GSM Orientation 2011 "Class"

GS Magazine s t n e d u t S U C Class E f

P

o y t r rope

- Orientation 2011 -

Che Guevara

Robert Downey Jr

La Roux

Edith Cowan

George Clooney

The Nanny

Karl Marx

Margaret Thatch-

Meryl Streep

Cary Grant

Isabella Rossellini

Mao Zedong

Ronald Reagan

Jackie Onassis

Billy Bragg

Elizabeth Taylor

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Editor Tom Reynolds Arts Editor: Claire McManus arts.editor.gsm@gmail.com Books Editor: Marisa Wikramanayake books.editor.gsm@gmail.com Film Editor: Kitty Wong film.editor.gsm@gmail.com Games Editor: Marisa Wikramanayake games.editor.gsm@gmail.com Music Editor: Greg Junop music.editor.gsm@gmail.com Sub-Editing & Proofreading: Nicholas Alviani, Greg Junop, Todd Edwards, Marisa Wikramanayake, Jasmine Reilly, Vi Nguyen, Larry Fife Contributors: Jarrad Otten, Jasmine Reilly, Nicole Pfeifhofer, Larry Fife, Kara Fraussen, John Pratt, Tom Reynolds, Greg Junop, Jessica Yvonne, Marisa Wikramanayake, Caroline Dale Design & Layout Tom Reynolds & Alex Pond Cover Alex Pond & Tom Reynolds Photos Nicole Pfeifhofer (centrefold) Greg Junop (6 - 7) Advertising Tom Reynolds (08) 9370 6609 communications@ecuguild.org.au Printed by Vanguard Press GS Magazine Edith Cowan University 2 Bradford St Mount Lawley, WA Australia 6050 editor@ecuguild.org.au Find us on Facebook - Search for “GS Magazine” GS Magazine is an independent publication of the ECU Guild. The opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of GS Magzine’s Editor, its contributors or the ECU Guild.

The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the Editor or the ECU Student Guild. The Editor reserves the right to make changes to submitted material as required. This publication is made possible by your Guild membership.

4

Welcome to the Guild!

Aim: Our aim is to represent the interests of all ECU students to the University, government agencies and other organisations; to provide welfare and social services to our members that would be otherwise unavailable; and to enrich experience of students by creating a sense of community on campus.

Operations: The primary function of the Guild is to provide benefits and services to our members through a variety of programs and activities.

Your membership supports: - Funding and supporting clubs and societies - Running and organising the End of Semester Party - Your student magazine - Providing free-to-use kitchen facilities - Providing BBQ and outdoor equipment - Providing discount booklets - Funding Guild departments for equity groups - Running the Second Hand Books Service - This diary - Market days on campus - Lobbying the University to improve services and conditions on campus - Education and Welfare services including emergency loans, referal and counselling

The Guild provides welfare services and social activities that would otherwise be unavailable to students on campus. This ranges from throwing End of Semester parties, to appealing your exam results, or lobbying the government to increase the Student Allowence.

Each year students like you get the opportunity to vote for candidates running for the Senate. The Senate represents students to the University and works on your behalf to improve the experience of studying at ECU. The Senate also decides what activities and services to offer members.

They are supported by a team of professional staff members who promote, provide and support these services. The Guild also provides direct funding and support to clubs and departments aimed at equity groups like Women, Mature Age, Queer, Indigenous and Disabled Students.

The Guild belongs to you, the members. If you ever have a suggestion, complaint, feedback or a question please let us know!

Second Hand Book Service The Guild runs this service from the Mount Lawley campus. The service is open Monday and Friday from 9 - 4.

Guild members are entitled to a discount on all books.

Education and Welfare Assistance There are Education and Welfare Officers at each of ECU’s campuses. They are available to all students needing help or assitance with university and welfare related issues. Members are entitled to access the loans and food voucher program.

Free kitchen facilities & breakfast All members will have access to the Guild’s kitchen facilties. Free breakfast foods are offered everyday (subject to availability). Please note this service operates on a first-come-first-served basis.

The Guild accepts no responsibility for dietry or allergy related consequences.

National Campus Band Competition NCBC is organised annually by the Guild and offers student bands and music groups the oppurtunity to compete for the National Championiships

Other benefits: By paying the Amenities & Services Fee, you contribute to a range of social activities and welfare services.

• Health Information & Referrals • Equity, Diversity and Sustainability Representation & Assistance • Education / Faculty Representation & Support Officers • Lobbying to reduce HELP Fees • Student Campaigns & Initiatives • Student Representation & Support • Social Events • Weekly Guild Session • Competitions & Activities • Activities Officers & Staff Support • Equipment Hire • Activist Spaces (for clubs, societies & collectives) • Student Discounts & Price Reductions On & Off Campus • Post Graduate Association • International Students Council • Bunbury Student Common Room • Development of and Upgrades to Guild Access Points

How to join the Guild (it’s easy as!)

1] Log onto SIMO online: 2] On the front page of the website is the following information: Guild Membership / Amenities & Services. You must select your membership and fee status before the census date each semester.

3] Payment must be made at the beginning of each semester at tStudent Central.

If you have any problems joining please contact Student Central on 6304/9370 2000

5

Editorial Hello Handsome Welcome to the new GSM. Like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon we’ve experienced a dramatic transition from our past form. I’m talking new content, new writers, new style, new tone and a new direction! We’ve even slipped in a few extra pages for your general edification.

Editing a magazine isn’t for the fainthearted. This edition of GSM alone represents days’ worth of cursing at InDesign, teeth gnashing over apostrophe placements and surreptitious wine quaffing. Not to forget saying: “I’ll be done in twenty minutes” ad nauseum to friends and lovers alike.

It also represents many new friendships and the germination of what could be a rockin’ little student publication next year.

Tom Reynolds editor@ecuguild.org.au (08)9370 6609 GSM - ECU 2 Bradford Street Mount Lawley WA 6050 Building 12

GSM isn’t intended to be a professional publication. Which isn’t the same as saying we can’t be a classy, worthy or quality magazine. Student press exists for two reasons:

The first is to give a voice to students; it doesn’t need to be alternatively profound or flippant, it just needs to be authentic and inclusive.

The second reason is about improving the quality of life for students at university. Student publications (the good ones at least) sustain communities of creative, provocative and diverse personalities. They become a social, creative and (dare I say it) intellectual hub outside the confines of a specific degree, faculty or peergroup strata.

The communities that exist around student press are campus melting pots. But all these good things only come about if students are willing and able to come together in the first place. We’re willing to give this a go, if you’re willing to take up the offer.

So get involved!

“Peace, love, ecstacy*, unity and respect” - Muscles - Tom Reynolds

*For

the longest time i’d assumed he’d meant the euphoric emotion. I still like my interpretation better and hold this was his original meaning.

GS MAGAZINE 2011 We Wa n t Yo u !

No previous experience is required. We are looking for candidates who can demonstrate that they have a strong vision for GSM and an appreciation for student press.

Please keep in mind that GSM is produced on the Mount Lawley campus.

Interested students must submit a written application to the Communications and Marketing Department - Building 12 Mount Lawley - by NOON March 21st.

Please contact Tom Reynolds for more information:

The Editor will be resposible for running Writers’ Nights, proofing articles, general layout and meeting publishing deadlines.

The will also liase with the C&M Department on advertising and distribution.

Joint applications are welcome.

A: Building 12 Mount Lawley Campus E: communications@ecuguild.org.au P: (08) 9370 6609

Message from the V.C. Quality of teaching, learning and research and its relevance to our communities, as well as accessibility to higher education, are all key factors of the funding negotiations which are in effect being driven by questions about what we do – what is our mission?

At ECU our mission for some years has been “to further develop valued citizens for the benefit of Western Australia and beyond, through teaching and research inspired by engagement and partnerships”.

Our approach is very compatible with the Commonwealth Government’s strategic directions for higher education.

ECU is scheduled for its AUQA audit cycle during 2011 and preparations are well underway. AUQA (Australian Universities Quality Agency) is an independent, nonprofit national agency which promotes, audits and reports on quality assurance in Australian higher education, and undertakes audits of each university about every five years.

I am delighted to welcome new students to our University Student community, and to welcome back continuing students.

At ECU we place great importance on you our Students. We hope that your experience as part of our University community is one which you will cherish and that you will make life-long friends at ECU. The student experience is enhanced through the services provided by the ECU Student Guild in building a community spirit on campus. I congratulate our Guild on its commitment to playing an active part in making our campuses vibrant and welcoming places to study.

At a University level, we are expecting a busy year in 2011. The year has started at a fast pace. As part of the Federal Government’s higher education reforms following the “Bradley Review” undertaken in 2008, the way in which funding is allocated to universities has changed with “Compacts” currently being negotiated individually by each university with the Commonwealth Government.

At a local level, on campus you will notice much activity with the construction of our new Engineering and Technology building and extension of the Joondalup Sports and Recreation Centre at Joondalup; the extensions for WAAPA at Mount Lawley; and the development of faculty-based student information centres on all Campus, to name just a few of the improvements being made at ECU during 2011.

In addition, to accommodate our growing student numbers from the start of Semester 1 this year, an additional 357 beds for student accommodation will be available at Mount Lawley and a new 200 bay student car park will soon be available at Joondalup.

Professor Kerry O. Cox Vice-Chancellor

5

Message from the President The Guild also offers a wide variety of clubs and societies to chose from - everything from the Student Party Association, POWA Anime Club or the Beat Collective (our oncampus DJs) to the ECU Christian Union, North Law Society, South-West Book Club, or ECU Amnesty International. Clubs run study groups, parties, movie nights, pub crawls, training and workshops for you to get the most out of your University experience, and help you meet new friends you are likely to keep for your time at ECU and beyond. (And if you can't find one you like, why not make your own Guildsupported club!)

This year will be a fantastic and productive year, with many facility related projects under way. On each campus the Guild provides office and activity space for each of its Departments, which cover a broad range of academic, social and cultural aspects of university life.

