GSM reviews politics culture stories
FREE Ed. 6 Vol. 2
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- Regular 4 Editorial 6 Contributor Profiles 8 Letter to the Editor & G-News - Articles 9 Wordlessly Scoring 10 Gender Bender 11 Mr Insult presents: F.U.C.K. 12 Videostalgia 13 Gay Marriage 14 Science is Godless
GSM is made possible by your financial support of ECU Student Guild. GSM is editorially independent.
- Photo Gallery 16 Giselle Natassia 17 Chanelle Percival 18 Wenjie Zheng 19 Katie Cameron 20 Caroline Day 21 Alisha Bee 22 Katie Cameron 23 Caroline Day 24 Katie Cameron 25 Julian Talijancich 26 Khatniss Dior 27 Khatniss Dior 28 Tom Reynolds 29 Julian Talijancich - Reviews 30 Art Reviews 31 Book Reviews 34 Film Review 36 Game Reviews 37 Music Reviews
Editor: Tom Reynolds editor.gsm@gmail.com GSM - ECU 2 Bradford Street Mount Lawley WA 6050 Cover: Giselle Natassia Design: Tom Reynolds Printed by Photos: pg 10 Darcy Jones, 28 Tom Reynolds, 16, Giselle Natassia, 17 Chanelle Percival, 18 Wenjie Zheng, 19, 22 & 24 Katie Cameron, 20 & 23 Caroline Day, 21 Alisha Bee, 25 & 29 Julian Talijancich, 26 & 27 Khatniss Dior Editing Team: Jasmine Reilly, Aldy Hendradjaja, Divya Jankee, Alysha Edwards, Jingjing Zhang, Bjorn Myran Arts: Divya Jankee arts.editor.gsm@gmail.com Books: Jasmine Reilly books.editor.gsm@gmail.com Film: Larry Fife film.editor.gsm@gmail.com Games: Ana Victoria Neves games.editor.gsm@gmail.com Music: Jess Gibss music.editor.gsm@gmail.com Advertising: Tom Reynolds (08) 9370 6609 communications@ecuguild.org.au
The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the Editor, ECU Student Guild or the Advertisers. The Editor reserves the right to make changes to material as required. GSM reserves the right to republish material. Contributors retain all other rights for resale and republication.
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To whom it may concern (you, the reader). GSM is a student publication. By definition we are inherently rowdy, crude, immature and unafraid to discuss the filth, the vulgarity and all the other fun things in life. If you’re going to be offended by curse words, by frank and interesting conversations about sex, about drug use, or politically incorrect videos on Youtube then this is not the publication for you. I suggest you renew your subscription to Gardening Australia. While we honestly welcome all students participating we make no apologies if we cause offense, upset, provocation, or contravene your beliefs and value. If you genuinely support free speech, value diversity of opinions, and celebrate the richness, humour and magic of the English language, as we do – then this is the price you must pay. There is virtue in our vices. We will never cater to the full spectrum of taste and interests of all students, and that was never our intention. We live in an age that provides publishing opportunities to every viewpoint and sensibility. Our ambition is only to provide a platform. The students who choose to participate will determine the tone and tastes of each edition. If we don’t cater to your interests, you can either get involved, or look elsewhere. If you don’t like what we say, don’t read us. If what we say offends or angers you, write a letter to the Editor. Happy first birthday, GSM! Let’s be honest, you were a stillborn Frankstein’s nightmare. So hideous in fact we stamped every single first edition with a giant “DRAFT” on the cover and ran black pen through the typos of 500 editions. We were mortified that people might confuse you for our legitimate offspring. Emaciated, pixelated, and mostly monochrome you were kept alive with significant implants via Pelican. Unable to nurture you on the dried teat of my own design skills you were wet-nursed by the talented, sympathetic and patient Alex Pond. You were still monochrome and fragile, but you were cosmetically trans-morphed into a boldly designed, almost chic, little edition themed “class” at the end of 2010. In 2011 your aunts and uncles Caroline Dale, Larry Fife and Jasmine Reilly continued to support you as you were re-published as the ‘Orientation’ edition – filled out with advertising, full colour and glossy pages. From there we never looked back in black. You’d entered childhood to develop into a handsomely glossy bastard. Of course we continued to struggle in your developmental problems. For example we had no Arts Editor (something that was never properly resolved under second semester), and there were the acute cultural differences between your cosmopolitan ideals and your provincial reality. You dreamed of running the race amongst the standard-bearers of student press: Pelican, Farrago, Vertigo, On Dit but found yourself struggling to articulate your views.
GSM exists to give a platform for expression, even if it’s a boozy, flirtatious, pop-culture saturated, selfishly youthful and borderline obnoxious one. We have travelled a light year in terms of content and style in just 12 months. Next year will be about consolidating our gains. Now the fundamental structures are in place to create and distribute GSM next year will be about developing our character – our community. We’re more than strangers publishing together, we’re friends. Next year we’ll be louder and brighter, like a party that never stops. I hope you’ll accept our invitation. Tom ‘T Bone’ Reynolds 1st Editor of GSM Special thanks to: Kayt D. for her feedback and sagely counsel. Alex P. for her patience and invaluable assistance at the very beginning. Greg J. for the company, the articles, and the support. Divya J. & Jess G. for picking up the baton halfway through the race this year. Larry F. & Jasmine R. for being with me from the very beginning and stepping up to join the team. Kaitlyn P. for volunteering her time. Gab M. for breakfast. Aldy H. for his devotion to proofreading. Caroline D. for the initial articles. Perry T. for being our amazing and very tolerant printer. Jim B. for supporting me through the trials and tribulations of starting a student rag. Anna M. for the unwavering support and reassurance. And finally a VIP shout-out to Patrick M. and Koko W. I’m extremely proud of your achievements and your friendship and the community you introduced me to have salvaged the worst year of my life. Thank you.
Taking a step back we reviewed the situation. Adjustments were made; page numbers were introduced to help navigate the shift from 24 to 32 pages as you entered puberty. You began to refine your interests; no more abstract articles on travelling through Latvia. Your voice broke as you began talking about reviewing taps, being outsmarted by poodles, checking out nightclubs and the cheapest ways to get drunk. And then something beautiful happened as puberty pushed you into a more adult form and you assumed 40 pages. You were difficult-at-best to manage before, but at 40 pages you’d become a literal handful. You were also, in my opinion, at your best. You lost your interview-virginity to Ben Law, Tom Ballard and Giz Watson: you flirty slut.
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Second semester rolled through with new writers, new sections and new layouts. Spread-eagled and addled on drugs, sex and rock n roll (well just drugs and sex) you won new friends. As a late adolescent you raised your voice and tried to shock us a little with your smoking, Nazi-nudity, dick-picks and BDSM, but like patient parents we accepted you for the noisy, foul-mouthed contrarian you were always destined to be. So finally here you are, at the end of 12 months. Plastered with nudity, smut, plastic whores, blasphemy, and implied incest. I can only hope that next year you become louder, bigger, smuttier and more ardent in your fight against the trogs, the wowsers, and the killjoys of the world.
So long, and thanks for all the typos!
GSM reviews politics culture stories
“Asia” Ed. 2 Vol. 3
GSM
Student press is... pop culture, politics, film, smut, fun, noise, books, opinion, youth, creativity, music, debate, community.
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Divya Jankee
Jasmine Reilly Larry Fife I contributed to GSM by being a great guy. I was also the film editor, but that’s more of a foot-note.
I contributed to GSM by writing reviews and articles and through become the books editor.
When I’m not writing I am studying, working, or playing some 3DS (in 3D!). Cricket season is also at our feet. Nom nom nom!
When I’m not writing I am now working!
Next year you’ll find me somewhere. Who knows where? Not me, anyway. Possibly honours...
My favourite thing about GSM this year was the sense of community.
My favourite thing about GSM this year was the way it transformed from a crappy magazine into a halfdecent one. Also, full colour!
When I grow up I want to be a successful women who is the breadwinner.
Giselle Natassia
No words purple elephant lobster, Dark Spyro was all rawr, but then Piggy was all pew pew pew!
No words can describe the emotions that are running through me in relation to finishing uni.
I contributed to GSM by taking photographs, making I contributed to GSM by writing reviews, the occasional feature and playing at music editor. images for covers When I’m not writing I am taking photographs, playing When I’m not writing I am at work, eating pastries. video games Next year you’ll find me catching up on shitloads of Next year you’ll find me studying for half a semester leisure reading! and then perhaps jetsetting to America pending Green Card Lottery win? My favourite thing about GSM this year was Writers’ nights – free pizza, free flowing ideas and Tom’s own My favourite thing about GSM this year was writing special brand of Heads Down Thumbs Up. an article about female ejaculation. The best thing published in GSM this year was Larry’s I hope I will be remembered for creating shocking feature article on taps. imagery My favourite moment from GSM this year was getting the opportunity to interview Ben Law! When I grow up I want to be happy. No words left is hopefully what you’ll have from viewing No words can describe how terrifying Tom is when you a photograph of mine one day, instead of the notion of a disappoint him. picture telling a thousand words.
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Next year you’ll find me graduating My favourite thing about GSM this year was the free shit I got The best thing published in GSM this year was DIY drug dealing! Totally cracked me up! My favourite moment from GSM this year was when I got asked by Tom to be a sub editor. No words...No life...
Bjorn E. Myran
When I grow up I want to be a real boy.
I hope I will be remembered for be a good person.
