Courier 1313 by The Courier Online

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 18 May 2015 Issue 1313 Free

INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS What foreign students really think of Newcastle and the UK p. 33

The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students

Est 1948

HAVING A GRAPH ALL HANDS ON DECKS Three of Newcastle’s top DJs on how Life in the library, summed up to pick tunes like a champ p. 32

NUSU President slams ‘woeful’ NUS conference

in three pictures p. 14

Union head co-signs letter damning National Conference which “made a mockery of the student movement” Anyone outside of leftist clique was “intimidated”, say Presidents towards opinions diverging from the mainstream of left-leaning opinion. “There needs to be much more effort Newcastle University Students’ Union paid to ensuring the inclusivity of all president Claire Boothman has co- delegates to ensure everyone gets a signed a letter of complaint to the NUS fair chance to contribute, and ensuring from several students’ union Presidents that people aren’t intimidated against challenging the ‘popular’ view,” the from across the country. The letter runs for nearly three pages authors of the letter state. It also cites and has been authored by the President the NUS’ own quality mark and points of Bristol Student Union. It has not yet out that the Union would fail its own been sent to the NUS, but The Courier standards of excellence. The inaccessibility of the conference can reveal exclusive extracts that shed light on the issues and concerns several was another major issue raised by delegates have over how the National the delegates. “The conference days Conference in Liverpool went on this were often long with very few access breaks offered, making year. “The fact that conference a gruelling “As delegates elected by students at our delegates were too and difficult experience even for abled respective Unions, we came to Conference afraid to speak is students,” the letter states. “The number excited to debate a shameful” of complaints made number of motions put forward by Unions from across the particularly by disabled students about country, including our own,” the letter the lack of access requirements being states. “We were looking forward to met by the NUS - including the stressful, contributing to the debate, speaking noisy, intimidating atmosphere - was for and against motions, and most appalling. The fact that delegates were importantly, affecting some real change too afraid to speak, and were “quaking” for our students. However, this didn’t when they did, is shameful. Every student should feel able to participate at happen.” The delegates continue by stating conference and the NUS should go the that they believe the two reasons for extra mile to ensure that.” One of the other criticisms expressed the clunkiness and dysfunctionality of the NUS conference: lack of time in the letter was the inadequacy of the management and the abuse of motions elections for positions in the NUS, with by other delegates “to prevent open the small number of candidates for full-time positions (only two students debate in order to filibuster.” What is described as “the bulk ran for the position of President of the of the complaint” focuses on the NUS), and the voting process, described intimidating, unwelcoming atmosphere as “woeful” and “archaic.” The Presidents of Winchester, Bath of the National Conference. The letter describes prevalent feelings of and Exeter Students’ Unions also cointimidation, fear and intolerance signed the letter.

By Antonia Velikova News Editor

I like it. What is it?: Artists prepare for final degree show Behind-the-scenes photo preview, p. 25

Confusion as tickets for extra Congregation guests sell out within minutes of release By Mark Sleightholm News Editor Students hoping to purchase additional tickets for their Congregations were disappointed at the lack of available tickets. All students were given two tickets for free, but needed to pay for a third. The small number of additional tickets sold out within minutes of release, and students have been told that further tickets are unlikely. King’s Hall, located in the Armstrong Building, opened in 1906 and has been the setting for the Congregations of

generations of Newcastle students, as well as the place where Martin Luther King received his honorary degree in 1967. Lesley Braiden, Director of Student Services and Academic Registrar, said: “The King’s Hall is an intimate and historic venue which provides an excellent location for the University’s Congregation ceremonies. “Unfortunately, the hall does have a limited capacity meaning that all candidates who apply to attend their Congregation ceremony by the prescribed deadline are only able to be guaranteed two (complimentary) guest

tickets within the King’s Hall. “As most students take up this opportunity, this means that there are only a very limited number of additional guest tickets available for the King’s Hall for any graduate wishing to bring more than the two guaranteed guests.” There will be 36 separate Congregation ceremonies, with King’s Hall expected to be full for all of them. Students were unhappy with the attitude of the Examinations and Awards Office. Rosie Bellini, third year Philosophy student, said: “If they saw you buying more all tickets were Continued on page 4

News

thecourieronline.co.uk/news

NEWS

5 7

Investigation: mental health care at Uni Election recap: How did student candidates do?

COMMENT

The Robbo: pain, comfort and weariness

CULTURE

14 15 16 20 34 37

Play some library bingo Blind Date: Alice meets Will Travel: heading to the Ukraine

Get your make-up on À HHN IRU EDOO season Preview: all the movers and shakers at E3 Whale of the week

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

News Editors: Antonia Velikova, Kate Dewey and Mark Sleightholm Online News Editor: Ashley Williams courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News

University hosts human rights forum By Victoria Armstrong Last week, Newcastle University hosted a forum on Colombian human rights, led by members of the Colombia Caravana UK Lawyers Group with contributions from Newcastle-based lawyers. On Monday 11 May, the one-hour discussion was held to launch the Caravana’s report discussing the insufficient protections for human rights and systematic injustice in Colombia. Colombia Caravana is a charity of international human rights lawyers who monitor and raise awareness of the human rights violations that legal professionals and human rights defenders in Columbia suffer. Low-intensity civil war has been ongoing between the government and several paramilitary and guerilla groups since 1964, and so human rights protection is an ever-present concern.

next to massive investment in large port structures and tourism projects.” Alongside Hutchinson, speakers at the event included lawyer Lisa McGrady, and Angela Uribe de Kellett, a Languages lecturer at Newcastle University. Kellett also participated in Colombia Carvana’s 2014 investigation, forming part of the delegation alongside several Newcastle University MA Languages students to aid in translation for the investigation. David Gray, a solicitor and jurist in the 2014 delegation, chaired the event. He commented: “I met with human rights defenders and their clients who increasingly have been caught between the conflicting interests and pressures from Government, paramilitaries, drug and criminal gangs and multinational companies. It is a desperate situation where brave and courageous lawyers deserve our wholehearted respect and support.

“It is vitally important that we all raise awareness of the appalling human rights situation affecting the country to try to support the peace process” In August 2014, Colombia Caravana sent a 68-person delegation of jurists on a week-long investigation into such abuses in various regions of Columbia. It was this investigation, and the subsequent report, which formed the basis for discussion at the Newcastle event. According to the report, lawyers and defenders face a range of difficulties including: threats, attacks, negative stigmatization, frequent obstructions whilst performing their professional duties and having the criminal justice system abused and exercised against them. Sue Willman, Director of the Carvana, noted “Our delegation discovered that lawyers are still dying in Colombia simply for doing their job.” Constant surveillance of human rights professionals by the state intelligence agency was also emphasised. Reportedly, the agency possesses skeleton keys to the homes of high interest lawyers, family members’ photographs, and psychological profiles, amongst other things. Numerous general challenges for victims in obtaining justice were also reported, including bureaucratic and inefficient processes, failure to investigate claims, strong judicial bias and a lack of state resources to fund prosecutions. Joanne Hutchinson, a Caravana coordinator, who spoke at last Monday’s panel, commented on the investigation: “I was shocked to see how local communities are caught in the midst of horrific violence and poverty without access to justice or even to basic services, right

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Email editor. union@ncl.ac.uk for more information.

“As Colombia seeks increasing trade deals with the International Community it is vitally important that we all raise awareness of the appalling human rights situation affecting the country to try to support the peace process, access to justice and bring respect to the rule of law in Colombia.” The report launch also included discussion of how to defend the rights of vulnerable groups, particularly AfroColombian people, indigenous peoples, women and political prisoners. Notable in the report was a sense of hope for the future of human rights during Colombia’s peace talks, which was echoed at the event. It was stated that a focus on the proper implementation of transitional justice and the rule of law would instigate these improvements, also potentially meaning the discovery of truth and reparation for existing victims of flagrant and systemic human rights abuses. Specific enforceable recommendations emerging from debate of the report for legal reforms included victim compensation, land restitution and universal access to the legal system and justice. This is the first time that the Carvana has held an event in Newcastle. The event was principally sponsored by Newcastle University, with additional financing from the Modern Languages Society, Newcastle Law School, Centre for Latin American and Caribbean Studies, and The Real Translation Project.

Editor Tom Nicholson News Editors Antonia Velikova, Kate Dewey, Mark Sleightholm and Ashley Williams Comment Editors Victoria Armstrong, Matt Corden and Ruth Davis Culture Editor Kate Bennett Lifestyle Editors Tom Tibble, Annie Lord, Jack Dempsey and Holly Suttle Fashion Editors Amy O’Rourke, Hannah Fitton and Hannah Goldstein Beauty Editors Charlotte Davies, Charlotte Maxwell and Kathy Davidson Arts Editors Becka Crawshaw, Lucy Chenery and Jess Harman Film Editors David Leighton, Rosie Bellini and George Smith Music Editors Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison TV Editor Helen Daly, Ellie Mclaren and Rebecca Dooley Gaming Editors Sophie Baines and Ben Tyrer Science Editors Penny Polson, Laura Staniforth and Jack Marley Sports Editors Jonty Mawer, Peter Georgiev, Huezin Lim and Josh Nicholson Copy Editors Megan Ayres and Emma Broadhouse

Images: Columbia Caravana The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge. The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s comment pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier

news.3

Monday 18 May 2015

Inspiring Women take centre stage at latest SU conference By Alix Pickles There are far more men called John leading the UK’s biggest companies than there are women. Women write only a fifth of front-page newspaper articles and 84 percent of those articles are dominated by male subjects or experts. And out of the 18,500 professors in the UK, only 17 of these are black women. These are just a few examples of the kind of statistics that prompted Olivia Jeffery, Welfare and Equality Officer’s organization of NUSU’s Inspiring Women Conference on Saturday 9th May. Jeffery said that she got the idea after attending the NUS Women in Leadership conference late last year: “I attended great workshops and heard stories from inspirational speakers, and I really wanted to give the opportunity for students to attend something similar, and gain skills and feel inspired in the same way that I did. “Most people believe that men and women are equal now, and that sexism does not exist. Yes, we have made some improvements from the past, but the stats are real.” The day consisted of keynote speeches, a panellist discussion, workshops and all-day creative sessions, covering a range of issues such as women in STEM subjects, race and sexism, developing entrepreneurial skills and how to communicate with confidence. The conference was kicked off by Rebecca Armstrong, a TEDx speaker, who, after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, founded her own consultancy firm, Sparkle. Armstrong has become an international success, expanding her company to Miami and Madrid. Her motivational opening speech spoke of overcoming the barriers we impose on ourselves. “Realistic goals hold peo-

ple back, aim high!” Armstrong said. The second keynote speech of the day was delivered by Dianne Nelmes, a prominent journalist and producer, who was formerly editor of The Courier and SU president. She launched the show This Morning with Richard and Judy, which went on to become one of the most well-known daytime television programmes. Nelmes said: “I attended the Inspiring Women conference as a speaker but found myself totally ‘inspired’ and, at my advanced age, absorbed many fresh ideas about women and empowerment. “Rebecca Armstrong’s talk was incredible and must have given confidence to many of the young women she addressed. I have attended many conferences— including TED Talks in the USA — and this ranks among the very best in my view.” There was also a panellist discussion attended by all guests, which addressed questions about equality in the workplace, gender pay gaps, women in technology and being able to balance success with a fulfilling family life. Members of the panel were Manika Mittal (Accenture Application Maintenance Analyst), Lindsey Lockey (Director of Membership and Democratic services at NUSU), Jacqui Henderson CBE (Educator and Vice Chair of University Council), Laura Pidcock (Show Racism the Red Card) and Dr Candy Rowe (Chair of the University’s Women Organising Committee). One of the workshops taking place throughout the day was taken by Bridget Hamilton, Newcastle University graduate and the founder of the Verbal Remedy blog and social community. The session focused on feminism and social media

“Everyone felt very empowered and inspired when they left the conference”

“This was a fantastic day that showed the passion and drive of young women across our University”

Rage after charity rave rattles Pop-Up Library By Mark Sleightholm News Editor

Students in the Pop-Up Library were disgruntled on Friday evening when a charity rave in Venue disturbed their work. The gig, Kian Fest 2, saw over 60 DJs come together to raise money for Kian Musgrove, a three-year-old from Newbiggin Hall. Kian was diagnosed with neuroblastoma, a rare and aggressive cancer, in 2013, and has recently returned from the US after receiving pioneering treatment. The event started at 7pm and took place in Venue. Noise levels in parts of the nearby Pop-Up Library reached around 75 decibels, the level of a vacuum cleaner or busy road. The “silent study” areas experienced a constant vibration and rumbling sound that rattled windows and light fittings. Students took to Yik Yak and Twitter

backlashes such as #BeachBodyReady, #NotAllMen and the evermore prominent term ‘Feminazi’. Bridget got the whole room engaged in a lively discussion where everyone shared their own experiences. Another Newcastle University graduate, Brigitte West, cofounder of Beauty by the Geeks, ran another workshop, along with Kellie Forbes-Simpson, Entrepreneurial and Development Officer. This focused on entrepreneurial skills and transforming individual passions into a career. West spoke of the perseverance it takes to run a business: “I’d be lying if I said every day running a business is great, but I just have to ask myself what we would be missing if we stopped now?” Jess Poyner, Feminist Society Secretary and Safiya Robinson, next year’s Racial Equality Officer, provided a workshop which looked at the barriers which women of African, Arab, Asian and Caribbean heritage face due to a combination of racism and sexism. Jeffery explained that the decision to open the conference solely to those who identify as women was based on the idea of providing workshops designed to empower women by equipping them with skills and knowledge in areas that are perhaps under-represented by women. Dr Candy Rowe, Chair of the Women Organising Committee at the University, said, “This was a fantastic day that showed the passion and drive of young women across our University, who aspire to reach the top of their game, whether that be in politics, law, science or business. “ Jeffrey said: “It was so great to see students from all different backgrounds and ages, who all had different stories and questions to ask. The feedback we have received has been amazing, and through the #NUSUwomen on social media, we can see that everyone felt very empowered and inspired when they left the conference.”

to voice their frustration, with many leaving the Pop-Up Library within minutes of the gig starting. Kian Fest 2 followed a smaller gig last year. According to the organisers, several local businesses covered the cost of the event, meaning that all the money raised could go towards the “Caring for Kian” fund. DJ’s playing at Kian Fest 2 included MJ Project and Ultrabeat Showcase. Many of the acts came from the North East, although the event gained support from across the UK. Venue hosts live music events most Friday nights, with the Robinson Library’s official Twitter account often advising students that noise might be a problem in the Pop-Up Library, and even offering free earplugs. There was no specific warning of noise on Friday, although Kian Fest had been extensively publicised on the NUSU website and on social media.

Images: Alix Pickles

New awards for societies By Craig Dingwall

The Society Awards are a new event this year, celebrating the achievements of Newcastle University’s many societies, as recognised by the students. The event was conceived by Amy Macauley, Activities Officer, and the Students’ Union Chief Executive Simon Gerry. Set to take place in the Venue of the Students’ Union on Tuesday 19 May, the Awards give the students a chance to show their appreciation for the hard work of the society frontrunners. There are 10 awards on offer this year for achievements ranging from ‘Best Departmental Society’, to ‘Outstanding Contribution to your Society’, ‘Best Use of Special Grant Money’ and the overall award, ‘Best Society’. Nominations for the shortlisted societies took place before Easter via an online form which was publicised through NUSU Social Media and societies themselves. Any current students

or staff members were able to nominate their chosen societies. Speaking to The Courier, Macauley explained that the Society Awards come “under the wider banner of ‘Celebrating Success’- this includes the new Academic Rep Awards, Community Impact Awards, Society Awards and the Media Awards”. The push to promote the ‘Celebrating Success’ series of events aims to recognise the many achievements of “our hard-working volunteers” that dedicate lots of time and effort to running the societies. The Newcastle University Feminist Society has been nominated for the Outstanding Contribution to Societies award. The criteria for the award states that: “this award recognises those who have dedicated time, energy and commitment to enhancing the student experience through a well-run and inclusive student society.” The newly elected President of the Feminist Society, Safiya Robinson spoke to The Courier about the society being

shortlisted, attributing the success to the hard work of her predecessor and new Vice President, Lucy Morgan. “I have some very big shoes to fill. Lucy has been so successful this year and really managed to achieve so much for us! The amount of time and effort she and Rohan [Kon] put into the Free Periods campaign is honestly so inspirational!” The ‘Free Periods’ campaign was a great success, passing the motion through the Student Council with 100% support and recently credited as inspiration for a similar campaign run at Exeter University. The full list of awards and shortlisted societies is available on the NUSU website. The Awards are predominantly for society members supporting their nominated societies, however Macauley stated that: “if any student is thinking of joining a society next year and is curious about what they do, then sign up and come along while spaces are still available”.

4.news

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Gallery revamp restores Hatton heritage for more student involvement in the Gallery, through volunteering schemes. There will also be more opportunities The Hatton Gallery is set to undergo for students to display their artwork. a £3.5 million refurbishment that will Plans to introduce more natural light restore original features and provide into the gallery areas will also improve more space for exhibitions. the environment. The Gallery will be closed from The refurbishment project has February 2016 until September 2017, attracted widespread support. Sir with some exhibits being temporarily Nicholas Serota, the Director of Tate, displayed in other locations, both visited the Gallery in April, and said: elsewhere on campus and across the “The Hatton Gallery is an incredible city. resource and the plans for the Members of the public are being improvement and development of the encouraged to donate to the fund, Gallery will ensure that it continues to with Arts Council England agreeing play a vital part of the University and to match whatever is raised. the wider community in Charitable trusts and the “There are Newcastle.” Heritage Lottery Fund have The project has also gained also contributed money for issues with the approval of Bryan Ferry, the refurbishment. completed a Fine Art the fabric of who The Gallery is situated degree at Newcastle in the within the King Edward VII the building” 1960s. He said: “My four Building which opened in years at Newcastle University 1911. Julie Milne, Chief Curator, said: Fine Art Department were crucial to my “It’s charming in many ways, but there development as an artist and musician.” are issues with the fabric of the building.” He is now the Lead Patron of the Hatton Much of the project is concerned with Future fundraising campaign, which structural work, including extensive has already raised 95% of the £3.5 restoration or the building’s original million needed for the refurbishment. features. Ferry was taught by Richard Although the Gallery is on campus Hamilton, an influential figure in the and has a close affiliation with the Pop Art movement who also oversaw Fine Art Department, it is part of the transportation of Kurt Schwitters’ the Great North Museum and so is Merzbarn Wall from the Lake District managed by Tyne and Wear Archives to the Hatton Gallery in 1965. The and Museums. It is popular with both Merzbarn Wall is one of many notable students and members of the public, works in the Gallery. and is an important tourist attraction The Gallery was named after its in Newcastle. According to Milne, the founder, Richard Hatton, following his work aims to make the Gallery “more death in 1926. Since then it has grown visible in the city [with] more of a buzz in size, with major extensions in 1967 on campus.” and 1984. In 2012 a new glass entrance The additional funds may allow to the Gallery was added.

By Mark Sleightholm News Editor

Images: Mark Sleightholm

Ticket shortage: “People were obviously very cross” Continued from front page cancelled.” Braiden acknowledged that the Examinations and Awards Office “anticipated” high levels of demand for the additional tickets, but several students felt that the scarcity of the tickets had not been made sufficiently clear beforehand. Eleanor Forster, third year Pharmacology student, said: “The emails sent to us made out that there would be plenty of tickets.” Bellini added: “There was no implication that there would be very few tickets to buy so people were obviously very cross.” Braiden continued: “In order to help cater for the demand for extra guests tickets and to enable as many guests as possible to come and enjoy the celebrations, the University provides a TV Relay Room located near to the King’s Hall which is equipped with a large screen video projection. This provides an excellent live stream of the ceremony for guests before they re-join the graduates to enjoy the postceremony reception.” However, several students raised concerns over having to split their guests up, with only two allowed in King’s Hall and any additional guests having to watch on their own. Bellini said of the TV Relay tickets: “they don’t sound very pleasant as you have to watch the ceremony on a TV screen sat in a room full of strangers.” Forster was unable to buy an additional ticket for King’s Hall, although she could get one for the Relay Room. She said: “I was sitting in the library waiting for 2pm to click on the link and buy a ticket. The link didn’t work and at 14:03

I managed to select a ticket but couldn’t add it to my basket as it said they were no longer available. On the other hand, it was easy to select a ticket for the TV relay room.” She added: “My friend who was also applying for extra tickets had no luck and she rang the Congregation Office. The lady... kept emphasising that there were a limited number of tickets and of course how there were plenty of tickets for the TV Relay Room. “When my friend asked how many ‘limited’ tickets there were she said that there were nine tickets available for our graduation slot.” A delay in the tickets becoming available caused confusion amongst many students, with some blaming their failure to get tickets in time on this. Bellini said: “the layout [of the website] was extremely confusing and the tickets were not under the link provided.” However, Braiden explained that the delay was intentional: “The links that students had been sent appeared not to work during [a] period of two minutes, although it was actually just that the ticket system had not yet quite gone live (i.e. the links were not broken). “The delay was the same for all candidates and therefore no individuals should have been disadvantaged by the delayed start.” She continued: “The Examinations and Awards Office was not made aware of any issues with the system crashing and the system appeared to work effectively as high numbers of candidates were able to successfully purchase extra tickets via this process and no common problems were reported to the Examinations and Awards Office other than in regards to the slightly delayed start time.”

The Courier

news.5

Monday 18 May 2015

‘The wait was over ten weeks’: Uni mental health provisions investigated By Kate Dewey News Editor The Student Advice Centre is the University’s independent organisation designed to lend support and a “sympathetic listening ear” for students on a range of personal matters. For many students, this service is the first port of call for gaining advice and help on issues such as degree-related problems, finance, accommodation, legal information, employment, and personal and family matters. The Student Wellbeing Service (SWS) is the facet of the Student Advice Centre, which covers caring for students’ physical and mental health, providing support for students with mental health illnesses. The issue of mental wellbeing for students has been promoted and spread across campus by the Mind the Gap society, whose annual conference and work throughout the year aims to relieve the stigma surrounding mental health and aid those suffering with mental health illnesses. Beth Watt, Secretary for Mind the Gap, told The Courier: “Student mental health is clearly such a crucial topic […] and we need to work with the student body and experts to improve upon student services and dispel misconceptions.” In 2013 a study carried out by NUS found that 20% of students in UK higher education suffer from a diagnosed mental health problem, and 13% have had suicidal thoughts. At Newcastle, that amounts to roughly 4575 students and 2974 students respectively. The Courier has undertaken an exclusive anonymous survey to gain an insight into student perceptions regarding the Student Wellbeing Service that the University provides. The survey generated an array of opinions based on a range of personal experiences, with the most oft-repeated complaint being the long waits for appointment slots with counsellors. One student said: “I have had an awful experience with Student Wellbeing. I was offered my first appointment four months after first contact, despite my doctor making contact long before this saying she thought I would become a danger to myself. “We were reassured I would get an appointment that week because the seriousness of my situation had increased, yet I only received a generic email about waiting. I told the service when my exams were [...] yet the only

one offered to me was at the exact time that because reception staff had of my exam.” failed to record her initial telephone Despite having made the initial conversation, it meant they had to recall contact in October, the student states everything again to another advisor that provisions to help them with their later on: “it was incredibly difficult degree were not put into place until the going through the traumatic family following April. events that have led to my mental health A third of those who filled out this problems yet again.” survey highlighted this time delay The survey indicated that half of those between initial contact and subsequent respondents who had turned to the therapy as a major problem with the SWS for advice felt “let down”, with a service. student even stating that their “mental One respondent told The Courier: “It condition worsened and a part of this is took [SWS] over two months to even get because it felt like even the people who back to me with an initial assessment are paid to care about me, didn’t. appointment.” “I would never go to Student Wellbeing Despite the centre offering adviser ever again should I have a problem.” hours between 10am and 4pm MondayOne respondent asked the service Friday, bar Wednesday in which contact for help regarding a housemate whose hours are available between 12pm mental wellbeing she was concerned and 6pm, the survey indicated that about, but found the SWS to be “useless”, the service is oversubscribed, as one claiming they provided no advice. student replied: “the services seem over Students also found the service stretched and unequipped to cope with unwelcoming and unapproachable: the volume of students needing their “I felt slightly embarrassed and help. uncomfortable. “The wait was over Despite the signs “The Student ten weeks, during indicating that I which time I was Wellbeing Service are could talk to them struggling.” about personal issues Yet, this trend is working closely with I was instantly told not consistent across the Students’ Union to I was in the wrong all of the responses. place, which made Some students told help break down the me feel even more how the service taboos surrounding upset about the they received was muddle of my mind.” incredibly efficient: mental health issues” However, 25% of “I contacted them the respondents in a pretty desperate state seeking declared they had a wholly positive mental health support, and I quickly experience with the service, and that received a reply. Within a week, I had the therapists and staff were incredibly an assessment where I explained my supportive: “Throughout the process, I situation and was advised on what types felt listened to and supported. It can be of support were available.” very intimidating asking for help, and Lesley Braiden, Director of Student especially making the university aware Services, told The Courier: “The Service of your mental health problems, but offers up to 25 initial appointments […] I’m glad that I reached out to the each week, which are offered to Student Wellbeing Service. I would feel students up to five days in advance entirely comfortable seeking help and and fill up very quickly during busy advice from them again in the future times. When students have tried to should I need it.” get an appointment but find they are Some respondents described the full, the case is passed to Team Leader SWS in glowing terms, though some within SWS who makes an assessment reiterated issues concerning time of whether an extra appointment can delays and problems with accessing be made for that particular student, appointments, as one student said: depending on their individual “My therapist at wellbeing is actually circumstances.” really lovely and luckily I’ve had the six Alongside the problems relating to sessions extended to 12 but I know this possible waiting lists, the survey also doesn’t happen for many people and I flagged up general administration issues feel as though as soon as my 12 sessions occurring within the centre, causing are up then I’ll be quite lost.” increased stress for students. On the subject of waiting times, One survey response asserted Braiden said: “This is a concern for

both students and staff in the SWS, as ideally, of course, it would be good if waiting times could be minimised. The SWS does operate an efficient and speedy service within the constraints of the resources available, and I am pleased to report that, in recognition of the increasing demand for therapy and mental health support from our growing number of students, the University is providing some additional staffing within SWS.” Braiden assured The Courier that the service and staff work to ensure that every available appointment slot is filled. She explained that waiting times for therapy can be affected by factors such as the student’s own availability, the type of therapy required, and some students providing a request for a particular therapist. One of the concerns raised by the survey was the sense that there was no help after the therapy sessions ended. Braiden commented: “It is perhaps important to note that University Services aim to provide support to enable students to continue with their studies, but they are not set up to replace other longer-term services provided by the NHS, the student’s GP, external services, self-help materials etc. Part of the therapy process explores with the student what happens at the end of the therapy, ensuring that the student is aware of ongoing support options. Whilst students are offered up to six sessions per academic year, some do return year on year to the same therapist, and any serious issues arising following the end of therapy are discussed with the Team Leader and other support offered where appropriate.” Despite the dedication and commitment of the SWS staff to provide support for all students who approach the service, the survey responses were not wholly positive. However, Braiden asserts that the Student Advice Centre as a whole is committed to improving its service, and responding to student feedback. She concluded: “I would like to assure your readers that staff in the SWS are dedicated and committed to providing the best service that they possibly can to our students. We are increasing our resources and staffing in response to the growing demand for therapy support, and are working closely with the Students’ Union to help break down the taboos surrounding mental health issues.”

cation Policy) and Mr Steve Humble (Teaching Fellow Secondary PGCE Maths). Mitra explained what the TED conference is about and the importance of it: “TED events are where creative people tell their stories - in 18 minutes. Stories that can sometimes change your life, stories that can sometimes change the world.” Past TED speakers have included Roger Ebert, Sheryl Sandberg, Bill Gates, Elizabeth Gilbert, Benoit Mandelbrot, Philippe Starck, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Brian Greene, Isabel Allende and former UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

free licenses to people around the world to organize TED-style events in their communities with TED Talks and live

Student responses to the survey “During my therapy I was recommended to contact the rape crisis centre which is fine and everything but it felt as though I was opening up to someone just to be passed along to somebody else, which is exhausting.” “No one acted like I needed pity and I was found a solution that would work for me, despite all my hesitations about using the service. I had been to other places that offer similar services in the past and not been treated nearly so well.” “If it wasn’t for my personal tutor and an outside mental health charity, I probably wouldn’t have continued with uni.” “I was emailed to say I needed a doctor’s note to prove I’d been sick for more than 6 months. This wasn’t helpful because at the time, contacting the hospital or doctors felt like the biggest effort in the world. For this reason I was deterred from using the service because I just wanted someone to tell me what to do. I didn’t have the strength to do things by myself.” “I sought help from Wellbeing and was assigned sessions with a wonderful lady whose support was invaluable. I would never have received such quick or excellent service if I had visited my local GP.” “I had numerous suicidal ideations in my first year and I still have them now (in my third year). I can now formally attribute this to my depression. But it seems appalling to me that the University was okay with just leaving me completely in the dark while I was blatantly struggling with my personal issues on their waiting list.”

Second TEDx conference in July By Ghangaa Mano

Following last year’s success, a TEDx (Technology, Entertainment and Design) conference is happening in Newcastle again this July with an impressive line-up of speakers. Video and live speakers come together to spur deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx. The representatives speaking from Newcastle University are Prof. Sugata Mitra (Professor of Educational Technology and $1m TED prize winner), Prof. James Tooley (Professor of Edu-

The difference between TED and TEDx events are that the former takes more of a global approach while the lat-

“TED events tell stories that can sometimes change your life, stories that can sometimes change the world” ter typically focuses on a local community that concentrates on local voices. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events aim to bring people together to share a TED-like experience. The TEDx initiative grants

speakers. More than 5,000 TEDx events have been held, and selected talks from these events are also turned into TED Talks videos. TED is a nonprofit organization dedicated to ‘Ideas Worth Spreading’ and it was introduced in California 25 years

ago as a four-day conference where Technology, Entertainment and Design converged. However today, it covers almost all topics — from science to business to global issues — in more than 100 languages. TED has grown to support those world-changing ideas with various initiatives. The talks from the annual TED Conference are available for free, at TED. com. The TEDx Newcastle will be happening on Sunday, 5th July 2015 at the Great North Musuem: Hancock. The full line-up and tickets are available at http://tedxnewcastle.com.

The Courier

newsfeature.7

Monday 18 May 2015

Student politicians: how did they do?

17 students from Newcastle and Northumbria stood for election to Newcastle City Council on 7 May. Six candidates spoke to News Editor Mark Sleightholm about their election experiences

Thomas Targett

Thomas came fifth for the Greens in Dene Nationally, we kept our seat in Brighton, as well as pushing for Bristol West and Norwich, which we had hoped to obtain. From a seats perspective, it wasn’t a very successful election in my

opinion. However, if we had a fairer and more representative voting system, such as PR, we’d have 25 green MPs in the Houses of Parliament now, so I think even if it does mean UKIP get a few more seats than anyone would like, Friday morning only enhanced our case for proportional representation. Locally: again, we were hurt by FPTP, but we doubled our votes in South Heaton, and for the first time ever we stood in 23 of Newcastle’s 26 seats. Ouseburn gave us a particular surprise with over 700 votes and is likely to be a target seat for future elections. The Green Party is growing. We didn’t get a seat on the local council this election, but it’s progress that we were able to stand in almost every seat in Newcastle. When we get that first foot into local government I have every confidence that we’ll go from strength to strength by demonstrating good local government. The age of our candidates could’ve perhaps been a hindrance in certain areas like my own in Dene, but it would’ve also possibly been a massive boost in student populations such as South Jesmond and Ouseburn. It’s very difficult to say, particularly in local elections, where if there isn’t a great deal of time for canvassing, people can’t investigate the candidate all that much.

Shawkat Al-baghdadi Shawkat stood for Ukip in Westgate and came fourth, winning 8% of the vote This election was Ukip’s first serious election attempt in the region and with that came many challenges. As a grass-roots movement, we didn’t have much funding, nor did we have an experienced campaign team. All our movements were purely driven by each regular member’s motivation to create change in politics. Whilst we didn’t win any seats, to have come second in a good number of wards and increased our overall vote share significantly is a an achievement which all branch members can be proud of. My campaign approach was to assist the party in all regions, rather than specifically focus on my own ward (this is due to having limited resources). So within this context, I engaged in two hustings debates at schools in the wider area and in both cases, was the youngest candidate on the panel. I received very positive feedback in both debates and perhaps this was assisted by my age; especially in a party surrounded by the false idea that we only appeal to very old voters, I was

able to prove that as usual, there is more to Ukip than the media will make out. These specific events may or may not have had an effect on our overall vote share. I have not been involved with Ukip in Newcastle for long enough to make predictions about the future, but on a nation-wide scale, Ukip made significant gains in council elections in 2014. That trend continued this year when we took control of our first council and I expect we will continue to make big gains in 2016. I do not expect to be standing again in Newcastle as I will be relocating for a job that I’ll be starting later this year. [In terms of policies for students] Ukip would eliminate tuition fees for students studying STEM subjects. However, for the rest of the student population, we believe that the reason fees are so high is because demand is so high for university education. Ukip believes there has been an unnecessary push to create a culture where the only acceptable thing to do

Cat Lyth

Green candidate Cat came fourth and won 6% of the vote in Byker Representing the Green Party in the local council elections has been an insightful and enjoyable experience which I would love to have the opportunity to repeat in the future. As a candidate I had to collect signatures from people living in Byker ward and I met some fantastic people while doing so, as well as learning a lot about the needs of the local community. If you have the opportunity to get involved with local politics, whatever the party, I would strongly recommend you do so, as I’ve learnt loads about politics which I hope will be useful in my future. I’m also so glad to have been given the chance to stand for what I believe in.

Cameron Christian

Cameron won 17% of the vote in Ouseburn for the Greens, coming in third place Nationally, over 1.1m votes is impressive if you consider we are a ‘minor party’. The SNP only needed 1.4m to give them 56 seats, yet sadly, Caroline Lucas still hasn’t got a lunch buddy for another five years. However, it creates a stronger argument for electoral reform which the Young Greens of Newcastle are firm supporters of. Locally, however, I feel really encouraged, with the Greens bagging 8.7% of the vote for Newcastle East and getting over 1000 votes in our target ward of South Heaton. In Ouseburn and South Jesmond Green student candidates made incredible gains, and the Young Greens hope they will become target wards for the next local election. It’s a positive result, one which lays a strong foundation for the Green Party

to build on, especially with the support of many young people, which is reflected in the vote share in South Heaton, Jesmond and Ouseburn and the attendance of our weekly Greentings. Personally, I think the creation of the Young Greens (with many driven members), the general increase in the Newcastle Green Party membership and the outcome of the General Election will result in much more visible campaigning. We are hoping to sort out a decent sound system and sustainable power source for the next academic year. Through this we can demonstrate what we believe in, especially under such crucial times as the next five years will be. And I’m confident we’ll see another surge in our society membership after Freshers’ Week 2015/16.

