October/November, 2019
M A G A Z I N E
Are You in a Toxic Relationship?
Is It Wrongto Be a Solo Christian? Learningto Trust God How to Find Peace of Mind
Exploring Other Types of Hell
October/November, 2019 BLESSEDMAGAZINE.ORG
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Should Christians Be Encouraged to Arm Themselves?
Steps to Taking Control of Your Thoughts
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Contents October/November, 2019
Inside This Issue
Spiritual Wellness
Learning to Trust God – 19 Exploring Other Types of Hell – 25
Personal Wellness
How to Find Peace of Mind – 28 Is it Wrong to Be a Solo Christian? – 33 Should Christians Be Encouraged to Arm Themselves? – 37 Steps to Taking Control of Your Thoughts - 42
Relationships
How Can I Maintain a Good Attitude When I’m Struggling with PMS? – 46 Are You in a Toxic Relationship? – 51
Also in this Issue:
Deep in Thought by Arvil Jones- 23 $20 is Still $20! - 31 How to Treat a Cold or Flu at Home – 56
Regulars
Editor‘s Corner -10 Market Place - 62
8 | Blessed Magazine
Editor’s Corner
Praise the Lord My Brothers and Sisters in Christ! First, I always give all glory and honor to my Lord Jesus Christ for without Him in my life, nothing I could ever do would amount to anything! It‘s the beginning of the holiday season and I want to personally remind everyone to always give thanks for everything God has blessed you with. God is gracious and merciful towards us and we are forever grateful to Him! I want to personally thank all of our fans and readers for their continued support of this ministry which has continued to strive and for that I am grateful to our Lord, Jesus Christ
Our goal is to continue being a resource for Christians and others for years to come and with your support we can keep this publication available free of charge always on our digital platform Pray for us as we continue to pray for you and thank you for reading this issue of Blessed Magazine God bless you! Your Humble Servant in Christ,
Laraine Turner Editor-in-Chief
10 | Blessed Magazine
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Spiritual Wellness
Before we can learn to trust that God is in control of all of life‘s circumstances, we have to answer four questions: Is God really in control? How much control does He have? If He is not in complete control, then who/what is? How can I learn to trust that He is in control and rest in that? Is God really in control? The concept of the control of God over everything is called the ―sovereignty‖ of God. Nothing gives us strength and confidence like an understanding of the sovereignty of God in our lives. God‘s sovereignty is defined as His complete and total independent control over every creature, event, and circumstance at every moment in history. Subject to none, influenced by none, absolutely independent, God does what He pleases, only as He pleases, always as He pleases. God is in complete control of every molecule in the universe at every moment, and everything that happens is either caused or allowed by Him for His own perfect purposes.
―The LORD of hosts has sworn, saying, ‗Surely, as I have thought, so it shall come to pass, And as I have purposed, so it shall stand‘‖ (Isaiah 14:24). Nothing is random or comes by chance, especially not in the lives of believers. He ―purposed‖ it. That means to deliberately resolve to do something. God has resolved to do what He will do, and nothing and no one stands in His way. ―I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please‖ (Isaiah 46:10). This is our powerful, purposeful God who is in control of everything. That should bring us great comfort and help to alleviate our fears. 19 | Blessed Magazine
Spiritual Wellness But exactly how much control does God have? God‘s total sovereignty over all creation directly contradicts the philosophy of open theism, which states that God doesn‘t know what‘s going to happen in the future any more than we do, so He has to constantly be changing His plans and reacting to what the sinful creatures do as they exercise their free will. God isn‘t finding out what‘s going to happen as events unfold. He is continuously, actively running things—ALL things—here and now. But to think He needs our cooperation, our help, or the exercise of our free will to bring His plans to pass puts us in control over Him, which makes us God. Where have we heard that lie before? It‘s a rehash of Satan‘s same old lie from the Garden—you shall be like God (Genesis 3:5). Our wills are only free to the extent that God allows us that freedom and no farther. ―All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: ‗What have you done?‘‖ (Daniel 4:35). No one‘s free will trumps the sovereignty of God. Some people find it appealing to think that Satan has control over a certain amount of life, that God is constantly revising His plans to accommodate Satan‘s tricks. The book of Job is a clear illustration of just who has the sovereign power and who doesn‘t. Satan came to God and, in effect, said, ―Job only serves you because you protect him.‖ So God gave Satan permission to do certain things to Job but no more (Job 1:6–22). Could Satan do more than that? No. God is in control over Satan and his demons who try to thwart God‘s plans at every step.
Satan knew from the Old Testament that God‘s plan was for Jesus to come to the earth, be betrayed, crucified and resurrected, and provide salvation for millions, and if there was any way to keep that from happening, Satan would have done it. If just one of the hundreds of prophecies about the Messiah could have been caused by Satan to fail to come to pass, the whole thing would have collapsed. But the numbers of independent, ―free will‖ decisions made by thousands of people were designed by God to bring His plan to pass in exactly the way He had planned it from the beginning, and Satan couldn‘t do a thing about it.
Jesus was ―delivered by the determined purpose and foreknowledge of God‖ (Acts 2:23). No action by the Romans, the Pharisees, Judas, or anyone else kept God‘s plan from unfolding exactly the way He purposed it from before the foundation of the world. Ephesians 1 says we were chosen in Him before the world was even created. We were in the mind of God to be saved by faith in Christ. That means God knit together Satan‘s rebellion, Adam and Eve‘s sin, the fall of the human race, and the death and crucifixion of Christ—all seemingly terrible events—to save us before He created us. Here is a perfect example of God working all things together for good (Romans 8:28). Unlimited in power, unrivalled in majesty, and not thwarted by anything outside Himself, our God is in complete control of all circumstances, causing or allowing them for His own good purposes and plans to be fulfilled exactly as He has foreordained.
