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thecourieronline.co.uk · Issue 1242 Monday December 12 2011

The Independent Voice Of Newcastle Students

Est 1948

Uni loses battle over animal testing

• 250,000 spent on legal fees Kat Bannon Editor

Following a lengthy legal battle costing £250,000 Newcastle University has been ordered to release governing licenses on their experiments on primates. The British Union of the Abolition of Vivisection (BUAV) �irst placed a Freedom of Information request (FOI) in June 2008, asking for details of the licenses held by researchers who conduct vivisection work on macaques. This was rejected by the University on the grounds that it would endanger staff and prejudice research interests. The University then embarked on a legal battle lasting over three years with the aim of protecting the information, which they claim for regulatory reasons is required to be kept con�idential. However, the University has now released the details to BUAV “solely as a result of a Tribunal order obliging it to so” after it noted the “strong public interest in animal welfare and in transparency and accountability” in relation to the animal experiments. “It is simply not true that the University is required to keep the licences con�idential.” said BUAV The Information Tribunal and Upper Tribunal

decided that the University was free to do whatever it liked, including FOI disclosure, with the information in the licences. The University has now abandoned its appeal to the Court of Appeal on this point, so clearly recognise it is without merit. There never was the slightest prospect that the Home Of�ice would prosecute the University for complying with a Tribunal order for disclosure premised on the fact that no criminal offence could be committed by the University by complying with a FOI request.” The papers BUAV requested contain details of two licenses granted by the Government to University researchers for projects, which required some work with primates. The work was aimed at increasing understanding of brain function and to potentially �ind treatment for ADHD and other attention and learning disorders. The research has lead to over 20 papers being published, supporting efforts that could lead to new and better treatments in the future. Originally reported in The Courier in November 2010, BUAV logged a FOI after the publication of articles by three researchers documenting ‘highly invasive’ brain experiments on macaques. These experiments involved implanting electrodes into the animals’ Continued on page 4

The University’s treatment of macaque monkeys for medical research, similar to the one pictured above, has been questioned by BUAV

News

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

News Editors: Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor: Helen Lam courier.news@ncl.ac.uk

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£2,000 and freebies as 5 unis compete for talent

Contents News

Drink up 400%

New statistics show rise in hospital admissions for alcoholic-liver illnesses

Maximising peace

Universities across the UK are seemingly engaging in a ‘war of incentives’ to attract high performing students Photography: freefotouk (Flickr)

Imprisoned Swaziland student leader nominated for student peace prize

Comment

Tartan panda

Scotland waits with bated breath as new additions hoped to breed

Exec payback

News Editors go head-tohead on whether the Govt should intervene on pay

Sport

All in a year

Krazy karting

A month by month round-up of 2011’s sporting highs and lows

Racers zoom through the Northern Quali�ier and into the Championship

Rachael Day Universities across the UK are offering incentives worth thousands of pounds every year in an “arms race” to attract high quality students, following the recent government decision to scrap the AAB policy on university admissions. Previously, universities could only admit a certain proportion of students achieving A-Level grades of AAB or better. Now, with universities free to recruit as many high-achievers as they want, less prestigious institutions fear that good quality applicants

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

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will increasingly be poached by the higher ranking universities. As a result of this, at least 60 universities have now introduced incentive schemes disguised as ‘scholarships’ in order to attract the more gifted candidates to apply, a study by the Sunday Times has found. And it’s not just the lowest ranking universities which must now incentivise students to apply. Bahram Bekhradnia, director of the Higher Education Policy Institute (HEPI), suggested that all universities outside of the top ten will have to take action to ensure they don’t miss out on the top students. “Based on experience in America, what I expect to see in due

course is an arms race where universities have to offer these inducements because others are doing so.” Since the incentives offered are nonmeans tested, they will be awarded based on grades alone, regardless of the individual’s level of household income. It may be argued that such large incentives should be reserved solely for the highest achievers from the least advantaged backgrounds. Yet with tuition fees set to rise dramatically from September 2012, statistics released by UCAS are already revealing a drop in university applications thus far. Universities therefore now need new ways to encourage students to apply in spite of the potential

Editor Kat Bannon Deputy Editor Elliot Bentley News Editors Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor Helen Lam Politics Correspondent Bethany Staunton Comment Editors Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor Jack Torrance C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson Lifestyle Editors Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Lifestyle Editor Emma Balter Fashion Editor Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor Rosanna Sopp Arts Editors Sally Priddle Online Arts Editor Lisa Bernhardt Film Editor Chris Binding Online Film Editor Hayley Hamilton Music Editors Ben Travis, Chris Scott Online Music Editor Graham Matthews Science Editor Mark Atwill Online Science Editor Shaun Butcher TV Editors Sophia Fairhead and Nicole Stevenson Sports Editors Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Baron Online Sports Editors Grace Harvey and Charlie Scott Design Editors Gabe Mason and Tom O’Boyle Copy Editors Sarah Collings, Rachael Day, Dave Dodds, Grace Marconi, Rebecca Markham, Charley Monteith, Adam Rummens, Alice Sewell, Marleen van Os, Emily Wheeler

£9,000 per year tuition fee cost. The University of Birmingham is one of the universities with such a scholarship scheme in place, offering £5,000 a year for academicallygifted applicants who take up places on its maths, chemistry or computing courses. Similarly, Newcastle University offers £2,000 a year plus a free laptop to high-achieving applicants who enrol on its electrical or electronic engineering degrees. And the University of Surrey is offering applicants with A-Level grades of two As and an A* £3,000 a year plus a free sports centre membership.

The Courier is printed by: Harmsworth Printing Limited, Northcliffe House, Meadow Road, Derby, DE1 2DW. Tel: 01332 253013. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge. The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

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The Sage of Sting’s heart Ralph Blackburn Tyneside born musical icon Sting has been named as patron of the Sage Gateshead Arches project. The project is aiming to renovate the space in The Arches, behind The Sage, in order to create a centre to aid disadvantaged and out of work young men and women. Currently based in temporary buildings, The Sage’s Foundation Learning Programme has run out of space. With youth unemployment having hit 1 million in the last few weeks there is a recognisable need to provide young people with social and employability skills. It also focuses on creative skills, one reason why Sting was so enthusiastic to become a patron: “Having grown up on Tyneside, I’m pleased to support this appeal for the The Arches project and The Sage Gateshead’s ongoing commitment to creating opportunities for today’s young musicians and music lovers in the North East.” Sage General Director Anthony Sargent cited the importance of working with people, “whom for a variety of reasons currently feel cut off from much of society.” The Arches project would indeed add another dimension to South Shore Road, home of The Sage and The Baltic, which won Britain’s hippest street in 2011.

Tyneside native Sting will be the face of the Sage Gateshead Arches project which will renovate the space behind the iconic building Photography: Sam Tyson

Trekking the Great Wall of China for charity Elliot Bentley Deputy Editor

While some people may run marathons or attempt to grow moustaches in the name of charity, second year Ancient History student Sophie Hunter is doing something a little bit unusual: she’s decided to trek along a portion of the Great Wall of China. “I’ve done the Race For Life and stuff, and raised a bit of money,” Hunter told The Courier. “But I wanted to do something that raised quite a substantial amount. And I’ve always wanted to go to China. So I thought it was quite a good way of doing it.” So, next April, in aid of Breast Cancer Research, Hunter is spending eight days walking the Great Wall of China, starting in Badaling and finishing in Mutianyu. “The route is - well, you’re advised not to go on it if you have vertigo. Which I do,” she said. “There’s sheer drops, and the wall is crumbling in places. And since the Wall is built on hills, you’re going up and down all day. It’s not just a nice trek.” Since the Wall is over 6,000 kilometres long, Hunter’s chosen route only includes a small length. Would she be interested in walking it in its entirety? “I’d be gone for about three years probably!” However, this isn’t merely a cheap excuse to visit China. For a start, Hunter is paying out of her own pocket for the trip, at a cost of “just under £1,000”. The choice of charity, too, is very deliberate. Two years ago, the mother of a close friend was lost to breast cancer.

The section of the Great Wall near Mutianyu where Sophie will be walking to raise money for Breast Cancer research Photography: Wikimedia Commons

“We lived on the same road, so I knew his mum for years,” said Hunter. “She had [breast cancer] for about six years and defeated it once.” In celebration, Hunter ran the Cancer Research UK Race for Life. “And then it came back - and you

think it’s going to be fine, don’t you? And then it got worse, and then one day my Mum just came down and told me she’d passed away.” Hunter’s trip to China, then, is not just an adventurous holiday, but a tribute to a loved one and an oppor-

tunity to raise money for charity in their name. It may be four months away, but Hunter has already begun training. “I wait until it goes dark,” she laughs. “Then me and my flatmates come out and run round the park where no

one can see us!”

You can support Sophie by donating at http://www.justgiving.com/SophieElizabethHunter92

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

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“This has never been about wishing to ‘hide’ information” [...] we have been open” Continued from front page brains to record activity while they were repeatedly forced to undergo various tasks. A letter leaked to The Courier last year graphically detailed why authorities in Berlin refused to grant an unknown Newcastle University professor permission to carry out similar work in Germany in 2007. These experiments were deemed unethical because they caused “considerable suffering” to the macaques, who share “fundamental basic cognitive functions with humans”. This suffering was deemed unethical as it included repeated body and head restraints and a severe regime of water deprivation to motivate the monkeys to perform tasks. However, BUAV also claims that there is a lack of practical bene�it from the experiments, and that the scienti�ic research papers do not identify any bene�it for human health from the research. BUAV believes that the primates can be replaced by human volunteer stud-

ies using non-invasive imaging machines, such as Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging Machines. Professor Chris Day, Pro-Vice-Chancellor of Faculty of Medical Sciences at Newcastle University explained the decision: “This has never been about wishing to ‘hide’ information, indeed we have been very open about our very limited research using primates and the results of that research. Our primary concern throughout this process has been a duty of care to our staff and adherence to the Home Of�ice regulations, which made it potentially unlawful to release these licences. “On the one hand we were asked to comply with the ruling of a Tribunal, which stated information had to be released, on the other there was the threat of prosecution from the Home Of�ice if we did release that information. We have a duty to protect the welfare of our staff in this matter. However, the Home Of�ice has con�irmed this morning that it would not be in the public interest to prosecute the University provided that

disclosure is con�ined to compliance with the strict terms of the Information Tribunal order. The University is grateful for that reassurance and this vindicates its decision not to release any information at an earlier stage. “The University has been caught in

The primates can be replaced by human volunteer studies using non-invasive imaging machines such as Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging Machines

the middle and pursuing this through the proper channels has cost over

£250,000 in legal fees. We have now released to BUAV an edited version of the project licence, complying with the �inding by the Freedom of Information Tribunal. Some information has been redacted to protect the health and safety of employees and to protect intellectual property. We have a duty to protect the welfare of all our employees and that is why we have taken these steps in relation to this case. “The work being carried out in Newcastle is fundamental research into the human brain which will increase our understanding and may lead to further treatments for diseases and conditions in the future. “Like all animal research conducted in the UK, the work at Newcastle is strictly regulated. It is only allowed when there is no alternative, the animals must be properly cared for and each study must be fully justi�ied. It would be illegal to use animals if there was no potential bene�it. In this case the project involved �inding out what brain chemicals are involved in cognitive functions such as attention,

learning and memory. The brain areas involved are only found in humans and primates and it is impossible to investigate brain chemicals in humans using non-invasive techniques such as FMRI. As part of the experiments the primates were rewarded with a juice drink for carrying out tasks.” Michelle Thew, BUAV Chief Executive, said: “We are delighted with this ruling. Once again, the courts have dismissed Newcastle’s attempts to hide the truth about its animal experiments. For well over three years, Newcastle University has tried every which way to avoid providing us with information. These are highly controversial and invasive experiments carried out on monkeys at a public institution. The public has a right to know what is happening to these poor animals and why”. BUAV are now in possession of the information and will be issuing a statement once the documents have been analysed.

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“Wherever the line in the sand is drawn someone will be unhappy”

Elliot Bentley Deputy Editor Commentary BUAV may claim that non-invasive methods could replace the use of animals - but who are they to judge? It doesn’t seem at all fair to assume that the researchers are using these current methods because they might be cheaper or more convenient. I can only imagine that animals are used in such a way because there is no alternative. Scientists are humans too, and like most people will feel a certain degree of empathy towards animals - and, I would hope, constantly looking for ways to avoid testing on them. Even if one rogue researcher lacks any concern for the welfare of test subjects, their peers are still likely to raise an objection to unnec-

essarily cruel treatment. Of course, the problem here is that the de�inition of “unnecessarily cruel” is a subjective one. To some - including BUAV - no animal testing will ever be justi�iable, no matter how many human lives may be saved as an indirect consequence. Regardless, it’s dif�icult to dispute the idea that the University has something to hide if it’s willing to pay hundreds of thousands of pounds in legal fees to protect this information. We’ll �ind out soon enough. This is merely the latest development in a philosophical debate that is unlikely ever to end. Wherever the line in the sand is drawn, someone will be unhappy - whether that’s frustrated researchers or outraged animal right groups.

“Standards need to be drawn between what can be avoided and what is unavoidable” Kat Bannon Editor Commentary

To eradicate animal testing altogether is at it’s worst impossible and at best unrealistic. However, it isn’t about polarising attitudes into yes and no, right and wrong. We need to stop blanketing out animal testing as acceptable under the banner ‘medical research’. It’s this ignorance and attitude of ‘well, I suppose that’s alright then’. Rather, Scientists need to be more proactively held to account for the work they do. Causing distress to an animal, whether for a short or prolonged period of time, can, and is, to a certain extent justi�iable if it is of a high

bene�icial nature to human life. However, that justi�ication needs to be more clearly de�ined. Standards need to be drawn between what can be avoided and what is unavoidable. Advancing medical research is obviously paramount for society, but other options need to be considered. If BUAV’s claims are correct, and the University is choosing to use animals to use animals not only when other options are available, but when these experiments are of not to the advantage of humans the spotlight will be thrown on similar research taking place across the country. That £250,000 probably would have been handy to develop alternative methods to depriving monkeys of water.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

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Shocking spike in hospital admissions for alcohol-related accidents and illnesses

The health campaign group ‘Balance’ views the UK’s attitude to alcohol as irresponsible and wants to further regulate its advertising Photography: afagen (Flickr)

David Hiscocks It was recently announced by the health campaign group ‘Balance’ that there has been a 400% increase in alcoholic-liver disease admissions to hospital from 2002 to 2010 in the 3034 age group in the North East. In 2002, there were 37 admissions, compared to 189 last year. Liver disease specialists are calling it ‘an epidemic’. It is worth considering that, in addition to these statistics, there are an increasing number of alcohol related injuries and deaths which occur in household fires and car accidents. In 2008, there were 9031 alcohol related deaths according to the Office of National Statistics, up from 8724 in 2007. The statistics also reveal that there are an increasing number of younger people under the age of 30 with alcoholic-related liver disease. Newcastle University and Newcastle Hospitals liver specialist Dr Chris Record said: “Only a few years ago alcoholic liver disease was very unusual in this age group and, unless our drinking habits change, the problem is only set to worsen”. However, the Office of National Statistics also released figures in 2010

revealing that the amount of alcohol the UK consumes has slightly fallen, a trend that began in 2002. Although there has been a 4% rise in people buying alcohol from supermarkets, there has been a 10% decline in people who buy from off licenses; which is part of the continuing trend for middle class professionals to drink more than those on a lower income. Although, according to the BBC at

Alcoholism and alcohol-related diseases are long-term problems, which require long term planning to resolve.

9021

Rachael Moon Commentary

least, this is a positive sign, it will be many years before any decline in alcohol consumption is seen in the health statistics as a result of this change.

‘Balance’ is trying to usher in a new attitude to alcohol, with a campaign to ban alcohol advertising in sports, cultural events and at cinemas for films that are not rated 18. This is part of the attempt to educate the next generation, who are already at risk. ‘Balance’ director Colin Shevills said: “Our region is drinking too much from an early age driven by alcohol which is too affordable, too available and too heavily promoted”. The North East currently has the highest rate of alcohol drinking 11-15 year olds, and the highest number of under 18 alcohol-related admissions to hospital. If the “epidemic”, as described by liver disease specialists, is to be effectively resolved, then ‘Balance’ believes we must reeducate future generations.

Recent reports show that the North East has suffered from an almost 400% increase in alcoholic liver problems, the dramatic change in statistics coming as no surprise to many. Binge drinking is clearly popular up North, as I imagine most students at Newcastle University could tell you. However, the binge drinking culture associated with such shocking statistics would be expected around all major universities with large student populations. Anyone that has visited The Gate on a Saturday night can confirm that this kind of excess is clearly enjoyed by the locals as well. With drinking so easily accessible in Newcastle, I am surprised the statistics are not higher. In fact I’m fairly sure there’s a pub, bar or club on every street, not to mention the proportion of trebles bars up North. Combine this with the price of drinks and the drinking culture only seems set to worsen. Even Sinners has seen its ridiculously cheap £2 trebles challenged by Sam Jacks, costing only £1.95.

education access, has announced that 25 institutions, one fifth of English universities, have slashed the cost of tuition. One reason for this is the decreasing investment in bursaries. Instead feewaivers, which have risen by £37.4 million, are to be used to reduce the burden of tuition fees on the financially disadvantaged. The benefit of these changes for students has been doubted by President

of the National Union of Students (NUS), Liam Burns. He said: “The perverse incentives of the government’s changes mean that poorer pupils are encouraged towards courses and universities that have less funding.” The Director of Fair Access, Sir Martin Harris, added: “Bursaries and fee-waivers are not the same thing. Bursaries are money in a student’s pocket now, whereas fee-waivers reduce a loan that some students may

not need to repay in full.” Tuition loans will only be repaid when a graduate is earning a wage of at least £21,000. Because of this, the government’s expectations are that only 60% of graduates will pay back their loans in full, making fee-waivers essentially ineffective. London South Bank, Aston, Nottingham Trent, St Mary’s, Teesside, Wolverhampton, Cumbria and Southampton Solent Universities are all

Only a few years ago alcoholic-liver disease was very unusual in this age group and, unless our drinking habits change, the problem is only set to worsen.

The number of alcohol related deaths in the UK in 2008

One natively southern student said: “trebles would be about £7 back home; Newcastle night life is amazingly cheap. Nights out can be done on £10 which is pretty impossible anywhere else.” Despite government reports urging people to curb their drinking habits and comply with the recommended 2 or 3 units per day, the drinking culture in the North East seems to encourage students and locals alike to do the opposite.

Newcastle night life is amazingly cheap. Nights out can be done on £10 which is impossible anywhere else. With bars becoming such a large part of social lives and drinks only getting cheaper up North, these statistics are unlikely to change.

25 unis enact waivers to reduce fees

Kathryn Riddell With the major UCAS deadline for applying to higher education only weeks away it seems that universities are still making changes to the controversial new tuition fees to attract more applicants. The Office for Fair Access (OFFA), the government’s watchdog of higher

cutting fees to £7,500 or less when waivers and bursaries are accounted for. Other universities set to reduce fees include Chester, Chichester, Hertfordshire, Huddersfield, Leeds Trinity and the University of West London. As some university applications have already been sent, the institutions have had to let their applicants know of any changes. Applicants then have the opportunity to apply elsewhere before the deadline of January 15.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

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Arts and humanities degrees to get a 100% cut in government funding Courses will have to rely entirely on tuition fees Beth Staunton Politics Correspondent

The future of arts and humanities in British universities has been uncertain since government plans for higher education funding were fully revealed. 80% funding cuts has meant that the arts, humanities and social sciences will suffer a 100% loss in funding. This means that these courses will become entirely dependent on the money paid by students in tuition fees. High profile critics of these developments have received extensive coverage in the national media. The Vice Chancellor of Cambridge University, Sir Leszek Borysiewicz, declared to The Guardian that the increasing emphasis on the financial value of degrees threatened the future of the “purer disciplines”. “People start asking what’s the monetary value of a degree in English here?” More recently, renowned Classics professor Edith Hall resigned from

her post at Royal Holloway in protest against budget cuts to her department. Philosopher AC Grayling has set up a private university entirely devoted to the humanities in a controversial response to the lack of public funding the subjects receive. Meanwhile, numerous dedicated campaigns with slogans such as ‘Defend the Arts and Humanities’ have sprung up over the country. The government’s argument for cutting the funding entirely from humanities subjects is that they are cheaper to run, not requiring expensive equipment like science subjects. However, evidence shows that, despite the raised tuition fees designed to finance these subjects, courses across the country are suffering. The most remarkable example is London Metropolitan University where around 400 courses have been cancelled for 2012, including Philosophy, History and Performing Arts. However, what people have been most concerned about beyond the immediate financial threat to arts courses is the implied undervaluation of the arts and humanities as disciplines. The Browne Review, which informed the government on education

policy, was noted for not mentioning the word ‘humanities’ once while the word ‘business’ appeared 22 times. The growing emphasis on the commercial value of university education seems to disadvantage those disci-

£57billion The amount that the creative industries contribute to the national economy

plines, such as arts and humanities, not considered crucial to the economy. James Annesley, Head of English Literature at Newcastle University, believes this is a short-sighted approach: “I think what the government can see, probably slightly myopically, is a direct return – that money invested in STEM subjects feeds back into the economy in a very direct way. But they should be able to see a direct return with the arts as well. Why they don’t see teachers or lawyers as utilitarian, or people working in the creative industries as utilitarian, I

don’t know. But that’s what they don’t seem to recognise. The amazing thing about it is if you look at the cabinet, Cameron’s got a degree in PPE, and the vast majority of them have degrees in the humanities.” The creative industries contribute an estimated £57 billion to the national economy, and account for over 7% of UK companies, employing almost two million people. This is not including the financial revenue generated from the numerous careers that graduates in social sciences are qualified for, such as law, politics and media. However, Annesley argues that this purely commercial view of education is damaging. “This sort of money-in, money-out type of equation about education is nonsense. “It’s almost impossible to identify the limits of where social benefit lies. Cutting funding across the arts seems mad to me because one of the things that makes Britain a great place to live is the quality of our cultural life, and one of the reasons for this high quality is because we’ve got such great universities.” Matt Perry, Degree Programme Director for History at Newcastle, is

concerned that prioritizing the financial value of degrees on an individual level has furthered the vocational trend in higher education. “One of the things that the media talks about is that people have to see a direct relationship between their degree and a job for it to be valuable to them, but this is based on a flawed assumption that you’re more likely to get a job if you’re doing a specialised, vocational-type degree than if you’re in a broader, discipline-wide subject like English or History. “Part of this is about trying to rob the function universities have of critical thought, developing in people a mature intellectual capacity to think about the world, to be critical of the world and to reflect upon the world in a rounded way within a particular discipline. “Vocationalisation narrows down what people can do, it makes it a purely functional relationship to the career that they have at the end of their degree. I think this robs a lot of the educational buzz of higher education; after all, people want to go to university to broaden their horizons.”

Georgie Moule

lombia and Burma. Dlamini has campaigned against rising tuition fees and cuts to scholarship programmes, and has called on the Swazi government to honour its constitutional commitment to introduce free primary education in the country. Currently parents must pay fees for education at every level, meaning many children miss out on even the most basic formal education. The Deputy President of the Swaziland National Union of Students believes that Dlamini is being held as a political prisoner in the country, due to his highly publicised battles with the government and his popularity amongst his fellow students. He said: “Former Minister of Foreign Affairs and International Cooperation, who is now the Minister of Labour and Social Security Lutfo Dlamini once said there were no political prisoners in Swaziland, but the Students Union believes he is wrong. Maxwell Dlamini is one living example of what political imprisonment is all about.” Although imprisoned, Dlamini still managed to smuggle a news camera crew into the prison for an interview, outsmarting prison officials. The interview was aired on national television in Swaziland, fuelling support for the campaign to free Maxwell. As well as this, Dlamini also finished writing his dissertation and sat his third year exams whilst in prison, and still achieved good marks. Unfortunately, he was unable to attend his graduation ceremony. The campaign to free Dlamini has been gathering pace in recent months, and the nomination for an international award will undoubtedly increase support.

Imprisoned student nominated for prize The President of the Swaziland National Union of Students, who is currently imprisoned, has been nominated for a prestigious student peace prize. Maxwell Dlamini, who had previously enjoyed a secondment as an honorary President of the NUS in the UK, was arrested this year after organising the ‘April Uprising’. He led students in a national protest against a policy which prevents members of progressive organisations from receiving government scholarships to study in universities across Swaziland. The police allege that, during the protests, he was in possession of explosives. No evidence has been provided by prosecutors to prove he is guilty of possession of explosives, and there still seems to be none, adding to speculation that his imprisonment is politically motivated. Since then, Dlamini has been nominated for the 2012 Student Peace Prize in Norway, an award given every year by Norwegian students to students around the world who have done important work to promote democracy, peace and human rights. Dlamini was nominated by the Danish solidarity organisation ‘Africa Contact’ before his nomination was endorsed by the Free Maxwell Dlamini Campaign, the Swaziland United Democratic Front, and the All Africa Students Union. If he succeeds in winning the prize, his name will be included on a list of previous winners that features students Zimbabwe, Co-

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

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Tuition Fees in Scotland not as expensive as anticipated to avoid being “cheap option” Jennifer Cannon Figures have been released this week that show attending a Scottish university as a UK student will not be as expensive as first anticipated. The situation has been reviewed following the announcement that English fees would potentially treble and the Scottish government reacted by allowing its universities to charge similar amounts in order to avoid being a ‘cheap’ option. The review has also taken place amid fears that many English students will move to Scotland in order to escape rising tuition. However, it seems that Scottish universities have exercised moderation much more so than their English counterparts. With the exception of St. Andrews and Edinburgh (who will charge £36,000 for a degree) the av-

erage fee for a UK student in Scotland will be around £6270 - almost £600 less than the original prediction, and significantly cheaper than the £7500£9000 the vast majority of English universities will be allowed to charge. Despite the more moderate fee rise, NUS Scotland have warned the SNP government to ensure access to Scottish universities is not hindered by background or income, and has urged them to commit to firm plans to aid less well-off students with help such as means-tested bursaries. With these in place, fees for those who qualify could be as low as £4262 per year, less than £1000 higher than the current English fee. With recent studies showing that four in five 16-18 year olds would still like to attend university without the fee rise, this dramatic difference in cost could mean that Scotland becomes a very attractive prospect for other UK students.

The Scottish government had initially allowed universities to charge a similar amount to their UK counterparts Photography: Flickr

Poorer pupils behind their ‘privileged’ peers Anna Templeton

New research has found that the education gap between the most and least ‘privileged’ pupils is more pronounced in the UK than anywhere else in the world. The study by the Sutton Trust has found that children from the poorest-income families are more than a year behind their more fortunate classmates in education and social terms. The study compared data from Britain with nine other countries, including the United States, Australia, Canada and Germany. In most categories, research found that statistics for social mobility were worse than all other counties, except America.

This study coincides with Ofsted’s warning last week that deprivation continued to be a “significant factor influencing the quality of schools” in England. The conclusions also come as a new education think-tank is launched on Monday in an attempt to promote fresh debate on the current system. Ty Goddard, former chairman for education in the London Borough of Lambeth, and a government advisor, said, “There’s much to celebrate when it comes to education in the UK. Millions of learners do well at school and in further and higher education, preparing for a changing world.” “But as last week’s Ofsted annual report showed, some do not, despite the resources available.”

In a blow to Labour’s ‘educational legacy’, it was found that schools catering for the poorest 20% of pupils were four times as likely to be considered ‘inadequate’ than those educating the wealthiest 20%. This inequality, therefore, is being reinforced by the huge differences in the

20%

Schools catering for this percentage of the poorest students are more likely to be considered inadequate

standards of schools. Sir Peter Lampl, the chairman of the Sutton Trust, said

the problem was likely to get worse in coming years as children from wealthier backgrounds continued to pull ahead. The worrying research comes despite a range of Coalition policies designed to tackle education, including the introduction of the ‘pupil premium’ to reward schools taking large numbers of children from more deprived backgrounds. Researchers also analysed the difference in academic standards achieved by pupils at the ages of 11 and 16. They found that gaps in attainment in Britain became “substantially bigger” at GCSE age compared with age 11. The study said the differences were driven by the “social stratification that exists” in secondary education,

adding, “The widening of the education gap in pupil performance after primary school appears to be related to the sorting of children into secondary schools. Better educated parents have their children in better quality schools.” “These latest international comparisons confirm that the education gaps at every stage between disadvantaged children and privileged children are greater in the UK than in other developed countries,” said Sir Peter Lampl. “In this country, unlike others, the educational achievement gap widens after age 11. As education is becoming increasingly important in determining prospects in adult life, these findings do not bode well for future social mobility in the UK.”