When I’m not writing I am... having a life?
Jess Gibbs
In my past life I must have been a butterfly. I am very elegant.
Next year you’ll find me working and buying a house.
I contributed to GSM by writing and editing. I also became the Arts Editor in Semester Two.
I contributed to GSM by writing and editing stories and distribution of new editions. Next year you’ll find me freezing my pale and pretty arse off in Norway. My favourite thing about GSM this year was discussing whether or not to have a naked Nazi-girl on the front cover. The best thing published in GSM this year was the article about female ejaculation. My favourite moment from GSM this year was Larry’s reaction when he saw me without the infamous beard. No words can describe how much fun I’ve had the last two and a half years here in Perth. Thank you so much to all of you who’s been part of it!
Aldy Hendradjaja
Alistair Milne
Kaitlyn Plyley I contributed to GSM by writing, proofreading (sometimes) and being a good girl by coming to writers’ nights. When I’m not writing I am filming my master’s project, watching movies, writing essays Next year you’ll find me smoking at the park across ECU cause of the smoking ban. But still writing for GSM. Hopefully making more films. My favourite thing about GSM this year was writers’ nights (Free pizzas! Free movie passes! Free music! Free books!). In my past life I must have been white. I’ve never been as Asian as my parents want me No words, no change. SPEAK UP!
Michael McCall
Dina Waluyo
No words could fully describe the meaning of GSM … No words can accurately describe how horribly annoying unless those words were “Guild Student Magazine”. I find the television program “The One: The Search for Australia’s Most Gifted Psychic”. What a load of rubbish!
Tom Reynolds
I contributed to GSM by attempting to convey my love of science and demonstrate the sense of wonder a thorough I contributed to GSM by writing stuff, proofreading understanding of the natural world can bring. When I’m not writing I am initiating my plan to take stuff, and eating the leftovers in the Guild fridge. over the world. When I’m not writing I am playing the saxophone When I’m not writing I am doing a job where I actually Next year you’ll find me on the headline news. get paid. Next year you’ll find me studying physics in Sydney or Melbourne (sorry ECU). My favourite thing about GSM this year was the Drug, Next year you’ll find me wherever there is free food. Sex, Rock ‘n Roll edition, baby! My favourite thing about GSM this year was getting the In my past life I must have been a virgin hunter (a.k.a. My favourite thing about GSM this year was Tom opportunity to write for a public audience. jerk). Reynolds. When I grow up I want to be a famous scientist! I hope I will be remembered for legalising cannabis. In my past life I must have been Tom Reynolds. My favourite moment from GSM this year was participating in the somewhat awkward game of ‘heads down thumbs up’ No words are necessary when you can poison the tea. I hope I will be remembered for Tom Reynolds. held at the beginning of each writer’s night.
I contributed to GSM by stealth
I contributed to GSM by not losing my sanity.
When I’m not writing I am so much better off
When I’m not writing I am editing, and being disappointed (see Jess Gibbs).
Next year you’ll find me the new Director of Stages WA playwrights visit me! My favourite thing about GSM this year was the pay rise The best thing published in GSM this year was anything by Hemingway In my past life I must have been soooo wrong When I grow up I want to be Miranda Kerr No words…the rest is silence
Next year you’ll find me editing like a boss/ weeping like a bitch. My favourite thing about GSM this year was mocking Larry in public forums. Also seeing our writers develop their own style and voice with each edition. The best thing published in GSM this year was the time I published the word cunt in the final edition. I hope I will be remembered for shooting crack. When I grow up I want to be writing angry e-mails to the editors of student magazines. No words except “seriously Larry, are you retarded?”
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When I’m not writing I am considering the answer to life, the universe, and every...Oh wait it’s 42. Next year you’ll find me hopefully in a new apartment. My favourite thing about GSM this year was contributing to the awesome. When I grow up I want to be sure about what I want to grow up as. I hope I will be remembered for the lulz. No words…no power. Words are a power unto themselves. Empower yourself, with words.
I contributed to GSM by writing reviews! I also contributed some political features. Also, I was music editor for six months. That was fun! When I’m not writing I am a musician/manager/hustler with my band Project Mayhem. Next year you’ll find me touring and recording with my band. Hustling for cash. Travelling as much as possible. My favourite thing about GSM this year was seeing it grow! I first heard about GSM a couple of years ago and it was called G-Spot Magazine, and it resembled a B2B and it was fucking ridiculous. Since Tom’s come on board he has turned the whole thing around. I’m really pumped to have been a part of that, even briefly, and I look forward to seeing GSM grow. In my past life I must have been Bon Scott, John Lennon or Yagan.
Jesse Fleay
Ben Watson
Chris Gibson I contributed to GSM by writing game reviews and articles mostly related to games.
I contributed to GSM by writing politics, and editing the work of others. When I’m not writing I am reading. Next year you’ll find me as an active member of the Northbridge Branch of the ALP. My favourite thing about GSM this year was the blend of diverse contribution. In my past life I must have been Alexander the Great. I hope I will be remembered for my ideas and the practice of them in society. - Finish this sentence No words are without cause. Some words are immortal.
No words… Halliburton.
Letter to the Editor. Dear Sir or Madam: My name is Patrick Marlborough, I am 21 years old, white, middleclass-ish, and the editor of UWA’s student magazine, the Pelican. I write in regard of the image Tom Reynolds sent me of a woman dressed in an SS uniform pinning down a bald man. This image is inoffensive and should not be censored in any way. The defining element of good student press is complete freedom. When I look at this image I see a standard example of the freedom that student press offers. It is not offensively sexual, nor is the Nazi imagery going to cause any great furore. If we published something akin to this in the Pelican, a publication in its 82nd year, I doubt anyone would even raise an eyebrow. It is aiming to provoke the reader, but I don’t see anything harmful or offensive in this provocation. Indeed, the swastika tape on the nipples is a nice touch. You have to ask yourself whether you are willing to limit the freedom of content in a paper in its first year. It is a strange thought to me. You will set an eerie
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precedent: by censoring or even shifting this image you are making a dangerous concession, one that will only allow more censorship in the future. The danger of this is not that the paper will lose the ability to ‘shock’, rather it will become vulnerable of turning stale. This is the greatest problem a student paper can face. The appeal of a magazine such as Pelican and hopefully GSM is their ability to have completely original, unique, strange and thought-provoking content. If this is limited in anyway, then the paper begins a journey to an unread purgatory, where its existence is essentially pointless. I believe using this image as the cover of GSM will not hurt anyone who has their wits about them. You only run the risk of alienating the dull, which as I’ve stated, should be a central commandment of any decent student paper Cordially yours, Lord Patrick Marlborough Ed. Thanks Patrick. Those Swastikas were my suggestion.
G-News: guild elections NUS Representatives - Rosabella Dormann - Thomas Marcinkowski - Tim Sandhu - Elwyn Foo Senate President - Tim Sandhu Education Vice President Thomas Marcinkowski Secretary Treasurer - Sebastian Tudor Faculty Representatives Business & Law - Simon Blades Computing, Health & science - Vacant Education & Arts - Vacant Regional Professional Studies - Vacant
Campus Representatives Bunbury - Norhidaya Guyu Joondalup - Shufaa Athman Mount Lawley - Anton Mozhdehina Other International Representative - Mathew Mannanal Mature Age/Part-Time/External - Jasmine Van Elst Postgraduate Representative - Hunter Murphy Women’s Representative Vacant
Wordlessly Scoring
We’ve
all heard of Grindr, the iPhone app that allows you to locate available gay men in your area for sexy fun times. But what if there were other ways of picking up that were just as effortless? Shopping at your local grocery store is a great way to meet singles, but how do you know if you are sending the right signals? Sure, it can be pretty obvious… you’re not going to pick up with a pack of adult nappies kicking about in your cart. But what about the smaller stuff? Word on the street is that if you grab a hand of bananas, pop it in the kiddie seat of your trolley and point it upwards. You’ll have the single women flocking. Bananas are the unspoken signal of being single and using them to your advantage will surely grab you some air time with that honey in the condiment aisle. If you find that all you discover is women surfing the crimson tide in the sanitary napkins aisle, perhaps move onto the club. Simply by wearing a coloured hanky somewhere on your person could send out all the signals that you can’t. While we mostly relate hankies in your back pocket with something that Snoop Dogg raps about, they can be a great way of advertising your sexual orientation to the general public. Black means you are into S&M, dark blue is anal, light blue means oral, yellow gets you involved in some rather wet adventures and brown is a whole other matter. There are many lists online that go much further in depth, so definitely check it out so you know what you’re dealing with.
What about something more instant? What if you don’t have an iPhone or a taste for cyclone-priced fruit? What if you have a taste for something strange? Cruise down to your local park at dusk, head towards the dilapidated toilet block and patiently wait in a cubicle. ‘Cottaging’began in the UK in the Victorian Era when bored and horny men would head to their nearest public lavatory for a bit of anonymous play. Due to the architectural style, the neighbourhood john was built to look like a quaint English cottages so that one would feel at home during the vacating of bowels. Closer to home, dunnies in suburbs like Gosnells, Middle Swan, Burswood and even the family friendly Lake Monger become hotspots after dark. Simply wait patiently until the families have left the area, pop into a cubicle and get involved in a game of Angry Birds until you hear someone enter the cubicle next to you. Slide your foot under the partition between the cubicles and repeatedly tap your foot in a rhythmic pattern at them. If they respond by mimicking you, then touching your foot with theirs, it’s game on. Usually one party would move to the other’s cubicle to really get things cranking, but if you are lucky enough to have a good location you could indulge in a spot of glory hole action.