Finally, the only way to trust in God‘s sovereign
20 | Blessed Magazine
Spiritual Wellness sovereign control and rest in it is to know God. Know His attributes, know what He has done in the past, and this builds confidence in Him. Daniel 11:32b says, ―The people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits.‖ Imagine that kind of power in the hands of an evil, unjust god. Or a god that really doesn‘t care about us. But we can rejoice in our God‘s sovereignty, because it is overshadowed by His goodness, His love, His mercy, His compassion, His faithfulness, and His holiness.
But we can‘t trust someone we don‘t know, and there is only one way to know God— through His Word. There is no magic formula to make us spiritual giants overnight, no mystical prayer to pray three times a day to mature us, build our faith, and make us towers of strength and confidence. There is only the Bible, the single source of power that will change our lives from the inside out. But it takes effort, diligent, everyday effort, to know the God who controls everything. If we drink deeply of His Word and let it fill our minds and hearts, the sovereignty of God will become clear to us, and we will rejoice in it because we will know intimately and trust completely the God who controls all things for His perfect purpose. END
Question: Do You Know
Jesus?
Love Covers a Multitude of Faults. Please Love One Another 21 | Blessed Magazine
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Also in this issue Deep in Thought… The elderly gentleman was deep in thought, sitting on the old porch swing, his body was there, but his mind was far away. He quickly brushed away a tear, hoping no one had seen, reliving memories from a bygone day. Slowly his mind drifted back again, and again his old heart pounded, he thought he could almost reach and touch her hand. Although he knew she wasn‘t there, and yet she seemed so near, as once again he gazed at his wedding band. His precious wife of sixty years, the only love he‘d known, had passed away several years ago. They used to sit on that old porch swing and watch the sun go down, or hear the chimes as the evening breeze would blow. He could still recall the touch of her hand, the scent of her perfume, and the little coral pin she wore in her hair. And how he‘d always hold the swing, for her to sit down first, now the loneliness was almost too much to bear. Sometimes he‘d catch himself talking to her, as if she were sitting there. And sometimes he even thought she answered him; he remembered the sweetness of her voice as she used to hum a tune. Or help him read as his eyes were growing dim.
He could see her in her flower garden, singing as she worked, and how her beauty took his breath away. It had been so hard to give her up, but deep inside he knew, that he would see his love again someday. With his old heart aching he bowed his head and whispered a silent prayer, saying Lord I just can‘t make it all alone. You know she meant the world to me, and Oh I love her so, we did everything together, and now she‘s gone. But Lord if it could be Your will, I‘ve lived long enough, and surely there‘s not much more for me to do. I‘d surely love to see her, and hold her close again, so Lord I have this one request of You. The old man slowly closed his eyes and waited patiently. Then leaning back he smiled the sweetest smile. I‘ll be waiting for Your answer Lord, so any time You‘re ready, I‘ll just sit right here and rest a while. The evening breeze blew softly across the old wind chimes, but now he didn‘t even hear their sound. What he heard was her sweet voice saying come on home sweetheart, as a mighty choir of angels gathered round. His old heart raced with gladness as again she touched his hand, as together they gazed upon the jasper walls. Hand in hand they strolled along the avenues of Heaven, rejoicing as they walked the golden halls.
Arvil Jones 23 | Blessed Magazine
24 | Blessed Magazine
Spiritual Wellness
Exploring Other Types
of Hell Here Are Some Other Types of Hell to Consider What is "Hell"?
Hell is a place where vanity and vexation of the spirit can continuously rise and it seems like there's no escape. And the sad thing about this hell I'm talking about, it is a literal prison that has no walls; it has no gates. But it has tremendous power to confine you and to make you think that there is no escape. I'm talking about "hell", a condition. What is "Hell―? When your spouse is bringing jeopardy to your marriage. They are thinking about leaving, and there's all kinds of kayos; and the children are strung-out on drugs; and they're indulging in satanism; and they're in and out of prison. I would call these things hell.
What is "Hell"? When the gas and electric, the cable folks, and the telephone folks are wanting their money. When people seemingly and incessantly are targeting you because they want their money and you have no money to give them. And you are seeing things happening in your life that are very depressing. I would call that a hell.
25 | Blessed Magazine
Spiritual Wellness What is "Hell"?
Hell can be where you are laid-off your job and have bills that are piling up. And you're wondering how you're going to make ends meet. Your children are hungry; the repossession phone calls are coming in. Foreclosure notices are coming through the mail. Anybody know about that? That could be considered hell. What is "Hell"?
