, drives the story forward to an emphatic crescendo. The support of these two actors builds in perfectly to construct Foster’s Armstrong as a man changed. Changed not by his recovery from cancer, but a man transformed into a monster by the slimmest of chances to become a better racer. Foster’s

physical transformation into a leaner physique is not one affected by the ravaging of chemotherapy, but by an unbelievable commitment to get more than skin deep. The ‘most sophisticated doping scheme in sport’ is what really captivates the viewers, as there is little room to breathe in a movie that meticulously unfolds the intricacies of large-scale doping. Vindication for his actions are almost empathetic, as the movie forces you to admire (however begrudgingly) the near genius of Armstrong’s endeavour, and how he had the world fooled for so long. The heroic fight with cancer, the meticulous use of drugs and the admission of it all end in a questionable ride into the sunset. While that may irk many, Foster’s portrayal and the performances of the stellar supporting cast deserve nothing less.

The Lobster (15)

The Last Witch Hunter (12A)

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rguably Schwarzenegger’s best film, this 1990 sci-fi classic sees him star as Douglas Quaid, a construction worker in 2084 who has dreams of travelling to the already-populated Mars. However, all is not as it seems as he unknowingly becomes the centre of a secret agent conspiracy holding the people of Mars hostage, questioning his memories and free-will. Directed by sci-fi mastermind, Paul Verhoeven, Arnold is in the peak of his career in this genuinely brilliant action thriller.

More like this: The Armstrong Lie (2013) Ritwik Sarkar

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ne of his last films before becoming the Governator, Terminator 3 was a disappointing send off for such an enjoyable

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es, another one of those semi-homemade horror ‘masterpieces’ that used to make your blood run cold has come to cinema screens, yet it seems that over the many sequels (this is the fifth), it has started losing some its original aura and famous scares. This time directed by Gregory Plotkin, the story follows another family with a sweet little daughter, Leila, who happily move into a new house just before Christmas, and not-so-happily finds mysterious tapes and a special camera that can see ghosts. The plot is quite repetitive to those that have been Paranormal Activity fans for years, but the continuation of the story started in the third movie is quite enjoyable and nicely blends with the new details about witches and demons that the family discovers. Nothing special can be said about the acting or sound effects – they’re all quite regular for a horror film. The Ghost Dimension, however, definitely lacks those heart-exploding scares that we’re all here for. Undoubtedly so, the 3D effect enhances the feeling that you’re watching a movie made with one home camera, but that leaves the viewer wondering about the quality of the movie if the 3D is the best part of it. Many cheap jump scares, repetitive counting of the nights and unimpressive acting is made bearable with an unexpected ending which is surprisingly though-provoking, and a lot of space for yet another spin-off (of course). Overall, a nice regular horror film which is fun to be viewed in 3D but can be boring to those who are used to the idea and format of all Paranormal Activity movies. Go see it if you’re a big horror geek - you will enjoy it. However, if you’re hoping for the kind of scare you had when you saw the first part of Paranormal Activity series, don’t bother.

t isn’t every day you watch a film as brilliantly original and odd as The Lobster, and it isn’t any day that you want give a succinct summarisation of its plot. In essence to do so, I must be as unapologetic and brash as the characters that inhabit this strange parallel reality. This film follows David (Colin Farrell), who lives in a world where single people are sent to a hotel. In this hotel, they must find a partner within 45 days or they will be turned into an animal of their choice and given a second chance at love as a different species. David chooses a lobster, as they remain fertile all their lives and he likes the sea, among other well thought-out justifications. This choice is well received, as there are too many dogs in the world. Writer/director Yorgos Lanthimos, with his fourth feature, has beautifully constructed a film which transcends plot conventions with its frequently hilarious script and thematic provocation. It is abruptly clear that the film is about love, and no efforts are made to mask this. Lanthimos asks pointed questions about relationship compatibility and what it means to be right for another person, whether shared characteristics like a perpetually bloody nose or uncommon heartlessness really matter. These themes are explored with simple, uncensored dialogue that makes for most of the film’s funniest moments. The Lobster is overflowing with seasoned character actors, ranging from Michael Smiley to Olivia Colman, who bring the obscurity of their characters to life and never seem out-ofplace in this profound and horrifying world. It may already be apparent that this is not a film for everyone. The Lobster places its themes above all else, and the humour serves to engage the audience for an admittedly ambitious twohour runtime. However, if you stick with Lanthimos’ deliberate pace and fantastic cast, you will undoubtedly lose yourself in his wild dystopia.

More like this: Cloverfield (2008)

More like this: Dogtooth (2009)

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n what has got to be one of the most ambitious (and frankly even a little ridiculous) efforts against type-casting, Vin Diesel switches from Fast to fantasy in this decidedly mediocre attempt to create a new franchise. He stars as Kaulder, the witch hunter of the title, who has essentially been cursed to an eternal life of breathing on windows (no joke) and yes, killing witches, while getting some support from the wise ‘Dolans’ (Michael Caine, Elijah Wood) along the way. The main storyline centres around the discovery of a plot to resurrect the evil Witch Queen, who has a fierce desire to bring back the plague, therefore causing the world to spiral into chaos and interminable hellishness and so on and so on. Let’s get the negatives out of the way first. The plot is tired, predictable and full of terrible dialogue - my favourite example being “Hey kid, did your mother never tell you to not eat sweets off trees?� - but it’s in these familiar cliches that some enjoyment can be found, if only for the quite endearing realisation that Diesel is literally living out his dream, being a self-confessed fantasy nerd. Game of Thrones’ Rose Leslie is a breath of fresh air as Chloe, the witty ‘good witch’ sidekick character made interesting by some genuinely sparky exchanges and action scenes, even if the romance between her and Diesel ends up coming across a bit creepy. The unintentionally funny parts, and some modern/medieval cinematography mashups also up the enjoyment factor somewhat. In summary, The Last Witch Hunter is nothing new or special, but will probably do for younger fans of the genre; see it just for Caine cracking jokes about iPads, laughably bad CGI threats and Diesel sporting a full head of hair with *whisper it* plaits in. Charmingly crap. More like this: The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)

William Leng

Romany Lowe

career. With director James Cameron (Terminator and T2) too busy planning Avatar to return, the age rating going from an 18 to a 12A and a script which was not only stale but ruined some of the philosophical questions brought up in the previous two instalments, T3 is just bleh. The villain isn’t menacing, the supporting cast is weak, the violence is cheap and the plot detracts from the previous two. It’s not even charming like previously bad Arnold films, it’s just sad.

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ust before he hit superstar status, Arnold stars in this sci-fi action flick set in a dystopian 2017 in which convicted criminals must enter the game show ‘The Running Man’ and attempt to avoid public execution. If this sounds like Battle Royale (2000) or the Hunger Games saga (2012-15) then you would be right; except it was done first. Loosely based on a Stephen King novel, it is this week’s ugly film because, with an 18 rating, it’s one of Arnold’s most violent films and contains many bloody deaths. It’s also quite divisive, with some loving its 80s charm, and others simply awaiting The Hunger Games 7. George Naylor

Next week on The Good, The Bad and the Ugly: the many films of James Bond

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Monday 2 November 2015

The Courier

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4251#'(#'61#76&10 Ritwik Sakar ensures that lonely nights in with Netflix will be a lot livelier with his House of Cards Drinking game. Now, you can get plastered over politics, and enjoy it. You will need: -To get rid of your Netflix and chill buddy -A newsagent’s supply of booze -A decent knowledge of USA party politics 1. Whenever Kevin Spacey breaks the fourth wall, start your pint of lager and don’t finish till he’s done 2. Plot to overthrow the president introduced? Shot of vodka 3. Plot to overthrow the president achieving critical mass, down whatever your drink is 4. Whenever Frank says ‘Power’ smash down on the table once and take a big sip of wine 5. Whenever Claire says ‘Francis’ yell, ‘For Frank’ and sip your cider 6. Take a shot every time anyone goes on a jog

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f you haven’t already heard, Gilmore Girls is coming soon to a Netflix near youand I am very excited about it. Eight years after the series finale in 2007, Netflix have reportedly closed a deal to revive Gilmore Girls in the form of four 90-minute-long mini movies, written and produced by series creators, Amy ShermanPalladino and Daniel Palladino. The mini-series will pick up in present time and all of the main cast are expected to return, including Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Kelly Bishop and Scott Patterson. Gilmore Girls is the most recent revival in the line of TV show reboots that have come back from the dead with the help of new TV broadcasting technology, on-demand streaming services, such as Netflix and Amazon Prime, which are slowly but surely taking over traditional TV broadcasting as they play into our nostalgia obsessed generation, bringing back loved classics and rescuing our favourite TV shows from cancellation. Usually, I am a firm believer in the creator having the last word; when a TV show is over, it is over and there should be no narrative beyond what the writer has created. However, there has been a shift in the way that we consume TV as series now rely on online communities to keep the fire surrounding shows aflame and it is these passionate communities of online fans that provide an in-built audience for TV revivals, guaranteeing their success. So, while

TV shows may not survive on traditional broadcasting because figures are not high enough to keep advertisers interested, fans are certainly loyal and dedicated enough to get people to subscribe to streaming services, increasing the shelf life of shows that are just too good to end.

“TV shows may not survive on traditional broadcasting because figures are not high enough to keep advertisers interested, fans are certainly loyal and dedicated enough to get people to subscribe to streaming services�

Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson was recently sacked on BBC, much to the dismal of thousands of fans who signed a petition to keep the trio on the show, but thanks to streaming services, Amazon Prime have taken them on for a similar show, rumoured to be renamed ‘Gear Knobs’, and are expected to launch in the new year. Not only does this please viewers of Top Gear by continuing the legacy of the

show, but it is the best possible way for streaming services to gain subscriptions, providing content that people will automatically love. Following in the footsteps of Amazon and Netflix, Yahoo Screen revived Community in response to fans wanting to see its slogan of ‘Six series and a movie’ lived out and The Mindy Project continues its fourth series on Hulu. Even traditional TV broadcasting have jumped on the bandwagon as American Networks, such as Showtime are reviving cult-classic Twin Peaks and Fox are bringing back The X-Files. In the case of Gilmore Girls, there is an air of nostalgia that excites me for the revival series, but also, Gilmore Girls arguably never ended as series 7, its final series was written and produced by an entirely different ensemble than the previous six series, meaning that fans never had the chance to watch the show as it was intended to end, with four words that only creator, Amy Sherman-Palladino knows. The revival promises to rewrite the errors of the final series, ending on its own terms. On-demand streaming services are the only hope for cancelled TV shows and series that thrived a decade ago- we need services, such as Netflix to keep our favourite fictional universes alive for the sake of closure and a trip down memory lane. I don’t think every 90s show to ever exist should be remade, streaming services certainly provide the perfect platform for TV comebacks to be executed correctly and successfully.

2*"&3*"4&.)"5/"$&67* Gentlemen, bad news, I’ve only bought the mixers. 7. When the music goes eerie, slowly sip your drink until the score has faded away 8. Hang your head in shame and take a pity shot, every time Zoe thinks about screwing Underwood over 9. Large sip of wine whenever there’s any tasteful nudity 10. Take a shot every time Doug fixes a problem or meets someone in a diner. Double shot if he is paying someone off in a diner 11. Take a shot whenever Frank eats at Freddy’s BBQ. 12. Pour one out every time Peter Russo is mentioned 13. Down said poured drink, whenever Peter Russo hits the pills/booze.

White House? More like Whitey House.

