My ELife Magazine April May 2016 by DPI Graphic Design

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FROM THE PUBLISHER/EDITOR

The Power of Vision Should we pray for the defeat is ISIS or their conversion? Submit your answer today. Your response or opinion can help someone that’s dealing with the above topic.

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The importance of social media for businesses. With the advent of social networking, social scientists and media experts have wondered about the benefits social networking brings to communication. While some of these are obvious, some others have only become apparent as users have become familiar with social networking. The ability to increase our networking potential or work with others regardless of distance presents new ways for us to do business. Furthermore, the ability to stay in contact with friends and family allows us to maintain closer ties to our loved ones across long distances.

Many people have lofty ideas about things they would like to accomplish for God but they seem to have no sense of how to see the dream fulfilled. There is power in having a vision. A man without a vision is a man without a future, which therefore will always cause him to return to his past. Vision is the bridge between the present and the future which gives us purpose. Those without vision spend their lives taking the path of least resistance as they try to avoid discomfort. The level of sacrifice that a vision requires will determine the size of people who follow. Sacrifice separates the small from the great. Vision is what we see, but it is also is the way we see. It is the lens that interprets the events in our life, the way we view people and our concept of God. Our eyes are the windows of our heart. We perceive with our eyes but see Derek Miller, Editor with our hearts. Our minds & Michelle Miller receive images from our eyes but our heart interprets these images. True Godly vision consists of foresight, insight and oversight. Foresight is like looking at life through a telescope, which allows us to know what is ahead as it connects us to our future all while giving us motivation. Insight is like viewing life through a microscope, which gives us understanding of why things happen in life, it also helps to determine the underlying motivations of the heart. Oversight puts life into context, it’s like flying over a city in a helicopter. A vision from the Lord creates a mission from Heaven. The first part of accomplishing any vision is to take it from the unseen world and bring it into the natural realm. This can be accomplished simply by writing down the vision. Articulating the vision on paper pulls the dream that is in your sprit/mind (only you can see) into the visible world. Secondly, create a plan to accomplish the mission and after the plan is established, goals must be set (Philippians 3:14). Always keep in mind that no vision is ever too small or too big! ■ MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

SHOULD WE PRAY FOR THE DEFEAT OF ISIS OR

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PUBLISHER’S NOTES HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS MAKE MONEY FROM HOME

ESTATE PLANNING POLITICAL Q&A COMMUNITY

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COVER STORY COMMUNITY FOOD FOR THOUGHT CHURCH DIRECTORY

ON THE COVER: pastor Curtis Friday and Lady Shameka Friday

My E Life Magazine

You Can Love People Without Approving Their Decisions By Jarrid Wilson

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336-323-8091 President / Editor Derek Miller Director of Marketing Mike James

ou can still love people without approving their decisions and/or way of life.” Every time I open up the Bible, I cannot help but notice the number of times it commands us to love the people around us. We’re told to love our enemies, our neighbors, our spouses and the world alike (Mark 12:31). But while the Bible is pretty crystal clear on relentlessly loving those we come across on a daily basis, it seems that many of us have come to make justifications as to why we don’t need to showcase love the way Jesus intended us to. I’ve heard everything from, “But, they might think I’m affirming their actions” to “They’re just not a nice person.” And while I understand where these people are trying to come from, it still doesn’t give them the right to withhold love from anyone, let alone those who are broken and in need of it the most. The love of Jesus has no bounds, no limits and no expectations. It just loves. If you call yourself a Christ follower, then you are called to reflect the same image followed by the same intensity. You want people to see Jesus when they see you. You want people to find comfort in your presence, forgiveness in your heart and love in your soul. You want people to feel like they can confide in you without being criticized and judged irrationally. You want people to know that your words, even if in opposition of their opinion, will be shared in love. “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” —1 John 4:8 This isn’t an easy task, but it’s definitely an honorable one for all Christians who are willing to pick up their crosses daily. We’re called to love people no matter where they are from, what they’re doing or how messed up they really are. You can still love people without approving their decisions and/or way of life. You can speak truth but still do it in a loving and compassionate way. How do I know this? Because Jesus did this all throughout scripture. “If we have got the true love of God shed abroad in our hearts, we will show it in our lives. We will not have to go up and down the earth proclaiming it. We will show it in everything we say or do.” —Dwight L. Moody

Contributing Writers Greg Baker Donna Nealy Rotimi Oluwaseyitan Mike James Skyler Spencer Michelle Miller Layout / Graphic Design DPI Graphic Design To Advertise Call 336-323-8091 Submissions are welcomed. Please send stories and ads to info@myelifemag.com My E Life Magazine P.O. Box 13502 Greensboro, NC 27415

MY E LIFE magazine reserves the right to deny any or all advertisements that go against our standards. We are at no means connected or affiliated with any advertisements. No part of any publication may be reproduced without written permission from the authors. The opinions and articles not written by My E Life magazine staff do not necessarily represent our views.

www.myelifemag.com SAVING SOULS, MAKING DISCIPLES

Love well. ■ MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Bishop Harold Farr, Jr. and First Lady

How to become a Christian

SPONSORED BY:

New Life Faith Outreach. 3114-B Corbett Rd. Pleasant Grove, NC 27302. 336-253-2121

The Ball Is In Your Court "Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations." (Jeremiah 1:5). God tells Jeremiah that He "knew" him before he was formed within the womb. He already knew Jeremiah's strengths and weaknesses. He already knew that Jeremiah would possess what God wanted to use during this particularly trying time of Israel's history. What does this mean to us? After all, we are not prophets like Jeremiah. No, but we are human beings created in God's image like Jeremiah. God knew each of us; what our strengths and weaknesses; abilities and limitation would be. It is up to us as to whether we will accept God's will or not, just as it was up to Jeremiah. God is not a controlling God; He gives use choices. Deuteronomy 30:19 says “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice

you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! Will you accept Him into your heart today? If so repeat these words and say “Lord Jesus, thank you for touching my heart and giving me the choice to receive you. I do believe that you are the Son of God and that you shed your blood and died on the cross for me. I ask you now to forgive me of all the wrong I have done, and to make my life new in you. ■

Congratulations! You are now a Christian (a follower of Jesus Christ) 2 Timothy 2:3 says, “You therefore must endure hardship as a Soldier of Jesus Christ.” No one said the Christian life would be easy or without challenges. God’s promises are forever established in Heaven. So even if our situations and circumstances are difficult, we must think “above the clouds” and know that God is still there.

Now therefore allow God to connect you with a Bible teaching ministry and let your light shine for Christ! 6

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Addiction and mental illness is devastating for those who suffer and people who love them. But there is a solution—TREATMENT & RECOVERY.

ur service is designed to serve those who, as a result of their substance abuse and mental health treatment needs, are unable to benefit from participation in academic or vocational services in a traditional school or work setting. These interventions are designed to reduce symptoms, improve behavioral functioning, increase the individual's ability to cope with and relate to others, promote recovery, and enhance the client's capacity to function in community based services. Triad Family & Children’s Services’ nurturing and respectful environment provides the optimal setting for clients and families to focus on making physical, emotional, and behavioral changes that build lifelong recovery. Our model of care is defined by individualized treatment planning, clinical integration, respect for the dignity of each client,

and open, comfortable surroundings. Addiction and Mental Health treatment at Triad Family & Children’s Services begins with a comprehensive, individualized plan developed by an interdisciplinary team of clinicians who meet regularly to review and modify each client’s plan as needed, with the client’s goals in mind. The client’s treatment plan is influenced by a variety of factors. Recommended levels and types of care are based on the addictive substance or mental illness, term (time span), family history, existence of co-occurring illnesses, physical health, stability of home and work environments, and many other variables. Tailoring treatment in this way ensures each client the most effective approaches and the best opportunity for recovery. ■

Currently offering Individual Counseling, Group Counseling, Couples/Marriage Counseling, Family Counseling, Alcohol & Substance Abuse Counseling, Mental Health Counseling, Assessments, Diagnosis, Treatment & Goal Planning, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Person Centered Therapy, SA/MH Court Involvement Assistance, Return to Work Counseling, Employer Referred Counseling, Probation Referred Counseling, DWI/ DUI Counseling, Crisis Contingency Planning. In addition to our counseling services, we also assist clients in addressing Life Skills, Homelessness, SA/MH related DSS Involvement, Relationships, Parenting Related Issues, Job Training, Education directly and/or via referrals & connections to other needed services.

