Courier 1310

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 27 April 2015 Issue 1310 Free

GIFT GUIDE How to make the INSIDE THE NUS CONFERENCE BLIND DATE He wrote a song for most of your 21st Three days of communism, Twitter feuds The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students

Fashion, p. 22 and bureaucracy beside the Mersey p.15

Uni edges closer toward universal ReCap policy

Est 1948

her. No, really p.17

Campaign for opt-out system gathers momentum among staff Majority of lecturers are slowly coming round to student demands to ReCap from HaSS lecturers.

Moving to an opt-out system would be likely to encourage more staff Staff opinions are divided over to use ReCap, and Morris and the the provision of ReCap, according Steering Group are trying to promote to a survey by The Courier. the benefits of ReCap. The University’s Despite repeated student requests ReCap Policy states: “The University for the lecture capture service to be strongly encourages all staff to record more widely available, many staff lectures wherever possible.” However, remain opposed to the technology. use of the technology is not compulsory, Many staff responded to the survey and Philip Bradley, former chair of the with praise for the benefits of ReCap, but ReCap Steering Group and Head of the a large number of staff voiced concerns School of Medical Education, said: “We about aspects of the software, with some have always made it optional for staff ”.

Morris has visited academic schools to expressing complete opposition to it.

Since the University first introduced discuss the issues they have raised with ReCap in an attempt ReCap in 2007 “The University to correct some of the the software has been used by an strongly encourages misconceptions about it. “My job is to make increasing number all staff to record all the evidence as of lecturers, with as possible,” he 202 teaching rooms lectures wherever clear explained, adding that fitted with ReCap some of the reasons recording equipment. possible” staff oppose ReCap Two thirds of the University’s 24 academic schools are based on inaccurate assumptions.

Despite this, The Courier’s survey now automatically record all lectures, unless the lecturer chooses to opt out. reveals that staff are still divided over Over the past year David Morris, the issue, although Carol Summerside Education Officer for the Students’ from the Learning and Teaching Union, has been working closely with Development Service said: “I would the ReCap Steering Group, who are say that there was far less divided responsible for the strategic future of opinion than when we first started.”

One of the most frequent arguments ReCap. Together they hope to move all schools to an opt-out system, although against ReCap is the perceived effect it this has yet to be approved by ULTSEC, would have on attendance. Although the committee responsible for the most of the evidence suggests that University’s educational development. recording lectures has a minimal Currently all schools in the Faculty impact on attendance – and could of Medical Sciences and all but two in even increase it – many staff worry that the Faculty of Science, Agriculture and fewer students would go to lectures if Engineering are opt-out, but only four they knew they could watch them later.

Several members of staff reported schools out of the nine in the Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences in the survey that attendance (HaSS) require their staff to opt out. did suffer, “despite denials from This reflects the greater resistance Continued on page 7

By Mark Sleightholm News Editor

Having a ruff time of it: Law school hands out dogs to stressed library-dwellers p. 5

Newcastle vs. Durham ‘Boat Race of the North’ to return after five year hiatus

By Tom Nicholson Editor The Boat Race of the North, contested by the oarspeople of the Newcastle Uni Boat Club and their counterparts at Durham between 1997 and 2010, is set to be revived on 9 May. Crews representing the men’s and women’s elite teams and the men’s and women’s novice teams will compete across four races, racing on a 1.5km course from Redheugh Bridge (near the Metro Arena) to just beyond the Millennium Bridge.

NUBC Publicity Officer Ed Munno, the driving force behind the boat race’s comeback, told the Courier: “We met earlier this year, about the end of January, and just talked it over – we started doing Throwback Thursday with the clubs, and one thing we dug up was a 2006 documentary from ITV [about the Newcastle-Durham boat race].

“After we put that out, we then got talking and a couple of alumni said it’d be great to get this restarted and we thought well what’s stopping us so we kind of against a lot of people’s reservations – ‘Oh it’s been tried every

year, it won’t work’ – we kind of thought well, no, we’ll give it a go.

“Hopefully it’s going to be reinstated as an annual competition. For the guys running the show next year, its going to be a kind of off-the-shelf thing, so if this one goes successfully then there’s no reason why we shouldn’t start work on the next one straight away, and make sure it’s even bigger and even more successful.

“We should definitely be hoping for some very good racing on the Tyne and I think there’ll be some scores to settle between the squads.”

2

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NEWS

4 9

Third years appear on Pointless

This weekend saw the triumphant return of the second annual Mind the Gap conference in Newcastle University Students’ Union. For a whole day, Newcastle students and guests engaged with insightful workshops, informative and entertaining speakers, and all-day wellbeing, information, and fighting misconception sessions.

Throughout the day, several sessions in all categories were conducted in various venues throughout the Students’ Union. Guests of the conference could choose to attend one that best attended to their interest in the field of mental health, stigma and raising awareness of mental health issues on a national level.

Despite this, two keynote speakers appeared on the event schedule and their talks were attended by nearly all visitors of the conference – comedian Dave Chawner, who opened the event with his talk on battling eating disorders with the help of comedy, and musician

What’s the point of the NUS?

CULTURE Inside the NUS National Conference Blind Date: Lucas meets Lauren How to look chic at graduation

News Editors: Antonia Velikova, Kate Dewey and Mark Sleightholm Online News Editor: Ashley Williams courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News

By Antonia Velikova News Editor

COMMENT

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Second Mind the Gap conference challenges mental health stigma

RockSoc charity night rakes in donations

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Monday 27 April 2015

talks. A Quiet Room was set up on the Level 1 lounge of the Students’ Union, where those that need it could catch a break with some refreshments in a calm, relaxed atmosphere. Another all-day activity was the Sensory Room, providing an insight into the feeling of having adverse reactions to unexpected sensations. In addition was the Mental Health Fayre, where several University societies and local charities took part to promote their activities surrounding ending mental health prejudice.

Other attractions were the Media Room and the art installation by local artist Bobzilla, emphasising on the singularity and uniqueness of different people, represented with colourful records. Following the conference, Bobzilla’s artwork will be permanently installed in NUSU Central.

Between Chawner and Shah’s talks, the so-called “Knowledge Sessions” took place, with insightful and informative discussion on treatment of psychiatric disorders and lesser-known mental is-

“Suicide is the leading cause of death for men aged between 25 - 40” Top: Therapy through art. Middle: Keynote speaker Nadine Shah. Bottom right: Mind The Gap poster.

Bottom left: Keynote speaker Dave Chawner. Images: Antonia Velikova and Sophie Norris

Stop moan-­ ing about Kanye at Glasto, he’s mint

Build your own gaming computer

Whale of the week

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Nadine Shah, who delivered a vivid personal account on her experiences with facing mental illness and how it inspired her music and her current nation-wide awareness campaigns.

In his opening talk, Dave Chawner talked about his upcoming show, concerning his experiences with anorexia.

“I don’t want people to treat me differently because I have anorexia,” Chawner shared. “In my last show I outlined how I’d had anorexia. It was an extremely difficult show to write because I didn’t really want to offend anyone but I just love the ability comedy has to reach people and I wanted to use that.”

Combining comedy with earthshattering truths about eating disorders and attitudes towards sufferers.

Chawner introduced the conference on a light-hearted note that many people found inspiring and engaging. Later on, Chawner also got involved in a debate with those interested to continue the discussion on misconceptions around mental health with men, revealing the shocking statistic that suicide is the leading cause of death for men aged between 25-40.

The organisers from Mind the Gap society at Newcastle University, in partnership with the Welfare and Equality team, had considered that many of those attending may need a break from the tough issues discussed in the

Editor Tom Nicholson News Editors Antonia Velikova, Kate Dewey, Mark Sleightholm and Ashley Williams Comment Editors Victoria Armstrong, Matt Corden and Ruth Davis Culture Editor Kate Bennett Lifestyle Editors Tom Tibble, Annie Lord, Jack Dempsey and Holly Suttle Fashion Editors Amy O’Rourke, Hannah Fitton and Hannah Goldstein Beauty Editors Charlotte Davies, Charlotte Maxwell and Kathy Davidson Arts Editors Becka Crawshaw, Lucy Chenery and Jess Harman Film Editors David Leighton, Rosie Bellini and George Smith Music Editors Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison TV Editor Helen Daly, Ellie Mclaren and Rebecca Dooley Gaming Editors Sophie Baines and Ben Tyrer Science Editors Penny Polson, Laura Staniforth and Jack Marley Sports Editors Jonty Mawer, Peter Georgiev, Huezin Lim and Josh Nicholson Copy Editors Megan Ayres and Emma Broadhouse

sues such as Body Dysmorphic Disorder, presented by experts in the field of neuroscience and psychiatry.

Nadine Shah’s talk was delivered to a packed audience at The Venue. The North East born musician delivered an emotional account about how the deaths of three young men acted as a wake-up call to her and showed her how important awareness of mental issues is.

“I never thought I had anything important to talk about or sing about until the death of my close friend Stuart,” Shah said in her talk. “He was suffering from bipolar [disorder] and a lot of his close friends, including myself, didn’t realise that until they attended his funeral.” She pointed out that she entirely disagrees with the sentiment that nothing could have been done for those who had taken their own lives as a result of their mental illness and encouraged everyone to be candid and open, to educate themselves and to do everything they can to help their friends and loved ones.

The conference ended with more talks and workshops such as mental health in fiction and healthcare, misconceptions around self-harm, using art as therapy and many other interactive activities that helped all attendees gain a better understanding of mental health issues.

Once again, Mind the Gap destroys the stigma against mental illness and promotes solidarity and understanding.

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s comment pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

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Monday 27 April 2015

Giving a dam: Civil Engineering degree takes students to Borneo

By Joe Rooms During the Easter break a group of 22 Civil Engineering students and two staff travelled to the remote jungles of northern Malaysian Borneo in order to construct a pair of gravity fed water systems, with two communities native to the region.

The simple system in question was described by Courtney Stribley, fourth year Civil Engineering student who participated in the projects, as: “pipes stuck together (a water system) that lets water flow naturally down a hill (gravity fed) without any pumps”.

The trip formed part of an assessed module and was a culmination of six months of work designing, training and fundraising to take part in the expedi-

ing to unforeseen problems often with great resourcefulness. They ultimately seem to gain confidence in their own abilities”.

The communities that the students visited suffer from a lack of infrastructure because of their isolated locations.

One of the communities had received a clean water supply in the past but, due to poor engineering, the pipe was ruptured underneath a heavily trafficked road. The water they were subsequently forced to drink was from a polluted river and this was beginning to have adverse effects on the villager’s health.

Chemical hungry palm oil plantations bring much needed employment, thus development, to the area, but water pollution is an unfortunate side effect.

The students and the community worked together on the building of a

“We learnt how to play the gong xylophone, beat away pigs that are trying to eat your shit, and jump into a 15 man spoon every night” tion. The project was completed as a result of a partnership between Newcastle University and Raleigh International.

The latter of which is a charity and broker of a range of such projects, and is a popular provider of gap year schemes and summer placements.

The projects undertaken by the Civil Engineering students were part of the range of schemes aiding the Millenium Development Goals (MDGs). The MDGs are eight international goals designed as part of the United Nations in 2000 which aim to tackle international issues such as poverty, education, and gender equality. This particular project sought to improve sanitation and water supply, aligning with the MDGs relating to universal safe drinking water, basic sanitation and a number of others including, disease reduction and improving child mortality.

Despite these aims, the primary purpose of such projects is education. Jean Hall, module leader for the project, told The Courier: “they [the students] all learn a lot about themselves, from basic practical skills e.g. concreting to adapt-

Image: Olivia Williams

concrete dam which necessitated the laying of the pipe through the undergrowth, over cliff faces, across valleys and at its end installing taps.

“The days were long, we tried to complete most of the manual labour in the early hours to avoid the heat of the sun” said Graeme Barella, final year Civil Engineering student. He described the manual labour and explained that the living conditions were also testing: “We slept shoulder to shoulder in our only living area and cooked our food with the ever present monkey tied up in the corner”. Courtney added: “It was pretty hot and humid, about a million degrees perhaps. We slept with fifteen to one small room, but we were so sweaty, even when sleeping, we didn’t stick to the person next to us and ate a variety of sometimes unidentifiable tinned delicacies”. Both students agreed that these short term hardships resulted in a learning experience far beyond that of a lecture.

Having acclimatised to the conditions, both environmental and domestic, the project offered a fresh perspective, as

one student, Sam Robson, fourth year Civil Engineering, remarked: “most of the things I held as valuable before I went are unnecessary. Even in the simplest way of living, I could be happy”.

The learning experience, which the students agreed, developed their communication and leadership skills also provided them with a rather unique skill set, as Rory Burke commented: “[We learnt] how to play the gong xylophone (badly), cut a tree with a novelty sized knife, sweat but not smell, beat away pigs that are trying to eat your shit, and jump into a 15 man spoon every night”.

The surroundings of the villages were isolated, idyllic, Shangri-la esque locations, as Jack English, one of the students who travelled to Borneo said: “nestled one and a half hours trek away from the nearest dirt road was Minisulang, a small self sustained village spanning across two sides of a densely vegetated valley. To reach it, a path, no wider than the width of the ankles of a size zero model, was cut into the dense jungle until you reached a stream in its upper course which led you, winding its way around the mountains, to the village.”

A sentiment echoed by fellow student Rory: “during early morning starts mist would gather in the valleys, leaving green hilltops proud of a lazily churning ocean”.

However, the isolated and rippling environment became a hindrance for one of the groups: “the gentle gradient, undulating ground and the lack of internet access almost ruined the project”, said Pete Morris.

Gravity water systems rely on having enough height difference between the dam and users. In this case the small variance coupled with air intrusion blocking water flow pushed the project to its final afternoon. The problem was solved and Pete told The Courier: “within one hour my mood switched from utter dejection to complete euphoria, honestly it felt like I achieved enlightenment”.

The outcome of both projects was a success, the students were given an opportunity to put their theoretical skills into practice and they can now begin lengthy, dry stories with “Oh yah, well when I was in Borneo…”

Image: Michael Darby

Image: Rory Burke

The completed dam. Image: Pete Morris

Image: Caroline Morton

4.news

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Trip to the capital proves to be Pointless

vide the most obscure solution to the questions they’re presented with.

So how did Newcastle students Al Two Newcastle University students be- and Lucas perform? “The show itself came overnight celebrities during the was tough. We sailed through the first Easter holidays following their appear- couple of rounds - US states and Engance on popular BBC game show Point- lish literature, which saw Lucas really less. embarrass himself.

Al Bell and Lucas Abbott, both third “However we met our match in the year students, applied to be on the show head-to-head when the question catin their first year, forgot about it, then egory was “Crustaceans.” I thought Krill got the surprising call early on in their was our safe bet against the other teams’ second year..

Barnacles, but my hubris got the bet“I think we may have been drunk,” ter of me and I went for “Sand Hermit”.

Al, a Politics student, explains. “They Sand Hermit turned out to be wrong, obviously liked us, and we were invited and I was told (too late by now) that down to London for filming - all paid Krill would have won us the points.” for including the A tremendous grim old Premier disappointment, “We met our match in no doubt. “It Inn they chucked the head-to-head when haunts me to this us in for the night.”

Al confesses. the question category day, Despite the “Especially seeing was ‘Crustaceans’” Premier Inn, he as the final £4000 describes the exquestion was on perience as thoroughly enjoyable and rock ‘n’ roll bands, which I can say I maybe a little bit surreal. would have smashed.”

“Filming itself was fun,” Al rememWhen it aired, Al, now in his third bers. “I’m 6ft 1 but Richard Osman year, said that he thought it was fun to made me feel like an ant. He’s huge! observe how people reacted to it.

But he and Xander [Armstrong] are re“When it was finally broadcast, by ally nice fellas, and made time to get to now third year, I found it funny to check know everyone before filming.”

Twitter’s #Pointless during the show, Pointless started airing on BBC Two which was briefly trending.” in 2009 and was subsequently moved Audiences can be ruthless, though, as to BBC One in 2011. So far there have Al discovered on Twitter: “I was disapbeen 12 series including six celebrity pointed to learn that while the tweets specials. Hosted by Alexander Arm- mainly highlighted how sexy/dapper/ strong with faithful “sidekick” Richard stoned-looking Lucas was, the rest of Osman, the format of the show has been them drew attention to the fact that I exported to other countries as well. am - apparently - the döppelganger of The four teams on the game feature Richard Osman,” Al says. “Only with a two contestants and the point is to not “funnier chin”. Thanks, viewing public.” only give correct answers, but to pro-

By Antonia Velikova News Editor

A POINTLESS EXPERIENCE: Al was told that he looks just like Richard Osman, “only with a funnier chin.” Image: Al Bell

Trainee architects redesign campus scheme last year but has stayed on with the Estates Support Service, explained that most of the projects they are inFour architecture students have been volved with are either requests from working with the University Estates academic schools or improvement proSupport Service to help develop parts jects. “Most of them don’t really require design expertise,” he said, “but if they of campus.

In order to become fully qualified ar- do, we get them.”

Most architecture courses last for chitects, students are required to undertake a year-long work placement. Many seven years, including placements, and students go to large architecture firms, James, Andrew and Autumn have all including ones located in London, but completed the first three-year degree these four students have been able to se- which forms Part One. After Part Two students gain further practical expericure a place much closer to home.

For three years they have welcomed ence.

Georgina Robson is architecture students at this stage, having into the department, to “You get a studied at Northumgive the students valuabroad spread bria University. As an ble practical experience and to create closer stuof experience. I assistant planner, she focuses on learning and dent involvement with planning how the Uni- wouldn’t choose teaching spaces and anything else” aims to “lift the design versity will look in the quality” of them. future.

Not only does their architectural Autumn Colledge has been involved in redesigning the Claremont Road en- knowledge help to enhance the design trance to Claremont Tower, adding in of campus redevelopments, their expesteps and improving the appearance of rience as students offers a different perthe ramp. She is also hoping to intro- spective for the Estates Support Service.

The students feel that the Estates Supduce some screening next to the ramp, as part of a wider project to make the port Service value their opinions and agree that the scheme has been imporcampus greener.

Meanwhile Andrew Nelson has tri- tant in shaping the design of campus alled four new chair designs for use in developments in the three years it has the Medical School, which he describes been running.

Although this work placement is just as “collaborative seating – chairs that move about the room with tablets on or one part of their journey to becoming without tablets... it’s on consultation at qualified architects, all four students are the minute in the Medical School recep- enjoying it. James said: “You get a broad spread of experience,” and Autumn contion.”

James Morton, who was part of the cluded, “I wouldn’t chose anything else.”

By Mark Sleightholm News Editor

The Courier

news.5

Monday 27 April 2015

Feeling ruff? Law society provides revision paws

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be a good place to start. The support of Dr Beuermann and the Law School has been really valuable as we’ve put the Last week, the Newcastle University week together.

Law School and Eldon Society joined “We’ve had loads of great events: together to hold the first ‘Health and yoga, massage, arts and crafts, and my Wellbeing Week’ to increase awareness personal favourite: our De-Stress with about stress and mental health.

Dogs session. We arranged for a numThis week comprised of a series of five ber of staff and students to bring in their main events, as well as having mental dogs from home, so our members could health professionals present to provide come along to meet the dogs. advice and drop-in clinics. Free herbal “Studies have shown that playing with tea and healthy snacks were also avail- dogs can have really positive de-stressable throughout the week. ing effects, and we had a really good The week began with ‘De-Stress with turnout. We also ran a Mental Health Dogs’ on Monday, an opportunity for Myth Busting session, which was a great students to play with way to start a converdogs and puppies outsation about mental “Playing with side of the Law School. health and how it’s handogs can have dled in the Law School.

Next, free massage sessions were provided for really positive de“However, as fun as stressed-out students. the arts and craft and On Wednesday, an stressing effects” yoga sessions have been, informal and confidenI hope our biggest imtial panel was held focusing on ‘Mental pact has been starting a discussion Health Myth-Busting’, aided by mem- about mental health in the Law School. bers of NUSU’s Mind the Gap Society, The response from our members has which also aims to raise mental health been really great, and I hope there are awareness. This was followed by a free many more welfare events in the future.” yoga class on Thursday and ‘De-Stress All the events attracted good turnwith Arts and Crafts’ on Friday. outs. Law student Caroline Sherwood When asked what the motivation be- commented: “I think mental health is a hind such a week was, Calum Redhead, growing issue for students, so it was a Eldon Society President and one of the great idea to hold an event focused enweek’s principle organisers, responded: tirely on promoting awareness.”

“We’ve wanted to put a renewed focus The Eldon Society’s Welfare Officer, on welfare in the Law School for some Jonathan Bowen, who co-organised the time and a dedicated Health and Well- event, stated: “The week has been inbeing Week seemed like a good way to credibly successful. We’ve had a lot of get our members involved. engagement with students and offered “We have worked closely with Dr some great information on combating Christine Beuermann, a lecturer and stress. Overall, I think this week has Welfare Officer at the Law School, and really encouraged students to be more she suggested that mental health would open about mental health”.

60$6+,1* 35(-8',&( 3KRWRV IURP WKH À OP SUHPLHUH DW WKH 7\QHVLGH &LQHPD Images: Mike Urwin

the problem is clear, and much is being done to remove the stigma around what is now becoming an everyday issue.

Mind the Gap had their conference Mental health issues now affect one in four of us over the course of our lives. on Saturday and they have also used the Last week saw the return of Newcastle avenue of a short film to make students University’s ‘Mind The Gap’ conference aware that they are not alone. Charlotte which aims to break down the scepti- Maxwell, President of Mind The Gap, cal views and stigma surrounding ill- has suggested: “More films that depict nesses like bipolar disorder. Alongside mental health in its true state and conthe conference, a promotional video tinue to disprove the misconceptions has been released this year in conjunc- are very much needed. Mind the Gap tion with local charity Moving Forward have made a couple of short films this year to kick start the concept on campus Newcastle.

The film aims to inform those who and we’re pleased to see the uni engagsuffer in silence about the existence of ing with a similar concept.”

As interior illnesses showing no physishared decision making (SDM) in mensymptoms it tal health treat“I now understand that cal is easy to write ments. Many of I have a responsibility someone with a the more extreme and debilitating and duty of care towards mental health issue off as ‘just depressive illnesses render those making myself better, as having a bad or that they suffering unable well as understanding week’ ‘need to get a grip’. to make clear, dimy options” Recent figures rect decisions. show those who Further to this aid, bipolar disorder, for instance, has suffer from mental health issues such as a lot of stigma surrounding it and a depression have a lower life expectancy vast number of people ‘suffer in silence’, than those who smoke.

SDM gives those who feel they might something which the video and SDM aim to eradicate. Dr Darren Flynn, a not have a voice a chance to have raSenior Research Associate and Practi- tional thought on an illness they might tioner at the University has said: “Em- not even understand themselves. One powering people with mental health of Moving Forward Newcastle’s own problems to make informed decisions service users has said of the video and about the treatment that is right for SDM, “Since being involved in the film them as individuals is an important part my attitudes towards my mental health has changed. I now understand that I of the recovery process.”

The current election campaign has have a responsibility and duty of care seen the NHS mental health services towards making myself better, as well as become a central concern, with men- understanding my options. I hope our tal health issues costing the country experiences will change the attitudes of around £100 billion a year. The scale of others.”

By Iqra Choudhry

Mental health film encourages self-care

By Josh Nicholson

The Courier

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Monday 27 April 2015

Attendance, copyright and blended learning: ReCap debate Responses to the survey “In the first place, a History lecture is very much a performance. The atmosphere, the spontaneity, and the gestures are all missing from recap and this seems to me to make for a much diminished experience for students. Listening to a lecture on recap is like listening to a recording of a live pop concert - much is lost.”

“It is an excellent tool in lecturebased modules; it benefits students who cannot attend for health reasons and it is valuable for the whole cohort at revision stage. I have found no evidence that it affects attendance to a significant degree.”

“I have statistics from my own lecture attendance to show that it does indeed negatively affect attendance.”

“Generations of University students have faired perfectly well for years without needing audio repeats of their lectures. Its availability is leading to a more lax attitude to good note taking.”

“I recognise it could be particularly helpful to students who have missed lectures or who struggle to keep up, perhaps due to language problems.”

“Students appear to find it useful.”

“Useful tool for students to go over sections of a lecture that they may not have been fully attentive.”

“As academics all we have are our ideas and my work should be regarded as a form of intellectual property.

I am very good at what I do, but it is because I work hard preparing.”

“Maybe students participate in lectures more if they know they don’t have to write loads of notes but can listen and join in, then return to content later if needed later?”

“ReCap is beneficial for teaching staff on co-taught modules, for listening to what previous staff have covered and to get a better idea of what the students should already know. I believe this helps to maximise class time.”

“Do note that ReCap is spelt like that!

It has a capital C in the middle. It’s a name, not the word you would find in the dictionary. If you spell it without the capital C, you look bad - as there are signs in every lecture room with the correct spelling in them...”

“It has destroyed the art of note taking.”

“I support it because it saves me time: students who missed a lecture simply go to ReCap and Blackboard.

No lengthy explanations required.

It’s also a useful tool for transparency purposes: what was said/not said (e.g. information about assessment) is there for all students to see/hear.”

“I believe it is a way to allow/incite students not to attend lectures/seminars...

Besides, it is a tool of espionage and eventually a type of substitute to staff.”

Continued from front management”, although many others reported no effect on attendance.

The ReCap Steering Group also pointed out that lots of factors affect attendance, and that less than 10% of students cite ReCap as the reason they did not attend lectures. Timetabling, student workloads, the quality of teaching and even the weather can all greatly impact attendance at lectures.

Morris said: “There are some members of staff that ReCap a lot and their attendance is the same, if not sometimes better, than other members of staff who don’t ReCap. There’s no correlation between lecture capture and attendance that’s strong enough to warrant it as a legitimate reason for not lecture capturing.”

Low attendance is a problem even for staff who do not use ReCap, and since this appears to be due to other factors the ability of students to watch lectures they missed may actually improve their performance. Many respondents to the survey noted the benefits of ReCap to students who missed lectures through illness. Bradley believes that many of the students who use ReCap as an excuse for not attending would have struggled to attend anyway.

Staff who ReCap their lectures can see if students have viewed the recordings, making it possible for them to monitor digital attendance, even if the number of students in the physical lecture theatre decreases.

Many students make their own recordings of lectures that are not ReCapped anyway, through phones or voice recorders. Regardless of the legal status of this, these recordings are entirely outside of the control of both the lecturer and the University, compared to the heavily monitored ReCap system.

According to some responses to the survey, many members of staff view lectures as a performance and feel that students benefit from attending in person. As one lecturer put it, however, “Students pay a lot of money – it is right to allow them to make their own choices regarding how they learn. They are the customer!”

One lecturer said: “I don’t think that its implementation has led to a reduction in lecture attendance as ReCap does not capture all that is covered in the lecture, e.g. that written on a whiteboard.” This highlights one of the areas the ReCap

Steering Group are aiming to improve on: currently, as Phil Ansell, Chair of the Steering Group, notes, ReCap is not appropriate for all styles of teaching.

Anne Preston is a researcher at SOLE Central, part of a network of SelfOrganised Learning Environments that also includes the work of Newcastle University’s Professor Sugata Mitra.

They work on developing new methods of teaching that often involve high levels of interactivity known as ‘blended learning’. Preston was unsure of the use ReCap could have for this style of teaching, noting, “there’s a lot more that goes on” than just a lecturer standing at the front of a class. If blended learning became more common ReCap may no longer have a use.

“Allow students to make their own choices regarding how they learn. They are the customer!”

The ReCap Steering Group disagree with this view. They predict that lectures will change dramatically over the coming years, but believe that ReCap can help to shape the future of teaching. Summerside emphasises how the flexible nature of Newcastle’s ReCap system allows it to be used in innovative ways. For example, lecturers could record short videos for students to watch in their own time, in addition to the standard timetabled hours.

“Many students make their own recordings of lectures” For the time being, one of the key benefits of ReCap for students is its use as a revision resource. However, for many HaSS lecturers this is part of the problem they have with ReCap, since they feel that access to recorded lectures would encourage students to focus exclusively on them – as one lecturer put it, they might think “that they can just ‘learn’ the lectures to pass the exams”. Instead staff would like students to see lectures as a “starting point” for their own independent study. One response said: “I would

“I think it would be useful at the end of a module for revision.”

Leila Nashef

prefer them to spend an hour reading round the subject of a lecture rather than listening to the lecture a second time: they would learn far more.”

Copyright is another cause for concern for many lecturers. Morris has tried to educate staff on the law surrounding the use of copyrighted materials for educational purposes, and the University’s ReCap policy clearly explains that performance rights for the lecture itself rest with the lecturer.

Despite assurances in the policy that lectures will only be made available to students taking that module, some staff voiced concerns that “Recaped [sic] sessions can find their way to places we did not intend, where the lecturer has no control over them.”

The survey reveals a high level of distrust of the University amongst many members of staff. The University’s ReCap Policy explicitly states “recordings will not be used for staff performance management purposes” and that it “will not replace student contact hours”.

Several staff used the survey to raise their concerns that ReCap could be used to monitor them or even replace them.

Other responses were more sentimental, with lectures lamenting the decline of note taking skills and even suggesting that not attending lectures would make students less sociable.

Morris believes that educating staff on ReCap can have an effect, but said: “For some members of staff [education] will work, but for the ones that are giving reasons which aren’t hugely genuine i.e. they just don’t want to use [ReCap], it won’t work and there’s not much you can do other than show the student voice.”

He continued: “There’ll be a small minority of staff who won’t use it at all.”

The survey shows that there is no single reason why staff oppose ReCap, and even if staff can be reassured over issues of copyright or attendance, universities are unlikely to ever see universal lecture capture. Several staff commented that once they spoke to students about their objections to ReCap, students usually agreed with them.

Newcastle was one of the first universities in the country to use lecture capture software, and uses the technology more widely than most other universities. Nevertheless, students expecting all lectures to be automatically recorded are likely to be disappointed for a little time to come.

“We have the technology so why aren’t we using it?”

Helen Daly

What do you think of the drive to make ReCap an optout system for lecturers?

“It’s super useful because “I don’t particularly it means you can catch up care if they think that on those few minutes in other students will show the hour when you zone up less as a result; why out - or in lectures when should that mean that the lecturer is rattling off I miss a lecture because facts really quickly.”

I’m ill or can’t quite Penny Polson catch all the points during it, that I’m not “I’ve been in a position where I’ve had to miss a lot allowed the benefit of of lectures for health reasons and it really does help.”

ReCap?” Laura Staniforth Victoria Armstrong “I think it’s a brilliant idea, however it does encourage

Responses to the survey “Given the increasing control of corporates (such as those producing software for universities) on education, it is very important to be aware of the dangers of the use of such technology. Students should themselves be wary of being used as tools in attempts to popularize very expensive software and technology which might restrict what students can learn and lecturers can teach.”

“It would probably cramp my style of delivery and that is not a good thing.”

“Every lecture or seminar is (or ought to be) a unique, shared experience for both the lecturer and the student; reducing that dynamic to a recording misses the entire point of university education.”

“It reduces the communal aspect of learning which is so valuable and important. It reduces socialbility among the students. The students repeat what you say, sometimes word for word, in their exams, showing that learning through ReCap diminishes self-directed learning.”

“I was initially worried that it would lead to students parroting back lecture material in essays but this has not been my experience: students re“There’ll main diligent and thoughtful.be a However, there are a few real downsmall minority sides: Firstly, it is one more piece of of staff technology to worry about. Iwho want to think about lecture materialuse and the won’t students in front of me, not potential tech failures.” ReCap at all” “Because the University owns the recording and theoretically could use it to replace me as a lecturer.”

“The use of ReCap allows student flexibility in where and when they access lecture material. It supports students with disability or those who for valid reasons are not able to attend ‘live’ lectures. ReCap is valuable to students at revision time and access to ReCap lectures supports our students on international campuses.”

“There are security concerns: what if ReCap lectures were hacked and ended up on the internet?”

“I do think there is a genuine danger of students selectively attending in person on the basis of listening in at home. This amounts to learning in a vacuum which, in my experience, is an inferior form of learning.”

“It ... removes the excuse that we haven’t covered a topic when they get the exam.”

“My students get extensive handouts for every single lecture plus ppt when appropriate, all available on Blackboard in advance. So, no need to ReCap. ReCap is in any case a false safety net: you need to be there, and - crucially - take notes: there is scientific evidence that this is the best way to take info on board. Students no longer want to take notes, something I never understand. If you could persuade them to change this one thing, they’d do better all round.”

“In the end, the students are adults, and they seem to like it.”

8.news

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Study aims to get lifeboats into ship shape

By Jack Parker

BOATS SO SIMPLE: Newcastle team look to improve the design of lifeboats. Image: Adrian Don

A team from Newcastle University has been involved in a major study in challenging the approach to designing allweather lifeboats. The study has taken place in conjunction with the Royal National Lifeboat Institution and maritime agency Lloyd’s Register.

The study aims to evaluate and find out how advances in technology, materials and approaches can be used to improve the design and operation of the RNLI’s Severn Class lifeboat, a common sight along the coastlines of the UK. The project, which will take four years to carry out, also aims to try and create an improved and safer working environment for the RNLI’s crews, who volunteer to save lives at sea.

Richard Birmingham, Professor of Small Craft Design in the School of Marine Science and Technology and the Principal Investigator on the project, said of the project: “The ability to safely perform at high speed and in extreme conditions is not only imperative for the safety of the volunteer crew but also has a direct effect on the efficiency and reliability of the search and rescue service.

“Designing a boat that is capable of travelling safely at greater speed and under the most extreme conditions, means a better response to emergency call-outs and less transit time to reach the casualty.” W The aspect of safety is a key driver of the project, and is supported by Lloyds’

Register, one of the leading global maritime classification society and engineering consultancy providers. As part of the project team, Lloyd’s register will be on hand to provide their expert assistance, as well as team members like a third party adviser and peer reviewer, and assisting the team draw up new guidelines for lifeboat design and operation.