I know what you’re thinking – all of this sounds like a hell of a lot of fun. What if you are a couple though? What if you want some team action and you’re bored of swinger parties? Then dogging is the concept for you. Deriving from the term ‘walking the dog’ where unsuspecting pooch owners would stumble across deviant couples going for it hammer and tong in the bushes. Nowadays, it’s a whole subculture that thrives in the unsuspecting City of Perth. I accidently stumbled across the idea when I was a teen, parked at a city lookout, getting a bit of nookie in the backseat with a pimplyfaced youth. Some seedy old man approached the car wanting to get involved and we hightailed it out of there. Since doing the research for this article, I have discovered that (little did we know) it was a popular place for dogging. All you have to do is rock up to one of these sexually charged parks or parking lots (in suburbs such as Bibra Lake, Bassendean, Belmont, Yokine or Hillarys) flash your headlights to get the ball rolling. There are many silent signals that go with this activity. If you flash your headlights and another car responds in the same way then they are doggers and are up for some action. If you turn your interior light on then you are inviting people to watch you and your partner get jiggy, if you wind down your window then people may approach to be involved. Having your window halfway down will signal that oral sex is on offer, and all the way down means that touching is allowed. Opening your door invites those watching inside to be involved. Who knew that Perth could be such a racy place?! Words by Lisa Hannaford
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gender
This is a topic most people are not aware of. Most people will not
even have heard of the term ‘Gender Dysphoria’. It is a condition that is both physical and psychological where some people are unluckily born the wrong gender. This can go undiagnosed for a long time because no one really knows what causes it. Those who suffer this tend to question their mentality and/or sexuality before they even think of gender being their problem. Gender Dysphoria, also known as Transgender or Transsexual, is often confused with other gender stereotypes. Cross-dressing is different from being a transvestite; both of which are different from being Transgender. The term ‘transgender’ is the correct word for diagnosis whilst ‘transsexual’ is the street term. (Those who are considered transgender are generally misunderstood and as such can be quite touchy when it comes to wrong pronouns or labels). A cross-dresser is someone who dresses as the opposite sex in the privacy of their own home as a way of sexual gratification or desire. They feel they have to do it in secret, though, as it can be hard to explain why you want to wear certain clothes. Cross-dressers usually only wear the opposite gender’s clothes in public if the items cannot be seen. This could be their confidence boost, it makes them feel sexy. Similar to transgender, this is not genetic. It is mainly just a fantasy that makes the wearer feel powerful. Those who are cross-dressing are generally not homosexuals and do not do it for fetish reasons. A transvestite, on the other hand, is more flamboyant about wearing the opposite gender’s clothes. They do it and they don’t care who knows it. They are not to be compared with Drag Kings and Queens, though. Transvestites generally like to get dressed up as the opposite gender for fetish reasons. It is a ‘turn on’ for them. It is sexually gratifying. Drags, however, are performers. Everything they do or wear while dressed up is over the top. Neither cross-dressers nor transvestites wish to change their gender. They just enjoy wearing the opposite sex’s clothing.
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bender A transgender/transsexual person is someone who is born as one sex (male or female) but identifies as the opposite gender (man or woman). For example, you could be born with a penis (sex) but you feel that you are actually a woman (gender). Transgenderism is often treated through hormones, testosterone blockers or enhancers and therapy. Those who are transgender often have a long road ahead of them to match their physical and psychological identities. Many experience discrimination and abuse because of ignorance and bigotry. Those who are transgender generally start their transition slowly. They start off on the prescribed tablets and dress how they should in the privacy of their own home. As their confidence peaks and they see the affects of their treatments they become more comfortable with the idea of being out in public dressed up. Then when they feel comfortable doing that, they try to make the switch 24/7. (This however can take awhile depending on the reception of friends, family and work as they are told.) After years of therapy and treatment a transgender might then decide to undergo sexual reassignment surgery, and various other surgeries that will help them become more feminine or masculine. There is no sexual gratification to be had from being a transgender. It may be a fetish to some people, but that is about it. Transgender is not a choice. Same as homosexuality. They can’t help that they were born in the wrong body. Most of the time you can’t even tell if someone is a transgender. They are just like everyone else who tries to fit into society. They just face specific challenges. Changing one’s gender is quite difficult. Legally you have to go by your birth certificate, even though you obviously don’t look like the gender stated. I personally date a transgender male to female. To me she is gorgeous. It doesn’t matter that she still has male genitalia; it is not essential to who she is. She is who is and I wouldn’t have her any other way. She is the same as anybody else I have met. We can’t hate transgenders just because we don’t think it makes sense. Words by Alysha Edwards
the f word Hi, dear readers! Can you please say aloud, ‘FUCK YOU’? There are many words in the English language that begins with the letter ‘F’, such as ‘fabulous’, ‘frivolous’ and ‘freedom’ – to name but few. Yet, there is only one word that achieves the honorary title: ‘The F Word’. How is that possible? It proves how much people love and worship this word. So, since the theme for GSM this time is ‘No Words’, let us talk a bit about this ‘F word’, which although it sounds like music to my ears, it has been discriminated against with the *BEEEEP* on television. Oh, I hate that *BEEEEP* sound! Origin Every time I hear someone using this word, one question keeps popping up in my head: who actually invented this special word anyway? Did the inventor know this word would become so famous? Did s/he even give a damn? Probably not! The origin of the word is unknown, although several sources suggest it was derived from the German word ficken, or the Swedish focka, or the Dutch fokkelen. The Uncyclopedia has their own belief of the origin of this word, saying that it was actually an acronym of ‘Fornication Under Consent of the King’. Although I don’t think this source is exactly reliable, I don’t care that much though because I like the idea. That sounds original enough to me. Another suggestion from Uncyclopedia is that this word is an acronym of ‘For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge’, which pretty much sums up what the word actually means in the dictionary. How to Use it Properly English grammar is like a septic tank: it’s useful, but most people don’t want to dive in and discover. Many vocabularies in English have their own nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs, which just makes it even harder to remember one by one. Well, luckily fuck is a special case. You can use this beautiful word anytime you like, regardless of the sentence structure or correct punctuation or whatever it is your teacher brainwashed you with in primary school. Fuck is universal. See someone you don’t like? Use it as a noun. See someone you like? Use it as a verb. See someone-you-like doing something-you-don’t-like with someoneyou-don’t like? Pick up a gun and use it as nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs in the same sentence, such as ‘That fucking fucker has just fuckingly fucked my wife! Yay!’ The word ‘yay’ is optional.
When to Use it Let’s say you’ve known the word and you’ve known how to use it in proper English. (Proper, maybe; polite, no.) The only question that remains is when you should use the word effectively and efficiently. Some people believe that the word can be used to express anger, hate, fear, surprise and/or joy. In short, you can use it whenever you feel like it. Believe it or not, a research by Dr Richard Stephens, a senior lecturer in psychology at Keele University, UK, has proved that the word and other forms of expletives help to reduce physical pain. It’s all about the primitive side of your brain that urges you to swear (or yelp like animals) whenever you’re in pain. Have you ever accidentally stepped on a dog’s tail? Did it yelp? It’s similar to that. But of course, since we live in a society that insists that we use goody-goody words whenever possible, we can use less offensive alternatives for fuck. These alternatives range from something obvious like ‘friggin’’, ‘freaking’ and ‘feck’, to something less obvious like ‘firetruck’ (because it’s ‘FiretrUCK’, you see). Possibly the best alternative I can find is ‘fudge’ (apparently some kind of candy), as used in this excerpt from South Park: ‘I just went and fudged your mama’. Go figure what it means! One warning though: the more often you use that word, the less smart you are in other people’s eyes. Personally, as a muddafacka writer, I don’t like using the word too often. I mean, okay, the occassional fuck can sound funny if you use it just a little bit, but if you use it in every sentence it just shows how uncreative you are in the art of insults. There are other, more offending ways to insult people, which will make you look smart and stylish while still swearing. Possibly one of my favourite insults of all time is this beautiful poem by Lawrence Dorfman: Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty; What the hell happened to you? That’s just … ouch!
