www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 20 March 2017 Issue 1349 Free
TV Feature: Royal Television Society Programme Awards, p. 26
The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students
ACCESSIBILITY: BUZZWORD?
The commodification of the language of disability, p. 11
Est 1948
LETTERS FROM HYRULE Our gaming writers tell tales of Zelda: Breath of the Wild,p. 31 Image: Lucinda Lawrie Image:
Newcastle University’s Irish Dance Society perform at NUSU’s St.Patricks Day event, p. 3
NUCATS criticised over ‘damaging’ language By Valentina Egorova News Editor
The NUCATS society has faced severe criticism for using misogynistic, transphobic and racist language at the Gameathon charity event. The news came to light after the pictures of the screens featuring the game Fibbage were posted on Facebook and Twitter. The insulting nicknames used in the game by the participants included: “SAFFRONISMAN”, “PAT’SJAPSEYE” and “BIGDICKMCGEE”. Dozens of students complained on Twitter, after which the university launched an investigation into the incident. “We’re taking this complaint very seriously and are working closely with @NewcastleSU [Newcastle University Students’ Union] to investigate and take appropriate actions.” The 24-hour Gameathon 2017 took place on March 11 and 12, with around 120 participants coming to raise money for Willow Burn Hospice, the charity providing free palliative care for people
with life-limiting illnesses. The event featured dozens of consoles, giveaways, competitions and hundreds of games, including Fibbage – an interactive party game played on a smartphone or tablet. Each round of the game provides a statement on the screen with a missing word, while the players have to suggest the incorrect answers to fool others into picking it. The pictures depicted the answers suggested by the Gameathon’s participants, among which were the words “feminists” and “vaginas”. Following a string of complaints, the society issued a statement on Facebook apologising for “facilitating participants to personally attack and make inappropriate comments towards anyone”. Chris Napier, acting president of NUCATS, said: “We were appalled by the situation ourselves. We had no real control over someone writing that”. He added: “When we found out, we immediately took the game down and with the help of Harry, our president at the time, we tried to find out who it was,
but due to the timing and the number of people there we were unable to find who it was.” The society has resolved to ban the games for the future events that allow users to set the nicknames anonymously. But the incident has already sparked
“This isn’t just an individual case of bullying - this is hate speech affecting trans*, BAME and LGBTQIA* students” concerns about the social climate and all-inclusivity on campus. Saffron KershawMee, Marginalised Genders Officer, who fell victim to the NUCATS’ transphobic sentiments, said the situation had “shaken and upset” them. “I was personally attacked through an
onscreen name during one of the games and I have also heard that throughout the night several members verbally berated me. “Just because it was my name mentioned during the incidents, the members’ actions are certainly not only affecting me. This isn’t just an individual case of bullying - this is hate speech affecting trans*, BAME and LGBTQIA* students. “At a professional level through my position as Marginalised Genders Officer, I am relieved that both the Union and the University are acting upon the zero-tolerance policy against discrimination in place at NUSU.” They added: “To those who thought using these slurs would be funny: it’s not. It’s hurtful. It’s disgraceful. It’s damaging.” Following the Gameathon’s incident, the NUCAT’s committee has been receiving scores of emails and messages of a threatening nature. “The committee has taken quite a backlash. Harry [a former president] received multiple messages and emails, and because of this he had to step
down”, said Napier. Errol Kerr, Students with Disabilities Officer, said: “Whilst I’m glad that an investigation is underway, it’s unfortunate that it’s taken so long to recognise. “There have been clear abusive comments being made towards Saffron, the racist and sexist language used and reports of threats being made towards the NUCATS committee. “This shouldn’t have happened in the first place - changing attitudes and culture should have occurred before now.” Napier added: “We could not be more apologetic about what happened. It’s a shame that in five minutes out of the 4-hour event this happened, as we did raise quite a lot money for the charity. And we haven’t been able to advertise it yet.” During the Gameathon 2017, NUCATS raised £2,076. The furore about NUCATS’ “disgraceful” language came a year after they won the Society of the Year award.
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NEWS
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Sexual violence on campus: UK & US perspectives
Monday 20 March 2017
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Deputy Editors Ollie Burton & Daniel Robertson News Editors Liam Carson, Valentina Egorova, Louise Hall Kotryna Kairytė & Helena Vesty
Inspiring Women conference
Rising stars of STEM visit Parliament
COMMENT
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Spring budget: Flowery rhetoric?
CULTURE
12 13 17 23 28 30
League of Library Lunches
Blind date: When Hugh met Antonia
Spotted on campus: Spring Edition Getting Sketchy for Comic Relief Cure for the common cold? Review: Nier Automata
Speakers at the conference Image: Rebecca D’andrea
By Siobhan Fuller On the 11th of March, Newcastle University hosted the annual conference “Inspiring Women”, as part of International Women’s Day’s celebrations. Each year the event is devoted to a single theme or idea, and this year the concept was ‘Be Bold For Change’. With a specific focus on the role of change¬-makers, it was a celebration of women’s achievements in all parts of society - social, political or economic. Professor Kathryn Hollingsworth, Newcastle University’s law lecturer and the Chair of NU Women, opened the conference with a talk on how women face sexual harassment within the university environment, from both seniors and students. Hollingsworth highlighted how female students and lecturers are often overlooked for their academic achievements as a result of their gender that eventually puts them in vulnerable situations.
NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940
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Tina Simbo, an activist for the Angelou Centre, discussed race relations and gender. The work at the Angelou Centre supports BME (black and ethnic minority) women as well as educating pupils in North East schools about racial identities. The event was also focused on how women in history had overcome both race and gender stereotypes in some of the greatest revolutions of time, such as the overthrowing of slavery in Haiti. Alison Boydell, co-founder of JURIES campaign, featured and spoke out about Jill Saward, whose publically analysed story as a burglary and rape victim led her to her fantastic work in gaining legal rights for other women, who have suffered similarly. This was through campaigns and the charity J.U.R.I.E.S., which is still fighting for action after her recent passing. In an open discussion between Bridget Hamilton, founder of Verbal Remedy, and Dr David Jones the floor was opened up to the audience with the question ‘Can Men Be Feminists?’ It began with an exploration of what
is the role of men in supporting gender equality but broadened to issues surrounding politics, ethnic and cultural backgrounds, and what it truly means to be a feminist. Workshops ran throughout the day, covering everything from the gender pay gap with the Young Women’s Trust, which is currently at 18%, to how to gain confidence in public speaking and leadership. Saffron KershawMee, Marginalised Genders Officer, said: “Events like Inspiring Women are completely necessary to kindle a passion for change, to challenge societal norms, and hear stories from women who have been campaigning and fighting for decades on gender inequality whilst bringing to light the intersections between being a woman and being of colour.” Saffron earlier promoted the creative side of gender equality activism through “Zines for Change”. “I ran a similar workshop during my Beyond the Binary NUSU campaign in late January, and thought it would be perfect to encourage people to create zines on the concept
Editor Jade Holroyd Deputy Editors Ollie Burton and Daniel Robertson News Editors Liam Carson Valentina Egorova, Louise Hall, Kotryna Kairytė and Helena Vesty Comment Editors Jamie Cameron, Sinéad Corkett-Beirne and Sunil Nambiar Culture Editors Jack Oliver Parker and James McCoull Lifestyle Editors Ana Beretsos, Antonia Coleman-Harvey, Ruth Loeffler and Brooklyn Shakeshaft Ward Fashion Editors Liz Rosling, Izzi Watkins and Zofia Zwieglinska Beauty Editors Miranda Stoner, Ellie Trent and Ellen Walker Arts Editors Johnathan Hastings, Meg Holtom and Tamsin Rees Music Editors Sophie Ahmed, Serena Bhardwaj and Ben Grundy Film Editors Emma Allsopp, Zoë Godden and Simon Ramshaw TV Editors Luke Acton, Dominic Corrigan and Alison Scurfield Gaming Editors Errol Kerr, Jared Moore and Jordan Oloman Science Editors Matthew Byrne, Natalie Farmer and Ciara RitsonCourtney Sports Editors Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin and James Sproston
of change and inspiration. The NUSU Inspiring Women’s conference was a breath of fresh air, and the atmosphere of community and togetherness made for a great day for all who attended.” Mental health’s role in activism was also featured by Lucy Morgan, former president of Newcastle University’s Feminist Society. She said: “It was such an honour to talk at NUSU’s annual Inspiring Women Conference about student politics and mental health. Women and nonbinary activists who are unapologetic about their political views experience immense scrutiny in comparison to cisgender male activists. “This scrutiny had a really detrimental impact on my mental health while I was a student at Newcastle so it was really important for me to come back and share my experiences with it. The Inspiring Women’s Conference is something that NUSU should be really proud of as it gives women such as myself the confidence and the voice to talk about these issues in a supportive, inclusive environment.”
The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge. The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.
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Monday 20 March 2017
St Patrick’s Day celebrations hit campus By Toby Byrant Despite its Irish origins, St. Patrick’s Day has become a popular celebration across the world and Newcastle Student Union delivered on the festivities this year. Live Irish bands, free Guinness hats, food and inflatables adorned the University last Friday. The Student Union opened at midday and the first 200 students through the door got their hands on free pints, which were of course Guinness. Once these were served the Union offered a free Guinness hat for every four pints bought to help create the authentic atmosphere. All throughout the town centre students could be seen, adorned with these hats, painting the town green. NUSU also worked with Newcastle’s very own Stu Brew Society to create a very special green beer. The Stu Brew team said: “Our St Patrick’s day beer is based on our Lab Session beer, which is dyed with a blue pigment derived from algae by Scottish Bioenergy. Men’s Bar had approached Stu Brew and we felt that there was no better solution that using the blue dye to turn our beer green!” The drink was a huge success,
with many students giving it a try, and the startling green colour really added to festivities. Throughout the day there was also live music in, newly named, Luther’s with a DJ and food stall on the terrace. In the venue face painting was available along with inflatable games, such as gladiator. Another Society that played a crucial role in the day’s festivities was the Newcastle Un i v e r s it y Irish Dance Society. They put on eight performances at five different v e n u e s across the weekend and performed “ m o r e m o d e r n Irish dance interpretations”, in the words of President Liam Carson. The Society also took over the University’s Snapchat account and created their own Snapchat geo-filter for the day to further publicise the event. On St. Patrick’s Day Liam commented: “We have had a really busy, frantic and mental day but we absolutely loved every minute of it. “We performed from 1pm right up until 9pm at venues around Newcastle. We had technical difficulties at times but the girls were absolutely superb all day. They danced non-stop simply
because they love it so much. We are very grateful that the university allowed us to put on and assist with the event. “Paddy’s Day is always the busiest day of the year for us dancers but it is the best day of the year. It brings out the best in everyone and makes the world wish they could be Irish. A sentiment
that is much needed in the world at this moment. Togetherness, unity and connection.” The night closed with more Irish clichés being fulfilled as Boyzone and Westlife tribute act BOYZlife took to the Venue to showcase some Irish swagger with classics such as ‘Flying Without
Wings’ and ‘Uptown Girl’. However, for many students, the night had just begun as one of the busiest nights out on the Toon following the action-packed day on campus.
highlighted a lack of competitive advancement in the north of England, a striking example being the absence of a higher rate of growth than southern regions since the establishment of the Council of the North in 1472. The Shadow Minister for Industrial Strategy suggested several reasons for the economic difficulties faced by the North, notably emphasising the “devastation” of communities during the 1979-1987 period of deregulation and state cuts. Onwurah did, however, also include the 2008 financial crisis. The ‘Uber-isation’ of certain sectors which followed the crash, whereby desperate workers become more vulnerable to
exploitation and decreased security whilst being self-employed, has now also become a contributing obstacle to the achievement of a high wage, high security and high productivity economy. In order to work against this pattern, which she determined a “race to the bottom”, Onwurah advocated an economic system which promotes “lifelong learning” and continuous improvement in training. In an interview following the lecture, Onwurah added that this could tie in closely with the role of Newcastle University as a “civic” institution in the city. As a number of departments
could use their extensive resources in order to help build and connect communities. She went on to emphasise that such a partnership could be of particular importance to the area in the years ahead, with the vote to leave the European Union being a divisive and potentially damaging decision for the region. Whilst accounting for the contrast between the many constituencies in the North East which voted to leave, and Newcastle Cental which chose to stay, the former engineer s u g g e s t e d that “specific technology” could provide a “tool for engagement” and discussion across various social groups. Onwurah conveyed that this could be crucial when attmepting to provide a soution to the issues which caused people to vote for the leave campaign. Pointing out that some of the most prominent Brexit leaders, naming Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson, were not representative of the experiences of many people in the North, Onwurah said these voters should not be blamed for the negative effects of Brexit. A message which the MP pointed out has often been repeated by the media in the wake of the controversial referendum. Rather, their feelings of being “left behind by globalisation” and its consequences, should be recognised and attempted to be rectified. When asked about the challenges
which the Labour Party faced, Onwurah reurned to the issue of the disillusionment of the working class groups. Whilst commenting that politicians must not pretend that UK society has moved beyond being classbased, she stated that the government should work to reverse the disadvantages which have been seen to take hold in previous years, such as the one third of North East residents aged 16 and above, who do not have qualifications beyond secondary school. Drawing attention once more to the “North East gap” being “par ticularly acute”, in comparison to other regions of the country. Perhaps most i n t e r e s t i n g l y, Onwurah went on to confront the more negative aspects of Labour’s recent performance, having been publically critical of Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership over the past 18 months. The MP plainly stated in the interview that her party could be doing more to be an effective opposition, citing troubles with the new Conservative budget and her sustained view that Britain should remain part of the European single market. Onwurah also extended her analysis to the rest of Parliament, addressing the different pressures for women in a workplace with a considerable gender imbalance. Yet, the speaker remained hopeful for the future, expressing that real change could be brought about with continued open discussion and debate.
“The Students’ Union opened at midday and the first 200 students through the door got their hands on free pints, which were of course Guinness”
St. Paddy’s Day banner NUSU Image: Louise Hall
Chi Onwurah on Newcastle after Brexit By Helena Vesty News Editor
The Right Honourable Chi Onwurah, MP, became the newest guest speaker for Newcastle University’s RW Mann Insights Public Lecture series. Leading a lecture on the importance of productivity, investment and a progressive industrial strategy in postBrexit Britain, Onwurah began by putting the focus on some of the North East’s most successful innovators and business leaders. Drawing attention to past engineers who developed the North East, the representative for the Newcastle Central constituency
Discussions about Newcastle’s future Image: Chi Onwurah
“Feelings of being ‘left behind by globalisation’ and its consequences, should be recongnised and attempted to be rectified”
4. news
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
Charity cake night in the name of Comic relief By Grace Dean The Baking and Film societies held a joint charity event to fundraise for Comic Relief. The event, which was held in the Fine Art Lecture Theatre on Thursday 16th March, involved members of both societies gathering in the evening to watch the 2009 comedy The Boat That Rocked. In a similar format to their previous charity fundraiser for Children in Need in November, Film Society provided the film showing and members of the Baking Society baked a range of sweet treats including Pão de Queijo (Brazilian cheese bread), cupcakes and homemade popcorn. The film screening was free for members of both societies as well as the wider student body, but attendees were encouraged to donate in the collection bucket for charity and the refreshments were sold. The choice of film was decided by a poll organised by the two societies for their members to vote for, and The Boat That Rocked won by a landslide victory. The film centres around life on-board an offshore pirate radio station in 1966, and features an all-star cast including
Bill Nighy, Nick Frost, and Kenneth Branagh. Comic Relief is a national charity which aims to tackle global poverty, and Red Nose is being held on Friday 24th March. Red Noses are available now in Sainsbury’s and Oxfam stores, and a further range of merchandise is available from TK Maxx. Visit the Comic Relief website to find out more information about how to donate, when the show is being broadcast, and what fundraising activities are happening near you. Commenting on the event, Alexandra Logan, Charity Officer of Baking Society, said, “On Thursday 16th, Baking Society and Film Society enjoyed a scrummy movie combination in aid of Comic Relief. The guests at this open event enjoyed the various delicious confections on offer ranging from a rich cherry loaf to decedent lemon cupcakes whilst watching the comedy ‘The Boat that Rocked’ which went down a treat. This is the second movie and cake charity event of the year and we are so glad it’s been a success. Comic relief is next Friday, so please donate if you can.”
“Newcastle Universty’s Film Society provided the film showing and members of the Baking Society baked a range of sweet treats including Pão de Queijo, cupcakes and homemade popcorn”
Comic relief cupcake Image: Flickr, Rogerio da Silva
Cross River Gorilla Project By Leana Tajkov On Saturday, March 11th the charity held the Komunity Event, where students and local community had the opportunity to learn more about the cause and how to get involved with the charity. 12 students from Newcastle University’s Media and Biology Departments are working with Cross River Gorilla Project, a nonprofit UK based charity, for a while in order to support the conservation efforts of these rare animals. While enjoying African energetic music, guests had the opportunity to try on and buy various colourful Africanthemed props like jewelry and gorilla masks. The organization is also currently raising money to build research centers in the Lebialem Highlands.
Help save endangered gorillas Image: Leana Tajkov
Organizers said: “What is really important about this project, is the idea of involvement with local community and nature, without interfering with the natural flow and habits of animals.” This event was just the beginning of series for students that will be organizing in the following months. All the events are designed to raise funds in order to build research centers in the rainforest and to help save the gorillas, but also create more jobs for the area, educate and empower women in South West Cameroon. There are 300 cross-river gorillas currently critically endangered across the world, and researchers predict that soon they will be extinct if nothing will be done. To dote to Cross River Gorilla Project or to find out more about their events, please visit https://www.crossrivergorillaproject.co.uk/
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Monday 20 March 2017
Sexual Violence on Campus: UK and US perspectives By Ava Forbes NU Women welcomed Dr Elizabeth Sharp and Dr Alison Phipps to host a guest lecture, ‘Campus Sexual Violence: Perspectives from the UK and the US’ on Tuesday. The event was a conclusion to a day of seminars and lectures surrounding sexual violence at universities. Dr Sharp, a professor in human development and family studies at Texas Tech University, headed the lecture discussing attitudes to sexual violence on campus within the US. Texas Tech University came under fire in 2014 when a ‘No Means Yes’ banner was displayed at a fraternity party. The Phi Delta Theta fraternity was stripped of its charter when images of the banner came to light. “One of the most pervasive myths in the US is that women falsely report rape. If we look at the research we can confidently put that erroneous anxiety to rest. These white, middle class, heterosexual men and more likely to be struck by lightning than wrongly accused of rape. “Research shows that false reports of rape are the same as any other crime, which is small. Research also shows that of the women who have given a false report, the vast majority of them do not name an assailant. With the incredibly low reporting
rates, for example only 20% of rapes are reported to campus authorities in the States there is much more concern that men are getting away with raping women than men being wrongly accused. Dr Alison Phipps, who is a professor of gender studies at Sussex University, discussed how sexual violence on campus was viewed in the UK. She said, “Universities in the US, and increasingly in the UK, are finding themselves under siege. The far right is targeting academics and their social justice work, bolstered by a mainstream suspicion of ‘experts’ and ‘elites’, and a general rightward shift in politics and public opinion. Phipps cited the NUS report, ‘Hidden Marks’ from 2010 which found that “1 in 7 women students had experienced a serious physical or sexual assault during their studies, and 68 percent had been sexually harassed. My eleven years of work on this topic has taken me into very different institutions, but what has struck me is their similarities in terms of how harassment and violence are ‘reckoned up’. In most cases, concerns with institutional value take precedence over care for survivors.” With a white supremacist, alleged serial sexual harasser and abuser in the White House, a hardline English government, and a ‘new normal’ that involves overt and unrepentant sexism, racism and other forms of discrimination, we’re in for a tough few years.”
“1 in 7 women students have experienced a serious physical or sexual assault during their studies and 68 percent had been sexually harassed”
Campus sexual violence: Perspectives from the UK and US lecture Image: Ava Forbes
The Inspirational BAME Women of the Law By Laura Higgins
Women in law Image: RichardWesner@ Flickr
Newcastle University’s Law School is hosting The Inspirational BAME Women of the Law event on Wednesday 22nd March, which aims to inspire students of any gender or ethnicity to adopt career in law. The university will welcome a line-up of seven inspirational female speakers, all of whom have already made a significant contribution to society through their work in the law sector. One of the key speakers will be Marcia Willis Stewart, who played a fundamental role in seeking justice for the families of victims in the Hillsborough disaster. Chrisann Jarett, a final year law student at London School of Economics, who set up the ‘Let Us Learn’ campaign in order to promote higher education to more adolescents in the UK, will also add some smart insights to a highly informative event. This event is expected to be met by a wave of success - students will have the chance to listen to the unique speeches of seven minority ethnic women between 1.00p.m. and 6.30 p.m., and see what a huge impact working in the law sector can have upon social justice. Professor Kathryn Hollingsworth, coDirector of the event and Professor of Law at Newcastle University, shared her hopes for the event with The Courier: “By hearing about the ground-breaking achievements of these amazing women, we hope this event will encourage young women and men to study law, to practice law and become the next gen-
eration of lawyers, law-makers, judges and academics.” One of the key speaker at this event is an also Newcastle University’s alumni student, Funke Abimbola, who has made inspirational changes within the law sector since graduating twenty years ago. By utilizing her authority as the most senior black lawyer in her academic field, she has successfully campaigned against discrimination within the workplace and wider society by highlighting socioeconomic, gender and racial obstacles which hinder success for likeminded individuals. She says: “Everyone should be given the opportunity to maximize their potential irrespective of background. We need to empower others if we find ourselves in a position of privilege, embracing and celebrating our differences to work towards building a better society.” The Inspirational BAME Women of the Law event is organized and managed by Freedom 2017- a universal programme which aims to highlight and celebrate the 50th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. receiving an nominal degree from Newcastle University. It also collaborates with the newly emerged Black Law Students Association (BLSA) which aims to assist minority ethnic students as they begin their Law degree. As the first establishment of this kind, members hope that diversity initiatives, such as the Inspirational BAME Women of the Law event, will inspire racial progression within the legal profession.
6.news
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
High praise for Newcastle University in QS World Rankings By Isabel Sykes The latest QS World University Rankings by subject has placed Newcastle University amongst the world’s top universities in a range of subject areas. The ranking is based on the academic and employer reputation and the research impact. Twenty-seven subjects across Newcastle’s three faculties appear in the list. Newcastle is ranked in the top 100 universities for five subjects and in the top 200 for further 13. Dentistry and Geography are ranked as the best performing subjects, placed at 32nd and 50th places in the world respectively. Hugh Vermont, a geography undergraduate student, said: “I really value the flexibility and the variety of the modules offered on my course as it allows me to study a broad range of academic material from different disciplines. “My favourite module has been the Berlin Fieldtrip module for very obvious reasons! I got to spend a week in one of Europe’s most interesting cities, I made a load of new friends and the basis of the trip was one of the areas I am most fascinated.” Anna Davies, a dentistry student, said: “The teaching quality is excellent within the Dental School – you have leading world experts giving you lectures on their specialist subjects. There
are also a lot of dentists that come in to supervise clinics this allows you to get advice and teaching from several different sources.” She added: “Every student has a personal tutor for their five years within the dental school. You can go to your personal tutor for advice and help throughout your time at the dental school” QS World University Rankings by subject has been published since 2011. This year they evaluated 4438 universities and 1117 of these were ranked. This involves evaluating universities across 50 criteria and awarding them between one and five stars. Last year Newcastle University was one of only 17 universities in the world, and only 2 in the UK, to achieve 5 plus QS stars. Professor Richard Davies, Pro-ViceChancellor, Engagement and Internationalisation, Newcastle University, comments on Newcastle’s success: “The latest QS World University Rankings by Subject results reflect the worldclass teaching and research, across all of our three faculties. The ranking is a testament to the brilliant work done by everyone at the University and the outstanding support we offer to our students during their time at Newcastle.” “The positive results highlight our commitment to delivering the best possible teaching, learning and research for our students through continuous investment in improving facilities on campus and teaching standards.”
“The ranking is a testament to the brilliant work done by everyone at the University”
Newcastle University Image: Wikimedia Commons
The Courier
news .7
Monday 20 March 2017
Newcastle University’s rising stars visit parliament By Hannah Vernon Six of Newcastle Universities most talented individuals from the fields of Science and Engineering have been chosen to present their research in Parliament. The competition, STEM for Britain, aims to support and promote Britain’s young research scientists, engineers, technologists and mathematicians by bringing their work to the center of political and legal action. The successful applicants will arrive at the House of Commons on Monday, 13th March 2017. Through an interdisciplinary competition, STEM for Britain creates an environment in which participants can contribute to the ever-expanding field of UK Research. Having applied during the last months 2016, PhD students Shuen Lann Yvonne Choo, Maria Pregnolato, Alex Svalova, Laura Wadkin, Sara Cuevas Ocaña and Gemma Roberts have been chosen from hundreds of applicants to participate in the competition. The fact five women are representing the university in the fields of Science and Engineering, which has in the past been considered a ‘male-dominated’ discipline, has been highlighted by many as great success. Professor Chris Phillips, Director of Diversity at Newcastle University, stated, ““It is important that this talent is nurtured and every opportunity is given to women to develop their careers within academia or elsewhere”. The competition has been divided
into five main subject areas: Biological and Biomedical Science; Chemistry; Physics; Engineering and Mathematics. Coming from various disciplines, the research presented by Newcastle’s six participants covers a diversity of topics, from future energy solutions to drugs to treat cystic fibrosis. However, all topics are united in their focus on Health and Environmental issues, revealing the young researchers mutual goal of creating a better world. By presenting their findings to politicians and the UK’s representatives, their research takes its first steps towards paving the way to a brighter future. During the day, there are 3 poster exhibitions and judging sessions, each ending with a reception where prizes are awarded. Three winners are chosen from each of the five main subject areas; the gold medallist receives £3,000, while silver and bronze receive £2,000 and £1,000 respectively. The overall winner also receives a Westminster Medal in memory of Dr. Eric Wharton- the inspirational organizer of the competitions predecessor, SET for Britain, which was founded in 1997. The Parliamentary and Scientific Committee is running the event, whose chairman MP Stephen Metcalfe stated that the annual competition was an important date in the Parliamentary calendar. It is hoped that the competition will not only encourage and promote young researchers, but also give their research a platform from which it can influence and have impact on the global issue it confronts.
“it is important that every opportunity is given to women to develop their careers within academia”
The houses of parliament in London Image: Flickr: Sundar M
Careers Insights Programme takes London by storm By Laura Elizabeth Buckle Last week, Newcastle University Careers Service spent two days in London with students on the Careers Insights Programme. The scheme, which holds 32 places, came to an end on Friday after 5 months of insightful experience with major employers such as Nissan, Mastercard and the Civil Service. The annual Careers Insights Programme is nationally unique and grants students exclusive opportunities to engage and network with local, national and global businesses. Alongside visits and events, participants receive a £250 bursary, with their efforts also equating to the 50 hours required for the NCL+ Award. Although the programme is available to all students from any degree, those with specific eligibilities are prioritised. Conditions include entering Newcastle University through the PARTNERS route, originating from a low-income area, being the first member of your immediate family to go to university, have studied a vocational course, be a disabled student, have spent at least three months in local authority care in the past ten years and being in receipt of a full maintenance grant, among a number of other circumstances which are taken into consideration. Brenda Stephenson, 2016-17 Insights Organiser and Careers Adviser at Newcastle University’s Careers Service in King’s Gate, said: ‘I joined the Careers Service in September 2016 and undoubtedly one of the main attractions was to run the Career Insights Programme.’
‘As someone who was first in her family to go to university, I would love to have been involved in this innovative programme which supports students from diverse backgrounds to make choices, meet with a range of employers and develop a portfolio of skills which stand them in good stead for the graduate job market.’ ‘I have most enjoyed getting to know the 32 exceptional students we recruited and supporting them on their journey to success.’ Being accepted onto the programme also entitles students to a bursary of up to £1000 to cover the costs of accommodation and travel in regards to work experience, internships and work shadowing. The all-expenses paid programme included a visit to the BIC Sunderland, Nissan’s Sunderland plant and a two-day stay in London. The North-Eastern business community which offers work space to growing businesses, BIC Sunderland, opened it’s doors to the students to provide an insight into how small to medium sized businesses function; including ‘Cedrec’, a legislation company, and ‘Narrative’, a communications agency. Laura-Jayne Beattie, Stage One Law, said: ‘I had never thought about working for a small business in the future but the visit really gave me a different perspective. I emailed the director of ‘Cedrec’ after the event and asked about some work experience. I sent him over an essay and visited their branch for a meeting and now I have secured myself a work placement for September.’ Rebecca Armstrong, Stage Two Marketing and Management, said ‘I really
liked the BIC visit because I didn’t realise how many businesses there are in the North East and it gave me an inside look into multiple companies.’ The excursion to London granted students an opportunity to participate in a mock-assessment centre provided by the Civil Service in Westminster and technology company, Accenture.
Participants were also invited to London’s Canary Wharf to network and engage with one of the top law firms in the country, Clifford Chance, and renowned technology company, Mastercard. Benjamin Lawson, Stage Two Geography, said: ‘I would definitely encourage students to do it as it’s a great way to
meet businesses locally and nationally and I can use the programme to achieve the NCL+ Award.’ The Careers Insights Programme begins recruitment in October of each academic year, all information regarding the programme can be found in King’s Gate and on the Careers Service website.
Participants in London Image: Laura Elizabeth Buckle
news .9
NEWSTACK York
£11m Space Centre Durham University has opened a new £11.5m “space centre” earlier last week. The Ogden Centre for Fundamental Physics is to house around 140 international scientists, who will be researching how the universe began. The building is to include a range of laboratories and a 100-seat seminar theatre. The building was designed by Studio Libeskind to comply with the historic surroundings of the city. Professor Carlos Frenk, director of the Institute for Computational Cosmology, at Durham University, said: “The new Ogden Centre for Fundamental
Physics represents a wonderful contribution to the unique architectural heritage of Durham City. “Its design fits the requirements of a top-class research centre, dedicated to seeking answers to some of the most fundamental questions about our Universe such as: How and when did our Universe begin? What is it made of? How did galaxies and other structures form? “The new building conveys a sense of adventure that reflects the novelty and excitement of the research that goes on within it. It is an amazing place in which to work.”
Oxford
Marijuana programme
Oxford University is to set up a £10m research programme into the effects of medical marijuana in a bit to discover treatments for pain, cancer and inflammatory disease. Eight scientists will be investigating possible medical applications of marijuana in their labs. The project has been backed by Patrick Stewart, English actor, who earlier used cannabis to treat ortho-arthritis. Stewart told the Telegraph: “Two years ago, in Los Angeles I was examined by
a doctor and given a note which gave me legal permission to purchase, from a registered outlet, cannabis-based products, which I was advised might help the ortho-arthritis in both my hands.” The previous studies have demonstrated that marijuana can alleviate such conditions as MS, epilepsy, arthritis and nerve pain. The programme is a partnership between the university and Kingsley Capital Partners, a private equity business based in London.
Cambridge
A five-figured boost for culture of zero tolerance Cambridge University has received a five-figure Government grant that will be spent on creating a “culture of zerotolerance” around sexual harassments on campus. The grant will enable the university to introduce a new anonymous reporting system as well as centralised policies to support victims. The scheme will ease the process of reporting incidents of abuse on campus. A number of Cambridge colleges have already introduced compulsory “consent classes”, while the university’s stu-
dents’ union has been running sexual consent campaign. Pro-vice-chancellor for education professor Graham Virgo, said: “Providing students with a safe environment has always been a priority at the University of Cambridge. “In order to allow our students to thrive, and take full advantage of the world class education Cambridge offers, our community must remain one where all students and staff are safe and protected from any form of violence, sexual harassment or hate.”