Jesus Mediavilla Varas, Lead Specialist of Lloyd’s Register’s Strategic Research and Technology and Policy Group said: “Lloyd’s Register has been committed to improving the safety standards of operation of vessels at sea for more than 250 years. This project will help to de-risk the operation of lifeboats, by improving the current knowledge, and potentially contribute to further improve our special craft rules.”

The history of the modern lifeboat stretches back over 250 years, and has a North East connection. The first lifeboat came into service in 1786, when the Duke of Northumberland commissioned the conversion of a fishing craft into a lifeboat to serve Bamburgh and the Northumberland coastline. The lifeboat, The Adventure, ran aground in 1789. It was not until 1851 that the new Duke of Northumberland sponsored a lifeboat design competition. This gave rise to self-righting lifeboats, a technology that is still employed in RNLI lifeboats today in its fleet of over 340 lifeboats, many of which are set to benefit from this research project.

The Courier

news.9

Monday 27 April 2015

Branson helps student out of a pickle Davies’ marathon has the support of both fellow health-enthusiast BranA Newcastle University student will son, and the cold press juice start-up, join over 30,000 runners on the 26.2- B.fresh from Shropshire. B.fresh have mile course of the London Marathon. kindly provided Laura with their deliIn the 35th annual race on April 26th, cious juices to help her preparation for Laura Davies will be cheered on by as the big day. many as 750,000 spectators along with Laura’s lifestyle fits with the ethos of her family. her choice of charity for the marathon.

The most notable fact in Laura’s case The Community Network, Laura’s charis the sponsorship she received from ity of choice, aims to prevent loneliness business titan Sir Richard Branson. and social exclusion and their crushing The second year student recently met consequences on health and well-being.

Sir Richard at an entrepreneurship Their volunteers bring people together event in Newcastle created by Rise Up over the phone and online in Talking and bravely asked if he would support Communities, giving opportunities to her fundraising. Laura admitted that socialise and support each other. This she had no idea what to say when the is a cause particularly close to Laura’s microphone was heart as she feels passed to her in the “Laura hopes to inspire that young people audience, but then could seriously others to believe in realised the boost benefit from the that Branson could service, especially themselves when they provide in spreadduring the somesee her completing ing the word about times difficult her cause. Branson transition to unithe marathon” was supportive of versity.

Laura’s “bold actions” and wished her When asked about her top tips for good luck both in person and on Twit- training, Laura told The Courier that it ter, also posing for photos. The media was “all about having a positive frame appearance helped Laura raise £600 in of mind” (but also a “ great playlist” to just 3 days. run to!) Laura’s aim for the race is not to This is deserved recognition for finish the course in record time. Rather, Davies, who describes juggling her she hopes to inspire others to believe in Agri-Business Management degree, her themselves when they see her completjob and her workout routine as a learn- ing the marathon which has been on ing curve in time management. Laura her bucket list since she was 15. Laura began running frequently after gaining is also looking forward to “sharing once a sought after place in the marathon last in a lifetime moments” with fellow runAugust, coupling this with “a healthy ners, encouraging them to cross the finlifestyle” and “cardio and weight train- ish line. ing”. She had experience of both as With the help the sponsorship she has she had been on the England Lacrosse received, Laura’s current total stands at Squad. This feat has not been without £1,697.76. its challenges, as she suffered an injury Donate to Laura’s cause at: uk.virginin October. moneygiving.com/LauraDavies2015

By Helena Vesty

SLICK RIC: Sir Richard Branson has expressed support for Laura’s cause. Image: Laura Davies

Rock society rocks for charity

Scientista Foundation to visit campus to encourage women in STEM in STEM careers. Using the analogy of a leaky pipeline, Scientista argue that the proportion of women with the poNewcastle University has been selected tential to become leading scientists in as the first UK campus to host the Sci- their fields drops off at various critical entista Foundation, an international or- stages, from failing to be inspired in ganisation dedicated to helping young high school to failing to secure funding women into careers in the sciences. for post-doctoral research. For instance, Founded in 2011 by Julia and Christina as the Tartaglia sisters argue, women in Tartaglia of Harvard University, Scien- the US have matched the rate of men tista have been looking to expand their getting Master’s degrees for the last two work of connecting established profes- decades, but fewer women secure PhDs sionals and young women to universi- and the numbers of women leading scities worldwide. entific projects has Careers in “Scientista will be not risen. Where STEM subjects Scientista differs offering female (Science, Techfrom other well-esnology, EngineerSTEM students the tablished organisaing and Maths) tions is the section chance to network remain maleof the pipeline they with professionals dominated areas, choose to focus on. despite significant Rather than targetat social events” progress in recent ing professional years to encourage women to pursue women at the end, or young girls at the their passions in these fields. Faced with start, Scientista focusses on reaching lingering gender inequality in the STEM out and addressing the concerns of feworkforce, the group aims to capture male college and graduate students. and accelerate that progress, mostly by Around the university campus, Sciincreasing the visibility of female role entista will be offering female STEM models through an online platform, students the chance to network with creating and strengthening communi- professionals at social events where ties for women across campuses, and they’ll have access to careers advice and providing opportunities and resources support. There is also the opportunity to those who are interested. for students to apply to the Scientista Scientista also aims to draw atten- Newcastle committee and lead the contion to what they see as the systemic versation on female representation in obstacles to women hoping to advance the sciences on campus.

By Jack Marley

ROCKIN’ FOR CHARITY: Rockstock donations raised over £700. Image: Olivia Mason, RockSoc Treasurer

out of the seven bands were from Newcastle and the surrounding areas and more than happy to not only play at the Newcastle University’s Rock Society event, but even contribute with their held their annual all-day fundraising own donations. festival Rockstock on Sunday 19 April.

The Sophie Lancaster Foundation’s The festival was held in aid of The Sophie aim is to stamp out prejudice, hatred Lancaster Foundation (S.O.P.H.I.E), and inequality everywhere, creating the and has raised a good sum of money for acronym S.O.P.H.I.E. It was formed in the charity in previous years. This year, the aftermath of the death of Sophie it was held at The Lancaster in Cluny in Ouseburn 2007, following “The bands all got Valley, and featured violent hate behind the cause and acrime a diverse line-up of in Lancaseven bands. shire. Her mothshowed support” RockSoc’s Treaser Sylvia Lancasurer, Olivia Mason confirmed that over ter set up the charity foundation in the the course of the day, the Rock Society hope of ensuring that what happened raised a staggering £736.92 for the char- to Sophie would not happen to anyone itable cause. else. This is a cause close to the hearts The RockSoc Executive Committee of many in the alternative community. spends weeks each year organising the “The bands all got behind the cause event and finding local bands that are and showed support from across the willing to play Rockstock. This year, six alternative spectrum,” Joe Bambrick,

By Iqra Choudhry

RockSoc’s current President, told The Courier.

The line-up of the festival was diverse and entertaining. Performances from the bands ranged from progressive metal, such as openers Thesis Lives and penultimate performers We Are Knuckledragger, through melodic metalcore, to punk rock, such as local veterans Death To Indie, and straight-up rock music, represented by headliners Godsized.

The final sum of £736.92 was raised from ticket sales, sales of official S.O.P.H.I.E merchandise, and a raffle for a box of prizes donated by local businesses and some of the bands playing the event. Olly Cobb, RockSoc’s shadow Vice President, said: “Rockstock was a huge success, we were able to raise an incredible amount of money for the S.O.P.H.I.E foundation as well as hear some of the amazing local talent. I’m definitely looking forward to next year.”

Monday 27 April 2015

10.nationalstudentnews

NEWSTACK Skydiving cheerleaders London

Job  Title:  Jewellery  Sales  Representative  Employer:  Eva  London  Closing  Date:  01/07/15 Salary:  £7  per  hour  Basic  job  description:  We  are  recruiting  sociable  and  organised  sales  reps  to  attend  graduation  events  promoting  unique  jewellery  to  graduates  and  their  guests.  You  will  need  to  set  up  the  stand,  sell  the  jewellery  and  report  back  on  sales  at  the  end  of  the  day.  In  particular  we  are  looking  for  sales  reps  for  Tuesday  7th  July  to  Thursday  16th  July.  We  are  looking  for  people  with  enthusiasm,  motivation  and  great  interpersonal  skills  that  can  multi-­task  and  are  comfortable  working  independently  in  a  busy  environment  so  please  also  get  in  touch  if  this  is  of  interest.

Person  requirements:  We  need  people  with  enthusi-­ asm,  motivation  and  great  interpersonal  skills  that  can  multi-­task  and  are  comfortable  working  indepen-­ dently  in  a  busy  environment Location:  On  Campus  Job  description:  Newcastle  Work  Experience  –  Suck-­ ling  Piglet  Behaviour  Researcher  Employer:  Newcastle  University  Closing  date:  04/05/15  Salary:  £2400  bursary Basic  job  description:  As  part  of  a  large  project  we  are  addressing  management  strategies  that  may  improve  the  performance  of  piglets  to  weaning.  We  are  particularly  interested  in  the  performance  of  lightweight  pigs  as  their  numbers  have  dramatically  LQFUHDVHG VLQFH VRZ SUROL¿ FDF\ KDV LPSURYHG :H will  be  starting  an  experiment  in  April  to  address  the  effects  of  different  litter  composition  on  the  intake  of  creep  feed  offered  to  piglets  whilst  they  are  still  suckling.  Person  requirements:  The  student  should:  have  taken  a  module  dealing  with  the  concepts  of  animal  behaviour;͞  be  able  to  persevere  with  video  observa-­ tions  for  long  periods  of  time;͞  ideally  have  some  pri-­ or  experience  with  software  that  analyses  behaviour,  such  as  Observer  -­  although  this  is  not  essential  and  be  interested  in  the  development  of  behaviours  in  pigs  and  in  particular  feeding  behaviour.

Location:  Newcastle  University  Campus  Job  Title:   Promotional  Opportunities  with  Marie  Curie Employer:  Evolution  Recruitment  Ltd Closing  Date:  31/05/15 6DODU\ … SHU KRXU WUDYHO EHQH¿ WV Basic  job  description:  Indoor  venue  face-­to-­face  fundraising  opportunities  with  Marie  Curie  Cancer  Care  with  a  guaranteed  hourly  rate  and  travel  costs  covered.

Person  requirements:  It  is  desirable  that  you  should  have  a  genuine  passion  for  the  work  of  the  charity  or  have  sales/promotions  experience  and  the  role  is  ideal  to  work  round  family,  studies  or  extra  money  during  retirement.  You  must  hold  a  full  valid  UK  driving  license  and  be  a  car  owner  as  this  role  will  involve  regular  travel  to  different  venues  throughout  the  Tyne  and  Wear  region.  Staff  will  be  paid  25p  per  mile  whilst  on  Charity  business.

Location:  Based  in  Newcastle  but  travel  around  Tyne  and  Wear  is  required.

Job  Title:  Newcastle  Work  –  Operations  Assistant  Employer:  Square  One  Utilities  Closing  date:  10/05/15  Salary:  £2400  bursary Basic  job  description:  Square  One  is  a  Business  En-­ ergy  Consultancy.  We  provide  a  bespoke  service  in  Energy  Procurement  and  Energy  Management.  The  role  is  based  within  the  Operations  department  and  ZLOO SURYLGH D ¿ UVW FODVV VHUYLFH WR DOO RI RXU FOLHQWV which  includes  energy  procurement,  data  collec-­ tion,  data  analysis,  supplier/client  interaction,  client  portfolio  creation,  bill  checking  and  data  input.

Person  requirements:  The  ideal  candidate  should  be  FRQ¿ GHQW XVLQJ 0LFURVRIW SDFNDJHV LQ SDUWLFXODU ([ cel.  They  must  have  an  eye  for  detail  and  the  ability  to  ensure  that  work  is  undertaken  with  scrupulous  accuracy.  Ability  to  work  both  independently  and  as  part  of  a  team  and  to  stay  calm  under  pressure  in  a  EXV\ RI¿ FH HQYLURQPHQW ([FHOOHQW RUJDQLVDWLRQDO skills  with  the  ability  to  prioritise.  Good  written  and  oral  communication  skills.

Location:  Boldon,  South  Tyneside

Job  Title:  Customer  Service  Representative  –  Part  Time Employer:  Tesco  Bank  Closing  Date:  01/05/15 Salary:  £16,990  -­  £18,377  pro  rata  Basic  job  description:  It’s  all  about  treating  people  how  we’d  like  to  be  treated  and  making  sure  that  we  DUH KHUH IRU RXU FXVWRPHUV 'HOLYHULQJ D ¿ UVW FODVV customer  experience,  you’ll  identify  the  right  prod-­ ucts  and  solutions  to  match  our  customer’s  require-­ ments  on  inbound  sales  and  service  calls.  You’ll  bring  strong  customer  service  experience  –  prefer-­ ably  from  a  sales  contact  centre  background.  With  excellent  communication  skills  and  proven  customer  service  experience,  you’ll  naturally  go  the  extra  mile,  every  time.  In  return,  we  will  be  as  committed  to  you,  as  you  are  to  our  customers.  Person  requirements:  Customer  service  experience  essential,  preferably  contact  centre  experience.  Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne  Job  Title:  Newcastle  Work  Experience  –  Software  Developer  Employer:  Gavurin  Ltd  Closing  date:  10/05/15  Salary:  £2400  bursary Basic  job  description:  Gavurin  develops  geo-­ graphic  data  intelligence  software  whereby  we  have  recruited  extensively  from  Newcastle  University.  We  are  moving  towards  developing  interfaces  which  will  permit  users  to  input  their  own  data.  This  may  be  individually  very  small  data  (for  example  the  input  from  a  questionnaire)  to  full  databases.  The  latter  is  traditionally  not  well  handled,  in  particular  for  geographic  data.  The  process  is  often  complex  and  off  putting  for  the  non-­technical.  Consistent  with  our  company  objectives,  we  want  to  do  this  differently  and  enable  the  non-­technical  user  to  input  complex  data.

Person  requirements:  Computing  Science  under-­ graduate  or  postgraduate.  If  the  former,  second  or  third  year  students  preferred.   Applicants  must  be  À XHQW LQ (QJOLVK DQG LQWHUHVWHG LQ TXDQWLWDWLYH GDWD Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne.

Job  Title:  Event  Bar  Staff Employer:  Boutique  Bars  Closing  Date:  25/06/15 Salary:  £6.50  -­  £8.00  per  hour  Basic  job  description:  Boutique  bars  are  the  premier  event  bar  company  in  the  North  East,  specialising  in  bar  solutions  for  weddings  and  events.  The  work  is  mainly  Friday  and  Saturday  shifts  and  shifts  are  approximately  8-­12  hours.

Person  requirements:  Successful  applicants  will  need  to  have  experience  working  in  a  bar  environ-­ ment  and  must  be  available  throughout  the  summer.  A  car  and  driving  license  is  a  bonus.  Start  date  will  be  from  late  May  onwards.  Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne  Job  description:  Newcastle  Work  Experience  –  Soft-­ ware  Developer  Employer:  Geek  Talent  Closing  date:  10/05/15  Salary:  £2400  bursary Basic  job  description:  The  company  is  a  start-­up  WHFKQRORJ\ ¿ UP ZLWK RI¿ FHV LQ 6XQGHUODQG DQG Gateshead.  It  is  developing  a  software  product  changing  the  way  employers  search  for  staff,  replacing  high  cost  recruitment  fees.  The  product  is  a  social  network  recruitment  platform  that  uses  state  of  the  art  algorithms  to  identify  connections  people  have  which  show  how  you  are  connected  to  WKH VWDII \RX ZDQW WR UHFUXLW 7KLV LV WKH ¿ UVW RI PDQ\ products  they  are  looking  to  launch  in  2015.  You  will  work  with  a  talented  team  of  Software  Architects,  Web  Developers  and  AI  experts  and  be  helping  the  company  launch  the  next  big  thing  in  Tech  and  be  part  of  their  growing  team.

Person  requirements:  Any  experience  in  the  follow-­ ing  would  be  an  advantage:  Java  Development  skills  (backend)  Eclipse  /  J2EE;Íž  Web  services,  XML,  API  integration,  REST,  JSON;Íž  Unix/Linux  skills;Íž  SOLR  Search  index,  Scrapy  web  crawling;Íž  Data  Modelling  experience  and  more.  Location:  Sunderland Â

Come  to  The  Courier’s  writers’  meetings Culture Wednesdays  3pm  Planning  Room Union  Building

Sabbs  revisited:

This  week  Mark  Sleightholm  talks  to  Katie  Rimmer,  who  was  1868œV $WKOHWLF 8QLRQ 2I¿ FHU in  2013/14,  and  that  year’s  President,  Calum  Mackenzie

Katie Rimmer

Toxic diet pills death Glyndwr

21-year-old Eloise Parry died in a Shrewsbury hospital after consuming “highly toxic� diet pills.

The Glyndwr University student’s mother said her daughter had taken eight of the pills, when just two pills are considered lethal. Police believe the tablets contained industrial chemical dinitrophenol, or DNP, which is commonly used as a pesticide.

Ms Parry said she was unaware her daughter was taking the pills until after her death: “It’s a really nasty drug. Once the drug is in your system it does a lot of damage. It doesn’t just burn fat; it destroys your muscles. It turns bodily fluids yellow. Doctors didn’t stand a chance of saving her, unfortunately.�

A Glyndwr University spokesperson said Eloise was a popular student who “had great potential�.

The University also said that Eloise had contacted the student guild to start a campaign alerting students to the dangers of diet pills.

Hebdo talk cancelled Belfast

Queen’s University’s cancellation of a planned conference on the Charlie Hebdo murders is facing criticism. Delegates were told vice-chancellor Patrick Johnston was worried about security and the University’s reputation.

Leeds University professor Max Silverman was scheduled to speak at the symposium. He said: “This was an academic conference and the ironic thing is of course it’s got far more publicity now than it would ever have got if it had gone ahead.

I believe universities are places of learning, are places of discussion, places of debate.� Oxford University’s Dr Brian Klug was also due to speak at the event. He said: “It worries me that a decision like that should be taken because it feeds the fear that this conference was to try to dispel by careful, thoughtful analysis.�

Fine for filing failure Sheffield

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Kingston University’s Cougars are supporting a fellow cheerleader by jumping out of a plane for charity.

Business management and economics student Ruana Fletcher inspired the skydive, which will raise money for The Cystic Fibrosis Trust. She said: “Cystic fibrosis has affected my day-to-day life every single day for the past 19 years. It’s mandatory to take endless medication, stay clear of toxins and control daily activity just to remain relatively healthy and well.�

Thirty of Fletcher’s squad mates will participate in the tandem jump. The team has also organised a dance-off event and volunteering activities to reach their ÂŁ3,500 target. Team president ChloĂŠ Lister hopes their fundraising efforts will raise further awareness about the life-shortening illness. She said: “After seeing the first-hand effects of cystic fibrosis, I’m doing all I can to help back Ru’s campaign. Ru is an incredibly dedicated and passionate individual.â€?

The Courier

Due to a procedural failure, a Sheffield Hallam graduate has been penalised £1,200 for submitting a late tax return for which he wasn’t responsible.

Tax officials have considered the case “significantly unfair,� but according to HMRC, Jack Dyson has no right to appeal the fine.

Dyson opened a business with a fellow student during their studies. By law, they had to submit a joint tax return in addition to individual self-assessment forms. Though Dyson submitted his selfassessment tax return three months early, his partner filed the joint return six months after deadline.

In addition to a late penalty of ÂŁ300, they were each fined ÂŁ10 per day for 90 days. Dyson can’t appeal because he wasn’t nominated to submit the partnership tax return. A spokesman said: “Under partnership law each partner is bound by the actions – or lack of actions – of any other partner who is acting within their lawful capacity.â€?

Ashley Williams

So Katie, what have you done since last summer?

After dealing with the trauma of leaving Newcastle, I came running back to be a chief supervisor for freshers’ week. I’m now working in marketing and events in Cheltenham.

What’s it like being out in the “real world�?

The real world makes hangovers harder to deal with!

Do you have any personal highlights from your year as a sabb?

There are so many, but probably having the opportunity to organise my favourite event of every year, the AU Ball as well as being able to celebrate what a brilliant group of students Newcastle has taking part in sport.

Is there any advice you would give to the incoming AU officer?

My advice to Angus would be to enjoy every single second as AU Officer and make the most of every opportunity available, because it really does go by in a flash!

Calum  Mackenzie Could you tell me what you’ve been up to since you left?

Since I left I had a month or two off over the summer then started on the Diageo graduate scheme in September.

The drinks company?

Yeah that’s the one.

Wow! That must be exciting.

What are you doing for them?

Yeah it is a pretty cool company, I’m on their sales and marketing scheme. For your first placement you do a field sales rotation, and they sent me back up here to do it!

No way! So are you still living in Newcastle?

Sure am, managed to squeeze out another year!

Sounds great. What are you best memories of being President?

The great people I came across was one of the best memories. Whether it was students or staff you are surrounded by people you were excited to come to work with each day.

Do you get the same feeling with you current job?

No job can compete, you never can match that experience – going into work for a business has been a massive change.

Do you have any advice for next year’s President?

Or anything you wish you’d done differently?

You will inevitably regret bits of the year, but just remember you have so much ability to do things from day one, so make it count from the first week.

It’s a challenging role and sometimes it can be tough but it goes for all the Sabbs – just remember how much you wanted to hear your name read out on results night and the feeling when you heard it, that’ll get you through the hard times!

The Courier

.11

Monday 27 April 2015

Comment

thecourieronline.co.uk/comment

Comment Editors: Victoria Armstrong & Matt Corden Online Comment Editor: Ruth Davis courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

The EU’s migrant crisis

With catastrophes of human rights violations and violence in of the Middle East and Northern Africa, record numbers of migrant crossings are being attempted. As the death toll increases, especially for children, Daniel Robertson UHÀ HFWV RQ the consistent failures of society, European leaders and British politicians in making moves to address the problem

F

Daniel Robertson

ollowing the catastrophic drowning of 800 migrants off the coast Libya on April 19th, only 28 people could be saved and brought to safety on the shores of Catania. This brings the total number of deaths this year to 1,750. Amidst this clearly contentious issue, is Europe’s hostility to migrants affecting the aid that should be given?

The Italian search-and-rescue mission was disbanded by the EU last October after the £6.5m a month budget was seen to be too much of a burden to bear. The cheaper (and extremely limited) EU border commission that was set up in its place has since seen a 50-fold increase in deaths of migrants making the journey into Europe this year alone.

This short-sightedness by the EU Commission can clearly be seen as a mistake after this year’s mass tragedies.

In recent years, with war carving its way through countries such as Syria, Iraq, South Sudan and Central African Republic as well economic atrophy gripping the Mediterranean peripherals, it is clear to why there has been a rise in migration. More than 120,000 Syrians alone entered the EU in 2011.

And what of the response from the UK? Labour leader, Miliband launched a furious attack on the EU and Cameron for unacceptably abandoning thousands of immigrants in need. Claiming that the current refugee situation should have been anticipated by the UK “in post-conflict planning” for Libya, for example. The Deputy Prime Minister highlighted how this possible political point scoring was ill-used off the back off this human tragedy, but the point remains, was this crisis in any way avoidable? Against the original decision to cut search-and-rescue missions, he calls for it to be reversed.

Theresa May and Philip Hammond believe that such rescue missions will create a ‘pull factor’ which will lead to more migrant deaths as it’ll encourage them to take the risk.

Many of those travelling to reach the EU are children, with the number of children travelling alone rocketing to 68% from 50% in the past year. Fleeing abhorrent bloody conflicts, repressive regimes and failed states, these migrants are in no way criminals, but in fact victims to some of the world’s worst current major crises’. Exploited by humantraffickers, these children were promised new and safe lives in Europe, their families persuaded to pay thousands of pounds to safeguard these promises.

Reports have discovered this week that these children -who survive/make it to the EU- face dehydration and malnutrition, kidnapping, detention and extortion, torture, child slavery and sexual abuse. Various ‘Save the Children’ teams in Italy are now aiding children who have reported to have been beaten endlessly, witnessing fellow migrants being set alight with petrol or beheaded for ‘stepping out of line’ on their journey. Italian PM Matteo Renzi has called for direct action against people smugglers, describing them as “the slave traders of the 21st Century”.

A draft summit statement launched last week in Brussels has indicated that the vast majority of those who have survived the journey to Italy (of which 150’000 did last year) will be sent back to their places of origins as ‘irregular migrants’. This is a new rapid-return program co-ordinated by Frontex, the EU’s border agency. Under the plan, it is

“Now is a time for the European public to consider the inhuman strife of migrants rather than ambivalence towards taking in refugees”

suggested that only 5000 resettlement places will be offered to refugees within the EU. Considering some of the conflicts and regimes consumed within these ‘places or origin’, this plan appears both unrealistic and unfair in the way it would remove those now integrated into European society. Is this just another way in which European mentality towards migrants is impeding the humanitarian aid it gives? Is 5000 places enough, or a pale attempt at solidarity?

And what of these refugees in the EU? Miliband has spoken out that it is necessary for the UK to take a ‘fair share’ of refugees fleeing civil war after poor numbers being taking under the current government.

For once it seems that UKIP leader, Farage was able take to the media with a view on immigration

that actually relates to immigration, and not for incessant migrant blame-mongering. In an interview with ITV News it was unsurprising that Mr. Farage took a viewpoint that despite the allowance to have the Royal Navy dispatched to stop deaths he would not however support an EU policy to make the crossing safer. Justifying this was his stance that “we cannot have yet another unlimited wave coming into Britain”.

Although this can be seen as an immigration issue, it should be seen as a global humanitarian crisis; an issue to be based upon humanitarian obligations. With a letter manifested by late Nobel laureate Günter Grass being presented to the President of the European Union -signed by 1100 leading European writers - a basic statement was issued that “people who need protection on ar-

rival at the borders of the EU are being treated as enemies”. This sentiment calls upon the nations of Europe to create common and humane laws of asylum that are not driven by nationalistic interests, but instead by a presence of solidarity and a sense of responsibility.

With attitudes surrounding immigration at a point of mass contention, is it time for a European public to consider the inhuman strife, death and drowning of migrant children and families fleeing conflict rather than the ambivalence towards taking in refugees? Whatever the case, the EU leaders can no longer stand idly by whilst such extreme loss of life is lapping at its shorelines. A step towards a tackling this problem is one that cannot be ignored.

12.comment

SOAP BOX THE LIBRARY It’s exam season and everyone and their mum is flocking to the Robbo, laughing with anguish as the sun is ruthlessly shining outside. For those of us dedicated to the humanities, we’re starting to make bird-like book nests in our living rooms. Hence my question to all relevant library and university authorities: how do you imagine that people on big courses with essays usually due on the same time can get by with only one paper copy of a key text that we need? If there’s an online copy then fair enough but in most cases there isn’t. I often have to resort finding the most obscure authors that are at best vaguely related to my research in hope that they have quoted someone who might be of use to me. If there’s someplace I definitely do want my £9,000 to go, adequate library resources is pretty high on that list. Coordinating with module leaders to provide an adequate number of copies or at least online versions of said key readings would probably do and I live in hope of the day when my essays written solely with the help of Google Scholar will be behind me.

Antonia Velikova

GENDER SPECIFIC DRINKING Earlier this week, myself and a friend were ordering pints, and elicited the response from the barman that ‘it’s rare you meet girls who appreciate real ale’. Sadly, this is not the first comment of the kind I’ve heard – I have friends who reputedly state that it’s not attractive for a girl to be seen with a pint. Why has society made it this way? Who is the person who dictates the sort of alcoholic drink which each gender is supposedly reputed to enjoy.

Is this not a case of our personal preferences anymore? It’s a similar question when we come to food – it’s apparently very feminine to appreciate a salad, whereas girls ordering larger meals are frowned upon. Is this because guys are threatened about being seen as emasculated by a girl who can handle a large proportion of carbs? Either way, gender stereotypes should not have reached a point where they infiltrate our diet and beverage preferences.

Eat and drink what you want – regardless of the patriarchy. And if you’re a girl – don’t feel constrained by the world of over-priced, sometimes sickly sweet cocktails; go our and discover the real ales on offer, they really are wonderful.

Ruth Davis

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Hopkins in hellfire Katie  Hopkins  has  caused  yet  more  furore  with  her  article  in  the  Sun  about  ‘cockroaches’  from  North  Africa,  but  should  we  have  ever  taken  her  seriously?

Frankie  Toynton

W

hat to do when someone can’t be ignored, but shouldn’t be taken seriously? There is little to like about Katie Hopkins. Occupying the difficult space between disregard and disgusting bile, she presents a seemingly no-win situation – to ignore, and let the hatred slide, or respond, and give her the attention she craves?

Like a cheap cigarette, Hopkins must be experienced in ever-increasing doses for her presence to be felt. In coming to prominence on ITV’s Calender, Hopkins spoke about the perceived drawbacks of selected names. Judgemental yes, but not exactly evil. Since then, she has waded into the quagmires of depression and immigration without so much as a pair of flippers. To the people involved, these subjects are a matter of life and death; to Hopkins, they are a breath of celebrity fresh air, a chance to extend her fifteen minutes by another few seconds.

The police investigation into Hopkins and David Dinsmore has added an interesting element into the discussion. Dinsmore, much like Hopkins, revels in controversy, having played games with The Sun’s Page 3 earlier this year. This is a comparison

worth making, because The Sun’s response to the NMP3 campaign was, blindly, “if you don’t like it, turn the page�. In other words, ignore it. This is ad-

“Occupying the difficult space between disregard and disgusting bile, she presents a seemingly nowin situation - to ignore, and let the hatred slide, or respond and give her the attention she craves?�

vice which is often doled out to those in opposition to Hopkins, the idea being that since she thrives on attention, don’t provide it – rather than chain smoking those cheap cigarettes, go out cold turkey.

This is a viable option as far as her Twitter feed is concerned, but less so when a Newspaper with a 2.2m circulation gives her a platform to spew from.

As the most popular newspaper in the country,

headed by Rupert Murdoch, The Sun cannot really be ignored. In this case, the investigation has given us an easy way out; in the future, Hopkins will be more careful, and this escape route will be shut off . We will have to make a decision. The petition to The Sun to remove Hopkins as a columnist (almost 270,000 strong at the time of writing) makes a compelling case: remove the platform, silence the voice. Should it prove successful, however, The Sun on Sunday, The Express, et al would all be delighted to offer her an olive branch. What we need is a winwin situation, a Marlboro option.

Laughter can be more damaging than the cruellest of insults. Lynton Crosby, the Tories’ PR mercenary, has not called Miliband “cruel� or “evil�, he’s just laughed at him, relentlessly. Such an attitude could be applied to Hopkins, and this way, everybody wins. As the object of ridicule, Hopkins would still get the attention she craves, without the notoriety; her targets, the weak and vulnerable, would know that society was laughing with them, at her; the rest of us could take as much notice as we liked, never taking the whole thing seriously.

Essentially, treat Hopkins the way we treat Prince Philip. This is the Marlboro option. As with all who live on cheap celebrity status, Hopkins will fade eventually – we should get as much laughter out of

What is the NUS for now?

The  National  Union  of  Students’  stances  on  big  political  issues  might  be  DGPLUDEOH EXW WKHUHœV QR UHÀ HFWLRQ RI WKH SOXUDOLW\ RI VWXGHQW YLHZV

“‘Students’ is not a single entity.

There are hundreds of thousands of students in the UK with a huge variety of opinions. The tuition fees protests and the number of student candidates in the approaching election suggest that many students are more than capable of expressing their political views for themselves�

TOUGH DECISION No time is more full of political clichĂŠ and jargon than at election time. Long-term economic plan, hard-working families, the mess Labour left behind, the Great British people, up and down the Country, let me be clear, the list goes on. The one I’ve found most infuriating is the complaint by politicians that they’ve had to make “tough decisionsâ€? in government. When it’s your job to make decisions, it’s pretty pathetic to start complaining that occasionally making a decision is indeed a hard thing to do. Even if you haven’t listened to the rest of what they said, when you hear those two words, they’re almost certainly defending a poor record, used as a euphemism for “it didn’t go as well as we’d hoped.â€? If they dropped the self-pity and either defended their record and decision making or admitted to a mistake they’d surely be respected a lot more. Foreign secretary Phillip Hammond is a serial offender, as is the education secretary Nicky Morgan. Nick Clegg has done his fair share of “tough decision makingâ€?. A bit of sympathy please for our poor public servants.

Matt Corden

N

Mark  Sleightholm

USU, I think, has to take a large part of the credit for making the Newcastle student experience one of the best in the country (the 10th best, to be precise). We are fortunate that it not only provides countless invaluable services, but refrains from declaring views on behalf of its students. This is more than can be said for the NUS, and even Newcastle Student Council meetings can have a political tinge to them from time to time.

The Student Council is the official representation of all Newcastle students, and yet only a tiny minority bother to attend. Its members are not elected and can only offer their own opinions, and so to me it seems wrong for the Student Council to give support or condemnation to wider political issues, such as NHS privatisation or lecturer strikes.

Besides, if one society got all its members to attend a Council meeting it could probably swing the vote anyway. In my view the Student Council is for improving the student experience here at Newcastle, not engaging in ideological debates.

NUSU has been heavily involved with campaigns and events such as Mind the Gap, SHAG Week and LGBT+ Awareness Week. I would suggest this is improving the student experience, but to others this is political. Opponents of gender equality might not be all that numerous at Newcastle University, but they clearly do exist. One respondent to NUSU’s recent lad culture survey said: “Stop siding with feminists on everything.� Should the Union refrain from promoting equality to avoid offending the opinions of some of its members?