Scottish postgrads to receive funding

David Hiscocks

Recently, the Scottish Government announced that it would provide an extra 2300 postgraduates with loans of up to £3400. This brings the total number of state assisted post-grad places in Scotland up to 4000. Michael Russell, the Scottish Education Secretary, said, “We have been looking at ways in which we can simplify and improve student support, including how we fund those studying for postgraduate qualifications. This extra funding is admirable and timely.” However, this announcement has once again shown the funding gap between Scotland and England. In England, postgraduates receive no state support; instead they often have to rely upon commercial loans. According to David Matthews of The Times Higher Education online, the English post-grad system is in a state of crisis.

Comments on the website indicate that some members of the public, such as AnonymousPlease, believe that postgraduate courses are becoming the ‘domain of the rich’.

2300

The number of students who will receive loans to help fund their studies.

Therefore, although this latest announcement is welcomed, we do have to ask why there is not similar provision being made for students in the English University system. It appears to be remarkably unfair that English students, as well as having to pay undergraduate tuition fees, unlike Scottish students studying in Scotland, do not receive state assistance for doing a postgraduate course either.

Postgraduates at Edinburgh University are among the two thousand students to benefit from the government funds Photography: Flickr

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

national student news

Lecturer slams students’ union on Twitter over strikes stance George Sandeman News Editor

A senior University and College Union (UCU) of�icial has branded Bournemouth Students’ Union (SUBU) as ‘disgraceful’ on Twitter. John Brissenden, the UCU’s main representative at the South Coast University, denounced the Students’ Union over its stance not to back the recent national strike over pensions. SUBU adopted the formal position because it believed most students were in favour of the industrial action attended by members of various trade unions including Unison, Unite and the TUC.

Job Title: Customer Service Representative (General Insurance) Employer: Tesco Bank Closing date: 29.02.12 Salary: £15,200 - £20,000 pro rata, + benefits Basic job description: Part Time Customer Service Representatives are required to work various shifts (evenings and weekends) at the General Insurance call centre in Newcastle. You will be there to answer a broad range of enquiries about our General Insurance products and services ensuring you deliver a first class customer experience. Person requirements: It’s important that you’re the kind of person who relishes the opportunity to make a difference for our customers, every day. With excellent communication skills and proven customer service experience, you’ll naturally go the extra mile. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Customer Advisor - Front End/ Checkouts Employer: B&Q Closing date: 12.12.11 Salary: £10,000 - £12,000 pro rata Basic job description: We are looking for a Customer Advisor to join our team working 16 hours per week at the store on Scotswood Rd, Newcastle. Your role will include delivering the highest standard of customer service and providing a great shopping experience that ensures our customers return to shop with us, time and time again. You will be responsible for providing help and advice to all of our customers in a friendly and efficient manner. Person requirements: An enthusiastic and energised attitude with a passion for delivering excellent customer service, enjoy working with others as a team and possess an ability to work effectively without direct supervision. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Kitchen Staff Employer: J.D Wetherspoons Closing date: 15.12.11 Salary: £6.25 per hour Basic job description: This role is available at The Bishops’ Mill pub in Sunderland and will be for 16 hours per week. As a member of our kitchen team, you will be responsible for ensuring all food and associated products are prepared, cooked, served and presented to our high standards. Person requirements: With excellent

The exact tweet read: “@sububournemouth is a disgrace for not supporting striking @ucu and @unison members at @bournemouthuni today.” A member of the UCU said: “When you consider the NUS gave the strike its full support, it was odd that Bournemouth’s Students’ Union was sitting on its hands. “The sense we had was that some students were sympathetic, some were not interested. “But at no point was the UCU invited to inform SUBU or the student body about the background.” Around half of Bournemouth University’s 580 academic staff are members of UCU, and Unison has 132

customer service skills, you should be professional and well presented and be able to communicate clearly with people at all levels. Location: Durham. Job Title: Female Support Worker Employer: United Response Closing date: 16.12.11 Salary: £6.53 per hour Basic job description: We are looking for enthusiastic and creative Female Support Workers to join our staff team in Darlington, you will be involved in encouraging the people we support in meaningful interactions in a person centred way. We will offer you ongoing training and development and regular 1:1’s with your line manager to enable you to achieve the required standard. Person requirements: You must be aged 18+ and be both literate and numerate. Experience of working with people with physical and learning disabilities is an advantage. An NVQ2 or equivalent in social care would be advantageous, if not, you must be willing to work towards one. Current clean driving licence is essential. Location: Darlington. Job Title: Focus Group Participant Employer: Studacity Ltd. Closing date: 16.12.11 Salary: £7.00 per hour Basic job description: We’re looking for a number of students to take part in focus groups throughout January surrounding a newly launched website that provides information to students and young professionals on businesses, events and promotions throughout Newcastle. There will be a number of face-to-face group sessions, as well as online surveys and user feedback sessions. Person requirements: We are looking for people from all backgrounds and at all stages of their university degrees. The ideal participants will be socially connected at their university; they will have a wide variety of interests; and they will use several channels for seeking information on things to do. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Postgraduate Assessors Employer: Newcastle University Closing date: 21.12.11 Salary: £12.20 per hour Basic job description: Upon successful completion of training, work with a partner to assess Career Development module students by means of a simulated job

members from the 795 professional and support staff. SUBU responded to the criticism by releasing a statement saying: “Whilst understanding the motivation of those groups who are engaged in ‘action’, SUBU cannot condone any action which impedes its student members from engaging in their studies, unless the majority of those student members decide that it is appropriate to do so.” Exercise student Kev Parshotam said: “We didn’t hear much about it from the Students’ Union, and I am sure most students’ would have supported it. “But we also want to get the most out of our money.”

interview. With reference to the assessment criteria, agree provisional student marks and write formative feedback for each student assessed. Provide cover in the event of examiner absence and to liaise with module staff on specified assessment matters. This opportunity is available from 14/5/12 – 1/6/12. Candidates are expected to attend assessor training in March as part of the selection process. Person requirements: This post is available to Newcastle University full time postgraduate students only. Applicants are expected to possess an undergraduate degree from a recognised University and can demonstrate current experience of assessing Undergraduate students. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Face to Face Fundraisers Employer: RNLI Closing date: 02.01.12 Salary: £7.50 per hour Basic job description: The RNLI is the charity that saves lives at sea. We are looking for people to fundraise for the RNLI, engaging in conversation with the public to raise awareness and vital finds through regular support. Season dates available: July-September, 3040 hours per week; selected weekends from January to October, 14-21 hours per week. Person requirements: We’re looking for people with excellent communication skills, motivation, and a positive attitude. No previous fundraising experience is required as full training will be provided. Location: North East England. Job Title: Lunchtime Supervisory Assistant Employer: Newcastle City Council Closing date: 16.12.11 Salary: £12,787 - £13,589 pro rata Basic job description: A Lunchtime Supervisory Assistant is required to work 6.25 hours per week at St Cuthbert’s RC Primary School, Newcastle. Duties include: Supervising children during lunchtimes in school and on the playground, maintaining general cleanliness of the lunch area and maintaining good behaviour according to the school’s behaviour policy. It is expected that the successful candidate will fully support the Catholic ethos and faith life of the school. Person requirements: The successful candidate will: Have experience of working with children, be flexible, be able to work well within a team and be willing to undertake training. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Occupation at Brighton ended

was promised to the University upon completion of his PhD.

Clare Atkinson

Oxford to play Qudditch match

Brighton University

Oxford University

Students at the University of Brighton have ended a �ive day occupation of a building on campus. The occupation came as a protest against the government’s education cuts. The group of about 30 students began their protest on Thursday and left on Monday. The building they were occupying was an art gallery on campus, where an exhibition of some students’ work was scheduled to take place. The show would have been cancelled had the protestors continued to occupy the building. One occupier stated “the decision was taken after consulting with students whose work was set to be exhibited.” It was also made clear that they did not wish to cause disruption to their fellow peers. However, the group said their occupation had successfully drawn attention to their views against the white paper and other education cuts.

The �irst intercollegiate Quidditch match was played at Oxford University, following the relaunch of the university-wide Harry Potter society. The ‘Muggle Quidditch Match’ was hosted by Worcester College and played against St Edmund’s. The version consisted of eight players per team, running with broomsticks between their legs and attempting to score points by throwing balls through vertical hoops. As in J. K. Rowling’s version, the match is ended when the seeker captures the snitch. The snitch was represented by a player with a tennis ball inside a sock tucked into their waistband. Organiser of the match and Worcester student Angus Barry, commented, “I formed the Worcester Quidditch team a couple of weeks ago and it was much easier to persuade people to join than I expected!”

Counterfeit Vodka seized

Nude calendar causes a stir University of Leeds

Salford University Bottles of counterfeit vodka with the potential to cause serious harm to health have been seized in Salford. Trading Standards Of�icers have searched 172 shops, off-licences, pubs and clubs. The searches came as a result of one resident contacting the council complaining the vodka tasted “funny”. The �irst seizures were made on November 18, where a shop was found to possess 15 bottles of the vodka labelled as Drop Vodka and 74 branded as Smirnoff Red Label. Further seizures have since been made, but there is concern that there could be many more bottles in circulation. Salford Council stated that the bottles contained “denatured alcohol”. Laboratory tests revealed the exact nature of the substance to be isopropyl alcohol, more commonly used as surgical spirit. If consumed it can lead to nausea, vomiting and potentially induce coma. The investigation is ongoing.

Gadda�i’s son refused place

Oxford University A senior government of�icial has been accused of attempting to secure a place for Colonel Gadda�i’s son at Oxford University. Saif al-Islam Gadda�i is alleged to have wanted to study for an MSc in Development Economics or the MPhil in Development Studies. Oxford University, however, refused the proposal. Professor Fitzgerald, Head of Oxford’s Department of International Development, stated: “This is not only as issue of professional ethics, but also that under-quali�ied students struggle to keep up with the intense pace of Oxford postgraduate study.” Following refusal from Oxford, Gadda�i turned instead to the London School of Economics. It was also found that a �igure of £1.5 million

A nude calendar by members of Leeds University’s Equestrian Society has caused controversy. Sky Presenter Colin Brazier labelled the calendar “porn” on his blog and one student claimed that the calendar was no more than “a convenient smokescreen for exhibitionism.” Laura Fielding, president of the society, has expressed her regret that the focus has become shifted from the charity, Otley and District Riding for the Disabled, to the nudity alone. Despite bad press, the calendar has so far raised over £1000. Furthermore, it was seen by a group of British soldiers, who contacted the society. The girls in the calendar have now agreed to become mascots for Company A, Fifth Battalion, The Ri�les in Afghanistan. Fielding stated that for the girls in the society, it was about showing support for the Otley District Riding for the Disabled and for the troops during their time in Afghanistan.

York to invest in uni experience University of York

The University of York has announced a �inancial injection of £2 million to improve student experience. Among the initiatives that the cash will create is for the University to have “night-time staf�ing in all eight colleges” and to spend £100,000 on expanding the trial of digitally recorded lectures. York Sport will also see an increase in funds to spend on coaching and the running of the clubs themselves. Jane Grenville, Pro-Vice-Chancellor for students said she was, “very pleased about the additional spending on sport; reducing the staff-tostudent ratio; and on a bundle of key texts and reading resources. “

Comment

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

Comment Editors: Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor: Jack Torrance courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk

thecourieronline.co.uk/comment

Many animal welfare campaigners have dubbed the arrangement more commerce than conservation

It’s hoped the pandas will breed in a battle to avoid their extinction Photography: gill_penney (Flickr)

High hopes for randy pandas Laura Wotton

ith the introduction of two giant pandas this December, Edinburgh Zoo have had more than their fair share of premature Christmas revelry. Having boarded a specially chartered �light, Tian Tian and Yang Guang, translated ‘Sweetie’ and ‘Sunshine’, became Edinburgh’s newest citizens this Sunday, the pair embracing the near-freezing temperatures before being admitted into their £250,000 enclosure at the zoo. The two have become the �irst pandas in the UK for 17 years, a title that critics fear will dub the pandas as yet another tourist attraction for the thousands anxious to view these en-

dangered foreigners. Yet behind the glaze of tourist hype, the objectives of this ‘panda-transition’ seem highly commendable. David Windmill, chief executive of�icer of the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland (RZSS), stated back in January of this year that the arrangement would represent, “the beginning of a program of research, education and partnership [...] both in supporting giant panda conservation and in enhancing our programs in education, science and conservation.” It is hoped that the pandas will eventually, successfully breed and produce offspring critical in supporting the dwindling numbers of the giant panda species. However, it is dif�icult to see this arrangement as one entirely grounded in conservation. The preeminent success of this transition seems limited; only one zoo-reared panda has successfully been restored to its natural habitat and even this unfortunate creature was dead within a year, prompting questions as to what will

become of the pandas once their 10 year ‘trial’ is up. A spokeswoman supporting the ethical treatment of animals strongly condemned the arrangement, in her assertion that “Edinburgh Zoo is putting the ‘con’ in conservation by trying to hoodwink the public into believing that the salvation of pandas lies in warehousing these sensitive animals.” Yet, judging by the dwindling numbers of China’s ‘national treasure’, housing the pandas through this method seems the only means of protection against their imminent extinction. With the disproportional development of China’s economy, the pandas’ natural habitat in the mountainous areas of South-West China is being increasingly threatened by transport links, not to mention the continuation of poaching in both protected and unprotected regions. Zoo of�icials have high hopes for panda offspring, both pandas carrying familial genes that signal successful breeding. In-

deed, where is more sensible to ‘cultivate’ the panda population than in a reputably ‘world-leading’ zoo with a universal reputation for animal conservation? Nevertheless, many animal welfare campaigners have dubbed the arrangement ‘more commerce than conservation,’ labelling the panda transition as a ‘primarily commercial deal’. An animal ethics campaigner outlines the supposed masked intentions of the deal stating that, “Over time, [...] we will see that this has less to do with conservation or education, and much more to do with resurrecting the fortunes of a fading visitor attraction.” Indeed, tourism of�icials in Edinburgh see the arrival of the pandas as simply a catalyst for rising visitor numbers, set to increase by 70% in the pandas �irst year. A spokeswoman for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals deplored the pandas commercialised status asserting that, ‘Tian Tian and Yang Guang are not ‘�lagships’, nor even diplomatic gifts,

but commodities in a primarily commercial exchange.” Or perhaps we are inclined to see this primarily as a political agreement. Certainly China’s treasured ‘gift’ to the UK seems an easy means of establishing a stable relationship between the two countries, His Excellency Mr. Liu Xiaoming, Ambassador of China stating that their conservational cooperation “will represent an important symbol of [their] friendship and will bring [their] two people closer together.” The project, after all, will be principally funded by sponsorship, allowing the two countries to embark upon a new relationship based on commercialisation, international corporation and education, promoting what the Scottish government term a ‘growing friendship’ between the two. Whether a retrograde step or genuine attempt at long-term protection, the pandas arrival has certainly stirred a controversy set to challenge the ethics of this ‘new generation’ of animal conservation.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

comment

Should the Govt control executive pay? Wills Robinson News Editor

Yes

his country has always seen a disparity between socio-economic groups. Under Thatcher, the problem got worse with the creation of the under-class, and with the onset of New Labour and its arguable continuation under David Cameron, the gap between the countries richest and poorest is get-

ting bigger. A mere 1.5% of the country earn over £100,000 a year, showing that the majority of the wealth in the UK is concentrated in a select few. The pay of boardroom executives has been a prevalent topic of conversation ever since the start of the recession. It’s an issue that has only been prodded and poked and yet fully dealt with. The millions that are reportedly taken home by the country’s �inancial elite is sometimes ridiculous. The fact that some of these individuals are key players in the economic problems in this country proves it hypocritical that they are still reaping �inancial bene�its. Whilst they are gallivanting around the south of France in their yachts, a far larger number of Brits are struggling to �ind a job and pay their bills. This image alone suggests that the government need to do all they can to end the bonus culture that

has dominated this country so much in the past twenty-or-so years. The words of Nick Clegg can’t just be rhetoric, as politics seems to be these days; it needs to be cemented on paper. There may be a backlash from the businesses that form a key part of the political machine in this country but it is a side effect that should be taken with a pinch of salt. If we are to achieve more �inancial equality and shrink the wealth gap then major steps need to be taken. Especially now, a lot of the bigger companies have gone into public ownership, which means that the boardroom salaries, or at least some of them, are coming out of the pockets of the tax-paying citizens. At the end of the day, the fat cats need to be made thinner and this will only happen if some of their golden parachutes are shrunk.

George Sandeman News Editor

he idea of the Government dictating to individuals how much they can and can’t earn is at best draconian and at worst, authoritarian. A distinction must be made between those in the private sector, who function purely on private money, and those who received government Should Clegg take action against Canary Wharf giant paypackets? Photography: Julian Mason (Flickr)

the fat cats need to be made thinner and this will only happen if some of their golden parachutes are shrunk

money in the quite recent economic ‘bailout’. The latter are, in my opinion, now accountable to the taxpayer in light of the money they received and the pay given to their employees, including executives, should be set by the state. After all, without the taxpayer’s money, institutions like HBOS and Lloyds would have gone under and left millions of people destitute. Not only did the government then have a duty to protect people’s money but also to reform the industry ensuring the separation between high street retail banking and investment banking. Therefore, when Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg and Business Secretary Vince Cable call for curbs to executive pay, I believe it is only acceptable if the private company is indebted to the taxpayer. However, I think it is unacceptable if the government directly regulates the pay of people otherwise functioning in the private sector. These individuals are not accountable to the taxpayer because they endure the ‘risk vs. reward’ nature of private enterprise. If they fail, there is no government money to prop them up and they live the hardships of their failure. By the same token, when they succeed, they should be able to enjoy the fruits of their labour. The present con�lict arises around the remuneration given to top executives in business, and in particular, those running FTSE 100 companies. The present system runs along the lines of shareholders voting on recommendations of pay that the company’s executives receive; and these recommendations are given to remuneration committees who then formally set the executive pay for that year. Often, these boards are comprised of executives and there is a perception that they abuse their positions of power in order to reward themselves. This may be true, and in light of this, the government wants to make shareholder votes binding and make companies more transparent to their shareholders. These measures, are to me, perfectly justi�iable as it is the shareholders holding the company executives to account, rather than the government. However, the notion that there should be a maximum wage that an individual can earn infringes on the values of Western Democracy.

Mental illness should be listened to, not stigmatised Tessa Tyler Todd

ere’s a shocking statistic for you all, 75% of us know someone with a mental illness. However, we might not know that they are mentally ill. You see that’s the problem with mental illness, even now in our Twenty �irst century society, the age where we know everything about everyone, where Facebook and Twitter document our every move; there are some things we still don’t talk about. One of

those things is mental illness. The problem is that many see mental illness as a sign of weakness, in reality mental illness is, as the name suggests, an illness. The only difference between a mental illness and a physical illness is that the causes and cures are still relatively unknown for mental illness. There is not one speci�ic drug that will de�initely work, nor is there one type of therapy. However ‘Time to Change’, a charity devoted to removing the stigma attached to mental health, carried out a recent survey to gain a better understanding of our attitudes to mental illness. It revealed that 60% of those surveyed say that the stigma is as bad, if not worse, than the symptoms. This is why the suicide of Gary Speed could prove to be a turning point; all who watched his football career saw him as strong and capable. Possibly as

far away from the stigma of weakness that is attached to mental illness as you can get. Hopefully many will see this and realise that mental illness is an illness, and not a sign of weakness. Obviously, we do not know the personal circumstances surrounding his death; he could have been mid-way through treatment, he could have just been about to seek help, or he could have not wanted to get help due to the stigma attached to mental health illness. It is, however, both surprising and sickening how many casual mental health insults are out there. Any behaviour not deemed within the boundaries of ‘normal’ leads to constant references to ‘psychos’ and people being ‘bonkers’ in the media. This not only leads many to believe it is acceptable to ridicule mental illness, but it also leads people to think that

all of those with mental illness are violent, which of course is not the case. Not only that, but Boris Johnson’s aid, Daniel Moylan, called Ken Livingston, a “schizophrenic” this week. The problem being that schizophrenia is an illness, not an insult. It is one thing to look at the stigma found in society, it is another to look at that stigma found in law. Currently, those who are sectioned under the Mental Health Act cannot become MPs, even if they are fully recovered. Yet what is more ridiculous is that an MP can continue to be an MP in a coma, whereas if someone is sectioned for more than 6 months they must stand down even if this is not what their constituents want. What does this say to those who have a mental illness? Obviously not all sufferers are sectioned, this being an extreme measure. But as Parliament

is supposed to be representative, and with one in four people suffering from mental illness, we have to ask what message this conveys to society? To be honest, it’s not a very positive one. Mental illness is not a weakness, nor are those who suffer ‘psychos’. Anyone and everyone could have a mental illness at some point in their lives. They shouldn’t feel ashamed and they should �ind understanding in their community, not ridicule. The director of ‘Time to Change” said they aim to overturn decades of prejudice. Hopefully, with the funding they’ve secured and the fact that awareness about mental illness is increasing, we will soon see this change in ours.

Emails in response to articles should be sent to editor.union@ncl.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

comment

Rioters united against JJB, not the police Sally Priddle

hen you imagine the uniting of people against a common enemy, it is traditionally an evil dictator or a corrupt country. Basically, a positive thing - so can we really class uniting against the police in the same category? Well, this is one of the conclusions drawn from The Guardian’s survey into the summer’s London Riots. Interviewing over 300 people, they were seeking a real reasons that caused such chaos to take hold of London. The answer, apparently, was a ‘sort of revenge’ on the police, a rage against the injustice that people have been suffering at the hands of the police over the years. I don’t know if this is just my naïve opinion, but I am unsure how looting local shops, setting �ire to buildings and running people over counts as a revenge on the police. To me it just sounds like an excuse to get a new out�it from JJB Sports. The hatred for the police appears to come from a rooted disdain for being caught or told how to behave, with two thirds of the people interviewed having been cautioned or charged by the police. However, their main issue with the police seems to be that no matter what they had done or not done, they were being immediately treated like criminals. Although this is obviously an unjust attitude on the part of the police, I feel there is a better way to demonstrate their upset and disapproval rather than use the façade of a peaceful protest for a dead man to begin riots that caused upset and pain to entire communities. If you were proving your point against the police that you shouldn’t be deemed a thug or automatically seen as a criminal, rioting probably is not the best way to go about it.

The Guardian survey asked 270 of those involved in the August riots a list of possible causes for their actions, and whether these were signi�icant issues which the rest of the country needed to address. The two main reasons were poverty and policing, with 86% of people saying that the causes were either ‘important’ or ‘very important’. The paper also surveyed the general public to decide whether the answers corresponded. They asked 1,001 adults across the UK the same questions and 86% of people alluded to poor parenting and criminality as the leading causes of the riots. Although, some would argue that this is an in proportionate survey, the answers demonstrate what I would argue is the general public opinion towards the riots; they were unnecessary and were caused purely for sel�ish personal gain rather than to prove a justi�ied point. I openly admit I do not truly understand gang culture, however the animosity between the police and ‘gangs’ appears to be a tradition that neither are willing to relent on. There have been incidents in the past where the police can be seen to be biased and unfairly treating of people, and the controversy surrounding Mark Duggan led to many people accusing the police of behaviour that was abusing their position of authority and being unnecessarily violent. I can understand the frustration that is suffered by people who feel they are often automatically judged. For example, when I tell people I’m a student I �ind myself physically lifted into a box (cardboard, obviously), labelled ‘tax dodger that watches too much Countdown’. However, these preconceived ideas that some people have are unjust and are often founded upon the bad examples that certain people have set in the past. I personally don’t see how rioting, looting and harming those that are not anything to do with the situation proves that they are above the police’s unjust assumptions of them. A ‘revenge’ on the police may have been required, however, in my opinion, rioting made whatever point they were trying to prove obsolete.

‘Revenge’ on police was just an excuse? Photography: Chris Brown (Flickr)

Uni’s ‘pleasant green space’ just a waste? Elliot Bentley Deputy Editor

ast week I wrote a news article for The Courier on the “student forum”; a new open area to replace the derelict (and now demolished) Museum of Antiquities. The University’s press of�ice describes the planned work as being “a pleasant green space, with landscaping and artwork”. Not half a bad idea, really. Even with the current pile of rubble standing, the removal of the Museum considerably opens up the space and gives a nice view of the Armstrong building. The focal point of the area is to be Generation, a work by Newcastle graduate Joe Hillier consisting of

three giant heads (and currently on display in the quadrant). So it all sounds pretty good, right? Well, that is until you hear the price of the development: a whopping £1.5m. It’s an incredible amount, especially when you consider it’s being spent on a space the size of a moderately large back garden. What could possibly justify such a large amount of money for such a simple development? It boggles the mind – it’s not as if complex construction work is being carried out, or any state-of-the-art computers are being installed. Then again, I suppose it’s probably easy for the University’s accountants to lose their sense of perspective. After all, the Uni’s total income last year was £382m; and as investments in the campus go, it’s a pretty minor one. The shiny King’s Gate building, for example, cost £35m (although plans for a VIP lounge, which would have cost an additional £850,000, were eventually scrapped); the un�inished

INTO block next to the Herschel building, set to provide accommodation and lecture theatres exclusively for international students, is costing another £34m. While, even for the University these are massive investments, they still only take up a fraction of its development budget. According to documents freely available on the University’s website, improvements planned for the campus from 2010-2015 will total a cool £130m. From that perspective, £1.5m is a drop in the ocean for the Uni’s budget; a mere 1% of its �ive-year plan. It’s still, however, a silly amount to spend on a “pleasant green space”; the equivalent of 160 bursaries. And on the subject of bursaries: it’s interesting to note that the Uni’s £130m development fund is more than double the £55 million pledged in October for “bursaries, fee waivers and activities [to help] widen participation” over the next �ive years. It speaks volumes that more money

is being spent on artfully landscaped plazas and shiny administrative of�ices than making the University as open as possible. What use is this Student Forum, anyway? When was the last time you saw anyone sitting around outside on campus, other than the couple of weeks in May when the sun comes out? A cynic might accuse the University of building this “student forum” merely to impress visitors on open days, rather than genuinely improve the campus for existing students in a practical way. Who knows, perhaps I’ll be proven wrong next year when the “student forum” becomes a cornerstone of student life. Even if it does, however, I still doubt it will be worth the exorbitant cost; and I fear that Newcastle University is placing too much importance on impressing wealthy prospective students than enticing those who wouldn’t consider it in the �irst place.

This week I’ve learnt... Becky Orwin

... when in a train crisis, call your mum.