Bangor
New health laboratories Bangor University has invested £1m in new laboratories for health, exercise and rehabilitation that were opened last Tuesday. Physical Activity for Health and Well-Being Centre, which is based at the School of Sport Health and Exercise Sciences, includes a teaching lab and two exercise physiology labs that study functioning of the human body. The centre’s research revolves around four main areas: metabolic
health and appetite, musculoskeletal health, vascular health and blood pressure and exercise. Dr Peter Higson, chairman of Betsi Cadwaladr University Health Board, said that the new labs will “enable this collaboration to better address specific health and wellbeing challenges facing both the Welsh and global population”. The new labs will also help to address the health benefits from exercise and physical activity.
By Valentina Egorova News Editors
10.
Comment
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
Comment Editors Jamie Cameron, Sinéad CorkettBeirne & Sunil Nambiar courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment
Spring Budget: More than flowery rhetoric? Chancellor Philip Hammond delivered his Spring budget last week. Does it stand up to its recent heavy criticism?
YES
Chris Murray
L
ast week’s budget has received a lashing from the mainstream media after Chancellor Philip Hammond announced a rise in national insurance contributions for the self-employed; an area which the Tories had categorically pledged to freeze in their 2015 manifesto. However, this is just one measure out of 28, and a relatively unimportant one at that. The media attention on this issue has detracted from many other policies which make this a great Budget which will improve vital public services such as social care and education.
“It is no coincidence that the issues we are most vocal about are the ones that are being aided by this Budget’’ Hammond addressed two of the most strained areas of our healthcare system, in a much needed boost for the NHS. New money is being made available to place additional GPs in accident and emergency departments for next winter which is likely to prevent the crises we’ve seen in hospitals in recent years. Even more significantly, an extra £2bn is being made available for social care over the next three years. This will surely go some way to rectifying the problems that plague a key public service which many vulnerable citizens rely on. In terms of education, the Chancellor declared that there would be large a large sum of extra money available for both new and existing schools as well as £300m to support PhD
students in science subjects. These measures, coupled with the extra support promised to technical students, ensures that Britain’s education system has the resources available to improve its standard of schooling further. In any Budget, economic forecasts are going to be highly anticipated. We were the secondfastest growing economy in the G7 last year, and our growth forecast has been upgraded for 2017 from 1.4% to 2%. Additionally, borrowing is much lower than was forecast and is expected to decrease further.
“Hammond addressed two of the most strained areas of our healthcare system’’ Finally, employment is on the rise and 650,000 more people are expected to be in work by 2021. All of this information is important, but what does it actually mean in terms of the ramifications for everyday people? Most importantly, it means that the Government are listening to us. It is no coincidence that the issues we are most vocal about are the ones that are being aided by this Budget, such as social care and education. Moreover, the new Government have responded to public concern over the hardline approach to austerity taken since 2010 by easing off considerably, and increasing spending in a measured but confident manner. The undeniably positive economic forecasts presented last week demonstrate that we made the right choice in 2015 in electing to trust the Government with our nation’s finances. So, whilst the news on national insurance did break a central manifesto pledge, its portrayal in the media has somewhat overshadowed a strong and positive Budget, which has outlined plans for protecting vital parts of our healthcare and education systems whilst being able to provide the public with evidence that the
NO
Benjamin Eckford
A
fter a dull Autumn Statement last November, in which it seemed that Philip Hammond was an unremarkable, safe pair hands as Chancellor, one could reasonably expect another unexceptional, run-of-the-mill Tory austerity budget. For better or worse, this was not the case. Remember the Omnishambles budget in 2012? Hammond’s effort last Wednesday lays a substantial claim to the shambolic crown. As we should expect from an uncaring Tory government, Hammond has utterly failed with this, the final Spring Budget, to address either the short-term crises our public services are facing or the long-term, structural, underlying problems that have plagued our economy since 1979. Worse still, the biggest economic challenge our country has ever faced, Brexit, was not mentioned once. Even right-wing publications, such as The Spectator, have labelled this budget a disaster. But that does not cover the level of catastrophe that has unfolded since. In an act of economic stupidity, ‘Spreadsheet Phil’ raised National Insurance contributions by 2p in the pound for all registered selfemployed people earning £16,250 a year or over. These are the owners of small and medium enterprises, the entrepreneurs and innovators who fuel our economy. Most of the entire workforce are employed by small and medium enterprises. The ethos of self-employment is the absolute backbone of our economy. And, for some reason, known only to him, our inept Chancellor has targeted them and decided to punish them for their success. He complained
in his speech that productivity was still too low, yet here he was presenting a move that would further hinder growth. He compounded this gaffe by actually lowering corporation tax for the billionaire-owned multi-nationals. This was basic economics, and our chief economic minister was getting it the wrong way round. This landed the government in a substantial political black-hole. This was absurd. We had a government committing economic suicide.
‘‘Lowering corporation tax for the billionaire-owned multi-nationals” Not only that, they were doing so by punishing the hardworking ‘just about managings’ that Mrs. May claims to care so much about whilst rewarding the billionaires. And worst of all, unacceptable to the right wing press, they were breaking a solemn pledge from the 2015 Tory manifesto, stated four times in that document, that a Conservative government would not raise taxes, including National Insurance contributions. Breaking this promise was an unmissable and unforgivable gaffe. Cue screeching howls of outrage from the press, and a barrage of opposition from the Labour frontbench. Thanks to that pressure applied by Labour’s shadow Treasury team, the Tories have been forced into a humiliating U-turn. This is an utter embarrassment for the government. There’s no way they can spin their way out of this one. It reminds of George Osborne’s final budget, when he said all schools would become academies, only for it to be quickly withdrawn after then-Education Secretary Nicky Morgan said it was ‘only a proposal’. I It seems that under the Tories budgets have become a platform to pitch half-baked ideas, rather than being firm statements of longterm plans. Britain deserves better than this incompetent Tory government.
Grammar schools fail children born without privilege Sarah Davis addresses the failure of grammar schools and how they present a void of opportunity for poorer children
S
tood on the step of Number 10 Downing Street on a warm sunny morning in July, Theresa May gave her first speech as Prime Minister. She proclaimed her government would not be led “by the interests of the mighty, wealthy or privileged few” but would “fight Britain’s burning injustices” and prioritise the lives of “ordinary working class families just getting by.” Just six months into her reign it seems selective schooling and the reintroduction of the 11-plus have become her antidote to social prejudice. By converting to a meritocratic system can Britain finally regain education brownie points or have we completely lost perspective? Grammar schools were introduced in modern day Britain in 1944. It was assumed they could focus on academic studies giving children the opportunity to attend higher education, while secondary modern schools would educate children intent on employment within trade sectors. It, however, became widely known that questions that appeared
on the examinations were not usually featured in state primary education, therefore those who had been intensely tutored, in preparation for the 11 plus, tended to score better therefore obtaining a place. In 1998, the Labour School Standards and Framework Act forbid the establishment of any new selective schools, as it was suggested that rather than fostering social mobility, grammar schools and academic selective schools enforced class division and middle class privilege.
‘‘We talk of choice; this becomes irrelevant when families are unable to pay for their child’s grammar school tuition preparation’’ Heated debate has arisen following the recent Spring 2017 budget whereby £320 million has been promised for 140 new free schools that can select pupils on an academic basis. Theresa May
declared “building a great meritocracy means children from ordinary working families are given the opportunity their rich contemporaries take for granted.” However, there is significant evidence showing that May is being more than a little misleading.
‘‘The most affluent 10% of children have a 50% better chance of getting a grammar school place” However, a study conducted by Bristol University, Warwick University and UCL, demonstrated that poorer pupils who perform well at primary school were less likely to get into grammar schools than affluent classmates who did not perform as well. It was revealed in 2016 that the most affluent 10% of children have a 50% better chance of getting a grammar school place, while children from deprived backgrounds have a 6% chance of attending selective education. It has also been
revealed that 1% of pupils at grammar schools receive free school meals; not quite the interests of the ordinary working class rhetoric spouted by one’s Prime Minister. We talk of choice; this becomes irrelevant when families are unable to pay for their child’s grammar school tuition preparation. Meanwhile Finland has year after year championed international educational rankings, by eliminating a private education system and adopting a simple one school system for all children. Rather than taking such an elitist approach to education, we should be fostering a higher level of state education, so we can inspire the young child at the back of class room who believes literature is meaningless, or the young child who believes becoming an engineer is beyond their capabilities. Rather than righting off a child’s future at the age of 11 our government and education system should be funding all schools as a whole, therefore promoting equality of opportunity and outcome.
The Courier
comment .11
Monday 20 March 2017
theSTUDENT PERSPECTIVE
STUDENTS’ UNION
SOAPBOX
COMMENT’S HOME OF ELECTIONS ‘17 WEEKLY RANTS Has ‘accessibility’ become a buzzword? TRUTH ABOUT DIABETES Zoë Godden and Errol Kerr criticise the commodification of the language of disability Alexandra Sadler S D aying that this past academic year has been rough for marginalised groups is like saying that a wheelchair has wheels. Or that you shouldn’t touch guide dogs on duty. Or that autism manifests differently in women. OK, that last one may not be fully integrated into societal knowledge just yet, but trust us on this one. Disability puns aside, this year has also been a year of great progress, both internationally with events such as the Disability March, online movements such as #CripTheVote, and more local, universitybased movement. Not as a bragging point at all, but the work that has been done to start recognising disabled students across campus has had a recognisable impact, and we’ve had many students notice what we’ve done in the space of a year - the creation of DaNSoc and forthcoming nature of the Students with Disabilities Officers this year means that disability is finally at the forefront of university politics. Unfortunately, it’s becoming more and more notable that words which once held meaning within marginalised communities are being picked up as buzzwords, sacrificing their meaning for a cool little soundbite. In particular, a word that was rife amongst our recent student elections - ‘accessible.’ If you haven’t guessed already, accessibility is kind of our jam, referring to how well events, locations, or media can be - surprise - accessed by people who have a disability or mental health condition. It’s pretty important in our day to day lives - if
something isn’t accessible, we can’t go to lectures, attend public events or even complete basic tasks. Not that it surprised us to see the term ‘accessibility’ used so flippantly when talking about things that aren’t even remotely about accessibility. You’ll note that throughout the elections, both of us were very, pedantic about the term, trying our hardest to ensure that a very important word wasn’t thrown about like it meant nothing. As both of us will be working as part of a new officer team next year as both current and incumbent Students with Disabilities Officers, it’s important to recognise that accessibility is meant to be there for those who need it.
‘‘Unfortunately, it’s becoming more and more notable that words which once held meaning within marginalised communities are being picked up as buzzwords’’
The United Nations state that “accessibility is about giving equal access to everyone. Without being able to access the facilities and services found in the community, persons with disabilities will never be fully included.” And we cannot - will not - allow this to happen on our campus. We have made huge steps forward, and we intend to carry on reinforcing precisely what accessibility
means throughout the next academic year. Making societies more ‘accessible’ does not simply mean increasing attendance, and the word isn’t a synonym for such a scenario. Its infuriating that when most able bodied people say they want to make an event ‘accessible to all’, they don’t even consider disabled students, making us feel that they couldn’t care less about us.
‘‘We have made huge steps forward, and we intend to carry on reinforcing precisely what accessibility means’’ So when you say you want to make something more ‘accessible’, you’d best mean it, and you’d best act on it. Organise events in places that have ramps, stair-lifts, and elevators. Ensure videos have subtitles, and that printed materials are available in Braille or larger fonts. Anything that can be recorded for later watching, do it. Consider having quiet spaces for people who may experience sensory overloads or panic attacks. Most of these things don’t take much, but even going out of your way to get a sign language interpreter can ensure students with disabilities are always welcome. Putting even a handful of these in place makes a far more welcoming and truly accessible space.
Do our student elections matter? Grace Dean addresses low voter turnout and the culture of the NUSU election campaigns
O
ver the past few weeks, it’s been hard to avoid the omnipresence of NUSU election season; every toilet cubicle in the university has been adorned with pun-ful posters, lecture shout-outs have been abundant and your Facebook newsfeed has undoubtedly been filled with the same cringe-worthy campaign videos over and over again. The SU elections for the six Sabbatical Officers and nine Part-Time Officers (PTOs) are an integral part of the union’s democracy; the purpose of the Union is to represent students, and thus the students must have a say in the choice of figureheads to represent them. Unfortunately, however, the student body seems somewhat indifferent towards these elections with only 5439 students having voted in them out of a total of more than 20,000. Unlike most other elections in society, it can be hard
for students to determine exactly what impact their vote may have; although the Sabbatical Officers and PTOs undoubtedly work incredibly hard and contribute towards student life, safety and wellbeing in Newcastle, it can be difficult for passive university students to understand the role of the officers and their importance.
‘‘Unfortunately, the NUSU elections have ultimately been tainted by their connotations as popularity contests” Whilst it can be argued that, yes, the elections should primarily aim to benefit voters who are actually interested in being an active part of the student body, it is also true that the elections must ultimately be democratic and reflect the wider student body. In order to do achieve this, the election turnout needs to be increased. To increase turnout, elections must be made more relevant to these inactive members of the student body. Instead of elevating their Big Name on Campus (BNOC) status and releasing comedic if not
rather irrelevant online videos, candidates actually need to focus on the role at hand and what they as an individual can contribute. Unfortunately, the NUSU elections have ultimately been tainted by their connotations as popularity contests between BNOCs, as recently criticised in The Tab. Whilst this year’s candidates offered an impressive breadth of experience, passion and knowledge, their jokey campaigns are seen by some as ultimately exacerbating the demise of the NUSU elections. As someone who regards themselves as an active member of the student body, however, I fully enjoyed following the NUSU elections and feel like they encapsulated the spirit of student life; the candidates this year epitomised the passionate, good-humoured, free-spirited nature of the students of Newcastle University. -Walking around the campus and seeing the election posters made me feel a sense of pride in my university and showed me just how many amazing students there are out there, and I felt proud to be a part of it.
iabetes. It’s a condition that’s in the media a lot today, usually linked to rising obesity rates and the cost of the NHS. However, labelling diabetes as one condition is not only annoying, but also incorrect. There’s numerous different types of diabetes, and many people have diabetes reasons other than diet and exercise. For example, I have type 1 diabetes. Type 1 diabetics do not produce insulin, the hormone that regulates level of glucose in the bloodstream. It’s an autoimmune disease, I’ve had it since I was 5 and there’s nothing I, or anyone else, could have done to prevent it. Perpetuating negative stereotypes doesn’t help anyone, and can lead to deep rooted feelings of guilt or shame, which isn’t conducive to helping treat or manage a chronic condition. Why should I feel guilty for something that I didn’t ask for and couldn’t prevent? The worst part about diabetes isn’t necessarily the stereotypes, but next time you joke about cake causing diabetes, just remember that there’s a person behind the harmful misrepresentations.
DIESEL FUMES
D
Jack Oliver Parker
iesel, the purple stuff, we students love it. But, trouble is brewing, the trouble is, some of the staff in Mensbar can’t make diesel properly. As I sit here, in Mensbar, writing this soapbox, I am sat with a pint of correctly made diesel. “Jack, you’re just being a pedant!” I hear you say. Wrong. Wait tiI I tell you how I’ve seen it made. Fosters first, then half a Strongbow, finished with a mere DRIBBLE of blackcurrant cordial. Disgusting. Absolutely shameful. I bet you’ve just recoiled in horror upon learning that someone put the cordial in last, resulting in said cordial not mixing correctly. Sure, I could get a straw and mix my own drink, but that’s not the point, one of our most treasured institutions is being put at risk by sloppy craftsmanship. I prefer a generous dash of cordial, followed by half a Strongbow and the half a Fosters. Perfect every time. You may think I’m being particular, but I just want to enjoy a fine pint of diesel, that’s all.
MUSIC SNOBS
T
Jordan Oloman
wo types of Music Snobs. There’s the talent rejecters who look at highly successful artists like Michael Jackson and The Beatles and claim they’re overrated. This I can’t understand. Obviously, it gives your ego a little tug, but what’s to gain from claiming that a successful artist was ‘always crap’. Please look me straight in the face and tell me Billie Jean has never made your legs jive. That shits impossible. Type 2 are the genre hoarders. Being agnostic towards rap or pop doesn’t make you a hero. Variety is the spice of life, and your chicken needs some seasoning!
12.
Culture thecourieronline.co.uk/culture
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
Culture Editors: James McCoull & Jack Oliver Parker Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming & Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline
Hope Coke’s League of library lunches Recipe of the Sick of spending your student loan on over-priced sandwiches? Grace Dean has some ideas to stop you splurging on that meal-deal and keeping you away from Pret-a-Manger Week T This week, Hope makes savoury pancakes from all your trusty fridge-fillers!
T
his savoury pancake is made with gram (chickpea) flour, so it’s full of protein and you can even feed it to any gluten free pals. It’s a bit like one of those thick Spanish omelettes but I’ve gone for lots of fresh, spring time flavours with the green veg and herbs. I like to serve it quite simply with a dressed green salad, but you could make it part of a big weekend breakfast or brunch spread and top it with fried or poached eggs (fancy) and avocado. Serves 2 Ingredients: -125g gram (chickpea flour) -200 ml water -1 tsp dried green herbs -1/2 tsp salt -pinch black pepper -2-4 tbsp olive oil -1/2 courgette, coarsely grated -a big handful fresh spinach, roughly chopped -a small handful fresh basil, finely chopped -a small handful fresh mint, finely chopped -2 big handfuls frozen peas -6og feta cheese Directions: Whisk together the gram flour, salt, pepper and dried herbs in a large bowl, then add in just enough water to make a thin batter - you might not need it all. Add in a tablespoon of olive oil, mix in well and set the batter aside. You can do this stage up to couple of hours ahead and leave the batter to rest covered with cling film. Stir the grated courgette, chopped spinach and herbs into the batter, the cook the peas according to packet instructions and mix well. Roughly crumble half the feta and stir through, keeping the rest to scatter over the top of the pancake. Heat a large frying pan over a medium high heat on the hob. Add in a couple of tablespoons olive oil and swish around the pan so it’s evenly coated. Pour in your pancake batter, pressing the mix down with a fork or spatula to get it in an even layer. Cook for about 5 minutes, using a spatula to peek underneath, until the underside of the pancake is well cooked and golden brown. Then put on the grill, turning it up to a medium high heat. Roughly crumble the remaining feta over the top of the pancake, then transfer the pan to the oven, leaving the door open so that the pan handle is sticking out. Grill for about another 3-5 minutes, until the top of the pancake is cooked and set and the cheese is starting to turn lightly golden. Carefully shimmy the pancake out of the pan onto a large board or plate, cut into thick wedges and serve. It’s good hot from the pan, but leftovers can be kept in the fridge and it makes a nice, easy packed lunch when cold too.
he idea of bringing your lunch with you to uni can bring back some haunting memories of your primary school packed lunches – sandwiches that had got squished in your bag under your pencil case, lukewarm yoghurts that had been left in your locker all day, and packets of Fridge Raiders that tasted so damn good but really made your breath stink. Unfortunately, for those of us who are unable to afford a daily Costa panini or even an Eat4Less since their cheeky price hike, packed lunches as a reality for many hungry students on those long times where you just don’t have time to trek back to Jesmond for lunch. Despite this, by using a little bit of magic in the kitchen, your on-campus lunch can be a far cry from the rather pathetic ham and cheese sandwiches that you used to eat in primary school.
and Mediterranean-inspired couscous heaven. Pasta can be a difficult dish to bring for lunch, as some sauces taste much better hot than cold, and unfortunately we still haven’t the promised microwaves in the library. Despite this, I find that a simple homemade tomato and pepper sauce still tastes scrummy when cold, and can add a vitamin kick to your day. Additionally, pasta salads always work well – combine cooked pasta with fresh veggies, cheese and a jar of a pesto for a quick and yummy pick-me-up that never fairs to bring a summery mood.
“Be the envy of your fellow Robbo-goers by sitting in the library with some home-made soup”
“Your on-campus lunch can be a far cry from the rather pathetic ham and cheese sandwiches that you used to eat in primary school”
Naturally wraps and sandwiches are quick, easy and versatile, but often lacking in originality. To spark some joy in your packed lunch, experiment with new fillings that make the most of local and seasonable produce – try smoked salmon and spinach, goats’ cheese and beetroot, or pesto, tomatoes and crunchy red peppers. Be the envy of your fellow Robbo-goers by sitting in the library with some delicious hot homemade soup. To perk you up during the April showers, a flask is a worthy investment and can bring a breadth of opportunities. Ultimately, a packed lunch that is healthy, packed with fresh seasonable vegetables and slow-releasing carbs, and complimented with snacks like fruit, yoghurt and nuts is bound to stop your tummy from rumbling through your two hour seminar.
My personal go-to uni lunch is couscous and salad. Packed full of nutrition and using an array of cheap and fresh veggies from Grainger Market, it’s a quick lunch to make that keeps you full through your back-to-back lectures. Personally I prepare plain couscous and season with rosemary and garlic, then add tinned chickpeas, cherry tomatoes, spinach, and olives if I’m wanting a little Mediterranean twist. Couscous is an often overlooked grain that boasts incredible versatility, and complements a wide range of vegetable accompaniments – look on Pinterest for some Moroccan
Instagram identity Let’s be honest, you spend your life stalking your crushes and celebs, desperately trying to figure them out. Ruth Loeffler is here to tell you what your Instagram says about you Type 1: You eat out ALL the time, yet don’t
get the full enjoyment of a hot steaming plate of something lovely, because by the time you’ve got the perfect lighting and angle, it’s cold… But the picture is what we’re here for. If you make anything at home that is even slightly above mediocre student cooking-level, it must be presented to perfection and then posted for all the world to see. You’ll even tag your mum to make sure she knows you’re eating your greens. Even if you have always hated coriander, it adds just that extra flourish of green that you need, so you’ll sacrifice your taste buds in the quest for the appearance of the next Deliciously Ella.
Type 3: Those people in their experimental drug phase… You’ve all seen it. Glitter all over their faces, crop tops, slightly manic smile. Just take one of these people’s Instagram’s as promo for the next Future Funk event, which obviously they have already planned their outfit for. These guys are all about the good times and desperately want you to know that. Captions include; ‘before I was sick all over Rachel’s shoes,’ or ‘can’t even remember this being taken looool,’ etc. etc. Come summer, these kids are all over the festivals perfecting the plaits and the messy make-up/sunglasses look and making damn good use of those filters to hide their awful skin from too many heavy nights.
Type 2: The big spenders. Similar to the foodies, although generally the male equivalent.
These guys love to post about going to London –for some unknown reason they’re always there anyway, probably because their Daddy’s got a spare flat that you love to ‘rest up’ in at the weekend. This is the person who takes photo of the skyline from their Daddy’s office where they got a day’s worth of work experience and now they ‘just totally get the stock trading vibe.’ These guys will probably be taking pictures of Grey Goose and the number of blonde basics draped over them, saying how good life is in their 20s. In reality, all they’re really looking for is reassurance from their former Uni pals that they did not peak after their experimental drug phase in first year.
Type 4:
Landscape artists. Who’s is this Instagram? I don’t even know, doesn’t have a single picture of their face if I’m honest. All I know is that they definitely went HAAM on the photos when they took a weekend trip to Iceland last autumn… There always seems to be a low setting sun in each picture. They do take good pictures of landscapes, however there are also pictures of alleyways in Newcastle that just look… well average. Maybe we’re missing something here. Maybe they do a photography degree and they just really get the raw edginess of Bigg Market Street. On the other hand, maybe they just can’t be arsed to take pictures of people and so resort to adding filters to otherwise shitty shots to get some attention.
The Courier
Antonia on Hugh
.13
Monday 20 March 2017
Antonia Coleman-Harvey, 2nd year Archaeology meets Hugh Renner-Thompson, 2nd Year Rural Studies Fancy a date? We’ll set you up. Contact us! Find us on The Lifestyle Writers 2016/17 Facebook page
Where did you go? Oh what was it called… we went to Tyne bar in Ouseburn Was it a good decision? Yeah, I mean we were kind of struggling to decide where to go beforehand. But it was quite nice, nice vibe. What do you think he thought about you when he first saw you? Oh my god I don’t know... not sure I want to either! Where you wearing anything fancy? No I’d come straight from the library. I felt a bit bad about that, but I wasn’t planning on dressing up anyway cos I thought… nah. Just selling my real self, rather than pretending to be something I’m not. What did you think about him? I thought he looked kinda cool, I liked his shirt, it was very groovy. I don’t know, I just thought he seems nice. What did you talk about? We talked about a lot. We talked about animals because he lives on a farm or something like that, and he had loads puppies in summer which was cute, he showed me pictures. We talked about uni stuff. Yeah we weren’t really short of stuff to say, which was good. Did you fancy him? Oh god…. Not really, I’m really sorry. I don’t know, I just didn’t see him in that way… If Hugh was a piece of clothing what would he be? A cool shirt! Or maybe… so he was wearing this really huge jacket and said it was like a sleeping bag so maybe one of those big sleeping bags with arms and feet in it, like a ski suit or something cool like that. Did you go anywhere afterwards? No, and I feel bad… I was quite keen to get home because I’d spent all day in the library Such a heartbreaker! I know, I’m really sorry! Were there any awkward moments? Not really no, maybe when I said I wanted to go home! But I don’t think it came across awkwardly. Oh but I did get distracted by the resident cat... I’m guessing you didn’t kiss? Err no. Do you think you’re going to see him again? I’d like to! But in like a group setting… because we have mutual friends, so yeah, in a group context. Did he fulfil your hopes and dreams about the date? Yeah it was a nice date. Yeah, why not! What would you rate him out of 10? Rate him or rate the date? Erm… rate the date first then rate him. Okay so for a blind date it was pretty good, I’d go 7.8. As a person he was really nice so quite highly. I’ll leave that up to your interpretation... Did you find any weird facts out about him? He’s got a phobia of crisps… which was really weird! I felt bad because I was eating crisps, I was like oh shit do you want me to move away?? I wouldn’t like it if someone at spiders in fornt of me haha. Oh and there was something else… he had his stomach pumped when he was about three because he thought paracetamol were sweets so he just ate loads… which I thought was quite funny. Woah that’s so gross… on that note would you recommend blind date to a friend? Yeah definitely. It’s quite a nice way to meet people. Wonderful! Thanks Antonia!
Hugh on Antonia
Hey Hugh, what did you do? We went to the Tyne bar in Ouseburn and it was really cool! Why did you choose it, for it’s coolness? Yeah, and it was really cheap, I only spent a tenner! Does this mean you didn’t buy her many drinks? We did rounds, because its 2017… duh! What did you think about her when she first walked in? She’s a very pretty girl, I was pleasantly surprised. Yeah she was nice… What do you think she thought of you? I don’t know… I don’t want to know! What were you wearing on your date? A fancy shirt! I looked quite smart, and she’d just come from the library. So was she dressed up? Nah she was just casual. But she looked good. What did you talk about? She had loads of good questions, good date questions. She asked me something her friend had the night before, ‘if you could split two animals in half which animals would you put together,’ and she said a raccoon and a toucan- a ratoucan. I don’t know why. And I said a horse and a bird so I could ride it and fly around. Sounds like a hippogriff A pegasus! Pegasus… would you describe Antonia as a Pegasus? No, she wasn’t very horsey, quite cat-like though. If she was a piece of clothing what would she be? Erm… maybe a snazzy boot? Did you fancy her at all? Erm, yeah a bit. She was really nice and funny. I don’t want to come across as the man saying ‘ooh yeah!’ and then she says ‘there’s no spark!’, but she was really nice. I feel like I made a friend at least. She invited me to her birthday party. Did you have a lot in common? Yeah, we talked about animals a lot. And she does archaeology and I want to do heritage stuff so it worked out well. What was your favourite thing about her? EVERYTHINGGGG… (laughs) nah, she was very friendly and chilled out. What would you rate her out of 10? I don’t want to rate her… but the date I’d rate about an 8? Oh I’ve just remembered, We tried to work the jukebox but it didn’t work. Did she have good taste in music? She really likes David Bowie, which was nice. Can I answer some more fun questions? Okay… If she was a toastie what would she be? Ohhh she really likes halloumi, I think she’d be a slab of halloumi with chilli sauce. Did you find out any fun facts about her? Err she got ran over by a toboggan. And I think she said she was scared of toboggans now. Did you stay late? Nah we stayed 7 till 10. We were both quite tired, she’d been in the library all day and I’d had work the night before. Were there any awkward moments? Nah not really. Ooh but on the way home I tried to stroke these two cats and they both tried to scratch me. Not really awkward, just unexpected. Thanks Hugh!
14.lifestyle
Monday 13 March 2017
The Courier
Lifestyle Editors: Ana Beretsos, Ruth Loeffler, Antonia Coleman-Harvey & Brooklyn Shakeshaft Ward
Horoscopes from Astrological Antonia Our resident mystic Antonia Coleman-Harvey guides you through your week Aries March 21- April 19 Your aura is calm and peaceful at this point in time, Aries. Even with looming deadlines and a busy Easter ahead, your head is in a serene place. Which means you’re likely to get along with even the more demanding characters of your group.
Taurus April 20- May 20
Someone from far away has captured your heart, Taurus. Love is most certainly in the air for you. This person may physically and mentally heal you
Gemini May 21- June 20
Keeping up with old friends will not only make them happy, Gemini, but it’ll also relight a spark in you that you thought had gone. Old friends are here to stay, remember that.
Cancer June 21- July 22
Your mind is sharp and your self-expression is free-flowing this week, Moonchild! Let your creativity run free and write about what it is that’s been on your mind for so long now. Get writing on that article you couldn’t nab last week, it’s never too late!
Leo July 23- Aug 22
Lonely Leo. It’s time to stop hidinig in your room like a petrified puppy and socialise a lil bit. Try not to take things so personally on Friday and Saturday, the joke isn’t always on you.
Virgo Aug 23- Sep 22
You are the mum of the group, Virgo, but that doesn’t mean you don’t make mistakes too. You’re afraid your prince charming is going to take his time to come rescue you? Honey, there are more important things to worry about.
Libra Sep 23- Oct 22
Many planets are circling around your money house this week, Libra, and you may want to run and hide. This should basically tell you that the £40 you spent last week at Cosmic was a terrible, terrible mistake.
Scorpio Oct 23- Nov 21
You might need to hold back on discretionary spending for a bit, meaning less go-outside-anddrink, more stay-inside-and-think. This is only temporary though, and don’t worry too much, the best things in life are free.
Sagittarius Nov 22- Dec 21
Thinking of joining a brass band? Joining the gym? Trying out a recipe in this glorious section? What’s stopping you! This is the week of saying a big fat ‘Yes” to everything.
Capricorn Dec 22- Jan 19
It’s time for change, Capricorn, and you’re very aware of it. Whether that’s in your love life, career, food choice, etc., is up to you.
Aquarius Jan 20- Feb 18 You’ve well and truly given up, Aquarius. You can almost taste that beaufitul Easter horizon and the 3 hr train journey to King’s Cross seems nothing short of bliss. But you still have a week to go, so you mustn’t give up just yet.
Pisces Feb 19- March 20
Someone requires your honest opinion on Monday and Thursday, Pisces. But you have way too much on your plate at the minute, right? It’s okay to get back to them at a later date, it’s not a life or death situaiton. And it’ll help you learn how to say no.