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t is not unusual for the BBC to suffer criticism for their hiring and firing decisions. From their controversial capers with Jeremy Clarkson, to the apparent obsession with all things Clare Balding - questions over the selection of on-screen talent is never far from the headlines. This time, the departure of national treasure, Stephen Fry, has made waves not just because of his move away from the spot of quizmaster on comedy favourite, QI. Fry’s replacement, Sandi Toksvig, has made her name on the showbiz circuit by appearing as a guest on both stand-up and satirical smash hits including Whose Line is It Anyway?, Mock The Week and, often as a host, Have I Got News For You. In addition to having been a frequent feature on QI itself, Toksvig clearly has the academic credentials to match her wonderfully, dry humour - a necessity if one is to follow the footsteps of the genius that is Fry. The first-class graduate from Cambridge won two prizes for outstanding achievement during her time at University, and is now Chancellor of the University of Ports-

mouth, as well as a recipient of an OBE, for services to broadcasting. Naturally, the conversation has been raised in the media regarding the BBC’s decision to bring a woman on board for the main role, as it is (rather unfortunately) quite a surprise that Toksvig should be chosen to fill the position, which a man held for over 13 years. Although, the new appointment does come after a period of complaints aimed at the broadcasting giant, for a seeming imbalance in the number of high profile, hosting jobs which women hold in comparison to men. Recent figures have shown that just one in eight BBC radio break-

“Naturally, the conversation has been raised in the media regarding the BBC’s decision to bring a woman on board for the main role, as it is quite a surprise that Toksvig should be chosen to fill the position, which a man held for over 13 years.� fast shows are lead by women alone. The response to the oddly convenient timing of Toksvig’s hiring would be the question of whether or not this is simply a token gesture from the BBC? Particularly as their choice is such a prominent and active spokesperson for women in society, politics and in the media. It is absolutely brilliant that BBC have acknowledged viewers’ concerns, however, it would be even better if this policy of broadening diversity continued on aft a er Toksvig’s promotion. Even better still, if similar changes were implemented across the board, on all channels and networks. The new personalities and

differing perspectives, which would come with the employment of women in these leading roles, could only make for more interesting television. In fact, some of the most successful panel shows are currently hosted by women, such as Sue Barker on A Question of Sport, and Mel and Sue on Great British Bake Off. It would be a refreshing experience to see intelligent and comedic women take on similar positions to Dara O’Brien or Jeremy Paxman, Rob Brydon and Jimmy Carr. A new dynamic might even pull in a higher audience or a different demographic on interest value alone, considering these shows have spent such a long time with the same format. At the very least, it would be a vast improvement to see more women occupying seats on the panels themselves, if not taking up a hosting job. As there is often a noticeable disproportion, despite the corporation’s equality-ensuring measures. The BBC have set a great example by hiring a long-standing, female member of the industry to fill Fry’s shoes. The fact that Toksvig’s appointment has raised the issue of women’s significance in television is a welcome sign. Hopefully, this will encourage other stations to follow suit, and make use of a wide range of individuals, who will undoubtedly be out there, ready for the challenge.

The Courier

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Monday 2 November 2015

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Watch, Tuesday, 9pm

ver the years, many shows have tried incorporating the characters of the brothers Grimm’s fairy tales into their storylines, but few have been as successful as the fantasy cop drama, Grimm. And good news for fans, because it’s back for its fifth season with David Giuntoli reprising his role as Nick Burkhardt, homicide detective/Grimm. The new season is expected to pick up right where the last left off, with Nick’s mother beheaded and Juliette being shot to death by fellow Grimm, Trubel, in an effort to save Nick’s life. While some people may have been speculating whether Juliette’s death is permanent, and wondering if she could perhaps be brought back via some voodoo Hexenbiest magic, prepare for your bubble to be burst: executive producer and writer of the series, David Green-

walt, has confirmed that yes, she really is dead. The exit of Juliette (played by Bitsie Tulloch) from the show came as a shock to many fans that believed she was going to be around forever. However, the death also came as a relief to many others who thought it was about time for a downwardspinning character, turning into a vicious Hexenbiest who conspired with the Royals to have Nick’s mother killed and Adalind’s daughter kidnapped. There was literally no way that could ever be forgiven without the show becoming ridiculous. Show runners David Greenwalt and Jim Kouf have said Season Five is going to be the darkest season yet. We’re not too sure what that means for now but with Greenwalt’s history of killing off regular characters (Angel in Buffy the Vampire, and Doyle in Angel), it’s probably not too bold of a guess that another regular is most probably going to die. Let’s just hope it’s not Monroe (played by Silas Weir Mitchell), because everyone loves Monroe. Grimm star David Giuntoli also opened up about what could be expected in Season Five,

with Nick Burkhardt coming to grips with the loss of his mother and girlfriend, as well as having to father the love-child between him and Adalind Schade (played by Claire Coffee). However with all the things that Nick is going through, the Hexenbaby may just be the only thing keeping him from completely going off the rails. Also, does it drive anyone crazy that the ‘keys’ that have been in play the entire season has just casually become a forgotten storyline to the writers? Don’t worry, because Greenwalt has also confirmed that the keys will return in the fifth season, and that they are finally going to explain the purpose of it. Thank God. The show has veered from the original brother Grimm fairytales into other area of myths and stories when Jack the Ripper was introduced in the series, but we can expect more new monsters for Nick and his team to face, with the Loch Ness Monster and Gila monster being hinted as two of them. Nicole Ang

“Most regular viewers...merely watch to subconsciously make fun of characters who resemble the kids they bullied in primary school.”

“Dungeons and Dragons! Comic books! Anime!” it cries out, placing the audience on a higher moral pedestal than the protagonists who we’re meant to empathise with. No surprise then, that most regular viewers of the show aren’t even into the aforementioned hobbies, and merely watch to subconsciously make fun of characters who resemble the kids they bullied in primary school. You know the show is exploiting geek culture when DC Comics actually sponsors Sheldon’s Green Lantern shirt. It’s a shame, as it could’ve been the perfect platform to get younger viewers into STEM subjects, but instead chooses to jeer at such disciplines. For example, there’s an episode where the group give a presentation to get girls into science, only for it to derail into Leonard complaining how he was forced into becoming a physicist by his parents.

“It’s a shame, as it could’ve been the perfect platform to get younger viewers into STEM subjects.”

Image: Sky1

After Hours

Master of None

Sky1, Monday, 9:30pm

E

ith it’s ninth season having just begun airing, The Big Bang Theory has quite literally exploded into pop culture, scientifically proven to lower brain cells and send nerd wannabes into cardiac arrest. For what started out as an ingenious concept, focusing on the everyday mishaps of what would typically be the side characters of most other ‘slice of life’ programmes, TBBT has evolved into a repetitive and indisputably unfunny sitcom that needs to become extinct. Rather than celebrate ‘Geekdom’ like the criminally under-watched Community (and trust me, it’s taking every ounce of my strength to not make the entirety of this article just me writing ‘WATCH COMMUNITY INSTEAD’ repeatedly until my fingers bleed), TBBT simply mocks it. It plays upon stereotypes of the socially awkward, copy/pasting an unbearable laugh track over ‘dorky’ buzzwords.

veryone deals with heartbreak in their own way. Some might throw themselves into work; others might just go out with friends, but for 18-year-old Willow Hannigan, neither is an option. Left behind in his jobless town as his friends all leave for university, Willow is left to overcome his heartache in an unusual way, finding comfort in the cosy world of local radio. Broadcast from a small canal boat, the After Hours station is run by friends Lauren and Ollie. Their music quickly idolised by Willow, who may just be their only listener. The young cast is headed up by James Tarpey as the music-fanatic Willow, with BAFTA award winner Georgina Campbell playing his beautiful exgirlfriend Jasmine, as well as film star Jaime Winstone as Lauren and Rob Kendrick starring as Ollie. Family life is also far from quiet in the fictional town of Shankly, with the opening of a big new supermarket leaving Willow’s father Peter without his loved milkman rounds, while mother Anna treacherously eyes a job there. Joining the Hannigan’s is Peter’s best friend Geoff, currently residing on the family sofa, whose enthusiasm and spirit may help the family through their troubles. Yet it’s a chance encounter between Willow and Lauren which sets the wheels in motion for a wave of inspiration to sweep over the sleepy Northern town. With comedy actors Ardal O’Hanlon and John Tomson cast as Peter and Geoff respectively, After Hours promises to capture the hearts of its viewers in its own hilarious ways in this coming-of-age story of a young man’s quest to overcome his heartache. Reece Hanson

Trollied

Netflix, available Friday

A

Sky1, Monday, 9pm

A

ctor and comedian Aziz Ansari, best known for his role as the underachieving Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation, is back and stars in his own comedy. He assumes the role of 30-year-old Indian-American actor Dev, who is struggling to work out what he wants to do in life. The trailer shows an entertaining premise for the show: Nev awkwardly pays for his girlfriend and potential life partner Rachel (Noël Wells)’s morning after pill late at night. At a casting call, he is asked to put on an Indian tone of voice, but complains that there isn’t ‘an Oscar for “Best Indian Accent”’. Nev is desperately searching for answers to his troubled love life, and whether the answer is with Rachel or not is a moot point. His father bluntly asserts, ‘we have to make decisions, man’. Race is a recurring theme, a frustrated Nev asking, ‘if you go back far enough we’re all 1/16th something. I’m probably 1/16th black. You think they’re gonna let me play Blade?!’ It’s not impossible: remember when Ben Kingsley starred as Gandhi? Ansari balances humour and seriousness in a lively way. As an actor from a minority background his show deals with problems that are so-often left out of television. Master of None is about Nev coming of age, exploring race, romance and the long list of unanswerable questions facing someone of his maturity. Many of the dilemmas he faces are similar to those of students, but for now, at least, we can sit back with a large bag of Doritos and laugh with him as he fumbles his way into the future.

pparently, Trollied is back for it’s fourth season. That’s right, Sky One’s sitcom take of Dale’s Supermarket Sweep is set to return with some favourite faces from the past series. Set in the fictional shop of Valco in Warrington, Trollied explores the comic lives of those who work and visit the shop, often with hilarious consequences. For anyone who actually works in retail, some of the situations the staff get into are actually pretty accurate. From annoyingly frequent customers to colleagues who simply don’t have a clue, everyone can recognise and relate to someone on the show. The show works largely on stereotypes from the world of retail. Lisa sits on the checkouts and sticks strictly to her job description. Bubbly Linda works on customer services and spends more time chatting and gossiping than actually helping anyone. Manager Gavin always says he would rather be doing something else, but would never actually leave Valco because he loves it too much. New to the team this year is the fabulous Miriam Margoyles, of Harry Potter fame, playing an extremely cheeky and saucy Rose. Joining the managerial team in Valco is Daniel, played by Doctor Who’s Samuel Anderson. He looks set to stir things up as a bit of a jobsworth with his strict style of management which will probably clash with he family vibe the team have going. Trollied is not going to shock you as a stunning piece of drama, but it does what a sitcom should - keep you entertained. It’s warm, friendly and definitely worth keeping up with.

Francis Williams

Helen Daly

It’s stereotypes like these that dominate most of TBBT – whilst some are due to lazy writing, such as mocking Howard’s Judaism, and ‘dumb blonde’ Penny, others are much more harmful and elitist, such as how we’re supposed to laugh at Raj’s hinted bisexuality. Most degrading though is Sheldon Cooper, who showcases multiple traits of Aspergers syndrome and so us often played for laughs, depicting him as a nuisance to both his friends and society in a highly distasteful manner. This isn’t even beginning to touch upon the show’s repetitive plotlines and shoddy pacing. TBBT didn’t just jump the shark; it did a quadruple flip on a flaming motorcycle, the showrunners diving into the water in cheap superhero costumes, all while Jim Parsons screams “BAZINGA!” as he frantically waves his Golden Globes. Howard has a girlfriend? Boom, married in two seasons! Sheldon and Amy have no chemistry and their relationship is borderline psychologically abusive? Jackpot! A chance to make more jokes about social anxiety and asexuality. Despite this, TBBT still prevails through natural selection. If the scientific explanation of our universe really involves continuous reruns of a poorly written US sitcom on E4, consider me converted at the nearest nunnery I find. Zoë Godden

The Courier

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Monday 2 November 2015

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C’mon England you wankers

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en whole years have passed since Lol and Woody finally got hitched and the whole town wept at the fairy-tale happy ending that was slightly marred by the strange disappearance of Combo so soon after reforming. Now in the new millennium, Baha Men (no, I don’t remember them either) are topping the charts with ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’ and everything has changed in the anonymous midlands town of This Is England. The new millennium started off with a bang (quite literally). Terrified that the Millennium Bug meant the end of the world, Smell (who spent the second half of the nineties protesting against the rise of computers) falls into bed with the ever-patient Shaun after getting too merry on blue WKDs in an attempt to blot out her impending death. Shaun of course, is well keen. That is, until the morning after when the reality that the world is, in fact, still spinning (ever so slightly quicker than the ceiling above them) leaves them both red faced and nauseous. Cue the awkward sexual tension and emotional tug of Shaun’s puppy-dog eyes for the rest of the series as he tries to get Smell to be his girlfriend again. Yep, he still isn’t over her. The pretty photographer of last series disappeared when the college course ended and it turned out they had nothing in common but their talent with a camera. It is later revealed that Smell has been leading him on for the past six months, with a series of sexy emails and even the odd nude fax. Having decided to leave the group back in the 80s (remember her weird goth boyfriend who looked a bit like Noel Fielding?), it is Smell who is consequently painted as the enemy. Meanwhile Shaun turns back into his mum’s loving arms and a good old hotpot followed by a Britpop night at the town hall for nostalgic purposes.