Once again, I spent Friday afternoon travelling; this time going home for my mum’s birthday. This required getting a train from Newcastle to York, stopping to see a friend, then another train from York to Shef�ield (my hometown). Simple. Right? Well, er, no. Part One: So, the �irst part of this disastrous story begins with me, loaded up with four bags (I �igured I might as well take some Christmas stuff home), spinning around in my room, repeating: “Do I have everything?” Thinking the answer was yes, I got down to the train station, looked at the ticket barriers and an explosion of swearwords went off in my head as I realised I had forgotten my train tickets. Yes folks, that’s right, my train tickets. After wasting two or three minutes breathing deeply and trying not to panic, I called a taxi to Ricky Road and back. I’d originally arrived very early (irony’s a bitch), and my train was delayed, meaning that I eventually only missed it by about a minute and actually watched it pull away before spending £15 on a replacement ticket to York. Anyway, I did eventually get to York and still had time for tea with my friend before, little did I know I had a disaster travel sequel on the cards. Part Two: Being as my train to Shef�ield was supposed to leave at 17.44 from platform 5, I assumed that the train standing on platform 5 at 17.41 was the right train. Sigh. I ended up in Newark. I don’t know where that is, either. The point of realisation was made especially painful by the exceptionally helpful train ticket man, who answered my panicked question of ‘Does this train go to Shef�ield?’ with a highly informative ‘No.’ The situation was complicated with my arrival in the mysterious Newark, when I was told I couldn’t get a direct train to Shef�ield, but would have to go back to Doncaster and change there. Thankfully, at this point I rang my mum on the verge of tears, and she took pity on me and said she’d pick me up from Doncaster. Though I was in no mood to �ind the whole situation funny, the fact that my best friend’s reaction (when I rang her in an effort to keep myself from bursting into tears on Newark platform) was to wet herself laughing did actually alert me to the fact that the whole situation would, in retrospect, make quite an amusing story, if nothing else. Now Part One, I acknowledge was entirely my own fault. But Part Two could have been very easily prevented, if the board on platform 5 had been altered to say that this train had in fact been delayed and went to Newark, not Shef�ield. Or if the train had not been delayed in the �irst place, and the train I should actually have been on had been allowed to be on time. But no, National Rail (once again) screwed me over. Oh well; at least I got a story out of it.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

comment

Best of this week’s online responses Re: Clegg looks to help the young jobless Robin Macfarlane: At last clegg is doing something worthwhile,promoting young people. This fund sould be used to forward permanent aprentshps in building skills. To build social housing in unemployment areas,together with ind.&comml sites to bring in more jobs. I fear a fund without direction will just be spent on non permanent advances to companies wanting cheap labour. Re:From graduation to the grocery store Liz Johnson: In response to the article above, I am writing to let you know that the Careers Service has just launched a Graduate Apprentices scheme to support graduate employment in the north east. Based on the success of the 2009-2011 Graduate Apprentices scheme which saw 134 placements allocated between June 2009 and January 2011, the Careers Service has recently obtained some additional funding to run it again, offering graduates the opportunity to gain graduate level work in the North East. 92% of graduates from the 2009-2011 scheme were retained in longer term employment. Graduates can register their interest in the scheme by completing the Graduate Interest Form (see weblink below) – by doing so, they’ll be kept up to date with opportunities as they’re released and advertised on Vacancies Online. You can ﬁnd out more on the Careers Service website.

http://www.ncl.ac.uk/careers/jobs/finding/ northeast/gradapprentices.php Re: Students pay uni £32,000 damages

Results of this week’s online poll

Rachel: Just another case of Richardson road residents being penalised unfairly. When I was living there almost every ﬂat I knew had been charged a ridiculous amount for only minimal damage. Yes Ricky Road is the ‘party block’ but surely residents of other halls must cause more damage than these ﬁgures suggest. Re: History lessons should be balanced not just British Jason: Its good to see an article bringing this issue to light. I agree that there should be more focus on teaching British history but it shouldn’t be only the bits that make us look good. The fact that a leading politician suggests it should is highly worrying, I’m all for patriotism but not at the expense of the truth.

Yes

Are children too often exposed to themes like drugs and sex? No - Shielding them from the real world is ultimately pointless. 43% Yes - a child’s innocence should be protected. 57%

Re: Should children be exposed to the ‘truth’? Alexander Fenton: In my personal opinion, children should be taught sexual education at Primary school as children in cases are already having sex by the time reach secondary and need to know all the ins and outs

To respond to this week’s articles visit

thecourieronline.co.uk

“

Cook a delicious dinner p17

Where to go on NYE p34

Best of 2011 starts p28

Christmas Special Tune in to Xmas TV p20

Find the perfect gift p14

Party frocks p18 38

Puzzles

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12 2011

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lifestyle fashion music ﬁlm arts science tv

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

The only Christmas G Under £5

Mum

Sister

Brother

Magic Wand, £4.95 Lush

Hat, £4, Primark

Call of Duty poster, £4, HMV

Barry M Nail Polish, £2.99, Boots

Bath bombs, £2.50 Lush Superman socks, £2, Primark

Under £10

Cosy Ballet Slippers £10, Marks & Spencers

Boxers, £5 Primark

One Direction CD, £8.99, HMV

Bag, £10 Primark

Sonic the Hedgehog PJs, £9, Primark

Under £20

Inbetweeners box set £18, HMV Purse, £17 River Island

Bridesmaids, £12.99 HMV

Santa Onesie, £12 Primark

Under £30

Atonement & Mamma Mia, £5, That’s Entertainment

Family Photoshoot £25 www.buyagift.com Cardigan, £24.99 New Look

Speakers, £29 HMV

Splash out

Rose Fine Leather Gloves £15, Marks & Spencers

Hoody,£24.95 H&M Angry Bird iPod dock, £55.99, HMV

Emily Rae

Vera Wang Perfume, £60, Debenhams

Jessica Timms

Vineyard Tour £49,www.buyagift.com

Lauren Cordell

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

Lifestyle Editors: Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Editor: Emma Balter

Gift Guide you’ll need Dad

Grandparents

Socks, £3.99 Clinton Cards

Socks, £3.50 Marks & Spencers

Boyfriend Sucker Stand, £3.99, Discovery Store

Flatmate Snow Globe, £5, Paperchase

Cocktail Book, £6, Marks & Spencer

Teabag/spoon holder, £5 Past Times

Punk Legend book, £3 HMV

Watch, £5, Primark

Handkerchiefs, £6, Marks & Spencers 3 Classic DVDs, £5, That’s Entertainment

Grinch DVD, £3, HMV

Joke Gift, £10, Fenwicks

Shower Gel Gift Set, £9.95 Ofﬁcers Club Bob Dylan CD, £7.99, HMV

Biscuits, £8.99 Marks & Spencers

Giant Sweet Jar, £16.50, Debenhams

Bag, £15.95, Ofﬁcers Club

Mobile Phone Case, £15 Marks & Spencers

Photo Frame, £12.50, Past Times

Jumper, £12, Primark

CHAV Board game, £20, WHSmith Belt, £25 Marks & Spencers

Mug, £7.50, Waterstones Dressing Gown, £49.50 Marks & Spencers

Gift card for a romantic night, Priceless

Cleaning voucher, Sweat and tears Your house Michelle Janetschek

Gig Tickets, Around £60 for 2 Ticketmaster.com

Shea Butter Set, £25, The Body Shop Georgina Moule

Evelina Malteson

Rosie Devonshire

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

xmasspecial

Coping with Christmas

Sometimes it isn’t always all carolling out in the snow. Here’s what to do when festive spirit runs low, reality takes a bite and there isn’t a treble close at hand...

family

Some of you will be oozing with festive excitement as the end of term is nigh: you just can’t wait to see your family again, decorate the Christmas tree, stuff the stockings, and have family bonding time over a log �ire... Well good for you, you lucky bastards. Others dread impending doom: close proximity with family members, parents who can’t stand one another and throw the term divorce around like nobody’s business, siblings who argue over Christmas presents, cousins whose names you can’t recall, uncles and aunts who want to know why you don’t have a job/ why you study English Literature, grandparents who want to know why you aren’t married yet. Aside from celebrating Jesus’ birth, Christmas is simply a catalyst for an almighty row! But is Christmas a time to be merry? Yes, so much so that families are forced into a two-week binge on alcohol, chocolate and Daddy’s credit card in a futile attempt to be merry. However once the chocolate and booze are exhausted, Boxing Day brings a god-awful come-down and a realisation that we have spent, eaten and drank far too much. Our thoughts become cloudedwhy do I never get to choose the movie? Why did my big brother get the Iphone 4s and I got his old 3g? Why don’t I �it into my party dress for New Year? We begin to move slowly to the dark side and abracadabra, the family squabbles begin. A survey conducted last year showed that while 69% were looking forward to spending Christmas with their family, a surprising 22% were expecting a family row over the festive season. A similar study asked 2000 people to explain the reasons behind these altercations. It would appear that the most common cause was the TV remote. Also high on the list was the use of mobile phones over the dinner table and the parental units indulging in one too many “eggnogs”. No surprises there then. You may laugh, but unfortunately this Christmas tradition has serious implications for many people and I’m not talking about burnt turkeys. The police forces are saying that this year they expect the number of domestic violence incidents to increase for the fourth year in a row! As a result specialist staff will be on duty over Christmas and New Year to deal with the reported incidents. So what can we do to avoid confrontations this season? Here are some helpful tips on how to survive this Christmas. 1. Be generous. Always offer to help with shopping/cooking and make sure you get everyone a present they will actually like. 2. Keep your cool: if someone provokes you, take deep breaths and remember- just a few more days! 3. Try to keep busy. I don’t mean do your holiday reading/revision. You have January for that. Just try and see friends, go for brisk walks, whatever works. 4. Don’t drink too much. Inebriation does not equal tolerance nor does it make you good company. For more information please visit drinkaware.co.uk 5. Avoid controversial topics of conversation. 6. Don’t hide in your room, anti-social behaviour will not endear you to your family. 7. Try to suggest things you can do as a family. 8. Monopoly = No 9. God gave us Catch-Up. Do not hog the television. 10. Go to Heathrow Airport. That’s what Hugh Grant does. Realise that love, actually, is, all around. Madeleine Rodgers

single life

You may think that the Christmas scene was designs for couples, for them to parade their cosiness and remind you of the fact that you are de�initely still single. On the contrary; despite what you may think, singletons should be counting their blessings at this frenzied time of the year. Your �irst cause for celebration is the gift situation. You can look at this one of two ways: either make yourself feel miserable by thinking of the fact that there will be no perfect present waiting under your tree from that special someone. Alternatively you can thank your lucky stars that you get to avoid the ‘Aw thanks darling this is perfect, you know me so well’ as you wonder whether the gift you have received is the result of some awful mix up and his gran is currently sporting that gorgeous Topshop necklace you pointed out every time you were in town together. Secondly, being single is good for the pocket and for the soul; you don’t have the stress or the crippling debt that goes with trying to �ind your other half the perfect gift that will just scream ‘Look how much I love you’ or at least beat whatever they’ve got you. Thirdly, there is opportunity. The Christmas party season is the perfect time to put yourself out there and meet new people. Also, with the copious amount of alcohol consumed over the next few weeks, there is no excuse not to go over and talk to that person you’ve had your eye on for the last 11 months of the year. With the perfect combination of mistletoe and wine, how can it go wrong? However, remember, ‘putting yourself out there’ after a few drinks must not be confused with just plain putting out. Regardless of the above you must admit that at Christmas, you can’t ignore how cosy the concept of coupleness looks. Yet there’s no point dwelling, whether you are single by default or through a positive choice to be so, celebrate the fact that you are completely in charge of what you do this Christmas. Whether you are newly single or feel like you have been ‘single since the dawn of time’, whatever you do this Christmas be careful not to go to the two extremes of singleness. You don’t want to be the one forcing people under the mistletoe, but neither do you want to be the sad kid in the corner singing ‘Last Christmas’ into an empty glass of mulled wine. Shanna Lennon

exam stress Whether you’re one of those people who works a lot during the holiday or just leaves everything to the last minute, here you’ll �ind all the tricks to cope with the stress before January exams without giving up a good Christmas holiday. First of all, if you still have hundreds of books to read, essays to write and notes to study, start planning now! It’s the only way to avoid dying of stress during those weeks and make sure you don’t miss out on anything you friends are doing. Second, remember that you need to sleep. Late night cramming sessions are never successful: your brain needs those sleeping hours to process all the information you’ve read. Third, you are the person that knows yourself best. If your brain says ‘Stop working now’, you know how useless it is to read that page again. Switch your mind off for a while with a �ilm or a chat with friends. This will help you to keep going. Did I say that you need to sleep? Ok, but not on the books. Coffee, coke, or whatever you think works with you will be your second best friend during the exams period. But forget about having caffeine pills or stupid things like that. Making separate notes, cards or diagrams is always great. It’s not just because the amount of paper is considerably less, which always makes you feel much better, but because it makes it easier for you to remember huge amounts of information if you have them in a more visual way. For this, using different colours to write and highlighters always helps. Next, try to calm your nerves before an exam. Being hysterical doesn’t help anybody. After all, if you know that you haven’t studied enough and it’s your fault, it’s too late to cry about it and the only thing you can do is pray that you´re lucky. If you have studied, don’t worry, the information will come to you as soon as you start relaxing. And �inally, reward yourself for all your hard work. Go out for a meal with friends, waste a little time on your sofa or eat tons of chocolate. After all, you deserve it! Naiara Reig

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

Making the perfect Christmas dinner

(or as perfect as it can get on a student budget)

specialxmas Meat

Turkey may be the traditional Christmas offering, but, let’s be honest - if the parents aren’t buying it’s not going to happen (and it probably wont �it in the oven anyway). You can grab two medium chickens in Asda for £7, or, if Gosforth is a bit too far, Tesco’s are only £4 anyway.

Pigs in blankets are essential, obviously. Prewrapped sausages often provide a cheaper (and yet easier) option. Asda 15 sausages wrapped in bacon £2.50 or Tesco 12 sausages wrapped in bacon for £2 Stuf�ing: Personal choice between balls and squares Asda’s own Sage and Onion stuf�ing £0.60 or Tesco’s own Sage and Onion stuf�ing £0.60

Given the student living oven practicalities it’s inevitable you’re going to have to cook this meal in shifts. Cook the meat earlier as you can always warm it up in the microwave - although if your gravy is hot enough you probably wont notice anyway.

Prep

Gravy

Peel and cut all the vegetables before you start and put them in pans full of water so they stay fresh.

When all your veg are boiling away nicely and potatoes crisping it is time to begin the gravy (one of the most important parts of the meal). Drain the chicken fat out of the roast tin into a smaller pan, add in 3 chicken cubes and cheat a little bit by adding in some chicken gravy granules. For a festive treat (only if you can save some) pour in some white wine, mix all these ingredients together with a good helping of boiled water.

If you are having cauli�lower cheese make the dish up and put it in the fridge Be prepared: laying out your stuf�ing and sausages earlier on will prevent any panic later on when you’re trying to juggle four sets of over boiling vegetables.

Puddings To make life simpler and cheaper buying puddings is the best way to end your Christmas meal. Chocolate Log: Asda £1.50, Tesco £1.15

Small Christmas Cake: Asda £5, Tesco £3 Mince Pies (6) (6): Asda £1.50, Tesco £1

Drinks With the festive season upon us there are drinks offers everywhere.

Wine: Asda: 3 bottles for £10 Tesco: 3 bottles for £12 Mulled Wine: Asda £2. 48 Tesco £3.09 Baileys: Asda £10 Tesco £15

After Eights: Asda £1, Tesco £1

Perfect Roast Potatoes Perfect roast potatoes aren’t as hard as you think. 1. Part boil the spuds for 10 minutes while you heat up oil on some baking trays in the oven. 2. After draining the potatoes give them a bash about in the colander to give them �luffy edges. Sprinkle on some plain �lour or semolina powder to give them an added crisp. 3. Tip the potatoes into your trays, be careful as the oil will spit. Then roast them in the oven turning occasionally to make sure they are nice and brown for around an hour to an hour and a half

Veg Grainger market is your one stop shop for all vegetable bargains, but if you can’t cope with the trek home, then all your favourite supermarkets are doing great offers on whatever veg you could wish for. Veg is easy but it is all about timings, to make your own life easier peel and cut the veg before you begin. Cauli�lower Cheese: When the potatoes have been in for around 50 minutes- an hour, put your cauli�lower cheese in the oven Carrots: At the same point turn on your carrots, due to the quantity all of the veg will take a bit longer than normal Broccoli: After having the carrots on for 5-10 minutes put the broccoli onto boil

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

fashionstyling

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk

Party the year away Katie Mcraith, 19, Warrington, 2nd Year English Literature and French

Emma Balter, 20, Paris, 3rd Year English Literature

Dress, £25, Dorothy Perkins

Tall

Katie Robertson, 21, Worcester, 3rd Year History

Dress, £70, River Island

Dress, £46, Topshop

Petite

Leah Wilson, 19, Manchester, 2nd Year Biomedical Sciences

Dress, £46, Topshop

Bust enhancer

Curvy

Earrings, £5, Topshop

Necklace, £14, Topshop

Necklace, £6.99, New Look

Why wear more? These dresses speak for themselves, so you don’t need to overcomplicate things with masses of jewellery.

Tights, £10, River Island

Ring, £7.50, Topshop

Earrings, £10, Topshop

Ring, £12.50, Topshop

Shoes, £25, Dorothy Perkins

If you have height on your side, it’s sometimes hard to �ind dresses that are long enough. This red number from Dorothy Perkins is the perfect length - it’s not so short it looks like it shrunk in the wash, but it still shows off your enviable pins. It also keeps your proportions even, something many tall girls have problems with. Girls as tall as Katie might not want to wear stilettos, so these are a vintage-looking alternative.

If you’re petite, it’s important to �ind a party dress that doesn’t drown you- this Topshop number is perfect. Furthermore, the bright colour makes you stand out without being overwhelming. Too much fussy detailing should be steered clear of - a small amount of drapery, like here, is just enough, and looks extremely glamorous. A long pendant, such as this one, gives the illusion of an elongated frame.

For those wanting to gain a few cup sizes without going under the knife, look no further. This River Island dress has fussy, feathered detailing on the bust, giving the illusion of a larger chest. Dresses or tops with a busy top half are always best for ladies wanting to enhance their bust, and luckily for them, the high street is full of such designs. This dress is so busy, a chunky ring is all that’s needed to complete the look.

For curvy girls, skater dresses are the way forward. They nip you in at the waist and skirt �latteringly over your hips, creating the perfect hourglass �igure. This dress is the perfect party dress, as the black is endlessly �lattering, and the sequins catch the light, making you twinkle like the star on top of your Christmas tree. Team with suspender tights to make your legs look sky-high.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

stylingfashion

Fashion Editor: Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor: Rosanna Sopp

Bring in 2012 in style with our guide to the best fancy frocks to ﬁt your ﬁgure. Don’t forget to team with sophisticated heels and some season must-have bling and you’ll be guaranteed a kiss before midnight even strikes... Rosanna Sopp, 20, Buckinghamshire, 3rd Year Classical Studies

Katie Robertson, 21, Worcester, 3rd Year History

Chevonne Bryan, 20, Lincolnshire, 3rd Year Physiology

Accessorize The essentials

Online Fashion Editor Rosanna Sopp brings you the ultimate guide to choosing a festive dress for Christmas and New Year’s Eve 2011 Mary Janes, £19.99, New Look

s of wo pairded to t e s e h T d e an be a shoes che out�its; nudr legs any of t ntly make you-bars sta ck T heels in nger, and bla re a modo a l look hunky heel ashionf with a cnd extremely tradie a h ern ist on t able tw al black heel. tion Wedges, £24.99 (reduced to £10), New Look

Dress, £39.99, New Look

Big Bust

Bangles, £15, River Island

Dress, £20, New Look

Creating curves

Regal gift These bangles are ﬁt for any Queen which is why they’re top of our list of stocking ﬁllers

Finding a party dress that �its a large bust is tricky. This dress has a low waistband to allow for the most buxom bosom and the neckline is extremely �lattering, despite the fact that many with large chests shy away from cuts this high. For those with bigger busts, dresses with a nipped-in waist are a must - they minimise your waist, instead of something baggy which hangs off your chest and drowns your curves.

Dress, £65, Miss Selfridge

Lengthen legs

Bracelet, £12.50, Dorothy Perkins Bangle, £4.50, New Look

Necklace, £12.50, Dorothy Perkins

Dresses with a full, puf�ball or tulip skirt are perfect for creating curves - they show off your naturally small waist, whilst giving the illusion of curvier hips. This little number is particularly festive; the sparkled waistband adds a glamorous touch. These accessories are perfect - they include the colour of the dress, as well as adding other splashes of colour to the ensemble.

Earrings, £4.99, New Look

This dress from Miss Selfridge is perfect if you don’t feel con�ident enough to bare your pins. It skims a few inches past your knees, and when teemed with high heels, shows off the slimmest part of your legs. The gorgeous embellishment on the chest draws attention away from your bottom half. If you’re looking for something longer, both Miss Selfridge and New Look do super-�lattering metallic maxi dresses.

Don’t forget! A black clu tch

is the icin cake for a perfect pa g on the rty out�it. This croco dile skin c lu from Rive r Island is tch a perfect option Clutch, £25, River Island

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

tvxmas

thecourieronline.co.uk/tvandradio c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk TV Editors: Sophia Fairhead and Nicole Stevenson

Holiday Highlights Great Expectations

The BBC has undertaken a new three-part adaptation of his classic Great Expectations to celebrate the bicentenary of Dicken’s birth. BBC1, December 27, 28 and 29th, 9pm Make sure you’re armed with a full stomach and a roaring �ire before you sink into the terrifying and gritty opening scene: a dark, cold and terrifying graveyard. The plot follows the life of Pip (Oscar Kennedy), whose early destiny is to follow his brother-in-law as a blacksmith’s apprentice. However, a chance encounter with Magwitch, an escaped convict, changes his life and his prospects forever. Pip �irst strays from the path of his humble life as he is invited to Satis House, the residence of terrifying Miss Havisham (Gillian Anderson), a jilted spinster who surrounds herself in the decaying remnants of her wedding day, as well as her charge, the beautiful but cold Estella. He promptly falls in love with Estella but, for the �irst time, feels the shame in his humble upbringing. Salvation seems to be offered when he inherits a large fortune from an anonymous benefactor which will allow him to ful�il his ‘Great Expectations’ in life and to rise up to a class more suitable for marriage to Estella. However, the protagonist’s path does not run as smoothly as he would hope as Dickens’ plot reveals complex twists and obstacles to be overcome.W Playing the iconic character of Magwitch is Ray Winstone, who admits to having been scared as a child by Finlay Currie’s Magwitch in the 1946 adaptation of the novel. To him the opening scene represents a child’s fear of “someone coming out of the dark, the kind of thing you have nightmares about”. Admittedly, the plot isn’t exactly ‘feel-good’, but it is undoubtedly dramatic, exciting and complex. Viewers this Christmas can expect to sink their teeth into escape scenes, shunned love, social ambition, and violence - all from the comfort of your sofa.

Agatha Christie’s Poirot Boxing Day, 9pm, ITV1

Midsomer Murders Boxing Day, 3.55pm, ITV3

Whether it’s Human Cluedo, real Cluedo, iPad Cluedo, or wink murder round the table after a boozy meal, everyone loves a good murder mystery around Christmas time. It just wouldn’t be complete without David Suchet in your living room. In the brand new adaptation of Agatha Christie’s The Clocks, he returns as Hercule Poirot, the infamous Belgian detective, to solve the mystery of two dead navy of�icials, and the murder of a middle-aged man killed in his sitting room surrounded by four clocks, frozen on the same time. The plot thickens as yet another innocent victim is taken and Poirot has to coolhandedly extricate the murderer from a web of emotional women, misguided Lieutenants, burgeoning attachments and German moles. What more could one want from a Christmas Murder Mystery?

It’s amazing that there are any inhabitants left in Midsomer after almost 14 years of murders, suicide and revenge. However, this year is no exception and DCI Tom Barnaby (John Nettles) will be back on the scene to investigate a Christmas-themed mystery in the Villiers household. It starts with a prediction in a cracker that two people will die before midnight on Boxing Day and, sure enough, Lydia Villiers falls down the stairs - or was she pushed? The family is haunted by the suicide of their relative Ferdy Villiers, a magician, and as the murder investigation begins, Barnaby will have to uproot the past and overcome some magic sleights of hand to help him solve the case.

Made in Chelsea December 19, Channel 4

It seems a long time to wait until January for our Monday nights to be once again dazzled with the haute couture, haute credit and haute catastrophe of the glamorous goings-on in Chelsea. That’s why they have brought us Christmas. From the comfort of our living rooms (and a safe distance from Millie Mackintosh’s drink-throwing hand), we will be watching the lives of people having far wilder and more decadent festivities than our own. They even stray as far from their homeland as Lapland, but no doubt scandal runs as high in Santa’s grotto as it does in SW1. Come on Spaggie!

The Only Way is Essexmas December 20, 10pm, ITV2

Sports Personality of the Year 2011 December 22nd, BBC1, 8pm

A Royal Year to Remember. December 30, 9pm ITV

Do we want to see that dress again? Always. This is why we’ll be watching A Royal Year to Remember, which documents the two royal weddings of 2011: Waity Katey and Wills, and Zara Philips and rugby ex-captain Mike Tindall. Alan Titchmarsh goes behind the scenes of the Queen’s state visit to Ireland to see how preparations are going for the

Since the release of the cast’s charity rendition of ‘Last Christmas’, our appetites have been whet for a delightfully tacky TOWIE Christmas. Doubtless the Champagne will match the frosty winter temperatures, but a little sunshine will come through our screens as we are relieved to see that the girls’ stubborn tans have miraculously not faded since Marbs. We can’t wait to see the repercussions of Joey and Jess’s kiss, Arg’s upcoming regal birthday party and even a trip to see Father Christmas. Reem. If we can’t make it to Sugar Hut for a glass of Crystal, we will certainly be putting fake nails and eyelashes on our stocking �iller list. Maybe they will bump into their Chelsea counterparts while wandering in a winter wonderland!

Sue Barker, Gary Lineker and Jake Humphrey help the nation choose from the following nominees: Mark Cavendish, Luke Donald, Amir Khan, Andrew Strauss, Darren Clarke, Mo Farah, Rory McIlroy, Andy Murray, Dai Greene and Alastair Cooke.

Don’t miss! The Borrowers

Boxing Day 7.30pm BBC1 This Christmas, BBC1 brings us the return of a much-loved children’s classic. A twenty-�irst century adaptation of Mary Norton’s fantasy novels sees a fresh take on the little people’s world beneath our �loorboards, and their quest to ‘borrow’ items whilst remaining anonymous. The plot follows the curious teenage Borrower Arriety Clock (Aisling Loftus), whose determination to discover the upstairs ‘human beans’ leads her parents Pod (Chris Eccleston) and Homily (Sharon Horgan) Clock to despair. Arriety’s decision to venture beyond her enclosed habitat, and develop a friendship with James who lives in the house above, soon becomes dangerous for the Borrowers, when their world is discovered by James’ grandmother. Hereafter, the Clocks’ lives are turned upside down as they endeavour to escape the dangers which they will have to confront - in particular, the evil Professor Mildeye, played by the infamous Stephen Fry. Once a highly academic scientist, Professor Mildeye, who, like James’ grandmother knows about the Borrowers’ existence, has his soul set on capturing and unveiling their true identity. When he does capture Homily and Pod Clock, the question is, who will go that extra mile to rescue them and become Arriety’s protagonist? Will it be James the ‘human bean’ or Spiller, the leather-jacketed tearaway who has a soft spot for Arriety? Or will they both be heroic in returning the Clock family to their home before Christmas? This family classic is not one to be missed, so shotgun the best sofa in the house for an undoubtedly entertaining 90-minute adventure, which will leave you wanting more!

Kirstina Gordon-Macleod

Somethin THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

xmastv

Christmas Day crackers Downton Abbey,

Christmas Day, 9pm, ITV1

We can’t wait for one of Maggie Smith’s frosty lines to warm us up this winter! Set in 1919, we can indulge our fantasies in a very aristocratic Christmas: shooting parties in the frosted parkland, gowns for all occasions, a servant’s ball, a lavish Christmas party. However, this is Downton, and with its (slightly unrealistic) upstairs/downstairs relationships, the arrest of Mr Bates and the unspoken magnetism between Mary and Cousin Matthews, we can anticipate a gripping evening fraught with tension and drama.

If you liked this, you will also like Downton Abbey: Behind the Drama, featuring the actors discussing their parts, and behind the scene views of Hichclere Castle. Wednesday December 21, 7.30pm

About a Boy: Comedy in which Hugh Grant strikes up an unlikely friendship with a geeky schoolboy. ITV1, December 17, 1.15pm

Doctor Who: The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe Christmas Day, 7pm, BBC1

Avid fans of the yearly Doctor Who Christmas Special will be anticipating writer Stephen Moffat’s latest idea as he takes on C.S. Lewis’s The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe and transforms it into a sci-�i winter wonderland set in the Second World War. Madge Arwell (Claire Skinner) and her two children are evacuated to a decrepit country house where they are met by an eccentric caretaker and shown a mysterious blue present awaiting them under the Christmas tree. They are transported into a magical new world where Madge learns that wishes really do come true at Christmas.

Absolutely Fabulous Christmas Day, 10pm, BBC1

Patsy and Eddy are back and it’s bound to be fabulous, dahling. Celebrating their 20th anniversary, the BBC will show three 30-minute episodes, with the �irst set to lighten up our Christmas evening. Bringing with them the 90s, we get a fashion-proof, recession-proof time warp. Credit crunch darling? What credit crunch? However, Eddy is not going to miss out on the latest fads: a short preview shows Eddy, (clad in double-denim) and new assistant Bubble (over 60) clued-up on ‘tweeting’ and ‘blogging’ on an iPad. All is not lost. As if Joanna Lumley and Jennifer Saunders weren’t enough of a gruesome twosome to entertain us, it seems it’s turning into a bit of a celeb party with appearances from Stella McCartney and Emma Bunton. Get ready for this sweetie.