Cocktails before cocks
Jack Parker is sick of trying to find ‘the one’, so he’s giving up boys for lent. Here’s why he thinks you should too... it can’t be too hard can it? We’ll keep you updated on the ban
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oys, boys, boys, I’m looking for a good time’ as that famous song goes, could very well suggest to you that I am indeed looking for a male companion – WRONG. As many of you may well know, the 40 days before Easter each year are known as Lent. During Lent you are supposed to give something up that you enjoy, since Lent was originally a Christian tradition remembering the 40 days and nights that Jesus spent in the wilderness preparing for his inevitable death. You’re welcome for that potted R.E. lesson . For some me of you, this could be those cold and ohso dirty trebs, or perhaps your 20-a day Marlboro Gold addiction. This year I have (happened) to give up guys for Lent. I say happened because it has merely happened by chance this year. There were no tearful tantrums, no drunken resolutions and no strong independent man vibes either. Although Lent has already begun, there is no reason that you can’t start giving up men for Lent now and begin living your best life. Cut out that lad drama. Let’s face it guys are stressful, high maintenance and FULL of drama, trust me, for I am also a guy. How many times have you had friends come crying to you because XXXX won’t show any interest in them? Or that they really like YYYYY but they
don’t like them? Or that ZZZZ has cheated on them and that they had been all along? Too many times is the answer. I suggest a much more simple life, just don’t bother with guys, give yourself a little break from it all, after all, they have become such a DRAG. Soon, you’ll be living a less dramatic life, having to get your drama craving from EastEnders each and every night. You can then focus on what is important in this life: having as many trebles as you can and getting in, on and around the Sinners cage. Sisters are doin’ it for themselves. -Everyone knows that the friend who spends too much time with a special someone is bound to end up being resented sooner rather than later. Cut out those guys in your life by just ignoring them. Instead, focus on those who really
matter – your friends and family. You’ll be gutted when you inevitably break up with such and such, but even more devastated to learn that all your friends have got on with their lives. Enjoy a messy night out with the gang, and make memories, not enemies.
“Guys are stressful, High maintenance and full of drama... trust me, I am one!”
Honestly, if you ditch the guys for lent, you are going to have such a good few weeks, no stress, less mess - it sounds like I’m trying to sell you a cleaning product here. Just think of it as a dick diet of sorts. I may sound like a bitter and twisted spinster, but trust me, wash that man out of your hair and just enjoy being young, drunk and single for a little bit longer. I know I certainly am.
“Focus on what’s important: having as many trebles as you can and getting in the sinners cage”
Beat your last year of loneliness You’re in your final year at university and the boyfriend/girlfriend - or lack of - panic has hit. Antonia Coleman-Harvey is here with advice on how to beat the boyfriend blues
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Sipping trebs, blurry few hours of rubbing shoulders with some stranger, munching chips and gravy in bed.. if you were in a teen movie “No scrubs” would be the background tune. Sound like third year you? Then be lonely no longer! You might be renowned for being Single Simon or Hopeless Holly, the idea of you getting into a relationship might even be one humdinger of a funny story to all your besotted besties. But fear not, there are many ways to find university romance in three or so months. I mean, it goes without saying but in short, don’t be too easy or sleazy, don’t go for the off-limits ones, and remember that developing and maintaining long-lasting friendships at uni, that will go beyond uni, is pretty special too.
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Booty calls. Mhm, trust me. 6789998212, as Soulja Boy tell ‘em once told us. Hun, you already threw up on some guy in Munchies’ fresh creps back in first year, you ran out of shame a long time ago. Fellas, it works for you too... ish (I know, I’m sorry. Double standards. It’s covered on the other page). Approach it sensitively though. No one (and I repeat no one) appreciates all that crap you get on Tinder. ‘I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.’ No it must certainly is not. A sweet but subtle ‘you busy?’ is all that is necessary(!!) How might a booty call end in a long-term relationship, you ask? Meh. Might not. But at least you had fun though, right? Save all the serious sh*t for the real world.
Spotted on campus
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Don your best wavey garms, obvs. Seems simple init. Bitta glitta, a snapback, that sort of shizding. Well, I’m kinda kidding. By all means do that if you want, but being yourself is cool too. Or alternatively show your potential bae how different and deep and profound you are - chuck in a few “yaaahh, I like, so agree with...” all the jibber jabber (to put it nicely) “... that you’re saying doood.” Who doesn’t enjoy being told their ideas are revolutionary? So go on, feed their ego! On a serious note though, make sure they’re interested in what you have to say too; you have to be selective. Why let your desperation overide your right to find your perfect partner? If you’re gonna find a love that lasts a lifetime, you gotta find yo’self a listener, not just a looker.
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Having shared all of this really insighful advice with you, I’d just like to say, you don’t have to be ‘looking’ for a partner at all. Being single and being comfortable in yourself is important too, and a great mentality and mindset to develop throughout university. So what’s the hurry? As cliché as it sounds, you might be swept off your feet when you least expect it, and live happily ever after. The end. Anyway, you should be studying your arse off at uni, you don’t need added distractions or annoying texts at 9.30 at night saying ‘want a cuddle?’ cos quite frankly, no you don’t want a cuddle, you want a good 8+ hours sleep. Kuh. Shouldn’t your other half know that by now? Shouldn’t they have known that before you even started going out? Honestly, if you graduate a single pringle, it’s very much OK if you do not want to mingle.
We’ve mentioned him before, but Wan the massage man deserves to be mentioned again... Not only does he give FREE massages every Wednesday afternoon in the Student’s union, he is also a fantastic guitarist! Who knew! I sat and watched him play classical guitar for about half an hour after my massage, and it was utter bliss. Honestly, this guy is a gift to this world, he’s too pur and we definitely don’t deserve him... Have you seen something weird and then wished your friends were there to witness it? We’d love to know who/what you’ve seen around campus that has made you chuckle in the last week. The weirder the better. Just Facebook us and let us know, because chances are we’d love to have a chuckle too.
The Courier
lifestyle .15
Monday 13 March 2017
thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle
Trouble with double standards? Do we have a problem with judgment and labelling someone for doing something they want? Sam Blackburn takes on the topic of differences in perception around having sex
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ouble Standards with men and women… Am I to take on the role of a white knight feminist, stating how unfairly women are treated when it comes to the matters of intercourse, or am I to completely deny the whole entire thing? Neither to be honest with you. When it comes to dating and mating, there’s double standards on both sides and they’re both harmful towards both sexes involved. The stereotypes within society seem to dictate that a man who sleeps around a lot is a legend and a woman who sleeps around a lot is a slut. Is that true? In my opinion, no, but that’s all because of my beliefs. I see sex as something what people enjoy doing because we’re animals who get horny, it’s as simple as that to me, therefore I see defining someone’s status in life by how many sexual partners they’ve had to be pretty null way to impress others. That’s the exact reason why I see the whole labelling people for how many people they’ve had sex with to be a pretty sad thing to do.
blr this question… I’ve heard a few people state that the whole double standards thing comes from the presumption that it’s harder for men to get laid than women. Is this true? I honestly don’t know, but I’ve had friends who were both male and female who enjoyed the sexy time with multiple partners, so I kind of get the impression that it might not be and that people should just get on with their lives, not giving a crap?
“Double standards exist but maybe if we weren’t so obsessed with each others lives then maybe they wouldn’t” I’ve always kind of thought that those people who have lots of sexual partners are the people who generally just have bigger sex drives, therefore must fulfil their urges and that it’s not a gendered thing? I mean women can have sex drives as big as men, heck even bigger. Why if someone needs to fulfil the sexual urge their body has, can they not just do it without being called a slut or a legend? What I’m trying to say is, sleep with who you want, as long as it’s consensual and not with someone already in a relationship, anyone underage, your dog, your copy of Dark Souls 3 (A “friend” tried it) or a member of your family. I know those are basic rules, but I just felt the need to try and tell people to literally stop giving a shit about what other people think. Double standards exist, but maybe if we weren’t so obsessed with each others lives then maybe they wouldn’t.
“Why do girls seem to be insulted for being promiscuous whereas men are praised?” At the end of the day, it’s their body and their business, I couldn’t give a crap if they’re participating in foreplay, having sex or unleashing a bowl movement on their chests for extreme sexual pleasure, it’s just none of my business and neither is it yours. Why do girls seem to be insulted for being promiscuous whereas men are praised? Is it some sort of patriarchal conspiracy in which men are trying to further oppress women? Maybe don’t ask Tum-
Housemates from hell
Have a problem housemate? One you may accept and love or one dread getting home to? Jaymelouise Hudspith has a few to look out for. If you don’t know one... is it you?
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e love them, we hate them but we all have them. Nightmare housemates. Now this can come in many forms and if you don’t have at least one then chances are that it’s probably you. After scouring the internet and a survey around campus, I have discovered a common trend in the horrific ordeal all of us brave enough to moving away from home face every time we leave the comfort of our bedrooms. After listening to all the tales of terror I have categorised them into 4 major groups:
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Mr Invisible / anti-socialite / tightwad
Now you may have trouble remembering them since they seem to have gone into hibernation and haven’t left their room in weeks. In fact, the only reason you know they still live there (or you know, that they’re alive) is that they scrimp and steal your stuff in the dead of the night like some sort of ninja. They’re under some assumption that if they never go out, leave us to freeze by refusing to put the heating on and never buy the essentials like milk, toilet paper, bread… secretly stealing yours instead, somehow they’ll manage to stay out of debt. Their stealth skills are almost impressive but who really has time for that annoyance.
“Their stealth skills are almost impressive but who really has time for that annoyance” 2.
The slob / the pig / the couch potato
This housemate is carefree, laid back. They don’t have time to worry about the mundane chores of life like cleaning. They’ll no doubt leave a tower of mould infested dishes which have been there for
weeks that you’re dying to wash (or bin), especially when they start to use your dishes instead. This is the kind of person who is all up for a house party but the morning after clean up? Not a chance. They’ll be in bed hanging cuddled up to half a left over pizza they were too drunk to remember buying, if you’ve really hit the jackpot they might even be the type to vomit on the floor and just step over it.
“If you’ve really hit the jackpot they might even be the type to vomit on the floor and just step over it ”
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The drama queen / the bitch / the dippy one
They make you feel like the parent of the house – did they lock the door? Did they pay their rent? What drama will they get into if I go home? Everyone will think they’re sweet or only joking but you know your friend and you know they have a new pet peeve every day and are the first to jump at an argument. Yet you love them anyway and you’ll always be the shoulder to cry on even though all they do is moan about trivial stuff that really shouldn’t matter and they never want to hear your problems.
“They make you feel like the parent of the house- did they lock the door? Pay the rent? What drama will they get into before I go home? ”
RANT OF THE WEEK
Bills, boring bills...Amanda Jane Yap shares her feelings about growing up and having to pay bills
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hey say that the moment you enter university is the day you become an adult because you learn how to juggle academic priorities, social life and financial responsibilities. When in Second Year or Third Year, the day you move into a private accommodation, you become an experienced adult. I completely disagree, beg to differ, reject that statement, whatever you call it. For me, it is when you can effortlessly juggle all responsibilities effectively, you have graduated to adulthood. However as university students, how many of us can confidently tell other people that our lives are in working order, if so, how are we capable of being experienced adults who are able to pay our own bills and know exactly when we are being ripped off ? Forgive me, for I’m not a local, but are electricity bills supposed to add up to 200 pounds monthly? I have absolutely no clue how this country is being run, judging from the way our house expenses start to increase after a certain month. If not for my housemate who happened to open
“When you can effortlessly juggle all responsibilities effectively, you have graduated to adulthood ”
our electricity bill to do a random check, finding it suspicious, she decided to log into our online electricity account. To our horror, we realised that we were owed 156 pounds to the electricity company. How did that even happen? So it goes that even though we paid the minimal sum to the electricity company, if we used more than we paid, the amount will accumulate which we will have to pay before we shift out. Our question was, why couldn’t it be more straightforward? Simply by checking our meter then charging us according to how much we use monthly, this is a much simpler method in my opinion rather than getting a rude shock of realising that we were actually in debt. Fortunately, we realised it the beginning of this year and we have been consciously trying to use less energy in our house since then. However, 7 months into this advanced ‘adulting’ course has been proven to be a dismal failure. The fact that we struggled for many days to understand the working of how to pay our electricity bills already says how we have not yet graduated from this basic ‘adulting’ course but were thrust into this scary world of paying bills, constantly worrying if we were just getting ripped off our money by bloodsucking government-run corporations. To conclude, the simple solution to this is just to
The party animal / the wannabe DJ / the wildchild
They go out at least 4 times a week, and never for a quite drink either. It’s all out or don’t bother. They love to host pres, playlist at the ready to deafen you with (even though there are only 5 people are sat around the sofa drink in hand). Now when you’re in need of a good night they’re your go to but otherwise who needs 37 snapchats between 2-5am about their amazing night. Thanks but some of us have 9am’s to actually attend. They’ll no doubt wake you up coming in drunk when they’ve lost their keys or by just being a loud mess.
move back to student accommodation, just pay a lump sum and let the professionals worry about the rest. You can turn the heating on full blast and enjoy individual toilet privileges, after all, the shocking amount that you pay for electricity together with the rent is probably equivalent what you will pay in total for student accommodation anyway.
Monday 20 March 2017
16. fashion
The Courier
Fashion Editors: Liz Rosling, Izzi Watkins & Zofia Zwieglinska
Hadid dons a hijab for Vogue cover Rory Ellis discusses the latest controversy to court Vogue Arabia
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igi Hadid’s decision to sport a hijab for the inauguration cover of Vogue Arabia is not the first time she and supermodels alike have taken photos with a certain political edge. Karlie Kloss and Gigi’s best friend, Kendall Jenner, are all accustomed to sparking a little controversy. Waves of outraged readers have taken to the world of social media to voice their anger about the cover, claiming these ‘culturally appropriated’ photos to be distasteful and offensive. On the cover of Vogue Arabia, Gigi wears a bejewelled veil resembling a cloth mask more than hijab. However within the pages of the issue she wears a more traditional purple hijab, seemingly at the heart of the debate surrounding the magazine’s contentious move. Some twitter users have complained that the photos are an effort to appropriate aspects of Islam and create some publicity for the expansion of a leading fashion magazine. Others rage against the injustice that Hadid’s cover is considered ‘arty’ and fashionable, while Muslim women around the world are judged for their decision to wear one. I’m aware that these are subjective generalisations of what are a very mixed and complex bunch of opinions, but it’s certain that there is no shortage of public engagement with an issue that has always been prominent in the fashion industry.
“Some twitter users have complained that the photos are an effort to appropriate aspects of Islam and create some publicity for the expansion of a leading fashion magazine”
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And lastly remember to pack a small side bag, as the last thing you want is to be carrying your large bag around with you. Make sure it can fit some of the essentials (cards, ID, money, phone etc) and put your
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Alternatively if you’ve got a bit more time, grab a makeup wipe and start your base from scratch.
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Unfortunately you won’t have time to hop in a shower, so your deodorant of choice will be the hero product to refresh yourself a bit.
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Equally as important is a quick spritz of Dry Shampoo. We have all been there, about to leave the door when you suddenly realize that your hair is actually a lot greasier than you had thought. Personally, I’d opt for a dry shampoo that offers a bit of volume and texture.
other bag away in the cloakroom.
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Another easy way to vamp up any look in an instant is with a Bold Lip, it instantly creates a statement whilst also being reasonably easy to achieve.
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If like me you prefer to enh a n c e eyes to lips, the easiest way to update your day look is with a smoky eye by using an Eye Crayon, simply apply and blend out with your fingers, quick and effective.
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Jewellery is another quick save to dress up any outfit. It’s also fairly compact, so you can get away with bringing a diverse selection of statement accessories to choose from.
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In terms of changing your outfit, changing your top is probably the easiest way to update your outfit and also means you don’t need to bring your entire wardrobe to the library with you. Choose something more evening appropriate to dress up the trainer jeans combo you’ve been wearing all day to transgress your outfit from day to night.
Baptiste Hairspray £4.49, Topshop Crystal Trainers £26, Koko Couture faux leather clutch £22, Topshop Lips in Shazam £8, &otherstories double hoop earrings £12
Think Pink: The Major Trend Grabbing Headlines Louis Johnson brings us up to date with the most wearable ways to bring in pink into our wardrobes this season
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earing outfits in one colour is very on-trend right now, and ‘all-pink’ outfits are some of the most popular choices of many fashion influencers for SS17. The colour pink might be seen as what 5-year-olds dress their dolls in, but it’s actually had a brand new makeover and even though it may seem daunting at first, it isn’t so difficult to incorporate it into your everyday wardrobe. If bright colours aren’t your thing, there are a huge array of pink and off-pink shades available on the high street this season. It has never been easier to get your hands on this season’s hottest shade. You don’t have to go all out, as you can merge the trend into your outfits with some simple accessories. Starting off small, Ray Ban have an option where you can choose reflective pink
lenses for the majority of their frames. Or, if you live in your trainers, why not have a look at these Nike Roche Two Casual shoes for an effortless twist on an everyday classic. Pale/ dusty-pink handbags and shoes are easy to accessorise your outfits with, as they are softer than white, and therefore not as harsh and likely to get dirty. They’re also better for summer than black and can be worn with a simple summer dress without looking too harsh. Also, pale coloured shoes lengthen the legs, so wearing blushed pink is a win-win. Last year saw biker jackets take off in a big way, and the trend isn’t over yet. Last year Zara brought out a range of faux-leather jackets and you couldn’t walk down the street without seeing one - you know which one I mean! This year, they are back, but have been brought out in a faux-suede range in the same style with lighter colours. The jackets come in a range of different light and dark colours, but my favourite is the dusty pink. However, every time I looked to see if they had it in stock they have been sold out, and so I have found this version from Bershka that is almost the same, and a little bit cheaper! Pink doesn’t always have to be girly. The grunge trend is huge right now and there are so many designers who have mixed the two trends together. Now we are seeing a mix of grunge and pink in all our high-street stores. For example, this Pull and
Bear sweatshirt really nails the pink and frills trend but not in a sweet, girly way. This jumper is not for the faint-hearted, but would without a doubt add a bit of flare to your look, whilst still being comfortable and wearable. Also, this trend is not just for women - it’s 2017 and girls can wear blue so why can’t men wear pink too? After Yeezy season 3, we saw a huge rise of pinks in men’s high-street stores. For example this River Island pink denim jacket is easy to wear and would look great on any man who is wanting a look outside the box whilst also adding a bit of colour to his every day wardrobe staples.
Pull & Bear frilled sleeve sweatshirt £25.99
New Look Quilted iPhone 6/6S Case, £6.99
Bershka faux suede biker jacket, £49.99
M&S centre Seam Funnel Neck Jumper, £14.00
LAMODA Satin Mini Backpack in Pink Rose, £21.99
@fashionchickuk
Vogue.com
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If you’ve been bashing out that essay for a while, you’re probably a bit shiny and/or dry and therefore in dire need of some concealer top up. The best way to refresh the skin before applying more makeup is to use a hydrating Facial Spray, to renew some moisture to the skin whilst also giving it some slip to help blend in another layer of product.
River Island, Pink denim jacket £45.00
@popcornandmadness
Vogue.
Isabelle Bettany takes your look from the library to the bar in just nine simple steps
p eap byn om @c
I’m going to avoid suggesting what should and shouldn’t offend people because as a white British male, I have no idea what can be and is offensive in this particular context. That said, I personally felt that Vogue didn’t by any means try to cause offense. Those highlighting the oppression of hijab-wearing women must be aware that this is no fault of Vogue, in fact, their decision to feature traditional Muslim dress in this way seems to be a stylish promotion of the garment that contradicts many of its stereotypes. Could it have been a Muslim model on the cover? Yes. Would it have been better to do that? Possibly. But perhaps having a half Palestinian model is not the worst decision. Though her Palestinian roots have been disregarded as a fact she wheels out when it suits her, I feel it should be considered here. Her childhood in a Muslim household does, in truth, make her more representative of the Arabian peninsula than it does, say, an entirely American model a la Karlie Kloss or Cara Delvigne. Plus, her varied ancestry, which contains Dutch and Palestinian inheritance, makes her a more suitable candidate for Vogue’s attempt to reach out towards the Arab world and diversify their brand. This cover, in Hadid’s words, is an attempt to ‘show another layer of the fashion industry’s desire to continue to accept, celebrate, and incorporate all people’. And her very own background is an effective way of showing this inclusivity. However, if you’re under the impression that this was the job for a practicing Muslim or a resident of the Arabian peninsula, then perhaps comments should be directed towards the management and casting directors of
From desk to dance floor
Zalando, NIKE SPORTSWEAR ROSHE TWO Trainers atomic pink £67.99
The Courier
fashion .17
Monday 20 March 2017
thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion
Female impresario: Vivienne Westwood Angus Kirk looks into the high career of fashion boss Dame Vivienne Isabel Westwood
instagram: @cmpunk
Out with the old: 2016 fashion faux pas Lauren Sneath delves into the fashion trends from 2016 that it’s high time we ditch
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instagram: @v ivi
instagram: @vivi_fan_abad
unk Priestess, activist and general badass Dame Vivienne Westwood has truly retired in style. Westwood modelled in her latest runway show last month, having handed over creative control of her label to husband Andreas Kronthaler, an Austrian fashion designer. Born in a small village in Cheshire, after her family moved to London she studied silver smithing at Harrow School of Art, deciding to leave after just one term because, in her own words, “I didn’t know how a working-class girl like me could possibly make a living in the art world”. After working in a factory and training to be a teacher, she worked in a primary school while making jewellery in her spare time, which she sold on a market stall at Portobello Road. It wasn’t until she met Malcolm McLaren that she discovered design. The pair were more interested in the rebellious style of the 1950s than the hippie movement which was en vogue in the late 60s. Having started making Teddy Boy clothes for McLaren, the duo opened Let it Rock in 1971, which is where Westwood’s label began. Throughout the ‘70s the pair sold Westwood’s groundbreaking designs, including what McLaren dubbed “the ultimate punk-rock t-shirt”’, which was emblazoned with a swastika and an inverted crucifix
under the word ‘destroy’, and clothes created using 17th and 18th century cutting techniques, like the classic radically cut tartan trousers worn by John Lydon of the Sex Pistols.
“She studied silver smithing at Harrow School of Art, deciding to leave after just one term because, in her own words, “I didn’t know how a working-class girl like me could possibly make a living in the art world”
Fast forward through the decades and Westwood has drawn inspiration from an eclectic range of sources; from Native American women to Hypnos (the Greek God of sleep) and even Clint Eastwood, Westwood has never been one to hold back; her many outrageous stunts have garnered almost as much attention as her revolutionary designs over the years. From accepting her OBE from Her Majesty in no knickers to making a radical speech entitled ‘End Capitalism’ to a bunch of shocked kids receiving their Gold Duke of Edingburgh Award to my personal favourite, riding a tank to David Cameron’s front door in a fracking protest. Almost as surprising as this is of course her fash-
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ion design retirement and subsequent catwalk debut. Westwood stole the show while modelling two looks from the latest collection in front of a star-studded audience, including Rita Ora and Pamela Anderson, who sat front row. Her first outfit was a large pink and purple pinstriped bomber jacket with a matching asymmetrical hem skirt, perhaps a nod to the bouffant silhouettes used in her ‘mini-crini’ of the mid-80s. Later, her black silk ensemble embroidered with gold turned heads once again. Both outfits were teamed with a pair of purple heels with green wool socks and yellow hiking laces. She received a standing ovation from the crowd, stealing the show from the other models despite the statement crisp packet jewellery and coffee cups adorning their hair. Given Westwood’s history of environmental campaigning, it’s highly probable that these are a nod to the throwaway society we capitalist consumers live in. Now that she’s handed over the reins to her husband, Westwood will doubtless have plenty of spare time on her hands to use her extraordinary talents to branch into other creative fields – maybe a return to her silver smithing routes to make some high couture jewellery? Whatever it is she does next, I’ll be watching closely – watch this space.
Spotted on Campus: Spring Edition The Courier Fashion Editors headed out to scour the campus for the best spring style
Name: Alison Mace Degree Course: Dentistry, 2nd year Outfit: Coat (New Look), boots (John Lewis) Favourite shop: Uniqlo
Name: Georgie Prosser (left) Degree Course: Dentistry 4th year Outfit: Coat (Primark), trousers (Adidas) Favourite shop: H&M Name: Heather Morgan (right) Degree Course: Dentistry 4th year Outfit: Coat (Primark), trousers (Topshop)
Name: Daniel Kim Degree Course: Biomedical Sciences 1st year Outfit: Coat (bought in Korea), shoes (Clarks) Favourite shop: The ones in Korea!
Name: Laura Burnett Degree Course: Music 1st year Outfit: Dungarees (Asos), shoes (Underground) Favourite shop: Asos
“I beg that we finally be rid of hoodies bedazzled (shudder) with unicorn heads, and t-shirts proclaiming that the wearer would ‘rather be a unicorn’. You may not be a unicorn, but you are tacky and annoying, so please stop’
And finally, onto another trend that has sprung from the ever-omnipotent Kardashian clan. In my opinion, caging one’s feet in clear plastic heels boards on the bizarre, but that didn’t stop this trend from being a hit with the A-list and the public last year. It really does not make sense to me to display to the world your bare feet as they swelter away inside a plastic bag. If the ‘my legs are dripping with condensation’ look is something you strive for then this is an excellent wa›y to achieve it, but if not, let’s agree to bury this perspiring fad and never speak of it again. Of course, fashion must constantly change and bring forth new, exciting ideas. Surely, however, there are better ones out there than these? I hope and pray that 2017 can provide us with better options than childish motifs, socks-as-shoes, ripped clothing (groundbreaking) and foot-greenhouses. OK 2016- you’ve had your fun, but it’s over now.
instagram: @kimkar1xstyle
instagram: @viviennewestwoodofficial
erhaps the output of the fashion industry last year was understandably affected by the 365-day catastrophe that was 2016... Maybe, blinded by the shit show that was Brexit and the election of Donald Trump as US President, the bizarre trends they chose to bring to the forefront of fashion culture were chosen accidentally. Whatever the cause, one thing is for sure; these strangely catchy but definitely dreadful stains upon the history of fashion need to be eliminated this 2017. So let’s turn over a new leaf and start with a speedy farewell to all the unicorn-spattered merchandise out there with no real value. Leave it to the fashion industry to transform a beloved children’s mythical character into a stamp of poor taste. I beg that we finally be rid of hoodies bedazzled (shudder) with unicorn heads, and t-shirts proclaiming that the wearer would ‘rather be a unicorn’. You may not be a unicorn, but you are tacky and annoying, so please stop. Next on the list, Kanye… oh, Kanye. Thank you for using your mysterious influence upon the world (and your famous relatives) to force upon us new, ridiculous trends. It must be a real thrill to be the proud pusher of the “sock boot”- a shoe so poorly designed that I now see hordes of girls stumbling around, their ankles bizarrely emphasised by the lack of any real structure, constantly pulling the ever-wrinkled upper of the boot to cut off the circulation in their calf. And Mr West’s odd fashion choices don’t stop there. I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry at the latest ‘Yeezy’ inspired fashion fetish: clothing full of holes. Now don’t get me wrong, this has been useful; I never thought I’d see the day when my grim old t-shirts, long retired to the back of my cupboard for emergencies, could be considered ‘high fashion’. It may be tricky to pass off the food stains as intentional, but at least the many holes, tears and frayed edges are now less ‘homeless’ and more ‘haute couture’.
instagram: @the_anidant_store
18. beauty
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
Beauty Editors: Miranda Stoner, Ellie Trent & Ellen Walker
Get the unicorn look Lois Johnston talks us through one of the latest make-up trends
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ast week, make up giant Tarte Cosmetics announced they are bringing out a new ‘Make Believe in Yourself ’ collection which is to be themed around unicorns. The mythical creature is the centre of all the products in the new collection set to launch later this spring and is just one example of a trend that many makeup brands are trying to incorporate into their new launches. The newest release will see makeup brushes with unicorn horn shaped handles, a rainbow highlighter, and an eye and cheek palette. Farsali was another brand who brought out a unicorn themed product earlier this year when they released their sold out Unicorn Tears. This multipurpose oil, which made instagrammers and beauty addicts all over the world lose their minds, is oil, paraben, and sulfate free, so can be used on all skin types. It is the most recent version of their gold-flecked Rose Gold Exilir and although it does not contain actual real life unicorn tears it does contain anti-oxidants such as goji and acai and vitamin C. So not only is it a perfect base for your make up to glide on easier and last longer, but it is also a perfect skin care product.
“So not only is it a perfect base for your make-up to glide on easier and last longer, but it is also a perfect skin care product”
One of the most anticipated spring beauty releases has been Too Faced’s summer collection. The new collection launched last week but is yet to come to the UK. In the collection, there are three highlighters in a beautiful heart shaped packaging, and they come in a rose shade, a gold shade and a purple/silver shade, so a range of skin tones are covered. Other companies to have joined this trend and have either already released or will be releasing their own highlighters in the near future include the American brand Milk and everybody’s favourite drug store brand NYX. Milk have launched a ‘Holographic Stick’ which is a creme-based highlighter and can be patted on top of the cheekbones for a more intense glow, or for an every day litfrom-within glow, can be used under a make-up base as a brightening primer. To add to their newly released Purple First Light Primer which claims to even out and revive dull skin, Becca are also bringing out a ‘Prismatic Amethyst Highlighter’ in the coming months. The highlighter has a subtle lilac tone which, like their primer, brightens and neutralises dull skin and because the pigment is duo chrome, the colour will change at different angles to make the glow look more natural. According to Kerry Cole, the company’s global style director, the highlighter also contains rose and gold pigments, so hopefully, makes it more accessible to warmer skin tones.
“I do not see this unicorn make-up trend dying down anytime soon” One product which no unicorns were harmed in the making of, is Kat Von D’s vegan Alchemist Holographic Palette. This triangular shaped palette contains 4 holographic shades - Emerald (green), Saphyre (blue), Amethyst (ultra-violet) and Opal (pink). The brand’s creator Kat Von D says that this palette is “perfect for customising finishes and exploring your artistic expression.” So, even though this palette took over seven years to make, I must say I doubt that this is for the faint-hearted. I do not see this unicorn make up trend dying down anytime soon. Huge beauty brands such as Christian Louboutin, Guerlain and Laura Mercier are all set to, or already have released new unicorn inspired twists on their favourite most popular products for 2017. Besides, who wouldn’t want to look like a magical mythical creature?
Punishable piercings Susanne Norris shares some top tips on the do’s and don’ts of bold body piercings
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e all saw it coming, the girl who talked about tattoos a few months ago is back to talk about piercings! And, surprise surprise, I love them. Turning sixteen was definitely a milestone for me in terms of what I decided to do with my body. My mum (who hated piercings) just had to take deep breaths as I’d come home with a new piercing every month. Some were obvious and some not so obvious, but I have to say I loved them all. But was it just a way to rebel? I must admit I have taken most of them out now, either through choice or losing the jewellery and not bothering to replace it. However, despite my motive for getting my piercings I absolutely love the ones I’m left with today.
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting a piercing to follow a fashion trend, but remember to fully think it through”
I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting a piercing to follow a fashion trend, but remember to fully think it through. I used to have collar piercings after I saw loads of pictures on Tumblr and I loved them as a fashion statement. I loved the fact everyone would look at me and ask about them as I thought they were beautiful. However, whilst they looked amazing you have to remember the realities of piercings in delicate areas. With my collars, one piercing rejected (this is common with surface bars) so I was left with just one collar piercing for over a year after that as scar tissue isn’t fun to re-pierce. You should also prepare yourself for very subtle but permanent scarring with surface bars.
There’s nothing wrong with following a piercing trend if you fall in love with it, just make sure you’ve fully researched the consequences. Similar advice goes for even the more discreet piercings, like nipple piercings. I know after Kendall did it the demand for these piercings rose as everyone loved the edginess of it. But take it from someone who had both done, oh my god does it hurt. You also have to prepare yourself for days/weeks of aching nipples, sensible bras, and let’s not forget regular cleaning with saline. That said, they’re probably my favourite piercing (I was gutted when I had to take one out for good) and are totally worth the pain, you just need to do your research before jumping on the bandwagon. For someone who said I love piercings, it may appear otherwise from all my do’s and don’ts above. I have always loved piercings and always will, I just think people should make sure they know what they’re in store for before they get one. That being said, as previously mentioned in my tattoo article I am a super impulsive person who doesn’t like to take life too seriously, so if you’re someone who’s debating a piercing I 100% say go for it! Whether it’s something subtle like a belly piercing or something that can change your face as long as you know you’ll have to clean it then go and do it! I got my nose pierced when I was sixteen and never looked back. I hated my nose and still hope to get rhinoplasty one day (but that’s a whole different opinion piece) but wearing a hoop in it now makes me a bit more confident about how my nose looks, which is amazing. Piercings have the ability to create newfound confidence and look awesome at the same time, so if you want one then go and get it!
