ROAD TO FREEDOM
Surrendering while Incarcerated
Blessed Magazine February/March 2013 Volume 2
SELF STIMULATION Is Masturbation a Form of Sin?
MARRIAGE Keeping it holy even after saying “I Do”
ARTIST SPOTLIGHT
TRAIN UP A CHILD! Are We Failing as Parents?
Introducing
J. Elizabeth Hardges Ordinary People Living Extraordinary Lives through the LOVE and POWER of Jesus Christ
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BlessedMagazineContents 13 Self Stimulation: Is Masturbation a Form of Sin? 16 Relationships: Keeping it Holy even after saying “I Do” 20 Train up a Child: Are We Failing as Parents? 29
24 Building God’s Kingdom 27 Artist Spotlight: Introducing J. Elizabeth Hardges
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29 Free CD Offer: Living in FEAR 30 Road to Freedom: Surrendering while Incarcerated
26 30
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Thy Word have I hid within my heart so that I may not sin against thee My Motto My Life
Self Stimulation
SIN? Is Masturbation a form of
As a Christian, what do we do when the desire for sexual gratification arises in our life? Many Pastors will instruct us that our minds need to be steadfast on the Word of God and these desires will be far from us. Churches today have set up barriers in regards to sex and made it impossible for anyone to discuss. But the problem still exists and some Christians are at a loss of what to do No where in the bible does it say anything about how to suppress or satisfy these feelings when we are faced with them. It is clear that fornication is not allowed in the life of a Christian because it is sinful and punishable unto damnation. Adultery is found and outlined that anyone who having
by Jonathan Beckmon
sexual intercourse with another person's spouse other than your own spouse, is a sin. These statements from the bible are true and clear, but what the bible doesn’t reference is what to do when faced with sexual desire as a single Christian Many will say that having the desire for sex is a sin and that we should sustain from any sexual pleasure until we are married, while others feel that it is an emotion from God, but no matter what we may think, the reality is that sex is real and very present in our lives. The question is as a single Christian, what do we do when the urge is over bearing? Continued next page
So now we get down to business and explore what we can do and what is allowed. Let’s discuss self masturbation. Nowhere in the bible does it say anything about satisfying yourself in the privacy of your bedroom. We researched the word ‘masturbation’ and ‘self stimulation’ and neither of these words was found in the bible. Is it safe to assume that this is not a sin? In 1 Corinthians 6:19 it states ‘know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?’ Interpreting this scripture would signify that what we do with our body is a direct reflection of the God that we serve. Great, so our question has been answered or has it? The argument still remains that the desire for sex is an emotion such as anger, love and joy and like these not easily turned off
A female responder to a recent poll stated she felt no wrong in satisfying her sexual urge while using a vibrator. She further stated that using her device was not a form of fornication and therefore God should not have a problem with it. Evidently she is correct. Using a vibrator is not a form of fornication, but is it an act of sin? Sin is defined in the bible as ‘unrighteousness’. Unrighteousness is defined as “failure to adhere to moral principles” Masturbation is an act of self satisfaction, so is it morally indecent to perform? Masturbation is not mentioned in the bible, so was it an oversight or was it a free course for Christians to indulge in to remain holy without committing a sin? Since scripture does not forbid masturbation directly, neither should Christians But, here is the part of masturbation that is sin. Masturbation becomes sinful when
when we incorporate fantasies and/or lust for another. Matt 5:28 states ‘That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart’. But what if no illicit fantasies are included in masturbation? Is the act then sinful? By scripture, there is nothing to indicate that it is. Therefore if a Christian states they take part in masturbation to avoid sinning, then should God have a problem with it? Should Christians have a problem with it? From Scripture, as the Vandruffs outlined, the line not to be crossed is the line of illicit imagination. And what a line! Minus the sinful fantasies, which are the fuel for most masturbation, all the fun and zest would be taken out of it. Thus, it would no longer be a topic of interest to you or anybody, any more than the act of going to the bathroom. It would be just "doing what was needed" to keep the body from exploding from within This is a topic that can continue on and on, but let’s be perfectly clear about one thing; everyone will have a different outlook concerning masturbation and that’s acceptable, but each of us must work out our own soul salvation. We must live holy before God in our own bodies. This might mean masturbation is alright for me and may not be alright for you, but what we can’t do is judge or condemn one another because of our belief. In conclusion, we cannot condone or prohibit anyone regarding masturbation, but what we can tell you is seek the Lord for guidance and direction On a final note; I was taught that if you have to question if something is a sin, you have already answered your own question. Let you conscious be your guide. Usually if you are having doubts about a topic, then you should refrain from the act