Films for the festive period Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: For those who didn’t receive the boxset for Christmas. ITV1, December 17, 6.35pm Forgetting Sarah Marshall: Break-up comedy starring Mila Kunis, Russell Brand and Jason Segel. ITV2 Saturday 17, 9pm

Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special Christmas Day, BBC1

Expect a star-spangled Christmas day as 5 celebrities don their dancing shoes and hit the dance�loor: Blue’s Simon Webbe; comedienne Debra Stephenson; Hi-De-Ho’s Su Pollard; Eastenders actress Charlie Brook; and heavyweight boxer Barry McGuigan.

The Boat That Rocked: Comedy set on a pirate radio station stars hilarious Bill Nighy. ITV1, Saturday 20, 10.05pm

Tomorrow Never Dies: 007 has less than 48 hours to prevent World War III, where for the �irst time, the Bond Girl, Wai Lin, is his partner. ITV1, December 22, 10.35pm

Ice Age 2: The Meltdown: adventure of the mismatched loyal trio, Manny, Sid and Diego. ITV2 December 23, 6.15pm Spartacus: an epic �ilm documenting the battle following the Slave revolt of PreImperial Rome ITV1, Christmas Eve, 2.10am

Miracle on 34th Street: Old children’s festive classic for a trip down memory lane. ITV1, Christmas Day, 11am

The Towering Inferno: Classic drama, victims at a Christmas party escape a �ire in a skyscraper. ITV1, Christmas Day, 1.35am Gladiator: oscar-winning legend of the Roman Emperor’s revenge and brutal battles. ITV1, Boxing Day, 10.15pm

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: J.K.R.’s second adeventure in the sequel about the boy who lived. ITV1, Boxing Day, 3.30pm American Gangster: Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe star in this tough crime drama. ITV4, December 27, 11pm Scarface: Al Pacino stars in this crime thriller about drugs and violence. ITV1, December 29, 2.35am Notting Hill: Classic Hugh. ITV1, December 29, 10.15pm

listings12th-18thDec Monday

University Carol Concert

5.30-6.30pm St Thomas’ Church, Haymarket

A seasonal selection of carols and readings organised by the Chaplaincy, with a student choir and the University Wind Band. www.ncl.ac.uk/students/chaplaincy

Tuesday

Wednesday

For the �irst time ever, the West End and Broadway sensation, 2011 Olivier Award winner (Best New Musical) and winner of Best New Musical at the Whatsonstage.com awards, Legally Blonde The Musical goes on tour. Based on the hit movie starring Reese Witherspoon. www.sunderlandempire.org.uk

Thursday

Student Performance Street Nativity

Once again World Headquarters will be shaking with the sounds of the Itchy Feet DJs in both rooms. As always, there will be an abundance of Itchy Feet tunes to jump and jive to, along with the usual distinctive mix of Jump Blues, Rock n’ Roll, Soul, Swing, Reggae and Ska. www.welovewhq.com

Here is your chance to enjoy a range of truly inspiring live performances by some of the top student musicians in the region - all three year groups of the BMus (Hons) Jazz Popular and Commercial Music degree - delivered at The Sage Gateshead. Ten student ensembles perform both original and covered material, including pop, rock and jazz, over two nights in our intimate 450-seat Hall Two venue. www.thesagegateshead.org

11pm World Headquarters

7pm (Wed/Thurs) The Sage, Gateshead

7pm Culture Lab, Newcastle University

7.30pm (December 6-31) Sunderland Empire

thecourieronline.co.uk/listings c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk

Itchy Feet @ WHQ

What Would Jesus Buy? Legally Blonde

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

Christmas special event: Dr Matt Davies and free mince pies! From producer Morgan Spurlock (Supersize Me) and director Rob VanAlkemade comes a serious docu-comedy about the commercialization of Christmas. Bill Talen (aka Reverend Billy) was a lost idealist who hitchhiked to New York City only to �ind that Times Square was becoming a mall. Spurred on by the loss of his neighbourhood and inspired by the sidewalk preachers around him, Bill bought a collar to match his white caterer’s jacket, bleached his hair and became the Reverend Billy of the Church of Stop Shopping. Guest speaker: Dr Matt Davies. Doors open: 18:00. Admission: Free, but suggested donation £1.

5.30pm Northumberland Street There will be a Street Nativity on Northumberland Street at 5.30pm on Thursday 15th December 2011, starting at Newcastle Civic Centre. The Street Nativity is organised by the Central Deanery of Newcastle Diocese.

The Stand Christmas Special 7.30pm The Stand Comedy Club

It’s time to get in the Christmas spirit. Forget wearing paper hats and eating over-priced turkey – instead come and get some Christmas cheer from the very best comics from the UK and beyond. With Michael Smiley, Simon Donald, and Paul McCaffrey. Hosted by Susan Morrison. Tickets £10. www.thestand.co.uk

Puzzles

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

You can ﬁnd the answer s to this week’s pu thecou zzles at rieronli ne. co.uk/p uzzles

Christmas Toys Wordsearch The predictions for this year’s most desirable toys have been released by the Toy Retailers Association. They are all shown here on Santa’s list and your job is to ﬁnd them all in the grid below.

12 Days of Christmas Do you know the 12 days of Christmas? Test your knowledge with this quiz by arranging the list into the correct order.

12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 And a Maids a milking Calling Birds Drummers drumming Ladies dancing French Hens Gold Rings

Swans a Swimming Pipers Piping Turtle Doves Geese a laying Lords a Leaping Partridge in a Pear Tree

Catchword Complete these common catchphrases to ﬁll in the crossword- good luck!

Across 1. Agony ___ (4) 3. Aided and ___ (7) 8. ___ charge (5) 9. Light as a ___ (7) 11. As a last ___ (6) 12. Devil-may- ___ (4) 14. Full of ___ (5) 16. Straight from the horses’s ___ (5) 20. A pack of ___ (4) 21. ___ - songwriter (6) 24. ___ - clear (7) 25. ___ and tested (5) 26. Drown your ___ (7) 27. Bright- ___ and bushy-tailed (4) Down 1. The ___ circle (6) 2. Better late than ___ (5) 4. ___ and after (6) 5. Wear and ___ (4) 6. Past, ___ and future (7) 7. ___ with envy (5) 10. Home is where the ___ is (5) 13. An elephant never ___ (7) 15. Public ___ No1 (5) 17. A chip off the old ___ (5) 18. ___ - ﬁght (6) 19. ___ camera (6) 22. Save it for a ___ day (5) 23. ___ - spangled banner (4)

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

puzzles

Sudoku

Easy

thecourieronline.co.uk/puzzles c2.puzzles@ncl.ac.uk Puzzles Editor: Laura Armitage

Yule Logs Using a little LOGic (Christmas is the only acceptable time for bad jokes!), can you work out which number should replace the question mark in the grid?

Medium

Hard

Shape Up Each of the different shapes below has a numerical value. The numbers to the right of the grid are the sum of each row and the numbers at the bottom are the sum of each column. Can you work out the value of each shape? No shape has a value less than 1. Enter the solution into the empty grid. value less than 1. Enter the solution into the empty grid.

Logic Puzzle Four angels sat on the Christmas tree amidst other ornaments. Two had blue halos and two had yellow. However, none of them could see above his head. Angel A sat on the top branch and could see Angels B and C, who sat below him. Angel B, could see Angel C who sat on the lower branch. And Angel D stood at the base of the tree obscured from view by a thicket of branches, so no one could see him and he could not see anyone either. Which one of them could be the ďŹ rst to guess the colour of his halo and speak it out loud for all the other angels to hear?

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

Christmas Quiz 1. Who got to Number 2 in 1984 with ‘Last Christmas’? 2. What did Band Aid’s ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’ ask us to do this Christmas time? 3. Who sang the Christmas classic ‘Stop the Cavalry’? 4. What was Bing Crosby ‘dreaming of’ in 1942? 5. What is the name of the song released in 1987 by The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl? 6. Name the artist - ‘Are you hanging up your stocking on the wall? It’s the time that every Santa has a ball’ 7. Gary Glitter said we were going to have ‘Another _ _ _ _/_ _ _/_ _ _ _ Christmas’ 8. In 2004, ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’ was re-released to raise money for Darfur. Three of the original artists contributed their vocals to the single: Bono, Paul McCartney and who else? 9. How did Chris Rea get home for Christmas in 1988? 10. Who was ‘Lonely This Christmas’? 11. Cliff Richard sung of _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ and wine in 1988 12. Which spoof band, originating from a children’s TV programme, wished us a Merry Christmas in 1974? 13. Aled Jones’ ‘Walking in the Air’ became the song featured in the animated ﬁlm of which children’s book? 14. What did Mariah Carey want for Christmas in 1994?

puzzles Crossword Across

1. Agony ___ (4) 3. Aided and ___ (7) 8. ___ charge (5) 9. Light as a ___ (7) 11. As a last ___ (6) 12. Devil-may- ___ (4) 14. Full of ___ (5) 16. Straight from the horse’s ___ (5) 20. A pack of ___ (4) 21. ___ - songwriter (6) 24. ___ - clear (7) 25. ___ and tested (5) 26. Drown your ___ (7) 27. Bright- ___ and bushytailed (4)

Down

1. The ___ circle (6) 2. Better late than ___ (5) 4. ___ and after (6) 5. Wear and ___ (4) 6. Past, ___ and future (7) 7. ___ with envy (5) 10. Home is where the ___ is (5) 13. An elephant never ___ (7) 15. Public ___ No1 (5) 17. A chip off the old ___ (5) 18. ___ - ﬁght (6) 19. ___ camera (6) 22. Save it for a ___ day (5) 23. ___ - spangled banner (4)

15. David Essex said it was ‘Only a Winter’s _ _ _ _’ in 1982

Word Link

16. What did Mel and Kim ‘rock around’ in 1987? 17. Whose ‘day’ did Cliff Richard sing about in 1990?

Find a word that connects the three words shown below:

18. What was Bo Selecta’s Christmas hit of 2003? 19. Who wished it could be Christmas ‘everyday’? 20. Which Christmas song has been sung by Madonna?

Sudoku Same concept as a traditional Sudoku, but with a Christmas twist! Solve this puzzle to ensure that each square, horizontal and vertical row contains each letter from the seasonal phrase FIRST NOEL. Good luck!

Lever

Head

Top

Citizen

Partner

Service

Target

Room

Baby

Night

Name

Aid

Word Perfect How many words of four, ﬁve or six letters can you make from the word TINSEL? No plurals or proper nouns allowed, and no letter may be used more than once in an individual word. Apart from TINSEL itself, I have found 25 different words, but 20 should be your aim.

Puzzles

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

You can ﬁnd the answer s to this week’s pu thecou zzles at riero co.uk/p nline. uzzles

Logic Puzzle: The Trophy Cabinet Fielding College has a ﬁne history of sporting achievement and a number of its major trophies are proudly displayed in the cabinet below. Can you match the position of each trophy (1-9) with the sport it was awarded for and the year it was won? YOU NEED TO RECORD THE POSITION OF THE TROPHY, ITS SPORT AND ITS DATE TO COMPLETE THE PUZZLE. Years: 1982 1984 1986 1987 1992 1994 1995 1996 1999 1. The rowing trophy was won ten years earlier than the football trophy and both are in opposite diagonal corners. 2. The tennis trophy is right of and immediately next to the trophy won in 1995 which is directly above the trophy won for athletics in 1996. 3. The rugby trophy is immediately next to and left of the cricket trophy which is in the opposite diagonal corner to the trophy won ten years later. 4. The hockey trophy was won four years later than the swimming trophy and both are on the same shelf but not immediately next to each other. 5. The gymnastics trophy (won ﬁve years earlier than the one immediately above it) is immediately next to the trophy won two years later.

Christmas Films Quiz 1. What happened on 34th street in 1947? 2. The 2006 Christmas film ‘The Holiday’ stars Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law and who else? 3. Which 1946 film, starring James Stewart and Donna Reed, has become a Christmas classic? 4. Which horror/comedy film sees an inventor’s present of a pet to his son go horribly wrong? 5. Which actor played the starring role in ‘Elf’ in 2003? 6. What is the name of the elf Dudley Moore played in ‘Santa Claus: The Movie’? 7. What is 2011’s Christmas release that exposes Santa’s high tech operations at the North Pole? 8. Which film saw a young boy’s father reincarnated as a snowman after dying in a car crash? 9. What is the name of the detective played by Bruce Willis in ‘Die Hard’? 10. Who played Scrooge in ‘A Muppets Christmas Carol’? 11. Who stole Christmas? 12. Which rom-com follows the lives of eight couples in the month before Christmas? 13. What is the name of Santa Claus’ bitter older brother played by Vince Vaughn? 14. What is the name of the main character in the 1990 comedy ‘Home Alone’? 15. Who is the main character in Tim Burton’s ‘A Nightmare Before Christmas’? 16. What is the name of the magical train heading for the North Pole on Christmas Eve? 17. Which 2003 Christmas film saw Billy Bob Thornton as the title character? 18. Whose ‘Christmas Vacation’ was it in 1989? 19. Which holiday film tells the story of Ralphie Parker pulling out all the stops to obtain the ultimate Christmas present? 20. What is the name of the film starring Bill Murray that offers a modern retelling of Charles Dicken’s ‘A Christmas Carol’?

Riddle You will know that I am coming From the jingle of my bell, But exactly who I am is not an easy thing to tell. Children, they adore me for they ﬁnd me jolly, but I do not see them when the halls are decked with holly. My job often leaves me frozen, I am a man that all should know, But I do not do business in times of sleet or ice or snow. I travel much on business, But no reindeer haul me around, I do all my travelling ﬁrmly on the ground. I love the time of Christmas, But that’s not my vocational season, And I assure that is because of a sound economic reason.

Anagrams

Unscramble these letters to ﬁnd 10 traditional Christmas carols. YEAMAIWANGAN (2 words) TINSLIGEHNT (2 words) CLMOYLAOFUTAEFELH (5 words) ROCDVCYIYANIOLITSAND (5 words) GNMRLDOIHGIONDRNIHG (5 words) KGWODCNSAOGNIELE (3 words) LDEKTCHSALEH (3 words) YNTEHLHIYHOLDTVEA (5 words) ENTILEDYKOLT (2 words) DWYJOHTROELTO (4 words)

Christmas Cracker Each letter A-Z is represented by a random number between 1 and 26. Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once. .

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

12th-18thDeclistings

C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson

Friday Seminar: Mitigating the impacts of offshore renewables on vertebrates 12-2pm Research Beehive, Room 2.21

marineNewcastle invite you to a lunchtime seminar and discussion exploring offshore renewables and marine mammals and birds, exploring the potential impacts and mitigation of those impacts. There will be introductory talks covering some of the main issues associated with assessing and mitigating impacts of offshore renewables on vertebrates presented by: Dr Mark Whittingham (Biology): Effects of wind turbines on terrestrial birds, Dr Richard Bevan (Biology): Potential impacts of wind turbines and tidal power schemes on seabirds, Dr Per Bergren (Marine Science and Technology): Marine mammals and offshore renewables – potential impacts and mitigation, Professor Guiyun Tian (Electrical, Electronic and Computer Engineering): Electromagnetic Sensors and Monitoring for Offshore Energy Applications. The seminar session will be followed by a buffet lunch. www.ncl.ac.uk/marinenewcastle

Quo Festive 7.30pm Metro Radio Arena

Quo Festive featuring Status Quo, Roy Wood and Kim Wilde. The Status Quo ‘QuoFest’ set will feature the �irst airings of some of the new material, but of course the band will blast out a slew of massive hits from that amazing catalogue of classics. www.metroradioarena.com

Something for the weekend Bootleg Beatles

Friendly Fires

The most successful and longest-running Beatles tribute band The Bootleg Beatles are hitting Newcastle City Hall this weekend. If you’re a big fan, this is an opportunity not to be missed! Tickets from £16. www.newcastlecityhall.co.uk

After releaseing their second album, Pala, the calypso indie dance band return to Newcastle this month. Grab your Hawaiian shirts and maracas! Tickets from £16. www.o2academynewcastle.co.uk

Sat 8pm Newcastle City Hall

Duran Duran

Sat 7pm Gateshead Old Town Hall

Betty D’light and Chaz Royal, the renowned producer of the London Burlesque Festival bring you a night of saucy antics, sexy sideshows and stunts and Vaudeville Variety. Tickets £12.50.

The Revolutionaries Sun 3pm The Tyne Bar

Free gig at Newcastle’s best-kept secret gig venue, The Tyne Bar. Warm up with some real ales and some ‘Tyne Bites’ including sarnies, toasties, salads and burgers. www.thetyne.com

Something for Christmas

An extra-special evening in the Edwardian Town and Pit Village offering the chance to experience Georgian twelfth night celebrations at Pockerley Old Hall. Indulge yourself with roasted chestnuts, mulled wine and traditional entertainment. Take a turn on the Ice Rink and visit Father Christmas in his magical �ireside grotto. www.beamish.org.uk

WHQ’s weekend resident Tom will be dropping all his festive favourites in the last big show before Boxing Day & New Year’s Eve. Playing the best selection of rare Xmas tunes from artists like James Brown, Aretha, BB King - not a cheesy Slade record in sight. www.welovewhq.com

December 23, 11pm World Headquarters

Christmas Movies at Monument

Monument, Newcastle

The movies on show on the outdoor screen are getting Christmassy! Check out these �ilms: Thursday December 15 12 Noon White Christmas (U) 3pm White Christmas (U) 5:30pm Elf (PG)

Email c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk with all the details and any photos you have by Monday 12pm of the week before the issue you want to feature in.

The Hootchy Kootchy Roadshow

Simon Le Bon has recovered from his ‘vocal problems’ and the band are ready to grace us with their prescence! Tickets are available online or from the box of�ice from £30. www.metroradioarena.com

Xmas Eve’s Eve Party

Do you want your event in listings?

Sun 7pm O2 Academy Newcastle

Sat 6.30pm Metro Radio Arena

Beamish Christmas Evenings 4-9pm

Tuesday December 20 12 Noon A Christmas Carol (PG) 3pm A Christmas Carol (PG) 5:30pm National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (PG)

Thursday December 22 12 Noon Miracle on 34th Street (U) (1947) 3pm Miracle on 34th Street (U) (1947) 5:30pm The Snowman (U)

The Star And Shadow Cinema’s Christmas Live Music ‘All Dayer’ December 23 5pm-12am Star and Shadow Cinema

The Star & Shadow Cinema presents a Christmas ‘all dayer’ of live music (5 pm - 12 midnight) featuring: Richard Dawson, Pale Man Made, Black�lower, Beauty Pageant, Retriever, Waskerley Way and Cath & Phil Tyler. £6 advance / £7 pounds on the door. Advance tickets: www.wegottickets.com/ event/143753 www.starandshadowcinema.org

The Big Christmas Night Out December 19-23 7.30pm The Stand Comedy Club

It’s time to get in the Christmas spirit and laugh your way into the holiday season at Newcastle’s favourite comedy club. With Gavin Webster, Damian Clark and Biscuitz. Hosted by Anvil Springstein. Arrive a bit earlier to try our fab pre-theatre menu in the upstairs bistro. www.thestand.co.uk

Special Night of Good Cheer December 23 8pm Tyneside Cinema

Watch It’s A Wonderful Life in the Classic Circle, then enjoy live music from the Maine Street Trio in the Tyneside Bar into the night. Look out for festive food and drink offers in the Tyneside Bar on the night too! Tickets: £16/£15 concessions. www.tynesidecinema.co.uk

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale December 21 8.45pm Tyneside Cinema

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is the perfect alternative Christmas movie for those of you who have had your �ill of Home Alones, Christmas Carols and Wonderful Lives. It’s the eve of Christmas in Northern Finland, and an ‘archaeological’ dig has just unearthed the real Santa Claus. But this particular Santa isn’t one you want coming to town, and when children begin to mysteriously disappear, it’s up to young Poetari and his father Rauno, a reindeer hunter by trade, to stop this evil St. Nick. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is a re-imagining of the most classic of all childhood fantasies, a darkly comic gem soon to be required perennial holiday viewing www.tynesidecinema.co.uk

bestof2011

Top 10 albums

Nicola Roberts

Cinderella’s Eyes

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

the big co Radiohead 9) 9 The King of Limbs

Foo Fighters 8) 8 Wasting Light

Most surprising after the release of Cinderella’s Eyes was the wave of reviews citing the album as a surprising source of original and gripping pop. Logically, this breakthrough was not a surprise coming from Miss Roberts who combines two great elements: receiving the Oxbridgeequivalent education in making a perfect pop song while being quirky (by quirky, I mean ginger). On top of this, Roberts has lived - unlike the various pixies who fly out of the woods into Simon Cowell’s office and sing about their new curly-toed pair of shoes. Roberts is a pop star with a story to sing about. The chilling ‘Sticks and Stones’ is the track that makes this album. It’s the tale we know: Nicola Roberts, 17, victimized by the press for being quirky (by quirky, I mean, you know, ginger). This song liberates oppressed redheads everywhere, but don’t blame Roberts for the rise of Ed Sheeran, or if Simply Red returns; she is the revolutionary and, like so many great leaders before her, she cannot help the chaos which follows revolution. This is the album Diana Vickers is kicking herself for not producing, and the album Cheryl probably doesn’t ‘get’. Mallory McDonald

The King of Limbs marked another change in direction for a band well known for them. Shifting away from conventional instrumentation, The King of Limbs saw a return to more experimental sounds, influenced by electronica (as seen in the subsequent remix album), as well as maintaining that distinctive Radiohead sound. Phil Selway’s drumming powers the first half of the album, but it is Thom Yorke’s haunting vocals that are the album’s most defining feature. The mix of percussion with rich melodies gives the album its signature sound, driven by a sense of urgency, yet at the same time instilling a sense of calm. The second half of the album, featuring more piano and acoustic guitar, has a slower, more mournful sound, but is still infused with the tension and worry that is the band’s trademark theme. There have been few albums this year which have sounded as original, and The King of Limbs manages to do this whilst staying true to its roots. So, whilst maybe not as accessible as the wildly popular In Rainbows, The King of Limbs is still a great album, well worthy of inclusion on any end of year list. Ben Partridge

Although only being released just over a month ago, Coldplay’s fifth album Mylo Xyloto has secured its place amongst the best albums of the year. The heady, happy feeling created by listening to this album on repeat cements it as yet another achievement for this epic band. Featuring songs such as ‘Major Minus’ with its electronic feeling and a catchy duet with Rihanna on ‘Princess of China’, Coldplay have really developed their style and brought something new to the table, whilst of course not forgetting what made them famous in the first place with tracks like ‘Up In Flames’, which is more reminiscent of their ‘Parachute’ days. The first single released from this album ‘Every Teardrop is a Waterfall’ and the more recent ‘Paradise’ conjure up that holiday feeling (and the surrealist video of elephants probably adds to the magic of it all). For me Mylo Xyloto shows Coldplay going from strength to strength and it seems they have yet to put a foot wrong. And as one of the lucky thousands that have tickets to next year’s tour I can tell you I cannot wait to hear ‘Charlie Brown’ along with the best of them. Cassie Lawrence

Normally I’m sceptical of things that have been hyped past the point of rationality, but I can say that Florence + the Machine’s second album, Ceremonials, is genuinely fantastic. Florence’s versatility and power stretches across all the sounds covered in Ceremonials, from the theatrically spooky ‘Seven Devils’ to the more lighthearted and soul-coated ‘Lover to Lover’, then to the tremendously uplifting sing-along anthem ‘Shake It Out’. And of course, since it wouldn’t be a proper Florence + the Machine album without a song for the playlist designated for heartbreak and self-pity (no? That’s just me?), the band delivers with the chilling ‘No Light, No Light’. Ceremonials is heavy-handed on the drama, but it’s fitting. With lyrics that seem more literary and abound with vivid imagery, it’s only right to provide an accompanying soundtrack. Rich with explosive orchestral breakdowns, drumbeats you can feel in your rib cage, and the ever-understated use of the harp, it’s evident that the Machine isn’t that at all but rather a fluid entity, perfectly accommodating the verdant world Florence Welch created for this album. Maggie McBride

With Kanye putting his ego (mostly) to one side for a change and Jay-Z delivering high quality, if slightly commercialised, beats and production values, Watch The Throne easily made its way onto many people’s top ten lists this year. The title may be a slap in the face to many other rap artists, both established and emerging, which might explain the mixed response given by other rappers in the industry. Here, the duo are simply saying:‘‘This is how you do it’’. If any two rappers could pull that off, it could only be these two. On the surface, the album seems to talk down to you, remaining cocky in both its delivery and lyrical content, but look deeper and the intention isn’t to aggravate, but more to rally and motivate the listener. The whole album is solid, cohesive and concise. It doesn’t try to be glitzy and in your face because these guys don’t need to do that anymore. It doesn’t sound like a mix tape either - it sounds like a properly put-together album should, and that’s why this effortlessly-sounding masterpiece can nestle so comfortably amongst this top ten list. Chris Scott

In a return to form after the more experimental nature of 2009’s Humbug, the Sheffield boys released their fourth album in June. Following the huge success of their first two LPs, Alex Turner and co. have obviously been looking for a new direction. While Humbug was intermittently inspirational, it also often failed to impress, a flaw only highlighted by the consistency of Suck It And See. Still featuring the darker, more moody elements of the Arctic Monkeys’ newer sound, Suck It And See also weaves in sing-along, radio-friendly hooks. Lead single ‘Don’t Sit Down ’Cause I Moved Your Chair’ is a fine example, which takes a catchy chorus, some semi-comprehensible lyrics (“go into business with a grizzly bear”?!) and attaches one of the filthiest riffs of the year. Grizzly bears aside, Turner’s lyrical contribution is fantastic, as always. It’s a quality that sets the band apart from most other British rock acts. Never generic, always thoughtprovoking, the lead singer has an enviable ability to conjure up something insightful. It appears they’ve settled on a new winning formula - bring on album numero cinco! Tom Belcher

Second time around there was no girl, no sentimentalised recording in a log cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere; this album was created in the less romantic setting of a refurbished veterinary clinic in Wisconsin. Whilst For Emma, Forever Ago was full of moody, postbreakup angst, Bon Iver’s second self-titled album retains the intense depth, just with less of an emo backstory. Justin Vernon employs a collection of horns, synths, strings, percussion, organs and emaciated electric guitars to accompany his haunting vocals. The lyrics are still poetically raw and heart breaking, yet their real allure is the difficulty in comprehending them. Vernon’s virtuosity has rightly earned Bon Iver four Grammy nominations including, bizarrely, ‘Best New Artist’, despite the fact they have been around since 2007. These are however, the same idiots that gave Bruno ‘willing to kill myself for a fit girl’ Mars six! Grammy politics aside, it is undeniable that Bon Iver showcases a sound that is most definitely deserving of its place in one of the top ten albums of the year, and Justin Vernon doesn’t need any shiny gramophones on his mantelpiece to prove it. Sophie Coletta

After 2008’s hedonistic electro-pop winner Nights Out, not many people might have expected Metronomy’s third LP to be a concept-album based around frontman Joe Mount’s hometown of Devon. But with The English Riviera they did exactly that, evolving into a sleek, funky alternative-pop group. With a change of line-up, including drumming super-babe Anna Prior, the band emerged more focused, and more mature than ever before. The English Riviera is the musical equivalent of a breezy summer’s day - a warm, hazy blur, full of sunny moments but with a slightly subdued chill. ‘The Look’ and ‘The Bay’ (two of the best songs this year) are catchy and immediate, but there’s enough depth here that renders this album completely addictive - before you know it, the charms of the Devonshire coast work their way under your skin in a way that’s difficult to shake. The English Riviera is, for me, at the forefront of 2011’s releases, and will stand the test of time as a simply brilliant pop album which makes its ‘70s and ‘80s rock influences (from Fleetwood Mac to Prince) sound utterly modern and fresh. Ben Travis