Whip those teeth into whiteness Jayjelouise Hudspith tells us the best home remedies to keep your teeth pearly white
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o we all know traditional techniques to whiten your teeth but lately there have been some weird and wonderful ones surfacing on the internet. Obviously nothing will ever give you the same results as some expensive kit but as a student I think I speak for us all when I say that is one luxury we cannot afford. Therefore, I have found three techniques I found particularly interesting for you all to try, at minimal price and effort.
“In the morning or night before you brush your teeth, take roughly a tablespoon of coconut oil and allow it to soften naturally in your mouth” 1. Coconut oil rinse / oil pulling
You’ve all probably heard of this one, it blew up in the media not too long ago and sounds a bit mad, but it does have positive effects on teeth. Not only whitening but improving the overall health of your teeth by remov-
ing bacteria and plaque. Yes, the thought of rinsing your mouth with oil doesn’t sound like the most appealing thing but it does give you a happier and healthier smile (and breath). In the morning or night before you brush your teeth take roughly a table spoon of coconut oil allow it to soften naturally in your mouth. Then just push the oil around your teeth (a bit like mouth wash before you gargle) for 10 – 15 minutes, a long time I know but you have to commit to whiter teeth. Spit it out and rinse your mouth with water to remove the taste, then simply brush your teeth like normal. Do this 3 times a week, you won’t see a huge change within a week, it’s a long process but well worth it.
2. Strawberry, salt and bicarbonate soda – paste / scrub
The strawberries help give your teeth a nice boost in vitamin C which will help break down and remove any signs of plaque which is often a cause of yellow looking teeth. Strawberries are also a source of malic acid which will help to remove any signs of stains on your teeth – good news for coffee drinkers and smokers. We all know bicarb is good for your teeth, it’s an ancient remedy for whitening yellow teeth, however it is a natural alkaline which can be harsh on sensitive teeth as it can damage the enamel as it removes stains and plaque. So feel free to leave this ingredient out of your scrub. The sea salt will help to restore any lost minerals which will promote healthy teeth, which in turn will help improve whiteness. However, it can be harmful to your gums so only use a small amount. Use 1 to 3 large strawberries, a pinch of sea salt and the optional ½ teaspoon of bicarb. Blend all your in-
gredients together until you have a paste. Now taking some toilet paper just wipe any spit from your teeth to make them as dry as possible before administering the scrub. Using your toothbrush, dip it into the scrub and generously apply covering all your teeth. Leave it on for around 5 minutes before rinsing with water. This technique you can do nightly without the bicarb, 3 times a week with to protect your teeth from any damage.
“The sea salt will help to restore any lost minerals which will promote healthy teeth, which in turn will help increase whiteness” 3. Banana peels
Now bear with me, I know this one sounds the weirdest of the three but it was recommended by my housemate (who has a lovely white smile so it much work right?). Apparently the high amount of potassium and magnesium in a ripe banana can help remove stains from teeth and in turn whiten them. It is also great sources of vitamin D and calcium to improve the overall healthiness of your smile. You can tell a banana is ripe by its firmness, it may still be showing traces of green at each end, not fully green though. This is when the peel contains the highest levels of potassium and will have the most impact on your teeth. Peel your banana, taking a small piece of the inside of the peel gently rub it along your teeth for 2-4 minutes – covering as much of your teeth as you can with the inner peel. Once the time is up, rinse your mouth and brush your teeth as normal. Over time you will have a brighter, whiter healthier smile.
The Courier
beauty.19
Monday 20 March 2017
thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty Instagram @courier_beauty | Twitter @CourierBeauty
Fresh off the runway
Sally Mu talks us through her favourite ‘unwearable’ fashion show beauty statement and offers her knowledge on how to tailor the look to suit the day-to-day needs of your life
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ashion week has come and gone, and sometimes we’re more impressed by models’ crazy beauty looks rather than their designer couture. Here’re some shocking moments that had previously cropped up on major shows— Missoni sent models out with winged shape, cartoonish colour-blocking slashed all over their eyelids, doll-like painted lashes at Mary Katrantzou, and Givenchy girls showcased head-turning edgy face masks and nose piercings, and even outrageous bleached eyebrows at Marc Jacobs, etc. You might think their makeup seem unwearable for real life and is best left on the catwalk. It’s definitely true that some extremely dramatic makeup is there to support the designer’s creative vision and help further realise their deepest fashion fantasies. Therefore, it’s certainly impossible to take strong beauty looks off the runway and duplicate the exact looks to daily life.
“Therefore, it’s certainly impossible to take strong beauty looks off the runway and duplicate the exact looks to daily life”
However, we could minimise quirky looks and translate them effortlessly into our repertoire. I particularly favor the conceptual blue-hued trend and face arts that has crept through fashion shows and into every day make up. Blue makeup has gone kiss-ass recently—first it showed up all over the catwalks, and later filtering down through the magazines to the cosmetic counters which has given me the urge to try it out and introduce it to you. As seen at Chanel’s hazy pastel
blue ski masks, to the painterly smudge of cyan at Missoni, such bold beauty looks came courtesy of a vivid, coolest blue and have been adapted to make it a wearable and surprisingly flattering tone. This time round, they’re going to be all over our makeup bag—there’s a vast array of blueish beauty products from drugstores to luxury labels, such as TOPSHOP, Revlon, and The Body Shop, who have all created their own eye shadow versions of this tricky shade, Kylie Cosmetics’ most recent launch of the gorgeous Royal Peach Palette features a totally unexpected royal blue, and also YSL came with electric blue mascara and eyeshadow. Urban Decay and NYX invented glide-on eye pencils from turquoise to cerulean to navy.
Two ways to ace the vibrant blue-eyed trend:
For beginners, it’s best to start off with small doses to cure your blue makeup phobia—simply pair a deeper blue mascara with navy eyeliner to give your eyes extra definition. To keep the blue theme running, boldly team with an aquamarine polish on your fingers. If you dare to try a full-on, more punchy statement look, then keep the rest of the look minimal. As in, go for a smoky cobalt or crisp celestial blue liner over the upper lid and draw it out as a flicked feline shape, then blend outwards. Next, smudge it along the lower lashes, but deepen
“My another runway beauty obsession is the trendy face art. Beware, they ain’t for faint hearted!”
the waterline with black. It’s definitely the ultimate date-night look that will make your eyes pop.
Instagram: @chanelofficial
My another runway beauty obsession is the trendy face art. Beware, they ain’t for faint hearted! As makeup isn’t just about eyes and lips, designers also painted unique artistic facial ‘trademarks’ on models that demonstrated the range of face art movement this spring. So adorn skin with your own stamp of individuality, and, besides being fun to wear, it’s all about conveying an attitude. It’s very individual option and the way to pull off face art is by using an inky liner and painting anything you want—the unrivalled Egyptian queens-inspired kohled eyes are most recreated look off the fashion shows, to add a fresh twist on bold looks, then paint floating graphic liner patterns along your socket line using regal blue. Or, draw stars in a half-moon shape around your temples and upper cheekbones, it’s so chic and free-spirited that will be an undoubtedly failsafe festive hit. True me, this trend is up and coming fast and it’s one you’ll want to try for spring.
Scarlett Carroll talks us through the two F-words and gives us her opinion of whether or not you can be a feminist and wear make-up, or if the two contradict each other.
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“Women should be allowed the decision of wearing makeup and taking control of their own sexual practises”
It is definitely easy to argue that historically the makeup industry has ignored some women, with skin products for very dark and very light skinned women being very hard to find, but times are changing. When previously the foundation and concealer displays were filled with an abundance of sand, beige and ivory shades, there are now shades that fit a wider variety of skin tones. Kat von D’s Lock It foundation added 13 new shades, Nyx Cosmetics Total Control Drop has 24 different shades and Lancome’s Teint Idole Ultra 24H’s shade range has just increased to 40. With the industry becoming more and more sensitive to the beautiful
Instagram: @Aliciakeys
variations in skin tones, it is becoming more difficult to criticise the industry for not appealing to all women.
“When Alicia Keys announced she was no longer wearing makeup, the public were split into two camps”
Instagram: @ashleyezuest
Instagram: @katvondbeauty
Hannah Lockyer tells us why, when it comes to your beauty products, it’s what’s on the inside that counts
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Foundation or feminism? form of of self expression and creativity, or a way to conform to beauty standards inflicted by a patriarchal society? Whilst most feminists are striving for real change, some just seem hell bent on oppressing the free choice of their sisters. It seems that all too often that bold and bright makeup is looked down upon by some who deem is to be whore-ish. This putting down of both women who work in the sex industry and of those who are choosing to be more adventurous with their makeup is certainly not a view that I would include in my own feminist views. The use of make up by feminist has been such a contentious issue that it even warranted a new label for those wishing to bring femininity back into feminism through Lipstick Feminism. Formed in the early 1990s as a part of the Third-Wave Feminist movement, it proposes that choice is inherent to the empowerment of women suggesting that women should be allowed the decision of wearing makeup and taking control of their own sexual practises.
Don’t judge a product by its packaging
When Alicia Keys announced she was no longer wearing makeup, the public were split into two camps - those who supported her and those who believed it was an attack on makeup. As a powerful talent black women who is excelling in her field it was empowering to see her taking control of her own body, and when talking to the media is was wonderful to see her positive stance towards those women who did choose to wear makeup. She posted to twitter ‘Y’all, me choosing to be makeup free doesn’t mean I’m anti-makeup. Do you!’. Youtuber iiSuperwomanii or Lilly Singh this international women’s day started a campaign which harkend back to the suffragette movement, by calling to er subscribers and fellow women to toss their bras using the hashtag #BraToss. Many took part in this, and so it is clear that there is still the passion in women to rebel against the standards they are held up against. Again though, this is just a way for women to express how they choose to live their live. Just like Alicia Keys, Singh is not attempting to shame women but instead is hoping to help liberate them. I certainly believe that policing women’s bodies and telling them that their own decisions are oppressing them is not the future of feminism. I want to see women supporting and uplifting each other in a society which is comfortable with the female form and telling women that they can not do something is not going to achieve that. Some women want to wear makeup and others do not - leave marginalised bodies alone to their own free choice.
’ll admit it. I am an inner makeup package snob. I can’t help it. It started early. The first makeup brand I ever became interested in was Benefit Cosmetics. Their packaging is a 13 year olds dream, I mean for starters, their blusher ‘Dallas’ has an actual horse on it, prancing off into a perfectly pink sunset sky, and most importantly a girl on the back with her hair flowing like a Pantene adverts dream. Can you blame me for thinking that every time I popped a bit on my cheeks, there would be Zac Efron stood at my door (okay, well also on horseback). My 13 year old self then advanced her packaging snobbery, YSL, Dior, Charlotte Tilbury. Dior deals in silver metallic eyeshadow palettes presented in black velvet pouches. The packaging is hotter than imaginable. Yet, the product itself? Absolutely shite. No pigment, few colours and most of all, expensive.
“The packaging is hotter than imaginable. Yet, the product itself? Absolutely shite”
I know we often tend to associate cheaper brands with bad or more simple packaging, which in turn makes us have this preconception that the product won’t be that great either. But before you dismiss them completely, it’s important to do a bit of research before splashing out. For example, YSL company comes under the L’Oreal umbrella, meaning their products are made at the same factories, and most likely similar if not practically the same formulations. Actual sorcery. It shows that while the packaging might not be as heart-skipa-beat appealing, it still does exactly the same as what it says on the more glossier, shinier and sexier tin.
Products to try...
So, look no further. Let me tell you about the brands you’re missing out on due to their fairly shit *cough*, simple packaging.
1. Natural Collection – A definite throwback, but definitely a goodie. While their white and clear plastic packaging has not been updated, their products definitely have. My top picks would be their green colour collecting stick, their shimmery brown eyeshadow in the colour ‘Asteroid’ and their rose gold toned blush in ‘Rosey Glow’.
2. Miss Sporty – I’ve always looked at this brand in a fairly negative light, it’s packaging is either yellow, blue or hot pink. Yet, I’ve stumbled across two great products. Their ‘Mission Correction’ foundation is incredible for its cost. At £4 you get a foundation, concealer and highlighter all in one. They even have a ‘SoClear’ foundation which is said to fight and reduce skin perfections while you wear it? Sign me up!
3. Makeup Revolution – I’ll admit the packaging isn’t so bad. But it made me question them when I saw an eyeshadow palette named ‘Unicorns Unite’. The colours are deep purples, dark blues and greens, with some neutrals added in too. Despite my scepticism, I couldn’t help but pick this product up. It just looked so fun!
4. H&M – I think fashion stores makeup including New Look, Topshop and of course, H&M are so underrated. I chose H&M as it’s the most affordable yet also the most simply packaged. First thing, their nail varnishes. The bottles don’t do much talking but the colours definitely do – very similar to the more pricier Essie. The orange coloured ‘Lifejacket’ and peachy ‘Portofino’ screamed spring even in a frosty Newcastle! So, alas my fellow makeup snobs. I have seen the light. I shall leave you with the cheesy
20. arts
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
Arts Editors: Tamsin Daisy Rees and Jonathan Hastings Online Editor: Meg Holtom
Beauty and the beast and the gays
BOOK REVIEW: 1984
Scarlett Rowland looks into the problematic representation of the LGBTQI+ in Disney
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eorge Orwell’s 1984, released in 1947, is by far one of the best literary stories in publishing history. The book centres on one man, Winston Smith, and his life in a dystopian, right-wing world in which War is Peace and Division is Strength; taking place in a political dictatorship over Oceania. Orwell describes to us, through Winston’s frequents, what life would be like living in a world where every citizen fears for their lives as the ominous Big Brother looms over them; distrust between neighbours and even family members is not uncommon and poverty is rife; nobody is rich, safe or even remotely happy in the over-communist society which demands ignorance, obedience and most of all love of the Big Brother from everyone. Orwell’s use of language and ideas make even the most steadfast reader waver to the thought that what we believe to be real and the undoubted truth may actually be a fiction made up, in the words of Orwell himself – “If there is no history of it, did it exist at all?” The main character of the novel holds a steady but ultimately dissatisfying job at the Ministry of Truth where he erases undesirable documents, literature, or historical items, all in the aim to hide from the public whatever The Party believes Big Brother wants them not to see. Orwell’s fiction is based on the real circumstances Russia found themselves in during the rein of Stalin; a communist country in which poverty was everywhere but for party members and Stalin himself and censorship was so scarily abundant that people feared for their lives if they uttered a bad word about the ‘powers that be’.
“Orwell’s use of language and ideas make even the most steadfast reader waver”
The words and phrases Orwell used, not just in 1984 but also in Animal Farm have been reused by so many people in so many different ways; the book has inspired so many films and TV shows over the years including Equilibrium, V for Vendetta, The Matrix and even The Simpsons when Homer says ‘2+2=5’. This is probably the most illused phrases in all of history; people use it as an insult to someone who is thick insinuating they can’t even do simple math, when in fact Orwell actually wrote the phrase to assert the philosophical argument that even basic, logical arguments like simple maths can be doubted by people who live in a world where they fear that thinking contrary to Party beliefs will result in a black bag being put over their head, being tortured, and eventually killed. Orwell’s 1984 is worth the read, if not for the literary fictional story, for the powerful language and phrases used in it that can actually change your way of thinking entirely. Orwell truly was an inspirational literary genius. Kitty Marie
epresentation is vitally important for those who are a member of a minority, however the line between representation and creating a token character is very thin. In Disney’s live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast, it recently came to light that Gaston’s sidekick, LeFou, would be the first openly gay character to feature in a Disney film. This first portrayal could have been wonderful, but instead they relied upon the story of a gay man discovering his feelings for his straight best friend - making for a character we are tired of hearing about. For a company so keen to represent real society and which seems genuinely interested in diversity, Disney’s attempt in this film is sadly really quite poor - frustrating when usually, their ability to write films for children which broach difficult topics is wonderful. An recent example is Moana, which features a young Polynesian girl as the heroine – the release of which met the happy eyes of many such girls who now not only have an animated role model, but a real life version in the voice actress Auli’i Cravalho – a 16 year old from Kohala. Even the character chosen to be the token gay man is unfortunate. A cowardly sidekick to a
“LeFou’s villainous character is not one which is desired by the LGBTQ+ community, so his inclusion feels much like a half-baked attempt by Disney to queer bait an audience eager to support gay media”
pompous twat, LeFou’s villainous character is not one which is desired by the LGBTQ+ community, so his inclusion feels much like a half-baked attempt by Disney to queer bait an audience eager to support gay media. And as for the “exclusively gay moment”? This, too, is ill conceived. This scene portrays LeFou dancing with another man – but this man has been put into women’s clothing. It is so frustrating to see Disney relying on the outdated notion that effeminacy in men must mean homosexuality. The fact that this character never has even a brief moment of exposition, leaves Le Fou’s sexuality questionable. Forcing minorities into art for the sake of quiet-
ing the masses is just tossing a plaster on a gaping wound. With these uninfluential characters having a plot that leaves a lot to be desired in the way of substance or positive message, those wishing to see something of themselves become more and more disillusioned with mainstream media ultimately worsening the situation. The desire for better representation within Disney was made explicit with the hashtag about Frozen with fans hoping for the portrayal of a gay lead in its sequel, Frozen 2. So popular was the campaign for the lead character, Elsa, to be written as a lesbian that if you search #give , the first option is #GiveElsaAGirlfriend. This Twitter campaign backed by Elsa’s voice actress, Idina Menzel, was hugely popular and would have made for a wonderful first openly gay role model. Unfortunately, Disney failed in creating this in Beauty and the Beast - instead whacking in a poorly conceived subplot with an unimaginative theme. Whilst some wish to believe that any representation is good representation, the inclusion of this gay character is really just a joke. Le Fou is not the role model which the gay community crave. Better luck next time Disney.
Petra Szemán’s Spotlight
FINAL YEAR Fine Art Student
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he is working around the themes of localised fictions and non-localised identities. Her work is concerned with instances in which real life can be experienced as fictional. In her animations and drawings, she explores liminal spaces and threshold experiences with a fictional self that accidentally turned into a separate person. Petra probably thinks derealisation is great fun. She made a dress up game for herself to explore the idea of a constucted and curated self and subvert conventional self-portraiture by making it interactive - or maybe she just has too much free time. Sometimes she thinks about the parallel reality in which she never went to art school and became an astronaut, and finds that idea comforting. If she has all the memories and associated knowledge, it may as well be true. Website: petraszeman.com Zine shop: artnerdszinedistro.etsy.com If you would like to see more of her work you can also attend the Fine Art Degree Show on the 2-18 June.
The Courier
arts .21
Monday 20 March 2017
thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | Instagram: @CourierArts
Children’s book hype! Imagine Sophie Schneider on having tea with a tiger, racing snails and being BFFL’s with the BFG I t is now common knowledge that good books are imperative for developing a child’s creativity; in danger of sounding somewhere in between a Hallmark’s greeting card and a passive-aggressive child behaviour analyst, I believe that the books we read as children shape the way we use our creativity as adults.
“Quentin Blake’s illustrations are wonderful examples of shaping this tenuous link from a child’s warped imagination to reality”
Children’s books established a link between my absurd 7-year-old imagination, where time travel seemed entirely plausible, to the reality. It helped that my name ‘Sophie’ was used in many of the stories I read, as I could claim to legitimately have had tea with a tiger, raced snails in the potting shed, and been BFFLs with the BFG. Quentin Blake’s illustrations are wonderful examples of shaping this tenuous link from a child’s warped imagination to reality; the scribbly essence of drawings is extremely accessible and not unlike
our own scribbly, hazy, infant minds. I could write pages and pages of fan-girl letters about authors and illustrators who began my love affair with words, arts, and the science of language, but I will spare you and stick to appreciating one, Dr Seuss. Dr Seuss’s stories are a whole new level of absurd; not only does he tap into the absurdity of a child’s imagination, but his ludicrous plots and characters surpass the capacity of a child, with ‘nizzards’, ‘sneetches’ and ‘wockets’, which spin an entirely new web of ingenuity. There are some parents who (wrongly) claim that the made-up nonsensical language devised by Theodor Seuss Geisel is problematic to a child’s learning; that it’s confusing and would encourage them to use made-up words themselves. God forbid that a child engage with their own imagination! Inspired by both Seuss and Phoebe from Friends with her ‘falange’, I use made-up words all the time- it is, of course, the nature of language to spiral and develop incessantly. Much like J. K Rowling’s Hogwarts which created an entirely new realm for both children and adults, Geisel’s stories formed not only a new world that we can access, but an accessibility to language. His rhyming stories encouraged children who otherwise might be
reluctant to read (especially girls who don’t have an interest in pink princesses), to hum about the house loudly screeching ‘I do not like green eggs, I do not like them Sam-I-am!’. Geisel uses effective repetitive sounds to encourage kids to learn new words; his rhyming language patterns help create new long-term word memories, by using close rep-
“Geisel’s stories formed not only a new world that we can access, but an accessibility to language”
etitions and then gradually spacing out the words. I truly believe that the reason I study languages and love the theatre is because Seuss’s tall tales were so easy for me to perform at a young age, to tackle reading aloud an entire book to an audience. Dr Seuss’s stories continue to be relevant in my life. ‘Oh, the Places You’ll Go!’ is with me at university, and still applicable 15 years after I first was given it. My favourite line ‘You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So… get on your way’ is so wonderfully positive - and the perfect ego-boost after a night of regret.
Our Reviews
EXPOSING FORM: VANE GALLERY
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t the Vane opening night of “Exposing Form”, all I knew was that the allfemale exhibition was a celebration of varying female talents in Newcastle. Upon arriving, the wealth and diversity of skill was immediately evident; all bases were covered, from taxidermy to digital media and fashion design. Two artists in particular caught my eye. The work of Caitlin Heaney, a Fine Art student in her second year, was unmissable due to its juxtaposition with the very modern, digital techniques of other exhibits. In the form of miniature oil paintings, these classical images of posed subjects aimed to confront perceptions of, in her own words, “‘crude’ youth culture”. She mentions in her biography that she feels marginalised by both her gender
and her status as a student; well, these pieces serve as a challenge to those who stereotype her. Maturely created, the images take the idea of the inebriated student away from its usual context, and their lack of pretension is refreshing. Furthermore, there is a distinctly Titian honesty to her depiction of form, and this lack of objectification transforms an image which could be sexual to a more classical, innocent study in reality. An excellent way to challenge the male ideal of women as sexual objects is to be nonchalant when approaching the figure itself, a notion evident in Heaney’s frank portrayal of her subjects. The structured almost geometric, yet surprisingly delicate, creations of Helen McClafferty were also a highlight of the exhibition for me. This artist openly admits that her anxiety pushes her per-
fectionist approach to fashion designing, leading to wearable yet incredibly intricate examples of couture. What really interested me about this section of work was that one could not simply take a glance and move on; it took a few minutes for the eye to perceive hidden sculptural elements and inner layers of material which gave the items depth and really provoked thought. I stood in front of a ruffled, high-necked dress for a full five minutes, constantly noticing new aspects, such as a fine, sheet mesh attached underneath. This “science of fashion” approach was fascinating, and as she hoped, I could see visitors really studying the works and appreciating their complexity. Lauren Sneath
Is art really all that pretentious? Rosie Minney tears apart some common misconceptions about the value of art studies T he idea of the “tortured artist” is enough to rile up any languages student, mathematician or anyone who considers they take a “real subject.” Indeed, artists have been at the brunt of many jokes about the real value of their £9,000 a year degree to throw about paint – coupled of course with Geography students who probably colour in more than we do. Josh Teal wrote for Vice that “tosser” art students are the only people who can get away with “mustering up anything slightly bad that has happened to them” to get away with “whatever mediocre shit” they create.
“It illuminated a real sense of hope in the face of misogyny still very much present in the developed world”
Whilst this – as with any subject where people put in half the effort and twice the excuses – can be applicable, how dare anyone undermine the artwork borne out of personal tragedy or long-standing social injustice, just because it happens to be in the medium of paint or clay? Has anyone been as quick to judge the incredible film Get Out, written, produced and directed by Jordan Peele? Fighting against the myriad levels of racism, critic Richard Roeper gave the film 3.5/4 stars, commenting on how it “carved out its own creative path.” While this artwork takes on the more publically affirmed
form of filmmaking, what makes this personal response to racial prejudice any different from expression through paint?
“So however pretentious you may think art is, at least it isn’t confined to the elitist Westerners”
And it’s not as though art doesn’t play an integral role in socio-political protest. Rejecting the well-known and well-mocked axiom that “all art is useless,” Kristan Visbal this year on International Women’s Day - along with firm State Street Global Advisors - erected the statue Fearless Girl in front of the bull statue on Wall Street. It illuminated a real sense of hope in the face of misogyny still very much present in the developed world – a fact confirmed in interviews with passers-by, heart-warming clips of young girls standing proudly next to this bronze role model. Turn the clock back nearly forty years, and art
was playing a fundamental role in rights movements. The 1968 student and workers protests in France against the de Gaulle government employed the lithographic and silk-screen print facilities in art schools such as Ecole des Beaux-Arts to mass-produce prints and posters, bearing memorable slogans such as “Usines, Universites, Union” (Factories, Universities, Union). Thanks to the process of art, the country was able to unite creatively in the face of adversity, to put forward the message of the people. How can that be pretentious?
“Don’t underestimate the role of the arts. They’re your whole life”
This mass sharing of art has further effect on a global scale. The Internet has enabled artists across every medium from every nation to gain recognition worldwide. Even a decade ago, Art Papers’ writer Sylvie Fortain wrote that due to “much broader global distribution, it’s no longer just a European and American dialogue” in art. So however pretentious you may think art is, at least it isn’t confined to the elitist Westerners. And isn’t it amusing how those who do dismiss art as “pretentious”, these uninformed critics so quick to attack art as a waste of time and money, then go on to watch films, read comic books and go out to buy the newest clothes? Don’t underestimate the role of the arts. They’re your whole life.
SALTY COLUMN Bob Ross SCARLETT ROWLAND
B
oth Chill with Bob Ross and Beauty is Everywhere are some of the most recent additions to Netflix, and so the calming tones of Bob Ross’ voice have come back into the lives of many. For those unfortunate enough to have never had your soul blessed by this man, as soon as you have stopped reading this run to Netflix. Bob Ross was the host of a television show during the 1980s in which he would explain how to paint landscapes, his soothing voice and repetitive brush stokes relaxing a nation into happiness. Though his art may not have been particularly special, millions of people flocked to the programme for Ross’ optimistic view on the world.
“His soothing voice and repetitive brush stokes relaxing a nation into happiness” He cleverly crafted his persona with memorable catchphrases and his hair style – a permed afro. When thinking of Bob Ross, people imagine of him holding his palette with his trademark paints: titanium white, yellow ochre, and sap green. With his paints Ross sent a hugely positive message to his viewers, frequently remarking, ‘we don’t make mistakes just happy little accidents’. A contemporary take on his soft spoken videos, many ASMR artist reference Bob Ross, as their first experience of the strange phenomenon. If you have never heard of ASMR, it is basically that nice feeling you get when someone plays with your hair, and people make videos on YouTube to induce that sensation - so maybe check that out as well. In the stressful environment that we all live in with the combination of the current political climate, university deadlines and the access to the main quad on campus being blocked off, what is better than settling down for half an hour to watch the most relaxing man to have ever lived paint happy, little trees.
“With his paints Ross sent a hugely positive message to his viewers, frequently remarking, ‘we don’t make mistakes just happy little accidents’”
22. music
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
Music Editors: Sophie Ahmed, Serena Bhardwaj & Ben Grundy
Toon In
Jailhouse Rock: Top 5
Toby Bryant reviews Lucy Spraggan at our very own SU
Following Louis Tomlinson’s recent arrest for assault, Gerry Hart runs us through the Top 5 most shocking musician arrests, from Scandinavian stabbings to onstage stripping
W
alking into a packed Student Union venue last week, I wasn’t really sure what to expect from Lucy Spraggan. I remembered her from her X-Factor days. She was shockingly original for the mass, pop-star producing show and that was refreshing at the time. The songstress auditioned with her own song ‘Last Night’ about drunken antics and hangovers. It was funny, but catchy and cleverly put together. However, come Bootcamp, a heart-wrenching original track ‘Tea And Toast’ made it clear that Spraggan was not just a comic song writer. After a few live shows the singer was forced to pull out with an illness but has kept herself busy since then. Spraggan has released three full albums to date, I Hope You Don’t Mind Me Writing coming out earlier this year, and is the album the songwriter is currently touring. ‘Last Night’ and ‘Beer Fear’ do remain her most famous songs, going off Spotify plays, but there are a selection of songs also harvesting over a million streams on that platform. The former-X-factor contestant is herself, a spokesperson for the LGBT community having married wife Georgina Gordon last year. This is reflected in her fandom with the feeling of a large representation from the LGBT community present in the venue amongst a number of younger teenagers and middle-aged adults all enjoying the show. The singer had been on vocal rest during the day and it was clear that her vocal chords were struggling during the night. Nonetheless, she powered on and gave a really admirable performance in a situation where many artists would have simply cancelled.
“Lucy Spraggan really is quite phenomenal”
By far the most striking moment of the night had to be the track ‘Dear You’. It centres on the loss of an old-friend to suicide in which Spraggan keeps reaching out to help, to no answer. The song climaxes with the lyrics “I nearly dropped the phone and had tears in my eyes when she said, ‘you took your own life last July’”. These lines, delivered almost as spoken word, followed by a moment of silence had a stunning effect on the crowd. One that, in all the concerts I have seen, I had never experienced before. It wasn’t all sad throughout the night. The crowd’s chanting of successful single ‘Lighthouse’ to the drums before the track was euphoric as was the reception to ‘Loaded Gun’, off the new album, which Spraggan proudly introduced as being about going to the beach with her wife. ‘Freddos Aren’t 10p’ has a serious message on growing up but the quirky lyrics about “LOL”, “selfies” and, yes, Freddos not being 10p make the track more light-hearted. What the songwriter excels at more than anything is storytelling. ‘Mountains’ is about having the courage to chase dreams, ‘Uninspired’ talks of the lack of inspiration following her X-Factor stardom and ‘I Don’t Live There Anymore’ is about the struggle of moving on. The prologue to her, yet unreleased, ‘Blues Song’ about being heckled brought a round of raucous laughter to the room and the track was funny too. As an artist, Lucy Spraggan really is quite phenomenal. She might not be recording the music to make a huge impact on the charts, working on her own label, but her storytelling abilities are second to none (That said, I Hope You Don’t Mind Me Writing didn’t receive ANY radio play yet still charted at number 12). Her music is easy to listen to but, at the same time, carries a pertinent meaning. Spraggan’s live show may have been plagued by an illness but she battled on did independent artists proud.
5) Pussy Riot – Hooliganism, 2012: Prior to their arrest in 2012, few people outside Russia had heard of the punk group PUSSY RIOT. However that quickly changed during the trial of three of their members for hooliganism following a demonstration in Moscow’s Cathedral of Christ the Saviour in the wake of Vladimir Putin’s contentious re-election as Russian President. It was a defiant gesture against the increasingly conservative and authoritarian Russian government which makes it all the more galling they would play the victim by claiming the group acted out of “religious hatred”.
