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www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 19 October 2015 Issue 1316 Free

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Uni ends zero tolerance drugs policy Student campaign successfully challenges accommodation policy No more instant evictions from halls after first drugs offence University still “can’t condone any kind of illegal activity”

By Mark Sleightholm Current Affairs Editor The University has changed its accommodation policy to remove its zero tolerance stance on illegal drugs. This was in part a response to a campaign by the Newcastle chapter of Students for Sensible Drug Policy, (SSDP) an international network of students calling for a welfare-based approach to drugs policy.

Zoe Carre, the leader of SSDP Newcastle last year, and now copresident of SSDP UK, spoke to The Courier about the changes. “I’m very happy with the policy, but I think there’s always room to improve it,” she said. She summarised the change in policy: “[before] it was basically ‘the University’s policy is zero tolerance, don’t take drugs’, and I think it’s a really positive step to be able to change that message to ‘the University’s policy is zero tolerance, but if you’re going to take substances, this is safer ways of using it,’ and signposting them to services.”

This year SSDP has become a society, with the aim of distributing drug testing kits, educating students on harm reduction, and “opening the platform on drug policy”.

Previously students found in possession of illegal substances had their accommodation contracts terminated, requiring them to find alternative accommodation. Although students will still have their contracts officially terminated, “the termination will be suspended on the condition that the resident agrees to refrain from any further substance misuse.”

In effect this means that they would be able to continue living in student halls for the rest of the academic year, provided that they accept advice and training from the University about seeking help with substance addiction and misuse. Carre explained: “[The Uni] thought that evicting students was a good way to deter from substance

misuse, when actually people are quite vulnerable when they’re evicted, and can be more prone to using substances.”

If students are caught with drugs again, or are caught supplying, they will be evicted immediately. This brings Newcastle’s drug policy closer to that of most other universities.

Another major change is the introduction of a “medical amnesty”.

From now on, if students call 999 “in a timely manner” during a drugs-related medical emergency, this will be taken into account during any disciplinary action. This was one area that SSDP were determined not to compromise on.

SSDP got the backing of Student Council last May when their motion to encourage the university to change its policy received 95% of the vote. They also received the backing of last year’s NUSU President, Claire Boothman, and met with Paul Bandeen, Head of Residences.

Bandeen said: “The campaign fitted in with the time that we were reviewing our policy anyway… when Claire Boothman and Zoe from SSDP came across, what they were saying did make really good sense to us and we think that it’s always sensible to listen to our primary users.”

Dr Alison Oldham, Head of the Student Wellbeing Service, said: “I think it’s a good example of collaborative work between the University and the Students’ Union in terms of policy creation or amendment.”

Bandeen continued: “We still want to make sure that everybody knows that we can’t condone any kind of illegal activity, but there are perhaps different ways to approach the subject which are all about support and guidance as well as making sure people understand what the consequences of their actions are.

He added: “I think our policy is very clear and sets out very logically what people can expect and what the steps are if you do transgress.”

Editorial

By Victoria Armstrong Editor

The View, student accommodation Image: Anthony Foster

The University’s change to its accommodation policy represents a needed shift in approach to drugs from deterrence to welfare.

Increasing evidence shows that taking a strict approach to drugs generally is not the best approach, and that the benefits of seeing it as a health rather than a criminal issue have been dramatically underestimated.

Under this new policy, students have a much better chance of being able to rehabilitate and cease drug use, rather than having their accommodation agreement terminated and finding themselves in the difficult position of having to find new accommodation, which may only exacerbate existing issues.

Previously the tendency has been to imagine that the vast majority of the student body do not use drugs and to discipline the few that do. However, as The Courier’s survey earlier this year showed, the majority of students at Newcastle have tried drugs. In changing the policy, accommodation services recognise that it is a reality of student life that many students experiment with drugs, whilst at the same time not condoning harmful activities. This brings us more into line with other universities.

It is key that the University constantly reviews its policies to ensure that they are as relevant to students as possible, and listens to student input on issues, as was done here.

As well as being a great step forwards for the University, this change is remarkable as a wonderful example of how students can initiate change through campaigns conducted in a manner which is knowledgeable, organised and respectful to the issue at hand and all involved.

Student grassroots movements are a vital way of encouraging reform and review on policies which have a significant impact on their lives both at University and higher levels. Hopefully this example will encourage students to become more active on all issues that affect them.

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Monday 19 October 2015

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NEWS

4 5

The  University  scores  high  in  NSS Interviews  with  Natalie  Bennett  &  Nigel  Farage Â

COMMENT

9

Is  veganism  the  answer?

CULTURE

14 16 26 30 33 37

Blind  Date: Â

James  meets Jamie

The Courier

                           Current  Affairs  Editor:  Mark  Sleightholm   News  Editors:  Antonia  Velikova,  Peter  Georgiev,  Sinead  Corkett-­Beirne  and  Sophie  Norris  courier.news@ncl.ac.uk  |  @TheCourier_News Â

Entrepreneurial Enactus enables effective period education in Rwanda

By Kotryna Kairyte This September a group of Newcastle University students from the Enactus society travelled to the village of Dufatanye in Rwanda to work with the local community and make sanitary towels.

An American charity donated 1000 banana trees to the cooperative in Dufatanye, but after this multiplied to 3000 trees, they were looking for a different way to use the resources.

Charlotte Lenz, the project leader, said that when asked if there was a need for anything specific, sanitary towels were mentioned.

A lot of women in the local community couldn’t afford imported sanitary towels and used rags and cloths instead.

Having to stay home during their period they missed out on education and work. “The women we talked to in the cooperative said they felt excluded and unable to participate in daily activities when on their period. Our project pro-

vides a solution to this huge problem.

Our sanitary towels [will] provide a more hygienic alternative that is still affordable.�

Charlotte also shared that finding the right way of making these towels proved to be the really tricky part of the process. “We soon found out that people have actually done this before us, one example being the charity SHE. There was, however, no method online so all we

the community can use to make sanitary towels at home.

However, the biggest difficulty appeared to be the communication barrier with the locals. “The two sanitary towel entrepreneurs, Terifine and Consolle, that we worked closely together with during the entire trip, could not speak much English, which made teaching them the process a bit of a challenge.

However, their eagerness to learn,

“A lot of women in the community couldn’t afford imported sanitary towels and used rags and cloths instead� knew really was that it was possible but no one knew how exactly,� she told The Courier.

The team managed to find a way to extract fibres from banana trees and with the help of engineers in the team developed an environmentally-friendly production process which women in

together with a lot of communication done using gestures, eventually allowed us to successfully convey the message.�

Another striking thing was the poverty that the team of Enactus Newcastle saw in the cooperative. “It was definitively an eye-opening experience to see that they could make

do with what we consider to be ‘nothing’.

Cooking was done on an open fire, no one at the cooperative had an electric or gas stove, and neither did they have running water.

The food they ate was almost all grown on the cooperative’s farm lands,�

Charlotte explained, adding that what impressed her was that the community produced almost no rubbish.

While menstruation is still a taboo topic in many parts of the world, the project leader Charlotte was positive and felt that their project in Rwanda works towards breaking the taboo through education. “The women of the cooperative now have a greater knowledge on the topic of menstruation as we provided them with educational videos and held an informal discussion with them.�

Enactus Newcastle are planning a second trip to Rwanda and hope to develop a machine with would speed up the production process and give these towels a much more professional look.

Diary  of  a  Freshers’  Crew

The  art  of  the  cocktail Down-­it  Abbey  drinking  game

The Enactus team on campus Images: Enactus

Review:  Editors’s  In  Dream

A  guideline  to  labs

NUSU,  King’s  Walk,  Newcastle  upon  Tyne,  NE1  8QB.  Tel:  0191  239  3940

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Email editor. union@ncl.ac.uk for more information.

Editor Victoria Armstrong Current Affairs Editor Mark Sleightholm News Editors Antonia Velikova, Peter Georgiev, Sophie Norris and Sinead Corkett-Beirne Comment Editors Jack Dempsey, Adam Thompson and Daniel Robertson Culture Editors David Leighton and Laura Staniforth Lifestyle Editors LauUHQ ([HOO 5XWK /RHIĂ HU .DWLH $FNHUOH\ DQG )LRQD &DOORZ Fashion Editors Sara Macauley, Ellen Dixon and Liz Rosling Beauty Editors Lucy Cochrane, Ellen Walker and Flo Davies Arts Editors Holly Suttle, Jade Holroyd and Emily Watton Film Editors Rhian Hunter, Simon Ramshaw and Emma Allsopp TV Editors Ellie McLaren, Jack Oliver Parker and Hannah Bunting Music Editors Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Connor McDonnell Science Editors Iqra Choudry, Louise Bingham and Anna Jastrzembska Gaming Editors Ollie Burton, James McCoull and Michael Hicks Sports Editors Calum Wilson, Alex Hendley and Lewis Bedford

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s comment pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier

news.3

Monday 19 October 2015

Gannin’ glacial: Team Greenland embark on amazing arctic adventure

The team said their favourite part were the breathtaking views Images: Team Greenland

By Francis Williams A group of enthusiastic and motivated third-year Geography students embarked on a five-week fieldwork expedition to Greenland’s Russell Glacier this summer.

Students Abbi Bennett, Steve Cox, Sophie Battinson, Helen O’Riordan, Tim Kempf and Daniel Leicester, were joined by lecturer Dr Rachel Carr (the inspiration for the location), Professor Andy Russell, and second-year student James Linighan. While Greenland is not the farthest they have travelled, the glacier was by far the most remote and physically challenging trip they have so far embarked on.

The feeling of nervous excitement that gripped the team before departure transformed into one of accomplishment and relief once back in the UK. The work, despite being “really hard, physically and psychologically” was also “absolutely amazing”, Abbi told

ing this trip is evidenced by their fundraising. A group grant of £8,600 was sufficient for the duration of the trip, excluding a £200 fundraising effort by each member. As Dan acknowledged, that figure was “pretty good for an allinclusive five-week trip,” especially one with such spectacular scenery.

The team gained grants from a variety of sources, primarily the Royal Geographical Society with Institute of British Geographers, but also with assistance from a Fieldwork Apprenticeship bursary, the Gilchrist Educational Trust and the Gino Watkins Memorial fund.

This funding was central in making such a golden opportunity for research possible.

Hunting tours are often organised to the glacier in search of muskox and reindeer, and the group witnessed both the hunters and the hunted. The team witnessed the beauty of arctic hares, foxes, and numerous species of bird.

The primary focus may have been dissertation research on climate change,

“The team had to walk forty minutes each way between the glacier and their camp each day, collect water, lug equipment and carry rucksacks” The Courier. Every day, according to Team Greenland, everyone woke up and thought, “I can’t believe we’re actually here!” Understandably, there is something surreal about waking up from a night that never truly gets dark, but where the temperature is well on the minus side of the Celsius, watching the northern lights whisk through the sky whilst sipping a glass of Isfjord Premium Arctic Vodka at midnight.

The surreal nature of the trip was emphasised by the team’s lack of running water and electricity. They may have had laptops and a satellite phone, but could only charge these devices every three days. Collecting water involved a twenty-minute trek to a glacial lake, complete with pieces of moss and small creatures; undesirable after a night with the aforementioned alcohol.

When asked about showers, the group laughed, before saying they were virtually “non-existent.” A swim in the lake – before dodging the Arctic wind – was the solution.

The group’s determination in organis-

but there were plenty of worthy distractions.

As for the research itself, Team Greenland had to bring all their technology from the UK. A 1.5 metre drill proved problematic, and contributed to their hefty £200 luggage bill for the return flight. They undertook a series of experiments to gather a range of data concerning the hydrological systems of the Russell Glacier and the impacts of climate change.

While the group are still forming their conclusions in relation to research conducted on previous expeditions, they did observe a linear decline in the rate of vertical melt from the glacier between August and September.

The students stressed how invaluable their lecturers’ technical assistance had been. As one of a small number of glaciers to be advancing, the Russell Glacier offers a unique opportunity for pioneering research.

Perhaps the worst part of the trip, according to the students, was the food.

With a cycle of nine evening meals, also

called the “carb base”, there was a clear lack of variety. Anything from a package or tin was on the menu: powdered mash, tinned mackerel, biscuits and pasta. The team admitted that they would “never touch instant mash again” and had stayed away from spaghetti since their return, joking that the Greenland menu “made airline food look appealing.”

A food shop by Helen in the final ten days brought in much-needed cheese, Nutella and around forty chocolate bars, allowing the group a small feast.

Before the trip the adventurers committed to an exercise routine. Abbi took up running, while other members took up hill walking, cycling and rowing. On the trip, however, there was no need for exercise. The team had to walk forty minutes each way between the glacier and their camp each day, collect water, lug equipment and carry rucksacks.

Then there were games of Frisbee.

All of Team Greenland lost weight on the trip, Dan and Steve both shedding four to five kilograms. This was not the sort of trip for the unfit, both physically and mentally. The students had to have the determination to keep going, keep carrying bags, and keep their wits despite the monotonous food.

When asked what their response to a crisis would have been, the students confessed that a crisis “almost did happen”, when two of the team disappeared with a tourist group and didn’t return at their usual time, mid-afternoon. Before calling a helicopter, the boys were back – with fresh fruit and vegetables gathered from tourists. Dan jovially described his return as “tearful.” Abbi was less amused with the situation: “Tearful!? We were really worried!” They had a plan for an emergency, though fortunately it never had to be utilised.

The best part of the trip was unanimously decided to be the landscape. The group ubiquitously recommended their experience as the “trip of a lifetime” and the “most amazing life experience”.

The expedition was an enjoyable and educational trip that demonstrates the determination of students to pursue their ambitions, from gaining the required funding to actually putting the trip into practice. It was a rare opportunity, but one which is actively encouraged by the University and Geography department. As Steve rightly pointed out, “When else would you going to go to Greenland?”

4.news

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

Graduate brings creative engineering to the Emirates

positions in their placement companies.

Kevin is one of the 220 graduates to be successfully employed in North East Newcastle University Mechanical based SMEs since 2012.

Engineering graduate Kevin Varyo Clive Mockford, Managing Director is part of the team from Newcastle of Engineering Creatives, said: “The company Engineering Creatives which support that the company has received has created 18 new interactive exhibits from Newcastle University has been for My Works theme park in Abu Dhabi. excellent. The staff in Mechanical Designed to offer creative Engineering and the Careers Service engagement and learning for people of have been very supportive. Kevin all ages across the Emirates, the project has been a fantastic addition to the includes an interactive train simulator, a company and he continues to develop catapult game, a recycling machine and his knowledge and skills as we take on environmental simulations. new and innovative projects.”

When asked about The scheme aims ´+H ZRUNHG RQ the project, Kevin to support the growth explained: “The work D GHVLJQ IRU and development of that I have been involved in the region DQ DXWRPDWHG businesses in both here in the whilst working to retain UK and in the Middle graduate talent in the FDWDSXOWµ East has been very North East. All of which interesting, and challenging. I never makes this a true success story for the believed that I would be designing and Careers Service and University as all the making complex systems for interactive exhibits were designed at the company’s entertainment, but here I am!” base in St Thomas Street, Newcastle. All He worked on several installations, the systems have been manufactured in including developing a design for an the UK, mostly in the North East, and automated catapult, where visitors assembled at the Engineering Creatives team up to achieve a high score using workshops in South Shields, before small medieval siege catapults to being shipped out to the Middle East. launch projectiles at targets of varying Marc Lintern, Director of the Careers difficulty.

Service, said: “Kevin’s success shows Kevin first began working with the value that work placements and Engineering Creatives through work experience can have and it is Newcastle University Careers Service something that the University is very scheme Improving SME Performance proactive in developing. We collaborate through Graduate Apprentices. After with regional and national employers his work placement he was offered a to ensure that we are equipping our permanent position. The success of the students with appropriate skills and scheme has resulted in over 80% of the encouraging engagement to their graduates placed gaining permanent mutual benefit.”

By Isobel Thompson

‘Say No to the EU’ event in Gateshead Image: Kevin Varyo

Uni scores top marks in NSS

“The positive results reflect our commitment to delivering the best possible teaching and learning for our students through continuous investment in imThe results of the annual National Stu- proving facilities on campus and teachdent Survey (NSS) are in and Newcas- ing standards,” said Professor Cholertle University is celebrating excellent ton. rankings for the second year in a row, “Recent initiatives include a £27m remaining the one of the top universi- investment in student accommodation, ties in the country in terms of overall upgrading IT facilities, expanding Wistudent satisfaction.

Fi coverage and developing innovative, This rating also places Newcastle at user friendly learning spaces. We are the very top of the Russell Group, on par also improving library re-sources with with Oxford University. the acquisition of a new library building 9 out of 10 students are happy with which will open in January 2016” their time in Newcastle – placing it joint In this year’s NSS, Newcastle was 6th in the UK, scored highly both when compared in the teaching and “The NSS is the most against competitor academic support VLJQLÀFDQW PHDVXUH of categories, with institutions.

Welcoming the of students VWXGHQW VDWLVIDFWLRQ 90% outstanding reagreed with staff sults, Professor are enthusiastic LQ 8. XQLYHUVLWLHV µ Suzanne Cholerabout what they are ton, Pro-Vice-Chancellor, said: “This teaching and 92% saying that they were is a great achievement and a credit to able to contact staff when they needed everyone at Newcastle University who to. In addition, 81% of students showed is dedicated to providing an excellent they were satisfied with the Students’ experience for our students. The NSS is Union - a considerably higher rate than the most significant measure of student the sector average of 69%. satisfaction in UK universities and we Maddie Fitzpatrick, a BSc Biomediare delighted that our students continue cal Sciences student shared his opinions to rate their time at Newcastle Univer- on study in Newcastle University: “The sity so highly.” lecturers are so experienced and pas92% of students have shown excep- sionate about what they do. They have tionally high levels of satisfaction to also been very helpful and supportive staff that are good at explaining subjects in helping me choose subjects I would and 93% of students were satisfied with enjoy specialising in and with applying the library resources and services. for summer work placements.”

By Sally Mu

The Courier

news.5

Monday 19 October 2015

Party leaders come to the Toon The leaders of both the Green Party and Ukip have been in the North East on separate visits in the past month. The Courier’s Mark Sleightholm spoke to Green leader Natalie Bennett, while Hamish Auskerry interviewed Ukip’s Nigel Farage.

By Mark Sleightholm Current Affairs Editor Natalie Bennett, leader of the Green Party of England and Wales, came to Newcastle University on 18 September, as part of a visit to the North East.

Ms Bennett was invited to the University by the Newcastle Young Greens, a society only founded a year ago. Liam Christie, President of the Young Greens, said: “It was a privilege to host Natalie Bennett on our society’s first birthday and show off all of our achievements to date.

“We had such a successful first year, with a particular focus on the election with registering and engaging students.

We hope to have another equally impressive year and ensure that the Newcastle branch of the Young Greens is known throughout the party for its successes.”

The Young Greens of Newcastle and Northumbria Universities presented their achievements over the past year to Ms Bennett, including their involvement with the Fossil Free divestment campaign, a politics debate before May’s general election and participation in the large anti-Pegida march in February.

Speaking to The Courier, Ms Bennett said: “It’s really great to see how well the

Young Greens are doing here... looking at what they’ve done, for example, with the Fossil Free divestment campaign – the University has to listen to the students, so it’s people from inside the institution having an impact on their own institution.”

In the evening the Green Party leader gave a public talk in the Herschel Building which was attended by over

“What the Green Party offers is a consistent message, a consistent plan - solutions for our combined economic, social and environmental crises” 150 people. The theme for the evening, “three ways you already support the Green Party without even knowing it”, reflected the “Green surge” that has seen the Party’s membership increase from around 45,000 at the start of the year to 67,000 in September.

After her talk Ms Bennett answered questions from the audience. One popular topic was Jeremy Corbyn’s election

as the new Labour leader. Ms Bennett said: “The centre of politics is shifting... the public are moving fast [to the left].”

She highlighted the success of the SNP in Scotland as further proof that the political scene is changing.

Another question was related to drug policy. Ms Bennett said she wanted Britain to “treat problematic drug use as a health issue and not a criminal justice issue” and end the current “out of control, dangerous situation”. The Newcastle Young Greens have been involved with Students for Sensible Drugs Policy, a campaign group that succeeded in persuading the University to change its zero-tolerance policy to drugs in student accommodation.

Ms Bennett also explained how the Green Party differs from the other parties: “What the Green Party offers is a consistent message, a consistent plan – solutions for our combined economic, social and environmental crises. We understand they’re all interlinked together” She continued: “When you look right through the history of the Green Party we’ve always regarded social and environmental justice as indivisible... tackling the soaring inequality in our country has to be an essential part of tackling our environmental crisis.”

‘Say No to the EU’ event in Gateshead Image: Hamish Auskerry

Natalie Bennett with the Newcastle Young Greens Images: Harry Vann

England, Wales and Northern Ireland, all European Union citizens are entitled to undergo a degree programme in Last week, Ukip leader Nigel Farage Scotland, entirely paid for by the ScotMEP reaffirmed his rejection of univer- tish Government. sal free tuition for further education in The event in The Sage was chaired England. by senior Ukip party member Dianne On a visit to Gateshead on Monday 12 James and also featured speeches by a October, Mr Farage told Newcastle Stu- local Ukip councillor and Jonathan Ardent Radio (NSR) that he still favoured nott MEP. free tuition for students of science, techAfter his speech, Mr Farage also connology, engineering, maths and medi- firmed that he also does not support cine (STEMM). changing the voting age for this referenMr Farage’s appearance came as part dum, citing the poor turnout of 18-30 of Ukip’s ‘Say No To The EU’ tour, which year-olds in this year’s General Election. is campaigning for Britain to leave the Addressing the issue of political apaEuropean Union in a referendum thy among young people Mr Farage said planned to take place before 2017. the answer was a vote to leave the EU. His comments also came on the day “By making [Westminster] a sovereign that the campaign for Britain to re- parliament”, said Mr Farage, “where main part of the who you vote for EU kicked off at an governs “Higher education sold actually event in London. your country rath“Higher education as a product and not as er than as a subsidsold as a product”, iary in most cases said Mr Farage, a back-door means of to laws made in “and not as a back- immigration could be Brussels, will bring door means of imyoung people back migration could an even bigger money- into politics and be an even bigger spinner for this country my hope is that a money-spinner for student generation than it already is” this country than it can see that [the already is”.

‘Out’ campaign] The MEP for over 16 years, who failed represents the progressive argument”. to win a parliamentary seat in May’s The franchise was extended to 16 and General Election, also criticised the 17 year-olds for the first time for the Scottish education model, which pro- Scottish independence referendum in vides free tuition for students of certain September 2014. nationalities.

The Ukip leader also said that he did Mr Farage continued: “I’m all in fa- not believe that global warming was an vour of making as much money as we issue he was currently concerned with. can out of foreign students coming to “I don’t see this as being a big issue in Britain, but I think any comparison to this referendum: I think it’s very unlikethe Scottish system is not particularly ly that it will be”. relevant at the moment because as you You can hear a report from the Ukip know, English taxpayers are paying for event and Nigel Farage’s interview with free tuition North of the border”.

NSR in full on Monday 19th October.

Apart from students coming from

By Hamish Auskerry

6.news

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

Sugata starts first US School in the Cloud the UK, I’ve dreamed of it expanding to America. It is truly wonderful that this SOLE lab will be in New York –TED’s The first American research labora- backyard – where there is so much intory that is committed to exploring self- novation in learning.” organised learning environments has The John B. Russwurm P.S 197 School, been set up by the SOLE NYC school in which teaches pupils aged between four Harlem. Newcastle University provides and thirteen years old, has adopted the financial support to help with the run- innovative approach to learning. A plan ning of The Harlem Lab, in which the has been laid out so that classrooms concept stems from a series of ‘Hole in will run through the SOLE lab which the wall’ experiments undertaken by ensures that a session will occur at all Sugata Mitra, a Professor of Educational times, with a total of four sessions per Technology at the institution. day. From October 14th 2015, SOLE Mitra installed a computer into the NYC will officially become the eighth wall of a slum in India; from there, ob- School in the Cloud lab. servations were According to the “While there are carried out to Principal Natasha see how children Spann, “Since imalready SOLE labs taught one anothplementing the er subjects which in India and the UK, SOLE program at range from English our school, there I’ve dreamed of it to programming. has been a positive Mitra was granted expanding to America.” shift in instruc$1 million for wintional practices ning the TED Prize in 2013. and the way teachers view how students The funds were used to develop a learn. They see the advantage of allowSchool in the Cloud learning lab, which ing students to be accountable for their is essentially an online space where chil- own learning. With meaningful plandren gather to answer ‘big questions’, ning of questions aligned to the standshare knowledge and benefit from the ards, the stage is set for guaranteed imhelp and guidance of online educators. aginative learning. I am amazed at the This tests the extent to which children level of collaboration and productivity have the ability to learn on their own, from the students.” with access to a computer, and when Natalia Arredondo, a Newcastle PhD prompted by the right questions. student and lead researcher was also According to Professor Mitra, “My actively involved with helping to set wish has always been to support chil- up The Harlem Lab. Arredondo will be dren around the world by tapping into based at the school to oversee SOLE and their innate sense of wonder and abil- complete evaluations where her main ity to teach themselves. While there are areas of focus will include reading comalready Self Organised Learning En- prehension, social skills and how young vironments (SOLE) labs in India and students navigate big questions.

By Sinead Corkett-Beirne News Editor

Sugata Mitra won the TED Prize in 2013 Image: Huntster

The Courier

news.7

Monday 19 October 2015

Exceptional excavation unearths rare ring increased my enjoyment of archaeological excavation as it demonstrates how much can be gained through excavatA second-year Newcastle University ing”, she said. student has unearthed a rare piece of ”I’ve always loved visiting museums rock crystal Roman jewellery during an and learning about the past through award-winning archaeological dig. material culture so wanted the opportuDaisy-Alys Vaughn, an Ancient His- nity to learn more about the actual protory and Archeology student from cess of discovering these objects”.

Leicester, discovered what is thought to This is the second dig Daisy-Alys has be the centre piece of an expensive ring volunteered in since the project started during the final stages of the Maryport in 2011 and this year has been particuTemples project in Cumbria. larly successful. After spending around Dating from the second or third cen- eight weeks on site this summer, excatury, the jewel features the head of a vators have uncovered more informabearded man carved into the back and tion about the layout of the temples area filled with a white near the remains “I had no idea of the material thought of the fort and cito be enamel. In VLJQLÀFDQFH RI WKH ÀQG vilian settlement its original form, in the fields next the crystal would to the Senhouse , FRXOGQ·W EHOLHYH LW have been mountRoman museum.

ZKHQ , IRXQG RXW KRZ ed onto a small Ian Haynes, piece of bronze, Professor of ArUDUH WKH LWHP ZDV µ with the polished chaeology and bronze back looking like gold through project director, said: “Our aim has alstone. ways been to find out more about how The project won the title Current the famous collection of Maryport RoArchaeology Research Project of the man altars, unearthed in 1870 and now Year 2015 in March and was featured in in the Senhouse Roman Museum, were BBC2’s Coast series in July. originally displayed in Roman times.

19-year-оld Daisy-Alys said she “nev“This year we have been able to demer expected to find something so rare.“ onstrate that the temples formed part “At first I had no idea of the sig- of a large monument complex, unlike nificance of the find as the carved anything discovered on Britain’s Rohead wasn’t immediately noticeable. I man frontier to date. The complex was a couldn’t believe it when I later found major undertaking and was dominated out how rare the item was, it feels amaz- by a substantial precinct where many of ing to have been part of finding such an Maryport’s famous altars may once have exciting artefact!” stood.”

This discovery has encouraged DaisyThe item, along with the rest of the Alys to pursue a career relating to mu- excavated artefacts, will now undergo seums and heritage. ”Finding this has post-excavation research and analysis.

By Emily Keliher

Daisy-Alys with the rare Roman ring she discovered Image: Daisy-Alys Vaughn

Council passes offensive fancy Trust me, I’m a dress policy to fight prejudice protesting doctor

fears of becoming worse off financially and out of pocket as many medical students leave university with over £70,000 Junior doctors throughout the North worth of debt before they enter the proEast plan to unite against the Conserva- fession. Furthermore, protesters claim tive government’s plans to reform their that pay cuts could reach as high as 30% contracts, which are expected to be for some doctors. General Practitioner imposed from August 2016 onwards. trainees will not be exempt from cuts The demonstration, which is set to take being made to their pay and the governplace in Newcastle city centre on Octo- ment also plans to scrap banding and ber 2015, is in retaliation to the contro- financial penalties for those trusts who versial modifications which include pay overwork junior doctors. cuts and working longer hours.

A second year medical student has Concerns have been raised by current expressed her fears about the future of NHS employees about the potential that the NHS, doctors, and their patients. overworked doctors “It feels like a slap in will put the health ´7KH JRYHUQPHQW LV the face. It will trigand safety of patients a vicious cycle PDNLQJ FODLPV the ger at risk, as well as their beginning with no own personal well- 1+6 LV EURNHQ WR SXVK guarantee of patient being. The changes safety and people getmade to the contracts WRZDUGV SULYDWLVDWLRQµ ting hurt and ending involve increasing with the government a doctors normal working week hours making claims that the NHS is broken to those of a consultants, who usually in order to push towards privatisation.” work between 7am to 10pm every day It has been reported that some doctors except for Sunday. The government’s are currently suffering from the strain plans have not only been met with criti- of working in busy hospitals which are cism from NHS staff but also the wider considerably understaffed, with some public as the new shift hours have been even having to forfeit breaks in order classed as ‘unsociable.’ The amend- to try and create a smoother, more efments to junior doctor’s contracts will ficient working environment. mean that evenings and Saturdays will The protest set to take place in Newbe categorised as being part of the nor- castle is one of many national protests mal working day, therefore junior doc- taking place in the UK. Recently, over tors working these shifts will receive the a thousand junior doctors gathered outstandard rate of pay instead of the cur- side Downing Street to demonstrate. rent higher rate.

Senior doctors and other NHS employThe proposals outlined in the new ees are expected to stand in alliance to contracts have triggered junior doctors’ support their younger counterparts.

By Lauren Jay Neat

Image: Jack Parker

By Antonia Velikova News Editor The student council has officially passed a new motion to introduce a policy for offensive fancy dress in all NUSU events.

The motion, put forward by Lucy Morgan, Gender Equality Officer and Vice-President of Newcastle University Feminist Society, calls for a dress code policy at all events, including all-time Saturday favourite Throwback.

According to its text, students will not be permitted to wear costumes “which may incite hatred, mockery, or violence against marginalised groups of the student body.”

Examples of such fancy dress can include wearing blackface, dressing as famous figures who incite hatred, or famous domestic abusers and paedophiles. Another example given in the

motion is “dressing as people from marginalised groups in a disrespectful way,” with the example of Caitlyn Jenner.

Lucy Morgan said: “I am elated that my motion regarding racist, sexist and transphobic costumes passed. If Newcastle University considers itself to be a truly anti-racist and feminist institution then the support and implementation of this policy is essential. The passing of this motion sets a strong precedent nationally: Newcastle University is changing and adapting to make it’s campus a safer space for all students.”

The Union has yet to clarify whether this will by an on-the-door policy or whether people will have to report fancy dress they consider offensive. At the Council meeting Morgan offered to personally over-see the implementation of the policy. Throwback, the Union’s main weekly event, is managed by an external events company.

The Students’ Union is hoping that this new policy will make sure that future events will reduce the amount of racism, homophobia, tranpshobia, classism and other forms of minority oppression in the student community.

The Union also emphasises that this motion reinforces their existing policy of having an inclusive and respectful space for all students.

Safiya Robinson, Racial Equality Officer and President of the Feminist Society, said: “Pushing through motions like these is instrumental in making this a proactively non-racist campus and cementing its zero tolerance approach.

I am excited to work together with the Sabbs to ensure that the policy is carried through and implemented effectively, alongside campaigns designed to raise awareness about why exactly these costumes perpetuate offensive and oppressive stereotypes.”

Tuesday 19 October 2015

!"#$%&'#$()%*+,#%#,-) Image credit: Fiona Leishman

The Courier

!"#$%&'( Donor society thrives Birmingham

Oli Elston, a student at University of Birmingham, became a lifesaver by donating his stem cells to a patient with blood cancer. The student donor expressed his initial fears that the procedure might be “invasive�, but it then turned out to be simpler than expected.“ I just want to encourage more students and young people to sign up,� Elston said. “It’s so easy to join the register and donating is virtually pain-free, it’s just like giving blood. If I was in need of a transplant, I would hope there would be people on the register to help me and I hope other young people feel the same.� Alex Cupit, President of the Birmingham Marrow society, hopes to recruit more student volunteers in the future. Anthony Nolan, collaborator, said that more and more students are donating blood and stem cell, with 1061 ones having taken part only in the last two years.