YOUR MISSION IS OUR MISSION The overall mission is to provide quality prevention, intervention and treatment services leading to improve mental and physical health, wellness and stability. We want to partner in your journey to recovery and maintaining your healthy lifestyle. Triad Family & Children’s Services understands that recovery from addiction and mental illness also involves rebuilding relationships with family members and friends. We also have staff and systems in place to work with clients and family members in receiving education, guidance and support in hopes to a promote a healthier way of life and rebuild healthy, stable relationships.

TRIAD FAMILY & CHILDREN’S SERVICES 4407 Providence Lane Ste A Winston Salem, NC 27106

336-986-9787 triadfamily@aol.com triadfamily.org

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RELATIONSHIPS

Your Sexual Past Doesn’t Make You Damaged Goods By Paul Maxwell Provided by Desiring God

alking about sexual history with the person you’re dating can go wrong very quickly. It can turn a healthy dating relationship into a game of manipulation and control in a millisecond. When sexual history is revealed, both parties may feel betrayed for different reasons. Every sentence takes on the cadence of a threat—an ultimatum. Every question can land like a left hook. “I thought you loved me.” “It’s dealt with in Christ, so why is this so hard for you?” “What grief or concerns am I allowed to express?” Dealing with sexual history can turn intimacy into a battlefield, and affection into a tangled web of recorded wrongs—of power plays and sharpened blades. I’ve been on both sides of this conversation. I allowed insecurity to take the driving seat. I allowed my ego to become the thing I protected and cherished, rather than the valuable and vulnerable image of God in front of me. Rarely do two Christians have the proper tools to defuse the conversation. Dating is an unstable kind of relationship—it either ends in a marriage or a breakup. A sexual history only complicates matters. It can make us nervous, cautious, withholding, unsparing, unforgiving and bludgeoning. But, by God’s infinite and mysterious grace, it can also be an event for mending, for excavating, for cherishing, for learning—if we have the courage. The twin emotions of dating with a sexual history are embarrassment and impatience. Embarrassment, because you feel exposed and judged as you feel the weight of the other person’s purity. Impatience, because you want to let the past be the past, and refuse to be rejected and discarded for a past with which you’ve dealt diligently with the Lord and the church. Embarrassment “I’m sorry.” “I can’t tell him.” “What if she breaks up with me?” There are a few practical things to remember for those embarrassed by their sexual history. First, don’t play the comparison game. Lack of a sexual history does not equal purity of heart. That’s just not the way the heart works (Matthew 5:28). Nor does lack of sexual history bring rela-

tional security. To seek the person with the “cleanest” story is an attempt to control a future—it’s not a search for holiness, but a divine coup d’état, striving to micromanage our own safety and power. It can also belittle the sovereign and sanctifying grace of God. Your history says less about you than an accuser might have you believe. If you’ve truly put your hope in Jesus Christ, and given yourself to a lifelong pursuit of his holiYour sin has been ness, your history canceled and cannot condemn you anymore. covered in Jesus Second, guard Christ your own heart (Colossians 2:13) against another’s manipulation. Your past sins were not against your partner in a way that allows them to coerce you into more sexual immorality. Yes, your sin has real-time implications for them, and you may eventually need to apologize for it. But David insists of God, “Against you, you only, have I sinned” (Psalm 51:4). That means: Don’t let embarrassment over your sexual history give your partner the power to take advantage of you— perhaps even in a sexual way, to “make up” for the deficit they feel they have measured against your past relationships. You do not owe them anything. To insist on anything more is the work of the Liar (Proverbs 19:22). Often, shame can be a seedbed of further sin. It is essential to be aware of that. Third, your sin has been canceled and covered in Jesus Christ (Colossians 2:13). The violent and irreversible victory that Jesus Christ wins over death and guilt speaks the final word on your sin: “Little children … Forgiven” (1

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John 2:12). Let that be the lens through which you understand yourself and your past. Any other voice, even one that has been hurt or offended or threatened, does not get the final word. You are deeply loved and cherished (Ephesians 5:1). God has a plan for you, no less than for any other (1 Timothy 1:16). You are not a second-class citizen in the kingdom. You are not a second-rate option for a Christian spouse. You are a child of God, and he does not punish past sins with circumstantial hardship. He punished your sins, sexual or otherwise, on the cross. “He was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).

Impatience “This is my past. Deal with it.” “Why can’t you just get over this?” “It’s not a big deal. Just trust me.” Your partner has a reaction to your past: They’re hurt and insecure, and they’re asking an overwhelming number of questions. Their hurt feels resentful, bitter, judgmental, dismissive and unwarranted. Embarrassment can make you feel cornered and enraged. Their insecurity feels like a prophet of your rejection and humiliation. Fear lies at the root of the worst sorts of frustration and impatience. There are a few things to keep in mind. First, previous reactions people have had to your sexual history don’t dictate how the next boyfriend or girlfriend will receive it. Give them the very benefit of the doubt that you want from them (Luke 6:31; 1 Corinthians 13:7). Second, be patient with them (1 Corinthians 13:4). It will be hard. If it wasn’t hard at all, that would be just as alarming. They are confronting a lot of thoughts, fears and imaginings in their own heart that will be difficult to wrestle through. Again, this can make you feel judged, afraid of being left, and trigger old feelings and fears. Love them by giving them space and time to wrestle. Work against letting the conversation become a me-versus-you conversation. Don’t try to win a fight. Try to win your brother or sister in Christ: “A gracious woman gets honor, and violent men get

riches” (Proverbs 11:16). Get honor. Third, guard yourself from pushing the envelope physically in order to level the playing field—that is, to give them a sexual past that you can hang over their head. This is epitome of selfishness, and the height of sin’s deceit, attempting to deal with your own guilt by drawing others’ into sin with you. Do not repay “anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another” (1 Thessalonians 5:15). Don’t let the haze of shame or pain or insecurity become the ground for walking into more sin. “May God grant us, the guilty, mercy to receive his good gifts as from a Father who loves us.” Fourth, be sure that your past really is your past. Are you still indulging daydreams about past sexual encounters? Are you justifying flirtatious encounters with other women while courting your current partner—favoriting on Twitter, messaging on Facebook, intentionally going to their favorite coffee shop? If so, the woman you’re dating has every right to the uncertainty and insecurity she’s expressing. You don’t have to be perfect to date. Perfection is not a qualification for love. But integrity is. Make sure that you are experiencing real victory and progress in your personal purity before you begin dating and try to have these difficult conversations with someone. Duplicity at the outset or foundation of a marriage is a road to destruction: “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them” (Proverbs 11:3). Fifth, pray for your partner (1 Timothy 2:8)—that God would give them gracious words to say (Luke 4:22), that God would give them a sober understanding of their own sin (1 Timothy 1:15; 1 John 1:10), and that the love between a brother and sister in Christ would be strengthened and more deeply glorifying to God (2 Thessalonians 1:3). Love Without Expectation of Return At the end of the day, the person you’re dating may not be able to handle your sexual history. They may walk away, and that would be perfectly within their Christian freedom. You could pout and ponder their shortcomings, but the cold concrete reality is simply this: You are facing the real-time consequences of your past sins. God is not judging you. He is not implementing a law of karma in your case. David Powlison puts it well: “God builds reapwhat-you-sow into the inner workings of how He runs His universe” (Innocent Pleasures). You’re going to be OK. It hurts badly. But God walks us through things like this for our good. If he allowed us to be twisted without repercussions, we would all have spiritual nerve damage—getting burned and bruised because we can never feel the pain of dangerous choices. Against all the awful things we might feel about ourselves, God gives us three things when we are rejected because of sexual history. He gives us honor, healing and hope. He gives us honor, because we choose to love out of the love that we have received, and not for selfish gain. “For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?” (Matthew 5:46) To love without reciprocation is to feel the pangs of SEXUAL PAST - CONTINUED ON PG 11