Hell is a place when it seems like it is very difficult to pray. When you go to your prayer closet, there's no move of God. There's no voice from the Lord. When you come to the House of God, the Preacher's preaching but you can't really receive what he is saying, and it seems like that all of Godly eternity has turned it's back on you. I would call that a hell. I want to tell somebody here today, you might think that God has turned His back on you. You might think that heaven has not sent the Word your way. You may think that the devil is going to win. You may think that this situation is going to last for the rest of your life. But I've come to tell somebody here today that the Lord is not going to leave your soul in the state that you're in right now. God is not going to leave you in hell. – END
Question: Do You Know
Jesus? 26 | Blessed Magazine
Personal Wellness
Most people would define peace of mind as the absence of mental stress and anxiety. The expression ―peace of mind‖ conjures up images of Buddha-like composure wherein calm, comfort, and composure are so prevalent that nothing can disturb the one who has peace of mind. An imperturbable, placid person is said to have peace of mind. The only time ―peace of mind‖ is found in the Bible is the NIV translation of 2 Corinthians 2:13 where Paul says he found no ―peace of mind‖ because he didn‘t find Titus in Troas. The literal translation of this phrase is ―rest of my spirit.‖ The Bible uses the word peace in several different ways. Peace sometimes refers to a state of friendship between God and man. This peace between a holy God and sinful mankind has been effected by Christ‘s sacrificial death, ―having made peace through the blood of his cross‖ (Colossians 1:20). In addition, as High Priest the Lord Jesus maintains that state of friendship on behalf of all who continue to ―come to God by him, seeing he always lives to make intercession for them‖ (Hebrews 7:25). This state of friendship with God is a prerequisite for the second kind of peace, that which sometimes refers to a tranquil mind. It is only when ―we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ‖ (Romans 5:1) that we can experience the true peace of mind that is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, in other words, His fruit exhibited in us (Galatians 5:22). 28 | Blessed Magazine
Personal Wellness Isaiah 26:3 tells us that God will keep us in ―perfect peace‖ if our minds are ―stayed‖ on Him, meaning our minds lean on Him, center on Him, and trust in Him. Our tranquility of mind is ―perfect‖ or imperfect to the degree that the ―mind is stayed on‖ God rather than ourselves or on our problems. Peace is experienced as we believe what the Bible says about God‘s nearness as in Psalm 139:1-12, and about His goodness and power, His mercy and love for His children, and His complete sovereignty over all of life‘s circumstances. But we can‘t trust someone we don‘t know, and it is crucial, therefore, to come to know intimately the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ.
they undergo similar trials (2 Corinthians 1:4), and they ―achieve for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all‖ (2 Corinthians 4:17).
Peace of mind and the tranquility of spirit that accompanies it are only available when we have true peace with God through the sacrifice of Christ on the cross in payment of our sins. Those who attempt to find peace in worldly pursuits will find themselves sadly deceived. For Christians, however, peace of mind is available through the intimate knowledge of, and complete trust in, the God who meets ―all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus‖ (Philippians 4:19). END
Peace is experienced as a result of prayer. ―Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus‖ (Philippians 4:67).
A peaceful mind and heart are experienced as a result of recognizing that an all-wise and loving Father has a purpose in our trials. ―We know that all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose‖ (Romans 8:28). God can bring a variety of good things, including peace, from the afflictions that we experience. Even the discipline and chastening of the Lord will ―yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness‖ in our lives (Hebrews 12:11). They provide a fresh opportunity for ―hoping in God‖ and eventually ―praising Him‖ (Psalm 43:5). They help us ―comfort‖ others when
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Also in this issue
$20 is Still $20 $20 is still $20 whether it‘s crumbled or straight. You can still purchase goods with it and pay your bills. No one will ever tell you because it‘s crumbled, it‘s worth has been diminished
Now, look in mirror. God created you exactly how you see yourself in that mirror. He said everything (and that includes you) was good, very good!!! Nothing you could ever do could diminish who you are to God. He loves you unconditionally and no one can tell you, you are worthless or won‘t amount to anything In our lives, we make mistakes. We do things that later we look back on and ask ourselves, ‗what was I thinking?‘ But no matter what we‘ve done or going through, we‘re still worth more than the sparrows. Worth more than the lilies in the field. Our worth has not diminished. We‘re not damaged! God loves you and you were so worthy of His love, His Son Jesus died for you. So, remember that the next time the enemy or someone tells you differently. God bless you
Author: Sister Laraine Turner 31 | Blessed Magazine
Personal Wellness
Is It Wrong to Be a Solo Christian?
I met a solo Christian the other day. A friend and I had a third person added to our golf outing. He introduced himself with some colorful language regarding how he was going to @#$%*#@ kill the golf ball that day. He then proceeded to break out his pack of cigarettes. On the third hole, he asked if we minded if he smoked marijuana. On the fourth hole, he asked me what I do for a living. When I told him I am a web developer for a Christian ministry, he got all excited. ―You two are Christians! That‘s great, so am I. It will be awesome to spend some time with some brothers in Christ on the course today!‖ I proceeded to ask him about his spiritual background and his beliefs. By the end of the 18 holes, I became fairly convinced that he did indeed know Jesus Christ as his Savior. But, one thing he said particularly intrigued me. He said that he does not attend a church because he doesn‘t much care for the whole ―church thing.‖ He said he would rather work things out on his own, spiritually speaking.
There are a lot of people who have this ―solo Christian‖ attitude. Some have had genuinely bad experiences in church. Some have been terribly hurt by people in the church doing and/or saying some very ungodly things to them. Others, though, stay away from church/fellowship because they do not want to be told that something in their lives is wrong. Some people flee from other Christians because they do not want to have their unbiblical beliefs/practices/presuppositions challenged. Whatever the reason for the solo Christian attitude, it is wrong. The Christian life is not supposed to be a solo venture. 33 | Blessed Magazine
Personal Wellness not supposed to be a solo venture.
Christians are not to neglect meeting together (Hebrews 10:25). Christians are to love one another (1 John 4:12), encourage one another (Hebrews 3:13), serve one another (Galatians 5:13), instruct one another (Romans 15:14), and be compassionate towards one another (Ephesians 4:32). The spiritual gifts are designed to be used to build one another up in the faith (1 Corinthians 12:21-26). These ―one anothers‖ are not possible if Christians are never around one another. I am not necessarily talking about church attendance. The church, which is comprised of all true followers of Jesus Christ, is a body. For a body to function properly, all of its parts need to be present (1 Corinthians 12:14-20). Whether you are an eye or a toe, your purpose cannot be fulfilled while you are disconnected from the body. Your connection with the Body of Christ can be through attending formal church services in a church building. Or, it can be achieved through a home church or Bible study. In reality, the Body of Christ can function anytime Christians are gathered together. But, again, there must be a gathering together.