Sex harassment battle London

Freshers’ week 2015: Pandamonium

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About 100 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Zero Tolerance to Sexual Harassmentâ&#x20AC;? workshops were delivered to new students at University College London (UCL) during the first week of the term. During the workshops, students engaged in discussions about sexual harassment and how it can be challenged. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sexual harassment is a significant problem on university campuses across the UK, and UCL is no different,â&#x20AC;? said Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Officer Natalie James. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s great to have the University supporting and working with UCLUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Zero Tolerance campaign via our Pledge for UCL Departments.â&#x20AC;? James added that no other UK university or SU has run similar anti-sexual harassment workshops in this way or on this scale. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Although there is much that still needs to be done at UCL to combat sexual harassment, the reaction so far â&#x20AC;&#x201C; from both staff and students â&#x20AC;&#x201C; has been very encouraging, and I hope the campaign will continue to make good progress.â&#x20AC;?

Life-saving crystal Cambridge

Dr Damian Gardiner, Cambridge University scientist with an engineering PhD, has developed a â&#x20AC;&#x153;liquid crystalâ&#x20AC;? material in order to combat counterfeit goods worldwide. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You can tilt the object and the unique ID will show a different colour iridescence.

But you can also probe the printed feature with a reader to see a further signature,â&#x20AC;? Dr Gardiner told The Telegraph. The liquid crystal technology is potentially â&#x20AC;&#x153;life-savingâ&#x20AC;? as it might combat counterfeit medicine. A recent report by WHO shows that one million people die from using counterfeit drugs annually. Major brands lose between ÂŁ330 billion and ÂŁ1.1 trillion each year because of the counterfeit industry. However, Dr Gardiner finds it â&#x20AC;&#x153;challengingâ&#x20AC;? to find big customers. Large companies are less likely to invest in the innovation, as the security products are still being tested.

Baffling beaver Edinburgh

University of Edinburgh researchers have found a small 66-million-year old mammal. The discovery of the creature that resembles a beaver gives the scientists a deeper insight into the evolution after the dinosaur extinction. Dr Ian Main, the Schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Director of Research, told The Student: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Stephen [lead researcher] has made a huge contribution to this effort. Not just in the discovery or identification of many new and exciting individual fossils, but also in understanding how these species relate to each other in terms of their evolutionary family trees, and to the environment prevailing at the time. This allows us to look at the natural world in the deep past, and to understand how we got to where we are now.â&#x20AC;? Dr Brussate expressed the research groupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s excitement about making such discoveries, which help them examine mass distinctions and evolutionary processes and therefore become â&#x20AC;&#x153;big news storiesâ&#x20AC;&#x153;.

Maria-Magdalena Manolova

The Courier

.9

Monday 19 October 2015

Comment

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Comment Editors: Dan Robertson, Jack Dempsey & Adam Thompson courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

Can veganism save the world?

Global food supplies are under increasing pressure, but there is debate over what we should do about this. Two of our writers discuss their views on whether meat is a blessing or a curse Frankie Toynton

F

YES

orget the abattoirs, the battery pens and the rainforests – there is a human cost to the meat and dairy industry that can no longer be ignored.

Forty per cent of the world’s land surface is used to feed its burgeoning population. Of this, three quarters – an area greater than Russia, Canada and the USA combined – is used to produce feed. Not feed for humans, but for animals.

“Cattle rearing is the biggest contributor to climate change (that’s right, because cow farts are killing the planet)” In exchange for this, 285 million tonnes of animal meat is butchered, shipped and sold each year. Although this may seem like a fair return, it wilts next to the astronomical 1.3 billion tonnes of grain that is required to produce it. In a world where almost half of all infant deaths are caused by malnutrition and a quarter of children suffer from stunted growth, sacrificing over a billion tonnes of produce every single year is obscene.

The deep-rooted problems within the meat industry do not end with wasteful production. In 2006 a UN report was released which revealed cattle rearing to be the biggest contributor to climate change due to the sheer level of methane that cows emit (that’s right, cow farts are killing the planet). On top of this, our omnivorous diets not only mean that there is less to go around, but globally it is also more expensive to maintain since it costs much more per kilo to raise an animal than a plant.

Unless reared in the horrible conditions of a battery farm, natural livestock needs much more space than a plant, so the forty per cent of the world’s surface is producing far less than it is able to. The global price of food therefore rises. Whilst veganism is typecast as the preserve of rich, pretentious liberals, meat genuinely adds to the weight of poverty for those who rarely get the chance to eat it.

Would a vegan world be free from poverty? Of course not. It would still profit those who control the world’s food supply to flood developed markets and leave people in poorer regions starving. Superabundance side by side with famine is one of the underlying contradictions of capitalism, one that cannot be chewed away with a nice salad.

Nonetheless, the worst famines could be prevented by the massively increased food supply, saving countless lives.

Poverty, of course, is a problem for everyone. In some areas of Britain just under half of all children are having their formative years dragged over the broken glass of hunger, whilst even in the wealthiest areas one in ten experience the same suffering.

As a developed country, Britain would be a major beneficiary of the huge increase and the resulting reduction in food prices. The market would have to adjust and some firms would almost certainly go bust, but bear in mind that it is these same companies who have already priced out the last of the responsible small-time farmers and still only offer as little as £7 per hour full time wages.

Should these huge corporations sink in the absence of slaughter, imagine the benefits of a democratically nationalised supermarket; stable prices, reliably high standards and a decent wage for shop floor assistants and executives alike. Change can happen so quickly, especially with the support of public opinion. This is not a vegan call to arms, or a vegetarian crusade, but a personal plea: eat meat because it tastes nice, or don’t because you’re stronger than that (and you most definitely are).

The meat industry, above all, is one of the least controlled, least responsible markets around. Billions are made and stored privately, whilst the population is told that it can’t go on without slaughter, that bacon is a national t re asure, that Every Litt l e

Helps. It is false. The abattoir blood, the battery pen filth, the rainforest destruction, all pales next to human life. If we claim to put people first, we cannot justify using animal products.

“The moral arguments for [veganism] are deeply personal and [...] fairly impressive”

D

espite it being wholly unapp e a l ing to the majority of the human race, the spectre of veganism remains. The moral arguments for it are, admittedly, deeply personal and a fairly impressive motivator. The environmental arguments and proposed alternatives, however, are not.

Claiming that that global veganism must be installed in order to

forgo our encroaching apocalypse whilst failing to provide a reasonable, practical solution is symptomatic of everything wrong with the rich arrogant countries of the developed world, as well as the self-appointed moral superiority endemic within these societies.

What right do people with access to copious amounts of quinoa have to dictate the practices, both economic and dietary, of the billions of people not as well off around the world?

In countries where we can afford to forgo any animal produce, the aim must instead be a rational approach to revolutionise the food industry so that it is both ethical and environmentally friendly. Both of which are possible.

Illlustration by Jasmine Newton

Robin Richards

NO

Yes, undoubtedly animal farming does have some destructive environmental effects and the world might benefit (as might our personal diets) from a reduction in meat consumption. We, in the West, can afford to do this by supplementing our diet. Yet billions of people around the world simply do not have access to the sea vegetables lauded by vegans as essential.

When you consider the destructive environmental effects of increasing the amount of arable land used it is clearly as naive as it is dangerous. Production of vegan crops requires the enforcement of a monoculture upon expansive swathes of land - resulting in the destruction of vast amounts of biodiversity. A recent study in Australia claims that this process would result in the death of at least 25 times more sentient animals per kilogram of usable protein than cattle farming. All this just so that it is not you that directly consumes them and therefore cannot hold yourself responsible.

“What right do people with access to copious amounts of quinoa have to dictate the practices of the billions who do not?”

This is perhaps veganism’s greatest crux: it is a deeply personal choice made out of a very private belief about the role of humanity, whilst being entirely impractical on any scale above the personal.

Environmentalist Bill Mollison has even gone as far as to warn of the potential increase in soil erosion caused by large numbers shifting to a vegetarian diet. Coupled with the fact that grazing occurs primarily on native ecosystems that contain a far higher level of biodiversity than croplands. Indeed, the implementation of techniques necessary in growing vegan food to feed the human population are just as damaging to the environment as an efficient animal farming system. With environmental damage on both sides we are brought back to a moral choice between animals and fellow humans.

The pure impracticality of veganism on any sort of scale leaves the world with a choice between backing an industry essential for the growth of countries that are yet to develop fully, and starvation.

Call me a heartless, inhuman, murdering animal abuser if you must, but my choice will always be humanity.

People quite rightly point to the cruelty within the food industry. Such issues gave rise to organic animal farming, which are by all accounts more sustainable and humane. Veganism undermines such developments by insisting on bypassing the industry altogether and importing produce grown in other countries, thus destroying the organic farming industry within Britain.

For anyone in doubt it is worth reading George Monbiot’s (a British environmental activist) public denouncement of veganism. He is very critical of the current food system but proposes that if farming is done properly the case for veganism is not only worse for the environment but also merely stepping aside to let wasteful, cruel processes take control of an industry where they are at their most damaging.

10.comment

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

New language tests miss the bigger picture

Theresa May’s stricter foreign language tests could put British economy in peril

POST-­GRAD It’s only in retrospect that you realise just how bizarre university life is. It is only after you’re flung from your innocently drunken weeknights, somewhat questionable sleep hours, very questionable standards of hygiene and hours of doom in the Robinson hellhole that you realise this isn’t what the real world looks like at all. It would appear that walking down the street and being unable to avoid bumping into friends, acquaintances, or people you met somehow but just can’t remember how, is not how most cities function. Who would have thought? And whilst being outside the dreamy student bubble may seem overwhelming, it actually turns out this is fairly liberating. Don’t get me wrong – homesickness for Newcastle is real, but it turns out there is life after graduation after all. Routine may appear lethal, a death-like alternative to the days students enjoy, but it can actually become quite reassuring; the joy of having evenings to spend doing whatever you want – and actually having the money to afford it.

A

Matthew Hall

fter Theresa May outlined potential plans to impose stricter foreign language tests on international students coming to Britain at the Conservative Party Conference, this writer began to wonder if us Brits are missing a trick. International students should not be viewed as a burden, but as an opportunity instead.

Take this hypothetical situation. Twenty students sit in a classroom in a university in Chengdu, southwest China, listening attentively to a teacher explaining the nuances of a particularly difficult grammar rule. They come from various countries around the world, attracted by a multitude of scholarships provided by the Confucius Institute, a Chinese government agency offering incentives for foreigners to study in higher education institutions spanning the width and breadth of the country. It is hoped that these students, some of whom came to China unable to speak a single word of Mandarin Chinese, will become fluent speakers and then continue their studies in fields such as law, business, or science. This is part of China’s strategy for its transition towards an ever-increasingly globalised economy, whereby workers with niche skills from overseas countries can complement the skills of local workers.

In stark contrast, policy-makers in Whitehall – in particular, the Home Secretary Theresa May

– are intent on introducing reforms to the education system with the clear objective of reducing the number of international students in British universities. Stricter English language tests will be introduced, visa rules will be tightened, and students will be forced to leave the United Kingdom immediately after finishing their degrees. Figures from The Times suggest that the number of international students will drop by tens of thousands.

“Policy-makers are intent on introducing reforms to the education system with the clear objective of reducing the number of international students”

May’s ideas are, however, pure folly. By creating an atmosphere whereby international students are perceived as unwelcome and detrimental to universities, a broad cross-section of students will be deterred from applying to UK higher education institutions.

Two of my friends who wanted to study engineering in Europe were initially considering studying in the UK but, after hearing about its draconian policies regarding international students, quickly

changed their minds and opted for a university in Germany which provides a year of intensive classes studying the German language before starting the main element of their studies in engineering. And despite the hard-line rhetoric on clamping down on international students emanating from Whitehall, the UK’s education system will not be able to address its problems by chasing away would-be students; most notably, there is a high possibility that science and technology departments, currently propped up by a vast number of international students, are going to encounter even more difficulties in filling lecture halls. No longer can universities rely on students uniquely from the United Kingdom, and in today’s interconnected world we should embrace international students with different ideas, mentalities and experiences to replenish our higher education system.

I was fortunate enough to study abroad in China, despite my initial shortfalls in speaking Mandarin Chinese, and I came away well aware that the time was a perfect case study of soft power; China had integrated me into its society and shaped my views of the country as a whole. It would be incredibly foolish if Theresa May were to ignore the aspect of soft power interlinked with studying in a foreign country, and her approach to international students risks allowing the UK’s education system to become insular, stagnant and completely unfit for purpose.

Ruth Davis

THE SU SHOP The Student’s Union shop, a one-stop shop where one can buy all their university essentials, and more! It’s a wonderful place to spend your hard-earned student loan, except; there are a few things wrong with the place. To start, the recent reshuffle has meant that the food has been moved to the back of the store, along with the stationery, what is that all about? The two together is just jarring, you know? When you get to the till, if you want to use your card, I hope you have £2.50 worth of stuff to be able to use the cash machine, otherwise you’re going to be buying stuff you don’t need. The biggest problem however, is the lack of prices on most of their stuff; there are prices, but most of them don’t relate to what’s actually on the shelf. I’ve gone in countless times and got a shock at the till. The shop is a great resource in the union, especially for lazy students like me, for whom Northumberland Street is just too far, but they really need to get their act together.

Jack Parker

WHAT GRANTS? The new Osborne budget plans for all maintenance grants for students from unprivileged backgrounds are to be scrapped starting September 2016. Along with that, Chancellor Osborne is increasing the maintenance loan to over £8k - something he doesn’t fail to mention is “the highest amount of support ever provided.” The fact that the maintenance loan isn’t enough to live on has been debated over and over. And now that it is, that comes at a high price. The grants have been a constant source of support to people of low-income backgrounds. It’s not substantial to claim that the grants are to no longer be provided because they’re “unaffordable”, yet the eagerness to get students into more debt certainly looks affordable to the government. The financial landscape for students is getting darker and darker come next year, and university is getting more and more inaccessible as time goes by. Increasing fees and reducing financial support isn’t going to make the job market less crowded, Mr. Osborne. Providing adequate career development, lowering debt and turning universities into educational institutions rather than money-led business might. This new change is unreasonable and its only effect will be unnecessarily restricting access to much needed education.

Antonia Velikova

North Korea complicate Corbyn’s nuclear arms rhetoric

A

Scott Houghton

fter the Americans dropped nuclear bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima in 1945, and after the Soviet Union manufactured nuclear weapons for themselves and tested them, two dominant superpowers emerged. Later in the 1950’s and 1960’s the UK, France and China all gained nuclear weapons too. Now India, Israel, Pakistan and North Korea also have them, with Iran a possibility for the future. But since the Soviet Union fell apart in 1991 fears of a nuclear holocaust have, apparently, disappeared and been left to Hollywood.

“One wonders if the creeping effects of globalisation would make a nuclear strike impossible” In 2015 we are still having the debate whether it is necessary, and whether it is even morally correct, to have nuclear weapons in the first place. Is nuclear disarmament possible? Many people seem to think so, especially Jeremy Corbyn. This year

at The Labour Party Conference Corbyn received consternation for his views on scrapping Trident, the UK’s nuclear defence system, and even more for saying he would never press the fire button in the event of a nuclear war. But recent tensions, including Russia’s annexing of Crimea, alongside geo-strategic air incursions into foreign airspace

by Russian planes in 2014, have caused Western governments to become preoccupied with the possible threat of nuclear war once more. This was compounded by the posturing of North Korea recently, with yet another synchronised military parade hardly cause for optimism.

One wonders if the creeping effects of globalisation would make a nuclear strike impossible; it would certainly upset the financial world greatly in an age when the world economies appear inseparable. It would have massively negative consequences on the country that pushed the button. How would McDonald’s feel if America blew up their branch in Red Square, Moscow? Not too happy. And imagine what a world would look like without America itself rather than its banking system collapsing as it did in 2008. Aside from that you have the old analogy of two people pointing guns at each other – nobody wants to shoot first.

What is more realistic than nuclear war is the fact that no nation wants to lose superpower status, nobody wants to look weak, and nobody wants

to lose influence. The whole reason North Korea and Iran want nuclear weapons so incessantly is because of its status symbol as a serious player on the world stage which the USSR and the USA got in 1945, and those who got them historically want to keep that status. In the UK it was deemed im-

“How would McDonald’s feel if America blew up their branch in Red Square, Moscow”

perative to get nuclear weapons to cling onto what power had vanished after the British Empire faded.

They are trophies to be polished on nuclear submarines.

It is unfeasible that nuclear weapons will ever be totally disarmed because of what they mean as status symbols for every nation, not just authoritarian ones, plus that bit of extra diplomatic clout. For the UK that might be different, Corbyn could sweep to power and dismantle it because he wants to reinvest it in the people. What matters to the public is - would you feel less safe without it?

The Courier

comment.11

Monday 19 October 2015

Cameron: opportunist or radical?

With the recent Tory Conference spilling rhetoric you’d have expected from Labour in the 1990s, Max George examines Cameron’s political opportunism or possible new found radical centralism in the face of Corbyn’s shift to the far-­left in the political arena “The Tories have been presented with a perhaps undeserved slice of fortune in the election of Corbyn to the Labour leadership”

Illustration by Jasmine Newton

The Pig Issue A letter to the PM

Dear Dave,

I

Max George

t wasn’t so much a land grab as a full-scale invasion into the centre ground of British politics.

The self-styled heir to Blair delivered a conference speech that the now-reviled former Labour prime minister could himself have delivered in the 1990s. But is Cameron truly a radical centrist, genuinely embracing progressive mantras from a living wage to prison reform? Or is he simply a political opportunist, seeing a chance to colonise vast swathes of the fertile centre ground now so obviously rejected and vacated by the Labour Party of Jeremy Corbyn, sticking the course with policies that serve to indulge the unreconstructed right of the Tory party: opposition to human rights laws, benefit cuts, crackdowns on immigration and tax cuts?

“There is genuine progressive thinking going on within the Conservative Party”

If the former is true, we see a party leader unashamedly and sincerely selling the political centre to a party still fundamentally and overwhelmingly of the political Right – on Europe, overseas aid and law & order, for example. If the latter is true, con-

versely, we see a party leader selling the Conservative Party to a centrist electorate: an electorate that desires economic stability, competent government and good public services, but which is chronically allergic to extremism or ideology. Should this ‘mondeo man’ voter be attracted to dependable Dave as he completes the modernisation of the ‘nasty’ party, deemed unelectable not so long ago, or is the one-nation rhetoric unsubstantiated by genuine reform and support for the ‘hardworking people’ Cameron so professes to serve?

The Tories have been presented with a perhaps undeserved slice of fortune in the election of Corbyn to the Labour leadership. The country needs credible and robust opposition to hold the government to account, and the risk of hubris as a government gets away lightly with policy failure is undesirable for strong democracy in Britain. Nonetheless, the country also needs a party anchored in the centre ground, unwilling to dash to extremes even as others do so. Cameron could legitimately be accused of abandoning his liberal credentials to parry the threat of Ukip during the last Parliament, so many will be pleased to see his ‘hug-a-hoodie’, husky-loving side return.

Moreover, there is genuine progressive thinking going on within the party: David Willetts (former Universities minister) and Boris Johnson urging a rethink on tax credit cuts, Michael Gove planning radical prison reform and George Osborne’s strategy for pioneering economic and political rebalancing and decentralisation within England.

All this suggests that if the Tories are able to match rhetoric to reality, mitigate the effects of benefit cuts and convince the public that they can be trusted to manage the NHS, there is a real and long term opportunity for the Conservatives.

“The country needs a party anchored in the centre ground, unwilling to dash to extremes” The Tories traditionally have been trusted on the economy, but seen as out-of-touch and too socially illiberal; Labour the converse. If Cameron is able to dispel the notion of nasty Tories and Osborne to carefully shepherd the economy through challenging global turbulence, then the party may start winning no longer as simply the least worst option.

A warning to Cameron though: just as unpopular governments can still win when trusted economically, unpopular opposition parties can win when the government loses its economic credibility. Add in a Tory civil war over Europe and a change of Labour leadership mid-term, and no one can be certain of where British politics will lead over the next five years. For the time being it remains to be seen whether the new tone of Conservative politics will prove beneficial to the UK.

The Great British Backlash

First we had Fridge-­gate, now the Bake Off opens up a multicultural debate in the media

Thomas Montague

T

he Great British Bake Off; the title itself screams national pride and a sense of endearment towards Britishness. The programme, loved by all on Wednesday nights - from students to their grandparents - institutionalised Mary Berry as a national icon once again. A programme however, is never far from controversy. A few years ago there was Custard-gate. And who could forget Fridgegate? This year, however, the Bake Off has used its undoubtable popularity to help broadcast the true realities of British multiculturalism today; a topic that sparked controversial opinion in the media.

The eventual winner - if you’re still catching up, look away now- was, of course, Nadiya Hussain- a British-born Muslim woman of Bangladeshi descent. Some commentators of the right wing media have since criticised her and the BBC, claiming that the crowning of a Muslim champion of the Bake Off was part of the BBC’s left wing agenda within ‘Corbyn’s Britain’.

Possibly the worst attack on the show were claims from the Daily Mail that the white contestants did not stand a chance against Nadiya in the show, sugegsting that if fellow contestant Flora Sheddon had “made a chocolate mosque, she’d

have stood a better chance”.

Nadiya’s apparently strict conservative appearance (such as her headscarf) proved little issue as the nation rapidly warmed to her as she revealed herself to the cameras of the BBC baking show.

14.5 million Britain’s tuned in to watch her win the Bake Off final in which her final bake highlighted a notable symbol of true multiculturalism within the UK; baking red, white and blue wedding cakes decorated with saris. Her tears after she won (wiped away by our Bakery bae, Berry), followed by the tweet from her husband- ‘I love you more than cake’- only served as to endear her to us all.

“We saw her simply as a hardworking, humble mother of three who quietly got on with her baking” Aside from the cruel remarks of some in the press, the show has used its mass audience-base to represent for multiculturalism in the country today. Nadiya Hussain has indeed, been bought up in a Muslim culture by a Bangladeshi family and

yet she demonstrates the ‘Great British values’ the government compels us to have; values that the British public saw within Nadiya. We saw her simply as a hardworking, humble mother of three who quietly got on with her baking without having anything bad to say about any of the other contestants – there should not be a question of ethnic distinction.

From watching her on TV, she seemed like a genuine, friendly person. The fact that a Luton-born Muslim woman with Bangladeshi parents won the Great British Bake Off and won over the country’s hearts in the process, highlights a move in the right direction for multi-culturalism in the UK. The show, like many others on our screens today arguably dispenses a ‘passive tolerance’ towards diversity that social psychologists believe is key to the process of acceptance. It is a held belief that through constant assimilation and interaction in your day to day lives with ethnic diversity, the ruboff effect is that a cohesion is developed between the two.

This also shows us, from the negative media response, the dire need to readdress and de-stigmatise the false conceptions towards multiculturalism in the UK, especially in the face of the supposed infallibility of the media that deconstructs the bonds made by shows like the Great British Bake Off.

It’s been some time now since whoever it was squealed about you boinking me, so I thought I’d just check in. The paparazzi have been sniffing around my pen so much that I’ve barely had a moment to wallow. A pig hasn’t had this much media attention since the snap of that ex Labour leader slobbering over my cousin made the front page of The Sun. Don’t you worry Steve, Mr Miliband can’t hurt you anymore.

I wasn’t too happy about the denial, but you never could admit to anything. Even when we were lovers and you’d twirl my tale between your porky fingers, you always said that I just didn’t fit in with your long term economic plan. I see that the posh girl is hogging you now. I always knew you’d cast pearls before swine — bloody pigheaded in every way.

The reason I’m writing Dave is to ask you to not take this out on the public. I noticed how tax credits have been slashed faster than my negligee on that fateful night at Piers Gaveston and it’s snout to be proud of. Of course, Georgie boy is too busy suckling at the teats of the Chinese energy industry to care, but Amber Rudd’s face was ruddy pink with embarrassment when she was confronted by that angry mother on Question Time the other night. She sweating like a… well, you know. Although there has been talk of a ‘national living wage’ aiming to compensate for these cuts, it’s not much going to help my dead porcine brethren who are being ritualistically spit roasted by you overprivileged.

“I heard about you taking free school dinners away from children. What, so because you can’t have me no one can?”

You boys have all changed so much since I last saw you. I heard about you were taking free school dinners away from the children. What, so because you can’t have me no one can? It’s fine if you feel like that, but can you please tell your oaf of a London mayor to stop hurling himself at tiny Japanese children like it’s their fault. Everyone knows you only hired that pot bellied swine because he looks like me.

Around the time of the general election I saw a snap of you eating a hotdog with a knife and fork and I felt a pain in my loins. You used to eat me like that, I thought, the tears falling into my troth. So guess what, I voted Corbyn. At least he’s a veggie and has some concern for my welfare, although to be fair you always did prefer to give than receive.

Anyway, must trot now. I see the Scots are still keen to draw a line through the farmyard, but you’re insisting on staying in touch. Maybe we could do the same?

Yours porkily,

Miss Piggy (Overheard by Jack Dempsey)

12.feature

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

g n i s s Discu

Black  History  Month

Black  history:  more  than  just  a  month

T

Safiya Robinson, Racial Equality Officer

oo often, Black History Month is filled with information from across the pond, or centred on slavery. Whilst we must never forget the atrocities inflicted on the African people by Britain and the rest of Europe (despite what our current Prime Minister may think), Black History does not begin at this point.

What better way to introduce Newcastle Black History Month than with a little bit of Northern history? Black people did not just arrive into Britain in the 50s on the Windrush, as Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure many of you have been told. African people have lived in Britain since before the Romans. One of these Africans was Emperor Septimius Severus (AD 145-211). He arrived in Britain in AD 203 and when he died in AD 211 he was cremated in York (Eboracum), the capital of Roman Britain. He was described by the historians Herodian and Cassius Dio as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;a man of such energy...wise and successful...that he left no battle except as victorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.

In an ideal world, Black History Month would not be necessary, because the media, popular culture, and the curriculum would fully recognise and appreciate the contributions of Black people throughout history. Unfortunately, this is not the case. There are only 100 Black professors in the UK. Just 20 of these are women. Pale, male and stale courses are no longer enough. We must work harder to be more diverse in all areas. If we are teaching knowledge through just one lens we cannot progress.

It has been just 50 years since the signing of the Civil Rights Act in the US and the Race Relations Act in the UK. 50 years ago, Black people in the Western world had no legal rights. It is crazy to suggest that a society made so toxic by racism could be anywhere near the post racial/colour blind state many people claim, in such little time. Granted, we have come a long way since the 60s. Overt racism is rare and for the most part dealt with admirably. We no longer live in segregated communities (although due to the intersections between race and class a lot of poor communities are significantly Black, Asian or Minority Ethnic). At a very surface level, there seems to be no differences of opportunity due to race. However, we still have a long way to go. Outwardly racist political parties such as UKIP are on the rise. In some places in Britain you are 29 times more likely to be stopped and searched if you are Black.

Right wing tabloid media such as The Daily Mail spread hateful, Islamophobic rhetoric that is lapped up by the masses. Just four years ago the London Riots were sparked by the murder of unarmed Black man Mark Duggan at the hands of the Met Police, an organisation that has publically admitted to being institutionally racist. Unemployment amongst young Black people is on the rise, despite a drop in the overall figures. Whilst white women earn less than white men, the wage gap between ethnic groups is even more significant. One in six Black students experience racism at their current institution. Not quite the melting pot utopia that we would all like to believe.

Everyday  racism Jess Poyner, Writer

R

acial micro-aggressions are a kind of everyday racism, they are incidents based on the stereotypes that exist in society which privilege white people over people of colour. This hierarchy was initially created by white Europeans in part to justify colonialism and the mass enslavement of black people â&#x20AC;&#x201C; who were considered to be less intelligent and a lesser species of human than white people. Despite slavery and colonialism being abolished, BAME (Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic) people in the UK still suffer from these damaging stereotypes which affect both our mental health and our ability to succeed in life overall.

They often unconscious and unintended racism perpetuated by white people, many who would voice the importance of equality and would be appalled to be labelled a racist. Though seemingly small incidences, these dehumanising comments and actions add up over time and reinforce ideas of inferiority and otherness, tying into the institutional racism that we are subjected to in the criminal justice, education and health systems.

We have to be very conscious of the racism in our society to stop it from leaking into our daily lives; this involves expanding the media that we absorb to challenge the stereotypes we see in mainstream white media, listening and looking out for accounts of racism and not taking personal offence at being called out for oppressive behaviour. It is uncomfortable to think that we may be perpetuating racism, but we cannot continue to ignore the visible effects our actions have on groups of marginality. It is vital that we take a proactive anti-racist stance to stamp out racism.

Here are some examples of Everyday Racism: What NOT to do:

.â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yeah in developing countries like China, India and Africaâ&#x20AC;Śâ&#x20AC;?

Africa is a hugely diverse continent with an estimated 1500 -2000 languages spoken and over 54 separate countriesâ&#x20AC;Ś each with individual skin tones, cultures, histories and identities. . *Sticks hands in your afro hair as they walk past*.

2

Black people are people not pets and do not exist to educate you on the texture of our hair. No itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a compliment and yes you must ask for consent before touching. . â&#x20AC;&#x153;Women who wear headscarves are oppressed and need to be saved them from their culture!â&#x20AC;?

Patronising women (particularly young women) and ignoring what is liberating or oppressive for them is sexist, and in this case racist too â&#x20AC;&#x201C; why is it that Muslim women (who in society are always imagined as people of colour) need to be liberated and not nuns (imagined to be white)? . â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why are you being such an angry black girl it was only a joke!?â&#x20AC;?

Angry black woman stereotype, also known as the Sapphire, was developed by white people during the development of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;scientific racismâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to delegitimise and undermine black womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s emotions, particularly when talking about their experiences of oppression. . â&#x20AC;&#x153;You speak so well!â&#x20AC;?

The silent part of this sentence is â&#x20AC;&#x153;For someone who isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t whiteâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s based on the idea that people who arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t white are less intelligent because of their race, or that the only people who are born and raised in this country are white which erases the identities of many. . â&#x20AC;&#x153;So where are you really from?â&#x20AC;?

Questioning someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s identity is instantly othering.

What youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re really saying is â&#x20AC;&#x153;you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t look like me, so you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be Britishâ&#x20AC;?. . Using the N word as a non-black person.

Yes, this really needs to be said. Using the word is tantamount to racism, even if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re just singing along to Kanye, do pay attention to context; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a very powerful word. If in doubt, maybe just donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t.

3 4 5 6 7

What  does  black  history  month  mean  to  me?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;We must work harder to be more diverse... if we are teaching knowledge through just Fope Olaleye, Writer lack History Month was first established in the UK in one lens we cannot progressâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;?

The first step is starting a conversation. As a Black woman, bringing up racism always has consequences. You are berated for being â&#x20AC;&#x153;too PCâ&#x20AC;? or labelled an â&#x20AC;&#x153;Angry Black Womanâ&#x20AC;? who â&#x20AC;&#x153;always makes things about race!â&#x20AC;? I wish I had the privilege to not have to deal with racism in my every day life, or that I could laugh along with the â&#x20AC;&#x153;banterâ&#x20AC;? at the expense of Black people without a care. But at the end of the day, my humanity is non negotiable. The only way that we can tackle racism is through active and open dialogue that challenges preconceived ideas and stereotypes that we all hold.

Together with your Welfare and Equality Officer Luke Allison, I have arranged a myriad of different events for this month and beyond. Hopefully by coming along to a few of these events we can begin active discourse and start to make changes both on campus and in our daily lives. At the first council meeting of the year, a motion was passed to introduce a policy banning Blackface and other similar forms of offensive fancy dress at Union events. Pushing through motions like these is instrumental in making this a proactively nonracist campus and cementing its zero tolerance approach.