“Lisa keeps her friends upto-date with her rebellious gallivanting using Bebo... the soundtrack to her page is ‘Don’t Call Me Baby’ by Madison Avenue. Because she’s so grown up, dur”

Across the town, Harvey and Gadget are still living together and making a mint off of selling pirated CDs and DVDs from LimeWire. Dodgy copies of Gladiator have replaced pound-bags of weed as the pulling method of choice on the council estate

nowadays. That’s not to say the VHS has been discarded in the past millennium. Oh no. VHS is still the ruler of the roost, with the lads’ collection of ‘blue’ movies taking up the majority of their spare room. You’ll be happy to hear that Gadget has finally stopped wearing the horrendous purple hoody that he loved almost as much as Kelly in 1990. However, he just doesn’t have the heart to throw it out. Instead, it hangs in his wardrobe all dusty and moth-bitten like a dirty little secret. In its place, he now sports some all-white Reebok classics with acid-wash denim (for the nostalgia of the acid house days) and a casual polo (sporting the golden arches of the Mcdonalds empire).

“All is put right between the pair when they receive a letter inviting them onto Get Your Own Back... The pupils have finally revolted after 10 years of coffee whip”

It’s not just Gadget who’s grown up and got a ‘proper job’. Thanks to the election of Tony Blair and New Labour back in 1994, things are looking pretty peachy for Lol and Woody. Celebrating their 10 year anniversary this year, and with another baba added to the brood, Woody has shaved off the beard for good (he’s assured Lol), sacked off the Documentary channel and is now working in an accountants. The couple have moved to a semidetached in a good catchment area, and are even able to buy a mobile phone for teenage daughter Lisa by the end of the year. Yep, that’s right, she gets the Nokia 3310. The peak of technological advancement where she can create her own ringtone by coding, and continually beat her own high score on Snake 2. That’s how Christmas Day 2000 is spent in the Woodford household: Lisa slouched on the sofa absorbed by the mobile screen whilst her parents despair and question if they were actually ever fun ‘hip’ people. That Christmas, Woody’s mum and dad come round for Christmas dinner, subtly judging their not-even-remotely-Conservative relatives. Thankfully, Jennifer is not in tow this year. No, she has finally moved on from Woody and got herself a new fella, named Nick. She does still live on Mr and Mrs Woodford’s road though. And go round every Sunday for a catch up. But she assures them (and poor, naïve Nick) that she definitely has moved on. She thinks. Although Nick does look a bit like

Woody if you squint. Any who, that Christmas, Mrs Woodford presents Lisa with a very thoughtful gift: newly released Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Unfortunately, J. K. Rowling doesn’t include a pixelated line moving across her book in a snakelike fashion, so Lisa isn’t interested in the slightest. After Christmas dinner, Lol and Woody make a point of telling Lisa she should be grateful for her gifts, especially after her shockingly bad school report for that term. Now a fully-fledged stroppy teenager, she has taken to bunking off Biology lessons in favour of Marlboro Lights and the bike sheds. She keeps her friends up-to-date with her rebellious gallivanting throughout the year using Bebo (Facebook only worked if your email address ended in .edu at this point, imagine). At the minute, the soundtrack to her page is ‘Don’t Call Me Baby’ by Madison Avenue. Because she’s so grown up, dur. Lisa isn’t the only one doing naughty things in the noughties. Shortly after being jolted by Smell for the millionth time after the New Year’s Eve debarcle, Shaun and a few of the lads from work went to support England in Euro 2000 and ended up in a police cell in Belgium for his hooliganism. Some say that is was Shaun who was the cause of England almost being banned from the competition. But that’s just speculation. The characteristic big knees-up of the series comes from the Queen Mother’s 100th birthday. Not that the gang are overtly royalist, but she’s a sound lass and it’s an excuse to get drunk, right? There’s a big reunion during the street party: amongst the egg mayo baps, cherry bakewells and bunting, tension is in the air. Milky, father to Lisa and bestie of Woody, is home. Shortly after the wedding 10 years ago, Milky took a job in another town and did a disappearing act (strange that it was so soon after Combo mysteriously

vanished too, eh?). Since taking the job (in a car factory, apparently), Milky has been an absent father and friend, only returning a few weeks a year and contacting Lisa by text sporadically, for shame of his past actions. Let’s not forget that the group is still divided over the whole Britpop saga of the late nineties,

“Terrified that the Millennium Bug meant the end of the world, Smell falls into bed with the ever-patient Shaun”

adding further unease to the proceedings: Woody, Trev and Milky very much fronting Team Oasis; Gadget, Kelly and Banjo all for Team Blur. The division rears its ugly head when Kelly decides to take control of the playlist for the street party (using CDs from LimeWire obviously) and plays four Blur songs in a row. Everyone had had enough by Song 2… A drunken scrap between sisters Kelly and Trev leaves them both with black eyes and sore egos after the lads have to tear them apart. ‘Think of the children, the children!’ screams Mrs Woodford in the corner. All is put right between the pair when they receive a letter from the BBC inviting them onto Get Your Own Back, along with their mum. Still working in the school kitchens, the pupils have finally revolted after 10 years of coffee whip. I personally don’t see what they’re complaining about, they still have turkey twizzlers after all. And so the scene closes once more on our favourite eighties gang, as Robbie Williams’ ‘Millennium’ plays over a montage featuring Tony Blair on Downing Street, Kylie and her infamous gold hotpants, and Davina welcoming the first Big Brother housemates into the newly-invented reality show.

The infamous hoody of ‘90 has finally been locked away in the closet, along with Gadget’s other secrets

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Monday 2 November 2015

The Courier

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Although a little old now, every gamer and probably anyone with kids that grew up in the 1980s will remember the weird and wonderful NES controller. Completely un-ergonomic, the rectangular lump of plastic sits uncomfortably in the hands. On the left was your directional pad and on the right, oversized bright red B and A buttons, joined in the middle by the quintessential select and start, but that’s your lot. Looking back at the NES reminds me of how far we have come technologically, now it looks more like an edgy iPhone case than something you could defeat evil, shoot enemies or explore fascinating new frontiers with.

81'345'9:";-*"*$+%'<+=5 The PlayStation Move was clearly trying to take the Wii controller to a more sophisticated young adult market but unfortunately it ended up looking a little strange. The controller resembles a microphone; the ball at one end had the capabilities to glow a different colour to identify players but that novelty wears off pretty quickly. Many have wondered about this ‘unique’ look, and it has been likened to a sex toy and a lollipop – either way it is pretty crazy looking for a game controller, not quite as sophisticated as its sleeker Nintendo counterpart.

/1'345'6>8 It seems unsuitable for human users, an alien invention almost and yet, somehow, it works. Its appearance is certainly unconventional and perhaps if you had a third hand it would work a little better, but the joy stick is in prime position for smooth movements. A player has a directional pad, a Cpad, B and A buttons and a start button: what more could you want? It resembles what you might think an extra-terrestrial’s hand looks like (and you could get them in green) but at the time was probably pretty cool – and now it has a lovely retro feel when you return to Super Mario 64 or BanjoKazooie on a rainy day.

01'345'?@+A The original Xbox controller seemed to weigh a ton, it was like playing a game with a bowling ball in your hands. Moreover, it seemed too chunky to be comfortable and the poor-quality plastic was far from smooth. A weird feature of the controller was that it had two joysticks, but one of them was offset at the top left hand side, which just seemed bizarre. I am all for a two joystick controller, but Sony’s Dualshock controller certainly got it right having them side by side; it makes for easier and smoother game play.

B1'345'!"#5CD@5 The Gamecube controller built on all the good things about the N64 controller, but it stills looks like a hand from out of this world. It provided a plethora of buttons, two triggers, a directional pad and two joysticks – but really it just looks cluttered and all the different colours make it look rather childish. In fact, the Gamecube never really suited serious games and thus the controller actually suggests the appeal it might hold for younger gamers – rather than more serious veterans.

Image: Evan Amos, Wikimedia

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ivilization IV is a classic 4X, turn-based strategy game from Fireaxis Games. Despite being released almost ten years ago, the game remains a paragon not only for the 4X genre, but for strategy games as whole. Looking back on the game now, it’s very easy to tell it came from an era where the developers felt no need to spoon feed the player on how to do everything. As a result, the game comes with a thick paper manual and a high learning curve. Learning how to use the mechanics in the manual to your advantage was something that took time and effort, since the game is all about micromanaging every aspect of your civilization. This is where it differs from a lot of turn based strategy games today because most don’t have this same level of adminstration that opens up huge amounts of variation in gameplay and experience. I appreciate that micromanagement is somewhat of an acquired taste, and I agree that at times it can weigh a game down more than pick it up. In this instance though, I would suggest even if you’re not a fan of it, there’s still plenty of fun to be found in the game should

you play on lower difficulties that are more lenient and demand less efficiency. As with many long-lasting series, it’s the dedicated player base combined with a really competent and talented array of modders that have kept it going strong into its old age. I’m happy to say that although the online component of the game is pretty much deserted, there are still dedicated sites and forums running competitive games from time to time.

“It’s very easy to tell it came from an era where the developers felt no need to spoon feed the player on how to do everything”

There are plenty of reports out there that showcase the best and most intense multiplayer games, with players creating remarkably complex strategies to beat their opponents. The game opens up

in multiplayer and really gets interesting when you have a group of friends who are all veteran tacticians and can refrain from making the same mistakes that even the most ingenious AI is prone to make. That being said, the AI bots are remarkably good opponents to play against, and a lot of them have personalities that make some more fun to play against than others. Montezuma of the Aztecs, for example, will declare wars he must know he can’t win, but that’s just who he is. It’s the quirks of the AI that can add extra layers to the game even if they can make some really dumb choices now and again. They went all out to make sure that each system in the game at least somewhat reflects that system in the real world, and there are plenty of maps that allow history buffs like myself to play out alternate histories. There’s something for economists, micromanagers, warmongers, pacifists, and even fantasy and sci-fi lovers if you delve into the mods. There’s something for everyone in the game, and it delivers stellar, robust, rewarding gameplay to anyone and everyone regardless of skill level.

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alloween has been and gone, but don’t despair, this week I’m celebrating all things horror as we delve into the dark world of Outlast. Developed and published by Red Barrels, Outlast is a first person horror survival game that puts you in the shoes of Miles Upshur, a reporter whose main purpose in life is to own the world’s most unreliable video camera. As the game begins, it quickly becomes clear what sort of experience lies ahead. The setting appears as if hand-picked from a cliché horror novel, and just in case Mount Massive

Asylum needed to look any creepier, Upshur is the kind of journalist that likes to do his reporting in the dead of night (I’m sure nothing can go wrong there). As you enter the Asylum it’s no surprise then that you’re not there to find a story on sunshine and lollipops. Between dead SWAT team officers and psychiatric patients, the narrative offers plenty in the way of horror. What the game particularly does well however is jump scares, and the constant threat that the next one might be right around the corner. I consider myself normally quite hardened to horror films and games alike, but there’s something about a

Image: BagoGames, Flickr

group of homicidal patients in an eerie psychiatric hospital that just makes the pause button so much more appealing. As far as antagonists go, Outlast utilises a wide variety of attributes to create fear, from a homicidal machete wielding maniac to a doctor you definitely don’t want to book a prostate exam with. It’s certainly not a game intended for children, or the faint hearted. But does all this mean you should invest your hard earned cash into it? I mean surely you can pick up one of many horror games filled with jump scares, cliché scenery and gore galore? Let’s face it, Slenderman ticks at least two out of those three boxes - and it was originally free. Well, in short, yes! Spend your money on it. It really won’t disappoint, and not just for its horror, but also for its story. I’m not going to delve too far into that because I’d have to call spoiler alert more times than I’d care for, but between the confidential information folders you can collect as you go through the game to the messages written in blood on the walls, a large degree of time and decent content was invested into the game’s story, and that’s what makes it so enjoyable to play. My only one reservation about this game is that the protagonist is a bit wet. Now, I understand that Miles is a journalist and not a professional cage fighter, but if one of the machete wielding residents does catch up to you, don’t expect him to even attempt to defend himself; your only hope is that he manages to record the whole ordeal on camera before the battery (and his time) inevitably run out.