I suppose anything could be considered political. Even if gender equality, divestment from fossil fuels or reducing the stigmas attached to mental health issues might be seen as worthy causes by most of the student population, there’s bound to be someone who disagrees. But students can chose to ignore a campaign if they don’t support its aims.

NUSU, or the NUS, condemning, supporting or approving of things on behalf of “the students� is completely different.

Last year the NUS received criticism – from the students it was claiming to represent – for condemning UKIP and Israel but not ISIS. Why was

it commenting on any of them? “Students� is not a single entity. There are hundreds of thousands of students in the UK with a huge variety of opinions.

The tuition fees protests and the number of student candidates in the approaching election suggest that many students are more than capable of expressing their political views for themselves.

The NUS or NUSU making political statements implies that students are not entitled to have opinions of their own. It’s widely accepted that a majority of students possess somewhat left-wing views, but there’s also no shortage of Conservative voters either. Even UKIP has just over 1% of Newcastle University’s students behind it, according to a poll conducted by the Courier. There’s a common romantic view of universities as a place of debate and of discovering new ideas. The diversity of student opinion should be celebrated, and “representative� bodies wading into politics hinders this. If some students want to pretend they’re the next Tony Benn or Tony Blair, maybe they should join a debating society, instead of dragging the entire student population into the politics of the Middle East.

The Courier

comment.13

Monday 27 April 2015

All my life, I’ve been watching America M

Trophy hunters are completely gross. It’s time for a rethink on animal welfare

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Matt  Corden

he state of the English language is a touchy subject, the influx of words from across the North Atlantic are enough to get any British person’s teeth grinding.

The vernacular used to describe that gathering we attended in tuxedoes and dresses is now a prom rather than a leavers’ ball. I find myself buying cookies from Tesco as opposed to biscuits. I almost always order fries at a restaurant and not chips.

Even insults are becoming Americanized (yes, I did spell that with a ‘z’), the rise of motherfucker and douchebag are particularly noticeable. These words are becoming less and less contested as time goes on, but the starry-eyed English patriotism still has a huge problem with America’s sinister influence upon our vocabulary.

John Witherspoon – a Founding Father of the United States – coined the term ‘Americanism’ in the Pennsylvania Journal in 1781, to describe new terms and phrases that began to emerge in the new Country. The new words that were eventually exported to the United Kingdom throughout the

“The deep seated suspicion of influence from the United States... always falls back on a contrived superiority complex�

19th century included: lengthy, reliable, talented, influential and tremendous. Of course no one raises an eyebrow at those words today, but those who utilised them were considered just as vulgar and foreign back then as those who play checkers or use an elevator are now. Samuel Taylor Coleridge – author of the masterpiece Kubla Khan – condemned the word ‘talented’ as a barbarous vulgarism in 1832. The columnist Matthew Engel wrote an excellent piece on that point.

Part of the beauty of the English language is its adaptability. ‘Selfie’ (which is actually of Austral-

ian origin, as is the –ie suffix in general) now features in the Oxford dictionary – an inconceivable word when the English lexicon was first standardized by Samuel Johnson’s Dictionary of the English Language. You could say the success of English as

“A perfectly innocent evolution of language which has been largely influenced by Uncle Sam does not require the kind of alarm or crisis of identity that comes along with it�

an international language owes a great deal to this adaptability. Of course without British imperialism it’s hard to imagine the prevalence of English, just as the prevalence of Spanish and French relates to empire. But Spanish, French, as well as Latin have never been global mediums of communication in the same way that English has been.

The deep seated suspicion of influence from the United States amongst the British almost always falls back on a contrived superiority complex; we like to shout about being the nation where the language originated and hence the righteous owners.

Whilst some think that to be seen as anti-American is a one-way ticket to being a radical, hostility towards American culture and traditions is one of the oldest tell-tale signs of the Little Englander, the Tory and the snob. They never quite recovered from the loss of the British superpower status and the rise of the United States, particularly after the embarrassment at Suez in 1956 that the Tory Party never quite forgave (Nigel Farage has since become the figurehead for this tradition I’ve noticed). A cobbled together nation of immigrants, too materialistic, too brash and self-confident (as Charles Dickens used to complain on all accounts) – these are all the reactionary and self-delusionary sentiments of English refinement over American vulgarity that go beyond constructive criticism of race relations or their healthcare system. I think

that this irrational snobbery often applies to the influence of the United States upon the English language too.

There are still plenty of Americanisms I wouldn’t dream of using in ordinary conversation as they don’t come naturally to me, of course that’s a perfectly normal case of nurture in the Country I’ve grown up in. The infusion of the two dialects has instead been a slow but sure process over decades and centuries, very few people even realise how many everyday words originated from across the Atlantic. Euphemism and newspeak is the real abuse of the English language (like when Hillary Clinton was caught flat-out lying about being shot at in Bosnia, she didn’t lie, she ‘mis-spoke’), George Orwell’s 1946 essay Politics and the English Language speaks out against this abuse brilliantly.

However, a perfectly innocent evolution of language which has been largely influenced by Uncle Sam does not require the kind of alarm or crisis of identity that often comes along with it.

Stop blaming the victims

Image: DonkeyHotey @ Flickr

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Alice  Brien

t has recently been reported that, in commenting on Karen Buckley’s murder after a night out with friends, a judge suggested how it was ‘very, very worrying how young girls put themselves in such very, very vulnerable positions.’ Unfortunately, it is easy to see how if Karen were male, this kind of comment would not have been made. However, because of her gender, it is thought she should have made more of an effort to ensure her wellbeing, such as making sure her friends kept better tabs on her, dressing less provocatively, drinking less – or maybe just not leaving the house in the first place.

At a local open mic night this week, my drink got spiked. As someone who aims to be as independent as possible, admitting that this had happened (never mind the embarrassment of passing out in my own vomit in a near stranger’s house) is really difficult – because I have to admit I didn’t take the right “precautions� for my safety. I had had a little bit to drink, I had made an effort with my hair and

makeup, and I made the mistake of standing up at the front and performing a few songs, and so advertising all of these things to the whole cafÊ. What I hadn’t done was gone with friends or made sure I never left my drink unattended. I was too comfortably naïve in believing nobody had any malicious intentions towards me. The worst thing is that because no one was with me, nobody believes me when I say I was spiked.

“I don’t want to need someone to walk me home when it’s dark, or feel unsafe going down quieter streets�

I was so lucky that someone was there who was able to take care of me, but the potential dangers have made me almost too scared to drink, make an effort with my appearance, and even perform again – and this just shouldn’t be the case. Yes, men get spiked too, and ideally this wouldn’t happen at

all, but the double standard related to it means not only are friends doubting it happened, but whether it would have happened had I been more “careful�.

After last week’s article on lad culture it’s true that this is unfortunately something that is still a problem. However my biggest question is how, if there is such an increased awareness of the problem, it is still happening. I am lucky, I suppose, that I am not scared to speak out against it, to friends and strangers alike. It’s really a blessing to society that I don’t walk around flipping my middle finger at all the men who shout after me in the street, or make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin under their gaze. Sometimes you just have to pick your battles.

I don’t want to need someone to walk me home when it’s dark, or feel unsafe going down quieter streets in the city. I enjoy my sexuality, and I don’t see why I should suppress or hide it to avoid being hurt. We are an advanced, Western society, where is the respect we’ve allegedly been working towards? I don’t need to take precautions when planning a night out, I need to be respected as a person who is able to have fun without feeling the need to constantly check over their shoulder.

Antonia  Velikova

y uncle is a hunter. I’ve been vaguely aware of that fact ever since I was a child, however I didn’t put too much thought into it. For me, my uncle was the broody, quiet man who never spoke too much at family gatherings. Sometimes, when we went to his house, I’d see the guns and ask my mum what they were for and even now I remember her giving me some sort of half-answer, without actually telling me “Your uncle shoots at animals.�

I’ve lost touch with my uncle now. However, the recent Twitter debacle in which comedian Ricky Gervais lashed out against trophy hunters and their trade made me think about him again. Has

“In my eyes, trophy hunting can’t stand as conservation, it’s nothing more than a (somewhat) legalised form of poaching for rich people� my uncle taken photos with boars that he’s shot?

Probably. Has he shown them to his friends, talking with pride about it? Has he hung boar heads in his study? Has he ever made some sort of display, which says “I kill animals and I’m proud of it?�

Trophy hunters claim that this is a form of conservation. Carefully regulated and observed, they are issued a special quota permit for animals to be killed. Of course, nothing in this world is free, so after that said permit is offered to the safari hunter who pays the most money. Apparently, the pleasure of shooting at Tanzanian lions starts at $75,000 a pop.

All that scheming veiled under the pretense of “care for the wildlife� for me just screams “vulgar capitalism.� Trophy hunting is far from a conservation method now, it’s being used as a tool for rich Americans to get their kicks out of shooting rare animals and then posting selfies on Instagram while grinning next to their dead bodies. Often covered in blood. With their teeth bared, with the hunters holding their mouths open, with the hunters hauling said dead bodies off the ground.

All with victorious, gleeful grins on their faces. I looked at three of those and I felt ill.

“All that scheming veiled under the pretence of care for wildlife for me just screams vulgar capitalism�

I realise that hunting may be a genuine need for some people, and I’m fully aware that I’m probably informed about it at my fullest, seeing as I’ve never engaged in any hunting. However, I can’t help but wonder how someone can look so happy in the eyes of death. My mind struggles to understand the need to cause gruesome suffering and smile about it, boast about it. Wanting to find out more about it, I found a study on tourism and trophyhunting particularly in South Africa. No hunters mentioned conservation or care of the wildlife as the cause of them engaging in trophy hunting – however, excitement, challenge, the “thrill of the chase� were all up there, I wonder why.

If they were providing such a service to the wildlife, they wouldn’t be paying for it. If they cared so deeply, they wouldn’t be boasting about it. If they felt they were doing this for the greater good, they wouldn’t be so flippant and dismissive about all the criticism going their way. Do doctors take selfies next to the dead bodies of patients they’ve had to take off their life support? Do vets go home every evening and boast about the animal that they’ve had to put down in the morning.

In my eyes, trophy hunting can’t stand as conservation, it’s nothing more than a (somewhat) legalised form of poaching for rich people. Their smiles in the photos say it all.

The Courier

features.15

Monday 27 April 2015

Inside the NUS National Conference Editor Tom Nicholson spent three days at this year’s conference in Liverpool, and found it enlightening, hopeful -­ and intensely frustrating

L

ast week’s conference was, by turns, a pageant of the very worst and very best of the student movement: navel-gazing, insular, petty, factional, but also rabble-rousing, touching, funny, relevant and intensely important to the welfare of students. Firstly, the shit stuff, because that’s obviously much more entertaining to read about.

Having been vaguely excited by the prospect of forming national policy on big issues, everyone’s will was sapped slowly by about 3pm on the first day.

Procedural motions landed one after another, then four votes of no confidence in the chair. Then a new chair stepped in, and received a vote of no confidence within five minutes. It all felt verycynical.

“What’s happening?” I asked a delegate from Northumbria in the row behind us.

“They’re debating a procedural motion about whether there should be any more procedural motions”, he said.

I asked why, since nothing interesting had happened for about an hour. He sighed.

“I don’t know. It always happens.”

He sat back in his chair and went back on Twitter. For most of that day, Twitter was far more interesting than being in that room: someone highlighted a picture of another delegate wearing battle fatigues, wrapped in an Israeli flag and toting a machine gun. Apart from that, it was a carousel of inconsequential bitching and moaning.

As the spectacle continued, rumblings began that people were deliberately tabling procedural motions in an attempt to get certain motions shoved out of the running order due to a lack of time. I’ve seen people use the phrase ‘Kafkaesque’ to describe experiences like this. Having never read any Kafka I can’t really tell whether it’d be appropriate to use the label here, but if Kafka’s work is anything like as tedious, constipated, and utterly turgid as those few hours of the conference then I’ll only be picking up Metamorphosis to launch it at a particularly despised foe’s head.

As Sam Mujunga, a candidate for the Democratic Procedures Committee, put it: “We waste so much time on debating whether to debate or not and voting on whether to vote or not”.

The most positive thing which came out of the first day was the resolution to keep battling for free education, which is roughly analogous to turkeys voting to put winter festivals on an indefinite hiatus pending investigation into alternative luncheon meats. It was a tap-in, a shoo-in, and yet people seemed to feel something meaningful had been achieved. One person spoke against the motion, and people (rightly) took the piss out of him for the next three days. For all the talk of creating an accessible environment, anyone to the right of Gorbachev had next to no chance. At one point a speaker actually started a speech with the phrase: “Leon Trotsky once said…” Another signed off with “COMMUNISM FOREVER” to loud whooping.

It took two whole days of debating, politicking and bitching on Twitter before anyone mentioned societies or sports clubs. It was Richard Brooks, President of Hull’s Union, in his speech for the position of Vice President of Union Development, who did so, and went on to hit the nail on the head with regards to how the NUS is seen by many students, particularly up here: “At best we’re a discount card; at worst, we’re an embarrassment”.

The next day, he was pilloried in a daily newsletter produced by the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts for “stringing together clichés about how something or other meant that sports was a form of activism”. The author apparently missed the point that sports matter a lot to a lot of students, and that activism is not really what most people use their union for.

I think that’s the most damning indictment of where the NUS is currently: a lot of people involved in the sharp end of it, or the loudest of those

“I’ve seen people use the phrase ‘Kafkaesque’ to describe experiences like this. Having never read any Kafka I can’t really tell whether it’d be appropriate to use the label here, but if Kafka’s work is anything like as tedious, constipated, and utterly turgid as those few hours of the conference then I’ll only be picking up Metamorphosis to launch it at a particularly despised foe’s head.” involved at the sharp end at least, see the NUS and students’ unions generally as a continuation of the NOLSie hierarchy who’ve dominated recently.

(Within the NUS, to be a NOLSie (National Organisation of Labour Students type) is to be the lowest of the low: a part of the Labour Students group who have been broadly in control of the top positions, who are considered by those further to the left to be traitors who are only concerned with getting themselves jobs in the Labour party upon graduation. The left claimed a fair few scalps in the elections this year, with genuinely exciting, radical people like Shakira Martin and Shelly Asquith winning through. Still, it’s a mark of how insular the NUS is these days that they’ve started making up acronyms which most students neither know nor care about.)

There seemed to be a broad presumption among a lot of delegates that the NUS and students’ unions are primarily for big, sweeping, national political movements. But that’s not how most students use their students’ unions. They join societies and they play for sports teams. They don’t pop in for a bit of occupation and a croissant.

Worse came later on that second day. A man known to most as Irish Brian (due mainly to his name being Brian, and his origins in Ireland) was making a speech about why he should be a trustee of the NUS when he was cut off by the Chair telling someone to turn off the microphones because the staff were going on strike. It turned out that staff withdrew their labour as they were being criticized, and that any further comments about staff, either positive or negative, would result in an abandonment of the conference.

Then, five minutes later, they went on strike again for the same reason.

After another brief interlude, we were told that this was definitely, definitely our last warning. Another candidate came up to the microphone with some purpose.

“I just want to say, I think the staff have done and absolutely banging job this we-” Microphone off. Staff leave the stage. Head in hands. Three strikes in half an hour.

They did come back and continue again, but as NUS President Toni Pearce pointed out, for all the talk of socialism, collectivism and solidarity with workers across the world, the splits and backbiting among delegates were so pronounced as to make the irony almost physically palpable. For some delegates it seemed like solidarity was just a buzzword thrown in to demonstrate one’s right-on credentials. Quite where and why solidarity turns into ganging up and shouting at people on Twitter to no discernible effect is a knotty one.

That said, the best things which came of the conference were linked to the worst things though: the activism, the emphasis on direct action and dissatisfaction with the status quo, the passionate defence of the radical left. I’d been wondering, as a milksop liberal type, where exactly the grassroots of the far left were. It turns out that, as ever, they’re in the student movement, and that it’s a real and persistent force which has the concerns of students at its heart. It is, for the most part, the most exciting and meaningful leftist movement we’ve got going nationally, and it gives me great comfort to know that there actually is a big grassroots leftist group with the chutzpah to do reckless, romantic demonstrations and campaigns. They also do a great deal for liberation groups like those representing minority ethnicities, LGBT people, and ensuring representation of women.

Then again, it’s still a bloated, lumbering old beast of a union which cannot change overnight.

In fact, with there being about 7 million students in the UK, it’s even bigger than the Trades Union Congress. As frustrating as it is, the NUS is also intensely important to the welfare of millions of students in this country. Not everyone is blessed with the luxury of a responsibly run, non-dick-

head-populated Union and Uni (despite what you might think of them, the Uni top brass are generally very amenable to our demands). The trouble is, the bureaucracy ends up being the undoing of any meaningful debates or change, as we found on the morning of the second day as we sat and debated whether to have a debate about allowing further debate on whether to have a debate or not.

At one point a procedural motion needed 2/3 of delegates to vote for it to pass, which the Chair had decided it hadn’t, but the motion to overturn the Chair’s ruling needed only a simple 50% majority.

That motion passed, so the original motion was overturned. That is some fucked up democratic maths.

The lasting impression I was left with was formed during the absolutely critical debate on whether or not there ought to be a full-time trans* officer working for the NUS to secure and expand trans* students’ rights. I was surprised to find the room split pretty much down the middle, despite the fact that the trans* caucus at the NUS LGBT conference voted overwhelmingly in favour of the idea recently. Eventually, we went to a secret ballot, the only such vote of the conference. The atmosphere in the room during and after the vote was intensely toxic. Two of the speakers in the debate wept while on stage. Even as a person without a specific stake in the debate further than wanting trans* students to feel happy and supported, I felt deeply uncomfortable. I can only imagine how dreadful the many trans* students in attendance felt.

On the train home, we found out that the motion hadn’t passed. A load of people who don’t share the struggles of trans* students had decided for them that they didn’t need more representation. I felt a bit sick. If the NUS isn’t here to represent the views of most students, and it isn’t here to represent marginalised groups like trans* students nationally, and it can’t be relied upon to deliver the grandiose promises it makes, what exactly is it for?

16.lifestyle

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Jack Dempsey, Annie Lord, Holly Suttle & Tom Tibble

Judge of who?

Holly Suttle tells us why we should chill out on making prejudgments

H

ave you ever been criticised for being yourself? Or simply felt bad just because someone made a negative comment about your appearance, or the way you look, or the way you dress? Or even perhaps on your accent, or where you come from? We’re not waking up and smelling the coffee anymore, we are waking up and smelling that tasty piece of bacon on the grill telling us to eat it - oh wait, you’re a vegetarian?

Too many people are still as judgemental as we were in society 50 years ago. Yes, things have changed, gay marriage is now legal here (finally) and people of different ethnicity are more accepted as racism has now been shunned to the depths of Hell (about time).

“Quite frankly I’d rather roll around in mud”

Yet still, it seems to be within human nature to mock other people, just because they are different.

And I think I have finally worked out what it is. It’s not a hatred for people who are different to you although sometimes it seems that way - but it is a fear of them. A fear of the unknown. This is most commonly known as xenophobia. Now, you might be thinking, why did I want to write this article?

Well I’m not sure about you, but people consider me to be fairly “normal” amongst the crowd. I’m female and dress female and identify with being female, and I am heterosexual. But why on earth should this be considered “normal”? Just because I’m female, doesn’t mean I like doing girly things like wearing make-up, or that I’m good at cooking.

Quite frankly I’d rather roll in mud. That sounds a lot more fun than burning pasta and having to scrape it out of the pan. It tastes gross, trust me.

Anyway, the point I am getting at, is that I have friends who are from all different backgrounds, one of my best friends is a cross-dresser. And so what? Why should people consider him to be different? So he likes dressing as a girl, it doesn’t make any difference to who he is in my opinion. ‘Oh, but that’s weird,’ you say? Weird for who, for you? People need to start being more accepting of others if you want this nation to move forwards in anyway.

Celebrate your amazing gay friends, as well as your fabulous straight friends, love your friends whether they are the gender they were assigned at birth or the gender that they choose to identify with. It makes absolutely no difference to their personality.

“‘Oh but that’s weird,’ you say? Weird for who, for you?”

There are so many different types of people, that I can’t even list them all right here, even if I wanted to. Everyone is so different, we shouldn’t need to even label ourselves these things anyway. So if you are one of these offenders of passing judgement, take off that chip from your shoulder and accept that we’re living in the 21st Century now. At the end of the day, we are all human. Or are we dancer?

I’m not quite sure, but I believe that it really doesn’t matter anyway. Just chill out about it, and maybe you might realise that this modernity is cooler than you. So have a great summer, shag who you want to (as long as it’s for love, not money - and use protection), then you are all good to go. You have now been successfully de-judged.

Politics in the bedroom Election season is in full swing, but what should you expect from members of the different parties when the corridors of power branch off into the bedrooms of lust? Our writers speak from terrible, terrible experience

Conservative

T

he main deal here is to not expect anything out of the ordinary with these guys. Experimental generally isn’t in their vocabulary. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes there’s a reason they don’t change things up as in ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’ and you can bet they will keep chugging away at any position to their hearts content if it doesn’t bother anyone too much. Nevertheless, underneath that tough exterior, just a teeny Nigel – ahem, sorry, nudge- will have them doubting their ideas and can be persuaded to switch up positions in no time.

On the other hand, for those of you who are scared to speak up in the bedroom and are just a little bit shy, BEWARE that your ‘hard lines’ that you really wanted eliminated may make an appearance once, twice or maybe three times in multitude much to your (and every future student’s) utmost dismay.

Ruth Loeffler

Labour

S

ome might say that when sleeping with a Labour supporter, everyone’s a winner and everyone comes first. Sounds too good to be true? Probably because it is. Imagine Labour as that guy at the party where everything looks good on the tin and he promises all sorts in the sack, then later when he’s managed to convince you, you realise you are stuck with a guy who has umm... very little to work with.

However, if you want them to fight for you, they will gladly argue down any opponent with relish (and a rather creepy expression on their face) although unfortunately their arguments may fall short of being persuasive, bearing more resemblance to drunken ramblings than actual counsel. On a positive note, they always try to make a comeback and never give up easily (until they start unpopular wars or, you know, zero out all the banks). Just do yourself a favour; if you ever want to sleep with them, refrain from searching how they eat a sandwich on YouTube.

Ruth Loeffler

Tokyo

Y

“Who needs Trident when you’ve got this level of sexual energy?”

UKIP

ou’ve woken up with a splitting headache, a sudden allergy to sunlight and, worst of all, alongside a sleeping Ukipper. You already feel slightly sordid, a little cheap, and very confused. There’s a distinct feeling that last night was, well, quite weird. This species of lover are easy to identify, it’ll come back to you slowly as you inch your way out of bed, trying not to disturb the dormant threat in bed. They’re the type who only seems appealing when you’re beyond the point of thinking straight, and in the darkness of whatever sleazy dive you’ve stumbled upon, you can almost kid yourself that the way they’re lurking in the corner alone means they’re brooding and mysterious and not merely predatory. If your hazy recollections serve you right, last night escalated very quickly. There was a definite moment of ‘What? You want me to put what where?’ and you’re half-certain there was some racial overtones to the whole thing, especially when they got the handcuffs out and told you in hushed tones that they’d always fantasised about being a border control police officer. Fifty Shades is nothing compared to what you were faced with, and the philosophy of ‘what you don’t know can’t hurt you’ is probably best applied to this situation. Get out of there quick, spend the rest of the day watching Disney films, eating ice cream and suppressing any further flashbacks with brain freeze. Most importantly, don’t admit, even to yourself, that you bedded a Ukipper.

Fiona Callow

“It’ll come back to you slowly as you inch your way out of bed”

“I

Green

t’s not very big, is it?”

“It’s actually a lot bigger than it looks. It just looks smaller because of our bloody first-past-the-post measuring system. If we switched to proportional representation you’d see that it’s actually quite a significantly-sized penis.”

The fresh-faced young Green supporter you picked up at the UK Uncut march is getting defensive. Your eyes had met over the head of an angry dreadlocked man shouting about bankers; the attraction was immediate, more of a nuclear meltdown than a renewable solar-powered buzz. Who needs Trident when you’ve got this level of sexual energy?

He’s evasive on where this relationship is going - you’re looking for commitment but he seems keener on a more informal coalition, with decisions taken on an issue-by-issue basis. Yes, he will go on that weekend minibreak to Berlin, as long as you travel by train (aviation has a terrible impact on the environment, you know). No, he’s not keen on meeting your parents.

He always wants you to switch the lights off - “the polar regions are melting faster than anywhere else on the planet, we’ve all got to do our bit” - and keeps asking if your condoms are made of ethically-sourced latex.

Where does one even buy ethically-sourced latex condoms, you wonder, resolving to trawl the Boots website later on.

“I’m going to frack you so hard that you’re leaking shale gas for a week.”

“Oh, I love it when you talk dirty to me. It’s actually a real problem though, fracking - it’s releases all sorts of deadly toxins into the-” “Will you shut the fuck up?”

Kate Bennett

T

Liberal Democrats

he only way to describe this is all smoke and no fire. If you’re of the Lib Dem persuasion, you probably spend all night whispering sweet nothings in your target’s ear, getting more and more dirty the more drinks that you buy them. You’re definitely endowed with the gift of the gab; you can talk your way into anything. Everyone agrees that they think you could show someone a good time; that you seem to know what you’re talking about, that they wouldn’t mind if you focused that flowery language on them.

But then when it gets down to getting down, I’m afraid to say, the actions just don’t quite match the hype. For starters, you just both don’t seem to be quite compatible even when it comes to kissing; your teeth keep clashing, and you’re doing the awkward head bobbing when you both keep leaning in the same way. Perhaps it’ll get better, you’ll be thinking. But it doesn’t. Your head gets stuck in your top, you forget to take off your socks, and there’s excruciating extended periods of ‘sincere’ eye contact that seem to be impossible to avoid. Everything seems very rudimentary and quite frankly boring. If you’d promised them a moderately good time, they’d still have been disappointed but you’ve made out that you’ve had more lovers than Don Draper from Mad Men. Besides, we all know that Liberal Democrats will jump into bed with a Tory without a second thought.

They’re welcome to each other.

Fiona Callow

Fancy running the country today?

The Courier

.17

Monday 20 April 2015

Culture thecourieronline.co.uk/culture

Culture Editor: Kate Bennett Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming and Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline

Blind Date

Lucas Fothergill, 1st Year English Lit meets Lauren Exell, 2nd Year English Lit

Lauren on Lucas

Whereabouts did you and Lucas decide to meet?

We met ouside Percy building, because we’re both English students and that is our stronghold.

You took Lauren to Greggs, do you think that was a good move?

Yeah I think so. She knew her Greggs, she knew which one had sit down areas etc. But we didn’t eat at Greggs! We went to my special lunch spot by the Civic Centre, where they have shit water features and lots of grass.

What were your thoughts when Lucas first approached?

I thought he was really cute, really energetic. He was looking forward to the date which was nice, because if he was a bit off that could’ve been awkward, but he was just ready to get some Greggs, which I was more than happy to do.

So what were your first impressions?

The One.

What Greggs product was chosen from their wide range of freshly baked goods?

It was a pork, apple and stuffing pasty.

Definitely The One? She was The One because, I could tell. She liked fun. She ticked all the boxes.

That sounds horrendous.

It was actually really nice, and it was a lattice actually, so not even a pasty.

What went down at your special lunch spot?

Not much. Just talked about summer, and the second year of the course—because I’m only a first year. I was just asking for tips you know, what it’s like and all that. Yeah, also, we both worked at Leeds Festival last year, so we were just talking about that and our festival exploits.

Fancy. So what did you do with your Greggs?

We took them to the erm, shit, what’s it called? [Remembers with glee] Civic Centre gardens! With what Lucas advertised as their shit water fountains.

“I was just sat there thinking, ‘you are The One’”

What kind of conversation went down by these unremarkable water features?

We covered a variety of topics, festivals was a big one.

English modules too, because he’s about to go into his second year, bless. Psycho flatmates was also a topic we covered, and I learnt about how his cousin’s flatmate had to go to rehab.

Were there any standout points during the conversation?

You’re probably better off asking her that, because I was just sitting there staring at her cranium thinking, “you are The One.” Because she is.

That sounds delightful. So after the pasties, then what?

Then we headed to Mensbar, where something quite weird happened.

Well, it’s always charming to not listen to anything your date is saying. Were there any awkward points during the date?

Well when we got some pints at Mensbar, she got the Shef classic that is diesel. I got a Strongbow Dark Fruit. Both purple drinks—some synergy going on there. And then I told her I was going to the toilet, but I wasn’t—SNAP—I was actually going to perform a song I’d penned earlier, titled: ‘Lauren Exell (The Planet Earth of My Life)’. The lyrics are: [extremely high pitched] “Lau-ren, Lau-ren, the planet Earth of my life!” And it’s just that over and over again really, while I strummed the only chord I know on the guitar.

Mm? I’d only had a diesel and he’d only had a Strongbow Dark Fruits, but then all of a sudden he came back from the toilets and was like, “Lauren, Lauren, come here I’ve got something to show you.” So I started to follow him, and the next thing I knew he’d picked up the guitar in the little stage area and started to do an impromptu, choirboy style serenade about Lauren Exell.

That’s you.

That is me. It was… I don’t know, he just kept singing my name really.

How do you think the performance went?

In my head, she’d probably swoon, probably clap, she’d cheer, shout my name, and run onto the stage afterwards, just grab me and say, “Lucas, you are The One.” But in real life, it was terrifying. It was 2pm, and lots of people were just eating their lunch, on their own, and I could feel hatred towards me just flowing out. I’ve never felt more hated in my life.

How was that received by the folks in Mensbar?

Well the people in Mensbar at, what, about two o’ clock on a Friday afternoon, eating lunch, were looking at him a bit like he was a pyscho. But I really enjoyed it. It was nice that someone thought that would, you know, make me happy.

As long as that’s what it did, but was it a good song?

I mean, I wouldn’t say it was in tune exactly, but the title was ‘Lauren Exell (The Planet Earth of My Life)’, so how can I possibly criticise that? I guess it was a little strange, but if a boy’s prepared to do that for me, I could only be pleased.

But she liked it?

Well she was just sitting there on her own. I guess it’s weird when you go on a date with a guy and he serenades you with a song… I hope she doesn’t think I’m a serial killer.

Did he look you in the eye during?

At some points he did, yes, which was maybe a little off-putting, but what’s a girl to do?

How did the date come to a close then?

It came to a close when she went to have a cigarette and I walked off, because I hate smokers. I like healthy things, like music.

Did the date erupt into a volcano of romance after the serenade?

That might happen on a future date, but no, not quite. Not overtly, anyway.

Do you feel like anything could have gone better on the date?

She was great. She did everything that would be expected of a sane person. I think maybe I should learn more than G on the guitar, but that’s about it.

Do you have future dates planned?

For the moment, I think Lucas is a lovely lad, and if he asked me on another date, I probably wouldn’t say no, especially if he writes more songs.

Would you change anything about the date if you could?

Lucas didn’t pay for my pasty. We paid both on our own credit cards, for Greggs, which made me sad.

If Lucas was an animal, what would he be?

I feel like he’d be a chinchilla. Or a hamster, just spinning round on a wheel trying to release all his energy.

Lucas on Lauren

Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

So do you think you’ll be seeing much of Lauren again?

Yeah, hopefully soon. Invited her to a party tonight so…

I REALLY HOPE SHE COMES. What animal was Lauren?

Duck, because I like ducks, and Lauren is The One.

18.lifestyle lifestyle

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Jack Dempsey, Annie Lord, Holly Suttle and Tom Tibble

Serve me?

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I

magine the scenario: you’re having a great night in Club Trop but your drunken buzz begins to wear off in the first half hour of queueing in the freezing cold. Goddamn, you can’t face this mob without being smashed, and I don’t know if I’m the only one who has this, but I feel incapable of dancing with two hands.

One of them MUST be occupied by a glass or bottle; just to hide the awkwardness and disappointment of yet another Jason Derulo song. You hope to make a quick dash to the bar hoping to get a drink before—AH NO I LOVE THIS SONG! You need that drink but this is your FAVOURITE. Having been in both positions in front and behind the bar, here are some of my tips to get served first.

Position As soon as someone leaves a space, slide in sideways, or even stage a drunken fall which conveniently leads you to rest on the bar at the front of the queue. Just remember, courtesy doesn’t exist when soberness is swiftly catching up with you, and you get extra points if you blame the pushing on the people behind you—all the better to distract the people in front.

“I don’t like to admit that I serve a fit guy over the rest, but yes, I totally do that” Eye contact

English social etiquette has an odd relationship with eye contact—we hate it. One of the most effective ways to get served first is to openly stare out your barmaid or man. Believe me, it is guaranteed to guilt trip them and freak them out to the point where they will serve you just to stop that horrible feeling of someone watching your every move.

No heckling

Whilst eye contact is key, you must adhere to a strict ‘NO HECKLING’ rule at all times. I mean none at all. I have seen people get destroyed for as much as an exaggerated sigh or muttering under their breath. Remember who has the power here and be aware that opening your mouth is an almost certainly guaranteed to quadruple your waiting time.

Stand alone

I know that a busy club isn’t the best place to be by yourself and potentially lose your friends, but there is nothing less appealing to a barman or maid than a huge group of drunk lads and lasses shrieking “oh wait how many Tequila, Sambuca anyone? Has anyone got change?!” This is literally your worst nightmare. Ditch your friends if you want quick service or, alternatively, pretend you’re alone until you have the barman’s undivided attention and only then let the chaos unfold.

Presentation I don’t like to admit that I’m that shallow to serve a fit guy before everyone else but the truth is, yes, I probably will. My fellow flatmate also admits that he’ll automatically go for girls with a smile on their face, although this may be tricky to master whilst also staring, so please try to make sure you don’t look too deranged. Composure is key—if you look too smashed they’ll probably assume that you might need a wait before the next drink.