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INSIGHT

What Failure Really Means For Your Success And Purpose In Life

here's a lot of information on the web today written by well-meaning teachers which implies that failure is something bad but you just have to find a way to accept it and deal with it. A lot of people who claim to have your best interests at heart will often say life is hard and you just have to accept it. None of these ideas are fundamental truth and if you've resigned yourself to accept them as such then it's highly unlikely that you'll get a chance to create an effortlessly thriving lifestyle even with all the modern opportunities that have now opened up. To break this old and ignorant view of life, permit me to share with you what experience and the keen study of the laws of mind have taught me. Firstly, life is goodness and it is full of wonder, abundance and joy that is only awaiting your recognition. You are more than just a physical human being and you're certainly not out of your mind. You are individualized spirit eternal, magnificent, full of greatness and infinitely abundant. You came into this physical body already rich beyond measure but, the quality of life you get to experience in this life you've been gifted with is very much determined by the idea and belief about life that your mind holds as truth. So while fundamental truth shows you are already rich, intelligent, successful and so on, your perceptual truth is what will become your daily reality whether it matches fundamental truth or not. The work you have while on this human journey is to make sure that you align your personality - little mind with the universal mind. That you align your personality with your soul's purpose because living from that perspective allows your mind to expand and hold a bigger vision - a bigger cup that allows more of the living spirit to flow and express in bigger, better, bolder and more beautiful ways. Where does failure come in?

Well, failure is only feedback letting you know that you are deviating from the success path that is naturally yours. It's a spiritual alarm clock that is meant to wake you up. When someone calls you and the phone rings and vibrate, do you sit there staring at it feeling sorry for yourself? Of course not! You know that it's a signal you need to respond to if you wish to receive the message that is being transmitted to you on the other line. Although this is a trivial example, it's not too far from how I want you to start looking at any seeming failure. You need to take it as a signal that's either helping you gain more clarity about what you really want or it's helping you figure out the real and true path that will lead you where you wish to be. There is nothing big about failure, and it's totally unnecessary that we tend to blow it out of proportion and use it to make life appear negative, unjust or hard. In our dualistic world, failure is in perfect harmony but we need to recognize it for what it really is otherwise we make it our worst enemy by giving it power that does not belong to it. So take your feedback, see it for what it is and learn the truth about life and yourself. The misunderstanding of failure, much like that of being grateful for everything in your life needs to be cleared up before clarity and freedom can set in. Anyone who tells you to be happy about failure or to give thanks for actual evils in your life is still asleep and misses the whole teaching. You cannot feel good about something bad. You cannot feel good about being a looser or failure. Your mind just wouldn't accept it! And so of course there has to be a deeper meaning when we speak about being grateful at all times for everything. This deeper meaning and understanding is what you need to touch and internalize. When you do Psychology Articles, you'll finally start to see why success is all there is and what failure really means in your life. ■

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YOUR SEXUAL PAST CONTINUED FROM PAGE 9

Jesus whom we rejected. To trust God enough to love and not be loved in return is to be counted with Christ, and there is honor in that kind of faith. God gives us healing, because he does his best work in brokenness. At any moment, God can weed out thorns of impurity that choke the life within you: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3–5). God is doing that in you (Philippians 2:12–13). When you ask, “What is God up to in my life? Why is he ripping this relationship away from me?” The answer is clear. He is healing you and cleansing you. He has not placed a verdict of lifelong guilt on you. No condemnation (Romans 8:1). For now, and just for now, he is simply (and painfully) healing you. He gives us hope because, with each new day, God charges himself with our care: “Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good” (1 Peter 4:19). No mourning is outside the scope of God’s good plan for you. If you get married, it is by the hand of the same God who called you from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. If you get married, it is by the same kind of decree that created the universe. If it’s God’s will for you to be married, then you are on an unstoppable crash course for marriage. And if you’re rejected by another person, that, too, is within God’s loving and merciful will for you. Trust God today, and recognize that because he created time, that time is on your side. If you are rejected because of your sexual history, trust that it is not some arbitrary wound, but that it is a cog in God’s very orderly and detailed plan for your joy-filled life. May God grant us, the guilty, mercy to receive his good gifts as from a Father who loves us. ■

read an article about how to obtain wealth and happiness and I feel like it was completely on point. We have all heard the saying “ do what you love and you will never work another day”. The article pointed out that loving what you do not necessarily doing what you love is the key. You may say what’s the difference. You may do something that you love but you may not do it well and there may not be a market for that skill or hobby. Loving what you do means, whatever you are skillful at and something that you are currently getting paid to do can have a greater yield if you love it. One of the keys to making money from home is to bring love to something you are currently getting paid to do that you can do from home. As believers bringing love to what we do is a practice of our faith. 1 Corinthians 10:31 sums it up. We are to do it all to the Glory of God. Finding that skill set and bringing the love of God to it allows us to do things in a certain way. Bringing all power to what we do guarantees that we will be successful. When people start saying you were born to do something it’s because you are bringing the love of God to what you do. Like us on facebook at www.facebook.com/4riversofeden Get the inside information by texting the word “ increase” to 90407 Let’s keep the conversation going.

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ESTATE PLANNING

Wills vs. Trusts:

What’s The Difference?

veryone has heard of wills and trusts. Most articles written on these topics, however, often presume that everyone knows the basics of these important documents. But, in reality, many of us don’t – and with good reason – as they’re rooted in complicated, centuries-old law. Let’s face it, if you’re not an estate planning attorney, these concepts tend to remain merely that – concepts. So, if you’re “fuzzy” about wills and trusts, know that you are not alone. After we show you the difference between these two documents, we’ll tell you why a trust is the better choice. Wills vs. Trusts: Defined Let’s take a minute and define both “will” and “trust”: Will. A will is a written document that is signed and witnessed. A will is considered a "death" document as it only goes into effect when you die.

pacity  allows for the management of your property – even if you’re incapacitated  can address appointing disability guardians for minor children  often includes protective trusts for beneficiaries and tax planning  permits you to revoke or amend your wishes during your lifetime  costs more than a simple will on the outset but much less upon administration, while typically providing significantly more value