South Jesmond saw the presidents of the Young Greens and Conservative societies go head to head. Labour won the seat, but Sam came second and Robert third, the two just 82 votes apart

after leaving A Level studies is to go to university and this has driven many who are not naturally inclined to take a three year academic course to do so. Ukip would remove the 50% target for students to go to university, and instead encourage more students to take specialised courses in specific trades and skills which are a far cheaper, quicker and more effective way to get the skills a person needs to enter an industry of their choice. Alongside this, Ukip would make an effort to incentivise companies to provide more apprenticeships and for more young people to take them up. This would lower demand for university, and those who truly desire to go to university will not have to pay such high fees, and those who are better off outside university will be able to succeed through alternative routes. The single most important question that faces our country is whether or not we should govern ourselves, or give up democracy and sovereignty to an un-elected commission of politicians whose names no one knows, who don’t have any relationship with the UK, never appear on media for scrutiny and for whom there is no mechanism by which they can be expelled by the people of Europe. The European Commission is tyranny by stealth. It may not appear like it now, but for decades it has been taking more power from Westminster and that process is accelerating. No social or economic benefit is worth the sacrifice of democracy. In no other region in the world are nations asked to give up their ability to govern themselves in order to simply trade together.

Robert Magowan

I think it’s all about building for us. Quadrupling our votes here in Newcastle is fantastic but we’ve got to start converting this widespread support into seats, which is very difficult to do under an electoral system that favours larger parties. Next year’s local elections will be a fantastic opportunity though – in general election years the vote for Labour and the Tories shoots up, as many just automatically cross the box without thinking what that local candidate is offering their community. It’s clear through the campaigns we have run that we’re offering something a lot different at the local level, something that makes a lot of sense to students in particular, so we’ve got to make sure we keep getting that message out!

Sam Lee

I think the Conservative team performed well in the city, I was impressed with the level of support I received in South Jesmond and was encouraged yet frustrated with how close we came in Gosforth. I think people are fundamentally tired of Labour year in year out in Newcastle; old bonds may be tough but I believe we’re making real progress. The general election makes a big difference [to the Council results]. It becomes evident not just in participation but also in getting out the background Tory vote. We seem to be getting closer each year, so I’d say ‘watch this space’. I did see that poll which claimed Newcastle University has more students identifying with the Conservatives than any other party, which does really help. Plus students for students is always an enticing quality. The reality, though, is that North and South Jesmond are carefully constructed wards; the Conservative vote is split in half. The student nature helps, but not as much as serious boundary reform would.

8.news

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Chairman takes on Alps in charity challenge

a healthy life.” The cycle route is 450 miles, covers 14 mountains, and over the eight days Most people would celebrate their sixti- in which I’Anson hopes to complete the eth birthday with a party, but the Chair- task, he will climb 15,000 metres – the man of Council and Pro-Chancellor equivalent of riding from sea level to the for Newcastle University has decided summit of Everest, twice. to mark his sixtieth by embarking on a The route I’Anson will be taking uses challenging cycle ride across the Alps. the same hills as the Tour de France Mark I’Anson will be cycling the cycling competition, and as the ProRoute des Grandes Alpes in July in or- Chancellor said: “it remains a major der to raise money for Ageing Research challenge to cycle”. at Newcastle University. The course bears an interesting hisThe research, “Living Better for Long- tory; in the early 1900s it was created er”, aims to improve the quality of life by French car manufacturers competing for the elderly as life expectancy con- to show that their cars were the best at tinues to increase. Yet, as driving over tricky terlife expectancy is rising, rain. “What we want diseases such as Cancer, I’Anson has been trainDementia, Diabetes and is a healthy life” ing for the expedition other age-associated illand undertaking fitness nesses are also on the increase. The Uni- tests in the University’s Movelab, part of versity’s research, funded by the Medi- the Institute for Ageing and Health. cal Research Council (MRC) looks to In February, I’Anson undertook an mediate this, enabling people to not just exercise test at the University’s exercise live longer, but healthier. centre to target his areas of weakness for I’Anson’s is not a newcomer to big cy- further training. Considering that five cling challenges. In 2011 he cycled the of the mountains I’Anson plans to climb Cyclone, a 105mile ride in Northum- are categorised as ‘Hors Categorie’ berland. (HC), meaning ‘beyond categorisation’ Speaking exclusively to The Courier, in the system which rates the difficulty I’Anson said of the challenge: “it is one of a climb, I’Anson recognises the enorI’ve been thinking of doing for myself mity of the cycle: “I’m confident that I for a long time […] seeing as I turned could ride over any one of the moun60 this year I thought if I don’t do it now tains on its own… but two in one day, I never will”. everyday, is daunting.” He continued by saying that it seemed He finished the interview by saying: “blindingly obvious” for him to do the “I’m really looking to it but at the same challenge now and for Ageing Research. time I’m unsure if I’ll be able to com“The point is life expectancy is going plete it, it’s harder than anything I’ve up incredibly fast and has been doing ever done before”. for the last 100 years… but we actually You can sponsor I’Anson at: https:// don’t want to live forever if we’re crip- www.justgiving.com/Route-des-Grandepled or got dementia. What we want is Alpes.

By Kate Dewey News Editor

BIKING BIRTHDAY: Mark I’Anson spends the day before his 60th in Movelab. Image: Mike Urwin

The Courier

news.9

Monday 18 May 2015

Leading pollster lectures on election results and created an interest in politics that people have never really seen before,” Professor Curtice said, considering One of the things the 7 May general Scotland now to be, politically: “a naelection confirmed, said Professor John tion apart”. Curtice last week, is that: “British poliHe stated that there is “one very simtics doesn’t exist anymore.” ple answer” to why the Conservatives Britain’s leading psephologist ana- won, noting that a seven-point lead was lysed the election’s outcomes and conse- not enough to deliver an overall majorquences to a packed lecture theatre last ity to the Conservative party in 2010. week as part of Newcastle University’s “Why was it this time? It was because INSIGHTS public lecture series. they were able to get seats off the Liberal Professor Curtice’s well-received talk Democrats...[who] were destroyed by came a week after the election which the election.” delivered the first majority government He also attributed the Tory majority for a decade and marked the end of win to Labour’s failure to offer an effeccoalition government. The election also tive alternative. resulted in the He stated that “One attendee said the Britain will most first Conservative government talk left her ‘reassured’ likely vote to resince 1992, going main in the EU, against predic- after feeling ‘frightened’ providing that tions of a hung Prime Minister since the election” parliament. David Cameron In what was the penultimate IN- strikes an adequate deal. SIGHTS lecture of the term, the ‘king In attendance was Newcastle Central of polls’ delivered to the audience an in- Labour MP Chi Onwurah, who asked formative, and occasionally humorous Professor Curtice if there was a movelecture which broke down the election ment to have transparency in polling results in an easy-to-digest manner, as data and how it is distributed. Professor Curtice said: “Sometimes Professor Curtice responded: “One these things are a bit difficult to get your of the things that the inquiry will look hands on.” One attendee said the talk at is whether those transparency releft her “reassured” after feeling “fright- quirements need to be enhanced or ened” since the election. developed in any way. But basically, The University of Strathclyde-based everything a pollster does these days is pollster touched on a range of topics, available.” including debates which have emerged His reference was to the independent about how Britain is governed, uncer- inquiry into election poll accuracy, aftainty over Britain’s future within the ter most polls failed to predict the ConEU, and the impact of the Scottish ref- servative lead over the Labour party. erendum. Professor Curtice concluded by say“There is no doubt that the referen- ing that by 2020: “we’ll still be arguing dum in Scotland has energised people about how we are governed.”

By Ashley Williams Online News Editor

Image: Ashley Williams

Irish student crowned ‘rose of Newcastle’

president. They were also captivated by her musical talents, as she is able to play seven instruments, including the fidFourth year Speech and Language Sci- dle, tin whistle, flute banjo, accordion, ences student Katherine McConville piano and mandolin. Katherine’s family has been competing in The Rose of flew over from Ireland for the occasion Tralee International Festival, represent- and were proud to watch her interview, ing Newcastle and Gateshead. It is one traditional fiddle performance and her of Ireland’s oldest and largest festivals, crowning. The Irish Dance Society also now in its 56th year. At the heart of the attended the selection evening, which festival is a nationwide search for the took place at Jurys Inn, Gateshead, and next young, Irish woman to be an am- performed a flashmob. bassador for Ireland in the coming year. Katherine said that she was “overKatherine has been competing in or- whelmed” with having won and that der to be chosen as the representative it was “like a dream having won such for the Newcastle/Gateshead area. In a prestigious event”. Having been inorder to do this, she had to complete an terested in The Rose since childhood, application form Katherine had and go through a become used “It would be a dream watching the fitonumber of intercome true to be an views. She was put nals on TV every through a vigorous August and is now ambassador for the completion process speechless that she in which she was Irish people worldwide will be competing interviewed by a in the finals this and to promote my panel of judges, folAugust. culture and heritage” coming lowed by having to Katherine will engage in a group compete against debate with other competitors regard- other ‘roses’ from across the world and ing topical issues in today’s society. go through the same selection process This was then followed by an on-stage as previously. The winner of these finals interview, in front of family and friends. will travel the world for a year, repreAt all stages, the judges assess applicants senting Ireland at a number of events on their communication, confidence, and acting as an ambassador. academic capabilities and personal When considering what it would appearance. The competitor with the be like to win the overall completion, highest score following this process is Katherine said: “It would be a dream the rose of their city and Katherine was come true to be an ambassador for the named the rose of Newcastle/Gateshead Irish people worldwide and to promote on 26 April 2015. my culture and heritage and make the Judges were particularly impressed by Irish people and my family proud”. The Katherine’s “pride in the Irish culture” competition is based on a love song, the and her strong involvement with the lyrics of which can be found on the fesIrish Dance Society, as their reigning tival website: roseoftralee.ie

By Charlotte Maxwell

Images: Katherine McConville

10.nationalstudentnews

Monday 18 May 2015

NEWSTACK Elections cancelled Hertfordshire

Job Â Title: Â Lâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Oreal Â Brand Â Ambassadors Â Employer: Â Lâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Oreal Â UK Â Ltd Closing Â date: Â 31/06/15 Â Salary: Â ÂŁ9.00 Â per Â hour Â Basic Â job Â description: Â You Â will Â work Â exclusively Â for Â Lâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Oreal Â to Â promote Â career Â opportunities, Â events Â and Â skill Â sessions Â on Â campus Â from Â September Â 2015 Â on-Â wards. Â Activities Â you Â may Â get Â involved Â with Â include: Â Event Â promotion Â and Â attendance Â â&#x20AC;&#x201C;even Â event Â ideas Â and Â creation, Â Social Â media Â promotion Â â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Â Facebook, Â Twitter Â and Â Instagram, Â Society Â engagement Â â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Â make Â sure Â you Â tell Â us Â about Â your Â society Â involvement Â and Â how Â you Â would Â use Â these Â to Â help Â make Â the Â campaign Â a Â thriving Â success, Â Marketing Â material Â dis-Â WULEXWLRQ Âą IURP Ă&#x20AC; \HUV WR SRVWHUV WR IUHHELHV 'DWD capture Â -Â Â types Â of Â societies Â we Â would Â be Â interested Â in Â working Â in, Â demographic Â of Â students Â on Â different Â courses Â and Â much Â more! Â Person Â requirements: Â We Â are Â looking Â for Â Brand Â Ambassadors Â who Â meet Â the Â following Â requirements: Â Ambitious Â and Â interested Â in Â a Â career Â with Â Lâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Oreal, Â 3DVVLRQDWH HQMR\V QHWZRUNLQJ FRQÂż GHQW DUWLFXODWH and Â reliable, Â able Â to Â commit Â up Â to Â 20 Â hours Â to Â the Â campaign Â (may Â vary Â per Â campus), Â from Â October Â 2015 Â to Â February Â 2016. Location: Â On Â Campus Â Job Â Title: Â Newcastle Â Work Â Experience Â â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Â Program-Â PLQJ 6XSSRUW 2IÂż FHU Employer: Â Newcastle Â University Â Closing Â date: Â 25/05/15 Â Salary: Â ÂŁ1200 Â Bursary Â Â Basic Â job Â description: Â The Â Faculty Â of Â Medical Â Sci-Â ences Â Learning Â and Â Teaching Â Support Â Unit Â are Â look-Â ing Â to Â develop Â a Â database Â that Â will Â store Â and Â manage Â the Â dissemination Â of Â information Â to Â staff Â across Â the Â Faculty. Â This Â placement Â will Â work Â with Â our Â existing Â developers Â over Â the Â summer Â on Â a Â standalone Â project Â to Â develop Â a Â communication Â database Â that Â will Â LQYROYH 'DWDEDVH GHVLJQ :HE 'HYHORSPHQW FRGLQJ and Â testing), Â Project Â management Â meetings, Â Crea-Â WLRQ RI XVHU JXLGHV 'DWD PDQLSXODWLRQ LPSRUW DQG export Â of Â datasets) Â and Â any Â other Â tasks Â as Â agreed Â with Â the Â placement Â student. Person Â requirements: Â The Â ideal Â candidate Â will Â have Â a Â solid Â programming Â background Â and Â will Â have Â H[SHULHQFH RI ZRUNLQJ LQ 3\WKRQ DQG RU 'MDQJR XV ing Â HTML, Â CSS, Â and Â JS Â frameworks Â for Â developing Â responsive Â projects. Â They Â will Â be Â an Â excellent Â com-Â municator Â with Â self-Âmotivation Â and Â the Â ability Â work Â in Â a Â team Â environment. Â They Â must Â be Â available Â to Â work Â from Â our Â base Â in Â Ridley Â Building Â 1 Â on Â campus Â during Â the Â summer, Â exact Â start Â and Â end Â dates Â to Â be Â agreed Â with Â the Â candidate. Location: Â Newcastle Â University Â Campus Â Job Â Title: Â Â Bar Â Staff Â Employer: Â The Â Northumberland Â Club Â &ORVLQJ 'DWH Salary: Â NMW Â Basic Â job Â description: Â We Â require Â a Â proactive, Â energetic Â individual Â for Â a Â part Â time Â bar Â role Â at Â a Â premium Â racquets Â club. Â The Â Northumberland Â Club Â is Â situated Â in Â West Â Jesmond Â and Â is Â the Â premium Â site Â for Â racquets Â sports Â in Â the Â North Â East. Â The Â role Â is Â part Â time Â and Â shift Â based. Â The Â shifts Â can Â vary Â from Â daytime Â to Â evening Â and Â weekends, Â so Â the Â candidate Â PXVW EH Ă&#x20AC; H[LEOH Person Â requirements: Â Bar/catering Â experience Â is Â de-Â sirable Â but Â not Â essential Â as Â full Â training Â will Â be Â given. Location: Â The Â Northumberland Â Club, Â Jesmond. Job Â Title: Â Newcastle Â Work Â Experience Â -Â Â E-Âjournal Â :HEVLWH 'HYHORSHU Employer: Â Newcastle Â University Â &ORVLQJ 'DWH Salary: Â ÂŁ700 Â Bursary Â Â Basic Â job Â description: Â Located Â in Â School Â of Â Modern Â Languages, Â the Â Translating Â and Â Interpreting Â section Â is Â dedicated Â to Â training Â of Â translators Â and Â interpret-Â ers Â as Â well Â as Â research Â in Â Translating Â and Â Interpret-Â ing. Â As Â part Â of Â our Â future Â development Â in Â research, Â we Â plan Â to Â set Â up Â an Â e-Âjournal Â where Â post-Âgraduate Â research Â students Â can Â submit Â and Â share Â their Â work-Â ing Â papers Â with Â other Â researchers. Â We Â are Â looking Â for Â a Â website Â developer Â to Â help Â us Â with Â the Â design Â and Â set-Âup Â of Â the Â new Â PG Â e-Âjournal Â website. Â The Â placement Â student Â will Â design Â the Â structure Â of Â the Â website Â according Â to Â our Â needs Â and Â identify Â techni-Â FDO VSHFLÂż FDWLRQV FRPPXQLFDWH ZLWK 18,7 DQG RU RXU ,7 RIÂż FHU IRU SRWHQWLDO LVVXHV GHYHORS WKH ZHE site, Â which Â includes Â links Â for Â contacts, Â submission, Â DUFKLYH LVVXHV HWF DQG Âż QDOO\ WHVW WKH ZHEVLWH Person Â requirements: Â Excellent Â website Â design Â and Â development Â skills, Â excellent Â communication Â skills, Â problem-Âsolving Â skills, Â a Â sense Â of Â responsibility, Â VHOI PRWLYDWLRQ DQG FRQÂż GHQFH WR ZRUN LQGLYLGX ally Â and Â with Â academic Â staff Â and Â a Â detail-Âoriented Â mindset. Location: Â On Â Campus Â Job Â description: Â Â Newcastle Â Work Â Experience Â â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Â Soft-Â ZDUH 'HYHORSHU Employer: Â Agility Â Software Â

Closing Â date: Â 25/05/15 Â Salary: Â ÂŁ1200 Â Bursary Â Â Basic Â job Â description: Â Agility Â Software Â is Â a Â software Â development Â company. Â We Â specialise Â in Â the Â develop-Â ment Â of Â software Â systems Â for Â the Â retail Â space Â and Â provide Â solutions Â across Â a Â variety Â of Â different Â retail Â sectors. Â The Â role Â will Â see Â you Â assigned Â to Â a Â series Â of Â small, Â purposely Â tailored Â development Â projects Â to Â be Â completed Â under Â the Â guidance Â of Â our Â senior Â software Â developers. Â You Â will Â be Â required Â to Â work Â on Â assigned Â projects, Â take Â part Â in Â milestone Â meetings Â with Â a Â senior Â developer Â and Â participate Â in Â the Â daily Â running Â of Â the Â business. Person Â requirements: Â We Â need Â someone Â who Â is Â VHOI PRWLYDWHG DQG FDSDEOH RI ZRUNLQJ SURÂż FLHQWO\ with Â minimal Â supervision. Â You Â will Â demonstrate Â good Â analytical Â thinking Â skills Â and Â a Â positive Â attitude Â to Â self-Âlearning. Â The Â following Â technologies Â must Â have Â EHHQ FRYHUHG DV SDUW RI \RXU FRXUVH 'HYHORSPHQW of Â Windows-Âbased Â applications Â or Â components Â built Â on Â the Â Microsoft Â .NET Â framework Â utilising Â program-Â ming Â languages Â such Â as Â VB Â and/or Â C#, Â Microsoft Â SQL Â Server Â and Â the Â T-ÂSQL Â language. Location: Â Newcastle Â upon Â Tyne Â Job Â Title: Â Activities Â Assistant Â (2 Â posts) Â Employer: Â Newcastle Â University Â Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Â Union Â &ORVLQJ 'DWH Salary: Â ÂŁ7.28 Â per Â hour Â -Â Â including Â holiday Â pay Â Basic Â job Â description: Â An Â opportunity Â has Â arisen Â IRU WZR VXLWDEO\ TXDOLÂż HG SHRSOH WR EH DSSRLQWHG WR positions Â within Â Newcastle Â University Â Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Â Un-Â ion. Â These Â posts Â are Â responsible Â for Â the Â delivery Â of Â the Â Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Â Unionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Â comprehensive Â programme Â of Â one-Âoff Â sporting, Â social, Â sporting Â and Â cultural Â events Â and Â activities, Â mainly Â the Â Give Â It Â A Â Go Â and Â Go Â Play Â programmes. Â Hours: Â Part Â time Â (2 Â positions) Â up Â to Â 10 Â hours Â per Â week Â during Â 10 Â weeks Â of Â term Â in Â term Â 1 Â and Â 7 Â weeks Â of Â term Â 2. Person Â requirements: Â The Â successful Â candidates Â will Â possess Â excellent Â interpersonal, Â organisation, Â and Â communication Â skills, Â be Â very Â friendly Â and Â approachable, Â and Â actively Â seek Â engagement Â with Â other Â students. Â Experience Â of Â organising Â events Â and Â activities Â is Â essential Â and Â the Â successful Â candidate Â must Â be Â able Â to Â work Â on Â their Â own Â initiative. Location: Â Newcastle Â University Â Students Â Union Job Â Title: Â Newcastle Â Work Â Experience Â â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Â Marketing Â Assistant Â Employer: Â Peacocks Â Medical Â Group &ORVLQJ 'DWH Salary: Â ÂŁ1200 Â bursary Basic Â job Â description: Â Peacocks Â is Â a Â medical Â sup-Â plies Â company Â based Â in Â Newcastle. Â We Â manufacture Â and Â supply Â bespoke Â orthotic Â products Â such Â as Â insoles Â and Â braces Â to Â the Â NHS Â and Â supply Â capital Â HTXLSPHQW VXFK DV :DVKHU 'LVLQIHFWRUV DQG 6WHULOLV ers Â to Â hospitals Â and Â dental Â practises. Â We Â also Â have Â a Â small Â retail Â outlet Â in Â the Â city Â centre Â near Â to Â the Â Uni-Â versity Â which Â is Â shortly Â due Â to Â undergo Â a Â re-Âbrand. Â The Â key Â objective Â of Â the Â placement Â will Â be Â to Â support Â the Â Marketing Â Manager Â across Â the Â business. Â Person Â requirements: Â Ideally Â from Â a Â marketing Â and Â communications Â degree, Â we Â are Â looking Â for Â a Â candidate Â with Â excellent Â writing Â and Â analytical Â skills, Â knowledge Â of Â updating Â content Â on Â websites, Â using Â digital Â platforms Â and Â a Â good Â eye Â for Â detail. Â Location: Â Newcastle Â upon Â Tyne Â -RE 7LWOH 1HZFDVWOH :RUN ([SHULHQFH Âą 'LJLWDO 6LJQDJH 'HYHORSHU (PSOR\HU %H\RQG 'LJLWDO 6ROXWLRQV /WG &ORVLQJ 'DWH 6DODU\ Â&#x2026; EXUVDU\ %DVLF MRE GHVFULSWLRQ %H\RQG 'LJLWDO 6ROXWLRQV LV D digital Â communications Â integrator Â providing Â â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;end Â to Â endâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Â solutions Â for Â clients. Â This Â includes Â consulting Â with Â customers Â about Â their Â digital Â signage Â needs Â and Â sourcing Â suitable Â new Â technology Â and Â products. Â After Â designing Â a Â signage Â solution, Â hardware Â and Â VRIWZDUH VROXWLRQV DUH PDWFKHG WR WKLV QHHG %'6 also Â create Â and Â design Â creative Â content Â required Â for Â the Â screens. Â The Â in Â house Â engineers Â install Â the Â solution Â and Â clients Â are Â supported Â with Â an Â SLA. Â You Â will Â be Â responsible Â for Â the Â technical Â build Â of Â digital Â signs. Â You Â will Â be Â creating, Â managing, Â (including Â as-Â set Â gathering Â and Â scope Â control), Â and Â implementing Â quality Â signage Â systems Â for Â our Â clients. Â Responsible Â for Â the Â functionality Â of Â the Â signs, Â you Â will Â work Â with Â the Â creative Â team Â to Â achieve Â professional, Â attractive Â and Â user Â friendly Â signs. Â Knowledge Â of Â variables Â and Â expressions Â would Â be Â an Â advantage. Person Â requirements: Â *A Â solid Â understanding Â of Â XML Â and Â XSL Â stylesheet, Â *Experience Â with Â programming Â and/or Â scripting Â languages, Â particularly Â those Â that Â relate Â to Â UI Â design Â and Â system Â administration Â includ-Â ing;Íž Â C++, Â Python/VB Â HTML, Â Flash, Â Javascript, Â SQL, Â Administration, Â networking Â for Â MS Â Windows Â and Â Mac Â OSX, Â *Experience Â with Â graphic Â editing Â software Â applications, Â such Â as Â Adobe Â Suite, Â *Attention Â to Â detail Â is Â essential Â and Â much Â more. Â Location: Â Newcastle Â upon Â Tyne Â

Elections for Hertfordshire Universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Students Union team have been cancelled 30 minutes before their anticipated announcing due to whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been reported as â&#x20AC;&#x153;suspicious voting activity.â&#x20AC;? The announcement left many candidates heartbroken at home after weeks of tough campaigning. As it was not possible to isolate voting results that were compromised, it was decided that the elections would be rerun. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I am absolutely gutted for the candidates as I know they put such hard work into running good campaigns in the Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Union Elections,â&#x20AC;? said Gupreet Singh, current elected president of Hertfordshire Students Union. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have experienced running in several elections myself and I completely understand how the candidates must feel. It is such a difficult time full of hard work, fun, emotions, tiredness; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all very full on.â&#x20AC;?

Open day fees protests Durham

Demonstrators from Durham university have been protesting against rising accommodation fees for Durham students on the universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s open days. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We believe that if the University wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t listen to its current students, it will listen to applicants considering coming to Durham. Potential students have the right to be informed of the issues surrounding accommodation fees in Durham,â&#x20AC;? said William Pinkney-Baird, one of the demonstrators. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The more students raise these issues with the University, the more likely that something will be done. If the University does not respond to our demands, we have plans in place to escalate our campaign over the next term.â&#x20AC;? The university offered a statement, saying: â&#x20AC;&#x153;As a University we have been transparent about our costs and remain competitive in terms of our accommodation pricing.â&#x20AC;? The protests were organised by Durham Students for University Reform.â&#x20AC;?

The Courier

Sabb Â highlights This Â week, Â News Â Editor Â Kate Â Dewey Â chats Â to Â the Â current Â President, Â Welfare Â and Â Equality Â 2IÂż FHU DQG (GXFDWLRQ 2IÂż FHU

Claire Â Boothman

NUSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TAKE ME OUT: Image: Cat Schroeter Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been your highlight of being President? Being President I have had incredible access to top level people within the university which no other student gets and those meetings can really give you influence in decision making which I have loved. However, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actually the days spent in the office with the sabbatical officer team that are some of my best. The team have been my highlight throughout the year. What do you think are your best achievements? Representation and funding for societies in Singapore, rent freezes at Henderson and increasing student numbers on the electoral register have all been achievements, but my favourite is actually the reinvention of the community exec group which I feel will now go on to make impact out in contentious resident/student areas. Any words of advice for your successor? When at University social occasions always pick white/rose instead of red wine..... red wine lips.

Olivia Â Jeffrey

Concealing research Warwick

Investigation has revealed that BP Archives at the University of Warwick are only open up to 1976, potentially withholding files containing research into renewable energies. The reveal was made by a company spokesman, who confirmed at BPâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Annual General Meeting (AGM) on Thursday 16 April, that no material collated over the last 40 years had been made available to the public. This information has also been confirmed by the BPâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s press office. A group of representatives representatives of Fossil-Free Warwick, came together with the intention of finding out whether the files were unavailable and why. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The University of Warwick has a lot of questions to answer,â&#x20AC;? said Warwickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Democracy and Development officer. BP chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg stated: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nothing is locked away. We share everything happilyâ&#x20AC;?

LGBT week: Image: LGBT+ society What has been your favourite welfare project? What Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve loved so much about being Welfare and Equality Officer, is organising events and campaigns that involve the help of so many great student volunteers. It wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be possible without them and their enthusiasm is what makes them so successful. Back in February, I organised the first LGBT+ Awareness Week with the LGBT+ Officer Luke and I think what made it work so well was how committed and passionate the volunteers were to educate students. That goes for the other campaigns that have happened in the year: SHAG week, the Mind the Gap conference and the Inspiring Women conference. They wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have been able to go ahead without amazing, committed and enthusiastic volunteers. And of course without all the help and support from the best ever sabb team.

League table drop

David Â Morris

Cardiff

Cardiff University fell from being the 23rd best university to place 31 in the 2016 Complete University Rankings, despite targeting to stay in the national top 20 with a plan called â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Way Forward.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; A Cardiff University spokesman claims that the fall is down to underperformance in two of the aforementioned criteria: â&#x20AC;&#x153;The ranking reflects the fact that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve performed less well with Degree Completions and Student/Staff Ratios, but we have seen improvements with Research Quality and Graduate Prospects. Whilst our ranking has dropped overall, we have seen rises in 25 subject areas.â&#x20AC;? The guide, claiming to be â&#x20AC;&#x153;independent and trustedâ&#x20AC;?, assesses institutions on nine different criteria including entry standards, graduate prospects and student satisfaction. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of the main resources for perspective students who make their firm and insurance UCAS choices. Antonia Velikova News Editor

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been your most memorable moment? The recent Teaching Excellence Awards [...] I was wearing a velvet suit and everyone kept telling me that I looked pretty dapper. But, believe it or not, that wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even the main reason why it was my highlight TEA Awards of the year. It was only last year I was sitting at the table of last years TEAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. My predecessor was addressing the audience on stage [and] I was reflecting on the daunting prospect that next years Host was me. Could I do it? So standing there on the stage at this years TEAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (my teas) in my velvet (perceptually dapper) suit as host, felt like a major accomplishment. Any advice for your successor? Do not feel apprehensive about any task or job. You will be working with the best support network in the union that Newcastle has to offer.

The Courier

.11

Monday 18 May 2015

Comment Â

thecourieronline.co.uk/comment

Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Comment Â Editors: Â Â Victoria Â Armstrong Â & Â Matt Â Corden Â Online Â Comment Â Editor: Â Ruth Â Â Davis courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk Â | Â @Courier_Comment Â

So hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s to you, Mrs Robinson $V WKH H[DP VHDVRQ FOLPD[HV RXU ZULWHUV UHĂ&#x20AC; HFW RQ WKH VWDWH RI DIIDLUV DW WKH 5RELQVRQ

onestly, whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the point of extra library space when it fills up too? With all the Pop-Up Library advertising that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re bombarded in, one would think that it does actually make a difference. Alas, no. Unless you wake up at the crack of dawn and make it to uni at some ungodly hour, good luck finding somewhere to sit, be it a computer cluster or any library. I had to wander around for nearly an hour to just find somewhere to sit. Not revise, mind â&#x20AC;&#x201C; just a sitting space indoors. Everywhereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so crammed that even if you are one of those library enthusiasts and if you do decide to spend your whole day holed up in the Robbo, you might be suffocating by the ventilation and AC which are absolutely horrendous. The library police are on you like guard dogs â&#x20AC;&#x201C; thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a helpful atmosphere in which to write and/or revise. That only increases study stress and piles on the feeling of inadequacy and general hatred of life. Surely, if the University expects excellence from its students, it should put some more effort into making study spaces better and more relaxing,. It should also expand them adequately in order to fit the increased demand around exam season. Attempts are being made, fair enough, but what irks me most is that problems with the library such as bad WiFi, inadequate temperatures and various others have been pointed out throughout the year. One would think that something would have been done about them. Alas, not this year. I hope that the relevant departments will learn from this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mistakes and make improvements for next year. Antonia Velikova

could count on one hand the amount of times Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve visited the Robbo this year; I avoid it like the plague. As one of those â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;airy-fairyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;not a proper degreeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Media students, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need to visit the library very often, everything I could ever need is online, or I have it in a book Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve bought myself, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m really pleased about that. As you walk to the other end of the earth, through the tunnel of doom towards the library, you are greeted by a brown-brick 1980s architectural atrocity. Once inside, you feel a stuffiness, there are people everywhere, in a big building where air conditioning seems to have been an afterthought. Did I mention the people that are EVERYWHERE? Or rather their bags and belongings, hogging desks, everywhere. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like working so close to other people, what if they steal some of my excellent essay ideas?

The uni hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exactly made El Robbo a lovely place to work, part of me appreciates the industrial design aesthetic they have going on, but such a grand old university should have a grand old library (a bit like the old library building). This ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t no Lit & Phil. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no vaulted ceilings, upper galleries and cast iron staircases to try not to fall down. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more of a warehouse for working than an institution for academic excellence and intellect to prosper and grow. I have one book out at the library, the only one Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve found myself having to take out this year. I think I might get someone else to take it back for me, one of those strange people who like working in the library. But not me, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really fancy taking a long holiday in the Costa del Robbo this summer. Jack Parker

â&#x20AC;&#x153;There are the odd moments of communitarian stress climaxes; a phone rings, an advert sounds, an invalid splutters her bronchiole all over the germified keyboard. In some sort of anxious release, we laugh or show our disgust as a cadre; an involuntary reactionâ&#x20AC;?

he thing which never fails to amaze me is the relative quietness of the library in the evenings around revision time, when compared to the practically every seat taken state of it at 9am. Especially given the amount of people who Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve heard complain about how early they have to get there in order to get a seat at the moment. If getting up early is such an issue, then why donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you just go in the evening? Even in the evening though, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a place of stress, regardless of the lower numbers in there. An irrational change comes over the standard student as they walk through the doors of this building - suddenly, any situation which would create a mild annoyance in standard life is suddenly enough to put you over the edge. The mere case of the sun coming out leads you to presume the entire world hates you and deliberately planned to trap you inside, why can nothing ever go right in your life? And why on earth did whoever designed the library choose to buy chairs which were so uncomfortable no one could ever get any work done when they have to constantly change their position every few seconds. Bloody rude. And donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get me started on the people - a noisy eater sat next to you invokes the reaction that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be better off dead. A few people whispering nearby leads you to question the unbelievably self-centred attitude of every single one of them, and how some people just think the world revolves around them. Such a lack of respect! In fact, the atmosphere in there is so tense and dire, that when (in a situation which is of course completely hypothetical) the helpful girl sat next to you chooses to point out that your earphones arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t plugged in, and you have in fact been blasting out more than a few seconds of the pina colada song for all of the fourth floor to hear, she does this without even cracking a smile. Merciless, humourless place. Ruth Davis

t is no secret that many students bemoan the universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s provision of study space and materials at this oh so hectic time of year. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s effectively tradition. However, all these complaining and grumbling students have a point. The library is crap. If you have the nerve to show up on a bike after 9am thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nowhere to lock it up. You then walk in the library where, if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve forgotten your smart card you can pay ÂŁ3 for the pleasure of accessing something youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve already paid for. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re there with the intention of using a computer, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a fool and should leave. There is no point looking. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re there just for a desk, there is a dim hope that if you trawl around a nook may be free somewhere. Enjoy the search. Once youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re settled in, it may take 15 minutes or so to connect to the internet. I wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t advise attempting to download large files in one go. A particular high point of my year was despairingly trying to download academic articles using my phoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 3G as a hotspot for my laptopâ&#x20AC;Ś so cheers for that Robbo.