The Guild is the peak student representative body of this University, where we endeavor to provide the best support to our students.

The Guild also advocates for equality no matter the race or creed of the student. As a student, I know myself that University can be challenging and confusing at times but I will ensure to make your university life as enjoyable and productive as possible.

We provide many forms of support such as emergency loans, grievances/appeals and course assistance that are part of our most vital service, run by our Education and Welfare Officers. We also offer a second hand book shop and second hand computers.

The Guild recognises that student welfare and access to education are two of the most important areas that students must be represented; as a non-profit organisation, the Guild aims to provide diverse and contemporary services at little-to-no cost to our members.

These include air-conditioned lounging areas, with huge plasma TVs and gaming consoles, improved kitchen facilities and appliances, new computers for studies, gaming and leisure, private study areas and plans to implement a Hydrogen-Hybrid Guild Vehicle for student use.

The Guild is also expanding the volunteering opportunities it offers to students: the ECU Community Garden, eWaste classes, International and Study-Abroad Buddy programmes, Faculty Peer Mentoring, and writing or design for the GS Magazine are only a few.

Financial membership entitles students to even more services, such as discounts on our second hand PCs and books service, further discounts to off-campus retail and services, special prices on Guild events/ parties and our growing list of further discounts to on-campus services.

Tim Sandhu President ECU Student Guild

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Adventures On A Budget Ka-clink, ka-clink, ka-clink The silent woosh of the Clarkson train shuffling toward Midland, the promise of kangaroos, cuckatoos, waterfalls and live music abound. The bag at my feet holds provisions for the three of us – lord knows they didn’t pack enough to cross a national park.

For almost every Sunday since I landed in Australia, my friends and I have made the point to go on an adventure . Doesn’t matter if it is swimming in the Ocean, or just hanging with the ‘roos on Heirisson Island, we are determined to “live Australia”, and fulfill every stereotype.

The Skinny: John Forrest National Park is 26km from Perth, and 7 km from Midland, and accessible by PerthTransit.

There are plenty of hiking and cycling trails, live music, BBQ areas, a couple waterfalls, and the site of Western Australia’s only train wreck. Great day trip for couples, adventurers or what not.

The Long: Waiting at the bus stop, the sun bakes the earth. Its not too hot but the sun sucks every drop of water from us.

Gruff and demanding I tell my friends to go buy water, Gatorade and snacks. What they return with is a laughably small bottle of water, 300 mL at best. I buy a Gatorade for the hangover I’m nursing, but they will need it too. Staring back over the lot, I can hear a farmers’ market in the distance. The buildings are low slung, and people plod about pulling on doors of businesses long closed.

As the bus trundles into the station, a moment of hesitation. I’ve entrusted my friends for this adventure on the grounds of “Hey let’s hike John Forrest, and if there is time left over, we can do the second one.” I suggested we stick to one, thinking they don’t fully realize the size of a National Park. I entrusted them with everything and still prepare for the worst, packing extra food and cash knowing there wouldn’t be a bus.

It wasn’t my adventure to plan, but I was going along with a big grin, looking forward to the inevitable. The bus stinks of overused sun-baked vinyl and people.

Can’t complain, no longer standing in the sun. It is an older bus, more pulling itself along than actually driving. I’ve got a massive grin at the thought that my friends have no idea what they are in for.

15 minutes, from the station we disembark. Stepping off the bus we hug a bare patch of sandy grass, inches from the highway. Making our way in, we enter the first gate of the park and plod along the bicycle trail.

Progress is slow, stopping every five feet. Shutters click, and the cameras continuously snapping every tiny flower bursting forth from the barren scrub. Dead trees arch overhead and I walk on, hoping they will catch up. At the very least I hope their sense of being left alone in the Aussie scrub would make them want to stick together.

After an excruciating hour and a half, we can’t have covered more than one and a half kilometers. It is an embarrassingly slow pace, even for people with short legs. When she passes me the gps, I zoom the map out to show them a map of the entire park. Its huge, and all we’ve done is skirt along the highway, barely heading inland at all to where they had inititally planned.

Success. They want to press on faster. All is well for about one kilometer. We make good time, only 20 minutes. By now the sun is past noon, and time is against us. Our progress comes to a screeching halt. There is an abandoned car, boot up and police taped. For the next 35 minutes we stop and wait while our photographer painstakingly takes a photo from every conceivable angle.

The Lorekeets and black cuckatoos chortled and sang about as we passed deeper and deeper into the park.

Stopping at the damn for a quick rest we linger over the calm waters as joggers pass us by, disappearing into the thickets of trees.

Pressing on further the scents of BBQ began to entice us. We pushed deeper past the group areas, the campgrounds, the bbq pits, and onto the long trail. When the train tracks were pulled, they turned it into a hiking trail. Soon we rounded a corner and came to the waterfalls. The scene was magestic and the hills would have looked at home in New Zealand, minus the lack of sheep. The rocks were worn smoth from eons of water rushing over them. A careful step and solid footing there makes sure you don’t slip and rush down with the rest oof it.

My compatriots want to press on, go towards the tunnel, and the site of the first wreck. We go in the wrong direction. Our path takes us across dilapidated bridges, rotted wood and across bogs. We come to the very end of the trail, another entrance to the park for cyclists.

The gut instinct was right, we went in the wrong direction. The lack of pedestrian traffic was a dead giveaway.

On the hike back, we come across a couple kangaroos, truly wild - both curious and wary of us. A couple appearances, and hops back deeper into the woods.

7

We hike out of the park, opting to try for the transit.

There is one bus scheduled, but it never comes. Its dark and we’re sitting on the side of a four-lane highway. After 35 minutes of singing and dancing by myself to keep warm, its clear there is no bus coming. The Transperth website no longer lists any transportation headed to the train station.

Hiking away from the bus stop we approach a gas station. A friendly attendant calls a cab for us and we stop to grab a bit of sugar to power us home.

When the cab arrives we’re sitting together shivering, but glad for the experience, bound together through shared frustration, cold, and sense of adventure and wonder. It is only a matter of time before we’re packed tight against each other on the empty train, huddled for warmth.

Ka-clink, ka-clink ka-clink.

- Greg Junop

8

Classy: gentlemen So this issue is about class, and it isn’t that hard to go from a Corona-swilling, thong-wearing, mouthbreathing, slack-jawed, rat-tail mullet-sporting, ignorant bogan to suave individual with a capacity for higher learning by adhering to these pointers.

Lifestyle and Attitude Being classy is all about how you carry yourself, no matter what you wear or what you look like.

That being said, there is a time to revel in boganism. That time is a monster truck rally. Do you see monster trucks everyday? No? Then why are you acting that way?

Do: Be willing to try new things, food, music, and adventures.Give a classic vinyl a spin, be it Redding, Mingus, Tom Waits, or Johnny Cash. Straighten your back, walk tall and proud.Turn down an order of chips for a salad. Beer money is tight? Buy a six-pack of something classy to offset the cases of Carlton. Just because we’re poor students doesn’t mean we have drink that way.

Grooming Grooming is clutch for nailing any job interview, date, meeting or presentation. Some people can rock a 5 o’clock shadow, most cannot. Be honest with yourself, as you don’t want to look like Uncle Mo Lester. A beard is classy. Patches of hair are gross.

Arrange your apartment appropriately – dump the amateur, promote the sentimental artifacts (baseball mitt, footie boots etc.) Your dwelling should scream culture and stories, not knuckle-dragging and date-raperey. Don’t leave jars of lube and moisturizer sitting around. Put ‘em in a drawer or cupboard.

Do: Wash and brush your hair (especially if you are a stoner, it takes 5 minutes). Shave with a shaving brush and eschew the instant foams and creams.

There is a lot of class in having one of those sitting around your apartment. Spend more than 15 dollars on a hair cut.

Make your bed and hang your clothes up. Iron your shirts too. Stand up to shake a person’s hand. A FIRM handshake, no wet noodles, and don’t be too eager and grab their fingers. Open a door for a partner every once in a whil They will remember you for it. Buy condoms that fit. Be honest. Do lend a hand, pitch in when someone needs help, and don’t wait for them to ask for it, just offer.

Don’t: Grow a rattail or let your kids have rattails.

Go to interviews unshaven. Comb chest hair over your shirt (I’ve seen it, and you know who you are).

Deodorant. Cologne - JUST A LITTLE BIT, not half the can/bottle, and certainly eschew Axe. NEVER FAKE TAN, FROST YOUR TIPS, POP YOUR COLLAR OR WEAR A VISOR. Sweet Christ, do that and you deserve a shovel upside your face before being culled from the gene pool. I mean goddamned there are dudes wearing mascara now.

Nothing against lifestyle and sexuality issues, but when combined with fake tan, Christ on a stick you deserve that shovel and a whole lot more.

Don’t: Don’t forget about chips, after all there is a time and place. Don’t drink bogan beer. Seriously, stop with the shitty bogan beer. Honestly unless you are having an American Thanksgiving party where you wear undershirts, sweatpants and buckets of deepfired food, there is no excuse to constantly have cases of shit beer sitting around. Don’t buy bootlegs. Download it yourself, or invest in the album or movie. Nothing says I’m a class-less fuck like having a bunch of cheap knocks. Your date takes one look at your cellophane DVDs, and thinks “Too cheap to take me to a movie, too cheap to buy reputable condoms as well.” Don’t walk with your nose up in the air, no one likes a snob.

9

Attire Look at yourself in the mirror everyday and ask yourself is this the image I want to project? If you were to run into your dream job, say CEO of a record company and you MEET the CEO, would you really want to be wearing a poncho and thongs? Did you bathe? No? Goodbye once in a lifetime opportunity. Hoodies/Jumpers are fine for sitting around the house, or chilly nights on the beach. Sweatpants/trackpants, jumpers, and basketball shorts just scream I pretend to be an athlete, but really just don’t care.

Remember, clothes make the man and say so much about you. Your clothes should help tell your story. What do you want your story to be?

Accessories Are thongs fashionable or polite for society? No. Never.