The Probate Process: A Key Element in Deciding Between a Will and Trust Debra Ragin Jessup One key element in deciding beEstate Planning Attorney tween a will and a trust is understanding the probate process. The Jessup & Probst term “probate” – which literally 301 North Main Street, Suite 2222 Winston-Salem, NC 27101 means “proving” – refers to the A will: Telephone: 336-721-9090 process wherein a decedent's will debra@jessupprobstlaw.com  provides for the distribution of assets owned must be authenticated, outstanding by you, but not assets directed to others legitimate debts paid, and assets through beneficiary designations (e.g. life insurance or transferred to the beneficiaries. retirement benefits) The downside is that probate can take a long time - even  sends assets in your individual name or payable to your years - it’s expensive in many places and the entire process estate through the probate process is completely public, meaning your nosey neighbor Nancy  allows you to appoint permanent guardians for your miand evil predator Paul both know exactly who got what and nor children how to contact them. In virtually all cases, the only upside  names the person you wish to settle your estate (e.g. exof probate is that creditor claims are cut off. ecutor or personal representative)  Probate Guaranteed. If you use a will as your primary  doesn’t always include protective trusts for beneficiaries estate planning tool, you own property in your individual and tax planning because many wills are simple 2-3 page name, or property is made payable to your estate, probate documents is guaranteed.  permits you to revoke or amend your instructions during  Probate Avoided. If you use a trust as your estate planyour lifetime ning tool, probate is avoided - saving your family time  tends to cost less than a trust on the outset but costs more and money. to settle during court proceedings after death The Bottom Line on Wills vs. Trusts HOW TO DECIDE: As everyone’s situation is different, Trust. A trust is a legal document, signed and witnessed, it’s important to analyze every aspect of your situation – and effective during your lifetime, during any period of and what the future may hold – so that you can determine disability, and after death. Because the trust is effective durwhat’s right for you and whether probate avoidance, incaing your lifetime and you can change it, it’s referred to as a pacity planning, and trust protections have value to you and "living" document. those you love. Most people receive the greatest overall benefit from having a trust. A trust: ACT NOW: Without an estate plan in place, you and your  has lifetime benefits family are left completely unprotected. Will or trust, get the  provides for the distribution of your assets advice of a estate planning attorney, pick one, and do it  avoids probate if fully funded now! ■  provides for a successor trustee upon your death or inca-

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INSIGHT

Christianity Without Repentance Isn’t Christianity By Jarrid Wilson

REPENTANCE

What is intended to be a gift has become something Christians cringe at when hearing.

he word repent is one that God who gives us the opportunity to admit our failures and doesn’t sit too well with many choose to turn away from our selfish ways. Repentance is a people around the world. What gift not a burden. There is an unfathomable liturgical exis intended to be a gift and perience when one finds the humility to turn from their opportunity to encounter the ways and seek forgiveness in the grace of God. grace of God has now become The basic definition of repentance is: to turn away from something individuals cringe something or change your mind. Nothing more and nothing at when hearing. I blame those less. Repentance is all about seeking forgiveness for the wielding bullhorns and picket mistakes and downfalls we’ve found ourselves in the midsigns for the mess that has dle of. When we repent, we are telling God we put his become of repentance. And while this liturgical exwill above our own. perience may have a bad reputation due to the idiRepentance itself was never meant to be prootic actions of others, we must understand that moted in a way of fear-mongering and Repentance is repentance itself one of the most vital parts of hate, but instead of love and excitement all about the Christian faith. Without it, a relationship for the life and grace that God brings turning away with God isn’t possible. when we decide to turn away from our from our fleshly Repentance is all about turning away from selfish ways (Acts 3:19). desires... our fleshly desires, and instead clinging to the “Repentance grows as faith grows. Do not beauty and supremacy of God’s will. There is make any mistake about it; repentance is nothing to be ashamed about in admitting you’ve not a thing of days and weeks, a temporary messed up. Repentance bridges the gap between our penance to be got over as fast as possible! No; it failures and God’s forgiveness. That’s the beauty. It’s the is the grace of a lifetime, like faith itself. God’s little chilgateway to new life and an unrelenting relationship with dren repent, and so do the young men and the fathers. ReGod. pentance is the inseparable companion of faith.” —Charles You and I must stop viewing repentance as a burdenSpurgeon some I have to, and instead realize it’s an undeserved I get Let’s take a moment to renew the way we see repento. We must understand how lucky we are to have a loving tance. ■

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Women in Ministry by Yvette Nietzen 1 Timothy 2:11-14 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. The controversy continues with women in ministry, but not to the same degree as in the past. If you have paid attention, you see plenty of women pastors, ministers, blogs and websites. Women all over are promoting their ministries, myself included. The verse above is one that is quoted often, mostly by men, to make their stand against women in ministry. But what does the scripture say? I will share with you what I have learned, by a man in the highest ministry position. The word says that God has made the husband the head of the wife, not the man the head of the woman. The words man and woman in the Greek are the same words used for husband and wife and may be translated either way. Therefore, when a woman asserts any kind of ministry or authority in the presence of her husband, she does it under his authority and permission." I have seen marriages where the woman has a far greater ministry potential than her husband, and the husband may feel threatened and unsure of himself, and does not allow his wife to minister. The bottom line is, who suffers when this happens? The Body of Christ. When a woman exercises her spiritual authority, she is functioning under her husbands' covering and protection. If a woman is not yet married, that covering and protection should come from her pastor or spiritual father. In either case, the man has the final authority, and if the woman ministers under him, she does it under his authority.

We also need to read between the lines. Paul states "I do not permit" He does not say, "God does not permit." This was his personal stance on the issue, and as a spiritual father over the churches, he had authority to do so. We also need to understand when God places a calling on someone, he is not looking for a man or a woman to do the job. God is looking for willing vessels. When it comes to receiving gifts of the Spirit, there is no gender involved. God does not call men pastors, women prophets, men evangelists and so forth. When I minister, I do not see myself as a woman. I see myself as a willing vessel, carrying out what the Lord has called me to do, under His anointing. Many women see themselves foremost as women. I believe that by doing this, they limit themselves. If women see themselves as appointed by God, willing vessels, then the possibilities are endless. As I minister, I have the protection and covering of my husband. I am under his authority, and I have full permission to minister. But what does a woman do when confronted by a man with the verse quoted above? First, she has to be sure of herself and have a strong conviction in her calling. Second, have him take it up with her husband, pastor or spiritual father. God calls and uses willing vessels, even a donkey. Remember, He is no respecter of persons. ■

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POLITICAL

A President after Gods own heart by Vallyn Fleming

re we building a nation after God? Christians are starting to ask this very question. Listening to the presidential debate for the 2016 elections has us wondering what happened to the American Christian dream. This country was built on a Godly foundation, hints to the "In God we trust" labeled on our mighty dollar. We believe that many of our goals and ambitions would be fulfilled if we have a leader after God's own heart. As Christians, we go to leaders of our church when we need pastoral counseling, when we need someone who will make us accountable for our decision-making. As we know, election time is coming around and like most people feeling indecisive, we know one thing, if we look at the candidates in the running, we should look for essential godly characteristics. We should also ask ourselves who will lead this country to success and its people to Christ? The scriptures tells a story about two men, David and Goliath in 1 Samuel 17 (KJV). The bible describes Goliath as a champion. It then goes on to say that he was full of strength. "He had a helmet of brass and he was armed with a coat of mail," but oh, here comes David, the son of Ephrathite who took care of his father's sheep, had the utmost respect for his dad and did not do as everyone else did out of fear for Goliath--the philistines. He knew about the challenges he would face battling against the big and strong Goliath but David was a man of God. Who could "killeth" such a man. A leader who represents Christ shall never be defeated! When David told his people-Israel of his plan, no one believed in him; in fact, they told him that he was too young and that Goliath had been fighting since youth. David said, "The Lord that delivered him out of the paw of the lion and out of the paw of the bear, would also deliver him from the hands of the philistines. When it was time for battle, David took off Saul's armor, took Goliath's own sword and cut off his head, and the philistines ran. You see, he trusted in the God who rescued him time and time and time again. We as Christians need to trust in the Most High God when it comes to our leaders. We cannot vote simply because it is the right thing to do as an American. If we don't see a leader who will represent this country as "David" represented Israel, what's the point in voting? Christians should not be persuaded to choose someone that comes close to the mark on Christian values. If the future president believes that we should all unite and have one big religion, women should have the right to choose between life and death, gay marriage is a marital union, cheating the system is not wrong if you are trying to make things a little better, poverty and high unemployment must exist, and racism is an issue but if kept hidden, no one will notice, we should question their character and use sound judgment before we vote for this person. Proverbs 29: 2 (KJV) touches on leadership, it states: "When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: But when the wicked beareth rule, the people groan." So I ask you, before you make the decision to go to the polls and vote for a leader who will represent this country, what are you voting for? Do not go against your core beliefs because you are afraid of how you will be perceived by the world. As Christians, we should not stand for worldly views but we should stand for the things that are right and true. If you want to vote but are constantly questioning both candidates' moral and religious beliefs, are they worth voting for? I would rather vote for a man of God then vote for a man of this world. ■ MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