You must be having a bath Kate Bennett RQ WKH ¿ YH WKLQJV IRXQG LQ HYHU\ VWXGHQW EDWKURRP

S

tudents are predictable creatures when it comes to home decor: no digs are complete without the obligatory curling Pulp Fiction poster, the paper globe lampshades from IKEA, and the lone length of pastel-coloured bunting hung up in the living room to add a bit of ‘edge’ to your magnolia walls and wood-effect linoleum. Nowhere, though, is this predictability more openly manifested than in the cesspit of human filth that is the student bathroom. Let’s take a peek behind that mouldy plastic shower curtain to see the riches beyond.

1

Shower pouf

There’s always someone who brings one of these along and leaves it dangling from the showerhead like a plague-ridden exotic flower-vagina hybrid, greased with soap slime and gradually disintegrating into something that resembles a damp bandage. Does anyone seriously, genuinely use these things? Do they work? Were they not invented for the sole purpose of padding out those Body Shop gift boxes your gran gets you every Christmas because she can’t remember which grandchild you are and, hey, everyone likes the smell of artificial strawberry? Just use a fucking sponge.

2

Wanky air freshener

You know the ones - tacky white plastic things balanced on the toilet cistern, ostensibly designed to look modern and architectural but actually just looking like a shitty air freshener. Generally, these works of art have been sitting there since approximately 2009 and have long since given up their

job of dispelling the apocalyptic results of your flatmate’s Vindaloo addiction. If you get up close and have a sniff you can almost detect the smell of existential despair and landlordly neglect.

3

Rogue hair

If it’s a female-dominated house, every plughole will be festooned with a garland of damp hair that no one’s willing to take any responsibility for and thus ends up blocking all the drains, so that every shower you take ends with you standing up to your ankles in cloudy water while stray pubes float merrily past. In a male household, the advent of electric beard trimmers mean that every available surface will be sprinkled liberally with bits of stubble, like hundreds and thousands on a particularly gross, yellowing enamel cake.

4

Empty tooth-­ paste tubes

5

Useless liquid

tion upon which the rest of them rely - but she’s also the one nobody really gives much of a shit about, when people remember her at all. There are parallels to be drawn between Vanessa White and liquid hand soap the forgotten trooper of the bathroom world. “Oh, we don’t need to buy any more, we’ll just water it down a bit.” Wateringdown continues ad infinitum until you’re essentially washing your hands with yellowish water. Gross, guys. Start buying soap.

One of the ten commandments of student living is that when it comes to toothpaste, it’s every man and woman for his or herself. You can tell a lot about your flatmates from their toothpaste choice.

Supermarket value? Stage an intervention before they start resembling Shane McGowan.

One of those plastic tubes with the push button? Their parents are still doing the online shop for them. Oral B? Top human being.

Consider, if you will, The Saturdays.

Vanessa White is arguably the most talented member of the Saturdays, the solid founda-

Date like a champ

Josh Nicholson thinks he knows how to woo, and wants everyone to know it

T

he other week, I went on The Courier blind date and was, as expected, favourably reviewed. Since then, I have received a flurry of questions about exactly how I pulled it off, which made me realise that there is a public demand out there for top quality dating advice.

Therefore, I have decided to bestow my wisdom upon you norms with this guide on how to date like a 21st century gentleman.

“They will know a thing or two about you from the inevitable pre-date Facebook stalk, but they aren’t going to say. It’s a test. He who holds his nerve the longest shall succeed.”

First, dress is important. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, turn up in a baggy t-shirt, rolled up jeans and white socks, finished with the finest boat shoes Office has to offer. You lazy slob. Effort is important and the only feasible solution is a top hat, tuxedo and cane combo. Ladies appreciate the finer things in life and a well suited man is one of those things.

You go with that or a nice shirt, jeans and smart shoes combo which is equally as good but not quite as impressive.

Second, etiquette. Dates are tricky at the best of times with never knowing where you stand, but if you turn up and don’t offer your beautiful companion a beverage first then it’s game over my friend.

Always be the first to offer to buy the drinks, it shows you are actually a nice person and aren’t just going to do a hit and run. The ball is then in her court as to whether she accepts, offers the next one,

or orders the most expensive bottle of wine they have, but at least she knows you care.

Furthermore, always compliment what she is wearing. She will look lovely. She’s made the effort to come and see your ugly mug of a face, the least you can do is tell her the effort was, even if not necessary or required, worth it. Further to these efforts, ensure that you turn up early to the Metro or venue of said date as if you’re late you look a) like you can’t be arsed and b) like you’re a complete pretty boy who would rather spend more time looking at his hair than an attractive man/woman/ any other gender identity anyway.

Thirdly and finally, never big yourself up too much. Be honest, but not too honest; all those parental clichés were worth something after all. You two have to take time to get to know each other, if you let it all out straight away then what is there left to talk about? For instance, you’ve got the staple UNAY convos about nights out, courses, first year halls and funny stories about your mates. But remain mysterious, my friend. They may know a thing or two about you from the inevitable predate Facebook stalk, but they aren’t going to tell you that they know. It’s a test. Only the bravest shall move forward. He who holds his nerve the longest shall succeed.

So all in all, it’s a case of sense and sensibility, pride and not showing prejudice and the importance of being earnest. Dress well, drink wisely and don’t let the conversation stop, unless it’s for a cheeky snog (OOIII OIIIII etc). Doubtless dates are a nerve wracking experience, I’m new to the game and I don’t understand the rules. That is however life and like Monopoly, finding the right person and having a good date is like having a hotel on Mayfair, you’re bound to win and everyone else may as well give up.

The Courier

lifestyle.19

Monday 27 April 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle

Let’s roll to Sozopol

How to speak politicalese

Eve Kershaw takes you round her holiday hotspot in Bulgaria

W

here is Sozopol you might ask? Maybe it sounds like a foreign food dish? Well you would be very wrong! It’s a stunning ancient town on the southern Bulgarian Black Sea coast. Last summer I was THAT tourist, taking pictures of anything and everything, getting lost and looking sunburnt; I was stunned by not only the scenery but the culture and people too, it was not what I was expecting. Clear blue seas, cobbled streets and the perfect sandy beach; the kind that you can lie on without finding rocks digging into your back from beneath your towel.

“I was THAT tourist, taking pictures of anything and everything, getting lost and getting sunburnt”

taurants and bars there was the option of clubbing or an outdoor cinema. Oh and I have forgotten to mention it’s extremely student budget friendly!

If you haven’t been to Bulgaria before then you may not realise that it’s cheap, when I say cheap I mean very! The option of a day trip to Burgas is also there but in all honestly wandering around the smaller towns surrounding the bay of Sozopol was much more interesting. On the other hand if you like jumping off 20ft piers into the sea then Burgas is your place! The food as well! Wow! (If you are not a fish person I’m sorry but you have to try it again!) The menus have anything and everything

on it: Pasta, pizza, fish you name it! I tried the local shark steaks and catfish, both of which were delicious and cheap! As a group of four eating starters, mains and desserts plus drinks we spent around £35 for all of that together, so probably a third of what you would pay at an equal restaurant in the UK. The culture on delivering and the timing of food however is something to get used to, but every culture is different! Sozopol is a beautiful place with something for everyone. It’s student friendly, being cheap, plus one and a half hours up the coast is Sunny Beach, and I’m sure most students know about their night life!

If someone in a PC ever attempts to defend the politics of the Conservative party, maybe their cuts to public spending or long-term economic plan, ask them where they went to school, and what their dad does for a living. If it has a name like Cheltenham, or Haberdashers, or if their dad wears a tie to work, scream “SILVER SPOON!” at them and let them know they have no idea what life is like on the streets (which is where you raised yourself from the age of three).

Eds will roll

Recipe: DIY pot noodle Kate Bennett on how to DIY your own Pot Noodles (‘Not Noodles’, if you will)

I

I

f you’re like me (and I pray for Britain’s sake you aren’t), words such as ‘deficit’ and ‘austerity’ will make you damp with terror, because they’re the exact kind of words used by our fearsome opposites—people who actually know what they’re talking about. Not only do these people not turn over when the news comes on, they also read newspapers, like, all the way through. But they don’t just do these impossible tasks because they’re told to—they actually want to. Fortunately for us lazy shit-munchers, the dreaded PC (political conversation) can be navigated with little research if you know what you’re doing.

Tory fury

On arrival I bumped into an English couple who said they’d been visiting for years and that on return to the UK I should tell everyone how terrible it was just to keep tourism from spoiling the place, so before we get any further into this article… “shh” and keep this between your peers, oh, and the rest of The Courier readers. To be fair when I wondered twenty five minutes down the coast it did start to begin to look a bit like Blackpool with arcades and piers. Despite that, Sozopol itself still somehow largely managed to stay a lot less tacky. It was more focused on maintaining its history from what I could see. Cultural markets in the city centre and the remains of the old town with information for those interested. The only bit I could see being a result of tourism was the hot corn on the cob stands on every street corner and some dress up photo booths on the main street. Thankfully it was easy to find bars where the locals drank and the local street style.

When you weren’t sunbathing on the amazing beaches you could go banana boating or paragliding and in the evenings along with the many res-

know, I know. When it comes to your lunch it’s always easier and generally more tasty to buy it in town, rather than spending ten minutes knocking up an ultimately dissatisfying sandwich or limp salad from whatever you’ve got lying around in your kitchen fridge.

You silence the voice in the back of your head

Jack Dempsey teaches us how to talk like an MP

telling you that you can’t afford to eat out every day and hand over your debit card regardless, ignoring the slight shrivelling feeling you’re experiencing in the region of your soul.

I am here to help you break this unhappy cycle of overpriced chicken salad sandwiches, weird vegetable crisps and those fucking yoghurt crunch pots

“I am here to help you break the cycle of weird vegetable crisps and those fucking yoghurt crunch pots that explode everywhere”

that explode all over everything in your general vicinity when you open them. For very little effort at all you can make your own cheap, healthy and CUSTOMISABLE Pot Noodle knock-offs at home to take into uni – then all you need to do is pour boiling water on.

You will need: A Tupperware or thermal mug, with a secure lid A nest of dried noodles or some instant noodles Whatever frozen vegetables you like best (I go for green beans, mushrooms, sliced peppers and sliced carrots) Some pieces of chilled, pre-cooked meat (optional – vegetarians could chuck in some tofu instead, or just stick with the vegetables) Flavouring of your choice (all will be explained) Method: 1. Mug. 2. Put your flavouring in the mug. Your flavouring can be whatever you like, as long as it will go well with noodles and mix well with boiling water.

Some suggestions: Miso soup powder A teaspoon or two of your favourite curry paste (Thai curry pastes work especially well) A mixture of minced/powdered garlic and ginger You get the idea. Have an experiment.

3. Add seasoning, if you want.

4. Put your frozen vegetables and optional meat on top of the flavouring.

5. Put your noodles on top of everything else.

6. Secure the lid and take into uni.

7. Wait until hungry, pour on boiling water, wait for noodles to soften, devour.

8. That’s it.

Ripping Miliband is definitely on trend this season, mostly amongst Daily Mail readers. Whether it’s for tonguing a bacon sandwich, his past flings, fratricide, or just generally existing, Milliband is regularly on the wrong end of the tabloid headlines. But if the precious Northern London geek is attacked in your company, be sure to remind everyone that Ed may be a bit of a stiffy, but by God, he’s got Balls.

Fib Dems

Any defence of Nick Clegg and you know where to go. It rhymes with magician’s knees and it’s sucking every student in the country dry. So there you are, it’s a sure fire winner. If someone starts to explain how all politicians make promises they can’t always keep, or starts blabbing about the pressures of a coalition, just stand up and say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you went to ETON,” and everyone will know they’re a right batty boy.

Ukipper

Imagine a world where PMs making racial slurs and dressing up like Hitler was commonplace— that is the world that Ukip supporters dream of.

No, the Romanian man next door is not to blame for your wife leaving you, and no, you will not get a cheaper pint once they deport the Polish bar staff.

Farage may have charisma, but did a few other bad guys, and it didn’t turn out so well for them.

Keen 4 Green

Green is aite actually. Green might even get you laid at a party. They’re the party for the romantic idealist—racism isn’t racy and sceptics aren’t sexy. “He wants an Australian PM, now this guy is edgy!”, your listener will think as you wax fantastic about Natalie Bennett’s attempt to heal the planet—one Grand National cancellation at a time.

20.fashion

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Amy O’Rourke and Hannah Fitton Online Fashion Editor: Hannah Goldstein

Let’s a-­ dress this Fran Tomlinson

Causing a media frenzy, Jayden Smith steps out in a dress, and he’s pulling it off

A

s many of you may know, pictures of Jaden Smith wearing a skirt have become rather a hot topic for many celebrity online publications in the past few weeks. Let’s face it, a teenage boy wearing a skirt is not something we see every day.

There is undoubtedly a growing trend of ‘androgynous style’, giving rise to new fashion opportunities for both men and women, something which Jaden has embraced. The young Smith has managed to utilise his fame to kick start discussions we should be having about gender: how many people still show prejudice towards those simply expressing individuality, and how something as small as a skirt seems to define us. Ultimately I’m asking: why can’t men wear skirts if they want to?

Jaden is by no means the first guy to wear clothes seen as ‘feminine’. Kanye West, Jared Leto and even Vin Diesel are among several male celebrities who have in the past tried to alter preconceived ideas about fashion and braved the skirt in the name of fashion. It’s companies too: just last year Selfridges in London introduced an ‘Agender’ range, devoted to supplying fashionable, unisex clothing to the general public. For some this may be a controversial step forwards, but there have been many people who have missed the point in ‘Agender’ fashion. We must remember however that it was controversial for a woman to wear trousers up until the early 1900s – fashion obviously changes with the times.

“His media following may influence more people to have unique ideas about their own style” Jaden’s attempt at joining this much needed fashion conversation is interesting, although not necessarily surprising (his twitter account is almost infamous for the convoluted comments he makes about life in general). However, his voice on social media clearly wants to challenge people’s views on ‘gendered’ clothes. After Instagramming a photo to his 1.8 million followers with the caption “Went To Topshop To Buy Some Girl Clothes, I Mean “Clothes””, he received many positive responses.

His widespread media following may influence more and more people to have unique ideas about their own style, which is brilliant in an age where fashion is so subjective.

The fact of the matter is, much of the way we have been traditionally taught to look at fashion is by placing clothes into male and female categories.

This is despite androgyny becoming increasingly more accessible, and subsequently a new type of modelling community – most famously Andrej Pejic, who until recently described himself as living “in between genders”, modelling both men’s and women’s clothes.

Jaden’s choice in wearing a skirt makes this issue ‘mainstream’, and gives the teenagers of today food for thought when it comes how and why we judge the clothes people wear. We are a long way off from seeing lads walk round campus in dresses and skirts, but I hope that the growing trend for nonconformity helps redefine people’s views on fashion.

Can you knit it?

Victoria Thewlis looks into the hottest summer trend-­ crochet

O

ne of this seasons must haves is crochet.

It’s a great style for spring/summer as its light and wearable. We see crochet come in every year when the weather gets warmer, but this year it’s bigger than before.

This year it’s not just crochet waistcoats that we’re seeing but so many other items of clothing, and it is being done in a fresh new way.

Crochet waistcoats are one of the simplest ways to get the look and they can be worn with almost everything. They are also great for holidays and make a fab beach cover up. Crochet is a great way to get the ‘70s look that’s trendy at the moment without going full on flares. However, if you do dare to try the flare, a crochet top or waistcoat with fringing would be a good item to pair with them.

“There are loads of retro crochet cardigans in the vintage shops...these are great if you want a unique look for a fraction of the high-street price” This year crochet shorts are a must have item and for the summer they are a fab item to have in your wardrobe. The ones we are seeing in the shops at the moment are black or white and in elegant floral crochet designs, and they are a really flattering short if you’re conscious of your bum and thighs.

For those cooler summer days crochet jumpers are a great piece to own as they keep you covered up but are not as hot as thicker jumpers. Crochet jumpers layered with a top underneath will also be ideal item to have for autumn/winter, so you can afford to invest in a nice jumper that you’ll wear all

year round. We see crochet in fashion year in and year out, so opting for a quality piece of crochet in a timeless print will last years and years.

At the moment there are loads of great crochet dresses around, ranging simple crochet designs to bolder patterned ones.

A dress is a more daring way to wear crochet so keep the rest of your outfit simple. At the Brit Awards this year Kim Kardashian showed her appreciation for crochet, wearing a black crochet jumpsuit. If you don’t want to be as out there as Kim then there are alternatives on the high street that have just small amounts of crochet that show less skin.

As crochet has been around for decades, there are loads of retro crochet cardigans in the vintage and charity shops that you can find. These are great if you want a unique look for a fraction of the high street price. So, whatever crochet piece you go for, whether you’ve bought it or made it yourself, you can guarantee you’ll be bang on trend.

all items; Topshop

You’ve got a trend in me Lucy Snowden heads onto campus and asks whether we should dare to bare this summer with the A-­Line denim skirt Hannah, 3rd year English Literature

I love that denim is back this season and especially in the form of a skirt. The high necked top keeps it casual ,but you could add a statement necklace as a way of jazzing it up for the evening.

Ellie, 2nd year English Literature

The denim skirt is the staple of any successful wardrobe. Wonderfully inoffensive and coming in all shapes and sizes, the possibilities are endless. Alexa Chung fans can opt for the high waisted denim skirt, grandmas can go for a patchwork floor length number. Timeless chic.

Amy, 3rd year Media & Communications

I love this skirt, it is the perfect high street copy of Alexa Chung’s version for AG Denim, without the hefty price tag. I will definitely be heading to Topshop to buy this.

What do the editors think?

The A-Line shape of the skirt is so flattering, and looks amazing both during the day with a slouchy tee and sandals, and dressed up with heels for an evening look. Keep the colours neutral, and choose pieces with tassels or crochet detail to achieve a cool, festival vibe.

Helen, 3rd year English Literature

I love how the denim skirt has transcended the past 50 years; every era has its own take on it which means it’s a versatile staple of everyone’s wardrobe. I’m all for the return of denim skirts; they’re super easy to wear and can be worn from lecture to pub effortlessly.

Rosie, 3rd year Philosophy

I’ve got a sugar-eye for the A-line cut this spring as it’s a classic staple with a thousand faces. With its cute little pockets or brass buttons, it looks gorgeous dressing up with a cute 50s-style polka dot shirt or down with a statement Tshirt.

Hannah, 3rd year English Literature

Oh how the trends do cycle. My mom got married in a denim skirt, so if you want to look like an ex-Christian girl finding her freedom by baring her thighs and marrying a long-haired Jew from L.A. then rock it like it’s the 70s.

Josh, 3rd year Sociology I think the skirt’s nice, it’s a bit different and the buttons down the middle make a good focal point (and make her legs look great). If I saw a girl wearing this skirt, I’d think she was making a bit of a statement, which is good (I think).

The Courier

fashion.21

Monday 27 April 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion Instagram:@thecourierfashion | Facebook: facebook.com/thecourierfash |Email: c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk |

Snapped on campus Lottie Bovill and Rosie Butler snap the most stylish on campus

Best of Coachella Lauren Williamson

Coachella envy? Don’t worry here’s the low down on the festival’s hottest looks

F

estival season will soon be upon us and kicking it off in style was a ray of fashionista’s at the festival of the year, Coachella.

Catering for a diverse range of acts accompanied by its huge all-star attendance, snapchat had the whole thing covered allowing us a sneak preview into who was wearing what.

Statements were key at Coachella and a few styles shone through that are must haves for our summer style. Think crochet, fringing, prints and embroidery as the 70s comes back with a vengeance. Fashion favourites Kate Bosworth and Rosie Huntington-Whitley nailed the festival look as they styled their looks with ease, putting a spin on the classic clean and crisp white ensembles.

The duo shone in each look throughout the weekends events using white as a base colour adding a touch of glamour and elegance that isn’t normally associated with festivals especially here in the UK, but is heavily showcased at California’s Coachella festival. Crochet seemed to be the favourite supported in some way or another by everyone from Gigi Hadid to Jourdan Dunn, but fellow supermodel Rosie stole the show in a plunging crocheted Chloè mini dress. Rosie let the detailing do the talking by making sure the rest of the look was toned down with muted hues and minimal accessories.

“Jamie Chung rocked it in a white maxi dress adding some black biker boots”

Is thin not ‘in’?

Megan Arianna Law discusses the implications of discusses the implications of France’s ban on models with a BMI of under 18

E

arlier this month, French lawmakers approved a bill to ban super skinny models from the runway, in the hopes of discouraging eating disorders in the models that wear the clothes and the young girls who admire them.

In essence, its a moral step in the right direction for both government and industry – models will no longer have to wear themselves thin (excuse the pun) to be at their lowest possible weight, and with rule breaker employers facing steep fines as large as €75,000, and prison sentences of up to six months, the seriousness with which officials are now taking EDs is clear - and well warranted.

After first hearing about the ban, the body-positive feminist in me was fist pumping the air. But when I actually thought about it, I realized: this isn’t progress; it’s another amendment to the endless tick list of how a woman ‘should’ be.

Models will face exclusion from the French fashion scene if they have a BMI of 18 or below – this considered ‘underweight’. While I’m not dismissing the anorexic/weight-obsessed culture rife within the fashion world, it is worth remembering some models, some people, are naturally that thin, and the proposal completely excludes this minority, marking them as ‘abnormal’, and not worthy of employment because of their size.

The BMI is a generalized guide, and a yardstick

too blunt to invoke as a measure of what is and isn’t healthy. Those who are naturally underweight already face delegitimisation, their size invalidated by this index. By discriminating against those born ultra-thin, as well as contributing to the demanding list of model criteria, the ban will only instigate more stigma and through the government’s association, promote the dangerous synonym ‘anorexic’ for ‘naturally thin’.

Beyond thin-shaming, the proposal also demonstrates a flagrant lack of awareness on part of the lawmakers, regarding the financial repercussions of utilizing weight bans. If passed, a model of legally approved BMI would simply not be employed beyond France to surrounding fashion capitals such as London and Milan, meaning French model agencies would lose their competitive edge.

In order to sustain a career, the bill could somewhat ironically prompt dangerous eating habits like yoyo dieting, as top models signed outside of France with their sights on PFW would have to stack on the weight, then lose it as soon as the job is done. Worldwide fashion weeks feature the same faces, meaning the current elites, like Cara Delevingne and Gemma Ward, would be subject to relentless pressure to constantly adjust their bodies to fluctuating national standards, less Paris loses its position at the forefront of the fashion industry.

“When I actually thought about it, I realised: this isn’t progress, it’s another amendment to the endless tick list of how a woman ‘should be”

Frankly, it seems somewhat idealistic as well to assume erasing the bottom end of the BMI scale will erase the fashion world’s contribution to diet culture. Just because size 000s (yes, that’s an actual size now) are no longer allowed to walk, a wonderful rainbow of diverse shapes and sizes is not simply just going to crop up. We live in a world where women are expected to be as small as possible, and then wear clothes prescribed for their shape, like each body type is some sort of ailment. Designers, who are ultimately trying to sell, are not going to disrupt this uncomfortable comfort zone on the lawmakers’ whim, but rather employ models on the absolute threshold. It’s not radical change; it’s a +1 inch adjustment.

With eating disorders on the rise, France’s initiative to counteract the damaging

For Kate embroidery was her chosen style as she worked the look over two days and let the finer detailing be key evolving past the infamous boho styles and denim shorts combo that has been heavily associated with festival style. First, in a lovely white skirt, that had a new twist on embellishment as they were muted and raised teamed with a 70s folklore shirt creating a modern and sophisticated look to rock at a festival. Day 2 was bright and bolder in a Navajo styled jacket with a variation of colour and texture worked over a simplistic white t-shirt dress.

Kate and Rosie were not the only ones who chose white as their festival go-to colour, but whilst their statements were made subtle others chose theirs to be much bolder. Jamie Chung rocked it in a white maxi dress adding some black biker boots and a heavy statement necklace, making her look more punk rocker rather than garden party chic. Gigi and Kendall Jenner also chose to support statement necklaces accompanying with tan and suede cover-ups, reverting back to our beloved seventies fringing ensembles, which is a festival look we can carry through the summer season, that may be more mud-friendly than white due to the infamous UK festival weather.

22.fashionfeatures

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

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Stuck for the perfect present? The Fashion Editors and Daisy Billowes bring you the ultimate 21st gift guide

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The Courier

featuresfashion.23

Monday 27 April 2015

Nina knows best: graduation special

Our resident fashion agony aunt Nina Hamer scours the high VWUHHW WR ¿ QG WKH SHUIHFW RXW¿ W IRU WKH ELJ GD\

The shirt and trouser combo can be worn up or down with a sleek jacket, fancy shoes or just some slip on pumps - but, for this occasion, I think this combination is a winner. Especially the grandad-style loafers.

I love this laid-back boho look - and who doesn’t love a classic red dress in summer!?

What’s more, both the dress and accessories will be perfect for those well-deserved beach holidays.

New Look shoes, £24.99 New Look pants, £19.99 White Stuff shirt, £47.50 Topman pocket square, £6

Topshop dress £28 Topshop clutch £32 New Look necklace, £7.99

Graduation season is upon us, which means you need to start thinking about jobs/future prospects/being a real adult - but more importantly, what you going to wear on the big day! I know, this is probably the last thing on your mind as most of you, like me, are enduring what feels like a slow and painful dissertation-induced death. But not to worry, I have selected some show-stopping pieces so you can end your uni career in style. (That is, before you get drunk enough not to care what you’re wearing/where you are/ what you’re going to do for the rest of your life.) Enjoy.

If you aren’t feeling the formal two-piece look, this outfit is your best bet, especially if it’s hot - the cotton shirt and trouser combo is lightweight, comfortable, and easily transferable for a boozy night on the tiles.

Next shirt, £20 Next trousers, £22.99

You’re sure to look the most dapper of the bunch in this classy two piece navy suit. I would go for a fresh white shirt underneath and avoid a turtle neck - a classic look is always better. Unless you’re partial to a more ‘Bijou club-promoter’ vibe.

Suit by Marks and Spencer, £199 Topman pocket square, £6 Topman shoes, £50

24.beauty

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Beauty Editors: Charlotte Davies and Charlotte Maxwell Online Editor: Kathy Davidson

Let the tresses see the oil Ifza Tindall talks us WKURXJK WKH EHQH¿ WV RI using hair oils

I

’d had years of hearing my mum tell me coconut oil would be more worthwhile than any other hair and body moisturiser product on the market, and for years I thought, ‘how could this be so?!’ I contested but eventually gave in- 5 years ago. Since then it has been a staple product in my beauty drawer.

The product I vow by is Extra Virgin Coconut Oil. I want to note that previously, I had been using a normal coconut oil. Although it was pure it didn’t work half as well as the extra virgin. I would apply it to my scalp and once sunk in would make little or no difference. And the same can be said for applying it to the skin, once applied onto the skin it felt as though there was nothing applied to begin with. The extra virgin oil however leaves my skin feeling moisturised for hours. It usually comes in a solid white block which you can melt by rubbing in between your hands.

Cute at Coachella A

mid folksy embroidery, frayed denim and the revival of fringing and suede that swept through Indio, California, Coachella’s annual ode to bohemia showcased festival beauty at its finest. Coachella beauty looks are sure having us anxiously waiting the summer festival season.

Sadly, the majority of Newcastle University students haven’t made it to the festival, but not to worry, because the models and actresses who took the California music festival by storm documented every moment on Instagram. To start off, Kendall Jenner has taken a decade that beauty forgot and made it something to remember- a modern update of the century in luxe bohemia with gold accessories complementing her golden skin. ‘Lived-in

“Rubbing coconut oil into my scalp calms the dry sensation by 50% reducing the flakes considerably and in turn boosting my confidence”

As well as skin, Coconut oil is brilliant for maintenance of hair.

Firstly I use coconut oil on the ends of my hair.

I rub a spoonful in between my hands and then when in oil form I rub it from mid to end of the hair. I’d usually leave it for a few hours, overnight even and then wash it off leaving my hair soft and well nourished. Secondly, having suffered with psoriasis for years (similar to eczema) on my scalp, I have struggled with a flaky scalp leaving me feeling conscious and embarrassed. Rubbing coconut oil into my scalp however calms the dry sensation by 50% reducing the flakes considerably and in turn boosting my confidence! A win win situation.

“Wearing mascara makes the lashes brittle and susceptible to breaking. I noticed a difference within a few weeks of using the oil on my lashes”

Thirdly I would like to note the use of coconut to encourage hair growth. Although this is a debatable comment with regards to head hair, I have noticed a massive increase in the length of my eyelashes with use of the coconut oil on my face. It moisturises the eyelashes, which, after all the mascaras we use, is essential. Wearing mascara makes the lashes brittle and susceptible to breaking. I noticed a difference within a few weeks of using the oil on my lashes. They felt stronger when rubbing my eyes, curlier and even seemed to gain length.

This inexpensive beauty product throws many of its pricier counterparts out of the water. It’s a definite must have in my beauty drawer.

Kendall Jenner (@kendalljenner)

Gigi Hadid (@gigihadid)

and wearable’ summed up the Jenner’s Coachella beauty look, and a nod to the 70’s and modern minimalistic trends captivated Cali. For the eyes, there was the pairing of partially smudged sultry brown eyes, with a simple 70’s sweep of colour placed all over the lid, and a darker tone smudged in the corner of the eye for added definition. Jenner made sure to kept it cool with her middle part finger-raked windswept textures that framed her face perfectly.

Model Gigi Hadid tended to favour all things low-key at Coachella and like Jenner opted for accessories near to her blonde mane which acted as the focal point for her look. The model rocked crystal stickers, positioned across her forehead to mirror her bold brows. For Hadid, lets not forget her Coachella manicure to lust over: a departure from the previous nude trend, Hadid reminds us of nail arts merits. Featuring a paisley print, a palm tree and even an evil eye, all in a multitude of colours, from pastel to metallic. It somehow words perfectly because it is imperfectly random and works with her minimal makeup. A delicate clean base for a summer transition and lips a zero maintenance semi-matte nude with a light sweep of blush made for a day in the dessert. From a flawless complexion to a real glowing offering, barelythere make up was seen to be incorporated into Hadids look to achieve a natural feminine flushbare skin has never been so covetable.

Kate Bosworth’s look shows how easy it is to incorporate orange-toned hue lipsticks. Adding a

Flo Davies talks us through her top three looks from the American festival pop of colour by applying a bright coral calls for effortless chic for this festival look. Like Hadid and Jenner, she wore a natural base as to allow for attention to be drawn to certain aspects of the look.

For hair, Bosworth’s nod to past trends featured a half-up, half-down style, with a grungy slept-in vibe: achieved by using dry shampoo to create texture and adding a middle part plait, starting from the crown and working to the forehead for added flair. The look was given the finishing touches by taking a piece of hair, starting above the ears to create the half-up, half-down knot. Nothing illustrates the resurgence of the 70’s more succinctly than the best of Coachella beauty. Yes, the bohemia that so prevailed in a decade that time forgot has permeated Aprils Instagram homepage.

Kate Bosworth (@katebosworth)

There’s a kink in my roots Beauty Editor Charlotte Maxwell discusses why black hair is still such a talking point

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here’s no denying that black hair has always been a talking point- everyone seems to have an opinion on it. Last week, Northern Stage hosted Cynthia Butare and Mundia Situmbeko’s documentary, Kickin’ It with the Kinks.

The film explores afro hair texture, the history of black hair, societal norms and expectations and the dangers of chemicals to this hair type. It considers more than just the hair itself and looks into the lives of women who have natural hair, relaxed (chemically straightened) hair, permed hair, weaves and braids in all their variety. It was interesting to observe a debate that was recorded with Manchester Met’s Afro-Caribbean Society and to listen to the varying views among men and women in the group about the acceptability of natural hair and what role it really plays within someone’s identity. Whilst watching, I felt as though I was revisiting stages of my personal hair journey and was somewhat thankful that I returned to my natural curls when I did.

There is the common misconception amongst many races that afro hair is unmanageable- which are highly untrue. As highlighted by one woman featured in the documentary, something is only unmanageable if you do not know how to manage it; education is key. Hair education (or hairducation) may well be the way to ensure that ‘going natural’ is much more than just a ‘trend’. Like all things, once a trend booms it will tail off- some people will continue to follow it whilst others will try something different or go back to something they did previously. However, if we kill the initial misconception that a challenge lies ahead then we are already over one of the biggest hurdles on the route to the natural revolution.

However, undoing the mindless feeding of Euro-

“#Teamnatural is not a phenomenon that started last week”

centric beauty standards to generation after generation of women will not be easily undone. People always want what they don’t have (after all, we’re only human) and when the media parades you a circus of long flowing locks on the likes of Kim Kardashian, Nicole Scherzinger and Cheryl Fernandez-Versini, it’s no surprise that we may begin to wonder if a little less kink does go a long way.

The chances of us seeing a woman with an afro advertising a hair product on TV are virtually zero and to add to that more often than not the only way you’ll find any products that cater to afro hair will be in ‘the black hair shop’. Now, recently Boots and Superdrug have been adding afro hair products to their shelves, which is great. However, it’s 2015 and #teamnatural is not a phenomenon that started last week.

“Society is multicultural, so surely the shops should be too”: a comment in the documentary that certainly rings true and certainly brings into question why the media and the beauty industry like to treat afro hair as something ‘other’. This otherness creates somewhat of a shame culture around natural hair- which is inherently wrong. Afro hair should no longer be stigmatised as ‘unprofessional’ or ‘different’: it should be appreciated in the way that other hair types are. Black and mixed race women have the right to choose whether or not they wear their hair in a natural style. After all, hair is a part of us that gives us freedom to express ourselves. Whether someone chooses to wear a weave, braids, use relaxer or stick to their natural locks is completely up to the them. The important thing is that women are confident in themselves and proud of their roots.