Are you a stoned hippie playing hacky-sack in the quad?

If so, then you can wear thongs with your poncho and have dreadlocks. You won’t be classy but it is a sure as fuck way for us to isolate you from society.

If you want to wear tongs, wear them at the beach. In public rock a pair of proper leather or faux -leather sandals. Think of proper or dress sandals as the ones with a solid top and exposed toe and ankle. as ones with a solid top and exposed toes and ankle. Now mind you, Birkenstock thongs are fine because they use leather cork and have a history and a story behind the product.

And hell if you can’t afford the really nice sandals, or oppose leather, feel free to purchase a pair of faux leather or imitation classy sandals. Just don’t go wandering about in a pair of dollar store things when you can rock some that are so much nicer. Hell I’ve been to Target and seen you can get nice looking ones for cheap.

What does your car say about you? If you drive a Jeep Rubicon, do you know what the name means? If not you probably shouldn’t drive one. It takes two seconds to learn the name and makes you that much more badass.

Now not all of us can afford big swanky cars, but that doesn’t mean you should put a 2,000.00 stereo into a 5,000.00 car. Seriously, spend that money on improving

your car, not hanging a skirt from it, or filling your windscreen with a bunch of cd’s dangling from your rearview mirror. No one cares that your car makes a ton of noise but still can’t go faster than 120kmph. Having a nicer car, not a shitbox decked out with noisemakers, spoilers and the like, takes you from Fast and Feeble to James Bond.

Literature Literature is a very subjective area. There are hundreds of terrific authors that each merit their own distinction.

What I will not tolerate is airport authors like Dan Brown or misogynistic authors like Stephenie Meyer.

If you want class you won’t be caught dead reading these authors in public, not for enjoyment, not to be ironic, and certainly not to make a point. Their works are drivel, and i’m not afraid to flay them publicly. Hell i might even advocate public floggings for those who publicly read and endorse these drecks of authors. Such punishment is warranted for both readers and authors alike as punishment for diluting the literary pool.

Pick up a classic, and though I may lean heavy on the Hemingway, try Mordecai Richler’s opus Barney’s Version, BEFORE it comes out in theatres. The smell of scotch and cigar smoke clings to each word. It won the Giller Prize, Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for Humour and two Governor General Awards for a reason.

Remember our friend Mr. Shovel? I’ll introduce you to him if I catch you trying to be classy while espousing Twilight or Angels and Demons or anything from their ilk.

Final Thoughts?

Being classy is more than just clothes and actions; it is a whole presentation. From image to manners, grooming and attire, it isn’t hard to do. Actions speak louder than words. Take pride in your appearance, afterall, what do you want your story to say about you?

- Greg Junop

ECU5912 ECU Student Guild Magazine, TB� 2011

Worry about your deadlines not your parking No one �ants to spend all day stressing about parking fines. So stick to the rules and you’ll have one less thing to �orry about. �ll vehicles parked on campus from 8am to 8pm �eekdays need a clearly displayed, valid permit or ticket. Student Red zones require a Student Red permit. You can buy Short Term Student Parking Scratchies for $3 per day or $6 per �eek. Your vehicle must be �ithin the marked bays to avoid a penalty, and parking rules apply all year including semester breaks.

Unfortunately having a permit doesn’t guarantee you a spot, so make sure you arrive early and allo� enough time to find one.

To make finding a spot even easier, check out ECU Carpooling. It’s a free service to help you find a carpooling partner and reduce the number of cars on campus. Or get public transport to avoid the hassles of parking altogether. There are lots of buses to and from ECU, �ith free C�T buses and excellent train services at Joondalup.

For more info and to order permits, go to ���.ecu.edu.au/fas/sts

303 ECU5912

CRICOS IPC 00279B

Gym Membership Special Ends 18th March 2011

Buy 12 months get 2 months free Buy 6 months get 1 month free

$50 off

Plus save up to the already special student gym membership rate if you have paid your Amenities and Services Fee! Membership includes: x

x x

x x

x

Two gym memberships for the price of one with Joondalup & Mt Lawley Fully qualified and experienced staff Free Group Fitness including Pilates, Yoga, RMP, Body Pump and more Free Fitness Appraisals every 12 wks Individually designed exercise programs No joining fees

See reception for details: Bldg 22 Joondalup Bldg 21 Mt Lawley www.ecu.edu.au/sport

10

Classy: ladies Class. Like the proverbial ‘IT’ factor – you’ve either got it or you don’t, right? Wrong. If you have been embracing the way of the airhead (“Like, I am what I am you know? What else am I supposed to be? Like, duh?”), or the potential closet loner (“Um, what am I supposed to be doing again?”), fear not. You can be classy. It will take work. God forbid, it might take a bit of an attitude adjustment. But you will survive and you will wonder why you never embraced your inner classy bitch/lady/broad/dame before.

Clothing/fashion 1) For the love of all things holy, figure out what suits you and stick with it. The key to being classy is to be appropriate. That means, appropriate to the occasion AND appropriate to what you can and can’t wear or get away with. So if you are way too curvy to wear skinny leg jeans, accept it and move on and get thyself into pencil skirts instead… And please, girls, if you are a size 14, wear a size 14 and don’t try to squeeze into a 10 because it only makes you look bigger than you actually are. Yes, this might mean you will have to stand naked in front of a mirror and become extremely self aware but you’d probably be a much nicer person afterwards that it might be worth taking the risk.

2) The key to wearing clothing is to show off EITHER shape OR skin. Show both and you immediately broadcast the fact that you look like a whore.

Not quite the look that I am assuming you would want to go for. A woman with class is not someone who above all is easy – why? She’s got standards.

Excluding your head of course, try thinking of your body in sections, maybe even in percentages – whatever works so that you know you’re balancing the portrayal of skin with the portrayal of the figure.

Basically, don’t put everything on display — give things a touch of mystery.

- Marisa Wikramanayake

3) Break out into colour but choose colours that work together and on you, please. Don’t wear several patterns at once because it looks extremely messy to the eye. In fact, get thee to an art gallery at once wench, so you can learn something about aesthetics and better judge what works and what doesn’t. In fact, get opinions from the snarkiest and most brutally honest friend you have. If she isn’t your best friend already, please bestow that honour on her because trust me, she’s the one who will have your back.

4) Think about texture and fabric. When you go shopping, you should be able to discern what you like, what you don’t like, how something feels against your skin, if it will cause you to break out in a rash or if it is breathable. Also it has very likely been made in a sweatshop somewhere or come from some sort of environmentally damaging crop farming system in the Third World.

5) DO NOT EVER WEAR THE FOLLOWING: Ugg boots with miniskirts, trackpants (unless you’re jogging, doing yoga or at a dance class), jeggings (we can see everything and we don’t really want to), Crocs (find some other comfy shoes, seriously), strapless necklines on EVERYTHING (some things yes but not every damn thing because no one is THAT interested in your cleavage, sorry. Also it’s boring.) Never ever have everything that you wear all glittery and sparkly – you were a fairy princess in kindergarten, you’re not five anymore. T-shirts with very stupid sexual innuendos – leave those to the bogan wannabe frat boys. Never wear a miniskirt if you are sitting in the front row at a class with a male lecturer. He’s not interested and you won’t get a higher grade.

6) Comfort over style. Or rather comfort first and then style second. Stop following the fads. You are sexier when confident and you are more confident when you are comfortable. So figure out if something is going to be comfortable first or else the pain

11

Appearance and grooming 1) Cut your nails short. If you must wear them long, don’t grow them so long that they start to curl or start looking like talons. They should be all the same length. Seriously, it’s creepy. Save it for Halloween parties if you must.

2) Don’t wear high heels that are higher than you can manage to walk in. It’s not exactly becoming to be stumbling and falling over. Make sure that the shoes you buy support the arch of the foot. When you walk in them, put the heel down first, then the toe. When climbing stairs, tiptoe to maintain your balance. Walk as softly as you can (though on some paving and cobblestones, this never works), because no one wants to listen to the elephant in the room.

3) Get a hairstyle that suits you that doesn’t require that much maintenance or else when you get older you won’t be able to do anything you want with your hair. So a style that has the minimal possible amount of blowdrying, straightening or curling. Everyone hates the person who hogs the bathroom for hours on end just to get ready.

4) Ditto for makeup. Don’t cake it on. Highlight your best feature – either your eyes or your lips. Fake the cheekbones but don’t make your foundation look like pancake mix. Know that titanium anything in your makeup will result in your skin looking like Vampira’s the moment the camera flash goes off – unless that’s what you’re aiming for of course. Makeup should be simple and relatively quick and easy. Save the fancy stuff for the costume parties.

5) Waxing etc. Actually that’s up to you. Some girls don’t because they don’t believe they should have to. It’s a personal decision. Just think of where you are going and whether you will be showing off your legs and whether it will be noticeable and if people will be freaked out or not. If you are at work, I would definitely recommend waxing. If you really don’t want to, wear pants and don’t worry about the opposite sex. There are guys who don’t care because they think you’re a classy lady anyway.

Attitude 1) Be aware. Nothing is classier than a woman who is aware of what’s going on, who knows what’s happening and therefore is better poised to know what to do. You are lucky enough to be one of that small minority of women globally who are educated or at the very least get a chance to be so don’t waste it by trying to mimic Paris Hilton. Learn something. Beauty fades and intelligence lasts forever and the last thing you need is a man who only sees what you look like because the moment someone else comes along, he won’t be in your bed anymore.

2) Give a damn. A classy woman is not a snob. A classy woman has principles and she cares about things and that’s what draws the people towards her like moths to a flame. They love the fact that she cares. She is polite but she demands the very basic level of respect.

3) She’s confident too. Ok, you might have to fake this one till you have it. Whenever you are in a social situation, your biggest competition is not the prettiest girl in the room or the woman wearing the least amount of clothing, it’s the woman that is the most confident.

She knows where she is, she’s dressed appropriately and if a guy could get anywhere with her, well he’d feel great because she doesn’t let just anyone get to second base. She’s also confident because whatever happens, she’s prepared for it.

