Blessed Magazine August/September, 2019

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Contents August/September, 2019

Inside This Issue

Spiritual Wellness  

The Tool Box – 20 Should a Christian See a Psychologist / Psychiatrist? – 23

Personal Wellness   

How to Get Your Financial Prayer Requests Answered – 26 Is A Wet Dream / Nocturnal Emission A Sin? – 33 Science Explains What Sleep Paralysis Does To Your Body (And Why It Happens) - 38

Relationships    

11 Amazing Pointers of a Quality Woman – 43 3 Things Christians Do That Non-Christians Despise – 49 When a Suicide Attempt Has No Warning Signs – 56 Marriage Isn’t Meant to Meet Your Needs - 60

67

Feature Story  Yolanda Adams: Touching the World - 67 Also in this Issue: 

Is There Anything You Can Actually Do To Get Rid Of Cellulite?– 69  14 At-Home Date Night Ideas – 70  From Death to Life - 75  Porsha Wants to Know How to Regrow Edges After Postpartum Hair Loss – 77

Regulars  

Editor‘s Corner -12 Market Place - 80

Adams

Touching the World

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Editor’s Corner

Praise the Lord My Brothers and Sisters in Christ! First, I always give all glory and honor to my Lord Jesus Christ for without Him in my life, nothing I could ever do would amount to anything! With the beginning of another school year and election around the corner, it‘s easy to get caught up into the hustle and bustle of life and politics, but remember this one thing…No matter what happens, Jesus is still in control…Praise God! Hallelujah!

I want to personally thank all of our fans and readers for their continued support of this ministry which has continued to strive and for that I am grateful to our Lord, Jesus Christ Our goal is to continue being a resource for Christians and others for years to come and with your support we can keep this publication available free of charge always on our digital platform Pray for us as we continue to pray for you and thank you for reading this issue of Blessed Magazine

God bless you! Your Humble Servant in Christ,

Laraine Turner Editor-in-Chief

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Spiritual Wellness

One year for Christmas when I was younger, I received this little red tool box. I was thrilled! It came with these little tools, âš’ some of which I still have. And yes that‘s the little red tool box pictured below. There was a little red pipe đ&#x;”§ wrench, a small pair of pliers and some screw drivers. It all fascinated me. Now through the years I have kept and added to that tool box little by little. But more recently, specifically over the last two years, 2017-2018 my grandpa started adding to it on a more frequent basis. I can remember coming home from work and every day or week there would be something new to find. He seemed to try and ―hide‖ the tools sometimes. I would open a drawer for a notebook and laying inside would be a mini screwdriver set. I would just smile. It seemed my grandpa was always trying to give me and my family the tools that we needed. And not just for that little red tool box either. The tools for life. Tools to help others, tools to

thrive, the tools to care and the tools to love. The tools to be a decent and honest human being. Tools of integrity and honor. And while I do believe that he did not have enough time to give us all the tools that he would have liked to have given, I know he gave us the right ones. My grandpa was like a toolbox, he had a large source of knowledge and ―tools‖ to offer us and to this world. And everyday we could definitely use that in our lives. But I know what he did leave with us we will take. And we will hold on to and we will develop what we need overtime. Will it be easy? No. But is it possible? Yes. It has to be. We must believe it is. I guess this is just something I was thinking of being that it is my birthday today. And not just any birthday. The very first birthday without him here with us. Is it different? Yes it is, very different. It has to be, just like this

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Spiritual Wellness whole year has been and it always will be. Nothing can change that, you see. A light as bright as the sun has been taken from this world. And that is why I choose to shine brighter than ever. Life is not always easy, in fact life is very complicated. But it‘s not all bad. It‘s the little things like that little red tool box that make the difference. Really it‘s the story behind it that does. That‘s what keeps us going. The stories, because those stories are memories to us and those memories are real. As if nothing ever changed. And that‘s what gives us strength, that‘s how we can go on. Because as long as we hold on to that. Everything will be ok.

Yes I know, I am only 25. But I guess you could say I‘ve ―lived‖ a little. Or perhaps life has ―lived‖ me but I‘d say now it‘s time that we start living life and more abundantly so. Can we all toast to that? I say ‗here, here!‘ Cheers đ&#x;”§ End

21 | Blessed Magazine


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Spiritual Wellness

Should a Christian See a Psychologist / Psychiatrist?

Psychologists and psychiatrists are professionals who work in the field of mental health. People often confuse their roles or mix them up with other mental health professionals such as psychotherapists, psychoanalysts, or mental health counselors. There are many variations of mental health professionals that require several different educational paths and use many treatment methods. Psychologists must attain a Ph.D. in psychology and focus primarily on doing research, teaching on a college level, and maintaining private counseling practices. They can administer testing for many cognitive and emotional assessments as well. Prescription privileges were made available to psychologists in New Mexico in 2002, and various psychologist groups are working to gain such privileges in other states. A psychiatrist is actually a medical doctor who specializes in mental disorders. Psychiatrists are highly trained

in pharmacological treatments for mental health and are the primary mental health professionals to prescribe medications. General practitioners (medical doctors) and nurse practitioners are also able to prescribe psychological medications. When people feel the need for services such as testing for dyslexia or counseling, they may consider going to a psychologist. Typically, people see a psychologist or other counseling professional before they are referred to a psychiatrist. Some psychiatrists practice counseling, but others only administer and monitor medications while partnering with other professionals who perform the therapy. As in any vocation, some psychologists/psychiatrists will be Christians, and others will not.

Christians usually want to know how the Bible

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Spiritual Wellness relates to these professions. The truth is that neither psychology nor psychiatry is wrong in a sinful sense. They both serve valid and helpful purposes. None of the mental health professionals have the ability to fully understand how God made man, how the mind works, why we feel and act the way we do. While there is an abundance of worldly, man-centered theory about mental and emotional issues, there are also many godly people involved in these professions seeking to understand the human mind from a biblical perspective. For Christians, it is best to seek a professional who professes to be a believer, can express knowledge of Scripture, and exhibits godly character. Any counsel we receive must be filtered through Scripture so that, as with everything in the world, we can discern what is true and what is false. Seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist is not wrong. However, mental health professionals come from many different beliefs and backgrounds. Even Christian psychologists and psychiatrists will be unable to give perfect answers, or they may be weak in some area of their biblical knowledge. Remember that the Word of God is our first answer to all that ails us. Arming ourselves with the truth is essential to discerning what is helpful and what is leading us astray (Ephesians 6:11-17; 1 Corinthians 2:15-16). Every believer is personally responsible for studying the Bible for his own personal growth and discernment. The Holy Spirit will use the Word to transform us into the image of Jesus Christ, which is the ultimate goal for all Christians (Ephesians 5:1-2; Colossians 3:3). End

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Personal Wellness

How to Get Your Financial Prayer Requests Answered

Are you praying for a new job, money to pay bills, money to pay your mortgage, college tuition, a business venture or any other kind of financial need?