Coldplay 7) 7 Mylo Xyloto

Arctic Monkeys 4) 4 Suck It And See

Florence + The 6) 6 Machine Ceremonials

Bon Iver 3) 3 Bon Iver

Widely described by critics as their best since 1997’s The Colour and the Shape, Foo Fighters returned with a bang in 2011 with their seventh studio album, Wasting Light. Working with esteemed producer Butch Vig for the first time since Nirvana’s iconic Nevermind, there was never any doubt that Grohl and co. would produce anything short of a masterpiece. Indeed it is arguably their heaviest record to date with album tracks such as ‘Bridge Burning’ and ‘White Limo’ signalling a different approach in comparison to 2007’s slightly more experimental Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace. Guest appearances from Bob Mould and Krist Novoselic result in solid collaborations on album tracks ‘Dear Rosemary’ and ‘I Should Have Known’. However, anthemic singles ‘Rope’ and ‘Walk’ are likely to be the most memorable compositions, with their big melodic choruses suggesting they will be live set staples for years to come. Simply put, Wasting Light represents another successful phase in the career of the Foos, helping them to firmly establish themselves as one of the biggest and best rock bands in the world today. Matty Aston

Jay-Z & 5) 5 Kanye West

Watch The Throne

Metronomy 2) 2 The English Riviera

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

untdown

bestof2011

Top 5 books

Top 5 films

Have A Little FaithMitch Alborn

I don’t want to misrepresent this book for all those who are immediately repulsed when they see the word faith. This is an enchanting story that shows you how beautiful humanity really can be: incorporating humour with learning, all contrasted against the lowest points in people’s lives and how through the support and at times undeserved love of others people can get themselves back on their feet. The story revolves around Mitch himself, who has agreed to do the eulogy for his old Rabbi, and meets with him to find out more about his life. However, at the same time, closer to home Mitch discovers the drug dealer come Pastor Henry who is doing good Christian work in an inner city area where poverty, drugs and drink are running havoc. Mitch observes how both men use their faith to support themselves through their lives and how it allows them to help those who others would deem lost causes. Discussing how God can even be a possibility for the modern man, this book challenges religion in a way that allows beliefs to be seen as not only reasonable but necessary. It provides the reader with a journey to not only follow and enjoy but be a part of and learn from. Sally Priddle

Need To Talk About Kevin 4 We Lionel Shrivers

Although published in 2003, Lionel Shrivers’ We Need to Talk About Kevin was committed to the silver screen this year, upping its readership and lending the twisted thriller some disturbing visuals. Set in the context of modern America, it tells the story of the aftermath of a fictional Columbine-style school shooting. The narrative is delivered in the form of a string of letters written by Eva, the mother of incarcerated Kevin, to her estranged husband Franklin. Shrivers’ gripping psychological thriller is a minefield of provocative controversies, tackling the difficult issues of criminal and parental accountability, whilst posing the dangerous question of nature versus nurture. Eva, as the narrator, takes the reader on a journey from her son’s birth up until two years after the day, where her wayward son used his fellow classmates as target practice. She documents Kevin’s earlier misdemeanours, searching for an early warning sign of his final atrocity. Darkly atmospheric and almost uncomfortably frank, We Need to Talk About Kevin is victorious in delivering a truly believable account of one of the most unthinkable subjects. Alice Fairholme

3 The Tiger’s Wife - Tea Obreht

Black Swan

A good film tells a good story. A great film integrates an (unexpected) ambiguity into the plot to make it thrive. An outstanding film does all of that while using a well-chosen popular motif as a metaphor to represent the ambiguity which is why Black Swan belongs to the best movies released this year. Sounds too complicated? As even the most unobservant viewer must have realised by now, Black Swan is not merely about two dancers competing for a role; director Darren Aronofsky‘s most succesful film to date deals with the psychological identity disorder of the aspiring ballerina Nina, portrayed by Natalie Portman, illustrated by the binary of the innocent White Swan and sensual Black Swan from Tschaikowsky‘s ballet Swan Lake. Despite the perplexing high density of symbolism, you don‘t have to be a ballet enthusiast or significantly knowledgeable to enjoy the film. The story is intriguing and full of twists, scenes of beauty and horror, giving the film its dynamic and the cast does an excellent job embodying the intense and somewhat difficult characters. Particular credit has to be given to the magnificient Natalie Portman who has finally won her first and more than deserved Oscar for starring as the mentally torn main role. If Black Swan’s hype has put you off watching it, be assured that is that good. But beware: It is NOT Billy Elliot! Lisa Bernhardt

4 Tree of Life

It really says something about a film when it is both a contender for film of the year and a point of division between those who have seen it. The Tree of Life could so easily be criticised as just an aimless collection of barely comprehensible scenes, but for this fragmented semi-narrative to win the Palme d’Or at Cannes really highlights its appeal to some people. This film is less a story than it is an experience. A half-hour sequence depicting what can only be imagined as the beginning of the universe epitomises this. Essentially a collection of images of matter in space, then the barren origins of a planet, simple organisms and so on, a description hardly justifies a scene that feels so engrossing while it’s on. To look at only the mystical aspect of The Tree of Life, however, would fail to do justice to its more technical brilliance. Brad Pitt as the domineering father, Mr. O’Brien, is one of the performances of the year and cements Pitt’s shift from movie star to quality actor, while the ethereally beautiful Jessica Chastain far from detracts from the experience. The cinematography is subtle, yet at the same time noticeably fresh and precise, while the music is one of the best collections seen in film in a long time. With all this considered, it’s not hard to see why a film that is so dull to some, can at the same time be considered one of the finest of the year. Patrick Mchugh

3 Drive

Téa Obreht the youngest author ever to win the Orange Prize for Fiction with her book The Tiger’s Wife, which successfully combines warfare and love with a sense of childish charm. The Tiger’s Wife tells us the story of what happened to the tiger and the people of Galina; narrated by the voice of Natalia who is coming to terms with the loss of her Grandfather. It all begins with a tiger escaping from a zoo and exploring streets filled with wreck and ruin, although to many the tiger was a thing to fear for one boy he was a magical creature. This young boy was Natalia’s Grandfather, and after finding out about his mysterious death, she goes in search for answers. Obreht manages to combine a plot that at sometimes can be gruelling and require immense amounts of concentration with a sense of enchantment that allows the reader to be drawn in and won over by the story, that allows warfare to have a sense of childish charm that is too easily lost in adulthood. The book incorporates violence, personality, politics and all set against the traditional and relatable story of a Granddaughter’s love for her Grandfather. Sally Priddle

Drive sort of slipped under the radar of many people in the UK. It may have recieved a standing ovation at Cannes, but despite being one of the more interesting films to be overlooked this year, it seemed to slide in and out of UK cinemas like an expert getaway driver. It’s yet another vehicle (no pun intended) from the man who has been everywhere in 2011, Ryan Gosling. He plays a Hollywood stunt driver who moonlights as a very strict getaway driver but, after meeting his neighbour (Carey Mulligan) and taking on a job on behalf of her husband, things start to go very pear shaped with a lot of blood and fast driving. But Drive isn’t your typical action movie with car chases and huge shoot outs. Instead it’s very methodical and, to some people, could be seen as dull and slow. It focuses more on the slow burning emotions of the characters and a lot of tension to really give you the punches to the guts rather than a billion cars exploding at once. But this is standard of director Nicolas Winding Refn. With an 80s style sound track, an excellent supporting cast and some great moments, it’s one of this year’s greatest injustices seeing as it got looked over in the UK. Chris Taylor

This ideal sun lounger paperback has been flying off the shelves of Blackwells, Waterstones and Asda alike ever since Jim Strugress’ cheeky chops and floppy locks hit the big screen in the Summer. And that was despite Anne Hathaway’s dire attempt at a Yorkshire accent. A destined-to-be-together romance of bad timings it’s the kind of novel that you find glued to your left hand while your right threatens to jab you in the side of the head until you drop it. Emma and Dex are perfect for each other. Meeting on their graduation night the fireworks bang, whizz and spin around their heads in a movie moment of perfect fusion. There’s one problem though; Dex is a bit of a prick. Sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll ravenous he’s like a dog on heat that’s surrounded by a million canine equivilants of Rihanna. He’s a rich puppy too, so he can afford to pamper any favoured poodle while boarding the magic carpet to an enchanted career in the media. Emma, meanwhile, is left behind, her first class degree proving useless to wipe tables with. They get together in the end of course, presenting the idea that, yeah, if you think you have found the one, and you wait around for 20 years, it might eventually happen. Or, alterntaively, you could read how Nicholls has her knocked off her bike and killed in the end as punishment for her stupidity. Kat Bannon

There’s no denying after we reached the new millennium superheroes became the dominating force in cinema. The genres popularity explosion exposed the inner geek hidden in everyone. However, only a handful ever really truly achieves critical acclimation. The X-men franchise is no exception. The entire franchise is a maelstrom of hit and miss attempts. The first two were fantastic, the next two (one a prequel) I would rather have Professor X wipe from my mind. But First Class was a delightful return to the franchise (if you can forgive the continuity faults) and one of the surprising hits of the year. What we are given is something that fans have been curious about for years, the prologue story of Charles Xavier and Eric Lensherr. Played by James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender with excellent ease, they manage to show the tropes and faults that each character possess that the previous films tended to neglect. This was before they were Professor X and Magneto, back when they were close friends. They enlist a heard of other mutants in order to prevent a sinister dictator (Kevin Bacon) starting world war three. The film runs with great energy, doesn’t rely too heavily on thrills but runs more on character interaction, and has a very likeable ensemble of characters. It’s not a perfect film, but in comparison to the other comic book adaptations this year had to offer, First Class by far surpassed them all. Luke Hearfield

2 One Day - David Nicholl

2 X-Men: First Class

Turn the page for the #1 album, film and book of 2011 as voted by The Courier writers!

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

bestof2011

And the winners are... 1

When God Was a Rabbit Sarah Winman

A Sunday Times Bestseller, When God Was A Rabbit is Sarah Winman’s debut novel. The story is divided into two parts, 1968 and 1995, and details the life of our narrator Elly Portman, initially as a 10 year old girl and then as a grown up. From the outset, Winman’s writing style is incredibly convincing as she conveys Elly’s childlike and unassuming voice with magical clarity. The reader is drawn into a unique and well-observed world full of endearingly eccentric and idiosyncratic characters. This is a book about family and at its heart is the relationship between Elly and her brother Joe. In the beginning they are allies in their adventures and as they grow into adulthood, they come to depend on one another. Although there are elements of fairytale, When God Was A Rabbit doesn’t shy away from

Top of the pops...

Lauren Stafford

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Cold War spy thriller Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy was one of this year’s most hotly-anticipated �ilms for numerous reasons. A stellar cast including Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, Benedict Cumberbatch and Mark Strong was one, as was the adoration it received at Cannes, but there was also the thorny issue of whether a two hour �ilm could do justice to both the original John le Carré novel and the seminal BBC television adaptation starring Alec Guinness. It didn’t disappoint, delivering a brilliantly evocative depiction of a paranoia-saturated Cold War world. The condensation of le Carré’s delicately poised, intricate plotting is extremely well-managed, and a welcome reminder that thrillers can be thrilling and successful without kinetic explosions every eight seconds or so. However, towering over all these achievements is a superlative lead performance from Gary Oldman as Smiley. He disappears into the role, investing Smiley with as much intellect, authority and vulnerability as Guinness did, but also bringing a wiry intensity and tension which provides a mesmerising centre for the complex plot and the other excellent performances to revolve around. Above all, it’s brilliantly immersing, involving you in the mystery of �inding the Soviet spy in the British Secret Service, and, come the climax, makes you kick yourself that you didn’t work it out sooner. Tom Nicholson

1 Adele - 21

Where to begin? 18 weeks at the top of the UK charts, #1 in 19 countries, over 12 million sales worldwide and 6 Grammy nominations. 21 has been a triumph in so many ways, but fundamentally it’s an album that can connect with any audience. The lyrical depth Adele brings surpasses her age, baring her broken heart for all to see. Her distinctive voice is instantly recognisable, and her no-frills performances show that some artists just don’t need a theatrical stage show to wow an audience. 21 has been the sound of 2011 and will remain one of those rare special albums that all others will be compared to. Over the past decade or so there are probably a handful of records that have made the kind of impact 21 has, and it is these few that will be remembered long into the future. The ‘dif�icult second album’ has proven to be anything but for Adele. An album of musical and lyrical perfection, I can’t recommend it highly enough. Alex Brophy

darker themes as the shadow of a childhood secret begins to haunt Elly’s adult life. Episodes of comedy, particularly one chapter involving a school nativity play, are laugh-outloud funny but equally, in parts, this novel can be uncompromisingly sad. Winman manages to create the perfect balance between describing the unique nature of each character and allowing the reader to imagine the rest, allowing each reader to have a personal connection with the book. This is a great, compelling coming-of-age tale. It’s quirky, original and de�initely worth adding to this year’s Christmas list.

... and top of the ﬂops!

Music columnist Sam Summers casts a critical eye over the best and worst #1 singles of 2011 4) One Direction – What Makes You Beautiful

The boys from 1D (sorry) surmounted incredible obstacles on the road to recording a Good Pop Song. They’re a boy band! Off of the X Factor! And one of them is a horrible smarmy douchebag! (I’m looking at you, Second Verse). Any one of these would be enough to cripple most acts, but not One Direction. All that is good about this track, and pop music in general, is summed up in three seconds of audio: 2:33-2:36. Look it up, you’ll thank me later.

2) Rihanna ft. Drake – What’s My Name?

I’ve memorised a lot of raps in my time, and I’m proud of almost all of them. Many an evening have I wasted painstakingly rewinding Nicki Minaj’s verse in ‘Monster’, and it was worth every second. The exception is the limp word-slop laid down by Drake on this otherwise-incredible Rihanna track, which I feel obliged to roll off whenever I hear it, to the embarrassment of myself and my peers. It is really rather pants. On a more positive note, the rest of this song absolutely kills: blissed-out chillgasm pop at its coolest.

3) DJ Fresh ft. Sian Evans – Louder

Confession time – I have no idea what dubstep is. It’s bangy loudy clubby stuff right? That’s what I thought, until DJ Fresh dropped ‘Louder’, which has been dubbed (ha) the genre’s �irst Number One Hit. It’s... it’s basically a pop song. An incredible, thumping pop song that pounds its way into your heart like a gorilla caving in your chest with a mallet, but a pop song nonetheless. Are the Dubstep Kids getting up in arms about DJ Fresh selling out? Are the Dubstep Kids even a thing? I don’t care. Excellent song.

1) Nicole Scherzinger – Don’t Hold Your Breath

Reformed Pussycat Doll Scherzinger delivers the Greatest Number One of 2011 in the shape of this gut-wrenching, �ist-pumping Banger. That’s right – this song is a Banger, pure and simple. It Bangs. It practically Sonic Booms. There’s only one way to enjoy tracks like this, and that’s on your own in the middle of a crowded dance�loor, arms stretched towards the ground, head in the air, tunelessly screaming the chorus into the unforgiving night sky. Glorious.

4) Professor Green ft. Emili Sandé – Read All About It

Oh god, Emili Sandé. You deserve so much better than this. After the blinding beatsplosion of ‘Heaven’, you could not have landed a worse guest spot than this. Professor Green sounds like the bastard child of Eminem and one of Donald Duck’s nephews. If I had a hilarious voice I’d stay as far away as possible from rapping about my estranged and deceased father. When I hear your voice I laugh, Professor. I laugh hard. Don’t make me feel guilty.

3) Jason Derulo – Don’t Wanna Go Home

One of a slew of recent tracks which take a classic chorus and turns it into horrendous auto-tuned dirge (see also: Black Eyed Peas – The Time, our #1 abomination), Derulo makes a robotic monstrosity of Harry Belafonte’s legendary ‘Day-O’. When he’s not dropping the most moronic rhymes in pop he’s hanging out in ‘the club’, �illing his choruses with ridiculous football chants and, of course, screeching his own name like a spluttering, useless Pokémon. Probably a Magikarp. Dire.

2) Dappy – No Regrets

1) Cher Lloyd – Swagger Jagger

This is actually quite a decent tune, with one problem: Dappy is a bell end. Dappy is the Fresh Prince of Bell End. The man is an absolute buffoon, peppering his lyrics with everything from Chris Brown-sympathising to Pippa Middleton sex fantasies. Ok, we’ve all been there, but that’s not the point. Dappy takes in the sights and sounds of the world, mashes them up into juvenile nonsense, and spits them out indiscriminately. He’s like a Play-Doh Fun Factory with all the holes shaped like dongs.

I’ve spent a good chunk of my time at The Courier making fun of Cher Lloyd, and I think I’m starting to see my problem. I’m nothing but a no-good, rotten hater. I’m just jealous of her inimitable swagger, and I can’t for the life of me stop trying to ‘jag’ it. It has nothing at all to do with this disgusting mess of a song, which strings together an awful chorus, a lazy ‘club’ synth riff and a noxious rap and mercilessly pumps the shit from one to the other like a Human Centipede of Pop. I should just let it go.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

Top 5 trends of 2011 Coloured jeans 5

In 2011 we said goodbye to the classic blue jean and embraced denim in an array of �luorescent colours. The resurgence of the trend began in the runway shows , then, this spring the trend �iltered rapidly into our all of our favourite high-street stores in every colour imaginable. Bright jeans are a bold and brave fashion statement as they instantly scream con�idence. They can transform a dull out�it into one that will grab attention and make sure that you stand out from the crowd. No matter what your style anyone can pull off this trend and your one pair of jeans can be used for any occasion. Pair with �lats, a plain t-shirt and a jacket for a day at uni, or killer heels, a dressy top and a blazer for drinks with friends! Christina Calver

Cut-out dresses

Elegant, daring and sexy all at the same time, yes you said it - it’s the item we couldn’t live without – the cut-out dress. This effortless piece is an essential to the party girl’s wardrobe. Whether it’s side cut-outs, cleavage-baring cut-outs or back cut-outs, this dress certainly puts you in that market which just screams ‘look-at-me’. The icing on the cake is that this look caters for all – covered up with subtle peek-a-boo cut-outs, or fullon all-over-body cut-outs for the more con�ident. No designer wanted to miss this sizzling statement and top trend of 2011. The cut-out is so highly lusted-after that it’s also taken over the swimwear market giving us super-hot Ibiza style unikinis (one piece bikinis). This style of dress allows you to bare more in a classy way and show off those gorgeous feminine curves. What could be better?

Elbow patches

Emily Symington

No longer are elbow patches solely related to old, boring, dusty professors; designers such as Ralph Lauren and Burberry have incorporated them into their Autumn/Winter 2011 collections. Originally used to cover holes in old clothing, the stylish elbow patch now adds a touch of quirkiness to everyone’s favourite slouchy jumpers or classic blazer. If you still can’t �ind the perfect colour/texture combination, then you can get out the sewing kit and create your own. For sophistication, look out for Tweed jackets and �itted blazers embellished with the elbow patch in suede or leather. Or go casual with cosy, oversized, knitted jumpers or cardigans with either knitted or suede elbow patches. Matching the elbow patch colour to your top is a subtle but effective way to co-ordinate. Emma Hill

Sheer blouses

In the Spring/Summer 2012 fashion shows, sheer blouses have yet again dominated. This versatile piece of clothing made a breakthrough in the Spring/Summer shows of 2009, with designers opting for risqué textured items. But even before this look was taken up by the catwalks, our very own Kate Middleton wore THAT infamous sheer dress by Charlotte Todd in 2002, showing that this style is powerful enough to catch even a prince’s eye. Since its �irst appearance on the catwalks, the consumer and the high street have fallen for it, as sheer blouses never fail to add style and a touch of glamour to even the blandest of out�its. If you haven’t already worn this style yourself, try layering sheer garments with skinnies for an effortless evening look or a buttoned-up sheer blouse under a thick cardigan for during the day. Sally Greenwood

Embellishment

Embellishment is a technique that has been around for centuries, but over the last few years there has been a surge in the embellished offerings from both designers and high street brands. It was during 2011 that embellishment as a trend really took off. Jason Wu’s Autumn 2011 collection was �illed to the brim with elegant beaded dresses and blouses, and shortly after stars such as Chloe Sevigny, Eva Mendes and even Kelly Osbourne were seen sporting the trend on red carpets at various glamorous events. High street brands caught onto the trend, releasing more affordable pieces inspired by the catwalk; beautiful dresses adorned with beads and sequins are now a reality for those of us with champagnetaste but beer-money. Those with a more sequin-shy sense of style aren’t left out either: you can add a touch of embellishment to out�its with accessories such as clutch bags and Peter Pan collar necklaces. Now, as 2011 draws to a close, we can’t walk into any of our favourite high street stores without being dazzled by embellished pieces perfect for the festive season. It seems that embellishment is a trend that’s set to see us through the New Year and beyond. Elissa Hudson

bestof2011

Top 5 gadgets of 2011 Nintendo 3DS 5 The latest foray into the games market from the allconquering innovators at Nintendo brings the �irst ever 3D handheld games console to the table. While at �irst glance it appears much the same as its 2D brothers, its big draw is the full stereoscopic 3D screen - that’s 3D without the glasses. It’s also the �irst time since the N64 where a Nintendo console has outclassed its competition in tech specs. This is a device that’s going to grab everyone who picks it up, but at the same time has plenty to offer the gaming hardcore as well and that’s just as big a step forward as the specless 3D visuals. With the price recently shashed to £120, it’s well worth writing to Santa for. Mark Atwill

Blackberry Playbook

Since the launch of the iPad, every reputable electronics company has been beavering away to get their own version of this innovative technology on the market. While there are literally hundreds to choose from, the Blackberry Playbook stands out with a really excellently clear and responsive screen, is light and neat and performs very well with multiple windows and tasks. The target market may be is the briefcase and pinstripe brigade, the product is nothing but perfect for note-taking in lectures, watching movies on the train and sending emails and messages on the bus. Priced at between £200-250, it’s not going to break the bank, and being so light and compact, it won’t break Rudolph’s back either should you want one in your stocking.

Mark Atwill

Samsung Galaxy S2

Samsung, Apple and HTC have been battling it out all year for the crown of ‘the best phone of 2011’. Almost everyone seems to like iPhones, but I won’t be spending £600 on a phone any time soon. So what’s the alternative? Just about topping the HTC Sensation, reviewers have gone mad for the dual core powerhouse that is the Samsung Galaxy S2, touted as the ultimate media mobile, with a superb camera and web browsing technology. Indeed it would seem this guy has not only set a new benchmark for smartphones in 2011; it’s smashed the bench, marked it with its own heady scent and placed it atop a big greasy pole at which competitors �lounder for a foothold. At around £400, it’s a still pricey for a sim-free, but contracts start from as little as £20 a month, so it’s still an option for the savvy student. Then again, maybe you’ve just been very good this year, and I’m underestimating Santa’s magnanimity.

Mark Atwill

Amazon Kindle

The Amazon Kindle has truly revolutionised the way we read books. Instant grati�ication can be achieved because downloading ebooks doesn’t take long and if you ever come across a word you don’t know the meaning of, you can use the device to �ind the de�inition. You can read books, magazines and newspapers anywhere with this very light and portable device. The popularity of ebooks is growing and publishers are beginning to realise the grass-root demand due to paper-lovers ditching their environmentally unfriendly craving for mental sustenance so more ebooks will soon be made available. You can pick these ereaders up fairly cheaply because the price is heavily subsidised due to Amazon being the biggest ebook provider - if you have one, you’ll probably buy your ebooks from them.

Shaun Butcher

Xbox 360 Kinect

The Xbox Kinect is another revolutionary piece of technology and although it isn’t actually new - some might remember the EyeToy for PS2 - Microsoft have knocked their competitors out of the park. However, it still provides a genuinely new gaming experience due to the fact that the Kinect completely removes the need for a controller; you use your voice and movements to play the games, as the 3D camera tracks your movements. You can also use it with the DVD functions of the Xbox and your hand movements can fast forward and rewind the �ilm. Few games are out at the moment that properly take advantage of the technology, but that is soon to change. This is a great addition to the Xbox software and will bring your friends and family together. Shaun Butcher

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

bestof2011

The moments that defin Beyoncé glammed up Glastonbury

The Turner A right Royal Prize travelled fairytale wedding to the Tyne

The announcement that Beyoncé would close the Pyramid Stage at this year’s Glastonbury as the Sunday headliner caused a bit of a furore. ‘An R&B pop star at Glastonbury?! Not on my watch!’ came shouts from many Glasto purists. But did they learn nothing from Jay-Z a few years ago? They have enough pizazz to headline and cause U2 to weep in a corner at how poor they were in comparison. Sure, Noel Gallagher may have had a problem, but he’s an idiot. So when Beyoncé arrived on stage to fireworks, a perfectly choreographed dance, belting out ‘Crazy In Love’, you could hear the Eavis family high fiving each other in the background in celebration at their fantastic signing. Flying through all the hits, a Destiny’s Child medley (sans the other members much to my dismay) and versions of Etta James, Kings of Leon and Eurythmics tracks, she showed no sign of slowing down, never mind stopping. Compared to the other two headliners, Beyoncé actually seemed humbled to be there and, as a result, engaged with the audience. For those two hours, despite her being an international superstar, everyone felt like they were on the same level as her. This is how you headline Glastonbury, this is what Glastonbury is all about and this set will go down in history as one of the festival’s most triumphant and defining moments.

This year saw Newcastle climb a little higher up the cultural ladder as the exclusive art circle was extended up to the North East, bringing the Turner Prize with it. For the first time, this prestigious and highly publicized award was dragged from its southern roots and brought to the Baltic; open to speculation and criticism by the minds of Newcastle. However the former Baltic flourmill provided the perfect environment for the artists to display their work. The Turner Prize has generated huge interest with thousands of people queuing to enter the exhibition every week. The reaction to this prize being in Newcastle does not, however, seem to be as dramatic as the reactions of the community to the art itself. Public opinion is strong; displayed in the ‘Turner Prize Café’ memos arranged abstractly on a board describe people’s views towards the art. Each artist has a supportive following. Enthusiastic posts explain why one artist must win and why another doesn’t deserve the award, while others honestly summarize the art or even the prize itself as being a waste of time, or ‘rubbish’. For the first time, Newcastle has been given the limelight of the art world, cementing its increasing reputation as an alluring hive of culture. On December 5 Martin Boyce was announced this year’s winner of the £40,000 prize.

Chris Taylor

Amy Bolton

On Friday April 29 the British people and millions from across the globe came together to witness the wedding celebrations of Prince William and Catherine Middleton as the young couple took part in what was described as ‘the wedding of the century’. An ‘intimate’ gathering of 2,000 friends, family and dignitaries flocked to Westminster Abbey with celebrity appearances from the likes of the Beckhams, Elton John and the nations favourite ‘Mr Bean’ to be part of the young couple’s wedding nuptials. Those of us not fortunate enough to gain an invite to the most exclusive event of the year, took our tea parties to the streets and had cupcake celebrations with friends and family alike as we toasted to the pride of Britain and its most attractive future yet. Kate exceeded all expectations stepping out in a stunning ivory lace dress designed by Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen. Acting as the Maid of honour and following shortly behind Kate was her younger sister Pippa Middleton, who has since been thrown into the limelight with the simple elegance of her dress and shall we say, rather cheeky appearance. The highlight of the day, however, was undoubtedly the locking of the royal lips not once but twice on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, reigniting the nation’s childhood dreams of Disney weddings and ‘happily ever afters’, making it a truly seminal moment for 2011. Katie Roberston

Amy Harry Potter Great Britain’s Winehouse disapparates not-so-quiet RIP: 1983-2011 from cinemas riots Misfortunes tend to come in droves at the same time. On the day before Amy Winehouse died, 77 people were killed in an attack by a rightwing extremist in Norway. Both stories dominated the news for the next two weeks. Whether one story took precedence or not is another issue - the fact is: Amy Winehouse‘s death is a tragic moment for the world of music. I used to jokingly say “I want to see her live in concert at least once before she dies!” But, like many others, I didn‘t quite believe that her lifestyle, i.e. the booze and the drugs, would eventually be her end. It just seemed to be part of her, not necessarily a flattering detail, but at least she was authentic, real rock ‘n’ roll‘ if you like. She wasn‘t yet another polished, artificial female singer; she was edgy against all odds and not all about a pleasing feel-good image, but her music. She died while producing her third album, on the road of recovery from her health problems, which was promising to be a great comeback for her and her ‘voice of the century’. No matter if you like Amy and her music or not and no matter what you think of her death‘s cause, you simply can’t deny her outstanding talent and potential. She might be gone, but her timeless music is bound to live on. Rest in Peace, Amy.