4) Michael Jackson – Child Abuse, 2005: I’ve tried to stay away from the more tawdry stories in this piece but there was no avoiding this one. For years, Michael Jackson had accrued something of a strange reputation, but his arrest for child abuse in 2003 still proved shocking. I myself remember the trial feeling almost omnipresent before the charges were dropped in 2005. Now I have no desire to comment on the actual veracity of the charges but in retrospect, the trial can be seen in the context of the King of Pop’s tragic downward spiral, culminating in his death in June 2009.
3) Varg Vikernes – Murder, 1993: Despite its niche appeal, the Norwegian Black Metal scene has become infamous and Varg Vikernes, sole member of BURZUM and former MAYHEM bassist, lay right at its centre. Through-
out the early ‘90s, the scene was dominated by Vikernes’s rivalry with its de facto leader Øystein Aarseth (aka Euronymous), a rivalry which came to a head in August 1993 when Vikernes stabbed Euron mous to death at his Oslo apartment. For this, and a series of church burnings, Vikernes was sentenced to 21 years in prison in 1994. Oh and to top it all off, Vikernes started identifying as a NeoNazi shortly after his imprisonment. Dickhead.
2) Jello Biafra – Obscenity, 1986:
certs and had a habit of taking laxatives before performances, subsequently turning them into a literal shitshow. Less amusing are the cases where he would physically and sexually assault members of his audience, all of which resulted in numerous arrests and charges. Nevertheless, Allin remained unrepentant, even appearing on Jerry Springer shortly before dying of a heroin overdose in 1993. So not someone you’ll be seeing at the O2 anytime soon.
Like PUSSY RIOT, Jello Biafra’s 1986 trial for obscenity was hugely significant. THE DEAD KENNEDYS frontman was arrested after a concerned parent complained about the inclusion of a H.R. Giger painting often referred to as “Penis Landscape” (it looks exactly like you imagine) in the artwork for the album Frankenchrist. Though the case was eventually dropped, its important to remember the context within which it occurred. It was at this time that the Parents Music Resource Centre under the leadership of Tipper Gore was lobbying for more stringent regulation of the music industry. Though they weren’t directly involved, Jello’s victory was a significant setback for the PMRC’s moral crusade.
1) GG Allin – Take your pick: To top this list off, allow me to introduce you to GG Allin. An extreme individualist, Allin believed Rock n’ Roll was becoming too commoditized and took it upon himself to ensure it stayed dangerous in some rather…colourful ways. For example, Allin would frequently strip naked during his con-
If you’re happy and you know it... Sam Blackburn investigates why we feel a little bit better after hearing our favourite tunes
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ne of the most beautiful lines of music I have ever heard in my entire life comes from the Rancid song Radio “When I’ve got the music, I’ve got a place to go”. A song about lead singer, Tim Armstrong’s youth and poor relationship with his Dad, although his struggle is hard to relate to, it is the message what we can all enjoy. It’s no surprise that many people find music can help with their wellbeing when times get tough, that’s why I intend to go over my personal experiences.
“Music has been something what’s kept me going through my life” Music is something I have always found a connection too from a young age and it has been with there through some of the hardest times in my life. I was 11 years old when I first truly felt like the odds were against me. My year six teacher was a savage bully to many people, but I was his biggest victim, trying to get me in trouble for things I hadn’t done. I’ve felt quite a lot of isolation, alienation and I
feel it is one of the greatest reasons why I’ve suffered with extremely bad anxiety and depression for so long now. Music has been something what’s kept me going through my life. The first time I found it to heal me was around the time my fascist teacher was constantly causing me bother.
“It’s no surprise that many people find music can help with their wellbeing when times get tough”
I remember listening to a song called “Not Enough” by a band called Our Lady Peace, a song I heard on a WWE montage of all things. It’s not the best song out there, but the chorus to this day has always offered me an important message. Every time I was made to feel bad by my teacher, I’d listen to this song. The lyrics “When they say you’re not that strong, you’re not that weak, it’s not your fault” have al-
ways stuck with me. I’ve always felt every time things haven’t went my way that the way the singer emotionally lets out these words, that it’s almost like he’s telling me I’m not as weak as I think. I’ve always been a bit of a lone wolf, and as much as I am happy that I am living my life the way I want to, I do feel quite lonely and isolated from the rest of the world. Music has reminded me that I am not the only ones. The reason why I have such a strong love for punk rock is because I’ve felt it is the voice for people like me. Bands like Social Distortion, Rancid and Screeching Weasel have always wrote songs what I telling stories about the outsiders of society.
“It’s almost like he’s telling me I’m not as weak as I think” A lot of the time I feel alien to the people around me, I can feel pretty awfully mentally, sometimes not even leaving the house for days. Punk rock gives me the strength to hold my head up high, my heart on my sleeve and to make sure I scream loud and clear that I matter to the world.
The Courier
music .23
Monday 20 March 2017
Divide A
s a self-confessed and shamelessly obsessed Ed Sheeran fanatic, this review was never going to be completely unbiased. I’m one of those annoying people who take pride in having been a fan “before everyone else” and in having followed good old Ed from ‘A-Team to the A-list. Perhaps the most wonderfully normal music star on the planet, Ed’s genuine, heartfelt melodies have captured the hearts of those in love and those craving it; and this new album is definitely no exception. Written during his year away from the spotlight, the record tells the tale of travelling, falling in love, and watching an old love slip away. ‘Barcelona’ is full of Spanish rhythm and enthusiasm; watch out in particular for the line “Just like they do it in the Mediterranean, spin you around me again and again” because it is sure to get you bopping.
“He may be mainstream but he’s up there for a reason”
Given his new, whirlwind romance, it was expected that at least a few of his new songs would pay homage to his current girlfriend. ‘Perfect’, ‘Hearts Don’t Break Around Here’ and ‘Shape of You’ don’t disappoint. The formers reduce even the most cold-hearted icicles to tears, and you just cannot help but dance as the first beats of ‘Shape of You’ blast through the upper floor of Soho. Ed Sheeran himself describes ‘Perfect’ as the best song he has written yet; and sad as it is, I am yet to avoid crying upon hearing the sincere, ardent love clearly evident in every word. On the other hand and perhaps a little bizarrely given his current loved-up status, songs like ‘Dive’ and ‘Save Myself ’ describe an anxiety that he is falling for someone who does not reciprocate it, and detail a need to save himself before gaining responsibility for someone else. ‘Dive’ in particular conveys real desperation. However, my favourite song on the album, despite its uncanny ability to make me sob like an injured child, is ‘Happier’.
by Ed Sheeran
Temples
Sleaford Mods
Sarah Stephenson talks about the impossibility of playing Techno at Club Trop and mesmerises us with the magic of Moodyman
I
guess something I’ve come to notice while writing these columns is that by the third section, the club nights that catch my eye are usually hosted in the same one or two venues. It’s something my friends and I started to realise during second year – that the times we decided to actually go out, we’d find ourselves gravitating towards the same clubs. Mostly because they were the nights we wanted to go to, partly due to a lack of a feasible alternative.
“Techno or house nights stick to certain spaces” They were also the clubs we felt safest dancing in, to an extent. It’s definitely a pattern that techno or house nights stick to certain spaces, but I’m interested in the ‘why’ of it. I suppose when you put it in visual terms, hosting a techno set at Club Trop or (as much as I am happy that it exists), Powerhouse even, seems kind of absurd. But maybe that’s the point -- for a genre of music to be associated with a space over time allows it to bring a source of comfort. But until other venues start to host nights that are of a similar strand to the ones I preview each week, I’ll keep to what I know, and like, and feel okay in recommending.
Different Creatures
Circa Waves
I
think there’s a reason why no other writer chose to review this album. That reason being; it’s not great. I’m willing to give all types of music ago as much as the next guy – or girl. But, this I just don’t get. To put it simply, it’s just annoying. I’m convinced that Sleaford Mods started out as some kind of piss take but for some unbeknown reason, a selection of young and naïve listeners decided to say they liked it to spite the rest of us and so they carried on making awful music for awful people. SM are described as representing an embittered exploration of austerity-era Britain, culture, and working class life. Kind of pretentious if you ask me. I like the whole sticking two fingers up to society but not everyone whose working class likes relentless shouting that drones on and on. The Libertines, Jamie T, even Oasis dare I say, are more relatable than the ‘punk’ provided by SM.
“relentless shouting that drones on and on ”
It does seem however, that the increasingly obvious use of electronic ornamentation allows the songs to be simpler and less unique as the decoration compensates for any lacking individuality. An example of this is the use of embellishment in ‘Mystery Of Pop’ which does seem to compensate for an otherwise quite ordinary song. Despite this, it is hard not to enjoy their latest release, who doesn’t enjoy some British electro-rock?
So I suppose I should talk about the new album English Tapas. It’s a bit hard to review a record that all sounds completely the same. Opening track, ‘Army Nights’ throws you into an initial (and false) sense of ‘oh ok this might be alright’. And then BAM, they try and horrendously fail to mimic Phil Daniels on Blur’s ‘Parklife’. The track ‘Dull’ says exactly what it does on the tin, so not much more to say about that one. Suprisingly, I actually kind of like the instruments; the bass is pretty funky on ‘Messy Anywhere’ in particular. I feel like I could get on board with this track, but they just seem to ruin everything when they start to sing, or speak, or shout – or whatever it is they’re doing. They turn it from enjoyable listening to a chore. One word to sum up this album? Headache.
Natasha Downie
Serena Bhardwaj
“dreamy and outer-space feel ”
Electronic Blanket
You need to listen to: ‘Why Do U Feel’ by Moodyman
English Tapas
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Lauren Sneath
Don’t be fooled by its spitefully cheery title; this ballad tells of watching a former love move on and even worse; that they are all the happier for it. Moving into more lighthearted territory, it is important to mention a new influence upon Ed’s music- his Irish roots. Songs like ‘Nancy Mulligan’ and ‘Galway Girl’ acknowledge his grandparents and their story, as well as providing the public with incredibly catchy hooks to bop along to in the car. In fact, family has always been a factor in his music, and this album retains that character with the song ‘Supermarket Flowers’ dedicated to his recently deceased grandmother (another one guaranteed to make you cry, by the way). A further tribute to his upbringing is ‘Castle on the Hill’- even the title references Framlingham Castle, a landmark near Ed Sheeran’s childhood home. To do this wonderful man justice I would need far more space, and large fanfare and a parade through Newcastle. However, due to budget cuts I’ve only been allowed words, and so I wipe away the tears leftover from my last run through of ‘Happier’ and prepare once again to dance my little heart out to ‘Bibia Be Ye Ye’ (yes, I have the album on repeat). He may be mainstream but he’s up there for a reason, and so as ‘What Do I Know?’ so rightly says, lets spread “love and understanding, positivity”.
Volcano
he Kettering quartet’s second studio album following the release of the acclaimed Sun Structures in 2014, Volcano is a collection of diverse and trance-inducing psychedelic rock tracks which are hard not to be enchanted by, despite the classic indie-rock influences which bear a strong resonance throughout the album. First track ‘Certainty’, with its use of synthesisers and gradually built up, layered introduction creates an empowering, dreamy and outer-space feel about it. The repetitive chorus and rhythms make it a catchy start to the album. ‘Strange Or Be Forgotten’, draws distinct similarities to Tame Impala’s Currents. Its rich harmonies and strong, repetitive chorus creates a transfixing, dreamy atmosphere and evokes natural images of mountains, skies and clouds, Unlike their debut album, Sun Structures, Volcano is much more experimental with the electro-techno sounds and focuses on a more simplistic melody in return for electronic decoration in order to captivate the listener. When compared to Sun Structures’ ‘The Golden Throne’, the progression with this experimentation becomes obvious and the move away from the classic indie-rock and focus towards electro-rock becomes apparent. This transition does represent their attempts to move towards a more unique and individualistic style.
thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk
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rior to the release of their second album, I’d regarded Circa Waves as one of Britain’s most mediocre Indie bands. The story of how the Liverpudlian fourpiece came to be is far from exciting; they just met through mutual friends at a festival. And there isn’t even a juicy explanation to their band name, as it was just the first phrase that popped into frontman Kieran Shudall’s head when he was uploading their first track to SoundCloud. There’s nothing overtly wrong with Circa Waves. They’re alright for a band who opened for The 1975, but then again, we shouldn’t judge a support band on their headliner. Their debut album Young Chasers actually boasts a 4.9 star rating on iTunes so some people must love them, and once again here I am writing a painfully subjective music review. I’ll try to be fairer in my analysis of Different Creatures.
“one of Britain’s most mediocre Indie bands”
Firstly, let’s not get carried away. This is my no means “the best record of all time” as the band have claimed, and that’s an objective truth. I will say, however, that the tracks on this album are more accomplished and a lot heavier than previous hollow Indie efforts like ‘Young Chasers’. Different Creatures captures the listener’s attention with a bang in the fittingly titled opener ‘Wake Up’. ‘Fire That Burns’ and ‘Goodbye’ both integrate intricate guitar work with a Rockier punch which permeates the whole record. Title track, ‘Different Creatures’ is one of the standout songs, with it’s layering of elaborate guitar patterns over a driving bass line. The subject matter of this track is mature, as it deplores the government’s decision to cap the number of Syrian refugees allowed in the country. One can’t help but appreciate the band’s compassion on this track, but I don’t really connect with any of the others. Not “the best record of time”, but by no means the worst. Sophie Ahmed
Kenny Dixon Junior (aka Moodymann) is a producer and DJ based in Detroit, mostly creating or mixing techno and house but it seems limiting to reduce him to these categories. I can only describe him as a sound magician. His single ‘Why Do U Feel’ was released in 2012 and has since been used in parties internationally. By this, I mean to say that I first heard ‘Why Do U Feel’ in somebody else’s living room one night a few summers ago, played through borrowed speakers. It stuck with me.
“It’s everything all at once” Moodymann’s releases have made him a household name despite not being played on radio or promoted even. The track begins with smooth organ chords and flicks abruptly between quick-tempo drum beats and guitar intervals. Soul-drenched vocals sing ‘why do you feel?’, hovering over everything. A steady kick drum is introduced and suddenly it begins to feel more conventional, more dance track. But before you can get comfortable, the layers start to peel off one by one until it’s just the voice and a hi-hat leading you into the belly of the beat. Around threequarters in, it’s everything all at once. There’s something extremely hopeful and euphoric about Moodymann’s releases that makes his music feel and sound like a secret (a good, necessary secret) that you have to dig a bit to uncover.
Preview: Opal Tapes x The Death of Rave @ The Old Police House, April 1st I haven’t been to the Old Police House yet but from what I’ve heard, it’s precisely what it suggests – a police-station-turned-club based in Gateshead. The night will be hosted by the labels Opal Tapes and The Death of Rave, featuring artists: Conor Thomas, Rian Treanor, Croww and Helm. I had only ever listened to Teesidebased Opal Tapes’ releases before, and associate their sound with the dark, industrial techno that usually comes out of analogue machines. The Death of Rave is led by Conor Thomas, a Manchester-based DJ. But for those who are unsure of what to expect, think Arca, Burial, or Aphex Twin’s Ambient Works but condensed into a night of avant-garde club music. It’s also a byob event, in case you’re into that. Go follow us on intagram for live gig updates, fun pictures and the latest music gossip-
24.television
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
TV Editors: Luke Acton, Alison Scurfield and Dominic Corrigan
Throwback
Ally Wilson takes us back to the CBBC favourite Raven
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et the challenge…begin. Ah, those immortal words echoing across a beautiful loch coming from the cavernous Scottish husk of Raven, whose typical tall, dark and handsome visage had every pre-pubescent girl swooning on an after school CBBC sesh. Complete with the allblack, feather clad cape and his imposing staff, he really was the picture of a mythical hero, in search of the “ultimate warrior” (aka, some kids in weird tunics with a cartoon drawing of an element of nature on them). Sure, they may look stupid and pretty much everything they say is scripted, but to be fair to the little blighters, almost every child in the country wanted to be on Raven, so even getting on the show is a reason to look beyond this.
“A tall bloke in a scary cloak chasing after you while you’re trying to figure out a riddle is pretty terrifying” In the first stages of the week, their names are replaced with Lord-of-the-Rings-esque gibberish which makes it all sounds a little bit more ancient and legend-y, and they are presented with their nine feathers-representing their nine chances to screw up before they’re out. The challenges themselves were essentially a residential school trip in year four, or a Go-Ape-type course, with a couple of “demons” (blokes in brown cloaks and hoods) thrown in. We’d be lying if we didn’t admit that we all used to sit thinking that we could definitely to a better job than “Kelpar” or “Vadah” were doing, crossing “Riddle’s Bridge” (a giant Scrabble in the middle of a forest), but the truth of the matter is that to a 12 year old kid, a tall bloke in a scary cloak chasing after you down a gorge while you’re trying to figure out a riddle being told to you by a golden face in a giant book is pretty terrifying. And it’s clear that there are times when James Mackenzie (Raven) is desperately trying to stop himself from laughing because someone behind the camera is definitely taking the piss out of his hair or the fact that he has to whisper to the camera between two tree trunks about the “dark forces that are besmirching these lands”. Despite this, it was always a bit emotional when one of the potential warriors left and had to do the shameful walk out of the ancient gates. Bless them.
“Raven was a multi-BAFTA award winning programme for a reason” However, if you remember nothing else from Raven, then surely you remember ‘The Way of the Warrior’- the final obstacle course for the last warrior standing which seemed absolutely impossible, and only a handful of warriors actually managed to complete it. A little bit like when Anakin and Padme get stuck in the droid-making factory in Attack of the Clones, they have to avoid getting crushed by maces or sliced by guillotines, and make it through the portal. Of course, they were probably just papier-mâché contraptions made by the director’s mum, and the amount of padding the kids used to wear meant even if they were smashed in the stomach with an axe, it would just tickle them. But ridiculous names and questionable acting aside, Raven was a multi-BAFTA award winning programme for a reason- it’s exciting, it’s challenging, it’s got the stunning beauty of the Scottish lochs as its backdrop, and for many, it represents the post-school adventure fix of a generation.
The white right-wing boycott Netflix
In reaction to a trailer for Dear White People, racists all over have called for a boycott of its platform, Netflix. Akvilė Baliulevičiūtė takes a looks into this frankly absurd event
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n the 8th of February, Netflix posted a date announcement clip for their new original series Dear White People on Youtube, which was based on Justin Simien’s 2014 film of the same name. The teaser was a thirty second clip in which the protagonist, played by Logan Browning, essentially tells white people to not wear blackface, then there is a cut to images of people at a party wearing blackface, African American people looking as though they are reacting to the image, and then there is a final cut to a clip from a party in which a central character from the original films knocks over a sound system. The video basically shows reenacted scenes from the original film, which leads to the conclusion that the series will follow similar storylines and characters as the original film. So how is it possible that people are so incensed about the release of this series that they see cancelling their Netflix subscription as a necessary act of principle? Predominantly white right-wing internet commentators have made claims that this short clip promotes ‘white genocide,’ and ‘racism’ against white people (the mere use of these terms shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what genocide and racism are and how they work). The backlash to this teaser trailer has been vast, echoing the outrage from right-wing groups towards the all-female Ghostbusters remake in the uneven ratio between likes and dislikes on their respective Youtube trailers. The main grounds that these people have for being outraged by the teaser for Dear White People is that they deem it ‘patronising’ that we are being told to not to wear black face, and also that blackface basically doesn’t happen anymore. One Youtube commentator even makes this point whilst wearing black face. Had they taken the time to read Jason Simien’s article, readily available on his Facebook page, they would have discovered that he was unsure about involving a black-themed party scene but was inspired to keep the idea when he read about a real life party that took place at UC San Diego, which they called a ‘Compton Cookout.’ So yes, blackface really does happen, as do racist events on campuses and even celebrities feel
that it is ok for them to do it.
“It seems comically clear that these people are not concerned with how race is presented in the clip or film, they’re just offended by the title and being told not to wear blackface by a black woman looking directly at the white viewer” The commentators have a lot to say about a very short clip, yet have clearly not taken time out of their day to watch the original film, which doesn’t essentialise by race but has a nuanced view of race identity and performativity, addressing these issues
in both black and white characters. It seems comically clear that these people are not concerned with how race is presented in the clip or film, they’re just offended by the title and being told not to wear blackface by a black woman looking directly at the white viewer. Right-wing commentators are offended without even listening to what the series and film are trying to say about race, they demand that the series be decommissioned and not released because they don’t want to listen to what people of colour have to say, which once again reinstates the fact that they make impassioned pleas for freedom of speech when bigots are disinvited from speaking at universities, but refuse to listen to people of colour when are finally given a platform to speak. Freedom of speech but only when it suits the conservative white supremacist ideology. The show will be streaming via Netflix on April 28th.
There has been no substantial decline in Netflix stock since the release of the trailer.
Politics: a place in entertainment? Grace Dean asks if political slants to our favourite entertainment shows are necessary
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l-Zaim (The Leader) was a 2013 Lebanese reality TV show with a twist. Similar to many other reality shows, the candidates were scrutinised by a judging panel and celebrity performances were aired as a leadin to the voting results as contestants battled through challenges to win a much-coveted prize. Where the show deviated from conventional reality shows, however, is that every aspect of the show was related to current political affairs, with the tasks including leading civil rights protests, exposing corruption and promoting social causes, with the winner ultimately being selected to run for parliament and their campaign expenses being covered. Whilst not all address the topic in such an explicit manner, TV shows are increasingly having a political undertone. From the gritty portrayal of life in a Yorkshire council estate in The Moorside to the dystopian reality portrayed in Black Mirror’s ‘The Waldo Moment’, screen-writers are increasingly using their TV shows to explore and even promote their political beliefs. However this arouses debate over whether even the most seemingly apolitical of TV shows should be allowed to promote their own critical agenda.
“The political undertone of many TV shows can be overwhelmind ” TV is an incredibly influential form of media; it dictates our daily routines, lifestyle habits and purchasing behaviour. As traditional forms of media such as newspapers decrease in popularity, especially among the younger generations, the TV is becoming a much greater source of information,
and this includes forming opinions on political matters. Most people have a limited exposure to opposing beliefs, as humans gravitate towards social spheres with homogenous beliefs, and therefore our political ideologies are often reinforced by our peers. TV shows, however, offer the opportunity for people to explore unfamiliar beliefs to them and thus serve as an educational tool. This is portrayed through almost every television show – from simple observations of current affairs newsreels on Gogglebox, to the aggressive political mocking in Family Guy. Guy. In addition there somewhat more intellectual debate sometimes raised on comedy panels shows such as Mock the Week and The Last Leg (including Jeremy Corbyn’s renowned guest appearance), which presents current affairs in a humorous light to make it more accessible to viewers. TV as a form of media can be seen to serve a variety of functions. For those who view TV as a pure entertainment function, the political undertone of many TV shows can be overwhelming; they regard TV shows as bringing them an alternate reality they can escape in, and the intrusion of political debate into these can be an unwelcome call
to reality. For others, however, TV can serve as an educational and information tool, in which people seek to broaden their perspectives on the world through confrontation with opposing viewpoints, be it directly or indirectly. While the example of AlZaim may be extreme, it is inevitable that it the future the TV will increasingly be utilised as a form of promoting political messages, although the extent to which this message influences the public is up to the viewer.
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television.25
Monday 20 March 2017
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Calling time on Gilmore Girls
A hidden gem: Les grandes Grandes Vacances TV editor Luke Acton takes you through the annals of Netflix’s foreign section to find this charming yet dark tale of children in the French Reisistance; is it worth a watch?
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his very pretty and very dark series of five episode is very tight story wise and well done in its writing and the performances of the voice actors. I watched it in the French with English subtitles because the English dub is bad (they always are). The animation is the same kind that the Studio Ghibli production, Ronja, The Robber’s Daughter uses, that semi-drawn-but-clearly-computeranimated type that is sometimes distracting and detracting from the work, but that isn’t the case here. The colour palette and style is like a ruralFrench Tintin, which works well especially as that will be pretty familiar to British viewers and make the nostalgia that the elderly voice over is trying to convey with the paired-down style. The strongest thing stylistically is the character design, which is subtle but without it would be nothing near as good. The style is not perfect and probably could have been better but it does do the job in the end. The kind of animating aimed at kids, low-budget but bright and not lazy lends itself to the nice effect that it has next to the darkness of the subject.
executed in the final episode. There is nuance with this seriousness. A German soldier, Otto, actively helps the children as part of the resistance, and is spared death and prison in recognition. It defies the us-and-them dynamic that would be easy to play to, but instead appeals to a lack of prejudice that is often evident in a younger audience.
“When [producers] do take these chances they can make better work, this is when there are stakes and reasons to invest in the story”
Producers and the people who commission programmes are often scared of making plots too dark or characters too complicated in children’s
TV. But when they do take these chances they can make better work, this is when there are stakes and reasons to invest in the story. This is why Young Justice has cultivated such a cult following (and has been brought back from cancellation for a third season) and is where Doctor Who lost its way (this and it trying too hard to be itself, the writers are too focused on making an episode of Doctor Who than good writing). Les grandes Grandes Vacances has elements of good YA fiction, it has a good, tight, characterdriven plot with a complexity that is genuine but not out of reach of its audience. I am grown-up but the things that children consume are important, and too often the people who make their media do not give them enough credit. I understand that you don’t want to go over their heads but they are not stupid. Speak in a language they can understand but do not falsely portray the world they live in.
“There is an elemnent of partiotism, but which is undercut by the brutalities of both sides: execution of hostages by Germans, execution of locals seen to be informing or fraternising”
Getting sketchy for Comic Relief
TV Editor Alison Scurfield takes a look back at classic comic relief moments from over the years, and gives us the scoop on what to expect from this year’s show on 24th March
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am such a fan of Gilmore Girls. It’s centred on a mother-daughter duo, the ensemble cast that supports them and their fairytale town called Stars Hollow. Netflix revived the show after it ended its original run in 2007. Four cinematic-like episodes, which received mixed reviews by fans and critics alike, updated viewers on how everyone in Stars Hollow was getting on in 2016. It left us with many unanswered questions and one almighty cliffhanger. Netflix claimed it was a success and plans to produce another series are underway, but in my opinion, somethings are better left as they are.
“Emily clearly had the best character arc; her bullshit rant and rejection of the upper-class trimmings that we have become so accustomed to seeing with her was refreshing”
It is a children’s show in that it is focused on the perspective and lives of children, but it doesn’t shy from the reality of the French evacuees, even in what could have easily been a very jingoistic image of liberation. There is an elemnent of partiotism, only to be undercut by the brutalities of both sides: execution of hostages by Germans, execution of locals seen to be informing or fraternising. The informant Durand, who is guilty of reporting one of the Jewish children for not wearing a star and getting the leader of the Resistance killed, but is still presented more as an inconvenience, is summarily
ince Lenny Henry and Richard Curtis set up the Comic Relief charity back in 1985, over £1 billion has been raised by the British public to help those in need both in Africa, as well as right here in the UK. From comedians to reality stars, as well as big Hollywood names, celebrities over the years have come together to ‘Do something funny for money’ as part of the bi-annual Comic Relief night of television held every March. In 2002, Sport Relief was brought in to replace Comic Relief every other year, with the world’s most famous sporting stars doing their bit for the charity. As well as the big television event, other smaller shows in the lead up to the main event have made us laugh over the years. In 2009, Let’s Dance for Comic Relief was introduced, seeing celebritys take on dances from iconic music videos and performances, dressed as the singers who originally performed them. Over the five years this s h o w aired, viewers saw Keith
Yay or nay to Gilmore Girls? Sian Dickie gives us the lowdown
Lemon and Paddy McGuinness’ take on Dirty Dancing, Rufus Hound as Cheryl Cole, Eastenders’ Laurie Brett and Tameka Empson as Lady Gaga and Beyonce from the ‘Telephone’ video, and, unforgetably, Robert Webb’s Flashdance. Each week, viewers voted for their favourite act to go through to the live final, with another act each week being voted through by a panel of celebrity judges. After a four-year hiatus, it was announced last year that the show would return for 2017, this time, though, as Let’s Sing and Dance for Comic Relief. In week one, Rickie Haywood Williams and Melvin Odoom won the public vote, with their Will Smith mashup. It was then decided by comedy judges Katherine Ryan, Jo Brand and Frank Skinner that Sara Pascoe would also be joining them in the final on 25th March, following her rendition of Sia’s ‘Chandelier’, wig and all. In week two, the Chasers took on a Wizard of
Oz medley, which saw them through to the final, and the cast of Casualty and Holby City were saved by the judges’ vote. The final week of heats will see Gogglebox’s Steph and Dom as Meatloaf and Cher, and The One Show taking on Gaga’s ‘Born this Way. The BBC’s decision to bring back this show was a welcome one, as I for one have certainly missed watching celebrities making a fool of themselves all in the name of charity. Throughout this series, viewers have had tasters of what is to come on the big event on Friday 24th March, as it appears to be returning to the classic sketch format we all know and love. Over the years, the likes of French and Saunders, Gavin and Stacey, Absolutely Fabulous, Ricky Gervais and soapstars have all made us laugh for a great cause. It’s nice to see a return to this style of comedy, and with news of a Love Actually sequal and the return of 00’s sketch group Smack the Pony, this year is set to be t h e b est one yet.
One aspect I did like about the revival was that Lorelai finally got a happy ending. Not only did she make peace with her tyrant of a mother Emily but also, her marriage to Luke was perfect. The original series was pretty rough for Lorelai. Her rollercoaster of a relationship with Luke was always something I was rooting for and the fact that she had never really changed since her original incarnation was definitely comforting to viewers. Rory was the biggest let down. If they are going to make another full series, they need to sort this character out. Once Stars Hollow’s ‘golden child,’ Rory as a 32 year old woman is conceited, inconsiderate and nothing like the smart bookworm that the fans grew to love. She drags a perfectly nice guy along for two years called Paul, who she is forgetting about all the time. A running gag in the revival if you can even call it that. She’s sleeping with Logan, an ex of her’s who is engaged, a lesson that she learned in the original series with boyfriend Dean. She is also completely unaware of Jess’s feelings for her, poor Jess.
“All things considered, I don’t think they should create another series” Emily clearly had the best character arc; her bullshit rant and rejection of the upper class trimmings that we have become so accustomed to seeing with her was refreshing. After a huge online debate between fans on whether Melissa McCarthy was going to return, it was lovely to see her back as the lovable chef Sookie, even if it was for five minutes and her scene did seem a bit like a token. One thing which definitely changed the narrative was the death of the actor Edward Hermann, who played Rory’s grandfather, Richard Gilmore. It was particularly emotional when they placed some old footage into the scene where Rory was entering his study, he did leave a gap in the show, con-sidering he was one of the few male characters. All things considered I don’t think they should create another series. I do wish I hadn’t seen the revival, especially after the last four words which made the narrative far too circular. It seems obvious now to viewers that Rory is basically reflecting Lorelai’s life. Although this may give them material to write more shows, it isn’t original and I don’t think they will be the standard from the 2000’s era, unless they can repair the damage from the revival.
26.television
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
TV Editors: Luke Acton, Alison Scurfield and Dominic Corrigan
The Royal Television Society Programme Awards
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he RTS was established in 1927 as a sort of fan club and pooling of resources for this new medium called ‘television’. At its founding the BBC hadn’t been founded yet, and wouldn’t broadcast for another nine years. It wasn’t a place for actors or storytellers of any kind, it was for the engineers, who pooled their knowledge at society meetings. Some of the earliest records of the development the medium comes from this society. The shift to what it is today, with directors, producers and actors taking the lion’s share of membership didn’t start to happen until the 60s and 70s. This is where the Society became an open forum for discussion rather than a closed space for members with a single goal. The nominees were announced this past Tuesday (the 7th), each trying to meet the criteria for the show: ‘The RTS Awards seek to recognise programmes which, in the year in question, have made a material and positive contribution to their genre: either because their originality in form or content has in some way moved the genre on, or perhaps created a new genre; or because their quality has set standards which other programme-makers can learn from and emulate.