The Bible says: "Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings." -Malachi 3:8

I am a living witness that God will answer your prayers. In this article, I‘m going to share a few tips on how you can get your financial prayer requests answered. I am also going to share how God answered my prayer requests.

Then verse 9 reads:

God Will Bless Your Finances When You Pay Your Tithes & Offering Paying tithes is an act of faith. As children of God‘s Kingdom, He wants us to pay 10% of our income (or increase). So, let‘s say that you receive $1,000. The tithe that you pay to your church is $100. There are many people who will totally disagree with this statement. Some people believe that tithing ended during the Old Testament years. They are sadly mistaken.

"Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation." -Malachi 3:9 When we don‘t pay our tithes, we are robbing God. As a result, we experience financial hardship. It‘s important to note that when we fail to tithe, it could also affect other aspects of our lives (health, family, etc.). The return on your tithing investment doesn‘t always have to be money. For instance, let‘s say that you need $7,000 to pay for a bill. You do not have that money in the bank. You can‘t take out a loan and you have just been laid off. However, you have paid your tithes consistently. You have prayed and asked God to provide for you. You are full of

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Personal Wellness faith.

God may not give you the money to pay the bill. He may decide to touch the heart of the bill collector to write off the bill. God works in mysterious ways! This happened to me. I owed $3,000 for a bill. I paid tithes consistently during this period of my life. I prayed and asked God to provide me with the money to pay. When I called to confirm the full amount I really owed, the bill collector said that I didn‘t have to pay. He put me on hold and removed the debt from his computer. I didn‘t miraculously receive a blank check in the mail from an anonymous person. I didn‘t get a raise or a second job. God touch the heart of the bill collector on that day. The bill collector decided to remove the debt for good.

Not Paying Tithes Causes Financial Loss (My Experience – Not Good!) I‘m not embarrassed to admit; there was a time that I robbed God of my tithes. I would receive my pay and not give God His portion. I would say, ―If I pay tithes, I won‘t have enough to pay my bills.‖

on my account. I had a negative balance of $200. There is nothing worse than discovering your bank account is -$200 (or any amount). At this point, I was pulling my hairs out. I was on the phone with the bank's customer service department for what seemed like an hour. I pleaded with them to rectify my account. They didn‘t offer to resolve the issue. Unfortunately, during this time in my life, I wasn't trusting God as my provider. I was trusting more in the bank and people.

I went to bed that night worrying about my financial situation. I prayed like never before, but deep inside, I felt God telling me, ―The answer is no.‖ I would pray again, ―Lord, please bless me with money. I really need your help! Please Lord!‖ Then I would hear Him say almost like a whisper, ―No,‖ once again. I couldn‘t understand why I kept having financial problems. Then one day, it dawned on me that I was suffering because I wasn‘t paying tithes consistently. I knew the importance of paying tithes in the past, but I didn't understand. I just allowed fear and doubt to creep into my life.

Then something would go wrong in my life.

I would lose a job and not be able to pay any bills. I remember one time, I had stopped paying tithes altogether because I assumed that I couldn‘t afford to pay. Then one day, something happened to my bank account.

I asked God to please forgive me. He forgave me. Then He eventually blessed me to come out of the financial problem. Unfortunately, this wasn‘t the first time I suffered financially. It took me years to understand the importance of paying tithes.

I was in a situation where the bank put a hold 28 | Blessed Magazine


Personal Wellness When I finally decided to pay tithes (no matter what), God would always provide for me. I had money to buy food every week. I had money to pay bills. However, there were still some things that I needed to accomplish.

One day I prayed to Jesus. I asked Him to help increase my income. I needed a breakthrough like never before. The money that I was earning wasn‘t enough to accomplish all of my goals. The economy was bad and the job market in the town I live in was bleak. I just needed a financial blessing.

Don‘t Worry About Your Finances – God Knows and He Will Supply In Matthew 6:25 - 32 God tells us that when you have faith in Him, you don't ever have to worry about food, clothes, shelter, etc.. Jesus will provide. Then in verse 33 and 34 He says:

―But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.‖

As I was walking to my bedroom, God said, ―You have to sow a seed of faith.‖ In other words, If I wanted my financial prayers to be answered, I needed to give to the less fortunate (after paying tithes).

I have learned that when you are obedient with tithing and you give extra to the less fortunate (poor families or financially struggling families), you are guaranteed a financial blessing. When Will God Bless You Financially? Keep in mind, God‘s time is not our time. It could be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year or longer. There is no way to tell when He will bless you. However, I can assure you that He will supply your financial needs. You won‘t have to worry about having a roof over your head because He will supply. You don‘t have to worry about food or clothes because He will supply.

Receive More Financial Blessings When You Pay Beyond The 10% Tithe When you give to others who are less fortunate (after paying your tithes), God will begin to pour out His blessings upon you. I am also a living witness.

When God gave me the idea to sow a seed (or give)into the lives of the less fortunate, my financial situation changed almost instantly.

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Personal Wellness After paying tithes one week, I gave money to a struggling family. It wasn‘t even a large amount of money. The amount you give to a struggling family could be $5, $20, $100 or more. Sometimes God will lead a person on what amount of money to give.

The following scripture is true: ―Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.‖ -Luke 6:38‖

How I Received My Financial Breakthrough Do You Need a Financial Blessing? The next day, I received a phone call from someone who wanted to give me $2,000. That was more than enough to accomplish what I needed to accomplish that week. This is a long way from hearing God say, "No," to my financial prayer request!

Here are a few tips on how to receive your financial blessings: 1. Give God 10% of everything you earn.

Give a 10th of this tithe to your church. The moment I received the money, I felt the love of God pour over me like warm oil. He took the time out to fulfill my needs. When you give from your heart (consistently) and you trust ONLY in God as your provider, I guarantee you will be blessed financially. There is no other God that will fulfill your need. You just got to trust and give and He will provide your financial need.