A classy woman is practical too. It’s not all high heels and pencil skirts. If there is something in front of her that needs to be done, then she will do it. She might not necessarily be in the right outfit for it if it is some emergency but if she could, she would be because it would be appropriate. She’s like a Boy Scout: always prepared. Always willing to help, even if she cannot stand the person she is helping.

Short Fiction

12

- Jasmine Reilly The kids run around. I sit on the veranda, silent. The adults smoke and drink, grabbing chips from the plastic bowl on the old, weathered table. My mum is sitting across from me with legs and arms crossed, as if this will protect her from their words. She’s nodding and her earrings jangle as her hair flicks across her shoulders.

My dad earns too much for their liking. He is all pretense and politeness when we see them, even though he knows that we are the outsiders. I smile easily at my favourite uncle. He’s not like the others. He used to live with us. In a kind of sad way, I think he’s more fatherly towards me than to his own kids. He doesn’t treat us like the rest of the family does.

‘You don’t need to do that’. Grandma is saying simply what she has to say and not what she means so I start doing them anyway. She walks back outside, can’t miss out on anything good. My cousins - cheap, plastic - walk into the kitchen to grab one for the road. I glance at them, still getting surprised by how little they’re wearing.

‘How are you? It’s been so long,’ they ask, moving on before I can answer. Jade’s more ‘blessed’ by their attention, but still too classy for them. They don’t want to hang out with somebody who won’t get high or talk about their sexual conquests.

I get up and wander into the small house. My sister, Jade, is inside, playing with our youngest cousin, Talisha. The little fairy princess, always dirty because her mother doesn’t seem to give a fuck. Her hair is cut short roughly with a hair band chucked on as an afterthought, whether by the mother or the child herself, I can’t tell.

The door slams shut behind them. I hear their heels on the driveway and from the kitchen sink, I see the two of them jump into a car. A Holden Commodore, driven by a guy who knows he will get laid by the trailer trash he’s picking up. Dishes done, I open the faded white fridge and grab a can of Coke. I walk back outside. They are stuck in their cycles: bad lifestyles and bad attitudes passed down from parent to child. I sit down and try to be somewhere else, anywhere else. I am surprised when their drunken attention turns on me.

I smile. Jade looks up and smiles, lifting Talisha.

Passing them, I walk down the hall towards my grandma’s bedroom. I walk into the room, shut the door and sit down on the bed. Damn it. I could be elsewhere. This bullshit facade gets to me. I only come to these things because I can’t let mum face them alone. She needs backup to defend herself against her own family. Taking a deep breath, I get up and walk to the bathroom, splashing some water onto my face. It doesn’t make me feel any better.

‘You’re studying at uni huh? What is that gonna get ya?’ my other uncle asks. ‘I hope to write someday.’ ‘Oh, write,’. Eyebrows rise ‘That’s very... intellectual.’

‘Yeah, she’s gonna write one of those stuffy books she reads,’ his wife adds. Sniggers spread around the table.

Feral speak and talk. They laugh too hard and smile too quickly. Nails dig into my skin. They ‘dissed’ me and moved on, just one small form of entertainment amongst others for the night.

I would do anything for my mum. I see the way they hurt her. It’s evident in her body language, despite the soothing lies that she tells me. She loves them, but they break her heart, which breaks mine. But I can’t stop them without hurting mum further. She dislikes confrontation, just like dad. It’s like they deliberately find ways to make her feel worthless. It’s their way of getting back at my parents. My parents seem to have the perfect relationship, perfect children and perfect life, they are hated for it.

Back to drunken nothingness. Time passes too slowly.

My mum looks at me for the hundredth time. She wants to go--so do I. I yawn. She stands up. I follow. ‘We should go hun,’ she says to my dad, ‘The girls have school tomorrow, and they’re clearly tired.’ Dad nods and stands up.

Thank God. It’s time to leave. Jade is chased down, still playing with the kids--the only one who doesn’t want to go.

Is this what family is supposed to be like? On one hand, I have an enviable immediate family. Supportive parents and a brother and sister whom I get along with. On the other hand, I have a fucked up extended family that seem to work as a team against us. Like the well trained child I am, I offer to wash the dishes.

They don’t even bother getting up, the people who call themselves my relations. They lie for fun and empty words of love flow; my favourite uncle, the only one who gives an honest hug. ‘I know you can do it,’ he whispers into my ear. As we drive away, I decide. I’m going to prove to them that I’m worthy. That I can be successful and famous. That ‘my stuffy reading’ will be put to good use. I realise that’s exactly what they are afraid of.

30

There‘s safety in numbers.

6304 3333 If you’re feeling even the slightest bit unsafe, don’t hesitate to call security.

ECU’s qualified and professional security officers are there for all staff and students during the evenings, �eekends and public holidays. They �ill happily escort you to your car or any�here on campus. �ll you need to do is ask.

You can also contact them via ECU’s many Emergency phones. Just lift the handset or press the call button and �ait for a response.

Security �ill respond to all alarms and emergencies and perform first aid �hen necessary.

Security officers are on campus 24/7 at Mount La�ley and Joondalup.

On the South �est campus, they’re available 7am - 11pm Monday to Thursday, 7am - 10pm on Friday and 8am - 9pm Saturday and Sunday.

Outside those hours a local security contractor �ill respond to all calls.

Remember, security staff are there for you anytime you need it.

Just call 6304 3333.

303 ECU5912

CRICOS IPC 00279B

13

Luping Computer Security

Marisa Comm. Masters

Anne Mark. & Creative Services Natassia Creative Industries

16

Nerd Quiz Q1. The Internet is... a. A large network made up of collections of sub-networks b. For porn c. A government conspiracy hell-bent on stealing our image macros d. The consequence of Steven Hawking attempting to have sex with a modem Q2. The Big Bang Theory is... a. A sitcom about four nerds by Chuck Greene and starring Johnny Galecki, Jim Parsons, Simon Helberg and Kunal Nayyar b. A group of four teenage boys plan to get laid before prom c. A modern theory concerning the origin of the universe d. The theory that if one were to create an orgy larger than 26 people, a second Sweden off the coast of Brazil Q3. The symbiote that infected Spiderman later spawned and its offspring infected the psychopath Cletus Kassady who became who? a. Venom b. Carnage c. Toxin d. A 6’4’ hunk of pure man meat *growl* Q4. What consists of the majority of all Dragon Ball Z episodes? a. Waiting for action, or really, anything to happen b. Subtle, symbolic furry porn c. Screaming, screaming and more screaming d. Subliminal messaging instructing watchers to go buy “Uncle Jalapeno’s Peruvian Deathpepper Sauce” Q5. What are the three Deathly Hallows? a. Nagini, Tom Riddle’s journal and Slytherin’s locket b. The Elder Wand, Resurrection Stone and Death’s Invisibility Cloak c. Harry, Hermione and Ron d. The Hogwarts bobsled team Q6. Which of these Milla Jovovich films does she not get naked in? a. Resident Evil: Apocalypse b. The Fifth Element c. Ultraviolet d. Curious George goes to the Beach Q7. You ran all this way, fought some weird-arse mushrooms and turtles, battled a huge dinosaur-dragon thing and this little punk-arse toad-fairy says: a. “Dude, I swear the princess was just here, no joke” b. “I’ve seen her naked man... Not worth it” c. Nothing, he’s a fungus, idiot d. “The princess is in another castle” FUUUUUUQ8. What is the most successful method to deal with an alleged rapist? a. Tell them they’ve done goofed and backtrace them b. Threaten that you’ll find him with his t-shirts and fingerprints and telling him he’s really dumb. For real. c. Entice them over with Rum and Sunny D

d. Informing them they’ve lost the game Q9. What could this chemical symbol denote?

C21H30O3 a. Pot, man, weeeeed b. Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! c. My bank balance. Oh yeeeah d. The 12th Century Slovenian Royal family, the Balkalvachitz, most famous for their annual tradition of ‘The Running of the Gypsies’. Very popular with the locals Q10. Deadpool is often considered a copy of which DC character? a. Deathstrike b. Deathstroke c. Critical condition bath tub d. Deadpool? Wasn’t he, like, that guy who had, like, no mouth and was, like, a robot or something?

Q11. Sexual symbolism, tight and small clothing and revealing positions are often referred to as what? a. Standard procedure b. Time to lock the door and break out the tissues c. Fan service d. The perfect way to get a girl ‘in the mood’ Q12. In the extended Lord of the Rings films, Treebeard has the line “Away with you! You should not be waking.

Eat earth, dig deep, drink water, go to sleep. Away with you”. In the books who originally has this line? a. Treebeard b. Gandalf – when questioned on why he didn’t appear sooner after he came back to life c. Tom Bombadil d. It’s actually a quote from the book “The Ten Steps to Success: How I Became a Confident Millionaire and Now You Can Too!” by Fernando Merikguildstein Answers Q1: Correct Answer: A Although B is quite acceptable

Q7: Correct Answer: D Though extra points if you’ve picked up on C. Seriously guys.

Q2: Correct Answer: C Dude this is a science question. PAY ATTENTION! Q3: Correct Answer: B D was a trick question. No way is Carnage 6’4’

Q8: Correct Answer: None!

Did you seriously think one of those was correct?

Q9: Correct Answer: A Seriously, thats a possible symbol for THC, the main chemical in marijuana.

Go look it up on Wikipedia!

Q4: Correct Answer: A and C Although B is possible if you’ve recently had any of ‘Uncle Jalapeno’s Peruvian Deathpepper Sauce”

Q10: Correct Answer: A Tis true, but they both still have their differences. The main one being sanity.

Q5: Correct Answer: B Also if this is a spoiler. DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A CRAP.

Q11: Correct Answer: C But B is still correct, really, we all know you do it too.

Q6: Correct Answer: All of them!

Although you only see blurred boobs and a bandage outfit in the Fifth Element >:(

Q12: Correct Answer: C Fernando still insisted it was copyright infringement though and sued.