Kickin it with the Kinks is available to view online at https://vimeo.com/52351813

The Courier

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Monday 27 April 2015

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Bases: the face off

Lucy Cochrane talks foundation, BB cream and CC cream: what’s the difference?

Lucy Cochrane talks foundation, BB cream and CC cream: what’s the difference?

I

t’s about time we resolved the confusion that some people have about the differences between BB cream, CC cream and foundation.

oily skin than BB cream. A great option is Clinique’s Moisture Surge SPF 30 hydrating colour corrector which provides lasting oil free hydration and sun protectant. This targets adjusting to your skin tone to create a more even skin tone, and has a natural looking coverage.

It can be worn comfortably alone, or alternatively you can layer this underneath foundation for a more flawless finish. Alternatively, L’Oréal’s Nude Magique CC cream has three different shades: one for anti-fatigue, anti-dullness, and anti-redness to neutralise the appearance of these problems. The magic smart pigment capsules transform into foundation on application for a barely there, weightless effect, making it the best combination of skincare and make up.

BB Cream Blemish balm is a fantastic multipurpose face product, containing primer, serum, moisturiser, foundation, and sun protection which transforms face application into one easy step. This is the perfect option if you have almost perfect skin with the occasional blemish which this product is designed to target, meaning you find you will save time on concealer. This option is best if you want sheer, lightweight coverage allowing skin to breathe which is ideal if you don’t like wearing much face makeup but you still need a bit of coverage. I recommend Rimmel’s 9-in-1 BB cream which primes, moisturises, minimises pores, conceals, covers, smoothes, mattifies, brightens and helps protect with SPF 25. This is a great fuss-free product which saves a lot of time on your everyday routine. I particularly like using this for summer as it is the ultimate multitasker and has a really natural finish. This kind of product is best suited to dry-combination skin as opposed to oily; if you have oily skin a CC cream/ heavy duty foundation is more appropriate.

Foundation Although BB/CC creams are great at targeting specific skin problems, foundation is a great base option if you want a really flawless finish as you will tend to get higher coverage. Apply over a primer if your make-up has trouble staying in place which will make your foundation glide on smoothly and last all day. One of my favourite foundations to use is L’Oréal True Match. This is great because it has so many shades to choose from to find your perfect colour match and also contains a high SPF of 17. It has a really silky texture that blends easily onto the skin which makes it feel lightweight, and has a medium coverage.

However it is also really buildable if you want full coverage whilst still managing to look natural. I would say this is a great foundation for all skin types, particularly dry/combination skin as it has a rather dewy finish, yet I would be wary of this if you skin is particularly oily as you would be better suited to something with a matte finish, for instance Rimmel’s Stay Matte foundation which has a mousse consistency.

CC Cream Colour correction cream has the same multitasking properties as BB cream with an enhanced focus on skincare as its main focus is correcting redness or sallowness. CC creams are usually thicker and have more coverage than the lightness of a BB cream which makes them great for covering uneven skin tone and wrinkles. They often contain a higher sun protectant to protect skin from ageing.

The more matte texture makes it better suited to

Spotted on campus

Our eye on campus Ashley Williams shares the top three looks she’s uncovered this week shares the top three looks she’s uncovered this week

Don’t sweat it Flo Davies gives us her top tips for keeping you’re makeup fresh in the summer months Set it and forget it

With summer temperatures creeping upon us in April, preventing a face of make-up from melting may be difficult and anyone that wears make-up will be all too familiar with the dreaded afternoon lull - when your once fresh maquillage looks tired and dull. Too keep that too-shiny skin at bay in the warmer months; why not try a setting spray to keep make-up looking fresh. Setting sprays like the French brand Eeu Thermale Avenue Water Spray lock in moisture and prevent any makeup from sliding. And while it may seem counterintuitive to spray something on your face to keep it from looking greasy, it is always something I make sure to incorporate into my beauty routine to finish off any look. Eau Thermale Avène is a skincare brand that really appeals to my penchant for simplicity as the multipurpose product also works well when spritzed across the face to help you freshen up before a night out or alternatively hydrates the skin when on the go because of its cooling/calming properties. The little aerosol can of pressurized water, whose properties have been endorsed by dermatologists only consists of Avene Thermal Spring Water (Avene Aqua) and Nitrogene. Its pH is very close to neutral and it’s free from bacteria, providing optimum tolerance and gentleness for even the most sensitive of skin so you can be confident in knowing that it will not irritate you. Simply spray on a fine mist, wait for a few seconds and then gently pat dry to feel fully refreshed.

Lighten up

When the temperature rises, many people continue to pile on the full-coverage foundation, instead opt for a tinted moisturizer or BB cream to prevent a heavy looking base. BB creams made their European debut in 2011 following their huge success in the Asian market, and quickly made an impact on the beauty world. But what is a BB cream? The general consensus is that they should provide moisturisation, SPF protection and sheer coverage alongside soothing and healing properties, making for an easy all-in-one product. The similarity to tinted moisturizers has been noted, but BB creams are designed to go one step further with additions such an antioxidants to regenerate and rejuvenate skin. Originally created by dermatologists, the idea is that they actually provide genuine benefits for the skin - as well as providing enough coverage to be used as either a foundation or a primer, depending upon your preference.

Prime it

You won’t regret the few seconds it will take to smooth on a primer. Primers are definitely the way to go in the summer. They’re incredibly light and the additional layer really helps hold make up in place. If you struggle with an oily complexion then using a primer (Benefit’s POREfessional can help you out). For best results, apply after moisturizer, and follow by placing a pea-sized amount onto the back of your hand and gently smooth the product over the face. Focus the primer on the oiler areas, particularly the T-zone as this is the area that tends to see make up stray.

Loye Olatunbosun, 20 Politics and Economics

Anna Smirnova, 20 Politics and Spanish

Becca Cummings, 21 English Literature

“I think natural hair is beautiful, and I love how it looks. I think it’s a strong expression of who I am as well.”

I agree – natural hair is beautiful, and it was hard not to spot Loye on campus with these gorgeous natural curls. Loye says this is one of the few occasions where she chooses to wear her hair freely.

Usually, she says, she sticks to protective styles such as braids to nurture her hair and prevent breakage.

She has full, healthy-looking locks, and I think it’s great she embraces her natural beauty. It’s a style that certainly makes her stand out from the crowd.

“For daily life, I’m usually just wearing foundation.

When I’m going out, of course, I take more time and I use more makeup.”

Anna looks perfectly polished on her way to the library. She’s wearing MAC foundation, lipstick, and blue contacts to complement her natural eye colour. They really make them pop. Her hair is up in a quick and easy high ponytail, which draws attention to her pretty face. I like this fresh look because though she didn’t use many products, it still gives her maximum results with minimal effort.

She’s gone for a light coverage which works really well for everyday campus makeup.

“I was just in the library, so it’s something quite easy and quick to throw on.”

Becca’s keeping it simple with only three products. Here, the third year student is wearing Clinique Stay Matte Foundation, High Impact Curling Mascara, and Benefit Brow Zings. I was surprised to learn she was wearing any foundation at all! Less is definitely more on those long Saturdays dissertationing in the library, and this natural makeup probably only took a couple minutes. I like that she’s chosen to wear a sheer foundation, which lets the skin breathe a little whilst adding a touch of coverage.

26.arts

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Arts Editors: Lucy Chenery and Becka Crawshaw Online Arts Editor: Jess Harman

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n paper and screen Miranda July celebrates modern ordinary life and all the oddities that come with contemporary ‘normality’. A filmmaker, artist and writer (who says you can’t have it all eh?!) July and her charming characters coincidently have joined me at a time in life where its standard to meet a performance artist… oh and a chromotherapist, a Prince William obsessive, the romance seeker, the graduate writer and her dark shape lover, the girl who works at Mr Peeps and we’re all at a dinner party like it’s a casual weekday night. That’s totally normal right?

Even though her first novel The First Bad Man was out this February, it was actually the cover of her short stories book No one belongs here more than you that caught my eye in the bookshop – a stark matte yellow suede-feel cover (we all judge books by their covers…I just unashamedly admit it) with modestly glossy black text. Often comic, each narrator’s fragment of life we’re bared witness to is told in such honesty, the weirdness is sentimental and so believable its strange to think there’s even a concept of ‘weirdness’.

Above anything it’s nice to see a female artist occupy a space to discuss the ordinary lives of men and women. In a world where intimacy is changing; online through the likes of twitter, forums etc., in real life or through simply the way we read a book (those E-reader things I still don’t think will catch on) it seems far more poignant to be producing art out of the white institutionalised gallery walls through a multitude of immediately responsive forms.

“It’s nice to see a female artist occupy a space to discuss the ordinary lives of men and women”

An online project with Harrell Fletcher, Learning to love you more (2002-2009) invited the World Wide Web to respond to assignments such as ‘write a press release of an everyday event’, ‘heal yourself ’ and ‘re-create the moment after a crime’ to then share the documentation online. Perhaps these seems tasks seem a little like a high-school drama class or DIY exercise in self-efficacy but encouraging a conversation of what these benign acts could mean or what they even are seems a meaningful act in itself; collectively producing a catalogue of methods to generously nudge away a self-disregard. Its almost a shame the website has now been acquired by an institution - San Francisco Museum of Modern art.

July’s first exceptional character I was introduced to was from the film she directed, starred in and wrote – You Me and Everyone We Know. In this case an eccentric performance artist. The ‘oddity’ of actions like stalking a shoe salesman are normalised, even romanticised making us re-evaluate how ‘normal’ we individually act and realise the complexity of connection whether that be in romance or in everyday interactions. Thankfully making the universal struggle of articulating ourselves a lesser condemnation.

July’s fan-base includes the likes of Lena Dunham and Chris Ware and rightly so she should achieve the same acclaim for her observational insight that is intimate and generous in every form she articuImage: Holly Argent lates through.

veryone remembers 9/11. Everyone remembers the day the iconic buildings were removed forever from the American skyline and everyone remembers the tragedies which enfolded there and all the lives that were lost. Many of us were too young to fully grasp what was happening.

I remember how every channel was filled with the same images of those crumbling buildings and of families sobbing as they realised they would never see a loved one again. I was too young to understand what the word terrorism meant, but everyone saw its effects in full force on that day and so it remains a day which is forever ingrained into people’s memories and as Tansy Davies recent opera Between Worlds, has shown into people’s imaginations.

“By tackling the twin towers in opera, there is the possibility for it to be treated simply as some sort of muse or inspiration for tales rather than as a very real life tragedy”

Initially, the thought of this tragic day being turned into an opera was met by incredulity and outrage. Many argue that this transformation of real life tragedy into art trivialises a loss which is still present for many who lost loved ones on that day. Some have even gone so far as to say that this

transformation could be seen as disrespectful to those who lost their lives. There are strengths to these arguments. By tackling the twin towers in opera and in art in general, there is the possibility for it to be treated simply as some sort of muse or inspiration for tales rather than as a very real life tragedy. Moreover, potentially one could argue that by placing 9/11 in a fictional or creative realm, we run the risk of becoming detached from the tragedy. The reason for this detachment could arise from the fact that when you fictionalise or represent an event than the reality of the situation can sometimes be lost. However, this opera is not the first time that the twin towers has been represented. It has been the subject of many films including Remember Me, United 93 and Fahrenheit 9/11.

These films are just a sample from the long list of films which have covered 9/11. Many of these films also met with equal controversy at the time, particularly Fahrenheit 9/11 which was released in 2004 to cries of people saying that it was too soon for the content to discussed in film. A film which looks at the twin towers now would perhaps not be met with such controversy as a previous precedent has already been set. Davies’ opera is part of this history of re-telling and transforming this event and it is likely if another director covers the twin towers in opera, this decision will be far less polarising than it has been now.

However, the fact that in time society will become used to these retellings and transformations, does not necessarily mean we are right to have them- with this bombardment of stories, will we lose the true tragedy which lies beneath the loss of the twin towers?

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our Roads, an exhibition by the late artist Jason Rhoades, was an assault on all the senses. Rhoades, who died at age forty from a drug overdose (unsurprising once you have seen the work), has been physically embodied in a mammoth exhibition on floors 3 and 4.

On entering the space, my primary realisation was his experimentation with scale. Rhoades considered his art as ‘one epic body of work’, everything being a continuation of what came before.

Each installation is a piece in its own right, however there is a clear contingency between them all.

The first sculpture I attended to was a tiny model of a room’s interior; plastic men seemed to be working on an overbearing mechanical device. As you begin to look closer you notice the smaller, more intimate details. Lines of drugs, bags of powder and porn appear on the walls; the men seem intoxicated and consumed in a trippy four walled prison. Composed on a rough looking plinth with the words “Honest Engine Work” above it, Rhoades ironically comments on modern day hidden manufacture which obviously isn’t honest at all.

Moving through the exhibition you come across many of Rhoades’ ‘multiples’, smaller sculptures, humorously made out of contrasting, mundane materials. Again using everyday objects Rhoades created a gun, a motorbike, a vibrator, a flat pack box and more, all laced with satire. Then came the piece I had been waiting for, the personification of Rhoades’ brain. As we have already gathered, the thought processes of the artist aren’t necessarily the status quo.

The Creation Myth is an enormous model of the artist’s brain at work. Laid out like a circuit, the 3D map contains the vital organs, a humorous example bring the ‘prick’ confidently represented by a hydraulic battering ram and the anus, a large black machine that blew out rings of dense smoke.

Around the course we encounter glowing buckets which point us towards what the body or brain

part we have approached - stomach, anus and some being less obvious, like ‘the hair splitter’ (obsessive attention to detail), ‘grey matter’ and the ’inner child’. The many materials used in the installation create a controversial cluttered effect, simply as if he has grabbed a load of junk and manufactured it together; shredded paper piles of wood and general junk occupy the central structure of tables. But don’t let this anger you, it all becomes clear that Rhoades has articulated the space with exquisite care despite the unorganised facade. Rhoades left encyclopaedic, intimate instructions about his pieces and the curation was all done with the utmost precision from his in depth documentation.

“The 3D map contains the vital organs, a humorous example bring the ‘prick’ confidently represented by a hydraulic battering ram” As we explore the circuit a severed snakes head travels round the roof of the tables on a toy train track, mockingly resembling the ‘train of thought’.

Below the train track is the ‘reality level’ where the inner child etc. is placed, represented by a Nintendo 64 and a bunch of video games. Surrounding the tables and around the outside of the room are the ‘unorgansed thoughts’, a large majority of this being plastered pornographic images attached to falic looking poles. Speaking to one of the Baltic crew, we decided that Rhoades’ plan was that with every new person a new chain of thought entered, circling the room like Rhoades’ own thought, so we can become an integral part of the piece.

On until the 31st May, I can’t recommend a visit enough.

The Courier

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Monday 27 April 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierArts

Preview: NUTS Drama Festival

Accessible arts Jennifer Hopps reveals her top three album artworks this week

George Smith waits in anticipation for NUTS’ approaching Drama Festival, an exciting time for students and artists

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ast week I exposed the dark depths of my teenage CD collection for your entertainment – fortunately for me this column will not be quite so mortifying. Whilst some CD art is pretty cool, album artwork definitely takes the cake. I don’t know whether it’s simply because there’s more space, but some of the designs are incredible.

R

ehearsals are now in full swing for this year’s Drama Festival hosted by Newcastle University in association with Durham Student Theatre. The Drama Festival is always a special event in the university calendar, showcasing the diverse talent of the society in two evenings of exclusively student written theatre.

This year also features for the first time a collaboration with Durham Student Theatre (DST), who will also be performing some new writing at the festival.

Opening the festival on 6th May is The End of the World was Last Tuesday by Jack Hewitt, a heartwarming comedy about a man whose actions (following an incorrect prediction of the apocalypse) have left him in a somewhat difficult predicament.

The opening night also includes The Spectrum, a physical theatre by Kate Beckwith. In a society divided by colours, people are waiting for the bus.

There are no bus tickets, just the advice: ‘only when man has reached his true potential may he pass

Reviews Nervous Skies: The NewBridge

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ervous Skies, running until 2nd May, is the third work of four artists from different countries who began this project as automatic writing experiments. Indeed, it could definitely make you ‘nervous’ (or at least confused in a sense that you’ll find it difficult to keep track of the story). It is an eight minute light show using four screens – one for the text, two showing the restlessness of colours and one for colours that are seen as an opposition to this anxiety by looking rather still.

Under the influence of a great variety of stimuli,

“It reflects the inner turmoil that arises from not being able to survive in a world that is woven by different interpretations” Deborah Bower, Mat Fleming and Annete Knol wrote continually, thus creating a collective narrative rather than a singular homogeneous story.

Amelia Bande, a Chilean creative writing teacher, put everything together. Text and colour come together like two lines that only seemingly travel parallel. But as the story itself reveals, there is no such thing in nature. They converge, meet for a while, and then diverge again. The meeting point is where art is born. Nervous Skies reflects the inner turmoil that arises from not being able to survive in a world that is woven by different interpretations of all things that are happening simultaneously and nothing seems to be in place. The storyteller is being followed by a bluebird and the skies make them so nervous that the story ends with “my mind bleed[ing] out of me.”

Maria-Magdalena Manolova

from here to paradise.’ Closing the opening night is Sauce by Joe Shaw, a unique play offering a hilarious insight into the inner workings of the student mind as Ted, Benbo, Lucy & Arabella attempt, with limited success, to get some work done on a sticky afternoon in the library.

Opening the second night of the festival on 7th May is 6hrs 54mins by Kate Beckwith, a comedy about five students in a carpool from Edinburgh to London who learn more about each other than they bargained for as arguments and chaos unfold alongside some unfortunate secrets. Dan Galvin’s Dog Treats will bring a darker edge to the festival when a chance meeting forces the retired Terrance and an unexpected stranger to confront their futures in a mystery thriller about time and, more importantly, how you use it. Closing the festival is If Only Diana Were Queer by Josh Turner and Laura Chitty, a play that follows three drag queens in the dressing room for ‘Coming Up Roses,’ preparing their act, lifting the lid on the glamorous life of

Irvine Welsh: Northern Stage

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n Monday evening the Northern Stage hosted a one-off, intimate event with Irvine Welsh, author of the filthily funny Trainspotting books. In appearance, and speech, Irvine was everything you’d expect – bald, funny, and with a beautifully crude Scottish mouth to boot.

The opening questions put to him dealt directly with his new book, A Decent Ride, which follows the cabbie ‘Juice’ Terry Lawson, on his rides (in both senses of the word) throughout Edinburgh.

Irvine donned a wig and glasses to perform some suitably amusing method reading of extracts from the book, which made apparent how much he re-

“Irvine was everything you’d expect – bald, funny...with a beautifully crude Scottish mouth”

ally becomes his characters who he writes about.

The abrasive humour of the novel hit the mark perfectly in Irvine’s harsh Scottish accent.

Yet there was a lot more to the evening than just crude humour – by the end Irvine had somehow also discussed suicide, religion, Edinbugh’s past and present, and contemporary culture in suitably soft tones, albeit at times masked with brass humour. Yet you left the evening feeling that there had certainly been a moral centre to it. It’s similar to the feeling you have after reading his books. For me, it was his response and discussion of the act of writing that was particularly interesting – there was a huge sense that for Irvine writing is a process that has to be done correctly, and when he spoke of his characters you were fully convinced they really are real people he knows, not just names on a page.

Antonia Cundy

the drag queen. This will be the showcase performance of the play before its run at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August, auditions for which will take place around the exam period. DST’s productions at the festival include Ozymandias, a oneman show by Hugh Train, in which he invites all to an evening of wit, charm, music and storytelling with the ‘King of Kings.’

The festival will take place in Venue in the Students Union on 6-7th May and tickets are priced at £10, which includes entry to both nights of the festival, as well as some free popcorn courtesy of our sponsors ProperCorn. It promises to be a highly entertaining two evenings of original theatre.

For more information about the Drama Festival, the Fringe and how you can get involved with the society, visit the website www.nuts-theatre.com or like/follow Newcastle University Theatre Society on Facebook and Twitter.

Autobiographi-­ cal Series: Northumbria University

U

pon first glance, or to the casual observer, Louise Bourgeois’ 1994 Autobiographical Series at Northumbria University gallery seems crude. I certainly thought so, almost feeling frustrated at having agreed to review the works. However, the seemingly random nature of her work led me to look a bit closer and think about why Bourgeois had chosen to etch, for example, two pairs of scissors, a woman waiting by a clock and a telephone, and what she was trying to convey.

“These works relate to Bourgeois’ own life, fleeting moments of memory that have come back to her, memories that are so strong and pertinent”

The clue is in the name of the exhibition in some way. These works relate to Bourgeois’ own life, fleeting moments of memory that have come back to her, memories that are so strong and pertinent that she feels compelled to capture and commemorate them.

As an observer, there is a slight eeriness to her collection. I could easily decipher what emotion Bourgeois was trying to convey; yet I could also sense a feeling of starkness and emptiness staring back at me. These are very simplistic etchings that appear to have not a lot going on at first glance.

However, at a closer inspection you can really see that there is much to think about and I really, and quite intimately, get into Bourgeois’ state of mind.

Jack Parker

Whilst I was researching for this column, I came across a guy called Leif Podhajsky – and what a guy he is. Leif Podhajsky is a London-based Australian graphic designer and art director of Czech origin, well known for his distinctive album art working with artists such as Tame Impala, Foals, The Horrors, Mount Kimbie and Bonobo. His work consists of psychedelic, abstract depictions of nature and distinctively striking portraits of people. The album artwork for Tame Impala plays tricks on your mind as the colours swirl into one another and you feel as if you’re being sucked into the cover.

Podhajsky has a personal philosophy when he works with artists. He spends a lot of time listening to the music, working out a story and concept which reflects the feel of the album and only works with bands whose music he enjoys listening to.

Podhajsky uses album art to “create one image which encompasses an entire album of story and emotion”. So yeah – Podhajsky is a cool guy.

“Leif Podhajsky is a London-based Australian graphic designer and art director of Czech origin” Another cool guy is Peter Saville – he’s been designing album artwork since 1978 and is a complete and utter pro. He did artwork for Joy Division and New Order back in the day and over the last decade has designed for Bjork, Pulp and OMD to name a few. He was interested in mixing clashing genres, like his design for New Order’s Power, Corruption and Lies album, in which he combines a Fantin-Latour Roses painting with a colour-coded alphabet.

Herbie Hancock is another really, really cool guy.

Seriously. He’s a very famous American jazz pianist who has also dabbled in designing album art – and he’s just brilliant at it. His bright colours and block shapes combined with its fantasy and culture makes for some very intense art.

28.filmfeatures features

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Film  Editors:  Rosie  Rosie  Bellini  &  David  Leighton Online  Editor:  George  Smith

Avengers  2:  Age  of  Anticipation

Pleasure            Island

Van  Helsing

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hen Kate Beckinsdale and Hugh Jackman teamed up in Van Helsing nobody was expecting that these two absolute fitties would have zero sexual chemistry, in fact their relationship seems almost sibling-esque, the overprotective older one and the impassioned, somewhat reckless, younger one. And then they kiss, and it is weird.

This, among with a myriad of other problems – namingly a complete inability to be taken seriously – made Van Helsing fodder for the critics. Of course, this nebulous bunch of critics was effectively right. It is a bit pants, it’s full of tack and heavily influenced by the gaudiest of them all: Underworld.

However, as a film you watch for a laugh, as something you don’t take seriously, Van Helsing is actually bloody good fun. The crappy set design and excellent one liners (‘Carl, you just cursed! Not well mind you but you’re a monk, you shouldn’t curse at all’ – ‘Actually I’m a friar, I can curse all I want‌damnit!’) serve only to make it cute. Van Helsing tries reaaally hard, it just wants you to like it‌.damnit!

The character of Frankenstein’s monster is my favourite bit of butchery in the entire flick, he’s deep and caring and big and muscle-bound and absolute shite. I’m quite sure Shelley would do a tiny mini-sick if she saw her character warped into such a shallow imperfection of his former glory.

However, ignoring that, he’s absolutely hilarious. Also he clothes-line’s one of Dracula’s brides which is, admittedly, way cooler and funnier than one would expect. Furthermore, his defence of his right (and indeed desire) to live cumulates in one of the most dumbfounding-ly hilarious cries of ‘I WANT TO LIIIIIIIIIIVE’ ever witnessed by anyone, ever. Tragic, and pissin’ hilarious. So bad is the cry, that it’s highly reminiscent of Vader’s epically awful ‘NOOOO’ in the final scenes of Episode III. Thanks Lucas.

Of course, the uber clichÊd villain, Dracula, is equally as silly. Despite some – at the time – relatively decent effects to make him scarier, his characterisation and entire demeanour is just so over-done that he becomes laughable. But again, the fight scene between Werewolf ’d Helsing and Dracula is actually quite meaty, it’s definitely worth at least youtubing. Of course none of this takes away from the fact that it is still a crappy, crappy film and should not be taken seriously, but that’s okay. Don’t take it seriously, watch it and laugh at how kind of crappy-good it is, cheesey till the very end.

Really, right the way up to the end – the f i l m’s final scenes are of a friend’s funeral and – right on queue – they look into the sky and there she is, drifting off into the nethersphere. It’s almost enough to make you vomit. God bless Van Helsing.

Now that’s how you do Frankenstein!

David Leighton

Emma  Allsopp  speculates  on  what   Marvel  has  in  store  for  arguably  the  most  DQWLFLSDWHG Âż OP RI WKH \HDU IURP KXQNV WR +XON LWÂśV Avengers:  Age  of  Ultron Â

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vengers: Age of Ultron, the eagerly anticipated sequel to Marvel’s smash-hit,The Avengers is almost upon us (in fact, by the time this is published it will be upon us). The first was a roaring success grossing over $1.5 billion worldwide and becoming the third-highest grossing film, but what can we expect from the Joss Whedon’s follow-up?

Well, sequels are always tricky when the first film is mega-successful, but Avengers: Age of Ultron should not disappoint. After the recent premieres its IMDB rating has rocketed and exceeded nine out of a possible ten. It seems like it will be a surefire hit.

Avengers: Age of Ultron follows on from The Avengers, but also from phase two films such as Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World, and Captain America: The Winter Soldier (also rather loosely from Guardians of the Galaxy), which is of course inevitable as Marvel continues to expand it’s cinematic universe at an impressive rate.

Due to the content of these films the sequel is bound to be a whole

lot darker than its predecessor, but should it also be a lot more developed. The heroes have already been introduced and firmly cemented in everyone’s knowledge, so there will be more room for plot rather than a vast introduction.

The film focuses on Ultron (James Spader), a Chitauri artificial intelligence originally manipulated

by Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) and Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) for work on a peace project.

However, Ultron develops a god complex and sets out to destroy the human race. Queue the super heroic dream team of the Avengers to stop him before it’s too late.

The heroes have come a long way, Tony Stark has learnt how to play well with others a little better and has found a friend in Bruce Banner. Whereas Banner has partially left his Hulk status behind and learned how to chill out and

study science. Steve Rogers/Captain America is still getting used to life in the modern world, and battling with the plot twists that HYDRA never did die out and that his best friend, Bucky Barnes, did not actually die. Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow is trying to grapple with the HYDRA discovery she made in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, whereas Clint Barton/Hawkeye’s adventures are a mystery due to not being seen since The Avengers.

“Ultron develops a god complex and sets out to destroy the human race [...]Queue the super heroic dream team of the Avengers to stop him before it’s too late�

The villains have also come a long way since The Avengers, as Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is set to return for a small part in Avengers: Age of Ultron proving that you just cannot have an Avengers film without the God of Mischief. Since the first film he has gone back to Asgard, faked his own death, presumably killed his father, Odin, and taken his ‘rightful’ place on the throne.

Other new characters include the brother and sister duo Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) the victims of experiments by HYDRA which have given them superhuman abilities.

The android, Vision (Paul Bettany, who also voices Tony Stark’s other AI creation, J.A.R.V.I.S), will also be introduced as he is created by Utron.

The  art  behind  the  martial

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eople keep asking me if I’m back, and I haven’t really had an answer, but YEAH, I’M THINKIN’ I’M BACK! So screams Keanu Reeves in what is arguably his, um, ‘finest’ acting moment in newly-released action-thriller, John Wick.

As well as being a grand returning announcement from the worst actor to have ever been in great films, Wick is a furious statement of intent from the martial-arts genre, kicking its way back into the mainstream and road-housing every substandard imitation and rotten franchise picture to death. Chop-socky is back and it’s here to stay.

Arguably brought back in the early Noughties when Quentin Tarantino stole from every kick-ass kung-fu film ever made with his Kill Bill films, it was suddenly hip to like the midnight movies that only the coolest of our parents would have seen back in the day. Tarantino’s infectious glee with ripping off scorned-woman-revenger Lady Snowblood is exactly the guilty pleasure that he wants to give us; refreshing an old film, resuiting and rebooting it for the new generation to experience. That’s the sweetness of the return of ass-kickery, that smell of vintage carnage in a shiny new package.

“C’mon, admit it; who doesn’t love seeing a fantastically crazy way of dispatching a faceless heavy?�

But if there is sweetness, there must be sourness to give the dish a tang that lingers on the tongue and sticks in the memory. And that is undoubtedly the fast-and-loose morality of the genre. C’mon, admit it; who doesn’t love seeing a fantastically crazy way of dispatching a faceless heavy? That’s maybe why Welshman Gareth Evans’ Indonesian Raid films have been such a wild success around

the cult circuit. Evans’ love for the genre rivals Tarantino’s, but Evans has a way of making something new and truly inspired while Tarantino rakes over old ground. The first Raid movie (subtitled Redemption, despite the almost-total lack of redemption in the entire film) is a hurried video-game of an action-er, with next to no plot and two simple objectives: get to the top of the tower, kill the kingpin. And that’s all that happens. Oh, and there’s a fridge that’s used as a grenade and a fight where two people fall out of a window and they carry on fighting and one of them dies and it’s all WOAHWOAHWOAH. But no. Awesomeness and bad-assery are undoubtedly factors concerning why martial arts filmmaking has gained new popularity, but let’s not forget about the martial art itself.

There is an undeniable artistry to the carnage akin to a ballet of broken necks and bloody bone-splinters. Just look at the apparent honour in the climactic fight of The Raid 2; two ultimate adversaries finally face off, their feet shuffling into position before letting all hell break loose upon one another. The respect of the choreography is effectively as

“But let’s not forget about the martial art itself, there is an undeniable artistry to the carnage akin to a ballet of broken necks and bloody bone-

high-culture as action movies get, and a worthy retribution for whenever you’ve been dragged to the interpretive dance show. Show them Keanu Reeves snapping blokes in half; how’s that for interpretive dance?

So there we have it: the new generation of action cinema. A perfectly complimentary roster of work alongside its old Eastern counterparts, don’t let anyone ever tell you marital arts movies aren’t worth your time. Sure, they’re lacking in the plot department, but if you’re looking for Godfatherlevel density, you’re in the wrong room (although Raid 2 attempts intelligence, and succeeds, so have that one). So, kick off your shoes, settle down in your dojo and let the new wave of ass-kicking rip; they’re worth more of your time than any Fast and Furious ‘film’.

The Courier

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Monday 27 April 2015

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‘Hope you like prison food, and penis.’ - The Other Guys (2010)

John Wick If bad-assery were a currency, John Wick would be Bill Gates. Starring Keanu Reeves as Keanu Reeves’ Stunt Double, it marks the furious return of everyone’s favourite blank canvas action star.

After over a decade of uninspired cinematic ambling, Keanu hits it out of the park in the most ridiculously on-point action thriller of the past year.

Although limited by predictability, directing and producing duo Chad Stahelski and David Leitch pull off a crisp, lucid yet deliriously fun wallow in undiluted swagger without being too convinced they’re making a classic.

The action kicks off with the untimely death of exhitman John Wick’s wife, succumbing to a terminal illness. As a sweet parting gift, she sends him a cute pup from beyond the grave to keep him company in her stead. Yet in a cruel twist of fate, Lily Allen’s younger brother, Alfie, turns up as a brattish Russian gangster and kills said dog and steals Keanu’s pristine muscle car. Very much a Turner without his Hooch, John reaches the end of his wick (very subtle, writer, very subtle) and goes on a tirade of revenge against the Russian mob. That’s it. And there’s a body count of 119.

Very lean and even more mean, there’s little room for anything other than pacey, extended action and bullets passing through brains like pencils through paper. There are a number of supporting charac-

ters, all played by ex-TV actors, ranging from Twin Peaks to The Wire to Deadwood, but they serve little purpose other than to pull triggers or get triggers pulled at them. Such an action-heavy narrative would normally crumble under the chronic boredom from the numbing fist fights, but Stahelski and Leitch know and respect their genre they regard as home. Both with extensive backgrounds in stunts and with strong ties to Matrix auteurs, the Wachowskis, their knack for fight choreography is quite stunning. With a competent hold on propulsive storytelling from Derek Kolstad’s not-quitegoofy-enough script, Keanu does 90% of his own stunts as one set-piece effortlessly flows into another with a wide-eyed glee that only comes with a true adoration for the sub-genre of ‘pure pulp’. John Wick’s raison d’être comes plum in the middle in the form of some faultless club-set carnage where the body count goes from standard to staggering, and the directing team have come out the other end

A Little Chaos (12A)

Child 44 (15)

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ighteen years after his directorial debut, Alan Rickman presents us with his new period drama, A Little Chaos, which follows the journey of Sabine de Barra (Kate Winslet) a landscape gardener with dreams of tackling the grounds of the Palace of Versailles.

She meets the successful gardener André Le Notre (Matthias Schoenaerts) and the classic, and rather cliché, will-they-won’t-they situation arises.