In my capacity as Racial Equality Officer I have started the BAME Network, as a platform for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic voices. It is open to people of all races as a forum to discuss race, racism and identity and as a place of education. We are called the BAME Network, as opposed to â&#x20AC;&#x153;anti racist networkâ&#x20AC;? or similar, because we centre the voices and lived experiences of BAME students and use these to guide change. We have had an extremely successful start to the year at our privilege workshop where we discussed the concept of privilege and what it means. The Network is not a place for shaming or accusing but a place for people with a genuine commitment to eradicating racism can come to learn more and ask questions. You can become a member on the NUSU website and find out more on our Facebook page, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Newcastle University BAME Networkâ&#x20AC;?.

We are all in a constant process of learning and evolving, and I hope that you all enjoy this monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s events and use this month to perhaps question some of your own ideas about this issue. I know that I will.

1

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the late 80s, as a way to celebrate the contributions of Black people to the country and inspire black children at the start of the school year.

It is proven that when Black students see themselves reflected and represented in their studies they become more engaged. Considering the fact that Black students are more than three times less likely to be awarded a first-class university degree than their white classmates, the importance of such a month is very clear.

Similarly, with NUS studies showing that 1 in 6 Black students

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Black  history  month  means  knowing  our  past  to  secure  our  futureâ&#x20AC;?

Samantha, 1st Year Linguistics and French

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Black  History  month  is  integral  to  pro-­ moting  understanding  of  the  struggles  black  people  have  been  subject  to,  and  the  challenges  they  face  todayâ&#x20AC;?

Igra, 3rd Year Physiology

â&#x20AC;&#x153;A  celebration  of  black  culture  and  a  way  of  remembering  inspirational  black  peopleâ&#x20AC;?  Xavier, 3rd Year Architecture

have experienced racism in their current institution, a celebration and exploration of Black culture and history is important for people of all backgrounds as we work towards equality.

Surprisingly, former London Mayor Ken Livingstone put it best: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Despite the significant role that Africa and its Diaspora have played in the world civilization since the beginning of time, Africaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s contribution has been omitted or distorted in most history books.â&#x20AC;? Black History Month is a perfect time to begin to shed light on these achievements.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Black  history  month  is  liberationâ&#x20AC;?

Luke, Welfare and Equality Officer

â&#x20AC;&#x153;To  me,  black  history  month  is  about  celebrating  excellence.  Because  everyday,  people  of  colour  (poc)  are  bombarded  with  constructs  of  this  society  that  tells  us  to  hate  ourselves,  and  tells  non-­black  poc  to  hate  black  people.  It  becomes  so  in-­ JUDLQHG VR WKLV LV UHDOO\ D WLPH ÂżUVW WR VHH how  great  â&#x20AC;&#x153;colourâ&#x20AC;?  really  is  &  cleanse  my  own  mind.  Celebrating  blackness  is  also  a  celebration  of  my  own  colour.  In  the  sense  WKDW E\ ÂżJKWLQJ DJDLQVW DQWL EODFNQHVV , DP DOVR ÂżJKWLQJ IRU P\ RZQ OLEHUDWLRQ´ David, 2nd Year Medicine

The Courier

feature.13

Monday 19 October 2015

Black History Month Events Schedule Monday 12 October Beyond Borders Workshop, 6pm, Martin Luther King Room, NUSU A workshop to raise awareness about refugees and correct any misconceptions, as well as identifying ways in which we as students can help.

Monday 19 October Bake Sale for Calais Migrants, 12-3pm, outside NUSU Diversity in the Curriculum workshop, 6pm, Martin Luther King Room, NUSU Martin Luther King, who received a honorary doctorate from Newcaslte University in 1967 Image: Mike Licht @ Flickr

Why is diversity important and what are ways that we can make our curriculum more representative?

Tuesday 20 October Debate: “This House Believes That Britain is a Post Racial Society” 6pm. Martin Luther King Room, NUSU

Wednesday 21 October George Padmore Institute Pop-up Exhibition, 11am - 4.30pm, The Venue, NUSU A look into the black cultural archives of the George Padmore Institute.

“The Role of Music and the Arts in Black Liberation”, 5pm Curtis Auditorium. Hershel Building

Special guests: Professor Brian Ward (Professor of American Studies at Northumbria University) Barby Asante (South London based Artist, Curator and Educator), Tina Simbo(development worker for the BAM! Sistahood! project and education worker for Show Racism the Red Card)and Akala (BAFTA and MOBO award-winning hip hop artist, writer/poet and historian).

Thursday 22 October Black British Feminism, 5pm, The History Room, NUSU Safiya Robinson speaking at a Privilege workshop

The Feminist Society will lead a discussion about the contributions of Black women to the Feminist movement and reveal the untold history of Black British Feminism.

Friday 23 October Black Lives Matter, 4.30pm, History Room, NUSU, Special guest Siana Bangura (journalist, spoken word poet, blogger, entrepreneur and activist) will talk about the international movement and what is happening in the UK. She will be introduced by Chi Onwurah, Newcastle’s first Black MP.

Sunday 25 October

Women’s Freedom Conference, 12-5pm, Martin Luther King Room, NUSU An all-digital, 100% online event, which centres on the unique voices and experiences of underrepresented women.

Image: Ron Cogswell @ Flickr

Monday 26 October What is Cultural Appropriation? 5pm, Martin Luther King Room, NUSU We take a look at the dos and don’ts of cultural exchange: why does it all matter?

Thursday 29 October

Olive Morris, prominent black activist

Audrey Lorde, prominent black feminist

Black History Month Finale, 7pm Outside NUSU Candlelight Vigil for all victims of police brutality and to honour those who came before us.

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Monday 19 October 2015

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The Courier

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James Howlett, 3rd Year Biomed meets Jamie Shepherd, 3rd Year Media

James on Jamie

Jamie on James I’ve heard that you’ve wanted to go on a Blind Date with The Courier for quite a while, how do you feel now you’ve finally got to go on one?

How did you feel about going on a Blind Date with The Courier for the first time?

Terrified because I don’t really do dates outside of relationships I’ve been in, I’ve never been on a date with a complete stranger. So I was like, “what if he hates me? What if I hate him? What if it’s weird?” So I was terrified.

Well, at least it’s over and done with.

Had you come across each other before?

Had ypu ome across each other before?

Well… I recognised him from Grindr, he pops up close to me quite a lot.

I was kind of surprised we hadn’t because I assumed that everyone who was gay, or part of the LGBT community was in the LGBT society, and because I’ve spent two years in that society I thought I’d know him – but I didn’t, so that was fun.

Were you nervous?

Erm, yes, and to compensate for that I drank half a bottle of wine with my flatmates before I left the house. So by the time I got into town I was canny steaming.

So, where did you and Jamie decide to meet?

Well I put a punt in for Mr Lynches but he said it was a bit far from town because he was going out that night, so we went to Dat Bar, which is off Grey Street… it was classier than I thought it was going to be. I ended up showing up in shorts, but the bar was quite nice, so I was like… oh dear.

What were your thoughts when James first approached?

That he’s got green hair, and I think he was wearing combat shorts.

What were your first thoughts when Jamie approached?

How did the date end?

Well mostly it was to do with clothing again, I was like, shit he’s wearing a shirt, and I’m in the same crap I’ve been in all day, he must’ve thought I wasn’t making any sort of effort.

So I was hugging him goodbye, and then this Canadian woman came over and was like “excuse me, are you guys selling pot?,” and I obviously said no, but they were lost on their way to town, so I ended up walking to town with them.

What were some of the notable conversation topics?

Did you feel bad about the fact you went out, and James went home?

Because (Fresher’s) crew had just happened there was a lot of exchanging stories of when we were drunkest and what was the most shameful thing we’d done drunk, where we had thrown up in the past.

It was all very student-y talk.

Well, it was my friend’s birthday so I did have to go out, but I suppose I didn’t have to go home with somebody else at the end of the night.

How did that happen???

Can you give me some examples?

So I went out, then went on Grindr when I got back in, so I ended up having someone round after going out on a date with someone else.

Oh god – let me think of one of the things that he wouldn’t mind going in The Courier, I was talking about one of the nights on crew where I threw up all over Circuit 1, and this was within five minutes of our first date. I just went for it and decided to tell him all the disgusting places that I had thrown up, so Circuit 1, Powerhouse.

Are there any future dates planned?

With James? No, he’s not really my type at all. Funny guy, but no.

Surely that’s quite unattractive for a first date though, or did you just not care?

If James were an animal, what animal would he be?

I didn’t care because he didn’t seem to care, we both brought it up and we were talking along those lines anyway, so I thought you might as well get to know the unclassiest parts of my person.

A sloth. I imagine him lurching round trees and grabbing branches.

So, have you got any future dates planned?

And finally, on a scale of zero to Powerhouse, how would you rate your date?

No, no. He’s a solid lad, but I’m not that fussed if I’m honest.

I’d say, an Easy Street. But in an actual number… 7, no wait, 6.

If Jamie were an animal, what animal would he be?

Parrot, he talks quite a lot.

On a scale of zero to powerhouse, how would you rate your date?

I’d give him a solid 8.

Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

The Courier

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Monday 19 October 2015

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Stop Yakking On

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hat has happened to the furry little yak?

Will it make a return come Christmas, or is it to be put to bed alongside Bebo and Myspace in a place the internet forgot?

The social media app went through waves of subjects such as fantasy library relationships, break ups outside The Robinson, rivalry with Northumbria and little quips to brighten someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s day.

Posting a yak became a way to feel socially accepted, but if it went down in flames, it was completely anonymous - win, win.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Are the new hopefuls too hungover from Fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Week to think of anything wittyâ&#x20AC;?

For many our fun was found in things such as trying to get to the top of the hot list, thinking you were a genius or sinking someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ship who is on -4. It was one of the best reasons for coming back to Uni, as we all know the yak game was strongest in The Toon.

Unfortunately, it appears that the drivel that was once ignored on Yik Yak has now become the primary feature, such as plastic bags being 5p and different variations of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Netflix and Chillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Also people seem to think it is the new Tinderâ&#x20AC;Ś Câ&#x20AC;&#x2122;mon guys itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s anonymous, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure Orange Flag does want a cuddle buddy but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you.

Is it that last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s once giddy Freshers no longer have the happiness to amuse others due to the realisation that they are almost halfway through University and hate their housemates. Are the new hopefuls still too hungover from Freshers Week to think of anything witty? Or is it the fact we have had summer without it and realised there is more to life than social media and our iPhones? Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going for the first oneâ&#x20AC;Ś

L+A#2*1%1+*6C12N#5;+#8%1#6+7O## Ruth Loeffler and Fiona Callow guide you through the intricacies of society membership

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The first rule of Rowing team, is ALWAYS talk of rowing team. To be a rower you must be at home in all forms of Lycra- the tighter and shorter the better, in rowersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; opinions. Second rule is, if a meal doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have at least ten pounds of red meat, it must be for those pesky long-distance runners with their slim frames, not for you HENCH lot.

Naturally, when one is a rower, one can only associate with other water-borne societies. After all, in the words of Sebastian (of Disneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Little Mermaid fame) â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;everythingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s better, down where itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wetterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;...

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Walking should not involve a raised heart rate, burning thighs or breaking a sweat of any kindâ&#x20AC;?

Although many are of the opinion that walking should not involve a raised heart rate, burning thighs or breaking a sweat of any kind, you beg to differ. The saying â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;at one with natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is taken to a whole new level, no pun intended. The euphoria one feels when you realised that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve still got last nightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dominoes underneath your bed is nothing in comparison to the call of the lark, and the prospect of the fresh air slapping you silly at the top of some mountain you just casually climbed in your free time. The first rule of Rowing team, is ALWAYS talk of rowing team.

Birkenstocks are a practicality as opposed to a fash-

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Blink and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll miss them. The 20 minute society are so full of beans that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s impossible to pin them down. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re the highly caffeinated type who disappear from halls for a week, to return with a Mediterranean tan, an international stamp in their passport and a story that begins with â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;When I was in Spain last night...â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Nearly impossible to catch out on their â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;chilled daysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in onesies and slippers, if these guys were cartoons, their feet would be a comically drawn blur. If you can trap one for a minute, the tales they could tell would be high-wire feats of daring and, of course, speed. If spontaneity is your game, then this is the society for you.

For all those opportunistic people who themselves The place for those who see predrinks as the prime canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bake but just know that you could be lifelong time to bring a little bump nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; grind to proceedings. friends with those who do, this is the best society to Though, much to the dismay of your flatmates, infiltrate. Just rip the price tags off your ALDI bought whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve already heard your Electro/Swing/HipHop cupcakes and make polite conversation about types combination played on loop for 12 hours straight, of flour and the appropriate wrist action for whisking In the middle of the day. When other people are eggs, while enjoying the delicacies that your new besTRYING TO GET ON WITH THEIR DAY! Okay, ties have made. Your Instagram will the scorn of your *deep breath*. The classic dance move of a budding disgruntled followers who are growing ever weary of DJ is a brooding fist pump, a sideways shuffle, comyet another arty filter on your â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;homemadeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; brownplete with closed eyed admiration. They are often ies. Cakes will become substitute to many of the other found in clubs shuffling around the decks, offering food types, but at least you can tell your Mum youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re their mixtape to the DJ in the hope theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be the eating, right? next Blonde or Calvin Harris.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;To be a rower you must be at home in all forms of Lycra- the tighter the betterâ&#x20AC;?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re the highly caffeinated type who disappear from halls for a weekâ&#x20AC;?

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Predrinks is the prime time to bring a little bump nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; grind to proceedingsâ&#x20AC;?

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Câ&#x20AC;&#x2122;mon guys, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure:'*+'&8#P+-1Q8'RS8%.16 JXLGHV XV WKURXJK WKH ÂżYH ELJJHVW PLVWDNHV WKDW DOO IUHVKHUV DUH Orange Flag does want a LQHYLWDEO\ DQG LQYDULDEO\ ERXQG WR PDNH VR SUHSDUH IRU FDWDVWURSKH HPEDUUDVVPHQW DQG IDLOXUH cuddle buddy but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure it tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s almost three weeks into term and the hazy 3"#4-+5&')#6+7%#-+8'# who says they werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t homesick is lying, but the hodgepodge of drunken nights out now best thing to do is to realise that you are not alone Nights out, clothes, booze, Campus Coffee, isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t youâ&#x20AC;? seems long forgotten. However, to refresh whatever it may be, you can slowly see your stu- and these feelings are really common amongst stu-

But it still has its golden comedy moments, such as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I opened my birthday card and a load of rice came out. My Uncle Ben is a right prickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. It also has the power to capture the thoughts and feelings of a city in a way that apps such as Twitter will always fail to do. It especially has its merits during those dead hours in the library when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve hit writerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s block. Nothing quite says getting the creative juices flowing again like sending a cheeky Yak about the equally as bored person sat on the computer next to you. However, the hottest yak is merely grasping at the ankles of last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s numbers. The real question could be has Yik Yak lost itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s muse or itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s audience?

With an income of $75 million a year, maybe in some places it is thriving, but it does not seem to be expanding in any way, shape or form, so are we bored?

The conversations about the app have now died down; the trend is over, maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to delete it.

As we know what goes up, must come down.

I

your memory, hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a list of the mistakes that most of us have already made. Whether the week was filled with memorable experiences or messy misfortune, Freshers aims to introduce us all to university life (and the blurry blunders made along the way), so fair enough if you slept with Bill over the hall, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve all been there... !"#$%&'(&')#*+#+,-&.&+'#

â&#x20AC;&#x153;You just HAVE to buy those half price chicken nuggets in Tescoâ&#x20AC;?

Truth be told, everyone knows Freshers is just a wild piss-up. No one can resist those mouth-watering ÂŁ1.50 pints of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;interestingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; concoctions, so you will no doubt be rolling into your flat at 3am with 25 new peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s numbers that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never see again. That said, what a better way to combat your nerves than by downing multiple vodka shots to Sigala or MistaJam, only to do the Sprinkler out of time - probably on all fours - completely disregarding all the awkward events that happened in the day. But even if your embarrassing moments are recalled to you the next morning, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no need to feel ashamed. All part of the fun, right? /"#01**&')#-+2* New cities will always be daunting and confusing, especially navigating your way from place to place to avoid being late to that 9amâ&#x20AC;Ś Stress! Rest assured, in a few weeks it will all become incredibly familiar â&#x20AC;&#x201C; until then, God bless Google Maps.

dent loan dwindling and you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know how to stop. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face it though, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s expected to spend a fair bit during Freshers. The good news is that with a wristband or a student discount, a lot of clubs accepted you for no more than ÂŁ4. Once inside you spent a few quid on drinks here and there and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all very merry. Then comes those hangover feels where you just HAVE to buy those half price chicken nuggets in Tesco before it shuts, and that 3 pack of KitKat Chunkiesâ&#x20AC;Ś AND a four cheese pizzaâ&#x20AC;Ś before you know it, 12 quid down the drain. Consecutively over a week thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ÂŁ84 of your loan youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never see again. On the plus side, being new meant loads of freebies and deals, but be wise people, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all poor students here.

9"# :--# *;1# 21<# 6+7# 2;+7-='>*# ;8.1 Friendly frolics: AKA waking up in bed with someone you remember nervously pressing yourself up against last night â&#x20AC;&#x201C; thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cool. Then you briefly entertain the idea that you may be able to keep this a secret until you wake up in the morning with half your flat sat outside your door waiting to see your catch of the day. Awkward, awkward, awkward. ?"#@+A(&')#6+7%21-B#8586# Everyone can agree that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nice to have the occasional downtime with a cup of tea watching Great British Bake Off. I mean, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s be honest, amidst the hubbub of loud, rowdy Freshers, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easy to shy away. To be honest, anyone

dents. The best way to overcome these feelings is to surround yourself with lively new people, try and forget about what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve left behind and focus on the amazing things you have to come. If it helps, talk to people about how youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re feeling; someone will always be there to help.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Forget about what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve left behind and focus on the amazing things you have to comeâ&#x20AC;?

16.lifestyle

Monday 19th October 2015

The Courier

Lifestyle  Editors: .DWLH $FNHUOH\ 5XWK /RHIĂ&#x20AC;HU )LRQD &DOORZ /DXUHQ ([HOO

Rant of the Week

Megan  Eakin  WHOOV XV ZKDW IUHVKHUV DUH DOUHDG\ ERUHG RI KHDULQJ

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â&#x20AC;&#x2122;m tired. The first week of university is hard enough as it is without having to fend off these questions and comments every moment of every day. Let me just work through my hangover in peace please. Excuse me while I crawl into a hole.

1. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the difference between a lecture and a seminar?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been asked this question three times this morning alone. We know what they are, we hate them for being at 9am and no we do not want to discuss with the person sat next to us. Move on.

2. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Tell us your name, where youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re from and something interesting about yourself â&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Oh god. This is the moment when you realise youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re the dullest person on the planet and all you can think to say is about the weird concoction of bacon, baked beans and crisps that you had for tea last night. Too. Much. Pressure.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Will someone please bring me a pizzaâ&#x20AC;?

3. A text from your grandma â&#x20AC;&#x201C; â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;are you eating well dear?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Honestly grandma, no. The best food that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m eating right now is whatever free stuff is being given out at the union and after that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s basically just frozen chicken nuggets and chips. Fresh fruit and veg? Vodka cranberry counts, right?

4. On Facebook â&#x20AC;&#x201C; â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I was soooooo drunk last nightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; with at least 236 accompanying pictures. We were all drunk last night. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s week. Please stop reminding me of the embarrassing things I did yesterday and will someone please bring me pizza?!

5. In a lecture - *cough cough cough cough cough cough cough*. Why can people never just cough once? And what is it about hearing a cough that makes an entire lecture theatre feel the need to join in? SHUT UP. For once, I am actually paying attention and now I have no clue what the lecturer said and have spent so much time being annoyed about you coughing that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve missed a description of both world wars, the French revolution and the entire civil rights movement because the lecturer talks so freaking fast!

6. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll buy the next round!â&#x20AC;&#x2122; No, you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. You will conveniently leave about 3 minutes before youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re due to buy the next drinks. Also, when Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m buying can you not order the most expensive drink you can possibly think of? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just common courtesy and is not the way to make friends.

7. Are you poly or posh?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Please tell me youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not taking it this seriously. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s be honest, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all broke anyway so does it really matter whether you think weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;poshâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; or not?

8. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;What A-levels did you do?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Please. No. Do you really care what I did or are you just trying to fill these awkward silences? Say something interesting, please, so I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fall asleep in this ridiculously hot lecture theatre.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;The best food Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m eating right now is whatever free stuff is being given out at the unionâ&#x20AC;?

9. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Where are you from?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Are you asking because youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re interested or are you asking to assert your supposed Southern dominance? Is it bad that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m actually scared to tell you for fear of judgement?

Honestly, stereotypes do not apply to the majority of us so please donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make fun of me or laugh at my accent. Also, I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t realise how bad everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s geography was until I had to describe Nottingham as being â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;somewhere in the middleâ&#x20AC;Śâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; 10. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a leaflet forâ&#x20AC;Śâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Stop. Unless I can get free food out of it, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m definitely not interested. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s raining, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cold and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to stop on my way home to talk to someone whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s getting paid 50p an hour to convince me to go to the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s grimiest club. Also, please stop giving me posters because MY ACCOMODATION WONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T LET ME STICK ANYTHING ON THE WALLS. *Breathe.*

Diary  of  a  Freshersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  crew: Â

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aking part in fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s crew â&#x20AC;&#x201C; doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t initially sound like everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cup of tea does it? A whole week drunken nights followed by very early mornings, days of being made to carry the entire contents of a fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s room to their new home through the absurdly complex corridors of Castle Leazes, and a lot of drunk fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spewing all over you. People so often say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;but I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t believe youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing this when you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get paid!â&#x20AC;?, but time and time again, taking part in fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s crew has made the best weeks of my uni life, a lot better than my own fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s week surprisingly enough.

Almost 400 students at the university take part in crew each year, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easy to see why. On the first day, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re put into a crew of around 15 people, none of which you know, and are assigned to a supervisor for the week. Your supervisor will have picked a fancy dress (mine this year â&#x20AC;&#x201C; builders), which the whole crew wears for the entire week, with brownie points if you manage to keep hold of it all. Of With 25 different crews, and therefore 25 different types of fancy dress, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easy to spot your own crew from a mile off. Even across the dark and grungy dancefloor of Sinners, which has come to be a personal favourite amongst crew.

The first few days of fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s crew are always the most interesting, as no one knows anyone and the activities youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got on are the most tedious, such as hall move-ins. Then everyone goes on their first night out together, hilarious things happen and you all become pals.

After that, the week really kicks off. One of the biggest perks of being on fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s crew is the fact

you get to do all the activities on the ÂŁ65 wristband that fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s buy for free! The list of activites you get to go on for seems endless, and thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bound to be something everyone enjoys. From quadbiking and mudbuggying to bubble football or paintballing. Even if those activities donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take your fancy, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all the free food you can ask for so surely thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a winner in everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s books. Plus, getting to do all these activities with your crew which you grow to adore really does make them that much better.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;One of the biggest perks is getting to do all the activities on the ÂŁ65 wristband for freeâ&#x20AC;?

Then, every night after crew have finished carting fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s along a bar crawl, all of crew go out together in one big fancy dressed up mass to a certain trebles bar, and have a great night just like the freshers. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s surprising how even though youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re getting older, and the hangovers are getting worse and worse, you can still pull yourself together to go out every night- and still wake up in the morning for a round of battlezone laser!

Once the week is over, (and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had a night or twoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rest after your phteven day bender), the whole of crew get their glad rags on and head out for a nice meal with their crew, then to Vodka Revs for a crew party â&#x20AC;&#x201C; free cocktails included.

Not only does this night make your crew unrecognisable, as youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve only ever seen them in mucky fancy dress looking like shit before now, it also happens to be that beautiful night that everyone gets absolutely smashed. Tears will fall as those just-graduated final years finally have to admit to themselves for the last time that they will have to leave Newcastle, along with their crew family that they have adopted whilst here, forever. But really, this night ends up being a very messy and emotional night for all.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;At the end of the week, everyone heads to Vodka Revs for a party - free cocktails included!â&#x20AC;?

Taking part in crew has hands down been one of the best experiences Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had at uni, and through both fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s crew and RAG crew, for Raising and Giving week in January, I have made so many friends for life and couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t recommend them both enough.

Finally, just like to give a special mention to John Cena for his contribution to fresherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s crewchis year, you and DJ Bud have absolutely smashed it out the park!

The  long-­distance  low-­down

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etâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clarify something. There is no secret formula to making a long distance relationship work. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re expecting a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;5 Useful Tips for surviving LDRsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; then youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to be disappointed. There is no magic wand you can wave to help you cope.

Entering into a long distance relationship is, by and large, incredibly difficult. It can be one of the biggest decisions of a university studentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s personal life. To be honest, the thought of being in one is enough to make most people wince, even more than they would during the Skype sex.

In truth, LDRs suck. There is nothing worse than having a partner and not being able to bitch to them about your 9am lecture whilst you nurse an apocalyptic hangover. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a pain in the arse to link your schedules together to chat and, in terminal cases, fall asleep with each other on FaceTime.

Then thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the seemingly never-ending, alcohol induced â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;propositionsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; from guys and girls alike as you grope your way through Freshersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Week and beyond. Why ruin your first term by spending hundreds of pounds on train tickets, not focussing on your new social circle and missing out on some great mistakes?

There is little to be gained by banging on about the negatives of an LDR; theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re pretty blatant. You have to focus on the positives. Cherish the good times, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t dwell on the bad, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a much better chance of making the relationship work. Ultimately, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your mind set thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going to make or break you. If you want it to work, it prob-

ably will.

Remember that there is a relationship there worth working towards. Without physical contact with your partner, it can be hard to remain grounded. Netflix dates, care packages and love letters are all nice little touches that let your other half know they are in your thoughts and that you care.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;LDRs are not for the faint of heart. You have to decide if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve found the person who makes all the pain and hardship worth itâ&#x20AC;?

Always have something to look forward to. Having a set date in your diary to get together and then counting down the days can make time fly. You need to feel that the relationship is real. It makes you much less likely to give that Fresher Rep a cheeky handy out in Bigg Market.

Handle your jealousy. When your other half is so far away, it is even more common to feel resentment when they go out and party with their friends while you stay in watching The Bake-Off. Trust your partner implicitly. Suspicion and doubt will drive you apart.

LDRs are not for the faint of heart. They are full of meaningless arguments, jealousy and constant doubt as to whether you will have your happy ending.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Netflix dates, care packages and love letters are all nice little touchesâ&#x20AC;?

You have to decide if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve found the person who makes all the pain and hardship worth it. Love is rare. Never give up on it because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inconvenient. There are few things as special as two patient hearts willing to wait for one another because they know it will all be worthwhile in the end.

Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be needing these

The Courier

lifestyle.17

Monday 19th October 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle

To do or not to do?

Molly Harris and Louise Cassidy on whether keeping it in the Freshers family works...

“In the morning’s cold light, “One fifth of British stuyour intoxicated romance is dents meet their lifelong less Romeo and Juliet and partner at University” more like a dodgy rom-com” hen going to university people always

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Don’t

want to impart some kind of wisdom onto you about the do’s and don’ts of freshers, flatmates and your course; but the overriding golden rule always seems to be the same - don’t sleep with your flat mates.

If you’re thinking about sleeping with a flat mate there are a few important questions you need to ask yourself…

1. How close is too close? Is your flat off limits but your building or floor ok?

2. Do you kick them out to walk a few metres back to their own room or do you awkwardly try and share your single bed?

3. Do you hide it from the rest of the flat to save your reputation (or have they already heard? After all, the walls are thin).

Picture the morning after the night before, all the alcohol has worn off, you’re left with the hangover from hell, and what’s worse: the memory of last night’s numerous mistakes. In the morning’s cold light, your intoxicated romance is much less Romeo and Juliet and more like dodgy rom-com on Netflix (that no one chills too).

With a stomach filled with regret (and those trebles from sinners which seemed like a good idea at the time) you begin to question your thought processes from the night before. And that’s when you realise, there was no thought process, just lots, and lots of vodka.

In the long term your halls will become your home, and your flatmates your family, does it then feel slightly incestuous? They’ll see you looking/ smelling/ acting at your worst. And what about when you actually meet someone you like, will it be awkward between them and you’re new love interest?

No matter how drunk you are, or how fit they are,

sleeping with a flatmate always leads to complication and drama; so therefore our words of wisdom: Don’t do it!!

Do

One fifth of British students meet their life long partner at University so who knows, your drunken fumble could lead to a lifetime of happiness. Surely it’s better to succumb to the sexual tension during freshers, at least then if it’s an anti- climax you can simply blame it on the numerous shots of vodka and the tortuous game of Ring of Fire and say nothing more about it. At least you tried.

Although Freshers’ Week was unusually sunny for Newcastle, the chilly autumn weather isn’t altogether unwelcome. There is nothing better than treating yourself to a Starbucks or Costa for something to wrap your cold hands around. I have such a weakness for anything with syrup and whipped cream - Pumpkin Spice Latte anyone?

Writing’s On The Wall by Sam Smith Let’s be honest, it’s pretty rubbish. After the amazing Skyfall, we were all expecting something ground-breaking and beautiful. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an okay song but it just seems so boring in comparison to his phenomenal debut album. Here’s hoping the movie is better than the song.

Postgraduate life: work, upon work upon cultural re-­acclimitisation: Resident writer Rifat Audeh on the reality of being in PGT education

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“I must say it is a bit weird being a student again after so many years”

Fast forward to September and after being offered admission at a number of universities, I arrived at NCL after accepting to enrol in its MA Media and Journalism program. I must say it is a bit weird being a student again after so many years.

Looking at all the energetic young people walking around, one cannot help but feel a bit out of place, at least at the start of the year. And when I see my fellow students, sometimes I try to remember where I was when I was their age, what I was thinking, what my plans were, my hopes and ambitions for life, before entering the workplace and the battles and experiences which have shaped who I am. Was I starry-eyed? Was I an idealist? I guess in some ways I still am -an idealist that is- although I’d like to think that the years have sobered me up to the other side of reality, and clearly earned me more than a few grey hairs.

Rude awakenings -literally and figuratively-

every so often jolt me into this new reality. This includes incidents during Freshers Week like seeing people out in fancy dress; oh how times have changed! Or waking up to the kids yelling on the street as they stumble back to accommodation from the bars in the dead of the night. Or discussions like the one I had with a fellow postgrad, who is a friend of my flatmate. He told me he was 23 years old, and upon learning of my age, he stated “Ah... you are about my father’s age”. How kind of him to point that out! So if I wasn’t feeling old before that, you can imagine how I feel now.

“I would say savour the moment and embrace all that life has to offer, as the years will start to pass faster than you realise it.”

Yet if I could impart a single piece of advice or two to my colleagues, I would say savour the moment and embrace life with all that it has to offer, as the years will start to pass faster than you realize it. Also, and just as important, make it a point to always keep in touch with all the wonderful people you meet while you are here. Future years will show you how significant this will turn out to be.

On a lighter note, if you see me, basically a greying older man, carrying his school backpack and attempting to rush to class because he’s running late again, be nice and open the way for me. And no, I’m still not telling you my age!

Student Discounts

There is no feeling quite like the one you get from a bargain; I treat my student card like it’s a Golden Ticket for Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. It’s the perfect excuse to go shopping guilt-free - yes, you may have nothing but baked beans in your cupboard but you also have the entire contents of Topshop in your wardrobe, so who is the real winner here!

Wintery Drinks

On the other hand, what credentials do the people telling you not to sleep with your flatmates actually have? These people always sound so sure it’s the wrong thing to do, but the truth is, we can never really know. Therefore we must make our own mistakes, try it yourself and form your own opinion from personal experience.

You’re in a strange city with even stranger people, how do you overcome the initial fear of the unknown? Freshers is all about breaking the rules, creating memories (good and bad) and bonding with your flatmates. And what better way to bond, then to see them naked. After all, the advice to picture people in their underwear in nerve-racking situations is as well told as advice not to sleep with your flatmate.

To counter the points made earlier...

1. You may see your flatmates everyday but it’s pretty easy to avoid people on your floor or in the rest of the building if you have too.

2. The answer is simple – kick them out to avoid them seeing morning breath, panda eyes and post-sex hair. An undeniable benefit is a shortened walk of shame- literally across the length of your flat.