The food quest is equally bleak. Whilst the cafĂŠ is now open till 12am everyday, which is excellent, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s little point as all food will be gone by mid-afternoon. As for those who intend to bring in their own tea and coffee to save moolah, many of us remember last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s MilkGate, I am sure. And if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re intending to use the cafe earlier in the day, the huge queues place you at risk of the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t leave your desk for longer than 15 minutesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; policy, which seems like a tremendous idea in theory, but not quite so glowing perhaps in practice. Ultimately, none of this seems like much; a multitude of minor inconveniences that could be solved by rising earlier and being more organised (except the internet â&#x20AC;&#x201C; get it together Robbo). But for the significant costs youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re paying, and God knows not much of it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go towards teaching hours, the university should be better. It shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be accepting more students without increasing its provisions in parallel, especially for something as fundamental as 2 square feet in which to study. Victoria Armstrong

veryone has complaints about the library. The process of committing it to paper is like the literary incarnation of Michael Macintyreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s observational â&#x20AC;&#x153;comedyâ&#x20AC;?. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not proud. But when you spend so long in this grounded, disabled, concrete spaceship, it limits your thoughts, your conversation, your sustenance and your wellbeing. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m pernickety as fuck. In a sort of poststructuralist way, we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really know what the others in there are thinking. There are the odd moments of communitarian stress climaxes; a phone rings, an advert sounds, an invalid splutters her bronchiole all over the germified keyboard. In some sort of anxious release, we laugh or show our disgust as a cadre; an involuntary reaction - akin to the moronic amusement derived annually from a drunken shout of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Come on Timâ&#x20AC;? at Wimbledon. I suppose the library is much like a sporting event. There is the so-called â&#x20AC;&#x153;VIPâ&#x20AC;? section; a glass box bursting with infinite silence. There is the odd library crush for the cameraman to zoom in on, metaphorically of course. You have the odd fanatic, camping out all night. You even have stewards. Stewards who are not procured by G4S and do not wear day-glow jackets. Stewards who wear spectacles, floral dresses and Dijon mustard shirts. Stewards who just enforce â&#x20AC;&#x153;University policyâ&#x20AC;?, they will have you know. So when you have suffered the indignity of Eat@Newcastleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Halal bento, the condescending advice of reception staff to â&#x20AC;&#x153;not forget your library card next timeâ&#x20AC;? and sweated in a lift full of cunts going down to a basement that I assume is full of more cunts, a single piece of yellow paper sends you vitriolic. The sickly Simpson-coloured oblong of shaven tree, angry yet flaccid, is floated onto your keyboard in your absence, hand-written in authoritarian black biro by a greying, jobsworth, ball of matter. A process follows. There is the routine expression of disgust that you look to share with your neighbours. There is the march to the non-recycling bin, because thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s how angry you are. There is the slump back, in your never quite comfortable seat. There is the realisation that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve just spent an hour writing a procrastinating rant â&#x20AC;&#x201C; when your dissertation is due in 86 hours. Cock. Joe Tetlow

onestly, I barely spend any time in the Robinson Library. I find it infuriating that you have to set up camp at the break of dawn just to find a seat in a hot and stuffy pit of despair and woe. The worst part about it is how miserable everyone looks; the minute students step through the revolving door their countenance is instantly gloomier. Of course, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not saying that the staff are miserable; in fact theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re hands down the best bit of the library experience. Their cheery faces are like a ray of sunlight the day before deadlines when everything seems to be against you. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m all for a new library. People who argue that we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need any more library space have clearly never felt dismally rejected at 10:30am because theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve tried every single floor to find an inch of space near a plug. If thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one skill that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve learnt from my time in the Robbo, it is to be ruthlessly stealthy; the moment that you hear the faint sound of a zip, you have to pounce. University has many challenges; exam stress should be lessened, not heightened from a trip to the Robbo. Helen Daly

12.comment

SOAP BOX “LITERALLY” It has been doing the rounds for a wee while now, but it’s only recently that I’ve been getting irked about the continual overuse of the word ‘literally’. I hear it every day on campus: ‘I’ll literally be there in two minutes’, or ‘that party was literally savage’. Stop it. It’s not trendy. In most cases, it is a completely redundant word. Sometimes it does have meaning, like in ‘I literally died laughing’. But the word you’re actually looking for is ‘figuratively’. So now, many dictionaries have given ‘literally’ two definitions, the second being the opposite of what it originally meant. How confusing is that for non-native speakers? Look what you’ve done. I’ll admit that I was once subject to nearly writing ‘literally’ in a YouTube comment. I was saying that I couldn’t stop laughing at a video for half an hour. My subconscious was saying that this sounded stilted and needed a ‘literally’ before the ‘half-hour’ to give it some oomph. But I resisted. My laughing fits do usually last around half an hour; I don’t need to use the L word to give myself more credibility. Seb Murphy

WIFI ON TRAINS A few weeks ago, I griped in this space about the extortionate cost of train fares and their completely illogical rise and fall. I now have another complaint to the rail companies. Not only do they take unbelievable sums of money from us with often no apparent relation to how close to the travel date you booked the train, but once you’ve handed those sums over, you don’t get the most basic provision in the modern day – free Wi-Fi. And why the hell not? I have no idea. National coach services do on most of their routes. Bloody hell, even some planes offer free Wi-Fi now. But not rail companies. Coach tickets, and often plane tickets, cost less than the average long distance train journey. So it seems incongruous that when you’re paying more, you don’t get the free service that you do on the cheaper means of travel. The council-run public buses in Newcastle even have Wi-Fi on them! If a council can give it for free, it’s just bloody stingy that a rail company can’t.

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Youth activism is the way forward Five more years of the Tories will be awful, but we can do plenty to alleviate the damage

Rob Magowan

ninspiring. That’s the Labour Party, that is. Uninspiring, and arrogant. Arrogant in the assumption that as long as the left was shouting “racist” at Nigel Farage, and “food banks” at David Cameron, the working classes of post-industrial England would inevitably come crawling back ‘home’ to Labour. Ignorant, too, in the belief that their Scottish support would continue to endure ‘branch office’ treatment, and forgive the eleventh-hour establishment fear-mongering which killed the independence dream. And finally lazy, in failing entirely to provide an ambitious, coherent alternative to the egoist, neoliberal, contradictory “mess you left us in” Conservative economic narrative that has been given near-free reign since 2010. It is no surprise then that “shy Tories” in the asset-rich south voted, en masse, for numero uno. It should also be no surprise to see Scottish Labour in ruins, and UKIP surge across the North East and elsewhere. What we are left with is a Conservative majority with a full five years to inflict profound pain on those who fall outside their definition of ‘productive’ or ‘operational’, or whatever fucking twisted means they employ to value a person’s worth in society. We privileged students will probably be grand, as will Middle England. But many, particularly here in Newcastle, will suffer. And yet genuine opposition from our Labour representatives will, on a vast array of issues, hardly be forthcoming. After all how can Chi Onwura MP and co. oppose NHS privatisation, foreign wars, dodgy trade deals (read: TTIP), fracking and the scapegoating of migrants when, at one time or another, their party has been behind each and every one? And with 331 Conservative MPs intent on turning a blind eye to our rotten electoral sys-

tem, coked-up financial sector and dire need for affordable social housing, how will Labour demand solutions when for 13 years, their own government offered none? The immediate rallying calls to shift Labour to the right are just as misguided as the London protests and continuous demonization of Tories (regardless of how strongly we might feel about their heartlessness, combined with UKIP they received 50.6% of British votes – the shouting failed to discourage these masses; it only made them ‘shy’). In 2020 the progressive message must be clear and positive enough to convince the millions who still see Conservative government as a “necessary evil” that it does not have to be this way.

“We can take simple, constructive steps towards tackling the most blatant injustices around us”

In the meantime, what we can do ourselves is build, practically, from below. Of course young people must still engage electorally, to check the sordid complacency that festers under apathy – last week a strong turnout in North Jesmond successfully ousted Gerry Keating, a veteran councillor who had declared at a recent debate he had “no vision” for the community he sought to serve. We must continue to make ourselves relevant in these local elections. But more importantly, we can take simple, constructive steps towards tackling the most blatant injustices around us. Established only this year, the Young Greens society has taken on three campaigns which it will bring even more strongly into next year. The first targets exploitative landlords and estate agents by producing an annual ‘league

table’, and establishing links with local Residents Associations who can challenge problematic agencies on your behalf. ‘Fair Pay on Campus’ takes aim at economic inequality, encouraging universities to pay a living wage and reduce the gross disparity between the highest and lowest paid staff members. ‘Fossil Free Newcastle University’ (a joint campaign with People and Planet society) will meet with the Vice-Chancellor and Executive Board next week to demand the divestment of over £6 million currently held in the 200 dirtiest fossil fuel companies, so as to uphold the University’s commitments to socially and environmentally responsible investment. And it is by no means just us. Students for Sensible Drug Policy has this year successfully challenged the University’s ‘Zero Tolerance’ policy, calling for an evidence-based, harm reduction focus instead. An incredibly active Feminist Society demonstrated in solidarity with Ferguson’s ‘Black Lives Matter’ protests, and secured free menstrual care on campus. The Magic Hat Café project has taken the city by storm, upcycling edible food waste to provide meals for “everyone and anyone”. A Newcastle branch of the national ‘Save Our NHS’ student movement fighting privatisation has sprung up in recent weeks, and will no doubt be called upon soon. ‘Mind the Gap’ has done fantastic work to spread understanding of mental health; ‘NewCycling’ and ‘Spoke NCL’ are calling for safer cycling infrastructure. Rest assured that over the next five years, there will be plenty to be getting on with. That great exercise in (flawed) democracy is done – we had our say. But politics outside the ballot box is undergoing a revival. More and more students are coming together to make a difference for those around them, and for those who will come after. So get yourself involved in some university activism – it’s not going anywhere.

Balancing the books: why don’t fees include all our materials?

Antonia Cundy

DISSERTATION SELFIES Guess the thing: it happens every year, it’s all over Facebook, and most times, if not always, people are doing it because they’re hungry for attention. Did you guess? Dissertation selfies. No, I don’t mean the selfies themselves, I mean people moaning about dissertation selfies. Surely you’ve seen them around, making passive aggressive social media posts here and there. My question to them all would be: do you hate fun? Does people being happy and enjoying themselves as a result of all the hard work they’ve done through the year really make you so bitter that you just have to do that? Maybe mind your business, and if you don’t agree with something just scroll past it. There’s no need to rant and make everyone feel bad or stress out, wondering if you’re talking about them. I know that when I finish my dissertation next year, I’ll post 20 selfies with it from 20 different angles if I so wish, and no one will be able to stop me. Antonia Velikova

Mark Sleightholm

s lecturers are only too keen to point out, a big part of the university work is independent research. Otherwise known as reading some books. All well and good, except that someone somewhere along the line has to pay for these books. Universities, generous institutions that they are, have decided that someone should be us. I know it’s a cliché ... but we are paying nine grand a year for this, and it turns out our tuition fees don’t even cover our tuition. There is an ever-growing library of obscure academic writings on the internet, freely available to everyone. Meanwhile, physical copies of books require money and/or luck to get hold of. To be fair, some lecturers recognise this, and select reading is available online. Others aren’t so considerate. They try to make it sound better by claiming that there are copies in the Library. There might have been, once, about three months before the module started. Part of me is mildly impressed that my fellow students are so dedicated that they took out all the relevant books. A tiny part. A really tiny part. Maybe the Library doesn’t even have these books,

and just puts them on the system as permanently on “long loan – due [insert date about two days after the exam or essay deadline]”. Or maybe there really is somebody rubbing their hands with glee that they got all the books for free whilst the rest of us suffer.

“If these materials are such a vital part of our “tuition”, surely they should be covered by our tuition fees?”

Assuming, then, that the vast majority of students will never be able to access these supposedly vital books in the Robbo, are we expected to buy them? Spend a small fortune on books that we are never going to read after the module is over? Even second hand, these books can be expensive, and I can’t help wondering if some of my lecturers are on commission given the amount of times they say, “you can pick up a copy in Blackwell’s”. Realistically, most students are not going to be able to afford this, and those few who can won’t want to waste their money buying all these books

Nico Paix @ Flickr on the off chance that they might come in handy for one topic on one module. So they just don’t bother. I get that journal articles and e-books aren’t always enough, and that sometimes students will need a physical book. But why should we have to pay for them? Most student loans don’t stretch to luxuries like books. The increase in tuition fees, controversial though it is, doesn’t seem to have had any significant impact on the number of students coming to university. But if these students were aware of how much they would be expected to shell out for “essential reading”, they might reconsider. Individual books might not cost much, but it all adds up. Even selling on old books isn’t going to cover the costs completely, since they’ll be second hand. This might seem like more of a problem for arts and humanities students, although textbooks, calculators, lab coats and whatever other things science students need still cost money. The actual cost of a degree is quite a bit more than £9,000 a year. If these materials are such a vital part of our “tuition”, surely they should be covered by our tuition fees? If the University can afford state-of-the-art glass skyscrapers, surely it can afford a few books for its students?

The Courier

comment.13

Monday 18 May 2015

Female genital mutilation: modern torture in the UK

Campaigning against misogynistic billboards is all very well, but we mustn’t forget bigger, more frightening issues facing women at home and abroad

Alice Nicholl

f I had a pound for every time I heard someone say we had equality in the UK, or that feminism isn’t needed anymore in our Western society, then I wouldn’t have to eat an Eat4Less for a good few weeks. Unfortunately, the truth is that there are still many issues needing tackling- some of which float completely under most people’s radar. An article in the Daily Mail earlier this month highlighted the horrific statistics regarding female genital mutilation (FGM) in Egypt, with up to 92% of married women having undergone the horrific procedure. It was an article that was shared throughout my newsfeed, rightly receiving reactions of horror and condemnation from my peers; but what if I told you that this was also happening far closer to home? In fact, right under our noses? FGM has been illegal in the UK since 1985, but that doesn’t mean it is not happening. Recent statistics show that nearly 25,000 young girls in the UK are at risk of FGM, with an estimated 66,000 victims of FGM living in England and Wales. More than 2100 victims of FGM sought medical help in London hospitals alone between 2010 and 2013. The true extent of numbers is unknown, as many cases go unheard of and unreported. Worryingly, numbers of FGM cases in the UK seem to be on the rise, alongside even greater increases in the numbers in various communities in the Middle East, Africa and Asia. As FGM is illegal, it is often carried out by people with no medical training or expertise. Girls are usually mutilated when they are aged between 3 and 15, before puberty starts. Anaesthetic is rarely involved, and the tools used range from knives to razor blades and pieces of glass. Girls are often given a rag to bite on before being pinned down, their legs forcibly opened. Frequently, young girls are pinned down so hard their delicate bones are shattered or dislocated. One common form of FGM is called infibulation, where the outer lips of the labia and the clitoris are removed, causing vast blood loss. An item such as a small twig may be inserted into the open wound before it heals, creating a small hole allowing the woman to urinate and menstruate. The legs are then bound together for up to a month to allow the wound to heal. The resulting opening is so small that the woman usu-

Pixabay

ally has to be cut again before sexual intercourse or childbirth. Female genital mutilation is often referred to as female circumcision. This would suggest an operation with similar post-op results and levels of risk to male circumcision. However, this is a bit like comparing breaking a fingernail with having your finger chopped off. Male circumcision has a minor complication rate of under 0.5%, and recent research shows it may even have benefits such as reducing risks of Sexually Transmitted Infections and reducing rates of penal cancer. FGM, meanwhile, commonly causes acute blood loss resulting in haemorrhagic shock, extreme pain, urinary retention, infection, fracture or dislocation of bones, vulval abscesses and panic disorders. Referring to FGM as simply ‘circumcision’ takes away from just how abominable the practice is. FGM is carried out in the belief that it increases hygiene, increases fertility and brings purification. It is seen as simply part of social culture, tradition and religion. More effort must be made to educate people and change perceptions. Women and children are suffering due to a widespread reluctance to bring this issue into the spotlight; just because something is a cultural tradition, does not mean that it should automatically be accepted. Many critics say that Western feminism needs to sort itself out; that it’s overly focused on the smaller aspects of equality, and missing the very real andvery big issues that it should be tackling, such as FGM. Recently, hundreds took to Hyde Park to protest over the now infamous Beach Body Ready tube advert. Many responded that this was an example of feminism being too caught up with the details. I disagree. This is important too. It’s a matter of focusing on the large and small. Just because I get annoyed at things like uni lad culture doesn’t mean I don’t also care about the bigger issues, for instance outdated abortion restrictions in seemingly ‘developed’ countries such as Northern Ireland. Some people say that feminists need to get their heads in gear with bigger issues. As much as the bra-burning, nipple-liberating gal inside of me hates to admit it, those people do kind of have a point. If we all put as much effort into protesting about this indescribably horrific abuse of children and women as we do protesting about a fitness advert or denouncing Western feminism, then maybe one day we would give these girls a strong voice and end the cycle of FGM horror in the UK.

Whatever happened to productive debate?

.LFNLQJ RII RQ VRFLDO PHGLD LV QR ZD\ WR SXVK WKLQJV IRUZDUG <RX¶UH MXVW VWLÀ LQJ GLVFXVVLRQV

Victoria Armstrong

he world (well, Britain) seems to have gone wild in its response to the rather unexpected Tory victory this month. Cries of “anything but apathy” have turned into rather less accepting declarations of “fuck the Tories”, “Milibae has been cheated”, “no mercy” and simply “1984”. Discussion abounds. It’s great that so many people are so passionate about politics, holding true conviction in their beliefs. After all, politics is a very important thing, influencing almost all aspects of our lives in some form. That said, many of these debates have quickly broken down into aggressive and hateful diatribes. I’ve seen references to the Greens as “retarded, naïve hippy fuck-wits”, Labour voters as “the basic, illiterate dredges of society” and Tory supporters as “emotionless, selfish paedophiles who hate the vulnerable”. This is only an indescribably brief insight into some of the ongoing angst. In retrospect, hints of what lay ahead should have been visible. For instance, being messaged by a stranger before the election was even over, who told me I was “sick” for my political beliefs. Frankly, itis horrific. Displeased with how things

are, many are insulting their peers, condemning those who didn’t vote tactically, and abusing those with alternative views. Everyone has a vote. Everyone is entitled to vote for whomever they like. Such is democracy. You may not agree with how others voted, but that doesn’t make them worth less as humans than you. Nor does it make them deserving of opprobrium. Further, all of this immense negativity swirling around the internet, and beyond, is only serving to worsen the problem. Left-leaning supporters feel alienated from their right-leaning peers, and a suffocating atmosphere of defensiveness prevails. Unfortunately, most newspapers are only worsening the problem. Headlines from typically reputable newspapers have degenerated into blatantly biased rubbish with comment purporting to be news. From the Times’ depiction of Cameron as an earth-bound deity, to the Guardian’s recent article on Miliband as the most “brave, kind, passionate and virtuous Prime Minister we never had”, I am in complete despair. This brings me to the crux of this article: whatever happened to productive debate? Instead of bemoaning the results – which wonit change – or insulting those who happen to hold different views, why not engage in something resembling beneficial discussions? If you wish to

convince people of your perspective, or try and elicit any understanding for it at all, I can assure you that beginning your efforts with “you fucking politically-perverted bastard” will not aid you in your mission or convince them of the excellence of your superior insight. Equally, alienating massive groups of people by reducing them to the sum of their ballot preference to make mass generalisations, will not aid matters. You do not have to be happy with the current Government. By all means, protest and argue on policies and do anything else you want to show your unhappiness. Such is your right, and indeed if it”s what you believe is needed, then you ought to. But when discussions devolve into meaningless disparagement, and peaceful protests into riots, the situation is not being helped. Debate has to be productive. It’s fine to want the Tories out, but please consider as well: who are you proposing goes in? If you want to criticize the policies of any group, that’s great, but also think: which policies would you rather replace them and why are they better? It isn’t enough to criticize because you’re unhappy. It helps no one, and only makes us, as an electorate, increasingly divided and acrimonious and unlikely to reach the compromises necessary for the most agreeable outcomes.

Mental health should become a national priority

Ruth Davis

t’s no secret just how embarrassingly bad this country is at dealing with mental health. Despite the recent increase in awareness due to campaigns and high profile sufferers such as Stephen Fry and Robin Williams, it still is a huge problem, as the vast majority of individuals are affected by mental health at some stage in their life time, and there is an unacceptable lack of easily accessible treatment. The primary responsibility for this care, surely, should be the NHS. Mental health is as much a part of health as physical health – in an ideal world, it would be as common to go to the doctors for mental health issues as for a common malady. However, sadly, we are not yet at that stage. From a personal level, I am all too aware of the fallibilities within the public mental health treatment system; a person experiencing suicidal thoughts and intentions on a near daily basis should never be told they have to wait six weeks before getting an initial assessment, and then have a further wait from then until treatment can begin. But where does that leave us? If the organisation which is responsible for our primary healthcare can offer no appropriate treatment, then where to turn? Well, on hearing the waiting lists for treatment were so long, my doctor gave me the helpful recommendation of ‘utilising friends’. Whilst it cannot be denied that I have fully utilised my friends as supports through my illness, and have been beyond humbled by the level of care and love they have shown me, particularly from the ones who I least expected it, the responsibility for my mental health does not lie with them, and I really doubt the wisdom of a medical professional suggesting this. It wasn’t until I was about to leave the appointment room that the doctor, as an afterthought, asked if I’d thought of contacting the Student Wellbeing Service at my University.

“The Student Wellbeing Service is vastly underrated”

In what world is it acceptable that this professional, well-experienced service was offered as an option only as a very last resort? Does this say something about the common perception of how much the University is able to help? And if so, why is there this perception? I am by no means advocating the University’s services above those offered by the NHS, as actually, the majority of severe mental health conditions benefit from a combined treatment of medication and talking therapies, and I certainly don’t think counselling alone is a successful treatment for all problems. However, I do think the Student Wellbeing Service is vastly underrated and unknown. Whilst it also struggles with waiting lists, particularly around exam times, there are few other negative things to be said about it. Why then, is it not more well used or well known? Counselling sessions differ from other forms of mental health treatment in that they are non directive, so do not directly attempt to help a person change behaviours or thought patterns, but instead give a person space to talk and come to their own conclusions about problems. As such, it is a system which will very rarely fail to be helpful to those experiencing mental health difficulties. In fact, it is a system which is beneficial generally, health problems aside. In some parts of America, it is the norm to go to counselling sessions, regardless of what is occurring in a person’s life. The reason for this is that life is not easy, life does not always go well, and talking through things with a professional will never be unhelpful. If we normally waited until a physical health problem was severely hindering every aspect of our everyday life to go and see a doctor, it would be considered absurd. It’s time that the same approach was taken to problems regarding mental health. Taking care of personal health should be a priority, and as students, there is a system right on our doorstep to enable us to do it with ease. It would make little sense to ignore that.

14.lifestyle

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Jack Dempsey, Holly Suttle & Tom Tibble

Life in the library, illustrated Editor Tom Nicholson presents his mathematically accurate, rigorously SHHU UHYLHZHG YLVXDO UHSUHVHQWDWLRQ RI H[DP VHDVRQ LQ WKH 5REER

What do people actually do in the library? 3% wandering into another degree discipline's area by accident, having a peruse of the books and realising that actually you definitely should have done English Lit/Agriculture/Marketing/anything other than whatever it is you're meant to be doing

5% actual work

10% endless, aimless wandering

Unsuccessful chirpsing

Morale-sapping crisis talks with friends

20%

Existential angst

30%

A library user is overheard moaning about how it’s “fucking ludicrous” that their belongings were moved when they’d just popped to St. Moritz for a couple of weeks as a mid-exam season break

2am: A burst of acceleration having drunk so much coffee you can see through time

1500 words

8am: Just typing long strings of unconnected words now. So close to freedom

2pm: No worries, I’ve got bloody ages

8pm: At a low, low ebb; massively jonesing for a Greggs

M id

da y

4% dreaming up increasingly elaborate schemes to bag a PEC form

complete shitw, but IT’S BLOODY DONE

5am: Crashing horribly

2000 words

0 words

LIBRARY BINGO

Academic achievement

Anatomy of an all-nighter: 10am: 2000 words of word count vs. time almost

500 words

10% morale-boosting chats with friends

Choose two

A diet which varies more than just swapping between three types of Greggs pasty

1000 words

2% watching your life flash before your eyes as you get trapped in the rolling shelving downstairs

Flip flop-wearing boob greets a friend with a breezy, “Yo, man”; 1993 turns up asking for its greeting back

The exam triangle

1% nodding sagely at a Tchaikovsky LP in the media library in an attempt to garner much-needed cultural kudos

15%

Sleeping in an actual bed rather than leaning against particularly comfortable stretches of wall for cat-naps

3p m

6p m

9p m

M id

gh t

3a m

6a m

Cross off these common library happenings as and when \RX ¿ QG WKHP 7KHUH¶V QR SUL]H H[FHSW WKH VDWLVIDFWLRQ RI wasting several hours of critical revision time

The entrance gates gan crackers, frantically opening and closing and slicing students’ legs to ribbons

The media room turns into a small-scale rave playing Chopin’s biggest bangers til 5am (text the Robbo Noise Police for guestlist and Q-jump)

Group of lads stream Champions’ League final in the basement; mood quickly turns sour when hooligans in bucket hats and white vests turn up and start throwing white plastic garden furniture around. A water cannon restores order

An over-zealous library The Student Texts Col- bod takes papers from lection is occupied by ‘unoccupied’ desk, a particularly stressed burns them in bin, then Chemical Engineering leaves note informing student, who spends six former occupant that hours frantically waving they have 15 mins to a sharpened textbook at move their ashes or all who approach they’re really in trouble

Twitter and YikTak are abuzz with rumours of another fire; it’s quickly established that it was started by Lord Lucan and that Shergar was seen carrying survivors down the stairs

An over-zealous library bod attempts to solve the desk availability conundrum by removing all desks from the library and replacing them with open-plan floor-based study solution

An over-zealous library bod moves some papers from an ‘unoccupied’ desk; the poor sleepdeprived sap spends half an hour trudging in circles muttering “fuck’s sake” in an endless feedback loop

The Courier

.15

Monday 18 May 2015

Culture thecourieronline.co.uk/culture

Culture Editor: Kate Bennett Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming and Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline

Blind Date

Alice on Will

I hear the plan was town, but you didn’t go to town did you? No, we ended up in Osborne’s instead. The plan was originally Revs but I forgot my credit card, so he met me at Jesmond Metro and then we had to go back to my house to get my card. In our house we have a pet rabbit so I left him in the lounge with the rabbit. He described the rabbit as scabby, but it’s not actually that scabby.

Will Herbert, 3rd Year Psychology meets Alice Nicholl, 3rd Year Dentistry

Will on Alice

Where did you and Alice meet up? Well we were supposed to go into town, but when I got to the Metro and she said she’d forgotten her bank card. So we went back to her house and I sat and played with her rabbit while she tried to find it. Then she asked if we should just go to Osborne’s instead, so we ended up staying there all night. First impressions of Alice? A bit crazy. She wouldn’t stop talking and she talked really fast and she’s Irish, so it was quite hard to understand her at times. I was like woah, slow down.

Was he not a big animal fan then? No. We have this cat that visits our house and he doesn’t like that either, he was really mean about it. We don’t know who it actually belongs to, we call him Slippers because he’s beautiful [Alice shows the Courier a picture of a hairless cat].

What things did you chat about? Obviously just the boring stuff at first: what course we did, what A levels we did. She was telling me about how she does dentistry and likes pulling people’s teeth out. We also talked about GCSEs and how badly I did at them. She was telling me how she’s never got lower than an A is any exam in her life. She’s very proud of that. I was just like, yeah I got a C in English…

Oh my God, what is that? Sometimes it comes and it’s really furry, then every now and again its owner shaves it. We don’t actually know who owns it, but every night it comes to our house and gets fed. We have cat food for it because it’s there every day. In all fairness to Will, it is an ugly cat, but it’s friendly.

How many drinks were drunk? A reasonable amount. Not loads—no one was on the floor or anything, we were still talking.

What kind of stuff did you chat about in Osborne’s? We had a general chat about uni and stuff because he’s graduating this year and I’ve got another two years left. There’s this page on Twitter called ‘first date questions’, with all these questions on like, “what is your favourite type of bread?” “What’s your favourite kind of whale?” “If you were a squirrel, would you be like a woodland squirrel or a mountain squirrel?” He said he’d be a mountain squirrel because he could see himself hanging around with the wolves. Then I said he’d probably be eaten by the wolves, but he likes to think he’d be a fierce squirrel.

Any unusual topics of conversation? She was a bit annoyed at me because I didn’t know the difference between a llama and an alpaca. She kept asking really weird questions too like, “what’s your favourite type of whale?” I only knew killer whale. And there was, “if you were getting chased by a leopard in a desert, how would you get away?” She was also texting her flatmate the whole time telling her what my answers were. Another weird thing actually was when she started telling me how she shoplifted teabags from Tesco.

Did the conversation take a romantic turn at any point? No. We’re just friends who like to take the piss out of each other. To be fair, at one point we were sitting by and he kept putting his hand in, which I think was his attempt to impress me. Name one good thing about Will? He makes me laugh a lot, even when he’s not trying to. He’s just one of those people who’s funny all the time. I think it annoys him to be honest. What could Will improve on? Maybe his singing skills, because he sang a bit of ‘Chandelier’ by Sia and it was appalling. Also, he has a Spotify playlist called ‘CHOON’ and it has, like, seven followers. I think he fancies himself as a bit of a DJ.

Does she do that regularly? No, she was just proud that she’d done it once, because I was telling her that last week I walked out of Tesco with two bags of shopping without paying, obviously by mistake. Did you feel there was much romance in the air? I think we were taking the piss out of each other a bit too much for that. How did the date come to an end? She wanted to get food so we went to Slicemaster, you know, the place that got held at gunpoint that time.

How did the date come to an end? Well I think we’d been in Osbornes for several hours and I got hungry so we decided to go to Slicemaster and get some pizza, then we went out separate ways. I think it’s a beautiful end to a date, pizza. Perhaps not the most romantic though. Depends how much you like pizza. You like animals a lot. If Will was one, what would he be? God I’ll have to think about this one… I think he’d be a fly. That’s probably the worst animal you could have picked. Well Will wouldn’t be an animal because he hates animals, so he’d just be a human I guess. Technically still an animal. How could the date have been better? Maybe we could’ve done a fun activity, because I know people in the past have been like bowling and stuff. I think we could have gone to Flares, because I love Flares. That would’ve been a good end to the date, a little dance to ABBA in Flares. But never mind, I don’t think we’d be good in a relationship anyway since he doesn’t like tomatoes.

What did you guys get? She got a 16” pizza and wedges, then we went our separate ways. She was Snapchatting me pictures of her feeding her cat potato wedges and garlic mayo on the street. What was the best part of the date with Alice? She was funny—hilarious actually, I couldn’t stop laughing. And if you had to pick a bad thing? Erm… Probably the fact that she’s obsessed with cats, and that she’s got a disgusting cat. Like, she showed me a picture of her cat, and it’s got a bald body and fur only on its head and the end of its tail. It’s like trying to be a poodle crossed with a lion, but it’s actually the most disgusting cat I’ve ever seen, and she’s obsessed with it. Do you feel like the date could have gone better in any way? Nah it was pretty solid. Maybe if she’d brought her purse out with her, I wouldn’t have had to play with her rabbit.

Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Seems like animals played a big part on this date. Yeah she’s a bit obsessed with animals. She said that she goes to uni through Exhibition Park every morning to smile at dogs, then she looks up at the owners and the owners always smile back at her if she’s smiled at their dogs, because she’s got a ‘connection with animals’.

16.lifestyle

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Jack Dempsey, Holly Suttle and Tom Tibble

Finishing Uni: the bittersweet truth You might be longing for the day when exams are history - but don’t wish your time away, says newly unemployed Helen Daly

o you’ve had your last lecture, you’ve made it through your last all-nighter, the essays you’ve worked tirelessly on have now been handed in; congratulations, you’ve finished university! I thought that I would feel an immense feeling of relief and happiness when I went through the final stages of university, especially when handing in essays which had been the giver of stress for the past few weeks. But upon handing them in, I felt nothing. No joy, no sadness, just nothing. Friends who still have exams congratulated me but I didn’t feel like I’d actually accomplished anything; I finished university and the first thing on my mind was: ‘What do I need to read for next week?’

“I thought that I’d feel an immense feeling of relief and happiness, but I felt nothing. No joy, no sadness, just nothing”

Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely a relief to not have any more pressing deadlines, but without them I feel a little bit lost; coming to university has caused me to forget what to do with my spare time. Should I go to the pub? Should I watch a film? Maybe I’ll go shopping. But as I step into Topshop, I can’t help but feel enormously guilty; I don’t belong here. I should be at home working, but instead I’m perusing the latest fashions. Of course, there’s one, unspoken word on everyone’s lips: job. Like Dustin Hoffman, I shall soon be a graduate. An unemployed graduate. It hit me after I had handed in my final essays that the reason I was feeling so lost is because for the first time in twenty-two years, I have no idea where I will be in September. Every year I can remember I have been preparing for school, college and university after a relaxing summer, but this year, September seems like a distant and unknown place.

“As I step into Topshop, I feel enormously guilty. I don’t belong here. I should be at home, working”

However, there’s still one thing looming in the background: graduation. It’s a time to feel proud of your achievements but mainly it’s a time to show that you can actually walk up stairs in heels and not fall flat on your face. So in all of the spare time that you now have, maybe get some practice in before the big day. This will most likely be the last time you see most of your course mates, and I know for one that I don’t want to be remembered as the girl who fell up the stairs on graduation. I’ve had the best time of my life at Newcastle. I can safely say that I’ve made the best friends I could ever imagine, I’ve loved every second of my course and the nights out have been, well, plentiful. Newcastle will always have a special place in my heart, so as the shock of finishing university settles, in creeps the sadness of actually having to leave this amazing city. As I make the transition from student to proper, sensible adult, I can’t help but feel that, to paraphrase Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes, I’ve had the time of my life and one that I will never get back again.