Words by Mr Insult
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Do
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you remember the good old days of TV, when you used to be able to watch a show without smut and violence? No? Ha that’s OK, neither do I. As a society we seem to embrace all that is degenerate: sex, tick, violence tick, unnecessary gore, hell yeah. If a show is what’s commonly referred to as lowbrow by the more pious amongst us, then we’re down and ready for it. Gone is the sweet innocence of Angel and Shane making out in Summer bay, or Dinosaurs and really who doesn’t like a pot-wielding infant. As I write this I’m aware that I’m giving away my age, probably quite a few of you fair readers weren’t even a twinkle in your dad’s eye when these shows and characters were popular. Seriously though in the way of viewing pleasure, what do we have nowadays?’ Biggest Loser’,’ Beauty and the Geek’, ‘the Farmer Wants a Wife’, pfft who are we kidding? Shows like this exploit people, who in some way, shape or form don’t conform to society’s standards. The overweight contestants on ‘Biggest Loser’ are humiliated on national TV, while the nerdy and vapid are ridiculed and don’t get me started on ‘the Farmer Wants a Wife’, hmmm no, I think the farmer wants a root is more accurate, but then again so would I if I was stuck out in Whoop Whoop with a low female to male ratio. You can’t blame the guys but really pashing all your top picks isn’t the way to go about finding a lifelong partner now is it? But it does make for good ratings. So if this is the case why do we watch these kinds of shows? And let’s be honest they are shit. Is it because we like to see people in uncomfortable situations? The gossip, the drama, the fact that most of us probably have a little overweight, nerdy, beauty queen in us who’s horny and wants to get laid (yes I’m aware this will bring quite a disturbing image to mind but hey go with it, perhaps draw a caricature and send it in to the next issue). The truth is these shows rate and they rate well, that’s why they are all shown during prime time and there insidious mind numbing plots draws us in. We end up rushing home to watch ‘The Beauty and the Geek’ makeover show. If you recorded it though then you’re a lost cause, I’m sorry but there is no hope for you. Enough of the negative though, what shows are worth flicking over too? Well I’m going to subject you all to my BEST TV shows and I’ll even give you reasons. 1. The Big Bang Theory – Yes it has no plot, character growth or real drama and that’s what makes it brilliant. It’s comparable to a modern day Seinfeld, yet wittier and with better catch phrases such as... ‘Bazinga’ 2. Amazing Race – Its good because the contestants are in many cases utterly clueless. Who doesn’t like watching idiots run around getting frustrated and lost in foreign countries. All the while believing the correct way to achieve anything is to insult said country and speak louder. Ed. Kill. Me. Now. 3. Cartoons - Now I’m bunching them all together, as a blow by blow of each would take too long. If you’re not familiar with at least one of these shows, for shame! The Simpsons, Family Guy, Futurama and a grudging mention to American Dad. The Simpsons are classic and will retain a place in a lot of gen x and y’s hearts. Family guy, with its homoerotic themes, completely vulgar storylines and blatant disregard for morals, it’s a winner. Futurama is a show you can still watch with your younger siblings or children and not have to block their ears, well most of the time anyway. Lastly American Dad, hmmm it has its moments but I wouldn’t put it in the same league as the other three. While some of these shows may not live up to their predecessors such as Heartbreak High, Raw FM, Dark Angel, Quantum Leap and Sooty, they are still worth a viewing, if nothing else they will save you from watching infomercials at 5AM as I am now or worse yet succumbing to the evil influence which is ‘the Bold and the Beautiful’. Regardless of your TV tastes do a Google search of Dinosaurs you won’t be disappointed. Words by Miss Paige Wittingham
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Hey Jesus, leave them Gays alone What is God’s political role? The truth is, he doesn’t have one. He has
Ba’hai followers unite under their own cultural observance?
of state. One might jump to dispute this with the example of the Vatican
reasons is violating and breaching the constitutional framework of this
is a group of departments. These departments are governed by a
the Universal Declaration of Human Rights declares that; ‘ ... Men and
Holy Office’, and more to the point, the Pope is only ‘the representation
religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled
no office, no flag, no anthem; he is not a head of government, nor a head
Any person who blocks same sex marriage in the Senate for religious
City State, but one would be wrong; The Vatican City State government
nation. In relation to this, they are also breaching international law. For
president, not the Pope. Therefore, the Vatican City State is not ‘God’s
women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or
of God on earth’ to the Catholic branch of Christianity.
to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.’
Let us concentrate on Australian and international law; the
This indicates that marriage equality is a human rights issue. It is
Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights (1948). The Australian
Christian institution, and legislate in this regard, because; ‘Everyone is
nation, it also presents the prime laws to and how this government
without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language,
Constitution, have power to make laws for the peace, order, and good
birth or other status.’ Christians have a right to practice their beliefs,
Divorce and matrimonial causes ... ‘
regards to religious decisions in a parliamentary setting. Those who
The truth is that religion has no place in politics; secularism is ethical
born homosexual. If a straight (wo)man can be best friends with a gay
of government is secular, as the constitution clearly indicates: ‘The
towards inclusion. Those who do not identify as gay, should not distance
for imposing any religious observance ... ‘ Australia is not a Christian
not distance themselves from those who aren’t.
tradition or not, and partake in Christian activity. No church or religious
When has separation based on social identification ever contributed to
passed for religious purpose is therefore, unconstitutional.
different sexual orientation to their own? And why are we being denied
Any Christian who tries to tell you that marriage is between a man
appeal to the High Court, indicating a dual constitutional breach. If
outrageous claim is that marriage is a Christian institution. Was marriage
hope that one day you might be able to do something about it. Because
Indo-Iranian peoples, Jews and Patriarchs, Hindus and ancient Greeks
problem.
Commonwealth of Australia Constitution Act (1901) and the United
completely unethical to claim marriage as a purely heterosexual and
constitution is not only the authoritative founding document of this
entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this [the] Declaration,
is run, it clearly states that: ‘The Parliament shall, subject to ... [the]
religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property,
government of the Commonwealth with respect to ... Marriage: ...
just as members of any other religion. But they have no authority in
choose to be Christian, should not deny the rights of those who are
humanism. Marriage is a government institution and the institution
(wo)man, with no stigma or childish fears attached, it is a positive step
Commonwealth shall not make any law for establishing any religion, or
themselves from those who are, and in turn, those who are gay should
nation, and it is a citizens choice to be Christian, observe Christian
body has any authority over this nation, and any legislation or decision
the quality of life? Why would a person need to fear someone with a our basic constitutional rights? If I had the money, I would make an
and a woman does so in an unconstitutional, unethical spirit.The most
you are studying law, I urge you to consider this important case, in the
not active in the ancient world, pre-dating the Christian doctrine? Did not
gay rights are everyone’s concern; discrimination should be everyones
tie the knot, long before that done-to-death Mendelssohn anthem blared out in the modern era, ad nauseum? Do not Muslims, Buddhists and
Word by Jesse John L. Fleay
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It is often argued that science and religion are two compatible, equally
valid and even complimentary ‘world views’ – two sides of the same coin. Some assert the possibility of devotion to scientific principles while still maintaining a modicum of faith. Certainly, there are many extremely capable scientists who are also religious; however, I believe this position to be thoroughly inconsistent. The purpose of this article is to demonstrate that science and religion are in fact two wholly dissimilar and conflicting ideologies; in order to fully adopt the principles of one, you must abandon the other. I realise the term ‘religion’ is rather broad, so I shall begin by defining what I mean by it. There are probably just as many ‘types’ of religion as there are people, as the concept of ‘God’ tends to mean something different to everyone. I do believe, however, that most religions fall into one of three broad categories. Firstly, there is ‘theistic’ religion: this involves a personal God – one that takes an active interest in human affairs, intervenes in the natural order and has revealed his presence to humanity. It is this type of religion that is most incompatible with scientific thought. Well-known examples of ‘theism’ are Judaism, Christianity, Islam and Hinduism. Secondly, there is ‘deistic’ religion: the belief in a supreme being who created the universe but does not intervene. There is no obvious conflict between science and deism, as science simply investigates the handiwork of the alleged creator. That being said, why not just accept that the universe exists and doaway with superfluous, un-falsifiable entities? Finally, many people embrace a form of what might be called ‘spirituality’. This term is almost impossible to define as it encompasses such a broad range of ideas and philosophies. Nevertheless, ‘spiritual’ beliefs, though often excluding the concept of an omnipotent deity, generally refer to some sort of immaterial reality – a supernatural realm outside of scientific understanding. Eastern spiritualities such as Buddhism, Taoism and Jainism have existed for thousands of years; however, within the last century there has been an upsurge of ‘New Age’ spiritualities. A common theme amongst these beliefs is the notion of the ‘soul’, ‘spirit’ or ‘life force’.
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As I stated previously, there is an especially serious conflict between science and theistic religion. The conflict arises because the two worldviews are based on completely different and utterly irreconcilable methodologies: evidence-based reasoning and faith. A scientist actively interrogates the natural world; they may not like what they discover, but they must follow the evidence wherever it leads them. A person of faith approaches the world with certain preconceived ideas
that must be true. The three Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity & Islam) all require their adherents to accept claims about the physical world for which there is no evidence; they have certain dogmas which cannot be disputed – you are in no sense a Christian, for example, if you deny the resurrection of Jesus. In contrast, science has no dogma; as more research is conducted and more evidence collected, even the oldest and most cherished theories can be revised or even discarded. The American astronomer Carl Sagan was correct when he said, “We have a method, and that method helps us to reach not absolute truth, only asymptotic approaches to the truth — never there, just closer and closer, always finding vast new oceans of undiscovered possibilities. Cleverly designed experiments are the key.” It is true nowadays that many theologians belonging to these religions regard some sections of their holy books to be metaphorical and many have come to embrace the extraordinary findings of modern science; however, they do so at their own risk. For instance, in light of the discovery of evolution, many Christian theologians now interpret the book of Genesis to be metaphorical as opposed to a literal account of the creation of the universe. If the story of Adam and Eve –a fundamental part of the Christian faith for thousands of years– is mere poetic language, the question must be asked: how much of the rest of the Bible is simply metaphore, and by what criteria do so-called ‘sophisticated’ theologians judge it to be so? The Bible is a smorgasbord of events that are palpably inconsistent with our understanding of the natural world as there are no miracles in science, interpreting some as metaphors while accepting others as facts is foolish and contradictory. ‘Sophisticated’ theologians are intellectually dishonest in that they only apply the methods of science to some of their beliefs, shrouding the rest in the guise of ‘faith’. They are not silly enough to deny evolution, for example, but will cling desperately to ideas like the virgin birth (and other claims intrinsically difficult for science to test). An extremely unfortunate aspect of religion is that it teaches us that faith is a virtue and something to be respected – this is simply not case. Faith is nothing more than belief in the absence of evidence, or, as the American author Mark Twain put it: “Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.” I would posit that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Our religions certainly exceed in making extraordinary claims; however, the evidence they provide to support them is either shamefully feeble or, as is most-often the case, non-existent. continued...