3. Deny deny deny! (However things rarely stay a secret).

Postgrads: Older, wiser? t was a spur-of-the moment decision. A lifealtering, spur-of-the-moment decision. I had merely toyed with the idea in the past when it would occasionally pop up in my head, before I would push it back into the recesses of my mind due to the financial, familial and personal responsibilities and lifestyle I had become accustomed to for the past 20 years or so. Yet in the April-May timeframe of this year, if my ageing memory serves me correctly, I decided to go for my Masters degree and began the long internet search on universities and masters programs which would lead me to my next phase in life.

Hot

Freshers’ Flashbacks

Okay, so now that you’ve sobered up and the actual work is kicking in, you might think you can move on from Freshers’ Week. Yet somehow, every idiotic drunken endeavour keeps coming back to haunt you. Your flatmates have a video of you dancing (it’s not pretty) and they have kept a tally of how many times you ended the night with your head in the toilet. And in retrospect, downing those shots of sambuca before calling your mum was probably not your best idea....

Snapchat Stories

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I love Snapchat in all its narcissistic glory. What I don’t love are the stories that seem to go on for hours; I have much better things to be doing than tapping my phone screen to get through a live documentation of your whole night out. I’m sure you do “love this girl sooooo much” and I really enjoyed watching a minute and a half ’s worth of videos of you on the dancefloor, but in reality, it comes off as a little bit desperate. Surely you can’t be having that great of a night if you have your phone on you the whole time?

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20.fashion

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Ellen Dixon, Liz Rosling and Sara Macauley

Freshers’ fundamentals

The demise of American Miranda Stoner talks us through the 5 fashion essentials for freshers Apparel ?

Emily Higgins reflects on the history of American Ap-­ parel and its self destruction

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ith a $300million debt, dismissal of their founder following allegations of sexual misconduct and an already controversial reputation for provocative ad campaigns, world famous high-street brand American Apparel may finally meet its maker after staying afloat in a sea of controversy for much of its time.

The retro brand is no stranger to controversy, with its name often gracing headlines for all the wrong reasons. It’s strong brand image and provocative campaigns are the biggest appeal to the large teenage target market, making it one of the most desirable high street brands and ensuring AA has remained a front runner despite the backlash. However, it would seem that it may be too little too late as the company now needs more than the income it receives from the hefty price tags on its items.

Coat, jeans, boots and shirt Topshop

‘‘Controversial ads meant the brand was often left balancing within the fine grey area between revolutionary and offensive’’ Recent developments show the undoing of the iconic teen brand, as the company filed for bankIllustration: Bethan Morris ruptcy at the end of August. The brand fell into fiacking your whole life into three suitcases A plaid shirt- Heading into winter, shirts are you’re doing it right. nancial disarray after its fast growth and taking on is hard, but often the trip up to Newcastle pretty key to layering because they look great with Cosy coat- Don’t be deceived by the clear skies too much debt, which has led to a colossal imbaldemands you to make some difficult deci- literally everything. You can find them in every col- and sunshine - it’s getting cold outside and it’s ance in the company’s funds. The majority of the sions - what stays and what goes? To help you out, our, making them one of the most versatile autumn important to wrap up warm in order to protect brands profit comes from sales of its ‘basic’ ranges, here are your five fashion essentials for the winter staples. A plaid shirt can be worn day or night, rain yourself from the dreaded ‘fresher flu’. A statement including its famous disco pants, body suits and semester. or shine. For a casual look try pairing the tartan coat is therefore important in order to maintain a tennis skirts, which have become desirable and recwith florals and wear unbuttoned with rolled up fashionable look without detriment to your health. ognisable amongst its target market of young adults.

“A rucksack is quite possibly the sleeves over a t-shirt with jeans or shorts. If you’re Stand out against traditional dark winter colours This also follows founder Dov Charney’s dismissal most important item you can own going for a more refined look, either match a skirt with loud patterns or a pastel shade and as far as after a string of allegations regarding sexual misconor coloured trousers in a complimentary colour, or this season’s looks go the whilst at uni’’ duct in December 2014. simply style it like a cardigan over a fancy top. more you resemble a teddy bear the better.

The chain of events only fuels an existing fire, as Frayed denim- It doesn’t matter where the frayRucksack - A rucksack is quite possibly the most the brand already angers many due to the nature Ankle boots- Make any outfit look instantly ing is taking place, whether your jeans have been important item you can own whilst at uni. You can and content of its marketing strategies. Provocative smarter and prevent blisters by basing your outfit cut off at the bottom or slashed at the knee. You can fit your books in, your food shopping, and anything images of young, doe-eyed girls have been called around a practical pair of boots. Try rolling the wear a dishevelled denim jacket or a wraparound else you might pick up on your travels. As well as overly sexual and exploitative. Comedian Amy hem of your jeans to show off some ankle or tuck- denim skirt with raw edges, just as long as there’s the practicality though, a rucksack manages to suit Schumer once famously described the campaigns as ing leggings in to create the impression of a leaner a balance of the classic clean cut lines associated any outfit. A black leather one is probably your best using “hostage lighting” in its campaigns comparing leg line. Alternatively you can wear your boots with with denim and that dishevelled vibe made famous bet, and its worth paying a little bit more for quality, the models to vulnerable victims. a skirt or dress to create a more sophisticated look. courtesy of London Fashion Week’s street style, it’ll get more use than any other accessory you own.

Controversial ads meant the brand was often left balancing within the fine grey area between revolutionary and offensive. However, they have repeatedly pushed the boundaries too far leading to many campaigns being banned. Most recently, in March 2015 a campaign promoting a body suit was deemed to be inappropriate and regarded as encouraging the sexualisation of children, leading to the images wo unique fashion brands: one designer, one of the original designer ranges and for those who being banned in the UK. In an age where gender high-street. A collaboration of these? Contro- have forever been lusting after that ONE Balmain equality and the acceptance and celebration of all versial. Balmain, the haute couture fashion dress, you’re likely to find a cheaper alternative in body types is continually strived for, American Apparel’s attempts to be revolutionary could actually house under the direction of Olivier Rousteing the H&M collab. However, it’s all still quite costly, who claims that ‘Balmain DNA is all about unique’, and would be out of the average student’s price make it behind the times.

The companies ‘sweatshop free’ ethos and manu- and H&M, an international fashion brand that sells range. One of the Balmain x H&M dresses worn by facturing base in the US sets it apart from its rivals, fashionable clothes at affordable prices. A combina- Gigi Hadid to an NYFW party retailed at an eyebut the recent events which have unfolded may tion of these wouldn’t seem a likely collaboration to watering £399.99. Ouch.

Some of the pieces are also slightly TOO extravamean that the ‘ultra-cool’ brand cannot hide behind the conventional shopper. its edgy image any longer and the brand may have Nevertheless, H&M boasts an impressive list of “For those who have forever to make some grown up decisions as its future hangs collaborators, including Karl Lagerfeld, Versace and Alexander Wang. After announcing on Instain the balance. been lusting after that ONE gram that the ‘Balmain x H&M’ collaboration was to take place, the campaign became overwhelmed Balmain dress, you’re likely with attention from the press, and the media storm to find a cheaper alternative surrounding the news was only exacerbated by the models that faced the campaign itself. Gigi Hadid, in the H&M collab” Kendall Jenner and Jourdann Dunn have all worn the clothes to high-profile events over the last gant to get enough use out of, and so memorable few months, giving sneak previews of what was that if you hate to outfit repeat, you’ll get one use to come. Stood with Olivier Rousteing at the Bill- out of them then they’ll disappear to the back of board Music Awards, Kendall and Jourdann were your wardrobe for evermore. The unique tailoring both seen wearing thigh high boots, suggesting that and style of Balmain means it may be difficult to these would be a key piece from the collaboration. translate the high-end look to casual wear, so the Blazers with strong angular shoulders feature in the range may not appeal to everyone it was designed range, alongside tightly structured mini-dresses for. and obvious military style influences – all which So what do you think? Does the collaboration are evident in the campaign shoots. make you want to race to the shops with all your The range is much cheaper than original Bal- summer savings? main, offering high-end clothing at affordable pricInstagram: @buau.cl es. Most of the pieces look almost identical to those

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Balmain x H&M: Collab

Ellie Trent explores the latest designer and high-­street collaboration of 2015

T

The Courier

fashion.21

Monday 19 October 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion Instagram:@thecourierfashion | Facebook: facebook.com/thecourierfash |Email: c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk

PFW: The rise of the 90’s Sally Mu investigates the hottest S/S16 trends that graced the Paris Fashion Week runways this month

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hilst the dazzling and powerful 80s trend dominated the last Autumn/ Winter 15 couture show, next season is all about the 90s. The return of the British street rave scene gave a refreshing spin to this season’s PFW. At Chloé’, every look was infused with fresh and youthful innocence. Models were sent out in widelegged sporty ‘rave pants’, reminiscent of the threestripe Adidas tracksuit bottoms worn in sweaty nightclubs back in the music-fuelled party years of the late 90s. Alongside this casual staple were long floaty dresses and tops in colours ranging from white and pastel to rainbow hues, and the swinging tassles were particularly memorable.

‘‘This season’s PFW was awash with unapologetically feminine power’’

Also unforgettable were the vertical georgette pleats that were suspended from drawstrings on a sweeping tank dress, and the maxi balloon pants strewn with eye-grabbing multicolored braided strings. The 90s witnessed a dynamic change in the fashion world, and the strappy-spindly sandals that marked the era are definitely a perfect and effortless look for next summer! Airy, comfortable and fabulous - what more could a girl want?

Victoriana lingerie is another upcoming and highly featured trend that took over the catwalk at PFW, keeping its purity and precision whilst hark-

ing back the youthful innocence of years before.

Dior showed amazing talent by linking the Victorian era to the 21st Century Paris with their lingerie-inspired simple fabric collection, where delicate Victorian lingerie shorts and fitted scalloped tops were paired with filmy organza dresses. This season’s PFW was awash with unapologetically feminine power: victorian silhouettes came in the form of corseted bodices, ruffles and meadow-print floral embroideries. The mix of lingerie inspired petticoats and shorts sets, delicately embroidered and layered under chunky knitwear was mastered perfectly. The cotton veil tops and starched white undergarments were a fresh take on the lingerie trend, but teamed with pinstripes and tailored jackets made them wholly wearable!

On the other side of the runway, Louis Vuitton immersed the PFW audience in a shimmering digital punk world. Models were striking out in punky and boxy biker jackets which completely stole the show, and cowboy-influenced spurs, leather waistcoats and patchwork patterned trousers were made tough. It truly was a sight that called to be seen!

LV also gave the past a modern twist in a sci-fi 80s theme, featuring an eyebrow-raising revived puffball skirt trend. Paired with prim bell sleeved blouses and polished black cowboy boots or chunky flatform laced brogues and sandals, the bubble skirt adds a touch of romantic fantasy to the strong edgy grunge theme.

A crowd-pleaser for sure.

Is the new trend a positive step forward for women or a blatent step back? Victoria Thewlis & Christina Lau battle it out

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highbrows; a celebrity trend that ordinary women are being forced to conform to? Or a means for women to not only embrace their curves but to love them?

The latter of course, at last it is actually fashionable to have a roll of skin. While it may seem like a fad for Kylie Jenner wannabees to follow, in fact there is an important message behind this new craze. Embrace the curves! Elle recently questioned whether the thighbrow is replacing the thigh gap.

Let’s hope so! For years women have strived for the much desired thigh gap, now the focus has changed to the thighbrow which, let’s face it, is a much more achievable goal for some of us.

Instagram: @dior

Instagram: @parisinfourmonths

Walking into winter With winter hot on our heels, Isobel Patterson gives us the low-­down (and the high-­top) on the shoes that will see us through wind, sleet and snowfall Boots, trainers and heels Topshop

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hen the seasons start to blur and the weather takes a turn for the worse, often a period of deliberation is needed to decide which pair of shoes will carry you through the day.

We have officially passed the autumnal equinox, thus begins a painful shift into the seasons of dark mornings, icy pavements and gusting winds. We must ultimately slip back into the confines of thick fabrics to shield ourselves from the harsh conditions on a brisk 9am walk to uni.

The transition between summer and winter can provide even veteran fashionistas with unfamiliar anxiety. This evolution into a winter wardrobe to adapt to the season’s worsening conditions can be problematic, especially in the shoe department.

How to stay warm and comfortable without losing style in the process can be difficult. A solution to this is owning three pairs of essential shoes - a pair of boots, trainers and heels. Your winter footwear survival kit.

Boots to me are the definitive winter shoe, to keep me reliably dry, warm and comfortable

The Thigh The Brow Why Brow

‘‘ Elle recently questioned whether the thighbrow is replacing the thigh gap. Let’s hope so! ”

However ridiculous thighbrows may seem to your average woman, if that’s what it takes to get women to love their big bottoms and chunky thighs then so be it. Thighbrows are being sported by celebrities such as Khloe Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, Beyonce, Nicki Minaj and Selena Gomez to name a few. All these women are strong, successful and most importantly influential. By supporting the thighbrow they are showing the world that they love their bodies and are embracing their big butts - a significant message for women everywhere. So spread the word, thighbrows are not just another trend for everyone to latch on to, but a trend that symbolises empowered women embracing their body shapes and looking sexy.

Instagram: @khloekardashian

through the final quarter of the year. Be it a burgundy pair of Doc Martins to a classic black ankle boot, as long as they cover your feet and keep you dry, they’re doing their job. This season the dominating looks are booties, pointed toes and chunky heels. They source elements from summer’s lover affair with the 70’s, but also provide warmer autumnal hues, such as rich tans and berry reds.

‘‘With evenings of arctic degrees nearing, a hard wearing high heel is definitely required.

MOT tests should be taken with every pair you try on’’ Next, the trainer is, and will long be, the go-to shoe. It is undoubtedly the most popular cultural signifier in footwear of the 21st century, where picking a model becomes an overwhelming choice from the millions of styles available. They have become as populous as what jeans are amongst the

throng of students, and we are able to illustrate our personalities to passing crowds simply through one downward glance. Saying that though, they are also a trustworthy, comfortable shoe that will take you from lecture A to seminar B safely and securely. And the effortless style is simply a bonus.

With evenings of arctic degrees nearing, a hard wearing high heel is definitely required. MOT tests should be taken with every pair you try on. If you can imagine yourself trying to hike your way through youthful crowds and drunkenly clambering out of taxis, whilst avoiding skidding on pavements and ending up breaking your leg, then you know they are the shoes for you.

As much as a burden cold days can be to wardrobes; they also connote the nostalgic ring of sleigh bells (thanks Mariah) and a chance to get cosy under the blankets whilst watching endless amounts of films. All of this brought by the added bonus of an excuse to buy these new and necessary pairs of shoes, with the further wonderful but slightly distant thought that spring is just around the corner.

Isobel Patterson

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s the thighbrow something we need to be worrying about? Images of the thighbrow often feature a high cut swimsuit and flat belly, which is concerning if the trend really is about celebrating curves. The problem with thighbrows is that the trend holds up yet another expectation for girls to have whatever the new type of body the media says is perfect everyday. What we should be celebrating is the individuality of all body types.

There have been many other fads such as the thigh gap, the collarbone coin challenge (the more coins you can fit on your collarbone the thinner you are) and the belly button challenge (having the perfect waistline if you are able to reach your belly button from behind); but none of these challenges should not define the ideal body or what is beautiful. These trends encourage young girls to want to change their own bodies to fit into trendy body types and feel bad about not having a thighbrow instead of being happy with their own bodies. To be honest, the thighbrow is just a crease that anyone with legs will be able to achieve by simply bending forwards far enough.

Celebrating curviness is incredible, but shouldn’t we be celebrating every single body type instead of repeatedly glorifying one body type after another?

22.fashionfeature

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

Snapped on campus

Fashion editors, Ellen Dixon, Sara Macauley and Liz Rosling, spot some of our most stylish students on campus

Petra Szeman Course: Fine Art Stage: 3 ‘‘My jeans are from H&M and my shirt is second hand. My friend embroidered my top for me, and I bought these shoes from Garage but painted on them myself.’’

Name: ChristianChristian Barnes Barnes Course: Politics and Economics Stage: 1: “Both my shirt and jacket are Barbour, my Tshirt and jeans are Primark and my sunglasses are vintage.’’

Sean Waller Course: English Language Stage: 3 ‘‘My jumper and jacket are both from ASOS, and my shoes and scarf are Topman’’

Connor McDonnell Name: Connor McDonnell Course: English Lit and Creative Writing Stage: 3: ‘My jumper and necklace are both Topman, the jacket is from a charity shop and my shoes are Doc Marten. I bought my jeans from Primark.’’

Chantel Lin Course: Combined Honours Stage: 2 ‘‘The coat is from All Saints, my T-shirt and jeans are both Topshop. My bag and shoes are from Zara.’’

Name: Alice Piper Alice Piper Course: Spanish, Portuguese and Latin American Stage: 1: ‘‘My jumper is by Rocket London, my jeans are from eBay and my trainers are Adidas but I got them from Schuh.’’

24.beauty

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

Beauty Editors: Flora Davies, Ellen Walker and Lucy Cochrane

Best and worst: Fashion-­show week AW15 Lois Johnston gives us her top two looks from fashion week

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ome to huge fashion houses such as Chanel and Louis Vuitton, it’s no surprise that Paris’ fashion week emulated sleek, polished, French fashion in their SS16 shows this month.

This essence was incorporated into the hair of the models. The slicked back hair from the Céline show is a look that’s easy to recreate for everyday wear. Just brush your hair back from your face (styling gel optional) and secure at the nape of your neck either with a hair tie or grips, depending on the length of your hair, and there you have an effortless, easily maintainable hairstyle.

“The slicked back hair from the Céline show is a look that’s easy to recreate for everyday wear” Possibly the most talked about show, Chanel, saw the models walk along a runway designed to look like an airport. As it is a spring/summer collection, it is no surprise that florals, silver accessories and pastel shades were prominent. Each model that walked, including it-girl of the moment Kendall Jenner, wore blue on their eyes. Understandably, not everyone wants to walk around with a blue stripe on their face from day to day, however this look could be adapted to every day make up. If the blue eyeshadow is a bit too ‘out there’ for you, a deep blue eyeliner incorporates the trend perfectly.

Back to Beauty School Ellie Trent schools us on how to correct/avoid the most commonly made beauty blips Neglecting the neck

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ow many times do you cringe when you see girls walking around with a visible foundation line? This happens because girls commonly put foundation only on their face and do not blend the colour down on to their neck.

Try to avoid this beauty blunder.

“To blend it onto your neck, use a foundation brush to make sure the foundation sticks firmly to your skin so as it doesn’t rub onto your clothes” To create a nice contour effect use a blusher brush to create a shadow under and around the sides of your jawline with a bronzer or shimmer powder, as this will give you a more chiselled jawline.

Tan traumas

Endless eyebrow plucking

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yebrows are a very important feature in the beauty world; they frame your eyes and ultimately emphasise your face shape. More attention has been drawn to them most recently after the rising of the supermodel Cara Delevinge in the media, who is famous for her dark, thick brows.

All faces suit different brow shapes; an elongated face should have brows with a higher arch whereas a wider face should stick to having more horizontal brows, both aiming to draw attention to the bone structure in the face.

However over-plucking your brows can cause this effect to be lost. Whilst there may be eyebrow pencils around to draw on your eyebrows, this does not look nearly as good as having the original hair there. If you’ve been over-plucking your eyebrows recently and are worried that you’ll never regain the original hair, don’t worry! There are many products on the beauty market which stimulate hair growth, meaning your original hair will grow back in no time, or even if you want more hair to grow to make your brows a bit thicker. I recommend the RejuvaLash serum for this, which can also be additionally used to stimulate eyelash growth.

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irls often like using fake tan to create that nice sun-kissed to give the appearance of a lavish holiday in the tropics, but there is a definitive right and a wrong way to go about applying it.

If not enough layers are applied to the skin and are not spread out evenly, a patchy effect is created.

It will be painfully obvious to people who see it that the tan is not natural. After applying the amount of tan layers you want, depending on how dark you want to look (at least two coats is advisable), get yourself some tan wipes (a good brand is the Soltan range sold in Boots) and wipe out any of these marks to even out the tanning colour.

“Check for any streak marks whilst the tan is still wet” Another huge fakey faux-pas is the infamous biscuit smell. We all love a good hobnob, but that doesn’t mean we want to smell like one. Ensure you purchase a tan that isn’t the very cheapest; I know student loans don’t stretch massively, so have lots of perfume to hand just incase.

Getting Ready With Me: Your step-­by-­step guide Resident beautician Amelia Thomson talks us through the trials and tribulations of get-­ ting prepared for Newcastle’s hottest nights out, so you better listen up before you tup tup

Tan Christina Lau talks us through the fashion week disaster

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y fashion week beauty disaster choice is the styling in Haider Ackermann’s winter collection; where the model’s looks were designed with locks of hair kept in place with sewn in thread leaving loose strands hanging like the whomping willow. This look has a rough and edgy surgical Raggedy Ann concept making the models hairdos look like messy birds nests. This is quite an eerie accessory that replicates the intricately stitched zigzag designs on the clothing line which look like old patchwork. Perfect, just in time for Halloween. Try that look for your scary costume of the year!

Eyelashes

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e under no illusion – just because Dirty Little Secret is on Friday night, your preparation doesn’t start at 7pm. Ideally, you should tan the night before, and shower off the next morning. Make sure you exfoliate before application and moisturise those tough ‘orange prone’ areas (ankles, knees, elbows) and using a tanning mitt to avoid those give away fake tan palms. When choosing a brand, St Moritz Mousse ticks all the boxes: affordable, easy application and good colour, although St Tropez never disappoints either. Please Note: Don’t leave the house looking like a Geordie Shore extra. Less is definitely more, so tan suitably for your natural complexion.

f, like mine, yours leave much to be desired, then falsies will become your saving grace. Again, the key is to keep them looking as natural as possible, and I advise using Eylure Naturalites, which give a natural look and a step by step guide for application. Or visit Xtras in Eldon Square and pick from their similar but more affordable collection, making sure not to pick ones that look far too long or intense as this will give a false look. However, if you’re gifted in the eyelash department, then perhaps just a few lashings of mascara will do.

When wearing falsies, mascara is optional, making the dreaded post night out makeup removal far less arduous.

I “For eyes, few products can equal an Urban Decay Naked Eye Shadow Palette”

Makeup

often find that having fake tanned, BB cream is enough coverage for the face, paired with a dusting of bronzer, as heavier foundations can sometimes give a cakey effect. For eyes, few products can equal an Urban Decay Naked Eye Shadow Palette. These palettes have something for everyone, from ashy to rose gold tones and a variety of glitters and mattes to mix and match with. Personally, I don’t use eyeliner as my skills set doesn’t stretch to getting the perfect wing.

Depending on how heavy the eyes are, lipstick or gloss always completes the look. Match heavy eye makeup with a more neutral lip and lighter, natural eyes with a red or brighter lip. My favourites are 700 Nude Delight by Rimmel, or 536 Empire Red Maybelline.

The Courier

beauty.25

Monday 19 October 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty Instagram @courierbeauty_ | Twitter @CourierBeauty

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classic autumn/winter trend that’s so versatile it can be worn for all occasions: the Berry lip. For a dramatic night time look, go for a dark, almost black matte lipstick, something that has been seen all over the catwalk this season. Keep lips moisturised for a smoother look and use a lip liner for clean, defined lines to keep the lipstick in place all day. During the day time, try a stain that is applied with your finger for a more wearable and natural look. Use a lighter berry colour or even a brick red stain to maintain this trend even when you’re out and about.

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%HG +HDG +DLU “Experiment with a texturizing or sea salt spray: think big and manelike but simple to create styles. ‘I woke up like this’ look, literally”

Try – Revlon ColorBurst Balm Stain in Romantic or MAC Lipstick in Diva.

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imilarly, like the berry lips, this look is can easily be worn from day to night. During the day, use a black pencil to line your upper lash line then blend it out using a small eyeliner brush or your finger for a super quick and simple smoky eye.

For a bolder look, use a kohl pencil to line both your upper and lower lash line, blending this out using a small eyeshadow brush and a black eyeshadow. On the other hand, try using a plum or gold eyeshadow to blend with for a muted pop of colour.

Try – Max Factor Smokey Eye Drama Kit in Sumptuous Gold or Lavish Onyx

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hat a wonderful trend for lazy girls alike.

Aim for super natural waves to achieve this look by letting your hair dry naturally or putting it in a loose plait before you go to bed Try to amp up the volume and the texture by using a dry shampoo to give lift at the roots and add a small amount of backcombing at the crown of your head if necessary.

his trend is all about trying something new and bold. A really popular current look is an icy blonde, almost white hue. To add a pop of colour, try fading the blonde into a pastel pink or blue to really nail this look. Going to another extreme, why not try a rich, fiery ginger that has been spotted all over the catwalk?

Something as simple as letting your dark roots grow out will achieve a cheaper version of this look. Whatever your preference, just stay away from ‘natural’ colours this season. For something less permanent, try L’Oréal’s new Hair Chalk in eight different shades to get an idea of what suits you best.

Try - L’Oreal’s new Hair Chalk

Try – Toni & Guy Sea Salt Texturizing Spray

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6DOO\ 0X shares her favourite secrets of post-­freshers beauty rejuvenation

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hether you are first year experiencing freshers, or a final year student desperately attempting to intoxicate yourself to forget your dissertation, your body needs a drastic detox. Perhaps you’re in the situation like me, at the beginning of the awkward second year where you suddenly realise that you can no longer mess around like last year. It’s now time to roll out of bed in the morning and attend those lectures.

Let’s face it - your body and skin are a mess both inside and out after a week of hardcore drinking and partying, now it’s time to get yourself into a correct cleansing routine and rehabilitate after all those rough nights. To all you party animals out there, here are some detoxing tips that could help you pamper yourselves.

Body Water is a good rejuvenating cleansing fluid that people normally choose to replenish their body.

Better yet, I would personally recommend stirring one heaped teaspoon of Hion Green Powder into the hot water. A good tip would be to drink it before you go to bed and let it work its magic while you sleep.

I would highly recommend that everyone should give detoxing a try with this green powder as it works wonders on body cleansing and helps to reduce tiredness whilst giving you rapid immune support. As alcohol flushes a lot of nutrients from your body you need to replenish it with this powerful natural powder which provides a burst of nutrients that contribute towards supporting and

energizing both your body and mind. It really gives such an energy boost and leaves you feeling fantastically refreshed after the crazy nights out.

This powder would certainly help your body rebound and detoxify alcohol more efficiently. Let yourself indulge in each spoonful and you will be amazed at the great feeling of recovery. Although the price is slightly higher than normal supplements it is totally worth it when you seriously want to take care of your body.

Skin

Best Beauty Read 7DPDUD 'XI¿HOG reports on her favourite blog by Lisa Eldridge

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t seems like every girl is a makeup artist these days, and sometimes you watch videos and wonder if you could have done a better job yourself? Why is clown contouring even a thing? However, if you have watched one of Lisa Eldridge’s videos, or read any of her blog, you find yourself wondering how someone can be that good. Eldridge has been a professional makeup artist since the mid-nineties, and has made up the faces of Cindy Crawford to Cara Delevingne. This woman knows faces and she knows what looks good on them.

Lisa has been the brand ambassador for No.7, Chanel and Lancome and helped Shiseido become the brand it is today. You can’t help but get excited about makeup when you enter Lisa Eldridge’s world. Her particular obsession is vintage makeup, and so she often creates videos replicating iconic looks. Additionally, she conducts interviews with iconic film and theatre makeup artists on her blog.

The most endearing thing about Eldridge is her inclusion of under-represented areas of the beauty industry. This includes darker and paler skin tones, problem skin and mature skin. She takes her audience into consideration when she makes her videos, proving hugely useful. Even if you only get the odd spot, watch her ‘Acne/Blemish Covering Makeup’ tutorial and it will totally change the way you approach a blemish.

“You can’t help but get excited about makeup when you enter Lisa Eldridge’s world” Her blog posts are far more frequent than her videos (unfortunately for us) but they are just as insightful. They cover all sorts of topics, such as DIY face masks and Japanese lashes, with clear links throughout her site.

You could be hoping that I would choose someone that’s a bit younger, and a bit less successful, or you could be someone that prefers the more ‘Michelle Phan’ sort. What is unique about Eldridge is that she never gets sponsored to push any products which is a rarity on Youtube nowadays. You will notice her in other places, such as doing the odd video for Chanel or Lancome, but she makes sure it never interferes with her own website. That is the main thing I admire about her. I feel like if I watch one of her videos- or read one of her blog posts- I am getting the most unbiased makeup advice out there.

Intense late nights and too much alcohol is quite a toxic combination for your skin. Dullness and dehydration are often caused by partying too hard and sleeping rough. For those of you who want to look replenished after a week of heavy drinking, I find that using my favourite aquaring ampoule essential mask is the best way to instantly recover dull and dry skin conditions. It is formulated to boost the brightening of the skin, whilst hydrating and keeping skin looking full and refreshed.

“Lie back and relax, enjoy a super-charged intense hydration in just 15 minutes and your face will feel amazingly glowing and reawakened” The highlight of this cleansing mask is its magical power of locking water in to the skin to hydrate it. Lie back and relax, enjoy a super-charged intense hydration in just 15 minutes and your face will feel amazingly glowing and reawakened. A more radiant-looking you will appear among the ‘walking-dead’. Trust me, this paper thin mask will definitely help you bounce back immediately.

As freshers flu inevitably takes its firm grip around campus, I hope your body recovers swiftly and you go back to looking as fantastic as always!

Beauty Tip Of The Week

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ew to beauty blenders? Instead of using it dry or slightly damp pop the whole thing under the tap and get it soaked. It’ll grow loads in size! Squeeze out the excess water and use by dabbing gently onto the skin around any harsh foundation, concealer or contour lines to blend seamlessly. You can also use it to apply your whole face of foundation by dotting it on around your face with you finger and using the sponge in small circular motions to spread and blend.

Ellen Walker

26.filmfeatures

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

Film Editors: Emma Allsopp, Rhian Hunter and Simon Ramshaw

War... of the Words

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INTERSTELLAR

n our new, fresh and hot column (*EXPLOSION*), Haaris Qureshi and Ritwik Sarkar battle it out over Christopher Nolan’s divisive space-epic Interstellar, where Matthew McConaughey and co. go interstellar to save the earth when they are hit by perpetual blight. In similar fashion to Nolan’s other heady sci-fi, Inception, there’s a lot to chew on as he makes a whole new world...

In Defence

There are many reasons why Interstellar deserves recognition as not only a great piece of science fiction, but of cinema. The most apparent is the film’s very brilliant execution of hard science fiction – that is, science fiction that’s very grounded in either existing or theoretical physics. It helps when one of the executive producers of the film is Dr. Kip Thorne. The film brilliantly shows that it is possible to create science fiction ‘rigorously grounded in science’ (as The Space Review comments in its review of The Science of Interstellar). Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson, another American astrophysicist, has also expressed how realistic Interstellar is, giving it a 9/10 for realism.

Apart from being a brilliant demonstration of science (also, may I add two scientific papers were written as a direct result of Interstellar) the film is very dramatic. From its fantastic score from Hans Zimmer, to the very human acting of the cast, particularly from Matthew McConaughey, the film definitely resonated with me and was one I enjoyed rewatching.

No penis, mo’ problems With the release of Suffragette, the debate on gender inequality in Hollywood has resurfaced, Sunil Nambiar investigates privilege of the penis variety

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t a recent press conference for her upcoming movie Suffragette, the brilliant Meryl Streep expressed her frustration at the lack of female voices amongst American film critics. Previously, Emma Watson reflected that, thus far, she had been directed by a total of 17 male directors and a mere 2 female directors.

That same month, Anne Hathaway told the New York Times that, in the professional realm, she had been “treated differently because [she] was a woman”, while Helen Mirren discussed the “profound sexism” in the film industry with The Guardian.

If wages reflect worth within an industry, women in film apparently aren’t worth very much. A leaked e-mail exchange, a product of last November’s Sony Pictures Entertainment hack, shed light on the wage disparity between the two female leads

and three male leads of American Hustle where, despite almost equal screen time, the female leads were each paid 7% of the film’s profits, while the male leads and male director were each paid 9%.

This lack of value towards women in film is conceivably due to the narrow scope of roles available.

In this year’s highest-grossing films, we observe male leads in a range of roles: a dinosaur trainer and researcher (Chris Pratt in Jurassic World), a celebrated and deadly marksman (Bradley Cooper in American Sniper), superheroes (Avengers, AntMan), professional street racers who are also affectionate fathers (Furious 7), and suave espionage agents (Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation). Men, it seems, can be anything: strong, smart, lethal, extraordinary, sensitive, sophisticated.

