REFRESHER: Breaking the Mirror

Breaking The Mirror by Brandon J. Stroud

At least twice a day, most individuals around the world have the ability to look themselves in the face. Mirrors have often served as a guidance of where we have been, what has invaded our minds throughout the day, and ultimately a reflection of who we hope to become. A mirror offers a reflection of so many various parts of us, but we often do not see the full inner being. 2020 was a weird year for the entire world. We had to take a look in the mirror that may have been one of the truest reflections of self. The world was completely naked due to a severe illness, while the individual was dealing with the self work and worth of who they were. Who they were without connection to family, jobs, and overall titles that did not allow for us to break the glass.

It is okay to have felt the deepened breath that reminded you that you may not be where you thought you should be. Spending my 29th and 30th birthdays in this pandemic have shown me a lot, especially after associating myself in relationships of all sorts that can at times have seemed unbeneficial. Many of us began to release individuals from our lives who truly did not serve a purpose. Others of us continued to search for the love that is often so sought outside of ourselves. 2020 was the year of seeing yourself in the purest form of reality, naked. Many of us were alone (unless you spent the summer protesting against the patriarchy), nervous and for the first time dealing with the ability to see ourselves. Broken and whole. And sometimes we have to break the mirror. We have to then take those broken pieces and create a mirage of the beauty you wish to see. I recently saw a meme that said “that freeing feeling when you can say ‘thats not me anymore’”. I sat and I wondered how many times I had spoken those words to people I had loved within the last few months or even years, of saying that is not me anymore. I also reflected on a time where a high school classmate gently reminded me that we were no longer friends, due to the fact we had not spent several years in each other's presence. Also due to the fact that no communication or space of any kind had been shared with one another. I profoundly also began to recognize that some of those words or images connecting with the person “who I used to be” not to the “who I am now”. I often still carry the same hurt and trauma of life that has been lived. I recall speaking to an old college mentor around truly not having friends in college, but thanking them for always seeing me in the pureness of who I was.

The mere difference of timing is the only separation of seeing myself differently. Maybe, we are not seeing ourselves differently, but also recognizing who people really were once the multilayer of masks began to be revealed. We had to shed our own masks, if we decided to do the “shadow work” and “light work” around who we were, are, and are hopeful about becoming. 2020 should be a reflection of how to see self and others. In a pureness of where you may be with that person. In a directness of creating boundaries when you see potential harm coming towards you. A willingness to explore those boundaries with those who may not fully understand you and are for those who are not seeking to misunderstand you.

Being seen in the world, first takes courage to dismantle the reflection of yourself in the world. This means, you are deeper than what you see. We must all remember a few things. We cause ourselves harm by not accepting and loving the physical and emotional scars of life that we refuse to let go. Yes, others have harmed us and others shall attempt to harm us in similar or unfamiliar ways. It is us who must address the harm, regardless if the other person truly sees or understands it. Finally, that once we look in the mirror we must truly apologize to those who we have harmed due to our own hurt. A mirror has multiple perspectives to take into account. And as a car side mirror says “objects may appear closer”...take a moment to truly get close to yourself in this time. Taking a moment to see and love your scars. Taking the moment to see what is truly further behind you and no longer resides in your sight, while also enjoying the beauty that is in front of you.