COVER STORY

Who is Pastor Curtis Friday and Lady Shameka Friday

and where did this Love Church come from?

Pastor Curtis Friday was then she was introduced (affectionately known as Pasto Christ and HTFGBC. tor Curt) is a man of God who Learning so much and loving stands on the word of God. the ministry, she requested Born in Winston-Salem but her mom take her to church quickly moved to the projects even once she went back to of Baltimore Maryland, Pastor live with her. Around the age Curt was exposed to life on the of 12, her witness rubbed off streets. Having parents who on her mom who then gave were not married and who had her life to Christ and joined struggles of addiction, he and the ministry. She continued his brothers were moved back to develop as a young lady to Winston Salem. Separated for Christ determined to folfrom his brothers Pastor Curt low God and the ordinances moved around with his dad’s of the church. She gained a family until his mom was able strong foundation in Christ to get back on her feet. She that kept her through some of made the best decision for her the hardest relational years of boys and moved on the north high school and college after side of Winston Salem where having fallen to curiosity and Pastor Curt was introduced to temptation at the age of 13. Pastor Curtis Friday and Lady Shameka Friday Holy Trinity Full Gospel BapUnwavering in her desire to tist Church. Although he got have a man after God’s heart involved in the ministry and she maintained her vow. made personal connections, the streets would draw him After one Sunday evening service she was approached by back. Having a love of music Pastor Curt began rapping Pastor Curt and after a few months of developing a solid with a group all around the city and indulging in illicit befriendship the two began to date. And on April 1st, 2016 havior such as recreational drugs and sex. After two trips to they celebrate 10 years of marriage! jail and facing a 30 year sentence, Pastor Curt decided it After separating from their home church in 2009, the two was time to stop fighting and submit to Gods call. In 2004 were determined to move forward together exploring Gods he truly gave his life to The Lord and returned back to desire for their lives. And after a brief membership at anHTFGBC. Shortly after, he put his sights on one of the other local church Pastor Curt felt a tug from The Lord. young ladies of the church he had previously in his teen He felt the pastoral call to reach the unchurched and hurtyears attempted to woo…. ing by showing them the love of God he experiences daily. Lady Shameka Friday was born and raised in Winston Young or old, the word “For God so LOVED the world, Salem to a 15 year old mother and a 16 year old father who that He gave…” has no boundaries. After writing the viat the time didn’t want to accept her. Having a big loving sion and sharing it with his wife the two set out on a misfamily she almost didn’t realize that piece that was missing sion. In December of 2010 Pastor Curt reached out to Pasin her life. Due to her mom’s young age and determination tor Mike McClure Jr of The Rock Church in Birmingham, to make a home for her, at the age of 7 Lady Friday went to AL who he had admired from afar. Spending New Years live with a surrogate grandfather and his family for a year weekend talking with Pastor Mike who opened his heart to while her mom established herself for the two of them. It this couple, they soaked in all the knowledge of starting a

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church from nothing. Spending their whole ride home making plans of how to make this dream a reality, Pastor & Lady spent the next week in prayer. On January 9, 2011 they hosted a vision meeting in their home with five friends and on January 16th, 2011 The Love Church was formed. Spending a few weeks in their home the group worshipped, planned, and was imparted with vision and bible from Pastor Curt. Soon after the couple took the team to Birmingham to experience what they had been exposed to. And encouraged by Pastor Mike, Pastor & Lady Friday went to their first Gathering of The Shepherds Pastor and Leaders conference in March 2011 hosted by Dr. R.A. & Lady Victory Vernon and The Word Church in Cleveland, OH. After a year of interaction and additional trips to Cleveland, The Vernon’s would become spiritual parents to Pastor & Lady Friday. The Love Church has since welcomed over 500 in membership and has outgrown its three previous locations. With God at the core, he and his wife, along with the 17 faithful leaders and over 75 ministry servants, has built the

ministry on the basis of being real, relevant, and relational. They find pleasure in every opportunity to reach in and bless the members of TLC as well as reach out and bless the community. Holding dear to a quote Pastor Curt learned from his spiritual father that “people don’t care how much you know til they know how much you care,” the church treasures the moments they are able to give back such as yearly turkey giveaways, periodic homeless shelter feedings and donations of basic necessities, $5,000 gas giveaway, and even blessing a member with a car. Just this past Easter the church raided two grocery stores in the area & blessed shoppers by paying their bill equaling $5,000 in total giving. The church is determined to use their resources to bring Matthew 25 ALIVE as they understand that God chose them for such a time as this and as they say it “WiiGET TO SERVE!!” Pastor Curt personally thanks every person that has ever graced the doors of TLC, said a prayer, or sowed a seed. While enthused to serve as the Senior Pastor of TLC, he honors the privilege to serve as husband and father to his wife and daughter Lateria Potter. He understands that ministry starts at home!

TLC Community Give-away! Being one of our 6 mantra’s of TLC and the 2nd of our Bedrock principles, WiiGIVE rings loud from the church each Easter and throughout the year. In light of Easter, and the representation that Jesus GAVE His life for us, on Good Friday April 3, 2015 TLC took over the Wake Mart gas station, near the church, on the corner of Cherry Street and Polo Road for a few hours to GIVE away $5,000 in free gas. Members of the church

were stationed at every pump as cars rolled in from the cherry street entrance. Each car received $20 in gas and window washing. Along with the gas GIVE away, the church surprised a member of their congregation with a Suzuki Vitara Crossover. She is a faithful single mother in the congregation who fell on hard times when her car broke down in 2014. Despite her lack of transportaCONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE ►

Wake Mart Gas Station, site of the Gas Give-A-Way. MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

THE LOVE CHURCH COMMUNITY GIVE-A-WAY ◄ CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS PAGE

tion she still made it her mission to come to the church during the week for janitorial services as well as attend all services. This year the church did something a little different. Pastor and Lady Friday along with some of the church leadership team went out to Food Lion grocery stores blessing random shoppers by paying their grocery ▲►Suzuki Vitara Crossover given to bill. Nearly $4,000 a faithful member from The Love was given away at Church. ▼The Love Church pays for three different groceri stores. Along with meeting the physical need, team members also took the opportunity to witness the love of Christ to shoppers, encouraging them that our Lord & Savior is watching over them and watching out for them and just like He made a way for their grocery bill to be paid, He can do the same in EVERY area of their lives. TLC believes that as Christians and as a church, we should strive to be like God and the word says “For God so