Till he discovered Tolkien published his work 40 years before him.

17

Generation - Y

Generation Y is the impatient generation.

We do not believe in waiting, and if we are not happy with our bosses, we do not hesitate to find a new job. We live through our technology with iPhones making it easier for us to share our thoughts instantly via Facebook or Twitter. We are said to be the future of business, but we are also said to be Generation ME. So, who is Gen Y? Well, those who were born between the mid 1980s and the early 2000s are Generation Y. We are the ones who flood universities, schools and customer service jobs. We are the generation that the older ones chose to criticise. We are all of these things and more, but does this make us classy?

What makes a person classy you may ask?

Urban Dictionary chooses to define classy as ‘an adjective meaning 1) very stylish and elegant; 2) not crude or disgusting or dirty or depressing; 3) a deeper, more meaningful word for “cool”.’ Further down the page, it informs us that classy people never say that they are classy while Michael Carlin states that ‘Generosity, serving others and powerful speech makes any person classy’.

So how many of you reading this think you are classy? With a generation whose label implies that we are selfish, how can any of us be classy?

Look around at the people who are Gen Y. At work places, universities, schools, clubs and shopping centres, I do not see classy people.

Unfortunately, I just see people who are selfish, obnoxious and oblivious to others. I see people who drink too much and wear too little. I see people who won’t keep a job for more than a year, and people who chose to make crude, offensive, sexist and racist jokes. I see people who are looking for their next hit or their next lay, and people who are extremely shallow.

Fortunately for us, I also see (the very rare) classy person. These people are the ones you want to know and be associated with. No matter how many ratty, crude or plain tacky people there may be in our generation (hey, I am probably one of them).

Fortunately for us, I also see (the very rare) classy person. These people are the ones you want to know and be associated with. No matter how many ratty, crude or plain tacky people there may be in our generation (hey, I am probably one of them) you will always be able to find somebody with class.

Urban Dictionary is right: a classy person doesn’t know they are classy, nor does money make them classy. We all know one person who is classy - for me, I know her through uni.

This girl is beautiful and dresses both stylishly and elegantly (you certainly would never see her underwear, no matter HOW drunk she got). She has a smile and a hug for everybody, and is interested in everybody she meets. She is generous in the fact, that if you ever need a person to talk to, she will be there. She is genuine, and restores my faith in our generation. Luckily, she is not alone out there.

So how do people become classy? I would like to say that as you get older, you become classier, but this is not true. I see people in Generation X and the Baby Boomers who are even tackier than those of Generation Y. Classiness is not something you can learn, it is something you have. You may refine yourself, dressing nicer and being kinder, but you will not have the air of classiness. A classy person is nice and genuine. Classiness is simply who you are.

Generation Y has been brought up with technology.

We are desensitised towards the feelings of others, with interactions occurring more and more often on the internet rather than face-to-face. We care about ourselves first and foremost. Friendships are easily gained and easily lost. We have been brought up in an era where we get exactly what we want when we want it. Classiness does not go hand-in-hand with Gen Y. Classiness is rare, no matter what age.

18

Sex, Drugs and Cello!

Guitar Guitar is a sexy instrument and we all know it.

The problem with the guitar is that everyone in the world plays guitar and there is a lot of competition. You will be at a party, wooing some hot little thang with the skilful manner in which you switch from an A chord to an E chord. Then some jerk will spring into the conversation, cunningly extricate the guitar and start absently noodling around all Steve Vai-like. You could get lessons to improve your standings, but of course it’s more intriguing to say shyly, “Oh, I sorta taught myself.” So your best bet is to join a band. Guitarists in bands are the sexiest people on earth, even the crap ones.

Bass Unlike guitar, your skills are irrelevant if you are a bassist, you just need to be in a band. If you are handsome, they don’t even need to be a good band.

If you are in a good band, though, you may get frustrated because the guitarists will get the most alluring fans. If you are a lady, unnerving dudes will inevitably stalk you and think they’re clever for making snide digs about “token female bassists,” even if you’re in an all-female band. Please do not give them a “token laugh.”

Drums Drummers get a bad rap and to be fair, many of them really are indecently stupid. Not all though, and you can use this to your advantage. Try to learn a couple of facts about a couple of things and suddenly you will take on a Yoda-like wisdom amongst your musical companions and indeed to the world at large, and heaven knows that the babes love Yoda. Don’t be seen getting too much affection, though, or you will be kicked out of the band (this goes for bassists, too). If you are a female drummer, stupid people will assume you are promiscuous. Actually, they do this to male drummers too.

Various DJ-ing accoutrements Depends on the type of DJ; depends on the type of person. I would not necessarily be opposed to a Beastie Boy but Armin van Buuren doesn’t really oil my engines, as it were. A master of the decks is more appealing than a laptop prince, but the good thing about a laptop is that you can just press “play” and watch the (inevitably clinically braindead) babes roll in. If you are not choosy but enjoy amphetamine-fuelled shags, this is the “musician” you want to be.

So, you have decided to become an instrumentalist? Congratulations on your decision to become pro-active in attracting a mate!

Unless you are actually interested in selfimprovement, of course, which is good too (if unlikely).

Oboe What could be sexier than an oboist? Here are some suggestions: a man in neon yellow cycling shorts, an embroidery thread manufacturer, an Oscar statuette, the manic dictator of a small and deeply impoverished nation, Leo Sayer.

Flute I played flute for ten years or so, but I don’t really feel obliged to defend it. I suppose the flute has its appeal if you take off your shoes, stick a flower behind your ear and seamlessly drop Astor Piazzola’s Un histoire de tango, but it’s hard to feel too foxy the rest of the time knowing you’re the shrillest part of the whole orchestra. You may think I am overlooking a certain teen sex romp film here, but I deliberately chose not to mention it because (a) it was never really funny, unless you were 14 at the time and (b) we’re all adults here.

Piano The piano is the love drug of people who are sort of geeky, but infinitely fun-loving and kind. Imagine the typical crowd at any of the following gigs: Ben Folds, The Hold Steady, Trent Reznor, Andrew W.K, (Come to think of it, I probably wouldn’t describe most Reznor fans as “infinitely fun-loving”.) Amanda Palmer isn’t everyone’s bag, but Neil Gaiman sure likes her! The piano is historically sexy, too: Franz Liszt was an insane pianist and a total rock god, but then who’s going to know that except bookish people? Moral of this story: hot dorks like pianos.

Cello Where the good-time geeks love to flock around a piano, the cello is largely reserved for fully-blown moody intellectuals – although C-grade Sylvia Plath wannabes will also profess to finding it “a very erotic instrument” or some such nonsense. Identifying the difference between a real life Byronic hunk/hunkette and an uncharismatic Moaning Myrtle can be a real challenge, but if you are up for the challenge then cello is the instrument for you. (Note: If you are a dude who plays the cello, it is good to have floppy hair; it will look nice when you bend over the strings.)

19

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn’t exist”

As a historian, I find that students are happy to talk about ‘class’ when examining the past. Ancient civilisations, with emperors, noblemen, citizens and slaves; medieval kingdoms with monarchs, knights, clerics and peasants; it seems to make sense that in the past societies were based on classes.

Even in the industrial era, when the writings of Karl Marx and Frederick Engels cried – ‘Workers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your chains’ – we can easily identify the downtrodden industrial masses as a separate stratum to the bourgeois factoryowners and financiers. Today, however, people seem pretty convinced that there is no such thing as ‘class’ anymore.

‘But we’re all Middle Class now’. Hurrah! Modernity and the Information Age have eliminated social distinctions and brought about Marx’s sought-after classless society! Perhaps not. Let’s start with a simple thought experiment: You, Bill Gates. You. Bill Gates. Think about it. QED. “But I can be as rich as Bill Gates, if I do the right things…” Sure you can.

Good luck with that. No, I mean it. That’s called class mobility. In our modern Western society some people can shift between classes. But statistically, there can only be a certain number of Bill Gates. That could be you, but it can’t be all of us…

And to be Bill Gates you would of course have to act in certain ways, and make certain decisions. You would have to conform to the necessary requirements for making vast amounts of money, almost as if you were operating within some kind of system. A ‘class’ system.

It doesn’t matter if it is you or Bill Gates as Chairman of a generic company, the scope of rational decisions you can make in order to maximise your business is defined by you and your company’s existence within an economic structure – capitalism – with all the rules and patterns that it follows.

Ok, sure, there’s Bill Gates; and Rupert Murdoch; and Donald Trump; and Carlos Slim Helú (never heard of him? 2010’s richest man in the world – worth $60 billion), and a few other offensively-rich individuals who circle the globe pulling strings, but , surely, we have a pretty classless society these days? Well, if you look about and think that’s the case, the reason may be that you yourself are part of a global elite.

Let’s look at some statistics. The world’s population today is around 6.9 billion people. Now the poorest 50% of global citizens (3.45 billion people) own 1% of global wealth. 1%. I can guarantee that you aren’t in that half of the population – even if it feels a bit like it as pay-day approaches. Most of those people are peasants. They’re poorer than the guys working in the sweat-shops to make your sneakers.

But perhaps they enjoy the simple life? Well, let’s see…the poorest 20% of global population suffer from 80% of all civil wars. And upwards of 95% of all deaths related to Malaria, AIDS, Tuberculosis, and problems with pregnancy, occur in the developing world. So, I think they are aware that affluence has its benefits.

On the other side of things, the richest 2% of the world’s population owns 50% of global wealth. That’s around 140 million people worldwide - approximately the population of Japan.

You aren’t classified in that group either. On the global scale of things there definitely seems to be a class-like structure emerging through the mists of analysis - but what about in our own society? Well in most Western countries the top 20% of people control around 85% of the wealth (with most of that owned by the top 10%). That leaves the rest of us – the lower 80% – with around 15% of national wealth. And between 10-20% of people in most Western countries are classified as living in poverty.