Female leads in this year’s highest-grossing films have had a more uninspiring scope of rep-

resentation: personified emotions (Inside Out), an innocent, long-suffering orphan whose be-all and end-all is marriage to a prince (Lily James in Cinderella), and an innocent, bland college senior who cooperatively becomes an outlet for a male billionaire’s sexual inclinations (Dakota Johnson in Fifty Shades of Grey).

Perhaps this bias has stemmed from our traditional experiences with gender roles; chiefly the heteronormative ideal of the breadwinning male returning from work to an aproned wife. It is not unlikely that the same children growing up with this microscopic view of gender roles have become consumers and industry bigwigs who expound the versatility of the male identity and the subservient, domestic limitations of female identity.

But, this model of gender roles must not and cannot last. Throughout the modern world, gender dynamics are changing rapidly. Encouragingly, the film industry and its consumers are gradually recognising the growing social and economic power of women. Amongst the top ten highest-grossing films in the American box office this year, four films feature women in leading roles and/or have a female director and/or female screenwriter, and are targeted toward female consumers. This is double that of a decade ago.

However, until women acquire equal representation and standing throughout the film industry, these progressions are not enough. This is not merely a question of giving talented, deserving women the jobs they deserve. This is about the film industry finding the integrity to produce truthful and meaningful representations of the diverse sexual, racial and economic landscape we live in, and for its consumers to welcome this change.

O, Bourne, where Saimon rt Ramshaw thou?

Another year goes by, another Matt Damon rescue-­movie.

discovers just what makes a Damon-­disappearance epic tick ***SPOILERS WITHIN***

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In Offence Despite a ‘stellar’ cast, Interstellar used breathtaking visuals to compensate for the glaring plot-holes on far too many occasions. Though a familiar metanarrative, Nolan’s refusal to utilise formulaic tropes destroyed what could’ve been one of the movies of the 21st century.

The filmmaker’s efforts to blur the lines of astrophysics and usher in complex notions of space and time are more confounding than awe inspiring.

And then there’s Matt Damon’s role, the promise of which builds up excruciatingly to an infuriating anti-climax that typifies the entire movie. Interstellar had all the potential of a full-bred stallion, but all the delivery of a donkey on steroids: a disappointing movie that needs a cinema to be enjoyed, and an ignorance of plot to be appreciated.

ike Randy Orton before him, Matt Damon has come OUTTA NOWHERE and become a meme sensation as soon as people realised what the central conflict of his new film, The Martian, actually is. Yet again, poor Matt has been stranded in some godforsaken place, with either vast distances of space or Nazi occupation separating him from his Oh-So-Patriotic American chums. American loves him so much that they spend huge amounts of dollar trying to get him back home by teatime. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I haven’t seen The Martian yet, but I’m sure there’s a much more effective way of doing things than the 141 minute running-time would suggest…

Take Interstellar, for example. Matt Damon’s Dr Mann has travelled to bloody Jupiter and wormholed his way through space and time to a planet where clouds are made of ice. What a bloomin’ fool.

It’s up to Matthew McConaughey (who Damon can do a decent impression of on a good day) and his team of expendable human/robots plus Anne Hathaway to save him and the rest of America. Yet this proves to be a fruitless task when he doublecrosses the crew and uses their ship as a means of running off home like a big yellow chicken.

“Matt Damon’s Dr Mann has travelled to bloody Jupiter and wormholed his way through space and time”

However, he misuses an airlock and blows apart the mothership, making it very difficult for him to actually get rescued (because he dead).

It’s only when the fifth-dimensional beings come in and manipulate time and space that McConaughey and MUUUUURRRPH! are able to save the day, and it’s all because Matt Damon didn’t know how to operate an airlock properly. Had NASA done their job in the first place and train the guy properly, they wouldn’t have needed to fork out more money to send A-listers into deep

space. Silly NASA.

“I’m sure Will Hunting is a good guy, but he sure is inconsiderate with America’s budget”

The same could be said for the US Armed Forces in Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan, where they send Tom Hanks, another Oscarwinning actor, after Damon’s titular missing private. Except James Ryan is one wild goose, and they bump into Nathan Fillion and tell him his brothers are dead, causing a monumental waste of time and a lot of emotional stress for Firefly’s charismatic leading man.

Two acts later, they find him, and the majority of the cast (like in Interstellar after it) ends up pushing daisies.

Damon survives this one so his character can appear in the film’s framing device, but at what cost? The demise of Oscar-winning/ nominated persons and ordinary people and millions of dollars of tax-payers money. I’m sure Will Hunting is a good guy, but he sure is inconsiderate with America’s budget.

So why does Damon persist in getting lost in far-off places? Maybe it’s a memory-loss thing, brought on by more wasteful American expenditure in the Bourne movies. Maybe it’s a desire to get away from it all and do some more Oscarwinning writing. Maybe we’ll never know. But the man himself has left us with some inspiring words on the matter: “MATT DAMON.”

The Courier

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Monday 19 October 2015

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he iconic Shakespearean tragedy, following the story of a Scottish general who is prophesised to become King of Scotland by a group of mysterious witches, has yet again been adapted into the medium of film.

First off, I have to establish the reason I simply couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t rate this film any higher. An absolute masterpiece of filmmaking combined with stellar performances from the main cast, Macbeth will definitely not fail to disappoint fans of the Fass, Shakespearean adaptations or those with a particular affinity for beautiful cinematography. However, what I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get past as a member of the audience was the glaring issues with sound and dialogue. Whilst I applaud the preservation of the original (albeit heavily condensed) Shakespearean script, the combination of breathy delivery and dense Scottish accents rendered the dialogue nigh on impossible to understand at times. Only those familiar with the narrative will perhaps be able to transcend this problem â&#x20AC;&#x201C; I, for one, having a very limited knowledge of the original play, found it extremely difficult to follow the plot and characterisation without help from my seasonedMacbeth-fan companion.

Despite all of this, Macbeth remains a prime example of the ways in which canonical English literature â&#x20AC;&#x201C; in this case, Shakespeareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plays â&#x20AC;&#x201C; provide ample material from which directors can develop differing interpretations, placing focus on particular elements over others. The cinematography is stunning throughout: panoramic shots of beauti-

ful Scottish landscapes, the foggy highlands and smoky silhouettes against a fiery backdropâ&#x20AC;ŚEven the overuse of slow-motion scenes can be excused in terms of their flawless execution. The artistic elements of the film are arguably its best features.

However, in a departure from most Macbeth adaptationsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; focus on the conniving, manipulative Lady Macbeth, Kurzelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s version places emphasis on the traumatic experiences of war and grief. Beginning with a poignant scene establishing Macbethâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s position as war-wearied warrior and grief-stricken father, his subsequent descent into madness is given an entirely new layer of meaning with this depiction of what is almost certainly intended to echo the modern medical phenomena of posttraumatic stress disorder. Perhaps the most striking example of this is that of the ghostly apparition of Banquo at a feast after Macbeth is crowned. The traumatised Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sanity begins to unravel and become apparent to all, clearly arousing suspicion

and dissent and gesturing toward a tragic demise.

Cotillardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lady Macbeth shines here too, perfecting the sense of anxiety that their murderous deeds will eventually be revealed.

While Lady Macbeth takes a seat in the peripheries in Kurzelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s adaptation, the depth of emotion in Cotillardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s striking performance perfectly complements Fassbenderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s depiction of Macbethâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s struggle with the guilt that plagues him throughout. Fassbender executes the role perfectly â&#x20AC;&#x201C; if thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s any reason to go and see Macbeth, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s it.

The inner conflict between ambition and guilt, at times transcending dialogue and at times beautifully portrayed through original Shakespearean blank verse, is embodied by Fassbenderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s extremely emotional and moving performance â&#x20AC;&#x201C; undoubtedly a contender for glory at the 2016 Academy Awards.

More like this: Braveheart (1995)

Miss You Already (12A)

The Martian (12A)

Legend (18)

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itt plays the titular character Jesse James with a flawless subtlety, portraying him as a larger-than-life character that dominates every scene he is in, despite the focus of the film being split equally between Pittâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and Bob Fordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s character (Casey Affleck).

Multi-dimensional Pitt is dark, almost menacing yet vulnerable in his interpretation. This underrated masterpiece takes the Western genre to a new level, giving the tale of the great American outlaw a personal dimension, allowing the audience to connect with the man, the myth, the legend - Jesse James.

Rhian Hunter

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heartbreaker as much as it is a comedy, Catherine Hardwickeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s film will make you laugh, cry, and leave you with a philosophical dilemma: what do you say to someone whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recently been diagnosed with breast cancer? And what about when they recover but the cancer recurs â&#x20AC;&#x201C; fatally â&#x20AC;&#x201C; in the brain?

The story follows best-friends Jess (Drew Barrymore) and Milly (Toni Collette) as they come to terms with the fragility of human life. On hand are their two very different husbands: a quiet engineer (Paddy Considine) and a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;grown-upâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; rockstar (Dominic Cooper).

The film deals with a range of topics: cancer, fertility, family, affairs â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t afraid to be bold.

Neither Millyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mother nor husband can cope with looking at her face, let alone her mastectomy scars, driving the now-terminal cancer sufferer to sleep with a barman. An understandable affair: cancer patients still have desires; they still need to be appreciated, to be loved. Particularly harrowing is Millyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s relationship with her children: first having to explain chemotherapy using a cartoon, before having to forewarn them that she wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be coming home: â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;But youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not going to die, are you, mummy?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; At the same time, the film does this with a sense of humour. Jess and Milly hire a sympathetic taxidriver to take them from London to the Yorkshire Moors (cue a cheer from the audience), only to be greeted by a mardy guesthouse-owner who probably didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t appreciate being asked to get into bed with the women.

Colletteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;selfishâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; character has a tendency to come across as cold and unsympathetic, yet attracts sympathy nonetheless. There are witty moments, counterbalanced by the seriousness of Millyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s illness. The film humanely breaks-down a series of film-industry taboos, and more importantly makes the viewer question them.

n The Martian, based on the novel of the same title by Andy Weir, Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is on a mission on Mars with five colleagues. Together they form the crew of Hermes, a spaceship that is at station Ares III to learn more about the planet.

However, when an unexpectedly strong storm whips over the red desert-like landscape they are forced to initiate an emergency evacuation. The team makes their way back to their ship, during which Mark is hit by debris and swept away from his friends. Thinking him dead, his friends leave the planet. For a while everyone on Earth thinks the same, but on Mars, Mark wakes up again, all alone.

The Martian felt very intense. Occasional wideangle shots of Mars increase the feeling of desolation that emanates from Mark. The scenes on Mars, where Mark labours to keep himself alive, stand in stark contrast with the scenes of Earth, where hundreds of people are involved in orchestrating a way to save Mark and keep the media satisfied. Despite the size of the cast, I still got attached to many of the characters, even minor ones. The dynamics between these characters were interesting to watch, especially when their discussions led to the questioning of morals and how much they could do.

Another thing I liked was the usage of the many different cameras Mark uses to log his experiences on Mars, they provided the film with interesting angles.

However, I also feel like there was an element missing: the majority of screen-time is split between Mark and Earth, with little time dedicated to the crew of Hermes. I wanted to see more of the emotional impact their journey and assumed loss of their friend had on them.

Overall, I really enjoyed The Martian. It is definitely a must-see for any space-geeks, but I would recommend it to anyone who likes films that pack a big punch.

om Hardy provides tons of entertainment as he plays twins Ronnie and Reggie Kray in Brian Helgelandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fifth film, showcasing the rise and fall of the gangster-twinsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; criminal outfit in 1960s London.

The performances of Tom Hardy are the spotlight of Legend; as Reggie, he is a calculating entrepreneur attempting a departure from a life of crime at the request of his wife Frances (Emily Browning). However as Ronnie, he plays a violent, homosexual paranoid schizophrenic who refuses to leave their gangster lifestyle, and drags Reggie down with him.

Legend is a very enjoyable film; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shot beautifully, with vibrant colours popping to bring 1960s London to life, and has an accompanying soundtrack of classic hits which never stop, giving it energy and momentum. However, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be fooled into thinking this is the next Scarface or The Departed; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not as strong plot-wise, and also less violent. With an 18 rating, its scenes of violence pack a punch and are extremely satisfying in a world filled of seemingly PG-rated action films. However, those few scenes leave you wanting more, and while the soundtrack provides life, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actually the scenes devoid of music that provide the most.

At its core, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actually a story of the relationship between Reg and his wife Frances and the effect the gangster life has on her, as well as the relationship of the twins as they try to balance life, business and each other. A lot of the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heart comes from Frances, who tells the bloody tale, and is possibly the only truly â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;goodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; person among them. But while a lot of the laughs come from Ronnieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blunt observations, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actually his self-recognised flaws which also provide soul to an otherwise nasty character.

Although maybe not the British Scarface some were expecting, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let its flaws put you off: itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a greatly enjoyable film â&#x20AC;&#x201C; go see it.

More like this: 50/50 (2011)

More like this: Prometheus (2012)

More like this: Goodfellas (1990)

Francis Williams

Christa Tjadens

George Naylor

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he worst Oceanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s film â&#x20AC;&#x201C; although Thirteen comes close. The film is a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;sequel for the sake of itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;: the start is painfully sluggish, the plot complex, and the end negates the point of it all â&#x20AC;&#x201C; if there even is a pointâ&#x20AC;Ś This film is purely a vehicle for Clooney and Pitt to â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;bring home the bacon,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; and despite a stellar cast including Don Cheadle, Julia Roberts and Matt Damon, it fails to satisfy. Not one of the cast stretches the limits of their abilities, and in an attempt to be slick and sharp the scriptâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s throwaway lines are lost and unmemorable. In a film that simply doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t live up to the original â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Rat Packâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; romp Oceanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 11, Brad Pitt delivers a mediocre performance as Rusty Ryan.

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grotesque work of genius, Se7en tells the story of two detectives tracking down a serial killer whose meticulously masterminded murders correspond to the seven deadly sins.

Sinister and creative, the murders shock and disturb us, while Pitt, convincingly plays the rookie detective shocked by the extent of evil humans are capable of. The filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intelligence is astounding; the twists and turns in the plot push Pittâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s acting skills to new limits, while the ensemble cast of Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow and Kevin Spacey compliment the work of Pitt to create a chilling, neo-noir production.

Imogen Scott-Chambers

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The Courier

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’ve loved books all my life but only read a real book when I was 12 years old. Yeah, it is possible. I have a visual impairment and therefore the printed word was accessible to me until I had 6 years of surgery. But I was still a book worm - of the insanely addicted variety. My answer to this wee problem was: audiobooks.

“Charles Dickens is actually quite funny with brilliant characters when you no longer have 900 fucking pages”

This works for everyone who can hear and it allows you do other things while you’re ‘reading’.

They get such great readers to do the recordings that it gives life to words that some people just can’t find any interest books. Actors like Stephen Fry or some are even read by the authors themselves, so you get to know exactly how they wanted the book to be read. It’s a completely different experience. My favourite part is that it gets me through some of the longest books – great, oh my gosh far too long. Charles Dickens is actually quite funny with brilliant characters when you no longer have to 900 fucking pages.

“Stop missing out on getting to know amazing worlds and characters” The drawback is that they are more expensive to ordinary books, it screwed me over pocket-money-wise when I was a child. But libraries and charity shops have audiobook sections. Also, there are subscriptions like Audible.com, but my favourite cheat way is to find them on YouTube. It’ll even give you recommendations after a while, only problem is that if copyright find out then they get removed pretty sharpish, and that’s gutting.

I like it because it opens new worlds the people who have difficulty reading, like dyslexics or chronically lazy people. Rick Riordan, author of the Percy Jackson series, knows this expensive pain in the arse for dyslexics so audiobooks of his stuff is all the same price as the books. I really respect that kind of initiative. Thank you, Rick! I feel bad ripping off audiobooks when all authors do what Rick Riordan does – you guys should care for all kinds of readers (insert self-righteous angry face here).

“Listen to the words rather than read them, most of my education is done this way”

Podcasts are also really useful, Welcome To Night Vale is hilarious and has a massive fan base now.

Cabin Pressure is lively as well. Even the readers most attached to their paper and ink books sourced from Waterstones are gah gah for these podcasts. They offer something completely different and it gives you an alternative to music while you cook, or run, or go to the gym or clean or Facebook or plagued with insomnia. Radio 4 hasn’t really caught onto the younger audience idea yet but some of their stuff is worth a try. Who knows you make be an Archers fan and never know it.

To conclude, (because I’m a third year and can’t write anything without an obvious conclusion) you guys who don’t enjoy or have not time to read. Read another way. Stop missing out on getting to know amazing worlds and characters, and not getting super cool literary references from your nerdier friends. Listen to the words rather than read them, most of my education is done this way. Preachy bullshit over and I hope you managed to read all this to get my point.

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elissa Wear interviews Jordan Fish, bartender at The Botanist on whether the “best looking bar in England” serves the best looking drinks.

The most satisfying response to a drink? ‘The Strawberry and Cucumber Breeze’ wins the popularity contest every time. It was one of the original survivors still on a menu. It’s the all-favourite-strawberry that catches the intoxicated menu reader. For some insectile reason, people are attracted to red.

In comparison - ‘The Botanist’, their signature drink. Virtually transparent, it is a blend of the grey of jasmine, a faint yellow of elderflower and clear rum and vodka add no hue to the palette. Yet, it is the most beautiful drink. On appearance, Jordan describes this stony concoction as “a version of magic”. It is the Le Corbusier’s Barbican of the menu.

Once the cocktail is built, presentation is fundamental. The glasses described as “bog-standard” are sculptures to me – a sensory experience as you handle your poison. Ice is key; crushed ice doesn’t melt as fast as cubed and even where cubed ice is used, it is topped with a “crushed cap” which offers a better finish and holds the garnish better. The garnishes are outrageous: “big is best”, the cucumber is like a surf board in the glass. What a way to leave an impression on the girl who ordered “the red one”.

These cocktails have inspired me to make my own at home - why not be more experimental with your drinks? As long as you don’t mix too

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“Scent and flavour are accentuated by the herbs The Botanist is unique for”

Orange zest in popularly added in the cocktail world for pure aesthetic. It adds no flavour value but the contrast of colour is simply arresting. But in some cases, like the Strawberry and Cucumber Breeze, the garnish sign posts the contents.

Beyond colour identity (and a poor one at that; “I’ll have that red one, please”), quality of ingredients is integral to what makes a cocktail excellent.

Scent and flavour are accentuated by the herbs The Botanist is unique for. For example, Rosemary and sage are not standard ingredients in the cocktail scene.

How does this course of individuality prove for the average bartender? In a bar where staff undergo an intensive 3 weeks of training to ensure that Cherry and Sage Sling served in Birmingham is identical to the one served in Newcastle, is the creativity of mixology lost? ‘The Botanist’ cocktail has been sold 20,000 times this year so it is no wonder that there is some behind-the-bar preference for making the cocktails hiding in the corners of the menu. It could be speculated that repetition

The Botanist

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steals identity.

For such strict specifications, I am certain some originality is yearned for. It is lucky then that the development of recipes suggested by the Bar Guru

“Ice is key; crushed ice doesn’t melt as fast as cubed”

at Head Office to the staff on the bar.

The performance of making a cocktail is an art.

However, there isn’t enough space for ‘flare’ in The Botanist, particularly on peak nights. Therefore, speed, flavour and efficiency is prioritised. In the industry, flaring is known to excite younger bartenders. A decade in, flavour triumphs.

Veiled in velvet live music with the constant clink of insatiable long drinks, wrapped in a warm glow of candles, The Botanist seduces all senses with its effortless remembrance of the Belle Époque and bohemian inclinations of 1895.

There is food as well, and a tree house in a tree on the bar in the dome.

There is a magnificent loft cove, perfect for the incurable romantic.

The hidden balcony side street amongst the eaves is paved with stones and lined with small dinky huts.

The Botanist makes you feel happy, more confident. There, you can be yourself.

Go, Live, L’Amour.

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ating back to the 15th Century, this manuscript from the Newcastle University archives is striking in its authenticity and sophistication. Used by monks for the purpose of chanting, The Breviary is written in Flemish, points to the origins of this religious group.

With finger marks on the page and the pages being worn with age, there is a real feel of a living history when looking at this piece. Focusing on the pages themselves, there is an impression of intricacy of the way that this was written, with an interesting side note being that the capital letters being how readers differentiated between a break in the verse.

A manuscript as historical as this requires delicate handling, which make me really appreciate how important relics like this are. The metal clasp on the side is golden and initially seems it might be difficult to open, but slips open quite easily, even though it can leave the reader understanding the fragility of this piece. It is clear that much thought and precision has been put into the front cover of The Breviary, with a pattern focused in the centre of it. When looking at the pages from the exterior, many have become crinkled with age, but it is still obvious how well it has been preserved throughout the years.

The process for looking at relics such as these is one that must be done in a specific way to as to ensure that these books are preserved in the best way possible. These artefacts are a brilliant resource for anyone studying history so that they can get a really good feel for the history that they are studying, or even just for someone that has an interest in the authenticity of manuscripts.

Although the text has become worn with age, and many of the words are missing, the reader is given the opportunity to understand how much it has been used since its publication, and see how the monks professed an important part of their faith.

With finger marks on the page and the pages being worn with age, there is a real feel of a living history when looking at this piece”

Many manuscripts have been hand-written in black ink, usually with a large, curling red letter to begin the start of a sentence, chapter or prayer.

What I find most beautiful about the inside of a manuscript, except for the beautiful Latin language of the older manuscripts, is the intricate designs bordering the writing. Leaves and geometrically perfect swirls have been hand-drawn with gold swirls encircling each other, and bright green leaves and ruby like reds, giving the whole manuscript a celestial feel to it. The large clasps on mant of these manuscripts along with the leather bound style of the book also gives these manuscripts a biblical feel to them, as many manuscripts were owned by priests, who used these to hand write their own sermons. even the distinct smell of old leather and rustic paper is empowering. Once you have touched a manuscript, you will never be the same again.

The Courier

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eing a native of Merseyside, I am used to gazing over the deep brown-green of the river and the towering structures which make up Liverpool’s city skyline, therefore I’m no stranger to art galleries.

I am used to the old musk of ancient paint and carefully-applied wood polish of the Walker and the grandeur and loud, vibrant modernity of the Tate. The Hatton Gallery, then, is a change from what I am used to: it is blended in with the university’s fine art department, allowing for continual adaptation, and far smaller than the galleries back home.

watch the landscape for signs of danger. It had my attention for most of my visit.

“Another exhibition that really caught my eye was Memorious Earth”

“What really set the Hatton Gallery apart from the galleries back home was the friendliness I was greeted with”

Upon entering, I was greeted by sunlight streaming in through the ceiling-to-floor windows onto Laurence Kavanagh’s October (Star and Shadow).

It struck me immediately with a dark streak of absence at the centre of the piece, as though there was a hole in the middle to somewhere dark and unknown. Kavanagh himself referred to the surface as a ‘death mask.’ The piece haunted me throughout my journey deeper into the gallery, repeatedly popping up as a sort of sign pointing me back the way I’d come, reminding me it was there. I adore the piece as both a pure aesthetic and a comment on the distance between reality and cinema and

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his week Theatre Royal is set to show Bill Kenwright’s new stage adaptation of the alltime classic film, The Shawshank Redemption. Based on the short story by Stephan King, this stage version of The Shawshank Redemption has been created by Owen O’Neill and Dave Johns, and directed by David Esbjornson.

The production tells the exhilarating story of Andy Dufresne, an inmate at the infamous Shawshank confinement. Andy has been charged with a double life sentence for the ruthless murder of his wife and her lover – a crime Andy insists he did not commit. As Andy soon discovers, life at Shawshank is not easy; however his struggle is slightly eased by the somewhat surprising companionship he develops with the prison’s fixer, Red. Formerly a banker, Andy has a natural flair for accountancy and once this is discovered by one of the wardens, Andy experiences one problem after another.

Andy is forced to devise a master plan in attempt to regain both his pride and his freedom.

“Although he’s dedicated most of his career to TV, Robinson is not new to the stage” Leading the cast and performing the roles of Andy and Red (played by Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman in the original film) are TV regulars Ian Kelsey and Patrick Robinson. Although he’s dedicated most of his career to TV Robinson is not new to the stage, with his past work including leading roles with the Royal Shakespeare Company and in London’s West End. With such a strong cast and story line combined, The Shawshank Redemption promises to be transfixing - whether you’re a theatre goer or a film lover, I definitely think this production is worth a watch!

Jade Holroyd

how it is felt by the audience.

Another exhibition that really caught my eye was Memorious Earth by Autumn Richardson and Richard Skelton. A video showing only a black and white image of gently rolling country hills with fog waving over them, interspersed with poetry describing in rich detail the landscape, it was an extremely diverse piece. Its ambient music was unsettling, growing louder and more intimidating as the video continued and seemed to compel me to

One of the most famous pieces of art displayed at the gallery is Kurt Schwitters’ Merz Barn wall, a fully constructed nd plastered wall, designed and built in the Lake District. It is a beautiful design of shapes and features, making it almost seem like a magical wall to an enchanted castle. When asked how the wall was imagined and brought to life, Schwitters replied, ‘all it is, is form and colour, just form and colour’. What really set the Hatton Gallery apart from the galleries back home was the friendliness I was greeted with when I entered. I was lucky enough to be part of the Big Draw Event, to relax and doodle while contributing something to an international campaign. All in all, it was a wonderful, homely gallery and I look forward to re-visiting.

The Hatton Gallery is based on campus and is free to visit, with its opening times being 9-5 Monday through to Saturday.

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“The lines are learned through recordings of the script at rehearsals”

In order to fully understand the script and the meaning of the language, those involved in the production used the Whelan technique, through which the lines are learned through recordings of the script at rehearsals. This technique let the cast act from the first rehearsal whilst also allowing them to partially play to the atmosphere within the theatre and the audience as well. This, I found, allowed Shakespeare to be more accessible to the modern audience, more fluid and definitely more enjoyable.

Katie Read

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ith all our modern day technology, cameras built in to every phone and Snapchats flying about faster than the speed of light, is literature being lost through the art of photography? Or are we simply expressing ourselves in a different way, through the gallery of Instagram as opposed to a painting in a real gallery?

“Everyone has their own opinion and answer for this question”

Many could argue that over the years, through the production of comic books, every animated drawing there IS worth a thousand worths, even with the added subtitles. As a literature student, I still don’t fully believe that every picture can be worth a thousand words, but I do believe that many photos can be worth many more than a thousand – maybe even three thousand. Or even an entire novel. The difference between image and text here is the fact that whereas a photo of picture can be ambiguous, text is set and unmoved.

Text can only be rewritten by the authors themselves, and is therefore unchangeable in regards to its subjective meaning. On the other hand, a photo or painting can be interpreted by its on-looker in various ways; each individual will take something different from the style and artistic design of a painting, or interpret a different emotion to the colours associated within a photo. For example, a blazing red in any photo or painting can be construed as powerful, dominant or a colour of force. However, many people often associated the colour red with love, romance and passion. Despite this, the colour red is also constructed as the colour of anger and hatred, which opposes the alternative interpretations on so many levels that it becomes questionable whether we see the same things in art as other beings. So can a picture really be worth a thousand words, when that one thousand words we interpret from an image might be different to another’s?

he Tempest is one of Shakespeare’s final plays, and also one of his most famous.

Centred on the story of revenge, repentance and forgiveness, it’s also a play that remains relevant today. This new adaptation by Improbable, directed by Phelim McDermott, uses modern techniques to make this play more accessible to the modern audience.

At the start of the play, a washing machine is at the centre of the stage, while the stage is completely covered with clothes. The actors line up while one of their number loads the machine, including a sheet with a picture of a ship on it. Next, another woman puts in the powder, Ariel, a little play on the name of the magical spirit. The washing machine starts to turn and as it does, the actors take on their roles, with the scene moving to those on board the ship in the storm. They jump overboard, and from there the story begins.

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“A blazing red in any photo or painting can be construed as powerful”

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“The actors take on their roles with the scene moving to those on board the ship”

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An empty house is preferred, an austere silence that crescendos through the walls and echoes from one lonely room to another, the only sound for years are the coarse groans of the front door opening and closing. The muteness is infectious. Begin just before the sun decrescendos and position your hands until they are still; now you can start.

Practise until your fingers are thread an unusable and withered piece that cannot be sewnthe empty house has now been filled; the sounds of the ascending major melodies reach the final climax. Bliss can now be known as the perfect cadence creates completion.

The loveless and forgotten house has now become a home.

Olivia Wilson

“In a deeply artistic personality analysis, we humans have the same problem”

Everyone has their own opinion and answer for this question.

My answer is yes.

Like the image, literature is also interpreted in different ways. Heartfelt displays of love in some literature can be described as revealing weakness of character by some literary critics, whereas some may see these type of scenes described through text as a strength or courageous action to put oneself at the risk emotionally. In a deeply artistic personality analysis, we humans have the same problem through personality conflicts. You might interpret a friend’s body language to being rude through their outspoken nature, where others will see that they are simply opinionated and brutally honest. Shyness can also be misconstrued by outgoing people as being stand-offish, or cold, despite a person not meaning to come across this way.

Linking back, this shows how important the role of individual interpretation is, especially when it comes to the arts. Photography, painting and writing are all art forms in themselves, as is the opinion and personality of a person.

So if you believe a picture is worth a thousand words, then it truly is.

30.tvfeatures

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

TV Editors: Hannah Bunting, Jack Parker and Ellie McLaren

IT *Still down it even if you’re not called Abbey Ritwik Sarkar ensures your Sundays will never be sober again with his list of drinking game rules for Downton Abbey. So don your tiara and monocle and lets get royally trashed.

You will need: -A free Sunday night -A newsagent’s supply of booze -A smoking jacket and your finest china to set the scene 1. Whenever someone drinks on the show, drink until they stop 2. Every time Maggie Smith lays down the law like the badass matriarch she is, take a shot 3. When someone mentions the word ‘war’ - drink for England (ie. a can of John Smiths) 4. When there’s even a vague plot mentioned to go against the ruling family, toast your loyalty with wine 5. When anyone says ‘Poor Edith’, drown her sorrows (and yours) with a shot

Bloody hell, will you please stop mentioning the war? I’m smashed. Chin chin.

6. When the honour of Downtown is at stake, defend it with a hearty ale 7. When any character (big or small) dies, remember them with a shot

Winter is coming (to a theatre near you)

Rumours that a Game of Thrones movie was in the pipeline circulated last month, and although author George R. R. Martin has admitted those rumours were false, he has said it would be pretty cool to do in the future.

Helena Vesty and Helen Daly debate whether the much-loved TV show would work on the big screen

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hilst the thousands upon thousands of fans around the world would love to see as much of the Games of Thrones story as possible, if the new rumours that a film is in the works are indeed true, the transition to the big screen might not be the best move for the show.

To put it lightly, Game of Thrones, by anyone’s standards, is complicated. From the political scheming and secret alliances, to the sheer number of brutal deaths - we have a lot to keep up with.

If this entire world of dark plots and dynasties were to be squashed and slimmed down to fit into a 2 and a half hour film, we would, quite honestly, know nothing. From a practical point of view, it would be an immense challenge to fit all of the information and history of families into a feature-length film, necessary for a storyline of the same calibre as the show. The hour-long episodes are elaborate enough for the audience to have a great experience before the next instalment.

The making of a film, rather than another series would also be a real shame, from a narrative perspective. The number of episodes has allowed the television show to portray so many facets to the world of Westeros. One of the main reasons the series is so interesting for fans to watch, is precisely because of such detailed writing. We get to see the appearance of the different lands, the elaboration of relationships, and how all of the characters

I

’ll level with you: when I first heard about the rumours of a Game of Thrones movie, I was a little underwhelmed and slightly disappointed. It baffles me that in this day and age when TV has quite rightly made the transition from being a form of cheap entertainment and having no real credibility to churn- ing out awardwinning show after award-winning

execute plans, or often people, over time. of the small screen advenWhen given a more limited time slot, ture genre. Making a film the devoted fans may have this developmight only cheapen the ment cut disappointingly short, which response the show has overall would be a poor way to end received, as it would such a successful run of the franchise. simply fade into the There are definite draws to the idea background among of a Game of Thrones film. The higher the hundreds of other budget would allow for even better visfantasy films which are uals, and the IMAX theatres would be produced each year. a fantastic way to see the epic battle To deprive such a loyal scenes, and sweeping landscape shots. following of their weekPerhaps a prequel to the current events ly collective Game of of the show could be made to fill the Thrones session would gap which other action-adventure be a harsh winter in films have left, such as the Lord television indeed. of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies.