2. Give money to a poor or financially struggling family. This can be money, food, school supplies for children. 3. Trust God as your provider. You must trust God as your provider 100%. Don‘t rely on your job, business or anyone else - just God. This shows Him that you love Him and rely on Him for all of your financial needs.

4. Pray daily for your finances. Make sure you pray daily that God will provide your needs. Pray without ceasing/

5. Praise Him and Thank Him. After you pray, make sure you thank Him for providing for your financial needs. You have to thank Him as if you already received your financial blessing. I learned to do this and it 30 | Blessed Magazine


Personal Wellness works! Luke 6:38 reads: "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.―

When you praise God and thank Him for answering your prayers BEFORE you receive the answer - that is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen. 6. Read scriptures daily about financial blessings. Read and meditate on scriptures about financial blessings from God. For example, when I need help financially, I like reading the following scripture of faith: "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." -Luke 11:9

God is Jehovah Jireh (The Lord Will Provide). God wants to bless us. All we have to do is trust in Him and give. He loves us. He will fulfill your financial need. I have tried and trusted Him for my financial needs. If He can bless me, He can bless you! END

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Personal Wellness

Is A Wet Dream / Nocturnal Emission A Sin?

Wet dreams / nocturnal emissions are fairly common in the lives of men. The Bible mentions "emissions" in a few places (Leviticus 15:16,18,32; 22:4; Deuteronomy 23:10). Deuteronomy 23:10 specifically refers to nocturnal emissions: "If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he is to go outside the camp and stay there." Many young men (and older men) struggle with this concept. Is a wet dream / nocturnal emission sinful? How can it be a sin if we have no control over it? Ultimately, we cannot control what we dream about or what happens with our bodies while we are asleep. However, if we are filling our minds with lustful / sinful things during the day, it will likely show up in our dreams. 33 | Blessed Magazine


Personal Wellness show up in our dreams. A nocturnal emission is a natural bodily function that is made more frequent by sexual over-stimulation. A nocturnal emission is not sinful in and of itself, but it can be the result of sinful thoughts, desires, and input. If you have a wet dream / nocturnal emission, examine your thought life. Examine what sort of images you are exposing yourself to. If you find that you have allowed yourself to be "inflamed" by lust, confess that to the Lord and ask for His help in overcoming it. In such a case, the wet dream / nocturnal emission is the result of sin, not a sin in and of itself. Follow the words of Philippians 4:8, ―Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.‖

If you find that the nocturnal emission / wet dream was simply the result of the body naturally "relieving itself," you do not need to confess anything to the Lord. The Old Testament law was very ceremonial in its treatment of bodily discharges, for men and women. Thankfully, we are not bound by these regulations. A man who has had a wet dream / nocturnal emission is not "unclean." Again, the issue is what is going on with your mind. The reactions of our bodies are the result of what takes place in our minds (Matthew 12:34-35).

/ wet dream.

In other words, an actual nocturnal emission may be a natural part of a man's physical activities, yet there may be an unhealthy focus on people, thoughts, or media content that is contributing to this activity. The emission itself is not sinful in this case, but there may be related factors that are. If you are a man or woman who finds yourself dealing with wet dreams / nocturnal emissions, know that this is not abnormal or wrong. However, if you find yourself thinking upon wrong activities before sleeping, then there may be other areas of life to address. In particular, the types of content you watch online or on television may need to be changed. In addition, there may be a particular person you need to stop thinking about and/or spending time with that is becoming a sinful focus in your life. END

However, the important question is whether nocturnal emissions / wet dreams are sinful according to the Bible. It appears that the actual physical act of a nocturnal emission is normal and not sinful. However, there may be times in which a man's sinful thoughts or activities are causing the nocturnal emission 34 | Blessed Magazine


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Personal Wellness

Science Explains What Sleep Paralysis Does To Your Body (And Why It Happens)

Sleep paralysis is a feeling of being conscious, but unable to move. It occurs when a person passes between stages of wakefulness and sleep. – WebMD Of all the weird sensations that one can experience, perhaps there is nothing stranger than not being able to move; more specifically, not being able to move while being consciously aware of one‘s surroundings. IF YOU‘VE EVER WOKEN UP AT NIGHT UNABLE TO MOVE, HERE‘S WHAT IT MEANS… Sleep paralysis is a strange and potentially

frightening phenomenon. Essentially, the person experiencing sleep paralysis can‘t move any part of their body, but yet remains conscious. Those that experience sleep paralyses are often terrified – an understandable reaction from not having voluntary control over one‘s movements. Fortunately, this is a relatively common occurrence and does not cause any physical harm to the body. Sleep paralysis happens during one of two stages -―hypnagogic‖ and ―hypnopompic.‖ Hypnagogic sleep paralysis occurs before falling asleep, while hypnopompic sleep paralysis occurs as one wakes from REM sleep.

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Personal Wellness As we fall asleep, our body becomes deeply relaxed while our minds concurrently become less aware. However, when hypnagogic sleep paralysis occurs, the mind remains aware while the body achieves an involuntary state of relaxation. The person than realizes that they‘re unable to move despite their efforts, often leading to feelings of panic. During REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, our muscles are paralyzed so that we don‘t act out our dreams. When one experiences hypnopompic sleep paralysis, a certain part of the brain wakes sooner. This wakeful state does not affect the part of the brain responsible for REM paralysis, however. The result is a certain degree of wakefulness and no voluntary control over muscles. WHO DOES THIS HAPPEN TO?

Some people are fortunate enough to experience sleep paralysis just once or twice in their life, if ever. Unfortunately, some people experience this phenomenon often – even multiple times a week. A study undertaken at Penn State University discovered that approximately 8 percent of the population has frequent issues with sleep paralysis. Individuals with mental disorders, such as anxiety and depression, are more prone to frequent episodes of sleep paralysis.

Frequent changes in sleep schedule

Mental conditions, such as stress or bipolar disorder

Sleeping on the back

Sleep problems such as narcolepsy or nighttime leg cramps

Certain types of medication, such as those with ADHD

Substance abuse

WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS? Under almost every circumstance, individuals that experience sleep paralysis are unable to move or speak from a few seconds to a few minutes. As mentioned, this usually occurs during the initial stages of falling asleep and almost immediately after waking up. While sleep paralysis often requires no type of treatment, a doctor may further inquire into other areas that pertain to sleep health. Should sleep conditions linger or worsen, the medical professional may then refer to a sleep specialist.