These criteria of originality, creative risk-taking and standard-setting quality apply to the performance as well.’ The winners of 2016 included Anthony Hopkins and Reggie Yates, as well as Michaela Coel for her Break-out Performance in Chewing Gum. These are more obscure and less prestigious but in this are very specific in their criteria and far less influenced by interior or exterior politics or PR. One of the things that you know it from is the ‘Channel of the Year’ title that is given out (this year between BBC One, BBC Three and Channel 4, and the channel that wins gets to put ‘Channel of the Year’ at the bottom of their title cards. I guess it’s about who is doing the best and has the most initiative in terms of pushing to see what they can do rather than something subjective like who best represents the zeitgeist. That’s the wheelhouse of the RTS Journalism awards rather than these Programme Awards. It’s fiction only from here. These are the RTS Programme awards and they’re going to be announced the day after this newspaper come out so you won’t have to wait to see if your/our faves win or not.
Best Presenter
The nominees of David Attenborough, Richard Ayoade and Grayson Perry show range in male performances. Luke Acton is here to discuss the nominees and asks the question on everybody’s lips: Where are the women?
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ttenborough should win, he’s the only thing that anyone should be comfortable calling a ‘national treasure’. That Planet Earth 2 wasn’t nominated is travesty enough. Richard Ayoade is good but Planet Earth 2 was the best thing since its last season. This is not the programme Attenborough was nominated for, however in the cases of all their nominees their reputations as wider bodies of work are inseparable from individual performances (in my opinion rightly). Richard Ayoade seems good but the more we tolerate his bookish nerd shtick the less engaging it’ll get. The Travel Man episodes are good, but they apply to a very niche market, a sort of comfortable Europe-loving middle class attitude to travel. A question of miscasting hangs over the series, he truly enjoyable when it’s him and a mate but it was a very odd thing to do. He is a bankable name in Britain so his casting makes sense there but not to do with content. As said, it’s difficult to extract him from the rest of his work, which is better because they’re just better concepts. Whether he deserves to win because of that is questionable in the shadow of Attenborough. Grayson Perry has this problem uniquely because of his place as an artist, and one who looms large in the British artistic consciousness. Parts of his exhibition in Margate were enjoyable while he suffers from some distinctly third-wave feminist problems. His show in terms of the general premise of ‘men explore modern masculinity’ is good in that the face of it is a distinctly un-normative image of a man at the front of it. It can be done well
and it’s good it was done by him rather than fucking Ross Kemp or someone of his kind. What is striking about all of the nominees is that they’re very different performances and so not very comparable. It seems very arbitrary and what’s worse, all-male. Grayson does something to alleviate this but it doesn’t get over the fact that there is no representation for over half the population. The viewership of terrestrial British television, with ore online the relevance of what is on TV as a live broadcast is only going to diminish, especially as the younger generations just don’t buy TVs. Rewatching the IT Crowd, you think: this was the zenith of broadcast television in both quality and viewership. These awards and the institutions and talent they celebrate are going to have to move (something they have in fact started to do in their nomination of the now all-online BBC Three for Channel of the Year). What is worrying is Attenborough’s age, this is not jinxing it, it is a fact that he is old and he is a treasure and that he must be rewarded while he is still around. It is on this, and his reputation, his wider work and even any individual work that you look at that he should win.
Best Entertainment Performance Nominees in this category are The Last Leg,, Ant and Dec and Romesh Ranganathan
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he category of entertainment performance puts the spotlight on the best comedy entertainment hosts of the year. Despite starting life as a comic relief commentating on the Paralympics, The Last Leg has truly found its own leg to stand on, so to speak, as an alternative to the current roster of topical comedic panel shows. Whereas others can sometimes leave the audience cringing with their uninspiring selection of celebrity guests and hosts who try just a little too hard to be funny, Adam Hills, Alex Brooker and Josh Widdecombe bounce off each other so well that additional guests aren’t actually needed, although they are often well-matched to the style of the show. After breaking headlines with Jeremy Corbyn’s guest appearance back in June, The Last Leg has continued from strength to strength, and manages to find humour in the everyday whilst also addressing current affairs in a refreshing and balanced manner. The audience participation nature
of the show through the use of #isitok has made it increasingly relevant to the viewer. Topical, witty and sometimes bordering on offensive – The Last Leg is a highlight of modern British comedy, and one that we hope will continue to grace our living rooms for years to come. The second nominee comes in the shape of Newcastle’s very own TV favourites, Ant & Dec. Nominated for their roles in I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec’s careers keep going from strength to strength. Despite the dramatic fall in reality TV popularity in recent years, thanks to the rise of streaming and platforms such as Netflix and Amazon Prime, I’m a Celebrity has managed to keep pulling in viewers. 12.7 million people tuned in to watch the opening episode, the third highest total ever, over 5 million more than Simon Cowell’s X Factor managed on opening the night. When the show ended, an impressive 10.5 million watched as Gogglebox’s Scarlett Moffatt
was crowned Queen of the Jungle, the highest tally for the show since 2013. Much of the reality show’s content was repetitive to similar to years but Ant & Dec’s stage presence, humour and slick style really carried the show. The duo refuse to give up their hallowed screen presence, despite being on the box since 1989, and look to be firm favourites to take home the award. Finally, stand-up comic Romesh Ranganathan is nominated for his show, Asian Provocateur: Mum’s American Dream. The show saw Romesh’s mum (who is almost as famous as him now thanks to these shows, much to his dismay) on a jaunt around various locations in America. In a real family affair, the pair travelled to Florida, Colorado, among others to visit various members of the Ranganathan family. Competition is tight as all nominees are worthy winners.
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Monday 20 March 2017
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Channel of the Year
Between the BBC One, Channel 4 and BBC Three, the field is wide, and the inclusion of a now all-online service is a sign of the changing medium. Luke Acton explores
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his category is a weird concept, not based on zeitgeist representing but a loose focus on progression and performance of concepts that they produce. The finalists are BBC One, BBC Three (which is encouraging because it is now an all-online service, a sign of the times) and Channel 4. It is upsetting that the channel bringing back Robot Wars (BBC Two) isn’t a finalist this year because that show is like something that would be made in the world of Running Man. ITV and Channel 5 aren’t even ever contenders. It increasingly feels like good ideas a talent are moving away from broadcasting towards all On-demand modes. These awards are looking at who is best trying to buck that trend. Doing this is important in the face of the pseudo-monopoly that Sky Atlantic has on US-made television (which isn’t even a great business model because no one PAYS to watch them). With Murdoch’s open hatred for the BBC, there is a cause for every decent person to keep it going, even if it is to fuck with the magnate. The BBC is changing a lot which is good because it should 100% exist. iPlayer as service deserves more praise than it gets through its taking of the BBC into the modern
modes of consumption. The iPlayer model could really be marketed to older people once smart TVs are the norm. Old people who don’t want to use computers to watch stuff so it is important for them in terms of their connection to wider society. BBC One is the favourite because it is just so central to people’s viewing lives. A lot of BBC shows feel like a public service, but there are a few things they make which don’t. Taboo, which is just tom hardy doing Victorian shit and grunting is definitely not wholesome but is fine television. BBC One should be applauded for managing to do pretty much every kind of TV. It has a particular kind of quality that isn’t to do with its value but a kind of Britishness that’s definitely an interplay of being from and contributing to that concept. The way bit-part actors all sound the same, the way emotionally resonant scenes are handled, BBC shows seem engineered so that anyone of most post-adolescent age groups could discuss them. It is television for the people, but at the same time its shows feel very informed by the wants and needs of a distant generation. Its feeling of sameness is symptomatic of the bureaucracy and that fact that it’s is run by older people - it would be interesting
to see what would happen if the production teams were a tad younger. BBC isn’t prolific enough to be ‘Channel of the Year’, it should exist but it is not central enough. Channel 4’s output is a rotating set of presenters making ‘hard-hitting’ documentaries (Reggie Yates won best presenter in 2016 for his work in Russia). Channel 4’s constant almost semi-VICElike search for controversy is at times useful and at others weird and unhelpful. To this generation their version of controversial is a bit quaint. It’s basically just body stuff that is not very *shocking* in relation to young people’s experiences of their body. People still find it interesting because it isn’t their business and that’s fine but it feels that this isn’t Channel 4’s intention (what is interesting is how much E4’s brand has stayed the same since its inception). Their proposed ‘Wank Week’ in 2007 is an amazing example and it is tragic that people wouldn’t even watch it before trying to get it taken off the air. A feeling says that Channel 4 should win, while BBC one is a great standard Channel has the manoeuvrability to actually become progressive for a change.
Comedy selections This is no laughing matter, TV editor Alison Scurfield rounds-up the choicest of the comics and comedy shows nominated for awards this year
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his year, comedy has landed itself not one, but three categories in the RTS awards. In Comedy Performace, nominees are Asim Chowdry for People Just Do Nothing; Nothing Steve Coogan for Alan Partridge’s Scissored Isle and Sharon Horgan and Rob Delaney for Catastrophe. In Scripted Comedy, People Just Do Nothing and Catastrophe have scooped a second nomination, with The Windsors joining them as the third nominee. Finally, for Comedy Writer, Stefan Golaszewski is up for Mum, Graham Lineham, Sharon Horgan, Helen Linehan and Holly Walsh for Motherland and Phoebe Waller-Bridge for Fleabag. Horgan and Delaney’s Catastrophe is very well deserving of it’s two nominations, as now in it’s third series, the show is stronger than ever. There is nothing more disapointing than a comedy that can’t stand the test of time, but Catastrophe just keeps getting better and better. Centered around a couple who decide to give it a go and form a relationship after a one night stand leads to pregnancy, the show explores the realities of modern families and, of course, hilarity ensues. Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag was one of the BBC’s most successful sitcoms last year. Following a young woman as she tries to balance work,
family life and a love life, with the overhanging guilt surrouning the recent fate of her best friend and collegue, Fleabag is adapted from WallerBridge’s stage play of the same name, which she debuted at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2013. Steve Coogan’s Alan Partidge’s Scissored Isle for Sky Atlantic saw Coogan’s comedy alter-ego exploring the existence of the north/south divide in the UK. It’s been a great year for comedy and these nominations well-reflect that. Alison Scurfield
Who’s missing? TV editor Dominic Corrigan finds us the talent that should be lauded, but has sadly avoided the spotlight
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he Royal Television Society awards are upon us, and trawling through the nominations is an interesting process. Of course, there’s a mix of exactly what you would expect, pleasant surprises and probably a lot of things that you’ve never heard of or just aren’t interested in. As wide and inclusive as the television awards are, of course there will be things that slip under the radar. For example, Dave Gorman’s Modern Life is Goodish is, in my opinion, one of the best shows on TV right now. Of course, that’s completely subjective, but with Dave show Taskmaster running in the entertainment category, I feel that it should have been a contender. In a way, the show feels too small to be on the radar of the Royal Television Society. In contrast, however, some of the actors nominated this year are not that well-known – that’s not to say that they are any less deserving of an award because of this, but a lot of notable talents have been missed out (and some are up against show-
biz powerhouses such as Julie Walters and Robbie Coltrane). Sure, there’s only six slots overall, three male and three female, but as there are so many actors, perhaps the actors (like the shows) should have their own specialised categories – for example, best soap actors, best comedy actors etc. The same goes for writing, as many things are written and do deserve an award, but do not get a mention here. Perhaps the biggest shock is that Coronation Street, for the first time ever, was not nominated in the soap category. Despite being one of the most iconic shows on British television, the drama was snubbed this year. Coronation Street has had a rocky year, with many newspapers detailing varying crises throughout the year. However, the show has had some high impact storylines with strong writing and very dramatic moments, as well as the regular comic highlights that differentiate from any other soap – it just would not be correct to say that this has been Coronation Street’s weakest year
ever. I, personally, was disappointed but not surprised to see that The Musketeers was not up for an award. The show was very entertaining, and it would have been fitting to see it win an award, especially when the final season was its best yet. I know a show ending is not a reason to give an award to a show, but The Musketeers has always been underrated. Sherlock,, likewise, has also been snubbed. Same goes for reality shows. Though I imagine that they would come under the banner of entertainment, not one has been nominated. While it could be argued that none are deserving of an award (but who doesn’t love Celebs Go Dating?), it feels to me more that this is another failing of the Royal Television Society’s range of categories – a wider range would accommodate a larger number of people. Overall, the Royal Television Society has a good mix of nominees, yet some big names are very notably absent.
28.filmfeatures
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
Film Editors: Emma Allsopp, Zoë Godden & Simon Ramshaw
Rated F for strong female role models A progressive, helpful feature has come to IMDb: the ‘F’ rating. Tom Atkinson takes us through just what this means - both for the website itself, and for women in the industry
T Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) It’s Episode V for Column 2, but Kitty Marie turns our attention to Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Is it a whale of a time or does it boldly go where many men have gone before?
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f all the original Star Trek motion pictures, the fourth instalment is by far the best: a stupendous blend of sci-fi, comedy and drama. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home has it all. Instead of traversing around in a disc-shaped spaceship in the future, the crew find themselves hauled into present day, or our past if you want to be pedantic as the film was released in 1986, in search of some whales. Yes, this film has the second strangest plot-line you could ever read, short of Rubber (2010) (seriously read the plot-line for Rubber; the crew were pretty whacked-out). The crew find themselves stranded in 1986 in search of a pair of the aforementioned sea creatures to take back to the future to mate and save the universe from an alien probe searching for whale life only to find they are extinct. So, normal everyday life for Kirk and Spock here; ‘go somewhere and examine what they’re doing and don’t get involved’ actually means ‘go there, don’t just watch but get really involved to the point where you’re near death’.
“Any film with time-travel to the 80s is always a winner”
There are undoubtedly many Trekkie fans out there who are pleading for a Voyage Home remake but the fact is folks this would be near impossible; the original has more original points than you could shake a whale-seeking probe at. Number 4 is by far better than number one because it actually goes somewhere in a proverbial hurry; number one was only really for the rock-solid Trekkie fans. It had a great plot-line on paper – the crew are pulled into the unknown void that has always been spoken of for the entire series in the 60s and 70s and find themselves closer to all the mysteries of the universe, including the knowledge of God’s existence – but in watching the film is slow and has more dialogue than action and not a very good balance of the two either. Four has just the right consistency of dialogue, action and suspense, all mixed in with the best future-past humour ever. The best part for me was the discovery of an old computer by Scottie and Dr McCoy – “a keyboard, how quaint” after thinking the mouse was a radio.
he Internet Movie Database (IMDb) has introduced a new ‘F-rating’ to help indicate those films which have a larger proportion of women working on their production. The scheme was first proposed by Holly Tarquini – the director of the Bath Film Festival – as a way of increasing awareness of which films are more inclusive in their production. Tarquini said (to an unattributed source) that “The F-rating is intended to make people talk about the representation of women on and off screen.” So far, according to the Independent, IMDb have awarded 21,800 films an F-rating. The rating can be applied based on three criteria: the film is directed by a woman, written by a woman or features significant women on screen in their own right. Films awarded currently include Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Moana and The Girl on the Train. According to Tarquini, “[their] real goal is to reach the stage when the F-rating is redundant because 50% of the stories we see on screen are told by and about […] women.”
“Love stories sell, but the women will be talking about men, so unfortunately appear dependent on them”
I believe that the award – presently – is useful. It is accepted that Hollywood and the wider industry is shambolically diversity-poor. Representation of women lags behind other industries in almost every way. Production staff are predominantly male, stories are predominantly male-oriented and female parts frequently adopt a lower standing compared with male parts. In the latter, this could be attributed to commercial pressure. Love stories sell well. There’s a well-worn plot cliché of ‘boy-
“Encouragement is needed for all to get into film production, and this rating may help”
with different sexualities and/or sexual expressions all need to be included – especially if someone belongs to more than one of those groups. If it is true that life imitates art then by making art inclusive we can hope, perhaps, the images of inclusivity will rub off on the population and help make the world a little more tolerable for oppressed and underrepresented groups of people.
Tarquini’s drive to get 50% representation does jar with me a little, however. By imposing quotas we run the risk of introducing discrimination in the pursuit of removing it. It will only serve to ruffle the feathers of those opposed to the mission, and hurt the ability of people to feel free in their creative pursuits. Rather than imposing a quota, perhaps we should focus on enlightenment – showing people why they should care and what benefits they can reap if they sow the seeds. I think the rating could go further, as currently Fifty Shades of Grey and Fifty Shades Darker are tagged with it. It’s widely acknowledged that these films are hardly shining beacons of equality. Frankly, they outwardly appear to oppose equality as they present and normalise an abusive relationship. Additionally, whilst the rating does a good job of starting the discussion, in isolation it cannot solve the problem. Encouragement is needed for all to get into film production – be they acting, writing, directing, producing or simply working behind the camera. Also, the rating addresses one subset of a greater issue, the lack of diversity of all kinds in the industry. People of different genders and none, disabled people, people of colour, ethnic and religious minorities and people
Donald vs Arnold: Trumpment Day
In the wild world of Twitter, the two biggest personalities in the Republican Party had an epic smackdown. Joe Holloran gives us the goss on this magnificently petty argument
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witter feuds. A common part of modern life. Who doesn’t love reading J.K Rowling digitally bitch-slapping Piers Morgan during the down time between ISIS atrocities and Buzzfeed quizzes? Twitter is a space where private spats are lived out for all to see. Like a refined (to 140 characters) version of The Jeremy Kyle Show. That, like many other things, changed with the coming of “Fascist, loofa-faced shit-gibbon” (Democratic senator Daylin Leach on Twitter, 7th Feb. 2017) known as Donald J. Trump. To recite the full list of ‘The Donald’s’ Twitter foes would require more time, words and sanity than I can give. They range from Rosie O’Donnell, Stephen Colbert, Alec Baldwin, Zeus, Aladdin and the concept of object permanence. The most recent spat instigated by the PRESIDENT OF THE U.S.A (yep, still real) is with his Celebrity Apprentice replacement, action hero and the ‘Governator’ himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Why can’t they just get along? Both are famous, rich, white, male Republican politicians with droves of fans hanging on their every (sometimes incomprehensible) word. It all began back in July when, during the annual Republican National Convention when Schwarzenegger (despite heavy pressure from the RNC establishment) refused to endorse Trump. ‘The Donald’ was apparently very displeased with this apparent show of disloyalty, but held his tongue (for a change).
“Trump’s ego is so bloated that he can’t help but criticise something that will bring him in money. Sad.”
Along with this, the film is the source of the iconic image of Captain Kirk and Spock on what looks to be an American tramline from the 80s. That was what sold the film for me; any film with time-travel to the 80s is always a winner.
meets-girl’, something which at first glance may appear to be reasonably inclusive. However, most of the time the women will be talking about men, and so are dependent on men.
The subject never went completely away but re-entered the mainstream news recently when Trump, during the National Prayer Breakfast, asked the gathered congregation to pray for Schwarzenegger’s ratings. Not Syria, not the poor or ill. Not even the US in general. Just for better Celebrity Apprentice ratings. It fell to the former governor to call out Trump for his actions re-
leasing a video on Facebook proposing that they swap jobs so “Then people can sleep comfortably again”. Remember, Trump not only signed off on his own replacement, he also remains an executive-producer of the show. So the man’s ego is so bloated that he can’t help but criticise something which will bring him in money. Sad.
“Schwarzenegger’s legacy as a movie icon is secured, no matter what success he may have on Celebrity Apprentice”
It didn’t stop there, Trump then took to Twitter again after the premier of the first episode of the new season to say “Wow, the ratings are in and Arnold got swamped (or destroyed) by comparison to the ratings machine DJT.” DJT. Really. Sounds like the shittest MC in the world, and who writes with as many brackets as this? (A dick, that’s who). Schwarzenegger responded brilliantly with “I wish you the best of luck
and I hope you work for ALL the American people as aggressively as you worked for your ratings”. Burn. It is important to not forget, however, that during his tenure as Governor of California (2003-2011) the staunch-conservative Schwarzenegger was embroiled in numerous controversies, including a secret second-family, nearly crashing the Californian economy after the 2008 crash as the Nunez scandal. Since leaving The Celebrity Apprentice, Schwarzenegger has announced his return to the movie-biz and currently has six movies in various stages of production. He will turn 70 in July and one has to wonder for how much longer he can continue to portray the tough-guys that made him famous. Regardless, Schwarzenegger’s legacy as a movie icon and action superstar is secured. Donald Trump’s legacy will be discussed and determined by the survivors of ‘The Great C a t a c l y s m’ in-between fending off nuclear-mutated hipsters.
The Courier
reviewsfilm.29
Monday 20 March 2017
thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Film
Kong: Skull Island (12A)
Golden Oldies Presents...
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ong: Skull Island tries, and I can’t fault it for that. It wants to be a monster film with heart, a war film with natural carnage, a science film with action. It ends up being an awkward mixture of all three, a tonally inconsistent mess that feels severely rushed even at two hours of runtime. Unlike Peter Jackson’s 2005 attempt to reboot Kong, which couldn’t have played the adaptation straighter with a Xerox machine, Kong: Skull Island advances its story to 1973, in the wake of the American retreat from Vietnam. The eponymous island is now the focus of a scientific expedition, a search for megafauna by a scientist team flanked by U.S. Marines. There’s space for dozens of unique story opportunities here: but what we get is a weird mixture of the 2005 reboot, Apocalypse Now and Jurassic Park III. The cast is directly composed of references to the three, and the mixture doesn’t entirely work. A swarthy male and sensitive female lead appealing to Kong’s emotions, soldiers ripped wholesale from Coppola’s Vietnam, a barrage of businessmen and corrupt scientists who exist to be killed in satisfying ways. When it wants to be Apocalypse Now, the soldiers are heroic badasses; the very next scene they’re awful murderers. It’s hard to figure out who to root for and who to despise when the characters flip-flop between roles so quickly. You could say that this is the film showing off the moral ambiguity of man compared to nature: but
Certain Women (12A)
John Waters’
any actual debate is choked by one of the decade’s most laughable scripts. Open-side helicopters fly through thunderstorms yet leave their occupants completely dry, their hair in perfect order. John C. Reilly’s airman speaks perfect English after living for twenty-eight years in a village of mutes. A giant monster regurgitates the skull of a missing soldier, complete with sparkling clean dog tags, directly into the lap of the people searching for him. It’s stupid convenience at its finest, and impossible to take seriously: even Samuel L. Jackson and Tom Hiddleston’s performances are dubious once the real action gets going. If you’re capable of looking past that, however, it’s possible to have a lot of fun with Kong: Skull Island. It’s visually stunning and well-choreographed from beginning to end, effortlessly darting between lavish military bases and a gorgeous Skull Island. The creatures are generally well designed too, even if the main monsters, the serpentine Skull Crawl-
ers, look more adorable than intimidating. The fight scenes are brilliant: special mention goes to a frantic fight against a giant daddy-long-legs in a bamboo grove. The best part of the visual design is easily Kong himself. His raw size produces fabulously dramatic partial shots and screen-filling close-ups: he has never looked as terrifying as he does in silhouette, blocking out the sunset. Kong: Skull Island can’t escape the beast it is. No amount of pretension in the excuse plot will divorce it from what the 1933 original was: an absolute visual treat first and foremost. Come to it for the violence, because it pulls it off with aplomb, a good omen for the oncoming MonsterVerse franchise. This is a Kong I want to see fight again. More like this: Godzilla (2014) Alex Ridley
Viceroy’s House (12A)
The Love Witch (15)
Pink Flamingos Throughout March, the Tyneside Cinema is celebrating John Waters, the outrageous director who turned bad taste into an art form. Sophie Schneider braces herself to view his most iconic work, the grotesque Pink Flamingos.
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gnoring advice from worried looking friends, I decided to go into this film completely unaware of what I was about to see. No IMDB reviews, no wiki search: the only thing I knew before seeing it up close and personal, was that the 1970’s famous drag queen Divine eats some actual dog shit. Shit that you see directly exiting the arsehole of a dog, into her mouth. You might have thought that this snippet of information would have prepared me for what I saw, but I don’t think anything could. The only other information I had, was that my Spanish friend had advised me that ‘someone makes music out of their butt’; I’d had a sweet naïve image of a Family Guy cartoon where a friendly bottom toots an amusing tune - alas, it’s a close-up shot of an actual butthole, flexing as if it were a muscle-man.
“There were four times throughout the film when I had to resist the urge to throw-up”
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t’s weirdly difficult to try to think of whole sentences to describe this film, rather than just words. Delicate/Hygge-esque/Warm when your cheeks are cold (not a word, I know, but too short and too pretentious to be a real sentence)/ Anything with cinnamon and raison. It’s based on a collection of stories, which have been adapted well - they’re not obnoxiously and fatalistically drawn together in some huge dramatic denouement, or tacky ‘omg we’re all connected’ moment. The two lawyers in parallel stories didn’t even know each other which was great. You never guess what is coming, partly because nothing really comes, save an uber-satisfied feeling. As it was based on a collection of stories the strict palette/aesthetic did not become annoying. The orangey tones verging on a sepia affect felt like a writer’s style, working to connect the stories, rather than over-zealous production (which it was, but it worked). Another thing I enjoyed was that it was a film about (admittedly entirely white) women but was neither centred around romance, nor pointedly feminist. It was just women being women in the varied capacities that it is possible to be a woman. Which was hugely fucking refreshing. Turns out we have things to do other than drool over men or eat ice cream talking about men or be gay because it’s totally revoloutionary and obviously the only reason why we wouldn’t be talking about men or burning our bras because we hate men. Groundbreaking right! (Turns out depressingly so) This film also helped to re-affirm my love for Kristen Stewart. My perception of her has always been a more balanced one than most, having never seen the Twilight films. But once again (I direct you to Still Alice and The Runaways) she is great. Her performance and that of Lily Gladstone (who stole the whole thing) remarkably overshadowed Laura Dern and Michelle Williams. Overall great film. Watch if you like not much happening and well-made stuff. More like this: Welcome to the Rileys (2010) Helena Buchanan
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t tells you a lot of the target viewership of this film that I was probably the only one in the auditorium who wasn’t alive when India gained independence and was subsequent Partitioned. Partition is an extremely difficult topic to broach and, if I’m honest, one of those stars is just for Gurinder Chadha’s courage to make this film. 1 million killed during Partition. People massacred simply for worshipping a different god. A lot has been forcefully forgotten. The faults of the film reside in the first half. Gillian Anderson’s accent is so over-the-top, it sounds like a pastiche of received pronunciation. I think the film does a disservice to women. Famous male figures from the history of the subcontinent like Lord Mountbatten, Jawarharlal Nehru, Muhammad Ali Jinnah and Mahatma Gandhi discuss issues round a table. Yet when Lady Mountbatten expresses a concern or emotion, the reaction ‘A woman with an opinion! How sweet of her!’ A lot of the films desired effect was therefore lost due to this condescension. Nehru and Jinnah are also painted as bickering children, not respected statesmen with legitimate concerns. The scripting and acting between love interests Jeet and Aalia was weak and unconvincing until later into the film. The fetishisation of Indian culture is still plain to be seen. Is it just to draw a western audience in or what? Yet the film does do itself justice in its latter stages. People’s respect for Gandhi is well documented. The absurdity of the fact these huge decisions are made by a bunch of white men, some of whom have never been to India, is well covered. When people must choose allegiance between India and Pakistan, you really get a sense of how Partition divided a single nation. The inclusion of archive footage of unrest really brought history alive too. Weak in some places, respectful in others. This is an ambitious but flawed film trying to communicate one of the most turbulent events in modern history. More like this: Partition (2007) Calum Trenaman
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think if I had any idea what The Love Witch was parodying, I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more. But I’m assuming everything of the variety has been lost in time for being utterly shit. At moments you genuinely believe you’re watching a contemporary sequel to The Stepford Wives. And then suddenly a BMW X5 appears and the illusion is clumsily shattered. I would really love to know why Anna Biller wanted the entire misen-scene to be 70s inspired, other than the cars on the road. Written and directed by Anna Biller, The Love Witch is hands down the weirdest film I’ve seen in years. Inspired by pulp novels of the 70s, and the colourful cinema that dominated the screen at the time, The Love Witch tells the story of Elaine, a modern day witch looking for love. There’s a big focus on the fact she’s not an evil witch, despite the fact she seems to be responsible for the death of so many around her, and the community she lives in is bizarrely aware but only vaguely unaccepting of her occult ways. I understand that all of this is meant to be a homage back to times been and gone, but I have to put my hands up and say I just didn’t get it. I was in stitches at the parody of 70s cinematic conversation, especially between Elaine and other female characters. Awkward exchanges about used tampons and how to ‘get your man back’ make you think ‘Thank God’ for feminism or just any development in cinematic stock characters. So the film was funny, but as someone who doesn’t understand the genre, I didn’t see how a two hour parody of a type of film we’d long said goodbye to was necessary, or enjoyable for the whole running time. It felt like a 45 minute skit gone on too long, resurrecting everything we should be proud to have left behind in film.
More like this: Witchcraft (1964) Rachel Baker
The film follows Divine, ‘the filthiest person alive’, living under the name of Babs with her son (who’s partial to a bit of bestiality), her eggobsessed mother and friend Cookie. The couple are desperately trying to claim to be the filthiest people alive, and do some pretty disgusting things in their attempts. There were probably four times throughout the film when I had to resist the urge to throw-up; once when a messy sex/rape/bestiality scene involved both a live (although later, dead) chicken and some disturbing voyeurism; another was mainly because I think eggs are gross, especially when smeared on top of the breasts of the grandmother, Edith Massey (eggs are a motif in Waters’ third classic).
I left the cinema half pissing myself laughing, half feeling as if I’d been inwardly groped and violated by the cast. My feeling of discomfort may be a result of my prudish nature, or because director John Waters, better known as the Prince of Puke/ Rapscallion of Repulsion, with a budget of $12,000 created a film which incorporates rape, murder, necrophilia, bestiality, cannibalism, masochism and sadism all in highly explicit real-life quality. People left the New York Elgin Theatre in 1973 when it was first released, in a sort of disturbed state, staggering around unable to un-see what had just been seen. It was declared illegal in Hicksville, Long Island and interestingly Switzerland for decades (the Swiss just can’t hack the notorious dog shit scene), and to be honest I don’t blame them. As fabulous and obscene Pink Flamingos is, I won’t rush to put my stomach through it again.
30.gaming
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
Gaming Editors: Jordan Oloman, Errol Kerr and Jared Moore
Twethics: Game Stream
Credit: Twitch
Errol Kerr takes a look into the ethics of livestreams, game sales and corporate empires
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s the age of videogame LetsPlays and livestreaming only expands further and further, Twitch has built itself a sturdy little empire focused wholly on the livestream. Gamers have flocked to it to watch playthroughs of new or unreleased games, console exclusives, or just anything remotely exciting. However, the Twitch empire seeks to expand its monopoly not only will it stream games, but it’s now going to sell them. Currently, the streaming service, which is owned by Amazon - to the surprise of literally nobody, sells its own merchandise and offers its own version of Amazon Prime - imaginatively called Twitch Prime - which provides ad-free streaming and free add-on content to the service. Twitch’s newest endeavour would see them selling games, with the publishers and developers receiving 70% of the sales - which is similar to other game retailers, and Twitch itself will take 25%. What is most intriguing however is that you will be able to purchase games from selected streaming channels, and that streamer will receive 5% of the profits of any sale of this game. This in turn means that purchasing directly from a developer or publisher’s Twitch page means that they’ll receive 75% of the profits rather than 70%.