By this point, I hope I have made clear the utter incompatibility of evidence-based science and faith-based religion. I shall now move away from theistic religion and briefly explore the conflict between science and various forms of ‘spirituality’. While nowhere near as dogmatic as the majority of theistic religions, spiritualities do make claims about the nature of the universe, thus exposing themselves of scientific scrutiny. What concerns me most about spiritual beliefs is the assertion that there exists an immaterial, supernatural reality. It is in this realm that our ‘spirit’ or ‘soul’ is supposed to exist, along with other ill-defined concepts such as ‘energy’ and ‘auras’. Let us consider the common-place notion that we humans have a ‘soul’. It is very easy to throw-around a term such as this; however, does it have any basis in reality? Human behaviour and emotions are becoming increasingly understood in terms of neurophysiology and evolutionary biology. Personalities can be drastically and irrevocably changed by simply removing or stimulating areas of the brain – where does this leave the popular idea that our sense of ‘self’ is somehow separate from our physical bodies? In the realm of neuroscience, the ‘soul’ is nowhere to be found. Many people find this unsettling. They will retort, “How can all our experiences and emotions be reduced to nothing more than the firing of neurons? How dreadfully reductionist! Science will never come to fully understand the human mind.” That may very well be the case. However, I am reminded of a quote by Charles Darwin: “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.” We must remember that, only a few hundred years ago, almost all phenomena required a supernatural explanation. Since the Enlightenment and the advent of true scientific thought, this is no longer the case. Just because something is complex and beyond our current understanding –such as the connection between brain and consciousness– it, by no means, opens the door to supernatural explanations. Science needs more time to investigate. The trouble with ‘spiritual’ philosophies is that they are mere assertions, not based on any real evidence or involving any concepts that can be described by physics. While some –such as the notion of the ‘soul’– are incompatible with the findings of modern science, most are hopelessly vague or inherently un-falsifiable, such as the Buddhist teaching of reincarnation. I often wonder: what is the difference between an invisible, undetectable, indefinable ‘spiritual energy’ (or some other esoteric spiritual notion) and no ‘spiritual energy’ at all? Carl Sagan treats this subject eloquently in his book, ‘The Demon Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark’. He says: “Claims that cannot be tested, assertions immune to disproof are veridically worthless, whatever value they may have in inspiring us or in exciting our sense of wonder… inability to invalidate a hypothesis is not at all the same thing as proving it true.” At all times –especially when pondering religion and spirituality– it is important to remember that we humans are imperfectly evolved, patternseeking mammals with an innate tendency to imbue meaning where none exists. Take, for instance, our habit of referring to blind physical forces as if they had personality and consciousness – ‘mother nature’. Our minds play tricks on us; we are hugely susceptible to hallucination and, in the words of the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, “A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.” Religions and most ‘spiritual’ philosophies belong in the infancy of our species; they were our first (and worst) attempts at making sense of the mysterious world in which we find ourselves. Thanks to the wondrous discoveries of science –made possible by the virtues of rigorous questioning, skepticism, rational argument and conclusions based on evidence– every person alive today has a more accurate worldview than the people who, millennia ago, made-up the stories that some of us still believe and refer to as religion.
Words by Alistair Milne
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Arts
What’s On?
We are students. It is exam time. We are all dying with revision. Well, it’s still no reason to keep yourself from having fun. Take a break from this tedious study process and go explore some galleries. Who knows? You might just get the inspiration or motivation you need. The best thing is that a number of the following exhibitions are FREE! Art Gallery of Western Australia Jump to 17th and 18th century Europe and meet the patrons and pieces of art through the ‘Princely Treasures’ exhibition. The Indigenous Art Awards are still showing until the 19th December while ‘Plates, Blocks and Stones: Five centuries of international print’ runs until the 28th November 2011. ‘Your Collection 1800- TODAY’ is ongoing and involves “Indigenous and non-Indigenous art, craft and design from international, national and Western Australian contexts in new conversations” according to their website . Look forward to ‘Vast: North-West Landscapes’ depicting the north Australian mining scenes from the points of view of four different artists at different points of time. Perth Institute of Contemporary Arts PICA has something unique coming up for you. Their new exhibition entitled ‘Alternating Currents’, which includes the display of works from six contemporary Japanese artists. It promises to be delightful, thoughtprovoking and interactive. It runs from the 12th November to the 31st of December 2011. For more information, go to http://www.pica. org.au/ Museum of Western Australia The Museum of Western Australia is hosting ‘Extraordinary Stories from the British Museum’, which is running from Tuesday 25th October 2011 until Sunday 5th February 2012. This exhibition showcases rare artefacts from the British Museum. Do not miss out on some Aboriginal Art displays with ‘Yarns of the Heart’, a collection on Noongar dolls from the Southern Wheatbelt, running until Tuesday the 31st January 2012. Admission is usually by gold coin donations. For more information, visit http:// www.museum.wa.gov.au/whats-on/whatson-now/#all Other than that, if you have some money to spare, do take a look at the websites of the Blue Room Theatre and His Majesty’s Theatre. They have some pretty awesome performances coming up. Good luck with exams guys and girls and have beautiful holidays. Cheers! Divya Jankee Arts Editor
Sticky Situations Trevor Jones 4.5/5 Trevor Jones opens up ‘Sticky Situations’ remarkably with one of the most outrageous songs I have ever heard. This cabaret performance is full of sex topics that many consider taboos so a major thumbs up for this talented artist to take up the subject. Despite the fact that he is gay, he talks about things that can happen to straight people as well, showing that there is really no need for homophobia because essentially, relationships are the same. We all go through these complicated or weird situations we wish we could avoid. In the end, we are all in the same boat and we all have our happy and sad moments. The whole show is very interactive even though the comedian is talking about his own experiences. He engages his audience throughout the whole show and is incredibly entertaining while singing, playing the piano and occasionally the accordion and narrating funny anecdotes relating to the ‘sticky situations’ he finds himself when he goes out on dates. Notably hilarious episodes are when he connects to the iPhone application ‘Grinder’ and actually chats up guys live and when he simulates a ‘Perfect Match’ game show with the help of volunteers of the audience to demonstrate the uselessness of websites such as eHarmony, especially for gay men. The lighting was appropriate and changing accordingly to what Jones was doing at all times while the atmosphere was really homely and cosy. At one point, Jones had some technology issues but he made a joke out of it and used a volunteer’s 3D internet. The most random thing happened when Jones was chatting up a guy on ‘Grinder’ and then realised that he knew this person from somewhere and that person was sitting in the audience: he had not noticed it till that point. This really made me wonder whether that really happened or whether it was staged. Either way, it works for him. He ends on a sad yet positive note, encouraging the audience to sing with him ‘We all get it in the end’. Two words for this show from me: Pure Awesomeness!!!! Words by Divya Jankee
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Stadium Tarryn Gill & Pilar Mata Dupont Perth Institute of Contemporary Art (PICA) 3/5
Stadium is a curious collection of arts. A collaboration of the duo artists Tarryn Gill and Pilar Mata Dupont, Stadium presents the better of the two artists’ video and photography works. When you first enter the building, the first thing you would notice is that the Central Gallery has been reconstructed to create a small stadium. Opposite of these seats is a big screen, on which four selected videos of the two artists are replayed one after another. You’re welcome to sit on any of these seats and watch these combinations of ballet and action on the big screen. Leaving the big screen, Galleries 1, 2 and 3 are filled with other Gill and Mata Dupont’s works, such as All Australian Surf Lifesaver. They’re all photographs, except for a small screen in Gallery 2 that shows another video called The Musical. Unfortunately, there’s no audio for this one video, but even if there is I don’t think we can hear it because of the noise from the big screen. Gallery 3 is the coolest of all. The room has been reconstructed to create what looks like an office of a tyrant. A dark room, an empty wooden table and photos of world leaders (or their parodies) on the back and on the opposite wall. I really, really wanted to try to sit on this table – maybe that way I could know how it felt to be a tyrant. Hey, if I couldn’t be a tyrant, at least I could feel like one for a few seconds, right? As I’ve said, Stadium is a curious collection of arts. You’ll find works that don’t seem to be related to one another, except that they’re made by the same artists. The title Stadium itself comes from one of the video series presented in the big screen, Gymnasium. But I must admit I found the title rather inappropriate, because this collection of arts also consists of the artists’ other works. Words by Aldy Hendradjaja
Books
A note from the Books editor And so the year comes to an end, and it is a big end for me. This was my last year of uni and it was certainly an interesting one. Between all the tears, sweat, struggle with assignments and struggles with concentration I am certainly glad to be done. I have enjoyed working with GSM since the first edition and I think it is a shame that it isn’t more known. But without GSM, the ML campus would have no sense of community. Tom is always welcoming people to hang out in his office, and I have had some very amusing times in that office; Larry was often part of them. As I pass the baton of books editor on to somebody else, I need to emphasise the amount of passion I had for the position. I loved getting books for people and always felt a sense of pride when I received book reviews. I have to give a huge thanks to people like Aldy and Divya who always did a book review on time, and always did it well. So I wish you all a good summer and I know that as soon as my final exam is done, I will be raising a glass or 20 to all of you. Cheers to Tom and the rest of the amazing people who contribute to the GSM magazine, you certainly made my year interesting. Jasmine Reilly
Beyond White Guilt: The Real Challenge for Black-White Relations in Australia Sarah Maddison 2/5
Beyond White Guilt discusses what might be considered a taboo in Australia. Years have passed since the British army landed in the Australian shore. You might have heard about the relationship between the Indigenous and the ‘White’ Australians. And if you have, you might not be able to talk about it in a daily conversation. In Beyond White Guilt, Sarah Maddison asks the ‘White’ Australians among you: What would you do to fix your ancestors’ doing to the Indigenous Australians? About the Lost Generation? The Terra Nullius? Do you even feel anything about it? Sure, you might not get involved in it. It was your ancestor’s doing; not you. But do you really think you have the right to pretend such crisis never existed? That’s pretty much what the book is about. Humanity students will find this book quite useful for their studies, although unfortunately they will have to bear up with the massive repetition of the word ‘guilt’ in the first few chapters. This word can be found in almost every page in Introduction and Chapter One. Okay, it might be the keyword in this book, but it becomes tedious after being repeated so many times. Chapter two onwards is slightly better, though. At least the word doesn’t appear that often. Maddison knows many people won’t find this book so appealing. She even says it in the introduction of the book. After all, this crisis is something that has really haunted this country for ages and, admittedly, there’s no easy solution for this. Still, it’s important to be aware of this problem, because you’re living in Australia and this is an Australian crisis.