However, with the ever-watching eye of Madame Le Notre (Helen McCrory) firmly locked onto Sabine it seems things will not grow in the way the two gardeners anticipated.

Matthias Schoenaerts tackles more-or-less the same role he did in Suite Francaise earlier this year, and the one he seems to be playing in Far from the Madding Crowd next month. His performance works well though with nothing particular to fault about it. Although he is not the only one to be typecast, Helen McCrory too is thrust into the villainess role she seems to have played time and time again. Although, she too handles it with expertise.

A major fault in this film is that the pacing is all wrong. In the first hour shots seems to linger unnecessarily resulting in a first half which is hard to get enthralled in. It recovers slightly in the second half when the plot is drawing to a close. However, due to a lack of interest in the beginning it is difficult to celebrate these revelations.

A highlight of this film is definitely Stanley Tucci who takes on a role of Philippe, Duc d’Orleans, with a performance as flamboyant and entertaining as ever. Another highlight is a touching scene between King Louis XIV (Alan Rickman) and Sabine where she mistakes him for a gardener, this is when the film really starts to begin.

Overall, A Little Chaos is a cliché of a film, a typical period drama, but fails to be as enjoyable as others due to its severe pacing issues. This is a film which needed extensive pruning to become great.

n Moscow in 1953, a serial killer is targeting young boys. MGB agent and war-hero Leo Demidov, played by the burly Tom Hardy, is caught in a game of smoke and mirrors; in the Soviet Union, he is told, crime does not and cannot exist. Due to a burgeoning consciousness of his own morality, Leo chooses to pursue justice, risking persecution from the department that raised him.

Child 44 is based on Tom Rob Smith’s popular thriller from 2008, and comprises a cast including Noomi Rapace, Gary Oldman, and Vincent Cassel.

In the manner of the famous paradoxes of Nineteen Eighty-Four, the film explores the malleability of truth. Just as two and two must equal five, and he who controls the present controls the past, the methodical and brutal deaths of the children are officially recorded as freak accidents. There is a thought-provoking dialogue about the nature of individual identity against bureaucracy. Swarms of workers plod silently in and out of factories in brown overcoats and, in the fight scenes, it is difficult to tell who is who.

Unfortunately, however, such discourse is swamped by shaking cameras and brooding, video game cityscapes. For a film about guarded actions and free will within captivity, it is surprisingly visceral. For a film about silences and absences, it is shockingly loud. Most disappointing is the way that we never get a sense of Moscow as a setting.

Where The Lives of Others (2006) succeeds is by establishing a picture of steady order and rehearsed conformity as the sterilising constraints of totalitarianism.

In the novel of Child 44, there is a description of the windows on government buildings being like eyes, scrutinising your every move. The film only achieves this effect once, when, in the confined space of a meticulously arranged living room, two bodies wrestle under the unwavering gaze of Joseph Stalin’s portrait.

More like this: The Dressmaker (2015)

More like this: Locke (2013)

Emma Allsopp

with a sequence that is less breathlessly exciting as it is breathlessly fun; little touches of off-hand irreverence are more than welcome in the form of a ‘for god’s sake’ interruption to a brutal kill and one fatal beard-pull that juggles shock-value and bellylaughs with equal skill.

As for the cast, everyone gives their all for the debuting duo, with Michael Nyqvist’s bizarre turn as Russian gangster extraordinaire Viggo being a scene-stealer. Willem Dafoe provides the laconic cool while Reeves isn’t on-screen, and he manages to make up for Alfie Allen’s woeful miscasting.

But it’s Reeves’ show, saying little and delivering the punches with as much ease as he always has.

It’s good to have him back, even if he looks exactly the same age as he did 25 years ago.

More like this: Man of Tai Chi (2013) Simon Ramshaw

Home (U)

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he pairing of Rihanna and Jim Parsons was enough to intrigue me when it came to DreamWorks’ latest offering: Home. I was sceptical to say the least, but came out of the movie brushing a tear from my eye (okay, that’s a lie, I was bawling; happy now?) and convinced that DreamWorks had made their best movie since Shrek.

The story (written by Tom J. Astle of Get Smart fame) follows Jim Parsons’ character, a lovable alien called ‘Oh’, who doesn’t fit in with his kind, the Boov. When the Boov conquer earth and relocate all the humans, Oh has a chance to make a new start on a new planet, and promptly ruins it by sending a house-warming party invite to everyone in the universe, including the Boov’s deadly enemies, the Gorg, who they have been running from.

Finding himself a fugitive, Oh tries to escape to Antarctica and runs into the last human in New York – Gratuity ‘Tip’ Tucci, a 7th-grader with a cat called Pig, desperately trying to locate her mother.

Hilarity ensues as the two bond on a quest in a flying car (powered by slushies, of course) to save the world from the wrath of the Gorg and reunite Tip with her mother, all whilst avoiding being ‘erased’.

The film is brilliantly written and directed, and I challenge anyone to watch it and not feel a lump in their throat by the end.

Although it feels a little like Jim Parsons is being pigeon-holed in this role (his character is more or less a hyperactive, optimistic alien version of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory), the odd pairing of him and Rihanna works.

With an absolutely brilliant soundtrack (there is a lot of Rihanna, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing) and enough heart-warming scenes to melt the cynic in all of us, Home is definitely a film to watch this summer, regardless of age.

More like this: William Loxley

Quentin Tarantino: Django Unchained Whilst the film is absolutely ace, Tarantino’s small cameo toward the end as some sort of Australian (?) cowboy is hilariously bad. He’s a fantastic director, winner of many awards and all-round sound guy, but Tarantino should probably stick to the day job. His acting talents are fairly mediocre and his attempt at an Australian accent – ironically because he found himself failing to produce an adequate Southern drawl – is no better. Although, at least, Tarantino’s moment has comic value that’s not out of place with the tone of the rest of the film.

But please don’t do the same in The Hateful Eight, Quentin.

Iqra Choudry

Dick Van Dyke: Mary Poppins Need I even explain? I’m sure pretty much everyone will recognise this one. As a chimney sweep, Dick Van Dyke’s attempt at the Cockney accent borders on offensive. It comes off as just a dumbsounding American accent if anything. Such a shame, because it’s so bad it kind of steals your attention away from the actual film in every scene he’s in.

Anne Hathaway: One Day Her English accent being questionable at best in Becoming Jane, Anne Hathaway decided to give it another go – with a northern twist – in the adaptation of David Nicholls’ One Day. Why, oh why Anne? It’s awful. Not only does it hardly resemble any form of British, let alone Yorkshire, accent, it changes multiple times throughout. Each year it’s like she’s from a different county. I’m pretty sure it might even go mildly Geordie at one point or another. There’s no specific moment of torture in this one – just watch the whole film, it’s actually decent enough despite the murder of the wonderful Yorkshire twang.

Nicolas Cage: Con Air ‘Put the bunneh back in the bowx.’ Nic Cage’s diabolical efforts to speak in a southern drawl in Con Air are quite possibly the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard. To be fair, this film, whilst a good action film, is a bit of a joke, so the comic value in Nic’s accent isn’t too much of a stretch of the imagination – worth a watch, but you’ll probably never want to scar your eyeballs with it again. For the best worst accent moments, look at the final scene with ‘How Can I Live’ by Trishs Yearwood in the background. Cringiest thing on the planet.

Nicolas Cage: Captain Corelli’s Mandolin And in Captain Corelli he attempts Italian. Again, he fails miserably. Aside from the desecration of the absolutely brilliant book, and Nic’s ability to annihilate any liking for a character that is the opposite of himself in almost every single way, the accent just has to take the top spot for worst movie accent EVER. Look up ‘Nicolas Cage and his legendary Italian Accent’ on YouTube to see what I mean.

Rhian Hunter

30.tvfeatures

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

TV Editors: Helen Daly and Ellie McLaren Online TV Editor: Rebecca Dooley

The American Wish List

While they may not have Midsomer Murders, they do have some decent programmes across the pond. Here are some we wish we had over here

Fallon angel

Dom Daly on her intense, confusing love for the US talk-­show host

The Tonight Show

We love you, Graham Norton, but Jimmy Fallon takes talk shows to new heights. The hilarious sketches and games let loose the wacky personalities of our favourite celebrities. Anyone who can get Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart to compete in a Lip Sync Battle deserves to be on British screens.

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It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

A brilliant comedy about five friends, A.K.A ‘The Gang’, who scheme against each another with the most ridiculous, usually illegal and idiotic plans, always ending in complete disaster. From stealing a stranger’s baby to faking their own deaths, it’s constant insanity for these characters who are, quite simply, the worst.

The Ellen Show Ellen DeGeneres’ chat show has become an absolute classic in America, her wonderful collection of guests and sarcastic humour could transition perfectly to the UK. Her dancing alone would make a great addition to the daytime TV we shouldn’t be skipping lectures for, and provides serious inspiration for Wednesdays in Tiger Tiger.

ever in my life did I think that at the ripe age of 21 would I have an inappropriate and raging crush on a 40 year old American man who dons a dress on national television to become a braces-clad, lisping, Starbucks drinking 15-year-old girl. However, I feel no shame in declaring my proud status as a Fallonator; one who is deeply obsessed with the comedy stylings of Jimmy Fallon. No, my friends, this is not a joke and these feelings are far as hell from being “totally EW”.

Much like the Beliebers or the Directioners of this world my love for the Tonight Show host is irrational, its emotional and it motivates me to almost serial killer level when forced to defend my man’s art from the haters (I’m talking to you Andres du Bouchet, writer on Conan O’Brien and total key board warrior – watch your back).

Jimmy Fallon is currently the undisputed king of late night comedy in America, and the undisputed

king of my heart. Rising to the top in 2014 when he replaced Jay Leno as The Tonight Show host, Fallon promised his undying fans that The Late Show’s format and beloved recurring characters would remain untouched. And he sure did deliver, garnering more eyes on the box than ever. His sketches are creative and endearing, showcasing the many strings to his multitalented bow. And boy does he look cute in his costumes - barber shop quartets are the new bad boys of sexy ladies, pin stripe my heart.

A big fan of the celebrity cameo, Fallon has a knack for coaxing out the funny bone in even the most straight laced of stars. Except for the time Michelle Obama came on and tried to promote exercise and kale chips to America. What ensued was a scene so awkward and contrived that not even Will Ferrell in bunches, making out with a poster of Harry Styles could salvage it. Michelle Obama is totally EW - stick to politics and having toned arms

First Lady, leave the comedy to Jimmy.

He’s a man that can sing, dance and look damn fine in a suit, using song as a way to cracks the squeaky clean shell of his celebrity guests. Far from shy however, is a common member to The Tonight Show team, bringing even more sexy back to your TV screens, Mr Justin Timberlake. We’ve seen the duo team up as rowdy campers and much more to bless the rains down in Africa and steal our hearts.

Who wouldn’t like jerry curls and short shorts on Timberlake?

My love for Jimmy Fallon can be summed up in an unforgettable Jamie Foxx Sketch entitled ‘Singing Unsexy Words Sexily’. Jimmy’s not buff, he’s no male model, and he’s certainly not a rock star, but he is testament to laughter being the quickest way to a woman’s heart. If loving Jimmy is EW then I don’t want to be right.

Rise o f t he S ilver c hannel-­Surfer Not content with colonising the cineplex, superheroes are taking over the small screen too. Tria Lawrence dons a cape and investigates

Better Call Saul As the prequel to the highly acclaimed and wellloved Breaking Bad, the story of how James McGill becomes Saul Goodman is proving to be just as dramatic. Featuring characters and clever references from Breaking Bad, this show is just as gripping for those who loved the tale of Walter White.

Saturday Night Live The comedy titan has produced timeless skits, characters and catchphrases for 40 years. The range from high-brow satire, to classic parodies launched some of the biggest careers in the industry, with Tina Fey and Adam Sandler among the list of previous cast members. SNL is the gift that keeps giving.

Fortunately, we can still experience a little American greatness, as It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Better Call Saul are ready and waiting on Netflix.

Helena Vesty

A

lthough the Golden Age of superheroes was over sixty years ago, it seems pretty clear that we are in the middle of a new one. The Superhero movie began to take the world by storm with Iron Man back in 2008.

Since then, there have been ten Marvel movies (with another two out this summer). Although DC (and the effect of its Oscar winning Dark Knight trilogy) deserves a mention, it is Marvel that should be given the credit for the new transition of superheroes to the small screen.

Marvel created its Marvel Cinematic Universe, a place in which all the Marvel films take place, meaning that us fans get a massive multi-layered world of superheroes, just like the ones in the comics. This has resulted in fans expecting more - a couple of movies a year is hardly enough time for fans who want to explore every facet of this new and complex world. As a result, superheroes have begun to transfer to the small screen at an incredible rate, with at least eight new shows since 2012 and six of them having started in the last six months. Not only this, but there are more coming.

Netflix is set to produce another four, starting with AKA Jessica Jones later this year and DC has three on order and six in development.

However, a superhero on the small screen is a very different concept to a superhero on the big screen. The cinema is a great place for the excitement - the spectacle of the dramatic showdown requiring millions in special effects. But being a superhero isn’t just about these fights. It’s also about the small ones, or the long drawn out ones that take time and patience to win.

“The supporting characters we fall in love with in the movies get the stories they deserve” It also makes sense to move to the small screen where there is more time to play with. More time means greater character and plot development.

Just think, Daredevil came out only in the last few

weeks, but had a thirteen episode season with each episode lasting around fiftyish minutes. That comes to around eleven hours of screen time, three hours more than Iron Man has had over seven years. There is nothing wrong with the development we have seen of Tony Stark, it’s actually been done pretty well. However it’s been far more satisfying to see Matt Murdock develop just as effectively over a shorter space of time.

However superheroes on television means something else. The supporting characters we fall in love with in the movies get the stories they deserve, and the supporting characters from TV get a greater screen time in which to develop and earn our attachment. These characters are important as, whilst we still get our fix of all the fantastical superpowers available from elsewhere in the story, they remind us that superpowers can be something more ordinary. This can be anything from the kindness of Claire temple in Daredevil, the intelligence of Felicity Smoak in Arrow, or in the case of Agent Peggy Carter, the ability to crush the patriarchy under her heel.

The Courier

highlightstv.31

Monday 27 April 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv

Diary of a TV Addict Hannah Bunting

T Newzoids

ITV, Wednesday, 9pm

M

ost of us were just a twinkle in the back of our parents’ eyes when iconic TV satire show Spitting Image went off the screens 20 years ago. One of the most popular shows of the 1980s and 1990s, the show poked fun at the monarchy, Maggie Thatcher and other cultural stars in a Punch & Judy-esque exhibition of hyperbolic silliness using latex dolls and hilarious impressions. As a culture who wants all the best bits of the past for ourselves, it’s not hard to understand why ITV reinvented this TV format in their new broadcast Newzoids.

With some of the original writers of Spitting Image, ITV’s new offering hit the ground running with its first episode of witty scathing cuts into the

politics that are dominating the nation at present.

No one was exempt from the Newzoid treatment: the SNP became The Proclaimers and declared ‘sod the English’; David ‘Big Dave’ Cameron and Nick ‘wet-wipe’ Clegg tried some couple’s therapy with Jeremy Kyle; and Nigel Farage was, well, just the same (there’s not much more exaggerating you can do to his already ridiculous character really).

Although centred on the political debates that have been encompassing the nation for the past month or so, the Newzoids team - including the celebrated Jon Culshaw – ensured the show had the royal seal of approval with their ‘common Prince George’ and ‘Mrs Crown’s Boys’ sketches. As an avid royalist, I revelled in the opportunity to create a ‘real-life’ depiction of that old lady on our stamps and her offspring. The portrayal of Prince George as a mini Phil Mitchell was brilliant and just how I hope the real Prince George is. Who wouldn’t want a common-as-muck laaad on the throne one day?

Despite these genius comedy moments, I did feel a little bit uncomfortable in some of the sketches.

One in particular was a sketch depicting a take on Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents including a boy taking a ‘gap-year’ to Syria, only to be confronted by his parents mid-war. The same could be said for the Obama sketch in which he comments how he is the only black man to run twice without being shot by police. Although topical and satirical, but an uneasy joke that I struggled to laugh at.

It was a shock to see this kind of show being broadcast by the infamously conservative ITV and to see it taking the piss out of itself through sketches depicting Jeremy Kyle as the twat that he is, for example. An unexpected, and (mostly) witty addition to the TV schedule, it’s a brave move by ITV that might just pay off. It worked in the 80s after all.

Ellie McLaren

here are some shows that we flirt with, the kind that catches our glance across a crowded room. One day, perhaps, we’ll take that extra step, strike up a conversation.

Maybe something amazing will happen.

Some shows lead us into brief, passionate flings, over far too soon. Both have equal potential to leave you sobbing in your pyjamas at 3am, covered in so much Dorito dust that you look like you’ve just been caught in a sandstorm.

Other shows are like long-term relationships.

That first flush of excitement, then a period of comfortable reassurance, when each episode is like a home-coming, and each passing week a reaffirmation of your love. You’re no longer in the first throws. You know, now, that you can spend some time apart without becoming an emotional wreck.

Sometimes, this is a ‘till death us do part’ deal; you’ll be together until the show shuffles off this mortal coil and concludes in one heart-wrenching, sob-inducing final episode. It’s been a good run, but it’s time to let go, while the going is good. At least you’ll always have memories and, if you’re lucky, some late night re-runs on an obscure Sky channel, or an extortionately expensive DVD boxset from Grandma at Christmas.

This is the best case scenario.

The other option is far worse. The state of affairs dreaded by TV addicts the world over.

So, you’re happily committed; the episodes keep rolling, the laughs/tears/nail-biting plot twists keep coming. All is well with the world. Then everything starts to go downhill.

“It’s been a good run, but it’s time to let go, while the going is good. At least you’ll always have memories and, if you’re lucky, some late night re-runs on an obscure Sky channel”

W1A

Peter Kay’s Car Share

BBC2, Thursday, 9pm

Lip Sync Battle

BBC iPlayer, Friday, TBC

W

1A returns for a long awaited second series this month after its successful first series saw Ian Fletcher (Hugh Bonneville) take up the position of Head of Values at the BBC, managing the illustrious company’s reputation and defining its role for the future. This slightly murky job title was not without its challenges, and Ian found himself fielding accusations of anti-Cornish bias, defending his colleagues’ wardrobes, and trying desperately to hide his private life from the tabloids.

This sharp, incisive comedy picked up a lot of attention and acclaim in 2014, when it was released by the team behind Twenty Twelve, a similar biting satire about the organisation of the London Olympics. Funny, warm and intriguing, it featured guest stars such as Carol Vorderman, Clare Balding, and even Salman Rushdie.

The second series will kick off with a ninety minute long feature length special, and then develop into three thirty minute episodes, a strategy familiar to anyone who followed BBC brilliance The Thick Of It. Long special episodes help these political farces develop into agonising stretches of terrible decisions, infuriating characters, and building tensions, which is, of course, incredibly good fun.

Viewers can look forward to another tour-de-force of cringeworthy awkwardness, office politics, and ineptitude, as the friendly faces of Bonneville, Jessica Hynes, and Sarah Parish guide us through the minefield that is trying to lead a national broadcasting company, and British institution, somehow without upsetting anybody at all.

Leila Nashef

T

his week heralds the brilliant Peter Kay’s return to the world of sitcom with Car Share, a comedy he both directs and stars

in.

He plays John Redmond, the assistant manager at a large out-of-town supermarket. Said supermarket decides to bring in a company car share scheme which sees John forced together with Kayleigh Kitson (Sian Gibson), a promotions rep. While the pair are initially reluctant to spend any extra time together, an unlikely friendship starts the blossom between the two on every trip to work. Each new episode brings some fresh insight into their individual lives and follows the twists and turns of the two’s relationship.

There are six episodes in total, all available until 28 April on BBC iPlayer. A growing number of pilots and comedies have started debuting online yet this has to be one of the most high-profile so far.

But if you’re not into this new online platform lark for TV, don’t worry; the full series will also start its run on BBC One on 29th April.

The whole series is set and filmed in the northwest (where else?), focusing almost entirely on the duo’s journey to work each morning and every episode promises to be hilarious. Of course it will be, Peter Kay’s in it – who doesn’t love him? Whatever he touches turns to gold and is guaranteed to brighten your day. We haven’t seen quite enough of him in the past few years (unless you were lucky enough to get tickets for the recent Phoenix Nights live shows), so this series is a welcome return to the (eventual) small screen.

Chloe Carroll

Spike TV, Thursday, 9pm

T

he break-out hit of 2015 so far on TV may well prove to be Lip Sync Battle, brain child of the divine comedy team, John Krasinski, and Stephen Merchant, and airing on Spike every Thursday night throughout April.

The show began as a brief bit on Jimmy Fallon’s hilarious and very popular talk show, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, when Stephen Merchant took on Joseph Gordon Levitt in a battle of mime, and was so popular, and so strangely intriguing, that it bcame a regular game segment, and visiting celebrities would be asked as a matter of course to fight for the esteemed title of Battle Winner.

Perhaps it was only a matter of time before this unique concept made it on to its own spin off show.

But every element of this show has been a brilliant surprise, from the presenter and judge LL Cool J, who I can honestly say I needed more of in my life, to the presenter-DJ Chrissy Teigen who simply cannot contain her moves when the celebrities get going. Two rounds, two songs, and some pretty amazing production values have all added up to a pretty amazing half hour of television.

People were skeptical about whether it could work. But then Anne Hathaway took on her onetime co-star Emily Blunt in an epic battle which encompassed the greatest hits of Mary J. Blige, Blackstreet, Janis Joplin and Miley Cyrus, all in one fabulous episode. Only on this show could you find dignified and respected actresses hurling daffodils at the audience in a giant fur coat, or launching mid song onto a wrecking ball from which they can gleefully flip the bird at their opponent. Mike Tyson’s on next week. Don’t miss it.

Leila Nashef

Maybe something changes. Sometimes, it’s because the main character leaves, but, for some unfathomable reason, the show keeps lurching on like an animated corpse, only without the exciting possibilities for mauling promised by the zombies on The Walking Dead. Worse, however, is the exact opposite. After months or years of clamouring, of letters to the writers (with helpful diagrams and storyboards, only some of them dripping with hysterical fan-tears) and fanfiction of increasing levels of absurdity, the audience is rewarded with what they’ve all been waiting for. Maybe that couple finally gets together. For a little while, the audience is all but dancing in the streets with joy, but then the boredom sets in. It’s pain that hooks us, watching our favourite characters tortured week after week; without it, there’s a little less to savour.

Sometimes nothing changes. Instead, the show stagnates. That couple don’t get together, and over time, the sexual tension has fizzled from a blazing bonfire to the embers at the tip of a soggy cigarette. The whole thing becomes a bit…meh.

The love affair is over, not with a bang, but with a whimper.

Those of you who can keep going and cling onto the dregs of what you once had, I commend you for your loyalty. The rest of you can take heart. Sometimes, if you love something, you have to let it go, and prepare yourself for a year of fighting over who gets to keep the DVD boxsets.

32.music

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Music Editors: Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison

Top 5

Festival

Glastonbury the hatchet With the full Glasto line-­up released Beth Evans calls for people to calm down and see the bigger picture With the full Glasto line-­up released

S

ince the provocative announcement that the self-proclaimed messiah Kanye West is to take centre stage, so to speak, at the biggest UK festival people have assigned themselves to either one of two extremes: some in outrage that they have paid their hard earned money to hear a deluded man with a god complex rant about his supposed genius, while others praise the ambitious choice to have an already legendary virtuoso who, as the late Lou Reed put it, is ‘trying to raise the bar’.

Sometimes you just need to give the people what they want, especially when festivals are involved. Music Editor Dominique Daly takes note of how to royally fuck up a festival

“It doesn’t even matter what you think of the lineup because it’s set whether it’s a spectacular success or whether he gets pelted with bottles of piss”

1. Daphne & Celeste are U.G.L.Y at Reading 2000

Before the dastardly duo even had the chance to start up their backing track at Reading Festival 2000 the booing crowd let them know they were well and truly unwelcome. Despite attempts to laugh off the booing and begin their truly terrible set, which opened to anti-favourite drools of ‘oh stick you your mama too and your daddy’ (which frankly would make even the most restrained among us bottle our piss and propel) the girls were bottled beyond belief and promptly fled to safety.

Whatever camp you fall in regarding this announcement, there is no denying that the choice to put Kanye at the top of the bill was a predictable and natural move for the Glastonbury organisers.

Naturally this exposure at the biggest UK festival will be an enormous ego-boost for him, which is probably what he doesn’t need. Currently 133,601 people have signed the petition to remove him from the line-up, surpassing its original target and marking the widespread disdain. Despite whether you are a fan of his music or not, it should be reminded that a couple of years ago an internet phenomena of prevalent hate for a musician would not have popularised such backlash.

It should be recognised by now that Glastonbury is infamous for making controversial announcements and subsequently

2. Pretty much everything that happened at Woodstock ‘99

Woodstock 1999 couldn’t have been any further from the original atmosphere of peace and love that Woodstock 1969 despite being organised to celebrate the anniversary of 30 years since the great hippy hurrah. This festival was so god damn fucked up that pretty much everything from the ticket price (extortionate and far from the non consumerist heart of its roots) to the location (hot tarmac in the summer – what idiot thought that up?). On top of that the riotous and violent aggression shown by the crowd and perpetuated by the performers led to numerous sexual assaults upon female festival goers.

3. Fiddy Cent getting pretty wet at Reading 2004

Not only did 50 Cent need a trip to the candy shop after this incident at Reading Festival 2004, he also had to pop along to Boots to get some very strong disinfectant to clean off the debris (lets leave the contents of those bottles up to your imagination) off his cap and bling. Is anyone else starting to see a pattern of Reading crowds not being the most accommodating of unwanted line-up addition. Mr Cent looked more like a child throwing a tantrum than a “mother fucking P.I.M.P” when he tried to retaliate the abuse back in the direction of the crowd. Quickly it all got a bit too much for Fiddy, he stormed off side stage, to scream at the promoter responsible surely?

4. No girls aloud: Reading & Leeds LADfest 2015

Something the music section of The Courier and many other UK publications have had a good ol’ rant about this year was the utterly oppressive state of the male dominated Reading and Leeds 2015 lineup. Standing on our screens as a massive yellow phallus the festival included a minuscule number of female acts, prompting many to shout out in a rage due to a wealth of female acts once again overlooked for the same old boys club bands. The Reading and Leeds organizers faces were well and truly red at being shamed for such a feminist fuck up

5. Kanye not have Kanye headlining Glastonbury 2015?

You are all probably sick and tired of hearing about Kayne – I know I am! But this festival fuck up is one so huge it cannot go unlisted. Over 100,000 people signed a petition to revoke Kayne’s place on the line- up. And I for one am a little bit afraid that things may get worse - watch your head Kanye, that’s not apple juice in that bottle. Not only was the public reaction bad to the news, but festival organiser Michael Eavis has now confirmed that even he wont be bothering to watch Kayne’s set, opting rather for The Moody Blues who are heading up the Acoustic Stage (a wise choice mate).

including many headline acts who don’t conform to the stereotypical white all male rock music category. Such famous incidents over the recent years include Jay Z (2008), Beyoncé (2011) and of course even last year, the controversy surrounding the choice of having Metallica, the first metal group, to headline. With such gambles there has always been the concern that the choice to headline would subsequently alienate a large majority of the people attending who expect a certain kind of vibe. However, it has been proven in the recent years that such controversial acts have proved a wide success and thus silencing the critics. While many opposed the idea of these unconventional artists headlining a renowned festival that supposedly is invested with more alternative music, it would not be said in hindsight that Jay Z, Beyoncé and even Metallica were some of the greatest headliners Glastonbury ever had.

Going back to when Glastonbury began in the 70’s, it started out as a smaller, anti-establishment hippy haven. Considering this, particularly with those who have been attending Glastonbury all their lives, many long for the nostalgia of the old days. In this sense, many would protest that Kanye goes against everything Glastonbury used to stand for.

However, since it began Glastonbury has in fact been constantly evolving, accepting more and more different variations of music and performers from different genres and backgrounds. Like with all things it has had to adapt to the times – and this is not a sell-out move. It’s refreshing to see something different, and actually breaking tradition is okay.

The fact of the matter is no matter how great the protests are it doesn’t even matter what you think of the line-up because it’s set whether it’s a spectacular success or whether he gets pelted with bottles of festival-goers piss. At least if you’re going you can say that you were there the day the infamous Kayne West headlined.

Memoirs of a Rock Star

With Patti Smith announcing a follow up autobiography to the amazing Just Kids, Music Editor Jamie Shepherd looks at what makes a good memoir -­ and a bad one

W

hen I found out that Patti Smith was releasing a second autobiography my body spasmed with excitement. Her first memoir Just Kids was a phenomenal read, but really anything produced by that woman is nothing less than stellar.

Her relationship with queer artist Robert Mapplethorpe is documented in a frank, warts and all style, and it times makes one of the greatest women that ever walked the Earth look a bit shit. The process of writing her first and second memoirs is not a vanity project to make a cheeky bit of swift cash but is a means for Smith to expunge some of the demons she’s collected from a wild wild life on the cusp of the edge. By living on the edge, Smith’s life story is something captivating. It’s something that we should want to hear and allow ourselves to be enveloped in its majesty. Unfortunately, not all memoirs are as worthy as our time, and some are just fucking gash.

“Not all memoirs are worthy of our time and some are just fucking gash”

Take Miley Cyrus’ 2009 effort Miles to Go as an example. Published when she was only 16 years old, Cyrus’ autobiography somehow manages to flesh out at 280 pages. The fact that she was obviously born with silver spoon lodged quite firmly up her arsehole makes it incredibly hard to wash that Cyrus is just an “ordinary girl” living her “dream life”. You’re the daughter of ‘Achey Breaky Heart’ chart topper Billy Ray Cyrus. You have no idea what it’s like to grow up with a fuck head rockstar for a parent, nor a grasp of every day troubles.

You’ve not even twerked on Robin Thicke yet infront of fuck loads of people so it’s not as if you’ve even experienced any real detractors or the true travails of a life in centre stage.

When memoirs try to reach out to the critics

though, it’s almost invariably going to result in some form of embarrassment or failed apology, and where better to find that than in the autobiography of shady R&B star R Kelly. In the ridiculously named Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me, Kelly defends accusations of misogyny in his song ‘You Remind Me Of Something’ because of lyrics that compare women to objects and cars. The way he defends himself, however, is relatively lacklustre in that he claims that “The song is a compliment to women, not an insult. We fellas love our jeeps”.

Obviously it seems that the entire movement of second wave feminism and the whole concept of the objectified women didn’t get to R Kelly.

“The fact that she was obviously born with silver spoon lodged quite firmly up her arsehole makes it incredibly hard to wash that Cyrus is just an “ordinary girl” living her “dream life””

Obviously not all memoirs are self-indulgent piles of wank juice, and the best ones, I always found are by people you felt you didn’t really want to know that much about anyway. Fuck your Madonna’s and Michael Jackson’s but add to your reading list Rat Girl the autobiography by Throwing Muses frontwoman Kirsten Hirsh. I’d essentially forgotten about this band until an old Riot Grrrl pal of mine hoyed the book this way when I needed something to read on a train journey. The book is an uncompromising look at one year of Hirsh’s life, but in the year she battles mental illness and has to deal with the birth of her first child.

While the music is angsty enough as it is, I would not have given Throwing Muses the renewed investment if I hadn’t invested myself in the pages of a sublimely written memoir.

The Courier

music.33

Monday 27 April 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music courier_music

Cherry Bomb

Electronic Blanket

Tyler the Creator

Max Palmer-­Geaves talks Record Store Day, nu-­disco, deep house, and Winnie the Pooh inspired Swedish producers

2

015 is turning out to be a good year for gression. Cherry Bomb shows us a different preOdd Future followers- Earlsweatshirt has occupation- namely, the problematic existence just dropped us an album, Frank Ocean’s that comes with being in the spotlight and trying eagerly awaited second instalment is on the ho- to deal with fame. This is seen in opening track rizon and then of course, Tyler the Creator has ‘Deathcamp’ and the slowed down but certainly released his fourth album Cherry Bomb. Dressed no softer ‘Buffalo’. The clash between lounge and in Tyler’s usual blast of creative (albeit debatable) harrowing guitars has certainly shown Tyler to get wordplay, with a mixture of heavy bass, distinct the conversation of synths and strings down to a T. synths and a handful of jazz rhythms- there’s no ‘Cherry Bomb’ depicts a tale of a man who is in a denying that Tyler has stayed true to form and relationship with an under-aged girl and then goes his dedicated attachment to NERD and Pharrell. on to contemplate suicide in his usual controverThere is the burning desire to know which of Ty- sial style. This is then contrasted in some of Tyler’s ler’s alter-egos this album pertains to and whether more abstract tracks of his career: namely, ‘Pilot’ or not this changes the order and ‘Blow my Load’.

“Tyler may have begun the albums should be in. This is There is still that burning highly dependent on whether to come to terms with his question of when Tyler will you believe that Tyler’s previ- previous demons and sought reach the ceiling of his potenous albums were a trilogy and closure in his confessionals” tial or if he’ll ever even achieve that the coming of this fourth it? Cherry Bomb has met some album may have resulted in a quadrilogy. Maybe criticism from Odd Future followers, who feel that Cherry Bomb is the potential “Earlwolf ” foresight- Tyler’s lost his quality crux when it comes to coned in storyline that was potrayed in his first album, tent. Maybe he’s just “growing up”.