Travel: exploring Ukraine My friends warned me that I was visiting a warzone. What I found was a charming, complex, vital country - with terrible, terrible beer

friend said to me rather deflatedly, “Francis, please don’t go to Ukraine.” The media (understandably) have a habit of highlighting the bad news coming out of the country, publishing gloomy images of burnt out cars, tanks rolling towards Donetsk, or soldiers loading artillery. The reality of the country was, against the expectations of those around me, a relatively peaceful and safe area – in the west at least. My attraction to danger and interest in history meant that visiting a country fighting an ongoing war and the radiation-ravaged Chernobyl reactor seemed ideal. The only problem was that three months before booking my flights there’d been some high-scale riots in Kiev, not to mention ongoing issues in the east of the country. The Ukrainian countryside was just as I had imagined. The ground lay flat, yellow, and bare of leaves, vaguely reminiscent of the Malaysian Airlines crash site. Descending over a series of lakes, my two-thirds empty flight from London to Kiev arrived on time. I attempted to learn some Ukrainian on the plane, but my guidebook was almost incomparable to the local dialect. I passed straight through customs, questioned only on whether I was “from London?” I gave a nod and the border guard dressed in military uniform stamped my passport. I should have expected better, but immediately I was bombarded by leather-jacketed taxi drivers offering to take me to the city from the arrivals hall. I had been told this would cost $14, but one particularly persistent driver kept driving (pun intended) his inflated rate of $20. The $6 difference would have bought a pizza and eight beers in the city centre – so not worth wasting. Ukraine had its annoyances, but these were nothing compared the tranquil beauty of Chernobyl or the excitement of catching a train across the Ukraine-Poland border. Ukraine was generally easy to navigate. Lots of restaurants understood and had English menus. Service was disappointing, however. The city folk were impolite and waiters, while perfectly cordial, were unmoved by the demands of ‘western’ customer service. People would barge past in queues for the Metro escalators in Kiev, would place their shopping basket on your side of the checkout in supermarkets (making it impossible to collect change), and were a little too laid-back at taking orders in bars. Cathedrals were ubiquitous in country and city, the grandeur of which almost has to be seen to be believed. With either gilded or green domes, each had a different atmosphere, from sober contemplation to joyous celebration. I was particularly struck by the beauty of St Michael’s Monastery in Kiev. Inside paintings framed with gold leaf adorn the walls, in front of which Kiev’s Orthodox Christians come to pray before carrying on their daily lives. Outside a man and a woman waited to snare tourists into a trap, by quickly placing a “dove” on their shoulder, taking a photo and demanding a few dollars, having proclaimed that “to hold the bird there is no charge.” In Kiev’s Independence Square I’d read a review that described the art exhibition on display as “justifying the killing of innocent civilians”. Photos on billboards beneath a large statue of St. Michael pictured the Ukrainian army assisting citizens in a variety of situations – not exactly on a par with North Korean anti-American propaganda. Nevertheless Ukraine did seem unusually patriotic. Turquoise and yellow pieces of material were tied to railings, images on Instagram were tagged with “Blue and Yellow is in my veins,” and army donation boxes sat outside religious sites. A woman from Kharkiv, whose first language was Russian, clearly didn’t want to talk about the conflict when I asked her about it, but did say she felt Ukrainian and that it was “a terrible situation.” There was little – other than these photos and a small nearby memorial – to remind passers-by of the fatal February 2014 protests in the city. My primary purpose had been to remove Chernobyl from my bucket list. A Danish man staying in my hostel had stressed the importance of seeing the swimming pool and Ferris wheel cars in Chernobyl, having seen them on Call of Duty. For

foreigners it’s surprisingly easy to visit the former nuclear site as part of a small tour: for Ukrainians a permit is required. The hammer and sickle Chernobyl town logo has been replaced with a nuclear symbol. Both it and Pripyat lie completely deserted, other than a small group of well-paid decontamination workers. Once atop Pripyat’s tallest building the views of the surrounding forest are immense, with a panorama from Belarus to the new sarcophagus for reactor four.

“Ukraine had its annoyances, but these were nothing compared to the beauty of Chernobyl” On the tour I was afforded a large Ukrainian meal. It was the first and last time I was to eat such a copious concoction. The extravagance included a bowl of red peppers and cucumber in oil, pieces of salmon on buttered bread, clementines, beetroot soup, chips and mushrooms in a cheese sauce, followed by a desert of pancakes with a cheese filling and sour cream. The drink of choice for a Ukrainian lunch - when not sharing a bottle of vodka among two friends - is cherry juice. Ukrainian vodka, while just thirty pence for a 50ml shot or a few dollars to buy the bottle, was no better than anything you could get in a Newcastle bar. I decided I’d stick to local beers like Obolon, a golden and yeast-smelling lager. Beer from this part of the

world has deservedly come in for some stick owing to its sweet yet dry taste. Getting into a bar to order a litre of Obolon came with an enhanced security check. As I descended down a series of steps into one Lviv establishment my passport was examined and my body searched. House music played throughout the night to groups of twenty-something people sat at tables lining its fluorescent walls. Above the bar a neon sign displayed the Carlsberg logo – the only letters of the English alphabet in the building. On the bar sat an older man, who I made the mistake of making eye contact with, for moments later he was explaining in Russian how he was a journalist from Ukraine. I decided to leave the bar when the man started asking me to buy him drinks, but the atmosphere generally was mellower. Much of Ukraine’s USSR-era history has been rebranded as the country became democratised. Several oddities of communism remain, however. Out of one hill stands a monumental steel Motherland statue, in one hand brandishing a sixteen metre sword (reduced in size as not to be higher than the cathedral next door) and in the other a shield with the hammer and sickle engraved into it. While Ukraine may not be the first place you think of to take a week’s holiday, it is worth the trip. From Kiev westward, there was next to no sign that there was a conflict going on in the east. Prices are on a par, if not cheaper, than Poland. There is plenty to see for everyone from the adventurer, the group on a stag do, or the Everton fans who came to watch the match against Dynamo Kiev. Francis Williams

The Courier

lifestyle.17

Monday 18 May 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle

Summer countdown

Holly Suttle RI¿ FLDOO\ VWDUWV VXPPHU ZLWK KHU WLSV IRU WUDYHOOLQJ DQG VDIHO\ HQMR\LQJ WKH VXQ Holly Suttle

Volunteer abroad

ummer is nearly here, we’re all counting down the days until our last exams and waiting for the moment we can taste freedom from the depths of university work. But the question is, if we haven’t got anything planned, what do we do when summer finally hits? We all love summer... the sun, the beach, relaxing, doing whatever we please... but how can you make this summer the best one yet? Doing something meaningful and worthwhile with your summer will create memories that can last a lifetime. So make them good ones! Whether it’s volunteering in a foreign country (or even in Britain) or exploring parts of the world you have always dreamed of, make your summer stick with you for all those years to come.

Do you know how good doing good feels? Well volunteering is the ultimate feel-good travelling experience. This is where you really get to experience another walk of life, and see how other people live. The best part about this, is it’s a win-win situation. Other people are benefitting from you helping them! There are many places you can volunteer, all over the world. Why not volunteer through a smaller company, if you can find one on the internet? You can go and volunteer for free. There are plenty of places that need it, like parts of Africa and India and many more. Can’t go abroad? There are many places that need volunteers here, too.

Work at a summer camp We’ve all got those friends who talk about how amazing their summer was when they worked at a summer camp. This is your time to apply for next summer. And it’s not just America that has (literally thousands) of summer camps needing staff, there are camps in Canada, Australia, New Zealand and more. These are paid positions, so you only need to pay to get there and for a Visa, (and the application process to get selected does take a lot of time and enery) but once you’re out there, you’ll be earning cash to go and explore that country for the rest of your summer.

Have an adventure holiday If you really want a trip to remember, then the outdoors is the best place to start. Trek mountains, cross waterfalls or explore jungles. You might need to save up quite a bit of money before you do this, for both the kit to do this with, and for the flights to get to a jungle. But once you are there, I can bet it will be well worth it. If you’re a bit too city-keen, then this type of holiday won’t be for you. Terrified of the word “leech”? Well, jungles, rainforests and waterfalls won’t be for you. Leeches are no commodity here, it’s the killer spiders you have to look out for. And the mosquitoes are pretty awful, too. So make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into if this is your plan.

Interrail around Europe

Have a city break Go shopping, buy new clothes, eat different foods, and most importantly - indulge yourself. There are many big cities around the world that are, despite having big buidlings, completely different to the others. If you have never been to London, then why not go now? It saves you a flight, and you can get a direct train from Newcastle. Otherwise, perhaps venture further!

Countdown’s Nick Hewer swaps consonants for the continent as he kicks back in Costa Brava

Probably one of the best things to do as a student, why not travel Europe and experience all of the different cultures you can in our neighbouring countries? It’s a good idea to do this whilst we’re still part of the EU as well, so get moving! Why not have a go at the different languages in Germany, France or Spain, or just explore Eastern Europe and lie on the beaches of Croatia. If you’re feeling particularly cultural, why not visit the art galleries or famous historical buildings that Europe has to offer - the ones I have seen are truly astounding. And the best part is, the flights to foreign countries in Europe are only a couple of hours long. So get your little backpack on, and see what Europe has to offer.

The checklist Don’t even attempt to have fun this summer without ensuring you’ve got everything here Sunglasses: The ultimate signal that you are chillin’ out is a pair of fake Raybans or perhaps some real ones. Once nobody can see your face through your pair of sweet spectacles, you know the word “summer” is just hiding round the corner - just don’t lose them in the sea.

“Nothing shouts ‘summer’ like flimsy £1.50 Primark flip flops”

Flipflops: Forget about ‘sun’s out guns out’; whether you’re still in Newcastle or are in the Caribbean, it’s glows out toes out when the sun is shining. Nothing shouts summer more than a pair of Havianas, or flimsy £1.50 Primark flipflops. Sun-cream: Don’t spend your summer with third degree heat burns. There are so many Geordie tanning booths round here that you may as well get spray tan than ruin your lovely skin from physically sizzling from the sun. Once you’re burnt, you’ll be having to sit inside with a fever, whilst everyone else is still running through sprinklers. Trust me, it’s not fun. Money: Any dreams of going abroad this summer can only be solidified with those weird textured papers with the Queen’s face on it, or that bit of plastic filled with invisible coins. Many of us will need to get a job over summer first, before we can hit any beach. The sun: This one’s a tricky one to get hold of, but if you find it, I’d try to keep it as close as you possibly can. Put it in am air-tight sealed glass jar, or lasso it with a large rope and tie it to the end of your bed. WE NEED SUN! It’ll improve your mood, give you that necessary source of Vitamin D and just make everything in general better.

7KH ROG FUXVK JROG UXVK

e all have that person who we have always had a crush on. Whether they’re your partner (and you succeeded in landing them and keeping them during Uni), that hottie on your course who always gives you the seductive eyes (but you were too shy and mesmerised by their beauty to ever move in for the kill), that ex you always wanted to get back with because you’re still oh-so madly (secretly) in love, or that friend you always had a thing for but were too scared to make a move on in case of losing the great friendship between you two… When is ever the right time to explain how you truly feel?

“Here’s the ultimate question: do you make the move before they leave?” But wait! Here’s the new dilemma: They are leaving Uni – or you are. Gap year students, third years who are graduating, if you are one of these or your desired lover is, then mate, you’ve got a problem. One of you might never see the other one ever again. Ever, ever, ever again… sounds pretty daunting, huh. But before they leave, or you disappear from their life forever, is there still potential to create this love-match? Has time ticked out? Now here’s the ultimate question: do you make the move before they leave?

Yes: LW¶V QRZ RU QHYHU %XFN XS Look, you’ve liked this person for a while. Is there any harm in admitting it? The worst-case scenario is they turn you down, but you’ll never have to lose face because you will probably never see them ever again. Chances are, they probably have fancied you all this time too and just thought you weren’t interested. Well you did wait a while to tell ‘em. Why not just go in for that cheeky kiss? It might lead to a great night of passionate sex, or, just a “good luck in the future” – but you still managed to pull at least. Even better, it might possibly bloom into a beautiful relationship between the two of you! Who knows? Personally, I’d rather do things that might lead to regret than not do them at all. You should only not do things when you truly know beforehand that you’re going to regret your actions afterwards, but if you’re not quite sure, then try it and see. If you know you’ll regret it, then steer clear. Then again, if you never try, you’ll never really know. It is better to take the risk of potentially being turned down than looking back your whole life and thinking, “What would have happened if..?” You will never know the outcome until you try! So go unleash your rampant emotions and inner sex-god, then get back to me on how it goes. Good luck, kids.

No: WKLV LV REYLRXVO\ D WHUULEOH LGHD DQG WKH IDFW \RX¶UH DVNLQJ VXJJHVWV \RX NQRZ WKLV Steve Stifler, doyenne of the gold rush scene. Do you really want to be like Stifler?

This would not specifically be my answer of choice, as I am a big romantic at heart. But, there are a good set of reasons to not go ahead with that gold rush feeling. What is a gold rush? A rapid movement to get gold – therefore, the gold rush crush is the snap decision to hit on your crush before they go! Problems here? The snap decision. You haven’t thought this through! You FOOL! Go back to your pen and paper pad, and list down all the positives and negatives. With that, you can debate the ongoing heartbreak, shame and degradation associated with being turned down. Plus, you might have just ruined a friendship you spent your whole university career cultivating. Way to go, chuckie. If you liked them before, why did you wait to tell them now? You will both be going in completely separate directions, moving on from Uni life at Newcastle to start fresh somewhere else. WITH someone else. Oh, they do like you too? Good work, Sherlock. It took you 3 years to work that out and now they will probably be working the other side of the country to you. Or maybe even in another country. What a pointless end! Unless you can work it out of course. A note of caution to all students sticking around Newcastle next year: Get them soon before you lose them forever. Holly Suttle

18.fashion

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Amy O’Rourke and Hannah Fitton Online Fashion Editor: Hannah Goldstein

Max Factor Charlotte Maxwell

Model of the moment Chantelle Winnie has Vitiligo, and she’s causing a storm in the fashion world

In the mid-st of it

The midi-skirt is the most coveted garment this season. Fashion Editor Hannah Fitton picks out her favourites

hantelle Winnie is currently the model of the moment who has been taking the catwalk by storm. And it’s not just eagle eyed fashion designers and critics who are following her, she’s also being followed by a multitude of artists and photographers across the globe. However, it is not just Chantelle’s stature, walk and overall air of an original kind of catwalk grace- it is her skin condition that has unfortunately gotten people talking. Winnie has Vitiligo- a condition of the skin in which damaged cells result in patches of the skin and hair turning white. The condition is often symmetrical and can cover both sides of the body in a mirror image sort of fashion. Winnie’s Vitiligo can be seen on her face, arms and legs and has become much of a talking point. Many critics have made the point that the former America’s Next Top Model Contestant’s condition is a huge milestone for the welcoming of diversity into the modelling industry. Whilst this is positive progress for the industry, it is worrying that in 2015, we still live in which beauty standards are highly specific and unreachable for most women- particularly for those who look visually ‘different’ in comparison to the “average” body. Having said this, the average body in the modelling world is so specific that it doesn’t seem appropriate to use this term and it would be more appropriate to refer to this particular body type as an industry standard.

“Winnie is a firm believer that there is true beauty in everything and that none of us should be allow others to categorise us” Back to Winnie- she is tall, slender with amazing bone structure and a killer walk to rival that of Naomi Campbell and Tyra Banks. There are always so many additional hurdles for a women of colour to get into the industry and it is often hard for them to avoid being placed in situations in which cultural appropriation is rife and it is near impossible to ignore the chimes of ‘token black woman, much’. Winnie, however, has managed to break into the industry- despite the ever apparent microaggressions that rear their heads at the sign of any woman who differs from the ‘industry standard’. She believes that the industry gives people what they want and thus, we must work towards changing people’s perspectives and making them more open to ‘difference’. In agreement with Winnie’s point, I truly believe that we can step away from Eurocentric beauty standards and the search for the ‘perfect’ body. A body is a body at the end of the day- what’s important is who we are as individual’s and how empowered we feel within ourselves. That is what makes us all truly beautiful in our own way.

Image; @ilikeurstyle

Topshop, £35

Topshop, £48

here was a time when you would squirm at the thought of wearing a skirt that’s hemline hung below the knee, but above the ankle, yet the coveted midi-skirt is changing all of that. Since 2013 this new length has been cropping up everywhere- from midi-dresses, to pencil skirts, to culottes it works in all forms. Plus it is perfect for this ‘in-betweeny’ ‘not-made-it’s-mind-up’ weather we are having right now, as only a tiny bit of flesh is on show. Yet despite all of this, there is still something unnerving about ditching the typical above the knee cut in favour of the midi-skirt. However, scaling the shops for the perfect midi, you will be donning the skirt in no time. Firstly, you need to select a good old midi-skirt that will become your staple, and fortunately there are a whole bunch of gorgeous ones on offer at the moment. Surprisingly M&S have really shone this season; they have designed a caramel coloured

Topshop, £30

suede midi with white detailed stitching, inspired by their archive shots from the ‘70s and ultimate style icon Jane Birkin, it is perfect. It has caused quite a stir amongst the fashion elite with Pandora Sykes, fashion columnist for The Sunday Times Style magazine, asking ‘could this skirt save M&S?’, and others labelling it ‘THAT skirt!’ on Instagram. Unfortunately, it’s becoming rather hard to get your hands on one, as it’s sold out everywhere. However, thankfully good old Topshop have come to save the day as always. They have a very similar version of the M&S skirt, in the form of a caramel cord midi skirt, and at just £35 it is just dreamy. During winter every other girl in the Robinson was wearing the cord a-line skirt from Urban Outfitters in either black or burgundy, and this Topshop midi-skirt is just a slightly more summery, and on trend, update. For the braver of us, it also comes in white- even more ideal for the summer season.

Topshop, £48 Denim midi-skirts are another firm favourite. Again, Topshop gets full marks for their button through denim midi-skirt, a simple style, yet the silver buttons down the front spice it up and at £30 it is a steal. It sits just above your hips, so pair it with a cropped turtle neck or cropped little teeshirt for summery days, or a cosy jumper tucked in for colder days. Finally, we can’t forget the pleated midi skirt. Unlike the other two skirts, which are made of quite stiff material, the pleated is often comfier to wear as it is usually made of cotton, and the pleats mean that it swishes around when you move. Monki have a great selection of midis, from the basic grey and blacks to more funky prints in yellow and navy. Again, pair it with a little crop top and you are good to go. So whether it be cord, denim or pleats make sure the midi-skirt becomes your wardrobe summer staple.

Now let’s sustain it

After 2012’s Fashion Sustainability Summit, brands across the globe are rapidly becoming eco-minded. Tessa Jones investigates

n May 2012, the world’s largest Fashion Sustainability summit took place in Copenhagen, where over 1000 industry insiders met to discuss how fashion impacts the world surrounding it. This was possibly a catalyst for a growing change in principles regarding the development of sustainability. This is where designers and brands are looking at more ways in which to create a production system which is supportive of the environment and social responsibility in the long term. I’m sure we all remember the controversy surrounding the sweatshops Primark supposedly use to produce their cheap clothing and this is only one example of the poor sustainability that labels are now trying to reject. Fast fashion can have a devastating effect on the areas in which they are produced, from abysmal working conditions in sweatshops to pollution and exploitation of people or resources. The fashion industry as it is cannot carry on in this direction. Designers have in the past made generous charitable donations or held galas in aid of various causes, which went some way to offset the production of their garments, but this doesn’t seem to be enough these days. Labels at every level are moving

towards more eco-friendly production methods. The renewability and types of materials being used are coming in to focus, with all natural existing fibres being favoured – organic isn’t just for your fruit and veg. As a pioneer of sustainable fashion, People Tree creates their garments with ‘respect for people and the planet’. Since founding 20 years ago, this label

“If you want to look great whilst keeping a clear conscience, take a look at how your clothes are produced next time you hit the shops”

has partnered up with farmers and manufacturers in the developing world on a fair trade basis, creating apparel which is both environmentally viable and ethically mindful. They have policies to promote organic farming, using biodegradable substances and recycling any-

thing possible, all of which can only have a positive impact on the local and global environment. One sustainable brand you may not recognise, but whose founder you definitely will, is Edun. Launched by U2 frontman Bono and his wife Ali Hewson in 2005, the brand aimed to support industry in Africa by sourcing all their production from there. By generating fair-trade based relationships, Bono, who has long sought to help growth in Africa, hoped to bring about change for the continent through them helping themselves as opposed to direct aid. Such as started by charity shops, there is an increase in the number of labels using recycled materials to produce their designs or even upcycling existing clothing, where alterations are made to an original piece to create something new. Junky Styling is one such eco-minded brand, with most of their garments produced in-house with excellent working conditions. They also encourage customers to bring in their old clothes for revamping instead of buying something new. If you want to look great whilst keeping a clear conscience, take a look at how your clothes are produced next time you hit the shops and you may make more difference than you realise.

The Courier

fashion.19

Monday 18 May 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion Instagram:@thecourierfashion | Facebook: facebook.com/thecourierfash | Email: c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk |

Bowe down to Erika Erika Bowes is Newcastle’s favourite student blogger. Fashion Editor Hannah Fitton tells us why she is the one to follow

have been hooked on Newcastle based blogger, Erika Bowes’ Instagram ever since a picture of her with cropped silver hair, and donning a cream coloured turtleneck and a pair of black sleek culottes graced my popular page. Bearing in mind this was two years ago, and culottes weren’t a ‘thing’ then. Erika is a student at Northumbria University,. However, her feed suggests otherwise, frequently spending her weekends in London and Manchester. She uploads pictures in each city, hanging out with equally well dressed friends in snazzy sushi restaurants and sleek bars. From time to time “ she heads a little further afield, such as her trip to Montreal earlier this year, which Erika was flown out to by Shellys London. Remember Shellys? They were a half-hearted shoes store that must have fled the high street a good few years ago. However, Shellys have radically reinvented themselves, now featuring some of the best shoes at high street prices, and Erika, along with a few other bloggers, was called upon for to front their S/S15 campaign. In one photograph Erika is wearing a pair of grey shoes with a chunky, corrugated, white sole – the ultimate in ugly shoe.

Erika’s style is seamless; her staple colours are white, black and cream, she loves sharp lines, and clothes with a good cut. Gone are garish bright colours, or generic patterns, her style is clean and grown up. I am most envious of her coat collection, with oversized khaki duster coats to cropped camel jackets, she has one for every occasion. I once spotted her at the till in Waitrose, shamelessly slightly star struck I gawped as she packed her veg into a carry bag. It was 5pm on a weeknight, and yet she sported an oversized pastel coloured coat, denim mom jeans and white stan smith’s, and I stood behind her in a black jeans and a puffa coat. It was raining, so I do have an excuse, but still she looked effortlessly chic in a supermarket- the true sign of style. Like all bloggers, Erika ” uploads pictures of delicious looking food. Ranging from sushi from Sushi Samba, to lentil bowls by Ottolenghi, to vegan almond butter cookies made by herself. Erika’s feed inspires many of her followers to make those dishes (just see the comments), although for me it just gives me that extra push to take a trip to Nudo. Also, her uploads of cocktails at Lola Jeans and pizzas at The Herb Garden unlocked places I’d never heard of in Newcastle be-

fore, and of course I diligently went and tried them out, they are good. So why not head over to @erikabowes and become one of her 71.3k followers, you won’t look back.

Instagra,: @erikabowes

My big fat chic wedding Wedding season is upon us, and Fran Tomlinson shows us which high-street items make the perfect marriage

one of the colours in the pattern – that way you can incorporate another colour easily into your outfit. Pastel colours are great for girls that prefer wearing lighter colours, and it stops you committing the worst crime at a wedding by wearing white. Go for a contrast with the accessories by including some metallic jewellery, such as a metallic necklace and some stacking rings. Embellished clutch bags look great with a simple dress, especially with some glitzy flats to go with it.

Tessa Jones

With two of the coolest celebrities as her parents, it was only a matter of time before Lily-Rose Depp became the next big thing

I once spotted her at the till in Waitrose, shamelessly slightly star struck I gawped as she packed her veg into a carrier bag

adies, wedding season is upon us once again. Weddings are certainly a difficult one for fashion: the first aim in an outfit is finding something that looks fabulous in the church (without upstaging the bride of course). However, you also need something comfortable for the evening do – if you’re anything like me, one too many glasses of sparkle and a classic wedding anthem is a recipe for a good dance and sing along. For those of you who dare to wear, invest in a bold patterned dress – a good pattern will last a lifetime and you are sure to stand out from the crowd. High neck/halter neck dresses are still very popular for the coming summer months. With the rest of the outfit, it’s best to stay simple as it will bring out the pattern of the dress without making your look too overwhelming. Team with some complimenting heeled sandals and, if possible, find a bag to match

Lily-Rose Depp

If you fancy mixing it up a bit with an alternative wedding-attendee outfit, go for trousers. Celebrities such as Cara Delavigne have time and time again shown the world that, yes, women can wear suits too, and yes, we look sexy doing it. Tailored cigarette style trousers are forever increasing in popularity, and in my opinion a staple for any girl’s wardrobe. If you go for dark trousers, pick a light top and vice versa. If you’re worried about the weather turning chilly in the evening, try and get a fitted blazer that matches the trousers and outlines your figure. As for footwear, although you could definitely get away with heels, cigarette style trousers work really well with brogues – even at formal events like a wedding. As for accessories, keep the jewellery simple with a long pendant necklace and a statement handbag.

t the Chanel Metiers d’Art show in New York in March, the media attention was focused on a petite 15 year old girl in an eye-catching blue and lavender coordinate. Previously relatively unknown, Lily-Rose Depp made quite the fashion debut – but what do you expect from the child of a Hollywood legend and a Parisian model? Lily-Rose’s sudden emergence in to the media spotlight is not entirely surprising, however. Friends with the likes of Willow and Jaden Smith, this Parisian-born girl has an impressive social media following and regularly posts vine videos, all aiding her sudden ‘It Girl’ status. Although I want to avoid any offense, it seems that the LA based offspring of Johnny Depp hasn’t actually done a whole lot when compared to other media stars her age. She hasn’t released an album or starred in a hit movie, I’m not even sure she’s ever even given an interview. Yet Lily-Rose now seems to be on a par with the stardom of other teen media sensations. However, she does have her first starring role in the movie Yoga Hosers set for release on June 1st, which will only catapult her status further.

“Yet Lily-Rose now seems to be on a par with the stardom of other teen media sensations” Not a whole lot is known about the young girl, other than what she posts herself on her social media – a google search of her name brings up all her pages as the top results. From her Instagram page (@lilyrose_depp), it seems Lily-Rose just does what all normal teenagers do. She goes shopping, drinks frappucinos, puts toothpaste on her spots and hangs out with her friends. But then she also classes Karl Lagerfeld as a close family friend and wears haute couture on weekends. It’s swings and roundabouts. The spitting image of her Chanel-muse mother when she was a similar age, Lily-Rose has garnered a lot of fans simply from her great fashion sense. It was the Chanel two-piece that really got her noticed, but she dresses incredibly chic whilst still maintaining her 15 year old innocence, as seen throughout her social media platforms. Her dark blonde bob has become a signature piece of her styling, framing her face beautifully and leaving more room for expression in her outfits. A fan of denim mom jeans with cult tees and a casual dress, Lily-Rose dresses very age appropriate and is worlds apart from other teen stars such as 17 year old Kylie Jenner. Lily-Rose has captured the world’s attention with very little effort, with most of us eagerly awaiting what she will do next. But when your parents are that super cool, you can be sure it’s going to be something spectacular.

20.beauty

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Beauty Editors: Charlotte Davies and Charlotte Maxwell Online Editor: Kathy Davidson

The best of beauty

You’re only young once Hannah Jack talks ageist apps, botox and misguided pro-youth advertising

Kathryn Holland gives us her ultimate beauty best bits after three years at uni

hinking back over my three years of university, I feel that this year I have learnt the most. I don’t mean just academically, but also, in life. I’ve learnt that I should strive for what’s best for me, that sometimes I need to put myself and my needs first, and that I should never settle for second best. Most of all, I’ve learnt to believe in myself more, to have faith in my decisions. I have tried to channel this found knowledge into this column. I have been dedicated in my aim to advise the students of Newcastle University what beauty products and regimes out there are the best. I believe it’s important to keep your body healthy and happy and to buy products that are have the maximum benefits for you. I hope that this column has helped you discover some of the great products and regimes out there. Here are some my favourites from this year:

La Roche Posay Anthelios Melt-In Cream

La Roche Posay’s Anthelios Melt-In Cream SPF 50: This beauty of a product helps to reduce the appearance of skin-induced dark spots. It’s easy to apply and has a lovely weight finish which is nongreasy. Another plus is that it’s water resistant so it’ll stay on even after a dip in the pool. It’s 100% going to be in my back pack when I go travelling in March!

A few favourite fragrances

These three scents, Tom Ford Velvet Orchid, Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium and Wood Sage and Sea Salt by Jo Malone are, in my opinion the some of the greatest smells in the world! The first is a twist on Tom Ford’s original scent Black Orchid. It’s less heavy than its predecessor but still has a wonderfully deep intoxicating smell which lasts all day.

“The smell instantly conjures images of rugged cliffs and shingle beaches – pure heaven”

The second was released this year and was instantly a winner with base notes of sandalwood, vanilla and patchouli it’s a highly decadent smell which is undeniably feminine. The third is a perfect scent for the day time. The smell instantly conjures images of rugged cliffs and shingle beaches – pure heaven! When I smell them in the future they’ll definitely transport me to this final year of uni and all the good times I’ve had.

The trusty Tangle Teezer I feel like I harp on and on about this final product all time. But, I literally don’t know what I’d do without my Tangle Teezer. I feel that it will be my essential handbag companion for years to come. It’s simply the greatest hairbrush that has ever been created! (Even my dad has one now.) So, that’s it, I pass the ‘Best of Beauty’ baton with great pride on to the next beauty section devotee. I hope you’ve all enjoyed reading this and I have done writing it. Have great summers! (I would like to dedicate this final column to my wonderful best friend, Charlotte Davies, who not only gave me the opportunity to write for beauty every week, but who is also my personal ‘eternal optimist’. xo)

here is the fun in actually knowing your own age? After all it is far more entertaining to submit your photographs to a website that then decides exactly what age you are and kindly assigns you a gender whilst its at it. It seems that if we are in doubt, lets just leave the Internet to figure it out. As a little test, just to see to what extend these age assigning websites provide accurate representations, 25 year old north east blogger, Rachel Charlton-Dailey (happylittlesyllables.co.uk) submitted four different photographs of herself to the website and shared them with us. Needless to say the variety of results speaks for itself. Now of course, for many of us the idea of being perceived older than what we are is to a degree quite complimentary. The ideas of being older and wiser have their own individual appeals. However, I see this as the starting point that feeds into a very negative cycle that reflects how our society views age. The market that has emerged telling us that ageing is a process that needs to be tackled and prevented from the moment we exit the womb is truly astounding. As a first year undergraduate student, I am constantly involved in conversations centred around the debate of “If I get botox right now, my wrinkles won’t appear until I am 40” or “Oh my

gosh, I found a grey hair the other day”. This just reflects the idea that ageing is just this terrible and unfortunate process that needs to be tackled as soon as possible. I cannot begin to stress how much I support the idea of individuals doing anything to empower themselves and make themselves feel comfortable in their own skin. This is where the line needs to be drawn. If it is an individual’s preference to dye their hair to get rid of any emerging grey hair because it makes them feel more secure and happy within themselves, then I consider that to be a fundamentally important process. However, it should be made obvious that there is no inherent need to actually undertake the process in the first place, if the individual feels comfortable with their grey hairs, wrinkles and all the other visible signs of ageing. When we consider whether this app picks up on the presence of make up, that raises many questions. I suppose it can be quite contested, the idea of youth is that we are still experimenting with our identity so we tend to wear more makeup, but equally as we get older we are sort of pushed to wear more in order to hide what is going on. The websites are unable to make a clear distinction between these two things, is it basing its judgement of the ideas that we are younger because we wear

more makeup because we are still being experimental or does it class us as older as we are trying to hide our signs of ageing? The important thing that I feel needs to be recognised is that altering our appearances to diminish signs of ageing should be something that is a personal choice and is done out of individual desire and is not something that is a result of wider societal pressures and external forces telling us we have to do this. Of course, to what extent it is possible to make these decisions without the influence of a society telling us that preventing ageing is something we should do is something I am becoming increasingly sceptical about. The power of advertising and the focus on youth culture is virtually unparalleled. The representation of age across all aspects of life is so inherently focused on youth that it almost becomes a case that we are trying to hide the ageing population - because surely if we cant see them or the effects of ageing is isn’t really there is it? I feel as though, to an extent, we are massively missing a really important fact that is staring us straight in the face. Ageing happens to all of us, and there is no quick fire fix that we can pick up that will ever stop this from happening.

Beauty and the ball: makeup In the last of our series on how to get ready for the many fancy parties this semester, Philly Russell shares her step by step makeup routine for the perfect summer ball look

o, you’re off to the ball and want a an evening summer look that’ll leave you looking much better than Cinderella. Begin by applying a primer to give your skin a glowy look but will make your makeup last all night long, my favourite is the Clarins Beauty Flash Balm (£24.95), but make sure you pat the cream in rather than a rubbing motion. Then we need a long lasting foundation. L’oreal match perfection foundation (£9.99), isn’t too pricey and will make you look flawless (cue Beyonce obviously). I would recommend applying this with a damp beauty blender, it’s a time consuming process, but nevertheless gives a perfect even finish. To conceal any blemishes apply the Nars Creamy Concealer (£22.00) under the eyes in a triangle shape and blend, make sure its in a shade lighter to highlight I am currently on a contouring hype at the moment but don’t really want to look too much like a corpse, so I love the Clinique contour stick (£19.00). As its a creamy product, it appears very natural yet adds shape to the face. I finish off the face with some blush and highlighter. I would suggest the Mac blush in Melba (£18.00) which is a beautiful peachy colour, followed by the MAC Soft and Gentle highlighter (£23.00) to the top of the check bones and down the nose. Also, not forgetting our eyebrows- just shape and fill in however you prefer. For me, good brows are highly important for framing your face. Now onto the main event- the eyes. Depending on what you are wearing, I would recommend a simple smokey eye, I prefer a brown tone eye rather than black as it can be too harsh. To make sure

your eye shadow stays in place begin with a primer. I love the MAC paint pot in Painterly (£15.50). If you are looking for an eyeshadow palette that does it all, the Urban Decay Naked palette 1(£38.00) is a must have. It has a beautiful selection of mattes and shimmers. Place the shade naked (a cool toned light beige colour) all over the lid and up to the brow bone. Then add the shade buck (a matte darker brown) onto the outer corner of the eye to darken. In the crease, place a mid toned brown using a windscreen wiper motion, then blend away. To add a bit of sparkle and light to the centre of the lid add the shade half baked (a shimmery gold colour) Finish off with the shade virgin (a champagne colour) to the brow bone and inner corners of the eye. Personally, I would then add some black liquid eyeliner with a small flick, a small amount of mascara and some falsies. I adore Tanya Burrs lashes in Date Night (£5.49), as they add the right amount of length and thickness to the lashes. But if you don’t want to go too dramatic, add a small amount of brown liner just to the outer half of the top lash line and mascara. With a smokey eye, I would always go nude on the lips. If you want your makeup to last I would recommend a lip liner. MAC liners are amazing- especially Whirl and Subculture. But if you want a drugstore alternative, try the Rimmel lip liner in Cappuccino (£2.90). Then top it off with a small amount of a lighter lipstick to the centre of the lips to make them look bigger- my go to is the Rimmel lipstick in Nude Delight. (£6.49). And there you have it, ready to go to the ball.