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Keeping it Holy even after saying “I Do” Story by Karen Owens
Marriage is honorable unto the Lord and keeps a soul from entering into sin and eventually damnation. Although marriage is a union blessed and ordained by God, as Christians we must remember to keep our marriage holy at all cost. The word marriage is not a license for lustful activity against the body of Christ. Our bodies are to remain holy and any act with our spouse is to remain holy and acceptable to God Many marriages are built on the foundation of lust which leads to the gateway of sin. What God created to be a holy union, Satan has corrupted it to be a den of sin and even though you are married does not give you free will to do such acts such as defying the body of your spouse. Over the course of many years, lustful acts of sexual conduct have raided homes. As Christians it is our duty to uphold the standards of purity in and out of the bedroom. Such acts as bondage, domination, incorporating toys and positions like the infamous sixty-nine are all corruptible attributes of Satan Many will say ‘what I do in the bedroom is my business,’ and for this matter you are correct, but, is it acceptable unto God? This subject has lead to many arguments between Christians, but the bottom line is ‘do not defile the body.’ Lust is lust and love is love and the two cannot co-exist Lust is not love in any sense of the word. Love is giving to another in spite of how you feel; lust is taking from someone or using another person, with no commitment. It's the highest form of selfishness, always wanting to satisfy one's own desires. A person who lusts continually looks for someone to fulfill their requirements. Many of times they will define their search for someone who fits their criteria such as in looks, pretty or handsome, smart, rich, popular, etc. Lust is a relationship of: how can you please me; what can you give me or do for me. It's a one-sided relationship on their terms where the person with lustful spirits is always in control Continued on page 19
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It is Satan’s job to turn everything good of God into something horrible and our bedrooms are not off limits to him. In order for marriages to remain holy, we must include God in all things. We’re not saying to ask God to be in our beds, but what we are saying is to ask God to suppress, take away lustful thoughts of indecency that the enemy brings to our minds. And, with this also we must refrain from watching certain television shows and movies which have explicit sexual scenes. Let your mind be clear of any corruption and when we are confronted with any indecent thoughts, pray earnestly to the Father An email received from a young man who recently was married. He stated that his spouse wanted him to perform an act in which he was not accustomed to and that if he loved her, he would do what he could to satisfy her. The young man was horrified. Nevertheless, their honeymoon ended abruptly and now they are in counseling to discuss these issues. Counseling before marriage is important, especially in today’s society. Counseling provides the opportunity to discuss such issues to be clear of what each party is expecting in a marriage and this includes the bedroom as well ‘Try it out before you buy it’ the term society uses in regards to living together to discover if two people are compatible. Another sinful attribute derived from Satan. God did not intend for us to try it out, but rely on His direction in every aspect of our lives. There are so many deceitful ways conjured by the enemy. We must be prayed up and living our lives according to God’s Word to recognize these tricks Seek God and His Will for your marriage. God will bless it if you allow Him to. Keep the bedroom undefiled and holy while being aware of lustful thoughts that could creep into the bedroom if you are not careful
Pick up a newspaper or turn on your television and you will see corruption. What’s more shocking is when a child is involved. Not as the victim, but as the perpetrator. Where has our society gone wrong? Many blame television, video games, books and magazines, but the real blame is on us parents Our lives have become so busy trying to make a living that we have taken our focus off family, our children and our children are suffering. Decades ago, women stayed at home and nurtured the children, but now due to economical reasons, both Mom and Dad must seek employment to care for a household
with no guidance other than that of books, television or friends. Where there is no guidance, there is no discipline In the scriptures, it states ‘train up a child in the way that he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it’. This scripture was not written for the people of old, but was sound instruction to all parents in this decade as well as the past. Children need guidance. Children need discipline. Parents need to step into their roles as parents and teach the children I can’t begin to tell you how saddened I am about our children. They are carrying guns, drugs and committing all sorts of crimes
Children are practically raising themselves, Continued next page
Are We Failing as Parents?