By no means am I saying that all solo Christians are foul-mouthed, pot-smoking, or spiritually immature. On the contrary, I have met some solo Christians who appear to be solid, dedicated, and mature followers of Christ. But, in most cases, attempting to live a solo Christian life is a tremendous detriment to actually living the Christian life. Without opportunities to serve others, and without giving others opportunities to minister to you—a crucial aspect of the Christian life is missed.
No, the church is not perfect. Yes, the church is filled with fallen, sin-plagued, and mistake-prone people like you and me. But, this is no excuse for attempting to live the Christian life solo. Don‘t give up on the church. Jesus Christ sure hasn‘t (Ephesians 5:25-27)! END
The idea of a solo Christian is foreign to the Bible. As followers of Christ, we should desire fellowship with other Christians. We should want to be encouraged, taught, and rebuked when necessary. And, we should be willing and able to encourage, teach, and rebuke others when it is necessary. Jesus came to serve (Mark 10:45), and we are to follow His example by serving others. In a solo Christian life, the only person being served is yourself. 34 | Blessed Magazine
S. Michael Houdmann
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Personal Wellness
Should Christians Be
Encouraged to Arm Themselves? Every time there is any kind of mass shooting, debate over gun control is revived. Some want to ban citizens from owning guns entirely. Others only want to find a way to prevent unstable people from acquiring guns. The argument seems to go: if criminals and unstable people did not have guns, they would not be able to kill people, or at least not kill as many people. But, is that true? And, if it is true, is making guns illegal, or much more difficult to acquire, the best solution? Undeniably, guns are very convenient weapons for someone who is seeking to kill people. However, there are suicide bombs, planted bombs, knife attacks, acid attacks, etc., that demonstrate there are other choices, just as concealable, and even more deadly. If a psychotic individual wants to kill people, he/she can find a way, with or without a gun. Since the very beginning of humanity, people have been killing other people (see Genesis 4). Taking guns out of the equation would not, ultimately, solve the problem.
A friend of mine who lives in a country with very strict and successful gun control 37 | Blessed Magazine
Personal Wellness laws recently informed me of how many people in that country have been killed in knife and bomb attacks in recent years. It is staggering. The state-controlled media suppresses the news, so it is not widely known. (I am intentionally not mentioning the country in which he resides for his own protection.) This demonstrates that guns are not ultimately the problem. People are the problem (Romans 3:10-23). At the same time, since we clearly have a people problem, or more accurately a sin problem, what should be done to prevent evil people from doing great harm? What sacrifices should good people be willing to make in order to make it as difficult as possible for evil people to acquire the ability to commit mass murder?
But, let me say it loud and clear, banning guns in the USA would be an extremely bad idea. Criminals, by definition, do not obey laws. Psychotic mass murderers do not obey laws. With the proliferation of guns in the United States, if citizens were banned from owning guns, it would only be law-abiding citizens who would obey — precisely the people we want to have guns. Criminals would keep their guns. Psychotic mass murderers would still find ways to acquire guns. There would simply be fewer people with the ability to stop or deter them.
Romans 13:1-7 instructs us to submit to the governing authorities. Whatever nation you live in, you should submit to your government‘s laws regarding gun ownership. In the United States of America, it is legal to own guns, as long as you go through the proper legal process. Citizens of the United States should obey these laws.
The vast majority of gun owners in the United States of America have never harmed another human being using a gun, and never will. People use guns for hunting, for sport, or for an absolute last resort in self-defense. The fact that criminals use guns to commit crimes does not mean guns are the problem. Criminals are the problem. If all the guns in the world were taken away, criminals would find new ways to rob convenience stores, commit muggings, terrify people, and commit horrible atrocities and mass murders. No, gun control is not, in and of itself, the answer.
Most other nations in the world have more restrictive gun laws than the United States. Based on Romans 13, those nations are within the authority God has given them to restrict gun ownership. The Bible does not command that guns be owned. Therefore, it is within the authority of the government to determine what restrictions, if any, should be placed on gun ownership. Should the United States of America one day ban gun ownership through constitutional means, the new laws should be obeyed.
It is interesting, and important, to note that while incidents of mass murder via gun violence in the USA have increased dramatically in recent years, it is not due to guns suddenly becoming available. Guns have been readily available in the USA for most of its history. Something else has changed in the culture that is leading people to commit these horrible actions. We have to ask ourselves an important question. Why is it that only recently did people start committing mass murders at schools, bars,
38 | Blessed Magazine
Personal Wellness concerts, and shopping centers? Again, the guns have always been around. So, what changed? Those who are proposing gun control measures need to think about this. And, those who oppose any additional gun control measures need to realize that whatever has changed in the culture, this change plus the availability of guns is a volatile combination.
to gun control law. I just want gun control advocates to understand that guns are not the entirety of the problem. And, I want those who oppose any additional gun control measures to be more open to something being done.
There is another side to this issue that needs to be addressed. I have heard many Americans describe gun ownership as a God-given right. Some of them will point to Luke 22:36, in which Jesus instructed the disciples to buy swords. Jesus‘ instructions were for a specific purpose at a specific time. To say that His words give human beings the right to own any sort of weapon at any time for any reason is a serious stretch, to say the least. No, gun ownership is not a God-given right. The extreme hostility from some gun owners to any attempt by the government to limit gun ownership or restrict what types of guns can be purchased is not biblical. Reasonable proposals that attempt to prevent potentially dangerous individuals from acquiring guns should be seriously considered.