The Courier

beauty.21

Monday 18 May 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty Instagram @courier_beauty | Twitter @CourierBeauty

Summertime essentials

Charlotte Smith shares her top 3 essential products for the beach and the backyard

The cats that got the cream Flo Davies pulls out the best three beauty looks that have graced the catwalk this year

ummer is fast approaching and many of you will be getting ready for your Ibiza-type destinations or back packing across exotic countries. However, you will never be fully ready without this complete guide to summer essentials. Before I jump into the whole beauty side of it, I’d like you all to take a moment to read about the importance of sun cream because I’m sure many of you cut corners in that department. The one thing that should be everyone’s main priority when spending time in the sun is protecting yourself. Around 102,000 people are diagnosed with skin cancer every year in the UK therefore it is so important that you apply sun cream thoroughly, using an appropriate factor, and take the time to cover any moles or birthmarks. It’s easy to forget about the damaging effects of the sun when all you can think about is snapchatting your tan lines two days into your holiday and returning to university three shades darker but it really is worth taking the extra precautions. Even if you only take one thing away from this

article, remember this: sun creams go out of date. Some only last a year, some last eighteen months so be sure to check the bottle. Now let’s move onto what you really want to know. My top three beauty must haves for my holiday are: No.7 Hair Protecting Spritz, £7.00 Boots When you’re in the sun all day, your hair becomes really dry so this keeps it really hydrated. It’s nongreasy and it smells lovely – just spray it all over before going outside and again after swimming (or roughly three hours if you’re just out and about) and it’s not a large bottle so it won’t take up too much room in your bag! Estée Lauder DayWear, £38.00 For people who don’t like to go out without makeup but don’t fancy having foundation dripping off their face in 30 degrees heat, this one is for you. DayWear is a facial moisturiser which works with the pigment in your skin to give your face a natural tan. For people with very dry skin (like myself) I recommend using a tiny amount of your normal moisturiser first. DayWear also has SPF15 in it but

I still use a small amount of sun cream when the temperature exceeds 25 degrees. I tend to buy this in the airport as it is a lot cheaper in duty free. Nivea Sun Protect SPF30, £4.00, Boots In my opinion, it is so important to protect your lips from the sun as the skin on them is so delicate. Nivea Sun Protect comes in SPF30 or 50 and is waterproof so you don’t need to worry about it washing off in the sea. Definitely one to think about as the last thing you want is to pull a 10 in Zante and then scare him off when a layer of your lips falls off. As for your handbag, I recommend keeping a bottle of water, a handheld fan and insect repellent close by. Also swap to waterproof mascara so you can have lush lashes without the black eyes. One final piece of advice– learn the emergency services number! Anything can happen at any time and the last thing you want is to be stuck somewhere, unable to get help. Most of all, remember to have fun! As important as it is to stay safe on holiday, it’s also important to enjoy it. These little tips are just small things to remember to give your holiday that extra boost.

Get unready with me

Ellen Walker shares her wisdom on how to get your skin ready for bed

emoving make up and properly caring for your skin at night is more important than you might think; makeup left on the skin will block your pores and leave your skin greasy and blemished. Leaving mascara on overnight can result of flecks of the stuff falling into your eye and scratching your cornea, possible causing permanent damage to your eye sight. Leaving mascara on for too long will also dry out your lashes, leaving them brittle and causing them to break and become noticeably shorter. To protect your skin and keep it looking youthful for longer, it’s important to engage in a regular evening routine to remove all of the day’s grime and grease. We’re only human, and it’s easy to stumble in at 4am and struggle to get your key in the door- let alone guide a makeup wipe to your face. So, luckily leaving your face covered on whatever inhabits the air (or floor) of Sinners every once in a while won’t kill you (no promises though). Start with makeup wipes or remover and cotton pads, try and use brands such as simple which contain natural ingredients; harsh chemicals can really affect your skin over time and leave it damaged

and aged. This step will remove the surface layer of whatever it is you’ve applied to your face during the day and leave it feeling and looking a lot cleaner and fresher.

“The next step is to really dig deep and give your skin a proper and intense clean, exfoliating is important as it removes deep set dirt and dead skin cells to leave your skin soft and smooth”

The next step is to really dig deep and give your skin a proper and intense clean, exfoliating is important as it removes deep set dirt and dead skin cells to leave your skin soft and smooth. I personally recommend the Liz Earle skincare products, especially the ‘cleanse and polish hot cloth cleanser’, as it removes makeup and exfoliates simultaneously to save time. If you want a stronger exfoliation, Liz Earle also

has a face wash specifically designed to solely exfoliate the skin, really taking away all dry and damaged skin to reveal the new, more subtle skin underneath. Ensure you wash off any products afterwards with hot water followed by a splash of cold water to refresh your face and close up your pores again so dirt doesn’t get into them throughout the night. All this scrubbing can often dry out the skin slightly, so it’s important to brighten up your completion with a skin toner or a heavier moisturiser if you tend to have dryer skin. Toner is preferable for me as it refreshes and soothes your skin after the harsher exfoliation, as well as leaving it with a subtle layer of moisture. Ensure you don’t go overboard on the moisturiser or your skin will be left feeling greasy. Drinking a glass of water before bed can also help to re hydrate your skin throughout the night to give you more of a healthy glow. The most important thing is to get plenty of sleep (it’s called beauty sleep for a reason you know) to avoid waking up with dark circles under your eyes that no amount of concealer can hide and that lessthan-refreshed grey tinge to your complexion.

atwalk make up trends define the upcoming season, but what are the looks that truly captured this year’s catwalk?

Chloé A/W 15

It is the effortless beauty that’s so beguiling at Chloé. Chloé, a brand that epitomizes the superfluous French folderol that we all aspire to. For Autumn/Winter, The creative director Clare Waight Keller presented a feminine interpretation of seventies revival. ‘Lived-in and wearable’ summed up the beauty look for Chloé’s A/W15 and a nod to the seventies and minimalistic trends captivated Fashion Week.

“From Italian influences, the futures looking bright for next seasons skin, with lightly bronzed contouring complementing the slinky summer cutout lace dresses and Italian sorbet hues to perfection”

The show ushered in a sophisticated take on autumn/winter beauty and rather than looking towards emphasizing features we saw perfected skin and lightly flushed cheeks, plus subtle shading swept across the lid to create a rich, groomed look. Keller said backstage that she wanted to project the idea of a ‘gentlewoman – gentle on the inside but with a clean, sharp exterior’. Such a vision was clearly conveyed with the ethereal skin and bare base which complemented the delicate floral and sheer frills in the collection. Nothing illustrates the resurgence of the seventies more succinctly than the allure of the Chloé girl.

Topshop Unique A/W155 Topshop Unique’s outdoor beauty shined outdoor radiance. Hannah Murray, Topshop Unique’s beauty consultant and head of Topshop makeup for five years strived towards windswept hair and weather-flushed Rudy rouge cheeks of well-bred beauties in the great outdoors. A mixed up style dichotomy between the English countryside girl versus the city goer. From the mixture of textures in glossy green and corduroy blue, the Topshop girl had eighteenth sensibility ‘down to a T’. Understated beauty was achieved by the boyish brows and softly sculpted defined eyes, smudged with a nude and bare lashes.

Valentino S/S15

Pat McGrath created a pretty look at this S/S show with flushed cheeks and slightly contoured eyes. Brows were defined with minimal product, whilst lips were patted gently with concealer- the subtle make up look complementing the fresh flowers tucked neatly in-between French plaits on the crown of the models head. From Italian influences, the futures looking bright for next seasons skin, with lightly bronzed contouring complementing the slinky summer cutout lace dresses and Italian sorbet hues to perfection. For Maria Grazia Chiuri and Pierpaolo Piccioli, the two designers behind Valentino, it was their home country of Italy that provided the inspiration for their Spring/Summer collection. The collection was a homage to well travelled women. “It’s about this girl in the sun and in the sea, and the softness and femininity of a Valentino girl” mused hairstylist Guido Palau . “So it’s to conjure up the spirit of the summer, ease.” This idea of Italian ease was translated through the long, softly waved, centerparted hair that was tucked ever-so-slightly back at the ears.

22.arts

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Arts Editors: Lucy Chenery and Becka Crawshaw Online Arts Editor: Jess Harman

Control your splurges W

Holly Argent Privilege in the Arts

omeone told me that Nicholas Serota was at Baltic39 the other week…‘sorry who?’ I said. I didn’t know who that was (which is probably poor on my part) so I googled it and found it was Tate: London’s director, and a whole load of images came up with him and Chris Dercon (who has just stepped down as Tate Modern director) who seemed to be wearing a multitude of coloured scarves…must be his thing. I’d just watched the 2013 Italian film The Great Beauty by Paolo Sorrentino, which at a glance is visually a very beautiful film, every interior richly coloured and (too) exquisitely organised. The reason I mention this is that although contradiction in life was its unmistakable statement I found myself a little aggravated by the riches of the curators, writers and social elite characters (sad and disappointed as they were) and the way they sprawled through excessive opulence. From the expected glamorous parties, casual sex, to priest-like Botox surgeons waiting for you out of purgatory waiting rooms; there is privilege in excess. But because of their economic-security they seem to possess a privilege that is far more rare than guest list invites - the opportunity to pause life and analyse its absurdities and contradictions. It all seems a little un-real to me. Especially in terms of what most of us can relate to. Its alienation isn’t a bad thing of course, but it certainly doesn’t feel that pertinent to the vast majority of working people now (but perhaps it is different in Rome, where antiquity is treasured and culture held in high regard, certainly more than in this country). Then again artists to some extent have this freedom to just think - like the characters in the film, artists can have no answers, only questions and at times poised moments of clarity.

“All this opulence got me imagining Nicolas Serota dancing and getting high with Europe’s art scene on the roof of Tate Britain or the BALTIC”

All this opulence got me imagining Nicolas Serota dancing and getting high with Europe’s art scene on the roof of Tate Britain or the BALTIC but I digress. What it really got me thinking was where does privilege lie within the arts? Art itself can be privileging as a form of social exchange, for example using public spaces to carry questions, critique assertions and be curious and open-minded. But not everyone has access to these opportunities. Sir Anthony Seldon, master of Wellington College states for Create journal – ‘I would contend that unequal access to an education in the arts is one important reason [of stagnant social mobility]. In England, this is mostly limited to those already economically privileged. This is an unjust waste of national talent’. This idea that arts is for the privileged or wealthy (which comes hand in hand) to an extent carries on up the career ladder. Though as The Great Beauty suggests, being at the top, isn’t all that it seems and comes with a whole lot of artificiality. If the arts is not upped in the educational agenda then I only hope galleries become more of a place of generosity, practicality and an encouraging space of something other than materialism or economic gain. Image: Holly Argent

hat is the meaning of money to a bunch of billionaire elite art collectors?” I thought to myself following the colossal news in the ‘Art world’ that Pablo Picasso’s celebrated ‘Women of Algiers’ had sold in New York’s ‘Christie’s’ auction house for a whopping $179m (£115m). Whilst poverty in American is still very much a national crisis, affluence is equally in abundance and it wasn’t surprising to hear what some pompous individuals had been splurging their wages on. Setting a ground-breaking sale for 2015 (following the previous record purchase of Francis Bacon’s ‘Three Studies of Lucian Freud’ in 2013 for $142.2m), Picasso’s geometric wonder depicting three voluptuous women with exposed breasts and bottoms was sure to be a treat for the eye in any mans bedroom (although the sex of the buyers remain currently anonymous). Despite my personal esteem for Picasso’s work – visiting copious museums in my childhood and teens that were exhibiting any of his major works – the sheer dexterity of his brushwork and vibrant palette-choice were enough to see ‘in-the-moment’, save buying postcard-size reproductions from the gift shop and books on the artist costing up to £19.99 which, ironically in comparison to the paintings sale price, I thought was extortionate.

Rebekah Crawshaw contemplates whether New York’s art world has gone mad as Picasso’s ‘Les Femmes d’Alger’ (Version 0) is sold for a monumental $179m on 12th May

amelioration (in terms of price), as opposed to having an emotional connection with the artwork that would expand over time. My concern lies not in the fact that these buyers are ignorant in their estimates of the ‘value’ of money in life, but rather with Picasso himself. Picasso had, it is believed, great sympathy for the poor due to his povertystricken upbringing and this was often reflected in his art. Would he, therefore, desire his paintings to be sold for such exorbitant amounts? In my opinion, he wouldn’t. In fact, I think he’d be frankly

embarrassed and upset. His work was made to be aesthetically enriching and culturally symbolic, not enriching or culturally recognisable in a material sense. The answer to my question at the start is, then, “meaningless”. There is no significance to money in their lives. It is merely a foundation for them to prosper off, fooling people into believing that their physical possessions give them substance (definition) in their uncultured lives.

“What is the meaning of money to a bunch of billionaire elite art collectors?” It appears to me that genuine interest and love of art has vanished and has been replaced by avaricious aristocrats who feed off the likelihood of

Reviews

Three Blind Mice: Newbridge

The Other Side of You and Me: Vane

“As I nibble on red Leicester it becomes quickly apparent that the work in the room could not possibly have been produced by small blind rodents”

“Ruez’s work, however elegant and minimalist, powerfully bonded with the space, encouraging curiosity and reflection”

s I climb the stairs of Newbridge, the promising smell of cheese guides me to Three Blind Mice. As I nibble on red Leicester it becomes quickly apparent that the work in the room could not possibly have been produced by small blind rodents. Mice, especially blind ones, would lack the dexterity and perspective clearly needed to create the fragile balancing acts that Juliet Fleming’s ceramics and found objects exhibit. Wooden chairs that seem to float are in fact supported pivotally by thin, bare ceramic cylinders. Fleming’s work gestures poetically from the walls into the air, reflecting a playful relationship with the ‘white cube’ model.

The dying leaves of plants wrapped in cellophane are immortalised beside their dead subjects in vibrant reams of screen-prints that cascade from the walls to fold and roll on the ground. Caitiln Donaghy presents two realities of suspended nature: the painted trellis, mounted on the wall is climbed not by the thriving vegetation illustrated behind it, but by florescent pink, dead plastic. A video plays, appropriated footage from film and TV displays people engaged in ‘arting’. The room is filled with ‘art’ folk: Dr Martens on our feet and identical expressions of pseudo discernment on our faces as we nod and muse at the exhibits. Sparing a glance at the screen, we see ourselves reflected back: satirised and ridiculed, acknowledging the fact that we have no idea what any of this means either. Heather Reid

aving heard that this exhibition would be right up my street, I went along to admire the work of Jersey-born artist Simon Le Ruez. His third show at Vane seemed natural and well composed; the work consisted of three dimensional collage, sculptures and installations of a delicate nature. Described as being “seductively choreographed”, Ruez’s work, however elegant and minimalist, powerfully bonded with the space, encouraging curiosity and reflection. Firstly, you come across a variety of sculptures appearing to be made out of tissue paper, paint card and mounted on acrylic sheets; in my eyes they appeared to be abstract flower pots.

Following into the main room the exhibition began to unfold. A linear sculpture created out of thin metal poles inhabited the centre of the room, alongside it a simple composition of objects against the wall. On its own, the dark pink frame would have seemed dull but the pivotal addition of a sheet of luminous acrylic and minuscule, dainty hanging objects formed a striking narrative between the objects in this piece. Ruez gives us space to contemplate delicacy and contrast between rigid and the exquisite. The gallery gave me space to breath and understand the objects that Ruez had presented. Paying close attention to colour and placement, the way Ruez curated the space corresponded with the building itself, following the lines of the walls. I will leave some surprises for you all, go and visit before June 20th and be hypnotised. Lucy Chenery

The Courier

arts.23

Monday 18 May 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierArts

Review: the Drama Festival Maria-Magdalena Manolova and Antonia Cundy review NUTS and Durham Student Theatre’s weekend Drama Festival

Accessible Arts Jennifer Hopps explores artwork that’s not so accessible

aving spent all year writing about art which is accessible (sort of), I’ve decided to end the year by talking about some of the most inaccessible art out there. You know the sort: the painting that has a red square and a couple of blue circles in random sections on the canvas which sells for about £10,000; loads of rubbish stuck together to make a ‘sculpture’, which some critics decide represents the ugliness of the world or some other bollocks… The most disturbing piece of art I’ve ever seen was at the Yorkshire Sculpture Park – I was about thirteen and what I saw was a touch traumatising. In an outdoor barn, there it was: a cow carcass suspended from the ceiling, dripping blood onto a canvas below with cow pat and straw littered around the rest of the room.

“The meaning behind a lot of modern art is what makes it accessible”

Day 1

rama Festival, featuring students from Newcastle University Theatre Society (NUTS) and Durham Student Theatre, didn’t fail to meet its audience’s high expectations. The first half of the two-day event, which took place in the Venue, included The End of the World Was Last Tuesday, The Spectrum and Ozymandias. The End of the World Was Last Tuesday is a comedy that the audience can very easily relate to, because everybody would probably behave strangely and do things considered impossible and inappropriate if they believed that the end of the world was coming, wouldn’t they? This is what happens with Bernard. Warned that the big apocalypse is taking place anytime soon, he indulges himself in satisfying suppressed desires, which makes him blush on the day after the end of the world that actually didn’t come. It definitely gets the audience thinking about what they would do in a situation like this – would they call their parents and tell them whole-heartedly how grateful they are for everything, or would they have sex with their boss? The second play, The Spectrum, explores the idea that even though our society is quite diverse (and can be therefore referred to as a spectrum), all people still share the same goal – inner growth, which derives from chasing the truth. Five passengers are waiting for the bus for so long, that when it finally arrives, they can’t afford to miss it. Unfortunately, having no tickets, they have to impress the bus driver with a flower which serves as a symbol for their ‘spiritual blossom’. And the bus travel can be metaphorically be seen as a journey to paradise but as it is said at the beginning of the play, “only when man has reached his true potential may he pass from here to paradise”. Before the beginning of the last play for the night, Ozymandias by Durham Student Theatre, the position of all the seats was changed so that the audience was almost surrounding the stage as if it was an Ancient Greek arena. Of course, there wasn’t anything coincidental in doing so, as the main (and in fact one and only) actor – Ozymandias, is the King of Kings. The play is overwhelming in the sense that it is constantly perplexing its spectators with the un-

certainty of what is staged and what is pure improvisation. Ozymandias touches upon the key theme of immortality by challenging its reputation of something that everybody longs for. The King of Kings enchants the audience by being wittily ironic and self-ironic. Every time he starts sounding too deeply philosophical and rather abstract, he stops in order to “wake up” the spectators that are watching him in awe. This radically transforms the one-way nature of the monologue of the king to an active interaction that engages the spectators as his subjects. Maria-Magdalena Manolova

Day 2 The second night of the NUTS Drama Festival opened with Sauce, a play centred round six students sitting in the library, with voiceovers projecting their inner thoughts. The voiceovers were sharp and funny, and incredibly relatable – from justifying scrolling through Facebook for another 5 minutes before starting to work, to checking out hotties sitting nearby. Rambunctious, brass, and cheesy in a good way, Sauce provided a laugh-outloud start to the evening. With YOLO hats, discussions about anal, and three multi-sexual kisses in the end minute, what wasn’t there to love? Dog Treats was up next, where retired Terry Hamilton is visited by an unexpected and ominous visitor late one night. Through cleverly adapted flashbacks and illusory conversations, the audience were led to see what Terry’s dodgy past career involved, and what fate might meet him that night. A slow start to the play nevertheless developed into a complex production that not only thrilled with its MI5-style plot, but also raised thoughtful points about deception, family life, and true happiness. A particularly well-worked moment was a flashback to the younger Terry making small-talk with the wife of a man he’s about to murder, who slowly draws him out of his reserved, professional shell by asking about his wife. We felt Terry’s real pain when the husband returns, and he walks off to stage to murder them. Moments of light humour relieved the audience well when needed from the heavy topic of the play. The penultimate play of the evening, 6hrs 54mins,

was nothing short of absolutely bloody hilarious. Five students share a carpool to London; the beautifully dick-ish ‘sick lad’ Ed, stuck-up Scarlett, Millie who just wants to please, quiet nerd-boy Nick, and the stressed-out driver Joe. Over the course of the journey, the group get to know each other surprisingly well, and it turns out there’s a bit of good even in the worst of them. Flowing on a incredibly cleverly written and side-splittingly funny script that was delivered with perfect comic timing by the cast, there was barely a second during the play that didn’t have the audience in fits of laughter. The characters were the perfect stereotypes of themselves, and poignant revealing moments stopped the play from being just one big laugh and made it into the perfect comedy.

“All round, a fabulous collection of plays that off-set each other well”

The final play was the one NUTS are taking to Edinburgh Fringe, If Only Diana Was Queer!, so high expectations were aroused. And they weren’t let down. Instantly arresting was the beautifully designed set, that abounded with detailed props and colour, and the three flamboyantly costumed drag queens on stage. The play provided a perfect mix of bawdy sexual humour, not unaided by three men cavorting around in lipstick and high heels whilst slapping their bums, and touching flashbacks to teenage boys dealing with the problems of unsettled lives at home, family issues and living in children’s homes to escape abusive parents, as well as the trials of coming out the closet. The three main drag queens were supported by an unbelievably flexible cast who slipped perfectly into the varying extra roles demanded in the flashbacks – including an I-might-be-sick-I’m-laughing-sohard scene where an inspired drama teacher takes on the character of an unborn baby, and enacts being squeezed out the vagina. All round, a fabulous collection of plays that off-set each other well – if the audiences reactions were anything to go by, the night was a roaring success, and we’re looking forward to next year. Antonia Cundy

If you can tell me what that was meant to represent – and, incidentally, if it was worth the smell – I bow down to your higher intelligence, because to be quite honest droplets of cow blood in a room reeking of shit is not my idea of meaningful art. There are lots of debates about whether certain pieces of modern art can really be counted as ‘real art’. Whilst I tend to argue that it is real art, I can see why some people doubt – after the oil paintings of the Renaissance and the Impressionist paintings made up of perfectly regulated dots, a blank canvas with a black line across it doesn’t exactly demonstrate the same level of technical skill. However, the meaning behind a lot of modern art is what makes it accessible. In my dad’s study at home he has a modern painting: it depicts an apocalyptic city, with crocodiles and sharks eating the buildings, technology breaking and setting on fire and, in the centre, a child escaping on a unicorn, flying to the stars above. Even to someone dense like me, I can tell that it was intended as a criticism of consumerism and reflects concerns about modern reliance on technology, which may be destroying childhood innocence. Or maybe he just fancied painting a unicorn and thought ‘some art critic somewhere will be able to make something out of that’. As an English Literature student, the impulse to analyse anything and

“A lot of modern art deliberately tries to evade meaning. Artists produce work that they feel will challenge this culture we have of ascribing meaning to everything”

everything is strong – even when I’m pretty sure the artist just whacked blobs of colour at random onto the canvas and used red for no other reason than he/she liked it, I will try to seek a meaning in the painting and decide that the red clearly means that he/she is angry. A lot of modern art deliberately tries to evade meaning. Artists produce work that they feel will challenge this culture we have of ascribing meaning to everything. Some art is made deliberately obscure, for no reason other than artists want it to have no set meaning, or even no meaning at all – they make art which is nothing more than what it appears to be. Whether or not you think art is art without meaning, or whether a lack of artistic skill means that a piece is not worthy of critical attention, there’s no denying that some modern art is just simply utterly inaccessible. Like that cow carcass – I mean, come on, what the heck did that represent? Or did the guy just really fancy taking the piss and want to watch people run horrified out of the barn and listen to them philosophise about its ‘deep meaning’… I suppose I’ll never know.

The Courier

Monday 18 May 2015

artsfeatures.25

Snapshot: Fine Art Degree Show Arts Editor Lucy Chenery offers up a sneak preview of this year’s Fine Art Degree Show, which you can catch from May 29th in the Hatton Gallery

26.filmfeatures features

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Film Editors: Rosie Rosie Bellini & David Leighton Online Editor: George Smith

Pleasure Island

Cinemapocalypse wow With the release of remake Mad Max on the horizon Rhian Hunter analyses H[DFWO\ ZKDW PDNHV DSRFDO\SVH EDVHG ¿ OPV VR JRGGDPQ WDVW\ PDQ À HVK RU XULQH"

e all love a bit of apocalyptic action. Whether it’s the classic zombie comedies like Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland, or the bleak, hopeless 28 Days Later, apocalyptically inclined films have been popular for years. But where does this popularity come from? The standard apocalyptic metanarrative tends to be set in a dystopian society, ravaged by either natural disaster or pandemic disease, with a hero attempting to find order in the chaos of the desolated world, either against that which caus ed humanity’s decline, or against t h o s e whose immorality – symptomatic of the debilitat-

Underworld 1, 2, 3 & 4

he Underworld series has had many a tween squee-ing at it’s Matrix-esque outfits and hot-to-trot protagonist, Selene’s (Kate Beckinsdale) bad-ass one liners. However, I think, like many a thing we enjoy in our younger years, that as time goes on – we realise it sucks. Lets be honest, Underworld kinda sucks balls, hard. Unfortunately it never quite figured out how to go the way of its’ contemporaries, such as Linkin Park, Papa Roach and jeans with chains attached to them – all of whom had the good sense to just go away after a while. Unfortunately, like most of the characters in the films themselves, this franchise simply will not die. Apparently they’re doing a fifth one which strikes confusion among most of us because – frankly – we stopped watching half way through the second one. From the shoddy plot (I’m looking at you Underworld 2 – The Quakening) to the rinse and repeat nature of its sequels, it is definitely time for this franchise to die. However, I shall endeavour to find something decent in this hodge-podge of cliché that qualifies for a “supernatural” flick.

“I’m honestly quite certain that no one will ever, ever have the gall to complain that such gothic spandex did not suit Beckinsdale; her leather clad bottom is enough to make anyone weak at the knees”

Well, the first definitely had appeal. As aforementioned, the outfits were ripped straight out of the Wachowski siblings’ wardrobe, but they do look bad-ass. Or at least at the time they did. Furthermore, I’m honestly quite certain that no one will ever, ever have the gall to complain that such gothic spandex did not suit Beckinsdale, her leather clad bottom is enough to make anyone weak at the knees. Also, there really wasn’t very much else in the way of this kind of supernatural Power Rangers shit, and whilst you had the gnawing suspicion that your mum would call it crap, it was an excellent film to pretend to watch for anything other than the previously mentioned bottom. Also Bill Nighy’s portrayal of the big-bad coven king, Viktor, suffused the first film with enough decent acting that you could actually forget you were watching 90210, with monsters. He was cool, he was scary and he was a tad sexy if I must admit. Plus, in Chunderworld 2, there’s the ever lovely presence of Paul Bettany as Darwin – the chronicler of all (what a dainty little reference). He kills the role, although I suppose for Bettany (the best Chaucer ever) it was probably just a cash-and-grab kind of role, seeing as he’s in it for all of ten minutes. So whilst it was never going to win any Oscars, Christ, it’d be lucky to get a razzie it’s so forgettable; Underworld has its moments, it’s weird, Freudian, blood-drinking, PG-sexing moments. David Leighton

ing apocalyptic conditions – thrives in such a world. There’s the odd deviation from this template, but they’re few and far between. Take The Road, Road for example: the nameless ‘man’ and ‘boy’ of Cormac McCarthy’s heart-wrenching novel wander the ash-covered remains of a world devastated by natural disaster, implied to be linked to global warming. The sheer realism of the film adaptation – complete with ravenous cannibals, but minus the soul destroying spit-roasted baby from the book – provides the sense of unease that reminds us of the ease with which humanity could descend into savagery in the face of complete ruin. Despite the obviously sickening nature of the ‘baddies’ in The Road,, their inclusion is not merely to add some gore and shock value: in the apocalypse genre, the contrast between good and evil human nature is key. The ‘goodies,’ then, the father and son duo magnificently portrayed by Viggo Mortensen and Kodi SmitMcPhee, serve as a reminder of the strength of humanity and the possibility of survival without transcendence from what is morally just. Of course, not all apocalypse films are as successful as the likes of The Road… Yes, I’m talking World War Z.. It’s atrocious – it’s the perfect example of how to completely ruin perfectly adequate source material with the injection of a bit of Hollywood pizzazz, and, of course, Brad Pitt. In what appears to be an attempt to bring the cult novel’s carefully constructed plot to the

big screen in blockbuster form, World War Z fell victim to the curse of the blockbuster – too much action, too many plot-holes, too little substance. Ranging from Brad Pitt’s indestructible stay-athome-dad-who-can-also-outrun-superfast-zombies-and-survive-plane-crashes character to the completely and utterly ridiculous ‘cure’ that this stay-at-home-dad just happens to figure out all alone despite a ten-year GLOBAL ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. Surely they’ve got scientists on that? How is it that after so long, all it takes is Brad Pitt, who should have died at least three times, to save humanity? Hollywood, people, good ol’ Hollywood. But even if they’re shit – we still love them. As much as I’ll probably never watch World War Z again, I kinda did love the spectacle, the global element, which admittedly must have been really difficult to pull off without any continuity errors. Really, we seem to have nothing better to do with their time than to speculate the end of the world and how eventually some beautiful hunky all-round good guy comes to save us out of sheer luck.

All suited and re-booted

With many lovely, lovely days in sight as Mad Max gets a sequel/reboot, Simon Ramshaw looks at some of the better - and worse - examples of the form

ith the incoming arrival of a re-suited and rebooted Mad Max thundering down Fury Road towards us, it seems like a timely time to reflect on the sins and the glories of 80s reboot in days gone by. Remakes are rocky, unpredictable territory, ranging from being too faithful to the original to wildly blood-drunk on their own misplaced creativity. But occasionally, like the sight of a lighthouse in the middle of a stormy sea, there is a reboot that is so much of a saviour that it might even be better than the original. But, for now, let’s focus on the missteps before we get to the, um, good steps. Films that profess to be new and taking the original in new directions should be approached with caution, as any film trying to replicate the quality of the original while straying away from it is a film to be wary of. I’m referring to

the type of neutered entertainment like José Padilha’s Robocop, which chooses to remove the gory ultra-violence of the original and give everyone’s favourite law-enforcing cyborg a heart. The result is a breezy piece of entertainment with a paperthin comment on loss of identity and a 12A certificate slapped on the front of it. Sam Jackson gives his all, but it’s more of a yawn than a spit-out-yourpopcorn-in-amazementat-the-crazy-head-shotyou’ve-just-seen. Be wary again of the film that tries to fill in the blanks. John Carpenter’s The Thing was a remake anyway, so did it really need prequel-ising in an attempt to milk the fan-boys’ udders a little more? I don’t think so, with Matthijs van Heijningen’s attempt at adding to the Thing canon with a disappointing reliance on substandard CGI and jump scares compared to the original’s intricate practical effects and creeping sense of dread. The obsessive need to fill in the gaps more or less kills the mys-

tique of the events beforehand, even prolonging the misery with a post-credits scene. What really makes a good reboot is sticking to the original’s guns. And I’m not talking about the same plot and a smattering of references, I’m talking about the feel of it. Just look at Drive, effectively the greatest 80s reboot that wasn’t based on anything from the 80s. It simply nailed the cool vibe and respected films of its kind from three decades ago. It’s refreshing to see actual remakes take this advice on-board, with Franck Khalfoun’s superb remake of William Lustig’s Maniac embodying the trashy, electro-synth world of 1980s Los Angeles. It even finds room for the distinctly modern technique of putting us in the killer’s POV, and the mix of 21st century tech and 80s atmosphere is a wonderfully bloody cocktail.

“Just look at Drive, effectively the greatest 80s reboot that wasn’t based on anything from the 80s. It simply nailed the cool vibe and respected films of its kind from three decades ago”

With Fury Road shaping up to be a similar mix of old and new, there is life in the ‘reboot’ concept yet. We’ll always get cynical cash-ins, and we’ll always be showing them to the door, but it’s still worth spotting out those that respect their origins and give them a new spin.

The Courier

UHYLHZVILOP.27

Monday 18 May 2015

‘I know who you are, Peter Quill, and I am not some starry-eyed waif here to succumb to your...pelvic sorcery!.’ - Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Unfriended (15)

WKHFRXULHURQOLQH FR XN ¿ OP F ¿ OP#QFO DF XN _ #&RXULHUB)LOP

film focused on the aftermath of a cyberbullied teen’s suicide would usually invoke an emotional and heart-wrenching response but horror flick, Unfriended, manages to throw fear and intensity into the mix as well. Haunted by the supposed ghost of the suicide victim, the plot follows six friends as they struggle to make it through the night - watching their lies unravel on social media. Despite appearing to be a slightly updated version of Paranormal Activity (yawn) the film actually determines itself as a brilliantly unnerving alternative. With an underlying message concerning cyber-bullying, and hints at sexual assault, it has an added social importance that the former lacks. Don’t let this put you off though; it is far from a political mouthpiece. It doesn’t seem to hold any particular agenda in regards to laws on bullying and rightfully so; it is a film...Though it may help awaken many to the true extent of online torture, which unfortunately does happen. The cast do their best to scream with genuine fear, and for the most part, I believed them. I was gripped by them, pulled into their friendship group and felt I was engaged in the Skype message myself – though unlike them, I had the knowledge that I would safely make it through the 83 minutes. Despite their best attempts, I couldn’t help but shake the feeling that it wasn’t consistently believ-

Mad Max Double Bill (15)

n a world where the asphalt lingers in the air just as much as shrimps on the barbie, out rushes embittered copper, Max Rockatansky, with a V8 supercharged engine and a noxious whiff of pulpy nostalgia. The double-bill of George Miller’s original and iconic Australian speed-epics are a wonderfully retro throwback just before his belated fourth instalment, Fury Road, is released on May 15th. Stripped down to the bare bones of real stunts and razor-sharp editing, neither film is the flawless classic certain fan-boys have made it out to be, but they are both distinctly interesting relics from a time sadly gone by. Miller’s debut feature is laden with pacing problems but brimming with dystopian ideas and a fruity (if forgettable) ensemble. Mel Gibson is thoroughly likeable as the titular pissed-off bloke, even if he isn’t irate as you would expect for the majority of the film. Although the opening and closing car chases are phenomenally constructed slices of intense fun, with the former containing one of the greatest minor villains ever in the form of the Nightrider (he’s a rocker, a roller and an outof-controller, you know?). Yes, Miller’s first film is pure filler, even the kooky cast of biker-baddies fail to convince alongside a bizarre episode where Max goes on a pleasant holiday with his family - but once you’re along for the ride, you really won’t care. Fortunately, the 1982 sequel, The Road Warrior makes up for the sins of the first with jet-fuelled aplomb and a bigger budget to kill for. Max is more rugged, Miller’s petrol-starved world is living and breathing, and the action sequences are on a borderline operatic scale. It’s not without its problems, as it’s all very dated 33 years on, but with a ripplingabbed gimp, Lord Humungus, barking ‘WHAT A PUNY PLAN’, there’s little to dislike. Being the kickstarters of a slew of petrolhead midnight movies and the starting gun for Mel Gibson’s tumultuous career, the Mad Max doublebill is an uneven but, yes, very mad experience indeed. More like this: Crank (2006) Simon Ramshaw

able. Unfriended won’t be winning Oscars anytime soon and it reminded me of those low-budget horror films where the plot is fairly good but the cast are below average in acting ability. The found-footage sub-genre of horror films have redefined the genre in the last few years, though The Blair Witch Project did it first, Unfriended takes things further. The audience are not just outsiders, watching the supposed found recordings of characters whom we can assume are already dead right from the get-go. Instead the slick computer screen design, forces you to engage with the teens and for the majority of the film, I did genuinely forget that I wasn’t actually a part of the Skype video chats. The audience is sat behind the computer screen of the central character, Blaire Lily (Shelley Hennig), as she navigates us through social media, a search engine and a music player. Her computer is our portal into the story and even the familiar sounds

Age of Adaline (PG 13)

of message alerts deceive us into feeling integrated with the drama. The alerts fuel the intensity as we try to uncover the truth behind the mysterious Skype user tormenting the teens, and us. Overall, it’s a decent attempt to modernise the horror genre and considering the calibre of recent horrors (Paranormal Activity 7, anyone?), I would say it’s a cut above the majority. The acting may be sub-par but I would be lying if I said I didn’t forget it was a film at times, because I honestly did feel involved in the drama. The social and cultural criticisms underlying the film are greatly needed to remind society bullying has serious consequences, and because of this, I applaud all those involved. More like this: Carrie (2002) Joel Leaver

Spooks: The Greater Good (15)

ge of Adaline is a romantic epic which interweaves supernatural elements and, rather bizarrely, astronomy. With a running time of 113 minutes it tries its best to explain itself, but it leaves the viewer a little short changed as it takes on too much and ends up over-stretching itself in its quest for greatness. The film follows the life of Adaline Bowman (Blake Lively) who miraculously and mysteriously stops ageing after a lightening incident when she was 29 years old. 107 years on from her birth in 1908 Adaline is still plodding on, although she has a new identity. She fears commitment due to her condition and is initially withdrawn from Ellis Jones (Michiel Huisman). However, when she meets his father, William Jones (Harrison Ford), her secret is put in jeopardy. Blake Lively gives a solid performance as Adaline, capturing wisdom and maturity well. She also portrays her ever-changing emotions and tough predicaments wonderfully. Michiel Huisman also gives a good performance, however he plays a very similar role to his Game of Thrones character, Daario Naharis, so it does not really break new ground for him. A major fault of this film is the fact that it takes on way too much. Certain sequences are bashed up against one another even though they are completely incompatible. In addition, it seems that Adaline has brought her 1908 values with her. Ellis virtually blackmails her into going on a date with him, announces in front of everyone that “the lady has been conquered” then gets her address from the library and pretty much stalks her. Although it is not all bad for this film. Its pacing is pretty much spot on and the costume department is very impressive with all of the different period outfits. Moreover, the story shows genuine promise, it just takes on too much. This results in a confused film trying to be modern, but stuffed with values from the past.

ans of the brilliant showcase British drama, Spooks were gutted when the show wasn’t renewed for an 11th season. But a decade of the high-octane, tension-fuelled, and occasionally heart-wrenching series couldn’t just come to a close, so when the Spooks movie was announced, it seemed like a natural progression to take the gripping story-lines and give the writers and producers a bigger budget to play around with. The story follows Sir Harry Pearce and his unwilling loose cannon of a protégé, Will Holloway, played by the stellar Kit Harington as they track down a deadly terrorist, Qasim (played by Elyes Gabel) in the hope of finding a traitor at the heart of MI5. “You can do good, or you can do well. Sooner or later, they make you choose.” Will Holloway is an embittered ex-MI5 officer looking for some answers and Kit Harington is perfectly cast as the brooding, reluctant hero (ringing any bells, guys?). Anyone new to the Spooks universe can slip into it with ease – Spooks: The Greater Good hints at the back stories that spanned 10 series, but doesn’t wallow in the past. Key characters are shed, but Kit Harington’s character breathes new life into what could easily have been a tired spin-off. Peter Firth’s performance as a weary and battle-worn Sir Harry Pearce is a captivating one and brings character and weight to a storyline that could otherwise devolve into the fantastical. Supporting performances from Jennifer Ehle and Tim McInnerny seem a little weak in comparison. The absence of original writer David Wolstencroft is keenly felt in the script – there’s none of the tongue-in-cheek workplace humour that gave the TV series its charm and believability, but the plot itself is full of twists and turns, and the final few scenes are brilliantly crafted. All in all, the film is an enjoyable one and if you’re a fan of the original show, it’s the right kind of sentimental.