Story by Jennifer Saenz
Gang membership is at its highest. Our children are out of control and the blame is not society, but we the parents! I remember growing up that church was not an option, but a necessity and as long as I was under my parents roof, eating their food and sleeping in the bed they provided me, I was to follow them to church whether I wanted to or not. In a recent poll, we asked over 100 individuals if church was an ‘option’ or a ‘necessity’ and more than 75% answered a ‘necessity’ However, today, children are being left at home while the Mother goes off to church and the Father stays home to wash the car or watch sports on television. There are those that will drag their child to church, but that number is constantly dwindling Parents are just not involved in their children’s lives as they should be. Parents don’t attend school meetings or functions; don’t get involved in what’s going on in their child’s life; therefore making the child feel neglected and unwanted which eventually lead to seeking love and a sense of belonging from peers However, we face an even bigger problem today, single parenting which has been described as the number one reason for most issues of our society. Divorce is so common these days that when you hear about a couple tying the knot that you can almost guess how long they will stay together before ending up in divorce court. Today, however, we will not discuss single parenting, but focus on the issue of training our children in the way of holiness to win them back into the realm in which they should live First, as parents we need to include God
in our lives and in our home. No family can thrive without the guidance of the Lord, no matter how hard you try. God must be present! Second, there’s love. As parents, we must every day display and speak love to our children. Our children need love and not in words only, but they need to feel our love through an embrace, involvement in their life Third is quality time. So many families do not sit down together for dinner. Dinner time is very important to bond with one another and to discuss the issues of the day and accomplishments. Read the bible together, watch a movie or play a game. Quality time is vital for unity and growth of a family Fourth is guidance. Children need to know what’s morally right and wrong. They need to understand that the rules in the home are to be followed without resentment or remorse. Parents should enforce these rules to every child and not provide leniency for one child over another. Your word must be bond. Never argue with a child, but be open to listen Continued on page 23
Code 37 Paris Remembrance is Everything
Fifth is discipline. Just as God will discipline His children if they sin against Him, so must a parent provide discipline to their children if they break a rule. Discipline should be the same for everyone if the same offense is committed. Discipline should not be in the form of abuse, but as an act of correction providing guidance in the right direction Sixth, listen to your children. One of the saddest things is to hear a child try to explain something to a parent only to hear the parent say ‘it doesn’t matter what you say, what I say is law’ As parents we must be open to listen to our children and understand how they are feeling and after listening; sit down and discuss the issue with them. If you don’t have the time to effectively listen at that particular moment, then let your child know and both of you agree on a time to sit down and discuss, but keep your word and meet with them Seventh, show your support. Children need to know that no matter what issues they face in life that they will have the support of their parents. I remember counseling a young girl and she stated to me that when she grows up she wants to be a singer, but that her parents were against the idea and had been pushing her towards being a nurse. That bothered me tremendously. Our plans for our children’s lives may not be what they desire. As parents, we must show them support to make their own way through life and be there for them in success and failure
Family has the strongest bond in the world, but if we are neglectful in teaching our children right from wrong and don’t include the Lord in our home and lives, we will fail and in failing turn our children over to lead a life that could lead them to prison and/or the morgue
‘And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability’ (Matthew 25:15). Talents are gifts given to each of us from God. God doesn’t just give us these talents for our own use, but to enhance and build His kingdom What’s ironic about this topic is that some of us use the talent that God has given us to benefit our lives with no regard to Christianity. Take for example the gift of music. Many popular artists such as Whitney Houston, Celine Dion and Michael Jackson all made millions singing secular music, but none of their talent was used to further the kingdom of heaven
In the parable of the talents, when the master of the house returned, he called his servants and inquired what each had done with the money they received. Just like in this parable, so will we be called to answer what had we done with the talent God has gifted us with. As the parable states, the first two men used their talents and gained double what they had started out with. The third, however, buried it in the ground and thus his master was very displeased with him. He was called “wicked” and “lazy”. This may seem harsh to us, but what can we learn from this story?