LOVED the world that He GAVE….” Pastor & Lady Friday is so grateful for all the members of the church that give because it’s every $1 of tithes and seed that allow the church to give back. The Love Church is determined to be a church known for loving and giving to our community to bring Matthew 25 Alive!!! ■

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MEET THE PASTOR

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Q – Should Christians VOTE? A – ABSOLUTELY! Christians should vote for leaders in government. It is our right as citizens of this country and we should execute that right. We do know and understand that God is certainly in control, but that does not mean we should do nothing to further His will. We are instructed to pray for our leaders (1 Timothy 2:1-4). Concerning politics and leadership, there is nothing wrong with Christians being aware and knowledgeable of politicians who govern our country (i.e., counties, cities, towns, states, etc.). However, there is indication in the Holy Writ that God has been displeased with our choices of leadership at times (Hosea 8:4). Sin’s grip on this world and its degradation in the world is evident everywhere. A great deal of the sufferings and struggles on earth is because of godless leadership (Proverbs 28:12). As Christians, we are commanded to obey legitimate authority unless it contradicts the Lord’s commands (Acts 5:27-29; Romans 13:1-7). Again, Christians should vote as led through prayer and study of both God’s Word and the realities of the choices on the ballot. I encourage everyone to pray and even fast seeking the God on the vote you will cast this year. Do not be discouraged by the long lines! Please make it to the polls on November 8, 2016 to cast your ballot. For

information see 1 Samuel 12:13-25; Proverbs 14:34. Q – How to reach young people – The Millennials? A – The Great Commission, try it! It really works! In Matthew 28:18-20, there are four things Jesus requires: 1.) Sending, 2.) Training, 3.) Preaching and Teaching, and 4.) Reaching the World. The difference between young people and momma and grandma is technology. Young people are centered around cell phones and social media. In other words, use what they (young people) normally do to reach the young people. I know you may be saying, “Bishop, I’m too old to text and I do not do Facebook.” If you want to reach young people, this is where they are. Become knowledgeable of and familiar with the various sites via social media (i.e., Facebook, Twitter, Periscope, Instagram, Web-ex, Youtube, etc.) In short, meet the young people where they are. Take Jesus and the Church to them. You may ask, “Bishop, where are they?” Facebook, Twitter, Periscope, Instagram, Web-ex, Youtube, Mailchimp, Devohub, etc. All the above and I know some of these sites seem to be misspelled but this is where your young people are. This is just a reality, face it! ■

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COMMUNITY

Should We Pray for the Defeat of ISIS or Their Conversion? By Russell Moore “At the same time, praying for the salvation of our enemies, even those committing the most horrific of crimes, is not a call to stop praying for justice against them.” A pastor friend told me last week that he had church members enraged with him when he suggested from the pulpit that we ought to pray for the salvation of Islamic State terrorists. The people in his church told him that he ought to be calling for justice against them, given their brutal murder of Christians, not for mercy. I thought about my friend a few days ago when these murderous fiends beheaded 21 of our brothers and sisters in Christ because they refused to renounce the name of Jesus. I was not just angry; I was furious. Can such fury co -exist, though, with the Sermon on the Mount (Mat. 5-7)? When we pray about such evil, how should we pray? The complexity of the Christian calling in the world was seen even in social media. One friend of mine posted that the slaughter of Christians overseas calls for the world’s only remaining superpower to take action. Another said, quoting singer Toby Keith, that it was time to “light up their world like the Fourth of July.” To that, I say, “Amen.” Another friend, a former student of mine, posted, “Oh, that there might be an ISIS Saul standing there now, holding the cloaks, whose salvation might turn the Arab world upside down with the gospel!” To that I say “Amen,” too. These are not contradictory prayers. Jesus says to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us (Mat. 5:44). The Spirit of Jesus in the prophets and in the apostles also tells us that those who turn a blind eye to the killing of others are wrong. The fact that we feel contradictory praying both for justice against the Islamic State and for salvation for Islamic State terrorists is partly because we fail to distinguish between the mission of the state in the use of the temporal sword against evildoers (Rom. 13:4) and the mission of the church in the use of the sword of the Spirit against sin and death and the devil (Eph. 6). But that’s not, I think, the main problem. The main problem is that we sometimes forget that we are called to be a people of both justice and justification, and that these two are not contradictory. It sounds awfully spiritual, at first blush, to say that we should not pray for the defeat of our enemies on the field of battle. But that’s only the case if these enemies are not actually doing anything. This terrorist group is raping, enslaving, beheading, and crucifying our brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as other innocent people. To not pray for swift action against them is to not care about what Jesus

said we should seek, what we should hunger and thirst for, for justice. A world in which murderous gangs commit genocide without penalty is not a “merciful” world but an unjust horror show. As Christians, we ought to be, above all people, concerned with such justice. We not only have the common grace standing of caring about stopping murder and injustice, rooted in the image of God and the law written on the heart, we also have the personal implication here. It’s our household being wiped out in the Middle East, the very place where our church started. For us, this isn’t a matter of “they”; it’s a matter of “us.” At the same time, praying for the salvation of our enemies, even those committing the most horrific of crimes, is not a call to stop praying for justice against them. The cross, after all, is not forgiveness in a contemporary therapeutic sense—in which one is merely absolved of wrongdoing as though it were all a misunderstanding. No, that’s precisely the Apostle Paul’s point in the Book of Romans. The gospel does not say, “Don’t’ worry about it; it’s OK.” The gospel points us to the cross where sin is absorbed in a substitute. God’s righteous condemnation of sin is there. He does not, and cannot, enable wickedness. And God’s mercy is there in that he is the One who sends his Son as the propitiation for sin. He is both “just and the justifier of the One who has faith in Jesus” (Rom. 3:26). The gospel doesn’t leave sin unpunished. Every sin is punished, either at the Place of the Skull, in Christ, or in the judgment of hell, on one’s own. The thief on the cross—a Middle Eastern terrorist by Rome’s standards—in his act of faith did not believe that his salvation exempted him from justice. He confessed that his sentence was just, and that he was receiving “the due reward for our deeds” (Lk. 23:41), even as he cried out to Jesus for merciful entrance into the kingdom of Christ (Lk. 23:42). We ought, indeed, to pray for the gospel to go forward, and that there might be a new Saul of Tarsus turned away from murdering to gospel witness. At the same time, we ought to pray, with the martyrs in heaven, for justice against those who do such wickedness. Praying for the military defeat of our enemies, and that they might turn to Christ, these are not contradictory prayers because salvation doesn’t mean turning an eye away from justice. We can pray for gospel rootedness in the Middle East, and we can pray to light up their world like the Fourth of July, at the same time. We are, after all, the people of the cross. ■

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COVER STORY

Why Singleness is More than Waiting for Marriage By Jennie Pollock As Christians, we must see being single as more than just a phase to get through while waiting for "real life" to begin. When I left Unit with a good degree but no job, I followed the promptings of that “still, small voice” and became a teacher on a missionary ship sailing around the Caribbean and Central and North America. It was a two-year commitment, and I had a great time, made some lifelong friends, saw some amazing sights and generally had a great sort of double gap year. Toward the end of my commitment, I was recruited to join a music ministry in the same missions’ agency (OM). I worked with them first in London then in Atlanta, Ga., being effectively a tour manager for a Christian band. We traveled extensively in the U.S. and Europe, and also did tours in Canada, South Africa, Australia and Turkey. I loved it. I was totally in my element: loving my work, loving my boss, loving the team, loving the travel, loving the new friends I made around the world. It was so much fun, and all for a great purpose, which made it even more worthwhile. I did it for eight years. And somewhere in the middle of it all, I suddenly realized something: I was still treating it like a gap year. I was thinking of it as the thing I was doing before my life really started. The life where I was married, living in England, paying the mortgage on a nice little house in a suburb somewhere, taking care of our 2.4 kids. My real life. The life I had always expected and wanted. I realized that because I thought this wasn’t really it, I was letting it pass me by and not really making the most of it or engaging properly with it. Everywhere I went, everything I did, I did like a tourist. I absorbed the experience without letting it touch my life—and without my life touching it. Why am I telling you this? Because I think our cultural attitude to singleness—particularly within the Church—is similar to my attitude to my life in OM: It’s fun, but it’s not the real thing. It’s the phase you have to get through while waiting for your real life to start. Sorry, but I have news for you: This is your real life. You need to start living it. When I pitched a post on singleness to