Even so, these aspects would not be worth sacrificing the building plot and character growth which we have seen over 5 seasons on television.

Game of Thrones is truly a unique fixture on our TV schedules, being the most popular series, and ultiI haven’t heard of an idea that bad since my brother stood up to Khal Drogo mate example show, we constantly have the reminder that a film adaptation is some kind of honour. It’s thanks to shows like Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead which have proven time and time again that you don’t need to be making movies to make beautiful pieces of cinematography.

Now, you must be getting a little confused: ‘I thought this was the ‘yes’ argument?’

I hear you cry. Well, yes it is. So, here we go.

“It baffles me in this day and age when TV has quite rightly made the decision from being a cheap form of entertainment [...] to churning out award-winning show after awardwinning show, we constantly have the reminder that a film adaptation is some kind of honour”

8. Whenever ‘America’ or ‘American’ is mentioned, strawpedo a bottle of Bud 9. Whenever people walk up the stairs, have some wine (you’re welcome) 10. When any remarks are made about Mary’s appearance, have a sip of wine 11. Every time Daisy is yelled at, drink if you think she deserved it 12. When anyone says, ‘We wont stand for this’, stand up and neck your full drink 13. If Lady Mary ever changes her expression, drink until it goes back to normal

One of the major drawbacks of producing a TV show is the smaller budget; it’s a commonly known fact that films have huge amounts of money pumped into them. Now, if Game of Thrones already looks and sounds amazing, just imagine what a budget triple the size of the one it already has would turn the show into. Game of Thrones has a huge scale by nature so

What do you mean we’ve run of Lambrini?

Continue the debate online: thecourieronline.co.uk/tv

I won’t be so little on the big screen

it makes sense that that this should be emulated in the production. The possibilities would be endless given the equipment the producers would have access to. Although let’s not lie, perhaps they shouldn’t have access to everything; I’m more than happy to admit that Game of Thrones 3D would be abysmal because no-one, I repeat no-one, would want to see the Viper’s head popping in complete 3D glory.

Game of Thrones has often been known as ‘event television’. As sad as the fact may seem, our favourite violent fantasy drama will eventually come to an end (*sob*). For me, I can’t think of a better way to end one of the best shows on TV than with a feature-length epic battle on the big screen. I wouldn’t suggest this of any show; it would seem a bit silly to have Geordie Shore: The Movie, but each to their own, I guess.

Now, I’ll admit that one of the triumphs of Game of Thrones is its ability to manage many stories at the same time, giving them each the screen time they deserve. It might be difficult to cram this all in one movie but imagine, if you will, an episode like ‘The Watchers on the Wall’ in film format for a moment. One, big battle movie with dire consequences (Jon and Ygritte forever) would be the massive piece of event cine-TV that the fans deserve.

You read that right: we, as loyal fans, deserve a big treat. After all the deaths we’ve been through, we should be given the gift of the producers throwing absolutely everything into one, final episode-movie. So, come on George, if you really love us, give us a movie.

The Courier

highlightstv.31

Monday 19 October 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

Curb your enthusiasm

pet

L American Horror Story: Hotel FOX (UK), Tuesday, 10pm

O

ver the years we have all become familiar with the sinister and terrifying changeable settings in the seasons of American Horror Story. With the newest season coming to us on the 20th of October, how can we expect Hotel to follow, and deviate from, the patterns of its predecessors?

The first notable differences are that of the cast; longtime AHS veteran Jessica Lange is bowing out of this season to appear on Broadway in another Ryan Murphy production (there are rumours of her returning to the franchise if given a character to work with around her theatre schedule). However, the new and exciting character of the Hotel season is the macabre hotel’s owner, The Countess

(Lady Gaga). How well the singer will fit into the franchise is up for debate, with her previous acting credits amounting to visually stunning music videos and cameos in films such as Sin City 2. Lady Gaga is a controversial person in her own right, so her addition to the franchise is not only understandable but also elevates the excitement and anticipation for the newest season.

The similarities to past seasons are apparent; striking visual effects, sexual perversity, and the all too familiar allure of outright gore and the shock factors that keep bringing viewers back. These factors stay constant even while their execution differs- Hotel can be expected to be vastly disturbing, given that its setting is a hotel in which multiple murders have happened in the past and are occurring as the season first opens. The blender full of blood shown in a trailer gives the implication of vampiric tendencies in the character of Gaga’s Countess, especially considering the real-life inspiration for the character - Countess Elizabeth Bathory, the world’s most prolific female serial killer who was rumoured to bathe in the blood of

The Vampire Diaries

Made In Chelsea

Fargo

ITV2, Wednesday, 11pm

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her victims. Is it any wonder that this malevolent historical figure was taken as influence?

Something that should be considered whilst watching is Ryan Murphy’s revelation from last year’s Freak Show, when he told Entertainment Weekly that all the seasons were connected. If this is true, and coming from the show’s creator, we can assume that it is, how would Hotel then be connected to something like Coven? From this season, it can be expected that more of the clues to how the seasons all connect will become apparent, maybe even a returning character from a past season to tie this new horror-fest to its previous incarnations.

Scenes of a sexual nature, although definitely not uncommon in the American Horror Story franchise, are expected to be even more intense in Hotel. Sneak previews hint at foursomes, whilst other previews show the less glamorous side of the hotel.

Kathy Bates acting as the gatekeeper, holding keys, seems like a good metaphor for the newest season, as viewers will no doubt will locked into watching it each week, much like its predecessors.

Jenny Cooke

E4,Monday, 9pm

Channel 4, Monday, 9pm

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H

he Vampire Diaries is back for its seventh season and the first without one of its main stars Nina Dobrev, who plays humanturned-vampire Elena Gilbert in the previous seasons of the series. With it comes a new bunch of bad guys, new romances, and friendships that prove that blood isn’t always thicker than water.

Season Six ended off by introducing us to the Heretics, a group of vampires who also possess witch powers, making them doubly dangerous. It probably doesn’t make it any easier for the Salvatore brothers with their birth mother Lily heading this new Heretics “family”. What ever happened to family first? I guess Lily didn’t get that memo. The season’s first episode also gave us a glimpse three years into the future, which honestly, isn’t looking too good.

As someone who has been religiously following this series for six seasons through all its high and lows, the storyline following the Heretics seem to remind me a little too much of when the Original vampires were the villains of the series. At this point I still can’t decide if it’s a good or bad thing.

Maybe because I’m enjoying the Bonnie-Damon besties duo a little too much to even fathom anything happening to either one of them.

Apart from the Heretics, Season Seven definitely seems promising, with a ‘mysterious female hunter’ storyline in the near future. All we know now is that episode one has set us up for a crazy ride this season - and who knows how things will turn out.

I guess we can only keep watching to see how our favourite Mystic Falls vampires cope.

argo, the much lauded TV spin-off of the cult film, has created an art-form out of balancing the utterly bleak with the stylishly quirky. This intricate blend of tragedy and comedy has paid off, winning the show three Emmys, and a further fifteen nominations. Yet Season Two interestingly departs from the winning formula, not least an entirely new cast.

The new season is set in 1979, and follows Lou Solverson (Patrick Watson) as he investigates a series of murders linked to a local crime syndicate. In typical Fargo fashion however, there is much more to it than meets the eye, and a seemingly straightforward robbery-gone-wrong soon brings the likes of The Mob together with beautician Peggy Blomquist (Kirsten Dunst), and her husband Ed Blomquist (Jesse Plemons of Breaking Bad infamy).

Noah Hawley has decided to place the Fargo universe in a specific context, involving then presidential hopeful Ronald Reagan in the town as he passes through on a campaign stop. This has some interesting implications for the series, as the Fargo universe changes from being an abstract allegorical commentary on morality, to one at the centre of a nation in crisis. This season there’s no equivalent Lorne Malvo character (Billy Bob Thornton) to tempt the community into wicked deeds; the evil is lying right under the surface everywhere.

Despite these changes, Fargo will have plenty to keep returning fans happy; with moral dilemmas, grizzly murder, fantastic cinematography, developed performances, and twisted humour aplenty.

Aww jeez, here we go again.

aven’t you heard? The Chelsea elite are back from their summer long party in glamorous LA and have been spotted in their natural habitat, sashaying down the catwalk of Kings Road. But just what did they get up to while they were away?

In short: lies, deception and heartbreak. Oh, and there was that almost wedding ceremony between Jamie and Alex, given by Elvis in Vegas. So, pretty standard really.

With the last series finishing on a dramatic note in a mix of champagne and tears, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been left in anticipation over whether or not Jess, despite rejecting McVitie’s heir Jamie, will finally succumb to his charms. And just what will happen between Binky and JP?! It’s hard to tell from the trailer for series 10, but we can make out that old time favourites Ollie Locke and Richard Dinan will make a triumphant return.

What a time to be alive! Bit sad? Quite possibly.

One thing is for sure, however, and that’s that there will be lashings of legendary Mark-Francis tailored sass; the real reason we all watch Made in Chelsea. So, whilst you’re curled up in bed, recovering from last night’s Jägerbombs, donning your favourite Primarni onesie, and with some leftover pizza by your side (I mean, obviously, right?), let yourself be transported away, first class of course, to lunch at the Bluebird café with Binky, Lucy and Digby. All followed by an elegantly messy night out at Boujis with the rest of the twenty-something socialites. Yea boi!

Nicole Ang

Alex Fontanta

Jasmine Campion

et’s start off with what is a rather controversial opinion: I think Friends is one of the worst television shows that has ever been made. Now, as one of The Courier TV Editors, I realise that you probably expected me to love the show, but no. I want you to hear me out as I try and explain why I’ve just trashed one of your most beloved TV shows. Please, please bear with me on this one.

I’ll start with the biggest bugbear that I have with Friends, it’s just not funny at all. Nothing about it is hilarious, apart from how hilariously unfunny it all is. Are you seriously telling me that you found this dirge even remotely funny? Friends was fairly unfunny even by American sitcom standards, worse than The Big Bang Theory. The problem is with these sorts of “comedies” is that the types of jokes and punchlines are so overused, so laboured to the point that they become jaded, worn out, like a pair of old socks that are holey and are rubbing against your feet and giving you some killer blisters.

“That’s all Friends was reduced to - filler - designed to feed everyone’s addiction to it, their need to have something there to comfort them” Anyway, what else is so tragically bad about Friends is the set up and delivery of punchlines is so poorly done that you can see them a mile off. I don’t know if viewers of Friends need their hand held though the jokes or something, but it definitely seems to be that way. Even a 5 year old could work out a punchline before Joey could ever manage. Notice how I’m not picking fault with the characters themselves, more so the writing of the show. Those damn lazy writers knew they were onto a winner, so wrote the same thing for TEN GODDAMN YEARS, whilst laughing all the way to the bank.

To really drive home the samey-ness of the show, Channel 4 decided to make the most of their UK broadcast rights for Friends by seemingly managing to play all 10 seasons in as many days across their channel portfolio. All 236 episodes were ran and re-ran. Wake up on a Saturday morning, Friends was on, turn on E4 late at night, Friends was on, come in from school, BLOODY FRIENDS WAS BLOODY ON. Thankfully, Channel 4 lost the rights to Friends a couple of years ago, and they haven’t decided to relentlessly air another American sitcom as their bum fluff filler. That’s all Friends was reduced to - filler - designed to feed everyone’s addiction to it, their need to have something there to comfort them when they were feeling down, or simply nothing else was on TV.

“Wake up on a Saturday morning, Friends was on; turn on E4 late at night, Friends was on; come in from school, BLOODY FRIENDS WAS BLOODY ON” Friends was big in its era, but you all need to move on from it, and see it for what it was, really formulaic, monotonous television that you all sat there in front of, like receptacles being filled by other receptacles pouring their endlessly horrendous content into you. If you want to try and watch something similar to Friends, why not watch paint dry or something similar? Fellow haters of Friends, I hope that I have given you the courage to speak up against bad television, never be afraid to share your own opinion.

Jack Parker

32.music

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

Music  Editors:  Jamie  Shepherd,  Dominique  Daly  &  Connor  McDonnell

Living  La         Vida  Local

Music  Editor  Dominique  Daly  has  thrown  together  Local  Music  Starter  pack  to  give  you  the  low  on  Newcas-­ tleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  music  scene

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hen arriving in Newcastle, a city which benefits greatly from such a wealth of local musical talent, it can be hard not to get overwhelmed and as a result avoid the scene all together, opting instead for a few too many rounds perched in the sinners cage. Here are FOUR of the best bands from the North East which will make your time at University glow, like THINKTANKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;what the fuck have you done?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; sign.

Never  mind  the  dollars,  hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  the  sell-­outs :LWK SXQN LFRQV EXWWHULQJ RXU WRDVW DQG IRON VXSHUVWDUV Ă&#x20AC;LUWLQJ ZLWK WHFKQRORJ\ Allister  Chatters  wonders  whether  we  can  ever  trust  our  idols  to  stay  true  to  their  authentic  roots Â

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rowing up means watching my heroes turn human in front of meâ&#x20AC;? screams Soupy, the jaded front man of punk outfit The Wonder Years on the track â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Hoodie Weatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Whilst this may initially appear as egostroking and name dropping, I felt that this particular line holds some relevance to the recent criticism folk-hero Bob Dylan has faced after appearing in the new IBM advert.

Now if you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seen the advert itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pret- ty much the exac t

Lilliput

Lilliput are a Sunderland based band, but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let that put you off. Their debut EP â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Where does the time goâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; released in 2013 was not only a carefully crafted and intricate piece of work which was beautifully produced, it also flowed in its entirety in live performance. A feat which requires masterful musicianship and perfect timings, all of which Lilliput have achieved. Personally, I am a real sucker for a harmony and Lilliput have harmony by the bucketful, the 6 piece band all of which sing to produce a brilliantly blended overall sound. Their new material sees them steer in a slightly different direction however, the multitude of influences from The Beatles, The Hollies, The Beach Boys and many more remain ever present in what promises to be more perfect pop/rock.

Coquin Migale

If itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something a little bit more complex you crave but still firmly situated in the realms of indie, then the Northumbria University formed four piece Coquin Migale are right up your street.

Starting out in 2013, the boys have released an onslaught of impressive track, after impressive track.

Known for their guitar driven, math rock style which has brought them high acclaim with singles like â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;GOLDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, Coquin Migale have set their sights high: gaining attention from the likes of NME and Radio one early in their careers. Newest track â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;LUVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, set to be released on November 20th is a return to form for the lads. Starting out with a haunting air which makes way for blasts of distortion heavy wailing guitar and Alex Soperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intoxicating vocal, which draws you in to Coquin Migaleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dream-like world. Music tinged with shoe-gaze that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t scrimp on hooks either.

Yellow Creatures

What would a Newcastle local music starter pack be without a heavy helping of psychedelic garage rock? A genre which is gaining greater momentum on the scene, following on from the resounding success of bands like SLUG, who have the backing of BBC Radio 6 Music. Yellow Creatures are making some of the most interesting music around Newcastle at the minute. The four piece released their current single â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Calendar Manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in September, and are currently working on their third EP, which is set to be a psychedelic dream if tracks like â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Boxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; are anything to go by. Check them out if you like your music to be both fascinating and a little bit unsettling.

Be  sure  to  follow  us  on  Spotify  so  you  can  have  a  little  listen  to  all  these  lovely  local  lads  -­   https://play. spotify.com/user/thecouri-­ erdoesmusic

â&#x20AC;&#x153;they were bastions of anti-commercialism and the â&#x20AC;&#x153;stick it to the manâ&#x20AC;? attitude of early rock and punkâ&#x20AC;?

early 70â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s through to the 90â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;selling outâ&#x20AC;? was the very worst thing any credible artist could do. From preaching anarchy to then signing to a major record label (cough Anti-Flag cough) moving away from musical roots, all the way to appearing in adverts, artists have faced the wrath of hard-core fans unhappy with their favourite artist â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;selling outâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. In recent years those who have felt it worst are John Lydon, member of legendary punk group The Sex Pistols, for appearing on a Country Life advert for the tune of ÂŁ8 million and Iggy Pop for his cringe inducing insurance adverts. I think the main problem music fans have with this is that it offers nothing to them. In my opinion music should be about the listeners, if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in it for the money or fame then youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in the wrong business, creating excellent albums and expressing yourself creatively should be at the forefront of your mind as a mu-

Lisbon

Big fan of infectious indie pop that will have even the most dedicated deep house fan forgetting themselves and dancing like Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bell Air? Lisbon are the boys for you then! Recently gracing the stage at Newcastle Universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very own Freshtival, they have been making serious waves with their debut EP â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Life is Goodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Their songs are simplistic, feel good pop with catchy hooks and bouncing guitars.

cheese-fest youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d expect, in it a computer and Dylan have a strained conversation in which the computer explains how it had analysed all of Dylanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lyrics and could summarise the entire catalogue of 400 something songs into â&#x20AC;&#x153;time passes and love fadesâ&#x20AC;?. Que a smile of agreement from Dylan, some quirky fun joke about them collaborating and then Dylan slinks off screen guitar in hand leaving the audience, well in particular me, wondering two things. One, why is Dylan wandering around the IBM HQ with his guitar? And secondly, by appearing in this advert, along with the Chrysler and Apple ones too, has Bob Dylan â&#x20AC;&#x153;sold outâ&#x20AC;??

Bob Dylan has not been the first artist to be labelled as a â&#x20AC;&#x153;sell outâ&#x20AC;?. In fact stretching from the

sician. In this respect I can give some lenience to Lydon as much of the proceeds from the advert actually went to pay for Public Image Ltd. to tour again, offering something to his fans.

The other problem I have with these acts is that in their day, and to some extent even now, they were

â&#x20AC;&#x153;All of Dylanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lyrics and could summarise the entire catalogue of 400 something songs into â&#x20AC;&#x153;time passes and love fadesâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;?

bastions of anti-commercialism and the â&#x20AC;&#x153;stick it to the manâ&#x20AC;? attitude of early rock and punk. By appearing in adverts this view seems fairly hypocritical as they are buying into what they previously condemned. Arguably watching our heroes turn into humans more obsessed with wealth than artistic credibility. From this alone I believe Dylan has at least sold out on his ideals, although perhaps not his music. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hoping Soupy never sells out.

More  of  Dylanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Sell  Out  Sins: Victoriaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Secret Dylan awkwardly plays his guitar while a bunch of models parade in their smalls.

Apple More guitar picking against a white background and plugging the iTunes demon Cadillac Driving through the desert wearing a stetson and aviators. This screamed Americana.

Free  Musical  Express  2:  Still  loving  the  NME With  the  NME  now  being  a  free  publication,  Serena  Bhardwaj  argues  that  the  publication  may  very  well  have  lost  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  way  and  replaced  killer  with  ¿OOHU

I

should start by putting it out there that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve always had a sort of love-hate relationship with NME Magazine. Nevertheless, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s begin at the beginning. In 1952, the New Musical Express was born; generally focusing on the alternative and rock music scene. To put it briefly, it followed the start of psychedelia, the rise of grunge and punk, the growth of Madchester, the Britpop war and all indie that followed.

In 2014, the sale of NME hit an all-time low, but this wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the first time that the magazineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s success had been threatened. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been rivalled by Melody Maker and Q Magazine causing a constant shift in popularity; some dissatisfaction came in the early 70s, mid 80s, and increasing apathy has been noted in recent years. Something had to change. Something had to happen to bring a bit of excitement back to the glossy pages of musical chat. So, on September 18th 2015, NME rebranded.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nice easy reading but the substance is lacking...Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s harsh but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really care for the 10 Best one-episode Simpsons charactersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;?

I enjoy reading NME but letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s be honest; the writers know what they like, and they like what they know. Basically, they have their favourites - the likes of Arctic Monkeys, Mumford and Sons etc.

So, with the relaunch this was their opportunity to branch out. Did they do it? Wellâ&#x20AC;Śsort of. NME now focuses not only on music, but also film and style with a dash of news and comment. The magazine is highly influential in the media industry and I suppose it always will be. So, what I do like is that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re slowly talking more about politics; such as the Corbyn feature in the 2nd release. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re currently in an exciting political era and as students are the main target audience for NME, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s good

that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re using their platform to discuss something important. But four weeks in and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen Rihanna, Robert Pattinson, Chris Moyles and Taylor Swift plastered on the front. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m underwhelmed to say the least.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I enjoy reading NME but letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s be honest; the writers know what they like, and they like what they knowâ&#x20AC;?

NME is now completely free which on one hand is brilliant; the slightly steep price tag was the main reason I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t buy every copy. However, it seems to be at the expense of selling out and becoming more commercialised.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a shame that the magazine is moving away from the alternative scene and into pop culture. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got nothing against pop music; it has a place in society, but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think it has a place in the NME because theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never stood for that.

So why have they changed now? If theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done it to please a broader audience then I think theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve gone about it in completely the

wrong way. In terms of the actual content, NME is now filled with an excessive number of advertisements and articles that resemble Buzzfeed pieces instead of top notch music journalism.

If I were to describe the new magazine in one word it would probably be lists.

They seem to love a good list now. For example, the List for Life series that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve started is some nice easy reading, but the substance is lacking. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s harsh but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really care for the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;10 Best oneepisode Simpsons charactersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; - I picked up the magazine for music not filler articles.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll still grudgingly get NME every week, after all it is free, but it seems to have lost its touch unfor tunately.

The Courier

music.33

Monday 19 October 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music

In Dream proves dreamy Editors

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en years after the release of their debut album The Back Room, Editors are back with their fifth studio album In Dream, in what is possibly their most experimental and interesting album to date. Ditching guitars for orchestras, big synthesiser sounds and pianos, Editors paint a beautifully introspective picture as each song seamlessly fades into the next. It may upset fans who long for the days of classic FIFA-esque indie pop guitar-based tunes such as ‘Munich’ and ‘Papillon’.

Their Fourth album The Weight of Your Love had a confused identity, possibly due to the departure

tled song to get in to and broadens the sonic pallet with a huge synth-rock lead sound, a theme that reappears in other tracks. ‘Forgiveness’ takes the album on a menacing turn lyrically as Smith repeatedly tells us that “Forgiveness makes fools of all of us”. Following this ‘Salvation’ sees the band introduce the first heavy use of orchestral instruments as a chorus of violins grandly open the song and continue to punctuate the song with piercing unrelenting chords throughout. In a somewhat mismatched order ‘Life Is A Fear’ takes the album off tangent and hearkens to the jumping synth

Sophie Ahmed talks Massive Attack’s political soundtrack, babies playing the piano and FKA Twigs

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“A crafted, mature sound which is somehow both haunting and unique ”

of Chris Urbanowicz in 2012. The now five-piece, as they were joined by Slowdive’s Rachel Goswell, recorded the self-produced album in isolation in Scotland. Goswell primarily adds subtle husky backing vocals and notably a larger contribution in the song ‘The Law’ in which she and lead singer Tom Smith duet; the slight disparity of their voices combining to chilling effect.

The opener ‘No Harm’s eerie arpeggiatted synthesisers sets the melancholy tone for the rest of the album. Smith shows off his vocal repertoire in stunning isolation as he delivers a low gravelly tone throughout the verse then smoothly shifts into a gliding falsetto in the chorus. The following song ‘Ocean of the Night’ gives the listener a more set-

bass lines and harsh synth leads of the early 1980’s, reminiscent of Gary Numan. ‘All the Kings’ is possibly the best musical effort of the whole album.

Layer upon layer builds up throughout the song and culminates in a soaring incrementing chorus which disguises itself as the silver lining to the cloud. The juxtaposed content of the lyrics holds the darker truth. The journey of the album takes us to its darkest destination with ‘At All Cost’, a song which is a naked vocal and lyrical showcase. With simple unadorned background music, Smith is free to explore new emotional depth. “Out of touch and older than I look, I’ve got nothing to say.” The song is a desperate cry for help, making way for the grandeur of the near 8 minute closing song ‘Marching Orders’.

Editors certainly seem to have found their feet after their previous album. They are not quite the same catchy guitar band the UK grew to love in 2005, but In Dream provides a crafted, mature sound which is somehow both haunting and unique at the same time. The album is a musical journey which tells a story and is a wonderful destination to arrive at after years of exploration and development.

The Light In You

Unbreakable

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Mercury Rev

Janet Jackson

Wavves

“The album is a musical journey which tells a story and is a wonderful destination to arrive at”

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T

ercury Rev releases their first album in seven years with The Light in You. This new LP retains some of the old psychedelic and alternative traits of traditional Mercury Rev yet experiments with orchestral and indie influences. This is particularly apparent in songs such as ‘Are You Ready’ and ‘Emotional Free Fall’, with the latter going further by introducing elements of funk into a tight rhythm section.

The Light in You is an album that picks up pace, with the more energetic songs such as ‘Sunflower’ and ‘Rainy Day Record’ falling into the latter third of the record. Instead the record opens with a collection of ballads, with an intense focus on melody and instrumentation. While ‘The Queen of Swans’ is a fairly strong opening, there are some songs such as ‘Amelie’ that teeter on the edges of dirge.

This is not helped by the monotonous refrain of “Amelie, unlock the door.”

In fact, many of the lyrics in The Light in You fail to capture the mood conveyed by the music.

‘Coming out for air’ provides us with the asinine “dolphin, just another dolphin, like all the other dolphins out there swimming” and ‘Autumn’s in the Air’ gives us “brushing back the tears across the canvas of my face” which is pretentious almost to the extent of self-parody.

However, as with most Mercury Rev albums, its strength lies in how distinctive the sound is. Few artists can emulate the sheer textual complexity that Mercury Rev goes for, and while sometimes the sound can be muddy when too many instruments and sound effects are layered on top of each other, a lot of the time it is impressive. Thus while The Light in You has some weaknesses, this is still a decent listen.

he other night at a party, a friend laughed at me for having Janet Jackson’s ‘Together Again’ on my playlist. I don’t know when it became uncool for a teenage girl to enjoy a good 90s jam, but braids and crop tops aside, Janet’s eleventh album holds two fingers up to the haters because it establishes her as a contemporary artist who isn’t going anywhere yet. Of course, it’s risky naming a comeback album Unbreakable but this title is lived up to by the very fact that an artist almost 50 years of age who peaked in the 90s, is still releasing music.

The opening title track is an instant highlight as it functions similarly to the classic ‘Together Again’ with its mystical harp-sound intro which breaks into a pumping Pop triumph. With the feel-good vibe set for the remainder of the record and her “ever-sacred, everlasting” legacy confirmed, Janet closes the song with a welcoming, “hello” to the listener, and reflects that “she has lots to talk about”.

Perhaps the album does explore serious themes then in contrast to what ‘BUMPITUP! ft. Missy Elliott’ suggests with its liberating lyric, “I’m gonna dance all night and I don’t care”.

This track is more 21st century, but cheesy moments make the album feel dated at times, notably in ‘Dammn Baby’ when a male voice says “now, the breakdown” before a drop in tempo. This is balanced out however by mature, moody, ‘The Great Forever’ and stripped-down ballad ‘After You Fall’.

Unbreakable sits smugly between sophistication and sass and is most successful where it emulates 90s RnB. With regards to Janet’s comeback, there’s no need for music journalists to “blow it up and call it the news” - it blows most 2015 releases out of the water itself.

Daniel Pye

Sophie Ahmed

Electronic Blanket

More than this

Rispah - The Invisible The Invisible’s 2012 release Rispah is littered with tantalising bursts of synths, weighty bass lines and Dave Okumu’s dreamy vocals.

Within the sutures of the sonic soundscape of ‘A Particle of Love’ and the dark depths of ‘The Wall’ is a known despair. Rispah is a selfproclaimed ‘love letter to grief ’. That much is obvious.

La Vie Est Belle/Life is Beautiful - Petite Noir Yannick Illunga released this LP over the summer, and it is a definite contender for the album of the year. The Congo-Angolan coined the term ‘Noirwave’ as a way of writing music that combines all external influence of the songwriter. On this debut album, hear the Afrobeat background of this young producer.

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f you’re looking for a new album to listen to whilst reflecting on your already slightly misspent youth, V, the new album by Wavves, might be just the one for you. V has already been praised as possibly the best album by Wavves yet (receiving a 5 star review from DIY magazine) and features a plethora of songs speaking of hedonism, destruction, and existential crises.

The upbeat, punk-rock style tunes, whilst hook heavy and catchy, also contain an undertone of sadness and emotional turmoil. Their first single from V, ‘Way Too Much’, succinctly summarises the key themes of the album. It speaks of drinking too much, teenage boredom, overthinking and of course featuring a pervading sense of endearing hopelessness. The lyrics are successfully paired with catchy, well-rehearsed choruses and fast paced musical accompaniment.

‘My Head Hurts’, a song not dissimilar to The Vaccines sound of their album Come of Age, repeats the motif of teenage angst over infatuation and overthinking: “I don’t resist, I don’t wanna exist”.

The lyrics, of course displaying Nathan Williams’ San Diego roots with a truly American twang.

The 405’s William Tomer comments that “one who chooses to listen to the album in full…will be treated to one of the most down-to-earth takes on what it is like to be actively battling your demons, internal or otherwise.” I completely agree, as Williams’ blunt take on young adult life appear to isolate him, but at the same time his lyrics appear to be inviting the listener into a relatable world of emotional instability and upbeat self-deprecation.

Long story short, V is the perfect album to listen to whilst you try to rationalise all those mistakes you made on that night out – a brilliant album for the slightly hopeless.

Fran Tomlinson

obody can deny that we live in a city dominated by dance music. “Digi events” and DJ sets at Cosmic Ballroom blend into one and a monotonous house beat loops my mind. We all enter Newcastle as interesting individuals with varied music taste, prone to belting out ‘Teenage Dirtbag’ from the sticky floors of Throwback. Somehow, most of us will leave in a pair of Nikes having been to more Module events than the number of modules we’ve taken at uni. Before you can call me a hypocrite, I’ll do it myself. Yes, at the time witnessing Julio Bashmore drop ‘Au Seve’ was the greatest moment of my life. So was hearing Blonde’s ‘I Loved You More’ and Friend Within’s classic ‘The Renegade’ – all at Digital. See a pattern? In all these scenerios I was experiencing the exact same feeling, in the same place, in front of an elevated silhouette in the distance, behind some decks. It’s hardly a spectacle. To me, decent “dance” music should stimulate an electrifying physical response, so allow me to educate those who “bob” to house in some of the finest visual/ dance harmonies I’ve come across.

In recent music news, trip-hop duo Massive Attack announced a UK tour which has been a huge talking point as they rarely gig. Luckily for me, I had the opportunity to see Massive Attack perform at Manchester International Festival in 2013.

This wasn’t any ordinary show, as their soundtrack contemplated an unsettling film by documentarymaker Adam Curtis, which criticised “the rise of the managed state” with images of Vladimir Putin and Afghanistan. The event was held at a derelict train depot with the film projected on a box of four screens surrounding the audience. Let’s just say the view was more profound than a DJ interacting with the crowd through a pointed finger.

“To me, decent “dance” music should stimulate an electrifying physical response”

More recently, this summer has offered me vibrantly visual electronic music in the best scenarios. For fear of namedropping too much, I won’t go into detail about the fact I saw Bjork in July, but will instead dwell on her support act, Arca and Jesse Kanda. Producer Arca is a sight to behold himself with his leather outfits and platform shoes, but the man we’re supposed to be looking at is Jesse, his filmmaker partner in crime. Images of distorted human bodies and creepy babies playing the piano imbued the music with a whole new dimension.

Finally, the highlight of summer was FKA Twigs’ performance at FYF festival in LA. I don’t use the word “performance” lightly, because Twigs is a performer in every sense - a musician, a dancer, an artist. It could be said that Tahliah puts on a persona as she just snapped out of it to thank the audience at the end, but surely it’s better to work hard to craft a unique identity than get sucked into the generic house scene which is so prominent today. I can’t lie – I enjoy Twigs’ ‘Two Weeks’ and ‘9Ts’ Baby’ by Redlight equally. But the experience of being crammed between sweaty students when I “saw” the latter “perform”, was less than inspiring.

Modern house can’t be about the music because, well, it doesn’t really involve any. So please, give us something to look at.

Going to any gigs this week?