The Courier

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Monday 2 November 2015

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t’s hard to believe it’s been seven years (alto find my way to Megaton and thus most to the day) since Fallout 3’s release, to the game’s story. Storytelling, I feel especially since in that time I’ve wrung hunit’s fair to say, is far from Bethesda’s dreds upon hundreds of hours out of it and still strong suit, but with Liam Neeson find something new every time I play. But that’s anything is possible and so between the charming thing about the open-world forthe somewhat clumsy plot-driving mula Bethesda have honed over the last dozen set-pieces and awkward facial aniyears: it’s a gift that keeps on giving. mation you do actually get a quite Stepping out of Vault 101 into the bleak moving tale of an abandoned child’s and yet dazzling – light of day is, to borrow desperate quest to be anything but alone, a phrase, One Of Those Moments. Capitals even if it means crossing the whole necessary. Not only was this the first time wasteland five times over. gamers got to see Fallout’s vision of a shatBut as I’ve suggested, Fallout 3’s tered America in three living, breathing direal appeal lies in its freedom. No mensions; it was the first time we were given longer are you confined to the bound something of such raw, bone-chilling scale that areas of Fallout 1 & 2 - the whole wasteseeing it for the first time forces a gasp. The Capi- Image: Skedoozy, land is yours to wander, with tal Wasteland is far, far from the biggest world Flickr nary a border to impede you. a game has offered (or even had offered at the It’s no surprise then that the time of release), but there was still something best things in Fallvery deliberately awe-inspiring about that first out 3 are all organic: a peek at the barren land, skeletons of long-decayed r o g u e Deathclaw tearing city buildings teasing the imagination at the edge through an Enclave of vision. You feel alone. You feel small. You feel, patrol bequite probably, very lost. And if you’re anything fore setlike me, you feel the compulsion to walk very con- ting its fidently in the complete wrong direction. eyes on you,

leading to a simultaneously hilarious and terrifying sprint for your life; a Ghoul clawing you in the back as you poke through the Metro ruins and making you jump ten feet out of your chair; a Wastelander with a 10mm pistol trying to mug you and finding themselves the first customer of your new business as a particularly heavy-handed laser eye surgeon. All the best moments Fallout 3 has to offer are pure products of your own experience, and everyone will have different highlights from their own playthroughs. Similarly, the world is big enough that going from the start of the game to the end can be done in hundreds of different ways, and you’re extremely unlikely to complete or even find every quest without looking them up. It’s a singular thing to find a game that still surprises you after half a decade, but in Fallout 3 we have just that. The Ink Spots’ ‘I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire’ sweetly claims the desire to start a flame in our hearts, and a more appropriate metaphor couldn’t exist for Fallout 3. Seven years on, that f l a m e’s still burning.

“It was the first time we were given something of such raw, bone-chilling scale that seeing it for the first time forces a gasp”

My mistake having been forcefully corrected by an impressively prompt execution at the hands of some Raiders to the north, I did in fact manage

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o I’m sitting at my computer, like I am every time the clock hand struts indignantly past 4 o’ clock in the morning, and I’m unnerving the pixels on my screen with an empty glare. My eyes trace their contours, and it’s immediately indicative to any onlooker that, desk awash with glowing peripherals and headphones-adorned, I’m playing a video game. But this game’s different. It requires an astute precision, but it isn’t a tricky platformer. It takes the killer instinct of self-preservation, but this isn’t a bullet-emblazoned shooter. Satisfied I understand the graph before me, I click. Instantly, my abstracted inventory floods with hundreds of the same entry- virtual clothing for virtual people that will never exist. This is a role-playing game, the order of magnitude still unbeknownst to me at the time. I control the merchandise. I am the trader.

“We have to look at the quality of life of gamers and ask ‘is this good?’”

de-facto standards on pricing, he described the high community importance of game-marketplaces: “I was discussing trading problems with people in the community, and this idea formed about an entirely new site to escape [them]. We’re not really saying “oh, you should trade in this way and this way only”, we’re just offering a guide. When I started working on the site I made steps to ensure there was transparency in everything that occurred.” So some bear the burden of constructing guidelines, but I wondered how these ad-hocs affected those at the top dominating the system with automation. Speaking with a popular UK key-reseller, “you know in the games market it is all about commodity- wherever you get the games from it’s going to be the same game. The smaller the person, someone bedroom trading- they’re perfectly willing to make a much smaller margin on the product, whereas we’re running a company. We can’t compete with a guy willing to sell it for a 10p profit. But it’s necessary. Everyone has to have the option to participate.” Very liberal! Last on my list was somebody with academic credence to their opinions that could help me connect loose ends. Having written three books on the area, Professor Edward Castronova commented on its future importance: “In effect, currency trading has become THE revenue model. The real world didn’t invade the virtual; rather, the virtual is invading the real.” So should developers be kept in check? “Th “ e problem is when the exploitation of value exceeds the bounds set by standards of human dignity. We have to look at the quality of life of gamers and ask “is this good?” Suddenly, the items gracing my online inventory seemed a bit more daunting, but a bit more important. All that matters is I’m going to be rich.

“What the fuck am I doing with my life?” To figure out the answer to that so eloquently phrased question, I conducted some interviews. Having always vaguely comprehended the importance of in-game items, concocted currencies and the virtual markets haphazardly connecting them, I was, however, scant on facts. I yearned to understand just what it was that fuelled a synthetic micro-economy, and depleted so rapidly my student loan. Steam-chatting with the godfather to my trading antics, the man in charge of the ‘backpack’ network from which thousands determine Image: Pictures Of Money, Flickr

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eter Moore, The Chief Operating Officer of EA, spoke out saying that EA had little interest in re-releasing the company’s older titles on newer platforms. In fact, he went as far to say that a company that releases remakes and remasters is “pushing stuff out because you’ve run out of ideas”. Companies have bringing out souped-up versions of old classics to the newest and shiniest machines since the inception of the industry, so why now are people causing a stink? One of the reasons remasters are becoming increasingly common is that, in a world of development costs that number in the hundreds of millions, re-releasing a pre-existing game is a good, cheap way to have something quickly available for release with minimal investment and in a short time. Many have complained that teams working on remasters could be better utilised by working on a new game rather than retooling an old one. This argument has merit on the surface, but many remasters are developed by a much smaller team whilst the main team works on a something new, or the project is sometimes outsourced to another developer. For example, the remasters of Naughty Dog’s PS3 games; The Last of Us: Remastered was developed by a much smaller team and the job of remastering the Uncharted games was handed to Sony studio Bluepoint Games. Remastering games also gives new gamers an avenue to play some beloved classics, some of which are now incredibly difficult to track down and expensive. The Team Ico games (ICO and Shadow of the Colossus) were originally released on the Playstation 2 in 2001 and 2005 respectively. The two of them are critical darlings and are often held up as some of the finest examples of video games as an art form; it’s not uncommon to see the two of them place highly in your typical best video games of all time lists. As a result of this fame (and very low print runs) both games are near impossible to find. The HD collection contains both games for a fraction of the price of a copy of one of the two, and it fixes the muddy graphics and shuttering frame rate, making them by far and away the best method of experiencing these games.

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he past four episodes of Life is Strange have been a blast. Atmospheric, fun, and packed with nerdy references, the story of time travelling photography nerd Max Caulfield and her best-friend-maybe-girlfriend Chloe’s attempts to find a missing girl and save the town of Arcadia Bay from a tornado has captured a rapt fandom chomping at the bit for the final instalment. The story is unique, the characters complex and interesting, and the indie soundtrack lovely. In the finale of the episode four, the game raised the light on a big reveal, and left us on a cliff-hanger that had me squawking ‘NO!’ and wanting to hurl my controller at the screen. Skip forward a few weeks. I download the final episode at one minute past midnight on the release day. I open it up, suck down some coffee, and see Max, tied to a chair in the clutches of the main villain. I was ready to be blown away. Then I found I wasn’t doing a lot of playing in this episode. Life is Strange is already focused on the character and story more than the gameplay, and that’s usually fine by me. Yet, with the sheer amount of exposition in Polarised, you might find yourself just listening to monologues, waiting for the game to remember you’re still there. Combined with the spontaneous stealth section, it feels like you put in Metal Gear Solid by mistake. That said, the subplots of minor characters are resolved very nicely here, particularly the morally grey David Madsen. Life is Strange’s mature and sensitive treatment of the issue of PTSD in war veterans is definitely not what I expected from this game, but I’m still very pleased. The episode’s strongest section is definitely the nightmare sequence. Creepy, weird, heart-rending, playing with both audience expectations and game mechanics to be very effectively creepy, atmospheric, and, when the need arises, hilarious, but... Well, the sequence doesn’t go anywhere, and it’s a jarring departure from Life is Strange’s usual tone and gameplay that it feels out of place. Thanks for showing me this demo for your upcoming stealthhorror game, Dontnod. Very good, let me know about the release date, but can I play Life is Strange now? And unfortunately the game ends with one of the cardinal sins of video game writing; the one that made a million Mass Effect fans scream. After stressing the importance of autonomy and player choices all the way through the game, allowing you to carefully cultivate relationships with characters, the game holds out two options and goes: “Okay, so which ending do you want?” So what was the point of all those decisions you made, if you just pick one of two options at the end? If you’ve been doing your best to choose well so you get the happiest ending for these characters, this is a total rip-off. Overall though, Life is Strange has still been good fun. It’s done some exciting things - a cinematic direction, heavy focus on female characters, and quirky time travel mechanics - and that makes it worth at least a look. Just steel yourself for a let-down ending.

Image: tom le chat, Flickr

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or centuries humanity has looked up at the stars and wondered if there is anyone else out there. Well now we may finally be close to learning whether we are alone in the universe. Astronomers have discovered a large group of objects or structures orbiting the KIC 8462852 star just outside of our own Milky Way. The Kepler Space Telescope identified an unusual light pattern coming from the star, which alerted astronomers, including Jason Wright of Penn State University, to take a closer look. In the coming months Wright hopes to learn exactly what this area of tightly grouped matter is made of in order to determine whether it is something natural, such as a group of comets, or something alien. In addition, the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) has used the Allen Telescope Array to analyse any possible radio signals coming from the area. Their results should be published in the coming weeks.

“Of all the planets so far discovered only a very small number of them could be capable of supporting life.� It is doubtful the human race will ever agree on the existence of alien life. People can fall anywhere on the scale from utter sceptic to absolute believer. Yet a recent YouGov poll discovered that more than half of us accept the possibility of alien creatures, with America and Britain among the highest countries harbouring these believers. The poll revealed that age is a factor in this debate. In Britain 59% of young people aged between 18 and 24 believe in

aliens while only 45% of people aged over 60 share their conviction. Perhaps this is due to modern day popular culture which has seen a rise in the science fiction genre through the mediums of literature, film and television. This may have in turn led to a greater acceptance or interest in science fact.

“It is doubtful the human race will ever agree on the existence of alien life.� Given just how vast our ever expanding universe is, is it really that impossible to imagine there could be another form of intelligent life out there? Of all the planets so far discovered only a very small number of them could be capable of supporting life. Within a solar system a planet must be close enough to its host star to receive its warmth (the sun in our case) but not too close to burn the surface of the planet. The planet must also follow an orbit that does not take it too far away from the star otherwise it will freeze. This small area of space is called the Habitable Zone or sometimes the Goldilocks Zone – an astronomer’s twist on the classic fable whereby the temperature is not too hot or too cold to support life as we know it. So if the thought of alien life seems extraordinary, remember it was only by miraculous chance that human life managed to evolve. But if aliens did exist what would they look like? From a scientist’s perspective microscopic bacteria found on another world would be classed as ‘life’, however, the beings that created the megastructure around KIC 8462852 would have to be infinitely

more complex creatures like us. To build such a structure they would require strong muscles in their arms as well as hands complete with fingers and those ever useful opposable thumbs - unless they used tentacles or telepathy to move objects. To p o s sess the knowledge of space travel t h e y would n e e d l a r g e brains and would be highly intelligent. To survive space travel they would require strong lungs and hearts together with a strong respiratory and circulatory system. In reality, such speculation remains to be entirely theoretical until the origin of this structure can

be confirmed. Are there really little green men running around out there? We could be very close to finding out...

Earlier this year a huge investment in search for extraterrestrial life was launched. Stephen Hawking called the it the biggest question in science, adding that “somewhere in the cosmos, perhaps, intelligent life may be watching these lights of ours, aware of what they mean.� Maybe his words were prophetic? The ten year project will start in January 2016 and that is when we are likely to hear more about KIC 8462852 megastructure. Anna Jastrzembska

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ctogenesis, raising a foetus outside the human body in an artificial womb, seems like an impossible goal but it is set to become possible in the next 20 to 30 years and it could change the lives of women wanting to have children as well as the perception of women in society. While the risk of having a baby in today’s world is much lower than it was a hundred years ago, it is estimated that over 250,000 mothers die in childbirth every year. The use of an artificial womb would save these lives and prevent the complications that many more mothers develop. It would also mean that women with a damaged uterus or a disease which could cause risky complications in the event of pregnancy, such as Graves’s disease, would still be able to have a healthy child. Pregnancy can also be a stressful time for

“Artificial wombs could change the way women are perceived in society and may lead to higher job equality� mothers. They have to worry about what they are putting into their bodies and the tasks they are carrying out, thinking about how this will affect their unborn child. With the child developing in an artificial womb, the mothers are free to live their lives. This would also prevent disorders such as foetal alcohol

syndrome which can occur in circumstances where mothers drink during pregnancy. Artificial wombs would also reduce the need for surrogate mothers – women who have a baby for somebody else. Every year, hundreds of women become surrogate mothers where in some situations they are the biological mother (traditional surrogacy). This not only exposes these women to the risks of pregnancy but with a traditional surrogate, there is the added risk of becoming attached to the baby, such as in the ‘Baby M’ case in the 1980’s. Artificial wombs would allow gay male couples to have a baby of their own using only an egg donor instead of having to find a surrogate to carry the baby for them which is a huge physical and emotional commitment. Artificial wombs could also have a social impact. As a woman would no longer be needed to carry a baby, it could change the way women are perceived in society and may lead to higher job equality. It would also allow older women to have a child safely and may prevent some miscarriages. If research in this area continues at its current rate, artificial wombs could be a reality within our lifetime. The revolutionary reality of such a development could lead to less pregnancy complications, allow more people to have children safely as well as change the status of women in our modern society.