Building God’s
We can learn that God has given us each different talents and abilities that he expects us to put to good use. We shouldn’t hide these talents and bury them in the sand as the third servant did but instead we should use our talents and abilities for the glory of God Many of us have talents that we hide because of fear or just not knowing what to do with it. Like the servant who answered his master and stated how he hid the money and the master took his money and gave it to the servant who had five talents, so will God take our talent away if we don’t use it for His glory Whatever our talent is, whether it’s teaching, singing or being blessed to serve in God’s house, if we don’t know how to use it for God’s glory, all we have to do is simply pray unto God and He will guide you God needs our commitment to build His kingdom with all our heart, mind and strength. We don’t need to be afraid to use the gift He has given us and remember, God will place no more on you that what you can bear, but if you don’t use the gift He has given you, He will remove it from you and give it to another
KINGDOM
My intent is to inspire the common man to keep pushing... keep pressing and know that GOD is MORE THAN ABLE TO GIVE YOU AN EXCEEDING, ABUNDANTLY ABOVE LIFE!!! To encourage that man to develop and attitude of gratitude and in everything to give thanks for this is truly GODS will concerning you... J. Elizabeth Hardges
GENRE: CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL, POETRY/SPOKEN WORD, PUBLIC SPEAKING/INSPIRATION AND EXHORTATION I THANK GOD!!!! THANK YOU LORD!!!! I THANK GOD BECAUSE HE STAYED... HE HAS NEVER TURNED HIS BACK ON ME!!!
J
Elizabeth Hardges
I AM A WITNESS THAT HE STAYED CONSISTENT IN THIS EVER CHANGING WORLD... AND AS A RESULT I HAVE DEDICATED EVERYTHING IN ME TO TELLING EVERYONE, YOU CAN SURELY MAKE IT!!! IF AND ONLY IF YOU HAVE GOD ON YOUR SIDE!!!!!
ARTIST SPOTLIGHT
FROM: ELIZABETH, NJ
I have been mugged, abused, physically, emotionally and verbally, held up at gunpoint, twice, shot at, abandoned at a young age by a parent who is deeply in need of GODS love, homeless, rootless, ruthless, put out of countless families and hearts, and I THANK GOD FOR IT ALL!!!!
THEN THOSE OF US WHO ARE ABLE SHOULD BRING THE CHURCH TO THEM!!!! I also attend many open-mic nights, because any chance is always a GREAT CHANCE to tell someone JESUS LOVES YOU! This of course, is in addition to speaking at any church that will have me... GOD IS TRULY GOOD! AND I HAVE TO TELL IT!!!!!!
I am blessed at this time to have released a compact disc project entitled... "Experience... A Rhema Word... Expressions" available on many websites, including but not limited to itunes, Spotify, Amazon and emusic. I also, travel to different hospitals, nursing homes, prisons, spreading the love of GOD through poetry... I feel very blessed to have the opportunity to do this, because it is dream to reach people who may feel shut in the house, shut out of the church and shut away, as a result, from a touch from GODS heart IF THEY CANT GET TO THE CHURCH, THEN THOSE
Now I LIVE TO TELL IT!!! TO TELL HOW GOD IS MORE THAN ABLE TO GIVE YOU AN EPHESIANS 3:20 EXPERIENCE!!! EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY AND ABOVE ALL THAT YOU CAN ASK OR THINK!!! TRUST HIM AND WATCH HIM SHOW UP, SHOW OUT AND SHOW OFF IN YOUR LIFE!!! AND LIKE HE DID WITH ME HE WILL TURN YOU CALL A BAD EXPERIENCE INTO A ROMANS 8:28 EXPERIENCE!!!! HE WILL WORK IT ALL FOR YOUR GOOD!!! ALL OF IT!!! AND THAT IS MY POETIC MESSAGE IN A NUTSHELL!!! Songs You Got the Word! Stand!!! Don’t Forfeit the Fight!!! The Battle… Contact Ms. Hardges at http://www.reverbnation.com/jelizabethhardges
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I chose to tell my story anonymously because not everyone will read this story without being judgmental. Those that know me can contest that my life has changed tremendously and through the mercy of God, I am where I am today because of Jesus For over 5 years I was a booster. Boosting is stealing clothes, jewelry and other items and selling them, but unlike street boosters, I boosted for myself. The way I boosted involved writing bad checks to department stores for merchandise such as; clothes, jewelry and furniture. Most of the time, I would return the merchandise with the receipt and receive the cash which kept my pockets full. For a while I was living the life without remorse, but like all things, it came to an end During the fifth year of my boosting, I was visited by a detective who warned me to stop. This was a sign from God, but I didn’t heed, but continued to boost, it was a way of life, a life I wasn’t ready to give up. Again, God gave me another sign. I was shopping for a bridal present, well boosting for a bridal present at a department store, but as I presented my check, the clerk suddenly had an expression on her face that alarmed me. She tried to be a