More like this: Winter’s Tale (2014) Emma Allsopp

More like this: The Bourne Identity (2002) Iqra Choudhry

7KHVH )XFNHUV 0XVW 'LH

.J Abrams teased that we might see a cheeky Jar Jar corpse in the new Star Wars, flushed with new hope we wonder...Who else in any popular film franchise would we like to see walk the plank?

Peetarse

he movie incarnation of Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games) makes for the most excruciatingly annoying character in any film made since Dakota Fanning’s portrayal of the whiny mess of a child in that god-awful ‘War of the Worlds’ remake. In a film about a FIGHTING EACH OTHER TO THE DEATH, his sheer blandness is portrayed in that the most bad-ass thing he seems to do is decorating his face via icing methods he learned in a freakin’ BAKERY, all so he can go and bleed out in peace whilst camouflaged on a riverbank. Somehow this makes Jennifer Lawrence fancy him more than she fancies Liam Hemsworth, Brother of Thor. Outrageous. How can Katniss ever hope to overthrow a merciless dictatorship when she has a huge square beige lump clinging to her bow arm? He needs to go. Preferred method of death: Sarlaac Pit.

Frodon’t

rodo Baggins, the feinting farce who wields the most powerful object in all of Middle Earth. What a turd-burger. Okay, so I do realise that his struggles are one of moral character as the ring slowly corrupts his soul in a desperate attempt to get back to Sauron. But really Frodo, kicking Sam out of your tree-house because you think he stole some of the munch? Also can you not SHARE every once in a while, perhaps then you wouldn’t be so utterly corrupted by the ring that by the time it comes to dumping it over the arse-crack of doom you just think #yolo and let it be. Frodo, the only hobbit with the biggest case of only child syndrome anyone has ever had the great misfortune to meet. That’s not what best friends do. To be honest Sam needs a bit of a kick in the groin himself, instead of storming off and making new friends he carries Frodo up a bloody mountain. Preferred method of death: Pinch his stupid necklace and left him to melt in lava - Anakin style.

Captain Capitalism

uring every single Marvel movie I’ve been praying to every single deity under the sun for Cap to exit stage like a hero and never to return. He’s always been my least favourite of the gang and his character arcs are always a dreadful bore, as we saw from The Winter Soldier aka the biggest failure Marvel has produced to date. I’m convinced that he deserves a heroic end, it doesn’t even have to be death, I just don’t want to see his spandex-licious buttocks in yet another part of the franchise. Preferred method of death: Retirement. David Leighton, Conor Jude Dowling, & Tony Velikova

28.tvfeatures

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

TV Editors: Helen Daly and Ellie McLaren Online TV Editor: Rebecca Dooley

Land of trope and glory

Big boxset binge 8VH RXU KDQG\ À RZFKDUW WR VHH ZKDW \RX VKRXOG ZDWFK DIWHU KDQG LQV

Start here:

Tria Lawrence

iven that this week is the last edition of the year, and this article is the last I will ever write for the Courier, I thought it would be appropriate to have a look at the Grand Finale. Grand Finale’s are (generally) the final episode of a TV programme coming to its natural end, as opposed to an ending via cancellation. They tie up loose ends, allude to (or show) the future of the characters, and always seem to make you cry. So, here are the greatest Grand Finales on TV (that I or my flatmates have seen). First up is Life of Mars and Ashes to Ashes. Life on Mars ends with Sam finally waking up from his coma in the present, leaving his colleagues (and love interest) behind in a life or death shoot out on a train. Realising that the present no longer feels real to him, Sam runs off a tall building to drive off into the sunset in the 70s. The Grand Finale of Ashes to Ashes pulls this ending into perspective, revealing that the past is a purgatory for police officers created by Gene Hunt. Each character is forced to come to terms with their own deaths so they can finally move on, leaving Gene behind to help the new cohort of dead officers on to the afterlife. It’s a Tear Jerking end that finally explains the questions we had all been asking since Sam Tyler first fell into a coma. I will have to admit here that I have not watched Breaking Bad (so I’m depending on Wikipedia right now), but I know from my friends that it truly was one of the greatest Grand Finales to air. Walt manages to finally achieve his original aim and makes enough money for his children. But along the way he also manages to free Skyler and Jesse and have his vengeance, all before dying on his own terms, rather than those of his cancer. Although he might have been a horrible human being, Walter White had a damn satisfying ending to his life.

“I hope we all have endings like Parks and Rec. But given the marijuana farm found on my road this year, I wouldn’t be surprised if some chemistry student decides on a different route.”

However the greatest Grand Finale of all time has to be Parks and Recreation. This is one of the few things to ever air of a screen that I will call a masterpiece. Leslie takes her friends, all of whom have moved on to bigger and better things, back to their roots and reminds us of the show’s humble beginnings by fixing a park swing. Each time she interacts with someone we get to see flash forwards of their lives. They all have struggles, like April’s ambivalence over having children and Tom losing his business, but all of them end up with the happy and successful lives they deserve. But the best bit is the subtle way they managed to Book End the series – the respectable man in a suit who asks for the swing to be fixed is the drunk Leslie pushed out of a park slide with a broom in the pilot. Speaking for all of us final year students, I hope we all have endings like Parks and Rec. But given the marijuana farm found on my road this year, I wouldn’t be surprised if some chemistry student decides on a different route.

How hard were your exams?

So hard, that I want to cry.

What’s more important to you: drama or comedy?

Alien levels Meh.

Ooh I love a bit of drama, me

Top bants, always.

How much escapism do you need?

How do you like your characters: developed or stereotyped?

Were Ross and Rachel on a break? Yes

All-nighters in the Robbo left me well prepared

Keep it real like Ian Beale

Keep ‘em plain

Period drama or sci-fi cracker?

I wanna see some progression man

Aliens: yay or nay?

What’s your hangover cure: a greasy burger or steaming coffee?

Beam me up, Scotty

Period. Period.

Brain or brawn?

Can you not

Bring on the aliens Bring on the meat

I’ll have a cwofee

Bob’s Burgers Sure, it might be yet another animated sitcom about a dysfunctional family, but unlike other FOX products, it’s refreshingly inoffensive, uncomplicated, and actually just plain hilarious and clever. In fact, it’s probably the most quotable show on the planet right now, and with four seasons on Netflix and a fifth series on TV right now, you don’t want to be missing out on the show’s amazing musical numbers and amazing, often obscure cultural references. Emily Thompson

Friends

You’ve done your exams, you need some light-relief; who else are you going to spend your time with but your closest friends? No, I’m not talking about your coursemates, it’s time to catch up with Ross, Rachel and the rest of the gang. They’re always there for you and no matter how bad that exam went, you can always rely on Chandler to provide the laughs. So sit up, take a trip to Central Perk and enjoy spending time with your best friends. Helen Daly

Only IQs over 180, please

Doctor Who

So you’ve finished your degree and now it’s time for an education in Science Fiction. The exams were a bit of a nightmare, but you’re over it now, because you’re too busy travelling the world with your alien mate. Fighting monsters is nothing compared to tackling that dissertation; you can do anything so it’s time to get out there and explore some alien worlds. Grab your fez, your sonic screwdriver and prepare for the trip of a lifetime. Helen Daly

Gimme the hunks

Rome

Rome charts the years which turned a Republic into an Empire. Familiar figures such as Caesar and Marc Antony are joined by Vorenus, a centurion who is a witness to history in the making. Rome will appeal to Game of Thrones fans, as there are no good or bad characters, only those who survive. House of Cards fans will find the political machinations equally fascinating as lines blur between the personal and political. Lauren Hickin

The Courier

highlightstv.29

Monday 18 May 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

TV Rewind Jack Parker

Eurovision Semi Finals BBC3, Starting Tuesday, 9pm

t’s that time of year again. Europe will come together once again for the wonderful, bizarre and hilariously entertaining evening that is Eurovision. This year’s contest will be held in Vienna, following Conchita Wurst’s massive win in 2014; Conchita will be helping to host the event, this year so expect the usual weird Eurojokes and a lot of awkward standing around while everything gets repeated in French. The language barrier can actually be part of the fun – especially if you watch with subtitles to translate. Whether these songs really include such gems as “it becomes untrue because of my shoes” and “I move with ease in my convertible breeze” because

the writers thought it sounded good, or whether something got lost in translation, we shall never know. Maybe other countries don’t take it any more seriously than we do after all. Scott Mills and Mel Giedroyc guide us through the two semi-finals, which serve as a warm-up for Saturday’s main event. Luckily, given the UK’s woeful performance in recent years, we buy our way into the final by helping to finance Eurovision, so we don’t have to worry about qualifying. Eurovision is nothing if not bizarre. Every year entries try to outdo each other with increasingly outlandish lyrics, costumes, dancing and staging – ice-rinks, giant hamster wheels and trampolines have all made an appearance in recent years. And it’s not just Euro-pop – country, heavy metal and a LOT of ballads have found Eurovision success. Song subjects range from moustaches and Facebook to love and world peace. The environment

American Dad!

Nashville

Fox (UK), Thursday, 10pm

ast November we saw American Dad! get picked up for a new season by American broadcaster TBS, even with surprisingly lacklustre ratings – the first episode of season twelve claimed a viewership 75% smaller than the previous series! Regardless, it’s a safe bet, as you can be pretty sure that if any production team knows how to make people laugh, it’s the men and women behind the legendary Family Guy. Season 12 saw the Smith family up to their usual dysfunctional hijinks, Hayley changing her hair colour to attract more attention to her cause in Blonde Ambition, and everyone’s favourite crimesolving duo ‘Wheels and The Legman’ returning in Manhattan Magical Murder Mystery Tour. My personal favourite was The Shrink, in which Stan witnesses a couple die in a car accident, and goes to see a therapist. I can feel your judgment, but trust me, it’s extremely funny in this context. As far as we know the whole voice cast will be returning for the thirteenth season: Scott Grimes as Stan, Wendy Schaal as Francine, and the big man himself Seth MacFarlane as Roger the narcissistic alien, currently under a contract with Fox for a cool $100 million. The show has historically struggled with viewing figures and has steadily declined throughout its ten year run, even with its exceptional cast, so it would perhaps be optimistic to suppose that ratings will increase this time around. That said, there’s everything to play for at this point and I look forward to another helping of hilarious misadventures from the Smith crew. Ollie Burton

E4, Wednesday, 10pm

ith an exciting blend of smooth tunes, familiar faces and a stunning setting at the heart of country music, it is no surprise that More4’s Nashville is back. Moved to E4, Season 3 of the US hit musical-drama has been highly anticipated by UK fans on the blogosphere, and now it’s finally back. The concept of watching fictional country singers’ lives may sound dull, but it’s far from it. There’s so much drama that it can easily compete with various other US dramas out there. The main premise is the rivalry between Rayna James, a legend, and Juliette Barnes, a current star – imagine watching Dolly Parton battle it out against Taylor Swift, doesn’t that sound fun? As a fan of musicals, and with a dad enthusiastic about country music, I personally love the show’s soundtrack. There’s a mix of traditional sounding country tunes, but also some for those more inclined to pop music, and both are equally as good. The cast’s vocals are no rival for the likes of Glee or Smash, that’s for sure, but there’s something about the country tunes which don’t need the belts of Broadway-esque vocalists. Nashville’s soundtrack has emotion and heart, and those are just as powerful. Season 3 promises to be the most dramatic yet, with a ‘who’s the baby daddy?’ storyline on the horizon. No doubt there’ll be constant ship drama to break fan’s hearts, as well as more catchy tunes. The show may not seem like your cup of tea, but if you like musical dramas, then give it a watch – Glee’s gone now, but maybe Nashville can help fill the void. Joel Leaver

and European unity are common themes, highlighting that Eurovision is about more than just gimmicky songs – it started in 1956, when Europe was divided and devastated by World War Two. The UK’s entry this year is Electro Velvet, whose catchy “electro swing” (it’s a thing) song, ‘Still in Love with You’ offers something a bit different. Whether Europe will appreciate electro swing remains to be seen, but it can hardly do much worse than most of our recent entries. The BBC chose for us, having decided that we couldn’t be trusted to select our own entry. Given that the UK has come last three times since 2003, maybe this was a wise choice. Austria hasn’t hosted Eurovision since 1967. That year, Sandie Shaw gave the UK our first Eurovision victory with ‘Puppet on a String’. An auspicious sign? Mark Sleightholm

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell BBC, Monday, 4.30pm

his week sees the premiere of the longawaited BBC adaptation of Suzanna Clarke’s critically acclaimed novel, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell. Mr Gilbert Norrell lives in a Gothic manor in the depths of Yorkshire with only mysterious servant Childermass for company. He also happens to be the leading practicing magician in England and has been gathering a vast collection of spellbooks throughout his life in the hope of making magic a force in the realm once again. Enter Jonathan Strange. He is lazy and a drunk, something his childhood sweetheart Arabella ain’t too happy about. Strange sets out to sort his life out, meeting a man under a hedge (as you do) who gives him a few spells and prophesises he will one day be a great magician. Hearing of Norrell, Strange heads out to find and work alongside him. While Norrell is serious and reclusive, Strange is carefree and soon finds himself a hero of the Napoleonic wars with his fresh and daring magic. Yet, as he starts discovering the hidden magic from the past, Strange becomes more and more dangerous, ultimately sowing the seeds to his own tragedy. Set during the Industrial Revolution, this seven part series is an epic fantasy drama boasting an impressive cast including Eddie Marsan, Bertie Carvel (Norrell and Strange respectively) and Marc Warren (The Gentleman). It’s visually amazing from the Gothic Georgian costumes to the bizarre magical effects; as director Toby Haynes describes it, ‘it’s Amadeus meets Lord of the Rings’. Judging by the trailer, it should be pretty awesome. Who needs Poldark? Chloe Carroll

or my final ever TV Rewind of the 2014/15 academic year (I know, it’s sad that it’s coming to an end already, console yourself dear reader) I’ve gone back a bit. It’s 1999, and almost every major internationally successful pop group is British: the Spice Girls were spreading girl power around the world, Take That were breaking hearts, and Steps were being a bit rubbish. However, there was one group that was manufactured to be different; they were S Club 7, a bloody massive mega group. Not only did they release records, tour, sell merchandise, the usual pop group stuff - they also took to the small screen with their own TV series. Simon Fuller, the man who managed the Spice Girls, probably thought to himself that the best way to sell more records was to put his budding stars into a regular, half hour infomercial, sorry, TV show. It followed the gang around different parts of the USA on their fictitious quest to ‘break’ America. Quite why so many artists want to hurt America is beyond me, I’m sure it has feelings too. Of course, they were performers, not actors, so their acting skills were not great, they came across as a bit wooden at times, but who cared?

“They were young, we were young, it was the nineties [...] I seem to have become sentimental in my old age, but it was really a great time to be growing up”

Anyway, I’ve been a bit of a cynic, not like me (ha). I liked S Club 7, like so many children of the nineties, and MAYBE the show wasn’t that much of a sell-sell-sell sort of thing. Rachel didn’t turn to camera holding a copy of S Club whilst professing how great of an album it was, and Simon Fuller didn’t have a part in the show, and so couldn’t manipulate and corrupt our young minds too much. Anyway, this was a show made by the BBC, any chance of advertising or sponsorship would have been almost impossible to get away with. Like any good boy/girl group, six out of the seven had their own special personalities, charm and characters within the show. For example, Jo was the headstrong and feisty leader of the group, Rachel was the sexy one and Bradley was the fun and rebellious one. There was also Hannah, who probably was just S Club 7’s version of Baby Spice, but the one who had no personality at all, was the weak and watery Jon Lee. He was the wimpy one, and was always my least favourite ‘character’, most likely because he had no character at all. The show was fun, they were young, we were young, it was the nineties, it was all about seven friends messing around and enjoying life. I seem to have become sentimental in my old age, but it was really a great time to be growing up, and shows like this proved it. Miami 7 and LA 7 were only a part of the S Club empire of the late 90s/early 00s, but they certainly were very memorable and special shows to a younger, and slightly more impressionable me.

30.music

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Music Editors: ditors: Jamie Jamie mie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison mie

Top 5

EUROPEAN Festivals Iqra Choudhry picks her favourite festivals in Europe to prepare you for the holiday season Download (UK) Download Festival sees in festival season across the globe as one of the earliest weekend festivals of legendary repute. In the heart of Derbyshire, Donington Park annually welcomes hundreds of bands across its stages, and punters from all over the world; before Download, the site had been the home of festivals like Ozzfest and Monsters of Rock – it is holy ground for those in the alternative world. This year, the line-up is as diverse as ever, with bands like Kiss, Muse and Slipknot headlining, and everyone from Andrew W.K to We Are Harlot playing on the 2nd weekend of June (12th14th).

Hellfest (France) Set in Clisson, Hellfest is France’s answer to Download Festival, and as it’s celebrating its 10th birthday this year, it’s only fitting that the line-up for Hellfest 2015 is suitably spectacular. Boasting a varied mix of acts from across the alternative spectrum, Hellfest 2015 will, for a weekend, be home to legendary metal bands such as Slipknot, Faith No More and Meshuggah. The festival is also playing host to a number of punk heavyweights such as the politically charged Rise Against and nods to prog-rock fans with appearances from the likes of Mastodon. The festival takes place on the weekend of the summer solstice (19th-21nd June).

Graspop(Belgium) The only festival that could give the Gallic celebrations at Hellfest a run for their money on the same weekend (19th-21st June) is Graspop Metal Meeting in Dessel, Belgium. The festival line-up boasts Kiss and Slipknot (yep, Slipknot sure are playing a lot of festivals this summer!), whilst also welcoming to the stage acts like Motorhead, Alice Cooper, Body Count and Lamb of God. This is a festival that doesn’t aim for variety outside of the heavy genres, but plays host to the kind of line-up that would be any metal fan’s wet dream.

Tomorrowland(Belgium) The only way to see out the festival season is with a bang. Or several. Belgium’s Tomorrowland festival is the world’s largest annual electronic music festival. Taking place during the last weekend of July (24th-26th) in the aptly named town of Boom, the three day festival this year is welcoming to their epic stages the likes of Steve Aoki, Avicii and David ‘more-chart-hits-than-you’ve-had-hot-dinners’ Guetta. The festival is so popular that it’s spawned another Tomorrowland festival in Brazil, and a TomorrowWorld event in Atlanta, over in the states.

Pukkelpop(Belgium) When festival season is in full swing, no weekendspanning event can boast a line up quite as eclectic as Pukkelpop’s. Belgium’s premier outdoor festival brings together the best of mainstream, metal, punk, prog and indie in an explosive lineup, ensuring that the festival sells out in record time every year. From All Time Low to Enter Shikari to Tame Impala, from Bastille to Rudimental to Underworld, during the third weekend of August (20th22nd), Hasselt Keiwit in Belgium is the ONLY place to be.

From the cradle to the rave $ UHFHQW VWXG\ FODLPV WKDW KLS KRS KDV LQÀ XHQFHG SRS PXVLF PRUH WKDQ WKH %HDWOHV and the Rolling Stones. True, says Tom Nicholson - but what about dance culture?

o last week a study by the University of London and Imperial College was released which suggested that hip hop and R&B were now more influential on contemporary pop than 60s luminaries and BBC4 music documentary-dwellers like the Beatles, the Stones and the Who. Paul Gambaccini probably fainted. Anyone who’s had any contact with the top 40 in the last fifteen years shrugged. The point that R&B and hip hop tropes have overtaken the standard four-lads-to-shake-theworld-with-powerchords-and-floppy-hair template isn’t wildly surprising; it’s that the other seminal point the eggheads picked out as having particularly long, grasping tentacles reaching into today’s charts was the new wave and electropop boom of around 1983. I mean, I love electropop and new wave, but... Maybe it has something to do with the method: researchers fed 30-second snippets of about 17,000 songs from the Billboard Hot 100 (that’s the US chart, fact fans) between 1960 and 2010 into a big computer like the one from Joe 90 and waited for it to belch out a response. I have to say, picking out America as your cultural petri dish to test gives a fairly wonky view of where pop gets its ideas from, and towards which pole it decides to propel itself. Americans have loads of pop which makes absolutely no sense to anyone else: look at Garth Brooks, for heaven’s sake. He couldn’t get arrested over here if he did bollock-naked handsprings down Kensington High Street. Say ‘Garth Brooks’ to most people and they’ll assume you mean the former Spurs and Stoke City forward known for popping up on Football Focus looking startled or asking gnomic, meaningless questions to increasingly exasperated mid-table managers. And yet Garth Brooks drew a crowd of 750,000 to a gig in Central Park in 1997.

Likewise, despite the US being the cradle of dance as we’d recognise it today - mostly built around rhythm and texture rather than melody and lyrics, and building its own internal dynamics of build-up and release, breakdown and climax - rave culture as we know it barely made a dent. By the time a really huge, clandestine outdoor party had happened in America (Rave America, wherein 17,000 people descended on an abandoned amusement park) it was 1993. By 1993, we’d already had rave parodies like Urban Hype’s ‘Trip to Trumpton’ and a frankly disorientatingly bad cover of ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ by Candy Flip. Rave and dance culture was an old joke, a cultural trope trotted out by middle-of-the-road comedians to show how whacky the kids these days are. Fundamentally, this shows that there’s a huge gap between what those in the know - the producers, the writers, the pop stars themselves - are listening to, and what the public are buying, particularly in pre-Internet America. This study doesn’t capture the deep, pervasive way in which dance music has set the agenda from about 1978 onwards. How do most people our age consume music now? They go on YouTube and Spotify or Tidal (HAHAHA jk), yes, but they also go to massive indoor and outdoor events to see big DJs. The festival boom can, I think, be traced to the birth of rave culture, even if it’s now a sanitised version of the old get-off-yourtits-tell-a-stranger-you-want-to-move-in-withthem formula. Trying to boil down pop to a series of moments can be useful if you’re talking about significant singles landing, but trying to describe long, slow shifts in pop dynamics in the same terms is a faulty concept to begin with. Dance music has driven a lot of innovations in pop since the mid-80s, and to see it passed over in this analysis is bollocks, frankly. Never trust a robot to pick decent records.

Woah, we’re not going to Ibiza Music Editor Jamie Shepherd explores the changing face of clubbing holidays, and whether Ibiza has had its day

las, the summer holidays are upon us. A simpler time when we can disengage our brains from lofty academia and drop out at the plethora of summer festivals gracing our fair isles. If, like me however, you crave purer shores and slightly more exotic locales than Bramham Park but don’t have the budget for a Full Moon Party in Koh Phangan or a beach rave in Goa then you need to get yourself on Skyscanner and look for the cheapest budget flight to the best European party destinations that Stelios and co’ll fly you to. Long holding the crown as the premier European party destination has been Ibiza but like many great things the glory has faded. Ibiza has become a parody of itself, where idiots from provincial towns in the UK mingle with other morons from Northern Europe, and indulge in gratuitous sex, overpriced drugs, and EDM. There was a time however when Ibiza wasn’t the bastion of long-haired Gallic lunatic David Guetta but was actually a hub of creative energy. In the 1960s the hippy movement flourished there as resistance to the conservative Francoist government that essentially stifled youth culture in Spain until the death of the Generalissimo and the rise of the countercultural energy of La Movida. This paved the way for the first superclubs of the 1970s in the form of Pacha, Amnesia and its ilk which drew the jet-set weirdos, non-conformists, and alternative types to the island before the rise of imported Chicago house commercialised the island’s club scene. While the rise of electronica did indeed cement Ibiza’s reputation as an innovator in the 1980s, look no further than Ibiza’s influence on the acid house scene, package holidays rendered Ibiza an obsolete blip on the outsider party map of Europe by the beginning of the 1990s. If you want something truly subversive that is just on the cusp of exploding, you’d be best off going to a Croatian music festival.

The first Croatian music festival that came to my attention was Outlook. It started in 2008 and was created by the people behind Leeds institution SubDub. It’s the sort of festival that attendees of the regular Lively Up parties at World Headquarters would dig, and was recently followed by the more houseand techno-inspired Dimensions festival which features George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic as headliners. Both are held in the Punta Christo amphitheatre, a few miles from the industrial city of Pula and many budget airlines fly there. The lineups at these festivals are generally pretty low key, albeit well curated, and offer a chance to catch great acts before they blow up. My biggest fear with these festivals is that very soon they’ll end up going the same way as the White Island of the Balearic. I fin-

ished an Interrailing journey in Croatia a few years back and a few people told that, couldn’t process the fact that I didn’t go to a festival but instead cabbaged on a beach after a month living out of a rucksack. For them, Croatia is a by-word for getting fucked in the same way that the word Ibiza has its own separate connotations. People forget that Ibiza is not just a strip with a few bars but and island around 220 square miles. In this way, we are in danger of thinking of Croatia not as a country of 4.28 million people, but actually the next party mecca. When this happens, this is the day when the David Guetta’s of the future will lay their h a t there.

The Courier

music.31

Monday 18 May 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk Â | Â @courier_music courier_music Â

Wilder Mind

Electronic Â Blanket

Mumford and Sons

,Q KLV Âż QDO FROXPQ RXU GHGLFDWHG HOHFWURQLF FROXPQLVW Â Max Â Palmer-Â Geaves Â ORRNV DW WKH FKDQJLQJ IDFH RI 1HZFDVWOHÂśV FOXE VFHQH VKDUHV RQH RI KLV IDYRXULWH DUWLVW DQG SUHSDUHV XV IRU ÂłSURSHU KRXVH PXVLFÂ´

am no music aficionado. I judge music by the change, especially with â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Hot Gatesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. If you liked the way I move to it and how it moves me, emo- last two albums, chances are youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll like this one. tionally speaking. Mumford & Sonsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; output Hey, if it ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t broke, and all that: itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s good, just not has always been â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;swayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; music; as in, you know phenomenal anymore. It didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t change my life. My swaying your arms, hips, and body. Not neces- attention kept drifting away from it, occasionally sarily all at the same time, but hopefully you get coming back to like a chorus, riff or line now and the gist. They give you this serious yet relaxed then but ultimately I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t riveted. Not like when I rhythm, then youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re hit with the excitable happy- first heard them and was blown away. Though, that go-lucky melody that has you up and dancing. is a giant thing to ask from a band, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s them and Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the band I know from the last two albums. their style, why should they change? People like it. I was expecting some experimentation and for I just them as in a comfortable situation of acceptthem to change it up a bit but was ance, no need to rock the boat when â&#x20AC;&#x153;My attention kept fame will carry you through. Mumunsure of how theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d go about it. Wilder Mind has kept the bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s drifting away from it, ford & Sons were new and different; rhythmic, lyrical, and mood sig- occasionally coming now theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve settled into a comfortnatures, but theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve revamped able rut with slight innovations. instrumentally. Goodbye, belov- back to like a chorus, I think theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve lost some of their ed banjo. I properly missed you riff or line now and spirit, drive, zeal, whatever you want in this album. The folk feel has then but ultimately I to call it. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve coined an amazmoved towards Rock. Electric guiing sound and have essentially stuck wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t rivetedâ&#x20AC;? tars replacing acoustics and basiwith it minus their step towards cally theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve changed the instruments to fit with a rock and what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d call â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;big stageâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; instruments. Maymassive arena and big stages. So the rather unique be Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d suggest that they are assured that they will way about them has evolved into a rather generic fill an arena and so should have the instruments rock genre, particularly with â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Wolf â&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Their style to handle such a venue? But generally the album is shaken up and yet familiar to us, as basically eve- is good, it just lacks the depth I like in an album. rything else has stayed the same. It kind of works The best example of this is â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Tompkins Square Parkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; for me as Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a massive rock fan and will take any where itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s definitely fun and enjoyable, but â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Oh, amount of well-played electric guitar. Listening to Babeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; becomes trite after a while. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Believeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, the riff hits you and takes you by surprise; my problem, I wanted the best feeling that they you have to get used to Marcus Mumfordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s voice could give me and it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fulfil my estimation of with the blazing guitar. The sentimental side of me their ability. I got vanilla instead of chocolate â&#x20AC;&#x201C; nice misses the folksy twang of the banjo. enough and enjoyable but not quite what I had my Despite the instrumental change and genre shift, mouth ready for. they are still very much themselves, no massive Emily Watton

The Swansong

More Â than Â this Coldplay - Viva La Vida or Death and all his Friends A comparison to Coldplay has to be made seeing that Mumford and Sons have now become that band that everybody and their mum seems to love. Like Coldplay, the folky minstrels started off on the alternative circuit but exploded massively with their sound following suit on this 2008 release. Snow Patrol - Final Straw Sharing the same blend of folky, minstrelesque and world-weary vocals juxtaposed with blaring and arresting guitars, Snow Patrols debut album is an excellent precursor to Mumford and Sonsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; latest offering. In 2004, Gary Lightbody gave rise to the sensitive alternative rocker type that Marcus Mumford has evolved in to today.

Pale Honey

California Nights

Why Make Sense?