Inherited Amanda Curtin 4/5 Amanda Curtin is a gifted writer. The way she writes, describe and make you connect to the characters is very refreshing. Whether she chooses a first-person narration or thirdperson narration style, there is a beauty about the way she tells her stories and the presence of the author is undeniable. It enables an intimate connection between the characters, the author and the reader. The stories are all different. Because there is no connection with any of them and for that reason, I felt a bit disappointed but at the end of the book. I realise it doesn’t really matter because it just paints the daily lives of different protagonists from different walks of life. They have their little obsessions, their little whims and fancies. Their little secrets that make us able to relate to them as human beings. The protagonists, from the dancer in a wheelchair to the sound designer stealing the sound of the room passing the man who hears his dead wife’s voice, will find a way to your heart. Curtin has the ability to make the weirdest things sound as normal as possible. It’s difficult to describe the charm that this brings to the book. I found practically no negative aspects of this book but it should be read by people who really appreciate literature and like writing themselves because it is a beautiful read. It also teaches us that although human beings can be perceived as weird, whimsical or crazy, they are still human beings. Words by Divya Jankee
Words by Aldy Hendradjaja
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Books
PostSecret Frank Warren 4.5/5
Queen Elizabeth II Portraits by Cecil Beaton 4/5
PEARL JAM TWENTY Pearl Jam & Cameron Crowe 3.5/5
PostSecret is an arts project which was started by Frank Warren in November 2004. The idea is that you send in a secret about ANYTHING. As the blurb says, “reveal anything – as long as it is true and you have never shared it with anyone before.”
This book holds within its pages a selection of photographs taken by Cecil Beaton of the royal family. Alongside many of the pictures are details of Beaton’s life and how he came to photograph the royal family.
Pearl Jam has been rocking for as long as I can remember and has gained worldwide respect. And while I’ve always loved Pearl Jam’s music, I can’t really call myself a big fan of the band. When I first saw the title Twenty, I sort of guessed the book is about celebrating twenty years of their music. Bingo. Twenty years of their music history and they’re still going strong.
The books are not the only side of this project, with Frank uploading a small number of secrets to the project’s website each Sunday. PostSecret is Warren’s way of helping people as he believes that people can learn from either sharing or reading a secret. The important thing to remember is that secrets that are sent in can be about anything. In the book there are a number of secrets of all different kinds. I will share a few of my favourites, but the problem is that it is often the picture that makes it more beautiful. You can find secrets like “I’m terrified of not existing”; “I am so grateful to the psychiatrist I saw when I was nineteen, who told me I would be fine again. He saved my life.” and even simple secrets like “I wish I were still innocent.” The beauty of PostSecret is that there are always secrets you can relate to. When you relate to a secret, there is a sense of relief when you realise you aren’t the only one. I think this is a great book to have on your coffee table so you can share it with the people in your life. The project is inspirational and I hope that one day I get the guts to send a secret instead of just reading them. Words by Jasmine Reilly
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Pictures of Beaton and some of his other famous subjects are also included in this masterpiece. The photographs of Elizabeth start when she was just a Princess and follow her as she becomes Queen. There are also photos of the Queen’s mum and many of the other royals we are familiar with. This collection is quite exquisite. Many of the photographs I have never seen before. There is a sense of intimacy around many of the photos chosen for this album. Beaton depicts a side of the Queen that many of her subjects and followers would never have seen. His work is quite brilliant. The majority of scenes in which Elizabeth sits are quite breathtaking. And yes, being royal means her dresses are also beyond stunning. Whilst going through the album I personally squeed over a few of the dresses and declared that I must have them, even though they are well over 50 years old now. I am not one that generally follows the lives of the royalty. I couldn’t even tell you the difference between Princes Harry and William, but I will tell you this. This book is very nice. It was a delight looking at the wonderful selection of Beaton’s photographs. Words by Alysha Edwards
What is meant to be the written version of the band’s documentary film, Pearl Jam Twenty opens with a quite lengthy foreword from the director, Cameron Crowe, and a short bio of the band members. The first chapter of the book feels like any other book out there with a narration of how it all began. The whole book turns away from the conventional writing style with more specific dates and events from “Chapter 1990” (not Chapter two). There are more facts and quotations than narration. At the end of most chapters, longer narratives highlight albums and major events in both the band’s journey and its members’ lives. Personally, I like biographies to be more like a story. This isn’t the case with Twenty. Flipping through this book is like reading the band’s official journal. Though, accompanied with lots of photographs of the band, images of original handwritings and letters, Pearl Jam Twenty is definitely a keeper for every fan. If you’re a rookie on this like me, you’ll find lots of information about the band’s major events. If you’re already a big fan, well, you might also be surprised at how detailed this book is. Words by Dina Waluyo
Books
The Price of Life Nigel Brennan, Nicole Bonney and Kellie Brennan 4/5 Breathtaking. I don’t know if there’s a better word to describe this book. The Price of Life tells us a story of the kidnap and ransom of Queensland journalist Nigel Brennan as he travelled through Somalia with his Canadian friend, Amanda Lindhout. The trip that at first seemed to be a great prospect for their journalistic career, turned out to be a nightmare-comes-true story after they met a group of Somalian terrorists. Now Nigel and Amanda must do their best to survive until their families could pay the ransom. The story has been restructured effectively to keep up the tension. The story doesn’t begin chronologically but rather from the moment Nigel and Amanda were captured. What freaks me the most is that this story truly happened, not just some fictions about Somalia terrorists. Nigel and Amanda were really held as hostages, and their families really went into a moment of distress as they tried to do their best for their release. The story was told from three different perspectives: Nigel tells us the story of his captives, while Nicky Bonney (Nigel’s sister) and Kellie Brennan (Nigel’s sister-in-law) tell us how their families were struggling to ensure their release. Even though while reading it you know Nigel would be released at the end (duh, how could he tell his story if he wasn’t?), you can’t help but keep questioning what would happen next. If you want to read something that can make you hold your breath, this true story is much better than fiction! Words by Aldy Hendradjaja
Seven Deadly Sins Corey Taylor 4/5
Surviving Maggie Diane Fingleton 2.5/5
For those of you who don’t know “Coreyfucking-Taylor”, he’s the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour and he is simply a-fucking-mazing.
Olympic swimmer Anthony Fingleton’s life story was immortalised in Swimming Upstream, a film he co-wrote with his sister Diane Fingleton. Their brother, John Fingleton, objected to his siblings’ screen portrayal of their father, Harold, and this novel is written by John in his father’s defence.