good actor, but I could tell something wasn’t right. She told me that with my purchase I had won a gift set and that she had to call her manager to bring it to her. At first, I panicked, but then immediately told her I would be back as I was going to go to the restroom. I knew that I was being watched, so I headed in the direction of the restroom, but made a quick exit through the employee door. As I was making my escape, I called a taxi to meet me in back of Foot Locker which was next door. After the arrival of the taxi, I instructed the driver to drive past the entrance of the department store before taking me to my car and just as I had expected, parked in front were two police cars. I arrived at my car and drove home shaking and crying, but still even after all that, I did not stop boosting My streak of luck came to an end while I was buying a leather coat. As I presented my check to the clerk, I was distracted by another clerk who pretended to be interested in the outfit I was wearing. As the clerk handed me my receipt and purchase, I politely said thank you and proceeded out of the store. When I made it out of the store, two police officers followed me and then asked to see my Id. When I asked why, they told me to place my hands behind my back. Immediately the clerk
By Marcus White
hands behind my back. Immediately the clerk came out of the store and handed my check to one of the officers while the other officer was handcuffing me. This seemed like a dream at first, but later at the police station, I knew this was for real After my court appearance, the judge ordered that I remain in custody. I had never been incarcerated before so it took me by surprised. All the money that I had stolen, I had none to hire a lawyer, so I had to rely on the public defender to represent me. My next appearance in court was set for three weeks, but God was in the plan My first night was the worst. I had to cope with the smell, food and females who all seem to have a chip on their shoulders. One female befriended me and schooled me on how to act, look and respond, but we were soon separated due to the jail was overcrowded and some of us was transferred to another facility. The female that befriended me told me she had connections where I was going, so I should be alright. Upon arrival to the new facility, the staff had us strip and shower before leading us to the common room where we were given the rules and regulations. Afterwards we were shown to
to our sleeping quarters which was a four bed cell with no room to maneuver. For the most part, my roommates were friendly
The next couple of days, things were slow with no drama or occasion. I attended church on Sunday in the chapel, but it wasn’t what I was used to, so I left and waited for the next group to arrive which was more my speed. After the service, one of the missionaries requested that she pray for me and while praying my heart became heavy, but I quickly ignored it and went about my day The next day a new shipment of inmates arrived. One of the inmates Sarah I befriended because she seemed so scared and I had remembered how I felt when I first arrived. However, this was all part of God’s plan. Sarah was so depressed after being betrayed by her boyfriend which landed her in jail and desired a new life. We would walk and talk all day about the Lord and I found myself enjoying it. The following Sunday, she attended church with me at the chapel, but this time I willingly walked to the alter with Sarah and we prayed. I remember praying and asking God to forgive me while surrendering to do His will. After feeling a Continued next page
sense of relief, I turned and looked at Sarah who was crying and I told God that if He wanted me to stay in jail to help Sarah that I would. I was completely surrendering and it felt good Nevertheless, God’s plan was not for me to stay in jail. When I returned to court, the prosecutor had requested I be sentenced to 7 years in prison for my crime of felony theft, but the judge sentenced me to 3 years of probation and ordered me to pay restitution, attend money management classes and complete 150 hours of community service. I remember the court room was silent as he passed sentencing. I looked over at the prosecutor and saw the look on his face and then I turned around and looked at the audience and it seemed as though everyone was in shock. I had over 15 counts of felony theft and was walking away free That moment in jail while praying in the chapel to Jesus made the difference in my life and since then, I have been delivered from stealing and continue to share my story to demonstrate how one path of life which was destruction, led to the path of righteousness in Jesus. To this day, I haven’t heard from Sarah. Upon my release I gave her my address and phone number, but never received anything from her. I hope she is alright and thriving in Jesus, but others have stated to me that she could have been an angel send from the Lord to help me find my way
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