People affected by sleep apnea; people on specific types of medication, and those with an underlying sleep condition may experience more frequent episodes of sleep paralysis. Here is the full list of risk factors, according to WebMD: 

Lack of sleep 39 | Blessed Magazine


Personal Wellness WHAT ARE THE TREATMENTS?

electronic devices out of the bedroom in order to establish healthy sleep patterns.

Because sleep paralysis occurs naturally, there is generally no prescribed treatment. However, if a medical professional detects an underlying condition in the process of diagnosis, a treatment regimen may be in order. Such prescribed treatments are:

Implementation of a sleeping schedule

Prescription for an anti-depressant

Referral to a mental health professional

Referral to a sleep specialist

Treatment disorders

Prescription for sleeping aids

of

any

underlying

Of course, it is very possible that a sleep paralysis episode will occur regardless. If that‘s the case, try and remember to stay calm and realize that it will pass. END

sleep

Often times, making adequate sleep a priority while limiting unnecessary stress (especially before bedtime) will suffice as a deterrent to sleep paralysis. Because of the enigmatic nature of the condition, the effectiveness of formal and informal treatments to alleviate it is ambiguous at best. As a rule of thumb, one episode of sleep paralysis does not usually mandate a trip to the doctor‘s office. Health professionals recommend that those with rare episodes of sleep paralysis pay particular attention to their sleeping habits, as sleep deprivation almost assuredly increases the likelihood of an episode.

Other recommendations include avoiding or severely restricting alcohol/drugs, nicotine and caffeine. It‘s also recommended to keep 40 | Blessed Magazine




Relationships

11 Amazing Pointers of a Quality Woman Well you may wonder what the pointers of a quality woman are and that‘s why in this article we focus on some of the ordinary traits of quality women. We hope that you may find this article entertaining and thoughtful and perhaps even helpful.

Here are traits quality women have in common: TAKES CARE OF HERSELF A woman who takes pride in her herself gets immediate attention and respect. She‘s responsible and accountable for what she does and doesn‘t do and refrains from 43 | Blessed Magazine


Relationships undeservedly blaming anyone for anything. This kind of woman is reliable, hardworking, and confident. COMFORTABLE IN HER OWN SKIN That sort of woman knows her own selfworth and has the confidence to back it up. Though she may be insecure at times (she‘s only human), she‘s able to look into the mirror with pride. This woman is also intelligent enough to realize that her opinion about her appearance is the one that matters. HAS A STRONG SENSE OF INDEPENDENCE

something that reinforces her high level of maturity. This woman will not play childish games, escalate a conflict, or seek to make you jealous. It‘s not an understatement that she probably despises unnecessary drama as much (if not more than) you do.

INSPIRES YOU TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF A quality woman knows what you‘re capable of becoming, and will encourage this without making a fuss about it. She desires you to reach your full potential because she both loves and respects you and your abilities. LEVEL-HEADED ABOUT CONFLICT

In other words, she doesn‘t NEED you – and this is a positive thing. An independent woman isn‘t reliant on anybody for her personal needs. She hasn‘t fallen for you just so that you could provide for her financial, mental or physical necessities. The woman has entered the relationship as an equal partner – and is willing to shoulder the burden at any time if need be.

As a refined, mature, and intelligent woman, she understands the inevitability of occasional conflict. Something that separates a quality woman from the rest is that she remains logical and poised about the situation. She encourages and anticipates an amicable solution to whatever conflict may surface.

ISN’T SELF-ABSORBED OR SELFCENTERED

OPINIONATED AND OPEN MINDED

Of course, a quality woman is not selfabsorbed or self-centered. Quite the opposite, actually – she often gives more than she takes and puts others before herself. In a relationship, this woman‘s selflessness is evident. She wants love, honesty, and respect for you.

She is not afraid to make her opinions known and stick to her guns. She also possesses the knowledge to articulate her beliefs. Perhaps most important, she is tolerant of others and actively listens to what they have to say. In the context of a relationship, her opinionated yet open-minded outlook means she doesn‘t require validation; nor does she expect you to appease her.

NOT INTERESTED IN DRAMA

Theatrics doesn‘t interest a quality woman -

REAL WHEN IT COMES TO INTIMACY

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Relationships Quite simply, a high character woman isn‘t bashful about intimacy. You‘ll know when she‘s ready for the next step, and she isn‘t shy about stating what she is and isn‘t comfortable with. A quality woman approaches intimacy as she does with many other things: with collectedness and maturity. ALWAYS SEEMS TO LEAVE A POSITIVE IMPRESSION As mentioned, a quality woman possesses great character. She‘s confident, smart, open, honest, and loyal. For these reasons and others, she never ceases to leave a good impression on people. Odds are most – if not all – of your family and friends admires and respects her. GOD FEARING It‘s said that a God-fearing woman is beautiful inside out. END

Question: Do You Know

Jesus? 45 | Blessed Magazine


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Relationships

3 Things Christians Do That Non-Christians Despise Spend two minutes talking to almost anyone outside the Christian faith and you‘re almost certain to hear a list of complaints they have about Christians. The problem has been around awhile. As Mahatma Gandhi famously (and sadly) said: ―I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.‖ He‘s not alone. The problem with many non-Christians isn‘t that they don‘t know any Christians. The challenge is they do. So what gives?

Many Christians would tell you we have an image problem: we‘re treated unfairly, we‘re being persecuted, or we‘re just badly misunderstood. 49 | Blessed Magazine


Relationships I‘m not so sure. It‘s not so much that Christians have an image problem. It‘s far more likely that we have an integrity problem.

It also occurred to me that the presence of judgment almost always guarantees an absence of love.

Think about it through the lens of your marriage, a friendship or even someone you Do we get misunderstood on some issues? Of work with: it is virtually impossible to love course. But that‘s outside our control. someone and judge someone at the same time. There are more than a few issues entirely within our control that give us a bad name with people outside Christianity.

But wait, you ask: what if they‘re making a mistake and I need to correct them?