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rtificial wombs are theoretical devices that allow pregnancies outside a woman’s body. In theory it could offer uncomplicated safer pregnancies, however, in reality they could present a number of problems. Pregnancy is a very contentious ethical and religious topic. What would happen if a mother decides she doesn’t want her baby anymore? Current abortion rights in the UK allow a woman to terminate a pregnancy if there are health complications with the parent or baby. However, in an artificial pregnancy there would be no health risks to the parent and much lower health risks for the baby. If parents decided to abort a baby in this situation, switching off the machine could arguably constitute murder. There are a number of processes in the way pregnancy works that are unknown. Because medical knowledge is incomplete, by not including these processes in the artificial womb a baby could be put at risk. Presently, the technology required is not advanced enough to support human life. We can oxygenate the blood of a fetus with “extra-corporeal membrane oxygenation� or ECMO for short. This is a procedure that is normally carried out for heart

transplants and in the very sick. However, there are a number of problems with ECMO which has been associated with kidney failure, bleeding problems, breakdown of red blood cells and infection. These could put the baby at unnecessary risk. Because ECMO in unborn children is a new and untested technology the first babies in artificial wombs could be at immeasurable risk. If artificial wombs were perfected it could become the norm. Whilst this would be safer for those at risk of complications of pregnancy, the vast majority of pregnancies are uncomplicated and do not require intervention. Women receiving artificial womb pregnancies when they do not require it would place unnecessary burden on an already stretched NHS. The physical and emotional nature of pregnancy and the birthing process forms a tremendous bond between a mother and her child. By removing the mother from the process, this could weaken the bond. Stigma may also be generated through different birthing processes. Children and adults alike could face bullying and discrimination for being “artificial babies� or alternatively “non-artificial babies�. When a woman does not undergo a pregnancy she will not undergo the changes to her body that would normally occur. Her breasts will not lactate and so she will not be able to provide milk for her baby, which provides valuable nutrients to promote healthy growth and helps protect against infection. In theory artificial wombs could be a good thing, and once perfected they may be beneficial for the small number of mothers who are at an elevated risk of encountering complications during pregnancy. However, for the population as a whole, artificial wombs are a controversial and unnecessary concept.

The Courier

Monday 2 November 2015

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tudies into sexuality have always been the rage with scientists, with the nature versus nurture debate at the heart of our attitudes to sexuality. Recently, a team of post-doctoral scientists have published findings from a study in which they claim to have found a method for correctly predicting someone’s sexuality, 70% of the time, by simply studying regions of their genome. A team from the University of California, Los Angeles, headed up by Tuck Ngyun presented the results to an audience at the annual conference for the American Society of Human Genetics last week. The team conducted a study into 47 pairs of identical male twins. 37 of these pairs had one gay and one straight twin, and 10 pairs had twins who were both gay. The team scanned 140,000 regions of the particpants’ genomes and whittled the areas of interest down to a potential 6,000. They then built computer models which investigated methylated areas of DNA, which are ‘switched on’. The best algorithm generated by the team’s computer models predicted the sexuality of the participant by looking at 5 methylated points of DNA. This was accurate in 67% of the cases. A press release based on the abstract of the study was sent out by the organisers of the conference to media, and within hours, the story of a definitive ‘gay gene’ was being worked into print the world over. At the conference, however, Tuck Ngyun and his team were ridiculed for the weakness of their results, and asked if it would be possible to reproduce the study and consistently predict the sexuality of more people. Due to a lack of funding, the team ran the study with a tiny sample of participants, which in itself was inadvisable. The findings can’t be generalised, which sensationalist media have not taken into

account. In scientific studies, a result of 67% in a tiny pool of participants is statistically insignificant.

“The story of a definitive ‘gay gene’ was being worked into print the world over”

The team also split the participants into a ‘testing’ set and a ‘training’ set. Information from the ‘training’ set was used to generate the algorithms, and then tested on the second group. So a study that was already statistically insignificant suddenly becomes doubly so. Similarly, the best algorithm generated by the team’s computers only found 5 methylation markers out of 6,000 regions of interest, which could have been found by chance alone. 5 markers out of a possible 6,000 once again do not prove anything. Other scientists in the field of epigenetics have pointed out that although the methylated genes are thought to be involved in immune genes which have been linked to sexual attraction, the correlation between the methylation of these genes and its

influence on their function cannot be proven by this study. Methylation of DNA can occur at any point in a person’s lifetime, and can be caused by internal factors (e.g. genetic fac-

tors) or external factors in the environment. So, even if the results from this study could be counted upon to accurately predict sexuality, it can’t be used to predict if a child will grow up to be gay on methylation markers alone, because there are too many factors involved. To further delineate the conclusions of the study in the question; it only focuses on homosexual men. Regardless of further replications of the study and similar studies - a ‘homosexual gene’ can’t be coined unless it informs female sexuality, too. What about homosexual women? And that’s before even taking into account the spectrum of sexuality that exists - if genes inform homosexuality and heterosexuality, then are there ‘asexuality’ and ‘bisexuality’ genes too? Or is research of this kind a Pandora’s box, and better left unopened? The ethical implications of defining biological markers for sexuality are varied and unnerving in the extreme. If it were possible to predict a child’s sexuality, how would that inform their upbringing? In a world where clinics for ‘conversion therapies’ exist, so that homophobic parents subject their gay offspring to therapies which claim to correct their sexuality, would a biological basis for predicting homosexuality do more harm than good? Although it would be great to prove that some of us are just ‘born this way’, such technologies could give homophobic parents the power to abort foetuses with the biological markers. Looking at the wider picture, how would regimes that condemn homosexuality utilise such markers? In countries where homosexuality carries a death penalty, a positive ‘gay gene test’ could spell a death sentence. We’re not anywhere near isolating a ‘gay gene’. But maybe that’s a good thing.

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otard delusion is a rare mental illness more commonly known as the ‘walking corpse’ syndrome. Sufferers vary in their symptoms with many genuinely believe they are dead, don’t exist as a person, are putrefying or are missing body parts. It has been suggested that the disorder is related to other mental health issues such as depression, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia but there has been little research to confirm such an assertion.

“She thought she couldn’t die as she was already dead” This nihilistic disorder was first identified in 1880 when a patient known as ‘Madame X’ went to the neurologist Jules Cotard claiming she had no body parts, no soul and was dead. She thought she couldn’t die as she was already dead and, therefore, had no need to eat; she died of starvation soon after the consultation. Another patient was known to have died of the condition by pouring acid over themselves in an attempt

to stop being one of the ‘walking dead’. Patients not only have been known to stop eating but also to stop sleeping, using the bathroom and to spend time in graveyards attempting to socialise with people they feel they can relate to. The delusion is caused by a defect in the fusiform gyrus area of the brain and in the amygdala, the areas of the brain that process emotions and recognises faces. During the times when the patients are relapsing, their brain resembles that of someone during anaesthesia or asleep. Treatment of this rare condition is generally a combination of anti-depressants and anti-psychotic drugs. More experimental treatments, such as electrotherapy, have been known to yield some success although there is no official cure yet. Although the illness is rare, cases are still found with the most recent being identified in early 2015 in the UK. As a weird and wacky condition it certainly point’s one thing out, the brain is an incredibly mysterious organ even by 21st century science standards.

0-.13-63=C&30&&,E3 FGHIJK7LI That earthy smell that permeates through the damp air after a rainy night as you leave your garden or walk through the park; that’s petrichor. It stems from the Greek word ‘petra’, simply meaning stone, and the suffix ‘ichor’, the ethereal fluid that ran through the veins of the gods revered by said stone-describing people. After being investigated in 1964, it was revealed that this olfactory phenomenon is due to an oil exuded by certain plants during dry spells along with geosmin, an organic compound produced by soil-dwelling bacteria being taken up into the air when it rains. Ollie Burton

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am one of these people who proudly say that they prefer their dog to other humans. I still don’t really understand why I’m not studying to be a vet. Pets are just so much easier to deal with than humans. And it’s not just my humble opinion; it’s a scientific fact. Not without a reason there are so many kinds of animal therapy. Animals are priceless to our happiness. If you have a pet, you are less likely to suffer from depression and loneliness, and tend to have lower cholesterol and blood pressure. Cat owners are 40% less likely to suffer from heart diseases, which is mostly due to purring. Cats purr when they are happy but also to deal with stress- and that effect transfers to us. When a cat curls up on your laps and purr, they help you relax, which is part of the reason why cat cafes are so popular. Being around pets in general causes a drop in levels of stress hormone (cortisol). But there is more to having pets than preventing negative effects. Petting animals stimulates release of oxytocin and serotonintwo “happy hormones” that you also feel when you are in love or eat your favourite food. Pet owners are proven to be more physically active, which has positive health and mental effects. Pets bring routine to our lives and feeling that you have order and purpose in your everyday life makes you happier. They also strengthen our social connections. Even if you aren’t a pet owner, I’m quite sure that at least sometimes you can’t help but smile at a passing dog. Dog walkers are more likely to be approached by strangers and even a simple, friendly “hi” can do wonders to your mood. Talking about pets is also considered to be one of the best icebreakers and widened social circle results in less loneliness and, you guessed that, more happiness. Unfortunately, even if you consider yourself to be a happy pet owner, chances are that you live away from them for most of the year. And I understand perfectly that regular visits to Jesmond Dene’s Pet Corner and approaching cats on the street is not nearly the same. It doesn’t mean that we are doomed, though. Research shows that people who grew up with pets (key age being between 7 and 14 years old) have higher self-esteem and competence, and it tends to be a long-term effect. Positive effects of animals get even more important for people suffering from chronic diseases and trauma. Now, breaking news: just presence of animals is enough to provide a calming effect. And if you’ve read my column last week, you probably remember that our brains treat images seen on TV as real. So YES, watching cat videos is actually good for you. It really is the small things in life that make you happy. Just like little stresses like getting late to a lecture or spilling your coffee can destroy your day, research shows that a couple of small, posiPhoto by tive experiences can effectively boost your Anna Jastrzembska mood. Additionally, having a picture of your pet somewhere when you can constantly see it provides positive psychological reinforcement. So next time when you’re worried that browsing cute animal pictures is procrastinating, you can rationalize with yourself that it’s just mental health hygiene. No need to thank me.

The Courier

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Monday 2 November 2015

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arlier this year, three Physical Geography students from Newcastle University travelled to the Gígjokull outlet glacier in Iceland to conduct a series of experiments for their dissertation projects. Jonathan Hillaby, Devin Harrison and Helen Bowater braved the Icelandic wilderness to conduct their studies. Forgoing the comforts of indoor plumbing, the trio camped out hours away from the nearest town to collate raw data. After deciding they wanted to do something with an adventurous flavour, Jonathan and Devin became interested in volcano-ice interactions and the resulting geomorphological change. The 2010 Eyjafjallajökull eruption, which dominated headlines and column inches all over the world by grounding planes and stranding thousands of

travellers, was the focal point for their projects. Professor Andy Russell supervised the three students in Iceland. Professor Russell is a specialist in floods and their effects on glacifuvial

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systems in Iceland, Greenland and Chile. He has extensive field experience of examining flood impact on both the northern and

southern margins of the Vatnajökull ice-cap and carried out fieldwork at Eyjafjallajökull during the 2010 eruption. “When we got to Iceland, it was a mix of excitement and trepidation. The day after we landed we found the most beautiful place not far from our campsite complete with a guy playing acoustic guitar,” recounted Jonathan. But despite the picturesque surroundings, the trip was full of difficulties. “The first week was very rough and tiresome due to the distances of ground we covered each day [upwards of 12 miles],” related Devin. “But the moment we met up with Professor Andy Russell our spirits were lifted; as with him there was transport to the field site, better research equipment and a much higher quality of food.”