Harry Potter has officially ended. The Deathly Hallows Part Two saw Emma Watson almost act without her eyebrows and Daniel Radcliffe almost act. Ignoring a few artistic licenses this was a great film, and even improves on second viewing where you see it in a different light: changing the word wand with another phallic word turns Deathly Hallows into a substantial comedy. Casting our heroes and heroines pre-adolescent could have made the whole franchise a disaster: yes Daniel Radcliffe stopped growing after the age of 12, Mathew Lewis (Neville) became uncharacteristically and unprecedentedly fit and Ginny’s role unfortunately became integral, meaning Bonnie Wright’s complete lack of acting ability had to be endured. Most successfully, the series has remained most triumphantly British. The main question at the moment is whether the franchise will be recognised by the Oscars. The only problem with Harry Potter receiving a nomination is Stephanie Meyer seems to be under some mad delusion that she is on the same level as J.K Rowling. If a ‘for your consideration’ film pledging Twilight for an Oscar is released I will have no choice but to either laugh hysterically or die.

Lisa Bernhardt

Mallory McDonald

The world turned its attention to a few of the UK’s urban centres in August as the ‘youth and unemployed’ of Britain took to the streets for what have become infamous riots. Every newspaper and television channel reported looting, theft and violence alongside pictures of burning city centres and armies of riot police. The UK came to a standstill, London and Birmingham became designated warzones and people didn’t leave their homes in fear of their own safety. Even sporting events were disrupted, as football matches were postponed and uncertainty was placed over the playing of the test match between England and India. Tourists even pondered over the thought of not travelling to the UK because of the situation. Some would say it was the release of months, even years of built up tension from the countries youth and their economic situation. Others would see it as unreasonable, mob-like behavior that would never previously had been characterized as part of this countries culture. All in all, it the British summer was marred by these days in August and truly revealed the potential of some of this country to fight back with a vengeance. The riots really were a sobering and potent wake up call as to how dire the economic climate and social attitudes are in this country. Wills Robinson

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

bestof2011

ed 2011 The King’s Speech ruled the Oscars We British are a conservative people, begrudgingly facing wars and social strife with an admirable propriety and ‘stiff upper lip’. A tired stereotype yes, but as the 2011 Oscars proved, a very endearing one; as undeniable ‘heritage film’ The King’s Speech fought valiantly against the shortlisted competition. The King’s Speech, following the personal account of reluctant King George VI battling a speech impediment, was a film with its eyes on Oscar gold from the beginning, recruiting some of Britain’s finest and acclaimed director Tom Hooper. Originally stepping up at the Baftas, The King’s Speech was nominated for 14 categories, winning seven including Best Film and Best British Film. When the Oscars came round all eyes were on Britain - in the depressing context of the UK Film Council dissolution the Oscar success became an incredible national and economic boost to the British film industry. Despite strong competition from Black Swan and the Coen brothers’ True Grit, The King’s Speech led the nominations with 12 in it’s pocket, winning 4 including Best Picture and Colin Firth for Best Actor. Tapping into the global Anglo/American love for British monarchy, the film took over 230 million worldwide, becoming more than a film but a cultural phenomenon, transcending typical demographics and emerging as a cinematic and national success just in time for the Royal wedding. Chris Binding

Pulp, Sabbath and Roses reform After 15 years apart, Pulp reunited to play a number of headline slots during festival season. With Blur having pulled off a similar feat a few years prior and Oasis at least momentarily canned, the other bighitters of the Britpop era came back and dazzled the muddy crowds. In what could either prove to be a masterstroke or a total train wreck, Heavy metal gods Black Sabbath have announced they are coming back to headline Download Festival in 2012. We haven’t seen much of frontman Ozzy Osbourne for a while, but if he has truly ditched his gimmicky reality TV personality to return to what made him so iconic in the ﬁrst place, this will be one to keep an eye on. Perhaps the biggest story of the year, or at least the one that has attracted the most widespread attention, is the Stone Roses reunion. After years of endless speculation and denial, the Manchester legends have announced two homecoming gigs and a subsequent world tour. The last show they played is well documented as one of the worst in history, so this news has obviously been met with as much cynicism as it has euphoria. But when it comes to the ability to mesmerize effortlessly, the Roses are peerless, so ﬁngers crossed this reunion turns out to be as mind-blowingly amazing as it deserves to be. They want to be adored…again Oh yeah, and apparently Steps are back together. Matt Tate

Top 5 boxsets of 2011 5 Romantic Comedy Boxset 2011 One for the girls, or couples with compromising men, this box set will warm you up like no other. Christmas-themed and set in England, the subject of love could not be more relevant. Bridget Jones Diary and sequel The Edge Of Reason should be watched religiously every Christmas/New Year, and this year is no exception. If you need any help with your New Year’s resolutions, just remember: “Resolution number one: obviously, will lose twenty pounds. Number two: will �ind nice sensible boyfriend and not continue to form romantic attachments to alcoholics, workaholics, peeping-toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits or perverts”. Perfect for: Girly girls and loved-up doves

Curb Your Enthusiasm 4 Seasons 1-7 Co-Creator of Seinfeld, Larry David writes fantastic comedy, in the role of… himself – semiretired television writer and producer in America. The balding, rude grumpy and dysfunctional ageing man endures excruciating mishaps but remains surprisingly likeable, becoming more so throughout the series. The unique quality of this series is that the majority of the episodes are �ilmed spontaneously, thus, viewers appreciate the humour and Larry himself far more. Every 30-minute-long episode of this epic sitcom will leave you in creases and, accompanied by a glass of red wine, will put you in the festive spirit. Perfect for: Parents and eccentric comedy-lovers

3 The Planet Collection

This amazing box set includes David Attenborough’s three most breath-taking documentary series. The Emmy and BAFTA award-winning Blue Planet, focuses on underwater life, capturing seacreatures never before �ilmed. Next, the most expensive nature documentary series ever commissioned by the BBC: Planet Earth. It includes footage from over 200 different locations over a period of 5 years, where months of exhaustive �ilming is cut down to mere, precious minutes. Finally, feast your eyes on the white wilderness of the Arctic and Antarctic in Frozen Planet. The changing landscape of glaciers, ice shelves and sea ice tests the survival skills of polar bears, arctic wolves, adelie penguins and snowy albatrosses. The Planet Collection is a real eye-opener; undeniably educational, it is also captivating viewing. Perfect for: science and nature enthusiasts/friends

2 Downton Abbey - Seasons 1-2

There’s no denying that this period drama should be amongst the Top 5 Christmas DVD Box Sets. Downton Abbey exposes the life behind the doors of the titular country manor in Yorkshire, the beauty and comfort of which is threatened in the second series set in 1916, during the First World War. The Crawley family, their servants and of course their majestic dresses suffer as they undergo desperate times that will change them forever. A favourite of the latest Royal couple, Prince William and Kate, make it your New Year’s resolution to taste the true Englishness and get through the box set drinking Earls Grey tea with your mobile switched off. Perfect for: lovers of the true elite

1 Harry Potter - The Complete

Collection

This Christmas is the time to celebrate those 10 magical years that made our childhood worth it – again and again, until you’re spellbound. Follow Harry and his loyal friends Ron and Hermione on his magical journey at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t seen all of the �ilms – shame on you – but those who have will know what a great investment this boxset is. Little did we know that 10 years later girls would be drooling over Rupert Grint (Ron) and boys, well, admiring Emma Watson (Hermione) on their wall-poster. Perfect for: all the family

Nicole Stevenson

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

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Thames Fireworks If you are going to spend New Year’s Eve beside a clock, which for timing purposes is highly advised, you might as well pick the grandfather of all clocks – Big Ben himself. This year the mayor of London himself is hosting �ireworks and New Year’s celebrations right beside the River Thames where anyone and everyone is invited. So if you’re looking for a free, different and exciting option for your night this could be perfect. There will be a �ireworks display, which they boast to be the biggest in the UK, as well as an exclusive soundtrack to go alongside for those who want a dance. Then you get to hear the actual bells themselves, as you will be right beside Big Ben’s ‘bongs’ as midnight strikes. If you think this couldn’t get any better you’d be mistaken, as Radio Photo: cnbattson (Flickr) 1 DJ Nihal will be playing sets before and after. Think this sounds good? No tickets are required but make sure you get down there early as 250, 000 people are expected, and it �ills up early. You can bring your own alcohol in plastic containers as well saving a few more quid. But make sure you meet your friends beforehand (needle in a haystack springs to mind) and wrap up extra warm. If you don’t manage to get inside the designated area though you can see the �ireworks wherever in the city you can see the London Eye and the BBC will be broadcasting the whole event live on TV. So New Year’s Eve on the Thames sorted!

Photo: Richard Milnes (Flickr)

Bringing in New Year with a bang Newquay Fancy Dress Carnival Who says fancy dress out�its can’t be reused? If you’re going to be around the south coast this New Year, keep those festive out�its out just a little longer so you can take part in one of the biggest fancy dress carnivals in the country. Located in the heart of Cornwall, the streets of Newquay are �illed with reindeer, snowmen and even teenage mutant hero turtles (but obviously

still donn annual ge tracting m every yea the surro the numerous pubs 6pm and then meet the countdown, whi tacular �irework dis And if you and your one piece after all th welcome to head alo for a midnight disco wine soaked costum

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

Counting down in the toon Seeing in a New Year is meant to be one of the highlights of the festive season; saying a fond farewell to one year and seeing in the next, being surrounded by family and friends and having a cheeky glass of champagne all seems ideal until you’re having to decide which event to go to! But fear not, The Courier has compiled the de�initive list of New Year’s Eve events to cater for your every need; whether you intend on seeing in the new year with a quiet night in surrounded by family, or whether you’re holding back a housemate’s hair from their face in Digital during the countdown.

Photo: drew | DROWNEDeffect™ (Flickr)

Koosyear 2011

featuring guest appearance from Chris Brown. £30, 6pm-

Hogmanay Possibly the most well-known of New Year celebrations in the UK is the annual Hogmanay festival that takes place up in Edinburgh city centre. With a regular attendance of 80,000 people, you’d think there would be little space remaining to �it in any of the live acts! For those of you who were quick enough to snap up tickets this years to the ‘Concert in the Gardens’ you’re in for a night of epic proportions; Bombay Bicycle Club and Sons & Daughters will be performing live and supporting Scotland’s own Primal Scream who will be playing the entirety of their album Screamadelica and other greatest hits, all with the backdrop of the iconic Edinburgh Castle. However, all’s not lost for those of you who missed out on tickets to the Garden Party; the evening of festivities also contains a street party spanning the length of the capital and has one of the best line up of bands and artists of the year. Friendly Fires, The Vaccines, Wild Beasts and many more will be making an appearance throughout the night, as well as Mark Ronson who will be performing a DJ set later on the evening. And if all that wasn’t enough to be make you run to the nearest computer and get tickets, there will be a traditional Kelidh starting at 9pm for those who have the energy, as well as a torchlight procession from 6.30pm �inishing with a fantastic �irework display. This event has deservedly become the undisputed champion of New Year’s Eve celebrations, so why not get yourselves up there with �latmates and see what all the fuss is about!

ning Santa hats) for the et together that is atmore and more people ar. Everyone spills into ounding after sampling and bars from around t in the town centre for ich is followed by a specsplay over the harbour. r costume are still in hat, you’re more than ong to the Hotel Victoria o (where the beer and mes are optional by this

point) for the towns of�icial after party that goes on well into the night, including the UK’s biggest UV bubble party and fancy dress night all in one. And the best thing about all this for us cash strapped students? If you head along to the Victoria Hotel website, you can register for a free ticket! So booze and grub aside, this night won’t cost you a penny as long as you keep hold of your festive onesies! The town also offers alternative end points for party goers; from the more chilled out Berties bar and family friendly The Fort Inn, to the reopened Tall Trees nightclub and Chy bar.

This year will mark the third successive New Year’s Eve party at Tiger Tiger, and this time around they hope to outdo themselves again by making the night bigger and better than ever before. Tickets for this night are selling out very fast and with the line-up, you can really see what all the fuss is about. The countdown will be accompanied by plenty of glitz and glam and promises full red carpet treatment for all guests. And if that wasn’t enough, they’ve got a very special guest �lying over from the States; Chris Brown will be present for the evening and will be there to see in the New Year with you all.

Digital ‘Love NYE’ club night.

£10, 10pm-5am

Based in one of the biggest clubs in Newcastle, you better not be hoping for a quiet night in with this one! Spread over �ive rooms; expect mainly electro and house music from DJs Felix Leiter, Tom Higham and a whole host of guest vocalists who will be performing live. But if electro isn’t your thing, don’t worry; there are also generous helpings of R&B and dub step in the adjoining venue the Other Rooms. Also, if you need a breather during the night, the indie terrace bar and shisha terrace offer a slightly quieter refuge from the intensity of the evening before the big countdown.

WHQ New Year’s eve party. £15, 10pm-6am

Split between two �loors which you can �lit between throughout the night, WHQ offers a more alternative and quirky option to celebrate the New Year. The organisers are setting aside an entire week to deck the club out, and the evening itself will offer an eight hour, uninterrupted set by their regular weekend DJ, as well as special guests DJs Paul Sullivan and Tim Shaw who will be performing downstairs in the venue. The club promises to keep drink prices the same too, so you won’t get stung at the bar either! It may be slightly smaller than some of the other venues in town, but what it lacks in space, it certainly makes up for in character, and the underground nature of the club means this will truly be a unique experience and is de�initely one to consider if you’re still undecided about where to head out to on New Year’s Eve. As an added bonus, the club have agreed to give everyone at the New Year’s party a pass for free admission to the club on January 6 and January 7 as a little thank you for heading along and seeing the New Year in with them as well.

Sport

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

Sport Editors: Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Barron Online Sport Editors: Grace Harvey and Charlie Scott courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Queens Park Mangers: Xmas XI

Online Sports Editor Charlie Scott picks his festive eleven; yule struggle to �ind a side with more Christmas spirit

Coach: Jose Myrrhinho

GK: Edwin van der Star

RCB: Johan Djourousalem

RM: Evander Snow

CM: Jason Yule

RF: Chris Musonda Coach- Jose Myrrhinho. Who better to lead this festive team than the self-proclaimed ‘Chosen One’. Myrrhinho has proved himself one of the best in the business.

GK: Edwin van der Star Edwin has been tempted out of retirement by the quality of the players involved at the club, and was particularly happy to be linking up with Ruudolph van Nistelrooy again. RCB: Johan Djourousalem Afforded little playing time by Arsene Wenger, Myrrhinho was happy to overlook any defensive

CB: Sledley King

frailties Johan may have, such is the brilliance of the Swiss centre-back’s surname. CB: Sledley King One of the most talented English centre-backs of his generation, sadly injury has thwarted Sledley’s career. When �it, one of the �irst names on the teamsheet for Myrrinho.

LCB: Benoit Wento-Agrotto The footballer that openly dislikes football, Benoit is the model professional. His consistency at the back as part of our three-man defence allows the likes of Elf and Snow to push forward from mid�ield.

LCB: Benoit Wentto-Agrotto

CM: Fabian Elf

CF: Ruudolph van Nistelrooy RM: Evander Snow Known more for his name than his actual ability, the journeyman mid�ielder, as snow so often does, has failed to settle at any of the six clubs he has appeared for.

CM: Jason Yule The former Wimbledon and Charlton legend reinvented himself as a central mid�ielder in the twilight of his career. CM: Fabian Elf Snapped up by Aston Villa for £6million from Leeds in 2009, the slight mid�ielder has been given few opportunities to break into the �irst-team, as the managerial con-

LM: Kevin-Mince Piateng

LF: David Scroogent

veyor belt continued to roll at Villa Park, but is a key part of this side. LM: Kevin-Mince Piateng Just as the ingredients in a mince pie have changed and evolved over time, so too has Kevin-Mince Boateng’s career.

RF: Chris Mosunda The former Newcastle University striker is a headline-writer’s dream. Three consecutive hat-tricks in the weeks before Christmas in the 2009-10 season lead to some cracking Courier headlines including: ‘Once, Twice, Three times Mosunda’ and ‘an early Chrismosunda present’. Journalistic gold.

CF: Ruudolph van Nistelrooy One of the most clinical players to grace the Premier League, Ruudolph showed during his time at PSV, Manchester United and Real Madrid, that regardless of the reindeer around him, he will score goals.

LF: David Scroogent Scroogent lived up to his miserly name on his one and only England performance by stealing a goal from Jermaine Defoe, when the ball was clearly going to cross the line without Scroogent’s emphatic �inish from less than a yard out.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

sportfeature

The year that was: month-by

From England winning The Ashes to Spain’s success in the Davis Cup earlier this January The year started with England retaining the Ashes in the fifth and final test in Sydney. Their victory by an innings and 83 runs was aided by another mesmerising display of batting from Man of the Series Alistair Cook. It was England’s first win Down Under for more than two decades and proved their credentials as they challenged for top spot in the ICC Test Rankings. Lance Armstrong rode his last ever professional cycling race as he brought to the end to a glittering 19 year career, which included a record seven consecutive Tour de France wins, with a performance at the Tour of Down Under. In Tennis, Novak Djokovic won the Australian open beating Andy Murray in straight sets in the first Major final

for three years not to feature Rafael Nadal or Roger Federer to begin the start of an incredible year for the Serbian. Football was gripped with controversy as Sky Sports stalwarts Richard Keys and Andy Gray became embroiled in a sexism row over remarks made about a female linesman, which ended in the pair losing their jobs. The winter transfer window ended with big money moves for Luis Suarez, Andy Carroll and Fernando Torres, who went for a British record transfer of £50 million. Lionel Messi won the Ballon d’Or for the second time in a row confirming his status as one of the greatest players of all time.

February 2011 was certainly a memorable month for Newcastle United fans as the magpies took part in perhaps one of the greatest Premier League comebacks of all time. 4-0 down at half time against the high-flying Gunners, Newcastle fans would have been forgiven for retreating home on a cold winters afternoon. Those who stayed saw a stunning turnaround, Cheick Tiote’s 87th minute wonder strike delighting the home fans. This game was simply the crescendo in an orchestra of great games that weekend as Wolves ended Manchester United’s unbeaten run whilst Wigan beat Blackburn 4-3 and Everton overcame Blackpool 5-3. February also saw some impressive

performances from England in the Six Nations as they beat Wales, Italy and then France as they dominated the competition they would eventually go on to win in March. The years shortest month saw some disappointing news as Manchester United legend Gary Neville retired from football, bringing to an end a career that showed, if nothing else, that great heights can be achieved with next to no talent. Not all was lost though as the former England defender now graces the Sky Sports studio with his elegant turn of phrase and dazzling good looks.

March was a month to savour for the Uni sportsmen as they romped to their fourth consecutive Stan Calvert Cup victory. A resounding 96.2560.75 points split, capped by a victory in the showpiece rugby union match at Gateshead Stadium, ensured that Newcastle retained the bragging rights of the city. Elsewhere, the Cricket World Cup played out throughout the month and by the end it had been confirmed that the final would be played between India and Sri Lanka, who had knocked England out in the quarter finals. There were some memorable moments in the group stage with Ireland and Bangladesh both upsetting Andrew Strauss’ side along with an unbelievable tie between England and India.

The fourth and fifth round of games in the Six Nations saw England complete the Championship win against Scotland before being conclusively beaten by Ireland in Dublin to deny them the Grand Slam. Nevertheless it was seen as an excellent platform for their World Cup campaign later in the year. The F1 calendar was scheduled to start in Bahrain on March 13 but civil unrest caused its postponement and the season therefore began in Australia two weeks later, Sebastian Vettel set the tone for the whole by taking the chequered flag. Pre-race favourite Long Run ridden by Sam Waley-Cohen romped to the Cheltenham Gold Cup ahead of three previous champions. Mike Fuller

The Grand National saw a two and a quarter length win for Ballabriggs around the four and a half miles of Aintree. The race was tight throughout, with Oscar Time close behind up to The Elbow, where jockey Jason Maguire pulled clear and took the race. These two horses were in a class of their own, with Tony McCoy 12 lengths further back on Don’t Push It. What made this win all the more special, was that it marked the first National victory for Donald McCain Jr; whose father Ginger McCain is arguably the greatest trainer in Grand

National History. For those who don’t know, Ginger was the trainer of perennial pub quiz answer Red Rum, who won the race three times in the 1970’s. He also had a fourth winner in 2004 with Amberleigh House, making him one of only two people to have trained four winners of the race. McCain Sr had made his hopes of seeing his son train a National winner before he died public, and this race gave him that opportunity as sadly he died just a few months later.

February

March

April

Miles Reah

Rory Brigstock-Barron Sports Editor

James Docherty

Clockwise from top left: Jason Maguire and Ballabriggs clear the fourth fence on their way to victory in the Grand National in April; Manchester City club captain Carlos Tevez lifts the FA Cup at Wembley in May, their first major trophy since 1976; Rory McIlroy and Darren Clarke proudly show off their US Open and Open trophies that they won in June and July respectively; Lancashire captain Glenn Chapple proudly shows off the County Championship trophy after a dramatic climax to the domestic cricket season in September. All photos: Getty Images

May

It took 35 years, during which time their supporters had endured the heartache of a spectacular fall from grace. 12 years earlier they had been preparing for the play-offs in the third tier of English football but on 14 May 2011, Manchester City secured their first major trophy since 1976 when Ivorian midfielder Yaya Toure scored at Wembley to win the FA Cup. While their Wembley hero may have only been in Manchester for a season, his cup-winning strike was certainly powered by the pain that the club and its supporters had suffered in the preceding 35 years. Earlier in the day Man United had secured a record-breaking 19th league title, but this day belonged to Manchester City, just four days after

City had booked their place in the Champions League for the first time. It was the Champions League that closed the month too as Barcelona followed City in securing a Wembley victory, beating United 3-1 in the final with a performance that cemented their place as one of the finest football teams in the world. Prior to that England’s cricketers got their season underway with a sensational last-session victory in the first test match of the summer against Sri Lanka. With the game heading for a draw, England bowled the tourists out for 82 to snatch an unlikely win.

Rory McIlroy leapt onto the world stage in June, when he won the US Open with considerable style. The first Masters win of his career proved to be a lesson in golf for the other contenders as McIlroy surged to a record breaking win. The victory was made ever sweeter because of his previous collapse at the 2011 Masters tournament. McIlroy was expected to win the Masters after waltzing into the final day of the tournament with a four stroke lead, but the fairytale was ended when he crumbled to defeat after a torrid final performance. On 19 June however, McIlroy proved his extraordinary golfing talent to the world by winning the US Open in Mar-

yland by eight shots, and breaking a number of records in the process. His final score of 16-under par was the lowest ever achieved. The victory was made even better by the fantastic performance of McIlroy throughout, as he drove his way through the competition with some incredible golf, wowing the crowd with fantastic shot after fantastic shot. The performance put McIlroy, and Northern Ireland on the world map as a golfing nation. The competition has to rate as one of sports highlights in 2011, thanks to McIlroy’s fantastic performance. Owen Evans

June

Colin Henrys Sports Editor

July Novak Djokovic’s incredible season continued as he and Petra Kvitova sealed their maiden Wimbledon titles over Rafael Nadal and Maria Sharapova respectively. Cadel Evans triumphed over Andy Schleck in the Tour de France whilst Mark Cavendish sprinted to another remarkable five stage wins gaining the green jersey in the process. In perhaps the biggest fight of the year, David Haye promised big things against Wladimir Klitschko but the bout was unlikely to live up to its considerable hype, Haye lost tamely by a unanimous decision and afterwards blamed a broken toe for his disappointing showing. Rebecca Adlington, Kerri-Anne Payne and Liam Tancock all brought

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

-month review of 2011 month, The Courier looks back at the year’s sporting highlights September With the football season back underway, Novak Djokovic having secured his third Grand Slam of the tennis season and the 2011 Rugby World Cup having kicked-off, you could have been forgiven for missing the last round of County Championship fixtures. However it was on the final day of the season for English cricket’s premier domestic competition that one of the sporting stories of the year played out. Short of money due to ground redevelopments and without an outright Championship win in 77 years, Lancashire had defied expectations to mount a title challenge. As the final day of the season began however, the odds were stacked against them with Warwickshire, playing in Hampshire,

favourites to win instead. What followed however was the stuff of legend. Struggling with a hamstring injury, club captain Glenn Chapple broke through the pain barrier to take two early wickets of their hosts Somerset. Warwickshire meanwhile were being thwarted by Hampshire’s batsmen. Somerset resisted valiantly too, but Lancashire finally bowled them out before hitting 213 runs from just 175 balls to win, as news filtered in that Warwickshire had had to settle for a draw at Hampshire. In front of a large crowd of travelling supporters Lancashire were left to celebrate a most unlikely title win.

The Super League Grand Final kicked off the sporting action in October when Leeds beat St. Helens 32-16 to claim their fifth Super League crown. It was also the month when England secured a place at the 2012 European Championships despite letting slip a two goal lead in another uninspiring performance in Montenegro; Wayne Rooney grabbed unwanted headlines after being sent off for kicking out at Miodrag Džudović to put his own Euro 2012 campaign in doubt. Of the four teams from the British Isles it was Wales who progressed the furthest at the Rugby Union World Cup, eventually losing to France in a closely contested semi-final and finishing fourth overall. England’s cam-

paign was marred by off-pitch controversy including dwarves, drinks, blondes and ferries. Elsewhere, Andy Murray won three consecutive ATP tour titles, including a majestic 3–6, 6–2, 6–0 victory over Nadal, temporarily rising to third in the rankings. In the Premier League, Manchester City proved their title credentials with a resounding 6-1 win at Old Trafford and the England cricket team managed to put an excellent summer behind them and succumb to a 5-0 ODI series whitewash in India, although the women did beat South Africa.

November was a solemn month in sport with the death of boxing great Joe Fraser at the age of 67 and the tragic loss of footballing legend Gary Speed at just 42. Tributes from fellow professionals as well as the sporting world on mass poured out for the two, and we were reminded of the good that can be done through the medium of sport. In tennis the Finals of the ATP tour came to London’s O2 arena and the rankings were turned on their head as the top worlds top three were all ousted by the semi-finals. Britain’s Andy Murray retired with injury after a hard fought defeat against Spaniard David Ferrer, whilst the worlds top

two Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal faded out after an exhausting season. This did not take anything away from the dominant champion Roger Federer who rolled back the years to win the title for the sixth time. Similar dominance was shown by Phil ‘the power’ Taylor who won the World Grand Slam of Darts for the fifth time. Taylor dominated his opponent Gary Anderson in the final, taking it 16-4 with an almost superhuman average in this final game of 109.04.

December saw the England football team drawn in to Group D of next summer’s Euro 2012 tournament alongside France, Ukraine and Sweden. In the football, jokes circulate of a new fragrance doing the Christmas rounds in Manchester: Channel No. 5 after Manchester United are knocked out of the Carling Cup and Champions League in the space of just seven days, while their neighbours Manchester City also fail to progress from the Champions League group stages, meaning both will drop down to the less-illustrious Europa League, with Thursday night Channel Five matches to look forward to.