Bastard. Both the novelty factor and cryptic chalIt is clear that with time, Tyler may have begun lenge laid out here highlight that it’s all about de- to come to terms with his previous demons and coding the riddles wrapped amongst Tyler’s tech- sought closure in his confessionals. Now, howevnical word play. er, he is faced with the challenge of living in the The self-proclaimed genius is a firm believer that spotlight and under scrutiny. The workings of the he encompasses everything from outlandish talent young creator’s mind and the influences that interto a somewhat intolerable personality. Confidence act with the way he puts pen to paper will always and raw skill has clearly got Tyler a hell of a long be of interest to a wide and varied audience. Hopeway. At the age of 24, he’s already on his album 4 fully, the point where Tyler runs out of things to and potentially, taken steps towards a more mature say is far off in the future, as where would the fun sound. Maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves, but be if we didn’t have a whole album of metaphor, aghe’s certainly showing signs of maturity, with less gression and a different kind of feelings to unpick. preoccupation with releasing his adolescent agCharlotte Maxwell

Sound and Color Alabama Shakes

White Men Are Black Men Too Young Fathers

A

Y

labama Shakes were big news in 2011, a touted signing to Rough Trade. Following their critically acclaimed debut Boys & Girls, the band performed at a few festivals in the summer and then became hermits. After a three year hiatus, Alabama Shakes have broke their silence and are back with Sound & Color.

Their second effort shifts from the blue of Blues to supplant themselves as the rock of Rock & roll.

There is less of that Southern, country piano swapping them for Heath Fogg’s languid garage-rock riffs, and Howard tones down the whimpers, substituting them for Robert Plant-style roars.

The title track and opener ‘Sound & Color’ chimes a xylophone and boasts with elegant violins, while Howard tells us verily that ‘This life ain’t like a book’ before delicately crooning ‘I wanna touch a human being’. The slow-burning optimistic reality of romanticism is that “Love is sound and color”; it is ardent and it is all around us. This opener sounds like it belongs at the end of an album, but the dainty sensuality of the title-track leaves us lusting.

On the second track of the album, ‘Don’t Wanna Fight’, Howard rips through octaves that I didn’t think were compatible in melodies, or even audible to the human ear. The track’s indiscriminate nod to funk is a premiere of the non-Americana Alabama Shakes, and a promise of things to come later on in the LP, such as the steamy sex appeal of ‘Gimme All Your Love’.

‘Gemini’ surprises with cosmic synths filling out the soothing rhythm of the bass and drums here, before finishing the album with ‘Over My Head’, which could have been written or sang by Prince.

Their debut was exemplary country roots rock, but Sound & Color brings with it a consuming attraction, with their change of angle and new-found ruffling groove.

Connor McDonnell

Electronic goings on: Record Store Day

More than this A$AP Rocky - Long Live A$AP Another famous ranter and raver who loves to court controversy just as much as Tyler, A$AP Rocky’s debut album is a modern hiphop classic. With collaborations with everyone from 2 Chainz, Santigold, Florence Welch and Action Bronson, this is the album that spawned the inimitable ‘Fucking Problems’.

OFWGKTA - Radical A mixtape from the collective that gave birth to wee Tyler and a veritable selection of tracks.

This was the first long play release featuring Earl Sweatshirt as part of the collective and features samples from Mos Def and Wiz Khalifa tracks. Stand out tracks include ‘Splatter’, ‘Orange Juice’ and ‘Swag Me Out’ and at times is quite dominated by the young Creator. This is a perfect opportunity to see where it all began.

Foil Deer Speedy Ortiz

oung Fathers are ahead of their time.

Previous LPs, Dead and Tape One have showcased their unconventional sound and they were widely recognized for it, receiving critical acclaim and the Mercury Prize in 2014.

This style somewhat continues here on White Men Are Black Men Too. ‘Still Running’ is a perfect beginning and sets the scene in an all-encompassing way. With the album named as drastically as it is, it becomes evident that references to slavery and black suppression are present throughout with lyrics such as ‘got a number but you don’t speak’ and ‘fighting through the torture’ highlighting this theme. ‘27’ is a much more simplistic beat and chord sequence. When listening you realize the attempt to connect with the empathetic and uplifting side of your psyche, a niche one but one that is definitely there. I would say this comes out even further in the heart-warming ballad that is ‘Nest’.

Who knows what Young Fathers are referring too specifically but it doesn’t matter because the heartfelt thank you to what seems to be the nest of origin, the nest someone has created or the nest that has always existed.

Other than that there are familiar tribal sounds and styles that really come through, particularly in the first half of Ole Rock ‘n’ Roll. Not only does this song give a gentle nod to the fact that black culture gave to the world rock and roll, it adds that intimidating yet accessible feel. It will perk you up in a way that is slightly aggressive and jumpy, but because of the emotions and references to struggle that compile to moments of jubilation. This will hopefully be remembered as a great piece of work and an integral part of Young Fathers development into even broader success.

Alex Mackenzie

M

assachusetts’ Speedy Ortiz serve up another slice of crunchy 90s-inflected alt-rock in second album Foil Deer, a follow up to 2013’s rapturously-received debut Major Arcana. The new album picks up essentially where Major Arcana left off: Sadie Dupuis and friends are still mining their seam of early 90s-style slacker rock, with the low-key, lowmaintenance vibe of Pavement, the loud-quiet dynamics of Pixies and the naivety of Weezer remaining obvious touchstones for the band.

It’s an exuberant album, Foil Deer, but something of a hit-and-miss one. The cartoonish riffs of ‘Raising the Skate’ and ‘Swell Content’ are winners, as is ‘The Graduates’, a ‘Say It Ain’t So’-indebted paean to high-school wastrels and losers everywhere (lyrics about bunking off lessons to smoke illicit cigarettes interspersed with assertions that Dupuis “was the best at being second place”). ‘Zig’ is a weirdly compelling mixture of plodding, geargrinding dissonance and delicate finger-picking, while ‘My Dead Girl’ is the best of the bunch, a down-tempo, sweet-sour slow-burner that builds to a crescendo of maudlin broken chords, guitar squeals and pretty harmonies.

Other tracks, such as ‘Homonovus’ and ‘Dot X’, don’t quite get where you can tell they’re wanting to go; they don’t cohere or coalesce, they feel a little aimless and meandering. ‘Dot X’ growls and grumbles for nearly four minutes without really penetrating, while ‘Homonovus’ cuts up very Blue Album-ish noodling with sudden angry thrashes that come across as somewhat forced.

Foil Deer isn’t a big leap forward for Speedy Ortiz, and neither is it anything we haven’t already heard before – but it’s a diverting enough offering for fans of off-kilter college rock, and, Jesus, it’s better than anything Weezer themselves have actually put out recently.

Kate Bennett

I thought I’d include a little piece on Record Store Day, in case any of you aren’t aware of it, because it’s a pretty cool little culture. On this one special day in the year artist’s release one off records, usually 7 inch’s, which are highly collectable due to their scarcity and rarity. This almost always leads to huge queues running out the door of stores like Reflex and Beatdown and into the street. It first came into being in 2007 when over seven hundred independent record stores in the USA came together to celebrate their unique culture, eight years on and Record Store Day is now a global phenomenon. Artists play secret, in-store live shows and there are meet and greets with musicians and DJ’s. It’s a day for geeks who love vinyl to come together and geek out together without fear of being called hipster douchebags by blokes in Nike Hauraches and an entire outfit bought and paid for by mummy in Capology. If you’ve never bought vinyl or been into a shop and you’re a bit of a music nerd, then I highly recommend you try it. People in independent stores are always very friendly and happy to help.

Preview: Isaac Tichauer at Cosmic Ballroom, 28 April I reckon Tichauer’s smooth sound will perfectly fill the ballroom. Being signed to the French Express label is pretty rad; especially in the summer months, they have been churning out feel good, tropical house records from artists such as Jonas Rathsman and spangly Nu-Disco records from the likes of Perseus for years. For me though, Tichauer presents the more forward thinking approach to dance music. It has an ethereal quality, which I really enjoy, and his album Devotion is a nice little listen. French Express have been responsibly for some of the smoothest deep house releases over the last few years but for me nothing has epitomized the sound better than Isaac Tichauer’s ‘Changes’; the slowly building, gently grooving, emotion inducing stormer of a tune. I reckon it could make for a pretty dreamy night in the Ballroom, although apparently they’re now charging for water in Cosmic, which could be enough to put some of you off. Still, at least there’s now no chance of getting “off your hinges” and deciding it’s a good idea to drown yourself.

Listen to Isaac Tichauer – ‘Changes’

You Need To Hear This: HNNY Swedish producer Johan Cederberg, who goes by the Winnie The Pooh inspired pseudonym HNNY, is releasing his debut album soon. Though he’s been around for ages I thought this would be a good excuse to bring him up. Until recently HNNY spent most of his time touring playing his fantastically groovy DJ sets all around the world, though he has also released a string of EPs and singles and would describe himself as a producer rather than a DJ. The Stockholm natives Boiler Room set is certainly worth a watch and you really get a sense for his playful personality as he flails around to his own edit of Steve Reich’s ‘Nagoya Marimba’. Though he started out producing fairly methodical house music three years ago, his style has matured magnificently. Cedarberg’s songs are composed largely of samples he takes from recordings made whilst out on excursions in nature. As a result he has a unique sound that has a really natural quality to it.

Unlike a lot of current producers HNNY manages to breath life into his releases and it’s intelligent, well-crafted dance music for those who are playful at heart. I reckon his album is probably a pretty safe bet.

Listen to: HNNY – ‘Most Really Pretty Girls Have Pretty Ugly Feet’

Max produces under the name of Hues.

You can check him out on Facebook or at soundcloud.com/hues

34.gaming

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Gaming Editors: Sophie Baines and Ben Tyrer

5 Stars of Simulation Living a different life?

Kezziah Hall takes us through her top 5 simulation games

5

Spore

Maybe this one doesn’t exactly count as a realistic simulation game as such (though Goat Simulator isn’t exactly oozing realism), but it would be such a shame not to include it! Spore is a game that allows you to take a ‘God-like’ role, creating your own species, deciding whether to put an eye on the back of its head or five noses where its fingers should be. You then release it into the wild and guide it through evolution to become an accomplished species. It’s not only a fun game, but it’s also rewarding!

4

Euro Truck Simulator 4

One of the beautiful things about simulation games is how it takes the ordinary and makes it into something fun that you can play for hours and hours. The game is essentially delivering cargo from point A to point B, but there is something so wonderfully liberating about that. It’s such a great feeling to receive your pay check and upgrade your truck. Plus, the game is stunning, with highly realistic landscapes as you drive across the continent.

You really feel like you’re in your own truck, enjoying the sights around you.

3

Cities: Skylines

After the dismal release of SimCity in 2013, there was not much hope for the city-building simulator. But this year Cities: Skylines arrived: shiny, new and exciting. It has all the basics of the games we have seen before, but it’s beautiful to look at and highly enjoyable to play. SimCity had ruled the genre up to this point, but this game offers so many new features, giving you so much more freedom over your city, and a real sense of pride to see it grow and stand strong. I really think Cities: Skylines saved the city-building simulator.

2

Sim City 4

1

The Sims 2

I couldn’t talk about city-building simulators without mentioning this classic, which not only had me fall in love with the genre, but it received positive reviews all-round. SimCity 4 was not a super easy game, forcing you to think and put together a plan for your city. To see it all come together is very rewarding. Then, if you wish, you can go into God mode and wreak havoc for your city. To see such a great series of games come crashing down with Maxis’ 2013 offering was heartbreaking, but that just shows how great SimCity 4 was: its legacy shall live on.

It was so difficult to choose just one from this series. The Sims, in my opinion, is the greatest simulation series of all time. Perhaps not for the realism we see in Euro Truck Simulator, or the forwardthinking demanded of us in city-builders, but for how lovable these games are.

Whether you want to leave your Sims in the dungeon of doom without a door, or turn them into billionaires, there is always hours of fun to be had in this game. The Sims 2 is also one of the bestselling PC games of all time, so I can’t be alone in thinking this.

Build your own PC

Ollie Burton outlines step-­by-­step the method he used to build his very own custom computer, creating a monster to end any PC vs Console argument

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he debates between console and PC gamers are as old as time itself. Or at least the 1980s. Each has their merits – consoles have some great exclusives, PCs offer customisability, and so on.

Regardless, I myself am a PC fanatic, and if you would care to give me a few of your precious minutes, I can give you a list of parts with which to build a console-slaughtering gaming machine on a budget. Please understand that I lack space to go through the building process in this small rectangle upon which my voice has been imprinted in the form of text.

There are plenty of guides on the internet showing you how to assemble your new PC step-by-step, so I will merely provide you with a list of parts. But they will be kick-ass.

“No gaming build would be complete without a graphics card, and the GTX 750Ti from NVidia is plenty powerful”

We’ll build in the Cooler Master Elite case (£35), a small, sexy number with a tiny footprint. It gives us plenty of options to work with, such as USB 3.0 for fast data transfer, and even liquid cooling if you so desired! To crunch our numbers, grab Intel’s Pentium Anniversary G3258 CPU (£60). While it only has a dual-core processor, this chip overclocks like a monster, even with its 3.2GHz clock speed right out of the box. Be warned, some games (e.g. Far Cry 4) will only officially work on quad core processors, there are third party tools which remove the lock and such titles will run perfectly fine with the Pentium.

Go forth, young PC Padawan

Since our case uses the small ‘Mini-ITX’ form factor, we’ll need a little motherboard to fit inside it.

The MSI B85L board will do nicely (£60), a nofrills board that will play well with our other components. To fill the RAM slots, get two 4GB sticks of HyperX Fury 1600MHz memory (£50).

We’ll obviously need somewhere to store our games, so a Seagate 1TB 7200RPM hard disk (£40) will give us nippy loading times while providing plenty of space for those huge installs ((Shadow of Mordor!).

No gaming build would be complete without a nice chunky graphics card, and the GTX 750Ti from NVidia is plenty powerful for 1080p gaming on high-ultra settings (£100). I’m partial to EVGA’s version of the card, but another reliable vendor such as ASUS or Gigabyte will be perfectly fine. Lastly, to fuel our diminutive powerhouse, I highly recommend the EVGA 500W PSU (£35).

Our system will only draw around 300W at load, leaving plenty of headroom for overclocking.

Obviously you’ll need an operating system to install, so use an existing disc of your own or search for the Windows 10 technical preview and download it for free.

So there you go, everything you need to build a badass gaming PC. At a total cost of £380, it’s a whisper more expensive than a console, but leaves you open to upgrade the same machine in the future. Now go forth Padawan, and hold your head high as a proud member of the #PCMasterRace.

What I’m Playing: Shovel Knight One of the best 2D games of 2014, Ollie Burton shares the reasons he’s playing the side-­scrolling modern retro classic

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get the feeling with many modern game developers that they’re using the whole ’16bit retro graphics’ thing to seem hip and/or cool, although I buy neither. In fact, I’m actually more wary of contemporary titles that look this way now, as usually it’s a fiendish trick designed to empty my wallet before I take a proper look at the game as a whole. Thankfully with Shovel Knight, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Knight For those of you who have never heard of this glorious title, Shovel Knight is a loving throwback to the old SNES/Megadrive-era 2D platformers such as Zelda II and Ducktales. The latter is a very good comparison actually, as this game retains the pogo-bounce mechanic of Scrooge McDuck, miserly avian protagonist of old. The controls are nicely simplistic and fluid, and the colour palette is simply gorgeous, like a more vibrant version of the original Castlevania.

Story-wise there’s nothing particularly groundbreaking here, but once again I feel like this simply reinforces the nostalgic feel that is present throughout. Your female friend is kidnapped by a powerful overlord figure, and you must fight through a smorgasbord of themed adversaries in order to rescue them (after a suitably epic final showdown of course). Once again, you’ll notice immediate parallels to our plumber pals and older Megaman games.

Throughout your journey, you will be controlling the eponymous Shovel

Knight and you receive ample opportunity to upgrade and outfit him along the way. Using (you guessed it) a shovel, you can find treasure in each stage that you can exchange for relics, magical items to traverse difficult terrain or use as weapons against your foes. You’ll also meet a friendly bard, who has lost all of his music sheets, and cannot perform without them. Locating and returning these will allow you to hear any of the game’s soundtrack pieces at will.

On that note, I must commend Jake Kaufmann, the sound artist behind this game’s musical score. It consists of simple repeating loops, much as you’d expect at this point in the article, but the sheer number of tracks and variety within is

breathtaking. I’d expect nothing less from the guy behind the soundtracks for Double Dragon Neon and Shantae: Risky’s Revenge, mind you. Kaufmann even offers all of his major works on bandcamp on a pay-what-you-want basis, so I highly recommend that you check out his stuff.

So how does Shovel Knight stand in today’s uberhigh budget cinematic gaming world?

Very well. Extremely well, in fact. It is a perfect demonstration of how you don’t need to spend a million dollars on graphic design to produce a top-tier game, and while it’s fairly short, I would much rather spend a few hours with Shovel Knight than say, Call of Duty 17: Rehashed Warfare.

It’s cheap too, at £10.99, this is one of the few games that I’m happy to have paid full price for on Steam.

I can dig it.

The Courier

gaming.35

Monday 27 April 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming

Reload: the Crash Bandicoot series

Rhian Hunter goes back in time to have a look at one of the best characters in gaming history and even super-powers to gain upon the defeat of each warp-room’s boss. Perhaps my favourite addition in this one is the wumpa-bazooka. Sounds insane, and indeed it is.

Get HYPE: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

Kezziah Hall raves about “The game remains the same the next game in the hit delightful adventure plat- Witcher series to be released form with new villains, new from Projekt RED levels, and more to collect”

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rash Bandicoot. What a guy. Quite possibly my favourite video game character of all time, Crash Bandicoot’s adventures through time and space are enough to entertain for hours, even days, on end. From collecting hundreds of wumpa fruit in a futile attempt to build up your life-count, to toiling over finding that last crate to obtain the silver gem, the sheer extent of collectables and challenges make the game the absolute classic that it is.

While the original eponymous game was perhaps the most awkwardly difficult, its successors more than make up for the irritating slip-ups in the first instalment. For example, in order to complete the first game, you had to complete each and every level with no mistakes whatsoever, collecting ALL of boxes, including bonuses. My eight-year-old self, not yet refined in my Crash techniques, was often shouting for my ps1 expert mum to get me to the next level. The 2d linear gameplay style, reminiscent of the old Amiga classics like Superfrog and

James Pond, whilst not diminishing the classic good-guy bad-guy storyline, can sometimes get a bit frustrating.

However the second instalment in the franchise, Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, is arguably the best of the lot – with new aspects introduced, (coloured gems, secret levels, polar bear rides and JETPACKS!!!!) the game remains the same delightful adventure platform but with the addition of new villains, new levels to explore, and more to collect. As well as all of that, the secret levels and hidden quirks – such as the trick with the polar bear in the second warp-room… – create an innovative dynamic; you’ll find yourself constantly checking every tiny blip in the graphics to make sure you’ve not missed anything important. I think I know pretty much every single little Easter egg in this game…

A reasonably difficult sequel to live up to, but Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped rises to the challenge wonderfully. Again, there’s newly themed levels,

If the trilogy isn’t enough, there’s Crash Team Racing and Crash Bash. CTR is a MarioKart-esque racing game, with a selection of the best characters from the original trilogy. There’s the choice between a battle – which consists of collecting weapons and multiplayer action – and a race; but of course it’s not quite as simple as that. In adventure mode you’ll face different challenges, not only the simple race against time, and boss races, but also skill games, like collecting the letters C, T and R hidden alongside the track in each level. Crash Bash is a collection of mini-games, including pogo-stick-painting, ice-rink battles with baby polar bears, and classic pinball with a twist. Probably the easiest game to waste endless hours on, – if my PS3 collated the amount of time my housemates and I have collectively spent on this game I think it would just break – Crash Bash assembles both the good and evil characters in a final showdown.

The secret warp-room is the hidden gem here; introducing a bunch of new types of level, especially necessary after you’ve wasted endless hours trying and failing to beat the insanely difficult and refreshing gameplay, in such a way as to get you addicted all over again. I think my flatmates’ coop adventure is around the 140% complete mark now… And we still toil over it for hours on end.

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5. Doom You can’t beat the classics. Well, you can, or this wouldn’t be at number 5, but still, the point stands. Ask just about any gamer and they’ll be able to tell you at least something about Doom. For a lot of us, this was where gaming (or, at the very least, first-person shooters) started. A killer soundtrack, fast and frenzied gameplay and a legacy that’s inspired practically every FPS ever released - it would be a crime to omit Doom from this list, despite its age.

3. Unreal Tournament 2004 Arena shooters have mutated and evolved quite a lot since Quake III Arena, but for me this game is where it peaked.

Unreal Tournament is a very simplistic but has a very satisfying mayhem of gore and explosions, with a wide range of gameplay modes, gorgeous maps (Morpheus, anyone?), and of course weaponry, to keep it fresh. An honourable mention also has to go out to the UT2004 for being the best rocket launcher in any game, ever. At all.

4. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare It begrudges me more than a little to acknowledge Call of Duty,, the shameless microtransaction-and-verbal-abusesimulator that it now is, but it can’t be denied that Infinity Ward’s leap out of WWII into modern infantry simulation was seamless, impressive, and a landmark for the genre. A rapid downhill trend following this installation in the series doesn’t affect the quality of the game itself – and that quality is very, very high.

2. Half Life 2 No stranger to ‘top 5’ lists, Half-Life 2 demolished every previously established notion of first-person shooters with its emphasis on rich, storydrenched environments, memorable characters still adored today, and creative application of Newtonian physics. Simply put, none of those things are what you’d expect from any game in which you play as ‘man with gun’, but they’re all exactly what Half-Life 2 is still known to do best.

1. Halo 3 If Half-Life 2 nails what shooters don’t do best, Halo 3 does everything they do accomplish to the highest possible degree.

A beautiful and well-deserved conclusion to an amazing trilogy, with music to die for, a compelling narrative from start to finish, and combat that makes you feel like a bona fide action

movie hero. What do you mean ‘it’s not a trilogy’? I think you must be mistaken. If you’re reading this with any variation of the main theme in your head, then I’ve said enough.

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here are so, so, so many RPGs around these days that it’s often hard to separate the overwhelmingly amazing from the tiringly generic. I can say with confidence that The Witcher series belongs to the former.

Developed by Polish studio CD Projekt RED, the first two instalments breathed new life into the genre, providing colourful, exciting worlds rife with ruthless enemies and challenges, a host of interesting characters voiced by talented actors, a combat system that kept you on your toes, and choices that really forced you to think. So basically, you had the whole package! And The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt seems that it will have all this and more, proving itself to be one of the most exciting releases this year. With the brilliance of the last two games, I am expecting something great.

From footage and trailers seen so far, CD Projekt RED’s third ‘Witcher’ offering will definitely be a ‘wild’ ride, but it remains beautifully crafted and refined. You once again play as Geralt, the eponymous Witche, essentially a superhuman. From the gameplay trailers released, the gameplay looks to be very exciting.

“The game promises a huge map, along with plenty of exciting content to enjoy in this vast space”

Wild Hunt allows you to combine your magical powers and physical combat to produce some devastating, and very gory, effects. You must also search for herbs and ingredients to produce your own potions using your alchemy skills, to heal yourself or enhance your abilities. You can also hunt various creatures, from small animals to terrifying beasts. You can use these animals to craft your own items. For hardcore RPG fans, it looks like you have plenty of room to be self-sufficient.

From what I have seen so far, the game also looks very visually pleasing, making the most of modern gaming technology. One thing I am mainly excited for is that the game promises a huge map, along with plenty of exciting content to enjoy in this vast space. I really don’t want to see a repeat of Assassin’s Creed III, which offered plenty of room to explore, but little motivation to do so. I have total faith in The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt to be anything but boring.

36.science&technology

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Science Editors: Laura Staniforth and Penny Polson Online Science Editor: Jack Marley

Brought back from the brink

Can we raise dead species? Ollie Burton checks out the possibility of a resurrection moment

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xtinction is arguably the greatest fear for any species. If we consider organisms to be purely biological machines, when all philosophy and morality is removed, their sole purpose is to reproduce and survive. Sometimes, this simply can’t be the case. Whether it’s extremely severe predation, or a catastrophic natural disaster such as the K-Pg extinction event which led to the loss of 75% of all species on Earth (including the dinosaurs), if conditions change rapidly enough, they will not last.

Take the Bucardo for example, a type of large wild goat formerly found in the Pyrenees. Over the course of a few centuries, humans hunted the creature to near extinction – by 1989 only a dozen

individuals were known to exist in the wild. A decade later, a single female remained, named Celia by the team studying her. She was fitted with a radio tracking collar for monitoring and was eventually found dead, crushed under a fallen tree. With Celia ended the entire Bucardo species, and it was declared officially extinct on January 6th, 2000.

Skip forward to 2003, when scientists working in Zaragoza and Madrid successfully implanted Bucardo nuclei into genetically-blanked goat egg cells. The nuclei used were that of Celia, preserved since her death so that the species may be reborn in the future. Exactly this was achieved, the new eggs implanted into surrogate mother goats. However, only 7 of the 57 implantation tri-

als resulted in pregnancy, and to make matters worse, only one did not end with a miscarriage.

Only one of the mothers managed to carry Celia’s clone to the full term, but it was delivered successfully through C-section by reproductive physiologist José Folch. The team had managed to revive a completely extinct species, from beyond the supposed point of no return.

Unfortunately, the celebrations were fleeting. The baby Bucardo could not breathe properly, and was seen to be visibly struggling to take in air. An extra lobe had grown on the side of one of its lungs, and Celia’s clone died within ten minutes of birth. The Bucardo species had been lost once again in an instant.

“The nuclei used were that of Celia, preserved since her death so that the species may be reborn in the future”

Image: Juan LaCruz

Like many areas of modern science, cloning is relatively new and exciting. This does mean however that we still have a great deal to learn about the mechanics of producing successful clones without birth defects like that which affected the baby clone. There are also further issues than the immediately obvious – just because we might be able to biologically ‘resurrect’ a lost organism, it does not mean that we can recreate the social or physical environments they would require to rebuild a viable population. Furthermore, testing cloning methods requires substantial loss of life in existing species, and some scientists argue that we should take more care in preserving vulnerable groups that we can still save rather than spend time and resources on those we failed to.

Large high quality DNA samples also need to be collected to facilitate cloning of an organism, and for something like the often-referenced woolly mammoth, this can take an extremely long time and vast sums of money.

That said, performing de-extinction on multiple species could offer huge insight into the field of evolutionary genetics, which may potentially lead to new medical technologies and further our understanding of the planet as a whole. Secondly, bringing back previously-extant organisms might allow us to more efficiently restore lost ecosystems and habitats, better conserving species under threat in the present. Maybe most importantly of all, we owe it to those kinds driven to non-existence by human carelessness to bring them back, given the opportunity. And is that not our obligation as scientists, to marvel at the beauty of the natural world and everything it contains?

It is currently estimated that species are becoming extinct at a rate of between 1000 and 10,000 times the natural level. As technology improves, there seems to be a growing consensus among biologists that cloning will become a very real means of conservation for those threatened by us.

This field will become very interesting in the next few years. Perhaps even more so because of the reaction of humanity to this new ability. I hope we use it well.

The science behind Daredevil Allie Irvine GHOYHV LQWR WKH WHFKQLFDOLWLHV RI 1HWÀ L[¶V FULWLFDOO\ DFFODLPHG QHZ VXSHUKHUR VHULHV

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att Murdock was blinded as a child by radioactive waste that consequently hyper-enhanced his senses.

In Netflix and Marvel’s latest superhero extravaganza, he fights for justice as a lawyer in the day, and as a vigilante during the night.

His super powers enable him to smell through buildings, hear from many miles away and feel ink on paper. He also perceives using ‘radar sense’ where electromagnetic waves are emitted from his brain, bounce off objects and are picked up once again by his brain enabling him to ‘see’. With our puny normal human senses, this kind of sensory magic seems unimaginable, but maybe some of our buddies in the animal kingdom might give us a little insight into these abilities? From crazy canines to dope dolphins, there are more ways to find your way about than just having a look.

“Evolutionarily, he should look like some weird human cheese-string origami” Dogs can detect odours in parts per trillion, meaning they can smell a single teaspoon of sugar in a swimming pool. Their nose structure has two parts: one dedicated to breathing and one to sniffing, separated by a fold of tissue. When we smell air just goes in and out, dogs by comparison relocate this air into an area containing a labyrinth of tissues covered in olfactory receptors. Furthermore when we breathe out incoming senses are pushed out by the wave of air, dogs appear to swirl the air

understand how far away the object is from the animal to create a picture of the surroundings, pretty handy for working your way around the ocean or, in Daredevil’s case, the dark streets of Hell’s Kitchen, New York. Toothed whales such as dolphins have a protrusion on their forehead called the melon that focuses sound and the inner ears of bats house a concentration of receptor cells that makes them extremely sensitive to frequency changes. If we use the animal kingdom as a model for how to build a Daredevil he’d look like some weird human cheese-string origami, with many dangling sensory organs and folds to house the many receptor cells.

“Dogs can detect odours in parts per trillion, meaning they can smell a single teaspoon of sugar in a swimming pool” out in a manner that promotes incoming scents.

The star mole has 22 trunks containing nearly 100,000 nerve fibres. It has 6 times the feeling power of human hands.

Electroreception is used by cockroaches, bees and many aquatic species. Platypuses have electrical receptors in their bills enabling them to detect electrical impulses of their prey. The creature with the closest representation of Daredevil’s ‘radar sense’ is the Elephantnose fish. This fish that lives in murky deep water generates weak electric fields

to locate objects around them. Its distinctive long snout is used for this effect, acting as an antenna receiving the electric waves that bounced off objects.

Echolocation is used by dolphins, sperm whales and bats to perceive their environments. Clicks are generated, bouncing off the object and being perceived by an acoustic receiver. Low-frequency sounds are good for ‘seeing’ things that are far away, high-frequency sounds are good for perceiving details on close objects. The length of the received sound wave is compared with the emitted one to

However cases of humans using echolocation are well-documented. Daniel Kish known as ‘The Batman’ (just to make things confusing) makes palatal clicks with his tongue. He can distinguish between wood and metal by their respective dull and warm tones. Our brains are surprisingly malleable; It has been found that people who employ echolocation have adapted the ‘visual’ part of their brain to processes these echoes: so it’s not completely impossible and otherworldly. But, as for all the back flips and butt-kicking? That’s a little bit more unbelievable.

The Courier

technology&science.37

Monday 27 April 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science

The rules of attraction

Charlotte Maxwell is wary of a study claiming to have found UK’s most beautiful

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t has been said time and time again that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and given this, we should naturally infer that there is not one specific recipe for the production of beauty- it is something that is unique and could come in a number of forms. However, one man, Dr Solomon Kent, decided that he would find out what the ‘ideal’ form of beauty is. He decided that he could find the ideal representations (one male and one female) in the UK. Now, the idea that this man he believes that he can find an ‘ideal’ is just a tad ridiculous and then of course, he profiles a Caucasian couple as the ideal- based on British people’s perceptions. Now, whilst the UK may not be one of the most ethnically diverse places in the world, nonetheless it does have a growing diverse population. In suggesting that the ‘perfect’ faces of beauty in the UK can only

Images: Dr. Chris Solomon

Whale of the Week Humback Whale (Megaptera Megaptera novaeangliae)

Illustration by Becky Irvine

be Caucasian, not only feeds Eurocentric beauty standards, but in doing so reiterates a ‘standard’ of beauty that pertains to a specific race of people that display a particular set of features. Whilst Dr Kent states that carrying out this study in another continent would bring out different results, this does not change the fact that the results of his study illustrate a specific encompassment of beauty. This poses issues not only for those of other races, but also anyone Caucasian who doesn’t possess a face similar to the ‘ideal’- given that the Doctor’s visual representations have been described as undoubtedly being the faces of the most beautiful people in the UK. Over time, a number of features have remained

Can autonomous cars really be feasible in this day and age? Matthew Byrne investigates

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“Now, the idea that this man he believes that he can find an ‘ideal’ is just a tad ridiculous and then of course, he profiles a Caucasian couple” at the forefront of the mind when considering what is attractive, for example tall men and women with small waists and curves have become universally appealing. However, whilst these features recur within people’s opinions- someone may find a short man or an ‘apple’ shaped woman just as attractiveif not more so. However, Dr Kent decided to focus primarily on faces. He used technology that is normally utilised to produce photos of wanted criminals and thus created 100 faces to use in his study.

He expected people to rate the attractiveness of noses, eyes, lips, hair etc. His experiment concluded that the most beautiful woman has a heart shaped face and thick eyebrows and the most attractive man has a strong jaw line, stubble and dark hair.

On the most part, this has illustrated typical beauty stereotypes. However, attraction and the

Baby you can drive my car

mind are too concepts that are far from simplistic.

There will always be physical features that are of greater appeal than others, but nonetheless, beauty goes far beyond the surface. People are attracted to one another not just for their physical assets. The way someone walks, talks, makes you laugh, cocks their head- anything really, can be something that makes you appreciate someone’s true beauty. There is no gold standard to aspire to, quite simply because beauty is not scalable and there isn’t an ideal to work towards. Whilst attraction experiments can reveal many things about how the mind works, there isn’t really a great discovery to be madeas beauty really does lie in the eye of beholder.

Cheesy, I know.

he future is upon us. What was once only a science fiction dream has been invented. The driverless car is here, but is it here to stay?

A driverless or autonomous car is a car that requires nearly no input from a passenger. There are a number of companies currently developing autonomous cars, most notably Google. Google’s car uses GPS, radar and lasers to map the area it is driving through. It is able to visualise the environment in a 360-degree view. This enables it to manoeuvre around other cars and obstacles. These cars are currently being tested on public roads across the world.