Pale Honey

Best Coast

Hot Chip

e have seen the power of the duo piercing the ranks of rock stardom: Royal Blood, Slaves, and Honeyblood in recent years, and Black Keys and White Stripes both pioneers in that post-punk, garage rock thing they have going on. The common denominator in these duos is the cut-the-crap approach to song writing. Some call it minimalist, others call it stripped-back cacophonies of liquid shit; it is a very acquired taste. Swedish band Pale Honey, made up of Tuva Lodmark (vocals + guitar) and Nelly Daltrey (drums), join the echelons of the daring duos. The band have played together since elementary school. In 2014 Pale Honey finally released their debut EP Fiction, and even more recently, an eponymous album - both released via Swedish indie label Bolero Recordings. The bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most popular track, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Youthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, is adored by BBC 6 Musicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very own Lauren Laverne and topped GAFFA Swedenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s student radio top 20. The acclaimed track opens with a heavily synthesised guitar line and Lodmark delectably remarking â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Why stick around when I feel in my youth?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; The pulsating hook of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Teaseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; heaves a scuzzy synth, dissonant guitar and rapacious percussion, sounding like a sample from a drum and bass track. This is a stand-out track. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Sleepâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; puts the album to rest - a honeyed lullaby, singing the intimacies of the bedroom, and ending with a killer, ethereal dream-pop guitar solo. Usually duos are reliant on catchy riffs. Pale Honeyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s riffs and melodies may seem damp initially, but the momentum and density around them will soak through any sloppy doubt. It isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just another collection of grumbling guitars and pacifying percussion; there is more substance in the work of Lodmark and Daltrey. Connor McDonnell

etting a sultry tone with its title California Nights, Best Coastâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s third album brings back the positive vibes on opener â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Feeling Okâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, which is a breath of fresh coastal air following average 2012 release The Only Place. Album number two did still feature glisteningly catchy Pop choruses but was criticised for abandoning the hazy production of the duoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s debut. It could still be said that the band are â&#x20AC;&#x153;Taylor Swift for stonersâ&#x20AC;?, but at least theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve turned the reverb and distortion back up to 10. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;In My Eyesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; screams â&#x20AC;&#x153;Californiaâ&#x20AC;? louder than a gaggle of blondes in denim shorts and flower crowns at Coachella, with its depiction of chilled LA life in the lyric, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I sit around, I watch TV, you ignore meâ&#x20AC;?. Bethany whines â&#x20AC;&#x153;The weight of the world crashes down on my shouldersâ&#x20AC;? after the melancholic Surf rock intro to â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;When Will I Changeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, and a wave of emotion hits the album with the chorusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bold admission: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have no reason to be sad, but I find a way almost every dayâ&#x20AC;?. This album isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t as chilled and straightforward as you would expect California Nights by the poolside to be. On â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Fine Without Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, the pining teen who narrated hit single â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Boyfriendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; seems to have grown into a mature 28 year old who urges herself to stop â&#x20AC;&#x153;chasing after himâ&#x20AC;?. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Jealousyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; of better girls still haunts her as she confusedly asks this mystery man, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you like me?â&#x20AC;? before descending into a quintessentially American â&#x20AC;&#x153;sha-la-la-laâ&#x20AC;?. After all this lyrical analysis, Bethanyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inner turmoil is ultimately summed up on the title track as she confesses, â&#x20AC;&#x153;California nights make me feel so happy I could die, but I try to stay aliveâ&#x20AC;?. She certainly still retains the teen spirit found on debut Crazy For You, and sonically itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s great that the 2 albums arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t oceansâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; apart. Sophie Ahmed

ot Chipâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sixth LP Why Make Sense? sees the band stick to the formula that has made them one of the UKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best established pop acts. Colourful and bouncy synths, guitars and rhythms combine with an emphasis on hooks, dance beats and enticing grooves. Though not a departure from Hot Chipâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s trademark sound, Why Make Sense? is an aesthetically varied album; R&B slow-jams sit comfortably alongside house influenced dance-pop, disco, synth and electronica numbers. The title track is an instantly familiar, yet instantly abrasive mix of tender, simplistic vocals, crashing breakbeat percussion and chiptune video game bleeps. It hits the sweet spot between the earnest electro the band are known for and a brutal, maximalist mission statement. Lead single â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Huarache Lightsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, on the other hand, is a throwback jam thoroughly in the vein of their last record, 2012â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s excellent In Our Heads. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the best house-indebted, robo-funk ode to a pair of trainers youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re likely to hear in this or any year. Late-album cool-down â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Need You Nowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is another track reminiscent of their earlier work, hitting a similar note to their breakout single â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Boy From Schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, only with a bit of Jamie XX thrown in there to whet your appetite for his upcoming debut In Colour. For any foodies out there, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also a song called â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;White Wine and Fried Chickenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, which is good. The songwriting is simple but effective; the band eschews complexity in favour of an overriding sense of fun. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s innocent, heartfelt music that is sweet and uplifting. The endearingly wonky pophouse stylings theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve made their own are present and correct, but with the harder funk percussion of In Our Heads and their live show thrown in. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a combination which, funnily enough, makes perfect sense. Trent Maxwell

This is the last column in this series of my slightly gruff bleary-eyed ramblings on where you should go to have a nice time and what you should listen to afterwards when you feel a bit ill and decide itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best to spend your afternoon enveloped by a beanbag sipping Darjeeling and contemplating soup. My passing on into the wider world leaves a pair of well-worn Redwings to fill and I have no doubt that next year there will be some equally bearded â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;musician-typeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; trying to tell you how you should live your life. Newcastleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nightlife has changed hugely in the three years Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been staggering around; Cosmic Ballroom is now a common destination for freshers and there has now been more than one Ill Behaviour held in the Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Union, which would have seemed an absurd idea when I was in Ricky Road. To quote Anchorman (who was quoting some old gimmer with a guitar whose name rhymes with Throb Nylon), â&#x20AC;&#x153;the times they are a-changingâ&#x20AC;?, and whether for better or for worse shuffling has worked its way into the hallowed rooms of World Headquarters and there always seem to be more couples called Josh and Sara who â&#x20AC;&#x153;just hopped on the coach from Durhamâ&#x20AC;?. The main thing to remember is that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all just bollocks anyway so you might as well have a good time and try not to be too much of a dick to anyone. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been listening then thank you for your time. You can go and do something else now. Listen to: Action Bronson - â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Easy Riderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Preview: Mark E at SR44 24th May Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth going down simply because this will be the last party at SR44 and Tourist nights are always pretty rad. I think the best way to get to grips with Mark E is to go back to his early edits and give them a listen, a great example being his edit of Womack and Womackâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Baby Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Scared Of Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. The original track is unleashed after six minutes of slow build up as he layers snippets of the classic over each other until it drops at around the six minute mark (excuse the pun), the track was a favourite of Giles Peterson who continually played it out. Mark E is not only a great producer but also a fantastic DJ, he could very easily be described as Birminghamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s finest if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re more into â&#x20AC;&#x153;proper house musicâ&#x20AC;? than sweating yourself to death in front of Hannah Wants. Listen to: Womack and Womack - â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Baby Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Scared of You (Mark E Edit)â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

You Need To Hear This: Affelaye

Seeing as itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my last column I wanted to talk about an artist Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve loved since my friend accidentally found him in first year. Affelaye is from Brighton and apart from a string of singles only has one release; an EP called Maybe There. I reckon Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve listened to it at least once a week since first hearing and downloading it, sometimes hammering individual songs a few times a day. Maybe There features three exquisite productions, the lead single â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Want Meâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; showcases his ability as a producer to write music, which has a totally unique quality and is breathtakingly beautiful. The sound is dreamy and almost watery; the airy productions are held together by infectious beats and chopped R&B style sampled vocals. For me it makes for the perfect soundtrack to pretty much every occasion. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a beauty in the precision of his work, not just in his razor sharp production but also in his aesthetic choices. The video for â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Huesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; perfectly reflects the mood of the track, capturing the same delicacy and ambience. Down-tempo yet up beat, chilled yet groovy. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth a listen and in my opinion it really is a modern day masterpiece. Listen to: Affelaye - â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Huesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Max produces under the name of Hues. You can check him out on Facebook or at soundcloud.com/hues

32.musicfeatures

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Harangue the DJ Everyone fancies themselves as a pretty Andrew Hutchinson and Krippa sick tunesmith, but would you know what Dragnet (disco, soul, house, funk, indie and reggae, Saturdays) to reach for at an underwhelming and Shake (hip hop and R&B, Wednesdays) at The Cut barbecue? Editor Tom Nicholson Which song do you like to open with? K: I have avoided playing ‘Superstition’ by Stevie Krippa: ‘Hot on the Heels of Love’ by Throbbing Wonder for years but I played it recently and it spoke to three of the city’s best DJs to Gristle. sounded incredible. Andrew: I often play ‘Get Down’ by Nas, it’s got A: Definitely ‘This Charming Man’ by The Smiths. ¿ QG RXW WKHLU FRQWH[W VSHFL¿ F MDPV such a good groove to get people moving but is It’s something we play at Dragnet and I just got something that not everyone will know. And what do you like to end with? K: ‘Let’s Go Crazy’ by Prince. A: At Shake we more often than not end the night with ‘Crazy In Love’ by Beyoncé and at Dragnet Madonna’s ‘Like A Prayer’ does the job. After a big night there’s only one way to go, and that’s up. Which song would you reach for to rescue a dancefloor? K: ‘Le Freak’ by Chic. A: It’s got to be ‘Jump Around’ by House of Pain, I’ve felt the floorboards bouncing quite a few times when I’ve played that at Shake. It never fails. Which song would you play to show off the breadth and excellence of your taste? K: ‘How Much Are They’ by Jah Wobble and Can. A: Perhaps something like the Optimo Espacio remix of Liquid Liquid’s ‘Optimo’. A great twist on an underground classic. Which was the first song you played in your first ever set? K: Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Foxy Lady’. A: The first song I played at Shake was Jay Z’s ‘H to the Izzo’ but the first track I ever played out will have been something like The Sonics’ ‘Psycho’, which is totally different but I love it just as much. Which was the last new song you heard that you knew immediately had to feature in your next set? A: ‘King Kunta’ by Kendrick Lamar, it’s one of my highlights off his amazing new album and fits perfectly beside ODB’s ‘Baby I Got Ya Money’ at Shake! K: For me it’s John Carpenter’s ‘Vortex’ and Kendrick’s ‘Wesley’s Theory’. What would you play to calm everyone down after a big fight in the club? K: Bob Marley’s ‘One Love’. A: That’s a really good call from Kristian. I’d reach for War’s ‘Why Can’t We Be Friends’ if DJing at Dragnet! What song would you play at midnight on New Year’s Eve? K: I usually play whatever record I feel defined the year, so over the years I have played everything from ‘Seven Nation Army’ by The White Stripes to, ‘Paper Planes’ by MIA and ‘Get Lucky’ by Daft Punk and beyond. I’m not shy about playing era defining records. A: If it was at Shake I’d go for Outkast’s ‘Hey Ya’ or at Dragnet I’d probably pull out ‘1999’ by Prince – sometimes the obvious choice is the right choice! Which song do you think could really do with a decent remix to unlock its disco potential? K: I’d love to hear a slinky disco version of ‘Pacific State’ by 808 State. A: A good modern dub remix of Depeche Mode’s ‘Just Can’t Get Enough’ would be great at Dragnet. Which song do you avoid playing because it’s been done to death? A: When ‘Uptown Funk’ came along I expected to get sick of it pretty quickly despite it being an amazing record, but it just hasn’t happened yet; it’s too much fun and still blows the roof of at Shake. I did get sick of Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’ pretty quickly though! Which song did you used to avoid because it had been done to death, but which has actually now gone full circle and come back round to just being ace again?

bored of it despite it being a true classic. Now I often play Francois K’s NYC Vocal mix of the track and even the original does it for me again. Under what circumstances would you play ‘Baby Got Back’? K: I have no problem with playing it in the right context: it’s got a ghetto booty vibe and I love all of that bouncy stuff but I’d rather go back a little further to the daddies of all that and play ‘Me So Horny’ by 2 Live Crew, a proper party record. A: We’d have to be pretty deep into the party… Which song has given you the biggest euphoric rush on a dancefloor? A: The first time I played ‘That’s Not Me’ by Grime don Skepta the crowd at Shake went so so wild, it was pretty special. Also when I played Dimitri From Paris’ remix of Prince’s ‘I Wanna Be Your Lover’ at Unknown Festival in Croatia, that was something else. K: There’s been too many to list from the last ten years but I don’t think there’s been a record that sent me into spasms of euphoria as much as ‘All My Friends’ by LCD Soundsystem. Which song would you stick on at a barbecue round a mate’s house on a sunny, lazy Sunday? K: 60s Surf Pop and early 90s West coast Hip Hop both make great barbecue listening. So ‘Surfin Bird’ by the Trash Men and ‘Let Me Ride’ by Dr Dre will get the burgers juiced and poppin’. A: Bill Withers’ ‘Use Me’ would work a treat or perhaps ‘Can I Kick It’ by A Tribe Called Quest. Which songs have got an unexpectedly strong reaction when you played them? A: Stormzy’s ‘Know Me From’, a new grime single that didn’t make it into the top 40, is huge at Shake at the moment, I didn’t expect it to be so big when I played it for the first time last month. K: Gary Glitter records get an incredible reaction and not a bad reaction either! Which track made you think “I’ve just made a terrible mistake” as soon as you started playing it? K: Playing one too many reggae tracks when it’s time to change it up! A: This can happen when I get too excited with like 20, 30 people who are into a certain thing on the dancefloor and forget about the rest of the crowd who don’t give a damn about the new Todd Terje record or whatever. It’s easy to play to those guys who are giving you loads of energy. What’s the weirdest request you’ve ever had? A: People asking for records that we would never play like David Guetta etc. It’s just not going to happen after we’ve just played the Wu Tang Clan is it!? K: I was once asked if I had any James Brown whilst playing James Brown, and another time I was asked if I had anything funky, while playing James Brown - the man who invented funk and was indeed the funkiest man on earth! Any tips for anyone taking control of the tunes at a house party? K: Never play what you alone want to hear, play what you think will actually feel right at the party, you’d be surprised how many people can’t grasp this. I’ve heard the most outrageously inappropriate selections at house parties - it’s actually very entertaining and an interesting art in itself - the art of killing the mood at a house party! A: Just keep it fun. We’re all here for a good time!

“If you’re picking the tunes at a barbecue, ‘Let Me Ride’ by Dr Dre will get the burgers juiced and poppin’”

Andrew Hutchinson (left) and Krippa spin bangers at Dragnet (Image: Dan Graham)

*HRUJH 0D\¿ HOG ILL! Behaviour, Ape-X, Kriss Kross and Future Funk Which song do you like to open with? Terrence Parker - Your Love. A nice soulful groover to get the limbs moving And what do you like to end with? The Dimitri from Paris re-edit of ‘I Wanna Be Your Lover’ by Prince. Perfect feel good ender for when the lights come on. Which song would you reach for to rescue a dancefloor? ‘Pump Up The Jam’ by Technotronic. A classic. Which song would you play to show off the breadth and excellence of your taste? BADBADNOTGOOD - The World Is Yours / Brooklyn Zoo. BADBADNOTGOOD are a young Canadian jazz trio that do jazz interpretations of hip-hop tracks. Which was the first song you played in your first ever set? It was a tribal-themed night at WHQ and I played a remix of the Lion King theme. Terrible. Which was the last new song you heard that you knew immediately had to feature in your next set? ‘Pride’ by Adesse Versions. Banger! What would you play to calm everyone down after a big fight in the club? I don’t play in clubs where people have fights! What song would you play at midnight on New Year’s Eve? Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Everywhere’. Which song do you think could really do with a decent remix to unlock its disco potential? M83’s ‘Klaus I Love You’. This track is epic but it’s way too short! Which song do you avoid playing because it’s

been done to death? ‘Nobody Else’ by Dusky. Under what circumstances would you play ‘Baby Got Back’? I don’t think I know that one... Which song did you used to avoid because it had been done to death, but which has actually now gone full circle and come back round to just being ace again? ‘Music Sounds Better With You’ by Stardust. Which song has given you the biggest euphoric rush on a dancefloor? KiNK played live at Ape-X a few years ago and it was one of the best nights I’ve been to - just one big euphoric rush. ‘Existence’ was probably the highlight. Which song would you stick on at a barbecue round a mate’s house of a sunny, lazy Sunday? ‘Lovely Day’ by LNTG. Which songs have got an unexpectedly strong reactionwhen you played them. I played ‘Freed From Desire’ at ILL! B as a bit of a joke. I knew it would go down well but it fully went off ! Which track made you think “I’ve just made a terrible mistake” as soon as you started playing it? I got carried away at ILL! B one time and played Hudson Mohawke’s ‘Thunder Bay’. Such a large tune, but the crowd weren’t feeling it so it was a bit awkward. Had to quickly bring it back to house. What’s the weirdest request you’ve ever had? I played at the Desi society ball and was given a list of Bollywood tracks that I’d never heard but had to try and mix. It was fun though.

The Courier

features.33

Monday 18 May 2015

Culture Â clash

What Â do Â international Â students Â really Â think Â of Â our Â TXLUNV FXVWRPV DQG GULQNLQJ KDELWV" :H DVNHG Âż YH foreigners Â about Â how Â they Â adapted Â to Â life Â in Â the Â UK Â

Vilte Â Balciunaite Second Â year Â Media Â & Â Comms Panevezys, Â Lithuania What did you know about Newcastle and the UK before you moved here? One of my best friends has lived in the UK for the last ten years, so I had an idea of what the entire lifestyle was but it was still a bit of a shock when I moved here and I realised I knew next to nothing. I Googled images however, and I checked the Wikipedia page. I knew it had a good nightlife! Basically, I saw it was a pretty city so probably that was enough me. I think a lot of people are like that. What were your first impressions? I loved it. The images didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lie. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an absolutely beautiful city. It was a bit of a shock with the language, like obviously the accent is quite difficult. But I really enjoy it here, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m still enjoying it a lot.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was really surprising how people here are, on the outside, very friendly, but might not end up being friendly at allâ&#x20AC;? Was it easy to adjust? I think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not easy for anyone. It depends on how determined you are to integrate yourself, how determined you are to adjust to a new lifestyle and let yourself outside of your comfort zone at home. So I pushed myself a lot to fit in in this environment and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m very happy that I succeeded. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a bit of a different person now, really. I think the biggest culture shock I experienced was meeting those very different people. Because obviously, some people are really friendly, and others arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s difficult to separate one from the other. But I think thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not only because youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in a different country, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because you leave school and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re used to the same people constantly â&#x20AC;&#x201C; I spent the last 12 years of school around the same people! And when I moved I had to leave them all behind and got thrown into a completely new world. The uni puts a lot of effort to make us feel like weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re accepted here. However, you must be very determined to actually integrate in this society because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very difficult. You have to be very psychologically prepared for it. What are the three aspects of living in Newcastle and the UK which have been most surprising? I think I was definitely surprised by the drinking culture, and just student life in general I suppose. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just so different to Lithuania. This is a really difficult question because thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s obviously a difference but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not easy to pin it down. I think it was really surprising how people here are, on the outside, very friendly, but might end up not being friendly at all. I think that makes most Lithuanians and stick to their own communities. But you just get used to that! And now that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve lived here for a while I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really pinpoint those shocking differences anymore. Would you stay? I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think I would choose to stay here. If I had to stay for whatever reason, I would be happy, because I do like the city, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got bigger plans for myself. But obviously never say never, and after I graduate I suppose I could stay here to work. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a really nice city. I think it depends on whether Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to find a good job and that will determine if Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll stay in Newcastle. My dream is to go to London, however I wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t choose a waitressing job there over a graduate entry level job here.

MĂŠlodie Â Picart MA Â Marketing Evreux, Â Normandy, Â France What did you know about Newcastle and the UK before you moved here? I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know much about Newcastle before I moved here. What I knew was that it was close to the Scottish border, next to the sea, and I knew about the Geordie Shoreâ&#x20AC;Ś I have been to South England before, and London during school trips, but living here during one year was different. To me, British ate jelly, drank tea, wore tweed, were hung-up and posh. Some of these are true. What were your first impressions? My first impression of Newcastle was good. When I arrived, the weather was really nice, the city was lovely and alive, and the people welcoming. Newcastle is the perfect city for students. Was it easy to adjust? It took time but in the end, you just adapt because you have no choice. It forces you to be open-minded. I was not expecting such a difference between the British way of life and the French one. The way we enjoy food, the dressing codes, uni, the shops, the rhythmâ&#x20AC;Ś It is very different but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why we choose to go abroad. What are the three aspects of living in Newcastle which you found most surprising? First, the checkout assistant who asks you how was your day and what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re gonna do tonightâ&#x20AC;Ś This is still surprising. Then, the girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; outfits and drunken state on the Friday nights. Finally, the way people dress according to the weather; they wear shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only 16Â°C. Do you want to stay in Newcastle after your course finishes? I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to stay in Newcastle but I would like to stay in the UK. I enjoyed my staying here, and I would like to discover more.

Hannah Â Goldstein Third Â year Â English Â Lit La Â Grande, Â Portland, Â USA

Cathrine Â Myhre Second Â year Â Media Â & Â Comms Sortland, Â Norway What did you know about Newcastle and the UK before you moved here? I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know much about Newcastle other than what a quick google search told me- football and beer is important â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and if you asked me back then I would say I knew quite a lot about the UK. It turns out I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know half as much about the UK as I thought. The people here are more open than stereotypes would have it and the country has so much history and culture to offer. What were your first impressions? I first thought Newcastle was lovely and lively. Compared to London itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s small and quiet, but there is always something happening if you are on the lookout for it. The weather in the North East also seemed to be the worst. My friends in London kept bragging about how sunny it was there and I was like: Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mid May and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m wearing my winter coat. What is this summer you speak of? Did you find it easy to adjust? I found it relatively easy to adjust to the British way of life because I lived in student halls with a bunch of British students from all over the country.

I made some faux pas and inadvertently insulted people because I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t polite enough but after a month of two I felt comfortable with the British way of life. Norwegian culture and British culture are also not that different so it was an easy transition. What are the three aspects of living in Newcastle and the UK which have been most surprising? The alcohol â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Having a drink every day of the week is unheard of where Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m from. Here that and hanging out at the pub is a major part of peoples social life. The attitude â&#x20AC;&#x201C; There is a major north/south divide I never knew about. And everyone seems to hate London, except those who were born there. The attire - Bigg Market on any day of the week, do I need to say more? Geordies seem unable to feel cold. It is like some weird superpower. Do you want to stay in Newcastle after your course finishes? Newcastle has found a place in my heart and when my three years here are over I will miss it, but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think I will stay. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve found myself missing the particularities of my own country more and more. I miss having my family less than 16 hours of travel away. Newcastle is lovely and I will be applying for jobs in the UK as well as at home, but I think IÂ´ll be ready for a new challenge come next summer. #TheNorthRemembers and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll forever remember the North.

What did you know about Newcastle and the UK before you moved here? I knew nothing about Newcastle whatsoever. I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have pointed it out on a map. I hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even heard of Geordie Shore. I had a glance at the Wikipedia page before coming over and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about the extent of it. About the UKâ&#x20AC;Ś I knew basically what I had seen in movies, which was misleading cause I have yet to meet a wizard. What were your first impressions? My first impression of Newcastle was pretty grim actually but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only because I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t find the high street for about a week so I was just wandering around, like: â&#x20AC;&#x153;This doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t look like the picturesâ&#x20AC;Śâ&#x20AC;? Otherwise first impressions are pretty hazy now. It was freshersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; at Ricky Road, so if I had any first impressions they were drowned in alcohol immediately. Was it easy to adjust? People thought I was a bit rude to start with because I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t very good at the English pleasantries. Even now my best mate has to excuse me sometimes when Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m meeting new people. A bit like, â&#x20AC;&#x153;She doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean to be rude, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just Americanâ&#x20AC;?. Also I had to get used to people not talking to each other on the street as much. Otherwise it was quite smooth sailing. What are the three aspects of living in Newcastle and the UK which have been most surprising? Not sure how to answer this oneâ&#x20AC;Ś it all feels pretty normal now. Newcastle definitely feels like a home, more so than anywhere else has. I guess I am surprised by how when the sun comes out suddenly hundreds of people youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never seen before flock Jesmond dressed like theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to a fashion show. Also the desire to be tanned. Like, who are you fooling? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only two, sorry! Do you want to stay in Newcastle after your course finishes? I would absolutely adore to stay in England but would probably check out someplace a little bigger. Unfortunately it is not up to me and I will be kicked out come October. Chances are I wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be let in either with a Tory government so cheers for the memories and nice knowing ya!

34.gaming

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Gaming Editors: Sophie Baines and Ben Tyrer

Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate Sophie Baines covers the Assassin’s Creed reveal, and laments the loss of puntastic name Victory

’m sure if you’re a regular reader of the Courier, you’ll have noticed the general love of puns we have here in the office, and while the stream revealing gameplay and art is all well and good, I feel they’re really gonna miss calling the Victorian world of Assassin’s Creed: Victory. I know I miss it already. But that’s by the by. What truly matters here is the gameplay which looks... like GTA but with a horse and carriage. And I’m gonna be honest, unless that shit is quest-locked that is all I’m going to do. I will complete every quest driving around a horse and carriage. Anyway! The biggest news, at least so far as I am concerned is that we finally get a playable female character in the main series. Her name is Evie and she’s absolutely perfect. I cannot wait to play the shit out of her character. And of course there’s her brother, but who cares about the men, right? We’ve been able to play as the white facial haired twentysomething for years, not gonna lie, I’ve kind of lost interest in their “character development”; step aside, its time for the ladies to shine.

E3: Predictions From the mysterious Ubisoft conference, to the inevitable CoD reveal, next year’s Gaming Editors take a look at the announcements they’re expecting at this years E3. From wild dreams to practicalities, our writers prepare for all the stress and joy that comes with the annual week of madness

Ubi, Sony, Bethesda, Oh My! T

he biggest and most mental week in gaming will be upon us once again, and as much as people look forward to the awkward businessmen, inevitable rapper appearance in Microsoft’s presentation and Twitch streamers derailing Ubisoft’s presentation; what gamers look forward to the most is the glutton of juicy announcements, as these three days are when developers pull no punches. In E3 tradition, people flood message boards with announcement predictions (both crazy and not), and I’m here to share my personal predictions. For Sony’s offerings, we’ll see more Uncharted 4 footage as well as a release date finally, as well as some info on the new Ratchet and Clank game and Sony will finally spill the beans on what their studios have been working on (The Last Guardian lives; believe). Expect to see a new Gears of War and Rise of the Tomb Raider footage at Microsoft’s presser. Ubisoft will have “surprise” reveals of a new Assassin’s Creed game as well as a new Splinter Cell (or Beyond Good and Evil 2, like that would ever happen). We’ll get an in-depth look at Mirror’s Edge 2 and the new Mass Effect at EA, in addition to football. 2015 also marks the first year Bethesda will be putting on a show, so Fallout 4 surely a certainty this time around? Nah, they’ll announce something with dragons in it again. Michael Hicks

Fallout 4 I 50% of the population can finally play as their own gender, and I’m not giving Ubisoft a free pass on this one. This has come way too late in this series to be warranted a celebration. This has been a long time coming, and they’re getting no thanks from me for finally giving in to girls of the world. In terms of actual gameplay, I couldn’t see anything particularly revolutionary in the way the character moved, in fact, if anything it seemed a little clunkier than Unity. Although it can be forgiven perhaps, considering that the game we saw was in pre-alpha stage.

“We’ve been able to play as the white facial haired twenty-something for years, I’ve kind of lost interest”

The graphics were very pretty, as is to be expected when they announce the game in this manner. Plus we had an added cameo by Wednesday Addams interrupting a conversation with another Assassin. All of whom had very nice voice acting. The beauty of the game play we’ve seen is undeniable, but that’s always the case with these things, they always make the game look gorgeous and then roll around release day and everything is broken. All in all, this is looking up to be more of the same, which is... good... I guess. Assassin’s Creed has been a part of my life for a very long time, so I can’t just give up on it now. I’ll be hoping and praying they’ll pull off the joy and wonder (and grit) of Victorian London. Map was always something Ubi pulled out of the bag, and even Unity didn’t disappoint in that respect. If I can’t climb to the top of Big Ben I will be extremely surprised and disappointed. The game will be released on October 24 barring any last minute changes. Here’s hoping for a good game of climbing, jumping, killing and pretty awesome ladies kicking ass.

’ve written previously on the fabled sequels that never came to be, but I’m desperately hoping that E3 will give us one we all dearly crave. Bethesda has announced its first ever E3 conference, and while nothing has been formally declared by the developer, I am tentatively banking on Fallout 4. The Fallout series is nothing short of legendary at this point, the defining universe when it comes to post-apocalyptic survival. While the earlier entries were turn-based and placed a greater emphasis on strategy, Fallout 3 and its subsequent follow-up New Vegas were much more than bland third person shooters. They forced you to explore the wastes of a ravaged United States following devastating nuclear war, finding food, shelter and other survivors, all the while gunning down radiation-afflicted ghouls and mutants. At this point, nobody knows what to expect. A change of locale might be nice, or Bethesda may even go the whole nine yards and bring an official Fallout Online to the table, a project scrapped many years ago. Whatever happens, they know they have a reputation to uphold, and I’m sure the fee-paying public will be plenty vocal if they fuck up. Good luck, Bethesda. Ollie Burton

Call of Duty I

t’s an annual fixture, really, and therefore a pretty safe bet. Call of Duty has done something sinister and subtle over the last 8 years, taking the already popular FPS genre and stripping away just about every bit of originality until only its desiccated corpse remains. Remember the infamous fish AI? Of course you do. We all remember it. We shall never forget. But apart from Call of Duty itself, we can also expect an appearance from the copycats. From Medal of Honor to Rainbow Six, every shooter franchise you can think of wants to break off some of what CoD is selling and repackage it with their own brand. The fact that CoD is still going, Warcraft-esque, unstoppable in spite of its opposition and imitations, is pretty clear proof that it’s not working. But hell, you can’t blame them for trying. Except you can. If there’s one thing worse than an unimaginative clone series shitting out bland instalments year after year with next to no variation, it’s the rabid bandwagon-jumpers chasing after the disgusting amounts of cash trailing in its wake. You can bet someone will be after the CoD throne yet a-fucking-gain this year, and if I might humbly extend my prediction a little further, they will fail entirely to steal its thunder. James McCoull

The Courier

gaming.35

Monday 18 May 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming

Cosmos of confusion: GOG Galaxy

Ben Tyrer wonders if what gamers really need is yet another way to manage our digital games

hen it comes to digital distribution platforms, gamers usually don’t have much say in the matter. If you want to play certain games on PC, you’re going to be creating an account and installing some software that handles the maintenance and installation of your product. It can be a blessing and a curse, with platforms like Steam providing exceptional convenience and value but also being subject to frequent and interminable downtime, barring access to community features like chat or, even worse, locking you out of your games. The same goes for EA games and Origin, Ubisoft titles locked into Uplay, and Blizzard games which – if not now, soon – will require the BattleNet launcher. While the functions these platforms provide are valuable, dealing with all these different clients for particular games is becoming more hassle than it should be. Now, CDProjektRed, developers of the well-received-if-niche Witcher RPG series and proprietors of GOG.com, formally Good Old Games, are throwing their own digital distribution hat into the ring in the form of GOG Galaxy, a launcher they describe as ‘the optional client’. What this basically means is you will never actually need GOG Galaxy in order to download and install the games you buy from GOG – it’s simply there if you want a piece of software to keep the games you buy from them organised and automatically updated.

“Most people have already stashed their digital gaming eggs in one Steamy basket”

But when many gamers have turned to GOG precisely because their games are not reliant on a launcher, it has to be asked – how many people are going to opt in to another client in a space already saturated with competition? As ever, GOG’s ideals

James McCoull goes commando in this surprising

are noble in principle – they promise to never collect private information, and every feature of the client – including achievements and chat – can be disabled, allowing you to tailor the client to your exact requirements. If you never want to take the client online, that’s completely possible too – unlike Steam, GOG Galaxy claims to have fault-free offline verification. Other innovative features are on their way, too, like cross-platform play – meaning you won’t be isolated from friends on Steam just because you bought your games through GOG. It’s all sounding good, but ultimately… well, optional. Most gamers have already stashed their digital eggs in one Steamy basket, so the idea of splitting up a game library further doesn’t sound appealing when I already have to juggle at least four others. To

truly consider a full switch to GOG, they’d need to give me a free copy of every game I have on Steam, and considering Steam has a larger catalogue than GOG that doesn’t seem like a plausible idea. In reality I will probably use Galaxy to keep the occasional GOG purchases I make automatically updated, because having to browse to their site to see if updates are available is honestly an archaic practise when compared against Steam. The Witcher 3’s launch on the 19th will be the first real test of Galaxy’s stability and features, so here’s hoping the new client is up to snuff by then - and considering what seems like a bug is currently limiting the client’s download rate to less than a megabyte per second, it’s already looking grim for the fledgling client. It’s only a beta, of course, so there is plenty of room for improvements to come.

What I’m Playing: Sunless Sea Christopher McCann sails dangerously close to the rocks of eldritch insanity

consider myself a fan of difficult, masochistic games, so when I heard of Sunless Sea, a game in which you can eat your own crew while adrift in a vast underground sea and then die of terror, I had to try it out. The game is set in the world of ‘Fallen London’, a gothic alternative reality of Victorian London and the setting for a browser based game of the same name, though familiarity with this game is by no means necessary to enjoy Sunless Sea. In fact, I found that the best way to enjoy the game is to go in totally blind, unaware of the horrors that await you. You play as the captain of a steam boat travelling the ‘Unterzee’, a vast underground sea filled with dangers and opportunities, though not exactly in equal measure. The game plays primarily as a survival and trading simulator, at least in the early stages, with high-tailing it out of combat situations often being the best strategy (something I learned after a spate of highly embarrassing deaths to such horrors as a swarm of bats, a slightly oversized jellyfish and an iceberg). Gameplay is refreshingly

Reload: Republic Commando

simple, though the combat can be challenging for new players – relying on careful and considered movement based on trying to keep your enemy in front of you or to your port or starboard (see, I learned the terminology) in order to shoot them.

“Sunless Sea’s atmosphere compares to Dark Souls” This often leads to fighting being more akin to dancing, especially with the ‘zee monsters’ who try to ram your ship. Most of the game, however, takes place in text events, the quality of which is remarkably good. Though the reading does at times get tedious – especially when confronted with a wall of text – the writing is excellent; the language used aids significantly in the creation of the game’s world and atmosphere. Any fan of old school RPGs will find themselves right at home in the wealth of branching quests and storylines the game has

to offer. What really sets this game apart is the constant sense that you are travelling into the unknown. The game is vast, with a large explorable map which changes every game and hundreds of random events and opportunities ensuring that no two playthroughs will be the same. Sure, you could trawl the wiki for a guide, but you’d lose so much of what makes the game great. Stumbling across far flung islands with amazing stories is a constant delight (the island populated entirely by Postmen was a personal favourite) and you can be sure that every island has its own sinister secrets and stories for you to immerse yourself in. Sunless Sea’s atmosphere is one of constant unease, comparable that to Dark Souls,, supported by an excellent soundtrack and, crucially, the game’s status as a Roguelike. In a world where one wrong step can kill you, the fear of losing everything creates a bond between you and your character that drives your investment in the game and makes playing Sunless Sea such a great experience.

Star Wars standalone

can’t think of a lot of games that start you out as a foetus in a jar. Not enough, anyway, and very few that turn out quite like Star Wars: Republic Commando. Released in 2005 to tie in with Revenge of the Sith, coming out a couple of months before the film, you wouldn’t expect much of this squad-based shooter at first glance. The weapons are samey and limited, the combat doesn’t really offer anything that hasn’t already been done, and the options for controlling your squadmates are somewhat limited, to say the least. So why is this one of the best damn shooters going? If Republic Commando has anything, it’s heart. This is a game in which you play as a literal clone, with other literal clones as your brothers, and yet it has more nuanced and engaging characters than the whole of the prequel trilogy. The second act (of three, incidentally, each with different settings and very different atmospheres) places you and your squad on a derelict Republic cruiser, and the

“If Republic Commando has anything, it’s heart”

whole first level has you desperately seeking out your scattered pod brothers as they’re picked off one by one by unknown forces aboard the ship, even losing contact with your omnipresent squad Advisor. I am not exaggerating when I say that this is among the most tense levels in any game I have ever played. You come to love the characters, who are astonishingly well developed to say the whole of their personalities is given in the dialogue between one shoot-out and the next. And most importantly, their sense of brotherhood is communicated perfectly. The back-and-forth between these four soldiers is seamless and entertaining, spicing up the action even more. Supporting all this is what in all honestly is much better music than you could ever hope from a fairly standard shooter, Star Wars or otherwise. Swelling, low orchestral crescendos add a great deal of drama to already tense and epic scenes – sniping a fleeing ship out of the air is one thing, but the booming of choral voices in the background as it crashes to the ground really makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something decisive and important. Ammo is very much limited, as each attachment for your DC-17m Blaster uses its own ammo pool that’s replenished with different magazines, so when your rifle ammo depletes (which happens very, very often) you’ll have to switch tactics and make the best of whatever else you have. Or – and this is where the limited nature of the weapons works for Republic Commando – you’ll have to get smart with using your squad. Your pod brothers can be set to different behaviours, manning particular positions or focusing enemies at your command, so as long as you’ve got a good head for tactics your lack of ammo won’t hinder you much at all. Republic Commando is a woefully overlooked shooter and a fantastic installation in the legendary Star Wars franchise. Hopefully you picked it up for £2.09 in the May the 4th sale, but if not, don’t worry – it’s a steal at the £7 they’re charging now, and it’s not too long until summer.