First of all, look at your mistakes and the Here are 3 things Christians do that non- depth of your sin, and deal with your issues Christians despise. first. In the process, you‘ll encounter a loving God who forgives you despite your rather 1. JUDGE egregious sin. It doesn‘t take long for non-Christians to tell And having been loved, you can love others. you how much they hate the way Christians judge other people. I try to remember this rule: If I‘m judging someone, I‘m not loving them. You can‘t Another two minutes on social media will judge someone and love them at the same reveal Christians and preachers condemning time. unchurched people for their sexual habits and preferences, life-style choices and even What would happen if Christians stopped political views. I doubt this is what Jesus had judging the world (isn‘t that God‘s job?) and in mind when he gave his life in love for the started loving it instead? world. I believe that‘s what Jesus did. Disclosure: without the mercy and intervention of Christ, I‘m very judgmental. 2. BE HYPOCRITICAL And years ago, I realized how devastating judgment and criticism can be to others. So There‘s a word for Christian who say one I‘m waging a life-long battle against it. thing and do another. The word is hypocrite. Confessing it, repenting of it almost daily. It‘s far easier to call someone else a hypocrite I realized years ago that very few people get than it is to admit you‘re one. judged into life change. Far more get loved into it. The truth is that as much as I hate it, I‘m a hypocrite. My walk doesn‘t always match 50 | Blessed Magazine


Relationships my talk. That‘s why I don‘t have a fish on my car. When I‘m in a hurry and my natural impatience surfaces, the last thing some person God loves needs to see is a Christian cut him off.

When you admit your shortcomings, you build a bridge between you and others. Owning your sin is different than living in it; confession is never an excuse for complacency.

So what do you do if you live in the tension Of course, it‘s worse than that. I‘m not always between what you usually say or want to say a loving husband, kind father, steadfast son, and what you do? patient boss, or even compassionate friend. Like you, I‘m a mixture of good and not- I think you change both. really-that good evil. You change how you live through the power What did Paul say? Nothing good lives in me. of Christ day by day (getting better), and at the Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our same time, you change how you talk about Lord (Romans 7:18). That could be a life- your faith, yourself and how you live (adding verse for me. Well, actually, it kind of is. more honestly and humility to your words). I wrote about things modern Pharisees say Sanctification is a process that never ends. today in this post (the Pharisees were an ultrareligious group Jesus strong criticized). I am not who I want to be (yet). I am not who God wants me to be. But I‘m different. I‘m Want a quick fix for hypocrisy? Accelerate changing. And Christ is at work in me. your walk. Humble your talk.

I believe that‘s the reality for every person Nothing closes the gap between word and who calls Jesus Savior. action faster than that. So what do imperfect Christians do? I mean just deciding you‘re not going to make mistakes never keeps you from making mistakes.

I think the answer is simple: you watch what you say. Don‘t pretend to be something or someone you‘re not. I find the more humility I add to my words, the smaller the gap is between who I am and who I say I am.

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Relationships 3. STINK AT FRIENDSHIP

house for dinner. They traveled together. They shared moments and meals and life.

Friendship is hard. We all have ideas of finding the perfect friends with whom we‘ll never disagree, share 1000 common interests and ride off into the sunset with.

Well, very few human relationships ever work that way. Even in marriage, the best marriages are almost always ones in which people have overcome deep and real obstacles to find a powerful love that‘s far deeper than emotion. Perhaps the first obstacle between nonChristians and Christians is that relatively few Christians actively pursue meaningful friendships with people who don‘t share their faith. Between churches that offer programs 5 nights a week (leaving little time for Christians to make friends outside the church) and Christians who are afraid of the world, many Christians don‘t pursue authentic relationships with non-Christians. Which means much of the interaction nonChristians have is situational and observational rather than truly relational. They observe Christians in life and at work, notices traces of judgment and hypocrisy and draw all kinds of conclusions. I get that. But Jesus went so much deeper than that. Jesus pursued friendships with people who were different than him. Whose lifestyles were far different than anything God had in mind for them (or for people in relationship with him).

Yet Jesus was their friend. He went to their

It scandalized the religious leaders of Jesus day, and sadly, when it‘s practiced authentically, it still scandalizes most of us today. Think about it. When was the last time you hung out with a hooker? When was the last time you had someone who‘s not your skin color, not your political persuasion and doesn‘t share your value system over for dinner, or when was the last time you broke bread with an addict (who‘s not in recovery)? Often when Christians do pursue ‗friendships‘ with people far from God, it‘s more of a project than it is a friendship.

But people aren‘t projects; people are people. People can smell it a mile away if you see them as a project, not a person. Which leads us to another tension in our friendships with those outside the Christian faith.

Some Christians do have a relationship with unchurched people. So: how exactly do you talk about faith? Great question!

Most of us swing to one extreme or the other: either we always talk about faith, or we never talk about. Both are mistakes. Always talk about faith, and you‘re turning the relationship into a project. Never talk

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Relationships about, and you miss the most important thing in life.

Jud Wilhite, Lead Pastor of Central Church, Las Vegas, calls Didn‘t See It Coming ―the most important book you‘ll read all year.‖

Real friendships always drill down on real issues, and few things are more significant Brian Houston and Andy Stanley call it than the meaning of life. ‗powerful.‘ How do you talk about? Naturally, organically, in the context of your story is a great place to start.

Check it out for yourself and grab your copy by clicking on the image below. END

Real friendships are like that. Want a simpler place than that to begin? Try this. Just like the person. As much friend Reggie Joiner says, people will never believe you love them if they feel you don‘t like them. Boom.

SO LET’S WORK ON THIS STUFF Of all the mysteries we try to crack in life, the mystery of becoming a better, more Christlike, person is the most challenging. That‘s why I‘m so excited about my book, Didn‘t See It Coming. It‘s all about overcoming the 7 greatest challenges everyone experiences, and no one expects.

Take pride for example. One of the things that makes you jealous, judgmental and bad at friendship is, well, pride. And in most of us, pride doesn‘t become an issue because of narcissism, but because of insecurity. That‘s exactly the kind of self-limiting behaviour people struggle with, along with cynicism, compromise, emptiness, irrelevance and more. 55 | Blessed Magazine


Relationships

Suicide. It‘s a terrible word. One of the worst words for a parent to hear. As I was writing this, I received an email from the National Alliance on Mental Illness about suicide prevention. There are tons of posts on social media about suicide prevention because reports just came out about suicide rates being at an all time high.

They did not tell me why. When I got to the school, they told me to come sit down. I knew something bad had happened. They told me I needed to get my son evaluated. Wait, I need to go to the ER? I was so confused and disoriented. Everything had been OK. He was fine that morning. He was fine the day before.

This post is different than most posts about suicide. This is about impulsive suicide.