Spain won Tennis’s Davis Cup after Rafael Nadal produced a marvellous performance to defeat Juan Martin del Potro and Wales’ all-time leading tryscorer Shane Williams retired from international rugby, after his side’s 24-18 loss to Australia. Elsewhere, Tiger Woods won his first tournament in 749 days, and although talk of a return to his best form may be premature, a birdie-birdie on the final two holes at the Chevron World Classic hints that the former World No. 1 could be a force to be reckoned with in 2012. Charlie Scott

October

August

gold medals back from the World Aquatics Championships in Shanghai. Payne became the first British athlete to secure a place at the 2012 Olympics in the process. European football may have been ruing the absence of a major tournament during the summer break but the Copa America provided the usual dose of South American flair with a Luis Suarez inspired Uruguay reigning supreme. The 2011 Open was held at Royal St. George’s and provided an extremely popular winner in Darren Clarke. The Northern Irishman had lead from the second round onward and played superbly to finish 5 shots under when only 4 players finished under par. Mike Fuller

August was a big month for football as the transfer window heated up before it closed on the 31st. Joey Barton was released from Newcastle as people began to question Mike Ashley’s agenda. Premier League legend Robbie Keane joined David Beckham across the Atlantic at LA Glaxay to help form what would be a title winning side. Peter Crouch left Spurs to join Stoke at the Britannia, Craig Bellamy joined Liverpool and Tom Bender moved from Colchester to Accrington Stanley. Despite transfer excitement the start of the Premier League season was overshadowed by the riots, which led to the postponement of Tottenham v Everton. English cricket also received a boost as Andrew Strauss led the test team to the top of the world rankings after beating India in the third test. While the world waited for Sachin Tendulker to score his 100th century, England’s solid performance and India’s under par performance meant that there was a convincing home series win. Martin Johnson’s build up to the world cup was also hampered as Wales defeated England 19-9, with a dislocated right wrist ending Gavin Henson’s hopes of securing a place in the world cup. In America, the relatively unknown Keegan Bradley won his first major at the PGA Championships in Georgia after a three-hole play-off with Jason Dufner. Wills Robinson

Colin Henrys Sports Editor

Josh Duffield

November

December

Rory Brigstock-Barron Sports Editor

featuresport

5 things we’d like to see in 2012 Harry Slavin Sports Editor

The year begins with The Australian Open signalling the start of the new tennis season and British number one Andrew Murray courses his way through the first few rounds before the Brit wins a marathon semi-final in stunning fashion against Novak Djokovic. This sets up a final with Rafael Nadal but unfortunately the British public can only watch on in disgust as a bad-tempered, foul-mouthed Scotsman loses in straight sets. February sees the start of the Rugby Union Six Nations Championships and despite high hopes, England struggle in their early encounters. Preparations for the Scotland game are disturbed as the players are allowed to hire out Jet Ski’s on Loch Ness to hunt down the ‘Loch Ness Monster’. The players once again come under heavy criticism when Mike Tindall leads the squad on a wine tasting tour the night before their match in Italy. Stuart Lancaster resigns in the aftermath of England’s first ever defeat to Italy and after some more soul searching, Rob Andrews decides it is in the RFU’s best interest to give himself a pay rise and poach Andy Robinson back from Scotland. Ronny O’Sullivan causes a stir at the Snooker World Championships in April after turning up at the arena despite failing to qualify. O’Sullivan, who threatens to quit the sport for the 127th time after slipping out of the world’s top 100, claims he is not bothered by his absence from the draw because there is much more to life than snooker. He is later escorted from the arena after attempting to highjack the entrances of three fellow professionals. FA Cup Final fever grips the entire country in May as Mike Ashley puts Newcastle United’s berth in the final up for auction after a hard fought semi-final victory over Chelsea. The news is met with utter disbelief from the Geordie faithful but Managing Director Derek Llambias releases a statement to reassure fans that all income generated from the auction will be put to good use by the club, suggesting that enough money may even be generated to provide Mike Ashley with a new sound proof booth at the recently renamed MoonPig.com Stadium. The London Olympics in August go off without a hitch thanks to the heavy-handed tactics employed by the 10,000 imported US security personnel on the local protestors and miscreants. Inside the stadium, the fans are treated to a spectacle of sensational performances from athletes across the world as records are smashed all over the place. Suspicion is only aroused when Usain Bolt wins his 100m final by only one second and, after a lengthy investigation, all competitors are found to have failed drug testing. London Mayor Boris Johnson takes full credit/blame for the spectacular games by admitting to having given the order to contaminate London’s water supply with performance enhancing drugs, sheepishly claiming he thought only the British athletes would benefit from drinking British water.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

sportfeature

Back of the net - Christmas Special

On the 12th day of Christmas, Youtube gave to me: Tweet(s) of the week

Brazil’s Samba music http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=fRHtq2DTdhk

A clip of Brazil’s footballers when they were at their very best, culminating in a great goal.

9 ladies dancing Joe Hart’s dancing feet http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=LWonUEEoVYc

Hart shows off his dance moves to his roommate and consequently the world, moves which can frequently be found in a Sinners near you.

11 pipers piping The Barry Horns

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=LWonUEEoVYc

Not strictly pipers but still worth a watch, as the iconic Welsh supporters’ band celebrate their third and fourth goals against Norway.

8 maids-amilking

Pedersen milking it

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=ICPyr0q0doY

The most shameful tumble to grace the Premier League, Pedersen does his soft reputation no favours here.

6 geese-alaying

5 gold rings

ITV miss Gosling’s goal

Steve Redgrave wins his �ifth Olympic Gold.

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=PXp9wPgZVOM

Dan Gosling’s de�ining moment in an Everton shirt was missed by the viewing public thanks to a perfectly timed technical glitch.

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=8Zzz37IsRUU

A tribute to one of Great Britain’s Olympic greats, after he won his �ifth gold medal.

10 Lords-aleaping

Colly’s corker at Lord’s http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=1AVs8ywsTTM

The Durham and former England man has taken some sensational catches in his career, and this must rank amongst the best of them.

7 swans-aswimming Eric the Eel

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=3sZp0Bhmq9o

Never had the Olympics seen such a display of perseverance before Eric wowed the crowd in Sydney...

4 Colly birds (sic)

Stan Collymore’s screamer http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=WN2F6WQk8zk

A goal that still gives Tim Flowers nightmares as the ‘keeper gifts Collymore a goal for the Reds.

3 French hens

2 turtle doves

and Alan Partridge in a pear tree

Motty’s World Cup ‘98

FIFA’s dream match

World Cup countdown

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=tjuihw2q_Ts

Everyone loves a montage and Motson’s poignant poem could make anyone want to watch the beautiful game.

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=WT-pNYPYE4g

The most bizarre glitch ever to have surfaced from the EA Sports franchise sees Carroll and Fabianski getting a little closer than usual

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=rG0UACzqW3Y

“Twat! That was liquid football!” Ever wondered what football would be like if Alan Partridge was a commentator? Wonder no more.

-@Sammy_Ameobi

“Ahhh mannn I’ve just discovered a gaping hole around the private area of my one piece...back to primark it is!” (2 December 2011)

“Really bad situation when you’re bursting for the loo and your one piece zip is jammed...yikes!” (6 December 2011)

Newcastle United’s answer to Mario Balotelli experiences problems with his unconventional choice of out�it.

Testing times

1.) Who is the only footballer to have played for his country’s �irst team over four different decades? 2.) Who held the record for fastest champions league hat-trick before B. Gomez’s effort last week? 3.) Who ended Pete Sampras’s 31 match winning streak at Wimbledon in 2001? 4.) Where did Sky Sports legend Chris Kamara begin his playing career? 5.) Who is the only player to score in a Manchester, Merseyside and Glasgow derby? 6.) Who did Roy Jones Junior defeat in his �irst ever word title �ight in 1993? 7.) Who scored the most test runs in the 1990’s? 8.) What was the last title won by Tiger woods before his recent victory in the Chevron World Challenge? 9.) Along with LeBron James, which two new signings did Miami Heat unveil to fans in July 2010? 10.) How many tries did Jonah Lomu score in the 1995 Rugby World Cup semi-�inal against England? 11.) Who is the oldest ever Premier League goal scorer? 12.) Who holds the record for the longest distance goal in the Premier League?

1) Jari Litmanen; 2) Mike Newell; 3) Roger Federer; 4) Portsmouth; 5) Andrei Kanchelskis; 6) Bernard Hopkins; 7) Alec Stewart; 8) The JBWere Masters; 9) Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh; 10) four; 11.)Teddy Sheringham (40); 12; Paul Robinson.

12 drummers drumming

Birthday Week

14 Dec 1979- Michael Owen Forever remembered for his burst and �inish against Argentina in 1998, Owen’s career never perhaps reached the heights it might of, yet he is still part of Manchester United’s squad. 16 Dec 1962- William Perry Kindly nicknamed ‘The Fridge’ due to his considerable size, Perry was one of the most effective defensive linesman in American Football of all time.

17 Dec 1978- Manny Pacquiao Voted 2000s Fighter of the Decade by the Boxing Writers Association of America, and is still regarded by many as the best pound for pound boxer in the world.

The festive period in sport

Christmas Eve: 1889 - Daniel Stover & William Hance patent bicycle with back pedal brake

Christmas day 1972 - England beat India by six wickets in the 1st Test Cricket at Delhi, Geoff Arnold taking an impressive nine wickets in the match.

Boxing Day 1963 - An amazing 66 goals were scored in the old football First Division, Fulham beating Ipswich 10-1 and Blackburn beating West Ham 8-2 away from home just some of the most bizarre of the results of the 10 games played.. New Years Eve 1963 - Dutch master and architect of that marvellous turn, Johan Cruyff won European Footballer of the year.

Born on Christmas day

25 Dec 1957- Chris Kamara (The Second Coming) - One of the most important men in the sporting world, Kammy’s words of wisdom will be keeping us warm on boxing day.

25 Dec 1964 - Gary Mcallister - Undoubtedly one of the most tallented bald players to grace the Premier League, Gary Mac is a legend at Leeds and Liverpool. 25 Dec 1984 - Alistair Cook - A contender for this years BBC Sports Personality of the Year Award. Cook has been England’s outstanding player in the rise to the world number one test ranking, raise a glass for him on Christmas day.

The Longshot

Given the recent freezing temperatures, back there to be snow falling on the hallowed turf at Longbenton to make Christmas Day that bit more enjoyable. Coral are offering marvellous odds of 11/2 for snow to fall in Newcastle on Christmas Day. (Odds from Coral)

11/2

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

Henderson hold their nerve

Carr nets deciding penalty as Hall gain revenge for last year’s cup �inal defeat

Intra Mural Football Wednesday Cup 2nd Rnd. Henderson Hall

Henderson’s Armani Zafar torments the Medics defence at Cochrane Park. Photography: Hubert Lam

Newcastle Medics 1sts 1

IntraMuralsport

The Secret Intra Mural Footballer

#9 Cups, crowds and the winter break

Daniel Carnie at Cochrane Park Having been defeated 5-4 by Henderson Hall only two weeks ago in the Wednesday League, the Medics were keen to exact revenge in this second round cup match at Cochrane Park, in what was a rematch of last year’s �inal. However, it was Henderson who took the spoils again by holding their nerve in a tense penalty shoot-out. The match itself could hardly have been more balanced between the two sides and it was going to take something like penalties to separate them on the day. Despite the bitterly cold conditions, both teams did their part to make it an entertaining game with the prize of a place in the next round at stake. It was the Medics who made the brighter start, keeping possession and spraying the ball around well while also creating one or two chances. Despite their promising opening, however, it was Henderson who took the lead with their �irst real attack after ten minutes. With the wind playing no small part, the ball came over from a corner and it seemed to cause havoc in the Medics defence before being hacked out to Armani Zafar who blasted home a left-footed volley from the edge of the box. The goal seemed to give Henderson a real lift and they had a glorious opportunity to go two up – Liam McAllister appeared to have the simplest of tasks to score, having rounded the keeper, but instead of using his left foot he pivoted 360 degrees to use his right and the chance was gone. The Medics needed a response in the second half and they got exactly that. Joel English missed an opportunity from a tight angle after round-

ing the keeper, but their goal eventually came on the hour mark. The two Henderson Hall centre halves made a hash of a simple ball over the top and Theo Adjeti was allowed to stroke the ball past the helpless keeper. The Medics then went close to going ahead themselves. Josh Davison was unlucky not to score from a viscous free-kick but Rory Davies made a good save to tip it on to the crossbar. With only 10 minutes left, the most contentious moment of the match came. Having made a few somewhat dubious calls throughout the match, the referee was very harsh to disal-

low a Henderson goal for a foul on the keeper from a free kick. If anything, it appeared to be his own man who knocked him over. Henderson continued to press and Captain Matty Allsop’s crossing was now causing the Medics all sorts of problems, nearly setting up Liam McAllister with the winner, but his header went just past the post. 1-1 it �inished and the match went straight to penalties to decide the winner. Having progressed to this round by beating Ecosoccer on penalties, the practice seemed to give Henderson the upper hand as they scored

their �irst three. On the other hand, Davidson and Adjeti missed both of the Medics opening two before Joel English pulled one back. That meant that Toby Carr was left with the responsibility for Henderson Hall and he didn’t disappoint, smashing his penalty just under the crossbar. Henderson will be very pleased with their current form and they take their place in the draw for the next round while the Medics will have to pick themselves up and face up to what is increasingly looking like a trophy-less Wednesday campaign.

�it will certainly make rivals aware of their attacking prowess and on this evidence they’d be a test for any side. With Christmas fast-approaching, Newcastle’s unforgiving winter is well underway and it took no prisoners here; fans, reporters and substitutes alike suffered from the bitter cold with only the on-pitch action to keep them warm and thankfully the Lokomotiv team was on �ire. It was Roman Villa who glowed �irst; frontman Ollie Grif�iths beat both the onrushing goalkeeper and chasing defender to a loose ball in the box before prodding home. The Roman candle was burning brightly but sadly their wick burnt out as Lokomotiv stepped up the pace, with Tom Bamford’s disallowed goal for a clear handball a sign of intent from the second division side. Lokomotiv were soon back in the game courtesy of their skipper Sam Turnock. Finding himself in far too much space in the Villa penalty box,

Turnock curled the ball over ‘keeper Sean Ibson in emphatic fashion to bring the tie level. When questioned after the match, Turnock said his shot was what he likes to refer to as the ‘FIFA �inesse �inish’. Lone striker Scott Bowman showed his exceptional pace when he latched onto a long ball over the top and �inished past Ibson to send his team into the break leading 2-1. At this point the Villa team were very unlucky to be behind having controlled large sections of the game in part thanks to an excellent mid�ield display from captain Rob Grady. The second period was a different matter, however, as Lokomotiv ran riot and scored six unanswered goals to put the tie beyond their opponents. Whilst the scoreline re�lects the quality of the Lokomotiv �inishing, this Roman Villa side who have swept all before them in the league this season will not be on the end of a thrashing like this for some time. Scott Bowman completed his hat-trick with two

headed goals before being substituted and Josh Robinson found himself on the end of another lofted ball to put his team ahead 5-1. The sixth goal was without question the �inest of the glut; mid�ielder Jamie Bishop played a one-two on the edge of the box before scooping the ball over the unfortunate Ibson with a �inish that was reminicsent of Karel Poborsky’s goal against Portugal at Euro ’96. If Bishop’s goal was the icing on the cake, impact sub Ollie Shipley supplied not one but two cherries for good measure, bagging a late brace to all but end the game as a contest. The Villa supporters had seen enough and their entourage traipsed off to �ind warmth and to forget about their team’s dismantling. The game was highly forgettable for Villa who will be left hoping their �irst choice defensive duo return quickly so they can continue their promotion march when they resume their league campaign against Jesmondino next week.

Villa crash out to Lokomotiv Intra Mural Football Wednesday Cup 2nd Rnd. Roman Villa

Lokomotiv

Josh Duf�ield at Cochrane Park Lokomotiv were in scintillating form against their lower league opponents and crowned a professional performance with some superb individual goals. Speaking after the match, the Lokomotiv players said they’d be disappointed not to reach the �inal with one going as far as saying their hands will be on that trophy at the end of the season. Speculation aside, this result against a formidable Roman Villa out-

Do Intra Mural managers care about cup competitions? That’s the question on everybody’s lips this week, be it in bars, clubs, dressing rooms or the Robinson Library. Every year we see Premier League managers ‘forfeiting’ - as the Blackburn manager Steve Kean so tactfully put it - cup games in order to focus on their performances in the league. The latest round of IM cup �ixtures yielded few ‘cupsets’, suggesting that managers at Newcastle have begun to feel the same as the under-�ire Kean, resting players before their �inal league games, or possibly at the player’s request, with some eyeing a lucrative move in the upcoming January transfer window. Fans seemed to predict their manager’s behaviour with attendance �igures halved to just two people for a mid-week game, the hoards of fans choosing to stay indoors rather than tackle the ferocious weather. Fingers crossed that, despite the freezing temperatures, the last round of Intra Mural games will go ahead this week. We’re playing one of the few (and by few I really mean few) teams that we have actually beaten this season, and have high hopes of clinching the double over them. Unlike The FA, fortunately Newcastle Uni have acknowledged the value of a winter break and managers across the divisions have high yet deluded hopes that their stars will return after Christmas both invigorated and in shape. Realistically, the chances of them being either, let alone both, are stacked against them. Free accommodation, food, and alcohol are all far too appealing for Intra Mural players to make any kind of effort to stay in shape. I’m contemplating getting in touch with Kolo Toure to see where his wife gets her diet pills, as, despite resulting in a lengthy ban, I imagine they’ll do the job for a student (especially as drug-testing at Intra Mural level is non-existent as far as I know). The board have promised the manager horrendously limited funds for the transfer window in January, with our not-so-lucrative sponsor failing to stump up the cash. Therefore our squad will look the same in January, albeit much fatter. We’ve found ourselves caught up in the thick of a relegation battle, and it’s up to us to get ourselves out of there and back into the safe, uncomplicated world of midtable obscurity.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

sportIntraMural

Untied put Combined in a tangle

Intra Mural Football Wednesday Cup 2nd Rnd. Dyslexic Untied

Combined Honours

Simon Scho�ield at Longbenton 3G It took all of 48 seconds for Dyslexic to breach Honours’ defence as they romped their way to comfortable cup win on the Longbenton 3G. Simon Scho�ield snaked inside from the right after a lovely �lick-on header by Dominic Robson put him through on goal and he �inished with aplomb into the bottom left corner for his fourth Wednesday cup goal of the season. The low sun in the sky wreaked havoc for both teams with many passes failing to simply �ind a team mate, a period of unsightly and ungainly football ensued until the sun ducked behind a cloud and Dyslexic could continue with their assault. Another brisk passing move saw ‘Torres’ Windle thread through an inch perfect pass for Ben Wheelhouse who tucked home the second. Dyslexic could sense a big win and a chance for several players to get off the mark for the season but chances

were being spurned on a regular basis. Robson was one such player who was guilty of missing several good opportunities and along with Wheelhouse and Loz Jackson started trying to force the issue with numerous, speculative long range shots. The enjoyment was sapped out of the game for Dyslexic however when a recklessly poor timed tackle by Honours centre half Chris Gill shackled Untied’s Windle, who had to be carried off in severe discomfort. The presence of their captain, who has only just recently returned from injury, will be sorely missed for the upcoming league match against Henderson Hall next week. Untied were left dismayed at only �inding themselves two goals to the good at half time after dominating possession and territory for effectively the whole half. Robson was to steal the show in the second half with a four goal haul and extend his impressive goal scoring record to ten in his last nine games. His �irst came courtesy of a horror show from the Honours ‘keeper, Robson’s tame effort wasn’t dealt with by the goalkeeper, who watched on in embarrassment as the ball bobbled into the back of the net. Dyslexic were into the grove now with even standin captain Chris Smith taking his foot off the pedal and encouraging some free-�lowing football. Robson’s second was a classy affair; receiving the

ball inside after good work by winger Freddie Rose, the centre forward proceeded to cleverly turn and chip the keeper from 20 yards out. At 4-0 Untied continued to lay siege on Combined Honours’ box and Robson added his third and fourth midway in the second half slamming the ball home from six yards after an inch perfect cross from Rose and an easy poacher’s goal when the keeper spilled Wheelhouse’s shot. At 6-0 Honours decided to go down swinging and attempted to be more adventurous in their play. A Guy shot being the pick of the bunch of their attacking ventures, which went wildly over to round off a dismally disappointing day. There was still time for Rose to get on the score sheet with yet more woeful keeping to blame. Receiving the ball out wide on the right by-line, Rose, who was running out of space, swung his right foot and the ball dribbled to the near post with the keeper falling over the ball. It is most likely to be his one and only right foot goal in his career and also his most fortuitous. So often an option out wide Rose again collected the ball from Scho�ield and advanced from the right to whip in his second into the bottom left to round off an 8-0 win. There was to be no giant killing this time with Dyslexic proceeding to the quarter-�inals and will have to be at their impeccable best to make it to

Dyslexic players resorted to showboating during their emphatic win Photography: Moises Bedrossain

the �inal. For Combined Honours the score line served as a reminder of the gulf in class between the First and Third Division. Some solid performances exempli�ied the gulf in class,

Untied’s Will Southall put in a mature, stalwart performance at centre back, but the day belonged to Robson, who once again underlined his class in front of goal.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

IntraMuralsport

Shagther romp to Quarter Final place New

hist FC suffer upset as Thornton’s chocolate �ingers gift wrap Senseless progress to next

Intra Mural Football Wednesday Cup 2nd Rnd. Shagther Senseless 5 Newhist FC

Robbie Cachia at Cochrane Park The old-fashioned centre half has died with likes of David Luiz, Phil Jones and Daniel Agger showing you have to be skilled on the ball, not only in the tackle. You can now add Shaghter’s Daniel ‘Marauder’ Sleath to the list after a performance centre halves could only dream of. Two goals in a man-of-the-match performance saw Sleath justify his forward ventures with a goal in each half. Senseless came with an appetite for victory against Division Two strugglers Newhist, who have only managed one win this season, and they started the match positively, playing decent football on a narrow pitch, Montgomery and Mcclune once again proving to be the go-to-men down the �lanks. However, Senseless failed to take their chances and found themselves behind against the run of play; an error from skipper Cachia led to the opener as a neat one-two created time in the area for Jacob Murphy to sweep home and put Newhist a goal up.

Unfazed, Shagther continued to dominate and the equaliser inevitably arrived. Patrick Woods found himself with time and space in the box, poking the ball home to level things up. Woods’ goal provided the catalyst Senseless needed as belief that a ‘cupset’ was on the cards surged through the team. Minutes later they found themselves 2-1 ahead, from one centre half to the other, Cachia whipped in a corner that was sweetly met by the on rushing Sleath to score his �irst ever goal in Intra Mural football. Ten minutes before half-time the score went to 3-1. The ever-impressive Garrood in mid�ield, took a shot that was too hot for James Thornton to handle as he parried the ball into the net. The game went into the break with Shagther in control, Newhist looking like the side in the league below. In the second half Newhist had the wind and the sun in their favour and that showed as they controlled the game. Shagther looked solid until a mix up from Garrood and Sleath led to a one-on-one with the keeper; Lamont’s outstretched hand held the ball up enough for Sleath to miraculously clear it off the line with some great athleticism. However, from the resulting corner, Newhist found themselves right back in it. Luke Krumin’s corner, catching the wind, went directly into the net, leaving right back Holland helpless to deal with the ball on the goal line. The goal spurred Shagther on to kill the game off, which eventually hap-

pened 20 minutes from time. A goalkeeping error from a Montgomery cross allowed substitute Declan Ferry to get his name on the scoresheet, touching the ball over the line on his return from an ankle injury to score his fourth in as many matches. The best of the goals was yet to

come as Sleath had the �inal say on what was a dream performance from the centre back. Marauding forward to the anger of his fellow centre half and skipper Cachia, Sleath �ired home from 25 yards out after Ferry’s �ine ball. The celebration matched the performance, with complete shock on

equal to their efforts until Sam Alliss grabbed a late consolation with a de�lected strike. There was still time for Dave “The Ballerina” Morrison to �luff his lines with a fresh air kick when he seemed destined to score but the Jagerbomb players were able to see out the game, conserving their energy for the �inal after their impressive �irst half display. After a 1-0 win over Eleventh Heaven, courtesy of an Alex Auld goal, Not In Your Mum’s Forest provided the opposition for FC Jagerbomb in the much anticipated �inal. The teams had to put aside issues of fatigue and pre-match burgers as they prepared for their second match and the conclusion of the tournament. Forest provided stiffer competition for the much-fancied Jagerbomb as both teams vied for an early advantage and put in some overzealous tackles which required charismatic veteran referee Steve Catchpole to use all his cheerful experience to defuse the situation and calm down the �laring tempers. The star quality that was evidently plentiful in both teams was demonstrated by Forest skipper Jess Walklin midway through a cagey �irst period when he scored a wondergoal; Walklin glided past the opposition defence before cutting in from the left and placing a curling shot past the outstanding Parnaby. Forest then controlled the game through to the half-time whistle showing precisely why they topped their league with robust defending and proli�ic chance creation leaving their frustrated opponents to take pot-shots from range. The second half was all about the

brotherly combination of Phil and Matt Leddington-Hill, however, as Jagerbomb swept aside their talented adversaries to claim the trophy. It was Phil who started the scoring by exchanging passes with Matt on the edge of the box before smashing an unstoppable shot into the roof of the net. Not to be outshone by his brother, team captain Matt put away his side’s second goal, converting the rebound after James Chadwick stormed through the opposition defenders only to see his shot hit the underside of the crossbar. As the Forest team pushed forward for an equaliser, Chadwick released Phil LeddingtonHill who �inished low into the bottom right corner to put the win beyond doubt. His brother spoke proudly after the match and his �irst 7-a-side title, saying “the best team won, the boys done well.” Jagerbomb deserved their win but Not In Your Mum’s Forest will hope that they can �ind that extra scoring touch when the second semester �inals day comes round. Smegma put the disappointment of their season’s �irst defeat behind them to run out 6-4 winners in the 3rd place play-off, although the game itself was played with a carnival atmosphere and more than the regulation 7 players per team. With extra players came extra goals as Tom Conroy, Jamie Hine, Ross Towers and Tom Fishball were on the scoresheet for Amit Tauro’s team. Arran Parsons also bagged a hat-trick and Roddy Biggs scored the other goal for an Eleventh Heaven side who felt unlucky not to be in the �inal after their closely fought semi-�inal.

Zack Goddard Ecosoccer

Top Bagger: Senseless ﬁnd the net once again during their last sixteen tie with Newhist FC Photography: Hubert Lam

his face; Sleath revelled in a great performance for himself and the team. Across on the Cochrane Park pitch two, Shagther’s players watched on anxiously to see Henderson Hall win on penalties, their opponents in the quarter �inals. Surely another giant killing is not on the cards.

Brotherly love puts Forest to bed as Jagerbomb FC claim seven-a-side title Player of the Month Intra Mural Football 7-a-side Josh Duf�ield at Longbenton 3G A cold afternoon turned into a freezing evening as the eagerly awaited Intra Mural 7-a-side �irst semester �inals day got underway with FC Jagerbomb taking on Smegma on Longbenton’s 3G pitch. Jagerbomb were looking to win a third title in four years while their opponents were making their debut at the competition’s climax. Both teams had remained unbeaten throughout the regular season but one of the teams was destined to lose their excellent record in the knockout phase. The format of the game allows for fast-paced attacking football, something the Jagerbomb players exhibited in �ine style, racing into a 4-0 lead in the �irst half; Oliver Hilton scored twice with team-mates Phil Leddington-Hill and Sanj Pugal claiming the other two goals. Hilton was allowed too much space and �inished well from close range for both of his goals whilst Phil Leddington-Hill �inished off a swift attack with a smart left foot �inish. Pugal had earlier hit the post and twice tested Smegma stopper Will Anderson before he �inally got the goal his performance deserved. Jagerbomb were on top but it wasn’t all plain-sailing for the team in the tightest of tight blue tops because Smegma were creating opportunities, but ‘keeper Dan Parnaby proved

Zack Goddard has been awarded The Courier Intra Mural player of the month award for November after a series of impressive displays for his club Ecosoccer. The winger lit up the Second Division with some breathtaking runs and clinical �inishing for the promotion chasers, Goddard �inding the back of the net on no less than eight occasions in four matches, including a hat-trick in a 7-1 win over Boca Seniors. Goddard gave The Courier s o m e emotional words as

he accepted his award, claiming this was the perfect way to cap off his regrettably brief Intra Mural Season. “I am now going on placement for four months so wont be able to play for Ecosoccer again this year so it has been an honour to wear the Ecosoccer jersey.” Goddard will now be entitled to complimentary drinks in Sam Jacks and our sponsor will also include one free shot in the dentist chair. Goddard’s teammate Josh Batham was a close second to the award, with Tom Islip of Third Division Roman Villa completing the top three.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

sportIntraMural Intra Mural Hockey round-up

Football Wednesday 11-a-side

Loyalty is obviously paramount to good team ethos. However, if it’s a toss up between a wasted trip and making dragging yourself out of bed on a Sunday morning worthwhile, it rather diminishes in value. So, when NUSSC came up against Black Panthers last Sunday and the slinky big cats found themselves short on numbers it didn’t take much persuasion to see two NUSSC players up sticks and change camps. These shuf�led sides produced an excitingly evenly matched display. To the Panthers advantage NUSSC Captain Sam ‘sinbin’ Harris Wright found himself pushed back into defence, keeping his winding, ball greedy runs to a minimum. However, not happy to remain out of the spotlight the whole game, one �lawless dash up the pitch found him with space in the ‘D’, if only to hammer the ball over the cross bar. De�inite improvement on last game’s topping the ball at least. Good defensive tracking back from fresher Tobey Hughes kept the Panthers at bay, whilst quick mid�ield work from Lucy Russell, Christian Davies and Floss Kirk opened more chances up front. However, the only true opportunity of the game fell to the Panthers when a hard cross found a big cats stick on the P spot for a one touch de�lection into the bottom left corner. Unluckily in was in that moment that ‘keeper Drew Johnston choose to pull out of the bag a career de�ining save that to label sensational would be deemed derogatory. Some say he has feline blood, others that he is always whole split second faster at life. Either way, surely this boy cannot have anything more to offer? Due to a cancellation the only other game seen that Sunday was between The Gunners and Toon Raiders. The overall far more dominating side, a strong Uni presence from the Raiders in the form of Ben Gowing, Clare Shepherd and Jenna Watt amongst others found them with a comfortable 3-0 win in their pocket.