“From here on in, there’s the possibility that any selected streamers will, instead of merely playing through a game, be working towards actively selling these games ”
Naturally, this poses a lot of questions, mostly, the ethical nature of this final point. From here on in, there’s the possibility that any selected streamers will, instead of merely playing through a game, be working towards actively selling these games. This can definitely impact on the reliability and credibility of a channel, and could possibly lead to streamers over-exaggerating the games that they play in order to rack up more sales, or possibly move streamers across to play only a handful of games which sell well, resulting in other games performing worse. At this point in time, several developers and publishers have signed deals with Twitch; with the likes of Ubisoft, Telltale Games, Hi-Rez Studios, Digital Extremes and Trion World in the mix. Because of this, publishers and developers who are not involved could be missing out on sales - and whilst Blizzard, EA, Activision, Sega, Bungie and the like are likely to still maintain decent sales, they’re likely to start jumping on the bandwagon as soon as positive results are seen in regards to sales numbers. I hate to say it, but it’s possible that this is the uncomfortable future of gaming sales - overexaggerated games, deals with Amazon’s streaming service, and gamers like ourselves purchasing games that don’t live up to overhyped expectations, with Amazon, publishers and streamers raking in the profit. Then again, this isn’t really any different from what was experienced back in the days where gaming magazines were the first place we’d read about games, get hyped and pick up some of the best - and worst - experiences of our gaming lifetimes. The real questions I have are will the community lead Twitch to focus on certain games, or will Twitch move the community to purchase certain games? How long will it be until Amazon literally own the world, and we end up in some kind of corporate dystopia? Or, more realistically, does Twitch really think that its endeavour into selling videogames can topple, or even remotely compete with, the sales giant that is Steam? Only time and capitalism will tell...
Review:
Michael Hicks travels into the future to fight robots for the moon
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he poorly-reviewed cult classic trope doesn’t really apply to games. Unlike with films, music and books, most games that review poorly never find much in the way of attention or success, instead being resigned to bargain bins and eventually fading away into obscurity. Nier is a very rare exception to the rule. Nier made a poor first impression to critics and gamers at large. The combat was clunky, the game ugly and glitchy, the grinding for items needed to progress and the weird fishing minigame. Ain’t nobody got time for that. But for many, Nier became one of the most unforgettable games of the last console generation. Nier is the most famous work of Taro Yoko (of E3 2015 creepy moon-face fame). Even amongst game developers, Taro is an odd duck. A man who dislikes the game industry at large and presents himself in a way akin to the most bizarre of auteur indie devs, but heads a major studio at Square Enix. Taro has developed a small, but very dedicated, fan following. His stories are dark, deeply introspective, insane and usually very depressing. His characters are usually detestable people, representing some
trope that Taro personally dislikes (such as the protagonists of the Hack and Slash Drakengard being deluded psychopaths and enjoy cutting down the waves upon waves of enemies the game throws at you). Word of mouth slowly, but surely, spread about Nier. It’s dark tale of a grizzly father wishing to save his ailing daughter from an incurable disease (three years before The Last of Us did it). I personally couldn’t get behind Nier. I couldn’t get over the clunkiness and the grind to stick it through. The sequel, Nier Automata, has me completely hooked. The main reason for this is the involvement of Platinum Games (the studio behind the much loved Bayonetta series and Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance). The gameplay has been handed over to the modern maestros of action games, while Taro was left in charge of the story, which is kind of a match made in heaven. Nier Automata takes place millennia in the future. Automata stars two gothic androids, 2B and 9S, who are pawns in the endless war between machines (set by a hostile alien force to wipe out humans and colonise Earth) and the last vestiges of humanity, stranded on the
moon. The story only gets weirder from there, much weirder. We find that the machines have started emulating humanity, leading to weird scenes such as encountering a twisted cult of robots locked in a crisis of faith, to a group of tribalesque droids in a coliseum of sand-swallowed skyscrapers pantomiming sex acts, repeatedly screaming “LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.” And that’s only the tip of this iceberg. Automata plays like a dream. The combat is typical Platinum. Mixtures of light and heavy attacks, with different types of weapons, stringing together to make very satisfying combos. While it’s not quite their A game that they brought to the aforementioned Bayonetta and Metal Gear Rising, they didn’t take place in a Metroidvania-esque open world, so I can forgive it not being quite as good. The soundtrack is amazing, with its unique mix of big orchestral tracks, slow vocal songs and bass-driven techno boss themes. To top it off, the performance it stunning, holding a pretty solid 60 frames a second on my PS4 Pro. Nier Automata is shaping up to be the most captivating games I’ve played in ages.
Credit: Square Enix
Indie Insight: Gunpoint
Jack Coles hacks into the mainframe for some indie espionage
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unpoint. That is a word that evokes many images in the world of gaming. Most of these involve shooting a large amount of hostile entities for whatever reason, using a variety of powerful weapons. Gunpoint isn’t like that. Imagine, if you would, the ant-farm view of the base in XCOM Enemy Unknown. Then, imagine that you are controlling a single man; freelance spy and hat fancier Richard Conway. Now imagine that you can rewire the doors or lights to be activated by a light switch, or a heat sensor, or an enemy’s gun. Then, throw in a mission-based system that is punctuated by some of the best text screens you will ever encounter. Finally, push it through a film noir filter, complete with an understated jazzy soundtrack. That is Gunpoint. The premise of Gunpoint is that a man with a fedora kills someone, and you are implicated in the murder because you have a fedora too! You then have to delete a load of security footage that could incriminate you, and later re-upload it in such a way that you do not incriminate yourself again. You’ll also be doing side-jobs for
Credit: Suspicious Developments
two corporate CEOs with highly questionable motives, because this is a cyberpunk-esque game after all. Having a cyberpunk game without an anti-corporate message would be like having a Che Guevara T-shirt without a person with a poor understanding of Marxism wearing it. The name of the game in Gunpoint is, surprisingly enough, stealth. Enemies can kill you with a single shot, so the best way to survive is to not be seen. You’ll also need to hack various electronics to grant access through doors using a “hacking mode” screen (which probably inspired Invisible Inc.). There are a multitude of extra things that you can try to achieve; no noise, or no (living) witnesses, hacking all the optional laptops in hardto-access areas, or completing the level as fast as possible. Where the game really shines is during the parts where you’re not playing the game. This isn’t a stab at the gameplay (which is smooth and solid, like a good poo), but an admission that the writing in this game is some of the best I’ve ever read. I don’t wish to spoil some of its great moments, so I won’t. Just trust me when I say that it’s Undertale-level
but without the rabid fanbase. The game does have its downsides. The biggest one is that, despite the game actually being called “Gunpoint”, you can’t even afford a gun until the mid/late game. And even buying a gun is a tenuous proposition at best, as firing a gun will bring in reinforcements, and the pacifist uses of the gun are not as useful as many other upgrades you can get. The autosave method is hard to get your head around, and often results in you reloading a save that was created mere nanoseconds before you were shot. Don’t let that dissuade you from playing the game, though, as these are all just petty niggles in an otherwise great game, like a romantic partner that would be perfect for you if they could stop burping during mealtimes. Unless that’s your thing, in which case more power to you. But that’s it. Gunpoint. 7 paragraphs, 526 words, 2964 characters. I might have murdered more similes than I actually created. Oh well, one thing’s for sure. I need 10cc’s of ketamine and a Columbo marathon. Publish to the Courier? [Y/N] (That was a Gunpoint reference. I don’t really watch Columbo.)
The Courier
gaming.31
Monday 20 March 2017
What I’m Playing: Stellaris
Gerry Hart enters into socratic intergalactic diplomatic negotiations
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know its customary to start these things with some sort of witty quip but I’d like to get serious for a minute. When it comes to aliens have you ever thought about how human-centric our narratives concerning them often are? Even when they’re not cast as some sort of existential threat to our species any narrative concerning them serves to reinforce our own sense of self-importance and exceptionalism. No I’ve not taken to the danker things in life. But still, playing Stellaris has got me feeling contemplative as of late. Stellaris is a grand strategy game released by Paradox Interactive in March of last year. However unlike most Paradox titles, Stellaris has eschewed a historical setting for the far future, where politics is played out on a galactic scale. And whilst many of the trappings of Paradox strategy games such as intricate government systems and beautifully written story events remain, Stellaris also borrows heavily from Sid Meyer. The initial stages of Stellaris are very reminiscent of Civ 5, with the player starting isolated and alone, prompting them to explore nearby star systems for habitable planets and resources before encountering other alien
races whom you must negotiate with or around. Even the diplomacy and technology interfaces operate in a similar manner. But what I find most fascinating about Stellaris is how it constructs its world and the philosophy underpinning it. Like I said in the beginning, most sci-fi tends to place mankind at the centre of its narrative yet through its gameplay, Stellaris deconstructs any notion of exceptionalism. No matter who you play as, it is made very apparent that you are just one of many competing galactic empires and whether you sink or swim hinges entirely on your own skill. And because Stellaris is mechanically a mashup of Civ and Paradox games, the game essentially boils down to a merciless rush for resources like minerals, habitable planets and even pre-space faring cultures, with things like the precursor civilisation events serving as a constant reminder for the consequence of failure. Granted you can form Federations with other empires but these aren’t bastions of harmonious unity like in Mass Effect or Star Trek so much as a sort of Entente Cordiale in space, acting as a convenient alliance to further the interests of like-minded
powers. Speaking of federations, why doesn’t anyone want me in theirs? They’ll let those creepy, genocidal spider people in but not me? Fine, screw you guys I’m gonna start my own Federation with the Fungus people next door. However Stellaris does have its flaws. Like many Paradox games it relies heavily on RNG which can dick you over in terms of planet placement and blocking you off from the game’s more interesting story events. In fact some aspects of the game such as the Federations (which are a key aspect of diplomacy) are pretty incomplete. In short, it’s a Paradox game, intelligent, imaginative and likely to improve dramatically with future patches and expansions such as the upcoming “Utopia” expansion but currently stands rather threadbare and a little bit broken. But despite its shortcomings I still believe Stellaris is a good game. I’ve not even begun to scratch the surface of what the game has to offer, like the utterly breath-taking visual design or the in-game anomalies and endgame crises. It’s a fascinating, daunting and contemplative experience and I love it.
thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming
Top 5: Non-Playable Characters Ollie Burton examines the zany world of game inabitants 5: Tingle Kooloo Limpah! With the release of Link’s latest outing, Breath of the Wild, it seems wholly appropriate to give this greasy manchild the attention he deserves. First gracing our screens in Majora’s Mask seventeen years ago, he’s actually a skilled cartographer and will part with them for a rupee or thirty. He seeks to become a forest fairy, hence the green costume. He’s even received a few spinoff titles of his own, including a Japanonly Wizard of Oz themed title with dating sim elements called Color Changing Tingle’s Love Balloon Trip. Make of that what you will.
4: GLaDOS Congratulations! The test is now over. GLaDOS has perhaps been most visible in the press as a floating, megalomaniacal overseer of the Aperture Science testing facility, delighting in torturing the hapless Chell with demeaning and irreverent antagonism. During the events of Portal 2, she has her personality uploaded to a potato battery after your erstwhile companion Wheatley takes over her position. Not that that makes her remarks any less pointed, mind you, although she does take an uncharacteristically futile view of the world.
3: King of all Cosmos
Credit: Paradox Interactive
Breath Of The Wild: Letters From Hyrule The Courier Gaming writers discuss their historic Hylian escapades
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here was a certain awe in my mind as I left the Shrine of Resurrection and gazed across the Great Plateau for the first time. The sheer size of the open world is amazing, and throughout Breath of the Wild, the variety and beauty of the terrain is something to behold. You never encounter two places quite the same, and there really is no end to the possibilities of what you can accomplish. After completing the trials of the Plateau and finally acquiring a paraglider from the mysterious Old Man, I flew down into the plains and began to fulfil my dream of taming a horse. I found a small herd and selected my steed from among them – not realising that the plain coloured ones are the hardest to tame – and promptly spent approximately three hours chasing it around the open world, trying to leap on its back and make it my own. I don’t think I’ll forget all the bruises to my face from being hoofed for a while. Steed acquired, I began to traverse the vast lands of Hyrule. I’m still there today, gathering my strength to defeat the greatest evil. Did I yet mention that no matter where you turn, there are always new enemies and rewards lying in wait? Using whatever weapons you can find and acquire as rewards, you take on all manners of fiends, from the goofy Bokoblins, fierce Moblins, annoying bats and… bees? Yeah, mind those.
Georgina Howlett
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reath of the Wild is truly something to behold. In my short ventures I’ve managed to conquer one of the four ‘divine beasts’ and clear a ton of shrines, but these aren’t the moments that I remember most fondly. Zelda excels in its downtime. Genius design choices that lead you down a path to finding incredible loot, and the wondrous, minimalist accompanying score that lets you know that this title is very much a pastiche of everything that came before. I can only feel like I’ve scratched the surface on this version of Hyrule, and every time I stop playing and feel like there’s nothing Aionuma could’ve done to surprise me I’m shocked by a new enemy, or I stumble across a new piece of clothing hidden in a forgotten labyrinth. Finding out that the hot springs restore your health on Death Mountain, taming Zelda’s fabled horse to get the Royal Bridle, or even just spearing a Bokoblin in slow motion, all of these moments are still present in my mind. Breath of The Wild is built from the ground up to make you and your friends talk about it when you put down the console, and I’ve had tons of fun sharing secrets and discovering hidden stories in this vast, beautiful world. From my humble pants-adjacent beginnings to my adolescent axel rose cosplay, leading into my fully upgraded Zora armor, every footstep has been an adventure and I can’t wait to take a few more.
Jordan Oloman
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’ll be upfront: Breath of the Wild is a game changer in the most literal sense of the phrase. It’s already apparent that this is the new standard future Zeldas and Zelda imitators will aspire to, replacing the ocarina-shaped measuring stick to which all successors are held. Let me tell you about my time with it. The first thing I did, having emerged from Link’s subterranean time prison, was try and get to grips with the controls and as such immediately launched my only weapon off a cliff. Part of this was just teething with the interface, but equally I was disorientated by how goddamn stunning the view before me was. Wide open rolling plains, distant mountain ranges, forests rippling in the breeze – all of it spoke of the promise of wonder and exploration that has always made Zelda great, and here finds by far its best incarnation. What also stands out to me, incredible vistas aside, is how open and creative the gameplay allows you to be with problem solving. Thus far, I’ve defeated enemies by sneakily disarming them before attacking, by rolling explosives downhill into their camps, by baiting their archers into sniping them for me, and much more than I have space to list. Breath of the Wild stands aside and sometimes even above Bethesda or CD Projekt Red in terms of open world depth. This, pure and simple, is the James McCoull new timesink.
Credit: Nintendo
If you’ve never played the Katamari series, it basically involves rolling objects up into progressively larger balls. The reason you might want to spend a lifetime ball-handling is that your father, the King of all Cosmos has knocked each and every star from the sky during a heavy drinking spree. He speaks in incredibly bizarre non-sequiturs, alongside constantly referring to himself as ‘we’. He’s certainly one of the most vibrant NPCs to grace our screens, and might spontaneously vomit a rainbow on you.
2: Dogen Tim Schafer’s Psychonauts universe is full of zany and grotesque characters, so you have plenty of choice for fantastic NPCs. My pick is the one and only Dogen, tinfoil hat-clad resident of Whispering Rock psychic summer camp. He’s easily scared, and often subject to bullying by the other campers. Dogen also has a pathological fear of squirrels, claiming that they lie to him and trying to use his powers to explode them as a result. As it happens, they were communicating the villain’s true identity to him all along, but that won’t stop the rain of squirrel bits.
1: Claptrap HEY! It’s impossible not to avoid the piercing tones of this metallic pest. Relentlessly optimistic and always ready to offer ‘advice’, the claptrap units are as inherently useless as they are omnipresent. Unfortunately no matter how much I tried, peppering him with bullets served fruitless. Claptrap gets his comeuppance in the Robot’s Revolution DLC, piloting a monstrous weapons platform from which to enslave and/or eradicate humanity.
Credit: Namco, Valve
32. science&technology
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
Science Editors: Ciara Ritson-Courtney, Matthew Byrne & Natalie Farmer
On this day
A cure for the common cold
March 25th 1668 Jack Coles hedges his bets Jack Coles dons his medical gloves to investigate a new scientific discovery for colds olds are nothing new. Everybody has the virus cannot enter the cell. The virus is stuck or respiratory syncytial viruses… all of which and looks into the science had one at one stage, unless they have outside, vulnerable to immune system attack. don’t respond to Pleconaril. The drug also doesn’t just been born, in which case enjoy it work on the rhinovirus C species, which has a of gambling and the first while it lasts. Economic costs due to loss of “Pleconaril is not life-saving. differently-structured protein coat. Even the susproductivity due to colds eclipse $40,000,000 ceptible rhinovirus species can quickly evolve a American horse race It will stop you from
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n the 1660s, the USA was still under British rule, and had spent most of the 1650s under Oliver Cromwell’s rule. Cromwell had banned horse racing (as he was a Puritan, and therefore boring), but when Charles II came to the throne in 1660 he quickly un-banned it. As a result, the New York colonists held a race in Long Island in an effort to showcase new breeds of American horses, such as the Narragansett Pacer. And where you have races, you have gambling. Commercialised gambling has never been a level playing field, with the person running the scheme finding workarounds to turn the odds in their favour. My favourite example is a “game” where you get three goes to roll a dice and get a six. If you get a six, I give you £5; if you don’t, you give me £5. Sounds fair, right? It isn’t. Probability works in strange ways. The mark usually thinks that the odds are ¹/6 + ¹/6 + ¹/6 = ³/6 = ¹/2, which is a 50/50 chance. However, this is incorrect, as this method doesn’t account for the fact that you may roll forever and never get a six. That’s unlikely, but it could still happen. The correct equation is more complex: 1 – (5/6)³, which comes out to be 9¹/216 or just 42.1%. Not a fair game at all. Casinos are rife with these inequalities; they have to be, otherwise they’d just lose money. They are, however, more fair than the above game, as they run large-scale operations, so they can afford to let people win 49% of the time; with enough customers, the probability difference can net them a lot of money. Take roulette wheels as an example. The European
“Commercialised gambling has never been a level playing field, with the person running the scheme finding workarounds to turn the odds in their favour”
roulette has 37 numbers (0-36), while the American roulette adds the extra 00 cell. The numbers are organised so that no odd number is adjacent to another odd number, and clustering of numbers of a similar value is minimised. The one quirk that makes the roulette wheel unfair is the 0 and 00 cells. If a ball falls in these, the house takes all. Without these cells, I could place a bet on the ball landing on red and have a 50% chance of doubling my money, and a 50% chance of losing it. With a European roulette, this decreases to 48.6% vs 51.3%, and an American roulette reduces this to 47.4% vs 52.6%. Blackjack is another casino game that carries a house advantage. The objective is to either reach 21 by receiving cards, or getting less than that but more than the dealer. The player disadvantage for blackjack is around 0.6%, but can be bumped up to an advantage of 10% using card counting, which is a form of on-the-fly statistical analysis. As long as it’s done in your head it’s perfectly legal – but the casino may still ban you. OK, now back to horse racing, and sports in general. When setting bets, bookmakers research all the players and factors involved, and then make an estimate of the odds involved. This usually has a builtin advantage for the bookie; a simple example would be offering odds of 3/7 for Red Rum to beat Frankel in a race, and 3/7 for Frankel to beat Red Rum. Assuming that even numbers of people bet for each, the bookmaker still has a 1/7 advantage overall.
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in the USA alone. Half of this loss is all caused by just one single type of virus: rhinovirus. The rhinovirus is so called because of the ancient Greek word “ρίς” (ris), meaning “nose”; “virus”, meanwhile, is a Latin word meaning “slimy liquid” or “poison”. As well as being a traditional linguist’s nightmare, “rhino-virus” means “slimy nose liquid”. Descriptive, if nothing else.
“Once inside, the virus releases its DNA, makes loads of virus DNA and proteins and assembles more viruses” When the virus enters the body – usually via inhalation – it uses its viral proteins to stick to the surface of a cell, where it instructs the cell to bring the virus in. Once inside, the virus releases its DNA. The cell then makes a load of virus DNA and proteins, and assembles more viruses, which invade more cells, and the circle of life continues. (And it is a circle of life, as now viruses are considered living beings. Again.) Anyway, there is this drug, called Pleconaril. It was first invented in 1997, but had ten years of development before being approved for human trials in 2007. It works by occupying a microscopic chasm between rhinoviral proteins. This chasm usually gets filled in by the proteins folding into it when the virus moves into the cell. If Pleconaril is in this space, then the proteins cannot fold, and
sneezing, but instead make you crap yourself or puke”
Unfortunately, Pleconaril had the same issues as the male contraceptive: it had too many adverse effects relative to its potential benefits for it to pass modern human clinical trials. Lifesaving medicines are allowed to have nasty side-effects as these are usually not as bad as dying. For example, testicular cancer (and many other cancers) can be treated using cisplatin, a chemotherapy drug which wrecks your kidneys but at least doesn’t kill you from multiple organ blockages and failures. Pleconaril is not life-saving. It will stop you from sneezing, but instead makes you crap yourself (as well as maybe puke), so personally I’d prefer to just plough through the cold. And the FDA agreed, refusing its release to the general public. Since then there has been another trial with just a spray up your nose, but nobody’s heard anything from it since. Another issue that Pleconaril has is that it doesn’t work against all colds. Half of the colds you get aren’t from rhinoviruses at all, but from coronaviruses, or adenoviruses, or influenzaviruses, or parainfluenzaviruses,
resistance to Pleconaril. It has been downgraded from “potential economic boon” to “niche treatment for people with severe breathing problems”. At least now, whenever a conspiracy theorist starts saying there’s a cure for the common cold, you can prove them right. That’d silence them, as they’ve probably never seen concrete evidence before.
Fashion’s robot roamers Tired of washing your clothes? James McCoull might have found future’s solution
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rdinarily, being covered head to toe in tiny moving things indicates that you’re either having a great time at the cat café or your house is in dire need of fumigation. However, when it comes to Rovables, it might indicate that you’re living in the future. Rovables are wearable devices designed to roam around the user’s clothing and perform various tasks. These tiny machines are currently in a prototypical state, but already their potential applications are very exciting. A video on New Scientist’s website shows Rovables mounted with LED displays magnetically snapping together on the chest of a shirt to form a nametag, their beady diodes spelling out ‘TIM’ in capital letters. Elsewhere, a Rovable is seen tapping the wearer’s wrist as a kind of reminder (the article describes this motion as ‘gentle’, though personally it looks to me like it’s doing its best impression of a pneumatic drill). The tiny bots scurry around on fabric with the assistance of magnetic wheels, one set beneath the fabric and one set on the machine itself.
“These robots look a little too cumbersome for realistic use, not to mention the exposed batteries and wires that catch the eye in a less than appealing way”
As they stand, these robots look a little too cumbersome for realistic use, not to mention the exposed batteries and wires that catch the eye in a less than appealing way. But future incarnations of the Rovables are likely to do away with this bulky, clunky look in favour of
something more subtle. Indeed, researchers on the development team expect that they could shrink to as small as a fingernail, if not smaller.
signed to ‘react to [their] host and the environment’, including biosensing technology with possible medical applications such as monitoring heart rate, breathing and temperature on the fly in various parts of the body. Running out of energy mid-process shouldn’t be a concern either, as they can roll over a wearable charger pack to boost their batteries when they start to flag.
“The Rovables will be designed to react to the environment, including biosensors monitoring heart rate, breathing and temperature on the fly”
Image edited from Spreadshirt But aside from novelty value, what might we expect these proto-nanobots to actually do? The team expects that the Rovables will be de-
Personally, this sounds like a dream come true. Tiny robots scurrying up and down a person’s body might be cringe inducing to some, and that’s perfectly understandable. But I can imagine a future wherein a torn shirt is mended in seconds by a swarm of harmless little robo-tailors, or a microphone rolls up to the collar as a speaker opens their mouth to deliver a speech. Perhaps this could be seen as tempting fate, on the other hand: we’re still in an era where machines malfunction in sometimes spectacular ways, and I dread to think what a Galaxy Note-esque overheating incident might mean with bots that are millimetres away from your skin at all times. That’s not likely to be a concern, though, and health and safety is sure to be top priority for the Rovable design team. I, for one, welcome our new robot symbiotes.
The Courier
science&technology.33
Monday 20 March 2017
thecourieronline.co.uk/science
Fish bandages for burns Natalia Dapena delves into the depths to uncover a promising treatment for burns
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esearchers from the Federal University of Ceará have conducted a clinical trial on 50 second and third degree burn victims, where they covered their injuries in sterilized tilapia fish skin. The fish skin mimicked traditional gauze bandages and was placed over the burnt regions, restoring collagen proteins type 1 and 2 as well as moisture to the skin. There are three types of burns, first degree burns are superficial and affect just the skin, whereas second degree burns affect the lower layers of the skin and third degree burns go all the way through! Traditionally, first and second degree burns are treated with gauze and silver sulfadiazine (which kills bacteria). The limitation of these treatments is that the bandages need to be changed and reapplied daily. This can be problematic as patients have to return to hospital or a general practictioner which can be costly and inconvient. In developing countries it may be even harder to change the dressings as distances may be even greater. If these dressings aren’t changed infections can develop which can prolong the patient’s pain and suffering. Treating infections is far more expensive and the overuse of antibiotics can lead to antibiotic resistance, which the World Health Organisation has identified as a major future health issue for our generation.
“Tilapia, a fish which is widely farmed in Brazil and whose skin is normally considered waste”
Tilapia skin on the other hand only needs to be applied once on superficial burns and a few times on deep burn. Once adhered, the fish skin feels soothing and recovery times were reported as reduced in comparison to traditional traditional treatments, as it generally removed discomfort and the risk of infection from the healing process. But why are doctors turning to gill bearing, aquatic animals as a remedy for burns? Xenografts using animal skin, such as that of a pig, have long
been a method of treatment for burns in developing countries. These have provided temporary burn cover as they are not surgically attached to a person’s wound. In Brazil however, these treatments only met 1% of the national demand, leaving the rest of the population with the prospect of enduring the excruciating process of gauze and cream dressing. In comes Tilapia, a fish which is widely
farmed in Brazil and whose skin is considered waste and is commonly donated to research for free. The skin is preserved and treated removing toxins, scales and muscle tissue. This also eliminates the familiar offensive odour exuded by fish and most importantly prevents the passing on of any Zoonotic disease.
Sabrina Pasterski
Christopher Little takes a look at a new bright spark
on the block, who is rumoured to be the next Einstein
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magine if Stephen Hawking cited your work in one of his papers. What a crazy thought? Well, not for 23-year-old Sabrina Pasterski. The remarkable woman built a plane in her teens and some believe she is the next ‘Albert Einstein’. Born in Chicago, the Cuban-American has held a long interest in aerospace and as a child had dreams of building a spacecraft. But even for her genius mind that was out of reach at such a young age. So instead, she decided to build a plane. Pasterski finished work on the single-engine aircraft by the age of 14 and set off to MIT to get the plane certified as airworthy (another thing the prestigious university does). There she met Peggy Udden, an executive secretary at MIT, who was taken aback by her achievement and duly helped her get the plane approved. Despite her skills, Pasterski had been wait-listed when she initially applied to study at MIT. But after Udden showed a video of Pasterski building her plane to Professors Allen Haggerty and Earll Murman, they recognised the immense potential she had. Pasterski rewarded their faith by going on to graduate top of her MIT-Physics class with the highest possible grade average, the first woman to do so in decades. During that period she also spent time working at CERN on the CMS experiment in the Large Hadron Collider. Now at Harvard University, Pasterski is pursuing her doctorate in theoretical high energy physics at the Centre for the Fundamental Laws of Nature. Her research focuses on the mysteries of black holes, space-time and the theoretical realm of quantum gravity - a field that seeks to understand gravity within the framework of quantum mechan-
According to the World Health Organization, there are approximately 265,000 deaths due to burns every year, the vast majority are from low or middle income countries. This research provides hope for those who cannot readily access current treatments by sourcing Brazil’s domestic resources. However, in spite of these positive implications, this advance could raise concerns about animal welfare, and increased scrutiny from lobbyist may delay the introduction of fish skin into the burns unit of hospitals. As it stands, clinical trials are expected to expand. If trials continue to show success, skin substitutes using tilapia fish may become common practice in burn care. So one day, a fish that was once merely seen as a delicious component to a meal could become a low-cost, viable option to a global public health problem.
ics. One of her works was cited in Stephen Hawking, Malcom Perry and Andrew Strominger’s 2016 paper ‘Soft Hairs on Black Holes’. While some of her other work has also been incorporated into the Harvard grad physics curriculum. Pasterski already has job offers from NASA and Jeff Bezos, the man who drew her to physics and the founder of Amazon and aerospace developer Blue Origin. At present she is just focused on getting her Ph.D., but has ambitions to found and run her own interdisciplinary laboratory one day. Pasterski says she does not own a mobile phone or use social media. She has never had an alcoholic drink or smoked a cigarette. But says, “hopefully I’m known for what I do, not what I don’t do.” So what she does do, is ride motorcycles, build and fly aeroplanes, lecture some of the most intelligent people on the planet, and of course, she also maps space and time. She is the new rock star of the physicist world, and she may well be the Albert Einstein of our time.
Word of the Week:
Ailurophile Sarah Main loves this week’s word and... cats
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his week’s word, ailurophile, is essentially a synonym for ‘human’. Or at least for ‘human with a heart’. It comes from the Greek ‘ailuros’ (cat) and ‘phile’ (lover). Yes, we’re talking about a lover of cats. And realistically, who isn’t an ailurophile? Other than ailurophobes I suppose, whether they genuinely hate cats, are scared of them, or are just allergic to their adorable fluff. I was surprised to find that this word doesn’t have some sort of Ancient Egyptian origin, considering that their culture almost required them all to be ailurophiles. Cats aren’t just cute though, they’re also scientifically interesting! Cat fact: cats make around 100 different sounds to communicate with humans, whereas dogs can only make about 10. Cats are also pretty great astronauts too. Although a dog reached space first, 6 years later, a cat was sent into space, and made it back alive. Sadly, the dog did not. Is that sufficient evidence to prove that cats are (scientifically speaking) better than dogs? I mean, I’d say so.
Mythbusters: How much urine is in our swimming pools? Our resident mythbuster Jack Coles goes for a dip in our urea-infested waters
W
hen I was seven, my parents taught me to question everything. This might be why I keep busting myths with questionably-worded Google searches, but the reason I bring this up is because one day, I read that humans couldn’t breathe underwater. I then proceeded to nearly kill myself by trying to inhale an entire swimming pool. Moral of the story is, I inhaled about 14.6 microlitres of pee per breath that day. OK, that was quite a leap of logic, I should probably show my working. The University of Alberta showed that in a 220,000 gallon swimming pool, 20 gallons of it was urine. Sounds like a lot, but actually works out to be just 0.009% pee. Meanwhile, a child will inhale around 7ml of air per kg of body mass. Assuming that I was average weight at the age of seven, this would mean that I weighed about 23kg, and would therefore breathe in 161ml with each breath. 0.009% of 161ml is 0.0146ml, or 14.6 microlitres. That’s a tiny amount, unless you work in microbiology. Wait, I work in microbiology. Oh well! The way the scientists measured the urine concentration was by detecting the levels of acesulphame potassium (E950), an artificial sweetener. The body has no method of degrading it, so it just quickly passes right through, like a Conservative MP driving through a deprived neighbourhood. They compared the acesulphame potassium concentration in the pool to that of some regular urine samples to get an estimate of the volumes involved. Also, it’s 200 times sweeter than sucrose (fruit sugar), so at least it’s nice-tasting pee. As already said in a previous mythbusters article, urine is only somewhat sterile. As soon as it leaves the urethra, you’re going to have all sorts of bacteria in there. But the chlorine in there kills them, right? Not really, because it’s actually calcium hypochlorite (basically bleach). The thing is with hypochlorite ions is that when they mix with urea, they tend to… explode. I am not making this up, a water treatment plant was destroyed when they switched from chlorine gas to sodium hypochlorite. Hypochlorite ions react with urea to make trichloramine, a chemical that explodes when exposed to light, heat, carbon compounds, bigotry, or Sonic fan art. It’s also responsible for that well-known chlorine-y smell in pools. Yep, pools smell like they do because people keep peeing in them.