36.science&technology

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Science Editors: Laura Staniforth and Penny Polson Online Science Editor: Jack Marley

Stress to impress

Alex Irvine checks out some techniques designed to lower stress levels in this exam season

tress can actually be extremely debilitating when it comes to exam season. You may not be able to sleep and stress can interfere with memory recall. Cortisol is just one of a string of hormones produced in the flight or fight response that leads to a negative effect on memory recall. Well what if I told you that exam stress could be cast away in a moment’s notice? Well you best breathe a sigh of relief because... breathing is… exactly… what… you… need… to do? Simply breathing or listening to nature sounds are consistently offered as those miracle solutions to the feeling of impending doom that accompanies exams. Here I’m going to be the test subject, and if you, like me, are too disorganised to have implemented a healthy diet and stuck to a sleep schedule before you felt exams breathing down your neck maybe you should try it too. In preparation for this little experiment I had to make sure I was stressed out enough so that it yielded accurate results. Unfortunately that morning I felt calm. So I took it upon myself to stress myself out. Looking at my revision checklist soon righted that wrong. After that, with unease restored I was ready to go. I settled down (more like sank nervously down) to watch Harvard trained Dr Andrew Weil’s tips on breathing exercises. At the beginning of the video Andrew says that this needs to be practised over time for the ultimate benefits. Oops. Too late for that now. The instructions state I have to: put the tip of my tongue on the roof of my mouth; exhale completely through my mouth, making a woosh sound; close mouth, and inhale quietly through nose for 4 counts; hold breath for a count of seven; exhale completely through mouth making woosh sound for 8 counts; then repeat 3 times. I’d say it DOES actually work. I felt my heartbeat slow down and my thoughts cleared. But why is that exactly? Deep breathing or Diaphragmatic breathing is

Image: Lucie Tylova

routinely said to help calm us down as it stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system which is essentially how we wind down and chill. It essentially returns the body to rest after the activation of the sympathetic nervous system which controls the flight or fight response. Diaphragmatic breathing occurs in all mammal species when they are free from danger, and ‘in a state of relaxation’. Harvard Professor and cardiologist Herbert Benson has said that by breathing deeply your body reaps the benefits of these techniques almost

immediately. Altering the pH of blood, changing blood pressure and even changing the expression of genes. However what is effective on me won’t necessarily work on other people. If you could simply just breathe to calm yourself down there wouldn’t be around 3 million suffering from anxiety in the UK. Techniques like this do seem like the product of pseudoscience. On Dr Weil’s website he even has a section entitled ‘Spirit and Inspiration’. Also according to Guru Andrew

“Deep breathing or diaphragmatic breathing is routinely said to help calm us down”

Spiny happy people

Other calming techniques - Have a go at guided meditation - Scribble in a colouring book - Go outside and get some fresh air - Try out some ASMR videos - Sign up to hug some cats and dogs at a shelter - Have a nice bubble bath - Do some exercise like going for a run or some yoga - Just walk out of Newcastle and leave all your responsibilities behind - Listening to white noise - Watch some of your favourite comedy TV shows - Have a warm drink - Make sure you’ve eaten recently - Slaughter some fools in Mario Kart - Use some hand cream - Have a dance party - Light your favourite candle - Treat yourself to some chocolate it’s the ratio of 4:7:8 that’s important with this technique. And if we were talking the ratio of cereal and milk, I’d tend to agree that ratios are important – but I’m not too sure where the empirical evidence for this has come from. Can there quite possibly be a golden ratio of breathing? Although many people have championed the success of techniques like this with anecdotal evidence, there is still very limited research that confirms their success. I guess then, it’s a case of try it and see. Good luck with breathing and good luck for your exams. I hope you prosper in both! Now… just breathe.

Summer’s here! Ollie Burton chats about caring for some of our favourite hedgerow critters

t’s the time of year now when hedgehogs are starting to appear in our UK hedgerows once again, having woken from their long winter slumber. They typically hibernate between November and March, as their primary food sources become scarce during the cold period. Unfortunately over the last few years hedgehogs have been declining in number steadily in Britain due to unpredictable weather patterns and loss of traditional habitats to urban development. Some human intervention is necessary in order to prevent further losses, but remember that you cannot take in a wild hedgehog as a pet, as it is currently illegal under UK law. However, you can take steps within your garden to give our snuffling pals a better chance at survival. Make them a home – leave little areas of your garden unkempt with plenty of leaf litter and decaying logs. These provide great opportunity for building nests, as well as a fantastic home for the type of insects and invertebrates (slugs, worms etc.) that hedgehogs love to eat. If you don’t have any logs or a tolerance for untidiness, you can always do something simple like placing a large board against a wall. You should also always check for their presence before using any bladed equipment such as lawnmowers or strimmers, particularly near the edges of the hedgerows they like to occupy. Similarly, compost heaps tend to feel warm and safe to them, so be sure to check these before using

Image: Robnik

“Make them a home – leave little areas of your garden unkempt with plenty of leaf litter and decaying logs”

a garden fork to turn the pile. Also do not use slug pellets in your garden, consider using beer traps or spreading ground-up shells around the plants you want to keep safe from pests. If there is no alternative to using the pellets, you can place them under a piece of slate so the hedgehogs cannot reach them. There are plenty of suitable foods for hedgehogs that most of us have in the house, such as dog food, crushed cat biscuits or chopped boiled eggs. Most pet stores will also sell specialist hedgehog food. NEVER leave milk out for them, as this gives them painful diarrhoea; give them fresh tapwater in a shallow bowl. If you come across an injured or sickly hedgehog, remember a few things to keep you and it safe. Do not pick it up to have a look, and keep it away from your face at all times, as like any other wild animal they will bite and scratch if they feel threatened. If something is very visibly wrong, quickly place the hedgehog in a secure cardboard box with suitable ventilation while wearing gloves, and take it to a vet as quickly as possible. Always remember to wash your hands after handling them. Follow these instructions and your garden will be a healthy happy environment for a hedgehog to habitate. They require little intervention on your part, but will help keep the population sustainable for future generations to enjoy seeing as part of the incredible wildlife we have on our doorstep.

The Courier

technology&science.37

Monday 18 May 2015

Worried about rays

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science

Georgie Murray delves into sun cream science, and why you should aim to use it

e all know that sun cream is hugely important when protecting ourselves against harmful UV rays created by the sun. There are varying factors of sunscreen, and the higher the number the more protection you receive, however how does this work? The key point we must understand is that melanin, the pigment we all possess (excluding people who are albino) in our skin, which gives our hair and skin colour and is the main protector against sunburn. However melanin can only do so much. The more melanin you have the darker your skin tone, and the more natural UV protection your skin possesses. To assist melanin in its job of keepSunscreen

Visible

No sunscreen

ing our skin protected from harmful and sometimes irreversible damage, we should all use sun protection. The protection most commonly used is sun cream, its chemistry we have to thank for this shield against harmful UVA & UVB (the main types of UV radiation that reach earth and cause sun damage). The chemical basis of sunscreen stems from an inorganic physical barrier and an organic photon absorption layer. The inorganic barrier in most sun creams is made up of a mix of titanium dioxide and zinc oxide, tiny amounts of these oxidised metals cause no harmful effects to our skin (unless you have an oxidised metal allergy in which case, bad Sunscreen

Ultraviolet

No sunscreen

Image: Spigget

luck), and simply cause reflection or scattering of the rays. However this physical layer can be washed off over time, and especially if you rub yourself dry with a towel after a cooling dip. These chemicals give the visible white colour of sun cream, and the first sun creams ever made, only used these two.

“Melatonin is our main protector against sunburn” The organic chemicals used in sunscreen vary hugely between product, however all do the same thing, and the higher the factor, the more of these chemicals are involved. The method in which these chemicals protect our skin is simply by absorbing photons, the energy particles that cause damage to skin. The chemicals bond to these photons and dissipate their energy harmlessly in the form of heat, which is why you can sometimes feel hotter when you have a lovely thick layer of sun cream on. Variations of chemicals and their associated structures allow for the full range of UVA and UVB wavelengths to be absorbed, as long as a well applied layer is renewed throughout sun exposure. The reason we must also re-apply sunscreen throughout the day, is these chemicals have a limited number of photons that they can absorb, and will eventually break down over time during UV exposure, avobenzene is a good example of a commonly used sun protecting chemical, which isn’t photostable. Other chemicals are added to sun creams to slow down this UV breakdown. It should be noted that ALL sun creams go through the same rigorous testing drugs do, before they are sold to the mass market. There are many varieties of sun protection available, for instance hypo-allergenic sun creams which contain more sensitive to skin organic chemicals, but still offer the same protection (as someone who uses them, they also smell way nicer). There are also nongreasy types, to stop many holiday tantrums which use new reflecting particles to replace the greasy oxidised metals. There are so many options in fact you’d be a fool of a Took not to use them.

Special Whale of the Week Bottlenose dolphin (Tursiops spp.)

Illustration by Becky Irvine

Do you believe?

Michael Hicks investigates a strange noise from the edge of space

hen we think of space, we often think of the possibility that, just maybe humanity isn’t alone as we think we are in the cold, black expanse called the universe. With the evergreen popularity of series such as Alien and Doctor Who, you don’t have to look far to see evidence of our fascination with aliens. Alien lovers once again had something to feverishly talk about last week as NASA announced that they had managed to record a noise straight out of ‘The X-Files’ from the edge of space.

“...it’s a little too early to be preparing for the arrival of little green men from Mars” Daniel Bowman, a student from the University of North Carolina, recorded the mysterious sounds, captured from twenty two miles above Earth, last year as part of a NASA project to record and analyse noises originating from space. The project utilises microphones that record infrasounds – sounds with a frequency so low that they aren’t audible to human ears, although they can be heard if the recording is sped up. The recording was taken by a helium balloon rigged up with microphones and deployed over the states of New Mexico and Arizona as part of their High Altitude Student Platform. However, it’s a little too early to be running around and preparing for the arrival of little green men from Mars. Whilst NASA currently has no clear idea from where the sound comes from, current boring guesses include interference from a nearby wind farm, the ocean, wind of even vibrations coming from the cables running along the balloon itself, and so forth, which really means that no one has a clue of what made the noise. We’ll hopefully soon have a much clearer idea, as scientists will be sending up more balloons later in the year in an effort to shed more light on the origins of the sound. Bowman hopes that this exciting new discovery paves the way for a resurgence of infrasound research, as no real, concerted effort to investigate using the technique has been carried out using the recordings for fifty years. Some scientists are hoping to use similar equipment to record information on two of our nearest celestial neighbours; the Moon and Mars. The boffins behind the proposed idea say that using infrasound will reveal more information about the weather and the environment on both, although there’s one thing they all agree on; no matter how bad the weather could be possibly be on either of them, it’ll still be better than summer in Newcastle.

The Courier

puzzles.39

Monday 18 May 2015

Puzzles 1

Puzzles Editors: Helen Daly & Antonia Velikova

Courier Catch- phrase

See if you can guess (catch) the common idiom (phrase) shown in these picture combos?

8 9 10 11 13 15

“I’m Roy Walker and I heartily endorse this event and/or product”

17 18

19 21

20 23

Across

Down

1 Early 2000s pop duo, The - Girls (6) 4 Chicken restaurant (6) 10 Winged sandals worn by Hermes (7) 8 Abbreviation of west coast American city (2) 9 Flavours to add to a dish (6) 11 United Kingdom continent (6) 15 Swampy part of a lake (5) 17 Item worn on head (3) 18 Scoundrel (5) 19 2007 Ellen Page film about pregnancy (4) 21 Abbreviation for computer (2) 22 Attack (4) 24 Ye olde language (5) 25 Doctor (2)

1 City in Kent, Chaucerian focus (10) 2 Wuthering Heights, one of the Bronte sisters (5) 3 ‘What Does the Fox Say?’ Norweigan duo (5) 5 Large mountain (3) 6 Long running Science Fiction TV show (9) 7 Description of car in ‘Greased Lightning’ (10) 12 Planet with slightly rude name (6) 13 American fictional hero (8) 14 Noise a cow makes (3) 16 Dairy treat (7) 20 - Dench (4) 21 Highest point (4) 23 Picture used to identify places (3)

For even more news, views, sports and culture, make sure you head over to thecourieronline. co.uk

Word Link Find the word that connects these three words. Word Hint: Damaging

4 2

9 3 6 1 4

3 7 8 4 9 3 2 6 1

6 8 7

Fast

Dancing

Free

_ _ _ _ _

40.sportfeatures

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Snapshot: the sporting year in pictures

The Medics’ first and second football teams remembered their friends and former players Aidan Brunger and Neil Dalton, both killed in August in Borneo, with a charity match

The women’s tennis team went the entire season unbeaten, earning promotion to the Premier Division

Rory the Lion attempts to galvanise the Uni support during the ill-fated Stan Calvert netball finale

The newly formed women’s ice hockey team played their first games

The boat club brought home the spoils in the first Boat Race of the North since 2010

The fencing team continued the successes of last year, and moved into a swanky new base of operations in Byker

NUAFC snatched the Northumbria Minor FA Cup Final against Hazlerigg by two goals to one with a last-gasp winner

The cheer squad pulled off one of the best results in their history with a second-place finish at nationals

The Courier

sportfeatures.41

Monday 18 May 2015

The Bradford Memorial in the run-up to 2015 Barnsley game Photography by Getty Images

History repeats: first as tragedy, then as farce By Josh Nicholson With the 30-year anniversary of the Bradford fires falling last week, it is still confusing how such terrifying scenes come to pass. What is most upsetting about this event is that with simple health and safety checks, such an atrocity would have been avoided and nobody would have been hurt. Too often is this the case when it comes to sporting tragedies. Not being alive for either Bradford nor Hillsborough makes it even more difficult to comprehend the pain that the families must have been through. As a regular football fan, you go to a game, have a pie, chat to those around you in the stand and generally have an all-round lovely experience, then go home to bed to mull over the day’s happening. For those involved in such tragedies, this wasn’t the case. It is unimaginable to think that a son, daughter, mother or father would not return from something so trivial as a football match. One quote from a mother involved in the Hillsborough justice campaign that will always stick is, “nobody should ever go to a football match and not return home”. This is simply haunting at the best of times. There is though, a lingering sense of hope that something is being done and is still being done. The Hillsborough disaster was caused by a myriad of different factors, most of which offer no feelings of comfort for the bereaved families who deal with the every day reality of such an event. It is agreed that police, as the media continue to state, are mostly to blame for their ignorance and total ineptitude

in letting fans free when the crush began. Although, it has been remarked upon recently the critical effect standing at football matches had on the whole event. Whereas Bradford was an uncontrollable blaze, the fact of the matter is, with the police and those pushing from the back of the stand Hillsborough was avoidable. Stadium management has come a long way since then and safe seating has been introduced in most upper tier stadiums in most footballing countries. Although standing does have its charms, especially at Kingston Park with Newcastle Falcons, it’s plain to see that sports venues are much safer and much better environments to be in nowadays. Since installing the 3G pitch it is safe to say falcons haven’t exactly kicked on as they would have expected but they kindly let us have access to have a look at the pitch and the standing areas on match day earlier this year. Rugby is a completely different atmosphere to football, fans of both sides can stand together, there is not any trouble and it generally seems like a much nicer place to be. It does make you think though about how easily sporting tragedies of the magnitude of Hillsborough could happen if the crowd becomes out of control. Kingston was not busy that day but I imagine on a packed house it would be a much more intimidating atmosphere for opposing players and the fans who are just there to enjoy the game. It’s something to be said that standing at rugby is common place and there has been minimal, if any, tragedies in the game despite its fan base.

Could it be the attitude of football fans as ‘the working class’ sport where people go to release after a week at work or school, or is it that there is an unwritten law, as they call them in rugby, that you treat the visitors as guests who want to enjoy the game? In terms of the Bradford disaster, the fact we are still moved by the horrendous pictures and videos that came from the events shows something. It shows that sport is much more than just a game on the pitch, it is a community that comes together in times

of need, in times where people need to support each other, sport pulls through. You can see it from the minutes silences, the applause on certain minutes of games, the respect gained when you pass another fan in a replica shirt on the street. Tragedies such as this only make sport stronger and while they are devastating for all involved and all those in society, yet positivity can be taken. The fact we even mark the anniversary of the Bradford fire, or Hillsborough, or the Munich air disaster at Manchester United shows that sport hasn’t yet given

up on itself, especially with the money now in football. Players might now be worth £60 million or more yet there is still an underlying heart beating in sports that it is still for the fans, maybe not from the clubs themselves but from the community about sport. Bradford was one of a kind, one where people lost lives at a time where health and safety wasn’t considered enough. We might bemoan it these days, but it’s there for protection, so events like that never happen again.

Fans commemorating the Hillsborough disaster in 2014 Photography by Getty Images

42.sportfeature

Monday 18 May 2015

The Courier

Women’s World Cup puts Chelsea run on hold By Calum Wilson The trophy cabinet at Chelsea FC has welcomed two new additions already this year with Jose Mourinho’s side winning the Capital One Cup and the Premier League, and there may be more yet to add as Chelsea Ladies eye up the Women’s Super League and the FA Women’s Cup. Chelsea Ladies were beaten to last year’s title on the last day by Liverpool, but the Blues have begun this season in real style, winning their first four matches before a goalless draw with second-placed Arsenal. The two London teams looked like the early contenders for the trophy, but Arsenal were recently dealt a blow. Kelly Smith, England Women’s all time leading goal scorer, suffering ankle ligament damage. Reigning champions Liverpool were given an opening day shock, beaten 2-1 by newly promoted Sunderland. A further defeat at the hands of Chelsea means they are some way off the early pace. It has also been a disappointing start for Manchester City Women who, despite boasting a wealth of international stars, have managed only four points from possible 12. At the wrong end of the table sit Bristol Academy. Despite making history by qualifying for this season’s Champions League and beating the famous Barcelona, it has been a different story for Bristol since the league campaign begun. They lost key names during the winter transfer window and have managed just a single point from the first five matches, resulting in the dismissal of manager Dave Edmondson. The WSL now takes a mid-season break for this summer’s Women’s World Cup in Canada. England will compete in group F with Mexico, Colombia and France. The Three Lions will be expected to get out of the group and hopefully better their record of reaching the 2007

and 2011 quarter-finals. England boss Mark Sampson is confident in his team’s ability. “We feel we are a team that are difficult to play against and on our day we can beat anyone. The ambition is to go there and win the competition but we’ve got to treat every game like a final.” England play their first match of the tournament on the 9th June against France. The WSL recommences on the 12 July and the pick of the fixtures sees two of Chelsea’s main challengers meet as Liverpool travel to Arsenal. Both these sides will be hoping that the Blues will be distracted by their appearance in the FA Women’s Cup final on 1 August. In a historic move for women’s football, the final will be played at Wembley Stadium for the first time. Favourites Chelsea will face Notts County. Chelsea beat Arsenal and then Manchester City to reach the final; meanwhile Notts County overcame WSL2 opponents Everton. Key to much of Chelsea’s early season success has been new signing Gemma Davison, who has scored an impressive 5 goals in 8 games in all competitions. Davison, who moved from Liverpool in the winter, believes her new club has a winning mentality. “Chelsea are a club that don’t want to be comfortable where they are – they have ambition – and I’m not a person that likes to be comfortable.” Speaking to TheSuperleagueSpotlight she explained, “I want to win trophies and I feel confident I can do that here. But we have to take it game by game. We have a great group of players and a great manager so whatever happens it will be special for sure.” Davison and her Chelsea teammates will be hopeful they can contribute to the club’s trophy cabinet with the FA Women’s Cup and then mirror their male counterparts by running away with the league. The WSL finishes on 4 October.

England will hope to celebrate in the Women’s World Cup Photography by Getty Images

Hitman hopes for World Cup call-up By Ollie Thomson Not many people would swap the sun drenched beaches of Sydney for the slightly less enchanting fields of Bath, but try telling Sam Burgess that. The former rugby league hero took the union world by storm last year following his decision to cross codes, and sign a 3 year contract with Bath Rugby, leaving his 3 brothers at South Sydney Rabbitohs behind, and trying his hand at union. The question on everyone’s lips however, is whether he will make England’s 30-man squad for the Rugby Union World Cup later this year, and if so in which position. Whether in the Centres or in the Back Row, Burgess falls short in terms of both experience and game knowledge, which leaves me in a state of scepticism regarding the possibility of his selection. For those unaware of Burgess’ relevance to the game, he would seem little more than a gigantic ball of northern muscle and brawn, but his impact on English Rugby League has been huge. Burgess appeared 88 times for Bradford bulls before his move to Australia, where, on his 95th Performance for the Rabbitohs, he won the NRL Trophy. He did all this and still managed to don the white jersey to represent his country on 13 occasions. He’s an undoubtedly impressive physical speci-

men: weighing in at 18st 4lb and standing at 6ft 5 inches, he is indeed titanic, and with such impeccable, raw skills he would indeed be welcome at any club around the world. Stuart Lancaster himself has praised the league forward, come outside centre, for his ‘mental toughness’, following his victorious 80 minute man-of-the-

breakdown itself. As far as Burgess is concerned, as a flanker he has much more of a chance of promotion from the Saxon squad into the first XV than he did at 13 where he is competing with the likes of Jonathan Joseph, Brad Barret, Luther Burrel, Kyle Eastmond, Billy Twelvetrees and Elliot Daly.

match performance in the NRL final, despite fracturing his jaw bone in the opening minutes of the game. Nevertheless, this hard bastard will need a lot more than just muscle and brawn to become accustomed to the mechanics of union. Burgess will need to develop his knowledge and understanding of movement in the backline if he is to compete with the likes of Jamie Roberts or Mathieu Bastareaud on Union’s international stage at centre. Interestingly, Bath coach Mike Ford chose to try the convert at flanker in Bath’s more recent fixtures, where perhaps he is more suited. This decision has been seen by his critics as an admission of Burgess’ lack of union know-how, relying on his obvious physical advantages in terms of the

His obvious physical attributes mean he would have no trouble with the brutal physicality of the world cup; he’s bigger than most back-rowers by no small amount and I’m confident he’d prove to be a dangerous flanker if he were to be named in the England’s 30-man squad. However, as I have already mentioned, Burgess’ lack of experience may prove pivotal in terms of selection, especially when matched up with other players who for years have been mastering their respective union disciplines. He’s played league for so long that on the field his actions almost seem like second nature, however, when put up against the titans of Rugby Union, he will be put to the test. The likes of Richie McCaw and Sam Warburton, both world class back-rowers, possess such extensive experience

“The question on everyone’s lips, however, is whether he will make England’s 30-man squad for the Rugby Union World Cup later this year”

and such talent that, in crucial games, their involvement can be wholly decisive. The challenge for Burgess at Bath is to prove that he can keep up with the rapid mechanics of the breakdown during the intensity of the RWC, whatever his position. However, with only a few months to go until Lancaster names his training squad, time is fast running out for Bur-

gess. Andy Farrell and Jason Robinson have proved it is possible for league converts to impress the union world, and I have no doubt that if he were selected, he would make a difference due to his superior physicality and winning mentality. However, due to lack of experience in either contested position, perhaps it’s too little too late.

Slammin’ Sam touches down against New Zealand in 2013 Photography by Getty Images

The Courier

Monday 18 May 2015

sportbucs&intramural.43

Icy relations Kings face Wildcats in Newcastle’s varsity ice hockey showdown Ice Hockey Preview

By Jack Marley at Whitley Bay Ice Rink

While most of Newcastle’s student population swelter in the claustrophobic heat of the library, the city’s two ice hockey teams are preparing for their annual varsity clash, and relations are frostier than ever. The Courier caught up with both captains rinkside at Whitley Bay in the hope of breaking the ice on this notorious rivalry. The North East Varsity bout arrives every May to treat exam-weary students to a sports event unlike any other. Ice hockey, though still a niche pursuit among UK students, represents one of the most fiercely fought titles in the North East University’s sporting calendar. When the BUCS leagues have broken up and the Stan Calvert chants have long since lulled, the ice hockey varsity remains to offer Northumbria and Newcastle one last snatch at glory. And this year, glory rests on a skate blade. For both the Newcastle Wildcats and the Northumbria Kings, it’s been a season to be proud of. The Kings have led a commendable first foray into division 1, ending it with a comfortable place mid-table. Newcastle aren’t sweating it either. Though a division behind, their A team were only denied second place by goal

difference. The league divide might favour the Poly but it also bestows an enviable underdog status on Newcastle, one that will likely win them the favour of the crowds. That said, the Wildcats aren’t ones to be pushed around and they’re hungry for retribution for last year’s loss. “We’re just going to go out and try not to be intimidated”, Newcastle captain and club president Sam Clarke said. “Last year our focus was on defence but this time around we’ve got really good forward lines and hopefully we’ll be a lot quicker going forward... I think we’ll be able to go out and match them.” Kings captain Adam Perrie meanwhile remained cautious but determined to see his side hold onto varsity bragging rights. “We all feel the pressure- everyone on the team knows how important this is. Both teams want to win badly. Ultimately, we’ll give it our best shot.” Something they could both agree on though was that the face-off on the 24th of May is certain to be a good way to celebrate the end of exams for students both Poly and otherwise, whether they be dedicated followers or newcomers to the sport. “Good excuse for a few beers with friends,” said Adam, while Sam assured us there’s “usually a couple of fights now and then”. For these two and many others play-

ing, there’s also the sobering fact that this will probably be their final varsity duel. Achieving victory here is likely to be a very personal affair on both sides. For the Wildcat ladies though, the game represents an excellent opportunity to double down on the women’s team’s historic premiere season performance which saw them finishing joint second with their cross-city rivals. Assistant captains Kirsty Ballard and Emma Painter will be donning the Wildcat blue and hoping to settle old scores, but not without some trepidation. “Being chosen to play in the varsity is pretty daunting, but it is also a huge honour” Emma admitted. As members of the North’s only allgirl university ice hockey team, they’re used to rising to the challenge, as Kirsty reassured us. “After playing for the B team for the past two seasons, we’re not intimidated at the thought of playing amongst maledominated teams. We’re both really excited, nerves won’t hold us back on the day.” Tickets are on sale now, with all proceeds from Newcastle students being paid directly to the Rainbow Trust, a charity that supports the families of terminally ill children. Ethical Poly bashing, and the last chance to claw credibility from beneath the wreckage of Stan Calvert. For £3, that’s not half bad.

The 2nds turned out to have an attack worthy of the Operating Theatre of Dreams, scoring 46 goals and ending the season on +28 goal difference. At the other end of the league, the Axe Wielding Baboons monkeyed around a little too much, winning just a single game all season. Now for the interesting part, wherein we discuss the exploits of the Courier’s own Josh “Nicho” Nicholson. Though partial to a cheeky Nando’s, there was no chickening out from him or his FC Civille side as they romped to Division

2 victory - a feat that will see them battle it out with the best of the best next season. MLS dropped out of Division 2 as it wasn’t just their linguistic tongues that got tied but their feet too, scoring just four goals and conceding 73, leaving them with a minus 69 goal difference. Not quite as embarrassing as Floresta Parque FC’s valiant effort at the base of Division 3, conceding 70 and failing to put a single ball in the back of the net in a league S.S. Ladzio ran away with. The Wednesday league winners at the

Intra mural paints a pretty picture Intramural Sport Year Review By Alex Hendley

It’s been a busy year for intra mural sport and the Courier’s sports team has been there every step of the way, so, it’s only fitting we bring you a pun-filled breakdown of how everyone got on. Someone call the doctor because the Medics spared no one in their whitewash of the Saturday 11-a-side football with the 1sts and 2nds coming first and second in what turned out to be a football bloodbath.

Both Medics’ teams met twice in special memorial matches Photography by Lexie Barton

top of Division 1 were Boca Seniors, while the points added up for Aftermath FC at the top of Division 2, replacing the relegated Ecosoccer in the elite league. It was a dark day for politics last week if you’re either a Labour supporter or Politic Thistle FC, as the politicians failed to claim their bonuses at the bottom of Division 2, managing to win just once throughout the season. KFC winged their way to Division 3 glory, with Buckminster Fullerene dropping out the other end to be replaced by Boca Tooniors, the best team in Division 4. Finally, spare a thought for poor old Hangover 96, who I guess had a few too many late nights before matches as the prop up the bottom Division with a respectable nine points. In the Len Goodman 7-a-side, Term 1 winners were Shintsha FC and The Silence of the Lahm’s took the Term 2 victory before Term 3 resulted in a title for ManSoc. Over to rugby now, where the Agrics 1sts have stormed the field, winning nine games out of nine and scoring 343 points in the process, beating Armstrong to the league title. The Agrics also toppled the Titans in the cup final 39-7, making them undoubted kings of the metaphorical rugby hill. At the other end, it was silence in court as the Law Blacks came second last with four points, a whole four points more than the miserable Southern Fairies managed to rack up, who also didn’t even score any points. Not going to be northern biased at all, but all I’ll say is that it speaks for itself somewhat. The Agrics also ploughed their way to mixed hockey victory, narrowly pull-

ing ahead atop a league of difficult opponents, much like how a tractor pulls out in front of you and you just can’t get past. Unfortunately for Inspector Clouseau, the Pink Panthers sleuthed their way to the bottom of Group A, behind Biosci, CHS and NUSSC. Group B, meanwhile, had some of the best team names this side of Deportivo Wanka, with the Oral Specialists (the pun game is risky) well and truly getting their teeth into it - running out easy victors and scoring plenty of goals in the process. Further down the group there was a high placed finished for MLS and a mediocre one for Geogsoc, who must have lost their way trying to find the title - someone give them a map please? The Wandering Ponies went even further off track, unable to break into a canter as they won just a solitary game this year, along with the hunger-inducing Eustace Percy Pigs. Finally, Netball, which after the frenzy of the Stan Calvert final, has been declared (by me) the greatest sport of all time. Before I begin, hats off to “Hoops I Did It Again”: hats off to you Archbishops of Banterbury. Time Team uncovered the recipe for success (uncertain as yet whether with or without Tony Robinson) as they took a huge 52 points in their Saturday league, a points total replicated by Medics 1sts in theirs. Meanwhile, the final Saturday league went to the big wigs of Lawyers Netball, who have lost just a single game this year. Hoop Dogs certainly didn’t drop it like it was hot as they took the title in the Wednesday league, with the other midweek fixtures table being topped yet again by Time Team.

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 18 May 2015 Issue 1313 Free

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sports Editors: Peter Georgiev, Jonty Mawer & Huezin Lim Online Sports Editor: Josh Nicholson courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport

The Tyne Boat Race returned after a five-year absence Photography by Sophie Barclay

BUCS: from cover to cover

BUCS Year Review

By Jonty Mawer Alas, the BUCS Season is now over and at last we can return to sanity: the mad hysteria is indeed at an end. Until next year it is time to bid a fond farewell to away days, Wednesday nights, bottles of port, stash, all the frills, and begin our three-month sabbatical. It is, therefore, an apt time to pause for a moment of reflection. The sporting season can be a tumultuous one; an emotional and physical rollercoaster potentially consisting of cavernous lows and gut-wrenching disappointment. The 2014/15 season, however, was, for the most part, a remarkably bright and successful one for most sports, culminating in the highest ever finish that Newcastle has enjoyed in the overall BUCS League Tables. Ranking now at 11th in the country. Team Newcastle can now be classed comfortably alongside the British university elite, a staggering achievement and one that is testament to all the hard work and dedication of all our student athletes and, of course, our omnipotent and omnipresent AU Officer, Mr. Caleb Jones. A job bloody well done, if I don’t say so myself. So, therefore, and in the spirit of smugness, pride and downright supe-

riority, let us at great length recollect some of the highlights of our sporting year. In light of recent events, it seems only fair at this point to celebrate the achievements of our valiant rowers. Last week we witnessed the majesty of our titanic senior crews as they mercilessly blasted our scholarly neighbours Durham out of the water on the mesmeric Tyne.

known for its choppy conditions. Combined with a superb head season, the promising results at the BUCS Regatta have meant that the NUBC has finished the year as one of the country’s to rowing outfits, a truly awesome achievement given the level of competition in which they have partaken. All in all, it has been a sterling effort. The accolades for our student athletes,

very proud of themselves. In addition to this, our Women’s 1st team volleyballers were also triumphant in their Northern 1A League and the Women’s basketball team won the double, finishing first in both the league and the cup. Moreover, our Netball second team won their Northern 2B League and were runners up in the Northern Conference Cup. These are truly sensational

The gulf in power and class was truly astounding, making for wonderful exhibition of technically astute rowing from the boys and girls in red, blue and white. Though an excellent achievement in itself, victory in the Boat Race of the North was but the sweetest cherry on an otherwise thoroughly delicious cake for the NUBC. The weekend before the boat race, the crews took to the water in Nottingham for the BUCS Regatta and proved themselves more than equal to the nation’s other top rowing universities. Finishing second overall with a terrific 18 Medals, including three golds, Newcastle performed brilliantly and with great composure on a course well

however, do not end here. Our Women’s 1st team tennis players, for example, enjoyed an unbeaten season in their Northern 1A league. These women have been example to all sportsmen. This year in terms of their performances, their dedication and their consistency. Speaking to the Courier earlier this week, Captain Sian Bayliss championed the “amazing spirit” of her team and congratulated them on an historic season. In particular she cited the tremendous work done by Danielle Pym and Natasha Mejzner, both first team stalwarts, without whom none of this would have been possible. All those here mentioned, and the rest of women’s Tennis Team should be

achievements. In Rugby Union, the Men’s 4th XV also achieved a double, winning the Northern 4B League and the Northern Conference Cup. In addition to this, both the 1st and the 3rd XV finished as runners up in their respective cup competitions. The University rugby circuit is a highly competitive one and the players and coaching staff of the NURFC have performed admirably throughout the year. Furthermore, our footballers have also enjoyed an unprecedented level of success this season. The first XI, under the stewardship and captaincy of Jack Taylor, this year gave themselves an excellent chance of promotion, reaching the

“The 2014/15 season was, for the most part, a remarkably bright and successful one for most sports, culminating in the highest ever finish that Newcastle has enjoyed in the overall BUCS League Tables at 11th in the country”

SPORTING TRAGEDIES P.40

FINAL CLASH ON ICE P.43

playoffs of the Premier North Division. Though they were ultimately unsuccessful in their goal, it gives the growing club a platform from which to build next season. Solace can however be found in their recent cup form where they enjoyed the sweet taste of victory. Our male fencers also had league success marginally snatched away from them, losing out to Oxford on points difference. Despite the lack of silverware, the fencing team has had a brilliant year, particularly marked by their staggering performance in the Stan Calvert where they really did put the Poly to the sword. In summary, we as a university have a great deal to be proud of in terms of our sporting performance this year. The woes of Stan Calvert will undoubtedly live long in the memory. However, this blow has been made softer by glorious success elsewhere. All we can do now is bid our sportsmen and women the most restful of summers and wish them all the best in their preparations for next season. In terms of sport in 2016, you may ask, “what is our aim?” and the reply shall forever remain, “Victory, victory at all costs; victory, in spite of all terror; victory no matter how long or hard the road may be because, without victory, there is no survival”. The sporting year in pictures: p.40

INTRA MURAL ROUND-UP P.43