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“My dissertation investigates the effects of Ice-Block impacts on proglacial environments. The fieldwork was done over two weeks in Iceland in front of the Gígjokull outlet glacier, flowing from the Eyjafjallajökull ice cap. The main impacts are the kettle holes found in the proglacial environment following the 2010 eruption. I measured this using a DGPS. This helped in locating the kettle holes with great accuracy, helping me understand how jökulhlaups from the 2010 eruption influenced the positioning of the ice-blocks. We also used a remote sensing process called Structure from Motion to help create a Digital Elevation Model. This research will help in understanding how much of an impact Ice-Blocks have during a volcanogenic jökulhlaup, and can be used for future, possibly larger events such as at nearby Katla, which throughout history has gone off only a few years after Eyjafjallajökull.”

Arguably one of the greatest perks of reading Geography at university is the fieldtrips. While the majority of trips in your undergraduate years entails the short bus ride to the Lake District to stand in a bog in the pouring rain, there are some pretty incredible opportunities. During the Easter holidays last year approximately 200 stage 2 Geography students were shipped off to the southwest USA, Ireland, Borneo, Hong Kong, Copenhagen, Berlin and Barcelona and that’s before the dissertation fieldwork even begins. Given the diverse range of topics covered under the Geography canopy, students can pretty much choose to study any phenomenon, anywhere in the world. Previous expeditions have included Greenland, Iceland, Norway, Canada, USA, Bosnia, Barbados, Kosovo, South Africa, Israel and Zambia, investigating everything from glacial moraines to the socio-economic impacts of the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Basically, Geography takes you places.

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Left to right: Helen Bowater, Devin Harrison, Prof. Andy Russell and Jonathan Hillaby. Photo by Jonathan Hillaby

;#+(& “My dissertation revolves mainly around the jökulhlaups that occurred from the Gigjökull glacier in Iceland as a result of the Eyjafjallajokull volcanic eruption in 2010. These floods caused major geomorphological change within the proglacial area of Gigjokull. The aim of my dissertation is to understand how the landscape has recovered since this high magnitude event and the role of the proglacial fluvial system in this. In order to achieve this I used a differential GPS (DGPS) to survey relevant geomorphological features. This data can then be turned into graphs and maps that will display the results of my research and allow me to interpret what has been occurring at the study site since the high magnitude flood events in 2010.”

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Left to right: Jonathan Hillaby, Devin Harrison, and Helen Bowater Photo by Professor Andy Russell

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jökull - glacier jökulhlaups - glacial outburst floods fjall - mountain eyja - island Eyjafjallajökull- the glacier on top of the mountains from which you can see the islands

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8#$#& Helen’s research focused on the Little Ice Age, which extended throughout the Middle Ages in the UK, back when the Thames froze over annually. The same phenomenon also occurred in Iceland during this period. Helen utilised Lichenometry to determine the age of the rocks which the lichens inhabited. This technique was only possible due to the consistency that lichens grow. The process required calibration. The method for this involved collecting lichen data from gravestones, which are engraved with an accurate date, and then collecting a sample from the rocks - the first dataset could then be used as a control. Photos by Jonathan Hillaby

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The greatest British racing driver ever? Securing his third world title in Texas made Lewis Hamilton the most successful British driver in history, alongside Jackie Stewart. Hamilton emerged through the McLaren driver development programme, which he joined aged 13 as a kart racer. In his debut F1 season Hamilton agonisingly missed out on the world title by one point, but managed to overcome a challenge by Felipe Massa to claim his first championship the following year. After a number of frustrating years looking at the back side of Sebastian Vettel’s Red Bull, Hamilton clinched his second title last year. Making the most of the superior Mercedes engine, he repeated the feat earlier this month, once again bettering long term rival, teammate and sore loser Nico Rosberg. Hamilton’s race success has always

been accompanied by scrutiny of his private life. In 2007 he moved to Switzerland to avoid ‘media scrutiny’, definitely not to avoid tax. He then moved to Monaco in 2012, also definitely not to avoid tax. Soon after starting out in F1, he started dating Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger, who regularly appeared at races from the 2007 season onwards. Their incessant splitting up and reuniting was heavily focused on by the media, specifically as the reason for his struggles during the 2010 season. Most recently they broke up this year, which may or may not be the reason Hamilton showed off a bright blonde shlid after the summer break. Whether this was the case or not, his racing was on point this year, wrapping up the title with three races to spare. James Sproston

In a spin: Lewis Hamilton celebrates in smoky style Image: Jake Archibald, Flickr

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0&995*/ ;<=,885>+9 O’Sullivan is regarded by many as the most naturally gifted snooker player to ever play the game. He currently holds the record for the most competitive century breaks (794), the most maximum breaks in professional competition (13) and for the three fastest maximum breaks of all time. He is also a five-time World Champion and is third on the alltime ranking victories (27). The rocket’s fast and attacking style of play has led him to be one of the most popular players on the circuit. Often outspoken, O’Sullivan isn’t scared of controversy, once stating that he played better with his left hand than his opponent could do with his right. However, life hasn’t always been easy for the reigning British Champion. In 1992 his father was jailed for murder and O’Sullivan has suffered with clinical depression and drug-related problems during his illustrious career. Nevertheless, no one can question his ability. The best example of this was winning the 2013 World Championships after apparently “only playing snooker ten days in the previous nine months” prior to the event. When he does finally decide to call time on his career, snooker will lose one of its greatest icons. Joe Parry

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Ohuruogu has become synonymous with strong finishes Image: Nick Webb, Flickr

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After winning Olympic Gold in Beijing (2008), World Championship Gold in Osaka (2007) and Moscow (2013), Christine Ohuruogu has cemented herself as one of the best 400m runners of her generation. She is renowned for her strong finishes, seemingly coming from nowhere to medal. Arguably her greatest performance was in the 2013 World Championship final where she managed to break Kathy Cook’s 29 year old British record and win gold by 0.004 seconds. Ohuruogu has also been a vital member of the GB 4x400m relay team, becoming a four-time World Champi-

onship Bronze Medallist in the 4x400m. Ohuruogu breaks the stereotype that athletes are stupid, having written the “Camp Gold” children’s books as well as attaining a linguistics degree from UCL. The veteran runner was raised less than a mile away from where she would eventually win a silver medal at the 2012 Olympic Games. Another trait of Ohuruogu is to perform at her best on the biggest stages, running her four fastest times in either World or Olympic Finals, which is what matters in sport; winning when it counts. Joe Parry

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Who is the greatest of all time? It’s a question that often dominates the airwaves and provokes fiery arguments on the tele for pundits or between pals down the pub. In football: Messi or Ronaldo? Golf: Tiger or Nichlaus? For Rugby: Wilkinson or Carter? Funnily enough when the topic of darts comes up, it’s an automatic answer. Phil Taylor. ‘The Power’ has dominated his sport for over 20 years. He’s won 16 World Championships, a feat most likely to never be matched; the next closest player has 5. He’s scored 11 televised 9-darters and his lifetime average is over 100. The most telling indication of his greatness? No other player has a winning record against him. Not bad for a lad from Stoke who started his working life making toilet roll handles. Harry Musson

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Victoria Pendleton is the reigning Olympic Champion in the Keirin event. The track specialist demonstrated her hard work and dedication to the sport even whilst still being a student, gaining a ‘degree’ in Sports and Exercise Science at Northumbria University. The Bedfordshire born rider went on to compete in competitions worldwide, immediately having success by winning a collection of medals throughout her early career in the sport. Pendleton had her most significant breakthrough in the 2005 Cycling World Championships, becoming the 3rd woman in 40 years to win a gold medal in the Sprint event, spearhead-

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ing the rest of her success to date. In total she has collected a staggering nine world titles, including an impressive and undefeated record of 6 titles in the individual sprint event. The former team Sky member not only achieved Olympic gold but has also been former European and Commonwealth Champion, covering all bases and forcing herself to the top in all aspects of competition in cycling. Pendleton’s achievement at the London Olympics, with her two gold medals and one silver has added the title of Great Britain’s most successful female Olympian to her repertoire. Lynsey Brownlee

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Gregory James Rutherford is the current Olympic, Commonwealth, European and World Champion at long jump. Yes, you did hear that correctly, that tall ginger lad from Milton Keynes is currently holding the titles of all of the major competitions simultaneously. He is only the fifth British athlete of all time to do this truly remarkable feat. He is also the British record holder jumping 8.51m. Rutherford has still fallen victim to his fair share of criticism throughout his career, with allegations that he has Greg Rutherford currently holds an incredible 4 titles Image: Robbie Dale, Flickr

been ‘lucky’ to win. His modest jump of 8.31m in the 2012 Olympics to take the gold seems very pale in comparison the world record of 8.95m, but as the saying goes you can only beat what is put in front of you and Rutherford has proved this time and time again on the world stage. He finally silenced many of his critics with his World Championship victory this year, jumping 8.41m which made him one of only six athletes to ever jump over 8.40m. Thus showing Greg Rutherford to be a true champion. Matt Larkin

The Courier

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!"#$%&#'($)#&*+$)#*'(# !"#$!%&#'(#)*$+#*,%$-.$/&#$/0$1"#$2/.1$3)..-/&)1#$ *-4)5*-#.$-&$1"#$6/*5+$/0$0//1,)557$8&$2)19"$+)%.:$1"#$ 16/$&#-;",/<*-&;$9-1-#.$)*#$+-4-+#+:$,<1$./$1//$-.$1"#$ =&-$9)23<.:$-1$.##2.7$!"#$%&'()*%#$$,'-./$01-234$ 9)<;"1$ <3$ 6-1"$ >#69).15#$ 0)&$ ?/#$ @#*,#*1$ )&+$ A<&+#*5)&+$0)&$B-)2$C)*./&$1/$+#,)1#$1"#$D#%$1)5D-&;$ SRLQWV IURP WKH UHFHQW ¿[WXUH For those few who don’t know, Sunderland made it 6 wins in a row against their rivals with a 3-0 victory. However, the game was shrouded in controversy. Newcastle had dominated without scoring and as the first half drew to a close, Sunderland mounted a rare break and a clumsy Fabricio Coloccini brought down Sunderland’s Steven Fletcher, that saw the Newcastle captain sent off and the home side awarded a penalty.

awarding the penalty to Sunderland, although Herbert accuses striker Steven Fletcher of “going down way too easily”. Perhaps surprisingly, they were also in agreement that the red card shown to Coloccini was unfair. “It wasn’t a red card”, says Carson, “it’s obvious the keeper was going to get there first”.

“He’s been getting abuse all over the place” As if the awarding of the penalty wasn’t controversial enough, the scoring of it was even more so. Up stepped Adam Johnson. The Sunderland winger has come under intense ridicule and scrutiny from supporters and the media, since being accused of having sex with a 15-year-old girl, the trial has been pushed back to next year. Having netted the penalty, Johnson proceeded to run the length of the pitch in order to celebrate his goal in front of the travelling Geordies, who have orchestrated a large amount of mockery towards the player since the incident became public. Newcastle fan Herbert’s dislike for the player is clear, he simply states, “we don’t even need to go into detail about Johnson”. At the o t h e r end of the table, Mackem Carson is quick to

“It was like a tackle from American Football, he just takes him out”

“It was like a tackle from American Football, he just takes him out”, states Carson. To which our Geordie representative immediately replies, “It’s clumsy but those kind of challenges happen all over the pitch”. The Mackem corner contests the legality of Coloccini’s shoulder charge, claiming that “normally you get a free-kick” for a challenge of that nature. Both later agreed that referee Robert Madley was probably right in

leap to Johnson’s defence, arguing that the 28-year-old was more than within his right to release his frustration in celebration. “He was very justified in going down the other end, he’s been getting abuse all over the place from your (Newcastle) fans, he just wanted to let the passion out”. Even with 10 men, Newcastle

“We were absolutely smashing it and I thought we’ve got this in the bag”

Photography by Calum Wilson

C*)."$)&+$E<*&5#%F$ /&#$.-+#+$*-4)5*-#. Burnley vs Blackburn Rovers 14th April 1979. Before 2014, that was the last time Burnley had managed to beat their east Lancashire rivals Blackburn Rovers at a simple game of football. In that time, the Clarets had to witness Rovers become champions of England and endure eleven games without a taste of victory. For years the Claret and Blue Army looked up towards their bitterest of enemies sitting in prettier leagues and winning titles, only earning the right to even play the men in stripes every once in a blue moon. In 2009 the Burnley boys broke into the big time and enjoyed a season in the Premier League, beating the likes

of Manchester United, but again falling foul to two more derby defeats. However, 2014 came and under the saviour Sean Dyche’s management, Burnley’s Jason Shackell and Danny Ings wrote themselves into history, scoring legendary goals at Blackburn’s own Ewood Park to give the claret faithful something to cheer for the first time in over 35 years. Just last week, Burnley produced a repeat performance with Scott Arfield’s long range screamer earning Burnley’s second win in a row for the first time since the 1970’s – perhaps marking the turn of a recently one sided table. Alex Hendley

Burnley recently enjoyed a rare win over their bitter rivals Image: Adam Haworth, Flickr

maintained the majority of the possession and created more chances and yet were undone by two second half goals. Carson admits that Sunderland were lucky to reach half time with the lead. “We didn’t turn up in the first half, we were diabolical, that’s the worst we’ve played all season”. A derby defeat is always hard to swallow, but for Herbert this particular loss was the bitterest. “For the last 5 meetings, you (Sunderland) played us off the park, but this one, especially in the first half, we were absolutely smashing it and I thought we’ve got this in the bag”.