His book isn’t just for his music fans, but you do have to be comfortable with constant swearing, exploration of sex and the bitter truth of life to enjoy it. BUT if you don’t read it, you’re missing out on brilliant writing. Corey writes in a unique way, admitting on the second page that the hard thing about being a writer, is that everything’s been said before. His book is a big “fuck you” to the normal conventions of writing and throughout it, you aren’t sure whether he is pissed or happy with you for buying his book. Despite this, Corey respects the intelligence of his readers. He plays with the conventions of writing in a way that simply stunned me. One minute I’m laughing with joy, and the next I have tears in my eyes. Now I admit I’m an emotional person, but most books can’t do this. The book is about the Seven Deadly Sins and how they’re a load of bullshit created by people trying to control us. He doesn’t just tell us they aren’t sins, he shows why they aren’t. He mixes in his opinions and real life experiences to create a book that’s entertaining and thought provoking. He stands by the idea, though, that we should learn from our own mistakes. What I enjoyed the most in the book was that a lot of his ideas where my ideas, he just said them more beautifully (yes, even with the swearing). Please don’t miss out on reading it. Words by Jasmine Reilly
Surviving Maggie is the true story of Harold Fingleton’s life. It begins with his father’s untimely death in his early childhood and ends where Swimming Upstream began. Police reports and official documents were used by Fingleton to research the novel. Interviews with family members and Harold’s friends provided additional material that authenticates and explains the events that shaped Harold’s life. The story—which traces the roots of family violence back to Maggie, Harold’s alcoholic mother, includes descriptive passages of a poverty stricken and brutal childhood that resulted in Harold’s propensity toward violence. I didn’t feel comfortable with the choice of title and the shifting of blame for Harold’s aggressive behaviour onto his mother, as many of his cruel life experiences were at the hands of people he encountered outside the family. The story content wasn’t easy to read, however, it was written in plain English using a simplistic style and is printed with large font, a combination that works well from a technical perspective. I rated this novel as a standalone text, but if you enjoyed Swimming upstream and like reading trauma and abuse stories, you will probably give it a much higher rating. Words by Dianne Zanetti
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Film
Dear Fellow Film-Goers, Firstly, yes, the film reviews are normally longer then what they are here. Because the theme for this issue is ‘no words’, I decided to replace a chunk of words with pictures! You know, because there aren’t enough cat pictures in the world. You’re welcome. This year I’ve enjoyed ‘I Am Number Four’, ‘X-Men: First Class’, ‘Thor’, ‘Sucker Punch’, and others, but I just didn’t feel like anything great reached the big screen. Looking back at it, 2011 will be known as the year that I waited for ‘The Avengers’. Farewell for the final time, Larry Fife. Ed: Apologies for the pictures used here. I gave Larry full discretion before remembering he was also responsible for giving Transformers III 5/5.
The Thing Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. Mary Winstead, Joel Edgerton 2/5
Take Shelter Jeff Nichols Michael Shannon, Jessica Chastain 4.5/5
This prequel to the 1982 adaptation pays much homage to its predecessor. Taking place just days before the events of the original, the film plays out the events in the Norwegian camp that escalate the mystery in the (original) ‘The Thing’ almost impeccably to the original. However the lack of character development and lack of emotion from the actors can’t help but suck you OUT of the movie, making it more entertaining than scary at points. When the big confrontation inevitably happens I couldn’t help but feel like the remake was trapped into the events set in place by the original. Excellent B-grade horror entertainment.
Setting off with a vision of an upcoming storm, Take Shelter started off strong and spot on. The film’s plot is mainly on Curtis’ (Shannon) attempt to cope with his paranoid schizophrenia symptoms by focusing himself on building a storm shelter. Although trust, the struggle middle-class American families undergo, and stigmatising society are also clearly highlighted. I’d been waiting for Take Shelter’s release since the beginning of June when my supervisor sent me the film’s website link. With the high level of anticipation and expectation, Take Shelter definitely didn’t let me down. The film’s strong plot, Shannon’s performance and the surprise at the end left me feeling brain-fucked.
Words by Brennan Peers
Words by Dina Waluyo
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Film
What’s your number? Mark Mylod Anna Faris, Chris Evans and Ari Graynor 4.5/5
The Debt John Madden Helen Mirren, Sam Worthington 2.5/5 In the post World War Two environment, three Israeli agents have infiltrated East Berlin in an attempt to kidnap a doctor who performed monstrosities during the Second World War. Also, in the present day, these (now former) agents are threatened with someone who may not be willing to remain in the past. These two time-lines are simultaneously unravelled, and the result is a decent drama. The acting is good, story decent, and it presents one of the most memorable images I’ve seen in a film. In the end, though, the sub-par present day events feel tacked on, resulting in this film just being decent. Words by Larry Fife
This movie is an amusing chick flick that anyone can enjoy. I dragged my boyfriend to come see it with me and he wasn’t too excited to have to come see a chick flick, but there were scenes where he was laughing just as much as me. The movie is pretty clever and there are small jokes, as well as the huge obvious ones they throw in your face. It stars Anna Faris and Chris Evans as the leads Ally Darling and Colin Shea and they have great chemistry on set and play their roles brilliantly. Words by Rebecca Hoare
Johnny English Reborn Oliver Parker Rowan Atkinson, Rosamund Pike 2.5/5 Johnny English reborn bursts into cinemas eight years after the first. In that time, Johnny has gotten more serious, which is also less funny. Beginning in Tibet, English is quickly called back into action to prevent an assassination on the Chinese Premier. Like the first, there’s lots of explosions, a car-chasing scene, and jokes made at the secret service. But you don’t go to movies with Atkinson to see explosions. Although less funny, it still has its moments, and if you liked the first you’ll like this one too. An opening scene shows English pulling a rock with his penis pretty much sums up this movie. Words by James Olsen
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Games
Hello all you gamers out there! There’s a question I always ask myself. What are all these students doing wasting their time with games? Not that I’m judging you. Definitely not! But… I am here to offer you a solution! Do you want your parents to stop nagging you about games “when you should be studying”? Or do you want your girlfriends and boyfriends to stop bothering you to go out with them? I am here to offer you the perfect excuse! Join GSM’s fantastic team of game reviewers! Next year will be a brand new start and during the O-Day, as well as throughout the entire year, we’ll be recruiting new writers. What is it we offer, you ask? The opportunity for you to play games without guilt of not studying or spending time with the ball and chain, a great little addition to your resume, and the opportunity to hang out with some crazies just like yourselves! It’s a very rewarding experience, and I will be giving out great rewards to the best contributors at the end of the year! You can’t miss this chance! It’s going to be super, very, giant, greatly, unbelievably, big, boom, crash, pow, FANTASTIC! Much hugs and fluffy feelings, Your always faithful provider, AV
Naughty Bear PC 1/5
‘Oh my gosh!’ I thought as I bought this game. ‘This is going to let me play out all my sadistic fantasies and pretend I am getting back at all my childhood bullies without becoming a serial killer!’ This is a game where you are a teddy bear beating up and torturing other teddy bears. They didn’t invite you to their tea party and now you want revenge. I thought this game would be great. Boy was I wrong. All it took was entering the game and that was it. My hopes were dashed. It looked terrible. And it got worse as the game went on! Generally you can use many words to describe a game. This game uses but one. REPETITIVE. You do the same thing over and over and over and over again. You hunt down your enemy and you torture them. Sure you gain new ways of torturing the other teddies, but seriously who wants to do the same thing continuously with no excitement at all, just so you can maybe throw an ice pick or tie up one of your teddy bear enemies? Did I mention you do the same things over and over and over again? Normally games have you excited, hyperventilating, swearing your brains out and making you lose hours upon hours. But this one, ten minutes, maybe fifteen if you have the patience and you are done. You can’t keep on with it. There is nothing. Nothing at all to be felt. Nothing at all to be said. No good words to describe what you just played. Alysha Edwards.
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Skylanders: Spyro’s Adventure 3DS 4/5
Imagine you having a toy that you placed on a platform, which was then transported into a great game. Well that’s the premise of Skylanders. The starter pack comes with the game, 3 toys (of which there are more than 30 in total and can be purchased separately), and the portal of power. You place a toy on the portal of power, and bam, it appears in your game. It may be a gimmick, but it’s also impressive and fun. A gimmick doesn’t make a game good, though. You need fun game-play, smart game design, creative characters, and a decent storyline. Thankfully, this game has all of this in spades. Given the storyline was penned by the writers for Toy Story, the music was written by Hans Zimmer, the composer behind Lion King and Pirates of The Caribbean, and that the games been in production for almost three years, this shouldn’t be a surprise. Credits aside, the game is just fun. It’s a platformer, and set up like Mario Galaxy, where there are different worlds (each with themes), and within each world there are several levels (each with challenges). It’s through these levels which you take the characters of your choice. You only need one, and they’re all creative, play-different, and provide a difference experience for the player. Yes, I love this game. It’s not aimed at adults, but if you have a child, or still have an innerchild within you, it deserves a look. Larry Fife
Music
Peaking Lights 936 1/5
Sinners Never Sleep You Me At Six 3.5/5
Faker How Did We Not Get Loved? EP 2.5/5
It’s sort of exciting to get an album from artists you have no idea who are and even less of an idea of what kind of music they play. So when you finally have the opportunity to press that play button, you sit down extra hard in the couch, put the speakers on superblast and sit in hopeful anticipation to be blown away by some stroke of musical geniusness.
Sinners Never Sleep is the third full-length album, and fifth release from UK group You Me At Six. The twelve track album was released on September 30 2011.
Welcome to How Did We Not Get Loved? A new EP from the band brought you a multitude of hits such as This Heart attack, and um…Are you Magnetic?
As a fan of You Me At Six, I was a little disappointed that this album wasn’t as good as their previous releases. It lacked the variation in mood between most songs, and no song was particularly upbeat or fun to sing along to. Most of the songs are about being used or falling in love with and getting a broken heart. While this is similar thematic material to their previous albums, the songs sound mostly the same in the way they’re written.
Faker is arguably a one hit wonder (one and a half hit if you like Are You Magnetic) and at the moment I can’t see that changing.
