2 minute read

the Smudges are the BADGES of HONOR in PARENTHOOD

My kids are no longer babies and we are now entering the season of parenthood known as "dealing with tween and teens." But it truly does seem like only yesterday that I was wiping bottoms, noses and other body parts that needed tidying up.

There were the times when they were little that I swore we all had “the cold that wouldn't leave,” and fluids ran like rivers, especially noses. I remember one time when my wee newt of a child had an exceptionally runny shnoz and, being the chief nose mopper, I moved in to assess the situation.

First thing I asked was if she needed something to wipe her nose on, as I reached into my pocket for a tissue. By the way, carrying Kleenex on every part of you that can support a pocket when your kids are little is in the Mommy Contract. It's the line that reads, "We pledge to always have tissues in our pockets."

She promptly replied, "Yes," leaned over, and wiped her nose on my shirt.

Was I mad? Nope. Because I knew it was simply another part of the Mommy Contract known as The Wearing of The Smudge. When your kids are infants, you will find The Smudge on the shoulders of every shirt you own. You might as well get used to this new fashion accessory and wear that baby spit-up stain with pride cuz honey, it's gonna be around for a while.

Then you graduate to the Butt Smudge. Butt Smudge comes from sitting down in whatever your toddler slopped on the front seat of the car or in your favorite easy chair. If you're lucky, some kind soul will tell you about your Big Giant Butt Smudge before you parade it around in public too much. But the reality is, you won't discover Butt Smudge until laundry day when you hold up your pants, look at the seat-end and go, "What the heck is that?!"

Thank goodness for laundry pre-treaters and the sanitize cycle on the wash machine.

Then comes the glorious years of the Shirt Tail Smudge. These are usually mucus driven with an occasional sticky treat smudge thrown in. What mom isn't guilty of doing an emergency face wipe with the only handy item ... the hem of your shirt? In extreme moments of panic I've even been known to spit on my shirt and wipe their little faces with that. I am fairly certain that is in the Mommy Contract as well, under Acts That Mortify Our Kids.

A bit of a disclaimer: when it comes to the Shirt Tail Smudge, repeated wardrobe changes may be necessary due to frequency of wiping and what we will just call, "crusty build-up." I knew it was time for a change when the corners of my shirttails started standing up on their own like Mr. Noodle's tie on Elmo's World.

But at the end of the day, I would never forgo those moments of little sticky-chocolatey lip-prints and unidentifiable substances on my clothing. As moms, these marks are like the kiss of mommyhood, a symbol of pride and a badge of honor. A badge that announces to the world, "Yes ... I have boogers on my clothes. I am a mother. And I am proud." It's a privilege I continue to cherish and one that I hope I never lose.