Teaching kids values this Christmas. Elaine Halligan

The festive frenzy of gift buying

Elaine Halligan explores how to give children the gift of gratitude this festive season

Bringing up children in a materialistic world is a big challenge for parents. We want them to be appreciative, value their possessions and have a real sense of gratitude. We know they have so much, yet it is difficult not to spoil them at times.

Also many of us worry about being deluged with unopened, discarded, and neglected toys after Christmas. We feel victims to consumerism - where do all the toys come from and how on earth did we gather such a collection? We are all too aware that too much plastic and extensive packaging is ruining our planet. Our children’s generation are increasingly aware of the effect of climate change and enabling them to understand they can have an impact by just taking one little step to reduce consumerism, is very persuasive.

We seem to forget that to a toddler nothing is more appealing than some wooden spoons, pots and pans or a cardboard box to play in! Old fashioned crayons and paper can provide hours of endless fun and creativity and provide the richest experience allowing imagination to grow, creating more focus and better problem-solvers.

Why do we do it?

Pester power can be challenging to deal with, especially if we haven’t got a toolkit of positive parenting skills to know how to be in charge.

Most parents are time poor, and as such don’t want to spend it always saying “no”, don’t want their children to be sad, want to seem like the ‘nice’ mummy or daddy.

The solution?

Get clarity on your values and practice saying ‘No’. Your child will survive the initial disappointment, but it’s harder to reverse the impact of being spoiled.

Separate children’s WANTS from their NEEDS. They may want a pair of Nike trainers or the latest iPhone, but what they need is to understand that acquiring material things gives short term gratification.

Get clarity on your values and practice saying ‘No’

So if your issue is too many toys/ possessions

• Set up the one gift practice - given on behalf of the whole family to each child at

Christmas, not presents from every auntie and uncle.

• Try the ‘FOUR GIFT RULE’ - children get something they want, something to wear, something to read and something they need. Simple and effective.

• Donate and Rotate - clear out of your toy cupboard WITH the children, setting aside favourite toys and ones to pass down the family. Donate the rest to your local charity shop or family centre. • Put toys away for a month at a time - it’ll renew interest when they come back out and avoid overwhelming choice. Too many toys out at once makes it difficult to choose, not to mention the chaos and mess.

• Set up a SWOP SHOP with other parents.

Every child brings along three toys to swop and they get to play with the toys for the week. A constant source of new toys at no extra cost!

• Make it easy to tidy up - Ensure all toys have their rightful place. Invest in some good storage units and make them easy for the kids to access.

• Get out and about and be creative - Be aware of the impact of the digital world on our children’s ability to use their imagination – if they’re always looking for the next electronic stimulus, they will get bored easily and find it hard to play independently.

• Set up Friday Family Fun Nights and let your collective imagination run wild. Have a disco in the kitchen or a torchlit safari in the lounge where you hide all your children’s favourite toys around the room – turn off the lights and provide them with torches to hunt down the animals on your make-believe safari.

• Get back to nature and get the children out to the local park or common. They will love kicking the leaves, exploring the undergrowth, finding bugs and playing with dirt! n

Elaine Halligan teaches parenting strategies to create a happier healthier future generation, of confident and contented children.

theparentpractice.com

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