The only thing I knew about Peaking Lights is that they’re a dubstep duo. So you try to get an idea of what to expect by the name of the group and album. But more than anything, you just hope it’s good. This isn’t. The songs are very repetitive and pretty boring. It’s as if they made a thirty second intro of a song, decided they really like that intro, looped it for four minutes and try to hide it by hurl in some random words here and there. The only good moment on the 8 (?) track album is the first 10 seconds on track 8, Summer Time. One of the funniest comments I’ve seen on YouTube was the first time I saw the term “ear-rape” as a compliment for a song. This album is ear-rape. But not in a good way. If I’d bought this album, I would march back to the record store and demand my money back AND an apology from the artists, record label and record store for forcing this in the music history. Words by Robert Smith
The appearances of Bring Me The Horizon’s lead vocalist Oli Sykes on ‘Bite My Tongue’ and Parkway Drive’s Winston McCall on ‘Time Is Money’ add screamo to the album, which is unneeded, and adds more angst to the LP. ‘No One Does It Better’, ‘Crash’ and ‘Little Bit of Truth’ are about trying harder in relationships and are, interestingly enough, some of the only songs that sound different from the rest of the album. The only track that seems to have any thought put into its placement on the album is the final song ‘When We Were Younger’, about how, in the end, life is a lot harder than your parents said it would be. Despite this, the group has put out a good album, and the effort that has been put into it is evident. Sinners Never Sleep is definitely worth a listen to, whether you’re a fan of You Me At Six or not. Words by Tom Waits
The How Did We Not Get Loved? EP consists of five songs that, while not terrible, leave a lot to be desired. As I was not versed in the ways of Faker, I leapt into the EP with expectations of catchy alternative pop rock songs of the same quality of Heart attack. It’s always a risky gamble to judge a bands sound on a hit single… The first track “How Did You Not Get Loved” dashed my hopes of an EP full of Heart Attack-esque pop nuggets. How do I put this… the album sounds like a worse joy division. The EP lacks any particularly meaningful songs, which would be acceptable if it was chock-a-bloc with catchy tunes which it isn’t. The record is forgettable, but it isn’t terrible… it’s just... meh. It has to be said that, had I paid for the EP, I’m sure my review would be much harsher. Basically don’t waste your money on buying it, go get a choc honeycomb milkshake instead, it will taste better. How Did We Not Get Loved? 2.5/5 (Not recommended for lactose intolerants.) Side note: ‘Are You Magnetic’ has a cool music video, see I can do positive. Words by Kaprou Lea
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Music
Tom Waits Bad As Me 5/5
Mastodon The Hunter 3.5/5
Erasure Tomorrow’s World 1/5
Seven years apart from his last studio album, Tom Waits’ new album Bad As Me certainly is a stellar. Collaborating with numerous of talents to create his cinematic yet bluesy sound, Waits said on his CBC interview, it’s all about working with adventurous musicians. Bad As Me is truly an adventurous piece showing the wide range of the sixtyone year old genius’ music.
Mastodon didn’t invent concept albums, but they sure as fuck took them to the next level. Over the course of three albums – Leviathan, Blood Mountain and Crack The Skye – they took on Moby Dick, Rasputin, and a bunch of other shit I’m not even going to try and explain. More to the point, while thematically the songs on each album were linked, they were ripping in their own right. But what happens when you remove that connection?
People complain about today’s bands rehashing synthpop sounds of the eighties, but at least some of the music these bands produce is somewhat interesting. This album, Erasure’s 14th, is not interesting. It’s pretty shit.
The journey takes off with Chicago, which is a reminiscence of his 2002 album Blood Money fused with the feeling and intention of his Rain Dogs opening track Singapore. Talking At The Same Time’s laid-back rhythm, tingling piano, and the twang of the banjo combined with the sombre lyrics and Wait’s smooth falsetto is the perfect set up to enjoy that glass of bourbon. The Spanish tinged Back In the Crowd is a very sweet romantic song that puts Waits in a new light. Melancholy and brittle Last Leaf sounds like it belongs to one of his earliest albums and my favourite album, Closing Time. The wonderful adventure ends on New Year’s Eve’s serenading accordion and still Spanish inspired guitar and Waits singing his version of Auld Lang Syne. Although I absolutely love Tom Waits and his music, I’m glad he doesn’t use his deep guttural growl he did so much in Blood Money too much. Even his deep idiosyncratic growling Hell Broke Luce sounds pleasant just because it’s not all over the place. Bad As Me is definitely worth the seven-year wait. It is the perfect album showcasing Tom Waits’ daring, dramatic, eccentric, melancholic, and romantic music. A gem. Words by Dina Waluyo
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The Hunter isn’t a concept album; it’s nowhere near as progressive as Crack The Skye, and it’s not as fast or thrashy as Leviathan or Blood Mountain. No, this is Metallica circa their Black album. It’s accessible enough to crack the mainstream while remaining still very much a metal album. The triple hit of Black Tongue, Curl of The Burl and Blasteroid may be the best opening salvo of any recent album anywhere, but it’s also noticeable that Mastodon are one of the only bands that can claim to be writing a metal album with pop elements. No other band, bar maybe Queens of the Stone Age, can write hard songs that are this hooky. Throw in a few synths here and there, and this album is huge amounts of fun. But back to the earlier question. What happens when a concept album band stops writing concept albums? I’ll make a prediction. They get hugely popular, and their dedicated initial fan base stops giving a fuck about ponderous concepts. Ripping stuff. Words by Liam Ducey
Erasure is an icon of the synthpop explosion of the late eighties, one of the worst periods of music in the history of the world. But this isn’t something that we should hold against them; if you’re anything like me then there is nothing you enjoy more than dancing like you’re receiving shock therapy to shit like “A Little Respect” at four in the morning after consuming four bottles of Bowler’s Run ($2.50abottlefuckyeah!). But songs like that have some character. They have some unique flair, and even if it’s not your thing you can’t ignore its ability to inspire a groove. Tomorrow’s World, however, is just a nothing album. They seem to have desperately grasped at everything from Lady-Gagaesque freakiness to James Blake-like dubstep undertones (this is a terrible comparison but I don’t care, so long as you get the point that this album fails to define itself in any way that convinces me to like it). Like most bands at this stage in their career, Erasure has become pretty much irrelevant. If some bored kid made this album in their bedroom there is no chance that some bozo would end up writing a review about it for any magazine, let alone a sterling publication like the GSM. Words by Luke Pegrum
Music
Mariachi El Bronx Mariachi El Bronx 3/5
Evanescence Evanescence 3/5
Let’s get this straight. Nothing exists in a vacuum, and if you haven’t heard of The Bronx, or if you don’t listen to The Bronx, or enjoy The Bronx on any level, chances are you won’t care about their mariachi alter egos.
Evanescence’s first album, Fallen, was one of my favourite albums when it came out in 2003. The CD was relentlessly played at least a dozen times the same day it came home from the record store. If it could, it would probably crawl out of the CD-player, lie down in a foetal position and beg for a break.
Now I could enter into endless debate over the cultural validity of liking a mariachi band just because it’s a tough, relatively popular punk rock band playing mariachi, and that if there weren’t that connection nobody would buy the album. The only reason I’m not going to is because Mariachi El Bronx’s second album, while probably a better representation of mariachi as a whole compared to their first, has a few problems apart from that whole shitfight. While the playing is spot on perfect and the production crisp, it lacks the ramshackle charm that marked the first Mariachi El Bronx album. The songs tend to bleed into one another, especially with so many lovesick ballads. Matt Caughtran’s vocals, though, are a highlight – his voice is surprisingly adept compared to the throat shredding he normally dishes out. But maybe it’s that lack of intensity that just leaves me cold on this record. It’s not a bad album by any stretch of the imagination, but as a separate entity from The Bronx I wonder if it would gain half the attention it has cultivated. It has its charms, but when it sounds that slick you’ve got to wonder if charm is enough. Bring on the next proper Bronx album.
The album was a big success, selling over 17 million copies worldwide and saw the band winning two Grammy awards and nominated for three more. From then to now, the band has been in an array of changes in the line up, leaving Amy Lee as the only original member since the band’s debut album. Because of that I was expecting a lot of changes for their newly released self titled album, which you sort of get. The overall sound is more upbeat, but oddly enough also heavier. Amy Lee’s classical piano background comes more into play in the structure of the songs, making it a more musical album then what you might be used to from the Arkansas Goth(ish) rockers. The highlights are track three, The Change, and the twelfth track, Swimming Home. Despite all of this, you’re still left with a sense that you’ve heard this before. By all means, it is a pretty good album. It’s just not as good as it could, or rather should, be. Words by Yoko Ono
Das Racist Relax 2.5/5 with mixtapes 3.5/5 without mixtapes Remember when music used to be fun? Das Racist do, or at least they did. The Queens rap outfit’s first two ‘mixtapes’ – Shut Up, Dude and Sit Down, Man – walked the fine line between smart and dumb. Heems and Kool AD are clearly smart guys that aren’t afraid to be completely irreverent to the point of stupidity, but in the midst of all that silliness they were capable of dropping jawdropping, brilliant rhymes. The problem with that irreverence is that the moment you start taking yourself too seriously it loses all impact and I get the feeling that with their debut album Relax they’ve lost their way. Sure, there are still great lines – Heems shouting “I’m fucking great at raaappinngggg” in the middle of first single Michael Jackson is amazing, if on the dumb side of things – but there’s nowhere near the consistency found in the mixtapes. Add in the inclusion of Rainbow in the Dark off Shut Up, Dude – one of the best tracks on that mixtape but totally unnecessary on the debut - and the total waste of time that is Booty in the Air and, if you’re a fan, you’ll be left pretty disappointed. If you haven’t heard the mixtapes, start with Relax and if work backwards – you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Words by Liam Ducey
Words by Liam Ducey
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