“Trichloramine is responsible for that well-known chlorine-y smell in pools. Yep, pools smell like they do because people pee in them”
So why don’t swimming pools explode? Again, it’s because the concentrations involved are so low. Sodium hypochlorite has a swimming pool concentration of 0.0015%, and the urine concentration is around 0.009%. No, the main risk from trichloramine is the fact that it’s a highly irritant chemical. Just show its chemical structure to any passing chemist, they’ll take one look at it and comment on how nasty it looks. Nitrogen and chlorine are not the most pleasant of elements. Trichloramine in low concentrations can cause skin and eye irritation, as well as coughs and rashes. So please, don’t urinate in the pool. Instead, get out, walk to the toilets, and pee in the sink like any other responsible person.
The Courier
Puzzles Down
Across
puzzles.35
Monday 20 March 2017
1 Japanese dog breed most (in)famous for their meme status (5, 3) 5 Purveyor of the elaborate traps used by Wile E. Coyote in Looney Tunes (4) 8 An idea or statement which has no apparent relation to the established subject (3, 8) 9 Snow-based unpowered transport sometimes pulled by dogs (6) 10 Acronym for a unit of measurement of velocity, especially on land (3) 14 Complete they lyrics from the theme of 7-down’s show: ‘Up in the __ or on the ground’ (3) 15 Animated Great Dane gifted with the power of speech (6, 3) 17 Condition which causes a physiological reaction to a particular substance (7) 18 Game commonly played with dogs, especially in parks (5)
1 Category of dog breed including dogs with long faces and ears, originally bred for hunting game (7) 2 ___ hound, breed of dog with cartoonishly long, floppy ears (6) 3 A difference resulting in an imbalance between two groups, especially in society (10) 4 Golden and Labrador are examples of this dog breed type (10) 6 Fluffy short-legged dog favoured by the Queen (5) 7 Beloved dog who joined Auntie Mabel in a popular 90’s educational children’s show (6) 11 Diminutive, fashionable dog breed favoured for its easily-stylable curly fur (6) 12 Shih Tzu, Pekingese and Chow Chow are examples of __ dog breeds (5) 13 Common ancestory of domesticated dog breeds (4) 14 Protective Japanese dog breed sometimes misunderstood as dangerous (5) 16 Rough exterior of a tree trunk (4)
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Completing this Puzzles page will show off your status as a bone-a fide dog lover (HA). Bring proof of your achievement to the Courier office where an editor of your choice will show you their favourite dog videos from the internet.
36. sport
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston
Once upon a time in the land of sport
After non-league team Lincoln City were beaten 5-0 by Arsenal in the quarter finals of the FA Cup we take a look some sport fairytales when athletes and teams upset the odds to become the stuff of sporting legend.
Lincoln City For 46 minutes under the lights at the Emirates Stadium, Lincoln City held their own. They were combative, hard-working, and reduced Arsenal to one snap shot from Theo Walcott, well saved by Geordie stopper Paul Farman. They were making a mockery of the huge gulf between the two teams, to the delight of the 9,000 fans that had travelled down from the cathedral city in the East Midlands. To put that in context, Arsenal’s corporate hospitality boxes sell for around £3,000 per person, while the directors’ suite at Sincil Bank Stadium, Lincoln, is sponsored by a toilet hire company. Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Özil have recently demanded wages in excess of £280,000 per week - combined, they would earn more than Lincoln’s annual budget every seven days. But, for the majority of the first half, this did not matter, and only a world-class Petr Cech save from Nathan Arnold kept the Imps from taking the lead. Of course, after those 46 minutes, the elastic broke and the pace of Alexis Sanchez and friends began to show effortlessly, and Arsenal strolled to a 5-0 victory. The scoreline is merely a
Muhammad Ali
footnote in Lincoln’s extraordinary run, a string of games I feel very fortunate to have witnessed as an Imps season ticket holder for the last 14 years. In that time I have seen the club fail twice at playoff finals, witnessed a relegation from the football league under the leadership of a captain who was later sent to prison for match-fixing, and had also seen them play an ex-convict and a peripheral TOWIE character in the same midfield (Ali Fuseini and Tom Kilbey, for anyone interested). It really puts Arsenal’s yearly existential angst into context when you’ve supported a team that was once only 90 minutes away from National League North football. We’re having a stratospheric, once-in-a-generation season, top of the National League with the cup scalps of Burnley, Brighton, Ipswich and Oldham to boast about, as well as those glorious forty-six minutes at the Emirates, led by a manager making national headlines. The only thing to do is to savour it, because unlike a Premier League fan, I know that success is fleeting and must be cherished. Dom Partridge
“Oh my god he’s won the title back at 32!” On 30 October, 1974, in Kanshasa, Zaire, the words of Harry Carpenter were immortalised in the annals of sporting history. The exclamation of sheer disbelief escaped his lips to capture the defining chapter in Muhammad Ali’s glorious career. This was the fight that redefined Ali, reshaped boxing and saw the birth of ‘rope-a-dope’. For those who loosely know of Ali’s legend, it may be difficult to understand how ‘The Greatest’ created a fairytale – this isn’t a relegation-threatened Leicester storming the league; this is the best of all time. But as the context of his bout with George Foreman is uncovered, and as the events of the Rumble in the Jungle are reviewed, it becomes clear how incredible a feat it was from ‘the Louisville Lip’. By the time of the fight, Ali had passed his peak. His defiant stance against the Vietnam War and refusal to be drafted led to a ban that robbed him of his best years. He arrived in Zaire without the characteristic fast feet of his younger years. Meanwhile, Foreman had quickly
established himself as the most fearsome heavyweight in the division. His imposing stature and devastating punching power had helped him dominate the only men who had previously defeated Ali – Joe Frazier and Ken Norton. He entered the ring undefeated after forty fights and with the world expecting another imperious win for the 25 year-old. What followed was as astonishing in its method as it was in its result. In the second round, Ali began to lean back on the ropes, letting Foreman’s powerful blows rain down on his arms and body. As Foreman tired, Ali took timely opportunities to take shots at his opponent’s face.
“That all you got, George?” Ali taunted, using his famed lip to draw the younger man into an even more furious and exhausting barrage. In the eighth, with the strain having taken its toll on Foreman, Ali finally took advantage, sending his opponent to the canvas with a right hand. Ali had done what very few thought possible, with a tactic like nothing ever seen before. His legend had long been established, but here he cemented himself as ‘The Greatest’, in the most tremendous piece of sporting theatre of the 20th century. James Harris
Sri Lanka 1996 saw some incredible events. Not only the birth of me, and maybe you (if you’re 20 or only just 21), but a heart-warming world cup victory for Cricket underdogs, Sri Lanka was also a memorable occurrence for many who were blessed enough to witness it. The triumphant win for this small island nation, who co-hosted the event with India and Pakistan, came despite the team only completing two matches in the whole competition. In the group stages, Australia and the West indies forfeited their matches due to security concerns following the Central Bank bombing by the Tamil Tigers earlier the same year, and the points were automatically handed to
Sri Lanka. In their semi-final match, hot favourites India made a promising start but lost their form midway, and when promising player Azharuddin “got out as if he was giving catching practice to Srilankans”. According to a blog by fan Gagan Verma, the rowdy Indian crowd expressed their disappointment by throwing items such as fruit and water bottles onto the pitch. Sri Lankan captain, Arjuna Ranatunga refused to allow his team back onto the field in such an environment and as attempts to calm the restless crowd failed, match referee, Clive Lyold, awarded the match to Sri Lanka by default. A member of the crowd held
up a placard saying “Congratulations Sri Lanka… we are sorry! In the final, Sri Lanka played Australia, a nation who interestingly, despite being 118 times the size of little Sri-Lanka, shared the same population size of 18.3 million that year. The match, played in Lahore, Pakistan, was close and well fought by both teams. The Australian captain praised the Sri Lankan performance, telling members of various press that “they held their catches which we didn’t do so they deserve their win”. While Ranatunga thanked Pakistani public for being behind them right throughout the game. Sydney Isaacs
Niki Lauda Immortalised in the film “Rush” (2013) the Austrian and current champion Niki Lauda, battled against the Englishman James Hunt to win the 1976 Formula One Championship. The two racers were friends despite being like chalk and cheese; Lauda was a perfectionist, while Hunt was notorious for taking risks and his playboy status.
Lauda took the lead early on with Hunt close behind before heading to the infamously dangerous Nurburgring in Germany. While Lauda had urged for the race to be cancelled due to wet weather, Hunt countered that this was so the Austrian could maintain this lead. Both then agreed to go ahead and the race was on!
Niki Lauda continues to work behind the scenes in Formula One Image: Wikimedia Commons
However Lauda’s worries were soon realised. In the middle of third lap the suspension in his Ferarri broke, leading him to fly into an embankment in a horrific accident. He survived, but was left with burns to his head and face, as well as to his lungs from the hot toxic fumes head had inhaled. Yet in an extraordinary turn of events, six weeks Lauda, despite doctor’s orders, had returned to the track in bloody bandages, after Hunt had made up ground in his absence. Now three points ahead going into the final race in Japan, Lauda decided to retire on the second lap rather then risk his life again leading Hunt to win the championship by just one point Hunt quickly retired as the season finished, however Lauda continued racing, later winning the championship two more times in 1977 and 1984. Lauda a legend after coming back from the brink of death and continuing to race despite his rational fears, Lauda is the epitome of a fairytale. Tom Shrimplin
Ali is regarded as one of “The Greatest sportspeople of all time Image: benyupp
Steve Redgrave “Anyone who sees me in a boat has my permission to shoot me”, Steve Redgrave announced after winning his fourth successive Olympic Games in 1996. Redgrave had been at the pinnacle of the rowing world for 16 years and had enjoyed unprecedented success. However, at the age of 34, it seemed to be time to give his body a rest from the gruelling rowing training schedule. For four months after that summer’s success the rower stuck to his statement and enjoyed some much needed time for rest and recuperation. Although, strangely, there was no official confirmation or celebration of Redgrave’s achievement to commemorate his sporting career. As this lack of formal acknowledgement would suggest, Redgrave’s retirement did not last long. It is widely speculated that this four month “retirement” was, in fact, a planned break from the world of rowing. However, planned or not, after just four months the Olympian was back in training. Coming back wasn’t simple. Redgrave admitted to thinking, “What the hell am I doing this for?”, during those first stages of the comeback but was not to be defeated. As the selection processwas purely down to performances and not medals. Redgrave had to prove that he was still the best around and fight off hot competition from emerging youngsters. Indeed, he got that so coveted place in the squad and was selected in the coxless four alongside James Cracknell, Matthew Pinsent and Tim Foster. An early win in the World Championships of September 1997 set the boat in good
stead but difficulties were about to arise. Redgrave suffers from diabetes, and had to up his doses to combat the quantity of food needing to be consumed, whilst Foster had to undergo surgery on a torn disc and spend three months out of action. Unsurprisingly, at the World Cup Regatta of July 2000 the four suffered defeat to New Zeeland and came fourth in the semi-final. Only two months later and the Olympic Games in Sydney had arrived. The four navigated their way through the early stages and secured a place in what would be one of the tensest finals to date. Expectations of the proven Steve Redgrave were huge but the boat managed to claim gold by a mere 0.38 of a second. Back from retirement, 20 years after his first gold – Sir Steve Redgrave conquered the world again! Toby Bryant
Redgrave’s achievements have literally been set in stone Image: Steve Fareham
The Courier
sport .37
Monday 20 March 2017
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Angels look set to continue to shine
Sports Editor, Lucy Brogden, interviewed Laura Cherry, President of the Newcastle Northern Angels, to get the inside scoop on the club
How many people do you have in your club? We have sixty members, and are an almost entirely female club. How often do you train? We train three times a week, and each session is two hours long. There is also an additional dance session for some members.
What are the main events in the cheerleading calendar? We have three main events: Cheer nationals, our dance showcase, and our old girls’ weekend, where we invite old club members back to Newcastle to take part in a fun training session, and some socialising! How did the club fare at Nationals? Really well, actually. We were really nervous beforehand since you only get one chance on the mat, and you’ve worked so hard all year for that one performance. We put in some really strong performances, and we did a lot better than we thought we would. How come you weren’t at Stan Calvert? There was a bit of a communication blip- we said we’d do it, but we didn’t know when we would be performing until a week before the event. This meant we didn’t have time to put together a routine safe enough to be performed on the wooden floor of the basketball court, rather than the mats we perform on usually.
Would you like cheerleading to become an event in Stan Calvert? Yes! Northumbria have previously been quite a dance-based team, but this year they entered Nationals for the first time, so there’s definitely an opportunity there! Who choreographs your routines? That’s Georgie, our captain, along with our vice captains and our two dance captains. How are cheerleading routines marked? There are about seven judges who mark each routine. Each of the judges are looking for something different: difficulty, technique, cleanness, showmanship among other things. Points are deducted for illegal or unsafe moves- it’s all very complicated.
who gets thrown in the air and caught. Some people are able to do more than one of these positions, but generally you stick to one. Bases have to be identical in height, the back spot has to be taller than the bases, and the bases have to be strong enough to lift the flyer. Our stunt groups move around a lot in the first few weeks.
“Every member of the club has to trial again apart from the president and the captains”
Can anyone join the club? We have trials in September, and there’s always a lot of interest- we have 200 girls going for about 30 places, so it’s very competitive. There are a lot of girls who have never done cheerleading before, but we also get a lot of people who come from a gymnastic background. Every year every member of the club has to trial again apart from the president and the captains. Right from September we’re working on our routines for Nationals, so it’s hard for people to join any later as they will have already missed so much. We’re definitely more of a competitive team than a club.
How many teams do you have? We have two squads. Our blue squad are level two, and are red squad are level three (the higher the level, the more advanced the team).
What type of dances do you do? There are three main types of dance: Jazz, hip hop and pom. We also have the main routines, which are the typical routines you’d expect of cheerleaders. Routines have to be exactly two and a half minutes long- any longer than this and the team is penalised. Cheer routines must have several elements: tumbles, jumps, stunts, and some dance.
What’s the worst injury you’ve had this year? I broke my arm coming out of a stunt. That’s probably the worst injury we’ve had this year, but we’ve had broken elbows, thumbs, hands and plenty of black eyes. What positions are there in cheerleading teams? There are three main positions: flyers, bases and back spots. The bases are the two people who stand opposite each other to lift and catch the flyer. The back spot is the tallest member of a stunt group, and they help the bases catch the flyer. The flyer, as the name suggests, is
Cream of the crop: only 30 of the 200 that trial make it onto the squad Image: Lucy Brogden
38. sport
Monday 20 March 2017
The Courier
Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston
Sprosdog’s Sport Section By James Sproston Sports Editor This week in the world of university sport, Newcastle University engages with the nationwide campaign This Girl Can. For those that don’t know, This Girl Can is a ‘nationwide campaign to get women and girls moving, regardless of shape, size and ability’ set up by Sport England and backed by National Lottery funding. It follows on from the insight pack ‘Go Where Women Are’, which revealed that millions of women are afraid to participate in sport due to fear of judgement. Therefore it’s important to highlight that sport isn’t exclusive to the models seen in adverts and on billboards. This Girl Can aims to deconstruct the idealised image of a woman playing sport, and build confidence amongst those that have so often felt discouraged to play sport.
No Northern League success for NUPC Polo Northern League Final Newcastle Novice
3 (3)
Durham Novice
3 (4)
By Jess Rea at the White Rose Polo Club Last weekend the NUPC Novice first team saw in their derby day as they faced Durham University Polo Club at White Rose Polo ground, North Yorkshire. The match was the final clash of the newly established Northern League, and the winners were set to progress through to the national finals in a showdown with the victors of the southern league.
214
mile round trip for NUPC
The match was very close from the
off as both teams were evenly matched, having both received trained from Tony Welshe, a top trainer of the northern universities. Newcastle took an early lead, scoring three successive goals and storming ahead.
“Newcastle took an early lead, scoring three successive goals, and storming ahead” Not to be outdone, Durham came back with a strong counter attack to level the score to three a piece. There were some impressive displays of intricate plays on both sides, especially from the Newcastle squad who boasted 0 goaler, Raunqaq Cavet. Their defence was similarly on point, with Ryan Letley putting in a shift to mark his opposition out of the game. After the seven minute chukka was concluded the score board was level at five goals each. After playing out stoppage time, the only way to settle the
“The idea has always been to increase particpation, and the University are hoping to replicate this success to work towards that”
As of May 2016, over 1.6 million women have started to exercise, the gender gap of those exercising has reduced from 1.78m to 1.73m, and 500,000 women have become active members of the This Girl Can community, all as a result of the campaign. The idea has always been to increase participation, and the university are hoping to replicate this success to work towards that. Hence Sophie Matthews, Newcastle’s AU officer, has organised a number of events that all girls can get involved in. “But what has the Courier’s Section of the Year got to do with all of this?” I hear some of our more confused and/or cynical readers cry. Well, for starters we want to get as many people involved as possible. It’s not strictly our job, but publicising a campaign that gets more girls participating in sport can only be a good thing. Keep an eye out on Facebook, Twitter and whatever other social media platforms we’re on to see if there are any updates. Secondly, we really want to be able to kick start the This Girl Did campaign here in Newcastle. Rather than focusing solely on participation, this takes more of an empowerment angle, whereby female icons and sporting heroes are highlighted, to prove that girls not only can, but also have done for a long period of time. To give it a Newcastle-based focus, we want to identify all of the great female athletes that have achieved great things at the university. This could be anything from an individual representing their national team, or the first female team to win a BUCS competition. If you know of anyone or any team who may have disappeared into history, but you think should be championed, please get in touch! We’d love to highlight their achievements.
THIS GIRL CAN WEEK
8-12 May 2017
Teamwork: Newcastle have gone from strength to strength Image: Erin Pepper score was a sudden death penalty shoot out. This was a difficult decision taken by the White Rose referee, and not the usual way to conclude a league match. However, with so much riding on the game there was nothing else to be done. Unfortunately, Newcastle were the first to miss a shot and so lost the match on penalties. Such a tough way to go.
“Newcastle were the first to miss a shot and so lost the match on penalties” Nonetheless, both teams showed skill and good sportsmanship to uphold the good manners inherent to the game, despite tensions running high due to the high pressure of the final match and the local universities being very competitive between each other. NUPC Novice Captain Ryan Letley commented on his team’s performance, ‘I was very impressed with how everyone played today. It was a tough match
Small margins: Newcastle drew the match but lost on penalties Image: Erin Pepper
for us as Durham always have strong players, and with this being the final and deciding league match they were sure to put their best foot forward, so to speak. But I really feel we played the best we ever have, and it was just unlucky that we lost out on penalties. I would like to wish Durham the best of luck in their league final.’ The NUPC team was riding high off the back of their impressive Guns and Horses ball. The annual event has quickly become a highlight of the social calendar which sees the polo club and the clay shooting club join force to host teams from across the country. This year teams from both shooting and polo travelled from as far north as St. Andrews and as far south as Oxford to attend. A testament to the reputation of both club’s social skills.
MVP
Raunqaq Cavet
Non-League Soc raise money for hospital Non-League Society By Hannes Read As the Easter break draws near, we look ahead to the Non-League Football Society’s adventures to Wembley and their fundraising social. No-one knows what will happen at football games which, I suppose, is what attracts fans back game after game, season after season, generation after generation. Little did we know that one game at Whitley Bay would completely change our University experience. A few friends and I had spent the day watching Whitley Bay valiantly go down 3-2 in a thrilling FA Cup 2nd Qualifying Round game against Chorley. Whilst waiting for the metro back to Newcastle, we wondered why no other student had joined us on this thoroughly enjoyable day out. It was there, on that pleasant autumn day in Whitley Bay, that the seeds for the Non-League Football Society were sown. From that moment, the society has had exponential success. Non-league football teams are generally run on a part time basis and have inherent local connections that are, sadly, often diluted at the higher levels of the game. Clubs have contacted us to go to their games, and it was palpably clear how grateful they were that we were making efforts to get local students along. The passion showed by Whitley Bay’s
secretary during a stadium tour, the ambition of South Shields to negotiate an £8 entry, food and drink deal and the astonishment of Hebburn Town’s gateman as we rocked up with our largestever group to add 36% to the overall attendance are especially memorable. But we haven’t stopped there. In fact, we’re only just getting started! We’ve got big plans to get to Wembley for NonLeague Finals Day which includes the two non-league FA Cup competitions: the FA Vase and FA Trophy. South Shields have got their FA Vase semi-final second leg on Saturday 18th March and (hopefully by the time this goes to press) they will be in the Final at Wembley!
Wednesday 22nd March. We will be raising money for the young person’s cancer ward at the Freeman Hospital in support of one of Benfield’s players who is undergoing treatment there.
£212
raised so far for Ward 34
No sponsored walk is complete without a fancy dress theme, so we will be dressing as famous sportspeople. We will meet at Luther’s (formerly Mens-
bar) from 2pm on Wednesday 22nd March so please feel free to join us! If you are interested either in going to Wembley, joining the sponsored walk/ pub crawl or just finding out more about the Non-League Football Society, do not hesitate to email Hannes Read at J.Read1@newcastle.ac.uk or follow us on Twitter @NonLeagueSoc.
DONATE AT
http://bit.ly/2nh0qFX
“We will be raising money for the young person’s cancer ward at the Freeman Hospital” We’re all hoping Shields get to Wembley and bring to Vase back to the North East for the 8th time in 9 years. We will also be meeting up with the UK’s only other Non-League Society at Oxford Brookes with what promises to be a fantastic day out. Talking of joint socials, we have teamed up with the Real Ale and Cider Society to organise a sponsored walk/ pub crawl to Newcastle Benfield on
Quirks of non-league: Billingham Town’s east stand was an actual bus shelter complete with timetable Image: Hannes Read
The Courier
sport .39
Monday 20 March 2017
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NUSYC feel the need for speed at Top Gun Oxford Top Gun Regatta By Freya Macdonald at Farmoor Reservoir The first weekend of March saw our University sailing first team head down South to race the best teams in the country at Farmoor Reservoir in Oxford. The event was an invitation only trophy, meaning that only the best eight teams in the country were selected to compete, which included Newcastle due to winning BUCS Northern Qualifiers back in February. Team racing is the favoured type of racing by Universities with the format of a race containing three boats vs three boats and the team with the lowest com-
Top Team: NUSYC impressed as a team at the Top Gun Image: NUSYC
bined score wins. Having spent a night with a slug for a roommate, Newcastle joined the competitors at the Reservoir early on Saturday morning, ready for a weekend full of intense but well-natured competition. NUSYC enjoyed an exciting days round robin racing against Cambridge, Exeter, Southampton, Oxford, Manchester, Trinity Dublin and London, winning at least one race against all these teams. This even included last year’s BUCS winners, Cambridge. Amongst all this were capsizes, crashes, bumps and bruises due to the heavy wind.
“The team have come away from the weekend exceptionally proud” On the Saturday evening, all competitors were invited to the Oxford University Yachting Club’s annual alumni meal that celebrates the club’s achievements, and this year was sponsored by Moët & Chandon champagne! By Sunday the wind had got up even more and so only a few more races could be fitted in before racing had to be cancelled due to the adverse conditions. This meant that overall, Newcastle finished in third place having completed 16 races, closely beaten by Cambridge and Exeter. The team have come away from the weekend exceptionally proud, having never even been invited to the event before, and feeling very positive for BUCS
Riding the wave: Newcastle battled against the wind to achieve 3rd place Image: Nigel Vick finals which will take place in Easter holidays.
3
rd place for NUSYC at the invitational event
For anyone who is interested in getting into sailing, Newcastle University Sailing and Yachting Club are running learn to sail courses this term and also run social sailing on Saturdays, for enquiries contact James Sparks at
J.Sparks1@newcastle.ac.uk. They thank their sponsors Gingerboats and Rooster for their continued support, as well as the Newcastle University Marine School for sponsoring the club.
Will Allman and Oliver Clarke fortifying the defence, with the latter stepping up to the position after starting in midfield. Jack Mitchenson improved tremendously at facing off, and Myles Davies and Arthur Waley found their feet in our attack, alongside the experience of Jordan Thompson and Sam ‘Sparkles’ Gledhill. Josh Brown came to be known as the midfield steamroller, doing almost as much damage on the pitch in a match as he did every Wednesday night at Legends. A special mention must go out to Sam Butterfield for the courage displayed in taking up the keeper position for a game against a formidable Hull team.
Doherty in defence, to Joseph Parnell, Luke ‘Rambro’ Ramsbottom, and US College Lacrosse player Conor Doyle in attack, who collectively amassed the majority of goals, securing the title in the process. This was only made possible thanks to the plentiful supply of assists, possession plays and tough groundwork by the likes of Sam Merrion, Alex Aves and Joseph Clements. The commitment displayed by the likes Jake McNair and Patrick Kearney led to them becoming regulars on the team sheet, and were joined soon after by Matthew ‘Derrick’ Holland, whose marked improvement with a long pole saw him be called up from the 2nds halfway through the season. They supported players like George Band and Rob Baldwyn, who regularly wreaked havoc for defences by drawing slides, and creating further goal-scoring opportunities. President Timothy Deehan also regularly persevered through injury as the designated facer, to routinely retain and regain possession in matches. A honourable mention must be given to Ryan Scott, whose semester at Newcastle saw him become a vital part of the team, both on and off the field. As a unit, they came together to beat Northumbria in the opening round of the cup, as well as in the league by 7-10, inspired in no small part, by a goal from Jake McNair when Newcastle were 6-1 down in the 2nd half. They now go on to playoffs for promotion to the Premier Division.
Lacrosse take the title to reach playoffs Men’s Lacrosse By Mahul Patel Newcastle University’s Men’s Lacrosse 1st and 2nd Teams have had an incredible rollercoaster season, filled with jubilation and bitter disappointments. With several drops of blood and sweat spilled through tough training sessions and tense matches, the season has culminated with the 1st team winning their
league, with the opportunity to play for promotion to the Premier Lacrosse Division in the country, and the 2nd team in with a chance of remaining in an incredibly competitive division.
0
points between Newcastle and Northumbria
The election of Matthew Benton to captain ensured an experienced, skilful,
and aggressive figure would be present for a 2nds side, predominantly made up of freshers. Enthusiasm was never lacking, with the players quickly settling into the sport, and gelling to form a team. The season started with games against well-oiled teams from Durham, York and Hull, as the team quickly learned that a successful season would be built on a strong defence. Our Freshers developed quickly, with
“This was only made possible thanks to to the plentiful supply of assists, possession plays and tough groundwork”
Rivals: Newcasltle won two and lost two against Northumbria his season Image: Fiona Leishman
Ultimately, despite a season filled with losses, a dogged away win by a resilient 10-man side, proved just how far the 2nd team had come. Having been pipped to the post in recent seasons, the 1st team had their sights fixed on finishing top of their league, above longstanding rivals, Northumbria. Callum Counihan was trusted with the responsibility of captaining the wealth of experience in the 18-man side, as the team won 8/10 of their league games this season. Contributions came from everywhere, with the phenomenal Jack Clohessy in goal, reassuring the seasoned and experienced back line of Will Drabble, Matt Rees, captain Counihan, and the capped Spanish international Harry
PLAYER OF THE SEASON
Jack Clohessy
Sport
thecourieronline.co.uk/sport
www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 20 March 2017 Issue 1349 Free
Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk Twitter: @Courier_Sport | Instagram: thecouriersport
Image: Nigel Vick
SAILING, P.39 Image: Fiona Leishman
Courtney Strait was a force to be reckoned with against Loughborough Image: James Sproston
LACROSSE, P.39 Image: Hannes Read
Noble Knights fall short BUCS Basketball Final 8s By Courtney Strait at Sport Central
NON-LEAGUE SOCIETY, P.38 Image: Lucy Brogden
The Newcastle women’s basketball team finished their 2016-2017 season on a positive note on Sunday with a huge victory against Hertfordshire at The BUCS Final 8s Event at Northumbria’s Sport Central. Following the victory, the Knights completed their best post-season finish in club history by capturing fifth place in the BUCS Premier North division. The home team had no trouble against the Herts on Sunday — they were able to cut through the defence all game, get to the basket and share the ball freely for easy scoring opportunities. Though Newcastle did not have their best start to the game, once they got their momentum going it was all Knights, all the time. Newcastle took a 20-3 lead in the first quarter and didn’t stop there. Despite the Knights not having one of their top scorers in Noelia Quintas on Sunday, Newcastle entered the game confident and maintained their focus throughout the match.
78-20 CHEERLEADING INTERVIEW P.37
Victory over Hertfordshire
Newcastle did a great job of finding the open player on offence — every player that kitted up on Sunday knocked down a basket. Through Hertfordshire were very physical on defense, the Knights used their conditioning to punish their opponent on the fast break. The Knights
had at least 20 points from long passes down court for easy layups. Veteran Abbie Wheeler and first-year Eleanor Goodwin did a standout job of pushing the tempo, and streaking down the court for easy passes from the Newcastle rebounders.
“Newcastle entered the game confident and maintained their focus” Aside from the fast break, the Knights were also successful from long range. Shooting guards Izzy Johns and Courtney Strait led the way, with Strait knocking down four threes and Johns hitting at least five in her game as a Newcastle Knight. The strong, balanced attack was too much for Hertfordshire, and when the final buzzer sounded the Knights walked away with a commanding 78-20 victory. Newcastle Head Coach Mark Elderkin said the Knights did not have a special game plan for Hertfordshire. Instead, he gave the orders for consistent physical, unselfish and aggressive play on both sides of the court. He told his players that as long as they let the ball do all the work and did not overthink the game, they would secure an easy, fun and wellearned victory to finish their season. Just a day before Newcastle defeated Hertfordshire, the Knights battled the tournament’s top seed in Loughborough University. Although the final score did not finish in Newcastle’s favour, their match against the Riders was by far the best game in the first round of Final 8s
action. The final score was 79-54 in favour of the Riders. In preparation for their game against Loughborough, the Knights trained diligently for weeks to handle their opponents’ multiple scoring threats, and aggressive defence. Coach Elderkin’s game plan gave the Knights exactly what they needed to compete against the challenging opposition. The Knights, who are extremely undersized compared to Loughborough’s post players, were instructed to sag in on their bigs and force them to shoot midrange jump shots when they caught the ball in the post. In addition, when the Rider centres caught the ball down low, the guards packed in the lane and forced Loughborough to move the ball more, and take contested shots.
“The Knights pushed the league’s top team to their limit” On offence, the Knights had to play more physically and demand the ball. Because Loughborough run an aggressive, face-guard man-to-man defence, the Knights had to work hard to set screens, cut to the basket and create scoring opportunities for their playmakers. Although Loughborough were a lot better than Newcastle statistically, the Knights did not go down without a fight, and definitely gave their opponents a scare. Newcastle nipped closely at the Riders’ heels all game until about
five minutes to play, when their outside shooting finally shut the Knights out for good. Until that point, Newcastle were within arms reach, and even had a lead in parts of the first and second quarter. Newcastle executed Elderkin’s instructions exactly how they needed to in the game, but their shots simply didn’t fall on Saturday, and they could not limit Loughborough’s offensive rebounds. Newcastle had plenty of open looks in the game, but the ball just did not want to find net, and led to Newcastle scoring only 54 points. In addition they could not move the Riders’ post players away from the basket effectively, which led to at least 15 second-chance points that were eventually the difference maker in the game. American scholar, Courtney Strait, led the way for the Knights against Loughborough. Despite facing heavy pressure the entire game, Strait was able to get past defenders to the basket, create scoring opportunities, drawing fouls and finding her shot from deep. Strait played all 40 minutes on Saturday and finished the game with 35 points. At least 21 of those points came from behind the three-point line. Despite the loss, the Knights pushed the league’s top team to their limit. Newcastle finished their season on a very positive note and definitely showed the BUCS Premier North that they will be a force to be reckoned with next season.
79-54
Loss against Loughborough