Dont forget to use the hashtag:

#thecourierdoesmusic

on Twitter and Instagram to get involved

34.gaming

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

Gaming Editors: Michael Hicks, Ollie Burton and James McCoull

Top Five Character Cameos

Josh Hardy comments

Memory card: Digimon World Jack Taylor steps back into the Digital World for this latest instalment of memory card

on his favourite cameos in video games.

5. Jason Voorhees (Dead Island) Not the most faithful of cameos but a cool one none the less, Jason Voorhees’ seasonal residence away from Camp Crystal lake can be found hidden away on Dead Island, taking the form of an isolated hut surrounded by a grim décor of skinned bodies. Complete with classic hockey mask and trusted machete, he has the ability to kill the player with a single strike and takes a fair amount of damage to defeat. A silver lining may be that a search of his humble abode reveals an equippable chainsaw, so it may well be worth the risk.

4. Elliot & E.T (Lego Jurassic World) The only cameo on this list to appear in a cut scene is also the briefest and can be found in Lego: Jurassic World. During the opening of a night scene there is an establishing shot of the moon upon which the infamous silhouette of Elliot and his alien accomplice flying on their bike can momentarily be seen, recreating the famous scene from the movie. This inclusion is a clear nod to Steven Spielberg, director of E.T. as well as the first two Jurassic Park films.

3. The Terminator (WWE 2K16) The upcoming instalment in the WWE video games series gives players the chance to play as the T-800 terminator from the original film AND the model from Terminator 2. The differences between the two being the entrances and attire - the original terminator comes complete with lightning and time-travelling plasma sphere (with added underpants) whilst the T2 version rides a motorbike out to the stage and is kitted out in leather biker garb and accompanying sunglasses.

2. Wayne and Garth (GTAIV) The first DLC entry sees Wayne and Garth from Wayne’s World appear in photo-form on the dashboard of a vehicle not only aesthetically referencing the mirthmobile, but the name “Rhapsody” also refers to the infamous Bohemian Rhapsody scene from the first film. The well-hidden photograph of the two best friends along with their catchphrase “schwing” written below can only be seen when using a sniper rifle scope and looking through the window to the inside of the car.

1. The Predator (Call of Duty: Ghosts) Call of Duty: Ghosts DLC map pack “Devastation” comes with the unique ability on the map ‘Ruins’ to earn a care package killstreak reward of playing as the predator. All abilities seen in the film are at the disposal of the player including invisibility, forearm mounted blades and the red trianglesighted shoulder cannon. But the best feature of all occurs after receiving too much damage from other players, as even the self-destruct ability from the first film has been incorporated with the explosion’s blast radius killing every other player on the map, making this one of the most useful as well as awesome cameos in all of gaming.

Image; Esparta Palma on Flickr

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s a slightly less popular competitor to Pokémon, Digimon received a lot of hatred over the years for ripping off the idea of having your own monster pet that can transform into a stronger, much more badass monster pet. What people fail to take into account is that, in many ways, Pokémon might be considered the original rip off of such a game. Dragon Quest V, made in 1992 for the Super Famicon, was one of the first games to include a monster-collecting concept, which later evolved into the Dragon Quest Monsters games. It’s therefore probably best to start looking at monster-raising as an offshoot feature of a game, and that they were (probably) never trying to copy another game outright.

The game started with a short, highly informal survey that decided which of the two starter Digimon you would receive. This would be followed by a short movie clip of the protagonist being called upon by Jijimon and subsequently being pulled into his virtual pet device. Personally, being sucked into a video game was all I wanted at that age, so it was a beautiful start to the game. After being in-

troduced to the inhabitants of File City, it is decided that you must to set off and find Digimon who have been led astray from the city, and beat them or persuade them into submission so they return to the city. It was a very simple premise.

“You might spend hours training your Digimon’s HP or Offense, but one too many craps will cause it to become just that” However, as much as it pains me to say, there were multiple problems with this game. Despite being a virtual pet game, you could do little to interact with your Digimon, other than praise, scold, feed and battle with it. You could also very easily ruin your chances of getting a powerful, Champion Digimon, like Greymon, by failing to keep your Digimon’s cleanliness high. This was maintained by getting it to go to the toilet in time to poop, but

if you didn’t get there in time, your Digimon may become an annoyingly weak green or yellow blob.

You might spend hours training your Digimon’s HP or Offense, but one too many craps will cause it to become just that. The combat started off simply, as you allowed your Digimon to automatically attack enemies, and as you trained its ‘Brains’ stat it would learn new combat strategies. This, however, made combat rather bland and unsatisfying until you trained your Digimon enough, which eventually also became stagnant.

Having said this, Digimon World was still a Playstation classic. It had the extremely punishing factor most older PS1 games had, and gave you hardly any help or direction. The game urges you to digivolve your Digimon and survive in an unforgiving and hostile environment, and is ultimately highly rewarding. Cryptic areas, bosses and multiple plotlines are prevalent in Digimon World, which actually reminds me of From’s Dark Souls and you often feel as though it’s just you and your trusty Digimon companion taking on the entire world.

What I’m Playing: Banished Stephen Herring dives into the challenge of managing a tribe of exiles

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ntil coming across this game, I’ve been playing a lot of Cities: Skylines, which is, I admit, a pretty fun game. One of my main gripes with it though is that it’s easy. It’s not as complex a game as Sim City 4, and it can become samey quickly. Even my most horrendous looking cities with the most terribly optimized road systems and the most poorly mismanaged economies don’t do too badly, and the game suffers because of this.

So, in an attempt to fill the city-builder sized hole in my life, I picked up Banished. It is, for all intents and purposes, a city-builder, however, the scale of the game differs greatly. Where most will have you playing for hours and the end product being a bustling metropolis, Banished has had me fail at least three or four times and even in my most recent attempt, my small settlement has stayed just that; a small settlement. The game hides nothing from you, and all buildings appear to be unlocked from the outset.

The only limitations are the resources available to you, and how you are going to come by them. My underlying fear from the outset was that this approach could lead the game to stagnate very quickly once the initial difficulty of actually getting your settlement up and running had passed. I’ve very quickly learned that this is far from the case, and this difficulty stays constantly difficult throughout and in fact serves to heighten the tension as the game goes on, as it becomes increasingly easier and easier to become overconfident and start yourself on a downward spiral. Yes, I know. I mentioned the

word ‘tension’ in an article about a city-builder. If that alone doesn’t tell you this game is something a little different and worth picking up, I don’t know what will.

“It becomes increasingly easier and easier to become overconfident and start yourself on a downward spiral ”

The game is a challenge. Not an easy one, either, even on the equivalent of a ‘normal’ difficulty. Despite this though, I can’t see myself playing it for too much longer. It’s not that it’s boring, because it isn’t. It’s not because it’s plateauing and because my village is now self-sufficient, because I can’t see that being an issue for anybody. In fact, I think that the real reason is because there is no end in sight.

There’s no end state, and whilst this can sometimes be a good thing, I don’t think it is here. What’s the point in overcoming challenge after challenge if there’s not even a hint that my village will grow into something more than just that?

That being said, it’s well worth the price, and I’ve yet to find anything wrong in terms of mechanics with the game. It’s a fun little challenge, but I don’t believe it’s anything more than that.

Image; Far Cry Primal

Jamie Cameron

S

climbs the food chain

ay goodbye to bombarding elephants with a grenade launcher a la Far Cry 4, because Ubisoft’s latest entry to the series sees you fighting tooth and claw for your survival with mammoths, dire-wolves, and sabre-tooth tigers in the Stone Age. Their hunting ground is the fertile and deadly open-world valley of Oros, where our protagonist Takkar must unite with his tribe to compete for scarce food and resources. Armed with rough tools such as bows, spears, and axes built from stone and bone, the player engages in a new crafting system in a struggle for life the Narrative Director calls “going from being the hunted to the hunter”. A greater emphasis on melee combat should have interesting interaction with a first person perspective. The dynamic fire engine returns with next-gen graphics and particle effects a-plenty, useful for torching the rival tribes seeking blood and plunder, which may ignite hopes of base building and defence. At night, the dangers of Oros twist across the land’s deserts, grassland, and forests, perhaps reflecting a sweeping change of tone into something less explosive but more gritty, brutal, and primal.

The Courier

gaming.35

Monday 19 October 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming

a land down Trope spotlight: Health Bars From UNDER Hemmy Ogilvie Charlotte Huggins explores the origins of one of the most controversial means of tracking damage in gaming history

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ave you ever had a paper cut and wondered how many more it would take to kill you? Well if you were a video game character you wouldn’t have to! Simply see how much damage you took from that cut and then divide your total health by that number and you would get the total number of cuts it would take to take you back to your respawn point.

Luckily for us however, we don’t have to worry about our inevitable doom whenever we damage our bodies slightly. Our beloved health bar has been used in gaming for decades but it wasn’t always so. In the early days of video games, players would have to depend on lives instead of health, once you lost all your lives it was game over (although this system is still used today, it was far more common in the past). It wasn’t until 1985 with the release of Dragon Buster that brought health bars to life.

“Nowadays game designers have moved on from simple bars and have implemented lots of creative ways to show health to the player”

Nowadays game designers have moved on from simple bars and have implemented lots of creative ways to show health to the player. Lots of modern shooters, such as Call of Duty, have opted for the blood splat on screen method to show that the character is hurt and must get to cover to regenerate vitality. Other shooters like Halo have a regenerative shield along with a health bar, the bar regenerating over time but the shield will. Different Halo games have variants on this but the idea stays the same.

delves into the wacky and wonderful world of Undertale

Some fighting games such as Dragon Ball Z: Budokai 3 have a similar mechanic whereby a second health bar is overlaid on top of the first one, effectively giving the player multiple lives. This not only extends the gameplay but allows each attack to take out more of each player’s health, indicating their relative power.

Sometimes game designers use the health bar as an integral part of the story. Once such example is the synchronization bar in Assassin’s Creed, if the assassin takes “damage” it will desynchronize the player (Desmond) from the animus and the assassin that the player is controlling. The 3rd person game survival horror game Dead Space had a similar feature with the Resource Integration Gear (RIG), a suit the protagonist wore with an onboard health indicator. Other designers use health to directly impact the mechanics of the game. Games such as World of Warcraft often have raid bosses that change moves, patterns and tactics when their health is depleted, and games such as Amnesia have the sanity system where the less sane you are the harder (and scarier) the game becomes.

So I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I would want a constant reminder of how much life I have and have it tick away every time I have cider or artery-clogging fast food. But hey, the warlock Gul’dan in Hearthstone uses his own life as a resource to gain a card advantage. So maybe some risks are worth taking.

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Image; Shawn on Flickr

Image; Barron Webster on Flickr

ere are just a few things, totally out of context, that Toby Fox’s Undertale has to offer: - Pun-loving, spaghetti-making skeletons - Armoured dogs - A fish warrior and a dinosaur scientist who love anime - A singing, dancing, diva killer robot If those alone intrigue you, it’s time to load up Steam and fork out for the game. Otherwise, let’s get into more detail.

In Undertale, the world is split into two - the overworld of humans, and the underworld of monsters. After a long war, humans pushed the monsters underground and sealed them behind a magic barrier. Monsters haven’t seen the surface since.

The game opens with you, a human child, falling through the barrier. You wake on a patch of golden flowers in the Ruins of the Underground.

Soon, you meet a new friend! Flowey, the talking flower, who is here to help you out! He kindly explains how things work in the Underground you need to gather LV (LOVE, of course!) through little white “friendliness pellets”.

Then he tries to murder you in cold blood, leaving you with the warning that this world is “Kill or be killed”.

Thankfully, you’re rescued just in time by the guardian of the Ruins. From then on, you have to journey through the Underworld, break through the barrier with the power of your SOUL, and return home.

“Or, you know, you can stab them all to death.

Your choice!

But this will have Imogen Scott-­Chambers gets to grips with the latest Metal Gear game, but is it the greatest? consequences.” hen I first picked up my controller to is an open world action-adventure stealth game. alike who seek a challenge that they themselves

Review: Metal Gear Solid v: The Phantom Pain

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play the latest Metal Gear Solid game; I had some reservations, and for anyone experiencing the same ambivalence, I am here to settle your concerns. I had been drastically disappointed after playing Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes for multiple reasons, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that playing MGSV: The Phantom Pain is an engrossing and gratifying experience which takes the idea of open world gameplay to new heights.

The Phantom Pain

Image; Emma Jordan on Flickr

Set in 1984, the player is thrust into the aftermath of the events of Ground Zeroes as Big Boss, now adopting a code name of Punished Venom Snake, after the destruction of Militaires Sans Frontiéres (MSF). He must lead a new mercenary group called the Diamond Dogs (who doesn’t love a good David Bowie reference?) to battle the rival group Cipher led by Skullface. The journey you take to rebuild your mercenary group will push you to the edge of your seat; The Phantom Pain is similar to a book that you can’t put down, you just have to play on.

The stealth aspect is fantastic because it is more forgiving than in other games. Within the game you have Reflex Time in which the game automatically slows time down when you get spotted, allowing for snap decision making, which can lead to some visually impressive movie-like moments.

As with other games in the chronology, the gameplay encourages the player to use non-lethal methods and entice mercenaries to join the Diamond Dogs. Like Peace Walker, The Phantom Pain provides a place for your mercenary group to grow, research and develop -this is called Mother Base, thus, the downside of trigger-happy killing leads to lost opportunities to build a successful group at Mother Base, a refreshing addition to the series.

The best part of this latest instalment is its size: the map is massive and it’s open world in the truest sense of the word. The game’s various mechanics and connected systems allow for a large degree of player freedom, which at first is almost overwhelming. However, this is always great for adventurous gamers and newcomers

can orchestrate without being forced into a set path of missions. In comparison with the relatively straightforward of the previous Metal Gear games, the non-linear feel of The Phantom Pain equates to more player power, which makes for a dramatic and dynamic playing experience.

“The journey you take to rebuild your mercenary group will push you to the edge of your seat; The Phantom Pain is similar to a book you can’t put down.”

My only qualms with the game would have to be the lack of a character development - there is a strange absence of dialogue in comparison with past Metal Gear games; one of the only female characters, aptly named “Quiet”, spends most of her time sighing or humming. For die-hard Metal Gear Solid fans this may be disappointing, thinking of the past in which candid conversations and memorable boss battles provided more character depth. Nevertheless, these exclusions do not detract from the game’s enjoyment: the cinematography, gameplay, graphics (look out for the life-like weather) and style are simply breathtaking and will satisfy every type of gamer.

Image; Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

The battle system is engaging, combining more traditional turn-based RPG elements with bullet hell segments, where you have to dodge projectiles (“friendliness pellets”). This introduces a real element of skill often lacking in traditional RPG battles. Each of the (adorable, hilarious, occasionally horrifying) enemies have unique styles of attack you need to adapt to if you want to survive.

But the real selling point is that you can complete Undertale without killing a single monster.

Instead, you can win battles using ACTs - hugging them, singing with them - and each monster needs to be approached differently.

Or, you know, you can stab them all to death.

Your choice! But this will have consequences.

The way you act towards the enemies in the game will affect not just the ending you get, but the type of game you play. A hyperviolent player may find towns evacuated before they get there, puzzles pre-solved in the rush to escape your reign of terror... meanwhile, a peaceful player will find themselves going on dates, making friends and eating terrible spaghetti. It really is up to you.

If you want to see all the secrets of Undertale, you’ll want to play it more than once. And there’s a lot of secrets to find, right down to the code.

Having to play it more than once to get the full experience may annoy some, and the battle system may be difficult to control using just a keyboard.

The game does its best to mitigate this - letting you skip cutscenes you’ve seen before, the ability to skip battles you’re really struggling with, and frequent save points.

Overall though, the combination of a challenging battle system, memorable characters, great dialogue and the real impact of your choices, make Undertale a great little gem to add to your Steam library.

Image; Undertale

36.science&technology

Monday 19 October 2015

The Courier

Science Editors: Louise Bingham, Iqra Choudhry & Anna Jastrzembska

The truth is out there

Astronomical discovery inspires former editor Jack Marley to ask more down-­to-­Earth questions

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reshers’ week arrives every year with stunning regularity. Penned into the last seven days of September, to those of us returning to Newcastle this week is as familiar as the university itself. But to the uninitiated, freshers’ week still unravels like a Pandora’s Box of new experiences.

In the midst of it all, while first-night-out-inNewcastle memories were being made (and likely forgotten), less bleary eyes were trained skyward.

Nasa broke the news that Mars, encased in rust and capped in ice, our closest interstellar neighbour and home to the little green men of our imaginations; holds water.

“It wasn’t a team of government scientists, generously funded and working with the best equipment money could buy that made the discovery. It was a student”

We’ve known for a while that the contours which permanently scar the planet are likely remnants of an aquatic Martian world that has long since vanished. However, dark lines which recede and reappear seasonally on the planet’s surface, like furrows in a brow, may be our best evidence yet that liquid water remains. It may well be incapable of supporting life and scientists are baffled as to the source of it but regardless; the idea of water tumbling down red gullies and slopes has reinvigorated the debate around life on other planets like a rainstorm in the

desert.

Understandably, something like this isn’t easily buried in the blur of 24 hour news. But it shared a news cycle with a mass shooting on an American college campus, which provided a sobering and poignant counterbalance. Because it wasn’t a team of government scientists, generously funded and working with the best equipment money could buy that made the discovery. It was a student.

A 20 year old at the University of Arizona, Lujendra Ojha scanned the monochrome horizon of Mars from photographs of its surface in 2010. He noted details where others had seen only mundanity, like the dark streaks spilling down Martian hills- fresh brushstrokes on an old painting.

Five years on and Lujendra’s casual observations have turned out to be revelatory. But while the world celebrates the fruits of his curiosity, it also bears the pain of families who will never see their loved ones realise their full potential. Who knows what the ten minds taken from the University of Oregon could have told us of the universe, and our place in it?

In a week where there was so much to be hopeful for, there was much to mourn. As Carl Sagan once put it: “We, who cannot even put our own planetary home in order, riven with rivalries and hatreds; are we to venture out into space?”

New students could be forgiven for tying their attention pretty tightly to things closer to home for the time being.

University is after all a time of unprecedented opportunity in your young life, and so to you incoming freshers, I urge you to embrace the same tired clichés you should have by now grown accustomed to. Dream big! Follow your dreams! Reach for the stars!

But I’d like to add some more. Take care of yourselves, and each other.

Have confidence in your ability to do great things and never lose sight of how precious life is,

whether it’s on this planet or another. The next three years stretch out before you like an alien landscape and who knows what you might find?

So you think you can science?

Sakura Brandi explains why it won’t take a rocket scientist to contribute to meaningful research.

Conversely, James Fryett UHDVRQV WKDW VFLHQWL¿F LQYHVWLJDWLRQ LV SHUKDSV EHVW OHIW WR WKH SURV

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For

itizen science projects are based upon the idea that non-scientists (aka most of the population) can still help out with scientific research in a meaningful way. I think that as long as they are well planned out research designs, made to have a positive impact in the current research fields, they are a great idea.

It is true that research can sometimes involve a lot of number crunching, repetitive tests and observational studies that most of the educated population can do; so leaving these tasks to volunteers may leave more time for scientists to focus on more arduous tasks.

“A math teacher is not a scientist per se, but is more than capable to do basic statistical analysis, or even count the number of birds that fly over their house on a Sunday morning” One of the concerns may involve the validity of the data that they analyse or collect for the project. Can we trust data or analysis from people who are not scientists themselves and may not understand the implication of their actions? First of all the definition of “nonscientist” may need to be established more

clearly. A math teacher is not a scientist per se, but is more than capable to do basic statistical analysis, or even count the number of birds that fly over their house on a Sunday morning.

“Concerns may involve the validity of the data that they analyse for the project. Can we trust data from people who are not scientists?”

It is also important to state that citizen science projects can sometimes be as simple as having people do surveys, tests and online games to gather data about nutrition, behaviour etc.- a practice that has long been used in scientific research. In the case of direct data collection and transcribing information onto computers, we can only hope that the researchers have trained the people participating accordingly, depending on how important the information is.

Citizen science projects should be taken seriously. They are a great way to introduce awareness and scientific curiosity to the general population while making the life of scientists easier and research more stream lined.

It is an undeniable fact that the more data is accumulated and analysed, the more validity can be given to the results (if systematic errors and bias are considered properly). In an age where an increasing amount of people are connected by the internet and almost anything can be learnt through it, it would be arrogant and conceited for a scientist to assume that all non-scientists are unable to do great science and contribute to our knowledge as a whole.

Against O

ver the past few years there has been a massive increase in the number of citizen science projects like The Big Sea Survey (even the BBC had a go with BBC Lab UK).

These projects often set out with two main aims: to create good quality, high impact research and to educate and excite the public. But it’s not clear how much of this they actually achieve.

“Ultimately, science should be about quality, not quantity.

This isn’t always the case with citizen science projects” One of the first things every scientist learns about research is that it should be as accurate and reliable as possible. Citizen science projects are neither. When using so many volunteers with little or no formal scientific training it is impossible to know if the data they are producing are correct. This may be fairly harmless when doing something easy like counting fish, but it becomes almost pointless when doing anything more complicated as volunteers are likely to make mistakes. On the other hand, professional scientists are trained to be accurate and reliable, making the data they generate far more trustworthy than anything done by citizen scientists. This may not produce as much data as citizen science does, but the data produced is far more valuable.

Not only do citizen science projects produce unreliable data; they do not offer many educational benefits either. The training given to volunteers is often very basic and for many projects it simply involves teaching people how to tell the difference between a few species. This does not seem especially educational to me, especially when this type of information can now be readily found by anyone online. If the projects were truly educational, not only would they teach citizen scientists how to collect data but they would give them a true appreciation of the scientific methods behind the data and teach them exactly what the data means in the context of the project. By not doing this, some projects are missing a real educational opportunity.

“Many citizen science projects sacrifice the reliability of their data to try and collect lots of it, while engaging relatively few people” Ultimately, science should be about quality, not quantity. This isn’t always the case with citizen science projects. Many of them sacrifice the reliability of their data to try and collect lots of it, while engaging relatively few people. There must be a way of getting more people excited about science without affecting the quality of the science performed. Until this is found, science should just be left to those who do it best – the professionals..

The Courier

Monday 19 October 2015

technology&science.37 thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science

Follow the law of the lab

Amanda Yap gives you a helping hand to make sure you’re not being that guy

DO

1. Arrive on time.

Punctuality is the key here. Tardiness does not bode well with anybody, imagine that one person who enters late and begins questioning the surrounding tables on the tasks for the day because he or she is absolutely clueless on what to do. Not a great start for anybody, is it?

I

heaved a sigh of relief whenever I remember that my high school days of sweating over unbalanced chemical equations and my painstaking attempts to understand the Periodic Table are well and truly behind me. It was an intervention from above when I passed my Chemistry graduating exam with flying colours. Anyway, I am digging into my meagre memory bank for general lab etiquette that will be highly appreciated by your peers and beneficial to you as well.

2. Pay attention to your general surroundings Accidents are bound to happen when there are people moving around in a lab stocked with equipment, so exercise caution to pre-empt any major disaster from occurring and look out for yourself and others. Don’t be selfish and spread the love!

DON’T

1. Food and drinks-not allowed!

We can only speculate about the hidden mysteries in those deep lab coat pockets- stationery, crumpled up Kleenex, spare change, lo and behold, a Mars Bar! Nobody would appreciate the chomping sounds of somebody enjoying that sweet treat, much less the presence of uninvited guests savouring the residue that somebody forgot to clean up. Consideration, people!

2. Leave behind a messy work area For the love of God, clean up the crap in the sink. Arrange everything back to its original positions; empty away all contents from the containers after use and lastly, dry your work area! There is no domestic helper to clean up after you, you kindergartener.

3. Wash, wash, wash your hands This may seem rather redundant, even useless. However, this logic applies when you finish your business in the washroom too, you will wash or even scrub your hands if necessary. Your hands come into contact with foreign particles in the lab, and does a million other tasks including eating so unless you want to race to the washroom every few minutes, it’s better to make the effort to WASH! Need I elaborate more?

3. Be a freeloader Ever worked with that detestable slacker who occupies the back seat during every assignment or palms it off to an unsuspecting lab partner, before finally, conveniently claiming the credit when the job is done? The Chinese would describe them as having ‘very thick skin’ because they are almost never apologetic about it at all!

If this is the first time you are hearing of such a person, better do some self-assessment pronto, because that sickening freeloader could be you!

GM in the EU A

tions to opt-out of the production of GMOs has the potential to further hit the biotechnology industry, especially after Monsanto – a world leading manufacturer of GM crops and herbicides – announced it would be slashing 2600 jobs worldwide in order to keep the company afloat, needing to reduce spending by an extra $100 million.

Not only that, but the so-called European ‘Green Wave’ is expected to affect proposed plans to lift bans on GMO use by governments in many African and Asian countries, which would dramatically slow down the development of the biotechnology industry in many non-EU countries.

“But what about the UK? If the UK wanted to grow GM crops, their approval must first go through the European food safety authority (EFSA)” In regards to the use of Biotechnology in Europe, DEFRA (the department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs) has previously stated that “GM technology could deliver benefits providing it is used safely and responsibly”; indicating that the mood in Europe towards GM crops is not completely against their development. They also commented that they “support farmers having access to developments in new technology and being able to choose whether or not to adopt them”.

The world population is expanding exponentially and every mouth will need feeding, so the question remains: is GM the way forward?

Anna Jastrzembska explains why it’s okay to have another slice. Or two.

D

on’t throw rocks at me, but having spent my summer on technology detox I have never heard the words “The Great British Bake Off.” That’s why it came as a shock to me when one Wednesday two friends of mine left a pub around nine after drinking barely a pint and before a mandatory dessert. With all due respect, choosing to watch people bake on TV over enjoying the melting sensation of still warm chocolate in your mouth seems to me irrational at best. Because even though I might not understand the hype around “The Great British Bake Off,” I perfectly get the joy of eating cake and baking in general.

Baking is literally what happiness is made of.

With the right set of mind, it helps release all four main “happy hormones”: endorphins, serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin. Dopamine is released when you strive towards a goal, so that you can experience the pleasure of reward. Baking a perfect (or at least edible) pumpkin pie totally counts as a goal. As about endorphins and serotonin, scientists constantly widen the range of foods that release them. It started off as chocolate, then it was carbohydrates, now they argue that eating any food can release at least one happy hormone, as long as you enjoy it. And who doesn’t enjoy cake?

The effects of endorphins and serotonin on our organism are amazing, too. Endorphins relieve pain and boost pleasure, while serotonin, apart from improving our mood, also makes us more friendly and sociable. The last happy hormoneoxytocin- is a bit more tricky, but I believe that the secret is that sharing is caring. Oxytocin is a hormone of love and baking with your friends or for the loved ones surely must trigger it somehow.

“Baking is literally what happiness is made of. With the right set of mind, it helps release all four main “happy hormones”: endorphins, serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin”

Anthony McGarry investigates the wider im-­ plications on food security and other industries

startling backlash to the Genetically Modified Organism (GMO) and biotechnology industry is gaining momentum across Europe.

Recently, nineteen European Union (EU) member states applied to keep genetically modified crops either partially or totally out of their regions, with Luxemburg, Denmark, Slovenia and Malta making last minute applications to opt out from the use of genetically modified crops all together.

As a result of this legislation, EU member countries will have the right to ban development of any GMO they choose, independent to whether the product has been declared as safe by European health commissions.

However, this opt out only restricts growing GMOs in those European countries; the importing of 58 specific GM crops will still be allowed to continue, as they are still widely used for food and feedstock purposes.

But what about the UK? If the UK wanted to grow GM crops, their approval must first go through the European food safety authority (EFSA), in which a GMO panel assesses the risk of the product and its development to the environment as well as human/animal wellbeing. However, that does not mean it would be used throughout the whole UK. The crop would then have the opportunity to be prohibited by the UK’s member states, so Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland would have their own say on whether it could be grown on their land. This second layer of confirmation is to take into account the socio-economic impact of developing a crop in different areas.

As a result, the UK is seeking a ban on growth in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, leaving England the sole UK state to allow GM crop cultivation.

The decision by these nineteen European na-

Science of happiness

Word of the Week: HANGRY Have you ever had unexplained aggressive behaviour towards someone while hungry?

The chances are you were hangry. Hangry is the amalgamation of the words hungry and angry, which perfectly describes the angry mood you get in when you haven’t eaten, and you are not pleased about it.

As the time since your last meal grows, the body’s blood glucose level begins a sharp descent, therefore, your blood stream contains less nutrients. When this drops low enough, your brain sees it as urgent as the brain relies mainly on glucose to function. This throws the brain straight back into our beautiful caveman state, in which we will get angry at anything and anyone if they are in the way of our food. A glucose deficiency can lead to low concentration and lack of social awareness in the majority of people which, combined with our primal instinct to desperately find anything to consume and to destroy anything in that stands in the way of fuel, leads to a hangrily unreasonable person. So if you are currently dealing with unexplained anger and can’t remember your last meal, it’s probably hanger.

Ciara Ritson-Courtney

To put a cherry on top, baking is considered a therapeutic activity that helps people struggling with mental problems. The combination of focus, creative input and physical movement, often with a social factor, is meant to be especially good for depressed people. Baking helps restore the feeling of control, that is often lost in depression. It’s a great motivation to get out of bed- follow the recipe and you end up with a sweet reward. Creating something that is associated with goodness, love, nurture and beauty lifts feelings of helplessness and despair. The happiness of cake is recognized to this point, that Depressed Cake Shops started opening around the world (the closest one in Glasgow). The charity project raises awareness of mental illness and therapeutic qualities of baking through selling grey cakes.

So if you are upset that “The Great British Bake Off ” is over, maybe it’s the time to wake your inner baker and have a house baking night?

The Courier

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The Courier

!"##$%&'()%*+,-.&/01+,-&0&230'* Whilst you were topping up your tan on a bright white beach overlooking the Mediterranean Sea, the world of sport was also hotting up. Here’s a round up of all the sporting action you might have missed this summer.

:&1*4;$20&&(.+// The Women’s World Cup in Canada was certainly the surprise of the summer. Previous tournaments in the women’s game haven’t had significant coverage, but impressive performances saw national TV audiences regularly top 1.5 million.

Throughout the competition, the world-class sides of Germany, Japan and the USA were typically domi-

nant; however individual teams were overshadowed by the overall quality of football and vibrant atmosphere.

Although international stars Marta and Abby Wombach didn’t perform in the tournament, Carli Lloyd and Canadian Kadeisha Buchanan more than earned their respective awards.

Moreover, the British public witnessed an uncharacteristically valiant

England side that put in performances worthy of their best ever finish in the World Cup. Led by Mark Sampson, the Lionesses merited nothing less than their 3rd position, finally breaking the Germany voodoo in the bronze-medal match. The USA’s third tournament victory has been long overdue and was ultimately well-deserved.

James Sproston

7(8/*(69$ A sport shrouded in scandal, Athletics was rocked by accusations of pervasive doping before the 2015 World Championships. The picture appears no clearer now, but the Beijing games displayed the hero/villain culture of modern day athletics.

The ever-anticipated Bolt vWs Gatlin rivalry proved the highlight, with Bolt edging both sprint events over the American who has served 2 doping violation bans. The Jamaican was then

famously floored by an out-of-control segway, but there’s no evidence to link Gatlin to the accident.

Jessica Ennis-Hill returned after the birth of her first child to win her first World Heptathlon gold since 2009, and Mo Farah took home the 5000 and 10000m titles in the midst of doping allegations against his coach, Alberto Salazar.

England’s football girls returned from Canada with a medal Image: IQRemix at Flickr

Gabriel Pennington

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World Athletics made a swift return to the Birds Nest in Beijing Image: Filip Bossuyt at Flickr

Serena Williams made history winning the ‘Serena Slam’ Image: Katherine Shann at Flickr

Reigning champions Australia fought off a late comeback from arch-rivals New Zealand to win their third consecutive world title in front of a home crowd.

Aussie shooter Caitlin Bassett’s goal in the final minute of the game sealed the Diamond’s 11th World Cup with a 58-55 advantage.

However, in a tournament where Trans-Tasman dominance has seen only one other team win the Cup in its 52-year history, the progress from nations such as England, Jamaica and

South Africa, who took 3rd, 4th and 5th positions respectively, could signal a serious challenge against the two powerhouses of the game in the not-sodistant future.