The statistics paint a pretty clear picture of a world in which wealth distribution is enormously warped and concentrated in a tiny section of the population. But affluence is just an indicator of class. Class is not how much you own – it is a relationship. The relationship between the medieval lord and his vassal was that the lord owned the land and the peasant worked it for him. At the end of the day, the peasant gave most of the produce to the lord, keeping only a fraction for himself. That is you and your boss. And these days that produce is called profit. We live in an increasingly complex world, but some fundamentals have not changed.

- Doctor David Robinson (History)

ARTS Performance Ruby Moon The mysterious story of a disappearance that is so close to reality it’s rather haunting. Follow the journey of Ruby Moon’s parents as they venture down Flaming Grove, in search of an answer to their young daughter’s disappearance. Almost like a modern Little Red Riding Hood.

For more info call 1300 31 41 51 or head to http://www.deckchairtheatre.com.au/ Where: Victoria Hall,179 High St When: Oct 19th – Oct 30th 2010 Exhibitions Shimurabros: Sekilala PICA presents the first Australian showing of work by Japanese artistic duo, Yuka and Kentaro Shimura. Working under the name ‘Shimurabros’, the duo are well know throughout Japan and Asia for their creative approach to motion picture.

Where: PICA, Perth Cultural Centre, Perth.

When: Runs to Sunday, Oct24.

20

What’s On? Home Open: Fremantle Artists and their Collections Hosted by the Fremantle Arts Centre, ‘Home Open’ is a wonderful exhibition that shares the stories of 30 influential Fremantle artists, and how they have each created their own home environments.

Where: Fremantle Arts Centre, 1 Finnerty St Fremantle When: Nov 27 ‘10 – Jan 23 ‘11 Nicely Toasted Described as a collection of ‘girls, gangsters and evil clowns’, Paul Deej Donnachie presents his first solo exhibition ‘Nicely Toasted’ at ABD, The Gallery, this October.

Where: ABD The Gallery, 240 Lake Street, Northbridge.

When: Runs till 23rd Oct 2010

Entertainment The Wanneroo Show Celebrating over 100 years, the 2010 Wanneroo Show includes live music, rides, competitions, entertainers, exhibitions, sideshows, races, displays, food and many other activities for a whole range of age groups. Perfect for a summer’s day out.

Where: Wanneroo Showground, Cnr Wanneroo Rd and Ariti Ave. When: Frid 26th and Sat 27th Nov

Spring in the Valley Spring in the Valley celebrates its 21st anniversary with a wide range of festivities running throughout the month of October.

With live music, local produce and great entertainment, experience all that the beautiful Swan Valley has to offer.

For more info head to http://www. springinthevalley2010.com.au/ Where: Swan Valley When: Runs till Oct 31st 2010

PERTH FASHION FESTIVAL It’s hard to believe that the 2010 Perth Fashion Festival has already been and gone. The seven-day event took place from the 9th to the 15th of September and was a spectacular celebration of Western Australia’s fashion talent. In its twelfth year, the festival produced an impressive program consisting of runway shows, fashion exhibitions, pop up shops, inspirational talks by industry insiders and styling workshops.

Showcasing over 100 WA designers and 100 models, this year’s festival has demonstrated the growing strength of WA’s fashion industry and it’s significant contribution to Australian fashion.

Atmosphere If you were lucky enough and found some time to get into Freo for the Atmosphere exhibition, you would not have been disappointed. Held in Victoria Hall, different fashion and textile designers were invited to create pieces that showcased themselves as innovative artists, rather than unique fashion designers. With the beautiful Victoria Hall as a backdrop for their installations, the exhibition was truly a visual success. Designers of these wares were Fremantle based and included; Chinky Wooster, Ashe, Cocoon Textiles, Leah Tarlo, Loop, Love In Tokyo, Megan Salmon, She Seldom Blushes, Totomoto, Kartique and Batchelor,

Each installation was a masterpiece of creativity and provided a symbolic portrayal of the artist. Fern Vallesi, the owner of vintage store ‘She Seldom Blushes’, created my favourite piece from the exhibition. I fell in love with her display and the warm, retro tones represented in her creation.

Student Runway I had been anticipating the student runway show ever since I had seen the program for this year’s festival. As much as I love the other shows, student runway is a show that just screams excitement and surprise. This year 60 students showed off designs that marveled as well as shocked. The students, from different universities and fashion programs were able to display their ideas on the catwalk, many doing so for the first time. The result was an explosion of creativity that demonstrated the high level of our homegrown design talent.

The collections for Student Runway were divided into five separate categories. These include, Women’s Ready to Wear, Men’s Ready to Wear, Eco Design, Contemporary Evening wear and Costume Couture. The different categories allowed students to design pieces that epitomised their creativity and adhered to their design aesthetic. The result was an insane collection of garments that didn’t need to conform to commercial standards.

e s t s e s g y n

e r, g d y n m

Ellie Meyer - Student Runway

ARTS

The night was kicked off with a showcasing of designs from three talented young designers, Ellie Meyer, Jane Kelsey and Andrea Wolf. Each sent their own designs down the catwalk, having spent the last six months working on their collections in a small studio space called ‘The Carton’ in Carillion City.

It is safe to say, after viewing the girls collections that black is definitely back. Each of their collections were similar in colour palette, with black seeming to be the key element in each of their designs.

Ellie Meyer confirmed her status as ‘one to watch’ through her dark structured pieces that were reminiscent of both the gothic and sci-fi genres. Jane Kelsey amazed with her wellconstructed dresses and unbelievable menswear designs that have left even me wanting to wear men’s pants all day, everyday. Andrea Wolf’s tailored shirts and amazing use of drapery only cemented her position as an emerging design talent of WA.

Andrea Wolf - Student Runway

Definitely keep an eye out for these girls, all of whom have a promising future ahead of them.

Jane Kelsey - Student Runway

d i, d h r

21

Following on, students continued to impress the audience with their imagination and sheer talent with their designs.

It is fair to say that all of the garments were exceptional, however standouts from the evening included Kasio Kolikow’s sculptured dress, Jamiee Millar’s amazing lace construction, Celine Bridge’s wolf inspired creation, Jeromy Lim’s meswear design and Alissa Gomez’s patchwork dress.

Up was the final runway show for the 2010 Perth Fashion Festival, and it certainly did not disappoint. Featuring collections from up and coming designers, Up was destined to be a show that stunned. The show was divided into three categories, each representing WA designers at different stages in their careers. The categories included; Up Up and Away, featuring Joveeba, Upwards and Onwards, featuring Paper Skye and Up and Coming, featuring Jaime Lee. .

Local label Joveeba was a vision of relaxed sophistication, while Paper Skye was an angelic show that just exuded beauty and serenity.

The real wow factor of the night however, had to be Jaime Lee. Debuting her first ever collection, ‘Out of Focus’, the catwalk was transformed into another dimension as models resembled pink aliens and stormed down the runway in an explosion of colourful and mind-blowing designs.

Jaime Lee’s eccentric collection was welcomed with enthusiasm from the audience, as each individual got caught up in the excitement and craziness of the show. Definitely not a show to be easily forgotten, Jaime Lee has showcased an impressive first collection that is sure to be followed by many, many more.

WA Fashion Awards The Mercedes-Benz WA Fashion Awards took place on Wednesday September 15 at the Burswood Grand Ballroom and marked the end of the 2010 Perth Fashion Festival. The night proved to be as spectacular as anticipated, with WA’s most notable designers, models, stylists and emerging fashion talents competing to take home the prestigious fashion awards

.

- Claire McManus

Love the arts? Become a book reviewer for GS Magzine in 2011. Contact arts.editor.gsm@gmail.com for more info!

BOOKS

22 The theme this month is ‘class’. I am not going to put myself in that category, but The Book Thief, by Australian author Markus Zusak is in there. The Book Thief is the tale of a girl in Nazi Germany. At first I didn’t want to pick this up. My whole family is German, I don’t want to read more about the horror that occurred there. Seriously, I’ve heard enough from the kids at school. But I was optimistic when I read the blurb.

The story is told from the perspective of Death, who tries to convince himself that humans are worth having around. Through Death’s eyes, we follow the story of a girl and her foster parents, as she grows up and becomes a stealer of books that she picks up at random occasions - her brother’s funeral, for instance. I thought I was a fairly stoic kind of person, not given to intense emotion, but from the beginning, The Book Thief had me by the guts. I can’t say enough for the book, it has won numerous awards and been on the best seller list for 100 weeks for a reason.

The Book Thief Markus Zusak

I didn’t put it down until finished, 8 hours later. And was I classy when I put it down? Oh yeah. There was a literal pool of tears and snot collected by the tissues and pillow. This is one of the rare books that I can recommend to everyone; the language and detail is used beautifully, and if it does not provoke some response in the reader, then perhaps you have more in common with Death than you’d like.

4.5/5 Jessica Yvonne

If you were hoping to read a well written book, I would not suggest Changing Lifestyles by Barbara Ashton. It opens up in the time of World War II and we are taken along a story of a young girl who dreams to be more than simply a farmer’s wife and mother. It is important to remember that in that time, women were not very independent.

Changing Lifestyles has a rather interesting story, I’ll give it that. It is a good insight to the changing attitudes towards working women. Despite the interesting story, I found it hard to read. The dialogue was not believable. It often seemed scripted, very formal and unbelievable. Personally, I do not think that farmers in general would be saying things like “I feel that you love my daughter and if you promise to take good care of her now and always I give my permission. And, please, call me Bob, as we will soon be family.”

If this was the only problem, the interesting story would prevail. But alas, it was not. The paragraphs were disjointed, subject changes and time changes happened with not real indication. The author chooses to tell the reader what happens rather than show. The paragraphs appeared to be a random mass of things that the author believed she ought to tell us, so threw onto the page.

Changing Lifestyles Barbara Ashton

Although the story was interesting and proves that women can be independent, I do not believe it is worthwhile to the money nor the time to read.