Danny Webster for his blog, I was going to call it “Waiting Well.” I was going to talk about how, while you are single, you should not be consumed by the desire for a relationship, because that can easily slip into idolatry, seeking a mate with all your heart instead of seeking God. I was going to advise you to focus on becoming the person God is calling you to be, not only because it is the most satisfying path and a generally good thing to do but also because when you do meet that special someone, you’ll have something genuine to bring to the relationship. This is all still true and worth mentioning. I was also going to say the best thing you can do is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. This is always worth repeating. As I thought about it though, I felt my emphasis was wrong. Calling the post “Waiting Well” implies a preparation phase before the real thing, and that’s how many sermons on the subject tend to approach it, but that is not a helpful mindset. Marriage is not the thing that will ultimately fulfill you. It is wonderful, and I look forward to mine, in faith that God will keep a promise made long ago, but your wedding day is neither the end of your story (as Hollywood tells us) nor the beginning of it. It is a transition, sure; a major scene-change, the start of a new act with new characters and new scenarios, but the months or years of singleness before it aren’t prelude. They are not the bit where the orchestra warms up; playing notes and scales you don’t really have to listen to before the real thing starts. They are the real thing. If your perception is this is just a phase you have to get through, marking time before the real thing starts, you won’t engage with it properly and are liable to wake up one day, as I did in Atlanta, and realize life has drifted by. If you are single, you are living in God’s best for you right now. You’re not missing his will for your life. You’re not in the second-best role. You aren’t waiting for his plan to start; this is it, it’s started. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Stop waiting and start living. What are you going to do with the time God has given you? ■

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Gives a Powerful 3-Min Sermon About Trusting God–Not People By Brian Orme Steve Harvey delivered a powerful message about faith on his morning radio show–pleading with his listeners to stop putting their faith in people and start putting their faith in God. This 3-minute segment is a bold reminder to anchor our hearts in Christ, not circumstances, people or material things. Only God can guide us through life’s struggles. (Steve Harvey is a television and radio host, comedian and actor. You can find him on ‘The Steve Harvey Morning Show,’ ‘Steve Harvey’ the talk show and ‘Family Feud.’) The following is a full transcript of Harvey’s message: “Man, if I could tell you anything this morning, it’s to stop putting your faith in people, and put your faith in God where it counts the most. I mean, you can get something out of this one. “See, here’s the deal about a relationship with God. It’s the same all the time. He never changes. His word is 100 percent absolute. His word doesn’t have loopholes in it. None of that. This is what it is. He’s very clear. “Now, you can deviate off your end of the bargain, but it don’t stop what He says from being true. But if He asks you to do something, if God asks you to be a certain way, to do a little something a certain way and you don’t do it that way, then, you know, you could still possibly get by for a while, but don’t you understand that His end of the deal stays the same? And as long as you’re not doing it the way you’re supposed to the results are not going to be what you want it to be. “And I did this for years and years and years. And I counted on people. I got myself in a lot of situations, and I got out of one at just the end of last year, a dire situation that I had been in for a number of years. But He had protected me for years prior to that. I didn’t even know what was going on. Then He made me aware of the problem in 2008, and then man – Lord have mercy – I was in a dismal situation. And then, at the end of the year, I was free, free from it all. But it was a decision that I had made that led up to that. “In going through that process I had to learn something, man. I learned a lot about people. “See, if you want to learn about your friends, if you want to learn about your people, people around you, get yourself in some trouble. Get yourself in a situa-

tion. Oh man, you start looking around, man. The field get real clear when you in trouble. The field clears out when you in doubt, when you don’t know what to do, when you need help. It get real clear on the playing field then don’t it? “Oh, but when things are going right, it’s time for a party. We throwing a celebration. We going to do one down here. “Oh man, there’s plenty of people on the field, but get yourself in a situation. You find out rather quickly that oh no, oh no, everybody ain’t here, and that’s when I started learning. “I’m telling you. I had to start learning this for real until I finally got it – to stop putting my faith in people and put all of mine in God where it counts the most. “Now, is that to say that there are people that you can’t trust? No, that’s not what I’m saying. I ain’t saying you can’t trust them. But you can’t dump your faith in them. “I got it all riding on what he say. I got it all riding on what she say. “No. No. Huh-uh. No. I hear you saying it, but I’m going to keep my eye on this situation because I hear you saying. But I’m going to take this faith of mine, and instead of putting it in people, I’m going to put it in God where it counts the most.”■

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Russell Funeral Home, Inc. 822 Carl Russell Ave. Winston-Salem, NC 27101 Phone: 336-722-3459 rusfhome@bellsouth.net

Losing Your Mother

osing your mother can be one of the most difficult losses to deal with. We are going to cover the 5 stages of grief over the next few issues but for right now we will look at the first two. The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. Not everyone goes through all of them or in a prescribed order. Our hope is that with these stages comes the knowledge of grief ‘s terrain, making us better equipped to cope with life and loss. At times, people in grief will often report more stages. Just remember your grief is an unique as you are. DENIAL Denial is the first of the five stages of grief. It helps us to survive the loss. In this stage, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. We go numb. We wonder how we can go on, if we can go on, why we should go on. We try to find a way to simply get through each day. Denial and shock help us to cope and make survival possible. Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature’s way of letting in only as much as we can handle. As you accept the reality of the loss and start

to ask yourself questions, you are unknowingly beginning the healing process. You are becoming stronger, and the denial is beginning to fade. But as you proceed, all the feelings you were denying begin to surface. ANGERAnger is a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. There are many other emotions under the anger and you will get to them in time, but anger is the emotion we are most used to managing. The truth is that anger has no limits. It can extend not only to your friends, the doctors, your family, yourself and your loved one who died, but also to God. You may ask, “Where is God in this? Underneath anger is pain, your pain. It is natural to feel deserted and abandoned, but we live in a society that fears anger. Anger is strength and it can be an anchor, giving temporary structure to the nothingness of loss. At first grief feels like being lost at sea: no connection to anything. Then you get angry at someone, maybe a person who didn’t attend the funeral, maybe a person who isn’t around, maybe a person who is different now that your loved one has died. Suddenly you have a structure – – your anger toward them. The anger becomes a bridge over the open sea, a connection from you to them. It is something to hold onto; and a connection made from the strength of anger feels better than nothing.We usually know more about suppressing anger than feeling it. The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love. ■

MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Business Power Team

FIRST CLASS AIRPORT & SHUTTLE SERVICE There's a new TRANSPORT SHUTTLE service in town called "FIRST CLASS". It's a Christian owned and operated business, with his wife working along side of him. Our company’s mission is to provide SAFE transport service to a small group of important travelers on a "First Class", basis. Our customers will travel in a twelve passenger luxury van to and from their destinations. We offer all types of transports services such as all North Carolina local airports, train & bus stations. We offer day trips, wedding party transports, corporate company outings, winery tours, team sports, individual transports and also couples night out. The cost of all transport fares are negotiable. We also provide round trip or one way shuttle to all destinations. We hope you allow us to provide you with your next safe transport shuttle need, Until then, "FIRST CLASS", it's the only way to go! Irvin Payne- President /CEO P.O. BOX 1447 | Clemmons, NC 27012 336 661-5790-P | 336 766-9207- F FIRSTCLASS369@GMAIL.COM

TRINITY STUDIOS ENTERPRISE INC Roslyn Payne of Trinity Studios has been in operation since 2000. We are a Christian owned and operated business. We specialize in EVENT PHOTOGRAPHY. At Trinity Studios we believe our customers needs are of the upmost importance. Our entire team is committed to meeting those needs as we offer you our products and services. As a result, a high percentage of our business is from repeat customers and referrals. Some of our services we provide are weddings, family portraits, birthday celebrations, team photos, corporate head shots, family reunions, baby dedications, pastors portraits, and so much more. Our products we provide are custom CD'S and DVD'S, enlargement photos, canvas photos, custom photo books, and so much more. We would love the opportunity to earn your trust and deliver you the best service in the photography industry, Call Trinity Studios, WHERE A SMILE INCREASES YOUR FACE VALUE! Roslyn Payne- CEO/President P.O. BOX 1447 | Clemmons, NC 27012 336 661-5790-P | 336 766-9207-F ISMILE@TRINITYSTUDIOSRLP.COM-EMAIL WWW.TRINITYSTUDIOSRLP.COM -WEBSITE NOTE: First 50 Customers who schedule your next Transportation Shuttle with First Class will recieve a FREE photo! Call either of above numbers.

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6 Excellent Reasons to Talk About Money From the Pulpit By Brandon Cox If you don’t want the church to teach about money because it’s “none of their business,” you should change the way you see it. As a pastor, I’m well aware of how many people have the assumption that “all pastors want to talk about is money.” The funny thing is, after 20 years in ministry and communicating regularly with thousands of pastors, I can firmly assert that talking about money is one of our least favorite things to do, especially in our culture where personal finances are very … personal. But the Apostle Paul wrote to a younger pastor in Ephesus named Timothy once and told him to “teach and urge these things … there is great gain in godliness with contentment … but those who desire to be rich fall into temptation … for the love of money is the root of all evil. … As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches” (1 Timothy 5:2-17 ESV). In other words, good doctrine (which literally means “teaching”) demands that we address the issue of money. Here are several reasons why the church NEEDS to talk about finances … Money is a gift from God to be managed for a season,

Top 10 Gospel

not an earned commodity to be consumed for pleasure alone. How we use money is a matter of worship—it demonstrates our values and what is important to us. It’s pretty obvious people NEED help in this area— we’re strapped and stressed because of terrible management. Generosity is a key value of the Christian life, for the church and for the individual Christian. Money needs to serve the needs of man and the causes of justice, rather than man serving under the tyranny of money. Money makes missions happen, which is God’s chief business and area of concern—the spread of the gospel deserves to be resourced. If you don’t want the church to teach about money because it’s “none of their business,” you should change the way you see it. Nobody in the church (at least not my church) wants to see your budget or bank statements. We simply want to help people get healthy financially and become generous with our resources so that everyone experiences God’s blessings. In other words, my church doesn’t want something from you, we want something for you. ■

02 Worth Anthony Brown & group therAPy

03 Intentional Travis Greene

01 Wanna Be Happy? Kirk Franklin

04 123 Victory Kirk Franklin

05 I’m Yours Casey J

06 The Anthem

07 Put A Praise On It Tasha Cobbs Featuring Kierra Sheard

08 I’m GoodWorth Tim Bowman

09 Like No Other Byron Cage

10 You’re Mighty J.J. Hairston & Youthful Praise

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Spiritual Dr. Antwain Tate Goode

Collaboration at Home! The importance of shared motivation to obtain family goals!

n order for families to capture off the roof top opportunities, new insight will be needed into motivation. As noted by Casey and Robbins (2010) evidence suggests fitting the job to the person and not the person to the job may stimulate motivation. At the same time we often use our talents and abilities to serve individuals or organizations that do not fundamentally align to our purpose. This creates hesitation for individuals to perform with their best attitudes. We as leaders must recognize and evaluate our family teams to ensure we are working in our individual swim lanes and not crossing over into another family member’s area. It is to say that other family members are more than capable of performing and leading in their respective sector. Roles within our families can change at any moment due to job relocation, educational workloads, health related issues, or lack of financial resources. Specifically, family teams should consider tactics such as goal orientation, as it may help family team become more successful toward hitting targets. According to Lee, Tan and Javalgi (2010) leaders often overlook goal mastery and its affect on employee commitment. As a matter of fact, the same can be applied to families and we must take the time to ensure the goals that are set for our families are attainable, agreed upon, and challenging. Proper goal alignment at home will create happier attitudes toward team collaboration. In sum, as family members examine motivation and goal setting through shared perspectives, families will capture more off the roof top opportunities! Stay family motivated, find out who is good at what, let them do it, and together stretch toward the mark! 1 Corinthians 9:26 “I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step”

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CHURCH DIRECTORY

Looking for a place to worship? Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. Hebrews 10:25 LIST YOUR CHURCH IN OUR CHURCH DIRECTORY 336-323-8091 FOR DETAILS CONCORD, NC

GREENSBORO, NC

HIGH POINT, NC

New Life Baptist Church 1281 Biscayne Dr. Concord, NC 28027 (704) 782-6215

Bethel AME Church 518 Spur Rd, Greensboro, NC 27406 (336) 674-8431

Oak Grove AME Zion Church 300 Lawrence St, Greensboro, NC 27406 (336) 274-3166

Life Changing International Church 1217 E. Green Dr. High Point, NC 27260 (336) 882-1611

New Birth Sounds of Thunder Christian Center 2300 South Elm Eugene Street Greensboro, NC 27406 (336) 324-7902

St Philip A M E Zion Church 1330 Ashe St, Greensboro, NC 27406 (336) 272-1301

Williams Memorial CME Church 3400 Triangle Lake Road High Point, NC 27260 (336) 883-7330

HIGH POINT, NC

WINSTON-SALEM, NC

Calvary Baptist Church 808 Hilltop St, High Point, NC 27260 (336) 889-6441

Emmanuel Baptist Church 1075 Shalimar Dr, Winston Salem, NC 27107 (336) 788-7023

Bethania AME Zion 1705 Bethania Rural Hall Rd, Winston Salem, NC 27106 (336) 924-1706

Friendship Baptist Church 715 W Willis Ave, High Point, NC 27260 (336) 882-9429

Gospel Light Baptist Church 890 Walkertown Guthrie Rd, Winston Salem, NC 27101 (336) 722-9700

New Jerusalem Missionary Baptist 1705 1212 N Dunleith Ave, Winston-Salem, NC 27101 (336) 723-9743

YOUR CHURCH COULD BE HERE!

Greater New Hope Baptist Church 906 Meredith St, High Point, NC 27260 (336) 887-6877 New Horizons Baptist Church 622 N. Hamilton Street High Point, NC 27260

GET RESULTS! ADVERTISE TODAY 336.323.8091

Greater Faith Missionary Baptist Church 1354 N Trade St, Winston Salem, NC 27105 (336) 727-8844 Mount Zion Baptist Church 950 File St, Winston Salem, NC 27101 (336) 727-0117 Greater Praise Delivery at Quality Inn Suites 2008 Hawthorne Road Winston Salemn NC

MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091