It’s now 6 derby wins in a row in Sunderland’s favour, to which Carson proudly announces “we’ve already got shirts printed”. With his pride at stake, Herbert is quick to remind us that “we still finish above them in the table every year”. It’s clearly a small consolation for the Newcastle faithful and Carson claims, “it just shows how bitter the fans are”. What’s certain is that the next TyneWear match up will be another hotly fought affair. Herbert believes his side will have the upper hand, “considering we would have smashed this one if that refereeing decision hadn’t have happened, I reckon we would have won about 3-0”. However, Carson, full of confidence, cheekily proclaims, “I can see 7 coming”.

Bolt vs Gatlin Usain Bolt should need no introduction. He is the fastest man of all time, finishing the 100m in the 2009 World Championships in a staggering 9.58 seconds. The man has never been beaten in a major competition, the only blemish being his 2011 World Championship disqualification due to a false start. Yet, there was considerable doubt prior to the 2015 World Championships because of one man, Justin Gatlin. Gatlin has previously tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. Since returning from his ban Gatlin has been back to his best, having run the fastest 100m of 2015 and even beating Bolt in an earlier Diamond League meet. Gatlin is just one of many drug-taking sprinters that are seriously tarnishing the reputation of the sport. If Gatlin was to win, it would be a seriously dark day for athletics and this was looking like a real possibility. This was more than just a race. Step forward Usain Bolt. Bolt ran, for him, a modest time of 9.79 seconds edging out Gatlin by a mere one hundredth of a second. The Jamaican was heralded as the saviour of athletics and the victory seen as good triumphing evil. Matt Larkin

Usain Bolt has established himself as the king of sprinting Image: Neil Hooting, Flickr

Tiger Woods vs Phil Mickleson

Over the years, many of the greatest rivalries have been established on a Sunday afternoon on the PGA tour. Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson are widely regarded as two of best golfers and biggest rivals of the modern era. They are ranked 1 and 2 respectively in the Forbes’ 2015 list of the most valuable brands in sport, ahead of athletes like Roger Federer and Lebron James. But it cannot be doubted which player has had more success. Mickelson won 5 major championships over a 9-year period. For any sportsperson, this is an outstanding achievement. And yet, the left hander’s record pales in comparison to his American compatriot. Woods has 14 major titles to his name, captured

over 11 years. For a significant period of time, he was an unstoppable force. No other sport had a ‘Tiger’ equivalent. There hasn’t been a run of wins like it before, and it may never happen again. But both players have experienced a fall from grace after their last major victory. ‘Lefty’ has struggled with inconsistency and hasn’t been able to keep up with the likes of Jordan Spieth and Rory McIlroy. Meanwhile Woods has suffered a monumental collapse since his last major win in 2008, and is ranked #334 in the world. This means the oncebitter rivalry no longer appears to be a factor in the golfing world. Gabriel Pennington

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By James Sproston at Sports Centre Written By Alex Hendley This weeks Club of the Week, chosen by our very own AU Officer Angus Taylor is Newcastle University’s Men’s Hockey Club. Winning three out of four games on Wednesday was an impressive feat, especially their 13-0 drubbing of Chester. Speaking to club President Will O’Brian, The Courier got an insight into the hockey boys’ performances last week - in particular the 1st team’s dramatic flicks win against Glasgow. “Newcastle were first to take, with James Veitch slotting home. Glasgow kept it at 1-1 before Joseph Malthouse swiftly made it 2-1 Newcastle. Jack Paisley was in goal for Newcastle and pulled off a brilliant save to deny Glasgow their second stroke, before Pete Reilly roofed his stroke to further increase Newcastle’s lead. After another Glasgow goal, Ben Stainer coolly finished. Once again, captain Jack Paisley saved another Glasgow stroke to win the game for Newcastle.” While it’s a team game, there have been some stand out performers this year. Andy Wortley has not only scored three goals but assisted five, while Alec Foxall has bagged six goals in four games. However, it’s not all about scoring goals and O’Brian gave special shout-outs to Dan Jarvis, given man of the match by his captain Joe Sutton for the last two games running, while Will McCreery has been deservedly described as a “centre back rock”. On the clubs general performance this year, O’Brian told The Courier: “The season has started extremely strongly for all 4 teams, with every team either leading or sitting 2nd in their respective Wednesday and Saturday leagues. The club’s aspirations for the season are to see the 1sts gain promotion to the premier BUCS league as well as into the Premier Division in the North of England. The 2nds are looking to push on from a very successful promotion campaign last year, and have started extremely strongly thus far. The 3rds are yet to lose a game this season, and are looking very strong, with the 4ths also starting well.” Freshers are a vital part of every sports club, and NUMHC is no exception. “With a very healthy influx of strong freshers into the club this year, every team is on track to surpass pre season expectations and really push for promotion in all leagues and there are high hopes for a few decent cup runs as well” Finally, here’s how the 3rds celebrated their 13-0 victory. “Post-match activities began with the escape of the Chester campus by using a tree stump to scale a fence. The team then headed to the closest McDonalds where they were challenged by many a local youth. A trip to Asda followed in search of the finest beverage of the land – port. The team returned to the Chester campus and proceeded to pass the time, before returning home under the moonlit sky.”

The spotlight this week was on intramural netball, with 2nd placed Sketball preparing to take on the Globe Trotters. Donning the mustard bibs, Sketball had won their last two games and featured Newcastle first-team player, Franky Fenn. In contrast their blue-clad opposition were playing together for the first time, so they were an unknown quantity going into the match. Once Sketball’s Harriet Noble had taken the first centre pass, the game was a fast-paced encounter. Although Sketball started fiercely, it was the Geographers who struck first, with Goal Attack Sarah Todhunter taking first blood. Within the first ten minutes, after Kirst Duncanson had replied for Sketball, neither team managed to pull ahead. Ellie Junod was in fine form, netting three for the Globe Trotters; however not one goal was without a reply as Franky Fenn and Duncanson were on hand to retain the stalemate. With the game finely poised at 4-4, Sketball began to dominate. Some sloppy shooting from the Globe Trotters’ attack allowed Skets to take advantage, with Duncanson and Fenn bagging two each. Sketball Centre Harriet Noble was the instigator of this resurgence, orchestrating the play from the centre, both vocally and technically. But the opposition responded well as a Todhunter goal was followed by two more from Junod. As half-time approached the game opened up. A turnover in the Skets’ goal circle led to a counter attack, allowing Wing Attack Alexia Fenn to tee up Franky Fenn to score her fourth of the game. This momentum was continued after the restart as an Argentina-esque passing move ended in a well-earned point. Franky Fenn spread the play to Noble who swiftly moved the ball on to Duncanson who clinically dispatched from a yard out.

Sketball chase the netball: Globe Trotters fight to retain possession

Image: Linda Scott-Robinson In the first half, it seemed that every time the Geographers turned over possession, Sketball won it back minutes later. This is in part down to the physical performance from Noble, but also the imperious Katrina Hindly in Goal Defence made a number of key blocks and interceptions. Having pulled the score back to 11-9 by the half-time break, Globe Trotters were keen to keep up the intensity whilst defending more rigorously. A number of the team seemed to be strug-

“With the game finely poised at 4-4, Sketball began to dominate” gling with various illnesses, at least by the sounds of the continuing coughing, so some Berocca may have been in order to help them overcome the deficit. In contrast, the Sketball team were focusing more on fitness as the team inhaler was passed around to boost recovery. These performance-enhancing

drugs exploited a grey area, as the league rules do not express the prohibition of such substances. Expect a full inquiry, a confession to Oprah and a feature film on the matter in the coming years. The bright blue Geographers were keen to maintain the fast pace of the first-half. This ferocity wasn’t matched by the opposition, allowing the team to draw the score level to 11-11. Sketball, a team of 3rd and 4th years, then responded though BUCS player Fenn to once again edge ahead. Globe Trotters fell further behind due to two quickfire Sketball goals, and poor handling ruined their chance to pull more back. By this point in the game the lack of substitutes had taken its toll on the two teams, relying on some sturdy defending to keep the score down. Globe Trotters’ Goal Keeper Katie Hunter and Sketball’s Emily Brock were both notably assertive, whilst Katrina Hindly (having moved to Goal Keeper) remained commanding in defence. Throughout the match the Wing Attacks had been marked out of the game

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by their respective Wing Defences, but Globe Trotter Nathalie Spink was given more space towards the end of the match. The Wing Attack’s on-point passing led a resurgence amongst the Geographers, with Todhunter putting away three goals before the final whistle. However another Franky Fenn finish gave Skets enough breathing space to see out the game until time was up. The final score of 19-15 was probably representative of the match as a whole, due to the quality and experience of Sketball. Despite only forming this season, Skets had a team chemistry that Globe Trotters were ultimately unable to rival. Having said that, there were positives for the Geographers. The level of intensity that the team maintained was impressive, and 15 points is an impressive tally that could be improved upon if they are more clinical next time around. More games will allow the team to gel and potentially become a real force to be reckoned with as the season progresses. 9%.0%*.23&:;)-&<5)#$%(&(%*+")*

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3-5 6-2 5-3 111-74 79-34 61-72 55-94 79-17 127-116 135-68 134-91 119-132

Football M1 v L’pool John Moore 1sts 0-5 M2 v Manchester 3rds 1-2 W2 v Manchester Met 4ths W/O Hockey M1 v Glasgow 1sts M2 v Sheffield 3rds M3 v Chester 1sts M4 v Durham 5ths W2 v Sheffield 3rds W3 v Chester 2nds W4 v Sheffield 5ths

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Lacrosse M1 v Manchester Met 1sts M2 v UCLAN 1sts W1 v Manchester 1sts

33-0 3-3 9-8

Netball 1 v Birmingham 1sts 2 v Liverpool 1sts 3 v Cumbria 4 v Liverpool 3rds

28-41 27-50 47-26 19-45

Rugby Union M1 v Loughborough 1sts M2 v Loughborough 3rds M3 v Northumbria 2nds M4 v Sheffield Hallam 2nds M5 v Teeside 1sts W1 v Durham 1sts

19-50 16-21 20-21 W/O 36-0 0-24

Rugby League 1 v Leeds Beckett 1sts 2 v Leeds Trinity 2nds

0-54 0-72

Squash M1 v Leeds 1sts M3 v Hull 2nds W1 v Durham 1sts

3-2 W/O 2-2

Table Tennis W2 v W3

15-6

Tennis W1 v Warwick 1sts

4-8

Volleyball M v Leeds Beckett 1sts W v Northumbria 1sts

3-0 0-3

Waterpolo M1 v Liverpool 1sts M2 v Leeds Beckett 1sts

15-12 12-23

The Courier

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Monday 2 November 2015

!"#$%&$"'(%))$*+',-*.+'/0+1' 23$*'42.5'&2'6$7$"&'&2/'+/2& Women’s Badminton Newcastle 1sts

5

Northumbria 1sts

3

By James Sproston at Sports Centre Newcastle’s Badminton girls made it 3 wins out of 3 for the season, the latest coming over bitter rivals Northumbria. The victory takes them to the top of Northern 1A. The last meeting between the two sides resulted in a 4-4 draw, keen to rectify this, coach Rich and his troupe of Northumbrian players brought a small army to support the squad in action. To counter this vocal crowd, the Newcastle players had to get off to flying start. The first match to get underway was Northumbria’s Aphrodite Christodoulou against Anna Bradshaw. Unfortunately for the Newcastle starlet, she struggled to make the shots she needed and was ultimately unable to recover, falling to a 21-10 defeat in the second set. Nevertheless Anubhi Khandelwal silenced the crowd in the other singles match, psyching out Ellie Charalambous on the middle court. Khandelwal got her game strategy perfect, exploiting her opponent’s lack of movement on the court better than when Djokovic exploited Nadal’s dodgy knees in the China Open a couple of weeks back. Whilst those two singles matches were rather one-sided, the first doubles match was a different story. Catherine Thomas and Eleanor Laws of Northumbria claimed the first set 21-17, then Claudia Heggie and Katie Allen replied by taking the next set by the same scoreline. The final set went down to the wire, but a late comeback overturned an 18-