!Anna Woodberry

0&'1,/+234* In a season dominated by debates over tyres and engines, an impervious Lewis Hamilton has mounted an incredible 302 points. After two consecutive wins, his Mercedes team now have their second constructor’s championship in a row.

Meanwhile team-mate Rosberg has slipped to third in the championship following a DNF in Sochi, resulting in

Vettel taking second in the race and the standings.

Also in Sochi, the two Finns Raikkonen and Bottas were both involved in a last lap incident, leaving the former with a 30-second penalty, putting him in 8th place. While the latter crashed out, meaning the impressive Perez grabbed 3rd place.

Tom Shrimplin

Coach Tracey Neville led England’s netball girls to bronze Image: Naparazzi at Flickr

Lewis Hamilton recently surpassed Senna’s 41 race wins Image: Franziska at Flickr

5*446$ The 2015 Championships proved a top test for the world’s greatest players.

Favourites Novak Djokovic and Serena Williams took the men’s and women’s title, but faced fierce opposition throughout.

The Serbian endured a marathon 4th round encounter with Kevin Anderson, and out-muscled Roger Federer in a repeat of the 2014 final.

Williams’ shot at the title seemed in doubt after a lack-lustre performance against Heather Watson, but won the ‘Serena-Slam’ by claiming her 4th major in succession.

Home favourite Andy Murray cruised through the first week of matches before finally being undone in the semi finals by the classy Federer.

Gabriel Pennington

The Courier

Monday 19 October 2015

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VLW\ DQG &ROOHJH 6SRUWV VHDVRQ DV 1HZFDVWOH 8QLYHUVLW\ DLP WR EHWWHU ODVW \HDUÂśV WK SODFH Âż QLVK As another academic year gets underway, so does another year of BUCS fixtures. For those unfamiliar with BUCS, your guide to British University and College Sport is all here.

Newcastle has over 45 sports clubs competing in the BUCS leagues, and in general they all play on a Wednesday afternoon (why else do you all get lectures off, its certainly not for working) in regional leagues. Last year Newcastle University came 11th in Britain in terms of BUCS points and will this year be pushing to obtain a top ten place within the elite of the countryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s student sportsmen and women.

that team graduate and so last year was about building upon almost a completely new team. Although the season didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go quite as we had planned, things are looking promising for the year ahead.â&#x20AC;?

On the income of new members, Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Donnell told us â&#x20AC;&#x153;we had a very good influx of freshers this year which has strengthened the team significantly.

Serious competition for places on the 1st team has resulted in a vast improvement in the quality and intensity of hockey in both training and matches.â&#x20AC;?

Concerning the opening result of the season, the hockey captain seems

â&#x20AC;&#x153;The firsts have outlined an aim to finish in the top three of the BUCS league and reach the cup finals.â&#x20AC;?

We spoke to a few of this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clubs to outline their ambitions and how theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got on so far, including the president of the Rugby Club George Adams, who recently helped Newcastle regain the Clash of the Titans title against their Northumbrian Rivals. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The firsts have outlined an aim to finish in the top three of the BUCS league and reach the cup finalsâ&#x20AC;?, the inside centre told The Courier. Freshers are always a big part of the BUCS teams, as the president made clear: â&#x20AC;&#x153;The freshers have settled in really well and some are already moving their way through the teams.â&#x20AC;?

After their 13-10 victory at Kingston Park at the beginning of October, Adamson knows the importance of tactics. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our set pieces have been immense at

very optimistic, â&#x20AC;&#x153;after a 7-0 win over Durham in our first BUCS game of the year, morale is high and the season ahead looks promising.â&#x20AC;? The hockey ladies will be hoping to extend their winning start to the season when they travel to Sheffield Hallam this Wednesday.

Tasha Robson, President of the Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rugby Club, was very excited for the year ahead. Speaking to The Courier, Robson explained, â&#x20AC;&#x153;last year was a mixed bag. We finished above relegation but managed to score big points against Birmingham which was a highlight of the season. Looking to this season, we are playing against a lot of tough opposition however as always our side has loads of potential which was shown in the second half against The Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rugby 1st team pose before their first game Photography: Natalie Hamer

the start of this season and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve won 80% plus of our own set piece balls which is always positive. Improving our game management is a big thing for us as playing in the right areas will bring us points. Line speed in defence is also huge, pressure on opposition

â&#x20AC;&#x153;morale is high and the season looks promisingâ&#x20AC;? makes our life easier as they will make mistakes.â&#x20AC;?

Meanwhile, club captain of womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hockey Kirby Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Donnell said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Last season was relatively disappointing given that the previous year had seen us narrowly miss out on promotion to the BUCS premier. We had a lot of

Netballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2nd team worked hard to reach the cup final Photography by Phil Haswell

Loughborough (15-56 loss). We are definitely feeling positive about the season ahead.â&#x20AC;? As with all the BUCS teams, Robson had admiration for the fresh crop of sporting recruits at her disposal, telling us, â&#x20AC;&#x153;we are very impressed with the freshers. The seven who were in the squad this week did themselves proud, held their own against a big Loughborough side and really made an impact when they came off the bench. We had over 40 freshers sign up to the club so our 2nd team is also looking strong.â&#x20AC;?

There was also praise for the high status of the game that the Rugby World Cup has brought to Britain, the Newcastle captain feeling, â&#x20AC;&#x153;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s safe to say the Rugby World Cup has had a massive impact on introducing more people, especially women, to the game.â&#x20AC;?

Newcastleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s female basketballers with the BUCS Trophy Photography by NUWBC

The Tennis girls went the entire 2014/15 BUCS season unbeaten Photography by Phil Haswell

42.sportbucs&intramural Gus’s Club of the Week

“I believe we have a bright year ahead of us”

Artesi, and well executed attacks by Captain Grogan, the match seemed to finally turn, and the Newcastle sabreurs pulled out a comfortable lead, with the final score at 45-24.

This left our épée team with a task: not to lose more than 9 hits or lose the match. A level head was needed by the team, and with Dixon’s wide stanced gait, Bannon’s neat footwork, and Waleed Aldadah’s hair-trigger left hand, our fencers pulled through, clinching an épée-ic win, to bring team Newcastle’s winning score to 124-110.

With many of the previous Men’s 1st team having left Newcastle this year, the future of the Men’s firsts is certainly unpredictable. However, with the fencing finesse seen today, combined with the continued support of the Fencing club and its expert coaches, I believe we have a bright year ahead of us.

Report by Matthew Grogan

The Courier

Introduction to Intramural If you haven’t heard of Intra Mural sport, where have you been? Sports Editor Calum Wilson explains why you and your mates should sign up to the best sporty banter on campus What is Intra Mural?

In a new feature for the Courier this year, our Athletic Union Officer Angus Taylor chooses his Club of the Week, whether it be for a stand out performance or to increase awareness.

Making its literary debut, this weeks Club of the Week is the fencing club after their emphatic start to the year.

Both the men’s and women’s teams enjoyed comfortable wins over their opponents from the University of St Andrews on Wednesday 7th at the Newcastle Fencing Centre. The men’s team ran out 124-110 winners against their Scottish counterparts in their match, not only giving them their first three points of the year but also sending them momentarily top of the Premier North division, before losing to league leaders York last Wednesday.

Meanwhile, the women made even lighter work of their cross-border match up, putting St Andrews to the sword 131-110. The women went on to beat Nottingham 114-101 to maintain their powerful start.

This incredible start to the season could provide a springboard from which both the men and women can build a successful year. Last year the men finished second in their Premier Division, losing the title in the deciding game, while the women will be looking to improve on a 5th place finish after this running start.

Mens captain Matthew Grogan gave us this insight to the St Andrews win.

Initially, thing’s didn’t go to plan. The first weapon was foil. We knew this wasn’t our best weapon, but with strong and determined efforts by ex-GB fencer Andrew Dixon, and impressive 1st team debut performances by Matthew Bannon and Navneet Singh Kandhari, the team managed to lose by only ten hits.

Next was sabre. A weapon renown for its fast, furious footwork, matched by an even faster hand. Early on the match was close, with both sides “leap-frogging” each other to take the lead, but then our Newcastle team began to get into our stride. Inspired by a sublime performance from newcomer Ginn

Monday 19 October 2015

Intra Mural is sport organised and competed between the lovely students of Newcastle University. Teams are generally made up of different social groups, often degree course friends, flatmates or simply your drinking buddies. Like a typical Tiger Wednesday these groups lock horns, but rather than fighting to be first to the bar they are fighting to be top of the league.

Absolutely anybody can play Intra Mural sport, each week there are over 200 fixtures and 2500 students taking part in 12 different sports. The Intra Mural set up is perfect for those who enjoy a friendly yet competitive style of play and is a great way to make friends and become the BNOC you’ve always wanted to be.

What sports are on offer?

Whether you’re a football nut, rugby buff or a squash specialist, there’s a good chance we can find an Intra Mural sport to suit you. If you fancy yourself as the next Lionel Messi, but the first team selectors clearly don’t recognise talent

when they see it, then pull together 10 other teammates to watch you weave your magic in 11 a side football. If your fitness isn’t quite up to scratch then you can always try the shorter form; 7’s, 5’s, ladies 5’s or futsal. Other indoor sports include netball, 3v3 basketball, squash and 6 a side cricket. There’s a hotly fought rugby union league that compete every Saturday, or the slightly softer version, touch rugby, is played on a Friday night.

What’s with all the funny names?

Everybody’s favourite part of Intra Mural season is sifting through the fantastically unique and often very witty team names. Axe Wielding Baboons beating Panthers FC is not the title of David Attenborough’s next wildlife documentary, rather a potential reality from this year’s Saturday league for 11 a side football. Where else would you be able to witness Charlie’s Angels doing battle with Tooth fairies? And let’s face it, we’d all like to see Jesmond Tutu downing Rodallega bombs.

Rugby is one of twelve different sports included in Intra Mural Image: Dennis Murphy

How do I get involved?

Registration is now open for this year’s Intra Mural season. Absolutely anybody can get themselves involved with Intra Mural sport. If you know someone who already has a team registered then simply ask them if you can join in and play.

Whilst there are many sports available, it should be noted that Intra Mural

Over 2500 students already take part in Intra Mural sport Image: Dennis Murphy

BUCS Results Table 14th October Badminton Men’s 1st 1 -­ 7 Leeds 1st Men’s 2nd 7 -­ 1 Teeside 1st Women’s 1st 8 -­ 0 Leeds 2nd Women’s 2nd 6 -­ 2 York 2nd

Basketball Men’s 1st 95 -­ 48 Chester 1st Men’s 2nd 88 -­ 50 Sunderland 2nd Men’s 3rd 79 -­ 38 Leeds 3rd

Fencing Men’s 1st 101 -­ 131 York 1st Men’s 2nd 135 -­ 57 Hull 1st Men’s 3rd 71 -­ 132 Durham 3rd Women’s 1st 114 -­ 101 Nottingham 1st :RPHQ¶V QG 6KHI¿HOG VW Women’s 3rd 135 -­ 102 Northumbria 1st

is a very popular pastime for students and league spaces are operated with a first come first serve policy, so don’t wait around to get your team together.

To register a team or for more information on Intra Mural sport at Newcastle University contact Denis Murphy, denis.murphy@ncl.ac.uk

Intra Mural sport is the perfect mix of competitiveness and fun Image: Dennis Murphy

Football

Lacrosse

Squash

Men’s 1st 2 -­ 0 Manchester 1st 0HQ¶V QG 6KHI¿HOG QG Women’s 1st 0 -­ 2 Northumbria 2nd Women’s 2nd 14 -­ 0 Sunderland 2nd

Men’s 1st 9 -­ 2 Leeds 1st Men’s 2nd 9 -­ 2 Bradford 1st Women’s 1st 6 -­ 14 Birmingham 1st Women’s 2nd 3 -­ 22 Leeds 1st

Men’s 1st 4 -­ 1 Manc. Met. 1st Men’s 2nd 3 -­ 2 Durham 2nd Men’s 3rd 3 -­ 0 Durham 4th Women’s 2nd 3 -­ 1 Durham 3rd

Golf

Netball

Table Tennis

Mixed 1st 4.5 -­ 1.5 Hull 1st Mixed 2nd 1.5 -­4.5 Northumbria 3rd

Women’s 1st 30 -­ 40 Manchester 1st Women’s 2nd 12 -­ 56 Leeds 1st Women’s 3rd 34 -­ 30 Durham 3rd Women’s 4th 28 -­ 51 Leeds 4th

Men’s 1st 10 -­ 2 Leeds 1st

Hockey 0HQ¶V VW 6KHI¿HOG +DO QG Men’s 2nd 1 -­ 3 Durham 3rd Men’s 3rd 4 -­ 0 York St John’s 1st Men’s 4th 1 -­ 1 Northumbria 2nd Women’s 1st 7 -­ 0 Durham 3rd Women’s 2nd 4 -­ 0 Leeds 2nd Women’s 3rd 1 -­ 3 York St John’s 1st Women’s 4th 0 -­ 1 Hull 1st

Rugby Union Men’s 1st 15 -­ 10 Leeds 1st Men’s 2nd 37 -­ 17 Leeds Beckett 2nd Men’s 3rd W/O Sheff Hallam 1st 0HQ¶V WK 6KHI¿HOG QG 0HQ¶V WK 6KHI¿HOG UG Women’s 1st 15 -­ 56 Loughboro’ 1st

Rugby League Men’s 1st 4 -­ 44 Northumbria 1st Men’s 2nd 0 -­ 96 Northumbria 1st

Tennis Men’s 1st 14 -­ 3 Leeds 3rd Men’s 2nd 2 -­ 10 Durham 4th Women’s 1st 0 -­ 12 Durham 2nd Women’s 2nd 0 -­ 12 Leeds Beckett 2nd

Volleyball Men’s 1st 3 -­ 1 Teeside 1st

The Courier

sportbucs.43

Monday 19 October 2015

.QLJKWV WKUDVK &KHVWHU LQ RSHQLQJ ¿[WXUH Men’s Basketball Newcastle 1sts

95

Chester 1sts

48

about complacency and the importance of practicing the plays that they had been working on. The response from

“Coach Hewitt emphasised the need to build up good habits and gel as a team”

By James Sproston at Sports Centre Wednesday marked the dawn of a new season for Newcastle basketball in BUCS. Coach Hewitt and his scouting set up had been busy in the summer transfer window, snapping up three American stars on deadline day to give the team a bit of flair and guile. This evening’s opponents were University of Chester 1s, who are well renowned for their physical game.

Nevertheless, once Charlie Wallrapp gave Newcastle the lead from the tip off, the Knights were unmatched. The team were able to undertake both blindingly quick counter attacks and intricately developed plays to break down the opposition. Having said that, Coach Hewitt regularly called for the team to improve on their defensive rotation and communication on the court, with some defensive lapses allowing Chester

“Once Charlie Wallrapp gave Newcastle the lead from the tip off, the Knights were unmatched”

to score some preventable points. Chester’s physical game contrasted to the tiki-taka style of Newcastle, embodied by the diminutive Chester number ten who consistently conceded fouls. These

Newcastle’s Knights battle for valuable points over Chester Photography by James Sproston free throws were often clinically scored by the Knights’ players, and contributed to the 26-5 lead that they had accumulated by the end of the first period.

Before this match only three of the eight man squad had previously played together, so Coach Hewitt emphasised

the need to build up good habits and gel as a team. He was supported by his assistant coaches George Beard and Prince Lartey, who provided a feed of information, whilst the more experienced players provided direction on the court for those less familiar with the team’s plays.

NUNC endure tough start Netball

By Abi Dodwell NUNC 1st 30-40 Manchester 1st With drastic changes having been made in the first team, Newcastle began their season facing their toughest opponent in the division. From the first centre pass it was clear that Newcastle were hungry for a win as they defended fiercely down the court, staying level with Manchester and ending the first quarter with everything still to play for at 9-9. Newcastle applied pressure to Manchester’s set plays but the opposition’s faultless shooting meant that by half time Newcastle were down by just

made forceful drives and allowed the attack to work with more fluidity, but this wasn’t enough to catch up with Leeds’ unstoppable shooters. Despite the score at half time (36-6), Newcastle continued to work at their own pace with Lauren Mcnallen linking play well between the defence and attack. It is safe to say that the score does not reflect the team’s effort and they still expect to have a great season.

NUNC 3rd 34-40 Durham 3rd Although the start may have been a bit shaky with centre court needing to assert themselves more the team managed to pull their game back by mak-

drives in attack to move the ball down the court. Nadia Herhoffer also made some crucial tips on the defensive third line that her team were able to convert into goals. In the second quarter the opposition really stepped up their game and making it hard for Newcastle to score. But we stuck tight in defence getting lots of tips in the D and Scarlett Shaw had great movement in attack.

In the third quarter we continued to apply pressure all down the court and the attack continued to push through, especially Jess Tracey at GA who was marking a very physical player. Even

“Newcastle had taken the lead and were dominating on court”

a few goals. In the second half of the whole team pulled together and communicated well, with excellent shooting from Hollie Joyce and Jess Wheeler.

Although Newcastle did not take the victory, they played an incredible game of netball and are determined to beat Manchester when the match is played on home turf.

NUNC 2nd 12-56 Leeds 1st Having to face a team that played in the prem last season is not an ideal first match, but Newcastle still went in with a positive attitude and were ready to challenge Leeds. In the first few minutes the defence really stepped up with immediate tips made by Laura Brady forcing Leeds to make quick and unsteady passes. However Leeds took advantage of our few fumbles when feeding into the attack and created a 14-1 lead. As the game progressed Frankee Bonnett

ing stronger drives in order to outplay Durham and keep the score close at 5-8. In the second quarter Newcastle settled into their new team and found their feet. There was great play from Katie Isbister who gave brilliant feeds into Goal Shooter Molly Macleod (player of the match). By half time Newcastle had taken the lead and were dominating on court. In the third quarter crucial turnovers were made by the team Captain Natalie Brown. But the game was still close going into the final fifteen minutes as Newcastle dropped behind by four goals but managed to pull it back and win the game 34-30. A brilliant start to the season for the 3rd team, who no doubt have a good chance of promotion this year.

NUNC 4th 28-51 Leeds 4th The game started strong with the team communicating well and making strong

On the defence: NUNC had tough fixtures

Photography by Abi Dodwell

though Leeds started to pull away the team managed to find a burst of energy in the last quarter proving to Leeds that we would try our hardest until the last second. Ellie Folger played a spectacular game providing support all down the court and offering solid feeds. The team has taken a lot away from the game and will look to continue giving 100% all season.

Although Chester remained a threat, competing against inferior opposition can be a challenge. Not only is there a risk of injury, but maintaining a high level of basketball can be hard work.

At the half-time interval, with his team leading 49-15, Coach Hewitt warned

the restart was impressive, with Chuck Duru and Charlie Wallrapp scoring four consecutive three-pointers between them, and the Knights continued in that vein extending the lead to 7132 going into the final quarter. As the match drew into the closing stages, the play got more casual and careless. Chester showed great character to keep battling considering the one-sidedness of the score, helped by the Newcastle team who seemed to lack urgency and didn’t push too hard, perhaps with their National Shield match on Sunday in mind.

The final score of 95-48 may have been representative of the game but certainly not of the Newcastle team. There were glimpses throughout the match of real potential, giving the team real positivity for the rest of the season. Given a bit more time to gel, the Knights will be a real force to be reckoned with, pushing for major honours this season. It would be great to see more people come to watch this season’s games, especially considering the talent of the team and the spectacle of the sport as a whole.

The team’s next BUCS match is against Northumbria Mens 2s in Sports Central on Wednesday. So if anyone fancies watching the Old Enemy get thumped in their own back yard, get down there.

*LUOV XQOXFN\ LQ 3RO\ ORVV Women’s Football Newcastle 1sts

0

Northumbria 2nds

2

By Liam Carson at Cochrane Park A determined and dogged performance by Newcastle Women’s 1st team was not enough to overcome Northumbria’s 2nds, as they went down to a 2-0 defeat at Cochrane Park on Wednesday afternoon.

The game was set up in perfect conditions with a cold crisp breeze descending on the pitch as Northumbria started the game the better of the two sides, cleverly beating the defence twice.

Despite this, they just couldn’t beat the Newcastle goalkeeper.

Later, Newcastle tried to break the pressure but struggled to make an impact early on as their striker became very isolated in the oppositions half, making chances difficult to create.

At the back, the defence was working hard and sent in several strong, crunching tackles that really fired up the intensity of the game. The captain Zoe Rutter in particular was consistently putting in inch perfect tackles that kept her side level throughout the Northumbrian onslaught.

Newcastle’s keeper was outstanding throughout the first half, preventing the opening goal from a swift down the left wing resulting in a low shot which was parried away smartly for a corner.

The Northumbria winger then curled the ball towards the top right hand corner and once again Newcastle’s number one was there to stop it.

Pressure kept building and it was soon too much for Newcastle. After conced-

ing a free-kick around 20-yards away from goal, Northumbria’s set piece taker took aim. It was a rocket of a shot from the dead ball situation and it sailed into the top left hand corner, beating Newcastle’s helpless ‘keeper who couldn’t have done anything about the stunning direct free-kick.

After the break, Newcastle continued to be pressured by the opposition with several chances being missed in quick succession by the away side as corners were swung in. Luckily for the home team the Northumbria strikers were unable to put their headers on target.

Newcastle’s keeper was continuing to have a great afternoon, coming out quickly and bravely to slide in, taking the ball from the opposing striker. This stand out performance appeared to give Newcastle a lot of confidence as they began to mount some pressure on Northumbria.

In the tricky wind, several shots from distance were troubling the Northumbria keeper who fumbled the ball a few times when under pressure.

The growing confidence was also shown in the defence, especially when Rutter made another superb challenge to deny a certain second goal.

Northumbria tried for a second and came close but again saw a late effort pushed away by the impressive Newcastle ‘keeper. The Poly 2nds then saw another effort tipped away by the keeper and from there a second goal looked inevitable.

The goal finally came when a swift move down the left wing broke through the defence of Newcastle. The ball was played across the box where an easy tapin was available for.

The result in the end did not justify the hard work of the Newcastle side but the 1sts will look to get back on track against Durham 2nds next week.

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 19 October 2015 Issue 1316 Free

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sports Editors: Alex Hendley, Calum Wilson & Lewis Bedford courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk Twitter: @Courier_Sport | Instagram: thecouriersport

Newcastle 13 -­ 10 Northumbria Newcastle’s Rugby team avenged last year’s Clash of the Titans defeat Photography by Jack Parker

Newcastle regain the Clash crown Men’s Rugby Union

By Calum Wilson at Kingston Park Newcastle’s rugby team have re-claimed the local bragging rights after coming from behind to defeat fierce rivals Northumbria in the annual season opener, Clash of the Titans. Second half tries from George Fellows and Dave Graham were enough to give Newcastle a narrow three-point win in a characteristically cagey affair at Kingston Park.

Last year’s Clash of the Titans will forever be remembered for the infamous streaker tackle that marred a high-scoring game, with Northumbria running out as eventual winners, 29-10. No such stripping occurred this time around; the 5,000 strong crowd were well behaved and the Newcastle faithful were in fine voice throughout.

The game itself started slowly. Both sides made early mistakes, as a combination of nerves and wet conditions threatened to limit any free-flowing rugby. Possession changed hands numerous times during the opening exchanges, as the two teams were repeatedly unable to force their way beyond the opposition 22-metre line.

Northumbria second row Josh Pettet provided the first big hit of the evening.

Not wanting to be upstaged, the Newcastle section replied with a familiar chorus of “Feed the Poly”.

Newcastle’s set-piece taker Rhodri Adamson had the first opportunity to put a score on the board, but the full back, who has previously trained with the Newcastle Falcons, couldn’t convert from 30 metres out on the right. Adamson, who last year played in the number 10 role, looked much more assured as the side’s last line of defence and showed a steady pair of hands during the game’s early high-ball exchanges.

The match remained scoreless until the 22nd minute. In his eagerness to regain possession, Newcastle scrum half Duncan Swanson was caught offside as he tried to rip the ball from his opposite number. The resulting penalty was duly converted by Northumbria’s kicker, full back Donald Crawford, in front of the jubilant Poly stand.

Northumbria were only in front for a matter of minutes. Adamson made it 3-3, converting a penalty from a similar position in front of the posts and about 25 metres out. The final ten minutes of the first half saw the match revert back into a stop-start affair. Northumbria’s

“I got the call from our number 8 George Fellows and I just planned to drag a defender out and flick it back, he had the gas to get over the whitewash” The first 12 minutes passed largely without incident before Newcastle managed to carve out their first meaningful attack of the game. Having won a penalty and kicked to the corner, the ball was swept out to Uni fly half Ben Nichols, whose grubber kick round the corner just evaded chaser Teddy Hewins.

After a surprisingly subdued start, the Poly supporters roared into life as

Matthew Minnett came closest to getting over the line, but for some resilient defence from the Newcastle forwards.

Intensity levels on and off the pitch rose as the referee signalled the start of the second period. Early pressure from Newcastle seemed to lift their section of the crowd and a chant of “Poly is a girl’s name” amused those inside the stadium.

The style of play became increasingly open in the second half, but the slippery conditions continued to cause havoc.

46 minutes in, Newcastle winger Teddy Hewins appeared to have broken free down the right and looked sure to go all the way, before suddenly losing his grip on the greasy ball and spilling forward.

Northumbria looked intent on punishing that error as they immediately mounted pressure on their opponents.

The powerful Poly forwards put together a series of big drives as they edged closer to the goalposts. Finally, after a

from the Poly end, the flags stayed down and the deficit remained just two points.

At the other end, Hewins appeared to be in to score but was denied once more; this time the winger had clearly put a foot into touch. Newcastle tried their luck with the opposite wing and Dave Graham found just enough room to race round the defender before diving for the corner with millimetres to spare.

With a slender three-point lead to protect, Newcastle needed to be tactically astute and relied on clever kicking

SUMMER SPORT ROUND UP P.40

“It’s such a great and awesome feeling to win the Clash of the Titans. We controlled the game well and played in the right areas. It was a tough 80 minutes” scrum five metres out, Stuart Nel managed to bundle himself over the line.

Crawford kicked a simple conversion to make the score 3-10.

Newcastle needed an instant response and they got it. Spectacular link up play from Duncan Swanson and George Fellows allowed the latter to race through untouched and the number 8 simply had too much pace and power for the helpless Northumbria full back. Adamson failed to convert the try, leaving Newcastle trailing 8-10.

Speaking to The Courier after the match, Swanson talked through his phenomenal assist: “I got the call from our number 8 George Fellows and I just planned to drag a defender out and flick it back, he had the gas to get over the whitewash. It was a great try.”

The Clash was now in full flow, the two sets of supporters traded witty tunes, and on the pitch tackles flew in left and right, as both sides smelt victory. The Northumbrians thought they had increased their advantage when Crawford again looked to have converted a penalty kick, but despite cheers

from the boots of Swanson, Adamson and Nichols to repeatedly pin Northumbria back in their own half.

In the very final seconds of the match Newcastle were awarded a penalty. Adamson’s kick hit the post which kept the ball in play, but alive to the danger, the pack were quick to pounce and drove the ball carrier over the dead ball line.

After what seemed like an eternity, the referee blew his whistle to confirm the long-awaited return of North East pride to Newcastle University.

“It’s such a great and awesome feeling to win Clash of the Titans”, confirmed Duncan Swanson. “It was a really good game, all credit to Northumbria, they came really hard at us, and it was a tough 80 minutes.”

“We controlled the game well and played in the right areas. We didn’t try to play too much in our own half and tried to pin them back. Our forwards worked really hard in and around the ruck and I thought we managed our kicking game very well.”

BUCS PREVIEW P.41

INTRO TO INTRA MURAL P.42

The Courier

lifestyle feature.19

Monday 19 October 2015

Which cat’s got the cream?

Newcastle became home to not one, but two brand-spanking-new cat cafes over the summer holidays. Here, Laura Staniforth and Ellie McLaren get their claws out to decide which is the most purrfect for students

Mog on the Tyne

CATegories Pun Factor: 4/5

The nations favourite caffeinated drink with a feline twist. What could be better?

Cat Cuteness: 5/5

Just look at this fluffy little cherub down below, that’s got to convince you!

Friendliness: 5/5

Despite a busy opening day, the owner let us stay after closing to chat about her furry friends.

Food: 3.5/5

A wide range of drinks, cakes and savoury items means there’s food to suit all tastes, and there’s a selection of Chinese teas on the menu.

Needing something to fill your pro-cat-stination hours other than Jeremy Kyle and Yik Yak? Dissertation preps and home-sickness getting you down? Need a hangover cure other than leftover kebab? Look no further than the North East’s very first cat café ‘Mog on the Tyne’.

Opening up during the summer holidays, and situated on one of the cobbly streets between Bigg Market and Collingwood St, ‘Mog on the Tyne’ took over 1000 bookings in it’s first few days and boasts 11 cats, an array of lunch time nibbles and pawninis, Pet Lamb Patisserie (of Grainger Market) sweet treats, and the frothiest of catpuccinos this side of the Tyne.

The rescue moggies that live on Pudding Chare have the most inventive and cutest names ever: including Tyrion (big up GoT fans), Sir Francis, Gizmo, Magpie and my personal favourite, Stan the Man. Stan is like your lovable, but bloomin’ miserable, grandad. The oldest of the 11 cats, Stan is 5 years old and because of certain

health issues, isn’t as playful as the rest. On my first visit, however, he must have had his more than usual dose of catnip, because he was chasing the laser light around the café better than the 6-month-old kittywinks, weaving in and out of the chairs and pop-up tunnels like a cat out of hell.

Don’t worry about the cats stealing your food, they’re very well house-trained and the play area and dining area are well organised so you can eat and drink in peace if you want to. But let’s be honest, are you really going to begrudge a kitten coming over and rubbing against your leg, saying hello? Of course you’re not, ‘cos deep down, we’re all crazy cat people.

Mog on the Tyne is open Tuesday-Sunday from 10am-8pm (3pm-5pm is reserved for cat naps) and is open to bookings and walk-ins. You’ll have a paw-sitively good time, I can guarantee.

Value: 4/5

Unlike Mog on the Tyne, CatPawCino gives you a free refreshment with your entry fee. Fab.

CatPawCino

CATegories Pun Factor: 4/5

A brilliant name that is in the local interest, harking back to the good ol’ days of Lindisfarne (we’ll just ignore the Gazza rap ever happened).

Images: KATherine Smith

Cat Cuteness: 3/5

The majority of the cats are actually kittens, at 6months old or less. Apart from Stan, the grumpy sod.

Friendliness: 4/5

The staff were really accommodating and told us all about the history of the moggies.

Food: 3/5

My visit coincided with the dire skint-ness of end of summer, which meant I could only afford ‘soup of the day’. Tasty though.

Value: 2/5

Both cafes are a fiver to get in, but you don’t get the free drink at Mog on the Tyne...

When my friend suggested that we should attempt to get bookings for the opening day of Catpawcino, I was thrilled. This new cat café on the Quayside promised a ‘refuge in the city to relax with kitties’, and oh meow did they deliver!

The brainchild of Sarah Zong, who moved to Newcastle from China and fell in love with the city, the café is decorated airily to invoke the idea that you’re relaxing in a chic garden, surrounded by feline friends. The café itself offers a variety of paninis and cakes, with numerous vegetarian options and cute decorations such as cat faces and paw prints.

There’s also a section downstairs which is cat free, so if you’re a bit cautious about eating around animals you can relax there before coming back up to play.

The most important aspect though: the cats themselves. All of the cats were owned by Sarah and raised together, so she could get a good feel for their temperament. Currently there are

five, but this number may expand in the future.

Alfie is the oldest and boldest, a Ragdoll who loves to curl up next to patrons and have an ear scratch. The twins Chocolate and Davin were a little tired when we were there, but were cuddled up together so cutely that I don’t think any patrons minded. As it was the first day, Ebby (a Scottish Fold), and Betty (a British Blue), were resting after a very exciting time, but apparently were playing with customers most of the morning.

One exciting aspect of Catpawcino is that they donate a portion of profits to local cat cafes, in an effort to give back to the community.

While the café does accept walk ins, it fills up quickly, so you are encouraged to book online. Catpawcino is open from 10am7pm, and slots are for an hour and a half.

Twitter: @mogonthetyne

Twitter: @catpawcino

Facebook: /newcastlecatcafe

Facebook: /catpawcino

Website: www.mogonthetyne.com

Website: www.catpawcino.com

Instagram: /mogonthetyne

Instagram: /catpawcino