1.5/5 Jasmine Reilly

Graceling is Kristian Cashore’s debut book based in a world with seven kingdoms. The story follows a teenage girl, Katsa, who is graced with the ability to kill with her bare hands. A grace is the enhanced ability to do a certain task. No grace is the same, varying from cooking, riding, swimming, farming, singing, counting backwards and so on.

Gracelings are evident by their eyes; each one being a different colour. The graced are shunned by the people.

I highly recommend reading this book. It is an easy read, but it does not vary greatly from the traditional fantasy plotline of following the path to adulthood.

Katsa is the niece of King Randa. He has named her his Lady Killer and uses her to torture anyone who get in his way.

We are taken on a journey of self discovery and independence, as Katsa learns to defy her manipulative uncle and to stand up for what is right. Without giving too much away, love plays an important role in the second half of the book.

Graceling is filled with characters that are well developed and believable. They are portrayed with much depth and thoughtfulness, making the book pleasant and unchallenging. The characters are found within a medieval world where the use ofhand-to-hand combat is common.

The book ends with a small twist, but is still satisfyingly pleasant (although with a dark undertone). Graceling can (and should) be read more than once. After reading Graceling, you will want to read its prequel, Fire, which is just as good.

4/5 Jasmine Reilly

Graceling Kristian Cashore

23

BOOKS

We’re introduced to Rick Dunlop, a former cop, kicked out of the Victoria Police Department and currently suffering a nervous breakdown. He’s thrown himself on the mercy of another former cop, Jeff, who runs a detective agency in Melbourne.

In the first part of the book, it’s unclear whether Davey is writing in a sneaky twist on us. Yes, Jeff is a detective, but is he the detective in this book? In other words, is Jeff the sidekick or is it Rick, through whose eyes we see everything happen? Who’s playing Watson to the other person’s Holmes? Quite often, Jeff is the one that solves the case.

I think Davey is trying to make a point here: that the usual structure of the mystery, detective or crime fiction novel can, and should, be changed.

That Rick is the protagonist is clear – he’s the one you can see gradually change throughout the different cases. It’s quite clear that he has flaws - that’s what makes him human and approachable. Despite his experience as a cop, or perhaps because of it, he’s uncomfortable with pushing further if frustrated by something and has developed a unhealthy disregard for the law and Jeff even dresses him down for being racist, which to his credit, he tries to get over.

Though you might not have expected it, being a detective seems to be the best cure for his breakdown. By the end of the book, you can see Rick recover some of his self confidence and generally seem to have a better outlook on life though he is still exceptionally cynical.

Rick Dunlop Cases R. M. Davey

4.5/5 Marisa Wikramanayake Christmas has come early this year. First a Pratchett and now a new Phryne Fisher detective novel from Greenwood. For those in the dark, Phryne Fisher is a flapper. In Melbourne. In the 1920s. And she’s a detective. She drives, flies, is very handy with a pistol and occasionally stops for gaspers, cocktails and dalliances with whomsoever she pleases.

In between she somehow manages to look drop dead gorgeous and solve a few crimes.

As a fan, it’s a vicarious thrill to get your hands on a Fisher novel and this one is no different. Queenscliff has beckoned and the entire Fisher household has headed off for a holiday, except that Fisher walks straight into another case. There is a phantom terrorising the young girls of Queenscliff, not to mention the discovery on arrival that the household staff and furniture have disappeared. Then there are the Surrealists living next door.

The focus is more on Fisher’s adopted daughters, Ruth and Jane, with Jane daydreaming amongst anthropological specimens and Ruth indulging her love for food. As a result, it proceeds at a slow pace but is no less enjoyable. Greenwood has done her usual PhD thesis equivalent research for this novel, referencing buildings that existed in 1928, local folklore and current events and even the lifestyle of the Queenscliff fishermen. If you’re new to the series, read the first one, Cocaine Blues, so you can keep track of everyone.

Dead Man’s Chest Kerry Greenwood

4.5/5 Marisa Wikramanayake

This is a book about history. A book about sport. A book about the stories we tell ourselves every day and the stories we believe in what others tell us. Mostly, however, it’s a book about cricket and a boy who thought he could be the next big spin bowler for the Australian team.

Ron Elliott has done a great job with the history of the era between the two world wars.

The level of detail about cricket, the Great Depression, and the aftermath of World War I, does a great job of drawing you into the story.

It is hard however to stay there. At first, the storyline seems pretty straightforward: boy from the sticks makes it big. You pin Uncle Mike as someone who has less than David’s best interests at heart and who raises his expectations far beyond what can be reached.

If you read on, however, you find a new villain of the piece and Uncle Mike starts looking more like someone who is willing to do whatever it takes to get David to where he thinks he should be. Elliott, is trying to prove a point, setting up our expectations of character archetypes and then dashing them, as good writing should.

The action is viewed from David’s perspective but he doesn’t have full comprehension of what’s going on around him. It makes it hard to stay with the story but persevering and allowing yourself to get lost in the detail, does help. Eventually, you end up feeling like you have read something that has helped define what good writing should be. Spinner is great on storyline and detail but is not so good on keeping you involved.

Spinner Ron Elliot

3.5/5 Marisa Wikramanayake Love to read? Become a book reviewer for GS Magzine in 2011. Contact books.editor.gsm@gmail.com for more info!

FILM

24

It’s bitterly disappointing to know that Zac Efron turned down the lead role in Paramount’s remake of Footloose to appear in this corn-syrup sweet self-indulgence, plucked straight from the canvas of Thomas Kinkade. Efron’s rationale is that he needs to branch out from his Disney career and become a “serious” actor. The only thing worth pulling off in this entire movie was Efron’s (permanently) nipple-tented T-shirts.

In fact, if he’d just silently humped his way through the cast of this abysmal exercise in the exploitation of tweens and twinks, it would have been a markedly more serious and adult production than the dreary predicatable pap that was offered.

Sap has its place in cinema. Casablanca is the perfect example of a ‘Great Film’ that boils down to clichés wrapped in fairy floss. Unfortunately this movie pans to the lowest common denominators of the ‘chick flick’ genre. What could have been a light but enjoyable romp about the woods with Efron and his ghostly younger brother was instead like being repeatedly punched in the face with the knuckledusters of clumsy dialogue and formulaic plot development.

This is a lazy movie that takes advantage of people’s desire to see Zac Efron shirtless and sexing ghosts. But honestly GSM’s readers are the types who will have already decided whether or not to see this movie regardless of my review. Having said that if you are Zac-curious, I would highly recommend Me and Orson Welles which delivered everything Efron probably hoped for but failed to find in Charlie St. Cloud.

2.5/5 Tom Reynolds

Charlie St Cloud Burr Steers Zac Efron

‘You have the right to remain silent but I want to hear you SCREAM,’ hollers Samuel Jackson in one of the greatest send-ups/action scenes put on film since Hot Shots Part Deux. Result - sidesplitting. The Other Guys has a lot going for it: from skewering news headlines to arresting hilarity via nudges and shoves.

The Good: Will Ferrell has perfected his comedy of deadpan in the midst of/creating absurd situations. As the pencil pushing accountant (Ferrell), and deskbound beat cop (Wahlberg) they prove an exceptional, if not over the top team that you want to root for. The comedy sets are tight, and Mackay delivers a rollicking movie with wellexecuted action sets (surprising for a comedy). It was a parade of character actors who all had a role in making a great film. From the simmering personality of Ferrell to Wahlberg’s absurd arrested internal conflict.

The Bad: There is nothing new and it follows the standard buddy cop movie premise.

It gets a little stale when jokes are pushed instead of a plot.

The Other Guys Adam MacKay Ferell & Wahlberg

The Awesome: There is a montage that everyone who has ever raised a beer, wants his or her night to be. Plus the movie left you wanting more. What will their next case be?

Litmus Test: Would I watch again – In a heartbeat, in theatre too!

Would I buy on Blu-Ray/DVD – On the first day of sales.

4/5 Greg Junop The problem with reviewing a film like Black Swan is that it is so easy to tear the fragile relationship between expectation and reception. At the heart of this movie is the idea of the ambiguity of reality. We are slowly drawn into the discordant world of Nina (Natalie Portman) as she prepares for her lead role in the New York City Ballet. The pressure quickly escalates; the implied cruelty of her mother’s love, the sexual manipulation of Ballet Director Thomas and the unsettling interventions of Lily (Mila Kunis) trigger increasingly vivid psychotic episodes. Or so it seems.

The film was nominated for a Queer Lion Award at the Venice International Film Festival, a nomination made for best film with LGBT themes and Queer culture. I find this interesting because I initially read this film as having a fairly obvious anti-lesbian subtext: Woman is uptight and sexless. Woman has (lesbian) sexual experiences. Woman goes bat-shit crazy. I mean really, that’s the essential storyline here. And while Darren Aronofsky is normally held in high regard the plot development was at times tepid and predictable.

Black Swan Natalie Portman Mila Kunis

There are a lot of ‘oh-god-look-away’ moments in this film. These scenes, although mild compared to anything you will see on the nightly news, are unsettling and play into the atmosphere of anxiety and ambiguity. Nina is a woman literally coming. And talking of things you will want to see, there is some excellent choreography and delightful well constructed scenes heavy with symbolic story telling.

4/5 Tom Reynolds

Love films? Become a film reviewer for GS Magzine in 2011. Contact film.editor.gsm@gmail.com for more info!

25

GAMES

Arcanum Arcanum is a celebration of all things steampunk. Having moved away from Sierra games after exhausting the Kings Quest, Leisure Suit Larry, and Space Quest series, I missed this game when it first came out. The game allows you to pick and customise a character by race, profession, and weapon of choice: technology or magic? Pretty stock standard for any RPG (role playing game) really. But then there is a twist.

- Marisa Wikramanayake Your character can be good or evil. Who your character is and what they can do, affects the in game situations that they find themselves in. The quests you get in the game remain the same but the results can vary greatly and you don’t have to complete them all to gain experience and level up.

It sounds suspiciously like World of Warcraft (otherwise known as WoW), doesn’t it? That’s because the first World of Warcraft game was released in 1994 and Arcanum is probably Sierra’s answer to Blizzard’s offering. Does that make it any less awesome and fun to play? No, it does not.