14 Newcastle lead to a 21-19 Northumbria victory. In the following doubles match, Newcastle’s Beth Vickerman and Cara Vincenti pipped Amy Attewell and Peipei Leong by a small margin in both sets, 22-20 and 21-19. With this being the first time the two winners had played together this season, it was apparent that they were more compatible than tea and biscuits. Natural chemistry. After a small break, play was restarted as Anna Bradshaw took on Ellie Charalambous. It seemed both players were playing below their potential in a frustrating encounter. So much so that, after touching the net, Bradshaw smashed her racket down onto her leg. She broke both her racket and the skin on her shin, leaving the crowd in a state of bewilderment and shock. Nonethe-

“Vincenti and Vickerman remained headstrong and sealed the win”

less, she was in good enough condition to finish the match in two sets, comfortably beating her opponent. During that brief medical emergency, the two winners from the first round met on Court 1. Anubhi Khandelwal and Aphrodite Christodoulou both had momentum, leading to a fast and furious two sets. Khandelwal took the first, then Christodoulou took the second, both ending 21-19. However, Khandelwal’s intensity on court proved too much for Christodoulou, with the Northumbria player suffering from cramp. Coach Rich rushed over to the cluster of away fans to ask for a sugary drink, only to get a reply of “we’ve got some Fosters.” Cheers guys. Predictably the last set was rather one-sided ending

Vickerman and Vincenti battled hard to secure Newcastle’s victory

Image: James Sproston 21-11, but credit has to go to Christodoulou for battling on for so long. As it stood, Newcastle were in a 4-2 lead overall. Having guaranteed a draw, the four doubles teams stepped out onto their respective courts. On the middle court Claudia Heggie and Katie Allen raced into a set lead, with Attewell and Leong having no answer for their technical ability. Meanwhile on the AnnaBradshaw’s-Racket-Memorial-Court, Vickerman and Vincenti thundered to a 21-15 first set victory over Catherine Thomas and Eleanor Laws. Despite the apparently strong position this put Newcastle in, both doubles

teams narrowly lost out in their corresponding second sets. Buoyed on by a partisan, rowdy and slightly drunk Northumbrian crowd, the Poly had the momentum going into the deciding sets. This was evident in the match on the middle court as Northumbria took the advantage, clinching a 21-18 win. The score was 4-3 and Northumbria pressed to steal a draw. With a gathering Newcastle crowd and some vocal support, Vincenti and Vickerman remained headstrong and sealed the win with an agonisingly tight 21-19 final set. The overriding emotion at the end of the match was undoubtedly relief, but that

didn’t prevent a belting cheer from the Newcastle fans. Having led the tie, it was a testament to the character of the Newcastle players to deal with the pressure and deliver a well-deserved victory. With three wins out of three in the bag this season, Newcastle lead the BUCS Northern 1A Division by 6 points. Their next match is against UCLAN on November 4th, who were recently thumped by Sheffield 7-1. Going forward, there’s really no reason that this side shouldn’t top the league this year, securing a playoff place that’ll give the girls a shot at that elusive Premier Division.

!""#$%$&'($)"#%($%*"+,($-."%$-(/%-01 Men’s Squash Newcastle 1sts

3

Leeds 1sts

2

By Mark Sleightholm at Sports Centre Newcastle continued their unbeaten run in the BUCS Northern 1A League after seeing off a persistent Leeds quintet. In an afternoon full of twists and sudden shifts of momentum, Newcastle came through victorious, winning three out of their five matches and ensuring their position at the top of the leaderboard is safe for another week. Leeds were 45 minutes late, allowing Newcastle’s players more time to warm up at their home courts. This could only enhance their already-high levels of confidence: previously this season they have beaten Manchester Metropolitan 4-1 and Leeds Beckett 3-2. This week it was another team from Leeds coming to try their luck against the table leaders. Newcastle’s Matt Setterfield kicked things off against Ben Mann in a fastpaced first game. Despite winning the first points, Setterfield lost the game 11-9 after just five minutes. By the time

he came back on the court for the second game, however, he was a changed man, and won the next two games with increasing ease and style. Things slowed down in the fourth game, with both players obstructing each other and even colliding on several occasions. The score edged towards an eventual 15-13 victory for Mann, allowing him to level the match off and forcing an exhausted Setterfield to play a final, deciding game. Fortunately for Setterfield, it took just ten minutes to beat Mann 11-6 and win the match, giving Newcastle a strong start to the afternoon. On the next court Newcastle 1sts captain Jack Hunter took on Leeds’ Jack Murphy. This was a much more gruelling encounter, with the score staying pretty much level throughout the first game as neither player could gain an advantage over their opponent. 11-11 came and went as Hunter failed to convert three successive game points, followed by Murphy repeating this feat. Eventually Murphy hit two powerful shots from the back of the court to win the game 17-15. Fortunately for Newcastle, this feat wore the Leeds player out, and he lost the next three games 11-7, 11-6 and 118, giving Hunter a reward for his perse-

verance in the long first game. Murphy’s dramatic descent put Newcastle two matches ahead and further demoralised the visitors. Dave Daley was next to take to the court, playing Mark Hicks in probably the most entertaining match of the afternoon. The first game got off to a gentle start, with both players favouring slow, skilful shots. Leeds quickly edged

maintained their unbeaten run. Leeds, however, were not prepared to give up. The visitors’ captain Henry Worrall used fast, powerful shots to score two points against Sam Smith, but by the time he had scored his third Smith was on his eighth, and the Newcastle player took the first game 11-3. Worrall came back fighting, however, and after a much closer second game managed to

ahead, winning the first game 11-8 and the second 11-9. At this point Hicks, who on several occasions shouted out that he was a “pillock” after missing points, seemed to lose his concentration. In the space of just a few minutes he collapsed from being two games ahead to losing the third with a staggeringly one-sided score of 11-2. Daley capitalised on his dramatic victory in this game to win the next two 11-7 and 11-6, wrapping up the match as quickly as he could. With three games under their belt Newcastle had now won the fixture and

level the score, beating Smith 11-8. By this point his high-energy style of play was starting to take its toll on Smith, who lost the third game 12-10. Less than ten minutes later the Leeds captain was able to give his team their first victory of the afternoon by allowing Smith just two points in the final game. With the overall score now 3-1 to Newcastle, attention turned to the final match of the afternoon. Having watched the ups and downs of his teammates’ matches, Mikey Collins looked confident as he eased to a straightforward 11-9 victory in his first game against Matty Powell. Much to the delight of the

“Newcastle came through victorious, winning three out of their five matches and ensuring their position at the top of the leader board is safe for another week”

Leeds players, however, Collins’ game started to unravel at this point, and he was unable to make an impact on Powell’s powerful play, losing the game 11-0. This score shows the skill of Powell but does not do justice to the long rallies and fast shots both players were able to produce. Momentum on his side, Powell was able to finish off the match, winning the next two games 11-6 and 11-7, concluding the afternoon’s play. Despite a disappointing finish, all five Newcastle players won at least one of their games, and the 3-2 scoreline equals their performance at Leeds Beckett University the previous week. Hunter said afterwards: “It’s been a great day for Newcastle. We’re unbeaten this season, and looking forward to the next one.” Ryan Doran, club president, added: “They’re our closest opponents in the league this year, probably, so it really is a good start. I think we’ve set our stall out for the rest of the league now that we’ve actually beaten them, and hopefully go on to great things for the rest of the year.” Newcastle retain their spot at the top of the table, eight points ahead of second-placed Durham. Next week they will host Manchester University’s 2nds.

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www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 2 November 2015 Issue 1318 Free

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Newcastle continue to be a tough team to cross in BUCS this season Image: Stuart Ward

!"#$%&'(&)*!&(*(%&+)*,&-+'&* "."+#'(*)/(%0&''*1"$)2''&*0",'** Men’s Lacrosse Newcastle 1sts

33

Manchester Met 1sts

0

By Stuart Ward at Longbenton The term annihilation is thrown around a bit too much in sport. However, in this instance, it is the only way to describe the match which saw the Newcastle 1’s lacrosse team completely rip apart the Manchester Mets. Indeed, it was only seemingly their personal battle to each score a goal which hampered the already monumental score line from becoming truly amazing. Despite the torrential rain and generally appalling conditions, Newcastle were dominant from the very start. High tempo passing and great movement by players to find the vacant spaces quickly led to the first goal; a quick pass and move before Parnell rushed around the back and drove the ball into the net. Goal for Parnell; this would become a regular occurrence as the match developed. Manchester Mets simply hadn’t realised a game was going on around them

BRITISH WORLD CHAMPIONS P.40

and before they could take breath, the score had shot up to 3-0, with goals from Rapinett and Prescott. Quick passing and aggressive tackling nearly led to a fourth if it wasn’t for a superb save by the Met keeper. However, this was merely denying the inevitable as Newcastle soon notched their fourth and fifth goals in quick succession, both coming from Zehr. The rest of the quarter continued in much the same trend, with Newcastle capitalising on any mistake by the Met team with ruthless efficiency and timing. And it must be said, there were a lot of mistakes by Manchester. This led to a score of 10-0 at the close of the quarter, with Parnell taking his tally to 5 and Zehr to 3. In fact, the only contribution Manchester Met seemed to offer was a delay to the start of the game as there was no official referee present. This led to them declaring they would be playing under protest due to the circumstances. However, this may have simply been a time wasting tactic to delay the onslaught that was to come. The second quarter began with a flurry of goals from Parnell and Zehr which took the score to 13-0, goals that demonstrated Newcastle’s fluency in attack as well as impressive individual talent. While it was clear that the competitive

element of the match was over, Manchester did begin to find their feet in the match, with some good possession and a few shots wide of goal. This however allowed the Newcastle defence to display their proficiency in their role, with quick closing down of their opponents as well as excellent communication across the pitch to ensure that the Newcastle clean sheet remained intact. Manchester’s possession did lead to the highlight of the match. An outrageous piece of skill/ blind luck in which a Newcastle defender

goals coming from Abes, Zehr, Murray, Davey and Parnell. In the second half, Newcastle took a different approach. It was clear that the match had descended into essentially a training session, and I was reliably informed that they would be attempting a number of set pieces as opposed to simply running past the Met defence and adding to personal tallies. This controlled, measured approach still produced goals however, with contributions to the scoreline from Parnell and Ramsbottom.

“Despite the torrential rain and generally appalling conditions, Newcastle were dominant from the very start” knocked the stick out of an onrushing Met player, who managed to carry on running, catch the stick and still retain possession. This was greeted by shouts of approval from all onlookers and rightly so. Not wishing to be outdone, Newcastle responded with their best goal of the match. Quick distribution from the back and strong running led to an easy finish for Zehr. This goal perfectly encapsulated all areas of the Newcastle performance, underlining why they were such a dominant force in the match. The first half closed with the score at 21-0, with

TYNE WEAR DEBATE P.41

This tactic also afforded Manchester Mets their first shot on goal, yet it was a harmless effort and easily dealt with by the Newcastle keeper. The score line was unchanged for a good 5 minutes following the Manchester shot, perhaps testament to Manchester finally sorting out their defence and applying good pressure to the Newcastle attackers. Or it could have been down to boredom on the part of Newcastle, as scoring goals with such ease must get a little repetitive. The final quarter was a carbon copy of the previous quarter, with Newcastle

attempting elaborate plays and focusing on teamwork as opposed to merely adding to their lead. Goals were regular and methodical in their development, culminating in the final score line of 33-0. A stellar performance from Parnell, who rounded off his day with 15 goals, despite pleas from his teammates on the side line to start awarding his goals to them so that they could get a mention. Darragh O’Keafe being the main culprit, there’s your honorary mention. While the score line is clearly impressive, it must be noted that this was a team effort. While the defence may not have contributed to the goals (though in the closing minutes there were a number of impressive runs from the defence in the hopes of securing a personal achievement), their determination in tackles and closing down their men made the job much easier for the attackers who could simply collect the ball and score at will. And while I was assured that Manchester are not one of the strongest teams in the division, this match did underline the Newcastle team’s talent and potential to put more accomplished teams to the sword as well. With this win, they sit comfortably at the top of the league with an exceptional goal difference.

BUCS MATCH REPORTS P.43

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