S. Michael Houdmann
"It‘s a slippery slope! If we allow them to implement _______, next they will try to _______!" This is a valid concern. But, if _______ is the right thing to do, if it will prevent even one mass murder, or even it if it will reduce the casualties in a mass murder by one, it is worth implementing. What if that one is a family member, friend, or you? So, what is the answer? Logistically, I don‘t know. It is not the purpose of this post to advocate for any specific changes or additions
Spiritually speaking, people need Jesus. People need a biblical worldview. People need to value life. People need to forgive. END
Question: Do You Know
Jesus?
39 | Blessed Magazine
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Personal Wellness
Steps to Taking Control of Your Thoughts Many Christians struggle with this issue, especially in our highly technological world, but taking control of our thoughts is essential. Proverbs 4:23 states, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." The ―heart‖ includes the mind and all that proceeds from it. Someone said that every sin we commit, we commit twice, once in our thoughts and again when we act upon those thoughts. It is easier to rid our lives of sin if we attack it at this fundamental thought level rather than waiting for it to become rooted in our lives by our actions and then try to pull it out. There is also a difference between being tempted (a thought entering into the mind) and sinning (dwelling upon an evil thought and wallowing in it). It is important to understand that when a thought enters our mind, we examine it based upon God's Word and determine if we should continue down that path or reject the thought and replace it with another thought. If we have already allowed a habit to form in our thought lives, it becomes more difficult to change the path of our thoughts, even as it is hard to get a car out of a deep rut and onto a new track. Here are some biblical suggestions for taking control of our thoughts and getting rid of wrong thoughts: 1. Be in God's Word so that when a sinful thought enters our mind (a temptation), we will be able to recognize it for what it is and know what course to take. Jesus in the wilderness
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Personal Wellness (Matthew 4) responded to each of Satan's temptations with Scripture that applied to the direction He knew His mind should take instead of beginning down the path of the sinful thought. When tempted to meet His physical need (turn stone into bread), He recited the passage about the importance of relying upon God. When tempted to serve Satan in order to obtain the glory of the world, He brought up the passage that says we are to serve and worship God alone and speak of the glory that belongs to Him and those who are His. When tempted to test God (to see if God was really there and would keep His promises), Jesus responded with passages that stress the importance of believing God without having to see Him demonstrate His presence.
Quoting Scripture in a time of temptation is not a talisman, but rather serves the purpose of getting our minds onto a biblical track, but we need to know the Word of God AHEAD of time in order to accomplish this. Thus, a daily habit of being in the Word in a meaningful way is essential. If we are aware of a certain area of constant temptation (worry, lust, anger, etc.), we need to study and memorize key passages that deal with those issues. Looking for both what we are to avoid (negative) and how we are to properly respond (positive) to tempting thoughts and situations—before they are upon us—will go a long way to giving us victory over them. 2. Live in dependence upon the Holy Spirit, chiefly through seeking His strength through prayer (Matthew 26:41). If we rely upon our own strength, we will fail (Proverbs 28:26;Jeremiah 17:9; Matthew 26:33). 3. We are not to feed our minds with that which will promote sinful thoughts. This is the idea of Proverbs 4:23. We are to guard our hearts—
what we allow into them and what we allow them to dwell on. Job 31:1 states, "I have made a covenant with my eyes; Why then should I look upon a young woman" (NKJV). Romans 13:14 states, "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts." Thus, we are to avoid periodicals, videos, websites, conversations and situations that will set us up for a fall. We should also avoid spending time with those who would encourage us down these wrong paths. 4. We are to pursue hard after God, replacing sinful thoughts with godly pursuits and mindsets. This is the principle of replacement. When tempted to hate someone, we replace those hateful thoughts with godly actions: we do good to them, speak well of them, and pray for them (Matthew 5:44). Instead of stealing, we should work hard to earn money so we can look for opportunities to give to others in need (Ephesians 4:28). When tempted to lust after a woman, we turn our gaze, praise God for the way He has made us—male and female—and pray for the woman (for example: "Lord, help this young woman to come to know you if she does not, and to know the joy of walking with you"), then think of her as a sister (1 Timothy 5:2). The Bible often speaks of "putting off" wrong actions and thoughts but then "putting on‖ godly actions and thoughts (Ephesians 4:22-32). Merely seeking to put off sinful thoughts without replacing those thoughts with godly ones leaves an empty field for Satan to come along and sow his weeds (Matthew 12:43-45). 5. We can use fellowship with other Christians the way God intended. Hebrews 10:24-25 states, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
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Personal Wellness Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Fellow Christians who will encourage us in the changes we desire (best if of the same gender), who will pray for and with us, who will ask us in love how we are doing, and who will hold us accountable in avoiding the old ways, are valuable friends indeed. Last and most important, these methods will be of no value unless we have placed our faith in Christ as Savior from our sin. This is where we absolutely must start! Without this, there can be no victory over sinful thoughts and temptations, and God‘s promises for His children are not for us, nor is the Holy Spirit‘s power available to us!