The school informed me my son had suddenly tried to take his own life by running into oncoming traffic.

Last February, I got a call from my son‘s schooltelling me I needed to come there.

We went to the ER. They would not let him go home.

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Relationships I asked what would happen if I tried to take him home. I was told that was not an option. The hospital psychiatrist actually kept using the word suicide attempt. It was so hard to hear. He had talked about wanting to die before, he would bang his head for long periods of time trying to hurt himself, but suicide attempt? That is not something that any parent wants to hear. As a parent of a child diagnosed with a mental illness, losing my child this way is my worst fear. Even just hearing him say he wants to kill himself is excruciatingly painful. He‘s not currently in crisis. If you asked me today, he‘s suicidal right now, I would tell you no. Not at all. If you asked him, he would say he is fine. That day in February, I would have told you he wasn‘t suicidal either. He would not have met any warning signs. But my son is impulsive. His moods change rapidly and he gets angry and upset without understanding why he‘s angry and upset. If something triggers him, his anger and sadness can quickly escalate. Most suicides are planned. These can be prevented. You need to listen to people, take people seriously and look for the warning signs. This is important and crucial. We need to advocate for funding, for reducing stigma, for early intervention and resources. But in some cases, suicide or suicide attempts are impulsive, unplanned acts. Some happen within five minutes of thinking about it for the first time. An article recently published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology states that

―Suicide is the second leading cause of death among adolescents, and impulsivity has emerged as a promising marker of risk.‖ So what do we do about that? When the incident happened last February. I was devastated. I was scared. He was scared. We were all scared. He acted impulsively. He could have died. Did he truly want to take his life or was he just angry and at that moment that was what his impulses told him to do? His flight reflex. I fear it will happen again. Fortunately, I was right there and was able to calm him down within an hour or so. But what happens when I am not there? Suicide prevention is important. We need to know the warning signs and what to look out for. But we also need to learn more about the underlying causes of impulsivity and the illnesses that result in our children acting this way. We need funding for more research for mental illness in general — the causes, medications and therapies. For now, how do we prevent that from happening again? I do not have the answers, but this is why I am doing what I do. More research needs to be done. As the email I received from the National Alliance on Mental Illness says, we need to advocate for funding, for answers, for the stigma to go away, for awareness.

We have to be vigilant. We have to learn triggers, continue to work on coping skills and how to manage and teach these children and make sure that behavioral programs in schools

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Relationships are adequate and appropriate. If you or someone you know needs help, see our SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES.

If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. END

Question: Do You Know

Jesus? 58 | Blessed Magazine



Relationships

Marriage Isn‘t Meant to Meet Your Needs One of my favorite cartoons shows a group of cavemen standing on top of a cliff, watching one of their own fall over the edge. But he hasn‘t fallen—he‘s been thrown. As he falls, the group‘s leader looks angrily at the others. ―Well, is there anyone else here whose needs are not being met?‖ This is a mischievous but timely critique of a culture in which we expect everything— including our marriages—to meet our needs. When we approach marriage expecting our needs to be met, we fail to understand the real nature of love, and we sow seeds of marital destruction. God hasn‘t designed marriage as a means to meet our personal needs. Assuming

marriage is about meeting needs is dangerous for at least two reasons. 1. Because It’s Not Real Love.

Inward-looking marriage isn‘t real love because it encourages us to view sex and marriage selfishly. ―If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you?‖ Jesus asked (Luke 6:32). Any love that merely gazes adoringly into the eyes of another who adores us isn‘t really love at all. One of the most frightening things about Jesus‘s parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19–31) is that the rich man seems to have been a good family man. Even in the place of the

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Relationships dead he‘s concerned for his brothers. But his so-called love isn‘t really love at all, for it never extends to Lazarus, the poor man lying at his gate. He cares for his family, but his care doesn‘t overflow to needy people outside.

Marriage and family can easily become a respectable form of selfishness. If we marry mainly to meet our own needs, then our marriages will be just that: good-looking masks for selfishness.

―If We Marry Mainly To Meet Our Own Needs, Then Our Marriages Will Be Just That: Good-looking Masks For Selfishness.‖ It is a short step from ―loving you‖ to ―loving me and wanting you.‖ And it‘s too easy for Christians to think of marriage as a discipleship-free zone. Outside of marriage we love to talk about sacrifice, taking up our cross, and so on. But inside marriage we often talk about how to communicate better, how to be more intimate, how to have better sex, how to be happy. If a marriage isn‘t serving God, no amount of personal and sexual fulfillment will make it right. After all, so far as we can see, Ananias and Sapphira had a marriage with excellent communication and shared values. Each understood the other perfectly, yet they suffered terrible deaths under the righteous judgment of God (Acts 5:1–11). 2. Because It Destroys Marriages And Society.

Society.

A self-centered view of sex and marriage destroys marriage and society. At a time when we have higher-than-ever expectations of what marriage offers, marriages are crumbling as never before. We can see this destructiveness by looking at how societies work. Societies in which sex and marriage are viewed as a means to personal fulfillment encourage a man and a woman to gaze into each other‘s eyes, encourage each to find in the other all they need, each to be all to the other. Such cultures promote what we may call a ―religion of coupledom,‖ in which the goal of every man and woman is to live in such an exquisite union. The very word ―relationship,‖ when used as shorthand for ―sexual relationship,‖ reveals this way of thinking. To not be in a ―relationship‖ is presumably to be lonely. And if it were true that ―relationship‖ is found primarily in sexual relationship, then we would have to seek sexual intimacy at all costs. We don‘t need to swallow this lie. Overemphasizing couples as couples also isolates them from the supportive influences of wider family and society. The defining moment is thought to be when they‘re alone in the bedroom, not when they‘re serving as a new social and family unit. Historian Lawrence Stone writes: It is an ironic thought that just at the moment when some thinkers are heralding the advent of the perfect marriage based on full satisfaction of the sexual, emotional, and creative needs of both husband and wife, the

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Relationships proportion of marital breakdowns . . . is rising rapidly. Christopher Brooke, another historian, observes: ―While faced with the spectacle of broken marriages, we have come (by a strange paradox which however goes very deep into the roots of the subject) to expect far more from a happy marriage.‖ Yet one theologian put it, ―Even the smallest cottage of the happiest of lovers cannot be habitable unless it has at least a door and a few windows opening outwards.‖

―The key to a good marriage isn‘t to pursue a good marriage, but to pursue the honor of God‖ We are not made to gaze forever into the eyes of another human being and find in them all we need. If we think we are, we‘re bound to be disappointed. If my dear wife ever thought I could be everything to her, she certainly knows better now! And, of course, if I think marriage is there to meet my needs, what do I do when it fails to meet them?