For one thing, I don’t have to spend a lot on bandwidth or pay to play as you would have to with World of Warcraft.

The next awesome thing is that this game is funny.

That’s right, funny. There is an awesome sense of humour that makes itself obvious throughout the dialogue which is full of wit and puns. The very first things that make you laugh are the descriptions in the character creation screen when you are trying to choose a background history for your character. Then your virtual sidekick, Virgil, enters the picture and he keeps you laughing all the way through.

It is isometric and the graphics don’t wow you as much as World of Warcraft’s graphics do but the third thing is that this game is addictive. Very addictive. You can play it as a turn based game and want to go back and play it in real time mode. You will want to go back and play a different character and given all the different things you can customise (from the spells you know to the tech you are familiar with to the background history which does affect your stats), there seems to be no end to the kind of combinations you can come up with.

So what about the story? Well, your character is hailed by Virgil as the overall good guy (at the start even Virgil cannot remember who exactly you are supposed to be), right after you survive a horrific zeppelin crash (you have been shot down by Half-Ogres in planes). Snarky as ever (and I mean snarky as you can choose your own responses), you decide the best thing to do is go find Virgil’s superior and explain that you are just minding your own business and you have no idea why you are suddenly caught up in the middle of Arcanum’s little industrial revolution at the moment.

Except that you then realise that this prophecy is more of a big deal than previously thought because not one but three people soon try to kill you—all because you survived.

Something’s up, Virgil has no clue, his superior who could explain all this is missing and you are basically on the run and living on your wits. Mystery abounds. Who exactly are you (other than who you know yourself to be) and why the hell did a halfling on the zeppelin give you a strange ring?

It isn’t race against race, faction against faction or magic versus technology which it makes it even more intriguing because you don’t know who the bad guys are. And depending on how moral your character is, the bad guys or the people you are willing to deal with and how you deal with them will change. For me, this is a great alternative to World of Warcraft.

Maybe that’s because I don’t have to pay to play or worry about my bandwidth. Maybe that’s because having played a lot of DOS based adventure games, I prefer a good, intriguing story over pretty graphics so the lack of the WoW factor for graphics does not bother me.

Love games? Become a arts reviewer for GS Magzine in 2011. Contact arts.editor.gsm@gmail.com for more info!

26

Night Work Scissor Sisters The Scissor Sisters stagger about the electro-pop d-floor with a rainbow flag in one hand and a cassette in the other. The essential Scissor Sisters’ sound which became defined by their self-titled debut rises unevenly throughout their third album Night Work. The album continues to conjure the demons of glam-rock, particularly in tracks such as ‘Night Work’ and ‘Harder You Get’.

The general shift in pop towards the electronic is evident in ‘Harder You Get’, which comes across like a stripped back version of something that would have been done by Kylie in the mid naughties. Similarly ‘Something Like This’ utilises the same style that has been tagged by bands like Hot Chip and at a stretch possibly Datarock.

‘Fire With Fire’ is a standout track from the album; meanwhile Jake Shears continues to demonstrate his vocal adaptability across the album, rendering a performance with overtones of Elton. In a less serious tone ‘Any Which Way’ is as silly as it is camp, “I’m looking for a man who smells like cocoa butter and cash/ Take me anyway you like it.”

Underneath the glam-rock fun lurk some telling lyrics; “Dancing on the speakers, are you peaking with tweakers/ Bigger, tanner breeders on the scene/ The night don’t last forever, so get your shit together/ Open arms are never what they seem”.

The Scissor Sisters continue to produce their campy albums in the vein of the Bee Gees infused with the entendre and innuendo that brought them mainstream acclaim.

3.5/5 - Tom Reynolds

Restless Amy Meredith First Impressions: The 80s pop dance revival group harkens the vocals and catchy hooks of the Killers with flourishes of British band The Darkness.

I hate to use the old adage of the album hitting all the right notes, but Amy Meredith really does. From The Killer’s mixing talent of Mark Needham, it really shows through.

The soundscape, is more synthesized than I normally dig in my music, but it works, and it is deep and envelops you.

Their two-year-long effort paid off.

The debut album resonates with vocals that mix the melodious Brandon Flowers of the Killers, and glimpses of Justin Hawkins high reaching falsettos. It’s dancey, it’s fun, its’ commercial and it is catchy.

Really, check out some of the tracks like ‘Pornstar’. It is something to just sing along with and really crank on the stereo. While the album doesn’t break any new ground on its own, it remains a solid addition to any new music collection Recommendations Audiophiles – give it a spin paying careful notice to arrangements. It can fit neatly in any collection especially for those looking for an incredible soundscape, something you don’t often get in the maxed out over production of modern music Radio listeners – pay attention for ‘Pornstar’ to be a chart topper, and Faded White Dress to crack the Top Ten. 3/5 - Greg Junop

Business Casual Chromeo The cover illustration gives it away on the new CD Business Casual from Chromeo. It shows a photo of a girl in a miniskirt and seamed stockings standing at a photocopying machine, which sets the tone for the whole album.

Although the first track “has a good beat” and you might be tempted to dance to it, nearly every track after it sounds much the same — as if they have been produced by the photocopier on the cover. While the duo (who are unnamed on the album but Google shows them to be Canadians, Dave 1 and P.Thugg) certainly have good voices and clever arrangements, it seems a shame that the most rewarding aspect of this album is naming the influences.

They are unashamed in their worship of Electrofunk of the eighties but, unfortunately, they don’t bring anything new for the noughties. There’s Prince (without the sex), Stevie Wonder (without the genius), strings from the Bee Gees, Cher’s Believe, lots of Disco and just a little Stephen Hawking to help the party along. But don’t linger too long on the lyrics, mainly about being unable to communicate with women (since the only three pictures on the cover and inside are of a female from the waist down, this is hardly a surprise).

There is, however, one track that pleases — and that’s in French: J’ai Claqué La Porte and though that too is derivative of Françoise Hardy, it’s catchy and will help any students of French improve their accent and fluency. In a word: muzak.

1/5 - John Pratt

27

A Thousand Suns Lincoln Park

Release Me The Like

Pop Negro El Grincho

No if: - change scares you - LP is too mainstream for you (because you’re too cool to listen to mainstream stuff) - you’re homophobic (Chester)

Audiophiles – Must have for any collection, proving modern bands can still crank out classics, the jangling guitars and Pop Junkies – If you listen to Gaga, please try, but probably aren’t cultured enough for this

Pop Negro is infectious. It gets into your system and makes you want to get up and dance and the music continues to ring in your head long after you have stopped listening to it. Of course means that suddenly you find yourself dancing down the street to a beat that only you can hear in your head.

This is El Guincho’s Pablo DiazReixa’s second album. He wanted to create an entire new genre of music around two words he put together after glancing at a menu: ‘Pop Negro’.

Each of the resulting tracks is a layered combo of looped sound recordings, bits of synth, steel drums, samples and Diaz-Reixa’s Spanish vocals. Diaz-Reixa hails from the Canary Islands and this album feels like sandy beaches, blue water, deep fried octopi and something primal.

‘Bombay’ which, as Diaz-Reixa explains in the opening for his music video, is about the cosmos and our fascination with it. The video is a surrealistic trip to do with every primal emotion from anger to sexual desire, frustration to envy, to the desire to create and the desire to destroy. ‘Lycra Mistral’ is less intense than the other tracks and instead of ambushing you, entices you. ‘FM Tan Sexy’ is structurally more like a pop song while ‘Muerte Midi’ has a jerky rhythm.

It’s hard to compare El Guincho to anyone, because he has actually done it and created a new genre.

Get this album but be prepared to be infected.

3/5

4/5

3.5/5

- Greg Junop

- Marisa Wikramanayake

Linkin Park: misfit group, homogenous, little girly lead, with lots of followers. That’s how I saw them.

Listening to their new album, A Thousand Suns, that’s all changed.

The main theme of the album is war, materialism, accountability, love, and class exploitiation are all on there as well. Thankfully the album comes across less like a political rant, and more like an observation of the world since the beginning of the 20th century.

But how does it sound? You’ll swear Bono wrote ‘Burning in the Skies’ and ‘Iridescent’; bits of ‘Waiting for the End’ sound like pot songs; and ‘Blackout’ is probably the ugliest sounding song on the album, yet Chester is also here at his gayest. Oh, and excerpts of speeches, pianos, gun noises, Eastern music, robot icvoices, and acoustic sessions are all here as well.As much as it sounds a mess, it’s not. It works. Yes, this album is different to their past stuff. If you were a hardcore fan of LP’s past stuff, you may not like this album. But I think LP deserves kudos for trying something new, for being different, and for their willingness to produce something that not everyone will like.

Yes if: - you appreciate creativity - LP have served you well in the past (you owe it to them to give it a chance)

- Larry Fife

First Impressions – Nancy Sinatra meets Go-Go Dancing, terrific. Had to check what year it was.

A spectacular and haunting revival 1960’s girl pop that really couldn’t have transplanted itself into any other musical epoch than ours. Recorded in New York City, these lasses could have stepped out of Britain at the height of the British Invasion.

After slogging through several other CD’s, I found these four women from Los Angeles rings true, and echoes around in your head. I’ve listened to the album, watched the music videos, and heard their terrific cover of ‘Will you still love me.’

Hypnotic and intoxicating arrangements of vocals, lyrics, progressions flourishes of the almighty organ, the best part the yearning. Unlike other artists who sit comfortably within their range, The Like push their own vocals until it cracks on record, and honesty not heard in the era of auto tune and overproduced noise.

Great Tracks - ‘Walk of Shame’, ‘I Can See It In Your Eyes’, ‘Release Me’, ‘Fair Game’, ‘He’s Not A Boy,’ and hell the entire album is so good it will have you coming back for more and more.

Love music? Become a film reviewer for GS Magzine in 2011. Contact music.editor.gsm@gmail.com for more info!