God will bless those who seek to honor Him with what matters most to Him: who we are inside and not just what we appear to be to others. May God make Jesus‘ description of Nathanael true also of us—a man [or woman] in whom there is no guile (John 1:47). END
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Relationships
Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) has different symptoms for different women. They can include serious physical pain, brain fog, and crankiness. Water retention can range from annoying to painful, and carbohydrate cravings don‘t help. To make matters worse, ―pre‖-menstrual syndrome is rather a misnomer since symptoms can extend into menstruation and even recur during ovulation. Many think that PMS gives them a get-out-of-jail-free pass when it comes to crankiness. But the Bible calls us to love at all times. How? There are three main things to consider for maintaining a good attitude during PMS. PMS IS REAL
First off, PMS is real. For decades, doctors denied the existence of PMS, leaving women to fend for themselves. The medical field has, for the most part, acknowledged the existence of PMS, although real understanding will be an ongoing endeavor. When controlling your attitude during PMS, it helps to know when it will start. If you‘re regular, keeping track will alert you to the time when symptoms are due to begin. For those who are not regular, it‘s still a good idea to track symptoms. They often follow a progression, so if, say, you find your first symptom is bloating or even fast-growing leg hair, you can be alerted to what is to come. 46 | Blessed Magazine
Relationships PMS is a physical problem, and it follows that many symptoms will have physical solutions— or at least therapies. If you tend to gain waterweight, stay off of salt for the week prior. If you have trouble falling asleep, take the steps recommended for insomnia, but also look at your pain meds; some, like ibuprofen, can cause sleeplessness. For cramps, one of the best therapies is walking, even though your first instinct may be to curl up on the couch. Staying away from simple carbohydrates, as hard as it is, may help with digestive issues. If you experience joint pain or loose joints (from the release of the chemical relaxin), you may need to cut back on strenuous workouts to prevent injury. And if you know you‘re going to be foggy for a couple of days, take care of detail-oriented administrative tasks beforehand. Another consideration is that it‘s okay to give yourself grace. There are times in life when we need to push through the pain to get things done, but there are also times when God gives us the opportunity to slow down. It‘s okay to take those moments. Even during PMS, you are still responsible for your attitudes
Mediating pain and discomfort can help with attitude (people in pain tend to be grouchy), but PMS also causes mental and emotional challenges that changes in lifestyle can‘t fix. It‘s important to realize at that point that we are still responsible for how we act. Jesus didn‘t tell us to love our neighbor only when we feel like it. He gave us a powerful example when He showed grace and mercy even while hanging on the cross. Nowhere does the Bible
tell us we can be mean just because our hormones lead us in that direction. In fact, Scripture promises that we are not controlled by our flesh if we rely on the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:16). Acting in a way contrary to your body‘s natural inclinations is part of spiritual maturity. Pray that God will guide your thoughts and actions and that you‘ll recognize when He is providing you with relief (James 1:5; Psalm 40:1–3). Read your Bible to remind yourself that He is bigger than your condition (Psalm 119:9). Continue in Christian fellowship, even if it‘s just one friend or your spouse who can take care of some needs and gently help you recognize when your attitude‘s going south (Hebrews 10:24). That fellowship part is key. During PMS, our emotions try to convince us that problems are much bigger than they actually are. It‘s easy to lose perspective. But someone you trust can remind you of the truth, even if that truth is simply that you need to step back and consider the needs of others (Ephesians 4:25). A friend is essential for this; Titus 2:5 tells older women to teach younger women to be ―sensible.‖ The Greek word is sophron, which means ―of sound mind, curbing one‘s desires and impulses, self-controlled.‖ PMS may make being ―sensible‖ more difficult, but with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26; Philippians 4:13). Know if/when you need medical help dealing with PMS
There are situations that can‘t be controlled by at-home preventative measures. If the physical
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Relationships pain and mental and emotional symptoms significantly interfere with daily life, it‘s time to see a doctor. This isn‘t just a formality— PMS symptoms can be evidence of serious conditions such as cysts. Severe PMS is also a symptom of endometriosis, which can cause infertility. The emotional problems can be equally disturbing, leading to serious depression. Fortunately, there are medical treatments that can help. One of the main treatments for PMS is to go on hormonal birth control. The use of hormonal birth control is controversial in Christian circles because it may prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg. For that reason, serious consideration is necessary before using it as a primary method of birth control. Its use for PMS treatment is well-documented, however. It is not a sin to take medication for medical issues; talk to your doctor and ask God for guidance. The fruit of the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22–23). Jesus told us to love each other (Matthew 22:34–36), which precludes being irritable or rude (1 Corinthians 13:4—6). Love also bears all things, endures all things, and never ends (13:7–8). These are convicting words for those whose bodies betray their emotions on a regular basis. But the Bible promises help for those who seek God‘s will (Philippians 4:13). END
Question: Do You Know Jesus? 48 | Blessed Magazine
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Relationships
Are You in a Toxic Relationship? The word toxic means ―poisonous.‖ Toxic relationships are those that poison our peace and our ability to enjoy another person. A toxic relationship will leave one exhausted, frustrated, and, in some cases, depressed. Toxic relationships can affect business partnerships, sports teams, and, of course, families. Some disharmony in a relationship is normal; however, some people inject poison into every relationship, making healthy give-and-take impossible. Those are toxic people, and the Bible has some advice for us in dealing with them. There will be some people whose company we don‘t prefer, but that doesn‘t make them toxic. We may be polar opposites in ideology with someone but can maintain a comfortable relationship. Democrats can enjoy the company of Republicans, a New York Yankees fan can have a friendly relationship with a Boston Red Sox fan, and Christians can engage in healthy interactions with non-Christians. But when a person is toxic, he or she is unable to maintain a healthy relationship with anyone. Only those willing to suffer the selfish demands of the toxic person can endure such a relationship for long. Several factors determine whether or not a relationship or a person is toxic:
1. The relationship is completely one-sided in favor of the toxic person. Toxic people are incredibly narcissistic and can think only of themselves and what they want at the moment. This is a direct violation of Philippians 2:3–4, which says, ―Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own 51 | Blessed Magazine
Relationships interests but each of you to the interests of the others.‖ Toxic people may pretend they are doing something for someone else, but there is always an ulterior motive that will benefit them.
unfazed. If you become anxious at the thought of another interaction with someone in your life, through no fault of your own, you may be in a toxic relationship.