This irony—that we expect so much of marriage but find it disappointing—is an irony Scripture understands perfectly. It‘s called idolatry. If I pursue any goal above the honor of God, I‘m worshiping an idol. The moment I make my ―relationship‖ the goal of my life, I doom myself to disappointment. Surprisingly, the key to a good marriage isn‘t to pursue a good marriage, but to pursue the honor of God. END 63 | Blessed Magazine

Question: Do You Know

Jesus?



7 Low-Carb Meals in Under 10 Minutes Written by Kris Gunnars, BSc



Feature Story

Adams

Touching the World 7167 | Blessed Magazine | Blessed Magazine


Feature Story Growing up in Houston, TX, as the oldest of six children, Yolanda Adams was born on August 27, 1961. She lived in a house filled with music and love. Her mother studied music, and Yolanda heard everything from Gospel legends James Cleveland and the Edwin Hawkins Singers to jazz icon Nancy Wilson to pop/R&B great Stevie Wonder. Those different styles of music, as well as a strong presence in the church, helped to shape Yolanda as a singer as well as a person.

YOLANDA GETS DISCOVERED As an adult and lead singer with the Southeast Inspirational Choir, the former school teacher of seven years caught the attention of the wellknown composer/producer Thomas Whitfield. He helped her release her first album on a small Gospel label in 1987, and that release led to subsequent releases on Tribute Records.

focuses on mentoring high school students to help them find a career in education. Yolanda also started working with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Resources to ensure that kids in low-income areas receive immunizations.

TOUCHING THE WORLD Yolanda has touched audiences worldwide, and they, in turn, have made their impact upon her. ‖I believe that fans enhance your career. They draw out of me what they need and that‘s how I‘m able to write the songs. It inspires me to feel their love and appreciation. It‘s like what Sally Field said when she won the Oscar, 'You like me! You really like me!' I never take that for granted, and each year and each album I am humbled that there are people who want to hear my songs. It‘s truly amazing.‖ END

STEPPING INTO THE MAINSTREAM A little over ten years, several Stellar Awards and Grammy nominations, and many powerful concerts later, Yolanda signed with Elektra Records, a mainstream heavyweight. Her first release with Elektra went multi-platinum, won several awards, and successfully made the cross over to the secular market without watering down or compromising her message at all.

A NEW LABEL Restructuring at her label left her on hiatus for nearly four years, until 2005 when she released a new album with Atlantic. Not that she sat around doing nothing—she kept touring and started laying the groundwork for her Voice of an Angel Foundation, which 68 | Blessed Magazine

Question: Do You Know

Jesus?


Also in this issue Is There Anything You Can Actually Do To Get Rid Of Cellulite

with your weight. Almost all women experience it, regardless of their size or shape. Even a very slim person can have cellulite, points out celebrity cosmetic Paul Jarrod Frank, MD, founder of PFRANKMD & Skin Salon. Dr. Robinson also adds that it‘s a common misconception that it can be exercised away.

So Why Don’t Men Have To Deal With Cellulite?

They say nothing in life is certain except death and taxes. But you can likely add cellulite to the list. The lumps and bumps affect pretty much all women: 85 to 95 percent of women have cellulite, says Deanne Robinson, MD, a dermatologist in Westport, CT. And while there‘s no shortage of lotions, potions, and inoffice treatments promising a miracle cure, do any of them actually work? Ahead, experts weigh in on what will actually help a dimpled derriere. What Is Cellulite? The dimpled, lumpy appearance you see occurs due to basic anatomy. Your skin sits on top of a layer of fat, which is tethered to the muscle underneath with fibrous bands. Those lumps and bumps occur when fatty deposits get pushed up around the bands, rather than lying flat. Who Does It Affect?

Repeat after us: Cellulite has nothing to do

While men can have cellulite, it‘s extremely rare. So, just like all the many other physical joys only women experience, you can blame hormones. Estrogen causes the fat underneath the skin to bunch up together, rather than lay smoothly. Women also tend to carry more fat in their hips, thighs, and butt, which is why this is where the dimpled skin most often crops up. Do Cellulite Creams Work? The short answer: Maybe a little, but only temporarily. Many of these creams contain ingredients such as caffeine, which can constrict blood vessels and make skin look firmer, while also flushing out excess water in between fat cells for a de-puffing effect. Others work by plumping the skin, making it appear smoother. Still, these results are not permanent: ―Creams aren‘t treating the underlying fibrous bands that cause cellulite,‖ notes Dr. Robinson.

That being said, so long as you‘re not expecting a miracle in a bottle, there‘s no harm in using one regularly. Along with the cream itself, simply rubbing it in can be helpful; massage promote lymphatic drainage, helping to flush out fluids that can cause fat cells to

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Also in this issue swell and cellulite to look more prominent. Two we like: Glytone Slim Design Cellulite Night Cream ($44; dermstore.com) and Neora Firm Body Contour Cream ($80; neora.com). What About In-office Treatments?

―Cellulite is a progressive problem so there‘s always going to be some maintenance involved, and there‘s not one laser or injection that fixes everyone‘s cellulite,‖ says Dr. Frank. ―But if you find the right one for you, you can achieve a 40 to 70 percent improvement in cellulite.‖ His top choices? Injectable semi-permanent biostimulatory fillers, which essentially fill in dimples; results are instant and last up to year. Shockwave and radiofrequency therapy is another option. ―Acoustic waves break up the fibrous bands that cause dimpling while radiofrequency energy tightens the skin. The process is quick and feels like a mini jackhammer mixed with a hot stone massage,‖ Dr. Frank says. Dr. Robinson also recommends Cellfina, a procedure during which those fibrous bands are actually cut. It‘s done under local anesthetic and, depending on the area being treated, can be done in under an hour. Results can last for several years.

Dr. Frank. ―There‘s no magic wand and nothing is going to give you air-brushed legs, but there are now more treatment options than ever before,‖ he adds. END

14 At-Home Date Night Ideas

When was the last time you and your significant other went on a date? Even if you have a reliable and trustworthy babysitter, it can be hard to find the time or extra funds to commit to those monthly dates; and there‘s no denying that time spent together is precious and hard to come by. Thankfully, there are many ways we can still keep date night in motion, and even better; you can do them in your own home! So, after the kids go to bed, keep your love life alive with these awesome date night suggestions.