The benefits of a driverless car are clear. Passengers can relax and enjoy the journey whilst the car drives. There would be improved access as passengers of all ages would be able to travel, because the car is the one driving. The computer would calculate the most efficient driving style and so fuel consumption would reduce dramatically. Autonomous cars would be safer; a computer would be more alert than a human and immune to distraction and tiredness. There would be fewer road collisions and the speed limit could be raised because of this. There would also be reduced congestion on main roads, as traffic jams would not occur.

Cars could also in theory drive themselves to out of city car parks, reducing inner city congestion.

“What would happen if a pedestrian stepped in front of the car or if the car could not avoid a crash?”

However there are a number of hurdles to the development of autonomous cars. Cars would have to be programmed for complex traffic rules, poor weather and road hazards. These are issues that will be fixed over time. Other issues have solutions that are harder to program. Jeremy Clarkson proposed an interesting ethical dilemma on the television show Top Gear. What would happen if a pedestrian stepped in front of the car or if the car could not avoid a crash? Would the car evaluate the chance of both parties’ survival, and who would be held accountable for any accident that occurred? This has become the most controversial topic of autonomous cars. The blame should in theory be shifted from driver to vehicle manufacturer, as it was their technology that caused the crash, this would drastically change the role of car manufacturers, to have more of an insurance role.

It is not all doom and gloom, the predictions are that autonomous cars will start appearing over the next 5-6 years, and if autonomous cars become widespread they could save nearly a trillion dollars in the USA alone in fuel and reduced crashes. The idea is a brilliant one, however the current practicalities mean that the future is a little further away than first imagined.

Image: Saad Faroque

The Courier

puzzles.39

Monday 27 April 2015

Puzzles 1

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Puzzles Editor: Kate Bennett

Courier Catch-­ phrase

See if you can guess (catch) the common idiom (phrase) shown in these picture combos?

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“I’m Roy Walker and I heartily endorse this event and/or product”

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For even more news, views, sports and culture, make sure you head over to thecourieronline. co.uk

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1 The one from Genesis who isn’t Phil Collins (5, 7) 2 Modern art gallery located on London’s Southbank (4, 6) 3 Tug (4) 4 People seized as security (8) 5 Adult male swan (3) 6 The part of a saddle you put your feet in (8) 7 Sorcery (8) 12 Raised water channel (5) 13 Decorative design cut into wood or metal (8) 17 Nocturnal bird of prey (3) 20 Ensemble of singers (5) 21 List of food and drink for sale in a cafe or restaurant (4) 23 To weave yarn using needles 4) 25 Dad (2)

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Hint: Don’t keep it all hidden away

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40.sportfeatures

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Underhand or above board: what place does gamesmanship have in professional sport?

Cheating isn’t just an unavoidable part of sport -­ if harnessed properly, it could be a new dawn for us all

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Sam Vokes resists a challenge from Swansea’s Neil Taylor Photography by Getty Images

It’s disgusting and everyone who engages in it ought to be either ashamed of themselves or bloody well hanged

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ast week, his holiness Lord Sean Dyche, managerial overlord of Burnley Football Club, came out in defence of his team who have sometimes been criticised for “not going down” - more importantly - sticking to the rules.

Back in February, Burnley striker Sam Vokes drew attention to himself for not going to ground under a challenge in the penalty area in a Premier League game against Swansea City, which some pundits say cost his team a point, and since that point, Clarets players have still refused to bend the rules in order to score goals.

The Burnley boss claims a “prominent manager” told him to “move with the times”, though this surely goes against everything young sportsmen and women are taught. Youngsters these days are trained by coaches to respect opponents, respect their coaches and most of all respect the rules, yet how can we uphold these traditional sporting values if the best of the best are breaking them.

Rightfully, England legend Gary Lineker came out in defence of Burnley’s striker in the particular incident we’re focusing on, suggesting he should be “applauded for staying on his feet”, and that the referee should have given

the penalty for the intent to foul anyway, despite the lack of simulation. This then, is something that should surely be looked at not just in football, but in other sports too. Referees and other sporting officials must be given the technical support needed to identify foul play - without players having to make it obvious they should be given a decision.

This, along with making sports fairer, would help maintain sportsmanship and core values that make British (and international) sport special.

Underhand tactics not only affect the values by which we play sports, but also the physical playing of the sport itself.

During a game of cricket between Australia and New Zealand, the latter needed six runs from the final ball to draw the game, so Australian bowler Trevor Chappell rolled the ball along the ground to prevent any chance of a Kiwi revival. The New Zealand Prime Minister described it as “an act of cowardice”, which many would agree with.

Some would argue that Australia won the game, and that’s all that matters however what sort of a message was the action to young cricket players, never mind spectators that had paid to watch a game, not “the most disgusting incident I [the Prime Minister] can recall in

the history of cricket”.

I personally, don’t have too much of an issue with mind games. Getting into your opponents head in sport is part and parcel of trying to defeat them, however sometimes sportsmen and women push the boundaries.

In the 1983 US Open Final, Jimmy Connors left Ivan Lendl standing in the blistering heat in the middle of a game of tennis to supposedly answer natures call. Connors went on to win the final, with analysts suggesting being left alone in a competitive game of sport can leave the mind to defocus, seriously affecting the player’s performance.

To many, this is simply a mind game, but for me it is an underhand tactic that affects the game in more than one way.

Again, the spectators were cheated out of a fair game, and young tennis players of the time may have thought this type of event was natural and acceptable.

Overall, while mind games and strategy clearly need to be kept part of the game, the example that professional sportsmen and women give to their young idols must be kept within traditional values, like Sean Dyche said, that make sport the brilliant spectacle that it is.

Alex Hendley

s a Harlequins rugby fan, I know all too well the damage under-hand tactics can do if not executed to perfection.

After the “Bloodgate” scandal, the club was irrevocably tarnished as cheats and a “black market” rugby organization.

Dean Richards was Corleone: the mafia boss and puppet master, who orchestrated this dastardly play and the players seemed all but dedicated to the cause.

For many years, it worked, however after that fateful day in Twickenham, the Heineken Cup Quarter Final, where the cherubic Tom Williams went and put a rather large spanner in the works, we have unfortunately had to retire our much maligned skills and focus on more “PC” methods of winning matches (something to do with skills or fitness or whatever, I’ve long since stopped caring).

The fact remains, however, that whereas many Quins fans shrunk away into a corner every time this incident was mentioned, I openly rejoiced at it. We must remember, sport is not fair; it is a deceptive and mystical activity where no quarter should be given. In Rugby Union, there is a famous saying: Rugby does not have rules, it has laws, and what are laws there for? To be broken.

This of course goes for all sports, not just rugby. In the world of athletics, for example, it seems that every year, another great athlete has been perpetually banned for some kind of substance abuse: Justin Gay, Asafa Powell, Dwain Chambers, the list goes on and on.

Many see this as a detrimental element to the sport, however from my point of view, these recurring incidents of steroid usage have given me an idea for a new and revolutionary sporting event.

I think it would be rather interesting,

Drugs cheats ought to be allowed to see how fast a human can go Photography by Getty Images

for example, that we had two Olympic Games: one for clean athletes and one for those on performance enhancing drugs. Imagine, if you will, the 100 metres final: in the clean Olympics, there is the possibility of a world record being broken at 9 or 9.5 seconds, however in the more maligned games that I seek to propose, who knows what may be possible? We could be talking about a fivesecond hundred metres world record in our lifetime. Is that not something worth fighting for?

Or what about the long jump, perhaps? Men and women being able to jump from city to city, mile after mile, surpassing oceans and mountain ranges on their way. Lets not lie to ourselves here, that is something we all would pay very good money to see (yes, I have considered the economic benefits as well, this is somewhat of a life’s work).

With this in mind, please do suspend the idea of underhand tactics in your head for a few moments and consider its enormous benefits. Yes, we could talk until the cows come home about the supposed ‘moral’ implications to what I am suggesting. People will say its “wrong” and I suppose “a form of violent and drug-fuelled persecution of athletes, culminating in a form of slavery fuelled by addiction”, or something of that nature.

These accusations are founded on namby-pamby, liberal, wish-washy, emotional nonsense, which as we all know, has no place in the world of sport.

So I beseech you, cast away your innocence and join me in my new and exciting venture. It is time for a new era: the time of “legality” is indeed over, the time for awesome, has come. Here endeth the lesson.

Jonty Mawer

The Courier

sportfeatures.41

Monday 27 April 2015

Ride on time: (L-R) Jess Morris, Lucy Irving, Hannah Evans and Beth Lawson Photography by Sophie Barclay

2Q WKH KRRI ULGHUV UHÀ HFW RQ D \HDU RI VXFFHVV LQ WKH VDGGOH Women’s Horse Riding

By Josh Nicholson

A

mongst the giants of rugby, football and hockey lies the little known, little loved, little reported team of horse riders. Newcastle University Riding Club, who train twenty minutes from the city centre came into our office following the recent This Girl Can feature to discuss all things horsey and tell us how the season went. Going into an interview with minimal knowledge is one thing, but this interview was one small step for Josh Nicholson and one giant leap for the Courier.

President Sophie Barclay explains: “Originally we had three teams but cut one. We could only have two training slots a week, and we thought we would rather have both teams training every week and being better and getting intensive training rather than 2 weeks on and 1 week off ”. The club has had a much improved season having beaten Bishop Burton at their home competition which, as 2nd team Captain Jess Morris exhorts, is “always the aim”. For so long the club has been ignored and struggled for consistent performances but the removal of the 3rd team seems only to have brought positivity in terms of results. Barclay suggests that “having just two teams to focus on we’ve done a lot better, we’ve become more of a team, rather than just four individuals”.

Talking to them, it’s easy to see that this group of girls is not only one that enjoys the thrill of horse riding but are a strong meeting of minds and of friendship.

Horse riding as well all know it, in the mainstream media at least, is surrounded with welfare issues and races such as the Grand National seem to take precedent over somewhat more elegant shows like the European Championships. An enthused 2nd team captain tells me how the competitions within BUCS tend to work. “Mornings we have a dressage

competition, you draw your horses out of a hat so the horses are labelled A to D. You could be on anything, I’m 5’11” but usually get put on 14’2” pony, they’re looking at your accuracy and your position, your movements, things like that. After lunch you pick from another bunch of horses and you’ll often do a jumping course, you only get four practice jumps so it’s quite hard to get to know a horse in that time.” One rider then suggests that competitions can become “like speed dating on horses”. Further, it is no wonder they aptly rename dressage, sometimes called ‘dancing on ponies’, as stressage. Where sports such as football and rugby have an element of change each match with who may be in the match day squad, these girls

have to hop onto an animal that they’ve never met before and have “only known for five minutes” as 1st team captain Katherine Lawn puts it. However, this element of not knowing can become an advantage as Barclay then went on to explain.

“You need to be a rider that can understand a lot of different horses and be able to adapt. I’ve had people come to me and be like ‘I’ve competed for Europe and blah blah blah’, you put them on this little riding school pony that isn’t to that level and they can’t adapt to it, they’ve only been on world class horses.

They’ve not been on these regional donkeys with big personalities”.

As well as team success in their competitions and the victory over Bishop

Burton, Newcastle University’s riders can now boast a Great Britain representative, a feat that Athletic Union Officer Caleb Jones calls “unbelievable” and describes himself as “very proud”.

Helen McCall has been selected to go to Romania alongside two other riders.

McAll had “only joined the club this year. I didn’t really know a lot about it last year, but it’s been really good because riding loads of different types of horses just really helps. I’ve had quite a lot of horses throughout my riding career but I’ve always only had them for two year periods”.

When probed about where this venture into the world of international riding may take her, she supposes that she would “love to be a professional

An NURC rider represents the Uni at a competition Photography by Sophie Barclay

rider but it’s not going to happen. I think this is the best it’s going to get”.

McAll’s GB inclusion is a great lift for a team that admit it is difficult to follow them throughout the year, despite their triumphs, as they are liable to long distance travelling around the country.

It’s clear the team have a great spirit that seems to be a force which has not only created positive results in the riding arena but outside in the wider social scene. Barclay continues, ‘we do care about the competitions so we can constantly improve and get better which I think we have done this year but we are a social club and it is important that we include everyone, not just team members’. Something which saw the club to take a recent trip to Ireland for that patron Saints day and some extra riding without the pressure of intensive training. Again, it is obvious to see that Barclay loves this club and their exploration of Ireland clearly left her happy: “We were in the middle of nowhere, so we took advantage of the riding; it was incredible and were so lucky with the weather and we went cross country, which is something that we never do because we don’t have the facilities.” It wasn’t all fun and games though, their bodies took a battering with Lawn telling us that “our legs and bums definitely hurt”.

What is a shame is that as members of the team graduate to pastures new, hoping that the grass is greener (alright, I’ll stop now). The team will lose both captains. However, Lawn claims that with ‘both the captains leaving this year it’s a bit different, I only joined the team this year but I guess while I was at university and wasn’t in the club, I wasn’t riding so it’s brought me back to it, now when I graduate, I will definitely carry on’. Further, Morris suggests that ‘once you’re in it, you’re in it.’ One thing is clear to see: NURC will continue to flourish if this season’s competitions and individual performances are anything to go by.

These girls most definitely can.

42.sportintramural

Monday 27 April 2015

The Courier

Hoop dogs earn gin ‘n’ juice Intramural Netball

ble scrap develop where a hotly contested league finished with heartbreak, upset and as only a 2 point gap separated History Girls in 4th who rolled back the years to end 4th and the Agrics, having a somewhat fallow season in what they will say as a disappointing, 6th.

Tuesday 5PM-6PM League

By Calum Wilson Tuesday 4PM -5PM League The title of netball champions of the union was a strong heavyweight battle between GeogSoc, whose name is as boring as their subject, and Hoop Dogs who had been jumping through proverbial cylindrical objects. These two went toe-to-toe all year for the title and in the end could only be separated by goal difference. An epic battle was spawned first in October with GeogSoc edging to a tense and agonising 12-11 victory in what can only be called an enthralling encounter.

However, Hoop Dogs had the last laugh when the bit back at their rivals and beat them to the title with a 40goal advantage on goal difference. They also avenged the opening day defeat by thrashing GeogSoc 18-3 in December, it is safe to say that the Geographers felt a tectonic shift in fortune from earlier in the season. Elsewhere, exciting matches seem few and far between but a mid ta-

champions, it is a shame that they just could not capitalise whilst the history buffs defence slept. This was certainly the league to watch for goalmouth action, an average of more than 34 points was recorded in each match.

Saturday 10AM-11AM League There was even more success for Time Team in the Saturday league, another top of the table finish and just one defeat all season despite being out of their usual Wednesday afternoon billing. Despite scoring a slightly less impressive 212, Time Team’s fortified defensive displays at the weekends meant that they only conceded 67 goals, to make yet another tenuous history joke, with a defensive as strong as Colditz Castle.

The Medics 2s got their season off to a flyer with 3 comfortable, healthy wins but defeats to Time Team and then archrivals and counterparts Docs Netball meant their championship challenge was left, sadly, on a faltering life support as they ended up 2nd. At the wrong end of the table, it was a difficult and frustrating season for an undera-

Time Team took a break from their weekly More4 and History channel television spots to blow away all in their path as they won every single match recording a hugely impressive 345 goals, averaging over 24 goals a game.

A destructive record even the Romans would be proud of. Their domination and calculations were rounded off with an extortionate and outrageous 55-1 victory over PsychoSoc. Who picked up the wooden spoon and may need to go back to their laboratory to dissect what went wrong and why they were not fully functioning on the day. The intriguingly named ToothFairies2 were the impressive Time Team’s closest challengers and ran them close, going down 16-14 to the eventual

chieving NWR Netball who had to wait until the third week of the competition to even register a goal.

edge a close contest 13-11.

Saturday 12PM-1PM League Despite making life hard for themselves, Lawyers Netball girls finally dropped the gavel and got swift justice for their performances winning their league. An opening week defeat to a craft Chemical Engineers side started the case off in the worst possible way with the prosecution ready to pounce but 12 strong defensive performances saw them race to subsequent victories.

Albeit with a lot of small margins, however these wins meant the judge and jury gave a verdict of not and guilty and it was enough to top the league.

The aforementioned History Girls, SocSoc, our very own Josh Nicholson’s subject, and ManSoc Netball will all feel unlucky not to have got the better of the champions but it is hard to say that The Lawyers did not get what they deserved.

Meanwhile the rest of the division took points off each other in what was a free for all, meaning the title race was only ever in the hands of the calculating Lawyers.

Saturday 11AM-12PM League Spurred on by the painful and ill fateful 2nd place suffered by the Medics 2, it has been total domination for the Medics 1s so far who were in full health, winning all thirteen of their Intra Mural matches. Only runners-up BioSci managed to develop a way to give the medics a real test of strength and reflex when they went down, in an oh so close 13-14 defeat recently.

With the exception of a single convincing defeat to the Medics, it was a good season for BioSci, concocting comfortable wins against SELL Netball and, the brilliantly named, Hoops I Did It Again 2s, who couldn’t summon anything Toxic to bring BioSci back to earth. The other stand out match in the league took place between 6th place Marketing Soc, yet another boring name, and 4th place MLS Senoritas and saw the marketing girls clean cut strategy, which they clearly learnt in lectures,

League Tables

League Details

Intramural Netball Tuesday Tuesday 4PM 4PM -- 5PM 5PM League League Team

Pld W

1

Hoop Dogs

2

Tuesday Tuesday 5PM 5PM -- 6PM 6PM League League

D

L

Pts

Team

Pld W

12

12 0

2

48

1

Time Team

GeogSoc

14

12 0

2

48

2

3

Accounting Society

14

9

0

5

36

4

History Girls

14

6

0

8

5

Pollies Dollies

14

6

0

6

Agrics Netball

14

5

7 8

NUAS Netball

14

Marketing Soc

14

Saturday Saturday 10AM 10AM -- 11AM 11AM League League D

L

Pts Pts

Team

Pld W

14

14 0

0

56 56

1

Boca Team Time Seniors

Tooth Fairies 2

14

11 0

3

44 44

2

3

Denominatrixes Docs Netball

14

910 0

54

36 40

24

4

Denominatrixes S.S. Ladzio

614

39

0

35

8

24

5

BioSoc Henderson Hall

614

15

20

1

8

22

6

ManSoc Medics 1sts Newcastle

514

03

4

0

10

1

7

1

1

12

6

8

CHS Netball Ecosoccer

514

PsychoSoc

14

Saturday Saturday 11AM 11AM -- 12PM 12PM League League

D

L

Pts Pts

Team

Pld W

6 14

6 13 0

0 1

18 52

1

Boca Seniors Medics 1

Dyslexic2Untied Medics

5 13

4 10 0

1 3

12 40

2

3

Newcastle Docs Netball Medics 2nds

5 13

3 8

0

2 5

9 32

936

4

S.S. Ladzio GeogSoc

6 13

3 7

0

3 6

39

520

5

Henderson Hall AccSoc

6 13

1 7

2 0

10

411

11

6

Newcastle Agrics Netball Medics 1sts

5 14

0 4

02

10

412

18

7

2

0

12

8

8

BioSci Ecosoccer 2

14 5

NWR Netball

14

Saturday Saturday 12PM 12PM -- 1PM 1PM League League

D

L

Pts Pts

Team

Pld W

D

L

Pts Pts

6 13

6 13 0

0

18 52

1

Boca Seniors Lawyers Netball

6 13

6 12 0

0 1

18 48

Dyslexic Untied BioSci

5 14

4 12 0

1 2

12 48

2

Dyslexic Untied SocSoc

5 14

4 9

0 1

1 4

12 38

3

Newcastle Hoops I DidMedics it Again2nds

5 13

3 8

0

2 5

932

3

NewcastleNetball ChemEng Medics 2nds

5 14

3 9

0

2 5

36 9

9 28

4

MLS Senoritas S.S. Ladzio

14 6

8 3

0

6 3

932

4

S.S. Hoops Ladzio I Did it Again

6 14

3 8

0

3 6

32 9

3 6

5 28

5

Tooth Fairies Henderson Hall

14 6

7 1

0 2

7 3

528

5

Henderson ManSoc Hall

6 13

1 5

2 0

3 8

20 5

1 0

10 4

1 16

6

Marketing Newcastle Society Medics 1sts

14 5

3 0

0 1

11 4

112

6

Newcastle CHS NetballMedics 2 1sts

5 14

0 4

1

4 9

18 1

4 0

0 1

10 4

1 16

7

SELL Netball Ecosoccer

14 5

3 0

0 1

11 4

112

7

Ecosoccer BioSoc

5 14

0 4

1 0

10 4

1 16

1

0

13

4

8

Denominatrixes 2

14

1

0

13

4

8

History Girls

14

3

0

11

12

/DKPV VODXJKWHU ¿ YH D VLGH ULYDOV Intramural 5-a-side Football

By Josh Nicholson The termly intra mural 5 a side tournament came to a close a couple of weeks ago with the somewhat inevitable result of Boca Seniors coming out on top.

Here is the story of how the playoffs panned out.

The first round saw a mixed bag of results seeing Sex, Drugs & Carlton Cole focusing far too much on none footballing activities allowing the oddly named TV but no Remote FC roll them like a cigarette paper 8-0. At the other end of the spectrum, fortunately, there were two games that went to penalties and two games that were won by a single goal so competition was fierce. High-

light of the round goes to Ebola Free Since 93 versus the most boring name in the competition, ManSoc, where having gone 1-0 ManSoc fought back to take a 5-1 lead. This is where the controversy only an intra mural 5 a side game can cause happened. Ebola brought it back to 5-4 and with seconds remaining were denied a clear penalty when the opposition keeper left his box and the tall languid Mansoc defender touched the ball in the box. The head of referees is still investigating accusations of match fixing.

Moving forward into the quarter finals, Boca Seniors, having only scraped through on penalties, hit their stride to demolish a helpless Fiorentina Turner 10-4. Results were seemingly more dis-

tinct in this round, perhaps the celebrations from those who progressed were too premature. Some would say that justice was served as former winners ManSoc were helpless going down to perhaps surprise underdogs Floor 5 United 7-3. Other big winners including TV but No Remote FC beating Frosty FC with a cold hearted ice cool 6-2 victory.

The final game in this round saw The Silence of the Lahms face no horror story in a 7-5 win over the Oxbow Lakers who will hope to come back and make more waves next time round.

Semi finals are sometimes tricky affairs with players and fans alike nervous about the teams prospects of reaching the final draw ever nearer. No such nerves were shown by Boca Seniors

steamrolling TV but No Remote to reach their 3rd final in as many tournaments. Seemingly the search the batteries within Remotes use of the channels had run out, a 10-4 loss will haunt them for years much like losing the final chase. The other semi final was a much tenser affair seeing a clash of the titans between The Silence of the Lahms and Floor 5 United, who seemingly were ascending a stairway to the final with previous performances in the tournament.

With the teams tied after 25 minutes of furious football ending in a 5-5 draw leading to penalties. Heroics were in order and from what we can see Floor 5 sent the Lahms back to the abattoir with their tails between their legs, leading the surprise package to reach a touch look-

ing final against the now rolling Boca Seniors. Could they do it?

Unfortunately not. The Seniors became fully grown adults and graduated to 5 a side glory with a bullying 11-4 result in their favour. Not only can Boca boast 3 finals in a row, scoring 10 or more goals in most of their matches and a lovely yellow kit, they only lost on penalties in the game they did lose. A fairly impressive record then which shows the task that faced Floor 5 United coming into the final. Everyone loves an underdog but this game was a level too far for the gallant fifth floor dwellers. Boca roll onto the end of the 11 a side season fighting for their division 1 status, they will hope they can transfer their indoor prowess to outdoor success.

League Tables

League Details Start Date - 29 January 2015 End Date - 12 June 2015

Intramural 5-­‐a-­‐side Football Thursday 4PM - 5PM League

Thursday 5PM - 6PM League

Team

Pld W

D

L

Pts

1

Floor 5 United

7

6

0

1

18

2

Maradona FC

7

6

0

1

3

Loose Opus

7

4

1

4

TMNS

7

4

0

5

Fenerbaché

7

3

6

The Babylonian Brotherhood 7

7

No Win No Fee FC

8

RoddyJaegar Bombs

Friday 4PM - 5PM League

Team

Pld W

D

L

Pts

1

ManSoc

7

6

0

1

18

18

2

Oxbow Lakers

7

5

1

1

2

13

3

Ludo United

7

5

0

3

12

4

Team Jeffers

7

3

1

0

4

9

5

Borussia Teeth

7

3

3

0

4

9

6

Vincent Van Goal

7

7

1

1

5

4

7

SocSoc Sons of Pitches

7

0

0

7

0

8

CS United

Friday 5PM - 6PM League

Team

Pld W

D

L

Pts

1

Frosty FC

7

6

0

0

18

16

2

TV But No Remote FC

7

6

0

1

2

15

3

Sex Drugs & Carlton Cole

7

6

0

3

10

4

Gianluigi BOOBfon

7

3

0

1

3

10

5

N.Clyne Appreciation Society

7

3

2

1

4

7

6

Kung fu pandas

7

7

1

0

6

3

7

Botswana Meat Comission

7

0

2

5

2

8

FC Crystal Crew

Friday 6PM - 7PM League

Team

Pld W

D

L

Pts

Team

Pld W

D

L

1

Silence of the Lahms

7

7

0

0

21

1

Boca Seniors

7

7

0

0

Pts 21

18

2

De Gea Bar

7

6

0

1

18

2

Fiorentina Turner

7

5

1

1

12

1

18

3

Ebola free since ‘93

7

5

0

2

15

3

209 OZ

7

4

0

3

12

4

9

4

Dench Club de Fútbol

7

4

0

3

12

4

5ive

7

3

1

3

10

0

4

9

5

Oxbow Lakers

7

3

0

4

5

5

Michu at De Gea Bar

7

1

4

3

7

2

0

5

6

6

Obi One Kanobi Nil

7

1

0

6

3

6

Stuffed Crust Pizza

7

1

2

4

5

7

1

1

4

3

7

Puyol Pantsdown

7

1

0

6

3

7

TMNS

7

1

1

4

4

7

1

0

6

3

8

XIONGMAO

7

1

0

6

3

8

EngSoc

7

1

1

5

4

The Courier

Monday 27 April 2015

sportbucs.43

O brother, where kart thou?

Karting

By Rob Langthorp The British University Karting Championship (BUKC) 2015 closed with the final rounds of this year’s championship at Whilton Mill on the 28th March.

Newcastle’s A and B teams were both aiming to end the season on a high.

In the end, the drivers received great returns for their efforts with a podium finish for the A team, and individual success for James DeHavillande.

The season began for both teams exceptionally well for Newcastle as both A and B teams qualified on merit for the main championship back in November.

The season-proper started at Rye House in early February with Dan Chalk’s famous launch into the mud; spreading water and dirt all over the track, culminating in over 15 cars crashing out. Next up was a promising round at Buckmore Park, with James DeHavillande, Jake Cook, and Jordan Dixon putting in strong performances in changeable conditions.

James DeHavillande again led the A team well in Llandow, South Wales. The B team also improved their form shown

by Reece Matthews and Toby Hughes.

Results up to this point guaranteed the A team a much improved championship finish from 2014, and the B team were picking up valuable experience for future racing.

By 10am on the final day of the season at Whilton Mill, engines were revving up ready to roar with 34 karts taking to the track for the opening race of the day.

Charles Theseira and graduate racer Freddie Caldwell began the two teams racing, with a close battle both from low starting positions. It was then over to James DeHavillande to take centre stage with a brilliant drive from 24th on the grid to finish 2nd. DeHavillande’s drive was not without it’s scary moments, as last lap contact from Coventry A could have ended his race.

In the same race, Ben Morgan’s race was unfortunately ruined by a crash on the first lap.

After a downpour of rain, Newcastle’s teams were back on track with further strong performances from Alex Jobson (18th) and Amir Taufik (24th). The final sprint race of BUKC 2015 ended with Rob Langthorp and Matthew Bell for Newcastle’s A and B teams respectively.

Newcastle A finished the sprint round 7th and Newcastle B 26th in the intermediate class.

The afternoon’s endurance racing would end the BUKC 2015 season. Endurance races last 1 hour, with 2 driver changes enforced. Newcastle B managed their best round of the season with a 20th place intermediate class finish to conclude their season on a high. However, it was the A team who really excelled in this round.

In race two, Charles Theseira and Rob Langthorp both put in season’s best performances, showing front running speed, on the way to a 12th place finish; while James DeHavillande and Alex Jobson flew to an 8th position in their race. After this, he A team awaited the round standings with anticipation. As the results were read out they soon realised a first podium position had been secured, to the team’s delight. Newcastle A ended 32nd overall (45th last year) and Newcastle B in 50th.

The season’s proceedings were concluded with the BUKC drivers’ championship the next day, with James DeHavillande claiming 3rd in the lightweight class to round off an excellent debut season. Team Newcastle were also given recognition of their own, with a nomination for BUKC team of year, after doubling the Motorsport Society’s member numbers and collaboration racing with Durham University.

A season of much success and enjoyment is now over, but the excitement for BUKC 2016 is already gaining pace.

The karters celebrate their success (above) and battle it out on track Photography by Rob Langthorp

Snapshot: women’s basketball promoted

The Knights huddle after their big win against St. Andrews Photography by Huezin Lim

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 27 April 2015 Issue 1310 Free

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

UNDERHAND TACTICS P.40

Sports Editors: Peter Georgiev, Jonty Mawer & Huezin Lim Online Sports Editor: Josh Nicholson courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport

5-A-SIDE ROUNDUP P.42

KARTING HEROES P.43

Saddle soar: riders look back on year of ups and downs p. 41

Knights set seal on promotion Women’s Basketball Newcastle University 1st

62

St Andrews University 1st 46

By Huezin Lim at the Sports Centre On the sunny and beautiful BUCS Big Wednesday, the female Knights faced off in what was to be another important match of the season. Having already been crowned Trophy champions for the academic year, the girls were riding an incredible high and the momentum was undoubtedly on their side. The starting line up for the match included Johns, Anne Heiaas, Abbie Wheeler, Quintas and Kelly Robinson who would be representing the female Knights one last time. Undoubtedly, the Knights wanted to play to the best of their abilities to give her a worthwhile send-off and positive memories in her last game in the Sports Centre.

St Andrews started out by picking up the tip off and the pace of the game was frantic and furious right from the start.

The girls from either side was poised to wrest the momentum from one another and it was clear for the 20-strong audience that this was a match that was to be

fiercely contested from the start. An uncertain possession from the St Andrews Saints led to a sloppy shot clock violation. However, aggressive play from the ladies in white ensured an offensive rebound, which was to be quickly stolen by Newcastle, a recurring theme throughout the game as the Newcastle ladies constantly picked their pockets.

Despite their strong efforts, both offenses were trying to sort themselves out and some aggressive play by Kelly

slowly being found but St Andrews were still struggling to find opportunities closer to the basket. The lay ups were going in for Newcastle and as the first time out was called by the Knights, the team led 8 to 2.

Anne was finding the range and two sloppy passes and a travelling violation from St Andrews gave the Newcastle ladies quite a handful of Turnovers. It was time for the Knights to open up the lead but thankfully, the St Andrews ladies

on the pressure. The first quarter ended 17 to 11 to Newcastle with St Andrews settling a few nerves with a smooth 3 pointer on their final posession.

At the start of the second, Newcastle were able to find the penetration time and time again but they were a little unlucky at being unable to find the basket on three separate occasions, the ball rolling out ever so slowly. Newcastle once again called the first time out of the quarter, seeking to work out

could not yield the first basket, as the ball rattled the rim. Coach decided to run a play through captain Anne and it forced the Saints to a shooting foul and Newcastle’s first points in the game.

From the start, St Andrews were struggling with the quick passing of the Newcastle ladies, giving the ladies opportunities in the paint, time and time again. However, a lack of luck meant that the girls did not have the lead they could have had if the baskets were made. Quintas got a really tough running basket to fall for Newcastle and a fast break gave the Knights a couple more points. The offensive rhythm was

soon sort themselves out and managed to play with a bit more poise and composure.

Point guard, Kelly was able to slice and dice through the defence easily with her passes over the screen and on the break. St Andrews were limited to shooting from range and unfortunately it was not working for them at this point with the Newcastle defence stifling and closing out all the cutting lanes.

The key to this game thus far for Newcastle was undoubtedly their incredibly stingy defence. Poking the ball and contesting every possession, Newcastle was doing a great job in putting

their offensive issues. Another important interception from Kelly Robinson gave the Knights the first basket of the quarter with a sweet assist from the girl herself. She carried on the momentum with a wide open 3 bringing the lead up to 22-11. With this being the final game, no one was at all surprised at her dominating performance in her final game with us.

The Knights seemed somewhat fatigued as they were giving away rebound after rebound on the defensive end, twice on a single possession, midway through the first quarter. As the lead shrank down to 7 points, 22 to 15,

“Next year, the Newcastle ladies will be competing in the Premier division against the likes of their cross-city rivals Northumbria, sporting giants Loughborough and winners of the division Durham”

the audience grew a little restless as the earlier domination did not seem quite so certain.

As St Andrews scored another basket, shrinking the Newcastle lead even further, who else but Kelly took it upon herself to drive hard and she scored the basket plus free throw opportunity.

Anne was not to be so easily outshone

by Kelly and a steal gave her another And-1 opportunity on her solo fast break and she took the opportunity fully, wracking up three points.

An injury to a Newcastle player was not what the team needed but with the last minute and a half and only an 8 point lead, the team needed to sort themselves out emotionally and finish the half strong. A strong drive gave the Knights another And-1 opportunity, which unfortunately was not capitalised on, but the first half concluded with a buzzer beater and the score 34 to 20.

As the players continued their undoubtedly stellar play throughout the contest, Newcastle would extend their lead and ultimately prevail with 62 to 46. Next year, the Geord ladies will be competing in the Premier division against the likes of their cross-city rivals Northumbria, sporting giants Loughborough and winners of the division Durham.

Photography on page 43