5. Toxic people relish victimhood. Everything 2. There is continual drama in toxic happens to toxic people, and the world should relationships. Ironically, toxic people are often take notice. They shouldn‘t be held the ones who proclaim for all to hear how responsible, they think, because it wasn‘t their much they ―hate drama.‖ Yet they instigate it fault—even though it was. Self-pity everywhere they go. They seem to thrive on it. practically drips from them, even though they They cannot go from point A to point B in a may mask it with a facade of strength. They simple, straightforward manner. They are a love to appear as martyrs and will even constant tangle of excuses, lies, fabrications, construct situations that portray them in that and crazy situations that weary everyone else light. Those in relationship with a toxic person in their world. They enjoy complicating usually end up looking like the bad guy. otherwise simple situations because it keeps Outsiders often silently judge the friends or attention focused on them. family members who are ―intolerant‖ of this poor victim, which creates division and 3. They are always right. Always. Toxic misunderstanding in peripheral relationships. people look with disdain on anyone who dares correct or disagree with them. They mask their 6. Toxic people lie. If their mouths are extreme pride with fake humility, but there is moving, toxic people are probably lying. They rarely any true repentance because they don‘t lie more easily than they tell the truth and are believe they are wrong. It is everyone else‘s so convincing that even those who know fault. Proverbs 16:18 says, ―Pride goes before better question their own perceptions. Toxic a fall and a haughty spirit before destruction.‖ people justify their lies by telling themselves Haughtiness dominates toxic people, even that they had no choice. When caught redwhen they try to hide it behind self-pity or handed in a lie, they may feign remorse, but groveling. If you are in a toxic relationship, all the while they may be concealing a dozen the ―destruction‖ the toxic person has earned more lies no one has discovered yet. Scripture due to pride often lands on you, too. has harsh words for liars. God has a zerotolerance policy for liars, and He is not fooled 4. Others dread confrontations or interactions by any of their excuses (Revelation 21:8). with a toxic person. They may appear Proverbs 6:16–19 lists seven things the Lord delightfully charming to outsiders, but those in hates, and lying is on the list twice. relationship with a toxic person know the real story. Every interaction, no matter how King Saul is an example of a toxic person. He innocent it may begin, ends with the twist of a began well, but power, pride, and jealousy dagger. Everyone else is left with the fallout crippled his soul. His furious jealousy of while the toxic person skates away seemingly young David manifested itself in a confusing 52 | Blessed Magazine
Relationships array of moods. One moment Saul was calm and enjoying David‘s music; the next he was trying to kill him (1 Samuel 19:9–10). Saul would appear to show remorse, but soon he was hunting David again (1 Samuel 24:16–17; 26:2, 21). Later, Saul violated a serious command from the Lord so that people would think well of him (1 Samuel 15). That sin cost Saul his kingdom.
You cannot help toxic people unless they want to be helped.
People-pleasers are the most frequent victims of toxic relationships because they want the toxic person to like them. But there are times when closing the door on a relationship is the wisest thing you can do (Proverbs 22:24–25). If you are married to a toxic person who has turned your relationship into a toxic marriage, then a separation may be in order, along with some focused marital counselling. If you are not married, then it‘s time to say goodbye. END
We have been called to peace (Colossians 3:15), but a toxic relationship destroys peace. Some people are so abusive that they will not allow us to seek or broker peace in any area. When the relationship is continually filled with unwanted drama, when you find yourself dreading the next blowup, when you cannot believe anything this person says, or when someone is destroying your reputation and sanity, then it is time to create distance in the relationship. Psalm 1 gives specific instructions about keeping away from wicked fools. We are blessed when we do not seek out friendships with them or listen to their counsel. Toxic people fit into that category. They are not content to destroy their own lives; they must take others with them. It helps to remember that you cannot change a toxic person, especially from within a toxic relationship. 53 | Blessed Magazine
Jesus Will Never Leave You! If you haven’t discovered Jesus as your personal savior and would like to get to know Him today; please click the button below for a free e-book from our friends at Guideposts titled
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Also in this issue
How to Treat a Cold or Flu at Home Viruses are responsible for colds and flu, so antibiotics are not able to cure or prevent these illnesses. Plenty of rest, fluids, and home remedies can help relieve symptoms. Colds and the flu are common illnesses that can cause many uncomfortable symptoms, such as:
A Runny Nose Blocked Sinuses A Sore Throat Coughing Headaches Body Aches Fever Or Chills
The following home remedies may help prevent illness, reduce symptoms, and shorten the duration of a cold or the flu: 1. Zinc Studies suggest that zinc supplementation may help shorten the length of a cold and lessen symptoms. Experts believe that this is because zinc prevents rhinovirus, the virus that causes the common 56 | Blessed Magazine
Also in this issue cold, from replicating in the body.
Research has shown that components of Echinacea may support the immune system. People can take zinc as a tablet, lozenge, or Some have antiviral properties and may fight syrup, but should always follow the dosage against flu viruses. advice on the packaging. Too much zinc can cause nausea and stomach aches. Research on the effectiveness of Echinacea in treating a cold has produced mixed results to Zinc is available online and in pharmacies as a date, with some studies showing no benefit. supplement or nasal spray. Using a zinc nasal Other studies have found that certain Echinacea spray can cause people to lose their sense of products may reduce a person's likelihood of smell temporarily. getting a cold by 10–20 percent.
People can purchase Echinacea as a supplement or herbal tea. 4. Garlic Garlic may help fight off a common cold because it has antibacterial and antiviral properties.