The Bottom Line (Pun Intended) Candlelight Dinner Cellulite is stubborn but take some comfort in knowing that most women experience it at some point in their lifetime. While there are ways that you can address it and achieve some improvement, minimizing the appearance of cellulite takes time and effort, and you have to have realistic expectations above all else, says

For the ultimate romantic evening, dim the lights and spark some candles. Together, you and your partner can make a delicious dinner and enjoy it in a romantic setting. Board Games

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Also in this issue If you‘re into board games, this is a fun way to reconnect! Even if they‘re not your favorite thing in the world, playing against your spouse definitely adds a layer of excitement. Plan A Vacation

We tend to daydream about travel and seeing new destinations; but why not act on it. Write a list of a few places you‘d like to visit; then research ways to make it happen.

Nightcap Tasting If you and your spouse are into beverage tasting; this is the one for you. To create your own tasting party, head to your local liquor store and have them help you choose a few newfound favorites. After the kiddos go to bed, set up a few sipping glasses alongside some good snacks, and have a nice cozy tasting party.

Create A Bucket List Since having kids, have either one of you really taken a look at your bucket list? This is a fun way to see what each other‘s hopes and dreams are. Not to mention an awesome guide for future travel plans and date nights. Go Stargazing Outdoor Movie

Plug in the projector screen and head out under the stars. With the use of some comfy blankets and good snacks, you can create your own drive-in movie in your own backyard.

Look no further than to the sky! Head into your backyard with some blankets and pillows and cuddle up at your gaze at the stars.

Roast S’mores Although we‘re used to roasting s‘mores with our kids, there‘s something special about sitting outside with your partner and creating a treat for yourself or each other. It‘s a nice way to enjoy the peace and quiet while indulging in the simple joys of roasted flavors of s‘mores.

Take-Out Movie Here‘s the ultimate comfort eating duo. Put on

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Also in this issue some movies and indulge in your favorite take-out food! If your favorite restaurant delivers; that‘s even better!

way to unwind and get all up close and personal after a long day. Not to mention, it‘s a great way to relax and enjoy each other‘s company.

Cuddle up, unwind and enjoy your food without worrying about the dishes. Travel Theme Night Have you wanted to travel somewhere, or possibly revisit a place you‘ve seen before? By having a travel theme night, you can create a slice of that desire. Accent your home with culture from your chosen destination. For example; if it‘s Italy you‘re dreaming of, turn on some Italian music alongside your preferred pasta dinner. Then follow it up with an Italian movie and some gelato. Book Club For Two If you are your partner love reading or want to spend more time doing so; this is a great option. To host a book club for two, check out two of the same books and read them either together or on your own. When you‘ve both completed the book, discuss it at your book club.

DIY Wine and Paint Night

This has become increasingly popular over the years. Thankfully, it can be easily recreated in the comfort of our home; and it‘s easy to do! Simply, set up some canvas, paints, and bottle of wine; and you‘re good to go. Choose a photo or painting you both like and see how close you can get to the original. Create A Memory Book Although we hold so many awesome memories in our minds, it‘s always fun to share them out loud. Not to mention this is a wonderful way to reconnect with your significant other. Gather some crafting supplies and create a memory book of stories and photos.

Get Bubbly

Not only will this be a beautiful keepsake for years to come, but your children will love looking through it as well.

Bubble bath for two, anyone? This is a nice

Date nights should never be taken for granted.

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Also in this issue They‘re these wonderful moments that help us reconnect and help strengthen our bond. Thankfully, there are many options that we can do in our own home- and without a babysitter! END

73 | Blessed Magazine



Also in this issue

From Death to Life

This statue shows a Christian woman who is old at death's door. As she passes from this life to the next, she is no longer sick or old and does not carry the burdens of this mortal life. She is welcomed by her Savior into eternal life whole and strong to live forever in heaven. What a promise, what joy unspeakable! Shared From Anne Brown - https://www.facebook.com/annie.brown.98478672

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Jesus Will Never Leave You! If you haven’t discovered Jesus as your personal savior and would like to get to know Him today; please click the button below for a free e-book from our friends at Guideposts titled

‘How to Make Jesus Your Best Friend’


Also in this issue

Porsha Wants To Know How To Regrow Edges After Postpartum Hair Loss Porsha Williams has been all about that new mommy life. She‘s been showing off mommyand-me photoshoots left and right and her postpregnancy snap back has been one for the books. But, now the reality tv star is getting hit with the hairline blues.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta co-star took to Instagram Tuesday to share her own postpartum hair loss woes. ―My edges have fallen out after childbirth!,‖ she said. ―I heard it would happen but I didn‘t think it would have snatched mine.‖ It‘s a pretty common new mommy issue. After the joy of welcoming in your new baby and enjoying all of that fabulous new growth, it seems your hair starts to shed out of nowhere, even coming out in clumps.

prenatal vitamins and rubbing Jamaican black castor oil on her edges to drinking lots of water and eating healthy foods. Of course, those things are must-dos for any healthy hair journey, but it‘s important to know postpartum hair loss is hormonal — and inevitable.

She asked for some ―real mommy tips‖ to get her edges back in formation, and social media came through with all sorts of recommendations.

During pregnancy, your hair follicles are all in an active growing stage (anagen) — that‘s why your hair was extra thick and flourishing! Then up to three months after childbirth, hair returns to its normal resting stage, so you end up with tons of shedding.

Fans suggested everything from continuing to take

Given that, patience is key. You will need to be

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Also in this issue extra protective with your hair to increase retention while your hair grows back to its natural state. This could take anywhere from six months up to a year. It also means you may have to change up your hairstyle to hide the current loss (satin scarves could become your best friend) — and to help protect and promote new growth. (Sorry, Porsha — you‘re going to have to chill out on those frontals for daily slay. )

Two easy go-tos for kinky curl hair are twist- and braid-outs and loosely pulled back buns. For sleek tresses, instead of a combover, think a ―comb-forwards with strategic middle and side parts based on where your hair loss is in the front. Or you can take this time to edge up your look with faded, tapered sides or even an undercut. Just don‘t stress too hard. This kind of hair loss is only temporary. But, if you do think it‘s something more severe, press pause on the next YouTube tutorial and hit up your dermatologist. END

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