Division 1

Intra Mural Netball round-up

Still unbeaten Uni Hockey continue their fantastic run at the top of the league after annihilating RRB1 22-1 who still remain rock-bottom of the league, and at the close of 2011 have conceded 125 goals yet continue to persevere with beaming smiles and a commendable spirit. Mansoc who are now six points behind Uni Hockey and move in to second place, after a 15-11 victory over Net Assets who now sit close third in the table with 18 points after being leap frogged by last weeks opponents. Biology Netball lie in fourth following a tough 10-10 draw with CHS who remain in sixth place. The draw between Biology and CHS prevented Leazes ladies from moving up the table after their dominant 16-5 victory over seventh place Agrics B Holding their position as top of the later league, Netball Ninjas are eight points clear of Agrics after a 15-6 victory over CHS who sit in fourth with 12 points. Polly’s Dollies secured a comfortable 20-8 win against NUSSC and are now four points clear of CHS after their loss. NUSSC lie in sixth, four points adrift of Chem Eng Chem Eng obtained the four point advantage with a 12-5 victory over The History Girls who fought hard for their �irst victory of the season but still sit at the foot of the table, yet to score any points.

Netball 4pm-5pm

Team

Pld

Pts

Uni Hockey

Intra Mural W D L F A <<<<>>> round-up 8 7 0 1 131 41

Barca Law Na

Mansoc

Henderson Hall

Net Assets

108

Dyslexic Untied

Biology Netball

Newcastle Medics 1sts

Leazes Ladies

Crayola

CHS

Agrics B

RRB1

125

Agrics B Leazes Ladies

5 16

Mansoc Net Assets

15 11

Biology Netball CHS

10 10

Uni Hockey RRB1

22 1

Team

Aftermath

Castle Leazes

Top Goalscorers

7: Dave Eccles (Aftermath) 5: Dave Edwards (Medics) 4: Chris Kay (Medics)

11: Jamie Hurworth (Barca) 9: Chris McKee (Barca)

Division 2 Team

Pld

Pts

Newcastle Medics 2nds

Boroussia Forsyth

Lokomotiv

Ecosoccer

The Hurricanes

Newhist FC

Boca Seniors

Ar U Shavin A Laugh

Top Goalscorers

10: Archie Norman (Forsyth) 8: Adam Duckworth (H’canes) 8: Alex Foster (Lokomotiv)

12: Zack Goddard (Ecosoccer) 10: Josh Batham (Ecosoccer)

Division 3 Team

Pld

Pts

Roman Villa FC

Politic Thistle

Shagther Senseless

Brown Magic FC

Jesmondino FC

NCL Galacticos

Combined Honours

Newcastle Dynamos

Top Goalscorers 9: James Dunn (P Thistle) 8: Ollie Grifﬁths (Roman Villa)

5 0

Boca Seniors NCL Galacticos

10 1

Brown Magic FC Politic Thistle

4 (p) 4

Combined Honours Dyslexic Untied

0 8

5pm-6pm Team

Pld

Pts

Netball Ninjas

Agrics

113

Polly’s Dollies

CHS

Chem Eng

NUSSC

The History Girls

Netball Ninjas CHS

15 6

NUSSC Polly’s Dollies

8 20

5 12

The History Girls Chem Eng

Rugby Union Division 1 Pld

Pts

Armstrong

347

Titans

172

Southern Fairies

186

Agrics 1

126

Engines

111

104

Larrikins

114

Cheeky Ladies

115

161

Agrics 2

221

New Uni Freshers

224

Medics

209

7: Lewis Cockerill (B Magic) 6: Rob Grady (Roman Villa) 6: Tom Islip (Roman Villa)

Lokomotiv Roman Villa FC

Pts

Team

Cup Round Two Aftermath Newcastle Dynamos

Pld

8 1

Agrics 2 Armstrong

0 45

Newcastle Medics 1sts 1 Henderson Hall (p) 1 Shagther Senseless Newhist FC

5 2

The Courier Online Check out www.thecourieronline.co.uk every week for up-todate league tables, exclusive match reports and round-up’s of all of the University’s Intra Mural competitions.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

BUCSsport

Mixed bag for Motorsport Soc Paul Abson On a cold and dark morning in late November four members of the Motorsport Society represented Newcastle University at Warden Law near Sunderland for the British Universities Karting Championship Northern Qualifier. The day started early in the morning, arriving at the course whilst still dark, and after signing on for the day it was time to learn the track, this involved walking around the 1200m former British Championship circuit carefully inspecting each corner for the perfect line and any imperfections that may unsettle the driver, as well as taking clear notes of overtaking places and reference points for braking. After a drivers’ briefing it was time to collect the kart and head out on track for the two hours scheduled practice session, with the track still being damp, greasy and cold, many of the drivers struggled to stay on the track, culminating in many spins and crashes as drivers found the limit of what was possible. The qualifier consisted of six races, four individual 25 minute sprint races and two shared one hour endurance races requiring two fuel stops with driver changes. The first race had the honour of being tackled by Newcastle’s former captain Aidan Spink, starting the rolling grid from 14th; he unfortunately suffered a rocky start and dropped several places, resulting in starting the third lap in 23rd, however he managed to fight and scrap with the other drivers throughout

the entire race, at one point climbing into 19th place, but eventually finished the race in a solid 20th position, above the qualifying cut off of 24th. Only seven minutes after the end of the race it was time to start the second race. This time it was the turn of the captain Paul Abson, who after initially having being allocated the fourth grid position, benefitted from the absence of York to start the race at the front of the grid. After a tricky start to the race, having a lost a place going into the first corner avoiding a new driver making a daring attempt up the wet inside and nearly taking out the front row, the position was quickly retaken by the second corner in a cutback. The next target was first spot and the chance of a win and after several laps of catching and following the leader (Oxford Brookes), a lunge up the inside of the last corner on the third lap resulted in Newcastle taking the lead, although this was not to last and by the ninth lap the lead had been retaken by Oxford Brookes. They managed to clear the lapped traffic much more effectively than Newcastle who eventually finished in second place, seven seconds behind the winning driver, but over 30 seconds ahead of the next placed driver. Next in line to drive were the two newcomers to the team Joe Bargh, and Dimitrios Chaniotis who competed in the third and fourth races respectively, unfortunately they were not able to repeat the previous success but still managed to finish ahead of several other drivers, which is respectable considering their limited

Newcastle’s Paul Abson (44) on his way to earning second place Photography: Stu Stretton Photography (www.stustretton.com)

experience. In the endurance race mistakes in the pit stops, and the change of a kart meant that the team suffered and only managed to achieve 21st and 26th respectively. Overall this was still good enough to place Newcastle 21st out of 29 teams, finishing above both teams from Nottingham as well as teams from Leeds, Herriot Watt and Birmingham Universities. The next event will be a championship race at Teesside Autodrome in late February, where we are hoping to achieve a win,

and improve upon our performance. The Championship uses Club 100 karts, the most powerful arrive and drive karts in the country, capable of accelerating from 5 to 60mph in 4.5s seconds and can achieve top speeds of 70mph. There are nine rounds between February and April at tracks throughout the country, in which the Newcastle team is now eligible to compete. The championship includes drivers from various motorsports backgrounds including Super 1, MSA level

karting and Formula 3 and the tracks in this year’s calendar include Buckmore Park and Clay Pigeon; where drivers such as Anthony Davidson, Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton raced in their karting years. If you think you have what it takes to compete then don’t hesitate to contact the team captain Paul Abson at his university email address p.abson@newcastle.ac.uk.

Rowing machines: NUBC Mac’s men Manimpress in Indoor Champs up and dominate Indoor Rowing Lizzie White in Durham

Making the cut into Newcastle’s most successful club after a vigorous trial period, 20 girls began this term training for NUBC Novice Women. With rowing being the ultimate strength and endurance sport, there is no doubt that the intense training schedule came as a rude awakening to all our systems. Southern skins had to quickly acclimatise to the cold northerly winds that sweep across the unforgiving Tyne River! Additionally, taking on eight or nine training sessions a week including water training, early morning weights and numerous ergs meant our bodies were soon suffering from the dreaded “loading process.” However, as a squad, our strength and stamina have developed and we have come together both on and off the water as a team. Due to the determination and commitment every girl has shown so far, we found ourselves embarking on our first challenge of the season - The North East Indoor Rowing Championships, held at Maiden Head Sports centre in Durham. We were joined by the other three squads from NUBC- both senior

squads and our fellow novice boys’ squad. Faced with 16 ergs patiently waiting for us to attack the 2km and with crowds gathering, the daunting competition began. With fierce rival Durham University at our side , NUBC attacked the ergs with great intent and consequently pulled some impressive performances out of the bag. Sam Arnot dominated the Mens’heavy weight categroy with a winning performance of 6.00.5 seconds. Powerful performances were demonstrated by many of the senior women scoring personal bests over 2km, however Gemma Hall led the way in the lightweight category with a new P.B of 7.19.4 seconds. An exciting battle ensued between beginner men Alex Winter and Danny Tyler who scored 6.44.9seconds and 6.45.2 seconds respectively. However it was Ronan Mellows who stood out on his debut performance with a time of 6.40s. Finally Kathryn Boyd of the beginner women also deserves credit for an outstanding time of 7.43.0 seconds on her first rowing challenge. Congratulations to all who represented the club. Undoubtedly it was a tough start to the season, however all squads showed that we are fierce competition for our neighbouring rivals this year. The boat club’s attention is now focused upon dominat-

Men’s Waterpolo Tom Connolly at Sports Central

Kathryn Boyd impressed for NUBC Photography: Michael Hughes

ing performances on the water in the New Year and for the Novice girls the next challenge is BUCS beginner head. I am certain we will drive together as a team building on the solid foundations we have formed to achieve some impressive results this year.

The Men’s Waterpolo team hosted St Andrews and Lancaster in the first round of their BUCS campaign on Saturday. The Royals were wary of the ability of the recently relegated St Andrews and, having narrowly missed out on promotion last season, knew that they needed a top performance. The competition kicked off with a comprehensive victory for the Scots beating Lancaster 22-3, after the losing side’s keeper took a blow and had to leave the pool injured with a bloody eye and broken nose. Losing their first choice keeper left the Lancashire team vulnerable going into their game with the home side and the Royals started brightly with captain Stuart Mac Manus scoring a hat-trick within the first three minutes of play. Cypriot BUCS debutant Alexis Georgiou then added two more to the tally. The visitors hit back however as they capitalised on Gordon Pearson’s sin binning leaving the score 7-1 at the end of the first quarter. A flurry of well worked counter attacks opened up a 15 goal advantage to Newcastle going into the final quarter, including a couple of goal keeping

howlers giving Ralph Baker two. Luke Watkins and former GB international Michael Grantham both added a pair in the final quarter and the game was sealed with a superb assist from Pearson leaving Tom Connolly to find the top corner and wrap up a 24-5 win. Confidence was high for Newcastle entering the final game against the rested St Andrews, however an early man down for the home team allowed the Scots to edge in front, the Royals got swiftly back on top with timely collaborations from national league duo Mac Manus and Georgiou to finish the first quarter 2-1 up. Newcastle remained on top with further goals from Clarke, Grantham, Georgiou, Mac Manus and Northumbria signing Mark Gabrielle. The visitors, struggling to beat Newcastle keeper James Hillmen, only managed one goal per quarter in first three leaving the home side 8-3 up going into the fourth and final phase. The Royals onslaught continued, winning the final quarter 3-1 which perhaps should have been 3-2 as Pearson found himself in the sin bin once more however the Scot’s failed to capitalise. The 11-4 win was a great result for Newcastle, leaving them top of their group with a game to play. MVP was awarded to goalkeeper Hillmen for a fine display between the posts.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

sportBUCS

Howatson hat-trick gifts Royals victory in a close Christmas cracker at Longbenton Ladies Hockey

Newcastle 1sts Manchester 2nds

5 4

Alice Hogg at Longbenton On the seventh day of Christmas, NULHC were handed a 5-4 victory over Manchester Seconds at Longbenton, a long deserved early gift to mark the season halfway point. Despite the lack of snow, spirits were no less festive, especially those of Liz Shedden, still high off her success in a hard fought mince pie-eating competition the previous night. A start reminiscent of the sluggishness experienced post-Christmas dinner, the Firsts took time to defrost into the match, allowing King Herod and his Manc minions a chance to attack the inn. The defence dispersed, leaving goalkeeper Rachel Wilson as defenceless as baby Jesus. The Royals were proving themselves worthy of little more than a few lumps of coal this year. However, blessed by the arrival of the three wise men on the sideline to offer their support, Newcastle were spurred on to regain an even score line. Nicki Mollison nailed a right Christmas cracker, her powerful shot placed mid backboard with the precision one would have when placing the angel on top of the tree. Erika Coakley and Suzanne Hill, a pairing reminiscent of Dancer and Prancer, worked well up the right hand side to find Alice Hogg. However, she ,as out of place in midfield as the Easter bunny at Christmas time, couldn’t quite find the Manchester goal. Gold, Frankincense and Myer running low, Manchester once again found the inn unguarded by angels and slipped the ball over the Royals’ goal line. As with every Christmas, this match was one of give and take and for none was this truer than Charlotte Howatson, stealing as many

goals as the Grinch does Christmas presents. Not long were the Royals behind before she fired a rebounding ball back into the visitor’s goal to even the scoreline at 2-2. Like King Herod, having heard prophesies of a god-like presence Manchester intensified their fight and went on a tyrannous attack in the closing minutes of the half, wining a short corner. This was successfully converted, leaving Newcastle as shocked as Mary was with her immaculate conception when they flocked like shepherds to the half time benediction. The second half started with Newcastle being almost blinded by the Star of Bethlehem, yet it guided them to victory in the end. Further goal stealing by ‘The Grinch’ Howatson turned the game around and had the Royals ahead for the first time, securing herself the joy of a hat trick. Yet Manchester were not going to go down without a fight. Newcastle appeared as stuck as the snowman before the clock strikes midnight, and allowed Manchester once again to walk into the D and nab their presents from the grotto. Newcastle’s festive spirit, spurred on by the thought of mulled wine later that evening, wouldn’t even let the Scrooge of an umpire upset them as he handed ‘The Grinch’ her comeuppance in the final minutes of the game, sending her to the igloo-like sin bin. With 10 men, like Santa and his reindeer, Newcastle continued with their quest to have all the presents delivered by dawn. Relief came when Rachel ‘clemclem’ Clements, clearly spurred on by her whiskey and carrots, supplied the goods with a last minute finisher. The closing minutes passed with the anticipation of the night before Christmas, the final whistle coming with the elation of the bells on Christmas morning. Wrapping up the half season with a jubilant win, has Newcastle wishing not only for a white Christmas, but a flurry of successful results to come.

In a close battle Newcastle managed to edge past Manchester 2nds Photography: Moises Bedrossian

NWR run riot in Bradford Women’s Rugby

Newcastle 2nds Bradford 1sts

45 0

Sophie Raine at Bradford On December 7 NWR Seconds finally got their first BUCS game against Bradford, due to others being cancelled to bad weather. As the teams kicked off, the hail stopped but the wind was hazardous for Bradford whose kick off was gusted backwards and didn’t make the mark. However, due to the conditions this was not surprising and few of the kicks obtained the distance they would normally have done. This gave NWR procession, which allowed the forward pod of Danni Shield and Rachel O’Neill to start the counter attack although the amount of mud on the pitch made gripping and running slow as studs were ineffective. The referee didn’t show so the coach

from Bradford stepped up. A fair game was promised, however some of the decisions were harsh on the NWR pack. With imaginary knock-ons, a lot of minor error and Bradfords’ faults going unnoticed it was disheartening for the team. However relief came in the form of a good scrum from hooker Katie McEvoy who used her experience from the previous warmup friendly to hook back every single ball. The ball popped out at flanker Pat Lapierre’s feet and she kicked up the pitch, demonstrating her football skills and scored the first try. The restart kick went in to second row Rhian Hockey’s hands, giving her space to sprint up with the ball and attack the solid wall of Bradford defence. This attack caused a very high tackle by Bradford’s tall captain who somehow managed to have both feet off the ground, but by this point the ball was with Newcastle flanker Ami. Excellent ground was made, and NWR were close to the try line again, with a scrum down and fantastic pick and go from number eight, Jen ‘the machine’

Richards, the next phase allowed McEvoy to drive the ball over the try line. However the referee asked for the ball to be released not noticing she was over due to lack of clear markings on the pitch. Number five, Sally Hall got the next restart but soon after Bradford were rewarded a penalty which resulted in a scrum. With the scrum being won again and excellent ball protection from Richards, the ball went securely out to winger Julia, who ate up the ground with a two on one attack, and a pass back inside to number 12, Amanda Dalby for her first try for NWR. By this point the ball was covered in mud, making kicking and catching extremely difficult. Bradford rucked over to obtain the ball and kept procession to over half way with good breaks from the back line. When the ball came loose from a tackle NWR dived on it and secured it for an attack up the pitch. A lot of forward balls were used and the ball landed in the hands of number one, O’Neill for

the last try of the first half leaving the score at 20-0. Hoping to improve in the second half, Bradford attacked and tested the defence of NWR. After a strong scrum down, number 13, Lauren Wallace, got the ball and ate up the muddy ground with surprising ease to score the first try of the second half. Bradford were under pressure again straight after the kick off when Newcastle hooker, McEvoy stole the ball and ran down the pitch to score another try. The dominance of NWR was clear and Bradford seemed to have lost the fight they came out with at the beginning of the second half. With scrums getting sloppy, the away side’s number three didn’t bind correctly and was naturally hurting O’Neill in the scrum. This almost led to a fight with the Bradford prop taking a swing before Captain Livvy intervened and asked the referee to double check the props binding. With another Bradford scrum being expertly stolen by McEvoy, the ball

popped out at flanker Lapierre’s feet who managed to snake diagonally across the pitch to find the hole in the defence. Lapierre then passed to winger Natasha who seemed to want to get her white shirt dirty and took the ball in to tackle allowing a reset of the attacking line. A quick ball out to the backs in the 10 meter line allowed Wallace to dive over the try line. Playing into the wind had no effect on NWR’s pace or passing abilities. Bradford were punished at the restart again when their kick-off went straight into the arms of Livvy, who ran the ball up the touch line from halfway to the posts, leaving the competition behind like Usain Bolt. This wasn’t the last try of game and with only 10 minutes left in the game and a break from McEvoy led to a perfectly placed inside pop to Amanda Dalby who scored her second try of the game. With the weather turning again the Bradford captain decided to end the game with 10 minutes remaining and the final score at 45-0.

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

BUCSsport

Pushing the boat out

Narrow cup wins Canoe Club put BUCS points up on the board in Yorkshire for netball 1s and 2s Canoe Club

Sam Desbruslais at River Washburn

The weekend of November 26 probably �lew by relatively unnoticed for most. However, for Newcastle University Canoe Club, it played host to the annual BUCS Wild Water Racing competition. Located on the river Washburn near Harrogate, the �loodgates were quite literally opened as the huge dam release sent water crashing down the course, ready for racing. After a night of last minute boat adjustments, only made possible by Gavin Thompson and his dab hand with power tools, the paddlers awoke rearing to go. First up was the ‘classic race’, with 2.5 km of river ahead, the paddler must race top to bottom as fast as possible, avoiding rocks and traversing drops. Newcastle got off to a �lying start with good performances all round, notably; Christoph Gemassmer taking individual gold in the C1 (kneeling, single paddle); Tori Park taking bronze in the women’s K1 (kayak); and Baker, Gemassmer and Mitchell taking Gold in the men’s K1 team. The rest of the club, while not medalling, also placed highly and racked up more all important BUCS points. However, the morning’s exuberance quickly began to fade as Loughborough proceeded to pick up points across all disciplines, leading to a tense afternoon’s paddling. It was therefore with some relief that Newcastle struck back in the form of the C2 category, (two people, each with one paddle, in the same boat). A total whitewash of the podium saw Gemassmer/Clough taking Gold, Kirk/Wild silver and Baker/ Clarke bronze, whilst the other teams looked on. The girls’ team of Park, MacDougall and Speight then took bronze in the mixed team race further adding to the medal tally. The Sunday saw host to the sprint event – 90 seconds (if you’re quick) of �lat out speed, whilst navigating twists, turns, rocks, trees and anything else that hasn’t been submerged by the dam release. Newcastle impressed again, taking �ive of the top 10 men’s K1 spots; gold and silver (Gemassmer and Baker) in the C1; along with another gold and silver (Kirk/Wild and Baker/Clarke) in the C2. Newcastle �inished the weekend in �irst place by a considerable margin scoring 159 BUCS points, taking the title of BUCS Wildwater Racing

Netball

Katie Rimmer

Shefﬁeld Hallam 1sts Newcastle 2nds

Wednesdays clash against Shef�ield Hallam Firsts was a must-win for the Newcastle Seconds with a place in the last 16 of the Conference Cup awaiting the winner. Despite their opposition competing in the league above, the girls started out strongly gaining a four goal advantage straight from the offset. The girls fought hard to maintain their lead constantly sustaining pressure down the court, never letting Hallam close the gap. Although they did not respond to the rather physical approach adopted by Hallam they continued to effortlessly convert goals, helped by wing attack Harriet Humphries, and player of the match, Steph Blain, successfully outsmarting their defence. Interceptions from Newcastle’s strong defensive unit added to a multitude of turnovers the whole way down court, resulting in a win of 36-32; putting the Seconds through in what must be considered a cup upset.

Newcastle 3rds Shefﬁeld 1sts

Won

Newcastle Canoe club racking up the BUCS points Photography: Canoe Club

Champions (a title which Loughborough had previously held for seven years). It is a brilliant re�lection of the hard work everyone has put in this year. Special thanks must go to the committee who have worked hard to secure new boats, coaching and the �inancial backing of the CPRS and Vice Chancellor which were all integral to this success. President Jonny Clough told The Courier, Courier “Our members put in a lot of

effort this year, but the hard work has paid off and we’re all ecstatic with the result. With the continued support of the University we can only look to continue our success come February at BUCS Slalom.”

W1 v Leeds 1sts

W2 v York 1sts

Basketball Fencing

W1 v Leeds Met 1sts

Hockey

Results

32 36

72 - 69

Go to BUCS.org.uk to see which University sports sides are helping Newcastle climb the rankings.

Lacrosse

16 - 6

Netball 129 - 104

M2 v Leeds 2nds (Conference Cup) M3 v Northumbria 3rds (Conference Cup) W1 v Manchester 2nds

0-2 8-1 5-4

W2 v S’ﬁeld Hallam 1sts 36 - 32 (Conference Cup) W3 v Shefﬁeld 1sts 43 - 42 (Conference Cup)

Rugby

M1 v Leeds 1sts M2 v Bishop Burton 1sts M3 v Durham 3rds M4 v Northumbria 2nds W2 v Bradford 1sts

3 - 24 5 - 52 21 - 36 19 - 24 45 - 0

BUCS League Table 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

Oxford Bristol Leeds Newcastle Cardiff Northumbria Warwick

Rugby League

M2 v Teesside 1sts

Squash

M1 v Durham 1sts W1 v Northumbria 2nds W2 v Durham 1sts

Waterpolo

M1 v Lancaster 1sts M1 v St Andrews 1sts

1166 1095.5 1049 1042 925 909 877 20 - 28 5-0 1 -2 3-1 24 - 5 11 - 5

43 42

The Royals’ Third team was also in cup action, facing Shef�ield’s First team at Newcastle’s Sports Centre. Shef�ield currently sit at the top of the league above the Thirds, which resulted in a negative outlook at the beginning. However, the girls eagerly rose to the challenge in one of their most tightly fought matches this season. The team pulled together from the outset, responding to Shef�ield’s strengths and weaknesses, and used them effectively to their advantage. Louisa Sorenson excelled at wing attack, providing perfect feeds to Laura Wilson and Anna Rosenberg, who converted goal after goal perfectly. The ball moved smoothly down court in spite of Shef�ield’s defence, thanks to Rachel Brown who secured herself player of the match, whilst ef�iciently utilising the permanent back up of Lucy Greenwood.

Sport

THE COURIER Monday December 12 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Ladies’ Hockey: Early Christmas present gifted to Royals page 46 IM: All the results, all the action page 41-44

Tangerine Dream: Shagther Senseless stun Newhist FC in Intra Mural Cup Round Two

Knights’ last minute joust Cochrane Park played host to a shock Intra Mural cup result on Wednesday as Third Division Shagther Senseless beat Newhist FC 5-2 to book a quarter-ﬁnal berth and a match against Henderson Hall Photography: Hubert Lam

Women’s Basketball Newcastle 1sts Leeds 1sts

72 68

Rosie Wowk at Newcastle Sports Centre Last week saw Newcastle Women’s Basketball 1st team play a spine-tingling match against Leeds in a battle to reach the top of the table. Having lost the corresponding �ixture in Leeds due to a few too many naps on the bus, the Knights were determined to parade their talent on their home turf. Leeds, who were unbeaten in the league up to this point, were desperate to maintain their record. The focussed home team started the �irst quarter with immediate points in the bag with underground rapper, Eglė Duleckytė, swishing a three and making a smooth lay-up. Their reliable press was set in and forced errors

were made by Leeds allowing the ball to be easily stolen. The away team’s poor defence and lack of knowledge of the rules saw the opposition getting called up for three seconds after deciding to pitch up a tent in the key. Newcastle used this opportunity to set up their offence with motivational speaker of the year, Jacquelyn Fisher, shooting a �irst-class jump shot off a screen. Excellent communication and hard work on defence helped the Knights end the quarter with a �ive point lead. The second quarter proved to be tough for the hosts, as Leeds only shooting player knocked some unchallenged shots down. With two giants on court, rebounding was not a problem. AU of�icer, Alice ‘Access’ Holloway surged up the court every time the ball boomeranged off the backboard. Ef�icient new strategies were put in place to mark Leeds’ best shooters out of the game and to help stop the bumbling weaklings drive through

the key. At the other end of the court serial frowner, Inga Vareikaitė, broke through the oppositions defence to score several carefree lay-ups ending the half on a high. Leeds were in deep disciplinary water at the start of the second half, which made penetration into the key easy as pie for the Newcastle Knights. Some snappy passes into the post allowed the whopper Tass Von Streng to �lick up a few hook shots. Meanwhile persistence under the basket helped tap queen, Leonie Smith, sink a bank shot, taking it to the line for an extra one. Desperation from opposition didn’t help their fouling record, giving away shots to Frenchie, Corinne Vaughan, who held a nearly perfect free-throw record throughout the game. The score was at 53-48 to the home side as they stepped out on court for what they thought would be the �inal time that evening. Fouls were still being called on the opposition leading to frustration and

poor shot selection for Leeds. A double check from team giants, helped get the ball back down to the home basket for a back door look for horse breeder, Emily Jackson. Pressured defence from the Knights helped Von Streng dive for the ball, achieving a swift interception and fast break for Lithuanian Vareikaitė. The tension could be cut with a knife with 40 seconds on the clock and the hosts being just three points up. A few turnovers later, time was up with a level score of 66-66 meaning another nerve-racking �ive minutes was added to the clock for extra time. With both teams desperate to win, the heat of the game could be felt a mile off. With some big blocks from the humble Rosie Wowk, possession was transferred to allow Eggy Duleckytė to drop a triple through the hoop. Disaster struck as a Leeds cronie wrestled the three-point shooter to the �loor, leaving Eggy crippled in pain. Composure was hard to keep but

the Knights managed to gain a sweet victory in extra time with a score of 72-68. Showing off his new cane, Coach Bunten stated “The girls put up a great �ight today, even though there are areas that we still need to work on, we were the better team out on the court.” The Knights now sit top of the pile over the Christmas break and will be tough to beat in the New Year.

Remaining ﬁxtures

01 Feb Glasgow 1sts 08 Feb Liverpool 1sts 15 Feb MMU Chesire 1sts 29 Feb Manchester 1sts 07 Mar Leeds Met 2nds For all ﬁxtures, results and detailed tables, go to http://www.bucs.org.uk