2. Honey Honey has antimicrobial properties, which may allow it to fight some bacteria and viruses. One study found that honey was effective in relieving coughing as a symptom of a cold in children over the age of 1 year. Children younger than 1 year should not have honey due to the risk of infant botulism.
One study found that people who took a daily garlic supplement for 3 months had fewer colds than those in a placebo group. Garlic has long been a home remedy for colds and the flu. People can eat raw garlic, incorporate cooked garlic into meals, or take a supplement. Unless a person has a garlic allergy, it is usually safe to use.
People can try stirring some honey into hot water to soothe a sore throat or cough. Adding Fresh garlic is readily available in lemon provides extra flavor and vitamin C. supermarkets. People who do not like the taste can purchase garlic supplements online. People can find honey in grocery stores, local markets, and online. 5. Menthol
3. Echinacea
A person can use menthol leaves for steam therapy.
Some people use herbal extracts from the Echinacea plant to help prevent colds and Blocked sinuses and congested airways are relieve nasal symptoms. common symptoms of a cold, which menthol 57 | Blessed Magazine
Also in this issue can help relieve. Menthol comes from many types of mint plant. It has antibacterial and pain-relieving effects and is an ingredient in many vapor rubs.
People may find that taking oregano oil or rubbing it on the chest helps relieve cold symptoms.
8. Reducing Stress And Sleeping Well People can also add menthol to hot water for a steam inhalation. Although a 2013 study found that menthol inhalation helped reduce coughing due to environmental irritants, there is limited research on its effectiveness in clearing congested airways.
Other research found that vapor rub containing menthol, eucalyptus, and camphor significantly improved sleep in children and adults with cold symptoms. However, the researchers found that the risks could outweigh the benefits, as menthol can sting and irritate the skin.
Stress or poor sleep may increase the risk of getting a cold or the flu. One study suggests that lowering stress levels through mindfulness meditation practices or exercise reduces the risk of getting one of these illnesses. People who participated in a mindfulness meditation or exercise program lost fewer work days due to illness than people in the controlgroup. A small study in 2015 also found that people who slept for fewer hours were more susceptible to colds.
6. Vitamin D Vitamin D-3 may be a useful supplement to prevent or reduce the chances of getting a cold.
Research has found a link between vitamin D supplementation and a reduced frequency of colds in university students. People living in colder climates may also find that a supplement boosts their vitamin D levels during the winter months, when their skin may not get much exposure to sunlight.
9. Probiotics
Probiotics are live bacteria that support gut health and may help prevent people from getting colds or the flu.
7. Oregano Oil
Oregano contains thymol and carvacrol, which both have antibacterial effects. People traditionally use essential oils containing thymol to relieve headaches, diarrhea, and coughs.
Research has shown that probiotics can help protect the immune system against flu viruses. In a controlled trial, there were fewer instances
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Also in this issue instances of colds in people who were taking probiotics than in those who were not.
raspberries are also good sources of vitamin C, which can help support the immune system.
People can purchase probiotic supplements in health food stores or online. Probiotics are also present in many foods, including:
12. Vitamin C
Yogurt Sauerkraut Miso Tempeh
10. North American Ginseng
A person can consume ginseng raw or as an herbal tea. Ginseng may help reduce symptoms of cold or flu, although studies have provided mixed results on its effectiveness. Research on an herbal product containing North American ginseng found that it reduced the risk and duration of cold and flu symptoms in older adults. People can consume raw ginseng or take it in the form of a capsule or herbal tea.
Vitamin C is vital for keeping the immune system healthy. Many people believe that it may help reduce the frequency of colds. Although there is no scientific evidence to show that taking vitamin C prevents colds or reduces symptoms during a cold, researchers have suggested that a regular intake of vitamin C could benefit some people in these ways. They stated that while more research is necessary, the general safety and low cost of vitamin C mean that it is a low-risk method for people to test individually. Citrus fruits and avocados contain high levels of vitamin C. People can also buy vitamin C supplements in pharmacies and online. When To See A Doctor
A cold or flu virus can last for up to 2 weeks, with symptoms usually at their worst for about 2 or 3 days.
11. Berries Berries contain polyphenols, which have antiviral properties and may help fight flu viruses. Research has shown that elderberries can reduce symptoms of the flu and that a cranberry beverage could help support immune function. In some in vitro studies, berry extracts demonstrated the potential to help fight off influenza.
Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), people should see a doctor if their cold or flu symptoms last longer than 10 days with no signs of improvement. If people have any unusual symptoms or their symptoms are very severe, they should contact their doctor.
People who may have a higher risk of complications from the flu should contact their doctor when they initially have flu symptoms, as they may need antiviral treatment.
59 | Blessed Magazine
Also in this issue These people include young children and those who are:
Pregnant Aged 65 Years Or Older At Risk Due To Other Medical Conditions If An Infant Less Than 3 Months Of Age Has A Fever, A Parent Or Caregiver Should Contact A Doctor Straight Away.
Summary People may find that the above home remedies help relieve symptoms of a cold and make it pass more quickly.
Other ways to treat symptoms and recover from a cold or the flu include:
Resting Getting Plenty Of Sleep Staying Warm Drinking Plenty Of Water And Other Clear Fluids Taking Over-the-counter Pain Relievers, Such As Ibuprofen, To Lessen Aches Or Pain Using A Humidifier
People who notice that their symptoms are not improving after 10 days or have any unusual or severe symptoms should see their doctor. END
Disclaimer: Before starting any remedies, please check with your doctor to avoid any complications to current medicines or regimes you‘re currently taking part in. God bless you! 60 | Blessed Magazine
Question: Do You Know
Jesus?
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62 | Blessed Magazine